1

Ben
When I was born,my parents took one look at my tiny infant self and decided to name me
Beauregard Bedford Bentley. The Second.

Honestly, nothing they did after that point should have shocked me, and yet… I continued to find
myself stunned by my mother’s actions.

Like this email she had just sent me. She was describing a ‘very lovely’ girl to me. High marriage
potential, in her words.

Under normal circumstances, this would have been a little weird. The fact that I’d come out to
my mother eight years ago made it totally weird.

Sadly, though, it was nothing out of the ordinary for my family.

I closed the email app on my phone and swiped over to my messenger app instead. “Mom’s
doing it again,” I texted my sister.

My sister, Charlie, didn’t take long to respond. “Has she found another wife for you?”

I replied with a weary looking smiley instead of text. At least I had Charlie to confide in, even if
she was the catalyst for most of my current troubles. She was getting married next week, at a
tropical island resort, and of course I was expected to be there. Me and all the rest of the family.

“Why do you have to get married on an island?” I texted Charlie, knowing she’d take the jab the
way it was intended.

"It'll be fun," she wrote back, but I ignored the way my phone lit up in favor of the sketchpad in
my lap. My plan for tonight had been to draw, until I’d gotten distracted by my mother’s email.

One upside of my family’s insanity? They’d somehow managed to turn it into money. My parents
had bought this apartment for me to live in when I went off to college. A high-rise in the city, very
modern, very classy, very little personality. I liked it okay, but I loved the view. The way I’d
positioned the couch in the living room, I had a perfect view out of the floor-to-ceiling windows
that made up the wall opposite me. From up here on the 10th floor, the downtown area of the
city below looked absolutely spectacular, with all the rooftops tinted in gold and every piece of
glass reflecting the orange rays of the dying sun.

Sunset was my absolute favorite time of the day. I wanted to immortalize it in my sketchpad.

Except my phone kept vibrating.

"You realize that you can't not come, right?"

I sighed and texted back. "Of course I'll be there." It was my sister's wedding after all. She was
going to get married to her sweetheart of five years. I was happy for her.

But that didn't mean I had to look forward to the event. Events organized by my family were
always… special.

For my eighth birthday, all my party guests got small complimentary rolls of birthday cake
scented toilet paper to take home. No one had commented about how weird that was, but only
because all my guests had been paid to attend since I had exactly zero social skills and just as
many friends.

"It's my wedding," my sister texted. "Mom's attention will be on me, not you."

"Lucky you," I gave back.

She sent a frowny emoji, then one that stuck its tongue out. Yeah, Charlie wanted Mom's
attention just as much as I did.

"Has she already picked out a date for me?" I asked.

Three dots appeared on the screen as Charlie typed. Already, I was dreading the answer. Ever
since I'd hit sixteen five years ago, our mother had been adamant that I needed to have a date
for every special occasion. 'As a young gentleman, you should keep good company,’ she would
say. Then she'd remind me that the way I behaved and presented myself in public would reflect
back on our family. At all times. So she always found me a nice girl who didn't mind being my
date for a night.

It was always awkward as fuck.

Maybe this time it would be the lady she’d mentioned in that email?

"She's been thinking about asking that Borner girl," Charlie texted. "Don't know if she has yet.
Last time she called I just put the phone away after thirty minutes of her ramblings."

I grimaced, even though my sister couldn't see me. I wasn't sure who the Borner girl was, but I
didn't think I wanted to know either.

Something cold and wet nudged my hand and made me smile. Toto. "You want me to pet you,
buddy?"

Toto was a gorgeous Jack Russel terrier that I'd picked up at the shelter only about two months
ago. I'd gone to drop off a lost cat I'd found, but then he'd looked at me with those big eyes
and... well, now I was owned by two pets. Toto, and the cat, whose original owner could never
be located. Miss Daisy, as I'd named the cat, was currently sleeping on the couch next to me,
while Toto lay by my feet, alternating between staring out the window and demanding pets.

My phone vibrated once more. "You should bring your own date to the wedding."

"Yeah, sure," I texted back. "I'll just find Mr. Right within the next two weeks, no problem."

"You can settle for Mr. Right Now, you know."

I rolled my eyes at the phone. You'd think my sister would know me well enough to know I
wasn't going to find a date in time for the wedding. I cut her some slack, though, because at
least she wasn't ignoring my sexual orientation outright, the way the rest of the family did.

Another text came in. "Imagine Mom's face if you showed up with a guy, though. I would pay to
see that. Can we pay someone to go with you?"

"You mean the way mom paid my friends to play with me?"

"Ugh, sorry, stupid idea. But come on. They can't keep denying it if they see you make out with
a dude for once."

"Gotta go now," I texted. "Dinner's ready." Yes, that was a lie, but I wanted to be done with this
conversation. Turning the phone’s vibration off, I set it aside.

Did I want to 'make out with a dude for once'? Hell yes, but I wasn't just gonna... what? Go to
the nearest bar and grab someone?

How did people get dates?

I glanced at my phone again. There was that Grindr thing. Was that appropriate for situations
like this?

No, most of the people on there wouldn't want to attend a week of wedding fun with me. Even if
that wedding took place at an exclusive resort in the Caribbean because my family had more
money than sense.

It was all stupid. I'd just have to give my mom a piece of my mind if she showed up with yet
another date for me. No way could I pretend to be into a girl for a week straight. She couldn't
expect that of me. Never mind that it wouldn’t be fair to the woman either.

Picking my pencil up again, I went back to sketching. Only it wasn't the cityscape I found myself
drawing. I drew myself the perfect date instead. Lean muscles, toned body, kind eyes and one
hundred percent male. One hundred percent gay too. I smiled at my creation.
If only...

I sighed to myself—and then I jumped when I heard the sound of a key turning in the door to my
apartment. Was Evan coming back already? Shit, shit, shit.

Quickly, I shoved my sketchpad under the TV guide on the coffee table, hoping that my
roommate wasn't in the mood for TV tonight.

As soon as Evan entered the room, Toto ran to him, barking his head off in greeting. I was
willing to bet you could hear him all the way down on the first floor. We were still working on
that... In spite of his size, Toto really wanted to be a guard dog.

I tried telling him to quit it, but he was too excited to listen to me.

“Wow, that’s a yappy little dog.”

I looked up at the unfamiliar voice. A woman in a low-cut red dress had entered the room behind
Evan. She was gorgeous with her big eyes and her long hair. Even as a gay guy, I could see
that she was a perfect match for my roommate, who was just as handsome in his own right with
his dimples and his tattoos and his eye-catching green hair and his--

Okay, I had to stop.

I did not have the hots for my straight roommate.

How sad would that be?

"Toto, stop," I said again, weakly, if only to say anything at all. Because just standing there
staring at Evan and his girl was also pretty sad.

He just gets excited.” Evan knelt down to pet Toto. “Hey, little buddy. You miss me?” Toto barked
two more times, then quieted. He’d taken a real shine to Evan.

I couldn't blame him. The other day, I’d walked in on him exercising in only his shorts and when I
snuck out again before he could see me I’d had to be careful not to slip on my own drool.

But only because I hadn't gotten any action in... ever. Was it any wonder that the sight of naked
skin got me worked up?

Especially if that skin was covered in the kind of tattoos I wanted to trace with my tongue. An
Asian dragon snaking up his left bicep, colorful koi fish above his heart, a wolf head on his right
shoulder blade…

"Ben?" Evan cocked an eyebrow at me and I realized that I'd missed what he was saying.
"Uh... yeah?" God, I had to be coming across like a total idiot to his new girlfriend, if she was his
girlfriend, which I hoped she wasn't because--

Jesus Christ, Ben, stop. Just stop.

"This is Angelica," Evan introduced the girl. "I hope it's cool with you that I brought her over? I
know I should have asked, but..." He shrugged. "We can go catch a movie or something if you
need the place to yourself."

"No, I uh... I was just sketching."

Damn it, why had I said that? Now they'd want to see what I'd been drawing.

"You're an artist?" Angelica asked. I could her interest was feigned, though. She gave me a
whole two seconds of her attention before her gaze was glued to Evan once more.

Again, couldn't blame her.

"Sort of," I said. "Not really." I stepped aside so she and Evan could walk past me into the living
room. On the couch, Miss Daisy had sat up to scowl at our visitor.

"Oh, what a cute cat," Angelica purred.

"Careful," Evan said. "She's the devil."

"Only if you pat her when she doesn't want to be patted," I threw in.

"Which is literally right after she exposes her belly to you to ask for tummy rubs," Evan said. "It's
a trap."

As much as I wanted to defend my cat's honor, I couldn't disagree with that. I sat on the couch
next to Miss Daisy and scratched her behind her ear. She gracefully allowed the touch. "She's
really not so bad." I glanced at Angelica. "You can pet her if you want to." At least the topic had
been diverted from my sketches. So far so good. Evan would likely take the girl back to his room
in a minute, and then I could take the sketchpad and retreat to safety.

It was a solid plan.

Until that fateful thud as something smacked into the window. Immediately, guilt prickled the
back of my neck.

Evan groaned. "Not again."

I turned to look at the balcony. Sure enough, there was a dazed bird on the ground. The second
one this month. "I really need to get those stickers for the window," I murmured.

The upside of spotless floor-to-ceiling windows? Breathtaking views.

The downside? Birds just kept zooming into it.

I jumped from the couch and opened the balcony door to check on the poor thing who'd just
crash-landed. It was a small dove, wings tucked in and looking absolutely miserable on the
balcony floor.

Evan appeared behind me with a towel. "Are we adopting that one too?"

"Not adopting," I corrected him. "But we can't just leave it out here."

"Of course not." He held the towel out to me and together, we carefully sat the dove on it and
carried her inside.

"Funny how it's almost routine already," Evan commented. "I think I'll let my followers name this
one. Unless you already have a name."

"Your followers wanted to name the dog Barky McBarksalot," I reminded him. "That's animal
abuse."

"That's why we didn't go with that name. I guess you just know more about animals than my
Instagram friends." His dimples showed as he smiled at me and my thoughts stopped short for a
second. Holy shit, how could anyone's smile look so nice?

And why the hell did that smile have to belong to a straight guy?

There should be laws against that.

"You need help with the bird?" he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts as we set the towel with
the animal down on the counter.

"Uh..." I glanced around. "Could you lock Miss Daisy in my room?"

"What about Toto?"

I grimaced. "Can't lock them both in one room." They tolerated each other's presence when they
had the option of seeking distance as needed, but we'd discovered with the last bird that locking
them in a room together was not the best course of action.

At least not when we didn't want to buy new furniture.

Toto freaking loved Miss Daisy, but Miss Daisy was not a fan of the dog and had clawed through
curtains and pillow cases to get away before toppling over the bedside lamp and causing it to
crash on the laminated floor.

"All right," Evan said. "I'll put Miss Daisy in your room and take Toto tonight."

"Really, but..." I looked back at the girl he'd brought along. Surely having Toto in his room
wouldn't go great with his plans for the evening?

Evan only smiled at me, though. "Don't worry about it." He ruffled a hand through my hair as if I
was fucking five years old. It should have been mortifying, but I enjoyed it any way. And then I
quickly turned away so he wouldn't see me blush.

My attention fiercely focused on the dove, I pretended that I wasn't at all interested in what Evan
was doing as he herded the other animals in the house.

After a few minutes, he came back to me just as I was done checking the bird. The wings didn’t
seem broken, which was a good thing.

"Anything else I can help you with tonight?" Evan asked.

I shook my head. "Go entertain your guest."

"If you're sure." He hesitated, then turned back to Angelica, who rose from the couch with a
smile. Evan walked ahead and she followed, but not before shooting me an odd look.

What was that about?

Glancing at the couch again, I froze.

There on the seat Angelica had just deserted lay my sketchpad. She'd been looking at it.
Goddammit, did that mean she knew?

Calm down, Ben, I told myself. She couldn't possible know everything just from looking at a
drawing I'd made.

I made myself move, pick up the sketchpad. The drawing wasn't even that good, was it? I hadn't
spent a lot of time on it. There was no way she would have recognized--

My heart stopped as I flipped to the page with my latest sketch.

Why did it have to look so much like Evan?

And why had I drawn a little heart next to his face?

Jesus fucking Christ, what was wrong with me?

It was one thing to think that my straight roommate was hot, but this? These were the actions of
a teenage girl with a crush, not the actions of a grown-ass man.

And now Angelica knew that I had a crush on Evan. She had to know. That was why she'd given
me that odd look.

Was she going to tell him?

Evan knew that I was gay, but I'd never even hinted that I might be into him. Why would I?
When there was no chance of reciprocation.

I swallowed hard.

What would I do if she told him?

2
Evan
"Your roommate's cute,"Angelica said after I'd led her into my room. She sat on my bed, looking
up at me through her thick, long lashes.

"Ben?" I asked. "Sorry, he's not into girls." A real shame too. Angelica was right; he was cute. If
he'd been straight, I could have introduced him to a few girls without a problem, but I had no
experience with being a wingman for a gay guy. Not that there was anything wrong with being
gay. I just wasn't well-versed in that culture.

"Oh, so you do know." For some reason, this made Angelica frown.

"Of course I know, we've been living together for half a year." At first I'd only planned to stay for
a month, but then... I'd gotten used to this place surprisingly fast. It'd be time to move on soon,
though. I couldn’t mooch off Ben forever, and while I made some money off my workout videos
and Instagram content, there was no way I could afford paying Ben what half this apartment was
worth.

"Isn't it weird, though?" Angelica asked.

"What, that he's gay?" I'd been about to sit down next to her, but her words gave me pause. If
she dared make some sort of homophobic comment, I'd kick her right out--pretty lashes and
perfect boobs be damned.

"Not that, but that he... likes you."

I laughed with relief at her misunderstanding. "He doesn't like me. We're just good friends. Trust
me, Ben's cool." My ego wasn't big enough to believe that my roommate would be into me just
because he was gay and I had a penis.

Angelica's frown deepened. "But he..." she hesitated. "Whatever. I don't wanna talk about your
roommate."

Just as she said that, Toto jumped up on the bed with her and spread out, blocking most of the
space. For being a small dog, he did a remarkably good job of that, and I knew from experience
that it would be tough getting him off the bed once he'd closed his eyes. You could be shouting
in his ear and he'd just pretend he didn't hear you.

I'd shaken my head at Ben when he brought Toto home a few months ago, but it was just so like
him to go out with the intention of dropping an animal off at the shelter… only to come home
with an additional pet.

"What are you smiling about?" Angelica asked.

"Nothing."

"Can the dog not sleep on the couch in the living room?"

"Usually he would, but we have that dove to take care of. If we let him out, he might wanna try to
eat it." I did sit next to her now, in the little space Toto had left over for me.

"That's too bad." Angelica dropped her voice. "I was hoping we could make use of the bed."

Those thoughts had definitely been on my mind as well. Ever since my eyes had landed on her
at the bar.

"You were going to show me your tattoos," Angelica reminded me. With her finger, she traced
the dragon on my left arm. "The ones underneath your clothes."

Yes, I remembered promising that. Getting an in with the ladies wasn't the reason I loved getting
inked, but it sure helped. Not all of my tattoos were visible while I was dressed--and I'd become
very skilled at sneaking this fact into a conversation.

Any other night, I would have found some way to get Toto off the bed and make room for the
lady. This night, though...

Something just didn't feel right.

How could I shut myself in my room while Ben was out there dealing with the bird who'd crashed
into our window?

"You look distracted." Angelica pouted.

I told myself to focus.

And then a crashing noise sounded from the living room.

It was almost as if the universe was conspiring to keep me from getting laid that night--and I'd
never been one to ignore the signs of the universe. Especially not when they were as loud as
this one.

I jumped from the bed and was at the door in two seconds flat, ripping it open. Ben stood in the
middle of the living room, the bird circling overhead.

"Get out." Ben tried motioning toward the open window, but the bird seemed to have no interest
in the obvious escape route, choosing instead to fly around aimlessly in our living room. Still
dazed from the crash, maybe.

"What happened?" I asked.

Ben only glanced at me before focusing back on the bird, but I could already see what had
made that noise. Our avian friend had knocked a vase with flowers off the counter. Ben brought
flowers home once a week to 'make the place look more friendly.' He didn't seem to care that, in
spite of her name, Miss Daisy wasn't a big fan of the flowers and knocked the vase over
routinely. This time, though, it must have been the bird. And right after it had crashed into the
vase, it had knocked a couple of coffee mugs from the shelf too.

"I should have bought those damn stickers," Ben muttered, still trying to shoo the bird out the
window.

Angelica pushed past me and grabbed one of the pillows off the couch.

"What are you trying to do?" I asked.

"I can hit it!" she claimed. "I was on the volleyball team for three years in high school!"

"Wait! Don't," Ben cried, but it was already too late. Angelica had launched her weapon into the
air.

She missed, and the pillow landed on the coffee table, where it proceeded to knock an empty
bowl to the floor.
"Jesus Christ," I muttered under my breath. If Ben didn't pick those stickers up tomorrow, I
would.

Angelica glared at me. "You have a better idea what to do?"

I didn't, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try anyway. I held a hand up to the ceiling. "Here,
birdy." As I stood there, looking like an idiot, an idea struck me. "Ben," I said. "Get me a bag of
chips."

Ben's face lit up, and then he hurried to comply with my request.

Once I had a chip in my hand, the bird flew toward me. I tossed the treat out the window.
Miraculously, the dove followed and everything would have worked out perfectly—if the bird
hadn’t decided to relieve itself over Angelica’s head before making its escape.

Ben and I stood and stared at her. For a second, her face remained extraordinarily blank, as if
she was trying very hard not to feel anything at all, then her features extorted into an expression
of pure rage. "I can't believe that fucker shit on me!"

Once she spoke, the world seemed to start turning again.

Ben rushed over to close the window. I approached Angelica, but she only huffed and turned.
"Where's your bathroom?"

"That door." I pointed. "Seriously, I'm so sorry that--"

"Save it," she grumped before stalking off to use the facilities.

Ben, meanwhile, was still staring out the window. "You think Flappy is going to be okay?" he
asked without looking at me.

"Flappy?"

"That's the name I gave the bird."

"The bird was only with us for twenty minutes or so."

"It's still our fault that he got hurt."

"I think he'll be okay." A smile tugged at my lips. "Maybe he'll be back to visit."

Finally, Ben turned to look at me. "You think the stores are still open? I really need to get those
stickers."
He was right about that, but I didn't think he needed to go out at this time. "Tomorrow will be
early enough," I promised. "What are the chances that we get two birds in one night?"

"You just said Flappy might be back."

"Not tonight. Tonight he'll do his best to get away from here."

Ben nodded. "Sorry for the mess." His gaze wandered over the shards of the broken vase and
the destroyed coffee mugs on the floor.

"It's your place," I reminded him. "And it's not your fault. C'mon, let's clean up." I went to the
kitchen to pull a dustpan out from the cabinet under the sink.

"But you’ve got a guest over," Ben protested. "I can clean up by myself."

"Yeah, dude, no way. You already let me stay here for free." I hadn't wanted to take him up on
that offer, but he kept insisting he didn't need the money. That his family was loaded or
something. I didn't know exactly how loaded, but apparently loaded enough to buy this kind of
place for their son.

Loaded enough that Ben could afford to buy another vase every other week.

"The sooner we start, the sooner we're done," I prodded my roommate into action.

Finally, he moved, getting a broom to help with the shards of the broken mugs.

"Where's Toto?" he asked after a moment.

"Asleep."

"Really?" Ben gazed in the direction of my room. "That dog really can sleep through anything."

"Yeah, once he's out, he's out. Lucky bastard."

Angelica reappeared from the bathroom, but she only took one look at us before her expression
soured again. Yeah, whatever chances I'd had with that girl, I'd blown all of them.

don't Ben nearly shrieked. "You don't have to help me. I know about the app! But I can't just...
I...." He stopped, his face turning from tomato to forest fire red.

"Okay, I get it. Online dating isn't for everyone." I put my phone back in my pocket so he would
calm down. "There must be gay bars around here. If you want, we can visit one this Saturday."
Ben looked at me as if I had just proclaimed the end of the world. "But you're not gay," he said in
a very small tone of voice.

"I didn't know there were entry requirements."

"There aren't. At least, I think there aren't. I've never actually been to a gay bar before. And I
don't need to go to one. And you don't have to come."

"Okay, okay, I get it. No gay bars." I held my hands up in a placating manner.

"Did Angelica tell you anything?" Ben asked, a little suddenly.

"What would she have told me?" And why did Ben think Angelica would know anything about
gay bars?

"I don't know. I think, um... I left something in the... uh... bathroom." Very quickly, Ben put his
broom aside and vanished into the bathroom.

I'd planned to tell Ben that he wasn't 'the weird one', but with the way he acted tonight, I
honestly wasn't sure anymore.

3
Ben
"Oh my fucking God,I am going to die," I texted my sister once I had made it to the safety of the
bathroom.

Her response came only a minute later. Just enough time for me to cool down a little bit and
start thinking rationally again. Angelica had not told Evan about my obsession with him. That
was a good thing. I didn't need to freak out over that possibility anymore. Okay. Breathe.

"What happened?" Charlie's text read. "I want all the details."

I responded to her, but not in great detail. "A bird crashed into our window. Then that bird shat
on Evan's date's head before we could get it outside again. And the date also saw a drawing I'd
made of Evan so I asked Evan if she'd told him about that. I think probably no. Not a hundred
percent sure. But now Evan wants to help me find a date. At a gay bar."

Three dots appeared on my screen, followed by a laughing smiley that had tears streaming
down its face.

"Good to know this amuses you," I typed.

"It's not the end of the world," Charlie gave back. "You'll survive. And you'll have to tell me how
you like the gay bar. Where are you gonna go?"
"I'm not going!" I sent back. In all caps.

"Why not?" Charlie asked.

Yeah, why not? I let my phone sink and thought about that. This whole dating thing, picking
people up, seemed to be so easy for everyone else. Evan did it all the time, and my sister was
good enough at it that she'd be getting married soon.

Meanwhile, I was still a virgin at 21.

Fucking pathetic.

Maybe I should take Evan up on his offer. We'd go to that bar together and he'd tell me what to
do and maybe then I'd... finally grow up.

Except I already knew what would happen if I went to a gay bar with Evan. I wouldn't be
interested in any of the guys there while my roommate was sitting next to me. That was the real
problem, wasn't it? My unhealthy obsession with a straight guy. A straight guy who must be
thinking I was nuts.

Slowly, I forced myself to leave the bathroom.

Time to stop acting like a child and reclaim my dignity.

While I'd been chatting with my sister, Evan had cleaned up the rest of the mess the bird had
made. My face wanted to grow warm with shame again, but I managed to keep myself under
control. "Sorry," I said to get Evan's attention. "For the way the night turned out. And the way I
acted just now." I took a deep breath and straightened. "I really don't need you to come to a
night club with me. I'm sure you have your own things going on, and I don't think that's my
scene, anyway."

Evan gave me a long, measuring look, as if he was trying to figure out if I was bullshitting him or
not. I meant what I'd said, though. Hell, even if the idea of going to a night club with Evan by my
side didn't make my brain want to explode, I couldn't picture myself hanging out at a bar. Much
less at a gay bar where people might be checking me out, hoping for more. "That's okay," Evan
said eventually. "I guess we can shelve that idea for now." He thought for a moment. "Aren't
there any good-looking guys at your college?"

"Not in particular." That was only a half-lie. There were some good-looking guys on campus,
sure... but gay good-looking guys? Not so much.

And even if there were, how would I know? It wasn't like people had their sexualities tattooed on
their foreheads.
"Don't give up, okay?" Evan squeezed my shoulder and the touch sent heat searing through my
clothes. I forced myself to look at the floor so he wouldn't see it on my face. "I'm sure the right
guy's out there for you."

I made myself nod, even though I knew he was wrong.

The right guy wasn't out there. He was here with me, in this apartment.

The problem was that I wasn't right for him.

"You can tell me if you need help," Evan said before letting go of my shoulder again way too
soon. "Anything, okay?"

"Yeah," I croaked out before I somehow managed to make myself smile in return.

God, why did Evan have to be so goddamn handsome?

And what had possessed me to accept him as my roommate?

It wasn't even like I needed the money he wasn't paying me.

Get a roommate, Charlie had said. It'll be fun, she'd said.

In truth, I just hadn't wanted to be alone all the time. Evan had seemed perfect because he was
only looking for a temporary room. A month or so. That month had turned into six... and now I
found myself hoping it would turn into another six. At least.

"I was thinking about hitting up San-Francisco next," Evan said, as if he could tell what was on
my mind. "You should visit me there. I hear they have a lot of gay guys."

My heart dropped.

Keep a straight face, Ben,I reminded myself. A straight face, even if all the rest of you is too gay
for your own good.

"You're going to San Francisco?"

Evan shrugged as if it was no big deal. "Figured I gotta get out of your hair eventually. There's
this dude who's offered me his couch."

My throat constricted. Who was this dude who had offered Evan his couch? "We have a couch
too," I said before I could stop myself. "It's a good couch." I nodded at it.
"We?" Evan asked.

I gulped, because I hadn't even realized I'd used that word. But now that I'd become used to
having a roommate, I didn't want to go back to being all by myself in this apartment again. It was
beautiful, yes, but it was also way too big for one person who didn't have friends other than his
sister to invite over.

Well, maybe I could ask my mom to hire me some friends. She would be delighted for sure.

"Hey, no need to get all sad." Evan's hand landed on my shoulder again, distracting me. He had
big hands. Strong hands. "I'm not leaving tomorrow, and it's not like I'll never come visit again."
His lips twitched up. "Toto would miss me too much if I stayed away forever."

"Yeah, Toto loves you," I said, swallowing down the words I really wanted to say.

"Yeah, I know." He ruffled my hair. "Time to sleep I think. If I can get Toto to make even a little bit
of space for me. See you in the morning." He gave me a short wave, then disappeared into his
room.

I was left behind, feeling jealous of a dog.

Could I sink any lower than this?

4
Evan
I woketo my phone almost literally blowing up with messages. No two seconds passed without
the damn thing vibrating right next to my ear. I really needed to get into the habit of turning that
off over night.

Still trying to focus my thoughts, I read the first message: "Dude, is that really you in that
picture?"

What picture? Groggily, I scrolled through ten more similar messages on my phone while I tried
to convince myself that I was awake enough to deal with the world.

Nope, it wasn't going to happen before coffee.

I switched my phone to silent and slipped it into the pocket of my pants after I got dressed
enough to brave the kitchen--which meant I was wearing a pair of loose-fitting jeans and nothing
else.

Ben wasn't up yet, but I hadn't expected him to be. The sun was only just starting to rise outside
our gorgeous windows.
Our windows. Huh. I chuckled at myself for the language I'd used inside of my head. I was
turning into Ben, getting all sentimental and shit. The thought put a smile on my face as I
worked the coffee machine. Better make enough for the both of us. Ben's morning didn't start
before coffee either.

While I was working, Toto trotted into the kitchen. The dog inspected his empty food bowl, then
stared at me as if trying to hypnotize me into filling it with all the very best things in the house.

"Sorry, no," I told him. "Ben will have my ass if I feed you before seven." My quiet roommate
could be surprisingly outspoken when it came to the care and feeding of his pets. "You'll have to
wait for Ben to get up." I glanced at the clock. "It'll only be another ten minutes or so."

Toto continued to stare at me as if I hadn't said anything at all.

"Nope, not budging," I told the dog. I could be a rock when I needed to be, and I was not going
to be worn down by this little terrier.

Unimpressed, Toto came closer and nipped at my shoe.

"Hey!" I tried to shoo him off. "That's not cool."

Toto sat back and looked innocent.

Darn dog. Why did his eyes have to be so big? I nearly caved. But then Ben came out of his
bedroom and Toto ran toward him instead.

"He knows you're an easier target," I greeted Ben.

"An easier target?" Ben rubbed his eyes, looking a bit groggy still.

"I got coffee going," I informed him, which immediately made a smile show up on his face. Ben
had a nice smile. When he put it on, he looked almost as innocent as the dog.

"Thank you." Ben went to grab a mug for himself. "Looks like I gotta feed Toto and Miss Daisy
first."

"You do that." Meanwhile, I got my phone out of my pocket again. Only to see that there were
even more messages waiting for me now. I unlocked the screen and looked at the first one.

"Dude, I didn't know you were gay. Not that I mind, but you could have let us know!"
I blinked, then read the message again. It came from one of my Instagram friends. Someone I
barely knew aside from the comments they left on my posts every now and then. Why did they
suddenly think I was gay?

The next message I looked at solved that riddle for me. I'd been tagged in a post by someone
else. Instinctively, I frowned. Other people uploading photographs of me was the worst. They
almost never looked good. Yes, that was a shallow thing to complain about, but I put a lot of
work into my brand.

The post I’d been tagged in wasn’t a picture of me, though. It was a drawing of me, a sketch. It
was a really good sketch too. Very detailed. With a tiny heart drawn onto the paper next to it.

It looked like the kind of sketches Ben made. The ones he didn't want to show me and that he
whisked away out of sight whenever I surprised him by entering the room while he was drawing.

Reading the text that went along with the post confirmed my suspicions. This was one of Ben's
drawings. "Tried to hook up with @FitInk44 last night, but it seems he's sleeping with his
roommate instead," the text read. Knots formed in my stomach, tied together by threads of rage.

Not at Ben.

At Angelica.

What right did she have to post one of Ben's drawings when he wouldn't even show them to
me? She sure as hell hadn't had Ben's permission to show his creations to the world.

Fuck her.

Or, no, definitely don't fuck her.

"What's going on?" Ben asked.

I looked up to realize that the coffee had finished brewing and Ben was holding a mug out to
me. I took it with a muttered thanks.

"Something wrong?" Ben tried again.

I had to tell him, didn't I? God, he was going to be so embarrassed. I kind of wished I could just
reach through the phone and strangle Angelica. She would certainly have deserved it. This kind
of vindictive shit was so unnecessary. I needed to not hang out with random hook-ups anymore.
My lifestyle just didn’t lend itself to more serious relationships, what with me hopping from place
to place… I’d already stayed here far too long, and now I needed to explain all of this shit to my
followers somehow before it turned into even more of a thing.
"Angelica did something terrible," I started, but not before taking a big swig of coffee and almost
burning the roof of my mouth.

"What did she do?" Ben bit his lower lip, always so easily concerned. "Do you need help with
anything?"

"No, it's not like that. She just... She took a picture of your sketchbook. I'm so sorry. I swear. I
wouldn't have brought her over if I'd known she would do something like that." I decided right
then and there that I'd never take another girl back to Ben's place.

Ben's face turned the color of pure powder snow. "My sketchbook?" he stammered.

"Again, I'm so sorry."

"She sent you a picture?"

I grimaced, but I had to tell him the whole truth, didn't I? Sooner or later, he was going to find
out, anyway. Might as well hear it from me. "She posted the picture to Instagram. I'll message
her to take it down." Even as I spoke, I tapped on my phone to do just that. If Angelica didn't
take that stupid picture down herself, I'd report her ass too.

"Did that picture... um...." Ben's face went from white to red as he struggled for words. "What
was in the picture?"

"I think it's supposed to be me."

Impossibly, Ben's face took on an even brighter shade of red.

"She wants to claim I'm gay." I rolled my eyes as I finished tapping out my message to her,
adding a couple of furious emoticons at the end because I was mature like that. "Guess she
didn't take well to having a dove shit on her last night."

"I'm sorry," Ben said, making me look up.

"What are you sorry for?"

"For drawing that," Ben said as if it was obvious. "For leaving it somewhere Angelica could
see... for making her think you're gay. Now everyone's going to think that."

"That’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong."

"I shouldn't have drawn you," Ben insisted, cheeks still flushed.
"You didn't mean anything by it," I waved him off. "You're an artist, you draw things. And people.
She had no business snooping around in your stuff."

"So you don't think it's weird that I did that?"

"I think it's amazing." I put the phone aside so I could give my roommate my full attention. He
obviously needed it more than Instagram did. "I wasn't even in the room when you drew that,
and yet it totally looks like me. That takes some serious skill." I'd always had an appreciation for
the arts, though I'd never been able to draw for shit myself. I preferred paying other people to
put their art on my body. "You should design a tattoo for me some day," I said.

Ben's eyes grew wide. "I'm not that good."

"Sure you are. I bet you have tons of amazing pictures in your sketchbook."

Instead of responding, Ben took a sip of his coffee, holding the mug so high it obscured half his
face. "I'm not a professional or anything," he mumbled.

"You could be, with a little practice," I insisted. "You're bored of school anyway, aren't you? I'm
not telling you to quit and become an artist instead, but it's an option."

He shook his head, but his lips tugged up as if he was amused. "It's not." His eyes sank to his
mug again, even as he lowered it onto the counter. "It doesn't mean anything, you know?"

"What doesn't mean anything?"

Ben kept his gaze fixed on his mug. "The heart. I was just doodling."

"I know."

He looked up at me. "You believe me?"

"Of course I do. If you were into me, you'd tell me, right?"

Ben looked at me for a long moment before nodding just once. "Yeah, sure." He turned toward
the dog. "I better walk Toto. He's getting restless."

In truth, Toto had wolfed down his meal and then lain down in a corner for another nap. He
jumped up, though, when Ben dangled the leash in front of his face.

I didn't stop Ben from going out with the dog, but I didn't follow him either.

Poor dude obviously needed a moment to himself, and I needed to do some damage control on
my Instagram account
5
Ben
I'd thoughtI was going to die last night, but holy shit, I was really going to die now. How was it
possible that I'd survived the night only to wake up to this? What cruel God was running this
universe? I got the sneaking suspicion I was just a character in one of those life simulation video
games and someone was sitting in front of their computer cackling madly as they watched my
life go to absolute shit.

Only I couldn't be a character in a computer game because genitals were pixelated in those and
mine worked way too freaking well. I'd had to start wearing baggy pants ever since Evan had
moved in with me.

If this was all a game, I wouldn't have those problems.

Toto nudged my leg as if he knew I was obsessing about stupid shit in my head. Oh, to be a
dog. Toto's life was simple. Sleep, eat, play, repeat. As soon as he was satisfied that he had my
attention again, he went back to sniffing a fire hydrant that seemed to be particularly interesting
this morning.

