Conseils Avant Mariage Premarital-Curriculum

A Brief Overview for Pastors (and Others) to Our Premarital Curriculum
I’m glad you are interested in our premarital material. Included below is a running
commentary that is meant to be a brief guide to our premarital curriculum. As you
can see if you flip through the material, there are three key parts: (1) a marital
inventory; (2) our four premarital lessons; (3) a marital book to read alongside the
premarital curriculum. (Number three you will need to purchase from a wholesale
distributor like Amazon.)
On our marital inventory: There are three reasons to use the inventory. Reason 1:
The inventory helps you to get to know the couple better. This is especially useful if
you don’t feel like you know the couple all that well. So I’ll deliberately read both of
their inventories before the first session (which means you have to ask them to
submit the completed inventories a few days in advance of the first session). Reason
2: So you can help the couple to get to know one another better. So, I ask them to
fill out the inventory separately and then talk through the entire inventory with one
another. The goal is for them to have finished their ‘talk through’ by end of the last
premarital session. Reason 3: So that you can ask the couple questions (and offer
challenges or rebukes or encouragement) in areas of strength, areas of confusion, or
areas where they differ with one another, or areas you think they are not yet
prepared for marriage. For example, suppose the couple has a very different vantage
point on gender roles. You’d want to ask them about their answers, and work
through this topic with them. Or suppose one of them struggles with forgiveness.
You’d want to ask about this and make sure they are ready to be forgiving of their
spouse in marriage.
On the premarital curriculum: There are four lessons: a theology of (1) marriage;
(2) communication; (3) sexuality; and (4) everything else (love, money, forgiveness
and children).
Each lesson is broken down into four parts:
(a) the Scripture studies. The main thing we do in each session is study Scripture.
Think of this as an interactive, inductive Bible study; not a sermon. We want to
study a wide-variety of texts to see what God’s Word has to say about the different
aspects of marriage. I spend a lot of time asking questions and getting the couple to
think through the text. For more mature couples I can ask a lot of questions and
lead them through the text by thoughtful questions. For less mature couples, I have
to do a lot more than ask questions; I probably have to do a lot more teaching.
(b) practical exercises. This is our chance to apply God’s Word to the nitty-gritty
details of life. These should be completed before they come into the session.
Session 1: You see Part 1. Leaving and Cleaving exercise: I don’t like the
questions, but the main point is to get the couple to talk about any issues
with separating from their family. Part 2 is a chance for them to reflect on
their vows. Part 3 is the strength and weaknesses exercise.
Session 2: Part 1 is communication through Proverbs. I get the couple to

pick out Proverbs that reflect their strengths, weaknesses and ideals for
communicating. Part 2 is recording a fight. I get them to talk about a conflict
they recently had and I try to give them wisdom on how to handle conflict.
Session 3: Part 1 is a set of questions that the couple does separately and
then talks about them. In Part 2, they each individually find someone who is
a Christian, the same gender (guys ask guys; gals ask gals) and married. They
will interview this person, asking him or her questions specifically about sex.
Questions have been included just in case they don’t know what to ask. If
they have additional time, I’ve included a number of other questions to ask.
Session4: In Part 1, the main exercise is to complete a tentative budget and

