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Asexuality, Gender and the
Law in Uganda
Isaac Christopher Lubogo

Asexuality, Gender and the Law in Uganda
© 2022 Isaac Christopher Lubogo.
The right of Isaac Christopher Lubogo to be identified as the author of this

book has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copy right and
Neighboring Rights Act, 2006.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or

transmitted in whole or in part in any form or by any means, electronic or
mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and
retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.
First Edition 2022

ISBN: 978-9913-633-26-0
First published in Uganda by:

Jescho Publishing House
A member of Jescho Group Ltd
Maria’s Galleria, Level 3 Room 17,
Luwum Street, Kampala (U), East Africa.
Tel: +256 393 256 545, +256 782 395 293
+256 702 055 211, +256 752 055 211
E-mail: jeschogroupltd@gmail.com
Website: www.jeschogroupltd.co.ug
View this author’s profile at:

www.lubogo.com or www.suigenerislawapp.com
Table of Contents
Dedication............................................................................................ xii
CHAPTER ONE .................................................................................... 1

Introduction to Asexuality .................................................................... 1
Distinction Between Asexuality and Sexuality. ...............................................5
Types of sexuality..............................................................................................7
CHAPTER TWO .................................................................................19

Why Does Sexuality Matter? ...............................................................19
Distinguishing Romance from Sex and Friendship. .................................... 23
Intersections: Comparing Identity Categories ............................................. 29
CHAPTER THREE .............................................................................30

History of Asexuality ...........................................................................30
In Pop Culture. .............................................................................................. 31
CHAPTER FOUR ...............................................................................37

Sexual Law ............................................................................................37
CHAPTER FIVE ..................................................................................42
Asexual Law ..........................................................................................42
Conclusion ..................................................................................................... 44
CHAPTER SIX ....................................................................................46

Asexuality In Uganda ...........................................................................46
iii
There is difference between asexuality and celibacy or abstinence...............49

South Africa ....................................................................................................50
The challenges faced by asexuals ....................................................................52
CHAPTER SEVEN .............................................................................. 54

Gender .................................................................................................. 54
Sex and Gender ...............................................................................................57
What Is the Significance of The Concept of Gender? ..................................58
Gender Stereotypes. ........................................................................................59
Gender Roles ..................................................................................................60
Gender Identity and Expression.....................................................................61
Common Concepts for Addressing Gender .................................................62
CHAPTER EIGHT .............................................................................. 76

The State of Gender Equality in Uganda............................................ 76
Gender and Agricultural Productivity in Uganda ........................................84
CHAPTER NINE ................................................................................ 96

Sexual and gender-based violence in Uganda. .................................... 96
CHAPTER TEN ................................................................................ 100
Gender Descrimination ..................................................................... 100
Natural sex differences: ............................................................................... 103
Psychology ................................................................................................... 104
Gender roles ................................................................................................. 105
Challenges to effective gender equality laws and policy implementation . 105
CHAPTER ELEVEN ......................................................................... 106

Patriarchy ........................................................................................... 106
iv
Reasons why the patriarchy still subsits in Uganda’s ................................. 108

Is Gender, women or men and women? ..................................................... 109
Recommendations for effective gender laws/policy implementation ...... 110
Disadvantages of patriarchy (Patriarchy visa vise Feminism) .................... 111
Feminism and Education............................................................................. 121
Feminism and politics .................................................................................. 124
Feminisim and Economy ............................................................................. 125
Feminisim And Gender Studies. ................................................................. 126
Feminism and Employment ........................................................................ 126
Feminism and Land ..................................................................................... 132
Feminism and Health .................................................................................. 135
Feminism and Citizenship ........................................................................... 136
Unity Dow v Attorney General .................................................................. 141
Feminism and family ................................................................................... 142
Challenges affecting feminism in Uganda .................................................. 145
Conclusion ................................................................................................... 150
CHAPTER TWELVE ....................................................................... 152

Gender on International Law Basis .................................................. 152
Gender in International relations ................................................................ 161
Sex or/and gender ........................................................................................ 162
Gendering babies: Is it a boy or a girl? ........................................................ 163
International Relations of gender ............................................................... 167
Gender and Construction of the Nation-State .......................................... 170
CHAPTER THIRTEEN................................................................... 172

Nationalist Theories of Creating Nations ....................................... 172
v
Blood and belonging.................................................................................... 172

Feminism and Nationalism ......................................................................... 173
The Feminization of International Migration ....................... 178
CHAPTER FOURTEEN .................................................................. 180

Gendering International Relations and Diplomatic Practice ......... 180
Gender Diplomacy and Global Politics ...................................................... 180
Gender in Diplomacy .................................................................................. 181
CHAPTER FIFTEEN ........................................................................ 189

Femininity .......................................................................................... 189
Feminism ...................................................................................................... 189
Development of the Feminisim Concept. .................................................. 190
Feminism First Wave Women Suffrage and Senecca Falls Convention.... 191
The Post Suffrage debates ........................................................................... 197
Second Wave feminisim .............................................................................. 198
Dissension .................................................................................................... 199
Classes and Race Feminisim ........................................................................ 202
Feminisim as a global concern ..................................................................... 203
Third Wave of Feminism ............................................................................ 205
CHAPTER SIXTEEN ....................................................................... 207

Gender and Criminal Law. ................................................................ 207
Penetration. .................................................................................................. 208
Rape As a Weapon for Destruction. ........................................................... 208
Law Reform Reccomendations. ................................................................. 209
Procedurally. ................................................................................................ 209
Prostitution. ................................................................................................. 210
vi
There are Four Legal Regimes That Govern Prostitution in The World. 210
Legal Regimes. ............................................................................................. 211
The Developments in The Concept of Abortion. ..................................... 213
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ................................................................ 217

Gender and Family Law. ................................................................... 217
Discrimination within the Family. .............................................................. 218
Legal Foundations of Ugandan Women’s Subordination in
Gender ....................................................................................................... 219
Religion ........................................................................................................ 220
CHAPTER EIGTHTEEN ................................................................ 223

Disability............................................................................................ 223
Rights of People with Disablity. ................................................................. 226
Organizations of Persons with Disabilities. ................................................ 233
CRPD Is Equality and Non-Discrimination ............................................. 239
Discrimination on the Basis of Disability? ................................................. 239
Equality ........................................................................................................ 242
The Categories of Persons with Disability Envisaged in The Persons with
Disability Act (2020) ................................................................................... 243
Standard of Living for Persons with Disabilities ........................................ 245
Social Norms and Expectations .................................................................. 249
Shocks and Coping Strategies ..................................................................... 253
Disability Across the Lifecycle .................................................................... 254
Persons with Disabilities and Their Rights. ............................................... 265
Inclusion of Persons with Disabilities in Law in Uganda. ......................... 266
Specific Laws for persons with disabilities.................................................. 269
The UN Convention on the rights of persons with disabilities ................ 270
vii
Challenges Faced by Children while accessing Justice and enjoying their

Human Rights ............................................................................................. 271
What is juvenile justice? ............................................................................... 272
Gaps in thejuvile law .................................................................................... 273
Apprehension procedures are not fully implemented ............................... 274
Statutory Implications of Law of Juvenile ................................................. 280
Sentencing .................................................................................................... 296
Separation from parents .............................................................................. 297
Bodies concerned in promoting rights of Juvenile in Uganda ................... 298
Sexual Harassment in Uganda..................................................................... 300
Theoretical frame work for sexual harassment. .......................................... 303
Dynamics of silencing and non-reporting .................................................. 306
Data collection tools and strategy ............................................................... 309
Unwanted sexual attention ......................................................................... 312
Gender harassment ...................................................................................... 313
Gender Harassment with Unwanted Sexual Advances and Reprisals ...... 313
Patients as targets of sexual harassment ...................................................... 314
Causes of employee harassment .................................................................. 314
Perceived Contributors to Sexual Harassment .......................................... 315
Beliefs about regional, ethnic and gender attributes .................................. 316
Reactions to sexual harassment ................................................................... 317
Perceived consequences ............................................................................... 317
Sexual predators ........................................................................................... 322
CHAPTER NINETEEN ................................................................... 326

