OurMutualFriend 10097386

Pr i n ted b y H ORAC E H AR T,
U n i ver s i ty Pr e s s , O xfor d
C O N TEN T S
BOOK TH E F IRST . TH E C UP AND T H E LI P

P AG E
ON TH E L OOK -
O UT
TH E MAN FR O M S O M EWH E R E
AN O TH E R MAN
TH E R WI L F E R FA MI L Y
.
BO FFIN S B OWE R
’
CUT AD RI FT
M R W E G G L OOKS A FT E R HIM SE L F
.
M R B O FFIN I N C O N S U LTA TI O N
.
M R AND MRS BO FFIN IN C O N S U L T ATI O N

. .
A MA RRI AG E C O NTR AC T
P O D S N A PPE RY
TH E S WE A T O F A N H O N EST MA N S BR OW
'
T R AC K IN G T H E B I RD O F P R E Y
TH E BIRD O F P R EY B R O U GHT D OW N
N o N EW S E RVA NTS
M IND E RS A ND R E MIND E R S
A D I S M A L S WA MP
BO OK TH E SE CO N D B I RD S OF A F EATHER
.
.I O F A N E DU CA TI O N A L C HA R AC TE R
I I S TI LL E DU CA TI O N A L
.
III A P I E C E O F WO R K
.
IV. CUPID PR O MPT E D

V M E R C URY P R O MPTIN G
.
V I A RI DD L E W ITH O UT A N ANSWE R
.
V II I N W H I CH A FRI E ND L Y M OV E I s O RI G IN AT E D
.
V I II I N WH ICH A N I NN O C ENT E L O P E M E NT O c c U Rs
.
IX. I N WH I CH T H E O RP HA N M A KES H I S WI LL
.X A S U CCE SSO R
X I SO M E AFF AIRS O F TH E H E A RT
.
X II M O R E BIRD S O F PR E Y
.
X III A S O L O A ND A D U E T
.
X I V STR O N G O F P URP OSE

.
X V TH E W H O L E C ASE SO FA R
.
XV I AN ANNI V E RS A RY OCCA SI O N
.
C O NTENTS
B OO K TH E TH I RD . A LO N G LA N E
G
PA E
LO D G E R S IN Q UEE R STREE T .
A R ES P E CTE D FRI END IN A N EW ASPE C T

TH E S A M E R ES P E C T E D F RI E ND IN M O R E AS P E C TS THA N O N E
A H A PPY RE TURN O F TH E DA Y
TH E G O L D E N D US TM A N F A LLS INT O B A D C O MPA NY
TH E G O L D E N D U STM A N F A LL S INT O W O R SE C O MPA NY
TH E FRI E ND LY M O V E TA KES UP A S TR O N G POS ITI O N
TH E E ND O F A L O N G J O URN E Y
S O M E B O DY B E C O M ES T H E S U B J E CT O F A P R EDICTI O N
SC O UT S O UT
I N T H E DA R K
M E A NIN G M I S CH I E F
GI V E A D O G A B A D NA M E, A ND H A N G HI M
M R W E G G PR E PA R ES A GRIND S T O N E F O R M R BO FFIN S N OSE
. .
'
TH E G O L D E N D U S T MA N A T H I S W O R ST
TH E FE A ST O F T H E TH R EE H O B G O B L IN S
A S O C I A L C H O RUS
B O O K TH E FO URTH . A T URN I N G
I . S ETTIN G T R A PS
II . TH E G O L D E N D U S TM A N RI SES A LITTL E
I II . TH E G O L D E N D U S TM A N S IN KS AGA IN
IV . A RUN AWA Y MATCH
V . C O N C E RNIN G TH E M E NDI CA NT S BRID E
’
VI A CRY F O R H E L P
.
VI I BETTE R To B E AB E L T HA N C A IN
.
VIII A F EW GR AIN S O F PE PP E R
.
IX T WO PL AC ES V ACAT E D
.
X TH E D O LL S D R ESS M A KE R DI S C O V E R S A WO RD
’
.
XI E FF E C T I S G IV E N T O T H E D O LL S D R ESS M A KE R S D I S C O VE RY
.
’ ’
X II . TH E PA SSIN G SHA D OW
X II I SH OWIN G H OW T H E G O L D E N D U S TM A N H E L P E D To SCATT E R
.
D US T
XI V C H E C K M ATE To TH E FRI E NDLY M O V E
.
X V W HAT WA S C A U GH T IN TH E T R A P S THAT WE R E S ET
.
X V I PE R SO N S A ND TH ING S IN G E N E R A L
.
CHA P TE R TH E L A ST TH E VO I C E O F S O C I ETY
.
POSTS C RIPT IN L I E U O F PR E F AC E
,
LIST O F I LLUSTRATI ONS
AGE
P
PO RTRAI T O F C HA R L ES DI C KE N S Fr on tz sp i e c e
’
TH E BIRD O F PR E Y
WITN ESS IN G TH E AG R EE M E NT
AT TH E B A R
M R VENU S S URR O UND E D B Y TH E T R O PH I ES O F HI S ART
.
TH E BO FFIN PR O G R ESS
TH E H A PPY PAI R
P O D S N AP P ERY
W A ITIN G F O R FA TH E R
TH E BIRD O F P R E Y B R O U GH T D OW N
MRS B O FFIN D IS C O VE RS A N O RP HA N
.
TH E P E R SO N O F T H E H O U SE A ND TH E B A D C H I L D
.
BRIN G IN G HIM IN
TH E GA RD E N O N TH E ROO F
F O RMIN G T H E D O M ESTI C VIRTU ES
PA S LO D G E R A ND PA s DA U GH T E R
’ ’
O UR J O H NNY
M I SS RID E R H OO D A T H O M E
M O R E D E A D THA N A L IV E .
TH E BO O FER L ADY
A F RI E ND IN N EE D
T RYIN G O N F O R TH E D O LL S DR ESS M A KE R
’
R O G U E R ID E RHOO D S R E C O V E RY
’
BI B L I O M ANI A O F TH E G O LD E N D U STMA N
TH E D UT CH B OTTL E
TH E EV I L G E NIU S O F TH E H O U SE O F B O FFIN.
TH E F L I G H T
TH R EE P E NN O RTH RUM
-
’
M R FLE DG E BY D E PA RT S O N H I S E RR A ND O F M E R C Y
.
MB W EG G PR E PA R ES A GRIND STO N E F O R M R B O FFIN S N OSE

. .
’
XV II .
10 L IST O F I LL USTR ATIO NS
G
PA E
B E LL A RIGHTE D B Y TH E G O L D E N D USTM A N
TH E L O V E L Y W O M A N HA S H ER F O RTUN E TO L D
I N T H E LO C K KEE PE R S H O U SE
’
-
TH E W E DDIN G D INN E R AT GR EE N W I CH
THE PA RTIN G B Y T H E RI V E R
B E TTE R To B E AB E L THA N C A IN
M I SS WR E N FIX ES H E R I D E A
E U G E N E S B E D S ID E
’
LI GH TWOO D A T L AS T
M R B O FFIN D OES T H E H O N O UR S O F T H E N UR SE RY
. D OO R
N O T To B E SHAK E N O FF
C HARAC TERS
Y O UN G B LI GH T, d i s m a l oifi c e b oy a n d c l e k
a -
r .
NI C O D E MU S B O FFIN ( a lled “ N o ddy a ls o “ Th e G o ld en D u s tm a n

c ,
-
Od d l oo k i n g o l d fe l l ow fo rm e rly c o n fid e n t i a l s e r v a n t t o th e e l d e r
-
,
Mr H a rm on
. .
M R C LE AV E R Mr D oll s
. a w e a k wre t c h e d d r u n k e n m a n
.
, , .
M R FLE DG E Y ( Fa s c i n a ti on Fl e d ge b y
. B
“
a d o l ti s h d a n dy .
BO B G LIDD E RY p o tb o y a t Th e Si x J o lly F e ll o ws h i p Por te rs

,
-
.
J O H N H A RM O N a li a s J U L IU S H A N DF O RD a li a s J O H N RO KE SMI TH h e i r t o
, , ,
t h e H a rm o n e s ta te .
BR AD L EY H EA D STO N E a m a s te r i n a s c h o ol ,
.
J ESSE B EK A M (“ Ga ffe r a T h a m es wa te rs i d e m a n .
C HAR L E Y HEKAM h i s s o n a s e l fi s h a n d h a rd h e a rte d y o u th

,
-
.
M R I N S P EC TO R a p o l i c e offi c e r
.
,
- .
J O H NNY a n orp h a n g ra n ds on o f B e tty H i gd e n

,
.
AL FR E D LAMMLE a n a d v e n tu rer a n d a fo r tu n e h u n te r
,
-
.
M O RTIM E R L I GHTWOO D a y ou n g s o l i c i tor a n d a ttor n e y

, .
Th e R E V F R ANK MI LV EY a c u ra te wi th a l a ge fa m i ly
.
,
r .
M R J O H N P O D SN A P
. a m e b r o f s oc i e ty a n d a p o m pou s s e lf
m e
“
, , ,
s a ti s fie d m an .
JO B PO TTE RSO N th e s te wa r d o f a s h i p
, .
M R RI AH a v e n e ra bl e J e w o f n o bl e a n d g e n e ro u s n a tu re
.
, , .
RO G ER RID E R H OO D (“ Rog u e a d e s p e ra te wa te rs i d e c h a ra c te r .
G EO R G E SA MPSO N a y ou n g m a n i n ti m a te wi th th e W i lfe r fa m i ly
, ,
.
S L O PPY a fou n dl i n g a d op te d by B e tt y H i gd e n
, , .
M R M E L VIN TwE MLo w o n e o f th e p o ore r m e m b e r s o f s oc i e ty a n d

.
,
“
,
a fri e n d o f t h e V e n e e ri n g s .
M R H A MI L T O N VE N EE RIN G a p a rve n u to l e ra te d by s oc i e ty on a c c ou n t
.
, ,
o f h i s w e a l th .
M R VE NU S a pre s e r v e r o f a n i m a l s a n d b i rd s
.
, .
S I LA S W EG G a b a ll a d m o n ge r a n d k e e p e r o f a fr u i t s ta ll
, ,
-
.
RE G IN AL D WI L F E R (“ Th e C h e r u b a po o r h e n p e c k e d c l e r k .
E UG E N E W R AY BURN a b r i e fle s s b a rri s te r o f a gl o o m y i n d o l e n t u n
, , , ,
a m b i ti ou s n a tu r e .
12 CH AR A C TE RS
M ISS S O P H R O NI A AKE RSHEM, a fa s t y ou n g l a dy of “ s oc i ety , a fte rward s
d to Mr Alfre d La m m l e
m a rr i e . .
M R S H E NRI ETTA B O FFIN t h e c h e e rfu l wi fe o f Mr N i c o d e m u s Bofli n

.
,
. .
FA NNY C L E AV E R ( J e n n y W re n
“
a d o ll s d res s m a k e r ’
.
LI z e HE KAM th e b ra ve d e o te d d a u gh te r o f J e s s e B e x am
, ,
v .
MRS BETTY HI G D E N th e k e e p e r o f a m a n gl e a n d a m i n d i n g s c h ool

.
,
-
.
M RS MA R GAR ETTA MILV EY a p re tty b r i gh t l i ttl e Wo m a n ; wi fe o f th e

.
, ,
Re v Fra n k Mi l v e y
. .
M I SS E MM A BEE CH E R a te a c h e r i n a s c h ool
,
.
M RS PO D S N AP th e m aj e s ti c W i f o f Mr Jo h n Po d s n a p
.
,
e . .
M I SS G EOR G I A N A P O D SN A P h e r d a u gh te r ; a s h y fo o l i s h a fi e c ti o n a te g i rl
, , ,
.
M I SS ABB E Y POTTE RSO N l a n dl a dy o f Th e Si x J o lly Fe ll ows hi p Po rte rs

,
-
.
PL E A S ANT RI D E RH OO D a n u n l i c en s e d p a wn b ro k e r a n d d a u gh te r of
, ,
Roge r Ri d e rh oo d .
LADY T IPPIN S a m e m b er o f “ s oc i e ty a n d a fri e n d o f th e V e n ee ri n gs

, ,
.
MRS ANASTATIA VE N EERING wi fe o f Mr H a m i l to n V e n e eri n g

'
.
,
. .
M RS WIL F E R th e ta ll a n gu l a r s tate ly wi fe o f R e g i n a ld W i lfe r

.
, , ,
.
M I SS B ELL A W I L F E R h e r d a u gh te r a p r teg ee o f th e Bofli n s

’ ’
,
o .
M I SS L AVINI A WI L F E R y ou n g e s t dau gh ter of Mr s Wi lfe r a s harp

, .
,
s a u c y i rr e pre s s i bl e g i r l
,
.
O UR MU TU AL FR I E ND
IN FO UR B OO KS
4 4
BOO K THE FI RST
THE C UP AND THE LIP

C H A PT E R I
O N THE LOOK -
OUT
I N these times of ours though c oncerning the exact year

,
there is no need to be precise a bo at of dirty and d is r e ,
p u ta b l e appearance with two figu res in it floated On the

, ,
Thames between Southwark Bridge which is of iron and

, ,
London Bridge which is of stone as an autumn evening was ,
closing in .
The figures in this boat were those of a strong man with

ragged grizzled hair and a sun browned face and a dark girl-
,
of n i nete en or twenty sufficiently l ike him to be recognisable

,
as his daughter The girl rowed pulli ng a pair of sculls

.
,
V ery easily ; the man with the rudder lines slack in his hands
,
-
,
and his hands loose in h i s waistband kept an eager look out ,

-
.
He had no net hook or line and he could not be a fis h e r

, , ,
man ; his boat had no cu shion for a Sitter n o paint no i n , ,
scription n o appliance beyond a r u sty boat hook an d a coil

,
-
of rope and h e could not b e a waterman ; his boat was too

,
crazy and too small to take in a cargo for delivery and he ,
could not be a lighterman or river carrier there was no clue -
to what he looked for but he looked for something with a

, ,
most i ntent and searching gaze The tide which had turned .
,
an hour before was running down and his eyes watched

, ,
every little race and eddy in its broad sweep as the boat ,
made slight headway against it or drove stern foremost ,
before it accord i ng as he directed his daughter by a move

,
ment of his head She watched his face as earnestly as Sh e

.
I 4 O UR M UTU A L FRIE ND
watched the river But in the intensity of her look there

.
,
'
was a touch of dread or horror .
Allied to the bottom of the river rather than the surface ,
by reason of the slime and ooze with wh ich it was covered

and its sodden State this boat and the two figures in it o b
,
v i o u s l y were doing something that they often did and were ,
seeking what they often sough t Half savage as the man . ,
Showed with no covering on his matted head with his brown

, ,
arms bare to between the elbow and the S houlder with the ,
loose knot of a looser kerchief lying low on his bare breast

i n a w i lderness of beard and whisker with such dress as he ,
wore seeming to be made out of the mu d that begrimed his

boat still there was business like usage in his steady gaze
,
-
.
So with every lithe action of the girl with every turn of her ,
wrist perhaps most of all with her look of dread or horror

,
they were things of usage .
“
Keep her out Lizzie Tide runs strong h ere Keep her
, . .
well afore the sweep of i t .
Tr u s ting to the girl s skill and making n o use of the

’
rudder he eyed the coming tide with an absorbe d atte ntion

,
.
So the girl eye d h im But it happened now that a slant of

.
, ,
light fro m the setting sun glan c ed into the bottom of the
boat and touching a rotten stain there which bore some re
, ,
semblance to the outline of a mu ffled human form coloured ,
it as though with diluted blood This caught the girl s eye .

’
and she shivered .
What ails y o u said the man immediately aware of it , ,
though so intent on the advancin g waters ; I see nothing

afloat .
The red light was gone the shudder was gone and his , ,
gaze which had come back to the boat for a moment

, ,
travelled away again Whereso ever the strong tide met with
.
an impediment his gaze pause d for an in stant At every

, .
mooring chain and rope at every stationary boat or barge ,
that split the current into a broad arrow head at the offsets - -
,
fro m the piers of Southwark Bridge at the paddles of the ,
river steamboats as they beat the filthy water at the ,
floating logs of timber lashed together lying off certain

wharves his shining eyes darted a hungry l ook After a
, .
darkening hour or so suddenly the rudder lines tightened in

,
-
his hold and he steere d hard towards the Surrey shore

, .
Always watching his face the girl instantly answered to ,
the action in her sculling presently the boat swung round ,

I 8 O UR M UTU A L FRIEN D
picked out of the river alongside the coal barges The very .
basket th a t you Slept in the tide washed ashore The very , .
rocke r s that I put it upon to make a cradle of it I cut out ,
of a piece of wood that drifte d from some Ship or another .

”
Lizzie took her right han d from the scull it held and ,
touched her lips with it and for a moment h eld it out ,
lovingly towards him then without Speaking Sh e resumed , ,
her rowing as another boat of similar appearance though in

, ,
rather better trim came o u t from a dark place and dropped ,
softly alongside .
In luck again Gaffer said a man with a squinting leer

, ,
who sculled her and who was alone “

I k n ow d you was in
,
.
’
luck again by your wake as you come do wn

,
.
”
“ ’
Ah replied the other drily So you re out are you ,
.
,
Yes pardner ,
.
There was now a tender yellow moonlight on the river an d ,
the new comer keepi ng half his boat s length astern of the
,
’
other boat looked hard at its track

, .
“ “
I says to myself he went on directly you hove in , .
V iew Yonder s Ga ffer and in luck aga i n by George if he

’
ain t ! Scull it is pardner — don t fret y ourself—I didn t

, , ,
’ ’ ’
touch h i m This was in answer to a quick impatient move

.
”
ment on the part of Gaffer : the speaker at the same time

unshipping his scull on that side and laying his hand on ,
the gunwale of Gaffer s boat and holding to i t ’

. .
“
He s had touches enough not to want no more as well
’
as I make him out Gaffer ! Been a knoc ki ng about with a ,
pretty many tides ain t he pardner ? Such i s my out of ,

’
,
-
luck ways you see He must have passed me when he went

,
up last time for I wa S on the l ook out below bridge here

,
‘ -
.
I a m os t think you re lik e the wu l tu r s pardner and scent

’ ’
, ,
’
em out .
He spoke i n a dropped voice and with more th an one ,
glance at Lizzie who had pulled o n her hoo d again Both

,
.
men then looked with a weird unholy interest at the wake

of Gaffer s boat ’
.
“
Easy does it betwixt us Shall I ta ke him aboard , .
,
pardner ?
“
No said the other In so surly a tone that the man
, .
,
after a blank stare acknowledged it with th e retort

—Arn t been eating nothing as has disagreed with you
,
’
,
have you pardner ? ,

“
Why yes I have said Ga ffer
,
I have been swallowing
, ,
.
A DISSO LV ED PA RTNE RS H I P 1
9
too m uch of that word , Pardner I a m n o pardner of .
y ours
Since when was you no pard n er of min e Gaffer He xa m
.
Esquire ? ”
Since you was accu sed of robbing a man Accused of .
robbing a live man said Gaffer wi th great in dignation ,

.
“
And what if I had been accused O f robbing a dead man ,
Gaffer ? ”
“
You C O U L D N T do it ’
.
’
Couldn t you Gaffer ? ,
‘
No Has a dead m a n any use for money I S it possible
.
for a dead man to have money ? What world does a d ead

’
man belong to ? T other world What worl d does money .
’
belong to ? This world How can money be a corpse s ? .
Can a corpse own it want it spend it claim it m iss it ? , , , ,

’
Don t try to go confounding th e rights and wrongs of thi n gs
in that way But it s worthy of the sneaking spirit that
.
’
”
robs a live man .
“ ’
I ll tell you what it is '
’
No you won t I l l te l l you wh at it is You ve got off
’
.
’
.
with a short tim e of it for putting your hand in the pOc k et

of a sailor a live sailor Make the most of it a n d think
, .
yourself lucky but don t think after th a t to come over m e

,
’
with your pardners We have worked together in ti m e .
past but we work together no more in time present n o r yet

,
future Let go Cast off

. .
“
Gaffer ! If you think to get rid of m e this way
If I don t get rid of you this way I ll try another and
’
,
’
chop you over the fingers with the stretcher or take a pick ,
at your head with th e boat hook Cast off Pull you -

.
,
’ ”
Lizzie Pull home Since you won t let your father pull
.
,
.
Lizzie Shot ahea d and the other boat fell astern Lizzie s
,
.
’
father composing himself into the easy attitu de of one who

,
had asserted the high moralities and taken an unassail abl e

position Slowly lighted a pipe and smoke d and took a
, , ,
survey of what he had in to w What he had in tow lunged .

,
itself at him sometimes in an awful manner when the boat

was checked and sometimes seemed to try to wrench itself
,
away th ough for the most part it followed submissively A

, .
n eophyte might have fancied that the ripples passi n g over i t
were dreadfully like faint changes of expression on a sigh tless

face but Gaffer wa s no neophyte and h a d n o fancies .
C H A PT E R I I
THE MAN FROM SO MEWHERE
M R and Mrs Veneering were bran new people i n a bran new

. .
- -
house in a bran new quarter of London Everything about

-
.
the Veneerings was Spick and span new All their furniture .
was n e w all their friends were n e w all their servants were ,
new th e I r plate was new their carriage was new thei r harness
, , ,
was new their horses were new their pictures were new they
, , ,
themselves were new they were as newly married as was ,
lawfully compatible with their having a bran new baby and -

,
if they had set up a great grandfather he woul d have come -

,
home in matting from the Pantechnicon without a scratch ,
upon him F rench polish e d to the crown of his head

,
-
.
F or in the Veneering establishment from the hall chair s

, ,
-
with the new coat of arms to the grand pianoforte with the ,
new action and u p stairs again to the new fir e escape all

,
- -
,
things were in a state of high varnish an d poli sh And what .
was observable in the furniture was observable in the ,
Veneerings — the surface smelt a little too much of the

workshop and was a trifl e sticky .
There was an innocent piece of dinner fu rniture that went -
upon easy castors an d was kept over a livery stable yard in -
Duke Street Saint James s when not in use to whom the

,
’
, ,
Veneerings were a source of blind confusion The name of .
this article was Twemlow Bein g first cousin to Lord Snigs .
worth he was in frequent r equisition and at many houses

, ,
might be said to represent the dining table in its normal -
state Mr and Mrs Veneering for example arranging a

. . .
, ,
dinner habitually started with Twemlow and then put

, ,
leaves in him or added guests to him Sometimes the table

, .
,
consisted of Twemlow and half a dozen leaves ; sometimes of - -

,
Twemlow and a dozen leaves ; sometimes T wemlow was ,
pulled out to his utmost extent of twenty leaves Mr and . .
Mrs Veneering on occasions of ceremony faced each other in

.
AN I NSO L U BL E Q UESTIO N 2 1
the c entre of the board and thus the parallel still held for , ,
it al ways happened that the more Twemlow was pulled out ,
the further b e found himself from the centre and the nearer ,
to the Sideboard at one end of the room or the window ,
curtains at the other .
But it was not this which steeped the feeble sou l of

,
Twemlow in confusion This he was used to and could take .

,
so u ndings of Th e abyss to which h e coul d find no bottom

.
,
and from which sta rted forth the engrossing and ever s we l li n g -
d i fficulty of his life was the insoluble question whether he

,
was Veneering s oldest friend or newest friend

’
To the ,
.
excogitation of this problem the harmless gentleman had ,
d evoted many anxious hours both in his lodgings over the ,
livery stable yard and in the cold gloom favourable to medi

-
, ,
ta ti o n of St J ames s S quare
,
. Thus Twemlow had first ’
. .
known Veneering at his club where Veneering then knew ,
nobody but the man who made them known to one another ,
who seemed to be the most intimate friend h e had in the

world and whom he had known two days— the bond of
,
union between their souls the nefarious conduct of the ,
committee respecting the cookery of a fillet of veal h aving ,
been accidentally cemented at that date Immediately upon .
this Twemlo w received an invitation to dine with Veneering

, ,
and dined : the man being of the party Immediately upon .
that Twemlow received an invitation to dine with the man

, ,
and
’
dined : Veneering being of the party At the man s .
were a Member an Engineer a Payer off of the National

, ,
-
Debt a Poem on Shakespeare a Grievance and a Public

, , ,
Office who all seemed to be utter strangers to Vene erin g

,
.
And yet immediately after that Twemlow received an invita ,
tion to dine at Veneeri ng s expressly to meet the Member ’

, ,
th e Engineer the Payer off of the National Debt the Poem

,
-
,
on Shakespeare the Grievance a n d the Public Office and

, , , ,
dining discovered that all of them were the most intimate

,
friends Veneering had in the world and that the wives of ,
all of them (wh o were all there) were the obj ects of Mrs .
Veneering s most devoted a ffection and tender confidence

’
.
Thus i t had come about that Mr Twemlow had said to ,

.
himself in his lodgings wi th his hand to his forehead : I ,

’
must not think of this This is enough to soften any man s .
brain — and y e t was always thinki ng of it and could never

,
”
,
form a conclusion .
This evening the Veneerings give a banquet Eleven leave s .

2 2 O UR MU T
UAL F RIEND
in the Twemlo w fo u rte en in company all told F our pigeo n .
breasted retainers in plain clothe s Stand i n line in the hall .
A fifth retainer proceeding up the staircase with a mou rnful

,
“
air as who sho u ld say
-
Here is another wretched crea
—announces Mis ter
,
ture come to dinner ; such is life ,

-
Twemlo w
Mrs Veneering welcomes her sweet Mr Twemlow Mr
.
. . .
Veneering welcomes his dear Tweml o w Mrs Veneering d oes . .
not expect that Mr Twemlow can in nature care much for

.
s u c h insipid things a s babies but so old a frien d must please ,

“
look at baby Ah ! You will know the friend of your
.
fa m ily better To o tle u m s,

says Mr Veneering nodding ,
”
.
,
“
emotionally at that new article when you begin to take ,
notice He then begs to make his dear Twemlow kn own to

”
his two friends Mr Boots and Mr Brewer —and clearly has

.
. .
,
no d i stinct idea which is which .
But now a fearful circu m stance occurs .
Mis ter and Mis Si s Podsnap

- -
My dear says Mr Veneering to Mr s Veneering with an

,
”
. .
,
air of much friendly interest while the do or stands open , ,

“ ”
the Podsnaps .
A too too smiling large man with a fatal freshness on him

, , ,
appearing with his wife instantly deserts his wife and darts
,
at Twemlow with :
How do you do SO glad to know you Charming house .
you have here I hope we are not late SO glad of this

. .
opportu n ity I am sure !

,
”
When the first shock fell upon him Twemlow twice skipped ,
back in his neat little shoes and his neat little silk sto ckin gs
of a bygone fashion as if impelled to leap over a sofa behind
,
him ; but the large man closed with him and proved too
strong .
“
Let me says the large man trying to attract the
, ,
“
attentio n of his wife in the distance have the pleasure O f ,
”
presenting Mrs Podsnap to her host She will be in his
. .
,
fatal freshness he seems to fin d perpetual verdure and eternal

“
yo u th in the phrase she wil l be so glad of the opport u nity
, ,
”
I a m sure !
In the meant i me Mrs Podsnap unable to ori gi nate a
,
.
,
mistake on her own account because Mrs Veneering is the ,

.
only other lady there does he r best in the way of handsomely

,
’
supporting her husband s by looking towards Mr Twemlow
with a plaintive co u ntenance and remarking to Mrs V e n e e r i n g
.
,
.
TW E MLo w s
’
H O P E L ESS C O NFUSIO N 2 3
in a feeling manner firstly that she fears he has been rather
, ,
bil ious of late and Secondly that the baby is already very
, , ,
l i ke him .
It is questionable whether any man quite relishes being

mistaken for any other man but Mr Veneeri n g having this .
very evening set up the shirt front of the young Antinous -
(in new worked cambric j ust come home) is not at all com ,
l i m e n te d by being supposed to be Twemlow who is dry and

p ,
weazen and some thirty years older Mrs Venee r ing equally . .
resents the imputation of being the wife of Twemlow As .
to Twemlow he is so sensible of being a much better bred

,
man than Veneering that he considers the large man an ,
o ffensive ass .
In this complicated dilemma Mr Veneering approaches , .
the large man with extended hand and smilingly assures that ,
incorrigible personage that he is delighted to see him : who

in his fa ta l fr e s h n e s s instantly replies
'
Thank you I am ashamed to say that I cannot at this

.
moment recall where we met but I am so glad of this O pp o r ,

”
tu n i ty I am su re !
,
Then pouncing upon Twemlow wh o h o l d s back with all ,
his feeble might b e is h a l i n g h i m o ff to present him as

,
‘
Veneering to Mrs Podsnap when the arrival of more guests

, .
,
unravels the mistake Whereupon having r e shaken hands .

,
-
with Veneering as Veneering he re Shakes hands with Twe m ,

-
low as Twemlow and winds it all up to his own perfect

,
satisfaction by saying to the last named Ridiculou s O pp or -

,
tu n i ty— but so glad of it I am sure !

”
,
Now Twemlow having undergone this terrific experience

, ,
having l i kewise noted the fusion of Boots in B rewer and

Brewer in Boots and having fu rther observ ed that of the
,
remaining seven guests four discreet characters enter with

wandering eyes and wholly decline to commit themselves as
to which is Venee r ing until Venee r ing has them in his ,
grasp -
Twemlow having profited by these studies finds his ,
brain wholesomely hardening as he approaches the conclusion

that he really is Veneering s oldest friend when h i s brain ’
softens again and all is lost thro ugh h i s eyes encountering ,
Veneering and the large man linked together as twin brothers

in the back drawing room near the conservatory do or an d -
,
through his ears informin g him in the tones of Mrs Venee ring .
that the same large man is to be baby s godfather ’

.
Dinner is on the table

2 4 OU R MUTU A L F RI EN D
“
Thus th e melancholy retainer as who should say Com e , ,
down and be poisoned ye unhappy children of men ,
Twemlow havi ng no lady assigned him goes down in the

, ,
rear with his hand to his forehead B oots and Brewer

,
.
,
“
thinking h i m indispose d whisper Man faint Had no ,
.
lunch But he is only stunned by the unvanquishable d i ffi

.
”
culty of his existen ce .
Revived by soup Twemlow discou rses mildly of the Court ,
Circular with Boots and B rewer I S appealed to at the fish .

,
stage of the banquet by Veneering on the disputed question , ,
whether his cousin Lord Sn i g s wo r th is in or out of town ?

Gives it that his cousin is out of town “
At Sn i g s worth y .
”
Park ? Veneering inqu ires At Sn i g s wo rt h y Twemlow .
,
”
rej oins Boots and Brewer re gard this as a man to be culti

.
v a te d ; and Veneering is clear that h e is a remunerative

article Meanti m e the retainer goes round l i ke a gloomy
.
,
“
Analytical Chemist ; always seeming to say after Chablis , ,
sir You wouldn t if you knew what it s made of ’ ’

.
The great looking glass above the sideboard reflects the -
table and the company Reflects the new Veneering crest in .

,
gold and eke in silver frosted and also thawed a camel of , ,
all work The Herald s College found out a Crusading

.
’
ancestor for Veneering who bore a camel on his shield (or

might have done it if he had thought of it) and a caravan ,
of camels take charge of the fruits and flowers and candles ,
and kneel down to be loaded with the salt Reflects Veneer .
ing ; forty wavy haired dark tendin g to corpulence Sly

,
-
, , , ,
mysterious fil m y— a kind of sufficiently well l ooking V eiled

,
-
prophet not prophesying Reflects Mrs Veneering ; fair

,
. .
,
aquiline nosed and fingered not S O much light hair as she

-
,
might h ave gorgeous in raiment and j ewels enthusiastic

, , ,
propitiatory conscious that a corner of her husband s veil is

,
’
over herself Reflects Podsnap ; prosperously feeding , two

.
little light colou red wiry wings one on either side o f his else
-
,
bald head looking as like his hair brushes as his h air

,
-
,
dissolving V iew of red beads on his forehead large allowance ,
of crumpled Shirt collar up behind Reflects Mrs Podsnap -

. .
fine woman for Professo r Owen quantity of bone neck and , ,
nostrils like a rocking horse hard features maj estic head -

, ,
dress in which Podsnap has hung golden offerin gs Re flects .
T wemlow ; grey dry polite susceptible to east wind F irst

, , , ,
Gentleman i n Europe collar and cravat cheeks drawn in as if

- -
,
he h ad made a great e ffort to retire into himself some years

2 6 O UR MUTU A L FRIEND
passes over h i s face an d h e drops his eyelids a n d Shuts h is ,
mouth .
Now Mortimer says Lady Tippins rapping the stick s

, , ,
of her closed green fan upon the knuckles of her left hand
“
which is particularly rich in knu ckles I insist u pon you r ,
telling all that is to be told about the man from J amaica .

”
“
Give you my honour I never heard O f any man from
J amaica except the man who was a brother replies Mortimer ,
”
.
“ ”
Tobago then ,
.
Nor yet from Tobago .
Except Eugene strik es in : so unexp e cte dly that th e

,
mature young lady who has forgotten all about him with a , ,
“
start takes the epaulette out of his way : except our friend
who long lived on rice pudding and isinglass till at length -
,
to his something or other his physician said something else , ,
and a l e g of mutton somehow ended in d a y go .

”
A reviving impression goes round the table that Eugene is

co m ing out An unfulfilled impression for he goes in again
.
,
.
“
Now my dear Mrs Veneering quoth Lady Tippins I
, .
,
”
,
appeal to you whether this is not the basest conduct ever

known in this world I carry my lovers about two or three ,
at a time o n condition that they are very obedient and

,
devoted and here is my old lover i n chief the head of all my - -

,
slaves throwing o ff his allegiance before company And here

,
is another of my lovers a rough C y m o n at present certainly , , ,
but of whom I had most hopeful expectations as to his turn

ing out well in course of time pretending that h e can t ,
’
reme m ber his nursery rhymes On purpose to annoy me for ,
he knows how I dot e upon them

A grisly little fiction concerning her lovers is Lady
Ti ppi n s s point She is always attended by a lover or two
’
.
,
and she keeps a little list of her lovers and sh e is always ,
booking a new lover or striking o u t an old lover or putting , ,
a lover in her black list or promoting a l over to her blue ,
list or adding up her lovers or otherwise posting her book

, ,
.
Mrs Veneering is charmed by the humour and so is Veneering

.
,
.
Perhaps it is enhanced by a certain yellow play in L a dy

Ti ppi n s s throat l ike th e legs of scratching poultry
’
, .
I banish the false wretch from this mo m ent and I strik e ,
him out of my Cupidon (my name for my Ledger my dear) ,
this V ery night B ut I am resolved to have the a ccount of

.
the man from Somewhere and I beg you to elicit it for me , ,

“
my love to Mrs Veneering ,
”
as I have lost m y own
.
,
LI G H TWO OD S
’
M ORTIM E R S TORY 2 7
”
influence Oh you perj ured man !
.
,
This to Mortimer ,
with a rattle of her fan .
“
We are all very much interested in the man from Some
where Veneering observes
,
”
.
Then the four Buffers taking heart of gra ce al l four at

,
once say ,
“
Deeply interested
Quite excited
”
Dramatic !
Man from Nowhere perhaps ! ”
And then Mrs Veneering —for L ady Ti ppi n s s winni n g

,
’
.
wiles are contagiou s— folds her hand s in th e m anner of a

supplicating child tu rns to her left neighbour and says
, , ,
Tease ! Pay ! Man from Tu m wh e r e At which the four

Bu ffers again mysteriou sly moved all four at once exclaim
, , ,
You can t resist ! ’
Upon my life say s Mortimer languidly ,

I fin d it , ,
immensely embarrassing to have the eyes of Europe upon me

to this extent and m y only consolation is that y ou will all
,
of you execrate Lady Tippins in your secret hearts when you

find as you inevitably will the man from Somewhere a: b orei
, ,
Sorry to destroy romance by fixing him with a local habita

tion but he comes from the place the name of which escapes
, ,
me but will suggest itself to everybody else h ere where they

, ,
make the wine .
“ ’ ”
Eugene su ggests Day and Martin s .
No n ot that place returns the u nmoved Mortim er

, ,
”
,
that s where they mak e the Port My man comes from the
’
.
country where they make the Cape Wine But look here .
,
old fellow ; it s not at all statistical and it s rath er odd

’ ’
.
It is always n oticeable at the table of the Veneerings that ,
no man troubles himself mu ch about th e Ve n eerings them

selves and that any one who has anything to tell generally
, ,
tells it to anybody else in preference .
“
The man Mortimer goes on addressing Eugene wh ose
, , ,
n am e is Harmon was only son of a tremendou s old rascal

,
who made h i s money by Dust .

”
“
Red V elveteens a n d a bell ? the gloomy Euge n e inquires .
‘
And a ladder and basket if yo u like By which mean s .
,
or by others he grew rich as a Dust Contractor and lived

, ,
i n a hollow in a hilly country e n tirely co m posed of Dust

.
.
On his own small estate the growling old vagabond threw

up his o wn mountain range like an O l d volcan o and it s , ,
geologic al formation was D u st Coal dust vegetable dust .

-
,
-
,
bone dust crockery dust rough dust a n d S ifted dust — all

-
, , ,
manner of Dust .
”
A passing re m embran ce of Mrs Veneering here induces .

,
Mortimer to address his next half do zen words to her ; after

‘
which he wanders away again tries Twemlow a n d finds he ,

’
doesn t answer ul timate ly takes up with the Buffers who
, ,
receive him enthusiastically .
“
The moral being —I believe that s the right expression ’
—o f this exemplary person derived its highest gratification ,
from anathematising his nearest relations an d turning them

out of doors Having begun (as was natural ) by rendering
.
these attentions to the wife of his bosom he next found him ,
self a t leisure to bestow a Similar recognition on the claims

of his daughter He chose a husband for her entirely to his
.
,
own satisfaction and not in the least to hers and proceeded ,

’
to settle upon her as her marriage portion I don t know , ,
how much D u st but something immense At this stage of

, .
the affair the poor girl respectfully intimated that she was
secretly engaged to that p opular character whom the novelists
and v e r s i fie r s call An other and that such a marriage would ,
make D u st of her heart and D u st of her life — i n short would ,

’
set her up on a very extensive scale in her father s business
, ,
.
Im m ediately the venerable parent — on a cold winter s night

,
.
’
it is said — anathe m atised and turned her out .

”
Here the Analy tical Chemis t (who has evidently formed a

,
very low O pinion of Mortimer s story ) concedes a little claret ’
to the B u ffers ; who again mysteriously moved all four at ,
once screw it Slowly into th emselves with a peculiar twist of

,
“
enj oyment as they cry in cho rus
,
Pray go on ,
.
”
The pecuniary resources of Another were as they usually ,
are of a very limited nature I believe I am not using too

,
.
strong an expression when I say that Another was hard up .
However he married the young lady and they lived in a

, ,
hu m ble d welling probably possessing a porch ornamented

,
with honeysuckle and woodbine twining until she died I ,

. .
must refer you to the Registrar of the District in which the

hu m ble d welling was situated for th e certified cause of ,
death ; but early sorrow and anxiety may have h a d to do

with it though they may not appear in the ruled pages and
,
pri n ted forms Indisputably this was the case with Another
. ,
for he was SO cut up by the loss of his young wife that if he

outlived her a year it was as much as he did .
THE STO R Y C O NTINUED 2
9
There is that in the indolent Mortimer which see ms to ,
hint that if good society might on any account allow itself

to be impressible b e one of good so ciety might have the
, , ,
weakness to b e impressed by what he here relate s It is .
hidden with great pains b u t it is in him The gloomy ,

.
Eugene too is not W ithout some kindred touch ; for when

, , ,
that appal li ng Lady Tippins declares that if An other h a d

survive d he should have gone down at the h ea d of her list
,
of lovers — and also when the mature you n g lady shru g s her
epaul e ttes an d laughs at some private and confidential
comment from the ma tu re you n g gentleman —his gloom
,
deepens to that degree that h e tr ifle s quite ferociously wi th

his dessert kn ife -
.
Mortim er proceeds .
“
We must now return as th e novelists say and as we all , ,
wish they wouldn t to the man from Som ewhere Bein g a

’
,
.
boy of fourteen cheaply ed u cati ng at Bru ssels when hi s

,
sister s expulsio n befell it was som e little time before he

’
heard of i t— probably from herself for the mother was dead ,

’
but that I don t know Insta n tly he absconded a n d came .
, ,
over h ere He must have been a boy of spirit an d resource

.
,
to get here on a stoppe d allowance o f five s o n s a week ; but

h e did it somehow and he burst in on his father a n d pleaded
, ,
his sister s cause Venerable parent promptly resorts to

’
.
anathematisation and turns him out Shocked a n d terrified

, .
boy takes flight seeks his fortun e gets aboard ship ultimate ly
, , ,
turn s u p on dry land among the Cape wi n e small propri etor

farmer grower— whatever y ou like to cal l it
,
”
, .
At this j uncture shu ffling is heard in th e hall an d tappi n g

, ,
is heard at the dining ro om door Analytical Chemist goes to -

.
the door confers a n gr il y wi th u nseen tapper appears to become

, ,
m o l l i fie d by descrying reaso n in the tapping an d goes out , .
“
So he was discovered only the other day after having , ,
be en ex patriated about fou rt een years .
A Bu ffer suddenly astound i ng th e other three by detach

, ,
“
ing himself and asserting in dividuality inqu i res :
,
How ,
discovered and why ,

“
Ah ! To be sure Thank you for remin ding m e . .
Vene ra ble parent dies .
Same Bu ffer emboldened by succe ss says : When

, ,
The other day Ten or twelve months ago . .
“
Same Bu ffer inquires with smartness What of ? Bu t ,
herein perishes a melancholy ex ample being regarded by th e

3 0 O UR MU TU A L FRIE N D
three other B u ffers with a stony star e , an el a tt r acting no

further attention from any mortal .
”
Venerable parent Mo r timer repeats with a passing ,
remembrance that there is a Veneering at table and for the ,
first time addressing him dies .

”
“
The gratified Veneering repeats gravely dies and folds , ,
his arms and composes his brow to h e a r i t out in a j udicia l

,
'
manner when he finds himself again deserted in the bleak

,
world .
“
His will i s found says Mortimer catching Mrs Pod , , .
’
snap s rocking horse s eye
’
It is dated very s oon after
-
.
the son s flight It leaves the lowest of the range of dust

’
.
mountains with some sort of a dwelling house at its foot to

,
-
,
an old servant wh o is sole executor and all the rest of the ,
property— which is very considerable — to the son He directs .
himself t o be buried with certain eccentric cerem onies and

precautions against his coming to life with which I need not
bore you and that s all — except
,
,
and this ends the story
’
.
The Analytical Chemist returning eve ry body looks at him ,

.
Not because anybody wants to see him but because of that ,
subtle infl u ence in nature which impel s humanity to embrace

the slightest opportunity of looking at anything rather than ,
the person who addresses it

—
.
Except that the son s inheritanc e is made c onditional ’
on his marrying a girl who at the date of the will was a , ,
child of four or five years old and who is now a marriageable ,
young woman Advertisement and inquiry discovered the son

.
in the man fro m Somewhere and at the present moment he , ,
is on his way home from there —no doubt in a state of great

astonishment—to succeed to a very large fortune and to
,
,
”
take a wife .
Mrs Podsnap inquires whether the young person is a

.
young perso n of personal charms ? Mortimer is unable to

report .
Mr Podsnap I nquires what would become of the very large

.
fortune in the event of the marriage condition not being

, ,
fulfilled Mortimer replies that by Special testamentary ,
clause it would then go to the old servant above m entioned ,
passing over and excluding the son also that if the son had ,
not been living the same old servant would have been sole
,
residuary legatee .
Mrs Veneering has j ust succeeded in waking Lady Tippins

.
from a snore by dexterously shunting a train of plates and

,
C O N C LUSIO N O F THE STO RY 31
dishes at h e r k n u c k l e s across the table when everybody but
Mortimer himself becomes aware that the Analyti cal Chem ist
is in a gh ostly mann er o ffering him a folded paper
, ,
.
Curiosity detains Mrs Veneering a few moments . .
Mortimer in spite of all the arts of the chemist placidly

, ,
refreshes himself with a glass of Madeira an d remain s ,
u nconscious of the document which engrosses the general

attention until Lady Tippins (who has a habit of waking
,
totally insensible) having remembered where Sh e is and

, ,
reco vered a perception of surrounding objects says Falser ,
man than Don Juan why don t you take the note from the ’
Commendatore ? Upon which the chemist advances it under ,
the nose of Mortimer who looks round at h i m, a n d says

,
“ ’ ”
What s this ?
Analytical Chemist bends and whispers .
Wh o says Mortimer .
Analytical Chemist again bends an d whispers .
Mortimer stares at h i m and unfolds the paper Reads it

, .
,
reads it twice turns it over to look at the blank outside

, ,
reads it a third time .
“
This arrives in an extraordinarily opportune man ner ,
says Mortimer then looking with an altered face round the

,
“
table : this is the conclusion of the story of the identical
man .
Already married one guesses .
Declines to marry another guesses .
Codicil among the dust ? another guesses .
‘ “
Why no says Mortimer ; remarkable thing you a re
, .
”
,
all wrong The story is completer and rath e r more exciting

.
’ ”
than I supposed Man s drowned ! .
C H A PT E R III
ANOT HE R MAN
As the disappearing skirts of the ladies ascended th e Ve n e e r i n g

stai r case Mortimer following them forth from the d i ning room,
,
-
turned into a library of bran new books in bran new bindings -

,
-
liberally gilded and requested to see the messenger who had

,
brought the paper He was a boy of about fifteen Mortimer

. .
looked at the boy and the boy looked at the bran new ,
pilgrims on the wall going to Canterbury in more gold ,
frame than procession and mor e carving than country , .
“
Whose writing is this
Mine sir , .
”
Who told you to write it 9

My father Jesse He xa m , .
Is it he who found the body

”
Yes Si r , .
What is you r father ?

The boy hesitated looked reproachfully at the pil grims a s
,
if they had involved him in a little difficulty then said , ,

“
folding a plait in the right leg of his trousers He gets his ,
living along shore -

.
”
Is it far ?
Is which far asked the bo y, upon his guard and again ,
upon the road to Canterbury .
To your father s ’
It s a goodish stretch sir I come up in a cab and the

’
, .
,
'
cab s waiting to be paid We could go back in it before you .
paid it if you liked I went first to your o ffice according to

, .
,
the direction of the papers found in the pockets and there I ,
see nobody but a chap of about my age who sent me on here .
There was a curious mixture in the boy of uncompleted ,
savagery and uncompleted civilisation His voice was hoarse

,
.
and coarse and his face was coarse and his stu nte d figure
, ,
was co a r se ; but he was cleaner than other boys of h i s type

34 O UR M UTU A L FRIEND
and have had no bu siness at all and never Shall have any , .
And if I had I Shouldn t know how to do it

,
’
.
”
“
I a m far from being clear as to the last particular ,
returned Mortimer with great composure that I have much

, ,
,
advantage over you .

”
I hate sa i d Eugene putting his legs u p on the opposite

,
”
,
“
seat I hate my profession
,
.
Shall I incommode you if I put mine up too returned

“ ”
Mortimer Thank you I hate mine
. . . .
0
“ ”
It was forced upon me said the gloomy Eugene , ,
because it was understood that we wanted a barrister in

the family We have got a precious one
. .
”
“ “ ”
It was forced upon me said Mortimer because it was , ,
understood that we wanted a solicitor in the family And .
”
we have got a precious one .
“
There are four of u s with our names painted on a door ,
”
pos t in right of one black hole called a set of chambers ,
“
said Eugene ; and each of us has the fourth of a clerk :
Cassim Baba in the robber s cave —and Cassim is the only

,
’
”
respectable member of the party .
I am one by myself one Said Mortimer high up an , ,

”
,
awful staircase commanding a burial ground and I have a -

,
whole clerk to myself and he has nothing to do but look at ,

-
the burial ground and what he will turn out when arrived at
-
,
maturity I cannot c onceive Whether in that shabby rook s

, .
,
’
nest he is always plottin g wisdom or plotting murd er ;

, ,
whether he will grow up after so much solitary brooding to , ,
enlighten his fellow creatures or to poison them is th e only-

,
speck of interest that presents itself to my professional view .
Will you give me a ligh t ? Thank you .

”
Then idiots talk said Eugene leaning back folding his ,

”
, ,
arms smoking with his eyes Shut and speaking Slightl y

, ,
“
through his nose of Energy If there is a word in the
,
.
dictionary under any letter from A to Z that I abominate ,
it is energy It is such a conventional superstition such

.
,
parrot gabble ! What the deuce ! Am I to rush out into

the S treet collar the first man of a wealthy appearance that
,
‘
I meet shake him and say Go to law upon the Spot you
, , , ,
dog and retain me or I ll be the death of you

,
Yet that
,
’
”
would be energy .
“
Precisely my V iew of the case Eugene But Show me a ,
.
good opportunity Show me somethin g really worth being

,
’
energetic about and I l l Show you energy ,
.
”
AT GA FFE R HEX AMS AB ODE
’
35
An d so will I said Eugene
, .
And it is likely enough that ten thousand other young

men within the limits of th e Lon d on Post offi c e town
,
-
delivery made the same hopeful rema rk i n i h e course of the

,
same evening .
The wheels rolled on and rolled down by the Monument

,
“
and by the Tower and by the Docks ; down by Ratcliffe

, ,
and by Rotherhithe ; down by where a ccumulated scu m of

humanity seemed to be washed from higher grounds like so
’
much moral sewage an d to be pausing u ntil its own weigh t

,
forced it over the bank and su n k it in the river In a n d .
out among vessels that seemed to h ave got ashore a n d ,
houses that seemed to h ave got a floa t— among bowsprits

staring into windows and windows staring into ships— the
,
wheels rolled on until they stopped at a dark corner river

, ,
washed and otherwise not washed at all where the boy ,
alighted and opened the door .
’
You must w a lk the rest sir ; it s not m any yards, He .
Spoke in the singular number to the express exclusion of ,
Eugene .
“
This is a confoundedly out o f the way place Said - - -
,
Mortimer slipping over the ston es and refuse on the shore

, ,
as the boy turned the corner Sharp .
Here s my father s sir ; where the light is

’ ’
, .
The low building had the look of havin g once been a mill .
There was a rotten wart of wood upon its forehead that

seemed to indicate where th e sails had been bu t the wh ole ,
was very indistinctly seen in the obscurity of the night The .
boy lifted the latch of the door and they passed at once into ,
a low circular room where a man stood before a red fir e

, ,
looking down into it and a girl sat engaged in needlework

,
.
The fire was in a rusty bra zier n o t fitted to the h earth and ,
a common lamp Shaped like a hyacinth root smoked a n d

,
-
,
flared in the neck of a stone bottle on the table T h ere wa s .
a wooden bu nk or berth in a corner and in another corner ,
a wooden stair leadin g above — s o clumsy and steep that i t

was little better than a ladder Two or three old sculls and .
oars stood against the wall and against another part of the
,
wall was a small dresser making a spare Show of th e,
commonest articles of crockery and cooking vessels The -

.
roof of the room was not plastered but was formed of the ,
flooring of the room above This being very old knotted

.
, , ,
Seamed and beamed gave a lowering aspect to the c h am ber

, ,
3 6 OUR M U TU A L FRIEND
and roof and walls and floor alike abound i ng in old smears
, , ,
of flo u r red lead (or some such stain which it h a d probably

,
-
acquired in warehousing) and damp al i ke had a look of , ,
decomposition .
The gentleman father ,

.
The figure at the red fir e turned raised its ru ffled head , ,
and looked l i ke a bird of prey .
You re Morti mer Lightwoo d Esquire are you Si r

'
’
, ,
Mortimer Lightwood is my name What you found .

,
said Mortimer glancing rather Shrinkin gly towards the bu n k ;

,
“
is it here
“
Taint not to say here but it s close by I do every
’
,
’
.
’
thing reg lar I ve giv notice of the c i r c u m s ta r n c e to the
’
.
’
police and the police have took possession of it No time

, .
ain t been lost o n any hand The police have put it into
’
,
.
”
print already and here s what the print says of it
,
’
.
Taking up the bottle with the lamp in it he held it near ,
a paper on the wall with the pol ice heading B O D Y FO UND , , .
The two friends read the handbill as it stuck against the wall ,
and Gaffer read them as he held the light .
Only papers on the unfortunate man I see s a id Light , ,
wood glancing from the description of what was found to

, ,
the finder .
Only papers .
Here the girl arose with her work in her hand and went ,
out at the door .
NO money p u i sued Mortimer but threepence I n one

,
of the skirt pockets -

.
”
Thr ee Penny Pieces said Ga ffer He xa m in as many

. .
, ,
sentences .
The trousers pockets empty and turne d in side out ,

.
Gaffer He x a m nodded “
But that s common Whether .
’
.
”
it s the wash of the tide or no I can t say Now here
’ ’
.
, , ,
moving the light to a nother Sim i lar placard his pockets was ,
found empty and turned inside out And here moving the
, .
,
”
ligh t to another h er pocket was found empty and turned , ,

’
inside out An d so was this one s And so was that one s
.
’
. .
I can t read nor I don t want to it for I k n o w em by their

’
,
’
,
’
places o n the wall This one was a sailor with two anchors .
,
a n d a flag and G F T on his arm

’
Look and see if he warn t . . . .
”
Quite right .
This one was the young woman in grey boots and her ,
’ ”
linen marked with a cross Look and s ee if she warn t . .
M ISSI N G , O R FOUND 37
Quite right .
This is hi m as had a n asty cut over the eye This is .
them two young Siste rs what tied themselves together with

a h a n d ke c h e r This is the dru nken ol d chap in a pair of
.
,
list slippers and a nightcap wot had o ffered— i t afterward s ,
come out — to make a hole in the water for a quartern of rum

stood aforehand and kept to his word for the first and last
,
time in his life They pretty well papers the room you see
.
,
but I know em all I m scholar enough

’
.
’
He waved the light over the whole as if to typify the ,
light of his scholarly inte lligence and then put it down ,
on the table and Stood behind it lookin g intently at his

V isitors He had the Special peculiarity of some bird s of
.
prey that when he knitte d his brow his ruffled crest stood
, ,
highest .
“
You did not find all these yourself ; did you ? asked ”
Eugene .
“
To which the bird of prey Slowly rej o i ned And what ,
might y ou r name be n ow ? ,
”
This is my friend Mortimer Lightwood interposed ; ,

”
Mr Eugene W r ay b u rn
. .
Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n is it ? An d what m ight Mr

.
,
'
Eugene W r a y b u rn have asked of me ? ”
I asked you si mply if you fou n d all these yourself ?

, ,
I answer you Simply m ost on em , ,

’
.
DO you suppose there has been much V iolence and

robbery beforehand among these cases ?
, ,
”
“ ”
I don t su ppose at all about it returned Gaffer
’
I , .
’
ain t one of th e supposing sort If you d got your living to .
’
haul out of the river every d a y of you r life you mightn t be ,

’
much given to supposing Am I to S h ow the way .
As h e O pe ned the door in pursuance of a n od from Light ,
wood an extremely pale and disturbed face appeared in the

,
doorway— the face of a man mu ch agitated .
“
A body missing ? asked Gaffer He x a m stopping short ; ,
or a body found Which

“
I am lost ! replied the man in a hu rried an d an eager
”
,
m anner .
Lost ?
I —I — a m a stranger and don t know the way I—I
’
.
,
want to find the place where I can see what is d escribed

here It is possible I may know it
. He was panting and .
”
c ould hardly speak ; but h e showed a copy of the n ewly ,

3 8 O UR M UTU A L FRIEND
printed bill that was S till wet upon the wall Perhaps its .
newness or perhaps the accuracy of his observation of its

,
general look guided Gaffer to a ready conclusion

, .
This gentleman M r Lightwood is on that business . .

,
.
Mr Lightwood ? .
’
During a pause Mortimer and the stranger confronted ,
each other Neither knew t h e other

. .
”
I think sir s aid Mortimer breaking the awkward silence
, , ,
“
with his airy self possession that you did me the honour -
,
”
to mention my name ?
“
I repeated it after this man .
You said you were a stranger in L ondon

An utter stranger .
Are yo u seeking a Mr Harmon ? .
No .
”
Then I believe I can assure you that you are on a fruit

l e ss errand and will not find what you fear to find Will
,
.
you come with u s ?

A little winding through some muddy alleys that might
have been deposited by the la st ill savoured tide brought -
,
them to the wicket gate and bright lamp of a Police Station -
where they found the Night Inspe ctor with a pen and ink -
, ,
and ruler posting up his books in a whitewashed office as

, ,
studiously as if he were in a monastery on the top of a

mountain and no howling fury of a drunken woman were
,
banging herself against a cell door in the back yard at his - -
elbow With the same air of a recluse much given to study

.
,
he desisted fro m his books to bestow a distrustful nod of

“
recognition u pon Ga ffer plainly importing Ah ! we know , ,
all about y ou and you ll ov erdo it some day and to inform

,
’
Mr Mortimer Lightwood and friends that he would attend

.
,
them immediately The n he finished ruling the work he .

,
had in hand (it might have been illu minating a missal he

“
was SO calm) in a very neat and methodical manner showing

, ,
not the slightest consciousness of the woman who was banging

herself with increased violence and shrieking most te r r i fic a l l y ,
for some other woman s liver ’

.
“ ’ ”
A bull s eye said the Night Inspector taking up his
-
,
-
,
“
keys Which a deferential satellite produced
. Now .
,
”
gentlemen .
With one of h i s keys he opened a cool grot at the end of ,
th e yard and they all went in They quickly came out

,
.
again no one Speaking but Eugene ; who remarked to

,
V IEWIN G THE B OD Y 39
“
Mortimer in a whisper ,
Not m u ch worse than Lady ,
'
Tippins .
”
So back to th e whitewashed library of the monastery

with that liver still in shrieking requisition as it had been ,
loudly while they looked at the sil ent sight t hey came to
,
see — and there through the m erits of the case as sum m ed up

by the Abbot No clue to how body came into river Very
. .
often was no clue Too late to k n ow for certain whether

'
.
,
inj uries received before or after death one excellent surgical

opinion said before ; other excellent surgical op i n i o n s a id
,
‘
,
after Steward of ship in which gentleman cam e home

.
passenger had been roun d to V i e w and could swear to

,
'
,
iden tity Likewise cou l d swear to clothes And then you

. .
,
see you had the papers too How was it he h a d totally

, ,
.
disappeared on leav ing Ship till fou n d in river ? Well ! ,
Probably had been upon some little game Probably thought .
it a harmless game wasn t up to things an d it turned Ou t ,

’
a fatal game Inquest to morrow and no doubt open verdict

.
-
, .
“
It appears to have kn ocked you r fr i e n d o v e r — kn ocked '
”
him completely o fi his legs Mr I n spector remarked when ,
.
,
he h a d finished his summing up It has given h i m a b a d

’
'
.
”
turn to be sure ! This was sai d in a very low voice an d ,
with a searching look (not the first he had cast ) at the

stran ger .
Mr Lightwood explained that it was no friend of his

. .
“
Indeed ? said Mr Inspector with a n attentive ear ;
”
.
,
.
where did you pick him up ? ”
Mr Lightwood explai n ed further

. .
Mr Inspector had delivered his summing u p and had

.
,
added these words with his elbows leani n g on his desk an d

, ,
the fingers and thumb of his right hand fitting them selves ,
to the fingers and thumb of his left Mr Inspector moved . .
nothing but his eyes as he now added raising his voice , ,

-
“ ’
Turned you faint Si r ! Seems you re not a ccustomed to ,
this kin d of work

The stranger who was leaning against the chi m ney piece
,
-
with drooping head looked roun d and answered , ,

’
No It s a horrible sight !
.
”
You expected to identify I am told sir ? , ,

”
Yes .
Ha ve you identified
No It s a horrible sight 0 a horrible horrible sight
.
’
.
,
Who did you think it might have been ? asked Mr ”

.
40 O UR MUTU A L FRIEND
Inspector Give us a description sir Perhaps we can help

.
, .
you .
”
“
No no said the stranger ; it would be qui te useless
, , .
Good n ight .
Mr Inspector had not moved and had given n o order ;

.
,
but the satellit e S lipped his back against the wicket an d

, ,
laid his left arm along the top of it and with his right ,
hand turned the bull s eye he had taken from hi s chief— i n ’

-
quite a casual manner— towards the stranger .
You missed a friend you know or you mi ssed a foe you , ,
know ; or you wouldn t have come here you know Well ’
,
.
,
then ; ain t it reasonable to ask wh o was it ?

’
Thus Mr ,
”
, .
Inspector .
You must excuse my telling you No class of man can .
unde rstand better than you that families may n ot choose to ,
publish thei r disagreements and misfortunes except on the ,
last necessity I do not dispute that you discharge you r

.
duty in aski ng me the question ; you will not dispute my

right to withhold the answer Good night . .
”
Again he turned towards the W icket where the satellite , ,
with his eye upon his chief remained a dumb statue ,

.
“ “ ”
At least said Mr Inspector you will not obj ect to
,
.
,
leave me you r card sir ? ,

”
“
I Should not object if I had one but I have not He ,
.
reddened and was much confu sed as he gave the answer .
At least s a id Mr Inspector with no change of voice or

, .
,
“
manner you will not obj ect t o write down your name and
,
address
Not at all .
Mr Inspector dipped a pen in his inkstand a n d deftly laid

.
,
it on a piece of pape r close beside him ; then resumed his

former attitude The stranger stepped up to the desk and .
,
wrote in a rather tremulou s hand — Mr Inspector ta king side .
long note of every hair of his head when it was bent down for
the purpose Mr Julius Handford Exchequ er Coffee House .
, ,
Palace Yard Westminster ,

.
”
“
Staying there I presume sir ? , ,
Staying there .
Consequently from the country

Yes —from the country
,
Eh .
”
”
Good night Si r , .
The sate lli te removed his arm and ope ned the wicket an d ,
Mr Julius Handford went out

. .
was odds if any one could read it And when I wrote Slowest .
and smeared out with my finger most father was best ,

"
pleased as he stood looking over me
,
.
The girl put aside her work and drawing her seat close to ,
his seat by the fire laid her arm gently on his shoulder , .
You ll make the most of your time Charley ; won t

’
,
’
you
“ ’
Won t I Come I like that Don t I .
’
Yes Charley yes You work hard at your learnin g I

, , .
-
know And I work a little Charley and plan and contrive

.
, ,
a little (wake out of my sleep contriving sometimes) how to ,

.
get together a shilling now and a shilli ng then that shall , ,
make father believe you are beginn i ng to earn a stray livi ng

along shore -
.
“
You are father s favourite and can make him be l ieve ’
anything .
”
I wish I could Charley ! F or if I could m a ke h i m believe ,
that learning was a good thing and that we might lead ,

”
better lives I S hould be a m o s t conten t to die
,
’
.
Don t talk stu ff about d ying Liz

’
,
.
”
She placed her hands in one another on his Shoulder an d ,
laying her rich brown cheek against them as Sh e looked down

at the fire went on thoughtfully ,
“
Of an evening Charley when you are at the school and , , ,
father s ’
At the Si x J ol l y F ellowship Porters the boy Struck in

'
-
, ,
with a backward n o d of his head towards the public house -

.
“
Yes Then as I Si t a looking at the fire I seem to see
.
-
,
in the burning coal — like where that glow is now

’ “
That s gas that is said the boy coming out of a bit
, , ,
’
of a forest that s b e en under the mud that was u nder the
water in the days of Noah s Ark Look here ! When I take ’
.
the poker— s o — and give it a dig

“
Don t disturb it Charley or it ll be all in a blaze
’
, ,
’
.
It s that dull glow near it coming and going that I mean

’
, ,
.
When I look at it of an evening it comes like pictures to ,
me Charley
,
.
Show us a picture said the boy Tell us where to ,

.
lo ok .
Ah ! It wants my eyes Charley ,

.
Cut away then and tell us what your eyes make of it ,

.
Why there are you and me Charley when you were

, , ,
quite a baby that never knew a mother

C H A RLE Y HEXAM AND LI ZZ I E 43
Don t go saying I never knew a mother interposed the
’
,
“
boy for I knew a little S ister that was sister and mother
,
both .
The girl laughed delightedly and her eyes filled with ,
pleasant tears as he pu t both his arms round her waist and

,
so held her .
There are you and me Charley when father was away , ,
at work and locked u s out for fear we should set ourselves ,
a fir e or fall out of window sitting on the door S ill Sitti n g ,

-
,
o n other d oor steps sitting on the bank of the river wandering

-
, ,
about to get through the time You are rather heavy to .
carry Charley an d I m often obliged to rest Sometimes we

, ,
’
.
are sleepy and fall asleep together in a corner sometimes we ,
are very hungry sometimes we are a little frightened bu t

, ,
what is oftenest hard upon us is the cold You remember .

,
C h arley ? ”
I remember said th e boy pressing her to him twice or

, ,
“
th rice that I snuggled under a little Shawl and it was
, ,
warm there .
Sometimes it rains an d we creep und er a boat or th e like ,
of that sometimes it s dark and we get among the gaslights ’
, ,
S itting watching the people as they go along the streets At .
last up comes father and takes us home An d home seems

, .
such a shelter after out of doors And father pulls my S hoes

of,
f and dries my feet at the fire and has me to sit by him ,
while he smokes his pipe long after you are abed and I ,
’
notice that father s is a large hand but n ever a heavy one
when it touches me and that father s is a rough voice but ,
’
n ever an angry on e when it Speaks to m e So I grow up .

, ,
and little by little father trusts me and makes me his ,
companion and let him be put out as he may never once

, , ,
strikes me .
”
The listening boy gave a grunt here as much as to say , ,
But he strikes m e though

Those are some of the pictur es of what is past Charley ,
.
Cut away again said the boy and gi ve us a fortune ,

”
tell ing one ; a future one .
“
Well There am I c ontinuing with father a n d holding , ,
to father because father loves me and I love father I can t

, ,
.
’
so much as read a book because if I had learned father , ,
would have thought I was deserting him an d I should have ,
lost my influence I have not the influence I want to have

.
,
I cannot stop some dreadful things I try to stop but I go ,

on in the h O pe and trust that the time wil l come In the .
meanwhile I know that I am in some things a stay to father

and that if I was not faithful to him he would — i n revenge
,
like or in disappointment o r both — g o wild and bad

~
”
, , .
Give us a tou ch of the fortune telling pictures about me .
I was passing on to them Charley said the girl who , ,

”
had not changed h er attitude Since she began and who n ow ,

“
mournfully S ho ok her head the others were all leading u p .
There are you

“
Where am I Liz ,
Still in the hollo w down by the flare .
‘
There seems to be the deu c e and all in the hollow down - -
”
by the flare said the boy glancing from her eyes to the
, ,
brazier which had a grisly Skeleton look on its long thin legs
, .
There are you Charley working your way in secret from , , ,
father at the school ; and you get prizes ; and you go on

better and better ; an d you come to be a —what was it you
,
called it when y o u told me about that ?

Ha ha ! F ortune telling not know the name ! cried the
,
-
”
boy seeming to be rather relieved by this default on the

,
”
part of the hollow down by the flare Pupil teacher .
-
.
“
You come to be a pupil teacher and you still go on -
,
better and better and you rise to be a master full of learning

,
and respect Bu t the secret has come to father s knowledge

.
’
”
long before and it has divided y ou from father and from m e
, , .
’
No it hasn t
Yes it has Charley I see as plain as plain can be that
, .
, ,
your way is not ours and that even if father could be got ,
to forgive you r taking it (which he never could be) that way ,
of yours woul d be dar kened by our way But I see too .

,
Charley ”
“
Still as plain as plain can be Liz asked the boy ,
playfully .
“
Ah ! Still That it is a great work to have cut your
.
way from father s life an d to have made a new an d good ’
beginning So there am I Charley left alone with fathe r

.
, , ,
keeping him as straight as I can watching for more influence ,
than I have and hoping that through some fortunate chance

or when he is ill o r when —I don t kno w what —I may turn
, ,
’
.
h im to wish to do better things .

”
’
You said you couldn t read a book Lizzie Your library ,
.
”
of books is the hollow down by th e flare I think ,
.
I should be very glad to be able to read real books I .

THE C O RO NER
’
S I N Q UE ST 45
feel my want of learning very much , Charley But I Should .
feel it much more if I didn t know it to be a tie between

,
’
.
me and father — Hark ! F ather s tread

.
’
It being now past midnight th e bird of prey went straight ,
to roost At mid day following he reappeared at the Six

.
-
Jolly F ellowship Porters in the character not new to him

-
, , ,
of a witness before a Coroner s Jury ’

.
Mr Mortimer Lightwoo d besides sustaining the chara cter

.
,
of one of the witnesses do ubled the part with that of the ,
eminent solicitor who watched the proceedings on behal f of

-
the representatives of the deceased as was du l y record ed in ,
th e newspapers Mr Inspector watched th e proceedings

. .
too and kept his watch ing closely to himself Mr Julius

,
. .
Handford having given his right address and being reported ,
in solvent circumstances as to h i s bill though not h ing more ,
was known of him at his hote l except that his wa y of life

was very reti red had n o summons to appear and was merely
, ,
present in the shades of Mr Inspector s mind .

’
.
The case was made interesting to the public by Mr ,

.
Mortimer L ightwo od s evidence touching the circumstances

’
under which the deceased Mr John Harmon h a d retur n ed , .

,
to England exclusive private p r oprietorship in which circum

stances was set u p at dinn er tables for several days by -
,
Veneering Twemlow Po dsnap and all the Buffers who all

, , ,
related them irreconcilably with one another and contradicted ,
themselves It was also made interesting by the testimony

.
of Job Potterson the Ship s steward , a n d one Mr Jacob

,
’
.
Kibble a fell ow passenger that th e d eceased Mr John

,
-
,
.
Harmon did bring over in a hand valise with which h e d i d ,

-
disembark the sum realised by th e forced sale of his little

,
landed property and that the sum exceeded in ready m oney

, , ,
seven hundred pounds It was further made interesting by .

,
the remarkable experiences of Jesse He x a m in having rescued

from the Thames so many dead bodies a n d for whose behoof ,
a rapturou s admirer subscribing himself A F riend to Burial

“ ”
(perhaps an undertaker) sent eighteen postage stamps and ,
five Now Si r s to the editor of the Ti m es

”
.
Upon the evidence adduced before them the Jury found , ,
That the body of Mr John Harmon h a d been d iscovered .
floating in the Thames in an advanced state of d ecay and , ,
much injured ; and that the said Mr John Harmon h a d .
come by his death under highly suspicious circu m stances ,
though by whose act or in what precise manner there was

46 O UR MUTU A L FRIE ND
no evidence before this Jury to S how And they appen de d .
to their verdict a recommendation to the Home Office (which

,
Mr Inspector appeare d to think highly sensible) to O ffer a

.
,
reward for the solution of the mystery Within eight an d .

-
forty hours a reward O f One Hundred Pounds was pro

,
claimed together with a free pardon to any person or persons

,
not the actual perpetrator or perpetrators and so forth in ,
due form .
This Proclamation rendered Mr Inspector additionally .
s tudious and caused him to stand meditating on river Stairs

,
-
and causeways and to go lurking about in boats putting

, ,
this and that together But according to the success with

.
,
which you put this and that together you get a woman and ,
a fish apart or a Mermaid in combination And Mr Inspector

,
. .
could turn out nothing better than a Mermaid which no ,
Judge an d Jury would believe i n .
Thus like the tides on w hi ch it had been borne to the

,
knowledge of men the Harmon Murder— as it came to be

,
popularly calle d — went up and down and ebbed and flowed , ,
now i n the town now in the country now among palaces

, , ,
now among h ovels now among lords and ladies and gentle
,
folks now among labourers and hammerers and ballast

,
heavers until at last after a long in terval of Slack water it

, , ,
got out to s e a and drifted away .

C H A PT E R I V
THE R WI L FER
. FAMILY
RE G IN AL D W I L F ER is a name with rather a gr an d sound ,
suggesting on first acquaintance brasses in country chur ches ,
scrolls in stained glass windows and generally the De W i l fe r s

-
,
who came over with the Conqueror F or it is a remarkable .

,
fact in genealogy that no De Any ones ever came ov e r with

Anybody else .
But the Reginald Wilfer family were of such common

,
place extraction and pursuits that their forefathers had for

‘
generations modestly subsisted on the Docks the Excise Ofli c e , ,
and the Custom House and th e existing R Wilfer was a , .
poor clerk So poor a clerk through having a limited salary

.
,
and an unlimited family that he had never yet attained the,
modest obj ect of his ambition which was to wear a complete ,
new suit of clothes hats and boots included at one time

, ,
.
His bl ack hat was brown before he coul d a fford a coat his ,
pantaloons were white at the seams and knees before he

could buy a pair of boots his boots had worn out before ,
he could treat himself to new pantal oons and by the time ,
he worked round to the hat again that shining modern ,
articl e roofed i n an ancient ruin of various periods

-
.
If the convention al Cherub could ever grow up and be

clothed he might be photographed as a portrait of Wilfer
,
.
His chubby smooth innocent appearance was a reason for his

, ,
bein g always treated with condescension when he was not put

down A stranger entering his own poor hou se at about ten
.
o clock P M might have been surprised to find him sitti n g up

’
. .
to supper So boyish was he in his curves and proportions

.
,
that his old schoolmaster meeting him in Cheapsid e migh t ,
have been u n a b l e t o withstand the temptation of caning him

on the Spot In short he was the conventional cherub after
.
, ,
the supposititious shoot j ust mentioned rather grey with , ,
signs of care on his expression and in decidedly insolvent ,
circ u mstance s .
He was shy and unwilling to own to the name o f ,
Reginald as being too aspiring and self assertive a name In

,
-
.
his Signature he u sed only the initial R and imparted what .

,
it really stood for to none but chosen friends under the seal, ,
of confidence Out of this the facetious habit had arisen I n

.
,
the neighbourh ood surroundin g Mincing L ane of making

Christian names for him of adj ectives and participles
beginning with R Some of these were more or less appro .
pr i a te : as Rusty Retiring Ruddy Round Ripe Ridiculou s

, , , , , ,
R u minative ; others derived their point from their want of

application as Raging Rattling, Roaring Ra ffis h But his , ,
.
,
popular name was Ru m ty which in a moment of inspiration ‘
had been b estowed u pon him by a gentleman of convivial .
h abits connected with the drug market as the beginning of a ,
social ch orus his leading part i n the e xecution of which had

.
,
led this gentl eman to the Temple of F ame and of which the
whole expressiv e burden ran
“
Ru m ty i d d i ty , r o w d o w d ow .
Si n g too d l e l y , t e e d l e l y , b ow wow wow .
Thus he was constantly addressed even I n m I n o r notes on ,
business as Dear Ru m ty ; i n answer to which he sedately

, ,
Signed himself
“
You r s tr til y R Wilfer, ,
. .
He was cl erk I n the drug house of Chi c k s e y Veneering and , ,
Sto b b l e s C h i c k s e y and Stob b l e s his for m er masters had

.
, ,
both become absorbed in Veneering O nce their traveller or ,
commission agent : who had Signalised his accession to

supreme power by bringing into the bu siness a quantity of
plate glass wind o w and F rench pol ished mahogany partition
- - -
,
and a gleaming and enormous door plate -

.
R Wilfer locked up his desk one evening and putting his

.
,
bun ch of keys i n his pocket much as if it were his peg top -

,
made for h ome His home was in the Holloway region no r th

.
of L ondon and then divided from it by fields and trees

,
.
Between Battle Bridge and that part of the Holloway district

in which he dwelt was a tract of suburban Sahara where , ,
tiles and bricks were burnt bones were boiled carpets were , ,
beat rubbish was shot dogs were fought and dust was heaped
, , ,
by contractors Skirting the border of this d esert by the

.
,
way he took when the light of its kiln fires made lu r id smears
,
on the fog R W ilfer sighed and shook his head

, . .
“
Ah me ! said he , what might have been is not
what is ! ”
were Many So many that when one of h is duti ful children

.
,
called in to see him R Wilfer generally seemed to say to , .
“
himself after a little mental arithmetic Oh here s another
, ,
’
of em ’
before adding aloud How de do John or S us an , , ,
”
,
as the case might be .
“
Well P i ggy wi ggi e s sa id R W
,
“
how de do to n ight ? ,
. .
,
What I was t hi nking of my dear to Mrs Wilfer already , ,

”
.
“
seated in a corner with folded gl oves was that as we have , ,
let our first floor so well an d as we have now no place in ,
which you could teach pupil s even if pupils ,

‘
The milkman said he knew of two young ladies of th e
highest respectabil ity who were i n search of a suitable
”
establishment an d he took a card i nterposed Mrs Wilfer , , .
,
with severe monotony as if Sh e were readi ng an Act of ,

“
Parliament aloud Tell your father whether it was las t .
”
Monday Bella , .
But we never heard any more of it ma sa id Bella the , , ,
elder gi rl .
“
In add i tion to whi ch my dear her h usband urged if , , ,
you have no place to put two young persons i nto

“ “ ’’
Pardon me Mrs Wilfer aga i n interposed ; they were ,
.
not young persons Two youn g ladies of the highest respecta .
b i l i ty Tell your father Bell a whether the milkman said so

”
.
, , .
“
My dear it is the same thing , .
”
”
No it is not said Mrs Wilfer with the same impress ve , .
,
i
“
monotony Pardon me .
I mean my dear it is the same thing as to space AS

, ,
.
t o Space If you have no space in which to put two youthful

.
fellow creatures however e mi nently respectable which I d o

-
, ,
not doubt where are those youthful fellow creatures to be

,
-
accommodated I carry it n o further than that An d solely .
looking at it said her husband making the stipul ation at

, ,
once in a conciliatory complimentary and argumentative , ,
tone as I am sure you will agree my love — from a fellow ,
c reature point of V iew my dear

”
.
,
“
I have not hi ng more to say retu rned Mrs Wilfer with ,
.
,
“
a m e ek renunciatory action of her gloves It is as you .
think R W , not as I do
. . .
Here the huffing of Miss Bella and the loss of three of

,
her men at a swoop aggravated by the coronation of an ,
opponent led to that young lady S j erking the draught board

,
’
and pieces o ff the table : which her Sister went down on her
knees to pick up .
B ELLA WIL FE R AND L AV INI A S I
Poor Bella s a id Mrs Wilfer . .
”
And poor L avini a perhaps my dear ? suggested R W , , . .
“
Pardon me said Mrs Wi lfer no ,
”
.
,
It was one ofthe wo rth y wo m a n s specialities that she had an ’
amazing power of gratifying her Splenetic or worldly minded -
humou rs by extoll ing her own family : which she thu s

proceeded in the present case to do
, , .
“
No R W Lavinia has not k n own the trial that Bella
,
. .
h as known The trial that your daughte r Bella has u nder

.
gone is perhaps without a parallel an d h a s been borne I

, , , , ,
will say Nobly When you see your daughter Bella in her
, .
black dress which Sh e alone of all th e fam i ly wears and

, ,
when you remember the c i rcumstances which have led to her

wearing it and when you know how those circumstances
,
have been sustained then R W lay your head upon your , ,

. .
,
pill ow and say Poor Lavi ni a ,
Here Miss Lavi nia from her kneeling situation under the
, ,
“
table put in that she didn t want t o be p o o r e d by pa or
,
’
anybody else .
I am sure you do not my dear returned her mother , , ,
for you have a fine brave spirit An d your sister Cecilia has .
a fine brave Spirit of another kind a spirit of pure devotion , ,
a beau ti ful Spirit ! The self s a c r i fic e of Cecili a reveals a

- - -
pure and womanly character very seldom equalled never su r , ,
passed I have now in my pocket a letter from your Sister

.
Cecilia received this morning — received three months after

,
her marriage poor c h ild —i n wh ich she tells me that h e r

,
husban d must unexpectedly Shelter under their roof h i s

‘
reduced aunt But I will be true to him mam m a Sh e
.
, ,
’
touchingly writes I will not leave him I mu st not forget , ,
that he is my husband Let his aunt come ! If this is not .

’
pathetic if this is not woman s devotion

,
The good ’
lady waved her gloves in a sense of the impossibility of

saying more and tied the pocket handkerchief over her head
,
-
in a tighter knot under her chin .
Bella who was now seated on the rug to warm her s elf
, ,
with her brown eyes on the fire and a handful of h e r brown

curls in her mouth laughe d at this and then pouted and , ,
half cried .
“
I am sure said she though you have no feeli n g fo r , ,
me pa I am one of the most unfortunate girls that ever

, ,
li ved You know how poor we are (it is probable he d i d

.
”
,
“
having some reason to know and what a glimpse of
'
wealth I had and h ow it m elted a wa y a n d how I a m here i n

, ,
this ridiculous mourning — which I hate — a kin d of a widow

wh o never was married And yet you don t feel for me .
’
.
Yes you do yes you do ,

.
This abrupt change was occasioned by her father s face ’

.
She stopped to pull him down from his chair in an attitu de

highly favourable to strangulation , and to give him a k i ss
and a pat or two on the cheek .
But you ought to feel fo r me you know pa , ,

.
”
My dear I do ,
.
Yes and I s a y you ou ght to ; If they h a d only left me

,
alone and told me nothing abou t it it wou ld h ave matte red ,
much less But that nasty Mr Lightwood feels it his duty

. .
,
as he says to write and tell me what is in reserve for me

, ,
and then I am obliged to get rid of George Sampson .

”
Here Lavinia r i s i n g to the surface with the last drau ght

, v
“
man rescued interposed You never cared for George
, ,
”
Sampson Bella ,
.
“
An d did I say I did miss ? Then pouting again with , , ,
“
the curls in her mouth : George Sampson was very fon d of
me and admired me very much and put up with everythin g
, ,
”
I did to him .
“
You were rude enough to him L avinia again interposed ,
.
’
And did I say I wasn t miss ? I am not setting up to ,
be sentimental about George Sampson I only say George .
Sampson was bette r than nothing .

”
“
You di d n t show him that you thought even that
’
Lavinia again interposed .
“ “
You are a chit and a little idiot returned Bella or , ,
y ou wouldn t make such a dolly speech What did you

’
.
expect me to d o ? Wait till you are a woman and don t ,

’
talk about what you d on t understand You only Show you r ’

.
ignorance Then whimpering again and at intervals biting ,
t h e curls and stopping to look how m u ch was bitten o ff

, ,
“ ’
It s a shame ! There never was such a hard case ! I
’
shouldn t care so much if it wasn t so ridiculous It was
’
.
ridicul ous enough to have a Stranger coming over to marry

me whether he liked it or n ot It was ridiculous enough to
,
.
know what an embarrassing meeting it would be and h ow we ,
never could pretend to have an inclination of our own either ,

’
of us It was ridiculous enough to know I shouldn t like

.
.
him — how c ou ld I like him left to him in a will like a ,
dozen of spoons with everything ou t and dried beforehand

, ,
A K IND O F WIDOW
53
like orange chip s ? Talk of orange flowers indeed ! I declare
again it s a shame ! Those ridiculou s point s would have
’
'
been smoothed away by the money fo r I love money and

want money—want it dreadfully I hate to be p o or and
, ,
-
r .
,
'
we are degradingly poor o fle n s i v e l y poor miserably poor , , ,
beastly poor But here I am left with all the ridiculous

.
,
parts of the situation remaining and added to them all this , ,
ridiculous dress ! And if the truth was known when the ,
Harmon murder was all over the town and people were ,
speculating on its being suicide I dare say those impudent ,
wretches at the clubs and places made j okes about the

miserable creature s having preferred a watery grave to me
’
.
’
It s likely enough they took su ch liberties ; I Shoul d nt
’
wonder ! I declare it s a very hard case i ndeed an d I am a ’
most unfortunate girl The idea of being a kind of widow .

,
and never having been married ! And the idea of being as

poor as ever after all and going into black besides for a , , ,
man I never saw and Should have hated — as far as h e was

,
c oncerned — if I had seen ! ”
’
The young lady s lamentations were choked at this point by
a knuckle knocking at the half ope n door of the room The
,
-
.
knu ckle had kn ocked two or three times already but had not ,
been heard .
“
Who is it ? said Mrs Wilfer in her Act of Parliament .
,
- -
“ ”
manner . Enter !
A gentleman coming in Miss Bella with a short and sharp , ,
exclamation scrambled off the hearth rug and massed the

,
-
bitten curls together in their right place on her neck .
The servant girl h ad her key in the door as I came up ,
and directe d me t o this room telling me I was expected I ,

.
am afraid I Should have asked h e r to announce me .

”
“ ” “
Pardon me returned Mrs Wilfer ,
Not at all Two . . .
of my daughters R W this I s the gentleman who has

. . . ,
taken your fir s t flo o r He was so good as to make an

-
.
”
appointment for to n ight when you would be at home
‘
.
,
A dark gentleman Thirty at the utmost An expressive . .

,
one might say handsome face A very bad manner In the ,

. .
last degree constrained reserved d iffid e n t troubled His , , ,

.
’
eyes were on Miss Bella for an instant and then looked at ,
the ground as he addressed the master of the h ouse .
“
Seeing that I am quite satisfied Mr Wilfer with the ,
.
,
rooms and with their situation and with their price I sup
, , ,
pose a memorandum between us of two or three l i n es a nd , _

54 O UR M U TU A L F RIEND
a payment down will bind the bargain

-
,
I wish to send i n -
”
furniture without delay .
Two or three times during this short address the cherub

'
addressed had made chubby motions t owards a chair

‘
The .
gentleman now took it laying a hesitating hand on a co rner

,
of the table and with another hesitating hand lifting the

,
c r own of his hat to his lips and drawing it before his mouth , .
“ “ ”
The gentleman R W said Mrs Wilfer proposes to
,
. . .
,
take your apartments by the quarter A quarter s notice on .

’
either side .
”
Shall I mentio n Si r insinuated the landlord expecting

, , ,
“
it to be received as a matter of course the form of a ,
reference
“ “
I think returned the gentleman after a paus e that a
, , ,
r eference is not necessary ; neither to say the truth i s it , ,
convenient for I am a s tranger in London I requi re no

, .
reference from you and perhaps therefore you will require

, , ,
none from me That will be fai r on both sides Indeed

. .
,
I S how the greater confidence of the two for I will pay in ,
advance whatever you please and I am going to trust my ,
f u rniture here Whereas if you were in embarrassed cir

c u m s ta n c e s —this is merely supposititious
.
,
Conscience causing R Wilfer to colour Mrs Wilfer from .

,
.
,
a corner (Sh e always got i n to s ta te l y corners ) came to the

“
rescue with a deep toned Per fe c tl y - -
.
”
Why then I — might lose it .

”
Well ! obse rved R Wilfer cheerfully money and .

, ,
. .
goods are certainly the best of references .
Do you think they a r e the best pa ? asked Miss Bella ,

”
in a low voice and without looking over h e r s h ou ld e r as she

,
warmed her foot on the fender .
“ ”
Among the best my dear , .
I S hould have thought myself it was so easy to add the , ,
usual kind of o n e said Bella with a toss of her curls

, ,
.
The gentleman listened to her with a face of marked ,
attention though he neither looked up nor changed his atti

,
tu de He sat still and Silent until his future landlord

.
, ,
accepted his proposals an d brought writing materials to ,
complete the business He sat still a n d silent while the

.
, ,
landlord wrote .
When the agreement was ready in duplicate (the l andlord

having worked at it like some cherubic scribe in what is ,
conventionally called a doubtful which means a not at all ,

W I T NE SS IN G THE AG REE MEN T
5 8 O UR MUTU A L FR I END
This was a neat and happy turn to give the subject treats ,
being rare in the Wil fer househol d where a monotonous ,

-
appearance of Dutch cheese at ten o clock in the evening ’
had b een rather frequently c ommented on by the dimpled

shoulders of Miss Bella Indeed th e modest D utchma n .
,
himself seemed conscious of hi s want of variety and generally ,
came before the family in a state of ap ologetic perspiration .
After some discussion on the relative merits of veal cutlet -

,
s weetbread an d lobster a decision was pronounced in favour

, ,
of veal outlet Mrs Wilfer then solemnly divested herself of

-
. .
her handkerchief and gloves as a preliminary sacrifice to ,
preparing the frying pan and R W himself went out to -

, . .
purchase the viand He soon retu rned bearing the same in

.
,
a fresh cabbage leaf where it coyly embraced a ra sher of

-
,
ham . Melodious sounds were n ot long in rising from the

frying pan on the fire or in see mi ng as the fir e li gh t danced
-
, ,
in the mellow halls of a couple of full bottles on the table ,
to play appropriate dance music -

.
The cloth was laid by La vvy Bella as the acknowledged .

,
ornament of the family employed both her hands in giving ,
her hair an additional wave while sitt i ng i n the easiest chair ,
and occasionally threw in a direction touching the supper

“ “
as, Very b rown ma ; or to her sister ,
Put the salt ”
, ,
”
cellar straight miss and don t be a dowdy little puss
, ,
’
.
Meantime her father ch inking Mr Rok e s m i th s gold as ,

.
’
he sat expectant between his knife and fork remarked that ,
six of those sovereigns came j ust in time for their landlord ,
and Stood them in a little pile on the white table cloth to -
look at .
I hate our lan dlord ! said Bella ”

.
But observing a fall in her father s face she went and sat ’
down by h i m at the table a n d began touching up his hair ,
with the handle of a fork It was one of the girl s spoil t .

’
ways to be always arrangi ng the family s h air— perhaps ’
because her o wn was so pretty and occupied so mu ch of her ,
attention .
“ ’
Y o u deserve to have a house of you r own ; don t you ,
poor pa ?
“ ’
I don t deserve it better than another my dear ,
.
At any rate I for one want it more than another said

, , ,
B ella holding him by the ch i n as she Stu ck his fla xe n hair

, ,
“
on end and I grudge this money going to the Monster th a t
,
swallows up so much when we all want— Everything And ,

.
A TRE AT FO R SU PP E R 59
if you say (as you want to say I know you want to say so ,
‘ ’
pa ) that s ne ither reasonable nor honest Bella then I
’
answer Maybe not p a — very l i k e l y —

, ,
‘
,
but it s one of th e
,
r
’
consequences of being poor an d of thoroughly hating and ,
detesting to be poor and that s my case Now you look

,
’
.
’
,
’
lovely pa why don t you always wear you r hair like that
,
And here s the cutlet If it isn t very brown ma I can t eat

’ ’
, ,
’
”
it and must have a bit put back to be done expressly
,
.
'
However as it was brown even to Bella s taste the yo ung
, , ,
lady graciously partook of it without reconsignmen t to the

frying pan and also in due course of the contents of the
-
, , ,
two bottles whereof one held Scotch ale and the other rum .
The latter perfume with the fostering aid of boil ing water
,
and lemon peel d i fiu s e d itself throughout the room an d

-
, ,
be came so highly concentrated around the warm fireside ,
that the wind passing over the house roof must have rushed -
O ff charged with a delicious wh i ff of it after buzzing like ,
a great bee at that particular chimney pot -

.
Pa said Bella sipping the fragrant mixture and warm

, ,
“
ing her favou rite ankle when ol d Mr Harmon made such .
a fool of me (not to mention himself as he is dead) wh at do ,
you suppose he did it for ?

“
Impossible to say my dear As I have tol d you times , .
out of number since his will wa s brought to light I doubt if ,
I ever ex changed a hundred words with the old gentleman .
If it was his whim to surprise us his whim succeeded F or ,

.
he certainly did it .
”
“
And I was stamping my foot and screamin g when he ,
first took notice of me ; was I ? said Bella contemplating ”

,
the ankle before m entioned .
“
You were stamping your little foot my dear and scream , ,
ing with your little voice and laying into me with your ,
”
little bonnet which you had snatched O ff for the purpose
, ,
returned her father as if the remembrance gave a relish to

,
the rum you were doing this one Sunday morning when
I took you out because I didn t go the exact way you wanted
,
’
,
‘
when the old gentleman Sitting on a seat near S aid That s
’
, , ,
’
a nice girl that s a very nice girl promising girl ! And so
’
you were my dear

, .
”
“
And then he asked my name did he pa ? , ,
Then he asked your n ame my d ear and mine ; and on , ,
other Sunday mor nings when we walked his way we saw , ,
him again and — and really that s all

,
’
.
”
AS that was all the ru m and wate r ,

to o , r in oth e r
o ,
words as R W delicately sign i fied that his glass was empty

,
. .
by throwing back his head and S tanding the glass upside

down on his nose and upper lip it might have b een charit ,
able i n Mrs Wilfer to suggest replenishment But that

. .
“
heroine briefly suggesting Bedtime instead the bottles ”
were put away and the family retir e d ; she cherubically

,
escorted like some severe saint in a painti ng o r merely

, ,
human matron allegorically treated .
“
And by this time to morrow said L avinia when the -
,
”
two girls were alone in their room we Shall have Mr , .
Ro k e s m i th here an d shall be expecting to have ou r throats

'
cut .
”
’
You needn t stand be tween me and the candle for all
that retorted Bella
,
This is another of the consequences
.
of being poor The idea of a girl with a reall y fine head of

hair having to do it by one flat candle and a few inches of
,
looking glass -
“
You caught George Sampson with it Bella bad as you r , ,
means of dressing it are .

”
You low little thing Caught George Sampson with it .
Don t talk abou t catching people miss til l your own time
’
, ,
for catc h i ng — as you call i t— comes .

”
“
Perhaps it has come muttered La v vy with a toss of , ,
he r head .
“ “
What did you say asked Bella very Sharply What ,
.
did you say miss ,
La v v y declining equally to repeat or to explain Bella ,
gradually lapsed over her hair dressing into a soliloqu y on -
the miseries of being poor as exemplified in having nothing ,
to put on nothing to go out in nothing to dress by only

, , ,
a nasty box to dress at instead of a commodious dressi n g

table and being ob l iged to take in suspicious lodgers On
,
.
the last grievance as her cl i max S h e laid great stress — and

might have laid greater had she known that if Mr Julius ,
.
Handford had a twin brother upon earth Mr John Roke ,

.
smith was the man .

CH A PT E R V
BOFFIN BOWE R
’
S
O V ER against a London house , corner house not far from -
Cavendish Square a man with a wooden leg had sat for some
,
years with his remaining foot in a basket in cold weather ,
picki ng up a liv ing on this wise — Every morning at eight

,
O clock , he stumped to the corner carry ing a chair a clothes

’
, ,
horse a pair of trestles a board a basket an d an umbrella

, , , ,
all strapped together Separatin g these the board and .

,
trestles becam e a counter the basket supplied the few small ,
lots of fruit and sw e ets that he o ffered for sale upon it and
became a foot warmer the u nfolded clothes horse d isplayed
-
,
-
a choice collection of halfpenny ballads and became a screen ,
and the stool planted within it became his post for the res t
of the day All weathers saw the man at the post This is
. .
to be accepted in a double sense for he contrived a back to ,
h i s wooden S tool by placing it against the lamp post When -

.
t he weather wa s wet he put up his u mbrella over hi s stock

,
i n trade not over himself ; when th e weather was dry he

-
,
.
furled that faded article tied it round with a piece of yarn , ,
and laid it cross wis e under the trestles where it looked like
-
an unwholesomely forced lettuce that had lost in colour and

-
crispness what it had gained in size .
He had established his right to the corner by imperceptible

prescription He had n ever varied his ground an i nch bu t
.
,
had in the beginn i ng d i ffid e n tl y taken the corner upon which

the side of the house gave A howling corner in th e win te r .
time a dusty corner in the summer time an undesi rable

, ,
corner at the best of times Shelterless fragments of straw .
and paper got up revolving storms there when the main ,
S tree t was at peace ; and the water cart as if it were drunk -

,
or short sighted came blundering and j olting round it

-
, ,
m a king it muddy when all else was clean .
On th e front of his sale board hung a little placard like -

,
62 O UR MUTUA L FRIEND
a kettle holder bearing the inscription in his own

-
,
s ma l l
text :
E r r a n d s gone
On wi th fi
Del i ty By
La d i e s a nd G en tlemen
I r ema i n
You r h u m ble Ser v
Si la s Wegg .
He had not only settled it with himself in the cou rse of time ,
that he was errand goer by appointment to the house at the

-
corner (though he received such commissions not h a lf a dozen - -
times in a year and then only as some s ervant s deputy) but

,
’
,
’
also that he was one of th e h ouse s retainers and owed
vassalage to it and was bound to leal and loyal interest in it .
“
F or this reason he always spoke of it as Our House and
, , ,
though his knowledge of its a ffairs was mostly Speculative

and all wrong claimed to be in its confidence On sim ilar
,
.
grou nds he never beheld an inmate at any one of its windows

but he touched his hat Yet he k n ow so little abou t the
.
,
inmate s that he gave them names of his own invention : as

“ “ “ “ ”
Miss Eli zabeth Master George
,
”
Au nt Jane, Uncle ,
”
Parker — having no authority whatever for any such des igna

tions but particularly the last — to which as a natural con
, ,
sequence he stuck with great obstinacy

, .
Over the house itself he exercised the same imaginary,
power as over its inhabitants and their affairs He had never .
bee n in it the length of a piece of fat black water pipe

,
-
which trailed itself over the area door into a damp stone
passage and had rather the air of a leech on the house that
,
“
had taken wonderfully ; but thi s was no impediment to
his arranging it according to a plan of his own It was a .
great din g y house with a quantity of dim Side win dow and .
blank back premises and it cost his m i nd a world of troubl e

,
so to lay it out as to account for everything in its external

appearance But this once done was quite satisfactory and
. , , ,
he rested persuaded that he knew his way about the house

blindfold : from the barred garrets in the high roof to the ,
two iron extinguishers before the main door— which seemed

to request all lively V isitors to have the kindness to put
themse lves out, before entering .
S IL A S W E G G AND HI S STA LL 63
Assuredly this stall of Silas W e g g s was the h ardest little

,
’
stall of all the sterile little stalls in London It gave you .
the face ache to look at his app l es the stom ach ache to look
-
,
-
at his oranges the tooth ache to look at his nuts Of th e

,
-
.
latter commodity h e had always a grim little heap on w h ich ,
lay a little wooden me asure which had no discernible inside ,
and was considered to represent the pen n orth appointed by ’
Magna Charta Whether from too much east wind or no

it was an easterly co rner—th e stall the stock and the
.
, ,
keepe r were all as dry as the Desert W e g g was a knotty

,
.
man and a close grained with a face carv ed out of very

,
-
,
hard material that had j u st as much play of expression as a

,
’
watchma n s rattle When h e laughed certain j erks occurred
.
,
in it and the rattle sprung Sooth to s a y he was so wooden

,
.
,
a m a n that he seemed to have taken his wooden l e g n atu rally .
and rather suggested to the fan ciful obse rv er that h e m igh t

be expected —i f his developm ent rece ived no u nti m ely check
,
to be completely set Up with a pair of wooden legs in

about six months .
Mr W e g g was an observant person or as he him self said

. . .
,
took a powerful sight of notice He saluted a l l h i s ” '
regular passers b y every day as h e sat on his stool backed

-
,
up by the lamp post ; an d on the adaptable character of

-
these salutes he greatly plumed him self Thus to the rector .

, ,
he addressed a bow compounde d of lay deference and a , ,
S light touch of the shady pre l iminary meditation at chu rch
to the doctor a confidential bow as to a gentleman wh ose

, ,
acquaintance with his inside he begged respectfully to

acknowledge before the qu al ity he delighted to abase him
self ; and for Uncle Parker who was i n the army (at least , ,
S O he had settled it) h e put his open hand to the side of his
,
hat in a mi litary manner which that angry eyed buttoned u p

,
- -
i n fla m m a to r y faced old gentleman appeared but imperfectly

-
to appreciate .
The only article in which Silas dealt that was not hard , .
was gingerbread On a certain day some wretched infa nt

.
,
having purchased the damp gingerbread horse (fearfully out -
of con d ition ) and the adhesive bird cage which had been
,
-
,
’
exposed for the day s sale he had taken a tin box from ,
under his stool to produce a relay of those dreadful

specimens and was going to look in at the lid when h e
, ,
“
said to himself pausing : Oh ! Here you are again !
,
-
”
The words referred to a broad round shouldered one ,

-
,
64 OUR M UTU A L F RIE ND
S ided old fello w in mourning comi ng comica ll y ambling ,
towards the corner dressed in a pea overcoat and carrying a , ,
large stick He wore thick shoes and thick leather gaiters

.
, ,
’
and thick gloves like a hedger s Both as to his dress and .
to himself he was of an overla pping rhinoceros build with

, ,
folds i n his cheeks and his forehead and his eyelid s and his , , ,
lips and his ears but with bright eager childishly inqui ring
, , ,
-
grey eyes under his ragged eyebrows and broad brimmed

, ,
-
hat A very odd looking old fellow altogether

.
-
.
Here you are again repeated Mr W e gg m using ,

”
.
, .
And what are you n o w ? Are you in the P un u s or where ,
are you Have you lately come to settle i n this neighbour

hood or do yo u own to another neighbourhood ? Are you
,
r
in in dependent circumstances o r is it wasting the motions of ,
a bow o n y ou ? Come ! I ll speculate ! I ll invest a bow ’ ’

.
in you .
”
Which Mr W e gg having replaced his tin box accordingly

.
, ,
did as he rose to bait his gingerbread trap for some other

,
-
devoted infant The salute was ackn owledge d with .
“ ”
Morning Si r ! Morning ! Morning ! ,
( Calls m e Si r ! said Mr W e gg to himself

“ “
He won t ”
. .
’
answer A b o w gone .
”
Morning morning morning ! , ,
’
Appears to be rather a arty old cock to o said Mr , , .
W e g g as before ,
“
Good morning to y ou sir .
,
.
”
“
Do you remember me then ? asked his new acquaint ,
”
ance stopping in his amble one sided before the stall and
, ,
-
, ,
speaking in a pouncing way though with great good ,
humour .
I have noticed you go past our house sir several times , ,
i n the course of the last week or so .
Our house repeated the other Meaning, .
Yes said Mr W e gg nodding as the other pointed the

, .
, ,
clumsy forefinger of his right glove at the corner house .
Oh Now what pursued the o l d fellow in an inquisitive

, , ,
manner carrying his knotted stick in his left arm as if it

,
were a baby what do they allow you now ? ,

“ '
It s j ob wo rk that I do for our house returned Silas ,

’
,
”
“
drily and with reticence
, it s not yet brought to an exact ’
allowance .
”
Oh It s not yet brought to an exact allowance

’
No !
’
It s not yet brought to an exact allowance Oh — Morning .
,
morning morning ! ,
66 OUR MUTU A L FRIEND
I want to make a sort of Offer to you Do you remember .
when yo u first see me

The wooden leg looked at h im with a meditative eye and ,
“
also with a softened air as descrying possibil ity of profit Let .
me think I ain t quite sure and yet I generally take a

.
’
powerful sight of notice too Was it on a Monday morning ,

.
,
when the butcher boy had been to our house for orders and -
,
bought a ballad of me which bein g unacquainted with th e , ,
tune I run it over to h i m

,
“
Right W e gg right ! But he bought more than one
, , .
Yes to be sure sir ; he bought several ; and wishing to

, ,
lay out his money to the best he took my opinion to guide ,
his choice a n d we went over the collection together To be

, .
sure we did Here was hi m as it might be and here was

.
,
myself as it might be a n d th e r e was you Mr Bo ffin as you , ,

.
,
identically are with your se l f same stick u nder your wery ,

-
same arm and your wery same back towards us To — b e

sure ! added Mr W e gg looking a little round Mr Bo ffin
.
,
” '
. .
, ,
to take him in the rear and i d e n tify t h i s last extraordinary ,

“ ”
coincidenc e your wery self same back ! ,
-
What do you think I was do i ng W e gg ? ,
I should j udge sir that you mi ght be glancing your eye , ,
down the street .

”
No W e gg I was a listening
, . .
Was you indeed said Mr W e g g dubiously , .

,
.
Not i n a di shonourable way W e gg because you was , ,
singing to the butcher ; and you wo u ldn t sin g secrets to a ’
butcher in the street you know , .

”
“
It never happened that I did so yet to the best of my ,
remembrance said Mr W e gg cautiously ,

But I might
’
.
,
.
do it A man can t say what he might wish to do some d a y

.
’ “
or another (This not to release any little advantage he

.
”
,
might derive from Mr Boffin s avowal ) .

’
.
“ “
Well repeated Bo ffin I was a li steni n g to you and to
,
”
him And what do you — you haven t got another stool have
.
’
,
’
you ? I m rather thick in my breath .
“
I haven t got another but yo u re welcome to this said
’
,
’
W e g g resigning it
,
“
It s a treat to me to Stand .
’
.
“ ”
Lard ! exclaimed Mr Boffin in a tone of great e n j oy .
,
ment as he settled himself down still nursing his stick lik e

, ,
“
a baby it s a pleasant place this ! And then to be Shut
,
’
in on each side with these ballads like s o many book leaf , ,

-
blinkers ! W h y it s delightful ! ,
’ ”
A LITE RA RY MAN 67
If I am not mistaken sir Mr W e gg delicately hinted , , .

,
resting a hand on his stall and bending over the discursive ,

.
Bofli n
“
you allude d to some o ffer or another that was in
,
”
your mi n d ?
“
I m coming to it ! Ml right I m comin g to it ! I
’
.
’
was going to say that when I listened that morning I ,
listened with h a d m i r a ti on amounting to haw I thought .
to myself Here s a man with a wooden leg — a literary man

‘
,
’
.
with
‘
N— not exactly so Si r said Mr W e gg , ,
. .
Why you know every one of these songs by name and

,
by tune an d if you want to read or to sing any on e on em

,
’
’
o ff straight you ve only to whip on your Spectacles and do
,
it cried Mr Boffin I see you at it ! . .

”
“
Well sir retu rned Mr W e g g with a conscious inclina
, , .
,
’ ”
tion of the head we ll S a y literary then ,
.
‘
A literary man —wi th a woo d en leg— and all Print is ’
’
open to him ! That s what I thought to myself that ’
,
morning pursued Mr Boffin leaning forward to describe

,
.
, ,
u ncramped by the clothes horse as large an arc as his -

,
“ ‘ ’
right arm could make ; all Print is open to him ! And
it is aint it ?
,
“
Why truly sir Mr W e gg admitted with modesty
,
“
,
I ,
.
believe you couldn t Show me th e piece of English print that ’
,
”
I wouldn t be equal to collaring an d throwing
’
.
“
On the Spot said Mr Boffin . .
On the spot .
I k n ow d it ! Then consider this Here am I a

’
.
,
man without a wooden leg and yet all print is Shut to ,

99
Indeed sir Mr W e gg returned with increasing self

,
? ”
.
“
complacency E ducation neglected .
“
Neg — l e c te d ! repeated Bo ffin with emphasis That ”
,
.
’ ’
ain t no word for i t I don t mean to say but what if you . ,
S howed me a B I could s o far give you change for it as to _
answer Boffin .
“
Come come sir said Mr W e g g throwin g in a littl e
, , ,
.
,
“ ’
encouragement that s something too , , .
“ “
It s something answered Mr Bo ffi n
’
but I ll take my ,
”
.
,
’
oath it ain t much ’

.
”
“
Perhaps it s not as much as could be wished by an i n ’
quiring mind sir Mr W e gg admitted , ,

”
. .
“ ’
Now lo ok here I m retired from business Me and
, . .
68 O UR MUTU A L F RIEND
Mrs Boffin — He n e r i e tty Boffin — which her father s name was

.
’
Henery and her mother s name was Hetty an d so you get ’
i t—we live on a c om pi tta n c e , under the will of a diseased

, ,
”
governor .
“
Gentleman dead Si r ? ,
’
Man alive don t I tell you ? A diseased governor ? ,
’
Now it s too late for me to begin shovelling and sifting at
,
a l p h a b e d s and grammar books

’
I m getting to be a old bird -
.
,
and I want to take it easy But I want some reading — some .
fine bold reading some Splendid book in a gorging L ord ,

.
Mayor s Show of wo l l u m e s (probably meaning gorgeous but

’
-
”
,
misled by associatio n of ideas) a s l l reach right down your

’
pint of V iew and take time to go by you How can I get

, .
that reading W e gg ? By tapping him on the breast with , ,

”
“
the head of his thick stick paying a man truly quali fied ,
to do it so much an hour (say twopence) to come and do it

,
.
Hem ! F lattered sir I am sure said W e gg beginnin g , , ,

”
,
“
to regard himself in quite a new light Hem This is the .
o ffer you mentioned Si r ,

“
Yes Do you like it ? .
I am considering of it Mr Bo ffin ,
. .
I don t said Boffin in a free handed manner , want to

’ ”
-
tie a literary man —wi th a wooden leg— down too tight A

, ,
halfpenny an hour shan t part us The hours are your own ’

.
to choose after you ve done for the day with your house
,
’
here I live over Maiden Lane way— out Holloway direction

.
— and you ve only got to go East and b y North when you ve

’
- - -
’
’
finished here and you re there Twopence halfpenny an ,
.
hour said Bofi n taking a piece of chalk from his pocket

,
”
,
and getting O ff the stool to work the sum on the top of it in

his own way “
two l on g u n s and a Sh or t u n — twopence half ’ ’
penny two s h or t u n s is a l on g u n and two two l o n g u n s is ’ ’
,
’
four l o n g u n s — making five l on g u n s ; s i x nights a week at

’ ’
five l o n g u n s a night scoring them all down separately

’
, ,
and you mount up to thirty l on g u n s A r ou n d u n ! ’

.
’
Half a crown
- -
Pointing to this result as a large and satisfacto ry one Mr , .
Bo ffin smeared it out with his moistened glove and sat down ,
on the remains .
Half a crown said W e g g meditating Yes (It ain t

’
- - .
.
, ,
much Si r ) Half a crown

,
.
- -
.
”
“ ”
Per week you know ,
.
Per week Yes As to the amount of strain upon the . .

’
MR B O FFI N . S O FFER 69
intell ect now Was you thinking at all of p oetry
. Mr ? ”
.
W e gg inqu i red musing , .
“
Would it come dearer Mr Boffin asked . .
It would come dearer Mr W e gg ret u rned F or ,

”
. .
wh en a perso n comes to grind o ff poetry night after night ,
it is but right he Should expect to be paid for its weakening

”
effect on his mind .
“
To tell you the truth W e g g said Bo ffin “
I wasn t ’
thinki n g of poetry except in so fur as this —

, , ,
I f you was to ,
happen now and then to feel yourself in the mind to tip me

an d Mrs Bo ffin one of you r ballads why then we Should
.
,
”
drop into poet r y .
“
I fo l low you Si r said W e gg But not bein g a regular
, ,
.
musical professional I S hould be loath to engage myself ,
fo r that a n d therefore when I dropped into poetry I should ,
ask to be considered in the light of a friend .
At this Mr Boffin s eyes sparkled an d he Shook Silas

, .
’
earnestly by the hand protesti ng that it was more than he

could have asked and that he took it very kindly indeed ,
.
“
What do you think of the terms W e g g ? Mr Bo ffin ,
”
.
th en demanded with unconcealed anxiety , .
Sil as who had stimulated this anxiety by his hard reserve

,
of m anner and who had begun to understan d his man very

,
well replied with an air ; as if he were saying something

,
extraordinarily generous a n d great

“
Mr Bo ffin I never bargain
.
, .
”
SO I should have thought of you ! said Mr Bo ffin

”
.
,
admir ingly .
“
N 0 Si r I never did a g gl e a n d I never w i ll a ggle
, .
’ ’
.
Consequently I meet you at once free and fair, with— Don e ,
for double the money ! ”
Mr Boffin seemed a little u nprepared for this conclusion

.
, ,
but assented with the remark “

You know better what it
, ,
ought to be than I do , W e gg and again shook hands with ,
him upon it .
Could you begin t o night W e gg he then demanded -

,
.
Yes Si r said Mr W e gg careful to leave all the eager

, ,
”
.
,
“
ness to him I see no difficulty if you wish i t You are
. .
provided with the needful implement — a book Si r ,

“
Bought him at a sale said Mr Boffin “
Eight wol l u m e s ,
”
. . .
Red and gold Purple ribbon i n every wol l u m e to keep the

.
,
place where you leave o ff Do you know him ? .
The book s name Si r inquired Silas

’
, .
7 0 OU R MUTU A L F RIE ND
I thought you m ight have k n ow d him without it said ’
Mr Bo ffin Slightly disappointed

.
,
His name is Decline a nd .
-
F all O ff The Roos h a n Empire

- -
(Mr Bo ffin wen t over these
- -
.
”
.
S tones slowly and with much caution ) .
“
Ay indeed ! said Mr W e gg nodding his head with an ”
.
,
air of friendly recognition .
“
You know h i m W e gg ? ,
’
I haven t been not to say right Slap through him very ,
lately Mr W e g g made answer

,
“
having been otherways
.
,
employed Mr Bo ffin But know him Old familiar declining

,
. .
and falling off the Ro os h a n Rather sir ! Ever Since I was ,
not SO high as your S tick Ever Since my eldest brother left .
our cottage to enlist into the army On which occasion as .

,
the ballad that was made about it describes

Be s i de h a t c o tta g e d oor Mr Boffin
t , .
,
A g i r l wa s o n h e r k n e e s
Sh e h e ld a l o ft a s n owy s c a f s i r r
, ,
W h i c h (m y e ld e s t b ro th e r n o ti c e d ) flu ttere d i n th e b reez e ’
Sh e b r e a th e d a pra ye fo r h i m Mr Bo fl‘
.
in r , .
A p r a y e r h e c o o l d n ot h e a r
And m y e ld e s t b r o th e r l e a u d u p o n h i s s word Mr Boffin
.
’
.
, ,
An d wi p e d a wa y a te ar .
”
Much impresse d by this family circumstance and also by ,
the friendly d isposition of Mr W e gg as exemplified in his .

,
so soon d roppi n g into poetry Mr Bo ffin again shook hands ,

.
with that ligneous sharper and besought him to name his ,
hour Mr W e gg named eight

. . .
“ “
Where I live said Mr Bo ffin is called The Bower ,
”
.
, .
Bo ffin s Bower is the name Mrs Bo fii n christened it when we

’
.
come into it as a property If you Should meet with any .
body that don t kn ow i t by that name (which hardly any’
b o d y d oe s ) when you ve got nigh upon about a odd mile o r

' ’
, ,
say and a quarter if you like up Maiden Lane Battle Bridge , , ,
ask for Harmony J ail and you ll be put right I Shall expec t ,
’
.
you W e gg said Mr Boffin clapping him on the shoulder

, ,
”
.
,
.
“
with the greatest enthusiasm most j yfu l l y I shall have ,
.
no peace or patience till you come Print is now opening

ahead of me This night a literary mark —
. .
.wi th a wooden ,
l eg —h e bestowed an admiring look upon that decoration .
as if it greatly enhanced the relish of Mr W egg s attain .

’
ments will begin to lead me a new life ! My fist again '
W e gg Morning morning morning !

.
, ,
”
Left alone at his stall as the other ambled off Mr W e gg ,

.
G RAV IT Y
’
MR W E G G
. S 71
subsi ded into his s c r e e n p r o d u c e d a small pock et handkerchief
,
'
-
of a penitentially scrubbing character and took himself by

-
,
the nose with a thoughtful aspect Also while h e still .

,
grasped that feature h e directed several thought fu l l ooks

,
down the Street after the retiri n g figure of Mr Bo ffin But

,
. .
,
profound gravity sat enthroned on W e g g s countenance F or ’

.
,
while he considered within himself that this was an old .
fellow of rare Simplicity , that this was an opportunity to be

improved and that here might be money to be got beyo n d
,
present calculation still b e compromised h imself by no

,
admission that his n e w engagement was at all out of his way ,
or involved the least element of the ridiculous Mr W e gg . .
would even have picked a han dsome quarrel with any one .
who should have challenged his deep acquaintance with those

aforesaid eight volumes of Decline and F all His gravity .
wa s unusu al portentous and immeasurable not because he

, , ,
admitted any doubt of himself but because he perceived it ,
necessary to for e s tall any doubt of himself in others And .
herein he ranged with that very numerous class of impostors ,
who are quite as determined to keep up appearances to them

selves as to their neighbours
,
.
A certain loftiness likewise took possession of Mr W e gg

, ,
.
a condescending sense of bein g in request a s an o fficial

expounder of mysteries It did not move him to commercial .
greatness but rather to littleness insomuch that : if it had

, ,
been within the possibilities of thin gs for the wooden measure

to hold fewer nuts than usual it would have done so that ,
.
day But when night came and with her veiled eyes behel d
.
, ,
him stumping toward s Boffin s B ower he was elated too ’
,
.
The Bower was as difficult to fin d as F air Rosamond s - .
,
’
without the clue Mr W e g g having reached the quarter

. .
,
indicated inquired for the Bower half a dozen times without

,
- -
the least su ccess until h e remembered to ask for Harmony

,
Jail This occasioned a quick cha n ge in the spirits of a hoarse

.
gentleman and a donkey whom h e h ad much perplexed ,

-
.
“
Why yer mean Old Harmon s do yer
, said the hoarse ’
,
gentleman who was driving his donkey in a truck with a

,
.
,
“
carrot for a whip Why d idn t yer niver say so Ed d ard
’
.
and me is a goin by hi m Jump in

’
.
”
Mr W e gg complied and the hoarse gentleman invited his

.
,
attention to the third person in company thus : ,

“
Now you look at E d d a r d s ears What was it as you
,
’
.
n amed agin ? ,
Whisper .
7 2 OUR M UTU A L FRIE ND
Mr W e gg whi spered
. Boffin s Bower ,
’
.
“
Ed d a r d ! (keep yer hi on his ears ) cut away to Bo ffin s ’
B ower ! ”
Edward with his ears lyi ng back remai ned , ,
immovable .
“
Ed d a r d ! (keep yer hi on his ears ) cut away to Old
Harmon s ’
.
”
Edward instantly pricked up his ears to their utmost and ,
rattled off at such a pace that Mr W e g g s conversation was .

’
j olted out of him in a mo s t dislocated state .
Was i t Ev v e r aj a il
- -
asked Mr W e gg holdi n g on
-
.
,
.
Not a proper j ail wot you and me woul d get commi tted ,
“
to returned his escort
, they giv it the name on accounts ’
,
”
of Old Harmon liv i ng solitary there .
And why did they c a ll i th a r m Ony

- -
asked W e gg- - -
.
‘
On accounts of h i s never agreeing with nobody L i ke a .
speeches of chaff Harmon s J ail Harmony J ai l Working .

’
.
it roun d like .
”
Do you know Mist Er b o ff i n asked W e gg - - -

.
I should think so ! Everybody do about here Ed d a r d .
knows hi m (Keep yer hi on h is ears ) Noddy Bo ffin

. .
,
Ed d a r d
The e ffect of the name was so very alarming in respect of ,
causing a temporary disappearan c e of Edward s head castin g ’
his hind hoofs in the air greatly accelerat i ng the pac e and ,
i ncreasin g the j olting that Mr W e gg was fain to devote his ,

.
attentio n exclusively to holding on and to reli n quish his ,
des i re of ascert ai ni ng whether this homage to Bo ffin was to

be considered compl i menta r y or the reverse .
Presently Edward stopped at a gateway and W e g g

, ,
dis creetly lost no time in slipping out at the back of the

tr u ck The moment he was landed his late driver with a
.
,
wave of the carr ot said Supper Ed d a r d and he the hind , , ,
hoofs the truck and Edward all seemed to fly into the air
, , ,
together in a kind of apotheosi s

, .
Pushing the gate which stoo d ajar W e gg looked i nto an , ,
enclosed space where certain tall dark mounds rose high

again st the sky and where the pathway to the B ower was
,
indicated as the mo onlight showed between two l i nes of

, ,
broken crockery set in ashes A white figure advancing .
along this path proved to be nothing more gh ostly than

,
Mr Boffin easil y attired for the pursuit of knowledge in an

.
, ,
undre s s garment of short white smock frock Havin g received -

.
his literary friend with great cordiality he conducted hi m t o ,

74 OUR M UTU A L FRIEND
Do you understand it W e gg ,
Why in a general way Si r Mr W e gg was beginnin g

, , ,
”
.
slowly and knowingly with his head stuck on one Side as , ,
evasive people do begin when the other cut him short ,

“
You d on t understan d it W e gg and I ll explain it These
’
, ,
’
.
arrangements is made by mutual consent between Mrs Boffi n .
and me Mrs Bo ffin as I ve mentioned is a h i gh fly e r at

. .
,
’
,
F ashion at present I m not I don t go higher than comfort ’

.
’
and comfort of the sort that I m equal to the enj oyment of ’

.
Well then Where would be the good of Mrs Bo ffin and me

. .
quarrelling over it ? We never did quarrel before we come ,
into Boffin s Bower as a property why quarrel when we h a ve

’
come into Bo ffin s Bower as a property ? SO Mrs Bo ffin Sh e ’

-
.
,
keeps up her part of the room in her way ; I keep up my ,
part O f the room in mine In consequence of which we .
have at once Sociabi lity (I should go melancholy mad ,
without Mrs : Boffin ) F ashion and C omfort If I get by

.
, ,
.
degrees to be a h i gh fly e r at F ashion then Mrs Bo ffin will , .
by degrees come fo r a r d e r If Mrs Boffin should ever be less ’

. .
of a dab a t Fashion than she is a t the present time then .
Mrs Boffin s carpet would go b a c k a r d e r If we Should both

.
’ ’
.
c o n ti n n y as we are why then h er e we are and give u s a kiss ,

, ,
old lady .
”
M rs Bo ffin who perpetually smiling had approached and

.
, , ,
drawn her plump arm through her lord s most will ingly com ’
plied F ashion i n the form of her black velvet hat and

.
,
feathers tried to prevent it ; but got deservedly crushed in

,
the endeavour .
‘
So now W e gg said Mr Bo ffin wiping his mouth with
, ,
.
,
an air of much refreshment you begin to know us as we ,
are This is a charming spot is the Bower but you must

.
, ,
get to appreciate it by degrees It s a spot to find out the .

’
merits of little b y little and a new u n every day There s

, ,
’
.
’
a serpentining walk up each o f the mounds that gives you ,
the yard and neighbourho od changing eve r y moment When .
you get to the tOp there s a V iew of the neighbouring ,

’
premises not to be surpassed The premises of Mrs Bo ffin s

, . .
’
late father (Canine Provision Trade ) you look down into as , ,
if they was your own And the top of the High Mound is .
’
crowned with a lattice work Arbour in which if you d on t -
, ,
read ou t loud many a book in the summer a y and as a , ,

’
friend drop many a time into poetry too it shan t be my
, ,
fault No w what ll you read on

.
,
’
P RE PA R A TIONS FO R LITER ATURE 75
Thank you Si r returned W e gg as if there were nothing
, , ,
n e w in his reading at all I generally do it on gin and water . .
“
Keeps the organ moist, does it W e gg asked Mr Bo tfin , .
with innocent eagerness .
Nno sir replied W e gg coolly I Sh ould hardly describe

-
, ,
“
, ,
it SO Si r I shoul d say mellers it Mellers it is the word

,
.
,
.
,
I should employ Mr Boffin ,

. .
His wooden conceit and craft kept exact pace with the
delighted expectation of his V ictim The V isions rising before .
h i s mercenary min d of the many ways in which this con ,
n e xi o n was to be turned to account never obscured the ,
foremost idea natural to a dull overreaching man that he ,
must not make himself too cheap .
Mrs Bofii n s F ashion as a less inexorable deity than the

.
’
idol u sually worshipp ed under that n ame did not forbid her ,
mixing for her literar y guest or asking if he found the result ,
to his liking On his returning a graciou s answer and taking

.
his place at the literary settle Mr Bo ffin began to compose ,

.
himself as a listener at the opposite settle with exultant eyes, ,

.
“
Sorry to deprive you of a pipe W e gg he said filling , ,
”
,
“
his own but you can t do both together Oh ! and another
,
’
.
thing I forgot to name ! When you come in here of an

evening and look round you an d notice anything on a shelf
, ,
that happens to catch you r fancy, mention it .
W e gg who had been going to put on his Spectacles

, ,
immediately l a id them down with the sprightly observation ,
You read my thoughts Si r Do my eyes deceive me o r , .

,
is that obj ect up there a — a pie It can t be a pie ’

.
”
“
Yes it s a pie W e gg replied Mr Boffin with a glance
,
’
, ,
”
.
,
of some little d i s c o m fitu r e at the Decline and F all .
Ha r e I l ost my smell for fruits or is it a apple pie sir , ,
asked W e gg .
“
It s a veal and ham pie said Mr Bo ffin
’
,
. .
Is it indeed sir ? And it would be hard Si r to name

, , , ,
”
the pie that is a better pie than a weal and hammer, said
Mr W e gg nodding his head emotionally
.
,
.
“
Have some W e gg ? ,
Thank you Mr Boffin I think I will at your invitation

, .
, ,
.
’
I wouldn t at any other party s at the present j uncture ’
but at yours Si r ! And meaty j elly too especially when a

,
-
little salt which is the case where there s ham is m e l le r i n g

,
’
to the organ is very m e l l e r i n g to the organ

,
Mr W e g g .
”
.
d id not say what organ but spoke with a cheerful generality ,

.
76 OU R MUTU A L FRIEND
So the pie was brought down and the W orthy Mr Boffin ,

.
exercised his patience until W e gg in the exercise of his knife ,
and fork had finished the d ish : only profiti ng by the

,
O pportunity t o inform W e gg that although it was not strictly
F ashionable to keep the contents of a larder thus exposed to

V iew he (Mr Bo ffin ) considered it hospitabl e : for the reason
,
.
,
that instead of saying in a comparatively unmeaning manner , ,

“
to a visitor There are such and such edibles d ownstairs ;
,
”
will you have anything up ? you took the bol d practical
“
course of saying Cast your eye along the Shelves and if
, , ,
you see anything you l i ke there have it down ,

.
And now Mr W e g g at length pushed away his plate and

,
.
put on his spectacles an d Mr Bo ffin lighted his pipe and , .
looked with beaming eyes into the O pening world before him ,
and Mrs Boffin reclined in a fashionable manner on her sofa

.
as one who would be part of the audience if she found she

could and would go to Sleep if she found she couldn t
,
’
.
“
Hem ! began W e gg ” “
This Mr Boffin and Lady is .
,
.
,
the firs t chapter of the first wo l l u m e of the Decline and F all

off here he looked hard at the book and stopped , .
What s the matter W e g g

’
Why it comes into my mind do you know sir said

, , , ,
W e g g with an air of insinuating frankness (having first again

“
looked hard at the book ) that you made a little mistake ,
this morning which I had meant to set you right in only

, ,
something put it out of my head I think you said Roos h a n .
Empire sir ? ”
W
,
It I S Roos h a n ; ain t it e gg ?
’
No sir Ro rria n Roman

. .
What s the di fference W e g g

.
Mr W e gg was faltering and in

,
”
The difference Si r ? ,
'
.
danger of breaking down when a bright thought flashed ,

“
upon him The difference Si r ? There you place me in a
.
,
difficulty Mr Boffin Suffice it to observe that the di fference

, . .
,
is best postponed to some other occasion when Mrs Bo ffin .
does not honour u s with her company In Mrs Boffin s . .

’
presence sir we had better drop it

, ,
.
”
Mr W e gg thu s came out of his disadvantage with quite a

.
chivalrous air and not only that but by dint of repeating

, ,
with a manly delicacy “

In Mrs Bo ffin s presence sir we ,
.
’
, ,
had better drop it ! turned the disadvantage on Bo fli n ”

,
who felt that he had committed hi m self in a very painful

manner .
FIRST RE A DI N G
’
MR W E G G
. S 77
Then Mr W e gg in a dry unflinching way entered on his
,
.
, ,
task going straight across country at everythin g that came

before him ; taking all the hard words biographical and ,
geographical getting rather Shaken by Hadrian Traj an an d

, , ,
the Antonines ; Stumbling at Polybiu s (pronounced Polly

Re e i o u s and supposed by Mr Bo ffin to be a Roman V irgin
,
.
,
an d by Mrs Bo ffin to be respons ible for that necessity of

.
dropping it) ; heavily unseated by Titus Antonin u s Pius up ,
agai n and galloping smoothly with Augustus fi n ally getting

over the ground well with Co mmodus ; who under th e appel
, ,
lation of Commodio u s was held b y Mr Bo ffin to have been , .
“
quite unworthy of his English origi n and not to have acted ,
”
up to his name in his government of the Roman people ,
.
With the death of this person age Mr W e gg terminated his ,

.
first reading long be fore whi ch consummation several total

eclipses of Mrs Bofli n s candle behind her black velvet disc
.
’
would have been V ery alarming but for bein g regularly ,
accompanied by a potent smell of burnt pens when her

feathers took fir e which acted as a restorative and woke her
,
.
Mr W e g g having read on by rote an d attach ed as few ideas as

.
_
possibl e to the text came out of the encounter fresh ; but, ,
Mr Bo ffin who had soon laid d own h i s unfinishe d pipe and

.
, ,
had ever Since sat intently Staring with his eyes and mind
at the confounding enormities of the Romans was so severely ,
punished that he could hardly wish his literary friend Good

nigh t and articulate To m orrow
,
-
.
’
“
Commodiou s gasped Mr Bo ffin starin g at the moon
,
”
.
, ,
after letting W e gg out of the gate and fastening it : Com

m o d i o u s fights in that wild b e a St show, s ev e n h u n d r e d and - -
.
thirty fiv e times in one ch aracter only ! AS if that wasn t

-
,
’
stunning enough a h u ndred lions is tu r n e d i n to the same

.
,
wild beast Show e ll at once ! AS if that wasn t stunning

- -
’
enough Com modious in another character kills em all off

, , ,
’
in a hundred goes ! AS if that wasn t stunning enough ’

,
Vittle u s (and well named too ) eat Six m ill ions worth E n glish
-
’
money , in seven m onth s W e g g takes it easy but u pon m y

'
,
-
soul to a ol d bird lik e myself these are scarers And even .
now that Commodious is strangled I don t see a way t o ou r ,

’
b ettering ourselves Mr Bo ffin added as he turned his

.
”
.
pensive steps towards the Bower and shook his head I ,

’
didn t think this morning there was half so many Scarers .
in Print But I m in for it now !

.
’
CHA PT E R VI
C UT ADRIFT
THE Six Jolly F ellowship Porters, already mentioned as a
-
tavern of a dropsical appearance had long settled down into

,
a state of hale in firmity In its whole constitution it had

.
not a straight floor and hardly a straight line ; but it had

,
outlasted and clearly would yet outlast many a better

, ,
trimmed building many a Sprucer public house Externally

,
-
.
,
it was a narrow lopsided wooden j umble of corpulent windows

heaped one upon another as you might heap as many
toppling oranges with a crazy wooden verandah impending
,
over the water ; indeed the whole house inclu sive of the ,
complaining fla g staff on the roof impended over the water

-
, ,
but seemed to have got into the condition of a faint hearted -
diver who has paused so long on the brink that he will

never go in at all .
This description applies to th e river frontage of the Six -
Jolly F ellowship Porters The back of the establishment

-
.
,
though the chief entrance was there so contracted that it , ,
merely represented in its connexion with the front the ,
handle of a fla t iron set upright on its broadest end This

-
.
handle stood at the bottom of a wilderness of court and

alley : which wilderness pressed so hard and cl ose upon the
Six Jolly F ellowship Porters as to leave the hostelry not an
-
inch of ground beyond its door F or this reason in com

.
,
bination with the fact that the house was all but afloat at
high water when the Porters had a family wash the linen
,
subj ected to that operation might u sually be seen drying on

lines Stretched acros s the reception rooms and bedchambers -
.
The wo od forming the chimneypieces beams partitions , , ,
floors and doors of the Six Jolly F ellowship Porters seemed

, ,
-
,
in its O l d age fraught with confused memories O f its youth .
In many places it had become gnarled and riven according ,
to the manner of old trees knots started out of it and here

and there it seemed to twist itself into some likeness of
THE SI x JO LL Y FEL L O W S H I P- P O RTERS 79
bou ghs In this state of sec ond c hildh ood it had an a ir of
.
,
being in its own way garrulous about its early life Not .
without reason was it often asserted by the regular frequenters

of the Porters that when the ligh t shon e full upon the
,
grain of certain panels and particularly u pon an old corner ,
cupboard of walnut wood in the bar you might trace little

-
,
forests there and tiny trees lik e the parent tree, i n full
,
-
umbrageou s leaf .
The bar of the Six J olly F ellowship Porters was a bar to -
soften the human breast The available Space in it was not .
much larger than a hackney coach ; but no one could have -
wished the bar bigger that Space was so gi rt in by corpulent

,
little casks and by cordial bottles radiant with fictitious

,
-
grapes in bunches an d by lemon s in nets and by biscuits in

, ,
baskets an d by the polite beer pulls that made low b ows

,
-
when customers were served with beer and by the cheese in ,

’
a snug corner and by the lan dlady s own small table in a
,
snugger corner near the fire with the cloth everlastingly laid ,
.
This haven was divided from the rough world by a glass

p artition and a half door with a leaden sill upon it for the
'
-
c onvenience of resting your liquor ; but over t his half door ,

-
the bar s snugness so gushe d forth , that albeit customers

’
,
drank there stan ding in a d ark and draughty passage where

,
they were shouldered by Other custome rs passing in and out ,
they always appeared to dri n k under an enchanting delusion

that they were in the bar itself .
F or the rest both the tap and parlour of the Six J olly
”
Fellowship Porters gave upon the river and had red curtains
-
,
matching the noses of the regular customers and were pro ,
vi d e d with comfortable fireside tin utensil s li ke models of ,
sugar l oaf hats made in that shape that they might with
-
, ,
their pointed ends seek out for themselves glowing nooks in

,
th e depths of th e red coals when they mulle d you r al e or , ,
heated for you those delectable drinks Purl F lip and Dog s , , ,
’
Nose The first of these humming compounds was a Speciality

.
of the Porters which through an inscri ption on its door

, ,
“
posts gently appealed to your feelings as The Early Purl
, ,
H ouse F or it would seem that Purl must always be taken

.
”
,
early ; though whether for any more distinctly stomachic

reason than that as the early bird catches the worm so the
, ,
early purl catches the customer cannot here be resolved It , .
only remains to add that in the h andle of th e fla t iron and -

,
opposite the bar was a very little room like a three cornered
,
-
8O OUR MUTU A L FRIE ND
hat into which no direct ray of sun moon or Star ev e r

, , , ,
pene trated but which was superstitiou sly regarded as a

,
sanc tuary replete with comfort an d retirement by gaslight .
and on the door of whi c h was therefore painted its allu ring
name : Cosy
Miss Potterson sole proprietor and manager of the F ellow
.
ship Porters reigned supreme o n her throne th e Bar and a

-
,
-
, ,
man must have drunk himself mad drunk indeed if he thought

he cou l d contest a point with her Being known on her own .
a uthority as Miss Abbey Potterson some water S ide heads ,

-
.
which (like the water) were none of the clearest harboured ,
muddled notions that because of her dignity and firmness , ,
she was named after or in some sort related to the Abbey , ,
at Westminster But Abbey was only Short for Abigail by

.
,
whic h n ame Mis s Potterson had been christened at L imehou se

Church some s i xty and O d d years before
,
.
Now you mind you Riderhood

,
said Miss Abbey, ,
”
Potterson with emphatic forefinger over the half door the

,
“ -
,
F ellowships don t want you at all and would rather by far

’
have your room than your co mpany ; but if you were as

w elcome here as you are not you shouldn t even then have
’
another drop of drink here this night after this present pi nt ,
of beer SO make the most of it

. .
”
But you kno w Miss Potterson this wa s suggested very , ,

“ ’
meekly though if I behave myself you can t help servin g
, ,
me miss
,
.
”
Ca n t I
’
said Abbey with infinite expression
No Mi s s Potterson because you see the law
.
,
, , ,
“
I am the law here my man returned Miss Abbey and ”
, , ,
’ ”
I ll soon convince you of that if you doubt it at all ,
.
I never said I did doubt it at all Miss Abbey

-
,
.
So much the better for you .

”
Abbey the supreme threw the cu stomer s halfpence into th e ’
till and seating herself in h e r fireside chair resumed the

, , ,
n ewspaper Sh e had been reading She was a tall upright .

,
.
well favoured woman , th o u gh s e v e r e of countenance and h a d

'
-
,
more of the air of a schoolmistress th an mistress of the Six

Jolly F ellowship Porters The man o u the other Side of the
-
.
-
half door was a water Side man with a squinting leer and
-
,
-
,
he eyed her as if h e were o n e O f her pupils in d isgrace .
‘ ’
You re cruel hard upon me Miss Potterson ,
.
Miss Potterson read her n ewspaper with contracted brows ,
and took no n otice until he whis p ered

C ON C E RN IN G G A FFER 83
’
Miss Potte rson ! Ma am ! Might I have half a word
with you ?
Deigning then to turn her eyes sideways toward s the .
suppliant Miss Potterson beheld him k nuckling his low fore

,
head and ducking at her with his head as if h e were asking

, ,
leave to fli ng himself head foremost over the half door and -
alight on his feet in the bar .
Well ? said Miss Potterson with a manner as Short as ,
she herself was long say you r half word Bring it out ,
. .
”
’
Miss Potterson ! Ma am ! Would you s x c u s e me taking ’
the liberty of asking is it m y c haracter that you take ,

-
obj ections to
“
Certainly said Miss Potterson ,
.
Is it that yo u re afraid of ’
I am not afraid of you interposed Miss Potte rson if “

,
”
,
”
you mean that .
“
But I humbly don t mean that Miss Abbey ’
,
.
Then what do you mean

Yo u really are so cruel hard upon me ! What I was
goin g to make inquiries was n o more than m i gh t y ou have ,
'
any apprehensions— leastways beliefs or suppositions — that

the company s property mightn t be altogether to be con
’ ’
s i d e r e d safe if I used the house too regular ?

,
“
What do you want to know for
Well Miss Abbey respect fu lly meaning no o ffence to
, ,
you it would be some satisfaction to a man s mind to under

,
’
stan d why the F ellowship Porters is not to be free to such as -
me and is to be free to such as Gaffer

, .
”
Th e face of the hostess darkened with some shadow of

perplexity as she replied Gaffer has never been where you
,
have been .
”
“
Signify ing in Quod Miss ? Perhaps not But h e may ,
.
II a v e merited it He may be s uspected of far worse than ever

.
I was
”
.
“
Who suspects him
Many perhaps One beyond all doubts I do
, .
,
. .
You are not much said Miss Abbey Potterson knitting ”

, ,
her brows again with disdain .
“
But I was his pardner Mind you Miss Abbey I was .
, ,
his pardner As such I know more of the ins and outs o f

.
him than any person livin g does Notice this ! I am the .
nan that was his pardner and I am the man that suspects
im
1 .
,
84 OU R MUTU AL F RIEND
Then suggested Mis s Abbey though with a deeper Shade

, ,
“
of perplexity than before you criminate yourself , .
”
No I don t Miss Abbey F or how does it stand ? It

’
,
.
stands this way When I was his pardner I couldn t never

.
,
’
give him satisfaction Why couldn t I never give him satis .

’
faction ? Because my luck was bad because I couldn t fin d ’
many enough of em How was his luck ? Always good ’

. .
Notice this ! Always good ! Ah ! There s a many games ’

,
’ ’
Miss Abbey in which there s chance but there s a many
, ,
’ ”
others in which there s Skill too mixed along with it , .
“
That Gaffer has a skill in finding what he finds, who
”
doubts man ? asked Miss Abbey
,
.
“
A skill in pu r wi d i n g what he finds, perhaps said Rider ,
hood Shaking his evil head

, .
Miss Abbey knitted her brow at him as he darkly leered ,
at her .
If you re out upon the river pretty ni g

’
h every tide and ,
’
if you want to fin d a man or woman i n the ri ver you ll ,
greatly help your lu ck Miss Abbey by knocking a man or , ,
woman on the head aforehand and pitching em in ’

.
”
“ ”
Graciou s Lud ! was the involuntary exclamation of
Miss Potterson .
”
Mind you ! returned the other stretchin g forward over ,
the half door to throw his words into the bar ; for his voice
-
was as if the head of his b oat s mop were down his throat ’
“
I say so Miss Abbey ! And mind you ! I ll follow him
,
’
up Miss Abbey ! And mind you ! I ll bring h i m to book

,
’
at last if it s twenty year hence I will ! Who s he to be

,
’
,
’
favoured along of his daughter ? Ain t I got a daughter of ’
my own
With that flourish and seeming to have talked himself ,
rather more d runk and much more ferocio u s than he had

begun by being Mr Riderhood t ook up his pint pot and
,
.
swaggered off to the tap room -

.
Gaffer was n ot there but a pretty strong muster of Miss ,

’
Abbey s pupils were who exhibited when occasion required , , ,
the greatest docility On the clock s striking ten and Miss.

’
,
’
Abbey s appearing at the door and addressing a certain ,
“
person in a faded scarlet j acket with George Jones your , ,
”
time s up I told your wife you Should be punctual Jones
’
,
submissively rose gave the company good night and retired

,
-
,
.
At half past ten on Miss Abbey s looking in again and

-
,
’
,
“
saying William Williams Bob Glamour and Jonathan
, , , ,
DO C ILE PU P IL S
’
M ISS ABB E Y S 85
you ar e all due Wil liams Bob and Jonathan with Simil ar
, , ,
meekness took their leave and evaporated Greater wonder .
than these when a bottle nosed person in a gla z e d hat had

,
-
after some considerable hesitation ordered an other glass of

gin and water of the attendant potboy and wh e n Mi SS Abbey
'
, ,
“
instead of sending it appeared in person saying ,
Captain , ,
Joey y ou have had as much as will do you good not only

, ,
”
did the captain feebly rub his knees an d c ontemplate the fire
without o ffering a word of protest but the rest of the company ,
murmured Ay a y Captain ! Miss Abbey s right ; you be

“
, , ,
’
’
guided by Miss Abbey Captain Nor was Miss Abbey s , .
”
v igilance in anywise abated by this submission but rather ,
sharpened for looking round on the deferential faces of her

,
school and descry ing two other you n g person s i n need of

,
“ ’
admonition Sh e thu s bestowed it : Tom Tootle it s time
, ,
for a young fellow who s going to be marrie d next month ’
to be at home and asleep And you needn t nudge him .

’
Mr Jack Mullin s for I know y ou r work begins early to

.
,
morrow and I say the same to you SO come ! Good night

, .
-
,
”
like good lads ! Upon which the blushing Tootle looked to
Mullins and the blushing Mullins looked to Tootle on the
, ,
question wh o should rise first an d finally both ro se together ,
and went out on the broad grin followed by Miss Abbey in ,
whose presence the company did not take the liberty of

grinning likewise .
In such an establishment the white aproned potb oy with ,

-
,
his shirt sleeves arranged in a tight roll on each bare shoulder

-
was a mere h int of the possibility of physical force thrown ,
out as a ma tter of State and form Exactly at the closing .
hour all the guests wh o were left filed out in the best order
, ,
Miss Abbey standing at th e half door of the bar to h old a -

,
ceremony of review and dismissal Al l wished Miss Abbey

_
'
good night and Miss Abbey wished good night to all except
-
,
-
,
Riderhood The sapient potboy looking on o fficially then

.
, ,
had the conviction borne in upon his soul that the man was ,
evermore outcast and excommunicate from the Six Jolly

F ellowship Porters -
.
Y ou Bob Gliddery said Miss Abbey to this potboy , ,
run round to He x a m s and tell his daughter Liz zie that I

’
want to speak to her .

”
With exemplary Swiftness B ob Gliddery departed an d ,
returned Lizzie following him arrived as one O f the two

.
, ,
female domestics of the F ellowship Porters arranged on the -

snug little table by the bar fire Miss P o tte r s on s supper of ,

’
hot sausages and mashed potatoes

Come in and Si t ye down girl said MiS S Ab b e y “ Can
.
” ‘
, , .
you eat a bit ?

N 0 thank you Miss I have had my supper , . .
I have had mine too I think said Miss Abbey pushing , , ,

“
away the untasted dish and more than enough of it I , .
am put out Liz zie ,

.
“
I a m very sorry for it Miss ,
.
Then why in the name of G oodness , qu oth Miss Abbey

, ,
sharply do you do it ?
,
“
I do it Miss ? ,
’
There there Don t look astonished I ought to h ave
, . .
’
begun with a word of explanation but it s my way to make ,
short cuts at things I always was a pepperer You B ob . .
Gliddery there put the chain upon th e d oor and get ye do wn

,
to your supper .
With a n alacrity that seemed no less referable to th e

pepperer fact than to the supper fact Bob obeyed and , ,
his boots were heard descending towards the bed of the

r i ver .
“
Lizzie He xa m Lizzie H ox e m then began Miss Potter , ,
“
son how often have I held out to yo u the opportunity of
,
getting clear of your father and doing well ? ,
Very often Miss ,

.
”
Very O ften Yes ! And I might as well have spoken to

the iron funnel of the Strongest sea going steamer that passes -
the F ellowship Porters -

.
”
“ “
No Miss Lizzie pleaded because that would not be
, , ,
”
thankful and I am ,
.
“
I vow and declare I am half ashamed of myself for
taking such an interest in you said Miss Abbey pettishly , , ,
“
for I don t believe I should do it if you were not good
’
looking Why ain t you ugly ?

.
’
L izzie merely answered this difficult question with a n

apologetic glance .
“ ’
However you ain t resumed Miss Potterson so it s no
,
’
,
”
,
use going into that I must take you as I find you Which . .
’
indeed is what I ve done And you mean to say you are still .
obstinate
“
Not obstinate Miss I h Ope , , .
Firm (I suppose you call it) then

Yes Miss Fixed like
, . .
”
LI ZZ I E T A KEN To TA SK 87
Never was an obstinate person yet who would own to the ,
word ! remarked Miss Potterson rubbing h er vexed nose

”
,
“
I m sure I would if I was obstinate but I am a peppe rer
’
which is different Liz z ie He x a m L izzie He xa m think again

, ,
. .
, ,
DO you know the worst of your father

Do I know the worst of father ? Sh e re peated opening ,
her eyes .
Do you know the suspicions to which your father makes

himself liable Do you know the suspicions that are actually
about against him
,
The consciousness of what he habitually did op pressed the ,
girl heavily and Sh e slowly cast down her eyes

,
.
Say Lizzie Do you know

,
.u rged Miss Abbey .
Please tell me what the suspicions are, Miss Sh e asked ,
a fter a Silence with her eyes upon the ground

, .
“
It s not an easy thing to tell a daughter but it must be
’
told It is thought by some then that your father helps to

.
, ,
”
their death a few of those that he finds dead .
The relief of hearing what Sh e felt sure was a false sus

p i c i o n in place of the expected real and true on e so light
, ,
ened Lizzie s breast for the moment that Miss Abbey was
'
’
amazed at her demeanour She raised her eyes quickly shook

.
,
her head and in a kind of triumph almost laughed

, , , .
“
They little know father who talk like that .
“
( She takes it thought Mis s Abbey very quietly She
“
”
.
, ,
takes it with extraordinary quietness

“
And perhaps said Lizzie as a r ecollection flashed upon
,
”
,
“
her it is some one who has a gru d ge against father : some
,
one who has threatened father ! I S it Riderhood Miss ,

“
Well yes it I s .
’
Yes ! He was father s partner and father broke with ,
him and now he revenges himself F ather broke with him

,
.
when I was by and he was very angry at it And besides

,
.
,
Miss Abbey — Will you never without Strong reason let , ,

”
pass you r lips wh at I am going to say ?
She bent forward to say it in a whisper .
”
I promise said Miss Abbey ,
.
It was on the night when the Harmon murder was found

out through father j ust above bridge An d j ust below bridge
, , .
,
a s we were sculling home Riderhood crept out of the dark in

,
his boat And many and many times afterwards when such
.
,
great pains were taken to come to the bottom of the crime ,
and it never could be come near I thought in my own ,

88 O UR , M UTU A L FRIEND
thoughts could Riderhood himself have done the murder an d

, ,
did he purposely let father find the body It seemed a m o s t ’
wicked and cruel to so much as think such a thing ; but now

that he tries to throw it upon father I go back to it as if it ,
was a truth Can it be a truth ? That was put into my

.
mind by the dead ? ”
She asked this question rather of the fire than of the ,
hostess of the F ellowship Porters and looked roun d the little -

,
bar with troubled eyes .
But Miss Potterson as a ready schoolmistress accustomed

, ,
to bring her pupils to book set the matter in a light that ,
was essentially of this world .
“
You poor deluded gi rl Sh e said don t you see that ,
.
,
’
’
you can t Open your mind to particular suspicions of one of
the two without O pening your mind to general suspicions of
,
the other They had worked together Their goings on had .

-
been going on for some time Even grantin g that it was a s .
you have had in your thoughts what the two had done ,
”
together would come familiar t o the mind of one .
“
You don t know father Miss when y o u ta lk like that
’
, , _ .
”
Indeed indeed you don t know father
, ,
’
.
Lizzie Lizzie said Miss Potterson

,
Leave him You
,
”
. .
needn t break with him altogether but leave him Do well

’
,
.
away from him not because of what I have told you to n ight
— we ll pass no j udgment u pon that and we ll hope it may
’
,
’
not b e — but because of what I have u rged on you before No .
matter whether i t s owing to your goo d looks or not I like ’
you and I want to serve you Lizzie come under my d i r e c .

,
tion Don t fling yourself a wa y m y girl but be persuaded

.
’
.
,
.
into being respectable and happy .

”
In the sound good feelin g and good sense of her entreaty ,
Miss Abbey had softened into a soothing tone and had even ,
drawn her arm round the girl s waist But she only replied ’
.
, ,
Thank you thank you ! I can t I won t I must not

,
’
.
’
.
think of it The harder father is borne upon the more he

.
,
needs me to lean on .
”
And then Miss Abbey who like all hard people when they , ,
do soften felt that there was considerable c ompensation owing

,
to her u n d e r we n t r e a c ti on and became frigid

,
‘
.
“
I have done what I can she said and you must go ,
”
your way You make your bed and you must lie on it
.
,
“
But tell your father one thing : ~he mu st not come here any
more .
”
go O UR M UTU A L FRIEND
su re al way s came after it and failed Riderhoo d had done

,
.
the deed and entrapped her father Riderhood had not done
,
.
the deed but had resolved in his malice to turn against her
,
father the appearances th at were ready to his hand to distort .
Equally and swiftly upon either putting of the case followed ,
the frightful possibil ity that her father being innocent yet , ,
might come to be believed guilty She had heard of people .
su ffering Death for bloodshed of which they were afterwards

proved pure and those ill fated persons were not first in that
,
-
, ,
dangerous wrong in which her father Stood Then at the best .

,
the beginning of his being set apart whispered against and , ,
avoided was a certain fact It dated from that very night

,
. .
And as the great black river with its dreary shores was soon
lost to her V iew in the gloom so she stood on the river s , ,
’
brink unable to see into the vast blank misery of a life sus
.
po c te d and fallen away from by good and bad but knowing

, ,
that it lay there dim before her stretching away to the great ,
ocean Death
,
.
One thing only was clear to the girl s mind Accustomed ’

.
from her very babyhood promptly to do the thing that could

be done — whether to keep out weather to ward o ff cold to , ,
postpone hunger or what not— she started ou t of her medi

,
ta ti on and ran home

,
.
The room was qui et and the lamp burnt on the table In , .
th e bunk i n the corner her brother lay asleep S he bent , .
over him softly kissed him and came to the table

, ,
.
“
By th e ti m e of Miss Abbey s closing and by the run of
' ’
the tide i t must be one Tide s runn i ng up

,
Father at .
’
.
Chiswick wouldn t think of coming down till after the turn

,
’
and that s at half after four I ll call Charley at six I Shall

’
.
’
.
”
hear the chu rch clock strike as I sit here , .
Very quietly she placed a chair before the scanty fire and
, ,
sat down in it drawing her Shawl about her

,
.
Charley s hollow down by the flare is not there now

’
.
”
Poor Charley !
The clock struck two and the clock struck three and the , ,
’
clock struck four and Sh e remained there with a wo m an s
, ,
patience and her own purpose When the morning was well .
on between four and five she slipped Off her shoes (that her ,
going about might not wake Charley ) trimmed the fire spar ,
i n gl y put water on to boil and set the table for breakfast

, ,
.
Then Sh e went up the ladder lamp in hand and came down , ,
again and glided about and about making a l i ttle bundle

, ,
.
CH A RLE Y MUS T G O 9I
Lastly from her pocket and from the chimneypiece an d
, , ,
from an inverted basin on the highest Shelf she brought ,
halfpence a few si xpences fewer shillings and fell to labo

, , ,
r i o u s l y and noiselessly counting them and setting aside one .
little heap She was still so engaged when Sh e was startled

.
,
by
Hal loa F rom h e r brother si tting up in bed
-
,
.
You made me j ump ; Charley .

”
Jump ! Didn t yo u make m e j ump when I opened my ’
eyes a moment ago an d saw you Sitting there like t h e ghost , ,
of a girl miser in the dead o f th e n i gh t !

-
,
' '
It s not the dead of the night Charley I t s nigh Si x i n

’
, .
’ -
the morning .
‘
Is it though But what are y ou up to Liz P ,
Still telling your fortune Charley ,

.
”
“
It seems to be a preciou s small one if that s it said the ,
’
,
“
boy .What are you putting that little pile of m on ey by
itself for
“
F or you Charley ,
.
What d o you mean

Get out of bed Charley and get washed and dressed and , , ,
then I ll tell you

’
.
Her composed m anner and her low distinct voice always , ,
had an influence over him His head was so on in a basin of .
water, and out of i t again and staring at her through a s torm ,
of towelling .
'
I never towelling at himself as if he were his bittere st

,
“
enemy saw such a girl as you are What i s the m ove
,
“
.
,
Liz
“
Are you almost ready for breakfast Charley ,
You can pour it out Hal loa ! I say And a bundle .

-
”
And a bundle Charley ,
.
You d on t mean it s for me too ’ ’
Yes Charley ; I do indeed

, , .
More serious of face and more Slow of action than he had , ,
been the boy completed his dressing and came and sat down
, ,
at the little breakfast table with h i s eyes amazedly directed -

,
to her face .
You see Charley dear I have m ade up my mind that

, ,
this is the right time for your going away from us Over .
and above all the blessed change of b y and b y you l l be much - -

,
’
h appier and do mu ch better even so soon as next mont h

, ,
.
Even SO soon as next week .

”
How do you know I shall ?

I don t quite know how Charley but I do
’
In s pite of , , .
her unchanged manner of speaking and her unchanged ,
appearance of composu re she scarcely trusted herse lf to l ook ,
at him but kept her eyes employed on the cutting and

,
buttering of h i s bread and on the mixin g of his tea an d , ,

“
other such little preparations You must leave father to
me Charley —I will do what I can with him — but you must
.
go .
You don t stand upon ceremo ny I think grumbled th e

’
, ,
boy throwing his bread and butter about in an ill humour

, ,
-
.
She made h i m no answer .
I tell you what said the boy then bursting out into an ,
”
,
’
angry whimpering you re a selfish j ade and you think , ,
there s not enough for three of us and you want to get rid of
’
,
”
me
If you believe SO Charley —
.
“
yes then I believe too that , , , ,
I am a selfish j ade and that I think there s not enough for ,

’
”
three of us and that I want to get rid of you,
.
It was only when the boy rushed at her and threw his ,
-
a rms round her neck that S h e lost her self res tra i nt But she ,
-
.
lost it then and we pt over him ,

.
“
Don t cry don t c r y ! I am satisfied to go Liz ; I am
’
,
’
,
”
satisfied to go I know you send me away for my good . .
O Charley Charley Heaven above us knows I do

, , ,
’
Yes yes Don t mind what I said Don t remember it
,
.
’
. .
Kiss me .
After a Silence s h e loosed him to dry her eyes and regain , ,
her strong quiet influence .
Now lis ten Charley dear We bo th know it must be ,

.
d one and I alone know there i s good reason for its being
,
done at once Go straight to the school and say that you and
.
,
I agreed upon i t— that we can t overcome father s opposition ’ ’
—that father will never trouble them but will never take you ,
back You are a credit to the school and you will be a greater
.
,
c redit to it yet and they will help you to get a living Show
,
.
what clothes you have brought and what money and say , ,
that I will send some more money If I can get some in no .
other way I will ask a little help of those two gentlemen

,
who came here that night .
“ ’
I say ! cried her brother quickly ”
Don t you have it ,
.
of that chap that took hold of me by the chin ! Don t you

’
have it of that W r a y b u r n one ! ”

G A FFE R RETURNS H OM E 93
Perhaps a slight additional tin ge of red flashed u p into her
face and br ow as with a nod she l a id a hand upon his lips to
,
keep him s ilently attentive .
“
And above all things, mind this Charley ! Be sure you ,
always speak well of father Be sure you always give father .
his full due You can t deny that b e cause father h a s no

.
’
learn i ng himself he is set against it in you but favour

nothing else against him and be su re you say— as you know
,
that your sister is d evoted to him And if you should ever .
happen to hear anything said against father that is new t o

you it will not be true Remember Charley
,
.It wi l l not ,
be true.
”
The boy looked at her with some doubt and s urprise but ,
she went on again without heeding it .
“
Above all things remember It will not be tru e I h ave .
nothing more to say Charley dear except be goo d and get

, , , ,
learning and only think of some things in the Ol d life here

, ,
as if you had dreamed them in a dream last night Good bye .

-
,
my Darli ng !
Though so young Sh e infused into these parting words a
,
’
love that was far more like a mother s than a Sister s , and ’
before which the boy was quite bowed down After holdin g .
her to his breast with a passionate cry he took up his bun dle ,
and darted out at the door with an arm across his eyes ,
.
The white face of the winter day came sluggishly on ,
veiled in a fr osty mist and the Shadowy Ships in the river

slowly changed to black substances ; and the sun blood red ,
-
on the eastern m a rshes behind dark masts and yards seemed ,
filled with the ruins of a forest it had set on fire Lizzie .

,
looki ng for her father saw him coming and stood upon the
, ,
causeway that he might see her .
He had nothing with him but his boat and came on apace ,
.
A knot of those amphibious human creatures wh o appear to

h ave some mysterious power of extracting a subsistence out of
tidal water by looking at it were gathered together about ,
the causeway AS her father s boat grounded they became

.
’
,
contemplative of the mu d and d ispersed themselves She ,

.
saw that the mute avoidance had begun .
Gaffer saw it too in SO far that he was moved when he

, ,
set foo t on Shore to stare around him But he promptly

,
.
,
set to work to haul up his boat and make her fast an d take , ,
the sculls and rudder and rope out of her Carryi n g these .
,
’
with Lizzie s aid he passed up to his dwelling
,
.
94 O UR MU TU A L FRIE ND
Sit close to the fire father dear while I cook your , , ,

’
breakfast It s all ready for cooking and onl y been waiting
.
,
for you You must be frozen

. .
”
“ ’ ’
Well Liz zie I ain t of a glow ; that s certain And my
, , .
hands seemed nailed through to th e sculls See how dead .
”
they are ! Something suggestive in the ir colour and ,
perhaps in her face struck him as he held them up ; he ,
turned his Shoulder and h eld them down to the fire .
“
You were not out in the perishing night I hope , ,
father
'
No my dear Lay aboard a barge b y a blaz i ng coal fire

—Where s that boy
.
, , .
.
“
There s a drop of brandy for your tea father if you ll
’
.
, ,
’
put it in while I turn thi s bit of meat If th e r i ve r was to .
get frozen there would be a deal of distress wouldn t there

,
’
father
’
Ah there s always enough of that said Gaffer dropp i ng , ,
the liquor into his cup fro m a squat black bottle and ,
“
dropping it slowly that it might seem more dis tress is for
ever a going about like sut in the air — Ain t that boy up y e t .
’
“
The meat s ready now f ather Eat it while it s hot and
’
,
.
’
’
comfortable After you have finished we ll turn round to
.
,
the fire and talk .
But he perceived that he was evaded and having thrown

, , ,
a hasty angry glance towards the bunk plucked at a corner ,
of her apron and asked

What s gone with th at boy ’
F ather if you ll begin your breakfast, I ll sit by and tell

,
’ ’
you .
He looked at her S tirred hi s tea and to ok two o r three ,
gulps then cut at his piece of hot steak with his case knife
,
-
,
and said eating ,
Now then What s gone with that boy .

’
Don t be angry dear It seems father that he has

’
,
.
, ,
quite a gift of learn ing .

”
“
Un n a t r a l young beggar ! s a i d t h e parent Shaking his
’ ”
k nife in the air .
And that having this gift and n o t b e i n g equally good

-
,
”
at other things he has made S hift to get some schooling
,
.
Un n a t r a l young beggar said the parent again with his

’
former action .
And that knowing you have nothing to spare father

-
, ,
and not wishing to be a burden on you he gradually made ,

’
LI z e s A L ARM 95
up his mind to go seek his fortune out of learning He went .
away this morning father and he cried very much at going , , ,
and he hoped you would forgive him .

”
Let him never come a nigh me to ask me my forgive

ness said the father again emphasizing his words with the
,
”
,
“
knife Let him neve r come within Sight of my eyes nor yet
.
,
within reach of my arm His own father ain t good enou gh .

’
for him He s d isowned h is own father His own father

.
’
.
,
'
’
therefore disowns him for ever and ever a s a u n n a t r a l you n g
, ,
beggar .
”
He had pushed away his plate With the natural need of .
a strong rough man in anger to do something forcible he , ,
n ow clutched his knife overhand and struck downward with

it at the end of every suc c eeding sentence AS he would have .
struck with his own clenched fist if there had chanced to be

nothing in it .
“ ’
He s welcome t o go He s more welcome to go than to .
’
stay But let him never come back Let him never put his
.
.
head inside that door And let you never Speak a word more .
’
in his favour or you ll disown you r own father l i kewise and
, , ,
what your father says of him he ll have to come to say of ’
you NOW I see why them men yonder held aloof from me
. .
‘
They says to one another Here comes the man a s ain t good ,
’
enough for his o wn son Lizzie

But she stopped him with a cry L ooking at her he saw
, .
her with a face quite strange to him Shrinking back against

, ,
the wall with h e r hands before her eyes

, .
F ather don t ! I can t bear to see you Striking with it

,
’ ’
.
Put it down
He looked at the knife ; but in his astonishment he Still
h eld it .
“
F ather it s too horrible 0 put it down put it down !
,
’
.
,
”
Confounded by her appearance and exclamation he tossed ,
it away and stood up with his O pen hands held out before
,
him .
“ ’
What s come to you Liz Can you think I would ,
strike at you with a knife ? ”
“
No father no you would never h urt me
, , .
What Should I hurt ?

Nothing dear father On my knees I am certain in
, .
, ,
my heart and soul I am certain nothing ! But it was too ,
d readful to bear for it looked her hands covering her

face again 0 it looked ,
What did it look l ike

The recollection of his murderous figure combining with ,
her trial of last night and her trial of the mornin g caused
, ,
her to drop at hi s feet without having answered

,
.
He had never seen her so before He raised her with the

.
utmost tenderness call i ng her the best of daughters an d

, ,
“
my poor pretty c r ee tu r and laid her head upon his knee
,
”
and tried to restore her B ut faili ng he laid her head gently

.
,
down again got a p i llow and placed it under her dark hair
, ,
and sought on the table for a spoonful of brandy There .
being non e left he h u rriedly caught up the empty bottle

, ,
and ran out at the doo r .
He returned as hurriedly as he had gone with the bottle ,
S til l empty. He kneeled down by her took her head on his ,
arm and moistened her lips with a little water into which
,
he had dipped his fingers : sayi ng fiercely as he looke d , ,
around now over this shoulder now over that

, ,
‘ ’
Have we got a pest in the hou se ? Is there summ at
d eadly sticking to my clothes ? What s l e t loo se u pon us ?’
Who loo s ed it ?
98 O UR MUTU A L FRI END
brokers and of dealers in dogs and Sin ging birds F ro m

,
-
.
these in a narrow and a dir ty street devo ted to such call i ngs ,
,
Mr W e gg selects one dark Shop wi ndow with a tallow candle

.
-
dimly burning i n it surrounded by a muddl e of O bj ects, ,
vaguely resembling pieces of leather and dry stick but among ,
w h ich noth ing is resolvable i nto anything distinct save the ,
candle itself in its old tin can dl estick and two preserved ,
frogs fight i ng a sma l l swo rd duel Stumpin g with fresh -

.
vigour he goes in at the dark greasy entry pushes a li ttle

, ,
greasy dark reluctant side door and follows the door into -
,
the little dark greasy shop It is so dark that nothing can .
b e made out in it over a little counter but another tallow

, ,
candle in another old tin candlestick close to the face of a ,
ma n stooping low i n a chair .
Mr W e g g nods to the face Good evenin g

.
,
.
The face looking up is a sallow face wi th weak eyes sur ,
mounted by a tangle of r e d di s h dusty hair The owner of -

.
th e face has no cravat on, and has opened h i s tumbled shirt

collar to work with the more ease F or the same reason he .
has no coat on : o nl y a loose waistcoat over h i s yel low li nen .
His eyes are l i ke the over tried eyes of an engraver but he -

,
is not that ; his expression and stoop are like those of a

shoemaker b u t he is not that
, .
“
Goo d eve ni ng Mr Venus Don t you remember ?
,
. .
’
With slowly dawning remembrance Mr Venus rises and , .

,
holds his candle over the little counter and holds it down ,
t owards the legs n atural and artificial of Mr W e gg

, ,
. .
”
To be s ur e ! he says then How do you do , .
W e g g you know that gentleman explains

, ,
”
.
”
Yes yes says the other
, , Hospital amputation .
Just so says Mr W e g g ,
”
. .
”
Yes yes q u oth Venus
, ,
How do you do ? Sit down .
by the fire and warm yo u r — your other one

, .
The little counter being so Short a counter that it leaves

the fireplace which would have been behind it if it had bee n
,
longer accessible Mr W e gg sits down on a box in front of

, , .
the fire and inhal es a warm and comfortable smell which is

,
not the smell of the shop “

F or that Mr W e gg inwardly .
,
”
.
decides as he takes a corrective sniff or two is musty

, , ,
leathe ry feathery c e ll a r y gluey g u m n ry and with another

, , , , , ,
”
“ ”
sni ff as it might be Strong of old pairs of bellows
.
,
.
“
My tea is drawing and my mu ffin is on the hob Mr , ,
.
W e gg ; will you partake ?

V ENU S RISE S FRO M THE C OU NTE R 99
It being one of Mr W e g g s guidin g rules in life always to ’
"
partake he says he will But the little S hop is SO excessively

,
.
,
dark is Stuck so full of black Shelves and brackets an d nooks

,
’
and corners that he sees Mr Venus s cup and saucer only
,
.
because it is close under the candle an d does not see from ,
what m ysterious recess Mr Venu s produces another for h im .
self until i t is under his nose Concurrently W e gg perceives

, .
,
a pretty little dead bir d lying on the counter wi th i ts head ,
droopin g on one side against the rim of Mr Venus s saucer .

’
and a long sti ff wire piercing its breast As if it were Cock .
Robin t h e hero of the Ballad and Mr Venus were the

, ,
.
sparrow with his bow and arrow and Mr W e gg were the fly ,

.
with h i s little eye .
Mr Venus dives and produces another muffin yet u n

.
, ,
toasted ; taking the arrow out of the breast of Cock Robin

-
he proceeds to toast it on the end of that cruel instrument .
When it is brown he dives again and produces butter with , ,
which he completes his work .
Mr W e gg as an artful man who is sure of his supper

“
.
,
b y and b y presses muffin on his host t o soothe him into a

- -
,
'
complia nt state of mind or as one migh t say to g r e a s e h i s , , ,
works As the muffins disappear little by little the black

.
, ,
Shelves and nooks and corners begin to appear and Mr W e

gg , .
gradual ly acq uires an imperfect notion that over against hi m

on th e chimneypiece is a Hindoo baby in a bottle curved ,
up with his big head tucked under him as though he would ,
instantly throw a summersault if the bottl e were large

enough .
When he d e e m S Mr Venus s wheels sufficiently lubricated '
.
’
Mr W e gg approaches his object by aski n g a s he lightly

.
,
taps his hands together to express an undesigning frame of ,
mind
“
And how have I been go in g on , this lo n g time Mr , .
Venus
“
Very bad says Mr Venus uncompromisingly , .
, .
What ? Am I still at home asks W e gg with an air ,
of surprise .
“
Always at home .
This would seem to be secretly agreeable to W e gg but he ,
veils his feelings and obse rves “

Stran ge To what do yo u , ,
.
attribute it ?
“ ’
I don t know replies Venus who is a haggard melancholy , ,
“
m an Speaking in a weak v o i c e of querulous co m plaint
, to .
,
I OO O UR MU TU A L FRIEND
“
what to attribute it Mr W e gg I can t wo rk you into a , . .

’
miscellaneou s one noh ow Do what I will you can t be got ,

.
,
’
to fit Anybody with a passable knowledge would pick y o u

.
out at a look and say No go Don t match

,
’
Well but hang it Mr Venus W e gg expostulates with

, ,
.
,
”
“ ’
some little irritation that can t be personal and peculiar in ,
me. It must often happen with miscellaneous ones .

”
With ribs (I grant you ) always But not else When I . .
prepare a miscellaneous one I know beforehand that I can t ,

’
keep to nature and be miscellaneous with ribs because every

, ,
man has his own ribs and no other man s will go with them ; ,
’
but elseways I can be miscellaneous I have j ust sent home

a Beauty—a perfect Beauty — to a school of art One leg
.
Belgian one leg E nglish a nd the pickings of eight other

, ,
people in it Tal k O f not being qualified to be miscellaneous

.
By rights you ough t to be M r W e g g ,

. .
”
Silas looks as hard at his one leg as he can in the dim

“
light and after a pause sulkily opines that it must be the
,
fault of the other people Or how do you mean to say it .
comes about ? he demands impatiently .
“
I don t know how it comes about Stand up a minute
’
. .
”
Hold the light Mr Venus takes from a corner by his chair
. .
,
the bones of a leg and foot beautifully pure a n d put to , ,
gether with exq u isite neatness These he compares with Mr . .
W e gg s leg that gentleman looking on as if he were being

’
,
“ ’
measured for a riding boot No I don t know how it is -
.
, ,
but so it is You have got a twist in that bone to the best

.
,
of my belief I never saw the likes of you

. .
Mr W e gg having looked distrustfully at his own limb

.
,
and suspiciously at the pattern with which it has been com

pared makes the point
,
“
I ll bet a pound that ain t an English one
’ ’
An easy wager when we run SO much into foreign No , ,
i t belongs to that F rench gentleman

”
.
As he nods towards a point of darkness behind Mr W e gg .

,
“
the latter with a slight start looks round for that F rench
, ,
gentleman whom he at length descries to be represented (in

,
”
a very workmanlike manner) by his ribs only Standing on a ,
shelf in another corner like a piece of armou r or a pair of ,
stays .
“
Oh ! says Mr W e gg with a sort of sense of being i n
”
.
,
“
tr o d u c e d ; I dare say you were all right enough in your
own country but I hope no Obj ections will be taken to my
,
THE BO Y AND THE STU FFED C A N A R Y 10
3
saying that the F renchman was never yet born as I sh ould .
”
wish to match .
At this moment the greasy door is violently pushed inward

and a boy follows it who says after having let it slam , ,
Come for the stu ffed canary .
’ “ ”
It s three and ninepence returns Venus have you got ,
the money
The boy produce s four shil lings Mr Venus a lways in ex . .
,
c e e d i n gl y low Spirits and maki n g whimpering sounds peers , ,
about for the stu ffed canary On hi s taking the candle to .
assist his search Mr W e gg observes that h e has a convenient

, .
little shelf near his knees exclu sively appropriated to skeleton ,
hands which have very much the appearance of wanting to

,
lay h old of him F rom these Mr Venus rescues the canary

. .
in a glass case a n d shows it to the boy

, .
“ ’
There he whimpers There s an i mation ! On a twig .
,
mak i ng up his mind to h 0p Take care of him he s a lovely ’
specimen —And three is four

. .
The boy gathers u p his change an d has pulled the door

“
'
open by a leather strap nailed to it for the purp ose when ,
Venu s cries out

“ '
Stop h i m ! Come back you young vil lain ! You ve got ,

’
”
a tooth among them halfpence .
“
How was I to know I d got it ? You giv it me I don t ’
.
’
’
want none of your teeth I ve got enough of my own So , .
the boy pipes as he selects it from his c h a n ge a nd throws it

, ,
on the counter .
Don t sauce m e in the wi c i ou s pride of you r youth Mr

’
, ,
.
“
Venu s retorts pathetically Don t hit m e because you see .
’
’
I m down I m low enough without that It dropped int o
.
’
.
the till I suppose They drop into everything There was

, . .
two in the co ffee pot at breakfast time Molars - -

. .
“ “ ”
Very well then argues the boy,
what do you call , ,
names for
To which Mr Venus only replies shaking h i s shock of
.
,
’
du sty hair and winking his weak eyes Don t sauce m e in
, ,
the wi c i ou s pride of you r youth ; don t hit m e because you

see I m down You ve n o idea how small you d come out if
’
.
’ ’
I had the articulating of you .

”
This consideration seems t o have its e ffect upon the boy ,
for he goes out grumbling .
“
Oh dear me dear me sighs Mr Venus heavily s n u ffin g
, .
, ,
“
the candle the world that appeared so flowery has ceased
,
1 04 O UR MUTUA L FRIEND
- to blow You re casting your eye round the shop Mr

!
’
, .
W e gg Let me show you a light My working bench My

. . .
young man s bench A W i c e Tools Bones wa r i ou s Skulls

’
. . .
,
.
,
wa r i ou s Preserve d In dian baby African ditto : Bottled

. .
preparations wa r i o u s Everything within reach of your hand

,
.
,
in good preservation The mouldy ones a top What s in .

-
.
’
those hampers over them again I don t quite remember Say ,

’
.
,
human wa ri ou s“
Cats Articulated English baby Dogs

. . . .
Ducks Glass eyes wa r i ou s Mummied bird Dried cuticle

.
,
. .
,
wa r i o u s Oh dear me ! That s the general panoramic view

’ ”
. .
Hav ing so held and waved the candle as that all these
heterogeneous obj ects seemed to come for ward obe diently
when they were named an d then retir e again Mr Venu s , , .
“
despondently repe a ts Oh dear me dear me ! resumes hi s , ,
”
seat and with drooping despondency upon him fal ls t o

,
“
pouring himsel f out more tea .
“
Where am I asks Mr W e gg . .
’
You re somewhere in the back shop across the yard sir ,
and speak ing quite candidly I wish I d never bought you of ,

’
the Hospital Po r ter .

”
“
Now look here what did you give for me
, ,
”
Well replies Venus blowing h i s tea his head and face
, ,
peering out of the darkness over the smoke of it as if h e , ,

“
were modernising the old original rise in his family : you
were one of a wa r i ou s lot and I don t know ,
’
.
”
“
Silas puts his point in the improved form of What will .
you take for me

“ ” “
Well replies Venus still blowing his tea I m n ot pre
, , ,
’
pared at a moment s notice to tell you Mr W e gg

,
’
, ,
. .
”
“ ’
Come ! According to your own accou n t I m not worth ,
much W e gg reason s persuasively

,
”
.
“
Not for miscellaneou s worki ng in I grant you Mr W e gg ; , ,
.
but you might turn out valuable yet as a here Mr ,

. .
Venus takes a gulp of tea so hot that it makes him choke , ,

’
and sets his weak eyes wateri ng as a Monstrosity if you ll ,
excuse me .
”
Repressing an indignant look indicative of anyth i ng but a ,
disposition to excuse h im S i las pursues his po i nt ,

.
I think you know me Mr Venu s and I think you know ,

.
,
I never bargain .
Mr Venus takes gulps of h ot tea shutting his eyes at

.
,
every gulp and open ing them agai n in a spasmodic manner ;

,
but does not commit himself to assent .

1 06 O UR MUT U A L F RIEND
Silas receives one from his hand which Venus takes from a ,
wonderful litter in a drawer and putt i ng on hi s spectacles , ,
reads
‘
Mr Venus .
,
Yes Go on . .
Preserver of An imal s and Birds ,
Yes Go on . .
‘
Artic u lator of human bones .
’
That s it with a groan “
,That s it ! Mr W e gg I m
”
.
’
.
,
’
t hi rty two and a bachelor

-
,
Mr W e g g I love her Mr . .
, . .
W e gg she is worthy of bein g loved by a Potentate

, Here
Silas is rather al armed by Mr Venus springin g to his feet in .
the hurry of his spirits and haggardly confrontin g him with ,
his hand on his coat collar ; but Mr Venus begging pardon .

, ,
“
sits down again saying with the cal mness of despair
,
She , ,
”
obj ects to the busin ess .
Does she know the profits of it ?

She knows the profits of it but she don t appreciate the ,
’
‘
I do not wish she writes
’
art of it and she obj ects to it
,
.
,
‘
in her own handwriting to regard myself nor yet to be , ,
regarded in that bony l ight

, .
’
Mr Venus pours himself out more tea with a look and in

.
,
n attitude of the deepest desolation .
“
And so a man climbs to the top of the tree Mr W e gg ,
.
,
’
only to see that there s no look out when he s up there ! I -
’
sit here of a n ight surrounded by the l ovely trophies of my

art and what have they done for me Rui ned me Brought
,
.
me to the pass of being informed that she does not wish to

regard herself nor yet to be regarded in that bony light
, ,
Havi ng repeated the fatal expressions Mr Venus drinks more

-
, .
tea by gulps and o ffers an explanation of his doing so

,
.
“
It lowers me When I m equally l owered all over .
’
,
l e th a r gy s e ts in By stickin g to it till one or two in the

'
morning I get oblivion ,

D on t let me detain you Mr .
’
, .
W e gg I m not company for any one

.
’
.
”
“
It is not on that account says Silas rising but ,
”
, ,
becau se I ve got an appointment ’

It s tim e I was at .
’
’ ”
Harmon s .
“ ” ’
Eh ? said Mr Venus Harmon s up Battle B ridg e
. .
,
way
Mr W e gg admits that he is bound for that port
. .
“ ’
You ought to be in a goo d thing if you ve worked ,
”
yourself in there There s lots of money going there .
’
.
STO RIES OF H ID DEN P RO P ERT Y 1 07
“
To think says Silas that you should catch it up so
, ,
quick and know about it Wonderful

,
.
“
Not at all Mr W e gg The old gentleman wanted to
,
. .
know the nature and worth of every thing that wa s found in

the dust and many s the bone and feather and what not ’
, , ,
that he s brought to me’

.
“ ”
Re ally now ! ,
Yes (Oh dear me dear me I) And he s buried quite in

.
,
’
”
this neighbourhood you know Over yonder ,
. .
Mr W e gg does not know but he makes as if he did by

.
, ,
responsively nodding his head He also follows with his eyes .
the toss of Venus s head : as if to seek a d i rection to over ’
yonder .
“
I took an interest in that discovery in the river says ,
“
Venus (She hadn t written her cutting refusal at that
’
.
tim e ) I ve got up there

. never mind though
’
,
.
He had raised the candle at arm s length towards one of ’
th e dark shelves and Mr W e gg had turned to look when he , .

,
broke off .
“
The old gentleman was well known all round here There .
used to be stories about his havi ng hid den all kind s of

property in those dust mounds I suppose there was nothing -
.
in em
’
Probably you know Mr W e gg ?
.
,
.
“
Nothing in em says W e gg who has never heard a word ’
, ,
of this before .
’
Don t let me detain you Good n ight .
-
The unfortunate Mr Venus gives him a shake of the han d .
with a shake of his own head and drooping down in h is ,
chair proceeds to pour himsel f out more tea

,
.
Mr W e gg looking back over his shoulder as he pulls the

.
,
door open by the strap notices that the movement so shakes ,
the crazy shop and so shakes a momentary flare out of the

,
candle as that the babies— Hindoo African and British — the

, , ,
human war i ou s the F rench gentleman the green glass eyed ,

”
,
- -
cats the dogs the ducks an d all the rest of the collection
, , , ,
Show for an instant as if paralytically animated while even

poor little Cock Robin at Mr Venus s elbow turn s over on .
’
his innocent side Next moment Mr W e gg is stumping .

,
.
under the gaslight s and through the mud .

CH A PT E R VI I I
MR BOFFIN IN CONS UL TATION

.
W HO S OE V ER had gone out of F leet Street into the Temple at

the date of this history and had wandered disconsolate about ,
the Temple until he stumbled on a dismal churchyard and ,
had looked up at the dismal windows commanding that

churchyard until at the most dismal window of them all he
s a w a dismal b oy would in him have beheld at one grand , ,
comprehensive swoop of the eye the managing clerk junior , ,
clerk common law clerk conveyancing clerk chancery clerk

,
-
, , ,
every refinement and department of clerk of Mr Morti ,

.
mer Lightwood erewhile called in the newspapers eminent

,
solicitor .
Mr Bo ffin having been several times in communication

.
with this clerkly essence b o th on its own ground and at the ,
Bower had no difficulty in identifying it when he saw it up

,
in its dusty e yrie To the second floor on which the windo w

.
was Situated he ascended much preoccupied in mind by the

, ,
u ncertainties besetting the R oman Empire and much regret ,
ting the death of the amiable Pertinax : who only last night
had left the Imperial a ffairs in a state of great confusion by ,
falling a victim to the fu ry of the praetorian guards .
“
Morning morning morning ! said Mr Bo ffin with a
, ,
”
.
,
wave of his hand as the o ffice door was opened by the ,

’ “
dismal b oy W hose appropriate name was Blight Governo r
,
.
in
“
Mr Lightwood gave you an appointment sir I think
.
, ,
I don t want h i m to give it y o u know returned Mr

’
, ,
.
“
Bo ffin
”
I ll pay my way my boy’
,
.
“
No do u bt sir Would you walk in ? Mr Lightwoo d
,
. .
’
ain t in at the present moment but I expect him back very ,
’
Shortly Would you take a seat in Mr Lightwood s room
. . .
”
sir while I look over our Appointment Book ?
, Young
Blight made a great show of fetching from his desk a long
I IO OUR M UTU A L FRIE ND
The boy answered that he had not yet quite worked out that
little calculation .
I suppose there s nothi ng to prevent your goin g i n for ’
it said Mr Bo ffin . .
The boy virtually replied that as he had the honour t o be a

Briton who never never never there was nothing to prevent , , ,
his going i n for it Yet he seemed incli ned to suspect that

.
there mi ght be someth i ng to prevent his comi ng out with it .
“
Would a couple of pound help you up at all ? asked Mr .
Bo ffin .
On this head young Blight had no doubt whate ver so Mr

, , .
Bo fii n made him a present of that sum of money and thanked ,
him for his attention to hi s (Mr Bo ffin s ) affairs which he .