then to use the questions included in the curriculum to reflect on their
budget. If the wife hopes to be at home after they start having children, I ask
the couple to make a second budget that reflects an adjustment to living off of
just the husband’s income. And then they should compare the first and
second budget to see how big of a shift it will be from the first budget to the
second. In Part 2, you’ll find a scheduling exercise, which helps the couple to
align their schedules as a couple, rather than organizing their schedules like
individuals in the first few months of their marriage.
(c) sermons. Some people learn better by listening rather than reading.
(d) reading. Mainly from our main marriage book: Gary & Betsy Riccucci’s Love
that Lasts.
FYI. I’ve also written a 5-minute lesson on each topic – marriage, communication,
sex and money. With each 5-minute lesson, I teach the couple a few basic points on
each topic. I have my own hand-written notes, and would encourage you to come up
with your own. Think of this part as a summary of your own lessons learned in each
of these areas.
As we revise the premarital curriculum, we’ll post a new version in the resource
section of the biblical counseling coalition’s website. So be sure to check their
website every other year or so.
Introduction*to*Pre-Marital*Counseling*at*CHBC*
We’re%very%excited%for%your%engagement%and%for%all%that%God%will%do%as%you%move%toward%marriage.%
Thank%you%for%the%privilege%of%assisting%you%and%your%fiancée%as%you%seek%out%pre>marital%counseling%
at%CHBC.%What%you’ll%find%in%this%brief%introduction%is%a%short%guide%to%premarital%counseling%at%
CHBC,%including%a%description%of%the%contents%of%this%binder.%
WHAT’S*THE*POINT*OF*PREMARITAL*COUNSELING?*
There%are%five%purposes%for%premarital%counseling.%
(First,(we(want(to(help(you(build(a(solid,(biblical(foundation(as(you(start(your(marriage.((So,%we’ll%
spend%a%lot%of%time%in%Scripture%and%thinking%through%biblical%ideas%as%they%apply%to%marriage.%
Secondly,(we(want(to(help(you(begin(a(dialogue(about(your(marriage.%There%are%a%host%of%topics%
(communication,%finances,%sex,%parenting,%etc.)%that%we%think%are%important%to%consider%before(you%
get%married.%The%good%news%is%that%the%conversation%we%are%beginning%is%a%life>long%process.%We’ll%
solve%some%problems,%but%many%others%will%be%left%for%you%to%work%though%over%the%course%of%your%
entire%marriage.%We’ll%start%the%dialogue,%and%leave%the%rest%to%you.%
Thirdly,(we(will(point(out(areas(of(concern(in(your(relationship.%We%are%all%sinners.%No%relationship%is%
perfect.%Despite%all%of%your%premarital%bliss,%you%are%going%to%have%problems,%conflict,%and%struggles%
in%your%relationship.%We%want%to%help%you%address%these%difficulties%sooner%rather%than%later.%So,%the%
more%honest%you%are%about%your%struggles,%the%more%you%will%facilitate%the%pastor’s%ability%to%help%
you%in%preparation%for%marriage.%
Fourthly,(we(want(to(preserve(you(from(temptations.%Lots%of%Christian%couples%do%a%good%job%of%
preserving%themselves%from%premarital%sex,%but%once%they%get%engaged,%they%let%down%their%guard%
and%begin%falling%into%sexual%temptation.%Men%and%women%rationalize%premarital%sex%with%thoughts%
like,%“We’re%engaged,%which%means%we%are%practically%married%already;”%or,%“We’ll%be%married%soon,%
so%what%does%it%matter?”.%Even%worse,%some%guys%feel%a%sense%of%entitlement%to%the%woman’s%body%
because%they%are%now%engaged.%We%(the%pastoral%staff)%want%to%help%you%fight%temptation%and%stay%
pure%until%the%wedding%day!%
Fifthly,(we(want(to(prepare(you(for(the(marriage,(and(not(just(the(wedding(day.%We%often%find%that%
couples%get%caught%up%in%the%frantic%details%of%preparing%for%the%wedding%day,%and%don’t%spend%much%
time%getting%ready%for%the%marriage.%Premarital%counseling%is%meant%to%slow%you%down%and%help%you%
think%about%the%relationship.%The%wedding%day%marks%the%beginning%of%your%life%together,%but%the%
marriage%will%last%for%the%rest%of%your%life.%So,%it%is%good%for%you%to%take%time%to%prepare%for%this%life>
long%journey%together.%
* *
WHAT’S*INVOLVED*IN*PREMARITAL*COUNSELING?*
Premarital%counseling%involves%four%sessions%with%one%of%our%pastoral%staff.%The%counseling%will%
range%anywhere%from%8%to%10%hours%total%(approximately%2%to%3%hours%per%session).%%
Here%is%our%five>fold%strategy%behind%the%premarital%counseling:%
READ:*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
You’ll%be%assigned%reading%from%Gary%&%Betsy%Ricucci’s%Love(that(Lasts(and%C.J.%Mahaney’s%Sex,(
Romance(&(the(Glory(of(God.%%%
STUDY:*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
In%each%session%you%will%study%Scripture%to%set%a%solid,%biblical%foundation.%
LISTEN:**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
On%the%CHBC%website,%you%will%find%sermons%that%relate%to%topics%covered%in%each%session.%To%
reinforce%the%material%we%are%studying,%we%will%encourage%you%to%listen%to%a%few%of%the%sermons.%
APPLY:**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Each%session%has%application%exercises%that%apply%the%key%ideas%to%your%specific%relationship.%
TALK:**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
You%will%have%lots%of%conversations—with%your%future%spouse,%with%the%pastor,%with%your%parents,%
and%with%other%couples%in%the%church.%These%conversations%will%both%prepare%you%for%the%wedding%
day%and%help%you%to%grow%in%godliness.%
WHAT’S*IN*THIS*BINDER*****************************************************************************************************
In%this%binder,%you%will%find%most%of%the%materials%you%will%need%for%premarital%counseling%at%CHBC.*
In*the*first*section*of*this*binder*you*should*have:*
• The%introduction%
• A%marriage%preparation%inventory%
In*the*middle*section*of*this*binder*you*should*have:*
• Materials%for%the%four%pre>marital%counseling%sessions.%%Each%session%includes%a%Scripture%
Study%guide,%applications%exercise,%sermons%to%listen%to%and%readings.%%%
Here%are%the%four%counseling%sessions%in%depth:%
Session%1—A%Theology%of%Marriage%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
• Scripture%Study:%Genesis%1:26>28;%2:15>25;%3:1>24;%Ephesians%5:21>31%%%%%%%%%%%%
• Exercises:%Pt.%1%Questions%about%Leaving%your%Family%of%Origin%/%Pt.%2%Wedding%
Vows%/%Pt.%3%Your%Strengths%&%Weaknesses%%
• Sermons:%Mark%Dever%and%John%Piper%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
• Reading:%Ricucci’s%Love(that(Lasts,%chs.%1>3%%%
Session%2—A%Theology%of%Communication%
• Scripture%Study:%Matthew%12:22>37;%Ephesians%4:17>32;%James%3:1>18;%4:1>12%
• Exercises:%Pt.%1%Communication%in%Proverbs%/%Pt.%2%%Working%through%conflict%%
• Sermons:%Zach%Schlegel%and%Paul%Tripp%
• Reading:%Ricucci’s%Love(that(Lasts,%chs.%4>6%%%
Session%3—A%Theology%of%Sex%
• Scripture%Study:%Song%of%Solomon,%1%Peter%3:1>7;1%Corinthians%6:12>20,7:1>7%
• Exercises:%Pt.%1%Sex%questions%/%Pt.%2%Interview%a%married%friend%%
• Sermons:%Al%Mohler,%Mark%Dever,%Thabiti%Anyabwile,%and%John%Piper%
• Reading:%Ricucci’s%Love(that(Lasts,%chs.%7>8,%CJ%Mahaney’s%Sex,(Romance(and(the(
Glory(of(God%
Session%4—A%Theology%of%Everything%Else:%Love,%Money,%Forgiveness,%and%Children%
• Scripture%Study:%1%Corinthians%13:%2%Corinthians%8:1>15;%Matthew%18:21>35;%
Psalm%127%
• Exercises:%%Budget%&%Scheduling%%
• Sermons:%Al%Mohler,%John%Piper,%and%Andy%Davis%
• Reading:%Ricucci’s%Love(that(Lasts,%Epilogue%%
• %%
WHEN*ARE*WE*“OFFICIAL”?*
In%other%words,%when%does%the%worship%hall%reservation%at%CHBC%turn%“officially”%from%pencil%to%pen%
(i.e.,%from%tentative%to%permanent)%and%when%can%we%send%out%public%announcements%(i.e.,%mail%your%
invitations%and%list%things%in%the%church%newsletter)?%From%the%staff’s%perspective,%you%are%official%
only%after%you%have%finished%your%four%premarital%counseling%sessions.%This%means%the%sooner%you%
get%your%premarital%counseling%done,%the%sooner%the%pastor%can%“sign%off”%on%your%use%of%the%worship%
hall%and%the%mailing%of%your%invitations.%
HOW*DO*WE*START?*
• Call%the%pastor%and%set%up%your%first%premarital%counseling%session.%%
• Finish%the%marriage%preparation%inventory%(which%should%be%located%just%behind%this%
introduction)%and%drop%it%off%for%the%pastor%about%a%week%before%you%start%counseling.%This%is%