Meanwhile, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called my sister. A text message was not
going to do this situation justice.

Evan's words were still on repeat in my head. If you were into me, you'd tell me, right?

Yeah... right.

As if.

Charlie sounded sleepy when she answered the phone. I almost felt bad about calling her, but I
knew she'd want to hear my news. My dear sister lived for drama like this. "What's going on?
Did you have a nightmare?" she teased. "Need your big sister to sing you back to sleep?"

"My life is a nightmare," I countered. "I don't think you have a song that can fix this kind of
horror."

"Okay, what happened? Give me all the deets." There were rustling noises on the other end of
the line and I imagined my sister rolling out of bed.

"Remember Angelica saw that picture I drew of my roommate? Well, she posted it on Instagram
and tagged him in it. Now the whole world thinks we're gay together."

Charlie laughed. "Oh God, seriously? Wait, what's her Instagram account? I need to see this."
"That's your response?" I tried to act offended, but I hadn't really expected anything else. Why
had I called her again? Oh, because she was my only friend in the world. She could be a pain in
my ass, but she would stick up for me when it counted.

"What's your roommate's Instagram?" she asked.

I gave her Evan's username.

"Oh, that's such a cute picture," she said after a moment, nearly squealing. "You've gotten really
good, little brother."

"Thanks?"

"No, really. It's a great drawing. But that heart..." She sighed. "It's kind of telling. I mean, not that
I blame you..." A moment's pause. "I'm scrolling through his feed. He's hot. Damn, those
tattoos."

"You're getting married," I reminded her.

"Doesn't mean I'm going blind."

"Don't perv on my roommate."

"Why, because he's yours?"

I wanted to say yes, but stopped myself. Evan wasn't mine. He'd never be. He was straight, and
even if he weren't, he would be way out of my league.

"How did he take it?" Charlie asked. "If he's mad at you about this I'm gonna come down there
and beat his ass."

"He's not mad."

"But he knows about your crush now?"

"No, I told him it was nothing. It's better that way." Less humiliating, even though I didn't know
how I was going to escape with any shred of my dignity intact after this. "At least he's not mad
that people think he's gay now."

"He sounds like a good guy, if a little naïve."

"Don’t call him that. He’s the best!" I insisted as Toto tugged on the leash to drag me on. I took a
step--and nearly stumbled at my sister's next words.
"You should bring him to the wedding."

What the hell was she talking about? "You can’t just invite him to your wedding. Mom's going to
freak if you add any new guests at this point."

"Oh my God, can you even imagine?" A gleeful note entered my sister's voice. "Mom would
freak at the sight of him. Green hair and tattoos? She'd have an aneurysm."

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"Isn't it why you love him?" Charlie shot back. "He's like the opposite of everything she wants
you to be."

I groaned. "It's way too early in the morning for this kind of conversation. And you can't send out
more invites."

"I wouldn't. He'd be coming as your plus one."

He… what?

I very nearly walked into a lamp post. I would have too, if Toto hadn't dragged me around it.

"Think about it," Charlie insisted. "He can be your date. He doesn't mind if people think he's gay
and Mom can't bother you with any of the girls she's picked out for you. It would be perfect."

“That’s ridiculous!" Even though she couldn’t see me, I gestured wildly. “You really just want to
give Mom an aneurysm."

"Maybe."

"It's not going to happen," I shot Charlie down before she could say anymore. If I let her ramble
on, she was never going to stop.

"You're no fun," she complained.

"I'm not going to torture myself for your entertainment."

"Torture yourself by having a gorgeous guy as your pretend boyfriend?"

I rolled my eyes at my sister even though she couldn't see me. How did she not understand how
stupid it would be to pretend-date the man I had a crush on? What if we needed to kiss to make
it seem more real? What if I popped a boner and he noticed?

What if I liked the illusion so much I was heartbroken when it was over?
Nope, it was better to just not start anything. I could put up with my family for a week even
without a pretend boyfriend.

"Ben?" My sister tried and I realized that I'd missed what she was saying because I'd been too
busy imagining what it would feel like to be kissed by Evan. Even if it was only pretend.

Goddammit, now I was hard again.

"I'm gonna hang up," I told my sister.

"Yeah, sure, wake me up and then ditch me."

"Love you too." I tapped on the phone to end the call and then slid it back into my pocket. Toto
barked at me once, bringing my attention back to him. "What's up, buddy?" I asked. In
response, Toto dragged me over to the bushes. "Did you find something?" I took a closer look.
What if he'd smelled a wounded animal or--?

No, not a wounded animal.

Just another dog’s dump.

Freaking amazing.

***

When I made it back inside with the dog, Evan was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his
phone.

"She took the picture down," he announced, even though I hadn't asked. In my mind, if we never
had to talk about this topic again it would be too soon. “And get this, I’m actually gaining
followers from this.”

"Really? That's great," I made myself say. At least one of us was profiting from being gay… or
being perceived as such, anyway.

“Yeah, there’s some people unfollowing, but I’m getting more new followers to close the gap.”
He paused. “I gotta find a good way to set the record straight.”

“Straight is the right word.” And I had to remind myself of this too. Evan wasn’t really gay. I took
Toto’s leash off, then joined my roommate on the couch. He put his phone aside.

"Again, I'm really sorry about this," he said. "But I'll make it up to you."
Something about the way Evan looked at me had warnings flags popping up in the back of my
mind. "Make it up to me how?"

"Okay, don't freak out, but some of my Instagram friends are from around here, and they're
telling me there's this really cool place downtown that I have to visit before I leave the city."

Yeah, the warning flags had definitely been warranted. "What kind of place?"

"A place to have drinks, dance a little..."

"A club?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"We've talked about this," I reminded him.

"Yeah, but that was back when I didn't know anything. Now I have insider information! Besides,
we should go out together at least once before I pack up my bags."

A string of dread coiled itself around my insides and drew tight. I didn't want to think about Evan
leaving. Or about how empty this place would feel without him in it.

But what if I could make him stay just a little bit longer? An idea came to me. "I'll go under one
condition."

"What condition?"

"You won't leave before next month. You gotta at least see the leaves change. This place is
beautiful in the fall." That was a lame thing to say, yes, but it was the best I had.

"Okay, deal." Evan smiled at me, and suddenly I didn't feel so stupid after all.

Until I remembered that I'd just agreed to going to a club with him.
6
Evan
The more timewe spent at Bees and Bears, the more I thought that maybe coming here hadn't
been such a great idea after all. The place was fine. The music was a little loud and the dance
floor a bit too crowded for my liking, but other than that, it was a pretty typical club. Not too
different from a 'straight' place, all things considered. If you wanted to have fun, there were
plenty of ways to do that.

Ben didn't seem to want to have fun, though.

From the moment we'd entered the club, he'd been tense all over, hunched shoulders and
everything. I'd never seen him like this. Not even when he got embarrassed about small things
that anyone else would have shrugged off.

It was like he just didn't know how to exist in this space.

I ordered shots for us, hoping that the liquor would help him loosen up. Maybe he was holding
on to the same hope too, because he downed his pretty quickly and then asked for another one.

"You see anyone you like?" I asked, trying to coax him out of his shell.

He turned around in his seat to look at the men and women on the dance floor. With his
shoulders drawn up to his ears, he looked a bit like the hunchback of Notre Dame. A cuter
version of the hunchback of Notre Dame, anyway.

Honestly, I had no idea why Ben had such trouble picking up a date. He was good-looking. Not
super-masculine, but I was sure there were guys out there who would be into that.

"I'm not sure," Ben said. He picked up his shot glass, and his expression turned incredibly sad
when he noticed that it was empty.

Jesus, he really needed help. This was a job for someone much more experienced with the gay
dating scene than I was, but I knew where to turn to for help.

"What kind of guy are we looking for?" I asked. "What's your type?" An online friend had asked
me the same question earlier--and there'd been a list attached to the message. Apparently there
were all sorts of different 'types' within the gay community. Daddies, twinks, bears... There'd
been pictures too.

I tapped on my phone to bring the list up again.

"Look." I held my phone out to Ben. "Would you prefer a bear or a daddy? I think you may be a
bit of a twink yourself. It says here twinks often go for daddies." I had to raise my voice a little to
be heard over the sound of the music.

Ben's mouth fell open as he stared at my phone.

Maybe this was new to him too?

"That's not..." He said something else, but his voice dropped and I couldn't hear him.

"Come again?"

Ben looked around himself as if desperate for someone to rescue him from this situation.
"I'm not gonna judge," I promised. "I'm all new to this. Sorry if I said something stupid." Holding
my hands up, I apologized. "You'll be okay for a second?" I asked then. Maybe if I left him by
himself for a minute, he'd calm down and then we could try this whole thing again... or go home.

Going home might just be the best option.

Ben was clearly not comfortable here.

"I'm just gonna hit the bathroom," I said when he nodded at me.

He nodded again. I had no idea why I hesitated, anyway. Something about leaving him at the
bar by himself just felt wrong. Mentally, I shook my head at myself. Ben wasn't a child. He could
handle himself for a minute.

***

When I got back to our seats at the bar, Ben wasn't by himself anymore. A big dude now
occupied the seat I'd vacated. The place was crowded enough that this wasn't super surprising,
but I would have hoped that Ben would hold my seat.

Unless...

Wait, was the big dude talking to Ben?

Were they flirting?

I knew it! That was probably a daddy! Or a bear!

I tried to get a little closer without disturbing the bear in his natural habitat. If Ben had finally
found someone to talk to, I wasn't going to ruin this for him.

Only when the big guy leaned in close, Ben shrank away.

Without even thinking about it, I stepped in. "Sorry to keep you waiting, honey," I said in my best
imitation of what a gay version of me would sound like. It was probably horribly offensive, but
the words had already left my mouth and it was too late to take them back now. For added
effect, I put a hand on Ben's shoulder and smiled at him.

He'd be smart enough to play along, right?

The big dude glanced at me, then back at Ben. "You didn't say you were here with someone."
His voice sounded kind of gruff. I had to strain to hear him over the noise of the speakers and
the hum of conversations around us.

"I, um..." Ben looked up at me.

"Aw, were you too shy to say anything?" I asked, then turned to the big dude. "We've only been
dating for a week," I claimed. "But yeah, he's here with someone." I interlaced my fingers with
Ben and held up our hands.

The maybe-bear-maybe-daddy took the hint, grunted and left.

That had been surprisingly easy.

"Wanna head home?" I asked Ben.

"Yeah," Ben said. His eyes, however, were glued to our hands.

"Sorry." I let go. "You looked like you wanted to be extracted from that conversation."

"I did. Thank you."

I gave him a smile. "That's what friends are for, right?"

He agreed with a nod, but his face fell. I had absolutely no idea why, but I hated to see him so
down on himself. "C'mon, we'll go home and order pizza. This can still be a good night. You, me,
the TV and a box of pizza. What do you say?"

"Sounds perfect." Ben still wouldn't meet my gaze, though.

I'd screwed up tonight, hadn't I?

But that just meant I had to find another way to make things up to Ben.

7
Ben
Just when I'dthought I couldn't possibly sink any lower, I'd needed Evan to rescue me from
being hit on. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. How was I ever going to recover from this? Not with
my dignity intact, that was for sure.

And Evan was so damn nice about it too. Taking me home, ordering pizza, putting on E.T.
because he knew that was my favorite movie. Lord knew I often felt like an alien myself.
Leaning back into the couch, I sighed. Evan would have been the perfect boyfriend.

If he'd been gay. And interested in me.

That moment at the bar, though, when he'd pretended we were together... that had been nice.

Instead of watching the movie, I stared down at my hand. When Evan had interlaced our
fingers, for a second or two, my heart had forgotten how to beat. I'd hardly even heard what he'd
said after, my blood too loud in my ears. Whatever it had been, though, it had made the other
guy leave. Evan had taken care of me. He'd done it with a horribly fake voice, but still...

"You want the last piece?" Evan asked, nodding at the pizza box between us. It was pepperoni
pizza. Evan's favorite topping. I'd picked it because Evan only had pizza maybe once a month. I
could have it whenever, but he needed to stay in shape for the workout videos he recorded for
his followers. He was only having this pizza to make me feel better so it might as well have his
favorite toppings.

"You can have it," I said. Truth be told, I wasn't all that hungry anyway.

"Thanks." He picked it up and took a bite, all while Toto tried to steal the piece before it could
reach his mouth.

"Toto! Not again." I pushed the dog aside, but he was reluctant to go, utterly convinced that
every piece of food in the house was his, and we were being terribly cruel by denying him
access to it. We’d even had to start feeding the cat in another room.

Evan laughed. "It's fine. I'll just eat faster."

"No, it's not fine." After everything Evan had done for me tonight, I could at least keep my dog
under control. I hooked my fingers under Toto's collar and dragged him out of the living room.
"Time for a nap," I told him, pointing at the dog bed next to mine.

Toto stared at me, stared at his bed, and tried to go back in the direction of the pizza. "No," I
said, firmly.

Toto stuck his tongue out at me almost as if he knew what that gesture meant.

I locked him in my room. Not without some effort, but still.

"He's going to tear through your shit, you know," Evan said.

I did know, but I would deal with that later. It was all just stuff, anyway. "It's worth it if it means
you can enjoy the rest of your pizza." I sat next to him again.
"I appreciate your sacrifice," Evan said magnanimously. His 'gracious ruler' voice was almost as
bad as his 'gay' voice--the memory of which made me want to laugh again. "You might be on to
something, you know," Evan said after swallowing a mouthful of pizza. "Clubs can be fun, but
this might be the better way to spend an evening."

"Sorry we had to leave so early."

"It's fine," he waved me off. "I shouldn't have made you go."

"You were just trying to help."

"Even so..." He shook his head. "I guess I just don't understand enough about all of this. Like
Daddies and twinks and... what was it? Bears? Otters? Too many animals."

I suppressed a grin. "You shouldn't be using those terms anyway. They're stupid."

"Like I said, I don't know enough."

"Thanks for trying, anyway. What was up with your voice, though? Is that what I sound like to
you?"

“No! Oh God, I’m sorry.” Evan laughed. “Now I feel stupid.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks.” Evan took another bite of his pizza and chewed thoughtfully. "Those labels, though…
If you had to pick…” He turned to me. "What would you pick?"

"Why do you ask?" I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, wondering how to reply. Obviously, I
couldn't tell him that he was my type.

"Just curious." He shoved the rest of the pizza into his mouth. "Hey, maybe you'll meet someone
at your sister's wedding. That's coming up soon, right?"

I actually laughed at that. The thought was just so absurd. "No way."

"Do single gay guys not pick up dates at weddings?"

"Maybe they do, I don't know, but my mom will have a date or five for me."

Evan's eyebrows went up. "That sounds like a lot. Cool that your mom's so on board with your
sexuality, though."
"She's not." I sighed, because I hadn't wanted to get into this topic, but now there was no way
out. "They're all going to be girls."

"Doesn’t she not know that you're gay?"

"Oh, I told her. She just doesn't acknowledge it as truth." I waved my hand dismissively. "So
she's decided I'm not gay. I just haven't met the right girl yet."

"Fuck that noise."

"Yeah, I wish I could."

"So you're gonna play along with her shit?"

I grimaced. Of course Evan wouldn't understand. He didn't know what my family was like.
Refusing my mom wouldn't be worth all the drama it would cause. Easier just to play the good
son for a week.

"Sorry," Evan said. "I obviously don't know your family situation, but that's not right." I could tell
that he was serious by the set of his jaw, by the way his voice turned just a little bit growly.

It warmed something within myself, to see him care that much. To see him get angry on my
behalf. "It's okay," I claimed. "I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be!"

"My sister suggested I bring a date of my own." I had no idea why I said that, except the words
tumbled out of my mouth and then I couldn't take them back.

"Actually, that's a brilliant idea."

"I think she only wants our mom's head to explode."

"Don't you?" Evan asked.

Did I? Kind of, yes. I didn't hate my mom, but I did hate the way she chose to ignore who I was.
"I just want her to... I don't know... accept that I'm not going to marry a woman."

"I think showing up with a boyfriend would be the perfect way to do that." There was something
triumphant about Evan's tone, though I wasn't sure why he loved this idea so much.

"I'm not gonna find myself a boyfriend in time for the wedding," I waved him off.
"He doesn't really have to be a boyfriend," Evan pointed out. "Just take a friend who's cool with
you kissing him in front of your mom."

Yeah, I did not have a lot of friends either. Hadn't Evan noticed that? "It's not as easy as you
make it out to be."

"You're telling me you can't find someone who wants to spend a week in the Caribbean with
you?"

"Not unless you're offering." Holy shit, my mouth was running away with me tonight. "That's
what my sister suggested," I added quickly, before Evan could think this had been my idea.

Fortunately, Evan didn't seem offended by the idea, only mildly amused. "I don't think I have the
necessary cash lying around."

"You wouldn't have to pay," I pointed out before I could stop myself. "The hotel is already paid
for and we'd be taking the private jet anyway."

"The... private jet? Exactly how rich is your family?"

"We do okay," I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. This was exactly why I didn't have friends. I
didn't know how to make normal conversation. "But yeah, don't worry about the cost." I kind of
wished I hadn't locked the dog in my bedroom. If he were here now, I could distract myself by
petting him. I glanced in the direction of my room. A low whine sounded from beyond the door.
Maybe it was time to let him out? The pizza was gone, anyway.

"Wow," Evan said. "I've never flown in a private jet."

My heart did a weird little lurch. "You wanna do it?"

I'd told my sister this wasn't happening, but if he offered... how could I say no?

I wasn't that strong.

Already, images of him and me in our shared hotel room were starting to flood my mind. There'd
only be one bed... Maybe I'd even see him change... And I'd get to kiss him.

It was a small miracle that steam didn't start coming out of my ears at those thoughts.

"If you'll have me, I'll come." Evan gave me a big smile and my heart beat so fast I thought I was
about to faint. I wasn't sure whether to be grateful or not that his next words pulled me back
down to earth. "It'll be perfect for my blog too," He said. "I've never been to that part of the earth.
I'll have to get a new tattoo for the occasion. Maybe I’ll let people vote on a design. What do you
think?"
What I thought? Absolutely nothing, because my mind was blank--and I put a lot of effort into
keeping it that way, fighting the disappointment that was trying to take hold of me.

Of course Evan's mind was going in a whole other direction from mine.

He wasn't gay.

I just needed to find a way to keep that in mind while he pretended to be.

"Sounds perfect," I made myself say, even as I suppressed a sigh.

What the hell had I just signed up for?

8
Evan
The closer wecame to the date of the wedding, the more I realized I needed some advice. I'd
agreed to play Ben's boyfriend for the duration, but in reality, I had no idea what that entailed. I'd
told myself that being a gay guy was no different from being a straight guy, but... what if I was
wrong?

What if my actions embarrassed Ben in front of everybody?

What if it became obvious that I was only acting?

Ben would never forgive me then.

Fortunately, I had all the wisdom of the internet in the palm of my hand.

In between packing my bag for my Caribbean vacation, I authored an anonymous post on

Reddit, a popular social media platform. I logged in under an old username, Dragonboy44, and I
titled my post How To Convince The World That I'm Gay? That should grab some people's
attention, at least.

I kept the post itself short. Just 'Need to help my roommate convince his family he has a
boyfriend. Am a straight guy who's never experimented with that sort of thing. How do I not
screw up?'

And then I waited for the responses to come in.

It didn't take long at all.

'You need a convincing story," the first reply said.

Good point. I hadn't even thought about that yet. What was I going to say when I was asked
how Ben and I had met? Just the truth? That we were living together? And then expand on it
with a lie? Ben and I were going to have to figure this out before I met the parents.

My phone lit up as another response came in. This one was less sophisticated. "You hot? Send
me a pm and I can show you the ropes."

Gross. I deleted that one.

Cucumbers4Life suggested that I ask my roommate what he wanted me to do. I considered it,
pictured myself walking into Ben's room and asking him how exactly he wanted me to prove to
his family that he was gay. The poor kid would probably turn red all over and then faint.

I wondered if that was exactly what would happen if I kissed him in front of his parents.

No, any kissing would have to be initiated by him. I wasn't going to force anything like that on
him. Not if it made him uncomfortable. I'd be fine if he wanted to kiss me, but he'd have to pull
the trigger.

While I was thinking, another reply showed up. "You can show affection without making out.
Hold his hand, touch his shoulder when you pass him, place your hand on his lower back, that
kind of thing. No need to make it extreme."

I liked that comment. Solid advice. It also wasn't as likely to make Ben completely freak out.

I thanked everyone except for that dude who had wanted to 'show me the ropes', then slid my
phone back into my pocket to finish up packing. We were going to be leaving early in the
morning and I didn't want to leave anything for last minute. Once I had checked that I had
everything I needed, I picked my phone up one more time to take a shot of my bag. 'Leaving on
a jet plane', I titled the picture as I uploaded it to Instagram.

A huge grin formed on my lips. Ben's family seriously had a private jet. This was going to be
wild.

***

When I entered the living room a few minutes later, I found Ben sitting on the couch with the cat
in his lap, graciously allowing him to pet her. He looked up when I came in. "Done packing?"

"Yeah, all set to leave in the morning."

Ben focused his attention back on the cat again as if he was suddenly uncomfortable. "I can't
believe we're doing this."

"It'll be fun," I tried to reassure him as I plopped down on the couch next to him. Miss Daisy
glanced at me, but I wasn't stupid enough to fall for her trap. If I made to touch her now, she'd
claw at me. I could see it in her eyes. Little diva.

"You don't know my family," Ben said.

"So tell me about them."

Ben stared at his lap and stopped petting the cat until Miss Daisy started glaring at him. "They're
not bad people," he said eventually. "Just a little... eccentric."

That didn't surprise me one bit. I wasn't going to mention it to Ben, but I was well aware that
money did weird things to people. It had messed with my own family--and that hadn't even been
private-jet-plane amounts of money. "Do you have any siblings other than your sister?" I asked.
"What are your parents like? Aside from the homophobia."

"It's just me and my sister. She's two years older than me, and she's always taken her job as my
big sister pretty seriously." A smile stole onto his lips as he talked about Charlie.

"So she's the one I need to impress. Got it."

A faint blush crept into Ben's cheeks, making me want to squeeze him. "You don't have to
impress her at all. All of this was her idea, remember? Her wedding, her rules, I guess."

"Who's the lucky guy she's marrying?"

"Walker Greenwald. They've been dating for a couple of years. My parents are ecstatic about
the marriage. The Greenwalds are old money, which is exactly what my parents wish they
were." Ben rolled his eyes.

"So your family is new money?"

"Toilet paper money," Ben elaborated, then grinned at the confused expression on my face. "We
literally make our money by taking care of other people's shit." He scoffed. “Sometimes I think
the whole family stinks of it.”

"Wait, for real? You sell toilet paper?" Now that I thought about it, yeah, of course someone had
to be producing toilet paper, I'd just never expected to be running into one of those people. "How
did I not know that about you?"

"Well, I don't sell toilet paper. Not yet, anyway. You know I'm still working on my degree."
"A degree you hate," I pointed out. Not to be mean but because he'd told me this once or twice
while moaning about papers he had to write or exams he needed to be studying for.

Ben shrugged. "My dad insists I finish my degree before I start working in the family business. I
don’t know how much use that degree really is, though. My uncle has one, and he thought we
should sell pumpkin spice scented toilet paper."

“Pumpkin spice scented toilet paper?”

“Yeah, it didn’t go over great. Imagine that.”

“Still trying to wrap my head around all of this, to be honest… So in a few years you're going to
be selling toilet paper?"

"A few other related products too, but yes, primarily that. Around my parents, we use the term
sanitary items."

"Interesting." I filed that little piece of information away in a corner of my mind. "So what do we
tell your family about our relationship? How long have we been dating? How did we meet?
What's your favorite position?" I added that last one only to tease him, but it worked a little better
than intended. In response to my question, Ben dug his fingers into the fur of the cat, who
immediately jumped up and slapped his cheek, claws out.

I cringed. That looked painful.

"How bad is it?" Without even thinking about it, I reached out to touch Ben’s cheek. Just before
my fingers connected with his skin, I stopped.

Hadn't I just decided that I wasn't going to touch Ben without his express permission? And our
charade hadn't even started yet. Why was I already acting like a concerned boyfriend?

Getting into character, I told myself.

Ben seemed frozen before me. "I'm... fine?" he said eventually, though it sounded more like a
question.

I let my hand drop, but my eyes stayed fixed on the red lines on his cheek. "You should get that
cleaned up," I decided. "C'mon." Without another thought, I grabbed his hand and dragged him
to his feet and into the bathroom. We had a few medical supplies stashed away there. I knew
there was disinfectant somewhere with my tattoo care supplies too.

"It's really not that bad," Ben insisted.

"Shush." I spotted the bottle of wound disinfectant I was looking for and squirted some of it onto
my fingers. Again, I reached out to touch Ben's cheek, but this time, I didn't stop, and he didn't
flinch away. He stood perfectly still while I treated his scratched face. "That cat has no
manners," I murmured, if only to stop myself from thinking about how weird this was. Or rather,
how weird this should be, because it didn't feel that way. It felt absolutely right for me to be
taking care of Ben.

"She's a cat," Ben replied, as if that explained everything. Maybe it did. I didn't actually know
very much about pets. My parents had never allowed me any. "Besides," Ben added, "I scared
her."

Oh yeah, I'd almost forgotten about that part. Strictly speaking, this was my fault. "I shouldn't
have teased you."

"It's okay. I just freak out too easily."

"I'll try to keep that in mind," I promised. Satisfied that I'd properly treated the wound on his
cheek, I offered him a Band-Aid.

"Okay, that's really not necessary," he declined.

"Are you sure? We have Star Wars Band-Aids."

"Why do we have those, anyway?"

I shrugged. "Someone gave them to me, I think? They're fun. I think you'd look badass with
Darth Vader on your cheek."

Ben shook his head. "No way," he said, but he was smiling now, so I chalked that up as win.

"All right."

Ben walked back to the living room and I followed close behind. "I promise I'm not gonna tease
you again," I started, "but we do still have to decide on our story. Instagram has already decided
that we fell in love the day I moved in here."

Ben spun around to me. “They have what?”

“Someone uploaded a picture of us at that club together. I’m sorry. I meant to break that to you
more gently. I only just saw it this morning, but I should have known that would happen.”

“That’s, um… it’s okay. Helps our story, right?“ Ben gave me a weak smile.
“I guess.” I smiled back at him, even if my conscience niggled at me. Every day I got
well-meaning messages on Instagram, well-wishes on my new relationships, new followers…
New followers who thought I was gay. I needed to set the record straight and tell them it was all
a misunderstanding, but what if Ben’s family looked up my Instagram account?

Besides, this was the 21st century. I shouldn’t have to disclose my sexuality. It shouldn’t matter.
My content was about my workout programs, not who I slept with.

My mind made up, I sat on the couch with Ben. Miss Daisy hissed at me as I shooed her away
from my spot. That was okay, though. She would forgive me later when I got out the tuna. For
the time being, I focused my attention on Ben. “So, what are we going to tell your family?”

Ben thought about this. "Um… Let's just tell them that we're roommates and then... I don't
know... things just happened?" He looked mildly embarrassed by his own suggestion, as if he
could see it all play out in his head.

But what exactly was he picturing?

"How did it happen?" I asked, sitting next to him, with just a little bit of distance between us. Not
as much as I'd usually give him. Sure, I'd promised not to tease him anymore, but I still needed
to get in character, right? For the next couple of days, I would have to pretend that I was madly
in love with this guy because I'd already decided that Ben wasn't going to get a run-of-the-mill
boyfriend with me. He deserved better than that, even if it was only pretend.

So I was going to be the best damn boyfriend I could be.

"I don't know," Ben said, but I could tell he was lying.

"C'mon," I prodded. "You don't have any idea at all? You're an artist, right? I'm sure you're a little
more creative than that." I inched a little bit closer to him. "Remember, we need to make this
believable."

"You think they're going to ask for that much detail?"

"Maybe not all of them, but somebody might." Besides, I wanted to know what he was seeing in
his head.

"Damn it, you're right." Ben's face went a shade whiter than it had been a second ago. "Aunt
Rosy will want to know everything."

"We don't have to tell your aunt everything, but we'll have to give her something."

"Okay." Ben took a deep breath, then rested his head in his hands for a moment before he
began speaking. "You were out late so I went to bed before you, but then I couldn't sleep, so I
went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I didn't know it, but you'd come home and jumped
into the shower. But you thought I was sleeping so when you were done, you came out of the
bathroom with no clothes on, and I was standing in the kitchen in only my boxer shorts." He
paused as if suddenly too embarrassed to speak on.

"That's not bad," I said, trying to encourage him to continue. "I knew you were creative."

"You don't think it's stupid?"

"Nah." I ruffled a hand through his hair. "If I were gay and you stood before me in your
underwear, staring at me as if you liked what you saw… Yeah, I would have jumped you.”

Ben would have been adorable, standing there, looking at me, too shy to move but too
entranced to take his eyes off my body. I would have walked over to him with a smile, and then I
would have cupped his chin and pressed a kiss to his lips.

It was a good story.

Maybe a little too good because it sent a zing of arousal down my body.

I really was getting into character here. Forget YouTube, I should move to Hollywood.
Apparently, I was so good an actor I could fool my own damn body.

Ben meanwhile looked at me as if he couldn't believe my words. Maybe I'd gone too far?
"Sorry," I said. "Didn't mean to offend you."

"I'm not offended," Ben hurried to say. "Just... surprised."

"Surprised by what?"

Ben cast his gaze aside and mumbled something I didn't catch.

"Come again?"

"I'm not some Adonis like you. You wouldn't like me if you saw me in my underwear. If you were
gay, which you're not," he added quickly.

"You think I'd only like jocks if I were gay?" I frowned at Ben. Was that how he saw me? "Just
because I like to work out doesn't mean I expect that from everyone else. I know other people
aren't necessarily as obsessed with fitness as I am. That's cool. Can you even imagine how
boring the world would be if everyone was the same as me?"

"That's not... but..." Ben stumbled over his words and stopped. "I'm just not attractive like that."
"Hey, you don't get to decide what gay-me would be attracted to." Would I be into muscles? I
doubted it. That wasn't what I looked for in girls, at least. Ben looked like his skin would feel nice
under my fingertips. Warm and soft. He looked like he would squirm if I touched him in the right
places, and that was fucking hot.

Shit, now I was picturing it. Thinking about what it would be like to undress Ben slowly and then
give every part of his body the attention it deserved while he shivered and moaned, desperate
for more.

"Evan?" Ben asked, snapping me back to reality.

"Sorry," I said. "In any case, we're going with your story. Accidental nakedness and then we
jumped each other and we lived happily ever after."

"Okay."

"And this happened just a week or two after I moved in. Everything else would be unrealistic."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I would have been attracted to you from the get-go, so I wouldn't have gone like a month
without trying to see if I had a chance with you."

"Oh." Ben's face fell. I had no idea why, and before I could ask about it, his features smoothed
over again. "Okay, we have our story now." He made to get up from the couch, but I stopped
him because something was nagging at the back of my mind.

If I wanted to play the perfect boyfriend, there was still one matter we needed to clear up. "Are
you okay with kissing in public?"

Ben froze as if he was battery powered and a circuit had just broken in his brain. Kind of like
that toy car I used to have as a kid that would just randomly stop. If anything had broken Ben,
though, it had been me.

"It's fine if you don't want that," I reassured him. "I get it."

"No, I, um..." Instead of looking at me, Ben played with the hem of his shirt. "I just hadn't thought
about it."

That was obviously a lie because there was no way Ben had thought up that whole seeing each
other naked scenario without also thinking about kissing. I couldn't be the only one whose mind
had gone there.
"I only want to know if it's okay so I don't accidentally cross any boundaries," I said. "There's
other ways we can make it clear that we're together."

"No." Ben scrubbed a hand over his face. "At some point, we're gonna have to kiss if we want to
sell it."

"Maybe we should practice once?" I suggested. "So that it'll look natural when we have an
audience."

Ben's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "You think so?" His eyes trailed to my lips, then
darted back up again as if they didn’t dare linger on my mouth. God, he was adorable. If I were
gay, I would one-hundred percent have gone for him.

It was a mystery to me that he didn't have an actual boyfriend to bring to this wedding.

"Let's just kiss once," I prompted. "That should be enough."

Ben seemed a little hesitant, but agreed. "Do you um... Are you going to...?" He didn't finish his
question, but I knew what he wanted to ask; who of us was going to take the lead, because it
was getting a tiny bit awkward. I'd leaned in a little and so had he, but neither of us was moving.

I gave Ben another smile to quiet his nerves. "If you want me to, I will." With that, I rested my
hand on the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss.

Couldn't be too different from kissing a girl, right?

In a way, it wasn't. Lips were lips. In another way, though, it was nothing like kissing a girl. At
least, it wasn't like kissing any girl I'd ever been with. Because Ben wasn't like anyone I'd ever
been with. The moment our lips met, it was as if I could feel him surrender to me, offering
himself up to me in a way no one had done before. As if he were already mine. His lips were
soft and his mouth fell open just a fraction of an inch on an exhale, as if he just couldn't help
himself. I wanted to run my tongue along his lower lip, coax his mouth to open up for me and let
me in.

This was supposed to be fake, but damn if it didn't feel real.

Then again, it was a real kiss, so maybe it wasn't weird for me to be reacting the same way I
reacted when I kissed other people. I'd spent years training my body to expect kisses to be
followed up by heavier action. So was it really any surprise that I was getting aroused?

My brain knew that I was kissing my roommate, but the rest of my body sure didn't.

I broke away before evidence of this fact could become too obvious.
No need to make Ben any more uncomfortable with all of this than he already was.

"That was all right," I made myself say, a fake smile plastered on my face to hide the storm of
confusion raging in my head.

"Uh, yeah, that..." Ben looked down and away. "I guess it was okay." He had his hands folded in
his lap.

Wait, had he also...?

Before I could be sure, he jumped up and left the living room with his back to me. "I gotta finish
up packing," he claimed, even though he'd already done that this morning. He'd told me.

I didn't call him out on his lie. After all, I could use a moment to myself too.

I'd just kissed a boy and I'd liked it.

But that didn't have to mean anything, did it?