’
, ,
added were now he believed as good as settled

, , ,
.
Then Mr Bo fii n with hi s stick at his ear l i ke a F amil iar

.
, ,
Spirit explai ning the o ffice to h i m sat staring at a little book ,
case of Law Practice and La w Reports and at a window and , ,
at an empty blu e bag and at a stick of seal i ng wax and a pen ,

-
, ,
and a box of wafers and an apple an d a wr it i ng pad— all very , ,

-
dusty — and at a number of inky smears and blots and at an ,
imperfectly disguised gun case preten d ing t o b e something

- -
legal and at an i ron b ox labelled H AR MON E S TAT E until Mr

, , .
Lightwood appe ared .
Mr Lightwood explai ned that he came from th e proct or s ’
with whom he had been engaged in transacting Mr Boffin s .

’
affair s .
“ ”
And they s e em to have taken a deal out of you ! said
Mr Bo fii n with commiseration
.
,
.
Mr Lightwood without explaining that his weariness was

.
,
chronic proceeded with his exposition that all forms of law

, ,
having been at length complied with wil l of Harmon deceased ,
having been proved death of Harmon next inheriting having ,
been proved & c and so forth Court of Chancery having

, .
, ,
been moved & c and so forth he Mr Lightwood had n ow

,
.
, , , .
,
the great gratification honour and happiness again & c an d , , , .
so forth of congratulating Mr Ro tfin on coming into

,
.
possession as residuary legatee of upwards of one hundred

, ,
thousand pounds standing in the books of the Governor ,
and Company of the Bank of England again & c and so forth ,

. .
An d what is particularly eligible in the property Mr , .
B o ffin is that it involves no trouble

, ,
There are no estates .
to manage n o rents to return so much per cent upon in

,
.
bad times (which is an extremely dear way of getting your

MR . LI G H TWOO D AND MR B O FFI N. I I I
name into the newspapers) no voters to become parboiled in ,
hot water with no agents to take the cream off the m i lk

,
before it comes to table You could put the whole in a

.
.
cash box to morrow morning and take it with you to — say

- -
, ,
”
to the Rocky Mountains Inasmuch as every man concluded .
,
“
Mr Lightwood with an indolent smil e appears to be under
.
, ,
a fatal Spell which obliges him sooner or later to mention , ,
the Rocky Mountains in a tone of extreme familiarity to some

’
other man I hope you ll excuse my pressing you into the
,
service of that gigantic range of geographical bores .

”
Without following this last remark very closely Mr Boffin , .
cast his perplexed gaze first at the ceiling and then at the ,
carpet .
“
Well he remarked
,
“
I don t know what to say about ,
’
’ ’
it I am sure I was a m o s t as well a s I was It s a great
,
. .
”
lot to take care of .
“
My dear Mr Bofii n then d on t take care of it .
,
’
Eh said that gentleman .
Sp eaking now returned Mortimer , with th e i r r es po n

,
sible imbecility of a private individual and not with the ,
profundity of a professional adviser I should say that if the ,
circumstance of its being too much weighs upon you r mind , ,
you have the haven of consolation open to you that you can
easily make it less And if yo u shoul d be apprehensive of .
the trouble of doing so there is the furthe r haven of conso ,
lation that any number of people will take the trouble off
your hands .
”
“
Well ! I don t quite see it retorted Mr Boffin still’
, .
,
’
perplexed That s not satisfactory you know what you re
.
, ,
’
a saying
-
.
Is Anything satisfactory Mr Boffin asked Mortimer , .

,
raising his eyebrows .
I used to find it so answered Mr Boffin with a wistful

While I was foreman at the B ower—afore it wa s
, .
,
“
look .
the Bower — I considered the business very s atisfactory The .
old man was a awful Tartar (saying it I m sure without ,

’
disrespect to his memory ) but the business was a pleasant ,
one to look after from before daylight to past dark It s , .

’
“
’
a m os t a pity said Mr Bo ffin rubbing his ear
, that he .
, ,
ever went and made so much money It would have been .
better for h i m if he hadn t so given hi m self up to it You ’

.
”
may depend upon it making the discovery all of a sudden , ,
“
that h e found it a great lot to take care of
O UR MU TU A L FRIEND
’
I I2
Mr Lightwood coughed not convinced

.
, .
“
“
And speaking of sat i sfactory pursued Mr Bofii n why ,
”
.
, ,
L ord save us ! when we come to take it to pieces bit by bit , ,
where s the satisfactori ness of the money as yet ? When the

’
old man does right the poor boy after all the poor boy gets ,
no good of it He gets made away with at the m oment .

,
when he s lifting (as one may say) the cup and s a r s e r to his
’
lips Mr Lightwood I will now name to you that o n behalf

. .
, ,
of th e poor dear boy me and Mrs Boffm hav e stood ou t , .

-
against the old man times out of number t i ll he has called ,
us every na m e he could l a y his ton gue to I have seen him .

,
after Mrs Boffin has given him her min d respecting the
.
claims of the n a t r a l a ffections catch o ff Mrs Boffin s bonnet’
, .
’
(she wore in general a black straw perched as a matter of

, , ,
convenience on the top of her head ) and send it spinning ,
across the yard I have indeed And once when he did . .

,
this in a manner that amounted to personal I should have ,

’
given him a rattler for himself if Mrs Botfin hadn t thrown ,
.
herself b etwixt us and received flush on the temple Which ,

.
dropped her Mr Lightwood Dropped her ,

. . .
M r L ightwood murmured Equal honour — Mrs Boffin s

.
“
.
’
”
head and heart .
“ “
You understand I name this pursued Mr Boffin to , .
,
S how you now the a ffairs are woun d up that me and M rs

, ,
.
Bo fii n have ever stood as we were i n Christian honour bound , ,
the children s friend Me and Mrs Boffin stoo d the poor

’
. .
girl s friend ; me and Mrs Bo ffin stood the poor boy s friend
’
.
’
me and Mrs Bo fii n up and faced the old man when we

.
momently expe cted to be turned out for our pa i ns As to .
_
.
Mrs Boffin . said Mr B offin lo wering his v oice

,
”
she .
, .
,
mightn t wish it mentioned now she s F ashionable but she

’ ’
,
went so far as to tell him in my presence he was a fii n ty , ,

”
hearted rascal .
Mr Lightwood murmured Vigorous Saxon spirit — Mrs

.
“
.
Bo ffin s ancestors — bowmen — Agincourt and Cressy;

’ ”
“
The last time me and Mrs Boifi n saw the poor boy said .
,
Mr Bo ffin warming (as fat usually does) with a tendency to

.
, ,
“
melt he was a child of seven year old F or when he come
,
.
back to make interce ssion for h i s sister me and Mrs Bo ffin ,

.
were away overlooking a country contract which was to be

sifted before carted and he was come and gone in a single ,
hour I say he was a child of seven year old He was go i ng

. .
away all alone and forlorn to that foreign school and he

, , ,
I I 4 OUR MU TUA L FRIE ND
S pot where lawy er s dust is contracted for I come do wn here’

,
i n search of a la wyer to advise and I see your young man ,
up at this present elevation chopping at the flies on the ,
window sill with his penknife and I give him a B oy ! not

-
,
then having the pleasure of your ac quaintance and by that ,
means come to gain the honour Then you and the gentle .
,
man i n the uncomfortable neckcloth under the little archway

in Saint Paul s Churchyard ’
Do ctors Commons observed L ightwood

’
,
”
.
I understood i t was another name said Mr Both u ,

”
.
,
“
pau sing but you know best
, Then y o u and Doctor .
Sc o m m o n s y ou go to work and you do the thing that s

’
, ,
proper and you and Doctor S take steps for finding out the
,
.
poor boy and at last you d o fin d out the poor boy and me
, ,
‘
and Mrs Bofii n often exchange the observation We S hall
.
,
’
see him again under happy circu mstances ,
But it was .
never to be ; and the want of satisfactoriness is that after ,
all the money never gets to him .

”
B ut it gets remarked Lightw ood with a languid i n

,
”
,
“
c li n a ti o n of the head into excellent hands ,
.
“
It gets into the hands of me and Mrs Bo fli n only this .
’ ’
very day and hour an d that s what I m working round to ,
.
,
having waited for thi s day and hou r a purpose Mr Light ’

. .
wood here has been a wicked cruel murder By that murder

, .
me and Mrs Bo fli n mysteriously profit F or the apprehension

. .
and conviction of the murderer we o fle r a reward of one

tithe of the property—a reward of Ten Thousand Pound
,
”
.
Mr Boffin it S too much

.
,
’
.
”
Mr Lightwood me and Mrs Boffinhave fixed the sum

.
, .
together and we stand to it

, .
“
B u t let me represent to you returned Lightwood , ,
Speaking now with professional profundity and not with ,
indi vidual imbecility that the o fle r of such an immense ,
reward is a temptation to forced suspicion forced constru e ,
tion of circumstances strained accusation a whole tool box , ,

-
of edged tools .
”
“ ” “ ’
Well said Mr Bo fli n a little staggered
, that s the .
, ,
sum W e put 0 one Side for the purpose Whether it shall be

’
.
openly declared in the new notices that must now be put

about in ou r names
“
In your name Mr Boffin ; in your name ,
. .
Very well ; in my name which is the same as Mrs ,

.
Bo ffin s and means both of us is to be considered in drawing

’
, ,
MR B OFFI N
. I NSTRU C TS HI S L AW Y ER I I
5
’
em up But this is the first instruction that I as the owner
.
,
”
of the property give to my lawyer on coming into it
,
.
Your lawyer Mr Bofli n returned Lightwood making a

,
.
,
”
,
“
very short note of it with a very rusty pen has the g ra ti fi ,
cation of takin g the instruction There is another .
“
There is j ust one other an d no more Make me as com ,
.
pact a little will as can be reconciled with tightness leaving ,
th e whole of the property to my beloved wife He n e r i e tty

‘
,
.
Bo ffin sole executrix Make it as short as you can u sing ’

.
, ,
those words but make it tight .
At some loss to fathom Mr Boffin s n otions of a tight will .

’
Lightwood felt his way .
“
I beg your pardon but professional profundity must be ,
exact When you say tight

.
“
I mean tight Mr Boifin explained ,
”
. .
Exactly so And nothi n g can be more laudable But

. .
is the tightness to bind Mrs Bo ffin to any and what con .
d i ti o n s ?
“
Bind Mrs Boffin interposed her husband
. No .
What are you thinki n g of ? What I want is to make it all ,

’ ”
hers so tight as that her hold of it can t be loosed .
Hers freely to do what she likes with Hers absolutely

,
Absolutely ? repeated Mr Bo ffin with a short sturdy

”
.
,
laugh Hah ! I should thi n k so

. It would be handsome
in me to begin to bind Mrs Bo fli n at this time of day l .
So that i nstruction too was taken by Mr L ightwood ; , ,

.
and Mr Lightwood having taken it was in the act of show

.
, ,
i n g M r Bo ffin out when Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n almost

.
,
.
j ostled him in the doorway Consequently Mr Lightwood . .
“
said in his cool manner L et me make you two known to
, ,
one another and further signified that Mr W r a yb u r n was

,
”
.
counsel learned in the law and that pa r tly i n the way of , ,
business and partly in the way of pleasure he had imparted ,
to Mr W r a y b u r n some of the interesting facts of Mr Bo ffin s

. .
’
biography .
“
Delighted said Eugene — though he didn t look so
,
’
to know Mr Bofli n . .
“ “
Thankee sir thankee returned that gentleman
, ,
And , .
how d o you like the l a w

“
A no t particularly retu rned Eugene , .
Too dry for you eh ? Well I suppose it wants some , ,

’
years of sticking to before you master it But there s , .
nothing like work L ook at the bees . .

”
I beg your pardon returned Eugene with a relu ctant .
, ,
“
smile but will you excuse my mentioning that I a lways
,
protest against being referred to the bees ? ”
D O you ! said Mr Boffin

”
. .
”
I object on principle said Eugene as a biped , ,
AS a what ? asked Mr Bo fli n . .
As a two footed creature — I obj ect on principle as

-
,
a two footed creature to being constan tly referred to insects

-
,
and four foote d creatures I object to being required to

-
. .
model my proceedings according to the proceedings of the

bee or the dog or the spider or the camel I fully admit
, , , .
that the camel for instance is an excessively temperate , ,
person ; but he has several stomachs to entertain himself ,
with and I have only one Besides I am not fitted up w ith

,
-
.
,
a convenient cool cellar to keep my drink in .

”
But I said you know urged Mr Bo ffin rather at a loss

, ,
”
.
,
for an answer the bee , .

”
‘
Exactly An d may I represent to you that it s i n
. .
’
j udicious to say the bee ? F or the whole case is assumed .
Conceding for a moment that there is any analogy bet ween

a bee and a man in a Shirt and pantaloons (which I deny) ,
and that it is settled that the man is to learn from the bee
(which I also deny) the question still remains What is h e , ,
to learn ? To imitate ? Or to avoid When your friends

the bees worry themselves to that highly fluttered extent
abo ut their sovereign an d become perfectly distracte d touch ,
ing the slightest monarchical movement are we men to learn ,
the greatness of T a ft hunting or the littleness of the Court -

,
Circular ? I am not clear Mr Bo ffin but that the hive may ,

.
,
be satirical .
“
At all events they work said Mr Boffin , ,
. .
“
Ye es returned Eugene disparagingly they work but
”
-
, , ,
don t y ou thin k they ove rdo it ? They work so much more

’
than they need —they make so much more than they can eat
—they are so incessantly boring and buzzing at their one
idea till Death comes upon them — that don t you think they ’
overdo it ? And are human labourers to have no holidays ,
because of the bees And am I never to have change of air ,
because the bees don t Mr Bofli n I think honey excellent ’

.
,
at breakfast ; but regarded in the light of my conventional

schoolmaster and moralist I protest against the tyrannical ,
humbug of your friend the bee With the highest respect .
”
for you .
I I 8 O UR M UTU A L FRIEND
place —I think it is called Clifford s Inn — where we can hea r ’
one another better than in the roaring street ?

“
thought Mr Boffin if he proposes a game at .
,
skittles or meets a country gentleman j ust come into

,
property or produces any article of j ewellery he has found

, ,
”
I ll kn ock him down !
’
With this discree t reflection and ,
carrying his stick in his arms much as Punch carries his ,
Mr Bo fli n turned into Clifford s Inn aforesaid )

. .
‘
Mr Bofli n I happened to be in Chance ry Lane this
.
,
morning when I saw you going along before me I took

,
.
the liberty of following you trying to make up my mind t o ,

’
speak to you till you went into you r lawyer s Then I
, .
waited outside till you came out

”
.
“
( Don t quite sound like skittles nor yet country gentle
’
,
“
man nor yet j ewellery thought Mr Bofli n
,
but there s ,
”
.
,
’
no knowing .
I am afraid my obj ect is a bold one I am afraid it has ,
little of the usual practical world about it but I venture it , .
If you ask me or if you ask you rself — which is more likely

,
what emboldens me I answer I have been s trongly assured , ,
that you are a man of rectitude and plain dealing with the ,
soundest of soun d hearts and that you are blessed in a wife ,
distinguished by the same qualities .
“
Your information is true of Mrs Boffin anyhow was .
, ,
Mr Boffin s answer as he surveyed his n e w friend again

.
’
,
.
T h ere was something repressed in the strange man s manner ’
and he wal ked with his eyes on the ground — though con
scious for all that of Mr Bo fii n s o b s e r va ti on a n d he
, ,
.
’
fi
spoke in a subdued voice But his words came easily an d .

,
his voice was agreeable in tone albeit constrained ,

.
“
When I add I can discern for myself what the general
,
tongue says of you — that you are quite unspoiled by F ortune ,
and not uplifted — I trust you will not as a man of an open ,
nature suspect that I mean to flatter you but will believe

, ,
that all I mean is to excuse myself these being my only ,

”
excuses for my present intrusion .
How much thought Mr Bo ffin It must be coming . .
to money How much .
“
You will probably change your manner of living Mr , .
‘
Bo fli n in your changed circumstances
,
You will probably .
keep a larger house have many matters to arrange and be , ,
beset by numbers of correspondents If you would try me .
as your Secretary
A S IN GU L A R O FFER 1 1
9
AS wh a t ? cried Mr Boffin with his eyes wide open . , .
Your Secretary .
“
Well said Mr Boffin under his breath that s a queer
,
.
, ,
’
th i ng ! ”
“
Or pursued the stranger wondering at Mr Bo ffin s
, ,
.
’
“
wonder if you would try me as your m a n of business
,
under any name I know you would find me faithful and ,
grateful an d I hope you would find me u seful You may

, .
naturally think that my immediate obj ect is money Not .
so for I would wil lingly serve you a year~—

,
two years— any
term you might appoint — before that should begin to be
”
a consideration between us .
“
Where do you come from asked Mr Bo ffin . .
“
I come returned the other meeting his eye
,
”
from , ,
many countries .
”
Mr Bo ffin s acquaintance with the names and situations

.
’
of foreign lands being limited in extent and somewhat con

fused in quality he shaped his next question on an elastic,
model .
F rom— any particular place

I have been in many places .
What have you been ? a sked Mr Bo fli n . .
Here again he made no great advance for the reply was , ,
I have been a student and a traveller .

”
But if it ain t a liberty to plump it out said Mr Bofii n

’
,
.
,
what do you d o for you r living ?

“ ”
I have mentioned returned the other with another , ,
“
look at him and a smile what I aspire to do I have been
, ,
.
superseded as to some slight intentions I had and I may ,
say that I have now to begi n life .

”
Not very well knowing how to get rid of this applicant ,
and feeling the more embarr asse d because his manner and
appearance claimed a delicacy in whi ch the worthy Mr .
Boffin fear ed he himself might be deficient that gentleman ,
glanced into the mouldy little plantation o r cat preserve ,

-
of Clifford s Inn as it was that day in search of a s u g

’
, ,
gestion Sparrows were there cats were there dry rot and
.
, ,
-
wet rot were there but it was not otherwise a suggestive

- .
spot .
“
All this time said th e stranger producing a li ttle , ,
“
p ocket book and taking out a card I have not mentioned
-
,
my name My name is Rok e s m i th . I lodge at one Mr . .
W ilfe r s at Holloway’
, .
”
Mr Boffin stared again

. .
“
F ather of Miss Bella Wilfer said he .
My landlord has a daughter named Bella Yes ; no .
doub t
Now this name had been more or less i n Mr Boffin s
, .
’
thoughts all the morning and for days before therefore he , ,
said
“ ’
That s singular too staring again past
, ,
all bounds of good manners with the card i n his hand

'
.
,
“
Though b y the b y I suppose it was one of that family
'
- -
, ,
that p i n te d me out ?
No I have never been in the streets with one of them
. .
Heard me talked of among em though ’
No I occupy my own rooms and have held scarcely

.
,
”
any communication with them
Odder and O dder ! said Mr Bo ffin
.
“
Well Si r to tell ” '
.
,
you the truth I don t know what t o say to y ou

,
’
,
.
“
Say nothing returned Mr Ro k e s m i th ,
“
allow me to .
c all on yo u in a few days I a m not so unconscionable as to .
think i t likely that you would a ccept me on trust at first '
S ight and take me out of the very street

,
Let me come to .
you for you r further O pinion , at your leisure .
“ “
That s fair and I don t object said Mr Bofli n ; but
’
,
’
,
”
.
it must be on condition that it s fully understood that I no ’
more know that I Shall ever be in want of any gentleman as

Secretary — i t wa s Secretary y o u said wasn t it ? ’
“
Yes .
Again Mr Boffin s eyes O pened wide and he stared at th e’
applicant from head to foot repeating Queer —You re sure

.
,
’
, ,
it was Secretary Are you

“
I am sure I said so .
—A S Secretary repeated Mr Bo fli n meditating upon ,

”
.
,
“
the word ; I no more know that I may ever want a Secretary ,
or what not than I do t hat I Shall ever be in want of the

,
‘
man in the moon Me and Mrs Bofii n have not even . .
settled that we shall make any change in our way of life .
Mr s Bofli n s inclinations certainly do tend towards Fashion

'
’
.
but being already set up in a f ashionable way at the Bower

, ,
she may not make further alterations However Si r as .

, ,
you don t press y ourself I wish to meet you so far as saying

’
, ,
by all means call at the Bo wer if you l ike Call in the

“
course of a week or two At the same ti me I c on s i d e r that .

,
I ought to name in addition to what I have already named

, ,
C HA P T ER I X
-
MR . AND MRS BOFFI N IN CONSUL TATIO N

.
BE T AK IN G himself straight home ward Mr Boffin without ,

.
,
further let or hindrance arrived at the Bower and gave , ,
Mrs Bofli n (in a walking d r e SS O f black velvet and feathers

'
.
,
like a mourning coach horse) a n a c c o u n t of all he had said

-
“
and done s ince breakfast .
“
This brings us round my dear he then pursued to , ,
‘
,
’
the question we left unfinished namely whether there s to ,
be any new go i n for F ash ion -

.
‘
N ow I ll tell you what I want Noddy said Mrs Bofii n
’
.
, , ,
smoothing her dress with an air of immense enj oyment ,
I want Society .
F ashionable Society my dear ? ,
Yes cried Mrs Boffin laughing with the glee of a

” '
.
,
“
child .Yes ! It s no good my being kept here like Wax ’
Work ; is it now ? ”
People h ave to pay to see Wax ~ work my dear r e , ,

“
turned her hu sband whereas (though you d be cheap at ,
’
the same money) the neighbours is welcome to see y ou fo r

”
n othin g .
“
But it don t answer said the cheerful Mrs Boffin
’
,
. .
When we worked like the neighbours we suite d one ,
another Now we have left work o ff we have left off

.
,
suiting one another .
“
Wh at do you think of beginning work again ? Mr
,
”
.
Bo ffin hinted
’
.
“
Out of the question We have come into a great fortune ,
and we must do what s right by our fortune ; we must act ’
up to it .
”
Mr Bo fii n who had a deep respect for his wife s intuitive

.
,
’
“
wisdom replied though rather pensively : I suppose we
, ,
must .
”
“ ’
It s never been acted up to yet and consequently n o , , ,
good has come of it said Mrs B ofli n ,

”
. .
MRS B O FFIN V IEWS
’
. S 12
3
'
True to the present time Mr Bo fli n assented with his

, , .
,
former pensiveness as he took h i s seat upon h i s settle

,
I .
h ope good may be comin g of it in the future time Towards .
which what s your views O ld lady

,
’
Mrs Bofli n a smiling creature broad of figure and simple

.
, ,
of nature with her h an ds folded in her lap and with buxom

, ,
creases in her throat proceeded to expound her views ,

.
“
I say a good house in a goo d neighbourhood good things ,
about u s good living and good society I say , live like our
, ,
.
”
means without extravagance and be happy
, ,
.
“
Yes I say be happy too a ssented the stil l pensive
.
, ,
Mr Bofli n
. .
“
Lor a mussy
- -
exclaimed Mrs Bofli n laughing and .
,
clappin g her hands , an d gaily rocking h erself to an d fro ,

“
when I th i nk of me in a light yellow chariot and pair .
with silver boxes to the wheels

Oh you was thinking of that, was you my dear ,
” “
Yes ! cried the delighted creature And with a foot .
man up behind with a bar across to keep his legs from

, ,
being poled ! And with a coachman up in front sinking ,
down into a seat big enough for th r e e o f him all cov ered
‘
with u pholstery in green an d white ! And with two bay

horses tossing their heads and stepping higher than they
trot long ways ! And with you a n d me leaning back inside
-
as gran d as n i nepen ce ! Oh h h h My ! Ha ha ha ha ha ! - - -
”
Mrs Boff m clapped her hands again rocked herself agai n

.
, ,
beat her feet u pon the floor and wiped the tears of laughter ,
from her eyes .
“
And what my old lady inquir ed Mr Bo fli n when he
, ,
”
.
,
“ ’
also had sympathetically laughed : what s your views on
”
the subject of the Bower ?
“
Shut it up Don t part with it but put somebody in it
.
’
, ,
to keep it .
”
Any other views

Noddy said Mrs Boffin coming from her fashionable
, .
,
sofa to his S ide on the plain settle an d hooking her com

Next I think —and I really have
,
fo r ta b l e arm through his “

,
been thinking early and late of the disappointed girl ; her

that was so cruelly disappointed you know both of her , ,
husband and his riches Don t you think we might do .

’
something for her ? Have her to live wi th us ? Or some

thing o f that sort
Ne ver once thought of the way of doing it ! cried Mr
-
”
.
12 4 O UR MU TU AL FRIEND
B ofli n, s m iting the table i n his admiration What a think .
ing stea m i n ge i n this old lady is ! And she don t know how
-
’
Sh e does it Neither does the i n g e i n

.
Mrs Bo th u pulled his nearest ear , in a cknowledgment of

.
this piece of philosophy and then said gradually toning , ,

“
down to a motherly strain : Last and not least I have , ,
taken a fancy You re m e m ber dear little J ohn Harmon

.
.
,
before he went to school ? O v er yo nder across the yard

at our fire ? No w that he is past all benefit of the money
,
and it s co m e to us I should like to find some orphan child

’
, ,
and take the boy and adopt him and give him J ohn s name ’
and provi de for him Somehow it would make me easier .

, ,
I fa n cy Say it s only a whi m

.
’
“
B u t I don t say so interposed her husband
’ ”
.
,
No but deary if you did

, ,
I should be a Beast if I did her husband interposed ,
aga i n .
’
That s as much as to say you agree Good and kind of
you and like you deary ! And don t y o u begin to find it
, ,
’
pleasant now said Mrs Bo fli n once more radiant in her

, .
,
comely way from head to foot and once more smoothing her ,
“
dress with i mmense enj oyment don t you begin to find i t ,
’
pleasant already to think that a child will be made brighter

, ,
and better and happier because of that po or sad child that

, ,
day ? And isn t it p leasant to know that the good wil l be

’
done with the poor sad child s O wn money ’
Yes and it s pleasant to know that you are Mrs Boffin

’
.
,
said her husband “

and it s been a pleasant thing to kno w
,
’
this many and many a year ! It was ruin to Mrs Bo fli n s ”

.
’
aspirations but h av ing so spoken they sat Side by side

, , , ,
a h opelessly Unfashionable pair .
These two ignorant and unpolished people h a d guided

-
themselves so far on in their j ourney of life by a religious ,
sense of d u ty and desire to do right Ten thousand weak .
'
n esses and absurdities might have been d ete cted in the
‘
breasts of both ; ten thousand vanities additional possibly , ,
in the breast of the woman But the hard wrathful and .
sordid nature that h ad wrung as much work out of them as

could be got in their best days for as little money as could ,
be paid to hurry on their worst had never been so warped ,
but that it knew their moral straightness an d respected it .
In its own despite in a constant conflict with itself and ,
them it had d one so And this is the eternal law F or

,
. .
,
12 6 OUR M UTU A L FRIEND
perfect Sepulchre of coat and gaiters seal ed with p onderou s ,
buttons .
Behind this domestic Mr and Mrs Bo ffin took their seats , . .
in the back compartment of the vehicle : which was s u ffi

c i e n tl y commodious but had an u n d i gn i fie d a n d a l a r m i n g
,
tendency in getting over a rough crossing to hiccup itself

, ,
away from the front compartment On their being descried .
emerging from the gates of the Bower the neighbourhood ,
turned out at door and window to salute the Bo fii n s Among .
those who were ever and again left behind staring after the ,
equipage were many youthful spirits who hailed it in

, ,
stentoria n tones with such congratulations as Nod d y B of -
“ “
fin B of fin s mon e y Down with the dust Bof fin
’
- - -
,
.
and other Similar compliments These the hammer headed .

,
-
young man to ok in such ill part that he often impaired the

maj esty of the progress by pulling up short and making as ,
though he would alight to exterminate th e o ffenders a pur

pose from which he only allowed himself to be dis suaded after
long and lively arguments with his employers .
At length the Bower district was left behind and the peace
ful d welling of the Reverend F rank Mi l v e y was gained The
,
Re verend F rank Mi l v e y s abode was a very modest abode

.
’
,
b e c a u s e h i s income was a very modest income - He was .
o ffic i a ll y a c c e s s i bl e to every blunder i ng old woman who had

-
incoherence to bestow upon him and readily received the ,
Bo fli n s . He wa s q u i te a young man expensively educated ,
and wretchedly paid with quite a young wife and half a dozen
,
- -
quite young children He was under the necessity of teaching

.
‘
and t ranslating from the classics t o eke out his scanty means , ,
yet was generally expected to have more tim e to spare than

the idlest person in the parish and more money than the ,
richest . He accepted the needless inequalities and i n c o n

s i s te n c i e s of his life with a kind of conventional submission
,
that was almost slavish and any daring layman who would
have adj usted s uch burdens as his more decently and ,
gracio u sly would have had small help from him

,
.
With a ready patient face and manner and yet with a latent ,
smile that sho wed a quick enough O bservation of Mrs Bo ffin s

’
.
dress Mr Mil v e y in his little back room— charged with

, .
,
-
sounds and cries as though the six children above were coming
down through the ceiling, and the roasting leg of mutton
below were coming up through the floor — listened to Mr s .
Boffin s statement of her want of an orphan

’
.
THE BO FF IN P RO G RE SS
1
3 0 OUR MUTU A L FRIEND
he considers it again — that you could possibly keep that orphan

clean from snu ff Because his grandmother takes so m a ny .
ounces and drops it over him

,
.
”
“
But he would not be living with his grandmother then
Margaretta said Mr Mi l ve y
,
”
. .
,
N 0 F rank but it woul d be impossible to keep her from

, ,
Mrs Boffin s house a nd the more there was to eat and drink
.
’
there the oftener she would go An d she i s an inconvenient

, .
woman I h op e it s not uncharitable to remember that last

.
’
Christma s Eve she drank eleven cups of tea and grumbled all ,
the ti me And she is n ot a grateful woman F rank You

.
, .
recollect her addressing a crowd outside this house about her ,
wrongs when one night after we had gone to bed she brought
, , ,
back the petticoat of new flannel that had b e en given her ,

”
because it was too Short
That s true said Mr Mil v e y
.
“ ’ ” ’
I don t think that
, . .
would do Would little Harrison .
“
Oh Fr a nk ,
remonstrated his emphatic wife .
He has no grandmother my dear , .

”
N 0 but I d on t think Mrs BOffin would like an orphan

’
.
,
who squints so m u c h
That s true again said Mr Mi lv e y becoming haggard
.
‘ ’
.
, ,
“
th perplexity If a little girl would d o .
“
But my d ea r F rank Mr Boffi n wants a b oy .
That s true again said Mr Mi l v e y

.
, ,
“
’
Tom Bocker is a ,
”
.
nice boy (thoughtfully)

But I d ou bt F rank Mrs Mil ve y hin ted after a little
.
“
, ,
.
,
hesitation “
if Mrs Boffin wants an orphan qu i te ni neteen
,
. ,
”
who drives a cart and waters the roads .
Mr Mil v e y referred the point to Mrs Bo ffin in a look on

. .
that smiling lady s shaking her black velvet bonnet and bows ’
,
“ ’ ”
he remarked in lower Spirits That s true again
, ,
.
“
I am sure said Mrs Boffin concerned at giving so much
,
”
.
,
trouble “
that if I had known you would have taken so
much pains sir—an d you too ma am — I do nt think I would
,
’ ’
, ,
”
have come
urged Mrs Mil v e y
.
P r a y don t say that

’
No don t say that assented Mr Mi l ve y

. .
“
,
’
because we ,
”
.
,
”
are so much obliged to you for giving us the preference .
Which Mrs Mil v e y confirmed and really the kind c on s c i e n

. ,
tiou s couple spoke as if they kept some profitable orphan

“
warehouse and were personally patronised But it is a r e .
sponsible trust added Mr Mi l ve y and difficult to discharge

“
,
”
.
,
.
G ENE ROSIT Y
’
MR B O FFIN
. S 1
31
At the same time we are naturally very unwilling to lose
,
the chance you so kindly give us and if you could afford u s

a day or two to look about u S —
,
you know Margaretta we , , ,
might carefully examine the workhouse and the Infant Sch ool , ,
and your District .

”
To be s u r e said the emphatic little wife

We have orphans I know pursued Mr Mi l v e y quite
.
”
.
, , ,
“
with the air as if he might have added i n stock and , ,
qui te as anxiously as if there were great competition in the

“
business an d he were afraid of losing an order over at the ,
clay pits but they are employed by relations or friends and

-
,
I am afraid it would come at last to a transaction in the

way of barter And even if you exchanged blankets for the
.
child — o r books and fir i n g — i t would be impossible to prevent

their being turn ed into liquor
Accordingly it was resolved that Mr and Mrs Mi l v e y
.
. .
,
S hould search for an orphan likely to suit an d as free as ,
possible from the foregoing obj ections a n d should c om m u ,
nicate again with Mrs Bofli n Then Mr Bo ffin took the

liberty of mentioni ng to Mr Mi l v e y that if Mr Mi l v e y
. . .
,
. .
would do him the kindness to be perpetually his ban ker to

“
the extent of a twenty pound n ote or so to be expended -
,
”
without any reference to him he would be heartily obliged

At this both Mr Milv e y and Mrs Mi l v e y were quite as
.
,
. .
,
much pleased as if they had no wants of their own but only ,
knew what poverty was in the person s of other people and ,
so the interview terminated with satisfaction and good opinion

on all sides .
“
Now old lady said Mr Bo fli n as they resumed their
, , .
,
“
seats behind the hammer headed horse and man : havin g -
made a very agreeable visit there we ll try W i l fe r s ,

’ ’
.
”
It appeared on their drawing u p at the family gate that

, ,
to try W i lfe r s was a thing more easil y proj ected than d one
’
on account of the extreme di fficulty of getting into that

establishment three pulls at the bell producing no external
result though each was attended by audible sounds of scam
pering and rushing within At the fou rth tug—vindictively
,
adm i nistered by the hammer headed young man — Miss Lavinia -
ap peared emerging from the house in an accidental manner

, ,
with a bonnet and parasol as designing to take a contempla ,
tive walk The young lady was astonished to find visitors

.
at the gate and expressed her feeli n gs in appropriate action

, .
“
Here s Mr and Mrs Boffin
’
. growled the ham mer .
1
32 O UR MUTU A L FRIEN D
headed young man through the bars of the gate and at the ,
same time shaking it as if he were on view in a Menagerie ,
they ve been here half a n hour

’
- -
.
”
Who did you say ? asked Miss Lavinia .
Mr and Mrs B O FF IN
. returned the young man rising
.
,
into a roar .
Miss Lavinia tripped up the steps to the hou se door -

,
tripped do wn the steps with the key tripped across the little ,
garden and opened the gate

,
Please to walk in said .
,
”
“
Miss Lavinia haughtily Our servant is out
,
. .
‘
Mr and Mrs Bo fli n complying an d pausing in the little
. .
,
hall until Miss Lavin ia came up to S how them where to go

next perceived three pairs of listening legs upon the stair s
,
above Mrs W il fe r s legs, Miss Bella s legs Mr George

. .
’ ’
,
.
Sampson s legs ’
.
“
Mr and Mrs Boffin I think
. said La v m i a I n a warn
.
, ,
ing voice .
Strained attention on the part of Mrs W i lfe r s legs of .

’
Miss Bella s legs of Mr George Sampson s legs

’
,
.
’
.
“ ”
Yes miss
If you ll ste p this way—down these stairs —I ll let Ma
.
,
’ ’
”
know
Excited flight of Mrs W i lfe r s legs of Miss Bella s legs
.
’ ’
.
, ,
of Mr George Sampson s legs

.
’
. .
Afte r waiting some quarter of an hour alone in the family

sitting room which presented traces of having been so hastily
-
,
arranged after a meal that one might have doubted whether ,
it was made tidy for visitors or cleared for b l i n d m a n s bu ff ,

’
,
Mr and Mrs Bo fli n became aware of the entrance of Mrs

. . .
Wilfer maj estically faint and with a condescending Stitch in

, ,
her side : which was her company manner .
“
Pardon me said Mrs Wilfer after the first salutations
,
”
.
, ,
and as soo n as she had adj usted the handkerchief under her
“
chin and waved her gloved hands to what am I indebted
, ,
for this honou r

To make short of it ma am returned Mr Bo th u “
per ,
’
,
.
,
haps you may be acquainted with the names of me and Mrs .
Bo ffin as having come into a certain property

,
.
“
I have heard sir returned Mrs Wilfer with a dignified , ,
”
.
,
”
bend of her head O f such being the case ,
.
“
And I dare say ma am pursued Mr Bo ffin while Mrs ,
’
, .
, .
Bo fli n added confirmato r y nods and smiles you a r e not very ,
much inclined to take kindly to us

1 34 O UR MUTU AL FRIEND
F inding it rather difficult to pursue the conversation

‘
down this road Mr and Mrs Bo fli n sat starin g at mid air
,
. .
-
,
and Mrs Wilfer sat silently giving them to understan d that

.
every breath she drew requ i red to be d rawn wi th a self denial -
rarely paralleled in history until Miss Bella appeared : whom ,
Mrs Wilfer presented and to whom she explaine d the

.
,
purpose of the visitors .
I am much obliged to you I am sure said Miss Bella , ,

,
“
coldly shaking her curls but I doubt if I have the inclina ,
”
tion to go out at all .
“ “
Bella ! Mrs Wilfer admonished her
”
. Bella you must ,
conquer this .
“
Yes do what your Ma says and conqu er it my d ear
, , , ,
urged Mrs Bo ffin because we shall be so glad to have you

.
, ,
and because you are much too pretty to keep yourself shut
up . With that the pleasant creature gave her a kiss and
, ,
patte d her on her dimpled Shoulders ; Mrs Wilfer sittin g .
stiffly by like a functionary presidi n g over an i nterview

, ,
previous to an execution .
“
We are going to move into a nice house said Mrs . .
Bo th u who was woman enough to compromi se Mr Bo ffin on

, .
that point when he couldn t very well contest it ; and we

,
’
are going to set up a nice carriage and we ll go everywhere ,

’
and see everything An d you mustn t seating Bella beside .

’
.
”
’
her and patting her hand yo u mustn t feel a dislike to u s
, ,
to begin wi th b e c a u s e we couldn t help it you know my dear

,
’
, ,
.
”
With the natural tendency of youth to yield to candour

and sweet temper Miss Bella was so touched by the Simplicity
,
of this address that she frankly returned Mrs Boffin s kiss .

’
.
Not at all to the satisfaction of that good woman of the

world h e r mother who sought to hold the advantageous
, ,
ground of obliging the Bo ffin s inste ad of being obliged .
“ ”
My youngest daughte r Lavinia said Mrs Wilfer glad , ,
.
,
“
to make a diversion as that youn g lady reappeared Mr ,
.
George Sampson a friend of the family ,

.
The friend of the family was in that stage of the tender

passion which bound h i m to regard everybody else as the foe
of the family He put the round head of his cane in his
.
mouth like a stopper when he sat down As if he felt

, ,
.
himself full to the throat with a ffronting sentiments And .
‘
h e eyed the Bo fli n s with implacable eyes .
“
If you like to bring your sister with you when you come
“
to stay with us s aid Mrs Bo fli n ,
”
of course we shall be . .
THE I RRE P RESSI B LE L AV INI A 1 35
glad The better you please yourself, Miss Bella the better
.
,
”
you ll please u s
’
.
“
Oh my consent is of no consequence at all I suppose ?
, ,
cried Miss Lavinia .
“
La vv y said her Sister in a low voice
,
have the goodness , ,
to be seen and not heard .

”
“
No I won t replied the sharp Lavinia
,
’
,
”
I m not a .
’
child to be taken notice of by strangers

,
.
”
“ ”
You a r e a child .
‘
I m not a child an d I won t be taken notice of
’
,
Bring ’
.
your sister indeed ,

’
”“
Lavinia ! said Mrs Wilfer Hold ! I will not allow . .
you to utter in my presence the absu rd suspicion that a n y

strangers — I care n ot what their names— can patronize m y
ch i ld Do you dare to suppose you ridiculou s girl that Mr
.
, , .
and Mrs Bofli n would enter these d oors up on a patronizi n g

.
errand or if they did would remain within them only for

, , , ,
one single instant while you r mother had the strengt h yet
,
remaining i n her vital frame to request them to depart ?

You little know your mother if you presume to think so , .
”
“ ’ ”
It s all very fine Lavinia began to grumble whe n Mrs ; , ,
Wilfer repeated
“
Hold I will not allow this Do you not know what is .
due to guests ? Do you not comprehend that in presuming

to hint that this lady and gentleman could have a n y idea of
patronizing any member of you r family— I care not which
you accuse them of an impertinence little less than insane
“
Never mind me and Mrs Boffin ma am said Mr Boffin .
,
’
,
”
.
“ ’
smilingly ; we don t care .
”
“
Pardon me b u t I do returned Mrs Wilfer
, ,
”
. .
“
Miss Lavinia laughed a short laugh as she muttered Yes , ,
to be sure .
”
And I require my audacious child proceeded Mrs Wilfer ,

.
,
with a withering look at her youngest on whom it had not ,

“
the slightest effect to please to be j ust to her Siste r Bella
,
to remember that her sister Bella is much sought after and

that when her sister Bella accepts an attention she considers ,
hersel f to be conferring qui i ite as much honour — this with - -

,
an indignant shiver, as she receives .

”
“
But here Miss Bella repudiated and said quietly I can , ,
speak for myself you know Ma You need n t bring m e in

, , .
’
please .
”
An d it s all very well aiming at O thers through convenient

’
me said the irrepressible Lavinia spitefully

,
but I should ,
like to ask George Sampson what he says to it . .

”
“
Mr Sampson proclaimed Mrs Wilfer seeing that young
.
,
”
.
,
gentleman take his stopper out and so darkly fixing him with ,
“
her eyes as that he put it in again Mr Sampson as .
,
a friend of this family and a frequ enter of this house is , , ,
I am persuaded far too well bred to interpose on such an

,
-
”
invitation .
This exaltation of the young gentleman moved the con

s c i e n ti ou s Mrs Boffin to repentance for having done him an
.
inj ustice in her mind and consequently to saying that she ,
and Mr Bo fli n would at any time be glad to see him ; an

.
attention which he handsomely acknowledged by replying ,

“ ’
with h is stopper unremoved Much obliged to you but I m , ,
always engaged day and night , .
However Bella compensating for all drawbacks by respond

,
ing to the advances of the Bo fli n s in an engaging way that ,
easy pair were on the whole well satisfied an d proposed to ,
the said Bella that a s soon as they should be i n a condition

to receive her i n a manner suitable to their desires Mrs , .
Bo ffin Should return with notice of the fact This arrange .
ment Mrs Wilfer sanctioned with a stately inclination of her

.
“
head and wave of her gloves as who should say Your , ,
d e merits shall be overlooked and you shall be mercifully ,

”
gratified poor people , .
“
By the b y ma am said Mr Boffin turning back as he
’
- -
, ,
.
,
“
was going you have a lodger ,
“
A gentleman Mrs Wilfer answered qualify ing the low
,
.
,
“ ”
expression u ndoubtedly occupies our first floor
,
.
“
I may call him Our Mutual F riend said Mr Boffin ,
”
. .
What sort of a fellow i s Our Mutual F riend now ? Do ,
you like him ? ”
“
Mr Rok e s m i th is very punctual very quiet a very
.
, ,
”
eligible inmate .
“
Because Mr Bo ffi n explained you must know that I
,
”
.
,
a m not particularly well acquainted with Our Mutual F riend ,
for I have only seen him once You give a good account .
O f him . I S he at home ?
“
Mr Ro k e s m i th is at home said Mrs Wilfer
. indeed ,
.
,
“
pointing through the window there he S tands at the garden ,
gate Waiting for you perhaps

.
,
“
Perhaps so replied Mr Bo ffi n Saw me come in
,
”
. .
,
”
maybe .
1
Truly I supposed h e did

, .
Bella was nervous now and would have been glad to recall ,
her question .
“
You thought it strange that feeling much interested i n ,
you I Should start at what sounded like a proposal to bring

,
y o u into contact with the murdered man who lies in his

grave I might have known — o f course in a moment should
.
have kno wn —that it coul d not have that meaning But .
my interest re m ains .
Re entering the family room in a meditative state Miss

-
,
Bella was received by th e irrepressible Lavinia with :

“
There Bella ! At last I hope you have got your wishes
,
realize d — b y your Bo ffin s You ll be rich enough now— with .

’
your Bo fli n s You c a n have as much flirting as you like— a t

.
your Bo ffi n s But you won t take m e t o your Bo ffin s I can

’
.
’
tell you — you and your Bo fli n s too

”
If quoth Mr George Sampson moodily pulling his
,
.
,
stopper out Miss Bella s Mr Bo ffi n comes any more of his

,
’
.
nonsense to m e I only wish hi m to un derstand as betwixt

, ,
man and man that he does it at his pe r ,

and was going
to say peril ; but Miss Lavinia having no confidence in his
mental po wers a n d feeling his oration to h ave no definite
,
application to any circumstances jerked h i s s topper i n a g a i n , ,
with a sharpness that made his eyes water .
And now the worthy Mrs Wilfer having used her youngest .
,
daughter a s a lay figure for the e d i fic a ti o n of these Bo fli n s ,
became bland to her and proceeded to develop her last ,
instance of force of character which was still in reserve , .
This was to illuminate the fa m il y wi th her remarkable powers

as a physiognomist ; powers that te rrified R W whenever let . .
loose as being always fraught with gloom and evil which no

,
inferior prescience was a ware of And this Mrs Wilfer now . .
did be it observed in j ealousy of these Bo fli n s in the very

, , ,
same moments when she was already reflecting how she would
flourish these very same Boffin s and the state they kept over ,
the heads of her Bo ffin l e s s friends .
Of their manners said Mrs Wilfer I Sa y nothing Of ,

”
.
,
. .
their appearance I say nothing Of the disinterestedness of

,
.
their intentions towards Bella I say noth i ng But the craft ,

.
,
the secrecy the dark deep underhanded plotti ng written in

, ,
M rs Bo fli n s co untenance make me shudder

.
’
,
.
”
AS an incontrovertible proof that those baleful attributes

were all there Mrs Wil fer shuddered on the spot
, . .
C H A PT E R X
A MAR RI AG E CONT RAC T
T HER E is excitement in the Veneering mansion The mature .
young lady is going to be married (powder and all ) to the

mature young gentleman and she is to be m arried from the ,
Veneerin g h ouse and the Veneerings are to give the break

,
fast The Analytical who obj ects as a matter of principle

.
,
to everything that occurs on the premises necessarily obj ects ,
to the match ; but his consent has been dispensed with and ,
a spring van is d elivering its load O f greenhouse plants at th e

’
door in order that to morrow s feast may be crowned with
,
-
flowers .
The mature young lady is a lady of property The mature .
young gentleman is a gentleman o f property He invests his .
property He goes in a c ondescending amateurish way into

.
, ,
the City attends meetings of Directors and has to do with

, ,
traffic in Shares As is well known to the wise in their

,
generation traffic in Shares is the one thi ng to have to do

,
with in this world Have no antecedents no established

.
,
character no cultivation n o ideas no manners ; have Shares

, , ,
.
Have Shares enou gh to b e on B oards of Direction in capital

l etters oscillate on mysterious business between London an d
,
Paris and be great Where does he come from ? Shares

,
. .
Where is he going to ? Shares What are his tastes ? .
Shares Has he any prin ciples ? Shares What squ eezes

. .
hi m into Parl iament ? Shares Perhaps he never of himself .
achieved success in anything never originated anything never , ,
produced anything ! Su fficient answer to all ; Shares 0 .
mighty Sh a res To set those blaring images so high and to ,
cause us smaller vermin as under the influen ce of henbane or

,
“
opium to cry o ut night and day Relieve us of our money
, , ,
scatter it for u s buy u s and sell us m i n us only we

, , ,
beseech ye take rank among the powers of the earth and ,
fatten on us ! ”
While the Loves and Graces have been preparing this

1 40 OUR MU TU A L FRIEND
torch for Hymen which is to be kindled to morrow Mr

,
-
, .
T wemlow has su ffered much in his mind It would seem .
that both the mature young lad y an d the mature young

'
gentle m an must indubitably be Veneering s Oldest friends ’

.
Wards of his perhaps ? Yet that can scarcely be for they

, ,
are O l der than himself Veneering has been in their con .
fid e n c e throughout and has done much to lure them to the

,
altar He has mentioned to Twemlow how he said to Mrs

.
‘
.
Veneering “
An a s ta ti a this must be a match
, He has
, .
”
mentioned to Twemlow how he r egards Sophronia Ak e r s h e m

(the mature young lady) in the light of a sister and Alfred ,
La m m l e (the mature young gentleman ) in the light O f a

brother T wemlo w has asked h i m whether he went to
.
He h a s answered Not
'
“
school as a j unio r with Alfred ,
”
exactly Whether Sophronia was adopted by his mother ?
.
“
Twe m l o w s hand has ’
He has answered Not precisely so
, .
”
gone to his forehead with a lost air .
But two or three weeks a g o Twemlow Sitting Over his

, , ,
newspaper and over his dry toast and weak tea and over
, ,
’
the stable yard in Duke Street St —James s received a
-
,
.
,
highly perfumed cocked hat and mono gram from Mrs V e

- -
neering entreating her dearest Mr

.
'
,
if not particularly .
engaged that day to come like a charming soul and make a

,
fourth at d inner with dear Mr P odsnap for the discussion .

,
of an inte resting family topic ; the last three words d oubly

u nderlined and pointed with a note of admiration And .
T we m low replying Not engaged and more than delighted

,
“
, , ,
goes and this takes place

,
“
My dear Twemlow says Veneering your ready , ,
response to An a s ta ti a s uncerem onious invitation is truly

’
kind and like an old O ld friend You know our dear friend
, ,
.
”
Podsnap ?
T wemlow ought to know the dear friend Podsnap who
covered him with so much confusion and he says he does ,
know him and Podsnap reciprocates Apparently Podsnap

,
.
,
has been so wrought upon in a short time as to believe that ,
he has been intimate in the house many many many years , ,

.
In the friendliest manner he is making himself quite at home

with h i s back to the fire executing a statuette of th e ,
Colossus at Rhodes Twemlow h a s before noticed in his

.
feeble way how soon the Veneering guests become infected

with the Veneering fiction Not however that he h a s the .
, ,
leas t notion of its being his own case .

1 42 OU R MUTU A L FRIE ND
Mrs Veneerin g with her Open hands pressed together a n d

“
.
, ,
each of her eight aquiline fingers looking so V ery like her

one aquiline nose that the bran new j ewels on them seemed -
necessary for distinction s sake ’

.
“ “ ”
But my dear Podsnap quoth Veneering
, there i s a , ,
tried friend of our family who I think and hope you will ,
agree with me Podsnap is the friend on whom this agreeable

, ,
duty almost naturally devolves That friend saying the .

,
words as if the company were about a hundred and fifty in

“
number is n ow among u s That friend is Twemlow
, . .
”
Certainly ! from Podsnap .
That friend Veneering repeats with greater firmness

, ,
is ou r dear good Twemlow And I cannot su ffi ciently .
express to you my dear Podsnap the pleasure I feel in

, ,
having this opinion of mine and An a s ta ti a s so readily con ’ ”
firmed by you that other equally familiar and tried friend

who stands in the proud position —I mean wh o proudly
,
stands in the position — or I ought rather to say who places ,
An a s ta ti a and myself in the proud position O f himself stand

ing in the simple position — of baby s godfather And ’
.
,
indeed Veneering is much relieved in mind to find that

,
Podsnap betrays no j ealousy of Twe m l ow s elevation ’

.
So it has come to pass tha t the spring van is strewing

,
flowers on the rosy hours and on the sta ircase and that ,
Twemlow is surveyin g the grou nd on which he is to play his

distinguished part to morrow He has already been to the -
.
church and taken n ote O f the variou s impediments in the

,
aisle under the auspices of an extremely dreary widow who

,
opens the pews and whose left hand appears to be in a state

,
of acute rheumatism but is in fact voluntarily doubled up to

,
act as a money box -

.
And now Veneering Shoots out of the Study wherein

he is accustomed when contemplative to give his mind to
, ,
the carving and gilding O f the Pilgrims going to Canterbury ,
in order to show Twemlow the little flourish he has prepared

for the trumpets O f fashion describing h ow that on the ,
seventeenth instant at St James s Chu rch the Reverend ,

.
’
Blank Blank assisted by the Reverend Dash Dash u nited

, ,
in the bonds of matrimony Alfred La m m l e Esquire of , , ,
Sackville Street Piccadilly to Sophronia only daughter of

, , ,
the late Horatio Ak e r s h e m Esquire O f Yorkshire Also , ,

.
how the fair bride was married from the house of Hamilton
Veneering Esquire of Stri c c on i a and was given away by
, , ,
THE DAY B E F O R E THE NU P TI A LS 1 43
’
Melvin Tweml ow Esquire Of Duke Street St James s second
, , ,
.
,
cousin to Lord Sn i g s wor th O f Sn i gs wo rth y Park While ,

.
peru sing which composition Twe mlow makes some opaque ,
approach to perceivi ng that if the R everend Blank Blank

and the Reverend Dash Dash fail after this introduction , ,
’
to beco m e enrolled in the list of Veneering s dearest an d
O l dest friends they will have none but themselves to thank
,
for it.
After which appears Sophronia (whom Twemlow has seen

,
twice in his lifetime) to thank Twemlow for counterfeiting ,
the l ate Horatio Ak e r s h e m Esquire broadly of Yorkshire , ,

.
And after he r appears Alfred (whom Twemlow has seen

,
once in his lifetime ) to do the same and to make a pasty , ,
sort of glitter as if he were constructed for candlelight only

, ,
and had been let out in to daylight by some grand mistake .
And after that comes Mrs Veneering in a pervadingly

, .
,
aquiline state of figure and with transparent little knobs on ,
her temper like the li ttle transparent knob on the bridge O f

,
her nose Wo rn out by worry an d excitement as s h e tells

, ,
her dear Mr Twemlow and reluctantly revived with cura coa

.
,
by the Analytical And after that the bridesmaids begin to

.
,
come by railroad from various parts of the count r y , and to

come like adorable recru its enlisted by a sergeant not present
for on arrivin g at the Veneering dep ot they a r e in a barrack
, ,
of strangers .
So Twemlow goes home to Duke Street St J ames s to

, ,
.
’
take a plate of mutton broth with a c h Op in it and a look ,
at the marriage serv ice in order that he may cut in at the ,
ri ght place to morrow ; and he is low and feels it dull over

-
,
the livery stable yard and is distinctly aware O f a dint in his

-
,
heart made by the most adorable of the adorabl e brides

,
maids F or the poor little harmless gentlem an once had

.
,
his fancy like the rest of us an d she di d n t answer (as Sh e

, ,
’
often does not ) and h e think s the adorable b r idesmaid is like

,
the fancy as Sh e was then (which she is not at all ) and that ,
if the fancy had not married som e one else for m oney but ,
h ad married him for love he and she would have been happy ,
(which they wouldn t have been ) and that she has a tender
’
ness for him s till (whereas h e r toughness is a proverb ) .
Brooding over the fire with his dried little head in his dried ,
little hands and his dried little elbows on his dried little
,
knees Twemlow is melancholy

,
“
NO Adorable to bear me
”
.
company here ! thinks he No Adorable at the club ! A .

1 44 O UR MUTU A L FR IEND
waste a waste a waste my Twemlow ! And so dro ps

, , ,
”
asleep and has gal vanic starts all over him

, .
Betimes next morning that h orrible old Lady Tippins ,
(relict of the late Sir Thomas Tippins knighted in mistake ,
for somebody else by His Maj esty King George the Third ,
who while performing the ceremony was graciously pleased

, ,
“
to observe What wha t what ? Who who who ? Why
, , , , , ,
why ,
begins to be dyed and varnished for the
interesting occasion She has a reputation for giving smart .
accounts O f things and she must be at these people s early ,

’
my dear to lose nothing of the fun Wh ereabout in the

, .
bonnet and drapery announced by her name any fragment ,
of the real woman may be concealed is perhaps known to ,
her maid ; but you coul d easily buy all you see of her in ,
Bond Street : or you might scalp her and peel her and scrape , ,
her and make two Lady Ti ppi n s e s out of h e r and yet not
, ,
penetrate to the genuine article She has a large gold eye .
glass has L ady Tippins to survey proceedings wi th If she

, , .
had one in each eye it might keep that other drooping lid ,
up an d look more uniform But perennial youth is in her

,
.
a rtificial flowers and her list of lovers is full ,

.
“
Mortimer you wretch says Lady Tippins turning the
, ,
”
,
“
eye glass about and about
-
where is you r charge the , ,
bridegroom
Give you my honour, returns Mortimer I don t know ,
’
,
’
and I don t care ’
.
Miserable I S that the way you do your duty

Beyond an impression that he is to sit upon my knee
and be s e conded at some point of the solemnities like a ,
principal at a prize figh t I assure you I have no notion -

,
”
what my duty is returns Mortimer !
,
.
Eugene is also in attendance with a pervading air upon ,
him of having presupposed the ceremony to be a funeral ,
and O f being disappointed The scene is the Vestry room of .

-
St James s Chu rch with a number of leathery old registers

.
’
on S helves that might be bound in Lady Ti pp i n s e s

,
.
’
B ut hark ! A carriage at the gat e and Mortimer s man
, ,
arrives looking rather like a spurious Mephistopheles and an

,
unacknowledged member of that gentleman s fa mily Whom ’

.
Lady Tippins surveying through her eye glass considers ,

-
,
a fine man and quite a catch ; and of whom Mortimer

‘
,
“
remarks in the lowest Spirits as he approaches
,
I believe , ,
”
this is my fellow confound him ! More carriages at the ,
The Analyt ical in course of time achieving what he feel s

,
to be due to himself in bringing t o a dignified conclusion

several quarrels he has on hand with the pastrycook s ’
men announces breakfast Dining room no less magnificent

,
.
-
than drawing room ; tables superb ; all the camels out and
-
,
all laden Splendid cake covered with Cupids Silver and

.
, , ,
true lovers knots Splendid bracelet produced by Veneering

-
.
,
before going down an d clasped upon th e arm of bride Yet

, .
nobody seems to think much more of the Ven eerings than

if they were a tolerable landlord and landlady doing the
thing in the way of bu siness at so much a head The bride .
and bridegroom talk and laugh apart as has always been ,
their manner and the Bu ffers work their way through th e

d ishes with systematic perseverance as h a s always been ,
th ei r manner ; and the pokey unkno wn s are exceedingly

benevolent t o one another in invitations to take glasses O f
champagne but Mrs Podsnap arching her mane and rock .
,
ing her grandest has a far more deferential audience than

,
Mrs Veneering and Podsnap all bu t does the honours

. .
Another dismal circumstance is that Veneering having , ,

’
the captivating Tippin s on one sid e of him an d the bride s
aunt on the other finds it immensely difficult to keep the
,
peace F or Medusa besides unmistakingly glaring pe tri fa c

.
,
tion at the fascinating Tippins follows every lively remark ,
made by that dear creature with an audible snort : which

may be referable to a chronic cold in the head but may also ,
be referable to indignation and conte mpt And this snort .
being regular in its reproduction at length comes to be ,
expected by the company who make e m barrassing pauses ,
when it is falling due and by waiting for it render it more

, ,
emphatic when it comes The stony aunt has likewise an .
inj u rious way of rej ecting all dishes whereof Lady Tippin s
partakes : saying aloud when they are proffered to her N o , ,
no no not for me Take it away

, , . AS with a set purpose
of implying a misgiving that if nourished upon similar meats
Sh e might come to b e like that charmer which would be
-
a fatal consu mmation Aware of her enemy Lady Tippins

.
,
tries a youthful sally or two and tries the eye glass ; bu t ,

-
from the impenetrable cap and snortin g armou r of the stony

aunt all weapons rebou nd powerless .
Another O bj ectionable c i rcumstance is that the pokey ,
unknowns support each other in being unimpressible They .
pe rsi st in not being frightened by the gold and silver camels ,

THE NU P TI A L PAR TY 1 47
and they are banded together to defy the elaborately chased

ice pails They even seem to unite in some vague utterance
-
.
of the sentiment that the landlord and landlady will make a

pretty good profit out of this and they almost carry them ,
selves like customers Nor is there compensating i nfluence .
in the adorable b ridesmaids ; for having very little interest ,
in the bride and none at all in one another those lovely

, ,
beings become each one on her own account d epreciatingly

, ,
contemplative of the millinery present While the bri d e .
groom s man exhausted in the back of his chai r appears to

’
, , ,
be improving the occasion by penitentially contemplating all

the wrong he has ever done the difference between him and
his friend Eugene being that the latter in the back of h is ,
chair appears to be contemplating all the wrong he would

,
like to d o ~p a r ti c u l a r l y to the present company .
In which state of aff airs the u sual c e remonies rather droop ,
and flag and the splendid cake when ou t by the fair hand
,
O f the bride has but an in digestible appearance However .

,
all the things indispensable to be said are said and all the ,
things indispensable to be done are done (in cluding Lady

Ti ppi n s s yawning falling asleep and waking insensible) a n d
’
, , ,
there is hurried preparation for the nuptial j ourney to the

Isle O f Wight and the outer air teems with brass bands and
,
spectators In fu ll Sight of whom th e malignant star O f

.
,
the Analytical has p r e lo r d a i n e d that pain and ridicule shall

befall him F or he S tanding on the doo rs teps to grace th e
.
,
departure is suddenly caught a most prodigious t h ump on

,
the side of his head with a heavy Shoe which a Buffer in the ,
hall champagne flu s h e d and wild of aim has borrowed on

,
-
,
’
the spur of the moment from the pastrycook s porter to cast ,
after the departing pair as an auspiciou s ome n .
So they all go up again into the gorgeous drawing ro oms -
— all of them flushed with breakfast as having taken s c a r l a ,
tina s oc i a b l y a n d there the combined unknowns do malig

fi
nant things with their legs to O ttomans and take as muc h as ,
possibl e out of the splendid furniture And so Lady Tippins .

,
quite undetermined whether to day is the day before yester -
day 01 the day after to morrow o r the week after next fades
,
-
, ,
away and Morti mer Lightwood and Eugene fade away and ,
Twe ni l o w fades away and the stony aunt goes away she
,
-
d eclines to fade proving rock to the last — and even the

,
unknowns are slowly strained O ff and it is all over ,

.
All over that is to say for the time being But there is
, ,
.
1 48 O UR MU T UA L FRIEND
anothe r time to come and it comes in about a fortnight , ,
and it comes to Mr and Mrs La m m l e on the sands at . .
Shanklin i n the Isle of Wight

,
.
Mr and Mrs La m m l e have walked for some time on the

. .
Shankli n sands and o n e may see by their footprints that

, ,
they have not walked arm in arm and that they have not ,
walked i n a s traight track and that they have walked in ,
a moody humour ; for the lady has prodded little Spirting

holes in the damp sand before her with her parasol and the ,
gentle m an has trailed his stick after him As if he were .
of the Mephistopheles family indeed and had walked with ,
a drooping tail .
DO y o u mea n to tell me then Sophronia , ,
Thus he begins after a long silence when Sophronia flashes ,
fiercely and t u rns upo n him

, .
“
Don t put it upon me sir I a s k you do you mean to
’
, .
,
tell me
Mr La m m l e falls silent again and they walk as before ,
.
Mrs La m m l e O pens her nostrils and bites her under lip ;

.
“
Mr La m m le takes his gingerous whiskers in his left ha n d

.
,
and b ringing the m toget h er frowns fu rtivel y at his beloved ,
o u t of a thick gingerous b ush .
D O I mean to say ! Mrs La m m l e after a time repeats

”
.
,
“
with indignati o n P u t ting it o n me ! The unmanly dis
.
'
ingenuo u sness
Mr La m m l e stops releases his whiskers and looks at
.
, ,
“
her The what ?
Mrs La m m l e haughtily replies without stopping and
.
.
, ,
“ ”
without looking b ack The meanness . .
He is at her side again in a pace or two and he retorts , ,
That is not what y o u sai d You said disingenuousness . .

”
“
What if I did
‘ ’
There is no if in th e case You did ,
. .
I did then And what of it ?

, .
What of it ? says Mr La m m l e Have you the fac e

”
. .
to utter the word to me

“
The face too ! replied Mrs La m m l e staring at h i m
,
”
.
,
with cold scorn Pray how dare you sir utter the word
.
, , ,
to me
“
I never did .
AS this happens to be true Mrs La m m le is thrown on the ,

.
“
feminine resource of saying I do n t care what you uttered ,
’
or did not utte r .

”
M A RRIED ON F AL SE P RETE N C E S 151
After a little more walking and a little more silence ,
Mr La m m l e breaks the latter

. .
You shall proceed in your own way You claim a right .
to ask me do I mean to tell you Do I mean to te ll y o u .
what
“
That you are a man of property
No .
”
Then you married me on false pretences

SO be it Next comes what you mean to say DO you
. .
mean to say you are a woman of property

No .
Then you married me on fals e pretences .
‘
If you were SO dull a fortune hunter that you d eceived -
your self or if y o u were so greedy and grasping that you were

,
over wil ling to be deceived by appearances is it my fault

-
, ,
you adventurer the lady demands with great asperity ,

.
“
I asked Veneering and he tol d me you were rich
,
.
”
“
Veneering with great contempt And what does .
Veneering know about me

“
Was he not your trustee
NO I have n o trustee but the one you saw on the d ay
.
when you fraudulently married me And his trust is not a .
very di fficult one for it is only an annuity of a hundred and

,
fifteen pounds I think there are some O d d shillings or

.
pence i f you are very particular

, .
”
Mr La m m l e bestows a by no means loving look upon the

.
partner of his j oys and sorrows and he mutters something ,
but checks himself .
Question for question It is my turn again Mrs La m m l e

.
, . .
What made you suppose me a man of property

You made me suppose you so Perh aps you will deny .
that you always presented yourself to me in that character

“
But you asked somebody too Come Mrs La m m l e ,
.
,
.
,
admission for admission You asked somebody .
“
I asked Veneeri ng .
”
And Veneering k n ew as much O f me as he knew O f you .

,
or as anybody knows of him .

”
After more silent walking the bride stops short to say , ,
in a passionate manner
“
I never will forgive the Veneerings for this !
Neither will I returns the bridegroom
,
”
.
With that they wal k again she making those angry ,
Spirts in the sand he dragging that dejected tail Th e tide

,
.
is l o w and see ms to have thrown them together high on th e

,
bare shore A gull comes sweeping by their heads and

.
,
flou ts them There was a golden surface on the brown cliffs

.
but now and be hold they are only damp earth A tauntin g
,
.
roar comes from the sea and the far out rollers mount upo n ,
-
one another to look at the entrapped impostors an d to j oi n

, ,
in impish and exultant gambols .
“
Do you pretend to bel i eve Mrs La m m l e resumes , .
,
“
sternly when you talk of my marrying you for worldl y
,
advan tages that it was within the bounds of reasonabl e

,
probability that I wo ul d have married you for you rself ?

“
Again there are two Sid es to the quest i on Mrs La m m l e , . .
What do you pretend to believe

”
SO you first deceive me and then i nsult me ! cries th e
lady with a heaving bosom
,
.
“
Not at all I have originated nothing The double
. .
”
edged question was you rs .
Was mine ! the bride repe ats an d her parasol break s

”
in her angry hand .
His colour has turned to a livid white and ominous mark s ,
have come to light about his nose as if th e finger of th e ,
ve r y devil himself had within the last few moments touche d , ,
it here and there But he has repressive power and she h a s

.
,
none .
Throw it a way he coolly recommends as to the parasol ,

”
you have made it useless you look ridiculou s with it .
“
Whereupon she calls him in her rage a delibe rat e ,
vil lain an d so casts the broken thing from her as that i t

,
”
strikes him in falling The fin g e r marks are something .

-
whiter for the instant but he walks on at her side ,

.
She bursts into tears declaring herself the wretchedest ,
the most deceived the worst used of women Then Sh e say s ,

-
.
that if she had the courage to ki ll herself Sh e woul d do it ,

.
Then she calls him vile impostor Then Sh e asks him why .
in the disappointment of his base Spe culation he d oes n ow ,
take her life with his own hand under the present fav ou r a b l r ,
circu m stan ces Then she cries again Then she is e n r a g e é

. .
agai n and makes some mention of swindlers F inally Sh i

,
.
,
sits down c ry i ng on a block of Stone and is in all the k n owr ,
and unknown humours O f her sex at once Pending b e .
changes those aforesaid marks in his face have come a n c

,
gone n ow here now there like white stops of a pipe 0 1

, ,
which the diabolical pe rf ormer has played a tune Also hi .

1
54 O UR MU TU AL FRIEND
Shorter and plai ner F irstly it s enough to have been done .

,
’
wi thout the m o r tific a ti o n O f being known to have bee n done .
So we agree to keep the fact to ourselves You agree ? .
If it is possible I do , .
”
Possible ! W e have pretended well enough to o ne

another Can t we u nited pretend to the worl d ? Agreed
.
’
, , .
Secondly we owe the Veneerings a grudge and we owe all

, ,
other people the grudge of wishing them to be taken in as ,
we ourselves have been taken in Agreed .
“
Yes Agreed . .
We come smoothly to thirdly Y ou have ca l led me an .
adventurer Sophronia SO I am In plain uncomplimenta ry

, . .
English so I am So are you my dear

, So are many
.
, .
people We a gree to keep our own secret an d to work

.
,
together in furtherance of ou r own schemes .

”
What schemes
Any scheme that will bring us mo n ey By our own .
schemes I mean our j oint interest Agreed

, .
“
She answers after a little hesitation , I suppose so , .
”
Agreed .
“
Carried at once , you see ! Now Sophroni a, only half a -
’
dozen words more We know one another perfectly Don t . .
be tempted into t witting me with the past knowledge that

you have of me because it is identical wi th the past know
,
ledge that I have of you , and in twitting me you twit ,
yourself and I don t want to hear you do it With this

,
’
.
goo d understand i ng established between us it i s better never ,
done To wind up all — You have shown temper to day

.
-
,
Sophronia Don t be betrayed into doi ng so again because

.
’
,
”
I have a Devil of a temper myself .
So the happy pair with this hopefu l marriage contract ,
thus signed sealed and delivered repair h omeward If when

, , ,
.
,
those i n fernal fin g e r marks were on th e white and breathless -
countenance of Al fre d La m m l e Esquire they denoted that , ,
he conceived the purpose of subduing his dear wife Mrs .
Alfred La m m l e by at on c e divestin g her of any lingering

,
real ity or pretence of sel f respect the purpose would seem to -

,
have been presently executed The mature young lady has .
mighty little need of powder now for her down cast face as ,
he escorts her in the light of the settin g sun to their abode

of bliss .
CH A PT E R XI
P ODSNAPPERY
M R P O D S NAP wa s well to do and stood very high in Mr

.
,
.
Po dsnap s O pinion Begi n ni n g wi th a good inheritan ce he

’
.
,
had married a good inheritance and had thriven exceedingly ,
in the Marine Insurance way and was qu ite satisfied He ,

.
never coul d make o u t why everybody was not quite satisfied ,
and he felt conscious that he set a brilliant social example in

being particularly well satisfied with most things and above , ,
al l other things with h imself ,

.
Thu s happily acquainted with his own merit and impor

tance Mr Podsnap settled that whatever he put behind h i m
,
.
he put out of exi stence There was a dignified conclusiven ess

n o t to add a grand convenien ce—i n this way of getting
.
rid of disagreeables whi ch had done much towards establish ,
ing Mr Podsnap in his lofty place in Mr Podsnap s satis

. .
’
“
faction I don t want to know about it ; I don t choose
.
’ ’
’ ”
to discuss it ; I don t admit it ! Mr Podsnap had even .
acqu ired a pe culiar flourish of his right arm in O ften clearin g

the world of its most di fficult problems by sweepin g them ,
behin d him (and consequently sheer away ) with those words

and a flushed face F or th ey affronted him . .
Mr Podsnap s worl d was not a very large world moral ly

.
’
no nor even geographically : seeing that although h i s business

,
was sustained upon commerce with other countries b e con ,
s i d e r e d other countries with that i mportant reservation a mis , ,
take and Of thei r manners and customs would conclusively

,
observe Not English ! when P RE S T O ! with a flourish of

“
,
”
,
the arm and a flu s h Of the face they were swept away

,
‘
,
.
Elsewise the world got up at eight shaved close at a

, ,
quarte r past breakfasted at nine went to the City at ten

-
, , ,
came home at half past five and dined at seven Mr

-
,
. .
’
Podsnap s notion s of the Arts in their integrity might have
been stated thus Literature ; large print respectively
.
,
d escriptive of gettin g u p at ei ght shaving cl ose at a ,

1
5 6 O UR MUTU A L FRIE ND
quarter past b reakfasting at nine going to the City at ten

-
, , ,
coming home at half past five and dining at seven Painting

-
, .
and Sculpture ; models and portraits representing Professors

of getting up at eight Shaving close at a quarter past ,
-
,
breakfasting at nine going to the City at ten coming , ,
home at half past five and dining at seven Music a

-
,
.
respectable performance (wi thou t variations) on strin ged and

wind instruments sedately expressive of getting up at eight
, ,
shaving close at a quarter past breakfasting at nine going to -

, ,
the City at ten coming home at half past five and dining a t
,
-
,
seven Nothing else to be permitted to those same vagrants

.
the Arts on pain of excommunication Nothing else To Be

—
, .
anywhere
As a so eminently respectable man Mr Podsnap was , .
sensible of its being required O f him to take Providence

u nder his protection Consequently he always kne w exactly
.
what Providence meant Inferior and less respectable men .
might fall short O f that mark but Mr Podsnap was always ,

.
up t o it And it was very remarkable (and mu st have been

.
very comfortable) that what Providence m e a n t wa s invariably ,
what Mr Podsnap meant . .
These may be said t o have bee n the articles Of a faith and

school which the present chapter takes the liberty of callin g ,
afte r its representative man , Podsnappery They were con .
fined within cl ose bounds as Mr Podsnap s own head was ,

.
’
confined by his shirt collar ; an d they were enunciated with

-
a sounding pomp that smacked of the creaking of Mr Po d .
snap s own boots

’
.
There was a Miss Podsnap And this young rocking horse .

-
was being trained in her mother s art Of prancing i n a State ly ’
manner without ever getting on But the high parental .
action was not yet imparted to her and in trut h she was but ,
an under S ized damsel with high Shoulders low Spirits chilled

-
, , ,
elbows and a rasped surface of nose who seemed to take

, ,
occasional frosty peeps out of childhood into womanhood an d ,

’
to shrink back again overcome by her mother s head dress -
and her father from head to foot —

,
crushed by the mere dead

weight of Podsnappery .
'
A certain institution in Mr Podsnap s mind wh ich he .
“
called the young person may be considered to have been
embodied in Miss Podsnap his daughter It was a n i n c on ,
.
v e n i e n t and exacting institution as requiring everything in ,
the universe to be filed down and fitted to it The question .

said o f all these inconsolable personages as she checked them ,

“
off with a pencil in her li st Asked at any rate and got
, , ,
rid of and that they successfully disposed of a good many

friends of their souls in this way and felt their consciences ,
much lightened .
There were still other friends of their souls who were not
entitled to be asked to dinner but had a claim to be invited ,
to come and take a haunch of mutton vapour bath at half -
past nine F or the clearing Off of these worthies Mrs Pod

.
, .
s nap added a small and early evening to the dinner and ,
looked in at the music shop to bespeak a well conducted

- -
automato n to come and play quadrilles for a carpet dance .
Mr and Mrs Veneering and Mr and Mrs Veneering s

. .
,
. .
’
bran new bride and bridegroom were of the dinner company

-
,
but the Podsnap establishment had nothing else in common

with the Veneerings Mr Podsnap could tolerate taste in a
. .
mushroo m man who stood in need of that sort of thing but ,
was far above it himself Hideous solidity was the charac

.
te r i s ti c of the Podsnap plate Everyth i ng was made to look

.
as hea vy as it co u ld and to take up as much r oo m as possible

,
.
“
Everything said boastfully Here you have as much of me
,
in my ugliness as if I were only lead ; but I a m so many

ounces of precious metal worth so much an ounce — wouldn t ’
y o u like to melt me down A corpulent straggling eperg ne ,
blotched all o v er as if it had broken out in an eruption

rather than been ornamented delivered this address from an ,
unsightly silver platform in the centre of the table F our .
silver wine coolers each fu rnished with four staring heads

-
, ,
eac h head obtrusively carrying a big silver ring in each O f its

ears conveyed the sentiment up and down the table and
, ,
handed it on to the pot bellied silver salt cellars All the

- -
.
big silver spoons and forks widened the mouths of the com
pany expressly for the purpose O f thrusting the sentiment
down their throats with every morsel they ate .
The maj ority of the guests were like the plate and included ,
several heavy articles weighing ever so much But there was .
a foreign gentleman among them : whom Mr Podsnap had .
invited aft er much debate with himself— believing the whole

Eu ropean continent to be in mor tal alliance against the
young person — and there was a droll disposition not only ,
on the part of Mr Podsnap but of everybody else to treat

.
, ,
him as if h e were a child who was hard of hearing .
As a d e l i c a te concession to this unfortunately born foreigner -

THE FO REI G N G E NTLEM A N 1
59
Mr Podsnap , in receiving him had presented his wife as
.
,
“
“
Madame Podsnap also his daughter as Mademoiselle
“
Podsnap with some inclination to add ma fil l e in which
,
”
,
”
bold venture however he checked h imself The Veneeri ngs

, , .
being at that time the only other arrivals he had added (in ,
“
a condescendingly explanatory manner) Monsieur Vey nair ,
-
reeng and had then subsided into English

,
”
.
“
How Do You Like L ondon ? Mr Podsnap now i n ”
.
quired from his station of host as if he were administering ,
something i n the nature of a powder or potion to th e deaf

child ; London L ondres London ?
“
, ,
”
The foreign gentleman admired it .
You find it Very Large said Mr Podsnap Spaciously .

, .
The foreign gentleman found it very large .
And Very Rich

The foreign gentleman found it wi th o u t d ou b t e n or m é m e n t , ,
riche .
Enormously Rich We say returned Mr Podsnap in a , ,

.
,
“
condescend i ng manner Our English adverbs do Not ter .
‘
m i nate in Mong and We Pronounce the ch as if there ’
’
were a t before it We Say Ritch . .
”
Re e tc h remarked the foreign gentleman

”
.
.
,
An d D O You F ind Mr Podsnap with , .

,
“
dignity Many Evidences that Strike You of our British
, ,
Constitution in the Street s Of The Worl d s Metropolis ’
London Londres London , ,
The foreign gentleman begged to be pard oned but did ,
not altogether understand .
The Constitution Britannique Mr Podsnap explained ,

.
,
“
as if he were teaching in an infant school We Say Britis h .
,
But You Say Brita nnique You Know (forgivin gly as if , ,

“
that were not his fault) The Con stitution Sir .
,
.
”
The foreign gentleman said Mais yees ; I kn ow c e m , ,

.
A youngish sallowish gentleman in spectacles with a lumpy ,
forehead seated in a supplementary chair at a corner O f the

,
table here caus ed a profound sensation by saying in a raised

, ,
voice E SK E R and then Stopping dead

, ,
”
.
“
Mais oui said the foreign gentleman turning towards
,
”
him . Est c e que Quoi donc ? -
But the gentleman with the lumpy forehead having for

the time delivered himse l f of all that he found behind his
lumps spake for the time no more
, .
“
I Was Inquiring said Mr Podsnap resuming the thread , .
,
1 60 O UR MUTU A L F RI E ND
“
of his discourse Whether You Have Observed in ou r Streets
,
as We Should say Upon our P a v vy as You would say a ny , ,
T okens
The foreign gentleman with patient courtesy entreated
“
pardon But what was tok e n z
“
Marks said Mr Podsnap
,
Signs you know Appear .
, ,
a u ces— Traces .
”
Ah Of a Orse inquired the foreign gentleman .
We call it Horse said Mr Podsnap with forbearance ,

.
, .
In England An g l e te r r e England We Aspirate the H

,
‘
, , ,
’
‘ ’
and We Say Horse Only our Lower Classes Say Orse.
“
Pardon said the foreign gentleman
, I am a l wi z
”
wrong !
O u r Language said Mr Podsnap with a graciou s con
“
.
, ,
“
s c i o u s n e s s of being always right is Difficult Ours is a ,
.
Copious Language and Trying to Strangers ,

I wil l not .
Pursue my Q u estion .
”
But the lumpy gentleman un willing to give it up , again

.
,
madly sa id E SK E R and again spake no more

, ,
”
.
“ ”
It merely referred Mr Podsnap explained with a sense ,
.
,
“
O f meritorious proprietorship to Our Constitution Sir We , , .
Englishmen are Very Proud of our Constitution Sir It Was , .
Bestowed Upon Us By Providence N 0 Other Country is so .
F avoured as This Country .

”
And ozer countries the foreign gentleman was

be ginning when Mr Podsnap put him right again
,
. .
We do not say Ozer we say Other the letters are T

and H you say Tay and Aish You Know ; (still with ,
“ ‘
clemency) . The sound is th th
“
And o ther countries said the foreign gentleman They ,
.
do how
They do Sir returned Mr Podsnap gravely S haking
, ,
.
,
his head they do — I a m sorry to be obliged to say i t— a s

”
they do ,
“
It was a little particular of Providence sai d th e for e i g n
'
,
“ ”
gentleman laugh in g ,
for the frontier is not large .
“
Undoubtedly assented Mr Podsnap Bu t So it is It
”
. .
,
was the Charter of the Land This i sland was Blest Sir to
the Direct Exclusion of such Other Countries as—as there
.
, ,
may happen to be And if we were all Englishmen present .

,
I would say ad ded Mr Podsnap looking round upon his

,
”
.
,
“
compatriots and sounding solemnly with h i s theme that
, ,
there is in the Engl ishman a combination of qualities a ,

1 62 O UR M U TU A L FRI END
drifting General Officer his wife and daughter and n ot only

, ,
restored their anim ation which had become suspended but ,
made them lively friends within an hour .
Al though Mr Podsnap would in a general way have

.
highly disapproved Of Bodies in rivers as i neligible topics

-
with reference to the c heek of the young person he had as , ,
one may say a Share in this affa i r whi c h m a d e him a part

’
, .
proprietor As its returns were immediate too i n the way

.
, ,
of restraining the company from spee chless contemplation O f

the wine coolers it paid and he was satisfied
-
, ,
.
And now the haunch O f mutton vapour bath having -
received a gamey infusion and a few last touches of sweets ,
and co ffee was quite ready and the bathers came ; but not
, ,
before the discreet automaton had got behind the bars of the
piano music desk and there presented the appearance of a
-
,
captive languishing in a rosewood j a i l And who now so .
pleasant or so well a ssorted as Mr and Mrs Alfred La m m l e . .

,
he all sparkle she all graciou s contentment both at occasional

, ,
intervals exchanging looks like partners at cards who played ,
a game against All England

There was not much youth among the bathers but there ,
wa s no youth (the y oung perso n always excepted ) in the

articles of Podsnappery Bald bathers folded their arms and
.
talked t o Mr Podsnap on the hearthrug ; sleek whiskered

.
-
bathers with hats in their hands lunged at Mrs Podsnap

, ,
.
and retreated ; prowling bathers went about look i ng into

ornamental boxes and bowls as if they had Suspicions of
larceny o n the part of the Podsnaps and exp ected t o find ,
somethi ng they had lost at the bottom ; bathers of the

gentler sex sat sil ently comparing ivory shoulders All this .
time an d always poor little Miss Podsnap whose tiny efforts

, ,
n the magnifi cence

(if sh e had made any ) were sw allowed up i
of her mother s rockin g kept herself as mu ch out O f sight
’ “
an d mind as Sh e cou ld and appeared to be counting on many

,
dismal returns of the day It was somehow u nderstood as .

,
a secret article in the state p roprieties of Podsnappery that ,
nothing mu st be said about the day Conse quently this .
young damsel s nativity was hu shed up and looked over as if

’
,
it were agreed on all hands that it would have be e n better

that she had never been born .
The La m m l e s were so fond O f th e dear Veneerin gs that

they could not for some timé detach themselves fr om those
excellent friends but at length either a very open smile on ,
A L ITTL E Q UI ET TA L K 1 63
Mr La m m l e s part or a very secret elevation of one of his

’
gin gerous eyebrows —certainly the one or the other — seemed

. ,
“
to say to Mrs La m m l e Why don t you play ?
. And so ,
’ ”
,
look i ng about her she saw Miss Podsnap and seemi ng to say , ,
responsively That card and to be answered Yes went

, ,
”
an d sat beside Miss Podsnap .
Mrs La m m l e was overj oyed to escape into a corner for a

.
little quiet talk .
It promised to be a very quiet talk for Miss Podsnap ,
replied i n a flutter Oh Indeed it s very kind of you , b u t

, ,
’
’ ”
I am afraid I d on t talk .
“
Let us make a beginning said the in sinuating Mrs , .
La m m l e with her best smile

, .
Oh I am afraid you ll find me very dull But Ma talks ’

.
That was pla i nly to be seen for Ma was talki ng then ,
at her u sual canter with arched head and mane O pened eyes , ,
and nostrils .
F ond of reading perhaps ,
Yes At least I — don t mind that so mu ch returned

.
’
Miss Podsnap
M— m —
.
—m m m usic SO insinu ating was Mrs . .
La m m l e that she got half a dozen m s into the word before

’
-
she got it out .
“ ’
I haven t nerv e to play even if I could Ma plays . .
(At exactly the sa me canter and with a certain flourishing ,
appe a rance of doing something Ma did in fact occasionally , , ,
take a rock upon the instrument ) .
Of cou rse you like d a ncing

Oh no I don t said Miss Podsnap
,
’ ”
.
NO ? With your youth and attractions Truly my

,
dear you surprise me !

,
‘ ’
I can t say observed Miss Podsnap after hesitating
,
”
,
considerably and steali n g several timid looks at Mrs

, .
La m m l e s carefully arranged face how I might have liked

’
it if I had been a — you won t mention it wi ll you ’

,
“
My dear ! Never ! ”
No I am sure you won t I can t say then how I

,
’
.
’
should have l i ked it if I had bee n a chimney sweep on ,

-
May day -
.
”
“ ”
Gracious ! was the exclamation which amazement
elicited from Mrs La m m l e . .
“ ’
There ! I knew you d wonder But you won t m ention .
’
it will you
,
1 64 O UR M UTU AL FRIEND
“
Upon my word my love said Mrs La m m le you , , .
,
make me ten tim e s more desiro u s now I talk to you to , ,
k n o w y o u well than I was when I sat over yonder looking ,
at you How I wish we co ul d be real friends ! Try me as

.
a real friend Come Don t fancy me a frumpy O l d married

.
’
woman my dear ; I was married but the other day you

, ,
know ; I am dressed as a bride n ow vou see About the .
chimney swee ps -
“
H u sh ! Ma ll hear
’
Sh e can t hear from where she sits .
’
Don t y o u be too sure of that said Mi ss Podsnap in ,
”
,
“
a lower voice Well what I me an is that they seem t o
.
, ,
”
enj oy it .
“
An d that perhaps you would have enj oyed it if you had ,
been one of them ?

Miss Podsnap nodded Significantly
“
Then you don t enj oy it now ’
How is it possible said Miss Po dsnap Oh it i s such .

,
a dreadful th i ng ! If I was wicked enough — and strong

enough — to kill anybody it should be my partner , .
”
This was s u ch an entirely new view O f the Terpsichorean

art as socially practised that Mrs La m m l e looked at her young ,
.
friend in some astonish m ent Her young friend sat nervously .
twiddling her fingers in a pinioned attitu de as if she were ,
trying to hide her elbows B ut this latter Utopian obj ect .
(i n short sleeves ) always appeared to be the great in offensive

a i m O f her exi stence .
“
It sou nds horrid don t it ? said Miss Podsnap with a ,
’
penitential face .
Mrs La m m l e not very well knowi ng what to answer

.
, ,
resolved herself i n to a look of sm i ling encouragement .
“
But it is and it always has been pursued M i ss Podsnap
, ,
”
,
such a trial to me ! I so dread being awful And it is so .
’
awfu l No one knows what I suffered at Madame Sauteuse s ,
where I learnt to dance and make presentation cu rtseys and -

,
other dreadful things — o r at least where they tried to teach

me . Ma can do it .
”
“
At any rate my love said Mrs La m m l e soothingly , ,
.
,
that s over
’
.
”
"Yes it s over returned Miss Podsnap

’ “
but there s ’
, , ,
nothing gain ed by that It s worse here than at Madame .

’
’
Sa u teuse s Ma was there and Ma s here ; but Pa wasn t
’
.
,
’
there and company wasn t there and there were not real
,
’
,
THE O G RE G RO MP U S 1 67
part ners there Oh there s Ma Speaking to the man a t the ’
piano Oh there s Ma going up to somebody ! Oh I know

.
,
’
she s going to bring him to me ! Oh ple as e don t please

’
, ,
don t please don t

’
,
Oh keep away keep away keep away !
’
, , ,
These pious ejaculations Miss Po dsnap uttered with her eyes

closed an d her he ad leaning back against the wall
,
.
But the Ogre advanced u nder the pilotage of Ma and Ma ,

“
said Georgiana Mr G r o m p u s and the Ogre clutched his
, ,
.
,
victim and bore her o ff to his castle in the top couple Then .
the discreet automaton who had Su rveyed his ground played ,

“ ”
a blossoml ess tuneless set and Si xteen disciples of Pod
s n a pp e r y went through the figures o f—I
,
Getting up at eight ,
and shaving close at a quarter past— z Breakfasting at nine -

,
—3 Going to the City at ten — 4 Coming home at half past
, ,
-
fiv e —5 Dining at seven an d the grand chain

, ,
.
While these solemnities were in progress Mr Al fred , .
La m m l e (most loving o f husb ands) approached the chair of

Mrs Alfred La m m l e (most loving of wives) and bendin g over
.
,
the back of it tri fle d for some few seconds with Mrs

, .
La m m l e s bracelet Slightly in contrast with this brief airy

’
.
toying one might have notice d a certain d ark attent i on in

,
’
Mrs La m m l e s face as s h e said some words with her eyes on
.
Mr La m ml e s waistcoat and seemed in return to receive some

.
’
lesson But it was all done as a breath passes from a m irror

. .
And now the grand chain riveted to the last link the
, ,
discreet automaton ceased and the sixteen two and two took , , ,
a walk among the furniture And herein the unconsciousness .
of the Ogre G r o m p u s was pleasantly conspicu ou s ; for that

complacent monster believing that he was giving Miss ,
Podsnap a treat prolonged to the utmost stretch Of possibili ty

,
a peripatetic account of an archery meeting ; while his

victim heading the procession of s i xteen as it Slowly circled
,
about like a revolving funeral never raised her eyes except

, ,
once to steal a glance at Mrs La m m l e expressive of intense .

,
despair .
At length the procession was dissolved by the violent

arrival of a nut meg before which the draw i ng room door ,
-
.
bounced O pen as if it were a cannon ball ; and while that -
fragrant article dispersed through several glasses Of colou red

,
warm water was going the round of society Miss Podsnap

, ,
returned to her seat by her new friend .
“
Oh my goodness said Miss Podsnap
, Tha t s over ! , .
’
I hope you didn t look at me ’

.
1 68 OUR M U TU A L FR I E ND
My dear why not ,
Oh I know all about myself said Miss Podsnap

, , .
I ll tell you something I know about you my dear

’
, ,
”
“
returned Mrs La m m l e in her winning way and that is
.
, ,
you are most un necessarily shy .

”
“
Ma ain t said Miss Podsnap ’
,
— I detest you ! Go
”
.
”
along ! This shot was levelled under her breath at the
gallant G r om pu s for bestowing an insinuating smile upon her
1 11 pa s s m g .
Pardon me if I scarcely see my dear Miss Podsnap , ,
Mrs La m m l e was beginn i ng when the young lady inter

.
,
posed .
“
If we are going to be real friends (and I suppose we are ,
for you are the only person who ever propose d it) don t let ’
’
us be awfu l It s awful en ough to be Miss Podsnap without
.
,
being called SO Call me Georgiana . .

”
Dearest Georgiana Mrs La m m le began again . .
”
Thank you said Miss Podsnap
‘
, .
Dearest Georgiana pardon me if I scarcely see my l ove , , ,

’
why your mamma s not being shy is a reason why you
S hould be .
“
Don t you really see that ? asked Miss Podsnap pluck
’
ing at her fingers in a troubled manner and furtively castin g ,

“
her eyes now on Mrs La m m l e now on the grou nd Then .
,
.
’
perhaps it isn t
“
My d earest Georgiana you defer much too readily to my ,
poor Opinion Indeed it is not even an O pinion darling for

.
, ,
it is only a confession of my dulness .

”
“ ”
Oh y ou are not dull returned Miss Podsnap
,
I am ,
.
’
dull but you couldn t have made me talk if you were
,
.
Some little touch of conscien ce answering this perception

of her having ga i ned a purpose called bloom enough into ,
Mrs La m m l e s face to make it look brighter as she sat

.
’
smiling her best smile on her dear Georgiana an d Shakin g ,
her head with an affectionate playfulness Not that it meant .
anyt hing but that Georgiana seemed to like it

,
.
“ “
What I mean is pursued Georgian a that Ma being ,
”
S O endowed with awfulness and Pa being so endowed with ,
awfulness and there being so m uch awfulness ever ywhere

,
I mean at least everywhere where I a m — perhaps it makes

, ,
me who am so deficient in awfulness and frightened at i t ,
I say it very badly — I don t know whether you can under

’
stand what I mean

1 7 0 O UR M UTU A L FRIEND
—as if they would rather not have been starved upon the
whole if perfectly agreeable to all parties
, .
“
There is not said Mr Podsnap flushing angrily there
, .
, ,
is not a country in the world sir where so noble a provision , ,

”
is made for the poo r as in this c ou ntry .
The meek man was quite willing to concede that but ,
perhaps it rendered the matter even worse as showing that ,
there must be so m ething appallingly wrong somewhere .
“ ”
Where ? said Mr Po dsnap . .
The meek man hinte d Wouldn t it be well to try very ,

’
seriously to find out where

,
“
Ah said M r Podsnap Easy to say somewhere not
. .
so easy to say where ! B ut I see what you are driving at .
I knew it from the first Centralization No Never with . . .
my consent Not Engl i sh . .
An approving mu rmur arose from the heads of trib es ; as

“
saying There you have him ! Hold him !
,
”
He was not aware (the meek man submitted of himself)

that he was driving at any i z a ti o n He had no favourite .
i z a ti o n th at he knew of But he certainly was more Stag .
g e r e d by these terrible occurrences than he was by names of ,
howsoever so many syllables Might he ask was dying of .

,
destitution and neglect necessarily E nglish

“
You kno w wha t the population of London is I suppose , ,
said Mr Podsnap . .
The meek man supposed he did but supposed that had ,
absolutely nothing to do with it if its laws were well ,
administered .
“
And you know ; at least I hope you know said Mr ,
.
Podsnap with severity

,
that Providence has declared that
,
you shall have the poor always with you

The meek man also h oped he knew that .
I am glad to hear it said Mr Podsnap with a por ,

”
.
,
te n to u s air I am glad to hear it It will render you

. .
cautious how you fly in the face of Providence .

”
I n reference to that absurd and irreverent conventional

phrase the meek man sai d for which Mr Podsn ap wa s not
, ,
.
responsible he the meek man had no fear of d oing anything

,
so impossible but
But Mr Podsnap felt that the time had come for flushing
. .
and flo Ur i s h i n g this meek man down for good So he said .
I mu st decline to pursue this painful discussion It is .
not pleasant to m y feeli n gs It is repu gn ant to my feelings . .

THE LAMMLE S AND MI SS P ODSN A P 1
71
I have said th at I d o not admit these thin gs I h ave also .
said that if they do occur (not th a t I admit it ) the fault

lies with the su fferers t h emselves It is n ot for m e —Mr
,
”
. .
“
P odsnap pointed me forcibly as addi n g by imp l icatio n , ,
though it m a y be all very well for you it is not for m e to

impugn the workings of Providence I know better than .
that I trust and I have mentioned what the intentio n s of

, ,
Providence are Besides said Mr Pod snap flu shing high.

,
”
.
,
up among his hair brushes with a strong consciousness of -

,
“
personal affront the subj ect is a very disagreeable on e I
, .
will go so far as to say it is an odious one It is not one .
to be introduced among our wives and young pe rsons and ,
I He finished with that flourish O f his arm which

added more expressively than any words And I remove it ,
from the face of the earth '

.
Simultaneously with this qu e n c h i hg of the meek m an s ’
ineffectual fire Georgiana having left the ambler up a lane

,
of sofa in a N O Thorough fare O f back drawing room to find

,
-
,
his own way out came back to Mrs La m m l e An d who ,

. .
should be with Mrs La m m l e but Mr La m m l e SO fond of her ! . . .
“
Alfred my love here is my friend Georgiana de arest
, ,
.
,
girl you must like my hu sban d next to m e

, .
”
Mr La m m l e was prou d to be so soon distinguished by

.
this special commendation to Miss Podsnap s favour But if ’

.
Mr Lam m l e were prone to be jealou s of his dear Sophronia s

.
’
friendships he would be j ealous of h e r feeling towards Miss

,
Podsnap .
“
Say Georgiana darling interposed his wife , , .
Towards — shall I ?— Ge orgiana Mr La m m l e uttered .

”
.
the name with a delicate curve of his right h a nd from his

, ,
“
lips outward F or never h ave I known Sophronia (who is
.
not apt to take sudden likings) SO attra cted and so captivated

as she is b y shall I once more — Georgiana .
”
The obj ect of this h omage sat u neasily enou gh in receipt

of it and then said turnin g to Mrs La m m l e mu ch em
, ,
.
,
b a r r as sed :
’
I wonder what you like me for I am sure I can t think .
Dearest Georgiana for yourself F or your di fference , .
from all around you .

”
“
Well That may be F or I think I like you for your .
difference from all around me said Georgiana with a smile ,

”
O f relief .
“
We mu st be going with the rest O bserved Mrs La m m l e ,
.
,
1 72 O UR MUTU A L FRI END
rising with a Show O f u nwillingness amidst a general dis ,

“
persal .We are real frie nds Georgiana dear , .
”
“
Real .
Good night dear g irl ,
She had established an att raction over the shrinking

nature upon which her smiling eyes were fixed for G eorgian a ,
held her hand while she answered in a secret and half

frightened tone
’
Don t forget me when you are gone away And come .
again soon G ood night ! .

”
Charming to see Mr and Mrs La m m l e taking leave so . .
gracefully and going down the stairs so lovingly and sweetly

, .
Not quite so charming to see their smiling faces fall and

brood as they dropped moodily into separate corners of their
l ittle carriage But to be sure that was a sight behind the
.
, ,
scenes which nobody s a w and which nobody was meant

, ,
to see .
Certain big heavy vehicles buil t on the model of the

, ,
Podsnap plate took away the heavy articles of gu ests weigh

,
ing ever so much ; and the less valuable articles got away .
after the i r vario u s manners and the Podsnap plate was put
to bed As Mr Podsnap stoo d with his back to the draw
. .
ing room fire pulling up his shirt c ollar like a veritable

-
,
-
,
cock of the walk literally pluming himself in the midst of

his possessions nothing would have astonished him more
,
than an intimation that Miss Podsnap or any other young ,
person properly born and bred could n ot be exactly put ,
away like the plate brought out l i ke the plate pol ished l ike
, ,
the plate cou nted weighed and valued like the plate That
, , ,
.
such a young person could possibly have a morbid vacancy

in the heart for anything younger than the plate or less ,
monotonous than the plate ; or that such a young person s ’
thoughts could try to scale the region bounded on the north ,
south east and west by the plate ; was a monstrous

, , ,
imagination which he would on the spot have flourished into

’
space This perh aps in some sort arose from Mr Podsnap s
. .
blushing young person being SO to Speak all cheek : whereas , ,
there is a possibility that there may be young persons of

a rather more complex organization .
If Mr Po dsnap pulling up his shirt collar could only

.
,
-
,
“
have heard himself called that fellow in a certain short ”
dialogue which passed between Mr an d Mrs La m m l e in . .
their O pposite corners of their little carriage rolling home ,

C H A PT ER XII
THE SW EAT O F AN HO NEST MAN B ROW

’
S
M R MOR T I MER LI G H T W OO D and Mr E u g e n e W r a y b u r n took

'
. .
a co ffee house dinner together i n M r Lightwoo d s office

-
.
’
.
They had newly agreed to set up a joint establishment to f
gether They had taken a b achelor cottage n e a r Hampton

.
,
on the brink of the Thames with a lawn and a boat house , ,

-
,
and all things fitting and were to float with the stream
,
through the summer and the Long Vacation .
It was not su m mer yet but spring and it was not gentle ,
S pring ethereally mild as in Thomson s Seasons but nippin g

’
,
spring with an easterly wind as in Johnson s Jackson s , ,

’
Dickson s S m ith s and J o n e s s Seas ons The grating wind

’
,
’
,
’
.
sa wed rather than blew ; and as it sawed the sawdust ,
whirled about the sawpit Every s treet was a sawp it an d .

,
there were no top sawyers ; every passenger was an u nder

-
sawy er with the sawdust bl i nd i ng him and choking him

,
.
That mysterious paper currency which circulates in Lon don

when the win d blows gyrated here and there and every ,
where Whence can it come whither can it go

. It hangs ,
on every bush flutters in every tree is caught flying by the

, ,
electric wires haunts every enclosure drin ks at ever y pump

, , ,
co wers at every grating shudders upon every plot of grass , ,
seeks rest in vain beh i n d the legions of iron rails In Paris .

,
where nothing is wasted costly and luxurious city though it ,
be but where wonderful human ants creep out of holes an d

,
pick up eve ry scrap there is no such thi ng There it blows

, .
,
nothing but dust There sharp eyes and sharp stomachs

.
,
reap even the east wind and get something out of it ,

.
The wind sawed and the sawdust whirled The shrubs

, .
wrung their many hands bemoaning that they had been ,
over persuaded by the sun to bud the young leaves pined

-
the sparrows repented of their early marriages like men and ,
women th e colours of the rainbow were discernible not in ,

THE TW O O LD SC HOO LFE LLO VV S 1 75
floral spring but in the face s O f the people Whom I t nibbled
,
and pinched And ever the W ind sawed and the sawdust
.
,
whirled .
When the Spring evenin gs are too long and light to shut
out and su ch weather is r ife the city which Mr Podsnap so
, ,
.
explanatorily called Lon don Lon dres London is at its worst , , ,

.
Such a black shril l city combining the qualities O f a smoky ,
house and a scolding w ife such a gritty city such a hope

less c ity with no rent in the leaden canopy of its sky such
,
a beleague red city invested by the great Marsh F orces of ,
Essex and Kent SO the two O l d schoolfellows felt it to be

.
,
as their dinner done they turn ed towards the fire to smoke

, ,
.
Young Bli ght was gone the coffee house waiter was gone the ,
-
,
plates and dis hes were gone the win e was goin g— but not in ,
th e same d ir ection .
“
The wind sounds up here quoth E u ge n e stirring the , ,
fir e , as if we were keeping a lighthouse I wish we were

_ . .
”
Don t you thi nk it w oul d bore us ? Lightwood asked

’
.
Not more than any other place And there would be .
n o Circui t t o go But that s a selfish consideration personal

.
’
to me
”
.
And no clients to come added Lightwood Not that ,

.
’
th at s a selfish consideration at all personal to m e .
If we were on an isolated rock in a stormy sea said ,

“
Eugene smokin g with his eyes on the fire Lady Tippi n s
, , ,
couldn t put o ff to visit us or better Still might put O ff and

’
, , ,
get swamped People couldn t ask one to wedding break

.
’
fasts There would be no Precedents to hammer at except

.
,
the plain sailing Precedent of keep i ng the li ght up It would

-
.
be exciting to look out for wrecks .

”
“ “ ”
But otherwise suggested Lightwo od there might be , ,
a degree of sameness in the life .
I have th ought of that also said Eugene as if he really , ,
had been considering th e subject i n its various beari ngs with

“
an eye to the business ; but it woul d be a defined an d
limited monotony It would not extend beyond two people. .
Now it s a questi on with me Mortim er whether a monotony

’
, ,
defined with that precision and l i mited to that extent might

not be m ore endurable than the unli mited monotony of on e s ’
fellow creatures -
.
As Lightwood laughed and passed the wine he rem arked , ,
We shall have an opportunity in our boatin g sum m er of , ,
t rying th e question .
“
An imperfect one Eugene acquiesced with a sigh but , , ,
so we shall I hope we may not prove too mu ch for one

.
another .
”
Now regarding you r respected father said Lightwood , ,
bringing him to a subje ct they had expressly appointed to

discuss : always the most Slippery eel of eels of subjects to
lay hold of .
Yes regarding my respected father assented Eugene

, , ,
“
settling himself in his arm chair I would rather have -
.
approached my respected father by can dlelight as a theme ,
requiring a little artificial brilliancy but we will take him

by twilight enlivened with a glow of Wallsend
,
.
”
He stirred the fire again as he spoke and having made it ,
blaze resumed
, .
“
My respected father has found down in the parental ,
neighbourhood a wife for his not generally respected son

,
- -
.
”
“
With some money O f course ,
With some money of cou rse or he would not have found

, ,
her . My respecte d father — let me shorten the dutiful

tautology by substituting in future M R E which sounds . .
,
”
military and rather like the Duke O f Wellington
,
.
“
Wha t an absurd fellow you are Eugene
No t at all I assure you M R F having always in th e
,
. . .
, .
—
clearest manner provided (as he calls it) for his children by
pre arranging from the hour of the birth O f each and some ,
times from an earlier period what the devoted little victi m s ,

’
calling and course in life should be M R F pre arranged , . . .

-
for myself that I was to be the barrister I am (with the S light

addition of an enormous practice which h as n o t accrued) , ,
”
and also the married man I am not .
The first you have O ften told me .
The first I have often told you Considering myself .
su fficiently incongruous on my legal eminence I have until ,
now suppressed my domestic d estin y You know M R E . . .

,
but not as well as I do If you knew him as well as I do ,
he w ould amuse you .
F ilially spoken Eugene ,
Perfectly SO believe me ; and with every sentiment of

,
a ffectionate deference towards M R F But if he amuses . . .
me I can t help it When my eldest brother was born of

,
’
.
,
course the rest of u s knew (I mean the rest O f us would

have known if we had been in existence) that he was heir
,
to the F amily Embarrassments— we call it before company

1 7 8 O UR MU TU A L FRIE ND
among which they sat As if said Eugene as if the

.
, ,
churchyard ghosts were rising .

”
He had walked to the window with his cigar in his mouth ,
to exalt its flavour by comparing the fireside with the outside ,
when he Stopped midway on his return t o h is arm chair and -

,
said
“
Apparently one of the ghosts has lost its way and ,
dropped in to be directed Look at this phantom .
Lightwood whose back was towards the door turned his

, ,
head and there i n the darkness O f the entry stood a some

, , ,
thing in the likeness Of a man : to whom he addressed the

“
not irrelevant inquiry Who the devil are y o u ,
”
I ask your pardons Governors replied the ghost in a , , ,
“
hoarse double barrelled whisper -
but might either on you ,
be Lawyer Light wood

“
What do you mean by not knocking at the door ?
demanded Mortimer .
“
I ask your pardons Governors replied the ghost as , , ,
“
before but probable you was not aware your door stood
,
”
0 en .
“
What do you want ?
Hereunto the ghost again hoarsely replied I n I ts double ,
barrell ed manner I ask your pardons Governors but might

, , ,
one on you be Lawyer Lightwood

“
One of us is said the Owner of that name
,
”
.
”
All right Governors B oth returned the ghost, carefully
, ,
closing the roo m door tickler business ’

.
Mortimer lighted the candles They sh owed the visitor to .
be an ill looking visitor with a squinting leer who as he Spoke

-
, , ,
fu mbled at an old sodden fur cap formless and mangey that , ,
looked like a furry animal dog or cat puppy or kitten , , ,
drowned and decaying

No w said Mortimer what is it ?
.
, ,
Governors Both returned the man in what he meant

,
”
,
“
to be a wheedling tone which on you might be Lawyer ,
Lightwood
“
I am .
Lawy er Lightwoo d ducking at him with a servile air , ,
I am a man as gets my living and as seeks to get my ,
living by the s weat O f my brow Not to risk being done

, .
out of the sweat of my brow by any chances I should wish , ,
a fore going further to be swore in .

”
I a m not a swearer in O f people man ,

.
AN I LL- L OO K IN G V ISITO R 1 79
The visitor c l e a r ly a n y th i n g but reliant on this assu rance
, .
,
,
“
doggedly muttered Alfred David .
”
I S that your name asked Lightwood .
My name returned the man N O I want to take .
a Alfred David .
(Which Eugen e smoking and contemplating him inter , ,
p r e te d as mean i ng Affidavit ) .
“
I tell you my good fellow said Lightwood with his
, , ,
i ndolent laugh that I have nothing to do with swearing

, .
”
“ “
He can swear a t you Eugene explained and so can I ,
”
.
”
But we can t do more for you ’
.
Much d i s c o m fi te d by this information the visitor turned ,
the drowne d dog or cat puppy or kitten about and about , , ,
and looked from one of the Governors Both to the other of

the Governors Both whil e he deeply considered within him ,
self At length he decided

.
Then I must be took down .
Where asked Lightwood .
”
Here said the man , In pen and ink . .
F irst let us know what your business is about

, .
’ ”
It s about said the man taking a step forward dropping
, , ,
his hoarse voice and shading it with his hand ,

“
it s about ,
’
from five to ten thousand pound reward T hat s What it s .

’ ’
’ ’
about It s about Murder That s what it s about
. .
’
.
“
Come nearer the table Sit down W il l you have a . .
glass of wine
“
Yes I will said the man ; and I don t deceive you
, ,
’
G ov e r n or s f
’
It was given him Making a Sti ff arm to the elbow he .

,
poured the w i ne into his mouth tilte d it into his right cheek , ,
“
a s say i ng What do you think of it ? tilted i t into his left
,
“
cheek as saying What do y ou t hi nk of it ? j erked it into
, ,
”
“ ”
his stoma c h as saying What do y ou think O f it ?
, To ,
“
conclude smacked his lips as if all three replied We think
, , ,
well of i t .
”
Will you have another ?

“
Yes I will 3 he repeated
, and I don t deceive you ,
,
’
,
’
Governors And also repeated the other proceedings

. .
“
Now began Lightwood what s your name
,
”
,
’
’
Why there you re rather fast Lawyer Lightwo od he
, , ,
“
replied in a remonstrant manner
, Don t you see Lawyer .
’
,
’
Lightwoo d ? There you re a little bit fast I m going to .
’
earn from five to ten thousand pound by the Sweat of my

brow ; and as a poor man doing j ustice t o the sweat o f ,
my brow is it likely I can afford to part with so mu ch as

,
my name without its being took down

Deferring to the man s sense of the binding powers of pen ’
and ink and paper Lightwood nodded acceptance of Eugene s,

’
nodded proposal to take those spells i n hand Eugene .

,
bringing them to the table sat down as clerk or notary .
No w said Lightwood what s you r name ?

,
“ ’
, ,
But further precaution was still due to the sweat of this

honest fellow s brow ’
.
“ “
I Should wish Lawyer Lightwood he stipulated to , , ,
have th at T other Governor as my witness that what I said

’
I said Consequent will the T other Governor be SO good

.
,
’
as chuck me his name and where he lives

Eugene cigar in mou th and pen in hand tossed him his
, ,
card After spelling it out slowly the man made it into a

.
,
little roll and tied it up in an en d of his neckerchief still

,
more Slowly .
” “
Now said Lightwood for the third time
,
if you have , ,
quite completed you r various preparations my friend and , ,
have fully ascertained that your spirits are cool and not in
’
any way hurried what s your name ,
”
Roger Riderhood .
Dwelling place -
Lime ns Hole ’
.
”
Calling or occupation
Not quite so glib with this answer a s with the previous
“
two Mr Riderhood gave in the definition
,
. Waterside
character .
“
Anything against you ? Eugene quietly put i n as he ”
wrote .
Rather bau l ked Mr Ri derhood evasively remarked with ,

. ,
“ ’
an innocent air that he believed the T other Governor had
,
asked him su mmat .

”
“
Ever in trouble said Eugene .
“ ”
Once (Might happen to any man Mr Riderhood
.
,
.
added incidentall y ) .
On suspicion of
Of seaman s pocket said Mr Riderhood ’
Whereby I . .
was in reality the man S best friend and tried to take care ,
of him .
”
With the sweat of your b row asked Eugene .
Till it poured down like rain said Roger Riderhood ,

”
.
Haven t I said Take me an d get me sworn to it ? Don t I

’
,
’
’
say so now You won t deny it Lawyer Lightwood ,
Surely not ; but you only o ffer to swear to your

suspicion and I tell you it is not enough to swear to your
,
”
s u s pi c I o n .
Not enough ain t it Lawyer Lightwood he cautiou sly

,
’
demanded .
Positively not .
And did I say it wa s enough ? Now I appeal to the

. ,
T other Governor Now fair

’
Did I say SO .
,
He certainly has n ot said that he had no more to tell ,
Eugene O bserved i n a low voice without looking at him ,
whatever he seemed to imply .

”
Hah cried the informer triumphantly perceiving th at ,
the re m ark was generally in his favour, though apparently

not closely understanding it “
Fo r t n a te for me I had a
’
.
witness ! ”
G O on then said Lightwood

, Say out what you have
,
.
to say No afterthought
. .
“
Let me be took down then cried the informer eagerly ,
“
and anxiously Let me be took down for by George and
.
,
the Dr a gg i n I m a coming t o it now ! Don t do nothing to

’
-
’
keep back from a honest man the fruits of the sweat of his
brow ! I give information then that he told me that he , ,
d one it Is tha t enough

.
“
Take care what you say my friend returned Mortimer , ,
.
Lawyer Lightwood take care you what I say ; for I , , ,
j udge you ll be answerable for fol l e r i n g it up

’
Then slowly ,
and emphatically beating it all out with his open right hand
“
on the palm of his left I Roger Riderhood Lime ns Hole , ,
’
Waterside character tell you Lawyer Lightwo od that the , , ,
man Jesse He x a m commonly called upon the river and ,
along shore Gaffer told me that he done the deed What s

-
,
.
’
more he told me with his own lips that he done the deed
,
.
’
What s more he said that h e done the deed
’
,
An d I ll .
swear it
“
Where did h e tell you SO
‘
Outside replied Riderhood always beating it out with

,
”
, ,
h i s head determinedly set askew and his eyes watchfully ,

“
dividing their attention between his two auditors outside ,
the door of the Six Jolly F ellowships towards a quarter arter ,
t welve O clock at midnight — but I will not in my conscience

’
undertake to s wear to so fine a matter as five minutes —o n

C O NFES SIO N OF FOU L P L AY 1 83
the night when he picked up the body Th e Six Jolly .
F ellowships stands on the spot still Th e Six Jolly F el l ow .
’
ships won t run away If it turn s out that h e warn t at th e
’
.
Six Jolly F ellowships that night at midnigh t I m a liar ,

’
.
“
What did h e say
“
I ll tell you (take me down T other Governor I ask n o
’
,
’
better) He come out first ; I come out last I might be

. .
a minute arter him I might be half a minute I might be a ,
quarter of a minute I cannot swear to that an d therefore I ,
won t That s knowing th e O bligations of a Alfred David

’
.
’
,
’
ain t it
G O on .
I foun d him a waiting to speak to m e He says to me -
Rogu e Riderhood —
.
,
for that s the name I m mostly called by

’ ’ ’
not for any meaning in it for meanin g it h a s none but , ,

”
because of its being similar to Roger .
”
Never min d that .
’
Scuse m e La wyer L ightwood it s a p a rt Of the truth
, ,
’
,
and as such I do mind it a n d I must min d it an d I wil l ,
mind it Rogue Riderhood h e says words passed betwixt

.
,
’
,
u s on the river to ni ght Which they h a d ; ask his -

.
’
.
‘ ‘
daughter ! I threatened you h e says to chop you over ,
’
the fingers with my boat s stretcher or ta ke a aim at your ’
brains with my boat hook I did so on accounts of you r -

.
looking too hard at what I had in tow a s if you was sus ,
p i c i o u s and on accounts of you r holdi n g on to th e gunwale

,
of my boat I says to him Gaffer I know it

.
’
He says t o , ,
.
’
me Rogue Riderhood you are a man in a dozen — I think

,
‘
,
he said in a score but of that I am not positive so take the , ,
lowest figure fo r preciou s be the O bligations of a Al fr ed

,
‘ ‘ ’
David .And he says when you r fellow men is up be it
, ,
-
,
their lives or be it their watches sharp is ever th e word ,
with you Had you suspicion s ?

. I says Gaffer I h a d ; ’
, ,
’
an d what s more I have He falls a shaking and he says
, .
’
-
, ,
‘ ‘
Of what ? I says Of foul play
’
He falls a shaking ,
.
’
-
worse and h e says There wa s foul play then I done it

,
‘
, .
for his money Don t betray me ! Those were the words

.
’ ’
as ever he u sed .
There was a sil ence broken only by the fall of the ashes ,
in the grate An opportunity whi ch the i nformer improved

.
by smearing himsel f all over the head an d neck and face

wi th his drown ed cap and not at all improving his own ,
appearance .
What more asked Lightwood .
Of him d ye mean Lawyer Lightwood

,
’
Of anything to the purpose .
N o w I m blest if I u nderstand you Governors Both

’
, ,
said the informer in a creeping manner : propitiating ,

“
both though only one had spoken
,
What ? Ain t tha t .
’
”
enough ?
“
Did you ask him how he did it where he did it when , ,
he did it ?
“
Far be it from me Lawyer Lightwood ! I was so ,
troubled in my mind that I wouldn t have knowed more ,

’
no not for the sum as I expect to earn from you by the

,
sweat of my brow twice told ! I h a d put an end to the ,

‘
h
’
p a r d n e r s h i p I had.c u t t e c onnexion I couldn t und o _

.
‘
what was done and when he begs and prays Old pardner , ,
’ ’
on my knees don t Split upon me ! I only makes answer
, ,
Never speak another word to Roger Ri derho od nor look him ,
in the face ! and I shuns that man

’
.
Having given these words a s wing to make them m ount

the higher and go the further Rogue Riderhood poured ,
himself out another glass of win e unbidden and seemed t o ,
chew it as with the half emptied glass in his han d he stared

, ,
-
,
at the candles .
Mortimer glanced at Eugene but Eugene sat glowering ,
at his paper and would give him no responsive glance

, .
Mortimer again turned to the informer to whom he said : ,

“ You have been troubled in you r mind a long time man
,
Giving h i s wine a final chew and swallowing it the , ,
informer answered in a single word

“
Hages
When all that stir was made when the Government ,
reward was o ffered when the police were on the alert when
, ,
”
the whole count r y rang with the c rime ! said Mortimer ,
impatiently .
Hah Mr Riderhood very slowly and hoarsely chimed

.
“ ’
in with several retrospective nods of his head
,
Warn t I .
troubled in my mind then

“
When conjecture ran wild when the most extravagant ,
suspicions were afloat when half a dozen innoce nt people ,

- -
”
might have been laid by the heels any hour in the day !
said Mortimer almost warming ,
.
’
Hah Mr Riderhood chimed in as before
. Warn t I ,
.
troubled in my mind through it all

1 86 O UR MU TU A L FRIEND
After another silence broken only by the fall of the ashes ,

’
in the grate which attracted the informer s attention as if it
,
were the chinking of money Mortimer Lightwood leaned ,
over his friend and said in a whisper ,
I suppose I must go with this fellow to our imperturbable

friend at the pol ice station -
.
“ ”
I suppose said Eugene there is no help for it
, ,
.
Do y o u belie v e him
I believe h i m to be a thoro ugh rascal But he may tell .
the truth for his own purpose and for this occasi on only
, , .
”
“
It doesn t look like it ’
.
He doesn t said Eugene ’

But neither is his late
,
”
.
partner whom he denounces a prepossessing person The

, , .
firm are cut throat Shepherds both in appearance I should

-
, .
”
like to ask him one thing .
The subj ect of this conference sat leering at the ashes ,
trying with all his might to overhear what was said but ,
“
feigning abstraction as the Governors B oth glanced at
him .
“
Y o u mentioned (twice I think) a daughter of t h is ,
He xa m s said Eugene aloud

’
,
”
You d on t mean to imply ,
.
’
that Sh e had any g u ilty knowledge of the crime

The honest man after considering— perh aps co n sidering ,
how his answer might affect the fruits of the sweat of his
brow—replie d unreservedly NO I don t , ,
’ ”
“
And you implicate no other person
It ain t what I implicate it s what Ga ffer implic ated
’
,
’
,
“
was the dogged and determine d answer I don t pretend .
’
‘ ’
to know more than that his words to me was I done it ,
.
Those was his words .
“
I must see this out Mortimer whispered Eugene rising , , ,
.
How shall we go
“
L et us walk whispered Lightwood and give this
,
”
,
”
fellow time to think of it .
Having exchanged the question and answer they prepared ,
themselves for going out and Mr Riderhood rose W hile ,

. .
extinguishing the candles Lightwood quite as a matter of , ,
course took up the glass from which that honest gentleman

,
had drunk and coolly tossed it under the grate where it fell
, ,
shivering into fragments .
“ “
Now if you will take the lead said Lightwood Mr
, , ,
.
W r a y b u r n and I will follow You know where to go I .

,
suppose
To THE P OLI C E -
S TA TION 1 87
I suppose I do La wyer Lightwood
, .
Take the lead then ,

.
”
The waterside character pulled his drowned cap over his

ears with both hands and mak i ng h i msel f m ore rou nd
,
shouldered than nature had made him by the sullen and ,
persistent slouch with which he went went d own the stairs , .
round by the Temple Church across the Temple into White ,
friars and so on by the waterside streets

,
.
“ ”
Look at his hang dog air said Lightwood following
-
, , ,
”
It strikes me rather as a hang m a n air returned Eugene -
, .
”
He has undeniable intentions that way .
They said little else as they followed He went on befo re .
them as an ugly F ate might have done and they kept him ,
in view and would have been glad enou gh to lose sight of

,
h im But on h e went before them always at the same

.
,
distance and the same rate Aslant agai n st the hard .
implacable weather and the rough wind he was n o m or e to ,
be driven back than hurried forward but held on like an ,
advancing Destiny There came when they were about mid

.
,
way on their j ourney a heavy rush of hail which i n a few

, ,
minutes pelted the streets clear and whitened them It ,

.
made no di fference to him A man s life being to be taken .

’
and the price of it got the hailstones to arrest th e purpose

,
must lie larger and deeper than those He crushed through .
them leaving m arks in the fast melting slush that were mere
,
-
shapeless holes ; one might have fancied following that th e , ,
very fashion of humanity had departed from his feet .
Th e blast went by and the moon conten ded with the fast
,
fly i n g clouds and the wild disorder reigning up there made

,
the pitiful little tumults in the Streets of n o account It was .
not that the wind Swept all the brawlers into places of
Shelter as it had swept the h ail still lingering in heaps
,
wherever there was refuge for it ; but that it seemed as if

the streets were absorbed by the Sk y and the night were all ,
in the air .
“ “
If he h a s h a d time to think of it said Eugene he has , ,
not had time to think better Of i t— or di fferently of it if ,

’
that s better There is no S ign O f drawing back in him and
.
as I recollect this place we must be close upon the corner

,
where we alighted that night .

”
In fact a few abrupt turns brought them to the river side

,
-
,
where they had slipped about among the stones and where ,
they now Slipped more ; the wind coming against them in

1 88 OUR MU TU A L FRIE ND
slants and flaws across the tide and the windings of the river
, ,
in a furious way With that habit of getting under the .
lee of any Shelter which waterside characters acquire the ,
waterside character at presen t in question led the way to the

lee side of the Six Jolly F ellowsh ip Porters before he spoke -
.
“
Look round here Lawyer Lightwood at them red , ,
It s the F ello wships the O use as I told you

’
curtains .
,
’
’
wouldn t run away And has it run away ? .
Not showing himself much imp ressed by this rem a rkable

confirmation of the informer s evidence Lightwood inquired ’
what other business they had there

“
I wished you to see the F ellow ships for yourself Lawyer ,
Lightwood that you might j u dge wheth er I m a liar ; and

,
’
now I ll Se e Ga ffer s window for myself that we may know

’ ’
whether he s at home ’
.
”
With that he crept away , .
“
He ll come back I suppose
’
murm ured Lightwood , .
Aye ! and go through with it murmured Eugene ,

”
.
He came back after a very short interval indeed .
’
Gaffer s out and h i s boat s out His d au ghter s at home
,
’
.
’
sitting a looking at the fire But there s some supper getting

-
.
’
ready so Gaffer s expected I can find what move h e s upon

,
’
.
’
,
”
easy enough presently , .
Then he beckoned and led the way again and they ca m e ,
to the police station still as clean and cool and steady as

-
,
before saving that the flame of its lamp — be i ng but a l amp

fla m e and only attached to the F orce as an outsider —fli c k e r e d
,
in the wind .
Also within doors Mr Inspector was at his Studies as of

, ,
.
yo re He recognised the friends the ins tant they reappeared

.
,
but their reappearance had no effect on his composure Not .
even the circumstance that Riderh ood was their conductor

moved him O therwise than that as he took a dip O f ink h e
,
seemed by a settlement of his chin in his stock to propound

, ,
to that personage without looki n g at him the qu estion , , ,

‘
What have y ou been up to last ? ,
Mortimer Lightwood asked him would he be so good as ,

’
look at those notes Handing him Eugene s .
Having read the first few lines Mr Inspector mounted to ,

.
that (for him) extraordinary pitch of emotion that he said ,
Does either of you two gentlemen happen to have a pinch

of snu ff about him F inding that neither had he did ,
quite as well without it and read on ,

.
1
And I think added Mr Inspector in conclusion that

,
.
, ,
if all goes well with him he s in a tol erable way of getti ng

,
’
it B ut as this is the F ellowships gentlemen where the

.
, ,
lights are I recommend dropping the subj ect You can t do

, .
’
better than be interested in some lime work s anywhere d oW n

about No r th fle e t a n d d o u b tfu l wh e th e r some o f your lime
'
, _
don t get into bad company as it comes up in barges

’
,
.
”
You hear Eugene

,
said Lightwood , over his shoulder .
You are deeply interested in l ime .

”
”
Without lime returned that unmoved barrister a t law
,
- -
,
”
my existence would be unilluminated by a ra y of hope .
C H A PT E R XII I
TRA CK IN G THE BIRD OF PREY
THE two lime merchants with their escort entere d the , ,
do minion s O f Miss Abbey Potterson to whom their escort ,
(presenting them and their pretended business over the half

door of the bar i n a confidential way) preferred his figurative
,
request that a mouthful of fire might be lighted in Cosy .
Always wel l disposed to assist the constituted authorities ,
Miss Abbey bade Bob Gliddery atten d the gentlemen to

that retreat and promptly enliven it with fire an d gaslight
, .
Of this commission the bare armed Bob leadin g the way -

,
with a flaming wisp O f paper so speedil y acquitted himself , ,
that Cosy seemed to leap out of a dark sleep and embrace

them warm ly the moment they passed the l intels of its
,
-
hospitable door .
“
They burn sherry very well here said Mr Inspecto r a s , .
,
“
a piece of local intelligence Perhaps you gentlemen might .
like a bottle
Th e answer being By all means Bob Gliddery received his ,
instructions from Mr Inspector and departed in a becoming .

,
state of alacrity engendered by reverence for the majesty of

the law .
“ ’ “
I t s a certain fact said Mr Insp e ctor that this man ,
.
,
we have received our in formation from indicating Rider ,

”
hood with his thumb over his shoulder has for some time ,
past given the other man a bad name arising out of your
lime barges and that the other man h a s been a voided in
,
’
consequence I don t say what it means or proves but it s
.
’
a certain fact I had it first from one of the opposite sex of

.
my acquaintance vaguely indicating Miss Abbey with h i s

,
”
“
thumb over his shoulder down away at a distance over , ,
”
yo n d e n
Then probably Mr Inspector was not quite unprepared .
for their visit that evening Lightwood hinted .
“ “
Well you see said Mr Inspector it was a question of
, ,
”
.
,
’
maki n g a move It s of no use moving if you d on t know
.
’
1 2
what yo u r move is You had better by far keep st il l In

. .
the matter of this l i me I certain ly had an idea that it might

,
lie betwixt the two men ; I al ways had that idea S til l .
I was forced to wait for a start an d I wasn t so lucky as to ,

’
get a start This man that we have received o u r i nforma

.
tion from has got a start and if he don t meet with a check
’
he m a y make the run ni ng and come in first There may .
t u rn o ut to be something considerable for him that comes in

’
second and I don t mention who may or who may not tr y
,
’
for that place There s duty to do and I shall do it under
.
, ,
any circumstances to the best of my j udgment and abil ity

, .
”
Speaking as a s hipper O f lime began Eugene .
Which n o man has a better right to do than yourself ,
you kno w said Mr Inspector

,
”
. .
I hope not said Eugene ; my father having been a

,
”
shipper of li me before The and my grandfather before him ,
in fact we have been a family immersed to the crowns of our

heads in lime during several generations — I b eg to observe
that if this m i s s i n g l i m e could be got hold of without any
young female relative of any distin guished gentleman e n
gaged in the lime trade (which I cherish next to my life) ’
being present I think it might be a more agreeable proceed

,
ing to the assisting bystanders that is to say l ime burners , ,

-
.
”
”
I also said Lightwood pushing his friend aside with
, ,
“ ”
a laugh should much prefer that
,
.
It shall be done gent l emen if it can be done con, ,

”
veniently said Mr Inspector with coolness
,
. There is no ,
.
wish on my part to cause any distress in that quarte r Indeed .

,
I am sorry for that quarter .
“
There was a boy in that quarter remarked Eugene ,
.
He is sti ll there
NO said Mr Inspector
,
”
.He h as quitted those works . .
He is o therwise d i sposed of .
Will she be left alone then asked Eugene .
She will be left said Mr Inspector alone ,

”
.
, .
B ob s reappearance wi t h a ste aming jug broke o ff the con

’
versation But al though the j ug steamed forth a delicious

.
perfu m e its contents had not received that last happy touch
,
which the surpassing finish O f the Six Jolly F ellowship

Porters imparted on such momento u s occ as ions Bo b carried .
in his left hand one of those iron models of sugar loaf hats -
before mentioned I nto which he emptie d the j ug and the ,
pointed end of which he thr ust deep down i nto the fire ,
I
before next high water or it might be an hour or so later ;

-
, .
that his daughter surveyed through the win dow woul d, ,
seem to be so expecting hi m for the supper was not cook i ng , ,
but set out ready to be cooked that it would be high water -
at about one and that it was now barely te n ; that there

,
was nothing to be done bu t watch and wait ; that the

informer was keeping watch at the instant of that present
reporting but that two heads were better than on e (especially
,
when the second was Mr Inspector s) and that the .

’
reporter meant to share the watch And forasmuch as . .
crouch i ng u nder the lee of a hauled u p boat on a night when -
it blew cold and strong and when the weather was varied ,
with blasts of hail at times might be wearisome to amateurs , ,
the reporter closed with the recommendation that the two

gentlem en should remain for awhile at any rate in their , ,
present q uarters which were weather tight and warm

,
-
.
They were not inclin ed to dispute this recommendat i on ,
but they wanted to know where they could j o i n the watchers

when so disposed Rather than trust to a v erbal description
.
of the place which might mislead Eugene (with a less

, ,
weighty sense of personal trouble on h i m than he usually ‘
had ) would g o o u t with Mr Inspector note the spot an d

- .
.
, ,
com e back .
O n the Shelving bank of the rive r among the slimy stones ,
of a causeway— not the Spec i al causeway of the Six J olly

F ellowships which had a landing place of its own but
,
-
,
another a little removed and very near to the old windmill

, ,
which was the denounced man s dwelling place —were a few ’

-
boats some moored and already beginning to float others

, ,
h a u l e d u p above the r e a c h o f the tide Under one of these .
latter Eugene s companion disappeared And when Eugene

’
.
had observed its p osition with reference to the other boats ,
and had made sur e that he c ould not mis s it he turned his ,
eyes upon the bu ilding where as he had been told the lonely , ,
girl with the dark h ai r s a t by the fire '
He could see the light of the fire shining through the.
window Perhap s it drew him on to look i n

. Perhaps he .
had come out with the express inte ntion Th a t part O f .
the bank having rank grass growing on it there was n o ,
difficulty in getting close without any noise O f footsteps

it was but to scramble up a ragged fac e O f pretty hard
mud some three or four feet high and come upon the gras s
and to the window He came to the window by that means
. .
W A I TI N G FO R F A THE R
1
98 O UR M UTU A L F RIEND
You are mighty learned t o night you and your i n flu -

,
ences returned E ugene

,
”
How long shall we stay here ? .
”
How long do you thi nk ?

If I could choose I should say a minute repli ed
‘
, ,
Eugene for the Jolly F ellowship Porters are not the j oll i e s t
,
-
dogs I have known But I suppose we are best here till they .
t u rn us out with the other suspicious characters at midnight , .
Thereupon he stirre d the fire and sat down on one side O f ,
it It Struck eleven and he made believe to compose hi mself

.
,
patiently But gradually he took the fid g e ts in one leg and

.
,
then in the other leg and then in one arm and then in the , ,
other arm and then in his chin and then in his back and
, , ,
then i n his forehead and then in his hair and then in his , ,
nose ; and then he stretched himself recu mbent on two chairs ,
and groaned an d then he started up .
Invisible insects of diabolical activity Swarm in this place .
I a m tickled and t witched all over Mentally I have n ow .

,
committed a burglary under the meanest circumstances an d ,

”
the myrmidons of j u stice are at my heels .
“
I am quite as bad said Lightwo od sittin g up facing ,
”
,
him with a tumbled head after going through some

.
,
wonderful evolutions in which his head had been t he lowest ,

“
part of him This restlessness b egan with me long ago
.
, , .
All the time you were out I felt like Gulliver with the ,
Lilliputians firing upon him .
It won t do Mortimer We must get into the air ; we

’
, .
must j oin our dear friend and brother Riderhood And let ,
.
us tranqu illi ze ourselves by making a compact Next time .
(with a view to our peace of mind ) we ll commit the crime

’
instead of tak ing the criminal You swear it .
Certainly .
”
S worn Let Tippin s look to it Her life s in danger .

’
.
Mor timer rang the bell to pay the score and Bob ,
appeared to transact that business with him : W hom Eugene ,
in his careless extravagance asked if he would like a situation ,
in the lime trade

Thankee Si r no sir said Bob “
I ve a good s i ti wa ti on
, , , , .
’
”
here sir ,
.
“
If you change your mind at any time returned E ugene , ,
come to me at my works and you ll always find an opening ,

’
in the lime kiln -

.
”
Thankee sir said Bob , ,

.
This is my partner said Eugene who keeps the books ,

”
,
EU G ENE I S I N A RIDI C U L OUS H UMOU R 1
99
’
and attends to the wages A fai r day s wages for a fair
. .
’ ”
day s work is ever my partner s mott o
’
.
And a very good n u it is gentlemen said Bob rece ivi ng ’
, , ,
his fee and drawi ng a bow out of hi s head with his right
,
hand very mu ch as he would have drawn a pint of beer ou t

,
O f the beer engine -

.
“
Eugene Mortimer apostrophized him laugh i ng quite
,
”
,
“
heartily when they were alone again how c a n you be so -
ridiculous
“ “
I am in a ridiculou s humour quoth Eugene ; I am ,
a ridiculous fellow Everyt hing is ridiculous Come . .
along ! ”
It passed into Mortimer Light woo d s mind that a change ’
of some sort best expressed perhaps as an i ntensification of

,
al l that was wi ldest and most negligent and reckless in his
friend had come upon him in the last half hour or so

,
-
.
Thoroughly used to him as he was he found somethin g new ,
and strained in him that was for the moment perpl exing .
This passed into his mind and passed out again ; but he ,
remembered it afterwards .
There s where she sits you see said Eugene when they
’
, , ,
were stand i ng under the ba nk r oared and riven at by the ,
wind . There s the light of her fire ’

.
”
“ ’
I ll take a peep through th e w i ndow said Mortimer , .
No don t ,
Eugene caught h i m by the arm
’
Best not .
make a show of her Come to ou r honest friend . .
He led him to the post of watch and they both dropped ,
down and crept under the lee of the boat ; a better shelter
than it had seemed before bei ng directly contrasted with the ,
blo wi ng wind and the bare night .
“
Mr Inspector at home ? whispered Eugene
. .
”
Here I am sir , .
And our friend of the persp i ring brow is at the far

corner there Good Anything happened .
“
His daughter has been out thinking she h eard him ,
cal l ing unless it was a Sign to him to keep out Of the way
, .
It might have been .

”
“
It might have been Rule Britannia muttered Eugene , ,
but it was n t Mortimer ! ’

.
”
“ ”
Here ! (On the other side of Mr Inspector ) . .
Two burglaries n ow and a forgery ,
With this indication of his depressed state of mind Eugene ,
fell silent .
2 00 OUR MUTU A L F RIEND
They were all silent for a long while As it got to be .
flo o d ti de and the wate r came nearer to them noises on the

-
, ,
river became more frequent and they li stened more To the , .
turning of steam paddles to the clinking of iron chain to -

, ,
the creaking of blocks to the measure d working of oars to , ,
the occasional violent barking of some pass i ng dog on ship

board W h o seemed to scent them lying in their hiding place
”
-
, .
The night was not SO dark but that besides the lig hts at ,
bows and mas theads gliding to an d fro they could discern ,
so m e shadowy bulk attached and now and then a ghostly

lighter with a large dark sail like a warning arm would , ,
start up very near them pass on and vanish At this time , , .
of their watch the wate r close to them would be O ften,
agitated by some impulsion given it from a distance Often .
they believed this beat and plash to be the boat they lay in
wait for running in ashore and again and agai n they would
have started up but for the immobility with which the ,
infor m er well used to the river kept quiet in hi s place

, , .
Th e wind carried away the striking of the great multitud e

of city chu rch clocks for those lay to leeward of them ; but ,
there were bells to windward that told the m of its being One
—TW O —Three Without that aid they would have known
.
how the night wore by the fall ing of the tide recorded in , ,
the appearance of an ever wide ning black wet strip of shore -

,
and the emergence of the paved causeway from the river foot ,
by foot .
As the time so passed this sli nking busin ess became a more ,
and more precarious one It would see m as if the man had .
had some i ntimation of what was in hand against h i m or had ,
taken fright His movements might have b een planned to

.
’
gain for him in getti ng beyond their reach twelve hours
, ,
advantage The honest man W h o had expended the sweat of

.
his brow became uneasy and began to complain with bitter ,
ness of the proneness of mankind to cheat him— him invested

with the dignity of Labour
Their retreat was so chosen that wh ile they could watch
the river they could watch the house No one had passed
,
.
in or out sinc e the daughter thought she heard the

,
father calling No one could pass in or out without being

.
seen .
“
But it will be li ght at five said Mr Inspector ,
.
,
then we shall be seen .
“
Look here said Riderhood what do you say to this ?
,
”
,
2 02 O UR MUT UA L F RI END
Understood all .
“
O ff Sh e goes then
In a moment with the wind cutting keenly at him sideways
, ,
he was Staggering down to h i s boat ; in a few moments he

was clear and creeping up the river under their own shore
, .
Eugene had raised himself on his elbow to look into the

“
darkness after him I wish the boat of my honourable and
.
gallant friend he murmured lying down again and Speaking ,
into his hat may be endo wed with philanthropy enough to

,
turn bottom upward and extinguish him — Mortimer

-
.
”
“
My honourable friend .
”
Three burglaries two forgeries and a midnight assassina , ,
tion .
Yet in spite of having those weights on his conscie n ce

Eugene was somewhat enlivened by the late Slight change in
the circumstances of a ffairs So were his two companions . .
Its being a change was everything The suspense seemed to .
have taken a new lease and to have begun afresh from a ,
recent date There was something additional to look for

. .
They were all three more sharply on the alert and l ess ,
deadened by the miserable influences of the place and time .
More than an hour had passed and they were even dozing , ,
when one O f the three — each said it was he and he had n ot ,
dozed — made out Riderhood in his boat at the spot agreed

on They sprang up ca m e out from their shelter and went
.
, ,
down to him When he saw the m coming he dropped

.
,
alongside the causeway so that they standing on the cause ,
wa y could Speak with him i n whispers under the shadowy

, ,
mass of the Six Jolly F ellowship Porters fast asleep -

.
”
Blest if I can make it out ! said he staring at them , .
Make what out ? Have you seen him
What h a ve you seen ? asked Lightwoo d F or h e was ”

.
staring at them in the strangest way .
“ ”
I ve seen his boat
’
.
Not empty
Yes empty And what s more —adrift And what s
, .
’
, .
’
more with one scull gone

,
-
And what s more —with .
’
t other scull j ammed in the thowels and broke short O ff

’
.
And what s more — the boat s drove tight by the tide atwixt
’
,
’ ’
two tiers of barges And what s more — he s in luck again .

’
,
’
,
by George if h e ain t ! ’
CHA PT E R XI V
THE B IRD OF P REY BROUG HT DO WN
CO LD on the shore in the raw cold of that leaden crisis in

,
'
the four and twenty hours when the vital force Of all the
- -
noblest and prettiest things that live is at its lowest the ,
three watchers looked each at the blank faces of the other

two and all at the blank face of Riderhood in his boat
, .
Gaffer s boat Gaffer in luck again and yet no Gaffer !

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, ,
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SO spake Riderhood staring disconsolate ,

.
As if with one accord they all turned their eyes towards ,
the light of the fire shining through the window It was .
fainte r an d duller Perhaps fire like the higher animal an d

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,
vegetable life it helps to sustain has its greate st ten dency ,
towards death when the night is dying and the day is not
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yet born .
If it was me that had the law O f this here j ob in hand ,
growled Riderhood with a threatening shake of his head

blest if I wouldn t lay hold of h er at any rate
’
Aye but it is not you said Eugene With someth i n g

, ,
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so suddenly fierce in him that the informer returne d sub

m i s s i ve l y : “
Well well well T other Gove r nor I didn t say
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it was A man may Speak

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“
And vermin may be silent said Eugene Hold your ,
.
tongue you water rat

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Astonished by his friend s unusual heat Lightwood stared ’
,
“
too and then said
,
What can have become of this man
“ ’
Can t imagine Unless he dived overboard . Th e i n .
former wiped his brow ruefully as he said it sitti n g in his ,
boat and always staring disconsolate .
Did you make hi s boat fast ?

’ ’
She s fast enough till the tide run s back I couldn t .
make her faster than she I s Come aboard of mine and see .
for your own selves .

’
There was a little backwardness in complying for the ,

freight looked too much for the boat ; but on Ride r h ood s ’
“
protesting that he had had half a dozen dead and alive in - -
, ,
her afo r e now and she was nothing deep in the water nor
,
down in the stern even then to Speak of they carefully took , ,

”
their places and trimmed the crazy thing While they were
, .
doing so Riderhood Still sat staring disconsolate

, .
“
All right Give way . said Lightwood .
Give way by George ! repeated Riderhood before

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“
shoving O ff If he s gone an d made O ff anyhow Lawyer
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’
Lightwood it s enough to make me give way in a different

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’
manner B ut he al ways wa s a cheat con foun d him ! He

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,
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always was a infernal cheat was Gaffer Nothing straight , .
for a r d nothing o n the square So mean so underhanded

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,
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Never going through with a thing nor carrying it out like a ,
man
”
Hall o ! Steady ! cried Eugene (he had recovered
immediately on embarking ) as they bumped heavily against ,
a pile an d then in a lower voice reversed his late apostrophe

“
by remarking ( I wish the boat of my honourable and
gallant friend may be endowed with philanthropy enou gh
n ot to turn bottom upward and extinguish us !) -
Steady ,
steady ! Sit close Mortimer Here s the hail again See

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’
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how it flies like a troop of wild cats at Mr Riderhood s

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eyes
y .
I n d e e d he had the full benefit of it and it so mauled him , ,
though he bent his head low and tried to p r esent nothing

but the rn a n g y cap to it that he dropped under the lee of a ,
tier of shipping and they lay there u ntil it was over The
,
.
squall had come up like a spiteful messenger before the

morning ; there followed in its wake a ragged tier of light
which ripped the dark clouds until they showed a great grey
hole of day .
They were all shivering and everything about them seemed ,
to be shivering ; the river itself craft rigging sails such , , , ,
early smoke as there yet was on the shore Black with wet .
,
and altered to the eye by white patches of hail and sleet ,
the hu ddled buildings looked lower than usual as if they ,
were cowering and had shrunk with the cold Very little
, .
life was to be seen on either bank windows and doors were ,
S hut and the staring black and white letters upon wharves
,
and warehouses looked said Eugene to Morti m er

“ “
like ,
”
inscriptions over the graves of dead businesses .

”
As they glided slowly on keeping under the shore an d , ,

2 06 O UR MU TU A L FRIEND
’
barges I tried to haul in last time but I couldn t See
.
, .
how taut the line is ! ”
“ “
I must have it up said Mr Inspector I am going to ,
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take this boat ashore and his luck along with it Try easy ,
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n ow .
He tried easy now ; but the luck resisted wouldn t come ’

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I mean to have it and the boat too said Mr Inspector , ,

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,
playing the l i ne .
But still the luck resisted wouldn t come ’

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”
Take care said Riderhood You ll d i s figu r e Or pull
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asu nder perhaps .
“
I am not going to do either not even to your Grand ,
” “
mother said Mr Inspector
,
but I mean to have it . .
Come ! he added at once persuasively and with authority

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,
to the hidden O bj ect in the water as he played the line ,

“
again ; it s no good this sort of game you know You
’
,
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m u s t come up I mean to have you . .
There was so much virtue in this distinctly and decidedly

meaning to have '
it that it yielded a little even while the , ,
line was played .
“
I told you so qu oth Mr Inspector pul li ng O ff his ,
.
,
outer coat and leaning well over the stern with a will
, ,
“
Come
It was an awful sort of fishing but it no more disconcerted ,
Mr Inspector than if he had been fishing in a punt on a

.
sum mer evening by some soothing weir high up the peaceful

river After certain minute s and a few directions to the rest
.
“ ”
to ease her a little fo r a r d and now ease her a trifle a ft ’
, ,
and the like he said composedly All clear ! and the line
, ,
and the boat came free together .
Accepting Lightwood s pro ffered hand to help him up he ’

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“
then put on his co at and said to Riderhood Hand me , ,
over those spare scull s of yours and I ll pull th is in to the ,

’
nearest stairs G O ahead you and keep out in pretty O pen

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,
water that I mayn t get fouled again

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’
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”
His directions were obeyed and they pulled ashore directly ; ,
two in one boat two in the other ,

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“ ”
Now said Mr Inspector again t o Riderhood when they
, .
,
“
were all on the slushy stones you have had more practice
i n this than I have had and ought to be a better workman ,
”
at it Und o the tow rope and we ll help you haul in
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,
’
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R i derhood got into the boat accord ingly It appeared as .
if he had scarcely had a moment s time to touch the rope or ’

It had the curves and indentations in it still where it had ,
been twined an d bound .
“ ”
Now see said Mr Inspector see how it works round
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,
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upon him It s a wild tempestuous evening when this man
.
”
that was stooping to wipe some hails tones out of his hair
with an end of his own drown ed j acket —there
,
Now he s ,
’
more like hi m self though he s badly bruised — when this man

,
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that was rows out u pon the river on his usual lay He
,
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carries with h i m this coil of rope He always carries with .
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him this coil of rope It s as well known to me as he was .
himself Sometimes it lay i n the bottom of his boat Some

. .
times he hung it loose round his neck He was a light .
dresser was this man — you see

,
l i fting the loose necker
chief over his breast and taking the Opportu nity of wip i ng ,
the dead lips with i t and when it was wet or freezing o r , ,
blew cold he wo ul d hang this coil of l i ne round his neck

,
.
Last evening he does this Worse for him ! He dodges .
about in h is boat does this man til l he ge ts chilled His , ,

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hands taking up one of them which dropped lik e a leaden

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“ ’
weight get numbed He sees some obj ec t that s in his
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way of bus i ness floating He makes ready to secure that, .
O bj ect He u nwinds the end of his coil that he wants to

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take some turns on in his boat and he takes turns enough ,

’
on it to secure that it shan t run out He makes it too .
secure as it happens He is a little longer about this than

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usual his hands being numbed Hi s O bj ect drifts up before

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he is quite ready for it He catches at it thinks he ll make .

,
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sure of the contents of the pockets anyhow in case he should ,
be parted from it bends right over the stern and in one of , ,
these heavy squalls or in the cross swell of two steamers or ,

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in not being quite prepared or through all or most or some , ,
gets a lu rch overbalances and goes head foremost overboard

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Now see ! He can swim can this man and in stantly b e , ,
strikes out But i n such striking out he tangles his a rms

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pulls strong on the slip knot and it runs home The object -
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he had expected to take in tow floats by and his own boat ,
tows h im dead to where we found him all entangled in his

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own line You ll ask me how I make out about the pockets
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’
F irst I ll tell you more ; there was silver in em Ho w do

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’
I make that out ? Simple and satisfactory Because he s .
got it here The lecturer hel d up the tightly clenched right

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hand .
What is to be done with the remains asked Lightwood .

EU G ENE DIS A P P E A RS 2 I I
If you wouldn t O bject to standing by him half a minute

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,
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sir was the reply I ll find the nearest of our m e n to ’
come and take charge of him —

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I still call it h i m you see

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said Mr Inspector looking back as he went with a philo

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Sophical smile upon the force of habit

—
.
“ “
Eugene said Lightwood an d was about to add we
,
”
may wait at a little distance when turning his head he ,
found that no Eugene was there .
He raised his voice and called Eugene Holloa But

no Eugene replied .
It was broad daylight now and he looked about But no ,

.
Eugene was in all the view .
Mr Inspector speedily returning down the wooden stairs

.
with a p olice c onstable Lightwood asked him if he had seen

-
,
his friend leave them Mr Inspector could not exactly s a y .
that he had seen him go but had noticed that he was ,
restless .
Singular and entertaining combination Si r you r friend , ,

.
I wish it had not been a part of his singu lar and enter
tain i ng combination to give me the slip un der these d reary _
circumstances at this time of the m orning said Lightwood ,

”
.
“
Can we get anything hot to dri nk
We could and we did ,
In a public ho u se kitchen with .
-
a large fire We got hot brandy and water and it revived

u s wonderfu lly Mr Inspector having to Mr Riderhood
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,
. . .
“
announced his Official i ntention of keeping h i s eye upon
”
him stood him in a corner of the fireplace like a wet
, ,
u mbrella and took no furt h er outward and visible notice of

,
that honest m a n except orderi n g a separate service of brandy

,
and water for him apparen tly out of the public funds .
As Mortimer Lightwood sat b efore the blazing fire con ,
sciou s O f drink i ng brandy and wate r then and there in his

sleep and yet at one and the same time d rinking burnt sherry
,
at the Six Jolly F ellowships and ly i ng und er the boat on th e ,
river Shore and sitting in the boat that Riderhood rowed

, ,
and listening to the lecture recently con clu ded a n d having ,
to dine in the Temple with an unknow n man who described

himself as M R F Eugene Gaffer Harmon and said he lived
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at Hailstorm — as h e passed through these curious vicissitudes

,
O f fatigu e and slumber arranged upon th e scale of a dozen

,
hours to the second he became aware of answering alo u d a

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communication of pressing impo rtance that h a d never been

made to him and then turned it into a co u gh on beholding
,
Mr Inspector F or he felt with some natural indignatio n

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, ,
that that functionary might otherwise suspect him of having

closed his eyes or wandered in his attention , .
“
Here j ust before us you see said Mr Inspector
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I see said Lightwood with dignity

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And had hot brandy and water too you see said Mr , ,
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“
Inspector and then cut O ff at a great rat e
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“
Who said Lightwood .
Your friend you know ,

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I know he replied again with dignity
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After hearing in a m ist through which Mr Inspector

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loomed vague and large that th e O fficer took upon himself to ,
prepare the dead man s daughter for what had befallen in the ’
night and generally that he took everything upon himself

, ,
Mortimer Lightwood stumbled in his sleep to a cab stand -

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called a cab and had entered the army and committed a

,
capital military O ffence and been tried by court martial and -
fo u nd guilty and had arranged his a ffairs and been marched

out to be shot before the door banged , .
Hard work rowing the cab through t h e City to the Temple ,
fo r a cup of from five to ten thousand pounds value given by ,
Mr Boffin ; and hard work holding forth at that i m m e a s u r

.
able length to Eugen e (when he had been rescued with a rope

from the running pavement) for making o ff in that extra
ordinary manner But he O ffered such ample apologies and ,
was so very pe nitent that wh e n Li gh two o d got out O f the

,
cab he gave the driver a particular charge to be careful of

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him Which the driver (knowing there was no other fare

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left inside) stared at prodigiously .
In short the night s work had so exhau sted and Worn out
,
’
this actor in it that he had become a mere somn a mbulist

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He was to o tired to rest in his sleep until he was even tired ,
out of being too tired and dropped into O blivion Late in ,

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the afternoon he awoke and in some anxi ety sent round to ,
Eugene s lodging hard by to inqu ire if he were up yet

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Oh yes he was up In fact he had not been to bed He

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had j ust come home And here he was close following on

:
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the heels Of the message .
“
Why what bloodshot draggled dishevelled spectacle is
, , ,
this cried Mortimer .
“
Are my feathers SO very much rumpled said Eugene ,
coolly going up to the looking glass They a r e rather out -

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of sorts But consider Such a night for plumage !

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CH A PT E R X V
TW O NE W S E RVANTS
M R and Mrs Boffin sat after breakfas t in the Bower a prey

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to prosperity Mr Bo ffin s face denoted Care and Complica

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tion . Many disordere d papers were before h im and he ,
looked at them about as hopefully as an innocent civ i lian

might look at a crowd of troops whom he was required at
’
five min utes notice to man oe uvre and revi ew He had been .
engaged in some attempts to make notes of these papers ;

b u t being troubled (as men of his stamp often are) with an
exceedingly distrustful and corrective t humb that busy ,
member had so often interposed to smear his notes that they ,
were little more legible than the various impressions of

itself which blurred his nose and forehead It is curious to
, .
consider in such a case as Mr Boffin s what a cheap article

,
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ink is and how far it may be made to go As a grain of

,
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musk will scent a drawer for many years and still lose ,
noth i ng appreciable of its original weight so a halfpenny ,
worth of in k would blot Mr Bo ffin to the roots of his hair .
and the calves of his legs withou t inscribing a lin e on ,
the paper before hi m or appearing to diminish i n the ,
inksta nd .
Mr Bo ffin was in such severe lite ra ry d i fficulties that h is

.
eyes were prom i nent and fixed and his breathing was ster ,
torous when to the great relief of Mrs Boffin who observed

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these symptoms with alarm the yard bell rang .
“
Who s that I wonder said Mrs Bo ffin
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Mr Boffin drew a long breath laid down his pen looked

.
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at his notes as doubting whether he had the pleasure of their

acquai ntance and appeared on a second perusa l of their
, ,
countenances to be confirmed in his impression that he had

,
not when there was a nnounced by the hammer headed young

,
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man
Mr Rok e s m i th. .
MR . R O K E SMI TH CA LL S U PON MR . B O FFI N 2 1 5
Oh said Mr Bo ffin Oh indeed ! . . Our and the
W i l fe r s ’
Mutual F riend my dear Yes ,
. . Ask him to
’
come in .
Mr Rok e s m i th appeared
. .
“
Sit down s i r said Mr Bo ffin Shaking hands wi th him
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,
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Mrs Boffin you re already acquain ted with Well sir I

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am rather u nprepared to see you for to tell you the truth , , ,
I ve been so busy with one th ing and another that I ve not

’
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’
had time to tu rn your offer over .
That s apology for both of us for Mr Boffin and for me

’
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,
as well said the smiling Mrs Boffi n Bu t Lor ! we can

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’
talk it over now can t us
Mr Rok e s m i th bowed thanked her and said he hoped so
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“
Let me see then res u med Mr Boffin with his h and to ,
”
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his chin It was Secretary that you named : wasn t it
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I said Secretary assented Mr Rok e s m i th ,

. .
It rather puzzled me at the time said Mr Bo ffin and “

,
”
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,
it rather puzzled me an d Mrs Boffin when we spoke of it .
afterwards because (not to make a mystery of our belief) we

,
have always believed a Secretary to be a piece of furniture ,
mostly of mahoga ny lined with green baize or leather with , ,
a lot of little drawers in it Now you W on t think I take a .

’
liberty when I mention that you certainly ain t th a t ’

.
Certainly not said Mr Ro k e s m i th But he had u sed the

,
. .
word in the sense of Steward .
“
Why as to Steward you see returned Mr Boffin with
, , , .
,
“
his hand still to his chin the O dds are that Mrs Bo ffin and , .
me may never go upon the water Being b oth bad sailors .

,
we should want a Steward if we did but there s generally ’
”
one provided .
Mr Rok e s m i th again explained ; defining the duties he

“
sought to u ndertake as those of general superintendent or , ,
manager or overl ooker or man of business

, ,
.
N ow for instance — come

,
said Mr Boffin in his .
,
“
p ouncing way If you entered my employment wh at
.
,
would you do
I would keep exact accounts of all the expenditure you
sanctioned Mr Boffin I would wr ite you r letters un der
,
. .
,
your direction I would transact your business with peop l e

.
in your pay or employment I woul d wi th a glance and .

,
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a half smile at the table
-
arrange your papers ,
Mr Boffin rubbed his inky ear and looked at his wife

.
,
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And SO arrange them as to have them always in order
2 1 6 OUR MUTU A L FRI END
for immediate reference with a note of the contents of each ,
outside it .
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“
I tell you what said Mr Boffin slo wly crumpling his , .
,
“
own blotted note in his hand ; if you ll turn to at these ’
present papers and see what you can make of em I Shall,

’
know better what I can make of you .

”
No sooner said than done Relinquishing his hat and .
gloves Mr Rok e s m i th sat down quietly at the table arranged

,
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,
the open papers into an orderly heap cast his eyes over each ,
in succession folded it docketed it on the outside laid it in

, , ,
a second heap and when that second heap was complete an d

, .
the first gone took from his pocket a piece of S tring and tied
,
it together with a remarkably dexterou s hand at a running

curve and a loop .
“
Good said Mr Boffin Very good Now let u s hear . . .
’
what they re all about will you b e so good
John Ro k e s m i th read his abstracts aloud They were all .
about th e new house Decorator s estimate SO much Fu r n i .

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, .
ture estimate SO much Estimate for furniture of O ffices SO

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’
much Coach maker s estimate SO much
. Horse dealer s
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estimate S O mu ch ,
Harness maker s estimate so much .
-
’
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Goldsmith s estimate so mu ch Total so very much Then

’
,
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, .
came correspondence Acceptance of Mr Boffi n s O ffer of such . .

’
a date an d to such an effec t Rej ection of Mr Boffin s pro

,
. .
’
posal of su ch a date and to such an e ffect Concerning Mr . .
Bo ffin s scheme of su ch another date to such another effect

’
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All compact and methodical .
Apple pie order ! said Mr Boffin after checking o ff

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”
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,
each inscription with his hand like a man beating time ,

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“ ’
And whatever you do with your ink I can t think for , ,
you re as clean as a whistle afte r it Now as to a letter

’
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,
.
Let s said Mr Boffin rubbing h is hands in his pleasantly

’
,
”
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,
“ ”
childish admiration let s try a letter next ,
’
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To whom Shall it be addressed Mr Boffin ,

.
Any one Yourself . .

”
Mr Ro k e s m i th quickly wrote an d then read alou d

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,
‘
Mr Bo ffi n presents his compliments to Mr John Roke
. .
smith an d begs to say that he has decided on giving Mr

,
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John Rok e s m i th a trial in the capacity he desires to fill .
Mr Bo ffin takes Mr John Rok e s m i th at his word, in post

. .
p on i n g to so me indefinite period the consideration of salary .
It is quite understood that Mr Boffin is in no way committed .
on that point Mr Bo ffin has merely t o add that h e relies

. .
,
2 1 8 O UR MUTU A L F RIEND
Aristocratic (though a trifle high and dull which after all ,
may be part of the same thing) took it My literary man .
was SO friendly as to drop i nto a charmi ng piece of poetry

on that occasion in which he complimented Mrs Boffin on ,
.
coming into possession o f— how did it go my dear ? ,
Mrs Boffin replied .
‘
Th e ga y . th e g a y fe s ti v e s c e n e
and ,
Th e h a ll s , th e a h ll s o f d a z z l i n g
’
That s it An d it was made neater by there really being
.
two halls in the house a front u n and a back n u besides ,

’ ’
the servants He likewise dropped into a very pretty piece

’
.
of poetry to be su re respecting the extent to which h e would ,
be willing to put himsel f out O f the way to bring Mrs Bo ffin .
round i n case she sh ould ever get low in her spirits in the
,
house Mrs Boffin has a wonderful memory

. . Will you .
repeat it my dear ,
Mrs Bo ffin complied by recitin g the verses i n which this

.
,
obliging Offer had been made exactly as she had received ,
them .
I l l t e ll t h e e h o w th e m a i d e n w e p t M B o ffi n
’
rs , .
,
W h e n h e r t r u e l ov e w a s s l a i n m a a m ’
An d h o w h e r b ro k e n s p i r i t Sl e p t Mr s B offi n
, ,
, .
,
An d n e v e r wo k e a g a i n m a e m ’
.
I l l te ll th e e (i f a g r e e a b l e t o Mr B offi n ) h o w t h e s t e e d d r e w n i gh
,
’
.
,
An d l e ft h i s l or d a fa r ;
An d i f m y ta l e (wh i c h I h op e Mr Boffin m i gh t e x c u s e ) s h o u ld .
m a k e y ou s i g h ,
I l l s tr i k e th e l i gh t g u i ta r
’
.
“
Correct to the letter ! said Mr Boffin And I con ”
. .
sider that the poetry brings us both in i n a beautiful ,
manner .
”
The effect of the poem on the Secretary be i ng evidently to

astonish h i m Mr Boffin was confirmed in his high O pinion
,
.
of it and was greatly pleased

,
.
Now you see Rok e s m i th ; he went on a litera ry man

, ,
— wi th a wooden leg — is li able to j ealousy I shal l therefore .
cast about for comfortable ways and mea n s of not cal lin g up
W e g g s j ealousy but of keeping you in vour department
’
, ,
and keeping him in hi s .

”
“
Lor ! cried Mrs Boffin ”
What I say is the world s . .
,
’
wide enough for all of us

So it is my dear said Mr Boffin ,
“
when not literary
,
.
,
.
B ut when so not so And I am bound to bear in mind ,

.
R O KESMI TH L OO K S ROUN D THE B O VVE R 2 1 9
that I took W e gg on at a time when I had n o thought ,
of being fashionable or of leaving the B ower To let him .
feel himself an y ways slighted now would be to be guil ty of ,
a meanness an d to act like having one s head turned by the

,
’
halls of dazzling light Which Lord forbid ! Ro k e s m i th .

,
what shall we say abou t you r living in the house

In this house
No no I have got other plans for this house In the
,
. .
new house
“
That will be as you please Mr Boffin I hold myself ,
. .
quite at you r disposal You k now where I l ive at present . .
“
Well ! said Mr Boffin after consideri ng the point ;
”
.
,
suppose you keep as you are for the present and we ll ,

’
decide b y and bye You ll begin to tak e charge at once of all

- -
.
’
that s go i ng on in the new house will you

’
,
“
Most willingly I wil l begi n this very day Wil l you . .
give me the address

Mr Bo ffin repeated it and the Secretary wrote it down in
.
,
his pocket book Mrs Bo ffin took the opportunity of his

-
. .
being so engaged to get a better O bservation of his face than

,
she had yet taken It impressed her in his favour for Sh e .

,
nodded aside to Mr Boffin I l i ke hi m .

,
.
”
I wil l see directly that every thing is in train Mr ,

.
B o ffin
”
.
“
Thank ee Bein g here would you care at a ll to look
’
.
,
round the Bower ?

“
I should greatly like it I have heard so mu ch of its .
”
story .
“
Come ! said Mr Bo ffin ”
And he and Mrs B offin led . . .
th e way .
A gloomy house the Bower with sordid Signs on it of ,
h aving been through its long existence as Harmony Jail in

, ,
miserly hold i ng Bare of paint bare of paper on the walls

.
, ,
bare of furn itu re bare of experience of human life What

, .
ever is built by man for man s occupation must like natural ’
, ,
creations fulfil the intention of its existence or soon perish

, ,
.
This O l d house had wasted more from desuetude than it

would have wasted from use twenty years for one ,
.
A certain leann ess falls upon houses not sufficiently imbued

with l ife (as if they were nourished upon it) whi ch was very ,
noticeable here Th e staircas e balustrades a n d ra ils had a

Spare look — a n air O f being denuded to the bone —which the
.
, , ,
panels of the walls and the jambs of the doors and window s
also bore The scanty moveables partook of it save for th e

.
cleanliness O f the place the dust into which they were all ,
resolving would have lain thick on the floors ; and those ,
both in colour and in grain were worn like old faces that ,
had kept much alone .
The bedroom where the clutching Ol d man had lost h is

grip on life was left as he had left it There was the old .
grisly four post bedste ad without hangi ngs and with a j ail
-
, ,
like upper rim of iron and spikes ; and there was the old
patch work counterpane There was the tight clenched old
-
.
-
bureau receding atop like a bad and secret forehead ; there

,
was the cu m bersome Ol d table with twisted legs at the bed ,
side and there was the box upon it in which the will had ,
lain A fe w O l d cha i rs with patch work covers under which

.
-
,
the more precio u s stu ff to be prese rved had slowly l ost its
quality of colour without imparting pleas ure to any eye ,
stood against the wall A hard family li keness wa s on all .
these things .
“
The roo m was kept like th i s Rok e s m i th said Mr Bo ffi n , , .
,
against the son s return In Short everything in the house

’
.
,
was kept exactly as it came to u s for h i m to see and ,
approve Even n o w nothing is changed but our own room

.
below stairs that you have j ust left When the son came
-
.
home for the last time in his l ife and for the last time i n ,
h is life saw his father it was most likely in this room that
,
they met .
”
'
As the Secretary looked all r o u n d i t his eye rested on a ,
side door in a corner .
“
Another staircase said Mr Boffin unlocking the door,
.
, ,
leading do wn into the yard We ll go down this way as .

’
,
’
y o u may like to see the yard and it s all in the road ,

.
When the son was a little child it was up and down these ,
stairs that he mostly came and went to his father He was .
’
very ti m id of his father I ve seen him sit on these stairs i n
.
,
his shy way poor child many a time Me and Mrs Boffi n
, , . .
have comforte d him Sitting with his little book on these

,
stairs O ften .
”
“
Ah And h i s poor sister too said Mrs Boffin And , . .
’
here s the sunny place on the white wall where they one day
measured one another Their own little hands W rote up .
their names here only with a pencil ; but the names are
,
here still and the poor dears gone for ever

,
.
”
“
We must take care of the names old lady said Mr , ,
.
2 2 2 O UR MUTU A L FRIEND
can be best dispo sed of and likewise that they take no harm ,
by standing where they do You ll look in to morrow wi l l .

’
-
,
you be so kind
“
Every day And the s o o ne r I can get you into yo u r new
.
-
house complete the better y o u wil l b e pleased sir

, , ,
“
Well it ain t that I m in a mortal hurry s a id Mr
,
’ ’
,
”
.
Bo ffin only when you d o pay people for looking alive it s ’

, ,
as well to know t hat they a r e looking alive Ain t that .

’
your opinion
Q u ite replied the Secretary ; and so withdrew .
Now said Mr Bo ffin to himself subsidin g into his

,
”
.
,
regular series O f turns in the yard “

if I can make it c om ,
for ta b l e with W e gg my a ffairs will be going smooth

”
, .
The man of low cunning had of cou rse acqui red a mastery , ,
over the man of high simplicity The mean man had of .

,
course got the better O f the generous man How long such
, .
conquests last is another matter ; that they are achieved is

every day experience not even to be flo u rished away by
-
,
Podsnappery itself The undesigning Bo ffin had become so

.
far immeshed by the wily W e gg that his min d misgave h i m

he was a very designing man indeed in purposi ng to do
more for W e gg It seemed to him (SO skilful was W e gg)
.
that he was plotting darkly when he was contriving to d o ,
the very thing that W e gg was plotting to get him to do

'
And thus while he was mentally turning the k i ndest of

,
kind faces on W e g g this m orning he was not absolutely sure ,
but that he might somehow deserve the charge of turning

his back on hi m .
F or these reasons Mr Bo ffin passe d but anxious hours until.
evening came and with it Mr W e g g stumping leisurely to

, .
,
the Roman Empire At about this period Mr Bo ffin had . .
become profoundly interested in the fortunes of a great

military leader known to him as Bu l ly Sawyers but perhaps ,
better known to fame and easier of identi fication by the

classical student under the less Britannic name of Belisarius
,
.
Even this general s career paled in interest for Mr Boffi n

’
.
before the clearing O f his conscience with W e gg and h ence ,
when that literary gentleman had according to custom eaten

and drunk until he was all aglow and when he took up his ,
“
book with the usual chirping introdu ction And now Mr , , .
Bo ffin sir we ll decline and we ll fall Mr Bo ffin stopped h i m

’ ’
. .
, ,
“
You remember W e g g when I first told you that I
, ,
wanted to make a sort of offer to you

A NOT H ER O FFE R FO R S I L A S W EG G 22 3
Let me get on my considering cap sir repli ed that , ,
gentleman turni ng the O pen book face downward

,
When .
you first told me that you wanted to make a sor t of offer to

me Now let me th i nk (as if there were the least necessity ) -
“
Yes to b e sure I d o Mr Bo ffin
,
It was at my corner , . . .
To b e sure it was ! You had first asked me whether I liked

you r name and Candour had co mpelled a reply in the
,
negative case I li ttle thought then sir how familiar that

.
, ,
name would come to be !

“
I hope it wi l l be more famil iar still W e g g , .
DO you Mr Bo ffin ? Much obliged to you I m sure

,
.
,
’
.
Is it your pleasu re Si r that we decline and we fall ,

with
,
a feint of takin g up the book .
Not j ust yet awhile W e gg In fact I have got another , .

,
”
O ffer t o make you .
Mr W e gg (who h a d had n ot h ing else in his m i nd for

.
several nigh ts ) took O ff his specta cles with an air of bland

su rprise .
“
And I hope you ll li ke it W e gg ’
,
.
”
Th ank you sir returned that reticent i ndividual , ,
I .
h ope it may prove so On all accounts I am sure ” (This .

,
.
.
,
as a philanthropic aspiration ) .
“
What do y o u thin k said Mr Bofli n of not keeping a ,
”
.
,
stall W e gg
,
“
I think Si r replied W e gg that I Should lik e to be
,
“
, ,
shown the gentleman prepared to make it worth m y whil e

Here he is said Mr Bo ffin ,
”
. .
Mr W e gg was going to say My Benefactor and had said

.
, ,
My Bene when a grandiloquent change came over him

,
.
NO Mr Boffin not you Si r Anybody but you Do

,
.
, , . .
not fear Mr Boffin that I Shall contaminate the premises

,
.
,
which your gold has bought with m y lowly pur suits I am ,

.
aware sir that it would not become me to carry on my little

, ,
tra ffic under the win dows of your man sion I have already .
thought of that and taken my measures NO need to b e ,

.
bought out sir Would Stepney Fi elds be con sidered i n

,
.
tru s i v e If not remote enough I can go remoter In the ,

.
words of the poet s song which I do not qu ite rememb er ’
‘
Th r own o n th e wi d e wo r ld d o om d to wa n d e r a n d r oa m ,
’
B e r e ft o f m y p a re n ts b e r e ft o f a h o m e , ,
A s t r a n ge r t o s o m e t h i n g a n d wh a t s h i s n a m e j o y ’
B e h old l i ttl e E d m u n d th e p oo r Pe a s a n t b o y .
’
An d equally said Mr W e gg repairing the want of direct

, .
,
22 4 OU R MUTU A L FRI END
“
application in the last lin e behold myself on a Similar ,
footing ! ”
Now W e gg W e gg W e gg remonstrated the excellent

, , , ,
Bo ffin . You are too sensitive .

”
“
I kno w I am sir returned W e gg with obstinate , ,
”
,
“
magnanimity I am acquainted with my faults I always
. .
was from a child too sensitive

, ,
.
”
“ “ ”
But listen pursued the Golden Dustman ; hear me out
, ,
W e gg You have taken it into your head that I mean to

.
”
pension you o ff .
“
True sir returned W e g g still with an obstinate mag
, ,
”
,
“
n a n i m i ty I am acquainted with my faults Far be it .
from me to deny them I h ave taken it i nto my head . .
“
But I d on t mean it ’
The assurance seemed hardly as comforting to Mr W e gg as

.
Mr Boffin intended it to be Indeed an appreciable elonga

. .
,
tion of his visage might have been O bserved as he replied

Don t you indeed Si r ?
’
, ,
NO pursued Mr Boffin ; because that would express

,
” “
.
,
as I understand it that you were not going to do anything ,
to deserve your money But you are you are . .
That sir replied Mr W e gg cheering up bravely

, ,
” “
is .
, ,
quite another pair of shoes Now my independence as a man .
is again elevated Now I no l onger .
‘
W eep fo r th e h ou r ,
W h en t o Boffi n s B ower,
’
Th e Lor d o f th e v a ll e y wi th O ffe rs c a m e ;
N e i the r d oe s th e m oo n h i d e her l i gh t
Fro m th e h e a v e n s to n i gh t, -
An d we e p b e h i n d h er c l ou d s o e r a n y i n d i vi d u al i n th e pres en t
’
C om p a n y s s h a m e ’ ’
.
Please to proceed Mr Boffin , . .
Thank ee W e gg both for your confidence in me and for

’
, ,
your frequent dropping into poetr y ; both of which is

friendly Well then ; my i dea is that you should give u p
.
, ,
your stall and that I should put you into the Bower here
, ,
’
to keep it for us It s a pleasant spot and a man with coals .
and candles a n d a pound a week might be in clover here .

”
Hem Would that man sir— we will say that man for , ,
the purposes of a r g u e y m e n t ; Mr W e gg made a smiling ”

.
demonstration of great perspicuity here ; would that man ,
sir be exp e cted to throw any other capacity in or would

, ,
any other capacity be considered extra ? Now let u s (fo the

y
2 2 6 O UR M UTU A L FRIEND
out of the co m mo n course even thou gh she had n ot also ,
called to him in an agitated tone .
Mr Bo ffin hurried out and foun d her on the dark staircase

.
, ,
panting with a lighted candle in her hand

, .
“ ’
What s the matter my dear ,
I don t know ; I don t kno w ; but I wish you d come

’ ’ ’
”
u p stairs
-
.
Much surprised Mr Bo ffin went up s tairs and accompanied ,

.
Mrs Boffi n into their own room : a sec ond large room on the
.
same floor as the room in which the late proprie tor had died .
Mr Bo ffin looked all roun d him and saw nothing more u n

.
,
us u al than various articles of folded linen on a large chest ,
which Mrs Boffin had been sorti ng . .
“
What is it my dear ? Why you re frightened ! You, ,
’
frightened
I am not one O f that sort certainly said Mrs Bo ffin as ,
.
Sh e sat down in a chair to recover herself and took her ,

“
husband s arm but it s very strange
’ ’
“
What is my dear ? ,
No ddy the faces of the O l d man and the two children

,
are all over the house to night -

.
“
My dear ! exclaimed Mr Bo ffin But not witho ut a
”
. .
certain uncomfortable sensation gliding down his back .
”
I know it must sound foolish and yet it is so ,
.
Where did you think you saw them

I don t know that I think I saw them anywhere I felt
’
.
them .
“
T ou ched them
No F elt them in the air I was sorting those things on
. .
the chest and not thinking of the O l d man or the children

, ,
but singing to myself when all i n a moment I felt there ,

”
was a face growing out of the dark .
“
What face asked her husband lookin g about him ,
.
F or a moment it was the O l d man s and then it got ’
younger F or a moment it was both the children s and

.
’
then it got older F or a moment it was a strange face and .

,
”
then it was all the faces .
“
And then it was gone
Yes and then it was gone .
W h e r e we r e you then old lady ,
Here at the chest Well I got the better of it and

,
.
, ,
‘
went on sorting and went on singing to myself Lor I
says I ll think of something else —something comfortable
.
,
‘ ’
,
C AN THE B OWER BE H A UNTED ? 2 2 7
’
and p u t it out of my head SO I thought of the new house .
and Miss Bella Wilfer and was thinking at a great rate ,
with that sheet there in my hand when a ll of a s ri d d e n the , , ,
faces seemed to be hidden in among the folds of it and I let ,

”
it d rop .
As it stil l lay on the floor where it had fallen Mr Bo ffin ,

.
pi c k e d i t up and laid it on the chest

'
“
And then you ran down stairs -
’
No I thought I d try another room and Shake it O ff
.
,
.
‘
I says to myself I ll go and walk slowly u p and down the
,
’
O ld man s room three ti m es from end to end and then I

’
, ,
shall have conquere d i t I went in with the candle in my .
hand but the moment I came near the bed the air got
, ,
thick with them .

”
“
With the faces
Yes and I even felt they were in the dark behind the
,
S ide do or and on the little staircase floating away into th e

-
, ,
yard Then I ca l led you

. .
”
Mr Bo ffin lost in amazement looked at Mrs Bo fli n Mrs

.
, , . . .
Bo ffin lost in her own fluttered inability to make this out

, ,
looked at Mr Bo ffin . .
“ “
I thi nk my dear said th e Golden Dustman
,
I ll at , ,
’
once get rid of W e gg for the night becau se he s coming ,

’
to inhabit the Bower and it might be put into his head ,

’
or somebody else s if he heard this and it got about , ,
that the house is h a u nted Whereas we know better . .
’
Don t we ?
“
I never had the feeling in the house before s aid Mrs ,
.
“
Bo ffin ; and I have been about it alone at all hours of the
night I have been in the house when Death was in it an d
.
,
I have been in the house when Murder was a new part of its
adventures and I never had a fright in it yet
, .
”
“ ’
And won t again my dear said Mr Boffin Depend , ,
”
. .
upon it it comes of thinking an d dwelling on that dark

,
Sp ot
”
.
“
Yes but why didn t it come before asked Mrs Bo ffin ’
. .
This draft on Mr Boffin s philosophy could only be met by .

’
that gentleman with the remark that everything that is at

all must begin at s ome time Then tucking his wife s arm
, .
,
’
under his own that she might not be left by herself to be

,
troubled again he descended to release W e g g Who bein g

, .
,
something drowsy after his plentiful repast and constitution ,
ally o f a shirk i ng temperament was well enough pleased to ,

stump away without doing what he had come to do, and was
,
paid for doing .
Mr Bo ffin then put on his hat and Mrs Boffin her shawl
.
,
.
and the pair further provi ded with a bunch of keys and a
,
lighted lantern went all over the dismal house — dismal every
,
where but in their own two rooms — from cellar t o cock loft -
.
Not resting satisfied with givi ng that much chase to Mrs .
B o ffin s fancies they pursued them into the yard and out
’
buildings and under the Mounds And setti ng the lantern

, .
,
when all was done at the foot Of one of the Mounds they , ,
comfortably trotted to and fr o for an evenin g w a lk to the ,
en d that the murky cobwebs in Mrs Bo ffin s brain might be .

’
blown away .
There my dear ! said Mr Boffin when they came in to

,
”
.
“
supper That was the treatment you see Completely
.
,
.
worked rou nd haven t you ,

“
Yes deary said Mrs Boffin laying aside her shawl
, ,
.
,
.
“ ’
I m not nervous any more I m not a bit troubled .
’
now I d go anywhere about the house the same as ever

.
’
.
But
“
Eh said Mr Bo ffin . .
But I ve only to shut my eyes ’

.
And what then

Why then s a i d Mr s Boffin speaking with her eyes
, , .
,
closed and her left han d thoughtfully touching her brow

, ,
“ ’
then there they are ! The old man s face and it gets
, ,
’
younger The two children s faces and they get O lder A
.
, .
’ ”
face that I don t know And then all the faces ! .
’
Open i ng her eyes again and seeing her husband s face ,
across the table she leaned forward to give it a pat on the

,
cheek and sat down to supper, declaring it to be the best

,
face in the world .