the%most%important%thing%to%do%before%your%first%meeting.%
• Do%the%Scripture%study,%readings,%sermon%listening,%and%exercises%for%each%session,%before%
the%session.%%
%
A"Marriage"Preparation"Inventory"
This%questionnaire%is%designed%to%help%identify%strengths%and%potential%trouble5spots%in%your%
relationship.%Most%of%the%questions%have%no%“right”%answers.%The%important%thing%is%for%you%to%state%
clearly%your%perceptions%in%each%case.%%
Instructions:%(1)%Fill%out%your%individual%questionnaire.%Do%not"talk%to%each%other%about%your%
answers%until%after%you%have%each%filled%out%your%own%questionnaire.%%(2)%After%you%have%each%
finished%your%individual%questionnaires,%be%sure%to%talk%through%the%inventory%together%before"you"
come"for"your"first"session.%The%pastor%conducting%your%pre5marital%counseling%is%the%only%other%
person%who%will%read%your%responses.%%(3)%Don’t%forget%to%turn%it%in%to%your%pastor%about%a%week%
before%your%first%premarital%session.%
A."GENERAL"INFORMATION""
Your%name%__________________________________________________%Birth%date%_________________________%Age%_______%
Local%Address%_______________________________________________________%%Email:%_________________________________%
Home%Phone%____________________%%Cell%Phone%______________________Work%Phone%____________________________%
Occupation%_____________________________________%%Schooling%Completed%______________________________________%
Wedding%Date%and%Location%__________________________________%%Presiding%Minister%_________________________%
How%long%have%you%been%a%member%of%CHBC?%______________________________________________________________%
If%not%a%member,%where%do%you%go%to%church%(name%and%location)?%_______________________________________%
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
Brief%summary%of%circumstances%for%meeting%and%dating%__________________________________________________%
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
Why%are%you%excited%to%marry%your%fiancé(e)?%_____________________________________________________________%
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
B."GENDER"ROLES"IN"MARRIAGE"
%%%%%%%1.%%What%does%biblical%leadership%and%submission%look%like%in%a%marriage?%__________________________%
%%%%%%%______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%%%2.%%In%what%ways%were%your%parents%a%good%or%poor%example%of%biblical%leadership%and%%%%%
%%%%%%%submission%in%a%marriage?%_______________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%%%______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
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"
3.#For#the#man:%What%are%your%fears,%struggles,%or%concerns%in%learning%to%lead%your%future%wife?%
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
4.%%For#the#woman:%What%are%your%fears,%struggles,%or%concerns%in%learning%to%submit%to%your%
future%husband?%__________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%%%______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
C."THE"IMPACT"OF"THE"SIN,"IDOLATRY"AND"STRESS""
1. What%sins%characterize%you?%%List%a%few_____________________________________________________________%
2. Pick%one%sin%that%has%been%harmful%for%your%relationship%with%your%fiancé(e).%Describe%why%it%
has%hurt%the%relationship;%what%you%need%to%do%to%change%this%pattern;%and,%how%your%
fiancé(e)%can%help.%___________________________________________________________________________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
3. Pick%a%sin%that%has%ruined,%worsened%or%compromised%a%particular%season%of%your%life%(either%
previously%or%currently)?%____________________________________________________________________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
4. What%are%your%idols%or%false%gods?%What%do%you%do%with%these%idols?%___________________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
5. Check%off%any%of%these%struggles,%sickness%or%sins%that%you%have%experienced%in%the%past%or%
continue%to%wrestle%with%in%the%present…%
%
Abortion% % % _____%% % % Pornography% % % _____%
Abuse% % % _____%% % % Obsessive%Compulsive%%% _____%
ADD/ADHD% % _____%% % % Panic%Attacks% % % _____%
Adultery% % % _____%% % % Rape% % % % _____%
Alcohol%Overuse% % _____%% % % Same%Sex%Attraction% % _____%
Anger%or%Aggression% _____%% % % Self5Harm%% % % _____%
Anxiety% % % _____%% % % Sexual%Dysfunction% % _____%
Attention/Concentration% _____%% % % Sexual%Immorality% % _____%
Cancer% % % _____%% % % Sleeplessness% % % _____%
Chronic%Physical%Pain% _____%% % % Suicidal%thoughts/attempts% _____%
Depression%% % _____%% % % %%
Divorce% % % _____%% % % %%
Eating%Disorder% % _____%% % % %%
Drug%Addiction% % _____%
Financial%Problems/Debt% _____%
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6. How%do%you%react%to%stress?%Which%sins%come%out%when%you%are%stressed?%_____________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
7. Where%do%you%find%refuge/safety/comfort/security%when%you%are%stressed?%%__________________%
________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
8. How%would%you%like%your%fiancé(e)%to%help%you%fight%stress?%%_____________________________________%
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
D."YOUR"FAMILY"BACKGROUNDS"(Leaving"and"Cleaving)"
1.%%%%How%long%have%you%known%your%fiancé(e)?%____________%When%did%you%become%convinced%that%
you%wanted%to%be%married?%(approximate%date)%_______________________________________________________%
2. Indicate%your%parents’%attitude%toward%your%fiancé(e):%Total%acceptance%_________%
Acceptance%with%reservations%__________%%Disapproval%__________%
3. How%do%you%perceive%your%prospective%in5laws’%attitude%toward%you:%%
Total%acceptance%_________%%%%%%%%%%Acceptance%with%reservations%__________%%%
Disapproval%__________%
4. %Compare%your%family%backgrounds:%%%%%%%% % Yours% % %%%%Fiancé(e)’s%
Parents%living?%(if%not,%date%of%death)% % ___________% %%%%___________%
Parents%living%together?%(if%not,%date%of%sep.)% ___________% %%%%___________%
Number%and%gender%of%siblings%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%___________% %%%%___________%
Home%town% % % % % ___________% %%%%___________%
Father’s%occupation% % % % ___________% %%%%___________%
Mother’s%occupation% % % % ___________% %%%%___________%
Family’s%socio5economic%level% % % ___________% %%%%___________%
Family’s%church%affiliation% % % ___________% %%%%___________%
Degree%of%their%church%involvement% % ___________% %%%%___________%
Depth%of%their%Christian%commitment% % ___________% %%%%___________%
Their%political%party%affiliation% % % ___________% %%%%___________%
Hereditary%health%problems?% % % ___________% %%%%___________%
5. In%what%ways%are%you%alike%or%different%from%your%father%or%mother?%How%will%you%
consciously%work%to%be%different%from%them?%%
Father:%_________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%% Mother:%________________________________________________________________________________________________%
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6.%%Have%you%been%married%before?_________%To%whom%were%you%married?%___________________________%
7.%%Have%you%been%in%any%other%relationship%that%you%thought%would%lead%to%marriage?%____________%
If%so,%what%happened?%%____________________________________________________________________________________%
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
8.%%Describe%the%marriage%you%have%observed%which%you%most%want%yours%to%resemble:%%
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
9.%%List%the%strengths%of%your%parents’%marriage%that%you%most%want%to%experience%in%your%own.%
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
10. What%weaknesses%in%your%parents’%marriage%do%you%wish%to%avoid?%____________________________%
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
E.""PERSONALITY"AND"TEMPERAMENT"(How"did"God"make"you?"What"do"you"like?)"
1.%Indicate%which%of%you%tends%more%(in%relation%to%the%other)%to%be:%(mark%“M”%for%the%man%and%“W”%
for%the%woman;%“B”%for%both;%“N”%for%no%one)"
The%extrovert% % _____% The%home5body% % _____%

