COMPOSITION DEVELOPED BY EXAMPLES

The model composition: New Lifestyles from Old Ideas

The accumulated wisdom of religions and philosophies from around the globe
offers much guidance to people who are shaping lifestyles appropriate to the end of
the twentieth century. From the orient, from the Arab world, and from the West come
ideas that have endured. Here are some of them.
Buddhism, Christianity, and many other beliefs recognize the value of the
Golden Rule: “Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you”. The Greek
philosopher Socrates illustrated the Golden Rule at the end of his life. Sentenced to
death in the fifth century B.C. for his heretical social and religious views, he refused
the chance to escape from prison. This was his reasoning. When a person is born,
Socrates pointed out; he enters into an amplified contract with the state. Because of
this, the individual has the right to expect protection from the state throughout his
lifetime. In turn, the state has an equally strong claim on the citizen to obey its laws. If
a person feels that a law is unjust, said Socrates, he has two courses of action. He can
work to either influence the repeal of the law or renounce his work in order not to
break the law. In this, he is not different from the state, which must not neglect its
duty to the citizen. Socrates’ experience speaks to the modern man who sometimes
may be tempted to use extreme means to upset the delicate balance existing between a
citizen and his state.
A second insight stems from the “categorical imperative” first formulated by
the German philosopher Immanuel Kant in his 1785 work ‘Metaphysic of Morals’.
Stated simply, the ‘categorical imperative’ holds that a person should act as if the
example of his action were to become a general law for all men to follow. Following
this premise, one would find it difficult to justify theft or murder. Even to borrow
money is wrong, according to Kant, because if everyone did this, there would be no
money left to borrow.
Further guidelines are found in the teachings of Mohamed, collected in the
Koran. His Islamic contributions express a profound humanism; Mohamed
emphasized the dignity of man and viewed the whole humanity as a single nation. He
both encouraged the expansion of knowledge and placed great importance on the
value of work, however humble it might be. Today’s young crafts people, skilfully
working to create woven goods or jewellery or candles, and the street musicians in
many North American cities are all following the industrious tradition of Mohamed.
Still another percept, this one from the Buddhist religion is illustrated by the
custom of buying a bird in a small wooden cage in order to open the cage’s door and
release the bird. The underlying ideas of gentleness and freedom have a timeless
relevance.
Finally, the two short sentences carved by the Greeks on the Temple of Delphi
can give superb direction to human life regardless of time or place. “Know thyself”,
says one inscription, offering advice that is vital but not easy to follow. In addition
“nothing in excess” reads the second, echoing the Golden Mean, or middle way,
stressed by many religions. This rule of avoiding excess in actions can apply equally
well to almost every phase of life, including eating, drinking, sleeping, working,
playing, thinking, and reading.

Questions

1. What is the purpose of the first paragraph of the essay?

2. Underline the thesis statement. What does it tell you about the organization of
the body paragraphs?
3. Identify the topic sentences of the body paragraphs.
4. How many examples does the writer discuss in this essay to support her thesis
statement?
5. Is the essay coherent? Justify
6. Does the conclusion seem appropriate? Justify your answer.
 Development by Examples