2 30 OU R MUTU A L F RIE ND
on his manner there was a shadow equally i n d e fin a b l e It was .
not that he was embarrassed as on that first night with the ,
Wilfer family he was habitually unembarrassed now and yet ,
the something remained It was not that his manner was .
bad as on that occasion ; it was now very good as being

, ,
modest gracious and ready Yet the something never left

, , .
it It has been written of men who have undergone a cruel

.
captivity or who have passed through a terrible strait or

, ,
who in self preservation have killed a defenceless fellow

-
creature that the record thereof has never faded from their
,
countenances until they died Was there any such record .
here ?
He established a temporary O ffice for himself in the new
house and all went well under his han d with one singular
, ,
exception He manifestly obj ected to communicate with Mr

. .
Bo fli n s solicito r Two or three times when there was some

’
.
,
slight occasion for his doing SO he transferred the task to ,
Mr Bo fli n ; and his evasion O f it soon became SO cu riously

.
apparent that M r Bo ffin Spoke to him on the s u bj ect of his

, .
reluctance .
“
It is so the Secretary admitted I would rather not
, . .
Had he any personal O bj ection to Mr L ightwood .
’
I don t know him .
”
Had he su ffered from law suits ? -
“ ”
Not more than other men was his Short answer ,
.
Was he prej u diced against the race of lawyers

No But while I am in your employment sir I would
.
, ,
rather be excused from going between the lawyer and the

client Of course if you press it Mr Bo ffin I am ready to
.
,
.
,
comply B u t I Should t ak e it as a great favour if you woul d

.
not press it wi thout urgent occasion .

”
Now it could not be said that there wa s urgent occasion ,
for Lightwood retained no other a ffairs in his hands than

such as still lingered and languished about the undiscovered
criminal and such as arose out of the pu rchase of the house
,
.
Many other matters that might have travelled to him now ,
stopped short at the Secretary under whose administration ,
they were far m ore expeditiously and satisfactorily disposed

of than they would have been if they had got into Young
Blight s domain This the Golden Dustman quite understood
’
. .
Even the matter immediately in hand was of very little

’
moment as requ iring personal appearance on the Secretary s
part for it amounted to no more than this
,
The death of -
THE SE C RET A R Y B E C OM ES M Y STERIOU S 23 1
He xa m rendering the sweat of the honest man s brow ’
unprofitable the honest man had s h u ffii n gl y declined to

,
moisten hi s brow for nothing with that severe exert ion which ,
is k nown in legal circles as swearing your way through a

stone wall Consequently that new light had gone Sputter
.
,
ing out But the airing of the old facts h a d led some one
.
concerned to suggest that it would be well before they were

reconsigned to their gloomy shelf— n ow probably for ever
to induce or compel that Mr Juli us Handford to reappear .
and be questioned And all traces O f Mr Julius Handford

. .
bein g lost Lightwood now referred to his client for authority

,
to seek him through public advertisement .
“
Does your obj ection go to writing to Lightwood ,
Ro k e s m i th
“
Not in the leas t sir , .
Then perhaps you ll write h i m a line and say he is free

’
,
’
to do what h e likes I don t think it promises . .
”
’
I don t think it promises said the Secretary , .
Still he may d o what he likes

, .
I wi ll write immediately Let me thank you for so .
considerately yielding to my disincli nation It may seem less .
unreasonable if I avow to you that alth ough I don t know

,
’
Mr Lightwood I have a disagreeable association connected

.
,
with him It i s not his fault he is not at a l l to blame for

.
it and does not even know my name

,
.
”
M r Boffin dismissed the m a tte r wi th a nod or two The

. .
letter was written and next day Mr Juli u s Handford was

, .
adver tised for He was requested to place himself in com

.
m u n i c a ti o n with Mr Mortimer Lightwood as a possible .

,
means of furthering the ends of j ustice and a reward was ,
O ffered to any one acquainted with his W hereabout who wou ld
communicate the same to the said Mr Mortimer Lightwood .
at hi s Office in the Temple Every day for Si x weeks t h is .
advertisement appeared at the head of all the newspapers ,
and every day for six weeks the Secretary when he saw it , ,
said to himself in the tone in which he had said to his

,
.
’
employer I don t think it promises
,
Among his first occupations the pursuit of that O rph an

wanted by Mrs Bo ffin h eld a conspicu ous place F rom the
. .
earliest moment of his engagement h e showed a particular

desire to please her and knowing her to have this obj ect at
,
heart he followed it up with u nwearying alacrity and

,
i nterest .
2
Mr and Mrs Mil v e y had found their search a difficult o n e

. . .
Either an eligible orphan was of the wrong sex (which almost

always happened ) or was too old or too young or too sickly , , ,
or too dirty or t oo much accustomed to the streets or too

, ,
li kely to run away or it was found impossible to co mplete

the philanthropic transaction without buying the orphan .
F or the instant it became known that anybo dy wanted the

orphan up started some affectionate relative of the orphan
,
’
who put a price upon the orphan s head The suddenness .
of an orphan s rise in the market was not to be paralleled by

’
the maddest records of the Stock Exchange He would be at .
five thousand per cent discount out at nurse making a mud .
pie at nine in the morning and (being inquired for) would ,
go up to five thousand per cent premium before noon The . .
market was rigged in various artful ways Counterfeit .
stock got into circulation Parents boldly represe nted them .
selves as dead and brought their orphans with th e m ,

.
Genuine orphan stock was surreptitiously withdrawn from -
the market It being announced by emissaries posted for

the purpose that Mr and Mrs Mil v e y were coming down
.
,
. .
,
the court orphan scrip would be in stantly c oncealed and

, ,
production refused save on a condition usually stated by the ,

“
brokers as a gallon of beer Likewise fluctuations of a .
”
,
wild and South Sea nature were occasioned by orphan holders

- -
keeping back and then rushing into the market a d ozen

,
together But the uniform principle at the root of all these

.
variou s operations was bargain and sale : and that principle

could not be recognised by Mr and Mrs Mil ve y . . .
At length tidings were received by the Reverend F rank of

a charming orphan to be found at Brentford One of the .
deceased parents (late his parishioners) had a poor widowed

grandmother in that agreeable town and she Mrs Betty , , .
Higden had carried o ff the orphan with maternal care but

, ,
could not a fford to keep him .
The Secretary proposed to Mrs Bo ffin either to go down .

,
himself and take a preliminary survey of this orphan or to ,
drive her down that she might at once form her own opinion
, .
Mrs Bo ffin preferring the l atter course they set off one
.
’
,
morning in a hired phaeton conveying the hamme r headed ,

-
young man behind them .
The a b o d e o f Mrs Betty Higden was not easy to find .

,
lying in such complicated back se ttlements of mu ddy Brent

ford that they left their equipage at the sign o f The Three
MRS . B E TTY H I G D E N AT H O M E 2
35
Magpies and went in search of it on foot After many
,
.
inqu iries and defeats there was pointed out to them in a ,
lane a very small cottage residence with a board across the

, ,
open doorway hooked on to which board by the armpits

,
was a young gentleman of tender years an gling for mu d ,
with a headless wooden horse and line In this young .
sportsman distinguished by a crisply curling auburn head

,
and a blu ff countenance the Sec retary descried the orphan ,

.
It unfortunately happened as they quickened their pace ,
that the orphan lost to considerations of person a l safety in

,
the ardour of the moment overbalanced himself and toppled ,
into the street Being an orphan of a chubby conformation

.
,
h e then took to rolling and had rolled into th e gutter before ,
they could come up F rom the gutter he was rescued by

.
J ohn Rok e s m i th an d thus the first meeting with Mrs

, .
Higden was inaugurated by the awkward circumstance of

their being in possession —one would say at first sight
u nlawful possession —o f the orphan upside down and purple
in the countenance The board across the doorway too acting
.
,
as a trap equally for the feet of Mrs Higden coming out .

,
and the feet of Mrs Bo fii n an d John Ro k es m i th going i n

.
,
greatly increased the di fficulty of the situation : to which

the cries of the orphan imparted a lugubrious and i n human
character .
At first it was impossible to explain on account of th e

, ,
’ “
orphan s holding his breath a most terrific proceeding ,
superinducing in the orphan lead colour rig idity and a d eadly

, ,
-
silence compared with which his cries were music yielding

,
the height of enj oyment But as he gradually recovered .

,
Mrs Bofii n gradually introduced herself and smilin g peace

.
,
was gradually wooed back to Mrs Betty Higden s h ome .

’
.
It was then perceived to be a small home with a large

mangle in it at the handle of which machine stood a very
,
long boy with a very little head and an O pen mouth of

, ,
disproportionate capacity that seemed to assist his eyes in

staring at the visitors In a corner below the mangle on .
,
a couple of stools sat two very littl e chil dren : a boy and
,
a girl and when the very long boy in an interval of staring , ,
took a turn at the mangle it was alarming to see how it ,
lunged itself at those two innocents like a catapult designed ,
for their destruction harmlessly retirin g when within an

,
inch of their heads Th e room was clean and neat It had

. .
a brick floor and a window of diamond panes and a flou n c e

, ,
2
3 6 OUR M U TU A L FRIEND
hanging below the chimney piece and strings n ailed from -

,
bottom to top outside the window on which scarlet beans -
were to grow in the com i ng season if the F ates were pro .
pitious However propitiou s they might have been in the

.
,
s e a s o n s th a t were gone to Betty Higden in the matter of ,
beans they had not been very favourable in the matter of

,
coins for it was easy to see that she was poor .
She was one of those old women was Mrs Betty Higden ,
.
,
who by dint of an indomitable purpose and a strong consti

tu ti o n fight out many years though each year has come wi th ,
its new knock down blows fresh to the fight again st her
-
,
wearied by it ; an active ol d woman with a bright dark eye ,
and a resolute face yet quite a tender creature too ; not a ,
logically reasonin g woman but God is good and hearts may

-
, ,
count in Heaven as high as heads .
“
Yes sure ! said she when the bus i ness was opened
”
Mrs Mil v e y h ad the kindness to write t o me ma am and

, , ,
’
.
, ,
I got Sloppy to read it It was a pretty lette r But she s ’

. .
”
an affable lady .
The visitors glanced at the long boy who seemed to indi ,
cate by a broader stare of his mouth and eyes that in him

Sloppy stood confessed .
“
For I ain t you must know said Betty
’
,
much of a , ,
hand at reading writing hand though I can read my Bible -

,
and most pri nt An d I do love a newspaper You mightn t

. .
’
th i nk it but Sloppy is a beautifu l reader of a newspaper

, .
He do the Police in d ifie r e n t voices .

”
The visitors again considered it a point of politeness to look

at Sloppy who looking at them suddenly threw back his
, , ,
head extended his mouth to its utmost width and la ughed

, ,
loud an d long At t h is the two innocents with their brains

.
,
in that apparent danger laughed and Mrs Higden laughed , ,

.
,
and the orphan laughed and then the v isitors lau ghed ,
.
Which was more cheerful than intelligible .
Then Sloppy seeming to be sei zed with an industrious

mania or fury turned to at the mangle and i mpelled it at
, ,
the heads of the i nnocents with such a creaking and rumbling ,
that Mrs Higden stopped him

. .
“
The gentlefolks can t hear themselves speak Sloppy ’
,
.
Bide a bit bide a bit ! ,

”
Is that the dear child in your lap ? said Mrs Boffin . .
Yes ma am this is Johnny

,
’
,
.
”
Johnny too ! cried Mrs Boffin turning to the Secre

,
”
.
,
2
3 8 OUR MUTU A L F RIEND
and set a light to us all where we lie and let us a ll blaz e ,
away with the house into a heap of cinders sooner than ,
move a corpse of us there

A surprising spirit in this lonely woman after so many
years of hard working and hard liv ing my L ords and ,
Gentlemen and Ho nou rable Boards ! What is it that we

call it in our grandiose speeches British independence ,
rather perverted Is that or something like it, the ring of ,
the cant ?
“
Do I never read in the newspapers said the dame , ,
fondling the child God help me and the like of me — how

the worn out people that do come down to that get driven
-
,
fro m post to pillar and pillar to post a purpose to tire

, ,
-
them out ! Do I never read how they are put off put
put o ff—h o w they are gru dged gru dged grudged the
,
o ff, , ,
shelter or the doctor or the drop of physic or the bit of

, , ,
bread Do I never read how they grow heartsick of it and

give it up after having let themselves drop so low and how
, ,
they after all die out fo r want of help Then I say I hope ,
I can die as well as another and I ll die without that disgrace

’ ”
.
,
Absolutely i mpossible my L ords and Gentlemen and ,
Honourable Boards by any stretch of legisl ative wisdom to

,
set these perverse people right in their logic

“ ”
Johnny my pretty continued old B etty caressing the
, , ,
“
child and rather mourning over it than speaking to it your
, ,
old Granny Betty is nigher fourscore year than threescore

and ten She never begged nor had a penny of th e Union
.
money in all her life She paid scot and she paid lot when
.
she had money to pay she worked when she could and she ,
starved when she mu st You pray that your Granny may .
have strength enough left her at the last (she s strong for ’
an old one Johnny) to get up from her bed and run an d

, ,
hide herself and s wo wn to death in a hole sooner than fall

, ,
into the hands of those Cruel Jacks we read of that dodge ,
and drive and worry and weary and scorn and shame the
, , ,
”
decent poor .
A bril liant success my Lords and Gentlemen and Honour

,
able Boards to hav e brought it to this in the minds of the

,
best of the poor ! Under submission might it be worth

thinking of at any odd time ,
The fright and abhorrence that Mrs Betty Higden smo othed .
ou t of her strong face as she ended this diversion showed ,
how seriously she had meant it .

HI STO RY
’
SLO PPY S 2 39
An d does he work for you ? asked the Secretary g ently ,
bringing the discourse back to Master o r Mister Sloppy ’
“
Yes said Betty with a good humoured smile and n od
,
-
of the head And well too . .
Does he live here

He lives more here than anywhere He was thought .
to be no better than a Natural and first come to me as a ,
Minder I made interest with Mr Blogg the Beadle to have

. .
him as a Min der seein g him by chance u p at church and, ,
think i ng I might d o somethin g with him F or he was .
”
a weak rickety c r e e tu r then .
Is he called by his right name

‘
Why you see speaking quite correctly he has no right
, , ,
name I always understood he took his name from bein g

.
”
found on a Sloppy ni ght .
He seems an amiable fellow .
’
Bless you sir there s not a bit of him returned Betty
, , , ,
’
that s not amiable So you may judge how amiable he is .
,
”
by run ni ng your eye along his heighth .
Of an ungai nly make was Sloppy Too much of h i m .
longwise too little of hi m broadwise and t o o many sharp

, ,
angles of him angle wise One of those shambling male -

.
human creature s born to be indiscreetly candid in the revela

tion of buttons every button he h a d about him glaring at
the public to a quite preternatural extent A considerable .
capital of knee and elbow and wrist and ankle had Sloppy ,
and he d id n t know how t0 d i s p o s e of it to the best a d v a n

’ “
tage but was always investing it in wrong sec urities and so

, ,
getting himself into embarrassed circumstances F ull Private .

-
Number One in the Awkward Squad of the rank and file

of life was Sloppy and yet had his glimmering notions of ,
standing true to the Colours .
An d now, said Mrs Bofii n concernin g J ohnny

”
.
,
.
As Johnny with his chin tucked in and his lips pouting

, ,
’
reclined in Betty s lap con cent rating his blue eyes on the ,
visitors and shading them from obse r vation with a dimpled

arm old Betty took one of his fresh fat hands i n her withered
,
right and fell to gently beating it on her withered left

, .
’
Yes ma am Concerni n g Johnny
,
. .
”
If you trust the dear chil d to me said Mrs Boffin with ,

”
.
,
“
a face in viting trust he shall have the best of homes the , ,
best of care the best of education the best of friends

, , .
Please God I will be a true good mother to h im

,
2 0
4 O UR MUTUAL F RI E ND
I am thankful to you , ma am , an d the dear child wo uld
’
be thankful if he was old enough to understand Still .
lightly beating the little hand upon her own I wouldn t .

’
stand in the dear child s light not if I had all my life before ’
me instead of a very little of it But I hope you won t

,
.
’
take it ill that I cleave to the child closer than words can
”
tell for he s the last livi ng thing left me
’
.
Take it ill my dear soul ? Is it likely ? And you so

,
tender of him as to bring him home here

“
I have seen said Betty still with that light beat upon
,
”
,
“
her hard rough hand so many of them on my lap And , .
they are all gone but this one ! I am ashamed to seem so

selfish but I don t really mean it It ll be the making of
,
’
.
’
his fortune and he ll be a gentleman when I am dead

,
’
I .
I — don t know what comes over me I — try against it

’
. .
Don t notice me !
’
The light beat stopped the resolute ,
m outh gave way and the fine strong old face broke up into
,
weakness and tears .
Now greatly to the relief of the visitors the emotional

, ,
Sloppy no sooner beheld his patroness i n this condition than , ,
throwing back his head and throwing open his mouth he ,
lifted up his voice and bellowed This alarmi ng note of .
something wrong instantly terrified Toddles and Poddles who ,
were no sooner heard to r oa r s u r pr i s i n g l y than Johnny , ,
curving himself the wrong way and str i k ing out at Mrs .
Bo ffin with a pair of indifferent shoes became a prey t o ,
despair The absurdity of the situation put its pathos to the

.
rout M rs Betty Higden was herself in a moment and

. .
,
brought them all to order with that speed that Sloppy , ,
stopping short in a polysyllabic bellow transferred his energy ,
to the mangle and had taken several penitential turns before

,
he could be stopped .
“
There th ere there ! said Mrs Boffin almost regarding
, ,
”
.
,
“
her kind self as the most ruthless of women Nothing is .
going to be done Nobody need be frightened We re all

. .
’
comfortabl e ; ain t we Mrs Higden ? ’
,
.
Sure and certa i n we are returned Betty ,

”
.
An d there really is no hurry y o u know said Mrs , , .
Bo ffin in a l ower voice

,
“
Take time to think of it my .
,
good creature
“
I
’
Don t you fear m e no more ma am said Betty ; ,
’
thought of it for good yesterday I don t know what come .

’
over me j ust n o w but it ll never come again

,
’
.
”
2
4
’
Betty put her visitor s hand to her lips in acknowledgment ,
o f the delicate answer Wo nderfu lly upright her figure was .

,
and wonderfully self reliant her look as standing facing her-

, ,
visitor she explained herself further

, .
“
If I could have kept the dear child W ithout the dread ,
that s always upon me of his coming to that fate I have

’
spoken of I could never have parted with him even to you

, , .
F or I love him I love him I love h i m ,

I love my husband ,
long dead and gone in him ; I love my children dead and ,
gone in him ; I love my young a nd hopeful days dead and

,
gone in him I couldn t sell that love and look you in your
,
.
’
bright kind fa c e It s a free gift I am in want of nothin g

.
’
. .
When my strength fails me if I can but die out quick and ,
quiet I shall be quite content I have stood between my

, .
dead and that shame I have spoken of and it has been kept ,
o ff from every one of them Sewed into my gown with her .

,
hand upon her breast is just enough to lay me in the grave , .
’
Only see that it s rightly spent so as I may rest free to the
“
last from that c r u elty an d disgrace and you ll have done ,

’
much more tha n a little thing for me and all that in this ,
”
present world my heart is set upon .
Mrs Betty Higden s visitor pressed her hand There was

.
'
’
.
no m o r e b r e a k i n g up of the strong old face into weakness .
My Lords and Gentlemen and Honourable Boards it really ,
was as composed as our own faces an d almost as dignified , .
And now Johnny was to be inveigled i nto occupying a

tempo rary position on Mrs Bo ffin s lap It was not until he .
’
.
had been piqued into competition with the two diminutive

Minders by seeing them successively raised to that post and
,
retire from it without i nj ury that he could be by any means ,

’
induced to leave Mrs Betty Higden s skirts towards which .
he exhibited even when i n Mrs Boffin s embrace strong

,
.
’
yearnings spiritual and bodily ; th e former expressed in a

,
very gloomy visage the latter in extended arms However

,
.
,
a general description of the toy wonders lurking in Mrs -

.
Bo ffin s house so far conciliated this worldly minded orphan

’
-
as to ind u ce him to stare at her frowningly wi th a fist in ,
his mouth and even at length to chuckle when a richly

,
caparisoned horse on wheels with a mir aculous gift of ,
cantering to cake shops was mentioned This sound being

-
, .
taken up by the Minders swelled into a rapturous trio which ,
gave general satisfaction .
So the interview was considered very successful and Mrs ,

.
A M ESS A G E EO R MI s s WILFER 2
43
Bo ffin was pleased and all were satisfied No t least of all ,
.
,
Sloppy who undertook to co ndu ct the visitors back by the

,
best way to The Three Magpies an d whom the h ammer ,
headed young man mu ch despised .
This piece of business thus put in train the Secretary drove ,
Mrs Boffin back to the Bower and found employment for h i m

.
,
self a t the new house until evening Whether when evening .

,
came he took a way to his lodgings that led through fields

, ,
with any design of finding Miss B ella Wilfer in those fields ,
is not so certain as that she regularly walke d there at that

hou r .
And moreover it is certain that there she was

, , .
No longer in mourni n g Miss B ella was dressed in as pretty ,
colours as she coul d mu ster There is no denying that she .
was as pretty as they and that she and the colours went ,
very prettily together She was reading as she walked and .

,
of course it is to be inferred from her sh owing no k n owle d ge ,
of Mr Rok e s m i th s approach that she did n ot know he wa s

.
’
approaching .
Eh ? said Miss Bella raising her eyes from her book

”
,
“
when he stopped before her Oh it s you .
’
.
”
‘
Only I A fine evening l .
‘
Is it ? said Bella looking coldly round I su ppose it , .
is now you mention it I have not been thinking of the

, .
evening .
”
So intent upon your book

Ye e e s
”
replied Bella with a drawl of indifference
- -
, , .
A love story Miss W il fer ,
Oh dear no or I shouldn t be reading it ,

It s more ’
.
’
about money than anything else .
“
An d does it say that money is better than an ythi n g ?
“
Upon m y word returned Bella I forget what it says , , ,
but you can find out for yourself if you like Mr Rok e s m i th , ,
. .
’
I don t want it any more ”
The Secretary took the book —she had fluttered the leaves
.
as if it were a fan — and w a lked beside her .
“
I am charged with a message for you Miss Wilfer ,
.
”
Impossible I think ! said Bella with another drawl
, ,
.
F rom Mrs Bo ffin She desired me to assu re y o u of the

. .
pleasure she has in finding that she will be ready to receive

you in anoth er week or two at furthest .
Bella turned her head towards h im with her prettily ,
insolent eyebrows raised and her eyelids droopi n g As , .

2 44 O UR MUT U A L FRIEND
“
much as to say How did you come by the message,
,
pray ?
“
I have been waiting for an opportunity of tel l ing you
that I am Mr Bo ffin s Secretary .
’
.
”
“
“
I am as wise as ever said Miss Bella l oftily
”
for I , , ,
don t know what a Secretary is Not that i t sign i fies

’
. .
Not at all .
”
A covert glance at her face as he walked beside her , ,
showed him that she had not expected his ready assent to
that proposition .
“
Then are you going to be always there Mr Rok es m i th ,
.
she inquired as if that would be a drawback

,
.
“
Al ways ? No Very much there ? Yes . .
Dear me drawled Bella in a tone of m o r ti fic a ti on .
But my position there as Secretary will be very d ifferent

fro m yours as g u est You will know little or nothing about
.
me I shall transact the business ; you will transact the

.
pleasure I shall have my salary to earn ; you will have

.
”
nothing to do but to enj oy and attract .
“ ”
Attract sir ? said Bella again with her eyebrows
, ,
raised and her eyelids drooping

,
I don t u nderstand .
’
”
on .
Without replying on this point Mr Rok e s m i th went on , . .
“
Excuse me ; when I first saw you in your black
dress
“
( There
’
was Miss Bella s mental exclamation What . .
did I say to them at home Everybody noticed that

ridiculous mourning
“
When I first saw you in your black dress I was at a ,
loss to account for that distinction between yourself and

your family I hope it was not i mpertinent to speculate
.
upon it ?
“
I hope not I am sure said Miss Bella haughtily
, , , .
But you ought to know best how you speculated upon it .
Mr Ro ke s m i th inclined his head in a deprecatory manner

.
,
and went on .
Since I have been entrusted with Mr Bofii n s a ffairs .

’
I have necessarily co me to understand the little mystery I .
venture to remark that I feel persuaded that much of your

loss may be repa i red I speak of course merely of wealth .
, , ,
Miss Wilfer The loss of a perfect stranger, whose worth

.
,
or worthlessness I cannot estimate — nor you either— is

,
beside th e question But this excellent gentleman a n d lady

.
2 46 OU R M UTU AL FRIEN D
“
Here Miss Bella o ffered the remonstrance : Don t tal k ’
nonsense ma please
, , .
”
“ ”
Peace ! said Mrs Wil fer . .
N 0 ma I am not going to be made so absurd Inter

, , .
posing objections
“ ”
I say repeated Mrs Wilfer with a vast access of
, .
,
“
grandeur that I am not going to interpose objections If
, .
Mrs Boffin (to whose countenance no disciple of Lavater

.
could possibly for a single moment subscribe) with a shiver , ,

“
seeks to illumi nate her new residence i n town with the
attractions of a ch i ld of mine I am content that she should ,
”
be favoured by the company of a child of mine .
You use the word ma am I have m yself used said ,

’
, ,
Ro k e s m i th with a glance at Bella

,
“
when you speak of Miss ,
W i l fe r s attractions there
’
.
”
Pardon me return e d Mrs Wilfer with dread fu l

,
”
.
,
“
solemnity but I had not fi ni sh ed
, .
“
Pray excuse me ”
I was about to say pursued M

.
rs Wilfer who clearly

, .
,
had not had the faintest idea of say ing anything more :
that when I use the term attractio n s I do so with the ,
qualification that I do not mean it i n any way whatever .
The excellent lady delivere d this luminous elucidation of

her views with an air of greatly obligin g her hearers and ,
greatly distin guishing herself Whereat Miss Bella laughed .
a scornful little laugh and said

“
Quite enough about thi s I am sure on all sides Have , ,
.
the goodness Mr Rok e s m i th to give my love to Mrs

,
.
,
.
Bo ffin
Pardon me ! cried Mr s Wilfer ”
Compli ments . . .
Love repeate d Bella with a little stamp of her foot ,

.
“
No said Mrs Wilfer monotonously
. Complim ents ,
. .
(
“
Say Miss W ilfe r s love and Mrs W ilf
’
e r s compliments , .
’
the Secretary proposed as a compro mi se ) ,

.
And I shall be ver y glad to come when she is ready for

me The sooner the better ”
One last word Bella said Mr s Wilfer be fore descend

. .
“ “ ”
, , .
,
ing to the family apartment I trust that as a child of mi ne .
you wil l ever be sensible that it wil l be graceful i n you when ,
as sociat i ng with Mr and Mrs Boffin upon e qu al te r m s to

. .
,
remember that the Secretary Mr Rok e s m i th as your father s , .

,
’
”
lodger has a claim on your good word
, .
Th e condescension with which Mrs Wilfer delivered this .

THE SECR ETARY
’
S B ITTE R F E E LINGS 2 47
proclamation of patronage was as won derful as the swiftness
with which the lodger had lost caste in the Secretary He .
smi led as the mother retired down stairs but h is face fell -
as the daughter followed .
So i nsolent so t rivial so capriciou s so mercenary so

, , , ,
careless so hard to touch so hard to turn

, ,
he said bitterly ,
.
“
And adde d as he went u p stairs And yet so pretty so
-
, ,
”
pretty !
And added presently as he walked t o and fro in his room
, ,
And if she knew !

She knew that he was shak i ng the house by his walking to
and fro and she declared it an other of the miseries of being
’
poor that you couldn t get rid of a haunting Secretary
stump —stum p—stumping overhead in the dark like a
, ,
,
Ghost .
CHAP T ER XVI I
'
A D I SMAL SW AMP
AND now in the blooming summer days behold Mr and

, , .
Mrs Bo ffin established in the eminently aristocratic family

.
mansion and behold all manner of crawling creeping

, , ,
fluttering and buzzing creatures attracted by the gold dust

, ,
of the Golden Dustman

F oremost among those leaving cards at the eminently
aristocratic door before it is quite painted are the Veneer ,
ings out of breath one might imagine from the impetuosity

, ,
of their rush to the eminently aristocratic steps One copper .
plate Mrs Veneering two copper plate Mr Veneerings and

.
,
-
.
,
a connubial copper plate Mr and Mrs Veneering requesting

-
. .
,
the honour of Mr and Mrs B offin s company at dinner with

. .
’
the utmost Analytical solemnities The enchanting Lady .
Tippins leaves a card Twemlow leaves cards A tall

. .
mustard coloured phaeton tooling up in a solemn manner

-
leaves four cards to wit a couple of Mr Podsnaps a Mrs

, ,
.
,
.
Podsnap and a Miss Podsnap All the world and his wife
,
.
and daughter leave cards Sometimes the world s wife has so ’
many daughters that her card reads rather like a Mi s c e l l a

.
n e o u s Lot at an Auction ; comprising Mrs Ta pki n s Miss .

,
Ta pk i n s Miss F rederica Ta pki n s Miss Antonina Ta pk i n s

, , ,
Miss Malvi na Ta pk i n s and Miss Euphemia Ta pki n s at the

,
same time the same lady leaves the card of Mrs Henry
,
.
George Alfred Swo s h l e n ee Ta pk i n s ; also a card Mrs

'
.
, , ,
Ta pk i n s at Home Wednesdays Music Portland Place

, , ,
.
Miss Bella Wilfer becomes an inmate for an indefinite ,
period of the eminently aristocratic dwelling Mrs B ofii n

,
. .
’
bears Miss Bella away to her milliner s and dressmaker s ’
and she gets beautifully dressed The Veneerings find with .
swift remorse that they have omitted to invite Miss Bella

W i l fe r One Mrs Veneering and one Mr and Mrs Veneering
. . . .
requesting that additional honour instantly do penance in ,
white cardboard on the hall table Mrs Ta pk i n s likewise . .

2
5 0 O UR MUTU AL F RI END
and the great importance of its being supported by a List of
Stewards that shall prove to the public the inte rest taken i n
it by popular and distinguished men I have undertaken to ,
ask you to become a Steward on that occasion Soliciti n g

‘
your favourable reply before the 1 4th instant I am My , ,
Dear Sir You r faithful servant L I N SE E D P S The Steward s

, , . . .
’
fee is li m ited to three Guineas F riendly this on the part .

,
of the Duke of Linseed (and thoug h tful in the postscript) ,
only lithographed by the hundred and presenting but a pale

individuality of address to Nicodemus Bo ffin Esquire in , ,
quite another hand It takes two noble Earls and a Viscount

.
,
combined to inform Nico demus Bofii n Esquire in an equally

, , ,
flattering manner that an estimable lady in the West of

,
England has offered to present a purse containing twenty

pounds to the Society for Granting Annuities to Unassuming
,
Members of the Middle Classes if twenty individuals will

-
previ ously present purses of one hundred pound s each And .
those benevolent noblemen very kindly point out that if

Nicodemus Bo ffi n Esquire should wish to present two or
, ,
more purses it will not be inconsistent with the design of the

,
estimable lady in the West of England provided each pu rse ,
be coupled with the n ame of so m e member of his hon oured

and respected family .
These are the corporate beggars B ut there are besides .

, ,
the individual beggars ; and how does the heart of the

Secretary fail him when he has to cope with th em ! And
they m u s t b e coped wit h to some extent because they all
'
enclose documents (they call their scraps documents ; but

they are as to papers deserv ing the name what minced veal
, ,
is to a calf) the non return of which would be their ruin

,
-
.
That is to say they are utterly ruined now but they would
, ,
be more utterly r u ined then Among these correspondents .
are several daughters of general o fficers long accustomed to ,
every l u xury of life (except spelling) who little thought when , ,
their gallant fathers waged war in the Peninsula that they ,
would ever have to appeal to those whom Providence in its ,
inscrutable wisdom has blessed with untold gold and from

, ,
among whom they select the name of Nicodemus Bo ffin ,
Esquire for a maiden effort in this wise understanding that

, ,
he has such a heart as never was The Secretary learns too, .

,
that confidence between man and wife would seem to obtain

but rarely when virtue is in distress so numerous are the ,
wives who take up their pens to ask Mr Bofii n for money .

B E GGING LETI ER WRITERS - ’ ‘
2
51
without the knowledge of their d evoted husbands who would ,
never permit it ; while on the other hand so numerou s are , ,
the husbands who take up their pens to ask Mr Bofii n for .
money without the knowledge of their d evoted wives who ,
woul d instantly go out of their senses if they ha d the least

suspicion of the circumstance There are th e inspire d begga rs .
,
too These were sitting only yesterday evening mu sin g over

.
, ,
a fragment of candle which must soon go out and leave them

in the dark for the rest of their nights when surely so m e ,
angel whispered the name of Nico demu s Bo fii n Esquire to , ,
their souls i mparting rays of h Ope nay co n fide n ce to which

, , ,
they had long been strangers ! Akin to these are the

suggestively befriended beggars Th ey were partaking of a
-
.
cold potato and wate r by the flickering and gloomy light of

a lucifer match in their l odgings (rent considerably in arrear
, ,
“
and heartless landlady threatening expulsion like a dog
into the streets) when a gifted friend happeni n g to look in
, ,
said Write immediately to Nicodemu s B o ffin Esquire and

, , ,
”
would take no denial There are th e nobly indepen dent .
beggars too These in the days of their ab u ndance ever

,
.
, ,
regarded gold as dross an d have not ye t got over that only ,
impediment in the way of their a m assing wealth but they ,
want no dross from Nicodemus Bofli n Esqui re No M r , .

,
.
Bo ffin ; the world may term it pride paltry pride if you will
'
but they wouldn t take it if you offered it ; a loan sir—for

, ,
’
fourteen weeks to the day interest calculated at the rate of ,
five per cent per annum to be bestowed u pon any charitable

.
,
institution you may nam e — is all they want of you an d if ,
you have the meanness to refuse it count on b ein g despised ,
by these great spirits There are the beggars of p u n ctual.
business habits too These will make an en d of the m selves

-
,
.
at a quarter to one P M on Tu esday if no Post o ffic e order . .

,
-
is in the interim received from Nicod emu s B o ffin Esquire ; ,
arriving after a quarter to one P M on Tu esday it need not be . .

,
sent as they will then (having mad e an exact me m oran d u m of

,
the heartless circumstances) be cold in death There are the .

”
beggars on horseback too in another sense from the se n se of , ,
the proverb These are mounted and ready to start on the

.
h ighway to affluence The goal is before them the road is

.
,
in the best condition their spurs are on the steed is willing

, , ,
but at the last moment for want of some speci a l thi n g— a

, ,
clock a violin an astronomical telescope an electrifyi n g

—
, , ,
machine they must dismount for ever unless they receive ,

2
52 OUR M UT U AL FRIEND
its equivalent in money from Nicodemus Bofii n Esquire , .
Less given to detail are the beggars who make sporting

ventures . These u sually to be addresse d in reply under
,
initial s at a country post office in quire in feminin e hands Dare

, ,
one who cannot disclose herself to Nicodemus Bo ffi n Esqui re , ,
but whose name might startle him were it revealed solicit the ,
immediate advance of two hundred pounds fro m unexpected

riches exercising their noblest privil ege in the trust of a
common humanity
In such a Dismal Swamp does the new house stand and ,
through it does the Secretary dail y struggle brea st hi gh -

.
Not to mention a ll the people alive who have made inventions

’
that wo n t act an d all the j obbers who j ob in all the
,
j obberies j obbed ; though these may be regarded as the

Al ligators of the Dismal Swamp and are always lying by ,
to drag the Golden Dustman under .
But the old house There are no design s aga i nst the
.
Golden D u stman there ? There are no fish of the shark

tribe in the B ower waters ? Perhaps not Sti l l W e g g is .
,
establi s hed there and wou l d seem j udged by his secret pro
, ,
c e e d in s
g to cherish a notion of making a discovery
,
F or .
when a man wi th a wooden leg lies prone on h i s stomach to

peep under bedsteads and hops up ladders like some extin ct ,
bird to survey the tops of presses and cupboards ; an d

,
provides himself an iron rod which he is always poking and

prodding into dust mounds ; the probabili ty is that he
-
expects to find somethi ng .
E ND OF BOOK I
2
54 OU R MUTUAL F RI E ND
all sorts of unseasonable times So unwieldy young dredgers .
'
and hulking mudlarks were referred to the e x pe r i e n c e s o f

Thomas Twopen ce who having resolved not to rob (under
, ,
cir cumsta nces of u ncommon atrocity) his particular friend

and benefactor of e i g h te e n p e n c e presently ca m e into super
, ,
natural possession o f three and Sixpence and live d a shini n g ,
light ever afterwards (Note that the benefactor came to no

.
good ) Several swaggering Sinners had written their own

.
biographies in the same strain ; it always appearing from

the lessons of th ose ve r y boastfu l persons that you were t o ,
do good not because it wa s good but because you were

, ,
to make a goo d thing of it Contrariwise the adul t pupil s .

,
were taught to read (if they could learn ) out of the New
Testament and by dint of stumbling over the syllables and
keep i ng their bewildered eyes on the particular syllables
coming round to their turn were as absolutely ignorant of ,
the sublime history as if they had never seen or heard of it

,
.
An exceedingly and confou ndingly perplexing j umble of a

school in fact where black Sp i rits and grey red Spirits and
, , ,
white j umbled j umbled j umbled j umbled j umbled every

, ,
ni ght . And particularly every Sunday ni ght F or then an .

,
inclined plane of unfortunate infants would be handed over

to the prosiest and worst of all the teachers with good
i ntentions whom nobody older would endure
,
Who taki ng .
,
his stand on the floor before them as chief executioner ,
would be attended by a conventional volunteer boy as

executioner s assistant ’
When and where it first became
.
the conventional system that a weary or inatte ntive infant

in a class m u st have its face smoothed downward with a hot
hand or when and where the conventional volunteer boy
,
first beheld s u ch system in operation, and be came i nflamed

with a sacred zeal to administer it ma tters not It was th e ,
.
fu nction of the chief executioner to hold forth and it was ,
the function of the acolyte to dart at sleeping infants ,
yawning infants restless in fants whi m peri ng infants and

, , ,
s m ooth their wretche d faces ; sometimes with one hand as ,
if he were an ointing them for a whisker ; sometimes with

both hands app l ied a fter the fashion of blinkers And so
,
.
the j umble would be in action in this department for a

mortal hour ; the exponent drawling on to My De a r e r r
C h i l d e r r e n e r r let u s say for example about the beautiful
, , ,
coming to the Sepulchre ; and repeating the word Sepulchre

(commonly use d among infants) five hundred times, and
CH ARL EY HEXAM A T S C H OO L 2 55
never once hinting what it meant ; the c o nventional b oy
.
smoothing away right and left a s an infallible commentary ,
the whole hot bed of flushed and exhausted infants e x c h a n g

-
ing measles rashes whooping cough fever and stomach

, ,
-
, ,
disorders as i f they were assembled in High Market for

,
the purpose
‘
Even in this temple of good intentions an exceptionally ,
Sha r p boy exceptionally determined to learn could learn ,
something and having learned it could impart it much

, , ,
better than the teachers as being more knowing than they ,
and not at the dis advantage in which they stood towards

the shrewder pupil s In this way i t h a d come about that .
Charley He x a m had risen in the j umble taught in the

,
j umble and been received from the j umble into a b etter

,
school .
So you want to go and Se e your Sister He x a m ,
If you please Mr Headstone ,

. .
”
I have half a mind to go with you Where does your .
sister live
“
Why she is not settled yet Mr Headston e I d rather
, , . .
’
’
you didn t see her til l she s settled if it was all the same ’
to you .
”
“
Look here He x a m Mr Bradley Headstone highly
, . .
,
certificated stipe ndiary schoolmaster drew his right fore ,
finger throu gh one o f the buttonholes of the boy s coat and ’
,
“
looked at it attentively I hop e your sister may be good .
company for you

“
Why do you doubt it Mr Headstone ? ,
-
.
I did not say I doubted it .
No s i r ; you didn t say so

,
’
.
Bradley Headstone looked at his finger again took it o u t ,
of the buttonhole an d looked at it closer, bit the side of it

and looked at it aga i n .
You see He x a m you will be one of us In go od time

, ,
. .
you are sure to pass a creditable examination an d become

one of u s Then the question is
.
The boy waited so long for the question while the school ,
master looked a t a new side of his fi n ger and bit it and , ,
looked at it again that at length the boy repeated ,

“
Th e question is Si r ,
W hether you had n ot better leave well alone

Is it well to leave my sister alone Mr Headstone
.
.
,
.
I do not say so because I do not know I put it to you

, . .
2
5 6 O UR M U TU A L F RIEND
I ask you to think of it I want you to consider Y ou know . .
”
how well you are doing here .
After all she got me here said the boy with a struggle
, , , .
”
Perceiving the necessity of it acquiesced the scho ol ,
“
mas ter and making up her mind fully to the separation
, .
”
Yes .
The boy with a return of that former reluctance or struggle

,
or whatever it was seemed to debate with himse lf At length

, .
’
he said raising his eyes to the master s face
,
“
I wis h you d come with me and s e e her Mr Headstone
’
,
.
,
’
though she is not settled I wish you d come with me and .
,
”
take her in the rough and j udge her for yourself ,
.
“
Y ou are sure you would not l ike as ked the school ,
mas te r to prepare her ?

,
“
My sister Lizzie said the boy proudly wants no
, , ,
preparing Mr Headstone,
What she is Sh e is and shows
. .
, ,
hersel f to be There s n o pretending about my Sister

.
’
.
”
His confidence i n her sat more easily upon h i m than the

indecision with which he had twice contended It was h i s .
better nature to be true to her if it were his worse natu re ,
to b e wholly se l fish And as yet the better nature had the

.
stronger hold .
“
Well I can Spare the evening said the schoolmaster
, , .
”
I a m ready to wal k with you .
Thank you Mr Headstone And I am ready to go

,
. . .
Bradley Headstone in hi s decent black coat and waistcoat

, ,
a n d decent white S hirt and decent formal black tie and , ,
decent pantaloons of pepper and salt with his decent silver ,
watch in his pocket and its decent hair guard round his -
neck looked a thoroughly decent young man of six and

,
-
twenty He was never seen in any other dress and yet

.
,
there was a certa i n stiffness in hi s manner of wearing this ,
as if there were a want of adaptation between him and it ,
recalling some mechanics i n their holiday clothes He had .
’
acquired mechanical ly a great store of teacher s knowledge .
He could do mental arithmetic mechanically Sin g at sight ,
mechanically blow various wi nd instruments mechanically

, ,
even play the great church organ mechani cally F rom his .
early childhoo d up his mind had been a place of mechanical

,
stowage The arrangement of h is wholesale w a rehouse so

.
,
that it might be alwa ys ready to mee t the demands of reta il

dealers — history here geography there astronomy to the , ,
right political economy to the left— natural history the

, ,
2 58 O UR MUTU AL FR I E ND
blocks out of a box by a child of particularly incoh erent

mind and set u p a n y h o w ; here one Side of a new stree t ;
,
'
there a large solitary publ i c hou se facing nowhere ; here

,
-
,
another unfinished street already in ru ins there a church ,
h ere an imme n se new war e house ; there a dilapidated ol d

, ,
count r y vi l la ; then a medley of black ditch sparkl in g , ,
cucumber frame rank field , richly cultivated kitchen garden

-
,
-
.
brick viaduct arch spanned canal and disorder of fr ows i nes s

,
-
,
and fog As if the child h ad given the table a kick and

.
gone to sleep .
But even among sc h ool buildings school tea chers a n d ,

-
,
-
,
school pupils all according to pattern and all engendered in

-
,
the light of the latest Gospel according to Monotony the ,
older pattern into which so m any fortunes have been shaped

for good and evil comes out It came out in Miss P e e c h e r
, .
the schoolmistress wateri ng her flowers as Mr B radley

Headstone walked forth It came out in Mi ss P e e c h e r the
.
, ,
schoolmistre s s watering the flowers in the little dusty bit of

,
garden attached to her small official residence with little ,
windows like the eyes i n needles and l ittle doors l i ke the ,

-
covers of school books -

.
Small Shining neat methodical an d buxom was Miss

, , , ,
P e e c h e r cherry cheeked and tunefu l of voice A li ttle pin

-
.
cushion a little housewife a little book a little workbox

, , , ,
a little set of tables and weights and measures and a little ,
woman all in one She could write a little essay on any

,
.
subj ect exactly a slate long beginning at the left hand top
, ,
-
of one side and end i ng at the right hand bottom of the other -
,
and the essay should be strictly accord i ng to rule If Mr . .
Bradley Headstone had addressed a written proposal of

marriage to her she would probably have repli ed in a com
,
pl e te little essay on the t h eme exactly a slate long but wou ld ,
certainly have replied yes F or she loved him The decent . .

.
hair guard that went round his neck and took care of his
-
decent s i lver watch was an obj ect of envy to her So would .
Miss P e e c h e r have gone round his neck and taken care of

him Of hi m inse n sible Because he did not love Mi ss
.
, .
P ee c he r .
Miss P e e c h e r s favourite pupil who assisted her in her

’
little household was in attendance with a can of water to

,
.
replenish her little watering pot and su fficientl y divined the -

,
state of Miss P ee c h e r s a fie c ti o n s to feel it necessary that she

’
herself Should love youn g Charley He xa m So there was a .

MIS S P E EC HE R AND HE R F AV OU RI TE P U P IL 2
59
double palpitation among the double st ocks and double wall
flo we r s when the master and the boy looked over the little
“
g ate .
“
A fine evening Miss P e e c h e r said the Master , , .
”
A very fin e evening Mr Headstone said Miss P e e c h e r ,
.
, .
Are you taking a wal k ?

He xa m and I are go i ng to take a long walk
Charming weather remarked Miss Pec cher for a long
.
”
, ,
wal k .
Ours is rather on business than mere pleasure said the ,
Mas ter .
Miss P e e c h e r inverting her watering pot and very care -

,
fully shaking out the few last drops over a flower as if ,
there were some Special vi r tue in them wh ich wou ld make it

a J ack s beanstalk befo re mornin g cal led for replenishment
’
to her pupi l who had been speak i ng to the boy

, .
Good nigh t Miss P ee c h e r said the Master , ,

”
.
Goo d night Mr Headstone s aid the Mistress , .

'
,
”
.
The pupil had been in h e r state of p upil age so imbued , ,
with the class custom of stretching out an arm as if to b a i l

-
,
a cab or omnibus whenever she found she had an observa ,
tion on hand to o ffer to Miss P e e c h e r that she often did it ,
in their domestic relations ; and she did it now .
Well Mary Anne ,

said Miss P e e c h e r .
If you please ma am He xa m said they were going to ,

’
see his siste r .

”
“
But that can t be I think returned Miss P ee c h e r ’
, ,
because Mr Headstone can have n o business with h er

. .
”
Mary Anne again hailed .
“
Well Mary Anne ,
If you please ma am perhaps it s He x a m s business

,
’
,
’ ’
“ ”
That may be said Miss P e e c h e r I didn t thi nk of
, .
’
that Not that it matters at all

. .
”
Mary Anne again hailed .
Well Mary Anne ,

’
They say she s very handsome
‘
Oh Mary Anne Mary Anne ! returned Miss P e e c h e r

, ,
”
,
slightly colouring and shaking her head a little out of ,

“
humour ; how often have I told you n o t to use that vagu e
expression not to speak in that general way ? When you
,
say th ey say w hat do you mean , Part of spee ch They ?

Mary Anne ho oked her right arm be hin d her in her left
hand as being under examination and rep l ied :
, ,
2 60 O UR M U TUA L FRIEND
Personal pronoun .
Person They ,
Third person .
Number They ? ,
Plural number .
Then how many do you mean Mary Anne ? Two Or ,

”
more ?
’
I beg your pardon ma am said Mary Anne discon certed , , ,
“
now she came to thi nk of it ; but I don t know that I mean
’
more than her brother himself As she said it she unhooked .

,
her arm .
“
I felt convinced of it returned Miss P e e c h e r smiling , ,
again . Now pray Mary Anne be carefu l another time He

, , .
says is very different from they say remember D ifference , .
between he says and they say Give it me .
Mary Anne immediately hooked her right arm behind her

in her left hand — a n attitude absolutely necessa ry to the
— “
situation a n d replied : One is indicative mood pre sent ,
t ense third person Singular verb active to say

,
Other is ,
.
indicative mood present tense thir d pe rson plural verb

, , ,
”
active to s a y .
“ ”
Why verb active Mary Anne ? ,
Because it takes a pronoun after it i n the obj ective ca se ,
Miss P e e c h e r .
“
Very good indeed remarked Miss P ee c h e r with e u , ,
“
c ou r a g e m e n t In fact coul d not be better Don t forget
.
, .
’
to apply it another t i me Mary Anne

,
This sa id Miss ,
.
”
,
P e e c h e r finished the watering of her flowers and went into ,
her little o fficial residence and took a refres her of th e ,
principal rivers and mountains of the world their breadths , ,
depths and heights before settl ing the meas urements of the
, ,
body of a dress for her own personal occupation .
Bradley Headstone a n d Charley He x a m duly got to the

Surrey side of Westm in ster B ridge and crossed the bridge , ,
and made along the Middlesex shore towar d s Mil lbank .
In this region are a certain little street ca l led Church Street , ,
and a certai n little blin d square called Smith Square i n the , ,
centre of which last retreat is a very hideous church with

four towers at the four corner s general ly resembling some ,
petrified monster frightful and gigantic on i ts back with its

, ,
legs in the air They found a tree near by in a corner and

.
,
’ ’
a blacksmith s forge and a timber yard and a dealer s in old
, ,
iron What a rusty portion of a boil er and a great iron

.
2 62 O UR M U TU A L FRIE ND
it might be Your Si ster wil l be in i n a b out a quarte r of an

.
hour I am very fond O f y ou r sis ter; She s my particul ar

.
’
friend Take a seat An d thi s gentleman s name

. .
’
“
Mr Headstone my schoolmaster
.
, .
”
Take a seat And would you please to shut the street

.
’
door first ? I can t very well d o it myself because my back s ,
’
”
so bad and my legs a r e so qu e er
, .
They complied i n silence and the l ittle figure went on ,
with its work of gumming or gluing together with a camel s ’
hair brush certain pieces of cardboard and thin wood pre ,
v i ou s l y cut into various s hape s The scissors and knives .
upon the bench showed that the chil d herself had cut them
‘
and the bright scraps of vel v et and silk and ribbon also
strewn upon the bench showed that when duly stu ffed (and
stu ffi ng too was there ) she was to cover them smartly The ,
.
dexterity of her nimble fingers was r emarkable and as Sh e , ,
b rought two thin edges accurately toget h er by giving them

a little bite she would glance at the visitors out of the
,
corners of her grey eyes with a look that out sharpen e d all -
her other sharpness .
’
You can t tell me the name of my trade I ll be boun d
’
, ,
she said after taking several of these observations

,
.
You make pincushions said Charley ,

”
.
What else do I make ?

P e n wi pe r s said Bradley Headstone,
.
Ha ! ha ! What else do I make Y ou re a school

’
’
maste r but you can t tell me
,
.
You do something he returned pointing to a corner of , ,

“ ’
the little bench with straw : bu t I don t know what
,
.
”
Well done you cried the person of the house I only .
make pincushions and p e n wi p e r s to u se up my waste But .
my straw really does belong to my business Try again . .
What do I make with my straw ?

”
D inner mats -
.
A schoolmaste r and says din ner mats ! I ll give you a ,

-
’
clue to my trade in a game of forfeits I love my love wi th

,
.
a B because She s Beautiful I hate my love with a B beca use

’
she is Brazen I took h er to the S ign of the Blue Boar and ,
I treated her with Bonnets ; her name s Bouncer and she ’
li ves in Bedla m —Now what do I make wi th my Straw

,
‘
.
,
’
Ladies bonnets
Fine ladies sa id the person of the house n odding
’
,
’ ”
assent . Dolls I m a dolls dressmaker ’
.
’
TH E D O LL S DR ESSMAKE R
’
i ?
I h ope
it s a good bus ness
'
The pers on of the house shrugged h e r Shoulders and Shook

’
“
h e r head No Po orly paid And I m often so pressed
. . .
for time ! I had a doll married last week and was O bliged , ,
to work a ll night And it s not good for me o n a c c ou n t of .

’
,
.
”
my back being so bad and my legs so queer .
They looked at the little creature with a wonder that did

not dim inish an d the schoolmaster sa id : I a m sorr y you r
,
”
fine ladies are so inconsiderate .
”
It s the way with them said the person of the house
’
, ,
shrugging her Shoulders again And th ey take no c a r e of .
their clothes and they n e ver keep to the same f a shions a

,
.
month I work for a doll with three daughters Bless y ou ,

. .
she s enough to ruin her husban d

’
The person of the house gave a weir d li ttle l au gh here ,
and gave them another look out of th e c or n e r s of her eyes .
She had an e l fin chin that was capable of gre at expression ;

a nd whenever she gave this lo ok Sh e hitched this chin u p ,
-
.
AS if her eyes an d her c h i n wo r k e d t ogether on th e sa me '
wires .
“
Are you always as busy as you are now ?
Busier I m slack j ust now I finished a large mourning
.
’
.
order the d a y before yesterday Doll I work for lost a .
canary bir d The pe r s on of t h e house gave another little

-
.
”
'
laugh and then nodded her head s e v e r a l t i m e s as who should

, ,
-
“
moralise Oh this world this world
, ,
'
“
Ar e you alone all day asked Bradley Headstone .
’
Don t any of the neighbouring children -
“
Ah lud ! cried the person of the house with a li ttle
,
”
,
“
scream as if th e word had pricked her
,
Don t talk of .
‘ ’
children I can t bear children I kn ow their tricks and

.
-
’
.
”
their manners She said this with an a ngry little shake of
.
her right fist c l Os e before her eyes .
Perhaps it scarcely required the teacher habit to perceive -
that the dolls dressmaker was inclined to be bitter o n th e

’
difference between herself and O ther child ren But both .
master and pupil understoo d it s o .
“
Always running about and screeching alway s playing ,
and fighting al ways skip skip Sk ipping on the pavement and

,
- -
chalking it for their games ! Oh ! I k n ow their t ricks a n d

their manners ! ”
Shaking the li ttle fist as before “
An d .
’
that s not all Ever so often calling names in thro u gh a
.
’ '
person s keyhole an d imitating a person s b a c k a n d legs ,

’
.
Oh I know their tricks and their manners An d I ll tel l .

’
'
you what I d do to puni sh em There s doors under the

’ ’
.
’
chu rch in the Squ are —bl ack doors l eadi n g i nto black vaults , .
’
Well I d O pen one of those doors an d I d cram em all in
-
,
’ ’
and then I d lock the door and through the keyhole I d blo w
’ ’
1n pepper .
What would be the good Of blowing in pepper ? asked

Charley He x a m .
’
To set em sneezing said the person Of the house an d , ,
make their eye s water An d when they were all sneezing » .
’ ’
and inflam ed I d mock em thro ugh the keyhole Just as
, .
they with the ir tricks and their m anners mock a person

, ,
through a pe r son s keyhole ! ’
An u ncommonl y emphatic Shake of her little fi st close

before her eyes Seemed to ea se the mind of the person of the
house fo r she added with recover e d composure No n o no , , ,
.
”
N 0 ch i ldren for me Give me grown ups .
-
.
It was difficult to guess the age of this Strange creature ,
for her poor figure furnished no clue to it an d her face was ,
at once so young an d so Ol d Twelve or at the most thirteen .

, ,
might be near th e mark .
“
I always d i d li ke grown ups she went on and always -
, ,
kept company with them SO sensible Sit SO quiet Don t . . .

’
go prancing and caperin g ab out ! And I mea n always to

keep among none but grown ups til l I marry I suppose I -
.
must make up my mind to marry one of these days ,

.
She l istened to a S tep outside that caught her ear and ,
there was a soft knock at the door Pulling at a handle .
within her reach , she said with a pleased laugh : Now here ,
’
for instance is a grown u p that s my particular friend
,
and -
Lizzie He xa m in a black dress entered the room .
“
Charley ! You ! '
Taking h i m to her arms i n the old way —of which he

see med a little as h amed — Sh e saw no one else .
“ ’
There there there Liz all right my dear See ! Here s
, , , , ,
.
”
Mr Headstone come with me
. .
Her eyes met those of the schoolmas ter who had evidently ,
expected to see a very different sort Of person and a ,
murmured word or two of salutation passed between them .
Sh e was a little flu r r i e d by the u nexpected visit and the ,
s c hoolmaster was not at his ease But he never was .

,
quite .
“
I told Mr Headstone you were not settled Liz but
.
, ,
2 66 O UR M U TU A L F RIEND
' '
Ve r y We ll , Ch arley I want for nothin g

. .
Y ou ha ve your own room h ere

O h yes Up stairs And it s quiet and pleasant ’
.
-
.
, ,
an d
And Sh e al ways h a s the use of this room for visitors ,

”
said the person of the house screwi ng u p one O f her little ,
bony fists l i ke an Opera glass and look i ng through i t Wi th

,
-
,
.
,
her eyes and h er chin in that quaint acc o rdance Always .
’
this room for visitors haven t you Lizzie dear ,
It happened that Bradley Headstone noticed a very slight

action of Lizzie He xa m s hand as though it checked the ’
,
’
dolls dress m aker And it happened that the latter noticed
.
him at the sa m e i nstant for she made a double eye glass of -
her two hands looked at him through it and cried with

, , ,
“
a waggish shake of her head : Aha ! Caught you Spying ,
did I
It might have fal len out so any way ; but Bradley Head ,
stone also noticed that immedi ately after this Liz zie who , ,
had not taken off he r bonnet rather hurriedly proposed that ,
as the room was getting dark they should go out i nto the air .
’
They went out the visitors saying good n ight to the dolls
dressmaker whom they left lean i ng back in her chair with
, ,
her arms crossed singing to herself in a sweet thoughtful

,
little voice .
“
I ll saunter on by the river said B radley
’
You wil l , .
be glad to talk t ogether .

”
As his uneasy figure went on before th em among the even

ing shadows the boy said to hi s S ister petulantly
,
“
When are you going to settle yourself i n some C hristian
sort of place Liz I thought you were going t o do it
,
before now .
”
“
I a m very well where I am Charley ,
.
Very well where you are I am ashamed t o have brought

'
Mr Headstone with me How came you to get into such

. .
co mpany as that little witch s ’
“
By chance at first as it se emed Charley But I think
, ,
.
it m u s t have bee n by something more than chance for that ,
chil d Yo u remember the bil ls upon the walls at home

Confound the bills upon the walls at home ! I want to
forget th e bil ls upon the walls at home a n d it would be better ,
“
for you to do the same grumbled the boy Well what of
,
”
.
,
them
This child is the grandchild O f the old man .
CH ARL EY AND HI S SISTER 2 67
What old man
The terri b le drunken O l d m an i n the l i st S li p pers and ,
”
the nightcap .
The boy asked rubbing his nose in a manner that half ,
expressed vexation at heari ng SO much and half cu riosity to ,

“
hear more : How came you to make that out ? What a
girl you are
The child s father IS employed by the ho use that employs
’
’
me that s how I came t o know it Charley The father is lik e , .
h is own father a weak wretched tremblin g creature falling

, , , ,
to pieces never sober But a good workman too at the

,
.
,
work he doe s The mother is dead This poor ailing little

. .
creature has come to be what she is surrounded by drunken

people from her cradle —i f she ever had one Charley
,
”
, .
“ ’
I don t see what you have to do with her for all that , ,
said the boy .
“
Don t you Charley ?
’
The boy looked doggedly at the ri ver They were at .
Mi l lbank and the river rolled on their left His sister

, .
gently touched him on the Shoulder and pointed t o it , .
“
An y compensation— restitution— never mind the wo rd
you know my meaning F ather s grave .
’
.
”
But he did not respon d with any tenderness After a .
moody silence he broke out in an ill used tone : -
“
It ll be a very hard thing Liz if when I am trying my
’
, , ,
best to get up in the worl d you pull me back , .

”
,
I Charley
’
Yes you Liz Why can t you let bygones be bygones
, , .
Why can t you as Mr Headstone said to me this very even

’
,
.
'
ing abo u t another matter leave well alone What we have ,
got to do is to turn our faces full in our new d irection and

, ,
”
keep straight on .
‘
And never look back ? Not even to try to make some
amends
‘
You are such a dreamer said the boy with his former , ,
petulance It was all ve r y well when we sat before the fire

—when we looked into the hollow down by the fla r e —but
.
”
we are looking into the real world n ow .
Ah we were looking into the real world then Charley

, ,
I understand what you mean by that but you are n ot ,
j ustified in it I d on t want, as I raise myself to Shake y ou

.
’
O ff
, Liz I want to carry yo u up with m e
. That s what .
’
I want to do and mean to do I know what I owe you I

, . .
2 68 OUR M U TU AL FRIEND
‘
said to Mr Headstone this very evening After all m y Siste r
.
, ,
’ ’
got me here Well then Don t pull me back and hol d
.
, .
,
’
me down That s a ll I ask and surel y that s n ot u n c on
.
,
’
s c i o n a bl e .
She had kept a steadfa st look upon him and she answered ,
with composure
“
I am not here selfishly Charley To please : myse lf I , .
,
could not be too far from that ri ver .

’
“
Nor could you be too far from it to please me L et u s .
get quit of it equally Why S hould you linger a bout it any .
more than I I give it a wide berth .

”
“ ’
I can t get away fro m it I th i nk said Lizzie p a ssin g , , ,
her hand across her forehead It s no purpose of mine that .

’
I live by it still .
“
There you go Liz ! Dreaming again ! You lodge your
,
self of your own accord in a house with a drunken — tailor ,
I suppose — o r something of the sort and a little crooked antic ,
of a child or old person, or whatever it is and th en you

, ,
talk as if you were drawn or d riven there Now do be more .
practical .
She had been practical enough with him i n su ffering and ,
S triving for him but she only laid her hand upon his Sh oulder
— not reproachfully — and tapped it twice o r thri ce She had . .
been used to do SO to soothe him when she carried him about, ,
a child as heavy as herself Tears started to his eyes . .
“
Upon my word L iz drawin g the back of his han d , ,
across them I mean to be a good brother to y ou and to

, ,
prove that I know what I owe you All I say is that I hope .
,
’
you ll control your fancies a little on my account I ll get ,
.
’
a scho ol and then you must come an d live with me and

, ,
you ll have to control your fancies then so why n ot now ?

’
Now say I haven t vexed you ’

.
”
“ ’ ’ ”
You haven t Charley you haven t , ,
.
And say I haven t hurt you ’

.
”
Y ou haven t Charley But this answer was less ready

’ ”
.
, .
’
Say you are sure I didn t mean to Come ! There s Mr ’
. .
Headstone stopping and looking over the wall at the tide to , ,
hint that it s time to go Kiss me and tell me that you

’
.
,
’ ”
know I didn t mean to hurt you .
She told him so and they embraced an d walked on and , ,
ca me up with th e schoolmaster .
“
But we go you r sister s way he remarked when the boy ’
, ,
tol d him he was ready And with his cumbrous and uneasy .
2 70 O UR MUTU AL FRIEND
Does now
The boy had so lost himself that he looked at Mr Bradley .
Headstone as they walked on side by side without attempting ,
to reply until the question had been repeated then he nodded ,

“
and answered Yes sir , , .
”
Goin g to see her I dare say , .
’
It can t be said the boy quickly
’
He doesn t know ,
.
her well enough I Should like to catch him at it

.
’
When they had walked on for a time more rapidly than ,
before the master said clasping the p u pi l s a r m between the

, ,
’
.
elbow and the Shoulder with his hand

You were goin g to tell me something about that person .
What did you say his name was ?

W r a yb u r n Mr Eugene W r a yb u r n He is what they
. . .
call a barrister with nothin g to do The first time he came

,
.
to ou r O l d place was when my father was alive He came .
on business not that it was hi s business — h e never had any

business — h e was brought by a friend of his .
”
“
And the other t i mes
There was only one other time that I know of When .
my father was kille d by accident he chanced to be one of the ,
finders He was mooning about I suppose taking li berties

.
, ,
with people s chins but there he was somehow H e brought

’
, .
the news home to my sister early i n the morning and brought ,
Miss Abbey Potterson a neighbou r to help break it to her , , .
He was mooning about the house when I was fetched home

in the aftern oo n — they didn t kn ow where to find me till my ’
siste r could be brought round su fficiently to tell them —an d

then he mooned away
“
An d is that all
”
That s all sir ’
, .
Bradley Headstone gradual ly released the boy s arm as if

.
’
he were th oughtful an d they walked on Side by side as ,
before After a long silence between them Bradley resumed

.
,
the ta lk
I suppose —you r Sister
.
“
with a cu rious break both
“
before an d after the words has received hardly any teachin g , ,
He xa m
“
Hardly any s ir , .
’
Sa c r i fic e d no doubt to her father s O bj ections I remember
them in your case Yet — your sister —scarcely looks or speaks
.
, ,
like an ignorant person .
Lizzie has as much thought as the best Mr Headstone ,

. .
P OSSI B ILITI ES AND C O N SID ERATI O N S 2 7 1
TO O much perhaps W ithout teachin g I used to call the fire

, ,
.
at home her books for she was always full of fancies— some ,
times quite wise fancies consideri ng— when Sh e sat l ooking ,

”
at it .
“
I don t like that said Bradley Headstone
’
, .
His pupil was a little surprised by this striking i n with so

su dden and decided and emotional an O bj ection but to ok it as ,
’
a proof of the maste r s interest in h imself It emboldened .
him to say
I have never brought myself to mention it Open ly to you ,
Mr Headstone and you re my witness that I couldn t even

.
,
’ ’
make up my mind to take it from you before we came out

to night but it s a painful thing to think that if I get on
-
’
as well as you hope I shall b e — I won t say disgraced becau se ’
I d on t mean disgraced — but—rather put to the blush if it

, ,
’
was known — b y a sister wh o has been very go od to me .

”
”
Yes said Bradley Headstone i n a slurring way for h is
, ,
min d scarcely seemed to touch that point so smoothly did it ,

“
glide to another and there is this possibili ty to consider
, .
Some man wh o had worked his way might come to admire

— y our Sister— and might even in time bring himself to thi n k
of marrying—your sister — and it would be a sad drawback
and a heavy penalty upon him if overcomi n g in h i s mind ,
other inequalities of condition and other considerations against

it this inequality and this consideration remained in full
,
force .
”
“ ’
That s mu ch my own meanin g sir , .
“
Aye aye said Bradley Hea d stone but you spoke of
, ,
”
,
a mere brother Now the case I have supposed wou l d be a

.
much stronger case ; because an admirer a hu sband would , ,
form the connexion voluntarily besides bein g obliged to ,
proclaim it : which a brother is n o t After all you know .

, ,
it must be said of you that you co u ldn t help yourself while ’
”
it would be said of him with equal reason that he could , ,
.
“
That s true Si r Sometim es since Lizzie was left free by
’
,
.
,
’
father s death I have thought that su ch a young woman might
,
soon acquire more than enough to pass muster And some .
times I have even thought that perhaps Miss P e e c h e r

“
F or the purpose I would advise NO T Miss P e e c h e r , ,
Bradley Headstone struck in with a recurren ce of his late

decision of manner .
“
Would yo u be so kind as to think of it for me Mr ,
.
Headstone ?
2 72 O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
Yes He xa m yes I ll think of it I ll think maturely
, , .
’
.
’
’
of it I ll think well of it
. .
Their walk was almost a silent one after wards until it ,
ended at the school house There one of neat Miss P e e c h e r s

-
.
,
’
little windows l i k e the eyes in needles was illuminated and

, , ,
i n a corner near it sat Mary Anne watching while Miss ,
P e e c h e r at the table stitched at the neat little body Sh e was

makin g up by brown paper pattern for her own wearing .
N B Miss P e e c h e r and Miss P e e c h e r s pupils were not much

. .
’
encou raged in the unscholastic art of needlework by Govern

ment .
Ma r y Anne with her face to the window held her arm up

, , .
“
Well Mary Anne ,
’
Mr Hea dstone comi ng home ma am
.
, .
In about a minute Mary Anne again hailed ,

.
Yes Mary Anne ,

’
Gone in and locked his door ma am , .
Miss P e e c h e r repressed a Sigh as Sh e gathered her work

together for bed and transfixed that part of h e r d r e s s where
.
,
‘
her heart would have been if s h e had had the dress on with ,
a Sh a rp; sharp n e edle .

I have been thinkin g Jenn y went on as I sat at , ,
work to day what a thing it would be if I shou ld be able

-
,
to have your company t i ll I am married or at least courted , .
Because when I am courted I Shall make Him d o some of ,

’
the thin gs that you do for me He couldn t brush my hair .
like you do or help me up and down sta i rs like you do

, ,
and he could n t do anything l i ke you do ; but he coul d

’
take my work home and he could call for orders in his ,
clumsy way And he S hall too I ll trot him about I can

. .
’
tell him
Jenny Wren had her personal vanities — happily for her
and no intentions were stronger in her breas t than the
variou s trials and torments that were in the fulness O f ,
”
time to be inflicted upon h im
,
.
“
Wherever he may happen to be j ust at present or who ,
“ ”
ever he may happen to be said Miss Wren I know his , ,
tricks and his manners and I give him warning to look ,
out .
”
’
Don t you think you are rather hard upon him asked
her friend smiling and smo othing her h air
, ,
.
“
Not a bit replied th e sage Miss Wren with an air of
,
”
,
’
vast experience My dear they don t care for you those
.
, ,
’
fellows if you re n ot hard upon em But I was saying If
,
’
.
I Should be able to have you r company Ah ! Wh at a .
large If Ain t it ’
“
I have no intention of parting company J enny ,
.
’
Don t say that or you ll go direc tly
’
, .
”
Am I so li ttle to be relied upon

You re more to be relied upon than silver and gold
’
.
As she said it Miss Wren suddenly broke O ff screwed up

-
, ,
her eyes and h er chin and looked prod igiously knowing ,

.
Aha !
‘
W h o c om es h e re ?
A G re n a d i e r .
W h a t d oe s h e wa n t ?
A p o t of b e e r .
’
And n othing else i n the world my dea r ,
A man s figu re paused on the pavement at the outer

’
.
Mr Eugene W r a yb u r n ai n t it ? said M iss Wren

.
,
’
.
”
S o I am told was the answer ,
.
You may come in if you re good ,

’
.
“ ” ’
I a m not good said Eugene but I ll come in
-
, ,
.
He gave his hand to Jenny Wren and he gave his ,

MR . W RAY BU RN V IS ITS L I ZZ IE HEXAM 2 75
to Lizzie and he stood leaning by the door at Lizzie s Side
,
’
.
He had been strolling with h i s c i ga r he said (it was smoked ,
out and gone by this tim e ) and he had stroll ed round to ,
return in that direction that he might look in as he passed .
Had Sh e not seen her brother to night -
said Lizzie whose manner was a little troubled ,

.
’
Graciou s condescension on our brother s part Mr Eugene .
W r a yb u r n thought he had passed my young gentleman on

the bridge yonder Who was his frien d with him .
“
The schoolmaster .
”
To be sure Looked like it . .
Lizzie sat SO Stil l that one could not have said wherein ,
the fact of her mann er be ing troubled was expressed ; and

y e t one could not have doubted it Eugene was as easy as .
ever ; but perhaps as Sh e sat with her eyes cast d own it ,
might have been rather more perceptible that h i s attention

was concentrated upon h er for certain moments than its ,
concentration upon any subj ect for any short time ever was ,
elsewhere .
“
I have no thi ng to report L izzie said Eugene But , ,
.
having promised you that an eye should be always kept

on Mr Riderhood through my friend Lightwood I like
. .
occasional ly to renew my assurance that I keep my pro

mise and keep my friend up to the mark
, .
“
I should not have d oubted it sir ,
.
”
Generally I confess myself a m a n to be doubted r e

, ,
“ ”
t u rned Eugene coolly for all that , ,
.
“
Why are you ? asked the sharp Miss Wren .
Be c au se my dear said the airy E u gene “ I am a bad

, ,
”
,
”
idle dog .
“
Then w h y don t you reform a nd be a goo d dog ? i n
’ ”
quired Miss Wren .
“ “
Because my dea r returned Eugene
,
there s nobody , ,
’
who makes it worth my whil e Have you co n sidered my .
suggestion Lizzie , Thi s in a lower voice but only as if ,
it were a graver matter ; not at all to the exclusion of the

person of the house .
“
I have th ought of it, Mr W r a yb u r n but I have not .
,
been able to make up my m i nd to accept it .
“
False pride said Eugene .
I think n ot Mr W r a y b u r n I hope not

, . . .
F al s e pride repeated Eugene “

Why what else i s it .
,
The thing is worth nothing in itself The thing is wo rth .

2 76 O UR MUTUAL FRI EN D
nothing to me What can it be wo rth to me. You know
the most I make of it I propose to be of some use to .
somebody— which I never was in thi s world and never shall

be on any other occa sion —b y paying some quali fied person
,
of your own sex and age so many (or rather SO few) con ,
te m pti b l e shillings to come here certain nights i n the week

, , ,
and give yOu certain instru ction which you wouldn t want if ’
you hadn t been a self denying daughter and sis ter You
’
-
.
know that it s good to have it or you would never have so

’
,
’
devoted yourself to your brother s having it Then why not .
have it especially when our frien d Miss Jenny here would

profit by it too ? If I proposed to be the teacher o r to
attend the lessons —O bviously incongruous —but as to that
,
'
I mi ght as well be on the oth er side of the globe or not on ,
th e globe at all F alse pride Lizzie Because true pride

.
, .
wouldn t shame or be ashamed by, your thankless brother

’
, .
True pride wouldn t have schoolmasters brought here like ’
doctors to look at a ba d case True pride would go to work

,
.
and do it You know that well enough for you know that
.
, ,
your own true pride would do it to morrow if you had the -
’
ways and means whi ch false pride wo n t let me supply .
Very well I add no more than this Your false pride

. .
”
does wrong to y ou rself and doe s wrong to your dead father .
How to my father Mr W r a y b u r n ? Sh e as ked with an

, .
,
anxious face .
How to your father ? Can you ask ! By perpetuatin g

the consequences of hi s ignorant and blin d obstin acy By .
resolving not to set right the wrong he did you By deter .
m i ning that the deprivation to which he condemned you and ,
which he forced upon you shall al ways rest upon his head ,
.
It chanced to be a subtle stri ng to so u nd i n her who had ,
so spoken to her brother within the hour It sounded far .
more forcibly be cause O f the change in the speaker for the

,
moment ; the passing appea r ance Of earnestness complete ,
conviction inj ured resentment of suspicion generous and

, ,
unselfish interest All these qualities i n hi m u sually so

.
,
light and careless she felt to be i nseparable from some ,
touch of their opposites i n her own brea st She thought .

,
had she SO far below h i m and so di fferent rejected this

, ,
disinterestedness because of some vain misgiving that he

sought her out or heeded any personal attr actions that he
,
might descry in her ? The poor girl pure of heart and ,
pu rpose could not bear to think it Sink ing be fore her

,
.
2 7 8 OUR MUTUAL FRI E ND
I have never doubted that Mr W r a yb u r n said Lizzie ; , .
,
the more repentant the less he claimed ,

.
“
I am very glad to hear it Though if you had quite .
understood my whole meaning at first I thin k you woul d ,
n ot have refused DO you th i nk you would

I —I don t know that I should Mr W r a yb u r n
.
’
. .
,
Well Then why refuse now you do u ndersta n d it ?

“
’
It s not easy for me to talk to you returned Liz z i e i n , ,
.
“
some confus ion for you s ee all the conse quences of what
,
”
I say as soon as I say it
, .
Take all the co nsequences laughed E ugene and take , ,
away my di sa ppointment L izzie He x a m as I truly respect .

,
you and as I am you r fr iend and a p o or devil of a ge n tle

,
man I protest I don t even no w understan d why you

,
’
hesitate .
There was an appearance O f openness trus tfu l nes s u n , ,
suspect i ng generosity in his wo r ds and man ner that won , ,
the poor girl over ; and not only won her o ver but again
’
cau sed her to feel as though she had b e en influenced by the

opposite qualities with vanity at their head , .
I will not hesitate any l onger Mr W r a y b u r n I hope ,

. .
you will not think the worse of me for having hesitated at

all F or myself and for Jenny— you let me answer for you
.
,
Jenny dear ?
The littl e creature had been leaning back attentive with ,
her elbows resting on the elbows of her chair and her ch i n ,
upon her hands Without changing her atti tu de she .

,
“
'
”
answered Yes ! s o s u d d e n l y that it rather seemed as if
Sh e had chopped the monosyllable than spoken it .
“
F o r myself and for Jenny I than k fully a ccept your ,
”
ki n d O ffer .
“
Agreed ! D i smisse d said Eugene giving Liz zie his .
han d before lightly waving it as i f he waved the whole ,
subject away I hope it may not be ofte n that so much

.
is made of so littl e .
“
Then he fell to talking play fully with Jenny Wren I .
think of setti ng up a doll Mis s Jenny he said , ,

”
.
“
Y o u had better not replied the dressmaker ,
.
Why not
Yo u are sure to break it All you chil dren do . .
But that makes goo d for trade you know Miss Wren , , ,
“
returned Eugene Much as people s breaking promises and
.
’
contracts and bargain s of all sorts makes good for my trade ,

.
P L EASANT FANCI ES 2 79
“
I do u t know about that Miss Wren retorted ; but
.
’
,
you had bette r by half set up a pe nwiper an d turn indus ,
tr i o u s and use it .
“
Why if we were all as industrious as you little Bu sy
, ,
Body we should be gin to work as soon as we could crawl

, ,
”
and there would be a bad thing !
‘ ”
Do you mean returned the li ttle creature with a flush , ,
“
su ffusing her face bad for your backs and your legs ,
No no no said Eugene shocked — to do him j ustice

, , ,
”
“
at the thought O f tri fling with her infirmity Bad for .
business bad for business If we all set to work as soon as

, .
we c oul d use our hands it would be al l over with the dolls ,

’
”
dressmakers .
“ ’
There s something in that replied Miss Wren ; you ,
have a sort of an idea i n you r noddle sometim es Then in .

”
,
“
a changed tone : Ta l kin g of ideas my Lizzie t h ey were , ,
“
Sitting side by Side as they had sat at first I wo nder how ‘
it happens that when I a m wo rk work working here al l

'
, , ,
alone in the summer time I smell flowers -

, .
”
“
As a common place indivi dual I should say Eugene -
suggested languidly — for he wa s growin g weary of the per

, ,
son of the house that you smell flowers becau s e you d o

smell flowers .
”
NO I don t said the little cre ature resting one arm

,
’
,
”
,
upo n the elbow of her chair resti n g her chin upon that ,
“
hand and looking v ac antly before her ;
, this is not a
’
flowery neighbourhood It s a nythi n g but that And yet . .
,
as I sit at work I smell miles of flowers I smell roses till

,
.
I think I see the rose leaves lyi n g in heaps bushels on the

“
-
, ,
floor I smell fallen leaves till I put down my hand— S O and

.
expect to make them rustle I sm ell the white an d the p i nk .
May in the hedges and all so rts of flowers that I never wa s ,
among F or I have seen very few flowers indeed in m y life

.
,
.
”
“
Pleasant fancies to have Jenny dear ! said her friend ,
”
with a glance towards Eugene as if she would have asked

him whether they were given the child in compe n sation for
her losses .
“
SO I think Lizzie when they come to me , An d the ,
.
bir ds I hear ! Oh ! cried the little creature holdi n g out ”
,
“
her hand and looking upward how they sing ! ,
'
There was something in the face and action for the mom e nt
quite inspired and beautifu l Then the chin dropped .
musingly upon the hand again

’
.
2 80 O UR MUTUAL F RI E ND
I dare say my birds si ng better than othe r birds a n d ,
my flowers smell better than other flowers For when I was .
” “
a little child in a tone as though it were age s ago
, the ,
children that I use d to s ee early in the morning were very ‘
different from any others that I ever saw They w ere not .
like me : they were not chil led anxious ragge d or beaten ; , , ,
they were never in p ain They were not like the children .
O f the neighbours ; they never made me tremble a ll O ver - -
by setting up shrill noises and they never mocked me , .
Such numbers of them too ! All in white dresses and , ,
with s omethin g shining on the borders and on their heads , ,
that I have never been able t o imitate with m y work ,
though I know it so well They u sed to come down in .
long bright slanting rows and say all to gether Who is this , ,
in pain Who is this in pain When I told them who it

‘
was they answered
,
Come and play with us ! When ,
’
‘
I said I neve r play ! I can t play they swept about me
,
’
and took me up and made me light Then it was all ,

.
delicious ease and rest till they laid me down and said ,
‘
all together, H a ve patience and we will come again
.
,
.
’
Whenever they came back I used to know they were ,
coming before I s a w the long bright rows by hearing them ,

‘
ask all together a long way O ff Who is this in pain Wh o
, ,
is this in pain And I u sed to cry out Oh my blessed .
, ,
’
children it s poor me ! Have pity on me Take me up and
,
make me light
By degrees as she progressed in this remembrance the
, ,
hand was raised the late ecstatic look returned and she
, ,
became quite beautiful Having so pau sed for a moment .

,
silent with a listening smile upon her face she looked roun d
, ,
and rec al led herself .
’
What poor fun you think me ; don t you Mr Wray , .
’
burn ? You may well look tired of me But it s Saturday .
”
night and I won t detain you
,
’
.
“ ”
That is to s a y Mis s Wren , observed Eugene , quite ,
“
ready to profit by the hint you wish me to go ,
“ ’ “ ”
Well it s Saturday night
,
she returned and my , ,
’
child s coming home And my child is a troublesome bad .
child and costs me a world of s colding I would r ather you

, .
’ ”
didn t see my child .
“ ”
A doll ? said Eugene not understanding and looking , ,
for an explan a tion .
But Lizzie with her lips only shaping the two words
, , ,
2 82 O UR MUTU AL FRI E ND
know your tricks and your manners, cried Miss
I
I kn o w where you ve be e n to ! (which indee d it
’ ”
Wr en .
did not require discernment to dis cover)

.
Oh , you dis .
graceful O ld chap -
Th e very breathing of the figu r e wa s contemptible as it

j ,
laboured and rattled in that O peration like a blunderin g ,
clock .
“
Slave Slave slave from morning to night pursu ed the
, , , ,
“
person of the house , and al l for this Wh a t do you mean
by it
There was something in that :emphasiz ed What which ,
absurdly frightened the figure As often as the person of .
the hou se worked her way round to i t— even as soon as he

saw that it wa s coming— h e collapsed in an extra degree .
I wish you had be e n taken up and locked up said the , ,

”
“
person of the house I wish y o u had b e e n pok e d into cells
.
' ‘
and black h oles and r u n over by rats and spiders a n d,
beetles I know their tricks and thei r manners and they d

.
'
,
’
'
have tickled y o u ni c e l y Ain t you ashamed Of yourself ? .

’
“ ”
Yes my dear stam m ered the father
, , .
Then ” said the person of the house terrify ing him by

, ,
a grand muster of her spirits and forces befor e recurring to

the emphatic word wh a t do you mean by it ,
“
Circumstances over which had no control was the ,
miserable creature s plea in extenuation ’

.
“
I ll circumstance you and control you too , retorted the
’
“
person of th e h o u s e Speaking with vehement sharpness if
'
, ,
you talk in that way I ll give you in charge to the police .

’
and h ave you fined five shillings when you can t pay and ’
then I won t pay the money for you and you ll be trans
’ -
,
’
ported for life How should you like to be transported

.
for life
“
Shouldn t like it Poor shattered invalid Trouble , . .
nobody long cried the wretched fi g ure ,

.
Come come said the person of the house tapping the

, ,
table near her in a b usin ess like manner and Sha king her -
,
head and her chin ; you know what you ve got to d o

.
’
.
”
Put down your money this instant .
The obedient figure began to ru mmage in its pockets .
’
Spent a fortune ou t of your wages I ll be bou nd ! - '
,
‘ ’
“ ’
said the person of the house Put it here ! All you ve .
got left ! Every farthin g

’
Such a business as he made Of c o l l e c ti n g it from his dog s ‘
THE PE R SO N O F THE HO U SE AND THE BAD C HI LD
’ ”
Oh but he won t said Lizzie
,
You ll take care of
, .
’
that beforehand
,
.
I shall try to take care of it beforehand but he might ,
deceive me Oh m y dear all those fellows with their tricks

.
,
-
,
”
and their manners d o deceive ! With the little fist in full
“
action : An d i f so I tell you what I think I d do When
,
’
.
he was asleep I d make a spoon red hot and I d have s o me

,
’
,
’
bo i ling liquor bubbling i n a saucepan and I d take it out -
,
’
hissing and I d open his m ou th wi th th e other hand — o r

’ '
'
perhaps he d sleep with his mouth ready O pen—and I d pour

-
,
’ ’
it down his throat and blister it and choke him , .

”
I a m sure you wo ul d do no su ch horribl e thing said ,
Lizzie .
’
Shouldn t I Well perhaps I Shouldn t But I should
’
.
like to
I am equally sure you would not .
Not even like to Well you generally know best , .
Onl y you haven t always lived among it as I have lived

’
’
and yo u r back isn t bad an d your legs are not queer .
AS they went on with their supper Lizzie tried to bring ,
her round to that prettier and better state But the charm .
was broken The person of the house was the person of a

.
house full of sordid shames and cares with an upper room ,
in which that abased figure was infecting even innocent sleep

’
with sensual brutality and degradation The dolls dress .
maker had become a little quaint shre w ; of the world ,
worldly of the earth earthy , .
Poor dolls dressmaker ’

How O ften so dragged down by
hands that Should have raised her up ; how O ften SO mis
directed when losing her way on the eternal road and askin g ,
’
guidance ! Po or, poor, little dolls dressmaker !
CHAP T ER III
A PI E C E OF W ORK
B R I TAN N I A sitting meditating one fine day (pe rhaps in the

,
attitude in which she is presented on the copper coinage ) ,
discovers all of a sudden that she wants Ven eering in Parli a

ment It occurs to her that Veneeri ng is a representative
.
man ”
whi ch cannot in these times be doubted— and that
’
Her Maj esty s faithfu l Commons are incomplete without
him . SO Britanni a mentions to a legal gentleman of her
“
acquai ntance that if Veneering will put down five thou
sand pounds he may write a couple O f initial letters after
,
.
his name at the extremely cheap rate of two thousa nd five

hundred per letter It is clearly understood between
.
Britannia and the legal gentleman that nobody is to take

up the five thousand poun ds but that bei ng put down the y ,
wil l disappear by magical conj uration an d enchantment .
The legal gentleman in B ri t a n nia s confidence going ’
s tr a i g h t fr o m that lady to Veneering thu s commissioned , ,
Veneering declares him self highly flattered but requires ,

“
breathing time to ascertai n whether his friends will rall y
round him . Above all th i ngs h e says it behoves him to
”
, ,
“
be clear at a crisis of this importance whether his frien d s
, ,
wi ll rally roun d him The legal gentleman in the inter

.
,
ests of h is client cannot allow much time for th is purpose

, ,
as the lady rather thinks she knows somebody prepared '
to put d own six thousand pounds but h e says he will give

Veneering four hours .
Veneering then says to Mrs Veneering We must work

-
.
,
and throws h i mself into a Ha nsom cab Mrs Veneering in . .
the same moment relinquishes baby to Nurse ; presses her

aquil i ne hands upon her brow to arrange the throbbin g ,
intellect within ; o r d e r s o u t the carriage ; and repeats in a

'
distracted and d e vo te d m a n n e r compounded of Ophelia and ,
any self immolating female of antiquity you may prefer

-
,
“
We mus t work .
”
Veneering having instructed his driver to charge at the
Public in the streets like the Life Guards at Waterloo i s , ,
driven furiously to Duke Street St James s There he , .

’
.
,
finds Twemlow in his lodgings fresh from the hands of a ,
secret artist who has been doin g something to his hair with
yolks of eggs The process requiring that Twemlow shal l
.
,
for two hours after the application allow his hair to stick ,
upright and dry gradually he is i n an appropriate state for ,
the receipt of startling intelligence ; looking equally like

the Monument on F ish Street Hil l and King Priam on a ,
certain incendiary occ a sion not wholly unknown as a neat

point from the classics .
My dear Twemlow says Veneering grasping both his , ,

“
hands as the dearest and O ldest of my friends
,
“
( Then there can be no more doubt about it in future ,
thinks Twemlow “
an d I AM ,
—Are you of O pinion that your cousin Lord Snigs ,
worth would give his name as a Member of my Committee

,
I don t go so far as to ask for his lordship ; I only ask for

’ '
his name Do you think he would give me his name

.
In sudden low spirits Twemlo w replies “

I don t think , ,
’
”
he would .
My political opinions says Veneering not previously , ,
aware of having any are identical with those of L ord,
Sn i gs wo r th and perhaps as a matter of public feeling and

,
public principle Lord Sn i gs wor th would give m e his

,
name .
“
It might be so says Twemlow but ,
An d per
pl e xe d l y scratching his head forgetful of the yolks of eggs , ,
is the more d i s c o m fite d by being reminded how sticky he is .
“
Between such old and intimate friends as ourselves ,
“
pursues Veneering there should in such a case be no
,
reser ve Promi se me that if I ask you to do anything for

.
’
me which you don t like to do or feel the slightest diffi culty ,
”
in doing you will freely tell me so
,
.
This Twemlow is SO kind as to pro m i se with every appear

, ,
ance O f most heartily inte nding to keep his word .
“
Would you have any obj ection to write down to Snigs
worthy Park and ask this favour of Lord Sn i g s wor th
,
Of
course if it were granted I should know that I owed it sol ely
to you ; while at the same time you would put it to Lord
Sn i g s wo r th entirely upon public grounds Would you have .
any O bj ection
2
9 0 OUR MUTUAL F RI E ND
’
is . A woman s tact is invaluable To have the dear sex .
with us is to have everything with us

, .
“
But you have not imparted to me , remarks Veneer .
“
ing ,
what you think of my enteri ng the House of Com .
mons
“
I think rej oins Twemlow, feelingly that it is the best
, ,
”
club in London .
V en eeri ng again blesses him plunges down stairs rushes ,

-
,
into h i s Hansom and directs the driver to be up and at the

,
British Public and to charge into the City , .
Meanwhile Twemlow i n an increasing hu rry of Spir its , ,
gets his hair d o wn a s well as he can— which is not very well

for after these glutinous applications it is restive and has a ,
su rface on it somewhat in the nature of pastry— and gets to

the club b y the appointed time At the club he promptly .
secu res a large window writing m ate rials and all the news , ,
papers and establishes himself i m m o ve a bl e f to be respect

, ,
full y contemplated by Pall Mall Sometimes when a m a n .

,
“
enters who nods to him Twemlow says Do you know
NO member of the club
, ,
Ve n e e r m g ?
”
Man says ,
T wemlo w says “
Yes Coming in for Pocket Breaches -
Ma n says , Ah ! Hope he may find it worth the money !

. .
,
”
yawns and saunters out Towards six O clock of the after

, .
’
noon Twemlow begin s to persuade himself that he is posi

,
ti v e ly j aded with work and thinks it much to be regretted ,
that he was not brought up as a Parliamentary agent .
F rom Twe m l o w s Veneering dashes at Podsnap s place of ’
,
’
business F in ds Podsnap reading the paper Stan ding and

.
, ,
incl i ned to be oratorical over the astonishing discovery he has

made that Italy is not England Respectfully entreats Pod
,
.
snap s pardon for stopping the flow of his words of wisdom

’
and informs him what is in the wind Tells Podsn ap that .
their political O pinions are identical Gives Podsnap to .
understand that he Veneering formed his political opin ions , ,
while Sitting at the feet of him Podsnap Seeks earnestly

,
, .
to know whether Podsnap wil l rally round him

Says Podsnap something sternly Now fir s t of all
, , ,
.
,
”
Venee rin g do you ask my advice ?
,
Veneering falters that as so ol d and so dear a friend

“ “
Yes yes that s all very well says Podsnap
, ,
but have
’
you made up your mind to take this borough O f Pocket

Breaches on its own terms or do you ask m y O pinion whe th e r ,
you s hall take it or leave it alone

P O D SN AP W O R K S FO R V E N EE RING 2
91
Ve neeri ng repeats that his heart s des i re and his soul s ’ ’
thirst are that Podsnap shall r ally round him -

.
Now I ll be plain with you Veneering says Podsnap

’
, , ,
“ ’
knitting his brows You will infer that I don t care about
.
Parliament from the fact o f my not b eing there

,
.
Why of course Veneering knows that Of course Veneering

,
knows that if Podsnap chose to go there he wou ld be th ere , ,
in a space O f tim e that might be stated b y th e light and .

'
thoughtless as a j l ffy .
“
It is not worth my while pursues Podsnap becoming , ,
handsomely m o lli fie d and it is the reverse of important to

, . .
my position But it is not my wish to set m yself up as law

.
for another man differently situated You think it i s worth

,
.
y ou r wh i le and i s important
,
to y ou r position I S that so .
Always with the proviso that P odsnap will rally round .
h im Veneering thinks it is so
, .
“ ’
Then y o u don t ask my advi ce say s Podsnap Good ,
. .
Then I won t give it you But you do ask m y help Good

’
. . .
Then I ll work for you

’
.
”
Veneering instantly blesses h i m and a ppr i s e s h i m that ,
Twemlow is already working Podsnap does not quite .
a pprove that anybody should be already working— regarding
it rather in the li ght of a liberty— but tolerates Twemlow ,
and says he is a well conn ected old female wh o will do n o

harm .
“
I have nothing ver y particular to do to day adds Pod -
,
a n d I ll mix with some in fluential people

“
snap ,
’
I had .
engaged myself to dinner but I ll s en d Mrs Podsnap and ,

’
.
’
get off going myself and I ll dine with you at eight It s ,
’
.
important we should report progress and compare 11 o .
Now let me see You ought to have a couple of active

, .
”
energetic fellows of gent lemanly manner s to go about
, , .
Veneerin g after cogitation thinks of Boots and Brewer

, ,
.
“
Whom I have met at your hou se say s Pod snap Yes ,
”
. .
They ll do very well L et them each have a c ab and go

’
.
,
about .
Veneering immediate ly m entions what a blessing he feels

it to possess a friend capable of such grand administrative
,
suggestions and really is elated at t hi s going about of Boots

,
and Brewer as an idea wearing an election eering aspect

,
and looking desperate ly lik e business Leaving Podsnap at .

,
a hand gallop he descends upon Boots and Brewer wh o

-
, ,
e nthusiastically rally round him by at once boltin g O ff in

2
9
cabs taking opposite directions Then Veneering repai rs to
, .
’
the legal gentleman in Brita nnia s confidence and with h im ,
transacts some del icate affairs of business and iss ues an ,
address to the independent electors O f Pocket Breaches -

,
announcin g that he is comi ng a m ong them for the i r suffrages ,
as the mariner returns to the home O f his early childhood

a phrase whi ch is none the worse fo r h is never having been
near the pl a ce in his life and not even now di stinctly knowing ,
where it is .
Mrs Veneering during the same e v entful hours is not

.
idle NO sooner does the carriage turn out all complete

, ,
.
, ,
than she turns into it all complete and gives the word , , ,
“
To Lady Ti pp i n s s That charmer dwells over a stay
’
.
”
maker s in the Belgravi a n Borders with a l i fe Siz e model in

’
,
-
the windo w on the ground floor of a distinguished beauty in ,
a blue petticoat stay lace in hand looking over her shoulde r

,
-
,
at the town i n innocent surprise As well she may to find .

,
herself dressing u nder the circumstances .
Lady Tippins at h ome Lady Tippins a t home with the ,

’
ro om darkened and her back (like the lady s at the gr ound
,
floor window though for a different reason) cunningly turned

,
towards the light Lady Tipp i ns is so s u rprised by seeing

her dear Mrs Veneerin g so early —i n the middle of the night
.
t h e pretty creature ca l ls i t—that her eyelids al most go up

.
,
under the influence O f that emotion .
To whom Mrs Veneering incoherently communi cates how

.
,
that Veneering has bee n O ffered Pocket Breaches how that -
it is the time for rallyi ng round ; how that Veneering has

s aid ,
We must work h o w that she is here as a wife and ,
mother to entreat Lady Tipp i ns to work ; how that the

,
carriage is at Lady Ti ppi n s s disposal for purposes of work ; ’
h o w that Sh e proprietress of said bran new elegant equipage

,
-
,
will return home on foot — ou bleed i ng feet if need b e — to

work (not Specifying how) until she drops by the side of ,
baby s crib ’
.
My love says Lady Tippins compose yourself ; we ll

, ,
’
bring him i n And Lady Tippins really does work and

.
”
work the Veneering ho r ses too ; for Sh e clatters about town

a l l day calli ng upon everybody she knows and Showing her
, ,
.
entertaining powers and green fan t o immense advantage by ,
rattling on with My dear soul what do you t h ink ? What

, ,
d o you suppose me to be You ll never guess I m pretend ’ ’

.
ing to be an electioneering agent An d for what pl a ce of all .

2 94 OUR MUTU AL F RI E ND
baiting place and cast over the horses legs on the very sp ot
-
,
’
lest Boots and Brewer should have instant occasion to m ount

and away Those fleet messengers require the Analytical to
.
see that their hats are dep osited where they can be laid hol d
O f at an instant s notice ; and they dine (remar kably well
’
though ) with the air of firemen in charge of an engine ex ,
pe c ti n g intelligence of some tremendous c o n fla gr a ti on .
Mrs Veneer ing faintly remarks as dinner opens that

.
,
‘
many such days would be too much for her .
“
Many such days would be too much for all of us says ,
“
Podsnap but we ll bring him i n ’
“
We ll bri ng him in ! says Lady Tippins sportively
’ ”
,
“
waving her green fan Veneering for ever ! .
”
“
We ll bring him in ! says Twemlow
’ ”
.
We ll bring him in ! say Boots and Brewer

’ ”
.
Strictly speaking it woul d be hard to S how cau se why they

,
should not bring him in Pocket Breaches having cl osed its ,

-
little bargain and there being no O pposition However it is

,
.
,
“ ”
agreed that they must work to the last and that if they ,
did not work something indefinite would happen It is

,
.
l i kewi se agreed that they a r e all SO exh au sted with the work ‘
behind the m and need to be so fortified for the work before

,
’
the m as to require peculiar strengthening from Veneering s
,
cellar Therefore the Analytical has orders to produce the

.
,
cream O f the cream O f his bins and therefore it fall s out ,
that rallying becomes rather a trying word for the occasion

Lady Tippins being O bserved gamely to inculcate the n e c e s
s i ty of rearing round their dear Veneeri ng Podsna p a d v o
cating roaring round h i m Boots and Bre wer declaring their
intention of reeling rou nd h i m and Veneering thanking his
devoted friends one and all with great emotion for r a r u ll a , ,
r u l l in
g round him .
In these inspiring moments Brewer stri kes out an idea ,
which is the great hit of the day He consults his watch .

,
and says (li ke Guy Fawkes) he ll now go down to the House ,

’
O f Commons and see how things look .
’
I ll keep about the lobby for an hour or so says B rewer , ,
“
with a deeply mysterious countenance and if things look ,
well I won t come back but will order my c a b for nine in

,
’
the morning .
“ ’
Yo u coul dn t do bette r says Podsnap , ,
.
Veneering expresses his in ability ever to acknowledge this

last service Tears stand in Mrs Veneering s affectionate
. .
’
V E N EE RING ADDR ESSE S THE E L E CTO R S 2 95
eyes Boots shows envy loses ground and is regarded as
.
, ,
possessin g a second rate m i nd They all crowd to the door

to see Brewer Off Brew
.
.
“
er say s to his driver Now; is y our
.
,
h orse pretty fresh ? eyeing the animal with critical scrutiny .
Dr i v e I S ays he S as fresh as butter

’
’
Put him alo n g then .
“
says Brewer Hou se Of Commons Driver darts u p .
,
Brewer leaps in they cheer him as h e departs a n d Mr

, ,
.
“ ’
Podsnap says Mark my words Si r That s a m a n of
, ,
.
”
resource ; that s a man to make his way in life
’
.
When the time come s for Ve n eering to deliver a neat an d

appropriate stammer to th e men of P ocket Breaches only -
,
Podsnap and Twemlow accompany him by railway to that

sequ estered spot The legal gentleman is at the Pocket
.
Breaches Branch Station with an O pen carriage with a ,

“
printed bill Veneering for ever ! stu ck upon it as if it
,
”
,
were a wall ; and they gloriou sly proceed a m i d s t th e grins ,

'
of the populace to a feeble li ttle town hall on crutches with

, ,
some onions and bootlaces under it which the legal gentle

“
man says are a Market an d from the front window of that

edifice Veneering Speaks to th e listeni n g earth In the .
moment of his taking his hat O ff Podsnap as per agree m ent , ,
made with Mrs Veneering telegr aphs to that wife and

‘
.
,
“ ’ ”
mother ,
He s u p -
Veneering loses his way in the u su al NO Thoroughfares of

.
spee ch and Podsnap and Twemlow say He a r h e a r ! a n d

,
'
sometim es when he can t by any m ean s back himself out

,
’
of some very unlucky NO Thoroughfare He a a r He a a r ,

- - - - - -
with an air Of facetiou s conviction a s if the ingenuity of ,
the thing gave them a sensation of exquisite pl easure But .
Veneering makes two remarkably good points so good that ,
they are supposed to have be en suggested to him by the

’
l egal gentleman in Britannia s confidence while briefly c on ,
ferrin g on the stairs .
Point the first is this Veneeri ng institutes an original .
comparison between the country and a Ship ; pointedly

calling the ship the Vessel of the State and the Minister
, ,
’
the Man at the Helm Veneering s O bj ect is to let Pocket .
Breaches know that his friend on his right (Po d snap) i s

“
a man of wealth Consequ ently says b e . And gentlemen , , ,
when the timbers of the Vessel of th e State are u nsound

and the Man at the Helm is unskilful would those great ,
Marine Insu rers who rank among ou r world famed merchant -
—
,
princes would they insure her gentlemen ? Would they ,

under write her ? Would they m c u r a risk In her ? Would
they have confidence l n her ? Why gentlemen if I appealed , ,
to my honou rable friend upon my right himself among the ,
greatest and most respec ted of that great a n d much respected

class he would a nswer NO
,
Point the second is this The tel l ing fact that Twemlow .
is related to Lord Sn i gs wo r th must be let off Veneering , .
supposes a state of public affair s that probably never coul d

by any possibility exist (though this is not qu ite certai n in
consequence of h i s picture being unin telligible to himself
and eve r ybody else) and thus proceeds ,
Why gentlemen .
, ,
if I were to indicate such a programme to any class of

society I say it would be received with derision would
, ,
be pointed at by the finger O f scorn If I indicated such .
a programme to any worthy and intelligent tradesman of

your town — nay I will here be pe rsonal and say Our town
.
, ,
‘ ’
what would he reply ? He would reply Away with it ! ,
’
That s what he would reply gentlemen In his honest ,
.
‘
indignatio n he would reply Away with it ! B ut suppose ,
’
I mounted higher in the social scale Suppose I d rew my .
arm t hrough th e arm of my respected friend upon my left ,
and walking with him through the ancestral woods of h i s

,
famil y and under the spreading beeches of Sn i gs wo r th y

,
Park approached the noble hall c rossed the courtyard entered

, , ,
by the door went up the s taircase and passin g from room

, , ,
to room found myself at last in the august presence of my

,
friend s near kinsman Lord Sn i gs wor th

’
And suppose I
, .
-
‘
said to that venerable earl My Lord I am here before , ,
your lordship presente d by your lordship s near kin sman

,
’
m y friend upon my left to i ndicate that programme ; ,
what would his lo rdship answer ? W h y he would answer

'
’
, ,
Away with it ! That s what he would answer gentlemen

’ ’
,
.
‘
Away with it Un consciously using in his exalted Sphere , ,
the exact lan guage of the wo r thy a nd intelligent tradesman

of our town the near an d dear kinsman of my friend upon
,
‘
my left would answer in his wrath Away with it ! ,
Veneering finishes with this last success and Mr Podsn ap , .
“ ”
telegraphs to Mrs Veneering He s down .
,
’
.
Then d i nner is had at the Hotel with the legal gentle

man and then there are in d ue succes sion nomination and
, ,
declaration F inally Mr Podsnap telegraphs to Mrs Veneer

. . .
“ ”
ing We have brought him in
,
.
Another g orgeous dinner awaits them on their return to

A TO UCHING LITTL E INCID E NT 2 99
the Veneering halls and Lady Tippins awaits them and
,
.
Boots and Brewer await them There is a modest assertion .
“
on everybody s part that everybody single handed brought
’
-
him i n ; but in the main it is conceded by all that that ,

’
S troke of business on Brewer s part in going d own to the ,
Hou se that n ight to see how things looked was the maste r ,
stroke .
A touching little i ncident is related by Mrs Ve n eering in .

,
the course of the evening Mrs Veneerin g is habitually . .
disposed to be tearful and has an extra disposition that way

,
after her late excitement Previous to withdrawing from .
the dinner table with Lady Tipp i n s Sh e says in a pathetic

-
, ,
and physically weak manner

You will all think it foolish O f me I know but I must , ,
mention it As I sat by Baby s crib on the night before the

.
’
election Baby was very uneasy in her sleep

, .
”
The Analytical chemist who is gloomily looking on has, ,

“
diabolical impulses to suggest Wind an d throw up his
situation but represses them .
“
Afte r an interval almost convulsive Baby curled h e r ,
little hands in one another and smiled .

”
Mrs Veneering stopping here Mr Podsnap deems it

.
,
.
incumbent on him to say : I wonder wh y ! ”
“
Could it be I asked myself says Mrs Veneering
, ,
”
.
,
“
looking about her for her pocket handkerchief that the -
,
F airies were telling Baby that her papa would shortly be

an M P
. .
So overcome by the sentiment is Mrs Veneerin g that .

,
they all get up to make a clear stage for Veneerin g who ,
goes roun d the table to the rescue and bears h e r out ,
backward with her feet impress ivel y scraping the carpet

,
after remarking that her work has been too much for her
strength Whether the fairies made any mention of the
.
five thousand pounds and it disagreed with B aby is not

, ,
speculated upon .
Poor little Twemlow quite done up is touched an d still

, , ,
continues touched after he is safely housed over the livery

stable yard in D u ke Street Saint James s But there upon ,
’
.
,
his sofa a tremendou s consideration brea k s in upon the mil d

,
gentleman putting all softer considerations to the rout

,
.
“
Gracious heavens ! Now I have time to think of it h e ,
never saw one O f his constitu ents in all his days until we ,
saw them together ! ”

O UR MU TU AL F RI E ND
After having paced the room in distress of mind with his
,
hand to his forehead the i nnocent Twemlow returns to his

-
sofa and moans

“
I Shall either go distracted o r di e of this man He
-
, , .
comes upon me too late i n l i fe I am not strong enough

.
to be a r him 1
shallows of Podsnappery) that he co ul d not endure a hint of ,
disparagement of any friend o r ac quaintance of his How .
dare you he would see m to say in such a case “

What , .
do you mean ? I have licensed this person Thi s person .
has taken out my certificate Through t hi s person you .
strike at me Podsnap the Great And it is not that I

, .
particularly care for the person s dignity but that I do most ’
,
’ ”
particularly care fo r Podsnap s Hence if any one in hi s .
,
presence had presumed to doubt the respo n sibility of the

La m m l e s he would have been mightily hu ffed Not that
any one did for Veneering MP was always the authority
.
,
. .
, , ,
for their being very rich and perhaps believed it AS ,

.
indeed he might if he chose for anyth i ng he knew of the , ,
mat ter
Mr and Mr s La m ml e S house in Sackvil le Stree t Picca
.
’
'
. .
,
d illy was but a temporary residence

,
It had done well .
enough they informed their friends for Mr Lam m l e when

, ,
.
a bachelor but it woul d not do now SO they were always

,
.
looki ng at palatial residences in the best situations a n d ,
always very nearly taking or buyi ng one but never quite ,
con cluding the bargain Hereby they made for themselves .
a shining little reputation apart People said on seeing a .

,
vacant palatial residence The very thing for the La m m l e s ,
a n d wrote to the La m m l e s about it and the La m m l e s always ,
went to look at it but unfortunately it never exactly answered

,
.
I n short they su ffered so many disappo i ntments that they

, ,
began to think it would be necessary to buil d a palatial

residence And hereby they made another Shin ing reputa
.
tion ; many persons of their acquaintance becomi ng by

anticipation dissatisfied with their own houses and env ious ,
O f the non e xistent La m ml e structure

-
.
The handsome fittings and fu rni shings of the house i n

Sackville Street were piled thick and high over the skeleton
up s tairs and if it ever whispered from under its load of
,
upholstery “
Here I am in the closet ! it was to very fe w
,
”
ears and certainl y never to Miss Podsnap s What Miss

,
’
.
Podsnap was particularly charmed with next to the graces ,
of h er frie nd was the happiness O f her friend s married life

,
’
.
This was frequently their theme of conversation

I am sure said Miss Podsnap Mr La m m l e is li ke a
.
“ ”
.
, ,
lover At least I — I should think he was

Georgi ana darl i ng ! said Mrs Lam mi e holdin g up a
. .
”
.
, ,
“
forefinger Take care ! .
”
AL FR E D IS .
LI K E A L OV E R 0
3 3
Oh my goodness me exclaimed Miss Podsn ap re dden ,
What have I said now

Alfred you know, hinte d Mrs La m m le playfully shak
,
”
.
,
i n g her head You were neve r to say Mr La m m l e any

. .
more Georgiana
,
.
’
Oh Alfred then I am glad it s no worse I was afraid
,
. .
I had said something shock ing I am always saying some .
”
thing wrong to ma .
To me Georgiana dearest
NO not to you you are not ma I wish you were
,
. .
,
Mrs La m m l e bestowed a sweet and loving smile upon her

.
friend which Miss Podsnap returned as she best could

, .
They sat at lunch in Mrs La m m l e s own boudoir .

’
.
“
And so dearest G eorgiana Alfred is like your notion
, ,
of a lover
“ ’
I don t s a y that Sophronia Georgi ana replied begin , , ,
“ ’
ning to conceal her elbows I haven t any notion of a .
lover The d readful wretches that ma bri ngs up at places to

.
torment me are n ot lovers I only mean that Mr

, . .
Again dea r est Georgiana ?

,
That Alfred
Sou nds much be tter darli ng
—Loves you so He always treats you with such deli
.
,
’
cate gallantry and attention Now don t he .
,
“ ”
Truly my dear said Mrs La m m l e with a rather sin
, ,
.
,
“
gular expression crossing her face I believe that he loves .
me fully as mu ch as I love him .

”
”
Oh what happiness ! exclaimed Miss Podsnap
,
.
B ut do you know my G eorgiana Mrs La m m le resumed , ,

”
.
“
presently that there i s something suspiciou s in your
,
’
enthu sias tic sympathy with Alfred s tenderness
Good graciou s no I hope not ,
Doesn t it rather suggest sa id Mrs La m m l e archly

’
,
”
.
,
’
that my Georgiana s little hear t is
Oh don t Miss Podsnap blushingly besought her
’
.
’
Please don t ! I assure you Sophronia that I only praise , ,
Alfred becau s e he is your husband and SO fond of you

, .
Sophronia s glan c e wa s as if a rather new light broke in

’
upon her It shaded o ff into a cool smil e as Sh e said with

.
, ,
her eyes upon her lunch and her eyebrows raised ,

“
You are quite wrong my love in your guess at my , ,
’
meani ng What I insinuated was that my Georgiana s
.
-
little heart was growi ng conscious of a vacancy .

NO no no said Georgiana
, ,
I wouldn t have anybody
, .
“
’
’
say anyt hi ng to me in that way for I don t kn ow how many

”
thousand pounds
in quired Mr s La m m l e
.
I n what way my Georgiana ? , .

,
stil l sm iling coolly with her eyes upon her lunch and her , ,
eyebrows raised .
“ ” “
Y ou k now retur ned poor little Miss Podsnap
,
I th i nk .
I should go out of my mind Sophronia with vexation an d , ,
shyness and detestation if anybody did It s enough for me ,

.
’
to see how loving you and your h usband are That s a .

’
different t h ing I couldn t bear to have anythi ng of that

.
’
sort going on with myself I should beg and pray to .

‘
”
to have the person taken away and trampled upon .
Ah ! here was Alfred Having stolen in unobserved he .

,
playfu lly leaned on the back of Sophronia s chai r and as ’
, ,
Mis s Podsnap saw him put one of Sophronia s wandering ,

’
locks to h is lips and waved a kiss fr om it towar ds Mi ss

.
,
Podsnap .
What is this about husbands and detestations i nqui red

the ca ptivating Alfred .
“ “
Why they say returned his wife that lis teners never ”
hear any good of them selves ; though you —but pray how
, , ,
long have you been here Si r ,

“
This instant arrived my own
Then I may go o n —though if you had be en h ere a
.
,
‘
moment or two sooner you would have heard your prai ses ,
sounded by Georgiana .
”
Only if they were to be called praises at all w hi ch I

, ,
”
real ly don t th i nk they were explai ned Mis s Podsnap i n a
’
,
“
flutter for being so devoted to Sophronia
,
.
”
“ “
Sophronia murmured Al fr ed My life ! and ki s sed .
”
her hand In return for which she ki s sed his watch

.
chain .
“
But it was not I who was to be taken away an d trampled
upon I hope
,
said Alfred drawing a seat between them ,
.
Ask Georgiana my soul replied hi s wife , ,

.
Al fred touchingly appealed to Georgiana .
“
Oh it was nobody replied Miss Podsnap
,
It was ,
”
.
.
nonsense .
But if you are determ i ned to know Mr In quisiti ve Pet ,

.
,
as I suppose you are sai d the happy and fond Soph roni a ,
”
,
smil i ng “
it was any one wh o should v enture to aspi re to
,
Georgiana .
”
’ ”
Oh ple e e e a se don t !
, _
-
cried Georgiana as if the
- -
,
supplication were being squ eezed out O f her by powe r fir l

‘
“
co m pression I S O hate him for sayin g it !
.
”
“
F or saying what my dear ? laughed Mrs La m m l e , . .
”
Oh I don t know what he said cried Georgiana wildly
,
’
, ,
but I hate h i m all the same for saying it .
“
My dear, said Mrs La m m l e always laughing in her
”
.
,
“
mo st captivating way the poor young fellow only says that ,
”
he is stricken all of a heap .
“ “ ”
Oh what Shall I ever do ! interposed Georgiana
,
Oh .
,
my goodness what a fool he must be ,

— And implores to be asked to dinner and to make a
,
fourth at the play another time And so he dines to morrow .

-
’
and goes to the Opera with us That s all Except my . .
,
—
dear Georgiana and what will you think of this — that he
is infinitely shyer than you a nd far more afraid of yo u than ,
you ever were of any one in all you r days

In perturbation of mind Miss Podsnap Still fumed and
pl u cked at her hands a little but could not help laughing ,
’
at the notion of anybody s being afraid of her With that .
advantage Sophronia flattered her and rallied her more

,
successfully and then the ins i nuating Alfred flattered her

,
and rallied her and promis ed that at any moment when she
,
might require that service at his hands he would take young ,
Fl e d ge b y out and trample on him Thu s it remained amicably .
understood that young Fl e d ge b y was to come to admire and ,
that Georgiana was to come to be admired ; and Georgiana

with the entirely new sensation in her breast of having that
prospect before her and with many kis s es from her dear
,
Sophronia in present possession preceded Si x feet one of ,
discontented footman (an amount O f the article that always

came for her when Sh e walked home) to her father s ’
dwelling .
The happy pair being left together Mrs Lamm i e said to ,

.
her husband
“
If I understand this girl sir your dangerou s fasci nations , ,
have produced some effect upon her I mention the conquest .
in good time because I apprehend your scheme to be more

,
important to you than your vanity .
There was a mirror on the wall before them and her eyes ,
j ust caught him smirking in it She gav e the reflected image .
a look of the deepest disdain and the i mage received it in the ,
glass Next moment they quietly eyed each other as if they

.
, ,
LAMMLE S
’
MR . F RI E ND S 307
the principals had had no part in that expressive trans
,
action .
It may have been that Mrs La m m l e tried i n some manner .
to excuse her conduct to herse lf by depreciatin g th e poor

li ttle victi m of whom she spoke with acrimoniou s contempt .
It may have been too that in this she did not quite su cceed ,
for it i s very difficult to resist confidence and she knew she .
had Georgian a s ’
.
Nothing more was said between the happy pair Perhaps .
conspirators who have once established an understanding

, ,
may not be over fond of repeat i ng the terms and O bj ects of

-
their conspiracy Next day came ; came Georgiana ; a n d

.
came Fl e d g e b y .
Ge orgiana had by this time seen a good deal of the hou se

a n d its frequ enters AS there was a certain handsome room
.
with a billiard table in i t— ou the ground floor eating out ,
a back yard — whi ch might have been M r La m m l e s office

’
-
.
,
or library but was called by neither nam e but simply Mr

, , .
La m m l e s room S O it wo ul d have been hard for stro n ger

’
female heads than Georgiana s to determine whether its ’
frequenters were men of pleasure or men of business .
Between the room and the men there were stro n g points
of general resemblance Both were too gaudy too slangy .
, ,
t oo odorous of cigars and too much given to h o r s e fle s h ;

,
the latter characteristic being exemplifi ed in the room by its

decorations and in the men by their conversation High
, .
steppin g horses seemed necessary to all Mr La m m l e s friends .

’
— as necessary as their transaction of business together in

a gipsy way at untimely hours Of the morni n g and evenin g ,
and in rushes and snatches There were friends who seemed .
to be always coming and going across the Channel on errands ,
about the B ourse and Greek an d Spanish and India and

,
Mexican an d par an d premiu m and discount a n d three

quarters and seven eighths There were other fri ends who .
seemed to be always lolling and lounging i n and out of th e

City on questions of the Bourse and Greek and Spanish
, ,
and India and Mexican and par and premium and discount
and three qu arters and seven eighths They were all .
feveri sh boastful and i n d e fin a b l y loose ; and they all ate

, ,
and drank a great deal ; and made bets in eating and

d rink i ng They all spoke of sums O f money and only
.
,
mentioned the s u ms and left the money to be understood ;

“ “ ”
as five an d forty thousand Tom or Two hundre d and ,
twenty two on ever y individual share in the lot J oe
-
They .
seemed to div ide the world into two classes of people pe opl e
who were making enormous fortunes and people who were ,
being enormously ruined They were always in a hurry and .

,
yet seemed to have nothing tangible to do ; except a few of -
them (these mostly asthmatic and thick lipped) who were for
,
-
ever demonstrating to the rest with gold pencil cases which ,

-
they could hardly hold because of the big ri ngs on their

for e fin g e r s how money was to be made
, Las tly they all .
,
swo re at their grooms an d the grooms were not quite as ,

’
respectful or complete as other men s grooms ; see mi ng
somehow to fall short of the groom point as their maste rs
fell Short of the gentleman point .
Young Fl e d ge b y was none of these Young Fl e d g e b y had .
a peachy cheek or a cheek compounded of the peach and,
the red red red wall on which it grows and was an awkward , ,
sandy haired small eyed youth exceeding Sl i m (his enemies

-
, ,
would have said lanky) and prone to self examination in th e ,
articles of whisker and mousta che While feelin g for the .
whisker that he a n x iously expected Fl e d ge b y underwent ,
remarkable fluctuations of spirits ranging along the whole ,
scale from confidence to despair There were times when .
“
he started as exclaimi ng ,
By Jupiter here it is at , ,
”
last ! There were other times when being equall y de ,
pressed he would be seen to shake hi s h e a d and give up

,
hope To see h i m at those periods leaning on a chi m ney

.
piece like as on an urn containi ng the ashes of hi s ambition

, ,
with the cheek that would not sprout upon the hand on ,
which that cheek had forced conv iction was a dis tressi ng ,
sight .
Not s o was Fl e d g e b y seen on this oc c a sion Arrayed in .
superb r aiment with his O pera hat under hi s arm b e con

'
, ,
cluded his self examination hopefully awaited the arrival of

-
,
Miss Podsnap and talked small talk with Mrs Lam m l e In

,
-
. .
facetious homage to the smallness of his talk and the j erky ,
nature of hi s manners Fl e d ge b y s fami liars had agreed to ,

’
confer upon h i m (be hind his back) the honorary title of

F ascination Fl e d ge b y
Warm weather Mrs La m m l e said F ascination Fl e d g e b y
.
“
. .
, ,
Mrs La m m l e thought it scarcely as warm as it had been

.
yesterday “
Perhaps not said F ascination Fl e d ge b y with
.
,
”
,
great quickness of repartee “

but I expect it will be devi lish
warm to morrow -
.
3 10 O UR MUTUAL FRI E ND
Now I will be j udged s ai d Mr La m m le , raisi ng his
, ,
.
voice a little by my friend Fl e d ge b y

, .
“
Oh D O N T Miss Po dsnap faintly ejaculated when Mrs
’
.
La m m l e took the prompt book -

.
“
I beg your pardon Alfred my dear but I cannot part , , ,
with Mr Fl e d ge b y quite yet ; you must wait for him a

.
moment Mr Fl e d g e b y and I are en gaged in a pe rsonal

. .
discussion .
Fl e d ge b y mu st have conduc ted it on his side wi th immense

art for no appearance of uttering one syllable had escaped
,
A personal discussion Sophronia , ,

my love ? What
disc u ssion Fl e d g e b y I am j ealous ,
. What discussion ,
Fl e d ge b y ?
Shall I tell him Mr Fl e d ge b y asked Mrs La m m l e ,

. . .
Tryin g to look as if he knew anything about it F ascina ,

“ ”
tion replied Yes tell him , ,
.
“ “
We were d i scu ssing then said Mrs La m m l e if you , .
,
m u s t know Alfred whether Mr Fl e d g e b y was in his usual

, ,
.
flow of spirits .
Why that is th e very point Sophro ni a that Georgiana

, , ,
and I were discuss i ng as to herself ! What did Fl e d ge b y

say ? ”
Oh a likely thing Sir that I am going to tell you

, , ,
everythi ng and be told nothing ! What did Geo r giana

,
say ? ”
'
G eorgiana s ai d Sh e was doing her usual j ustice to h e rs e lf

”
to day and I said she was not
-
,
.
Precisely exclaimed Mrs La m m l e what I said to Mr

,
”
.
,
.
Fl e d g e b y .
”
’
Still it wouldn t do They would not look at one another
,
. .
No not even when the Sparkling host proposed that the

,
quartette should take an appropriately sparkling glass of

wine Georgiana looked from her win e glass a t Mr La m m l e
.
-
.
’ ’ ’
and at Mrs La m m l e ; but mightn t couldn t Shouldn t
.
, , ,
wouldn t look at Mr Fl e d ge b y F asc i nation looked from

’
, . .
his wine glass at Mrs La m m l e and at Mr Lam m l e but

-
. .
mightn t couldn t shouldn t wouldn t look at Georgiana

’
,
’
,
’
,
’
,
.
More prompting was necessary Cup i d mu st be brought .
up to the mark The manager had put him down in the .
b i ll for the part an d he must play it ,

.
“
Sophronia my dear said Mr La m m l e , I don t lik e the
, ,
”
.
’
”
colou r of your dress .
W H AT D OE S G EO RGY SAY ? 3 1 1
“
I appeal Mrs La m m le
,
to Mr Fl e d ge b y
Said .
,
“
. .
”
And I said Mr Lam mi e to Georgiana
,
”
.
, .
Georgy my love remarked Mrs La m m l e aside to her

, ,
”
.
dear gi rl I rely upon y ou not to go over to the O pposition

,
.
Now Mr Fl e d g e b y
,
. .
”
F ascination wished to know if the colour were not called

r ose colour
-
Yes said Mr La mm l e actu ally he knew every
, .
t h i ng ; it was real ly rose colour F ascination took rose colou r -

.
-
to mean the colour o f roses (I n this he was very warm ly .
supporte d by Mr and Mrs Lam m l e ) F ascination had heard

. . . .
the term Queen O f F lowers applied to the Rose Similarly .

,
it might be said that the dress Wa s the Queen Of Dresses

( Very happy Fl e d ge b y ! from Mr La m m l e ) No twi th
.
“ ”
. .
,
standing F ascination s O pinion was that we all had our eyes ’
—O r at least a large maj ority of u s — and that —and — and

,
his further O pi n ion was several ands with nothing beyond ,
them .
“
Oh Mr Fl e d ge b y said Mrs La m m l e to desert me in
,
.
“
,
.
,
that way ! Oh ! Mr Fl e d g e b y to abandon m y poor dear .

,
inj ured rose an d declare for blue

“ ”
Victory victory ! cried Mr La m m l e ; you r d ress is
, .
condemned my dear ,
.
“
But what said Mrs La m m l e stealing her a ffectionate
,
”
.
,
“
han d towards her dear girl s what does Georgy say ’
She says replied Mr La m m l e interpreting for her

‘
.
, , ,
that i n her eyes you look well in any colour Sophronia

‘
, ,
and that i f s h e had expec ted to be embarrassed by so pretty

a compliment as Sh e has received she would have worn ,
another colour herself Th ough I tell her in reply that it .

, ,
would not have saved her for whatever colour she had worn ,
woul d have been Fl e d ge b y s colour But what does Fle d ge b y ’

.
”
say ?
He says replied Mrs La m m l e in terpreting for him
, .
, ,
and patting the back of her dear girl s hand as if i t were ’
Fl e d ge b y who was patting it “

that it was no compliment , ,
’
but a li ttle natural act of homage that he couldn t resist .
And expressing more feeling as if it were more feeling on

,
”
the part of Fl e d ge b y “
he is right he is right ! , ,
”
Stil l no not even now would they look at one another

'
.
, , ,
Seemi ng to gnash his sparkling teeth studs eyes and buttons , , , ,
all at once Mr La m m l e sec retly bent a dark frown on the

,
.
two expressive of an intense desire to bring them together

,
by knocking their heads together .

3 MUTU AL F RI E ND
”
12 OUR
Have you heard this O pera of to ni ght Fl e d ge b y he ,

? ”
asked stopping ver y Short to prevent himself from ru nni ng

, ,
‘
‘ ”
on into confound you .
“
Why no not exactly sa id Fl e d ge b y
, , In fact I don t , .
’
know a note of it .
”
“
Neither do you know it Georgy ? said Mrs La m m l e , . .
”
N no re plied Georgiana faintly under the sympathetic
-
, , ,
coincidence .
‘
Why then said Mrs La m m l e charmed by the discovery
f
, , .
,
wh i c h fl o we d from the premises you neither of you kno w ,

”
it ! How charming !
Even the craven Fl e d g e b y felt th a t t h e time was now come
wh e n h e must strike a blow He struck it by saying partly .
.
,
“
to Mrs La m m l e and partly to the circumambient a ir
. I ,
consider myself very fortunate in be ing reserved by

As he stopped dead Mr Lam mi e m aki n g that gi ngerou s , .
,
bush of his whiskers to look out O f O ffered hi m the word ,

”
Destiny .
No I wasn t going to say that said Fl e d g e b y

,
’
I was , .
going to say F ate I consider it very fortunate that F ate .
has written in the book O f— i n the book which is its own

,
property— that I should go to that opera for the first time

under the memorable cir cumstan ces of going with Miss
”
Po dsnap .
To which Georgiana replied hook ing her two l ittle fingers

-
,
‘
i n o n e another and addressing the table cloth ,
Thank you -
, ,
but I generally go with no one but you Sophronia a nd I lik e , ,

”
that very much .
Content perforce with this success for the time Mr La m m le ,

.
let Miss Podsnap out of the room as if he were Opening her ,
cage door and Mrs La m m l e followed Coffee being presently

,
. .
served u p stairs he kept a watch on Fl e d g e b y u ntil Miss

-
,
Podsnap s cup was empty and then directed him with his
’
finger (as if that young gentleman were a Slow Retriever) to -
go and fetch it This feat he performed n ot only without

.
,
failure but even with the original embellishment of informing

,
Miss Podsnap that green tea was considered bad for the
nerves Though there M i ss Podsnap unintentionall y threw
.
“
him o ut by faltering Oh is it indeed ? How d o e s i t act ? , ,
Which he was n ot prepared to elucidate

The carriage announced Mrs La m m l e said Do nt mind
.
“ ’
, .
,
me Mr Fl e d ge b y my skirts and cloak occupy both my

, .
,
hands ; take Miss Podsnap And he took her and Mrs .

,
.
1
3 4 MUTU
O URA L F RI E ND
self perhap s
,
But I tell you this — when that young fello ws ’
interest is concerned he holds as tight as a horse leech

,
-
.
When money is in qu estio n with that young fellow he is a ,
match for the Dev i l .

”
I S he a match for you

He is Al most as goo d a one as you thought me for you
. .
He has no quality of youth in him but such as you have

"
,
seen to day Touch him upon money and you touch no

-
.
,
booby then He really 1 s a dolt I suppose in other things

.
, ,
”
but it answers his one purp ose very well .
Has she money in h e r own right in any case

'
Aye she has money i n her own right in any case You .
have done so well to day Sophronia that I answer the ques

-
, ,
tion though you know I obj ect to any such questions You
,
.
have done so well to day Sophronia that you must be tired

-
, ,
.
”
Get to bed .
C HAP T ER V
M ER C URY P RO MP TI NG
PLE D G ERY deserved Mr Alfred La m m l e s eulogium He was ’

. .
the meanest cur existing with a Si ngle pair of legs And

,
.
in stinct (a word we all clearly understand ) going l a 1 ge l y on

fou r legs and reason always on two meann ess on fou r legs
, ,
never attains the perfection of m eanness on two .
The father of this young gentleman had been a money

lender who had transa cted professional business with the
,
mother of this young gentleman when h e the latter was , , ,
waiting in the vast dark ante chambers of the present world -
to be born The lady a widow being u nable to pay the

.
, ,
money lender married him and in due course Fl e d ge b y was

-
, ,
summoned out o f the vast dark ante chambers to come and

be presented to the Re gi s tr a r ~
-
G e neral Rather a curiou s .
Speculation h ow Fl e d g e b y would otherwise have disposed of
his leisure until Doomsday .
Fl e d g e b y s mother o ffended her family by marrying

’
Fl e d g e b y s father
’
It is one of the easiest achievements in
.
life to Offend you r family when your family want to get rid
of you Fl e d ge b y s mother s family had been very much
.
’ ’
o ffended with her for being poor and broke with her fo r ,
becoming comparatively rich Fl e d g e b y s m other s family was .

’ ’
the Sn i gs wor th family She had even the high hon our to be
cous i n to Lord Sn i g s wor th —s o m a n y times removed that the
.
noble Earl would have had no compunction in removing her “
one time more and dropping her clean outside the co u sinly
pale but cousin for all that .
Among her pre matrimonial transactions with Fl e d g e b y s ’

’
-
father Fl e d g e b y s mother had raise d m oney of him at a great

,
’
di sadvantage on a certain reversionary interest The reversion .
falling in soon after they were married Fl e d g e b y s father laid ,

’
hold of the cash for his separate u se and benefit This led .
to subjective differences of opinion not to say obj ective ,
interchanges of boot j acks backgammon boards and other

-
, ,
such domestic missiles between Fl e d ge b y s father and ,
’
Fl e d ge b y s mother and those led to Fl e d g e b y s mother

’
,
’
Spending as much money as she could and to Fle d g e b y s ,

’
father d oing all h e couldn t to restrain her Fl e d ge b y s child ’

.
’
hood had been i n consequen ce a stormy one but the winds

, ,
and the waves had gone do wn in the grave, and Fl e d ge b y

flou rished alone .
He lived in chambers in the Albany did Fl e d g e b y an d , ,
maintained a spruce appearance But his youthful fire was .
all composed of sparks from the grindstone and as the sparks

fle w O ff went out and never warmed anyth i ng be sure that
, , ,
Fl e d g e b y had his too l s at the grindstone, and turned it with

a wary eye .
Mr Alfred La m m l e came round to the Albany to breakfast

.
with Fl e d ge b y Present on the table one scanty pot of tea

.
, ,
one scanty loaf two scanty pats of butter two scanty rashers
, ,
of bacon two pitiful eggs and an abundance of handsome

, ,
china bought a second hand bargain -

.
“
What did you think of Georgiana asked Mr Lam mi e . .
Why I ll tell you said Fl e d ge b y very deliberately

,
’
,
.
Do my boy , .
You misunderstand me said Fl e d g e b y I don t mean ,

.
’
”
I ll tell you that I mean I ll te ll you something else
’
.
’
.
Tell me anything O ld fellow ,
Ah but there you mi sun derstand me agai n said Fl e d ge b y

, ,
.
’ ”
I mean I ll tel l you nothing .
Mr La m m l e sparkled at him but frowned at him too

.
,
.
“
Look here said Fl e d g e b y “
You re deep and you re
,
”
.
’ ’
ready Whether I am deep or n ot never mind I am not

.
,
.
ready B u t I can do one thing La m m l e I can hold my

’
.
, ,
tongue And I intend al ways doing it

. .
”
You are a long head ed fellow Fl e d g e b y -

,
.
May be or may not be If I am a Short tongued fellow

,
.
-
,
it may amount to the same thing Now La m m l e I am never .

, ,
going to answer qu estions .
‘ ”
My dear fellow it was the simplest question in th e world ,
.
‘
Never mind It seemed so but things are not al ways
'
.
,
what they seem I saw a man exam i ned as a witness in .
Westminster Hall Questions put to him seemed the simplest .
in the world but turned out to be anything rather than that

,
,
after h e had answered em Very well Then he Should have ’

. .
held his tongue If he h ad held his tongue he would have .
”
kept out of scrapes that he got into .
3 18 O UR MUTUAL F RI END
calculated to Sho w to advantage under that sort of circum
stances I know very well you two did Show to advan tage
.
,
’
and mana ged capitally But don t you on that acco u nt come .
talking to me as if I was your doll and puppet beca use I am ,

”
not .
And all this cri ed Alfred aft er Stu dying with a look
, ,
the meanness that was fain to hav e and ”
yet was so mean as to turn upon it all this because of one

S imple natural question
“
You should have wai te d till I thought proper to say
something about it of myself I don t like your coming over .
’
me with your Georgianas as if you was h e r p r op r i e to r and

i
,
.
mine too .
Well when you are in the gracious mind to say anything

,
“
about it of yourself retorted La m m l e p r ay do ,
”
, .
”
I have done it I have s aid you managed capitally .

‘
Y o u and your wife both If you ll go on managin g capitally ’

.
,
’ ”
I ll go on doing my part Only don t crow
’
. .
I crow ! exclaimed La m m le shrugging his Shoulders

”
, .
”
Or pursued the other
,
or ta k e i t in your head that
’
people are your puppets be cause they don t come out to
advantage a t the particular moments when you do with the ,
assistance of a very clever and agreeable wife All the rest .
keep on doing and let Mrs La m m l e keep on d oing Now

,
. .
,
I have held my tongue when I thought proper,and I have

S poken whe n I thought proper and there s an end of that
’
, .
And now the question is proceeded Fl e d ge b y with the ,

”
,
greatest relu ctance will you have another egg ,
NO I won t said La m m l e shortly

,
’
,
”
’
.
Perhaps you re right and will find yourself bette r without

it replie d F ascination in grea tly improved spi r its
,
’
To ,
.
ask you if yo u ll have another rasher would be unmeaning

’
flattery for it wo u ld make you thirsty all day Will yo u

"
.
,
have some more bread and butter ?

”
No I won t repeate d La m m l e
,
’
, .
Then I will said F ascination And it was not a me re

, .
’
retort for the sound s sake but was a cheerful cogent con ,
s e qu e n c e o f the refusal ; for if La m m l e had applied himself

agai n to the loaf i t would have been so heavi ly visited in
, ,
Fl e d ge b y s opinion as to demand abstinence from bread on

’
, ,
his part for the remainder of that meal at least if not for
, ,
the whole of the next .
Whether this young gentleman (for he was but three and -

L . S . D .
319
twenty) combined with the miserly vice of an old m a n a n y ,
of the open handed vices of a young one , was a moot point

-
so very honourably did he k eep his own counsel He was .
sensible of the value of app earances as an investment and ,
liked to dress well but he drove a bargain for every

moveable about h im from the coat on his back to th e c h ina ,
on his breakfast table ; and every bargain by representi n g

-
,
somebody s ruin or somebo dy s l oss acquired a peculiar charm

’ ’
for him It was a part of his avarice to take within narrow

.
,
bounds long odds at races ; if h e won he d rove h arder

, ,
bargains if he lost he half starved him self until next time

,
.
Why money Should be so preciou s to an As s too du l l and

‘
mean to exchange it for any other satisfaction is stra n ge ; ,
but there is no animal so sure to get laden with it as the ,
Ass wh o sees n othin g written on the face of the earth an d

sky but the three letters L S D — not L u xury Sensuality . . .
, ,
Dissoluteness which they often stan d for but the three d r y

, ,
letters You r con centrated F ox is seldom comparable to your

.
concentrated Ass in money bree ding -

.
F ascin ation Fl e d ge b y feigned to be a yo u n g ge n tleman

l iving on his means but was kn own s ecretly to be a kind of
,
outlaw in the bil l broking line and to put m oney out at high
-
,
interest in various ways His circle Of fa miliar acquaintance .

,
from Mr La m m l e round all h a d a touch of the outlaw as to

.
, ,
their rovings in the merry greenwoo d of J ob b e r y F orest lyin g ,
on the o utsk irts of the Share Market and the Stock Exch a nge .
I suppose you La m m l e s aid Fl e d g e b y eating his bread ” '
, , ,
and butter always did go in for female society ?

,
”
Always replied La m m l e glooming con siderably under

, ,
his late treatment .
“
Came natural to you eh sa id Fl e d g e b y ,
.
The sex were pleased to like m e s i r said La m m l e , ,
sulkily but with the air of a man who had not been able to
,
h elp h i mself .
“ ’
Made a pretty good thing of marryi n g didn t you ? ,
asked Fl e d g e b y .
The other smiled (an ugly smile) and tapped one tap up on ,
his nose .
“
My late governor made a mess of it said Fl e d g e b y ,
.
But G e or is the right name Georgin a or Georgiana

Georgiana .
I was think i ng yesterday I didn t k now there was such ,

’
”
a name I thought i t m u s t en d in ina
'
. .
Why 6
) 9,
W h y you play— if yo u can — the Concertina y o u kno w

, , ,
replied Fl e d g e b y meditating very Slowly An d you have

when you catch it —
, .
the Scarlatina And you can come down .
from a balloon in a pa r a c h no you can t though Well ,

’
.
say G e o r g e u te —I mean Georgiana

, ,
You were going to remark of Georgiana La m m l e

moodily hinted after waiting in vain ,
.
“
I was going to remark of Georgiana sir sa id Fl e d g e b y , , ,
not at all pleased to be reminded of his having forgotten it ,

“ ’
tha t she don t seem to be violent Don t seem to be of the
’
“
pitching i n order -
.
”
“
She has the gentleness of the dove Mr Fl e d g e b y , . .
Of course yo u ll say so replied Fl e d ge b y sharpening

,
’
, , ,
the moment his interest was touched by another But you

know the real look out is this —what I say not what you
.
-
,
say I say— having my la te governor and my late mother

in my eye —that Georgiana don t seem to be of the pitchin g
.
i n order
”
.
The respected Mr La m m l e was a bully by natu re and by .

,
usual practice P erceiving as Fl e d ge b y s a ffr on ts c u m u l a te d

'
’
.
, ,
that conciliation by no means answered the purpose here he ,
now directed a scowling look into Fl e d g e b y s small eyes for ’
the effect of the O pposite treatment Satisfied by what he .
s a w there he burst into a v iolent passion and struck his

,
hand upon the table making the china ring and dance , .
“
You are a very offensive fell ow Si r cried Mr La m m l e , ,
”
. ,
“
rising . Y o u are a highly Offensive scoundrel What do .
you mean by this behaviour ?

“
I say remonstrated Fl e d ge b y
,
” “
Don t break out .
’
.
You are a very O ffensive fellow sir repeated Mr , , .
“
La m m l e Yo u are a highly offensive scoundrel
.
“
I s a y you know ! urged Fl e d g e b y qu a iling
,
”
, .
Why you coarse and vulgar vagabond

,
said Mr .
“
Lammi e looking fiercely about him
, if you r s e r va n t wa s ,
.
here to give me S ixpence of your money to get my boots

cleaned afterwards —for you are not worth the expenditure
I d kick you
’ ”
.
N 0 you wouldn t pleaded Fl e d ge b y

,
I a m sure you d’
,
”
.
’
”
think better of it .
I tell you what Mr Fle d ge b y said La m m l e advancing , .

, ,
“ ’
on him .Since you presume to contradict me I ll as sert ,
”
myself a little Give me your nose g
.
there ensued great geniality F or he was quite as much of .
a dastard as the other and h a d been i n equ al danger Of

,
falling into the sec ond place for good when he took heart ,
j u st in time to act upon the i n formation conveyed to him by

Fl e d g e b y s eye
’
.
The breakfast ended m a perfect understanding Inces s ant .
machinatio n s we1 e to be kept at work by Mr and Mrs . .
Lam m l e ; love was to be made for Fl e d g e b y and conques t ,
was to be i nsured to him ; he on his p ar t very humbly

ad mi tting his defects as to the softer socia l a rts and entreat ,
ing to be backed t o the utmost by hi s two able coadj utors .
Little r e e k e d Mr Podsnap of the traps and toils besetting

.
his Young Person He regarded her as safe within the

.
Temple of Podsn appery bid i ng the fulness of t i me when

,
Sh e Georgiana should take him F itz Podsnap who with all

, , ,
-
,
his worldly goods S hould her endow It would cal l a blush .
into the cheek of his standard Young Person to have anythi n g

to do with such matters save to take as directe d and wi th
'
worldly goods as per settlement t o be endowed Who giveth .
this woman to be m ar ried to this man I Podsnap Peri sh ,

.
the daring thought that any smaller creation should come

between !
It was a public holiday and Fl e d g e b y did not recover his
,
spirits or his usual te mperature O f nose until the afternoon ‘
Walk i ng into the City i n the holiday afternoon he wal ked ,
agai nst a li vi ng Stream setti ng out of it ; and th u s when ,
he turned in to the preci ncts of St M ary Axe he found a .

,
prevalent repose and quiet there A yellow overhanging .
plaster fronted house at w hi ch he stoppe d was quiet too

-
.
The bli nd s were all drawn down and the ins cription P u b s e y ,
and Co see med to doze in the counting house window on

.
-
the ground floor giv i ng on the sleepy stree t .
Fl e d g e b y knocked and rang and Fl e d ge b y rang and ,
knocked but no one came Fl e d ge b y crossed the narro w

“
.
,
street and looked up at the house windo ws but nobody -

,
looked down at Fl e d ge b y He got out of temper crossed

.
,
the narrow street again and pul led the house bell as if it
,
-
were the house s nose and he were taking a hint from h i s

’
l ate experience His ear at the keyhole seemed then at last

.
, ,
to give h i m assurance that somethi ng stirre d within His ey e .
at the keyhole seemed to confirm h is ear for he angrily pulled ,
the house s nose again and pulled and pu l led and cont i nued
’
to pull until a human nose appeared in the dark door way

,
.
FLE DG E BY AND THE O LD J EW 3 2 3
Now you sir ! cried Fl e d ge b y
,
These are ni c e games ! .
“ ”
He addressed an old Jewish man in an ancient coat long ,
of skirt and wide of pocket A venerable man bald a n d

,
.
,
shini ng a t the top of h is lon g grey h ai r

‘
flowi ng down at its Sides and minglin g with his beard A .
man who with a graceful Eastern actio n of homage bent his

h ea d an d stretched out his hands with the palms downw ar d
'
a s if to deprecate the wrath of a superior .
“
What have you been u p to said Fl e d g e b y storm i ng ,
at him .
“
Generous Christian master urged the Jewish man it
“
, ,
”
being holiday I looked for n o one ,
.
“
Holiday be blowed said Fl e d g e b y enterin g “
Wha t ,
.
have y ou got to do with holidays ? Shut the door .
With his former action the old man obeyed In the ent ry .
hung his rusty large b rimmed low crowned hat as long out - -
,
of date as his coat in th e co m er near it stood his s ta fi— no

walking stick but a verita ble staff Fl e d ge b y tu rned in to
-
,
.
the counting hou se perched h imself on a busin ess sto ol and

-
, ,
cocked hi s hat There were li ght boxes on shelves in th e

.
c ounting house and strings of m oc k be ads hangin g up

-
, .
There were samples of cheap clocks and samples of cheap ,
vases of flowers F oreign toys all .

, .
Perched on the stool with his hat cocked on his head a n d

one of his legs dangling the youth of Fl e d ge b y har d ly ,
contraste d to advantage with the a ge of the Jewish man as

he stood with his bare head bowed and his eyes (which he ,
only raised in speaking) on the ground His cloth ing was .
worn down to the rusty hue of the hat in the entry but ,
though he looked Shabby he did not look mean Now .
Fl e d g e b y though not shabby did look mean

, ,
.
You have not tol d me what you were u p to you sir , ,
said Fl e d ge b y scratching his head with the brim of h i s

,
h at .
Sir I was breathin g the air

,
.
In the cellar that you didn t h ear ? ,

’
On the house top -

.
Upon my soul That s a way of doing bu siness ’

.
Sir the old man represented with a grave and patient

,
”
air there must be two parties to the transaction of business

, ,
and the holiday has left me alone .
Ah ! Can t be buyer an d seller too’

That s what th e .
’
Jews say ain t it ? ’

3 4
2 OU R MUTU AL F RI E ND
At least we say truly if we say so answered the old , ,
man with a smi le .
“
Yo ur people need speak the truth sometimes for they lie ,
e nough remarked F ascination Fl e d g e b y

,
”
.
Sir there is returned the old man with qu i et emphas i s

, ,
”
too much u ntruth among all d enominations of men .

”
Rather dashed F ascination Fl e d ge b y too k another sc r atch

,
at his intellectual head with his hat to gain time for ,
rallying .
"
F or instance he resumed as though it were he who ,
had spoken last who but you and I ever heard of a poor ,
Jew
“
The Jews said the Ol d man raising his eyes from the
, ,
“
ground with his former smile They hear of poor Jews .
often and are very good to them

, .
“
Bother that ! returned Fl e d g e b y You know what I
”
.
mean You d persuade me if you could that you are a poor

.
’
, ,
Jew I wish you d confess how much you real ly did make
.
’
o u t of my lat e governor I should have a better opinion of .
you .
”
The old man only bent his head and stre tched out his ,
hands as before .
’
Don t go on posturi n g like a Deaf and Dumb School ,
said the ingenious Fl e d g e b y “

but express yourself like a ,
Christian — o r as nearly as you c a n .

”
I had had sickness and misfortunes and was SO poor , ,

“
s aid the O l d man as hopelessly to owe the father principal
,
and in terest The son inheriting was so merciful as to

.
,
”
forgive me both and place me here ,
.
He made a li ttle gesture as though he kissed the hem of

an i m a g i n a 1 y g a i m e n t worn by the noble youth bef01 e him .
I t was humbly done but picturesquely and was not abasing , ,
to the doer .
You won t say more I see said Fl e d g e b y looking at

’
, , ,
him as if he would like to try the e ffect of extracting a

d ou ble tooth or two and so it s of no use my putting it to ’
-
,
you Bu t confess this Riah who believes you to be poo r

.
,
w?
”
no
No one said the old man , .
There you re right assented Fl e d ge by ’
, .
NO one repeated the old man with a grave slow wave

,
”
o f his head
“
Al l scout it as a fable Were I to say Th i s
.
‘
.
,
little fancy bu siness I s n ot mine with a lithe sweep of his ,

3 2 6 O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
bil ls by the lump — b y th e
pound weight if that s all ’
suppos i ng you see you r wa y to a fair chance on looking over

the parcel And there s one thing more Come to me with
.
’
.
the books for per i odica l inspection as usual at eight on ,

’
Monday m or n mg
m
.
Riah drew some folding tablets fro his breast a n d noted

it down .
That s all I wanted to say at the presen t time continued

’
Fl e d ge b y in a gru dging vein as he got o ff the stool except , ,
that I wish you d take the air where you can hear the bell’
,
or the knocker either O ne of the two or both By the bye

, .
- -
.
h ow d o you take t h e air at the top of the house ? Do you

stick your head out of a chimney pot -
Sir there are leads there and I have made a little garden
, ,
”
there .
To bu r y you r money in you O l d dodger ,
A thumb nail s space of garden would hold the treasure

-
’
“
I bu r y master said Riah Twelve Shillings a week even
”
.
.
, , ,
when they are an old man s wages bury themselves ’
,
.
”
I should like to kno w what you really are worth ,
returned Fl e d ge b y with who m his growing rich on that ,
stipend and gratitude was a very convenient fiction But .
c ome L et s have a look at your garden on the tiles before

’
I go
The old man took a step back and hesitated ,
.
Truly sir I have company there

, ,
.
Have you by George said Fl e d ge b y

,
I suppose you .
h a ppe n t o know whose pre mises these are

Sir they are yours and I am your servant in them
, ,
.
Oh I thought you might have overlooked that retorted ,
Fl e d g e b y wi th his eyes on Ri a h s beard as he felt for his

’
,
“
own ; having company on my pre mises you know ,
.
Come up a n d see the guests sir I hope for y ou r a d m i s , .
”
sion that they can do no harm .
Passing him with a courteou s reverence specially unlike ,
any action that Mr Fl e d ge b y could for his life have imparted .
to his own head an d hands the old man b egan to ascend the ,
stairs AS he toiled on before with his palm upon the stair

.
,
rail and his l o n g b l a c k Skirt a very gaberdine overhanging

, \ , ,
eac h successive step he might have been the l eader in some

p i lgrimage of devotional ascent to a prophet s tomb No t
,
’
.
troubled by any such weak imagining Fasci n ation Fl e d g e b y ,
merely speculated on the time of life at which his beard had

THE G ARD E N ON THE RO O F
326 O UR MU TU AL F RI E ND
bills by the I m p — b y the pound weight if that s ’
supposing y O LSe e you r wa y to a fair chance on looking

the parcel Ad there s on e thing more Come to me
.
’
.
the books fo r pe r i o d i c a l inspection as usual at eight ,

”
Monday m o r n i g .
Riah drew s m e folding tablets from his breast and not

it down .
"
That s all wanted to say at the presen t time continu

’
Fl e d ge b y in a ru d g i n g vein as he got o ff the stool , ,
that I wis h yo d take the air where you can hear the
’
or the k n oc k e m i th e r one O f the two or both By ~ th e .
h ow d o you tae the air at the top of the house ? Do y

stick you r h e a tou t of a chimney pot -
Sir there as leads there and I have m ade a little gard

, ,
there .
”
To bury y a r money in you Ol d dodger ,

’
A thu mb nil s Space of garden would hold the tre
-
“
I bury maste r said Riah
,
Twelve shillings a week
, .
,
when they are n old man s wages bury themselves ’
,
.
”
“
I Should k e to kno w what you really are wo
returned Fl e d eb y with whom his growing ric h on ,
sti pend and g Iti tu d e was a very convenient fiction .
c ome Let s li ve a look at your garden o n the tiles befor

’
I go
The old m a rt o ok a step back and hesitated , .
Truly Si r : have company there

, , .
Have you i y George said Fl e d ge b y

,
I suppose y o r .
h appen to k n o whose pre mises these are i
Sir they a s you rs and I am your servant in them

,
.
, .
Oh I tho ght you might have overlooked that retorte ,
Fl e d ge b y wi thh i s eyes on Ri a h s h e a r d as he felt for

’
o wn ; h a vi n gzo m pa n y on my pre mises you know ,

“
Come up ad see the guests Si r I hope for your , .
”
s io n that they i n do no harm .
Passing h i m wi th a courteou s reverence specially ,
to his own h e a < a n d hands the old man b egan to ascen d ,
stairs AS he riled on before with his palm upo n the

.
,
rail an d his l og b l
,
eac h s u c c e s s i v e te p ,
p ilgrimage
ON THE H O U SE TOP
-
3 2 9
’
begun an d thought once more
, a goo un he was for
the part .
Some final wooden step then stooping u nder

a low pent house-
ah stood still ,
d turning to
,
r
u e s ts .
Lizzie He x a m sr h a pswith
e old in ad Spread
rpet S . ect th a n
l a c k e ne d creeper
been th with
nti v e
J e w, with a n evident purpose of drawing out the dressmaker ,
through their coming here to buy of our damage and waste

fo i M iss Jenny s mill inery
’
'
Our waste goes into the best of .
company sir on her rosy cheeked little customers They

, ,
-
.
wear it in their hair and on thei r ball dresses and even (so ,
-
,
she tells me) are presente d at Court with it .

”
‘
Ah sa i d Fl e d g e b y on whose inte lligence this doll ,
“
fancy made rat her strong demands - she s been buying that ’
basketful to d ay I suppose ,
“ ”
I supp ose she h as Miss Jenny interposed and payin g
,
for it too most likely

,
’
Let s have a look at it said the suspicious chief Riah ,
.
h anded it to him How much for this n o w ? .
Two precious silver shillings said Miss Wren ,

.
R iah confir m ed her with two n ods as Fl e d g e b y looked to ,
him A n o d for each shil l ing

. .
“
Well said Fl e d g e b y poking into the contents of the
,
”
,
“
baske t with his forefinge r the p rice i s not so bad You , .
have got good meas ure Miss What is i t ? ,

- -
”
“
Try Jenny ”
suggested that young lady with great
”
calm n ess .
“
You have got good measure Miss J enny ; but the price
is not so b a d —And you said Fl e d g e b y turning to the
,
”
-
, ,
“
other visito r do you buy anything here miss ?
, ,
NO sir .
”
No r sell anything neither miss

,
No s i r ,
.
Looking askew at the questioner J enny stole her hand up ,
to her friend s and drew her friend down so that she bent
’
, ,
beside her on her kne e .
We are thankfu l to come here for rest sir said Jenny , ,

.
’
You see you don t know what the rest of this place is to
,
’ ”
u s does he L i zzie
:
,
It s the quiet and the air ,
.
The q u iet ! repeated Fl e d ge b y with a contemptuous

” - '
,
“ ”
turn o f h i s head towards the City s roar
_
And the air ! ’
“ ”
with a Poof ! at the smoke .
“ “
Ah ! said Jenny
”
But it s so high And you see the .
’
.
clouds rushing on above the narro w streets not minding ,
them and you see the golden arrows pointing at the moun
,
t a ins in the sky from which the wind comes and you feel as ,
”
if you were dead .
The little c reature looked above her, holding up her slight

transparent hand .
CO M E B AC K AND B E DEAD l 33 1
How d o you feel when you are dead asked Fl e d ge b y ,
mu ch pe rplexed .
Oh so tranquil
,
cried the little creature smi ling Oh ,
.
,
so peaceful and so thankful An d you hear the people who

are alive crying and working and calling to one another
, , ,
down in the close dark streets and you seem to pity them so ,
And such a chain has fallen from you and such a strange ,
good sorrowful happiness comes u pon you

Her eyes fell on the O ld m an who with h is hands folded , ,
quietly looked on .
“
Why it was only just now said the little creature
, , ,
“
pointing at him that I fancied I saw him come out of his
,
grave ! He toiled out at that low door so bent and worn ,
and then he took his breath and stood upright and look ed all ,
round h i m at the sky and the wind blew upon hi m and his , ,
life do wn in the dark was over — Till he was called back to

life Sh e added looking round at Fl e d ge b y with that lower
, ,
“
look of sharpness Why did you ca ll him back.
“
He was l ong enough coming anyhow grumbled , ,
Fl e d ge b y .
“
But y ou are not dead you know, said Jenny Wren , .
Get down to life ! ”
Mr Fl e d ge b y seemed to think it rather a good suggestion

.
,
and with a nod turned round As Riah followed to atten d .
him down the stairs the little creature calle d out to the Jew
,
“
in a silvery tone Don t be long gone Come back and be
,
’
.
,
”
d ead ! And Still as they went down they heard the little
sweet voice more and more faintly half calling an d half
, ,
singing Come back and be dead Come back and be dead

, ,
When they got down i nto the entry Fl e d ge b y pausing , ,
under the shadow of the broad old hat and mechanically

poising the staff said to the old man ,
“
That s a handsome girl that one in her senses
’
,
.
And as good as handsome answered Riah ,

”
.
At all events observed Fl e d g e b y with a d 1y whistle

,
”
, ,
I hope she ain t bad enough to put any chap up to the

’
fastenings and get the premises broken open You look

, .
out Keep your weather eye awake and don t make any
.
,
’
more acqua i ntances however h andsome Of course you

,
.
”
always keep my name to yourself ?
“ ”
Sir assuredly I do
, .
’
If they ask it say it s P u b s e y or say it s C O or s a y it s
,
’
,
’
.
,
anything you like but what it is ,

.
”
332 MU
O UR TU A L F RI E ND
His grateful servant — i n who se race gratitude is deep ,
strong and enduring— bowed his head and actually did n ow

, ,
put the hem of his coat to his lips : though so lightly that
the wearer knew not h ing of it .
Thus F ascination Fl e d g e b y went his way exulting in t he

,
artful cleverness with which he had turned his thumb down

on a J e w and the old man went his different way u p Stairs
,
-
.
As he mounted the c all or song began to sound in hi s ears

,
aga i n and looking above h e saw the face of the little

, , ,
c reature looking down out of a Glory of her long bright

radiant hair and musically repeating to him like a vision
,
”
Come up and be dead ! Come up and be dead !
3 34 O UR MU TU A L F RI E ND
Imean to pay him Eugene for my part said Mortimer , , , ,
in a slightly i n j ured tone .
Ah ! I mean to pay him too retorted Eugene , , .
then I mean so much that I — tha t I don t mean ’

.
”
“
Don t mean ’
So much that I only mean and shall always only mean

and nothing more my dear Mortimer It s th e same thing ,
.
’
.
”
His friend lying back in his easy chair watched him

,
-
,
lying back in his easy chair as he stretched out his legs on -

,
the h earth rug an d said with the amu sed look that Eugene
-
, ,
W r a y b u r n could always awaken in him without seeming to

try or care
Anyhow your vagaries have increased the bill
, .
Calls the domestic virtues vagar ies ! exclaimed Eugene ”

,
raising his eyes to the ceiling .
“
This very complete little kitchen of ours said Morti mer ,
in which nothing will ever be cooked

“
My dear dear Mortimer returned his friend lazily lifting
, ,
”
his head a little to look at him “

how ofte n have I pointed ,
ou t to you that its moral infl u ence is the important thing

”
Its moral influence on this fellow ! exclaimed Light
wood laughing
,
.
Do me th e favour said Eugene getting out of h i s chair , ,

“
with much gravity to come and inspect that f eature of
,
our establishment which you rashly disparage Wi th that .

,
taking up a candle he conducted his chum into the fourth ,
room of the set of chambers — a little narrow room — which

“
was very completely and neatly fi tte d as a kitchen See .
,
”
said Eugene miniature flou r barrel rollin g pin spice box

,
-
,
-
,
-
,
shelf of brown j ars chopping board coffee mill dre sser ,

-
,
-
,
e legantly furnished with crocker y saucepans an d pans , ,
roasting jack a charming kettle an armou ry of dish covers

-
, ,
-
.
The moral influence of these obj ects in forming the domestic ,
virtues may have an immense influen ce upon me not upon

,
you for you are a h opeless case but upon me In fact I

, ,
.
,
have an idea that I feel the d omestic virtues already forming .
Do me th e favour to step into my bed room Secré taire you .

,
see and abstruse set of solid mahogany pigeon holes one for
,
-
,
every letter of the alphabet To what use do I devote them .
I receive a bill — say from Jones I docket it n e atly at the .

,
secré taire J O N E S and I put it into pigeon hole J It s the

, ,
-
.
’
next thing to a receipt and is quite as satisfactory to m e .
And I very much wish Mortimer sitting on his bed with , ,

”
,
FO RM I N G THE D O MESTI C V IRTU ES 3 35
“
the air of a philosopher lecturing a disciple
.
that m y ,
example might induce y ou to cultivate habits of punct u ality

and method ; and by means of the m oral influe n ces wi th
,
which I have surrounded you to enco u rage th e for m a ti on o f ,

'
”
the do m estic virtues .
Mortimer laughed again with h i s u sual co m m en taries of ,

“ ”
How c a n y ou be so ridiculous E u gene ! a n d W h at an ,
absurd fellow you are ! but when his l au gh wa s out there ”
was something serious if not a nxio u s in h i s face Despite , ,

.
that pernicious assumption of l assitu de and i n difference

which had become his second natu re h e wa s stro n gly attach e d ,
to his friend He h a d founded hi m self u pon E u ge n e wh en

.
they were yet boys at school an d a t this hour im itated h i m

n o less admired h i m n o less loved hi m no less than in
, , ,
those departed days .
“
Eugene said he “
if I could fin d you in earnest for a
,
”
,
minute I would try to say an e a rnest word to y ou

, .
”
“ “
An earnest word ? repeated Eugene The m ora l i n ”
.
flu e n c e s are beginning to work Say on . .
“
Well I will returned the other tho u g h you a r e n o t
,
“
,
”
,
”
earnest yet .
“
In this desire for earn estnes s m u i m u r e d E u gene with , ,
the air of one wh o was me d itating deeply “

I tra ce the ,
happy i nfl u ences of the little flou r barrel a n d th e coffee m ill - -

.
”
Gratifying .
“
Eugene resumed Mortimer disregardi n g th e li ght
, ,
interruption and laying a hand u pon E u gen e s sho u l der as

,
’
,
“
he Mortimer stood before him seated on his b e d you are
, , ,
withhold i ng something from m e .
Eugene looked at him but said nothing , .
All this past summer you have b een wi th holding ,
something from me Before we entered on ou r boatin g .
vacation you were as bent u pon it as I have se en you upon

,
anything since we first rowed together But y o u cared v ery .
little for it when it came often found it a ti e a n d a dr a g ,
upon you and were constantly away

, Now it was well .
enough half a dozen times a dozen times twenty times to

- -
, , ,
say to me in you r own odd manner which I know so well ,
and like so much that your disappearances were precautio n s

,
against ou r boring one another ; but of course after a short

while I began to know that they covered somethin g I don t .
’
ask what it is as you have not told me ; but the fact is so

, .
Say is it not ?
,
33 6 O UR MUTU A L FRI E ND
I give you my word of honour Mortimer return e d , ,
Eugene after a serious pause o f a fe w moments

,
“
that I -
d on t kno w
’ ”
Do n t kno w
.
“
E ugene
’
Upon my soul don t know I kno w less about myself ,

’
.
than about most people in the worl d and I don t know ,

’
.
“
You have some design in your mind
Have I I don t think I have ’
.
”
At any rate you h ave some subj ect of inte rest there
,
which used not to be there

“
I really can t say replied Eugene shakin g his head
’
, ,
blankly after pausing again to reconsider

,
“
At times I have .
thought yes ; at other times I h ave thought no Now I .

,
have been inclined to pursue such a subj ect ; n ow I have ,
felt that it was absur d and that it tired and embarrassed me ,

.
Absol u tely I can t say F rankly and faithfully, I would if

,
’
.
”
I could .
SO rep l ying he clapped a hand i n his turn on his friend s

‘ ’
, , ,
shoulder as he rose from his seat upon the bed and said
, ,
“
You must take your friend as he is You know what I .
am my dear Mortimer You know how dreadfully s u s c e p

, .
tible I a m to boredom You know that when I became .
enough of a man to find myself an embodied conundrum ,
I bore d myself to the last degree by trying to find out what

I meant You know that at length I gave it up and
.
,
declined to guess any more Then how can I possibly give .
you the answer that I have not discovered The O l d nursery

form runs Riddle me riddle me ~
‘
,
ree p r a p s you can t tell me
- - -
,
’ ’
what this may be ? ‘

My reply runs No Upon my life , .
,
I can t ’
.
’
So much of what was fantastically true to his own know

ledge of this utterly ca reless Eugene m i ngled with the
answer that Mortimer could not receive it as a mere evasion
,
.
Besides it was given wi th an engaging air of op enness a nd

, ,
of special exemption of the one friend he valued from h i s '
reckless indifference .
“
Come dear boy ! said Eugene
,
Let us try the effect ”
.
of s m oking If it enlightens me at a l l on this qu estion I

.
,
will impart unreservedly .

”
They returned to the room they had come from and fin d , ,
ing it heated opened a window Having lighted their cigars

, .
,
they leaned out of this window smokin g and looking down , ,
at the moonlight as it shone into the c ourt below ,

.
33 8 O UR MUTU A L F RIEND
are Eugene
, Requiring no pers uasion he stayed there
.
,
‘
smoking quietly and not at all curi o us to know wh o

, , ,
knocked until Mortimer spoke to h i m from within the

,
room a nd touched him Then drawing in h i s head he

, .
, ,
found the visitors to be young Charley He xa m and the

schoolmaster ; both standing facing him a n d both recog ,
n i s e d at a glance .
“
You recollect this young fellow Eugene ,
Mort i mer .
“
Let me look at him returned W r a y b u r n coolly ,
Oh ,
.
,
yes yes I recollect him !

, .
”
He had not been abou t to repeat that former action of

taking him by the chin but the boy had suspected him of it, ,
and had thrown up his arm with an angry start Laughingly .

,
W r a y b u r n looked to Lightwoo d for an explanation of this

O d d visit .
He says h e has something to say .
Surely it mu st be to you Mortimer , .
So I thought but he says no He says it is to you

,
. .
Yes I do say so i nterposed the boy

,
“
,
And I mean to
”
.
say what I want to say too Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n , , .
Passing him with his eyes as if there were nothing where

h e stood E u gene l ooked on to Bradley Headstone
,
With .
consummate indolence he tu rned to Mortimer I nqu i ri ng , ,

“
And wh o may this other pe rson be ?
I am Charles He xa m s friend said Bradley ; “
I am ’
,
”
Charles He x a m s schoolmaster
'
’
.
”
“My good s i i you should teach your pup i ls better

,
manners returned Eugene

,
’ ’
.
Composedly s m oking he leaned an elbow on the chim ney

,
piece at the side of the fire an d looked at the schoolm aster

, ,
.
It was a cru el look in its cold disdain of him as a creat u re

, ,
of no worth The schoolmaster looke d at him and that

.
, ,
too was a cruel look though O f the different k i nd that it

, , ,
had a raging j ealousy and fiery wrath in it .
Very remarkably neither Eugene W r a y b u r n nor Bradley

,
Headstone looked at all at the boy Through the ensuin g .
dialogue those two no matter who spoke or whom was

, , ,
addressed looked at each other There was some secret

, .
,
sure perception between them which set them against one “
a nother in all ways .
“
In some high respects Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n said ,
.
,
“
Bradley answering him with pale and quivering lips the
, ,
3 42 OUR MUTUAL FRI E ND
the respectable watch could have wound it round his throat
and strangled him with it Not an other word d id Eugen e .
deem it worth while to utter but stood leaning his head ,
u po n his h and smoking and looking imperturbably a t the

,
chafing Bradley Headstone with his clutching right hand ,
u n til Bradley was well nigh mad -

.
“
Mr W r a yb u r n proceede d the boy we not only kn ow
.
,
”
,
this that I have charged upon you but we know more It , .
’
has not yet come to my sister s knowledge that we have
fou nd it o u t but we have We had a plan Mr Headstone
,
. .
,
.
’
and I for my sister s edu cation and for its being advised
, ,
and overlooked by Mr Headstone who is a much more .

,
competent au thority whatever you may pretend to think , ,
as you smoke than you could produce if you tried Then

,
.
what do we find ? What do we find Mr Lightwood ? , .
Why we find that my sister is already being taught with

, ,
out our knowing it We find that while my sister gives an .
unwilling and cold ear to our schemes for her advantage

I her brother and Mr Headstone the most competent
, ,
'
.
,
authority as h i s c e r ti flc a te s would easily prove that could

, ,
be pro d u ced — she is wilfully and willingly profiting by other

sche m es Aye and takin g pains too for I know what such
.
, , ,
pains are And so does Mr Headstone ! Well ! Somebody

. .
pays for this is a thought that naturally occurs to us ; who

,
pays ? We apply ourselves to find out Mr Lightwood and , .

,
we find that you r friend this Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n here ,

.
,
pays T h en I ask him what right has he to do it and what

.
,
does he mean by it and how comes he to be taking such a ,
liberty without my consent when I am raising myself in the ,
scale of society by my own exertions and Mr He adstone s ’

’
aid and have no right to have any darkness cast upon my

,
prospects or any imputation upon my respectability, through

,
my sister
The boyish weakness of this speech combined with its ,
great selfishness made it a poor one indeed And yet Bradley

,
.
Headstone used to the little au dience O f a school and unused

, ,
to the larger ways of men showed a kind of exultation in it ,

.
“
Now I tell Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n pursued the boy .
, ,
forced into the use of the third person by the hopelessness of

addressing him in the first that I O bj ect to his h aving any
“
,
acquaintance at all with my sister and that I request him to ,
drop it altogether He is not to take it into his head that

.
I am afraid of my sister s c a ring for h i m ’

MR W RAY BURN
. Is R EQ U E STE D TO D RO P IT 3 43
(As the boy sneered the Maste r sneered and Eugene blew , ,
o ff the feathery ash ag a in ) .
But I O bj ect to it and that s eno ugh I am more i m ,

’
.
portant to my sister than he thinks As I i a i s e myself I .

,
intend to raise her she knows that and she h a s to look to me ,
for her prospects Now I understand all this v ery well and so
.
,
does Mr He ad stone My sister is an excellent girl but she

. .
,
has some roma n tic notions ; not about such things as your .
Mr E u gene W r a yb u r n s but about th e death of my father

.
,
and other matte rs of that sort Mr W r a y b u r n encourages . .
those notions to make himself of i m portance and so she thinks ,
she o u ght to be grateful to him a n d perhaps even likes to be , .
Now I don t choose her to be grateful to him or to b e g rate

’
fu l to anybody but me except Mr Headstone And I tell ,

. .
Mr W r a yb u r n that if he don t take heed of what I say it

.
’
will be worse for her Let him turn that over in his memory .
,
and make su re of it Worse for her ! .
A pause e n sued in which the schoolmaster looked very

,
awkward .
“
May I su ggest Schoo l maste r said Eugene removing his
, , ,
“
fast waning c i gar from his lips to glance at it that you can ,
now take your pupil away ?

And Mi L ightwood added th e boy with a burning face
.
, , ,
u nder the flaming aggravation of getting no sort of answer

“ ’
or attention I hope you ll take notice of wh at I have said
,
'
'
to your friend and of what your friend has heard me say

, ,
word by word whatever he pretends to the contrary You

,
.
are bound to take notice of it Mr L ightwood ; for as I have ,

.
,
already m entioned you first brought you r frien d into m y

,
’
sister s company and but fo r you we never should h ave seen
,
h im . Lord knows none of u s ever wanted h i m any more ,
than any of u s will ever miss him Now Mr Headstone as . .

,
Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n has been obliged to hear what I

.
h a d to say and couldn t help h imself and as I have said

’
, ,
i t out to the last wor d , we have done a ll we wanted to do ,
and may go .
’
G O down stairs and leave me a moment He x a m

-
,
he , ,
retu rned The boy complying with an indignant look and

.
as much noise as he could make swung out of the room and ,
Lightwood went to the window a n d leaned there looking out

‘
.
, ,
“
You think me of n o more value than the dirt under your
feet said Bradley to Eugene spe aking in a carefully weighed
, ,
and measured tone or he could not have spoken at all , .

I assure you Schoolmaster replied Eugene , I don t , _
,
“ ’
think about you .

”
“ ’
That s not tru e returned the o ther you know better , , .
“ ’ “ ” ’
That s coarse Eugene retorted ; but you d on t know ,
”
better .
Mr W r a yb u r n at l east I know very wel l that it woul d be

.
,
idle to set myself agains t you in insolent words or overbearing

manners That lad who has j ust gone out could put you to
.
_
shame in half a dozen branches of knowle d ge in half an hou r

- -
,
but you can throw h i m aside like an inferior You can do as .
much by me I have no doubt beforeha nd

, , .
”
”
Possibly remarked Eugen e,
.
Bu t I a m more than a lad said Bradley with his clutch

”
, ,
ing hand and I W I LL be heard sir

“
, , .
”
As a schoolmaster said Eugene you are always be i ng , ,
”
heard Tha t ought to content you
. .
“
B u t it does not content me replied the other white with , ,
passion Do yo u suppose that a man in for m i n g h i m s e l f

.
,
for the d u ties I discharge and in watching and repressing ,
himself daily to discharge the m well, dismisses a man s ,

’
nat u re
“
I suppose you said Eugene j udging from what I see , ,
as I look at you to b e rather too passionate for a good s chool

,
-
master . As he spoke he tossed away the end of his cigar , .
“
Passionate with you sir, I admit I am Passionate wit h ,
.
you sir I respect myself for be i ng Bu t I have not Devils

, ,
.
”
for my pupils .
F or your Teachers I should rather say, replied Eugene .
M W
,
i . r a yb u r n .
”
Schoolmaster ,
Sir my na m e is Bra dley Headstone

,
.
As you j ustly said my good sir your n ame cannot con , ,
ce i n me Now what more ?

.
,
“
T h is m o r e Oh what a misfortune is mine, cried
.
,
B radley breaking o ff to wipe the start i ng perspiration from

,
his face as he shook from head to foot that I cannot so

“
,
control myself as to appear a stronger creature than this ,
when a man who has not felt i n all his life what I have felt
i n a day c a n so command himself He said it in a very
agony and even followed it with an errant motion of h is
,
hands as if he could have torn himself .
Eugene W r a y b u r n looked on at him as if he found h i m ,
beginning to be rather an entertaining study .

346 O UR MUTU A L FRI E ND
hand is a problem for the ingenui ty O f a schoolmaster to
,
-
“
prove returned Eugene
”
Is th a t all ? .
NO sir If you suppose that boy

,
.
,
Who really will be tired O f waiting said Eugene , ,
politely .
“
If you suppose that boy to be friendless Mr W r a yb u r n ,
.
,
you deceive yourself I am his friend and you shall fin d .

,
me so .
”
And you will find hi m o n the stairs remarked Eugene , .
You may have promised yourself sir that you coul d do , ,
what you c hose here because you had to deal with a mere
,
,
boy inexperienced friendless and u nassis ted But I give

, , , .
you warning that this mean c a l c u l a ti o n i s wrong You have .
to do with a man also You have to do with me I will . .
support him and if need be requ ire reparation for him My

, , , .
”
han d and heart are in this caus e and are open to him , .
“
And — quite a coincidence — the door i s Open remarked ,
”
Eugene .
‘
I scorn your shifty evasions and I sco r n you said the , ,
scho olmaster In the meanness of your nature you revil e

me with the meanness of my birth I hold yo u i n contempt .
for it But if you do n t profit by this visit and a c t a ccord

.
’
i n g l y you will find me as bitterly i n earnest against you as

,
I could be if I deemed you worth a secon d thought on my

own account .
With a consciously bad grace a n d sti ff manner as Wray ,
burn looked so easily and calmly on he went out with these ,
words and the heavy door closed like a furnace door upon
,
-
his red and white heats of rage .
“
A curious monomaniac said Eugene “
The m a n seems ,
”
.
to believe that everybo dy was acquainted with his mother

Mortimer Lightwo od being stil l at th e window to which ,
he had in de l icacy withdrawn Eugene called to him and he , ,
fell to slowly pacing th e ro om .
My dear fellow said Eugene as he lighte d another , ,
cigar I fear my unexpected visitors have been troublesome

, .
If as a set o ff (excuse the legal phrase from a barrister a t law)

- - -
you would l i ke to ask Tippins to tea I pledge myself to make ,
love to her .
”
“
Eugene Eugene Eugene replied Mortimer still pacing
, , ,
‘
the room I am sorry for this And to think that I have

“
, .
been so blind ! ”
How blind dear boy ? inquired his unmoved friend

,
.
“
AW AY W ITH M E LANCH O LY 3 47
What were your words that night at the river sid e public -
“
house ? said Lightwood stopping What was it t h at you
,
.
asked me Did I feel like a dark combination of tra itor a n d

pickpocket when I thought of that girl ?
I seem to remember the expression said Euge n e ,
.
How do y ou feel when you think of her ju st now ?

His friend made no direct reply but O bserved after a few , ,
“
whiffs of his cigar Don t mistake the situation There is ’
.
no bette r girl in all this Lon don than Lizzie He xa m Th ere

,
is no better among m y people at home ; no better among

your people .
“
Granted What follows .
There said Eu gene looking after him dubiously as he

,
”
,
paced away to the other en d of the room you put m e again ,
upon guessing the riddle that I have given u p .

”
“
Eugene do you design to capture and desert this girl ?
,
My dear fellow no ,
.
”
DO you design to marry her

My dear fellow no , .
”
DO you design to pursue her ?

My dear fello w I don t desi gn anything I have no
,
’
.
design whatever I am incapable of designs If I conceived

. .
a design I should speedily abandon it exhau sted by th e

, ,
operation .
“
O Eugene Eugene ! ,
”
My dear Mortimer not that tone of melanch oly reproac h

, .
I entreat What can I do more than tell you all I know

.
,
and acknowledge my ign orance of all I don t know ! How ’
does that little O l d song go which under pretence of bei n g , ,
cheerful is by far the most lugubriou s I ever heard in my

,
life
‘
Awa y wi th m e l a n c h o ly ,
No r d o l e fu l c h a n ge s ri n g
O n l i fe a n d h u m a n fo lly ,
Bu t m e rr i ly m e r r i ly s i n g
Fa ! l a
Don t let us sing F al la my dear Mortimer (which is com

’
p a r a ti v e l y unmeaning) but let u s sing that we give up guessi n g

,
the riddle altogether .
“
Are you in commu nication with this girl Eugene and is , ,
what these people say true

“
I c o n c e d e both admissions to my honourable and l e a r h e d
fri en d
0
348 OU R MUTUAL FRI E ND
Then what is to come of it ? What are you doing ?
Where are you going
My dear Mortimer one would think the schoolmaster had
,
left behind him a catech izing infection You are ruffled by .
the want of another cigar Take one of these I entreat.

, .
Light it at mine which is in perfect order So ! Now do

, .
me the j ustice to observe that I am doing all I can towards

self improvement and that you have a light thrown on those
-
, '
household implements which when y o u only saw them as in ,
a glass darkly you were hastily — I must say hastily— inclined

,
t o depreciate Sensible of my deficienci es I have surrounde d

.
,
myself with moral in flu ences expressly meant to promote the

formatio n O f the domestic virtues To those in fluences and .
,
to the improving society of my friend from boyhood commend ,
me with your best wishes .

”
Ah E u gene
,
said Lightwood affectionately n ow stand , ,
ing near him so that they both stood in one little cloud of
,
smoke ; I would that you answered my three questions !

What is to co m e of it ? What are you doing ?
Where are
you going
“
And my dear Mortimer returned Eugen e lightly fanning
, ,
”
away the smoke with his hand for the better exposition of
his frankness o f face and manner believe me I would , ,
answer the m instantly if I could But to enable me to do .
so I must first have fou nd out the troublesome conundru m

,
long abandoned Here it is Eugene W r a y b u r n

. Tapping
. .
”
h i s forehead and breast Riddle me riddle m e ree perhaps

.
-
,
-
,
y o u can t tell me what this may be

’
No, upon my life I can t -
’
.
I g i v e it up 1 ”
mournfu l past : as if the house and he had had a fall in life
together .
"
And this sir Silas would say to his patron sadly
, , ,
“
nodding his head and musing was once Our Hou se ! This , ,
sir is the building from which I have so often seen those

,
great creatures Miss El izabeth Master George Aunt Jane

, , , ,
and Uncle Parker —whose very names were of h is own

inventing — “
pass and repass ! An d has it come to this ,
”
indeed ! Ah dear me dear me ! ,
So tender were his lamentations that the ki ndly Mr B o ffin , .
was quite sorry for him and almost felt mistrustful that i n ,
buying the house he had done him a n irreparable inj ury .
Two or three diplomatic interviews the result of great ,
subtlety on Mr W e gg s part but assuming the mask of

.
’
careless yielding to a fortuitous combination of circumstances

impelling him towards Clerkenwell had enabled him to ,
complete his b argai n with Mr Venu s . .
“ ”
B ring me round to the Bower said Sil as when the , ,
bargain was closed next Satu rday evening and if a sociable

, ,
glas s of O l d Ja m a i k e y warm should meet your views I a m ,

”
not th e man to begru dge it .
Y o u a re aware of my being poor company sir replied , ,

“ ”
Mr Venus but be it so
.
,
.
It being so here is Saturday evening come and here is

, ,
Mr Venus come and ringing at the Bower gate

.
,
-
.
Mr W e gg opens the gate descries a so r t of brown paper

.
,
trun cheon under Mr Venus s arm and remarks in a dry .

’
, ,
tone : Oh I thought p erhaps you might have come in a cab

“
.
“
No Mr W e g g rep l ies Venus
,
. I am not above a
,
.
”
parcel .
“
Above a parcel ! No says W e g g with some d i s s a ti s ,
“
faction B u t does n o t O penly grow! a ce rt ain sort of parcel
.
,
might be above you .

”
Here is your purchase Mr W e gg says Ven us poli tely , .

, ,
handing it over and I a m glad to restore it to the source

“
,
from whence i t— flo we d .
”
Thankee says W e gg Now this affair is conc luded I

,
”
.
,
may mention to you in a friendly way that I have my doubts

whether if I had consulted a lawyer y ou could have kept
, ,
this ar ticle back from me I only throw it out as a legal .
po i nt .
”
“
Do you think so Mr W e gg ? I bought you in open .
”
contract .
A PO INT OF FACT 3 51
You can t buy human flesh and blood in this country sir
’
,
not ali ve you can t s ays W e gg shaking his head

,
Then ’
,
”
, .
query bone ,
As a legal point asks Venus .
As a legal point .
I am not competent to speak u pon that Mr W e gg , .

,
“
says Venus reddening and grow i ng something lou der
,
but
upon a point of fact I think myself competent to spea k and
as a point O f fac t I would have seen you — will you allow me
to say further,
“
I wouldn t s ay more than further if I was you Mr
’
, ,
.
W e gg suggests pa c ific a ll y .
— Before I d have given that packet into your hand ’ '
without being paid my price for it I d on t pretend to .