The%introvert% % _____% The%party5person% % _____%
The%talker% % % _____% Neater% % % _____%
The%listener% % _____% Messier% % % _____%
The%thinker% % _____% More%ambitious% % _____%
The%doer% % % _____% More%complacent% % _____%
The%planner% % _____% More%punctual% % _____%
The%procrastinator%% _____% More%tardy%% % _____%
The%pouter%% % _____% More%easy5going% % _____%
The%shouter% % _____% More%quick5tempered% _____%
The%optimist% % _____% More%impulsive% % _____%
The%pessimist% % _____% More%cautious% % _____%
The%night%person% % _____% More%spontaneous%_____%
The%morning%person% _____% More%organized% % _____%
The%spender% % _____% More%manipulative%% _____%
The%saver% % % _____% More%compliant% % _____%
The%leader% % % _____% More%analytical% % _____%
The%follower% % _____% More%emotional% % _____%
The%helper%% % _____% More%happy% % _____%
The%artist% % % _____% More%depressed% % _____%
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%
2.%List%some%of%your%fiancé(e)’s%characteristics%which%are%most%attractive%to%you:%%
%%%_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
3.%List%some%of%your%fiancé(e)’s%traits,%habits%or%mannerisms%do%you%at%least%occasionally%find%%%
%%%irritating?%____________________________________________________________________________________________________%
4.%In%which%areas%would%you%like%your%fiancé(e)%to%help%you%improve%yourself?%_______________________%
%%%_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
5.%In%which%areas%would%you%like%to%help%your%fiancé(e)%improve?%______________________________________%
%%%_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
6.%On%the%lines%below,%indicate%the%relative%levels%of%maturity%which%you%think%you%and%your%%
%%%fiancé(e)%have%reached%respectively%as%compared%with%your%age%group%(On%each%line%place%an%%
%%%“M”%for%the%man%and%a%“W”%for%the%woman%at%the%appropriate%spot)%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Immature%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% % % % % %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Mature%
Emotionally%___________________________________________________________________________________________________%
Intellectually%__________________________________________________________________________________________________%
Socially%%%%%%%_____________________________________________________________________________________________________%
Spiritually%%%____________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%
7.%Name%a%few%significant%life%events%(good%and%bad)%that%have%significantly%shaped%you?%
%%%_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%
F."YOUR"COMMUNICATION"
1.%Are%you%an:%
______%External%processor%(you%tend%to%verbalize%things%before%you%think%them%through)%
______%Internal%processor%(you%tend%to%think%things%through%before%you%verbalize%them)%
2.%What%are%the%key%components%to%an%apology?____________________________________________________________%
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3.%Are%you%quick%or%slow%to%apologize?%If%slow,%why?_______________________________________________________%
4.%Indicate%how%each%of%you%tends%to%express%the%following%feelings.%%On%each%line%place%an%%
%%%“M”%for%the%man%and%a%“W”%for%the%woman%at%the%appropriate%spot.%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Internalize%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Internalize,%then%verbalize%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Verbalize%Quickly%
Anger%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%______________________________________________________________________________________________%
Disappointment%%%______________________________________________________________________________________________%
Frustration%%%%%%%%%%%%______________________________________________________________________________________________%
Guilt%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________%
Joy%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%1%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%2% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%3% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%4% % %%%5%
5.%What%do%you%usually%fight%about%and%when%do%you%usually%fight?%______________________________________%
%%%%%%%______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
6.%How%do%you%try%to%resolve%conflict%with%your%fiancé(e)?%________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
7.%List%one%or%two%communication%struggles%that%have%been%harmful%for%your%relationship%with%your%
fiancé(e).%Describe%why%it%has%hurt%the%relationship;%what%you%need%to%do%to%change%this%pattern;%
and,%how%your%fiancé(e)%can%help.%_________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
8.%List%one%or%two%of%your%fiancé(e)’s%greatest%communication%strengths%and%list%them%here.%Explain%
briefly%why%you%picked%them.%_____________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
G."YOUR"RELATIONSHIP"
1.%List%the%most%significant%interests%you%share%in%common.%_____________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
6"
"
2.%Which%books%on%marriage%have%you%read?%______________________________________________________________%
3.%What%are%some%of%the%relational%strengths%that%you%can%bring%to%the%marriage?%_____________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
4.%What%do%you%consider%to%be%your%weaknesses%as%a%prospective%marriage%partner?%__________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
5.%State%honestly%any%fears,%concerns,%or%apprehensions%you%feel%about%your%anticipated%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%marriage.%_____________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
6.%How%do%you%intend%to%deal%with%these%concerns?%________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
7.%What%are%some%matters%about%which%the%two%of%you%have%different%opinions?%________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
8.%Are%there%any%areas%in%which%you%are%struggling%to%trust%your%fiancé(e)?%_____________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
H."YOUR"SEXUALITY"
%%%1.%Are%you%a%virgin?%____________%
%%%2.%If%you%are%not%a%virgin,%how%would%you%describe%your%previous%sexual%experiences?%%
%%%%%Numerous%____%Rare%_____%%Destructive%_____%Abusive%________%(other)%____________%
%%3.%Do%you%sometimes%feel%guilty%about%the%sexual%involvement%you%have%had%with%your%%
%%fiancé(e)?%_____________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%4.%What%are%you%doing%to%protect%yourself%from%sexual%temptation?%_____________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
I."YOUR"FAITH"
%%%1.%Describe%your%relationship%with%God:%___________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
7"
"
2.%In%what%ways%do%you%struggle%to%trust,%follow,%love%God?%______________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%3.%What%are%the%main%influences%that%have%shaped%your%relationship%with%God?%______________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%4.%How%does%your%expression%of%your%faith%differ%from%that%of%your%fiancé(e)?%________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%5.%As%you%see%it,%how%does%a%Christian%marriage%differ%from%any%other?%_________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%6.%How%do%you%expect%to%cultivate%your%faith%together%after%you%are%married?%_________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%7.%After%marriage,%where%do%you%plan%to%go%to%church?%Will%this%church%be%a%good%place%for%you%%
%%%both%to%grow%spiritually?%___________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
J."YOUR"FINANCES"
1.%Which%of%you%has%had%more%experience%in%managing%finances?%______________________________________%
2.%Who%will%manage%your%family%finances?%________________________________________________________________%
3.%Do%you%have%a%tentative%budget?%_________________________________________________________________________%
4.%Will%the%wife%be%employed%after%you%are%married?%_______%If%so,%are%the%reasons%primarily%%
%%%financial______%or%commitment%to%a%career%________?%
5.%After%marriage,%do%you%plan%to%merge%your%bank%accounts?%___________________________________________%
6.%If%you%answer%“no”%to%question%#5,%then%please%explain:%______________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
7.%Do%you%have%any%concern%in%how%your%fiancé(e)%handles%his/her%finances?%If%so,%explain.%%%%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
8"
"
8.%In%which%of%the%areas%above%would%you%say%that%your%fiancé(e)%might%spend%money%%
