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Alpha Unhinged The Dixon Brothers 4

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ALPHA UNHINGED
THE DIXON BROTHERS BOOK FOUR
OLIVIA T. TURNER
Copyright© 2021 by Olivia T. Turner.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
including emailing, photocopying, printing, recording, or by any
information storage and retrieval system, without permission in
writing from the author. For permission requests, email
Olivia@oliviatturner.com

Please respect the author’s hard work and purchase a copy.


Thanks!

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events,


businesses, companies, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely
coincidental.

www.OliviaTTurner.com

Edited by Karen Collins Editing


Cover Design by Olivia T. Turner
CONTENTS

Copyright
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue
Epilogue
Don’t be shy. Come Follow Me…
Come and join my private Facebook Group!
Become Obsessed with OTT

Also by Olivia T. Turner


To Piña Coladas,
I could really use one of you on a beach right about now.
CHAPTER ONE

Jacob

I have two beasts growling at me at the same time .


Although, our Great Dane’s vicious growls turn to pathetic
whimpers when I yank the soggy tennis ball out of his mouth. Moose
looks up at me with wide eyes as I raise my arm. I launch it across
the valley and he takes off running, kicking up dusty dirt with his
four huge paws.
I sigh as the second beast growls at me.
He’s not as easy to placate. This beast requires something I can’t
provide. Only fate can give him what he’s looking for and so far, fate
has been a no-show.
My inner Kodiak bear snarls as I watch our white dog with the
black spots clear half of the valley in no time. He’s livid that I’m
standing here, playing with Moose. Outraged that I would dare do
anything except search for our mate every second of my life.
Believe me, if I knew where she was, I would go to her.
But I don’t. And that painful fact is eating me alive.
Stop it, I warn my bully of a bear as he starts to pace more
violently now. He responds with a savage roar and then starts trying
to claw his way out.
His intentions are clear: If you’re not going to look for her, then I
will.
I flex my muscles and grit my teeth, struggling to hold him in. He
wrenches and twists my insides as he tries to wrestle and force his
way out. My own growl rumbles out of my throat as I push him back
down.
He’s feisty today, which is a nice way of saying he’s being a nasty
feral fucker. My Kodiak has always longed for our mate, we both
have, but lately, it’s been something else.
He’s desperate for her and he’s taking it out on me. As if I’m not
every bit as desperate to find her as he is. As if I don’t lay awake
every night wondering where she is, what she looks like, when I’ll
finally be able to hold her in my hands and touch her sweet soft lips.
As if my insides don’t twist and clench every time I think about her
out in this dangerous world without her mate by her side.
I need her so badly it’s killing me. It always has. I’m thirty-four,
the oldest of the four Dixon boys, and I’m the only one who’s still
alone. Where is she?
I squeeze my body with a grunt as my cruel bear tries to claw his
way out. I fall to my knees as I try to shove him back in. With eyes
squeezed shut and jaw clenched, I feel a wetness on my hand.
Moose is back with the ball.
I yank it out of his mouth and throw it with all of the frustration
and rage I’m feeling. The poor dog watches helplessly as the tennis
ball soars across the ranch and lands in the forest on the far side.
He lowers his head with a whimper.
“Sorry, boy,” I say as I drop a shaking hand on his head. “I’ll buy
you a new one. I promise.”
He licks my cheeks and saunters off without a care in the world.
Oh, what I would give to change places with him. To not be
burdened with the bitter pain of longing.
My bear gives up with a growl and slips back down deep,
hunkering inside with all of the softness of broken glass.
I punch the dirt and curse under my breath as I stare at the deep
knuckle marks. It wasn’t always like this.
The yearning for my mate was always there, but it was never this
crippling.
What changed?
I squeeze my eyes shut as I hear the carefree laughter of three
happily mated couples leave the house.
All three of my brothers have found their mates. I’m the only one
still flying solo. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for them. Thrilled.
It’s just hard to see everyone around you happily soaring up to the
clouds with all of their dreams coming true when you’re stuck in the
mud, helpless, hopeless, and trapped with an angry, frustrated bear
who is too stupid or too heartless to realize that you have nothing to
do with the depressing situation.
“Jacob!” Cameron shouts from behind me.
“Fuck,” I whisper. Why can’t they just leave me alone?
I hear his footsteps approaching when I don’t answer.
“You okay, bro?”
I glance at him over my shoulder as tears sting the back of my
eyes. “Yeah. Fine.”
He exhales loudly. “We’re heading out for ice cream, why don’t
you come with us?”
I turn back around and stare at the knuckle prints in the dirt.
“It would be good for you to get out.”
I shake my head. I love my brothers and we’ve been through a
lot, but how can I explain to him how painful this is? He was the first
of us to get his mate, a spunky girl named Mary who spilled a full
pint of beer all over me when she came crashing into our lives. He
doesn’t know what it feels like to be surrounded by love and be the
only one rejected. The one lonesome, companionless recluse stuck
on love island. It fucking sucks.
“I’m just going to hang out here, but thanks.”
He sighs as he drops a hand on my shoulder. Those tears that
were stinging the back of my eyes threaten to spill out. One fat drop
gets past my defenses and slides down my cheek. I keep my face
away from him so he doesn’t see.
It’s pathetic, really. I was a military ranger once and then a hired
mercenary. Tough as they come and here I am blubbering and
crying over a girl I’ve never met.
“She’ll come, brother,” he says in a soft voice. “You’ll see.”
I nod, but I don’t believe it. Not anymore.
I’ve looked everywhere for her, waiting to feel her essence fill me
up with that magical light, but it’s been nothing but cold dark
loneliness. All of my hope has dried up like the bottom of a drained
lake cracking in the hot sun.
I got nothing left.
Cameron leaves without another word. I stay on my knees, trying
to block out the sounds of their happy voices as they pile into
Roman’s truck.
“He’s not coming?” Ivy asks.
“Is it because of his mate?” Bailey says. “When is he going to
find her?”
“Hopefully soon,” Easton whispers. “He’s been such a buzzkill
lately.”
“He’s having a hard time,” Cameron snaps at him. “Just like you
would be if you were the last one.”
“Thank God for that,” Easton answers and I hear Ivy squeal. He’s
probably grabbing her hip and pulling her against him. I hope he
realizes how fucking lucky he is…
I don’t move until the truck rumbles out of the ranch and down
the road. With a heavy sigh, I get up to my feet and head back to
the house. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept in weeks. I spend the
nights staring at the ceiling in my big lonely bed, or roaming the
forest in my bear form when I can’t stand laying there without my
mate for another minute.
I shuffle my feet through the dirt like a zombie, feeling half dead.
My bear is ignoring me, which is a nice change.
How is it possible to have a two thousand pound Kodiak bear
inside me and still feel so… empty?
I call out to Moose before I step inside the house. He doesn’t
come. They must have taken him too. I sigh.
The house phone rings when I’m heading up to my room. I
consider not answering it then I remember about Burton and the
hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight.
Dylan Burton is still alive. He was the one who hired us as
mercenaries back in the day. He was also the one who crossed us,
killed my father and uncle, and got his ass thrown off a cliff by
Easton when we got him back.
We thought the tough old polar bear shifter was dead, but
apparently, he’s still alive and wanting to settle the score. We’ve
even had a few encounters with his team of wolf shifters, The Lone
Wolf Mercenaries, since we’ve settled down on this Montana ranch.
I rush over to the phone as my heart pounds a little harder.
I love my brothers, but their mates are making them soft. Going
for ice cream? Are you fucking kidding me? We should be tracking
down this bastard and not stopping until he’s dead for real this time.
They think the wolves were lying and Burton is dead. I think
they’re delusional. Blinded by love. Just because they’re done with
our past, doesn’t mean our past is done with them.
“Hello,” I grunt into the phone.
“Is Easton there?”
I recognize the voice. It’s Bailey’s brother Enzo.
Just when my bear needs to get into a good fight to blow off
steam, my brothers make friends with the firecunts and deny me a
punching bag.
Easton mated with Bailey and she brokered a shaky peace
between us and the town firefighters. Before that we were brawling
every time we crossed paths.
“No,” I grunt into the phone. Not all of us are so thrilled about
the new friendship.
“Who is this?”
I grit my teeth before I spit out an answer. “Jacob.”
He sighs. “I got word that there’s two Lone Wolf Mercenaries
drinking it up in a dive bar outside of town.”
I perk up. So does my bear.
“Where?”
“The Tipsy Cobra. Do you know it?”
“Yeah.”
“I’d meet you there, but I’m on a shift with a new firefighter. A
human.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
I slam the phone down, feeling happier than I have in a long
time. I need this.
A good fight will help chill out my bear. I might finally get a good
night’s sleep.
With a grin on my face, I grab my keys and race out of the
house, straight into my truck. My adrenaline is racing as I peel out of
the ranch, finally about to have some fun.
CHAPTER TWO