It was just hormones, right?

9
Ben
I had absolutelyno idea how I was going to survive the next five days. We had barely just arrived
at the airport and already I was a sweating, bumbling mess. Part of it was Evan's fault too. He’d
bought some new clothes for this trip—and ironed them too! And he looked absolutely fantastic
in his dress shirt, the pure white of it contrasting with the colorful ink on his skin.

And that cologne he’d put on… I loved that smell. Something warm and woodsy that made me
want to lean into him. And lick him.

"Let's show your family what a catch you made," he'd said. I'd only nodded because there hadn't
been any actual thoughts in my brain at that point. It had been scrambled. Like the eggs we'd
had for breakfast that morning and which I'd barely managed to get down my throat.

"Someone's waving at us," Evan said, pulling me back into the present.

Toto gave a short bark in his carrier, and I looked up to see my sister approaching with her
husband-to-be. We were going to be taking the same plane. Yes, my family had money, but that
didn't mean we wasted it needlessly. At least, we didn't waste it needlessly all the time.

"That's Charlie and her fiancé," I informed Evan. "His name is Walker."

"They look nice."

I nodded. "My sister is awesome, and Walker is all right, I guess."

Evan chuckled, and then he slipped his arm around my waist.

"We don't have to fool them," I muttered. "Charlie is in on this, remember? It was her idea."

Evan only shrugged and left his hand exactly where it was. "It's easier if I stick to my role all the
time. Otherwise I'll just screw up in front of someone else later."

He probably had a point there, and besides, I kind of liked the feel of his hand on me. Okay, that
was a massive understatement. The only problem I had with his situation was that I didn't want
to pop a boner in front of my sister and if Evan kept this up...

I adjusted myself as sneakily as I could.

"You guys got here early!" my sister greeted me, a big grin on her face.

"If it had been up to Ben, we would have left the house two hours ago," Evan said.

"Better too early than too late," I defended myself.

Charlie's smile didn't falter. "Yeah, that's my little brother." She ruffled a hand through my hair as
if I were still five. I tried not to scowl like a five-year-old whose pride had been hurt. After another
second, my sister lost interest in me anyway, choosing to study my 'boyfriend' instead.

"You look even better than you do in the pictures," she said.

Evan laughed while Walker poked my sister in the side with his elbow. "You'll be marrying me,
remember?" he stated, but his tone was good-natured.

Charlie gave her fiancé a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm only making an observation. Don't worry.
He's still not as hot as you are, and besides..." She leaned in to whisper something into his ear. I
couldn't hear what it was, but I could venture a guess by the way Walker's eyebrows rose.
Something dirty for sure.

"Thanks for letting me come along to your wedding," Evan said. "I googled pictures of the resort.
It looks amazing."

"Don't be getting your hopes up too high," Charlie warned. "You'll be sharing that resort with my
family."

"Ben's said something similar. Really makes me wonder about your family."
"Oh, you'll see soon enough," Charlie waved him off. "I intend on having an excellent wedding
anyway, and you're very welcome to be there for it." Her lips quirked up again. "I can't wait for
Mom to meet you." A mischievous glint showed in my sister's eyes. I, on the other hand, was not
so sure what to think about Evan meeting our mom.

Especially since she would be thinking he was my boyfriend.

It was going to be a disaster.

Suddenly, Evan pulled me closer to himself. "No need to get so tense," he said. "We're in this
together, okay?"

Were we, though? I wasn’t so sure. This wasn't his family. He would get to walk away after all of
this. Hell, we wouldn't even be roommates anymore after this. He'd fuck off to some other town,
and I'd still be here. Still related to my family.

Why in the hell had I ever agreed to this plan?

Because it felt really nice when Evan was holding me like this. That was why.

I suppressed a sigh and took a deep breath instead. It would all be okay. Somehow. All I could
do was try to make the most of this week. If Evan put this much effort into sticking to character,
why shouldn't I?

Why shouldn't I let myself enjoy this while it lasted?

Forcing myself to relax, I leaned into Evan. "Yeah, okay," I said. "You can fight my mom for me,
and I’ll fend off the rest of the family."

Evan smiled. "That's the spirit."

I smiled right back. I couldn't help myself. Evan's smile was gorgeous. I wanted to kiss him.

Could I get away with that?

It had been amazing when he'd kissed me the day before.

"Wow," Charlie said. "You guys are sickeningly sweet. You'll have no issue convincing the rest of
the family." She grinned. "This is going to be awesome."

I wasn't so sure of that, but I made myself agree anyway. "Yeah… awesome."
10
Evan
Takingcare of Ben came surprisingly naturally to me. I'd worried about my ability to play a gay
boyfriend, but if Charlie's reaction was anything to go by, this was going to be a piece of cake.

Or so I thought until it came time to board the private jet. Just before we got on the plane, two
more wedding guests caught up with us. Someone Ben introduced as his cousin Oliver, and
Oliver's girlfriend. Jenny.

Problem was, I didn't know Jenny as Oliver's girlfriend. I knew her as my ex. The girl who’d
dumped me shortly before I’d left my hometown.

And she recognized me too. Of course she did.

Her mouth formed into the shape of a perfect O when her eyes fell on me. "Evan." She tried to
force a smile, but it didn't look natural in the least. "I didn't expect to see you here." Her gaze
wandered back and forth between me and Ben.

“You two know each other?” Ben asked.

“We, um…” Wow, it wasn’t often that I fumbled for words, but now was one of those rare
moments.

“We used to date back in high school,” Jenny said. Obviously she didn’t have as much trouble
articulating her thoughts as I did. “For a short time,” she added before focusing her attention on
me again. “I had no idea you were coming to the wedding.”

“I’m here with Ben.” I laid an arm around my ‘boyfriend’s’ shoulder.

"Are you...?" She let the question hang, but it was clear what she was trying to ask.

Was I gay now?

Had I always been gay?

"Bisexual," I said, surprised at the guilt that nagged at me, following those words. I hadn’t
thought it would be a problem to lie to Ben’s family because they sounded kind of awful, but
lying to Jenny? That didn’t feel right. Even if we’d broken up, we’d been good together for a little
while. Maybe if I hadn’t moved… if the circumstances had been different…

But now she had someone else. My eyes flicked to Oliver’s arm around her waist. The two of
them made a cute couple. Even if she was taller than him in her heels.

"I see," Jenny said after a moment. "That's uh... Good for you."
I nodded at that, because what could I say?

Thankfully, Charlie was there to put an end to this awkward situation. "C'mon, let's board the
plane," she ushered us on. "We have a wedding to get to. My wedding."

"Our wedding," her husband-to-be reminded her.

She shot him a grin. "Yeah, sure."

I laughed at the two and their easy-going relationship. That was exactly what I wanted for myself
someday. Not with Jenny, but maybe someone else?

***

Flying on a private jet sure was different. Instead of being crammed into a too-small seat and
awkwardly bumping into your neighbor whenever you wanted to get up, we had space here. We
had couches to lounge on—and we could let Toto out of his carrier to lounge with us too.

Before take-off, I checked my phone.

"Updating your Instagram?" Ben leaned over my shoulder to ask.

"Something like that," I responded, because I didn't want to tell him that I was actually checking
on the post I'd made about how best to pretend I was gay. There'd been some messages in my
inbox telling me that new comments had been added. I was almost a little reluctant to check.
With good reason, as it turned out.

Someone called CollegeStudButt had posted a comment that read: 10 bucks say this dude has
the hots for his roommate.

Another user by the name of Bounce-and-Pounce responded: I'll take your bet and double it.
They'll be banging by the end of the week.

It was the third and last comment that I empathized with the most. It had been made by
Cucumbers4Life, who'd helped me before. He'd written: Jesus Christ, you people. Not everyone
is gay. Not even if I fucking wished they were.

I tapped on the link to reply and wrote: Cuke is right, I'm not gay, but I'll take your money any
day.

"We're about to take off," Ben said, tapping my shoulder. I switched my phone into flight mode
and pocketed it.
"What are you looking forward to the most?" I asked to distract myself from the weird internet
strangers who thought I must be wanting to fuck my roommate.

My roommate who wasn't even going to be my roommate for much longer. Something about
that thought made my chest draw tight, but I couldn't rely on Ben's kindness forever. It wouldn't
be right.

You could just use all that ignored money in your trust and use it to pay him rent,a voice in my
head said, but I ignored it. That wouldn't be right either. I was never going to touch that money.

Besides, I needed to keep moving.

"I'm not sure what I look forward to the most," Ben said. "I think the view's going to be nice,
though."

"The view?" Charlie asked incredulously. "I hope you mean the view of your big sister tying the
knot."

"I bet that's not even what you're looking forward to the most," Ben shot back. "You already told
me it's the open bar and the infinity pool."

"Please, I can have those things anytime I want. I only get to order everyone in this family
around on my special day once."

Ben scoffed. "As if you can't take the role of the tyrant any other day."

Charlie pretended to look hurt, but broke out into a smile only a few seconds later. I almost had
to laugh. It was fun to see Ben squabble with his sister. Reminded me of my own little sister
back home. How long had it been since I'd called her? Too long, probably. I shove the thought
aside to focus on Ben. I'd never known he could get like that. Maybe his sister was the only one
who could bring it out in him. The only one he felt comfortable enough to bicker with. He'd
certainly never done it to me.

Already I was starting to wonder how I could get him to.

At my feet, the floor of the plane started to vibrate as we rolled down the tarmac. Toto barked
once, then again, frantically, as if to ask, "What is this madness?"

"It's okay, buddy," I said, but he didn't quiet until I rested a hand on his back. He was a good
dog, just... easily excited, easily startled, and with a mind of his own. I was glad we were able to
bring him along. If we'd left him with a sitter, the way we’d done for the cat, he'd likely have torn
either Ben's apartment or the sitter's place apart.
"How long is the flight going to take?" I asked Ben.

"Long enough for you guys to join the mile high club," Charlie said before Ben could even
answer.

Ben glared at his sister even as his cheeks went red. "I wouldn’t... That's not... Jesus, you're
impossible."

"I'm not only impossible, I'm also already a member," Charlie said as if this was something to be
proud of. "Global membership. Did it over every continent."

"No details please."

Oliver cleared his throat, but Jenny looked like she wanted to be laughing even as she
pretended to be very interested in a magazine she'd brought on board.

"You think we couldn’t do it?” I asked Charlie.

“Not saying you couldn’t…” She let the sentence hang, but the challenge in her voice was
obvious. "Bathroom is back there." She pointed, even though she knew Ben and I were only
putting on an act. Something inside of me itched to see how she'd react if I actually dragged her
little brother to the bathroom with me. "If you need condoms, I'm sure Walker has some in his
pocket," Charlie added.

I glanced at Walker, then back at Ben, who seemed to be trying his very best to pretend that he
didn't exist at all. Jesus, did he not know that he didn't have any reason to be nervous around
me--or anyone? Maybe it was time we had that conversation in private. And Charlie was giving
us the perfect out.

"Sure, we'll take those condoms."

Next to me, Ben gulped. I ignored that reaction and touched his arm. "C'mon, honey, we'll only
be gone for a minute. Well, maybe a little longer than a minute," I added with a grin back at
Charlie. Her mouth opened slightly, but she said nothing.

One point to me.

11
Ben
I couldn't believeEvan was actually taking me to the bathroom. He'd taken a pack of condoms
from Walker and... Oh God. He couldn't seriously be planning to... No, he wouldn't. He was
straight. This was all a game to him, I reminded myself.

Was I so far gone that I didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore?
Once the bathroom door shut behind us, I turned to Evan. "What the hell?"

"Relax," he said, taking another step into the bathroom and finally letting go of my hand. "Man,
being on a private jet really is different from flying commercial." He cast a gaze around what
looked like a pretty regular bathroom to me. "Have you ever flown commercial?"

I shook my head.

"Figures." He spread his arms. "The bathrooms are tiny. Joining the mile high club is an actual
challenge in one of those, and not a particularly fun one."

"Have you--"

"Nope, I haven't." He smiled. "And I know we won't be joining that club today, but let's at least
make people think we did."

"Charlie knows you're straight."

"True, but Oliver and Jenny don't."

Was that just my imagination or did his mood sour a bit when he spoke of that couple? Mine
certainly did. "I didn't expect your ex to be on board."

"Jealous?" Evan asked, but his tone suggested that he was joking, so I knew I needed to
pretend that I wasn't actually jealous. I couldn't be jealous. Evan wasn't mine. Once all of this
was over, would I even see him again? "Hey, don't look so sad." Evan stepped close again. "I'm
not going to mess this up because of Jenny, okay? You can trust me."

That wasn't what I was worried about, but I nodded anyway. "Would you like to get back
together with her, though?" I made myself ask.

"Does it matter? She seems pretty happy with Oliver. And I'm happy to be here with you," he
added, making the gap in my heart mend itself back together, even though I knew he didn't
mean it that way.

Needing to distract myself, I stepped toward the mirror and combed my fingers through my hair,
trying to flatten that stubborn curl on the top of my head that kept trying to stick up. I should
have used more gel.

"What's making you so nervous?" Evan asked.

"Everything?" I looked at him in the mirror, a little jealous of how not-nervous he seemed to be.
Then again, it wasn't going to be his family at his wedding watching his every move. "I know I
shouldn't care so much, but meeting my mom just..." I trailed off, unable to find the words I
needed to express the way my mom made me feel. Like nothing I did was ever good enough.
Like she wanted to be proud of me but I just kept falling short of expectation, making that
impossible for her and how dare I?

"Family's complicated," Evan said, sounding surprisingly sympathetic. "But you know it's not
important what your mom thinks of you, right? Or what she thinks of us."

"Easy for you to say. Your mom isn't going to be there." The moment the words were out of my
mouth, I regretted them. Evan didn't say anything, but the look he gave me... Shit, I'd upset him
somehow.

He leaned back against the wall, still silent, then got his phone out of his pocket.

"We have Wi-Fi up here," I said, only to change the topic, then immediately felt stupid. "I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have snapped, I just--"

"No, it's okay. You're right. I haven't actually seen my mom in years."

I hadn't known that. Come to think of it, Evan never spoke of his family. I didn't even know if he
had any siblings. I always just assumed that he was an only child. "Does she live far away? Your
mom, I mean."

"Up in West Virginia. That's where I'm from. I left when I was eighteen and never looked back."
Evan said it in a casual tone of voice, but the rigid set of his shoulders betrayed his true
feelings. "It was the right decision," he insisted. "They cared about money more than they cared
about me."

"I'm sorry," I said, because it was all I could think to say. I wanted to ask more questions, but
didn't want to pry either. This obviously wasn't an easy topic for Evan.

"I only wanted you to know that you have that option too," he said. "You don't have to put up
with people just because you're family, and your family doesn't have to end with blood. There's a
lot of people out there, and some of them will actually care about you. That's your family."

He made it sound so easy, but I wasn't as strong as he was. I couldn't just cut contact with my
family. The world didn't work that way. At least, mine didn't.

"You don't have to do anything," Evan said. "Just keep in mind you don't have to let your mom
walk all over you."

Yeah, in theory, he was right. Only in theory, though.

He came closer again, and rested one hand on my shoulder. "Sorry, if I went too far. We're in
this together, okay? No matter what you choose to do. I'll be here to help."

"Thank you." The words came from my heart. I was still stressed about seeing my mom again,
but in a weird way, knowing that Evan would be there too made everything just a little bit
better--which was stupid, considering it would also make my mom's reactions worse. "Let's just
not get too wild, okay? I want her to see that I have a boyfriend, but I don't want to give her an
aneurysm. I'm not Charlie."

"Got it." Evan squeezed my shoulder, causing warmth to pulse through me and gather in my
belly. Up this close, the warm scent of his cologne hit me again. I kind of wanted to turn my head
and rub my nose against his neck, he smelled that good.

But of course we weren't here to actually join the mile high club.

Hell, I hadn't even joined the non-virgin club yet.

If I spent any more time in this bathroom with Evan, though... it was going to become very
obvious that I wanted to change that. "How long do you think we'll have to stay in here?" I
asked.

Evan considered this for a moment. "A few more minutes. Trust me, we go out there now, they'll
make fun of us for our lack of stamina. We won't live it down for the rest of the trip.
Besides...You look too put together." He ran his hand through my hair, destroying the careful
work I'd put into styling it.

I protested weakly, trying to move his hand away with my own, but in the end, I only made it
worse. "Great." I stared at my reflection. "Mom's gonna love that."

"You can come back in here and fix yourself toward the end of the flight," Evan suggested. "I'll
even help you if you ask nicely." His hands went to the bottom of my shirt and pulled it out of my
pants.

"Hey!"

Evan only grinned. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Well, he certainly knew more about this kind of thing than I did.

"If we had fucked..." He trailed off, a pensive expression on his face as his fingers wandered up
my shirt to pop the first two buttons. "Yeah, that's more like it."
I took in my own reflection once more. Was this what I would look like if Evan and I had just
fucked? My hair was sticking up at odd ends and my shirt looked as if I'd hastily thrown it back
on. I bit my lower lip.

"Good idea," Evan chimed in. "Make your lips look bruised. I'd definitely have kissed you. A lot. I
like to kiss."

I swallowed, imagining that. Immediately, blood rushed down to my groin. Shit. "What about
you?" I sputtered, hanging on to any shred of composure I could grasp before I'd lose it
completely.

"What about me? My shirt is always untucked and my hair..." He reached a hand up to it. "Not
long enough to mess with much. Oh, I know." A wicked grin showed on his face. "You should
give me a hickey. I'd love to see the look on your sister's face if I came out of here with a
hickey."

I... had absolutely no idea what to say to that. My brain just threw up a blue screen, complete
with a consistent high-pitched beep where my thoughts should be.

"It's easy," Evan said as if the perceived difficulty of the task was the problem here. "Just kiss
my neck and suck on the skin a bit. I can do it to you first if you need an example."

At those words, the blue screen in my head progressed to full system failure.

"Sorry, I went too far, didn't I?" Concern showed in Evan's eyes. "I didn't mean to pressure you
into anything. I said I wouldn't." He held his hands up. "We don't have to do anything."

The longer he spoke, though, the more my brain came back online. Was I completely insane?
Here Evan was offering to give me a hickey and I wasn't screaming yes? If I didn't act now, I
was likely never going to get this kind of opportunity again. Fake or not.

"Yes," I said quickly.

"Yes, what?"

"Give me a hickey." The words left me in a rush. If I hadn't spoken quickly, I wouldn't have gotten
them out at all.

Evan brightened. "Oh good. I didn't completely freak you out."

"No, I'm good." My heart was beating faster than it ever had before and my palms were sweaty
and my pants were going to be too tight for me after this, but I didn't care about any of that. I
cared about the idea of feeling Evan's lips on my neck.
"If you're sure." Evan laid a hand on my shoulder again, his eyes boring into mine.

"It's just a hickey, right?" I tried to laugh it off, but my voice was too high-pitched to make it
sound natural.

My nerves didn't seem to deter Evan, though. "Tell me if you want me to stop," he said, and with
that, he leaned in and pressed his mouth to my neck. My skin tingled where his lips touched, a
sensation that spread to the rest of my body like wildfire. Within seconds, I was burning up. But
it was a good kind of heat. The best kind.

And then Evan started to suck.

Holy shit.

I had to bite my teeth together to stop a moan from escaping my lips. All I wanted to do was
lean back and let him have his way with me. Let him take me. Let him put his mouth on other
parts of my body.

One part in particular.

My cock twitched in my pants, wanting free, wanting in on the action.

Evan's teeth grazed my skin as he sucked a little harder. It was almost painful, but at the same
time, it felt too good to be painful. In fact, I'd never known anything could feel this good.

It was over too soon, though.

Evan's lips left my neck and I was panting. I knew I needed to explain myself and my reaction,
but damn...

Evan grinned at me. "Now you look fucked."

That was exactly how I felt too. Totally fucked. Just not in the good way. My gaze flitted down to
my pants, which were definitely tented now.

"Don't worry about that," Evan said. "I get it. I'm a dude too. You can't control that thing. I'm not
gonna judge. Besides..." His grin widened. "It's a total ego boost." Heat entered his gaze as his
eyes traveled down my body. Almost as if he felt as worked up as I did. But he couldn't, could
he?

No, that was just in my head. Wishful thinking.

"Sorry," I said, taking a deep breath. "Just give me a minute." Losing Evan's touch was like
coming up from underwater, and the worst thing was that I didn't want to. Given the choice, I'd
rather suffocate than face reality again.

"Take all the time you need," Evan said. "But keep in mind I still want one too."

I gulped, because I'd forgotten about that. "You're serious?"

"Absolutely."

If I was going to do this... it was probably best to do it straight away rather than wait... No point
in getting my erection down now if it was just going to pop up again once my lips touched Evan's
skin. "You want it on your neck too?"

"Yes, nice and visible."

"Okay." I had no idea how I managed to remain as calm as I was, how I managed to speak
words, except... it was as if I was in the eye of the storm. Chaos was raging around me, and I
would be caught up in it again once I stepped out of this illusion, but for now, I was okay. Evan
and I were going to do this, and I would deal with the consequences later, at some distant point
in the future that seemed irrelevant in the present.

The only thing that mattered now was getting my mouth on Evan.

I moved in close, hesitated.

"Go ahead." Evan's voice was low. I tried not to read anything into it as I kissed his neck. His
skin tasted just a little bit salty. I flicked my tongue over it, the whole situation surreal. This was
what I had been dreaming of, wasn’t it?

Before I could lose my nerve, I began sucking on Evan's skin as if my life depended on it, and
once I'd started--I couldn't stop. I wanted to mark Evan, to show the whole world that he was
mine, even if only for this one week.

He pulled me closer.

I tried not to read anything into that either.

It was when my leg brushed his and I felt something hard poke my thigh that my brain
short-circuited. Was that... Was he hard? I wanted to look, but that would have meant letting go
of Evan's neck, and God no, I couldn't do that. It would mean facing reality again, and I wasn't
ready for that yet. I wasn't sure I'd ever be.
"Just like that," Evan murmured in my ear, warm breath sending shivers down my spine. His
fingers wandered into my hair. His leg moved again, brushing against my cock. I gasped. My
vision went white.

And then I really had a problem.

The moment I realized what had happened, I jumped away from Evan, cheeks flushed.

I had done a lot of embarrassing things in life, but this had to take the cake, the candles and the
cutting knife too.

Evan looked at me with wide eyes. I couldn't tell if his pupils were dilated from surprise or...
something else, but he stared at my crotch.

Then again... of course he stared at my crotch. There was a fucking wet patch there after all.

"Wow," Evan said. "You didn't have to go that far, but we can definitely sell our story now."

Shit, shit, shit. "I didn't... Sorry, I don't normally... Fuck." My words weren't making this better.

"You mean you don't normally have a hair trigger?" Evan rubbed his neck, and I could see now
that I'd actually left a mark there. Even through the layers of shame blanketing my thoughts, a
hint of pride made me stand taller.

"No, I do not normally have a hair trigger." There, even my voice sounded calmer already.

"Guess you really have a thing for marking people then. Kinky." Evan grinned. I had no idea how
this situation could make him grin, but at least he wasn’t mad. Oh God…

"I can't go out like this."

"Why? You look exactly the way you should look if we'd been doing what we said we'd do."

"It's too much!"

"Okay, I get it." Evan held one hand up. "I'll get your suitcase."

"But everyone will ask why!"

"So what do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know," I admitted.

"If you take your pants off we could wash them."

"But there'd still be a wet spot then."

Evan pointed at the hair dryer next to the sink.

"You think that's going to work?" I asked.

"You have a better idea?"

I huffed, because I did not--and also because this meant I had to take my pants off in front of
Evan.

Could this day get any worse?

At least I hadn't decided to go commando that morning--not that I ever did. Don't act weird about
it, I told myself as I unzipped my pants.

If Evan had at least had the decency to look away, but no... He kept watching me as I dressed
down to my underwear, a pair of boxer briefs. If I hadn't just come in my pants like a teenager,
I'm sure my cock would have stood at attention again under his watchful gaze.

Don’t let it bother you, I told myself. Be cool.

As cool as anyone could be while washing a cum stain out of their pants, anyway. My ears
burned as I stepped up to the sink and turned the faucet on.

Definitely not how I'd envisioned this flight going.

Couldn't say that I regretted it, though.

I only wished I knew what the hell was going on in Evan's head.

12

Evan
I'd never knownthat making a dude come in his pants could be so hot. I'd never even thought
about it before, but now I couldn't stop thinking about it. The way Ben had looked, with his
cheeks all flushed and his hair tousled as if I'd actually fucked him. The way he'd tensed and
then let go, as if he just couldn't help himself. The way he'd been so embarrassed about it all...
and the way I'd kind of wanted to kiss him to make him feel better.

That was the real problem.

Something about being around Ben, about playing the role of his boyfriend, was making my
thoughts go weird. I couldn't look at him and not want to take care of him.

At least we managed to dry his pants somewhat before stepping out of the bathroom again. Not
completely dry, but enough so it wasn't obvious what had happened if you didn't stare directly at
his crotch--which I hoped none of the other people on the plane would do.

As it turned out, everyone was too distracted by our marvelous hickeys to stare at Ben's crotch,
anyway. Charlie actually hooted when she spotted mine. "Way to go, little brother," she'd praised
Ben, who'd turned slightly red again, making me want to pull him against my side... which I did.
As long as I was playing his boyfriend, it was okay for me to follow impulses like that. And as
long as I didn't have to, I wasn't going to think too hard about what any of that might say about
me.

After we sat back down, I asked Ben for the Wi-Fi password, then connected my phone to the
internet. There were new messages waiting for me. Some of my followers asking if I'd already
come up with tattoo designs for the trip, which I responded to by starting a poll for my followers
to vote on. I’d either get a compass, an anchor or a pirate’s skull. I was just about to run a
search for tattoo artists in the area when I noticed another notification on the top of my screen.

New private messages in a group chat I'd been added to. The title of the chat? #bicurious.

Dreading what I would see, I opened it to read the messages.

CollegeStudButt: You can keep us up to date here, Dragonboy. I'm really looking forward to that
twenty bucks I'm going to win.

Cucumbers4Life: Again, not everyone is gay. Rolling my eyes over here.

CollegeStudButt: Roll your eyes all you want, but we all know Dragon is going to roll over for his
roommate. No 'straight' guy goes along with shit like this.

Bounce-and-Pounce: Yeah, he’s straight. Straight as a rainbow.

I shook my head at my phone. Whoever these people were, they had way too much time on
their hands. Quickly, I typed out a message to shut them up. "Still straight as a ruler over here,
thank you very much. Things are going well between me and my boyfriend for the week. We're
about to meet the parents."

I purposefully didn't say anything about the make-out session Ben and I had just had in the
bathroom--or the way it had ended. They'd only interpret that to mean things it didn't.
Bounce-and-Pounce is typing, it said on my phone, and then another message appeared. "Sure,
you're straight. Like that guy I blew last week. He was also straight until he saw a chance to get
his dick in my mouth. Turns out his dick isn't as straight as he is."

Cucumbers4Life replied with: "Just because there's some closet cases doesn't mean everyone
is gay. Besides, what man doesn't like getting a blow job? Would you not come if you were
getting one from a woman?

Bounce-and-Pounce: "Sure I would, but I'm bi, so your point is moot."

CollegeStudButt: "Everyone's a little bi. Good luck meeting the parents, Dragon. Let us know
how it turns out."

I licked my lips, considering if I wanted to say anything in response. Eventually, I typed: "I hear
they're crazy and super critical, so I don't think I'll make a good first impression, but then, I don't
really want to."

That was at least partly a lie. As uncomfortable as it made me to admit this, I didn't want Ben's
parents to freak out, if only because I didn't want Ben to suffer. Going by what Ben had told me,
though... The likelihood of his parents accepting me with open arms was pretty much zero. Even
if I weren't allegedly gay and fucking their son, they'd scoff at my hair and tattoos. My clothes,
too, probably. I'd picked up some nicer clothes for the actual wedding, but still… they weren’t
tailor-made or anything... Next to Ben, I looked like the pauper I was.

I refused to be ashamed of that, though.

Closing the chat, I finally opened my phone's browser and started looking for tattoo artists.

***

By the time we reached the island resort, we were all a little tired and ready for dinner. Ben and I
decided that it was time to take Toto for a walk first, though. The poor dog was running circles
around us after the hours on the plane, and then on the small boat that took us from the
mainland to this island paradise--and a paradise it was.

I'd seen pictures of the place online, but nothing could compare to the reality of it. Pictures
couldn't capture the way the ocean sparkled in the soft glow of the evening sun as it warmed
your skin and a low breeze carried the smell of saltwater and coconuts into your nose.

A member of the resort staff pointed us to a sandy beach where we could let Toto run free and I
immediately kicked my shoes off to feel the sand between my toes. This, this was what freedom
felt like. Especially after a long day of traveling. Standing here now, looking out over the crystal
blue water, it had been worth it, though.
"You're going to get your feet dirty," Ben said, but he had a smile on his face.

"Who cares? We're on an island. C'mon." I took him by the arm and dragged him toward the
shore while Toto barked and ran ahead of us, into the water.

"Wait!" Ben protested, trying hard to get his shoes off in time before our feet were submerged in
the gentle waves rolling up the shore. The water was cool around my ankles. Made me want
toss the rest of my clothes and go for a swim.

But there would be time for that later.

Half an hour, Charlie had reminded us before we'd left.

We only had half an hour before it would be time for dinner with the family. Not everyone had
arrived on the island yet, but Ben's parents would be there. One more reason I was trying to get
him to loosen up a little now, while I could.

Toto splashed in the ocean, then bounded toward us again and shook himself, sending droplets
of water flying everywhere.

"Toto!" Ben complained with a laugh.

"I think he likes it here," I commented. "I do too. Thanks for taking me." On my own, I wouldn't
have been able to afford this trip for a long time, if ever.

"Having you here makes it better." Ben stalked out of the water, and then, with a big exhale, he
let himself fall back on the sand.

"You're going to get dirty!" And after he'd spent all that time fussing in the bathroom before
landing too.

"Fuck it," Ben said. For a second there, I thought I'd heard wrong.

"Just like that you don't care anymore?" I flopped down next to him, feeling myself relax as I
looked up at the cloudless evening sky above us.

"It's exhausting to care all the time." Ben spoke so quietly that I had to strain to hear him. "We
have a couple more minutes," he added. "A couple of minutes before we have to deal with my
family."

"Seven minutes in heaven?"

"Something like that." Ben closed his eyes. "I wish it could always be like this."
I wished that too. Not that we could always lay on this beach and worry about nothing. Just that
I could always see Ben in this state of mind, so carefree. Watching him like this made me smile.
Especially when Toto came up to him and licked his face from cheek to cheek.

"Toto!" Ben complained once more, but even as he tried to scold his dog, he was laughing.
Made me laugh too. This was good. This was great.

Too bad, really, that we had to leave and face the music eventually.

Ben dusted the sand off his clothes as he rose. He didn't get all of it off, but he only shrugged
when I pointed that out. "We're on a tropical island," he said. "If my mom didn't want sand
everywhere, she should have picked a different location."

"Your mom picked this location?" I thought it had been his sister.

"She knows the owner of this resort through some sort of business connection or other." Ben
said this as if it was an everyday occurrence that your family had connections to people who
owned exclusive tropical island resorts. "So we got the whole place for the wedding. Charlie
says it was a good deal."

I could only nod dumbly as he explained this. "There's not going to be anyone but us on this
island?"

"Only wedding guests," Ben confirmed.

"Jesus." I exhaled. "I knew you guys were rich, but damn."

Suddenly, Ben seemed insecure. "Is it a problem?"

"No, not a problem." I hooked my arm through his. "C'mon. Let's go and meet your family."

Ben gave me a smile, but I knew he was trying very hard not to look like someone who was
being led to the gallows.

"I'll be here for you all the way," I reminded him. "Toto as well."

Thatgot an actual smile from him. "I guess I'll be all right as long as I have Toto by my side."

"That's the spirit."

In reality, I had no idea at all if things were going to be all right or not, but I did know that I was
going to support Ben either way. I only hoped that was going to be enough.
13
Ben
I wishedwe could have gone up to our room instead of attending dinner, but Charlie insisted that
everyone who was close family--and who'd already made it to the island--made an appearance.
I'd made some stupid decisions in my life, but defying my big sister during her wedding week
wasn't going to be one of them.

A large table had been reserved for us in the hotel's dining room. My parents were already
seated at it when Evan and I came in. Charlie was there too, along with her fiancé, and I knew
that Walker's parents were going to be coming as well, but for the moment, I only had eyes for
Mom and Dad. They were sitting together, always sitting together at events like this, even
though they did their very best never to be in the same room at the same time whenever they
were in the privacy of their own, very vast, home.

Dad was studying Evan and me with raised eyebrows while my mom looked at us with an utterly
unreadable expression on her face.

"You have sand stuck in your hair, son," she pointed out after a moment.

I suppressed a sigh. We hadn't seen each other in months, but of course, those had to be her
first words to me. Even though I hadn't expected anything different, it still stung.

"We took the dog to the beach," Evan explained before I could say anything. "It's beautiful out
there. Have you been yet?" He gave my parents a wide smile, as if he was looking forward to
making friends with them. "Oh, how rude of me. I haven't even introduced myself." He offered
his hand to my mother. "Evan Stadtler. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Your son has told
me so much about you."

My mother eyed Evan's hand as if he were an alien who'd just offered her one of his slimy
appendages. "And what exactly has my son told you about me?" Her eyes wandered back to
me as she spoke. "Only good things, I hope." It was said almost like a warning, because how
dare I besmirch our family's honor.

Evan's tone, however, remained light. "Of course. Only good things," he said as he pulled out a
chair and motioned for me to sit. Stiffly, I lowered myself into the chair. Charlie sat across from
me, but her eyes were fixed on Evan, amusement shining in them.

Of course. This was all a big joke to her.

Evan slid into the chair next to me, the smile still on his face as he turned to my parents again. "I
have to say, it's so good to finally meet the family. You did an excellent job raising Ben. I couldn't
have wished for a better boyfriend."
I stared at him. How could he use the word boyfriend so casually? In front of my mom? Did he
not know that words could be bombs?