Lgbt and the Law ............................................................................... 326
Criminal Provisions ..................................................................................... 330
Selected Examples on the Crack Down On Some Personalities ................ 331
viii
Uganda Legal Provison ................................................................................ 337

Homosexuality in Ancient Uganda ............................................................ 338
Constitutional provisions............................................................................ 343
Recognition of same-sex relationships ........................................................ 344
Recognition of transgender identity ........................................................... 344
Further 2021 criminalization laws .............................................................. 344
Living conditions ......................................................................................... 345
Violence and harassment ............................................................................. 347
Outings by newspapers ................................................................................ 347
LGBT rights activism .................................................................................. 348
Public opinion ............................................................................................. 350
The new bill explained ................................................................................. 355
Lawmaker finds homosexuality 'contrary to the order of nature .............. 356
Church response .......................................................................................... 358
Anti-LGBT legislation in Uganda and violent enforcement ..................... 367
Exacerbation of anti-LGBT violence and law enforcement during the
COVID-19 pandemic.................................................................................. 368
Violation of international human rights law and standards and the impact on
health ............................................................................................................ 369
A call to action for Uganda in light of Pride Month .................................. 370
Scientific Statement from the Ministry of Health on Homosexuality

............................................................................................................ 377
CHAPTER TWENTY ...................................................................... 386
Pornography ...................................................................................... 386
Affection exchange theory .......................................................................... 388
Psychological effects .................................................................................... 390
Withdrawal symptoms ................................................................................ 392
ix
Body image and self esteem ......................................................................... 393

Sexual function ............................................................................................ 397
Sexual satisfaction ........................................................................................ 398
Sexual preferences ........................................................................................ 399
Sexual violence ............................................................................................. 402
Epidemiological studies ............................................................................... 403
Effects on relationships ............................................................................... 405
Relationship satisfaction ............................................................................. 406
Communication .......................................................................................... 407
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE ............................................................. 409

Prostitution ........................................................................................ 409
HIV .............................................................................................................. 412
Sex trafficking .............................................................................................. 412
Should prostitution in Uganda be legalized ............................................... 413
Reasons Prostitution Should Be Legalized ................................................. 415
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO ............................................................ 418

Masturbation...................................................................................... 418
Cultural history ........................................................................................... 418
In modern culture ........................................................................................ 424
Sperm donation ........................................................................................... 424
Encouragement ............................................................................................ 425
Law ............................................................................................................... 426
Male .............................................................................................................. 429
Female .......................................................................................................... 431
Frequency, age, and sex................................................................................ 433
Health effects ............................................................................................... 434
x
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE ....................................................... 439

Polygamy ............................................................................................ 439
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR .......................................................... 441
Polygyny............................................................................................. 441
Types of polygyny........................................................................................ 442
Household organization .............................................................................. 443
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE ............................................................ 444

Polyandry ........................................................................................... 444
Types of Polyandry ...................................................................................... 444
Serial monogamy.......................................................................................... 445
Group marriage ............................................................................................ 446
Religious attitudes towards polygamy ........................................................ 446
BIBLIOGRAPHY .............................................................................. 460
xi
DEDICATION
Oh God, even my God my High Tower, my refuge, my Redemeer, my only

source of hope. This and many more is for you Oh God of the mighty
universe.
xii
CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION TO ASEXUALITY
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others or low or absent interest in
or desire for sexual activity.1 It may be considered a sexual orientation or the
lack thereof.2 It may be categorized more widely to include a broad spectrum
of a sexual sub-identities.3 A sexuality is distinct from abstention from sexual
activity and from celibacy4, which are behavioral and generally motivated by
factors such as an individual’s personal, social or religious beliefs. Sexual
orientation, unlike sexual behavior is believed to be enduring. 5Some asexual
people engage in sexual activity despite lacking sexual attraction or a desire for
1
Robert L.Crooks;Karla Baur (2016). Our sexuality. Cengage learning. P.300. ISBN 978-
1305887428. Retrieved January 4, 2017. Last assessed on 24th January 2022
2
Marshall Cavendish,ed.(2010). Asexuality. Sex and society. Vol.2. Marshall Cavendish.
Pp.82-83. ISBN 978-0-7614-7906-2. Retrieved July 27,2013. Last assessed on 24th January
2022
3
Scherrer,Kristin (2008). “coming to an Asexual identity:Negotiating Identity,Negotiating
Desire”. Sexualitities. 11 (5): 621-641. Doi:10.1177/1363460708094269 PMC 2893352.
PMID 20593009 last accessed on 24th January 2022.
4
Margaret Jordan Halter;Elizabeth M. Varcarolis (2013). Varcarolis foundations of
Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing Elsevier Health Sciences.p. 382. ISBN 978-1-4557-5358-
1. Retrieved May 7,2014. Last assessed on 24th January 2022.
5
Sexual orientation, homosexuality and bisexuality”. American Psychological Association.
Retrieved March 30,2013.
1
sex, due to a variety of reasons, such as a desire to physically pleasure

themselves or romantic partners or a desire to have children.6
Acceptance of asexuality as a sexual orientation and field of scientific research

is still relatively new, as a growing body of research from both sociological and
psychological perspectives has begun to develop. While some researchers
assert that asexuality is a sexual orientation, other researchers disagree.
Asexual individuals may represent about one percent of the population.
Various asexual communities have started to form since the impact of the
internet and social media in the mid-1990s. the most prolific and well-known
of these communities is the asexual visibility and education network, which
was founded in 2001 by David Jay. Asexuality is sometimes called ace (a
phonetic shortening of asexual7) while the community is sometimes called the
ace community by researchers or asexual8.
Because there is significant variation among people who identify as asexual,

asexuality can encompass broad definitions9. Researchers generally define
asexuality as the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of sexual interest but their
definitions vary, they may use the term to refer to individuals with low or
absent sexual desire or attractions, low or absent sexual behaviours,
exclusively romantic non sexual partnerships or a combination of both absent
6
Prause, Nicole;Cynthia A.Graham (August 2004). “Asexuality: Classification and
Characterization” (PDF). Archives of Sexual Behavior. 36 (3): 341–356.
doi:10.1007/s10508-006-9142-3. PMID 17345167. S2CID 12034925. Archived from the
original (PDF) on September 27, 2007. Retrieved August 31, 2007.
7
Decker, Julie S. (2015). The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality. Simon
and Schuster. ISBN 9781510700642. Retrieved April 20, 2019.
8
Shira Tarrant (2015). Gender, Sex, and Politics: In the Streets and Between the Sheets in the
21st Century. Routledge. pp. 254–256. ISBN 978-1317814764. Retrieved February 8, 2016.
9
Karli June Cerankowski; Megan Milks (2014). A sexuality: Feminist and Queer
Perspectives. Routledge. pp. 89–93. ISBN 978-1-134-69253-8. Retrieved July 3, 2014.
2
sexual desires and behaviours.10 Self-identification as a sexual may also be a

determining factor.11 The asexual visibility and education network denies an
asexual as someone who does not experience sexual attraction and stated,
another small minority will think of themselves as a sexual for a brief period
of time while exploring and questioning their own sexuality and that there is
no litmus test to determine if someone is asexual. Asexuality is like any other
identity at its core, it’s just a word that people use to help figure themselves
out. If at any point someone finds the word asexual useful to describe
themselves, we encourage them to use it for as long as it makes sense to do
so.12
Asexual people, though lacking sexual attraction to any gender, might engage
in purely romantic relationships while others might not13. There are asexual
–identified individuals who report that they feel sexual attraction but not the
inclination to act on it because they have no true desire or need to engage in
sexual or non-sexual activity (cuddling, hand-holding etc.), while other
asexual engage in cuddling or other non-sexual physical activity. Some asexual
participate in sexual activity out of curiosity. Some may masturbate as solitary
form of release, while others do not feel a need to do so.14
With regard to sexual activity in particular, the need or desire for

masturbation is commonly referred to as sex drive by asexual and they
disassociate it from sexual attraction and being sexual; asexual who
masturbate generally consider it or be normal product of the human body
and not a sign of latent sexuality and may not even find it pleasurable.15 Some
asexual men are unable to get an erection and sexual activity by attempting
10
Nancy L. Fischer; Steven Seidman (2016). Introducing the New Sexuality Studies.
Routledge. p. 183. ISBN 978-1317449188. Retrieved January 4, 2017.
11
Ibid
12
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network. 2008. Retrieved January 6, 2016.
13
Christina Richards; Meg Barker (2013). Sexuality and Gender for Mental Health
Professionals: A Practical Guide. SAGE. pp. 124–127. ISBN 978-1-4462-9313-3.
14
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality#Definition,_identity_and_relationships
15
3
penetration is impossible for them. Asexual also differ in their feelings toward
performing sex acts.: some are indifferent and may have sex for the benefit of
a romantic partner; others are more strongly averse to the idea, though they
do not typically dislike people for having sex. 16 Many people who identify as
asexual also identify with other labels.
These other identities include how they define their gender and their
romantic orientation. They will oftentimes integrate these characteristics into
a gender label that they identify with. Regarding romantic or emotional
aspects of sexual orientation or sexual identity for example asexual may
identify as heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, or by the following
terms to indicate that they associate with the romantic, rather than sexual,
aspects of sexual orientation.17
Aromantic; lack of romantic attraction towards anyone.