’
’
know h ow the point of law may stand but I m thoroughly
‘
co n fident U pon the point of fact .
As Mr Venus is irrita ble (no doubt owing to his d i s a p

.
pointment in love) and as it is not the on e of Mr W e g g t o , .
have h i m out of te mper the latter gentleman soothingly ,
re marks “
I onl y p u t it as a little case ; I only put it
,
”
ha po r th e ti c a l l y
’
Then I d rather Mi W e gg y Ou put it a nother time

.
, .
,
pe nn o r th e ti c a l l y is Mr Venu s s retort
’ “
for I tell you , .
’
candidly I don t like you r little cases ’

.
”
Arrived by this time in Mr W e gg s sitting room m ade .

’
-
,
bright on the chilly evening by gaslight and fi re Mr Venu s , .
softens and complim ents him on his abo de ; profit i ng by the

occasion to remind W e gg that he (Venus) told him he h a d
got into a good thing .
Tolerable W e gg rej oins But bear in mind Mr

,
.
, .
Venus that there s no gold without its alloy Mix for

,
’
.
yoursel f and take a seat in the chimbley corner Will you -

.
perform upon a pipe sir ? ,

”
I am but an indifferent performer s ir returns the oth er , ,

”
but I ll accompany you with a whiff or two at in tervals
’ “
S o Mr Venus mixes and W e g g m i xes ; and Mr Venu s

.
. .
ligh ts and pu ffs and W e gg lights and pu ffs ,

.
And there s alloy even in this metal of yours Mr W e gg

’
,
.
,
you was remarking ?

“
Myste ry returns W e gg “
I don t like it Mi Venus I
,
”
.
’
,
. .
’
don t li ke to have the l ife knocked out of former inhabitants
O f this house i n th e gloomy d ark and not kn ow who did it
”
.
, ,
“
Might you have any suspicions Mr W e g g ,
. .
No returns that gentleman
,
I kn ow who profits by it . .
But I have no suspicions

. .
”
Having said which Mr W e gg smokes and looks at the fire , .
with a most determined expression of Charity ; as if he had

caught that card i nal virtue by the skirts as she felt it her ,
painful duty to depart from him and held her by main force , .
Similarly resumes W e gg I have observations as I can

,
”
o ffer upo n certain points and parties ; but I make no o h

j e c ti o n s Mr Venus Here is an im mense fortune drops fro m
,
. .
the clouds upon a perso n that shall be nameless Here is a .
weekly allowance with a certain weight O f coals drops from , ,
the clouds upon me Which of u s is the better man ? Not .
the person that shall be nameless That s an observati on of .

’
mine but I do n t make it an obj ection I take my allowance

,
’
.
and my certain weight of coals He takes his fortune . .
That s th e way it works

’
.
It would be a good thing for me if I could see t hings in ,
the calm light you do Mr W e gg ,

. .
”
“
Again look here pursues Silas with an oratorica l , ,
flo u rish of hi s pipe and his wooden leg : the l a tte r h av i n g an '
“
u n d i g n i fie d tendency to til t h i m back in his chair ; here s ’
another observation Mr Venus unaccompanied with an , .

,
obj ection Him that shall be nameless is liable to b e talked

.
over He gets talked over Him that shall be nameless

.
.
.
,
having me at his right hand naturally looking to be pro ,
moted higher and you may perhaps say meriting to be ,
promoted higher
(Mr Venus mu rmurs that he does say so )
. .
— Hi m that shall be nameless under such cir cumstances , ,
passes me by and puts a talking over stranger above my ,

-
head Which of us two is the better man ? Which of u s

.
-
two can repeat most poetry Which of u s two has in the ,
service of him that shall be nameless tackled the Romans , ,
b oth civil and mil itary till he has got as husky as if he d

’
been weaned and ever since brought up on sawdust ? Not

the talki ng over stranger Yet the house is as free to h i m
-
.
as if it wa s his and he has his room and is put upon a foot , ,
ing and draws about a thousand a year I am banished to

~
“
, .
the Bo wer to be found i n it like a piece o f furniture when

,
ever wanted Merit therefore don t win That s the way

.
, ,
’
.
’
it works I O bserve it beca u se I can t help observing it

.
,
’
being accustomed to take a powerful sight of notice ; but

I don t obj ect Ever here before Mr Venus ?
’
.
,
.
”
ironical t one and his lingerin g irritation and resumes his ,
\
'
pipe . Ve were talking of O l d Mr Harmon being a friend .
of yours .
“
Not a friend Mr W e g g Only known to Speak to and , . .
,
to have a l ittle deal with now and then A V e ry inquisitive .
character Mr I Ve gg regarding what was found in the du s t

,
.
, .
As inquisitive as secre t .
”
Ah ! You found him secret ? returns W e g g with a ,
gre e dy relish .
“
He had always the look of it and the manner of it , .
Ah ! with another roll of his eyes

” “
As to what wa s .
found in the dust now Did you ever h ear h im mention .
how he found it my dear friend Living on the mysterious

,
premises one would like to kno w F or instance where he

, .
,
found things ? Or for instance how he s e t about it ? , ,
Whether h e began at the top o f the mounds o r whether he '
began at th e bottom Whether he prodded Mr W e gg s . .

’
pantomime is skilful and expressive here ; or whether he

scooped ? Should you say scooped my dear Mr Venus ; or .
— —
,
s hould you as a man say prodded

“
I should say neither Mr W e gg
’
.
,
.
As a fellow man Mr Venus —m i x again — why neither

-
,
.
B ecause I suppose sir that what was found wa s found , ,
in the sorting and sifting All the mounds are sorted and .
sifted
“
Y o u shall see e ni an d pass your opinion Mix again
’
. .
On e a c h o c c a s i o n of his saying mix again Mr W e gg

‘ “
, .
,
with a h O p on his wooden leg hitches his chair a little ,
nearer ; more as if he were proposing that himself and Mr .
Venu s should mix again than that they shoul d replenish ,
their glasses .
Living (a s I said before) on the mysterious premises ,
says W eg g when the other has acted on his hospitable

entreaty one likes to know Would you be inclined to
,
.
say now — as a brother— that he ever hid things in the dust ,
as well as found em ’
“
Mr W e gg o n the whole I should say he might
.
Mr W e g g claps on his spectacles and admiringly surveys

.
, ,
.
.
,
Mr Venus from head to foot

. .
“
As a mortal equally with myself whose hand I take in ,
mine for the firs t time this day having unaccountabl y ,
overlooked that act so full of bo u ndless confidence binding

a fellow c r e e tu r to a fellow c re e tu r , s ays W egg holding
- -
”
,
’
MR . V E NU S S SU PP OSITI O N S 3 55
Mr Venus s palm out flat and ready for smiting and now
.
’
, ,
smiting it ; as such — a n d no other— for I scorn a l l lowlier -
ties bet wixt myself and the m a n walki n g with his face erect
.
that alone I call my Twin —regarded and regarding in this

trustful bond — what do you think he might have hid
I t is but a suppos i tion Mr W e g g
”
. .
,
As a Being wit h h i s hand u p o n his heart cries W e g g ; ,

'
and the apostrophe is not the less impress i ve for the Being s
hand being actually upon his rum an d water ; put your
s upposition into language and bring it out Mr Venus
-
.
, ,
He was the species of old gentleman sir slowly returns , ,
that practical anatomist after drinking that I should , ,
j udge likely to take such opportunities as this place o ffered ,

”
of stowing away money valuables maybe papers , ,
.
“
As one that was ever an ornament to h u man life says ,
Mr W e gg again holding out Mr Venus s palm as if he were

.
, .
'
’
going to tell his fortune by chirom ancy and holdi n g his own ,
“
up ready for smiting it when the time shou ld come ; as ‘
one that the poet might have had his eye on in writing the ,
national n aval words

He l m a we a th e r n o w l a y h e r c l o s e
‘ -
, ,
Ya r d a r m a n d y a r d a r m s h e l i e s ;
- - -
Ag a i n c r i e d I Mr V e n u s g i ve h e r t oth e r d os e
'
’
Ma n s h rou d s a n d g a p p l e s i r o r s h e fli e s !
, , .
, ,
’
r
, ,
that is to say regarded in the light of true B ritish Oak for

, ,
—
such you are explain Mr Venus th e expression papers ‘
,
.
,
“
Seeing that the old gentleman was generally cutti n g o ff
some near relation or blocking out som e natural a ffection ,
“
Mr Venus rejoins he most likely m a de a good m a ny wills
.
,
and codicils .
”
The palm of Silas W e gg descen d s with a s ou ndi n g s m ack

upon the palm of Venus and W e gg lavishly excl a i m s Twin
“
, ,
in opinion equally with feeling ! Mix a little m ore !

Having now hitched his woo den leg a n d his c h air close in
front of Mr Venus Mr W e gg rapidly m ixes for b o th giv es
.
, .
,
his Visitor his glass touches its rim with th e rim of h i s own
, ,
p u ts his own to his lips puts i t down and Spre a di n g h i s , ,

'
hands on his visitor s knees thus addresses h i m ,
“
Mr Venus It ain t that I obj ect t o being pa ss ed over
. .
’
for a stranger though I regard the stranger as a m o r e th a n

,
'
do u btful customer It ain t fo r the sake of making money
.
,
though m oney is ever welcome It ain t for m ysel f th ough .

’
,
35 6 OU R MUTUAL F RI END
I am not so h aughty as to be above doing myself a good
”
turn It s for the cause of right
.
’
.
Mr Venu s passively wi nking his weak eyes both at once,

. -
demands : What is Mr W e g g
“
,
.
“
The friendly move sir that I now prop ose You see , , .
the move sir ? ,

“
Till you have pointed it out Mr W e g g I can t say , .
,
’
whether I d o or not .
”
“
If there i s anything to be f0und on these premises let ,
us find it together Let u s make the friendly move of .
agreeing to look for it together Let us make the friendly .
move of agreeing to share the profits of it equally betwixt us .
In the cau se of the right Thus Silas, assuming a noble air .

”
.
Then says Mr Venus looking up after meditating with

,
”
.
, ,
his hair held in his hands as if he could only fix his attention ,

“
by fixing his hea d if anything was to be u nbu rie d from
under the dust it wo uld be kept a secre t by you and me
,
Would that be it Mr W e gg , .
“
That would depend upon what it was Mr Venus Say , . .
i t was money or plate or j ewelle r y it would be as much ours

, , ,
as anybody else s ’
.
”
Mr Venu s rubs an eyebrow interrogatively

.
,
.
“
In the ca u se of the right it would Because it W ould be .
unknowingly sold with the mounds else and the buyer would ,
get what he was never meant to have and never bought , .
And what would that be Mr Venus but the cause of the , .

,
wrong
“
Say it was pape rs Mr Venus propounds ,
. .
According to what they c ontaine d we should o ffer to

dispose of em to the parties most interested replies W e gg
’
,
”
promptly .
In the cause of the right Mr W e gg , .
Al ways so Mr Venus If the parties should use them in

, . .
the cause of the wrong that would be their act and deed ,
.
Mr Venus I have an O pinion of you sir to which it is not

. .
, ,
easy to give mouth Since I called upon you that evening .
whe n y o u were as I may say floating your powerful m i nd in

, ,
tea I have felt that you required to be rou sed with an obj ect
,
.
In this friendly move sir you will have a glorio us object to , ,
rouse you .
”
Mr W e g g then goes on to enlarge upon what throughout

has bee n uppermost in his crafty mind —
.
the qualifications of
’
Mr Venus for such a search He expatiates on Mr Venus s
. . .
I scarcely know what to say to this Mr W e gg observes , .
,
Venus afte r r uminating for a while

,
.
“
Say yes W e gg natu r ally u r ges ’’
N
.
,
If I wasn t soured my answe r would be o But being

’
so u r ed Mi W e gg a ir d d r iven to reckless madness and

.
,
.
, ,
desperation I suppose it s Yes ,

’
.
”
W e gg j oyfully reproduces the two glasses repeats the ,
ceremony of clinking their rims and inwardly drinks with ,
great heartiness to the health and success in life of the young

lady who has reduced Mr Venus to his present convenient .
state of mind .
The articles of the friendly move are then severally recited

and agreed upon They are b u t secrecy fidelity and perse .
, ,
ve ra n c e The B ower to be always free of access to Mr Venu s

. .
for his researches an d every precaution to be taken against ,
their attracting observation in the neighbourhood .
There s a foo tstep ’

exclai ms Venu s .
Where cries W e gg starting , .
Outside St .
They are i n the act of ratifying the treaty o f friendly mov e .
by shaking hands upon it They softly break o ff light their .

,
pipes which have gone out and lean back in th e i r c h a i r s

, , .
No doubt a foo ts te p It approaches th e window, and a hand .
taps at the glass Com e in calls W e gg ; meaning come

.
round h y the door But the heavy old fashion ed sash is

.
, .
-
slo wly raised and a head slowly looks in out of the dark
.
background O f night .
“
Pray is Mr Silas W e gg here O h ! I see him !
.
The friendly movers might not have b e en quite at their

ease even though the visi tor had entered in the u sual manner
,
.
But leaning on the breast high window a n d staring in out of -

,
the darkness they find the visitor extremely embarrassing

,
.
Especially Mr Venus who removes his pipe draws back his

.
,
head and stares at the starer, as if it were his own Hindoo

,
baby come to fetch him home .
“
Good evening Mr W e gg The yard gate lock should be , . ,
-
”
looked to if you please it don t catch
,
’
.
Is it Mr Ro k e s m i th falters W e gg
M
. .
It is r Ro k e s m i th Don t let me disturb you I am

. .
’
.
not coming in I have only a message for y ou which I

.
,
undertook to deliver on my way home to my lodgings I was .
i n two minds about coming beyond the gate without ringing

not knowing but you might have a dog about .
THE TAL K IN G -
OV E R TR ANG E R L O O K S
S IN 3 59
I wish I h a d mutters W e g g with his back turned as he
, ,
rose from his ch a ir St Hush The talking over stranger

.
-
,
”
Mr Venu s
. .
Is that any one I know in quires the staring

Secretary .
NO Mr Rok e s m i th
,
F rie n d of mine Passi n g the
. . .
”
evening with me .
Oh I beg h i s pardon Mr Bo ffin wish es you to know . .
that he does not expect you to stay at home any evening on

the chance of his coming It h a s occurred to him that he .
may withou t intending it , have been a tie u pon you In

,
.
futu re if he should come witho u t notice he wil l take his

,
chance of finding you and it will be all the same to h i m if ,
he does not I u ndertook to tell you o n my way That s a l l

’ ”
. .
.
With that and Good night the Secretary lowers th e

“
, ,
”
window and disappears They listen an d he a r his footstep s .

,
go back to the gate and hear th e gate c l ose after h i m , .
“
An d for that indivi d ual , Mr Venu s re m ark s W e gg .
,
”
,
“
when he is fully gone I have been passed over Let me ,
a s k y o u wha t you think of him
Apparently Mr Venu s does no t know what to t h ink of

.
him for he makes sundry e fforts to reply wi thout delivering

, ,
himself of any other articulate uttera nce than th a t he has a

singular look .
“
A doubl e look, you mea n sir re oins W e g g playing , , j ,
“ ’
bitterly upon the word That s h i s look Any amount of . .
singular look for me but not a d ouble look ! That s an ,

’
underhanded mind , sir .
‘
Do you say there s something agai n st him Venu s asks
’
.
Somethi n g against him repeats W e gg Something .
What would the relief be to m y feelings— as a fellow m a n -
i f I wasn t the slave of truth and didn t fe el myself com

’ ’
pe ll e d to answer Everything !
”
,
See into what wonderful maudlin refuges featherless

ostriches plunge their head s It is such u n speakable moral
compensation to W e gg to be overcome by the c o nsi d eration
that Mr Ro k e s m i th h a s an un d erhanded mind
.
On this starlight night Mr Ve nu s he re marks wh e n he , .

,
”
is showing that friendly m over out across the yar d a n d bo th ,

“
are something the worse for mixing again and again on
this starlight night to think th at talking over strangers an d -
,
underhanded mi n ds c a n go wal king home u n der th e s k v as

,
if they was all square

3 6 0 O UR MUTUAL F RI E ND
The Spectacle of those orbs says Mr Venus gazing
,
.
,
“
upward with his hat tumbling off brings heavy on me her
,
crushing words that she did not wish to regard herself nor
yet to be regarded in that
I know ! I know ! You needn t repeat em says W e gg
’ ’
, ,
“
pressing his hand . But think how those stars steady me
i n the cause of the right against some that shall be nameless .
It isn t that I bear malice But see how they gliste n with
’
.
old remembrances ! Old remembrances of what sir ? ,
Mr Venus begins drearily replying Of her words in h e r

.
“
, ,
own handwriting that she does not wish to regard herself

, ,
nor yet when Silas cuts him short with dignity .
N O sir ! Remembrances of Our House of Master

, ,
George of Aunt Jane of Uncle Parker all laid waste Al l

, , ,
o ffered up sacrifices to the minion of fortune and the worm

of the hour
3 6 2 O UR MUTU AL FRI E ND
she Should examine herself very closely on the congruity o r
stability of her position in Mr Bo ffin s house And as s h e .
’
.
had never been Sparing of compla i nts of her o ld home when

she had no other to compare it with so there was no novelty ,
of ingratitude or disdain in her very much preferrin g her

n e w one .
An invaluable man is Ro k e s m i th said Mr Boffi n after , .

,
“
some two or three months But I can t quite make him .
’
ou t.
”
Neither could Bella so she found the subj ect rather ,
interesting .
“
He takes more care of my a ffai rs morning noon and , , ,
“
night said Mr B o ffin than fifty other men put together
,
”
.
,
either co u ld or woul d and yet he has ways of his own that

are like tying a sca ffolding pole right across the road and -
,
bringing me up short when I am almost a walking arm i n

'
- -
”
arm with him .
“
May I ask how so sir inquired Bell a , .
“ ”
Well my dear said Mr Bo ffi n
,
he won t meet any ,
.
,
’
comp any here but you When we have visitors I should,

.
,
wish him to have his regular place at the table li ke ourselves ;

’ ”
b u t n o he won t take it
,
.
If he considers h imself above it said Miss Bella with , ,

“
an airy toss of her head I should leave him alone , .
”
“ ”
It ain t that my dear replied Mr Bo ffin thinking it
’
, ,
.
,
“ ’ ”
over . He don t consider himself above it .
Perhaps h e considers himself beneath it Suggested Bella ,

.
”
If so he ought to know best .
NO my dear ; nor i t ain t that neither No repeated

,
’
.
, , ,
Mr Bo ffi n with a shake of his head after again thinking it

.
, ,
over ; Rok e s m i th s a modest man but he don t consider

“ ’
,
’
”
himself ben e ath it .
“
Then wha t does he consider sir ? asked Bella , .
Dashed if I know said M r Boffin It se emed at first . .
as if it was only Lightwood that he obj ected to meet And .
”
now it seems t o be everybody except you ,
.
“
Oho ! thought Miss Bella “
I n — deed ! Th a t s it is
” ’
.
,
it !”
For Mr Mortimer Lightwoo d h a d dined there two o r
.
three times and she had met him elsewhere and he had
, ,
“
shown her s o nr e a ttention Rather cool in a Secretary .
and Pa s lodger — to make me the subj ect of his j ealousy !

’ ’
That Pa s daughter should be SO contemptuou s of Pa s

’ ’
lodger wa s odd but there were O dder anomalies than that i n

’
PA S L O DG E R TO O 6
3 3
the mind of the Spoilt girl : the doubly spoilt girl : Spoilt
’
first by poverty and then by wealth Be it this history s
,
.
p a rt
,
however to leave them
,
to unravel th emselves .
“ ”
A little too much I think Miss Bella reflected scorn
, ,
“
fully ,
to have Pa s lodger laying claim to me and keeping
’
eligible people off A little too much indeed to have the , ,
opportunities O pened to me by Mr and Mrs Boffi n appro . .
p r i a te d by a mere Secretary and Pa s lodger

Yet it was not so very long ago that Bella had been
fluttered by the discovery that thi s same Secretary and lodger
seemed to like her Ah ! but the eminently aristocratic
.
mansion and Mrs Boffin s dressmaker had not come into

.
’
play then .
In Spite of his seemingly retiring manners a very intrusive ,

’
person this Secretary and lodger in Miss Bella s opinion
, , .
Al ways a light i n his o ffic e room when we came home from -
the play or Opera and he always at the carriage door to

,
-
hand us out Always a provoking radiance too on Mrs Bo fli n s

. .
’
face and an abominably cheerful reception of him as if it

, , .
were possi ble seriously to approve what the man had in his
mind !
“
You never charge me Miss Wil fer said the Secretary , , ,
encountering her by chance alone in the great drawing room -

,
“
with commission s for home I shall always be happy t o .
execute any commands you may have in that directi on .
“
Pray what may yo u mean Mr Rok e s m i th ? inquired , .
”
Miss Bella with languidly drooping eyelids

, .
By home I mean y our father s house at Holloway ’

.
She coloured u nder the retort — s o skilfully thrust that ,
the words seemed to be merely a plain answer given in ,
plain good faith— and said rather more emphatically and ,
sharply :
“
What commissions and commands are you Speaking
Only such little word s of remembrance as I assume yo u

send somehow or other replied the Secretary with his ,
”
,
“
former air It would be a pleasure to me if you would
.
make me the bearer of them As you know I come and go .

,
between the two houses every d a y .
“ ’
You needn t remind me of that Si r ,
.
“
She was too quick in this petulant sally against Pa s ’
lodger and she felt that she had been so when she met h i s
quie t look .
They don t send many— what was your expression
’
words of remembrance to m e said Bella m aking haste to ,

”
take refuge in ill usage -

.
They fr e qu e n tly a s k me about you and I gi ve them such

'
slight intelligence as I can .
’
I hope it s truly given exclaimed Bella , .
I hope y o u cannot doubt it for it would be very much ,

”
against you if you could
,
.
No I do not doubt it I deserve the reproach which is

,
.
,
very j u st indeed I beg your pardon Mr Ro k e s m i th

.
‘
,
. .
”
“
I sho u ld beg you not to do so but that it shows you ,
to such admirable ad v antage he replied with earnestness , , .
“
F orgi ve me ; I could not help saying that To return to .
what I have digressed from let me add that perhaps they ,
think I report them to you deliver little messages and the , ,
like Bu t I forbear to trouble you as you never ask me

.
, .
“ ”
I am going sir said Bella looking at him as if he had
, , ,
reproved her to see them to morrow

,
-
.
”
Is that he asked hesitating
,
said to me or to , , ,
them
To which y o u please .
To both Shall I make it a message

Y ou can if you l i ke Mr Rok e s m i th Message or no , . .
message I am going to see them to morrow

,
-
.
“ ”
Then I will tell them so .
He lingered a moment as though to give her the oppo r ,
tu n i ty of prolonging the conversation if she wished As Sh e .
remained silent he left her , Two incid ents of the little .
interview were felt by Miss Bella herself when alone again , ,
to be very curious The first was that he unquestionably

.
,
left her with a penitent air upon her and a penitent feeling ,
in her heart The second was that Sh e had not had an

.
, ,
intention o r a thought of going home, u ntil s h e had

'
ann ou nced it to him as a settled design .
“ ”
What can I mean by it or what can he mean by it ? ,
“
was her mental inquiry He has no right to any power .
over me and how do I come to mind h i m when I don t care

,
’
for him
’
Mrs Boffin insisting that Bella should make to morrow s
.
-
expedition in the chariot she went home in great grandeur ,

.
Mrs Wilfer and Miss Lavin ia had speculated much on the

.
probab i lities and improbabilities of her coming in this

gorgeous state and on beholding the chariot from the window
,
B E LL A V I SITS HER H O M E 6
3 7
at which they were secreted to look out for it a greed that it ,
must be detained at the door as long as poss ible for th e ,
m o r ti fic a ti o n and confusion of the neighbo u rs Then they .
repaired to the usual family room to receive Miss B ella with ,
a becoming Show of indiff erence .
The famil y room looked very small and very m ean a n d ,
the downward staircase by which it was attained looked very

narrow and very crooked The little house and all its arrange.
ments were a poor contrast to the eminently aristocratic “
“
dwelling I can hardly believe thought Bella
. that I , ,
ever did endure life in this place .

”
Gloomy maj esty on the part of Mrs Wilfer an d native .

,
pertness on the part of La v vy did not mend the matter , .
Bella really stood in natu ral need of a little help and Sh e ,
got none .
This said Mrs Wi lfer presenting a cheek to be kissed

, .
, ,
as sympathetic and responsive a s the back of the bowl of a

“
spoon is quite an honou r ! You wil l probably find your
,
siste r La v v y grown Bella ,

.
”
“ ” “
Ma Miss Lavini a interposed there can be no O bj ection
, ,
to your being aggravati n g because Bella richly deserves it ; ,
but I really mu st request that you will not dra g in such

ridiculous n onsense as my having grown when I am past the
growing age .
”
“ “
I grew myself Mrs Wilfer sternly proclaimed after I
, .
,
was married .
”
“
Very well Ma returned La vv y ,
then I think you had
, ,
much better have left it alone .
The lo fty glare with which the m aj estic woman received

this answer might have embarrassed a less per t opponent
, ,
but it had no e ffect upon Lavinia : who leaving her parent ,
to the enj oyment of any amount of glaring that she might

deem desirable under the circumstances accosted her sister , ,
undismayed .
I suppose you won t consider yourself quite disgraced

’
Bella if I give you a kiss ? Well ! And how do you do

, ,
Bella ? And how are your Bo fli n s

“ ”
Peace ! exclaimed Mrs Wilfer Hold ! I will not . .
su ffer this tone of levity .
“
My goodness me How are your Spofli n s then said ,
La v v y since Ma so ver y much objects to yo u r Bo ffin s ”

, .
Impertinent girl Minx said Mrs Wilfer , with dread .
severity .
3 6 8 OUR MUTUAL F RI E ND
I don t care whether I am a Mi nx or a Sphinx r e tri r n e d
’
, ,
“
Lavinia cooll y tossing her head ;
,
it s exactly the same
,
’
’
th i ng to me and I d every bit as soon be one as the other ;
,
but I know thi s — I ll not grow after I am married ’
Y ou wi l l not You wi ll not repe a ted Mrs Wil fer

? ”
.
,
solemnl y .
No Ma I will not Nothin g shall i nduce me

, , . .
Mrs Wilf er having waved her gloves b e came loft i ly

.
, ,
“
pathetic But it was to be expec ted
. thus she spake .
“
A chil d of mi ne deserts me for the proud and prospe rous ,
and ano ther child of mine despises me It is qui te fitting . .

”
“
,
”
Ma Bell a struck in Mr and Mrs Boffin are pros , . .
p e r o u s no doubt ; but you have n o right to say they are

,
proud You must know very wel l that they are not
. - .
“
In short Ma said Lav vy bouncing over to the enemy
, , ,
witho u t a word of n otice you must know very well —~ or i f ,
you don t more shame for you — that Mr and Mrs B offin
’
, . .
are j ust absolute perfection .
“
Truly returned Mrs Wi lfer courteously receiving the
,
”
.
,
“
deserter it would seem that we are required to think so
, .
And t hi s Lavinia is my reason for objectin g to a tone of

“
, ,
le vity Mrs Bo ffin (of whose physiognomy I can n ever

. .
speak with the composure I wo ul d desi re to preserve) and

yo u r mother are not on terms of intimacy It is not for a .
moment to be supposed that she an d her husband dare to

presume to speak of this famil y as the W ilfe r s I cannot .
therefore condescend to speak of the m as the Bo ffins No .
for such a tone — call it famil iarity lev ity equ al ity or wha t
_
, ,
you wil l — would imply those social in terchanges which do

,
not exi st DO I render myself intelligible

.
Without taking t h e leas t notice O f this inquiry albeit ,
delivered in an i m posing and forensic manner Lavinia ,

“ ’
reminded her s i s ter After a ll you kn ow Bell a y o u haven t , , , ,
told us how your W h a ts h i s n a nr e s are .

”
I don t want to speak of the m here replied Bella sup

’
, ,
press i ng in dignation and tapping her foot on the floor ,

.
They are much too kin d an d too good to be drawn into

these discussions .
”
Why put it so ? demanded Mrs Wil fer with bit i ng ”

.
,
“
sarcas m Why adopt a circuitous form of speech ? It is
.
l
polite and it is obliging ; but why do it ? Why not op en y
say that they are much too k i nd an d too good for u s ? We
understand the allusion Why disguise the phrase .
Bo ffi ns have set Bella against me and I tell the Bo ffins ,
-
to their faces which was not strictly the fact b u t ,

“
the young lady was excited that they are detestable
Bo ffi ns disreputable Bo ffin s odious Bofli n s beastly Boffin s
, , , .
There
Here Miss Lavinia burst into tears .
The front garden ga te clanked and the Secretary was seen -

,
“
co ming at a brisk pace up the steps Leave me to open .
th e door to him
”
said Mrs Wilfer rising with stately r e s i g
,
.
,
“
nation as she shook her head and dried her eyes we have .
at present no stipen diary girl to do so We have nothing .
to conceal If he sees thes e traces of emotion on ou r cheeks

.
,
let h i m construe them as he may .

”
With those words she stalked out In a few moments she .
stalked in again proclaiming in her heraldic manner , ,

“
Mr Rok e s m i th is the bearer of a packet for Miss Bella
.
Wilfer .
’
Mr Rok e s m i th followed close upo n his name and of

.
,
cou rse saw what wa s amiss But he discreetly a ffected to see .
nothing and addressed Miss Bella

, .
“
Mr Bo ffin intended to have placed this in the carriage
.
for you this morning He wished y o u to have it as a little .
keepsake he had prepared — i t is only a p u rse Miss Wilfer ,
but as he was disappointed in his fancy I volunteered to ,

”
come after you with it .
Bella t ook it in her hand and thanked him , .
We have been quarrelling here a little Mr Rok e s m i th , , .
but not more than we used you know our agreeable ways
a m ong ourselves You find me j ust going Good bye
. .
-
,
ma m m a Good bye La v v y !
. And with a kiss for each
-
,
”
Miss Bella t u rned to the door The Secretary would have .
attended her b u t Mrs Wilfer advancing and saying with

, .
“
dignity Pardon me ! Permit me to assert my natural
,
right to escort my child to the equipage which is in wait

ing for her he begged pardon and gave place It was a
,
”
.
very mag n ificent spectacle indeed to see Mrs Wilfer throw ,

.
O pen the house door and lou dly demand with extended ,
“
gloves The male domestic of Mrs Boffi n
,
To whom .
,
presenting himself she delivered the brief but maj estic ,
charge Miss Wilfer Coming out

,
and so delivered her .
over l i ke a femal e Lieutenant of the Tower relin quishing a

,
State Prisoner The effect of this ceremonial was for some

.
quarter of an hour afterwards perfectly par alysing on the

B E LL A G O ES INT O THE CI TY 371
neighbours and was much enhanced by the worthy lady
,
airing herself for that term in a kin d of splendidly serene

trance on the top step .
When Bella was seated in the carriage sh e opened th e ,
little packet in he r hand It contained a pretty purse and .

,
“
the purse contained a bank note for fifty pounds This -
.
“ ”
sh a ll be a j oyful surprise for poor dear Pa said Bella and , ,
I ll take it myself into the City

’
As she was u ninformed respecting the exact locality of the

place of business of Ch i c k s e y Veneering and Stob b l e s but , , ,
knew it to be near Mincing Lane she directed h erself to be ,
driven to the corner of that darksome spot Thence she .
dispatched the m ale d omestic of Mrs Bo ffin in search of .
the countin g house of Ch i c k s e y Veneering and Stobb l e s

-
, , ,
with a message importing that if R W ilfe r could com e .
out there wa s a lady wait i ng wh o would be glad to speak

,
with h i m The delivery of these mysterious word s from

.
'
the mouth of a footman caused so great an e x c i te m e n t i n the

count ing h ouse that a youthful scout was instantly appointed
-
,
to follow Ru m ty observe the lady and come in with his

, ,
report Nor was the agitation by any means dim ini shed
.
,
when the scout rushed back with the intelligence that th e

lad y was a slap u p gal in a bang u p chariot
- -
.
Ru m ty himself with his pen behin d his ear u n der his

,
rusty hat , arrived at the carriage door in a breathless con -
dition and had been fairly lugged into the vehicle by his
,
cravat and embraced almost unto choking before he recog ,

“
n i s e d his daughter My dear child h e then panted i n
.
,
“
coherently Go od g r acious me ! What a l ovely woman
.
you are ! I thought you had been unkind and forgotte n

you r mother and sister .
“
I have j ust been to see them Pa dear
Oh ! and how—h ow did you find your mother ? a sked
, .
R W dubiously
. .
, .
‘
Very disagreeable Pa an d so was Lav v y , ,
.
They are sometimes a little liable to it observed the ,

“
patient cherub ; but I hope you made a llowances Bella ,
my d ear
NO I was disagreeable too Pa ; we were all of us
.
, ,
disagreeable together But I want you to come and dine

.
with me somewhere Pa , .
“
Why my dear I have al ready partaken of a — i f one
, ,
might mention su ch an article in this superb chariot — Of a

Saveloy replied R Wilfer , modestly dropping his voice on
, .
the word as he eyed the canary coloured fittings

,
-
.
’
Oh That s n othing Pa ,
’
Truly it ain t as much as one could sometimes wish it
,
to be my dear he admitted drawing his han d across his

, ,
”
mouth Still when circumstances over which you have

.
,
no control interpose Obstacles between yourself and S mall

,
Germans you can t do better than bring a contented mind ’
to bear on —
,
again dropping his voice in deference to the

chariot Saveloys
“
You poor good Pa ! Pa do I beg an d pray get leave ,
'
, ,
for the rest Of the day and come and pass it wi th m e ! ,

' '
“
Well my dear I ll cut back a n d ask for leave
, ,
’
.
”
”
But before you cut back said Bella who had already , ,
taken h i m by the chin pulled his hat o ff and begun to stick , ,

“
u p his hair in her old way do say that you are sure I ,
am giddy and in considerate but have never reall y slighted ,
you Pa
,
.
”
“
My dear I say it with all my heart ,
And might I .
likewise observe her father de l icately hinted with a glance

,
”
,
“
out at window that perhaps it might b e calculated to
,
attract attention having one s hair publicly done by a lovely

,
’
woman in an elegant turn out in F enchurch Street -
Bella laughed and put on his hat again Bu t when his .
boyish figu re bobbed away its Shabbiness and cheerful ,

“
patience smote the tears out of her eyes I hate that .
“
Secretary for thinking it of me she said to herself and , ,
yet it seems h alf true

Back ca m e her fat her more like a boy than ever, in his ,
“
release from s c h o ol i All right my dear Leave given a t '
, .
once Really very handsomely done

.
Now where can we find some quiet place Pa in which I , ,
can wait for you while you go on an errand for me if I sen d ,
the carriage a way ? ”
“
It demanded cogitation Y o u see my dear he explai ned .
, , ,
you really have become su ch a very lovely woman that it ,
ought to be a very quiet place At length he suggested .

”
Near the garden u p by the Trinity House on Tower Hill .
SO they were driven there and Bella dismissed the chariot ,
sending a pencilled note by it to Mrs Bo fli n that she was .

,
with her father .
Now Pa attend to what I am going to say and promise

, , ,
and v o w to be obedient .
”
—might look up to — and — and commit the sayings O f, to
memory — and — form himself upon — i f he
If he l i ked the mod el ? suggested Bella .
W e ell y e e s he returned thinking about it not qui te

-
,
-
,
”
, ,
“
satis fied with the phrase or perhaps I might say if it was ,
i n him .Supposing for instance that a man wanted to be

, ,
always marching he would find your mother an inestimable

,
companion Bu t if he had any taste for walking or should

.
,
wish at any time to break into a trot he might somet i mes ,
find it a little di fficult to keep step with your mother Or .
take it th i s way Bella he added after a m o m e n t s r e fle c

, , ,
’
u
“
tion : Supposing that a man had to go through life we ,
’
won t say with a companion but we ll say to a tune Very
’
, .
good . S u pposing that the tune allotted to him was the

Dead March i n Saul Well It would be a very suitable
. .
tune for particular occasions — none better — but i t would be

difficult to keep time with in the ordinary run of domestic
transactions F or instance if he took his supper after a
.
,
hard day to the Dead March in Saul hi s food might be ,
likely to sit hea v y on him Or if he was at any time i n .

,
c li n e d to relieve his mi nd by singing a comic song or

dancing a hornpipe and was obliged to d o it to the D ead
,
March in Saul he might find h imself put out in the e xe c u

,
”
tio n of his lively intentions .
Poor Pa ! thought Bella as she hung upon his arm , .
Now what I will s a y for you my dear the cherub , ,

”
pursued mildly and without a notion of complaining ,
that you are so adaptable SO adaptable . .
“
Indeed I am afraid I have shown a wr e tc h e d temper Pa ,
.
I a m afraid I have b een very complaining an d very capri ,
cions I seldo m or never thought of it before But when

. .
I sat in the carriage j u st now and saw you coming along the
pavement I reproached myself
,
.
”
Not at all my dear Don t speak of such a thing

, .
’
.
A happy and a chatty man was Pa in his new clothes that

day Take it for all in all it was perhaps the happiest day
.
,
he had ever known in his life ; not even excepting that on

which his heroic partner had approached the nuptial altar
to the tune of the Dead March in Saul .
The little expedition down the river was delightful and ,
the little room overlooking the river into which they were
shown for dinner was delightful Everything was delightful . .
The park was delightful the punch wa s delightfu l the dishes

, ,
A D E LIGH T F UL E X P EDITI O N 3 75
of fis h were delightful t h e wine was delightful Bella wa s
.
,
.
more delightful than any other item in the festival drawi n g

Pa out in the gayest manner ; making a point of always
me ntioning herself as the lovely woman stimulatin g Pa to
order thin gs by declaring that the lovely woman insisted on
,
being treated with them ; and in short causing Pa to be

quite enraptured with the consideration that he wa s th e Pa
of such a charming daughter .
And then as they sat looking at the ships and steamboats

,
,
making their way to the sea with the tide that was running
down the lovely woman imagined all sorts of voyages for
,
herself and Pa Now Pa in the character of owner of a

.
, ,
lumberin g square s a iled collier was tacking away to New

-
,
castle to fetch black diamonds to m a ke his fortune with ;

,
now Pa was going to China in that handsome three masted

,
-
ship to bring home opium with which he would for e ver

, ,
cut out Ch i c k s e y Veneering an d Stobb l es an d to brin g

, , ,
.
home silks and shawls without end for the decoration of

his charmi n g daughter Now John Harmon s di sastrous .
,
’
fate was all a dream and he had come home and fou nd the
,
.
lovely woman j ust the article for him and the lovely woman -
,
had found him just th e article for her and they were going ,
away on a trip in their gallant bark to look after their vines

, , ,
with streamers flying at all po ints a b a n d p l a y i n g on deck ,
and Pa established in the great cabin Now J o h n Harmon

,
.
/
was consigned to his grave again and a merchant of i m mense ,
wealth (name unknown ) had courted a n d m arried the l ovely

woman and he was so enormously rich that everythi n g you
,
saw upon the river sailing or steami n g belonged to him a n d ,
he kept a perfect fleet of yachts for ple a sure an d that little ,
impudent yacht which you saw over there with the great ,
white sail was called The Bella in h onou r of his wife and
, , ,
she held her state aboard when it pleased her like a modern ,
Cleopatra Anon there would embark in that troop sh ip

.
,
-
when she got to Gravesend a mighty general of large pro , ,
perty (name also unknown ) who wouldn t hear of goi n g ,

’
to victory without his wife and whose wife wa s the lovely ,
woman and she w as destined to become th e idol of all the

,
red coats and blue jackets alow and aloft

- -
And then a gain : .
you saw that ship being t owed out by a steam tug Wel l ! -
where did you suppose she was going to She was going
among the coral reefs and cocoa nuts and all that sort of -
thi n g and she was chartered for a fortunate individual of

,
the name of Pa (himself on board and mu ch respected by ,
all hands) and she was going for his sole profit and a d va n
, ,
tage to fetch a cargo of sweet smelling woods the most

,
-
,
beautiful that ever were seen and the most profitab e that ,
l
never were heard of and her cargo would be a great fortune , ,
as indeed it ought to be : the lovely woman wh o had pur

chased her and fitted her expressly for this voyage being ,
married to an Indian Prince who was a Something or Other ,

- -
,
and who wore Cashmere shawls all over himself and dia ,
‘
monds and emeralds blazing in his turban and was beauti ,
fully coffee coloured and excessively devoted thou gh a little

-
,
too jealous Thus Bella ran on merrily in a manner per

.
,
fe c tl y enchanting to Pa who was as willing to put his head ,
into the Sultan s tub of water as the beggar boys below the
’
-
window were to put th ei r heads in the mud .
“
I suppose my dear said Pa after dinner
,
we may , ,
come to the conclusion at home that we have lost you for ,
good
’
Bella shook her head Didn t know Couldn t say All . .
’
.
she was able to report was that she was most handsomely ,
supplied with everything she could possibly Want and that ,
whenever she hinted at leaving Mr and Mrs Bo ffin they . .

,
wouldn t hear of it
’
.
And n o w Pa pursued Bella I ll m ake a confession to

“
, ,
”
,
’
you I am the most mercenary little wretch that ever lived

.
in the world .
I sh ould hardly have thought it of you m y dear , ,
returned her father first glancing at himself and then at , ,
the dessert .
“
I understand what you mean Pa but it s not that I t s , ,
’
.
’ ’
not that I care for money to keep as money but I do care ,
so much for what it will buy

“
Really I think most of us do returned R W
, , . .
”
But not to the dreadful extent that I do Pa O O ! ,
.
-
cried Bella screwing the exclamation out of herself with

,
a twist of her di mpled chin “

I AM so mercena ry ! .
With a wistful glance R W said in default of having . .

,
anything bette r to say : About when did you begin to feel

it coming on my dear ? ,
“
That s it Pa That s the terrible part of it When
’
, .
’
.
I was at home and only knew what it was to be poor I

, ,
grumbled but didn t so much mind When I was at home

,
’
.
expecting to be rich I thought vaguely of all the great ,

37 8 OU R MUTU AL F RI E ND
Yes Pa that is the state of the case If ever there was
, , .
a mercenary plotter wh ose thoughts and designs were always

i n her mean occupation I am the amiable creatu re But , .
I don t care I hate and detest being poor and I won t b e

’
.
poor i f I c a n marry money No w you are deliciou sly flu ffy

,
.
,
Pa and i n a state to astonish the waiter and pay th e

,
b ill .
Bu t my dear Bella this is quite alarming at your age

, , .
’
I told y o u so Pa but you wouldn t believe it returned , , ,
Bella with a pleasant childish gravity

,
Isn t it shocking .
’
“
It would be qu ite so if you fully knew what you said , ,
”
m y dear or meant it ,
.
Well Pa I can only tell you th a t I mean nothing else

, , .
”
Talk to me of love ! said Bella contemptuously : though ,
her face and figure certainly rendered the subject no i n c o n

“
gr u o u s o ne Talk to me of fiery dragons ! But talk to
.
me of poverty and wealth and there indeed we touch upon ,

”
realities .
‘
My De a r this is becoming Awful her father was
,
emphatically beginning when she stopped him .
Pa tell me Did y ou marry money

, .
’
You know I didn t my dear , .
”
Bella hummed the Dead March in Saul and said after all , ,
it sign ified v e r y l ittl e But seeing him look grave and down
c a s t she took h i m round the neck and kissed him back to
,
cheerfulness again .
’
“
I didn t mean that last tou c h , Pa ; it was only said i n
'
j oke Now mind ! You are n ot to tell of me and I ll not
.
,
.
tell of you And more than that ; I promise to have no

.
secrets from you Pa and you may make certain tha t what , , ,
ever mercenary things go o n I shall always tell you all ,
about them i n strict confidence .
Fai n to be satisfied with this concession from th e lovely

“
woman R W rang the bell and paid the bill
,
“
. . Now all , .
‘
the res t of this Pa said Bella rolling up the pu rse when , ,

’
t h ey were alone again hammering it small with her little ,
fis t on the table and cramming it into one of the pockets of ,

“
his new waistcoat is fo r you to buy presents with for , ,
the m at home and to pay bills with and to divide as you , ,
li k e and spen d exactly as you think proper Last of all

,
.
t a k e notice Pa that it s not the fruit of any av a riciou s

, ,
’
s c h eme Perhaps if it was your little mercenary wretch of

.
,
’ ”
a daughter would n t make so free with it .
C O NTRADICT O RY W I SH ES 3 79
After which sh e tu gged at h i s coat with both h a n ds a n d ,
pulled him all askew in buttoning that garment over th e

precious waistcoat pocket an d then tied her d i m p les into
,
her bonnet strings in a very k nowing way a n d took him

-
,
b a ck to London Arrived at Mr Bo ffin s door s h e set h i m with

. .
’
his back a gainst it ten d erly took him b y the ears as con
,
ve u lent h a ndle s fo r her purpose a n d kissed h i m until h e

,
knocked mu ffled double k n ock s at the door with the b a ck of

his head That done she once more reminded him of their
.
,
compact and gaily parted from h i m .
Not so gaily, however but that tears filled h e r ey e s a s

,
he went away d own th e dark street Not so gaily b u t that .

,
she several times said Ah poor littl e Pa

“
, ,
Ah po o r de ar ,
'
struggling shabby little Pa ! before she took he a r t to k n o ck

a t the d oor .Not so gaily but that th e brilliant furnitur e
,
seemed to stare her out of countenan ce as if it i n sisted o n '
being compared with the d ingy furniture at ho m e Not so .
gaily but that she fell into very low spirits sitt i n g l a te in
,
h e r own room and very heartily wept , as she wishe d n ow

, ,
that the deceased old John Harmon had never m a d e a wi l l

about her now that the deceased y o u n g JO h n Harmon h a d
'
,
“ ”
lived to marry her . Contra d ictory things to wish s a id ,
“
Bella,
but my life an d fortu nes are so contra dictory a l to
gether that what can I expect myse l f to be
C HAP T ER I X
I N W HI C H THE RPHAN MAKE S HI S W ILL

O
THE Secretary working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next

,
m o rning was informed that a youth waited i n the hall who

,
gave the name of Sl oppy The footman who communicated .
t his in te lligence made a d ecent pause before uttering the

na m e to express that it was forced on his reluctance by the
,
yo u th in question and that if the youth had had the good

,
sense and good taste to inherit some other name it would

have spared the feelings of him the bearer .
Mrs Boffin will be very well pleased said the Secretary

.
,
”
in a perfectly composed way Show him in . .
Mr Sloppy be i n intro duced remained close to the door

.
g
,
revealing in various parts of his for m many surprising con ,
founding and i n co mprehensible buttons

, .
“
I a m glad to see you said J o h rr Ro k e s m i th in a cheerful
,
”
,
tone of welco m e I have been expecting you

. .
”
Sloppy explai n ed that he had mea n t to come before but ,
that the Orphan (of who m he made mention as O u r J ohnny)

had been ailing and he had waited to report him well
, .
Then he is well n o w said the Secretary

NO he ai n t said Sloppy
.
’ ”
.
, ,
Mr Slop py ha v i n g shaken hi s head t o a considerable

.
extent p roceed d to remark that he thought Johnny m u st

,
e
“
,
’
have took e m fr om the Minders Being asked what he .
”
meant he answered them that come out upon him and

, ,
p a r ti c k l e r his chest Being requested to explain himself he

.
,
sta ted that there wa s some of em wot you couldn t kiver ’ ’
wit h a S ixp ence Pressed to fall back upon a nominative

.
case he opined that they wos about as red as ever red could
,
be.
B ut as long as they strikes o u t a r d s Si r continued ’
, ,
”
“ ’
Slop py ,they ai n t so much It s their striking i n a r d s
’
.
’
’
that s to be kep o ff .
John Ro k e s m i th hoped the child had had medical atten

’
dance Oh yes said Sloppy he had been took to the doctor s
, ,
Sloppy stayed there Staring at the pattern of the paper ,
on the wall u ntil the Secretary and Mrs Bo ffi n came back
, .
together And with Mrs Bo ffi n was a young lady (Miss

. .
Bella Wilfer by name) who was better worth sta ring at it ,
occ u rred to Sloppy than the best of wall papering ,

-
.
'
Ah my poor dear pretty little John Harmon

, exclaimed
‘
Mrs Bofli n
. .
Yes mum said the sympathetic Sloppy

, , .
Y o u don t thi n k he is in a very very bad way do

’
, ,
yo u asked the pleasant creature with her wholesome

cordiality .
P u t upo n his go od faith and find i ng it in collision with ,
his inclinations Sloppy threw back his head and uttered,
a m e l l iflu o u s howl rounded off with a sniff , .
“
SO bad as that cried Mrs Boffi n And Betty Higden . .
not to tell m e of it sooner

I think she might h ave been mis trustful mum answered , ,
Sloppy hesitating , .
Of what for Heaven s sake ,

’
I think Sh e might have been mistrustful mum return ed , ,
Sloppy with submission of standing in Our Johnny s light ,

’
.
Ther e s SO m u ch tro u ble in il ln ess and so much expense and

’
, ,
’
she s seen such a l o t of its being obj ected to
'
.
”
“
Bu t she never can have thought said Mrs Bo ffin that ”
.
, ,
I would grudge the dear child anyth ing

No m u m b u t she might have thought (as a habit l i ke) of
, ,
-
its s tanding in Johnny s light and might have tried to bring ’
hi m through it unbeknownst
”
.
Sloppy kne w his ground well To conceal herself in .
sickness like a lower animal to creep out of sight an d coil

,
’
herself away and die had become this woman s instinct T o ,
.
catch up i n her arms the sic k child who was dear t o her and ,
hide i t as if it were a cri m inal and keep o ff all m inistration ,
b u t s u ch as her O wn ignorant tenderness and patience could

sup ply had become this woman s idea of maternal love
,
’
,
fidelity a n d duty The shameful accounts we read every

, .
,
week in the Christian year my lords and gentlemen and ,
hono u rable boards the infamous records of small official ,
inhumanity do not pass b y the people as they pass by us

,
.
And hence these irrational blind and obstinate prej udices so , , ,
astonishing to our magnificence and having no more reaso n ,
i n them — God save the Q u een and Con fou nd their politics -
— no than smoke has in coming fro m fire

,
’
J O HNNY S V I SITO R S 8
3 3
It s n ot a right place for the poor child to stay in said
’
Mrs Boffin
.
“
Tell us dear Mr Ro k e s m i th what to do for
,
.
,
the best .
He h a d already thought what to do and the consultation ,
wa s very short He could pave the way he s aid in half a n

.
, ,
“
hour and then they would go down to Brentford
,
Pray .
take me said Bella Therefo re a carriage wa s ordered of

,
.
,
capacity to take them all and in the meantime Sloppy wa s ,
regaled feasting alone in the Secretary s r oonr with a complete

,
’
realization of that fairy vision — meat beer vegetables and , , ,
pudding In consequence of which h i s buttons became more

.
importunate of public notice than before with the exception ,
O f two or three about the region of the waistband which ,
modestly withdrew into a creasy retirement .
Punc tual to the time appeared the carriage and the

Secretary He sat on the box and Mr Sloppy graced the
.
,
.
rumble SO to The Three Ma gpies a s before : where Mrs

. .
Boffin and Miss Bella were handed out and whence they all ,
went on foot to Mrs Betty Higden s

’
. .
B u t on the way down they h ad stopped at a toy shop and -

,
h ad bought that noble charger a description of whose points ,
and trappin gs h ad on the last occasion conciliated the thei r

’
worldly minded orphan and also a Noah s ark a n d also a
-
, ,
yello w bird with an artificial voice in him and also a milita r y ,
doll so well dressed that if he h a d only been of life size his -
brother offi c e r s in the Gu a rds might never have found him

-
out. Bearing these gifts they raised th e latch of Betty ,
Higden s door and saw her sitting in th e di m mest and

’
furthest corner with poor Johnny in her l a p .
“
And how s my boy Betty ? asked Mrs Bo ffi n sitting
’
,
.
,
down beside her .
“ ’
He s bad ! He s bad ! said Betty
’
I begin to be ”
.
a fe e r d he ll n ot be yours any more than mine All others

’
.
belonging to him have gone to the Power and the Glory a n d ,
I have a mind that they re drawing him to them — leading ’
him away .
”
NO no no said Mrs Bofli n

, , , . .
I don t kn ow why else he cl enches his li t tle han d as if it

’
had hold of a finger that I can t see Look at it s aid Betty ’

.
, ,
O pening the wrappers in W hich the flushed child lay and ,
showing his smal l right hand lying closed upon his breas t .
“
I t s always so
’ ’
It don t mind me . .
”
Is he asleep
8
No I think not You re not asleep my Johnny
,
.
’
No said Johnny with a quiet air of pity for hi mself

, , ,
and without opening his eyes .
Here s the lady Johnny And the horse

’
,
. .
Johnny could bear the lady with complete indifferen ce ,
but not the horse Opening his heavy eyes he slowly broke
.
,
in to a smile on beholding that Splendid phenomenon an d ,
wanted to take it in his arms As it was much too big it .

,
was put upon a chair where he co u ld hold it by the mane

and contemplate it Which he soon forgot to do . .
But Johnny mur muring something with his eyes closed ,
an d Mrs Bo ffin not knowing what old Be tty bent her ear
.
,
to listen and took pains to u nderstand B ei ng aske d by her .
to repeat what he had said he did so two or three times , ,
and then it came out that he must have seen more than they
suppose d when he looked up to see the horse for the murmu r ,
“ ”
was ,
Who is the b o o fe r lady ? Now the b oo fe r or ,
beauti ful lady was Bella and whereas this notice from the
,
poor baby would have touched her of itself it was ren dered ,
more pathetic by the late melting of her heart to her poor

little father and their j oke about the lovely woman So
, .
Bella s behaviour was very tender and very natu ral when she
’
kneeled on the brick floor to clas p the child and when the ,
ch i ld with a child s admi ration of what is young and pretty

,
’
fondled the b o ofe r lady .
Now my good dear Betty said Mrs Bofii n hoping that

, , .
,
she saw her O pportunity and laying her han d persuasively ,

“
o n her arm ; we have come to remove Johnny fr om this
cottage to where he can be ta ken bette r care of .
”
Instantly and before another word could be spok en the

, ,
O l d woman started up with blazing eyes and rushed at the ,
door with the sick child .
“ ”
Stand away from me every one of ye ! she cried o u t ,
wildly I see what y e mean now Let me go my way all

. .
,
of ye I d sooner kill the Pretty and ki ll myse lf

.
’
, .
”
S tay stay said Rok e s m i th soothing her

, You don t , .
’
understand .
”
I understand too well I know too mu ch about it sir .

, .
’
I ve run fro m it too many a year No ! Never for me nor .
,
for the chil d while there s water enough i n England to

,
’
cover us
The terror the shame the pas sion of horror and r e p u g
, ,
nance firin g the worn face and perfectly madde ni ng it would

, ,
MRS
’
. HIGD E N S F E AR S 8
3 7
have been a q u ite terrible sight if embodied in one old ,
fellow creature alone Yet it crops up — as our slang goes

-
—m y lords and gentlemen and honourable boards in other

.
fellow creatures rather frequently !

-
It s been chasing me all my life bu t it shall never

’
take me nor mine alive ! cried old Betty “

I ve done ”
.
’
with ye I d have fastened door a n d window and star ved

.
’
o ut afore I d ever have let ye in if I had known what ye

,
’
came for !
B ut catching sight of Mrs Bo ffin s wholesome face she
, .
’
relented and crouching down by the door and bending over

,
“
her bu rden to hush it said humb ly : Maybe my fears has ,
put me wrong If they have so tell me and the good Lord

.
, ,
forgive me ! I m quick to take this fright I kn ow and my

’
, ,
’
head is summ at l ight with wearying and watching
“
There there there ! returned Mrs Bo ffin
, ,
Come ”
. .
,
come ! Say no more of it Betty It was a mistake a mis ,

.
,
take Any one o f us might have made it in your place and

.
,
”
felt j ust as you do .
The Lord bless ye ! said the ol d woman stretching out ”

,
her hand .
Now see Betty pursued the sweet compassionate soul

, , ,
“
holding the hand kindly what I really did mean and what , ,
I should have begun by saying out if I had onl y been a little ,
wiser and handier We want to move Johnny to a place.
where there are non e b u t children a place set up on purpose

for sick children ; where the good doctors a n d nurses pass
their lives with children talk to none but children touch , ,
none but children C o mfort and cure none but children

,
.
”
Is there really such a place asked the old woman with ,
a gaze of wonder .
Yes Betty on my word and you shall see it If my

, , ,
.
’
home was a better place for the dear boy I d take him to ,
it but indeed indeed it s not ’

.
Y o u shall take him returned Betty fer vently kissing

”
, ,
“
the comforting hand where you will my deary I am not , , .
so hard but that I believe your face and voice and I will , ,
as long as I can see and hear .

”
This V icto ry gained Rok e s m i th made haste to profit by it

, ,
for he saw how wofully time had been lost He dispatched .
Sloppy to bring the carriage to the door ; caused the child

to be carefully wrapped up ; bade old Betty get her bonne t
on ; collected the toys enabling the little fellow to compre ,
3 88 O UR MUTUAL F RIE ND
hend that his treasures were to be transported with him ;
and had all things prepared so easily that they were ready
for the carriage as soon as it appe ared and in a minute ,
afterwards were on their way Sloppy they left behi nd r e .

,
lieving his overcharged breast with a paroxysm of mangling .
At the Children s Hospital the gallant steed the Noah s

’
, ,
’
ark the yellow bird and the o ffi cer in the Guards were mad e
, , ,
as welcome as their child owner B u t the doctor said aside -

.
to Rok e s m i th This should have been days ago TO O l ate

“
,
.
However they were all carried up into a fresh airy room

, ,
and there Johnny came to himself out of a sleep or a swoon ,
or whatever i t was to find himself ly i ng in a littl e quiet bed

, ,
with a little platform over his breast on which were already ,
arranged to give h i m heart and urge him to cheer up the

, ,
Noah s ark the noble steed and the yell ow bird with the
’
, , ,
o ffi cer in the Guards doing duty over the whole quite as ,
much to the satisfaction of his country as if he had been

upon Parade And at the bed s head was a coloured picture
.
’
beautiful to see represent i ng as it were another Johnny seated

,
on the knee of some Angel surely who loved little chil dren .
An d marvellous fact to lie and stare at : Johnny had become

one of a little fa m ily a l l in little quiet beds (except two
,
playi ng dominoes in little arm chairs at a little table on the -
hearth) : and on all the l ittle b e d s were little platforms

whereon were to be seen d olls houses woolly dogs with ’
,
.
mechanical barks in them n ot very dissimilar from the

artificial voice pervading the bowels of the yellow bird tin ,
armi es Moorish tumblers wooden tea things and the riches

, ,
-
of the earth.
.
As Johnny murmured something in his placid admir ation ,
the mi nistering woman at his bed s head asked him what he ’
said It seemed that he wanted to know whether all these

.
were brothers and sisters of his So they told him yes It .
seemed then that he wanted to know whether God had

,
brought them all together there ? So they told him yes

again They made out then that he wanted to know
.
,
whether they would all get out of pain So they answered

yes to that question likewi se and made him understand that ,
the reply included himsel f .
Johnny s powers of sustain ing conversation were as yet so

’
very imperfectly developed even in a s tate of heal th that in , ,
sickness they were little more than monosyllabic But he .
had to be washed and tended and remedies were applied , ,

390 O UR MU TU AL F RI E ND
What is it J ohnny ? ,
Rok e s m i th was the questioner ,
and put an arm round the poor baby as he made a struggle

’
Him ! said the little fellow

”
Those .
The doctor was quick to understand children and taking , ,
the horse the ark th e yellow bird and the man in the
, , ,
Guards from Johnny s bed softly placed them on t h at of

’
, ,
his next nei ghbour the mite with the broken leg
,
.
With a weary and yet a pleased smile and with an action ,
as if he stretched his little figure out to rest the child heaved ,
his body on the sustaining arm and seeking Ro k e s m i th s face

,
’
with h i s lips said ,
A kiss for the b o ofe r lady .
Having n o w bequeathed all he had to d ispose of and ,
arranged his affairs in this world Johnny, thus speaking ,
left it
.
C HA P T ER X
A S UC C E SSOR
S OME of the Reveren d F rank Mi l v e y s brethren had foun d ’
themselves exceedingly uncomfortable in their minds becau se ,
they were required to bury th e dead too hopefully But the .
Reverend F rank inclining to the belief that they were

,
requ ired to do one or two other thin gs (say out of nine and -
thirty) calculated to trouble their consciences rather more if

they would think as much about them , held his peace
Indeed the Reverend F rank Mil v e y wa s a forbearing man
.
who noticed many sad warps and blights in th e vineyard

wherein he worked and did not profess that th ey made him
,
savagely wise He only learned that the more he himself

.
knew in his little limited human way the better he could

, ,
distantly imagine what Omniscience might kno w .
Wherefore i f th e Reverend F ran k had had to read the

,
words that troubled some of his brethren and profitably ,
touched innumerable hearts in a worse case than Johnny s ,

’
he woul d have done so out of the pity and humility of his

soul Reading them over Johnny h e th o u ght of h i s own
.
,
six ch ildren but not of his poverty and read them with
, ,
dimmed eyes And very seriou sly did he and his bright
.
little wife who had been listening look down into the sm all
, ,
grave and walk home arm i n arm - -

.
There was grief in the aristocratic h ouse and there was ,
j oy in the Bower Mr W e gg argued if an orphan were

. .
,
wanted was he not an orphan himself and could a better

, ,
be desired ? And why go beating about B rentford bushes

seeking orphans forsooth who had established no claims upon
you and made no s ac r ifices for you when here was an orphan ,
ready to your hand who had given up in your cause Miss ,
E l izabeth Master George Aunt Jane and Uncle Parker

, , ,
Mr W e gg chuckled conse quently when h e heard the

.
, ,
tidings Nay it was afterwards a ffirmed by a witness who

.
,
shall at present be nameless that in the seclusion of the ,

Bower he poked out his wooden leg i n the stage ball et ,
-
manner and executed a taunting or triumphant p i rou ette

,
on the genuine leg remainin g to him .
John Rok e s m i th s manner towards Mrs Boffin at this time

’
.
was more the manner of a young man towards a mother than ,
that of a Secretary towards his employer s wife It had always ’

.
been marked by a subdued affectionate deference that seemed

to have Sprung up on the very day of his engagement :
whatever was odd in her dress or her ways had seemed to
have no oddity for him ; he had sometimes borne a quietly
amused face in her company but still it had seemed as if the ,
pleasure her genial temper and radiant nature yielded him ,
could have been quite as naturally expressed in a tear as in

a smile The completeness of his sympathy with her fancy
.
for having a little John Harmon to protect a n d rear he had ,
shown in every act and word and now that the kind fancy ,
was disa ppointed he treated it with a manly tenderness and

,
respect for which she could hardly thank him enough .
“
But I do thank you Mr Rok e s m i th said Mrs Boffin , .
,
.
,
and I thank you most kindly You love children . .
“
I hope everybody does .
”
“
They ought said Mrs Boffi n ; but we d on t all Of us
, .
’
do what we ought do us
John Rok e s m i th replied Some among us supply the ,
shortcomings of the rest You have loved children well Mr .

,
.
Bo fli n h a s told me
”
.
“
Not a bit better than he has but that s his way ; he ,
’
puts all the good upon me You speak rather sadly Mr .

, .
Ro k e s m i th
”
.
DO I
It sounds to me so Were you one of many children .
He shook his head .
An only child
No there was another Dead long ago
, . .
Father or mother alive

Dead .
”
And the rest of you r relations

Dead if I ever had any l iving I never heard of .
any .
At this point of the d i a l og u e Be l l a came in with a light '
step She paused at the door a moment hesitating whether

.
,
to remain or retire ; perplexed by finding that she was not

observed .
3 94 O UR MUT UAL F RI E ND
’
case for his Secretary s Op m ro n ; whether one might call
that a superstition
“
It is a matter of feel ing with Mrs Boffin said .
,
“
Ro k e s m i th gently The name has always been u n fortunate
,
. .
It has now this new unfortunate association connected with

it The name has died out Why revive it ? Might I ask
. .
Miss Wilfer what Sh e thinks

“
It has not bee n a fortunate name for me said Bella , ,
colouring — “
or at least it was not until it l ed to my being ,
here — but that is not the point in my thoughts As we had .
given the name to the poor child a n d as the poor child took ,
so lovingly to me I think I should feel j ealous of cal l ing,
another child by it I think I should feel as if the name had .
”
become e n deared to me and I had no right to use it so ,
.
And that s your opinion ? remarked Mr Bo ffin observant

’
.
,
of the Secretary s face and again addressing him ’

.
“ ”
I say again it is a matter of feeling returned the
, ,
Secretary “
I think Miss W i l fe r s feeling very womanly and
.
’
pretty .
”
“
Now give us you r op i n i on Noddy said Mrs Boffi n
, , ,
. .
My O pinion old lady ret u rned the Golden Dust m an

, ,
”
is your Opinion .
”
“
Then said Mrs Boffin,
”
we agree not to revive John .
,
’
Harmon s name but to let it rest in the grave It i s as Mr
, .
, .
Ro k e s m i th says a matter of feeling but Lor how many

, ,
matters a r e mat ters of feeling ! Wel l and so I come to the

sec ond thing I have thought of You must know Bella my .
, ,
dear and Mr Rok e s m i th that when I first named to my

,
.
,
husband my thoughts of adopti ng a little orphan boy i n

remembrance of John Harmon I further named to my ,
husband that it was comfo rting to think that how the poor
’
boy would be benefited by John s own money and protected ,
’
from John s own forlornness .
”
“
Hear hear cried Mr Bofli n
,
So she did An c oa r ! . . .
No not An c o a r Noddy my dear returned Mrs Bo ffin

, , , , .
because I am going to say something else I meant that .
I am sure as much as I still mean it B ut this little death

,
.
has made me ask myself the question seriously whether I , ,
wasn t too bent upon pleasing myself Else why did I seek
’
.
out so much for a pretty child and a child quite to my ,
liking ? Wanting to do good why not do it for its own ,
sake and put my taste and likings by

,
“
Perhaps said Bella and perhaps she said it with some
,
SL O PP Y B E F O RE THE C O UN C IL 3 95
little sensitiveness arising out of those old curious relations of
“
hers towards the mu rdered man perhaps in reviving the ,
n ame you would not have liked to give it to a less interest

,
ing child than the original He interested you very mu ch . .
Well my dear returned Mrs Bo ffin giving her a

, ,
”
.
,
“
squ eeze it s kind of you to find that reason out and I hope
,
’
it may have been SO and indeed to a certain extent I believe ,
it was so but I am afraid not to the whole extent ; However

, ,
that don t come in question now because we have done with

’
,
the name .
”
Laid it up as a remembrance suggested B ella musingly , ,

.
Much better said my dear laid it up as a remembrance ,

.
Well then ; I have b een thinking if I take any orphan t o

provide for let it not be a pet and a play thing for me but
, ,
a crea ture to be helped for its own sake .

”
“
Not pretty then said Bella . .
No returned Mrs Boffin stoutly

,
”
.
,
.
Nor prepossessing then said Bella .
“
No returned Mrs Boffin
,
”
Not necessarily SO That s . . .
’
as it may happe n A well disposed boy co mes i n m y wa y

.
-
wh o may be even a little wanting i n such advantages for -
getting on in life but is honest and industrious and requires

, ,
a helping hand and deserves it If I am very mu ch in

,
.
earnest and quite determined to be u nselfish let me take ,
care of h i m .
”
Here the footman whose feelings had been hurt on the

former occasion appeared and crossing to Rok e s m i th
apologetically a n
, ,
n ou nced the obj ectionable Sloppy .
The four members of Council looked at one another ,

“ ”
and paused Shall he be brought here ma am ? asked
.
,
’
Ro k e s m i th .
“
Yes said Mrs Bofli n Whereupon the foot man dis
,
”
.
.
.
-
appeared reappeared presenting Sloppy an d retired much

, ,
M
disgusted .
The consideration of Mrs Boffin had clothed r Sloppy . .
in a suit of black on which the tailor had receiv ed personal

,
directions from Ro k e s m i th to expend the utmost cunning of

his art with a view to the concealment of the cohering and
,
sustaining buttons But so much more powerful were the .
frailties of Sl oppy s form than the strongest resources of

’
tailoring science that he now stood before the Cou ncil a

, ,
perfect Argus in the way of buttons : shining and winking

and gleaming and twinkling out of a hundred of those eyes
of bright metal at the dazzled sp e ctators The artistic taste
, .
of some unknown hatter had furnished him with a hatband of

wholesale capacity which was flute d behind from the crown of ,
his hat to the brim and terminated in a black bunch from , ,
which the imagi nation s hrunk d i s c o m fite d and the reason

revolted Some special powers with which his legs were
.
endowed had already hitched u p his glossy trousers at the -
ankles and bagged them at the knees : whil e si m ilar gifts in

,
his arms had raised his coat sleeves from his wrists and -
accumul ated them at his elbows Thus set forth with the .
,
additional embelli shments of a very little tail to his coat and ,
a yawning gulf at h i s waistband Sloppy stood confessed , .
And how is Betty my good fellow ? Mrs Bo fli n asked ,

.
Thankee mum, said Sloppy she do pretty nicely and

, , ,
sending her d o oty and many thank s for the tea and all
’ ”
favours and wishing to know the fam ily s healths .
“
Have you j ust come Sloppy ,
Yes mum , .
”
Then you have not had your dinner yet ?

NO mum But I mean to it F or I ain t forgotten your
,
. .
’
handsome orders that I was never to go away without having

had a goo d u m O ff of meat and beer and pudding —no : there
’
was four o f em for I reckoned em up when I had e m ;

’
,
’ ’
meat one beer two vegetables three an d whi c h was fou r

, , ,
Why pudding h e was four !

, Here Sloppy threw his hea d
,
”
back opened h is mouth wide and laughed rapturously

asked Mr s
.
, ,
How are the two poor little Minders .
B offi n .
“
Striki ng right out mum and comi ng round beautiful , ,
.
Mrs Boffin looked on the other three members of Council

.
and then said beckoning with her finger ,
Sloppy .
”
Yes mum , .
Come forward Sloppy Should you like to d i ne here ,

.
every day
“
Off of all fou r on em mum ? Oh mum ! Sloppy ”
’ ’
, ,
feelings obliged him to squeeze his hat and contract one leg ,
at the knee .
“
Yes An d should you like to be always taken care of
.
here if you were industrious and deserving

,
Oh mum — But there s Mrs Higde n

,
said Sloppy ’
.
, ,
checki n g himself i n his raptures drawing back and Shaki ng , ,

C HAP T ER XI
M E AF FAI RS
SO OF THE H E ART
L I TT LE Miss P e e c h e r from her little o fficial dwelling house

,
-
,
with its little windows like the eyes in needles and its little ,
doors l i ke the covers of school books was ve r y observant

-
,
indeed of the obj ect of her quiet affections Love though .

,
said to be a fflicted with blindness is a v i gi l a n t watchman

, ,
and Miss Beecher kept him on double duty over Mr Bradley .
Headstone . It was not that Sh e was naturally given to

playi ng the spy — i t was not that she was at all secret plot
ting or mean —i t was simply that she loved the unresponsive
,
Bradley with all the primitive and homely stock of love that
had never been examin e d or cert i ficate d ou t of her If her .
faithful slate had had the latent qualities of sympathetic

paper and its pencil those of invisible ink many a little
, ,
treatise calculated to astonish the pupils would have come

bursting through the dry sums in school time u nder the -
warming influence of Miss P e e c h e r s bosom F or oftent i mes

’
.
when school was not and her calm leisure and calm little
,
house were her own Miss P e e c h e r would commit to the

,
confidential slate an imaginary description of how upon a ,
balmy evening at dusk two figures might have been observed

,
in the market garden ground rou nd the corner of whom one

-
, ,
being a manly form bent over the other being a womanly

, ,
form of Short stature and some compactness and breathed ,

“
in a low voice the words Emma P e e c h e r wilt thou be my
, ,
”
own ? after which the womanly form s head reposed upon ’
the ma nl y form s shoulder and the nightingales tuned up

’
, .
Though all unseen and unsuspecte d by the pupils Bradley

, ,
Headstone even pervaded the school exercises Was Geography .
in question ? He would come triumphantly flyi ng out of

Vesu vius an d JEtn a ahead O f the lava and would boil u n ,
harmed i n the hot Springs of Iceland and would float ,
majestically down the Ganges and the Nile Did History .

P U P IL UND E R E X AMINATI O N 3 99
chr onicle a king of men ? B ehold him in pepper and salt - -
pantaloons with his watch guard round his neck Were

,
-
.
copies to be writte n ? In capital B s and H s most of the ’ ’
’
girls u nder Miss P e e c h e r s tuition were half a year ahead of
every other letter in the alphabet And Mental Arithmetic .
,
ad m in istered by Miss P e e c h e r o ften devoted itself t o ,
providing Bradley Headstone with a wardrobe of fabulou s

extent ; fourscore and four neckties at two and ninepence
halfpenny two gross of silver watches at fou r pounds fifteen
,
and sixpence seventy four black hats at eighteen shil l ings ;

,
-
an d many similar s u pe r flu i ti e s .
The vi gilant watchman u sing his daily opportunities of ,

’
turnin g his eyes in Bradley s direction soon apprised Miss ,
Beecher that Bradley was more preoccupied than had been

his wont and more given to stro l li ng about with a downcast
,
and reserved face turning somethin g di fficult in his mind

,
that was not i n the scholastic syl labus P utting this and
—
.
“ ”
that t ogether combining u nder the head this present ,
appearances and the intimacy with Charley He x a m and ,

“
ranging under the head that th e visit to his sister the ,
watchman reported to Miss P ee c h e r his stro n g suspicion s

that the siste r was at the bottom of it .
”
I wonder said Miss P e e c h e r as she sat m aking up her
, ,
weekly report on a half h oliday afternoon what they call

-
He x a m s sister
,
’
Mary Anne at her nee dlework attendant and attentive

, , ,
held her arm up .
“
Well Mary An ne
,
’
She is named Liz zie ma am ,
.
She can hardly be named Lizzie I think Mary Anne , , ,
returned Miss Bee cher in a tunefully instructive voice

,
Is .
Lizzie a Christian name Mary Anne ,
Mary Anne laid down her work rose hooked herself behind , ,
as being under catech ization an d replied No it is a cor , ,
ruption Miss P e e c h e r
, .
”
“
Who gave her that name Miss Beecher was going on ,
from the mere force of habit when she checked herself on , ,

’
Mary Anne s evincing theological impatience t o strike in with
“
her godfathers and her godmothers and said : I mean of ,
what name is it a corruption

“
Eli zabeth or Eliza Mis s Pe c cher ,
.
Right Mary Anne Whether there were any Lizzies in

,
.
the early Christian Church must be considered very doubtful ,

4o o O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
very doubtful Miss P e e c h e r was exceedingly sage here
. .
Speaking correctly we say then , that He xa m s sister is , ,

’
called Lizzie : n ot that she is named so DO we not Mary .

,
Anne
“
We do Miss Beecher , .
And where pursued Miss P ee c h e r complacent in her

,
”
little transparent fiction of con ducting the examination in a

semi offi cial manner for Mar y Anne s benefit not her own
-
’
, ,
where does this you ng woman who is called but n ot named ,
Lizzie live ? Think now before answering

, , , .
“
In Church Street Smith Square by Mill Bank ma am , , ,
’
.
In Chu rch Street Smith Square by Mill Bank repeated , , ,

”
Miss Beecher as if possessed beforehand of the book in which

,
it was written Exactly SO And what occupation does

. .
this young woman pursue Mary Anne Take time , .

”
“ ’
She has a p lace of trust at a n o u tfitte r s in the City ,
”
ma am’
.
Oh said Miss P ee c h e r pondering on it : but smoothly ,

“
added in a co nfirmatory tone
,
At an o u tfitte r s in the City ,
’
.
Ye -
es ?
“
And Charley Mary Anne was proce eding when ,
Miss Pe c cher stared .
I mean He xa m Miss P e e c h e r ,
.
I should think you did Mary Anne I am glad to hear ,

.
you do And He x a m
.
“ “
Says Mary Anne went on ,
”
that h e is not pleased with ,
his sister and that his sister won t be guided by his advice
,
’
and persists in being guided by somebody else s ; and ’
that
“ ”
Mr Headstone coming across the garden ! exclaimed
.
Miss P e e c h e r with a flushed glance at the looki ng glass

,
-
.
You have answered very well Mary Anne You are ,

.
forming an excellent habit of arranging your thoughts clearly

“
”
That will do .
The discreet Mary Anne resumed her seat and her silence ,
and stitched and stitched and was stitching when the school
, ,
master s shado w came in before him announcing that he

’
might be instantly expected .
“
Good evening Miss P e e c h e r he said pursuing the , , ,
shadow and taking its place

,
.
“
Good evening Mr Headstone Mary Anne a chair ,
. .
,
.
Thank you said Bradley seating himself in his con ,

”
,
strained manner This is but a flying visit I have. .

are always lyin g by ready to go mad upon the next wrong ,
idea that may be broached — i n these times generally some ,
form of tribute to Somebody for something that never was

done or if ever done that was done by Somebody Else — s o
, , ,
these less ordinary n atu res may lie by for years ready on ,
the tou ch of an instant to burst into flame .
The schoolmaste r went his way brooding and brooding , ,
and a sense of being vanquished in a struggle might have

been pieced out of his worried face Truly in his breast .
,
there lingered a resentfu l shame to find himself defeated by

this passion for Charley He xa m s sister though in the very ’
self same moments he was concentratin g himself upon the

’
object of bringing the passion to a successful issue .
He appeared before the dolls dressmaker sitting alone at ’
,
“
her work Oho ! thought that sharp young personage
.
”
,
’
it s you is it ? I know you r tricks and your manners my
, ,
friend
He xa m s sister said Bradley Headstone is not come
’
, ,
home yet
You are quite a conj urer returned Miss Wren ,
.
I will wait if you please for I want t o Speak to her

, ,
.
DO you returned Miss Wren Sit down I hope it s . .

’
mutual .
Bradley glanced distrustfu lly at the shrewd face a gain

bending over the work and said trying to conqu er doubt , ,
and hesitation
I hope you don t imply that my visit wi ll be unacceptable’
to He x a m s Sister ’
“ ’
There Don t call her that I can t bear you to call
.
’
.
her that returned Miss Wren snapping her fingers in a

,
”
,
volley of impatient snaps for I don t lik e He x a m

“
,
’
.
”
Indeed
NO Miss Wren wrinkled her nose to express dislike
.
”
,
.
”
Selfish Thinks onl y of himself The way with all of you
. . .
The way with all of u s Then you don t like m e ’
So SO replied Miss Wren with a shrug an d a laugh

-
,
”
.
Don t k now much about you

’
.
But I was not aware it was the way with all of u s said ,
“ ’
Bradley returning to the accusation a little inj ured Won t
, ,
.
you say some of u s ,
Meaning returned the l ittle creature every one of you

,
”
, ,
but you Hah ! Now look this lady in the face This is
. .
Mrs Truth The Honourable F ull d resse d

. . .
-
.
THE H O NO URAB L E MRS . T . 0
4 3
B radley glanced at the doll she held up for his observatio n
—which had been lying on its face on her bench while with
,
a needle and thread Sh e fastened the d ress on at th e back

and looked from it to her .
I stand the Honourable Mrs T on my bench in this . .
corner against the wall where her blue eye s can Shine upon ,
you , pursued Miss Wren doing so an d making two little

”
, ,
d abs at him in the air with her needle as if she pricked h i m ,
with it in his own eyes and I defy you to tell me with ,
Mrs T for a witness what you have come here for

. .
,
.
”
To see He xa m s sister ’
.
”
You don t say so ! re torted Miss Wren hitching h e r

’ ”
,
“
chi n . But on whose accou nt
Her own .
”
Oh Mrs T , e xclaimed .Miss Wren Y ou h ear

. .
”
him ?
To reason with h e r pu rsued Bradley half humouring , ,
what was present and h alf angr y with what was not present ,
“
fo r her own sake .
”
Oh Mrs T ,
exclaimed the dressmaker
. . .
F or her own sake repeated Bradley warmi n g and for ,

”
, ,
’ ”
her brother s and as a perfectly disinterested person
, .
“ “
Really Mrs ,
remarked the dressmaker . since it ,
comes to this we mu st positively turn you with y our face

She had hardly done SO when Lizzie He x a m
,
to the wall .
”
arrived and Showed some surprise on seeing Brad ley Head

,
stone there and Jenny shaking her little fist at him close
,
before her eyes an d the Honourable Mrs T with her face

,
. .
to the wal l .
Here s a perfectly disinterested person Lizzie d ear said

’
, ,
“
the knowing Miss Wren come to talk with y ou for you r , ,
own sake and your brother s Thi n k of that I am su re ’

. .
there ought to be n o third party pre s ent at any thing so very

ki nd and so very serious and so if you ll remove the third ,
’
party u p stairs my dear th e third party will retire

-
, ,
.
Lizzie took the hand which the dolls dressmaker held out ’
to her for the purpose of being supported away but only ,
looked at her with an in quiring smile and made n o oth er ,
movement .
“ ’
The third party hobbles awfully you know when she s , ,
“ ”
left to herself said Miss Wren her back being so bad
, , ,
and her legs so queer ; so she can t retire gracefully u nless ’
you help her Lizzie , .

”
She can do no better than stay where she is returned ,
Lizzie releasing the hand and layi ng her own lightly on

, ,
“
Miss Jenny s curls And then to Bradley : F rom Charley
’
.
,
sir
In an irresolute way and stealing a clumsy look at her , ,
Bradley rose to place a chair for her and then returned to ,
his own .
“ “
Strictly speaking said he I come from Charley
, , ,
because I left him only a little while ago ; but I am not

commissioned by Charley I come of my own spontaneous .
”
act .
With her elbows on her b ench and her ch in upon her ,
hands Miss Jenny Wren sat looki ng at him with a watchful

,
sidelong look Lizzie in her different way sat looking at

.
, ,
him too .
“
The fact is began Bradley with a mouth so dry that
, ,
he had so me d i fli c u l ty in articulating his words : the co n

s c i o u s n e s s of which rendered his manner still more ungainly ,
“
and undecided the truth is that Charley having no secrets , ,
from me (to the best of my belief) has confided the whole of ,
this matter to me .
”
“
He came to a stop and Lizzie asked : What matter , ,
s ir ?
“
I thought returned the schoolmaster ste aling another
, ,
look at her and seeming to try i n vain to sustain it ; fo r

,
“
the lo ok dropped as it lighted on her eyes that it might .
be so superfluous as to be almost impe rtinent to enter upon

a definition of it My allusion was to this m atter of your
.
having put aside your brother s plans fo r you and given the ’
preference to those of Mr — I believ e the name is Mr Eugene . .
W rayb u rn .
”
He made this point of not being certain of the name with ,
another uneasy look at her which dropped l i ke the last , .
Nothing being said on the other side he had to begin ,
again and began with new embarrassment

, .
’
Your brot h er s plans were communicated to me when he
first had them in his thoughts In point of fact he spoke to .
me about them when I was last here — when we were walking

,
back together and when I — when the impression was fresh

,
upon me of havi n g seen his Sister .

”
There might have been no meani ng in it but the little ,
dressmaker h ere removed one of her supporting hands from

her chin a n d musingly turned the Honourable Mrs T with
, . .
have no right to doubt it I have n oth i ng to tell Charley.
,
but that I accepted the help to which he so much objects

before he made any plans for me ; o r certai nl y before I knew
of any It was con sid erate ly and delicately o ffered and
.
,
there were reasons that had weight with me which should

be as dear to Charley as to me I have no more to say to .
”
Charley on this subj ect
His lips trembl ed an d stood apar t as he follo wed th i s
.
repu diation of himself and l imitation of her words to her

,
brother .
“
I should have told Charley if he had come to me she , ,
“
resumed as though it were an after thought
,
that Je n ny -
,
and I find our teacher very able and very patient and that ,
she takes great pains with us So much so that we have .

,
.
said to her we hope in a very li ttle while to be able to

go on by o urselves Charley k nows about teachers and I
.
,
should also have told hi m for his satisfaction that ours , ,
comes from an institution where teachers are regularly

brought up .
“
I should lik e to ask you sa id B radley Headston e , ,
grinding his words slowly out as though t h ey cam e from ,
a rusty mill ; I should like to ask you if I may without

“
,
O ffence
,
whether you would have obj ected n o ; rather ,
I should li ke to say if I may without O ffence that I wish

, ,
I had had the O pportun i ty of coming here wi th your brother

and devoti ng my poor abili ties and experience to you r
service.
”
“
Tha n k you Mr Headstone
, . .
”
But I fe a r he pursued after a pause furtively wrench
, , ,
ing at the seat of his chair with one hand as if h e wo ul d ,
have wrenched the chai r to pieces and gloomi ly observ i ng ,

“
her eyes were cast down that my humble services would
,
not have found much favour with you

She made no reply and the poor stricken wretch sat con
,
tending with himself i n a heat of passion and torment .
After a whil e he took out his handkerchief and wiped his

forehead and hands .
“
There is only one thing more I had to say but it is the ,
most important There i s a reason against this matter there

. ,
is a perso n al relation concerned in this matter not yet ex

—
,
.
—
plained to you It might I don t say it would i t might ’
induce you to think differently To proceed under the pre .
sent circumstances i s out of th e question Will you pleas e .

’
B R AD L E Y H EAD ST O N E S FAILUR E 40 7
come to the understanding that there shall be another inter
vie w on the subj ect ?
“
With Charley Mr Headstone ,
.
With — well he answered breaking off ,

”
yes ! Say , ,
with hi m too Will you please come to the understanding

.
that there must be another i nterview u nder more favourable

c i rcumstan ces before the whole case can be submitted
,
“ ” “
I don t said Lizzie shakin g her h ead
’
,
understand , ,
”
your mean i ng Mr Headstone , . .
“ “
Limit my mean i ng for the present he i nterrupted to , ,
the whole ca se being submitted to you in another interview .

”
“
What case Mr Headstone What is wanting to it ?
You —you shall be informed in the other interview
, .
“
Then he said as if in a burst of irrepressible despair
,
I ,
— I leave it all incomplete ! There is a spell upon me I ,
thin k ! ”
And then added almost as if he asked for pity , ,
“
Good night
He held out his hand As she with man ifest hesitation .
, ,
not to say reluctance touched it a strange tremble passed , ,
over him and his face so deadly white was moved as by a

, , ,
stroke of pain Then he was gone . .
’
The doll s dressmaker sat with her attitude unchanged ,
eyeing the door by whi ch he ha d departed until Lizzie ,
pushed her bench aside and sat down near her Then .
,
eyeing L izzi e as she had previously eyed Bradley and the

door Miss Wren chopped that very sudden and keen chop
,
in which her j aws sometimes indulged lean ed back in her ,
chair with folded arms and thus expressed herself ,
Humph If h e — I mean of course my dear the party , , ,
who is coming to court me when the time comes — shoul d be

th a t sort of man he may spare him self the trouble, He .
wouldn t do to be trotted about and made useful

’
He d .
’
take fire and blow up while he was about it .

”
”
And so you woul d be rid of him said Lizzie humour , ,
ing her .
Not so easil y returned Miss Wren He wouldn t

,
.
’
blow up alone He d carry me up with him I know his

.
’
.
t ricks and his manners .

”
“
Would he want to hurt you do you mean ? asked ,
”
Lizzie .
“ ’
Mightn t exactly want to do it my dear returned Miss , ,
“
Wren ; but a lot of gunpowder among lighted lucifer
matches in the next room might almost as well be here .
”
He is a very strange man said Lizzie thoughtfully , , .
I wish he was so very strange a man as to be a total

stranger answered the sharp little thing
,
”
.
It being Lizzie s regular occupation when they were alone

’
of an evening to brush out and smooth the long fair hair of

the dolls dressmaker she unfastened a ribbon that kept it
’
back while the little creature was at her work an d it fell in ,
a beautifu l shower over the poor shoulders that we re much

in need of such adorni ng rain “Not now Lizzie dear .
, , ,
“
said Jenny ; let us have a talk by the fire With those .
’
words she in her turn loosened her friend s dark hair and
, ,
it dropped of its own weight over her bosom in two rich

masses Prete nding to compare the colou rs and admire the
.
contrast Jenny so managed a mere touch or two of her

,
nimble hands as that she hersel f layin g a cheek on one of

,
the dark folds seemed blinded b y her own clustering cu rls

,
to all but the fire while the fine handsome face and brow ,
of Lizzie were revealed without obstru ction in the sober

light .
Let u s have a talk said Jenny, about Mr Eugene

“
,
.
W r a yb u r n .
Someth i ng sparkled down among the fair hair resting on

the dark hair ; and if it were not a star—which it couldn t
‘
’
b e —i t was an eye ; and if it were an eye it was Jenny ,

’
Wren s eye bright and watchful as the bird s whose name
’
she had taken .
“
Why about Mr W r a y b u r n Lizzie asked . .
F or no better reason than because I m in the h u mour ’

.
’
I wonder whether he s rich
”
No not rich ,
.
Poor ?
I think so for a gentleman , .
’
Ah ! To be sure ! Yes he s a gentleman Not of our ,
.
sort is he
,
A shake of the head a thoughtful shake of the head an d , ,

”
the answer softly spoken Oh no oh no !
, , ,
’
The dolls dressmaker had an arm round her fri end s
’
waist Adj usting the arm she slyly took the opportunity of
.
,
blowing at her own hair where it fell over her face then the
e y e down there under lighter shadows sparkled more brightly
and appeared more watchful .
’
’
When He turns up he shan t be a gentleman I ll very ,
’
soon send him packing if he is However he s not Mr ,
.
,
.
Even you can be th at Lizzie so she ough t to be , , .
She i s very handsome .
What does she say about him ? asked Miss Jenny in a ,
low voice watchful through an intervening silence of the

.
, ,
face looking down at the fire .
She i s glad glad to be rich that he may have the money

, , .
She is glad glad to be beautiful that he may be proud of

, ,
her Her poor heart

.
Eh Her poor heart said Miss W ren

Her heart —is given him with all its love and tr uth
.
, .
She would j oyfully die with him or better than that die , , ,
for him She knows he has fail ings but s he thinks the y
.
,
have grown up through his being like one cast away for ,
the want of s omething to t rust in and care for and think , ,
well of And she says that lady rich and beautifu l that
.
,
‘
I can never come near Only put me in that empty place , ,
only try how little I mind myself only prove what a world ,
of things I will do and bear for you and I hope that you ,
might even come to be much better than you are through ,
me who am so much worse and hardly worth the thinking ,
of beside you .
’
As the face looking at the fire had become exalt e d and

'
forgetful i n the rapture of these words the l ittl e creature , ,
openly clearin g away her fair hair with h e r disengaged

hand had gaze d a t it with earnest attention and some '
thing lik e alarm No w that the speak er ceased the little

.
.
,
creature laid down her head again and moaned 0 me , , ,
0 me 0 me ,
In pain dear Jenny asked Lizzie as if awakened

, ,
.
Yes but not the O l d pain Lay me down lay me down

,
.
,
.
Don t go out of my sight to night Lock the door and keep

’
-
.
close to me Then turning away her face she said in a

.
,
“
whisper to herself My Lizzie my poor Lizzie ! O my , ,
blessed children come back i n the long bright slanting rows

, ,
and come for her not me She wants help more than I my ,
.
,
blessed children ! ”
She had stretched her h a n d s u p with that higher and

better look and now she turned again and folded them
, ,
’ ’
round Lizz ie s neck, and rocked herself on Lizz ie s breast .
C HAP T ER XI I
M ORE BI RD S OF PREY
R O GU E RI D E RHOO D dwelt deep and dark in L imehou se Hole ,
among the riggers a n d the mast oar and block makers an d

, , , ,
the boat bu ilders and the sail lofts as in a k i nd of ship s

-
,
-
,
’
hold stored fu ll of waterside characters some no bette r than ,
himself some v ery mu ch bette r and none much worse Th e

, , .
Hole albeit i n a general way not over nice in its choice of

,
company was rather shy in reference to th e honou r of culti

,
’
v a ti n
g the Rogue s acquaintance ; more frequently giving
him the cold shoulder than the warm h and and seldom or ,
never drinking with him unless at his own expense A part .
of the Hole indeed contained so much public spirit a n d

, ,
private virtue that not even this strong leverage could move
it to good fellowship with a tainted accuser But there m a y .
have been the drawback on this m agnanimous morality that ,
its expon ents held a true witness before Ju stice to be the

next unneighbourly and accursed character to a false one .
Had i t not been for the daughter whom he often mentioned ,
Mr Riderhood might h ave found the Hole a m ere grave as

.
to any means it would yield him of getting a living Bu t .
Miss Pleasant Riderhood had s o nre little position an d c on

n e x i o n in Lim ehouse Hole Upon the smallest of small
.
scales she was an u nlicen sed pawnbroker keeping what was ,
popularly called a Leavi ng Shop by len din g insignifica nt , '
sums on insignificant articles of property deposited with

he r as security In h e r four and twentieth year Of life
.
- -
,
Pleasant was already in her fifth year of this way of trade .
Her deceased mother had established the business and on ,
that parent s demise she had a ppropriate d a secret capit a l of

’
fi fteen shillings to establishing herself in it ; th e existence

of such capital in a pillow being the last intelligible con
fid e n ti a l communication made to her by the departed before ,
succumbing to dropsical conditions of snu ff and gin i n c om ,
patible equally with coherence and existen ce .
Why christened Pleasant the late Mrs Riderhood migh t

,
.
4 I 2 O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
possibly ha v e be e n able at some time to explai n and possibly ,
not Her daughter had no i nformation on that point

. .
Pleasant she found herself and she couldn t help it She ,

’
.
had not been cons u lted on the qu estion any more than on ,
the question of her coming into these terrestrial parts to

want a name Similarly she found herself possessed of
.
,
what is colloquially termed a swivel eye (derived from her

father) which she might perhaps have declined if her senti
,
ments on the subj ect had been taken She was not other .
wise positively ill loo king th ough anxiou s meagre of a mu ddy

-
, , ,
complexion and looking as O ld agai n as she real ly was

, .
As some dogs have it in the blood or are trained to , ,
worry certain creatures to a certain point s o — not to make ,
the comparison d i s r e s p e c tful ly Pleasant Riderhood had it fl -
in the blood or had been trained to regard seamen within

, , ,
certain limits as her prey Show her a man in a blu e

, .
j acket and figuratively Speaking she pinned h i m instantly

, , , .
Yet all things considered she was not of an evil mind or a n

, ,
unkindly disposition F or ob s erve how many things were .
to be considered according to her own unfortunate experience .
Sho w Pleasant Riderhood a Wedding in the street an d she ,
only saw two people taking out a regular license to quarrel

and fight Show her a Christening and she saw a little
.
,
heathen personage having a q u i te superfluous nam e bestowed

upon it inas much as it would be commonly addressed by
,
some abusive epithet ; which little personage was not in the

least wanted by anybody and woul d be shoved and banged ,
.
o u t o f everybody s way until it should gro w big enou gh to

'
’
shove and bang Show her a F u ne ral and she saw an .

,
unremunerative ceremony in the nature of a black masque

rade conferring a temporary gentility on the performers
, ,
at an im m ense expense, and representing the o nl y formal

party ever given by the deceased Show her a live father .
,
a n d she saw but a duplicate of her own fat h er who from her
-
infancy had been taken with fits and starts of discharging

his duty to her which duty was always incorporated in the
,
form of a fist o r a leathern strap and bein g discharged hurt ,
her All things considered therefore Pleasant Riderhood

.
, ,
was not so very very bad There wa s even a touch of ,

.
romance in her— o f such romance as could creep i n tO Li m e '
house Hole — and maybe sometimes of a summer evening ,
when she stood with folded arms at her Shop door looking -
,
fro m the reeking street to the sky where the sun was setting ,
I
4 4 0 UR MUTUAL F RI E ND
Thankee said the man , .
Hi s manner was the man ner of a sailor and his hands were ,
the hands of a sailor except that they were smooth Pleasant , .
had an eye for sailors and Sh e noticed the unused colour and ,
texture o f the hands sunburnt though they were as sharply , ,
as she noticed their unmistakable looseness and suppleness ,
as he sat himself down with his left arm carelessly thrown

across his left leg a little above the knee and the right arm ,
as carelessly thrown over the elbo w of the wooden chair ,
with the hand curved half open and half shut as if it had , ,
j ust let go a rope .
“
Might you be looking for a Boarding House Pleasant -
inquired taking her observant stand on one side of the fire

,
.
I don t rightly kno w my plans yet returned the man

’
,
”
.
’
You ai n t looking for a Leaving Shop
”
No said the man
,
.
No assented Pl easant you ve got too much of an out

, ,
’
fit on yo u for that B ut if you should want either thi s is .

,
”
both .
“
Aye aye said the man glancing round the place
, ,
.
know I ve been here before

.
’
.
Did you Leave anything when you were here before

asked Pleasant with a V iew to principal and interest , .
No The man shook his head

.
”
.
I am pretty sure you never boarded here

NO The man again shook his head
.
”
.
What d i d you do here when you were her e before ?

“
asked Pleasant F or I don t remember you .
’
.
“
It s not at all likely you should I only stood at the
’
.
door one night — o u the lower step there — while a shipmate

,
of mi n e looked in to speak to your father I remember the .
place well Looking very curiously round it

.
”
.
Might that have been long ago

Ay e a goodish bi t ago When I came off my last
, .
voyage .
”
“
Then you have not been to sea lately
NO Been in the sick bay since then and been em
.
,
”
ployed asho re .
Then to be sure that accounts for your hands

, ,
.
The man wit h a keen look a quick smile and a change of , ,

“
manner caught her up ,
You re a good observer Yes .
’
. .
That accounts for my hands .
Pleasant was somewhat disquieted by his look and r e ,

’
P L EASANT S MYST E RI O US V I SITO R 41 5
turned it suspiciously N o t only wa s his change of manner .
,
though very s u dden quite collected but his former manner , , ,
which he resumed had a certain suppressed confidence and ,
sense of power in it that were half threatening .
Will you r fa ther be long he inquired .
’
I don t know I can t say
’
. .
As y o u supposed he was at home it wo u l d s e e m that he ,

’
has j ust gone out ? How s that ?
I supposed he had come home Pleasant explained ,
.
Oh ! You supposed he had come home Then he has

’
been some time ou t How s that
“
I don t want to deceive you F ather s on the river in
’
.
’
his boat .
”
“
At the old work asked the man .
I don t know what you mean said Pleasant shrinking

’
,
”
,
“
a step back What on earth d ye want
.
’
“ ’
I don t want to hurt your father I don t want to say .
’
I might if I chose I want to Speak to him Not much in

, . .
that is there ? There shall be no secrets from you ; you

,
shall be by An d plainly Miss Riderhood there s nothing

.
, ,
’
~
to be got out of me or m ade of me I am not goo d for .
,
the Leaving Shop I am not good fo r the Boarding House ,

-
,
I am not good for anything in your way to the extent of six

’
penn or th of halfpence Put the idea aside and we shall get .
,
on together .
”
But you re a seafaring man ? argued Pleasant as if
’
that were a su fficient reason for his being good for some
thing i n her way .
“
Yes and no I have been and I may be again But.
, .
I am not for you Won t you take my word for it .

’
The conversation had arrived at a crisis to j u stify Miss

Pleasant s hair in tumbling down It tumbled down acco r d
’
.
i n gl y and she twisted it up looking from u nder her bent

, ,
forehead at the man In taking stock of his familiarly .
wor n rough weather nautical clothes piece by piece she took

-
, ,
stock of a formidable knife in a sheath at h is waist ready to

his hand and of a whistle hanging round his neck and
, ,
of a short ragged knotted club with a l oaded head that

peeped out of a pocket of his loose outer j acket or frock .
He sat quietly looking at her ; but with these appendages ,

.
partially revea ling themselves and with a quantity of bristling ,
oakum coloured head and whisker he had a formidable

-
appearance .
’
Won t you take my word for it he a ske d agai n .
Pleasant answered with a short d u m b n o d He rej oin ed '

.
with another short dumb nod Then he got up and stoo d .
with his arms folded in front of the fir e looking down into ,
it occasionally as she stood with her arms folded lean i ng

, ,
against the side of the chimney piece -

.
To while away the time till your father comes he said , ,
pray is there much robbing and murderin g of seamen about

the water side now -
No said Pleasant
,
”
.
Any
Complaints of that sort are sometimes made about Rat ,
cliffe and Wappin g and up that way But who knows how
, .
many are true

‘
TO be sure And it don t seem necessary
.
’
’ ”
That s what I say observed Pleasant Where s the
, .
’
reason for it ? Bless the sailors it ain t as if they ever Could ,

’
keep what they have without it , .

”
“ ’
You re right Their money may be soon got out of
.
”
them without Vi olence said the man
, , .
Of course it may said Pleasant ; and then they ship

,
”
agai n and get more And the best t hi n g for em too to

, .
’
, ,
ship again as soon as ever they Ca n b e brought to it They re .

’
’
never so well off as when t hey re afloat .
”
I ll tell you why I ask p u rsued the visitor looking up

’
, ,
from the fire I was once beset that way m y s e lf a n d left

'
.
,
for dead .
NO said Pleasant Where did it happen .
It happened returned th e m a n with a ruminative air

,
” '
, ,
as he drew his right hand across hi s chin and dipped the ,
other in the pocket of his rough outer coat it hap pened

“
,
somewhere about here as I reckon I don t think it can .

’
have been a mile from here .
“
Were you drunk asked Pleasant .
I was muddled but not with fair drink i ng I had not

,
.
been drink ing you understand A mouthful did it

,
. .
Pleasant with a grave look shook her hea d ; importin g

that she understood the process but decidedly disapproved ,
.
“
F air trade is one thin g said she but that s an other ,
”
,
’
.
”
No one has a right to carry on with Jack in tha t way .
The sentiment does you credit returned the man with , ,

“
a grim smile ; and added in a mutter the more so as I , , ,
believe it s not your father s —Yes I had a bad t i me of it

’ ’
.
, ,
P O LL PARR O TING 4 9 1
that time I lost everything and had a sharp Struggle for

.
,
my l ife weak as I was

,
.
Did you get the parties punished asked P leasant .
”
A tremendous punishment followed said the man more , ,
“ ”
seriously but it was not of my bringing about .
Of whose then asked Pleasant ,

.
The man pointed upward with his forefinger and slowly , ,
recovering that h and settled his chin in it again as he looked

,
at the fire B ringing her inherited eye to bear upon him

.
Pleasant Riderhood felt more and more unco mfortable his

,
manner was so mysterious So stern so self possessed , ,

-
.
“ ”
Anyways said the damsel I am glad punishment
, ,
followed and I say so F air trade with seafaring men gets

, .
a bad name through deeds of violence I am as much against .

.
deeds of violence being do n e to seafaring men as sea faring ,
men can be themselves I am of the same O pinion as my .
mother was when she was living F air trade my mother

,
.
,
”
u sed to say, but no robbery and n o blows In the way of
trade Miss Pleasant would have taken —and indeed did take
.
when she could — as much as thirty shillin gs a week for b oard

that would be dear at five and likewise condu cted the Leav
.
,
ing business upon correspondingly e quitable principles ; yet

she had that tenderness of conscience and those feelings of
humanity that the moment her ideas of trade were over
,
’
stepped she became the seaman s champion even again st her
, ,
father whom Sh e seldom otherwise resiste d

, .
But she was here interrupted by her father s voice ex ’
”
claiming angrily Now Poll Parrot ! and by her father s, ,
’
hat being heavily flung from his hand and strikin g her face .
Accustomed to such occasional manifestations of his sense

of parental duty Pleasant merely wiped her face on her h air
,
(which of course had tumbled d own ) before she twisted it

up This was another common procedure on the part of
.
the ladies of the Hole when heated by verbal or fis ti c ,
altercation .
Blest if I believe such a Poll Parrot as you was ever

learned to speak ! growled Mr Riderhood stooping to pick .
,
up his hat and making a feint at her with his head and
,
right elbow for he took the delicate subject of robbing sea

men i n extraordinary dudgeon and was out of hu mour too ,
.
“
What are you Poll Parroting at now ? Ain t you got ’
nothing to do but fold your arms and stand a Poll Parroting

all night
Let her alone urged the man She was onl y speaking ,
.
to me .
”
“
Let her alone too retorted Mr Riderhood eyeing him .
,
all over Do you know she s my daughter

.
’
“
Yes .
‘ ’ ’
And don t you know that I won t have no Poll Parroting
on the part of my daughter ? NO nor yet that I won t take ,
’
no Poll Parro t ing from no man ? And who may y ou be ,
and what may y ou want ?

Ho w can I tell you until you are silent ? returned the
other fiercely .
“ ” “
Well said Mr Riderhood quailing a little
, I am .
, ,
willing to be silent for the purpose of hearing But don t .

’
Poll Parrot me .
”
“ ”
Are y o u thirsty you ? the man asked in the same , ,
fierce S hort way after returning his look , .
“ “’ ”
Why n a t r a ll y said Mr Riderh ood
, ain t I always ,
.
,
’
thirsty ? (Indignant at the absurdi ty of the questio n )

”
.
“
What will you drink demanded the man .
”
Sherry wine returned Mr Riderhood in the same sharp, .
,
“ ’ ”
tone if you re capable of it
, .
The man put his hand in h i s pocket took out half a ,
sovereign and begged the favou r of Miss Pleasant that she

,
”
would fetch a bottle With the cork undrawn he added .
,
emphatically loo k ing at her father , .
“
I ll take m y Al fr e d David muttered Mr Riderhood
’ ’
, .
,
“
slowly relaxing into a dark smile that you know a move
DO I know y ou ? Nn no I don t know you
.
,
’ ”
- -
, .
“ ’
The man replied No you don t know me And so , , .
they stood looking at one another surlily enough until ,
Pleasant came back .
“ ’
There s small glasses o n the shelf said Riderhood to his ,
“
daughter Give me the one without a foot I gets my
. .
’
living by the sweat of my brow and it s good enough fo r ,
me.
”
This had a modest self denying appearance ; but it -
soon turned out that as by reason of the impossibility of ,
standing the glass upright while there was anything in it ,
it required to be emptied as soon as filled Mr Riderhoo d , .
managed to drink in the proportion of three to one .
With his F ortunatus s goblet ready in his h an d Mr ’

,
.
Riderhood sat down on one side of the table before the fire ,
a n d the strange man on the other : Pleasant occupying a
stool between the latter and the fireside The background .

,
4 2
Killed Who kil led h i m
Only answering with a shr ug the man filled the footless ,
glass an d Riderhood emptied it looking amazedly from his

,
daughter to his visitor .
You d on t mean to tell a honest man

’
he was r e c o m
m e n c i n g with his empty glass in his hand when his eye
, ,
became fascinated by the stranger s outer coat He leane d ’

.
across the table to see it nearer touched the sleeve turned , ,
the cu ff to look at the sleeve lining (the man in his perfect -

,
composure Offering not the least O bjection) an d exclaimed

, , ,
“
It s my belief as this here coat was George Ra d fo ot s too
’ ’
You are right He wore it the last time you ever saw
.
him and the last time you ever will see him— i n this world
,
.
”
“ ’
It s m y belief you mean to tell me to my face you k i lled
him exclaimed Riderhood but nevertheless allowing his , ,
glass to be filled again .
The man only answered with another shrug and showed ,
n o symptom of confusion .
“
Wish I may die if I know what to be up to with this
”
chap ! said Riderhood after s taring at him and tossing his
, ,
last glassful down his throat Let s know what to make of .

’
you . Say something plain .
“ ”
I will returned the other leaning forward across the
, ,
“
table and speaking in a low impressive voice
,
What a liar .
you are
The honest witness rose and made as though he would ,
fling his glass in the man s face The man not wincing and ’
.
,
merely shaking his forefinger half knowingly half menacingly , ,
the piece of honesty thought better of it and sat down again ,
putting the gl ass down too .
And when you went to that lawyer yonder in the

Temple with that invented Story said the stranger in an ,
”
,
“
exasperatingly comfortable sort of confidence you might ,
have had you r strong suspicions of a friend of your own you ,
know I think you had you know

.
,
.
“
Me my suspicions ? Of what friend
”
Tell me again whose knife was this ? demanded the
man .
It was possessed by and was the property o f—him as I

,
have ni ade mention on said Riderhood stupidly evading the

, ,
actual mention of the name .
“
Tell me again whose coat was this
That there article of clothing likeways belonged to and ,
’
OF G EO RGE RADFOOT S DI SAPP E AR ANC E 42 3
was wore b y— him as I have made mention on was again ,
the dull Old Bailey evasion .
“
I suspect that you gave him the credit of the deed and ,
of keeping cleverly out of the way But there was small .
cleverness in hi s keepi n g out of the way The cleverness .
would have been to have got back for one singl e instant to ,
the light of the sun .

”
Things is come to a pretty p a ss gr owled Mr Riderhood , .

,
“
rising to his feet goaded to stand at bay when b u ll y e r s as
, ,
is wearing dead men s clothes and b u ll ye r s as is armed with ’
dead men s k nives is to come into the hou ses of hon est live
’
men gettin g their livings by the sweats of their brows and

, ,
is to make these here sort of charges with no rhyme and n o “
reason nei ther the one nor yet the other ! Why should I
,
have had m y suspicions of him

“ “ ”
Because you knew h i m replied the man because you ,
had been one with him and knew hi s real character under a ,
fair outside because on the night which you had afterwards

reason to believe to be the very night of the murder he c a me ,
in here within an hou r of his having l eft his Ship in the

,
doc ks and asked you in what lodgings h e could find room

,
.
Was there no stranger with him

I ll take my world without end everlasting Alfred David
’
- -
“ ”
that Y O U warn t with h im answered Riderhood ’
You talk ,
.
big you do but thi ngs look pretty black against y ourself
, , ,
to my thinking You charge again me that George Ra d fo ot

.
’
got lost sight of and was no more thought of W hat s that

,
.
’
for a sailor ? Why there s fifty such out of Sight and out of ’
mind ten times as long as him—through entering in different

, ,
names r e shipping when the ou t a r d voyage is m ade and

,
-
’
what not — a turning up to light every day about here an d

-
,
no matter made of it Ask my daughter You could go . .

,
on Poll Parroting enough with h e r when I warn t come in ,

’
.
Poll Parrot a little with her on this pin t You and your "
.
suspicions of my suspicions of him ! What are my sus

p i c i o n s of you ? You tell me George Ra d fo o t got killed I .
ask you who done it and h o w you know it ? You carry his ,
knife and you wear his coat I ask you how you come by .
’
em Hand over that there bottle Here Mr Riderhood .
appeared to labour under a virtu ous delusion that it was his

“
own property And you he added tu rning to his
.
,
”
,
“
daughter as he filled the footless glass if it warn t wasti n g
, ,
’
good sherry wine on you I d chuck this at you for P 0 11 ,

’
Parroting with this man It s along of Poll Parroting that .
’
such like as him gets their su spicions whereas I gets min e by ,
a r gu e y m e n t and being n a t r a l l y a honest man and sweating

’
, ,
away at the brow as a honest man ought Here he filled .

”
the footless goblet again and stood chewi ng o n e half of its ,

-
contents and looking down into the other as he slowly rolle d

,
the w i ne about in the glass ; while Pleasant whose sym ,
pathetic hair had come down on h e r being apostrophised ,
r e arranged it much in the style of the tail of a horse when

-
,
proceed i ng to market to be sold .
Well ? Have you finished asked the strange

man .
N0 said Riderhood I ain t F ar from it Now then

,
“
,
’
. .
I want to know h ow George R e dfoot come by his death and ,
h o w you come by his kit ?

“ ’
If you ever do know y ou won t know now ,
.
And next I want to know proceede d Riderhood , ,

4
whether you mean to charge that wh at you may call i t - - - -
murder
Harmon murder father suggested Pleasant , ,
.
N0 Poll Parroting he voc i ferated in return Keep .
your mouth s h u t l — I want to know you sir whether you , ,
charge that there crime on George Ra d fo ot

“
If you ever do know you won t know now ,
’
.
Perhaps you done it yourself ? said Riderhood with a ,
threatening actio n .
“
I alone k n o w r e tu r n e d the man sternly shak ing his head
,
”
, ,
the mysteries of that crime I alone know that your .
trumped u p story cannot possibly be true I alone know that

-
.
it must be altogether false and that you must know it to be ,
altogether false I came here to night to tell you so much

.
-
of what I know and no more , .

’
Mr Riderhood with his crooke d eye upon his visitor

.
, ,
meditated for some moments and then refilled his glas s and , ,
tipped the contents down his throat in three tips .
Shut the shop door he then sai d to his daughter

-
,
putting the glass suddenly d o wn “

And tu rn the key and .
stand by it ! If you know all this you sir getting as he , ,

”
,
Spoke between the visitor and the door why han t you gone ’
, ,
to Lawyer Lightwood
“
That also is alone known to myself wa s the cool
, , ,
answer .
“
Don t you know that if you didn t do the deed what you
’
,
’
,
Pleasant looking to her father for permission to reply that
, ,
honest man exclaimed with great bitterness

“
Why the devil don t you answer the Captain You can ’
’
Poll Parrot enough when you ain t wanted to Poll Parrot ,
you p e r we r s e j ade
Thus encou raged Pleasant exclaimed that there were only ,
Lizzie the daughter in question and the youth B oth very

, , .
respectable Sh e added , .
“
It is dreadful that any stigma should attach to them ,
said the visitor whom the consideration rendered so uneasy

,
that he rose and paced to and fro mutte ring Dreadful !

, , ,
Unforeseen How could i t be foreseen Then he stopped ,

“
and asked aloud Where do they live
Pleasant further explained that only the daughter had
resided with the father at the time of his accidental death ,
and that she had immediately afterwards quitted the

neighbourhood .
“ “
I know that said the man for I have been to t h e
, ,
place they dwelt in at the time of the inquest Could you , .
quietly find out for me where she lives now ?

Pleasant had n o doubt she could do that Within what .
.
time did she think ? Within a day The visitor said that '
.
was well and he would return for the information relying on

, ,
its being obtained To this dialogue Riderhood had attended .
in silence an d he now obsequiously bespake the Captain

, .
“
Captain ! Mentioning them u n for t n e t words of mine ’
respecting Gaffer it is c o n tr a i r i l y to be bore in mind that

,
Gaffer always were a precious rascal and that his line were ,
a thieving line L i keways when I went to them two

.
’
Governors Lawyer Lightwood and t h e t other Governor
, ,
with my information I may have been a little over eager

.
,
-
for the cause of j ustice or (to put it another way) a little ,
over sti m ulated by them feelings which rouses a man up

-
,
when a pot of money is going about to get his hand into ,

’
that pot Of money for his fa mily s sake Besides which .
,
I think the wine of them two Governors was— I will not

say a h ocussed wine but fur from a wine as was e l th y for ,
the mind And there s another thing to be remembered

.
’
,
Captain Did I Stick to them words when Gaffer was n o

.
‘
more and did I say bold to them two Governors Governors
, ,
both wot I informed I still inform ; wot was took down

NO I says frank and open—no shuffling
,
I hold to ? ’
.
, ,
’
n r i n d you Captain I m a y have been mistook , I ve been
,
THE CAP TAIN O RD E R S RID E RH O O D AB OU T 42 7
a- think i ng of it it mayn t have been took down correct
,
’
on this and that and I won t swear to thick and thin I d ,

’
,
’
r a yth e r forfeit your good O pinions than do it And so far ’

.
as I know concluded Mr Riderhood by way of proof an d

,
”
.
,
evidence to character “
I ha ve a c ti wa l l y forfeited the good ,
opinions of several persons— even your own Captain if , ,
I understand your words— but I d sooner do it than be for ’
swore There if that s conspiracy call me conspirator

.
’
,
.
“
You Shall Sign said the visitor taki n g very little heed ,
”
,
“
of this oration a statement that it was all utterly false
, ,
and the poor girl shall have it I will bring it with me for .
”
your Signature when I come again ,
.
”
When might you be expected Captain inquir ed Rider ,
hood again dubiously gett i ng between him and the door

,
.
“
Quite soon enough for you I Shall not disappoint you .
”
don t be afraid
’
.
“
Might you be inclined to leave any name Captain ,
No not at all I have no such intention

, . .
‘
Shall is summ at of a hard word Captain urged
’ ’
, ,
Riderhood still feebly dodgi n g between him and the door

, ,
“ ‘ ’
as he advanced When y ou say a man Shall Sign this
.
and that and t other Captain you order him about in a

’
, ,
grand sort of a way Don t it seem SO to yourself ? .

’
The man stood still and angrily fixed him with his eyes ,
.
Father father ! entreated Pleasant from the door with

,
”
, ,
“
her disengaged hand nervo usly tremblin g at her lips don t ! ’
Don t get into trouble any more

’
“
H ear me out Captain hear me out All I was wishing
, ,
to mention Captain afore you took your departer said the

, , ,
”
“
sneaking Mr Rid erh ood falling out of his path was your
.
, , ,
handsome words relating to the reward .
“
When I claim it said the man i n a tone which seemed ,
”
,
“
to leave some such words as you dog very distin ctly ,
”
“
understood you Shall share it,
.
L ooking steadfastly at Riderhood he once more said in ,
a low voice this time with a grim sort of admiration of him

,
“ ”
as a perfect piece of evil What a liar you are ! and nod , ,
ding his head twice or thrice over the compliment passed ,
out of the shop But to Pleasant he said good night kindly

. .
The honest man who gained his living by the sweat of

his brow remained in a state akin to stupefaction until the ,
footless glass and the unfinished bottle conveyed themselves

into his mind F rom his mind he conveyed them into his
.
hands and so conveyed the last of the wine into his Stomach
, . .
When that was done he awoke to a clear perception that

,
Poll Parroting was solely chargeable with wh at had passed .
Therefore not to be remiss in his duty as a father he thre w

, ,
a pair of sea boots at Pleasant which she ducked to avoid

-
, ,
and then cried poor thing using her hair fo r a pocket

, ,
handkerchief .
Here he ceased to be the oakum headed oakum whiskered -
,
-
man on whom Miss Pleasant Riderhood had looked and , ,
allowing for his being stil l wrapped in a nautical overcoat ,
became as like that same l ost wanted Mr Ju l ius Han dford .
as never man was like another in this world In the breast .
of the coat he stowed the bristling hair and whis ker in ,
a moment as the favouring wind went with him down a

,
solitary place that it had swept clear of passengers Yet .
in that same moment he was the Secretary also Mr Boffin s , .

’
Secretary F or John Rok e s m i th too was as li ke that same

.
, ,
lost wanted Mr Julius Handford as never man was like

.
another in this world .
“
I have no clue to the scene of my death said he Not , .
that it matters now B u t having risked discovery by ventu r

.
ing here at all I should have been glad to track some par t
,
of the way With which si ngular words he abandoned his

.
”
search came up out of Limehouse Hole and took the way

, ,
past L i mehouse Church At the great i ron gate of the .
churchyard he stopped and looked in He looked up at the .
high tower spectrally resisting the wind and he looked ,
ro u n d at the white tombstones like enough to the dead ,
in their winding sheets an d he counted the n i ne tolls of

-
,
the clock bell -

.
“
It is a sensation not experienced by many mortals said ,
“
he to be looking into a churchyard on a wil d windy night
, ,
an d to fe el that I no more hold a place among the living

than these dead do and even to know that I lie buried some
,
where else as they lie buried here Nothing uses me to it

, . .
A spirit that was once a man could hardly feel stranger or

lonelier going u nrecogn i sed among mankind than I feel
,
.
“
But this is the fanciful side of the situation It has .
a real S ide so di fficult that though I think of it every day

, , ,
I never thorough l y think it out Now let me determine to .

,
think it out as I walk home I know I evade it as many

men —
.
,
perhaps most men — do evade thinking their way

through their gre atest perplexi ty I will try to pin myself .
’
to mine Don t evade it John Harmon ; don t evade it ;
.
’
thi nk it o u t
When I came back to England attracted to the country ,
with which I had none but most miserable associations by ,
the acco u nts O f my fine inheritance that found me abroad ,

’
I came back shrinking from my father s money shrinking
, ,
THIN K IT O U T, JO H N H ARM O N 43 1
from my father s memory mistrustful of being forced on
’
a mercenary W ife mistrustful of my father s intention in

,
’
thrustin g that marriage on me mistru stful that I wa s ,
already growing avaricious mistru stful that I was slackening ,
in gratitude to the two dear noble honest friends who h a d

made the only sunlight of my childish life or that of my
heart broken S ister I came back timid divided in my min d
-
. .
, ,
afraid of myself and everybo dy here knowing of nothing but ,
wretchedness that my father s wealth h a d ever brought about ’

.
No w stop and SO far think it out J ohn Harmon Is that

, ,
.
so That is exactly SO .
“
On board serving as third m ate wa s G eorge Ra d foo t
, ,
.
I kne w nothing of him His name first became known to

.
me about a week before we saile d thro u gh my being accosted ,

‘
by one of the ship agent s clerks as Mr Ra d fo o t It was
’
. .
’
one day when I had gone aboard to look to my preparations ,
and the clerk coming behin d me as I stoo d on d eck tapped

, ,
‘
me on the shoulder and said Mr Ra d fo o t look here
, ,
.
, ,
’
referring to some papers that he h a d in h is hand An d my .
name first bec a me known to Ra d foot throu gh a nother clerk ,
within a day or two and while the ship was yet in port
, ,
coming up behind him tapping him on th e shoulder a n d,
beginning I beg your pardon Mr Harmon

,
I believe ,
.
we were alike in bulk and statu re but not otherwise a n d , ,
that we were not strikingly a like even in those respects , ,
when we were together and could be compared .
“
However a sociable word or two on these m istakes b e
,
came an easy introdu ction between us and the weather was ,
hot and he helped me to a cool cabin on deck alongside his

,
own and his first school had been at Brussels as mine had
,
been and he had learnt F rench as I had learnt it and h e

, ,
had a little history of himself to r elate — G o d only knows

how much of it true and how much of it false — that had its
,
likeness to mine I had been a seaman too So we got to

, .
be confidential together and the more easily yet b ecause he

, ,
and every one on board had known by general rumour what

I was making the voyage to England for By su ch degrees .
and means he came to the knowledge of m y uneasiness

,
of min d and of its setting at that time in the direction of

,
des i ring to see and form some j udgment of m y allotted wife ,
before she could possibly know me for my self ; also to try

Mrs Bo ffi n and give her a glad surprise So the plot wa s
. .
ni ade out of our getting common sailor s dresses (as he ’

was able to guide me about London ) and throwing our , ,
selves in Bella W i l fe r s neighbourh oo d an d trying to put ’
ou rselves in her way and doing whatever chanc e might ,

-
favour on the spot and seeing what came of it If nothing

, .
ca m e of it I should be no worse o ff and there would merely

, ,
be a Short delay in my presenting myself to Lightwood .
I have a l l these facts right Yes They are all accurately .
right .
“
His advantage i n all this was that for a time I was to ,
be lost It might be for a day or for two days but I mu st

.
,
be lost sight of on landing or there wou ld be recognition , ,
anticipation and fail ure Therefore I disembarked with my

,
.
,
valise in my hand — as Potterso n the steward and Mr Jacob .
Kibble my fellow passenger afterwards remembered — and -
waited for him in the dark by that very Limehouse Church

which is n o w behind me .
“
As I had al ways shunned the port of London I only ,
knew the church th r o ir gh his pointing out its Spire from

on board Perhaps I might recall if it were any good to
.
,
tr y the way by which I went to it alone from the river ;

,
but how we two went from it to Riderhood s shop I don t ’ ’
know — any more than I know what turns we took and

doubles we made after we left it The way was purposely .
confused no doubt ,
.
“
But let me go on thinking the facts out and avoid con ,
fusing the m with my Speculations Whether he took me by .
a straight way or a crooked way, what is th at to the purpose

now Steady John Harmon ,
.
“
When we stopped at Riderhoo d s an d he asked that ’
scou ndrel a questio n or two purporting to refer only to the ,
lodging houses in which there was accommodation for us had

-
,
I the least suspicio n of him ? N one Certainly none until .
afterwards when I h eld the clue I think he must have got

,
.
from Riderhood in a paper the drug or whatever it was that

, , , ,
afterwards s tu p e fie d me but I am far from sure All I felt safe ,

.
in charging on him to night was old companionship in villainy

-
between them Their undisguised intimacy an d the character

.
,
I n o w k now Riderhoo d to bear made that not at all a d v e n ,
turons But I am n ot clear about the drug Thinking out

. .
the circumstances on which I found my suspicion they are

only two One : I re member his changing a small fol ded
,
paper from one pocket to another after we came out which ,
he had not tou ched before Two : I n o w know Riderhood .

kne w a silence of days week s months years was broken by
, , , , ,
a violent wrestling of men all over the room The figure .
like myself was assailed and my valise was in its hand I , .
was trodden upon and fallen over I heard a noise of blows .

,
and thought it was a wood cutter cutting down a tree I -

.
could not have said that my name was John Harmon — I

could n ot have thought i t— I didn t know i t— but when ’
I heard the blows I thought of the wood cutter and his axe
,
-
.
and had some dead idea that I was lying in a forest “
This is still correct ? Still correct with the exception ,
that I cannot possibly express it to myself without using the

word I B ut it was not I There was no such thing as I
. .
,
within my knowledge . .
“
It was only after a downward slide through something
like a tube and then a great noise and a sparkling and a
,
crackling as of fires that the consciousness came upon me

, ,
‘
This is John Harmon drowning ! John Harmon struggle ,
for your life John Harmon call on Heaven and save your
.
,
self ! I think I cried it out alou d in a great agony and

’
,
then a heavy horrid unintelligible something vanished and ,
it was I who was struggling there alone in the water .
“
I was very weak and faint frightfully oppressed with ,
drowsiness and driving fast with the tide Looking over the
,
.
black water I saw the lights racing past me on the two banks
,
of the river as if they were eager to be gone and leave me

,
dying in the dark The tide was running down but I kn ew

.
,
nothing of up or down then When guiding myself safely .

,
with Heaven s assistance before the fierce set of t h e water I

’
at last caught at a boat moored one of a tier of boats at a ,
ca u seway I was sucked under her and came up only j ust

, , ,
alive on the other side

,
.
“
Was I long in the water ? L ong enough to be c hilled to
’
the heart but I don t know how long Yet the cold was
,
.
merciful for it was the col d night air and the rai n that
,
.
restored me from a swoon on the stones of the causeway .
They naturally supposed me to have toppled in drunk wh en , ,
I crept to the public house it belonged to ; for I had no

.
-
notion where I was and could not articulate — through the

,
poison that had made me insensible having affected my speech

”
and I supposed the night to be the previous night as it ,
was stil l dark and raining But I had lost twenty four .
-
h ours .
“
I have checked the calculation often and it must have ,
MORE DE AD T HAN ALI V E
was lying for recognition In a wil d incautious way I hurried .
there and there — with the horror of the death I had escaped
,
before my eyes in its most appalling shape added to the ,
inconceivable h orror tormenting me at th a t ti m e when the '
poisonous stuff was strongest on me — I perceived that Rad

foot had been murdered by some unknown hands for the
money for which he would have murdered me and th at ,
probably we had both been shot into the river from the
same dark place into the same dark tide when the stream ,
ran deep and strong .
“
That night I almost gave up my mystery though I ,
suspected no one could ofie r no i nformation knew absolutely

, ,
nothing save that the murdered man was not I but Ra d foo t , .
Next day while I hesitated and next day while I hesitated , ,
it seemed as if the whole country were determined to have

me dead The Inquest declared me dead the Government
.
,
pro claimed me dead I could not listen at my fireside for five

minutes to the outer noises but it was borne into my ears ,
that I was dead .
So John Harmon died and Julius Handfo rd disappeared , ,
a n d John Ro k e s m i th was born John Rok e s m i th s intent .

’
to night has been to repair a wrong that he could never have

-
,
imagined possible co ming to his ears through the Lightwood

,
talk relate d to him and which he is bound by every con ,
sideration to remedy In that intent John Rok e s m i th will .
persevere as his duty is

,
.
“
No w is it all thought out All to this time Noth ing
,
omitted No noth i ng But beyo nd this time

,
To thi nk .
it out through the future is a harder though a much shorte r

task than to thi nk it out through the past Jo hn Harmon .
is dead Should John Harmon come to life ?

.
If yes why ? If no why

, ,
Take yes first To enlight e n human Justice concern i ng

,
.
the offence of one far beyond it who may have a living ,
mother To enlighten it with the lights of a stone passage

. ,
a flight of stairs a brown window curtai n and a black man

,
-
,
.
To co m e into possession of my father s money and with it ’
s ordidly to buy a beautiful creature whom I love — I cannot

help it reason has nothing to do with it I love her aga inst
reason but who would as soon love me for my own sake as
-
,
she would love the beggar at the corner What a use for .
the money and how worthy of its old misuses

,
Now take no The reasons why John Harmon should

,
.
’
J O HN H ARM O N S D E C I SI O N 43 9
not come to life Because he has passively allowed these
.
dear old faithfu l friends to pass int o possession O f th

property Because he sees them happy with it making a
.
,
good use of it e ffacin g the Ol d rust and tarnish on the

,
money Because they have virtually adopted Bella and will

. ,
provide for h e r Because there is affection enough in h e r

.
n ature and warmth enough in her heart to develop into

, ,
something enduringly good under favourable conditions .
Because her faults have been intensified by her place in my

father s will and she is already grow i ng better Because her
’
,
.
marriage with John Harmon after what I h ave h eard from ,
her O wn lips woul d be a shocking mo ckery of which both

, ,
she and I mu st always be conscious and which would degrade ,
her in her mind and me in mine an d each O f us in the

, ,
other s B ecause if John Harmon comes to life and does not

’
.
marry her the property falls into the very hands that hol d
,
it now .
“
What would I have ? Dead I have found the tru e ,
friends of my l i fetime S till as true as tender and as faithfu l , ,
as when I was alive and making my memory an incentive to

,
good actions done i n my name Dead I have found them .

, ,
when they might have slighted my name and passed greedily

over my grave to ease and wealth l i ngering by the way like , ,
single heart ed children to recall their love for me when I

-
,
wa s a poor frightened chil d Dead I have heard from the .

,
woman who would have been my wife if I h a d lived the ,
revolting truth th at I Should have purchased her caring ,
nothing for me as a Sultan buys a slave

,
.
“
W hat would I have ? If the dead could know or do ,
know how the living u se them who among the hosts O f dead
, ,
has found a more disinterested fidelity on earth than I Is

not that enough for me ? If I had come back these n oble ,
creatures would have welcomed me wept over me given up , ,
everything to me with joy I did not come back a n d they .

,
have passed unspoiled into my place Let them rest in it .

,
and let Bella rest in hers .
What course for me then ? This To live the same quiet ,
Secretary l i fe carefully avoiding chances of recognition until

, ,
they Shall h ave become more accustomed to their altered

state and until the great swarm of swindlers under many
,
names Shall have found newer prey By that time the .

,
method I am establishi ng through all the affairs and with ,
which I will every day take new p ains to make them both
familiar wil l be I may h O p e a machine in such working
, , ,
order as that they can keep it going I know I need but a s k .
of their generosity to have When the right time comes I .

,
wi ll ask no more than will replace me in my former path of

life and John Ro k e s m i th shall tread it as contentedly as he
,
may B u t John Ha r mon shall come back no more

. .
Tha t I may ne ver in the days to come afar o ff have any

, ,
weak misgiving that Bella might in any contingency have , ,
taken me for my o wn sake if I had plainly asked her I wi ll ,
plainly ask her : proving beyond all question what I already

kno w too well And now it is all thought out from the
.
,
beginning to the end and my mind is easier , .
SO deeply engaged had the living dead man been , in thus -
com m u ning with hi m self, that he had regarded neither the

wind nor the way and had resisted the former as instinctively
,
as he had p u rs u ed the latter B u t being now come into the .
City where there was a coach stand he stood irresolute

,
-
,
whether to go t o his lodg i ngs or to go first to Mr Boffin s , .

’
house He decided to go round by the house arguing as he

.
, ,
carried his overcoat upon his arm that it was less likely to ,
attrac t notice if left there than if taken to Holloway : both

,
Mrs Wilfer and Miss Lavinia being ravenously curious

.
to u ching every article O f which the lodger stoo d possessed .
Arriving at the house he fou n d that Mr and Mrs Bo ffin

,
. .
were out b u t that Miss Wilfer was in the drawing room

,
-
.
Miss Wilfer had remained at home in consequ ence of not

feeling very well and had inquired in the evening if Mr
, .
Ro k e s m i th were in his room .
“
Make my co m pliments to Miss Wilfer and say I am ,
here n o w .
”
Miss W i l fe r s comp l iments ca m e down in return and if it

’
were not too m u ch tro uble would Mr Rok e s m i th be so kind

,
.
as to come up before he went ?

It was not too much trouble and Mr Rok e s m i th came up , . .
Oh Sh e looke d very pretty she looked very very pretty !

, , ,
If the father of the late John Harmon had but left his
money u nconditionally to his son and if his son had but ,
lighted on this lovable girl for himself and had the happiness ,
to make her loving as well as lovable

“
Dear me ! Are you not well Mr Ro k e s m i th , .
Yes quite well

,
I was sorry to hear when I came in , ,
that y ou were not .

442 O UR MUTU AL FRI E ND
the fal l of bright brown hair over the beautiful neck woul d ,
probably have remained sil ent .
“ “
I wish to speak to you Si r said Bella once for all and , , , ,
I don t kn ow how to do it I have sat here a ll this eveni ng

’
.
,
wi shi ng to speak to you and determining to speak to you , ,
and feeling that I mu st I beg for a moment s time .

’
.
He rema i ned silent and Sh e rema i ned with her face

,
averted sometimes making a sli ght movement as if she would

,
turn and Speak At length she did so. .
“
You know how I am Situated here sir an d you kn ow , ,
how I am situated at home I must speak to you for myself .

,
s i nce there is no one about me whom I could ask to do so .
It is not generous in you it is not honour able in you to , ,
conduct your self towards me as you do .

”
Is it ungenerous or dishonourable to be devoted to you

fascinate d by you
Preposterou s Said Bella .
The late John Harmon might have thought it rather a

contemptuous and loft y word of repudi ati on .
“
I now feel Obliged to go on pu rsued the Se cretary , ,
though it were only in self explan ation and se lf defence I - -
h O pe Miss Wilfer that it is not unpardonable—even in m e

.
, ,
to make an honest declaration of an hone s t devotion to

you.
“
An honest declaration repeated Bell a with emphasis , .
Is it otherwise
I must request sir said Be l la ta ki n g refuge in a touch
, , ,
“
of kindly resentment that I may not be questioned You
, .
”
must excuse me if I decline to be cross examined -
.
“
Oh Miss Wilfer this is hardly charitable I as k yo u
, ,
.
noth i ng but what your own emphas i s suggests However I .

,
waive even that questi on But what I have declared I take .

,
my s tand by I can not recall the avowal O f my earnest and

.
deep attachment to you and I do not recall it , .

”
I reject it Si r said Bell a

, ,
”
.
I should be bl i nd and deaf if I were not prepared fo r

the reply F orgive my Offence for it carries its puni shment
.
,
with it .
“
What puni shment ? asked Bella .
Is my present end urance none But excuse me ; I did

not mean to cross exam in e you agai n -
.
‘
You take advantage of a hasty word of mi ne said Be l l a , .
with a little sting of self reproach “

to make me seem— I -
,
SU SP E CTE D AND R E J E CT E D
’
do n t know what I Spoke without consideration when I used
.
it If that was bad I am sorry ; but you repeat it after

.
,
consideration and that seems to me to be at least no better

, .
F or the rest I beg it may be u nderstood Mr Rok e s m i th

, ,
.
,
that there I s an end of this between us now and for ever ,

.
’
Now and for ever h e repeated ,

’’
.
Yes I appeal t o you Si r proceeded Bella with i n c r e a s

.
, ,
”
,
ing Spirit not to pursue me I appeal to you not to take

, .
advantage of your position in this house t o make my position

in it distressing and disa greeable I appeal to you to dis .
continue your habit O f making your misplaced attentions as

”
plai n to Mrs Bo ffin a s to me
. .
“
Have I don e so
I should think you have replied B ell a In any case , .
it is not your fault if you have not Mr Ro ke s m i th , . .

”
“
I hope you are wrong in that impression I should be .
very sorry to have j ustified it I think I have not F or . .
the future there is no apprehension It is all over . .

”
“
I am much relieved to hear it said Bella I have far ,
”
.
other views in life and why should you waste your own
,
Mi ne sa id the Secretary My life .
His curious tone caused Bella to glance at the curiou s smile

with which he said it It was gone as he glanced back
. .
“
Pardon me Miss Wil fer he proceeded when their eyes
, , ,
“
met you have u sed some hard words for which I do ,
not doubt you have a j ustification i n your mind that I do ,
not understa nd Ungenerous and dishonourable in W hat

.
I would rather not b e asked said Bella haughtily look , ,
ing down .
I would rather not ask but the question is imposed upon ,

”
me Kindly explain or if not kindly j ustly
.
, .
“
Oh sir ! said Bella raising her eyes to his after a little
, , ,
“
struggle to forbear is it generou s and honourable to u s e
,
the power here which your favour with Mr and Mrs Boffin . .
an d your ability in your place give you against me ,
Against you
Is it generous and honourable to form a plan for gradually
brin ging their influence to bear upon a su it which I have
Shown you that I do not like and which I tell you that I ,
utterly reject
The late John Harmon could have borne a good deal but ,
b would have been cut to the heart by such a suspicion as

tl?1 s .
Would it be generou s and honourable to step into your
place — if you did so for I d on t k now that you did and
,
’
I hope you did not— anticipating or knowi ng be forehand , ,
that I should come here and designing to take me a t th i s ,
disadvantage
“
This mean and cru el disadvantage said the Secretary , .
”
Yes assented Bella
,
.
The Secretary kept si lence for a little while ; then merely

said,
You are wholly mistaken Miss Wil fer ; wonderfully ,
mistaken I cannot s a y ho wever that it is your faul t

. If , ,
.
I deserve better things of you you do n ot know it , .

”
At least sir retorted Bell a with her old indignatio n

, , ,
rising you know the history of my being here at all I

,
.
have heard Mr Bo ffin say that you are master of every line
.
and word of that will as you are master of a ll his affa irs ,
.
And was it not enough that I should have been willed away ,
like a horse or a dog or a bird ; but must you too begin to

, ,
dispose of me in your mi nd and spec u late in me as soon a s , ,
I had ceased to be the talk and the laugh of the town Am

I for ever to be made the property of strangers
“
“
Believe me returned the Se cretary you a re wonderfully
,
”
,
”
mistaken .
I should be glad to know it a nswered Bella ,

.
I doubt if you ever will Good night Of course I shall . .
be careful to conceal any traces of this i nterview fro m Mr .
and Mrs Bo ffin as long as I remain here Tru st me what

.
,
.
,
you have complained of is at an end for e ver .

”
“
I a m glad I have spoken then Mr Rok e s m i th It has , , . .
been painfu l and diffi cult b u t it is done If I have hurt , .
you I hope you will forgive me I am inexperienced and

, .
impetuous and I have been a li ttle Spoilt but I really am

,
n Ot so bad as I dare say I appear or as you thi nk me ,

.
He quitte d the room when Bella had s a id this relenting i n ,
her wilful inconsistent way Left alone Sh e threw herself .

,
back on her ottoman and said I didn t know the lovely

, ,
’
wo m an was such a Dragon ! Then she got up and looked ”
“
in the glass and said to her i mage Y o u have been posi
, ,
ti v e l y swelling you r featu res you little fool ! Then she ”

,
took an impatient wal k to the other end of the room and

back and said I wish Pa was here to have a ta l k about an
, ,
avaricious marriage ; but he is better away po or dear for , ,
I know I should pull his hair if he was here And then .

”
she threw her work away and threw h e r book after it a n d , ,

C HAP T ER XI V
TRO NG
S OF PURPO SE
THE sexton task of pil ing earth abov e John Harmon all night
-
long was not conducive to sound sleep ; but Rok e s m i th had

some broken morning rest and rose strengthened in his ,
purpose It was all over now NO ghost sho ul d trouble

. .
Mr and Mrs Bo fli n s peace invisible and voiceless the ghost

. .
’
S hould look on for a little while longer at the state of exist
ence out O f which it had departed and then should for ever ,
cease to haunt the scenes in which it had no place .
He went over it all again He h ad lapsed into the con .
dition in which he foun d himself as m any a man lapses into ,
many a condition without perceiving th e accumulative power

,
of its se parate circumstances When in the distrust engen .
dered by his wretched childhood and the action for evil

never y e t for good withi n his knowledge then — O f his father
and his father s wealth on all with i n their influence he
’
conceived the idea of his first deception it was meant to be ,
harmless it was to last but a few hours or days it was to

, ,
involve in it only the girl so capriciously forced upon him ,
and upon whom he was so capriciously forced and it was ,
honestly meant well towards her F or if he had found her .
unhappy in the prospect of that marriage (through her heart

inclining to another man or fo r any other cause) he would ,
“
seriously have said : This is another of the old perverted
uses of the misery mak ing money I will let it go to my
-
.
’
and my sister s only protectors and friends When the .
snare into which he fell so outstripped his first intention as

that he found himself placarded by th e police authorities
upon the London walls for dead he confusedly accepted th e ,
aid that fell upon him without considering how firmly it

,
must seem to fix the Bofli n s in their accession to the fortune .
When he saw them and knew them and even from his ,
vantage ground O f inspection could fin d no flaw in them he

-
,
“
asked himself And S hall I come to life to dispossess such
,
people as these ? There was no good to set against the

”
putting O f them to that hard proof He had heard from .

’
J O HN H ARM O N S F INAL R ESO LU TI O N 447
Bella s own lips when he stood tapping at th e door on that
’
night of his t aking the lodgings that the m arriage would ,
have been on her part thoroughly m ercenary He had since .
tried her i n his own unknown person and supposed station

, ,
and she not only rejected his advances but resented them .
Was it for him to have the shame of buying h e r or the ,
meanness O f punishing her ? Yet by coming to life and ,
accepting the condition Of the inheritance he must do the ,
former ; and by coming to life and rej ecting it he mu st do ,
the latte r .
Another conse qu enc e that he had never foreshadowed was ,
the implication of an innocent man in his supposed murder .
He would obtain complete retractation from the accuser and ,
set the wrong right but clearly the wrong could never have
been done if he had n ever planned a deception Then what .
,
ever inconvenience O r distress of min d the deception c ost

him it was manful repentantly to accept as among its con
, .
sequences an d m ake no complain t

,
.
Thus John Ro k e s m i th in the morning and it buried John ,
Harmon still many fathoms deeper than he had been buried

in th e night .
Going out earlier than he was accustomed to do he ,
encountered the cherub at the door The cherub s way was .

’
for a certain space his way and they walked t ogether , .
It was impossible not to notice the change in the cherub s ’
appearance The cherub felt very conscious of it and

.
,
“
modestly remarked : A present from my daughte r B ella ,
Mr Ro k e s m i th
. .
”
The words gave the Secretary a stroke of pleasure for he ,
remembered the fifty pounds an d h e still loved the girl

NO doubt it was ve ry weak —i t always i s very weak some
, .
authorities hold— but he loved the girl .
“
I don t know whether you happen to have read many
’
books O f African Travel Mr Rok e s m i th said R W . . .
I have read several .
Well you kno w there s usu ally a King George or a

, ,
’
King B oy or a King Sambo, or a King Bill or Bull or

, , ,
Rum or Junk or whatever name the sailors may have

, ,
happened to give him .

”
Where asked Rok e s m i th .
Anywhere Anywhere i n Africa I mean Pretty well

.
, .
everywhere I may say ; for bla ck kings are cheap — and I

,
thin k — Said R W .
“
with an apologetic air nasty
.
, , .
I a m much of yo u r opinion Mr Wilfer You were , . .
goin g to say
“
I was going to say the kin g i s genera l ly dress ed in a ,
London hat onl y or a Manc h ester pair of braces or one

, ,
epaulette or a uniform coat with his legs i n the sleeves o r

, , ,
”
something of that kind .
“ ”
J u st so said the Secretary
,
.
In confidence I assure you Mr Rok e s m i th observed

, , .
,
“
the cheerful cherub that when more of my family were ,
at home and to be provided for I used to remi nd myself ,
immensely of that king You have no idea as a single .

,
man of the di ffi c u lty I have had i n wearing more than on e

,
good article at a time .
“
I can easily believe it Mr Wilfer , . .
I only mention it said R W in the warmth of his ,

”
. .
heart ,
as a proof of th e ami able delicate and co n s iderate , ,
a ffection of my daughter Bell a If she had b e en a little .
spoil t I couldn t have thought so very much of it under the

,
’
,
c i rcu m stances But no not a bit. And she i s so very ,

.
pretty ! I hope you agree with me in finding her very

pretty Mr Rok e s m i th
,
.
“
Certainly I do Every one must . .
I hope so said the cherub ,

Indeed I have no doubt .
,
of it . This i s a great advancement for her in life Mr ,

.
Ro k e s m i th A great O pening of her prospects !

.
“
Mis s Wilfer could have no better friends than Mr and .
Bl na lBO flfin .
“
Impossible ! said the g ratified cherub Really I begin
”
.
to think things are very well as they are If Mr John . .
Harmon had lived

He is better dead said the Secreta ry .
NO I won t go so far as to s a y that urged the cherub

,
’
, , ,
a little remonstrant against the very decis ive and u npityi n g

’
tone b u t he mightn t have suited Bella or Bella m i ghtn t
’
have suited h im o r fifty things whereas now I h Ope s h e can

, ,
choose for hersel f .

”
Has Sh e — as you place the confidence in me of Speaking

o n the subject you will excuse my as king — has she — perhaps
— chosen
,
faltered the Secretary .
Oh dear no returned R W . .
Young ladies sometimes Rok e s m i th hinted choose ,

”
,
”
without mentioning their choice to their fathers .
Not in th i s case Mr Rok e s m i th Between my daughter , . .

’
together Now h e can t To give himself up to being put
. .
i n th e way of a r ning a good living and getting on he must

,
give me up Well ; he won t .

’
.
”
“
I respect him for i t said Ro k e s m i th .
.
DO ye sir ? I don t know but what I do myself Still

, .
’
that don t make it right to let him have h is way So as he .
’ ’
won t give me up I m a going to give h i m up ,
-
”
HO W Betty
.
I m a going to run away from him

’
-
.
With an astonished look at the indomitable old face and the

“
bright eyes the Secretar y repeated Run away from him
, ,
”
Yes sir said Betty with one nod And in the nod and
, , , .
in the firm set of her mo u th there was a vigour of purpose ,
not to be doubted .
Come come said the Secretary , We must talk about

, .
this Let us take our time over it and try to get at the
.
,
true sense O f the case and the true course by degrees , .

”
”
Now lookee here my dear returned old Betty asking , ,
your excuse for being so familiar but being of a time of life ,

’
a m os t to be your grandmother twice over Now lookee here . .
’
Tis a poor living and a hard as is to be got out o f this work
’
that I am a doing now and but for Sloppy I don t know as I
-
,
should have held to it this long But it did j ust keep us on

the two together Now that I m alone —with even Johnny
.
,
’
.
gone — I d far sooner be upon my feet and tiring of myself

’
o u t than a sitting folding and folding by the fire And I ll ’

-
.
,
tell you why There s a deadness steals O ver me at times.

’
,
’
tha t the kind of life favours and I don t like Now I seem
to have Johnny in my arms —n ow his mother— now his
.
,
, ,
mother s mother— now I seem to be a child myself a lying

’
, ,
-
once again in the arms of my own mother — then I get

numbed thought and senses till I start out of my seat
, , ,
a fe e r d that I m a growing like the poor old pe o ple that they

’
-
brick up in the Unio ns as you may sometimes see when they ,
let em out of the four walls to have a warm in the sun

’
,
crawling quite scared about the streets I was a nimble girl .

,
and have al ways been a active body as I told your lady firs t , ,
time ever I see her good face I can sti l l walk twenty mile .
if I a m put to it I d far better be a walking than a getting

.
’
- -
numbed and dreary I m a good fair knitte r a n d can make .

’
many little things to sell The loan from your lady and .
gentleman O f twenty Sh i l l i n gs t o fit out a basket with would

be a fortu ne for me Trudging round the country and tiring .
B ETTY HIGD E N G O ING TO RUN AW AY 45 1
of myself out I shall keep the deadness o ff an d get my o wn
, ,
bread by my own labou r And what m ore can I want .
An d this is your plan said th e Secret a ry “

for runni n g , ,
’
away
Show me a better ! My deary Show me a better ! Why , ,
“
I know very well said ol d Betty Hig den ,
and you know ,
very well that you r lady an d gentleman would set me up

,
lik e a queen for the rest of my life if so be that we could ,

’
make it right among us to have it so But we can t make it .
right among us to have it SO I ve never took charity yet .

’
nor yet has any one belonging to me An d it would be .
forsaking of myself in deed and forsaking of my children dead ,
and gone and forsaking of their children dead a n d gone to

, ,
set up a contradiction now at last .

”
It might come to be j ustifiable an d u n avoidable at last ,
the Secretary gently hinted with a slight stress on the word , .
I hope it never wi ll It ain t that I mean to give Offence ’
“
by being anyways prou d said the old creature simply but , ,
that I want to be of a piece l i ke an d helpful of myself right ,
through to my death .
”
“
An d to be sure added the Secretary as a comfort for
, ,
“
her Sloppy will be eagerly looking forward to his opp o r
,
”
tu n i ty of being to you what you have been t o him .
“
Trust him for that sir said B etty cheerfully , ,
.
Though he had need to be something quick about it for ,
I m a getting to be an old one

’
-
But I m a Strong one too .
’
an d travel and weather never hurt me yet Now be so kin d ,
as speak for me to your lady and gentleman and tell em ,

’
what I ask of their good frien dliness to let me do and wh y ,
I ask it .
”
The Secretary felt that there was n o gainsaying what wa s

urged by this brave old h eroine and h e presently repaired to ,
Mrs Boffin and recommended her to let Betty Higden have

.
her way at all events for the time

,
It wou ld be far m ore .
”
satisfactory to your kind heart I kn ow he said to provide , , ,
for her but it may be a duty to respect this in dependent

,
Spirit Mrs B offin was not proof against the con sideration
”
. .
set before her She an d her husban d had worked too and
.
,
had brought their simple faith and honour clean out O f dust
heaps If they owed a duty to Betty Higden of a surety
.
,
that duty must be done .
“
But Betty said Mrs Bo ffin when she accompanied
, , .
,
John Rok e s m i th back to his room and shone upon her with ,
452 O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
the light of her radiant face granted all else I think I , ,
wouldn t run away ’

.
“ ’
Two u ld come easier to Sloppy said Mrs Higden ,
.
,
“ ’
S haking her head Twould come easier to me too But . .
’
tis as you please .
“
When would you go
” “
Now was the bright and ready answer
, To day my .
-
,
deary to morrow Bless ye I am used to it I know many

,
-
.
, .
parts of the country well When nothing else wa s to be .
done I have worked in many a market garden afore n o w

,
-
,
and in many a hop garden too .
If I give my consent to your going Betty which Mr ,

.
Rok e s m i th thinks I ought to do

Betty thanked him with a gratef u l cur tsey .
—W e must not lose sight of you We must not let you .
pass o u t of our knowledge We must know all about you . .

”
“
Yes my deary but not through letter writing because -
letter writing—indeed writing O f most sorts — hadn t much

, , ,
’
-
,
come up for such as me when I was young But I Shall be .
to and fro No fear of my missing a chance of giving

.
”
myself a Sight of your reviving face Besides said Betty .
, ,
“
with logical goo d faith I shall have a d e b t to pay o ff by , ,
littles and naturally that would bring me back if nothing

, ,
”
else would
Mu s t it be done asked Mrs Bo ffin Still reluctant of
.
“
.
, ,
the Secretary .
I think it must .
After more discussion it was agreed that it should be

d one and Mrs B offin summone d Bella to note down the
,
.
little purchases that were necessary to set Betty up in

“
trade Don t ye be timorous for me my dear said the
.
’
, ,
“
staunch Old heart observant of Bella s face when I take ,
’
my seat with my work clean and busy and fresh in a.
, ,
country market place I shall t u rn a Sixpence as sure as ever

-
a farmer s wife there ’

.
The Secretary took that opportunity Of touching on the

“
practical question of Mr Sl Oppy S capabilities He w ould .
’
.
have made a wonderful cabinet maker said Mrs Hi g d e n i f “

-
,
”
.
,
there had been the money to put him to it Sh e had seen .
him handle tools that he had borrowed to mend the mangle ,
or to knock a broken piece of furniture together in a sur ,
prising manner As to constructing toys for the M i nders .

,
out of nothing he had done that daily And once as many,

.
454 O UR MUTU AL F RIE ND
Mrs Bo ffin know the schoolmaster s name ? NO b ut she
.
’
knew where th e school was Quite enough Promptly th e . .
Secretary wrote to the master of that school and that ve r y ,
evening Bradley Headstone an swered in person .
The Secretary stated to the schoolmaster how the obj ect

was to send to him for certain o ccasional evenin g instructio n
, ,
a youth whom Mr and Mrs Bofli n wished to help to an

. .
industrious and u seful place in life The schoolmaster was .
willing to undertake t he charge of such a pupil The Secre .
tary inquired on what terms The school master stated on

what terms Agreed and dispose d o f
. .
“ ” “
May I ask sir said Bradley Headstone to wh os e good
, , ,
O pinion I o we a recommen dation to you

‘
Y o u should know that I am not the principal here I .
am Mr Boffi n s Secretary Mr Bofli n is a gentleman who

’
. . .
inherited a property of which you may have heard some

public mention the Harmon property .
”
Mr Harmon said B radley who would have been a great

.
,
deal more at a loss than he was if he had known to whom ,

“
he spo ke was murdered and found in the river ,
.
W a s murdered an d fo un d in the river .
It was not
No interposed the Secretary smiling it was not he
,
”
, ,
who recommended you Mr Bofli n heard of you through a

. .
ce rtain Mr Lightwoo d
. I think you know Mr Lightwood
. .
,
or kno w of h i m
“
I know as much of him as I wish to know sir I have ,
.
no acquaintance with Mr Lightwood and I desir e none I .

,
.
have no obj ection to Mr Lightwood but I have a particular .

,
objection to some of Mr Lightwood s friends i n S hort to .

’
-f
,
one of Mr Light wood s friends

. His great friend
’
. .
”
He c ould hardly get the words out even then and there so , ,
fierce did he grow (though keepin g himself down with i nfinite

pains of repression ) when the careless and contemptuous
,
bearing O f Eugene W r a y b u r n rose before his mind .
The Secretary saw there was a strong feeling here on some

sore point and he would have made a diversion from it but
, ,
for Bradley s hol ding to it in his cumbersome way

’
.
“
I have no obj ection to mention the friend by name he ,
“
said doggedly
,
The person I obj ect to is Mr Eugene
. .
W ra yb u r n .
”
The Secretary remembered him In his disturbed r e c ol .
lection of that night when he was striving again st the

UN P L E ASANT ASSO CI ATI O N S 455
’
d r ugged drink there was but a d i m image of Eugene s
,
person ; but he remembered his name and his manner of ,
speaking and how he had gone with them to view th e body

, ,
and where he had stood and what he had said

Pray Mr Headstone what is the name h e asked again
.
,
”
,
.
, , ,
try i ng to make a diversion of young He x a m s sister ,

’
“
Her name is Liz zie said the sch oo l maste r with a strong ,
”
,
contraction of hi s whole face .
“
She is a youn g woman of a remarkable charac te r ; is
she not ?
She is sufficiently remarkable to be very superior t o
Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n — though an o rdinary person might be
.
”
that sai d the schoolmas ter
,
and I hope you wil l not think
it i mpertinent in me sir to ask why you put the two names
“
, ,
together
By mere accident returned the Secretary Observing ,
.
that Mr W r a y b u r n was a d i sagreeable subj ect wi th you I

.
,
tried to get away from it ; though not very successfu ll y it ,
would appe ar .
”
“
DO you kn ow Mr W r a y b u r n sir .
,
No .
Then perhaps the names cannot be put together on th e

authority Of any representation of h is
Certa i nly not .
”
I took the liberty to ask said Bradley after castin g h i s , ,

“
eyes on the g round because he is capabl e of maki n g any ,
representation in the swaggering levity of h i s insolence I

, .
I hope you will not m i s u nderstand me sir I — I am mu ch , .
interested in this brother and sister and the subject awak ens ,
very strong feeli n gs within me Very very stro n g feelings .

, .
”
With a shaking hand Bradley took out his handkerchief and ,
wiped h i s brow .
The Secretary thought as he glanced at the schoolmaster s ,

’
face that he had opened a channel here indeed and that it

, ,
was an unexpectedly dark and deep and stormy one an d ,
di fficul t to sou nd All at once in th e midst of his turbul ent

.
,
emotions Bradley stopped and seemed to challenge h is look

, .
“
Much as though he su ddenly asked h i m What do you see ,
in me
“
The brother young He xa m was your real r e c o m m e n d a
, ,
”
tion here said the Secretary quietly go i ng back to the
, ,
“
point ; Mr and Mrs Boffi n happening to kn ow through
. .
,
Mr Lightwood that he was your pupil An yth i ng that I ask

.
,
.
r especting the brother and sister or either of them I ask for , ,
myself out of my own in te rest in the subj ect and not in

, ,
my o fficial character or on Mr Bo ffin s behalf How I come

, .
’
.
to be interested I nee d not explain You know the father s

,
.
’
connexion with the discovery of Mr Harmon s body .

’
“
Sir replied Bradley very restlessly indeed I know all
,
”
, ,
the circu mstances of that case .

”
“
Pray tell me Mr Headstone said the Secretary
,
. Does , .
th e sister suffer un der a n y stigma because of the i mpossible

a cc u sation —groundless would be a better word —that was
made against the father and substantially withdrawn ,
NO sir returned Bradley with a kin d of anger

, ,
”
,
.
I a m very glad to hear it .

”
The sister said Bradley separating his words over care

, ,
-
fully and speaking as if he were repeating them from a book

,
“
su ffers under no reproach that repels a man of u nimpeach
able character who has made for himself every step of his
,
way in life from placing her in his own station I will not
,
.
say raising her to his own station I say placi ng her in it ,

.
The sister labou rs under no reproach unless Sh e should u n ,
fortunately make it for herself When such a man is not .
deterred from regarding her as his equal and when he has ,
convinced himself that there is n o blemish on her I think ,

”
the fact must be taken to be pretty expressive .
“
And there is such a man said th e Secretary .
Bradley Headstone knotte d his brows and squared his ,

'
large lower j aw and fixed his eyes on the groun d with an
,
air of determination that see m ed unnecessary to the occasion ,

“ ”
as he replied And there is such a man .
The Secretary had no reason or excuse for prolonging the

conversation and it ended here Within three h ours the
,
.
oakum headed apparition once more dived into the Leaving

-
’
Sh O p and that night Rogue Riderhood s recantation lay in
the post o ffice addressed under cover to Li z z i e He x a m at h e r
,
right address .
All these proceedings occ upied John Rok e s m i th so much ,
that it was not until th e fol lowing day that he saw Bella
agai n It seemed the n to be tacitly understood between
.
them that they were to be as distantly easy as they could ,
without attracting the attention of Mr and Mrs Bofii n to . .
a n y marked change in their manner The fitting out of old .
Betty Higden was favourable to this a s keeping Bella e n ,
gaged and interested and as occupying the general attention

,
.
I wonder they re not ashamed of themselves They ain t ’
.
’
Pills or Hair Washes or Invigorating Nervous Essence s

,
-
, ,
to be puffed in that way

Having delivered himself of these remarks Mr Bo ffin took ,
.
a trot according to h i s usual custom and trotted back to

, ,
the spot from which he had started .
“
“
As to the letter Ro k e s m i th said Mr Boffin yo u re , ,
”
.
,
’
as right as a trivet Give her the letter make her take the .
,
letter put it in her pocket by violen ce She m ight fall sick . .
— You know you might fall sick said Mr Boffin “ Don t deny
,
” ’
. .
,
it Mrs Higden in your obstinacy you know you might

,
.
, .
”
Old Betty laughed and said that she would take the letter ,
and be thankful ;
“
That s right said Mr B offin
’
Come That s sensible . .
’
.
And don t be thankfu l to us (for we never thought of it)

’
but to Mr Rok e s m i th . .
”
The letter was written and read to her and given to h e r , , .
Now how do you feel ? ,

said Mr Bofli n Do you . .
like it
The letter sir said Betty Aye it s a beautiful
, ,
’
letter
No no no not the letter said Mr Boffin
, ,
The idea , . . .
’
Are you sure you re strong enough to carry out the idea ?
“
I S hall be stronger and keep the deadness off better this ,
way than any way left open to me sir

, , .
”
Don t say than any way left open you know urged Mr
’
, , .
“
B offin ; because there are ways without end A hou se .
keeper would be acceptable over yonder at the Bower for ,
instance Wouldn t you like to see the Bower and know

.
’
a retired literary man of the name of W e gg that lives there

— wi th a wooden leg
Old Betty was proof even against this temptation and fell ,
to adj usting her b lack b onnet and shawl .
I wouldn t let you go now it comes to this after all

’
,
, ,
“ ’
said Mr B offi n if I didn t hope that it may make a man
.
,
and a workman of Sloppy in as short a time as ever a man ,
and a workman was made yet Why what have you got .
,
there Betty
,
Not a doll ?
It was the man in the Guards who had been on duty over
Johnny s bed The solitary old woman showed what it was
’
.
,
and put it up quietly in her dress Then she gratefu l ly .
‘
took leave of Mrs Boffi n and of Mr Bo fli n and of Roke .
,
.
,
’
smith and then put her old withered arms round Bella s
,
C HAP T ER XV
THE W HO LE C ASE SO FAR
B RAD LE Y H EAD ST O N E held fast by that other interview he

was to have with Liz zie He x a m In stipulating for it he .
,
had been impelled by a feeling little short O f desperation ,
and the feeling abided by him It was very soon after his .
interview with the Secreta r y that he and Charley He x a m ,
set out one leaden evening not unnoticed by Miss P e e c h e r

, ,
to have this desperate interview accomplished .
’
That dolls dressmaker said Bradley is favourable
,
”
neither to me nor to you He x a m , .
“
A pert crooked little chit Mr Headstone ! I knew she , .
wo u l d put herself in the way if she c ould and would be , ,
sure to strike in with something impertinent It was on .
that account that I proposed our going to the City to night -
and meeting my Sister .
”
So I supposed said Bradley getting his gloves on his
, ,
nervous hands as he walked SO I supposed . .
“
Nobody but my sister pursued Charley woul d have
, ,
found out such an extraordi nary companion She has done .
it in a ridiculous fancy of giving herself up to another She .
told me so that night when we went there

,
.
”
Why should she give herself up to the dressmaker ?

asked Bradley .
“ ”
Oh ! said the boy colouring O ne of her romantic
,
.
ideas ! I tr i e d to convince her so but I didn t succeed ,

’
.
However what we have got to do is to succeed to night

, ,
-
,
Mr Headstone an d then a ll the rest follows

.
,
.
”
You are still sangu i ne He x a m ,

.
Certainly I am sir Why we have everyth i ng on our

, .
,
Except your Sister perhaps thought Bradley

, ,
. But h e
only gloomily thought it and said nothing , .
“
Everything on our side repeated the boy with boyish ,
EV E RYTHING O N O UR SID E 6
4 3
c onfidence .Respectabil ity an excellent connexion for me , ,
common sense everything ! ,
To be sure your sister has always shown herself a

,
devoted Sis ter said Bradley wil ling to sustain himself on

,
”
even that low ground of hope .
“
Natural ly Mr Headstone I have a good deal of i n flu
, .
,
ence with her And now that you hav e honoured me with
.
your confidence and spoken to me first I say again we have , ,
everyth ing on our side .

”
“
An d Bradley thought again Except your Sister perhaps , , .
A grey dusty withered even i ng in London city has not

a hopeful aspect The closed warehouses and offices have a n
.
air of death about them and the national dread of colou r has ,
an air of mournin g The towers and steeples of the many .
house encompassed churches dark and di ngy as the sky that

-
,
seems descending on them are no relief to the general gloom ,
a sun dial on a church wall has the look in its useless black
- -
,
shade of havi ng failed i n its business enterprise and stopped

,
payment for ever ; melancholy waifs and strays of house

keepers and porters sweep melancholy waifs and strays of
papers and pins i nto the kennels and other more melancholy ,
waifs and strays explore them searching and stoopin g an d ,
poki ng for anything to sell The set of humanity outward .
from the City is as a set of prisoners departing from gaol ,
and dismal Newgate seems qu ite as fit a stronghold for the

mighty Lord Mayor as his own state dwell i ng -
.
On such an evening when the City grit gets into the hair ,
and eyes and skin and when the fallen leaves of the few
,
unhappy City trees grind down in corners under wheels of

wind the schoolmaster and the pupil emerged upon the
,
Le a d e n h a l l Street region Spy i ng eastward for Lizzie Being ,

.
s omething too soon in their arrival they lurked at a corner , ,
waiting for her to appear The best looking amon g us will .

-
not look very well lu rk ing at a corner an d Bradley came

, ,
out of that disadvantage very poorly indeed .
Here she comes Mr Headstone Let us go forward

,
.
and meet her .

”
As they advanced Sh e saw them coming and seemed , ,
rather troubled B ut she greeted her brother with the usual

.
warmth and touched the extended hand of Bradley

, .
“
Why where are you going Charley dear
, she asked , ,
him then .
“
Nowhere We came on purpose to meet you
. .
O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
To meet me Charley
-
Yes We are go i ng to walk with you But don t l e t

. .
’
us take the great leading streets where every one wa lks and ,
’
we can t hear ourselves speak Let us go by the quiet back .
’
ways Here s a large paved court by this chur ch, and quiet
.
,
too Let u s go up here

. .
”
But it s not in the way Charley

’
, .
’’
Yes it is said the boy petulan tly
,
It s in my way
, , .
’
and my way is you rs .
She had not released his hand and stil l holding it looked , , ,
at h i m with a kind of appeal He avoided her eyes u nder .

,
“ ”
pretence of saying Come along Mr Headstone Bradley
, , . .
walked at his side — not at hers — and the brother and sister
,
walked hand in hand The court brought them to a church .
yard ; a paved square court with a raised bank of earth ,
about breast high in the middle enclosed by iron rail s , ,

.
Here conveniently and healthfully elevated above the level

,
of the living were the dead and the tombstones ; some of

, ,
.
the latter droopingly i nclined from t he perpen di cular as if ,
they were ashamed of the l ies they told .
They paced the whole of thi s place once in a constrained ,
and uncomfortable manner when the boy stopped and ,
said
Lizzie Mr Headstone has someth i ng to say to you I
, . .
d on t wish to be an interruption either to h i m or to you and

’
,
so I ll go and take a little stro l l and come back I know in

’
.
a general way what Mr Headstone intends to say and I very .

,
highly approve of it as I hope — an d indeed I do not doubt ,

-
you will I needn t tell you Liz zie that I am under great
.
, ,
obligations t o M r Headstone and that I a m very anxi ous .

,
for Mr Headstone t o succeed in a ll he un dertakes As I hope

. .
— and as indeed I don t doubt — you mu st be ’

.
”
, ,
“
Charley returned h i s Sister detai nin g his hand as he
,
”
,
“
withdrew it I thin k you had better sta y I thi nk Mr
, . .
”
Headstone had better not say what he th i nks of sa yin g .
Why how do you know W hat i t is ?

,
returned the .
Perhaps I don t b u t ’
,
Perhaps you d on t No Li z I Should th i nk not If y ou ’
, ,
.
knew wha t it was you would give me a v e ry d i ffe re n t ,

.
’
answer There let go be sensible I wonder you don t
. . .
”
remember that Mr Headstone is looking on . .
She allowed him to separate himself from her and he , ,

that there are some pe opl e wh o highly esteem me ; that
I have in my way won a station which is considered worth
winning .
”
“
S u rely Mr Headstone I do believe it Surely I have
,
.
, .
al ways known it from Charley .
“
I ask y o u t o believe that if I were to o ffer my home
such as it is my station such as it is my affections such as
, ,
they are to any one of the best considered and best qualified
, , ,
and most distinguished among the young women engaged ,
in my calling they would probably be accepted

,
Even .
readily accepted .
“
I do not doubt it said L izzie with her eyes upon the
, ,
ground .
“
I have sometimes had it in my th ou gh ts t o make that
o ffer and to settle down as many men of my class do : I on
the one Side of a school my wife on the other both O f us , ,
interested in the same work .
“
Why have you not done so ? asked Lizzie He x a m ”
.
Why do y ou not do so ?
“
F ar better that I never did ! The only one grain O f
comfort I have had these many weeks he s aid always ,
”
,
speaking passionately and when mos t emphatic repeating

, , ,
that former action of his hands which was like flinging his ,
heart s blood down before her in drops upon the pavement ;

’
“
stones ; the only one grain of comfort I have had these
many weeks is that I n ever did F or if I had and if the
,
.
,
same spell had come upon me for my ruin I know I should ,

”
have broken that tie asunder as if it had been thread .
She glanced at him with a glan ce of fear and a shrinking ,
gesture He answered as if she had spoken

.
,
“
No ! It would n o t have been voluntary on my part ,
any more than it is voluntary in me to be here now You .
draw me to you If I were shut up in a strong prison you

.
,
would draw me out I should break through the wall to

.
c ome to you If I were lying on a Sick bed you would

.
,
draw me u p —to stagger to your feet and fall there .

”
The wild energy of the man n o w quite let loose was , ,
absolutely terrible He stopped and l aid his hand upon a

.
piece of the coping of the bu r ial ground enclosure as if he -

,
would have d islodged the stone .
No m a n kn ows till the time comes what depths are

within him To some men it never comes let them rest and
.
b e thankful ! To me you brought it on me you forced it

, ,
UND E R A MIGHTY SP E LL 46 7
and the bottom of this raging sea striking himself upon ,
“ ”
the breast has been heaved up ever sin ce
,
.
Mr Headstone I have heard enough Let me stop you

.
,
.
here It will be better for you and better for me Let us

. .
.
”
fin d my brother .
Not yet It S hall and must be spo ken

. I have been in .
torments ever Since I Stopped short of it before You are .
alarmed It is another of my miseries that I cannot speak

.
to you or speak of you without stumbling at every syllable ,
u nless I let the check go altogether and run mad Here is .
a man lighting the lamps He will be gon e directly I . .
entreat of you let us walk round this place again You have .
n o reason to look alarmed ; I can restrain myself and I ,
will.
”
She yielded to the entreaty— how could she d o otherwise ?

and they paced the stones in silen ce On e by one the li g hts .
leaped u p making the cold grey church tower more rem ote
, ,
and they were alone again He said no more until they had .
regained the spot where he had broken o ff there h e again ,
stood still and again grasped the stone In saying what he

,
.
said then h e never looked at her ; but looked at it and

,
wrenched at it .
“
You know what I am going to say I love you What . .
other men may mean when they use that expression I can ,
not tell ; what I mean is that I am u nder the influence of

,
so m e tremendous attraction which I have resisted in vain ,
and whic h overmasters me You could draw me to fire you .

,
could draw me to water , you could draw me to th e gallows ,
you could draw me to any death you could d raw me t o ,
anything I have most avoided yo u could draw me to any ,
exposure and disgrace T h is and the c onfu sion of my

.
thoughts so that I am fit for nothing is what I mean by

, ,
your being the ruin of me But if you would retu rn a .
favourable answer to my o ffer of m yself in m arriage you ,
c ould draw me to any good — every good — with equal force .
My circumstances are quite easy and you would want for ,
nothing My reputation stands quite high and would be a

.
,
shield for yours If you saw me at my work able to do it

.
,
well an d respected in it you might even come to take a

sort of pride in me —I would try hard that you Should
,
Whatever considerations I may have thought of agai nst this

o ffer I have conquered and I make it with all my hea r t
, ,
.
Your brother favours me to the utmost and it is likely tha t ,

we might live an d wor k to ge th e r a nyho w it is certain that
'
he would have my best influence and Suppo rt I don t .

’
know that I could say more if I tried I might only weaken .
what is ill enough said as it is I only add that if it is any .
clai m on you to be in earnest I am in thorough earnest , ,
dreadfu l earne st .
The powdered mortar from u n der the stone at which h e

wrenc h ed rattled o n the pavement to confirm his words
, .
“
Mr Headstone
.
Stop ! I implore you before you answer me to walk , ,
rou n d this place once m ore It will give y ou a minute s time .

’
to think and me a mi n ute s tim e to get some fortitude

,
’
”
together .
Again she yielded to the entreaty and again they came ,
back to the sa me place and again h e worked at the stone ,

.
“
Is it he said with his attention apparently engrossed
, ,
“
by it yes o r no
, ,
“
Mr Hea ds tone I thank you Sincerely I thank you
.
, ,
‘
gratefully and hope you may fi nd a wo rthy wife before long

,
”
an d be very h appy But it is no . .
Is no sh ort time necessary for reflection ; no weeks or

days he asked in the same half su ffocated w ay -
.
None wha tever

,
“ ”
.
Are you quite decided and is there no c h a nce of any ,
change in m y fa v o ri r
“
I a in quite decid ed , Mr Headstone and I am bound to .
,
answer I a m certain there is none .

”
“
Then Said he su ddenly chan ging his tone and turning
,
”
,
to her and b ringing his clenched hand down upon the stone
,
“
with a force that laid the knuckles raw and bleeding then
I hope that I may never kill him
The dark look of hatred an d revenge with which the
word s broke from his livid lips and with which he stood ,
holding out his smeared hand as if it held some weapon and

had j ust str u ck a mortal blow made her so afraid of him ,
that she turned to run away But he caught her by the arm
’
.
.
“
Mr Headstone let me go Mr Headstone I must call
.
,
. .
,
for help
’
“
It is I who should c all for help he said ; you don t ,
know yet h o w mu ch I need it .

”
The working of his face as she shrank from it glancing ,
r o u n d fo r h e r b r o th e r and uncertain what to do might have

‘
, ,
extorted a cry from her in another instant but all at once

Oh yes he i s There you mistake He is mu c h to m e
,
. . .
”
What can he be to you

He can be a rival to me among other things said ,
Bradley .
“
Mr Headstone returned Liz zie wi th a burning face
.
, , ,
it is cowardly in you to speak to me in t hi s way But it .
makes me able to tell you that I do not like you an d that ,
I never have li ked you from the first and that no other ,
living creatu re has anything to do with the effect you have

”
produced upon me for yourself .
His head bent for a moment as if under a weight and h e , ,
then looked up again moistening h is lips I was goin g on

,
.
with the little I had left to say I knew all this about Mr . .
Eugene W r a y b u r n all the wh i le you were drawin g me to

,
you . I strove against the knowledge but quite in vain It ,

.
made no difference in me With Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n in . .
my mind I went on With Mr Eugene W r a yb u r n in my

, . .
mind I spoke to you j ust now With Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n

,
. .
”
in my mind I have been set aside and I have been cast out
,
.
“
If you give those names to my thanking you for your
”
proposal and declining it is it my fault Mr Headstone ? , , .
said Liz z ie compassionating the bitter struggle he could not

,
conceal al most as much as she was repelled and alarmed

,
by it .
“ “
I am not complaining he returned I am only stating , ,
the c ase I had to wrestle with my self respect when I

.
-
submit ted to be drawn to you in spite of Mr W r a y b u r n . .
You may imagine how low my self respect lies now -

.
”
She was hurt and ang r y ; but repressed herself in con

sideration of his su ffering and of his being her brothe r s ,
’
friend .
“
'
And it lie s under his feet said Bradley u nfolding his , ,
hands in Spite of himself an d fiercely motioning with them ,
both towards the stones (hf the pavement Remember .
’
that ! It lies under that fellow s feet and he treads upon ,
it and exults above it .
“
He does not ! said Liz zie ”
.
”
He d oes ! said Bradley I h ave stood before him .
face to face and he crushed me down in the dirt of his con

,
tempt and walked over m e Why

,
B ecause he knew with .
”
triumph what was in store for me to night -
.
“
Oh Mr Headstone you talk quite wildly
, .
, .
Quite collecte dly I know what I say too well Now

. .
A NIC E P ICTUR E OF A SI STE R ! 47 1
I have said all I have used no threat remember ; I have
.
,
d one no more than S how you how the case stands — h ow

the case sta n ds so far , .
At this moment her brother sauntered into view close by .
She darted to him and caught him by th e han d Bradley ,

.
followed a n d laid his heavy hand on the boy s Opposite

,
’
sh oulder .
“
Charley He x a m I am going h ome I must walk home ,
.
by myself to night an d get shut up in my room without

-
,
being spoken to Give me half an h ou r s start an d l e t me

.
’
be till you find me at my work in th e mornin g I shall be .
”
at my work in the mornin g just as u sual .
Claspin g his hands he uttered a short unearthly broken ,
cry and went his way Th e brother and sister were left
,
.
l ooki ng at one another near a lamp in the solitary church

yard and the boy s face clouded and darkened as he said in
,
’
,
“
a rough tone : What is the m eaning of this W h at have
you d one to my best frien d Out with the truth !
“
Charley ! said h i s sister Speak a little m ore con
”
.
s i d e r a te l y
I am not i n the humour for consideration or for nonsense ,

”“
of any sort replied the boy, What have you been doing ? .
Why has Mr Headstone gone from us in that way

.
He asked me— you know he asked me— to be his wife

Charley .
”
“
Well ? said the boy impatiently ,
.
And I was obliged to te ll him that I co u ld not be

his wife .
“
You were obliged to tell him repeated the boy angrily ,
“
between his teeth a n d rudely pu shing her away You
,
.
were obliged to tell him ! Do you know that he is worth

fifty of you
“
It may easily be so Charley but I cannot marry him , ,
.
’
You mean that you are conscious that you can t a pp r e
ciate h i m and don t deserve him I suppose
,
’
,
“
I mean that I do not like him Charley and that I w i ll , ,
”
never marry him .
“
Upon my soul exclaimed the boy you are a nice pic , ,
ture of a sister ! Upon my soul you are a pretty piece of ,
disinterestedness ! And so all my endeavours to cancel the

past and to raise myself in the world and to raise you with ,
me are to be beaten down by y ou r low whims are they

,
I will not reproach you Charley ,

.
”
72 O UR MUTU AL F RI END
Hear her ! exclaimed the boy looking round at th e
”
,
darkness She won t reproach me ! She does her best to

.
’
’
destroy my fortunes and her own and she won t reproac h ,
me ! Why you ll tell me next that you won t reproach

,
’
, ,
’
Mr Headstone for c oming out of the sphere to which he is

.
an ornament and putting himself at you r feet to be rejected

, ,
by you
NO Charley I will only tell you as I tol d himself that
-
, , ,
I thank him for doing so that I am sorry he did so and , ,

”
that I hope he will do mu ch better and be happy ,
.
Some touch of compu nction smote the b oy s hardening ’
heart as he looked upon h e r h i s patient little nu rse in i n ,

.
fancy his patient friend adviser and reclaimer in boyhood

, , , ,
the self forgetting sister who had done everything for him
-
.
His tone relented and he drew her ar m through his

,
.
“
Now come L iz ; don t let us quarrel : let u s be reason
,
’
able and talk this over l i ke brother and sister Will you .
listen to me
“
Oh Charley ! she replied through her starting tears ;
,
”
do I not listen to you and hear many hard things ,

“
Then I am sorry There Liz I am unfeignedly sorry . .
Only you do put me out so No w see Mr Headstone is

,
. . .
perfectly devoted to you He has to ld me in the strongest .
manner that he has never been h i s ol d self for one single

minute Since I first brought him to see you Miss Beecher .
,
our schoolmistress— pretty and you ng and all that — is ,

’
known to be very much attache d to him and he won t SO ,
much as look at her or hear of her Now his devotion to .
you must be a disinterested o ne mustn t it ? If he married ,

’
Miss P e e c h e r he would be a great deal better off in all

,
worldly respects th a n in marr y i ng you Well then ; he .
has nothing to get by it has he ,
Nothi ng Heaven knows ,

“ ’
Very well then said the boy ; that s something in his
,
”
favou r and a great thing Then I come in Mr Headstone

,
. . .
has always got me on and he has a good deal in his power , ,

’
and of course if he was my brother i n law he woul dn t get - -
me on less but would get me on more

,
Mr Headstone . .
comes and confides in me in a very delicate way and says , , ,

‘
I hope my marrying you r sister would be agreeable to you ,
He xa m and usefu l to you ? I say There s nothing in the

, ,
’
’
world Mr Headstone that I could be better pleased with
,
.
,
.
‘
Mr Headstone says Then I may rely upon your intimate
.
,
And this girl cried th e boy contemptuously throwing , ,
”
her O ff again calls herself a sister !,
Charley dear that is the se cond time that yo u have

, , .
almost struck me Don t be hurt by; my words I don t .