%%%%frivolously?%_________________________________________________________________________________________________%
9.%In%which%areas%do%you%think%he/she%might%be%too%frugal?%_____________________________________________%
10.%%Indicate%relative%inclinations%to%spend%money%in%the%following%areas%(“M”%for%man,%“W”%for%%%%%
%%%woman%at%the%appropriate%spot).%
% % % % Least%Likely% % % % Most%Likely%
New%clothes% % % ___________________________________________________________%
Hobbies,%recreation% % ___________________________________________________________%
Automobile% % % ___________________________________________________________%
Books,%magazines% % ___________________________________________________________%
Movies,%concerts% % ___________________________________________________________%
Music%equipment,%CDs% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%___________________________________________________________%
Home%furnishings% % ___________________________________________________________%
Groceries% % % ___________________________________________________________%
Eating%out% % % ___________________________________________________________%
Entertaining%guests% % ___________________________________________________________%
Gifts%for%spouse% % ___________________________________________________________%
Gifts%for%others%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%___________________________________________________________%
Vacations% % % ___________________________________________________________%
"
K."FUTURE"(Children,"Birth"Control,"Spiritual"Growth,"Forgiveness,"Divorce)"
1.%If%both%plan%careers,%whose%job%determines%where%you%will%live?%_____________________________________%
2.%How%soon%would%you%like%to%have%children?%_______________%%How%many?%____________%
3.%What%form%of%birth%control%do%you%expect%to%use?%______________________________________________________%
4.%If%an%“accidental”%pregnancy%occurred,%would%you%consider%an%abortion?%________%Does%%
%%%your%fiancé(e)%share%your%feeling%about%this?%_____________________________________________________________%
5.%If%you%should%be%unable%to%have%your%own,%would%you%adopt%a%child?%__________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
9"
"
6.%How%can%you%help%your%spouse%to%grow%spiritually?_____________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
7.%What%would%you%like%for%him/her%to%say%in%answer%to%the%previous%question?%______________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
8.%What%do%you%intend%to%do%to%stay%in%love?%_____________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
%%%%________________________________________________________________________________________________________________%
9.%Have%you%ever%struggled%with%forgiving%someone?%If%so,%give%an%example:%_________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
10.%If%your%answer%to%#9%was%“yes,”%how%can%you%prevent%this%from%ever%happening%with%your%%
%%%fiancé(e)?%_____________________________________________________________________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
11.%What%circumstances,%as%you%see%it%now,%would%lead%you%to%seek%a%divorce?%________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
12.%If%you%specified%a%circumstance%in%#11,%what%will%you%do%to%prevent%it?%____________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
13.%In%regards%to%the%future,%what%do%you%tend%to%worry%about?%_________________________________________%
%%%%%_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________%%
10"
"
Premarital)Counseling)
Session)1:))A)Theology)of)Marriage))
)
)
Instructions:))Be#sure#to#finish#the#Scripture#study,#readings,#
and#exercises#before#Session#1.####Also,#be#sure#to#turn#in#the#
premarital#inventory#to#the#pastor#at#least#a#day#or#two#before#
your#first#session.###
)
)
)
Key)Ideas)
)
1. As#image>bearers,#men#and#women#have#equal#dignity#and#value#
in#God’s#eyes.##
)
2. Men#and#women#were#created#with#different#roles.####
)
3. A#husband#and#wife#are#called#to#leave#their#family#of#origin#and#to#
cleave#to#their#new#spouse.###The#two#become#“one#flesh.”#
)
4. The#relationship#between#Christ#and#the#church#models#for#
husbands#and#wives#how#they#are#to#relate#to#one#another.##
#
Scripture)Study)Guide)for)a)Biblical)Theology)of)Marriage)
)
Instructions:##Read#Gen#1:26>28;#2:#15>25;#3:1>24;#Eph#5:21>33.##Below#you#will#find#a#
list#of#verses#and#questions#that#help#you#think#about#the#text.##For#each#verse,#
explain#briefly#what#the#verse#means#and#how#it#applies#to#marriage.###(Note#that#I’ve#
only#included#a#few#lines#to#write#on#because#I#want#you#to#be#brief!)####
#
Gen#1:26>28#
.
Questions:..What#is#an#image>bearer?#Why#is#it#important#that#man#and#woman#are#
made#in#the#image#of#God?##What#role#did#God#assign#man#and#woman#in#creation#
(hint:#v.#26#“dominion”#or#“rule#over”)?##What’s#the#relationship#between#“being#
fruitful#in#number”#and#“ruling#over”?##
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
Application.to.marriage:.___________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
Gen#2:15#
.
Questions:..Before#woman#is#on#the#scene,#what#role#did#God#give#to#man?##
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
Gen#2:18#
.
Questions:..Why#does#God#say#it#is#not#good#for#man#to#be#alone?##What#does#it#mean#
to#be#a#“suitable#helper”?##
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
Gen#2:24#
.
Questions:..Why#does#God#command#man#to#leave#his#family#of#origin#and#be#united#
to#his#wife?###What#does#“one#flesh”#mean?##
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
Gen#3:16#
.
Questions:..How#did#the#curse#change#the#way#the#woman#relates#to#her#husband#and#
the#way#the#husband#relates#to#his#wife?###
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
Eph#5:21>33#
# .
Questions:..What#is#Paul#trying#to#teach#us#through#v.#21?..Why#should#wives#submit#
to#their#husbands#(vs.#22>24)?##How#does#Paul#describe#the#wife’s#relationship#to#her#
husband#(vs.#22>24,#33)?##What#can#a#wife#learn#from#the#church’s#submission#to#
Christ?##How#does#Paul#describe#a#husband’s#relationship#to#his#wife#(vs.#25>32)?#
What#can#husbands#learn#from#Christ’s#love#and#life>giving#sacrifice#for#the#church#
(vs.#25>27)?####
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
Exercises)for)a)Biblical)Theology)of)Marriage)(Session)1))
#
#
Part)1.))Questions)about)Leaving)our)Family)of)Origin))
#
1. In#what#ways#do#you#still#“cleave”#to#your#parents#(Gen#2:24)?###How#do#these#
things#need#to#change#before#you#get#married?###(For#example,#are#their#ways#
that#you#still#relying#on#your#parents#for#financial#provision?##How#should#
that#change?##Or#do#you#still#rely#on#them#primarily#for#advice?###How#would#
that#change#in#marriage?)#
#
#
#
#
2. Who#in#your#extended#family#is#going#to#struggle#with#your#transition#into#
marriage?##What#issues#might#arise#as#you#get#married?##Will#one#of#your#
parents,#siblings,#grandparents,#etc.#have#a#hard#time#adjusting?###What#
adjustments#need#to#be#made?#(For#example,#is#their#a#strong>willed#father#or#
mother#or#sibling#who#will#cling#to#you?##Demand#your#time?##Tell#you#what#
to#do#in#marriage?##Try#to#turn#to#you#for#help?##Expect#you#to#be#heavily#
involved#in#their#life?)###
#
#
#
#
3. After#you#get#married,#what#are#your#expectations#for#your#relationship#with#
your#in>laws?##What#are#your#fiancé’s#expectations?##
#
#
#
#
#
4. After#you#get#married,#what#are#your#expectations#for#your#relationship#with#
your#parents?##What#are#your#fiancé’s#expectations?##
#
#
#
#
5. What#rules,#traditions,#events,#or#other#things#are#important#to#your#family?#
How#do#you#and#your#fiancé#plan#to#be#(or#not#to#be)#involved#in#these#
things?###
#
#
)
Part)2.))Meditating)on)Your)Vows)
)
Here#is#your#chance#to#consider#your#wedding#vows.##Write#a#sentence#or#two#
explaining#what#each#statement#means.##Then#talk#it#over#with#your#fiancé.##
Exchange)of)Vows)
I,#______,#take#you,#_______,#to#be#my#wedded#husband/wife,##
#
!!
!
#
to#have#and#to#hold#from#this#day#forward,#
#
#
#
#
for#better#for#worse,##
#
#
#
#
for#richer#for#poorer,#
#
#
#
#
in#sickness#and#in#health,##
#
#
#
#
(the#man’s#vow)##to#lead,#love,#and#to#cherish,###
(the#woman’s#vow)#to#love,#cherish,#and#to#obey,####
#
#
#
#
till#death#us#do#part,##
#
#
#
#
according#to#God’s#holy#ordinance;##
#
#
#
#
and#thereto#I#pledge#you#myself.#
# # #
)
Exchange)of)Rings)
With#this#ring#I#thee#wed,##
#
#
#
#
and#with#all#my#worldly#goods#I#thee#endow,##
#
#
#
#
in#the#name#of#the#Father,#and#of#the#Son#and#of#the#Holy#Spirit.##Amen.#
)
)
)
Part.))3)#Your)Strengths)&)Sins)and)Your)Future)Marriage#
