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Accepting Fate 1St Edition J Laine Online Ebook Texxtbook Full Chapter PDF
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Accepting Fate
ASIN: B0CBCY3GHX
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No
identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is
intended or should be inferred.
Playlist:
Note to Reader
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Epilogue
Stay Tuned
Acknowledgements
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0VlcYYF5X1CcZshMYjj8Ex?
si=fb66fda20daf429f
This book contains sensitive topics. Some of the events that occur
are not for everyone and may be hard for some to read.
Some of the major warnings include suicide, sexual assault, loss of
a parent, alcoholism, death, kidnapping of child and adult, parental
abuse, domestic violence (in a past form to the FMC, the MMC is not
involved), necrophilia (mentioned— not to any MCs) and heavy
mention of mental health disorders.
For a full list of trigger warnings and content warnings, please visit
the link below: (It's also linked in my bio on all my socials)
https://forms.gle/Fng4TiggXzB3HPjV8
All of the characters in this book love to swear, as do I. If that is
not your thing, this will not be for you.
I wrote this book to feel justice for my past. The dedication will
seem weird to some, and I understand without context how it may.
Just know that even though this book contains humor, spice, and so
much more, I am not making a joke of my past or the
diseases/disorders that are mentioned.
I wrote this based on some of the events that occurred in my life.
Most of this is fiction but some events are from firsthand knowledge
of what that event was like. Others are from secondhand
experiences due to living with a loved one with the
disorders/diseases. If you share any of these and your experience is
different than mine, please keep in mind I’m writing from what I
witnessed and lived with.
The diseases/disorders spoken about in this have impacted my life
in many ways. Some people have different ways of coping with
trauma, and this is how I'm choosing to deal with mine.
If you know me personally and disagree with how I chose to
rewrite my past, disrespectfully, Fuck off.
If you resonate with any piece of this story, please know I hear you
and my inbox is always open if you want/need to talk.
Happy Reading!
“Mom, I know you did the best you could with the life you were
dealt. I miss you every day. This is me taking the power back into
our hands.”
Prologue
JULY 1ST, MY 18TH birthday, was the second worst day of my life. It
was also the last time I would ever walk into my childhood home.
Looking back, I should have expected it. My life hadn’t been
sunshine and rainbows for years, so I should have seen the
catastrophic bomb making its way toward me, with its sole purpose
to make my life even shittier than it already was.
Walking into my house that day, I knew in my gut that things
weren’t right. But I was crossing my fingers that Mom was having a
good day, which was rare because her mood changed like the hours
on the clock.
I should have listened to the nagging voice in my head that was
telling me something was seriously fucking wrong. But I didn’t
because, like most eighteen-year-olds on their birthday, I was ready
to celebrate being an adult.
Instead, I was greeted by my mother laying down in the living
room. The same living room where we’d watched our favorite movie
the night before. She was on the same couch we snuggled up
together and watched way too much reality television when she was
happy. Except this time, she wasn’t laughing at something some
daytime television host was saying. This time, she was staring up at
the ceiling. Her piercing green eyes were the same shade as mine,
but the only difference was that mine were unable to grasp what
was in front of me and hers were hazy.
I can’t even remember how many nights I wished for her to wake
up and see what was going on around us. But unfortunately, she
never got the chance. Her eyes weren’t hazy because of the copious
amount of alcohol she consumed on a regular basis; it was because
all of the life had been drained out of her.
Her arm hung over the side of the couch, prominently displaying
her deeply cut wrist. The silence was so loud that my ears screamed
in pain as I listened to the slow drip of blood hitting the wood floor
beneath her.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
And then I saw the note she left me:
I’m sorry. Mike will take care of you now. I love you. –Mom
My blood ran cold and a shiver rolled up my spine as I read the
words over and over again. Apparently, my mom had left me alone
in this world with nothing but a note and my stepfather, Mike. We
were so close. Why couldn’t she just hold on a little bit longer?
The two weren’t shy about their love that turned to hatred. If it
wasn’t the screaming that gave it away, it was the bruises that
marked her pale skin like a checkerboard. I like to think that, while
lost in her own battles, her mind and body didn’t allow her to see
what he was also doing to me. And now she never will.
At the time, I didn’t see the full picture because she was gone. I
wanted answers but I knew I needed to be alive to get them. So, I
gathered what I could and never looked back. I’m what some would
call a runaway, I was barely a legal adult when I left my hometown.