Jacob

A s I’ m driving to T he T ipsy C obra , my adrenaline rush dissipates and


I’m back to thinking about my mate.
For the millionth time, I go over what I’m going to do to her
when I find her. I can’t wait to put my lips on her, to run my hand up
her naked spine, to sink into her tight warmth. But more than
anything, I can’t wait to love her. To give her everything she needs,
to provide for her, protect her, possess her.
I get shivers just from thinking about it.
My bear comes roaring back. He’s pacing around inside, huffing
and puffing like the nasty brute he is.
“Just a few more minutes,” I tell him when I spot the mangy bar
in the distance. “You’ll have your turn, but I’m first.”
He growls in disagreement. He can growl all he wants, but I’m
throwing the first punch on those pathetic wolves.
I pull into the parking lot and sneer when I see a few shiny bikes
parked in front.
My heart is pumping with excitement as I park and head inside.
The wooden steps that lead to the dilapidated porch creak as I walk
up to them with my hands squeezed into fists.
It’s dark and dreary inside the bar. A couple of drunks are
commiserating at the tables, complaining as if the whole world has
been conspiring to fuck up their lives when in reality it was all them
and they don’t need any help from the universe.
The bartender looks over at me, a weathered woman who
probably goes to bed every night wondering where her life went
wrong.
My eyes lock on the two men sitting at the bar. Lone Wolf
Mercenaries is proudly displayed on the backs of their leather cuts. I
grit my teeth as my blood boils.
I’m glad I’m the only one here. I don’t want any backup. I want
these two punks all to myself.
I crack my knuckles as I head over, trying not to smile.
Fuck, I’m going to enjoy this.
The one on the right, a lanky fucker with long greasy black hair
looks at me over his shoulder as I approach.
“Tats,” he says as he slaps his friend’s arm. Tats turns around and
I jerk my head back in surprise when I see his face. Every inch of
this guy is covered in tattoos. Even his eyelids are covered in ink.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” Tats spits as he looks me up
and down.
“You smell that?” the lanky fucker asks as he sniffs the air. “Bear.”
“Kodiak bear,” Tats sneers. “Wasn’t the boss looking for Kodiak
bears?”
“Who’s your boss?” I growl.
They don’t answer. They just glare at me.
“Dylan Burton?”
They glance at each other after hearing their boss’ name on my
lips and then stand up, staring me down as their hands squeeze into
fists.
“So, he is alive?”
“He’s alive,” Tats says. He turns to his friend and grins. “How
about we lay this fucker out and bring him to Mr. Burton as a gift?”
“Good idea,” the lanky one answers with a sneer. “Mr. Burton can
flay him alive and have a nice comfy bearskin rug for his office.”
“Boys,” the bartender says as she backs up with wide eyes. “Take
it outside please.”
The guys step forward, ignoring her.
My bear thrashes around inside, desperate to get out.
I squeeze my body, holding him back. They lunge at me.
I leap out of the way with a grunt and throw a punch that grazes
the lanky guy’s cheek. It barely hits, but it gets his attention.
“Fur or skin?” Tats asks his friend.
“What’s it been since our last fight?” he answers, never taking his
eyes off me. “Three days?”
“Has it been that long?”
Lanky fucker nods. “Yeah, it’s been that long. I say skin.”
Tats rolls his head. “Sounds good to me.”
They both leap on me at the same time. I jump back, hitting a
table that screeches across the floor. I eat three punches, but it feels
good. It also gets my bear frothing at the mouth to come out.
I grab the lanky guy’s long black hair and crack him in the face
with a hard uppercut. Tats jumps on me and wraps his arm around
my neck. He’s stronger than I thought, but a wolf can’t match a
bear’s strength. Especially mine.
I pry his arm off and throw him over my shoulder, slamming him
into the table. He rips through it, slicing the thick wood in half.
“No!” the bartender shouts. “Outside. Please!”
I start heading toward the door so we don’t bust up her whole
place, but the wolves regroup and lunge at me again.
Tats gets my knuckles in his face, but the lanky fuck manages to
land a few shots on me. I take three in the ribs and a hard
roundhouse to my temples which has me seeing stars for half a
second.
I grab him and launch him across the room. He sails over the
sticky bar, taking several empty beer bottles out with him.
I turn my attention onto Tats, landing hard bombs all over his
body, relishing it, loving it. This was just what I needed. If I can’t
get any action with my mate, then this kind of action is the next best
thing.
A blaze of light catches my eye and I gasp when I see the lanky
fuck behind the bar holding a Molotov cocktail. A flaming rag is
hanging out of the open bottle of Vodka. He grins before he
launches it at me.
I grab the closest table and hold it up like a shield. The glass
bottle shatters on the wood and engulfs it in flames.
I try to stamp out the fire, but the flaming Vodka landed
everywhere, burning all of the old wood in its path. My shoe catches
on fire just as Tats jumps on me.
We wrestle on the ground, dipping in and out of the flames. He
screams when his jeans catch.
The bartender rushes out of the place, screaming into her phone
for someone to come quickly.
When the lanky guy comes back, he’s in his wolf form. A large
gray wolf who’s snarling at me. He snaps his vicious jaws and then
leaps. I catch his neck in the air and slam him into a couple of
wooden chairs.
Oh, shit.
The place is really burning up now. This is not what I wanted.
Flames lick up the walls and the sticky bar looks like an inferno.
I’d try to put it out, but these two dogs are keeping me busy.
Tats smacks the flames off his jeans and stands up next to his
friend. A large beam crashes to the floor behind them. The air is
thick with smoke. Flames everywhere.
We all realize it’s time to go and the three of us hurry outside
where the bartender is smoking a cigarette while watching her
business burn down. She has a happy grin on her face. What’s that
about?
Not ten seconds pass before it’s back on. I kick the wolf in the
ribs as he pounces on me and then I grab Tats by the arm. I slam
him into my truck and then unload a vicious combination on him,
slamming my fists into his stomach, ribs, chin, and temples at a
furious pace.
He drops to his knees, his hand on the ground. I stomp on it,
pinning him in place.
“Where’s Burton?”
“Fuck you,” he hisses through bloody teeth.
“Tell me and I’ll let you go.”
He spits a string of curse words at me.
My bear growls like spidey-sense and I turn around just in time
to catch the wolf in the air. His jaws are wide open and frothing like
a rabid dog. I grab the back of his head, using his momentum to
slam him into Tats. His jaw closes on Tat’s shoulder and he lets out a
scream.
The wolf tries to open his jaw to release his friend, but I hold it
closed, pressing his sharp teeth further in. Blood runs down Tats’
tattooed arm as he hollers in pain.
“Where the fuck is Burton?” I hiss. “Last chance.”
Tats winces in pain as I hold the wolf’s jaws in place. “He’s… on
his way here.” He’s taking quick desperate breaths. Sweat pours
down his pale face.
“What?”
“He’s coming here,” he says with a wince. “To find you. We’re the
scouts. We were making sure you were here. The Dixon brothers,
right? He’s bringing the whole pack.”
My blood goes cold. He’s not lying. If Dylan Burton is coming for
revenge, then he will be prepared. I don’t know how many wolf
shifters he has in his employ. Twenty? Fifty? A hundred?
I have to let my brothers know.
“When is he arriving?”
“Six days.”
He’s lying. I press the wolf’s jaw harder. He screams.
“Three days! It’s three days, I swear!”
I stare at him in shock. In three days we could have a swarm of
wolf shifters and a pissed-off polar bear shifter to deal with.
My inner Kodiak growls, wanting a turn with these chumps.
You’ll have your chance soon enough, I tell him. You’ll have as
many wolves as you can handle. Maybe even more than that.
A siren rips through the air and I get a bad feeling in my gut
when I recognize the sound. It’s the firecunts. If their chief Quinton
is there, I might have another shifter to fight.
“I’ll let you go and you change back,” I tell the wolf. “Otherwise,
I’ll grab your tail and throw you into the fire that you started.”
The roof collapses in on the blazing bar behind us. It’s an
inferno. Nothing is going to be salvaged from that mess.
I release my pressure on the wolf’s jaw and Tats whimpers as he
lets his shoulder go. His mouth is dripping with blood, making him
look demonic, but he does as I commanded and phases back.
The sirens are ear-piercing as the truck rumbles into the parking
lot.
A growl rumbles out of my throat as I watch the firefighting crew
explode out of the truck, grabbing equipment as they hurry. What’s
the point? It’s a total loss anyway. Let it all burn to the ground, so
this poor lady will have less cleanup to deal with.
A tingling smell hits my nose and then my throat burns like I’ve
just taken a shot of gasoline and gotten too close to the flames. It
tears through me, sparking my bear up and turning him frantic. I
can’t breathe.
I fall to my knees, grasping at my throat.
The wolves know an opportunity when they see one and take off
running. I swipe at Tat’s ankles, trying to trip him up, but I graze his
charred jeans and they manage to escape. They jump on their bikes
and take off in a slew of sparks. Their tires melted from the heat of
the fire and they’re practically rolling on the metal frames now.
I stand up to go after them when something stuns me to the
core.
Not something. Someone.
She jumps out of the firetruck and looks up at the fire in awe. It
must be her first day. She has that dumbstruck look in her beautiful
hazel eyes. I must have the same look on my face as I stare at her.
She’s dressed in full firefighting gear, that bulky suit hiding the
beautiful curves I know are hiding underneath. Her hair is hidden
under the big yellow helmet, but what I can see of her, I’ve already
fallen in love with.
She has a beautiful face that’s now twisted with determination as
she grabs a hose from the truck and rushes over to the fire hydrant.
Soft plump lips, a cute little button nose, warm hazel eyes. Fuck, I’m
love.
And so is my bear. He hasn’t moved or made a sound since we
first laid eyes on her. I can’t remember the last time the impatient
fucker lasted this long without making my life hell.
That’s our mate.
That’s her.
That’s the woman we’ve thought of, dreamed of, fantasized of,
every minute of every day for the last thirty-four years.
That’s the woman who’s going to change everything. She already
has.
Just one look and everything has shifted. My world is all about
her now.
I take a deep breath and walk over.
It’s time to show her just what that means.
CHAPTER THREE

