1.

2. "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how
much they love me." — Michael Scott
3. "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they
would, I do not do that thing." — Dwight Schrute
4. "I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."
— Michael Scott
5. "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year." — Dwight
Schrute
6. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I
find it along the way. Like an improv conversation." — Michael Scott
7. "One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway...I
wonder who he ran over then." — Jim Halpert
8. "I understand nothing." — Michael Scott
9. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left
them." — Andy Bernard
10. "I am Beyoncé, always." — Michael Scott
11. "I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out..." — Kelly Kapoor
12. "Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." — Andy Bernard
13. "I'm not superstitious...but I'm a little stitious." — Michael Scott
14. "If I don't have some cake soon, I might die." — Stanley Hudson
15. "I am faster than 80 percent of all snakes." — Dwight Schrute
16. “I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda
hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.” — Pam Beesly
17. "I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise, and I have worms." — Michael
Scott
18. "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica." — Jim Halpert (pretending to be Dwight)
19. "I consider myself a good person...but I'm gonna try to make him cry." — Oscar
Martinez
20. "The worst thing about prison was the Dementors." — Prison Mike
21. "Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are just too flashy. So I'm forced to go to the
American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls." — Angela Martin
22. "Dwight mercy-killed Angela’s cat." — Pam Beesley
23. "Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower.
Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with
 my car. So sue me...no, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying
to make." — Michael Scott
24. "I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try." —
Jim Halpert
25. "I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to." — Ryan
Howard
26. "Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick?" — Kevin Malone
27. "I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday." — Michael Scott
28. "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to
be liked. But it’s not like, this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be
praised." — Michael Scott
29. "Oh, you’re paying way too much for worms, man. Who’s your worm guy?" — Creed
Bratton
30. "I’m glad Michael’s getting help. He has a lot of issues, and he’s stupid." — Phyllis
Vance
31. "I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all. And it’s terrible." — Michael Scott
32. "You guys I’m, like, really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me, 'Kelly,
what’s the biggest company in the world?' And I’d be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah
blah blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer." — Kelly Kapoor
33. "When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be
right about that." — Pam Beesley
34. "Yeah, I have a lot of questions. First of all: How dare you?" — Kelly Kapoor
35. "I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo." — Angela Martin
36. "Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?" — Kelly
Kapoor
37. "I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more
fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader." — Creed Bratton
38. "Sometimes I get so bored, I just want to scream. And then sometimes, I actually do
scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for." — Kelly Kapoor
39. "If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What am I working toward?" —
Creed Bratton
40. "Dwight, you ignorant slut." — Michael Scott
41. “I am a black belt in gift wrapping.” — Jim Halpert
42. "Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout." — Phyllis Vance
43. "Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this
disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton." — Creed Bratton
44. "Tell ya one thing, I’m not gonna be a good mom tonight." — Meredith
45. "Boy, have you done lost your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it!" — Stanley Hudson
46. "I stopped caring a long time ago." — Creed Bratton
47. “I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.” — Dwight
Schrute
48. “I wanna do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not enough to make a big deal out of it,
but I know everyone saw it. Just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.” — Creed Bratton
49. “It’s true. Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But
the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings,
I’m going to die.” — Stanley Hudson
50. “And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” — Pam Beesley
51. “I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.” — Angela Martin
52. “I got six numbers. One more, and it would have been a complete phone number.” —
Kevin Malone
53. “PowerPoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.” — Dwight
Schrute
54. “Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice...strike three.” — Michael Scott
55. “I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.” — Phyllis Vance
56. “How is it possible that in five years, I’ve had two engagements and only one chair?”
— Pam Beesley
57. “Who is Justice Beaver?” — Dwight Schrute
58. “I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.” — Angela Martin
59. “I say dance, they say, ‘How high?'” — Michael Scott
60. “Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn’t seem to realize that it wasn’t his hot
coffee. So, the question has to be asked: Is there no limit to what he won’t notice?” —
Jim Halpert
61. “I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A, baby. And as backup, I have a
Swiss passport.” — Creed Bratton
62. “I’m fast. To give you a reference point. I’m somewhere between a snake and a
mongoose. And a panther.” — Dwight Schrute
63. “The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for?
Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. Because that’s what you’d have to be to own it. And as
one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.” — Oscar Martinez
64. “A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was um,
he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and um, we all took it really hard.”
— Ryan Howard
65. “Well, this is what happened. Ryan’s big project was the website, which wasn’t doing
so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as office
sales and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as
'misleading the shareholders.' Another good term is 'fraud.' The real crime, I think,
was the beard.” — Oscar Martinez
66. “Oh, I don’t think it’s blackmail. Angela just does what I ask her to do, so I won’t tell
everyone that she’s cheating on Andy with Dwight. I think for it to be blackmail, it
would have to be a formal letter.” — Phyllis Vance
67. “You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away?
The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from, but you have to
stare at it because your boss is making you.” — Pam Beesley
68. “Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s old job. Which means at my 10-year high
school reunion, it will not say ‘Ryan Howard is a temp.’ It will say, ‘Ryan Howard is a
junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.’ That’ll show ’em.” — Ryan
Howard
69. “Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a
decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live
there. And there’s a button that I can press, and launch that lighthouse into space.” —
Stanley Hudson
70. “I’m guessing Angela is the one in the neighborhood that gives the trick-or-treaters
toothbrushes. Pennies. Walnuts.” — Pam Beesley
71. “If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear
the other dead people.” — Dwight Schrute
72. "I mean, I’m not a slut, but, who knows!" — Kelly Kapoor
73. “News flash: You are not special.” — Stanley Hudson
74. “Mind if I steal my wife?” — Bob Vance
75. “Should have burned this place down when I had a chance.” — Michael Scott
76. “Don’t worry about Phil. He drives a Corvette, he's doing just fine." — Michael Scott
77. “I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a...carpenter that makes stairs.” — Andy
Bernard
78. “I kinda know what it’s like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to
be Kool-Aid Man.” — Kevin Malone
79. “Today, smoking is going to save lives.” — Dwight Schrute
80. “Ain’t no party like a Scranton party cause a Scranton party don’t stop!” — Michael
Scott
81. “Rit-dit-dit-do-doo!” — Andy Bernard
82. “Let me show you how a real man walks a flaccid cord.” — Dwight Schrute
83. “Michael is leaving. And apparently, they’ve already hired a new manager. And we’re
meeting him today! It’s a lot to process — paperwork-wise.” — Oscar Martinez
84. “I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go
sit in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid
for… that is the life.” — Stanley Hudson
85. “The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and I crush it.”
— Kevin Malone
86. “I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.” —
Michael Scott
87. “Who’s the one who didn’t bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure, I gave everybody
pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah, I BMed in the shredder
on New Year's. But I didn’t bring the lice in. That was all Pam.” — Meredith
88. “Why are you the way that you are?” — Michael Scott
89. “Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.” — Bob Vance
90. “So you’ve come to the master for guidance? Is this what you’re saying, grasshopper?”
— Michael Scott
91. “Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be
my career. And, uh, well if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a
train.” — Jim Halpert
92. “I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows
like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and
the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.” — Michael Scott
93. “When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs.
Only one to go.” — Creed Bratton
94. “Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.” — Michael Scott
95. “We didn’t play many video games in Scranton. Instead, we’d do stuff like… uh, Pam
and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to
make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it 'Pretendinitus.'” —
Jim Halpert
96. “I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school
that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But
on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day.” — Stanley Hudson
97. “Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are
un-understandable.” — Michael Scott
98. “I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She’s
hypoallergenic. She doesn’t struggle when you try to dress her. She’s a
third-generation show cat. Her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say, she
was very, very expensive.” — Angela Martin
99. “There are always a million reasons not to do something.” — Jan Levinson
100. “I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.” — Michael Scott
101. “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” — Pam
Beesly