#
Pursue#the#list#of#people#below#and#ask#them#four#questions.####
(1)#What#do#strengths.do#I#bring#into#the#marriage?##
(2)#What#do#you#think#will#be#some#good.things.about#being#married#to#me?##
(3)#What#are#my#primary.sins.or.weaknesses.that#my#spouse#needs#to#be#aware#of?###
(4)#What#do#you#think#will#be#the#hardest.part.about#being#married#to#me?###
(5)#What#advice#would#you#give#my#fiancé#based#on#your#answers#to#the#first#four#
questions?##
#
Pick#two#or#three#of#the#people#listed#below##
#
Ask#one#or#both#of#your)parents)
)
Their#Answers:_______________________________________________________________________________)
)
)
)
)
Ask#a#close)friend)who#knows#you#really#well)
)
His#or#Her#Answers:__________________________________________________________________________)
)
)
)
)
Ask#a#pastor)or)elder)in)your)church)#or#someone#who#has#discipled#you)
)
His#Answers:__________________________________________________________________________________)
)
)
)
)
Ask#a#current#or#former#mentor)who#knows#you#really#well)
)
His#or#Her#Answers:__________________________________________________________________________)
)
)
)
)
)
)
Sermons)
)
Try#to#listen#to#at#least#one#sermon#from#this#page.##
)
From#CHBC#audio#(www.capitolhillbaptist.org):#
• Mark#Dever#>#Gender#Roles#in#the#Family#–#Genesis#2:20>24###
• Mark#Dever#>#Gender#Identity#in#Redemption#–#Galatians#3:28###
• Mark#Dever#>#Gender#Identity#in#Creation#–#Genesis#1:27###
#
From#Desiring#God#(www.desiringgod.org):##
• John#Piper#>#The#Beautiful#Faith#of#Fearless#Submission#–#1#Peter#
3:1>7#
• John#Piper#>#Lionhearted#and#Lamblike:#The#Christian#Husband#as#
Head#–#Eph#5:21>33#(pt#1#and#2)#
• John#Piper#>#Marriage:##Pursuing#Conformity#to#Christ#in#the#
Covenant#–#Eph#5:21>33#
• John#Piper#>#Staying#Married#is#not#about#Staying#in#Love#–#Gen#
2:18>25#(pt#1#and#2)#
)
)
Readings)
)
The#Ricucci’s#Love.that.Lasts:#Ch.#1>3#
)
#
An)Optional)Reading)and)Companion)Exercise)about)the)Gospel)
)
Buy!a!copy!of!Greg!Gilbert’s!What#is#the#Gospel?!and!his!Who#is#Jesus?##The!guy!should!
read!one!of!these!books!and!the!gal!should!read!the!other.!!Then!share!with!each!other:!
!
(1) What!were!the!most!helpful!parts!of!the!book!for!you?!!Read!to!your!fiancée!your!
favorite!lines!and!quotes!from!the!book.!!
(2) Talk!with!each!other!about!your!daily!dependence!on!Jesus!and!the!gospel.!!Where!does!
it!give!you!hope?!How!does!it!sustain!you?!How!does!it!or!can!it!breath!life!into!your!
struggles?!!
(3) Pray!for!each!other!and!for!your!personal!relationship!with!the!Living!Christ!!
Session)2:))A)Theology)of)Communication)
)
)
and#exercises#before#Session#2.#####
)
#
#
Key)Ideas)
)
1. #The#goal#of#marital#communication#is#
a. spiritual#growth#–#to#use#your#words#to#help#your#spouse#
look#more#like#Christ.##
b. union#in#marriage–#to#achieve#a#oneness#of#understanding.##
c. responsible,#loving,#careful#speech#–#to#use#our#words#to#
build#up#and#not#to#tear#each#other#down.###
#
)
2. Our#Model#for#communication#is#the#incarnation#–#the#Son#of#God#
took#on#flesh#and#entered#into#our#experience.##He#was#tempted#
like#we#were#tempted,#etc.##Just#like#Christ,#a#husband#and#wife’s#
call#is#to#use#words#to#enter#into#their#spouse’s#experience#and#to#
understand#their#spouse.#
Scripture)Study)Guide)for)Biblical)Communication)
)
Instructions:##Read#Matt#12:22J37;#Eph#4:17J32;#James#3:1J18;#4:1J10.##Below#you#
will#find#a#list#of#verses#and#questions#that#help#you#think#about#the#text.##For#each#
verse,#explain#briefly#what#the#verse#means#and#how#it#applies#to#marriage.###(Note#
that#I’ve#only#included#a#few#lines#to#write#on#because#I#want#you#to#be#brief!)####
#
#
Matt#12:22J37#(focus#on#vs.#33J37)#
.
Questions:..How#do#you#recognize#a#tree#(v.#33)?#If#the#good#and#bad#trees#are#meant#
to#be#a#word#picture#for#human#beings,#what#does#the#“fruit”#represent?#What#is#the#
connection#between#the#heart#and#the#mouth#(v.#34)?##What’s#the#relationship#of#
your#“empty”#or#“careless”#words#and#God’s#judgment#(vs.#36J37)?####
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
#
Eph#4:29#
.
Questions:..What#should#not.come#out#of#your#mouth?##What#should#come#out#of#your#
mouth?#What#is#meant#by#the#phrase#“according#to#their#needs”#(NIV)#or#“as#fits#the#
occasion”#(ESV)?####
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
#
James#3:1J18#
.
Questions:..James#gives#several#word#pictures—bits#in#horses’#mouths;#small#rudders#
for#ships;#and#a#fire#(vs.#3J6).##Explain#what#each#of#these#word#pictures#mean#in#
regards#to#the#tongue.##Who#can#tame#the#tongue#(vs.#7J8)?##James#creates#contrasts#
in#vs.#9#–#12#(praise#and#cursing;#fresh#and#salt#water#flowing#from#the#same#spring;#
etc.).#What’s#the#point#of#these#contrasts?###
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
James#4:1J10#
.
Questions:..Where#do#fights#and#quarrels#come#from?##Why#does#James#call#his#
readers#“adulterous”#(vs.#4)?##What#attitude/posture#will#transform#the#way#you#
communicate#(vs.#6J7,#10)?##
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
Exercises)for)Biblical)Communication)
)
Part)1.)))Below)you)will)find)a)list)of)proverbs)that)deal)with)communication.)))
#
Prov#10#vs.#8,#10,#11,#14,#18,#19,#21,#31,#32.##
Prov#11#vs.#9,#11,#12,#16,#17.##
Prov#12#vs.#6,#13#–#19,#22,#25.##
Prov#13#vs.#2J3#
Prov#14#vs.#3,#5,#7,#9J10,#17,#25,#29.##
Prov#15#vs#1J2,#4,#7,#12,#18.##
Prov#16#vs.#5,#13,#18,#19,#21,#23,#24,#28,#32.##
Prov#17#vs.#7,#9#–10,#14,#19,#20,#27,#28.##
Prov#18#vs.#2,#4,#6J8,#13,#15.##
Prov#19#vs.#11.#
Prov#20#vs.#3.#
Prov#21#vs.#9,#19,#23,#24.#
Prov#22#vs.#10,#11,#24,#25.#
Prov#23#vs.#9.#
Prov#24#vs.#17,#26.#
Prov#25#vs.#11,#12,#14,#15.#
Prov#26#vs.#4,#5,#21,#24,#25,#26,#28.#
Prov#27#vs.#2,#5,#14,#15,#19.#
Prov#28#vs.#23,#26.#
Prov#29#vs.#1,#8,#11,#19,#20,#22.#
#
Instructions:..Read#through#the#proverbs#listed#above.##Pick#three#proverbs#that#in#
some#way#reflect#your#communication#struggles.##Explain#how#each#proverb#
describes#your#relationship.##
#1.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
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_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#2.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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#3.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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#
Instructions:..Refer#again#to#the#proverbs#listed#above.##Pick#three#proverbs#that#in#
some#way#reflect#your#communication#strengths.##Explain#how#each#proverb#
describes#your#relationship.##
#1.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#2.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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#
#3.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
Instructions:..Refer#again#to#the#proverbs#listed#above.##Pick#three#proverbs#that#in#
some#way#reflect#communication#skills#that#you#(do#not#yet#but)#hope#to#one#day#
reflect.##Explain#why.you#picked#each#proverb#and#explain#its#relevance#to#your.
relationship.##
#1.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#2.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
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#3.##Proverbs#____:______#
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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#
Part)2.))Working)through)Conflict))
#
With#your#fiancé,#choose#either#a#problem#that#is#unresolved#or#something#that#was#
recently#resolved.#If#you#put#things#on#a#scale#of#1#(superficial#problem)#to#10#(very,#
very#sensitive),#pick#something#between#5#and#7.#Be#prepared#to#talk#about#the#fight#
with#the#pastor,#but#work#through#the#questions#below#before#you#come#in.##
#
1. What#was#the#problem/conflict/fight?###
#
#
#
#
2. What#was#each#of#you#coveting,#desiring,#hoping#for?##
#
#
#
#
#
3. At#what#point#did#you#get#disappointed/annoyed/frustrated/angry#with#your#
fiancé?###And,#why#did#you#get#disappointed/annoyed/frustrated/angry#with#
your#fiancé?####
#
#
#
#
4. Did#you#really#understand#your#fiancé’s#perspective?##Ask#him/her#if#he#or#
she#feels#like#you#understood#him/her?#
#
#
#
#
5. What#are#your#typical#rules#of#engagement#in#a#fight?##If#you#don’t#have#any,#
what#should#they#be?##
#
#
#
#
6. What#sins#do#you#need#to#own#up#to#and#confess#to#God#and#your#fiancé?##
(Take#some#time#to#do#that#now…)#
)
)
)
Sermons)
)
)
• Paul#Tripp#–#War#of#Words:##Getting#to#the#Heart#for#God’s#Sake#–#
Desiring#God#National#Conference#(2008)#
)
)
• Zach#Schlegel#–#God’s#Wisdom#for#our#Words#–#Proverbs#(2014)###
)
)
Readings)
)
&)
The#Ricucci’s#Love.that.Lasts:##Ch.#4J6#
#
&)
#
An Optional Reading and Companion Exercise