’
.
’
mean — Heaven forbid —that you intended it but you hardly

kno w with what a s udden swing you removed yourself from
”
me .
“ ”
However ! said the boy taking no hee d of the r emon ,
“
strance and pursuin g his own mortified disappointment
,
I ,
know what this means; and you shall n ot disgrace me

“
It means what I have told y ou Charley and noth ing , ,
more .
"
That s not true said the b oy in a violent tone

’
, ,
you know it s not It means your precious Mr W r a yb u r n

’
. .
that s what it means

’
.
Charley If you remember any Ol d days of ours together ,
forbear
“
But you shall not disgrace me doggedly pursued the ,
“
boy . I a m determine d that after I have climbed up out of
'
the mire you shall not pull me down You can t disgrace
,
.
’
me if I have nothing to do with you and I wi ll have nothing ,
to d o with you for the future .
Charley ! On many a night like this and many a worse ,
night I have sat o n the stones of the street hushing you in

, ,
my arms Unsay th ose words without even sayi ng you are

.
sorry for them and my arms are open to you still and so is
, ,
my heart .
“
I ll not unsay them I ll say them again You are an
’
.
’
.
inveterately bad girl and a false S ister and I have done with , ,
you . F or ever I have d On e with you ,
He thre w up his ungrat eful and u n gr a c ro u s hand as if it

set up a barrier between them and flu n g himself upon his ,
-
heel and left her She remained impassive on the same Spot
. ,
silent and motionless until the striking of the church clock ,
roused her and Sh e turned away But then with the break
,
.
,
ing up of her immob ility came the breaking up of the waters

“
that the cold heart of the selfish boy had frozen And Oh .
,
“ ”
that I were lying here with the dead ! an d Oh Charley , ,
Charley that this should be the end of our pictures in the

,
fir e . were all the words she said as she laid her face 1 n her ,
h ands on the stone coping .
A fig u re passed by and passed on but stopped and looked , ,
round at her It was the figure of an old man with a bowed

.
The Jew lifted up his eyes and took in Eugene once more, ,
at another glance .
Mr W r a y b u r n pray pray leave me with this protector

.
, ,
. .
An d one thing more Pray pray be careful of yourself .

,
.
”
“
Mysteries O f Ud ol ph o ! said Eugene with a look of ”
,
“
wonder May I be excu sed for asking in this elderly
.
,
’
gentleman s presence who is this kind protector ? ,
“
A tru stworthy Lizzie .
“ ”
I will relieve him of his trust returned Eugene But ,
.
you must tell me Lizzie what is the matter ? , ,

”
Her brother is the matter said the old man lifting up , ,
his eyes agai n .
“
Our brother the matter ? returned Eugene with airy ”
,
“
contempt O u r brother is not worth a thought , far less a
.
tear What has our brother done

.
The old man li fted up his eyes again with one grave l ook ,
at W r a yb u r n and one grave glance at Lizzie as she stood

, ,
looki ng down Both were so full of meaning that even

.
,
Eugene was checked in his light career and subsided into a ,
thoughtful Humph
With an air of perfect patience the old man remaining ,
mute and keeping his eyes cast down stood retaini ng Lizzie s , ,
’
arm as though in his habit of passive endurance it would

, , ,
be all one to him if he had s too d there motionless all night .
“
If Mr Aaron said Eugene who soon found thi s
.
, ,
fatiguing will be good enough to relinquish his charge to

,
m e he will be quite free for any engagement he may have at

,
”
the Synagogue Mr Aaron will you have the kindness ?
. .
,
But the O l d man stood stock still .
Good evening Mr Aaron said Eugene politely ; we ,

.
, ,
“
need not detain you Then turning to Lizzie Is our .
,
friend M r Aaron a little deaf ?

.
“
My hearing is very good Christian gentleman replied , ,
“
the old man calmly ; but I will hear only one voice to
,
night desiring me to leave this damsel before I h ave con

v e ye d her to her home If Sh e requests it I will do it I .
,
.
will do it for n o one else .
May I ask why so Mr Aaron ? said Eugene quite ,

. .
”
,
undisturbed in his ea se
’
Excuse me If she asks me I wil l tell her replied the

.
,
“
old man I will tell no one else
. .
”
I do not ask you said Lizzie and I beg you to take ,

”
,
me home Mr W r a y b u r n I have had a bitter tri a l to night

. .
,
-
,
’
LI z e s ES O C RT 47 9
and I hope you will no t think me u ngrateful or mysteriou s , ,
or changeable I am neither ; I am wretched Pray r e

. .
member wha t I said to you Pray pray take care .

,
.
“
My dear Liz zie he returned in a low voice ben d ing
,
”
, ,
over her on the other side of what of whom

Of any one you have lately seen and made angry .
He snapped his fingers and laughed said he .

,
Since no better may be Mr Aaron and I will divide this ,

.
trust and see you home together Mr Aaron on that side ;

,
. .
I on this If perfectly agreeable to Mr Aaron the escort

. .
,
”
wil l n ow proceed .
He knew his power over her He knew that she w ould not .
insist upon his l eav i ng her He knew that her fears for him .
,
being aroused she would be uneasy if h e were out of her

,
S ight .F or all his seeming levity and carelessness h e knew ,
whatever he chose to know of the thoughts of her heart .
And going on at her Side S O gaily regardless of all that ,
had been urged against him ; so superior in his sallies and

self possession to the gl oomy constraint of her suitor a n d
-
,
the selfish petulance of her brother ; S O faithful to her as it ,
seemed when her own stock was faithless what an immen se

,
advantage what an overpowering infl u ence were his th at

,
night ! Add to the rest poor girl that s h e had heard him , ,
vilified for her sake and that she had su ffered for his and
, ,
where the wonder that his o ccasional tones of seriou s interest

(sett i ng off his carelessness as if it were assumed to calm her) , ,
that his lightest touch his lightest look his very presence , ,
beside her in the dark common street were like glimpses of ,
an enchanted world which it was natural for j eal ou sy and

,
malice and all meanness to be unable to bear the brightness

of and to gird at as bad Spirits might !
,
Nothing more being said of repairing to Ri a h s they went ’
direct to Lizzie s lodging A little short of the house door

’
she parted from them and went in alone ,

.
“
Mr Aaron s a id Eugene w h en they were left together in
.
,
”
,
“
the street with many thanks for your company it rema i ns
, ,
for me u nwillingly to say F arewell .

”
“ “
Sir returned the other
,
”
I give you good night and I , ,
”
wish that you were not so thoughtless .
“ “
Mr Aaron retu rned Eugene
.
,
”
I give yo u good night , ,
and I wish (for you are a little dull ) that you were n ot so
thoughtful .
”
But now that his part was played out for the evening and ,
when in turning his back upon the Jew he came o ff the stage ,
he was thoughtful himself . How did Lightwood s catechism

’
r un ?
”
he murmured as he stopped to light his cigar
, .
“
What is to come of it ? What are you doing ? Where
are you going ? We Shall soon know n o w Ah ! with a
.
”
heavy Sigh .
The heavy s i gh wa s repeated as if by an echo an hour

, ,
afterwards when Riah who had been Sitting on some dark

, ,
steps in a corner over against the house arose and went his
,
patient way stealing through the streets in his ancient dress ,
like the ghost of a departed Time .

It is the first anniversa r y of the happy marriage of Mr .
and Mrs La m m l e and the celebratio n is a breakfast becau s e

.
, ,
a dinner on the desired scale of sumptuosity cannot be

achieved within less limits than those of the non existent -
palatial residence of wh ich so many people are madly envious .
SO T wemlow trips with not a little sti ffness across Piccadilly ,
sensible of having once been more upright in figure and less

in danger of being knocked down by swift vehicles To be .
sure that was in the days when he hoped for leave from the
dread Sn i gs wor th to do something or be something in life , , ,
and before that magnificent Tartar issued the ukase As h e ,
will never distinguish himself he nr u s t be a poor gentle ,
man pensioner of mine and let him hereby consider himself

-
,
”
pensioned .
Ah my T wemlow Say little feeble grey personage what , ,
thoughts are in thy breast to d ay of the F ancy— s o still to ,
call her who bruised thy heart when it was green and thy
head brown — and whether it be bette r or worse more painful ,
or less to believe in the F ancy to this hour than to know her

, ,
for a greedy armour plated croco dile with no more capacity

-
of imagining the delicate and sensitive and tender spot

behind thy waistcoat than of going straight at it with a
,
knitting needle Say likewise my T wemlow whether it be

-
.
, ,
the happier lot to be a poor relation of the great or to stand ,
in the wintry slush gi ving the hack horses to d rink out of

the shallow tub at the coach stand into which thou h ast SO -
,
nearly set thy uncerta in foot Twemlow says n othing and .

,
goes on .
As he approaches the La m m l e s door d rives up a little ’
,
.
one horse carriage containing Tippins the divine ; Tippins

-
, ,
letting d ow n the window playfully extols the vigilance of ,
her cavalier in being in waiting there to han d her ou t .
Twemlow hands her out with as much polite gravity as if

she were anything real and they proceed upstairs : Tippins
,
all abroad about the legs and seeking to express that ,
those unsteady articles are only skipping in their native

buoyancy
And dear Mrs La m m l e and dear MI La m m l e how do you
.
. .
,
do and when are you going down to what s its name pl a ce ’

- -
Guy Earl of Warwick you know —what is it — Dun Cow

,
, ,
to claim the fli tc h O f bacon And Mortimer whose name ,
is for ever blotted out fro m my list of lovers by reason first ,
of fic kl e n e s s and then of base desertion how do you do , ,

A F ESTIV E G ATH ERING 8
4 3
wretch ? And Mr W r a y b u r n y ou here ! What can y ou
.
,
come for because we are all very sure beforehand that you
,
are not going to talk And Veneering M P how are things ,

. .
,
going on down at the House a n d when will you tu rn out ,
those terrible people for u s And Mrs Veneering my dear .

, ,
can it positively be true that you go down to that stifling

place night after night to hear those men prose Talking
’
of which Veneering why don t y ou prose for y o u haven t
, , ,
’
opened your lips there yet and we are dying to hear what ,
you have got to say to us ! Miss Podsnap charmed to see ,
you . Pa here ? No ! Ma neither

,
Oh ! Mr Boots ,
.
Delighted Mr Brewer ! This i s a gatherin g of the clans

. . .
Thu s Tippins and surveys Fl e d ge b y and outsiders through

,
golden glass murmuring as she turns about and a bout in

, ,
her innocent giddy way Anybody else I know No I think , ,
not. Nobody there Nobody ther e Nobody anywhere ! . .
Mr La m m l e all a glitter produces his friend Fl e d ge b y

.
,
-
, ,
as dying for the hon our of presentation to Lady Tippins .
Fl e d g e b y presented has the air of going to say something

, ,
has the air of going to say noth ing has an air successively of ,
meditation of resignation and of desolation backs on B rewer

, , , ,
makes the tour of B oots and fades i nto the extreme back ,
ground feeling for his whisker as if it might have turned

, ,
up since he was there five minutes ago .
But La m m l e has him out again before ~ he has so much as

completely ascertained the bareness of the land He would .
seem to be in a bad way Fl e d ge b y for La m m l e represents ,
h im as dying again He is dying now of want of presenta .
tion to Twemlow .
Twemlow O ffers his han d Glad to see him . .
mother sir was a connexion of mine

, ,
.
“
I believe so says Fl e d g e b y “
but my mother and her
,
”
,
family were two .
“
Are you stay i ng in town asks Twemlow .
I always am says Fle d ge b y ,

”
.
You like town says Twemlow But is fell ed flat by ,

”
.
Fl e d g e b y s tak ing it quite ill and replying No he don t like

’
, , ,
’
town La m m l e tries to break the force of the fal l by remark

.
,
ing that some people do not like town Fl e d ge b y retorting .
that he never heard of any such case but his own Twemlow ,
goes down agai n heavily .
“
There is nothing new this morning I suppose says ,
Twemlow returning to the mark with great spirit

, .
8
Fl e d ge b y h as not heard of anything .
No there s not a word of news says La m m l e

’ ”
I
.
, ,
Not a particle adds Boots , .
Not an atom chimes in B rewer ,

”
.
Somehow the execution of this little concerted piece appears

to ra ise the general spirits as with a sense of duty done and ,
sets the company a going Everybody seems more equal than -

.
before to the calamity of being in the society of everybody

else Even Eugene standing in a window moodily swingin g
.
,
the tassel of a blind gives it a smarter j erk now as if he , ,
found himself in better case .
Breakfas t announced Everyt hing o n table showy and .
gaudy but with a self assertingly temporary and nomadic air

,
-
on the decorations as boasting that they will be much more ,
showy and gau dy in the palatia l residence Mr La m m l e s . .

’
o wn particular servant behin d his chair ; the Analytical

’
behind Veneering s chair instances in point that such
servants fall into two classes : one mistrusting the maste r s ’
acquaintances and the other m i strusting the master Mr

, . .
La m m l e s servant of the second class Appearin g to be lost

’
.
,
in wonder and low spirits because the police are so long in

coming to take his master up on some charge of the first
“
magnitude
Veneeri ng M P on the right of Mrs La m m l e Twemlow
on her left ; Mrs Veneering W MP (wife of Member O f
.
,
. .
,
. . . .
,
Parl iament ) and L ady Tippins on Mr La m m l e s right and

,
.
’
left Bu t be sure that well within the fascination of Mr

. .
La m m l e s eye and smile sits little Georgiana And be sure

’
.
that close to little Georgian a also under inspection by the

same gingerous gentleman sits Fl e d ge b y ,
.
Oftener tha n twice or thrice while breakfast is I n progress ,
Mr Twemlow gives a little su dden t urn towards Mrs

. .
“
La m m l e and then says to her Th i s ”
,
I be g your pardon l ,
not being Twe m l ow s usual way why is it his way to day ? ’
,
-
Why the truth is Twemlow repeatedly labours un der the

, ,
impression that Mrs La m m l e is going to speak to him and .

,
turning finds that it is not so and mostly that she has her
, ,
eyes upon Venee ring Strange that this impression so abides .
by Twemlow after being corrected yet so it is ,

.
Lady Tippins partak i ng plentifully o f the fr uits of the

earth (includ i ng grape j uice in the cate gory) be comes livelier , ,
and applies herself to elicit sparks from Mortimer Lightwood .
It is always u nderstood among the initiated that that faith ,

48 6 OUR MUTU AL FRI END
’
It s like ,
impatiently interrupts Eugene, the childre n s ’
n arrative
‘I ’l l te ll ry
y ou a s to
Of Ja c k
a M a n o ry ,
An d n o w m y s tor y s b e gu n ; ’
I l l te ll y ou a n o th e r
’
O f J a c k a n d h i s b ro th er ,
An d n o w m y s tory i s d on e .
’
Get on and get it over ,
Eugene says this with a sound of vexation in his voice ,
leaning back in his chair and looking balefu lly at Lady

Tippins who nods to him as her dear Bear and playfull y
, ,
insinuates that Sh e (a self evident proposition) is B eauty and -

,
he Beast .
‘
The reference proceeds Mortimer which I suppose to
, ,
be made by my honourabl e and fair enslaver opposite is t o ,
the following circumstance Very lately the young woman

Lizzie He xa m daughte r of the late Jesse He x a m otherwi se
.
, ,
, ,
Gaffer who will be remembered to have found the body of

,
the man from somewhere mysteriously received she knew , ,
not fro m whom an explicit retractation of the charges

,
made against her father by another waterside character of

the name of Riderhood Nobody believed them because
little Rogue Riderhood —I am tempted into the paraphrase
.
,
by remembering the charming wolf who would have rendered

society a great service if he had devoured Mr Riderhood s .
’
father and mother in their infancy — had previously played

fast and loose with the said charges and in fact abandoned , , ,
them However the retractation I have mentioned foun d

.
,
its way into Lizzie He x a m s hands with a general flavou r ’
on it of having been favoured by some anonymous mes

senger in a dark cloak and slouched hat and was by her ,
forwarded in her father s vindication to Mr Bo ffin my

,
’
,
.
,
client You will excuse the phraseology of the Sh Op but as

.
,
I never had another client and in all likelihood never shall ,
have I am rather prou d of him as a natural curiosity

,
probably uniqu e ”
Although as easy as u sual on the surface Lightwood is ,
n o t quite as easy as u sual below it With an air of not .
minding Eugene at all he feels that the subj ect is not ,
altogether a safe one in that connexion .
“
The natural cu riosity which forms the sole ornament of
“
my professional museum h e resumes hereupon desires ,
”
,
G EN E RAL FAILUR E 8
4 7
his Secretar y — a n individual of the hermit crab or oyste r
species and whose name I think is Ch ok e s m i th — but it , ,
d oesn t in the least matter s a y Artichoke— to put himself

,
’
in communication with Lizzie He xa m Artichoke professes .
”
his readiness so to do endeavours to do so but fails
, ,
.
‘
Why fails asks B oots .
How fails asks Brewer .
“
Pardon me returns Lightwoo d ,
I mu st postpone the ,
reply for one moment or we shall have an anti climax ,

-
.
Ar tichoke failing signally my client refers th e task to me ,
his purpose being to advance the interests of the obj ect of h i s

search I proceed to put m yself in communication with her
.
”
I even happen to possess some special means with a glance ,
at Eugene of putting m y self in communication with her

“
, ,
”
but I fail too because she has vanished
, .
Vanished is the general echo

D i sappeared says Mortimer ,Nobody knows how
”
.
,
nobody knows when nobody knows where And so ends ,

.
the story to which m y honourable and fair enslaver opposite

referred .
Tippins with a bewitching little scream opines that we

, ,
shall every one of u s be murdered in our beds E u gene .
eyes her as if some of u s would be eno u gh for him Mrs . .
Veneering remarks that these social mysterie s

make one afraid of leaving Baby Ven e ering MP wishes
,
. . .
, ,
to be informed (with something of a second hand air of -
seeing the Right Honourable Gentleman at th e head of the

Home Department in his place ) whether it is intended to be
conveyed that the vanished person has been Spirited away
’
or otherwise harmed Instead of Lightwood s answering ,
Eugene answers and answers hastily and vexedly : No no,

, ,
no : he doesn t mean that he means voluntarily vanished

’
but utterly— completely .
However the great subject of the happiness of Mr and

,
.
Mrs La m m le must not be allowed to vanish with the other

.
vanishments — with the vanishing of the murderer the vanish ,
ing of Julius Handford th e vanishing of Lizzie He xa m , ,
and therefore Veneering must recall the present Sheep to the

pen from which they have strayed Who so fit to di s course .
of the happiness of Mr and Mrs La m m le they bei n g the. .

,
dearest and oldest friends he has in the world ; or what

audience so fit for him to take into his co n fidence as that
audience a noun of multitude or signifying m any i t ho a r e
, , ,
all the oldest and dearest friends he has in the world SO
Veneering without the formali ty of rising launches i nto a
, ,
familiar oration graduall y toning into the parliamentary

,
S in g song
-
in which he sees at that board his dear friend
,
Twemlow who o n that day twelvemonth bestowed o n hi s

,
dear friend La m m l e the fair hand of h is dear friend Sophronia ,
and in which he also s e es at that board his dear friends Boots

and B rewer whose rallying round hi m at a period when his
dear frien d Lady Tippins likewise rallied round h i m —aye and
,
in the forem ost rank — h e can never forget w hil e memory

,
holds her seat But he is free to confess that he misses from

.
that board his dear ol d fr iend Podsnap though he is well ,
represented by his dear you ng friend Georgian a And he .
further sees at that board (this he announces wi th pomp as ,
i f exulting in the powers of an extraordinary telescope) his

friend Mr Fl e d g e b y if he wil l permi t him to call h i m so
.
, .
F or all of these reasons and many more which b e right well

,
knows will have occurred to perso ns of your exceptional

acute ness he is here to submit to you that the time has
,
arrived when with our hearts in ou r g l a s s e s wi th tears in

, , _
ou r eyes with blessings on ou r lips and in a general way

, ,
with a profusion of gammon and Spinach i n our emotional

larders we should one and all d rink to our dear friends the
,
La m m l e s wishing them many many years as happy as the

,
last and many many friends as congeni ally uni ted as them
,
selves .And thi s he will add : that An a s ta ti a Veneeri ng

(who is instantly heard to weep) is formed on the s ame model
as her old and chosen friend Sophronia La m m l e in respect ,
that Sh e is devoted to the man who wooed and won her and ,
nobly discharges the duties of a wi fe .
Seeing no better way out of it Veneerin g nere pulls up ,
his orato rical Pega sus extremely short and plumps down ,
clean over his head with : La m m l e God bless you !

, ,
Then La m m l e Too much of him every way pervadingly

.
too much nose of a coarse wro n g shape and his nose in his ,
mind and h is manners too much smil e to be real too much

frown to be false too many large teeth to be visible at once
without suggesting a bite He thanks you dear friends for .
, ,
your k i ndly greeting and hopes to receive you — i t may be on

the next O f these delightful occasions — i n a residence bette r
,
suited to your claims on the rites of hospitali ty He will .
’
never forget that at Veneering s he first saw Sophronia .
Sophronia will never forget that at Veneeri ng s Sh e first saw

’
to taking an observation of Boots s whiskers Brewer s ’
,
’
whiskers and La m m l e s whiskers and considering which

,
’
pattern of whisker he would prefer to produce out O f hi mself

by friction if the Genie of the cheek would only answer to
,
his rubbing .
In the drawing room groups form as usual Lightwood -

, .
,
Boots and Brewer flutter like moths around that yellow

, ,
wax candle —guttering down and with some hint of a wind ,
ing sheet in i t— L ady Tippins O u ts id e r s cultivate Veneering

MP and Mrs Veneering W MP La m m l e stands with
.
,
. . . . .
, , .
folded arms Mephistophelean in a corner with Georgiana

, ,
and Fl e d g e b y Mrs La m m l e on a sofa by a table invites

. .
, ,
Mr Twe m l o w s attention to a book of portraits in her hand

.
’
.
Mr Twemlow takes his station on a settee before her an d

.
,
Mrs La m m l e shows him a portrait

. .
“ “
You have reason to be surprised she says softly but , ,
I wish you wouldn t l ook so ’

.
”
Disturbed Twemlow making an e ffort not to look so looks , ,
much more so .
“
I th ink Mr Twemlow you never saw that distant con
,
.
,
n e xi o n of yours before to d ay
No never ,
.
”
Now that you do see him you see what he is You are , .
not prou d of him

T o say the truth Mrs La m m l e no ,
.
, .
If you knew more of him you would be less inclined to ,
acknowledge him Here is another portrait What do y ou . .
think of it ?
Twemlow has just presence of mind enough to say aloud
Very like Uncommonly like
“
You have noticed perhaps whom he favours with his , ,
attentions You notice where he is n ow and how e n ,
gaged
“
Yes But Mr La m m l e
. .
She darts a look at him which he cannot comprehend and ,
shows him another portrait .
“
Very good is it not
Charming says Twemlow
So lik e as to be almost a caricature —Mr Twemlow it
.
.
,
is impossible to tell you what the struggle in my mind has

been before I could bring myself to spe ak to you as I do n o w .
It is only in the conviction that I may trust you never to

betray me that I can proceed Sincerely promise me that
, .
A S TRANG E TRU ST
TW E ML O W 491 FO R
you never will betray my c o n fid e n c e — that y o u will respect

it even though you may no longer respect me —
,
an d I shall ,
”
be as satisfied as if you had sworn it .
“
Madam on the honou r of a poor gentleman
,
Thank you I can desire no more Mr Twemlow I

. . .
,
”
implore you to save that child !
That chil d
Georgiana She will be sacrificed She will be inveigled
. .
and married to that connexion of yours It is a part n ership .
affair a money speculation She has no strength of wi ll or

,
.
character to h elp hersel f and she is on the brink of being ,

”
sold i nto wretchedness for life .
Amazing ! But what can I do to prevent it ? demands

Twemlow shocked and bewildered to the last degree
, .
“
Here is another portrait And not good is it .
,
Aghast at the light manner of her throw in g her head b a ck

to look at it critically Twemlow still dimly perceives th e ,
expediency of throwing his own head back and does s o , .
Though he no more sees the portrait than if it were in

China .
“
Decidedly not good says Mrs La m m l e Stiff and ,
. .
exaggerated
“
And ex But Twemlow I n h i s demolished state , ,
cann ot command the word and trails o ff into a c tl y ,

”
so.
Mr Twemlow your word will have weight with her

.
,
pompous sel f blin ded father

,
You know how much he
-
.
makes of your family Lose no t i me Warn him . . .

”
But warn him against whom

”
Against me .
By great good fortune Tweml ow receives a stimulant at

this critical instant The stimulant is La m m le s voice .
’
.
Sophronia my dear what portraits are you showin g

, ,
Twemlow
“
Public characte rs Al fred ,
.
Show him the last of me .
Yes Alfr ed ,
.
She puts the book down takes another book up turns the , ,
leaves and presents the portrait to Twemlow

,
.
“
That is th e last of Mr La m m l e Do you think it good . .
-
Warn her father against me I deserve it for I have been .
,
in the scheme from the firs t It is my husband s scheme .

’
your connexion s and mine I tell you this only to S how

’
,
.
,
you the necessity of the poor little foolish a ffectionate crea , ,
ture s being befriended and rescued You will not repeat

’
.
this to her father You will spare me so far and spare my

. .
,
husband F or th ough this celebration of to day is all a -
mockery he is my h u sband and we must liv e —Do you

.
, ,
think it l i ke
Twemlow in a stunned co n dition feigns to compare the
, ,
portrait in his hand with the original looking towards him ,
from his Mephistophelean corner .
Ve r y well indeed are at length the words which

Twemlow wi th great d ifli c u l ty extracts from himself .
“
I am glad you think so O n the whole I myself con .
,
sider it the best The othe rs are so dark NOW here for
. .
,
instance is another of Mr La m m l e
, .
“ ’
But I don t understand I don t see my way Twemlow
’
stammers a s he falters over the book with his glass at his

,
eye How warn her father and not tell him Tell h i m
I —I —a m getting lost
.
,
”
how much Tell him how little .
“
Tell him I am a match maker tell him I am an artful -
and designing woman tell h i m you are su re his daughter is

best out of my hou se and my company Tell him any such .
things of me they will all be true You know what a puffed .
up man he is and how easily you can cause his vanity to take
,
the alarm Tell him as much as will give him the alarm and
.
make him careful of her and Spare me the rest Mr Twe m ,

. .
low I feel my sudden degradation i n you r eyes familiar as

,
I am with my degradation in my own eyes I keenly feel the ,
change that must have come upo n me in yours in these last ,
few moments But I tru st to your good faith with me as

.
implicitly as when I began If you knew how often I have .
t r ied to speak to you to day yo u would almost pity me I -

, .
want no new promise from you on my own account for I am ,
satisfied and I always shall be satisfied with the promise you

, ,
have given me I can venture to say no more for I see that

.
,
I am watched If y o u will set my mind at rest with the

.
assurance that you will inte r pose with the father and save
this harmless girl close that book before you return it to me
and I shall know what you mean and deeply thank you i ri
, ,
my heart — Alfred Mr Twemlow th i nks the last one the

.
,
.
best and qu ite agrees with you and me

,
.
”
Al fred advances The groups break up Lady Tipp i ns . .
rises to go and Mrs Veneering follows her leader F or the

,
. .
moment Mrs La m m le does not turn to them but remains

, .
,
BO O K THE T HI RD . A LO N G LAN E
C HA P T ER I
L ODGERS IN Q U EER STR E E T
I T was a foggy day in London and the fog was heavy and ,
dark Animate London with smarting eyes and irritated

.
,
lungs was blinking wheezing and choking ; inanimate

, , ,
London was a sooty spectre divided in purpose betwee n ,
being visible and invisible and SO being wholly neither , .
Gaslights flared in the shops with a haggard and u nblest ,
air as knowing themselves to be night creatures that had

,
-
no business abroad under the sun ; while the sun itself ,
when it was for a fe w moments dimly indicated through

circling eddies of fog showed as if it had gone out and were
, ,
collapsing flat and cold Even in the surrounding country

.
it was a foggy day but there the fog was grey whereas in
, ,
London it was at about the boundary line dark yellow

, , ,
and a little within it brown and then browner and then , ,
browner until at the heart of the City— which call Sai nt

,
Mary Axe — i t was rusty black F rom any point of the high
-
.
ridge of land northward it might have been discerned that

,
the loftiest buildings made an occasional struggle to get

their heads above the foggy sea and espe cially that the ,
great dome of Saint Paul s seemed to die hard ; bu t this ’
was not perceivable in the streets at their feet where the ,
whole metropolis was a heap of vapour charged with mu ffled

sound of wheels and enfolding a gigantic catarrh
,
.
At nine o clock on such a morning the place of business

’
of P u b s e y and Co was not the liveliest obj ect even in Saint

.
Ma ry Axe — which is not a very lively spot— with a sobbing

gaslight in the counting hou se window and a burglarious
-
,
stream of fog creeping in to strangle it through the keyhole

of the main door But the light went out and the main
.
,
door opened and Riah came forth with a bag under his
,
arm .
’
MR . FLEDG E BY S CH AM B E R S 495
Almost in the act of comi n g out at the door Riah went ,
into the fog and was lost to the eyes of Saint Mary Axe
, .
But the eyes of this history can follow him westward by ,
Cornhil l Cheapside F leet Street and the Strand to Picca

, , , ,
d illy and the Albany Thither he went at his grave and

.
measured pace staff in hand skirt at heel ; and more than

, ,
one head turning to look back at his venerable figure

,
already lost i n the mist supposed it to be some ordinary ,
figure indistinctly seen which fancy an d the fog had worked ,
into that passing likeness .
’
Arrived at the house in which his master s chambers were
on th e second floor, Riah proceeded up the stairs and ,
paused at F ascination Fl e d ge b y s do or Making free with ’

.
neither bell nor knocker he struck upon the door with the ,
top of his staff and h aving listened sat down on the

, , ,
threshold It was characteristic of his habitual submission

.
,
th at he sat down on the raw dark staircase as many of his ,
ancestors had probably sat down in dungeons taking what ,
befell him as it might befall .
After a time when he had grown so cold as to be fain to

,
blow upon his fingers he arose and knocked with his staff ,
again ,
and listened again and again sat d o wn to wait , .
Thrice h e repeated these actio ns before his listening ears

were greeted by the voice of Fl e d ge b y cal ling from his bed , ,
“
Hold your row — I ll come and open the door directly !
’ ”
But in lieu of coming directly he fell into a sweet sleep

, ,
for some quarter of an hour more during which added ,
interval Riah sat up on the Stairs and waited with perfect

patience .
At length the door stood open and Mr Fl e d g e b y s r e , .

’
treating drapery plunged into bed again F ollowing it a t .
a respectful distance Riah passed into the bed chamber

,
-
,
where a fire had been some time lighted and was burning ,
briskly .
“ ”
Why what time of n ight do you mean to call it ?
,
inquired Fle d ge b y turning away beneath the clothes and

, ,
presenting a comfortable rampart of shoulder to the chilled

figure of the old man .
Sir it is full half past ten in the morning

,
-
.
The deu ce it is Then it mu st be preciou s foggy

Very foggy sir ,
.
And raw then ? ,

”
Chill and bitter said Riah drawing out a handkerchief

, , ,
and wiping the moist u re from his beard and long grey hair
as he stoo d on the verge of the rug with his eyes on the ,
acceptable fire .
With a plunge of enj oyment Fl e d geb y settled hi msel f ,
afresh .
“
Any snow or sleet or slush or anything of that sort ?
, , ,
he asked .
“
No s ir no Not quite so bad as that The stree ts are
, , . .
”
pretty clean .
“
You needn t brag about it return ed Fle d g e b y d i s
’
, ,
appointed in hi s des i re to heighten the c ontras t between his

“
bed and the streets But you re always bragging about .
’
something Got the books there .
“
They are here sir , .
”
All right I ll turn the general subj ect over in my

.
’
mind for a minute or two and while I m about it you can ,

’
empty your bag and get ready for me .
With another comfortable plunge Mr Fl e d ge b y fell asleep , .
again The old man having obeyed his directions sat down
.
, ,
on the edge of a chair and folding hi s hands before hi m , , ,
gradually yielded to the influence of the warmth and dozed ,

.
He was roused by Mr Fl e d g e b y s appearing erect at the .

’
foot of the bed in Turkish sli ppers rose coloured Tur kish
, ,
-
trousers (got cheap from somebody who had cheated some

other somebody out of them) and a gown an d cap t o corre ,
s p on d .In that costume h e would have left nothing to be

desire d if he had been further fitted out with a bottomless
,
chair a lantern and a bunch of matches

, , .
“
Now old u n ! cried F ascination in his light raillery
,
’ ”
, ,
what do dgery are you up to next sitting there with your ,

’
eyes S hut ? You ain t asleep Catch a weasel at it and .
,
”
catch a Jew !
“
Truly sir I fear I nodded said the old man
, , ,
.
Not you ! returne d Fl e d g e b y with a c u nning look

”
, .
A telling move with a good many I d are say but it won t , ,

’
put m e off my guard Not a bad notion though if you .

,
want to look ind ifferent in driving a bargai n Oh you are .

,
a dodger
The old man Shook his head gently repudiati ng the i m ,
putation and suppressed a sigh and moved to the ta ble at

.
,
which Mr Fl e d ge b y was now pouring out for himself a cup

.
of steaming and fr agrant coffee from a pot that had stood

ready on the hob It was an edifying spectacle the young .
,
498 OUR MUTU AL FRI E ND
Queer Street is full of lodgers j ust at present These are
to be disposed of in parcels are they
In parcel s as set forth returned the O l d man l ooking , ,
’
over his master s shoulder or the lump .
”
“
Half the lump will be waste paper one knows before -
,
hand ,
said Fl e d g e b y
” “
Can you get it at waste paper .
-
’
price That s the question .
”
Riah shook his head and Fl e d ge b y cast his small eyes ,
down the list They presently began to twinkle an d he no

.
,
sooner became conscious of their twinkling than he looked ,
up over his shoulder at the grave face above him and moved ,
to the chimney piece Mak ing a desk of it he stood there

-
.
,
with his back to the old man warming his knees perusing , ,
the list at his leisure and often re turning to some lines of ,
it as though they were particularly interesting At those

,
.
times he glanced in the chimney glass to see what note the -
old man took of him He took none that co u ld be detected .

,
’
but aware of his employer s s u Spi c i o n s Stood with his eyes
, ,
on the ground .
Mr Fl e d g e b y was thu s amiably engaged when a step was

.
heard at the outer door and the door wa s heard to open ,

“ ”
hastily Hark
. That s your doing you Pump of Israel ’
, ,
said Fl e d ge b y ; you can t have shut it

“
Then the step ’
.
”
was heard within and the voice of Mr Alfred La mm l e ,

.
called aloud “
Are you anywhere here Fl e d ge b y ?
,
To ,
which Fl e d g e b y after cautioning Riah in a low voice to take

,
“ ”
his cue as it Should be given him replied Here I am ! , ,
and opened his bedroom door .
Come in ! said Fl e d ge b y ”
This gentleman is only .
P u b s e y and C o of Saint Mary Axe that I am try ing to

.
, ,
make terms for an u nfortunate friend with in a matter of

some dishonoured bills But really P u b s e y and Co are so . .
strict with their debtors and so hard to move that I seem , ,
to be wasting my time Can t I make a ny terms with you .

’
on my frien d s part Mr Riah ’
, .
“
I am but the representative of another sir return ed , ,
’9
“
the Jew in a low voice I do as I am bidden by my .
principal It is not my capital that is invested in the

.
business It is not my profit that arises therefrom

. .
Ha ha laughed Fl e d g e b y La m m l e .
“
Ha ha ! laughed La m m l e
”
Yes Of course We know . . . .
Devilish good ain t it La m m l e ? said Fl e d ge b y n u

,
’
,
”
,
speakably amused by his hidden j oke .

SO M E THING W R O NG 499
”
Al ways the same always the same ! said La m m l e ,
.
Mr .
Riah P u b s e y an d C o Saint Mary Axe Fl e d ge b y put

, ,
.
, ,
in as he wiped away the tears that trickled from his eyes

, ,
so rare was his enj oyment of his secret j oke .
“
Mr Ria h is bound to observe the invariable forms for
.
such cases made and provided said La m m l e ,

”
.
He is only the repre sentative of a nother cried F ledge

by. Does as he is told by his principal Not his capit al
’
that s invested in the business Oh that s good ! Ha ha
’
.
,
ha ha ! Mr La m m l e j oined in the lau gh and looked

”
.
knowing and the more he did both the more exquisite the ,
secret j oke became for Mr Fl e d g e b y . .
“
However said that fascinating gentleman wiping his
,
”
,
“
eyes again if we go on in this way we shall seem to be
, ,
almost making game of Mr Riah or of P u b s e y and Co .

,
.
,
Saint Mary Axe or of somebody : whi ch is far from our

,
inte ntion Mr Riah if you would h av e the kindness to

. .
,
S tep i nto the next room for a few moments while I Speak
with Mr La m m l e here I Should lik e to try to make terms

.
,
with you once again before you go .
The old man wh o had never raised his eyes during the
,
whole transaction of Mr Fl e d g e b y s j oke Silently bowed and .

’
passed out by the door which Fl e d ge b y opened for him .
Having closed it on h im Fl e d ge b y returned to La m m l e , ,
standing with his back to the bedroom fire with one han d ,
under his coat skirts and all his whiskers in the other
-
, .
Halloa said Fl e d g e b y There s something wro n g ! .

’ ”
How do you know it ? demanded La m m l e .
Because you Show it replied Fl e d g e b y in unintentional ,
rhyme .
“
Well then ; there is said La m m le ; there is some ,
”
thing wrong the whole thing s wrong ’
.
“
I say remonstrated F ascination very slowly and Sitting ,
down with his hands on his knees to stare at his glowering

frien d with his back to the fire .
“
I tell you Fl e d g e b y re peated La m m l e with a sweep
, ,
”
of his right arm “

the whole thing s wrong The game s
,
’
.
’
u
What game s up ? demanded Fl e d ge b y as Slowly as
’ ”
before an d more sternl y

, .
“
THE game O U R game . Read that . .
Fl e d ge b y took a note from his extended hand and read it

aloud Al fred La m m le Esquire Sir : All o w Mrs Pod
.
, . .
sn ap and myself to express our united sense of the poli te

attentions of Mrs Alfred La m m l e and yourself towards our .
daugh ter Georgiana Al low us also wholly to rej ect them .

, ,
for the fut u re and to communicate our final desire that the
,
two families may become entire strangers I have the .
honour to be Sir your most obedient and very humble

, ,
servant J O HN P O D SN AP
,
Fl e d ge b y looked at the three blank .
”
sides of this note quite as long and earnestly as at the first

expressive side and then looked at La m m l e who responded
, ,
with another extensive sweep of his right arm .
‘
Whose d oing is this said Fl e d g e b y .
Impossible to imagin e said La m m l e , .
Perhaps suggested Fl e d ge b y after reflecting with a

,
”
,
“
very discontented brow somebody has been giving you ,
”
a bad character .
Or you said La m m l e with a deeper frown

,
”
, .
Mr Fl e d g e b y appeared to be on the verge of so m e

.
mutinous expressions when his hand happened to touch his ,
n ose A certain remembrance connected with that feature

.
O perating as a timely warning he took it thoughtfu lly ,
between his thumb and forefinger and pondered ; La m m le ,
meanwhile eyeing him with furtive eyes .
“
Well ! said Fle d ge b y ” “
This won t improve with .
’
talking about If we ever find out who did it we ll mark

.
,
’
that person There s nothing more to be said except that

.
’
you undertook to do what circumstances prevent your

”
doing .
“
And that you u ndertook to do what you might have
done by this time if you had made a prompter u se of cir ,
cumstances snarled La m m l e ,
”
.
“
Hah ! That remarked Fl e d g e b y with his hands in ,
”
,
“
the Turkish trousers is matter of opinion , .
“
Mr Fl e d g e b y said La m m le in a bullying tone am
.
,
”
, ,
I to understand that you in any way reflect upon me or ,
hint dissatisfaction with me in this affair ,

“
No said Fl e d g e b y ;
,
” "“
provided you have brought my
”
promisso r y note in your pocket and now hand it over ,
.
La m m l e prod u ced it not without reluctance Fl e d ge b y ,

.
looked at it identified it t wisted it up and threw it into

, , ,
the fire They both looked at it as it blazed went out and

.
, ,
flew i n feathery ash up the chimney .
“
Now Mr Fle d ge b y La m m l e s aid as before ; am I
,
.
, ,
I think she would have been more SO answered La m m le , ,
if there had been more go in y ou

Oh l—She lays it upon me then ,
Mr Fl e d ge b y I will not have my words misconstrued

.
,
.
Don t break out La m m l e urged Fl e d g e b y i n a sub

’
, ,
”
,
“
missive tone because there s no occasion I only asked a
,
’
.
’
questio n Then she don t lay it upon me ? To ask another
.
question .
No sir , .
Very good said Fl e d g e b y plainly seeing that she d i d

, ,
.
My compliments to her Good bye .

-
They Shook hands and La m m l e s trode out pon dering ,

.
Fl e d ge b y saw h i m into the fog and returning to the fire an d , ,
musing with his face to it stretched the legs of the rose ,
coloured Turkish trousers wide apart and meditatively bent ,
his knees as if he were going d own upon them

,
.
“
You have a pair of whiskers La m m l e which I never , ,
liked murmured Fl e d g e b y
,
” “
an d which money can t pro ,
’
duce ; you are boastful of your manners and your conver

sation ; you wanted to pull my nose and you have let me ,
in for a failure and your wife says I am the cause of it ,

.
I ll bowl you down I will though I have no whiskers

’
.
, ,
“
here he rubbed the places where they were due and no ,
manners and no conversation ! ,

”
Having thus relieved his noble mind he collected the legs ,
of the Turkish trousers straightened him self on his knees , ,
and called out to Riah in the next room Halloa you Si r , ,
At Sight of the old man r e e ntering with a gentleness mon -
s tr o u s l
y in contrast with the character he had given him
Mr Fl e d g e b y was SO tickled again that he exclaimed laugh
.
, ,
“
ing Good Good Upon my soul it is uncommon good
,
Now old u n pr o c e e d e d Fl e d g e b y when he had had his

,
’
,
”
,
’
laugh out you ll buy up these lots that I mark with my
,
pencil — there s a tick there and a tick there and a tick

’
, ,
there and I wager twopence you ll afterwards go o n s qu e e z

“
’
’
ing those Christians like the Jew you are Now next you ll .
,
want a chequ e — o r you ll say you want it though you ve ’ ’
capital enough somewhere if one only knew where but , ,
you d be peppered and salted and grilled on a gridiron before

’
you d own to i t— and that cheque I ll write

’ ’
.
”
When he had unlocked a drawer and taken a key from

it to open another drawer in which was another key that ,
opened another drawer in which was another key that opened ,

P L E DG E RY AND THE JEW 503
another drawer i n which was the cheque book and when he,
had written the cheque ; and when reversing the key and ,
drawer process he had placed his cheque book in safety ,
aga in ; he beckoned the old man with the folded cheque , ,
to come and take it .
“
Old u n said Fl e d ge b y when the Jew h ad put it in his
’
, ,
pocket book and was putting that in the breast of his outer
-
garment so much at present for my a ffairs Now a word .
about a fia i r s that are not exactly mine Where is Sh e .
With his hand not yet withdrawn from the breast of his
garment Riah started and paused
,
.
Oho said Fl e d ge b y “
Didn t expect it ! Where have .
’
you hidden her

Showing that he was taken by surprise the old man ,
looked at his master with some passing confusion which the ,
master highly enj oyed .
“
Is she in the house I pay rent and taxes for in Saint
Mary Axe demanded Fl e d g e b y .
“
No sir , .
I S she in your garden up at 0 p of that hou se — gone u p

to be dead or whatever the game is
,
asked Fle d ge b y .
No Sir ,
.
”
Where is she then ?

Riah bent his ey es upon the ground as if considering ,
whether he coul d answer the question without breach of

faith and then silently raised them to Fl e d ge b y s face as if
,
’
he could not .
“
Come ! said Fl e d ge b y ”
I won t press that j ust now .
’
.
But I want to know this and I wil l know this min d you , ,
.
What are you up to

The old man with an apologetic action of his head and ,
hands as not comprehendin g the master s mea ni n g addressed

,
’
to h i m a look of mute i n quiry .
You can t be a gallivanting dodger ’

said Fle d ge b y
For you re a regular pity the sorrows you know —i f you
.
,
’ ‘ ’
d o know any Chri stian rhyme whose trembl i ng l i mbs have

borne him to — e t c e tr e r Yo u re one of the Patriarchs .
’
you re a shaky O l d card ; and you can t be in love with this

’ ’
Lizzie
“ ”
Oh Si r ,
expostulated Riah Oh sir Si r sir ! .
, , ,
Then why retorted Fl e d ge b y with some slight tinge of

,
”
,
“
a blush don t you out with you r reason for having your
,
’
spoon in the soup at a ll ?

Sir I will tell you the truth But (your pardon for the
, .
stipulation ) it is in sacred confidence ; it is strictly up on

”
h onour .
“
Honour too ! cried Fl e d ge b y with a mocking lip ”
, .
Honour among Jews Well Cut away . .
It is upon honour s i r ? the other stil l stipulated wi th , ,
respectful firmness .
Oh certainly Honou r bright said Fl e d ge b y

,
.
, .
The old man never bidden to Si t down stood with an

, ,
earnest hand l aid on the back of the young man s easy chair ’
-
.
The young man sat looking at the fire with a face of listening
curiosity ready to check h i m o ff and catch him trippin g
, .
“
Cut away said Fl e d ge b y “
Start wi th you r motive
,
”
. .
Sir I have no motive but to help the helpless

, .
”
Mr Fl e d ge b y could only express the feelings to which th i s

.
incredible statement gave rise in his breast by a prodigiously ,
long d erisive sniff .
How I came to k now and much to esteem and to ,
respect this damsel I mentioned when you saw her in my

, ,
”
poor garden on the hou se top said the Jew -
, .
“
Did you said Fle d ge b y d i strustfu lly “
Well pe rhaps ,
.
,
”
you did though ,
.
“
The better I knew her the more i nterest I felt in her ,
fortunes They gathered to a crisis I found her beset by

. .
a selfish and ungrateful brother beset by an unacceptable ,
wooer beset by the snares of a more powerful lover beset

, ,
by the wi les of her own heart .

”
She took to one of the chaps then

Sir it was only natural that she should i nclin e towards
,
him for he had many and great advantages B ut he was

,
.
not of her station and to marry her was not in his m i nd , .
Perils were closing round her and the circle was fas t ,
darkening when I —being as you have said s rr too old and

, ,
broken to be suspected of any feeling for her but a father s ’
— stepped in and counse lled flight ‘

I said My daughter
, .
, ,
there are times of moral danger when the hardest virtuous

resolution to form is fli ght and when the most heroic bravery ,
’
is flight She answered she had had this in her thoughts
.
,
but whither to fly without help s h e knew not and there ,
were n one to help her I showed her there was one to help .
her and it was I An d she is gone

, . .
”
“
What did you do with her asked Fl e d g e b y feel i n g his ,
cheek .
5
poor dependant on whom he set his foot Left alone Mr .
, .
Fl e d ge b y locked his o uter door and came back to his fire , .
“
Well done, you ! said F asci nation to himself
” “
Slo w .
,
you may b e ; sure, you are ! This he twice o r thrice ”
repeated with much complacency as he again dispersed the ,
legs of the Turkish trousers and bent the knees .
“
A tidy Shot that I flatter myself he then soliloquised
, , .
And a Je w brought down with it ! Now when I heard

the story told at La m m l e s I d idn t make a j ump at Riah’
,
’
.
”
No t a bit of it ; I got at him by degrees Herein he was .
quite accurate ; it being his habit not to jump or leap or , ,
make an upward Spring at anything in life but to crawl , ,
at everything .
“
I got at him pursued Fl e d ge b y feel i ng for his whiskers
, , ,
by degre es If your La m m l e s or your Light woods had got

.
at h i m anyhow they would have asked him the question

,
whether he hadn t somethin g to do with that gal s d i sa p

’ ’
pe a r a n c e
. I knew a better way of going to work Having .
got behind the hedge and put him i n the light I took a
, ,
’
shot at h i m and brought h i m down plump Oh ! It don t .
count for much being a J ew in a match agai nst me

, ,
Another dry twist in place of a smile, made his face

crooked here .
As to Christians proceeded Fl e d ge b y look out fellow

,
“
, ,
Christians particularly you that lodge in Queer Street ! I

,
have got the r u n of Queer Street now and you S hall see some ,
games there To work a lot of power over you and yo u not

.
kno w it k n owi n g a s y ou think yourselves would be almost

, ,
worth laying out money upon But when it comes to .
’
s queezing a profit out of you into the bargain it s some ,
thing like ! ”
With this apostrophe Mr Fl e d g e b y appropriately proceeded

.
to dives t himself of his Tu rkish garments and invest himself ,
with Christian attire Pending which operation and his

.
,
morning ablutions and his ano i nting of himself with the last
,
infallible preparation for the production of luxuriant and

glossy hair upon the human countenance (quacks being the
only sages he believed in besides usurers) the murky fog ,
closed about him and shut him up in its sooty embrace If .
it h a d never let him out any more the world would have ,
had no irreparable loss but could have easily replaced him

,
from its stock on hand .

CHAP T ER I I
A RESPE CT ED FRI E ND IN A NEW ASP E C T
I N the evening of this same foggy day when th e yell ow

window blind of P u b s e y and Co was drawn down upon the
-
.
day s work Riah the Jew once more came forth into Saint
’
Mary Axe But this time he carried no bag and was not
.
,
’
bound on his m aster s a ffairs He passed over London .
Bridge and returned to the Middlesex shore by that of

,
Westminster and so ever wading through the fog waded to

, , ,
the doorstep of the dolls dressmaker ’

.
Miss Wren expected him He could see h e r through th e .
window by the light of her l ow fir e — carefully banked up

with damp cinders that it might last the longer and waste
the less when she went out— sitting waiting for h im in her
bonnet His tap at the glass rou sed her from the musing
.
solitude in which Sh e sat and she came to the door to open ,
it aiding her steps with a little crutch stick -

.
Good evening godmother ! said Miss Jenny Wren

,
”
.
The old man laughed and gave her his arm to lean on ,
.
Won t you come in and warm yourself godmother ?

’
asked Miss Jenny Wren .
“
Not if you are ready Cinderella my dear , ,
.
”
Well ! exclaimed Miss Wren delighte d Now you ,
,
ARE a clever old boy ! If we gave prizes at this establish

ment (but we only keep blanks ) you should have the first ,
S ilver medal for taking me up so quick As she spake ”

, .
thus Miss Wren removed the key of th e hou se door from

,
the keyhole and put i t in her pocket and then bustlingly

-
,
closed the door and tried it as they both stood on th e

,
step Satisfied that her dwelling was safe she drew one
.
,
hand through the old man s arm and prepared to ply her ’
crutch stick with the other But the key was an i n strument
-
.
of such gigantic proportions that before they started Riah ,
proposed to carry it .
No no no ! I ll carry it myself returned Miss Wren
, ,
’
, .
“
I m awfully lop sided you kno w and stowed down I n
’
-
, ,
’
my pocket it ll trim the ship To let you into a secret .
,
godmother I wear my pocket on my high side 0 pu r

, ,
’
ose .
”
With that they began their plodding through the fog .
“
Yes it wa s truly sharp of you godmother resumed
, , ,
”
“
Miss Wren with great approbation to understand me , .
But you see you a re so like the fairy godmother in the

, ,
bright little books ! You look so unl i ke the rest of people ,
and so much as if you had changed yourself into that

Shape j ust this moment with some benevolen t obj ect
, , .
Boh cried Miss Jenny putting her face close to the O l d ,

“
man s ’
I can see your features godmother behind the
.
, ,
beard .
“
Does the fancy go to my changing other obj ects too ,
Jenn I
Ah ! That it does If you d only borrow my stick and ’
tap this piece of pavement — this dirty stone that my foot

taps— i t would start up a coach and six I say ! Let s .
’
”
believe so !
“
With all my heart replied the go od Old man ,
.
And I ll tell you what I must ask you to do godmother

’
, .
I must ask you to be so kind as give my chil d a tap and ,
change him altogether Oh my child has been such a bad .

, ,
bad child of late ! It worries me nearly out of my wits .
Not done a stroke of work these ten days Has had the .
horrors too and fancied that four copper coloured men in

, ,
-
red wanted to throw him into a fiery furnace .

”
'
But that s dangerou s Jenny , .
Dangerou s godmother ? My bad child is always

,
dangerous more or less ,

He might —here the little .
creature glanced back over her shoulder at the sky — “

be
setting the house on fire at this present moment I don t .
’
know who would have a child for my part ! It s no use ,

’
shaking him I have shaken him till I have made myself

.
'
‘
giddy Why don t you mind your Commandments an d
.
honou r your parent you naughty old boy ? I said to ,

’
h i m all the time But he only whimpered and stared .
at me .
“
What Shall be changed after h i m ? asked Riah in a ,
”
compassionately playful voice .
“
Upon my word godmother I am afraid I must be , ,
married for going to help other dolls to get married for all
, ,
the gay events of life .
”
P r etty p r etty pretty ! said the old man with a clap of
, ,
“
his hands Most elegant taste
. .
”
“ ’
Glad you like em , returned Miss Wren loftily But ,
.
the fun is godmother how I make the great ladies try my

, ,
dresses on Though it s the hardest part of my business

.
’
,
and would be even if my back w ere not bad and my legs

,
queer .
He looked at her as not understanding what she said .
“ “ ”
Ble ss you godmother said Miss Wren I have to scu d
, , ,
about town at all hours If it was only sitting a t my bench .

-
cutting out and sewing it would be comparatively easy ,

’
work but it s the trying o n by the great ladies that takes it -
o ut of me .
”
How the trying on ? asked Riah
,
-
.
What a mooney godmother you are after all returned ,

“
Miss Wren Look here There s a Drawing R oom or a
. .
’
,
grand day in the Park or a Show or a F ete or W hat you , , ,
like Very well I squeeze among the crowd and I look

. .
,
about me When I see a great lady very suitable for my

.
‘ ’
business I say You ll do my dear ! and I take particular
, ,
’
notice of her and run home and cut her out and baste her
,
.
Then another day I come scu dding back again to try on , ,
and then I take particular notice of her again Sometimes .
‘
Sh e plainly seems to say How that little creature is ,
’
staring ! and sometimes likes it and sometimes don t but ’
much more often yes than no All the time I am only .
‘
saying to my self I must h ollow out a bit here ; I must
,
S lope away there and I am making a perfect slave of her ,
with making her try on my doll s dress Evening parties ’

.
a r e severer work for me because there s only a doorway for

’
a full V iew and what with hobbling among the wheels of

,
the carriages and the legs of the horses I fully expect to be ,

’
run over some night However there I have em j ust the
same When they go bobb i ng mm the b a ll from the carriage
.
, ,
.
,
and catch a glimpse of my little physiognomy poked out

from behind a policeman s cape in the rain I dare say they ’
think I am wondering and adm i ring with all my eyes and

heart but they l ittle think they re only work i n g for my
,
’
doll s There was Lady Belinda W h i tr o s e I made her do .
d ouble duty in one night I said when she came out of the .
carriage You ll do my dear ! and I ran straight home and

,
’
,
’
T RY I N G THE D O LLS D R ESSMAK E R
’
O N FO R
5 1 4 OUR MUTU AL F RI E ND
manifest tokens of astonishment took the diminutive docu ,
ment and fou nd it to run concisely th u s

,
M I SS J ENNY W RE N
DR ESSMAKE R
’
DO LLS .
Dolls a tten d ed at th ei r wn
o r es i d en c es .
Lu d exclaimed Miss Potterson staring , . And dropped

the card .
“
We take the liberty of coming my young companion ,
and I madam said Riah on behalf of Lizzie He x a m

, , , .
”
Miss Potterson was stooping to loosen the bonnet strings -
’
of the dolls dressmaker She looked roun d rather angrily . .
and said “
Lizzie He x a m is a very proud young woman .
”
She w ould be so proud returned Riah dexterously to “

,
”
, ,
stand well in your good opinion that before s h e quitted ,
London for
“
F or where in the name of t h e Cape of Good Hope ?
,
asked Miss Potterson as though s upposing her to hav e ,
emigrated .
“
F or the country was the cautious answer she made
, ,
u s promise to come and Show you a paper which S h e left in ,
our hands for that special purpose I am an unserviceable .
friend of hers who began to know her after her departure

,
from this neighbourhood She has been for some t i me living .
with my young companion and has been a helpful and a ,
comfortable friend to her Much needed madam he added .

, , ,
“
in a lower voice Believe me ; if you knew all much
.
,
needed .
”
“
I can believe that said Miss Abbey with a softening , ,
glance at the little creature .
“ ’
And if it s proud to have a heart that never hardens ,
”
and a temper that never tires and a touch that never hurts , ,
“
Miss Jenny struck in flushed Sh e is proud And if it s , ,
.
’
not Sh e is NO T
, .
”
Her set purpose of contradicting Miss Abbey point blank

was so far fro m offending that dread authority as to elicit
“
a gracious smile You do .said Miss Abbey ,
“
to Speak well of those wh o deserve well of you .
MI SS PO ITE RSO
’
N SH O RT AND SW EE T 51 5
Right or wrong muttered Miss Wren inau dibly with , , ,
“
a visible hitch of her chin I mean to do it and you may , ,
”
make up your mind to th a t O l d lady ,
.
“
Here is the paper madam said the Jew delivering into , , ,
Miss P o tte r s o n s hands the original document drawn up by

’
“
Ro k e s m i th and signed by Riderhood
,
Will you please to .
read it ?
But first of all said Miss Abbey did you ever taste
, ,
shrub child
,
Miss Wren shook her head .
Should you like to

Should if it s goo d returned Miss Wren
’
,
.
’
You shall try And if you find it good I ll mix some
.
, ,
for you with hot water Put your poor little feet on the .
fender It s a cold cold night and the fog clings so

.
’
,
As ,
.
”
Miss Abbey helped her to turn h e r chair her loosened ,

“
bonnet dropped on the floor Why what lovely hair ! .
,
”
“
cried Miss Abbey And enough to make wigs for all the
.
dolls in the world What a quantity .
Call th a t a quantity ? returned Miss Wren Poof ! ”

.
”
What do you say to the rest of it ? As she spoke she ,
u ntied a band and the golden Stream fell over herself and
,
over the chair and flowed down to the ground

,
Miss .
’
Abbey s admiration seemed to increase her perplexity She .
beckoned the Jew towards her as she reached down the ,
shrub bottle fro m its niche and whispered

-
,
Child or woman ?
,
Child in years was the answer ; woman in self

,
”
reliance and trial .

”
“
You are talking about Me good people thought Miss , ,
“
Jenny sitting i n her golden bower warmin g her feet
,
I ,
.
can t hear what you say but I know your t r icks and your
’
manners !
The shrub when tasted from a Spoon perfectly h a r m o n i s
, ,
ing with Miss Jenny s palate a j udicious amount was m i xed ’
by Miss P o tte r s o n s skilful han d s whereof Riah too partook

’
,
.
After this preliminary Miss Abbey read the document and , ,
as often as she raised her eyebrows in so doin g the watchful ,
Miss Jenny accompanied the action with an expressive and

emphatic sip of the Shrub and water .
“
AS fa r as this goes said Miss Abbey Potterson when ,
”
,
“
she had read it several times and thought about it it , ,
proves (what didn t much need proving) that Rogue Rider

’
516 O UR MUTUAL F RI END
hood is a vil lai n I have my doubts whether he is not the
.
villain who solely did the deed ; but I have no expecta ti on

of those doubts ever being cleared up now I believe I did .
’ ’
Liz zie s father wrong but never Lizzie s self ; because when ,
things were at the worst I t r u ste d her had perfect confiden c e ,
in her and tried to pe rsuade her to come to me for a refuge

, .
I am very sorry to have done a man wrong particularly ,
when it can t be undone Be kind enough to let Lizzie k now

’
.
what I say ; not forgetting that if she wil l c ome to the

Porters after all bygones be ing bygones she will find a
, , ,
home at the Porte rs and a friend at the Porters She , .
knows Miss Abbey of old remind her and she knows what , ,
like the home and what l ike the friend is likely to t u rn out
,
-
,
.
I am generall y short an d sweet — o r sho rt an d sour accord ,
ing as it may be and as opinions vary remarked Miss

“
Abbey and that s about a ll I have got to say and enough
,
’
too .
”
But before the Shrub and water was sippe d out Miss Abbey ,
bethought herse lf that she would l ike to keep a copy of the

“ “ ’
paper by her It s not long sir sai d she to Riah an d
.
, ,
”
,
perhaps you wouldn t mind j ust j otti ng it down The old ’

.
man willingly put on his spectacles and stand i ng at the , ,
little desk in the corner where Miss Abbey fil ed h e r receipts

and kept her sample phials (customers scores were inter ’
dicted by the strict admini stration of the Porters) wrote out ,
the copy in a fair round character As he stood there doing .

,
his methodical penmanship his ancient scribe like figure ,

-
’
intent upo n the work and the little dolls d ressmaker sitting ,
in her golden bower be fore the fire Miss Abbey h a d her ,
doubts whether she had not dreamed those two rare figures
into the bar of the Six Jolly F ellowships and m ight not ,
wake with a nod next moment an d find them gone .
Mi ss Abbey had twice made the expe ri ment of shutting

her eyes and opening them again still find i ng the figures ,
there when dream li ke a confused hubbub arose in the

, ,
-
,
public room As she starte d up and they a ll three looked

.
,
at one another it beca me a noise of clamouring voices and

,
of the stir of feet ; then all the windows were hear d to be

hastil y thrown up and shouts and cries came floatin g i nto ,
the house from the river A moment more and Bob Gliddery .
,
came clatteri ng along the passage with the n oise of all the ,
nails in his boots condensed into every separate nail .
”
What is it ? ask e d M i ss Abbe y .
in tones of universal h oarseness All the while the steamer s .
’
lights moved spectrally a very little as she lay to waiti ng ,

-
,
the upshot of whatever accident had happened Now she .

-
began burning blue lights These made a luminous patch -

.
about her as if she had set the fog on fire and in the
, ,
patch — the cries changing their note an d becoming more ,
fi tfu l and more excited — shadows of men and boats could

“ “
be seen moving whil e voices shouted : There ! ,There ”
“
again ! ”
A couple more strokes ahead ! Hurrah ! ” ”
“ “ ” ”
Look out ! Hold on ! Haul in ! and the l i ke .
Lastly with a few tumblin g clots of blue fire the night

, ,
closed in dark again the wheels of the steamer were heard ,
re v olving and her lights glided smoothly away in the

,
direction of the sea .
It appeared to Miss Abbey and her two companions that

a considerable t i me had been thus occupied There was now .
as eager a set towards the S hore beneath the house as there

had been from it ; and it was only on the first boat of the
rush coming in that it was k nown what had occu rred .
“
If that s Tom Tootle Miss Abbey made proclamation
’
,
”
,
“
i n her most commanding tones let him i nstantly come ,
u nderneath here .
”
Th e submissive Tom complied attended by a crowd ,

.
What I s it Tootle demanded Miss Abbey ,

.
It s a foreign steamer Miss run down a W herry

’
, ,
.
How many in the W herry

”
One man Miss Abbey ,
.
F ound
Yes He s been under water a long t ime Miss ; but
.
’
,
”
they ve grappled up the body
’
“
Let em bring it here You Bob Gliddery shut the
’
.
, ,
’
house door and stand by it on the inside and don t you open ,
till I tell you Any police down there

Here Mi s s Abbey was the o ffi cial rej oinder
.
”
t
.
, ,
After they have brought the body in keep the crowd out , ,
’ ”
will you An d help Bob Gliddery to shut em out .
All right Miss Abbey ,

.
The autocratic landlady withdrew into the hou se with Riah

and Miss Jenny and disposed those for c e s one on either S ide
, ,
of her within the half door of the bar as behind a breastwork

,
-
,
.
“
You two stand close here said Miss Abbey and you ll
’
, ,
come to no hurt , and see it brought in Bob you Sta nd by .

,
the door .
”
A B O DY B R O UGHT IN 1
5 9
That sentinel smartly giving his rolled shirt sleeves an
,
-
extra an d a final tuck on his shoulders obeyed ,

.
Sound of advancing voices sound of advancing steps ,

.
Shuffle and talk without Momentary pause Two peculiarly . .
blunt knocks or pokes at the door as if the dead man arrivi n g ,
on his back were striking at it with the soles of h i s motion

l ess feet .
“
That s the stretcher or the shu tter whichever of th e
’
, ,
”
two they are carrying said Miss Abbey with experien ced , ,
“ '
ear. Open you Bob ,
Door opened Heavy tread of laden men A halt A

. . .
rush Stoppage of rush Door shut B a ffl ed b o o ts from th e

. . .
vexed souls of disappointed outsiders .
“
Come on men ! said Miss Abbey ; for s o p ote n t was
,
”
.
Sh e with her subjects that even then the bearers awaited h e r

“
permi ssion F i r st floor
. .
”
The entry being low and the staircase bei ng low they so
, ,
took up the burden they had set dow n as to carry that low , .
The recumbent figure in passing lay hardly as high as the

, ,
half door
-
.
Miss Abbey started back at sight of it Why good .

,
’
God ! said she turning to her two companions that s the
“ ’
ve ry man who in a d e the declaration we have just had in ou r

, ,
’
hands That s Riderhood
.
CHAP T ER I II
THE SAME RESPEC T ED FRI EN D I N M ORE ASPECT S

T HAN ONE
I N sooth , it is Riderhood and no other, or it is the outer husk

a n d shell of Riderhood an d no other , that is borne into Miss
Abbey s fir s t flo or bedroom Supple to twist and tu rn as the

’
-
.
Rogue has ever been , he is su fficiently rigid now ; and not

without much shu ffling of attendant feet , and tilting of his
bier this way and that wa y, and peril even of his sliding O ff
it and being tumbled in a heap over the balustrades can he ,
b e got u p stairs -
.
“ “
Fetch a doctor quoth Miss Abbey And then , Fetch
, .
h i s daughter
”
On both of whic h errands quick messengers
.
depart .
The doctor seeking messenger meets the doctor halfway

-
,
coming under convoy of police Doctor examines the dank .
c a rcase and pronounces not hopefully that it is worth whil e

, , ,
trying to reanimate the same All the best means are at once .
i n act ion and everybody present lends a hand an d a heart

, ,
a n d soul No one has the leas t regard for the man : with
.
them all he has been an obj ect of avoidance suspicion and

, , ,
aversion ; b u t the spark of life within him is curiou sly

separable from him self now and they have a d e ep interest ,
in it probably because it i s life, and they are living an d

,
must die .
In answer to the doctor s inquiry how did it happen and’

,
was any one to blame To m Tootle gives in his verdict

, ,
unavoidable accident and no one to blame but the sufferer .
“ “
He was slinking about in his boat says Tom which ,
”
,
slinking were not to speak ill of the dead the manner of

, ,
’
the man , when he come right athwart the steamer s bows
and she cut him in two Mr Tootle is so far figurative
. . ,
touching the di smemberment as that he means the boat and , ,
not the man For the man lies whole be fore them
. .
The Spark may smoulder and go out or it may glow and ,
expand but see ! The four rough fellows seei ng shed tea rs
, , .
Neither Riderhood I n this world n or Riderhood In the ot her , ,
c ould draw te ars from the m ; but a striv i ng human soul
be t ween the two can do it easil y .
He is struggling to come back No w he is almost here .

,
now he is far a way again Now he is struggling harder to .
get back And yet —like u s all when we swoon— lik e u s

.
,
all every day of our lives when we wake — h e is instinctively

,
unwilling to be restored to the consciousness of this existence ,
and would be left dormant if he c ould , .
B ob Gliddery returns with Pleasant Riderhood who ,
was out when sought for and hard to fin d She has a ,

.
shawl over her head and her first action when S h e takes
, ,
it off weeping and c urtseys to Miss Abbey is to wind her

, ,
hair up .
“
Thank you Miss Abbey for having father h ere
, , .
’ ”
I am boun d to say girl I didn t kn ow who it was , , ,
“
returns Miss Abbey but I hope it would have been pretty
”
much the same if I had known .
Poor Pleasant fortified with a sip of brandy is ushered

, ,
i nto the firs t flo or chamber -

She could not express much .
sentiment about her father if she were called upon to pro

nounce his funeral oration but she h a s a greater tenderness ,
for him than he ever had for her and crying bitterly when ,
she sees him stretched un conscious asks the doctor with ,

“
clasped hands : Is there no hope sir ? Oh poor father ! , ,
Is po or father dead
To which the doctor on one knee beside the body busy, ,
and watchful only rej oins without looking round : Now

,
“
,
my girl u nless you have the self command to be perfectly

,
-
qu iet I cannot allow you to remain in the room

,
.
Pleasant co nsequently wipes her eyes with her back hair

, ,
-
,
which is in fresh need of being wound up and having got it ,
out of the way watches with terrified interest all that goes
,
on Her natural woman s aptitu de soon renders her able to

.
’
’
give a little help Anticipating the doctor s want of this or
.
that she quietly h as it read y for him an d so by degrees is

, ,
’
intrusted with the charge of suppo rting her father s head
upon her arm .
It is something so new to Pleasant to see her father an

obj ect of sympathy and interes t to find any one very willing ,
to tolerate his s ociety in this world not to say pressingly ,

B O DY R E C O V ERING 5 2 3
and soothingly entreating him to belong to it that it gives ,
her a sensation she never experienced before Some hazy .
idea that if affairs could remain thu s for a long time it would
be a respectable change floats in h e r mind Also some vagu e ,
.
idea that the old evil is drowned out of him and that if he ,
should happily come back to resume his occupation of th e

empty form that lies upon the bed his spirit will be altered , .
In which state of mind she kisses the stony lips and quite ,
believes that the impassive hand Sh e chafes will revive a

tender hand if it revive ever ,
.
Sweet delusion for Pleasant Riderhood But they mini ster .
to him with such extraordin ary i nterest their anxiety is so ,
keen their vigilance is so great their excited j oy grows so

, ,
inten s e as the signs of life strengthen that how can she ,
resist it poor thing ! And now he begins to breathe

,
naturally and he stirs and the doctor declares him to have

, ,
come back from that inexplicable j ourney where he stopped

on the dark road an d to be here ,
.
To m To otle who is nearest to the doctor when he say s

,
this grasps the doctor fervently by the hand Bob Glamour

,
.
,
Wi l liam Willi ams and Jonathan of the no surname all , ,
shake hands with one another round and with the doctor ,
too Bob Glamour blows h i s nose and Jonathan of the no

.
,
su rname is moved to do lik ewise but lacking a pocket hand ,

-
kerchief abandons that outlet for h is emotion Pleasa nt

,
.
sheds tears deserving her own name an d her sweet delusion ,
is at its height .
There is intelligence in his eyes He wants to ask a .
question He wonders where he is Tell him

. . .
“
Father you were run down on the river and are at Miss
, ,
Abbey P o tte r s o n s ’
.
”
He stares at his daughter stares all around him closes his , ,
eyes and lies slumbering on her arm

, .
The short li ved delusion begins to fade The low bad

-
.
, ,
unimpressible face is coming up from the depths of the river ,
or what other depths to the surface again As he grows , .
warm the doctor and the four men cool As his lineaments
, .
soft en with life their faces and their hearts harden to

,
him .
“
He will do now says the doctor washing his hands , , ,
and looking at the patient with growing disfavour .
Many a better man moralizes Tom Tootle with a ,

”
gloomy shake of the head ain t had his luck ,

’
.
”
5 4
’ ’
It s to be hoped he ll make a bette r use of his life says ,
“
Bob Glamour than I expect he will , .
”
“
Or than he done afore adds William Williams .
But no not he ! says Jonathan of the no surname

,
”
clinching the quartette .
They Speak in a low tone because of his daughter but Sh e ,
sees that they have all drawn off and that they stand in a ,
group at the other end of the room shunning him It would , .
be too mu ch to suspect them of being sorry that he didn t

- ’
die when he had done so much towards it but they clearly ,
wish that they had had a better subj ect to bestow their
pains on Intelligence is conveyed to Miss Abbey in the
.
bar who reappears on the scene and contemplates from a

, ,
dista nce holdin g whispered discourse with the doctor The

,
.
spark of life was deeply interesting while it was in abeyance ,
but now that it has g o t established in Mr Riderhood there .

,
appears to be a general desire that circumstances had a d

m i tte d of its being developed in anybody else rather than ,
that gentleman .
“
However says Miss Abbey cheering them up
,
”
you , ,
have done your duty like good and true men and you had ,
better come down and take something at the ex pense of the

”
Porters .
This they all d o leavi ng the daughter watch i ng the,
father To who m i n their absence Bob Glid dery presents

.
, ,
himself .
“
His gills look rum ; don t they ? says Bob after i n ’ ”
,
specting the patient .
Pleasant faintly nods .
’
His gills l l look rummer when he wakes won t they
’
says Bob .
Pleasant hopes not Why .
When he finds h imself here you know Bob explains , ,

.
Cause Miss Abbey forbid him the house and ordered him
out of it But what you may call the F ates ordered him into
.
’
it again Which is r umness : ai n t it ?
.
“
He wouldn t have come here of his own accord returns
’
,
poor Pleasant with an effort at a little pride

,
.
“
No retorts Bob
,
”
Nor he wouldn t have been let in if
.
’
he had .
The S hort delusion is quite dispelled now As plainly as .
she see s on h e r arm the old father uni mproved Pleasant , ,
sees that everybody there will cut him when he recovers

Thus Mr Riderhood : taking from the hands of his

, .
daughter with special ill will a lent cap and grumbling as

,
-
, ,
he pulls it down over his ears Then getting on his u n

.
,
“
steady legs leaning heavily upon her and growling Hold
, ,
still can t you ? What ! You must be a staggering next

,
’
-
,
must you he takes his departure out of the ring in which

he has had that little turn u p with Death
-
.
530 OU R MUTUAL FRI E ND
Pa ever could have seen in Ma to induce him to make such ,
”
a little fool of himself as to ask her to have him .
The revolving year now b ringing the day round in its

orderly sequence Bella arrived in the Boffin chariot to assist
,
at the celebration It was the family custom when the day

.
recurred to sacrifice a pair of fowls on the altar Of Hymen

,
and Bella had sent a note beforehand to intimate that she ,
would bring the votive O ffering with her SO Bella and the .
fowls by the united energies of two horses two men four

, , ,
wheels and a pl u m pu dding carriage dog with as uncomfort

,
-
able a collar on as if he had been George the F ourth were ,
deposited at the door of the parental dwelling They were .
there received by Mrs Wilfer in person whose dignity on .

,
this as on most special o ccasions was heightened by a

, ,
mys terious toothache .
“
I shall not require the carriage at night said B ella , .
I shall walk back .

”
The male domestic of Mrs Bo ffi n touched his hat and in .

,
the act of departure h a d an awful glare bestowed upon him

by Mrs Wilfer intended to carry deep into his au dacious
.
,
soul the assurance that whatever his private suspicions ,
might be male domestics in livery were no rarity there

,
.
“ “ ”
Well dear Ma said Bella and how do y o u do ?
, , ,
“
I am as well Bella replied Mrs Wilfer ,
as can be ,
.
,
”
expected .
“ “
Dear me, Ma said Bella you tal k as if one was j ust
, ,
born ! ”
“ ’
That s exactly what Ma has been doing interposed ,
“
La v vy over the maternal shoulder
,
ever since we got up ,
this morning It s all very well to laugh Bella but any

.
’
, ,
”
thing more exasperating it is impossible to conceive .
Mrs Wilfer with a look too full of maj esty to be a e com

.
,
p a n i e d by any words attended both her daughters to the ,
kitchen where the sacrifice was to be prepared

,
.
“ “
Mr Rok e s m i th said she resignedly
. has been so ,
”
, ,
polite as to place his sitting room at our d isposal to d ay - .
You will therefore Bella be entertained in the humble , ,
abode of your parents so far in accordance with your present ,
style of living that there will be a drawing room for your

,
-
reception as well as a d ining room Your papa invited Mr -

. .
Ro k e s m i th to partake of our lowly fare In excusing him .
self on account of a particular engagement, he o ffered the

use O f his apartment .
B ELL A IN A NEW C H AR ACT E R 53 1
B ella happened to know that he had n o engagement Ou t

of his own room at Mr Boffin s but she ap proved of h is .
’
,
“
staying away We should only hav e put one another out
.
“
of countenance she thought and we d o that quite often ,
enough as it is .
Yet she had su fficient curiosity about his room to ru n up ,
to it with the least possible delay and make a close i n s pe c ,
tion of its contents It was tastefully though economic a lly.
furnished and very neatly arranged There were shelves

,
.
and sta n ds O f books English F rench and Italian and in a , , ,
portfolio on the writing table there were sheets u pon sheets -
of memoranda and calculati on s in figures evidently referring ,
to the Boffi n property On that table also c arefully backed .

,
with ca nvas varnished moun te d and rolled like a m a p was

, , , ,
the placard descriptive of the murdered man who h a d come

from afar to be her husban d She shrank from this ghostly .
surprise and felt quite frightened as s h e rolled a n d tied it

,
up again Peeping about here and there sh e came upon a

.
,
print a graceful head of a pretty woman elegantly framed

, , ,
“
hanging in the corner by the easy chair Oh indee d -
.
, ,
sir said Bella after stopping to ru m inate before it,

Oh .
,
indeed sir ! I fancy I can guess whom you think th a t s

,
’
like But I ll tell you what i t s much more like — you r

.
’ ’
impudence Having said which she de cam ped : not solely ‘
because she was o ffended but because there wa s nothin g ,
else to look at .
No w Ma said Bella reappearin g in the kitchen with

, ,
”
some remains of a blush you and La vv y think magnificent ,
me fit for nothing but I intend to prove the contrary I , .
mean to be Cook to day -

.
“
Hold rej oined her maj estic mother I cannot per .
”
mit it Cook in that dress !
.
,
”
As for my dress Ma returned Bella merrily searching , , ,
“
in a dresser drawer I mean to apron it and towel it all
-
,
over the front ; and as to permission I mean to d o without ,

.
You cook said Mrs Wilfer You who never cooked . .
when you were at home

“ ”
Yes Ma returned Bella ; that is precisely the state
, ,
of the case .
”
She girde d herself with a white apron and busily with ,
knots and pins contrived a bib to it coming close and tight ,
under her chin as if it had caught her round the neck to

,
kiss her Over this bib her dimples looked delightful and
.
,
under it her pretty figure not less so Now Ma said .
, ,
Bella pushing back her hair from her temples with bot h
,
“
hands what s first ?
,
’
“
“
F irst retu rned Mrs Wilfer solemnly
,
”
if you persist .
,
in what I cannot but regard as co nduct utterly incompatible

with the equipage in which you arrived
( Which I do Ma )
“ ”
First then you put the fowls down to the fire

, , .
— —
To b e sure cried Bella ; “
an d flour them and ,
t wirl the m round and there they go sending them spin

,
ning at a great rate What s next Ma .

’
,
“
Next said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves ex
,
.
,
pressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne ,
I would reco mmend examination of the bacon in the sauce

pan o n t he fire and also of the potatoes by the application
,
of a fork Preparation of the greens will further become

.
necessa ry if you persist in this u nseemly demeanour .
As of course I do Ma ,
.
Persisting B ella gave her attention to one thing and

,
forgot the other and gave her attentio n to the other an d

,
forgot the third and remembering the third was distracted

,
by the fourth an d made a m ends whenever she went wron g

,
by giving the unfortu nate fowls an extra spin which made ,
their chance of ever getting cooked exceedingly doubtful .
But it was pleasant co okery too Meantime Miss Lavinia .

,
oscillating between the kitchen and the Opposite room pre ,
pared the dining table i n the latter chamber This office she
-
.
(always doing her household spiriting with u nwillingness )

performed in a startling series of W hisks an d bumps laying
the table cloth as if she were raising the wind putting down
-
,
the glasses and salt cellars as if she were knocking at the -
door and clashing the knives a n d forks in a skirmishing

,
manner s u ggestive of hand to hand conflict - -

.
“ ”
Look at Ma whispered Lavinia to Bella when this was
,
done and they stood over the roasting fowls

, If one was .
the most dutiful child in existence (of course on the whole

one hopes one is ) isn t she enough to make one want to ,
’
poke her with something wooden sitting there bolt upright ,
in the corner
Only suppose retu rned Bella that poor Pa was to sit
, ,
bolt upright in another corner .

”
My dear he couldn t do it said La v vy

,
Pa would ’
,
.
loll directly B ut indeed I do not believe there ever was

.
Here Miss Lavinia descended o n the i ll starred young -
'
gentleman with a crushing supposition that at all e ve n ts i t

was no business o f his This disposed O f Mr Sampso n i n . .
a melancholy retirement of spiri t until the cherub a r rived , ,
whose amaze m ent at the lovely woman s occ upation was ’
great .
However she persisted in dishing the din n er as well as

,
cooking it and then sat down bibless and apronless to

, , ,
partake of it as an ill u strious guest : Mrs Wilfer first r e .
“
s po n d i n g to her husband s cheerful F or what we are abou t ’
to receive with a se pulchral Amen calculated to cast a ,
damp upon the stoutest appetite .
”
But what said Bella as she watched the carving of the
, ,
“
fowls makes them pink inside I wonder Pa ! Is it the
, , ,
breed
NO I don t think it s the breed my dear returned Pa
,
’ ’
, ,
’
.
I rather think it is because they are not d one .
”
They ought to be said Bella , .
Yes I m aware they ought to be my dear rej oined her

’
father b ut they—ain t
, , ,
’
.
,
So the gridiron was put in requisition and the good ,

“
tempered cherub who was often as u n cherubically em ,

-
l e d i n his own fam i ly as if he had been in the employ

'
p y o
ment of so m e of the Old Masters undertook to grill the ,
fowls Indeed except in respect of staring about h im (a

.
,
bra n ch of the public service to which the pictorial cherub is

much addicted ) this domestic cherub discharged as many
,
O d d fu nct i o ns as his prototype ; with the difference say , ,

’
that he performed with a blacking brush on the family s -
boots instead of performing on enormous wind ins truments

,
and double basses and that he conducted himself with

-
,
cheerfu l alacrity to mu ch useful purpose instead o f fore , ,
shortening himself in the air with the vaguest intentions .
B ella helped him with his supplemental cooke r y and ,
made him very happy but put h i m in mortal terror too by ,
asking h i m when they sat down at table again how he sup ,
posed they cooked fowls at the Greenwich dinners and ,
whether he believed they really were such pleasa nt dinners

as people said ? His secret winks and nods O f remon
strance in reply made the mischievous Bella laugh until
, ,
she choked and then Lavinia was obl iged to slap her on the
,
back and then she laughed the more

,
.
But her mother was a fine corrective at the other end of

HOW MRS W IL F E R . E N JO YE D H E RSE L F 53 5
the table to whom her father in the innocence of his good ,
“
fellowship at interv als appealed with :
,
My dear I am ,
afraid you are not enj oying yourself ?

“
Why so R W she would sonorously reply
,
. . .
Because my dear you seem a little out of so r ts

, ,
.
”
Not at all woul d be the rej oinder in exactly the same
, ,
tone .
“
Woul d you tak e a merry th ought my dear -
,
Thank you I will take whatever you please R W .

,
. .
Well but my dear do you like it ?

, , ,
”
I like it as well as I like anything R W The stately ,

. .
woman would then with a meritoriou s appearanc e of de ,
voting herself to the general good pursue h er dinner as if ,
she were feeding somebody else on high public grounds .
Bella had brought dessert and two bottles of wine thus ,
shedding u npre cedented splendour on the occasion Mrs . .
Wilfer did the honours of the first glass by proclaiming

“
R W I drink to you
. .
, .
”
Thank you my dear And I to you , . .
Pa and Ma said Bella .
Permit me Mrs Wilfer interposed with outstretched

,
.
,
glove .No I th i nk not I drank to your Pa If how

. . .
,
ever you insist on including me I can in gratitude o ffer no

, ,
obj ection .
”
“
Why Lor Ma interposed La v vy the bold
, ,
isn t it , ,
’
the day that made you and Pa one and the same I have
”
no patience .
By whatever other circumstances the day may be marked ,
it is not the day Lavinia 0 11 which I will allow a child of

, ,
mine to pounce upon me I beg— nay command that you .

,
-
will not pounce R W it is appropriate to recall that it is

. . .
,
for you to command and fo r me to obey It is your house .

,
and you are master at you r own table Both our healths .
Drinking the toast with tremendous stiffness .
I really am a little afraid my dear hinted the cherub , ,

”
“
meekly that you are not enj oying yourself ?
,
On the contrary returned Mrs Wilfer quite so ,

”
.
,
.
”
Why should I not ?
I thought my dear that perhaps your face might
, ,
My face might be a martyrdom but what would that ,
import or who should know it if I smiled

,
And she did smile ; manifestly freezing the blood of Mr .
George Sampson by so doing F or that young gentleman . ,

catching her smiling eye was so very much appalled by its ,
expression as to cast about in his thoughts concerning wh at

he had done t o bring it down upon himself
‘
“ “ ”
The mind naturally falls said Mrs Wilfer shall I say , .
,
into a reverie or shall I say into a retrospect ? o n a day

,
like this .
La v vy sitting with defiantly folded arms replied (but

, ,
n ot audibly) F or goodness sake say whichever of the two

,
’
you like best Ma and get it over , , .

”
“
The mind purs ued Mrs W i l fe r i n an oratorical manner
,
”
.
,
naturally reverts to Papa and Mamma— I here all ude to

my parents — a t a period before the earliest dawn of this
day I was considered tall ; perhaps I was Papa and
. .
Mamma were u nquestio nably tall I have rarely seen a .
finer woman than my mother never than my father .

”
“
The irrepressible La vv y remarked aloud Whatever ,
grandpapa was he wasn t a female ,

’
.
”
“
Your grandpapa retorted Mrs Wilfer with an awfu l ,
”
.
,
“
look and in an awful tone
,
was what I describe him to ,
have been and would have struck any of his grandchildren

,
to the earth who presumed to question it It was one of .

“
mam m a s cherished hopes that I should become u nited to

’
a tall member of society It may have been a weakness .

,
but if so it was equally the weakness I bel ieve of King

, , ,
F rederick of Prussia These remarks being Offered to .
M r George Sampson who had not the courage to come out

.
,
for single combat but lurked with his chest u nder the table
,
and his eyes cast down Mrs Wilfer proceeded in a voice of ,

.
,
increasing sternness and impressiveness until she should ,
force that skulker to give himself up Mamma would .
appear to have had an i n d e fin a b l e foreboding of what after

wards happened for she would frequently urge upon me , ,
Not a little man Promise me my child not a little man .

, ,
.
Never never never marry a little man ! Papa also would

, ,
’
‘
remark to me (he possessed extraordinary humour) that a ,
’
family of whales must not ally themselves with sprats .
His company was eagerly sought as may be supposed by , ,
the wits of the day an d our house was their continual ,
resort I have known as many as three copper plate e n

.
-
gravers exchanging the most exquisite sallies a n d retorts

there at one time
, (Here Mr Sampson delivered himself
.
”
.
captive and said with an u neasy movement on his chair

, , ,
that three was a large number and it must have been ,

Mrs W i lfe r s o r atory and shadowed on the other by the
.
’
checks and frowns O f the you ng lady to whom he h ad ‘
devoted himself in his destitution the su fferings of this ,
young gen tleman were distressing to witness If his mind .
for the moment reeled u nder them it may b e urged in , ,
extenuation of its weakness that it wa s constitutionally a ,
knock k n eed min d and never very strong u pon its legs
-
, .
The rosy hours were thus beguiled until it was time for
B ella to have Pa s escort back T he dimples duly tied up ’
.
in the bonnet strings and the leave taking done they got
- -
,
out into the air and the cherub drew a l ong breath as if h e
,
found it refreshing .
“ “ ”
Well dear Pa said Bella the anniversary may be con
, , ,
”
s i d e re d over .
“ ’
Yes my dear returned the cherub
,
there s another of, ,
”
’
em gone .
Bella dre w his arm closer through hers as they walked

al ong and gave it a number of consolatory pats
,
Thank .
“
you my dear he said as if she had spoken
, ,
”
I am a ll , ,
right my dear Well a n d how do you get on Bella ?

,
.
, ,
”
I am n o t at all improved Pa ,
.
Ain t you really though

’
NO Pa On the contrary I am worse

,
.
, .
Lor said the cherub .
I a m worse Pa I make so many calculations h ow much

,
.
a year I must have when I marry and what is the least I can ,
manage to do with that I a m beginning to get wrinkles over ,
my nose Did you notice any wrink les over my nose this
.
e v ening Pa ,
Pa laughing at this Bella gave him two or three shakes ,

.
You won t laugh sir when you see your lovely woman
’
, ,
turning haggard You had better be prepared in time I can .

,
tell you I shall not be able to keep my greediness for money

.
’
out of my eyes long and when you see it there y ou ll be ,
sorry and serve you right for not being warned i n time
,
.
Now sir we entered into a bond of confidence Have you

, ,
.
anything to impart ?
I thought it was you wh o was to impart my l ove ,
.
’
Oh did you indeed sir ? Then why didn t you ask me , ,
the moment we came out ? The c on fi d e n c e s of lo vely women

are not to be slighted However I forgive you this once .
, ,
and look here Pa that s — Bella laid the little forefinger of

,
,
’
her right glove on her lip and then laid it on her father s ,
F O UR SE C R E T S FO R P A 53 9
lip that s a kiss for you And now I am going seriously
’
.
to tell you — let me see how many— four secrets M in d ! .
Serious grave weighty secrets

,
Strictly between our
,
.
selves
.
”
Number one my dear said her father settling her arm

, ,
comfortably and confidentially .
“ ”
Number one said Bella will electrify you Pa Wh o
, , , .
do you think has — she was confused here in spite of her

merry way of beg i nn i ng — “
has made an O ffer to me
Pa looked in her face and looked at the ground and looked , ,
in h e r face again and declared he could never guess

,
.
Mr Rok e s m i th
. .
”
”
You don t tell me so my dear !
’
Mis— ter Rok e —smith Pa said Bella separating the

,
”
, , ,
“
syllables for emphasis What do you say to th a t ? .
Pa answered quietly with the counter question What did

“
-
,
y ou say to that my love

I said NO returned Bella sharply
,
,
”
Of Course . .
Yes Of course said her father meditating

.
,
”
,
.
An d I tol d him why I thought it a betrayal of trust on

his part and an a ffront to me said Bell a
, ,
”
.
“
Yes To be sure I am astonished indeed I wonder
. . .
he committed himself without seeing more of his way first .
Now I t hi nk of it I suspect he always h a s admired you ,

”
though my dear
,
.
“
A hackney coachman may admire me remarked B ella , ,
with a touch of her mother s loftiness ’

.
“
It s highly probable my love Number two my dear ?
’
,
.
,
Number two Pa is much to th e same purpose though

, , ,
not so preposterous Mr Lightwood would propose to me, . .
”
if I woul d let him .
’
Then I understand my dear that you don t intend to , ,
let him
“
Bella again saying with her former emphasis Why of , , ,
“
c ourse not ! her father felt him self bound to echo
”
Of ,
course not .
”
I don t care for him said Bella

’
,
.
That s enough her father interposed

’
,
”
.
No Pa it s n ot enough rej oined Bella giving him

, ,
’
,
”
,
“
another shake or two Haven t I told you what a mer .
’
c en ar
y little wretch I am ? It only becomes enou gh when
h e has no money and no clients and no expectations and no
, , ,
anything but debts .

”
Hah said the cherub a little depressed Number , .
three my dear ?
,
“
Number three Pa is a better thing A generou s thing , , .
,
a noble thing a d e l i gh tfu l thi n g Mrs Boffin has herself

, . .
told me as a secret with her own kind l ips — and truer lips
never O pened or closed i n this life I am sure—that they wish
, ,
to see me well married and that when I marry with their

consent they will portion me most handsomely Here the .
”
grateful girl burst out crying very h e artily .
“ ”
Don t cry my darling said her father with his hand to
’
, , ,
“ ’
his eyes it s excusable in me to be a little overcome when
I find that my dear favourite c hild is after all disappoint ,
ments to be so provided for and so raise d in the world but

,
’ ’
don t you cry don t y ou cry I a m very thankful I con
, . .
gratulate you with all my heart my dear The good soft ,

.
little fellow drying his eyes here Bella pu t her ar m s round ,
his neck and tenderly kissed him on the high road passion -
,
ately tell i ng him he was the best of fathers and the best of
friends and that on her wedding morning she would go down
,
-
on her knees to him and beg his pardon for having ever teased
him or seemed insensible to the worth of such a patient ,
sympathetic genial fresh young heart At every one of her

, , .
adjectives she redoubled her kisses and finally kissed his hat ,
off and then laughed immoderately when the wind took it

,
and he ran after it .
When he had recovered his hat and his breath and they ,
were going on again once more said her father then : ,

“ ”
Number four my dear ? ,
“
Bella s countenance fell in the midst of her mirth
’
After .
all perhaps I had better put O ff number fou r Pa Let me

, ,
.
try once mo re if for never so short a time to hope that it

, ,
”
may not really be so .
The change in her strengthened the cherub s in terest in ’
“
number four and he said quietly : May not be so my dear
, ,
May not be how my dear ,
Bella looked at him pensively and shook her head ,

.
And yet I know right well it is so Pa I know it only ,

.
too wel l .
“
My love returned her father you make me quite u m
,
‘
comfortable Have you said NO to anybody else my dear

,
.
,
“
No Pa ,
.
Yes to anybody ? he suggested li fti ng u p his eyebrows ,

.
NO , Pa .
”
C HAPT ER V
THE GOLD E N DUST MAN FAL LS INT O BAD C O MP ANY
WE R E Bella W i l fe r s bright and ready little wits at fault

’
or was the Golden Dustman passing through the furnace of

proof and coming out dross ? Ill news travels fast We .
sha l l know full soon .
On that very night of her return from the Happy Return ,
something chanced which Bella closely followed with her

eyes and ears There was an apartment at the side of the
.
B o ffin mansion known as Mr Bo ffi n s room

,
F ar less grand .
’
.
than the rest of the house it was far more comfortable , ,
being pervaded by a cer ta in a i r of homely snugness which ,
upholstering despotism had banished to that spot when it

i nexo r ably set its face against Mr Bo ffin s appeals for mercy
’
.
in behalf of any other chamber Thus although a room .

,
of modest situatio n — for its windows gave on Silas W e gg s ’
old corner— and O f no pretensions to velvet satin or gilding , , ,
it had got itself established in a domestic position analogous

to that of an easy dressing gown or pair of slippers ; and -
whenever the family wanted to enj oy a particularly pleasant

fireside evening they enj oyed it as an institution that must
, ,
be in M r Bo ffin s room
,
.
’
.
Mr and Mrs Bo ffin were reported sitting in this room

. .
,
when Bella got back Entering it she found the Secretary.

,
there too ; in O fficial attendance it would appear for he was ,
st a nding with some papers in his hand by a table with

shaded candles on it at which Mr Boffi n was seated thrown
, .
back in his easy chair -

.
Y o u are b u sy sir said Bella hesitating at the door

, , , .
Not at all my dear not at all You re one O f ourselves

, ,
.
’
.
We never make company of you Come in come in Here s .

, .
’
the old lady in her usual place .

”
Mrs Bo ffin adding her n od and a smile of welcome to

.
Mr Boffi n s words B ella t ook her book to a chair in the

.
’
,
THE
’
SE CRE TARY S W AG E S 5 43
fireside corner by Mrs Boffin s work table ,
Mr Bo ffi n s .
’
-
. .
’
station was on the O pposite side .
Now Rok e s m i th said the Golden D ustman so Sharply

, ,
”
rapping the table to bespeak his attention as Bella turned

“
the leaves of her book that she Started where were we ,
“
You were saying sir returned the Secretary with an , ,
”
air of some reluctance and a glance towards those others

“
who were present that you considered the time had come ,
for fixing my salary .
“
Don t be above calling it wages man said Mr Boffin
’
, , .
,
testily . What the deuce ! I never talked of my salary

when I wa s in service .
”
“
My wages said the Secreta r y correctin g himself
,
”
,
.
Ro k e s m i th you are not proud I hope ? observed Mr

”
.
, ,
Boffin eyeing him askance

, .
“
I hope not sir ,
.
Because I never was when I was poor said Mr Bo ffin , ,

. .
’
Poverty and pride don t go at all well together M i nd .
that How can they go well together ? Why it stands to

.
,
reason A man being poor has nothing to be prou d of

. .
’ ”
It s nonsense .
With a slight inclination o f his head and a look of some ,
surprise the Secretary seemed to assent by forming the

,
syllables of the word nonsense on his lips ”

.
Now concerning these same wages said Mr Bo ffin

, ,
”
. .
Sit down .
”
The Secretary sat down .
Why didn t you sit down before ? asked Mr Boffi n

’ ”
.
dis trustfu lly I hope that wasn t pride

. But about these ’
wages Now I ve gone into the m a tter and I say two

.
,
’
hu ndred a year What do you think of it ? Do you think.
it s enough
’
Thank you It is a fair prop osal . .
I don t say you know Mr Bo ffin stipulated but what

’
, ,
”
.
,
it may be more than enough And I ll tell y o u why .

’
Ro k e s m i th A man of property like me is bou nd to con

.
, ,
sider the market price At first I didn t enter into that as -

.
’
much as I might have done ; but I ve got acquainted with ’
other men of property since and I ve got acquainted with ,

’
the duties of property I mu stn t go putti n g the market .

’
price up because money may happen not to be an obj ect

,
with me A sheep is worth so much in the market and

.
,
I ought to give i t and no more A secreta r y is worth so .

much i n the market and I ought to give it a n d no more , .
”
However I do n t mind stretching a point with you
,
’
.
“
Mr Bo tfin you are very good replied the Secretary ,
.
, ,
with an effort .
‘
Then we put the figu r e said Mr Bo ffin at two , .
,
hundred a year Then the fig u r e s disposed of Now there .

’
.
must be no m i sunderstanding regarding what I buy for two

hundred a year If I pay for a sheep I buy it out and .
,
out . Si m ilarly if I pay for a secretary I buy h im out , ,

”
and out .
I n other words you purchase my whole time ,

“
Certainly I do Look here said Mr Boffin it ain t .
,
”
.
,
’
that I want to occupy you r whole time ; y ou can take up

’
a book for a minute o r two when you ve nothing better
’
to do though I think you ll a m o s t always fin d something
,
’
useful to do Bu t I want to keep you in attendance It s

. .
’
convenient to have you at all times ready on the premises .
Therefore betwixt your breakfast and your supper — o u the

, ,
premises I expect to find you .
The Secre tary bowed .
In bygone days when I was in service m yself said Mr , , .
“
Bo ffin
’
I couldn t go cutting about at my will and pleasure ,
,
and you won t expect to go cutting about at your will an d

’
’
pleasure You ve rather got into a habit of that lately ;
.
,
but perhaps it was for want of a right specification betwixt

us Now let there be a right specification betwixt us and
.
,
let it be this If you want leave ask for it .

,
.
Again the Secretary bo wed His manner was u neasy and .
astonished and showed a sense of humiliation

I ll have a bell s a i d Mr Boffin hung from this room to
, .
“ ’ “ ” ‘
.
, ,
’
yours and when I want you I ll touch it I don t call to mind
,
’
.
”
that I have anything more to say at the present moment .
The Secretary rose gathered up his papers and withdrew , , .
Bella s eyes fo l lowed him to the door lighted on Mr Boffin

’
,
.
complacently thrown back in his easy chair and droope d -

,
over her book .
“
I have let that chap that young man of mine said , ,
“
Mr Boffin taking a trot up and down the room
.
,
get ,
’
above his work It won t do I must have h i m down a . .
peg A man of property owes a duty to other men of

.
property and mu st look sharp after his inferiors

, .
B ella felt that Mrs Bo ffi n was not comfortable and that .

,
the eyes of that good creature sought to d iscover from her

546 O UR MUTU AL F RI END
AS to Rok e s m i th that young man of mine said Mr , , .
Bo ffin dropping his voice and glancing toward s the door wi th

,
an app ehension o f being overheard by Some eavesdroppe r

r
-
“ ’
there it s the same with him as with the footmen I have
, .
found out that you must either sc r unch them or le t them ,
scrunch you If you ain t imperious with em they won t

.
’
.
’
,
’
believe in your being any better than themselves if as good , ,
after the stories (lies mostly) that they have heard of you r
beginnings There s nothing betwixt stiffening yourself up
.
’
and throwing yourself away : take my word for that O l d lady ,

.
”
Bella ventured for a moment to look steal thily towards him .
u nder her eyelashes an d she saw a dark clou d of suspicion , ,
covetousness and Conceit overshadowi ng the once O pen face

, ,
.
“ ’
Hows ever said he ’
this isn t entertainin g to Miss
, ,
B ella Is it B ella ?
.
,
A deceiving Bella she was to look at him wi th that ,
pensively abstracted air as if her mind were full of her book , ,
and s h e h a d not heard a Single word

l .
Hah ! Better employed than to atte nd to it said Mr ,

.
“
Bo ffin That s right that s right Especially as you have
’ ’
. .
,
”
no call to be told how to value you rself my dear ,
.
Colouring a little under this compliment Bella returned , ,
I hope sir you d on t think m e vain

, ,
’
Not a bit my dear said Mr Boffin ,

But I think it s ,
. .
’
very creditable in yo u at you r age to be so well up with the , ,
pace of the world and to know what to g o in for You are ,

'
Go in for money my love M oney s the article You ll ,

.
’
.
’
make money of your good looks and of the money Mrs ,

.
Bo ffin and me will have the pleasure of settli ng upon you and ,
you ll live and die rich That s the state to live and die in
’
.
’
said Mr Boffin i n an unctuous manner R— r — rich

‘
. .
,
There was an expression of distress in Mrs Bo ffin s face as .

’
, ,
after watchi ng her husband s she turned to their adopted ’
,
“ ”
girl and said
,
Don t mind him Bella my dear ’
, ,
.
“ “
Eh ? cried Mr Bofli n What Not m i nd h im ? . .
I don t mean that said Mrs Boffi n with a worried look

’
,
”
.
, ,
but I mean d on t believe him to be a h y th i n g but good and

’
generous Bella because he I s the best of men N

,
o I must .
,
, ,
’
say that much Noddy Y o u are always the best of men
,
. .
She made the declaration as if he were obj ecting to it

which assuredly he was not in any way .
“
And as to you my dear Bella said Mrs Boffin Still w i th , ,
.
,
“
that distressed expression , he I s so much attached to you ,
M O N EY S THE A RTI C LE 5 47
whatever he says that your own father has not a truer ,
interest in you and can hardly l i ke you better than h e does .

”
‘
Says too cried Mr Bo fii n Whatever he says Why . .
,
I s a y so openly Give me a k iss my dear child in saying

,
.
, ,
Good night and let me confirm what my old lady tells you
, .
I am very fond of you my d ear and I am entirely of your , ,
mind and you and I will take care that you shall be rich
, .
These good looks of yours (which you have some right to be

v ain of my dear though you are not y o u know ) are worth
, , ,
money and you shall make money of em The money you

,
’
.
will have will be worth money and you shall make money
, ,
’
of that too There s a golden ball at your feet Good night
. .
,
”
m y dear .
Somehow Bella was not so well pleased with this assurance

,
and this prospect as she might have been Somehow when .

,
she put her arms round Mrs Boffin s neck and said Good .
’
ni ght she derived a sense of unworthiness from the still

,
anxious face of that good woma n and her obviou s wish to

“ ”
excuse her husband Why what need to excu se h im ? .
,
“
thought Bella sitting down in her own room , What h e .
said was very sensible I am sure and very true I am sure , , ,

.
It is only what I often say to myself Don t I l i ke it then .

’
’
No I don t like it and though he is m y liberal benefactor
, , , ,
I disparage him for it Then pray said Bella sternly putting .

,
”
,
“
the question to herself in the looking glass as u sual what -
,
do you mean by this y ou inconsistent little Beast ,
The looking glass preserving a discreet ministerial silence

-
when thus called upon for explanation Bella went to bed with ,
a weariness upon her spirit which was more than the weari
ness of want of sleep And again in the m orning she looked .
,
for the cloud and for the deepening of the cloud upon the
, ,
Golden Dustman s face ’

.
She h ad begun by this time to be his frequent companion

in his morning strolls about the streets and it was at this ,
time that he made her a party to his engaging in a curiou s

pursuit Having been hard at work in one dull enclosure all
.
his life he had a child s delight in looking at shops It had

,
’
.
been one of the first novelties and pleas u res of his freedom ,
and was equally the delight of his wife F or m a ny years .
their only walks in London had been taken on Sundays when

the shops were shut and when every day in the week became
their holiday they derived an enj oyment from the variety and
,
fancy and beauty of the display in the windows which seemed ,

inca pable of exhaustion As if the principal streets were a .
great Theatre and the play were chil dishly new to them Mr , .
and Mrs Boffin from the beginn i ng of B ell a s intimacy in

.
,
’
their h ouse had been constantly in the front row charmed

, ,
with all they saw and applau ding vigorously But now Mr
, . .
Bo ffin s interest began to centre i n book shops

’
and more -
than that for that of itself would not have been much — in
-
one exceptional kind of book .
“
Look in here my dear Mr Bofii n would say checking
, , .
,
’
B ella s arm at a bookseller s window
’
you can read at sight ,
and your eyes are as sharp as they re bright Now look well ’
.
,
about you my dear and te ll me if you see an y book about a

, ,
Miser .
If Bella saw such a book Mr Boffin w oul d i nstantly dart , .
in and buy it And stil l if they had not found it they

.
, ,
would seek out another book shop and Mr Bo ffin would say -
,
.
,
Now l ook well all ro u nd my dear for a Life of a Miser o r

, , , ,
any book of that sort ; any Lives of odd characters who may
”
have been Misers .
Bella thus directed would examine the wi n dow with the

, ,
greatest attention while Mr Boffin would examine her face

,
. .
The moment she pointe d out any book as being entitled

Lives of eccentric personages Anecdotes of strange characters , ,
Re cord s of remarkable individuals or anything to that ,
purpose Mr Bo ffin s countenance woul d light up and he

,
.
’
would instantly dart in and buy it Size price quality .

, , ,
were of no account Any book that seemed to promise a .
chance O f miserly biography Mr Bofii n purchased without a ,

.
moment s delay and carried home Happening to be informed

’
.
by a bookseller that a portion of the Annual Register was

devoted to Characters Mr B offin at once bought a whole ,
”
.
set of that ingenious compilation and began to carry it home ,
piecemeal c on fid i n g a volume to Bella and bearing three

, ,
himself The completion of this labou r occupied them about

.
a fortnight When the task was done Mr Boffin with his

.
,
.
,
appetite for Misers whetted in stead of satiated began to look ,
out again .
It very soon became unnecessary to tell Bella what to look

for and an understanding was established between h er and
,
Mr Boffin that she was always to look for Lives of Misers

. .
Morning after morning they roamed about the town together ,
pursuing this singular research Miserly literature not being .
abundant the proportion of failures to successes may have

,
D OW N AM O NG THE MI SE R S 55 1
been as a hundred to one ; still Mr Boffin never wearied .

, ,
remained as avaricious for misers as he had been at the first

onset It was curious that Bella never saw the books about
.
the house nor did she ever hear from Mr Boffin one word
,
.
of reference to their contents He s e e m e d to save u p his

’ '
Misers as they had saved up their money; As they had been

greedy for it and secret about i t and had hidden it so he
, , ,
was gr e e d y for them and secret about them and hid them
‘
, ,
But beyon d a l l doubt it was to be noticed a nd was by Bella ,
very clearly noticed that as he pursued the acquisition of , ,
those dismal records with the ardou r O f Don Quix ote for his
books of chivalry he began to spend his money with a more,
Sparing hand And O ften when h e came out of a shop with

.
some new account O f one of those wretched lunatics she ,
would almost shrink from the sly dry chuckle with which he
would take her arm again and trot away It did n ot appear .
that Mrs Bo fii n knew of this taste He made n o allusion

. .
to it except in the morning walks when he and Bella were

,
always alone ; and Bell a, partly un der the impression that

he took her i nto his confidence by implication and partly in ,
’
remembrance of Mrs Bo ffin s anxiou s face that night hel d .
,
the same reserve .
While these occurrences were in progress Mrs La m m l e ,

.
made the di scovery that Bella had a fascinating influence

over her The La m m l e s originally presented by the dear
.
,
Veneerings visited the Bofii n s on all grand occ asions an d

, ,
Mrs La m m l e had not previously found this out ; but now

.
-
'
the knowledge came upon her all at once It was a most .
extraordina r y thing (she said to Mrs BOfii n ) ; she was

'
foolishly susceptible O f the power of beauty but it wasn t ,

’
altogether that ; she never had been able to resist a natural

’
grace of manner but it wasn t altogether that it was more
,
than that and there was n o name for the indescribabl e

,
extent and degree to which she was captivated by this

charmin g girl .
This charming girl having the words repeated t o her by

Mrs Bofli n (who was proud of her being admired and would
.
,
have done anything to give her pleasure) naturally recognised ,
in Mrs La m m l e a woman Of penetration a n d taste R e

.
'
.
s p on d i n
g to the sentime n ts by bein g very gracious to Mrs
‘
La m m l e she gave that lady the means of so improvin g her

,
opportunity as that the ca ptivation became reciprocal though

, ,
always wearing an appe aran ce of greater sobriety on Bella s ’

55 2 O UR MU TUAL F RI E ND
t th a n
on the enthusiastic Sophron i a s Howbeit they
‘
p a r .
,
were so much together that for a time the Bo ffin chari ot '
held Mrs La m m l e O ftener than Mr s Bo fli n : a preference of

, ,
. .
which the latter worthy soul was not in the least j ealous .
,
“
placidly remarking Mrs La m m l e is a younger companion , .
'
’
for her than I am and Lor she s more fashionable ,
.
”
B u t between Bella Wilfer a n d Georgiana Podsnap there

was this one difference among many others that Bella was , ,
in no dan ger of being captivated by Alfred She distrusted .
and d isliked h i m Indeed her perception was so quick and .

, ,
h e r O bservation so sharp that after all she m i strusted his ,
wife too though with her giddy vanity and wilfulness s h e

,
squeez e d the mistrust away into a corner of her mind and .
blocked it up there .
Mrs La m m l e took the friendliest interest in Bella s making ’
a good match Mrs La m m l e said in a sportive way she

.
.
,
-
.
,
really mu st show h e r beautifu l Bella what kind of wealthy

creatures she and Alfred had on hand who would as one ,
man fall at her fe et e n slaved Fitting occasion made Mrs ; .

,
La m m l e accordingly produced the most passable of those

feveri sh boastful an d i n d e fin a b l y l oose gentl emen who were
, ,
always lounging in and out of the City on questions O f the

Bourse and Greek and Spanish and India and Mexican and
par and premium and discount a n d three quarters and seven
'
-
eighths Who in their agreeable manner did homage to

.
Bella as if she were a compound of fine girl thorough bred ,

-
hors e well built drag and remarkable pipe But without

,
“
-
, .
the least effect though even Mr Fl e d g e b y s attractions were

,
.
’
cast into the scale .
“
I f ear Bella dear, said Mrs La m m l e o n e day in the
,
.
“ ”
chariot that you will be very hard to please
,
-
.
“
I don t expect to be pl eased dear said Bell a with a
’
, , ,
languid turn of her eyes .
“
Truly my love ret urned Sophronia shaki ng her head
, ,
”
, ,
“
and smiling her best smile it would not be very easy to ,
find a man worthy of your attractions .
The question is not a m a n my dear said Bella coolly , , , ,
but an establishment .
“ “
My love returned Mrs La m m l e your prudence amazes
,
”
.
,
me — where d id you study life so well you are right In -

.
such a case as yours the O bj ec t is a fittin g establishment ,

.
You could not descend t o an inadequate one from Mr .
Bo ffin s h ouse and even if your beauty alone could n o t

’
,
554 OU R MUTUAL F RIE ND
Never m ind Sophronia we wil l not spe ak of it any more
, , .
”
Don t ask me about it
’
.
This plai n ly meaning DO ask me about it Mrs La m m l e , .
did as she was requeste d .
Tell me Bella Come my dear What provoking burr

,
.
,
.
has been inconveniently attracted to the charm i ng skirts and ,
with difficulty shaken O ff

“ ”
Provokin g i ndeed said Bella and no burr to boast , ,
Of But don t ask me ’

.
“
Shal l I guess ?
You would never guess What would you say to o ur .
Secretary
“
My dear ! The hermit Secretary who cre eps up an d ,
down the back stairs an d i s never see n ,

“
I don t kn ow about his creep i ng up and down the back
’
“
stairs said Bell a rather contemptuously
,
further than
, ,
knowing that he does no such thi ng ; and as to his never

being see n I sho ul d be content never to have seen him
, ,
though he is q u ite as visible as you are But I plea sed h im .
(for“ my sins) and he had the presumption to t ell me so

,
.
The man never made a declaration to you my dear ,
B ella
“ ”
Are y ou sure of that Sophronia ? said Bella I am , .
not In fact I am sure of the contrary

.
,
.
”
The man mu st be mad sai d Mrs La m m l e with a kin d ,

”
.
,
of resignation .
“
He appeared to be in his s enses returned Bella tossing , ,
her head and he had plenty to say for hi mself I told h im

, .
my opinion of his declaration and his conduct and dismissed ,
h im . Of course this has all bee n very inconve ni en t to me ,
and very disagreeable It has remained a secret however .

, .
That word reminds me to ob s erve Sophronia that I have , ,
gl ided on i nto telli ng you the secret and that I rely upon ,
you never to mention it .

”
“
Mention it ! repeate d Mrs La m m l e with her former
”
.
“ ”
feelin g Men tion it !
.
-
This time Sophroni a was so much in earnest that she found

it necessary to bend forward in the carriage and give Bella a
kiss A Judas order of kiss for she th ought while she yet
.
,
“
pressed Be l la s hand after gi v ing it Upon your own show
’
ing you va i n heartless gi r l puffed up by the doting folly Of

, ,
a d ustman I nee d have no relentin g towards you

,
If my .
husband, who sends me here shoul d form any schemes for ,

BE LLA AND THE SE CR E TARY 55 5
making y ou a victim I should certainl y not cross h im again
, .
In those very same moments B ella was thin king “

Why , ,
am I always at war with myself ? Why have I told as if ,
upon compulsion what I knew a l l along I o u ght to have

,
withheld Why am I making a friend of this wom a n b eside

me in s pite of the wh i spers against her that I hear in my
,
heart
As usual there was no answer in the lookin g glass when
,
-
she got home and referr ed these qu estions to it Perhaps if .
she had consulted some better oracle the result might have ,
been more satisfactory but she did not and all things con ,
sequent marched the march before them .
On one point conn ected with the watch she kept on Mr .
Bo ffin she felt very inquisitive and that was the question
, ,
whether the Secretary watched him too an d followed the sure ,
and steady change in h im as she did ? Her very limited ,
intercourse with Mr Ro k e s m i th rendered this hard to find

.
out Their commu nication now at no time extended beyon d

.
the preserv ation of comm onplace appearances before Mr and .
Mrs Boffin ; and if Bella and the Secretary were ever left
'
alone together by any chance he immediately withdrew , .
She consulted his face when she could do so covertly as sh e ,
worked or read and co u ld make nothing of it He looked

, .
subdued but he had acquired a strong com mand O f feature ,
and whenever Mr Boffin spoke to him in Bell a s presence or

,
.
’
whatever revelation O f himself Mr Bo fii n made the Secretary s .

,
’
face changed no more than a wall A sli ghtly knitted brow .

,
that expressed nothing but an almost mechanical attention ,
and a compression of the mouth that might have been a

guard against a scornful smile— these she saw from mornin g
,
to night from day to day fr om week to week monotonous

, , , ,
unvary i ng set as in a piece of sculpture

, , .
The worst of the matte r was that it thus fell out insensibly
—and most provokingly as Bella complain ed to herself in
,
h e r impetu ous little manner—that her Obse r vation of Mr

, ,
Boffin involved a continu al O bserv ation of Mr Rok e s m i th

—
. .
“ ’ “ ”
Won t th a t extract a look from him ? Can it be
possible th a t makes no impression on hi m Such questions
Bella would propose to her self O ften as man y times in a day ,
as there were hours in it Impossible to know Always the

. .
same fixed face .
“
Can he be so base as t o sell hi s ve ry nature for two
hundred a year ? Bella would think And then But wh y
“
.
,
.
55 6 O UR MUTU AL F RIE ND
’
not It s a mere question of price with others bes ides him .
I suppose I would sell mine if I co uld get enough for ,
And so she would come round again to the war with herself .
A kind of ill egibility though a different kind stole over , ,
Mr Boffin s face Its old simplicity of expression got masked

.
’
.
by a certain craftiness that ass i m i lated even his good humour -
to itself His very smile wa s cunni ng as if he had been

.
,
studying smiles among the portraits of his misers Sa v ing .
an occasional burst of impatience or coarse assertion of his ,
mastery his good hu mour remain ed to him but it had now

,
-
,
a sordid al loy of distrust ; and though his eyes should

twinkle and all his face should laugh he would sit holdi ng ,
himself in his own arms , as if he had an inclination to hoard

himself up and must always grudgingly stand on the
,
defensive .
What with taking heed of these two faces an d what with ,
feeling cons cious that the stealthy occupation must set some
mark on her own Bella soon began to thi nk that there was ,
not a candid or a natural face among them all but Mrs .
Bo fI i n s
’
None the less b ecause it was far less radiant than
’
.
of yore faithfu lly reflecting in its anxiety and regret every

,
li ne of change i n the Golden D ustman s ’

.
Ro k e s m i th said Mr Bo ffin one even i ng when they were

”
.
,
all in his room again and he and the Secre tary had been ,
goin g over some accoun ts I am spending too much money , .
’
Or leastways you are spending too much for me ,
.
’
You are rich sir ,
.
I am not said Mr Boffi n ,

”
. .
The sharpness of the retort was next to telling the Secre

tary that he lied Bu t it brought no change Of expression .
into the set face .
“ “
I tell y o u I a m not rich repeated Mr Boffin and I ,
.
,
”
won t have it
’
.
“
You are not rich s ir repeated the Secretary in , ,
measured words .
“ “
Well re turn e d Mr Bofii n ,
”
if I am that s my busin ess .
, ,
’
.
I am not going to spe nd at this rate to please you or any ,

’
body You wouldn t like it if it was your money
.
’
,
.
Even i n that impossible case s i r I , ,

’
Hol d your tongue ! said Mr Boffin You oughtn t ”
. .
’
t o like it in any case There ! I didn t mean to be rude . ,
’ ’
but you put me out so and after all I m master I didn t ,
.
intend to tell you to hold your tongue I be g your pardon . .

Th e fu rniture in my room s is my own .
’
Then we shan t have to buy any for you In case y ou .
was to think it said Mr Boffin with a l ook O f peculiar,

”
.
,
shrewdness s o honourably in dependent in you as to make

,
it a relief to your mind to make that fu rniture over to me

in the light O f a set O ff against the quarter s rent why ease -
’
, ,
your mind ease your mind I don t ask it but I won t stand
,
.
’
,
’
in your way if you should consider it d u e to yourself As .
to your room choose any empty room at the top of the

,
”
house .
‘
Any empty room will do for me said the Secretary ,
.
“
You can take your pick said Mr Boffin and it will ,
”
.
,
be as good as eight or ten shillings a week added to your

’
income I won t deduct for it ; I look to you to make it up
.
handsomely by keeping the expenses down Now if you ll .

’
show a light I ll come to your O ffic e room and d i spose of a

,
’
-
letter o r two .
”
On that clear generous face of Mrs Bo ffin s Bell a had

,
.
’
seen such traces of a pang at the heart while this dialogue

was being held that she had not the courage to turn her
,
eyes to it when they were left alo ne F eigning to be intent .
on her embroidery she sat plying her needle until her busy ,
hand was stopped by Mrs Bo ffin s hand being lightly laid .

’
up on it Yielding to the touch she felt her hand carried

.
,
to the good soul s lips a n d felt a tear fall on it ’
, .
”
Oh my loved husband ! said Mrs Bo ffin
,
This is . .
hard to see and hear Bu t my dear Bella believe me that .

, ,
in Spite of all the change in him he is the best of men , .
He came back at the moment when Bella had taken the

hand comfortingly between her own .
“ ”
Eh ? said he mistrustfully looking in at the door , .
What s she telling you

’
“ ’
She s only praising you sir said Bella , , .
Praising me ? You are sure ? Not blaming me for

standing on my own defence against a crew of plunderers ,
who would su ck me dry by driblets ? Not blaming me for .
getting a little hoard together

He came up to them and his wife folded her hands upon ,
his shoulder and shook h e r head as she laid it on her hands

, .
“
There there there ! urged Mr Boffin not unkindly
, ,
”
.
,
.
Don t take on O l d lady

’
, .
“
But I can t bear to see you s o my dear ’
, .
Nonsense Recollect we are not our old selves Re c ol .

THE CH ANG E IN MR . B O FFIN 559
lect we must scrunch or be scru nched Recollect we mu s t
,
.
,
hold our own Recollect money m akes money Don t you

.
,
.
’
’
be uneasy Bella my child don t you be doubtful The more
, ,
.
I save the more you shall have

,
.
Bella thought it was well for his wife that she was musing
with her a ffectionat e face on his shoulder ; for there was a
cunning light in his eyes as he said all this which seemed
,
to cast a disagreeable illumination on the change in him ,
and make it morally uglier .

C HAPT ER VI
THE G OLDE N DUSTMAN F ALL S INTO W OR SE C OMP ANY
I T had come to pass that Mr Silas W e gg now rarely attended .
the minion O f fortune and the worm O f the hour at his ,
(the worm s and minion s) own house but lay under general
’ ’
instructio ns to await him within a certain margin of hours

at the Bower Mr W e gg took this arrangement in great
. .
dudgeon because the appointed hours were evening hours

, ,
and those he considered precious to the progress of the

friendly move But it was qu ite in character he bitterly
.
,
remarked to Mr Venus that the upstart who h ad trampled

.
,
on those eminent creatures Miss Elizabeth Master George , , ,
Aunt Jane and Uncle Parker should oppress his literary

, ,
man .
The Roman Empire having worked ou t its destruction ,
Mr Bofii n next appeared in a cab with Rollin s Ancient

.
’
History which valuable work being found to possess lethargic

,
properties broke down at about the period when the whol e

,
of the army of Alexander the Macedonian (at that time

about forty thousand strong) burst into tears simultaneously
on his being taken with a shivering fit after bathing The .
Wars of the Jews likewise languishing under Mr W e g g s .

’
generalship Mr Bo ffin arrived in another cab with Plutarch

,
.
whose Lives he found in the sequel extremely entertaining ,
though he hoped Plutarch might not expect him to believe

them all W hat to believe in the course of his reading was
.
, ,
Mr Bofii n s chief literary difficulty indeed ; for some time

.
’
he was divided in his mind between half all or none ; at , ,
length when he decided as a moderate man to compound

, , ,
with half the question still remained wh ich half ? An d

, ,
that stumbling block he never got over -

.
One evening when Silas W e gg had grown accustomed to

,
the arrival of his patron in a cab accompanied by some ,
profane historian charged with unutterable names O f i n c o m

prehensible peoples of impossible descent waging wars any
, ,
his observation of some little que r ulousness on the part of
Venus .
“
Why as to the friendly move observed the last named
, ,
-
“
gentleman rubbing his knees peevishly one of my o bj e c
, ,
tions to it is that it d on t move ,

’
.
”
Rome brother return e d W e gg : a city which (it m a y

, ,
not be generally known ) origi nated in twins and a wolf a n d ,

’
ended in Imperial marbl e wasn t bu ilt in a day , .
”
Did I say it was asked Venus .
NO you did not brother Well inquired

, , . .
“
B ut I do say pro ceeded Venu s that I am taken from ,
”
among my trophies O f anatomy am called upon to exchange ,
my human wa r i o u s for m ere c oal ashes wa r i ou s and nothing -

,
”
comes O f it I think I must give up . .
No sir ! remonstrated W e gg enthusiastically

,
No sir ! , .
,
‘
Ch a rge Ch es te r c h a rge
On Mr V en u s o n !
, , ,
’
.
, ,
Never say die s i r ! A man of you r mark ! ,

”
“
It s not so m u ch saying it that I obj ect to returned Mr
’
,
.
“
Venu s as doing it
,
And havi ng got to do it whether or .
no I can t a ff ord to waste m y time o n groping for nothing

,
’
in cinders .
”
“
B ut think h ow little time you have given to the move ,
s i r after all
,
urged W e gg Add the evenings so occupied
’
.
together an d what d t e y come to

,
And you sir harmon , ,
i z e r wit h myself in O p i n i ons views an d feelings you with , , ,
the patience to fit together on wires the whole framework

of society I allude to the human s k e li n ton — you to give in
so soon
I don t like it returned Mr Ven u s moodily as he put
’
, .
,
his head between h i s knees and stuck up his dusty hair .
”
And there s no encouragement to go on ’
.
Not them Mounds without said Mr W e gg extending ,

”
. ,
his right hand with an air of solemn reasoning encourage ,
ment Not them Mounds now looking down upon us ?

“ “ ” ’
They re too big gru mbled Ve nus What s a scratch
’
.
,
here and a scrape there a poke in this place and a dig in the .
other to them
. Besides : what have we found
“
What h a ve we found cried W e gg delighted to be abl e ,
to acquiesce Ah There I grant you comrade Nothing

.
,
. .
But o n the contrary comrade what ma y we find ? There , ,
you ll grant m e
’
Anything . .
A P IL E O F BO O KS 6
5 3
I d on t l i ke it pettishly returned Venus as before
’
I , .
came i nto it without enough consideration And besides .
again Isn t your o wn Mr Boffin well acquainte d with the

.
’
.
’
Moun ds And wasn t he well acquainted with the deceased
and his ways An d has he ever showed any expectation of
finding anythi ng
At that moment wheels were heard .
“
Now I should be loth said Mr W e gg with an air of ,
”
.
,
“
patient injury to think so ill of him as to suppose him
,
capable O f coming at this time of night And yet it sounds .
like him .
A rin g at the yard bell .
“
It i s him said Mr W e gg an d he i s capable of it
,
”
.
, .
I am sorry because I could have wished to keep up a little

,
”
lingeri ng fragment of respect for him .
Here Mr Bo ffin was heard lust ily calling at the yard gate
.
,
Halloa ! W e gg ! Halloa !
Keep your seat Mr Venus said W e g g “
He may not ,
.
,
.
stop . And then called out Halloa sir ! Halloa ! I m , ,

’
with you directly sir ! Half a minute Mr Bofii n Coming , ,

. .
,
sir as fast as my leg will bring me

,
An d so with a show
of much cheerful ~ alacrity stumped out to the gate with a
light and there thr ough the window of a cab descried Mr
, , , .
Boffin inside blocked up with books ,

.
“
Here ! lend a hand W e gg said Mr Bo ffin excitedly , ,
”
.
,
I can t get out till the way is cleared for me This is the
’
.
Annual Register W e gg in a cabful of wo ll u m e s DO you , , .
know him
Know the Animal Register sir returned th e Impostor , ,
“
who had caught th e name imperfectl y F or a trifling .
wager I think I coul d find any Animal in him blindfold

, , ,
Mr Bo ffin
. .
”
“ ’
And here s Kirby s Wonderfu l Museum said Mr Boffin
’
, .
,
and C a u lfie ld s Characters and Wilson s Such Characters

’
,
’
.
,
W e gg such Characters
,
I must have one or two of the best
’
of em to night It s amazing what places they used to put
-
.
’
the guineas in wrapped up in rags Catch hold of that pile

, .
of wol l u m e s W e gg or it ll bulge out and bu rst into the

, ,
’
mud Is there any one about to help

.
,
“
There s a friend Of mine sir that had the intenti on Of
’
Spend i ng the evening with me when I gave you u p — much

,
against my will — for the night .

”
Call him out cried Mr Bo ffin in a bustle get him to , .

6
bear a hand Don t drop th at one under your arm It s
.
’
.
’
Dancer Him and his sister made pies of a dead sheep th ey

.
found when they were out a wal king Where s your friend -
.
’
Oh here s your friend Would you be so good as help W e gg

,
’
.
and myself with these b ooks But don t take J emmy Taylor ’
of Southwark nor yet J emmy Wood of Gloucester These

, .
are the two J emmys I ll carry them myself .

’
.
”
Not ceasing to talk and bustle in a state of great excite ,
ment Mr Bo ffin directed the removal and arran gement of the

,
.
books appearing to b e in some sort beside him self until they

,
were all deposited on the floor and the cab was dismissed , .
“ “
There ! said Mr Boffin gloating over them
”
There .
,
.
they are like the four and twenty fid d l e r s — all of a row

,
- -
.
Get on your spectacles W e gg ; I know where to find the ,
best O f em and we ll have a taste at once O f what we have

’
,
’
got before us What s your frien d s name ’ ’
Mr W e gg presented h i s friend as Mr V e n u s
.
. . .
_
“
Eh cried Mr Boffin catching at the name .
“
, .
Clerkenwell
Of Clerkenwell s ir said Mr Venu s , , . .
“
Why I ve heard Of you cried Mr Boffin
,
’
I heard of , . .
you in the Ol d man s t i me You knew him Did you ever ’

. .
buy anything of him With piercing eagerness

“
NO sir returned Venus

, ,
”
.
But he showed you things didn t he ’
Mr Venus with a glance at his fr iend replied in the

.
, ,
affirmative .
“
What did he sho w you ? asked Mr Boffin putting his ”
.
,
“
hands behind him and eagerly advancing his head ,
Did .
he show you boxes little cabinets pocket books parcels , ,

-
, ,
anything locked or seal ed anyth i ng tied up ,
Mr Venus shook his head

. .
Are you a judge of china

Mr Venus again shook his head
. .
“
Because if he had ever showed you a teapot I should be ,
glad to know O f it said Mr Boffin And then with his ,

”
. .
,
“
right hand at his lips repeated thoughtfully A Teapot , , ,
a Teapot and glanced over the books on the floor as if

,
”
,
he knew there was something interesting connected with a

teapot somewhere among them .
Mr W e gg and Mr Venus looked at one another wonder

. .
i n gl y : and Mr W e gg in fittin g on his spectacles opened h is

.
, ,
eyes wide over their rims and tapped the side of his nose : ,
’
B ob the Miser s cur Griffiths and his Ma ster How to
,
. .
turn a penny A substitute for a F ire The Ad v an ta ge s o f

'
. .
keeping a Snu ff box The Miser dies without a Shirt The

-
. .
Treasures of a Dunghill
“ ‘
Eh What s that ? demanded Mr Bo fii n
’
. .
‘
The Treasures sir repeated S i las reading very d is
,
’
, ,
’
ti n c tl y ,
of a Dunghill Mr Venus sir would you . .
, ,
o b l e e g e with the snu ffers ? This to secure attention to ”
“ ”
his adding with his li ps only Mounds ! ,
Mr Boffin drew an arm chair into the space where he

.
-
stood and said seating him self and slyly rubbing his hands
, ,
”
Give u s Dancer .
Mr W e g g pursued the biography of that eminent man

.
through its various phases of avarice and dirt through Miss ,
Dancer s death on a sick regimen of cold dumplin g and

’
through Mr Dancer s keeping his rags together with a hay

.
’
band and warming his dinner by sitting upon it down t o

, ,
the consolatory incident of hi s dying naked in a sack After .
which he read on as follows :

‘
The house or rather the heap of r uins in which Mr
, , .
Dan c er lived and which at his death devolved to the right

,
of Captain Holmes was a most miserable decayed building

, , ,
’
for it had not been repaired for more than half a century .
(Here Mr W e gg eyed his comrade and the room in which

.
they sat which had not been repaired for a long time ) .
But though poor i n external structure the rui nous ,
fabric was very rich in the interior It took many weeks to .
explore its whole contents and Captain Holmes found it a ,

’ ’
very agreeable task to dive into the mis er s secret hoards .
(Here Mr W e gg repeate d secret hoards and pegged his

’
.
,
comrade again ) .
One of Mr Dancer s richest e s c r e toi r e s was foun d to be

.
’
a dungheap in the cowhouse ; a s u m but little short of two

thousand five hundred pounds was containe d in this rich
piece of manure ; and in a n Ol d j acket carefully tied and , ,
strongly nailed down to the manger in bank notes and gold ,
were found five hundred pounds more .

’
(Here Mr W e g g s wooden leg star ted forward under the

’
.
table an d slowly elevated itself as he read on )

, .
‘
Several bowls were discovered filled with guineas and
half guineas and at different times on searching the corners
-
of the house they found various parcels of bank notes Some .
were c ra mmed into the crevices of the wall

HUM AN MAG PI ES 6
5 7
(Here Mr Venus looked at the wall )
. .
Bundles were hid under the cu s hions and c o vers of the

chairs
(Here Mr Venus looked under himself on the settle )
. .
Some were reposing snugly at the back of the drawers ;

and notes amounting to six hundred pou nds were found
n eatly db u bl e d up in the in s ide of an O ld teapot In the .
stable the Captain foun d j ugs full of old dollars a n d shillin gs .
The chimney was not left u n searched and paid very well for ,
the trouble ; for i n nineteen different holes all filled with ,
soot were found various sums of money amounting together

, ,
to more than two hundred pou n ds .

’
On the way to this crisis Mr W e gg s wooden leg had .

’
graduall y elevated itself more and more and he h a d nudged ,
Mr Venus with his opposite elbow deeper an d deeper until

.
,
at length the preservation of his balance became incompa tible

with the two actions and he now dropped over sideways u pon
,
that gentleman squeezing him against the settle s edge Nor

" ’
.
,
di d either of the two for so m e few seconds make any effort

, ,
to recover himself ; both remaining in a kind of pecuniary

swoon .
But the Sight of M r B o ffi n sitting 1 n the ar m chair huggin g

.
-
him self with his eyes upon th e fire acted a s a restorative

Counterfeitin g a sneeze to cover their movements Mr W e gg
, , .
.
, ,
with a spasmodic Tish h o pulled himself and Mr Venus

-
.
Up in a masterly ma n ner .
“
Let s have some more said Mr Bofli n hu n grily
’
,
.
,
.
John Elwes is the next sir Is it your pleasure to take , .
J ohn Elwes
Ah ! said Mr Bo ffin L et s hear what John did
’
. . .
He did not appear to h ave hidden any thing so went O ff ,
rather flatly But an exemplary lady named W i l c o c k s wh o

.
,
h ad stowed away gold an d silver I n a pickle pot in a clock

case a ca n ister full of treasure in a hole under her stairs and
, ,
a quantity of money in an old rat trap revived the interest , .
TO her succeeded another lady claimin g to be a pauper , ,
whose wealth was found wrapped up in little scraps of paper

and Ol d rag To her a nother lady applewoman by trade
.
, , ,
who had saved a fortune of ten th ousan d pounds and hidden

“
it here and there in cracks and corners behind bricks
, ,
and under the flooring To her a F rench gentleman wh o

.
”
, ,
had crammed up his chimney rather to the detrim ent O f ,

“
its drawing powers a leather valise containin g twenty
, ,
5 6 8 O UR MUTUAL FRI E ND
thousand francs gold coins and a large qu a ntity of precious
, ,
”
st ones as dis covered by a chimney sweep after his death
,
-
.
By these steps Mr W e gg arrived at a concluding instance .
of the human Magpie :

Many years ago there lived at Cambridge a miserly ,
old couple of the na m e of Jardine : they had two sons : th e

father was a perfect miser and at his death one thousand ,
guineas were discovered secreted in his b e d The two sons .
grew up as parsimonious as their si re When about twenty .
years O f age they commenced business at Cambridge as

,
drapers and they c ontinued there until their death The

, .
es tablishment of the Messrs J ardine was the most dirty O f .
all the shops in Cambr idge Customers seldom went in to .
purchase except perhaps out of curiosity The brothers

, .
were most disreputable l ooking beings ; for although sur -

,
rounded with gay apparel as their staple i n trade they wore ,
the most filthy rags themselves It is s aid that they had no .
bed and to save the expense of one always slept on a

, , ,
bundle of packing cloths u nder the counter In their h ouse -

.
keeping they were penuriou s in the extreme A j oint of .
meat did not grace their board for twenty years Yet when .
the first O f the brothers died the other much to his surp r ise , , ,
found large sums of money which had been secreted even

from him .
’
“ ‘
There ! cried Mr Boffin ”
Even from h i m you see
’
. . .
,
There was only two of em a nd yet one of em hid from the ’
,
’
other ”
Mr Venus who sm e e his introdu ction to the F rench

.
.
, _
" '
gentleman had b e e n s to opi n g to peer up the chimney had ,
his attention recalled by the last sentence and took the ,
liberty of repeating it .
Do you like it asked M r Boffin turni ng suddenly .

,
.
I beg your pardon sir ? ,
Do you l i ke wh at W e gg s been a reading ? ’

-
Mr Venus answered that he found it extremely interesting

. .
“ “
Then come again said Mr Boffin and hear some more , .
,
.
Come when you like come the day afte r to morrow half an -
,
hour sooner There s plenty more there s no end to it

.
’ ’
.
Mr Venus expressed his acknowledgments and accepted

.
the invitation .
It s wonderful what s been hid at one time and another

’ ’
, ,
“
said Mr Bo ffin rumin ating ; truly wonderful
.
,
.
”
Meaning s i r observed W e gg with a propitiatory face

, ,
”
,
'
that the father had died without a will But afte r twenty .
’
o ne years the d efendant s wife died and he very soon aft er ,
wards a t the age of seventy eight married a very young

,
-
,
woman : which caused some anxi ety to hi s two sons whose ,
poignant expressions of th i s feeling so exasperated their

father that he in his resentment executed a wi ll to disi nherit
,
his eldest son and in his fit of anger showed it to his second

,
son who instantly determined to get at it and destroy it

, , ,
in order to preserve the property to his brother With this .
vi ew he broke open his father s desk where he found

,
’
not his father s will which he sought afte r but the wi l l of

’
his grandfather which was then altogether forgotten in the

,
family .
’
There said Mr B offi n See what men put away and . .
forget or mean to destroy and don t ! He then added i n ’ ”
a slow tone As —ton — ish — ing !

, ,
“
,
And as he rolled his
eyes all round the room W e g g and Venus l i kewise rolled ,
their eyes all round the room And then W e gg sin gly .
, ,
fixed h i s eyes o n Mr Bo ffin looking at the fire again ; as if .
he had a mind to spring upon him and demand his thoughts

or his life .
However t i me s up for to night said Mr Bo ffin waving

,
’
-
,
.
,
“
his hand after a silence More the day afte r to morrow .
,
-
.
Range the books upon the shel v es W e gg I dare say Mr , . .
Venus will be so kind as to help you .

”
While speaking he thrust h i s hand into the breast of his ,

"
outer c oat and struggled with some object there that was
,
too large to be got ou t easil y Wh at was the stupefaction .
of the friendly movers when th i s O bj ect at last emerging ,
proved to be a much dilapidated dark lantern ! -
Without at a ll noticing the effect produced by this little

instru ment Mr BoffI n stoo d it on his knee and producing
,
.
, ,
a box of matches de l iberately lighted the candle in the ,
lantern blew out the kindled match and cast the end into
, ,
the fire “
I m go i ng W e gg he then announced to take
’ “
, , ,
’
a turn about the place and round the yard I don t want .
you Me and this same lantern have taken hundreds

.
thousands — o f such turns in ou r time together .

”
But I couldn t thi n k sir— not on any account I couldn t

’ ’ ”
, , ,
-
W e gg was polite ly beginning when Mr Bo fli n who had , .
,
risen and was going towards the door stopped : ,

“
I have told you that I don t want you W e gg ’
,
.
W e gg looked intelligently thoughtful as if that had not ,

MR . B O FF IN W ITH A DAR K L ANTE RN 57 1
occ u r red to hi s mind un til he n o w brought it to bear on the
circumstance He had nothing for it but to let Mr Bofli n
. .
go out an d shut the d oor behind him But the i nstant he .
was on the other side of it W e g g clutched Venus with both ,
hands and said in a choki n g whisper as if he were being

, , .
strangled
“
Mr Venus he must be followed h e must be watched he
.
, , ,
mustn t be lost sight O f for a moment

’
.
“ ’
Why mustn t he asked Venus also strangling , .
Comrade you might have noticed I was a little e le wa te d

,
I n sp i rits when you come in to night I ve found something ’

-
. .
“
Wh at have you found ? asked Venus clutching him ”
with both hands so that they stood interlocked like a couple ,
of preposterous gladiators .
’
There s no time to tell you n ow I thi n k he must have .
gone to l ook for it We must have an eye upon him .
”
instantly .
Releasing each other they crept to the door O pened it , ,
softly and peeped out It was a cloudy night and the black
, .
,
“
shadow of the Mounds made the dark yard darker If not .
a double s windler whispered W e gg why a dark lantern ,

”
We could have seen what he was about if he had carried ,
a light one Softly this way .

,
.
”
Cautiously along the path that was bordered by fragments

of crockery set in ashes the two stole after him They could ,
.
hear him at his peculiar trot crushing the loose cinders as ,

“
he went He knows the place by h eart muttered Sil as
.
,
”
,
and don t nee d to turn his lantern on confound him

’
,
But he did turn it on almost in that same instant and , ,
flashed its light upon the first O f the Mounds .
Is that the spot asked Venus in a W hisper .
He s warm said Sil as in the same tone

’
He s precious
,
”
.
’
warm He s close I think he mu st be goi ng to look for it

.
’
. .
What s that he s got in his hand

’ ’
“
A shovel answered Venus And he knows h ow to use
,
”
.
”
it remember fifty times as well as either of us
, ,
.
“
If he looks for it and misses it partner suggeste d W e gg , ,
”
,
what shall we do
“
First of a ll wait till he does said Venus , , .
Discreet advice too for he darkened his lantern again and , ,
the Mound turned black After a few seconds he turned .

,
the light on once more and was seen standing at the foot of ,
the second Mound slowly raising the lantern little by little ,

’
u ntil he held it up at arm s length as if he were examining ,
the condition of the whole su rface .
“ ’ ”
That can t be the spot to o said Venus .
NO said W e gg he s getting cold

,
”“ ’ ”
.
, ,
“ ”
It strikes me whispered Venus that he wants to fin d
, ,
out whether any one has been groping about there .

”
Hush returned W e gg he s getting colder and colder !

“
,
’
Now he s freezing ’
This exclamation was elicited by his having turned the

lantern o ff again and on again and being visible at the foot
, ,
of the third Mound .
“ ”
Why he s going up it ! said Venus
,
’
.
Shovel and a ll said W e gg .
At a nimble trot as if the shovel over hi s shoul der s ti m u

,
lated him by reviving old associations Mr Bo ffin ascended ,

.
“
the serpentining walk up the Moun d which he had ,
described to Silas W e g g on the o c casion of their beginning

to decline and fall On striking into it h e turn ed his lantern
.
O ff . The two followed him stooping l ow so that their , ,
figures might make no mark in relief against the sky when

he shoul d turn his lantern on again Mr Venus took the . .
lead towing Mr W e gg in order that his refractory leg might

, .
,
be promptly extricated from any pitfalls it should dig for

itself They could j u st make out that the Golden Du st
.
man stopped t o breathe Of course they stopped too .

,
instantly .
“
This is his own Mound whispered W e gg as he recovered , ,
“ ”
his wind this one , .
“
Why all three are his own returned Venus
, ,
.
So he thinks but he s used to call this his own becau se ’

,
it s the one first left t o him ; the one that was his legacy
’
”
when it was all he took under the will .
“
When he shows his light said Venu s keeping watch ,
”
,
“
upon his dusky figure al l the time drop lower and keep ,
closer .
He went on again and they followed again Gai ni ng the ,

.
top of the Mou nd he turned on his light —but only partially

,
— and stood it on the ground A bare lopsided weather .
,
beaten pole was planted in the ashes there and had been ,
there many a year Hard by this pole his lantern stood ; .
lighting a few feet of the lower part of it and a little of th e

ashy surface around and then casting O ff a purposeless little
,
clear trail of light into the air .

MR . B O FF IN CL O SE LY W ATCH E D 57 5
”
He can never be going to dig up the pole ! w hispered
Venus as they droppe d low and kept close .
Per haps it s holl er and full O f something whispered

’
W e gg .
He was go i ng to dig wi th whatsoever obj ect for h e tucked

, ,
up his cu ffs and spat on his hands an d then went at it l ike ,
an old di gger a s he was He had no design upon the pole.

,
except that he measured a shovel s length from it before ’
begi nning nor was it his purpose to dig deep Some dozen
,
.
or so of expert strokes su fficed Then he stopped looked .

,
down into the cavity bent over it and took out what , ,
appea red to be an ordinary case bottle ; one of those squ at -

,
high shouldered sh ort necked glass bottles which the Dutch

-
,
-
man is said to keep his Courage i n As soon as he had done .
this he turned o ff his l an tern an d they could hear that h e

, ,
was fill i ng up the hole in the d ark The ashes being easily .
moved by a s kil fri l hand th e spies took this as a hint to make

,
o ff in goo d time Accordingly Mr Venu s slipped past Mr

.
,
. .
W e gg and towed him down But Mr W e gg s descent was . .

’
not accomplished without some personal inconvenience for ,
h i s self wil led leg sticking into the ashes about half way
- -
down and time pressing Mr Venus took the liberty of

, , .
haul i ng h i m from his te ther by the collar : which occasioned

him to make the rest of the j ourney on h is back with his ,
head enveloped in the skirts O f his coat and his woo d en leg ,
coming last like a drag SO flu s te r e d was Mr W e g g by this

, . .
mode of travelling that when he was set on the level ground

,
with his in tell ectual developments upperm ost he was quite ,
unconscious of his bearings and h a d not the least idea where ,
h i s place of residence was to be found until Mr Venu s ,

.
shoved him into it Even then he staggered round and

.
round weakly starin g a bout him u ntil Mr Venu s with a hard

, , .
brush brushed his senses into h i m and the dust out O f him .
Mr Bo ffin Came down leisurely for this brushing process

.
,
had been well accompl ished and Mr Venus had h a d time , .
to take his breath before he reappeared ,

That he had the .
bottle somewhere about him coul d not be d oubted ; where ,
was not so clear He wo r e a large rough coat buttoned over

.
'
, ,
and it might be in any one O f half a dozen pockets - -
What s the matter W e gg ? said Mr Bo ffin

’
,
You a r e . .
as pale as a candle .
Mr W e gg replied with literal exactness that he felt as if

.
, ,
he had had a turn .

‘
Bile said Mr Bo ffin , blowing out the light in the
'
.
,
lantern shutting it up and stowing it away in the breast Of

, ,
'
his coat as before “

Are you subj ect to bil e W e g g ?
.
,
”
Mr W e gg again replied with strict adherence to truth

.
, ,
’
that he didn t think he had ever had a similar sen sa tion in
his head to anything like the same extent
, .
“
Physic yourself to mo r row W e g g said Mr BO ffin “
to , ,
”
.
’
,
be I n order for next night By the bye, this neighbourhoo d .

”
is going to have a loss W e gg ,

.
”
A loss sir ,
Going to lose the Mounds .
The friendly movers made such an O bvious e ffort not to

look at one another that they might as well have stared at ,
one another with all their might .
“
Have you parted with them Mr B o ffi n asked S i las ,
. .
’ ”
Yes they re going Mine s as good as gone already
’
. .
You mean the little one of the three With the pole atop , ,
Yes said Mr Boffin rubbing his ear in his Ol d way

, .
, ,
“
with that new touch of craft i ness added to it It has .
’
fetched a penny It ll begin to be carted O ff to morrow
.
-
.
“
Have you been out to take leave of your old friend sir ,
asked Silas j ocosely .
NO said Mr Bo ffin
,
” “
, What the devil put that in your
. .
head
He was so sudden and rough that W e gg who had been , ,
hovering closer and closer to his skirts dispatching the back ,
of his hand on exploring expeditions in search of the bottle s ’
surface retired two or three paces

, .
No o ffence sir said W e gg humbly

,
No O ffen c e
,
”
,
. .
Mr B o ffin eyed him as a dog might eye another dog who

.
wanted his bone and actually retorted with a l o w growl as ,
the dog might have retorted .
“ ”
Good night he said after having sunk in to a moody
, ,
silence with his hands clasped behind him and his eyes
, ,
suspiciously wandering about W e gg “

No ! Stop there .
-
.
I know the way out and I want no light ,

.
”
Avarice and the evening s l egends of avarice and the

,
’
inflammato ry effect O f what he had seen and perhaps the ,
rush of his ill conditioned blood to his bra in in his descent

-
,
wrought S i las W e g g t o such a pitch O f i nsatiable appetite ,
that when the d oor closed he made a swoop at it and drew

Venus along with him .
C HAP T ER VII
THE FRI ENDLY M OV E T AKE S UP A T

S RO NG P OSITI ON
THE friendly movers sat upright on the floor, panting an d

eyeing one another after Mr Boffin had slammed the gate , .
and gone away In the weak eyes of Venus and in every

‘
. .
.
reddish dust C O l Ou r e d hair in his shock of ha i r there was a

-
,
marked distrust O f W e g g and an alertness to fly at him

'
on perceiving the smallest occasion In the hard grained .
-
face of W e gg and in his sti ff knotty figure (he looked like

,
a German wo oden toy ) there was expressed a politic con ,
ciliation which had no spontaneity i n it Both were flushed

, .
,
flu s te r e d and r umpled by the late scu ffle ; and W e gg in

, , ,
coming to the ground had received a humming knock on

_ ,
the back o f h i s devoted head which caused h i m still to r ub

‘
it with an air of having been highly— but disagreeably

astonished Each was silent for some time leaving it to
.
,
the other to begin .
“
Brother said W e gg at length breaking the silence
, , ,
”
you were right and I was wrong I forgot myself
, . .
Mr Venus knowingly cocked his shock of ha i r as rather

.
,
thinking Mr W e gg had remembered himself i n respect of

.
,
appearing without any disguise .
“
But comrade pursued W e gg it was never your lot
, ,
”
,
to know Miss Elizabeth Master George Aunt Jane nor , , ,
Uncle Parker .
Mr Venus admitted that he had never known those

.
distinguished persons and added in e ffect that he had never , , ,
so much as desired the honour of their ac quaintance .
“
Don t say that comrade retorted W e gg : No d on t
’ “
, ,
”
,
’
say that Because without having known them you never , ,
can fully know what it is to be stimulated to frenzy by the

sight of the Usurper .
”
O ffering these excusatory words as if they reflected great

credit on himself Mr W e g g impelled himself with his hands
,
.
towards a chair in a corner of the room and there after a ,

A S P E AKING C O UNTE NAN C E 5 79
varie ty of awkward gambols attained a perpendicular posi ,
tion Mr Venus also rose

. . .
“
Comrade said W e gg take a seat Comrade w hat a
“
,
”
,
.
,
”
Speaking countenance is yours !
Mr Venus involuntarily smoothed his countenance a n d

.
,
looked at his han d as if to see whether any of i ts speakin g ,
properties came o ff .
“
F or clearly do I kn ow mark you pursued W e gg , , ,
“
pointing his words with his forefinger clearly do I know ,
”
W hat question your expressive features puts to me .
What question said Ven u s .
The question returned W e gg with a sort of j oyful ,

”
,
“
affabil ity W h y I didn t mention so oner that I had found
,
’
something Says your Speaking countenance t o m e : Why

.
didn t you communicate that when I first co m e in this

’
e v ening ? Why did you keep it back ti ll you thought

Mr Boffin had come to look for the article
. You r spe a kin g
countenance said W e gg “
puts it plainer t h an language , .
Now you can t read i n my face what answer I give

’
’ ”
No I can t said Venus
, , .
I kne w it ! And W h y not ? returned W e g g with the ,
same j oyful candour Because I lay n o clai ms to a s pe a k i n g .

'
countenance Because I am well aware of my deficiencies

. .
All men a r e not gifted alike But I can a n swer in w ords . .
And in what words These I wanted to give you a

delightful sap —pu r — I Z E
.
Having th u s el ongated a n d emphasised th e word Surpris e ,
Mr W e gg Shook his friend and brother by both hands and

.
,
then clapped him on both knees li ke an a ffectionate patron ,
who entreated him not to mention s o small a service as that

which it had been his happy privi lege to render .
“
Your speaking coun tenance said W e gg being answered ,
”
to its satisfaction only asks then What have you fo u nd , ,
Why I hear it say the words

,
”
Well ? retorted Venus snappishly after waiting i n , ,
vain . If you hear it say the words why don t you ,

’
answer it ? ”
“
Hear me out ! said W e gg “
I m a goin g to Hear ”
.
’
-
.
me out ! Man and brother partner in feeli ngs equ ally with ,
”
undertakings and actions I have found a cash box ,
-
.
Wh ere
— Hear me out said W e gg (He tried to reserve w hat .
ever he coul d and whenever disclosure was forced upon him

, , ,
5 8C OUR MUTUAL F RI E ND
“
broke into a radiant gu sh of Hear me out ) On a certa in .
day sir
,
When said Venus bluntly

N—no returned W e gg shaking his head at once ob
.
,
, ,
s e r v a n tl y thoughtfully and playfully

,
“
NO sir ! That s not
, .
,
’
you r expressive countenance which asks that question .
That s your voice ; merely your voice TO proceed On

’
.
-
.
a certain day sir I happened to be walking in the yard

, ,
taking my lonely round — for in the words O f a friend of

my own family the auth or of All s Well arranged as a,
’
duet
D e s e rte d a s y ou wi ll re m e m b e r Mr V e n u s by th e wan i n g m o on
, , .
, ,
W h e n s ta rs i t wi ll o c c u r t o y ou b e fore I m en ti on i t pr oc l a i m
, ,
n i gh t s c h e e r l e s s n oo n
’
,
O n t o we r fo r t o r te n te d g ro u n d
, , ,
Th e s e n try wa lk s h i s l o n e ly rou n d ,
Th e s e n try wa lk s ; ’
—under those ci r cumsta nces sir I happened to be walking in , ,
the yard early one afternoon and happ e ned to have an iron ,
rod i n my hand with which I have been someti m es a c ,
customed to beguile the m onotony of a literary life when ,
I struck it against an obj ect not necessary to trouble you by

naming
“
It i s necessary What O bject ? demanded Venus in a .
,
wrathful tone
The Pump —When I struck
.
Hear me out ! said W e gg “ ”

. .
it against the Pump and found not only that the top was , ,
lo ose and O pened with a l i d but that something in it rattled ,

.
That something c omrade I discovered to be a small flat

, ,
O blong cash box Shall I say it was d i s a ppi n ti n gl y light ?

-
.
“
There were papers in it said Venus .
There your expressive countenance speaks indeed

cried W e gg “
A paper The box was locked tied up
. .
, ,
an d sealed and on the outsi d e was a parchment label with

, ,
the writing MY W I LL J O HN HARMO N T E MPO RARI LY D EPO SI TE D

‘
, , ,
HE R E
’
.
“
We must know its contents said Venus ,
.
— Hear me out cried W e g g I said so and I broke .

,
the box open .

”
“ ”
Without coming to me ! exclaimed Venus .
Exactly so S i r returned W e gg blandly and bu oyantly

, ,
.
I see I take y o u with me ! Hea r hear hear Resolved as , , ,
your discriminating good sense perceives t h at if you was to ,

’
not be gone ; we don t know what he may be up to after ,
W hat we ve seen
’
.
“ ’
There s som ething in that assented Venus Come to , .
”
my place .
Jealous of the custody of the box and yet fearful of O pening ,
it under the existing circumstances W e gg hesitated Come , .

,
”
I tell you repeated Venu s chafing
,
to my pl a ce Not , , .
very well seeing his way to a refusal Mr W e gg then rej oined , .
in a gush —Hear me out,

Certainly So he locked up -
.
the Bower an d they set forth : Mr Venus taking his arm .

,
and keeping it with remarkable tenacity .
They fo u nd the u sual dim light burning in the window

of Mr Venu s s establishment imperfe ctly disclosing to the
.
’
public the usu al pair of preserved frogs sword in hand with , ,
their point of ho nou r still u nsettl ed Mr Venus had closed . .
his shop door o n comin g out and n ow opened it with th e ,
key and shut it again as soon as they were within but not
before he had put up and barred the Shutters of the shop
window No one can get in without being let I n said he
.
“ ’
then and we couldn t be more snug than here
,
SO he .
raked together the yet warm cinders in the rusty grate and ,
made a fire and trimmed the candle on the l ittle counter

,
.
As the fire cast its flickering gleams h ere and there upon
the dark greasy walls ; the Hindo o baby the African b aby , ,
the articulated Englis h baby the assortment of skulls and the , ,
rest of the collection came starting to their variou s stations as

,
if they had all been out like their master and were pu nctual , ,
in a general rendezvou s to assist at the secret The F rench .
gentleman had grown considerably since Mr W e g g last saw .
h i m being now accommodated with a pair of legs and a

,
head though his arms were yet in abeyance To whomsoever

,
.
the head had originally belonged Silas W e g g would have ,
regarded it as a personal favour if he had not ou t quite so

many teeth .
Silas took his seat in silence on the wooden box before the
fire and Venu s dropping into his low chair produced from
, ,
among his skeleto n hands h i s tea tray and teacups and put ,
-
,
the kettle on Silas inwardly approved of these preparations

.
,
trusting they might end in Mr Venus s diluting his intellect .

’
.
“ “
Now S i r said Venu s all is safe and quiet Let us
, ,
”
,
.
see this discovery .
With still reluctant hands and not without several glances ,
to wards the skeleton hands as if he mistrusted that a couple ,

No , PARTN E R 8
5 3
of them might Spring forth and clutch the document W e gg ,
O pened the hat box and revealed th e cash box O pened the
- -
,
cash box and revealed the wil l He held a corner of it tight

- .
,
W hile Venu s taking hol d of another corner searchingly and

, ,
attentively read it .
“ ”
Was I correct in my accou nt of it partner ? said Mr ,
.
W e gg at length,
.
“
Partner you were said Mr Venus , , . .
Mr W e gg thereupon made an easy graceful movement

.
, ,
as though h e woul d fold it up ; but Mr Venus held on by .
his co rner .
“
NO s ir said Mr Venus win king his weak eyes an d
, .
,
NO partner The question is now

,
shaking his head .

,
.
brought up who is going to take care of this Do you know

,
.
who is going to take care of this partner ,

“
I am said W e g g ,
”
.
Oh dear no partner retorted Venus That s a mis

, ,
.
’
take I am Now look here Mr W e gg I don t want to

. .
,
. .
’
have any words with you and still less do I want to have ,
any anatomical pursuits with you .
What do you mean said W e gg quickly , .
“ ”
I mean partner replied Venus slowly that it s hardly
, , , ,
’
possible for a man to feel in a more amiable state towards

another man than I do towards you at this present moment .
But I am o n my own groun d I am surrounded by the ,
trophies of my art and my tools is very handy , .

”
“
What do you mean Mr Venus asked W e gg again ,
. .
I am surrounded as I have observed said Mr Venus , ,

”
.
,
“
placidly by the trophies of my art They are numerous
, .
,
my stock of human wa r i ou s is large th e shop is pretty well ,
crammed and I don t j u st now want any more trophies

,
’
O f my art But I like my art and I know h ow to exercise

.
,
my art .
”
N 0 man better assented Mr W e gg with a somewhat ,

.
,
staggered a ir .
“
There s the Miscellanies of several human spec i mens said
’
,
“
Venus (though you mightn t think i t ) in the box on which
,
’
,
you re S itting There s the Miscellanies of several human

’
.
’
spec i mens in the lovely compo one beh i nd the d oor with -
a nod towards the F rench gentleman “

It Still wants a pa i r .
”
O f arm s
’
I d on t say that I m in any hurry for em
.
’ ’
.
“
You must be wandering in your m ind partner Silas , ,
remons trated .
8
Yo u ll exc u se me if I wander returned Venus ; I a m
’
,
sometimes rather s u bject to it I lik e my art and I kn ow .

,
how t o exercise m y art and I mean to have the keeping of ,

”
this docu m ent .
“ ”
what has that got to do with your art partner ?
Bu t ,
asked W e gg in an insin u ating tone ,

.
Mr Venus winked his chronically fatigued eyes both at

.
once and adj usting the kettle on the fire remarked to

, ,
“ ’
himself in a hollow voice ,
She ll bile in a couple of ,
minutes .
Silas W e gg glanced at the kettle glanced at the shelves , ,
glanced a t the F rench gentleman behind th e door and ,
shrank a little as he glanced at Mr Venus winking his red .
eyes and feeling in his waistc oat pocket — as for a lancet

, ,
say — with his unoccupied hand He and Venus were n e c e s .
s a r i l y seated close together as each held a corner of the ,
document which was but a common sheet of paper ,

.
“
Partner said W e g g even more insinuatingly than ,
”
,
“
before I propose that we cut it in half and each keep ,
a half .
“
Venus shoo k his Shock of hair as he replie d It wouldn t , ,
’
do to mutilate it partner It might seem to be cancelled ,

. .
”
Partner said W e gg after a silence during which

,
”
, ,
“
th e y h a d contemplated one another don t your speaking ’
,
,
’
countenance say that you re a going to s uggest a middle -
course
“
Venus shook his shock of hair as he replied Partner , , ,
you have kept this paper from me once You shall never .
keep it from me again I offer you the box and the label .
to take care of but I ll take care of the paper ,

’
.
”
Silas hesi tate d a little longer and then su ddenly releasing ,
his corner a n d resuming h is buoyant and benignant tone

, ,
“
exclaimed What s life without trustfulness ! What s a
,
’ ’
fell ow man without honou r-

You re welcome to it partner ’
, ,
i n a spirit of tr u st and confidence

”
.
Continuing to w i nk his red eyes both together— but in a

self communing way and without any Show of triumph
-
Mr Venus folded the paper now left in his hand and locked
,
.
,
it in a drawer behind him and pocketed the key He then ,

.
proposed “
A cup of tea partner ?
,
To which Mr W e g g ,
”
.
“
ret u rned Thank ee partner and the tea was made and
,
’
, ,
”
poured out .
Next said Venus blowing at his tea in his s aucer and

,
”
, ,
instantly shown him he should be strictly ex amined as to what ,
he k n e w or suspected should be severely handled by the m ,
his masters an d should be kept in a state of abject moral

,
bondage and slavery until the time when they should see
fit to permit h i m to purch a se his freedom at the price of
half his possessions If said Mr W e g g by wa y O f perora .
,
.
“
tion he had erred in saying only Halves ! he trusted to
,
”
his comrade brother and partner not to hesitate to set him

, ,
right and to reprove his weakness I t might be more

, .
according to the rights of things to say Two thirds ; it ,

-
might be more accordin g to the rights of things to say ,
Three fourths On those points he was ever open to cor

-
.
rection .
Mr Venus having wafted his attentio n to this discourse

.
,
over three successive saucers of tea signified his concurrence ,
in the V iews advanced Inspirited hereby Mr W e gg ex .

,
.
tended his right hand and declared it to be a hand which ,
never yet Without entering into more minute particu lars

.
,
Mr Venus sticking to his tea briefly professed his belief

.
, , ,
as polite forms required of him , that it wa s a hand which

never yet But contented himself with looking at it and
.
,
did not take it to his bosom .

.
Brother said W e gg when this happy understanding

,
”
,
“
was established I shoul d like to ask you something You , .
remember the night whe n I first looked in here, and found

you float i ng your powerful min d in tea
Still swillin g tea Mr Venu s nodded assent ,
. .
And there you sit sir pursued W e g g with an air of , ,

”
“
thoughtful admiration as if you had never left O ff There ,
yo u sit s ir as if you had an unlimited capacity of assimi

, ,
lating the fragrant article ! There you sit s i r in the mid st , ,

’
of your works looking as if you d been called upon for ,
Home Sweet Home and was o b le e gi n g the company !

, ,
‘
A e x i l e from h om e s p l e n d ou r d a z z l e s i n v a i n ,
0 gi v e y o u y ou r l o wly Pr e pa r a t i o n s a g a i n ,
Th e b i r d s s tu ffe d s o s we e tly th a t c a n t b e e x p e c te d t o c o m e a t y ou r c a ll
'
,
G i v e y o u t h e s e wi th th e pe a c e of m i n d de a re r th a n a l l .
H om e Hom e Hom e s we e t H o m e !
, ,
’
—Be it ever added Mr W e gg prose as he glanced about

, . in
“ ’
the shop ever so ghastly all things considered there s no
, ,
”
place like it,
’
You said you d like to ask somethin g but you haven t ’
asked it remarked Venus very unsympathetic in manner

, ,
.
L O O K ING FO R PARR O T S 8
5 7
Your peace of mind said W e gg O ffering condolence , , ,
your peace of mind was in a poor way that night Hows

’
.
it going on I s it looking up at all ?

“
She does not wish replied Mr Venus with a comi cal ,
”
.
“
mixture of indignant obstinacy an d tender melancholy to ,
regard herself no r yet to be regarded in that particular li ght

, ,
.
’ ”
There s no more to be said .
“
Ah dear me dear me ! exclaimed W e g g with a sigh
, ,
”
,
but eyeing h i m while pretendi n g t o keep him company in

eyeing the fire such is woman ! And I remember you
said that night sitting there as I sat here— said that night
,
when your peace of mind was first laid low that you had ,
taken an interest in these very affairs Such is c o i n c i .
dence
Her father rej oined Venus and then stopped to swall ow
, ,
“ ”
more te a her father was mixed up in them
,
.
“ ”
You didn t me ntion her name sir I think ? observed
’
, ,
W e gg pensively
, N 0 you didn t mention her name th at
.
,
’
night .
”
“
Pleasant Riderhood
—
.
In deed cried W e gg “
Pleasant Riderhood There s . .
’
something moving in the name Pleasant Dear me Seems . .
’
to express what she might have been if she hadn t made ,
that unpleasant remark— and what she ain t in consequence ’
of having mad e it I Vo u l d it at all pour balm into your .
wounds Mr Venus to i nquire h ow you came acquainted

, .
,
with her
“
I was down a t the water side said Venus taking a n -
, ,
other gulp O f tea an d mournfully winking at the fir e

“
lookin g for parrots —taking another gulp and stopping .
Mr W e g g hinted to jog his attention : You could

.
“
,
hardly have been out parr ot shooting in the British -

,
climate sir ? ,
”
No no no said Venus fretful ly

, , ,I was down at the .
water side looking for parrots brought home by sail ors to

-
, ,
buy for stu ffing .

”
Aye aye aye sir !

, , ,
”
-
And looking for a nice pair of rattlesnakes to a r ti c u ,
late for a Museu m— when I was doomed to fall in with her

and deal with her It was just at the t i me of that dis .
c o v e r y in the river Her father had seen the discovery .
being towed in the river I made the popularity of the .
subject a reason for going back to improve the acquaintance ,

and I have never sm e e been the man I was My very bones .
is rendered flabby by bro oding over it If they co ul d be .
brought to me loose to sort I should hardly have the face , ,

’
to claim em as mine To such an extent have I fallen o ff .
under it .
Mr W e g g less inte rested than he had been glanced at

.
, ,
one particular shelf i n the dark .
“
Why I remember Mr Venus he said in a tone of
, ,
.
,
“
friendly commiseration, (for I remember every word that
falls fr om you sir) I remember that you said that night
, ,
—
,
‘
you had got up there and then your words was Never ,
’
mind .
— The parrot that I bought of her said Venus with a , ,

“
despondent rise and fa l l of his eyes Yes ; there it lies on .
its side dried up ; except for its plumage very lik e myse l f
, , .
’
I ve never had the heart to prepare it an d I never shall
.
,
”
have now .
With a disappointed face Silas mentally consigned this ,
parrot to regions more than tropical and seem i ng for the , ,
time to have lost his power of assuming an interest in the

woes of Mr Venus fell to tightenin g his wooden leg as a
.
,
preparation for departure : its gy m n a s tl c performances of

that evening havi ng severely tried its constitution .
After Silas had left the Sh Op hat box in hand and had ,
-
,
left Mr Venus to l ower himself to O blivion point with the

.
-
requisite weight O f tea it greatly preyed on his ingenu ous ,
mind that he had taken this artist into partnership at a ll .
He bitterly felt that he had over reached h i mself in the -
’
be ginning by gras ping at Mr Venus s mere straws of hi nts
,
.
,
now shown to be worthless for his purpose Casting about .
for ways and means of dissolving the connexion without

loss of money reproaching himse lf for having been betrayed
, ,
into an avowal of his secret and complimenting himself ,
beyond measure on his purely acci dental good luck he b e ,
guiled the distance between Clerkenwell and the mansion of

the Golden Dustman .
For Silas W e g g felt it to be quite out of the question that

he could lay his head upon his pillow in peace without first ,
hovering over Mr Boffin s hous e in the superior character of

.
’
its Evil Genius Power (unless it be the power of intellect

.
or virtue) has ever the greatest attraction for the lowest

natures ; and the mere defiance of the unconscious house
front with h i s power to strip the roof off the inhabiting
,
THE
’
B URD E N OF W EG G S SO NG 59 1
family like the roof of a house of cards was a treat which ,
had a charm for Silas W e gg .
As he hovered on the O pposite side O f the street exultin g , ,
the carriage drove up .
There ll shortly be an end of y ou said W e gg threaten

’
, ,
ing it with the hat box You r varnish is fading

-
. .
Mrs Boffin descended and went in

. .
“
Look out for a fall my Lady Du s twom an sa id W e gg , , .
Bella lightly descended and ran in afte r her .
How brisk we are ! said W e gg “

You won t run so ”
.
’
gaily to your O l d shabby home my girl You ll have to go , .

’
there thoug
,
A little while and the Secretary came out ,
I was passed over for you said W e gg But you h a d ,

”
.
bette r provid e yourself with another situation you n g man ,

.
Mr Bo ffin s shadow pas sed u pon the blinds of three large

.
’
windows as he trotte d down the room and passed again as ,
he went back .
Yoop cried W e gg You re there are you Where s

.
’
,
’
the bottle ? You would give your bottle for my box ,
Dustman
Havin g now composed his m ind for slumber he turned ,
homeward Such was the greed Of the fellow that his mind
.
,
had s h ot beyond halves two thirds three fourths and gone ,

-
,
-
,
straight to spoli ation O f the whole Tho ugh that wouldn t .

’
quite do he considered growi n g cooler a s he got away

,
”
, .
’ ’
That s what would happen to him if he didn t buy us u p .
We should get nothing by that .
We so j udge others by ourselves th at it had never come ,
into his head before that he might not buy u s u p and , ,
m ight prove honest and prefer to be poor It caused him a

,
.
slight tremor as it passed ; but a v ery slight one for the

idle thought was gone directly .
“
He s grown too fo n d of money for that said W e gg
’
,
:
he s gro wn too fond of money

’
The burden fell into a .
”
strain or tune as he stumped along the pavements All the .
way home h e stumped it out Of the rattling streets p ia n o ,
with his own foot and forte with his wooden leg ,
“
He s ,
’
G ROW N too FO N D of MO N EY for T HAT he s G R OW N too FO ND

’
of MO N EY .
”
Even next day Silas soothed himself with this m elodious

strain when he was called out of bed at daybreak to set
, ,
open th e yard gate and ad m it the train O f carts a n d horses

-
59 2 ,
O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
that came to car r y off the little Mound And all day long
- .
,
as he kept unwinking watch on the slow process which pro

m i s e d to protract itself through many days and weeks ,
whenever (to save h i mself from being choked with dust ) he

patrolled a little cinderous beat he esta blished for the purpose ,
without taking his eyes from the diggers he still stumped

'
to the tune He s G R OW N too FO N D of MO N E Y for T HAT he s

’
,
’
G RO W N too FO ND of MO N E Y
”
.
bare living and quietly to die untouched by workh ouse hand s
, ,
this was her highest sublunary hope .
’
Nothing had been heard of her at Mr B offi n s house Since .
she trudged o ff The weather had been hard and the roads
.
had been bad and h er spirit was up A less staunch spirit

,
.
might have been subdued by such adverse influences but the

loan for her little ou tfit was i n no part repaid and it had ,
gone worse with her than she had foreseen and Sh e was put ,
upon proving her case and maintaining her independence .
F aithful soul ! When she had spoken to the Secreta r y O f

“
that deadness that steals over me at ti mes her fortitude ,
had made too little O f it Oftener and ever O ftener it came

.
,
stealing over her ; darker and ever darker l ike the shadow ,
of advancing Death That the shadow should be deep as it

.
came on like the shadow of an actual presence was in a c c o r

, ,
dance with the laws of the physi cal world for all the Light ,
that shone on Betty Higden lay beyond Death .
The poor O l d creature had taken the upward course of the

river Thames as her general track it was the track in which
her last home lay and of which she had last had local love
,
and k nowledge She had hovered for a little while in the

.
near neighbourhood of her abandoned dwelling and had sold , ,
and knitted and sol d and gone on In the pleasant towns

,
.
O f Chertsey Walton Kingston and Staines h er figure came

, , , ,
to be qu ite well known for some short weeks and then again ,
passed on .
She would take her stand in market places where there were -
,
su ch things on market days ; at other times in the busiest

,
-
,
(that was seldom very busy) portion of the little quiet High
Street ; at still other times she wou ld explore the outlying
roads for great houses and would ask leave at the Lodge to
,
pass in w ith her basket and would not ofte n get it But , .
ladies in carriages would frequently make purchas es fr om her

trifling stock and were u sually pleased with her bright eyes
,
and her hopefu l speech In these and her clean dress originated
.
a fable that she was well to do in the world one might say ,
for her station rich As making a comfortable provision for

, .
its subj ect which costs nobody anything this class of fable ,
has long been popular .
In those pl easant little towns o n Thames you may hear the ,
fall of the water over the weirs or even i n still weather , , ,
the rustle of the rushes ; and from the bridge you may see
the young river dimpled like a young child playfully gliding
, ,
HIGD E NS
’
B E TTY P ILGRIM AG E 5 95
away among the trees u npolluted by the d e fil e m e n ts th at ,
lie in wait for it on its course and as yet out of heari n g of ,
the deep su mmons of the sea It were too m u ch to pretend .
that Betty Higden made out su ch thoughts ; no ; but s h e

heard the tender river whispering to m any like herself ,
Come to me come to me ! When the cr u el sha m e and

,
terror you have so long fled from most beset you come to , ,
me ! I am the Relieving Officer appointed by eternal ordi

nam e to do my work I am not held in estimation accord i ng
,
’
as I Shirk it My breast is softer th an the pau per nurs e s ;
.
-
death in my arms is peacefuller than a m ong th e pau per .
wards Come to me !
.
There was abu ndant place for gentler fancies too in her , ,
untutored mind Those gentlefolks an d their children inside

.
th ose fine houses could they think as they looked out at

, ,
her what it was to be rea lly hu n gry really cold

,
Did th ey ,
feel any O f the wonder about her that Sh e felt about them ,
Bless the dear laughing children ! If they could have seen

sick Johnny in h e r arms would they have cried for pity ? ,
If they cou ld have seen dead Johnny o n that little bed ,
would they have understoo d it ? B l ess the dear child ren for
his sake anyhow ! SO with the humbler hou ses in th e little
,
street the inner fir e l i gh t shinin g on the panes as the ou ter

,
twilight darkened When the families gathered indoors

.
there for the night it was only a foolish fancy to feel a s if

,
it were a little hard i n them t o close the Sh u tter and blacken

the flame So with the lighted shops and speculatio n s
.
,
w h ether their masters an d mistresses taki n g tea in a per

s pe c ti v e of back parlour— not so far within b u t t h at the
flavour of tea an d toast came out mingled with the glow of ,
light into the street— ate or drank or wore what they sol d
,
with the greater relish beca u se they dealt in it So with the .
c h urchyard on a branch of th e solitary wa y to the night s ’
“
sleeping place Ah me ! The d ead and I seem to have it
-
.
pretty mu ch to ourselves in the d ark and in this weather !

But so much the better for all who are warmly ho u sed at
”
home The poor soul envied n o one in bitterness an d
.
,
gru d ged no one anything

’
But the old abhorrence grew stronger on h e r a s s h e grew

weaker and it found more sustaining foo d than Sh e did i n
,
h e r wanderings Now she would light upon th e shameful

.
,
spectacle of some desolate creature —o r some wretched ra gge d

g roups O f either sex or of both s exes with c h ildren a m o n g
, ,
them huddled together like the smaller vermin for a little
, ,
warmth — lingering and lingering on a doorstep While the ,
appointed evader of th e public trust did his dirty Office of

trying to weary them out and so get rid of them Now .
,
Sh e would light upon so m e poor decent person like herself , ,
going afoot o n a pilgrimage of many weary miles to see

some worn out relative or friend who had been charitably
-
clutched off to a great blank barren Union House as far ,
from O l d ho m e as the Cou nty Jail (the remoteness of which

is always its worst punishment for small ru ral O ffenders) and ,
in its dietary and in its lodging and in its tending of the

, ,
sick a much more penal establishment Sometimes Sh e would

, .
hear a newspaper read out and would learn how the Regi strar ,
General cast up the units that had within the last week died
of want and of exposure to the weather : for which that Re
cording Angel seemed to have a regular fixed place in his
sum as if they were its halfpence All such things Sh e would
, .
hear discussed as we my lords and gentlemen and honour

, ,
able boards i n our unapproachable magnificence never hear

,
them and from all such things she would fly with the wings
,
of raging Despair .
This is not to be received as a figure of speech Old Betty .
Higden however tired however footsore would start up

, , ,
and be driven away by her awakened horror O f falling into

the hands of Charity It is a remarkable Chri stian improve
.
ment to have made a pursuing F ury of the Good Samaritan

,
but it was so in this case and it is a type of many many , , ,
many .
Two incidents united to intensify th e old unreasoning

abhorrence — granted in a previous place to be unreasoning ,
because the people always are unreasoning and invariably ,
make a point of producing all their smoke without fire .
One day she was S itting in a market place on a bench -
outside an inn with her little wares for sale when the
, ,
deadness that Sh e strove against came over her so heavily

that the scene departed from before her eyes ; when it
returned she found herself on the ground her head sup
, ,
ported by some good natured market women and a little - -

,
crowd ab out her .
Are you better now mother ? asked one of the women ,

.
Do you think you can d o nicely now

“
Have I b een ill then asked O ld Betty .
You have had a faint like was the answer or a fit ,

”
, .
hersel f by the utmost exercise of h e r resolution the poor ,
trembling creat u re shook him O ff almost fiercely and t ri c k , ,
to flight Nor did she feel safe until she had set a mil e o r
.
two of b y road between herself and the market place and

- -
,
had crept into a copse like a hunted animal to hi de and

, ,
recover breath Not until then for the first time did she
.
venture to recall how Sh e had looked over her shoulder before

t urning out of the town and had seen the Sign of the ,
White Lion hanging across the road and the flutteri ng ,
market booths and the old grey church and the little crowd
, ,
gazing after her but not attempting to follow her .
The second frightening i ncident was this She had been .
agai n as bad and had been for some days better and was
, ,
travelling along by a part of the road where it touched the

river and in wet seasons was so often o v e r flowe d by it that
,
there were tall white posts set up to mark the way A .
barge was being towed towards her and she sat down on ,
the bank to rest an d watch it As the tow rope was S lack .

-
ened by a t u r n of the stream and dipped i nto the water ,
such a confu sion stole i nto her mind that she thought she
saw the forms of her dead ch i ldren and dead grandchildren
peopling the barge and waving their hands to her in solemn
,
measure ; then as the rope tightened and came up drop ,
ping dia m onds it seemed to vibrate i nto two parall el ropes

,
and s trike her with a twang though it was far o ff When

, ,
.
she looked again there was no barge no river no daylight , , ,
and a man who m she had never before seen held a candle
close to her face .
No w Missis said b e ; where did you come from and

, ,
where are you going to

The poor soul confu sedly asked the counter question where -
she was
I am the Lock said the man ,
.
The Lock
I a m the Deputy Lock on j ob and this is the L ock , ,
’
house (Lock or Deputy Lock it s all one while the t other
.
,
’
man s in the hospital ) What s your Parish

’
’
She was up from the truckle~

.
Parish be d directly ,
wildly feel i ng about her for her basket and gazing at him ,
in affright .
“
You ll be asked the question down town said the man
’
,
.
’
They won t let you be more than a Casual there They ll
’
.
pass y o u on to your settlement Missis , with all speed ,

.
“
the strong Stri ng of her terror ; he ought to have handed '
her over safe to the Parish That was to be expected of a .
man O f his merits .
As he stood in the doorway th e p o or O l d careworn way ,

.
worn woman burst into tears and clasped her hands as if in , ,
a very ago ny Sh e prayed to him .
As I ve told you Master I ve the best of friends This

’
, ,
’
.
letter will show how true I spoke a n d they will be thankful ,

”
for me .
The Deputy Lock O pened the letter with a grave face ,
which underwent no change as he eyed its contents But it .
might have done if he could have read them ,

.
”
What amount O f small change Missis he said with an , ,
“
ab s tracted air after a little meditation
,
might you call a ,
morsel of money
Hurriedly emptying her pocket old Betty laid down on the ,
table a shil l ing and two six penn y pieces and a few pence
, ,
.
If I was to let you go inste ad of han ding yo u over safe

to the Parish said the Deputy counting the m oney with
,
”
,
h i s eyes might it be your own free wish to leave that there

,
”
beh ind you ?
Take it Master take it and welcome and thankful !
, , ,
“’
I m a man said the Deputy giving her back the l e tter,
,
”
,
“
and pocketing the coins one by one as earns his living by , ,
the sweat of his brow ; here he drew his sleeve across hi s

forehead as if this particular portion of hi s humble gains
,
were the result of sheer hard labo ur and virtuous indust r y ;

“ ”
and I won t stand in your way G O where you like
’
. .
She was gone out of the Lock house as soon as he gave her -
this permission an d her tottering steps were on the road

,
again . But afraid to go back and afraid to go forward ;

,
seeing what she fled from in the sky glare of the l ights of ,
-
the little town before her and leaving a confused horror of ,
it everywhere behin d her as if she had escaped it in every ,
stone of every market place ; she S truck O ff by side ways -

,
among which she got bewildered and lost That night she .
took refuge from the Samaritan in h i s latest accredited form,

under a farmer s rick ; and i f— worth thinkin g O f perhaps
’
, ,
my fellow Christians — the Samaritan had in the lonely night

- .
passed by on the other side she would have most devoutly ,

”
thanked High Heaven for her escape from h i m .
The morning found h er afoot again but fast declinin g as ,
to the clearness of h e r thoughts though not as to th e s te a d i ,

E S C AP ING THE SA M ARITAN 603
ness of her purpose Comprehending that her strength was .
quitting her and that the struggle of her l i fe was almost

,
ended she could n either reason out the mean s of getting

,
back to her protectors nor even form the idea The over ,
.
mastering dread and the prou d stubborn resolution it e n

,
gendered i n her to die undegraded were the two distinct ,
impressions left in her failing mind Supported only by .
a sense that she was bent on conquering in her life long -
fight she went on

, .
Th e time was come now when the wants O f this little , ,
life were passing away from her She coul d not have s wa l .
lowed food though a table had been spread for her in the
,
next field The day was cold and we t but she scarcely
. .
kne w it She crept on poor soul like a criminal afraid of

.
, ,
be i ng taken an d felt little beyond th e terror of falling d own

,
while it was yet daylight and being found alive She had n o ,
.
fear that she would live through another night .
Sewn in the breast of her gown the money to pay for her ,
burial was still intact If she could wear through the day .
,
and then lie down to die under cover of the darkness she ,
would die independent If Sh e were captured previou sly the .