My mom smiled too, but it was the icy kind of smile that made my blood want to freeze in my
veins. "Boyfriend? I see.” Her eyes darted to me before focusing on Evan again, studying his
tattoos with a look of disdain. “My son has never mentioned you before, Evan. He can't be very
serious about you." She turned to Charlie. "You're okay with your brother bringing his boytoy to
your wedding?"

"Ben and Evan are very serious," Charlie insisted.

"Please," our mom waved her off. "They can't be. This is only a phase that Beauregard is--"

"It's not a phase, Mom." All heads turned to me as I cut her off. This wasn't usually my style, but
I was so sick of hearing those words. Under the table, Toto brushed against my leg as if he
knew I needed the support, but nobody else moved.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Beauregard," my mom insisted. "You're still a child."

So that was what her response was going to be. After everything, she still wasn't going to take
me seriously. Of course not. Why would she? She would berate me for this wedding for weeks
to come, and then, once Evan had moved on, she would start in on her campaign to see me
married to a girl again.

It was all so fucking pointless.

Before I could say anything more, though, a couple of waiters came by our table to serve food. I
didn't even look down to see what it was. Something fancy and expensive, no doubt about that,
but what did it matter when my appetite was gone.

Nobody spoke while we were being served, but once we were in relative privacy again, Evan
addressed my parents again. "Ben isn't a child anymore," he said, and although I was grateful to
him for trying to defend my honor, having him speak for me didn't exactly make me look any
more grown up.

"Evan--"

He held a hand up to shush me, then spoke on. "If Ben were still a child, I'd get into serious
trouble for some of the things I've done to him." A wicked grin took over Evan's face while my
insides knotted into a ball as I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Trust me, I'm no cradle
robber," Evan insisted. "And your son is one hundred percent not interested in girls, so you can
stop trying to hook him up with a vagina."
My mother's mouth fell open. She wasn't wearing pearls, but I'm sure if she had been, she
would have clutched them now. She turned to me. "Are you going to let him talk to me like that?"

Was I? Maybe? "I, um… He’s kind of right, though," I said weakly.

My mother shook her head at me and the disappointed expression on her face make me want to
shrink in on myself. "Your guest is being very rude," she said to Charlie.

My sister shrugged her shoulders as if there was absolutely nothing she could do about this
whole situation. "Sorry, Mom, but I agree. Ben's not going through a phase. It's time for you to
accept that."

Mom huffed, then rose from the table. "I can see I'm not welcome here. I thought I could enjoy a
nice dinner with my family after not seeing you children in so long, but it's clear you don't care
about your mother's feelings."

She left the room before Charlie or I could say anything. Not that there was anything to say
once she got in a state like this. I glanced at my dad, but since there weren't any non-family
members present, it seemed he wasn't going to pretend to care enough to go after her.

"Well, let's eat, shall we?" he asked instead.

With a nod, I finally looked at my plate. We were having steak tonight. It was good steak too.

It was only too bad I couldn't get myself to enjoy it at all.

14
Evan
After dinner,we were finally allowed to retire to our rooms. Honestly, though, calling the suite
we'd been given a 'room' didn't do our accommodations justice at all. My mouth fell open the
moment Ben opened the door--and it stayed open for quite some time as I took in the space.
The furniture was luxurious of course, but I'd expected that from this kind of high-class resort.
That wasn't what made me gape. It was the view. Even the ceiling to floor windows of Ben's
apartment paled in comparison to this.

In short, there was no window at all. The room didn't end. There was no fourth wall. Only a
wide-open space with a pool set into the floor and a view of the island's mountains. It was dark
now, but I was sure the hilltops would look absolutely stunning lit up by the morning sun.

"This is a hotel room?" I asked, dumbly.

"Yeah." A weak smile tugged on Ben's lips at my reaction. "It's pretty amazing, huh?"

"That's an understatement."
I watched as Toto took in the room as well, sniffing at the bed, then the fruit bowl on the low
table in the room's center, before jumping into the pool with a huge splash. "That dog is really
into water."

"Maybe he was a sea lion in a previous life," Ben mused.

Nodding, I took off my shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" I shot back, shrugging out of my pants as well. "Exploring the
amenities."

"But..." Ben trailed off. When I glanced at him, he was looking just a little flushed. What,
because I was stripping down? He'd seen me in my boxers before, hadn't he? We'd shared an
apartment for months...

"C'mon," I tried to encourage him to join me. "Exercise is a great stress relief. I don't know about
you, but I can use that right now." As much as this looked like paradise, it definitely wasn't. Not
while Ben had to deal with people like his mother. God, that woman. Anger seared through me
just thinking about her.

No, no time for that now. I was going to cool off.

"Make room for me, Toto," I said as I lowered myself into the pool, even though there was more
than enough space for me and the dog. I could swim laps in this thing, no problem. How much
would a night in this room cost if I actually had to pay for this, I wondered. Probably more than I
made in a month.

The dog yapped and paddled up close to me. I grinned. "Good dog." Patting him, I glanced back
at Ben, who was still standing in the middle of the room as if frozen to the floor. "Gonna jump in
with us? There's plenty of room."

"I thought maybe I'll just, um..." He gestured at the bed--of which there was only one. We were
going to have to share it later. The thought suddenly made me very glad that my lower body was
submerged underwater.

Seriously, what was it about Ben that scrambled my brain to this degree?

And why could I not just let this drop? Damn it, but I wanted him in the water with me.

"You do know how to swim, right?" I teased. "If not, I could teach you."
"I do know. I had a trainer as a child."

"A trainer?"

"He taught me and Charlie," Ben explained. "I'm not a fantastic swimmer or whatever, but I can
swim."

"Prove it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really." I let myself drift on my back, looking up at the night sky. The light in the room was
on, but it didn't reach all the way to the edge of the pool. Where I was now, the sky looked
incredible. Like nothing I had ever seen in the city. "Trust me, this is amazing. There's so many
stars."

"Okay, fine."

When I glanced at Ben again, he was in the process of taking his clothes off. There was still
something hesitant about his motions, but he didn't stop. And I couldn't take my eyes off him.
Not even in exchange for a view of the night sky.

Damn, but I wanted to run my hands over his naked skin.

Would he let me do that?

We weren't actually a couple.

And I shouldn't want to touch him.

Something about this whole charade was seriously messing with my mind, and I couldn't use
Ben as a guinea pig to satisfy some newfound curiosity I'd never known I was capable of. Still, I
watched him as he sank into the pool with me but kept his distance.

I gestured for him to come closer. "You can't see the stars from there."

Slowly, he swam toward me and Toto. His gaze went up to the sky. "It really is beautiful out here.
It's a shame this isn't a real vacation."

"We can make it one."

"You're still saying that even after that dinner?"

"Don't think I can't handle your parents. At least your dad seems pretty chill."
"My dad's a non-person."

I raised an eyebrow at Ben. "What do you mean?"

Ben sighed, then lay on his back as well, drifting next to me. "He's just... he never does
anything. It's like he doesn't have an opinion about anything other than work. If he has a
personality, I haven't discovered it yet. He’ll take my mother's side on anything as long as she's
around. Says he's not interested in drama, and that we should do the same. It's always been
like that."

"So he doesn't want to rock the boat." I splashed my fingers in the water, causing small ripples.

"Yes."

"Here's the thing, though. The boat is already rocking. Your mom is the one rocking it. Your dad
is steadying it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that your mom doesn't have to cause any drama over your sexuality. She chooses to,
anyway. And you're all supposed to keep the boat steady while she's throwing her little temper
tantrum. That's what your dad has learned to do, and what you and your sister were raised to
do." I kicked my leg out, causing more waves as I thought back to Mrs. Bentley's dramatic
disappearance from the dinner table. "I bet your mom doesn't like it as soon as things aren't
about her."

"I've never looked at it that way," Ben admitted, staring up at the sky.

"You wouldn't think to. It's an outsider's perspective."

"But if we stop steadying the boat, we're all going to drown."

"Nah." I splashed a little water in Ben's face to make him look at me. "You know how to swim,
don't you?"

He huffed a laugh. "Now you're oversimplifying. Also, you're getting that back." He pushed one
of his hands out toward me, sending a wave of water rushing my way. I let it wash over me, then
shook my head and wiped my eyes.

"I guess payback is only fair." I swam back and kicked with both of my legs to splash him again.
He dove under the water to escape. A second later, his hands wrapped around my legs and
pulled me under too. I went down with a gasp.
Thathad been unexpected.

Ben was laughing when I came back up. "Charlie used to do that to me."

"That's where you learned how to play dirty?"

Ben grinned, and I was struck by how handsome it made him look. How badly I wanted to pull
him under the water in return and...

I took a deep breath.

"I think it's time to get out of the water and dry off." Before I would get hard thinking about my
roommate's wet body. Jesus Christ.

"Oh, okay," Ben agreed, suspecting nothing.

He was so damn sweet--and I needed to stop sexualizing him.

Getting out of the water, I found some towels on a hanger on the wall near the pool and dried
off. On the way to the bed, I fished my phone out of my pants pocket and unlocked the screen.
More new messages in that chatroom, but right now, I wasn't dreading them. The guys in the
chatroom weren't my friends or anything, but they were someone to talk to, and just this
moment, I desperately needed that.

Quickly, I scanned the messages that had been posted since I'd last looked.

Cucumbers4Life: How did the meeting with the parents go?

Bounces-and-Pounces: Are you going to share a bed tonight?

Cucumbers4Life: Shut up, Bouncy.

Bounces-and-Pounces: Make me.

I suppressed a laugh at the conversation before typing out my response. "Meeting didn't go so
great. His parents are total assholes. Kinda expected that, but still. Also, yes, we are sharing a
bed tonight.

Putting the phone down for a second, I inspected the bed. It was a pretty big bed. Ben and I
wouldn't be forced to cuddle up to one another or anything. With a sinking feeling, I realized that
part of me was disappointed by that. I picked my phone up again.

"Hey, Bouncy," I typed, "do you really think that everyone is bisexual?"
Bouncy immediately cheered in response to my text. "Woot, woot, things are happening. I knew
it!"

Cucumbers4Life: What exactly is going on? Because you know a little curiosity doesn't change
your sexuality.

Was that what this was? A little bit of innocent curiosity? It might be. After all, I'd been straight all
my life.

Once I got to San-Fran, I decided, I’d visit another gay club and experiment a little. Get this out
of my system. As I watched Ben dry himself, though, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad at the idea
of San Francisco. That was going to be several hours away from where Ben lived.

But that was my life, wasn't it? Always moving. That was what I liked, that was how I wanted to
keep it. Besides, Ben didn't need me mooching off him any longer.

When Ben turned to look my way, I tapped on my phone again. "I kissed him and I liked it," I
typed into the chat before I could think any further about it. What did it matter if these strangers
on the internet knew? They might even have helpful advice.

Cucumber's response came only seconds later. "Do you want to do it again?"

Good question. My gut response was yes, but once my brain got involved, things became a little
muddier than that.

Starting anything with Ben right now would not be a good idea for multiple reasons.

Deciding that I was going to need more time to think about it, I put my phone aside while Ben
took a set of pajamas out of his suitcase.

"You're going to be too hot in those," I pointed out. We were in the tropics, after all.

"I'll be okay," he insisted.

I gave him a shrug. "Your decision."

Ben went into the adjoining bathroom to change. Meanwhile, Toto hopped up on the bed and
got the sheets wet with his fur. Amazing. We should have dried him off too, but knowing him,
he'd only have jumped straight back into the pool once we were done.

"Guess it can't be helped," I muttered to myself as I patted the space next to me. Toto lay down
in the spot, wagging his tail and sending more droplets of water over the sheets. I huffed at him,
but couldn't really get mad. It wasn't like he knew any better.
"Time to sleep," I told him, and then I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes, hoping to
nod off before Ben came back into the room.

I managed, but I fell asleep to thoughts of him, anyway.

15
Ben
I couldn't sleepall night. Not with Evan in the bed with me. I thought about lying down on the
couch instead, but that would have looked weird too. What if Evan woke up before me and got
offended that I didn't want to share a bed with him?

No, I had to stay where I was, my eyes closed and listening to the sound of my roommate's
even breaths. His and Toto's. They were both sleeping and perfectly fine with this situation.

I crept closer to Evan. A faint whiff of chlorinated water came off him, but buried underneath that
was his very own scent, thick and warm and musky. I drew in a deep breath, wishing I were
brave enough to cuddle up to him.

Could I pretend I hadn’t meant to? That I’d been asleep?

For a few minutes, I let the fantasy play out in my mind, that I’d snuggle up to Evan and he’d lay
an arm around me and I’d go to sleep cocooned by his warmth.

I cringed at my own thoughts. How sad was I that I fantasized about his arms rather than his
dick?

With a sigh, I rolled on my back, forced my eyes shut and tried to go to sleep, even though I
knew I never would. Not like this.

Around five in the morning, I gave up and climbed out of bed. The sun was starting to rise in the
distance, the sky above the mountains turning a light pink. I sat on the edge of the pool and
watched, dangling my feet into the cool water.

Tomorrow night was the rehearsal dinner. My whole family would be there. Not just my sister
and my parents but my grandparents, my aunts and uncles and cousins too. Charlie said it
would be fine. I wasn't so sure.

Dipping my hands into the pool, I splashed some water on my face.

Don't freak out,I told myself. Evan was right about that whole boat-steadying thing. I'd done it all
my life; I could do it for one more dinner.

Or not.
Maybe I'd send my mom storming out of the room again. Like last night. I needed to apologize
for that when I saw her later today or she would... be difficult. I sighed to myself, because I didn't
like accommodating my mother's 'temper tantrums', as Evan called them, but taking a stand was
easier said than done. I'd tried it last night, and I'd accomplished nothing. If I took it any further,
she'd stop talking to me. Eventually, she might even kick me out of my apartment or stop paying
my tuition.

I might be an adult on paper, but in reality, my parents still held all the strings.

Letting myself fall on my back, I exhaled a long stream of breath. This was my life, and I knew
the role I had to play in it. This whole idea had been stupid from the start.

Later, I would talk to Evan and let him know to dial things down for the rest of the event. My
mom was right, after all. This wedding wasn't about me. It was about Charlie, and all attention
should be on her. Not on me and my fake relationship.

***

When the sun peeked over the top of the mountain, Evan stirred. His brows wrinkled and then
his eyes opened, slowly.

"Good morning." I sat on the other side of the bed, watching him. "You wanna get room service
or go down for breakfast?"

"Can't think before coffee."

I gave him a smile, and a cup of coffee. The room had an excellent coffee machine. I'd already
enjoyed a cup or two myself.

"You're an angel sent from above," Evan murmured as he sat up to accept my offering.

His words sent a trickle of warmth down my chest, even though I knew they were the words of a
deprived coffee addict, rather than the words of a true lover. "I've been thinking," I made myself
say before I could lose my nerve. "Let's keep things quiet for the rest of the trip, okay?"

Evan sat up a little straighter at that. "Was yesterday too much?"

"I just don't want to upset anyone."

"They're upsetting me." Evan took a sip of his coffee, then lowered the mug. "Sorry, I know this
isn't about me. It's just hard watching your mother take you down. I couldn't help myself."
"I know, and I'm glad you care," I hurried to say, "but all of this should be about Charlie and her
wedding. I don't want to take up all the focus. Just let them talk. It doesn't matter." After all, they
weren't going to say anything I hadn't heard before. I could put up with it for a few days and then
go back to my quiet, drama-free life.

A life that would very soon not include Evan anymore.

"Let's just try to enjoy our time here when we can," I found myself saying. "We could spend our
whole day in our room. The rehearsal dinner isn’t until tomorrow."

I had made that plan without Toto, though. Already the dog was tugging on the hem of my pants,
as if to say, "Play with me, humans! Feed me! Entertain me!"

"We'll have to take him to the beach again," Evan said, motioning at the dog.

"Yeah, I guess we can't spend the whole day in our room."

"It'll be fine." Evan put his mug aside, rubbed some sleep out of his eyes, and stretched while I
tried not to stare at the expanse of his naked chest, or the tattoos that adorned his skin. There
was a tribal tattoo on the left side of his lower belly, part of it slipping beneath the waist band of
his boxers…

Apparently, I wasn't very good at not-staring, because Evan noticed my interest. "Like what you
see?" He said it jokingly, but there was an undertone to his voice that gave me pause.

Was he suspecting something?

No, he couldn't. I hadn't said anything.

But I had made a mess in my pants when I'd given him that hickey. Even now, the memory
alone made my cock want to rise up again. Quick, think of something else, I told myself. "I've
thought about getting a tattoo," I sputtered.

"Yeah?" One of Evan's eyebrows went up in surprise. "What kind?"

"Just something small." Something that I could easily hide when I was around my family. "I'm not
sure."

"You should go for it." Evan grinned. "Be warned, though. You can't stop at one. It's addictive."

"Yeah, I can tell." I allowed myself another look at Evan's body while he got out of bed and
picked clothes out of his suitcase. The curve of his ass looked perfect when he bent over like
that. I licked my lips, reminding myself that it was okay to look, but not to touch.
After all, I didn't want to have another accident. I only wanted to survive the rest of this 'vacation'
without any more drama.

I really should have known that wasn't in the cards for me

16
Evan
We madeit down to the beach without running into any members of Ben's family, or if we did,
they didn't care enough to stop us. So far, this was shaping up to be a lovely day. Sunlight
streaked over the horizon and made the white beach look every bit the tropical paradise it was.

"We could stay out here instead of going back in," I suggested.

"Nah, someone would find us sooner or later."

"You mean they won't find us in our room?"

Ben sighed. "Just hoping to stay out of trouble."

"Well, I'm going to take some pictures." Visiting a beach this beautiful and not sharing the
experience with the world would be criminal, after all. "Maybe I should film my new video here."

"A new video?"

"Just an exercise routine I've been working on," I informed Ben. "No equipment or anything, just
bodyweight. That's been trending recently, and I got some new followers to impress."

Ben nodded as if he understood, even though I could tell he didn't.

"You should try it sometime," I told him.

He looked down on his body as if I'd just told him that he desperately needed to tone up--which
he didn't. Yes, I wanted my own body to look firm, but that didn't mean I held everyone else to
the same standards. "You look fine," I said before he could get down on himself--and before I
could think about the words leaving my mouth.

It was worth it for the smile that bloomed on his lips, though. It stayed only for a second before
he hid his joy away, but I knew what I'd seen.

I wanted to see it again too.

“We should take a picture together,” I suggested.

“For your Instagram?” Ben didn’t seem convinced this was a good idea. “You haven’t told them
we’re not actually a couple, have you?”

I shrugged. “Do you want to blow our cover?”

“No, but I don’t want any more pictures of me online either.” His toes dug into the sand by his
feet as he glanced down. “I don’t like that kind of attention.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to.”

Ben nodded, then turned away from me to call for his dog as if he needed to distract himself.
Toto had run ahead, though, and, as always, wasn't listening. "I swear, he just loves to ignore
me," Ben muttered.

Meanwhile, I turned on my phone's camera and took a picture of the glittering water. We
definitely needed to go for a swim in the ocean later. "You think we could take a boat to the
mainland?" I asked Ben. "Or would your family follow us there too?"

Ben shot me a glance over his shoulder while still trying to get his dog to come to him. "I wanna
be here in case Charlie needs anything. But you could go if you want to look for a tattoo place."

"And leave you here on your own? No way." The tattoo could wait.

Ben gave me another soft smile. "I've dealt with my family on my own for years. I'll be fine."

"Maybe, but I promised my support and I don't break my promises." I took another picture, this
time of Ben, with the ocean in the background. By some stroke of luck, I managed to capture
the exact moment his lips curved up in response to my words. It was a stunning picture. "If you
ever sign up for one of those dating apps, I got the perfect profile pic for you."

"What?"

I motioned for him to come over and take a look. He frowned at my phone.

"You really think I should sign up for dating apps?"

I shrugged. "Only if you want to." In reality, I did not want him to sign up for any such thing, but I
could hardly tell him that. Not while I couldn't explain that feeling.

"I don't think that's my kinda thing." Ben dug his hands into his pockets. "I'm not interested in
meeting strangers."

"Everyone's a stranger before you meet them."

"I know, but... it's weird. I don't want to go looking for guys on the internet."

"Oh, so you're more old-school. You want to be swept off your feet by a handsome man you
meet in the grocery store?"

Predictably, Ben blushed. "Maybe."

"You're a romantic, aren't you?" I teased, though I wasn't sure why I was teasing him. There was
nothing wrong with wanting romance before sex. But I enjoyed seeing the red in Ben's cheeks
deepen. He was so easy to read.

"What if I am a romantic?" Ben asked. "Is that a problem?"

"Not to me."

Ben's mouth opened, but no words came out, and then I realized how my little quip might have
sounded to him. As if I were willing to provide him with romance if that was what he needed
from a boyfriend.

"Um..." Ben turned away. "Toto!" he called again.

Again, the dog did not listen. He'd found something in the sand a few yards away and was
digging frantically. Ben sprinted toward him, to see what it was, or to get away from me. Maybe
both. Either way, I couldn't blame him. I was making this weird.

The worst thing was that I had no fucking idea why.

Before I could berate myself any further, though, an unknown voice called out to us. Or rather, to
Ben.

"Ben! Darling! Finally I've found you."

I didn't know the strange old lady coming toward us, but Ben froze at the sound of her voice. His
gaze darted to me, then back to the lady. In an instant, he seemed to have lost all interest in
what the dog was digging up. "Aunt Rosy?" His voice came out almost like a squeak.

'Aunt Rosy' either didn't notice or didn't care about the tension in Ben's body as she closed in on
her target. I had never seen anyone move that quickly with a walker. Finally, she tossed it aside
and pulled Ben into a hug, her pink hat flying off her head as she launched herself at her
nephew. "I can't believe you've finally brought someone for us to meet!" she said. "After all these
years!"
I let myself exhale, watching the scene. In spite of Ben's reaction, Rosy didn't appear to be
someone I needed to be wary of. Just an overly affectionate aunt. The thought made me smile.
Ben definitely needed someone like that in his life, even if he would never admit it.

"So nice to meet you!" I joined the conversation. "I'm Evan."

Rosy let go of Ben to grasp my hand, and then she pulled me into a hug as well. I wasn't as lithe
as Ben, but her arms nearly crushed me anyway. If hugging was a pro-sport, she would have
won a couple of trophies for sure. "Thank you for taking care of my little nephew, Evan!"

"Yeah, sure." I glanced at Ben, who was wiping lipstick off his cheek. "You don't mind that we're
both guys?"

"Oh no!" She waved her hand dismissively. "My nieces got sticks up their asses, but I don't. I
keep telling Lauren, she has to accept that her son likes boys, that's the world we live in today,
but does she listen? No." Rosy shook her head. "This one time, she invited me over for dinner
and I put on a homoerotic film after the meal. You should have seen the look on her face when
the two firemen kissed. It was priceless."

Ben's eyes grew wide. "You made my mom watch gay porn?"

"Not porn, young man." She wagged a finger at him. "It was art. Granted, your mother wasn't
cultured enough to appreciate it. I'm banned from her house now."

"Does that mean you won't join us for Christmas?"

"I'll be spending Christmas in a far more interesting location. And I got my niece a subscription
to Rainbows Weekly. A queer pride magazine delivered to her house every week, paid by me."
A wicked grin appeared on Rosy's face. I liked this woman, I really did.

Ben, however, looked as if he was about to faint at the idea of anyone opposing his mother in
this way.

"She didn't want me to come to the wedding either," Rosy went on, the smile never fading from
her lips. "But Charlie invited me, so of course I'm here. And I'm loving what I'm seeing." She
turned to me and pinched my cheek.

I stared at her.

No one had pinched my cheeks ever since I'd graduated from elementary school.

"Don't look at me like that," she said. "I won't touch you any more than that. Wouldn't want to get
into trouble with Ben now that he finally has a boyfriend." Casually, she picked her hat up,
dusted it off and set it on Ben's head, where it looked absolutely ridiculous. "And you, young
man," she stabbed a finger at his chest, "don't you dare back down now. I heard all about your
dinner last night. I don't care if my niece spends the whole wedding sulking in her room, you will
not hide the fact that you're madly in love, you hear me?"

"Yes, ma’am," Ben said automatically.

Rosy smiled at him. "Good. Now let's take a walk. You'll have to tell me everything."

"E-everything?"

My eyebrows rose up because I'd never heard Ben stutter before. It was almost kind of funny.
As Rosy hooked her arm through Ben's and leaned on him to walk, I picked up her walker and
carried it along.

"You'll have to tell me how you met," Rosy said. "How long you've been together, when you plan
to get married and how many children you plan to adopt."

I laughed at that, but Ben continued to stumble over his words. "We can hardly even take care
of our dog!" he complained.

Aw, our dog.

Speaking of... I glanced back at Toto, who'd finally excavated what he'd been digging for.

It was... a box? "What do you got there, buddy?" I asked even as I made to grab it from him. He
bared his fangs and made a growly sound, claiming his treasure for himself and himself only.
"Whoa, hey there, learn to share."

Before I could withdraw my hand, though, Rosy tossed a dog treat our way, making Toto let go
of the object in his mouth to lunge for the treat instead. I grasped the opportunity to get a hold of
the box.

"Why are you carrying dog treats around, Aunt Rosy?" Ben asked, but I only half-listened to the
conversation and the reason she gave. Something about always having the right motivator for
any man, human or not.

"There's a rubber duck in this box," I announced. A rubber duck in a pink bathing suit... and a
letter. I unfurled the piece of paper to read it. "It's a treasure map." I studied it in astonishment.
This looked like one of those things children would uncover on the TV-shows I used to watch
when I was a kid.

"A treasure map?" Ben came a little closer, while still supporting Rosy. "But who buried it?"
"I don't know. I think it might be a map of this island, though." There was an X on it too, in one of
the gray-ish areas. I wasn't sure what those were supposed to represent. The mountains?

"It doesn't look very old," Ben pointed out.

"It looks old to me," Rosy disagreed. "Look, the paper is all wrinkly. Just like me!"

Ben took the map from me to give it a closer look. "What do you think the treasure is?"

"Why don't you two find out?" Rosy suggested. "It sounds like it would be fun! A real treasure
hunt! Who knows, it could be hummus!"

While I had no idea why hummus would be a good thing, it did sound fun. "I bet the people on
Instagram would be all over it." This was exactly the kind of thing that could go viral. Without
even really thinking about it, I was already pulling out my phone to take a picture.

"I don't know," Ben said, and then he was interrupted by the sound of his phone announcing an
incoming message. "Oh no."

"What's wrong?"

Ben stared down at his phone. "Charlie wants us back at the hotel. She's got some crazy thing
planned. Damn it, she promised me she wouldn't make us."

"Make us do what?"

Ben grimaced. "You'll see."

17

Ben
I was conflicted.On the one hand, I desperately wanted to be back home in my apartment. On
the other hand, that meant getting closer to Evan leaving for San Francisco... and as I stood
here, staring at this thing my sister had set up for us, Evan's presence by my side was the only
thing keeping me sane.

"Marvel at the fire walk!" Charlie announced with a flourish. Her eyes were twinkling and she
seemed very pleased with herself indeed. "The people of this island do this to test their faith!
And their courage. And all that good stuff. But they'll share their secrets with us so you can try it
too!" She spread her arms wide and smiled as if this were a good thing.

By now, most of the wedding guests had arrived on the island. For this particular event, she'd
invited me and Evan, our parents--who stood off to the side with carefully neutral expressions--,
aunt Rosy, and our mother's sister and her family, which included Oliver and his sibling as well.
None of us seemed too keen to take on this challenge.

None except for Aunt Rosy, who seemed to think this was a grand idea indeed. She rushed to
Charlie's side as quickly as her walker would allow and clapped her on the back. "This is the
perfect thing to do before a wedding!" she said. "If you can walk through fire for your partner,
you know you can take anything life will throw at your marriage."

Charlie beamed. Next to her, her fiancé looked a little unsure. Probably because he was
realizing he couldn't back out of this activity now. Unaware of this, Charlie turned to the two
islanders she'd hired to show us the process. "We're ready!"

The islanders nodded and proceeded to prepare the walk. Hot coals had been spread over a
section of the beach. One of the men raked them, while another spread a thin layer of ash on
top of the coals, which were now giving off a daunting red glow.

A bucket of water was placed next to the walk. One of the islanders dipped his feet in it, then
approached the fire walk.

I held my breath as the bearded man touched the hot coals with his bare feet. He didn't seem to
feel any pain at all, though, as he made his way across the path. “Don’t run,” he said. “Walk
briskly, lightly.”

That couldn’t possibly be all there was to it.

"This is the way you have to do it," the man insisted, pointing at his feet. "Go quick. Don't
hesitate. Don't doubt. Doubt will hurt you."

Uh-huh. I nodded, even though none of this made sense to me.

No way was I going to test this guy's theory on my own feet. I knew myself. I was great at
doubting. Not great at walking through fires. I didn't need blisters on my feet to prove it.

To no one's surprise, Aunt Rosy was the first in line to take a shot. Charlie rested a hand on her
shoulder. "Maybe this isn't the best idea." She nodded at the walker.

Aunt Rosy only looked at her, though, then tossed the walker aside. "Pah, I'm not too old for
this. Watch me." And with that, she dipped her feet in the water and was moving across the
coals before anyone could stop her. I just stared at her in awe. For the two minutes it took her to
complete the challenge, she didn't seem to have any trouble moving at all. It almost made me
wonder why she was even using a walker the rest of the time.
At the end of the path, Aunt Rosy stood straight and pumped a fist in the air, then turned back to
us with a huge grin. "Now the young people." She glanced toward my mother. "Maybe my niece
would like to have a go?"

"Oh, we're only here to watch," my mother responded without emotion. "This activity was meant
for the kids." She didn't turn her nose up at her aunt, but I could tell she wanted to.

"Right, I forgot you don't know how to have fun," Aunt Rosy waved her off. "It's a good thing you
didn't pass that disability on to your children." With that, Aunt Rosy's gaze found me.

I gulped.

Did she expect me to walk across the coals in order to stand up to my mother?

A big-bellied laugh sounded from behind me. Uncle Walter. "He can't do it." He had a grin on his
face, but his words cut like knives, because they were true. "Ain't no way a sissy like him can
walk over hot coals. This is a man's job."

I stared blankly ahead. So everyone had heard about the dinner last night, and this was how
they saw me now. But wasn't that what I'd wanted? For everyone to acknowledge that I was gay
rather than claim that this was some sort of phase I was going through?

Did being gay make me less of a man, though?

Beside me, Evan tensed. Dread coiled in my stomach. I'd told him to play it cool, but he wasn't
going to let this go, was he? Funny, considering that he wasn't even gay. This slur hadn't truly
been aimed at him.

"You mean a sissy like me?" Evan challenged Uncle Walter.

"You're gonna do it, boy?" my uncle gave back, nodding at the coals.

It didn't take more prompting than that for Evan to get in line. I wanted to hold on to him, but
there was no holding him back. Determination was written in his eyes as he squeezed my hand,
then let go. "Not gonna let them talk like that," he said in a low tone of voice, meant only for me,
before he set to the task.

I winced as the hot coals touched the soles of his feet. A flicker of... something… crossed his
features. It was gone too quickly for me to analyze, and then he was moving. I had to force
myself not to close my eyes and look away, thinking of his poor feet.

“It’s fine,” he claimed. “It doesn’t hurt at all!” His pace was brisk, never stopping until he reached
the other side of the fire walk. And he looked damned proud of himself when he did it too.
Two equally strong emotions went to war within myself, watching him. Pride, because I was so
damn proud of Evan, and shame, because I hadn’t managed to stand up for myself, once again.
I’d needed my boyfriend to do it for me, and he wasn’t even really my boyfriend. I only wished
he was. That was the third emotion, nestled away in the back, easily overlooked, forcibly
suppressed. Longing.

For any of this to be real.

For me to be able to run across the fire walk, fall into his arms, press a kiss to his lips and have
him know that I meant it.

Didn’t he deserve to know?

I bit my lower lip, if only to distract myself from the ache in my chest as Evan caught my gaze
and smiled.

And then Uncle Walter had to go and ruin it all. "Guess we know who's the man in that
relationship," he huffed. "Guess there's always gotta be a pitcher."

My face turned red so quickly I could have taken up work as a traffic light.

"Yeah, no. Sorry to disappoint." Evan walked around the coals and grabbed my wrist. "C'mon,"
he said. "Let's go back to our room so you can pitch me a few balls." He pretended to be
whispering the words into my ears, but at the same time, he spoke so loudly that everyone
could hear.

"I uh..." In moments like this, I really wished I could be slick or quick-witted, but I was neither. I
shot a glance at my sister, who looked like she was about to go off on Uncle Walter too. Maybe
Evan and I should just leave.

"Why don't you show if you're a real man, Uncle Walter?" Charlie asked, staring at the man.

"That's not--" I tried to cut in, but Evan stopped me.

"Let the man speak."

All eyes were on Uncle Walter now. Even my mother looked mildly interested.

"Of course I'm man enough! I could do this any time." Uncle Walter stepped a little closer to the
coals and cast his gaze around as if assessing if anyone would dare challenge him on this
claim. "I don't think I have to prove that to anyone here. I'm not one of them sissies after all." He
laughed again as if this was somehow particularly funny. "Just ask my wife."
His wife, meanwhile, had distanced herself, but he didn't seem to notice that either. Now that
everyone's attention was on her, she feigned a laugh. "Very manly," she muttered.

Evan nudged me again. "C'mon, let's go."

I nodded, then tried to get my dog's attention. Aunt Rosy had slipped me a few more of those
treats earlier, so Toto kept looking my way every so often even as he went around the crowd
doing his best to sniff everyone's butts. I waited until he looked at me, then flashed him one of
the treats.

It was total coincidence that he happened to be sniffing Uncle Walter's butt as I showed him the
treat. Not planned on my part at all, no sir. Toto bounded toward me, shoving past Uncle Walter
and pushing him forward. As Uncle Walter stumbled and lost his balance, it was as if I were
seeing the accident unfold in slow motion. Horror warred with a sick sense of satisfaction deep
inside my chest as I watched my uncle topple over and land on the hot coals face-first.

And the sound that came out of his throat on impact?

Decidedly not manly.