Biromantic; by analogy to bisexual
Heteroromantic; by analogy to heterosexual
Homoromantic; by analogy to homosexual
Panromantic; by analogy to pansexual18
People may also identify as a gray-A (such as a gray-romantic, demiromantic,

demisexual or semisexual) because they feel that they are between asexuality
and sexual attraction. While the term gray-A may cover anyone who
occasionally feels romantic or sexual attraction, demisexuals or semisexuals
experience sexual attraction only as a secondary component, feeling sexual
attraction once a reasonably stable or large emotional connection has been
created.19 Other unique words and phrases used in the asexual community to
16
17
18
Ibid
19
ibid
4
elaborate identities and relationships also exist. One term coined by

individuals in the asexual community is friend-focused, which refers to highly
valued, non-romantic relationships.
Other terms include squishes and zucchinis, which are non-romantic crushes
and queer-platonic relationships, respectively. Some asexuals use ace playing
card suits as identities of their romantic orientation, such as the ace of spades
for aromanticism and the ace of hearts for non-aromanticism. Terms such as
non-asexual and allosexual are used to refer to individuals on the opposite
side of the sexuality spectrum20
Since around 2000, asexuality conceptualized as a sexual orientation has

begun to emerge as an identity and a movement. hypoactive sexual desire
disorder (HSDD) which emerged in the late 1970s with the rise of sex
theraphy and is currently listed in the DSM, has gained increasing attention,
promotion and a backlash of criticism with the increased influence of the
pharmaceutical industry in sex research.
The relationship of these categories has often been noted but largely
unexplored, and when explored, authors have tended to focus only on how
much they do or do not overlap.21
Distinction Between Asexuality and Sexuality.

Sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves sexually.22 This
involves biological, erotic, physical, emotional, social or spiritual feelings and
20
ibid
21
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/19419899.2013.774165?scroll=top&ne
edAccess=true
22
Sex and society,volume 2 Marshall Cavendish.2010.p.384.ISBN 978-0-7614-7907-
9.Retrived 21 june 2017. “the term human sexuality broadly refers to how people experience
and express themselves as sexual beings.”
5
behaviours.23 A person’s sexuality or sexual orientation determines whom

they do, or do not, feel attraction toward. Sexual attraction typically describes
a person’s desire to have sex or form a sexual relationship with other people.
It also often describes physical attraction, or lack thereof, toward others.24
Romantic attraction can describe a person’s expression of love within a
relationship.
This relationship does not have to be sexual and a person does not have to
experience both romantic and sexual attraction in order to have a sexuality. 25
Because it is a broad term, which has varied with historical contexts over time,
it lacks a precise definition.
The biological and physical aspects of sexuality largely concern the human
reproductive functions including the human sexual response cycle.26
Someone’s sexual orientation is their pattern of sexual interest in the opposite
or same sex. Physical and emotional aspects of sexuality include bonds
between individuals that are expressed through profound feelings or physical
23
Greenberg,Jerrold S ;Bruess,Clint E; Oswalt,Sara B. (2016). Exploring the Dimensions of
Human Sexuality. Jones & Bartlett publishers. Pp.4-10. ISBN 978-1-284-08154-1. Retrieved
21 June 2017. “Human sexuality is a part of your total personality. It involves the
interrelationship of biological,psychological and sociocultural dimensions. It is the total of
our physical, emotional and spiritual responses, thoughts and feelings. Last accessed on 25 th
January 2021
24
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/types-of-sexuality#definition
25
26
Greenberg,Jerrold S ;Bruess,Clint E; Oswalt,Sara B. (2016). Exploring the Dimensions of
Human Sexuality. Jones & Bartlett publishers. Pp.4-10. ISBN 978-1-284-08154-1. Retrieved
21 June 2017. “Human sexuality is a part of your total personality. It involves the
interrelationship of biological,psychological and sociocultural dimensions. It is the total of
our physical, emotional and spiritual responses, thoughts and feelings. Last accessed on 25th
January 2021
6
manifestations of love, trust and care. Social aspects deal with the effects of
human society on one's sexuality, while spirituality concerns an individual's
spiritual connection with others. Sexuality also affects and is affected by
cultural, political, legal, philosophical, moral, ethical, and religious aspects of
life27
Types of sexuality
1. ALLOROMANTIC: A person who identifies as alloromantic experiences
romantic attraction to others.28
2.ALLOSEXUAL. This is an umbrella term. A person who identifies as
allosexual typically feels sexual attraction toward other people. They may also
want to have sex with a partner.
People who identify with this orientation may also identify with another
sexuality, such as being gay, lesbian, or bisexual.29
Androsexual
People who consider themselves androsexual feel attraction toward men,

males, or perceived masculinity irrespective of whether or not they were
assigned male at birth.30
Aromantic
A person who identifies as aromantic may not feel any romantic attraction
toward anyone. People who are aromantic may not want a relationship
beyond friendship. Those who identify with this orientation may also
identify with another orientation. A person’s romantic attraction can differ
27
Bolin,Anne;Whelehan,Patricia(2009).Human Sexuality:Biological,Psychological,and
Cultural Perspectives. Taylor & Francis. Pp.32-42. ISBN 978-0-7890-2671-2
28
29
30
7
from their sexual attraction. For example, a person may not be romantically
attracted to people but can be sexually attracted to some.31
Asexual
Asexual is an umbrella term that encompasses a broad spectrum of sexual

orientations. According to the LGBTQIA Resource Center, asexuality is a
spectrum. Some people may experience no sexual or romantic attraction to
anyone, while others may experience varying degrees of sexual or romantic
attraction to people. 32
Those who identify with this orientation do not have to abstain from sex to
be asexual. Some orientations that exist within the asexuality spectrum
include:
● Sex-averse: This is when a person is averse to or entirely disinterested

in sex and sexual behavior.
● Sex-favorable: This is when a person has positive feelings toward sex

in some situations.
● Sex-indifferent: This refers to those who feel neutral about sex and
sexual behavior.
● Sex-repulsed: This refers to those who are repulsed by sex and sexual
behavior.
31
32
8
● Cupiosexual: If someone identifies as cupiosexual, they do not

experience sexual attraction but still desire to engage in sexual
behavior or have a sexual relationship.
● Libidoist asexual: This term refers to those who are asexual and
experience sexual feelings that they can satisfy with masturbation or
self-stimulation.
● Gray sexual: Those who are gray sexual experience sexual attraction
either infrequently or not very intensely.
● Gray romantic: People who identify as gray romantic may

experience romantic attraction either rarely or not very strongly.33
Autoromantic
Those who are autoromantic experience a romantic attraction toward

themselves. This does not mean that they do not experience romantic
attraction toward others as well.34
Autosexual
Those who identify as autosexual experience a sexual attraction toward

themselves. Similarly, to those who are autoromantic, people who are
autosexual may also experience sexual attraction to other people.35
Bicurious
People who identify as bicurious are interested in having a sexual or romantic

experience with someone of the same gender. The term indicates that the
33
34
35
9
person experiences some uncertainty as to how they identify romantically or

sexually.36
Biromantic
People who identify as biromantic feel romantic, but not necessarily sexual,
attraction to more than one gender.37
Bisexual
A person who identifies as bisexual can be any gender.
Bisexuality means that a person feels attraction toward their own gender and
other genders or toward anyone regardless of their gender.
Some people may also use the terms bisexual and pansexual at different times
to describe their sexual orientation, the LGBTQIA Resource Center note.38
In some ways, though, a closer analogy than homosexuality is bisexuality.