Alyssa
Five minutes earlier…

I can ’ t believe this is happening .


M y first fire . I can ’ t freaking wait .
I have a huge grin on my face as I look around at the other guys
while we race down the road. They look bored. Bored! How could
they possibly be bored!?
My adrenaline is jacked through the roof as the siren rings in my
ears. This is what I’ve been training for. This is what I’ve been
waiting for since I first saw the movie Backdraft when I was nine
years old. A fire. A real fire that I get to put out! I’m freaking out!
Enzo spots my bouncing knee and then looks at me with a raised
eyebrow.
“Just excited,” I say, unable to hide my enormous smile. “It’s my
first fire.”
“Keep your head out there or it will be your last,” Quinton says
from the passenger seat.
“Yes, Chief!” I yell a little too enthusiastically.
Grey looks at me with a scowl. I don’t think he appreciates my
enthusiasm very much. I don’t think he appreciates anything very
much. I haven’t seen the giant man smile once since I got assigned
to this fire station.
Brees is driving. He honks the horn and swears as he swerves
around a car that’s not getting out of the way fast enough.
I’ve been with these guys for ten days and this is the first fire
we’ve gotten. I had a couple of false alarms and a broken fire
hydrant (which left me soaked by the way), but nothing real until
now.
It’s been awkward living with them. I’m the only female and I
don’t think they’ve been around too many girls. I don’t think they
know what to do with me.
Luckily, I’ve been around a lot of guys, so I know how to handle
myself in a masculine arena. I had three brothers growing up, two
older, one younger, and they always had friends over.
But these guys are different than my brothers. I don’t remember
Matthew being so moody, or Alex roaring in his sleep, or Thomas
walking into the house naked with shredded clothes in his hands. I
don’t remember hair in the shower drain too thick to be human or
cracked tiles and scratch marks on the walls.
I think these guys are shifters.
I’m pretty sure of it, but I’m too new to ask. What’s the policy on
asking about that in the workplace? I’m assuming it’s like asking
about religious affiliations or sexual preference. You don’t.
I sneak a peek at Grey as he stares out the window with a blank
expression on his face. How can he not be a shifter? His arms are as
thick as my thighs and my thighs are thick with muscle.
His eyes dart over to mine and he frowns. I drop my eyes to the
ground, staring at my shiny new boots as my face burns red.
I have to fit in here.
I don’t want to go back home. The small town in Kentucky that I
grew up in has nothing waiting for me. All of my brothers have left,
my mother died, I can handle talking to my father once a week on
the phone, but more than that is too much.
And there are no prospects in the men department. I’m a strong
girl. Built tough. What I didn’t get from working on a farm all of my
childhood, I got in the gym. It was important to me to be as strong
as any of the men on my team.
In a normal firefighting unit, I would be, but with freaks like Grey
and Brees beside me, I don’t stand a chance in meeting their
strength.
Anyway, I was too muscly for any of the men I dated. I could see
it in their eyes when I walked into the restaurant or bar. Who wants
a girlfriend who could kick their ass? I’m sure some don’t mind, but
they weren’t living in my hometown.
I hope Belgrade Springs is going to be different. I’m sick of being
alone.
“Frye!” Quinton bellows at me, calling me by my last name. “It’s
your first rodeo, so you’re on the pipe.”
My smile widens. I get to hold the hose and put out the flames?
This is too good to be true. I’m so excited and grateful that I feel
like I’m going to cry.
“Just don’t get in the way,” Grey mutters in a low voice.
I think it’s the first thing he’s said to me. I know all about alpha
male bullshit and you can’t let them get away with it. That’s the first
rule of living and working with a bunch of guys.
“Why is that?” I snap back at him. “You afraid you’re going to be
outshined by a girl?”
Brees and Enzo burst out laughing. Even Quinton is chuckling as
he shakes his head.
“Yeah, Grey!” Enzo says with a chuckle. “You afraid of being—”
Grey’s huge arm whips out and he grabs Enzo by the hair. His
laughter is immediately replaced by a wince as he’s yanked forward.
“You want to finish that thought?” Grey asks in his deep booming
voice.
“No, no!” Enzo quickly says, his demeanor and tone of voice
doing a one-eighty. “I know you’re not afraid of anything! Can you
let go of my hair please? Once you lose it at my age, it doesn’t come
back. Every hair is precious.”
Grey holds on for another few seconds and then lets go.
Enzo sits back in his chair, smoothing out his messy hair with a
red face.
Grey stares me down and I stare him down right back. The
tension grows until we pull into the parking lot and I turn to gawk at
the burning building through the window.
I forget all about Grey as the excitement and anticipation come
roaring back. I can smell the smoke. I can feel the heat.
The truck stops and the guys jump out so quickly it’s a blur. I
don’t even have my safety belt off.
“Shit,” I mutter as I fumble with it. My fingers are all shaky and
my heart is pounding so hard that I can barely think.
I’m the last one out by far. The others are already doing their job
as I rush out of the truck and head for the hose. I grab it and easily
pull it to the fire hydrant. All those intense workouts in the gym have
paid off and I’m glad I’m not struggling.
I hook it up in record time as I feel Quinton’s eyes on me,
watching me and making sure I’m not screwing up.
I feel other eyes on me as well. The feeling is intense, but I don’t
dare look away and risk screwing up in front of my new crew. I
unleash the water and it fills the hose up until it’s hard and ready to
burst out of the nozzle.
I rush over to grab the other end, but just as I arrive, Grey steps
in and elbows me out of the way.
“Back in the truck, rookie,” he mutters as he picks up the pipe
and pulls back the lever. A heavy stream of water surges out and
soars into the burning blaze.
“Hey!” I shout at him over the roar of the flames and water.
“That’s my position!”
“What are you going to do about it?” he answers with a grin.
I don’t know what comes over me, but I kick him as hard as I
can in the dick and yank the hose out of his hands.
He falls to a knee and the look of pure rage on his red face tells
me that was a huge mistake. Probably a fatal mistake.
He roars as he gets to his feet and lunges on me, but he never
arrives. A huge blur flies between us, tackling him to the ground.
I gasp as I watch two huge men separate as they stare each
other down with furious eyes.
Shit, I don’t have time for this. I’m trying to fulfill my life’s dream
over here. I keep the stream of water pointed at the building (and
not between Grey’s eyes like I want to).
The other guys start hollering and yelling as Grey and the new
man collide again. Enzo, Quinton, and Brees all run over.
I want to help him since he did save my life, but the man is on
top of Grey and landing hard punches, so he doesn’t need help from
me. But that poor lady over there watching her business burn to the
ground does.
I step away from the brawl and try to detect the hot zones like I
learned in training. Shit, the whole building is a hot zone.
My heart is racing with excitement as I take on the flames,
smothering them with the water from the hose. Thick black smoke
billows into the air as the water does its job.
The owner comes running over to me, waving her hands in the
air. “Turn it off! Let it burn! I’m going to collect the insurance money
and retire in Barbados!”
She looks thrilled, which is a relief, but I’m not going to stop until
every last flame is out.
It’s not long before all that’s left is a creaking, soaked, blackened
frame of a building.
I turn off the nozzle, cutting the water as I grin. I did it. There’s
not much left to the building, but I did what I could.
It’s then that I remember the fight. I lower the pipe and turn
around to look.
I gasp when I see Grey holding the man’s arms behind his back
as Quinton lands hard punches into his stomach.
“Hey! Stop that!”
They don’t listen. Brees is watching impassively. Only Enzo seems
to care. He’s shaking his head as he turns away, but he’s not doing
anything to stop it.
“Leave him alone!” I shout as I rush over, dragging the pipe with
me.
Each thunderous punch has me wincing. Each heavy grunt that
leaves my savior breaks my heart. I can’t let them do this. He helped
me and I have to return the favor.
“Stop it!” I scream, giving them one last chance.
Quinton not only doesn’t stop, but he switches to the man’s face,
slamming hard punches into his cheeks and chin.
That’s it! I’m putting a stop to this.
I pull back the pipe and let them have it.
A hard stream of water surges out and blasts Quinton in the
chest just as he pulls back his fist to land another devastating blow.
He’s caught off balance and flies backward, skidding across the
pavement with a grunt.
As he slides away from us, I arch the jet of water over my new
friend’s head and blast it right into Grey’s face. If he didn’t want to
kill me before, he surely does now. I’m as good as dead.
He releases the guy and his arms fly up to cover his face as I fill
it with ten thousand gallons of water. The guy elbows him in the
stomach and then rushes over to my side.
I get my first glimpse of his face and my core tightens. The way
he’s looking at me…
It sends shivers racing through my body. Those brown eyes…
They’re so intense.
There’s something different about this man. I can feel it all over.
Physically, mentally, spiritually. I step closer to him as goosebumps
tickle my skin.
“We’re going,” he grunts as he grabs my wrist with an
unbreakable grip.
This is my job. I can’t leave. I worked so hard to get here and I
refuse to quit.
Quinton is soaked as he gets up, glaring at me with his furious
blue eyes.
I gulp. I guess I quit the second I decided to hit my boss in the
chest with a water gun on steroids. I’ll be lucky if he only fires me.
Both him and Grey look like they want my head on a pike.
I nod my head at the guy clutching my wrist. “Great idea!”
I pull the lever down, cutting the flow of water, but the hose is
still primed and ready as we back toward what I’m hoping is his
truck.
My new crew (or my old crew is more like it) glare at us as we
back away.
“Traitor,” Brees says, spitting out the word like venom.
Ouch. That hurts.
The man’s hand is still wrapped around my wrist as he pulls me
back. It should be sending warning bells off in my head, but it’s not.
If anything, my body, soul, brain, and every other part of me is
telling me to go with him.
So I do.
He hops in the driver’s seat and starts the truck.
“Stay back,” I warn as I point the hose at the four men. They all
start coming at the same time. “Shit!”
I throw the hose down and leap into the truck. The man takes
off, peeling out of the parking lot before I have a chance to close the
door. I scream as I nearly roll out, but he catches me in time,
holding me by the back of my suit.
He pulls me in as we fly down the highway.
CHAPTER FOUR