For a second, everyone seemed to be frozen in place. Then his wife rushed forward with a
shriek, then the rest of the family moved. I stood still, just watching as people helped Uncle
Walter up, making sure he was okay. His face was red. With anger or injury, I couldn't say.

Evan tugged on my arm.

This time, I didn't fight him as he dragged me away from the scene of the crime.

***

Evan took me back to our room. All the way, he kept telling me that it wasn't my fault, and that
Uncle Walter had had it coming, and that he probably wasn't even hurt that badly anyway.

I think he even took another treat from me and fed it to Toto, who accepted it gratefully.

"I just can't believe that happened," I murmured when the door to our room closed behind us.
"This is surreal." The way Uncle Walter had fallen over kept replaying in my mind, and with
every repetition, the urge to laugh grew stronger, until I couldn't resist it anymore. Finally, in the
sanctity of our room, I let my laughter bubble out of me. "Oh my God, I can't fucking believe that
happened. Did you see the look on his face?"

Evan grinned. "Yeah, and he deserved it too."

"I shouldn't be laughing. Jesus." I wiped at my eyes. "I didn't think Toto could topple him over
like that."

"He's a very good dog." Evan petted our good boy again.

Toto barked, and in my head, I could hear him say, "Yes, I'm very good. Give me treats, all the
treats!"

"You're going to get fat," I told him, but gave in anyway, because who could resist those eyes?
"You're the hero of the day. Well, next to Evan." After all, Evan had walked over hot coals for
me. I still couldn't believe that had happened either. "How are your feet?" I asked him. "Did you
burn them?"

Evan sat on the bed and rubbed the sole of his right foot. "It's not too bad. If you go quickly
enough, it's like there's no time for your feet to burn."

"Are you sure?" I caught a glimpse of his foot, and it looked pretty red to me.

"I'll cool off." Evan got up from the bed to move over to our pool instead.

Just as he did that, a knock sounded on our door. He and I exchanged glances, then I went to
answer it.

Oliver stood in the hallway.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up at me and worried his bottom lip. "Could I um... Can we talk?" He glanced past me
into the room where Evan sat with his feet dangling in the pool. "Alone?"

"Uh..." I looked back at Evan, then nodded. "Okay. Where do you wanna go?"

"I have the room three doors down. Jenny's out," he added.

"All right." I turned to Evan. "Be back in a couple of minutes."

"Have fun," he called after me.

I doubted that I was going to have fun, though. Whatever Oliver needed to tell me, it was
obviously big. His shoulders didn't relax one bit, not even when we reached his room--which
was just as ridiculously big and fancy as ours was, including the pool and mountain view.

I closed the door behind us and waited for Oliver to speak.

"Sorry about my dad," he started. "He gets like that."

"It's okay," I lied.

"No, it’s not. He's a fucking asshole." Oliver's hands balled into fists. "He keeps going on these
tirades. It's like his favorite topic in the world. I don't even know why. It's not like he knows
that..." Oliver cut himself off as if he'd touched something hot with his tongue.

"Is he okay?" I asked. "His face and his hands, I mean..."

"He'll be fine," Oliver waved my concern off. "He'll make a big deal out of it, of course, but it'll
heal." He sat on his bed and slumped. "I'm really jealous of you."

"Jealous of me?" That was the first time anyone had said that to me. At least the first time
anyone had said that to me while not referring to my parents' wealth.

"For standing up to our family like that... bringing a boyfriend here, that takes guts." Oliver gave
me a weak smile. "You got a great guy, though."

"It was Charlie's idea. She said our mother will never get it otherwise. She's probably right." But
that didn't make me amazing or anything. I just had some amazing people in my life. "I don't
know if it's helping anything," I admitted. "Mom will go right back to her old ways as soon as
Evan's out of the picture. She'll never believe that I'm gay. Hell, I could probably get married to a
man and she'd call me every year for Christmas asking when I'll be divorced." I flinched at my
own words as the truth of them hit me.

Mom was never going to accept me. Ever.

I sat on the bed next to my cousin and let myself fall back. "Maybe it's time to stop trying so
damn hard," I murmured.

But that was a scary thought too. Without the support of my family... who would I even be? I'd
never learned how to make it in the world on my own. Like a regular person.

"You're still braver than I am." Oliver spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "I told myself I'd
tell them once I leave for college, yet here I am two years later and still..." He laughed, but the
sound was not exactly filled with joy. "Maybe I'll never get the words out."

I turned and stared at him. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

Was I not the only one in my family who was gay?

"But Jenny," I said, because it was the only thing I could think to say.
"Turns out I can't grow a beard, but I can bring one to a wedding."

"Seriously?" I sat up. "You brought a fake girlfriend? Wait, she is fake, right? She knows?" My
guts twisted at the thought that she might not know, that Oliver was pretending to be in love with
her so he wouldn't have to face his parents’ disapproval.

Although, with parents like his, I couldn't exactly blame him.

"She knows," Oliver assured me. "I'm out to my friends, just not to the rest of the world."

"I never knew." For some reason, that made me feel betrayed. My cousin and I had never been
the closest of friends or anything, but still... How amazing would it have been to know I wasn't
the only one?

"Sorry." Oliver gave me an apologetic smile. "I was pretty deep in denial about it for most of my
life. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real."

That, I understood. There were times when it didn't feel real to me either. Maybe because I'd
never gotten the chance to act on my urges. Not until that time in the plane's bathroom when I'd
unceremoniously come in my pants at the first chance of touching another guy.

A straight guy.

God, I was fucked.

Or rather, not-fucked, which was really the problem, wasn't it?

I laughed to myself before I could stop the sound rising out of my chest.

"What?" Oliver asked.

"Our family is so messed up."

"Truth," he agreed.

"Evan isn't actually my boyfriend, either," I admitted. "He's straight."

"Wait, what?" Oliver's eyes widened almost comically. "But... No way. No fucking way, man."

"Yes way." I sighed. "He'd probably rather be with Jenny than with me. Wouldn't that be funny? If
your girlfriend and my boyfriend hooked up?"

Wasn't that just the kind of ending I deserved?

"I don't think that would be funny at all. Our families would find it hilarious, though." Oliver's
words came out a little bitter, as if he'd swallowed something he'd rather spit back up. He rose
from the bed and walked over to the fridge in the corner of the room. "I think I need a drink. How
about you?"

Good question. Did I want a drink? I didn't usually enjoy alcohol, but this seemed like one of
those rare occasions that just called for it. Christmas? Eggnog. New Year's Eve? Celebrate with
sparkling wine. Your fake boyfriend getting together with your cousin's fake girlfriend? Get
fucking smashed.

"I'll have whatever you're having," I told Oliver.

The smile he gave me was brief but genuine as he poured glasses of whiskey for both of us.
"My dad used to tell me this was a man's drink," he mused, handing me my glass. "Wonder
what he'd have to say about sissies liking it too."

I did not, in fact, like it. The liquor burned down my throat as it went down and made the corners
of my eyes sting. I had to fight to keep it down without coughing, but I wasn't going to admit that.
Instead, I took another sip. If Oliver could drink this, so could I, and Oliver didn't seem to have
any trouble at all enjoying his liquor and then pouring another glass.

"I can't believe that about Evan," he said after a moment. "Are you sure?"

"Sure that he's straight? Yeah, sorry."

"That's a tragedy."

I had to agree with my cousin there. "I know. He tastes so..." I cut myself off before I could say
anymore and made myself take another sip of my drink instead. This time, I did cough.

Oliver laughed. "Maybe you should stick to wine."

"No, I'm okay." Stubbornly, I made myself empty the rest of the glass, and then I pretended that
tears weren't leaking out of my eyes.

"Take it easy." Oliver clapped my back. "Nothing wrong with preferring wine over whiskey. Any
drink you're drinking is a man's drink."

I huffed. He was right, wasn't he? I shouldn't let Uncle Walter's words get to me. "I don't really
like wine either, but I'll have a glass."

"That's the spirit." Oliver's lips quirked. "I'll get you some." Taking my glass away, he went back
to the fridge. "I could have sworn Evan was gay," he murmured as if to himself as he went. "I
mean, just the way he looks at you. I wish someone would look at me that way."
"Nope, one hundred percent straight," I insisted. "He's brought several girls over to my place."

Oliver shot me an assessing look. "That doesn't have to mean anything. Bisexuality is a thing
that exists, you know. Or maybe he's just bicurious. Or repressed, but I'm telling you, there's
something there."

I wanted to believe Oliver, but at the same time, that would be dangerous. What if I let myself
like Evan and then...?

Shit, it was already too late for that, wasn't it?

I did like Evan. In spite of the fact that he was straight.

I already didn't know how I was going to cope with the fact that he was leaving me once we
returned from this trip.

"What am I gonna do?"

I didn't realize I'd asked the question out loud until Oliver sat back down next to me and pressed
the wine glass into my hand with a sympathetic smile. "We'll have to come up with a plan to
figure out exactly how straight your man is."

Figure out exactly how straight Evan was... It was a tempting proposal. If there was any chance
at all that I could be with Evan, I needed to take it. This was not the time to be a coward. This
was the time to take a stand. And not just regarding Evan, regarding everything in my life.

Scary, yes, but what was the alternative?

Getting drunk with my cousin while hiding away from our family and bemoaning the lack of our
love lives for all eternity?

I turned to Oliver with grim determination. "Let's come up with a plan."

18

Evan
Ben was gone forever.I spent some time in the pool, then took Toto for a walk, and started
worrying when Ben still wasn't back by the time I returned to our room. What exactly had his
cousin wanted him for?

I fired off a text to his phone, but there was no response. After a couple of minutes, though, a
knock came at the door. Room service. A bellboy rolled in a tray table with champagne flutes.
"I didn't order anything," I said.

"We received a call from Mr. Bentley," the bellboy explained. "Please enjoy."

I stared at the champagne, dumbfounded. Ben had ordered room service for us. But in that
case, where was he?

My phone vibrated with an incoming text from the man in question. "Thought you deserved a
treat for your heroics today. Feel free to get started without me. I'll be a couple minutes."

I shook my head. As if I was going to get drunk by myself in our room... Ignoring the champagne
for now, I sat on the couch and scrolled through the rest of the notifications on my phone.
Someone else congratulating me for my coming out on Instagram. It didn't matter what I posted
these days. Pics of our gorgeous hotel room, the dog, or the ocean view... people kept talking
about my coming out, even though the image that had started this whole conversation had long
been removed from the platform. Never mind that I'd never 'come out' at all. Because there was
no closet for me to come out of.

Or was there?

I looked at the messages in that #bicurious chatroom again.

Did it matter that I enjoyed kissing Ben? That I kind of wanted to touch his naked body? Was
that me turning gay or was that me being stuck in some kind of fantasy world that I'd created
inside my head to fit into this role?

And how could I find out for sure?

Fuck him,a voice in my head said. That's one way to know for sure.

But that wouldn't be fair to Ben, who was a human being with feelings that I would hurt with my
experiments. Gears still grinding in my head, I rose from the couch and wandered over to the
table with the champagne without even really thinking about it. I'd only just picked up one of the
flutes when the door to the room opened.

Ben. Finally.

His cheeks looked flushed, even though I hadn't said anything to make him blush yet. "Oh good.
The room service came." His eyes darted to the champagne, then back to me, to the glass in
my hand. "Is it any good?"
I raised the flute to my lips and took a sip. "Not bad." In reality, it didn't taste like much of
anything at all, but maybe that was only because I was so distracted by the way Ben kept
staring at me.

"I've got something to tell you," he said, closing most of the distance between us until our feet
were just a breath away from touching. And then he stumbled forward, the last step of the way. I
caught him, both of my hands on his arms.

"Did you drink?"

"Not much." He shook his head, steadying himself. Then he tried for a smile. "Oliver has some
strong whiskey, though."

"You had whiskey?" I almost laughed. This was getting more and more curious.

"I prefer wine."

"Uh-huh. So what did you have to tell me, Mr. Wine-Drinker?"

Ben glanced at the flute of champagne in my hand. "Drink up first, I think you might need it."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "You want to get me drunk too?"

"Not drunk, just..." He licked his lower lip and my eyes followed the movement of his tongue.
"Just drink?"

How could I say no to him when he looked at me like that? Eyes all big and pleading. He could
have asked me to do anything in that moment. Dutifully, I raised my glass to my lips and downed
the rest of the champagne to make Ben happy. "So what's going on?"

"Jenny isn't really together with Oliver. Their relationship is just as fake as ours is."

That... it was going to take me a minute to process that. "What are you talking about?"

"She's Oliver's beard."

"But... how?"

"Turns out the gay gene runs in my family."

I blinked. Oliver was gay and Jenny was... "She's single?"

Ben nodded, his gaze on me so intense I got the feeling he was staring straight into my soul.
What was he hoping to see there? The fact that a part of me longed for another shot with the
one who got away? Or the fact that I'd recently started being a lot more interested in him than
Jenny?

"You could get back together," Ben said. "You could make her jealous." He grabbed the other
flute of champagne and emptied it in one go as if he needed to give himself the courage to say
what he said next. "If you kissed me in front of her. If she ran into us...doing things." Ben's flush
deepened.

"Doing what kind of things?" I asked, intrigued. "More hickeys?" I'd definitely be up for that, and
it wouldn't be experimenting because we'd already done it before... and I distinctly recalled Ben
enjoying it. I recalled him enjoying it a lot.

Ben swallowed, visibly. "Uh..." He glanced at his empty glass, and I refilled it for him before
doing the same for myself.

Maybe the champagne hadn't been a bad idea after all if this was the conversation we were
going to be having.

Although I wasn't sure that Ben strictly needed any more liquor that he'd already had. "I'm
cutting you off after this," I said as I handed him his glass. "No need for you to get black-out
drunk."

"I'm not... that's... I can hold my liquor," he claimed, even as he swayed on his feet while raising
the champagne to his lips.

"I'm sure you can." I gave him a smile. "At least you're cute when you're drunk."

He sputtered, half-choking on the sip of liquor he'd just taken.

"Don't go wasting your champagne," I teased. "You're not getting any more."

"Not fair."

"Yes fair. You don't wanna get so drunk you'll do something you'll regret."

Ben gazed at me over the rim of his glass, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Something I'd
regret?"

I nodded, all the while trying to figure out what was on his mind. He'd definitely had a little too
much to drink, but the gears in his head were still turning. For all his shy awkwardness, he was
still smart. It was one of the things that made him sexy.

Shit, when had I started thinking of him as sexy? And why couldn't I stop now?
"I don't think I'll do anything I'll regret," Ben said after a moment. "I'd regret not doing anything."
His voice was calm, but his gaze on me was laser-focused, as if he'd just come to a decision he
wasn't going to budge on. Raising his glass, he drank the rest of his champagne, then set the
glass down. "C'mon." He took my hand. If not for the faint blush still coloring his cheeks, he
would have appeared completely confident too.

Mildly impressed by his sudden drive, I let him lead me to the bed. "What exactly did you have
in mind?" I asked, even though I was already fairly sure I'd be on board with whatever he
suggested.

He sat and pulled me down with him, acting quickly now, as if he was afraid he was about to
lose his nerve. "Practice," he said, looking straight into my eyes.

"Practice what?"

"How to make everyone jealous." In one swift motion, he straddled my lap, and then his lips met
mine. All my thoughts stopped. For a second or two, complete silence reigned my mind, all my
neurons focused on how to process this new sensation of having Ben sitting in my lap, pressing
up against me while his lips touched mine.

Some part of my brain decided that the appropriate response was to pop a boner. I groaned as
my blood rushed south. It wasn't a bad feeling, though, not at all. It was the kind of feeling that
begged for more. Without any conscious thought on my part, my hand went into Ben's hair,
angling his head so I could get better access to his mouth. I kissed him the way I would have
kissed any girl I was making out with, but somehow, this was still different.

Because it was Ben.

Because I wanted to claim him in a way I'd never wanted to claim a girl before.

A soft moan escaped Ben's lips as they opened to let my tongue in. Just like last time, he went
completely soft in my hold, inviting me to own him.

God, I wanted to.

But was that really what he wanted? Or was he just drunk?

What the hell were we doing here?

The thought hit me like a bucket of ice water over the head.

I pulled back from Ben, just a little, just so we could talk. Even though I knew what we were
doing was wrong, I couldn't get myself to push him away. Not while I wanted him closer.
Ben looked at me as if he was scared I'd shove him off me, though, eyes wide and pleading.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Practice?" he repeated, but he sounded less sure now. My gaze traveled down his body to
notice that my pants weren't the only set that had grown a little tighter. But did that mean
anything?

"You're drunk."

"I don't care."

I knew I had to push him off me, but... God, he was looking at me like a lost puppy, and though I
wasn't the one who brought all the abandoned animals home, I'd never been one to kick a
puppy either.

"Let's just..." Ben licked his lips as if unsure what to say, then his gaze darted to my lips again.
"Just tonight? Please?"

I kissed him again before I even knew what I was doing. He just had that effect on me,
apparently. I couldn't say no to him. Ben took his chance to cling on to me, his arms coming
around my neck in a tight hug. I couldn't let go again.

"Please," he breathed again when my lips parted from his. His ass moved too, rocking against
the erection in my pants in a way that made my own breath come short.

"This is what you want?" I made myself ask, because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if Ben
ended up regretting this in the morning. If it turned out I'd taken advantage of him.

"Yes." Ben's mouth moved toward my neck and then his lips were on me, sucking at the spot
where he'd left a hickey last time. I gasped. The skin was still sensitive there.

"You don't know what you're doing to me."

If Ben heard those words, he didn't respond, he only redoubled his efforts in renewing the
hickey he'd given me. My pants grew even tighter, until I couldn't take it anymore.

Ben might be small and light, but damn... He managed to break me, anyway. A growl formed
low in my throat, and then I turned the tables, gripping Ben's hips and throwing him on the bed
before climbing on top of him.

He wanted a make-out session, he'd get a make-out session. Sure, I'd never done this with men
before, but it couldn't be too difficult, right?
I knew where all the important parts were located, anyway. And even if I hadn't known... the
outline of Ben's cock was becoming very visible in his pants. I had a brief moment to think that
the sight should have disturbed me, but it didn't. It was sexy, to think that I'd done that to him.

To think that he was mine.

I claimed his mouth again, thrusting my tongue inside and tasting the faint traces of liquor on his
lips while his body bucked up underneath me, hips seeking friction. The hardness in his pants
brushed against my leg, fueling my own need. Without thinking, I slid a hand underneath his
shirt, needing to feel his skin against mine. It was warm and soft and... there was something
strangely addicting about the noises Ben made in the back of his throat when I rubbed my
thumb over his nipple.

They turned even more interesting when I directed my hand down instead of up, slipping under
the waistband of his pants. My own cock twitched at the way Ben squirmed when my hand
wrapped around his. For a second, I paused, marveling at the feel of him. I'd never had another
man's dick in my hand.

It was a bit of a power trip, though, not gonna lie. I literally had Ben by the balls. Well, almost. I
ran my fingers a little lower, to fondle his balls, just to see what that would be like. Ben's sharp
exhale told me all I needed to know.

"You like that?" I asked, gazing down at him. He was breathing hard, his cheeks a brighter red
than I'd ever seen them, but I liked that color on him.

"Feels good," he admitted. "God..." He closed his eyes. "So good. Please don't stop."

I wasn't going to. Not now that I'd come this far. "Don't worry. I got you." Along with my promise,
I gave him another kiss, and then I pulled his pants down. His throat worked and his eyes
opened again.

"You too."

Yeah, that was a brilliant idea. My shorts were getting way too tight anyway. I shrugged them off
as quickly as I could. "Better?"

Ben's eyes were glued to my dick. He didn't say anything, but the admiration in his eyes was
enough to make me twitch. Shit, I should have experimented with guys sooner. Ben licked his
lips. "Can I...?"

"Can you what?"

"Can I suck you off?" The words left Ben's lips in a rush, almost too quickly for me to
understand. When I did, though, they took my breath away.
Ben wanted to put my dick into his mouth? He actually wanted to do that for me? The thought
was so arousing I almost came on the spot. "You mean it?" I made myself ask.

Ben nodded rapidly, then looked away as if ashamed of himself.

I grasped his chin and gently forced him to look back at me. "Hey, no need to be ashamed,
okay?"

He nodded again, but I could tell he was still struggling with the idea that he was debasing
himself by offering. I kissed his neck, his jaw, then his forehead, until his eyes fluttered closed
once more. Then, I kissed his ear. "You can suck any part of me, any time."

Ben's eyes snapped open. "Any part?"

"Any time," I confirmed.

He sat up and pushed me down on the bed. There was still a bit of uncertainty left on his
features, but just like before, he managed to overcome it, push through his hesitations. My cock
stood at attention as Ben's mouth approached it, and then his lips wrapped around me.

It was pure bliss.

I wanted to let my head fall back and relax, but at the same time, I couldn't tear my gaze away
from the sight in front of me. From the way my cock stretched those beautiful pink lips. The
image Ben made as he sucked my dick was entirely too sinful for me to ignore.

Ben licked at my slit, all the while looking at me, and my legs nearly shook with the effort it took
me not to grab his jaw and fuck into his mouth.

And then he started sucking.

Holy shit.

Within seconds, my balls drew tight.

"Ben," I tried to warn him. "I'm not... shit, I'm not gonna last like that."

Ben didn't seem to care about that, though, if anything, it made him work even harder at getting
me off. I wanted to hold on, wanted to prolong this, but I was fighting a losing battle. Ben was
perfect, and I'd never experienced anything like this in my life.

How the hell was I supposed to hold back?

With a low moan, I shot my seed in my roommate's throat, my vision nearly going white as I
spent myself, legs shaking as Ben swallowed around me.

Jesus fucking Christ.

My eyes fell shut as my body went limp in a post-orgasmic haze. Ben's lips left me, but a
second later, his body was a warm weight by my side, cuddling up against me. I forced my eyes
open again, because I'd never been a selfish lover and I wasn't going to start now. "I'll return the
favor."

Ben blushed once more. "Too late."

I glanced down his body to see that he'd left white streaks on the sheet covers. "When did that
happen?"

"When you came, I..." Ben trailed off as if embarrassed.

God, he had no idea how hot that was, did he? That he could come from that. Enjoy sucking my
dick that much.

On impulse, I grabbed the back of his head and kissed him again, deeply. It was just as good as
it had been when I was horny. Different, though. Less urgent. More... more something that I
didn't have the brainpower to analyze in this moment.

When our lips parted again, Ben exhaled softly, then closed his eyes and fell asleep like that,
still cuddled up to me. I had the sudden urge to wrap my arms around him and hold him close all
night.

He wouldn't mind, would he?

He might not. Or he might regret everything in the morning.

All that was left for me to do was wait and see

19.
Ben
Breakfast the next morning was...awkward. I woke up with a headache and the sense that
something in the universe had shifted while I wasn't paying attention. I also woke up to the
feeling of Toto’s tongue all over my face.

Dear God that dog had morning breath. What had we been feeding him?
“Toto! Ew!” I pushed him away, all thoughts of going back to sleep vanishing from my mind. “We
need to change your diet.”

Toto licked my hand, then whined at the same time that his tail wagged.

“Yes, I know you want breakfast. Just hold on a second.” I took in the rest of the room to find
Evan sitting by the pool with a cup of coffee in his hands, watching me and the dog with a
bemused expression. “You think you can feed him?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure.” He got up and Toto ran to him once he reached for the bag of dog food I’d stashed
in the closet.

I sat up and stretched as, slowly, my brain came back online. And then everything I'd done the
day before, the drinking, the make-out session, the cock-sucking, hit me like a ton of bricks.

Holy shit, what had I done?

And how had it actually worked?

Evan had only had a tiny bit to drink, so he couldn't blame it on the alcohol. Had he wanted it?
Had he enjoyed it? Did that mean he was…?

I studied his profile as he fed our way too excited dog. If my memories of last night could be
trusted, he’d definitely enjoyed it when I took him in my mouth. Holy shit, I still couldn’t believe
I’d done that. Or that he’d let me. Heat spiked through me at the thought, and I was surprised
there was no smoke coming out of my ears, since my insides felt like a pressure cooker.

How could Evan just casually go about his morning as if nothing had happened?

Maybe it was because he had so much more experience than I did? He must have received
tons of blow jobs in the past. That had to be it. Why would it matter to him if the lips around his
dick belonged to a guy or a girl? Or if they belonged to me…

Slowly, the pressure drained from my insides and the warmth faded.

A healthy young male enjoying a blow job didn’t mean he was gay. I hadn’t proven anything. I’d
only made a fool of myself.

While Evan was still busy drinking his coffee and telling Toto what a good boy he was, I quickly
got dressed and scrubbed my face. Then I suggested that we go downstairs for breakfast
instead of ordering room service. Even the potential danger of running into my family was
preferable to staying in this room just the two of us. If we did that, eventually we’d have to talk
about what had happened—and how obvious I’d made it that I was into him. The way I’d
pleaded with him… he couldn’t have missed it.
Evan didn’t mention it, though, and he didn’t argue when I asked to have breakfast downstairs.

In the hotel’s vast breakfast room, a waiter served us an assortment of foods ranging from
croissants with jam to scrambled eggs and sausages. I wasn't particularly hungry, but I was
grateful for the coffee--and the way stuffing food into my mouth gave me an excuse not to talk.

It didn’t take long for my relatives to spot us, though. About five minutes into our meal, one of
my cousins dropped by our table. Oliver's brother Derek. He greeted the two of us with a huge
grin--and two rolls of toilet paper.

"I'm passing these out to all the guests," he informed me.

"Uh... thanks?"

Evan examined his roll a little more carefully. "Is this print... Are these names…?"

Derek's grin grew even wider. "All the guest’s names. They're customized for the wedding. Our
family's so proud of their toilet paper money, I figured this was the perfect gift to give to
everyone. I asked Charlie for the guest list and now everyone’s got a personalized souvenir."

“You want people to wipe their asses with the wedding’s guest list?” Evan asked.

“Not the actual guest list. That wouldn’t be comfortable. This is four layers of super soft toilet
paper. Your ass will thank me.”

"How did you ever get this approved?" I asked.

Derek's smile turned wicked. "Who says I did?"

I shook my head at him. Some men just wanted to see the world burn. Derek was one of them.

"You know Charlie isn't gonna mind," Derek said.

"No, she'll think this is hilarious."

"Yeah." Derek pulled out the chair beside me and dropped into it. "Besides, we're gonna need a
couple rolls of toilet paper at this wedding with all the shit you two are stirring up."

"We're not stirring shit up," Evan said, but I was just glad that we weren't alone at our table
anymore. Weak, I know.

"Sure, you're not." Derek gave me a sideways glance. "Your mom's looking for you."
I suppressed a groan. My morning just kept getting better. "Does she want to talk about the
thing with your dad?"

Derek shrugged. "He's pretty pissed off, though it wasn't really your fault, you know? It was the
good boy you have there." Derek grabbed a sausage and tossed it under the table for Toto
before I could stop him. Toto wolfed the sausage down and gave an excited bark. "More
sausage!" I imagined his demands. "And what about the bagels?"

"We should ditch the hotel for a while," Evan said, ignoring the dog.

"We're on a tiny island," I reminded him. "Where do you wanna go?" And what would you want
to do? I didn't say the last part out loud, but the question stuck in the forefront of my mind.

What would happen the next time Evan and I were alone? Were we just going to pretend that
last night had never happened?

I wasn't sure I could live with that. I'd thought if I had just this one night, maybe I could get it all
out of my system and move on when Evan moved out, but... God. I was never going to get him
out of my system. How could I, when he’d already taken up residence in my heart.

"We could look for treasure," Evan said, reminding me of the thing the dog had dug up the day
before.

At the mention of treasure, Derek immediately perked up. "Treasure?"

"We found a map," Evan explained. "A map and a rubber duck." He scrolled through his phone
until he found a picture of the map and showed it to Derek.

"Oh, I know where that is," Derek announced. "That's that cave with the lake. I went there with
my girlfriend last year."

"You've been here before?" I asked.

"Lots," Derek said. "My parents like it here. It's not too bad, I guess." He glanced at the map
again, then back at me. "I could take you guys. Unless you want to be alone." His eyebrows
wriggled suggestively. "My girlfriend sure liked it."

Ugh, I did not want to think about my cousin getting laid.

I didn't want to think about visiting this cave with Evan either, but there was no good way out of it
when Evan was already asking for directions. He wanted to go, and I'd go with him. And I'd get
my answers, for better or for worse.
***

As small as the island was, reaching the cave took us about forty minutes of walking. That
wouldn't have been too bad, except for the heat... and except for the awkwardness hanging in
the air between Evan and me. He took pictures for his Instagram along the way and I made
comments about how nice the sky and the flowers looked and how great it would be to take a
cool shower. In short, I babbled on about nothing in particular, just to avoid having to think at all.

"My followers are kinda into the treasure hunt idea," Evan informed me as we went up a gentle
slope toward the mountains, the dog a few feet ahead of us at all times.

"Yeah?" I asked. "What do they think it's gonna be?"

"All sorts of things. One of them is willing to bet it's a vial with alien DNA."

"Wait, what?"

"Some of my followers are pretty weird." Evan raised his hands up in a 'what can you do' sort of
gesture. "Generally they're pretty awesome people, though. A lot of them have stuck with me for
years. They were super cool about my coming out too. Even though it wasn’t real." The corner
of his mouth tugged down and frown lines appeared on his forehead. “I need to clear all that
up.”

“Yeah,” I made myself say, even as my mouth went dry.

Silence settled over us until we finally reached the mouth of the cave. The opening was wide
enough that plenty of light fell into the cavern, but not enough to take away from the dark and
secluded atmosphere. Stepping inside felt a little bit like stepping into another world, away from
the heat and sunshine of the tropical island. It was the perfect spot to hide away.

"I can see why Derek took girls back here," Evan observed.

I grimaced at the mental image those words painted in my head. Trying to shake them off, I
walked deeper into the cave. A lake stretched out in its middle, its water the color of ink and its
shape perfectly round. Almost like a massive black hole in the ground. I stopped several feet
away from it.

"You think we have to dig around here?" Evan asked.

I shrugged. "We didn't bring any shovels."

"Yeah, maybe we should have." Evan’s eyes narrowed at the water. "There's a small island in
the center of the lake."
I had to squint to see it, but he was right. "I think there's something there."

Evan pointed his phone at it and snapped a picture, even though I doubted any pictures would
turn out well in this lighting. "I'll have to swim across," he said.

"You're really gonna do that?" The water did not look inviting to me.

"It's okay. Just wait here."

What, did he think I was scared? That he was the only one who could walk over hot coals and
swim through pitch black seas? If that was how he saw me, no wonder he wasn't bringing up
what had happened last night. I swallowed hard, and then I took off my shirt and tossed it aside.
"I'm gonna get it."

"You don't have to."

“It’s no big deal,” I insisted, maybe a little too sharply.

“Ben…”

“What?” I whirled around to him.

“You shouldn’t have to—“ Whatever Evan was going to say, his words were interrupted by a
loud splashing sound as Toto dashed past us and dove into the water.

So much for proceeding with caution.

I ran into the lake after my dog while Toto paddled in the inky liquid, obviously having the time of
his life. Maybe he wasn’t wrong to enjoy himself. In spite of its color, the water felt completely
normal on my skin. A little cooler than the water in the pool, but that was to be expected.

I swam to the small island. Once there, I picked up the thing on the ground. Another box. Small
enough for me to carry in one hand.

"What's in the box?" Evan called.

"Wait and see!" I gave back before I made my return trip, treasure in hand. When I climbed out
of the water, though, it wasn't the box Evan's eyes lingered on. His gaze on me made me shiver,
and not because of the cool drops of water running down my skin.

Did he like what he saw?

He did, didn't he?

Why else would he be staring like that?

My heart jumped in my chest.

Maybe last night hadn't been a one-time thing.

My throat too tight for words, I handed the box over to Evan. He looked at it as if, for a moment,
he'd forgotten that it existed. "Thanks," he said then. "For getting it."

"No big deal," I lied.

"Are you cold?"

"No." I wasn’t even lying. There was no way I could feel cold while the heat of Evan's gaze
warmed my skin.

"If I'd known we were going to swim I would have brought a towel."

"It's fine."

"Let's at least get you into the sun." Evan sat down near the entrance of the cave and I flopped
down next to him, almost touching but not quite. Part of me wanted to lean on him, but I was too
much of a coward to do it. Instead, I urged Evan to open the box.

Inside, we found another map that we couldn't read. A map and a headband with small,
bouncing dicks attached to it.

“What the hell is that?” I asked as Evan waved the headband up and down, making its
attachments flop around.

“It looks like a very weird gift shop thing.”

“What kind of gift shop would sell this? What are you laughing about?”

“The look on your face.”

“I have a very normal look on my face. This is the way you’re supposed to look when you find a
bouncy dick headband in a treasure chest on a tropical island.” Even as the words left my mouth
I knew they were ridiculous, but it was too late to backpedal now.

“Is that something they taught you at your fancy private school?” Evan teased. “How to look
when you come across something designed purely for fun rather than function?”

“How is that thing fun?”

Evan sat it on top of his head, and with a very serious expression said, “I’m a visitor from Planet
Dick. Please take me to your leader.” His alien voice was almost as bad as his ‘gay’ voice.

“Please stop,” I said, but I had to laugh anyway. “You don’t want to meet our leaders. Trust me.”

“Fair point.” Evan took the headband off. “What I want is the next box. Show me the map?”

I handed it to him. "This is like a scavenger hunt. Why can't they just lead us to the final
destination straight away?"

"Guess they think this is more fun? Maybe your cousin can read the map."

"Yeah, maybe," I said, but in truth, I wasn’t all that interested in a map that would lead me away
from here. Not when I was finally starting to feel comfortable around Evan again. About being
alone with him. "Thanks for taking me out of the hotel and... everything. I was a mess last night,"
I said in a small voice, but I was proud of myself for getting the words out at all. Talking about
last night was scary, but... I needed clarity.

Especially after the way he’d looked at me when I got out of the water. Did that mean anything
or was it all in my head?

"Don't worry about it," Evan said. "This whole situation is super stressful to you. I get it. Like I
said, I cut contact with my parents years ago."

That wasn't what I'd expected him to say, but still, I was intrigued. "Do you ever regret it?"