Many of the common assumptions about a sexuals for instance, that they just
haven’t come out as gay yet, that they are in denial, or that they just haven’t
met the right person yet echo those made about bisexuals.
A prominent theme in scholarly writing about bisexuality has been its

erasure.39 Kenji Yoshino has argued that both gays and straights have an
interest in erasing bisexuality, because of their shared interests in “the stability
of sexual orientation categories,” “the primacy of sex as a diacritical axis,” and
“the preservation of monogamy.”
36
37
38
39
Kenji Yoshino’s The Epistemic Contract Erasure, STAN.L.REV
10
According to Yoshino, monosexuals (i.e., those who aren’t bisexual) believe

that bisexuals threaten or undermine these interests in some way and, thus,
the monos tacitly agree to pretend that bisexuality doesn’t exist. He supports
this argument by, inter alia, pointing to the vast disparity between the lesser
presence of bisexuality in the mainstream media (compared to
homosexuality) and the greater percentage of bisexuals in the population
(compared to homosexuals).40
Relatedly, we might compare the number of people who exhibit asexual

orientation with the percentage of people who identify as asexual. Think here
of Bogaert’s 1% of people who say “I have never felt sexually attracted to
anyone at all” compared with the small number of people who identify as
asexual, which hasn’t been studied but is suggested anecdotally by how few
people have heard of asexuality much less met someone who so identifies.
This is all the more striking in light of a comparison between the number of
people with asexual feelings and the number with gay and bisexual feelings.
In Bogaert’s study, the percentage of people who reported no attraction ever
was very similar to the percentage of those with same-sex attractions, whether
homosexual or bisexual.
There is another link between asexuality and bisexuality: Though the data
are far from definitive, early studies seem to suggest that a disproportionate
number of asexuals identify as bisexual—or biromantic in their romantic
attractions. “Bi-asexual” is the term that asexuals use for the combined
identities (rather than for people who are sometimes asexual and sometimes
not, who are instead labeled “gray-As”).
Some asexuals link bisexuality to asexuality, observing that it would make

sense if more asexuals were bisexuals “since sexual attraction is not a factor,
“or as one subject who so identified put it, “The things I find attractive, I find
attractive in both sexes.” One researcher observes, “For [some] participants,
an asexual identity that conveys a lack of sexual attraction opens the door to
40
Yoshino, Bisexual Erasure
11
not using gender as a screening mechanism for romantic partners.” In other

words, if you don’t care about having sex (as in sexuality), then who compels
you would depend less on the person’s sex (as in sex/gender).41
This perspective depends, however, on the assumption that bisexuality means

not caring about sex/gender, but this is only one strand or view of bisexuality.
Some bisexuals report very gendered desires—of whatever sorts—directed
toward both men and women.42
Demiromantic
People who identify as demiromantic usually do not feel romantic attraction

to people with whom they do not have a strong emotional bond.43
Demisexual
A person who identifies as demisexual typically only feels sexual attraction

toward a person with whom they have already established a strong emotional
bond.
Some people who are demisexual may have no interest or only a slight interest
in sexual activity.
Gay
A person who identifies as gay typically only feels sexual attraction toward
people of the same gender. Socially, people use this term to refer to men who
are romantically and sexually attracted to men. However, those in the
community use it as an umbrella term.
41
Janet Halley, Split Decisions (on the distinction between sex 1 and sex 2)
42
Emens, Intimate Discrimination (discussing these conflicting views).
43
12
Gynesexual or gynosexual
People who identify as gynesexual feel sexual attraction toward women,

females, and perceived femininity irrespective of whether or not they were
assigned female at birth.44
Heteromantic
Those who are heteromantic may experience romantic attraction, but not
necessarily sexual attraction, to those of a different gender.45
Heterosexuality
People who are heterosexual, or “straight,” typically feel sexual and romantic
attraction toward people who are of a gender different from their own.46
Homoromantic
Homoromantic refers to people who are romantically attracted to those of a

similar gender to their own. They may not be sexually attracted to people of
the same gender.47
Homosexuality
Homosexuality is a term describing those who are emotionally and physically

attracted to people of the same gender. However, the LGBTQIA Resource
Center state that this term is outdated and may have negative connotations
due to the past. Gay identity discourse provides key language and models for
asexuality, as it has done for other sexual identities. Aces speak of “coming
out” about their asexuality, and about the significance of finding other people
like them and forming communities. Psychologists explicitly draw on models
44
45
46
47
13
of identity development for homosexuality to examine the formation of

asexual identity.48Whether asexual identity is a “queer” identity is another
topic for debate within asexual circles.49 Moreover, as noted above, many of
the common responses to asexuality sound familiar: They sound like
comments made to gay people not too long ago (or still in some places). For
instance, recall these five items from Swankivy’s top-ten list, as comments
made to a woman:
11) “You hate men.”
9) “You can’t get a man.”
6) “You just never had me in your bed.
4) “You were sexually abused as a child.”
2) “You just haven’t met the right guy.”
As one reporter writing about asexuality put it, “[I] isn’t that how people
thought about homosexuality 100 years ago, that they could pinpoint the
reason as to why it existed?” Of course, one striking difference between the
responses to homosexuality and asexuality is the violence of the state’s
reaction.
Lesbian
Those who identify as lesbian are usually women who feel sexual and
romantic attraction to other women. Some nonbinary people, who do not
identify with the traditional binary sexes (male and female), may also identify
48
V. Cass, Homosexuality identity Formation: A Theoretical Model , 4 J Homosexuality 219
(1979)
49
AVEN FAQs, http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.htm#def1
14
as lesbians. This may be because they feel a closer connection to womanhood

and are mainly attracted to women.50
Monosexual
Monosexual is an umbrella term encompassing all sexual orientations that feel

a romantic or sexual attraction toward only one gender.
Some sexual orientations under this term include heterosexuality, gay, and
lesbian.51
Multisexual
Multisexual is a broad term that encompasses all sexual orientations in which

people are attracted to more than one gender.
Some sexual orientations under this term include bisexual and omnisexual.52
Pansexual and omnisexual
These sexual orientations refer to people who feel attraction toward people
of all genders and sexes.
A typical identifier for those who are pansexual is that gender is not a huge
factor in sexual or romantic attraction.While there is overlap between these
two terms and bisexuality and polysexuality, some people may prefer to use
one term over another.53
Panromantic
50
51
52
53
15
This is a term that refers to those who experience romantic attraction, but not
sexual attraction, to someone of any gender or sex.
Polysexual
People who identify as polysexual feel sexual or romantic attraction toward

more than one gender.54
Polyamory.
Asexuality might seem the opposite of polyamory, the term for multiparty
sexual loving relationships (distinct from traditional polygamy).55 Whereas
polyamorists typically want more sex with more people than is usual, asexuals
want less sex with fewer people than is usual. Interestingly, though, the two
sexual forms have more overlap than expected.
Aces and polys can come together around a shared interest in relationship
forms other than monogamous sexual pair bonds. The complicated
networks of relationships asexuals may embrace is vividly portrayed in the
film (A) sexual.56 Midway through the film, asexual activist David Jay makes
a presentation at a college about all the different relationship forms and
connections we might want to have, if we were asexual, using a diagram of his
life and many close connections to others, with different forms and degrees
of closeness.57 The diagram he draws is reminiscent of the graphical
illustrations polyamorists may draw of their relationship forms, some of
which have names, such as vee and triad.58The difference of course is that the
polyamorists’ relationships are typically organized around sex—which
54
55
Emens, Monogamy’s Laws: Martha Ertman
56
(A) SEXUAL (Dir. Angela Tucker, 2011)
57
Id.
58
Emens, Monogamy’s Law
16
relationships have it and which do not, and whether those relationships are
sexually exclusive—whereas the asexuals’ relationships are less likely to
privilege that component. The intersection between asexuals and
polyamorists reflects a broader synergy: according to David Jay, people who
identify as highly sex-positive, after overcoming their initial skepticism about
asexuality, often end up the strongest allies and supporters.
d) No Sexual Orientation. Asexuality bears some resemblance to a variety