,
m oney would be taken from her as a pauper who had no

right to it and Sh e would be carried to the accu rsed work
,
house Gaini ng her end the lett er woul d b e foun d in her

.
,
-
breast along with the money and the gentlefolks woul d say
, ,
when it was given back to them She prized it did Ol d , ,
Betty Higden she was true to it and while she lived she ,
would never let it be disgraced by falling into the hand s

O f those tha t she hel d in horror Most illo gi cal i n c o n s e .
,
qu e n ti a l and light headed this ; but travellers in the valley

-
, ,
of the shad ow of death are apt to be light headed ; a n d -
worn out O l d people O f low estate have a trick of reasoning

-
as indifferently as they live and doubtless would appreciate ,
ou r Poor Law more ph ilosophically on an income of ten

thou sand a year .
So keeping to b y ways and shunning human approach

,
-
, ,
this troublesome O l d woman hid herself and fared on all ,
through the dreary day Yet so unlike was Sh e to vagrant .
hiders in general that sometimes as the day advanced there

, , ,
was a bright fire in her eyes and a quicker h e a ti n g at her ,

“
feeble heart as though she said exultin gly
,
The Lord will ,
see me through it
By what visionary ha n ds she was led along upon that
j o u rney O f escape from the Samaritan ; by what voices ,
hushed in the g r a v e she seemed to be addressed ; how she ,
fancied the dead chil d in her arms again and times innu ,
m e r a b l e adj u sted her shawl to keep it warm ; what i n finite

variety of forms of tower and roof and steeple the trees took
h o w many furious horsemen rode at her c rying There she , ,
goes ! Stop ! Stop Betty Higden and melte d away as ,
they came close ; be these things left untold F arin g on .
and hiding hid i ng and faring on the poor harmless creature

, , ,
as thoug h she were a M u rderess and the wh ole country were

up after her wore out the day and gained the night
,
.
“
Water meadows or such like she had sometimes mur
-
, ,
mured on the day s pilgrimage when she had raised her

,
’
head and taken any note O f the real obj ects about her .
Th ere now arose in the darkness a great building full of

lighted windows Smoke was issuing fro m a high chimney
.
in the rear O f it and there was the sound of a water wheel

,
-
at the side Between her and the building lay a piece of

.
water in which the lighted windows were reflected and on its

, ,
“
nearest margin was a plantation of trees I humbly thank .
”
the Power and the Glory said Betty Higden holding up her , ,
“ ’
withered hands that I have come t o my j ourney s end
,
She crept among the trees to the tru n k Of a tree whence

she could see beyond some intervening trees and branches
, ,
the lighted windows both in their reality and their r e fle c ,
tion in the wa ter She placed her orderly little basket at her
.
side and sank upon the grou n d supporting herself agai nst
, ,
the tree It brought to her m i nd the foot O f the Cross and

.
,
she co m mitted hersel f to Him who died upon it Her .
s trength held out to enable her to arrange the letter in her

breast so as that it could be see n that Sh e had a paper there
, .
It had held o u t for this and it departe d when this was done , .
“ ”
I am safe here was her last be numbed thought , When .
I am found dead at the fo ot of the Cross it will be by some ,
of my own sort some of the working people wh o work among

the lights yonder I canno t see the lighted windows now .
,
but they are there I am thankful for a ll .
:k s a: a:
The darkness gone and a face bendin g down ,

.
It cannot be the b oofe r la d y ?

I don t understand what you say Let me wet your lips
’
.
again with this brandy I have been away to fetch it Did . .
you think that I was long gone

Will you send it my dear ? ,
Will I send it to the writers Is that your wish ? Yes ,
certainly .
You l l not give it up to any one but them

’
N O .
”
As you must grow ol d in time and come to your dying ,
hour my dear yo u ll not give it up to any one but the m ?

, ,
’
No Most solemnly
. .
”
Never to the Parish with a convulse d struggle .
NO Most solemnly
. .
”
Nor let the Parish touch me nor yet so much as look at ,
me with another struggle .
NO F aithfu l ly
. .
A look of thankfu lness and triumph lights the worn old

face The eyes which have bee n darkly fixed upon the sky
.
, ,
turn with mean i ng in them towards the compassionate face

fro m which the tears are droppin g and a smile is on the ,
aged lips as they ask

What is your name my dear ,
My name is Lizzie He x a m .
”
I m u st b e sore disfigured Are you afraid to ki s s me .
The answer is the ready pressure of her lips upon the cold
but s mi li ng mouth .
Bless ye No wl ift me my love ,

.
Liz zie He x a m very softly raised the weather stained grey -
head and lifted her as high as Heaven

, .
C HAP T ER I X
SO ME B ODY B E C OME S THE SU B J E C T O F A P R E D I C TI O N
WE G I V E T HE E HE AR TY T HANK S FO R T HAT I T HAT H P LE ASE D

THE E To D E LI V E R T HI S O U R S I STE R O U T O F THE MI SE R I E S O F T HI S
SI N FU L W O R LD . So read the Reveren d F rank Mi l v e y in a
’
not untroubled voice for his heart misgave him that all was
,
not quite right between u s and our si s ter— or say our sister
in Law— Poor Law— an d that we sometimes read these words
in an awful manner over our Sister an d ou r Brother too
,
.
And Sloppy— o n whom the brave deceased had never

turned her back until she ran away from h i m knowing that ,
otherwise he would n ot be separated fro m her Sloppy could

n ot i n his conscience as yet fin d the hearty thanks required
of it Sel fish in Sloppy and yet excusable it may be humbly
.
, ,
hoped because our Sister had been more than his mother
,
.
The words were read above the ashes O f Betty Higden in ,
a corner of a ch urchyard near the river ; in a churchyard

so obscure that there was nothing in it but grass mounds -
,
not so mu ch as one single tombstone It m i ght not be to .
d o an unreasonably great deal for the diggers and hewers in ,
a registering age if we tickete d their gr aves at the common

,
charge ; so that a new gene ration might know which was

which : so that the soldier sailor, emigrant coming home , , ,
should be able to identify the rest i n g place of father mother -

, ,
playmat e or betrothed F or we turn up our eyes a n d say

,
.
that we are all alike i n death and we mi ght turn them down ,
and work the saying out in this world so far I t would , .
'
be sentimental perhaps ? But how say ye m y lords and

, ,
gentlemen and honourable boards shall we not find good ,
standing room left for a li ttle sentiment if we look into ou r

-
,
crowds
Near unto the Reverend F rank Mi l v e y as he read stood
his little wife John Rok e s m i th th e Secretary and Bella
, ,
Wilfer These over and above Sloppy were the mou rners
.
, ,
at the lowly grave Not a penny had been added to the

.
money sewn in her dress : what her honest Spirit had so long
projected was fulfilled .
“
I ve took it in my head said Sloppy laying it i n c on
’
, , ,
“
solable against the church door when all was done : I ve
, ,
’
took it in my wretched head that I might have sometimes

turned a little harder for her and it cuts me deep to think ,
”
so now
Th e Reverend F rank Milv e y comforting Sloppy expounded
.
, ,
to him h o w the best O f us were more o r less remiss in ou r

turnings at our respective Mangles — some of us very much
s o —an d how we were all a halting failing feeble and i n c o n , , ,
stant crew .
“ ’
Sh e warn t sir said Sloppy taking this ghostly counsel
, , ,
rather ill I n behalf of his late be nefactress Let u s Speak .
for ou rs elves sir She went through with whatever duty she
, .
h a d to do She W ent through with me Sh e went through

.
,
with the Minders she went through with herself she went , ,
through with everything 0 Mrs Higd en Mrs Higden , . .

, .
you was a woman and a mother and a mangler in a million

million ! ”
With thos e heartfelt words Sloppy removed his dej ected ,
head from the church d oor and took it back to the grave in ,
“
the corner and laid it down th ere and wept alone Not a
very poor grave said the Reverend F rank Mi l ve y brushing
.
,
”
, ,
“
his hand across his eyes whe n it has that homely figure on ,
it Richer I think than it could be made by most of the

.
, ,
sculpture in Westminster Abbey

They left h i m undisturbed and pass ed out at the W icket ,
gate The water wheel of the paper mill was audi b le there
.
- -
,
and see med to have a softening influen ce on the bright wintry

scene They had arrived but a little while before and Lizzie
.
,
He xa m n o w told them the little she could add to the letter

in which Sh e had enclosed Mr Ro ke s m i th s lette r and had .
’
asked for their instructions This was merely how she had .
heard the groan ; and what had afterwards passed and how ,
she had obtained leave for the remains to be placed in that

sweet fresh empty store roo m of the mill from which they -
had just accompanied the mto the churchyard and how the
, ,
last request had been religiously O bserved .
“
I could not have done it all or n early all of myself , , ,
“
said Lizzie I should not have wanted th e will ; but I
.
should not h ave had the po wer without our managing ,
partner .
”
an influence on her own life and fortunes and her i nterest ,
though it had no secret springs like that of the Secretary , ,
was equally natural Both h ad expected to see something .
very d ifferent from the real Lizzie He x a m a n d thus it fell ,
out that she became the un conscious means of bringin g the m

together .
F or when they had walked on with her to the little hou se

in the clea n village by the paper mil l where Lizzie had a -
,
lodgi ng with an elderly couple employed in the establi shme n t

and when Mrs Mi l ve y and Bella had been up to see her
,
room and had come down the mill bell rang This called , .
Lizzie away for the t i me and left the Secretary and Be l la

stand i ng rather awkwardly in the small street Mrs Mil v e y
,
being engaged i n pursuing the vil lage chil dren and her ,
inves tigations whether they were in danger of becomi ng

children of Israel and the Reverend Fr ank bein g engaged
to say the truth — i n evading that branch of his spir itual
functions and getting out of sight surreptitiously
,
.
Bella at length sai d

Hadn t we better tal k about the commis sion we have
’
undertaken Mr Rok e s m i th ,
.
”
By all means said the Secretary , .
“ ”
I s u ppos e fa l te r e d Bella that we a r e bo th c o m m i s s ron e d
, , ,
’
or we shouldn t both be here
”
I suppose SO was the Secretary s answer ’
When I proposed to come with Mr and Mrs Milv e y sa id

.
,
.
.
,
“
Bella Mrs Bo ffin urged me to do so in order that I might
,
.
give her my smal l repo rt—i t s not worth anyth ing Mr Roke
,
’
.
,
smith except for its being a woman s — which indeed with you ’
may be a fresh reason for its be i ng worth noth i ng — o f L izzie

,
He x a m .
”
Mr Bo ffin said the Secreta r y, d i rected me to come for

.
,
”
the same p ur po s e .
As they spoke they were leaving the little street and

emerging on the wooded landscape by the river .
“
You think well of her Mr Ro k e s m i th pursued Bell a, ,
.
conscious of making all the advances .
“ ”
I th ink highly of her .
I am so glad O f that ! Something quite re fined i n her

”
beauty is there not ?
,
“
Her appearance i s ver y stri kin g .
“
There is a shade of sadness upon her that is quite touch
ing At least I — I am not setting up my own poor opinion
.
,
EQ U AL TE RM S ES TAB LI SH E D 61 1
you know Mr Rok e s m i th said Bella excu sing and explain

,
.
, ,
ing herse l f in a pretty shy way I am consulting you .
I noticed that sadness I hope it may not said the .

,
”
“
Secretary in a lower voice be the res ul t of the false ,
accu sation which has be en retracted .
When they had passed on a little further without speaking ,
Bella after stealing a glance or two at the Secretary su d

, ,
d e n l y said
“
Oh Mr Ro k e s m i th don t be hard with me d on t be
,
.
,
’
,
’
stern with me be magnanimous ! I want to talk with you

on equal terms .
“
The Se c re ta r y a s s u d d e n l y b r i gh te n e d and returned Upon ,
my honour I had no thought but for you I forced myself to .
be constrained lest you might misin terpret m y bein g more

,
’
natural There It s gone
. . .
“
Thank you said Bella holding out her little hand
, , .
F orgive me .
”
No cried the Secretary eagerly “

F orgive m e F or , .
there were tears in her eyes and they were prettier in his ,
sight (though they smote him on the heart rather reproach

fully too) than any other glitter in the world .
When they had walked a little further

“ ”
You were going to spe ak to me said the Secretary with , ,
the shadow so long on him quite thr own O ff and cast away ,
“
about Lizzie He x a m So was I going to speak to you if I
.
-
,
”
could have begun .
Now that you c a n begin sir returned Bella with a look , , ,
as if she italicised the word by putting one of h e r dimples

“
under it what were you go in g to say
,
You remember of course that in h e r short letter to Mrs

Bo fli n — short but containing everything to the purpose —she
, , .
stipulated that either her name or else her place of residence , ,
must be kept strictly a secret among u s .

”
Bella nodded Yes .
It is my duty to find out wh y she made that stipulation .
I have it in charge from Mr Boffin to discover and I am .

,
very desirous for myself to discover whether that retracted ,
accusation stil l leaves any stain upon h e r I mean whether .
it places her at any disadvantage towards any one even ,
t owards herself .
“
Yes said Bella nodding thoughtfully ; I understand
, , .
That seems wise and considerate .

”
“
You m a y not have noticed Mis s Wilfer that she has , ,
6I a OU R MUTU AL F RI E ND
the same kind of i nterest i n you that you have in her Just .
as you are attracted by her beaut — b y her appe arance a nd

manner she is attracte d by yours
,
.
“
I cer tainly have not noticed it retu rn ed Bella agai n , ,
“
italicising with the dimple and I should have given her ,
credit for
The Secretary with a smile held up h i s hand so plainly ,
“
interposing not for better taste that Bella s colour ,
” ’
deepened over the little piec e of coquetry she was checked in .
“
so resumed th e Secretary
,
”
if you wo u l d spe ak ,
with her alone before we go away from here I feel quite sure ,
that a natu ral and eas y confidence would ari se betwee n you .
Of course you would not be asked to betray it and of course

you wo u ld not if you were But if you do not O bj e ct to put
“
, .
this question to her— to ascertain for us her own feeling in

t hi s one matter — you can do so at a far greater advantage
than I or any e l se co u ld Mr Boffi n is anxious on the sub . .
“
j e c t And I am added the Secreta ry a tte r a moment for
”
.
, ,
”
a Special reaso n very an xi ous ,
.
I shall be happy Mr Rok e s m i th returned Bel la to be “

, .
, ,
of the least use ; for I feel aft er the serious scene of to day ,
-
,
that I a m useless enough i n th i s world .

”
”
Don t say that u rged the Secretary
’
,
.
Oh but I mean that said Bella rai sin g her eye b rows ” ’
, ,
.
NO one is usel ess in thi s world retorte d the Se cretary

,
”
, ,
”
who lighte ns the burden of it for any one els e .
‘
But I assure you I d on t Mr Ro k e s m i th said Bel la ’
,
.
,
half crying .
Not for your father

Dear loving self forgetting e a sil y s a ti s fie d Pa ! Oh yes !
, ,
-
,
-
,
He thinks s o .
”
“
It is enough if he only thi nks so sa id the Secre tary ,
.
Excuse th e interruption I d on t like to hear you d epreciate ’
”
yours elf .
But you once depreciate d m e sir thought Bella pouting , , , ,
and I hope you may be satisfied with the consequences you

brought upon your head However she said noth i ng to ,
that purp os e she even said somethi ng to a di fferent

purpose .
“
Mr Ro k e s m i th it seems so long since we spoke together
.
,
naturally that I am embarrassed in approaching another

,
s u bj ect Mr Bo ff m You know I am ve r y grateful to h i m

. . .
don t you
’
You know I feel a true respect for h i m and am ,
61 4 O UR MU TU AL F RI E ND
Assenting W I th a movement of his head though not at a l l ,
looking as if he did the Secretary replied

,
I have very strong reasons Miss Wilfer for bearing with , ,
the drawbacks of my position in the house we both inhabit .
Believe that they are not all mercenary although I have , ,
throu gh a series of strange fatalities faded out of my place ,
in life If what you see with su ch a gracious and good

.
sympathy is calculated to rouse my pride there are other ,
considerations (and those you do not see ) urging me to quiet

endurance The latter are by far the stronger
. .
I think I have noticed Mr Rok e s m i th said Bella look , .

,
”
,
“
ing at him with curiosity as not quite making him out that
, ,
you repress yourself and force yourself to act a passive part

,
.
You are right I repress myself an d force myse l f to act

.
a part It is not in tameness of spirit that I submit I have

. .
”
a settled purpose .
“
And a good one I h Op e said Bella , , .
And a good one I h Ope he answered looking ste adily

, , ,
at her .
Sometimes I have fancied sir said Bella turni ng away , , ,

“
her eyes that your great regard for Mrs Boffin is a very
,
.
powerful motive with you .
“
You are right again ; it is I woul d do anything fo r .
her bear anything for her There are no words to express

,
.
”
how I esteem that good good woman , .
“
As I do too ! May I ask you one thin g more Mr , .
Ro k e s m i th
“
Anythi ng more .
Of course you see that she really su ffers when Mr Boffin ,

.
shows how he is changing ?

I see it every day as you s e e it and am grieved to give
, ,
her pain .
”
To give her pain said Bella repeating the phrase ,
quickly with her eyebrows raised

,
.
“ ”
I am generally the u n fortunate cause of it .
Perhaps she says to you as she often says to me that , ,
he is the best of men in spite of a ll .

”
“
I often overhear her in her honest and beautifu l devotion
,
to him saying so to you returned the Secretary with the

, ,
”
same steady look but I cannot asse r t that she ever says
,
so to me .
”
Bella met the steady look for a moment with a wistful ,
musing little look of her own , an d then nodding her pretty ,

THE Two GIRL S TO G ETH E R 615
hea d several times like a d i m m ed philosopher (O f the very

,
best school) who was moralising on Life heaved a little sigh , ,
and gave up thin gs i n general for a bad j ob as she had ,
prev iously been inclined to gi ve up herself .
But for a ll that they had a very pleasant walk The

, ,
.
trees w ere bare of leaves and the river wa s bare of water ,
lilies ; but the sky was not bare of its beau tiful blu e a n d ,
the water reflected it an d a delicio u s wind r a n with the

,
stream touching the surface crisply Perhaps the old mirror

,
.
was never yet made by human han ds which if a ll the i m ages , ,
it had in its time reflected could pass across its surface again ,
would fail to reveal some scene of horror or distress But .
the great serene mirror of the river seemed as if it might

have reproduced all i t had ever reflected between those placid
banks and brought nothin g to the light save what was
,
peaceful pastoral and bloomin g

, , .
So they walked speaking of the newly fil l e d u p grave

, ,
-
,
and O f Johnny and of many things So on their return

they met brisk Mrs Mi l v e y com i ng to seek them with the
,
.
, ,
.
,
agreeabl e intelligence that there wa s no fear for the vil l age

children there being a Christian sch ool in the village and
,
no worse Judaical inte rference with it than to pl ant i ts

,
~
garden SO they got back to the village as Lizzie He xa m
.
,
was coming from the paper mill and Bella detached herself -
,
to spe ak with her in her own home .
“
I am afraid it is a poor room for you said Lizzie with , ,
a smile of welcome as she Ofie r e d the post of honou r by

,
the fireside .
“
Not so poor as you think my dear returned Bella if , , ,
”
you knew all Indeed though attaine d by so m e won d erful
.
,
winding narrow stairs which seeme d to have been erected ,
in a pure white chimney and though very low in the ceiling , ,
and very rugged in the floor and rather blinki n g as to the ,
propo rtions Of its lattice window it was a pleasanter room ,
than that despised chamber once at home in which Bella ,
had first bemoaned the miseries of taking lodgers .
The day was closing as the two girls looked at one a nother
by the fireside The dusky room was lighte d by the fire Th e
. .
grate might have been the old bra zier an d the glow might ,
have been the O l d hollow down by the flare .
“ ’ “
It s quite new to me said Lizzie to be visited by a ,
”
lady so nearly of my own age and so pretty as you It s , .

’
a pleasure to me to look at you .

”
6I6 O UR MUTUAL F RI E ND
I have nothin g l eft to b egin with return ed Bella , ,
“
blushing because I was going to say that it was a pleas u re
,
to me to look at you Liz zie But we can begin without a , .
beginning can t we ,
’
Lizzie took the pretty little hand that was hel d out in a s '
pretty a little frankness .
No w dear said Bella drawi ng her chair a little nearer

, ,
”
, ,
’
and taking Lizzie s arm as if they were goi ng out for a walk
‘ '
'
,
“
I am commissioned with something to say and I dare say ,
' ’
I shall say it wrong but I won t if I can help it It i s in
.
, .
refe rence to y our letter to Mr an d Mrs Bo ffin and this is . .

,
wh at it is Let me see Oh yes

. .
This is wh at it is .
,
.
With this exord i um Bella set forth that request of Liz zie s ,
’
touching secrecy and delicately spoke of that false accusation

,
and its retractation and asked might Sh e beg to be informed ,
whether it had any bearing near or remote on such request , ,

.
I feel my d ea r said B ella quite amazing herself by the

, ,
”
,
“
business like manner in which she was gett ing on that the ,
subje c t must be a painful one to you but I am mixed u p ,
in it also for— I don t kn ow Whether you may know it o r

,
’
su spect i t —I a m the willed a wa y girl who wa s to h a ve been -
m arried to the unf ortunate gentleman if he had been pleased

"
to approve of m e SO I was d r agged into the subject with

‘
-
.
out m y consent and you were dragged into it without your

'
,
.
consent and there is V ery little to choose be tween us

,
.
'
“ “
I had n o d o u b t said Lizzie that you were the Mis s ,
”
,
Wilfer I have O ften h eard named Can you te ll me who my .

'
unknown friend is
Unknown friend my dear said Bella ,
.
Who caused the charge against poor father to be contra

dicted and sent me the written paper
,
.
Bella had never heard of him Had no notion who he was . .
”
I S hould have been glad to thank him returned Lizzie ,
.
He has done a great deal for me I must hope that he will . _
let me thank him some day You asked me has it any thing .
to do
It or the accusation itself Bella put i n ,
.
Yes Has either anyth ing to do with my w i shing to live

.
quite secret and retired here NO .
As Lizzie He x a m shook her head I n gi ving this reply and ,
as her glance sought the fir e there was a quiet r esolution in ,

’
her folded hands not lost on Bella s bright eyes ,
.
Have you lived much alone asked Bella .

There is a certain man said Lizz ie a passionate and , ,
angr y man who says he loves me and who I must belie ve

, ,
does love me He is the friend of my b r other I shra n k

. .
from h i m within myself when my brother first brought him

to me ; but the last time I saw him he terrified me more ,
”
than I can say There she stopped
. .
“
Did you come here to escap e from h i m Lizzie ,
I came here immediately after h e so alarmed me .
Are you afraid of him here

I a m not timid generally, but I am always afraid of him .
I am afraid to see a n ewspaper or to hear a word spoken of ,
what is done in London lest he Should have done some ,
violence .
Then you are n ot afraid of him for yourself dear ? s a id ,
Bella after pondering on the words

, “
.
“
I should be even that if I met him about h e re I look , .
round for him al ways as I pass to and fro at night .

”
“
Are you afraid of anything he may do to himse l f in
London my dear ?
,
NO He might be fierce enough even to do some V iolence

.
to himself but I don t think of that

,
’
.
”
“
Then it would almost see m dear said Bella quaintly, , , ,
as if there must be somebody else

Lizzie put her hands before her face for a moment before ,
“
replying : The words are always I n my ears and the blow ,
he struck upon a stone wall as he said them i s always ,
before my eyes I have tried hard to think it not worth

.
rememberin g but I c a nnot make so little of it His han d

,
.
‘
was trickling down with blo od as he said to me Then I ,
hope that I may never kill him

Rather startled Bella made and clasped a girdle of her
,
arms round Lizzie s wais t, and then asked quietly in a soft

’
voice as they both looked at th e fire

,
Kill him Is this man so j ealous then \

, .
s
Of a gentleman said Lizzie — I hardly know how to .

,
tell you — o f a gentleman far above me and my way O f life .

,
who broke father s death to m e j a n d has shown an interest

’
in me since .
”
“
D oes he love you
Lizzie shook her head .
Does he admire you

Liz zie ceased to shake her h ead and pressed her hand ,
upon her living girdle .

LI ZZ I E C O N F ID E S IN B E LLA 61 9
Is it through his influence that you came here
’
Oh no ! And of all the world I wouldn t have him
,
know that I am here or get the least clue where to ,

”
find me .
“
Lizzie dear Why ? asked Bella in amazement at
, ,
this burst But then quickly added reading Lizzie s face

.
,
’
N 0 Don t say why That was a foolish question of mine

.
’
. .
”
I see I see
. .
There was sil ence between them Lizzie with a dro oping .
,
head glanced down at the glow in the fire where her firs t
,
.
fancies had been nursed and her first escape made from the ,
grim life out of which she had plucked her brother, fore
seeing her reward .
“
You know all now Sh e s aid raising her eyes to Bella s , ,
’
.
There is nothin g left out Th i s is my reason for living .
secret here with the aid of a good O l d man who is my true

,
friend F or a short part O f my life at home with father

.
,
I knew O f things — don t ask me what— that I set my face ’
against and tried to better I don t think I could have done

,
.
’
more then without letting my hold on father go but they

,
sometimes lie heavy on m y mind By doing a l l for the best -

.
,
I hope I may wear them out .

”
“ “
And wear out too said B e lla soothingly this weakness ,
”
, ,
Liz zie in favour O f one who is not worthy of it

, .
”
“ ’ ”
No I don t want to wear that out was the flushed
.
,
“
reply nor do I want to believe nor do I believe that he
, , ,
is not worthy of it What should I gain by that and how .

,
much should I lose ! ”
’
B e lla s expressive little eyebrows remonstrated with the
fire for some short time before she rej oined
“
Don t think that I press you Liz zie ; but wouldn t you
’
,
’
gain in peace and h ope and even in freedom ,

Would n t it ,
’
be better not to live a secret life in hiding and not to be shut ,
out from your natural and wholesome prospects ? F orgive

my asking you would that be n o gai n ,
Does a woman s heart that — that has that weakness in ’
it which you have Spoken of returned Lizzie seek to gain ,

”
anything
The question was so directly at variance with Bella s views ’
in life as set forth to her father that she said internally

, , ,
“
There you littl e mercenary wretch ! Do you hear that ?
,
’
Ain t you ashamed of you rself and u nclasped the girdle of
her arms expressly to give herself a penitential poke in the Side
, .
Bu t y o u said Lizzie Observed Bella returning to her
, , ,
s u bj ect whe n she had ad m in istered this chastisement that “

,
y o u wo u ld lose besides , Wo u ld you m i nd tell i ng me what

.
you would l ose Lizzie ,

“
I s h ould lose some of the best recollections bes t e n ,
c o u r a g e m e n ts ,
and best obj ects that I carry through my ,
daily life I shoul d lose my b elief that if I h ad been his

.
equal and he had loved me I should have tried with all

, ,
my might to make h i m better and ha ppier as he would have ,
made me I should lose almost all the value that I put upon
.
the little learning I have which is a ll owing to him and , ,
which I conquered the diffic u lties of that he might not think ,
it thrown away upon me I should lose a kind of picture

of h i m —or of what he might have been if I had been a lady
.
and he had lo ved me —which is always with me and which

, ,
I so m eho w feel that I could not do a mean or a wrong thing

before I should leave off prizing the remembrance that he
.
has done me nothing but good since I have known him an d ,
that he has made a change within me li ke — like th e change ,
in the grai n of these hands which were coarse and cracked , , ,
and hard and brown when I rowed on the river with father
, ,
a n d are softened a n d made supple by this new work as you
see them n o w .
”
They tre m bled but with no weakness as she showed

, ,
them .
Understand me my dear ; thus she went on

,
I have .
never dream e d of the possibil ity of his being anything to me

on th i s earth but the kind of picture that I know I coul d
not make y o u understand if the u nderstanding was not in ,
your own breast already I have no more drea med of the

.
possibility of my bei ng h is W ife than he ever has — an d ,
words could not be stronger than that And yet I love .
him I love him so much an d so dearly tha t when I some

.
,
times think my l ife may be but a weary one I am prou d of ,
it and glad of it I am proud and glad to su ffer something

.
for him even thoug h it is of no service to him and he will

, ,
never know of it o r care fo r it .

”
Bella sat enchained by the deep unselfish p assion of this ,
girl or woman of her own age coura geously revealin g itsel f ,
in the confi dence of her sympathetic perceptio n of its truth .
And ye t she had never experienced anyt hing like it or ,
th ough t O f the exis te nce of anything l i ke it .
“ ”
It was late upo n a wretched night said Lizzie when , ,
a certainty of not going wro n g—what I thought I should
never say to any o n e Does that l ook ill ? .
N 0 I hope it doesn t pouted Bella stopping herself in

,
’
,
”
,
something between a humoured laugh and a humoured

sob.
I used once to see pictures in the fire said Lizzie play , ,

“
fully to please my brother Shall I tell you what I see
, .
down there where the fire is glowing ?

They had risen and were standing on the hearth the time
, ,
being come for separating each had drawn an a r m aroun d

the other to take leave .
Shall I tell you asked Lizzie what I s ee down , ,
there
“
Limited little b suggested Bella with her eyebrows ,
raised
A heart well worth w inning and w
.
ell won A heart '

“
.
,
that once won goes thro u gh fire and water for the winner
, , ,
and never changes and is never dau nted ,

.
”
Girl s heart asked Bella with accompanying eyebrows

’
, .
Lizzie nodded And the figure to which it belongs

.
Is yours suggested Bella ,

”
.
N 0 Most clearly and distinctly y ours

. .
SO the intervi ew termi nated with pleasant words on both

sides and with many reminders on the part of Bella that
,
they were friends and p ledges that she would soon come ,
down into that part of the count r y again Therewith Lizzie .
returned to her occupation and Bel la ran over to the little ,
inn to rej oin her company .
“
You look rather se rious Miss Wilfer was the Secre , ,
tary s first remark

’
.
I feel rather serious returned Miss Wilfer ,

.
She had nothing else to tell him but that Liz zie He xa m s -
’
secret had no reference whatever to the cruel charge or its ,
withd rawal Oh yes though ! said Bella : she might as wel l

.
mention one other thing Lizzie was very desirous to thank

her unknown frien d who had sent her the written retracta
tion . Was she indeed observed the Secre tary Ah .
Bella asked him had he any notion who that unknown ,

-
friend might be ? He h a d no notio n whatever .
They were on the borders of Oxfordshire so far had poor ,
old Betty Higden strayed They were to return by the train .
presently and the station being near at hand the Rev

, , ,
.
F rank and Mrs F rank and Sloppy and Bella and the .
,
B E LL A AND THE SE CRE TARY AGAIN 62 3
Secretary set out to walk to it F ew r ustic paths are w i de

,
.
enough for five an d Bella and the Secretary dropped behind

,
.
“ “
Can you believe Mr Ro k e s m i th said Bella that I feel
, .
,
”
,
as if whole years had passed since I went into Lizzie He xa m s ’
cottage
We have crowded a good d e al into the day he returned , ,
and you were much affected in the churchyard You are .
”
over tired
-
.
“
No I am not at all tired I have not quite expressed
, .
what I mean I do n t mean that I feel as if a great space

.
’
O f time had gone by but that I feel as if mu ch had happened

—
,
to myself you know , .

”
F or good I hope ,
I hope so said Bella ,

.
You are cold I felt you tremble Pray l et me put this .
wrapper of mine about you May I fold it over this Shoulder .
without inj uring your dress Now it will be too heavy and
too long Let me carry this end over my arm as you have
.
,
”
no arm to give me .
Yes she had though How she got it out in her muffled
, .
state Heaven knows but she got it out somehow— there it

was—and slipped i t through the Secretary s
,
’
.
I have had a long and i nteresting tal k with Lizzie Mr ,

.
Rok e s m i th and she gave me her full confidence

, .
She could not withhold I t said the Secretary .
I wond er how you come said Bella stopping short as , ,

“
she glanced at him to say to me j ust what she said ,
about it
“
I i nfer that it must be becau se I feel just as she felt
”
about it .
“ ”
And h ow was that do you mean to say sir ? asked , ,
Bella moving again

, .
That if you were inc l ined to win her c o n fid e n c e — any

body s c o n fid e n c e — you were sure to do it
’
.
”
The railway at this point knowingly shuttin g a green eye

, ,
and O pening a red one they had to run for it As Bella ,

.
could not run easily so wrapped u p the Secretary had to ,
help her When she took her O pposite place in the carriage
.
corner the brightness in h e r face was so charming to behold

, ,
that on her exclaiming What beautiful stars and what ,

“
a glorious night ! the Secretary said Yes but seemed to ,
”
prefer to see the night and the stars in the light of h e r lovely
little countenance to looking out of window , .
O hoofer lady fascin ating h oofer lady ! If I were but
,
legally executor of Johnny s will ! If I had but the right

’
to pay your legacy and to take your receipt — Something to

this purpose surely mingled with the blast of the train as it
cleared the stations all knowi ngly Shuttin g up their green
,
eyes and Ope n ing their red ones when they pre p ared to let
the h oofer lady pass .
indeed F ine in more ways than one I think ! I d give
.
-
,
’
the dustman five sh illings to carry you o ff in the dust cart ”
NO no pleaded the absurd creature

.
, ,
”
Please .
He s enough to break his mother s heart is this boy

’ ’
said Miss Wren half appealing to Eugene I wish I had

, .
never brought him up He d be sharper than a serpent s .

’ ’
tooth if he wasn t as dull as ditch water Look at him

,
’
. .
’
There s a pretty O bj ect for a parent s eyes !
’
Assuredly in his worse than swini sh state (for swine at

,
least fatten on their guzzl i ng and make themselves good to ,
eat ) he was a pretty O bj ect fo r any eyes

,
.
A muddling and a swipey Ol d child said Miss Wren

’
, ,
“
rating him wi th great severity fit for nothing b u t to be ,
preserved in the liquor that destroy s him and put in a g reat ,
glass bottle as a Sight for other swipey chil dren o f his own
'
pattern — if he has n o c on s i d e r a ti on for his l iver has he none

‘
, ,
for his mother

“ ’
Yes Deration oh don t ! cried the subj ect of these
.
,
”
ang ry remarks .
Oh don t and oh don t pursued Miss W ren

’
It s oh ’
,
”
.
’
”
do and O h do And why do you ? .
“
Won t do so any more Won t indeed Pr ay
’
.
’
.
There Said Miss Wren covering her eyes with her ,

“
hand I can t bear to look at you G O u p stairs and g et
’
-
. .
me my bo nnet and shawl Make yourself useful in some .
way bad boy and let me have your room instead of your
, ,
”
company for one half minute .
Obeying her he shambled out and Eu gene W r a y b u r n saw

, ,
the tears exude fro m between the little creature S fingers as ’
she kept h er hand before her eyes He was sorry but his .
,
sympathy did not move his carelessness to do anything but

feel sorry
I m going to the Italian Opera to t ry on said M
.
“ ’
iss ,
Wren taking away her hand after a little W hile and laugh
, ,
ing satirically t o hide that she had been crying ; I m ust “
see your back before I go Mr W r a y b u r n Let me first t ell , . .
you once for all that it s of no use you r paying visits t o

, ,
’
’
me You wouldn t get what you want of me no not if
‘
.
, ,
y o u brought pincers with you to tear it out .
’
Are you so obstinate on the subj ect of a doll s dress for
my godchild
Ah ! returned Miss Wren with a hitch of her chin
”
,
I am so obstinate An d of cou r se it s on the subj ect of .

’
MR . D O LL S IN DI SGRAC E 62 7
a doll s dress— o r —
.
a d dress whichever you like

Get along .
and give it up
Her degraded charge had come back and Wa s standing ,
behind her with the bonnet and shawl .
’
G ive em to me and get back into your corner you ,
”
naughty O l d thing ! said Miss Wren as sh e turned and ,
espied him . No no I Won t have your help G O into

, ,
’
. ,
you r corner this minute

,
The miserable m an feebly rubbing the back of his falter

,
ing hands downwards from the wrists shu ffled on to his ,
post of disgrace but not without a cur io us glance at Eugene

in pa s s i n g h i m accompanied with what seemed as if it
'
might have b e e n an action O f his elbow if any action of any ,
limb o r j oint he had would have answered truly to his will .
Taking no more particular notice of him than i nstinctively

falling away from the disagreeable contact Eugene wit h , ,
a lazy compliment or so t o Miss Wren, begged l eave to

light his cigar and departed .
Now you prodigal old son said J enny shaking her , ,
head and her emphatic little forefinger at her burden you ,
sit there till I come back You dare to move out of your .
corner for a Single i nsta nt while I m gone and I ll know the ’
,
’
reason why .
With this admonition s h e b l e w h e r work candles out

,
’
leaving h i m to the light of the fir e and taking her big , ,
door key in her pocket and her c rutch stick in her hand
- -
,
marched o ff
-
.
Eugene lounged slowly towards the Temple smok i ng his ,
cigar but saw no more of the do l ls dressmaker through the

,
’
accident of their taking opposite sides of the street He '

.
lounged alo ng mo odily an d stopped at Ch a r i n g Cr os s to look

,
about him with as little interest in the crowd as any man

,
might take and was loun ging on again when a most

, ,
u nexpected object caught his eyes No less an Object than .
’
Jenny Wren s bad boy trying to make up his mind to cross
the road .
A more ridiculous and feeble spectacle than this totterin g

wretch making unsteady Sallies into the roadway an d as ,
O ften staggering back again oppressed by terrors of vehicles,
that were a lo n g way Off or were nowhere the streets could ,
not have shown Over an d over again when the course

.
,
was perfectl y clear he Se t out got half way described a loop

, ,
-
, ,
turned , and went back again when he might have crossed ,

and r e crossed half a dozen times
- -
Then he would stan d
-
.
shivering on the edge of the pavement l ooking up the street ,
and looking down wh i l e scores of people j ostled him and

, ,
crossed and went on Stimul ated in course of time by the

,
.
sight of so many successes he would make another sally , ,
make another l oop woul d all but have his foot on the
,
O pposite pavement would see or imagine something coming

, ,
and would stagger back again There he would stand .
making spas m odic preparations as if fo r a great leap and at ,
l ast woul d decide on a start at precisely the wrong moment ,
an d would be roared at by drivers and woul d shrink back ,
once more and stand in the O l d spot shivering with the

, ,
whole of the procee dings to go through again

”
It strikes me remarked Eugene coolly after watching
, ,
him for some minutes that my friend is likely to be rather

,
behind time if he has any appointment o n hand With .
which remark he strolle d on and took no further thought ,
of him .
Lightwood was at home when he got to the Chambers ,
and had d ined alone there Eugene drew a chair t o the fire .
by which h e was having his wine and reading the evening

’
paper and brought a glass and filled it for good fellowship s
, ,
sake .
“
My dear Mortimer you are the express picture of con ,
tented industry reposing (on credit) after the virtuo us labours

,
”
of the day .
“
My dear Eugene you are the express picture of dis
,
contented idleness not reposing at all Where have you .
”
been ?
“
I have been replied r a yb u r n
,
—about town I have W ,
.
turned up at the p r esent j unc ture with the intention of ,
consulting my highly intelligent and respecte d solicitor on

the position O f my affairs ”
Your highly intelligent and respecte d solicitor is of

.
O pinion that your a ffairs are in a bad way Eugene

”
.
,
“ “
Though whether said Eugene thoughtfully that can
,
”
,
be intelligently said now of the affairs of a client who h as

, ,
nothing to lose an d who cannot possibly be made to pay ,
may be open to question .

”
“
You have fallen into the hands of the Jews Eugene , .
My dear boy returned the debtor very composedly

,
”
,
taking up his glass having previously fallen i n to the hands

,
”
of some of the Christians I can bear it with philosophy ,
.
But if you do care for her so much the more should you ,
leave her to herself .

”
“
Having again paused as before Eugene said : I don t ,
’
know that e ither But tell me Did you ever see me take
,
. .
SO much trouble about anything as about this disappear ,
ance of hers ? I ask for information

My dear Eugene I wish I ever had
, .
Then you have not ? Just so You confirm my Own

,
.
impression Does that lo ok as if I cared for her ? I ask

.
,
for information .
”
“
I asked y ou for information Eugene said Mortimer , , ,
reproachfully .
“
Dear boy I know it but I can t give it I thirst for
, ,
’
.
information What do I mean ? . If my taking so much

trouble to recover her does not mean that I care for her ,
‘
W hat does it mean If Pete r Piper picked a peck of pickled
pepper where s the peck & c
,
’
,
’
.
Though he said t his gaily he said it with a perplexed ,
and in quisitive face as if he actually did not know what to ,
make O f himself L ook on to the end Lightwood was

.
beginning to remonstrate when he caught at the words ,

“
Ah ! See now ! That s exactly what I am incapable O f ’
doing How very acute you are Mortimer i n fin ding my

.
, ,
weak place ! When we were at school together I got up ,
my lessons at the last moment day by day and bit by bit ;

.
,
now we are out in life together I get up my lessons in the ,
same way In the present task I have not got beyond this
.
— I am bent on finding Lizzie and I mean to find her and

, ,
I will take any means of finding her that O ffer themselves . .
Fair means or foul means are a ll alike to me I ask you .
for information — what does that mean When I have found

her I may ask you — also for information — what do I mean '
’
now But it would be premature in this stage and it s not ,
”
the character O f my mind .
Lightwood was shaking his head over the air with which
his friend held forth thus— a n air so whimsically O pen and
argumentative as al most to deprive what he said O f the
appearance O f evasion — when a s h u fii i n g was heard at the ’
outer door an d then an undecided knock as though some

, ,
hand were groping for the knocker The frolicsome youth .
of the neighbourhood said Eugene whom I should be , ,
delighted to pitch from this elevation into the churchyard

below withou t any intermediate ceremonies, have probably
,
MR . D O LL S INTR O DUC E D TO M O RTIM E R 63 I
turned the lamp out I am on duty to night and will see .

-
,
to the door .
”
His friend had barely had time to recall the unprecedented

gleam of determination with which he had spoken of finding
this girl and which had faded out of him with the breath O f
,
th e spoken words when Eugene came back ushering in a , ,
most disgraceful shadow of a man shaking from head to foot , ,
and clothed in shabby grease and smear .
This interesting gentleman said Eugene is the son , ,
the o ccasionally rather trying son for he has his failings

My dear Mortimer— Mr
,
O f a lady O f my acquaintance . .
Dolls . Eugen e had no idea what his name was knowing

”
,
the little dressmaker s to be assumed but presented h i m with ’
easy confidence under the first appellation that his associations

suggested .
I gather m y dear Mortime r pursue d E u gene as Light 7

,
“
, ,
“
wood stared at the O bscene V isitor from th e manner O f ,
Mr Dolls — W hich is occasionally complicated — that he

.
desires t o make some communication to me I have .
mentioned to Mr Dolls that you an d I are on terms O f .
confidence and have requested Mr Dolls to develop his

,
.
”
views here .
The wretched O bj ect being mirch embarrassed by h Ol di n g

what remain ed O f his hat Eugene airily tossed it to th e ,
d oor and put h i m down in a chair

,
.
“ ”
It will be necessary I think he O bserved to win d up , , ,
Mr Dolls be fore anything to any mortal purpose can be g o t

.
,
out of him Brandy Mr Dolls or

.
,
.
,
Th r e e pe n n or th Rum said Mr Dolls

’
,
”
. .
A j udiciously small quantity O f the Spirit was given him

in a wine glass and he began to convey it to his mouth
-
, ,
with all kinds O f falterings and gyrations on the road .
The nerves of Mr Dolls remarked Eugene to Lightwood .

,
”
,
are considerably unstrung And I deem it on the whole .
expedient to fumigate Mr Dolls . .

”
He took the Shovel from the grate sprinkled a few live ,
a s hes on it and from a box on the chimney piece to ok a

,
-
few pastilles wh ich he set upon them ; then with great

, ,
composure began placidly waving the shovel in front O f Mr

, .
Dolls to cut him O ff from hi s company

, .
Lord bless my soul Eugene cried Lightwood laughing , ,

“
again what a mad fellow you are
,
Why does this creature
come to see you
63 2 OU R MUTUAL F RI E ND
We shall hear said IVr a y b u r n very observant of his , ,
face withal Now then Speak out Don t be afraid

. . .
’
.
State your business Dolls , .
Mist W r a yb u r n said the visitor thickly an d huskily ,

—Ti s Mist W r a y b u r n ain t
.
’
With a stupid stare ,
’
.
Of course it is Look at me What do you want . .
“
Mr Dolls collapsed in his chair and fain tly said Three
.
,
penn orth Ru m
’
.
”
“
Will you do me the favour my dear Mortimer to wind , ,
“ ”
up Mr Dolls agai n
.
? said Eugene I am occupied with .
the fumigation .
”
A similar quantity was poured into his glass and he got ,
it to his lips by similar circuitous ways Having drunk it .

,
Mr Dolls with an evident fear of running down again u nl ess

.
,
he made h aste proceeded to business , .
Mist W ra yb u r n Tried to nudge you but you would n t .

,
.
You want that d r e c ti o n You want t k n ow where she lives .

’
.
DO you Mist W r a yb u r n
,
With a glance at his friend E ugene replied to the question ,

“
sternly I do ,
.
”
“
I a m er man said Mr Dolls t r ying to smite himself
, .
,
on the breast but bringing his hand to bear upon the

, _
”
vicinity of his eye er do it I am er man er do it ,
. .
What are you the man to do demanded Eugene stil l ,
sternly .
“
E r give up that d r e c ti o n .
Have you got it

With a most laborious attempt at pride and dignity Mr , .
Dolls rolled his head for some time awakening the highest ,
expectations and then answered as if it were the happiest ,
point that could possibly be ex pe cted O f h i m : NO

,
“
What do you mean then ? ”
Mr Dolls collapsing in the d rowsiest manner after his

.
,
Th r e e p e nn o r th Rum
”
late intellectual triumph replied ,
’
.
Wind h i m up again my dear Mortimer said W r a y b u r n ; , ,

”
wind him up again .

”
Eugene Eugene u rged Lightwood in a low voice as he

, , ,
“
’
complied can you stoop to the use O f such a n i n s tr u m e n t

,
a s this
I said was the reply made with that former gleam of

, ,
“
determination that I would find her out by any means ,
These are foul and I ll take them — i f I am

,
fair or foul .
,
’
,
not first tempted to break the head Of Mr Dolls with the .

MR . D O LL S W ILL G ET THE DI RE CTI O N 635
fumigator Can y o u get the direction

. DO you mean that ?
Speak ! If that s what you have come for say how mu ch ’
you want .
“
Ten shillings Th r e e pe n n o r th s Rum said Mr Dolls -
’
,
. .
You shall have it .

”
F ifteen shillings —Th r e e p e n n o r th s Rum said Mr D olls ’
,
. ,
making an attempt to stiffen himself .
“
Y o u shall have it Stop at that How will you get . .
the directi on you talk of ?

“
I am er man said Mr Dolls with maj esty er get it sir ,
”
.
, , , .
How will you get it I ask you ,
I am ill used vidual said Mr Dolls -

Blown up ,
”
. .
morning t n i gh t Called names Sh e makes Mint money

’
. .
,
sir and never stands Th r e e pe n n or th Rum

,
’
.
‘
Get on rej oined Eugene tapping his palsied head with
,
”
the fire shovel as it sank on his breast

-
W hat comes n ext
, .
Making a dignifie d attempt t o gather himself together ,
but as it were dropping half a dozen pieces Of himself while

, ,
- -
he tried in vain to pick up on e Mr Dolls swaying his head ,

.
,
from side to Side regarded his questioner with what he ,
supposed to be a haughty smile and a scornful glance “

“
She looks upon me a s m ere child sir I a m NO T mere ,
.
child sir Man Man talent Le r r e r s pass betwixt em Post

, . . .
’
.
man l e r r e r s Easy for man talent er get d r e c ti o n a s get his

.
,
own d r e c ti o n .
“
Get it then said Eugene ; addi n g very heartily u nder ,
’
his breath — You Brute ,

Get it and brin g it here to me , ,
’
and earn the money fo r sixty th r e e pe n n o r th s of r u m a n d ,
drink them all one atop of another and drink yourself dead
:
, ,
with all possible expedition Th e latter clauses O f these .

”
special instructions he addressed to the fire as he gave it ,
back the ashes he had taken from it and replaced the ,
shovel .
Mr Dolls now struck out the highly unexpected disco v ery

.
that he had been insulted by Lightwood and stated h i s ,

“
desire to have it out with him on th e spot and defied him ,
to come on upon the libera l terms Of a sovereign to a half

penny Mr Dolls then fell a c ryi n g and then exhibited a
,
.
-
.
,
tendency to fall asleep This last manifestatio n as by far the .

,
most alarm i ng by reason of its threatening his prolonged ,
stay on the premises ne ce ssitated vigorous measures , .
Eugene picked up his worn out hat with the tongs clapped -
it on his head and taking him by the collar—all this at

,
, ,
63 6 O UR MU TUAL FRI E ND
arm s length — conducted him down stairs and out O f the
’
-
precincts into F lee t Street There he turned his face west .

,
ward and left him

,
.
When he got back Lightwood was Standing over the fire , ,
brooding in a su ffi ciently low Spirited manner -

.
“
I ll wash my hands of M r Dolls— physically
’
.
,
“
Eugene and be with you again directly Mortimer
, ,
.
I wo u ld mu ch prefer retorted Mortimer “

you r Washing ,
”
your hands of Mr Dolls morally Eugene .

, , .
’
SO would I said Eugene ; but you see dear boy I can t

,
”
, ,
’
do without him .
In a m i n u te o r two he resumed his chair as perfectly ,
unconcerned as u sual a n d r a l li e d his friend on having so ,
narrowly escaped the prowess of their muscular visitor .
“ ”
I can t b e a m u s e d O n this theme said Mortimer rest
’
'
.
, ,
lessly You can make almost any theme amusing to me

. .
Eugene b u t not this ,

.
”
“ “
Well ! cried Eugene ”
I am a little ashamed O f it ,
”
myself and therefore let u s change the subject
, .
“
It is SO deplorably underhanded said Mo rtimer It ,
”
.
is S O unworthy of you this setting on O f such a shamefu l ,

”
scout .
“
We have changed the subj ect ! exclaim e d Eugene ”
,
“
airily . We have found a new one in that word scout ,
.
Don t be like Patience on a mantelpiece frowning at Dolls

’
,
but sit down and I ll tell you something that you really
,
’
will find amusing Take a c i gar Look at this of mine . . .
I light i t draw one p f —b 1 eathe the smoke out — there it

.
goes — i t s Dolls —i t s gone and being gone you are a man

’ ’
, ,
agai n .
“
Your s u bj ect said Mortimer after lighting a cigar
, , ,
“
and comforting himself with a whi ff or two was scouts , ,
Eugene .
”
Exactly Isn t it droll that I never go out after dark

.
’
,
but I find mysel f at ten ded always by one scout and O ften , ,
by two
Lightwood took his cigar fr o m his lips in surprise and ,
looked at his fI i e n d as if with a latent suspicion that there

,
must be a j est or hidden meaning in his words .
“
On my honou r no said W r a y b u r n answering the look , ,
’’
,
“
and smiling carelessly I don t wonder at your supposing ’
so but on my hon our no I say what I mean I never go

out after dark but I find m
. .
, ,
yself I n the ludicrous Situation

,
’
chambermaid a dancer s Reading of a hornpipe a Singer s
, ,
’
Reading of a song a marine painter s Reading of the sea

,
’
,
’
the kettle dr u m s Reading of an instrumental passage are
-
,
phrases ever youthfu l and delightful ) I was mentioning .
your percep tion of my weak nesses I own to the weakness .
O f obj ecting to occupy a ludicrou s position and therefore I ,
transfer the position to the scou ts .

”
“
I wish Eugene you would speak a little more soberly
, ,
and plainly if it were only out O f consideration for my fee l

,
”
ing less at ease than you do .
Then soberly and plainly Mortimer I goad th e s c h ool , ,
master to madness I make the schoolmaster so ridiculous.

,
and so a ware of being made rid iculou s that I see him chafe ,
and fret at every pore when we cross one an other The .
amiable occupation has b e en the solace O f my life since I ,
was baulked in the manner u nnecessary to recall I have .
derived inexpressible c omfort from it I do it thus I str oll . .
out afte r dark stroll a little way look in at a window and

,
‘
furtively look out fo r the sch oolm aster Sooner or late r I .

,
per ceive the school m aster on the watch s ometimes a e com

pa n i e d by his hopefu l p u pil ; O fte ner pupil less Having -
.
made sure of his watching me I tempt him on all over , ,
London One night I go east another night north in a few

.
, ,
nights I go all round the compass Sometimes I walk ; .

,
someti m es I proceed in cabs d ra ining the pocket of the

, ,
schoolmaster who then follo ws in cabs I study an d get up

,
.
abstruse NO Tho roughfares in the course of the day With .
Venetian mys tery I seek those NO Thoroughfares at night ,
glide into them by means of dark courts tempt the scho ol ,
master to follow turn suddenly, and catch him before he

,
can retreat Then we face one another and I pass him as

.
,
u n a ware of his existence a n d he undergoes grinding tor ,
ments .Similarly I walk at a great pace down a short

,
street rapidly turn the corner and getting out of h i s v i e w

, , , ‘ ,
as rapidly turn back I catch him comi n g on post again .

,
pass him as unaware O f his existence and again he undergoes ,
grinding torments Night after night his disappointment is

.
acute b u t hope springs eternal in the scholastic breast and

, ,
he follo ws me again to morrow Thus I enj oy the pleasures -

.
of the chase and derive great benefit from the healthful

,
.
exercise When I do not enj oy the pleasures of the chase

. ,
for anything I know he watches a t the Temple Gate all '
n ight .
”
THE P L EASUR E S O F THE CH ASE 63 9
This is an extraordin ary story observ ed Lightwood wh o , ,

’
had hea rd it out with serious attention I don t like it . .
”
You are a little hipped dear fellow said Eugene you , ,
have been too sedentary Come and enj oy the pleasures of .
”
the chase .
Do you mean that y o u believe he is watching now

”
I have not the slightest doubt he is .
Have you seen him to night -
I forgot to look for him when I was last out returned ,
Eugene with the cal mest indi fference ; but I dare say he
,
was there Come ! B e a British sportsma n and enj oy the

.
,
”
pleasures of the chase It will do you good . .
. Lightwood hesitated but yielding t o his curiosity rose , ,

.
Bravo cried Eugene rising too Or if Yoicks would ,

.
,
b e in better keeping consider that I said Yoicks ,

L ook to .
your feet Morti mer for we shall try your boots When
,
.
you are ready I a m — n eed I say with a Hey HO Chivy and

,
likewise with a Hark F orward Hark F orward Tantivy , ,
Will noth i n g make you serious ? said Mortim er l augh ,
ing through his gravity .
I am always serious but j ust now I am a little excited ,
by the glorious fact that a southerly wind and a C loudy sky

proclaim a hunting evening Ready ? So We turn out . .
the la mp and shut the doo r and take the field , .
As the two friends passed out O f the Temple i nto the

public street Eugene demanded with a Show of courteous
,
patronage in which direction Mortim er would like the run

to be ? There i s a rather difficult cou ntry about Bethnal
Green ,
said Eugene and we have not taken in that
,
d i rection lately What is your opinion of Bethnal Green

.
Mortim er assented to Bethnal Green and they turned east ,

’
ward . Now when we come to St Paul s churchyard
,
.
,
“
pursued Eugene we ll loiter artfully and I ll Show you
,
’
,
’
the schoolma ster But they both saw him before they got
.
there ; alone and stealing after them in the shadow Of the

,
houses on the opposite side of the way

, .
“ “ ”
Get your wind said Eugene for I am O ff d irectly
, ,
.
Does it occ ur to you that the boys O f Merry England will

begin to d eteriorate in an educational light if this lasts long ,
’
The schoolmaster can t atte nd to me and the boys too Got .
your W ind I am O ff
At what a rate he went to breathe the schoolmaster and ,
how he then lo u nged and loitered to put his patience to ,

another kind of wear ; what preposterous ways he took with “
,
'
no other obj ect on earth than to di sappoint and punish him ;

and h ow he wore h i m out by every piece O f in genuity that
his eccentric humo u r coul d devise a ll thi s Lightwood noted ,
with a feeling of astonishment that so careless a man could

be so wary and that so idle a man could take so much
,
trouble At last far on in the third h o ur of the pleasures

.
,
of the chase when he h a d brought the poor dogging wretch

,
ro und again into the C ity h e twisted Mo r ti mer up a few

dark entries t w
,
isted h im into a little square court twiste d

, ,
him sharp round again and they almost ran agai nst Bradley ,
Headstone .
“
And you see as I wa s Saying, Mortimer remarked ,
'
’
Eugene al o ud with the utmost C O O hI e s s as though there

, ,
“
were no one within hearing but themselve s ; an d you see ,
as I was saying — u n d ergo i ng gri n ding to r ments .

”
It was not too Strong a phrase for the occa sion Look i ng .
like the hunted and not the hunter baffled worn with the
, , ,
exhaustion of deferre d hope a nd consuming hate and an ger

in his face white lipped wil d eyed ~
,
draggle haired seamed-
,
-
,
-
,
wit h jealousy and a n ger and torturing himself wi th the ,
conviction that he showed it all and they exulted in it he '

,
went b y them in the dark like a haggard head suspended

'
in the a i r : so completely did the force of his expressi on

cancel his figure
Mortimer Lightwood was not an extraordinari ly i m pr e s
sible ma n but thi s face i mp ressed him He Spoke O f it
,
.
more than once on the remainder O f the way home a n d more ,
than once when they got home .
They had been a bed I n their respective rooms two or three -
hours when Eugene was partly awakened by hearing a foot

,
step going abo u t and was ful ly awakened by seei n g Light

,
wood standing at his bedside .
“
Nothing wrong Mortim er 9 ,
NO .
“
What fancy takes you th en for walking about , ,

in the
ni ght 9 .
I am ho r ribly wakeful
How comes t h at about I wonder ,
’
Eugen e I cannot lose S ight O f that fellow s face
,
.
“I
Odd said Eugene with a light laugh
,
”
can , ,
. And
turn ed over and fell asleep again ,
.
6 42 OU R MUTU AL FRI E ND
Granted that he may not have held it necessary to make
,
express mention to himself O f the one familiar truth any

more than of the other .
He knew equally well that he fed his wrath and hatred ,
and that he accumulated provocation and self j u s ti fic a ti on -

,
by being made the nightly sport of the reckless an d insolent

Eugene Knowing all this and still always going on with
.
,
infinite endurance pains and perseverance could his dark

, , ,
soul do u bt whither h e went ?

Baffled exasperated and weary he lingered Opposite the
, , ,
Temple gate when it closed on W r a yb u r n and Lightwood ,
debating with himself should he go home for that time or

should he watch longer Possessed in his j ealousy by the .
fixed idea that W r a yb u r n was in the secret if it were not ,
altogether of h i s contriving Bradley was as confident of ,
getting the better of him at last by sullenly stickin g to him ,
as he would have been — and O ften had bee n — Of mastering

any piece of study in the way of his vocation by the like ,
slow persistent process A man of rapid passions an d .
sluggish intelligence it had served h i m often and should

,
serve him again .
The suspicion crossed h i m as he rested in a doorway with

his eyes upon the Temple gate that perhaps she was even ,
concealed in that set of Chambers ; It would fu rni sh another

reason for W r a yb u r n s purposeless walks and it might be
’
,
.
He thought of it an d thought of it until he resolved to steal ,
up the stairs if the gate keeper woul d let h i m through and

,
-
,
listen ; SO the haggard head suspended in the air fii tte d

across the road like the spectre Of one of the many head s
,
erst hoisted upon neighbouring Temple Bar and stopped ,
before the watchman .
“
T he watchman looked at it and asked : Who for 9 ,
Mr W r a yb u r n
. .
”
”
It s very late
’
.
He came back with Mr Lightwood I know near upon .

, ,
’
two hours ago But if he has gone to bed I ll put a paper
.
,
”
in his l etter box I a m expected
-
. .
Th e watchman said no more but O pened the gate though , ,
rather doubtfully Seeing h owever that th e visitor went

.
, ,
straight and fast in the right direction he seemed satis fied

‘
.
,
Th e haggard head floated up the dark st a ircase and softly ,
descended nearer to the floor outside the outer door of the

chambers The doors of the rooms within appeared to be
.
AT THE TE M PL E GAT E 643
standing Open There were rays of candlelight from one of
.
them and there was the sound of a footstep going about

,
.
There were two voices The words they uttered were not .
distinguishable but they were both the voices O f men In

,
.
a few moments the voices were sil ent and th e re was n o ,
sound of footstep and the inner light went out If Light ,

.
wood could have seen the face which kept him awake staring ,
a n d listening in the darkness outside the door as he spoke of
it he might have been less disposed to sleep through the

,
remainder of the ni ght .
“ “
Not there said Bradley but she mig ht have been
,
”
,
.
.
The head arose to its former height from the ground floated ,
down the staircase a gain and passed on to the gate A man , .
was standing there in parley with the watchman .
“
Oh ! said the watchman
”
Here he is . .
Perceiving himself to be the antecedent Bradley l ooked ,
from the watchm an to the man .
“
This man is leavi ng a letter for Mr Lightwood the .
,
“
watch m an explained showing it in his hand ; and I was ,
mentioning that a person had j ust gon e up to Mr Light .
wood s chambers It might be the same business perhaps 9

’
.
No said Bradley glancing at the man who was a

,
”
, ,
stran ger to him .
NO the man assented in a surly way

”
my letter — it s ’
wrote by my daughter but it s mine —it s about my busin ess

,
’ ’
, ,
’ ”
and my business ain t nobody else s b usiness ’
.
As Bradley passed out of the gate with an u ndecided foot ,
he heard it shut behind him and heard the footstep of the ,
man coming after hi m .
“’
Scuse me said the man wh o appeared to have been
,
’’
drinking and rather stumbled at him than touched him to

, ,
“
attract his attention ; but might you be acquain ted with
’
the T other Governor 9
“
With whom 9 asked Bradley .
With returned th e man pointing backward over

, ,
his right shoulder with his right thumb “

the T other ,
’
Governor 9
I don t know what you mean ’
.
Why look here hooking his proposition o n his left hand

, ,
-
fingers with the forefinger of his right “

There s two .
’
Governors ain t there 9 One and one two — Lawyer Light

,
’
,
’
wood my first finger he s one ain t h e ? Well might you
, ,
’
be ac quainted with my middle finger the T other 9 ,

’
I know quite as much O f h i m sai d Bradley with a , ,
frown and a distant look before him as I want to know , .
“
Ho or oa r ! cried the man ” “
Ho or oa r T other T other .
’ ’
Governor Ho o r oa r TO th e r e s t Governor ! I am Of your

.
’
way of
“
Don t make such a noise at this dead hour Of the night
’
.
What are you ta lking about 9

Look here TO th e r e s t Governor replied the man b e
,
’
, ,
“
coming hoarsely confidential The T other Governor he s .
’ ’
always j oked his j okes agin me owing as I beli eve to my , , ,
being a honest man as gets my livin g by the sweat of my

’ ’
brow Which he ain t and he don t
.
, .
”
“
What is that to me 9
TO th e r e s t Governo r returned the man in a tone of i n
’
,
“
j ured innocence if you don t care to hear no more don t
,
’
,
’
hear no more You begun it . You said and l i kew i se .

,
’
showed pret ty plain as you warn t by no means friendly to ,
him But I don t seek to force my company nor yet my

.
’
O pin ions on no man I am a honest man that s what I am ’

.
,
.
Put me i n the dock anywhere — I don t ca re where — and I

’
‘ ’
says My Lord I am a honest man Put me in the witness
box anywhere —I don t care where— and I says the same to
.
, ,
’
his lordship and I kisses the book I don t kiss my coat

,
.
’
cu ff I kisses the book .

”
It was not so much in deference to these strong testi

monials to character as in h is restless castin g abou t for a n y
,
way or help towards the discovery on which he was con

c e n tr a te d that B radley Headstone replied
,
You needn t ' ’
take O ffence I didn t mean to stop you You W ere too

.
’
.
loud in the O pen street that was all

“
TOth e r e s t Governor replied Mr Riderhood m o l li fie d

’
.
, ,
and mysterious I know wot it is to be loud and I know ,
wot it is to be soft Na t r a l l y I do
,
’
It would be a wonder
. .
if I did not bein g by the Ch r i s e n name of Roger which

,
’
took it arter my own father which took it from hi s own ,
father though which of our fa m l y fust took it n a t r al I will

,
’ ’
not i n any ways mislead you by u n d e r ta ki n to say An d ’

.
wishing that yo u r e l th may be better than you r looks whi ch ,
your inside must be bad indeed if it s on the footing of your ’
out.
”
Startled by the implication that his face revealed t oo much

of his mind Bradl ey made an e fi o r t to clear hi s brow It
,
.
might be worth knowi ng what this stran ge man s bus i nes s was ’
which is a unsatisfy i ng sort of food wo te v e r a man s app c ,
’
tite ! And when you mention the middle of the ni ght ,
To th e r e s t Governor growled Mr Riderhood winding up ,

’
.
,
“
his monotonous su mmary of his wrongs throw you r eye ,
on this here bundle under my arm and bear in mind that '
,
I m a wa l king back to my Lock and that the Temple laid

’
-
,
u pon my line of road

”
.
Bradley Headstone s face had changed during this latte r ’
r ecita l and he had O bserved the speaker with a more sus

,
ta i n e d attention .
DO you know said he after a pause during which they

, , ,
“
wa l ked on side by side that I believe I could te ll you your ,
name if I tried
,
Prove your opinion was the answer accompanied with , ,
a stop and a stare Try . .

”
“
You r name is Riderhood .
“
I m blest if it ain t returned that gentleman
’ ’
,
”
.
’
I don t know your n
’
.
”
“ ’
That s quite another thing said Bradley I never , .
”
supposed you did .
As Bradley wa lk e d on me ditating the Rogue walked on ‘
at his side muttering The purport of the mutterin g was : .
“
that Rog u e Riderhood by George ! seemed to be made ,
public property on now and that every man seemed to , ,
think himself free to handle his name as if it wa s a Street

“
Pump The purport of the meditating was : Here is an
.
”
instrument Can I u s e i t 9 .
They had walked along the Strand and into Pall Mall , ,
and had turned u p hil l towards Hyde Park Corner Bradley

-
Headstone waiting on the pace and lead of Riderho od and ,
leavi ng him to indicate the course So Slow were the school .
master s thoughts and so indistinct his purposes when they

’
were but tribu tary to the one absorbing pu rpose — or rather
when li ke dark t r ees under a stormy sky they only lin ed

, ,
the long vista at the end O f which he saw th ose two figures
of W r a y b u r n and Liz zie on which his eyes were fix e d —that
at least a good half mile was traversed before he Spoke again
-
.
Even then it was only to ask ,

“
Where is your Lock 9
Twenty mile and O d d — call it fiv e and twenty mile and - -
Odd ,
if you like — u p stream was the sullen reply ,
”
.
How is it call ed 9
P l a s h wa te r Weir Mill Lock .
THE RO GU E SU SP ICI O N S 6 47
’
Suppose I was to O ffer you five Shillings wh at then 9”
W h y then I d take it said Mr Riderhood

, ,
’
,
. .
The schoolmaster put his hand in his pocket and pro ,
d u c e d two half crowns and placed them in Mr Riderhood s

’
-
.
,
palm : who stopped at a convenient doorstep to ring them

both before acknowledgin g their receipt
, .
There s one thing about you T O th e r e s t Governor said

’
,
’
,
“
Riderhood farin g o n again ,
as looks well and goes fu r ,
.
You re a ready money man Now

’
when he had carefully
-
.
pocketed the co i ns on that S ide O f himself which was furthest

from his new friend “
what s this for 9
’
F or you .
”
Why 0 course I know tha t s ai d Riderhood as arguing

,
’
, ,
’
something that was self evid ent O course I know very -
.
well as no m a n in h i s right senses would suppose as any

think woul d make me give it up agin when I d O nce got i t ’
.
.
But what do you want for it 9

’
I don t know that I want anythin g for it Or if I d o .
want anything for it I don t know what it is Br ad ley ,

’
.
gave this answer in a Stolid vacant and self commun i ng , ,

-
m anner which Mr Riderhood found very extraord inary

, . .
“
You have no goodwill towards this W r a y b u r n said ,
’
B radley coming to the n ame in a reluctant and forced way

, ,
as if he were dragged to it .
NO .
”
Neither have I .
Riderhood nodded and asked : I s it for that 9

'
,
It s as much for that as anything else It s somethin g

’ ’
to be agreed w
.
ith o n a subj ect that occupies so much of ,

”
one s thoughts
’
.
It don t agree with y ou returned Mr Riderhood bluntly

’
, . .
NO It don t TO th e r e s t Governor and it s no u se a

,
’ ’ ’
, ,
lookin as if you wanted to make out that it did

’
I te ll you .
it rank les in you It rankles in you rusts in y o u and p i s on s

.
, ,
you .
“
Say th at it does SO return ed Bradley with quivering ,
’
,
“
is there no cause for it 9
Cause enough I ll bet a poun d ! c ried Mr Riderhood ,
’ ”
. .
Haven t you you rself declared that the fellow has heaped
’
provocation insults and affronts on y ou or something to

, , ,
that effect 9 He has done the same by me He is made of .
venomous insults and affronts from the crown of his head to ,
the sole O f his foot Are you so hopeful or so stu pid , as not .
to kno w that he and the other will treat your app l ication
with conte mpt and light their cigars with it 9
,
“ ’
I shouldn t wonder if they did by George said Rider , ,
hood turning angry

,
.
“
If they did ! They will Let me ask you a question . .
I know something more than your name about you I k new

something about Gaffer He xa m When did you last set eyes .
upon his daughter

“
When did I last set eyes u pon his daughter T oth e r e s t ,
’
Governor ? repeated Mr Riderhood growing intentionally .

,
slower of comprehension as the other quickened in his ‘
speech
Yes Not to speak to h er To s e e her—anywhere
.
“ ‘
. . .
The Rogue had got the clue he wanted though he held it ,
with a clu m sy hand Looking perplexedly at the passi onate

.
face as if he were trying to work out a s u m in h i s mind he

, ,
slowly answered : I ain t set eyes up on her — never once ’
”
not sin c e the day of Gaffer s death ’
.
You know h er well by Sight ,
I Should think I did No one better .
And you know him as well 9

”
Who s him ? asked Riderhood ta king o ff his hat and
’
r u bbing his forehead as he directed a du l l look at his

,
questioner .
“
Curse the name ! Is it so agreeable to you that you
want to hear it again
“
Oh ! Him said Riderhood who had craftily worked ,
the schoolmaster into this corner that he might again take ,

“
note of his face u nder its ev i l possession I d know h i m .
’
among a thousand
“
Did you Bradley tried to ask it quietly ; but do ,
what he might with his voice he could not subdue his face ,
did you ever see them together 9

(“The Rogue had got the clue in both hands now ) .
I see em together TO th e r e s t G overnor on the very day

’
,
’
when G a fie r was towed ashore .

”
Bradley could have hidden a reserved piece of information

from the Sharp eyes of a whole in quisitive class but he could ,
not veil from the eyes of the ignorant Riderhood the with
held question next in h i s breast You shall put it plain if .
“ ’
you want it answered thought the Rogue d oggedly ,

”
I ain t
a going a wo l u n te e r i n
”
g
- -
.
“
Well was he insolent to her too asked B radley aft er
again Here is the country road and here is the day Both
.
, .
”
have come upon me by surprise .
B ut To th e r e s t Governor urged M r Riderhood I don t

,
’ “
,
”
.
,
’
kno w where to find you .
“
It 13 of no consequence I know where to find you and .
,
I ll come to your Lock

’
But To th e r e s t Governor urged Mr Riderh ood again

’
.
, , ,
’
no lu ck never come yet of a d r y acquaintance Let s wet .
it in a mouthful of r u m and milk T O th e r e s t Governor ,

’
.
”
Bradley assenting went with him into an early public ,
house haunted by unsavoury smells Of musty hay and stale

,
’
straw where returning carts farmers men gaunt dogs fowls
, , , ,
of a beery breed and certain human night birds flutterin g

,
-
h ome to roost were solacing themselves after their several

,
manners ; and where not one of the night bir ds hovering -
about the Sloppy bar failed to discern at a glance in the !
pas sion wasted night bird with respectable feathers the worst
-
,
night bird of all .
An inspiration of affection fo r a half drunken carter going

’
his way led to Mr Riderho od s being elevated on a high heap
.
of baskets on a waggon and pursuing his j ourn ey recumbent ,
on his back with his head on his bu ndle Bradley then

«
: “
turn e d to retrace his steps and b y and bye stru ck o ff through ,

- -
little t raversed ways and b y and bye reached school and home
-
,
- -
.
Up came th e sun to fi nd him washed and brushed m e th od i ,
c a lly dressed in decent black coat and waistcoat decent formal ,
black tie a n d pepper an d salt pantaloons with his decent

,
.
s il v e r wa tc h in its pocket and its decent hair guard round

'
-
,
his ne ck : a scholas tic h untsman c lad for the field with his ,
fr e s h p a c k yelping and barking around him

'
.
Yet more really bewitched than the miserable creatu res

of the much lamented times who accused themselves of
-
impossibilities under a c ontagi on of horror and the strongly

suggestive influ ences of Torture he had been ridden hard by ,
Evil Spirits in the night that was newly gone He had been .
Spurred a n d whip ped and heavily sweated : If a record of the .
sport had u surped the places of peaceful texts from Scripture

on the wall the most advanced of the scholars might have
,
taken fright and run away from the master .

CHAP T ER XI I
M E ANING MI SC HI E F
UP came the sun , stream ing all over London , in i ts an d
glorious Mpa r ti a l i ty even condescending to make prismatic

.
Sparkles in the whiskers of Mr A lfred La m m l e as he sat at .
breakfast I n need of some brightening from without was

.
Mr Alfred La m m l e fo r he had the air of being dul l enough

.
,
within and looked grievou sly discontented

,
. .
Mrs Alfred La mm l e fa c ed her lord The happy pair of

. .
swindlers with the comfortable tie between them that each

,
h a d swindled the other sat moodily observant of the table,
cloth Things looked so gloomy i n the breakfast room albeit

.
-
,
on the sunny side of Sackville Street that any of the fa rn il y ,
tradespeople glancing through the blinds might h ave taken

the hint to sen d in his accoun t and press fo r it Bu t this .
,
indeed most of the family tradespeople had already done

, ,
without the h i nt .
4
“ “
It seems to me said M rs La m m l e that you have had
,
.
,
no money at all ever since we have been married .

”
“ “
What seems to you said Mr La m m l e to h ave b een ,
”
.
,
.
th e case may p ossibly have been th e case

,
It doesn t . .
’
matter .
”
Was it the spe ciality of Mr and Mrs La m m l e or does it . .

,
ever obtain with other lovi ng couples 9 In these matrimonial

dialogu es they never addressed each other but always some ,
invisible presence that appeared to take a station about

midway between them Perhaps the skeleto n in the cupboard
.
comes out to be talked to on such domestic o ccasions ,

“ ”
I have never seen any money in the house said Mrs , .
La m m l e to the skeleton except my own annu ity That I ,

.
swear .
”
“ ’
You needn t take the trouble of swearing said Mr ,
.
La m m l e to the skeleton ; “
once more it does n t matte r ,
’
.
You never turned your annuity to SO good an account .

”
“
Good an account In what way ? asked Mrs La m m l e . .
In the way of getting credit an d living well , ,
said Mr .
La m m l e .
Perhaps the Skeleton laugh ed scornfully on being intrusted

with this question and this answer ; certainly Mrs La m m l e .
did and M r La m m l e did . .
And what is to happen next ? asked Mrs La m m le of ”

.
the skeleton .
“
Smas h is to happen next said Mr La m m l e to the same ,
.
authority .
Af ter this Mrs La m m l e looked disdainfully at the skeleton

but without carrying the look on to Mr La m m l e —and
.
,
drooped her eyes After that Mr La m m l e did exactly the

.
, .
same thing and drooped h i s eyes A servant then ente ring

, .
with toast the skeleton retired into the closet and shut
, ,
itself up .
“
Sophronia said M r La m m l e when the servant had
,
.
,
withdrawn And then very much louder : Sophro n ia

.
,
“
Well 9
Attend to me if you please He eyed her sternly until
,
.
“
she did attend and then went on ,
I want to take counsel .
with you Come come ; no more trifling You know our

.
,
.
league and covenant We are to work together for our j oint

.
interest and you are as knowing a hand as I am We

, .
S houldn t be together if you were not

’
’
What s to be done 9 .
We are hemmed into a corner What shall we d o 9 .
“
Have you no scheme on foot that wil l bring in any
thing 9
Mr La m m l e pl u nged into his whiskers for reflection and
.
,
“
came out h Op e l e s s : No ; as adventurers we are obliged to
play rash games for chances of high winnings and there has ,
been a run of l u ck against Us .
“
She was resuming Have you nothing when he ,
stopped her .
We Soph ronia
,
We we we .
,
.
Have we nothing to sell 9

Deuce a bit I have gi ven a Jew a bill of sale on this
.
fu rniture and he co ul d take it t o morrow to day now

, ,
-
,
.
He would have taken it before now I believe but for , ,
Fl e d g e b y .
What has Fl e d ge b y to do with him 9

“
‘
Knew him Cautioned me against him before I got into
.
his claws Couldn t persuade h i m then i n be half of some

.
’
body else .
She cast about in her thoughts aga i n and he kept h is eyes ,
upon her as before .
“
Of course I have repeatedly thought of the Boffin s
, ,
”
Sophro ni a b e resumed after a fr u itless silence
, but I , ,
have seen my way to nothing They are well guarded That .
infernal Secretary stands between them and— people of merit

.
“
”
.
“
If he could be got rid of 9 said Sh e brightening a little , ,
after more casting about .
“
Take time Sophronia observed her watchful husband
, , ,
in a patronising manner .
If workin g him out of the way co ul d be presented in the

light of a serv ice to M r Boffin 9 .
”
Take time Sophronia , .
We have remarked lately Al fred that the ol d man is , ,
turning very s u spicious and distrustful .
“
Miserly too my dear ; which i s far the most un promis
,
ing for us Nevertheless take time Sophronia take time

.
, , , .
”
She took time and then said ,
Suppose we should address ou rselves to that tendency in

h im of which we have made ourselves quite sure Suppose .
my consc i ence
And we know what a conscience it is my soul Yes 9 ,
.
Suppose my conscience should not all ow me to keep to

myself any longer what that upstart girl told me of the
Secretary s hav i ng made a declaration to her Suppose my
’
.
conscience should oblige me to repeat it to Mr Bo ffin . .

”
“
I rather lik e that said La m m l e ,
”
.
Suppose I so repeated it to Mr Boffin as to ins i nuate .
that my sensitive delicacy and honour

“ ”
Very good words Sophro ni a ,
.
-
AS to insinuate that ou r sensitive delicacy and honour ,
“
she resumed with a bitter stress upon the phrase would
, ,
not allow us to be silent parties to so mercenary and design

’
ing a Speculat ion on the Secretary s part and so gross a ,
breach of faith towards his c o n fid i n g employer Suppose I .
had imparted my vi rtuou s uneasiness to my excellent hus

band and he had said in h is in tegrity S ophronia you
, , , ,
must immediately disclose t hi s to Mr Bofii n . .

’
“
Once more Sophronia observed La m m l e chan ging the
, , ,
”
leg on which he Stood I rather like that ,
.
You remarked that he is well guarded she pursued , .
I think so too But if t h i s Should lead to his discharging

.
”
his Secreta ry there would be a weak place made
,
.
SO P HR O NI A E X P O UND S 655
Go on expo u nding Sophroni a I begin to li ke this , .
very much .
”
“
Having in ou r unimpeachable rectit u de done him the
, ,
service of openi n g his eyes to the treach ery of the person he

trusted we shall have established a claim upon him and a
,
confidence with him Whether it can be made much of or .

,
li ttle of we mus t wait—~

,
because we can t help i t— to see ’
.
Probably we shall make the most of it that is to be made .

”
Probably said La m m l e ,
”
.
Do you th i nk it impossible she aske d in the same cold , ,
plotting way that you might replace the Secretary 9

,
Not im possible Sophroni a It might be brought about

, . .
At any rate it might be s kil fully led up to .

”
She nodded her understandin g of the hint as she looked ,
at the fire Mr La m m l e Sh e s aid musin gly : n ot without

. .
,
”
,
a Slight ironi cal touch “

Mr La mm l e would be so delighted .
to do anyt hing in his power Mr La m m l e himself a m a n . .

,
of business as well as a capitalist Mr La m m l e accustomed . .

,
to be intrusted with the most delicate affairs Mr La m m l e . .

,
who has managed my own little fortune so admirably but ,
who to be sure began to m ake his reputation with the

, ,
advantage of being a man of property abov e temptation , ,
and beyond suspicion .

”
Mr La m m l e smil ed and even patte d her on the head

.
,
.
In hi s sinister relish of th e schem e as he stoo d above her , ,
mak ing it the subject of his cogi tat ions he seemed to have ,
twi ce as much nose on his face as he had ever had in

his life .
He stood pon derin g an d she sat loo king at the du sty fire ,
without moving fo r some time But the moment he began

, .
to speak agai n she looked u p with a win ce and attended to

him as if that double dealing of hers had been in her mind
,
-
,
and the fear were rev ived in her of his hand or his foot .
It appears to me S ophro ni a that you have o m itted one

, ,
branch of the subj ect Perhaps not for women u nderstand .

,
women We might oust the girl herse l f ?

.
Mrs La m m l e S h oo k her head

. She has an immen sely .
strong hol d upon them both Alfred Not t o be compared .
with that of a paid secretary .
”
But the dear child said La m m l e with a crooked smile , , ,
ought to have been Open with her benefactor and be n e

fa c tr e s s The darlin g love ought to have reposed unboun d ed
.
confidence in her benefactor and benefactress .

”
65 6 OUR MU TUAL F RI E ND
Sophronia Shook her head again .
Well ! Women understand women said her husban d , ,

“ ’
rather disappointed I don t press it It might be the . .
making of our fort une to m a ke a clean sweep of them both .
Wit h me to manage th e property and my wife to manage ,
the people — Whew

“
Again shaking her head Sh e returned They will never ,
quarrel with the girl They will never punish the girl We . .
must accept the girl rely upon it ,

.
”
“
Well ! cried La m m l e shruggi ng h is shoulders
”
so be , ,
it o n ly always remember that we don t want her ’

.
”
Now the sole remaini ng question is said Mrs La m m le , .

,
when shall I begin 9

You cannot begin too soon Sophro n ia As I have told , .
you the condition of our affairs is desperate and may be

, ,
blown upon at any moment .
I must sec u re Mr Bo ffin alone Alfred If his wi fe was .

, .
present Sh e would t hrow o il upon the wate rs I know I

,
.
should fail to move him to a n angry outb u rst if his wife was
there And as to the girl herself—as I am going to betray
,
her confidence she is equally out of the question ,

.
“ ”
It wouldn t do to write for an appointment ? said ’
La m m l e .
“
No certainly n ot They would wonder among them
, .
selves why I wro te an d I want to have h i m who l ly u n ,
prepared .
“
Call a n d ask to see him alone 9 suggested La m m le
,
.
I would rather not do that either Leave it to me . .
Spare me the little c a rriage for to day and for to morro w -

,
-
(if I don t succ e ed to day) and I ll lie i n wait for him

’ ’ ”
-
.
,
I t was barely settle d when a manly form was seen to

‘
'
“ ’
pass the windows an d heard to knock and ring Here s .
Fl e d ge b y said La m m l e “
He admires you and has a high
”
.
, ,
opini on of you I ll be out Coax him to use his infl u ence

.
’
.
with the Je w His name is Riah of the hous e of P u b s e y

.
,
and Co Addin g these words under his breath l e s t he

.
”
,
Shoul d be audible i n the erect ears of Mr Fl e d ge b y through .

,
two key holes and the hall La m m l e making sign al s of dis

-
, ,
cretion to h is ser vant went softly up sta i rs ,

-
.
“
Mr Fl e d ge b y said Mrs La m m l e giving him a very
.
,
”
.
,
“
gracious reception so glad to see you ! My poor dear ,
Alfred who is greatly worried j ust now about his a ffairs

,
went out rather early Dear Mr Fle d ge b y do sit down . .

, .
”
a tough subj ect and when he says he ll do a thing he l l ,
’
,
’
”
do it .
“ “
E xactly so c r ied Mrs La m m l e and when he says to
,
.
,
you he ll wait he ll wait

’
,
’
.
”
( She I s a devi lish clever woman thought Fl e d ge b y

“ “
I , .
’
didn t see that opening but she spies it out and cuts into ,
”
it as soon as it s mad e ) ’
In point of fact dear Mr Fl e d ge b y Mrs La m m l e went , .

, .
o n in a very interesting manner not to affect concealm e nt ,

’
of Alfred s hopes to you who are so much his friend there , ,
”
is a distant break in his h orizon .
This figure of Speech seemed rather mysterious to F ascina

tion Fl e d g e b y who said “
There s a what I n his — eh 9
, ,
’
.
“
Alfred dear Mr Fl e d g e b y discussed with me th i s
, .
,
ve morning before he went out some prospects he has , ,
which might entirely change the aspect of his present

troubles .
”
Really 9 said Fl e d ge b y .
Oh yes ,
Here Mrs La mm l e brought her handkerchief .
into play And you know dear Mr Fl e d ge b y — you who

.
,
.
study the human heart and study the world —what an ,
affliction it would be to lo s e position and to lose credit when ,
ability to tide over a very short time might save all appear
an oes .
”
O h ! said Fl e d g e b y
“ ”
Then you th i nk Mrs La m m l e .
,
.
,
that if La m m l e got time he wouldn t bu rst up 9— TO use an ,

’
expression Mr Fl e d ge b y apolo getically explained which

,
”
.
“
,
”
is adopted in the Money Market .
Indeed yes Truly truly yes ! .

, ,
That makes all the di fference said Fl e d g e b y ,

.
make a point of seeing Riah at once .
“
Blessings on you dearest Mr Fl e d g e b y ,
.
Not at all said Fl e d ge b y She gave him her hand

,
”
. .
The hand said Mr Fl e d ge b y of a lovely and superior

,
”
.
,
minded female is ever the repa yment of a

“ ”
Noble action ! said Mrs La m m l e extremely anxious to .
,
get rid of him .
I t wasn t what I was going to say returned Fl e d ge b y

'
’
, ,
who never would under any circumstances accept a suggested , ,

“
expression but you re very complimentary May I imprint
,
’
.
a one — upon it ?
”
a -
Good morning !
“
I may depe nd upon your promptitude dearest Mr ,
.
Fl e d g e b y 9
MR
. P LE D G ERY D E P ART S ON HI S ND
E RR A OF ME RC Y
C HAP T ER X III
GI VE A DO G A BAD NAME AND HANG HI M

,
FASC I N AT I O N PLE D G E RY left alon e in the counting house

,
-
,
strolled about with his hat on one side whistling an d , ,
investigating the drawers and prying here and there for any
,
small evidences of his b eing cheated but could find none , .
Not hi s merit that he don t cheat me was Mr Fl e d ge b y s

’
,
”
.
’
“
commentary delivered with a wink but my precaution ,
.
”
He then with a lazy grandeur asserted his rights as L ord of

P u b s e y and Co by poking h i s cane at the Stools and boxes
.
,
and Spitting in the fireplace and so loitered royally to the

,
window and looked out into the narrow street with hi s

“
small eyes j ust peering over the top of P u b s e y and Co s .

’
b lind As a blind in more senses than one it reminded

.
,
h im that he was alone i n the counting house with the front -

,
door open He was moving away to shut it lest he should

.
,
be inj udiciously identified with the establishment when he ,
was stopped by some one com i ng to the door .
’
This some one was the dolls dressmaker with a little ,
basket on her arm and her crutch stick in her hand Her
,
-
.
keen eyes had espied Mr Fl e d g e b y before Mr Fl e d ge b y had

. .
espied her and he was paralyse d in his purpose of shutting

,
her out not so much by her approaching the door as by

, ,
her favouring h i m with a Shower of nods the i nstant he saw ,
her This advantage Sh e improved by hobblin g up the steps

.
wi th such dispatch that before Mr Fl e d ge b y could take .
measures for her find i ng nobody at home Sh e was face to ,
face with him in the counting house -

.
“
Hope I see you well S ir said Miss Wren , ,
Mr Riah . .
in ? ‘
Fl e d g e b y had dropped into a chair in the attitude of o n e ,

“
waiting wearily I suppose he will be back soon he
.
,
“
replied ; he has cut out and left me expectin g him back ,
in an odd way Haven t I seen you before 9

.
’
MI s s W R E N AND MR . FLE DG E BY 663
Once before — i f you had you r eyesight replied Miss ,
Wren the conditional clause in an under tone -

.
When you were carrying on som e games up at the top of

the house I remember How s your frien d 9
. .
’
“
I have more friends than one sir I h O pe replied Miss , , ,
“
Wren . Which friend ?
“
Never mind said Mr Fl e d ge b y shutting up one eye
,
”
.
, ,
an y of your friends all your fr iends Are they pretty , .
tolerable 9
Somewhat confounded Miss Wren parried the pleasantry , ,
and sat down in a corner behind th e door with her basket ,
i n her l a p By and bye Sh e said breaking a long and patient

.
- -
, ,
sil enc e
“
I beg your pardon s i r but I am used to find Mr Riah , ,
.
at this time and so I generall y come at this time I only

,
.
’
W ant to buy my poor little two Shil lings worth of waste .
Perhaps you ll kindly let m e have it and I ll trot off to my

’
,
’
”
work .
“
I let you have it ? said Fl e d ge b y turning his head ”
towards her ; for h e h ad been sitting blink ing at the light ,
and feeling his cheek “

W h y you don t really suppose that
.
,
’
I have anything to do with the plac e or th e business ; do ,
you ? ”
“ ”
Suppose ? exclaimed Miss Wren He said that day .
, ,
you were the master ! ”
“ ’
The old cock in black said ? Riah said ? Why he d ,
say anyt h ing ”
Well ; but you said so too returned Miss Wren

.
Or ,
.
at least you took on l i ke the maste r and didn t co ntradict ,

’
him .
”
“
One of his dodges said Mr Fl e d ge by with a cool and ,
.
,
“
contemptuous shrug He s made of dodges He said to
.
’
.
‘
e Come up to the top of the house sir and I ll Show you , ,
’
a handsome girl But I Shall call you the master So I went

. .
’
up to the top of the house and h e showed me the handsom e

girl (very well worth looking at she was) and I was called the , ,
maste r I don t know wh y I dare say he don t He loves

’ ’
. . .
a dodge for its own sake ; being added Mr Fle d ge b y afte r ,

”
.
,
“
castin g about for an expressive phrase the d o d g e r e s t of all ,
the dodgers .
Oh m y head ! cri ed the dolls dressmaker holding it

” ’
, ,
with both her hands as if it were cracking You can t

,
.
’
mean what you say .

”
I can my little woman retorted Fl e d ge b y and I do
, , ,
“
,
I assure you .
This repudiation was not only an a c t of deliberate policy

on Fl e d ge b y s part i n case of his being sur prised by any
’
, _
other caller but was also a retort upon Miss Wren for her
,
over Sharpness and a pleasant instance of hi s humour as

-
,
“
regarded the old Jew He has got a bad name as an old .
Jew and he is paid for the u se of it and I ll have my money s

, ,
’ ’
worth out of him This was Fl e d ge b y s habitual reflec tion.

’
in the way of bu siness and it was sh arpened just now by the ,
old man s presuming to have a secret from him : though of

’
the secret itself as annoying somebody else whom he disliked

, ,
he by n o means d isapproved .
Miss Wren with a fallen countenance sat beh i nd th e door

looking thoughtfully at the grou nd and the long and patient ,
silence had again s e t in for some time when the expression ,
of Mr Fl e d ge b y s face betokened that through the upper

.
’
portion of the d oor which was of glas s he saw some one , ,
faltering on the brink of the counting house Presently there .
was a rustle and a tap and then some more rustling and ,
another tap Fl e d ge b y takin g n o notice the door was at

.
,
length softly O pened and the dried face of a mil d little ,
elderly gentleman looked in .
Mr Riah 9 said this visitor very politely

. .
, .
I am waiting for him sir I e tu r n e d Mr Fl e d g e b y He , ,

”
. .
went out and left me h e I e I expect him back every minute . .
Perhaps you had better take a chair .
The gentleman took a chair and put his hand t o h i s fore ,
head as if he were in a melancholy frame of mi nd Mr

,
. .
Fl e d g e b y eyed him aside and seemed to relish his attitude ,

.
“
A fine day Si r remarked Fl e d g eb y , ,
’’
.
The little dried gentleman was so occupied with his Own

depressed reflections that he did not notice the remark until
the sound of Mr Fl e d g e b y s voice had died out of the count
.
’
“
ing house Then h e started and Said : I beg your pardon
-
.
,
sir I fear you Spoke to me 9

.
“
I sai d remarked Fl e d ge b y a l i ttl e l ouder than before
” '
, , ,
”
it was a fine day .
I beg your pardon I beg your pardon Yes . . .
Again th e little dried gentleman put his hand to h i s fore

head and again Mr Fl e d ge b y seemed to enj oy h i s d oi n g
‘
.
,
it When the gentleman changed his attitu d e with a sigh

.
,
Fl e d g e b y spake with a grin .

minute B ut if you have friends in adversity stan d by them
.
, .
That s what I say and act up to

’
.
”
The equitable Twemlow felt that this sentiment ir respective ,
of the utterer demanded his cordial assent

,
You are very .
” “
right sir he rej oined with Spirit
, ,
You indicate the ge n erou s .
and manly co u rse .

”
Glad to have your approbation returned Fl e d ge b y “

It s , .
’
”
a coincidence Mr Twemlow ; here he descended from h i s
,
.
perch and sa u ntered towards h i m ; that the friends I am

,
standin g by to day are the friends at whose house I met you

-
’
The La m m l e s She s a very taking and agreea ble woman 9
.
“
Conscience s m ote the gentle Twemlow pale Yes he .
,
”
“ ”
said. She is .
“
And when she appealed to me this mornin g to come ,
and try what I could do to pacify their creditor thi s Mr , .
Riah —that I certainly have gained some little influence wi th

in transacting business for another friend but nothing l ike ,
so much as she supposes — and when a woman li ke that spoke

to me as her dearest Mr Fl e d ge b y and Shed tears —wh y .
,
what could I do you know ? ,
T wemlo w gasped Nothing but come

“
.
Nothing but come And so I came But why Said . .

,
Fl e d ge b y putting his hands in his pockets and counterfeiting

,
deep meditation why Riah Shoul d have started up when

, ,
I told him that the La m m l e s e n tI e a te d him to hold o ver a

Bill of Sale he has on all their e ffects ; and why he should
have cut out saying he would be back directly ; and why he
,
should have left me here alone so long ; I cannot Under

stand .
The chivalrous T wemlow Knight of the Simple Heart was , ,
not in a condition to o ffer any suggestion He was too .
penite nt too remorseful

, F or the first ti me i n his life he .
had done an under handed action and he had d one wrong -

,
.
He had secretly interpos ed against this c on fid i n g youn g

’
man for n o better real r eason than because the young man s
,
ways were not his ways .
But the c on fid i n g young man proceeded to heap coals of

fire on his sens i tive head .
I beg you r pardon Mr Twemlow ; you see I am ,

.
acqua i nted with the natu re of the affairs that are transacted
here I S there anyth ing I can do for you here 9 You have
. .
always been brought up as a gentleman and never as a man ,
of business anothe r touch of possible i mpertinence i n this

,
THE OO N F IDING Y O UNG MAN 6 67
place ; and perhaps you are but a poor man of busi ness .
What else is to be expected 9

I am even a poorer man of business than I am a m a n ,
“
s ir,
returned Twemlow and I coul d hardly express my ,
deficiency in a stronger way I really do n ot so much as .
clearly understand my position in the matter on which I am

brought here But there are reasons which make me very
.
d elicate of accepting your assistance I am greatly greatly .

, ,
’ ”
disinclined to profit by it I don t d eserve it . .
Good ch ildis h creature ! Condemned to a passag e through

the world by su ch narrow little dimly lighted ways and -
,
picking up so few Specks or spots on the road

“
Perhaps said Fl e d g e b y “
you may be a l ittle prou d
”
of entering on the topic —having been brought up as a

, ,
gentleman .
“ “
It s not that sir returned Twemlow it s not that I
’
, , ,
’
.
h ope I distin guish between true pride and fal se prid e

”
.
I have no pride at all myself said Fl e d ge b y and ”
perhaps I don t cut things so fine as to knowone from

, , ,
’
’
t other But I know this is a place where even a m a n of
.
business needs his wits about him ; and if m ine can be of

’ ”
any u se to you here you re welc ome to them , .
“ ”
You are very good said Twemlow falterin g But I , , .
am most unwilling
“
I don t you know proceeded Fl e d g e b y with an ill
’
, , ,
“
favoured glance entertain the vanity of supposing that my
,
wits could be of any use to you in society but they might ,
be here You cultivate society and society cultivates you

. ,
but Mr Ri a h s not society In society Mr Riah is kept

.
’
.
,
.
dark ; eh Mr Twemlow ?
,
.
Tweml ow mu ch disturbed and with his hand fluttering

, ,
“
about his forehead replied : Quite true ,
.
The c o n fid i n g young man bes ought him to state his case .
The innocent Twemlow expecting Fl e d ge b y to be astounded

by what he should unfold and not for an instant conceiving ,
the possibility of its happening eve r y day b IIt treating of it ,
as a terrible phenomenon occurring in the cou rse of ages ,
related how that he had had a deceased friend a married ,
civil o fficer with a family who had wanted money for change ,
of place on change of post and how he Twemlow had , , ,

“ ”
given him his name with the usual but in the eyes of , ,
Twemlow almost incredible result that he had been left to

repay what he had never had How in the course of years .
, ,
668 O UR MU TUAL F RI E ND
“
he had reduced the principal by trifling sums havin g , ,
“
said Twemlow always to observe great economy being i n
, ,
the enj oyment of a fixed income limited in extent and that ,
depen ding on the m u n i fic e n c e of a certain nobleman and ,
had always pinched the full interest out of himself with

punctual pinches How he had come in course of ti m e to .
, ,
l ook u pon this one only debt of his life as a regular quarterly
“ ”
drawback and no worse when his name had some way
, ,
fallen into the possessio n of Mr Riah who had sent h i m .

,
notice to redeem it by paying up in full in one plump sum , ,
or take tremendous consequences This with hazy remem .

,
b r a n c e s of how he had been carried to some office to confess

”
j udgment (as he recollected the phrase) an d how he had
‘
,
.
bee n carried to another o fli c e where his life was assured for

somebody not wholly unconnected with the sherry trade
whom he remembered by the remarkable circumstance that
he had a Str a d u a r i u s vi olin to dispose of and also a ,
Madonna formed the sum and s u bstance of Mr Twe m l o w s

, .
’
narrativ e Through which stalked the shadow of the awful

.
Sn i gs wo r th eyed afar o ff by money lenders as Security in the

,
-
Mist and menacing Twe mlow with h i s baronia l truncheon

,
‘
To all Mr Fle d g e b y listened with the modest gravity

.
becoming a c o n fid i n g young man who knew it all beforehand ,

“
and when it was finished seriously Shook his head I ,
.
don t like Mr Twemlow said Fl e d g e b y

, . I don t like ,
”
,
’
Ri a h s calling in the principal If he s determined to call it

’ ’
.
in it must come
,
.
“
B ut supposing sir said Twemlow downcast that it
, , , ,
’
can t come ?
“
Then retorted Fl e d ge b y you must go yo u k now
,
” “
, ,
.
Where ? asked Tweml ow faintly ”
,
.
To prison returned Fl e d g e b y Whereat Mr Twemlow

,
”
. .
leaned his innocent head upon his hand and moaned a little ,
moan of distress and disgrace .
“
However said Fle d g e b y appearing to pl uck up his
,
”
,
“
spirits we ll h Op e it s n o t so bad as that comes to If
,
’ ’
.
you ll al lo w me I ll mention to Mr Riah when h e comes

’
,
’
.
,
’
in who yo u are and I ll tell h i m you re my frien d and I ll
, ,
’ ’
,
say my say for you instead of your saying it for yourself I ,
may be able to do it in a more business like way You -

.
won t consider it a liberty ?

’
“
I thank you again and again sir said Twemlow I , ,
.
am strong strongly d isincl i ned to avail myself of your

,
’
pretends At least don t do it to me Why should you
.
, .
,
Mr Riah ? Y o u know I know all about you

. .
The old man clasped the Skirt of his long coat with his
disengaged hand and directed a wistfu l look at Fl e d ge b y , .
And d on t said Fl e d g e b y “ ’
,
”
don t I entreat you as a ,
’
favou r Mr Riah be so devilish meek for I know what ll

, .
, ,
’
follow if you are L ook here Mr Riah This gentleman is .

,
. .
Mr T wemlow
. .
”
The Jew t urned to him and bowed That poor lamb .
bowed in return ; p olite and terrified , .
“
I have made such a failure proceeded Fl e d ge b y “
in ,
”
,
trying to do anything with you for my friend La m m le that ,
,
’
I ve hardly a hope of doing anything with you for my friend
(and connexion indeed ) Mr Twemlow B u t I do think that . .
if you would d o a favour for anybody you would for me , ,
and I won t fail for want of trying and I ve passed my

’
,
’
p r o mise to Mr Twemlow besides Now Mr Riah here is . .

,
.
,
Mr Twemlow Always good for his interest always coming

. .
,
up to time always paying his little way Now why should

,
.
’
you press Mr Twemlow ? You can t have any spite against
.
Mr Twemlow ! Why not be easy with Mr Twem l ow ?

. .
The old man looked into Fl e d ge b y s little eyes for any ’
S ign of leave to be eas y with Mr Twemlow ; b u t there was .
no S ign in them .
“
Mr Twemlow is no connexion of yours Mr R i ah said
.
,
.
,
Fl e d ge b y ; “
you can t want to be even with h i m for having ’
through life gone in for a gentleman and hung on to his

F amil y If Mr Tweml ow has a contempt for business what
. .
,
can it matte r to you 9

“ “
But pardon me interposed the gentle victim I have , ,
not I Should consider it presumption

. .
”
There Mr Riah said Fl e d ge b y

,
“
isn t that handsomely
.
’
said 9 Come Make terms with me for Mr Twemlow . .

”
The O l d man looked again for any Sign of permission to

spare the poor little gentleman NO Mr Fl e d ge b y meant . . .
him to b e r a c k e d .
I am very sorry Mr Twemlow said Riah “

I have my ,
.
, ,
instructions I am invested with no authority for diverging

.
from them The money must b e paid ”

'
. .
“
In full an d Slap down do you mean Mr Riah ? asked , , .
”
Fl e d g e b y to make things quite explicit

,
.
In full sir and at o nce was Ri a h s answer

, , ,
” ’
.
Mr Fl e d ge b y shook his head deploringly at T wemlow

.
,
FLE DG E BY IN A M E RRY V E IN 67 1
and mutely expressed in reference to the venerable figure ,
standing before him with eyes upon the ground What a

m onster of an Israelite this is
Mr Riah said Fl e d g e b y
.
,
.
The old man lifted up his eyes once more to the little eyes
in Mr Fl e d g e b y s head with some revivi n g hope that th e
.
’
Sign might be coming yet .
“
Mr Riah it s of no use my holding back the fact
.
,
’
.
There s a certain great party in the background in Mr Twe m

’
.
”
low s case and y o u know it
’
, .
“
I know it the old man admitted ”
.
No w I ll put it as a plain point of b u s m e s s Mr Riah

,
’
. .
,
Are you ful ly determined (as a plain point of business) either

to have that said great p arty s security or that said great ’
party s money ?
’ ”
F ul l y determined answered Riah as h e read his master s

’
, ,
face and l earnt the book

, .
“
Not at all caring for and indeed as it seems to m e , , ,
rather enj oying said Fl e d ge b y with peculiar unction

,
”
, ,
“
the precious kick u p and row that will come o ff between
-
Mr Twemlow and the said great party ?

This required no answer and rece ived none Po or Mr
.
. .
,
Twemlow who had betrayed the keenest mental terrors since

,
his noble kinsm an l oomed in the perspective rose with a ,

“
sigh to take his departure I thank you very much sir .
, ,
”
he said o ffering Fl e dg e b y his feverish hand

,
“
You have .
d one me an u nm erited service Thank you thank you ! .

,
”
“
Don t mention it an swered Fl e d ge b y
’ “
It s a failure
,
”
.
’
so far but I ll stay behind and take another tou ch at

,
’
Mr Riah
. .
”
“
Do not deceive yourself Mr Twemlow said the Jew ,
.
, ,
then addressing him directly for the first ti m e There is .
n o h Op e for you You must expect no lenie n cy here You

. .
must pay in full and you cannot pay too promptly or you
, ,
will be put to heavy charges Trust n othing to m e sir .

, .
Money money money

, When h e h a d said th e s e wo r d s in
, .
”
‘
an emphatic manner he ackn owledged Mr Twe m l o w s still , .

’
polite motion of his head and that amiable little worthy ,
to ok his departure in the lowest spirits .
F ascination Fl e d ge b y was in su ch a merry vein when the

cou nting house was cleared of him that he had nothing for
-
,
it but to go to the window an d lean his arms on the fra m e ,
of the blind and have his silent laugh out with his back to
, ,
his subordinate When he turned rou nd again with a com
.
posed countenance his subordinate still stood in the same

,
place and the dolls dressmaker sat behind the door with a
,
’
look of horror .
Halloa cried Mr Fl e d ge b y you re forgettin g this.

,
’
young lady Mr Riah and she has been waiting long enough
, .
,
too Sell her her waste please an d give her good measure
.
, ,
if you can make up your m ind to do the liberal thing for

”
once .
He looked on for a time as the Jew filled her little basket ,
with such scrap s as she was u sed to buy ; but his merry ,
vein comi ng on agai n he was O bliged to turn round to the

,
windo w once more and lean his arms on the blin d

,
.
”
There my Cinderella dear said the old man in a whisper
, , ,
“ ’
and with a w orn out look the basket s full now Bless
-
,
.
you ! And get you gone ! ”
Don t call me your Cinderella dear returned Miss Wren

’
, .
Oh you cru el godmother !

,
”
She shook that emphatic little forefinger of hers in his

face at parting as earnestly and reproachfu lly as she had
,
ever shaken it at her grim old child at home .
”
You are not the godmother at all ! said she You are .
the Wolf in the F ores t the wicked Wolf ! And if ever my ,
dear Liz zie is sold and betrayed I shall k n ow who sold and ,
”
betrayed her !
the screw in a creakin g and stiff manner was very noticeable ,
at about this period Wh ile assisting at the li terary evenings

.
,
he even went so far on two or three occasions as to correct , ,
Mr W e g g when he grossly mispronounced a word o r made

.
,
nonsense of a passage ; insomuch that Mr W e gg took to .
s urveying his course in the day and to mak i ng arrangements ,
for getti ng round rocks at night i nstead of run ni ng straight

upon them Of the slightest anatomical reference he became
.
particularly shy and i f he saw a bone ahead would go any

, , ,
distance o u t of his way rather than mention it by name

The adverse destinies ordained that one even i ng Mr W e g g s
.
’
.
labouri ng bark became beset by polysyl lables and embar ,
r a s s e d among a perfect archipela go of hard words It being .
necessary to take soundings every min ute and to feel the ,
way with the greatest caution Mr W e gg s attention was , .

’
fu lly employed Advantage was taken of this dilemma by

Mr Venus to pass a scrap of paper into Mr Boffin s hand
.
’
. .
, ,
and lay his finger on hi s own li p .
When Mr Bo fli n got home at ni ght he found that the

.
paper conta i ned Mr Venus s card and these words : Should .

’
b e glad to be honou red with a call respecting busi ness of

your own about dusk on an early eve ni ng
,
.
”
The very next evening saw Mr Botfm peep i ng i n at .
the prese rved frogs in Mr Venus s sh op win dow a n d saw .

’
-
,
Mr Venus espying Mr Bo fii n with the readiness of one on

. .
the alert and beckoning that gentleman into his i nterior

, .
Responding Mr Boffin was invited to seat himself on the

,
.
box of human miscellanies before the fire and did so looking , ,
round the place with adm iring eyes The fire bein g low .
and fitfu l and the dusk gloomy the wh ole stock seemed to
, ,
be winking and blin k in g with both eyes as Mr Venus did , . .
The F rench gentleman though he had no eyes was n ot at , ,
all behin d hand but appe ared as the flame rose and fell
-
, , ,
to open and Shut his no eyes with the regularity of the ,
glass eyed dogs and du cks and birds The big headed babies
-
.
-
were equally obligin g in lend i ng their g rotesque aid to the

gene ral c fie c t .
“
You see Mr Venus I ve lost no time said Mr Boffin
, .
,
’
,
. .
Here I am .
Here you are S i r assented Mr Venus , ,

. .
I don t like secrecy pur sued Mr Bo ffin

’
at least not ”
in a general way I don t —but I dare say you l l Show me good

,
.
,
’ ’
reason for bein g secret so far .

P RI V AT E AND C O N F ID E NTIAL 675
I think I shall sir returned Venus , ,

.
Good said Mr Bo fii n Y ou do n t expect W e gg I take

,
”
. .
’
it for granted 9
No sir I expect no one but the present company
,
. .
Mr Boffin glanced about him as accepting under that

.
,
inclusive denomination the F rench gentleman and th e circle

“
in which he didn t move and repeated The present ’
, ,
company .
“ “
Si r said Mr Venu s ,
before entering upon business I .
, ,
s hall have to ask you for your word and honour that we are
”
i n confidence .
‘
Let s wait a bit and understan d what the expression
’
“
means answered Mr Boffin ,
In confiden ce for how long 9 . .
In confidence for ever and a day 9

“
I take the hint Si r said Venus you think you might , ,
”
consider the business when you came to know it to be of a , ,
nature incompatible with confidence 011 your part 9

“
I might said Mr Bo fii n with a cautious lo ok ,
”
.
,
.
True sir Well sir observed Venus after clutching at

, .
, ,
”
,
“
h i s dusty hair to brighten his ideas let us put it another , ,
way I O pen the business with you rel y ing upon your
.
,
honour not to do anything in it and not to mention me in ,
it without my knowledge
,
.
“
That sounds fair said Mr Bo ffi n I agree to that ,
”
. . .
I have your word an d honour sir 9 ,

“
My good fellow retorted Mr Boffin you have my , .
,
word and how you can h ave that without my honour too , ,
I don t know I ve sorted a lot of dust in my time but I

’
.
’
,
”
never knew the two thin gs go into separate heaps .
This remark seemed rather to abash Mr Venus He hesi . .
“ “
ta te d and said Very true sir ; and again Very true ”
, , , , ,
sir before resuming the thread of h i s d iscourse

,
”
.
“
Mr Boffin if I confess to y ou that I fell into a proposal
.
,
of w hi ch you were the subject and of which you oughtn t ,

’
to have b een the subj ect you will allow me to mention and , ,
wil l please take into favourable consideration that I was in ,
a cru shed state of mind at the time .

”
The Golden Dustman with his hands folded on the top of ,
his stout stick with his chin resting upon them and with , ,
someth ing leering and whi msical in his eyes gave a nod and ,
“ ”
s aid Quite so Venus
, , .
“
That proposal sir was a conspiring breach of your con , ,
fid e n c e to such an extent that I ought at once to have

, ,
made it k nown to you But I didn t Mr Boffin and I fell .
’
,
.
,
into it .
Without mov ing eye o r finger Mr Boffin gave another , .
”
nod an d placidly repeate d, Quite so Venu s
, ,
.
Not that I was ever hearty in it sir the penitent , ,

”
“
anatomist went on or that I ever viewed myself with any,
thing but reproach for having turned out of the paths of

”
science i nto the paths of he was going to say villany ,
but unwilling to press too hard upon himself substituted

,
.
with great emphasis W e gg e r y .

”
Placid and whimsical of lo ok as ever Mr Bo fli n answered ,

.
Quite so Venus , .
”
“
And now sir said Venus having prepared your min d
, , ,
”
in the rough I will articulate the details
,
With which .
brief professional exordium h e entered on the hi story of the ,
friendl y move and truly recounted it One might have

, .
thought that it would have extracted some Show of surprise

or anger or other emotion from Mr Bo ffin but it extracted
, ,
.
,
“
n othing beyond his former comment : Quite so Venus ”
.
,
“ ”
I have astonished you sir I believe ? said Mr Venus , ,
.
,
pausing dubiously .
“
Mr BoffI n si m ply answered as aforesaid :
. Quite so ,
Venus .
By this time the astonishment was all on the other side .
It did not however so continu e F or when Venus passed to

, ,
.
W e gg s discovery and f rom that to their having both seen

’
M r Bo ffin d i g up the D u tch bottle that gentleman changed

.
,
col our changed his attitu de became extremely restless and

’
, , ,
ended (when Venus ended) by being in a state of manifest

an xiety , trepidation and confusion ,
.
“ “
Now sir said Venu s finishing off
, ,
you best know ,
what was in that Dut c h bottle and why you dug it up and ,
’
took it away I don t pretend to know anything more
.
.
about it than I saw Al l I know is this : I am proud of my.
calling aft er a ll (tho ugh it has be en attended by one dread

ful drawback which has told upon my heart and almost ,
equally upon my skeleton) and I mean to live by my c all i ng , .
Putting the same meaning into other words I do not mean ,
to turn a single dishonest penny by this a ffair As the best .
amends I can make you for having ever gone into it I make ,
known to you as a warning what W e g g has foun d out

, , .
My opinion is that W e gg is not to be silenced at a modest

,
price and I build that opinion on his beginning to dispose of

,
And how am I to live asked Mr Bo ffin piteously if , .
, ,
“
I m to be going buying fellows up out of the little that

’
’
I ve got ? And how am I to set about it 9 When am I to
get my money ready ? When am I to make a bid ? You
’
haven t tol d me when he threatens to drop down upon me .
”
Venus explained under what conditions and with what ,
V ie ws the dropping down upon Mr Bofli n was held over .

,
until the Mounds should be cleared a way Mr Boffin . .
“ ”
listened attentively I suppose said he with a gleam of
.
, ,
“ ’
hope there s no doubt about the genuineness and date of
,
this confounded will 9

“
None whatever said Mr Venus ,
. .
Where might it be deposited at present ? asked Mr .
Bo ffin in a wheedling tone

,
.
It s in my possession sir
’
, .
Is it 9 he cried with great eagerness Now for any

,
.
,
liberal sum of money that could be agreed u pon Venus , ,
would you put it in the fire 9

No sir I wouldn t interrupted Mr Venus
, ,
’
,
”
. .
Nor pass it over to me 9

That would be the same thing No sir said Mr .
, , .
Venus .
The Golden D u stman seemed about to pursue these

questions when a stump i ng noise was heard outside coming
, ,
towards the door “

Hush ! here s W e gg ! said Venus
.
’ ”
.
Get behind the young alligator in the corner Mr Bo fli n ,

.
,
and j udge him for yourself I won t light a candle til l he s .

’ ’
gone : there ll only be the glow of the fire ; W e g g s well

’ ’
a cquain ted with the alligator and he won t take particul ar ,

’
notice of him Draw your legs in Mr Bo ffin ; at present I

.
, .
see a pair of shoes at the end of his tail Get your head .
well behind his smile Mr Boffin and you ll lie comfortable ,

.
,
’
there you ll find plenty of room behind his smil e He s a

’
.
’
little dusty but he s very like you in tone Are you right
,
’
.
,
sir ? ”
Mr Botfin had but whispered an a ffi rmative response when

.
,
W e gg came stumping in “
Partner said that gentleman .
,
”
“
i n a sprightly manner how s yourself 9 ’
,
“
Tolerable returned Mr Venus ,
Not much to boast of
”
. . .
I n deed said W e gg : sorry partner that you re not

-
“
, ,
’
picking up faste r but your soul s too large for your body
,
’
sir ; that s where it is And how s our stock in trade

’
.
’
partner 9 Safe bind safe find partner 9 Is that about it 9 , ,

’
MR . W EG G s H O N E ST INDIGN ATI O N 67 9
Do you wish to see it asked Venus 9

.
If you please partner said W e g g rubbi n g his hands

, , ,
.
I wish t o s e e it j i n tl y with yourself Or in similar words .

,
to some that was set to mu sic som e time back

‘
I wi s y o u to h see it wi t h you r e ye s ,
An d I wi p e ll l dge wi th
Turning his back and turnin g a key Mr Venu s produced , .
the document holding on by his usual corner Mr W e gg

,
. .
,
holding on by the opposite corner sat down 0 11 th e s e at so ,

'
lately vacated by Mr Bo ffin an d looked it over All .

,
.
right sir he slowly and u nwillingly admitted in his reluct

, ,
”
,
“ ”
ance to loose his hold all right ! And greedily wat ched ,
his partner as he turned his back again and turned his key ,
aga i n .
‘
There s nothin g new I suppose 9 said V e n u s re s u m i n g
’
,
-
_
” '
,
his low chair behi n d the counter .
“
Yes there is sir replied W e gg
,
“
there was something
, ,
new this morning That fo x e y old grasper and griper.
“
Mr Bofli n 9 inquired Venu s with a glance towards the
.
,
’
alligator s yard or two of smile .
“
Mister be blowed cried W e gg yieldi ng to his honest ,
‘
indignation Bo ffin Dus ty Boffin

. That fox e y old . .
grunter and gri nder s i r turns into th e yard this morning to

, , ,
meddle with our property a menial tool of his own a young , ,
man by the name of Sloppy Ecod when I say to him .

, ,
‘
What do you want here you ng man ? This is a private ,
yard he pulls out a paper from Bo ffin s other blackguard

,
’ ’
,
‘
the one I was passed over for Thi s is to authorise Sloppy .
’ ’
to overlook the carting and to watch th e work That s .
pretty strong I think Mr Venu s 9, ,

.
“
Remembe r he doesn t know yet of our claim on the ’
”
property suggested Venus
,
.
“
Then he must have a hint of it sai d W e gg and a , ,
strong one that ll j og his terrors a bit Give him an inch

’
.
,
’
and he ll take an ell Let him alone this time and what ll
’
.
,
he do with our prope rty next 9 I te ll you what Mr Venus ,

.
it comes to this I must be overbearing with B offi n or I shall ,
fly into several pieces I can t contain myself when I look at .

’
him Every time I see him putting his hand in his pocket
.
,
I see him putt i ng it into my pocket Every time I hear him .

“
j ingling his money I hear him taking liberties with my ,
money Flesh and blood can t bear it No

. said Mr ’
.
,
”
.
W e gg greatly exaspe rated and I ll go further A wooden
, ,
“ ’
.
’ ”
leg can t bear it !
But Mr W e gg u rged Venus
, .
“
it was your own idea , ,
that he sho uld not be exploded u p o n ti ll the Mou nds were ,

»
”
cart e d away .
“
Bu t it was l i kewise my idea Mr Ve nus retorted W e gg ,
.
, ,
that if he came sneaking and sni ffi ng about the property ,
he should be threaten ed given to understa nd that he has no ,
right to it and be made our Slave; Wasn t that m y idea ’

-
Mr Venus 9
, ,
“
It certainly was Mr W e gg ,
. .
It certa i nly was as you say partner assented W e gg , , , ,

“
put into a better humour by the ready ad mi ssion Very .
well I consider his plantin g one of h i s menia l tools in the

.
yard an act of sneaking and sniffing And his nose shall

,
.
be put to the gri n dstone for it .

”
“
It was not your fault Mr W e gg I mu st admit said , .
, ,
“ ”
Ve n us that he got o ff with the Dutch bottle that night
“
.
,
As you handsomely say again partner ! No it was not , ,
my fault I d have h ad that bottle out of him Was it to

.
’
.
be borne that he should come l i ke a thief in the dark , ,
digging a m o n g stu ff th a t was far more ou r s than his (seeing

that we co u ld depri ve him of every grain of i t i f he didn t , ,
’
buy us at our o wn fig u re) and carrying off treasure from its ,
bowels ? No it was not to be borne And for that too his

,
.
, ,
”
nose shall be p u t to the grin dstone .
How do you propose to do it Mr W e gg ? ,

.
To put his nose to the grin dstone 9 I propose returned ,

“
that estim a ble man to insult h i m O penly And if looking ,
.
,
into this eye of mine he dares to offer a word in answer to , ,
retort up o n h i m before he can take his breath Add another ,

’ ’
word to that you d u sty old dog and you re a beggar
, ,
.
S u ppose he says nothing Mr W e gg ? ,

.
The n replie d W e gg
,
”
we Shall have come to an u m ,
d e r s ta n d i n g wi th very little trouble an d I ll break h i m and

’
,
’
d rive him Mr Venus ,
I ll put him in harness and I ll bear
. .
’
h i m u p tight a nd I ll break him and drive him The harder

’
.
,
the old D u st is d riven sir the higher he ll pay And I mean ’
to be paid high Mr Venus I promise you

.
, ,
”
. .
, ,
You speak quite revengefully Mr W e gg , . .
Revengefull y sir 9 I S it for him that I have declined an d

,
’
fa l l e d n ight after night ? Is it for h i s pleasure that I ve
,
waited at home of an evening lik e a set of Skittles to be s e t , ,

B EG O N E , DULL CAR E 6 83
up d kn o cked over , set up and knocked over, by whatever

“
an
b a l l S— o r books —h e cho se to bring against me 9 Why I m

’
a hundred times the man he is sir five hundred times ,
Perhaps it was with the maliciou s intent of urging him “
on to his worst that Mr Venus looked as if he doubted that . .
What ? Was it outside the house at present oc k ypi e d ,
to its disgrace by that minion of fortu ne and worm of the

,
hour sa id W e gg falling back upon his strongest term s of

, ,
reprobation , and Slapping the co u nter that I Silas W e gg

“
, , ,
five hundred times the man he ever was sat in all weathers , ,
waiting for a errand or a customer ? Was it outside that

very house as I first set eyes upon him rolling in the lap of ,
luxury when I was a selling h alfpenny ballads there for a

,
-
living ? And am I to grovel in the dust for h i m to walk

over ? No
There was a grin upon the ghastly countenance of the
F ren ch gentleman u nder the influence of the fir e l i gh t as if ,
h e were computing h o wm a n y thousand slanderers and traitors

array themsel ves against the fortunate on premises exactly ,
ans wering to those of Mr W e gg One might have fancied . .
that the big headed babies were toppling over with their
-
hydrocephalic attempts to reckon up the children of m en who

transform their benefactors into their inj urers by the same
p rocess The yard or two of smile on the part of the
.
alligator might have be en investe d with the meaning All ,
about this was quite familiar knowledge down in the depths

”
of the slime ages ago ,
.
“
Bu t said W e gg possibly with some Slight perce ption to
”
, ,
“
the foregoing effect your speakin g countenance remark s , ,
’
Mr Venus that I m duller and savager than usual Perhaps
.
, .
I h a ve all owed myself to brood too much Begone dull .

,
’ ’
Care ! Tis gone sir I ve looked in upon you a nd empire
resumes her sway F or as the song says —subj ect to you r
.
, ,
.
,
correction Si r ,
‘
W he n th e a t of a m a n i s he r
ep sse wi t d re d h ca res,
Th e m i s t i s i s pe e i f Ve n u s pp a sd ll d a e r .
i L ke th e n o te s o f a fi e , y ou s we e t , s
i r, ddl ly s wee tly ,
R
a i s e s o u r s p i i ts a n d c a m s ou r e a s
’
r h r r .
Good night sir ,

.
“
I Shall have a word or two to say to you Mr W e gg ,
.
,
“
before long remarked Venus respe cti n g my share in the
, ,
’
proj ect we ve been Speaking of .
“
My time sir returned W e g g ,

is yours , In the , .
meanwhile let it be fu lly un derstood tha t I Shall not neglect

bringing the grindstone to bear nor yet bringing Dusty ,
Bo ffin s nose to it His nose once brought to it sh al l be

’
.
,
held to it by these hands Mr Venus till the spark s flies out , .

,
in showers .
With this agreeable promise W e gg stumped out and shut ,

“
the Shop door after him -
Wait til l I li ght a c a ndle Mr .
,
.
Boffin said Venus

”
,
and yo u ll come out more comfortable ,
’
.
”
So he lighting a candle and holding it up at arm s len gt h

,
’
Mr Bo fii n disengaged h i mself from behin d the al l igator s

.
’
smile with an expression of countenance so very downcast

,
that it not only appeared as if the alli gator had the whole of
the j oke to himse l f but further as if it h ad been conceived ,
and executed at Mr Bo ffin s expense .

’
.
That s a treacherous fell ow said Mr Bo th u dusting his

’
,
”
.
,
arms and le gs as he came forth the al ligator having been ,

“
but musty company That s a dread fu l fellow .
’
.
The alligator sir 9 said Venus , .
No Venus no The Serpent

, , . .
”
You ll h ave the goodness to n oti c e Mr Bo ffin remarked

’
' ,
.
,
“
Venus that I sa id nothing t o h i m about my goi ng out of
,
the affair altogether because I di dn t wi s h to take yo u ,

’
’
anyways by surprise But I can t be too soon out of it for .
my satisfaction Mr Boffin and I now put it to you when ,

.
,
it will suit your views for me to retire 9

’
Thank ee Ven u s thank ee Venus but I don t know
’
, ,
’
,
“
what to say retur ned Mr Boffin ,
”
I don t know what to . .
’
’
do He ll drop down on me any way He seems fully
. .
determi ned to drop down don t he 9

Mr Venus opined that such was clearly his intention
. .
“
You might be a sort of protection for me if you remained ,
“
in it said Mr Bofli n ; you might stan d betwixt hi m and
,
”
.
me and ta ke the edge off h i m

,
Don t you fe el as if yo u .
’
co u ld make a Show of r e m a i n In g i n it Venus till I had time , ,
to turn myself round

Venus naturally inqu i red how long Mr Boffin thought it .
might take him to turn himself round 9

“
I am sure I don t know was the answer given quite at a ’
,
”
loss .Everyt h i ng is so at Sixes and sevens If I had never .
come i nto the property I shouldn t have minded But be ing ,

’
.
’
in it it would be very trying to be turned out ; now don t
, ,
y o u acknowledge that it would Venus 9

,
add that he saw no opening to the possibility of such reason .
being shown him .
COm e and see me Venus said Mr Bo ffin “

at my , , .
,
”
house .
“ ”
Is the reason there S i r ? asked Mr Venus with an , .
,
incredulous smile and blink .
“
It may be or may not be said Mr Bo ffin j ust as you
, , .
,
’
V iew it B ut in the meantime don t go out of th e matter
. .
Look here Do this Give me your wo rd that y o u won t

. .
’
take any steps wi th W e gg without my knowledge j ust as , ,
I have given you my word that I won t without yours ’

.
”
“
Done Mr Bofli n said Venu s after a brief considera
,
.
,
’
Thank ee Venus thank ee Venus ! Done !
’
, , ,
When shall I come to see you Mr Bofii n ? ,

.
When y ou like The sooner the better I must be . .
going now Good night Venus .

,
.
”
“ ”
Good night sir , .
And good night to the rest of the present company said ,

‘
Mr Bo fli n glancing round the shop
.
,
They make a queer .
Show Venus and I should li ke to b e better acquainted with

, ,
them some day Good night Venu s good night Th a nk ee .

, ,
’
,
’
Venus thank ee Venus ,
With that he j ogged out int o the
,
street and j ogged upon his homeward way .
No w I wonder he medita ted as he went along nursing

,
”
, , ,
“
his stick whether it can be that Venus is setting himself
, ,
to get the better of W e g g ? Whether it can be that he ,
means when I have bought W e gg out to have me all to

, ,
himself and to pi c k m e clean to the bones 9

It was a cu nning and suspicious id ea quite in the way of ,
his school of Misers and he looked very cunning and sus ,
pi c i ou s as he went j ogging through the stre ets More than .
once or twice more than twice or thrice say half a dozen

, ,
- -
tim es he took his stick from the arm on wh i c h h e nursed

,
it and hit a s traight sharp rap at the air with its head
,
.
Possibly the wo oden countenance of Mr Silas W e gg was .
incorporeally before him at those moments for he h it with ,
intense satisfaction .
He was within a few streets of hi s own house when a little ,
private carriage coming in the contrary direction passe d , ,
him turned round and passed him agai n It was a little

, ,
.
carriage of eccentric movement for again he heard it stop ,
behind him and turn round and agai n he saw it pass h i m ,

.
MRs . LA MMLE AND MR . B O FF IN 68 7
Then it stopped and then went on out of sight But not , ,
.
far out of sight for when he came to the corner of his own , ,
street there it stood again

,
.
There was a lady s face at the window as he came up with ’
this carriage and he was passing it when the lady softly

,
called to him by his name .
“
I beg your pardon Ma am 9 said Mr Bofli n coming to ,
’
.
,
a stop .
It is Mrs La m m l e said the lady .

,
.
Mr Bo ffin went up to the window and ho ped Mrs La m m l e

. .
was well .
“
Not very well dear Mr B o ffin ; I have fluttered myself
by being —perhaps foolishly—uneasy and anxious
.
,
I have .
been waiting for you some time Can I Speak to you 9 .
Mr Boffin proposed that Mrs La m m l e should drive on

. .
to his house a few hundred yards further , .
I would rather not Mr Boffin unless you particularly , .

,
wish it I feel the difficulty an d delicacy of the matter SO

.
mu ch that I would rather avoid speaking to you at you r

own home You must think this very strange 9
.
Mr Bo ffin said no but meant yes

.
,
.
“
It is because I am so grateful for the good opinion of all
my friends and am so touched b y it that I cannot bear to
, ,
ru n the risk of forfeiting it in any case even in the cause of ,
duty I have asked my hu sband (my dear Alfred Mr Bo ffin )

.
, .
whether it i s the cause of duty an d he has most emphatically ,
said Yes I wish I had asked him sooner It would have

. .
spared me much distress .

”
“
( Can this be more dropping down upon me ! thought
”
Mr B offin quite bewi ldered )

.
, .
“
It was Alfred who sent me to you Mr Boffin Alfre d , . .
‘
said Don t come back Sophronia until you have seen Mr
,
’
, ,
.
Bo ffin an d told him all

,
Whatever he may th i nk of it he .
,
ought certainly to know it Would you min d coming into .

’
the carriage 9
“
Mr Bo fli n answered
. Not at all and took his seat at , ,
Mrs La m m l e s side
.
’
.
“
Drive slowly anywhere Mrs La m m l e called to her , .
“ ”
coachma n and don t let the carriage rattle
,
’
.
It m u s t be more dropping down I think said Mr Bo ffin , ,

.
“
to h i mself What next 9 .
C HAP T ER X V
THE G O LD E N D USTM AN AT HI s W OR ST
THE break fast table at Mr Bo ffin s was usually a very .

’
pleasant one and was always presided over by Bella As

, .
tho u gh he began each new day i n his healthy natural cha

r a c te r and some waking hours were necessary to his relapse
,
into the corrupting influences of his wealth the face and the ,
demeanou r of th e G o l d e n Dustman were generally u nclouded

.
at that meal It would have been easy to believe then that

.
,
there was no change in h i m It was as the day went on .
that the clouds gathered and the brightness of the morning ,
became obscured One m i gh t h a v e said that th e Shadows

.
of avarice an d distrust lengthened as hi s own s h adow

lengthened and that the night closed around h i m gradually
, .
B ut one morning long afterwards to be remembered i t ,
was black midnight with the Golden Dustman when he first

appeared His a ltere d character had never been SO grossly
.
marked His bearing towards his Secretary was so charged

.
with insolent distrust and arrogance that the latter rose and ,
left the table before breakfast was half done The look he .
’
directed at the Secretary s retiring figure was so cunningly
malignant that Bella would have sat astounded and i n d i g
,
nant even though he had not gone the length of secretly

,
threatening Rok e s m i th with h i s clenched fist as he closed

the door This unlucky morning of all mornings in the
.
,
year was the morning next after Mr Bofli n s interview with

, .
’
Mrs La m m l e in her little carriage

. .
Bella looked to Mrs Bo ffin s face for comment on or .

’
explanation of this stormy humour in her husband but

, ,
none was there An an xiou s and a distressed observation

.
of her own face was all Sh e could read in it When they .
were left alone together —which was not until n oon for Mr , .
Boffin sat long in his easy chair by turns j ogging up and -

,
d own the breakfast room clenching his fis t and muttering -

,
Bella in consternation asked her what had happened what

, , ,
to Mrs Bo ffin s and she met the look again In a flash it
.
’
, .
enlightened her and she began t o understand what she had ,
done .
“ “
I say to you sir Mr Bo ffin repeated look at this , , .
,
young lady on my arm .
”
I do so returned the Secretary
, .
As his glance rested again on Bella for a moment she ,
thought there was reproach in it But it is possible that the .
reproach was within herself .
“
How dare you sir said Mr Bo fli n tamper unknown , ,
”
.
, ,
to me with this young l ady ? How dare you come out of

,
your station and your place in my house to pester this

, ,
young lady with your impu dent addresses 9

“ ”
I must decline to answer questions said the Secretary , ,
that are s o o ffensively asked

-
.
”
”
You decline to answer ? retorted Mr Bo th u You . .
decline to answer do yo u 9 Then I ll tell you what it is ,

’
,
Ro k e s m i th I ll answer for you There are two sides in this

’
.
matte r and I ll take em separately The fir s t s i d e is sheer

,
’ ’
.
,
’
Insolence That s the first side
. .
”
The Secretary smiled with some bitterness as though he ,

”
would have said So I see an d hear ,
.
“
It was sheer Insolence in you I tell you said Mr Bo fli n , , .
,
even to think of this young lady This young lady was .
far above you This you ng lady was no match for y ou

. .
This young lady was lying in wait (as she was qualified to
”
do ) for money and you had no money , .
Bella hung her head and seemed to shrink a little from

Mr Bofli n s protecting arm
.
’
.
“
What are you I should like to know pursued Mr , , .
“
B o ffin that you were to have the au dacity to follow up
,
this young lady ? This young lady was looking about the
market for a good bid she wasn t in it to be snapped up by ’
fellows that had no money to lay out ; nothing to buy

with
”
.
“
Oh Mr Bo ffin ! Mrs Bofii n pray say something for
, . .
,
”
me ! murmured Bella disengaging her arm and covering , ,
her face with her hands .
“
Old lady said Mr Bo fli n anticipating his wife you
,
“
.
, ,
hold your tongue Bell a my dear don t you let yourself be .

, ,
’
put out I ll right you .

’
.
”
”
But you don t you don t right me ! exclaimed Bella ’
,
’
.
“
wi th great emphasis You wrong me wrong me ! .
,
’
for it ain t worth hearing and won t go down with m e I m ,
’
.
’
a going to unfold your

-
plan before t hi s young lady ; I m ’ ’
a going to show this young lady the second V iew of you

-
and
nothing you can say will sta ve it o fi (Now attend here .
, ,
Bella my dear ) Ro k e s m i th you re a needy chap You re

,
.
,
’
.
’
a chap that I pick up i n the street Are you or ain t you 9 .

,
’
Go on Mr Bofii n don t appeal to me

, .
’
.
”
Not appeal to you retorted Mr Boffin as if he hadn t,

.
’
done so N O I should hope not ! Appealing to y ou woul d

.
,
be rather a rum cou rse AS I was sayi ng you re a nee dy .

,
’
chap that I pick up in the street You come and ask me in .
the street to take y o u for a Secretary and I ta ke you Very ,

.
g oo d f
“
Very bad murmured the Secretary, .
What do you say ? asked Mr Boffin , snapping at him ”

.
aga i n .
He returned no answer Mr Bo th u after eyeing him wi th . .

,
a comical look of d is c o m fite d curiosity was fain to be gin ,
Th i s Rok e s m i th is a needy young man that I take for

my Secretary out of the open street Thi s Rok e s m i th gets .
acquainted with my affairs and gets to know that I mean to ,

‘
settle a sum of money on t h is young lady Oh o says t hi s .
Ro k e s m i th ; here Mr Bo fii n clapped a finger against his

”
.
nose and tapped it several times with a sneak i ng a i r as

, ,
embodying Rok e s m i th confi dentially confabulating with hi s

‘
own nose ; This will be a goo d haul ; I ll go in for this ! ’ ’
And so this Rok e s m i th greedy and hungering b e n a , ,
creeping on his hands and k nees towards the money Not so .
bad a Speculation either for i f this youn g lady had had less
Spirit or had had less sense through bein g a t all i n the
, ,
romantic line by George he might have worked it out and

,
made it p ay ! But fortunately she was too many for h i m ,
and a pretty figure he cuts now he is exposed There he .
St a nds said Mr Bo thn address i ng Rok e s m i th himself with

.
,
“
ridiculous inconsistency Look at h im .
“
Your un fortu nate suspicions Mr Boffin began the ,
.
Secretary .
“
Precious unfortunate for y ou I can tell you sa id Mr , ,
.
B offin
—are not to be combated by any one and I address
.
myse l f to no such hopeless task But I will say a word upon .
the truth .
”
RO KE SMI TH DI SCH ARG E D 695
Yah ! Mu ch you care about the truth said Mr Bofii n ,

.
,
with a snap of hi s fingers .
“
Noddy ! My dear love expostulated his wife .
“
Old lady retu rned Mr Bofii n ,
”
you keep still I say .
,
.
to this Rok e s m i th here, mu ch he cares abo ut the truth I .
tell him again much he cares about the truth ,

.
Our connexion be i ng at an end Mr Bo th u said the ,

.
,
“
Secretary it can be of very little moment to me what you
,
s ay
Oh ! You are knowi ng enough retorted Mr Bo ffm ,

.
,
“
with a sly look to have found out that our connexion s at
,
’
’
an end c h 9 But you can t get beforehan d with me Look at
,
.
this in my hand This is your pay on your discharge You .

, .
’
can only follow suit You can t deprive me of the lead . .
Let s have no pretending that you discharge you rself I

’
.
”
discharge you .
So that I go remarked the Secretary waving the point

, ,
“ ”
aside with his hand it is all one to me ,
.
’
Is it 9 said Mr B offi n But it s two to me let me tell
. .
,
’
you Allowing a fellow that s found out to discharge him
.
self is one thing discharging h i m for in solence and pr e s u m p

,
’
tion a n d likewise for designs upon his master s money is
, ,
’
another One and one s two ; not one (Old lady don t you
.
’
.
,
cut i n You keep

.
Ha Ve you said all you wish to say to m e ? demanded ”
the Secreta ry .
“ ’
I don t kn ow whether I have or not answered Mr Bo th u ,
‘
. .
It depends .
”
Perhaps you will consider whether there are a n y other

strong expressions that you would like to bestow upo n me 9
“ ’ “ ”
I ll consider that said Mr Bo th u obstinately at my , .
, ,
convenience and not at yours You want the last word It

, . .
may not be suitable to let you have it .

”
“
Noddy ! My dear dear Noddy ! You sound so hard , ,
‘
cried poor Mrs Bo flin not to be quite repressed.
,
.
” “
Old lady said her husb a nd but without harshness
,
if , ,
y ou cut in when requested not I ll get a pillow and carry ,

’
you out of the room upon it What do you want to say .

,
you Rok e s m i th 9
“
To you Mr Bofii n noth i ng But to Miss Wil fer and
,
.
, .
t o your good kind wife a word ,

.
“
Out with it then repli ed Mr Bofii n and cu t it short
,
”
.
, ,
for we v e had enough of you .

I have borne said the Secretary in a low voice with, , ,
my false position here that I might not be separated fro m ,
Miss Wilfer To be near her has been a recompense to me

‘
fro m day to day even for the undeserve d treatment I have

.
had here and for the degraded aspect in which s h e has

,
often seen me Since Miss Wilfer rej ected me I have never

.
,
again urged my suit to the best of my belief with a Spoken

-
, ,
syllable or a look B u t I have never changed in my devotion

.
to her except — i f she will fo rgive my saying s o — that it is

,
”
deeper than it was and better founded , .
“
Now mark this chap s saying Miss Wilfer when he
,
’
,
means 3 d cried Mr Bo th u with a cunning wink

. . .
,
.
Now mark this chap s making Miss Wilfer stan d for

,
’
”
Pounds Shillings and Pence !
, ,
“
My feeling for Miss Wilfer pursued the Secreta r y , ,
“
without deigning to notice him is not one to be ashamed ,
of I avow i t I love her Let me go where I may when

. . .
I presently leave this house I shall go into a blank life , ,
leaving her .
“
Leaving 35 s d behind me said Mr Botfin by way of
. .
, .
’
,
co mmentary with another wink ,

.
“
That I am incapable the Secretary went on ; still ,
”
without heedi ng him of a mercenary proj ect or a mer , ,

.
c e n a r y thought in connexion with Miss Wilfer is nothing

, ,
meritorious in m e because any prize that I could put before ,
my fancy would sink into i n s i g n i fic a n c e beside her If the .
greatest we alth or the highest r a nk were hers it would only ,
be important in my sight as removing her still further from

”
me and making me mo re ho peless if that could be Say
, ,
.
,
“
remarked the Secretary, lookin g full at his late master say ,
that with a word she could strip Mr Bo ffin of his fortune .
and take p ossession of it she would be of no greater worth ,

”
in my eyes than she is .
“
What do you think by this time O l d lad y asked Mr , ,
.
“
Bo ffin turning to his wife in a bantering tone
,
about this ,
Ro k e s m i th here and his caring for the truth 9 You need n t

’
say what you think my dear because I don t want you to , ,

’
cut in but you can think it a l l the same As to taking

,
.
'
’
possession of my property I warrant you he wouldn t d o ,
”
that himself if he could .
No returned the Secretar y with another full look

,
”
,
.
“ ’
Ha ha ha laughed Mr Bo ffin
,
There s nothing like . .
a good u n while you a r e about it .

as he took it from the ground and this is mine for I ,
have earned it by the hardest of hard labou r .
“ ’
You re a pretty quick packer I hope said Mr Bo ffin ; , ,
”
.
because the sooner you are gone bag and baggage the , ,
better for all parties .

”
You need have no fear of my lingering .
“
There s j ust one thing though said Mr Bofii n that
’
,
”
.
,
I should like to ask you before we come to a good riddance ,
if it was only to sho w this young lady how conceited you

schemers are in thinking that nobody finds out how you
,
contradict yourselves .
“
Ask me anyth i ng you wish to ask returned Ro k e s m i th , ,
”
bu t use the expedition that you recommend .
“
You pretend to have a mighty admiration for this youn g
lady 9 said Mr Boffin laying his hand protectingly on
.
,
’
Bella s head without loo k ing down at her .
I do not pretend .
”
Oh ! Well You h a ve a mighty admiration for this

.
young lady — since you are so particular ? ”
“
Yes .
’
How do you reconc i le that with this young lady s bei ng ,
a weak spirited improvident idiot not knowing what was

-
, ,
due to herself fli nging up her money to the church weather

,
-
cocks and rac i ng off at a Splitting pace for the workhouse 9

,
'
I d on t understand you.
’ ”
Don t you 9 Or won t you 9 What else could you have

’ “
’
'
made this young lady o u t to be if she had listened to such ,
addresses as yours 9 .
What else if I had been so happy as to wi n her affections

,
and possess her heart 9 .
'
Win her affections retorted Mr Boffi n with ineffable ,

.
,
“
contempt and possess her heart ! Mew says the cat Quack
, ,
quack says the duck B ow wow wow says the dog ! Win her,
- -
affections and pos s ess her heart ! Mew Quack quack Bow ,
-
,
wow
John Rok e s m i th stared at him in his outburst as if with ,
some faint idea that he had gone mad .
“
What is due to this young lady said Mr Bo ffin ,
.
,
Money and this young lady right well knows it

,
.
“
You slander the young lady .
”
You slander the you ng lady ; you with your affections

“
and hearts an d tr u m pe r y f returned Mr Boffin It s of ’
. .
’
a piece with the rest of your behaviour I heard of these .

B E LL A RI G HTE D 699
doings of yours only last night or you should have heard ,
of em from me sooner take your oath of it I heard of

’
,
.
’
em from a lady with as good a headpiece as the best and ,
she knows this young lady and I know this young lady and , ,
’
we all three know that it s Money she makes a stand for
money money money— and that you and your affections
, ,
”
an d hearts are a Lie sir ! ,
Mrs Boffi n said Rok e s m i th quietly turning to her

.
, , ,
for your delicate and unvary ing kindness I thank you with
the warmest gratitude Good bye Miss Wilfer goo d bye .
-
,
-
“
And now my d ear said Mr Bo fli n laying his hand , ,
.
,
on Bella s head again you may begin to make yourse lf

’
,
’
quite comfortable and I hope you feel that you ve been ,
righted .
”
But Bella was so far from appearing to feel it that she ,
shrank from his hand and from the chair and starting up in , ,
an incoherent passion of tears an d stretching out her arms , ,
cried “
O h Mr Rok e s m i th before you go if you coul d but
, ,
.
, ,
make me poor again ! Oh ! Make me poor again Some ,
body I beg an d pray or my heart will break if this goes

, ,
on ! Pa dear make me poor again and take me home !

, ,
I was bad enough there but I have been so much worse ,
here Don t give me money Mr Boffin I won t have money

.
’
,
.
,
’
.
Keep it away from me and only let me speak to good little ,
P a and lay my head upon his Shoul der and tell him all my
, ,
griefs Nobody else can understand me nobody else can

.
,
comfort me nobody else kn ows h ow unworthy I am and yet

, ,
can love me lik e a little child I am better with Pa than any .
one— more i nnocent more sorry more glad ! SO crying , ,

”
,
ou t in a wild way that she could not bear this Bella dropped ,
her head on Mrs Bo ffin s ready breast .

’
.
John Rok e s m i th from his place in the room and Mr , .
Boffin from his looked on at her in silence until she was ,
silent herself Then Mr Bofii n observed in a soothing and . .
“
comfortabl e tone There my dear there ; you are righted , , ,
’ ’ ’
now and it s a ll right I don t wonder I m sure at you r
, .
, ,
being a littl e flu r r i e d by having a scene with this fellow but ,
it s all over my dear and you re righted an d it s— and it s

’
, ,
’
,
’ ’
a ll right ! Which Mr Boffin repeate d with a highly satis

”
.
fie d air of completeness and finality .
”
I hate you ! cried Bella turning suddenly upon him , ,
with a stamp of her little foot at least I can t hate ,

’
you but I don t like you !

,
’
7 oo O UR MUTU AL F RI E ND
HUL— LO ! exclaimed Mr Bo fii n in an amazed u n d er
”
.
tone .
“ ’
You re a scolding u nj ust abu sive aggravat i ng bad old , , , ,
creature ! cried Bella “”

I am angry with my ungrateful .
self for calling you names but you are you are you know ,
you are
Mr Bo fli n stared here and stared there as misdoubting
.
, ,
that he mu st be in some sort of fit .
“ “
I have heard you with shame said Bell a With , .
shame for myself and with shame for you You ought to
, .
be above th e base tale bearing of a time serving woman ; but - -
you are above nothing now .

”
Mr Boffin seemi ng to become convinced that thi s was

.
,
a fit rolled his eyes and loosened his neckcloth

, .
When I came here I respected you and honoured you , ,

“
and I soon loved yo u cried Bella And now I can t bear
,
”
.
’
the sight of you At least I don t know that I ought to go ’
so far as that —only you re a — you re a Monster !

.
,
”
Having ’ ’
shot this bolt out with a great expenditure of force B ella

.
hysterically laughed and c r i e d tog e th e r ‘
“
The best wish I can wish you is sai d Bell a return i ng ,
”
,
“
to the charge that you had not one single farthing in the
,
world If any true friend and well wisher coul d make you
.
-
a bankrupt you would be a Duck but as a man of property

you are a Demon
After dispatching this second bolt with a still greater
expenditure of force Be l l a l a u gh e d and cried stil l more
,
'
“
Mr Ro k e s m i th pray stay one moment Pray hea r one
.
,
.
word from me before you go ! I am deeply sorry for th e ’
reproaches you have borne on my account Out of the .
”
depths of my heart I earnestly and truly beg your pardon .
As she stepped towards hi m he met her As she gave ,

.
“
him her hand he put it to his lips and said
,
Go d bless , ,
’
you ! No laughing was mixed with Bella s crying then
her tears were pu re and fervent .
“
There is not an ungenerou s word that I have hea rd
“
addressed to you —heard with scorn and indi gnation Mr ,

, .
Rok e s m i th — but it has wounded me far more than you for ,
I have deserved it and you never have Mr Rok e s m i th,

. .
,
it is to me you owe this perverte d account of what passed

between u s that night I parted with the secret even whil e .
,
I was angry with myself for d oing SO It wa s very bad i n .
me but in deed it was not wicked

, I did it in a moment .
7 0 2 OUR MUTU AL F RI E ND
seat on a chair over against them and there sat lean ing ,
forward with a fixed countenance h i s legs apart a hand on

, , ,
each knee and his elbows squared until Bella shoul d dry her
, ,
eyes and raise her head which in the fulness of time she did , .
“ “
I must go home said Bella rising hurriedly I am ,
”
, .
V ery grateful to you for all you have done for me but I ,
”
can t Stay here
’
.
“
My darling girl remonstrated Mrs Botfin . .
“
No I can t stay here said Bella ; I can t indeed
,
’
,
” ’
.
Ugh you vicious old thing ! (This to Mr Bo ffin

”
.
“
Don t be rash my love urged Mrs Boffin
’
, Think , . .
well of what you do .

”
“
Yes you had bette r think well said Mr Boffin
, ,
. .
I shall never more thin k well of y ou cried Bella cut , ,
ting him short with intense defiance i n her expressive little

,
eyeb rows and championship of the late Secretary in every

,
dimple No ! Never again ! Your money has changed

.
you to marble You are a hard hearted Miser Y ou are

.
-
.
worse than Dancer worse than Hopk i ns worse than Black , ,
berry J ones worse than any o f the wretches And more !

,
.
”
“
proceeded Bella breaking into tears again you were who l ly
, ,
u ndeserving of the Gentleman you have lost .

”
Why you don t mean to say Miss Bella the Golden

,
’
, ,
“
Dustman slowly remonstrated that you set up Ro k e s m i th ,
against m e 9
“
I do said Bella He is worth a Million of you . .
Very pretty she looked though V ery angry as she made , ,
herself as tall as she possibly could (which was not extremely

tall ) an d utterly renounced her patron with a lofty toss of
,
her rich brown head .
“ ’
I wo uld rather he thought well of me said Bella , ,
though he swept the street for bread than that you did , ,
though you splashed the mud upon him from the wheels of
a chariot of pure gol d — There
“
Well I m sure ! cried Mr Boffin staring
,
’ ”
.
,
.
And for a long time past when you have thought you ,
”
set yourself above h i m I have onl y seen you under his feet , ,
said Bella — “
There ! And throughout I saw in him the
master and I saw i n you the man — There ! And when you
,
u sed h i m shamefully I took his part and loved h i m ,
There ! I boast of it ! After which strong avowal Bell a

underwent reaction and cried to any extent, with her fac e ,
on the back of her chair .

B E LL A Sc oRNs Bo FFI Ns
’
MR . O FF E R 7 3
0
Now look here said Mr Bofii n as soon as he could

, ,
.
,
fin d an opening for breakin g the silence and striking in .
“ ”
Give me your attention Bella I am not angry , . .
“
I a m ! said Bella ”
.
I say resumed the Golden Dustman,

I am not angry , _
,
and I mean kindly to you and I want to overlook this So , .
you ll stay where you are and we ll agree to say n o more

’
,
’
about it .
”
No I can t Stay here cried Bella rising hurriedly

,
’
, ,
“
again ; I can t thin k of staying here I must go home’
.
for good .
“
Now don t be silly Mr Bofii n reasoned
,
’
Don t d o , . .
’
’ ’ ’
what you can t undo ; don t d o what you re sure to be
”
sorry fo r .
“
I sha ll never be sorry for it said Bella and I should ,
always be sorry an d should every minute of my life despise

,
myself if I remained here after what has happened

,
.
”
“ “
At least Bella argued Mr Bo ffin ,
let there be no ,
.
,
mistake about it Look before you leap you know Stay .

,
.
where you are and all s well and all s as it was to be Go

,
’
,
’
.
away and you can never come back

, .
“ I know that I can never come b a ck an d that s wh at ’
I mean said Bella ,

”
.
“ “
You mustn t expect
’
Mr Bo th u pu rsued that I m ,
.
,
’
a going to settle money on you

-
if you leave us l i ke this ,
because I am not NO Bella ! Be careful ! Not one brass

,
.
,
farthing .
“ ”
Expect ! said Bella h aughtily Do you think that any , .
power on earth could make me take it if you did sir 9 , ,
But there was Mrs Boffin to part from a n d in the full .

, ,
flush of her dignity the impressible little soul collapsed ,
agai n Down upon her knees before that good woman she
.
,
rocked h erself upon her breast a n d cried and sobbed and , , ,
folded her in her arms with all her might .
’
You re a dea r a dear the best of dears ! cried Bella , ,
”
.
’
You re the best of human creatures I can never be .
thankful enough to you and can n ever forget y ou If ,

.
I should live to be blind an d deaf I know I Shall see and ,
hear you in my fancy to the last of my dim old days !

, ,
”
Mrs Bofii n wept most heartily and embraced her with all
.
,
fondness ; but said not one single word except that sh e was
her dear girl She said that often enough to be sure for
.
, ,
she sai d it over and over again but not one word else .
Bella broke from her at length and was going weep i ng out ,
of the room when i n her own li ttle queer affectionate wa y

,
she half r e l e n te d t owa r d s Mr Bo fii n . .
“
I am very glad sobbed Bella that I called you names ,
”
,
.
sir because y o u richly deserved it But I a m very sorry

,
.
that I called you names because you used to be so d ifi e r e n t ,

.
Say goo d bye -
Good bye said Mr Boff m shortly

-
,
”
.
,
.
If I knew which of your b a n d s was the least spoilt I ,

“
would ask y o u to let me touch it said Bella for the last ,
”
,
t i m e But not because I repent of what I have said to you

. .
F or I don t It s true ’
.
’
“
Try the left hand said Mr Boffin holding it out i n ,
.
,
.
“ ”
a sto l id manner ; it s the least used ’
.
Y o u have been wonderfully good and kind to me sa id ,

“
Bella and I kiss it for that You have been as bad as bad
,
.
cou ld be to Mr Rok e s m i th and I throw i t away for that

.
,
- -
Thank you for myself an d good bye ,

-
Good bye said Mr Boffin as before

-
,
”
. .
Bella caught h i m round the neck and k i sse d h i m and ran ,
out for ever .
She ran u p stairs and sat d own on the floor in her own
-
,
room and cried abu ndantly But the day was decl ining and .
she had no time to lose She opened all the places where .
she k ept her dresses ; selecte d only those she had brought
with her leaving all the rest ; and made a great misshapen
,
bundle of them to be sent for afterwards .
“ ”
I won t take one of the others said Bella tying the
’
, ,
knots of the bundle very tight i n the severity of her resolu ,
tion . I ll leave all the presents b eh i nd and begin agai n

’
,
”
entirely on my own account That th e resolution might .
be thoroughly carried into practice she e ven changed the ,
dress she wore for that in which she had come to the grand -
mansion Even the bonnet she put on was the bonnet that
.
had mo u nted i nto the Botfin chariot at Ho l loway .
“
Now I am complete said Bella It s a little t rying ,
.
’
,
’
but I have steeped my eyes in cold water and I won t cry ,
any more You have been a pleasant room to me dear room

.
,
.
Adieu We shall never see each other agai n .

”
With a parting k i ss of her fingers to it she softly closed

-
the door an d went wi th a light foot do wn the great sta ir case

, ,
pausing and l i stening as she went that she might meet none ,
of the household NO one chanced to be about and she got

.
,
C HAP T ER XVI
THE F E AST OF T HE T HR E E HO B GOBLI NS
THE City looked unpromising enough as Bella made her ,
way along its gritty streets Most of its money mills were .
-
slackening sail or had left o ff grinding for the day The

,
.
master millers had already departed and the j ourneymen

-
,
were departing There was a j aded aspect on the business

.
lanes and cou rts and the very pavements had a weary appear
,
ance confused by the tread of a million of feet There must

, .
’
be hours of night to temper down the day s distraction of
so feverish a place As yet the worry of the newly stopped
.
-
whirling and grinding on the part of the money mills seemed -
to linger in the air and the quiet was more like the pros
,
tr a ti o n of a spent giant than the repose of one who was

renewing his strength .
If Bella thought as she glanced at the mighty Bank how

, ,
agreeable it would be to have an hour s gardenin g there ’

,
with a bright copper Shovel among the money still she was , ,
not in an avaricious vein Much improved in that respect .

,
and with certain half formed images which had little gold in
-
their composition d ancing before h er bright eyes she arrived

, ,
in the drug fla v o u r e d region of Mincing Lane with the

-
,
’
sensation of having j ust O pened a drawer in a C hemist s shop .
The counting house of Ch i c k s e y Veneering and Sto bb l e s

-
, ,
was pointed out by an elderly female accu stomed to the

care of O ffices who dropped upon Bella out of a public house
,
-
,
wiping her mouth and accounted for its humidity on natural

,
principles well known to the physical sciences by explaining ,

’
that she had looked in at the door to see what o clock it was .
The counting house was a wall eyed ground floo r by a dark

- - -
gateway and Bella was considering as she approached it

, , ,
could there be any precedent in the City for her going in

and asking for R Wilfer when whom should she see sitt i ng
.
, ,
at one of the windows with the plate glass sash raised but -
,
R Wilfer himself preparing to take a slight refection

.
,
.
PA AST O NI SH E D 7 07
On approaching nearer Bella discern ed that the refection ,
had the app e arance of a small cottage loaf and a pennyworth -
of milk Simultaneously with this discovery on her part

.
,
her father discovered her and invoked th e echoes of Mincing ,

“
Lane to exclaim My gracious me
He then came cherubically fl y ing out without a hat and ,
embraced her and handed her in F or it s after hours and

,
.
’
I am all alone my dear he explained and am having — a s

“
, ,
”
I sometimes do when they are all gone — a quiet tea ,

.
”
Looking round the o ffice a s if her father were a captive ,
and this his cell Bella hugged him and choked him to her ,
heart s content
’
.
“
I never was so su rprised my dear sai d her father I , ,
.
couldn t believe my eyes Upon my life I thought they had

’
.
,
taken to lying ! The idea of your coming down the Lane

yourself Why didn t you send the footman down the L a ne ’
my cl ear 9
I have brought no footman with me Pa , .
Oh indeed ,
But you have brought the elegant turn o u t -
my love 9
No Pa ,
.
Y o u never can have walked my dear 9 ,
Yes I have Pa , , .
”
He looked so very much astonished that Bella could not ,
make up her mind to break it to him j ust yet ;

The consequence is Pa that your lovel y woman feels a , ,
little faint and would very much like to share y ou r tea

, .
”
The cottage loaf and the pennyworth of milk had been set
-
forth on a sheet of paper on the window seat The cherubic -

.
pocket knife with the first bit of the loaf Still on its point
-
, ,
lay beside them where it had been hastily thrown dow n .
“
Bella took the bit o ff and put it in her mouth My dear , .
“
child said her father
,
the idea of your partaking of such ,
lowly fare ! But at least you must have your own loaf and , ,
’
your own penn o r th One moment my dear The Dairy is .
,
.
”
just over the way and round the corner .
Regardless of Bella s dissuasions he ran out and quickly ’
,
“
returned with the new supply My dear child he said as .
,
”
,
“
he spread it on another piece of paper before her the idea ,
of a splendid and then looked at her figure and ,
stopped short .
“ ’
What s the matter Pa ? ,
o f a splendid
-
female he resumed more slowly , , ,
putting up with such accommodation as the present — Is
that a new dress you have on my dear 9 ,
’
N 0 Pa an old one Don t you remember it 9
, , .
Why I th ou gh t I remembered it my dear !

, ,
”
”
You should for you bought it Pa , , .
Yes I though t I bought it my dear ! said th e cherub

, ,
”
giving himself a little shake as if to rouse his faculties , .
“
And have you grown so fickle that you don t like your ’
own taste Pa dear ? , ,

“
Well my love he returned swallowing a bit of the
, , ,
cottage loaf with considerable effort for it seemed to stick by

-
,
the way : I should have thought it was hardly su fficiently

”
Splendid for existing cir cu mstances .
“
And so Pa said Bella moving coaxingly to his side
, ,
”
, ,
‘‘
instead of remaining opposite you sometimes have a quiet ,
’
tea here all alone 9 I a m not in the tea s way if I draw my ,
arm over your shoulder like this Pa 9 ,
Y es my dear and no my dear

,
Y es to the first , , .
question and certainly Not to the second Respecting the

, .
quiet tea my dear why you see the occupations of the d ay

, ,
are sometimes a little wearing ; and if there s nothing i n ter ’
posed between the day and your mother why s he is some ,

”
times a little wearing too .
“
I kno w Pa ,
.
”
Yes my dear So sometimes I put a quiet tea at the

,
.
window here with a little quiet contemplation of the Lane

,
(which comes soothing) be tween the d a y and domestic , ,
Bliss suggested Bella sorrowfully

,
”
, .
And domestic Bliss said her father quite contented to , ,
accept the phrase .
Bella kissed him And it is in this dark dingy place of .

,
captivity poor dear that you pass all the hours of you r l ife
, , .
when you are not at home 9

“
Not at home or not on the road there or on the road , ,
here my love
,
Yes Y o u see that little desk in the
. .
corner 9
“
In the dark corner furthest both from the light and ,
from the fireplace 9 The shabbiest d esk of all the d esks 9

“
Now does it really strike y o u in that point of view ,
my dear 9 said her father surveying it a rtistically with his ,
head on one side “

that s mine That s called Ru m ty s ’
.
’ ’
Perch .
”
“
Whose Perch 9 asked Bella with great indignation , .
“
To which Bella respon ded Y es I AM yours if you think , , .
me worth taking And after that seemed to Shrink to

next to n o thing in th e c l a s p of his arms partly because it '
was Such a strong one on his part a n d partly because there ,
was su ch a yielding to it on hers .
The cherub wh ose hair would have done for itself under
, ,
the influence of this amazing Spectacle what Bella had just ,
now done for it staggered back into the window seat from
,
-
which he had risen and surveyed the pair with his eyes ,
dilated to their utmost .
“ “ ’
But we must think of dear Pa said Bella ; I haven t ,
told dear Pa let us Speak to Pa Up on which they turned .

”
to do so .
“
I wish first my dear remarked th e cherub faintly that
, , ,
you d have the kindness to sprinkle me with a little milk for

’
I feel as if I was — Going .

”
In fact the good little fellow had become alarmingly limp ,
and his senses seemed to be rapidly escaping from the knees ,
upward Bella Sprinkled him with kisses instead of milk but

.
,
gave him a little of that article to drink and he gradually

revived under her caressing care .
“ ’
We ll break it to you gently dearest Pa said Bella , ,
.
“
My dear returned the cher u b looking at them both you
,
”
, ,
broke so much in the fir s t— Gush if I may SO express myself ,

—that I think I am equal to a good large breakage now .
”
Mr Wilfer said John Rok e s m i th excitedly and j oyfully

.
, , ,
Bella takes me though I h ave no fortune even no present

, ,
occupation nothing but what I can get in the life before us .
Bella takes me
Yes I should rather have inferred my dear sir returned
, , ,
“
the cherub feebly that Bella took you from w h at I have
, ,
within these few minutes remarked .
“ “
You don t know Pa said Bella how ill I have used
’
, ,
”
,
him
“
“
You don t know Si r said Rok e s m i th
’
what a heart
, , ,
‘
she has
’
You don t know Pa said Bella what a shocking , , ,
”
creature I was growing when he saved me from myself !
-
,
“
“
You don t know Si r said Rok e s m i th
’
what a sacrifice
, ,
”
,
she has made for me

“ ”
My dear Bella replied the cherub still pathetically
, ,
scared an d my dear John Rok e s m i th if you will allow me

“
, ,
so to call you
PA DI AGN OSES THE SI TU ATI O N 71 1
Yes do Pa do ! urged Bella 1 allow you and m y

”
will is his law Isn t i t—dear John Ro k e s m i th 9

, , ,
.
,
’
.
There was an engagi ng shyness in Bella coupled with an ,
engaging tenderness of love and confidence and pride in thu s ,
first calling him by nam e which made it qu ite excusable in ,
John Ro k e s m ith to do what he did What he d i d was o n ce .

,
more to give her the appearance of vanishing as aforesaid .
“ “
I think my dears observed the cheru b that if you
, , ,
coul d make it convenient to sit one on one side of me and ,
the other on the other we shou ld get on rather more co u se ,
c u ti Ve l y and make things rather plainer

,
Joh n Ro k e s m i th .
mentioned a while ago that he had no present occu pation ,

.
None said Rok e s m i th

,
.
”
No Pa none said Bella
, , ,
.
“
F rom which I a rgue proce eded the cherub, that he ,
”
h as left Mr Bo ffin 9 .
“
Yes Pa And so
,
.
Stop a bit my dear I wish to lead up to it by degrees

,
. .
And that Mr Bo ffin has not treated him well 9

.
Has treated him most shamef ully dear Pa cried Bella , ,
with a flash ing face .
“
Of which pursued the cherub enj oining patience with
, ,
his hand a certain mercenary young person d istantl y related

,
to myself coul d not approve 9 Am I leading up to it right 9

“
Could not approve sweet Pa said Bella with a tearful , ,
”
laugh and a j oyful kiss .
“ “
Upon which pursu ed the cherub the certain mercenary
,
”
,
young person distantly related to myself having previously ,
observed and mentioned to myself that prosperity was Spoil

ing Mr Bo ffin felt that she mu st not sell her sense of what
.
,
was right and what was wrong and what was true and what ,
was false and what was j ust and what was unjust for any
, ,
price that could be paid to her by any one alive 9 Am

I leading up to it I i gh t 9
With another tearful laugh Bella j o y fully kissed him again .
“
An d therefore —and therefore th e cherub went on in a ,
”
glowing voice as Bella s hand stole gradually up his waist

,
’
“
coat to his neck this mercen ary y oung person distantly
,
related to myself refused the price took o ff the Splendid ,
fashions that were part of it put on the comparatively poor ,
d ress that I had last given her and tru sting to my supporting ,
her in what was right came straight to me Have I led u p ,

.
-
to it 9
’
Bella s hand was rou nd his neck by this time and her face ,
was o n it .
“
The mercenary young person distantly rel ated to myself ,
“
said her good father did well The mercenary young person
,
distantly related to myself d i d not trust to me in vain !

I admire this mercenary young person distantly related to
myself more in this dress than if she had come to me
,
in China S ilks Cashmere Shawls and Golconda diamonds

, , .
I love this young person dearly I say to the man of this .
‘
young person s heart out of my heart and with a ll of it My
’
, ,
blessing on this engagement betwixt you and she brings you ,
a good fortune when she brings you the poverty she has
accepted for your sake and the honest truth s ’
The staunch little man s voice failed him as he gave John ’
Ro k e s m i th his hand and he was silent bending his face low

, ,
over his daughter B ut not for long He soon looked up

. .
,
saying in a sprightly tone

And now my dear child if y o u think y o u can entertain
, ,
John Rok e s m i th for a minute and a half I ll run over to the ,

’
Dairy and fetch h im a cottage loaf and a d rink of milk that

,
-
,
we may all have tea together .

”
It was as Bella gaily said like the supper provided for

, ,
the three nursery hobgoblin s at their house in the forest ,
without their thunderous low growlings of the alarming dis

c ove r y ,
Somebody s been drinking my milk ! It was a
’ ”
delicious repast ; by far the most delicious that Bella o r ,
John Rok e s m i th or even R Wilfer had ever made The

,
.
, .
uncongenial oddity of its surroundings with the two brass ,
knobs of the iron safe of Ch i c k s e y Veneering and Sto b b l e s , ,
staring from a corner like the eyes of some dull dragon only , ,
made it the m ore delightful .
To think said the cherub looking round the o ffice w i th

,
”
,
“
unspeakable enj oyment that anything of a tender nature ,
s h ould come off here is what tickles me To thi nk tha t , .
ever I should have seen my Bella folded in the arms of h e r

”
future husband h er e you know ! ,
It was not until the cottage l oaves and the milk had for -
some time disappeared and the foreshadowings of night were ,
creeping over Mincing Lane that the cherub by degrees ,
became a little nervous and said to Bella as he cleared h i s , ,
throat :
“
Hem Have you thought at all about your mother my
-
,
dear 9
himself so much in the way of their deep enjoyment of the
“
j ourney that he apologetically remarked
,
I think my dears , ,
I ll tak e the lead on the other side of the road and seem not
’
to belong to you Which he did cherubically strewi ng the

.
,
path with smiles in the absence of flowers , .
’
It was almost ten o clock when they stopped within V iew of
Wilfer Castle ; and then the spo t being quiet and deserted , ,
Bella began a series of disappearances which th reatened to

last all night .
“ “
I think John the cherub hin ted at last that if you
, , ,
can spare me the young person distantly related to myself ,
I ll take her in
’
.
“
I can t Spare her answered John but I must lend her
’
to y o u — My Darling
, ,
. A word of magic which caused Bella

instantly to disappear again .
‘
No w dearest Pa said Bell a when she became V isible
, ,
’
, ,
put your hand in mine and we ll run home as fast as ever ,
we can run and get it over Now Pa Once !

,
.
, .
“ ”
My dear the cherub faltered with something of a craven
, ,
“
air ,
I was going to O bserve that if your mother
“ ’
You mustn t hang back sir to gain time cried Bella , , ,
”
,
“
putting out h er right foot ; do you see that sir ? That s ,
’
the mark come up to the mark sir Once Twice Three , .
times and away Pa Off she Skimmed bearing the ch er u b

, ,
along nor ever stopped nor suffered him to stop until she
, , ,
had pulled at the bell Now dear P a said Bella taking .

, ,
”
,
h i m by both ears as if he were a pitcher and conveying his ,
face to her rosy lips we are in fo r it ,
Miss La v v y came out to open the gate waited 011 by th a t ,
attentive cavalier and friend of the family Mr Georg e , .
“
Sampson Why it s never Bella
. exclaimed Miss La v vy
,
’
,
“ ’
starting back at the sight And then bawled Ma ! Here s .
,
Bel la ! ”
This pro duced before they could get into the house Mrs
, ,
.
Wil fer Who standing i n the port al received them with

.
, ,
ghostly gloom and all her other appliances of ceremony

,
.
“ ”
My child is welcome though unlooked for s aid she , , ,
at the ti m e presenting her cheek as if it were a cool slate

for V isitors to enrol themselves upon You too R W .
,
. .
,
are welcome though late Does the male domestic of Mrs

,
. .
Bo ffin hear me there ? This deep toned inquiry was cast ”

-
forth into the night for response from the menial in ,
question .
’
MI SS LAV V Y S P R E DICTI O N F UL F ILL E D 715
There is no one waiting Ma dear said Bella , ,
.
There is no one waiting ? repeated Mrs Wilfer i n ”

.
,
maj estic accents .
No Ma dear
A dignified s h i v e I pervaded Mrs W i lfe r s shoul ders and
.
,
’
.
“ ”
a s who should say
gl ov e s a ,
An Enigma ! and then sh e ,
marched at the head of the procession to the family keeping

room where she O bserved
,
“
Unless R W who started on being solemnly turned
,
. .
“
upon : you have taken the precaution of making som e
.
addition t o ou r frugal supper on your way home it will ,
prove but a distasteful one to Be l la Cold neck of mutton .
and a lettuce can ill compete with the luxuries of Mr Boffin s .

’
board .
”
“ “
Pray don t talk like that Ma dear said Bella ; Mr
’
, ,
.
Boffin s board is nothing to me

’
.
But here Miss Lavinia who had been intently eyeing ,

“ ”
Bella s bonnet struck in with Why Bella !
’
, ,
“ ”
Yes La vvy I know , ,
.
The Irrepressible lowered her eyes to Bella s dress and ’
“
stooped to look at it exclaiming again : Why Bella ! , ,
“
Yes La v vy I know what I have got on I was going
, ,
.
to tell Ma when you interrupted I have left Mr Bofii n s

’
. .
”
house for good Ma and I h ave come home again
, ,
.
Mrs Wilfer spake no word but having glared at her

.
, ,
offspring for a minute or two in an awful silence retired ,
into her corner of state backward and sat down : like a frozen ,
article on sale in a Russian market .
In short dear Ma said Bel la taking O ff the depreciated

, ,
”
,
“
bonnet and shaking out her hair I h ave had a very serious ,
di fference with Mr B offi n on the subject of his treatment of

.
’
a member of his househ old and it s a final di fference and , ,
there s an end of all

’
.
”
“
An d I am bound to tell you my dear added R W , ,
. .
,
“
submissively that Bella has acted in a truly brave spirit
, ,
and with a truly right feeling And therefore I h O pe my .

,
”
dear you ll not allow yourself to be greatly disappointed
,
’
.
“
George ! said Miss La v vy in a sepulchral warni n g
”
, ,
“
voice founded on her mother s : George Sampson Speak
,
’
What did I tell you about those Boffins 9

Mr Sampson perceiving his frail bark to be labouring
.
among shoals and breakers thought it safest not to refer ,
back to any particular thing t h at he had been told lest he ,

should refer back to the wrong thing With admirable .
seamanship he got his bark into deep wate r by murmuring,

“ ”
Yes indeed , .
“
Yes ! I told George Sampson as George Sampson tells ,
you said Miss La vvy

,
that those hateful B offins wo u ld ,
pick a quarrel with Bella as soon as her n ovelty had worn ,
o ff . Have they done it or have they not ? Was I right , ,
or was I wrong ? And what do you say to us Bella of your , ,
Bo ffin s now 9
“
La v vy and Ma said Bell a I say of Mr and Mrs Bo ffin , ,
. .
what I always have said and I always shall say of them what
I always have said But nothing will induce me to qu arrel .
with any one to n ight I hope you are not sorry to see me .
,
“
Ma dear k i ss i ng her and I hope you are not sorry to see
,
”
me La vvy k i ssing her too

,
and as I notice the lettuce Ma
,
”
mentioned on the table I ll make the salad

, ,
’
.
”
Bella playfully setting herself about the task Mrs W il fe r s ,

.
’
impressive counte n ance followed her with glaring eyes pre ,
senting a combination of the once popular Sign of the

’
Saracen s Head with a piece of Dutch clockwork and sug , ,
ge s ti n g to an imaginative mind that from the composition

of the salad her daughter might prudently omit the V inegar
, .
But no word issued fro m the maj estic matron s li ps And ’

.
this was more terrific to her husban d (as perhaps she k new)
than any flow of eloqu ence with which she could have e d i fie d
the company .
“ “
Now Ma dear said B ella in due course
,
the salad s
, , ,
’
ready and it s past supper time

,
’
-
.
”
Mrs Wilfer rose but remain ed speechless

. George ! , .
”
“ ”
said Miss Lavinia in her voice of warning Ma s chair ! ,
’
Mr Sampson flew to the excellent lady s back and followed

.
’
her up close chair in hand as she stalked to the banquet

, ,
.
Arrived at the table she took her rigid seat after favouring , ,
Mr Sampson with a glare for h imself which caused the young

.
,
ge n tleman to retire to his place in much confu sion .
The cherub not presuming to address so tremendous an

obj ect transacted her supper through the agency of a third
,
“ ”
person as Mutton to your Ma B ella my dear ;
,
and , ,
La v vy I dare say your Ma would take some lettuce if you

,
Mrs W il fe r s manner of ” ’
were to put it on her plate . .
receiving those viands was marked by petrified absen c e of

mind in which state l i kewise she part ook of them occasion , , ,
ally laying down her knife and fork as saying within her ,
“
Irrepressible But perhaps I might have said if I had not
.
,
’
been restrained by delicacy towards a sister s feelings th at ,
I have for some time felt independent too i n dependent my ,
dear to subj ect myself to have my intended match (you ll

,
’
prick yourself again Geo rge) looked down upon It is not ,

.
that I could have blamed you for looking down upon it ,
when you were looking up to a rich and great m atch Bella ,
it is only that I was independent .

”
Whether th e Irrepressible felt slighted by Bella s declara ’
tion that Sh e would n ot quarrel or W hether her spitefulness ,
was evoked by Bella s return to the sphere of Mr George ’

.
Sampson s courtship or whether it was a necessary fil l i p to

’
her Spirits that she shou ld come into collision with Somebody
on the present occasion — anyhow she made a dash at her ,
stately parent now with the greatest impetuosity , .
“ ’
Ma pray don t sit staring at me in that intensely a ggr a
,
v a ti n
g manner ! If you see a black O II my nose tell me so ,
”
if you don t leave me alone
’
, .
”
Do you address Me in those words ? said Mrs Wilfer . .
Do you presume 9
’
Don t talk about presuming Ma for goodness sake , ,
’
.
A girl who is old enough to be engaged is quite old enough ,

”
to obj ect to be stared at as if she was a Clock .
“ “
Audacious one said Mrs Wilfer Your grandmamma . .
,
if so addressed by one of her daughters at any age would , ,

”
have insisted on her retiring to a dark apartment .
“
My grandmam m a retu rned La v v y folding her arms an d ,
”
,
“ ’
lean ing back i n her chair wouldn t have sat Staring people ,
”
out of countenance I think ,
.
”
She would ! said Mrs Wilfer . .
Then it s a pity she didn t know better said La v vy

’ ’
,
.
And if my grandmamma wa s n t i n her dotage when she ’
took to insisting on people s retiring to dark apartments Sh e ’
ought to have been A pretty exhibition my grandmamma .
must have made of herself ! I wonder whether she ever

’ ’
insisted on people s retiring into the ball of St Paul s ; and .
if she did how she got them there

,
“ ”
S ilence ! proclaimed Mrs Wilfer
”
I command silence ! . .
I have not the slightest intention of being silent Ma , ,

“
returned Lavinia coolly bu t quite the contrary I am not
, ,
.
going to be eyed as if I had come from the Boffins and sit ,
silent under it I a m not going to have George Sampson

.
eyed as if h e had come from the Boffin s and sit silent u nder it ,
.
MRS . W IL FE R R E PAIR S TO BE D 719
If Pa thinks proper to be eyed as if he had come from th
’
Boffins also well and good I don t choose to
,
An d I . .
’ ”
won t !
Lavinia s engineerin g having m ade this crooked openi n g
’
at Bella Mrs Wilfer strode into it

,
. .
You rebelliou s spirit ! You mutinou s child ! Tell me

this Lavinia If in V iolation of your mother s sentimen ts
, .
,
’
you had condescended to a l l ow y ou r s e l f to be patronised

'
by the Boffins and if you had come from those halls o f

,
slavery
“ ’
That s mere nonsense Ma said Lavinia , ,
.
How exclaimed Mrs Wilfer with sublime severity .

, .
Halls of slavery Ma is mere stu ff and n on s e n s e r e tu r n e d , , ,

”
the unmoved Irrepressible .
“
I say presumptuou s child if you had com e from the
, ,
neighbourhood of Portland Place bendi n g under th e yoke of ,
patronage a n d attended by its domestics in glittering ga rb

,
to V isit me do you think my d eep seated feeli n gs could have

,
-
been expressed in looks 9

“
All I think about it is returned Lavinia that I sh ould , ,
”
wish them expressed to the right person .
“ “ ”
And if pursued her mother if maki n g light of m y
, , ,
warnings that the face of Mrs Bo th u a l o n e wa s a face .

'
teeming with evil you had cl ung to Mrs Bofli n instead of

’
.
,
to me and had after all come home rej ected b y Mrs Boffin
, .
,
trampled under foot by Mrs Boffin and cast out by Mrs .