about Fighting and Conflicts
If you want to get better equipped at handling conflict consider:
1. Reading Ken Sande’s Resolving Everyday Conflict

2. Talking with a wise, older, godly couple about your conflict patterns. Ask
them to hold you accountable and to pray for you.
3. If you don’t fight much (yet) then meet with an older, godly couple and ask
them to explain how they learned to handle conflict.
Session)3:))A)Theology)of)Sexuality)
)
)
Instructions:))Be#sure#to#finish#the#Scripture#study,#
exercises,#sermons,#and#readings#before#Session#3.#####
)
)
)#
#
)
Key)Ideas)
)
1. #Physical#attraction#and#physical#intimacy#are#a#gift#from#God#and#
a#blessing#to#be#enjoyed#in#marriage.###
#
2. A#healthy#biblical#sexuality#involves#physical,#emotional,#relational#
and#spiritual#intimacy.##It’s#a#package#that#can’t#be#bifurcated.####
)
3. A#couple’s#sex#life#is#the#picture/sign#of#the#emotional,#relational,#
and#spiritual#state#of#the#marital#union.##
)
#
)
#
Scripture)Study)Guide)for)a)Biblical)Sexuality)
)
Instructions:##Read#Song#of#Solomon#1G#8;#1#Peter#3:1G7;#1#Cor#6:12G20;#7:1G7.##Below#
you#will#find#a#list#of#verses#and#questions#that#help#you#think#about#the#text.##For#
each#verse,#explain#briefly#what#the#verse#means#and#how#it#applies#to#marriage.###
(Note#that#I’ve#only#included#a#few#lines#to#write#on#because#I#want#you#to#be#brief!)####
#
Song#of#Solomon#1G#8#
.
Questions:..What#do#you#learn#physical#attraction,#physical#love#and#relational#
intimacy#by#reading#to#the#dialogue#between#the#lover#and#the#beloved?####
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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.
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#
1#Peter#3:1G7#
.
Questions:..How#is#true#beauty#expressed#in#this#passage?##What#is#most#“precious”#
or#“worthy”#to#God#(v.#4)?##Contrast#the#two#kinds#of#adornmentGGGthe#first#in#v.#3#
and#the#other#in#v.#5?##What’s#the#connection#between#hope#and#beauty#(“adorn#
themselves”)#and#submission#(v.#5)?###
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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.
#
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#
#
#
#
1#Cor#6:12G20#
# .
Questions:.There#are#two#kinds#of#union#in#vs.#15G17.##What#are#these#two#unions#and#
why#are#they#significant?#Why#does#Paul#bring#up#the#“one#flesh”#principle#(1#Cor#6:#
16;#Gen#2:24)#and#how#does#this#relate#to#sex?#Who#“owns”#your#body#(vs.#19G20)?##
What#implication#does#this#“ownership”#have#for#how#you#use#your#body?###
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
#
_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
.
#
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#
1#Cor#7:1G7#
# .
Questions:..#Why#should#each#man#have#a#wife#and#each#wife#have#a#husband#(vs.#2G
3)?##What#does#Paul#mean#by#“conjugal#rights”#or#“marital#duty”#(v.#3)?##What#does#
Paul#mean#by#a#spouse#having#“authority#over”#his#or#her#spouse’s#body#(v.#4)?#What#
implication#does#that#have#for#your#sexual#relationship?##When#can#you#“deprive#
each#other”#of#sex,#and#when#can#you#not#(v.#5)?##
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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_______________________________________________________________________________________________#
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.
#
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#
#
)
Exercises)for)Biblical)Sexuality)
Part.))1.##Every#couple#must#make#decisions#about#what#level#of#discussion#about#sex#
is#appropriate#before#marriage.##Your#conscience#will#be#a#good#guide,#and#both#
partners#should#be#respectful#of#the#other#person’s#conscience.##The#questions#listed#
below#are#intended#to#explore#background#factors#that#can#affect#a#sexual#
relationship#in#marriage.#Remember:#a#loving#relationship—built#on#Christ#and#
characterized#by#sacrifice—is#the#most#important#determinant#in#a#good#sexual#
relationship.###
#
Take#time#to#answer#the#following#statements/questions.##Do#this#individually.##Then#
take#turns#sharing#your#response#to#each#question.##Be#as#open#as#you#are#able#to#be#
at#this#time.####
#
1. Things#I#remember#hearing,#being#taught,#or#have#sensed#about#what#it#
means#to#be#a#man/woman#are#(list#at#least#3):##
#
#
#
#
#
#
2. Things#I#remember#hearing#or#being#taught#about#sexual#intimacy#are#(list#at#
least#3):##
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
3. What#connections#do#I#see#between#the#above#two#lists#and#my#attitude#
toward#sexual#intercourse#and#my#attitude#toward#my#sexuality?##
#
#
#
#
#
4. Were#you#ever#physically#abused#or#raped?##If#so,#have#you#sought#counsel#to#
help#you#work#through#the#past#trauma?##Are#you#fearful#about#how#this#
might#affect#your#sexual#relationship#with#your#fiancé?##
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
5. Do#you#struggle#with#pornography?##If#you#currently#struggling#(or#have#
struggled#in#the#recent#past),#do#you#have#weekly#accountability#with#another#
person?##(Warning:##Don’t#tell#your#fiancé#the#details#about#your#past#
struggles.##If#you#share#anything#about#your#past,#speak#more#generally.##The#
details#won’t#help#him#or#her#at#all.)###
)
)
#
#
6. A#fear#or#hesitation#I#have#about#sex#is…..#
#
#
#
#
#
7. One#of#the#things#I#find#most#attractive#about#you#is…..#
#
#
#
#
#
8. Because#of#God’s#love#for#us,#sexual#intimacy….#
#
#
#
#
#
9. Because#God#gives#sex#as#a#pleasurable#gift#for#couples#to#enjoy,#we…..#
#
#
#
#
#
#
!
!
!
Part.)2))Interview)with)a)Married)Friend)))
#
You#are#encouraged#to#find#a#married#friend#of#the#same#gender#who#you#can#ask#
questions#in#preparation#for#your#marriage.##We#particularly#want#you#to#talk#about#
sex#(questions)in)bold)below),#but#we#figured#since#you#are#making#the#effort#to#
find#someone,#you#might#as#well#ask#them#about#other#aspects#of#their#marriage.###
You’ll#find#below#suggested#questions.##Please#feel#free#to#ask#lots#of#other#questions#
that#you#have#in#mind.##Since#premarital#counseling#is#done#by#a#pastor#(who#is#a#
male!),#we’ve#found#this#application#exercise#to#be#especially#helpful#for#women#to#
get#perspective#and#guidance#from#a#married#woman#in#our#congregation.##
#
Questions.for.the.Groom.to.Ask.a.Married.Man:##
• Can)I)share)with)you)some)of)my)fears)in)having)sex?)
• What)is)the)key)to)marital)fidelity?)
• What)do)you)feel)are)the)ingredients)for)a)good)sexual)relationship?)
• Is)there)anything)else)you)want)to)share)with)me)about)sex)in)marriage)
that)will)help)me)as)I)prepare)to)be)wed?)
#
If#you#have#time,#ask#some#of#the#following#questions…#
• How#does#your#individual#relationship#with#Christ#affect#your#relationship#
with#your#wife?##
• Do#you#believe#divorce#is#an#option?##What#effect#has#this#belief#had#on#your#
commitment#to#your#wife?##
• On#leaving#and#cleaving:##How#did#you#develop#independence#from#your#
parents?##How#did#your#relationship#with#your#parents#change#after#
marriage?###
• How#would#you#describe#your#responsibility#in#leading#in#the#marriage?##How#
does#your#understanding#of#leadership#in#marriage#compare#or#contrast#with#
Scripture?##
• What#have#been#some#of#your#joys#and#struggles#in#leading#your#wife?##
• What#are#some#examples#of#how#you#love#your#wife#as#Christ#loves#the#
church?##
• What#are#a#few#practical#ways#in#which#you#manage#and#shepherd#your#
family?####
• What#does#family#worship#look#like#in#your#family?##
• How#do#you#and#your#wife#share#responsibility#for#your#children#(i.e.,#care#of#
children,#disciplines,#decisions#about#school,#etc.)?##
• How#do#you#keep#romance#alive#with#your#wife?#
• How#did#your#communication#evolve#from#your#engagement#period#through#
the#first#few#years#of#your#marriage?###
• What#advice#would#you#give#me#as#I#try#to#learn#to#lead#my#wife#in#
communicating?##In#light#of#your#strengths#and#weakness#in#communication,#
what#would#you#tell#me#to#focus#on#or#avoid#in#communicating#with#my#wife?####
• How#do#you#encourage#each#other#to#communicate?##When#do#you#usually#
talk#to#each#other?##
• How#do#you#solve#conflict?###
• Do#you#have#a#budget?##How#did#you#arrive#at#the#budget#you#are#presently#
using?##
• How#do#you#determine#the#major#purchases#to#make?##
• How#have#you#treated#debt#and#credit#card#purchases?##What#advice#would#
you#give#in#this#area?##
• How#have#your#personal#views#affected#your#decisions#in#spending,#giving,#
and#savings?##
• Who#pays#the#bills#and#why?##
• Do#you#pray#together?##
• How#do#you#hold#one#another#accountable?#
• Do#you#ever#study#Scripture#together?#
• Is#there#anything#that#we#have#not#covered#that#has#had#an#impact#on#your#
marriage#that#you#would#like#to#share?#
#
Be.sure.to.thank.the.person.for.taking.the.time.to.talk.with.you.and.ask.them.to.
pray.for.you.and.your.future.wife...It.would.also.be.a.kind.thing.for.you.to.ask.your.
friend.how.you.and.your.fiancé.could.pray.for.their.marriage..
!
Questions.for.the.Bride.to.Ask.a.Married.Woman:##
• Can)I)share)with)you)some)of)my)fears)in)having)sex?)
• What)is)the)key)to)marital)fidelity?)
• What)do)you)feel)are)the)ingredients)for)a)good)sexual)relationship?)
• Is)there)anything)else)you)want)to)share)with)me)about)sex)in)marriage)
that)will)help)me)as)I)prepare)to)be)wed?)
#
If#you#have#time,#ask#some#of#the#following#questions…#
• How#does#your#individual#relationship#with#Christ#affect#your#relationship#
with#your#husband?#)
• Do#you#believe#divorce#is#an#option?##What#effect#has#this#belief#had#on#your#
commitment#to#your#wife?##
• On#leaving#and#cleaving:##How#did#you#develop#independence#from#your#
parents?##How#did#your#relationship#with#your#parents#change#after#
marriage?###
• How#would#you#define#submission?##How#does#your#definition#of#submission#
compare#or#contrast#with#Scripture?###
• How#do#you#work#to#be#a#“suitable#helper”#(cf.#Gen#2:18)#for#your#husband?##
What#have#been#some#of#your#joys#and#struggles#in#following/submitting#to#
your#husband?##
• How#did#you#feel#about#submission#before#you#got#married?##Contrast#that#
with#how#you#feel#about#it#right#now?###
• What#does#family#worship#look#like#in#your#family?##
• How#do#you#and#your#husband#share#responsibility#for#your#children#(i.e.,#
care#of#children,#disciplines,#decisions#about#school,#etc.)?##
• How#do#you#keep#romance#alive#with#your#husband?#
• How#did#your#communication#evolve#from#your#engagement#period#through#
the#first#few#years#of#your#marriage?###
• What#advice#would#you#give#me#as#I#try#to#learn#to#communicate#with#my#
future#husband?##In#light#of#your#strengths#and#weakness#in#communication,#