of sexual orientations (and models59), but one could also view it as challenging
the whole idea of sexual orientation.60 We will consider this view at the end
of this Part.
Queer
People of all sexualities under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella may also identify as
queer. They may use the term “queer” to reclaim it, as historically many have
used the term as a slur. Unless a person is a member of the LGBTQIA+
community, it is generally not a good idea to use this term. 61
Skoliosexual
People who identify as skoliosexual typically only feel attraction toward

people who are nonbinary.62
Spectrasexual
59
Whether polygamory is a sexual orientation is a contested question
60
(A) SEXUAL (Dir. Angela Tucker, 2011) quoting one AVEN pride marcher, saying. “we
are almost like we don’t have asexuality . I always felt like I don’t have asexuality”
61
62
17
Spectrasexual is a term that describes those who are romantically and sexually
attracted to multiple sexes, genders, and gender identities but not all of
them.63
63
18
CHAPTER TWO
WHY DOES SEXUALITY MATTER?

A person’s sexuality determines whom they feel romantic or sexual attraction
toward. People may feel that labeling their sexuality helps them deal with any
oppression or difficulties they face. It may also help them find a community
in which they can share their experiences.
People may also find it helpful to know the terms describing other sexual
orientations. By knowing the terminology, people can better understand
another person’s sexuality.64
Defining Asexuality as an Identity: Elements and Distinctions
This Section defines asexuality by identifying its important elements as well

as the key distinctions that form its boundaries. Note that asexuals, in their
own terms, have defined everyone else as sexuals. In this way, the previously
unmarked (and therefore naturalized) category now has a name, little known
though it is thus far.
1) Principal Elements.
64
19
The precise contours of asexuality are not easy to establish. Those who
identify as asexual sometimes “aces” for short65 question the boundaries of
the category, and a common theme is the “diversity of experience within the
community.” But asexual identity is generally defined by two related ideas:
lack of sexual attraction and lack of choice.
a) Lack of Attraction. First, asexual identity turns on the lack of attraction:

“The definition of asexual is ‘someone who does not experience sexual
attraction,’” Attraction is often distinguished from arousal (or desire); as one
researcher put it, “If sexual desire or arousal were present, asexuals argued that
they were not ‘directed’ at anyone.” How little attraction is enough to qualify
for asexuality is unclear. Sometimes AVEN characterizes asexuality as if it
involves zero attraction, as in the definition just quoted; sometimes, very little
attraction suffices, as in this line from the same AVEN page: “This
community is [for] people who share the common factor of having very little
or absolutely no sexual attraction to other people.”
AVEN’s information pages are quick to assure readers that “there is no

hierarchy of asexuality.”66But the need to broadcast this claim betrays the
particular anxieties of authenticity that haunt this community. Replies to a
new-member question about whether most asexuals are “virgins” prompt
many relativistic assertions about diversity, but also a few replies attributing
false consciousness or excessive compromise to those who have sex. For
instance, one member replied, “A lot are. But not all. I think some people try
really hard to ‘fit in’ [in] this society, but are never really happy not being true
to themselves.’’ This member implies that having sex with someone else
would involve “not being true” to oneself—suggesting that, under one view,
65
Shawn Landis, Why Are Asexuals Aces? 101
66
Genera FAQ, AVEN, http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.htm1#def1
20
the true asexuals have no sexual urges involving other people, and so sex is a
pure compromise.
b) Lack of Choice. Second, self-identified asexuals understand asexuality to

involve no choice about this lack of attraction. “Unlike celibacy, which is a
choice,” AVEN reports, “asexuality is a sexual orientation.” The contrast
with celibacy is frequently drawn. The following comment, from a
participant in a 2008 study, is typical: “I don’t desire sex, so I am asexual.
I am not celibate, as this implies a desire for sex that is repressed.”67 An
important idea among asexuals is that they are not resisting their desires.
Unlike many people who choose celibacy whether for personal or emotional
or religious reasons asexuals have not decided to avoid sex despite sexual
attraction. They simply do not feel attracted to other people. Note that some
asexuals choose to have sex, despite not wanting it, typically because it is
important to a partner (as sexuals also choose to do sometimes). Thus, for
asexuals, it is a choice whether to do sex, but it is not a choice whether to want
sex.68 Choice is therefore a key axis in the discourse on asexuality. However,
the discourse of choice here operates somewhat differently than in the “not a
choice” discourse about homosexuality.69 In the context of homosexuality,
gays (sometimes) want to say that gayness isn’t a choice, because anti-gay
moralism thinks that the “choice” of gayness is immoral. Gays (sometimes)
say, in response, that their indulgence in (what some think is) immoral sexual
activity is natural for them and therefore unavoidable. By contrast, rather
than making immoral choices, asexuals appear to be aligned with the super-
moral celibates who choose not to have sex. Asexuals feel misunderstood by
this characterization, with many defending the rights of other people to have
whatever sex they like, and defending themselves against charges of repression
or prudishness. Like some homosexuals, asexuals typically assert that their
“sexual orientation” is an essential identity, not a choice. But unlike
67
Kristin S. Scherrer. Coming to an asexual identity;
68
Susan Appleton, formulated the distinction
69
Edward Stein, Born That way? Not a choice?
21
homosexuals, asexuals argue against an implied accusation of hyper-morality

rather than against immorality.
2) Key Distinctions.
Two key distinctions also help to shape the category of asexual identity: sex
with self-versus sex with others, and romantic versus aromantic.
a) Distinguishing Sex with Oneself from Sex with Other People.
Lack of sexual attraction is importantly distinguished from lack of sexual

activity. Some self-identified asexuals are sexually active, whether with
themselves or with others, and some are not.70 One recent study found that
the rates of masturbation among asexuals were comparable to the rates in the
non-asexual population. The study observed, however, that asexuals talked
about masturbation in ways that were highly clinical or mechanical, using
metaphors like cleaning out the plumbing. “Physical” urges are distinguished
from erotic attraction. For instance, these questions about masturbation
posted on AVEN “Do asexuals masturbate? Do they want to?” engender
replies like “Sure, many do. Most seem to do it for a physical need, or like I
do, to sleep”; or “I don’t. I have no sexual urges or sexual needs. Some asexual
people feel physical ‘urges’ and some don’t. I don’t.” On the one hand, one
might ask how robust this distinction between sexuals and asexuals is; in other
words, how erotic is the language that sexual people use to describe
masturbation? On the other hand, some descriptions of masturbation by
asexuals would be more surprising among sexuals: for instance, one AVEN
member writes, “Yes, I masturbate… but my mind is blank when I do so.
No hot guys or girls or anything in there.”
70
Kristin S Scherrer Coming to an Asexual identity
22
Distinguishing Romance from Sex and Friendship.