"Cutting them off?" Evan's gaze wandered to the black lake behind us. "It was hard at first, but
after a while..." He shrugged. "I'm better off without them, you know?"

I nodded, even though I could only guess. I dreamed about going no contact with my parents
every now and then when they annoyed me, but actually doing it? That had to be damn difficult.
Evan said he didn't regret his choices. There was also a certain hint of pain in his voice, though,
that I couldn't ignore. Giving myself a little push, I inched closer to Evan and rested a hand on
his shoulder. He did not flinch away from my touch. "I'm sorry," I said. "Whatever happened, it
must have been awful."

"Family's complicated," Evan said. "I'm not a saint either." His eyes wandered away from the
lake to look at me instead. "We fought about money a lot. They maxed out all their credit cards.
My dad got hardcore into gambling. When they were going to lose the house, they wanted to
pay their debts with the college fund my grandmother had set up for me.” He paused.
“Sometimes I think I should have just given them the stupid money. I never went to college
anyway. It’s all just rotting away in an account now."
That... was news to me.

He laughed at the look on my face. "You thought I was broke. I'm sorry. I could have paid rent, I
just..." He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't get myself to touch that money. It's
almost like a weird phobia. Like it's tainted and it'll taint me once I touch it."

"And here I thought I had a weird relationship with money." I tried to lighten the mood but my
joke fell flat.

"I guess we're all weird in our own ways."

"Some of us are weirder than others."

"Like your uncle." Evan brightened a little. "I can still see the face he made when he went
down."

"Yeah, that was... God, I shouldn't find it funny, but I do."

"It was pretty damn funny."

I nodded, because I couldn't deny it, even as a different sort of heaviness settled around my
heart. "I bet my mom is furious."

"Let her be furious," Evan said as if it were that easy.

I drew my knees up to my chest. "She might ask that I move back home. She's threatened it
before. I don’t own the apartment, you know?" In truth, I didn't really own anything I had. My
family was rich, yes, but sometimes all that meant was that the cage I was being kept in was
golden rather than gray. "I shouldn't complain. It's just high-level whining. My mom is threatening
to take away the luxury apartment she bought for me. Wah-wah."

"No, I get it. That's what I was saying about money. It promises freedom, but for many people, it
can end up being a different kind of trap."

A bitter smile formed on my lips. "You must think I'm pretty pathetic, living off my parents' money
and catering to their whims so they won't cut me off..." I wasn't impressed with myself either, far
from it. But making a change wasn't as easy as it sounded. I didn’t even know where to start.

I'd have to get a job.

How did you get one of those?

"I don't think you're pathetic at all." Evan's tone was surprisingly gentle. "It's scary, standing up
to your family. Especially when you have so much riding on it. You'd be throwing away a very
good thing. Don't do that lightly."

"I know," I said on an exhale. Don't throw away a good thing. It was what I'd told myself more
times than I could count whenever I considered telling my mom what I thought of all the girls she
kept introducing me to.

But what if I had a good reason to throw a good thing away?

What if throwing this thing away might result in me getting a better thing?

Something that would allow me to finally be myself... to be with the person I chose.

I wanted that more than anything. More than I wanted my parents' money, more than I wanted
my apartment. More than I wanted my family's approval. Wasn't that what I'd decided the night
before, when I'd come on to Evan?

Too late to back out now.

"What happened last night, was that... do you..." On the verge of losing my nerve, I took a deep
breath. "Did you like that?"

My question seemed to surprise Evan. "Of course I did."

"But you're not gay."

"Do I have to be?" A certain defensiveness entered his tone. "I don't know the science behind it,
okay? But I know I liked it. I know I want to do it again. Maybe that makes me gay, or bi, or
whatever, I don't care."

My heart leaped in my throat. If he was gay or bi, then...

Slow down,I warned myself before I could get too excited. Just because we were playing for the
same team didn't mean we were in a relationship now. There were tons of guys who would want
to date Evan, and once Evan realized that he had options...

I didn't want to follow that thought to its conclusion.

Evan wanted to do it again. That was the important part.

Suddenly, his body next to mine felt impossibly close. Impossibly warm too, almost as if I could
feel the heat radiating off his skin.
He wanted a repeat of last night... God, I wanted that too.

"We can, um..." My words stuck in my throat. "Tonight, in our room..."

Evan grinned, as if he knew exactly what I was trying and failing to say. "You don't mind if we
experiment some more?"

Hell no. I was up for whatever experiment he wanted to perform on me. All night long. "You can
do whatever you want to me."

Evan's mouth opened, but no words came out, as if I'd taken his breath away. "I'll take you up
on that," he said eventually, his voice just a little gruff, as if he were already running through
various scenarios in his mind.

"After the rehearsal dinner," I reminded him. We still had that to get through first.

"Yeah, after dinner," he echoed, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. It made my chest swell
with pride. Pride and something that felt vaguely like hope. A warm balloon that expanded inside
of my ribcage to make me feel as if my feet were about to lift off the ground.

I was going to get laid tonight.

Sure, maybe Evan only wanted to experiment with his new-found sexuality, but still... I was
going to enjoy being his guinea pig while I could.

It was the sound of the dog barking that pulled me out of my thoughts again. It looked like Toto
was chasing some sort of bug around the edge of the lake. I called out to him, but, as always,
he didn't listen.

"Stop pretending you're deaf!" I yelled.

Evan chuckled. "He's just very good at only hearing what he wants to hear. Like..." He trailed off
as if he couldn't think of anything.

It was true, wasn't it? There weren't any sounds that Toto reacted to.

None.

Not the door bell, not the sound of footsteps in the hall, hell, not even the sound of the fridge
door opening.

I blinked, then looked at Evan. "You think he might actually be...?"

"Wouldn't the vet have told you?"

"We didn't have his ears checked or anything..." I glanced back at my dog. He'd only been with
me for two months, but still, I should have noticed. If he was truly deaf... I was a horrible pet
owner. "Toto!" I tried to get his attention once more.

Nothing.

I rose and walked up to him. The moment I entered his field of vision, his gaze snapped to me
and his tongue came out, his tail wagging. "Oh, Toto..." I put a few steps of distance between us.
Now that I thought about it, the only time this dog ever came when called was when I patted my
legs along with calling his name. I tried that now, without calling for him.

Immediately, Toto came to me.

It was too bad I didn't have any treats with me, because I really wanted to give him one. Not just
one, all the treats.

"Don't feel too bad," Evan said. "We can work on sign-language or something."

"I feel horrible!" I admitted as I fell to my knees to hug my dog close. All this time I hadn't
known... "I thought he just didn't want to listen!"

"You couldn't know." Evan came up behind me and rested a hand on my back. "There’ll be time
to fix that."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." I still wasn't ready to let go of my dog yet, though. Toto gave a
happy bark and licked my face, clearly pleased with the amount of attention he was getting.
"You can have all my sausages tomorrow morning," I told him.

In response, Toto licked my face again.

I scratched him behind his ear. "Good boy." I rose to my feet. "We should probably take him to
the beach again. Let him run around a bit to power him out before dinner." Thinking of the dinner
tonight deflated my mood, but only a little bit.

Evan would be there with me, so how bad could it get, really?

"Yeah, we'll make sure he's tired by dinner time." Evan smiled and offered me his hand. "One of
us should get some sleep tonight, even if it's only the dog."

I blushed, furiously.

Evan laughed. And then he kissed me. Just like that. Unprompted. With nobody watching. I
melted into him, prolonging the moment.
If only life could always be like this.

20
Evan
Holy shit, I think I'm falling for him.I typed the message out, then deleted it again. I lay on our
hotel bed while Ben was out talking to his sister somewhere. She'd knocked on the door about
half an hour ago to whisk him away, just after we'd gotten back from the beach.

I kind of wished I were still at the beach with Ben. I wished we were on vacation just the two of
us, with no hint of his family or the life that waited for us back home. If I could live out the rest of
my days in this hotel room with Ben, I couldn't ask for anything more than that.

I stared at my phone again, at the quiet chatroom. I hadn't updated the guys with any news in a
while.

Mainly because I didn't know how to feel about all this. I'd started this adventure with the goal of
being an awesome boyfriend for a few days of fun. Falling for Ben had never been part of my
plan. Hell, I hadn't even known that was a possibility.

His lips, though. God, I couldn't get enough of his lips.

And not only when they were wrapped around my cock.

Groaning, I squeezed myself, because that image wasn't helping anything.

"Help," I typed. A single word, and then I hit Send.

Nobody seemed to be online, though, so I took my question to Google. I'm falling for my
roommate, I typed into the search bar, but all the results I got seemed to be geared at
male/female couples and other people who were sure of their sexualities. Lucky bastards. I
wasn't sure about anything--other than the fact that I wanted to strip Ben naked and rub myself
all over him.

I checked my Instagram feed. Some messages asking for updates about the tattoo--which I'd
completely forgotten about. Some messages asking when my next workout video would be up--I
hadn't even started recording yet. With everything going on, I hadn't thought about it at all.

Some people told me to enjoy my vacation. A few others congratulated me on my new

relationship... and then some people wanted to let me know they were unfollowing because they
didn't want to take training advice from someone who... well, there were some unsavory words
about men who loved men.

I glared at my phone, deleting the messages. Whatever. I could take the loss of a few followers.
What do you need help with?A message popped up on the top of my screen. Finally,
CollegeStudButt had entered the chatroom. I opened the app on my phone in time to see him
type another message. Have you finally realized that dicks are great?

I texted back: Dude,I've always known that dicks are great. I'm just slowly discovering that other
men's dicks are also great, and nowI want to be the best possible boyfriend.

Okay, that sounded stupid, but I hit Send before I could regret my words.

Bounce-and-Pounce came online as if my words had summoned him. Wait, you guys actually
had sex?

Did it count as sex? Kind of, yeah, but that was none of Bounce's business. We did some
things, I texted to keep things private.

Bounce posted several emoticons in response, most of them eggplants. I rolled my eyes at my
phone, but also couldn't quite keep the smile from my lips. This whole situation was ridiculous,
but at the same time hilarious, in a way.

CollegeStudButt: Was it a blowjob?

How did he know?

My silence must have spoken volumes, because he texted again. Did you give or receive?

Oh, that was so none of his business. I started to type, but wasn't sure exactly how to respond.
In the end, I wasn't fast enough anyway. CollegeStudButt got another message in before I could
finish mine.

Enjoying a blowjob doesn't make you gay.If my roommate offered, I wouldn't turn him down, and
I hate the guy.

That... gave me something to think about.

Did every man enjoy a blowjob, no matter who gave it? No, that couldn't be right. Even as I
decided that, though, there was doubt niggling at the back of my mind.

But that was okay. Ben and I would have all night tonight.

Enough time for me to figure out if I enjoyed giving as much as I enjoyed receiving.

***
Sadly, we still had the rehearsal dinner to get through before I could delve into further research
about my sexuality. Dinner guests were comprised of Ben's family and the family of the groom.

There was a low hum of conversation going on around the table, but I could hardly focus on it
while I was trying to figure out why I had four forks, three knives and three spoons to choose
from.

The first dish that arrived was served in small bowls of soup. ‘Wild mushroom with truffle oil’, I
was informed, which sounded very fancy, but I was hungry enough that I would have been just
as happy with a can of Heinz tomato soup. Picking one of the spoons at random, I dug in. As
expected, the soup tasted absolutely delicious. If the rest of the dishes were like this too, the
food was almost worth postponing sex for.

At least, that was what I thought until the little girl seated across the table from me spoke up.
“That’s not the soup spoon.”

“It’s not? But it’s transporting soup into my mouth. Watch.” I dipped the spoon into the soup
again and continued eating.

The girl’s eyes grew wide.

“Don’t stare, Maddie,” her mother, sitting next to her, scolded. She was the groom’s mother too,
if I remembered correctly. Mrs. Greenwald.

“Sorry, Mom.” The girl went back to eating, but kept sneaking glances at me. Specifically, at my
tattoos.

My first instinct was to tell her that she could get some ink of her own once she was old enough,
but I didn't want to embarrass Ben any further. Especially since the groom's family seemed to be
good people. At least they kept Ben's parents in line. No one made a single sharp remark
toward us while we were sitting at the table.

Ben's sister was marrying into old money, or so he had told me. This meant that his parents
wanted to be on their best behavior around them. I didn't understand all the social intricacies,
but if it meant they were going to keep their hate contained for an evening, I was all for it.

God knew Ben could use the break. I squeezed his hand under the white table cloth, but I
couldn't get him to relax.

Maybe if I kissed him...

Not now, though, his father had just tapped his glass with a knife to make a toast. His second
one this night. I tuned his words out. Something about happy unions and bright futures. It all
sounded like he was trying a little too hard to hide that his happiness stemmed from the
possibility of future business opportunities rather than his daughter's happiness.

Not even the expensive wine I'd been served with my meal could wash away the bad taste his
little speeches left in my mouth.

When I glanced at Charlie, though, she didn't seem to care. She was all bright smiles and
laughter. Good for her. Obviously, she knew not to let her parents get to her. Now if only she
could pass that lesson on to her brother...

"Are you two a couple?" the little girl sitting opposite me asked when Mr. Bentley was done
speaking. She didn't raise her voice, but it was almost as if she'd timed her question to be heard
by everyone else at the table, waiting for a lull in the low hum of conversation.

I raised my hand to show that I was holding Ben's in mine. "Yes, we're a couple." I didn't avert
my eyes from Maddie--but even, so, I could feel everyone's gazes on me.

"Oh," Maddie said, and then she went back to poking the chicken on her plate. "My uncle also
had a boyfriend. But then he married my aunt."

My mouth went dry, and I could feel Ben grow even tenser next to me. "Sometimes couples
break up," I said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Because it was, wasn't it?

"Sometimes people grow up," Mrs. Bentley commented.

"Oh no," the mother of the groom spoke up after lightly dapping the corners of her mouth with a
napkin. "Harold and Robin simply weren't a good match. He's much happier with Elise, but he's
always... Well, he's never stated a preference for gender." She turned to her daughter. "You see,
sometimes boys fall in love with boys, and sometimes boys who fall in love with boys also fall in
love with girls."

Maddie nodded and chewed her food. "I like Aunt Elise, but Robin always brought me stickers.
Dinosaur stickers. They glittered." She grinned. "Sometimes he glittered too."

I grinned back at her. "Glitter is pretty great."

"He didn't have tattoos, though. I like your tattoos. Are you going to be my uncle?"

Her mother gave me an apologetic smile. "He's not going to be your uncle, darling," she said to
her daughter.

"But if he married Beauregard then--"

"Beauregard is not going to marry for a while yet," Mrs. Bentley spoke up. As soon as the words
had left her mouth, her hand flew to her lips as if she couldn't believe she'd just interrupted Mrs.
Greenwald. Lowering her hand again, she forced a tight smile on her lips. "It's just that he hasn't
found the right one yet. It's better not to rush him into anything."

I glanced at Ben from the corner of my eyes. His jaw clenched so tight he could have cracked
walnuts between his teeth. "Who's the 'right one', mother?" He didn't raise his voice, but there
was an undertone to it that made him sound dead serious. And then he glared at his mother in a
way I'd never seen him look at anyone before. A minute ago, I would have told you he wasn't
capable of it.

"Beauregard," she said sharply, but there was doubt in her eyes, as if she was just as surprised
by Ben's demeanor as I was. "Don't cause a scene at dinner."

"I'm not the one causing a scene. We were having a nice conversation here until you cut in to
invalidate my relationship in front of everyone because you're so scared I'll marry a man." Ben's
eyes never wavered from his mother's face as he spoke. If I hadn't rested my hand on his back
in a quiet show of support, I would never have noticed the tremor going through his body.

I was so damn proud of him.

His mother, on the other hand, seemed completely lost. She looked at Ben as if her child had
been replaced by an alien she didn't recognize. "Beauregard!" she reprimanded him again, but
not quite as sharply this time. Then, she turned to her husband.

Mr. Bentley cleared his throat and put his cutlery down. "Please, son, these are private matters
that your mother and I will discuss with you at another time." He gestured at Charlie. "Don't
forgot, we're all here for your sister."

Ben swallowed and looked back down at his plate. Of course, he wasn't going to try to steal the
show from Charlie. This was her evening, her rehearsal dinner. Ben would never try to make it
about himself. It wasn't like he'd wanted the spotlight. He'd only decided to take the stage when
his mother had shined it on him. And now they were trying to make him feel bad about it.

Fuck that.

My hand on his back crept up to his neck. He turned to me. I covered his mouth with my lips.

Nothing wrong with two lovers kissing at the dinner table, was there?

The hostess didn't mind, in any case. I heard her hoot in the background, even as all the noises
around me seemed to fade away, unimportant in the face of what really mattered. Ben probably
thought I was kissing him for show, or to prove a point, and yes, it was a little bit of that too,
but... in all honesty, I kissed him because I wanted to. Because he deserved to be kissed, to be
loved.

I broke away from him at that thought, turning it over in my head.

But then Ben smiled at me, looking just a little bit dazed and so genuinely happy it made me
want to kiss him all over again.

Damn.

I was falling for my fake date, wasn't I?

No, not falling.

I had already crashed.

Hard.

21
Ben
By the timedinner was over, I couldn't wait to get back to our room--and not only because of the
promise Evan had made me earlier—the promise that still made blood rush to my groin every
time I thought about it. Sadly, though, our planned late-night activities had to wait.

After dinner, when most of the guests had retired to their rooms for the night, Charlie and her
husband-to-be led Evan and me and a few of their friends onto a small boat headed for one of
the even smaller islands surrounding us.

There, everything had already been set up in advance.

Did you think I was going to let Mom and Dad dictate the way I'm gonna get married?Charlie
had asked me earlier, laughing, as she told me about the moonlight ceremony that was about to
take place here.

I was happy for her, paving her own way. She'd always been like that. One time when we were
children and our parents had advised our nanny not to give us any more chocolate during the
day, she'd cracked an egg over my head, just so our nanny would be busy helping me clean up
while she raided the cupboards. I was mad at her for a while, until she'd shared the candy with
me, anyway.

It was really no surprise at all that she was going to have exactly the wedding she wanted--with
exactly the man she wanted by her side.

One day, I hoped that was going to be me.

At the very least, I'd taken the first step in that direction today.

Without thinking about it, I grabbed Evan's hand and squeezed. We'd taken our seats in front of
the altar now. There were only a couple of chairs, out on the beach under the light of the
stars--and the light of the torches that had been set up to illuminate the area around the altar.
Someone played acoustic guitar. I didn't recognize the song, but Walker laughed as it started,
then whispered something into Charlie's ear.

The shine of the torches seemed to make her eyes glitter as she looked back at him. She hadn't
dressed up for this occasion. There was no special dress or fancy hairdo or complex make-up,
and yet I'd never seen my sister look more beautiful than she did at that moment, completely at
ease with the man she was about to marry.

She wasn't scared at all to take this leap.

And I hadn't even managed to lose my virginity yet. Hell, the man I wanted to give it to didn't
even realize I wanted him to take it.

That had to change.

If I could just find a little bit of the courage that my sister seemed to possess in spades...

Evan and I sat next to each other as Charlie and Walker stood before the altar and exchanged
their vows. Pretty words about companionship and eternal love... but it wasn't their words that
moved me. It was the way they looked at each other, the way you could just tell they meant
everything they were saying.

Evan squeezed my hand, making me glance at him in wonder. Was this moving him too? I'd
never taken him for a romantic, but maybe there was more to him than I'd seen so far.

Maybe there was a chance that--

No, I couldn't get ahead of myself.

Around us, people cheered, snapping my attention back to my sister just in time to see her kiss
her fiancé. No, not her fiancé. Walker was her husband now. I took my hand out of Evan's grip
just so I could applaud, even as my chest tightened in a way I didn't understand. Charlie
deserved this and I was so happy for her.

But I wanted this too.

And how was I ever going to get it? Was there even a chance?
There had to be. If I took life in my own hands. If I stopped caving to my mother's whims... I
could do it. I'd already taken the first step, hadn't I?

Now I only needed to go the rest of the way.

All the way.

There was a bottle of champagne being passed around. Before I knew it, it was in my hand. I
took a large swig, mentally grinning at the expression that would be on my mother's face if she
caught me drinking straight from the bottle like a common savage. I offered the bottle to Evan,
who was watching me curiously.

"You seem happy," he observed, taking the bottle.

"Yeah, I don't know, I feel like... my whole life is just about to start, you know?"

That seemed to amuse Evan. "It's Charlie's wedding, not yours."

"But it could be. One day." One day, I too would find happiness. The moment I said the words, it
struck me that I'd never believed that before. Not truly.

Evan squeezed my shoulder, eyeing the torches, the small altar. "This is what you want?"

"I think it's perfect." Another bottle of champagne made its way to me and I drank again, hardly
even noticing the taste. "When you've found the right person, it doesn't matter where or how you
get married. Just that you're together."

"You're such a romantic."

Any other time, I might have felt embarrassment well up in me at that statement, but tonight I
didn't. Instead, I leaned into Evan. "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all." He took a sip from the bottle still in his hand, then passed it on.

I leaned in a little closer still, riding the high of the moment, of this night that made me feel
anything was possible. "I can't wait to get back to our room."

"Oh, me neither."

My lips twitched. "Do you still have that thing Walker gave you on the plane?"

It took a second for the penny to drop for him. "The thing Walker... oh!" He stared at me, then
lowered his voice. "The condom?"
I grinned at him, forcing myself to hold his gaze. "Yes, that."

Evan felt for his pockets as if he might have it on him that very moment. "Shit, now I really can't
wait to get back to our room."

I laughed. It was better than admitting how nervous I still was.

22
Ben
It was pretty lateby the time we made it back to our room, but sleep was the furthest thing from
our minds. We fed the dog, and then Evan started taking his clothes off. "C'mon," he said. "Let's
get into the pool."

"The pool?" I glanced at it as if I hadn't noticed it was there before.

"I like to see you wet."

I jerked my gaze back to Evan, feeling myself go red. He only smiled at me, already mostly
naked. My eyes stuck to the dragon tattoo on his arm. "The water will help you cool off," he said.
"You still want to do this, right?"

Hell yes. I didn't take my clothes off as quickly as Evan had, but I was proud of myself for
managing to do it at all, what with the way my hands were shaking. I gave up on the last two
buttons on my shirt and pulled it off over my head instead. Evan was waiting for me in the pool
by the time I managed to dress down to my boxers.

"The water's perfect," he promised.

I climbed in beside him. The moment my knees touched the water, he snaked an arm around
my hips, pulling me toward him, his skin impossibly hot against mine. The earthy scent of his
cologne hit me, and then his lips met mine and my eyes closed at the same time that my mouth
opened. In spite of the cool water around me, I felt warm in Evan's embrace. Safe, with all my
senses blanketed by his presence.

Why had I been nervous again?

My leg brushed against his under the water, sliding against bare skin, and... he had not kept his
underwear on. Desire slammed into me. God, I wanted this man. Wanted him to have me. So
badly that my skin tingled with anticipation even where he wasn't touching me.

His hands slid down to my butt and I felt myself rocking against him before I could even think
about what I was doing. His fingers tugged at my boxers, pulling them down, exposing me. I
only clung to him harder.
His thumbs dug into my skin, and then one of his fingers traced my rim. I shivered.

"What are we going to do for lube?" He murmured the question against my ear.

Fuck the lube. That wasn't what I said, but it was what I wanted to say. "Complimentary lotion. I
don't care what you use."

"Have you done this before?"

With toys, yes. With another man? No. I opened my mouth to tell him, but the words wouldn't
quite come. I didn't want to talk. I wanted him, needed him, to go on.

Would he stop if I told him I was a virgin?

It seemed my lack of response was enough for him to figure it out. "It's okay. We're both new to
this." He paused, his grip on me tightening as he gazed into my eyes. "Are you sure you want--"

"Yes. I trust you."

Evan swallowed, almost as if what I said overwhelmed him a little. "Okay," he said slowly. "We're
going to need a ton of lube."

"How do you know?"

A faint smile appeared on his lips. "Google."

That got a laugh out of me, just imagining Evan googling how to have gay sex. Had he really
done that for me? It was so... sweet, in a weird sort of way. A good weird sort of way.

"All right, let's move to the bed." He lifted me up, helping me sit on the edge of the pool.

"But we're all wet," I protested, already missing his warmth.

"Yes," Evan agreed, and the way he eyed my body told me he very much liked what he saw.
Hell, if this was what got him off, I wouldn't mind running around with a personal rain cloud over
my head. So what if the sheets got wet?

Evan went to the bathroom to grab the lotion, and I lay on the bed, waiting for him. He came
back with all the bottles he could find, which were at least four. "Think this'll work?"

"It's got to. I've, um... experimented with toys before." As much as it embarrassed me to admit
that, I wanted him to know I wasn't completely new to having things up my butt. "I'll be okay."

"Toys?"
I flushed. "Yeah, toys." I was not gonna go into detail about my toy collection.

"You have sex toys in your room at home?" Evan's dark gaze bored into me, making my skin
grow even hotter. "What do you think about when you play with them?"

My throat closed up at the idea of telling him. "Men," I pressed out, because that wasn't a lie.
Evan didn't need to know that I'd thought about him specifically, that I'd imagined his cock
impaling me countless times.

"What kind of men?" Evan's hands came to rest on my shoulders, pressed me gently back into
the sheets, as he climbed over me. "Daddies?" he teased.

"No. Just... guys."

"All right. You don't have to tell me." Evan kissed my neck and I exhaled in relief. "But tell me if
anything hurts."

I made myself nod, even as all my thoughts and senses zeroed in on the motion of Evan's
hands and lips down my body. How could I ever tell him that this was exactly what I'd fantasized
about while he was sleeping in the other room?

He squirted lotion on his hand and I spread my legs, almost automatically. One of his fingers
approached my hole, then slipped inside. I closed my eyes, focusing on the sensation of having
a part of him inside of me, even if it wasn't the one I wanted. Not yet.

But soon.

Anticipation rolled through me and took my breath away.

I still couldn't believe that this was happening. With Evan.

"This okay?" he asked.

"More than okay."

He moved his finger, in and out in shallow thrusts. "You feel so warm." There was an edge of
desire to his voice that made me clench around him. God, I wanted to move to the main part of
the action already, wanted to make this a night to remember. A memory I would have forever,
even if Evan moved out and left me.

Maybe Evan wanted that too, because he added another finger, scissoring me. My breath left
me in a rush. Having another man's fingers in you was different from toys. But different in a
good way. I wanted more of it. Wanted deeper.
I wanted Evan to own me.

A third finger joined the first two once I took those easily. "Still okay?" Evan watched me intently,
his pupils darker than I'd ever seen them.

"More." It was the only thing I could say, the only thing on my mind. "Please. More."

Evan kissed me, and then he guided me on my stomach, a pillow under my hips. I kept my legs
stretched, offering myself to him. He kissed my cheeks, the backs of my thighs. I dug my fingers
into the sheets, the anticipation almost too much to bear.

When the head of his cock nudged my entrance, I rocked back against him. For once in my life,
I didn't even care how slutty that made me look. I wanted Evan in me. Not in a minute, not in a
second, now. His fingers dug into my hip, steadying me.

"Not gonna hurt you." But I could hear the strain in his voice too. He wanted to thrust into me, to
fuck me senseless just the way I wanted him to. Still, he went slow, giving me time to adjust until
he was all the way in. I shuddered at the sensation of him sliding home.

So this was what it was like to have another man inside of me. Not a toy but an actual person.
Evan.

I wanted to cry it felt so good.

Never before had I felt so utterly complete.

And so utterly in need of a good nailing.

"Ben?" Evan spoke my name as if it was a question.

I knew he wanted to ask if I was okay, but I couldn't respond in that many words. I had only one
word for him. "Move."

Evan did. Carefully at first, until it seemed he couldn't hold back any longer. He leaned over me,
gripping my hips tightly as he rocked forward, thrusting in and out of me in a rhythm that
threatened to take my sanity away. His name fell from my lips like a prayer, like a plea, because
I needed him to go on, to give me more, to hit that spot again. Every time he did, pleasure shot
through me so sharply I couldn't even breathe, could only hold on to the sheets and the pillow
that muffled my moans. Until Evan ripped it away.

"Want to hear you."

I let him hear me. Every moan, every little sound. He moved even faster in response.
Pleasure built in me, mounted, then spilled over when Evan's hand wrapped around my cock. I
came with a cry, shaking in Evan's hold as the fireworks going off in my body nearly blinded me.

He gave another thrust, then moaned my name as his own orgasm hit him and he collapsed on
top of me. It was absolutely perfect. So perfect I never wanted to move from this bed.

Never wanted to face reality again.

23
Evan
Over the pastcouple of years, I'd gotten used to my phone blowing up with notifications in the
morning, but this morning was especially bad. Almost as bad as that time Ben's drawing had
ended up all over the internet.

Dread gathering in my belly, I unlocked my phone and opened my messages. Some more
people had commented on that stupid Reddit post I'd made when I first decided to be Ben's date
for this wedding. The one that had spawned my chatroom conversation with the other guys. One
of them, Bounce, had posted that he'd won the bet. Whatever, I didn't care about that. The issue
was that the thread was getting more attention now.

Apparently people loved the whole fake-relationship-but-suddenly-he's-gay-thing.

"What are you looking at?" Ben opened one eye to look at me, still half-asleep and completely
adorable.

"Nothing," I lied. "Just people being silly on the Internet." I scrolled a little deeper through my
messages. Someone had connected my Reddit username to an Instagram name I used to have
before I opened my new, more business-like account a few years ago.

How did they remember that?

I hadn't.

But the cat was out of the bag now, and now my business account had been connected to the
whole story. Everyone knew now. That I wasn't truly gay, that I was just pretending. That I was
fake. And if I'd lied about this, what else might I have lied about?

I needed to do damage control. I really needed to do damage control. There were at least one
hundred messages waiting for me on Instagram alone, and more on other platforms. Even as I
looked at my phone, I could watch my follower count sinking.

And yet, I didn’t know what to say.

That I wasn't fake because I was in love with Ben now?

How could I tell the internet before I even told him?

Fuck.

For the first time in forever, I wished I could just throw my phone against the wall and watch it
shatter. Only this wasn’t my phone’s fault. This was all on me. If I’d come clean with my
followers like I’d planned to… But no, I’d preferred seeing the numbers rise. And now this whole
thing was going to cost me my career.

I had to make a post, apologize, do something.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked.

“Nothing,” I lied again, because I didn’t want this on his mind too. He’d feel responsible, even
though this wasn’t his fault at all. It was mine, and I would deal with it. Later. Once I figured out
how.

Putting my phone aside, I focused my attention back on Ben. At least I still had Ben. He rubbed
the sleep out of his eyes, then laughed when Toto nudged his arm up to lick his cheek. "All right,
all right, I'll walk you. Sheesh."

A smile formed on my lips, watching the two of them. Then my phone vibrated again. I picked it
up, tempted to throw it into the pool, but glanced at the screen before I could do so. It wasn't
another Instagram notification. Just a message from the dude in San Francisco, asking what
time I'd be arriving.

Right. San-Fran... I'd forgotten about that. I wasn't going home with Ben. Unless... maybe he
could put me up for a few more weeks? I had to talk to him. Later. When he was properly awake
and caffeinated. Maybe after the fake official ceremony.

Ben turned to me as he got dressed. "Should we make a trip to the main island this evening?
Maybe you could get your new tattoo."

"You want to miss your sister's party?"

"Won't spend a minute more than I have to around my family. Charlie won't mind." While Ben
was speaking, Toto had run to the door to grab one of Ben's shoes in his mouth and carry it to
him. "Wow, you're impatient," Ben commented as he took it.

"We slept in a little later than normal," I pointed out. "Guess we tired each other out."
A faint blush crept into Ben's cheeks, making me want to drag him back into the bed and see if I
could make that lovely color spread to the rest of his body. Ben cleared his throat. "Uh... I guess
I better take Toto out."

"You really wanna go on your own?"

"Yeah, no need for him to boss both of us around." Ben straightened. "I can handle it."

Of course, what he meant was that he could handle his family, should he happen to run into
them.

"Okay, but before you go, I have a better plan for tonight."

"You do?"

"We still have to complete that treasure hunt, right?" I didn't know if it would lead us to another
cave again, but if it was a location similar to the first one... nice and secluded and mildly
romantic... maybe that would be a good opportunity to talk to Ben about... things.

"But what about your tattoo?"

"I can get a tattoo back home." I tried to sound casual, like it wasn't a big deal one way or the
other. The truth was, I didn't care about tattoos right now. Or about disappointing my Instagram
followers. I hadn’t even checked to see what design they’d voted for. Right now, there was only
one person I wanted to impress. "Do I not have enough tattoos for you yet?"

"I didn't say that!" It was cute how easily Ben flustered. Hell, everything about him was cute.

"You go walk the dog. I'll try to figure out where the next treasure is buried, and then we'll brave
your sister's second ceremony."

"I'm sure it won't beat last night's."

"No, probably not." I wanted to say more, something about how touching the whole thing had
been, but I struggled to put the sentiment into words. And then Toto yapped again and pulled on
Ben's laces. "You better get going. I'll be here when you get back."

Ben smiled, but even as he did so, there was something sad about his expression that I couldn't
place.

Maybe I was only imagining it?

24
Ben
It didn't take longfor me to run into family on my walk with Toto. Once we reached the beach, the
dog raced ahead, yapping loudly to greet my cousin who was getting his feet wet in the ocean
water.

At the sound of Toto's barking, Oliver turned, shielding his eyes from the sun as he waved at
me. "Good morning!"

"You're up early." I walked up to him and let Toto play in the waves for a bit. At least the dog
seemed to be enjoying himself. I could put up with a lot if it meant my dog was having a good
time -- even being stuck on a small island with all my family.

Oliver shrugged. "I'm always up early. Gives me a few hours to myself before the rest of the
world is awake. Usually." He turned back toward the ocean. "Besides, the sunrise here is
absolutely stunning."

"Maybe I can catch it tomorrow morning."

Oliver grinned at me. "You gonna stay up all night with your man?"

"That's not what I said!" But I flushed anyway.

"How did things work out with you and Evan? C'mon, spill. Let me live vicariously through you."