Looking back on that awful day, I think the higher powers were
watching out for me. Because if I hadn’t just turned eighteen, I
wouldn't have been able to get away.
I can’t even think about what would have happened if I hadn’t
escaped. Just the thought of being trapped in that house with that
man sends me into a panic attack so bad that I have to take one of
those dreaded pills. The ones that make me feel like I'm outside of
my body and make my brain feel fuzzy. I hate them but they are
sometimes the only thing that helps me calm down.
Growing up in upstate New York with my family was no easy task.
It's not like I didn't have access to food or shelter. I always had the
basics. It was just my mom and the men she brought around that
made it miserable.
I like to pretend that I can somehow forget what happened that
awful day. But it's extremely hard to erase the image of walking into
your house, hoping your mom is having a good day, excited to
celebrate with you – only to find her dead on the living room couch.
Her wrist was cut and her blood dripping off the sides of the couch
onto the wooden floor, the sound of life draining out of her and
echoing throughout the deathly quiet house.
That’s not something you can easily expunge from your memory,
unfortunately.
I’m still shocked when I think back to how I got out of there so
quickly, but after reading the note, my body went into immediate
survival mode. Something about it didn’t sit right and I wasn’t going
to stick around to find out.
I wish I could say Mom just had a bad radar when it came to men,
but I can’t. They all started out great and were experts at hiding
their true selves. Exhibit A: Me.
Mom met a guy one night while she was working at a tavern. He
sat with her all night and then they both decided to blow off some
steam. A couple of weeks later, she found out she was pregnant with
me. I don't know if she never found him or if he just didn't care to
show up. But any time I asked, she would brush it off and change
the subject. To this day, I still don't know who my dad is but with
her track record, I’d rather not.
I would have possibly stuck around to see that she had a proper
funeral, even if it was just me who would have been there, but that
one piece in the note had me running for the hills.
Mike will take care of you.
Not to speak ill of the dead, but that was a bunch of bullshit.
The only thing that man knew how to do was beat on people
smaller than him and make me feel really uncomfortable. I don’t
think that man had an ounce of love in his entire body.
Luckily, he wasn’t home so my escape was almost effortless.
After a few days on the road, I settled in Alabama. It wasn’t easy. I
lived in my car for months while working at a diner, until school
started and I was eligible for on-campus housing. I attended a year
of community college before I was accepted into the University of
Alabama nursing program. That’s where I met Allie, my roommate
turned best friend and someone that I will be eternally grateful for.
We bonded and became like sisters. Even her family took my
guarded, stubborn self into their home and didn’t think twice about
it. For the first time in a long time, I finally felt as normal as I could.
The demons of my past still lurked in the shadows, but I was
determined to not let my mother's death ruin my life.
Instead, I set out to have the full college experience. Because if
my life was going to end at any moment, I wanted to have at least
lived a somewhat happy life first.
I focused on classes, attended football games, and met more
friends along the way. Allie and I even started a t-shirt tradition to
document our time at college. We got each other a shirt whenever
we passed a test and after each football game we attended. And
then for our birthdays or basically any celebration, we got another
one. I have so many t-shirts now that I can’t even count.
School and time flew by and before I knew it, graduation was
closing in. I had to think about a more permanent place to land.
Despite my persistence to move forward, the danger was still there
and I needed peace of mind. I’d been taking various self-defense
courses so that if the time ever came, I could defend myself, but I
felt the need to be as far away from New York as possible. Alabama
just wasn’t far enough. Not to mention, I was missing cooler
weather and good hiking trails.
According to Google, the west coast was my best bet. And when I
saw that Oregon and Washington were at the top of the list, I had a
memory flash through my mind.
It was of me and Mom. She was on the couch and I was on the
floor, sitting between her legs while she braided some intricate
weaving into my long brown hair and dialed in on her show.
The opening scene was a view of the Seattle Space Needle. That
show always made her laugh, or more times than not – made her
cry. Even when she had more bad days than good during the week,
she would always give me recaps of the newest episodes.
As the memory hit me, I felt like Mom was sitting right there
beside me. I could hear her sweet laugh that was so infectious and
distinct that I know I will never forget it. The feeling was bittersweet
because, although I love my mom, I found myself wishing she was
like that all the time. But life is too short to focus on all the negative
memories. I wanted to always remember the happy times.
After that moment, my mind was made up. I spent a week
researching hospitals in the Seattle area, as well as the town itself.