, .
Bo th u do you think my feelings could have been expressed

,
in looks 9
Lavinia was about replyin g to her honoured parent that
she might a s well have dispensed with her looks altogether
“
then when Bella rose and sai d
,
Good night d ear Ma , , .
I have had a tiring day and I ll go to bed This bro k e Up ,

’
.
”
the agreeable party Mr George Sampson shortly a fterward s . .
took his leave accompanied by Miss Lavinia with a candle

,
as far a s the hall and without a candle as far as the garden

,
gate Mrs Wilfer washing her hands of the Bo ffin s went to

.
, ,
bed after the manner of Lady Macbeth and R W was left . .
alone a mong the dilapidations of the su pper table in a ,
m ela n choly attitude .
But a light footstep rou sed him from his me d itations ,
a n d it was Bella s Her pretty hair was hangi n g a ll about

’
.
her and she had tripped down softly brush in h a n d a n d

, , ,
barefoot to say good night to him

, .
72 0 OU R MUTU AL F RIE ND
My dear you most un questionably a r e a lovely woman
, ,
said the cherub taking up a tress i n his hand , .
“ “ ”
Look here sir said Bella ; when your lovely woman , ,
marries you shall have that piece if you l i ke and she ll make
, ,
’
you a chai n of it Would you prize that remembrance of .
the dear creature 9

“
Yes my precious ,
.
’
Then you shall have it if you re good sir I am very , . .
very sorry dearest Pa to have brought home all this

, ,
trouble .
”
“
My pet retu rned her father in the s i mpl est goo d faith
, , ,
don t make yourse l f uneasy about that It really is not

’
.
worth mentioning because th i ngs at home would have taken ,
pretty much the same turn any way If your mother and .
sister don t find one subj ect to ge t at ti mes a little weari ng

’
’
on they find another We re never out of a wearing subj ect
‘
.
, ,
my dear I assure you I am afraid you fin d your ol d room

, .
with La vvy dreadfully inconvenient Bella ? ,

“ ’ ’ ’
No I don t Pa ; I don t min d Why don t I mind do
, , .
,
you think Pa 9 ,
“
Well my child you used to complain of it when it wasn t
, ,
’
such a contrast as it must be now Upon my word I can .

,
only ans wer be cause you are so much improved , .

”
No Pa Because I am so thankful and so happy !

,
.
”
Here Sh e choked him until her long hair m ade him sneeze ,
and then Sh e l aughed until she made him laugh and then ,
she choked him again that they might not be overheard .
“ ”
Listen sir said Bella Your l ovely woman was told
, ,
.
her fortune to n ight on her way home It won t be a lar ge .

’
fortune because if the lovely woman s Intended gets a certain

,
’
appointment that he hopes to get soon she will marry on a ,

’
hu ndred and fifty pounds a year But that s at first and .
,
even if it should never be more the lovely woman wil l make ,
it quite enough But that s not all Si r In the fortune .

’
, .
there s a certain fair man — a little man the fortu ne teller

’
,
-
said — who it seems will always find himself near the l ovely
, ,
woman and will always have kept expressly for him such a
, , ,
peaceful corner in the lovely woman s li ttle house as never ’
was Tell me the name of that man sir

.
, .
I S he a Knave in the pack of cards 9 inquired the

cherub with a twinkle in his eyes
, .
Yes cried Bella in high glee choking him again , ,

.
He s the Knave of W ilfe r s ! Dear Pa the lovely woman

’
,
THE
’
L OV E LY W O M AN S F O RTUN E TO LD 7 3
2
m eans to look forward to this fortune that has been told for
her so delightfully and to cause it to make her a much
,
better l ovely woman than she ever has been yet What the .
lit tle fair man is expected to do Si r is to look forward to

, ,
it also by saying to himself when he is in danger of being

, ,
‘
over worried I see land at last
-
,
”
I see l and at last ! repeated her father .
There s a dear Knave of W i lfe r s

’
exclaimed Bella then
“
putti ng out her small white bare foot That s the mark sir ,
’
,
.
Come to the mark Pu t you r boot against it We keep to

. .
it together mind ,
Now Si r you may kiss the lovely woman
, ,
before Sh e runs away so th ankful and so happy Oh yes fair

,
.
,
”
little man , so thankful and so happy !
C HAP TER X V II
A SO C I AL C HO RUS
AmAz E ME NT sits enthroned upon the countenances of Mr and .
Mrs Al fred La m m l e s circle of acquaintance when the

.
’
disposal of their fir s t class furniture and effects (including -
“
a Billiard Table in capital letters) by auction under a bill ,
”
of sale is publicly announced on a waving hearthrug in
,
Sackville Street But nobody i s half so much amazed as

Hamilton Veneering Esquire MP fo r Pocket Breaches
.
-
. .
, , ,
who instantly begins to find out that the La m m l e s are the

o nly people ever entered on his soul s register who are n ot ’
the oldest and deares t friends he has i n the world Mrs

Veneering W MP for Pocket Breaches like a faithful wi fe
. .
-
. . .
, , ,
’
shares her husban d s discovery and inexpressible astonish
ment Perhaps the Ve neerings twain may deem the last
.
unutterable feeling particularly due to their reputation by ,
reason that once upo n a time some of the longer heads in

the City are whispered t o have shaken themselves when ,
Veneering s extensive dealings and great wealth were men

’
ti o n e d But it is certain that neither Mr nor Mrs Veneer

. . .
ing can find words to wonder in and it becomes necessary ,
that they give to the oldest and dearest friends they have in
the world a wondering dinner
, .
F o r it is by this time noticeable that whatever befalls the , ,
Veneerings must give a dinner upon it Lady Tippins lives .
in a chronic state of invitation to dine with the Veneerings ,
and in a chronic state of in flammation arising from the

dinners Boots and Brewer go abou t in cabs with no other
.
,
intelligible business on earth than to beat up people to come

and dine with the Veneerings Veneering pervades the .
legislative lobbies intent u pon entrapping his fellow

,
legislators to dinner Mrs Veneering dined with fiv e and . .

-
twenty bran new faces over night ; cal l s upon them all
- -
to day ; sends the m every one a dinner card to morrow for

- - -
,
the week after next ; before that dinner is digested calls ,

726 OUR MUTU AL F RI E ND
Mr T wemlow longer than a very few m i nutes The lady is
su re that Mr Twemlowwill do her the k indness to see her
. .
'
.
o n being told that Sh e pa r ticularly desires a S hort intervie w .
The lady has no doubt whatever of Mr Twe m l ow s compliance .

’
when he hears her name Has begged the servant to be par .
ti c u l a r not to mistake her name Would have sent in a card .

,
but has none .
Show the lady in Lady shown i n comes in .

, .
Mr Twe m l ow s li ttle rooms are modestly furnished in an

.
’
old fashioned manner (rather like the housekeeper s room at

-
’
Sn i g s wo r th y Park ) and would b e b a r e of mere ornament

, l ,
were it not for a full length engraving of the sublime -
Sn i gs wo r th over the chimney piece snorting at a Corinthian -

,
column with an enormous roll of paper at his feet and a

, ,
heavy curtain going to tumble down on his head ; those

accessories being understood to represent the noble lord as
somehow in the act of saving his country .
“
Pray take a seat Mrs La m m l e Mrs La m m l e takes a
,
. .
”
.
seat and opens the conversation .
“
I have no doubt Mr Tweml ow that you have heard of ,
.
,
a reverse of fortune having befallen us Of course you have .
heard of it for no kind of news travels so fast — amo ng one s

,
’
friends especially .
Mindfu l of the wondering dinner Tweml ow with a little , ,
twinge admits the imputation

,
.
Probably it will not says Mrs La m m l e with a certain ,

”
.
,
hardene d ma n ner upon her that makes Twemlow shrink ,
have surprised you so much as some others after what ,
passed between us at the house which is n ow turned out

at windows I have taken the liberty of calling upon you
.
Mr Twemlow to add a sort of postscript to what I said

.
,
”
that day .
Mr Twe m l ow s dry and hollo w cheeks become more dry

.
’
and hollow at the prospect of some new complication .
” “
Really says the uneasy little gentl e man really Mrs
, , ,
.
La m m l e I should take it as a favour if you could excuse

,
me from any further confidence It has ever been one of .
the obj ects of my life —which unfortunately has not had , ,
many obj ects — to be ino ffensive and t o keep out of cabals ,
and interferences .
Mrs La m m l e by far the more observant of the two

scarcely finds it necessary to look at Twemlo wwhile h e
.
, ,
Speaks so easily does Sh e read him

,
.
MRS LAMMLE S
’
. P O STS C RI P T 72 7
My postscript — to retain the term I have used says -
Mrs La m m l e fixin g her eyes on his face to enforce what

.
, ,
Sh e says herself — “
coincides exactly with what you say ,
M r Twemlow So far from troubling you with any new

. .
confidence I merely wish to remind you what the old one

,
was . So far fro m asking you for interferen ce I merely wi s h ,
to claim your strict neutrality .
Twemlow going on to reply Sh e rests her eyes again , ,
knowi n g her ears to be quite enough for the contents of SO

weak a vessel .
“ “
I can I suppose says Twemlow nervously
,
o ffer n o, , ,
reasonable obj ection to hearin g anythi n g that you d o me th e

honou r to wish to say to me under those heads But if I .
may with all possi b le delicacy and politenes s entreat you

not to range beyon d them I —I beg to do so
, ,
”
.
,
Sir says Mrs La m m l e raising her eyes to his face a gain

,
”
.
, ,
“
and quite dauntin g him with her hardened m anner I ,
imparted to you a certain piece of knowle d ge to be im parted ,

”
a gain as you thought best to a certain person
, , .
“ ”
Which I did say s Twemlow , .
And for doing which I thank you ; though indee d I , , ,
scarcely know why I turned traitress to m y husb a nd in the

matter for the girl is a poor l ittle fool I was a poor little
, .
”
fool once myself ; I can find no better reason Seei n g the .
e ffect she produces on him by her indi fferent laugh and cold
“
look she keeps her eyes upon him as she proceeds
,
Mr . .
Tweml ow if you should chance to see my husban d or to see

, ,
me or to see both of us i n the favour or confidence of any

, ,
one else — whether of o u r common acquaintance or not is of

no consequence—you have no right to use against us the
,
knowledge I entrusted you with for one special purpo s e ,
which has been accomplished This is what I came to say . .
I t is not a stipulation to a gentleman it is sim ply a

reminder .
Twemlow sits murmuring to himself with his hand to his

forehead .
“
It is so plain a case Mrs La m m l e goes on as between ,
.
,
me (from the first relying o n your honour) a n d you that I ,
will not waste another word upon it She looks steadily at .

”
Mr Twemlow until with a sh r ug he makes her a little

.
, , ,
“
one sided bow as though saying Yes I think you have a
-
, , ,
right to rely upon me and then she moistens her lips and , ,
Shows a sense of relief .

I trust I have kept the promise I made through your
servant that I woul d detain you a very few minutes I
, .
'
need trouble you no longer Mr Twemlow , . .
”
Stay ! says Twemlow rising as she rises Pardon me , .
a moment I should n ever have sought you out madam to

.
, ,
say what I am going to say but sinc e you have sought m e ,
out and are here I will throw it O ff my mind Was it quite

, .
consistent in candour with our taking that resolution against

, ,
Mr Fl e d g e b y that you Should afterwards address Mr Fl e d g e b y

.
, .
as your dear and confidential friend and entreat a favour of ,
Mr Fl e d g e b y 9 Always suppos i ng that you did I assert n o

.
knowledge of my own O II the subj ect it has been represented

”
to me that you did .
“
Then he tol d you 9 retorts Mrs La m m l e wh o again h a s .
,
saved her eyes while listening and uses them with strong ,
e ffect while speaking .
“ ”
Yes
.
It is strange that he Should have told you the truth ,
says Mrs La m m l e seriously pondering

. Pray where did
, .
a circumstance so very extraordinary happen ?

T wemlow hesitates He is shorter than the lady as well .
as weaker and as she stands above him with h e r h a r d e n e d

,
manner an d her well used eyes he finds himself at such a

,
-
,
disadvantage that he would l i ke to be of the opposite s e x .
“
May I ask where it happened Mr Twemlow 9 In strict ,
.
confidence 9
“
I must confess says the mild little gentleman comi ng
, ,
“
to his answer by degrees that I felt some compunctions ,
when Mr Fl e d ge b y mentioned it I must admit that I

. .
could not regard myself in an agreeable light More par .
t i c u l a r l y as Mr Fl e d g e b y did with great civility which I

,
.
, ,
coul d not feel that I deserved from him render me the same ,
”
Service that you had entreated him to render you .
’
It is a part of the true nobility of the poor gentleman s
“
soul to say this last sentence Otherwise he has reflecte d .
, ,
I shall assume the superior position of having no diffi culties

of my own while I know of hers Which would be mean
, . ,
”
very mean .
“
Was Mr Fl e d ge b y s advocacy as e ffectual in your case as
.
’
in ours ? Mrs La m m l e demands . .
”
As in e ffectual .
Can you make up you r mind to tell me where you saw

Mr Fl e d ge b y Mr T wemlow ?
.
,
.
”
does see it And you will do well for yourself to see it from
.
this time forth Mr Twemlow though I ca n give you no , .

,
pro of .
”
AS Sh e moves towards the door Mr Twemlow attending , .

,
On her expresses his soothing hope that the condition of

,
Mr La m m l e s affairs is n ot irretrievable
.
’
.
I don t know Mrs La m m l e answers stopping an d

’
,
”
.
, ,
ske tching out the patte rn of the paper on the wall with the
“
point of her parasol it depends There may be an opening .
for h i m dawning now or there may be none We shall soon ,

.
find out If none we are bankrupt here and mu st go abroad

.
, , ,
I suppose .
Mr Twemlow in his good natured desire to make the best

.
,
-
of it remarks that there are pleasant lives abroad

, .
Yes returns Mrs La m m l e still sketching on the wall

,
”
.
,
but I doubt whether billiard playing card playing and so -

,
-
,
forth for the means to live under suspicion at a dirty table

,
”
d h ote is one of them
’
,
.
It is much for Mr La m m le Twemlo w politely intimates .

,
(though greatly shocked ) to have one always beside h i m who

is attached to h i m in all his fortunes and wh ose restraining ,
influence will prevent him from courses that would be dis

creditable an d ruinous As he says it Mrs La m m l e leave s .
,
.
o ff sketching and looks at him ,

.
Restraining influence Mr Twemlow 9 We must eat and ,

.
drink and dress and have a roof over our heads Always
, ,
.
beside him and attached i n all his fortu nes 9 Not much to
bo ast of in that ; what can a woman at my age do ? My
husband and I deceived one another when we married ; we
mu st bear the consequences of the deception — that is to say ,
bear one another and bear the burden of scheming together ,
for to d ay s dinner and t o morrow s breakfast — till death

’
-
’
divorces us .
With those words she walks out into Duke Street Saint , ,
’
J ames s Mr Twemlow retu rning to his sofa lays down his
. .
,
aching head on its Slippery little horse hair bolster with a -

,
strong internal conviction that a painful interview is not

the kind of thing to be taken after the dinner pills which
are so highly salutary in connexion with the pleasures of
the table .
B ut six o clock in the evening finds the worthy little

’
gentleman getting better and also getting himself into his ,
obsolete little silk stockings and pumps for the wondering ,

FATH ER S OF THE LATE ST CHURCH 73 1
’ ’
d inner at the Veneerings And seven o clock in the evening .
finds him trotting out into Duke Street to trot to the corner
and save a Sixpence in coach hire -
.
Tippins the divine has dine d herself into su ch a condition

by this time that a morbid mind m ight d esire h er for a
, ,
blessed change to sup at last and turn into bed Such a

, , .
mind has Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n whom Twemlow finds con

.
,
te m p l a ti n g Tippins with the mo odiest of V is a ges while that ,
playful c reature rallies him on being so lo n g Ov erdue at the

woolsack Skittish is Tippins with Mortimer Lightwood too
.
,
and has raps to give him with her fan for having been best '
’
man at the nuptials of these deceiv i ng what s their names who - -
have gone to pieces Though indeed , the fan is ge n erally .

,
lively and taps away at the men in all directions with some
, ,
th i ng of a grisly sound suggestive of the clatteri n g of Lady

Ti ppi n s s bones ’
.
A new race of intimate friends has Spru n g up at Veneering s ’
S ince he went into Parliament for the public good to whom ,
M rs Ven eeri ng is very attentive These frien d s like astro

. .
,
n o m i c a l distances are only to be spoken of in the very

,
largest figures B oots says that one of them is a Contractor

.
who (it has been calculated ) gives employment directly and ,
indirectly to five hundred thousand men Brewer says that

,
.
another of them is a Chairman in such requ est at so many ,
Boards so far apart that he n ever travels less by railway

, ,
than three thousand miles a week Bu ffer says that another .
of them hadn t a Sixpence eighteen months ago a n d through

’
, ,
the brilliancy of his genius in getting those Shares issued at

eighty fiv e and buyin g them all up with no money and selling
-
,
them at par for cash has now three hundred a n d seventy fiv e ,

-
thousand pounds — Bu ffer particularly insisting on th e odd

seventy fiv e and declining to take a farthing less With
-
,
.
Buffer Boots and Brewer Lady Tippins is e m i n e n tl y fa c e ti ou s

, , ,
on the subj ect of these F athers of the Scrip Chu rch surv eying -
th em through her eye glass and inquiring whether Boots and -

,
Brewer and Buffer thin k they will make her fortune if she
makes love to them 9 with other pleasantries of that nat u re .
Veneering in his different way is much occupied with the

, ,
Fathers too piously retiring with them into the conservatory

, ,
“
from which retreat the word Committee is occasionally
heard and where the F athers instruct Veneering how he must
,
l eave the valley of the piano o n his left take th e level of ,
the mantel piece cross by an open cutting at the cand elabra ,

-
,
7 32 O UR MUT UAL F RI E ND
seize the ca r rying traffic at the console and c u t up the oppo ,
s i tio u root and branch at the window curtains .
Mr and Mrs Podsnap are of the company and the Fathers

. .
,
descry i n Mrs Podsnap a fine woman She is consigned to

a F ather —Boots s Father who employs five hu ndred thousand
. .
men — and is brought to anchor on Veneering s left ; thus '

’
a ffording opportunity to the sportive Tippins on h i s right

(he as usual being mere vacant Space) t o entreat to be told
, , ,
something about those loves of Navvies and whether they do ,
really live on raw beefsteaks and drink porter out of their ,
barrows Bu t in spite of such little skirmishes it is felt that

.
,
this was to be a wondering dinner and that the wondering ,
must not be neglected Accordingly Brewer as the man who .

, ,
has the greatest reputation to sustain becomes the i nterpreter ,
of the general instinct .
“
I took says Brewer in a favourable pause a cab this
,
”
mor n ing and I rattled off to that Sale

, .
”
Boots (devoured by envy) says , So did I .
Bu ffer says So did I but can find nobody to care

,
whether he did or not .
“
And what was it like 9 inquires Veneering .
”
I assure you replies Brewer looking about for a nybody
, ,
else to ad dress his answer to and giving the preference to ,

“
Lightwood I ass u re you the things were going for a song , .
Handso m e things enough b u t fetching nothing ,

.
So I heard this afternoon says Lightwood ,

”
.
Brewer begs to know now would it be fair to ask a pro

earth—these — people —ever — did
,
fe s s i o n a l man how — on
come — to—such —a — total smash 9 (Brewer s divisions being ’
for emphasis ) .
Lightwood replies that he was consu lted ce r tainly but ,
could give no opinion which would pay o ff the Bill of Sale ,
and therefore V iolates no confidence in supposing that it

came of their living beyond their means .
“ “
B ut how says Veneering CAN people do that
, ,
’
Hah That is felt on all hands to be a shot in the bull s
eye How C AN people do that
. The Analytical Chemist
going ro und with champagne looks very much as if h e could ,
give the m a pretty good idea how people d i d that if he had ,
a mind .
Ho w says Mrs Veneering laying down her fork to

,
‘
.
,
press her aquiline hands together at the tips of the fingers ,
and addressing the F ather who travels the three thousand

73 4 . O UR MUTUAL FRI E ND
sweeps these inconveniently unexplainable wretches who
have lived beyond their means and gone to total smash off
the face of the universe .
Eugene leaning back in his chair is observing Mr Po d

, , .
snap with a n irreverent face and may be about to o ffer ,
a n e w suggestion when the Analytical is beheld in collision

,
with the Coach m an ; the Coachman manifesting a purpose

of coming at the company with a silver salver as though ,
intent upon making a collection for his wife and family ; the
Analytical c u tting him o ff at the Sideboard The superior .
stateliness if not the superior generalship of the Analytical

, , ,
prevails over a man who is as nothing o ff the box and the

C oachm an yielding up his salver retires defeated
, , .
Then the Analytical perus ing a scrap of paper lying on ,
the salver with the air of a literary Censor adj usts it takes
, , ,
his time about going to the table with it and presents it to ,
Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n Whereupon the pleasant Tippins

. .
“
says aloud The Lord Chancellor has resigned
,
W ith distracting coolness and slown ess — for he knows the

cu riosity of the Charmer to be always devouring — Eugene
makes a pretence of getting out an eye glass polishing it -
, ,
and reading the paper with diffic u lty long after he has seen ,
what is written on it What is written on it in wet i nk is : .

,
”
Young Blight .
Waiting ? says Eugene over his Shoulder in confidence ,
with the Analytical .
“ ”
Waiting returns the Analytical in responsive c o n fi
, ,
dence .
“
E u gene looks Excuse me towards Mrs Veneeri ng goes , .
,
out and finds Young B light Mortimer s clerk at the hall

, ,
’
door .
Y o u told me to bring him sir to wherever you was if , , ,
he come while you was out and I was in says that discreet ,
”
“
young gentle m an standing on tiptoe to whisper ; and I ve
,
’
”
brought him .
“
Sharp boy Where is he 9 asks Eugene . .
’
He s in a cab Si r at the door I thought it best n o t to
, ,
.
S how him y o u see if it could be helped ; for he s a shaking

’
-
, ,
all over like — Blight s Simile is perhaps inspired by the

,
’
”
surrounding dishes of sweets like Glue Monge .
“ “
Sharp boy again returns Eugene I ll go to him , .
’
.
Goes out straightway and leisurely leaning his arms on , ,
the open window of a cab in waiting looks in at Mr Dolls ,

.
MR . D O LL S B RING S THE
'
DI REC TI O N 73 5
who has brought his own atmosphere with him and would ,
seem fr om its odour to have brought it for convenience of ,
carriage in a rum cask

,
-
.
Now Doll s wake up !

, ,
”
Mist W r a yb u r n ? Dr e c ti o n ! F ifteen Shill in gs !

After carefully reading the dingy scrap of paper handed to
him and as careful l y tucking it into his waistcoat pocket
E ugene tells out the money beginning incautiousl y by tell~
, ,
ing th e first shilling into Mr Dol l s s hand which instantly .

’
j erks it out of window ; and ending by telling the fifteen

shillings on the seat .
“
Give him a ride back to Charing Cross Sharp boy and , ,
there get rid of him .

”
Returning to the dining room an d pausing for an instant -
behind the screen at the door Eugene overhears above the , ,

“
hum and clatter the fair Tippins saying : I am dying to
,
ask him what he wa s called out for ! ”
“
Are you 9 mutters Eugene then perhaps if you can t ’
ask him you ll die So I ll be a benefactor to society and

,
’
.
’
go A stroll and a cigar and I can think this over Think

.
, .
”
this over .Thus , with a thoughtful face he finds his hat ,
and cloak unseen of the Analytical , a n d g oe s h i s

,
E ND O F BO O K III
BO O K THE FO URT H . A T URN I N G
C HA P T ER I
SE T TI NG TRAP S
P LASHW ATE R Weir Mill Lock looked tranquil and pretty on

an evening in the su mmer time A soft air stirred the leaves .
of th e fresh green trees and passed like a smooth shadow ,
over the river and like a smoother shadow over the yielding
,
grass The voice of the falling water like the voices of the
.
,
sea and the wind was an outer memory to a conte m plative

,
listene r ; but not particularly so t o Mr Riderhood who sat .

,
on one of the bl u nt wooden levers of his lock gates dozing -

,
.
Wine must be got into a but t by some agency before it can

be d rawn out : and the wine of sentiment never having been
got into Mr Riderhood by any agency nothing i n nature
.
,
tapped h i m .
As the Rogue sat ever and again nodding himself o ff his,
balance his recove r y was always attended by an ang r y stare

,
and growl as if in the absen c e of any one else he had

, , ,
aggressive inclinations towards himself I n one of these .
“
starts the cry of Lock ho ! Lock prevented his relapse ,
into a doze Shaking himself as he got up like the surly

.
,
brute he wa s he gave his growl a resp onsive twist at the

,
end and turned his face down stream to see wh o hailed

,
-
.
It was an a m ateur sculler well up to his work though ,
taking it easily in so light a boat that the Rogue remarked

,
“
A l i ttle less on you and you d a m o s t ha been a Wager ,
’ ’ ’
b ut ; then went to work at his W indlass han d les and

”
sluices to let the sculler in As the latter stood in h i s

,
.
boat holding on by the boat hook to the woodwork at the

,
-
lock side wai ting for the gates to open Rogue Riderhood
-
, ,
recognised his T other governor Mr E u gene W r a y b u r n

“ ’
,
”
.
who was however too indifferent or too much engaged to

, ,
recognise him .
The creaking lock gates opened Slowly and the light boat -
,
side In an indolent Way with hi s back I n that direction and
h a V I n g gathered a fe wblades fe l l to chewing them
, , ,
The dip , .
of Eugene W r a y b u I n S sculls had become hardly audible in

’
his ears when the bargem an passed him putting the utmost ,
width that he could b e tWee n them and k eeping under the ,
hedge Then Riderhoo d s a t up and took a long look at

his figure and then cried : R i —i —i ! Lock ho ! Lock !
.
“
, ,
P l a s h wa te r Weir Mill Look !

The bargeman stopped an d looked back
P l a s h wa te r Weir Mill Lock, T oth e r e s t gov— e r — nor —or
.
,
’
or — or cried Mr Ri d e i h ood with h is hands to his

. .
,
mouth .
The bargeman turned back roaching nearer an d .
nearer the bargeman became Bra

,
Headstone in rough ,
water Side second hand clothing .
“
Wish I may die said Riderhood Smiting his right leg
'
,
”
, ,
“
and laughing as he sat on the grass if yo u ain t ha been
, ,
’ ’
a imitating me T otherest governor Neve r thought myself

’
so good looking afore .
Truly Bradley Headstone had taken care ful note of the

,
honest man s dress I n the course of that night Walk they had
’
-
had together He must have committed it to me mory and

.
,
slowly got it by heart It was exactly reproduced in the .
d ress he n o w wore And whereas in his own schoolmaster .

,
clothes he usually looked as if they were the clothes of so m e

,
other man he now looked in the clothes of some other man

, , ,
or men as if they were his own

, .
“
Thi s y our Lock ? said Bradley whose surprise had a ”
,
genuine air ; they told me where I last inquired it was , ,

”
the third I should come to This is only the second . .
“
It s my belief governor returned Riderhood with a
’
, , ,
“
wink and Shake of his head that you ve dropped one in ,
’
’
your counting It ai n t Locks as you ve been giving your
.
’
”
mind to No n o ! .
,
As h e expressively j erked his pointing finger in the d i r e c

tion the boat had taken a flush of impatience mounted into ,
’
Bradley s face and he looked anxiously up the river,
.
“
It ain t Locks as you ve been a reckoning up
’
said ’
-
,
’
Riderhood when the schoolmaster s eyes came back again
,
.
No no !
,
”
What other calculations do yo u suppose I have been

occupied with 9 Mathematics ?
“ ’
I never h e e r d it called that It s a lo n g word for it . .
C H O RU S To THE T O THE RE ST !
’
739
Hows ’
eve r, p
’
r a ps you call it so ,
said Riderhood stubbornly ,
chewing h i s grass .
“ ”
It What ? .
“
I ll say them instead of it if you like was the coolly
’ ‘
, , ,
“ ”
growled reply It s s afer talk too.
’
.
What do you mean that I Should u nd erstand by them 9

Spites affronts o ffences giv and took d eadly a ggr a wa
, ,
’
tions s uch like answered Riderhood

, ,
”
.
Do what Bradley Headstone would he could n o t keep ,
that former flush of impatience out of his face or so master h i s ,
eyes as to prevent their again looking anxiously u p th e river .
“
Ha ha ! Don t be a fe e r d T o th e r e s t said Riderhood ’
,
’
,
”
.
The T other s got to make way agin the Stream and h e

’ ’
,
takes it easy You can soon come up with him But wot s
. .
’
the good of saying that to you ! You know h ow fur you

could have outwalked him betwixt anywheres about wh ere
he lost the tide — say Ri c h m on d a n d this if you h ad had fl
a mind to it .
”
You think I have been foll owi n g him 9 s aid Bradley .
I KN O W you have said Riderhood , .
Well ! I have I have Bradley admitted But with

, ,
”
.
,
“
another anxious look up the riv er he may land , .
“
Easy y o u ! He won t be lost if he does lan d said ’
,
“
Riderhood He must leave his boat behind him He
. .
’
c an t make a bundle or a parcel on it a n d carry it ashore
,
with him under his arm .

”
He was speaking to you ju st now said Bradley k neeling , ,

“
on one knee on the grass beside the Lock keeper Wh at -
.
d i d he say 9
Cheek said Riderhood , .
What 9
"
Cheek repeated Riderhood with an angry oath
, cheek ,
i s what he said He can t say nothing bu t cheek I d h a

.
’
.
’ ’
liked to plump down aboard of him neck and crop with , ,
a heavy jump and sunk him ,

.
”
Bradley turned away his h aggard face for a few m oments ,
and then said tearing u p a tuft of grass

,
Damn him
Ho o r o a r cried Riderhoo d Does you credit Hoor oa r ! . .
I cry chorus to the To th e r e s t ’

.
“ ’
What turn said Bra d ley with an effort at self repression
, ,
-
that forced him to wipe his face “ did his insolen ce take ,
to d ay 9
It took the turn answered Riderhood with sullen , ,

“
ferocity of hop i ng as I was getting ready to be hanged
, .
“
L et him look to that cried Bradley Let him l ook to ,
”
.
that It will be bad for h i m w h e n men he has inj ured and ,
at whom he has j eered are thinking of getting hanged Let , .
h i m g e t ready for h i s fate when that comes about There , .
was more mean i ng in what he said than he knew of or he ,

’
wouldn t have had brains enough to say it Let him look to .
it let him look to i t ! 1 When men he has wronged and on

.
,
whom he has bestowed his insolence are getting ready to be ,
hanged there is a death bell ringing And not for them

, ,
-
. .
Riderhood looking fixedly at him gradually arose from

, ,
his recumbent posture W hile the s choolmaster said these

words with the utmost concentration of rage and hatred .
So when the words were all spoken h e too kneeled on one

, ,
knee on the grass and the two men looked at one a nother
,
.
“ ”
Oh ! said Riderhood ver y deliberately spitting out the ,
grass he had been chewing Then I make out, To th e r e s t .

’
as he is a going to her 9 -
He left London answered Bradley yesterday I have ,

”
,
.
hardly a doubt this time that at last he is going to her

, , .
“
“
You ain t sure then 9 ’
,
”
I am a s sure here said Bradley with a clutch at the , ,
“
breast of his coarse shirt as if it was written there with ,
a blow or a stab at the sky .
‘
Ah But judging from the looks on you retorted ,
Riderhood completely rid ding himself of his grass and

, ,
“
d rawing his sleeve across his mouth you ve made e k a l ly ,
’
sure afore and have got d i s a p i n te d

,
It has told upon .
Listen said Bradley in a low voice bending forward to

, , ,
’
lay his hand upon the Lock keeper s shoulder These are -
.
”
my holidays .
Are they by G e orge ! muttered Riderhood with his

,
”
,
“
eyes on th e passion wasted face Your working days must
-
.
-
”
be sti ff uns if these is your holidays
’
,
.
“
And I have never left h i m pursued Bradley wavi n g ,
”
,
“
the interruption aside with an impatient hand since they ,
began And I never will leave him now till I h ave seen
.
,
him with her .
“
And when you have seen him with her 9 said Riderhood .
-
I ll come back to you
’
.
Riderhood stiffened the knee on whi ch he had been resting ,

7 42 OU R MUTU A L FRIEND
laid upon the dagger as he passed it and his eyes upon the ,
boat were much upon a par

,
.
The boat went on un der the arching trees an d over their

, ,
tranquil shadows in the water The bargeman skulking on .

,
the opposite bank of the stream went on after it Sparkles ,

.
of light showed Riderhood when and where the rower dipped

his blades unt i l even as he stood idly watching the sun
, , ,
went down and the landscape was dyed red And then the .
red had the appearan ce of fading out of it and mounting up

to Heaven as we say that blood guiltily shed does
, , , .
T u rning back towards his Lock (he had not gone out of
view of i t) the R ogue p ondered as d eeply as it was within
,
“
the contracted power of such a fellow to do Why did .
he copy my clothes ? He could have looked l i ke what he

wanted to look like with out that ,
This was the subj ect .
”
matter in his thoughts in which too there came lumbering ,
up by times like any half flo a ti n g and half sinking rubbish

, ,
- -
in the river the question Was it done by accident ? The

, ,
setting of a trap for finding out whether it was accidentally

d one soon superseded as a practical piece of cunning the
, , ,
abstruser inquiry why otherwise it was done And h .
devised a means .
Rogue Riderhoo d went into h is Lock house and brought -

,
forth into the now sober grey light his chest of clothes
, ,
.
Sitting on the grass beside it he turned out one by one the , ,
articles it contained u nt i l he came to a conspicuous bri ght

,
red neckerchief stai ned black here and there by wear It .
arrested his attention and he sat pausing over it until he

, ,
too k o ff the r u sty colourless wi sp that he wore round his

throat and substituted the red neckerchief leaving th e long
, ,
“
ends flowing Now said the Rogue if arter he sees me
.
,
”
in this n e c k h a n k e c h e r I see h im in a s i m l a r n e c k h a n k e c h e r
,
’
,
”
it won t be accident !
’
Elated by his device he carried his ,
chest in again and went to supper .
“
Lock ho ! Lock It was a light night and a barge ,
c oming down s u mmoned him out of a long doze In due .
course he had let the barge through and wa s alone again ,
looki ng to the closing of his gates when Bradley Head ,
stone appeared before h i m standing on the brink of the ,
L ock .
Halloa said Riderhood Back a ready T o th e r e s t 9

.
’
,
’
He has put up for the night at an Angler s Inn wa s ,

’
,
”
“
the fatigu ed and hoarse reply He goes on up the river .
, ,
B RA DLEY H EAD S TO N E IN A D AR K M OO D 7 43
at six in the morning I have come back fo r a couple of .
’ ”
hours rest .
“
You want em said Riderhood making t owards the ’
, ,
s choolmaster b y his plank bridge .
“ “
I don t want them returned Bradley irritably, because
’
, ,
I would rather not have them bu t would mu ch refer to ,
follow him all night However if he won t lead I can t .

,
’
,
’
follow I have been waiting about until I could d i scover

.
, ,
for a certainty at what time he starts ; if I coul d nt have

,
’
made sure of it I should have stayed there —This w ou ld be

,
a bad pit fo r a m a n to be flung into with his hand s tied .
These slippery smooth walls would give him no chance .
And I suppose those gates would suck him down ? ”

“
Suck him down or s wa ll e r him up he wouldn t get , ,
’
“
o ut said Riderhood Not even if his hands warn t tie d ’ ’
.
, ,
he wouldn t Shut him in at both ends and I d give h im a

’
.
,
’
pint 0 old ale ever to co m e up to me standing here

’
.
”
“
Bradley looked down with a ghastly relish You ru n .
about the bri n k and run across it in this uncertain light on

, , ,
a fe w inches width of rotten wood said he ’ “

I won d er , .
you have no thought of being d rowned ,

.
“
I can t be said Riderhood
’
.
’
Y ou can t be drowned 9
”
No ! said Riderhoo d sha king his head with an air of ,
’
thorough con v iction it s well known I have been brought , .
’
o u t o drowning and I can t be drowned I wouldn t have
’ ’
.
,
that there busted B l owb r i d g e r aware on it or her people ’
might make it tell agin the damages I mean to get But it s .

’
well known to water side characters l i ke myself that him as -

,
has been brought out o drowning can never be drowned ’

.
”
Bradley smiled sourly at the ign orance he would have

corrected in one of his pupils and continued to look down ,
i nto the water as if the place had a gloomy fascination for

,
him .
“
You seem to like it said Riderhood ,
.
He took no notice but stood looking down a s if h e had , ,
not heard the words There was a very dark expression on .
his face ; an expression that the Rogue found it hard to

u nderstand It was fierce and full of purpose ; but the
.
,
purpose might have been as much against himself as against

another If he had stepped back for a Spring ta ken a leap
.
, ,
and thrown himself in it would have been no surprising ,
sequel to the look Perhaps his troubled soul set upon .

,
some violen ce did hover for th e moment between that

,
violence and another .
‘ ’ ”
Didn t you say asked Riderhood after watching him
, ,
“
for a while with a sidelong glance as you h a d come back ,
’
for a couple 0 hou rs rest ? ’
But even then he had to j og
h i m with his elbow befo re he answered .
Eh 9 Yes .
’
Had n t you better come in and take you r couple 0 hours ’ ’
r est 9
Thank you Yes . .
With the l ook of one j ust awakened he foll owed Riderhood ,
into the Lock house wh ere the latter produced from a cup
-
board some cold salt beef and half a loaf some gin in a bottle , ,
and some water i n a j ug The last he brought in cool an d .

,
dripping from the river

, .
“
There To th e r e s t said Riderhood stooping over him to
,
’
,
”
,
“
put it on the table You d better take a bite and a sup
.
’
afore you take s your snooze The dragging ends of the red .
n eckerchief caught the schoolmaster s eyes Riderhood saw ’

.
him look at it .
“ ” ’
Oh ! thought that worthy You re a taking notice .
-
,
are you Come You shall have a good squint at it then .

”
With which reflection he sat down on the other side of the

table threw open his vest and made a pretence of r e tying
, ,
-
the neckerchief with mu ch deliberation .
Bradley ate and drank As h e sat at his platte r and mug .

,
Riderhood saw him again and again steal a look at the , , '
neckerchief as if he were correcting his slow ob se rv a ti o n a n d

,
“ ’
prompting his sluggish memory When you re ready for .
your snooze said the h onest cre ature chuck yourself on

,
” “
,
my bed in the corner T oth e r e s t It ll be broad day afore ,

’
.
’
’ ”
three I ll call you early
. .
“
I shall require no calling answered Bradley And soon ,
.
afterwards divesting himself only of h i s shoes and coat laid

, ,
himself down .
Riderhood leaning back in his wooden arm ch air with his

,
-
'
a r ms folded on his breast looked at him lying wi th h i s right ,
hand clenched in his sleep and his teeth set un til a film ,
came over his own sight and he slept too He awoke to ,

.
find that it was daylight and that h i s visitor was already ,
astir and going out to the river side to cool his head
,
-
“
Though I m blest muttered Riderhood at the Lock house
’
,
”
-
“ ’
door looking after him, if I think there s water enough in
,
Lie do wn now then said Riderhood , , .
’
I will if you ll give me something to quench my thirs t
first .
The bottle and j ug were again produced an d b e mixed ,
a weak draught and another and drank both in quick , ,
s u ccession You asked me something he said then

.
,
”
.
No I did n t, repli ed Riderhood

,
’ ”
.
”
I tell you retorted Bradley turning upon him I n a wild
, ,
‘
and desperate manner you asked me something before I , ,
went out to wash my face I n the river .

’
“
Oh ! Then ? said Riderhood backing a little
”
,
.
asked you wot you wos a go ing to do .
“
How can a man in this state know 9 he answered pro ,
testing with both his tremulous hands with an action so ,
vigorously ang r y that he shook the water from his sleeve s

upon the floor as if he had wrung them ,
How can I plan .
’
anything if I haven t sleep 9
,
Why that s what I as goo d as said returned the other

,
’
, .
Didn t I say lie down 9

’
“
Well perhaps you did
,
.
Well ! Any ways I says it again Sleep where you slept .
last the sounder and longer you can sleep the better you l l ,
’
kno w a r te r wa r d s what you re up to ’

.
”
His pointing to the truckle bed in the corner seemed

gradually to bring that poor couch to Bradley s wandering ’
remembrance He slipped off his worn down trodden shoes

.
-
,
and cast himself heavily all wet as he was upon the bed , , .
Riderhood sat down in his wooden arm chai r and looked -

,
through the windo w at the lightning and listened to the ,
thunder B ut his thoughts were far from bei n g absorbed

.
by the thunder and the lightning for again and again and ,
again he looked very curiously at the exhausted man upon

the bed The man had turned up the collar of the rough
.
coat he wore to shelter himself from the storm and had

, ,
buttoned it about his neck Unconscious of that and of .

,
most things he had left the coat so both when he had

, ,
laved his face in the river and when he had cast himself ,
upon the bed ; though it would have been mu ch easier to

him if he had loosened it .
The thunder rolled heavily and the forked lightning ,
seemed to make j agged rents in every part of the vast

curtain without as Riderhood sat by the window glancing
, ,
at the bed Sometimes he saw the man upon the bed by

.
IN THE L O C K K EE P ER S
-
’
HO U SE
The draggling ends of a bright red neckerchief were then

dis closed and he had even been at the pains of dippin g
,
parts of it in some liquid to give it the appearance o f

,
having become stained by wear Wit h a much perplexed

.
-
face Riderhood looked from it to the sleeper and from the

, ,
sleeper to it and finally crept back to his chair and there

, , ,
wit h his hand to his chin s a t long in a brown study look

, ,
ing at both .
C HAP T ER II
THE G O LDEN DUSTM AN RISES A LITTL E
M R a n d Mrs La m m l e had come to breakfast with Mr and

. . .
Mrs Boffin They were not absolutely uninvited but h a d

. .
,
pressed themselves with so much urgency on the golden .
couple that evasio n of the honour an d pleasure of their

,
company would have been di ffi cult if desi red They were , .
in a charming state of mind were Mr and Mrs La m m le , . .

,
and almost as fond of Mr and Mrs Bo ffin as of one another . . .
“
My dear Mrs Bo ffin said Mrs La m m l e it imparts
.
,
”
.
,
new life to me to s ee my Alfred in confidential communi

cation with Mr Bofli n The tw o were formed to becom e
,
. .
intim ate So much simp l icity combined with so much force

.
of character such natural sagacity united to such amiability

,
and gentleness — those are the distinguishing characteristics

”
of both .
This being said aloud gave Mr La m m le an opportunity ,

.
,
as he ca me with Mr Boffin from the window to the break .
fast table of taki ng up his dear and honoured wife

, .
“ “
My Sophronia said that gentleman your too partial, ,
estimate of your poor husband s character ’
No ! Not too partial Alfred , urged the l ady tenderly ”
,
“
moved never say that .
My child your favou rable opinion then of your husband

, , ,
’
you don t obj ect to that phrase darling ? ,
How can I Alfred 9 ,
Your favourable opinion then my Precious does less , , ,
than j ustice to Mr Boffi n and more than j ustice to me .

, .
“
To the first charge Alfred I plead guilty But to the , , .
second oh no no !
, ,
”
“
Less than j ustice to Mr Boffin Sophronia said Mr .
, , .
La m m l e soaring into a tone of moral grandeu r

,
“
because it ,
represents Mr Boffin as on my lower level ; more tha n

.
j ustice to me Sophronia because it represents me as o n

, ,
75 2 O UR MU T U A L FRIEND
Mr Bo ffin s higher level Mr Bo ffin bears and forbears far

.
’
. .
more than I could .
“
F ar more than you could for yourself Alfred 9 ,
”
My love that is not the question

, .
”
Not the question L awyer 9 said Mrs La m m l e archly .
NO dear Sophronia F rom my lower level I regard

.
, ,
.
, ,
Mr Boffin as too generou s as possessed of too much

.
,
clemency as being too good to persons who are unworthy

,
of him and ungrateful to him To those noble qualities .
I can lay no claim On the contrary they rouse my i n .

,
dignation when I see them in action .

”
“
Alfred !
They rouse my indignation my dear against the u n , ,
worthy persons and give me a combative desire to stand

,
between Mr Bo ffin and all su ch persons Why 9 Because

. .
in my lowe r nature I am more worldly and less delicate .
Not being so magnanimous as Mr Bo ffi n I feel his inj uries .

,
more than he does himself and feel more capable of opposing ,

”
his inj urers .
It struck Mrs La m m l e that it appeared rather difficult

.
this morning to bring Mr and Mrs Bofli n into agreeable . .
conversation Here had been several lures thrown out and

.
,
neither of the m had uttered a word Here were she Mrs .

, .
La m m l e and her husband discoursing at once affectingly

,
and e ffectively but discoursing alone Assuming that the

, .
dear old creatures were impressed by what they heard still ,
one would like to be sure of it the more so as at least one , ,
of the dear old creatures was some what pointedly referred

to. If the dear old creatures were too bashful or too
dull to assu m e thei r required places in the discussion why ,
then it would see m desirable that the dear old creatures

should be taken by their heads an d shoulders a n d brought .
into it .
“
But is not my husband saying in e ffe ct asked Mrs , .
La m m le therefore with an innocent air of Mr and Mrs

, , , . .
“
Boffin that he becomes unmindful of his own temporary
,
misfortunes in his admiration of another whom he is burn

ing to ser ve 9 And is not that making an admission that
-
his nature is a generous one 9 I am wretched in argument ,
but surely this is so dear Mr and Mrs B offin 9 ,

. .
Still ne i th e r Mr nor Mrs Boffin said a word He sat

, . . .
with his eyes on his plate eat ing his mu ffins a n d ham ,
-
,
and she sat shyly l ooking at the teapot Mrs La m m l e s . .

’
7 54 O UR MU TU A L F RIEND
Mrs La m m l e turned to him l aughingly

. The Court
O bj ects 9
'
“
Ma am said Mr Bo fli n
’
, the Court (if I am the Court) .

,
does obj ect The Court obj ects for two reasons F irst
. .
,
’
because the Court don t think it fair Secondly because the .
,
dear old lady Mrs Court (if I am Mr ) gets distressed by it

,
. . .
”
A very remarkable wavering between two bearings

between her propitiato r y bearing there and her defiant
bearing at Mr Twe m l ow s —was observable on the part of
,
’
. .
“
Mrs La m m le as she said : What does the Court not con
.
s ider fair 9
“
Letting you go on replied Mr Boffin nodding his , .
,
head soothingly as who should say We won t be harder on , ,

’
you than we can help ; we ll make the best of it It s ’

.
’
not above board and it s not fair

-
When the O l d lady is ’
.
uncomfo r table there s sure to be goo d reason for it I see

,
’
.
she is uncomfortable and I plainly see this is the good reason ,
wherefore Ha ve y o u brea k faste d ma am 9

.
,
’
Mrs La m m l e settling into her defiant manner pu shed

.
, ,
her plate away looked at her husband and laughed but by

, ,
no means gaily .
Have y ou breakfasted sir ? inqu ired Mr Bo th u , . .
”
Thank you replied Alfred showin g all his teeth
, ,
.
Mrs Bo ffin will oblige me I ll ta ke another cup of tea

.
,
’
.
He spilled a little of it over the chest whi ch ought to

have been so e ffective and which had done so little ; but ,
On the whole drank it with something of an a i r though ,
the co m ing and going dints got almost as large the while , ,
“
as if they had bee n made by pressure of the teaspoon A .
“ ”
thousand thanks he then observed I have breakfasted . .
Now which said Mr Boffin softly taking out a pocket

, ,
.
,
“
book ,
which of you two is Cashier ?
Sophronia my dear remarked her husband as he leaned
, ,
”
,
back i n his chair waving his right han d towards her w hile , ,
he hung his left hand by the thu mb in the arm hole of his -
“
waistcoat it shall be your department .
I would rather said Mr Bo fii n that it was your hus , .

,
band s ma am becau se —but n ever mind because I would

_
’ ’
.
, ,
rather have to do with him However what I have to say .

, ,
I wil l say with as little offence as possible : if I can say it

without any I Shall be heartily glad You two have d one
, .
me a service a very great service i n doing what you did

, ,
(my O l d lady knows what it was) and I have put into this ,
’
IT W O N T DO 75 5
envelope a b a nk note for a hu ndred pound I cons i der the .
service well worth a hundred pou nd and I am well pleased ,
to pay the money Would you do me the favour to take it .

,
and likewise to accept my thanks 9

With a haughty action and without looking towards h i m , ,
Mrs La m m l e held out her left hand a n d into it Mr Bo ffin

.
, .
put the little packet When she had conveyed it to her .
bosom Mr La m m l e had the appearance of feeling relieve d

, .
,
and breathing more freely as not having been quite certain ,
that the hundred pounds were his until the note had been ,
safely transferred out of Mr B offin s keeping into h i s own .

’
Sophronia s ’
.
It is n o t impossible said Mr Boffin addressing Alfred ,

.
, ,
that you have had some general idea sir of replacing , ,
Ro k e s m i th in course of time ? ,
“
It is not assented A l fred with a glittering smile and a
,
”
,
“ ”
great deal of nose not impossible ,
.
“
And perhaps ma am pursued Mr Boffin addressing ,
’
,
”
.
,
“
Sophronia you have been SO kind as to take up my old
,
lady in your own mind and to do her the honou r of turni n g ,
the question over w h ether you mightn t one of these days ’
have her in charge like ? Whether y o u mightn t be a sort ,

’
of Miss Bella Wilfer to her and something more 9

I Should hope returned Mr s La m m l e with a scornful
,
”
.
, ,
“
look and in a loud voice that if I were anything to your ,
wife sir I could hardly fail to be something more than

, ,
Miss Bella Wilfer as you call her , .
“
W hat do y ou call her ma am 9 asked Mr Bo ffin ,
’
. .
Mrs La m m l e disdained to reply an d sat defiantly beati n g

.
,
one foo t on the grou nd .
“
Again I think I may say that s not impossible Is it ,
’
.
,
sir ? asked Mr Bo ffin turning to Alfred .

, .
“
It is not said Alfred smiling assent as before
,
”
, ,
impossible .
“ “
Now said Mr Bo ffin gently
” ’
, it won t do I don t .
, ,
’
.
wish to say a single word that might be afterwards remem

bered as unpleasant but it won t do ’
.
Sophronia my love her husband repeated in a banteri n g

, ,
”
“ ”
manner you hear ? It won t do ’
.
NO said Mr Bo ffin with his voice still dropped it

,
“ ” “
, .
, ,
really won t You positively must excuse us If you ll go

’
. .
’
your way we ll go ours and so I hope this affair ends to

,
’
the satisfaction of all parties .

75 6 OUR MUTU A L FRIE ND
Mrs La m m l e gave him a look of a decidedly dissatisfied

.
party de manding exemption from the category ; but sai d

nothing .
“
The best thing we can make of the affair said Mr .
,
.
“
B offin is a matter of business and as a m a tte r of business
, , '
it s brought to a conclusion
’
You have done me a great .
service a very great service and I have paid yo u for it Is

, ,
.
there any O bj ection to the price 9

Mr and Mrs La m m l e looked at one another across the
. .
table but neither could say that there was Mr La m m l e

,
. .
Shr u gged his shoulders and Mrs La m m le sat rigid , . .
“ “
Very good said Mr Bo ffin We hope (my Ol d lady
,
”
. .
and me) that you ll gi ve us credit for taking the plainest and’
honestes t sh or t cut that could be taken under the circum

-
stances We have talked it over with a deal of care (my old

.
lady and me) and we have felt that at all to lead you on or
, ,
even at all to let you go O l l of your own selves wouldn t be -

‘
,
’
the right thing So I have openly given you to understand

.
that Mr Bo ff m sought for a n e w turn of Speech but

.
,
could fin d none so expressive as his former one repeated in a ,
confidential tone —that it won t do If I could have put

,
’
.
the case more pleasantly I would but I h Ope I haven t put ’
’
it very unpleasantly ; at all events I haven t meant to SO ’
.
,
said Mr B offi n by way of pe roration

. wishing you well in
, ,
the way you go we now conclude with the observation that

,
”
perhaps you ll go it ’
.
Mr La m m l e rose with an impu dent laugh on his side of

.
the table and Mrs La m m l e rose with a disdainfu l frown on

,
.
hers At this mo m ent a hasty foot was heard on the

.
staircase and Georgiana Podsnap broke into the room

, ,
unannounced and in tears .
“
Oh my dear Sophronia cried Georgiana wringing her
, , ,
“
hands a s she ran up to embrace her, to think that you and
Alfred shoul d be ruined ! Oh my poor d ear Sophronia to , ,
think th at you S hould have had a Sale at your hous e after

all your kindness to me ! Oh Mr and Mrs Boffin pray ,
. .
,
’
fo rgive me for this intrusion but you don t know how fond ,
I was of Sophronia when Pa wouldn t let me go there any ’
more or what I have felt for Sophronia since I heard from

,
Ma of her having been brought l ow in the world You .
don t you can t y o u never can think how I have lain

,
’
, , ,
awake at night and cried for my good Sophronia m y first ,
and only friend ! ”

'
a lways treats me as if I was in the nursery (I am sure I

wish I was but I hardly ever Spend it and it has mounte d ,
up to fifteen pounds Sophronia and I hope three fiv e pound , ,

-
notes are better than nothing though so littl e SO littl e ! ,
An d now I have found that — oh my goodness ! there s the ,

’
other gone next Oh no it isn t here it is ,

’
With that always sobbing and searching in the reticule

, ,
Georgiana produced a necklace .
“
Ma says chits and j ewels have no business together ,
“
pursued Georgiana and that s the reason why I have no ,
’
t rinkets except this but I suppose my aunt Hawkinson was

of a different opinion because Sh e l eft me this though I , ,
’
used to think she might j ust as well have buried it for it s ,
always kept in j eweller s cotton However here it is I am ’

.
, ,
’
thankful to say and of u se at last and you l l sell it dear
, , ,
”
Sophronia , and buy things with it .
Give it to me said Mr Bo ffin gently taking it ,

”
.
,
.
”
see that it s properly disposed of
’
.
Oh are you such a friend of Sophronia s Mr Bo ffin 9 ’
,
.
“
cried Georgiana Oh h ow good of you Oh my gracious
.
, ,
there was something else and it s gone ou t of my head ! ,

’
’
Oh no it isn t I remember what it was My grandmamma s
,
’
, .
property that ll come to me wh en I am of age Mr Boffin

,
’
, .
,
will be all my own an d neither Pa nor Ma nor anybody ,
else wil l have any control over it a n d what I wish to d o is ,
to make some of it over somehow to Sophronia and Alfred ,
by Signing something somewhere that ll prevail on somebody ’
to advance them something I want them t o have something

handsome to bring them up in the w
.
orld again Oh my .
,
’
goo dness me ! Being su ch a friend of my dear Sophronia s,
’
you won t refuse me will you 9 ,
“
No n o said Mr Boffin it Shall be seen to
, ,
”
.
,
.
O h thank you thank you

,
cried Georgiana If my ,
.
maid had a l ittle note an d half a crown I could ru n round ,
to the pastrycook s to Sign something or I could sign some

’
thing i n the square if somebody would come and cough for

me to let em in with the key and would bring a pen an d
’
ink with em and a bit of blotting paper Oh my gracious

’
-
.
,
I must tear m y self away or Pa and Ma will both fi n d out !

,
Dear dear Sophronia good good bye !

, , ,
-
”
The credulous little creature again embraced Mrs La m m l e .
most affectionately and then held out h e r hand to Mr ,

.
La m m l e .
SE NTIM E NT AL
759
Good bye dear Mr La m m l e — I mean Alfred You won t
-
,
. .
’
think after to d ay that I have deserted you and Sophronia

because you have been brought low in the world wi ll you 9 ,
Oh me ! oh me ! I have been crying my eyes out of my

’
head and Ma will be sure to ask me what s the matter Oh
,
.
,
”
take me down somebody please please please ! , , , ,
Mr Bofii n took her down an d saw her driven away with

.
, ,
her poor little red eyes and weak chin peering over the great
apron of the custard coloured phaeton as if she had been -
,
ordered to expiate some childish misdemeanour by going to

bed in the daylight and were peeping over the counterpan e in ,
a miserable flutter of repentance and l ow Spirits Returning .
to the breakfast room he fo u nd Mrs La m m l e still standing

-
, .
on her side of the table and Mr La m m le on his side ,

. .
“
I ll tak e care said Mr Bofli n showing the money and
’
, .
,
“
the necklace that these are soon given back
,
.
Mrs La m m l e had taken u p her parasol from a side table

“
.
,
and stood sketching with it on the pattern of the damask

cloth as she had sketched on the pattern of Mr Twe m l o w s
,
.
’
papered wall .
You will n ot undeceive her I hope Mr Bo ffin ? Sh e , ,

.
”
said turning h e r head towards h im but not her eyes

, ,
.
No said Mr Bo ffin
,
”
. .
I mean as to the wo rth and value of her friend Mrs

, ,
.
La m m l e explained in a measu red voice and with an emphasis , ,
on her last word .
No he return ed ,
”
I may try to give a hint at her home .
that Sh e is in want of kind an d careful protectio n but I ,
shal l say no more than that to her parents and I Shall say ,
nothing to the young lady herse l f .

”
“
Mr and Mrs Bo ffin said Mrs La m m l e still Sketching
. .
, .
, ,
“
and seeming to bestow great pains upon it there are not ,
many people I think who under the circumstances would

, , , ,
have been SO considerate and sparing as y ou have been to

me j ust now Do you care to be thanked 9
.
“ ”
Thank s are always worth having said Mrs Bo ffin in ,
.
,
her ready good nature .
Then thank you both .
Sophronia asked her husband mockingly ,

are you , ,
sentimental 9
“ “
Well well my good Si r Mr Bo ffin interposed
, ,
it s , .
,
’
a very good thing to think well of another person and ,

’
it s a very good thing to be thought well of by another
7 6 0 O UR MUTU A L F RIEND
person Mrs La m m l e will be none the worse for it if

. .
,
she is .
“
Much O bliged But I asked Mrs La m m l e if she was
. . .
She stoo d sketching on the table cloth with her face -
clouded and set and was S ilent ,

.
“ “ ”
Because said Alfred I a m disposed to be sentimental
, ,
myself on your appropriation of the j ewels and the money

, ,
Mr Boffin As our little Georgiana said three fiv e pound

. .
,
-
notes are better than nothing and if you sell a necklace you ,
can buy things with the pro du ce .
“ ”
If you sell it was Mr B o ffi n s comment as he put it in
’
.
, ,
his pocket .
Alfred followed it with his looks and also greedily pursued ,
the notes until they vanished into Mr Bo ffin s wais tcoat .

’
pocket Then he directed a look half exasperating and half

.
,
j eering at his wife She still stood Sketching ; but as she

,
.
,
sketched there was a str u ggle within her which found ex

, ,
pression in the depth of the few last lines of the paraso l

point indented into the table cloth and then some tears fell -
,
from her eyes .
“ “
Why confound the woman exclaimed La m m l e she i s
, , ,
sentimental
She walked to the window flin c h i n g under his angry stare , ,
looked out for a mo m ent and turned rou n d quite coldly , .
“
You have had no former cause of complaint on th e
sentimental score Alfred and you will have none i n future
, ,
.
It is not worth your noticing We go abroad soon with the .

,
money we have earned here 9

“
You know we do you know we must .
There is no fear of my taking any sentiment with

me I should soon be eased of it if I did But it will
.
,
.
be all left behind It i s all left behin d Are you ready. .

,
Alfred 9
“
What the deuce have I been waiting for b u t you ,
Sophronia 9
Let us go then I a m sorry I have delayed our dig n ified
.
departure .
She passed out and he followed her Mr and Mrs Bo ffin . . .
had the curiosity softly to raise a window and l ook after

the m as they went down the long street They walked arm .
in arm showily enough but without appearing to interchange

, ,
a syllable It might have been fanc i fu l to suppose that und er

.
their outer bearing there was something of the shamed air

C HAP T ER I II
THE GO L DEN DUST MAN INKS AG AIN

S
THE evening of that day being one of the reading evenings

at the Bower Mr Bo ffin kissed Mrs Bo ffi n after a fiv e o clock
, . .
-
’
d inner and trotted out nursing his big stick in both arms
, , ,
so that as of old it seemed to be whispering in his ear He

, , .
carried so very attentive an expressio n on his cou ntenance

that it appeared as if the confidential discourse of the big
stick requ ired to be followed closely Mr Bo ffin s face . .
’
was like the face of a thoughtful listener to an intricate

communication and in trotting along he occasionally
, , ,
glanced at that companion with the look of a man who was

“
interposing the remark You don t mean it ! ,
’
Mr Bo ffin and his stick went on alone together until they

.
,
arrived at certain cross ways where they would be likely to -
fall in with any o ne coming at about the same time from , ,
Clerkenwell to the Bower Here they s topped and Mr Boffin .

, .
consulted his watch .
“ ’
It wants five minutes good to Venus s appointment , , ,
“
said he I m rather early
.
’
.
But Venus was a punctual man and even as Mr Bo ffin , , .
replaced his watch in its pocket was to be descried coming

towards him He quickened his pace on seeing Mr Bo ffin
. .
already at the place of meeting and was so on at his side ,

.
Thank ee Venus said Mr Bo ffin

’
, ,
”
Thank ee thank ee . .
’
,
’
thank ee ’
It would not have been very evident why he thanked the

anatomist but for his furnishing the explanation in what he
,
went on to say .
“ ’
All right Venus all right Now that you ve been to
, ,
.
,
see me and have consented to keep up the appearance before

,
W e g g of remaining in it for a time I have got a sort of ,

’
’
a backer All right Venus Thank ee Venus Thank ee
.
,
.
,
.
,
’ ”
thank ee thank ee !
’
,
V ENU S W ILL STAND BY MR . B O FF IN 6
7 3
Mr Venus shook the pro ffered hand with a modest air
.
,
and they pursued the direction of the Bower .
Do you think W e gg is likely to drop down upon me

to night Venus 9 inquired Mr Bo fli n wistfully as they
-
,
”
.
, ,
went along .
“ ”
I think he is sir ,
.
‘
Have y o u any particular reason for thinking so ,
Venus 9
“ “
Well sir returned that personage the fact is h e has
, , , ,
given me another look i n to make sure of what h e calls our -

,
stock i n trade being correct and he has mentioned his i n te n

- -
,
tio n that he was not to be put O ff beginning with you the very
next time you should come An d this hinted Mr Venus .
,
”
.
,
“
delicately being the very next time you know sir
—Why therefore you suppose he ll turn to at the grind
, , ,
’
, ,
stone eh Venus ? said Mr Bo ffin

, ,
”
. .
“
Just so sir ,
.
”
Mr Bo ffin took his nose in his han d as if it were already

.
,
excoriated and the sparks were begin ni ng to fly out of that

,
“ ’
feature He s a terrible fellow Venu s he s an awful fellow
.
’
, .
I d on t know how ever I Shall go through with it You

’
.
must stand by me Venus like a good man an d true You ll , ,

.
’
’
do all you can to stand by me Venu s won t you 9 ,
Mr Venus replied with the assurance that he would and

.
Mr Bo ffin l ooking anxious and dispirited pursued the way

.
, ,
in silence u ntil they rang at the Bower gate The stumpi n g .
approach of W e g g was soon heard behind it and as it ,
tu rned upon its hinges he became visible with his hand on

the lock .
Mr Boffin sir 9 he remarke d

. You re quite a ,
.
’
stranger ! ”
“
Yes I ve been otherwise occupied W e gg
.
’
,
.
Have you indeed sir 9 returned the literary gentleman , ,
with a threa tening sneer Hah ! I ve been looking for .

’
”
you sir rather w h at I may call specially
, ,
.
“
You don t say so W e gg ? ’
,
’
Yes I d o say so sir And if you hadn t come round to
, , .
me to night dash m y wig if I wouldn t have come round

-
,
’
”
to y o u to morrow Now ! I tell you ! -
.
Nothing wrong I hope W e gg ? , ,
Oh no Mr Boffin was the ironical answer , Nothing .

,
.
wrong ! What sho u ld be wrong in Bo ffin s e s Bower ? Step

‘
I n , Sl I .
6
If y ou ll ’
t o th e B o we
c om e I ve sh a e fo r y ou , r ’
d d
Y o u r b e d s h a n t b e r o s e s a l l Sp a n
’
e wi th d oo gl d
\ l
V i l y o u , wi y ou , w i y ou wlli y o u ,
c o m ll
t o t h e B o we r ? ll e
'
O h , w on t y o u , w o n t y o u , wo n t y ou , wo n t y o u , c o m e t o t h e B o we
’ ’
r 9 ’ ”
An unholy glare of contradiction and offence shone in th e

eyes of Mr W e g g as he turned the key on his patron a fter
.
, ,
u shering him into the yard with this vocal quotation Mr . .
Bo ffin s air was crestfallen and submissive Whispered W e g g

’
.
“
to Venus as they crossed the yard behind him : Look at
,
’
the worm and minion ; he s down in the mouth already .
”
Whispered Venus to W e g g : That s because I ve told him

“ ’ ’
.
I ve prepared the way for you

’
.
Mr Bo fli n entering the usual chamber l aid his stick upon

.
, ,
the settle us u ally reserved for him thrust his hands into his ,
pockets and with his shoulders raised and his hat drooping
, ,
back upon them looked disconsolately at W e g g ,

“
My friend .
and partner Mr Venus gives me to understand remarked

,
.
, ,
“
that man of might addressing him that you are aware of , ,
our power over you Now when you have took your hat O ff .
, ,
’ ”
we ll go into that pint .
Mr Bo ffin shook it O ff with one shake so that it dropped

.
,
on the floor behind him and remained in his former attitude ,
with his fo rmer rueful look upon him .
“
F irst of all I m a going to call you Boffin for short ;
,
’
-
,
said W e gg “
If you don t li ke it it s open to y ou to lump
.
’
,
’
it
I don t mind I t W e gg Mr B offin replied
’
,
. .
That s lucky for you Boffin NO W do you want to be

’
,
.
,
”
read to 9
“
I don t particularly care about it t o night W e gg
’
,
.
Becau s e if you did want pursued Mr W e gg the ,

”
.
,
brilliancy of whose point was dimmed by his having been

“
unexpectedly answered : you wouldn t be I ve bee n your ’
.
’
slave long enough I m not to be trampled u nder foot by a

.
’
-
dustman any more With the single exception of the salary .

,
I renounce the whole and total s i ti wation .
‘
Since you say it is to be so W e g g returned Mr Bo ffin , ,
”
.
,
“
with folded hands I suppose it must be ,
.
I suppose it must be W e gg retorted

‘
Next (to clear ,
”
.
the ground before coming to bu siness) you ve placed in this ,

’
”
yard a skulking a sneaki ng and a sni ffi ng menial , . .
“ ’
He hadn t a cold in his head when I sent him here said ,
Mr Bo ffin
. .
I never meant my dear W e gg Mr Boffin wa s b e
, .
ginning when Silas stopped him

, .
“
Hold your tongue Bofii n ! Answer when you re called ,
’
upon to answer You ll find you ve got quite enough to do

.
’ ’
No w you re aware— are you — that you re in possession of

.
’ ’
property to which you ve no right at all ? Are you aware ’
of that ?
Venus tells me SO said Mr Boffi n glancing towards him , .
,
for any support he co uld give .
“ ”
I tell you so returned Silas Now here s my hat ’
, .
, ,
Boffin and here s my walk i ng stick Trifle with me and

,
’
-
.
,
instead of making a bargain with you I ll put on my h at ,

’
and take up my walking Stick and go out and make a -
bargain with the rightfu l owner NO W what do you say ?

,
.
,
“
I say returned Mr Bo ffin leaning forward in alarmed
,
”
.
,
“
appeal with his hands on his knees that I am sure I don t
, ,
’
want to trifle W e gg I have said so to Venus

,
. .
”
“
Y o u certainl y have sir said Venus ”
.
, ,
You re too milk and watery with our friend you a r e

’
indeed remonstrated Silas with a disapproving Shake of his

,
”
,
“
wooden head Then at once you confess yourself desirous
.
to come to terms do you Boffin 9 Before you answer keep

, , ,
this hat well in your mind and also this walkin g stick ,
-
.
“
I am willing W e gg to co me to terms , ,
.
”
Willing won t do Boffi n I won t take willing Are you

’
, .
’
.
desirous to come to terms ? Do you ask to be allowed as a

favour to come to terms ? Mr W e gg again planted his ”
.
arm and put his head on one S ide .
“
Yes .
Y es what ? said the inexorable W e g g : I won t take

” “ ’
yes I ll have it out of you in full B offin

.
’
,
.
“ “
Dear me cried that unfortunate gentleman I am so .
worrited ! I ask to be al l owed to come to terms supposing ,
your document is all correct .

”
Don t you be afraid of that said S i las poking h i s head

’
, ,
at him You shall be satisfied by seeing it Mr Venus

. . .
will S how i t you and I ll hold you the while Then you
,
’
.
want to know what the terms are Is that about the sum .
and subs tance o f it ? Will you or won t you answer ’
Boffin ? F or he had paused a moment

”
.
“
“
Dear me ! cried that unfortunate gentl eman again I
”
,
a m worrited to that degree that I m almost o f

’
f my head .
You hurry me so Be so good as name the terms W e gg.

,
.
”
MR . W EG G N AM E S HI S TE RM S 0
7 7
“ ’
“
Now mark Boffin returned Silas :
, ,
Mark em well , ,
’
because they re the lowest terms and the only terms You ll
’
.
throw your Mound (the little Mound as comes to you any

’
way) into the general estate and then you ll divide the whole ,
’
property into three parts and you ll keep one and hand ove r ,
”
the others .
Mr Venus s mouth screwed itself up a s Mr Bo ffin s face

.
’
,
.
’
lengthened itself ; Mr Venus not having been prepared for .
such a rapacious demand .
Now wait a bit Bofii n W e gg proceeded there s some

‘ “
, , ,
’
thing more You ve been a squandering this property — l a y

,
’
.
ing some of it out on you rself Th a t won t do You ve .

’
.
’
”
bought a house You l l be ch a rged for it
.
’
.
I shall be ruined W e gg Mr Bofli n faintly protested ,

. .
’
Now wait a bit Bo ffi n there s something more You ll
, ,
’
.
leave me i n sole custody of these Mounds till they re all l aid ’
low If any wal u a b l e s sho u ld be found in em I ll take care

.
’
,
’
of su ch wa l u a b l e s You ll produce y our contract for the

.
’
sale of the Mounds that W e m a y know to a penny what ,

’
they re wort h and you ll make out likewise an exact list of
’
all the other property When the Mounds is cleared away .
to the last shovel full the final d i wi s i o n will come O ff

-
, .
”
Dreadful dreadful d readful ! I shall die in a work

, ,
house ! cried the G olden Dustman with h i s han d s to h i s

”
,
head .
Now wait a bit Boffin there s something more You ve

, ,
’
.
’
been unlawfully ferreting about this yard You ve be en seen .

’
in the act of ferreting about this yard Two pa i r of eyes at .
the present moment brought to bear upon you have s e en ,
you dig up a Dutch bottle .
“
It was mi ne W e gg protested Mr Bo ffin
,
I put it ,
”
. .
”
there myself .
What was in it Bo ffi n 9 inquired Silas ,

.
Not gold not Silver not bank n otes not j ewels nothing
, , , ,
that y ou could turn into money W e g g ; upon my soul ! ,

”
Prepare d Mr Venus said W e g g tu rning to his partner

,
.
,
”
,
with a knowing and superior air for an e wa s i v e answer on ,
th e part of ou r dusty friend here I have h i t out a little

,
idea which I think will meet your views We charge that .
bottle against our dusty friend at a thousand pound .

”
Mr Bo ffi n drew a deep groan

.
.
Now wait a bit Boffin ; there s something more In you r

, ,
’
.
e m ploymen t is an under handed sneak named Ro k e s m i th -

.
,
’
It won t answer to have hi m about whil e this business of ours ,
is about He must be discharge d

. .
Rok e s m i th is already discharged said Mr Bo ffin speak , .

,
ing in a mu ffled voi c e with his hands before his face as he , ,
rocked himself on the settle .
“
Alr eady discharged is he ? returned W e gg surprised , , .
Oh Then Bo ffi n I believe there s nothing more at

, ,
’
present .
The unlucky gentleman continu ing to rock himself to and

fro and to utter an occasional moan Mr Venus besought
, ,
.
h i m to bear up against his rev e rses and to take time to ,
accustom himself to the thought of hi s new position But .

,
h is taking time was exactly the thing of all others that Silas
W e gg could not be induced to hear of Yes or no and .
,
no half measures -
was the motto Which that obdurate
person many times repeated shaking his fist at Mr Boffin .
,
and pegging his motto into the floor with his wooden leg ,
in a threatening and a larming manner .
At length Mr Bo ffin entreated to b e allowed a quarter of

.
an hour s grace and a cooling walk of that duration in the

’
yard With some diffi culty Mr W e g g granted this great

. .
favour but only on condition that he accompanied Mr Boffin

,
.
in his walk as not kno wing what h e m ight frau dulently

,
uneart h if he were left to himself A more absurd sight than .
Mr Boffi n i n his mental irritation trotting very nimbly an d

.
,
Mr W e gg hopping after him with great exertion eager to

.
,
watch the slightest turn of an eyelash lest it sh ould indicate ,
a spot rich with some secret assuredly had never been seen ,
in the shadow of the Mounds Mr W e g g was much distressed . .
when the quarter of an hour expired and came hopping in , ,
a very bad second .
“
I can t help myself ! cried Mr B o ffi n flou n c i n g on the
’ ”
.
,
settle in a forlorn manner with his hands deep in his ,

“
pockets as if his pockets had sunk
,
What s the good of .
’
my pretending to stand out when I can t help myself ? I ,

’
must give in to the terms But I should like to see the .
document .
W e gg who was all for clinching the nail he had so strongly

,
driven home announced that Boffin should see it without an

,
ho u r s delay Taking h i m into custody for that purpose or

’
.
,
overshadowing h im as if he really were his Evil Genius in

visi ble form Mr W e g g clapped Mr Bo ffin s hat upon the
,
. .
’
back of his head and walked him out by the arm asserting , ,
slowly that W e gg who was holding him in the chair with
, ,
the grip of a wrestler became again exceedingly the wors e ,

“
for his exe r tions Say when you ve put it safe back Mr .
’
, .
” “
Venus he uttered with difficulty for the strain of th i s is
, ,
te r r i m e n j ious .
At l ength the document was restore d to its place ; an d

W e g g whose u ncomfortable at titude had been that of a very
,
persevering m a n unsuccessfully attempting to stand upon his

head took a seat to recover himself Mr B o ffin for his part
, . .
, ,
made no a ttempt to come do wn but re m ained a l o ft d i s c o n s o la te , .
“
Well Bo ffi n said W e gg as soon as he was in a con
, ,
”
dition to speak Now you know ! .
“
Yes W e gg s aid Mr Bo ffin meekly
,
Now I know
, .
, . .
You have no doubts about it Boffin 9 ,

’
.
No W e gg No W e gg None was the slow and sad repl y

, .
, .
, .
Then take care you said W e gg ,

“
that you stick to , ,
”
you r conditions Mr Venus if on this auspicious occasion . .

,
you should happen to have a dro p of anything not quite so

’ '
mild as tea in the ouse I think I d take the friendly liberty-
,
of asking you for a specimen of it .
Mr Venus reminded of the dutie s O f hospitality produced

.
, ,
“
some rum I n answer to the inqui ry Will you mix it
.
, ,
M r W e gg
.
? ”
that gentleman pleasantly rej oined I think “
,
not sir On so auspicious an occasion I prefer to take it in

,
.
,
”
the form of a Gum Tickler -
.
Mr Bo ffI n decli n ing rum being still elevated on his

.
, ,
pedestal was in a co nvenient position to be addressed W e gg

,
.
having eyed him w i th a n impudent air at leisure addressed ,
him therefore while refreshing himself with h i s dram

, , .
Bof— fin
Yes W e gg he answered coming out of a fit of abstrae
, , ,
tion with a sigh

,
.
“
I haven t mentioned one thing because it s a detail that
’
,
’
comes of course You must be followed up you know You .

,
.
”
must be kept u nder inspection .
“ ”
I don t quite understand said Mr B o ffin
’
,
. .
Don t you 9 sneered W e gg

' “ ’
Where s your W I t s .
,
Bo ffin ? Till the Mounds is down and this business com

p l e te d you re
,
accountable for all the
’
p r o p e I ty recollect ,
.
Consider yourself accountable to me Mr Venus here being . .
’
too milk and watery with you I am the boy for you ,
.
“
I ve been a thin k ing said Mr Bofli n in a tone of d e Sp o n
’
,
.
,
den e y “ tha t I must keep the knowledge fro m my old lady

,
.
”
MR . B O FF IN U NDE R C LO SE INSP E CTI O N 771
The knowledge of the d i wi s i o n d ye m e an in qu i red ’
? ”
W e gg helping himself to a third Gum Tickler—for he h a d

,
-
,
already taken a seco nd .
“
Yes If she was to die first of us two she might then
. .
think all her life poor thin g that I had got the rest of the , ,
fortune still and was saving it ,

.
”
I suspect Boffin returned W e gg Shaking his head

, ,
”
,
“
sagaciously and bestowing a wooden wink upon him that
, ,
you ve found out some account of some old chap supp osed
’
to be a M
,
iser who got hims elf the credit of having much

,
.
more money than h e had However I don t mind .

,
’
.
”
D on t you see W e gg 9 Mr Bo fli n feelingly represented

’
, .
“ ’
to him : don t you see ? My old lady has got SO used to the
property It would be such a hard surprise
. .
I d on t s e e it at all blustered W e gg
’
You l l have as ,
”
.
’
much as I shall And wh o are you 9 .
“ “
But then again Mr Boffin gently represented , ,
”
my .
,
old lady has very upright p rinciples .

”
Who s your O l d lady returned W e gg to set herself up

’ “
, ,
for having u pr i gh te r principles than mine 9

Mr Bo ffI n seemed a little less patient at this point than at
.
any other of the negotiations Bu t he commanded himself .

,
“
and said tamely enough : I think it must be kept from my
old l ady W e gg ,
.
”
Well said W e gg contemptuou sly tho u gh perhaps

, , , , ,
“
perceiving s ome hint of danger otherwise keep it from ,
you r ol d lady I ain t going to tell her I can have you

.
’
.
’
under close inspection W ithout that I m as good a man as .
you and better Ask me to dinner

,
. Give me the run of .
’
you r ouse I was good enough for you and your old lady
.
once when I helped you out with your weal and hammers
, .
Was there no Miss Elizab eth Master George Aunt Jane , , ,
and Uncle Parker before y ou two 9 ,
Gently Mr W e g g gently Venu s urged

,
.
, ,
”
.
Milk and water e r i l y you mean Si r he returned with -

, ,
”
some little thickness of speech in consequence of the G u m ,

“ ’
Ticklers having tickled it I ve got him under in spection .
,
a n d I ll inspect him
’
.
‘
Al o n g th e l i n e th e s i g n a l r a n ,
E n gl a n d e x p e c t s a s th i s p r e s e n t m a n
W i ll k e e p B offi n to h i s d u ty .
’
Boffin I ll see you home

,
’
.
Mr Boffin desce nded with an air of resignation and gave

.
himself up after taking friendly leave of Mr Venus Once
, . .
more Inspector and Inspected went through the streets

,
t ogether and so arrived at Mr Boffin s door

’
.
, .
But even there when Mr Bo ffin had given his keeper

,
.
good night and had let h i mself in with his key and had
-
, ,
softly closed the door even there and then the all powerful
, ,
-
Silas must needs claim an other assertion of his newly

asserted power .
Bof— fin he called through the keyhole .
Yes W e gg was the reply through the same channel

, , .
Come out Show yo u rse l f again Let s have another

. .
’
”
look at you !
Mr Bofli n — ah how fal len from the high estate of his
.
,
honest s i mplicity ! o pe n e d the door and obeyed

fl
.
“
Go in You may get to bed now sa id W e gg with
.
,
”
,
a gu n .
The door was hardly close d when he agai n called through

,
the keyhole :
Bof— fin
Yes W e g g
'
, .
This time Sil a s made no reply but laboured with a will at ,
tu rning an imaginary grin dstone outside the keyhol e whi le ,
Mr Bo ffI n stooped at it within ; he then laughed Silen tly

.
,
and stumped home .

though .
Wasn t it one of ’
those beau —tiful tresses ? with ”
his caressing han d u pon her hair .
“ ’ ”
Wasn t it too ! returned Bella pretending to pout
, , .
Upon my word ! Do you know sir that the F or tune , ,
teller would give five tho usand guineas (if it was quite con
v e n i e n t to him which it isn t ) for the lovely piece I have cut
’
o ff for you ? You can form n o idea sir of the number of , ,
times he kissed quite a scrubby little piece — i n comparison

—that I cut off for hi m And he wears it too round his 9
.
, ,
n eck I can tell you ! Near his heart

, said Bella nodding , .
“
Ah ! very near h is heart However you have been a good .
, ,
goo d boy and you are the best of all the dearest boys that
,
’
ever were this morning and here s the ch ain I have m a de of
, ,
it Pa and you must let me put i t round your neck with my

, ,
own loving hands .

”
As Pa bent his he ad she cried over him a little an d then , ,
said (after having stopped to dry her eyes on his white waist
coat the discovery o f which incongruous circumstance made
,
“
her laugh ) : Now darling Pa give me your hands that
I may fold the m together and do you say after m e z—My
, ,
little Bella .
My little Bella repeate d Pa , .
I am very fond of you .

”
I a m very fond of you my d arling said Pa , ,

.
You mustn t say anything n ot dictate d to y ou Si r You

’
,
.
’
daren t do it in your responses at Church and you mu stn t ,
’
”
do it in your responses out of Church .
“ ”
I withdraw the darling said Pa , .
’
That s a pious boy Now again — You were always
You were always repeate d Pa , .
A vexatious
’ ”
No you weren t said Pa
, ,
.
A vexatious (do you hear Si r a vexatious capricious , , ,

’
thankless trouble s ome Animal but I hope you l l do better
,
”
in the time to come and I bless you and forgive you ! ,
’
Here she quite forgot that it was Pa s turn t o make the
,
“
responses and clung to his neck
,
Dear P a if y ou knew .
,
how much I think this morning of wh at you told m e

once about the first time of our seeing old Mr Harmo n
,
.
,
when I stamped and screamed and beat you with m y detest

able little bonnet ! I feel a s if I had been stamping a n d
screaming an d beating you with m y hateful little bon n et ,
”
ever since I was born d arling ! ,
SUCC E SSFU L E SCAP E O F PA 7 75
Nonsense my l ove An d as to your bonnets they have
,
.
,
always been nice bonnets for they have always become you
— Or you have become them ; perhaps it was that —
,
at
every age .
“ ? ”
Did I hu rt you much poor little Pa asked Bella , ,
laughing (notwithstanding her repentance) with fantastic ,

“
pleasure in th e picture when I beat you with my bonnet 9 ,
’
No my child Wouldn t have hur t a fly
,
.
’
Aye but I am afraid I shouldn t have beat you at all
, .
“ ’
unless I had mean t to hurt you sa id B ella Did I ,
.
”
p i nch your legs Pa ? ,
“
Not much my dear ; but I think it s almost tim e ,
’
I 3,
“ ’
Oh yes ! cried Bella
,
If I go on chattering you ll be
”
: ,
taken al ive Fl y Pa fly .
, ,
So they went softly up th e kitchen stairs on tiptoe and ,
Bella with her li ght hand softly r emoved th e faste n in gs of

the house door and Pa havi n g received a partin g hug m ade
, , ,
o ff
. When he had gone a little way h e looked back Upon .
which Bell a set another of those fin ge r seals upon the a i r

,
-
,
and thrust out her little foot expressive of the mark Pa in .

,
appropriate action expressed fidel ity to the mark and made , ,
o ff as fast as he could go .
Bell a walk ed tho u ght fully in the garden for an hour and
more and then returning to the b edro om where Lavv y th e
, ,
Irrepressible still slumbered put on a little bonnet of quiet , ,
but on the whole of sly appearance which she had y esterday

'
,
made I am goin g for a walk La vv y

. she said as she ,
'
, ,
st ooped down and kissed her The Irrepressible with a .

,
bounce in the bed and a remark that it wasn t time to get ,

’
u p yet relapsed into unconsciousness if she had com e out

, ,
,
of it .
Behold Bella t r ppi n g alo n g the streets the dearest gi rl i

,
afoot under the summer sun Behold Pa waitin g for Bella

behind a pump at least three mil es from the parental roof ,
tree Behold Be l la and Pa aboard an early steamboat bound

.
for Greenwich .
Were they expected at Greenwich 9 Probably At least .

,
Mr John Rok e s m i th was on the pier looking out abo ut a

.
,
couple of hours before the coaly (but to him gold dusty) -
little steamboat got her steam u p in London Pr obably . .
At least Mr John Ro k e s m i th seemed perfectly satisfied

, .
when he descried them on board Probably At l e as t Bel l a . .

,
no sooner stepped ashore than she took Mr John Roke .
smith s arm without evinc i ng su r prise and the two walked

’
, ,
away together with an ethereal air of happiness which as it ,
were wafted up from the earth and drew up after them a

,
g ru ff and glum old pensioner t o see it out Two wooden legs .
had this gru ff and glum old pensioner and a minute before , ,
Bella stepped out o f the boat and drew that c on fidi n g little ,
arm of hers through Rok e s m i th s he had had no obj ect in ’
li fe but tobacco and not enough of that Stranded was Gru ff

, .
and Gl u m in a harbour of everlas ting mud when all in an

instant B ella floated h i m and aw
,
ay he went , .
Say cherubic parent taking the lead in what direction do

, ,
we steer first ? With some such i nquiry in his thoughts ,
Gruff and Glum stricken by so sudden an int e rest that he

,
perked h is neck and looke d over the intervening people as if ,
he were trying to stand on tiptoe with his two wooden legs ,

“ ”
took an observation of R W There was no first in the . .
ca s e Gr u ff and Glum made out ; the cheru bic parent was

,
be aring do wn and crowding on d i rect for Greenwich Church ,
to see his relations .
F or G r u fl an d Glum though most events acted on him

,
simply as tobacco stoppers pressing down and condensi ng

-
,
the quids within him mi ght be i m a gined to trace a fam ily

,
resemblance betwee n the cherub s in the church ar chitecture ,
a n d the cherub in the white waistcoat Some resemblance .
of old Valentines wherein a cherub less appropriately

, ,
attired for a proverbially unce rtain climate had been see n ,
conducting lovers to the altar might have been fancied to ,
inflame the ardour of his timber toe s Be it as it m ight he .

,
gave his moorings the slip and followed in chase ,

.
The cherub went before all beaming smiles ; Bella and ,
John Rok e s m i th followed ; Gru ff and Glu m stuck to them

like wax F or years the wings of his mind had gone to
.
look after the legs of his body but Bella had brought them
back for him per steamer and they were spread again,
.
He was a slow sailer on a wind of happiness but he took ,
a cross cut for the rendezvous and pegged away as if he ,
were scoring fu riously at cribbage When the shadow of .
the church porch swallowed them up vic toriou s Gru ff and

-
,
Glum likewise presented himself to b e swallowed up And .
by this time the cherubic parent was s o fearful of surprise ,
that but for the two wooden legs on which Gru ff and Glum
,
was reassuringly mounted his conscience might have intro ,

77 8 O UR . MUTUAL FRI E ND
the post office and said merrily Now dearest Pa you are
, , , ,
s afe and wil l never be t a ken alive !

,
Pa was at first in the stirred depths of his conscience so

, , ,
far fro m sure of being sa fe yet that he made out maj estic ,
matrons lurking i n ambush among the harmless trees of

Greenwich Park and seemed to see a stately countenance ,
tied up in a well known po cket h andkerchief glooming - -
d own at h i m from a windo w of the Observatory where ,
the F ami liars of the Astronomer Royal nightly outwatch

the winking stars But the mi nutes passing on and no .
Mrs Wilfer in the flesh appearing he became more con

.
,
fid e n t and so repaired with good heart and a ppe ti te to

'
Mr and Mrs J ohn Rok e s m i th s cottage on Blackh eath

. .
’
where breakfast was ready .
A mo dest littl e cottage bu t a bright and a fresh and on ,
the snowy table cloth the prettiest of little breakfasts In

-
.
waitin g to o like an attendant summer breeze a fluttering

, , ,
young damsel all pink and ribbo ns blush i ng as if she had

, ,
b e en married instead of Bell a and yet asserting the triumph ,
of her sex over John and P a in an exulti n g and exalted ,
fl u rry : as who should say This is what you mu st a ll come

“
,
to gentlemen when we choose to bring you to book

, ,
This .
sa m e you ng damsel was Bella s serving maid and unto her ’

-
,
did deliver a bunch of keys commanding treasures in the way ,
of drysaltery groceries jams and pickles the i nvestigation of

, , ,
which made pastime after breakfast when Bella declared that ,

“
Pa must taste e v erything John dear or it will never be , ,
l u cky and when Pa had all sorts of things poked into his
,
”
’
mouth and didn t quite know what to do with them when
,
they were put there .
Then they all three out for a charming ride an d for a

, , ,
charm i ng s troll among heath and bloom and there behold the ,
identical Gru ff and Glu m with his wooden legs horiz ontally
disposed before him apparently sittin g meditatin g on the ,
vicissitudes of life To who m said Bella in her light he arted ,

-
“
surprise Oh ! How do you again ? What a dear old
”
pensioner you are ! To which Gru ff and Glum responded
that he see her married this morning my Beauty and that , ,
if it warn t a l iberty he wish ed her j i and the fairest of fair

’
wind and weather ; further in a general way requesting to ,
know what cheer ? and scrambling up on his two wooden

legs to sa lute hat in hand ship shape wi th the gal lantry of
, ,
-
,
a man o f war s man and a heart of oak

- -
’
-
.
DINN E R FO R THREE I N P RIV ATE RO O M 7 79
It was a pleasant sight in the midst of the golden bloom , ,
to see this salt old Gru ff and Glum wavi ng his shovel hat at
Bel la while his thin white hair flowed free as if she had
, ,
once more launched h i m into blue water again You are .
“ ”
a charming old pensioner said Bella and I am so happy , ,
tha t I W ish I could make you happy too Answered Gru ff ,

.
”
“
an d Glum Give me leave to kiss your hand my Lovely
, , ,
”
and it s done !
’
So it was done to the general content
ment and if Gruff and Glum didn t in the course of the ’
afternoon splice the main brace it was not for want of the ,
means of inflict i ng that outrage on the feelings of the Infant

Bands of Hope .
B ut the marriage dinner was the crowning success for ,
what had bride and bridegroom plotted to do but to have ,
and to hold that dinner in the very room of the very hotel
where Pa and the lovely woman had once dined together !
Bell a sat between Pa and John and divided her attentions ,
pretty equally but felt it necessary (in the waiter s absence

,
’
before d i nner) to remind Pa that she was hi s lovely woman

no longer .
,
I am well a ware of it my dear returned the cherub , .
”
and I resign you wil lingly .
“
Will i ngly sir 9 You ought to be broken hearted
,
-
.
So I should be my dear, if I thought that I was goi n g ,

”
to lose you .
“
But y o u know you are not ; don t you poor dear Pa ? ’
You know that you h ave only made a new relation who will
b e as fond of you and as thankful to you — for my sake and
your own sake both — as I am ; don t you dear little Pa ? ’
Look here Pa ! Bella put her fi n ger on her own lip

,
”
,
and then on Pa s then on her own lip again and then ’
, ,
on her husband s Now we are a partnership of three

’
.
,
”
dear Pa .
The appearance of dinner here cut Bella short in one of

her disappearances the more effectual ly because it was put ,
on under the auspices of a solemn gentleman in black clothes

and a white cravat who looked much more like a clergyman,
than th e clergyman and seemed to have mounted a great ,
deal higher in the church : not to say s e a l e d the steeple ,

.
This dignitary conferring in secrecy with John Ro k e s m i th

,
on the subj ect of punch and wines bent his head as though ,
stooping to the Papistical practice of receiving auricular

confession Likewise on Joh n s O ffering a suggestion which
.
,
’
’
didn t meet his views his face became overcast and reproach
,
ful as enj oining penance

,
.
What a dinner ! Spec i mens of all the fishes th at swi m

in the sea surely had swum their way to it and if samples
, ,
of the fishes of divers colours that made a speech in the

Arabian Nights (quite a min i s terial explanation i n respect
of clou diness) an d then j umpe d out of the frying pan were
,
-
,
not to be recognised it was only be c ause they had all become

,
of one hue by bei ng cooked in batter among the whitebait

And the dishes being seasoned with Bli ss —a n a rticle which
.
they are sometimes out of at Green wich — were of perfect ,
age and hoarding up their sparkles ever si nce d

flavour an d the golden d rinks had been bottled i n the gol en
.
The best of it was that Bella and John and the cherub h a d
,
made a covenant that they would not reveal to mortal eyes

any appearance whatever of being a wedding party Now .
the supervising dignitary the Archbishop of Greenwich , ,
knew this as well as if he had performed the nuptial

ceremony And the loftiness with which h i s Grace entered
.
into the i r confidence without bei ng invited and insisted on ,
a show of keeping the waiters out of it was the crowning ,
glory of the enter tainment .
There was an innocent y oung waiter of a slender form and

with wea kish legs as yet unversed in the wiles of waiter
,
hood and but too evidently of a romantic temperam ent and

, ,
deeply (it were not too much to add hopelessly) in love with
some young female not aware of his merit This guileless .
youth descrying the position of affairs which even his

, ,
innocence could not mistake limited h i s waiting to languish ,
ing admiringly again st the sideboard when Bella didn t want ’
anything an d swooping at her when she did

,
Him his .
,
Grace the Archbishop perpetu al ly obstructed cutting him ,
out with h i s elbow in the moment of success d i spatching ,
h i m i n degrading quest of melted butter and when by any , ,
chance he got hold of any di sh worth having bereavi ng him ,
of it and order i ng hi m to stand back

,
.
Pray excuse him madam said the Ar chbishop in a low

, ,
”
“
stately voice ; he is a very young man on liking and we ,
d on t like him
’
.
This i nduced John Rok e s m i th to observe — b y way of

making the thing more natural Bella my love this is so , ,
much more successful than any of our past anniversaries ,

”
that I think we must keep our future anniversaries here .
A P IE C E O F O RANG E- F L O W E R 8
7 3
VVh e re u n toBella repli ed with probably the least success ,
ful attempt at looking matronly that ever was seen : Indeed ,

”
I think so John dear , ,
.
Here the Archbishop of Greenwich co u ghed a stately cough

to attract the attention of three of his mini sters present and ,
“
staring at them s eemed to say : I call upon you by you r
,
fealty to beli eve thi s ! ”
With his own hands he afterwards put on the dessert as ,
remarking to the three gu ests The period has now arrived ,
at which we can dispense with the assistance of those fell ows

who are not in ou r confidence and would have retired with ,
complete d ignity but for a daring action issuing from the

mis guided bra i n of the you ng man on liking H e finding .
,
by ill fortune a piece of orange flo we r somewhere i n the

-
,
-
lobbies now a pproach ed u ndetected with the same in a

,
fin ge r glass an d place d it on Bella s right hand

-
,
Th e Ar ch ’
.
bishop instantly ejected and excomm unicated him but the -
thing was done .
“
I trust mad am said his Grace retu rn ing alone that
, , , ,
you will have the kindness to overlook it in consideration ,
of its bein g the act of a very yo u ng man wh o is merely here

”
on liking and who will never answer
,
.
With that he solemnly bowed an d retir ed a n d they all

, ,
“
bur st into lau ghter long and merry Disguise is of n o
,
.
“
use said Bella
,
”
they all find me out I thi n k it must be ,
Pa and John dear because I look so happy ! ,
Her hu sband feeling it necessary at this po i nt to demand

one of those mysterious disappe arances on Bella s part she ’
dutifu lly obeyed ; saying in a softened voice from h e r place

of concealment
“
You remember how we talked about the sh ips that day ,
Pa 9
“
Yes m y dear , .
’
Isn t it strange now to think that there was n o John , ,
in all the ships Pa ? ,

“
Not at a ll my dear , .
Oh Pa ! Not at all 9
,
No my dear How can we tell what coming people are

,
.
aboard the Ships that may be s a i l i n g to u s now fr om the '
unknown sea s
Bella remaining invisible and silent her father remained ,
at h i s dessert an d wine until he remembered it was time ,

“
for him to get home to Holloway Thou gh I positivel y .
8
7 4 O UR MUTU AL F R IE ND
cann ot tear myself away he cherubically added —it
would be a sin —without d rinking to many many happy
, ,
returns of this most happy day .

”
“ “ ”
Hear ! ten thousand times ! cried John I fill my .
gl ass and my precious wife s ’

.
”
“ ”
Gentlemen said the cherub inaudibly addressing in his
, , ,
An glo Saxon ten d ency to throw h i s feelings into the form o f

-
a speech the boys down below who were bidding against

, ,
each other to put their heads in the mu d for Sixpence

Gentlemen — and Bella and John — you will read i ly suppose
that it is not my intention to trouble y o u with many ob s e r
v a ti o n s on the present occasion You will also at once infer .
the nature and even the terms of th e toast I a m about to

propose on th e present occasion Gentlemen — and Bella
and John —th e present occasion is an occasion fraught with
.
feelings that I cannot trust myself t o express B ut gentle .

,
men — and Bella and John — for the part I have had in it ,
for the confidence you have placed in me and for the ,
affectionate good nature and kindness with which you have

-
determined not to find me in the way when I am well ,
aware t hat I cannot be otherwi se than in it more or less

Gentlemen —and Bella and
,
I do most heartily thank you .
John — m y love to you and may we meet as on the present

, ,
occ asion on many future occas i ons that is to say bgentle

me n — and Bella and John —o n m any happy retu rn s o f the
, , ,
present happy occasion .
Havin g thus concluded his ad dress the amiable cherub ,
embraced his daughter an d took h i s flight to the steamboat

,
which was to convey h i m to Londo n a n d was then lying at

the floating pier d oing its best to bu mp the s a me to bits
,
.
,
But the happy couple were not going to part with him in
that way and before he had been on board two minutes
, ,
there they were looking down at him from the wharf above
, .
“
Pa dear ! cried Bella becko ni n g him with her parasol
, ,
to approach the side and be nding gracefully to whispe r

, ,
Yes my darling
, .
”
Did I beat you much with that horr id little bonnet,
Nothing to speak of my dear ,

.
Did I pinch you r legs Pa ? ,

”
Only nicely my pet , .

”
You a r e sure you quite forgi v e me Pa ? Please Pa

Half laughing at h i m and half
, , ,
p l e a se forgi v e me quite ! ”
C HAP T ER V
C ON C ERNING THE
’
M ENDIC ANT S BRIDE
THE impressive gloom with which Mrs Wilfer received her .
husband on his return from the Wedding knocked so hard at ,
the door of the cherubic conscience and likewise so i mpaired ,
the firmness of the cherubic legs that the culprit s tottering ,

’
condition of mind and body might have roused suspicion in

less occupied persons than the grimly heroic lady Miss ,
Lavinia and that esteemed friend of the family Mr George

, , .
Sampson But the attention of all three bein g full y

.
possessed by the main fact of the marriage they had happily ,
none to bestow on the guilty conspir ator to which fortunate

circumstance he owed the escape for which he was in nowise
indebted to himself .
“
You do not R W said Mrs Wilfer from her stately
, . .
,
.
“
corner inquire for your daughter Bella
,
.
”
”
To be sure my dear he returned with a most flagrant
, , ,
assumption of unconsciousness “
I did omit it How — or , .
perhaps I should rather say where — i s Bella 9

“ ”
Not here Mrs Wilfer proclaimed with folded arms
, .
, .
The cherub faintly muttered somethin g to the abortive

“ ”
effect of Oh indeed my dear ! , ,
Not here repeate d Mrs Wilfer in a stern sonorous voice

,
”
.
, .
”
In a W ord R W you have no daughter Bella
,
. . .
No daughter Bella my dear 9 ,
N 0 Your daughter Bella said Mrs Wil fer with a

.
,
.
,
lofty air of never having had the l east copartnership in that

young lady of whom she now made reproachful mention as
an article of luxury which her husband had set up enti rely
on his own account and in direct opposition to her advice : ,
— your daughter Bella has bestowed herself upon a Mendi
”
cant.
”
Good gracious my dear ! ,
’
Show your father his daughter Bella s letter Lavinia , ,
said Mrs Wilfer in her monotonous Act of Parliament tone

.
, ,
MRS . W IL FE R B R E AK S THE N EW S 8
7 7
an d waving her hand I think you r father will a d mit it .
to be documentary proof of what I tell him I be l ieve y o u r .
father is acquainted with his daughter B ella s w riti n g Bu t ’

.
I do n ot know He may tell you he is not . No thi n g will .
surprise me .
”
Posted at Green wich and dated this m orn in g said th e , ,
Irrepressible flou n c i n g at her father in handi n g him th e

,
“
evidence Hopes Ma won t be an gry but is happil y
.
’
married to Mr John Ro k e s m i th and d idn t mention it before

.
,
’
h and to avoid words and please tell d arling you and l ove to
, ,
’
me and I should like to know what y ou d have said if a n y
,
other unmarried member of the family had d one it

“
He read the lette r and faintly ex claimed Dear m e ,
“
You may well say Dear me ! rej oin ed Mrs Wil fer ”
.
,
i n a dee p tone Upon which encou ragement he sai d it again

.
,
though scarcely with the su ccess he h a d expected ; for the

scornful lady then remarked with extreme b itte rn ess Y ou ,
said that before .

”
It s very su rprising But I supp ose m y dea r hinte d the

’
.
, ,
cherub as he folded the letter after a discon certing sile n ce

,
“
that we mu st make the best of it ! Would you obj ect to
my pointing out my dear that Mr John Ro k e s m i th is n ot
, , .
(so far as I am acquainted with him ) strictly speaki n g a , ,
Mendicant .
‘
Indeed 9 retu rn ed Mrs W il fer with an a wful air of
”
.
,
politeness Truly so ? I was not aware t h at Mr John

. .
Ro k e s m i th was a gentleman of lan ded property But I a m .
”
mu ch relieved to hear it .
“
I doubt if you h a ve heard it my dear the c h eru b sub , ,
m i tte d with hesitation .
Thank you said Mrs Wilfer I make fal se statem ents

,
”
.
, ,
it appears ? SO be it If my daughter flies in m y face .

,
surely my husband may The one thing is not m ore u nn atural .
than the other There seems a fitness i n the arran gem ent
. .
By all means ! Assuming with a shiver of resign atio n ,
a d eadly cheerfulness .
But here the Irrep ressibl e skirmished into th e conflict

d ragging the reluctant form of Mr Sampson after h e r . .
“
Ma interposed the young lady I must say I thi n k it
, ,
would be much better if you would keep to the point and not ,
’
hold forth about people s flying into people s faces which is ’
,
”
nothing more nor less than impossible nonsense .
“
How exclaimed Mrs Wilfer k nitting her d ark brows .
,
.
Just i m possible nonse n se Ma returned Lav v y and
-
, , ,
George Sampson knows it is as well as I do ,

.
”
Mrs Wilfer sudd enly becoming petrified fixed her i n d i g

.
,
nant eyes upon the wretched George : who divided between ,
the support due from him to his love and the support due ,
’
from h i m to his love s mamma supported nobody not even , ,
himself .
“ “
The true point is p ursued Lavinia that Bella has , ,
behaved in a most unsisterly way to me and might have ,
severely compromised me with George and with George s ’
family by making o ff and getting married i n this very low

and disreputable m a n n e r —
,
with some pew O pener or other fl -

,
I suppose for a bridesmaid when she ought to have confided

,
-
‘
in me and ought to have said If La v vy you consider it
, , , ,
due to your engagement with George that you Should ,
countenance the occasion by being present then La v v y , , ,
I beg you to be present keeping my secret from Ma and Pa ,

.
’
As of course I shoul d have done .

”
As of course you would have done 9 Ingrate exclaimed

“ ”
Mrs Wilfer
. Viper ! .
“ ’
I say ! You know ma am Upon m y honour you ,
.
’ ”
mustn t Mr Sampson remonstrated shaking his head
, .
,
“
seriously With the highest respect for you ma am upon
.
,
’
my life you mustn t No really you know When a m a n ’

.
,
.
with the feelings of a gentleman finds himself engaged to a

young lady and it comes (even on the part of a member of
,
the family) to vipers y o u know —I would merely put it to ,

”
you r own goo d feeling you know said Mr Sampson in , ,
.
,
rather l ame conclusion .
Mrs W i l fe r s baleful stare at the young gentleman in

.
’
acknowledgment of his obliging interference was of such a

nature that Miss Lavinia burst into tears and caught him ,
round the neck for his protection .
‘ ”
My own u nnatural mother screamed the young lady , ,
wants to annihilate George But you shan t be annihilated ’

,
George I ll die first !

.
’ ”
Mr Sampson in the arms of his mistress still struggled

.
, ,
“
to shake his head at Mrs Wilfer and to remark With .
,
°
every sentiment of respect for you you know ma am — vipers , ,

’
’ ”
really doesn t do you credit .
“
You Shall not be annihilated George ! cried Miss ,
”
Lavinia Ma shall destroy me first and t hen she ll be con ’

'
.
,
tented Oh oh oh ! Have I lured George from his happy

“
.
, ,
what has passed I am sure Ma wil l tell Pa that he may tell
,
B ella we shall all be glad to see her and her husband .

”
Mr Sampso n said he was sure of it too ; murmuring h o w

.
eminently he respected Mrs Wilfer and ever m u st and ever .

, ,
wo u ld Never more eminently he added than after what

.
, ,
had passed .
Far be it from me , said Mrs Wilfer making deep .

,
proclamation fro m he r corner to run counter to the feelings ,
of a child of mine an d of a Youth Mr Sampson hardly, ,

”
.
“
seemed to like that word wh o is the O bject of her maiden ,
preference I may feel — nay know — that I have been deluded

.
,
and deceived I may feel — nay kn ow — that I have been set

.
,
aside and passed over I may feel — nay know — that after .
,
having so far overcome my repugnance towards Mr and Mrs . .
Bo th u as to receive them under this roof and to consent to ,

“
you r da u ghter Bella s here turning to her husband ’
,
re
”
,
”
siding u nder t h eirs it were well if your daughter Bella
, ,
“
again t u rn i ng to her husband had profite d in a worldly ,
point of V iew by a co n nexion so distasteful SO disreputabl e ,

.
I may feel — nay know — that in un iting herself to Mr Roke

,
.
smith s h e has uni ted hers e l f to one who is in spite of shallow ,
Sophistry a Mendicant
,
An d I may feel well assured that .
”
your da u ghter Bella aga i n turning to her husband does
, ,
not exalt her family by beco ming a Mendi cant s bride Bu t ’

.
”
I suppress what I feel and say nothing of it ,
.
Mr Sampson murmured that this was the sort of thing

.
y o u might expect fro m one who had ever i n her own family
been an example and never an outrage And ever more so .
(Mr Sa m pson added with some degree of O bscurity) and

.
, ,
never more so than in and through what had passed He

, .
must take the liberty of adding that what was true of the ,
mother was true of the youngest daughter and that he ,
co u ld never forget the to u ching feelings that the conduct of

both had awakened within him In conclusion he did hope .
,
’
that there wasn t a man with a beating heart who was
capable of something that remained u n d e s c r i b e d f i n c o n s e
of Miss Lavini s stopping as he reeled in h i ’
q u e n c e a h i m s
speech .
“
Th erefore R W said Mrs Wilfer resuming her dis
,
. .
,
.
,
“
course and turning to her lord again let your d aughter ,
”
Bella come when she will and she will be received So ,
.
,
after a short pause and an air of having taken medicine in it

, ,
so will her husband .

M O RAL GR AND E UR O F THE W IL F E R FAMILY 791
“
And I beg Pa said Lavinia ,
that you will not tell
, ,
Bella what I have undergone It can do no good and it .

,
”
might cause her to reproach herself
My dearest girl urged Mr Sampson
.
“ “
she ought to
,
”
.
,
know it .
NO George said Lavini a in a tone of resolute self denial

, , ,
”
-
.
No d earest George let it be buried in oblivion

, ,
.
“ ”
Mr Sampson considered that too noble
. .
“ ”
Nothing is too noble dearest George returned Lavinia , , .
An d Pa I h Ope you wi ll be careful not to refer before

, ,
Bella if you can help it to my engagement to George

, , .
It might seem like reminding her of her having cast herself ,
away And I hope Pa that you will think i t e qu a l ly right

.
, ,
’
to avoid mentioning George s rising prospects when Bella is
present It might seem like taunting her with her own poor
.
fortunes Let me ever remember that I am her yo u nger

.
sister and ever spare her pain ful contrasts which could not
, ,
but wound her sharply .

”
Mr Sampson expressed his belief that such was th e de

.
m e a n o u r of Angels Miss La v vy replied with solemni ty

.
NO dearest George I am but too well aware that I am

,
“
, ,
”
merely human .
Mrs Wilfer for her part s till fu rther improve d the

.
, ,
occasion by S itting with her eyes fastened on her husband ,
l i ke two great black note s of interrogation severely inquiring , ,
Are y o u look i ng i nto your breast ? Do you deserve your

blessings 9 Can you lay your hand upon your heart and say
that you are wo rthy of so hysterical a daughter 9 I do not
ask yo u if you are worthy of such a wife — put Me out
of the question — but are you s u fi c i e n tl y conscious of a n d , .
thankful for the pervading moral grandeu r of the family

,
S pectacle on which you are gazing 9 These inquiries proved

very harassing to R W wh o besides being a little disturbed
. .
, ,
by wine was in perpetual terror of comm itting himself by

,
the utteran c e of stray words that would betray h i s guilty

foreknowledge However the scene being over and — all
.
, ,
things considered — well over h e sought refuge in a doze ; ,
which gave his lady immense offence .
“
Can you think O f your daughter Bella an d sleep 9 Sh e ,
”
disdainfully inquired .
“
To which he mildly answered Yes I think I can m y , , ,
dear.
”
“ “
Then said Mrs Wilfer with solemn indignation
, . I , ,
woul d recommend you if you have a human feelin g to reti re , ,
”
to bed .
“
Thank you my dear he replied ; I think it i s the , ,
”
best place for me And with these unsympathetic words .
very gladly withdrew .
Within a few weeks afterwards the Mendicant s bride ,

’
(arm i n arm with the Mendicant) came to tea in fulfilment

- -
,
of an engagement made through the father An d the way .
’
in which the Mendicant s bride dashed at the u nassailable
position so considerately to be held by Miss La v vy and ,
scatte red the whole of the works i n all directions in a

moment was triumphant ,
.
“ ”
Dearest Ma cried Bella ru nn i ng into the room with a
, ,
radiant face “
how do you do dearest Ma ?
, An d then ,
”
embraced her j oyously “

An d La vv y darling how do y ou .
,
’
do and how s George Sampson and how is he getting on
, , ,
and when are you going to be married and how rich are ,
you going to grow 9 You must tell me all about it La v vy ,
dear immediately John love kiss Ma and La vv y and

,
.
, ,
then we shall all be at home and comfortable .
Mrs Wilfer stared but was helpless Miss Lavinia stare d

.
, .
,
but was helpless Apparently with no compunction and .

,
assuredly with no ceremony Bella tossed her bonnet away , ,
and sat d own to make the tea .
Dearest Ma and La v vy you both take sugar I know , , .
And Pa (you good little Pa) you don t take milk John
’
, , .
does I didn t before I was married but I do n ow because

.
’
John does John dear did you kiss Ma and La vv y ? Oh

.
, ,
you did Quite correct John dear ; but I didn t see y ou d o ,

’
it so I asked Cut some bread and butter John that s a

,
.
, ,
’
love Ma likes it doubled And now you mu st tell me

dearest M
. .
,
a and L a vv y upon your words and honours !

didn t you for a moment —j ust a moment — think I was a
,
’
dreadful little wretch when I wrote to say I had ru n

”
away ?
’
Before Mrs Wilfer could wave her gloves the Mendicant s
.
,
bride in her merriest a ffectionate manner went on again .
“
I think it must have made you rather cross dear Ma ,
an d Lav vy and I know I deserved that you should be very

,
cross But you see I had been such a heedless heartless

‘
.
,
creature and h a d led you so to expect that I should marry

,
for money and so to make sure that I was incapable of

,
’
marry ing for love that I thought you couldn t believe me ,
.
79 4
f
OUR MUTUAL F RI E ND
'
’
An d I won t said John with a very expressive look of
,
”
,
admiration around him Spe ak a word now ! ,

”
She lai d her laughin g cheek upon his breast to than k him ,
and said looking at the rest of them sideways out of her

,
“
bright eyes : I ll go further Pa and Ma and La vv y John ’
don t s uspect i t—h e had no idea of i t— but I quite love

.
,
’
him ! ”
Even Mrs Wilfer relaxed under the in fluence of her

.
married daughter and seemed in a maj estic manner to im ply ,
remotely that if R W had been a more deservi ng obj ect . .

,
she too might have condescended to come down from her

pedestal for his beguil ement Miss Lavi nia on the other .
,
hand had strong doubts O f the policy of the course O f treat

ment and whether it might not spoil Mr Sampson if ex
,
.
, _
,
perimented o n in the case of that young gentleman R W . . .
himself was for hi s part c on v i n c e d th a t he was father of

on e of the most charmin g of girls and that Rok e s m i th was ,
the most favo u red of men which opinion if propounded to ,
h i m Ro k e s m i th wo u l d probably not have con tested

,
.
x
The newly married pai r left early so that they might
-
,
walk at leisure to their S tarting place from London for -

,
Greenwich At first they were very cheerfu l and talked

.
much but after a while Bella fancied that her husband was ,
turning somewhat thoughtful So she asked him .
“
John dear what s the matter ? ,
’
Matter my love ? ,
”
‘
Won t you tell me said Bella look i ng up into h is fa ce
’
, ,
what yo u are thinking of ?

There s not much in the thought my soul I was think
’
, .
ing whether you wouldn t like me to be rich 9 ’
You rich John 9 repeated Bella sh rink i ng a little

, ,
.
I mean really rich Say as rich as Mr Boffin You

, .
,
. .
would like that 9

“
I Should be al most afraid to try John dear Was he ,
.
m u ch the be tter for his wealth 9 Was I much the better

for the little part I once had in it 9
But all people are not the worse for riches my own ,
.
Most people ? Bella musingly suggested with raised ”
eyebrows .
“
Nor even most people it may be hoped If you were ,
.
rich for instance y o u would have a great power of doing

, ,
good to others .
”
“ “
Yes s i r for instance Bella playfully rej oined ; but
, , ,
B E LL A I s NOT P OO R 7 95
sh ould I exercise the power for instance ? An d again sir , , ,
for instance should I at the same time have a great power , ,
of doing harm to myself ?

“
Laughing and pressing her arm he retorted : But still , ,
again for instance would you exercise that power 9

I don t know said Bella thoughtfully Shaking her head
’
, , .
’
I hope not I think not But it s so easy to h ope not
. .
,
and think not without the riches , .
Why don t you say my darl i ng— instead of that phrase

’
bein g poor ? he asked looking earnestly at her ,

.
Why don t I say being poor ? Because I am not poo r

’
, .
’
Dear John it s not possible that you suppose I think we are
,
poor ? ”
I do my love !
,
Oh John
,
Understand me sweetheart I know that I am rich , .
beyond all wealth in having you but I think of you and ,
thi n k for you In such a dress as you are wearing now you
.
,
first charmed me and in no dress cou ld yo u ever look to

, ,
my thinking more graceful or more beautiful But you

,
.
have admired m any finer dresses this very day ; and is it

not natural that I wish I could give them to you 9
It s very nice that yo u should wish it John It brings
’
,
.
these tears of gratefu l pleasure into my eyes to hear you say ,
so with such tenderness But I don t want them .

’
.
”
“ ”“
Again he pursued we are now walking through th e
, ,
muddy streets I love those pretty feet so dearly that I feel

.
as if I could not bear the dirt to soil the sole of you r

shoe Is it not natural that I wish you could ride in a
.
carriage 9
‘
It s very nice said Bella glancing downward at the
’
, ,
“
feet in question to know that you admire them so much
, ,
John dear and since you do I am sorry that these shoes are a
, ,
full Si z e too large B ut I don t want a carriage believe me

.
_
’
, .
”
You would like one if you could have one Bella 9 , ,
I shouldn t like it for its own sake half so we l l as such

’
a wish for it Dear John your wishes are as real to me a s

.
,
the wishes in th e F airy sto ry that were all fulfilled as soon ,
as spoken Wish me e ve th i n g that you can wish for the

.
woman you dearly love and I have as good as got it John , ,

.
I have better than got it John ,
They were not the less happy for such talk and home ,
was not the less home for coming after it Bella was fast .
developing a perfect geni us for home Al l the loves and .
g r aces seemed (her husband thought) to have taken domest ic

service with her and to help her to make home engagi ng
, .
Her married life glided happil y on She was all alone .
all day for after an early breakfast her husband repaired

,
every morning to the City and did not return unt i l their ,
late dinner hour He was in a China house he explained

.
,
”
to Bella : which she found quite satisfactory wit hout pu r ,
s u ing the China house into min u ter details than a wholesale
vision of tea rice odd smelling si l ks carved boxes and
, ,
-
, ,
tight eyed people in more than double soled shoes with

- -
,
their pigtails pulling their heads of hair o ff pa i nt ed on trans ,
parent porcelain She always walked with her husband to

.
the railroad and was always t h ere again to meet h i m ; her

,
old coquettish ways a little sobered down (but not much ) ,
and her dress as daintily m anaged as if she managed nothing

else But John gone to b u siness and Bella returned home
.
, ,
the dress would be lai n aside trim little wrappers and ,
aprons would be substituted and Bella putting back h er , ,
hai r with both hands as if she were making the most busi ,
ness li k e arrange m ents for going dramatically distracted

-
.
,
would enter o n the household affairs of the day Such .
weighing and mixi n g and chopping and grating such dust ,
i n g and washing and polishing such s n ipp i ng and weed i ng ,
and trowel ling and other s m all gardening such making and ,
me n ding and folding and airing such diverse arrangements , ,
and abo ve a ll su ch severe study ! F or Mrs J R who had . . .

,
never been wo n t to do too much at home as Miss B W . .

,
was under the constant nec essity of referring for advice and
support to a sage volume entitled The Complete British
Fa m ily Housewi fe which she would sit consult i ng with her
, ,
elbo ws on the table and her temples on her hands like some ,
perplexed enchantress poring over the Black Art This .

,
principally because the Complete British Housewife h o w ,
ever sound a Bri t on at heart was by no means an expert ,
B rito n at expressing herself with clearness in the Britis h

tong u e an d sometimes might have issued her directions to
,
equal p urp ose in the Ka m s k a tc h a n language In any crisis .
“
of this nature Bell a would suddenly exclaim aloud
,
Oh , ,
you ri diculous old thing what do you mean by that ? You ,
m us t have been drinking ! And having made this mar ”
g i n a l n ote would try the Housewife again with all her

, ,
d i mpl es screwed into an expression of p rofound research .

7 98 OUR MUTU AL FRI E ND
Do you know John dear said Bella taking him by a , , ,
“
button of his coat that I sometimes at odd moments, ,
don t lau gh John please

’
, , .
Nothing sho ul d induce John to do it when she asked him ,
not to do it .
That I somet i mes th ink John I feel a little seriou s , .
Are you too much alone my darling 9 ,
Oh dear no John ! The time is so short that I have

, ,
not a moment too much in the week .

”
Why serious my life then 9 When serious 9 , ,
When I laugh I think said Bella laughing as she ,

”
, ,
laid her head upon his shoulder You wouldn t believe .

’
sir that I feel serious now 9 But I do

, And she laughed .
”
agai n an d something glistened in her eyes

-
.
“
Would you like to be rich pet ? he asked her coax ,
”
i n gly .
’
Rich John How c a n you ask such goose s questions 9
,
DO you regret anything my love 9 ,
Regret anything ? No Bella confidently answered .
But then su ddenly changi ng she said bet ween laughing an d

, , .
“
gl i stening Oh y e s I do though I regret Mrs Boffi n , ,
. . .
”
“
I too regret that separation very much But perhaps
, , .
it i s only temporary Perhaps things may so fal l out as

that you may sometimes see her agai n —as that we may
.
,
sometimes see her again Bella might be very anxiou s on .

”
the subject but she scarc e ly seemed so at the moment

, .
With an absent air she was investigating that button o n ,
h e i husband s coat when Pa came i n to spend the eveni ng

’
.
,
Pa had h is special chair and his special corner reserved for

h i m o n all occasions and— without disparagement of his ,
domestic j oys — was far happier there than anywhere It was .
always pleasa ntly droll to s ee Pa and Bella together but on

this present evening her husband thought her more than
u sually fantastic with him .
“ “
You are a very good little boy said Bella to come , ,
unexpectedly as soon as you could get out of school An d .
how have they used you at school to d ay you dear ? ,

“
Well my pet replied the cherub smiling an d rubbing
, ,
”
,
his hands as she s a t him down i n hi s cha i r I attend two

, ,
schools There s the M i nci ng Lane establishment and there s

.
’
,
’
' ”
you r mother s Academy Which might you mean my dear 9 .
,
“ ”
Both said Bella , .
Both eh ? Why to say the truth both have taken a

, , ,
A G RUE BY CH ERU B 7 99
little out o f me to d ay my dear but that was to be expected , , .
There s no royal road to learning and wha t is life b u t

’
learning 9
“
And what do you do with yourself when you have got
your learning by heart you silly child 9 ,
“
Why then my dear said the cherub after a littl e con
, , ,
“
sideration I suppose I die
, .
”
“ “
You are a very bad boy retorted Bella to tal k about , ,
dismal things and be out of spirits .

”
“
My Bella rej oined her father I am not out of spirits
,
”
,
.
I am as gay as a lark Which his face confirmed .

”
.
“
Then if you are sure and certain it s n o t you I suppose ’
it must be I said Bella so I won t do so any more

,
” ’
.
John dear we must give this little fellow his supper you
, ,
kno w .
“
Of course we must my d arling ,
.
He has been grubbing and grubbing at school said ,

’
Bella l ooking at her father s hand and lightly slapping it
, ,
till he s not fit to be see n

’
Oh what a grubby child .
“ “
Indee d my dear said her father I was going to ask to
, ,
”
,
b e all owed to wash my hands only you find me out so soon

”
.
,
“
Come here sir ! cried Bella ta king him by the front of
,
”
,
“
his coat come here and be washed directly You are not
,
.
to be tru sted to do i t for yourself Come here sir ! .

,
”
The cherub to his genial amu sement was accordingly con

, ,
d ucted to a little was hing room where Bella soape d his face -
,
and rubbed his face and soaped his hands and rubbe d his,
hands and splashed him and rinsed him and towell ed him
, ,
until he was as red as beetroot even to his ve r y ears Now ,
you must be brushed and combed sir said Bella busily , , , .
Hold the li ght John Shut your eyes sir and let me
,
.
, ,
take hold of your chin Be good directly and do as you .

,
are told
Her father being more than will ing to obe y she dressed his ,
h a ir in her most elaborate manner brushing it out straight , ,
parting it winding it over her fingers stick i ng it Up on end

, , ,
and constantly fal ling back on John to get a good look at

th e e ffect of it Who always received her on his disengaged
.
arm and detained her whil e the patient cherub stood wait
, ,
ing to be finished .
There said Bella when she had at last completed the ,
final touches Now you are something l i ke a genteel boy

“
Put your jacket on and come and have your supper, .

”
8o o OU R MUTUAL F RI E ND
The cherub investing himself with his coat was led back to
his corner— where but for having no egotism in his plea sa nt
,
nature he would have answered well enough for that radiant

,
though self suffi cient boy Jack Ho m er— Bella with her own
-
,
hands laid a cloth for him and brought him his supper on a ,
tray .
“
Stop a mo m ent said she we must keep h is little
“
,
”
clothes clean and tied a napkin under his chin in a ver y ,

"
methodical mann er .
While he took his supper Bella sat by him sometimes , ,
ad m onishing him to hold his fo rk by the handle li ke a polite ,
child and at other times carving for him or pouring out his
, ,
drink F antastic as it all was and accustomed as Sh e ever

.
,
had been to make a plaything of her good father ever ,
delighted that she should put h i m to that account still there ,
was an occasional something on Bella s part that was new ’

.
It could not be said that Sh e was less playful whimsical o r , ,
natural than she always had been but it seemed her

, ,
husband thought as if there were some rather graver reason

,
than he had supposed for what she had so lately said and as ,
if throughout al l this there were glimpses of an underlying

, ,
seriousness .
It was a circumstance in support of thi s view of the case ,

’
that when she had lighted her father s pipe and mix ed him ,
his gla ss of grog she sat down on a Stool between her father
,
and her husband leaning her a r m upon the latter and was
, ,
very quiet So quiet that when her father rose to take his
.
,
leave she looked round with a start as if she had forgotten

, ,
his b eing there .
You go a little way with Pa John 9 ,
Yes my dear Do you ? ,

.
I have not written to Lizzie He x a m si nce I wrote and

told her that I rea lly had a lover— a whole one I have .
often thought I would like to tell her h ow right she was

when she pretended to read in th e live coals that I would go
through fire and water for him I am in the humour to tell
her so to night ~
.
’ ”
John and I ll s tay at home and do it
-
, , .
“ ”
You are tired .
Not at all tired John dear but in the humour to write , ,
to Lizzie Good night dear Pa Good night you dear

.
,
.
, ,
good gentle Pa !
,
”
Left to herself she sat down to write and wrote Lizzie a

, ,
long letter She had but completed it and read it over when
.
,
“
her hu sband came back You are j ust in time sir said .
, ,
”
8 02 OU R MUTUAL F RI END
Let them come my dearest , .
Are y o u sure John dear ; ar e you absolutely certain in,
your innermost heart of hearts 9

“
Whi ch I s not i n my keepin g he rej oined
No J ohn but the key i s —Are y ou absolut ely certain
, .
.
, ,
that down at the botto m of that heart of hearts which you ,
have given to me as I have given mine to you there is no ,
reme m brance that I was once very mercenary 9

Why if there were no remembran c e in me of the t i me
,
you speak of he softl y asked her with his lips to hers

.
, ,
could I love you quite as w e ll a s I do could I have in the

calendar of my life th e brighte st of its days coul d I when
e ver I look a t your dear face or hear your dear voice see ,
, ,
and hear my noble champion 9 It can never have be en that .
which made you serious darling 9 ,

.
NO John it wasn t that and still less was it Mrs Boffin

,
’
, .
,
tho ugh I love her Wait a moment and I ll go on with the .

,
’
lectu r e Give m e a moment because I like to cry for j o y

.
, .
I t s so delicio us John dea r to cry for j o y

’ ”
.
, ,
She did so on his neck and still clinging there laughed a , , ,

“
little when she said I think I am ready now for Th irdly , ,
”
Jo hn .
I am ready for Thirdly said J ohn wh atever i t is , , ‘

.
“ ”
I believe John pu rsued Bella that you beli eve that I
, , ,
believe
My dear ch i ld cried her husband gai ly what a , ,
”
quantity of believing !
“
Is n t th e re 9 ’
said Bella w i th another laugh I never , . .
’
knew s uch a quantity ! It s like verbs in an exercise ,
.
B ut I can t get on with l e ss believing I ll try again

’
I ’
b e li e ve ~
. .
,
d ea r John that y o u believe that I be lieve that we

, ,
h av e as much money as we requi re and that we want for ,

”
nothing .
“
I t is st rictly true Be l l a ,
.
But if our money should by any means be rendered not

s o much — if we had to stint ourselves a little in purchases
f
tha t we can a ford to m ake n o w— would you still have the -
same confidence i n my be ing quite contented John 9

“
Precisely the same confidence my soul , .
.Tha nk you John dear thousands upon th ousands of , .

,
times And I may take it for granted no doubt with a

.
, ,
”
“
little faltering that you w ould be qu ite as contented
,
yourself John But y e s I know I may

,
. F or kno wing , , .
A SHI P W ITH PR E CI O U S F R E IGHT 80 3
that I should be so how surely I may know that you would
,
be so you wh o are so much stronger and firmer an d m ore , ,
reasonable and more generou s than I am .
“
Hush ! said h e r husband I must not hear that You
”
, .
are all wrong there though otherwise as right as can be

, .
And now I am brought to a little piece of news my dearest , ,
that I mi ght have told you earlier in the evening I have .
strong reason for confidently believing that we shall never be

in the receipt of a smaller income than our present income .
”
She m ight have Shown herself more interested in the

intelligence ; but she had returned to the investigation of
the coat button that had engaged her attention a few hours
-
before and scarc ely seemed to heed what he sa id

,
.
And now we have got to the bottom of it at last cried ,

“
h e r husband rallying her ,
and this is the thing that made
,
”
you serious ?
“
No dear said Bella twistin g the button and Shaki n g
, , ,
“ ’ ”
her head it wasn t this
,
.
Why then Lord bless this little wife of mi ne there s a

, ,
’
Fourthly exclaimed John .
“
This worried me a little and so did Secondly said , ,
“
Bella Occupied with the button but it was quite another
sort of serio u sness—a much deepe r an d quieter sort of
, ,
seriousness —that I spoke of John dear ,

.
”
As he bent his face to hers she raised hers to meet it and , ,
laid her l ittle right hand on his eyes and kept it there ,
.
Do you remember John on the day we were married , , ,

’
Pa s speaking of the ships that might be sail ing towards u s
from the unknown seas 9
”
Perfectly my darli ng ! ,
I think among them there is a ship

upon the o c e an bringi n g to you and me
a li ttle baby, J ohn .
”
C HAP T ER VI
A CRY FO R HE LP
THE Paper Mill had stopped work for the night and the ,
paths and roads i n its neighbourhood were sprinkled with

cluster s of people going home from their day s labour in it ’
.
There were men women and chil dren i n the groups and
, , ,
there was no want o f li vely colour to flutter in the gentle

evening wind The mingling of various voices and the sound
.
of laughter made a cheerful impress ion upon the ear ,
analogo u s to that of the fl u tterin g colours upon the e ye .
Into the sheet of water reflecting the flush ed sky in t h e

foreground of the living picture a knot of urch ins were ,
casting stones and watching the expansion of the ripplin g

,
circles So i n the rosy even i n g one might watch the ever

widening beauty of th e landscape —beyon d the newly released
.
, ,
—
-
workers wending home —beyond the silver river be yond the

deep green fields of corn so prospering that the loite rers in
, ,
their narro w threads of pathway see med to float immerse d

breast high — beyond the hedgerows and th e clumps of trees
-
beyond the windmills on the ridge — away to where the sky

appeared to meet the earth as if there were no immensity of ,
Space between mankin d and Heaven .
It was a Saturday evening and at such a time the village ,
dogs always much more interested in the doings of humanity

,
than in the affairs of their own S pecies were particularly ,

’
active At the general shop at the butcher s and at the
.
,
public house they evinced an in quiring spirit never to be

-
,
satiated Their especial interest in the publi c house would

.
-
see m to imply some la te nt rakishness in the canine character

for little was eaten there and they having no taste for beer
, ,
o r tobacco (Mrs Hubbard s dog is said to have smoked

.
’
b u t proof is wa nting) could only have been attracted by

,
sympathy with loose convivial habits Moreover a most .

,
wretched fiddle played within ; a fiddle so unutterably vile ,
that one lean long bodied c u r with a better ear than the rest
-
, ,
enough to get through life tolerably to your satisfaction you ,
have got the better of me Man as I am and Mutton as , ,
you are !
A rustle in a field beyond the hedge attracted his attention .
’ ”
What s here t o do ? he asked himsel f lei surely go i ng ,
“
towards the gate and looking over No j ealous paper .
miller ? No pleasures of the chase i n this part of th e

count ry ? Mostly fishin g herea bouts ! ”
The field had been newly mown and there were yet the ,
marks of the scythe on the yellow gree n ground and the .

-
,
track of wheels where the hay had been carried F ollowing .
the tracks with his eyes the view closed with the new hay ,
rick in a corner .
No w if he had gone on to the hayrick and gone roun d ,
it ? But say that the event was to be as the event fe l l

_
out and how idl e are such suppositions ! Besides if he

, ,
had gone what is there of warning in a bargeman lying on

his face
“
A b i rd flying to the hedge was all he thought about it ,
and came back and resumed his walk ,

.
If I had not a reliance on her be i ng t ru thful said ,

“
Eugene a fter taki n g some half dozen turns
,
I should begin -
,
to think she had given me the slip for the second t i me But .
she promised and she is a girl of her word

, .
”
Turn i ng again at the water lilies he saw her coming and -

, ,
advanced to meet her .
“
I was sa ying to myself L izzie that you were sure to , ,
'
come though you were late

, .
“
I had to linger through the village as if I had no object
before me and I had to Speak to several people in p a ssing
,
along Mr W r a yb u r n
Are the lads of the village—and the ladies — such scandal
. .
,
“
mongers ? he ask ed as he took her hand and drew it

”
through his arm .
She submitted to walk slowly on with down cast eyes ,

.
He put her hand to his lips and Sh e quietly drew it away ,

.
“
Will you walk beside me Mr W r a y b u r n and not touch ,
.
,
me F or his arm was already S tealing round her waist .
S he stopped again and gave him an earnest supplicat ing

,
“
look . Well Lizzie well ! said he in an easy way though
, ,
”
, ,
“ ’
ill at ease with himself don t be unhappy don t be r e ,
’
,
”
pr oa c h fu l .
“
I cannot help being unhappy but I do not mean to be ,
EU G ENE M EETS HE R BY THE RI V E R 80 7
reproachful Mr W r a yb u r n I implore you to go away from

. .
,
this neighbourhood to morrow morning -

.
“ ”
Lizzi e Lizzie Lizzie ! he remonstrated
,
As well be
, .
reproachful as wholly unreasonable I can t go away .

’
.
”
Why not
F aith ! said Eugene in his airil y c a ndid manner
”
.
Because you won t let m e Mind ! I don t mean to be ’ ’ “
reproachful either I d on t complain that you design to .

’
keep me here But you do it you do it .

‘
,
.
“
Wil l you walk beside me and not touch me for his , ,
arm was coming abou t her again ; while I Speak to you

“
very seriously Mr W r a y b u r n ? ,
.
”
“
I will do a nything within the limits of possibility fo r ,
”
you Liz zie he answered with pleasant gaiety as be folded
, ,
“
h i s arms See here Napoleon Buonaparte at St Helena
. . .
“
When you spoke to me as I came from the Mill the
night before last said Lizzie fixing her eyes upon him with
,
”
,
a look of supplication which troubled his better nature ,

“
you t old me that you were mu ch surprised to see me ,
and that you were on a solita r y fishing excursion Was it .
true ?
“ “
It was not replied Eugene composedly i n the least
, ,
true I came here because I had in formation that I sho u ld

.
find y o u here .
Can you i magine why I left London Mr W r a y b u r n ,

.
I am afraid Lizzie h e openly answered ,

“
that you left ,
”
London to get rid of me It is not flattering to my Self love .

' -
,
but I am afraid you did .
I did .
”
”
How could you be so cruel ?
Oh Mr W r a y b u r n she answered suddenly break i ng
,
.
,
”
,
“
into tears is the cruelty on my side
, Oh Mr W r a yb u r n , .
,
Mr W r a yb u r n is there n o cruelty i n you r being here

.
,
to night ?
-
”
In the name of a ll that s good —and that is not conjuring

“ '
you in my own name — for Heaven knows I am not good

“
sa id Eugene don t be distressed !
,
’
What else can I be when I know the distance and the ,
di fference between us ? What else can I be when to tell ,
me why you cam e here is to put me t o shame ! said Lizzie ,
covering her face .
He looked at her with a real sent i ment of remorseful

tenderness and pity It was not strong enough to impel .
him to s ac rifice himself and Spare her but it was a strong ,
emotion .
“
Lizzie ! I never thought before that there was a woman ,
in the world who c ould affect me so much by saying so little .
’
But don t be h ard in your construction of me You don t .
’
know what my state of mind towards you is You d on t .

’
know how you hau nt me and bewilder me You don t know .

’
how th e cursed carelessness that is over o ific i o u s in helping -
me at every other turning of my life W O N T help me here ,

’
. .
You have struck it dead I think and I sometimes almost , ,
wish you had stru ck me dead along with it .

”
She had not been prepared for such passionate expressions ,
and they awakened some natural Sparks of fem inine pride

.
and j oy in her breast To consider wrong a s he was that .

, ,
h e could care so much for her and that she had the power to ,
move him so
“
It grieves you to see me distressed Mr “fr a yb u r n ; it ,
.
grieves me to see you distressed I don t reproach you .

’
.
Indeed I don t reproach y o u You have not felt this as

’
.
I feel it being so di fferent from me a n d beginning from

, ,
another point of view You have not thought But I entreat . .
you to think now thin k now ! ,

”
“
What am I to think of ? asked Eugene bitterly .
”
Think of me .
’
Tell me how n ot to think of you Lizzie and you ll , ,
change me altogether .
“
I don t mean in that way Think of me as bel onging
’
.
,
to another station an d quite cut o ff from you in honour

,
.
Remember that I have no protector near me unless I have ,
o ne in your noble heart Respect m y good name If you . .
feel towards me in one particular as you might if I was a

, ,
lady give me the full claims of a lady upon your generous

,
behaviou r I am removed fr om you and your family by bei n g

.
a working girl How tru e a gentleman to be as considerate

.
of me as if I was removed by being a Queen

He would have been base ind eed to have stood untouched
by her appeal His face expressed contrition an d indecision
.
as he asked
Have I injured you so mu ch L izzie ? ,
No no You may set me quite right I don t spe ak

,
. .
’
of the past Mr W r a y b u r n but of the present and the

,
.
,
future .Are we n o t here now be cause through two days ,
you have followed me so closely where there are so many

81 0 O UR M UTU A L FRI END
o ff from you would you have made this appe al to m e to

,
leave you
“ ’ ’
I don t know I don t know D on t ask me Mr Wray
, .
’
,
.
”
b u rn Let me go back
. .
“
I swear to you Lizzie you sh all go directly I swear to
, ,
’
you you shall go alone I ll n ot accompany you I ll not
, .
’
,
”
follow you if you will reply
, .
“
How can I Mr W r a y b u r n ? How can I tell you what
'
.
,
I should have d one if you had n ot been what you are

_
,
“
If I had not bee n what you make me out to be he ,
“
str u ck in skilfully changing the form of words would you
, ,
still have hated me

0 Mr W r a yb u r n
. she r eplied appealingly and weeping
, , ,
you know me better than to think I do

“
If I had not been what you make m e out to be Lizzie , ,
would you still have been indi fferent to me

“
0 Mr W r a y b u r n Sh e a n s we r e d a s before you know
”
.
, ,
me better than that too

There was Someth i ng in the attitude of her whole figure
-
as he s upported it and she h u n g h e r head which besought

, ,
him to be merciful and not force her to disc l ose her heart .
He was not merciful with her and he made her do it ,

.
“
If I know you bette r than quite to believe (unfortunate
d og though I am !) that you hate me or even that you are ,
wholly indifferent to me Lizzie let me know so much more , ,
from yourself before we separate Let me know how you .
would have dealt with me if you had regarded me as being

what you would have considered on equal te rms With _
.
you
It is impossible Mr W r a yb u rn How can I think of
.
. .
, ,
you as being on equal terms with me ? If my mind co u ld

p u t you on equal terms with me you coul d not be yourself ,
.
How could I remember then the night when I first saw you , , ,
and when I went out of the room becau se you looked at me

so attentively ? Or the night that passed into the morning
,
when you broke to me that my father was dead ? Or the ,
nights when you u sed to come to see me at my next home ? .
Or your having known how uninstructed I was and having

, ,
caused me to be taught better ? Or my having so looked ,
u p to you and wondered at you a n d at first thought you so ,

”
good to be at all mindful of me ?
‘
“
Only at fir s t thought me so good L izzie ? What did
’
,
‘
you think me after at first So bad ?
814 O UR MUTU A L F RIE ND
Yet I have gained a wonderful power over her, too let ,
her be as much in earnest as she will

The reflectio n brought back the yielding of her face and
form as she had drooped under his gaze Contemplating .
the reproduction h e seemed to see for the second time in , , ,
the appeal and in the confession of weakness 3 littl e fear ,

. .
“
And she loves me And SO earnes t a character must be .
very earnest in that pa s sion She cannot choose for herself .
to be strong in this fancy wavering i n that and weak in , ,
the other She must go through with her nature as I

.
,
m u st go through with mine If min e exacts its pains and .
”
penalties all round so must hers I suppose , ,
.
Pursuing the inquiry into his own nature h e thought , ,
Now if I married her

, If outfaci n g the absurdity O f .
,
th e situation in correspon d ence with M R F I astonished . . .

,
M R F to the utmost extent of his respected powers by

. . .
,
informing him that I had married her how would M R F ,

. . .
‘ ’
reason with th e legal mind ? You wouldn t m a r r y for

some money an d some station because you were frightfully ,
likely to become bored Are you less frightfully likely to .
become bored marrying fo r n o money and n o station ? Ar e

,
you sure of yourself ? L egal mind i n spite of forensi c p r o ,
tes tation s must secretly admit Good reasoning on the part

, ,
of M R F Not sure of myself

. . . .
In the very act of call i ng this tone of l evity to his aid ,
he fel t it to be pr ofli g a te and worthless and asserted her ,
against it .
“
An d yet said Eugene, I should like to see the fellow
,
(Mortimer excepted ) who would undertake to tell me that

this was not a real sentiment o n my part won out of me by ,
h e r beau ty and her worth in spite of myself and that I , ,
would not be true to her I Should particularly l i ke to see .
the fellow to night who would tell m e so or who woul d tell

-
,
me anything that could be construed to her disadvantage ;

for I am wearily out of sorts with one W r a yb u r n who cuts a
sorry fig u re and I woul d far rather be out of sorts with some
,
’
body else Eugene Eugene Eugene this is a bad business
.
, , ,
.
Ah ! So go the Mortimer Lightwood bells and they sound ,
melanc h oly to night -

.
”
Strolling on he thought of somethi ng else to take himself

,
“
to task for Where is the analogy Brute Beast he said
.
, ,
”
impatiently between a woman whom your father coolly

,
finds ou t for you and a woman who m you have fo u nd out

UN EASY R E FL E CTI O N S 81 5
fo r yourself and have ever drifted after with more and more
,
of constancy since yo u fi rst set eyes upon her ? As s ! Can

you reason no better than that ?
But agai n he subsided into a reminiscence of his first full
kno wledge of his power j ust now and of her disclosure of her ,
heart To try no more to go away and to try her again

.
, ,
was the reckl ess conclusion it turn ed up permost And yet .
“
again Eugene Eugene Eugene this is a bad business !
, , , ,
”
And ,
I wish I coul d stop the Li gh twoo d p e a l for it sounds '
like a knell ”
Looking above he found that the young moon w

.
,
as u p a n d ,
that the stars were beginni n g to shine in th e sky from which

“
the tones of r e d and yellow were flickeri n g out in favour of ,
the calm blue of a summer night He was still by the river .
side Turnin g suddenly he met a man SO close u pon him

.
, ,
that Eugene surprised step p ed back to avoid a collision

, , , .
The man carried somethi ng over his shoul d er which might

have been a broken oar or Spar or bar and took n o n otice , , ,
of him but passed on

,
.
Halloa friend ,
said Eugene calling after h i m are you , ,
bli nd n
The man made n o reply but went his way , .
Eugene W r a y b u r n went the O pposite way wi th h i s hands ,
behind him and his purpose in his tho u ghts He pa sse d th e .
sheep and passed the gate and c a me within hearing of the

, ,
village sounds and came to th e bridge The inn where he

,
.
stayed like th e village a n d the mill was not across th e river

, , ,
but on that side of th e stream on which he walked How .
ever knowing the rushy bank and th e backwater on the

,
other Side to be a retired place and feeli n g out of humou r ,
for noise or company he crossed the bri d ge a n d sauntered

, ,
On : looking up at the stars as they seemed one by one to

be kindled i n the sky and looking down at the river as the
,
same stars seemed to b e kindled deep in the water A .
landing place overshadowed by a willow and a pl e a s u r e b oat

-
,
-
lying moored there among some stakes ca u ght his eye as he ,
passed along The spot was in such dark shadow that he

.
,
paused to make out what was there and then passed on ,
aga i n .
The rippling of the river seemed to cause a correspondent

stir in his uneasy reflections He would have laid them .
asleep if he could but they were in movement like th e, ,
stream and all tending one way with a strong current As

, .
81 6 OUR M UTU A L F RI E ND
the ripple under the moon broke u nexpectedly now and then ,
an d p alely fla s hed in a n ew Shape and with a new sound , s o

part s of his thoughts started , unbidden from the rest an d , ,
revealed their wicke d ness Out of the question to marry .
” “
,
i
her sa d Eugene and out of the question to leave her , .
The c r isis !
He had saunte red far eno ugh B efore turn ing to retrace .
h i s steps he Stopped upon the margin to look down at the

, ,
,
reflected night In an instant with a dreadful crash the

.
, ,
reflecte d night turned crooked flames Shot j aggedly across ,
the air and the moon and star s c ame bursting from the Sk y
, .
W as he struck by lightning With some incoherent half

formed thought to that e ffect he turned under the blows ,
that were blinding h i m and mashing his life and closed with ,
a mu rderer who m he caught by a red neckerchief— unless

,
the raining down O f his own blood gave it that hue .
Eugene was light active and expert ; but his arms were, ,
broken or he was pa r a l y s e d a n d could do n o more than

, , ,
hang on to the man with his head swung back so that he , ,
could see nothing but the heaving sky Afte r dra gging at .
the assail ant he fell on the ban k with him and the n there
, ,
was another gre at crash and then a Splash and all was done , ,
.
Lizzie He x a m too had avoided the noise and the Saturday

, ,
"
movement O f people in the s tr a ggli n g s tr e e t and chose to ,
walk alone by the water u ntil her tears should be dry an d ,
she could SO compose hers elf as to escape remark upon her

looking ill or unhappy on going home The peaceful serenity .
of the hour and plac e having no reproaches or evil intentions ,
within her breast to conte nd against sank healingly i nto its ,
d epths She had meditated and taken comfort She too

.
‘
.
, ,
was turning homeward When Sh e heard a strange sound ,

.
It startled her for it was like a sound of blows She stood

,
.
still and listened It sickened her for blows fell heavily and
.
'
,
c ruelly on the quiet of the night As she list ened undecide d .

, ,
all was silent As she yet listened she heard a faint groan
.
, ,
and a fall into the river .
Her old bold l ife and habit ins ta ntly I nspired her With .
out vai n waste o f breath in cry ing for help where there were
no ne to hear she ran towards the spot from which the sou nds
,
had come It lay between her and the bridge but it was
.
,
more removed from her than Sh e had thought ; the night

bein g So very quiet and sound travelling far with the help,
of the water .
81 8 O UR MUTU A L F RI E ND
Firm of look and firm of purpose she i ntently watched its ,
coming on until it was very near ; then with a tou ch u n

, ,
shi pped her sculls and crept a ft in the boat bet ween , ,
kneeling and crouching Once she let the body evade her .
, ,
n o t being sure of her grasp Twice and Sh e had seiz ed it .

,
by its bloody hair .
It was insensible if not V irtual ly dead it was mutilated , ,
and streaked the water all about it with dark red streaks .
As it coul d not help i ts e lf i t was impossible for her t o get

‘
it on board She bent over the stern to secure it with the

.
l in e and then the river and its shores rang to the terrible
,
cry she uttered .
But as if possessed by supernatural Spiri t and S trength

, ,
she lashed it safe resumed her seat and rowed in des , , ,
p e r a te l y for the nearest shall ow water where she might ru n

,
the boat aground Despe ra tely but not wildly for she kne w .
, ,
that if she l ost distin ctness of intention all was los t and ,
gone .
She ran the boat ashore went into the water released h i m , ,
from the line and by main strength lifted h i m in her arms

,
and laid him in the bottom of the boat He had fearful .
wounds upon him and she bo u n d them up with her dress ,
torn into strips Else suppos ing him to be still alive Sh e

.
, ,
foresaw that he must bleed to death before he coul d be

lande d at his inn which was the nearest place for succour ,
.
This done very rapidly she kissed h i s disfigured forehead , ,
looked up in anguish to the stars and blessed hi m and for ,

“
gave h i m if Sh e had anything to forgive
,
It was only in .
”
that instant that she though t of herself and then she thought ,
of herself only for him

No w merciful Heaven be thanked for that old time e n
.
, ,
ablin g me without a wasted moment to have got the boat

, ,
afloat agai n and to r o w back against the stream ! And

,
grant O Blessed Lord God that through p oor me he may be

, ,
raised from death and preserved to some one else to whom ,
he may be dear one day though never dearer than to me ,
She rowed hard — rowed desperately but never wil dly ,
and seldom removed her eyes from hi m in the b ottom of the

boat She had so laid him there as that Sh e might see his
.
, ‘
disfigured face ; it was so m u ch disfigured that his mother

mi ght have covered it but it was above and beyond d i s fig u r e ,
ment in her eyes .
The boat touched the edge of the patch of inn lawn ,

A M O M E NT OF A W FUL SU SP E N SE 81 9
sloping gently to the water There were l i g hts in th e .
windows but there ch a nced to be n o one out of doors She

, .
made the boat fast and again by main stre n gth took him
,
U p and never laid him down until she laid h i m down in the
,
house .
Surgeons were sent for and Sh e sat supportin g his head , .
She had oftentimes heard in d ays that were gone how doctors, ,
would l ift the hand of an insensible wounded p erson and ,
would drop it if the person were dead She waited for the .
awful moment when the doctors might lift this hand all ,
broken and bru ised and let it fall , .
The first of the surgeons came an d asked b efore proceed , ,

“
i n g to his exam i nation Who brought h i m in
,
”
I brought him in sir answered Lizzie at whom all
, , ,
present looked .
“
You my dear ? You could not lift far less carry this
, , ,
Weight
”
.
“
I think I could not, at another time sir ; but I a m su re ,
I did .
The surgeon looked at her with great attention a n d with ,
some compassion
’
Having with a grave face touched the

.
wou nd s upon the head an d the broken arms he too k th e

, ,
hand .
Oh ! would he let it drop

He appeared irresolute He did not retain it but laid it
.
,
gently down took a candle lo oked more closely at th e inj u ries

, ,
on the head and at the p u pils of the eyes Th at done h e

, .
,
replaced the candle and took the h a nd a gain Another .
surgeon then coming in the two exchanged a whisper a n d, ,
the second took the hand Neither did he let it fall at o nce
.
,
but kept it for a whil e and laid it gently dow n .
Attend to the poor girl said the first surgeon then ,

”
.
She is quite unconscious She s e es nothi n g and h e ars .
’
nothing All the better for he r ! Don t rouse her if you
.
,
can help it only move her Poor girl poor girl She must .
,
be amazingly strong of heart bu t it is much to be feared ,
that she has set her heart upon the dead Be gentle with .
her.
C HAP T ER VII
BE TTE R TO BE AB EL T HAN CAIN
DAY was breaking at Pl a s h wa te r Weir Mill Lock Stars .
were yet V isible but there was dull light in the east that
,
was not the light of night The mo on had gone down and .
,
a mist crept along the bank s of the river seen through w h ich ,
the trees were the ghosts of trees and the water was the ,
ghost of water This earth looked spectral and so did the

.
,
pale Stars : while the cold eastern glare expressionless as to ,
heat or colour with the eye of the fir m a m e n t quenched, might

,
have been likened to the stare of the dead .
Perhaps it was so likened by the lonely Bargeman standing ,
on the brink of the l o ok F or certain Bradley Headstone .

,
looked that way when a chill air came up and when it

, ,
passed on murmurin g as if it whispered something that made

,
the phantom trees and water tremble — or threaten — for fancy

might have made it either .
H e turned away and tried the Lock h ouse door It was

,
-
.
fastened on the inside .
Is he afraid of me he muttered , knocking .
Rogue Riderhood was soon rou sed and so on undrew the ,
bolt and let h i m in .
Why To th e r e s t I thou ght you had been and got lost !

,
’
Two nights away ! I a m o s t believed as you d giv me the’ ’ ’
slip and I had as good as half a mind for to advertise you

,
i n the newspapers to come for ard

’
Bradley S face t u rned so dark on this hin t that Ri derhoo d

.
deemed it expedient to soften it in to a compliment .
“
But not you governor not you he went on sto l idly
,
.
, ,
”
,
“
shaking his head F or what did I say to myself arter
.
having amused myself with that there stretch of a comic

idea as a sort of a playful game ? Why I says to myself , ,
’
He s a man 0 honour That s what I says to myself
’
.
’
.
‘
He s a man 0 double honour
’ ’
.
’
Very remarkably Riderhood put no question to him He

,
.
82 2 O UR MU TUAL FRI E ND
’
asked what O clock it was ? Riderhood told h i m it was
between two and three .
“
When are you re lieved asked Bradley .
Da y arte r to m orr ow governor -

, .
Not sooner
Not a inch so oner governor , .
O n both sid e s i mportance seemed attached to this ques

tio n of relief R iderhood qui te pette d his reply ; saying
.
a second time and prolon ging a negative roll of his head

n —n — not a inch sooner governor
, ,
”
.
,
“
Did I tel l y o u I was going on to night ? asked -
”
Br a d l ey .
No governor returned Riderhood in a cheerful a ffable

, , , , ,
“
and conversational man ner you did not tell me so But ,
.
most like you meant to it and forgot to it How other .

,
ways could a doubt h ave come into you r head about it

, ,
”
governor ?
“
As th e s u n goes down I inten d to go on said Bradley , ,
.
”
So much the more n e c e s s a i r y is a Peck ret u rned Rider ,
hood . Com e in and have it T o th e r e s t ? ,

’
The for m ality O f spreading a table cloth not being O bserved -
in Mr Riderhoo d s estab l ishment the serving Of the peck

.
’
was the a ffair of a moment ; it merely cons i sted in the

b a n d i n g down of a capacious baking dish with three fourths - -
of an i m m ense meat pie in it and the production of two -

,
pocket knives an earthenware mug and a large brown bottle

-
, ,
O f beer .
Both ate and drank but Riderhood much the more abun
.
dautly In lieu of plate s that honest man cut two triangular

.
,
pieces from the thick crust of the pie and laid them inside , ,
uppermost up on the table the one before him self and the
, ,
other before his guest Upon these platte rs he placed two .
goodly por tions of the contents of the pie thus impartin g ,
the unusual i nterest to the ente rtainment that each partaker

scooped out the inside of his plate and consumed it with his ,
other fare b eside s having the sport of pursuing the clots o f

, _
congealed gravy over the plain of the table and succe ssfully ,
taking them in to his mouth at last from the blade of his

knife in case of their not first Sliding o fl it
,
.
Bradley Headstone was so remarkably awkward at these

exercises that the Rogue observed it
, .
“
Look out TO th e r e s t he cried, ,
“
you ll cut your
’ ’
h and ! ”
A PI E C E OF NEws 82 3
But the caution came too late for Bradley gashed it at th e ,
instant And what was more unlu cky in asking Riderhood

.
, ,
to tie it up and in standing close to him for the pu rpose he

, ,
Shook his hand un der the smart of the wound and Shook ,
’
blood over Riderhood s d ress .
When dinner was done and when what remained of the ,
platters and what remained of the con gealed gravy had been
put back into what remained of the pie which served as an ,
e c on o m i c a l i n v e s tm e n t for all miscellaneous savings Rider ,
h ood filled the mug with be er and took a long drin k And .
now he did look at Bradley and with an evil eye ,

.
h e said hoarsely as he be nt across the ,
table to touch his arm The news has gone down the
.
river afore you .
“
What news
Who do you thi n k said Rid erhood with a hitch of his , ,
head as if he disdainfully j erked the feint away picked u p

, ,
the body ? Guess .

”
“
I am not goo d at guessing anything .
She did Ho or o a r ! You had him there agin She

. .
did .
’
The convulsive twitching of Bradley Headstone s fac e and ,
the sudden hot humour that bro k e out up on it showed how ,
grimly the inte lligence tou ched him But he said n ot a .
single word good or bad He o n l y smiled in a lowering

,
.
manner and got u p and stood leaning at the window look

, ,
ing through it Riderhood followed h i m with h i s eyes

. .
Rid erhood ca st down h i s eyes on h i s own besprinkled

clothes Riderhood be gan to have an air of being better
.
at a guess than Bradley owned to being .
“
I have bee n so long in want of rest said the school ,
“
master that with your leave I l l lie down again
,
’
.
“
And welcome To th e r e s t was the hospitable answer
,
’
of h i s host He had laid himself down witho u t waiting

.
for it an d he remained upon the bed u ntil the su n was low

, .
When he arose and came out to resume h i s j ourney h e ,
found h i s host waiting for him on the grass by the towing

path outside the d oor .
“
Whenever it m a y be necessary that y ou and I should
h ave any further communication together said Bra d ley, ,
”
”
I will come back Good night ! .
“
Well since no better can be said Riderho od turning
, , ,
“ ”
on his heel Good n ight ! But he turned a ain as th e
,
g
82 4 .
O UR MU TU AL F RI E ND
Ot h er set forth and added under his breath look i n g afte r
h im with a leer
, ,
“ ’
You wouldn t be let to go l ike that
.
,
’
if m y Reli e f warn t as good as come I ll catch y ou up in
. .
’
a mile .
"
In a word his real t i me O f relief being that e vening at

,
sunset his mate came loungi ng in within a quarter O f an

, ,
hour Not stayi ng to fill up the utmost margin of his ti me

.
,
but borro wing an hour or so to be repaid again when he ,
should re l ieve h is rel i ever Riderho od straightway followed ,
o n the track O f Bradley Headstone .
He was a better follower than Bradley It had been the .
calling of his life to slin k and skulk and dog and waylay ,
and he knew his calling well He effected such a forced .

‘
march on leaving the Lock house that he was close up wi th -
him — that is to say as close up with him as he deemed it ,
convenient to b e — before another Lock was p a ssed Hi s

'
man looked back pretty often as he went but got no hint ,
O f him He kne w how to take advantage of the ground and

.
,
where to put the hedge between them and where the wall , ,
and when to duck and when to drop and had a thous and , ,
’
arts beyond the doomed Bradley s slow conception .
But all his arts were brought to a stan dstill like himself , ,
when Bradley turning into a green lane or ridin g by the

,
river side a solitary spot ru n wild i n nettles briars and

-
, , ,
brambles and enc u mbered with the scathed trunks of a

,
whole hedgerow of felled trees on the outskirts of a little ,
wood — began stepping on these trunks and dropp ing down

among th em and stepping on them again appa rently as a ,
schoolb oy might have done but assure dly wi th n o s c h o ol b oy

‘
purpose or want of pu rpose

,
.
“ ”
What are you up to ? muttered Riderhood d own in
‘
the ditch and holding the hedge a little open with both
,
hands And soon his actions made a most extraordinary

.
reply “
By G eo rge and the Dr a gg in ! cried Riderhood
.
”
,
“
if h e ain t a go i ng to bathe’
-
He had pass ed back on and among the trunks of trees ,
again and had p a sse d on to the water side and had begu n
,
-
undressing on the grass F or a moment it had a suspicious .
“
look of suicide arranged to counterfeit accident
,
But you .
wouldn t have fetched a bundle under your arm from a mong

’
,
”
that timber if such was your game ! said Riderhood
,
.
Nevertheless it was a relief to him when the bather after

“ ’ ”
a plunge and a few strokes came o ut F or I shouldn t . ,
With infinite pains and cunning he double locks and bars ,
forty nine of them and cannot see the fift ieth standi ng wide
-
,
open .
Now too was he cursed with a state of min d more wear

, ,
ing and more wearisome than remorse He had no remorse .
but the evil doer wh o can hold that avenger at bay cannot
-
,
escape the slower torture of incessantly d oing the evil dee d

again and doing it more efficiently In the defensive declara .
tions and pretended confessions of murderers the pursuing ,
shadow of this to rture may be traced through every lie they

tell If I had done it as alleged is it conceivable that I
.
,
wo ul d have made this and this mistake ? If I had done it

as alleged Should I have left that unguarded place which
,
that false and wicked witness against me so infamously

deposed to The state of that wretch who continually finds .
the weak Sp ots in his own crime and strives to strengthen ,
them when it is unchangeable is a state that aggravates the ,
offence by doing the deed a thousand times instead of once

but it is a state too that tauntingly V isits the O ffence upon
, ,
a sull en unrepentant nature with its heaviest punishment

every time .
Bradley toiled on chained heavily to the idea of his hatred

,
and his vengeance and thinki ng how he might have satiated

,
both in many be tter ways than the way he had taken The .
instrument might have bee n bette r the spot and the hour ,
might have been better chosen To batter a man do wn from .
behind in th e dark on the brink of a river was well enough

, , ,
but he ought to have been instantly disabled whereas he had ,
turned and seized his assailant ; and so to end it before

’
chance help came and to be rid of him he had been hu rriedly

, ,
thrown backward into the river before the life was fully
beaten out of him Now if it could be d one again it must
.
,
not be so done Supposing his head had been held down

.
under water for a while Supposing the first blow had .
been truer Supposing he had been shot Supposing he

. .
had been strangled Suppose this way that way the other
.
, ,
way Suppose anything b u t getting unchained from the one

.
idea for that was inexorably impossible

, .
The school r e opened next day The scholars saw little or

-
.
’
no change in their master s fa c e for it always wore its slowly ,
labo uring expression But as he heard his classes he was

.
, ,
always doing the deed and doing it bette r AS he paused .
with his piece of chalk at the black board before writing on

THE M ASTE R AT SCH OO L AGAIN 82 7
it h e was thinking of the spot an d whether the water wa s

, ,
not deeper and the fall straighter a little higher up or a , ,
little lower down He had half a m i nd to draw a l ine or .
two upon the board and Sh ow himself wh a t he meant He ,

.
was doing it again and improving on the manner at prayers '
, .
in his mental arithmetic all through his questionin g all , ,
through the day .
Charley He xa m was a m aster now in another school under , ,
another head It was evening and Bradley was walking in

.
,
his garden observed from behin d a blind by gentle little

Miss P e e c h e r who contempl ated o ffering him a loan of her
,
smelling salts for headache when Mary Anne in faithful

-
, ,
attendance held up her arm , .
Yes Mary Anne ,
Young Mr He x a m if you pleas e ma am coming to see

.
, ,
’
Mr Headstone
. .
“
Very good Mary Anne ,
.
Again Mary Anne hel d u p her arm -

.
”
You may speak Mary Anne ,
.
Mr Headstone has b e c k on e d y o u n g Mr He x a m into his

‘
. .
hou se ma am and he has gone in himself without waiting for

,
’
young Mr He x a m to come up and now h e has gone in too

.
, ,
’
ma am and has shut the door
, .
”
With all my heart Mary Anne ,

.
Again Mary Anne s telegraphic arm worked ’

.
“
What more Mary Anne ,
They mu st find it rather dull and dark Miss Pe c c h er , ,
for the parlou r blind s down and neither of them pulls ’
,
”
it up .
There is no accounting said good Miss P e e c h e r with a ,
little sad sigh which s h e repressed by laying her hand on her

“
neat methodical bodice, there is no accounting for tastes ,
Mary Anne .
”
Charley entering the dark room stopped short when he

, ,
saw his O l d friend in its yellow shade .
“
Come in He xa m come in , , .
”
Charley advanced to take the hand that was held out to

him ; but stopped again short O f it The heavy blood shot ,
.
,
-
eyes of the scho olmaster rising to his face wi th an e ffort met , ,
his look of scrutiny .
“ ’
Mr Headstone what s the matte r ?
.
,
Matter Where '
Mr Headstone have y ou h e a r d the news ? This news

.
,
about the fellow Mr Eugene W r a yb u r n ,
That he is .
killed
He is dead then ! exclaimed B radl ey
,
”
.
Young He xa m standin g looking at him he moistened h i s ,
lips with his tongue looked about the room glan ced at his, ,
former pupil and looked down , I heard of the outrage .

,
”
“
said B radley trying to constra i n his working mouth but
, ,
I h a d not heard the end of it .

”
“
Where were you said the boy advancing a step as he ,
”
,
lowered h i s voic e when it was done ,

Stop ! I don t ask ’
that Don t tell me If you force your confidence upon me

’
Mr Headstone
. .
,
. I ll give up every word of it Mind

,
’
Take .
' ”
notice I ll give it up and I ll give up you I wi ll
.
,
’
. .
The wretched creature seemed to su ffer acutely under this

renunciation A desolate air of utte r and comple te loneliness
.
fell upon him like a Vi sible shade

,
'
.
‘
It s for me to speak not you said the boy
’
If you , ,
.
do you ll do it at your peril I am going to put your s e l fis h

’
.
ness before you Mr Headstone — your passionate violent and

,
.
, , ,
u ngovernable s e l fis h n e s s — to Show you why I can and why ,
I will have nothing more to do with you .
He looked at young He xa m as if he were waiting for a

,
scholar t o go on with a lesson that he knew by heart and was

deadly tired of But he had said his last word to him
. .
If you had a ny part — I don t say what — i n this atta ck ’
or if you know anything about i t—I d on t

,
’
pursued the boy
say how much — o r if you know who did i t—I go no closer
’
you did an i nj ury to me that s never to be forgiven You .
know that I took you with me to his chambers in the Templ e

when I tol d him my opinion of him and made myse l f ,
responsible for my opinion of you You know that I took .
you with me when I was watching him with a V iew to

recovering my sister and bringing her to her senses ; you
know that I have allowed myself to be mixed u p with you
all through this business in favouring your desire to marry ,
my Sister An d how d o you know that pursuing the ends

.
,
of your own V iolent temper you have not laid me O pe n to ,
suspicion Is that your gratitude to me Mr Headstone ,

.
B radley sat looking steadily before him at the vacant air .
As often as young He xa m stopped he turn ed his eyes towards ,
him as if he were wa iting for him to go on with the lesson

, ,
and get it done As often as the boy resumed Bradley

.
,
resumed his fixed face .

h ave justified my sister i n being firmly set against you from
first to last and you have put me in the wrong again And
,
why have you done it ? Becau se Mr Headstone y ou are i n ,

.
,
a ll your passions so selfish and so concentrated upon you rself, ,
that you have not bestowed one proper thought on me .

”
The cool conviction with which the boy took up a n d hel d

h i s positi on could have bee n derived from no other V ice i n
human nature .
”
It is he went on actually with te ars a n extraordin ary
, , ,
circumstance attendant on my life that every e ffort I make ,
towards perfect respectability is i mpeded by s o m e b o d y e l s e

'
through no fault of mine ! Not content with doing what

I have put before you you Will drag my name into notoriety
through dragging my sister s —which y o u are pretty sure to
, .
d o if my suspicions have any foundation at all — and the

,
worse you prove to b e the harder it will be for me to deta ch

,
myself from being associated with you in people s mi n ds ’

.
When he had dried his eyes and heaved a sob over his
'
inj uries he began moving towards the door

H ow
.
,
ever I have made up my mind that I will be come

,
respectable in the scale of society and that I wi ll not be ,

.
dragged down by others I have done with my siste r as well

.
as with you Since she cares so little for me as to care

.
nothing for under mining my respectability Sh e Shall go her

way a n d I wil l go mine My prospects are very good and
,
.
,
I mean to follo w th e m a l o n e Mr Headstone I don t say

'
. .
,
’
.
what you have got upon your conscience for I don t know ,
’
.
Whatever lies upo n it I hope you w i ll see the j ustice of

,
keeping wide and clear of me and wi ll find a consolation in ,
completely exonerating all but yourself I hope before many .

,
years are out to succeed the master in my present school

, ,
and the mistress being a single woman though some years ,
older than I am I might even marry her If it is any

, .
comfort to you to know what plans I may work out by

keeping myself strictly res pectable in the scale of society ,
these are the plans at present occurring to me In conclusion .

,
if you feel a sense of having inj ured me and a desire to make ,
some small r eparation I hope you will think h ow respectable

,
you might have be en yo u rs el f an d will contemplate your ,
blighted exi stence ”
Was it stran ge that the wretche d man Shoul d take this .
heavily to h eart ? Perhaps he had taken the boy to heart .

,
first through some long lab o rious years perhaps through the
, .
B E TT E R TO BE AB E L T HAN CAI N
C HAP T ER V III .
A FEW GR AIN S OF PEPP E R
THE dolls dressmaker went no mo r e to the busi ness premises

’
-
of P u b s e y and CO in S aint Mary Axe after chance had

.
,
-
disclosed to her (as she supposed ) the fli n ty and hypocritical

character of Mr Riah S h e often moralised over her work
. .
on the tricks and the manners of that venerable cheat but ,
made her little purchases elsewhere and lived a secluded life , .
After much consultation with herself S h e decided not to put ,
Lizzie He x a m on her guard against the O l d man arguing ,
that the disappoint m ent of finding him out would com e

upon her quite soon enough Therefore in her communi
.
,
cation with her friend by letter she was silent on this theme
, ,
and principally dilated on the backslidings O f her bad child ,
who every day grew worse and worse .
“
You wicked old boy Miss Wren would say to him with
,
”
,
a menacing forefinger ; you ll force me to run away from

’
you after all you will ; and then you ll shake to bits and
, ,
’
,
”
there ll be nobody to pick up the pieces !
’
At this foreshadowing of a desolate decease the wicked ,
old boy would whine and whimper and would Si t shaking ,
himself into the lowest O f low spirits until such time as he ,
could shake himse l f out of the house and shake another

threepennyworth into himself But dead drunk or dead
.
sober (he had come to such a pass that he was least alive
i n the latter state) it was always on the conscience of the
,
paralytic scarecrow that he had betrayed his Sharp parent

for Sixty threepennyworths of rum which were all gone and , ,
that her sharpness would infallibly detect his having done it

sooner or later All things considered therefore a n d addi
.
, ,
tion made O f the state of his body to the sta te o f his m i nd ,
the bed on which Mr Dolls reposed was a bed of roses from

.
which the flowers and leaves had entirely faded leaving him ,
to lie upon the thorns and stal ks .
On a certain day Miss Wren was alone at her work with

, ,
MR . FLE DG EBY W ITH MISS W R E N 83 5
the house door set O pen for coolness and was trollin g in a
-
,
small sweet voice a mournful little song which might h ave ,
been the song of the doll she was dressing bemoaning the ,
brittleness and meltability of wax when whom should Sh e ,
descry standing on the pa Ve m e n t looking i n at her but , ,
Mr Fl e d ge b y
. .
.
“
I thought it was you ! said Fl e d g e b y co m ing up the ”
,
two steps .
“ ”
Did you ? Miss Wren retorted And I thought it .
’
was you young man ,
Qu ite a coincidence You re not . .
mistaken and I m n ot mistaken How clever we are !

,
’
.
”
“
Well and h ow are you
,
said Fl e d g e b y .
I am pretty much as usual sir replied Miss Wren , ,

”
.
A very unfortunate parent worried out of my life and ,
senses by a very bad chil d .

”
Fl e d ge b y s small eyes O pened so wide that they might have

’
passed for ordinar y Sized eyes as he stared abou t him fo r the -

,
very young person whom he supposed to be in question .
“ “
But you re not a parent said Miss Wren and c o n s e
’
,
”
,
’
quently it s of no u se talking to you upon a famil y subj ect .
To what am I to attribute the honour and favou r

“
TO a wish to improve your acqu aintance Mr Fl e d g e b y
_
,
”
.
replied .
Miss Wren stopping to bite her thread l ooked at him

, ,
very kno wingly .
“
We never meet n o w said Fl e d g e b y do we ,
”
No said Miss Wren chopping o ff the word
.
,
.
So I had a mind pu rsued Fl e d g e b y to come and have

“
,
”
,
a talk with you about ou r dodging fri en d the child of ,

”
Israe l .
So h e gave you my address did he asked Miss Wren .
I got it out of him said Fle d ge b y with a stammer ,

”
,
.
You seem to see a good deal of him remarked Miss .

,
Wren with shrewd distrust

, A good deal of him you seem .
to see considering
, .
”
Yes I do said Fl e d g e b y
, ,Consi d ering
”
. .
’ ”
Haven t you inqu ired the d ressmaker bending over the
, ,
“
doll on which her art was being exercise d done interceding ,
with him yet

NO said Fl e d ge b y shaking his head
,
”
, .
La ! Been i nterceding with h i m all this time and stick ,
I n g to him still ? said Miss Wren busy with her work , .
Stick i ng to him is the word said Fl e d ge b y ,

”
.
Miss Wren pursued h e r occupation with a concentrated
“
air and asked after an interval of Silent industry

, ,
“
Are you i n the army ?
Not exactly said Fl e d g e b y , rather flattere d by the
,
”
question .
Navy asked Miss Wren

N— no Said Fl e d g e b y He qualified these two negatives
.
.
.
, ,
as if he were not absolute ly in either service but was almost ,
in both .
What are you then demanded Miss Wren .
I am a gentleman I am said Fl e d ge b y , ,
”
.
Oh ! a s s e n te d Je n n y s crewi ng up her mouth with an

” ‘
,
“
appearance of conviction Yes to be sure That accounts .
,
for you r having so much time to give to i n te r c e d i n g But

'
only to think how ki nd and friendly a gentleman you must

be !
Mr Fl e d ge b y fou n d that he was skating round a board
.
marked Dangerous and had better ou t out a fresh track ,

.
“ ”
Let s get back to the d o d ge r e s t of the dodgers said he
’
,
.
What s he up to in the case of your friend the handsome

’
’
gal ? He mu st have some obj ect What s his obj ect ? .
“
Cannot un dertake to s ay sir I am sure returned Miss , ,
Wren composedly
,
.
“
He won t acknowledge where she s gone said Fl e d g e b y ;
’ ’
and I have a fancy that I Should like to have another look

”
at her Now I know he knows where Sh e is gone
. .
”
Cannot undertake to say, Si r I am sure ! Miss Wren .
again rej oined .
“
And you know where she is gone hazarded Fl e d ge b y .
Cannot undertake to say sir really replied Mis s Wren , , ,

.
The quaint littl e chin met Mr Fl e d g e b y s gaze with such .

’
a baffli ng hitch that that agree able gentleman was for some
,
time at a loss how to resume his fascinating part in the

dialogue At length he said
Miss J enny —That s your name if I don t mistake
.
’ ’
,
’ ” ’
Probably you don t mistake Si r was Miss Wren s cool , ,
“
answer because you had it on the best authority Mine .
,
you know .
“ ’
Miss Jenny ! Instead of c oming up and being dead let s ,
”
come out and look alive It ll pay better I assure you .
’
, ,
said Fle d ge b y bestowing an inveigling twinkle or two upon

,
the dressmaker You ll find it pay better

.
’
.
“
Perhaps said Miss Jenny holding out her d oll at arm s
,
”
,
’
I kno w all about it I s h o u l d like to pay Off J u dah by .
,
not letting h i m have his own deep way in everythin g In .
most things he ll get it by hook or by crook but— hang it ’
all —don t let him have h i s own deep way in everything

,
’
.
That s too much

’
Mr Fl e d g e b y said this with some display
.
”
.
of indignant warmth as if he was counsel in the cause for ,
Virtue .
How can I pre vent his having his own way began the
dressmaker .
Dee p way I called it said Fl e d ge b y , , .
His own deep way in anything

-
,
‘
I ll tell you said Fl e d ge b y
’ “ ”
I like to h ear you ask it
, .
,
because it s looking alive It s what I sho uld expect to find

’
.
’
in one of your sagacious understanding Now candidly ”
Eh ? cried Mi s s Je n n y
. .
,
“ ”
'
.
I said now candidly Mr Fl e d ge b y explained a little

, ,
”
.
,
put out .
Oh h ! -
I should be glad to counterm ine him respecting the ,
handsome gal your friend He means something there

,
. .
Y o u may depend upon it Judah means S omething there

.
,
.
He has a m o ti v e and of c o u r s e his motive is a dark motive

,
v
.
No w whateve r his motive is it s necessary to his motive

_
, ,
M r Fl e d g e b y s constructive powers were not equal to the

.
’
avoidance of some tauto l ogy here — “

that it should be kept
fro m me what h e has done with her So I put it to you
,
.
,
who know : W h at ha s he done with her ? I ask no more .
'
And is that asking much when you understand that it will ,
pay ? 6 3,
Miss Jenny Wren who had cast her eyes upon the bench ,
again after her last interruption sat looking at it needle in , ,
hand but not working for some moments She then briskly , .
resumed her work and said with a Side long glance of her , ,
-
eyes and chin at Mr Fl e d g e b y .

.
“
Where d ye live ? ’
Albany Piccadilly replied Fl e d ge b y , ,

.
When are you at h ome

When you like .
”
Breakfast time said J enny, in her abruptest and

-
shortest manner
NO better time in the day said Fl e d ge b y
.
“
. .
,
“
I ll look in upon you to morrow young man
’
Those -
,
.
“
two ladies pointing to dolls have an appointment in Bond
,
”
,
’
MI SS J E NNY C AN T M AK E IT O UT 83 9
’ ’
Street at ten precisely When I ve d ropped em there I ll .
’
drive roun d to you ” With a weird li ttle lau gh ; Miss Jenny

.
pointed to her crutch stick as her equipage -

.
“
This is looking alive indeed cried Fl e d ge b y risin g ,
.
” ’
Mark you ! I promise you nothing said the dolls ,
dressmaker dabbing two dabs at him with her needle as if

, ,
she put out both his eyes ;

N 0 no . I understand returned Fl e d ge b y The ,
.
damage and waste question shall be settled first It shall be .
”
made to pay ; don t you be afraid Good day Miss Jenny
’ '
.
,
.
“ ”
Good day young man ,
.
Mr Fl e d g e b y s prepossessing form withdrew itself : and

.
’
the little dressmaker clipping and snipping and stitching

, ,
and stitching and snipping an d clipping, fell to work at a

great rate ; m u s i n g a n d mutteri n g all the time
'
“ ’
Misty misty misty C a n t make it out Little Eyes
, ,
. .
and the wolf in a conspiracy Or Little Eyes and the wol f

again st one another ? Can t mak e it out My poor Lizzie ’
.
,
have they both designs against y o u ; either way Can t m ak e ’
it out Is Little Eyes P u b s e y and the wolf Co ? Can t

.
,
’
make it out P u b s e y true to Co and CO to P u b s e y P u b s e y

.
,
false to Co and Co to P u b s e y ? Can t m a k e i t Ou t What

,
’ '
.
said Little Eyes Now candidly Ah However the cat ,
jumps h e s a liar That s all I can make out at present ; but

,
’
.
’
you may go to bed in the Albany Piccadilly with tha t for

your pillo wyoung man
, ,
,
There u pon the little dressmaker ,
again dabbed out his eyes separately and maki n g a loop ,
in the air of her thread and deftly catching it into a knot

with her needle seemed to bowst r ing him into the bargain
, .
F or the terrors undergone by Mr Dolls that eve ni ng when .
his little parent sat profoundly meditating over her work ,
and when he imagined himself found out a s often as she ,
changed her attitude or turned her eyes towards him there

, ,
is n o adequate name Moreover it was her habit to shake

.
her head at th a t wretched O l d boy whenever she caught his

eye as he shivered and shook What are popularly called .
“
the trembles being in full force upon him that evening ,
“
and likewise what are popularly called the horrors he had ,
”
a very bad time of it ; which was not made better by his

“
being so remorsefu l as frequently to moan Sixty three
’
penn orths . This imperfect sentence n ot bein g at all i n
”
te ll ig i b l e as a confession but so u nding like a Gargantuan ,
order for a dram brought him into new d i fficu l ties by

,
occasioning his parent to pounce at him in a more than
usually snappish manner and to overwhelm h i m with bitter ,
reproaches .
What was a bad time for Mr Dolls could not fail to be a .
bad time for the dolls dressmaker However Sh e was on the ’

.
,
alert next morning and drove to Bond Street and set d own, ,
the two ladies punctually and then directed her equipage to ,
conduct her to the Albany Arrived at the doorway of the .
house in which Mr Fl e d ge b y s chambers were she found a .

’
lady standing there in a trave l ling dress holding in her hand ,
of all thi ngs i n the world — a gentleman s hat ’

.
‘
You want some one said the lady in a stern manner .
I am going ups tairs to Mr Fl e d g e b y s .

’
.
”
You cannot do that at t h is moment There is a gentle .
man wi th hi m I a m waiting for the gentleman His busi

. .
ness with M r Fl e d ge b y wi ll very soon be transa cted and

.
,
then you c a n go up Until the gentleman comes down you .

,
must wait here .

”
Whi le speaking and afterwards the lady kept watchfull y

. ,
between her and the stai r case as if prepared t o oppose her ,
going up by force ,
The lady bein g of a statu re to stop
.
her with a hand and looking might i ly determined the dress

, ,
maker stood Stil l .
“
Well ? Why do you listen ? asked the lady .
”
I a m not l i s teni ng said the dre ssmaker , .
What do y o u hear asked the lady altering he r phras e ,

.
Is it a ki n d of a splutterin g somewhere said the dress

maker with an i nquiring look
,
.
“
Mr Fl e d g e b y in his shower bath perhaps remarked the
.
-
, ,
lady smil ing

,
.
“
And somebody s beating a carpet I thi nk ’
,
Mr Fl e d ge b y s carpet I dare say replied the smiling

.
’
, ,
lady .
Miss Wren had a reason ably good eye for smiles being ,
well accustomed to them on the part of her youn g friends ,
though their smiles m ostly ran smaller than in nature But .
she had never seen SO singular a smile as that upon this

’
lady s face It twitched her nostrils O pen in a remarkable
.
manner and contra cted her lips and eyebrows It was a

,
.
smile of enj oyment too though of such a fierce kind that ,
Miss Wren thought she would rather not enj oy herself than
do it in that way .
“
Well said th e lady watching her What now , .
842 O UR MUTU AL F R IE ND
Pulling at the bell again and getting no reply Sh e pushed ,
the outer door and found it standing aj ar No one bein g

, .
visible on her opening it wider and the splutter ing con ,
tinning Sh e took the liberty of O pening an inner door and

, ,
then beheld the extraordina r y spectacle of Mr Fl e d g e b y in .
his shirt a pair of Turkish trou sers and a Turkis h cap

, , ,
rolling over and over on his own carpet and spluttering ,
wonderfully .
“
Oh Lord ! gasped Mr Fl e d ge b y”
Oh m y eye ! Stop
’
. .
thief ! I am strangling F ire ! Oh my eye ! A glass of .