Asexuals divide themselves into the subtypes of romantic and aromantic.
Some asexuals feel romantic attractions, fall in love, and pursue romantic
relationships;71 some do not.72 (Some also have sexual relationships, but cast
in the language of compromise rather than desire, as noted earlier. The axis
of romantic versus aromantic is an important one among asexuals.
This axis of identity raises the question of what distinguishes romance from
sex, on the one hand, or friendship, on the other. As to what counts as sex,
one scholar thinks that asexuals have an unusually narrow idea of what counts
as sex. There is something to this. A broad definition of sex would
presumably include masturbation, which asexuals generally do not count as
sex, and many engage in, as discussed above. Moreover, many asexuals
explicitly embrace a traditional definition of sex as requiring penetration. In
theory, some asexuals might identify as asexual because they define sex
narrowly. But I think it is more likely that many asexuals define sex narrowly
because they understand themselves to be asexual. That is, because they are
not very interested in sex and its details, they choose the prevailing cultural
definition of “sex” which still seems to be vaginal or anal penetration.73Other
asexuals take a broader definition, however.
On the other side, what distinguishes romance from friendship? One asexual
answered this question with another question: “What is the difference
between a romantic sexual partner and a friend with benefits?” This
rhetorical question draws an analogy to the sexual world, offering only the
answer to both that,
71
Scherrer , Bogaert; Chasin; AVEN FAQS
72
Kristin Scherrrer, Coming to an Asexual identity: Negotiating identity, Negotiating desire,
11 SEXUALITIES 621,627 (2008)
7373
Thea Cacchioni, Heterosexuality and the Labour of Love; A contribution to the recent
debates on female sexual dysfunction.
23
They’re not the same. Romance and friendship just feel qualitatively
different, even without involving sexual attraction. The difference between
an asexual romance and a friendship is in the type of attraction experienced.
This can also translate to behaviour like wanting to give and receive hugs,
kisses, cuddles, etc. many asexuals enjoy physical, non-sexual closeness
whether they are romantic or aromantic. And no, sex is not necessary for
romance.74
As this passage suggests, this question appears no easier to answer in the

asexual world than in the sexual one. But the asexual context sets the question
more starkly into relief, inspiring innovative and interesting thinking. For
example, David Jay recently wrote a short essay arguing that we need a more
robust vocabulary for distinguishing types of nonsexual touch.
3) Identity in Relation.
“I was twenty-six when I learned I was very tall. For most of my life I had
been considered normal height. But at twenty-six, suddenly, strangers in
elevators began leaning toward me conspiratorially and asking, ‘How tall are
you anyway?’ as if we’d been having a conversation on the subject. . .. What
had happened was that I’d started being read by others ‘as a woman.’ . . . In
many ways I imagine what happened to me is not so much different from
what happens to many teenagers once their bodies hit puberty and are seized
by the cultural machine.” Riki Ann Wilchins, What Does It Cost to Tell the
Truth?75Asexuality is importantly shaped by its position on the outside of a
sexual society. This interplay has implications both for our understanding of
the identity and experience of asexuality, and for our understanding of the
contours of the broader culture. This Section analyzes that interaction, laying
74
No longer blogging, Asexualty 101, http://efgreyace.wordpress.com/ace 101/
75
Riki Ann Wilchins, What Does it Cost to Tell the Truth/, Read my Lips.
24
the groundwork to examine intersections and analogies with other identity

categories that have some overlap with asexuality.
For many self-identified asexuals, puberty was a critical developmental

moment. The particular importance of that period for aces is less about their
own physical changes, though, than about other people’s emotional and
behavioral changes. “I realized I was asexual about the same time I realized I
was short, when I was about 15,” said one female asexual, who is 5-foot-1; “I
realized I was short when everyone grew taller than me, and I realized I didn’t
have sexual feelings when everyone else started expressing and experimenting
with theirs.” Asexuality as an identity need not involve distress, as discussed
earlier, but some degree of friction seems to characterize asexuals’ interactions
with a sexual culture. As one person put it, in response to questions about
what it is like to live in a sexual world:
It gets frustrating trying to explain to some people that I just don’t have an
interest in sex. Some get downright nasty about it, and I constantly have to
deal with comments like, “You must have had bad experiences,” “You just
haven’t met the right person yet,” or “Your partner must be bad in bed.” One
guy was absolutely convinced I just hadn’t been with a guy with a large
enough...er... endowment. I finally just turned and walked away from that
one because my message was not sinking in and he wouldn’t leave me alone
about it.
Many asexuals lament the constant barrage of diagnoses they receive

whenever they disclose their asexuality. Indeed, listing the pathologizing
attributions made to a sexuals seems a mainstay of asexual community
formation. An asexual who goes by the name of Swankivy made a name for
herself with what she calls the “Asexuality Top Ten.” This list of the “top ten
25
most common misconceptions” about asexuals nicely captures the most

common interpellations, at least of a female asexual.76
10) “You hate men.”
9) “You can’t get a man.”
8) “You have a hormone problem.”
7) “You’re overly involved in your busy life.”
6) “You just never had me in your bed.”
5) “You are afraid of getting into a relationship.”
4) “You were sexually abused as a child.”
3) “You are a lesbian.”
2) “You just haven’t met the right guy.”
1) “You just got out of a bad relationship.” . . . Honorable mentions [include]

“You must be religious.”77
Each item links to a set of responses to the particular accusation. The list has
multiple purposes: Swankivy explicitly aims to educate “sexuals” who do not
understand asexuality, but also to “help others in similar situations
understand that asexuality isn’t an illness and they are not alone.”78 In this
way, the list serves a community and identity building function among
76
A parallel game of asexuality bingo was made by male asexual who goes by jmerry:
http:///swankivy.com/LJ/bingo.jpg.
77
Swankivy, Asexuality Top Ten,
http://swankivy.com/writing/essay/philosophy/asexual.htm1
78
See, e.g, Olly Bootle, No Sex Please: An Asexual Life, The INDEP, Mar.17, 2009
26
asexuals, through humor and indignation about a common set of interactions

with the surrounding sexual world.
The type of comments on Swankivy’s list plague many asexuals. For example,
in the recent documentary (A)sexual, David Jay confronts a series of
questions and challenges at the asexual community’s first time participating
in an LGBT Pride March. These responses include simple disbelief from one
person, “But you do eventually? . . . Not ever?” a guy who asks for Jay’s
number and whose friends remark, as Jay walks away, “He’s a Christian”; and
finally, one person who says with real feeling, “I pity you.’’79
Appearing as a talking head in the film, sex columnist Dan Savage describes
asexuals’ marching in the Pride parade as “hilarious”, he observes, “I know
from giving advice that there a lot of people who are deeply conflicted about
their sexuality . . . and it’d be easier to say I’m not sexual.” Disbelief is the usual
way to describe the response to asexuality, but the demand for explanation
may be a more apt characterization of the typical response.
Many people may be perfectly prepared to believe that asexuals exist;

openness to the diversity of human experience may eliminate surprise at any
new identity claim that emerges. But, implicitly or explicitly, they may
nonetheless want more of an explanation for asexuality than they would
expect for other identities.
4) The Problem of Diversity.
These kinds of comments are a source of great frustration to self-identified

asexuals, but they also raise a real issue. There are many reasons that someone
might identify as asexual. Some people surely do identify as asexual on the
way to some other identity, or because they are struggling with their sexuality
due to negative experiences or repressive influences. As one asexual put it in
an interview: “I think there are some people who identify themselves as
asexual who have a fear of sex, who may have had something traumatic in
79
(A) SEXUAL (Dir. Angela Tucker, 2011).
27
their past that’s put them off. I’m not denying that they may make up a
proportion of the asexual population, but I do think there [are] many who
are also physiologically different, wired not to be attracted to other people.”80
Acknowledging the many paths to asexuality, as this asexual does, is relatively

unusual. The conflicted types are a challenge for the asexual community,
since they seem to confirm the assumptions that the sexual world typically
has about asexuals. Note that it is hard even to call these assumptions
“stereotypes” since that term suggests a category that people use to organize
the world; asexual is not a widely recognized category yet, so many outsiders’
responses to an asexual are the reaction to a first encounter, rather than a
developed stereotype about the group.
Thus, AVEN explicitly embraces a diverse community, as noted earlier, and

the website tries to embrace most comers, but the site also tries to draw some
lines.81 Consider this question and answer on the site’s “Frequently Asked
Questions” page:
Qn: I find people attractive and I get horny, but I dislike sex and would never
do it. Am I asexual? ANS: If you’re turned on by other people then you don’t
fit the definition. Asexuality is about lack of attraction to other people, not
about lack of activity. Asexuals do not get horny toward other people; they
would feel completely satisfied if they never shared a single sexual experience
for the rest of their lives. . ..82
Ultimately, acknowledging diversity while drawing boundaries is a challenge

for asexuals, as it is for many identity groups. The fact that some people fit
80
Olly Bootle, No Sex Please: An Asexual Life, THE INDEP, Mar. 17, 2009
81
AVEN FAQ, http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.htm#def1
82
AVEN FAQ, http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.htm#def1
28
the common assumptions about asexuality does not, of course, invalidate the
identity of others. But the diversity covered by the label asexual presents
particular difficulties because, for many asexuals, explaining themselves in
response to widespread disbelief is a defining issue.
5) Responding to the Skepticism.
How might asexuals answer the disbelief? Do any responses cause skeptical
sexuals to open up to the idea of asexuality as a plausible human variation? A
few possibilities follow.
Quantity Contrasts. We tend to believe that some people are more sexual
than others even that some people might be hypersexual so why not less sexual
or not at all sexual? Perhaps people vary widely on the quantity axis in both
directions.
Intersections: Comparing Identity Categories