"Things worked out okay." I rubbed the back of my neck, my palm just a little sweaty. "We um...
definitely practiced."

"So he bought it?"

Had he? Not really. But it had worked anyway, if only to start the conversation about what I
wanted. What we both wanted. Evan had enjoyed it too. "I don't think he's straight."

At least, I didn't want to think that a straight man had taken my v-card. How sad would that be?

"There's something you're not telling me," Oliver prodded. "You didn't just make out a little, did
you?" His face lit up. "I could tell he's into you."

"I don't know if he is or if I'm just his first chance to explore," I admitted, a sinking feeling in my
stomach because I knew it was most likely to be the latter. "He's never made out with a guy
before. He has like... no frame of reference."

"Do you?"

Oliver's question shut me up for a moment. Had he seriously just asked that? "Do I what?"
"Have you made out with other guys?"

"That's none of your business." My cheeks were definitely growing red now.

Oliver laughed, the bastard. "Sorry, didn't mean to embarrass you. Not like I have a ton of
experience."

"I'm not good at meeting new people and making friends... all that..." I admitted, as if my cousin
didn’t already know.

“Well, you’re farther ahead than I am. Maybe it’ll be easier with the next guy."

The next guy? "But I only want--" I stopped myself before I could finish that sentence. Admitting
my crush to my cousin would be stupid. Not falling in love was pretty much the first rule of
having a fake relationship, wasn't it? No feelings.

Oliver gave me a sympathetic smile as if he could hear what I wasn't saying. "You sure about
that? Remember, you have no frame of reference."

While that was true, I couldn't imagine anything being better than being with Evan. The thought
alone seemed like an impossibility. Things couldn't get better than perfect. And last night had
definitely been perfect.

Or it would have been, if I could be sure that Evan felt the same way about me that I felt about
him.

"I don't want to experiment," I said as the truth of the matter became clear in my head. "And I
don't want to be an experiment anymore."

Oliver looked at me for a long moment before nodding. "You'll have to tell him."

"But what if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"There's always that risk."

"That’s easy for you to say.”

Oliver’s face fell. “It’s not like I couldn’t find somebody, you know. It's just too much trouble."
Oliver reached down to pet Toto as the dog came bounding back toward us, a stick in his mouth.
Where had he even found that? Oliver threw it for him and Toto chased after it. We both
watched him go. "If I had a boyfriend, they'd want to meet the family and..." Oliver shook his
head. "I don't wanna introduce anyone to our brand of crazy. But hey, you brought Evan here
and he still likes you, so give it a shot. That man literally walked through fire for you."
I cringed, remembering the hot coals. My cousin had a point, though. If our family didn't scare
Evan away, there probably wasn't much that would.

"He's leaving for San Francisco soon after this trip."

"What does he want there?"

Now it was on me to shrug. "He's always on the move. He doesn't like sticking to any one place
for too long, I think."

"Guess you gotta find out if he'd stick around for you, then."

"Or I could go with him." I surprised myself by saying that. I hadn't really thought about it, but if
being with Evan meant moving... it wasn't much of a sacrifice. I liked my apartment, but in the
end, it was only one more way my parents controlled my life.

Oliver didn't seem convinced, though. "What about college?"

My degree. I'd almost forgotten about that. "I could study somewhere else. Maybe remote
learning. That's a thing, right?" Maybe I could even change my major.

It was incredible what kind of possibilities opened up to me now that I didn't care about my
mother's approval anymore. As if there was a whole new world out there that I’d only ever heard
about in books and stories. A world that had never quite seemed real, but that was suddenly
within reach.

This was my life, and I could be anything I wanted. Be with anyone I wanted, if I could only take
the leap from my world into this new one.

I had Evan to thank for making me see this.

The thought made me feel warm in a way that had nothing to do with the rays of the morning
sun beating down on us. "I should go back to my room," I said.

"Talk to your man?" Oliver wriggled his eyebrows at me. "Good luck."

I swallowed, hard. Good luck...

I could certainly use that.

***
It wouldn't have been my life if I'd been able to get back to my room without any obstacles in the
way. I'd barely set foot back in the hotel's lobby when my mother's voice stopped me dead in my
tracks.

No, I was not scared of her anymore, but I wasn't going to shake off a lifetime of conditioning in
the span of twenty-four hours either.

"Beauregard!" In spite of the early hour, my mother looked impeccable as she strode toward me,
wearing a long dress that managed to be both light and airy yet fancy at the same time.
Naturally, it had been tailor made for her. I didn't know what it had cost, but likely more than
Evan had made all year.

For the first time, I felt ashamed of my family's wealth, wondering how it must look from Evan's
point of view. What had any of us ever done to deserve all these luxuries? I hadn't worked a day
in my life, and my mother spent most of her life criticizing how everyone else chose to live theirs,
as if getting rich from selling toilet paper was the pinnacle of human existence.

"We need to talk," she announced, coming to stand right in front of me.

"About what?"

"Follow me." Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked toward the elevators.

Hating myself a little bit, I followed, Toto on my heels like the good dog he was. At least I wasn't
going into this alone. "There's really nothing to talk about."

My mother ignored my objections, naturally, and then the elevator doors opened and we
stepped inside. I suppressed a grimace as the doors closed again. Trapped inside an elevator
with my mom was exactly where I wanted to be. She tapped the button for fifth floor. "We're not
going to have this conversation in public," she explained. "It's bad enough that you embarrassed
us at the dinner table last night."

"I embarrassed you?"

"You know what you did," she said sharply.

A week ago, I might have nodded and lowered my head, but I couldn't agree with her anymore.
Not now that I could smell the bullshit behind her words. "It was your own behavior that was
inappropriate, Mother. You're only upset I didn't cover for you by going along."

Following my words, I discovered that I was not the only member of this family whose skin could
turn red. Only I was pretty sure it was anger coloring my mother's cheeks, rather than the
shame she should have been feeling.
"We raised you better than this!"

"You raised me to ignore my true feelings, but I'm over that."

Silence.

My mother stared as if she had trouble recognizing me. Not even the dog moved.

The elevator dinged as it reached the fifth floor. The doors opened and she strode out. Dutifully,
I followed. If she still wanted to talk more, we could talk more. I was ready.

At least, I thought I was until we entered my parents' room and my mother spoke again. "Your
father and I have discussed that we don't mind if you want to get married to another man."

For a second or so, I could only stare at her.

That was... so not what I had expected. Of all the things she could have said... I felt as if the rug
had been pulled from under my feet and now I was in free fall, tumbling down into a different
dimension. One that looked like ours, but that was nothing more than a photorealistic painting,
on closer inspection.

Because there was no way that this was reality.

"What are you talking about? What about all the girls you've been trying to introduce me to?"

"They were all lovely young ladies and you would have been lucky to marry any one of them,
but I can see now that's not going to happen."

I blinked. Could Charlie's plan actually have worked? Did Mom realize that I was actually gay?
That this was not a phase?

Could it be this easy?

Of course not.

"We understand now that we need to find a suitable man for you," my mother said, shattering
my illusions that she might have changed at all.

"I don't need you to find someone for me."

"Don't be difficult, darling. Your father and I are only trying to help you."
"I don't need your help!" Without meaning to, I raised my voice, which made me feel like I was a
toddler having a tantrum. The look my mother was giving me wasn't helping either. Nor did the
way she remained completely calm.

"Beauregard, please," she said, the same way she'd reprimanded me when I'd been a child and
I got my hands dirty by playing in mud. "We realize this is partly our fault for not taking your
leanings seriously before, so we want to help you correct your mistake. This doesn't have to be
such a huge issue."

She spoke as if I was the one turning all of this into a big deal when it didn't need to be. Evan's
words came back to me, that I was expected to steady the boat now, but fuck that. I wasn't
going to do that any longer. "I already have a boyfriend, so there's nothing I need your help
with."

My mother's nose wrinkled as if there was a bad smell in the air. "Him? Darling, you can't be
serious."

"Why not?" I demanded, even though I already knew what my mother hated about Evan. It
wasn't a long list. There was only one word on it: everything.

"Have you seen his hair? And those tattoos... It's clear you're only rebelling, darling. We raised
you to have higher standards than this."

"You hardly raised me at all," I shot back, because honestly, most of the job had been done by
hired help. "If you had, maybe you'd know that I'm serious."

"We won't be supporting you while you're rebelling against us."

Her words gave me pause, even though they were far from unexpected. Threatening to cut off
financial support had always been her go-to when nothing else worked. "I don't care," I made
myself say as calmly as I could, even as my palms turned sweaty. This was it. The moment I
would break free. I couldn't be too scared to take the leap now.

My mother studied me silently for a long moment. "I suppose I can't make you break up with this
man, but if you don't find a more suitable choice, you will not be mentioned in our will."

My jaw clenched. Threatening to disown me entirely was a new tactic... Or maybe it had always
been in the back of her mind, I'd just never known because I'd never pushed her that far.

"We will gladly offer our help if you need it, of course," my mother spoke on.

Out of nowhere, Toto barked at her as if to tell her to shut up. The sound startled me so much I
almost laughed. While talking to my mom, I’d forgotten the dog was even there.
"Please take this ruddy mutt out of here," my mother said, predictably.

"He doesn't want to be here anyway," I informed her. "Neither do I."

My mother waved me off as if she'd heard enough already, as if she was sure she was going to
win eventually.

I wasn't going to let her, though. "C'mon, Toto," I said, stepping back out into the corridor.
"Evan's waiting for us."

Toto barked once more, even though he was deaf and couldn't possibly understand what I was
saying.

"Good dog," I murmured as he followed me back to the elevator.

Whatever else happened by the end of this week, at least I'd still have the best dog ever.

25

Evan
Ben seemeda little shaken when he came back to our room, but he wouldn't say what exactly
had happened, only that he'd had a run-in with his mother, which made me suspect the worst.
Especially because he insisted that it was no big deal.

"We've got to get ready for the ceremony," he deflected. "Even if it's not real, my sister will roast
me if I don't show up on time."

"Fine, but we'll talk about this later."

"On our treasure hunt?" he asked. "Did you figure out where we have to go?" Ben was obviously
trying to change the topic, but I let him get away with it for now.

"I talked to your cousin. The guy with the toilet paper?"

Ben gave a weak laugh. "The guy with the toilet paper can describe a lot of people in this family,
but yeah, I know who you mean. What did he say?"

"He described a secluded place above the rocks. And then he told me all the things he did with
his girlfriend there."

Ben made a face.

I laughed. "Yeah, he's got no boundaries, does he? But it's made me look forward to our trip."
"Yeah?" Ben blushed a little, the way he always did when I implied that I wanted to do anything
sexual with him. As if it surprised him every time. Even after last night.

"You said you wanted to talk, but I think there's some other things we could do."

"Other things?"

I grinned at him and pulled him close until our hips touched. "You can't think of anything?"

Ben's Adam's apple bopped as he swallowed. "I, um..."

I kissed him before he could stutter his way through another sentence. It only took a second or
two for him to relax in my hold. That was my favorite thing about kissing him. The way I could
calm him down so easily. The way he melted into me as if nothing else mattered in the world as
long as he could hold on to me.

It was as if he'd claimed me as his rock, and I wanted to be that for him, wanted to take care of
him--and I would. As long as he let me.

"Let's go to that ceremony," I told him, brushing my thumb along his lower lip. "Worry about
everything else after."

When Ben's mouth opened, I expected him to agree with me, or to ask again what we were
going to be doing after the ceremony, but the words that came out instead stunned me. "I want
to go to San Francisco with you." He spoke the sentence so quickly I almost didn't catch it.

"You want what?" I asked, just to make sure.

"My parents are cutting me off. So I don't have to stay in Atlanta."

"They're cutting you off?" My throat tightened, as did my grip on Ben. I'd known his parents were
homophobic scumbags, but I hadn't expected our little stunt to backfire this hard. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault, I just... I can't live by their rules anymore. I don't want to live by
their rules anymore."

"You can come with me," I decided. "I just have to ask the guy who owns the place if we can
share the couch or I'll have to find some place we can crash." For the first time in my life, I really
wished I had a place of my own. Somewhere I could take Ben and keep him safe. Not some
stranger's couch.

Ben rested his head against my shoulder, and I got the feeling that he had more to say that he
wasn't saying. I didn't try to rush him, though. Whatever it was, he'd let me know on his own
time, and I'd be here to listen. Slowly, I raised my hand to tangle my fingers in the hair on the
back of his neck. He sighed, relaxing a little. "Thank you," he said on an exhale.

"I'll always have your back. It's the least I can do after you've let me stay with you for so long."

For some reason, my words made Ben tense again. "We're friends?"

"Of course we're friends." Even as part of me wanted to guide Ben to the bed, climb over him
and take the tension out of his body in a different way.

Sadly, there was no time for that.

"I think I..." Ben stepped away from me, but his eyes were glued to mine. There was something
he was scared to say, I could tell. Yet, the words that followed hit me completely unexpected. "I
don't think I can be friends with you."

Had I done something wrong? Overstepped his boundaries?

Ben spoke again before I could ask, a little more hurried now. "I want to be more than friends,
and I don't want to be an experiment, I..." He paused as if suddenly struggling to find the words,
or to say them. "I want to be your boyfriend. For real." For all his earlier hesitancy, that
statement came out surprisingly firm. He was learning to stand up for himself. The thought made
me smile, but not as much as Ben's words did. I pulled him close again so I could kiss him once
more, and then I dragged him to the bed.

"We're going to be late," he protested in between one kiss ending and the next one beginning.

I took both of his hands into mine and grinned down at him. "I think Charlie will forgive us. Tell
her we needed to celebrate our new relationship."

"So you... Does that mean...?"

"Yes." I kissed the line of his jaw and ran my hand under his shirt. He gasped when my thumb
brushed his nipple. "You still want me to stop?" I asked, because I sure as hell didn't want to,
wedding ceremony be damned. Ben had just asked me to be his boyfriend, and I burned with
the need to feel him under me, to explore every inch of his body and claim it for myself.

He was mine now. Not just as a temporary experiment, but for real.

"We can't miss it," Ben protested, but honestly? His protests sounded pretty weak to me.

"Your sister already got married yesterday," I reminded him, all while I pulled his shirt over his
head. He lifted his arms up like a good boy. Like he wanted this just as much as I did.
Judging by the growing bulge in his pants, my guess wasn't too far off.

"Doesn't have to take long," I murmured against his skin. "Bet I can make you come in five
minutes." My lips twitched as I thought back to the situation in the plane's bathroom. "Maybe
even less than five minutes."

"You sound confident."

"I think I've got reason to be." Without wasting any more time, I undid Ben's fly and pulled his
pants down until his cock was exposed. It jutted up the moment it was freed from its prison.
"Look at that..."

"What are you--"

Before Ben could finish his sentence, I had my hand wrapped around him and his tip in my
mouth. He inhaled sharply, hips twitching as if he wanted to buck up but was holding himself
back.

It was a weird experience, having another man's cock in my mouth. Not a bad one, though. Not
at all. The way Ben reacted made it all worth it. When I took him deeper, his eyes rolled back,
and then they closed. My name fell from his lips.

I would have smiled if I could have.

He sure as hell wasn't thinking about his sister's wedding ceremony now. Right this moment, he
and his thoughts belonged entirely to me. If I hadn't set myself a time limit, I would have tried to
prolong this moment too.

Maybe another time.

Definitelyanother time. We were a couple now. Which meant that we were going to do this
again. Lots of times.

Wanting to hear my name again, I rubbed my tongue along the underside of the hard heat in my
mouth. A long moan spilled from Ben's lips, so I did it again. A salty taste gathered on the tip of
my tongue as I ran it around his slit. Ben twitched again, his skin growing red. I started sucking.

"Evan!"

There it was again. Exactly what I'd wanted to hear. I rewarded Ben by sucking harder, all the
while fondling his balls with my hand, stroking my fingers along the sensitive area between them
and his dick in my mouth.

This seemed to make him reach his breaking point, as he thrust up into my mouth for real now.
"Shit," he cursed. "I can't--"

Can't what? Hold back? Stop moving?

I didn't need him to do either, so I continued doing exactly what I had been, rubbing his dick with
my tongue as the head of it brushed the back of my throat. He very nearly triggered my gag
reflex too, but I wasn't going to stop now, not while Ben was on the verge of losing his mind.

He cursed again, then warned me. "I'm gonna... shit, Evan, I'm gonna..."

His hot seed hit my tongue before he could finish his sentence. I swallowed around him as best
as I could. He moaned again. A long, shuddering sound that made my own dick twitch with
desire.

I'd never have imagined that giving another man a blowjob could feel this satisfying. If I'd
needed any more proof that I was into guys, I had it now.

Slowly, I let Ben's cock slide out of my mouth and moved to lie next to him. "I don't think that
was five minutes."

He huffed at me, but smiled only a second later. It was a loopy kind of smile, as if part of his
brain was still doused in endorphins. "You're very good at this for someone who's never..." he
trailed off, gesturing vaguely.

I pressed a kiss to his forehead. "It's my luck that I'm your first so you've got no one to compare
me to."

He chuckled. "I don't think that's it."

"No?" Lazily, I drew my fingers over the naked expanse of his chest. If only we could have spent
the whole day in our room...

Ben glanced down at my groin, where my dick was still hard. "I could..."

"Nah. There'll be time for that later." I kissed the side of his neck, then whispered into his ear.
"Gives me something to look forward to."

He shivered, which made my cock pulse again. Oh yes, I was definitely looking forward to
tonight.

First, though, we had to get through the rest of this wedding.

***

We ended up making it down in time for the ceremony. Almost everyone else had already taken
their seats when we entered the hall, but we didn't miss any part of the event. Ben's sister
looked absolutely stunning as she walked down the aisle in a strapless white dress with a light,
flowy skirt that underlined her personality so well there was no doubt it had been made for her.

The ceiling had been decorated with fairy lights, and white flowers lined the aisle, leading up to
the raised altar where Mr. Bentley gave his daughter away to Walker, who met Charlie with the
biggest smile.

It looked like the perfect wedding.

But I could see why Charlie had chosen to have her 'real' ceremony at the beach with just a few
close friends there to witness it. As beautiful as this was, the ceremony last night had felt much
more intimate. Beautiful in a different kind of way, one that didn't require money or fancy
decorations.

It had also been made a hundred times better by the fact that Mrs. Bentley hadn’t been there.
This was supposed to be her daughter’s big day and still the lady couldn’t stop herself from
staring daggers at Ben every couple of minutes. Ben pretended as if he didn't notice, but I could
feel him tense every time his mother glanced our way.

I decided right then and there that I was going to make her just as uncomfortable as she was
making her son.

The reception was the perfect moment for it. Ben and I had both dressed up for the occasion,
him wearing a tailored black suit and me in my off-the-rack navy one, but I excused myself and
ducked back to our room to get something else.

Something that I had found in the treasure box. Once I entered our hotel room, Toto barked at
me, obviously bored. "You wanna come down with me, buddy?" I asked, sure that Charlie
wouldn't mind. Her parents might, but honestly? At this point, I didn't care. Toto ran around me,
then toward the door. "All right, I got you."

I grabbed the headband from the treasure box, then headed back downstairs.

Just before I could enter the festively decorated hall, though, I was stopped by Jenny. She laid a
hand on my arm, making me turn toward her. "Congratulations," she said. "I just heard."

"Just heard what?"

"About your new nephew!"

My new what? I stared at her blankly.

"Your sister had a baby last week?" She said, but it sounded almost like a question, like she
couldn't believe she'd actually heard before me.

The truth was, I hadn't even known my sister was pregnant. I hadn't talked to Sally in at least...
was it two years now? Wait, had I called her for Christmas? I was going to, but had I? Suddenly,
I wasn't so sure anymore. My chest drew tight. "Sally has a baby now?"

I couldn’t picture it. Even though I knew my little sister was an adult now, every time I thought of
her, I pictured her with a tiny shovel in hand, crying over the sand castle I’d accidentally
destroyed when I was six and she was four.

How could she be a parent?

"A little boy." Jenny looked at me strangely. I didn't blame her. Even if she'd been aware that my
sister and I weren't talking much... my lack of basic knowledge must have seemed weird. Jenny
glanced at the headband in my hand. "What's that?"

"That's..." I put it on and plastered a smile on my face. "It's part of my outfit."

"Are you serious? You're going to give some of the people in there a heart attack."

"Perfect." I nodded just slightly to get the dicks on the headband moving. "How does it look?"

Jenny stared. "Very bouncy. Where did you even get that?"

"Oh, I think Ben and I have a fairy godmother or something."

"A fairy godmother?"

Yes, I was aware of how ridiculous that sounded, but I only nodded, unintentionally causing the
dicks on the top of my head to move again. This time, a smile tugged at Jenny's lips. I grinned at
her. She was pretty when she smiled. But that was all. I didn't want her. I only wanted one
person now, and I was gonna go to him and impress him with my bouncy dicks.

Everything else, I could worry about at another time.

Which didn't mean that I didn't pick up a glass of champagne to down in one go on my way to
Ben. I was very aware of all the stares I drew as I made my way toward my boyfriend. Ben's
eyes grew wide too. He'd been talking to the bride, but now his attention was focused on me--or
rather--on the thing on my forehead.

"Are you for real?"

Charlie glanced at me, took in the bouncing dick, then burst out laughing, drawing even more
attention from the people around us. "Oh, I love that!" she claimed. "Trade you for my tiara?"

"Absolutely!" With a smile, I took the headband off and handed it to her in exchange for her
headwear. "Looks fabulous on you," I commented as Charlie adorned her forehead with the
bouncing dicks.

"Call me Lady Bouncy of Dickingstein," she announced with a flourish. "C'mon, selfie time. Ben,
give me your phone." Charlie grabbed me by the arm, grabbed the phone from Ben, then took a
picture of the two of us, me with her tiara and her with my headband. "Goofy faces!" she
commanded before snapping another one.

The picture that resulted was absolutely hilarious. It made even Ben laugh, which was exactly
the thing I'd been trying to accomplish.

"What's going on over here?" Mrs. Bentley's voice. I almost didn't want to turn around and give
her the time of day, but I figured it was inevitable. Better that I take the brunt of it than Ben.

"We're just having a little fun, Mrs. Bentley," I explained.

"Fun?" she said the word as if it left a bad taste in her mouth.

"Lighten up, Mom," Charlie chimed in. "Look at this fabulous gift Evan has made me. Ben truly
has good taste in men. I hope he gets married next." She said all of this with a glint in her eyes
that let me know she enjoyed all of this immensely.

"I can't believe you would stand for these kinds of shenanigans on the day of your wedding,
Charlotta. You still haven't grown up a bit!"

"If you're waiting for me to grow up, you'll be waiting a long time. Sorry not sorry."

"I think you're very grown up," Ben said to his sister, surprising both me and her, by the look on
her face. He turned to his mother. "Charlie's marrying exactly the kind of man you wanted her to
marry, so just let her enjoy her day."

"I'm marrying him because he's great, not because--" Charlie started to protest, but it seemed
Mrs. Bentley wasn't interested in her words.

"This isn't solely her day," she argued. "Our whole family is present, and so is his. How we act
here will reflect on us in the future. How do you still not understand that?"

"I understand just fine. I just don't think it matters as much as you'd like us to believe. Charlie's
happy, that's what matters!"
By now, the conversation had drawn almost everyone's attention. Most people pretended not to
be listening, feigning polite ignorance, but their gazes kept darting toward us all the same.

Mrs. Bentley must have noticed this too, because she was cutting the conversation very short
now. "Your behavior makes me think your father and I made the right decision this morning," she
said, glaring at Ben before turning and sauntering away.

"What is she talking about?" Charlie demanded from her brother once she was gone. "Tell me
what she was talking about."

"Nothing," Ben tried, then seemed to realize that his sister wasn't going to give up. "They're
talking about disowning me."

"What, because you’re gay? That's ridiculous! They can't do that!" Charlie gestured wildly,
drawing more attention again while Ben grew visibly more uncomfortable with everyone looking
our way.

"It's not because I'm gay," he said very quietly. "She just doesn't want me to--" he stopped
abruptly as if he'd been about to say too much. I took his hand and squeezed.

"Whatever it is, it's okay. It's not your fault." My heart ached for Ben. He deserved so much
better than the hand he'd been dealt. Sure, he'd grown up with plenty of money, but I could tell
there hadn't been a lot of care, and now they were going to take the money away too... all
because he wanted something they'd never given him. Love.

Ben dropped his gaze to the floor and his voice turned even quieter. "She said she'd make a list
of men I could date."

A list of... what? Had I heard that right? "Wait, so she's suddenly okay with you being gay? But
only on her terms?"

"Bullshit," Charlie claimed. "That's such fucking bullshit."

I swallowed hard as the whole magnitude of the problem hit me. Ben wasn't being cut off
because he was gay. He was being cut off because he was with me.

And maybe in a year when his sister had a baby, he wouldn't know either.

Holy shit, what was I doing here?

A week ago I hadn't even known I was bi, and now I was making Ben leave his family to be with
me. I knew love and relationships weren't always easy, but damn.
Could I really do that to him?

Would it be worth it, in the end? Or would he come to resent me once he started missing the
luxuries he'd grown up with? I couldn't offer him any of that. Hell, right now I couldn't even offer
him a couch to sleep on, and my sole source of income was slowly dwindling away as we
spoke. I hadn't checked my phone again, but I knew I wouldn't find anything good on there once
I did.

As if he could read my thoughts, Ben squeezed my hand back, then he turned to his sister.
"Okay if Evan and I skip out?"

Charlie looked back and forth between me and him, as if feeling a little lost on what to do. "It's
not going to end like this, Ben," she insisted. "I'll fight her on this, I'll..." she trailed off, obviously
unsure how exactly she was going to fight their mother. "I'll make Dad talk some sense into her."

"It's fine." Ben sounded a little more confident now as he assured his sister. "Seriously, enjoy the
party. I'll be okay." He smiled. If I hadn't known him so well, I would have believed it was a real
smile too. Charlie could probably tell that it was fake just as well as I could, but she didn't point
that out. She only hugged her brother once before letting us go.

"This is seriously not okay," I said to Ben on our way out the hall.

He ignored me to turn around and call for Toto, but the dog had disappeared into the throng of
people. "I thought I saw you bring the dog. Where is the dog?"

"Trying to jump up onto the buffet table." I pointed. "If nobody stops him soon, he's going to
cause a mess."

"You know what? Good." Ben turned again and left. “Not like I can call for a deaf dog, right?
Charlie will take care of him."

Wow. "I never knew you had a rebellious side to you. I like it."

This time, Ben's smile looked a little more genuine. "You bring out the worst in me."

"I try."

Ben took my hand again and didn't let go. "You figured out where to find the next treasure,
right?"

"That's what you want to do now?"

"Nothing I'd rather do."

"Nothing?" I wriggled my eyebrows at him and used my free hand to clap his butt. That got a
little laugh out of him.

"Pervert."

"Like you don't want it."

"I'm not saying no." As confident as Ben sounded about that, there was still a trace of the old
him in the way his cheeks colored. I hoped that would never change.

"Are we taking condoms?"

Ben's cheeks darkened. "Maybe we should...? I don't know."

"No need to get so flustered." I pressed a quick kiss to the side of his face. "Let's just take things
as they come, okay? Or as we come," I added with a wink that had Ben groaning. But that was
okay, just as long as he couldn't tell that I was freaking out a little bit on the inside.

I wanted to fuck Ben, yes, but I also wanted so much more than that now. What if that wasn't
going to work out? What if Charlie couldn't talk some sense into their father?

I'd already taken Ben's virginity. Would it be fair of me to take him away from his family as well?

26

Evan
The spotabove the rocks was just as beautiful as Derek had described it. Even though it was
pretty secluded, we had a clear view of the water with the rocky shoreline spreading out before
us, illuminated by the light of the setting sun. Soon, we'd be sitting under a canopy of stars.

It could have been so romantic...

If only we had come here before having that conversation with Ben's mother...

Ben, however, seemed determined not to let the events of the day disturb him. "Do you see
anything?" he asked.

It was only then that I remembered we were still searching for treasure. "Check the bushes," I
suggested, pointing at the shrubbery growing to our right. "Might be in there."

Ben seemed a little skeptical, but started investigating anyway. "I think, maybe..." His hands dug
deeper into the shrubbery, then he pulled something out. "There it is!" He turned to me with a
grin so triumphant I kind of wanted to kiss him.
Instead, I motioned for him to open the box. "What's in it?"

Ben brushed some dirt off the top of the box, fiddled with the lid, then finally got it open. "It's...
uh..." His cheeks colored again.

"More bouncy dicks?"

"No, just a ton of condoms, and lube."

I laughed, unable to stop myself. "Damn, someone really wants us to fuck. Good thing we didn't
stop to bring our own supplies."

"I guess." Slowly, Ben's cheeks returned to normal again. Almost normal, anyway. "Oh, there's
something else in here."

"What?"

Ben fished a small silver key from the box.

"What's that for?"

Ben shrugged. "No idea." He held it a little closer to his face as if searching for a hint.

"Maybe there's something else in the box?"

Ben rummaged through it again. The box wasn't very large, so it didn't take him long to explore
every inch of it. "Found a note." He pulled it out and read it. "It's an address, back in Atlanta. I’m
guessing it’ll be a locker."

My eyebrows climbed up my forehead. This was getting intriguing enough to make me forget my
other troubles for a moment. Part of me itched to get out my phone and snap a picture for
Instagram. Then I remembered that my Instagram career was over. Nothing to salvage there,
and it was my own fault for not being honest about everything in the first place. I'd told myself I
couldn't reveal Ben's secret and risk his family finding out, but that was nothing more than an
excuse. I seriously doubted that Ben's parents spent much time on Instagram...

No, in reality, I'd loved that this relationship was getting me more followers. It was an awful
thought, but I couldn't deny it. I'd done it for the attention. All of this.

Until my goals had shifted, almost without my noticing.

Now all I cared about was being with Ben. Being there for him too, but my dishonesty had come
back to bite me in the ass.
Silently, I swore to myself that I'd never fake my feelings about anything or anyone ever again.

"You want to post about this?" Ben asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head and sat on the ground, drawing my knees to my chest in a half-hearted attempt
to enjoy the view.

Ben settled next to me. "We should try to find out what this key opens. I want to know now."

"I bet there'll be more oddities."

"Counting on it."

"Who do you think set this up?"

Ben shrugged. "Could have been anyone, I guess. Maybe someone who visited before us. It's
all so weird, but... I don't know. I'm starting to like weird."

"Yeah? Weird like me?"

"You're not weird, you're unconventional," Ben said, even as his gaze flicked to my hair, which
would need to be dyed again soon. "Totally unconventional, and I love it."

I gave him a smile. Those words were so close to what I wished he'd say. To what I wished he'd
feel.

But it was too early for love between us, wasn't it? We'd barely been boyfriends for a day. Ben
hadn't been with anyone before me. There was a good chance the only reason he liked me now
was because he didn't know better, because he'd been repressed for so many years and now
he finally got to have sex.

Of course he didn't want to give that up.

"What are you thinking about?" Ben asked when I remained quiet for too long.

I let myself fall back on my back, barely noticing the rough ground underneath my suit. "How
amazing this could be right now." The sun was sinking deeper in the sky and the first stars were
becoming visible. Soon, it would be dark around us, with nothing but the light of the moon and
the stars reflecting on the ocean before us.

This could have been our perfect last night on this island.

A perfect start into our new relationship.

Now I wasn't so sure if this was the start or the end.

"It is amazing," Ben insisted, lying down next to me. "I've never felt this liberated in my life."

"Sure, you think that now, but what about when..."

"When what?" Ben cut in when I couldn't find the words quickly enough.

God, I hated to accuse him of being shallow, but I had to be realistic here. "You're used to a very
high standard of living. What happens when you get tired of slumming it? I can't offer you
anything. I basically just lost my job."

"What do you mean you lost your job?" Ben leaned up on one elbow to study me.

"Someone online figured out that I was lying about being gay."

"But you weren't lying!" Ben protested. "You were just... trying to help me. And then things
changed. I mean, they did change, didn't they?"

I almost laughed at that, at the outraged expression on Ben's face too. "Everything changed." I
looked up at the stars again. Crazy to think how different my life, my own perception of myself,
had been only a week ago. "I just didn't know at the time. I'm still not gay, I don't think. Bisexual
seems more appropriate."

"I don't care if you're gay or bi."

"I know you don't, but I'll have a hell of a time explaining this to my followers. Why would they
believe me now? It's a ridiculous story. I faked being gay to help my roommate, but then I fell in
love with my roommate before I knew it."

Ben's eyes widened.

I was about to ask him what was wrong when I realized. I'd just said that I was in love with him.
Goddammit. He must think I was a total weirdo now. Moving way too fast. I held my breath while
my brain tried to come up with some way to walk this back.

"Did you um... Did you mean that?" Ben asked quietly, as if he was afraid of the sound of his
own voice--or the answer he might receive.

I wasn't sure what he wanted to hear, but hadn’t I just learned that sticking with the truth was the
best policy? "I meant what I said, but I shouldn't have said it."

"Why not?"
"Because we've only been actually dating for a day and now everything's..." I gestured vaguely,
struggling with the words. "It's all going to shit."

"It's not going to shit, and I don't care that we've only been dating for a day!" A quiet sort of
determination took over Ben's features. "I love you too."

I sat up. "You don't have to say that."

"But I mean it!"

In spite of everything, a smile tugged on my lips. "Ben..."

"No, I mean it! I've had a crush on you since the day you moved in."

That gave me pause. Was he for real? How had I never known that?

"I'm sorry if that's creepy," Ben added. "I wasn't going to tell you. I was never going to do
anything about it, but then... I don't know. I guess I just really liked the idea of you being my
boyfriend, even if it was only pretend." Even in the sparse light, I could tell that he was blushing
again.

I pulled him in for a kiss, a long one that left both of us just a little bit breathless. "Don't ever
change, okay?"

"Change can be good."

Okay, I had to give him that. He'd made amazing progress over the past couple days, and I'd
changed too, hadn't I? Just in different ways.

"C'mon, let's take a picture." Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Photographic evidence."

"There's too little light," I protested weakly. "It'll look terrible. Besides, you don't want your picture
up on Instagram. You've told me so."