-
water Give me a glass of water Shut the door Murder

. . .
Oh Lord and then rolled and spluttered more than

ever .
Hurryi ng into another room Miss Jenn y got a glass of ,
water and brought it for Fl e d ge b y s relief : who gasping

,
’
, ,
spluttering and rattling in h is throat between whiles drank

, ,
some water and laid his head faintly on her arm

,
.
“
Oh my eye ! cried Fl e d ge b y struggling anew
”
It s ,
.
’
salt and snu ff It s u p my nose and down my throat and’
in my windpipe Ugh ! Ow ! O w ! O w ! Ah —h —h — h !
.
, ,
”
.
And here crowing fearfully with his eyes starting out of his
, ,
head appeared to be conte nding with every mortal disease

,
incidental to poultry .
“
And oh my Eye I m so sore ! cried Fle d ge b y starting ,
’ ”
,
over on his back in a spasmodic way that caused the dress

,
“
maker to retreat to the wall Oh I smart so ! Do put .
something to my back and arms and legs and shoul ders ,

.
Ugh It s down my throat again and can t come up Ow !

’ ’
.
O w ! O w ! Ah — h —h —h ! Oh I smart so Here Mr .
Fl e d ge b y bounded up and bounded down and went rolling , ,
over and over again .
The dolls dressmaker looked on until he rolled himself

’
into a corner with his Turkish slippers uppermost and then , ,
resolving in the first place to address her ministration to the

salt and snu ff gave h i m more water and slapped his back
,
.
But the latter application was by no means a success causing ,
Mr Fl e d ge b y t o scream and to cry out

’
. Oh my eye don t , ,
slap me I m covered with we a l e s and I smart so

’
However he gradually ceased to choke and crow saving

, ,
at intervals and Miss Jenny got him into an easy chair

,
-
where with his eyes red and watery with his features swollen
, , ,
and with some half dozen l ivid bars across his face he pre-
,
sented a most rueful sight .

MR . FLE DG E BY D O ES SM ART SO ! 8 43
“
What ever possessed you to take salt and snuff young ,
man inquired Miss Jenny .
’
I didn t take it the dismal youth replied It was
,
”
.
crammed into my mouth .

”
“
Who crammed it asked Miss Jenny .
He did answered Fl e d g e b y
,
” “
The assassin La m m l e . . .
He rubbed it into my mouth and up my nose and down my

—
throat Ow Ow ! Ow ! Ah — h — h — h ! Ugh ! to prevent
my c rying o ut and then cruelly assaulted me
, .
With this ? asked Miss J enny Showing the pieces of

”
,
cane .
That s the weapon said Fl e d ge b y eyeing it with the

’
, ,
air of an acquaintance He broke it over me Oh I . .

,
smart so How did you come by it ?

“
When he ran down stairs and j oined the lady he had -
left in the hall with his hat —Miss Jenny began .
Oh groaned Mr Fl e d g e b y writhing “
She was hold .
, .
ing his hat was Sh e I might have known she was in it

, .
When he came down stairs and j oined the lady who -
’
wouldn t let me come up he gave me the pieces for you and , ,
‘
I was to say With Mr Alfred La m m l e s compliments on
, .
’
his l eaving England Miss Jenny said it with such spiteful

.
’
satisfaction and such a hitch of her chin and eyes as might

have added to Mr Fl e d g e b y s miseries if he could h ave
,
’
.
,
noticed either in his bodily pain with his hand to his

,
head .
Shall I go for the police inquired Miss Jenny with a ,
nimble start towards the door .
“
Stop ! No don t ! cried Fl e d ge b y ,
Don t please ’ ”
.
’
,
.
We had better keep it quiet Will you be so good as shut .
the door Oh I do smart so ! ,
In testimony of the extent to which he smarted Mr ,

.
Fl e d ge b y came wallowing out of the easy chair and took -

,
another roll on the carpet .
Now the door s Shut said Mr Fl e d g e b y S itting up in

’
,
.
,
anguish with his Turkish cap half on and half off and the
, ,
“
bars on his face getting bluer do me the kindness to look ,
at my back and Shoulders They must be in an awful State .

,
for I hadn t got my dressing gown on when the brute came

’
-
,
’
rushing in Cut my shirt away from the collar ; there s a
.
pair of scissors 0 11 that table Oh ! groaned Mr Fl e d ge b y .

”
.
,
with his hand to his head again How I do smart to be .

,
sure ! ”
844 O UR MUTU AL F RIE ND
There inquired Miss Jenny allud i ng to the back and ,
shoulders .
“
Oh Lord yes moaned Fl e d ge b y rocking himsel f
, , .
An d all over ! Everywh ere

The busy little dressmaker quickly snipped the Shirt away ,
and laid bare the results of as furious and sou nd a thrashing

as e ven Mr Fl e d ge b y merited
. You may well smart young .
,
”
man ! exclaimed Miss Jenny And stealthil y rubbed her .
little hands behind h i m and poked a few exultant pokes ,
with her two fo r e fin g e r s over the cro wn of his head .
“
What do you think O f vinegar and brown paper ?
inquired the su ffering Fl e d ge b y still rock i ng and moan i ng ,
.
“
Does it look as if vinegar and brown paper was the sort
of application
“
“
Yes said Miss J enny with a Sil ent chuckle
,
”
It looks ,
.
”
as if it ought to be P ickled .
Mr Fl e d ge b y collapsed under the word

. Pick led and ,
“ ”
groaned again My kitchen is on this floor he said ;
.
,
you ll find b rown paper i n a dresser drawer there an d a

’
-
,
bottle of V inegar on a shelf Would you have the k i ndness .
’ ’
to make a few plasters and put em on ? It can t be kept
too quiet ”
One two — hum —fiv e six You l l want Si x said the

.
“ ’
.
, , ,
dressmaker .
There s smart enough whimpered Mr Fl e d g e b y groan

’
, .
,
“ ”
ing and writhing again for S ixty ,
.
Mis s Jenny repaired to the kitchen scissors i n hand found , ,
the brown paper and found the V i n egar and ski lfully cut out ,
and steeped six large plaste rs When they were all lying .
ready on the dresser an idea occurred to her as she was ,
about to gather them up .
“ “
I think said Mi ss Jenny with a silent laugh
,
”
he , ,
ought to have a little peppe r Just a few grai ns I thi nk

the young man s tricks and manners make a cla i m upon his
’
frie n ds for a little pepper

Mr Fl e d g e b y s e v il star S howing her the pepper box on
.
’
-
th e chimney piece Sh e climbed upon a chair an d got it

-
, ,
down and Sprinkled all the plasters with a j udiciou s hand

,
.
She then went back to Mr Fl e d ge b y an d stuck them all on .

,
h i m : Mr Fl e d g e b y uttering a S harp howl as each was put

.
in its place .
“ ’
There you ng man ,
said the dolls dressmaker .
I hope you feel pretty comfortable ?

C HAP T ER I X
TW O P L AC E S V AC A E T D
SE T down by the omnibus at the corner of Saint Mary Axe ,
and trusting to her feet and her crutch stick W ithin its -
precincts the dolls dressmaker proceeded to the place of

,
’
busin ess of P u b s e y and Co All there was sunny and qui et .
externally and S hady and quiet internall y Hiding herself

,
.
in the entry outside the glass door she could see from that ,
post of observatio n the old man in his Spectacles Sitting

writing at his desk .
Bo lI cried the dressmaker pOppi II g in her head at the ,
glass door Mr Wolf at home

. .
The old man took his glasses o ff and mil dly laid th em ,
down beside him Ah Jenny is it you . I thought y o u ,

”
had given me up .
And so I had given up the treacherou s wolf of the

“
forest she replied ;
,
”
but godmother it strikes me you , ,
have come back I a m not quite sure because the wolf and
.
,
you change forms I want to ask you a question or two

.
,
to find out whether you are really go dmother or really wolf .
May I
Yes Jenny yes
,
But Riah glanced towards the door
,
.
,
as if he thought his principal might appear there u h ,
seasonably .
‘
If you re afraid O f the fox said Miss Jenny you may
’
, ,
dismiss all present expectations of seeing that animal He .
’
won t Show himself abroad for many a day .
“
What do you mean my child ,
I mean godmother replied Miss Wren Sitti ng down

, ,
”
,
“
beside the Jew that the fox has caught a famous flogging
, ,
and that if his skin and bones are not tingling aching and , ,
smarting at this present instant no fox did ever tingle ache , , ,
and smart Therewith Miss Jenny related what had come

.
to pass in the Albany omitting the few grains of pepper ,

.
Now godmother Sh e went on

,
I particularly wish to
,
”
ask you what has taken place here since I left the wolf here ,
’
MI SS W R E N S GR OW ING ID E A 847
Because I have an idea about the siz e of a marbl e rolling ,
about in my little noddle F irst and foremost are you .

,
P u b s e y and Co or are you either ? Upon your sole m n

.
,
”
word and honou r .
The O ld man shook his head .
Secondly isn t Fl e d ge b y both P u b s e y and Co

,
’
.
The old man answered with a reluctant n o d .
” “
My idea exclaimed Miss Wren is now about the Size
, ,
of an orange But before it gets any b i gger welcome back

.
, ,
”
dear godmother !
The l ittle creature folded her arms about the old man s ’
“
neck with great earnestness and kissed him I humbly beg , .
your forgiveness go d mother I am truly sorry I ought to

, . .
have had more faith in you But what could I suppose when .
you said nothing for yourself you know ? I don t mean to ,

’
O ffer that as a j ustification but what could I suppose when , ,
you were a silent party to all he said It did look bad ;

now didn t it ’
“
It looked so bad Jenny responded the Ol d m a n with , , ,
“
gravity that I will straightway tell you what an impres
,
sion it wrought upon me I was hateful in m in e own eyes . .
I was hateful to mys elf in being s o hateful to th e debtor ,

.
a n d to you Bu t m or e than that and worse than that a n d

'
to pass out far and broad beyond myself—I reflected that

.
, ,
evening sitting alone in my garden on the housetop that

, ,
I was doing dishonour to my ancient faith and race I r e .
fle c te d — clearly reflected for the first time that in bending ,
my neck to the yoke I was willing to wear I bent the u n ,
willing necks of the whole Jewish people F or it is not in .

,
Christian countries with the Jews as with other peoples

Men say This is a bad Greek but there are good Greeks
.
,
‘
.
, ,
This is a bad Turk but there are good Turks Not so with
, .
’
the Jews Men find the bad among us easily enough

.
among what peoples are the bad not easi ly found — but
they take the worst of us a s samples of the best they take
the lowest of us as presentations of the highest an d they say ,
‘ ’
All Jews are alike If doing what I was content to do
here because I was grateful for the past and h a v e ~
.
,
,
s m a ll
need of money now I had been a Christian I could h ave , ,
done it compromising n o one but my individual self But

, .
doing it as a Jew I could not choose but compromise th e ,
Jews of all conditions and all count r ies It is a little hard .
upon us b u t it is the truth I would t h a t all our people

, .
848 OUR MUTUAL F RI E ND
remembered it Th o u gh I h a v e little right to say SO , seeing ' ‘
'
that it came home SO late to me .
The dolls dressmaker sat holding the old man by the

’
hand an d looking thoughtfully in his face

,
.
“
Thus I reflected I say sitting that evening in my garden
, ,
on the housetop And passing the painful scene of that day

.
i n review before me many tim es I always saw that the poor ,
gentleman believed the story readily because I was one of ,
the Jews— that y o u bel ieve d the story readily my child , ,
because I was one of th e Jews —that the story itself first

came into the invention of the originator thereof because ,
I was one of the Jews This was the result of my having .
had you three before me face to face and seeing the thing ,
'
visibly presented as upon a theatre Wherefore I perceived .
that the o bligation was upon me to leave this service But .

,
“
Jenny my dear said Riah breaking o ff I promised that
, ,
”
, ,
you shoul d pursue your questions and I obstruct them ,

.
On the contrary godmother my idea is as large n ow as

a pumpkin —and y ou kno w what a pumpkin is don t you
,
’
SO you gave notice that you were going ? Does that come
next asked Miss Jenny with a look of close attention; ,
'
“
I indited a letter to my master Yes : To that effect . .
And what said Tingling Tossing Aching Screaming - - -
Scratching asked Miss Wren with an unspeak ,
able enj oyment i n the utterance of those honourable titles

and in the recollection of the pepper .
"
He hel d me to certain months of servitu de which were ,
his lawful term of notice They expire to morrow Upon .

-
.
their expiration — not before I had meant to set myself -
right with my Cinderella .

”
My idea is ge tting s o immense now cried Miss Wren , ,
clasping her temples that my head won t h Ol d it Listen

,
’
godmother I am going to expound Little Eyes (that s

’
.
Screaming Scratching Smarter) owes you a heavy gru dge for

- -
going Little Eyes casts about how best to pay you off
. .
Littl e Eyes thinks of Lizzie L ittle Eyes says to h i mse lf .

,
‘ ’
’
I ll find out where he has placed that gi rl and I ll betray ,
’
his secret because it s dear to him Perhaps Little Eyes
’
.
’
thinks I ll make love to her myself too
,
’
but that I can t
s wear— all the rest I can So Little Eyes comes to me and . ,
I go to Little Eyes That s the way of it And now the

.
’
.
’
murder s all out I m sorry added the doll s dressmaker
’
,
’
-
,
”
,
rigid from head to foot with energy as Sh e S ho ok her little -

85 0 OU R MUTUAL FRI END
Well godmother said Miss Wren as they remained
, , ,
“
upon the steps together looking at one another And s o , .
’
you re thrown u pon the world
“
It would appear so Jenny and somewhat suddenly , , .
Where are you going to seek your fortune asked Miss

Wren .
The O l d man smiled but l ooked about him with a look of ,
h aving lost his way in life which did not escape the dolls ,
’
dressmaker .
“ “
Verily Jenny said he the question is to the pu rpose
, , , ,
and more easily asked than answered But as I have ex .
e r i e n c e of the ready go odwill and good help of those who

p
have given occupation to Lizzie, I think I will s e e k th e m '
out for myself .

”
”
On foot ? asked Miss Wren , with a chop .
Aye ! said the old man Have I not my sta ff ? .
It was exactly because he had his Sta ff and presented SO ,
quaint an aspect that Sh e mistrusted h i s makin g the

,
j ourney .
“ “
The best thing you can do said Jenny for the time , ,
being at all events is to come home with me godmother

, , , .
’
Nobody s there bu t my bad child and Lizzie s lodging stands ,
’
empty . The old man when satisfied that no inconvenience,
could be entailed on any one by his compliance readily ,
complied : and the singularly assorted couple once more -
went through the streets together .
Now the bad child having b een strictly charged by his ,
parent to rema i n at home in her absen ce of course went out ,
and being in the V ery last stage of mental decrepitude went

, ,
,
out with two obj ects ; firstly to establish a claim he con ,
c e i ve d himself to have upon any licensed V ictualler living to ,
be supplied with three pennyworth of rum for nothing ; a n d

secondly to bestow some maudlin remorse on Mr Eugene
,
.
W ra y b u r n and see what p rofit came of it Stumblingly

, .
pursuing these two designs — they both mea nt rum the only ,
meaning of which he was capable — the degraded creature

staggered into Covent Gard en Market and there bivouacke d ,
to have an attack of the trembles succeeded by an attack of

the horrors in a doorway , .
This market of Covent Garden was quite ou t of the

creature s line of road but i t had the attraction for him
’
which it has for the worst of the solita ry members of the

drunken tribe It may be the companionship of the nightly
.
TR EM B L E S AND H O RRO R S OF MR . D O LL S 85 1
stir or it may be the companionship of the gin and beer

,
that slop about among carters and hucksters or it may be ,
the companionship of the trodden vegetable refuse which is ,
so like their own dress that perhaps they take the Market
for a great wardrobe ; but be it what it may y o u Shall see ,
no such individual drunkards on doorsteps anywhere as there .
Of dozing women drunkards especially you Shall come upon

-
,
such Specimens there in the morning sunlight as you might

, ,
seek out of doors in vain through London Such stale vapid .
rej ected cabbage leaf and cabbage stalk dress such damaged
- -
,
orange countenance such squashed pulp of humanity are

, ,
open to the day nowhere else So th e a ttr a c ti o n of the .
Market drew Mr Dolls to it and he had out his two fits

.
,
of trembles and horrors in a doorway on which a Woman

had had out her s odden nap a few hours before .
There is a swarm of young savages always flitting about

this same place creeping O ff with fragments of orang e chests
,
-
and mouldy litter— Heaven knows into what h oles they can
convey them having no home — whose bare feet fall with
,
a blunt dull softness on the pavement as the policeman hunts

them and who are (perhaps for that reason ) little heard by
,
the Powers that be whereas in top boots they would make

,
-
a deafening clatter These delighting in the trembles and the

.
,
horrors of Mr Dolls as in a gratuitous drama flocked about

.
, ,
him in his doorway butted at him leaped at him and pelted

, , ,
him Hence when he came out of his invalid retirement

.
,
and shook O ff that ragged train he was much bespattered , ,
and in worse case than ever But not yet at his worst ; .
,
for going into a public house and being supplied in stress

,
-
of business with his rum and seeking to v anish without ,
payment he was collared searched found penniless and

, , , ,
admonished not to try that again by having a pail of dirty ,
water cast over him This application superinduced another

.
fit of the trembles after which Mr Dolls as finding himself .

,
in good cue for making a call on a professional friend ,
addressed himself to the Temple .
There was nobody at the chambers but young Blight .
That discreet youth sensible of a certain incongruity in the

,
ass ociation of such a client with the business that might be

coming some day with the best intentions temporised with
,
Dolls and o ffered a Shilling for coach hire home Mr Dolls

, . .
,
accepting the shilling promptly laid it out in two three ,
pennyworths of conspiracy against his life and two three ,

pennyworths of raging repentance Returning to the .
Chambers with which burden he was descried coming rou nd ,
i n to the court by the wa r y young Blight watching from

the windo w : who instantly closed the outer door and left ,
the miserable obj ect to expend his fury on the panels .
The m ore the door resisted him the more dangerous and ,
imminent became that bloody conspiracy against his life .
Force of police a rriving he recognised in them the con ,
Spi r a to r s and laid about him hoarsely fiercely staringly

, , , ,
convulsively foamingly A humble machine familiar to

,
.
,
the conspirators an d called by the expressive name of

Stretcher being unavoidably sent for he was rendered
, ,
a harmless bundle of torn rags by being strapped down

upon it with voice and consciousness go n e out of him
, ,
and life fast going AS this machine wa s borne out at the

.
Temple gate by four men the poor little dolls dressmaker ,

’
and her Jewish friend were coming up the street .
”
Let us see what it is cried the dressmaker Let us ,
.
make haste and look godmother ,

.
The b risk little crutch stick was but too brisk -

.
gentlemen gentlemen he belongs t o me

, ,
“
Belongs to you said the head of the party stopping it , .
’
Oh yes dear gentlemen he s my child out without
, , ,
’
leave My poor bad bad boy ! and he don t know me he
.
, ,
”
don t know me ! Oh what shall I do cried the little
’
, ,
“
creat u re wildly beating her hands together
,
when my own ,
child d o n t k n o w me
'
’
'
The head of the party looked (as well he might) to the

old man for explanation He whispered as the do l ls dress .
,
’
maker bent over the exhau sted form and vainly tried to
“ ’
extract some Sign of recognition from it : It s her drunken
father .
As the load was p u t down in the street Riah drew the ,
head of the party aside and whispered that he th ou gh t th e ,

”
man was dying No surely not ? returned the o ther
.
,
.
But he became less confident on looking and directed the , ,

“ ”
bearers to bring him to the nearest doctor s Shop ’
.
Thither he was brought ; the window becoming from

within a wall of faces deformed into all kinds of Shapes ,
through the agency of globular red bottles green bottles , ,
blue bottles and other coloured bottles A ghastly light

,
.
’
shining upon him that he didn t need the beast so furio us ,
but a few minutes gone was quiet enough now with a ,

over her work and dropping tears I don t know that his
, .
’
going wrong was much the worse for me If it ever was .

,
let us forget it .
”
“
You are a good girl you are a patient girl , .
”
As for patience she would reply wi th a shrug not , ,
much of that godmother If I had been patient I should

, .
,
never have called him names But I hope I did it for his .
good And besides I felt my responsibility as a mother so

.
,
much I tried reason i ng and reasoning failed

. I tried ,
.
coaxing and co axi ng failed I tried scolding and scolding

,
.
,
failed B ut I was bound to try everything y o u know with

.
, ,
such a charge upon my hands Where would have been .
my duty to my poor lost boy if I had not tried every ,
thing
With such talk mostly in a cheerful tone on the part of ,
the industrious littl e creature the day work and the mi g h t ,

-
work were beguil ed until enough of smart do l ls had gone

forth to bring into the kitchen where the worki ng bench ,
-
now stood the sombre stu ff that the occasion required and
, ,
to bring i nto the house the other sombre preparations .
“ ”
And now said Miss Jenny having knocked off my rosy
, ,
cheeked young friends I ll knock o ff my white cheeked self ,

’
-
.
”
This referred to her making her own dress which at last ,
was done The disadvantage of making for yourself said

.
,
Miss Jenny as she stood upon a chair to look at the result

,
“ ’
in the glass is that you can t charge anybody else for the
, ,
’
j ob and the advantage is that you haven t to go out t o try
, ,
on Humph
. Very fa i r indeed ! If He could see me now
(whoever he is) I hope he wouldn t repent of his bargain
’
The simple arrangements were of her own mak i ng and ,
were stated to Riah thus

“
I mean to go alone godmother in my usual carriage , , ,
and you ll be so kind as keep house while I am gone It s

’
.
’
not far off And when I re turn we ll have a cup of tea and
.
,
’
a chat over fut u re arrangements It s a ve r y plain last house .

’
that I have been able to give my poor unfortunate boy ;

but he ll accept the wil l for the deed if he knows anything
’
,
about it and if he doesn t know anything about it with a

,
’
,
”
sob and wiping her eyes why it won t matter to h i m

, I , ,
’
.
see the service in the Prayer book says that we brought -
nothing into this world and it is certain we can take

nothing out It comforts me for not being able to hire a lot
.
’
of stupid undertaker s things for my poor child a n d seeming ,
SIM P L E F UN E RAL ARR ANG E M E NTS 85 5
’
as if I was t r ying to smuggle em out of this world with
h im when of course I must break down in the attempt a n d
, ,
’
bring em all back again As it is there ll be nothing to
’
.
,
’ ’
bring back but me and that s quite consistent for I sh a n t
, ,
be brought back some day !

Afte r that previou s carr ying of him in the streets the ,
wretched old fellow seemed to be twice buried He was taken .
on the shoulders of half a dozen blossom faced men who - - -

,
shuffled with him t o the chu rchyard and who were preceded ,
by another blossom faced man affecting a stately stalk as if

-
, ,
he were a Policeman of the D (eath ) Division and c e r e m o ,
n i ou s l y pretending not to know his intimate acquain tances
as h e led the pageant Yet the spectacle of only one little

.
,
mourner hobbling after caused many people to turn their

heads with a look of interest .
At last the troublesome deceased was g o t i nto the ground ,
to be buried n o more and the stately stalker stalk ed back ,
before the solitary dressmaker as if she were boun d in h onour ,
to have no notion of the way home Those F u ries the con .

,
v e n ti on a li ti es being thu s appeased he left her

, ,
.
I must have a ve r y short cry godmother before I cheer , ,

“
up for good said the l ittle creature coming in
,
Because .
after all a child is a ch i ld you know ,

.
It was a l onger c ry than might have been expected How .
beit it wore itself out in a shadowy corner and then the

, ,
dressmaker came forth and washed her face and made the , ,
“
tea. You wouldn t mi n d my cutting out something while
’
we are at tea would you ,

she asked her Jewish fr iend with ,
a coaxing air .
“
Cinderel la dear chil d the old man expostulated will
,
“
, ,
you never rest

“
Oh ! It s not work c u tting out a pattern is n t said
’
,
’
,
”
Miss Jenny with her busy little scissors already snipping at

,
“
some paper The truth is godmother I want t o fix it
.
, ,
while I have it correct in my mind .

”
‘
Have you seen it to d a y then asked Riah -
,
.
’
Yes godmother Saw it j ust now It s a surpl ice that s
,
. .
’
what it is Thing ou r clergymen wear you know explained

.
, ,
”
Miss Jenny in consider ation of his profess i ng another faith

, .
“
And what have you to do with that Jenny ,
”
Why godmother replied the dressmaker
, , you must ,
know that we Professors who live upon our taste and i n v e n ,
tion are obli ged to keep our eyes always open And you
, .
know already that I have many extra expenses to meet j ust
now So it came into my head while I was w eeping at my
.
poor boy s grave that something in my way m ight be done

’
with a clergyman .
“
What can be done asked the old man .
Not a funeral never fear ! returned Miss Jenny antici ,

”
,
“
pating h i s obj ection with a nod The public don t like to ’
be made melancholy I know very well I a m seldom called , .
upon to put my y oung friends into mourning not into real

mourning that is ; Court mou rning they are rather prou d
,
of But a doll clergyman my dean— glossy black c u rls and

.
,
whiskers — uniting two of my young friends in matrimony

,
.
,
“
said Miss Jenny Shaki ng her forefinger is quite another , ,
‘
affair If you don t see those three at the altar in Bond

.
’
Street in a j iffy my name s Jack Robinson !

, ,
’ ”
With her expert little ways in sharp action she had got ,
.
a doll into whitey brown paper orders before the meal was -
,
over and was displaying it for the e d i fic a ti o n of the Jewish

,
mind when a knock was heard at the street door Riah

,
-
.
went to open it and presently came back ushering in with , , ,
a grave and courteous air that sat so well upon him a .

,
gentleman .
The gentleman was a stranger to the dressmaker but even

in the moment of his casting his eyes upon her there was ,
something in his manner which brought to her remembrance

Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n
. .
“ ”
Pardon me said the gentleman You are the dolls
,
.
’
dressmaker
I am the dolls dressmaker sir ’
,
.
Lizzie He x am s friend ’
Yes Si r replied Miss Jenny instantly on the defensive

, ,
”
,
.
And Lizzie He x a m s friend ’

.
”
Here is a note from her entreating you to accede to the ,
request of Mr Mortimer Lightwood the bearer Mr Riah .

,
. .
chances to know that I am Mr Mortimer Lightwood and .

,
”
wil l tell you so .
Riah bent his head in corroboration .
Will you read the note

It s very short said Jenny with a look of wonder when
’
,
”
,
Sh e had read it .
“
There was no time to make it longer Time was so .
very precious My dear friend Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n is

.
,
.
,
dying .
”
J E NNY ASK E D FO R 85 9
The dressmaker clasped her hands and uttered a little ,
piteous cry .
“
Is dying repeated Lightwood with emotion
,
at some , ,
distance from here He is s i nking u nder i nj uries received

.
at the hands of a V illain wh o attacked him in th e dark I .
come straight from his bedside He is almost always insen .
sible In a short restless interval of sensibility or partial

.
,
sensibility I made out that he asked for you to be brought

,
to sit by him Hardly relying o n my own interpretation of

.
the indistinct sounds he made I caused Lizzie to hear them

,
.
”
We were both sure that he asked for you .
The dressmaker with her hands still clasped looked

, ,
affrightedly from the one to the other of he r two companions .
“
If you delay he m ay die with his request u n gr a ti fie d
with his last wi sh— intrusted to me —s e have long been
, ,
much more than brothers— u n fu l fill e d I shall break down .

,
if I try to say more .

”
In a few moments the black bonnet and the crutch stick -
were on duty the good J ew was left in possession of the

,
hou se and the dolls dressm a ker side by side in a chaise

,
’
with Mortimer L ightwood was posting out of town ,

.
C HAP T ER X
THE DOLL S DRE SSMAKE R D I SC OV ER S A W ORD

’
A D AR K E N E D and hushed room ; the river o utside the windows

flowing on to the vast ocean ; a figure on the bed swathed ,
and bandaged and bound lying helpless on its back with its , ,
two useless arms in splin ts at its sides Only two days of .
usage so familiarised the little dressmaker with this scene ,
that it held the place occupied two days ago by the r e c ol l e c

tions of years .
He had scarcely moved Since her arrival Sometimes his .
eyes were open sometimes close d When they were open

,
.
,
there was no meaning in their unwinking stare at one spo t .
straight before them unless for a moment the bro w k ni tted ,
into a faint expression of anger or surprise Then Mortimer ,

.
,
Lightwood would Speak to him and on occasions he would ,
be so far roused as to make an attempt to pronounce his

friend s na m e But in an instant consciousness was gone
’
.
again and no Spirit of Eugene was in Eugene s crush e d outer

,
’
form .
They provided Jenny with materials for plyi ng her work ,
and she had a little table placed at the foot of his bed .
Sitting there with her rich shower of h air falling over the
,
chair back they hoped she might attract his n otice With
-
,
.
the same obj ect Sh e would sing just above her breath when
, , ,
he opened his eyes or she saw his brow knit into that faint ,
expression so evanescent that it was like a Shape made in

,
water But as yet he had not heeded Th e they here

.
“
.
”
mentioned were the medical attendant ; Lizzie who was ,
there in all her intervals of rest and Lightwood who never ,
left him .
The two days became three and the three days became ,
four At length quite unexpectedly he said something in

.
, ,
a whisper .
What was it my dear Eugene ,

J E NNY AT THE B E D SID E 86 3
Will you Mortimer ,
Will I
Send for her ?
My dear fellow she 1 8 h e I e , .
Quite unconsci ous of the long blank he supposed that they ,
were still Speaking together .
The l ittle dressmaker stood up at the foot of the bed ,

“
hummin g her song and nodded to him brightly,
I can t .
’
shake hands Jenny said Eugene with something of hi s ol d

, ,
”
,
“ ”
look but I am very glad to see you .
Mortimer repeated t hi s to her for it could only be made ,
out by bending over him and closely watching his attempts

to say it In a li ttle whil e he added
.
,
“
Ask her if she has s e en the children
Mortimer coul d not understand thi s neither could J enny ,
herself until he added

,
Ask her if she has smelt the flowers

“
Oh I k now cried Jenny I understand him .
now Then Lightwood yielded his place to h e r quick

a pproach and she said ben ding over the bed with that
, , ,
“
better look You mean my long bright slanting rows
of chil dren who used to bring me ease and rest
,
You
mean the children who used to take me up and make me ,
li ght
Eugene smiled Yes ,
.
I have not seen them since I saw you I never see them .
now but I am hardly ever in pai n n ow

,
.
”
“ ”
It was a pretty fa ncy said Eugene ,
.
”
But I have heard my birds Sin g cried the little creatu re , ,
and I have smelt my flowers Yes indeed I h ave ! An d .

,
both were most beautiful and most Divine

“ ”
Stay and help to nurse me said Eugen e qu ietly , ,
sh ould like you to have the fancy here before I die , .
She touched his lips with her hand a n d shaded her eyes ,
with that same hand as she went back to her work and her
little low song He heard the so n g with evident pleasure
.
,
until Sh e al lowed it gradually to sink away into Silence .
Mortimer .
”
My dear Eugene .
If you can give me anyt hing to keep me here for only a

few m i nutes
To keep you here Eugene
To prevent my wandering away I don t know where—for
,
’
I begin to be sensible that I have j ust come back and that I ,
S hall lose myself again — do so dear boy ,
Mortimer gave him su ch S timulants as could be g iven him

with safety (they were always at hand ready) and bending , , ,
over him once more was about to caution him when he s aid
, ,
Don t tell me not to Speak for I must speak If you

’
,
.
knew the harass i ng an xi ety that gnaws and wears me when I

am wandering in those places—where are those endless places ,
Mortimer They must be at an immense distance !

’ '
He saw in his friend s face that he was lo sing himself ; for

he added afte r a moment Don t be afraid— I am not gone ’
yet What was it

.
You wanted to tell me something Eugene My poor , .
dear fellow you wanted to say somethin g to your old fri end
—to the friend wh o has always loved you ad m ired you
,
, ,
imitate d you founded himself upon you been nothi ng with

, ,
out y o u and who God knows would be here in your place

, , ,
if he could .
Tut tut ,
said Eugene W ith a tender glance as the
“
other put his hand before his face I am not worth it I . .
acknowledge that I like it dear boy but I a m not wort h it , ,

.
This attack my dear Morti mer this murder

,
His friend leaned over him with renewed attention sayi ng ,

”
You and I suspect some one .
More than suspect But Mortimer while I lie here and

.
, , ,
when I lie here no longer I trust to you that the perpetrator ,

”
is never brought to j ustice .
Eugene
Her innocent reputation woul d be ru i ned my friend ,
.
She woul d b e punished not he I have wronged h e r enough

,
.
in fact : I have wronged her S till more in intention You .
recollect what pavement is said to be made of good intentions .
It is made of bad inte ntions too Mortimer I am lyin g on .

,
it an d I know !
,
”
“
Be comforte d my dear Eugene ,
.
I will when you have promised me Dear Mortimer

, .
,
the man must never be pu rsued If he Sho ul d be accused .

,
you must keep him silent and save him Don t thin k of .
’
avenging me think only of hushing the story and protectin g

her You can confuse th e case and t urn aside the circum
.
,
stances Listen to what I say to you It was not the school

. .
master Bradley Headstone Do you hear me

,
Twice ; it .
was not the schoolmaster Bradley Headstone Do yo u hear ,

.
866 O UR MUTU AL FRI E ND
become very refin ed by practice in her miniature work no ,
doubt was involved in this but her perception was at least

as fine .
The one word Lizzie he muttered millions of times In a

, , .
certain phase of his distressful state which was the worst to ,
those who te nded him, he would roll his head upon the
pillow incessantly repeating the name in a hurried and i m
,
patient manner with the misery of a disturbed m ind and

, ,
the monotony of a machine Equally when he lay stil l and .

,
staring he would repeat it for hours without cessation but

, ,
then a lways in a tone of subdued warning and horror Her

, .
presence and her touch upo n his breast or face would often
stop this and then they learned to expect that he would for
,
some time remai n still with his eyes closed an d that he , ,
would be conscious on opening them But the heavy d i s a p .
pointment of their hope — revived by the welcome silence of

the room — was that his spirit would glide away a gain and
,
be lost in the moment of their j oy that it was there

, .
This frequent rising of a drown ing man from the deep to ,
sink again was dreadful to the behol d ers B ut gradu ally

, .
the change stole upon him that it became dreadful to himself .
His desire to impart something that was on his mind his ,
unspeakable yearning to h ave Speech with his fri end and

make a communication to him so troubled him when he ,
recovered consciousness that its term was thereby Shortened ,

.
As the man rising from the deep would disappear the sooner
for fighting with the water so he in his desperate struggle ,
went down again .
One afternoon when he had been lying still and Liz zie
, , ,
unrecognised had j ust stolen o u t of the room to pursue her

,
occupation he uttered Lightwood s name

,
’
.
“ ”
My dear Eugene I am here ,
.
How long is this to last Mortimer ,
Lightwood shook his head St i ll Eugene you are no .

, ,
”
worse than you were .
“
But I know th e re s no h ope Yet I pray it may last long’
.
enough for you to do me one last servi ce a n d for me to do ,
one last action Keep me here a few moments Mortimer

.
,
.
”
Try tr y !
,
His friend gave him what aid he could and encouraged ,
h i m to b e l i e v e that he was more composed though even

f
then his eyes were losing the expression they s o rarely r e '
covered .
THE O NE L OV E D N AM E 86 7
Hold me here dear fellow if you can Sto p my wander
, , .
ing away I am going !

.
”
Not yet not yet Tell me dear Eugene what is it I

, .
, ,
shall do
“
Keep me here for only a Single m i nute I a m g om g .
away again Don t let me g o Hear me Speak first Stop

.
’
. .
me — stop me
My poor Eugene try to be calm , .
I do try I try so hard ! If you only knew how hard

.
’
Don t let me wander till I have spoken Give me a little .
”
more wine .
Lightwood complie d Eugene with a most p athetic .

,
struggle against the u ncon s ciousness that was coming o ve r

him and with a look of appeal that affected his friend
,
profoundly said ,
“
You can leave me with Jenny while you speak to h e r ,
and tell her what I beseech of her You can leave me with .
Jenny while you are gone

,
There s not much for you to do .
’
.
You won t be long away

’ ”
No no no But tell me what it is that I Shall d o

.
“
, ,
.
,
”
Eugene !
“
I am going ! You can t hold me ’
.
Tell me in a word Eugene ,
His eyes were fixed again and th e only word that came ,
from his lips was the word millions of ti m es repeated .
Liz zie Lizzie Lizzie

, , .
But the watchful little dress m aker had been vigilant as “
ever in her watch and she now came up and touched Light ,
’
wood s arm as he look ed down at his friend despairingly , .
“ “
Hush Sh e said with her finger O II her lips His eye s
, .
’
are closing He ll be conscious when he next opens them
. .
Shall I give you a lea di n g word to say to him

“
Oh Jenny if you could only gi ve me th e r I gh t word ! ”
'
, ,
I can Stoop down

. .
”
He stooped and she whispered in his ear She whispered

, .
in his ear one short word o f a single syllable Lightwoo d '
started and looked at her

,
.
“
Try it said the little creature with an excited and
, ,
exultant face She then bent over the unconscious man and
.
, ,
for the first time kissed him on the cheek an d kissed the
, ,
poor maimed hand that was nearest her Then Sh e withdrew .
to the foot of the bed .
Some two hours afterwards Mortimer Lightwood saw his ,

’
friend s consciousness come back and instantly but very , ,
tranquilly bent over him ,
Don t speak Eugene Do no more than look at me and

.
“ ’
, .
,
listen to me You follow what I say .
He moved his head in assent .
“
I a m going on from the point where we broke off I S .
the word we should soon have come to — is i t— Wife

“ ”
Oh God bless you Mortimer !
, ,
’
Hush ! don t be agitated Don t speak Hear me dear .
’
.
,
Eugene Your mind will be more at peace lying here if you

.
, ,
make Lizzie your wife You wish me to speak to her and .

,
tell her so and entreat her to be your wife You ask her
, .
to kneel at this bedside and be married to you that your ,
reparation may be complete Is that so .
“
Yes God bless yo u ! Yes
. .
”
It shall be done Eugene Trust it to me I shall have ,

. .
to go away for some fe w hours to give effect to your wishes ,

.
You see this is unavoidable

“ ”
Dear friend I said so ,
.
True But I had not the clue then How do you think
.
'
.
I got it ?
Glancing wistfully around Eugene saw Miss J enny at the ,
foot of the bed lo o king at him with her elbows on the bed , ,
a n d her head upon her hands There was a trace of his

_
.
whimsical air upon him as he tried to smile at her , .
“ ”
Yes indeed said Lightwood
,
the discovery was hers , , .
Observe my dear Eugene ; while I am away you will kno w

, .
that I have discharged my tru st with Li z z i e b y findin g her

’
here in my present place at you r bedside to leave you no

, ,
more A final word before I go

. This is the right cou rse .
of a true man Eugene And I solemnly believe with all my ,

.
,
soul that if Providence Should mercifully restore you to us

, ,
you will b e blessed with a noble wife in the preserver of your

”
life whom y o u will dearly love
,
.
“
Amen I am su re of that B ut I shall not come through
. .
it Mortimer
,
.
“
You will not be the less hopeful or less strong for this ,
”
Eugene .
“
No Touch my face with you rs in case I Should not
.
,
hold out till you come back I love you Mortimer Don t .
,
.
’
be uneasy for me while you are gone If my dear brave girl .
wi ll take me I feel persuaded that I shall live long enough

,
to be married dear fellow , .

C HAP T ER X I
TO THE DOLLS DRE SSMAKE R S DI SCOVERY

’ ’
E F EC
F T is GI VE N
MR SJO HN RO K E SMI TH sat at needlework in her neat little

.
room beside a basket of neat li ttle articles of clothing which

, ,
presented so much of the appearance of being in the dolls ’
’
dressmaker s way of bu siness that one might have supposed ,
she was going to set up in opposition to Miss Wren Whether .
the Complete British F amily Housewife had imparted sage

counsel anent them did not appear but probably not as that , ,
cloudy oracle was nowhere V isible F or certain however Mrs .

, ,
.
John Rok e s m i th S titched at them with S O dexterous a hand ,
that she must have taken lessons of somebody Love is in .
all things a most wonderful teacher and perhaps love (fro m ,
a pictorial poin t of V ie w with noth i ng on but a thimble)

,
had been teaching this branch of needlework to Mrs John .
Ro k e s m i th .
It was near John s time for coming home but as Mrs

’
, .
John was desirous to finish a special triumph of her skill

before dinner she did not go o u t to meet him Placidly
,
.
,
though rather consequentially smiling she sat stitching away ,
with a regular sound like a sort of dimpled little charming

,
Dresden china clock by the very best maker

-
.
A knock at the door and a ring at the bell Not John ;

,
.
or Bella would have flown out to meet him Then who if .

,
not John Bella was asking herself the question when that ,
“
fl u ttering little fool of a servant fluttered in saying Mr , ,
.
Lightwood
Oh good gracious
Bella had but time to throw a handkerchief over the
basket when Mr Lightwoo d made h i s bow There was
, . .
something amiss with Mr Lightwood for he was strangely .

,
grave and looked ill .
With a brief reference to the happy time when it had

been his privilege to know Mrs Rok e s m i th as Miss Wilfer .
,
Mr Lightwood explained what was amiss with him and why

.
J O HN RO KESMI TH IS MUCH C O N F U SE D 87 1
he came He c ame bearing Lizzie He x a m s earnest hope that
.
’
Mrs John Rok e s m i th would see her married

. .
Bella was so fluttered by the request and by the short ,
narrative he had feelingly given her that there never was :

,
“ ’
a more timely smellin g bottle than John s knock My -
.
“
husband said Bella ,
”
I ll bring him i n ’
.
”
But that turned out to be more easily said than done ;

’
for th e instant she mentioned Mr Lightwood s name
,
.
,
John Stopped with his hand upon the lock of the room
,
door .
“
Come u p stairs my darling -
,
.
Bella was amazed by the flush in his face and by his ,
sudden turning away What can it mean Sh e thought .

,
as she accompanied him u p sta i rs -

.
Now my life said J ohn taking her on his knee tell

, ,
”
, ,
me all about it .
”
“
All very well to say Tell me all about it ; but J ohn ,
was very much confused His attention evidently trailed o ff .

,
now and then even while Bella told h i m all about it Yet
, .
she knew that he took a great interest in Lizzie and her

fortunes What coul d it mean
.
You will come to this marriage with me John dear ,
N— no my love : I can t d o that,

’
.
”
’
You can t do that John ,
No my dear it s quite out of the question Not to be

, ,
’
.
”
thought of .
“
Am I to go alone John ,
No my dear you will go with Mr Lightwood

, ,
. .
Don t you think it is time we went down to Mr Light

’
.
wood John dear,

Bella insinuated .
My darling it s almost t i me you went but I must ask ,

’
,
”
you to excuse me to him altogether .
“
You never mean John dear that you are not going to , ,
see him ? Why he knows you have come home I told .
him so .
”
“
That s a little unfortunate but it can t be helped Un
’
,
’
.
”
fortunate or fortunate I positively cannot see him my love , ,
.
Bella cast about in her mind what could be his reason for
this unaccountable behaviour as she sat on his knee looking ,
at him in astonishment and pouting a little A weak reason .
presen ted itself .
“
John dear you never can be jealous of Mr Lightwood
,
.
Why my precious child returned her husband laughing

, ,
”
,
872 OUR MUTUAL F RI E ND
“
outright : how could I be j ealous of him Why should I
be jealous of him ?
B ecause you know John pursued Be lla poutin g a little
, , , ,
“
more though he d id rather admire me once it was not m y
, ,
fault .
”
“
It was your fault that I admired you returned her ,
’
“
hu sband with a look of pr ide in her and why not you r
, ,
fault that he a d mired you But I j ealous on that account ? ,
Why I must go d istracted for life if I turned j ealous of

, ,
every one who u sed to find my wife beautiful and winn ing ! ”
“
I am half angry with you Jo hn dear said Bella laugh , ,
”
,
“
ing a little and half pleased with you ; because you are
,
such a stupid old fellow an d yet you say nice things as if ,

,
’
you meant them Don t be mysterious s ir What harm d o
.
, .
you know of Mr Lightwood .
“
None my love ,
.
”
What has he ever done to you John ,
He has never done anything to me my dear I know , .
n o more against him than I know against Mr W r a yb u r n ; .
h e h a s never done anyth i ng to m e ; neither has Mr Wray .
burn And yet I have exactly the same obj ection t o both
.
of them .
”
Oh John ,
retorted Bella a s if she were giving him up ,
“
for a bad j ob as she u sed to give up herself
,
You are .
nothing better than a Sphinx ! An d a m arried Sphinx isn t ’
a — isn t a nice confidential husban d said Bella in a tone of

’
, ,
injury .
Bella my life said John Rok e s m i th touching her cheek

, , , ,
with a grave smile as she cast down her eyes and pouted ,
“ ”
again look at me I want to Speak to you . .
“ ”
In earnest Blue Beard of the secret chamber ? asked
,
Bella clearing her pretty face

,
.
’
In earnest And I confess to the secret chamber Don t
. .
you remember that y ou asked me not to declare what I

thought of you r higher qualities until you had been tried
“
Yes John dear . And I fully meant it and I fully .
,
mean it .
“
Th e t i me will come my darling —I am n o prophet but
I say s o —when you wi ll be tried The time will come I
.
,
,
.
,
th i nk when you will undergo a trial through which you will

,
n ever pass quite triumphantly for me unless you can put ,

”
perfect faith in me .
Then you may be su re of me John dear for I can put , ,

whom Mortimer Lightwo od had been a lready in conference ,
should come and j oin them .
That worthy couple were delayed by a portentous O l d

parishioner of the female gender who was one of th e plagues ,
of their lives and with whom they bore with most e x e m

,
pl a r y sweetness and go od humou r notwithstand i ng her

-
,
having an infection of absu rdity about her that communi ,
c a te d itself to everything with which an d eve rybody with ,
whom Sh e came in contact She was a member of the

, .
Reverend F rank s congregation and made a point of distin

’
g u i s h i n g herself in that body by conspicuously weeping at ,
everything however cheering said by the Reveren d F rank

, ,
in his public ministration ; also by applying to herself th e

vario u s lamentations of David and complain i ng in a person ,
ally i njured manner (mu ch in arrear of the clerk and the

rest of the respondents) that her enemies were digging pit
falls abo u t her and breaking her with rods of iron Indeed
, .
,
this old widow discharged herself of that po rtion of the

Morning and Evening Service as if she were lodging a com
plaint on oath and applyin g for a warrant before a magis
trate B ut this was not her most in convenient characteristic
.
,
for that took the form of an impression us ually recurring in ,
inclement weather and at about daybreak that she had ,
something on her mind and stood in immediate n e e d of the

Reverend F rank to come and take it off Many a time had .
that kind creature got up an d gone out to Mrs Sp r o d gk i n

,
.
(such was the disciple s name) suppressing a strong sense of

’
her comicality by his strong sense of duty and perfectly ,
knowing that noth i ng but a cold would come of it How

ever bey o nd themselves the Reverend F rank Mi l v e y and
.
Mrs Mil v e y seldom hinted that Mrs Spr o d gk i n was hardly

, ,
. .
worth the trouble she ga v e but both made the b e st of h er ,
as they did of all their troubles .
This very exacting member of the fold appeared to be

endowed with a S ixth sense in regard of knowing when the
Reverend F rank Mil ve y least desired her company and with
,
promptitude appearing in his little hall Consequently .
when the Reveren d F rank h a d willingly enga ged that he

and his wife would accompany Lightwood back h e said as , ,
“
a matter of course We must make haste to get out Mar ,
garetta my dear or we shall be descended on by Mrs .
To which Mrs Mi l ve y replied in her pleasantly

, ,
Sp r o d gk i n . .
,
emphatic way Oh y es for she i s such a marplot F rank

“
, , , ,
INT ERP OSITI O N OF MRS . SP RO DG KI N 87 5
”
and d oes worry so ! Words that were scarcely uttered
when their theme was announ ced as in faithful attendance
bel ow desiring counsel on a Spiritual matter The point s
,
.
on which Mrs Spr o d g k i n sou ght elucidation bein g seldom

.
of a pressing nature (as Who begat W h om or so m e i n for

mation concerning the Amorites) Mrs Milv e y on this Special
,
.
,
occasion resorted to the device of bu y i n g her o ff with a

present of tea an d sugar a n d a l oaf a n d butter These gifts
,
.
Mrs Sp r o d g k i n accepted but still insisted on dutifu lly

.
,
remaining in the h all to cu rtsey to the Reverend F rank

,
as he came forth Wh o incautiously sayi n g in his genial

.
,
“
mann er ,
Well Sally there you are ! involved himself in
, ,
”
a discursive address from Mrs Sp r o d gk i n revolving around .

,
the result that she regard ed tea and sugar in th e ligh t of

myrrh and frankincen se a n d considered bread and butter ,
identical with locusts a n d wild h on ey Having com muni .
c a te d this edifying piece of i n formation Mrs Sp r o d gki n was
left still u nadj ourned in the hall and Mr and Mrs Mi l v e y

.
,
. .
,
hurried in a h eated condition to th e railway station All .
of which is here recorded to the ho n our of that good Chris

tian pair representatives of hundreds of other good Christian
,
pairs as conscientious and as u seful who merge the small ,
n ess of their work in its greatness and feel in no danger of ,
losi n g dignity when they adapt themselves to i n c om pr e h e n

sible humbugs .
Detained at the last moment by one who h a d a claim

upon me was the Reverend F rank s apology to Lightwood
” ’
taking no thought to himself To which Mrs Mi l ve y added

, ,
. .
,
taking thought for h i m like the ch a mpioning little wife Sh e

,
“
was Oh yes detained at the last moment
,
But a s to the .
claim F rank I m u s t say that I d o t h ink you are o ver con

, ,
-
siderate sometim e s an d allow tha t to be a li ttle abused

,
.
”
Bella felt conscious in spite of her late pledge for herself

, ,
that h e r husband s absence would give disagreeable occasion

’
for surprise to the Mi l v e y s Nor could Sh e appear quite at

her ease when Mrs Mi l v e y asked
.
“
How is Mr Rok e s m i th and i s he gone before us or d oes
.
, ,
he follow u s
It becoming necessary upon this to send h i m to bed , ,
again and hold him in waiting to be lanced again Bella

did it B ut not half as well on the second occasion as on
.
the first for a twi c e told white one seems almost to become
,
-
,
a black one when you are n ot u sed to it .

Oh d ea r ! said Mrs Mil ve y I am s o sorry ! Mr .
,
.
Ro k e s m i th took s u c h an interest in Lizzie He x a m when we ,
were there before And if we had only known of his face

.
,
we c ou ld have given him something that would have kept it

down long enough for so s h or t a purpose .
”
By way of making the white one whiter Bella hastened

to stipulate that he was not in pain Mrs Mi l v e y was s o
,
. .
glad of it
I don t know h ow it is said Mrs Milv e y
.
and I am ,
.
,
s u r e you don t F rank but the clergy and their wives seem
’
, ,
to c a u s e swelled faces Whenever I take notice of a child.
i n the school it seems t o me as if its face swelled i ns ta n tly

, .
Frank never makes acquaintance with a new old woman but ,
Sh e gets the face ache And another thing is we d o make

-
.
,
the poor children sniff SO I don t know how we do it and .

’
I shoul d be so glad not to ; but the m or e we take notice of

them the m ore they sniff Just as they do when the text is
given o u t —F rank that s a schoolmaster I h a ve seen him
.
,
’
.
,
somewhere .
The reference was to a young man of reserve d appearance ,
in a coat and waistcoat of black and pantaloons of pepper

and salt He had come into the office of the statio n from
.
,
its interior in an unsettled way immediately a fter Light

, ,
wood had gone out to the train an d he h ad been hurriedly

reading the printed bills an d notices on the wall He had .
had a wandering interest in what was said among the people

waiting there and passing to a n d fro He had drawn n earer
at abo u t the time when Mrs Mi l ve y mentioned Lizzie
.
,
He xa m and had remained near since though always gl a n c

, ,
ing towards the d oor by which Lightwood had gone out .
He stood with his back towards them and his gloved hands ,
clasped behind him There was now so evident a faltering .
upon him expressive of indecision whether or no he shoul d

express his having heard himse l f referred to that Mr Mi l v e y
,
.
,
spoke to him
“
I cannot recall your name he said but I remember to , ,
”
have seen you in your school .
“
My name is Bradley Headstone sir he replied backing , , ,
into a more retired place

I ought to have remembered it said Mr Mi l v e y giving
.
,
.
,
him his hand I hope you are well ? A little overworked

.
,
I am afraid
“
Yes I am overworked j ust at present sir
, ,
.
’
said Mr Mi lv e y with a s m ile because I have a wife already
.
, ,
“
.
To perform the marriage service at her wedding

Bradley Headstone caught hold of a pillar behind him
If Mr Mi l v e y knew an ashy face when he s a w it he saw it
.
.
,
then .
“ ”
Y o u are quite ill Mr Headstone ! ,
.
It is not much sir It will pass over very soon I am ,

. .
accustomed to be seized with giddiness Don t let me detain .

’
you S i r ; I stand in need of no assistance I thank you

, ,
.
Much obliged by your Sparing me these minutes of your time ”
As Mr Mi l ve y who had no more minutes to spare made

.
.
, ,
a suitable reply and t u rned back into the office he observed ,
the schoolmaster to lea n against the pillar with his hat in his
hand and to pull at his neckcloth as if he were trying to tear
,
it off The Reverend F rank accordingly directed the notice

.
“
o f one of the attendants to him by saying : There is a ,
perso n outside who seems to be really ill and to require ,
so m e help though he says he does not ,

.
Lightwood had by this time secured their places and the ,
departure bell was a b out to be rung They took their seats

-
.
,
and were beginning to move out of the station when the ,
same atten d ant came running along the platform looking

into all the carriages .
Y o u are here s i r ! he said springing 0 11 the step

”
Oh , , ,
and holding the window frame by his elbow as the carriage -

,
moved That person you pointed out to me is in a fit

. .
”
“
I infer from what he told me that he is subj ect to such
”
attacks He will come to in the air in a little while
.
, ,
.
He was took Very bad to be sure and was biting and ,
knocki ng about him (the man said) furiously Would the .
gentl e m an give h i m his card as he had seen him first ? The ,
gentle m an did so wit h the explanation that he knew no more

,
of the man atta c ked than that he was a man of very respect
able occupation who had said he was out of health as his
, ,
appearance would of itself have indicated The a ttendant .
receive d the card watched h i s opportunity for sliding down

, ,
slid down and so it ended , .
Then the train rattled among the house tops and among -
,
the ragged sides of houses torn down to make way for it and ,
o v er the swarmin g streets and under the fruitful earth until ,
it shot across the river : bursting over the quiet surface like
a bomb shell and gone again as if it had exploded in the
-
,
r u sh of smoke and steam and glare Al i ttl e more and again .

,
ALL IS R E ADY FO R THE W E DDING 87 9
it roared across the river a great rocket : Spurning the watery ,
turnings and doublings with ineffable contempt and going ,
straight to its end as F ather Ti me goes to his To whom it

,
.
is no matter what living waters run high or low reflect the ,
heavenly lights and darknesses produce their little growth ,
of weed s and flowers turn here turn there are noisy or still, , , ,
are troubled or at rest fo r their course has one sure termina ,
tion though the ir sources and devices are many

, .
Then a ca rriage ride succeeded near the solemn river

, , ,
stealing away by night as a l l things steal away by n ight and , ,
by day so q uietly yielding to the attraction of the loadstone

,
rock of Eternity and the nearer they drew to the chamber

where Eugene lay the more they feared that they might
,
find his wanderings done At last they saw its dim light .
shining out and it gave them hope : though Lightwoo d

,
“
faltered as he thought : If he were gone Sh e would still ,
b e Sitting by him
”
.
But h e lay quiet half in stupor half in sleep B ella, , .

,
e ntering with a raised admonitory finger kissed Lizzie softly , ,
but said not a word Neither did any of them speak but a l l
.
,
s a t down at the foot of the bed silently waiting And now , .

,
in this ni ght watch mingling with the flow of the river and
-
,
with the rush of the train came the qu estions into Bella s ,
’
min d again : What could be in the depths of that mystery

o f John s Why was it that he had never been seen by Mr
’
.
Lightwo od whom he Stil l avoided

,
When would that trial
come through which her faith in and her duty to her dear
, , ,
husband was to carry her rendering h i m triumphant ? F or

, ,
that h a d been his term Her passing through the trial was .
to make the man she loved with all her heart triumphant .
’
Term not to sink out of sight in Bella s breast .
Far on in the night Eugene O pened his e yes He was , .
“
sensible and said at once : How does the time go
,
Has
our Morti mer come back
Lightwood was there imme d i ately to answer for himself , .
Yes Eugene and all is ready

, , .
”
“
we both
”
Dear boy ! ret u rned Eugene with a smile ,
thank you heartily Lizzie tell them how wel come they are
.
, ,
a n d that I would be eloquent if I could

”
There is no need said Mr Mi l v e y

.
We know it ,
”
. . .
Are you better Mr W r a yb u r n, .
“
I am much happier said Eugene ,
”
.
Much better too I h Op e ,

Eugene turned his eyes towards Lizzie as if to spare her , ,
and answered nothing

Then they all stood aroun d the bed and Mr Mil v e y
.
.
, ,
opening his book began the service ; so rarely associated ,
with the S hadow of death so inseparable in the min d from

a fl u sh of life and gaiety and hope and heal th an d j oy Bella .
thought how different fro m her own sunny little wedding

and wept Mrs Mi l v e y ov e r flo we d with pity and wept too
,
. .
, .
The dolls dressmaker with her hands before her face wept
’
, ,
in her golden bo wer Reading in a low clear voice and .

,
bending over E u gene who ke pt his eyes upon him Mr

Mi l v e y did his office with suitable Simplicity As the bride
.
, ,
groo m could not move his hand they touched his fingers
'
with the ring and so put it on the bride When the two
,
“
plighted their troth Sh e laid her hand on his and kept it , ,

.
there When the ceremony was done and all the rest de
.
,
parted from the room Sh e drew her arm under his head and , ,
laid her o wn head down upon the p i llow by his side .
”
Undraw the curtai n s my dear gir l said Eugene after , , ,
“
'
”
a while and let us see our wedding d a y
,
-
.
The s u n was risi n g and his first rays struck into the room ,
“
as she Came b ack and put her lips to his I bless the '
.
”
day ! s aid Eugene
”
I bless the day ! said Lizzie . .
You have made a poor marriage of it my sweet wife

‘ '
, ,
said E ugene “
A shattered graceless fellow stretched at
.
' '
his length here a n d next to nothing for you when y o u are

,
”
a yo u ng widow .
“
I have m ade the m a rriage that I would have given all
”
the world to dare to hope for she replied ,
.
“
You have thrown yourself away said Eugene shaking , ,
“
his head But you have followed the treasure of your
.
heart My j u stification is that you had thrown that away

.
,
”
first dear girl !
,
No I had given it to you

. .
The same thing my poor Lizzie ,
Hush hush A very different thing

,
.
There were tears in his eyes a n d ; s h e besought him to ,

“
close them No said E u gene again shaking his head ;
.
,
”
,
“
let me look at you Lizzie while I can You brave devoted , ,
.
girl ! Y o u heroine
Her own eyes filled under his praises And when he .
mustered strength to m ove his wounded head a V ery little

way and lay it on her bosom the tears of both fell
, ,
.
yet somewhat whimsically
’
.I hope so But I can t summon
.
the vanity to think so How can I think so l ook i ng back

.
,
on such a tri fling wasted youth as mine ! I humbly hope

,
it but I daren t believe it There is a sharp misgiving in

’
.
my conscience that if I were to live I should disappoint

your good opinion and my own —and that I ought to die
,
,
”
my dear !
C HA P TER XI I
THE P ASSI NG SHA O W

D
THE winds an d tides rose and fell a certain number of

times the earth moved round the sun a certain number of
,
times the ship upon the ocean made her V oyage safely an d
, ,
brought a baby Bella home Then who so blest and happy

.
as Mrs John Rok es m i th savi ng and exceptin g Mr John

.
, .
Rok e s m i th !
“
Would you not l i ke to be rich n o w my darling ? ,
How can you ask me such a question John dear ? Am ,
I not rich
These were among the first words spoken near th e baby
Bella as she lay asleep She soon proved to be a baby of
.
wonderful intel ligence evi ncing the strongest obj ection t o

,
’
her grandmother s society and being invariably seized with
,
a painfu l acidity of the stomach when that dignified lady

honoured her with any attention .
It was charming to see Bella contemplat i ng this baby and ,
finding out her own dimples in that tiny reflection as if ,
she were looking in the glas s without personal vanity Her .
cherubic father j ustly remarked to her husband that the

b aby seemed to make her younger than before reminding ,
him of the days when she had a pet doll and u sed to talk
to it as she carried i t about The world might have been
.
challenged to produce a nother baby who had such a store of

pleasant nonsense sai d an d sung to it as Bella said and sung ,
to this baby ; or who was dressed and undressed as often in

four and t wenty h ours as Bella dressed and u ndressed this
- -
baby ; or who was held behind doors and poked out to Stop
’
its father s way when he came home a s this baby was ; or , ,
in a word who did half the number of baby things thro u gh

, ,
the lively invention of a gay and proud young mother that ,
this inex haustible baby did .
The inexhaustible baby was two or three months old ,

when Bell a began to notice a cloud upon her husband s ’
brow Watching it she saw a gathering and deepen i ng

.
,
anxiety there which caused her great disquiet More than

, .
once she awoke him muttering in h is Sleep ; and though

, ,
he muttered nothin g worse than her own name it was plain ,
to her that his restlessness origi nated in some load of care .
Therefore Bella at length put in h e r claim to divide this load

,
and bear her half of it .
You kno w John dear she said cheerily reverting to

, , ,
the i r former conversation that I hope I may safely be

,
trusted in great things And it surely cannot be a little

.
thing that causes you so much u neasiness It s very con .

’
side rate of you to try to hide from me that you are u n c om

fo r ta b l e about something but it s quite impossible to be
’
done John love

,
.
”
“
I ad m it that I am rather uneasy my own ,
.
’
Then p l ease to tell me what about s i r , .
“
Bu t no he evaded that Never mind ! th ought Bella ”
, .
,
“
I e s o l u te l y . John requires me to put perfect faith I n him ,
and he shall not be disappointed .
She went up to London one day to meet him in o rder , ,
that they might make some purchases She foun d him .
waiting for her at her j ourney s end and they walked away ’
,
together through the streets He was in gay Spirits though .

,
still harping on that notion of their being rich ; and he said ,
now let them make believe that yonder fine carriage was
theirs and that it was waiti ng to take them home to a fine
,
house they had what would Bella in that case best like to , ,
fin d in the house Well Bella didn t know : already having ’
’
everything she wanted Sh e couldn t say B ut by degrees
,
.
,
Sh e was l ed on to confess that she would like to have for the
inexhaustible baby such a nursery as never wa s seen It was .
to be a V e ry rainbow for colours as she was quite sure baby ,

”
noticed colours ; and the sta ircase was to be adorned with

the most exquisite flowers as she was absolutely certain baby
,
noticed flowers and there was to be an aviary somewhere of ,
the loveliest little birds as there was not the smallest doubt
,
in the world that baby noticed birds Was there nothing . _
else No John dear The p redilections of the inexhaustible

, .
baby being provided for Bella co ul d think of nothing else

,
.
They were chattin g on in this way and John h a d suggeste d ,
NO j ewels for your own W ear for instance and B ella had
,
replied laughing Oh if he came to that yes there might b e

, , ,
AN EV E NT F UL M E E TING 88 7
a beautiful i V OIy case of j ewels on the dressi n g table ; when -
these pictures were in a moment darkened and blotted out .
They turned a corner and met Mr Lightwood . .
’
He stopped as if he were petrifi ed by the sight of Bella s
husband who in the same moment had chan ged colour
,
.
”
Mr Lightwood and I h ave met before he said
.
,
.
Met before J ohn Bella repeated in a tone of wonder

,
.
”
Mr Lightwood told me h e had never seen you
. .
”
I did not then know th a t I had said Lightwood dis ‘
, ,
compose d on her account I believed that I had only heard .
of Mr Ro k e s m i th . With an emphasis on the name .

”
.
When Mr Lightwood saw m e my love observed h e r

.
, ,
”
husband not avoiding his eye but looking at h im , my name

, ,
”
was Julius Handford .
Julius Handford ! The name that Bella had so often seen

in old newspapers when Sh e was an inmate of Mr Bo ffin s
,
.
’
hou se ! Julius H andford who had been publicly entreated ,
to appea r and for intelligence of whom a reward had been

,
publicly offered
I would h ave avoided mention i ng it in your presence ,
“
said Lightwood to Bella delicately ; but since yo u r h u s ,
band mentions i t himself I must confirm his strange admis ,
sion I saw h i m as Mr Julius Handford and I afterward s

. .
,
(unqu estionably to his knowledge ) took great pain s to trace

him out .
”
“
Quite tru e But it was not m y obj ect or m y interest
.
said Rok e s m i th quietly to be traced out

“
, , .
Bella looked from the one to the other in am a zement .
“
”
Mr Lightwood pursued her husband as chance h a s
brought us face to face at last —which is not to be wondered
.
, ,
at for the W onder is that in spite of all my pains to the

, ,
contrary chance has not confronted u s together sooner

,
I have only t o remind you that you have been at my hou se ,
an d to ad d that I h ave n ot changed my residence .

”
Sir returned Light wood with a meaning glance towards

,
”
,
'
“
Bella my position is a truly painful one I hope that no
, .
complicity in a very dark tran saction may attach to you but ,
you cannot fail to know that you r own extraor d i n ary conduct
has laid you under suspicio n .
“
I k n ow it h a s was all the reply ,
”
.
My pr ofc s s i o n a l duty said Lightwood hesitating with , , ,

“
another glance towards Bella is greatly at varian ce with ,
my personal inclination : but I doubt Mr Handford or ,

.
,
Mr Rok e s m i th whether I am j ustified i n taking leave of you
.
,
here with your whole course unexplained

, .
”
Bella caught her husband by the hand .
’
Don t be alarmed my darling Mr Lightwoo d will find , . .
that he is quite j ustified i n taki ng leave of me here At a ll .
events added Rok e s m i th he will find that I mean to take

,
”
,
leave of him here .
“ “
I think s i r said Lightwood , ,
”
you can scarcely deny ,
that when I came to your house on the occasion to which

y o u have referred you avoided me of a set pu rpose
”
, .
Mr Light wood I assure you I have no di sposition to

.
, ,
deny it or intention to deny it I should have contin ued to

,
.
avoid you in pursuance of the same set purpose for a S hort

, ,
time longer if we had not met now I am going straight

, .
home and shall remain at home to morrow until noon

,
.
-
.
Hereafter I hope we may be better acquainted

,
Good .
day .
”
’
Lightwood stood irresolute but Bella s husband passed him ,
in the steadiest manner with Bella on his arm ; and they ,
went h ome without encounteri ng an y further remonstrance

or molestation from any one ._
When they had dine d and were alone John Rok e s m i th ,

“
said to his wife who had preserved her cheerfulness
, And
you don t ask me my dear why I bore that name
’
, ,
No John love I should dearly l i ke to know of course

,
.
,
“
(which her anxious face confirmed but I wait until you
can tell me of your own free will You asked me if I could .
”
have perfect faith in you and I said yes and I meant it , ,
.
It did not escape Bella s notice that he began to look ’
triumphant She wanted no strengthening in her firmness

.
but if she had had need o f any Sh e would have derived it ,
from his kin dlin g face .
“
You cannot have been prepared my dearest for such a , ,
discovery as that this mysterious Mr Handford was identical .
with your husband

No John dear of course not
,
But you told me to ,
.
”
prepare to be tried and I prepared myself ,
.
He drew her to nestle closer to him and told her it would

-
,
“
soon be o ver and the truth would soon appear
,
And .
“
now he went on lay stress my dear on these words that
, , , ,
I am going to add I stand in no kind of peril and I can .

,
’ ”
by possibility be hurt at no one s hand
’
You are quite quite sure of that John dear ? , ,

I take the l iberty said Mr Inspector in a business li k e , .
,
-
“
manner to bri ng myself to the recollection of Mr Jul i us
, .
Handford who gave me his name and address down at our

,
place a considerable time ago Would the lady object to .
my lighting the pair of candles o n the chimney piece to -

,
throw a fu rther light upon the subj ect ? No ? Thank you ,

’ ”
ma am Now we look cheerful
.
, .
Mr Inspector in a dark blue buttoned u p fr ock coat and

.
,
- -
pantaloons presente d a servi c eable half pay Royal Arms

, ,
-
,
kind of appearance as he applied his pocket handkerchief to,

-
his nose and bowed to the lady .
“
You favoured me Mr Handford said Mr Inspector ,
.
,
.
,
by wr iti ng down your name and address and I produce the ,
piece of paper on which you wrote it Comparing the same .
with the writing on the fly leaf of this book on the table -
and a sw e et pretty volume it is —I find the wri ting of the

‘
entry Mrs J ohn Rok e s m i th
,
F rom her husband on her
. .
birthday — and very grat i fying to the feel i ngs su ch memorials

’
are — to correspond exactly Can I have a word with you .
“
Cer tainly Here if you please was the reply
.
, , .
”
Why retorted Mr Inspector again u sin g his pocket
,
.
,
“
handkerchief though there s nothing for the lady to be at
,
’
all alarmed at still ladies are apt to take alarm at matters of

, ,
business — being of that fragile sex that they re not accustomed ’
t o them when not of a strictly domestic character— and I do

generall y make it a rule to propose retirement from the pre
sence of ladies before entering upon busi ness topics Or
,
.
,
“
perhaps Mr Inspector hi nted
,
”
if the lady was to step
.
,
up s tairs and take a look at baby now

,
“
Mrs Rok e s m i th
. her husban d was be ginning ; when ,
”
-
Mr Inspector regarding the words as an introdu ction said

.
, , ,
Happy I am sure to have the honour

,
And bowed with ,
.
”
,
gallantry .
Mrs Rok e s m i th resumed her husband

. is satisfied, ,
th a t s h e can have no reason for being alarmed whatever the

‘
,
busin ess is .
”
“ ” ’
Really ? I s that so ? said Mr In spector But it s a . .
’
sex to live and lea rn from an d there s nothing a lady can t ,
’
’
accomplish when she once fully gives her mind to it It s .
the case with my own wife Well ma am this good gentle .

,
’
man o f you rs has given rise to a rather large amount of

trouble which might have been avoided if he had come for
ward and explained himself Well you see ! he d i d n t come .
,
’
A V I S IT F R O M MR . IN SPE CTO R 891
forward and explain himself Con sequently now that we .

,
meet him and me you l l say— and say right— that there s
, ,
’ ’
nothing to be alarmed at in my proposing to him to come

forward — or putti ng the same mean i ng in another form to
come along with me —a n d explain himself
, ,
”
.
When Mr Inspector put it in that other form to come

.
,
along with me there was a relish i ng roll in his voice and

,
”
,
his eye beamed with an official lustre .
“ ”
Do you propose to take me into custody ? inquired
John Rok e s m i th very coolly ,
.
Why argue ? returned Mr Inspector in a comfort able .

,
“ ’
sort of remonstrance ain t it enough that I propose that
you shall c ome along with me ?
“
F or what reason
Lord bless my soul and body ! returned M r Inspector ”
.
,
I wonder at it in a man of your education Why argue

'
.
What do you charge against me

I wonder at you before a lady said Mr Inspector ,
.
,
“
shaking his head reproachfully : I wonder brought up as ,
you have been you haven t a more delica te mind ! I charge

,
’
you then with being some way concerned in the Harm on

, ,
’
Murder I don t say whether before o r in or after the fact
.
, , ,
.
’
I don t say whether with having some knowledge of it that
’
hasn t come out .
“ ’
You don t surprise me I foresaw your vi sit this afternoon
Don t ! said Mr Inspector
. .
’ ” “
Why why argue ? It s . .
,
’
my duty to I nform you that whatever you say will be used

against you .
“
I don t think it will ’
.
But I tell you it will said Mr Inspector Now having , . .

,
received the caution d o you still say that you foresaw my

visit this afternoon
“
Yes And I will say something more if you will step
.
with me into the next room .

”
With a reassurin g kiss on the lips of the frightened Bell a ,
her husb a nd (to whom Mr Inspector obligingly o ffered his .
a r m ) took up a candle and withdrew with that gentleman ,

.
They were a full half hour in conference When they -

.
returned Mr Inspector looked considerably astonished

, . .
“
I have invited this worthy o fficer my dear said John , ,
”
,
to make a short excursion with me in which you shall be a

S harer He will take somethin g to eat and drink I dare say
.
,
,
”
on your invitation while you are gettin g your bonnet on ,
.
Mr Inspector declined eating but assented to the pro
.
,
posal of a glass of brandy and water Mix ing this cold an d .

,
pensively consu m i n g it h e broke at intervals i n to su ch s olil o

,
qu i e s as that he never did know su c h a move that he never had ,
been so gravelled and that what a game was this to try the
,
sort of S tu ff a man s opinion of himself was made of ! Con

’
currently with these comments he more than once burst out ,
a laughing
-
with the hal f enj oying and half piqued air of
,
- -
a man who had given up a good conu ndrum afte r much

g u essing and been told the answer
, B ella was So timid of . _
h i m that she noted these things in a h alf shrinking half

,
-
,
perceptive way and similarly note d that there was a great

,
change in his manner to ward s Jo hn That coming al ong .

-
with h i m deportment was now lost in long musing looks at

-
John and a t herself and sometimes in Sl ow h e a v y rubs of his

,
x
hand across his forehead as if he were ironing out the creases ,
which his deep pondering made there He h a d had some .
c oughing and whistling satellites secretly g ra vitating towards ,
hi m about the premises but th ey were now dismissed and he , ,
eyed Jo hn as if he had meant to d o him a public service but ,
had unfortunately been anticipated Whether Bella might .
have noted any thing more if she had been less afraid of him , ,
Sh e could not determine ; but it was a ll inexplicable to h e r ,
and n ot the faintest flash of the real state of the case broke
i n upon her mind Mr Inspector s increased notice of her
. .
’
self and knowing way of raising his eyebrows when their

,
“ '
’
eyes by any chance met as if he put the question Don t ,
you see ? aug m ented her timidity and consequ ently her
”
, , ,
perplexity For all these reasons when he and she

.
,
at to wards nine o clo ck of a winter evening we n t t

’
,
'
and began driving from London Bridge among ,
water side wharves and docks and strange places

-
,
in the state of a dreamer ; perfectly unab

her being there perfectly unable to fore ,
happen next or whither Sh e was going or why

, ,
nothing in the immediate present but that she confided ,
John and that John seemed somehow to be gettin g m

,
triumphant But what a certainty was that

.
They alighted at last at the corner of a court where th ,
was a buil ding with a bright lamp and a wicket gate .
orderly appearance was very unlike that of the

neighbourhood and was explain ed by the inseri
,
S T AT I O N .
894 ou R MUTU AL F RI E ND
It need be sharp t o suit your wits s i r said Miss Abbey , , .
What have you got in hand now

‘
Thanking you for your compliment : not much Miss ,
” ’
Abbey was Mr Inspec tor s rej oinder
, . .
Who have you got in Cosy ? a sked Miss Abbey .
Only a gentleman and his wife Miss , .
‘
And who are they If one may ask it without detriment
to your deep plans in the inte rests of the honest public ? ”
said Mis s Abbey proud of Mr Inspector as an administrative

,
.
genius .
“
They are strangers in this part o f the town Miss Abbey .
, .
They are waiting till I Shall want the gentleman to show

himself somewhere for half a moment , .
”
“ “ ”
While they re waiting said M i ss Abbe y couldn t you
’
, ,
’
j oin u s
Mr Inspector immediately sli pped into the bar and sat
.
,
down at th e side of the half do or with his back towards the -

,
“
passage and directly facing the two guests
,
I don t ta ke .
’
“
my supper till later in the night said he and therefore I ,
”
won t disturb the compactness of the table But I ll take a

’
.
_
’
’
glass of flip if that s flip in the j ug in the fender
, .
“ ’ “ ”
That s flip replied Miss Abbe y and it s my making
, ,
’
and if even you can find out better I shall be glad to know ,
where F ill ing him with hospitable hands a s teaming

.
”
, ,
tumbler Miss Abbey replaced the jug by the fire ; the

,
company not having yet arrived at the fli p stage of their ‘

-
supper but being as yet skirmishing with stron g ale

,
.
—
Ah h ! cried Mr Inspector “
That s the smack ! . .
’
There s not a Detective in the F orce Miss Abbey that co ul d

’
, ,
find out better stu ff than that .
“
Glad to hear you say so rej oined Miss Abbey , .
ought to know if anybody does ,

.
”
“ ”
Mr Job Potterson Mr Inspector continued I drink
you r health Mr Jacob Kibble I drink yours Hope you
.
.
, ,
. . .
,
”
have made a prosperous voyage home gentlemen both ,
.
Mr Kibble an unctuous bro a d man of few words and

.
,
many mouthfu l s said more briefly than pointedly raisin g , , ,

“ ”
his ale to his lips : Same to you Mr Job Potte rson a . .
,
“
semi seafaring man of obliging demeanour said
-
Thank , ,
you sir
,
.
”
“ ”
Lord bles s my soul and body ! cried Mr Inspector . .
Talk of trades Miss Abbey and th e way they set their , ,
marks on men (a subj ect which nobody had approached ) ;

”
ID E NTI F IC ATI O N 895
’
who wouldn t know your brother to be a Ste ward There s
’
’
a bright and ready twinkle in his eye there s a neatness in ,
his action there s a smartness in h i s figu re there s an air o f

,
’
,
’
reliab i lity about him in case you wanted a basin which po ints ,
’
out the steward ! And Mr Kibble ; ain t he Passen ger all .
’
over ? While there s that mercantile cut upon him which
would make you happy to give him credit for five hundred
pound don t you see the sal t s e a shining on him too
,
’
You do I dare say returned Miss Abbey

”
,
but I don t , ,
’
.
’
And as for stewarding I th i nk it s time my brother gave ,
’
that up and took this House i n han d on his sister s retiring
, .
’
The House will go to pieces if he don t I wouldn t sell it ’
.
for any money that could be told out t o a person that I ,
couldn t depend upon to be a Law to the Porters as I have

’
,
”
been .
“ ’
There you re right Miss said Mr In spector A , ,
. .
better kept house is not known to our men What do I say

-
.
Half so well a kept house is not kn own to o u r men Show .
the F orce the Six Joll y F ell owsh ip Porters and the F orce -
,
to a constable will sh ow you a piece of perfection Mr , .
”
Kibble .
That gentleman with a very seriou s shake of h i s h ead

, ,
subscribed the article .
“
And talk of Time sli pping by you as if it was an animal ,
”
at rustic sports with his tail soape d said Mr Inspecto r , .
(again a subject which nobody had approached )

,
why well ,
you may Well you may H ow h a s it slipped by us si n ce

. .
,
the time when Mr Job Potterson here present Mr Jacob .

,
.
Kibble here present and an Officer of the F orce here present , ,
first came together on a matter of Identification

Bell a s husband stepped soft ly to the half door of the bar
’
-
,
and Stood there

Ho whas Time slippe d by u s Mr Inspe ctor went on
.
.
,
slowly with his eyes narrowly observant of the two guests

, ,
“
since we three very men at an Inquest in this very house ,
Mr Kibble
. Taken ill sir ? ,
Mr Kibble had staggered up with his lower j aw dropped

.
, ,
catching Potterson by the shoulder and pointing to the ,

“
half door He now cri ed out : Potterson
-
. Look ! Look
”
there ! Potterson started up Started back and exclaimed , ,
Heaven defend us what s t hat ? Bella s husband stepped

,
’ ’
back to Bella took her in his arms (for she was terrified by
,
the unintelligible terror of the two men ) a n d shut the door ,

8 96
. OUR MUTUAL F RI E ND
of the l ittle room A hurry of voices succeeded in which .
,
Mr Inspector s voice wa s busiest ; it gradually slackened

.
’
and sank ; and Mr Inspector reappeared Sharp s the . .

’
word sir ! he said looking in with a k nowing wink

, ,
.
“ ’
We ll get your lady out at once Immediately Bella and .
”
her husband were under the stars making their way back , ,
alone to the vehicle they had kept in waiting

, .
All this was most extraordinary and Bell a could make

"
,
.
nothing of it but that John was in the right How in the

’
right and h o w suspected of being in the wrong she co uld

, ,
not divine Some vague idea that he had never really

.
assumed the name of Handford and that there was a ,
remarkable likeness between him and that mysterious person ,
was h e r nearest approach to any definite explanation B ut .
John was triumphant that much was made apparent and

she coul d wait for the rest .
When John came home to dinner next day he said , ,
sitting down on the sofa by Bella and baby Bella My dear ,
I have a piece of news to tell you I have left the China .
II o u s e J
’
As he seemed to like having left it B e lla took it for ,
granted that there was n o misfortu ne in the case .
“ “
In a word my love said John the China House is
, ,
”
broken up and abolished There is no such thing any .
”
more .
“
Then are you already in another House Jo hn
, ,
Yes my d arling I am i n another way of bus i ness An d

, .
'
.
I am rather better o ff .
”
The inexhaustible baby was instantly made to congratulate

him and to say with appropriate action on the part of a
, ,
V ery lim p arm and a speckled fist :

“
Th ree cheers ladies and ,
m l m m Hoo — ray !
ge p e o r u s .
“ ”
I am afraid my life said John that you have become
, , ,
very much attached to this cottage .

”
“
Afraid I have John Of cou rse I h ave ,
.
The reason why I said afraid returned John , ,
because we must move .
“
Oh John ,
Yes my dear we must move We must have our head

, ,
.
quarters i n London now In Short there s a dwelling house .

,
’
-
,
rent free attached to my new position and we must occupy

-
, ,
’9
it '
That s a gain John ’
, .
898 O UR MUTUAL FRI E ND
J ohn dear ! cried Bella looking out of the window in
”
a flutter Do you see where we are

.
Yes my love The coachman s qui te right

,
.
’
.
The h ouse door was Opened without any knock ing or ring
-
ing and John promptly helped her out The servant who
, .
stood h olding the door asked no question of John neither ,
did he go before them o r follow them as they went straight

’
u p stairs
-
It was only her husband s encircling arm u rging
.
,
her on that prevented Bella from stopping at the foot of

the stai rcase As they ascended it was seen t o be tastefully
.
,
ornamented with most beau tiful flowers

Oh John ! said B ella faintly
,
”
What does th is ,
.
mean
Nothing my darling nothing Let us go on
, ,
. .
Going on a little higher they came to a charming aviary , ,
in which a number of tropical birds more gorgeous in colour ,
than the flowers were flying about ; and among those birds
,
were gold and silver fish an d mosses and water lilies and .
,
-
,
a fountain and all manner of wonders

,
.
“ ”
Oh my dear John ! said Bella
,
What does this .
mean
Noth i ng my darl ing nothing Let us go on
, ,
. .
They went on until they came to a door As John pu t

,
.
out his hand to open it B ella caught his hand ,

.
’ ’
I don t know what it means but it s too mu ch for me ,
.
Hold me John love , .

”
John cau ght her up in his arm and li ghtly dashed into ,
the room with her .
Behold Mr and Mrs Bofli n beaming ! B ehold Mrs Boffin

. . .
clapping her hand s in an ecstasy ru nning to Bella with tears , ,
of j oy pouring down her comely fac e an d folding her to her

My deary deary deary girl that
,
“
breast with the words
, , , ,
Noddy and me s a w married and couldn t wish j oy to or so ’
much as Speak to ! My deary deary deary w i fe of Joh n , , , ,
and mother of his little child ! My loving loving bright , ,
bright Pretty Pre tty Welcome to your house and home

, .
,
my deary
C HAP T ER X I I I
SHOW ING HOW THE GOLDE N D USTM AN HELP E D TO

SC ATT E R D UST
I N all the first bewilderment of her wonder the most b e ,
wil d e r i n gly wonderful thing to Bella was the Shining coun

te n a n c e of Mr Boffin That his wife should be j oyou s
. .
,
open hearted and genial or that her face should express

-
, ,
every quality that was large and trusting and no quality ,
that was little or mean was accordant with Bella s e x pe r i

,
’
ence But that he with a perfectly b e n e fic e n t a ir and

.
,
a plump rosy face sh ould be s ta n d i n g th e r e looking at her

,
.
,
and John l ike some j ovial good spir it was mar vellous
, , .
F or how had he l ooked when Sh e last saw him in that very

room (it was the room in which S h e had given him that
piece of her m i nd at parting) and what had become of all , _
those crooked lines of suspicion avarice and distrust that , , ,
twisted his V isage then

Mrs Bo th u seated Bella on the large ottoman and seated
.
,
herself beside her and John her husband seated himself on

, , ,
the other Side of her and Mr Bo ffin stood be aming at every

,
.
one and everyth i ng he could s ee with surpassing j ollity and ,
enj oyment Mrs Boffin was then taken with a laughing fit

. .
of clapping her hands and clapping her knees and rocking ,
herself to and fro and then with an other laughing fit of

,
embracing Bella and rocking her to and fro — both fits of

considerable duration .
“
Old lady old lady said Mr Boffin at
, ,
you .
,
don t begin somebody else must

’
.
“
I m a going to begin Noddy my dear returned Mrs
’
-
, , ,
.
Boffin .Only it isn t easy for a person to know where to

’
begin when a person is in this State of delight and happi

,
ness Bella my dear Tell me who s this

.
,
.
,
’
“ “
Who is this repeated Bella My husband . .
Ah But tell me his name , deary cried Mrs Bo ffin . .

g oo OUR MU TU AL FRIEND
Ro k e s m i th .
No it ain t ! cried Mrs Bo ffin clapping her han ds and

,
’ ”
.
,
shaking her head Not a bit of it . .

”
Handford then suggested Bella , .
No it ain t ! cried Mrs Bofii n again clapping her hands

,
’ ”
.
Not a bit of it
,
and shaking her head . .

”
At least his n ame is John I suppose

,
said Bella , .
Ah ! I should think so deary cried Mrs Boffin , . .
I should hope so ! Many an d many is the time I have

calle d h i m by his name of John But what s his other name .
’
his true other name ? Give a guess my pretty , .

”
“ ’
I can t guess said Bella turnin g her pale face from ,
”
one to another .
“
I could cried Mrs Bofii n ,
”
and what s more I did .
,
’
I found him out all in a flash as I may say one night , , .
Didn t I Noddy ?
’
Aye ! Th at the old lady did ! said Mr Bo ffin with ”

.
,
stout pride in the circumstance .
Harkee to me deary pursued Mrs Bo fii n t aking Bella s , ,

”
.
,
’
hands between her own and gently beating on them from ,

“
time to time It was after a particul ar night when John
.
had been disappointe d — as he thought —i n his affections It

.
was after a night when John had made an offer to a certain

young lady and the certain young lady had refused it It
, .
was after a particular night when he felt h i mself cast away ,

-
like an d had made up his mind to go seek his fortune It

was the very n ext ni ght My Noddy w anted a paper out of
.
,
’
hi s Secretary s room and I says to Noddy I am going by , ,
the door and I ll ask him for it

,
I tapped at his door an d
’
.
’
he didn t hear me I l o o k e d in and saw him a sitti ng lonely

’
.
,
-
by his fire brooding over it He chanced to look up with

, . .
a pleased kind of smil e in my company when he saw me ,
and then in a single moment every grain of the gunpowder ,
that had been lying sprink led thick about him ever since
I first set eyes upon him as a man at th e Bower took fire ! ,
Too many a time had I seen him sitting lonely when he ,
was a poor chil d to be pitied heart and hand ! Too many , ,
a time had I seen h i m in n e ed of being brightened up with

a comforting word Too many and too many a time to be
mistaken when that glimpse of him come at last
,
No no
’
I j ust makes out to cry I know you now ! You re John ,
And he catches me as I drop s — So what said Mrs Bo ffin ,

”
.
,
breaking o ff in the rush of her speech to smile most radiantly ,

902 OU R MUTU AL FRIEND
Your exact words said John laying his hand on hers , ,

'
.
’
That s a very good arrangement cried Mrs Boffin : ,
”
.
Keep it there John And as We was all of us in it Noddy

,
.
, ,
you come and lay yours a top of his and we won t break the -
,
’
pile till the story s done ’

.
”
Mr Bofii n hitched up a c hair and added his broad brown

.
,
right hand to the heap .
That s capital ! said Mrs Bofii n giving it a kiss

’ ”
.
, .
Seems quite a family building don t it ? But the horses ’
‘
is o ff Well ! Wh en I cries out that night I know you
.
,
n o w ! you re J ohn !
’ ’
John catches of me it is true ; but ,
I ain t a light weight bless ye and he s forced to let me

’
, ,
’
down Noddy he hears a noise and in he trots an d as soon

.
, , ,
as I anyways comes to myself I calls to him Noddy well , ,
I might say as I did say that night at the B ower for the
'
, ,
Lord be thankful this is John On which he gives a heave ,
and down he goes likewise with his head under the writing ,
table This brings me round comfortable and that brings

.
,
him round comfortable and then John and him and me we ,
all fall a crying for j oy

-
.
Yes ! They cry for j oy my d arling her husband struck , ,

“
in . You u nderstand These two wh om I come to life ,
-
to disappoint and dispossess cry for j oy

Bella looked at him confusedly , and looked again at Mr s
,
Boffin s radiant face

’
.
“ ’
That s right my dear don t you mind him said Mrs
, ,
’
,
.
Bo ffin stick to me Well ! Then we sits down gradually .

,
gets cool and holds a confabulation John he tells u s how

, .
he is despairing i n hi s mind on accounts of a certain fair

young person and how if I hadn t found him out he was
, ,
’
going away to seek his fortune far and wide an d had fully ,
meant never to come to life but to leave the property as ou r ,
wrongfu l inheritance for ever and a day At which y ou .
never see a man s o frightened as my Noddy was F or to

.
.
think that he should have come in to the property wrongful ,
however innocen t and — more than that— might h ave gone

,
”
on keeping it to his dying day turned him whiter than chalk , .
And you too s aid Mr Bo fii n ,

”
. .
Don t you mind him neither my deary resumed Mrs

’
, ,
'
,
.
Bo ffin ; stick to me This brings up a certain confabula .
tion regarding a certain fair young person when Noddy he

gives it as his opinion that she is a deary c re e tu r She .
‘ ’
may be a leetle spoilt and n a t r a lly spoilt he says by ,
’
, ,
MRS . B O FF IN C O NTINU ES 9 3 0
’
circumstances but that s only on the surfa c e and I lay m y
, ,
’
life he says that she s the true golden gold at heart
,
’
,
’
.
“
So did you said Mr Bo ffin ,
. .
’
Don t you mind him a single morsel my dear proceeded , ,
“
Mrs Bo ffin but stick to me Then says J ohn Oh if he
.
, .
. , ,
could but prove 80 ! Then we both of us ups and says that ,

‘
minute Prove so !
With a start B ella directed a hurried glance towards Mr
,
.
,
Bo ffin But he was sitting thoughtfully smiling at that

.
broad brown han d of his and either didn t see it or would ,

’
take no notice of it .
‘
Prove it John ! we says repeated Mrs Bofii n
,
’
,
. .
Prove it and overcome your doubts with triumph and be ,
happy for the first time in your life and for the rest of your
'
life
.
’
T h is puts J ohn in a state to be su re Then we says , [
.
,
‘
What will content you ? If she was to stand up for you
when you was slighted if she was to s how herself of a ,
generous mind when you Wa s oppressed i f she was to be ,
truest to you when you was poorest and friendliest and all
‘
this against her own seeming interest how wou ld that do ,

‘ ‘ ’
Do says John it would raise m e to the skies Then , .
,
’
‘
says my Noddy make your preparations for the a scent , ,
John it being my firm belief that u p you go

,
‘
Bella caught Mr Bofii n s twinkling eye for half an .
’
instant but he got it away from her and restored it to his ,
broad brown b a n d .
“
F rom the first you was a lways a special favourite of ,
Noddy s said Mrs Bo ffin shaking her head

’
,
”
Oh you were .
, .
An d if I h a d been inclined to be j ealous I don t know what ’
I mightn t have done to you But as I wasn t —why my

,
’ ’
.
,
” “
beauty with a hearty laugh and an embrace I made you
, ,
a special favourite of my own too But the horses is coming .
round the corner Well ! Then says my Noddy shaking .

,
‘
his sides till he was fit to make em ache again : Look out ’
for being slighted and oppressed John for if ever a man h a d , ,
a h ard master you shall find me from this present time to

,
be such to you An d then he began c ried Mrs Boffin in

.
’
.
,
an ecstasy of admiration Lord bless you then h e began .

,
”
And how he d i d begin didn t he ! ’
Bell a looked half frightened and yet half lau ghed ,

.
“
But bless you pursued Mrs Bofli n
,
if you could h ave , .
,
seen him of a night at that time of it ! The way he d sit ,

’
‘ ’
and chuckle over himself ! The way he d say I ve been a ’
,
’
regular brown bear to day and take himself in his arms and -
,
hug himself a t the thoughts of the brute he had pretended .
‘
But every night he says to me Better and better old ,
lady What did we say of her

. She ll come through it ’
the true golden gold This ll be the happiest piece of work .

’
‘
we ever done And then he d say I ll be a grislier old
.
’ ’
,
’
growler to morrow and laugh h e would till John an d

-
, ,
me was often forced to slap his back and bring it out of his .
windpipes with a little water .

”
Mr Bo fii n with his fac e bent over his heavy hand made

.
, ,
no sound but rolled his sho u lders when thus referred to as

, ,
if he were vastly enjoying himself .
”
And so my good and pretty pursued Mrs Bo ffin
,
you , .
,
was married and there was we hid up in the church organ by

,
-
this husband of yours ; for he wouldn t let u s out with it ’
‘ ‘ ’
then as was first meant
,
No he says she s so unselfish .
, ,
’
and contented that I can t a fford to be rich yet I must

,
’
.
wait a l ittle longer Then when baby was expected he says.

’
, ,
‘
She is such a cheerful glorious house wife that I can t a fford , ,
’
to be rich yet I must wait a little longer . Then when .

’
,
‘
baby was born he says She is so much better than she ever
, ,
Wa s that I can t affor d to be rich yet

’
,
I must wait a little .
’
longer And so he goes on and on till I s ays o u tright
.
, ,
‘ "
Now John if you don t fix a ti m e for se tting her up in her
, ,
own house and home and letting u s walk out of it I ll turn , ,

’
’
Informer Then he says he ll only wait to triumph beyond
.
,
’
what we ever thought possible and to show her to us b etter ,
than even we ever supposed a nd he says She shall see me ,

“
under suspicion of having mu rdered myself and y ou shall see ,
how trusting and how true she ll be Well ! Noddy and me ’

.
’
agreed to that and he was right and here yo u are and the
, , ,
horses is in and the story is done and God bless you my

, , ,
beauty and God bless us a l l !

,
The pile of hands dispersed and B ella and Mrs Bo ffin took ,
.
a good long hug of one another : to the apparent peril of the

inexhaustible baby lying staring in Bella s lap ,
’
.
“ “
But i s the sto ry done said Bella pondering Is there ,
.
no mo re of it ?
‘
What more of it should there be dear y ? returned Mrs ,
.
Bo ffin full of glee

, .
Are you sure y o u have left nothing out of it ? asked Bella ”

.
‘
I don t th i nk I have said Mrs Bofli n archly
’
,
”
.
,
.
“
John dear said Bella you re a good nurse ; will you
,
”
,
’
06
—
9 O UR M UTU A L FRIEND
making me grasping calculating insolent insu fferable and , , ,
you took the pains to be the dearest and ki ndest fin ge r po s t -
that ever was set up anywhere pointing out the road that I ,
was taking and the end it led to Confess instantly .
John said Mr Bo ifin one broad piece of sunshine from

,
.
“ ”
head to fo ot I wish you d help me out of this
, .
“ ’ ”
You can t be heard by counsel s i r returned Bella , , .
Y ou must spea k for yourself Confess instantly .
“
Well my dear said Mr Boffin the truth is that when
, ,
”
.
, ,
we did go in for the little scheme that my old lady has pi n te d

out I did put it to John what did he think of going in for
, ,
some such general scheme as you have pi n te d out ? Bu t I

’
didn t i n any way so word it because I didn t in any way so
’
mean it I only said to John wouldn t it be m o re consistent

.
,
’
me going in for being a reg lar brown bear respecting him to ’
go in as a reg lar brow n bear all round ’
“ ”
Confess this minute sir said Bella that you did it to , , ,
”
correct and amend me !
“ “
Certainly my dear child said Mr Boffin ,
I didn t do ,
.
,
’
it to harm you you may be sure of that And I did hope .
it might j ust hint a caution Still it ought to be mentioned .

,
that no sooner had my old lady found out John than John ,
made known to her and me that he had had his eye upon a
thankless person by the name of Silas W e gg Partly for the .
punishment of which W e gg by leading him on in a very u n ,
handsome and u nderhanded ga m e that he was playing the m ,
books that you and me bought so many of together (and ,

’
b y the bye my dear he wasn t Blackberry Jones but Blew
- -
, , ,
berry) was read aloud to me by that person of the name of

Silas W e gg aforesaid .
Bella who was still on her knees at Mr Boffin s feet

, .
’
gradually sank down in a sitting posture on the ground as ,
she meditated more and more thoughtfully with her eyes ,
upon his beaming face .
“
Still said Bella after this meditative pause
, there , ,
remain two things that I cannot understand Mrs Boffin

'
. .
never supposed any part of the change in Mr Boffin to be .
real ; did she ? You never did ; did you ? asked Bella ”
turning to her .
No returned Mrs Boffin with a most rotund and .
glowing negative .
“
And yet you took it very much to heart said Bella ,
.
I remember its making you very uneasy indeed , .

”
MR . B O FFIN HIM SE L F AGAIN 90 7
Ecod you see Mrs John has a sharp eye John
,
cried .
,
Mr Boffin shaking his head with an admiring air

.
,
You re .
’
right m y dear The old lady nearly blowed us into shivers

,
. .
and smithers many tim es

”
Why aske d Bella .H ow did that happen when she .
”
was i n you r secret ?
Why it was a weakness I n th eold lady said Mr Boffin
, , .
and yet to tell you the whole truth and nothin g but the
,
’
truth I m rather proud of it My dear the old lady thinks
,
.
,
’
so high of me that she couldn t abear to see and hear me '
com i ng ou t as a r e gu l a r brown one Couldn t abear to make .

’
believe a s I meant it ! In consequence of which we was

»
everlastingly in danger with her .

”
Mrs Boffin laughed heartily at herself ; but a certain

.
glistening i n her honest eyes revealed that she was by no

means cured of that dangerous propensity .
“ “
I assure you my dear said Mr Boffin that on the
, ,
”
.
,
celebrated day when I made what has since been agreed upon
to be my grandest demonstration—I allude to Mew says
the cat Qu ack quack says the du ck and Bow wow wow says
- - -
the dog —I assure you my dear that o n th a t celebrated

, ,
'
, ,
day them fii n ty and unbelieving words hit my old lady so

,
hard on my accou nt that I had to hold her to prevent her , ,
running out after you and d e fending me by saying I was ,
playing a part .
Mrs Boffin laughed heartily again a n d her eyes glistened

.
,
again and it then appeared not only that in that burst

, ,
of sarcastic eloquence Mr Bo ffin was considered by his two .
fellow conspirators to have outdon e himself but that in

-
,
his own O pinion it was a remarkable achievement Never .
”
thought of it afore the momen t my dear ! he observed to ,
“
B ella .When John said if he had been so happy as to ,
win your affections and possess your heart it co me into my ,

‘
head to turn round upon him with Win her affections and
possess her heart ! Mew says the cat Quack quack says the ,
’ ’
duck and Bow wow wow says the dog
,
I couldn t tell you
- -
.
how it come into my head or where from but it had so ,
much the sou nd of a rasper that I own to you it a stonished

myself I was awful nigh bursting out a laughing though
.
-
,
when it made John stare

“ “
You said my pretty Mrs Bo ffin reminded B ella that
, ,
.
there was one other thing you couldn t understand ’

.
“
Oh yes cried Bella covering her face with her hands ,
908 OU R MU T U A L F RIEND
but that I nev er shall be able to understan d as long as I

'
live It is how John could love me s o when I so littl e

. .
, _
deserved it an d how you Mr and Mrs Bo fii n could b e so

‘
. .
, , ,
forgetful of yourselves and take such pains and trouble to ,
make me a little be tter and after all to help him to so ,
unworthy a wife But I a m very very grateful .

,
.
It was J ohn Harmon s turn then — John Harmon now for ’
good and John Rok e s m i th for nevermore— to plead with her

,
(quite unnecessaril y) i n behalf of his deception and to tell ,
her over and over again , that it had been prolonged by her
,
own winning graces in her suppo sed station of life This led .
on to many interchanges of endearment a nd enj oyment on all .
sides in the midst of which the Inexhaustible being observed

,
staring in a most i m becile manner on Mrs Boffin s breast ,

.
’
was pronounced to be supernaturally inte l ligent as to th e

whole transaction and was made to declare to the ladies and ,
g e m pl e m o r u m s with a wave of the speckled fist (with

,
“
difficulty detached from an exceedingl y short waist) I ,
h ave already informed my venerable Ma that I kn ow all

”
about it .
Then said John Harmon would Mrs J ohn Harmon come

, ,
.
and s e e her house And a dainty house it was an d a taste ,
fully beautiful ; and they went thro ugh it in procession ;

the Inexhaustible on Mrs Boffin s bosom (still staring) .
’
occupying the middle station an d Mr Bo ffin bringing up , .
’
the rear And on Bella s exquisite toilette table was an
.
ivory casket an d in the casket we re jewels the like of which

,
she had never dreamed of and aloft on a n upper floor was a ,
nursery garnished as with rainb ows “

though we were hard
“
put to it said John Harmon to get it done in so short
”
, , .
”
a time .
'
The hou se inspected emissaries removed the Inexhaustible , ,
wh o was shortly afterwards heard screaming among the rain

bows whereupon Bella withdrew herself from the presence
and knowledge of ge m pl e m or u m s an d the screaming ceased, ,
and smiling Peace associated herself with that young olive

branch .
“
Come and look in Noddy ! said Mrs Bo ffin to Mr ,
”
. .
Bo ffin .
Mr Bo ffin submitting to be led on tiptoe to the nu rsery

.
,
door looked in with immense satisfaction although there was

, ,
nothing to see but Bella in a musing state of happiness , _
seated in a little low chair upon the hearth with her child ‘
,
A P RE TTY P ICTURE 91 1
in her fair young arms an d her soft eyelashes shading h e r

,
eyes from the fire .
“
It looks as if the old man s spirit had found rest at last
’
don t it ? said Mrs Boffin

’
. .
Yes old lady , .

”
And as if his money had turned bright again after a ,
long long rust in the dark an d was at last beginnin g to

, ,
Sparkle in the sunlight

“
Yes old lady , .
”
And it makes a p retty and a promising pi c te r : don t ’
Yes old lady , .
But aware at the instant of a fine opening for a point

, ,
Mr Bo ffin quenche d that observation in this— delivered in

.
“
the grisliest growling of the regular brown bear A pretty .
and a hopeful pi e ter ? Mew Quack quack Bow wow,

-
,
-
And then trotted silently d own stairs with his shoulders I n

-
,
a state of the liveliest commotion .

C HAP T ER XI V
C HE C KMAT E TO THE FRI E NDLY MOV E
M R and Mrs John Harmon h a d so timed their taking

. .
possession of their rightful name and their London house ,
that the event befell on the very day when the last waggon
load of the last Mound was d riven out at the gate s of Bo ffin s ’
Bower As it j olted away Mr W e g g felt that the last load

.
, .
was correspondingly removed from his mind and hailed the ,
auspicious season when that black sheep Boffin was to be , ,
closely sheared .
Over the whole slow process of levelling the Mounds S i las ,
had kept watch with rapaciou s eyes But eyes no less .
rapacious had watched the growth of the Mounds in years

.
bygone and had vigilantly sifted the dust of which they were
,
composed No valuables turned up How should there be

. .
any seeing that the old hard j ailer of Harmony Jail had
,
coined every waif and stray into money long before

Though disappointed by this bare result Mr W e gg felt , .
too sensibly relieved by the close of the labour to grumble

to any great extent A foreman represen tative of the dust
.
-
contractors purchasers of the M ounds had worn Mr W e gg

, , .
down to skin and bone This supervisor of the proceedings.
asserting his employers rights to cart off by daylight night’
light torchlight when they would must have been the death
, , ,
of Silas if the work had lasted much lo n ger Seeming never to .
need sleep himself he woul d reappear with a tied u p broken

, ,
-
head in fantail hat and velveteen smalls like an accursed

, ,
goblin at the most unholy and untimely hours Tired out

, .
by keeping close ward over a long day s work in fog and rain ’
Silas would have just crawled to bed an d be dozing when a ,
horrid shake and rumble under his pillow would anno u nce an
approaching train of carts escorted by this Demon of Unrest , ,
to fall to work again At another time he would be rumbled

.
,
up out of his soundest sleep in the dead of the night ; at ,

In a Dutch bottle said W e gg gloomil y as he sat hi m ~ ,
self down .
“ ”
Very good sir very good ! cried Venus ,
Will you ,
p artake s i r ?,
Will I partak e returned W e gg very surlil y “

Why .
,
of course I wi ll ! Wi ll a man partake as has been tormented ,
out of his five senses by an everl astin g dustman with his head
ti e d u p W i ll he too As if he wouldn t ! ’ ”
'
Don t let it put you out Mr W e g g You don t seem in

’
,
. .
’
your usual Spirits .

”
“
If you come to that you don t seem i n your usu al ,
’
spirits growled W e gg
,
“
You seem to b e setti ng up for .
lively .
”
This circumstance appeared in hi s then state of mind to , ,
give Mr W e gg uncommon O ffe nce

. .
“
An d you ve been havin g you r hair cut ! said W e gg
’ ”
,
missing the usual dusty shock .
“
Yes Mr W e gg
,
But don t let that put you out
. .
’
either .
”
An d I am blest if you ain t getting fat said W e gg ’
,
“
with culminating discontent What are you goin g to do
next
“
Well Mr W e gg said Venus smi li ng in a sprightly
,
.
, ,
manner I suspect you could hardly gues s what I am going

,
.
to do next .
I don t want to guess retorte d W e gg

’
All I ve got , .
’
to say is that it s well for you that the d i wi s i on of labour

,
’
has been what it has been It s well for you to have had so .
’
light a part i n this busin ess when m i ne has been so heavy ,

.
’ ”
You haven t had y ou r rest broke I ll be boun d ,
’
.
‘
Not at all sir said Venu s Never rested so well in
, ,
”
.
all my life I thank you ,

.
Ah ! grumbled W e gg
”
you should have been me If ,
.
you had been me and h ad be en fretted out of your bed and , ,
your sleep and your meals and you r mind for a stretch of
, , ,
months together you d have been out of condition and out ,

’
of sorts .
“
Certain ly it has train ed you down Mr W e gg said ,
.
,
’
Ven u s contemplating his figure with an artist s eye
,
.
“
Tra i ned you down ve r y low it has SO weazen and yellow ,
is the k i v e r i n g upon your bones that one might al most fancy ,
you had come to give a look i n upon the F rench gentleman -
in the corner instead of me ,

.
”
MR . V ENUs G O ING To BE M ARRI E D 9 5 1
Mr W e gg glancing in great dudgeon towards the F rench

.
,
gentleman s corner seemed to notice somethi ng new there

’
, ,
which induced hi m to glance at the O pposite corner and then ,
to put on his glasses and stare at all the nooks and c orners
of the dim shop in succession .
’ ”
Why you ve been having the place cleaned up ! he
,
exclaimed .
“
Yes Mr W e gg By the hand of adorable woman
“
. . .
,
Then what you re going to do next I suppose is to get ’
, ,
married
“
That s it sir ’
,
.
Silas took O ff his glasses again — fin d i n g himself too i n

tensely disgusted by the sprightly appearance of his fr iend
and partner to bear a magnified V i ew of him and made the ,
inquiry
To the old party
Mr W e gg
. said Ven u s with a sud d en flu sh of wrath , .
The lady in question is not a old party .
“
I meant explained W e gg testily ,
” “
to the party as , ,
formerly obj ected

Mr W e gg said Venus in a case of so much delicacy
.
“ ”
.
, , ,
I mu st trouble you to say what you mean There are strings .
t hat must not be played upon No sir Not sounded unless .

, ,
in the most respectful and tuneful man ner Of su ch melo .
”
d i ou s strings is Miss Pleasant Riderhood formed .
Then it i s the lady as formerly obj ected said W e gg .
” “
Sir returned Venu s with dignity I accept the altered
, ,
phrase It is the lady as formerly

.
“
When is it to come o ff ? asked Silas .
Mr W e gg said Venus with another flush

.
,
“
I c annot , ,
permit it to be pu t in the form of a F ight I must .
temperately but firmly call upon you sir to amend that , ,
question .
”
When is the lady W e gg relu ctantly dem an ded con , ,
straining his ill temper in remembrance of the partnership-
“
and its stock i n trade a going to give her
-
and wh ere she
-
,
-
’
has already given her art ’

.
“
Sir returned Venus I again accept the altered phrase
,
”
, ,
and with pleasu re The lady is a going to give her and .

-
’
’
W here she has already given her art next Monday ,
.
“
Then the lady s objection has been met ? said Silas ’
.
Mr W e gg said Venu s as I did name to you I think

.
“
,
”
, , ,
o n a former occasion if not on former occasions ,

916 OU R MUTU A L F
RI E ND
On former occasions interrupted W e gg
—What pursued Venus what the nature of the lady s
, .
” ’
, ,
O bj ection was I may impart without violating any of the

, ,
tender c on fid e n c e s since sprung up be tween the lady and

myself how it has been met th rough the k i nd interference
, ,
of two goo d friends O f mine : one previously acquainted with

the lady : and one not The pint was thrown out s ir by , .
,
‘
those two friends when they did me the gr eat service of

waiting on the lady to try if a union betwixt the lady and
me could not be brought to bear — the pint I say was thro wn , ,
out by them sir whether if after marriage I confined myself

, , , ,
to the articulation of men ch i ldren an d the lower animals , , ,
it might not relieve the lady s mind of her feeling respecting ’
be i ng — as a lady— regarded in a bony light I t was a happy .
”
thought sir and it took root
, , .
“
It woul d seem Mr Venus observed W e gg with a touch , .
, ,
of distru st that you are flush of friends

,
”
Pretty well sir that gentleman answered in a tone of, , ,
“ ”
placid mystery SO s o sir Pretty well .
-
,
. .
“
However said W e g g after eyeing him with another
,
”
,
“
touch of distrust I wish you j oy One man spends his ,
.
fortune in one way and another in another You are goi ng ,

.
to try matrimony I mean to try travellin g . .
Indeed Mr W e gg ? .
”
Change of air sea scenery and my natural rest I hope ,

-
, ,
may bring me round after the persecutions I have undergone

from the dustman with his head tied up which I j ust now ,
m entioned The tough j ob being ended an d the Mounds laid

.
'
low the hour is come for Bofii n to stump up Would ten
,
.
to morrow morning suit you partner for final ly b r inging

-
, ,
Boffi n s nose to the grindstone

’
Ten to morrow morning would quite suit Mr Venu s for

-
.
that excellent purpose .
You have had him wel l u nder inspection I hope said ,
Silas .
Mr Venus had h a d him under inspection pretty well every

.
day .
Suppose you was j ust to step round to night then and -

,
give him orders from me — I say from me because he knows ,
I won t be played with — to be ready with his papers his

’
, '
accounts and h i s cash at that time in the morning

,
said ,
W e gg “
As a matter of form which will be a greea ble to
.
,
your o wn feelings before we go out (for I ll walk with you ,

’
a severe countenance and who had come in quietly by the ,
folding doors -
.
Oh s ai d W e gg as soon as he recovered hi s suspended ,
power of speech Very good I gave d i rectio ns for you

.
’ ’
to be dismissed An d y o u ain t gone ain t you Oh ! We ll
.
,
’
look into this presently Very good .
No nor I ain t gone s ai d another voice

,
’
, .
Somebody else had come in quietly by the folding doors -

.
Turning h i s head W e g g beheld his persecutor the ever , ,
wakeful dustman accoutred with fantail hat and velveteen ,
smalls complete Who untyi ng his tied u p broken head .

,
'
-
,
revealed a head that was whole and a face that was ,

“
Sl oppy
’
s .
“ ”
Ha ha ha gentlemen ! roared Sloppy in a peal of
, , , ,
“
laughter and with i mmeasurable relish
,
He never thought .
as I could sleep st a nding an d Often done it when I turned ,
for Mrs Higden He never thought as I use d to give Mrs

. .
Higden the Police news i n di fferent voices But I did lead

-
him a l ife all through it gentlemen I hope I really an d , ,
truly DI D Here Mr Sloppy O pening his mouth to a quite , .
alarming extent and throwing back his head to peal again , ,
revealed incalcul able buttons .
“
Oh said W e gg slightly d i s c om fite d but not much as , ,
yet : On e and one is two not dismissed is it ? Bof— fin !

“
,
Just let me ask a question Who set thi s chap on in this .

,
dress when the cartin g began Who employed this fellow

,
“
I say ! remonstrated Sloppy j erking h i s head forwar d
”
,
.
’ ”
No fellows or I ll throw you out of win der !
,
Mr Bo fli n appeased h i m with a wave of his hand and

.
,
said : I employed him W e gg

“
,
.
“
Oh ! You employed him Boffin ? Very good Mr , . .
’
Venus we raise our terms and we can t do better than
, ,
proceed to business Bof— fin I want the room cleared of .
these two scum ”

“
That s not goin g to be done W e gg replied Mr Bo fii n
’
, ,
.
,
sitting composedly on the librar y table at one end while -

, ,
the Secretary sat composedl y on it at the other .
BO f— fin ! Not going to be done ? repeated W e gg ”

.
Not at your peril ?

“
No W e gg said Mr Boffin shaking his head good
, ,
”
.
,
h u m ou r e d l y Not at my peril and not on any other

.
,
terms .
”
W e gg reflected a moment and then said Mr Venus ,

.
,
A SL EE P ING P ARTN ER I N THE C O NC ERN 1
9 9
will you b e so good as hand me over that same d o c k y
ment
“
Ce r tai nly sir replied Venus ha nd i ng it to him with
, , ,
“
much politeness There it is Having now sir parted . .
, ,
with it I wish to make a small Observation : not so much

,
because it is anyways necessary or expresses any new ,
doctrine or discovery as becau se it is a comfort to my mind ,

.
Silas W e gg you are a preciou s old rascal ”
Mr W e gg who as if anticipating a compli ment h a d been

.
,
.
, , ,
beating time w i th the paper to the other s politeness unt i l ’
this u nexpected conclusion came upon him stopped rather ,
abruptly .
“
Silas W e gg said Venu s know that I took the liberty
, ,
of taking Mr Bo fli n into our con cern as a sleeping partner

.
,
at a very early period of our fir m s existence ’

.
”
“
“
Qui te true added Mr Boffin ; and I tested Venu s by
,
.
making him a pretended proposal or two an d I found him

on the whole a very honest man W e g g , .
”
SO Mr Bo fli n in his indulgence is pleased to say Venus

.
, , ,
remarked : though in the beginnin g of this dirt my han d s ,
were not for a few hours quite as clean as I could wish

, ,
.
But I ho pe I made early and full amends .

”
Venus you did said Mr Boffin ,

Certain ly certainly ,
”
. .
, ,
cert ainly .
”
“
Venus inclined his head with respect and gratitude Thank .
you sir I am much O bliged to you sir for all F or your

,
.
, ,
.
good opinion now for your way of receiving and e n c ou r a g ,
ing me when I first put myself in communication with you ,
and for the influence sin ce so kindly brought to bear upon

”
a certain lady both by yourself and by Mr John Harmon
, . .
To whom when thus making mention of him he also

, ,
bowed .
W e g g followed the name with sharp ears and the action ,
with sharp eyes and a certain cringi ng air was infusing itself
,
into his bullying air when his attention was r e claimed by ,

-
Venus .
“
Everything else between you and me Mr W e gg said ,
.
,
Venus now explains itself and you can now make out sir
, , , ,
without fu rther words from me But totally to prevent .
any unpleasantness or mistake that might arise on what I

consider an important point to be made quite clear at the ,
cl o se of our acquaintance I beg the leave of Mr Bo ffin and ,

.
Mr John Harmo n to repeat an Observation which I have

.
MUTU AL F RI END
’
92 0 O UR
'
already had the pleasure of bringi ng under your notice Y ou .
are a precious O ld rascal

“
You are a fool said W e gg with a snap of his fingers
,
”
, ,
and I d have got rid of you before now if I could have

’
struck out any way of doing it I have thought it over I .

,
can tell you You may go and welcome Y Ou leave the

. . .
more for me Because you know said W e g g dividing his

.
, , ,
next O bservation between Mr Bo ffin and Mr Harmon I

’ “
. .
,
a m worth my price and I mean to have it This gettin g

, .
Of f is all very well i n its way and it tells with such an ,
anatomical Pump as this one pointing out Mr Venus but ,

”
.
,
’
it won t do with a Man I am here to be b ou gh t off and I .
‘
have named my fig u re Now buy me or leave me .

, ,
.
“
I ll leave you W e gg said Mr Bo ffin laughing as fa r
’
, , .
, ,
as I a m co n cerned
Bof—fin
.
replied W e g g turning upon him with a ,

“
severe air I understand y ou r new born boldness I see
.
-
.
the brass underneath you r silver plating You have got you r .
nose put out O f j oint Knowing that yo u ve nothing at .

’
stake you can a fford to come the indepen dent game Why
,
.
,
you re j ust so much smeary glass to see throu g h you know !

’
But Mr Harmon is in another s i ti wa ti o n What Mr Harmon

. . .
risks is quite another pair of shoes Now I ve h e e r d some ’
thing lately about this being Mr Harmon — I make out now

.
,
. ,
,
some hints that I ve met on that subject in the newspaper

’
— a n d I drop you BO f— fin as beneath my notice

,
I as k .
,
Mr Harmo n whether he has any idea of the contents of this

.
1 e s e n t paper
p
“
It I s a will of m y late father s of more recent date than ’
the will proved by Mr Bofli n (address whom again as you .

,
have addressed him already and I ll knock you down ) leaving ,

’
the whole of his property to the Crown said John Harmon ,

”
with as much indifference as was compatible with extreme

sternness .
“
Right you are ! cried W e g g ”
Then screwing the .
,
weight of his body upon his wooden leg and screwing his ,
wooden head very mu ch on one side and screwing up one ,

“ ’
eye : then I put the question to you wha t s this paper
, ,
worth ?
Nothing said John Harmon , .
W e gg had repeated the word with a snee r and was enteri ng ,
on some sarcastic retort when to his boundless amazement , , ,
he found himself gripped by the cravat ; shaken un til his

sailor like turn on his cravat and holding him in his corner
-
at arm s length ’
I shall make two more short speeches to
,
you because I hope they will torment you Your discovery

, .
was a genuine discovery (such as it was ) for nobody had ,
thought of looking into that place Neither did we know you .
had made it until Venus spoke to Mr Bo ffin though I kept

,
.
,
you under good observation from my first appearance here ,
and though Sloppy has l ong made it the chief occupation

and delight of his life to attend you like your shadow I .
te l l you this that you may kno w we knew enough of you to

,
persuade Mr Boffin to let us lead you on deluded to the

.
,
last possible moment in order that your disappointment ,

’
might be the heaviest possible disappo i ntment That s the .
first short speech do you u nderstand ,
Here John Harmon assisted his comprehens i on W i th another

shake .
“
Now scou ndrel he pursued I am going to finish
,
“
, ,
’
.
You supposed me j ust now to be the possessor of my father s

property — So I am But through any act of my father s
. .
’
or by any right I have NO Through the m u ni fic e n ce of .
Mr Bo ffin The conditions that he made with me before

. .
,
parting with the secret of the D u tch bottle were that I , ,
should take the fortune and that he should take his Mound ,
and no more I owe everything I possess solely to the

.
disinterestedness uprightnes s tenderness goodness (there , , ,

‘
are no words to satisfy me) of Mr and Mrs Bo fii n And ‘
. . .
when knowing what I knew I saw su ch a mud worm as

, ,
-
you presume to rise i n this house against this noble soul ,

”
the wonder is added John Harmon th rough his clenched
,
te eth and with a very ugly turn indeed on W e gg s cravat

,
’
that I didn t try to twist your head off and fling th a t out
’
of win d ow ! So That s the last short speech do you .

’
u nderstand
Silas released put his hand to his throat cleared it an d
, , , ,
looked as if he had rather a large fis h b o n e in that region .
Simultaneously with this action on his part in his corner a ,
sin gular and on the surface an incomprehensible movement

, ,
was made by Mr Sl Opp y : who began backing towards Mr . .
W e gg along the wall in the manner of a porter or heaver ,
who is about t o lift a sack O f flour or coals .
“
I am sorry W e g g said Mr Bofiin in his clemency
‘
, ,
”
.
, ,
that my O l d lady and I can t have a better O pin ion of you ’
'
than the bad one we are forced to entertain But I shouldn t .
’
W EG G S CLAIM FO R C O M PE N SATI O N 92 3
like to leave you after all said and done worse o ff in life
, ,
than I found you Therefore say in a word before we part.

,
what it ll cost to set you u p in another stall

’
.
“
An d in another place J ohn Harmon struck in ,
”
.
’ ”
don t come outside these windows .
“
Mr Boffin retu rned W e gg in avaricious humiliation
.
,
”
when I first had the honour of m aking your acquaint a nce ,
I had got together a collection of ball ads which was, I may

”
say above price
,
.
“
Then they can t be paid for said J ohn Harmo n ’
, ,
you had better not try my dear sir ,

.
”
Pardon me Mr Bo ffin resumed W e gg with a malignant

,
.
,
”
,
glance in the last speaker s direction “

I wa s putting the ’
case to you who if my senses did n ot deceive me put th e

'
, , ,
case to me I had a very choice collection of ballads an d

.
,
there was a n e w stock of gin gerbread in the tin box I say .
n o more but woul d rather leave it to you

,
.
“
But it s difficult to name what s right said Mr Bo fli n
’ ’
,
.
“ ’
uneasily with his hand in his pocket
,
and I don t want to ,
go beyond what s right because you really have turned out

’
such a very bad fellow So artful and so ungrateful you .

,
have been W e gg for when did I ever inj ure you

,
“
The re was also Mr W e gg went on in a meditative ,
”
.
,
“
manner a errand connexion in whi ch I was much respected
, ,
.
But I would not wish to be deemed covetous and I would ,
rather leave it to you Mr Bofli n , . .

”
Upon my word I don t know what to put it at the ,

’
Golden Dustman muttered .
“
There was likewise resumed W e gg a pair of trestles ,
”
, ,
for w hi ch alone a Irish perso n who was deemed a j udge Of ,
trestles O ffered five and six — a sum I would not hear O f for
, ,
I should have lost by i t— and there was a stool a umbrella , ,
a clothes horse and a tray B ut I leave it to you Mr

-
, .
,
.
Bo ffin .
”
The Golden Dustman see m ing to be e n gaged in som e

abstruse calculation Mr W e gg assisted him with the follow , .
ing additional items .
There was further Miss Elizabeth Master George Aunt

, , , ,
J ane and Uncle Parke r Ah

,
Wh en a man thinks of th e .
loss Of such patronage as that ; when a m a n finds so fair a

garden rooted up by pigs ; he finds i t hard in d eed without ,
going high to work it into money But I leave it wholly

, .
”
to y o u sir ,
.
2
Mr Sloppy still continued his Singular and on the surfac e
.
,
his incompreh ensible movement , .
Leading on has been mentioned said W e gg with a ,

’
melancholy air and it s not easy to say how far the tone of
,
my mind may have been lowered by unwholesome reading on

the subj ect of Misers when you was leading me and others ,
on to think y o u one you rself sir All I can say is that I ,

.
,
felt my tone of mind a lowering at the time And how can -

.
a man put a price upon his mind There was likewise a hat
j us t now But I leave the O l e to you Mr Bo ffin
.
, . .
”
Come ! said Mr Boffin ”

Here s a couple of pound
. .
’
.
”
In j ustice to myself I couldn t take it sir ,
’
,
.
The words were but out of his m on th when John Harmo n

lifted his finger and Sloppy who was now close to W e g g
, , ,
backed to W e gg s back stooped grasped his coat collar

’
, ,
behind with both hands and deftly swung him up like the ,
sack of flour or coals before mentioned A countenance of .
special discontent and amazement Mr W e gg exhibited in .
this position with his buttons almost as promi nently on

,
view as Sl o ppy s Own and with his wooden leg in a highly

’
,
-
unaccommodating state But not for many seconds was .
his countenance visible in the room ; for Sl oppy l ightly

trotted out with him and trotted do wn the staircase Mr ,
.
Venus attendi ng to O pen the street door Mr Sl oppy s . .

’
instructions had been to deposit his b u rden in the road but

a scavenger s cart happen i ng to stan d unattended at the
’
corner with its little T

,
adder planted against the wheel ,
M r S found it impossible to resist the temptation of shoot

. .
ing Mr Silas W e g g into the cart s contents A somewhat

.
’
.
d i ffi cult feat achieved with great dexterity and with a

, ,
prodigious Splash .
separate those two for ever he had been made the means of ,
uniting the m That he had dipped his hands in blood to

.
,
mark himself a miserable fool and tool That Eugene .
W r a y b u r n for his wife s sake set him aside and left him to
,
’
crawl along his blasted course He th o u gh t o f F ate or .

, ,
Providence or be the directing Power what it might as

having put a fraud upon him — overreached him —and in his
, ,
impotent mad rage bit and tore and had his fit , , .
Ne w ass u rance of the truth came upon him in th e next

fe w following days when it was put forth how the woun ded ,
man had been married on his bed and to whom ; an d how , ,
though always in a dangerous condition he was a shade ,
better Bradley would far rath er have been seized for his
.
murder than he would have read that passage k n owing

, ,
himself spared and knowing why , .
But not to be still further defrau ded and overreached

,
which he would be if implicated by Riderhood and punished ,
by the law for his abj ect failure as though it had been a
s u ccess — h e kept close in his school during the day ven ,
tu r e d out warily at night and went no more to the rail way ,
station He examined the advertisements in the newspapers

.
for any Sig n that Riderhood acted on his hinted threat O f so

s u mmoning him to renew their acquaintance but found ,
n one Having paid him handsomely for the support and

.
accommodation he had had at the Lock house and knowing -

,
him to be a very ignorant man wh o could not write he

began to d oubt whether he was to be feared at all or whether ,
they need ever m eet again ‘
Al l this time his mind was never o ff the rack and his
‘
, ,
raging sense Of having been made to fling himself across the

chasm which divided those two and bridge it over for their ,
coming together never co oled down This horrible con , .
dition brought on other fits He could not have said how .
many or when ; but he saw i n the faces of his pupils th at

,
they had seen h i m in that state and that they were possessed ,
by a dread of his relapsing .
One winter day when a slight fall of snow was feathering

the sills and frames Of the school room windows he stood at -
,
his black board crayon in hand about to commence with a

, ,
class when reading in the coun tenances of those boys that

,
there was something wrong and that they seemed in alarm ,
for him he turned his eyes to the door towards which they
,
faced He then saw a Slouching man of forbid ding appear

.
RID ERH OO D V I SITS THE SCH O OL 92 7
ance standing in the midst O f the school with a bundle under ,
his arm and saw tha t it was Riderhood .
He sat down on a stool which one of the boys put for him ,
and he had a passing knowledge that he was in danger of

falling and that h is face was becoming distorted But the
,
.
fit went off for that time and he wiped his mouth and stood , ,
Up again .
Beg your pardon governor By your leave said Rider ,

'
hood knuckling his forehe ad with a chuckle and a leer

, ,
.
What place may this be

“ ”
This is a school .
’
Where young folks learns wot s right ? said Riderhood ,
“
gravely nodding Beg your pardon governor ! By your
.
,
leave But who teaches this school ?

“
I do .
”
You re the master are you learned governor ?
’
, ,
Yes I am the master . .

”
“
And a lovely thing it must be said Riderhood fur to , ,
learn young folks wot s right and fu r to know wot they ’
know wot you do it B eg your pardon learned governor ! .

,
By your leave — That there black board wot s it fo r ’
It is for drawing on or writing on , .
“ ” ’
Is it though ! said Riderhood Who d have thought .
it from the looks on it

, Wou ld yo u be so kind as write your
name upon it learned governor ? (In a wheedling tone )
, .
Bradley hesitated for a moment ; but placed his usu al

signature enlarged upon the board, , .
I ain t a learned character myself said Riderhood

’
, ,
“
surveying the class but I do admire learning in O thers I , .
should dearly like to hear these here young folks read that
there name o ff from the writing , .
’
The arms O f the class went up At the miserable master s .
“
nod the shrill chorus arose : B radley Headstone
NO ? cried Riderhood
,
“
”
You don t mean it ? Head .
’
stone Why that s in a churchyard Ho or oa r for another

,
’
.
turn
Another tossing of arms another nod an d another shrill , ,
“
chorus Bradley Headstone
I ve got it now said Riderhood after attentively listen
’
,
“ ’
ing and internally repeating : Bradley I see C h r i s e n
,
. .
name Bradley s i m l a r to Roger which is my own Eh ?

, ,
’
.
F amily name Headstone Si m l a r to Riderhood which is my

, ,
’
own E h .
92 8 OUR MUTU AL FRI E ND
Shrill chorus Yes
Might you be acquainte d learned governor S aid Rider , ,
“
hood with a person of about yo u r own heighth and breadth
, ,
and wot u d pull down in a scale about your own wei ght
’
answering to a name sounding summat like TO th e r e s t ? ’
With a desperation in him that made him perfectly quiet .
th o ri gh his j aw was heavil y squared ; with his eyes upon

Riderhoo d ; and with traces O f quickened breathing in his
nostrils the schoolmaster rep l ied in a suppressed voice after
, , ,
a pause : I think I k n ow the man you mean .

”
I thought you knowed the man I mean learned governor , .
I want the man .

”
With a half glance around him at his pupils Bradley ,
ret u rned : DO you suppose he is here

“
B egging your pardon learned governor and by your , ,
leave said Riderhood with a laugh how could I suppose

,
” “
,
he s here when there s nobody here but you and me an d

’
,
’
, ,
these young lambs wot you re a learning o n ? Bu t he is ’

-
most excellent company that man and I want him to c o me , ,
and see me at my Lock up the river ,

.
”
“
I ll tell him so
’
.
”
’
D ye think he ll come asked Ri derhood ’
.
I am sure he will .
”
Ha vm g got your word for him said Riderhood I shal l , ,
co u nt upon h i m P r a p s you d so far o b l e e g e me learned

.
’ ’
governor as tell him that if he don t come preciou s soon I ll

,
’
,
’
l ook h i m up .
”
He shall know it .
Thankee As I says a while ago pursue d Riderhood

.
, ,
changing his hoarse tone and leering rou nd up on the class

“
again ,
though not a learned character my own self I do ,
admire learning in others to be sure ! Being here and ,
having met with your kind attention Maste r might I afore , , ,
I go as k a ques tion of these here young lambs of you rn

,
“
If it is in the way of school said Bra dl ey always ,
”
,
sustaining his dark look at the other and Speaking in h i s ,

“
suppressed voice you may ,
.
“ “ ’
Oh It s in the way O f school
’
cried Riderhood I ll .
’
pound it Master to be in th e way o f s c h o oL Wot s the
, ,
d i wi s i o n s O f water my lambs Wot sorts O f water is there

,
on the land
S h rill chor u s : Seas rivers lakes and ponds , , ,
.
“ ’
Seas rivers lakes and ponds said Riderhood
, ,
They ve, ,
”
.
the master to get through his w eary work as he might and ,
leaving the whispering pupils to Observe the master s fac e ’
until he fell into the fit which had been long impending .
The next day but one was Saturday and a holiday , .
B radley rose early and s et out on foot for P l a s h wa te r Weir

,
Mill Lock He rose so early that it was not yet light when
.
he began h is journey Before extinguishing the candle by

.
which he had dresse d himself he made a little parcel of his ,
decent Silver watc h and its decent guard and wrote inside ,
“ ”
the paper : Kindly take care O f these for me He then .
addressed the parcel to Miss P e e c h e r and left it o n the most ,
protected corner O f the little seat in her little porch .
I t was a cold hard easterly morning when he latched the

garden gate and turned away The light sno wf al l which .
had feathered his school ro om windows on the Thursday

’
s till lingered in the air and was falling white while the , ,
wind blew black The tardy day did not appear until he
.
had been on foot two hours and had traversed a great part ,
of London from east to west Such breakfast as he had h e .

,
t ook at th e comfortless public house where he had parted -
from Riderhood on the occasio n of their night walk He took -

.
it standing at the littered bar and looked loweringly at a ,
man who stood where Riderhood had stood that early morning .
He outwalked the short day and was on the towing path ,

-
by the rive r somewhat footsore when the night closed

, ,
in Still two or th r e e m il e s short of the Lock he slackened

‘
.
,
his pace then but went steadily on The ground was now
,
.
covered with sno w though thinly and there were floating

, ,
lumps of ice in the more exposed parts of the river an d ,
broken sheets of ice under the shelter of the ba nks He .
took heed O f nothing but the ice the snow and the distance , , ,
until he saw a light ahead which h e k n e w gleamed from the ,

'
Lock hou se window It arrested his steps and he looked al l

-
.
,
around The ice and the snow and he and the one light
.
, , , ,
had absolute possession of the dreary scene In th e distance .
before h i m lay the place where he had struck the worse than
useless blows that mocked him with Lizzie s presence there ’
as Eugene s wife In the distance behind him lay the place

’
.
,
where the children with pointing arms had seemed to devote

him to the demons in crying out his name Within there; .
where the light was was the man who as to both distances
,
could give him up to ruin To th ese limits had his world .
shrunk .
RID E RH O O D W ILL B E GIN 93 1
He mended his pace keeping his eyes upon the light with ,
a s tr a n ge i n te n s i ty as if he were taking a im at it When

, .
h e approached it so nearly as that it parted into rays they ,
seemed to fas ten themselves to him and draw h im on When .
he struck the door with his hand his foot followed so quickly ,
on h i s hand that he was in the room before he was bidden

to enter .
The light was the j oint product of a fire and a can dle .
Between the two with his feet on the iron fender sat Rider
, ,
h ood pipe i n mouth

,
.
He looked up with a surly nod when his visitor came in .
His visitor looked down with a surly nod His outer clothing .
removed the visitor then took a seat on the oppo s ite side of
,
the fire .
“
Not a smoker I thin k said Riderhood pushing a bottle
, ,
to him across the table .
NO .
”
They both lapsed into Sil ence with their eyes upon the ,
fire.
“
You don t need to be told I am here said Bradley at
’
length Who is to begin

.
“ “ ”
I ll begin said Riderhood when I ve smoked this here
’
, ,
’
”
pipe out .
He finished it with great deliberation knocked out the ,
ashes on the hob and put it by ,

.
“
I ll begin
’
he then repeated Bradley Headstone
,
”
,
”
Master if you wish it
,
.
“
Wish it I wish to know what you want with me .
And so you shall Riderhood had looked hard at his .
hands and his pockets apparently as a precautionary meas ure ,
lest he should have any weapon about him But he n ow .
leaned forward turning the collar of his waistcoat with an

,
inquisitive finger and asked W h y where s your watch

“
, , ,
’
“
I have left it behind .
”
’
I want it But it can be fetched I ve took a fancy
. .
”
to it .
B radley answered with a contemptuous laugh .
”
I want it repeate d Riderhood in a lou der voice
, , ,
I mean to have it .
That is what you want of me is it ? ,

” “
No said Riderhood still lou der
,
it s on y part of what ,
’ ’
I want of you I want money of you . .
Anything else
E v e r y th i n k else roared Riderhood in a very loud and ,
furious way .
“
Ans wer me like that, and I won t talk to ’
”
you at all .
B radley looked at him .
’
Don t so much as look at me l i ke that or I won t tal k ,
’
” “
to you at all vociferated Riderhood , B ut; instead of .
talking I ll bring my hand down upon yo u with all its

,
’
weight heavily smiting the table with great force

,
and ,
smash you .
”’
Go on said Bradley after moistening his lips
,
’
,
.
Oh ! I m a g oing on Don t you fear but I 11 go o nfull

’
.
’
.
’
fast enough for you and fur enough for y ou without yo u r , ,
telling Look here Bradley Headstone Master You might

.
, , .
’
ha ve Split the T other go vernor to chips and wedges without
my caring except that I might have come upon you for a
,
glass or so n o w an d then Else why have to do with you at .
all ? But when you O opied my clothes and when you copied ,
my n e c k h a n k e r c h e r and when you Shook blood upon me after

,
’
y o u h ad done the trick you d id wot I ll be paid for an d ,
paid heavy for If it come to be th r ow d upon you you

.
’
was to be ready to throw it upon me was you Where ,
else but in P l a s h wa te r Weir Mill L o ck was there a man

dressed according as described ? Where else but in Plash '
water Weir Mill Lock was there a man as had had words '
with him coming through in his boat Look a t the Lock '
keeper in P l a s h wa te r Weir Mill Lock , in them same answer

ing clothes and with that same answering red n e c kh a n k e r
,
cher and see whether his clothes happens to be bloody or not

, .
Yes they do happen to be bloo dy Ah you sly d evil

, .
,
B radley very white sat looking at him in silence

, ,
.
Bu t two could play at your game said Riderhood ”

,
“
snapping his fingers at him half a doze n times and I ,
played it long ago ; long afore you tried you r clumsy hand
at it in days when you hadn t begun croaking your l e c te r s ’
or what not in your school I know to a figure how you .
done it Where you stole away I coul d steal away arter

.
,
you and do it knowinger than you I kn ow how you come

, .
away from London in your own clothes a n d where you ,
changed your clothes and hid your clothes I see you with ,
.
my O W II eyes take your own clothes from their hiding place

among them felled trees and take a dip I n the river to a c c OiI n t ,
for your dressing yourself to any on e as might come by .
I see you rise up Bradley Headstone Master where you sat , ,

you and shoul dn t have found you if I hadn t seen you
,
’ ’
sl ipping along the street over night and watched you till -
,
’
you was safe housed I ll have one settlement with you for .
good and all .
“
Riderhood I a m a man who has lived a retired life I
, .
have no resources beyond myself I have absolutely no .

_
”
friends .
“ ’
That s a lie said Riderhood
’
You ve got one friend as
, .
I knows of one as is goo d for a Savings Bank book or I m -

,
’
”
a blue monkey !
Bradley s face darkened and his hand slowly closed on the
’
purse and drew it back as he sat listen i ng for what the ,
other should go on to say .
“
I went i nto the wrong shop fust last Thursday said , , ,
Riderhood F ound myself among the young ladies by

.
,
George Over the young ladies I see a Missis That , .
Missis is sweet enough upon you Maste r to sell h erself up , , ,
slap to get you out of trouble Make her do it then

,
. _
.
”
B radley stared at him so very suddenly that Riderhood not ,
quite knowing h ow to take it a fie c te d to be occupied with ,
the encircling smoke fro m his pipe fannin g it away with his
hand and blo wi ng it Off
,
.
You spoke to the m i stress did you i nqu i red B radley , ,
with that former composure of voice and feature that se eme d

inconsistent and with averted eyes ,
.
“
Poof Yes said Riderhood withdrawing hi s attention
,
”
,
“ ’
from the smoke I spoke to her I didn t say much to
. .
her She was put in a flu s te r b y my dropping in among the

.
young ladies (I never did set up for a lady s man) and she ’
took me into her parlour to hope as there were n o th i n k wrong

_
‘
I tells her Oh no n oth i n k wrong The master s my wery
, , .
’
good friend But I see how the land laid and that she was
.
’
,
”
comfortable off .
Bradley put the purse in his po cket grasped his left wrist ,
with his right hand and sat rigidly contempla tin g the fire ,
.
’
She couldn t live more handy to you than she does said ,
“
Ride rh ood and when I go e s home with you (as of cou r se I
,
am a going) I recommend you to clean her out without loss

-
,
of time You can marry her arter you and me have come
.
,
’
to a settlement She s nice looking and I know you can t be
.
’
-
,
keep i ng company with no one else having been so lately ,

”
d i s a p i n te d in another qu arter .
Not one other word did Bradley utter all that night Not .
RID ER H O O D NO T TO BE SH AK E N O FF 93 5
once did he change his attitude or loosen his hold upon his ,
wrist Rigid before the fire as if it were a charmed flame

.
,
that was turning h i m old he sat with the dark lines deepen , ,
ing in his face its stare becoming more an d more haggard its
, ,
surface turni ng white r and whiter as if it were being over

S pread with ashes and the very texture and colour of his ,
hair degenerating .
Not until the late daylight made the wi ndow transparent

‘
did this decaying statue move Then it slowly arose and .

,
sat in the win dow looking out .
Riderhood had kept his chair all night In the earlier .
part of the night he had muttered twice or thrice that it

was bitter cold or that the fire burnt fast when he got up
to mend it but as he could elicit fr om his companion neither
,
sound nor movement he had afterwards held his peace He ,

.
was making some disorderly preparations for co ffee when ,
Bradley came from the window and put on his outer coat
an d hat .
’ ’
Hadn t us better have a bit 0 breakfast afore we start ?
“ ’
said Riderhood I t ain t good to freeze a e mpty stomach
.
,
Master .
Without a sign to show that he heard Bra dley walked ,
out of the Lock house Catch ing u p from the table a piece -
.
of bread and ta k ing his Bargeman s bundle under his a r m

,
’
Riderhood immediately followed him Bradley turned to .
wards London Riderhood caught him up and walk ed at .

,
his side .
The two men trudged on side by side in silence full three , , ,
mil es ,Suddenly Bradley turned to retrace his cou rse ,

.
Instantly Riderhood turned likewise and they went back

, ,
Side by side .
Bradley r e entered the Lock house -

SO did Riderhood -
. .
Bradley sat down in the window Riderho od warm ed him .
self at the fire After an hour or more Bradley abruptly .

,
got up again and ag ain went out but this time turned the
, ,
other way Riderhood was close after him caught him up

.
,
in a few paces and walked at his side , .
This time as befo re when he found his attendant not to

, ,
be shaken o ff Bradley suddenly turned back This time as

, .
,
before Riderhood turned back along with him But not

, .
this time as before did they go into the Lock hou se for
, ,
-
,
Bradley came to a stand on the snow covered turf by the -
Lock looking up the ri v er and down the river Navigation

, .
93 6 O UR MUTUAL F RIEND
was impeded by the frost and the scene was a mere white ,
and yellow desert .
Come come Master ,

urged Riderhood at h i s side
, , , .
This is a dry game And where s the good of it ? You .

’
can t get rid of me except by comin g to a settlement I

’
, .
a m a going along with

y o u wherever you go
-
.
Without a word of reply Bradley passed quickly from h i m ,
over the wooden b ridge on the Lock gate s “

W h y there s .
,
’
even less sense in this move than t other said Riderhood ’
, ,
“
following The Weir s there and you ll have to come back
.
’
,
’
y ou k n ow .
Without taking the least notice B radley leaned his body ,

'
against a post in a r e s ti n g attitude and there rested with
, ,
“
his eyes cast down Being brought here said Riderhood , ,
“ ”
g r u ffly I ll turn it to some use by changi ng my gates
’
, .
With a rattle and a rush of water he then swung to the Lock ,

-
gates that were standing O pen before opening the others ,

.
SO both sets of gates were for the moment closed , ,

.
“
Yo u d bette r by far be reasonable Bradley Headstone
’
Master said Riderhood passing him

,
”
or I ll drain you all , ,
’
the drier for it when we do settle — Ah ,

Wou ld y o u .
Bradley had caught him round the body He seemed to .
be girdled with an iron ri ng They were on the brink O f the .
Lock about midway between the two sets O f gates

,
.
Let go said Riderhood or I ll get my k n ife out and ,

’
slash you wherever I can cut you Let go .
Bradley was drawing to the Lock edge Riderhood was .
drawing away from it It was a s trong grapple and a fierc e .

,
struggle arm and leg Bradley got him round wi th his

, .
,
back to the Lock and still worked him backward ,

.
“
Let go I said Riderhood ”
Stop ! What are you .
trying at ? You can t dro wn Me Ain t I told you that ’

.
’
the man as has come through drowning can never be

drowned I can t be drowned ’
.
“
I can be ! returned B radley in a desperate clenched
”
, ,
“ ’
voice . I am resolved to be I ll hold y ou li vi ng and I ll .
’
hold you dead Come down . .
Riderhood went over into the smooth pit b a c k wa I d and ,
Bradley Headstone upon him Wh en the two were found .

,
l ying under the ooze and scum beh i n d one of the rotting
g ates Riderhood s hold had relaxed probably in falling and
’
, , ,
h i s eyes were staring up ward But he was girdled still with .
’
B radley s iron ring and the rivets of the iron rin g held tight
,
.
C HAP T ER XVI
PER SON S AND THINGS I N G EN E RAL

’
M R and Mrs John Harmon s first delightful occupation was
. .
to set all matters right that had strayed in any way wrong ,
or that might could would or should have strayed in any

, , ,
way wrong while their name was in abeyance In traci n g

, .
’
out affairs for which John s fictitious death was to be con
s i d e r e d in any way responsible they u sed a very broad and ,
free construction ; regarding for instance the dolls dress , ,

’
maker as h aving a claim on their protection becau se of her ,
associatio n with Mrs Eugene W r a y b u r n and becau se of

.
,
’
M rs Eugene s old association in her turn with the dark
.
, ,
side of the story It followed that the Ol d m a n Riah as

.
, ,
a good an d serviceab l e friend to both was not to be dis ,
claim ed Nor even Mr Inspector as having been trepan n ed

. .
,
into an industrious hunt on a false scent It may be r e .
marked in connexion with that worthy O fficer that a rumou r

, ,
shortly afterwards pervaded the F orce to the e ffect that h e ,
h a d confided to Miss Abbey Potterson over a j ug of mellow ,
flip in the bar of the Six Joll y F ellowship Porters that he -

,
didn t stand to lose a farthing through Mr Harmon s

’ ”
.
’
coming to life but was quite as well satisfied as if that

,
gentleman had been barbarously murd e red and he (M r , .
Inspector) had pocketed the government reward .
In all their arrangements of such n ature Mr and Mrs ,

. .
John Harmon derived much assistance from their eminent

solicitor Mr Mortimer Lightwo od ; who laid about him
, .
professionally with such u nwonted dispatch and intention ,
that a piece of work was vigorously pursued as soon as o u t

out whereby Young Blight was acted on as by that trans
atlantic dram which is poetically named An Eye Opener -
,
and found h imself staring at real clients instead of out of

wind ow The accessibility of Riah proving very useful as
.
to a few hints towards the d isentanglement of Eugene s ’
a ffairs Lightwood applied himself with infinite zest to

,
940 OU R MUTU AL F RI END
attacking and harass i ng Mr Fl e d g e b y ; who discovering .
,
himself in danger of being blown into the air by certain

explosive transactions in which he had been engaged and ,
having bee n su ffi ciently flayed under his beating came to ,
a parley and asked for quarter The harmless Twemlow .
profited by the con ditions entered into though he little ,
thought it Mr Riah u naccountably melted ; waited in

. .
person on h i m over the stable yard in Duke Street Saint -
,
’
James s no longer ravening but mild to inform him that
, ,
payment of interest as heretofo re but henceforth at M r , .
Lightwoo d s offices woul d appease his Jew ish rancour ; and

’
depa rted with the secret that Mr John Harmon had a d .
v a n c e d the money a n d become the creditor Thus was the .
sublime Sn i gs wor th s wrath averted and thus did he snort no

’
larger an amount O f moral grandeur at the Corinthian column

in the print over the fireplace than was normally in his (and
the British ) constitution .
Mrs W i l fe r s first visit to th e Mendicant s bride at the new

.
’ ’
abode of Mendicancy was a grand event Pa had been sent , .
for into the City on the very day of taki ng possession an d

, ,
had been stunned with astonishment and brought to and led ,

-
,
about the house by one ear to behold its variou s treasures , ,
and had been enraptu red and enchanted Pa had als o been .
appointed Secretary and had been enj oin ed to give i nstant

,
notice of resignation to C h i c k s e y Veneeri ng an d Stob b l e s , , ,
for ever and ever But Ma came later and came as was
.
, ,
h er due in state
,
.
The carriage was sent for Ma who entered it with a ,
bearing worthy Of the occasion accompanied rather than , ,
supported by Miss Lavin ia wh o altogether declined to

, ,
recognise the maternal maj esty Mr George Sampson meekly . .
followed He was received in the vehicle by Mrs Wilfer

. .
,
as if admitted to the honour of assisting at a funeral in the

“ ”
family and she then issued the order Onward ! to the
, ,
Mendicant s men ial ’

.
“
I wish to goodness Ma s ai d La vvy throwing herself , , ,
“ ’
back a m ong the cushions with her arms crossed that you d , ,
loll a little .
How repeate d Mrs Wilfer Loll . .
Yes Ma, .
”
“
I hope said the impressive lady I am incapable of it
,
”
,
.
I am su re you look so Ma But why one should go out , .

The stately lady Mrs Wilfer perceiving her opportunity ,
.
,
of delivering a few remarks from the throne, here took u p

the altercation .
“ “
Mr Sampson she began
. I cannot permit you to mis , ,
represent th e intentions o f a child of mine .

”
“
Let him alone Ma Miss La v v y i n te r p os e d with h a u gh ti
, ,
”
“
It is indifferent to me what he says or does .
”
“
Nay Lavinia quoth Mrs Wilfer
,
this tou ches the
,
.
,
blood of the family If Mr George Sampson attributes . .

,
even to my youngest daughte r

“ ‘
( I don t see why you should use the word even Ma
’ ’
, ,
“
Miss La vv y interposed beca u se I am quite as important as ,
any of the others .
Peace ! said Mrs Wilfer solemnly

”
I repeat if Mr .
,
.
,
.
George Sampson attributes to my youngest daughter grovel , ,
ling motives he attributes them equally to the mother of

,
my youngest daughter That mother repudiates them and .

,
demands of Mr George Sampson as a youth of honour what

.
, ,
he wou l d have I may be mistaken — nothing is more likely

—but Mr George Sampson proceeded Mrs Wilfer maj es
.
,
”
.
,
“
tically waving her gloves appears to me to be seated in a ,
fir s t class equ ipage

-
Mr George Sampson appears to me to . .
be on his way by his own admission to a residence that , ,
may be termed Palatial Mr George Sampson appears to . .
me to be invited to participate in the — shall I say the

Elevation which has desce n ded on the family with which he
is ambitious shall I say to Mingle Whence then this tone
, , , ,
o n Mr Sampson s part ?
.
’
“ ’
It is only ma am Mr Sampson explained in exceed
, ,
.
,
“
i n g ly low Spirits because in a pecuniary sense I am , , ,
painfully conscious of my unworthiness Lavinia is n ow .
highly connected Can I hope that she will still remain the .
same Lavinia as of old And is it not pardonable if I fee l

sensitive when I see a disposition on her part to take me u p
,
Short ?
”
“
If you a r e not satisfied with your position sir observed , ,
“
Miss Lavinia with much politeness we can set you down
, ,
at any turning you may please to indicate to my sister s ’
”
coachman .
“ “
Dearest Lavinia urged Mr Sampson pathetically I ,
.
, ,
adore you .
“
Then if you can t do it in a more agreeable manner ’
,
“ ’ ”
returned the young lady I wish you woul d n t ,
.
MR » SAM P SO N IS LE D C AP TI V E C
43
’
I also pursued Mr Sampson
,
respect you ma am to .
, , ,
an extent which must ever be below you i merits I am well ,
aware but still up to an uncommon mark Bear with a

,
.
Wretch Lavinia bear with a wretch ma a m who feels th e

’
, , , ,
noble sa cri fices you ma k e for him but is goaded almost to

— Mr Sampson slapped his forehead when he
,
madness .
— “
thinks of competing with the rich and influential .
“
When you have to compete with the rich and influential ,
it will probably be mentioned to y ou said Miss La v v y I n , ,

”
good time At l east it will if the case is my case
.
,
.
Mr Sampson immediately expressed his fervent opinion

.
“
that this was more than human and was brou ght upon
'
,
”
h i s k n e e s at Miss Lavinia s feet

’
.
It was the crowning addition indispensable to the full e n ,
j oy m e n t of both mother and daughter to bear Mr Sampson ,

.
,
a grateful captive into the glittering halls he had mentioned

, ,
and to parade him through the same at once a living witness ,
of their glory and a bright instance of their condescension

,
.
Ascending the staircase Miss Lavinia permitted him to ,

“
walk at her side with the air of saying : Notwithstanding
,
all these surroundings I am yours as yet George Ho w , ,

.
long it may last i s another question but I am you rs as yet ,

.
’
She also benignantly intimated to him aloud the nature of , ,
the obj ects upon which he looked and to which he was ,

“ “ ”
unaccustomed : as Exotics George An aviar y G eorge
, , ,
”
, ,
“
An ormolu clock George and the like While through , ,
”
.
the whole of the decorations Mrs Wilfer led the way with ,
.
the bearing of a Savage Chief who would feel himself com ,
promised by manifesting the slightest token of surprise or

admiration .
Indeed the bearing of this impressive woman throughout

, ,
the day was a pattern to all impres siv e women under similar
,
c ircumstan ces She renewed the acquaintance of Mr and

. .
Mrs Bo ffin as if Mr and Mrs Boffin had said of her what

.
, . .
she had said of them and as if Time alone could quite ,
wear her injury out She regarded every servant who .
approached her as her sworn enemy expressly inte n ding ,
t o offer her affronts with the dishes and to pour forth out ,
rages On her moral feelings from the decanters She sat .
erect at table on the right hand of her son i n law as half

,
- -
,
suspecting poison in the viands and as bearing up with ,
native force of character against other deadly ambushes .
Her carriage towards Bella was as a carriage towards a young

944 O UR MUTUAL F R I E ND
lady of good position whom she had met in society a few
years ago Even when slightly thawing u nder the influence
.
,
of Sparkling champagne she related to her s o n i n law some ,

- -
passages of domestic interest concerning her papa she in fused ,
into the narrative su ch Arctic suggestions of her having

been an unappreciated blessing to mankin d since her papa s ,
’
days and also of that gentleman s having been a frosty

,
’
impersonation of a frosty race as struck cold to the very ,
soles of th e feet of the hearers The Inexhaustible being

'
.
p r o d u c e d s ta r in g and evidently intending a weak and washy

, ,
smile shortly no sooner beheld her than it was stricken

, ,
spasmo d ic and inconsolable When she took her leave at .
last it would have been hard to say whether it was with the
,
air of going to the scaffold herself or of leaving the inmates ,
of the house for immediate execution Yet John Harmon .
enj oyed it all merril y and told his wife when he and she , ,
were alone that her natural ways had never seemed So dear ly
,
natural as beside this foil and that alth ough he did not ,
dispute her bein g her father s d aughter he shoul d ever ’
remain steadfast in the faith that she could not be her

’
mother s .
This visit was as has been said a great event An other , , .
event not grand , but deemed in the house a Special one

, ,
occurred at about the same period ; and this was the first
interview between Mr Sloppy and Miss Wren . .
The dolls dressmaker being at work for the Inexhaustible

’
upon a full d ressed doll some two Sizes larger than that
-
young person Mr Sloppy undertook to call for it and did so

,
.
,
.
“ ”
Come i n sir said Miss Wren wh o was working at her
, ,
bench And who may you be

.
M r Sloppy introduced himself by name and buttons

. .
“ ”
Oh indeed ! cried Jenny Ah ! I have been looking .
forward to knowing you I heard of your distinguishing .
yourself .
“ “
Did you Miss ? grinned Sloppy I am sure I am
,
”
.
glad to hear it but I don t know how ,

’
.
“
Pitching somebody into a mud cart said Miss Wren -
.
Oh ! That way ! cried Sloppy Yes Mi ss And ”

.
,
.
threw back his head and laughed .
’
Bless us exclaimed Miss Wren with a start Don t ,
.
’
open your mouth as wide as that young man or it ll catch , ,
so and n ot shut again some day

, .
”
I have heard what y ou r trade is observed Miss Wren ,
“
it s cabinet making
’
-
”
Mr Sloppy nod ded

.
.
.
Now that the Mounds is don e .
’
with it is I ll tell you what Miss I Should like to make
, .
, .
you something .
“
Much O bliged But what ? .
“ ”
I coul d make you said Sloppy surveying the room I , , ,
could make you a handy set of nests to lay the dolls in O r .
I could make you a handy little set of drawers to keep ,
you r Silks and threads and scraps in Or I co u1d turn you .
a rare handle for that crutch stick if it belongs to him you -

,
'
call your father .

”
It belongs to me returned the lit tle creature with a , ,
quick flush of h e r face and neck I am lame . .

”
Poor Sloppy flushed too for there was an instinctive ,
delicacy behind his buttons and his O wn hand had Stru ck it , .
He said perhaps the best thing in the way of amends that

, ,
“
could be said I am very glad it s yours because I d rather
.
’
,
’
ornament it for you than for any one else Please may I .
l ook at it ?
Miss Wren was in the act of handing it to h i m over
“
her bench when Sh e paused , But y o u had better see me
use it Sh e said sharply
,
”
This is the way I I opp e tty , . .
-
Ki c k e tty Peg peg peg Not pretty ; is it ?

,
- -
.
“
It seems to me that you hardly want it at all said ,
Sloppy .
The little dressmaker Sa t down again and gave it into ,
his hand saying with that better look upon her and with
, , ,
“
a smile Thank you
“
And as concerning the n ests and drawe rs said Sloppy , ,
af ter measuring the handle on his Sleeve and softly standing ,
the stick aside against the wall “

why it would be a real , ,
’
pleasure to me I ve h e e r d tell that you can sing most .
be a utiful ; and I should be better paid with a song than

with any money for I always loved the l i kes of that and , ,
often gi v Mrs Higden and Johnny a comic song myself with

’
.
,
’ ’
Spoken in it Though that s not your sort I ll wager
.
, .
”
You are a very kind young man returned the dress ,

”
maker a really kind young man I accept your o ffe r — I

“
,
.
supp os e He won t min d Sh e ad ded as an afterthought ’
,
”
shrugging her Shoulders and if he does he may ,

“ ”
Meaning h i m that you call your father Miss ? asked ,
Sloppy .
A V I SIT . F R O M MR . AND MRS
. W RAY BU RN 947
NO no replied Miss Wren

, ,
Him Him Him ! .
, ,
”
Him him him ? , ,

repeated Sloppy ; staring about as if ,
for Him .
“
Him who is coming to cou rt and marry me returned ,
“
Miss Wren Dear me how Slow you are
.
,
“
O h Hi m said Sloppy And seemed to turn thoughtful
-
.
“
and a little troubled I never thought of him When is . .
he coming Miss ? ,
“
What a question ! cried Miss Wren How should I .
know
Where is he coming from Miss ,
Why good gracious how can I tell ! He is coming

, ,
from somewhere or other I suppose and he is coming some ,
day or other I suppose I don t know any more about him

,
.
’
,
”
at present .
This tickled Mr Sloppy as an extraordinarily good j oke .

,
and he threw back his head and laughed with measureless

enj oyment At the Sight of him laughing in that absurd
.
’
way the dolls dressmaker laughed very heartily indeed SO
,
.
they both laughed till they were tired , .
“
There there there ,
said Miss Wren F or goodness
,
.
’
sake stop Giant o r I shall be swallowe d up alive before I

, , ,
know it And to this minute you haven t said w h at you ve

.
’ ’
come for .
“
I have come for little Miss Ha r m o n s e s doll said Sloppy ,
.
“
I thought as much remarked Miss Wren and here is ,
”
,
little Miss Ha r m o n s e s doll waiting for you She s folded u p .

’
in Silver paper you see as if Sh e was wrapped from head to

, ,
’
foot in new bank notes Take care of her and there s my .
,
hand and thank you again

,
.
“
I ll take more care O f her than if Sh e was a gold i m age
’
,
’
“ ’
said Sloppy and there s both my hands Miss and I ll soon
, , ,
come back again .
But the greatest event of all in the new life of Mr and ,

.
Mrs John Harmon was a V isit from Mr and Mrs E ugene

.
,
. .
W r a yb u r n Sadly wan and worn was the once gallant

.
Eugene and walk ed resting on his wife s arm and leaning

,
’
heavily upon a stick But he was daily growing s tronger .
and better and it was declared by the medical attendants

,
that he might not be much disfigured b y and bye It was a - -

.
grand event indeed when Mr and Mrs Eugene W r a y b u r n

, ,
. .
came to stay at Mr and Mrs John Harmon s house : where . .

’
,
by the way Mr and Mrs Boffin (exquisitely happy and
,
. .
,
dail y cruising about to look at shops) were likewise staying ,

'
indefinitely .
To Mr Eugene W r a y b ur n in confidence did Mrs John

.
, , .
Harmon i mpart what she had known of the state of his wife s ’
affections in his reckl ess time And to Mrs John Harmon

, . .
,
in confidence did Mr Eugene W r a y b u r n impart that plea s e

,
.
,
God she should see how his wife had changed him
,
“
I make n o protestations said Eugene who does ,
”
, ,
wh o means them — I have made a resolution .
But would you believe Bella interposed his wi fe coming ,

”
,
’
to resum e her nurse s place at hi s side for he never got on ,
“
well without her : that on our wedding day he told me he
almost thought the best thing he could do was to die
“
AS I didn t d o it Lizzie said Eugene “
’
I ll do that , , ,
’
better thing you suggested — for your sake .

”
That same afternoon Eugene lying on hi s cou ch i n his ,
own room u p sta i rs Lightwoo d came to chat with h i m while

-
, ,
“
Bell a took hi s wife out for a ride Nothing short of force .
”
wi ll make her go Eugene had said so Bella had playfully ,
forced her .
Dear old fellow Eugene began with Lightwood reaching , ,

“
up his hand you couldn t have come at a better tim e fo r
,
’
,
my mind is fu l l and I want to empty it F irst of my ,

.
present before I touch upon my future M R F who is a

,
. . . .
much younger cavalier than I and a professed admirer of ,
bea u ty was SO a ffable as to remark the other day (he paid

,
us a V isit of two days up th e river there and much obj ecte d ,
to the accommodation of the hotel) that Lizzie ought to ,
have her portrait painted Which coming from M R F .

,
. .
may be considered equivalent to a melodramatic blessin g .

‘
“
You are getting we l l said Mortimer with a smile ,
”
,
.
“
Really said Eugene I mean it When M R F said
,
”
,
. . . .
that and followed it up by rolling the claret (for which he

,
‘
called and I paid) in his mouth and saying My dear son
, , ,
it was tantamo u nt — i n hi m
,
why do you drink this trash

to a paternal benediction on our union accompanied with a ,
gush of tears The coolness of M R F is not to b e m e as ri r e d

. . . .
”
by ordinary standards .
'
True enough said Lightwood ,
”
.
“
That s all pursued Eugene that I shal l ever hear fro m
’
, ,
M R F on the subj ect and he will continue to sa unter

. . .
,
through the world with h i s hat on one side My m arriage .

Perhaps we do said Mortimer laughing also , , .
Faith we Do ! returned Eugene with great animation

, , .
We may hide behind the bush and beat about it but we ,
no. Now my wife is something nearer to m y heart Mortimer _

, ,
than Tippins is and I owe her a little more than I owe to

,
Tippins and I am rather prouder of her than I e Ve r was

,
of Tippins Therefore I will fight it out to the last gasp

.
, ,
with her and for her here in the open field When I hide ,
.
her or strike for her faint heartedly in a hole or a corner

, ,
-
, ,
do you whom I love next best upon earth tell me what I

, ,
shall most righteously deserve to be told that she would -
have done well to have turned me over with her foot that
night when I lay bleeding to death and to have spat in my ,
dastard face .
The glow that shone upon him as he spoke the words SO

irradiated his features that he looked for the time , as though , ,
.
he had never been mutilated His friend responded as .
Eugene would have h a d him respond and they discou rsed of ,
the future until Lizzie came back After resuming her place
,
.
at his side and tenderly touching his han ds and his head
, ,
Sh e said
“
Eugene dear you made me go out but I ought to have
, , ,
stayed with you Y o u are more flushed than you have been
.
for many days What have you been doing ? .
“
Nothing replied Eugene but looki n g forward to your
,
”
c oming back .
“
And talking to Mr Lightwood said Lizzie turning to .
, ,
him with a smile But it cannot have been Society that

.
”
disturbed you .
“
F aith my dear love ! retorted Eugene in his O l d airy
,
”
,
“
manner as he laughed and kissed her
,
I rather think it ,
was Society though

The word ran so much in Mortimer Light woo d s thoughts ’
as he went home to the Temple that night that he resolved ,
to take a look at Society which he had not seen for a con ,
s i d e r a b l e period .
C HA P T ER THE LA ST
THE VO I C E O F SO C I ET Y
BE HO V E sMortimer Lightwood therefore to answer a dinner , ,
card from Mr and Mrs Veneering requesting the honou r

. .
, ,
and to signify that Mr Mortimer Lightwood will be happy

.
to have the other honour The Veneerings have bee n as .

,
usual indefatigably dealing dinner car d s to Society and wh o

, ,
ever desires to t ake a hand had best be quick about it for it ,
is written in the Books of the Insolvent F ates that Veneeri n g

Shall make a resou ndi n g smash next week Yes Havi n g . .
found out the clue to that great m y s te r y h ow p eople can

contrive to live beyond their mean s and having over j obbed ,
-
his j obberies as legislator deputed to the Universe by the pu re

electors of Pocket Breaches it shall come to p a ss next week
-
,
that Veneering will accept the Chiltern Hundreds that the ,
legal gentleman in Britannia s confidence will again accept ’
the Pocket Breaches Thou sands and that the Veneeri n gs will
-
,
’
retire to Calais there to live on Mrs Veneeri n g s diamonds
, .
(in which Mr Veneering as a good husband h a s from tim e

.
, ,
to time invested considerable sums) and to relate to Neptune ,
and others how that before Veneeri n g retired from Parlia

,
ment the House of Comm o ns was co m posed of hi m self and

,
the six hundred and fifty seven dearest and oldest friends he
-
had in the worl d It shall likewise come to pass at as nearly

.
,
as possible the same period that Society will disco v er that ,
it always did despise Veneering and distrust V e n e e r i n g and , ,
that when it went to Veneering s to dinner it alway s h a d ’
misgivings— though very secretly at t he time it would seem , ,
and in a perfectly private and co n fidential m anner .
The next week s books of the Insolvent Fates ho wever

’
, ,
being not yet opened there is the u su al rush to the Veneer

,
ings of the people who go to their house to dine with on e

,
another and not with them There is Lady Tippins There . .
are Podsnap the Great and Mrs Podsnap There is Twe m

,
. .
low . There are Bu ffer Boots and B re wer There is the

, ,
.
Contractor who is Providence to five hundred thousand
,
men . There is the Chairm a n travel lin g three thousan d ,
miles per week There is the brill ian t geniu s who turned
.
the shares into that remarkably exact sum of three hundred

and seventy fiv e thousand pounds no shillings an d n ope n c e
-
, , .
To whom add Mortimer Lightwood coming in among ,
them with a resumption of h i s old languid air founded on ,
E u gene and belonging to the days when he told the story

,
of the man from Somewhere .
That fresh fairy Tippins all but screams at sight of her

, ,
false swain She summons the deserter to her with her fan
.
but the deserter predetermined not to come talks Britain

, ,
with Po dsnap Podsnap always talks Britain and talks as

.
,
if he were a sort of Private Watchman employed i n the ,
British interests against the rest of the world

,
We know .
“
what Russia means s ir says Podsnap ; we know what , ,
F rance wants we see what America is up to but we kno w

’
what England is That s enough for us . .
H owever when dinner is served and L ightwood drops

, ,
into his O l d place over against Lady Tippins she can be ,

“ ”
fended o ff no longer Long banished Robinson Crusoe .
-
,
“
says the charmer exchanging salutations ,
how did you ,
leave the Island

“ ”
Thank you says Lightwood ,
It made no complaint .
of being in pain anywhere .

”
Say h o w did you leave the savages

,
asks L ady Tippins .
They were becoming civiliz ed when I left Juan F er

“
nandez says Lightwood
,
”
At least they were eati ng o n e .
another which l ooked like it

,
.
“
Tormentor ! returns the dear young creature You .
k now what I mean and you t rifle with my impatience Tell

,
.
me somethin g immediately about the married pair You

, ,
.
were at the wedding .

”
Was I b y the bye

,
-
Mortimer pretends at great leisure
-
, ,
to consider . So I was
How was the bride dressed In rowing costume
Mortimer l ooks gloomy and declines to answer ,
.
“
I hope she steered herself s k iffed herself paddled her , ,
self l a r b oa r d e d and starboarded herself or whatever the

, ,
”
tech ni cal term may be to the ceremony ? proceeds the ,
playful Tippins .
However she got to it she graced it says Mortimer , ,

.
Lady Tippins with a skittish li ttle scream attracts the ,

General sensatio n agai nst the young woman Brewer .
shakes his head Boots shakes his head Bu ffer shakes his
. .
head .
“
And now Mr Lightwood was Sh e ever pursues Pod
,
.
, ,
snap with h is indignation rising high into those hair brushes

,
-
of his ,
a factory girl ?
Never But Sh e h ad some employment in a paper m i ll
.
,
” “
I believe .General sensation repeated Brewer says Oh .
,
“ “
dear ! ”
Boots says Oh dear ! Bu ffer says Oh dear !
,
”
All in a rumbling tone of protest .
”
Then all I have to say is returns Podsnap putting the , ,
“
thing away with his right arm that my gorge rises against
such a marriage —that it o ffen ds and disgusts me — that it
,
makes me sick — and that I desire to know no more about it .

”
“
Now I wo n der thinks Mortimer amused ,
whether , ,
y ou are the Voice of Society

Hear hear hear ! cries Lady Tippins
, ,
Your opinion
”
.
'
of this mc s a llia u ce honourable colleague of the honourable
,
member who has j ust sat down

Mrs Podsnap is of O pinion that in these matters there
.
should be an equality of station and fortune and that a man ,
accustomed to Society should lo ok out for a woman accus

to m e d to Soci e ty and capable of bearing her part in it with
— a n ease and el e gance of carriage — that Mrs Podsnap .
”
.
stops there delicately intimating that every such man should

,
look out for a fine woman as nearly resembling herself as he

may h Op e to discover .
Now I wonder thinks Mortimer, whether you are

,
”
the Voice
Lady Tippins next canvas ses the Contractor of five hun ,
dred thousand power It appears to this potentate that

.
what the man in question should have done woul d have ,
been to buy the young woman a boat and a small annuity ,
an d S e t her up for herself These things are a question of .
b e efsteaks and porter You buy the young woman a boat

. .
Very good You buy her at the same time a small annuity
.
, ,
.
Y ou speak of that annuity in pounds sterling but it is in ,
re ality so many pounds O f beefsteaks and so many pints of

p orter On the one hand the young woman has the boat
.
,
.
On the other hand she consumes so many pounds of beef

,
steaks and so many pints of porter Those beefsteaks and .
’
that porter are the fuel to that young woman s engine She .
derives therefrom a certain amount Of power to row the

W H AT D O ES MR . TW E ML OW SAY ? 955
boat ; that power wi ll produce so much money ; you add
that to the small annuity ; and thus you get at the young .
woman s income That (it seem s to the Co ntractor) is the

’
.
way of looking at it .
The fair enslaver having fallen into one O f her gentle

sleeps during this last exposition nobody l i kes to wake her , .
F ort u nately she comes awake of herself and puts the ques
, ,
tion to the Wandering Chairman The Wanderer can only .
Spe ak of the case as if it were his own If such a you ng .
woman as the young woman described had saved his own li fe ,
he would have been very much obliged to her wouldn t have ,

’
married her and would have got her a berth in an Electric

,
Telegraph O ffice where young women answer very well

,
.
What does the Genius of the three hundred and seventy

five thousand pounds no shillings an d n Op e n c e think ? He
, , ,
can t say what he thinks without asking : Had the young

’
woman any money

N says Lightwood in an uncompromising voice ,
money .
Madness and moonshine is then the compressed ver d ict ,

“
of the Genius A man may do anything lawful for money
. .
But for n o money — Bosh

What does Boots say
B oots says he wouldn t have d one it under twenty thousand ’
pound s
What does Brewer say
Brewer says what Boots says .
W hat does Bu fi e r say

Bu ffer says he kn ows a man who married a bathing woman -
,
and bolte d .
Lady Tippins fancies she has collected the su ffrages of the

whole Committee (nobody dreaming of asking the Veneerings
for their O pinion ) when looking round the table through her
, ,
eye glass she perceives Mr Twemlow with his hand to his

-
, .
forehead .
Good gracious My Twemlow forgotten My dearest

My own What is his vote
Twemlow has the air of being ill at ease as he takes his ,
hand from his forehead an d replies I am disposed to .
” “
think says he that this is a qu estion of the feelings of a
, ,
gentleman .
”
“
A gentleman can have no feelings who contracts such a
”
marriage flushes Podsnap
, .
Pardon me sir says Twemlow rather less mildly than
, , ,
“
usual I don t agree with you If this gentleman s feelin gs
’ ’
.
,
of gra titude of respect O f admiration and a ffection induced

, , , ,
him (as I presume they did) to marry this lady

“
This l ady ! echoes Podsnap ”
.
”
Sir returns Twemlow with his wristbands bristling a
, ,
“
little y ou repeat the word I repeat the word This lady
, .
.
.
W h at else woul d you call her if the gentleman were ,
present
This being something in the nature of a po s er for Podsnap ,
he merel y waves it away with a speechless wave .
“ ” “
I say resumes Twemlow if s u ch feelings on the part
, ,
O f this gentleman induced this gentleman to marry this lady ,
I think he is the greater gentleman for the action and makes ,
her the greater lady I beg to say that when I use the word .
gentleman I use it in the sense in which the degree may be

,
attained by any man The feelings of a gentleman I hold .
sacred and I confess I am n ot comfortable when they are

,
made the subj ect of sport or general discussion .
”
I Should like t o know sneers Podsnap whether your , ,
”
noble relation would be of your opinion .
Mr Podsnap retorts T wemlow permit me He might

.
“
,
”
,
.
be or he might not be I cannot s ay But I could not

,
. .
allow even him to dictate to me on a point of great delicacy ,
on which I feel very strongly .

”
Somehow a canopy of wet blanket seems to descen d upon

,
the company and Lady Tippins was never known to turn so

,
very greedy or so very cross Mortimer Lightwood alone

,
.
brightens He has been asking himself as to every other

.
,
member of the Committee in turn I wonder whether you ,
are the Voice ! But he does not ask himself the question
”
after Twemlow has spoken an d he glances in Twe m l ow s ,

’
direction as if he were grateful When the company disperse .
— b y which time Mr and Mrs Veneering have h ad quite as . .
mu ch as they want O f the honour and the guests have had

quite as much as they want of the other honour—Mortimer
,
sees Twemlow h ome shakes hands with him c ordially at ,
parting and fares to the Temple gaily

, ,
.
95 8 P O ST SCRI PT
Offi ce teem with insta nces of te stators who have made ,
changed contradicted hidden forgotten left cancelled a nd

, , , , ,
left uncancelled each many more wil ls than were ever made
,
by the elder Mr Harmon of Ha rmony Jail

. .
In my social experiences since Mrs Betty Higden ca me .
upon the sce ne and left it I have fou nd Circumlocutional ,
champions disposed to be warm wi th me on the subj ect of

my V iew of the Poor Law My friend Mr Bo u n d e r b y could . .
never see any difference between leavi n g the Coketown

“
hands exactly as they were and requiring them to be fed ,
with turtle soup and venison out of gol d spoons I diotic .
propositions of a parallel nature have been freely o ffered for

my acceptance and I have been call ed upon to admit that I
,
would give Poor Law relief to anybo dy anywhere anyhow , , .
Putting this n ons ense aside I have observed a suspicious ,
tendency in the champions to di vide into two par ties ; the

one contending that there are no deservi ng Poor who prefer
death by slow starvation and bitter weather to the mercies of ,
some Relieving O fficers and some Union House s the other

admitting that there are such Poor but denyin g that they ,
have any cause or reaso n for what they do The records .
i n our newspapers the late exposure by THE L ANC E T and

, ,
the common sense and senses of common people fu rnish too ,
abundant evidence against both defences B ut that my V ie w .

,
of the Poor Law may not be mistaken or mi srepresented I ,
wil l state it I believe there has been in England since the

.
,
days of the S T U AR T S no law so often i nfamously admin i stered

, ,
n o law so often openl y violated no law habitually so ill ,
supervised In th e maj ority of the shamefu l cases of disease

.
and death from destitution that s h o ok the Public and

di sgrace the country the ill egality is quite equal to the
,
inhumanity— a n d known language co ul d say no more of their

lawlessness .
On F riday the Ninth of Jun e in the present year Mr and , .
Mrs Bo ffi n (in their manuscript dress of receiv i ng M r and

. .
Mrs La m m l e at breakfast ) were on the Sou th Ea s te r n

.
.
Railway with me in a terribly destructive accident When

,
.
I had done what I could to help others I climbed back ,
into my carriage — nearly turned over a viadu ct and caught ,
aslant upon the turn — to extricate the worthy couple They .
were mu ch soiled but otherwise unhurt The sam e happy

, .
result attended Miss Bella Wilfer on her wedding day a n d ,

’
Mr Riderhood inspecting Bradley Headstone s red neckerchief
.
for ever than I was then until there Shall be writte n again st
my l ife the two words with which I have this day closed
,
thi s book : THE END .
Sep tem ber 2 ,

1 86 5 .

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Pr i n ted b y H ORAC E H AR T,

BOOK TH E F IRST . TH E C UP AND T H E LI P

M R AND MRS BO FFIN IN C O N S U L T ATI O N

IV. CUPID PR O MPT E D

X I V STR O N G O F P URP OSE

A R ES P E CTE D FRI END IN A N EW ASPE C T

MB W EG G PR E PA R ES A GRIND STO N E F O R M R B O FFIN S N OSE

NI C O D E MU S B O FFIN ( a lled “ N o ddy a ls o “ Th e G o ld en D u s tm a n

BO B G LIDD E RY p o tb o y a t Th e Si x J o lly F e ll o ws h i p Por te rs

C HAR L E Y HEKAM h i s s o n a s e l ﬁ s h a n d h a rd h e a rte d y o u th

J O H NNY a n orp h a n g ra n ds on o f B e tty H i gd e n

M O RTIM E R L I GHTWOO D a y ou n g s o l i c i tor a n d a ttor n e y

M R M E L VIN TwE MLo w o n e o f th e p o ore r m e m b e r s o f s oc i e ty a n d

M R S H E NRI ETTA B O FFIN t h e c h e e rfu l wi fe o f Mr N i c o d e m u s Boﬂi n

MRS BETTY HI G D E N th e k e e p e r o f a m a n gl e a n d a m i n d i n g s c h ool

M RS MA R GAR ETTA MILV EY a p re tty b r i gh t l i ttl e Wo m a n ; wi fe o f th e

M I SS ABB E Y POTTE RSO N l a n dl a dy o f Th e Si x J o lly Fe ll ows hi p Po rte rs

LADY T IPPIN S a m e m b er o f “ s oc i e ty a n d a fri e n d o f th e V e n ee ri n gs

MRS ANASTATIA VE N EERING wi fe o f Mr H a m i l to n V e n e eri n g

M RS WIL F E R th e ta ll a n gu l a r s tate ly wi fe o f R e g i n a ld W i lfe r

M I SS B ELL A W I L F E R h e r d a u gh te r a p r teg ee o f th e Boﬂi n s

M I SS L AVINI A WI L F E R y ou n g e s t dau gh ter of Mr s Wi lfe r a s harp

BOO K THE FI RST

THE C UP AND THE LIP

I N these times of ours though c oncerning the exact year

there is no need to be precise a bo at of dirty and d is r e ,

p u ta b l e appearance with two ﬁgu res in it ﬂoated On the

Thames between Southwark Bridge which is of iron and

London Bridge which is of stone as an autumn evening was ,

The ﬁgures in this boat were those of a strong man with

of n i nete en or twenty sufﬁciently l ike him to be recognisable

as his daughter The girl rowed pulli ng a pair of sculls

and his hands loose in h i s waistband kept an eager look out ,

He had no net hook or line and he could not be a ﬁs h e r

man ; his boat had no cu shion for a Sitter n o paint no i n , ,

scription n o appliance beyond a r u sty boat hook an d a coil

of rope and h e could not b e a waterman ; his boat was too

crazy and too small to take in a cargo for delivery and he ,

could not be a lighterman or river carrier there was no clue -

to what he looked for but he looked for something with a

an hour before was running down and his eyes watched

made slight headway against it or drove stern foremost ,

before it accord i ng as he directed his daughter by a move

ment of his head She watched his face as earnestly as Sh e

watched the river But in the intensity of her look there

was a touch of dread or horror .

Allied to the bottom of the river rather than the surface ,

by reason of the slime and ooze with wh ich it was covered

v i o u s l y were doing something that they often did and were ,

seeking what they often sough t Half savage as the man . ,

Showed with no covering on his matted head with his brown

loose knot of a looser kerchief lying low on his bare breast

wore seeming to be made out of the mu d that begrimed his

wrist perhaps most of all with her look of dread or horror

they were things of usage .

well afore the sweep of i t .

Tr u s ting to the girl s skill and making n o use of the

rudder he eyed the coming tide with an absorbe d atte ntion

So the girl eye d h im But it happened now that a slant of

semblance to the outline of a mu ffled human form coloured ,

it as though with diluted blood This caught the girl s eye .

and she shivered .

What ails y o u said the man immediately aware of it , ,