Alyssa

I reach over to close the open door and nearly have a heart attack
when I see the concrete whizzing by me in a blur. With my pulse
racing, I grab the handle and yank the door closed.
What the hell did I just do?
I kicked a member of my team in the balls and sprayed him in
the face with the hose (which wasn’t in the manual, but I’m sure is a
big industry-wide no-no). If that wasn’t enough, I blasted my boss in
the chest and then fled an active fire with a strange man I’ve never
met before.
I want to cry. I worked so hard to get to this point and I messed
it all up in a few crazed minutes.
“Are you okay?” the man asks in his deep comforting voice.
I turn and look at him, seeing him clearly for the first time. My
stomach turns in on itself and my eyes widen as I take him in. His
clothes are soaked and they’re clinging to his big thick muscles. This
man is enormous. Not quite as big as Grey, but still huge.
I swallow hard as he looks at me with an intense smoldering
gaze. It sends a jolt of warmth straight between my legs and I shift
in my seat when I feel the heat of desire pulsing down there.
His dark beard matches his dark eyes. Tattoos peek out from
under his shirt on his biceps and on his chest. He’s intimidating-
looking. The kind of guy who’d make you cross the street if you
passed him at night, but I don’t feel any intimidation. Attraction yes,
but intimidation, no.
“Are you hurt?” he asks again, his hungry eyes roaming over my
body.
“No,” I hear myself say. “I’m fine. I think.”
My eyes zero in on his huge hands and bloody knuckles as he
grips the steering wheel. We’ve been swerving through traffic and
flying past cars at a rate that should only be experienced on a
racetrack, but now he begins to slow.
“Are you hurt?” I ask with a lump in my throat. I don’t know why
I’m so upset at the thought, but I am. I cringe when I think back to
the memory of Quinton’s fists pounding into him.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he says as he turns back to the road.
I suck in a breath as we pass another exit. “Where are we
going?” I ask.
I’m so screwed. All of my things are at the fire station. My whole
life is there, what little life I have, and I can’t go back. I can’t ever
show my face there again or Quinton and Grey are going to make
sure I have no life left.
He turns to speak, but he doesn’t answer my question. He just
stares at me in awe.
“I was worried I was never going to find you.”
“Huh?”
“You’re more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. You’re
perfect.”
Geez, how many punches did this man take to the head? He
can’t even follow a conversation.
“What’s your name?” he asks.
I gulp, wondering just how much I should share with this strange
man. Sure, he’s good-looking, but he must have a few screws loose
with the way he’s acting.
“Alyssa,” I reluctantly say.
“Alyssa,” he repeats as if he’s savoring a fine wine. “Beautiful
name.”
It’s starting to get hot in here. I unclasp my helmet and hold it
on my lap, keeping it close in case I need it again. I’m not entirely
convinced that this man is not unhinged.
“What’s your name?”
He looks at me with a sexy grin. “Jacob.”
“Nice to meet you, Jacob,” I say like I’m talking to a lunatic with
a knife. “Where exactly are we going?”
“I’d take you back to my ranch, but it’s not safe there.”
Not safe? Oh, crap. What is this psycho going to do to me?
He shakes his head. “We can’t go to the Dixon ranch just yet.”
Dicks in? Dicks in what? Not me! I refuse!
I look at the concrete road whizzing by and wonder if it’s safe
enough to roll out. I put my helmet back on just in case. Maybe I
can run into the woods and hide from him.
“I say we lay low in a hotel for the night,” he says.
A hotel?!
“I’ll call my brothers. Tell them to be prepared for a lot of
bloodshed.”
Oh my God. What did I do?
We may be going forty miles an hour, but I’d rather have every
bone in my body broken on the highway than be chopped up by a
psychopath and his brothers on the Dicks In Ranch.
I say a little prayer when he slows down in traffic, open the door,
and leap out.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
My body slams into the side of the dirt road and rolls and rolls
and rolls and fucking doesn’t stop rolling.
I finally skid to a stop and stare up at the bright blue sky with a
wince. “Ow.”
That fucking hurt. My elbow is throbbing, but I don’t think
anything is broken. I do a quick test of all my limbs and they all
move. Landing in the dirt shoulder of the highway probably saved
my life.
“Oh no,” I gasp when I spot Jacob’s truck swerving to the side.
His break lights come on and I know it’s time for me to start moving.
I push myself up to my feet with a groan, adrenaline coursing
through my veins.
I hear the door open and he calls out my name in a panicked
voice.
He’s not catching me. I start running toward the dense forest. It’s
thick with trees and if I have a head-start, I might be able to hide.
This bright yellow jumpsuit is the opposite of camouflage but I have
no time to strip it off. This man moves fast.
I barely make it past three trees when he catches up to me.
“Alyssa!” he says with panic in his eyes. “What are you doing?!”
He grabs my arms and stares at me in shock.
I have one trick. It worked on Grey, so I try it again on Jacob.
With a grunt, I kick him in the balls as hard as I can.
His eyes widen, his face turns red, and the vein on his temple
gets so big I think it might pop, but he doesn’t let go.
He’s holding his breath as the pain rockets through him. “Ow,” he
finally says. “What was that for?”
“I know what you have planned,” I scream at him, “and I’m not
going to submit! I won’t go down easy!”
“You won’t?” he says, looking like I just stabbed him in the heart.
“But you’re my mate.”
“I’m not your—what?” Did he just say what I think he said? I’m
his mate?
He lets me go and stares down at me with such longing and pain
in his eyes that it breaks me. The need to escape is replaced with an
intense need to sink into his arms and hold him.
But I don’t. He is a psychopath after all.
“Alyssa, we’re mates,” he says softly. “Don’t you feel it?”
I feel something. Something strong and pleasant radiating
through me.
I look up at him with new eyes, open eyes, and see what he
sees. Holy shit, he’s right…
My body urges me to go to him. I feel the pull. We stare at each
other and the connection between us takes hold. I can feel it
building, growing, strengthening with each second I stare into his
beautiful brown eyes.
“You’re a shifter?” I ask in a breathless voice.
He nods slowly. “A Kodiak bear shifter. I’ve been desperately
waiting for you for a long time, Alyssa.” He reaches out and touches
me like he’s touching an angel. “I can’t believe you’re finally here.”
I swallow hard when I feel his warm hand on my cheek. My eyes
fall closed and a moan escapes my throat as he tucks a strand of
hair behind my ear and then drags the back of his fingers down my
neck. A spot under my ear immediately starts tingling. It feels like
it’s missing something… His lips? His teeth? No, that would be crazy.
I push the thought away and try to clear my fuzzy brain. “But
wait a minute,” I say, snapping back to reality. I take a step back.
“What was that talk of killing me on your ranch?”
“What?!” he says with a gasp. He shakes his head, trying to
process my words. “The what?”
“Maybe I misunderstood that part.” I bite my bottom lip as I try
to replay it in my head. “Dicks In Ranch! What about that? You’re
trying to stick your dick in me!”
He laughs and my hands squeeze into fists. How dare he laugh at
me.
“Dixon, not dicks in. It’s my last name. Jacob Dixon.”
He pulls out his driver’s license to show me and I can’t help but
laugh too. Right. I guess that makes more sense.
“But the bloodbath on the ranch! You and your brothers are
going to kill me!”
He shakes his head as he looks at me with sad eyes. “I’m not
going to hurt you, Alyssa. You’re my mate. I was born to protect
you. The bloodbath is concerning those bikers that left when you
arrived. Did you see them?”
I kind of remember something moving in my peripheral vision but
I was so focused on getting the hose out and connected that it
didn’t really register.
He tells me they’re bad wolf shifters who want his family dead.
They’re going to be attacking them in three days.
Just great. I’m mated with a man who has a pack of rabid wolf
shifters after him. Just my luck.
But as I stare at his strong jaw and soft lips, I can’t imagine
being mated to anyone else. I want him. I choose him.
He stood with me back there when that monster Grey wanted my
head and I’ll stand with him. Because that’s what mates do for each
other. And that’s what we are.
I swallow hard as I stare up at him. I’ve never wanted anyone so
badly. Kissing him is all I can think about.
I clear my throat as I stare into his hungry eyes. “One more
question.”
“Anything.”
“You said something about a hotel?”
CHAPTER FIVE