"Maybe I just want the picture for myself. I don't care how terrible it looks, I want to remember
this moment forever." With that, he pressed a kiss to my cheek while simultaneously taking a
picture.

The flash hurt my eyes, but I didn't complain. Instead, I pressed Ben closer to myself. "You
shouldn't have to give up everything for me. It's too much."

"I don't care about any of that. No amount of money could ever have bought me this."
That was a point I couldn't argue with. Still, guilt nagged at the back of my mind. I wanted
everything for Ben, and I hated the thought that he might lose out on something because of me.

"I became an uncle today," I said. “Well, last week, actually.”

My words seemed to surprise Ben. "You what?"

"My sister had a baby. Jenny told me. I had no idea. All because I cut contact with my parents."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want that to be you and Charlie someday."

"But I'm not fighting with Charlie," Ben said. "Only my parents."

"I didn't fight with my sister either. It was just easy to fall out of contact because she still lives in
that town and I refuse to go back there." I sighed. "I should have made more of an effort."

"I'll promise you that I'll make an effort to stay in touch with Charlie if that makes you feel better.
You know she'd probably show up at my door unannounced and kick it in if I didn't respond to
her texts for a week."

"I love your sister."

"More than me?"

"Nope, not more than you."

Ben grinned. "It'll be okay," he reassured me. "Just stay with me. Just..." When words failed him,
he leaned in to kiss me again. "Let's enjoy our last night here."

"You have anything particular in mind?"

Ben really had grown because he hesitated for only one second before saying, "Why don't we
put those condoms to use?"

"Here? In public?"

"It's dark!"

"Well, then, don't mind if I do." I kissed him once more, needing him close, needing to feel his
body against mine. I loved him. Yes, it was early to say that, early to feel that, but I couldn't deny
the way he made my heart speed up, or the warmth that flooded my body when he touched me,
or my own fierce desire to make him mine.
He pressed a condom into my hand. I gently pushed him down onto the ground. "Is that okay?
Or is it too hard on your back?" I asked. “Don’t want to destroy your fancy suit.”

"I wouldn't care if it was hot coals under my back right now."

"You want it that bad?"

Ben licked his lips. "Don't make me ask for it."

There was an idea. "Are you sure about that?" I leaned in to kiss his neck, inhaling the scent of
his skin. "You wouldn't like it if I made you beg?"

He made an odd little sound, almost a squeal.

"I wouldn't leave you begging for long," I promised before nibbling at his earlobe. He gasped,
obviously sensitive there. I smirked, remembering where else he was sensitive. I was gonna
make him feel so good he would never forget this night, whatever else happened in his life,
whoever else he might sleep with in the future, the memory of me would be burned into his skin.
I would make sure of that.

Slowly, I took off his suit jacket, his shirt, then his pants. His back arched a little as his lower
body was exposed, as if he was already seeking friction. I smiled down at him. "You're so
beautiful like this." I only wished there were a little more light so I could tell exactly how deep his
blush went.

"Don't just look at me."

"No? What else do you want me to do?"

"Just uh..." God it was fun to watch him squirm, his hard cock jutting into the air and begging for
attention. "Touch me?"

"Only because you asked so nicely." I started on his nipples, sucking each of them into my
mouth while I rolled the other one between my fingers until both of them were nice and hard and
every brush of my thumb across them made Ben's breath hitch just a little. Then I kissed my
way down his body, making sure not to leave a single inch of his skin untouched as I
approached his groin with my mouth. He was panting by the time my fingers reached the edges
of his pubic hair.

"That what you wanted?" I asked.

"Not enough."
I rested my hands on his inner thighs. God, his cock looked so nice like this. So edible. I never
thought I'd feel this way about another man's cock, but there it was. "You want me to suck your
dick? All you have to do is say it."

Ben's mouth opened, then closed again. "I...uh..."

"Yes?" I placed a kiss on his inner thigh, just an inch away from his balls. "Tell me what you
want."

"Shit, Evan, just... please?"

I wrapped my hand around his rock-hard cock, rubbing my thumb across the sensitive head.
Ben's hips strained up.

"Please," he said again.

"Please what?"

"Please suck me."

I smiled, and dove down on him. He gave a long, throaty moan that only spurred me on further. I
didn't mean to get him off like this, but I did want to drive him insane, and I was making pretty
good progress on that. While I took him deeper into my mouth, I let my hand wander down his
crack, to his hole, which twitched at the touch of my finger, almost as if he wanted to suck me
inside.

Desire pulsed through me. God, I wanted to be in him. Pound into him and feel his tight heat
around me, squeezing me.

For just a moment, I let Ben slip outside my mouth so I could grab the lube we'd been so
graciously provided and spread it on my fingers. The desire in Ben's eyes as he watched me
mirrored my own.

"Gonna get you ready for me," I murmured before I guided my hand back to his hole. His legs
spread in invitation. I took him into my mouth again. He cursed, almost inaudibly, as my finger
penetrated him. He wasn't the loudest lover I'd ever had, but damn, I loved hearing every sound
he made as I moved my mouth on his cock, as I moved my finger inside of him.

I especially loved it when he moaned my name.

Made me hard like nothing else.

God, I wanted him now. Wanted to be in him.

I added another finger, then a third, aiming for that spot that made him squirm every time I
brushed it. And then I couldn't take the wait anymore.

Rapidly, I unbuttoned my own pants, put on the condom, and lubed myself up.

"Evan..." Ben made my name sound like a plea.

I kissed him, hard and deep, claiming his mouth the way I wanted to claim the rest of his
body--and more than his body, his soul.

"Want you," he gasped. "Please."

"You'll never have to ask me for that," I promised even as I lined myself up with his hole and
guided myself into him. I'd prepared him well, but still, I made myself go slow. Too slow for both
of our needs, but I never wanted to hurt him. Ben's eyes closed and his inner walls gripped me
so tightly I couldn't push all the way in without my own breath leaving me in a rush.

"God, you feel so good."

Ben responded with a low hum of pleasure, but if he was beyond words, that was okay with me.
We didn't need words now. Our bodies could do the talking for us. Once I was sure that Ben had
adjusted to me, I fucked into him. I wanted to go slow, but I couldn't. He felt too good. My need
burned too strong. I had to fuck him. Really fuck him. Much harder than I had the last time.

Ben didn't seem to mind, though.

If anything, his moans grew even louder, and the way he clenched around me...

God.

It was fucking amazing.

I never wanted it to end, never wanted to return to reality. Once I felt myself teetering too close
to the edge, I made myself slow down. Ben whined in protest of the new pace. I caught his lips
between my own, rolling my hips gently, basking in the sharp desire coursing through my body
with every move.

Ben bucked up again, his cock slapping against my belly. I wrapped my hand around it, ripping a
soft keening noise from Ben's throat. "Please," he managed. "Please, please, please."

How could I say no to that?

I pumped his dick, thrust into him with all the strength I had.
His inner walls contracted around me as he came with a cry, nearly sobbing from the force of his
climax, and I followed him right over the edge. As I shot my load into the condom, I imagined
that I wasn't wearing one, that I was claiming Ben for myself with my seed. The thought made
me spurt again, left me shuddering as all the tension went out of my limbs and bone-deep
satisfaction set into me.

"Mine," I murmured as I lay down next to Ben and pulled him against my chest, kissed the
sweat-slicked skin of his neck.

"Yours," he agreed softly.

A smile formed on my lips and my heart swelled. Ben was mine.

And I was going to find a way to take care of him.

27
Evan
I wokeup the next morning to Ben nudging my side. "Five more minutes," I murmured and rolled
over. Ben wasn't a morning person himself. Why wasn't he letting me sleep? At some point
during the night, we had made it back to our hotel room, and the bed was wonderfully
comfortable.

"You'll like this!"

"Like what?" Groggily, I opened my eyes to blink at him. He very nearly shoved his phone into
my face.

"It's your Instagram page," he explained, even though I could clearly see that. I squinted at the
numbers next to my profile picture. My follower count had gone down a bit, but not nearly as
drastically as I thought it would. It was still early in the day, though, and the news hadn't been
circulating for long yet.

Ben took the phone away again and tapped at it while something wet licked my face. Toto. "Hey,
buddy." I turned my cheek away. Charlie had dropped the dog off before we'd gone to sleep last
night. "You having a good morning?"

Ben laughed. "Toto's having the time of his life. I think he absolutely gorged himself on the buffet
yesterday... which doesn't stop him from whining for breakfast, though."

"Greedy little thing." I scratched the fur above the dog's collar. He jumped from the bed and
pawed at the door.
"Just a minute," Ben told him, then showed me his phone again. "Was that really you?"

Was I what? I took the phone from Ben and looked at the page he'd opened on it. Someone
else's Instagram feed. I didn't recognize the profile picture, but I recognized the name.
Bounce-and-Pounce. My heart dropped.

I wanted to weigh in with some insider information regarding the recent shirt storm around
FitInk44. It's true they faked their relationship at the start, but he had the hots for the guy all
along. I knew it from the start. Won me twenty bucks too! See for proof.

Attached to the post were screenshots of our chat log with my username highlighted in pink.
Some of the messages I'd posted were also highlighted. Like, 'Now I want to be the best
possible boyfriend.’

When I looked up again, Ben was watching me curiously. "That's true?" he asked again.

Instead of responding, I handed him my phone with the chat opened on it. "Every word."

There were some new messages too. CollegeStudButt and Bounce-and-Pounce bickering
about whether Bounce was insane to post our private conversation. It was a bold move, I
agreed. Now the post was going viral on Instagram, and though I wasn't regaining my old
followers, for the most part, I was collecting some new ones.

I kept staring at my phone, unable to believe what was happening. Bounce might just have
saved my job, so to say. Now at least I could pay for a cheap room for me and Ben...

"I don't deserve this," I found myself muttering. "I lied to people."

"Your content is still good," Ben argued. "Your videos have helped a lot of people get fit. There's
tons of posts saying so."

"You've been following my Instagram?"

Ben blushed, but only a little. "Ever since you moved in with me," he admitted.

"I didn't think you even had an account."

"I go by ShyGuy33."

"Seriously?"

Ben nodded. His cheeks were bright red now, but he managed to hold my gaze. "I didn't want
you to know."
"You really had a crush on me all this time? You weren't just saying that last night?" Maybe it
was annoying to ask again, but I just couldn't believe my luck. Everything was working out way
too smoothly. Not only had I discovered a new side of myself, I'd also gained a boyfriend along
the way... and saved my business.

Ben licked his lips, his eyes darting to the side. "You remember that drawing your date posted
on Instagram?"

"Of course I do."

"It wasn't the only one." Ben wouldn't look straight at me as he said that, which made me
wonder exactly how many other drawings there were, and what they looked like... and if any of
them were pornographic. There I went, thinking with my dick again. These days, it seemed I
could never go too long without resorting to that around Ben.

"I need to see all of them."

"I left my sketchbook back home."

"We'll be back there soon."

Ben brightened. "You're coming with me?"

As if there'd been any doubt... "To the end of the world."

"Good, 'cause we might just end up there. I have no idea when my parents will throw me out,
but I'll start packing as soon as we arrive home." He said that as if none of this frazzled him at
all. He was completely prepared to take the fall for this relationship.

What kind of man would I have been if I'd let him?

"I just realized there's somewhere I need to go before I head back to Atlanta." I tried to sound as
calm and collected as I could. In a way, I was. For Ben, I could do this.

"Where do you want to go?"

"West Virginia. I need to visit my sister and congratulate her on the birth of her son."

Ben's eyes widened. He understood what a big deal this was for me, that I hadn't set foot in my
hometown in years. But it needed to be done. I needed to be done. Get some closure instead of
running.

"You shouldn't go there by yourself," Ben said. "I'll come with you."
"Didn't you want to get packing?"

"It can wait," he insisted. "Besides, I wanna see where you grew up."

"You're not going to be impressed. It'll be nothing like where you grew up. No mile-long
driveways and perfectly manicured lawns."

"As if I care about that shit." Ben's nose wrinkled adorably. "I'll get us plane tickets. Do we need
a hotel?"

"I don't want to stay any longer than I have to," I said, Ben already tapping away on his phone.
"Don't order first class tickets," I warned him. "That shit is way too expensive."

He glanced up at me. "All right, I'll get business class."

I sighed and shook my head at him, but said nothing. Baby steps.

At the door, Toto whined.

“Wait,” I said to Ben. “Can we take Toto on a commercial flight?”

Ben shot me a blank look.

“You’ll have to check the airline’s policy on pet transport. We’re not putting him in cargo.”

“Oh, okay.” Ben looked down at his phone again and smiled. “I’ll figure it out.”

“All right.” I gave him a quick kiss, then rose from the bed and pulled on some shorts before
grabbing the dog's leash. "One last stroll on the beach before we go?"

Toto barked as if he'd heard me, but that was probably just his reaction to the leash. "We really
need to look into teaching him sign language."

"We can hire a trainer for that," Ben suggested.

"Nope, we're going to learn from books and online videos and save a ton of money." I hooked
the leash to Toto's collar before turning to Ben again. "You still sure you want to live in my
world?"

Ben laid the phone aside to focus his attention on me. "Nothing I'd rather do."

"All right, as long as you don't regret that decision."

"I won't." He looked dead serious, too, as he said this. "Besides, it's not your fault that my
parents are cutting me off."

"They wouldn't if you dated someone else."

Ben made a face as he slid off the bed to join me by the door. It was a shame he'd already
gotten dressed before he'd woken me. Might be for the best, though. Otherwise, Toto would
never have gotten his walk. "It's not just about dating you, it's about breaking free. Living my
own life, making my own choices," Ben said. "Taking their money means taking all the strings
attached to it. I don't want that anymore." He leaned up a bit to brush our lips together. "Getting
you as my boyfriend is just an added benefit of gaining my freedom."

"Well, when you put it like that..." I gave him a kiss in return, and if Toto hadn't started barking
again, we might have spent a few more minutes like that, completely wrapped up in each other.

"All right, let's walk the dog before he goes crazy."

Ben laughed. "Pretty sure it's too late for that." He opened the door for me. "After you."

"What a gentleman you are." I stepped through the door. Ben followed.

"My nanny raised me right." He grinned. "If you ask nicely, maybe I'll even teach you the
difference between salad forks and dinner forks."

"Oh, shut up. If you're staying with me, you won't be using fancy cutlery again any time soon."

"Can't say I'm even a little bit sad about that."

I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed as we walked. "Good, let's keep it that
way."

In my pocket, my phone vibrated. I took it out and gave it a brief glance, intending to dismiss the
many messages, until I noticed one notification from ShyGuy33. Ben's Instagram name. He'd
tagged me in a picture. I tapped to show it. It was that horribly-lit picture from last night, both of
us sort of squinting at the camera, and there on my head... Oh God.

"I didn't realize I was still wearing your sister's tiara!"

"It suited you!"

And now everyone on Instagram was going to see it. After all the trouble I went through to have
all my content look good. The funny thing was, I didn't even care. I kind of loved it, actually.
Hadn't I wanted to be more real with people?
This was definitely as real as it got.

28

Ben
Evan seemednervous during the flight to West Virginia, which was weird, because I'd never
seen him nervous before. Not even when he'd stepped onto a plane to be stuck on an island
with my definitely weird family. Only we weren't traveling to see my family now, but his.

It was my turn to be the confident one. That was okay. I could handle that. I had backup from
Toto, too, who charmed the flight attendant into ignoring the fact that he was out of his carrier
and spent the whole flight in Evan's lap.

I tried to make small-talk to distract him from the situation, asked Evan what his time at high
school had been like. He'd been an athlete, no surprise there. Not football, but basketball, but
he was generally good with all kinds of balls, which I could attest to. That got a little chuckle out
of him, at least.

When we arrived at the airport near Evan's hometown, we rented a car and drove the rest of the
way. I offered to drive, but Evan said that he wanted to be behind the wheel, that it would give
him something to focus on other than thoughts about his parents.

"Think we should pick up a gift?" I suggested. "For the kid."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Evan glanced at me with a small smile. "Thanks for being
on top of this. And for coming."

"No problem."

We found a strip mall along the road and made a short stop to pick out a plush doll for the baby.
Amazingly, we found a stuffed toy that looked almost exactly like Toto. "It's perfect," I decided.
"Everyone should have a Toto."

Evan snorted, but agreed and proceeded to buy the toy.

"Guess our next stop is Sally's house," he murmured as we got back into the car.

"Nervous?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer to that question.

Evan shrugged it off. "I'll be okay. It's just my little sister."

"Your little sister who you haven't seen in a few years," I pointed out. "And now you're bringing a
boyfriend."
"I hadn't even thought about that. Coming out..."

"You think it's going to be an issue?"

"Honestly? I don't know. We’ve never talked about it."

I nodded, hoping that his sister would be open to the idea nonetheless. I wanted Evan to have a
relationship with her again. Maybe because I couldn't imagine my own life without my sister in it.

"If she's not cool with it, we just leave," Evan said as if it was no big deal.

"We don't have to tell her," I suggested. "At least not right away."

Evan shot my idea down quite firmly. "I'm not going to introduce you as my friend. Anyone who's
not okay with you doesn't need to be in my life."

That was so sweet I had to blink rapidly and take a deep breath so I wouldn't embarrass myself
by wiping my eyes.

How could I be this lucky?

"You okay?" Evan asked.

"More than okay," I said quickly. What was I doing? I was supposed to be the one doing the
comforting here! "Let's go! I'm sure your sister will be excited to see you!"

The soft smile that appeared on Evan's lips told me that he knew exactly what I was doing, and
that he appreciated it, even if he wasn't going to say it, or call me out. "Yeah, let's go," he said
simply, and with that, he turned the key in the ignition.

***

Meeting Evan's sister was nothing at all like meeting my family must have been like for him.
There were no disapproving stares, no heavy silences as Sally and her husband took in my
appearance. In fact, they hardly paid any attention to me at first.

For a good ten seconds or so after opening the door, Sally simply stared at her brother, then it
sounded like she was about to ask him what the hell he was doing here, then she stopped
herself mid-sentence and hugged him instead.

"You bastard!" she cried. "You never show up."

Evan stood there a little awkwardly for a moment, then hugged her back. "I'm sorry," he said. "I
wasn't trying to avoid you, just... you know."

She stepped back with a heavy sigh. "Mom and Dad. I know."

"How are they doing?" He smiled, but I could tell that he was faking it. His dimples didn't go
deep enough.

"They're doing all right, I guess. But let's not talk about them. Come inside." Sally waved the two
of us in and lead us to their living room.

"We brought a gift," I spoke up, drawing everyone's attention for the first time.

"Oh, that's lovely. What a cute toy." Sally took the stuffed dog from me.

"Thank you," her husband added. "Looks just like your dog, huh?"

"Yes, that's why we picked it," I said, glancing at my dog, who had stayed behind near the door,
sniffing at the shoes lined up there. He’d better not chew on any of those. That wouldn't help me
make a good impression here.

"Toto!" I tried calling him, even though I knew it was a moot point.

"That's his name?" Sally asked. "That's very cute."

"Yes, he's Toto. I'm Ben," I added. 'Sorry, I didn't introduce myself properly." Offering Sally my
hand, I secretly hoped she wasn't going to ask for my full name. One of these days, I needed to
look into changing it to something less embarrassing.

"Oh, I think that's my brother's failing." Sally shook my hand with a smile, and--thankfully--didn't
ask. "I'm Sally, and this is my husband Peter." She gestured at her partner, who had just gotten
a couple of beers from the kitchen for everyone. Sally took one and turned to me again. "You're
one of Evan's friends?"

"I, uh..."

Evan cleared his throat. "He's my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Sally whirled around to her brother. "You have a boyfriend?"

"He's standing right before you."

"But you're not gay."

Evan shrugged, though the gesture seemed a little forced. "Thought I'd try something new."

"Something new?" Sally sounded as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Trying
something new is for books and nail polish, not sexualities."

"Look, if it's a problem with you then--"

"Oh come off it, it's not a problem. I just can't believe I didn't even know that about you. It's
because you never call!"

I exhaled a breath of relief because at least it seemed like Sally wasn't a homophobe, and really,
she had a point.

"I didn't even know you were pregnant!" Evan shot back. "So we're even."

Sally opened her mouth to make another retort, but seemed to change her mind at the last
minute. "Oh whatever. Maybe you're right. I got busy, you know? Life's busy." She popped the
cap on her beer and took a large sip. "Man, it feels good to be able to have a drink again."

Just as she said that, though, a loud, wailing noise interrupted our conversation. The baby,
probably.

"I got it," Peter volunteered. "You talk to your brother, honey."

"Thank you, sugar buns." Sally gave her husband a quick peck on the cheek before he left the
room to take care of their offspring.

Meanwhile, my eyes wandered to Toto again. He hadn't tried to turn any of the shoes into food
yet. Good.

"How did you know I was pregnant anyway?" Sally addressed Evan.

"I heard from Jenny."

"You saw Jenny?"

"She pretended to be Ben's cousin's girlfriend at Ben's sister's wedding last weekend... it's a
long story."

"Sounds like an interesting story."

Evan laughed. "You could say that." He paused before asking, "Can I see him?"

"The baby? Yes, of course! Peter!" she called for her husband. "Come here with Thomas!"
Peter didn't have to be asked twice. He seemed only too happy to parade his newborn son
around. I got it. That baby was adorable. All rosy cheeks and bright eyes.

"Would you like to hold him?" Sally asked Evan. "Be careful, though!"

"Yes, sure." Evan cradled his nephew very carefully in his arms. I smiled at the awe in his
expression as he gazed down at the newest member of his family. It was a good thing we had
made this trip.

At least, that was what I thought until someone knocked at the front door.

Sally's eyes darted to Evan. She bit her lower lip. "That must be them."

"Mom and Dad?" Evan asked.

My stomach tightened.

"I'll go send them away," Sally said.

"It's okay," Evan said, surprising both me and his sister. "I'm not going to let them chase me off
again."

"But..." Sally started to protest, then stopped. "Fine. But no shouting matches in front of the kid."

"I promise I'm not going to yell."

While Sally went to the door, I followed her to get my dog away from there. "C'mon, Toto." I
tugged at his collar and showed him a treat. With a bark, he allowed me to lead him back into
the living room, where I stood by Evan's side, close enough to feel how tense he was.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.

"I'll be fine." He took my hand and squeezed, as if I was the one needing reassurance. "I've run
from this for long enough."

I nodded, even though I couldn't picture Evan running from anything.

Sally greeted her parents at the door, and then they all came into the living room. The moment
Mr. and Mrs. Stadtler stepped in and their eyes landed on Evan, silence descended upon the
room.

Mr. Stadtler was the first to speak. "Didn't think I'd see your face around here again," he said in
a gruff tone of voice.
"I didn't come here for you," Evan responded calmly.

"No, obviously not. You don't give a shit about me and your mother. You never have."

"Dad!" Sally said sharply.

Evan handed his nephew to Peter before speaking again, and I was impressed by the sober
tone of his voice. "I never wished for anything bad to happen to either of you, but my life is
better without you in it."

Mr. Stadtler didn't seem to have anything to say in response to that, but Mrs. Stadtler did. "How
dare you?" she demanded. "After everything we did for you! Clothing and feeding you for
eighteen years!"

"I'm not going to argue with you. Unless you want to apologize for the way you treated me, I
have nothing more to say to you."

Mrs. Stadtler made a high-pitched sort of noise that was caught somewhere between anger and
outrage. Then she turned to Sally. "Tell him to leave!"

"I'll do no such thing. He's right, Mom, you’re the one who needs to apologize."

"I have nothing to apologize for!" Mrs. Stadtler insisted. "That money should have been mine,
and you all know it! If he weren't so greedy--"

"Cut it out, Mom." Sally put her hands on her hips as she glared at her mother. "Be nice or get
going."

"This is ridiculous," Mr. Stadtler said. "C'mon, Dolly, we don't have to listen to this." He took his
wife by the arm and led her back to the door. She glared at all of us once more before going.

Evan's shoulders loosened as soon as they were out of sight.

"That was tense," I murmured.

Evan laid an arm around my waist, drawing me closer against the warmth of his body. "Sorry
you had to witness that."

"It's fine. Not any worse than my family."

"At least we still have our sisters."

"Yeah, I guess." I gave Evan a smile.

He turned to Sally. "Thanks for sticking up for me."

She waved him off. "Any time. It was long overdue. I can't believe they're still bitter about that
money. What did you end up doing with it anyway?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Sally shot her brother an incredulous look. "Really?" She laughed. "Much ado about
nothing, indeed."

"I have a plan for it now," Evan said.

"What plan?" I asked, intrigued, because I hadn't heard anything about this.

Evan dropped a kiss on the side of my head. "You'll see."

29

Ben
Our first dayback in Atlanta, it was time to complete our treasure hunt. We rode an Uber to the
address on the key, which turned out to be a post box. We were both a little distracted during
the ride. Evan kept fiddling with his phone, and I was texting with my sister.

Originally, I'd meant to ask her how her honeymoon in Japan was going, but she kept bringing
the topic back around to what was going on in my life instead. I didn't have much to tell her.
Honestly, I didn't know what was going on in my life. Our parents hadn't contacted me again
since the wedding and I had no idea how much time I had left before they'd start trying to kick
me out of my place, but I knew that it was probably best to start packing soon.

"But where are you going to go?" Charlie asked.

"No clue," I admitted. "Evan has been couch surfing for ages, he'll figure something out."

"Seriously?" Charlie wrote back. I couldn't see her face, but I imagined that she was looking
nonplussed. "You should just move in with me and Walker."

"No way." I wasn't going to run crying to my sister because I'd fought with Mom and Dad.

"I talked to Dad, but he's being just as stubborn as Mom. It's insane. This could take forever.
You need somewhere to live."

"I'll find somewhere to live," I reassured her, even though I didn't yet know how. "It'll work out."
With that, I put my phone aside before she could ask me to move in with her again. It was good
to have that option, yes, but it was time I started living my own life, wasn't it?

Besides, I didn't want to get her in trouble too.

After a few minutes, the car arrived at our destination and we tipped the driver and climbed out.
Locating the right box took us another couple of minutes. Especially because Evan kept typing
on his phone instead of searching with me. I asked him what he was doing, but he said that it
was a secret. I let it slide. For now.

"Here it is!" I said when I found locker number 423. "You got the key?"

Evan handed it to me and I turned it in the lock.

Neither of us was surprised to find a box inside. It was larger than the ones we'd found on the
island, though. Almost as big as a moving box.

"Wanna open it here or take it back to your place first?"

I thought about it. Did I want to know what was inside? Yes, but what if it was sex toys? "Maybe
open it just a tiny bit so we can look inside."

"All right." Following my suggestion, Evan peeled back one of the flaps keeping the box shut
until we could catch a glimpse of its contents.

"Is that... lingerie?" I asked. "Oh God, it is, isn't it?"

Suddenly, I knew who the box was from. Who all the boxes had been from--and I felt like an
absolute idiot for not realizing sooner. Aunt Rosy. She had to be the one behind this whole
scheme. She had a very successful lingerie business. And she'd been at the beach when Toto
had dug up that first box.

Some of the other hiding spots might have been tough to access for her, but where there was
money, there was a way.

"Aunt Rosy sent us on this goose chase," I said out loud.

"What makes you say that?"

I grabbed into the box and pulled out a silky slip. On the inseam, I found the name of her
company. Fancy Pants Unlimited. "Look. It's her business."

"But why...?"
I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know why. Because she thinks this kind of thing is fun?"

"It was fun. I'm glad she did it. Gave us something to focus on other than your parents' need to
control you."

He had a point there, but still... "What are we supposed to do with a bunch of slips?"

Evan took the skimpy piece of fabric from me and eyed it closely. "Feels kind of nice, doesn't it?"

"But they’re for women."

"Yeah, I don't think they are." He paused. "These are manties."

"They're... what?" I asked, even though I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"Panties, but for men."

"But why?"

Evan only grinned at me. "We'll keep these. Tell your aunt thanks. We should invite her to our
housewarming party."

"Housewarming party?" Now he was really confusing me.

"I've been doing some research," he explained. "Turns out the money I have in my savings is
just enough for a down payment."

For nearly half a minute, I only stared at Evan, trying to process. "You're buying a house? Are
you being serious?"

"Dead serious.”

“In Atlanta?”

Evan’s grin grew even wider. “Yup, right here. Would you like to be my roommate?"

I slung my arms around Evan's neck and kissed him.

Epilogue
Ben
The house Evanended up buying wasn't anywhere near as fancy as my old apartment had
been, and it wasn't in the greatest area of town, either, but it was still perfect. Two bedrooms,
one bath, a small front porch and a small backyard for Mrs. Daisy and Toto to run around in.

And no parents to tell us what to do.

I'd decided to quit my business management degree and enroll in veterinary school instead. My
savings wouldn't cover tuition entirely, but fortunately I had a year or two until I'd have to start
worrying about that. I also had a month of vacation left over before school would even start.

Evan didn't have as much leisure time as I had. Only a few weeks ago he'd started working as a
personal trainer to bring in some more money. He enjoyed the job, though, and I enjoyed when
he came home all sweaty… or with some new ink. His latest tattoo was a rainbow turtle on his
ankle that I’d helped him design. #GoingSteady, he’d tagged the post on Instagram. It made me
grin every time I saw it.

While Evan was out of the house, I busied myself with training Toto. Evan had been right; the
internet could teach you anything. Each day, our dog was making more and more progress--and
demanding more and more treats as rewards.

"You've had enough," I decided with a laugh when he stood on his hind legs to beg for more
treats after he'd just received three. "Go play in the yard." Along with my words, I made the sign
for him to go outside through the open patio door. To my delight, he went without argument.

Such a smart dog.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, I realized that it was nearly time for Evan to come home. I also
realized that I'd promised to unpack some more boxes, and I hadn't even started yet.

Sighing, I eyed the stack of boxes we'd piled against one wall of the living room. Most of those
things were mine, so it was only right that I'd be the one doing most of the unpacking. I was
about to open the box on the far right when the one in the middle caught my eye.

It wasn't a moving box. Not technically. It was the treasure we'd received from Aunt Rosy. Evan
and I had never looked inside again after returning home from the post boxes that day, but every
now and then, I thought about it, and since I was alone now, I opened the box.

There were a lot of those things inside. What had Evan called them? Manties? The idea of
putting them on still weirded me out a little, but running my hand through the box felt nice. Evan
had been right; the material felt great against my skin.

What would it feel like against my crotch?

While my dick was hard?

I gulped as the idea made heat rise in my cheeks.

And then my hand brushed against something that wasn't fabric. It felt like... paper? I pulled an
envelope out of the box and opened it.

My eyes went wide as they scanned the content of the letter inside.

Was this...?

Holy shit.

***

"I found something while unpacking today," I informed Evan as soon as he was home.

He glanced at me while taking his shoes off. "What did you find?"

"Aunt Rosy hid this envelope in the box." I waved it in his face. "Look."

He took it from me and looked at the piece of paper inside. "What is this?"

"A copy of her will," I explained. "She's designated me as heir to half her estate."

Evan stared at me. "How much money is that? No, wait, it doesn't matter. We don't want her to
die."

"No way!" I said quickly. "It's just... I never thought... I don't think there's any strings attached,
you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. I'm happy for you." Evan pulled me in a hug and gave me a quick kiss while I
inhaled the scent of his sweat--not too sharp today, just right. "This is amazing, Ben."

"Yes, it really is."

"But what were you doing with that box?" Evan's tone turned teasing. "Got curious?"

"I deny everything."

That made him laugh. "All right, be that way. I don't need you to put on any kind of lingerie for
me."

I looked up at him, honestly curious. "But you'd like it if I did?"

He leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I like the idea of you walking around in it all day until I come
home to take it off you with my teeth."

I flushed, almost instantly hard at the images those words put into my head. Hot damn. I still
didn't know if I wanted what Evan wanted, but I liked the way he made it sound. "You'd take it off
with your teeth?"

"Maybe not immediately. I'd massage your dick through the fabric first. Watch you squirm as the
silk rubs against you. You'd like it too. I'd have you begging me to go on and fuck you in no
time."

Okay, my face was definitely deep red now--and it only got worse when Evan reached for me
and his fingers found the bulge in my pants.

"What if I begged you?" I made myself ask.

"Mh... I think I'd take mercy on you." Evan spoke the words into my ear, a low, sensual hum that
made all the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand up. At the same time that he spoke, he
shoved his hand into my pants. "I'd throw you on the bed and fuck you. Hard, deep and fast."
With every word, he gave my dick a rough jerk. A soft sound escaped me. Evan didn't miss it.
"You like that fantasy."

Was there any point denying it?

"Maybe I'll... try it someday."

"Imagine it." Evan pumped my hard length again. "Imagine feeling the lace against your skin as
I'm getting you off."

I shuddered. "Evan..." I tried to make his name sound like a warning, because damn it, the ideas
he was putting into my head... the way he massaged me... he knew exactly what that would do
to me.

He didn't seem inclined to stop, though. Instead, he upped his pace, and I could do nothing but
cling to his shoulders as he unraveled me, with his hand and with his words. "I'd get you nice
and ready for me. Maybe have you smell the panties you'd been wearing all day for me, waiting
for me to come home, getting hard and smearing precum over the lace..."

I made a strangled sort of noise, and then I couldn't hold back any longer, spending myself all
over Evan's hand, chest heaving, shoulders shaking and holding on to him for dear life.

Evan pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I'd say that took less than five minutes?" He chuckled. "I
still got it."
"Screw you."

"Sure. But let's have dinner first." Evan grinned. "Hey, you know what just occurred to me?"

"What?" Taking a step back from Evan, I tucked myself back into my pants.

"Aunt Rosy's estate... does that include her business?"

I blinked, slowly processing the question and what it implied. "Oh my God..."

"You'd better get very familiar with these panties."

“Jesus… I don’t even know if this is better or worse than selling toilet paper."

"Imagine the possibilities, though. I bet no one’s come up with pumpkin-spice scented panties,
yet.”

“Stop it. I’m selling the business.”

"You can't do that," Evan protested cheerfully.

"Of course I can," I insisted with a smile. "I can do whatever I want, remember?"

"Okay, this round goes to you, but we'll revisit this conversation in the future."

I huffed a laugh and nodded, and then I kissed Evan again, because in a world where I could do
whatever I wanted?

Doing Evan was on the very top of that list.