Mt Rainier Medical Center caught my attention not only because of
its name but the fact that it was a level one trauma center, which
was exactly what I was looking for post-graduation.
The last few days of college passed in a blur, due to Allie and I
religiously studying for the national exam. We didn't leave her
father's office for a month straight, but we passed with flying colors
on the first attempt. Both of us were so happy we cried for an hour
straight before her mom made us get all dressed up and took us out
to celebrate.
A few days later, with my car packed to the brim, it was time to
drive the grueling forty hours to Seattle. I said a very heartbreaking
goodbye to Allie and her parents. The t-shirts we exchanged that
day are still my favorite. Since Allie was taking a job as a NICU nurse
in Florida, her shirt had a gator wearing a stethoscope while riding a
surfboard. Mine had a seahawk with a stethoscope around its neck,
riding on top of a ferry boat. I would miss that girl, but starting my
new life in Seattle was just what I needed.
The journey to get there was hard and some days, I wanted to
give up but as far as life goes, I was doing okay. The only problem
was, I knew I’d never be totally happy until my demons disappeared
for good.
Though I built my life as far away from those demons as possible,
the questions still lingered in the back of my mind and the worries I
took from that house were still with me. I told myself that it didn’t
matter anymore and tried to accept the fact that I may never know
if my gut feeling was right.
But then, almost eight years later, someone left a note on my car.
I knew what it meant, and I just hoped my mother and I didn't
share the same fate.
Chapter One
Logan
"LOLO, REMIND ME AGAIN why the hell we are using our only day
off and the hottest day of the year to move you into this house that
looks straight out of Twilight?” Harper yells from the front door.
I shake my head and laugh as I walk up the last few steps to the
loft. Harper is very much a Pacific Northwest girl. After going to
school in Alabama, a sunny 40° day is nothing to me.
Leaning over the railing in the loft, I yell down to her, "Because I’m
sick of paying a stupid amount of money for that tiny ass apartment
that I only see from the inside of my eyelids!”
I hear her mumble what I’m sure is cursing me a thousand ways to
Sunday. I don’t expect anything less from her. Harper’s personality is
just as dominating as her flaming red hair.
Harper took me by surprise when I first met her. I was walking into
my first shift in the emergency room at Mt Rainier Medical Center
and saw, more like heard, a girl yelling. I walked around the corner
and I expected to see a wife yelling at her husband. But it was
Harper.
She stood there, a tad bit taller than me with her hair in a high
ponytail that extended down the middle of her back, in black scrubs
and black Nikes. She was staring straight up at a very tall older man,
her green eyes full of fire, pointing her finger in his face and cursing
him with every name in the English dictionary.
I was so shocked that I stopped right in my tracks. The moment I
saw the man place a hand on her arm and aggressively push her
away, followed by Harper’s fist connecting with his face, my trance
was broken. I ran up behind the asshole, who was still standing
despite Harper’s amazing left hook, and tapped him on the shoulder.
As he whipped around, I punched him right in the crotch. The
douche canoe doubled over in pain and I put both hands on his
shoulders, sending my knee straight up into his nose as hard as I
could. Blood gushed from his face, and he fell to the floor. I quickly
jumped out of the way, so he didn't crush me.
For such a big man, he was a baby when it came to pain.
Once the guy was down, I pulled his arm behind his back and sat
on him. I folded my arms over my chest and when I looked up at
Harper, she was smiling like a kid in a candy store and plopped down
next to me on the asshole's back. We sat in silence waiting for
security and since then we have been inseparable.
I still don’t know to this day what that guy did to deserve the
wrath of Harper Olivia Masen, but it secured a bond in us that has
been strong for over three years now. She may be a pain in my ass
with all that sass. And she will never replace Allie, but I don’t know
what I’d do without her.
I break out of my memory of that unforgettable first day to get
back to the task at hand. It doesn't take us long to move all my
belongings into my new two-story cabin in Cliff Haven, a small town
that is located thirty minutes from the hospital in Seattle.
After I put down the last box and Harper leaves with me promising
to buy her coffee every day for the next month, I sit down and take
it all in.
The quiet and serenity is what I have been craving. I was stuck in
a studio apartment in downtown Seattle paying an obscene amount
of money per month. I hated it so much that I would pick up extra
shifts so I could spend as little time there as possible.