Jacob

M y K odiak grumbles as we stand in the elevator and A lyssa ’ s


intoxicating scent fills the small space. He’s already obsessed with
her and so am I.
My fingers ache with the need to touch her, my body tingles, my
cock throbs. I’m still in shock every time I look over and see her
gorgeous face. She’s a total stunner and I’m already in love.
I can’t wait to know every part of her intimately. Not just her
body, but her mind too. I want to know what she thinks and how
she processes things. I want to know her wants and desires and
then spend the rest of my life trying to fulfill them for her. I’ll be her
everything. I’ll be the man she deserves.
It should be awkward, standing here while the numbers slowly
rise, but it isn’t. Nothing could be more comfortable. Nothing could
feel more right.
I reach out and take her in hand in mine, swallowing it with my
big palm and long fingers. She looks up at me with pink cheeks and
a shy smile. Fuck, she was worth the wait.
Every agonizing second I spent without her was worth what fate
had in store for us. She’s twenty-one and wouldn’t have been ready
before now. It’s all becoming so clear in my mind. I always cursed
the universe and wondered why fate was so cruel as to make me
suffer. Now I know that if I had found a mate sooner, it wouldn’t
have been her. I’m glad I waited. I’m glad it’s her.
“You said you have brothers?” she says in her soft voice that
sends floods of warmth radiating through me.
“Three,” I tell her. “Well, two. Technically. Cameron is the
youngest and Easton is the middle brother. Then there’s Roman. He’s
our cousin, but our fathers were twins and he’s as much a brother as
the other two are.”
“Are they shifters as well?”
I nod my head as I gauge her reaction. Not every girl would be
enthused to be attached to a bear shifter. Especially one who’s being
hunted by a pack of rabid wolf shifters.
“Yeah, we’re all Kodiak bear shifters.”
“Cool,” she says as she stares at me in awe. “I’ve never met a
bear shifter before. At least, I don’t think I have.”
“Are you kidding?” I say with a smile. “All four of your firefighter
friends are shifters.”
“I knew it!” she says with a grin. “What kind of animals are
they?”
“All grizzlies,” I say with a bad taste in my mouth. “Quinton only
hires grizzlies. He doesn’t trust anyone else. Except, maybe for you.”
“I guess I didn’t help change his mind considering I blasted him
in the face with a fire hose after only ten days of work.”
We both laugh. “Fuck that guy,” I say with a grin. “I would have
hit him with a lot worse than that if I could have.”
She smiles shyly at me. “Still. I wish I hadn’t done that. I don’t
want to lose my job. All I’ve ever wanted to be was a firefighter. Do
you know how that feels? To want something so badly?”
“I do. All I ever wanted was to find you.”
Her eyes dart up to mine and the look she gives me makes my
chest ache. “Were you waiting long?”
“Twenty years,” I say with a sigh. “Give or take a few months.”
She looks down at her dirty jumpsuit and nibbles her bottom lip.
“I hope I was worth it.”
“Very much so.”
I step in front of her and take her chin in my hand. I tilt her head
up until she’s looking into my eyes. Her sweet lips part, giving me a
glimpse of her pink tongue and white teeth. I groan. My bear does
too.
I’m just about to lean down and kiss her when the elevator dings
and the doors open.
“It’s our floor,” she says when I don’t move.
I squeeze her hand and pull her out.
We find our room, 612, and before I swipe the keycard, I turn
and take her in my arms. I’m struck once again at how beautiful she
is. I wonder how many times it will take before I look at her and not
have my breath taken away. I’ll probably die before I get that
answer.
Breathless and drunk with desire, I lean down and kiss her soft
mouth. She moans against my tongue as I slip it past her lips and
claim her sweet essence. I knew my mate would taste good, but this
is just to die for.
Her shy hands slide up my hard arms as I deepen the kiss. She’s
standing on her toes, trying to get as much of me as she can. Once
we get into this room, she’ll have as much as me as she can handle.
Maybe even more…
My head is swimming when we finally pull away. She looks so
sweet and innocent in my arms. She’s mine to possess. Mine to own.
We’re mates and that means we were made for one another.
Mind, body, and spirit. We’ll fit together perfectly.
I sink my hands into her long blonde hair and groan as I cup her
head. She tilts her chin up and stares at me with those sexy hazel
eyes. My cock hardens to the point it hurts. I feel wetness all over as
pre-cum oozes out. My balls are so full of cum that it has nowhere
else to go.
I can’t wait to get this bulky jumpsuit off her and explore her
body properly. I’ll love her no matter what, but I really hope she’s
got thick curves and strong legs. I want a girl that won’t break
easily. Who can handle a good pounding.
I don’t want to have to take it easy on her. I want to unleash all
of my desire onto her body and ride her like she was meant to be
ridden.
“Is this really happening?” she whispers. “Or, am I dreaming?”
“If this is a dream, I’m going to wake up and shoot myself,” I tell
her. “I can’t go back to life without you.”
“If it’s a dream, then we better get in there and make the most
of it before we wake up.”
I grin as I watch her sexy face. I like the way she thinks.
The lock clicks open when I swipe the keycard and we head
inside. The room is nothing to write home about, but it’s got a nice
big king-sized bed in the middle of it and that’s all that’s important.
We don’t need anything else.
She stares at the bed for a long moment and then looks at me.
“Are you okay?” I ask her.
She nibbles on her bottom lip, not wanting to tell me.
“I’m your mate, Alyssa. There’s no secrets between us. You can
tell me anything. I won’t judge or think less of you.”
She runs a hand through her blonde hair and the sight is so sexy
that I stumble back into the desk and knock the lamp over.
“Are you okay?” she asks with a chuckle.
“Still in shock,” I say as I fix the lamp. “But yeah. I’ve never been
more okay in all of my life.”
She hesitates for a few seconds and then takes a deep breath
and lets it out. “I’m a virgin.”
I grin. “I know.”
I know, but it’s still nice to hear that she kept that juicy little
pussy all for me.
“What do you mean you know? You can’t know that!”
I step up to her and take her hands in mine. “I know that you’ve
never had feelings for another guy. I know that you wanted to have
crushes on the boys in school like your friends did, but you didn’t. I
know that you’ve probably never been kissed and if you did, you
probably hated it.”
She swallows hard as she stares at me in disbelief. She must
think I’m reading her mind, but in reality, all mates go through the
same thing.
“I never kissed anyone,” she whispers.
“Thank God,” I say with a laugh. “Or, I might have needed to
track the fucker down and break his legs.”
She smiles at me as her cheeks turn pink. I love it when they do
that.
“How do you know all those things? We just met.”
“We’re connected,” I say as I touch my chest and then hers. “We
always have been. Even when you were in your mother’s womb,
your spirit was meant for me. We belong to each other. That’s why
no other guy had any appeal to you. Just like no other woman had
any appeal to me.”
“But you’ve…”
I shake my head. “Never. Not a touch. Not a kiss. Nothing.”
Her eyebrows raise as she stares at me in shock. “Nothing?”
“Nothing. All I want is you.”
Our lips come back together and we kiss each other hard. My
hands start moving down her back, over this rough jumpsuit that
really needs to get off her body and onto the floor. She stiffens when
my palms slide over her ass.
“I need to take a shower,” she says after pulling her sweet mouth
away from mine. “I’m sweaty and dirty and gross.”
“I like sweaty and dirty,” I say with a grin, “and you are the
opposite of gross.”
She places a hand on my chest and pushes away. I hate the
distance between us. So does my bear. He starts pacing around
inside, wanting me to mark her neck.
That’s enough, I warn him. There will be time for that later.
“I have to take a shower,” she says as she glances at the
bathroom. “Can you wait for me?”
“I’ll wait forever for you, my sweet, but please don’t make me
wait too long. Every second is torturous.”
She gives me that sexy grin as she backs away and then turns to
the bathroom. My eyes immediately fall to that ass that’s way too
covered up.
I groan as I wonder what’s waiting for me under there. This is
agony. I want to study every inch of her.
I want to rip off every shred of clothing and spread her legs wide
open.
My bear grumbles. I groan.
All I can think about is seeing that wet little virgin cunt spread
open in front of me.
My heart nearly stops beating as I’m forced to watch her swaying
those big hips on the way to the bathroom. She steps inside and
closes the door.
The thought of her stripping down to nothing behind that flimsy
wooden door has my cock as hard as a fucking rock.
I hope she likes her showers short, or I’m never going to make it.
CHAPTER SIX