Asexuality has a set of intriguing intersections with other identity categories.
These relationships between identities open up questions about how to think
about asexuality and also how to think about these other categories. This
Section compares asexuality with the categories of sexuality, gender, and
disability.
29
CHAPTER THREE
HISTORY OF ASEXUALITY
Asexuality first originated as a concept in the late 1890s. In his Sappho Und
Socrates, German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld made a reference to people
without any sexual desire, referring to them as anesthesia sexual. The modern
understanding of asexuality was first consolidated in the 20 th century,
particularly with its inclusion in the 1940s sexual orientation rating scale
known as the Kinsey Scale.
While category X was created for those with no social-sexual contacts or

reactions’, psychologists in the 1970s further established the distinction
between a lack of sexual behavior and that of sexual attraction. The term
slowly gained prominence in the following decades and was used to expand
received ideas about sexuality, from appearing in a New York radical
feminists’ manifesto to featuring in a much-discussed personal essay by Zoe
O’Reilly, which provoked responses through the late 1990s and early 2000s.83
83
https://feeld.co/blog/feeld-guides/definition-
asexual#:~:text=Asexuality%20first%20originated%20as%as%20a,them%20as%20`anesthesia
%20sexual`
30
In 2001, David jay founded the Asexual visibility and education Network
(AVEN), which became the most prominent platform for asexual
communities. The following year, New York passed the sexual orientation
Non-Discrimination Act, which was the first and currently only, piece of
legislation that mentions asexuality.84
In Pop Culture.
One of the iconic mentions of asexuality was in David Bowies 1974
Rolling Stones interview with William S. Burroughs. other celebrities who are
believed to be or have been asexual include Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, H.P.
Lovecraft, Morrissey and Caitlyn Jenner. Asexuality was also explicitly
featured in the adult animated series Bojack Horseman, where one of the
main characters, Todd Chavez, comes out as asexual. Bojack Horseman
changed asexual representation forever by devoting a multi-season arc to
Todd and his path to self-discovery and acceptance, which has included him
attending an asexual meetup group and going on a date with another asexual,
Yolanda Buenaventura (Natalie Morales).85
Awareness days, events and symbols.
Asexual Awareness week was founded by Sara Beth Brooks in 2010 and takes
place 25-31 october. The asexual flag consists of four horizontal stripes in
black, grey, white and purple while wearing a black ring is considered another
popular symbol. This is the timeline of the asexual history worldwide. The
briefness of this time line can be attributed to the fact that acceptance of
asexuality as a sexual orientation and field of scientific research is still
84
%20sexual `
85
%20sexual`
31
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Flora, startled, looked at her father. For a moment it occurred to her
that perhaps he would be willing to spare her. Her heart leapt at the
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clear question of duty, one could put all that aside—but the call
would have to be unmistakable, the leading beyond all question. I
can see no such indications here.”
Flora, quietly bent over her needlework once more, was ashamed of
the realization that she was disappointed.
Inwardly, she offered instant expiation for the rebellious moment,
consciously addressing herself to the personal Divinity by whom, she
had always been taught, every hair of her head was numbered.
The reflection came, in immediate consolation, that she was not
without her spiritual glory, by this very act of resignation.
“They also serve who only stand and wait,” she thought.
The Canon had often quoted this to Flora, and indeed to any of his
children who showed a desire for alien activities.
Flora might be said to have stood and waited for some time now. It
occurred to her that if Lucilla went to Canada, responsibilities at
home, other than passive ones, would become her own portion. The
thought did not displease her. Flora, too, though far less consciously
than Valeria, had sometimes glimpsed the sterility of her days.
“Lucilla, you know where to seek counsel, I believe,” said Canon
Morchard gravely. “I make all due allowance for your natural, loving
impulse towards our poor Valeria—all due allowance. If your heart
bleeds for her, how much more does not mine? But there are times
when we must do violence to our natural feelings and I believe that
some such necessity is upon you now. Deny yourself, my daughter,
and He will bless the sacrifice both to you and to our dear one far
away.”
“But who will look after her when her baby is born?” said Lucilla
reflectively.
“Lucilla, where is your trust?”
“Mostly in myself, I think,” said Lucilla gently. “I really shouldn’t feel it
right not to go to Val, Father. I hope you will forgive me.” She spoke
so gently, with so simple a note of sincere regret in her quiet voice,
that the Canon, to Flora’s perceptions, appeared to overlook the
slightly blasphemous implication in the first words of her sentence.
“No man is more averse than myself from tampering with another’s
conscience,” he said, with gravity and displeasure. “You are no
longer a child, Lucilla, but have a care lest self-will should blind you. I
have long since warned you of the danger of self-complacency. I lay
no commands upon you, but I do most earnestly beg, my child, that
you will submit your own judgment to a higher Tribunal than any
earthly one, before coming to any decision. Commune with your own
heart, Lucilla, and be sure that self-seeking is not lurking under the
guise of loving-kindness.”
The Canon went out of the room and Flora and Lucilla were left
together.
It was evident that Lucilla saw no urgent necessity for complying with
her father’s advice and communing with her own heart. She sat
down at her writing-table, wrote for a few moments, and read over
what she had written. Then she handed the half-sheet of notepaper
to Flora.
It bore the announcement that a lady wishing shortly to travel to
Canada, would give her services on the journey in return for part
passage.
“But you mean to go, then?”
“Oh, yes.”
“I thought Father advised you to think it over?”
“I did think it over. Didn’t you hear me say just now that I should think
it wrong not to go to Val?”
“You are setting your own judgment up above Father’s,” Flora
pointed out coldly.
“I suppose so,” Lucilla assented, seeming rather surprised, as
though such an aspect of the case had not hitherto presented itself
to her.
Flora softened.
“I can’t help being glad you’re going to be with poor Val when she
wants you. And oh, Lucilla! You’ll see little Georgie!”
“I know. I wish you could, too.”
“So do I.” She suddenly caught her breath. “Not that I should do what
you’re doing, for a moment. I don’t see how you can, in direct
opposition to Father’s advice.”
“I’m sorry you see it like that,” said Lucilla gently. “Now, Flora, as I
may have to take my passage when I can get it, without much notice,
I’d like to arrange one or two things with you. Would you like me to
give Ethel a month’s notice? She’s a bad housemaid, but if you’d
rather she stayed on till——”
“Lucilla, you talk as though it were all settled!”
“My dear, it is all settled. I told you that my mind was made up.”
“You know that Father will miss you most terribly? And, though he
never speaks about it, he still grieves dreadfully over Adrian.”
“I know. That hasn’t really got anything to do with it, though, has it? If
you keep on Ethel, you will have to make certain that she——”
“I can’t talk about Ethel now, Lucilla. I’ll do the best I can, if you really
do go. Don’t think I’m unkind, please. I do understand that it must be
a great temptation, after poor Val’s letter saying how much she wants
you. I daresay if she’d written like that to me,” said Flora with an
effort, “that I might have felt it dreadfully difficult to refuse to go to
her.”
Lucilla paused on her way to the door, and looked at her sister with
friendly, reflective interest.
“But you would have refused?”
“Isn’t it always safest,” said Flora diffidently, and yet with the
implacable certainty of rightness, too, “isn’t it always safest, when
there’s a choice—or what looks like a choice—to do whatever one
likes least?”
“Lucilla!” called the Canon’s voice.
She opened the door.
“No, I shouldn’t call that a very good rule, myself. You’ll let me know
about Ethel as soon as you can, won’t you? Her month’s trial will be
up next Wednesday.”
“Lucilla!”
“I’m coming, Father.”
She went.
Flora let her work drop into her lap and folded her hands, allowing
her thoughts to wander.
Could it be right to feel that the wrong-doing of another might prove
to be one’s own opportunity, come at last? She felt herself to have
striven for so long with the endeavour to prove faithful in that which
was least, all the time stifling resentment that no greater, more heroic
task should be set her. She had always felt herself to be “little Flora”
to her father, a child, to be petted and sheltered, and in the minute
introspection of a nightly examination of conscience, she had