In an essay developed by examples, how well the author presents his points
depends largely upon the persuasiveness of his examples.
In the composition, New Lifestyles from Old Ideas, the purpose is to explain some of
the world’s most fundamental philosophical ideas. It is built on examples. Among
them are the Golden Rule, the experience of Socrates, the Categorical Imperative of
Immanuel Kant, and the inscriptions on the Temple of Delphi.
By its nature, philosophy is an abstract subject. Because of this, it can be
confusing to someone who is untrained in the subject. The writer realizes that the
composition would probably not communicate its ideas to the reader if it were written
in wholly general terms. Therefore, the writer has relied upon examples in order to be
more specific and easily understandable.
Examples should be meaningful to the reader. Suppose you want to write about
Newton’s principle of Relativity. You may realize that it is a complex concept. To
define it in terms that a general reader can understand, you may choose to use familiar
examples like a train or a ship. You could decide to use only one example: that of the
ship. This probably would state the idea quite well. But by adding a second example
of the train, you would make relativity still more understandable to the reader,
particularly the reader who is more familiar with train travel than with travel by ship.
To explain the process as clearly as possible, the writer may bring in a personal
experience as an illustrative example.
When you decide to use one fully developed example, you may use a few short
examples in the introduction for a specific purpose.
Examples are used to emphasize the controlling ideas of passages. Choose
examples for your own writing that do the same thing. In addition, pick examples that
will have force and meaning for your readers. Your goal should be to supply fresh,
unusual examples that suggest new connections and insights. Arrange your ideas in
order of increasing importance, saving the strongest examples for last. Your main goal
should be to arrange examples to get the effect that you want.
Transitions used in the development by examples:
Consequently, finally, otherwise, similarly, accordingly, therefore, another, as a
result, at last, at this time, too, thus, for example, for instance, furthermore, in fact,
likewise, also, moreover, nevertheless, on the other hand, such, then…
In the model composition, the final sentence of the first paragraph is a transitional
signal: Here are some of the beliefs This signal leads into the first sentence of the
second paragraph, which begins with a listing of Buddhist, Christian and other beliefs.
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The third paragraph opens with the phrase “A second insight”; the fourth with
“further guidance”; the fifth with “still another percept” ; the sixth with “finally”.
In each new paragraph, these essential first words inform the reader that the train
of thought of the previous paragraph has ended and that a new aspect of the subject is
to be introduced.
The process of linking paragraphs together, requires, if not more planning,
perhaps at least more imagination and ingenuity than that of placing transitions
between and within sentences.
The thesis statement:
The thesis statement in the model composition is in the introductory paragraph. It
indicates to the reader what the piece of writing is all about: “From the orient, from
the Arab World and from the West come ideas that have endured. Here are some of
them”. Notice that the thesis is stated clearly and that the reader is readily informed
about the type of development the writer is using.
The developing paragraphs:
The five paragraphs of the main development each begins with a topic sentence:
-Buddhism, Christianity, and many other beliefs recognize the value of the Golden
Rule….
-A second insight stems from the Categorical Imperative…
-Further guidelines are collected in the teaching of Mohamed…
-Still another percept, this one from the Buddhist religion…
-Finally, the two short sentences carved by the Greeks on the Temple of Delphi…
In each of these sentences, the controlling idea can easily be identified.
The purpose:
To explain some of the world’s most fundamental philosophical ideas.
The concluding paragraph:
The concluding paragraph in this essay is part of the developing paragraphs. It
contains the last example. It ends in a wise philosophical thinking.

2- Organization of Example / Illustration essay

a- Number of examples or illustrations in this type of essay:
The number of examples in an example essay depends on the topic. Some
topics require numerous examples; others can be developed with three or four
illustrations.
b- Features of Example / Illustration essay In writing an example essay,
you should consider the following remarks:
1) Example without a point does not help you essay. By point, we
mean the thing that prove and support the thesis statement. Make
sure that your example has a point, and that point is the one you
are trying to make. For instance, smoking cigarettes does more
harm than benefits; in this case, the examples chosen to support
this thesis should all show the bad effects of smoking. The bad
effect of smoking is the shared point between all the examples of
the essay you will write.
2) Remember that your thesis statement is not so much arguing a
position in the example essay as arguing that a certain condition or
a phenomenon exits. For example in "smoking does more harm
than benefits", your aim here is to prove by relying on examples
that this phenomenon really exist, and you are not asked to argue.
3) Be aware of the lack of transitions between examples. Be
particularly worry of the phrase," for example". How many time
this expression can be said in an example essay, doing so your
essay will lack imagination because redundancy and repetition is
often an indication f lack of imagination.

3- Coherence in an Example / Illustration essay

a) Organization of Examples: the examples in this type of essay can
be organised according to time, familiarity, and importance. Most
of the time the beginning is with the least interesting (important,
familiar…) example and the ending is with the most interesting
(important, familiar…) one.
b) Transition between Paragraphs: developmental paragraphs in an
example essay must be connected so that they flow smoothly.
There are two ways to connect paragraphs in an essay; either with
transitional expressions or with the repetition of the key words and
phrases.
c) Transitions to introduce examples:
 1st paragraph: take, for example, this topic; first consider
the case of; to begin (to begin with) consider…
 2nd paragraph: another example of…; an additional
example is; second, consider…; next, consider
 In the third paragraph, you can use the same type of
transitions as above, but in an example essay that
introduces the most important, or the most significant; you
should indicate its importance at the beginning of the last
paragraph. You can use the following transitions:
Still another example…; finally, consider…; the most
important example of a good teacher is…; the most
significant (interesting) example of air pollution is
provided by…
Repetition of Key words and phrases:
Transitional expressions are useful for making paragraphs connect
logically; however, these phrases can become mechanical and repetitious.
For a variety and even for more smoothness, pick up a key word or a
phrase from one paragraph and use it in the sentence introducing the next
paragraph.