Alyssa

M y pussy is burning as I step into the shower . I’ ve never been like


this. So turned on. So full of lust.
I moan as I feel the stickiness between my thighs. It’s all for
Jacob. It’s all for my mate.
Saying it in my head feels so surreal.
“My mate,” I whisper, testing it out on my lips. I break into a
smile, loving how it feels.
The warm water hits me, washing off all the dirt, sweat, and
grime from my long day. I start washing myself with the body wash
the hotel provided and suck in a sharp breath when I see a dark
bruise on my arm.
What’s that from?
There’s another on my shoulder and several all over my legs.
“Oh, right,” I mumble as I start to feel them along with a
soreness in my limbs. I guess jumping out of a moving vehicle will
leave your body with a few bruises.
I can’t believe this is the first time a man will see me naked and I
look like a purple cheetah. This is so embarrassing.
I guess I can dim the lights, or hide under the blankets. I start to
wonder just what that big sexy man out there has planned for me.
A dormant part of me wakes up and is eager to find out.
After I’m nice and clean, the bathroom door slowly opens. I suck
in a sharp breath and stare through the foggy glass shower door as
Jacob walks in.
It’s blurry through the fog and I can only see the outline of his
large frame. I gulp as he pulls his shirt off and drops it on the floor.
I can see the color of skin with splashes of ink, but I can’t see
any details. I can’t see the curve of his muscles or the ridges of his
abs. I can’t see the sexy look in his eyes or the—oh shit, there go his
pants!
I hold my breath and stare with wide unblinking eyes as he pulls
down his boxer briefs and steps out of them.
I have to see this.
I wipe my shaky hand over the glass door and the erotic view of
my mate in his birthday suit appears.
Water slams down on my shoulders as I stare. He’s… incredible.
His chest is wide and powerful with a large tattoo splayed across
it. It continues along his round shoulders and big hard arms,
stopping just above his artfully cut abs. No need to decorate that
stomach, it’s perfect just the way it is.
All that beauty and it’s not even close to being the main
attraction. His long hard cock is standing straight up, taking my
breath away. It’s enormous. Thick, masculine, and dripping with pre-
cum as he stares back at me.
I’m suddenly very self-conscious about my naked body. My
shoulders are too broad. My arms are too big. My legs are like tree
trunks for fuck’s sake. It was always so important for me to be fit
and strong to stand up with the guys in a firefighting unit, but I
never thought about this part of my life. Sex was never a need for
me, so I never really thought about it. Until now.
I wish I had sculpted more of a traditionally feminine form. One
that Jacob would like.
“How’s the water?” he asks in that deep sexy voice of his.
“Warmer than a firehose.”
He grins as he approaches, that big thick cock swaying with each
step. “It’s about to get warmer.”
I swallow hard as he opens the door and runs his dark hungry
eyes all over me. I shiver under his gaze even though the water is
hot. My arms instinctively cover my breasts but he slowly reaches
out and gently pulls them away. I let him.
My breasts tumble down with my nipples achingly hard.
“Fucking hell,” he whispers under his breath when he sees what
no man has seen before. “You’re gorgeous, Alyssa. The most
beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
I’m filled with nervous excitement. My heart is beating so fast.
The self-consciousness I’ve been plagued with melts away when I
see the arousal in his eyes as he looks at me.
“I’m muscly, I know.”
He shakes his head. “You’re perfect is what you are.” His face is
pure awe as he runs his hands over my shoulders and down my
thick arms. The corners of his mouth curl up in a grin like a
fourteen-year-old boy seeing boobs for the first time.
I step back as he steps in. He’s huge and even a strong girl like
me feels small and vulnerable in his towering presence.
His eyes are locked on my wet breasts as he closes the door.
Steam fills the small space. From the hot water? From us? I don’t
know, but the air charges with something fierce as our lustful eyes
meet.
Our mouths come together and suddenly we’re kissing hard and
passionately, our lips communicating all of the intense feelings and
emotions that we don’t have words for.
I slide my tingling hands up his hard muscular chest, feeling my
pussy pulse with heat at the incredible feeling of it. I can feel his
heart beating as hard as mine.
His big hands swallow me up as they run down my arms and
onto my bare breasts. He gives me a glimpse of his power,
squeezing them until I whimper into his mouth.
I can’t believe this is happening. It’s all so fast, but I want it even
faster. I want to feel that long thick cock cumming inside of me. I
want it so badly.
He shifts his hips forward and that big beautiful dick presses
against my stomach. I moan against his tongue when I feel his hot
pre-cum stick to my skin.
This man is my Pandora’s box, opening up a whole new world of
sinfully delicious thoughts and actions. I won’t ever be able to put
them back. My innocence is gone. It’s all his now.
He pulls his mouth away from mine and groans as I wrap my
fingers around his shaft and give it a squeeze.
“Does it hurt?” I ask, loosening my grip.
His big hand quickly wraps around mine. He closes my hand back
around his meaty shaft and shakes his head. “You can’t hurt me,
baby. Be as rough with my cock as you want.”
We both watch as I start sliding my hand up and down. The
water is making it all slick and wet and so damn tempting.
It’s so big that I add my other hand to the party. His breaths are
coming out harder and rougher, that big monstrous chest heaving up
and down between us. He seems to like it and the thought of me
turning this alpha male on turns me on even more.
I run my thumb over his big swollen head, spreading his pre-cum
all over it. The annoying water washes it off, but more bubbles up
from the tiny slit.
He holds his breath as he watches me bring my finger to my
mouth and suck his seed off my dripping fingertip. It tastes so sweet
and salty. So masculine. So scandalous.
“You like touching your man’s big dick?” he asks in a deep
throaty voice.
I swallow hard as I nod up and down, still stroking his hard cock.
I don’t want to take my hands off it.
“You keep doing that and I’m going to cum all over you.”
The thought of having more of his warm seed all over my hands
and stomach and breasts makes me crazy with desire. I don’t even
know how to do it, but I’m desperate to find out.
I stroke his cock harder with both hands as he grins down at me.
“Looks like you want me to cum all over you.”
“Yes,” I gasp. “I want to see it. I want to feel it.”
We both watch as my hands work, twisting and sliding up his
powerful shaft. His groans get deeper, more desperate.
I know he’s close, so I squeeze a little harder, move a little faster.
His big hands cup the back of my head, holding me as he’s about
to blow.
My arms are aching, my shoulders burning, but I don’t stop. I go
harder, desperate to see how much cum this man has made for me.
He grits his teeth and lets out a roar. A second of delay and then
I feel his cock jolt in my hand and watch in wonder as thick streams
of his cum shoot up between us.
Stream after stream of hot seed soars up and lands on my naked
breasts, on my stomach, my hands, my arms. It goes everywhere
and keeps coming.
He stumbles back into the tiled wall and groans as his legs
weaken. I don’t waste any time and start licking his delicious cum off
my hands. This was supposed to pleasure him, so why am I enjoying
it so damn much?
I turn away from the flow of water and rub his seed all over my
tits, loving the sticky feeling of being coated in him. I massage it
onto my erect nipples until they’re so hard they feel like they’re
going to burst.
Jacob never takes his eyes off me. He’s staring at me like he’s
never seen anything so beautiful, so tempting, so fuckable.
With a growl, he comes forward like a man on a mission. I’m
already turned away from the water, facing the tiles. He pushes me
up against them and drops to his knees.
I gasp when I feel his big strong hands on my ass. He spreads
my cheeks apart and dives in, devouring my hot pussy in a frenzy.
I scream out when his tongue hits. It’s like warm electricity that I
never expected to be so intense. Intense and unexpected and knee-
weakening.
It’s all I can focus on. My breasts and palms are pressed against
the cold tile, my mouth open, my breath lodged somewhere in my
throat. I can’t even scream as his mouth covers my cunt and his
tongue slides through my folds. It’s everywhere. Around my clit, in
my virgin hole, up, down, sideways, around. The pleasure consumes
me.
His hot skilled tongue slides up between my cheeks and he
tongues my asshole as I finally find my voice and cry out.
“Spread your legs wider,” he growls, and I obey. I move my foot
and bend my back, sticking my ass out as he descends back onto my
pussy. He devours me as I press my forehead against the tiles, his
sticky seed still coating my breasts and stomach.
This is the most erotic moment of my life. I can’t believe how
good it feels. How it’s possible for a man to make me feel like this.
Little whimpers escape my mouth and it drives him on more. His
mouth intensifies on my pussy. His tongue moves faster, his hands
squeeze my ass harder. I’m so close to bursting.
“You taste so fucking good,” he growls between licks. “I’m going
to suck on this pussy every day of my life.”
The water pounds onto my back as he wraps his lips around my
clit. I suck in a breath and squeeze my hands into fists as I feel an
orgasm coming.
My insides tighten. I can’t breathe. He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t
give me a breath. That tongue is relentless. It’s merciless. It’s so
fucking good.
When it hits, it hits hard. I throw my head back and scream out
in bliss as the orgasm tears through my body in a heated blaze.
Jacob wraps his big arms around my shaking thighs and holds
my pussy against his mouth as I cum all over him.
He laps up the fresh juices I give him as I cry out at the top of
my lungs. Tears stream down my cheeks. I dig my forehead against
the tiles and grit my teeth. It’s so fucking intense. The billowing heat
doesn’t stop.
Until it does. It slowly recedes and I catch my breath. The
tightness in my body turns to trembles as I sink against the wall,
Jacob’s powerful arms the only thing holding me up.
My cries turn to whimpers and the intense heat turns to a warm
glow as my mate softly licks my engorged cunt.
“Jacob…” I moan, unable to find any more words.
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Title: Kaunis Saksa