what#would#you#tell#me#to#focus#on#or#avoid#in#communicating#with#my#
fiancé?####
• How#do#you#encourage#each#other#to#communicate?##When#do#you#usually#
talk#to#each#other?##
• How#do#you#solve#conflict?###
• Do#you#have#a#budget?##How#did#you#arrive#at#the#budget#you#are#presently#
using?##
• How#do#you#determine#the#major#purchases#to#make?##
• How#have#you#treated#debt#and#credit#card#purchases?##What#advice#would#
you#give#in#this#area?##
• How#have#your#personal#views#affected#your#decisions#in#spending,#giving,#
and#savings?##
• Who#pays#the#bills#and#why?##
• Do#you#pray#together?##
• How#do#you#hold#one#another#accountable?#
• Do#you#ever#study#Scripture#together?#
• Is#there#anything#that#we#have#not#covered#that#has#had#an#impact#on#your#
marriage#that#you#would#like#to#share?#
#
Be.sure.to.thank.the.person.for.taking.the.time.to.talk.with.you.and.ask.them.to.
pray.for.you.and.your.future.husband...It.would.also.be.a.kind.thing.for.you.to.ask.
your.friend.how.you.and.your.fiancé.could.pray.for.their.marriage..
)
)
)
Sermons)
)
)
• Mark#Dever#–#Wisdom#of#the#Married#–#The#Message#of#the#Song#of#
Songs###
• Al#Mohler#G##An#Evangelical#Theology#of#Sex#–#Genesis#2##
#
• John#Piper’s#–#Sexual#Relations#within#Marriage#–#Hebrew#13:4G5#
#
#
From#First#Baptist#Grand#Cayman#(www.fbc.org.ky):#
• Thabiti#Anyabwile#–#A#Study#of#the#Song#of#Solomon##
)
)
Readings)
)
!!
Ricucci’s#Love.that.Lasts:#Ch.#7G8#
For#the#Man:#CJ#Mahaney’s#Sex,.Romance,.and.the.Glory.of.God.
#
##
#
#
#
Session)4:))A)Theology)of)Everything)Else))
(Love,)Money,)Forgiveness)and)Children))
)
)
and#exercises#before#Session#4.#####
)
)
)#
#
#
)
Key)Ideas)
)
1. #The#essence#of#marital#love#is#commitment,#not#emotion.##
#
2. Money#is#a#primary#way#to#give#expression#to#what#is#important#to#
you.##
)
3. We#forgive#our#spouse#because#God#has#first#forgiven#us.##
#
4. Children#are#a#blessing#from#the#Lord.##
)
#
Scripture)Study)Guide)for)a)Biblical)Theology)of)Everything)Else)
)
Instructions:##Read#1#Corinthians#13;#2#Corinthians#8:1J15;#Matthew#18:21J35;#Psalm#
127.###Below#you#will#find#a#list#of#verses#and#questions#that#help#you#think#about#the#
text.##For#each#verse,#explain#briefly#what#the#verse#means#and#how#it#applies#to#
marriage.###(Note#that#I’ve#only#included#a#few#lines#to#write#on#because#I#want#you#
to#be#brief!)####
#
1#Corinthians#13###
.
Questions:..#In#vs.#1J3,#Paul#uses#the#phrase:#“but#have#not#love.”##What#effect#does#the#
exclusion#of#love#have#on#the#things#Paul#listed?##In#vs.#4J7,#Paul#describes#love.##Can#
you#summarize#his#thoughts#in#a#few#words?##Summarize#the#point#of#vs.#8J13?###
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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.
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#
2#Corinthians#8:1J15#
.
Questions:..#Why#does#Paul#use#the#Macedonian#churches#as#an#example#to#the#
Corinthians#(vs.#1J5)?##What#does#“grace”#(vs.#1,#6,#7)#have#to#do#with#giving?#What#
does#the#gospel#have#to#do#with#your#giving#(v.#9)?###
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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.
#
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#
Matthew#18:21J35#
.
Questions:..#How#often#should#you#forgive#your#spouse#(vs.#21J22)?##Who#are#the#
main#characters#in#the#parable?#What’s#the#point#of#this#parable?#Why#was#the#
master#angry#at#the#servant#(vs.#32J33)?####
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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.
#
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#
#
Psalm#127#
# .
Questions:#Summarize#the#main#idea#in#vs.#1J2.##What’s#the#point#of#the#terms#
“heritage”#and#“reward”#(v.3)?##Why#does#the#psalmist#compare#children#to#arrows#
(v.#4)?#What#does#the#psalmist#say#about#a#“full#quiver”#(v.#5)?##What#is#the#psalmist#
describing#when#he#talks#about#parents#not#being#put#to#shame#when#they#“speak#
with#their#enemies#at#the#gate”#(v.5)?##
#
Explanation:.________________________________________________________________________________#
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)
Exercise)for)Biblical)Theology)of)Everything)Else))
)
Part)1.))Making)a)Budget)
#
Every#couple#must#make#decisions#about#finances.##As#you#merge#together#your#
money,#you#will#have#to#make#decisions#about#what#you#value#and#what#you#don’t#
value.##Remember:#a#budget#is#simply#a#means#to#define#what#we#value.##How#we#
spend#our#money#defines#what#we#value.#
#
Step)1.))
#
Instructions:#The#point#of#this#exercise#is#to#get#you#to#start#thinking#about#your#
budget.##Do#your#best#to#come#up#with#a#“rough”#budget.##Bring#a#copy#of#the#budget#
to#your#final#premarital#counseling#session.##Before#you#work#on#your#budget,#please#
ask#the#pastor#about#the#family.budget.Excel.spreadsheet#that#is#available#to#help#you#
with#this#exercise.###After#you#come#up#with#a#budget,#talk#through#the#questions#
listed#below.###
#
Questions)to)consider))
1. What#do#you#learn#about#your#priorities#and#values#by#looking#at#your#
budget?##
2. What#are#your#guidelines/philosophy#for#how#you#will#tithe?##
3. Who#will#primarily#handle#the#dayJtoJday#managing#of#the#finances#in#your#
family?##
4. What#does#it#mean#for#the#husband#to#show#leadership#in#the#family#finances?###
5. Have#you#come#up#with#a#system#of#how#to#organize#your#finances?##(e.g.,#will#
you#use#some#type#of#software#like#Quicken#or#Microsoft#Money?##Or#will#you#
use#the#‘envelope’#system?)##
6. If#you#have#debt,#how#are#you#planning#to#pay#it#off?###
7. If#you#have#bad#debt#(e.g.,#credit#card#debt),#does#your#budget#reflect#an#
aggressive#plan#to#pay#it#off?##
8. Is#your#family#budget#dependent#on#two#incomes?##If#the#wife#were#suddenly#
to#become#pregnant#and#decide#to#stop#working,#would#she#be#able#to#stop#
without#it#resulting#in#a#significant#change#of#lifestyle?##
#
Step)2.)(Optional))
#
Instructions:##Imagine#if#the#wife#became#pregnant#and#very#sick#during#the#first#
year#of#marriage,#and#was#not#able#to#work.##Or,#maybe#she#just#becomes#unable#to#
work#because#of#a#sickness#unrelated#to#pregnancy.##Regardless#of#the#
circumstances,#take#the#budget#that#you#came#up#with#in#part#1#and#now#redo#it#so#
you#are#dependent#only#on#the#husband’s#income.##Note#differences#between#the#two#
budgets#and#talk#over#with#the#pastor/counselor—how#painful#will#it#be#to#live#on#
this#second#budget?#Looking#back#on#it#now,#what#adjustments#might#need#to#be#
made#to#the#first#budget#(from#part#1)#that#might#make#living#off#of#this#second#
budget#more#plausible?##
)
Part)2.))Organizing)Your)Family)Schedule)
#
One#thing#that#often#catches#couples#by#surprise#is#a#merger#of#their#individual.
schedules#into#one#family.schedule.##For#example,#suppose#the#husband#has#small#
group#on#Monday#night,#and#the#wife#has#her#small#group#meeting#on#Tuesday#night,#
and#they#both#go#to#the#midJweek#church#evangelistic#training#on#Wednesday#nights.##
That#would#mean#the#first#night#of#the#week#they#get#to#be#together#is#Thursday#
night!#Like#this#couple,#too#many#couples#plan#their#weeks#more#like#individuals.in#
marriage#rather#than#thinking#more#like#a#married#couple.##
#
Step)1.))Write#out#your#individual.schedules#for#one#week#of#your#life.##Think#in#
terms#of#begin#a#single#adult#and#write#out#what#you#typically#schedule#for#one#
week.##Include#how#many#hours#you#sleep,#your#quiet#times,#commuting#to#and#from#
work,#church#related#activities#(including#church#attendance#on#Sundays),#your#job,#
extraJcurricular#activities#(reading,#running,#etc.),#fellowship#with#believers#and#
time#with#other#friends,#and#anything#else#you#can#think#of.###
#
Add#up#the#total#hours#you#have#in#each#category#(i.e.,#how#many#hours#per#week#do#
you#sleep,#work,#do#church#activities,#etc.)#and#list#them#below.#
#
Sleep## ##=##_________##hours#per#week#
Work## ##=###_________##hours#per#week#
ChurchJrelated##=###_________##hours#per#week#
## # ###=###_________##hours#per#week#
###=###_________##hours#per#week#
###=###_________##hours#per#week#
#
Questions)to)consider)
1. How#many#hours#do#you#sleep#each#week?#Is#this#your#ideal,#or#how#far#short#
do#fall#of#your#ideal?##
2. How#many#hours#do#you#work#each#week?##
3. How#many#hours#are#you#doing#churchJrelated#activities?##
4. Was#there#anything#that#surprised#you#about#your#schedule?##
5. How#do#you#think#your#schedule#needs#to#be#adjusted#in#marriage?##
#
Step)2.)))Take#your#two#individual.schedules#and#work#together#to#merge#them#into#
one#family.schedule.##Recommendation:#About#two#or#three#months#into#marriage,#
pull#this#out#and#compare#real#life#with#your#tentative#family#schedule.#)
)
)
Sermons)
)
)
• Al#Mohler#–#Reproductive#Techniques#and#Contraception#–#Henry#
Forum##
#
• John#Piper#–#Marriage#is#Meant#for#Making#Children#(Pt#1#and#2)#–#
Eph#6:1J4##
• John#Piper#–#Marriage:##Forgiving#and#Forbearing#–#Col#3:12#J#19#
#
#
From#First#Baptist#Church#Durham#audio#(www.fbcdurham.org):#
• Andy#Davis#–#Children#are#a#Blessing#from#God#–#Psalm#127#
)
Readings)
)
The#Ricucci’s#Love.that.Lasts:#Epilogue#
#
An Optional Reading and Companion Exercise

for the Prideful and Self-Righteous
If you struggle with pride or self-righteousness, you should:
1. Read a book on humility like CJ Mahaney’s Humility: True Greatness

2. Write out some ways in which your pride commonly affects your
relationship and confess these things to your fiancé (Proverbs 28:13).
3. Think together about some ways in which you desire to grow in
humility (James 4:6).
4. Pray together and ask for the Lord’s help.
!#

Conseils Avant Mariage Premarital-Curriculum

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Conseils Avant Mariage Premarital-Curriculum

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A Brief Overview for Pastors (and Others) to Our Premarital Curriculum

Each lesson is broken down into four parts:

Session 2: Part 1 is communication through Proverbs. I get the couple to

Session4: In Part 1, the main exercise is to complete a tentative budget and

The%extrovert% % _% The%home5body% % _%

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%1%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%2% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%3% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%4% % %%%5%

An Optional Reading and Companion Exercise

1. Reading Ken Sande’s Resolving Everyday Conflict

An Optional Reading and Companion Exercise

If you struggle with pride or self-righteousness, you should:

1. Read a book on humility like CJ Mahaney’s Humility: True Greatness

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