I found out about this place purely by luck. I was talking to Harper
at the nurses' station about my hatred of the apartment, when a
little old lady, whose name I learned later to be Mrs. Wanda, with
hair white as snow, came up to the desk. Her husband's door had
been open, and she overheard us. On the spot, she offered me this
place for half of what I was paying for the apartment.
I was very skeptical because who offers their home to a complete
stranger? I think she could tell I wasn’t believing a word she was
saying. She took her phone out and showed me an Airbnb listing,
and I was shocked. Mrs. Wanda explained that she used to rent out
her cabin home to tourists while she and her husband stayed in the
south during the summer months. Unfortunately, her husband was
diagnosed with cancer late last year and his condition was quickly
deteriorating. Due to them needing to be close to the hospital, they
moved into the city and had to take the listing off since she can’t get
out there to keep the maintenance up.
Mrs. Wanda offered to meet me up here the next day and see if it
was what I was looking for. I probably should have been more
careful because she could have been leading me to my death in the
woods, but I was desperate.
I was ready to sign on the dotted line the minute I drove through
the heart of Cliff Haven. The main road is lined with a few shops, a
bar, a tattoo shop, and a convenience store. I drove slowly and
looked down the small roads that branched off and saw a tiny
grocery store and a diner. I wanted to stop and explore but I was
desperate to see the house.
A long driveway opened up to a small clearing where a small A-
framed deep oak cabin sat. The bottom floor of the house was made
up of two giant windows that are separated by stone that extends
into a chimney. The windows allow the light coming from inside to
illuminate the driveway. You could see straight to the back of the
house where a small screen door provided a view of a small deck
facing the expansive forest behind the house.
The night before, Mrs. Wanda told me to bring the first month’s
rent in case I loved it, which I did. The minute she opened the door,
I handed her the money and asked for the rental agreement. She
shook her head and said she knew I would. Twenty minutes later,
she dropped the keys on the small table and left.
Before heading back to the city, I explored the house to see what I
would need to bring with me from the apartment. The entire place
was furnished which made me happy knowing I wouldn’t have to
rent a U-Haul and could donate the small amount of furniture I had
to a shelter.
The kitchen was small but had all the necessities, with light wood
cabinets and a granite island that separated it from the rest of the
first floor. In the living room, two identical gray suede couches
mirrored the windows with a coffee table in the middle and the focal
point was a gorgeous gray stone fireplace. A flat-screen TV was on
the wall above the mantel. I imagined myself curled up on the couch
with a book and a fire going on my nights off.
A staircase led off to the loft above, where the only bedroom in the
entire house is found. From the top, there was a perfect view of the
living room below, and a large picture window framed the king-sized
bed on the back wall. I was surprised to see a large master
bathroom with a sparkling white clawfoot tub sitting below a
skylight. I could see myself soaking and looking up at the stars on
clear nights after a long shift. Next to the bathtub was a waterfall
shower that I knew would be used to wash off all the mud I would
be covered in after my hikes.
Harper would have a heart attack if she had to live here because
although this place was perfect, the closet was very tiny. That girl
owns so many clothes she could open a department store.
I don’t have an expansive wardrobe like my best friend, but I
needed more than the space provided. My wardrobe consisted of too
many pairs of scrubs to count and an extensive graphic tee
collection. Also, a stupid number of Nikes, a few pairs of hiking
boots, rain boots and a few going out shoes that Harper forced me
to buy. Thankfully, there were drawers lining underneath the bed
that I could shove clothes and underwear in. Before I left the house
that night, I rush ordered a small dresser.
Now I’m here and I can’t wait to finish settling in. I think if
someone had told me almost eight years ago this would be my life, I
would have laughed in their face. Although I made a promise to
myself that day to keep going and never give up, I certainly didn’t
think I would have made it this far.
My work as a nurse has brought me more than I ever could have
imagined. I have a stable income. I love my job. I have two amazing
best friends.
I just really hope this new town and new place will give me the
peace I’ve been so desperately seeking. I know that’s near
impossible with the living threat over my head that haunts my
nightmares. It’s been so long, but I still feel like the danger is slowly
closing in on me. I just hope that if or when it comes, all the work
I’ve done to prepare is enough.
Chapter Two
Grayson
Grayson
RELACIONES Y DEBERES
CAPÍTULO PRIMERO
CLASIFICACIÓN DE RELACIONES
Relación de necesidad;
Relación de gratitud;
Relación de utilidad;
Relación de derecho;
Relación de deber.