Sarja saksalaista lyriikkaa

Translator: Uuno Kailas

Release date: August 30, 2023 [eBook #71524]

Language: Finnish

Original publication: Porvoo: WSOY, 1924

Credits: Tuula Temonen

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK KAUNIS


SAKSA ***
KAUNIS SAKSA

Sarja saksalaista lyriikkaa

Runot valinnut ja kääntänyt

UUNO KAILAS

Porvoossa, Werner Söderström Osakeyhtiö, 1924

OTTO MANNISELLE,
suomentajamestarille
kunnioituksella omistettu.

SISÄLLYS:

Wolfgang von Goethe


Prometheus.
Friedrich Hölderlin
Hyperionin kohtalolaulu.
Illassa.
Joseph von Eichendorff
Lapseni kuoltua
Ludwig Uhland
Hyvä ystävä
Kievarin tytär
Heinrich Heine
Ylösnousemuspäivänä.
Rouva Suru
Paul Heyse
Maailmanarvoitus.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Yksinäinen.
Carl Spitteler
Isä.
Otto Julius Bierbaum
Yön hetkin hiljaisin.
Detlev von Liliencron
Eräälle vainajalle.
Ennen hälinää.
Suuressa kaupungissa.
Viimeinen tahto.
Richard Dehmel
Merenkäyntiä.
Hermann Hesse
Musta ritari.
Hugo von Hofmannsthal
Elämys.
Otto Erich Hartleben
Kuihtunut lehti.
Seikkailija.
Laulu elämästä.
Frank Wedekind
Laulu lapsiparasta.
Peter Altenberg
Mitä hän voi tehdä hänen tähtensä.
Pelko.
Carl Hauptmann
Kallioääniä.
Max Dauthendey
Sun silmäs hiljaiset.
Syväss’ astumme hiekassa.
Harmaat enkelit.
Gustav Schu¨ler
Ilta.
Franz Evers
Nuoruus.
Christian Morgenstern
Lintu Synkkämieli.
Metsän yössä.
Rainer Maria Rilke
Syksy.
Alfred Mombert
Puutarhassa.
Perhonen.
Meren pohjassa lepäsin.
Kuun tahi auringon nähden.
Else Lasker-Schu¨ler
Me kaksi.
Albert Ehrenstein
Vaeltajan laulu.
Epätoivo.
Franz Werfel
Puhtauden rukous.
Johannes Becher
Mielipuoli.
Walter Hasenclever
Kuolinilmoitus.
ESIPUHE.

En kuvittele käännössarjani kykenevän edes vähäisessäkään


määrässä kuvastamaan saksalaisen Iyriikan yleistä kehitystä:
pisarahan voisi kertoa kovin vähän valtamerestä. Runojen valintaa
eivät niin sanoakseni kirjallisuushistorialliset näkökohdat olekaan
sanottavasti sitoneet. Ensinnäkin olen varonut kajoamasta sellaisiin
runoihin, joita paraskaan käännös ei voisi edes lähennellä lyyrilliseen
pitoisuuteen nähden — mielestäni ei ole oikeutettua siirtää
suomenkieleen kuortakaan, jos kerran ydin valuu pois. Niinpä onkin
monta runoilijanimeä, joiden paikka oikeudella olisi saksalaista
lyriikkaa sisältävän antologian lehdillä, saattanut jäädä kokonaan
pois tästä valikoimasta. Goethen runoja en ole ryhtynyt kääntämään
siitä syystä että toisella taholla parhaillaan valmisteltaneen uutta
Goethe- valikoimaa; kuitenkin olen ottanut mukaan
»Prometheuksen, entisten käännösten pohjalla laadittuna
sovittelukokeena. Edelleen sisältyy tähän sarjaan ylimalkaan vain
uudempaa, tämän ja viime vuosisadan runoutta: tunnoiltaan meitä
ajankohtaisesti läheisemmin koskettavana. Koska toivon voivani
tuonnempana julkaista uuden valikoiman nimenomaan kaikkein-
nuorinta maailmanlyriikkaa, olen tällä kertaa vain niukasti ottanut
mukaan saksalaista ekspressionistista runoutta. Vaikka valitsemani
runot eivät aina olisikaan edustavimpia tekijöilleen, enempää kuin
saksalaiselle lyriikallekaan — siitä huolimatta, että useimmat niistä
sisältyvät arvokkaimpiin saksalaisiin antologioihin —, ei
käännössarjani silti välttämättömästi tarvinne jäädä lukijalle
vähemmän satoisaksi kuin jokin ankarasti »edustava»
käännösvalikoima. Sivutarkoituksitta puhtaasti lyyrillisenä sarjana se
on kenties vain voittanutkin siitä: kun olen valinnut käännettäväni
omia mieltymyksiäni tai mielijohteitani noudattaen, on
mieskohtaisesti läheinen suhteeni originaaliin päässyt lämmittämään
monta käännöstä. Tiedän hyvin, että moni kaunis kimallus on jäänyt
tämän kirjan lehdille — niinkuin tiedän senkin, että moni yhtä kaunis
kimallus on valunut läpi sormieni antamatta vangita itseään.

Mitä puhtaasti suoritukselliseen puoleen tulee, olen käännöksissä


luonnollisesti varonut runojen tunnearvojen polkemista. Suomalaisen
asun joustavuus on mielestäni ollut tärkeämpää kuin originaalin
turhantarkka noudattaminen. Parissa tapauksessa, jolloin runon
ydintä ei ole voinut pahoin silpomatta puristaa originaalin rytmiin,
olen turvautunut jonkunverran muunnettuun säerakennelmaan —
mikä määrätyillä edellytyksillä yleensä katsottaneenkin sallituksi.

Kaiken kaikkiaan uskallan toivoa, että tämäkin vähäinen


käännössarja — vaikka onkin vain pisara suuren meren vettä — vie
suomalaisen lukijan askeleen lähemmäksi sitä Saksaa, jota mikään
sorron kuolemanrengas ei voi tuhota: saksalaista ihmissydäntä sen
puhtaimmissa sykähdyksissä — lähemmäksi Kaunista Saksaa.

Helsinki, joulukuussa 1923.

Uuno Kailas.
WOLFGANG VON GOETHE (1749-
1832)

PROMETHEUS

Taivahas peitä, Zeus, sumupilvihin ja voimaasi niinkuin poika,


joka ohdakkeita katkoo, koe tammihin ja vuorten huippuihin.
Siten järkytä sentään et maatani minun, et majaani minun, jot’
et kattanut sinä, et liettäni minun, jonka loimotuksen
kademielin näet.

En auringon alla tunne kurjempaa kuin te, jumalat! Niukasti


ruokitte uhriveroilla, rukousten hengellä majesteettianne ja
nääntyisitte nälkään, elleivät lapset ja kerjurit houkkina toivois
vielä. Kun olin lapsi enkä tietänyt kättäni pitemmälle, eksynyt
katseeni kääntyi päivän puoleen, kuin olis siellä itkuni kuuleva
korva, sydän kuin minun, joka ahdistettua säälii.

Kuka auttoi mua titaanien väkivaltaa vastaan? Kuka


kuolosta pelasti minut ja orjuudesta? Tätä kaikkea etkö sä itse
tehnyt, pyhä, hehkuva sydän? Ja nuorena, hyvänä, petettynä
kiitosta hehkunut etkö pilvissä-nukkujalle?
Sua kunnioittaa? Miksi? Liensitkö koskaan tuskia
raskautetun? Pyyhitkö koskaan kyyneltä ahdistetun? Minust'
eikö takonut miestä kaikkivaltias aika, iankaikkinen kohtalo
myös, minun herrani, Zeus, ja sinun? Luuletko ehkä: mun
pitäisi elämää vihata, erämaahan paeta, kun eivät kaikki
unelmat kypsyneet?

Tässä istun, teen ihmisiä oman kuvani mukaan, suvun


kaltaiseni, kärsimään, itkemään, nauttimaan, riemuitsemaan,
sua ylenkatsomaan kuin minä!
FRIEDRICH HÖLDERLIN (1770-1843)

HYPERIONIN KOHTALOLAULU

Ylhäällä valossa kuljette vienoilla kentillä, henget autuaat!


Jumal-ilmat väikkyvät koskevat otsaanne hiljaa niinkuin
soittajan sormet kieliä pyhiä.

Vailla kohtaloa, lailla nukkuvan rintalapsen henkivät


taivahiset, puhtaina säilyneet ujojen nuppujen suojassa.
Henkensä heidän iäti kukkiva on, ja silmien autuaitten syvä
katse tulvii iankaikkista, hiljaista kirkkautta.

Mutta ei meille missään rauhan sijaa suotu. Kärsivät


ihmiset hukkuvat, putoavat suin päin, sokkoina hetkestä
toiseen hetkeen kuin vesi putoaa kallionkieleltä kallionkielelle
tuntemattoman syliin.

ILLASSA
Jo laske, armas aurinko. Tunteneet he eivät sua, palvoen
pyhyyttäs: Sä oothan siivin vaivattomin raskautettujen yli
noussut.

Mä nousus, laskus näin, Valo, lempeät,


tää silmä sinut ymmärsi, ihanin!
Mä opin suuren palvomisen:
joi sydän lääkettä Diotiman.

Sua, taivaan sanansaattaja, kuuntelen,


sua, Diotima! Rakkaus, luotas sun
päin päivän kultaa silmä tämä
kiittäen kääntyi! Ja iloisemmin

nyt solisivat lähtehet, kukkien ol’ ihanampi, armaampi


hengitys, ja kultapilvist’ alas satoi siunaus eetterin, niinkuin
hymy.
JOSEPH VON EICHENDORFF (1788-
1857)

KAKSI RUNOA SIKERMÄSTÄ »LAPSENI


KUOLTUA»

Kevätvälkkeessä ulkona leikkii lapsonen. Sata seikkaa


nähtävää, kukin riemuun johtaa: joet virtaavat, kedot laajat
hohtaa. Näki illan katsovan takaa lehmusten. Kuvat kauniit
kaikki se katse himmentää. Ylt’ympäri kaikki niin äänettömäks
jää. Ja on kuin laaksoissa nyt sävel hiljaa soisi, kuin
maanpiirin tään ikävällä se vyöttää voisi; värit kuihtuvat, kaikki
on kelmeää.

Laps hämmästyy: mitä onkaan tää? Uni ruohojen soitossa


nyt hänet yllättää; käsin kylmin kukkaset koskevat sydämeen,
hymyhuulin hän nääntyy tuskaan suloiseen. Pyhä, kaunis
maa, emo kalpea, hiljainen suo pienelle suuta ja vie liki
sydäntään, ei koskaan päästä hänt’ enää sylistään, tilan laatii
lapselle pehmeän, lämpöisen luo kukkien, sammalen. –
»Isä, äiti, miks tähteni itkettekään? Olen saapunut puistoon
kimmeltävään; suur’ on se ja laaja ja ihmeellinen, helo täällä
on kukkien kultaisten, somat lapset lentävät, siipiä väikkyy
joka suunnalla, lauluja ilma läikkyy. – Kevätpäiviltä mulle ne
tuttuja on, ne lens yli laaksojen, vuoriston, ne taivaalta huuteli
hilpein suin alas puistoon, jossa mä uneksuin. – Ja keskellä
kukkien kuultavaisten käy kaunein parvesta kaikkien naisten,
käy kaunis lapsonen rinnoillaan. – Soperrella en saata, en
itkeä saata, minä laulan vain, minä en voi laata, yhä riemulla
katselen vaan.»

***

Lyö tornikello jossain, ja yö on pohjaton, niin himmeä on


lamppu. Sun vuotees valmis on.

Ylt’ ympärillä talon


käy tuulet valittain.
Siell’ istumme me yksin
ja kuuntelemme vain.

On kuin sun täytyis tulla


ja oveen koputtaa,
kuin eksyksistä lapsi
taas taaton luokse saa.

Me hupsut, hupsut raukat! Yön tuska ankarin meit’ yhä


harhaan johtaa – sä pääsit kotihin.
LUDWIG UHLAND (1787-1862)

HYVÄ YSTÄVÄ

Oli ystävä mulla kerran, oli parhain päällä maan. Kun rummut
soi sotateillä, sama ain’ oli tahti meillä, hänen astuin
rinnallaan.

Tuli lentäen luoti jostain


mun, sunko se kutsuu pois?
Hänet vihki se rauhaan suureen;
hän vaipui jalkaini juureen
kuin itsestäin osa ois.

Käden kurkoittaa hän mulle, kun tähtään pyssylläin. En voi


minä kättäni antaa; päin ikuisen rauhan rantaa käy, ystävä,
viereltäin!

KIEVARIN TYTÄR
Jano kulkureill’ oli. Poikettiin
siis Reinin varrella kievariin.

»Hoi, muori, on olves oivaa, vai –?


Tytär myöskin sulla on kaunis kai?»

»Olut, viini on mainio kerrassaan,


tytär ainoa nukkuu paareillaan.»

Ja muori kulkurit nuoret nuo


vie tyttären mustan arkun luo.

Hikiliinaa heist’ eräs kohottaa


ja katsoo, mies surun-synkäks saa:

»Ah, päivästä tästä, jos kuollut et ois,


sua rakastamatta en olla vois!»

Pani toinen liinan paikoilleen


ja purskahti itkuun hiljaiseen:

»Voi, armas, että sä kuolitkin!


Sua monta vuotta jo rakastin.»

Mut kolmas ja nuorin kulkuri tuo,


hän on kalpea, neidolle suuta suo:

»Rakas ollut oot, rakas vieläkin,


iankaikkisuudessa rakkahin.»
HEINRICH HEINE (1799-1856)

YLÖSNOUSEMUSPÄIVÄNÄ

Ah armahin, kun jo arkussas sinä pimeässä nukut, minä


astuva oon alas hautahas, minun hyväilyihini hukut.

Sinun huulias hulluna suutelen,


tomu kylmä ja mykkä sinä!
Minä nauran ja itken ja vapisen,
tomu koht’ olen myöskin minä.

Sydänyöllä kun nurmen nukkujain


käy karkelo ylitse hautain,
me kaksi, me jäämme multaan vain
ja väliin samojen lautain.

Ja kun tuomiopäivänä kutsutaan kaikk’ kuollehet


mättähistään, sylityksin me jäämme nukkumaan. Me
piittaisimmeko mistään!
ROUVA SURU

Iloss’ onnen päivien kirkkaimpain elo kävi kuin hyttystanssi


vain. Monet ystävät mull’ oli rakkahat, kuin veljet he kanssani
jakoivat niin pöytäni parhaat herkut kuin markkanikin, nämä
serkut.

On onni ja viini haihtunut, ovat poissa ystävät kaivatut; jo


sammui päivänpaistehet, ovat hyttystanssit kuollehet. Pois
häipyvät hyttyset, veikot, kun tulevat murheen peikot.

Yön tuulet nurkissani soi,


Suru vuodettani vartioi.
Näen hällä viitan valkean,
yömyssyn ja nuuskarasian;
se narisee hirveästi,
Suru nyökkää ilkeästi.

Minä unta näin: tuli takaisin taas onneni päivin keväisin, tuli
ystävät, hyttystanssi, oi – naris silloin rasia – hitto soi! Unet
eivät kimmellä enää – Suru-vanhus niistää nenää.

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