frequently to reproach herself bitterly for an ungrateful longing to
emerge sometimes from the shielded into the shielding. If Lucilla
went away, their father would be alone, deserted except for Flora.
David was in India. He wrote very seldom, and then never of coming
home. Even his letters to Flora herself, always his favourite sister,
were neither confidential nor frequent. Val was married, in Canada,
and was claiming Lucilla’s presence almost as a right. Adrian, in
London, was the subject of daily intercession at St. Gwenllian but it
was known to all his children that the Canon would not again receive
Adrian at home until he should have severed all connection with the
atheist, Hale.
How they had failed their father, all of them! Flora resolved
passionately that she herself would never fail him. Prayer was the
form of self-expression most natural to her, and she made ardent
inward supplication that if Lucilla were permitted to follow her own
way, good might come of it, and she herself prove worthy of her
sacred filial charge. No such exaltation of spirit could be indulged in
when Lucilla’s decision had been openly accepted, and her
preparations begun.
She preserved all her usual even cheerfulness, and her conversation
was rather more severely practical than before.
“Don’t let the key of the storeroom out of your own possession,
Flossie, please. I’m sure both the maids are trustworthy, but it’s no
use breaking rules.”
And:
“Remember not to order anything eggy when Mr. Clover comes to a
meal. He can’t eat eggs.”
“I mean to do my very best for everyone while you’re away. But of
course it won’t be the same for Father.”
“I expect it will, if you’re careful,” said Lucilla kindly. “Don’t let her put
flavourings into everything, though—he can’t bear them.”
She seemed not at all preoccupied with less material considerations.
Even at the last, she bade them good-bye without any of that aspect
of remorse which Flora privately considered that she ought to have
worn.
The Canon was very kind and forbearing, and said at the last
moment:
“I hope and believe that you children understand what is meant by
large-mindedness, and that I myself am the last man in the world to
deny to each individual the right of an independent judgment. You
are acting according to your lights, Lucilla, and I am willing—nay,
eager—to believe in the sincerity of your motives. God bless you, my
dearest one, and prosper your mission.”
Lucilla’s farewell was affectionate, but not at all emotional, Flora was
always undemonstrative by instinct, and it was only the Canon
whose eyes were moist, and whose voice shook.
Nevertheless, he turned to his remaining child after a moment and
spoke very firmly.
“You may wonder, little Flora, that I have no reproach for Lucilla. She
is leaving home against my advice, against my wishes. I believe that
she deceives herself. But Lucilla means well—she means well. As
we go through life, we learn to be very tolerant, very patient, to
understand better what is meant by forgiveness ‘unto seventy times
seven’.”
He smiled at her.
“You and I must have some pleasant tête-à-tête evenings, Flora,
now that we are left to bear one another company. I should like to
rub up some of my old Italian lore. Shall we undertake some such
task as Dante’s Paradiso for our leisure time?”
Flora assented, gratified.
Their days fell into a routine that suited her well, and although in her
daily and nightly prayers Flora mentioned the names of both Adrian
and Lucilla as candidates for Divine Mercy, she was not really
conscious of any very earnest personal wish for the return of either
to St. Gwenllian.
(ii)
“On the 18th November, suddenly, at Bombay, David, beloved elder
son of Canon Morchard of St. Gwenllian Vicarage....”
Owen Quentillian was away from Stear when he read the
announcement, with a strong sense of shock.
Why should David Morchard die?
He wrote to the Canon, and also, after a little hesitation, to Flora
Morchard.
As he half expected, Flora’s reply told him more than the Canon’s
numerous pages.
“My Dear Owen:
“Thank you for your letter. We knew that you would be
sorry, and would understand what this must be to my
father, and all of us. He is so brave and good, and
everyone is kindness itself. We do not know anything at all
except the bare fact, which was cabled from the
Regimental headquarters, and it will probably be another
three weeks before letters can reach us. If you like, I will
write again when they do. We shall want to see you very
much when you get back to Stear. Father speaks of you
so often, as though it would be a comfort to him to see you
again.
“Yours sincerely,
“Flora Morchard.”
The Canon’s minute legible handwriting covered several pages, and
he, like Flora, but at far greater length, emphasized the kindness
shown to him.
“My people here have shown feeling such as I dare hardly
dwell upon, lest I overset altogether such composure as I
may have won. Some of them, of course, remember our
dear, dear fellow well, young though he was when he left
us. But even those who never knew him speak such
words as well-nigh break one’s heart with gratitude and
pity and tenderness. I tell myself that whatever is, must be
best, and yet, Owen, the longing, that I can only trust may
not be repining, to have had but one day—one hour—
together, before this blow fell! It was so long since we had
spoken together! And sometimes I reproached him for his
long silences, for the absence of the details that one
longed for, in his letters home. How could I, ah, how could
I, I now ask myself sadly, who will receive no more letters
from him again. How one learns to be gentle, as the years
go on, but the day comes when each unloving word, each
selfish thought, comes back to break one’s heart! And yet,
Owen, who could have thought that I should be left, who
have seen nigh on three-score years, and that strong,
gallant lad taken in the very strength of his manhood.
Truly, God’s ways are not our ways.
“It does not bear writing of. We must have many long talks
together, when you are with us again. What a contrast to
that first visit of yours, Owen, when our numbers were yet
unbroken, save indeed that first, great gap that only Lucilla
and the dear lad who is gone, could realize. At least, their
mother has one with her!
“When you first came to us after the war, it was to give us
direct news of our beloved boy. I seem to remember some
merry gatherings then, with Lucilla and Flora ‘making
musik,’ and Valeria all fun and brightness—I can write of
her freely, dear Owen, can I not—the old wound is healed
now?—and Adrian still the veriest boy, the light and
sunshine of the house.
“You will find change and stillness and emptiness about
the old place, now. All are scattered, only Flora left in the
empty nest. I can find no words to tell you what she has
been, Owen. Friend, companion, daughter, comforter! Of
all my children, Flora and Lucilla are the two who have
never failed me, never failed their own higher selves. And
Lucilla, as you know, is away from us at present. Poor
child! What a punishment for her self-will in leaving us.
“Flora and poor Clover have spared me in every possible
way these days, and whilst I have them, I can indeed
never think myself wholly desolate. Letters will not reach
us yet awhile from India, and one longs, and yet dreads, to
receive them. There may be one from our poor lad himself
—yet why do I call him ‘poor,’ when he is so far more blest
than we who are left? We can only conjecture that cholera
or fever struck him down, he said nothing of sickness in
his last letter, and whatever it was must have come upon
him with fearful suddenness. One can only hope and pray
that the Infinite Mercy allowed him time to meet the dread
King of Terrors as one knows that he would have wished
to do, but all, all is in other hands than ours.
“I have said nothing of your letter, dear Owen, my heart is
too full. Let me answer it in person. Both Flora and I look
for your return with eagerness and hope to persuade you
to come to us at least for a day or two. You knew our loved
one, and it is not so long since you and he met. How I
envy you that meeting now! We have heard of it all in
detail, I know, but you will have patience, and go over it all
once more with us. The only thing that gives one courage
to face the present (saving always that far-reaching
Comfort which one knows to be there, but which poor
humanity cannot always feel) is a mournful, tender
lingering over the past. Nor must you fear that I always
weep, dear Owen—there is often absolute rest and joy in
dwelling on the past happiness that one knows to be only
a shadow and faint forecasting of the Joy that is to come.
“Bless you, dear fellow, and though I have said so little of
thanks for all the sympathy and understanding in your
dear letter, do not think of me as anything but profoundly
touched and grateful.
“Sorrowfully and ever affectionately yours,
“Fenwick Morchard.”
Quentillian folded the letter and put it away.
He mentally visualized the silent and grief-stricken house, and his
heart contracted strangely.
Valeria had gone, and would come back no more. Her heart was
given to her new life, to her new country. Lucilla was with her. Adrian
—the Adrian of the Canon’s tender love and pride—had never been.
David, who had not wanted to come home, who had left “long
intervals” between his scanty letters—David was dead.
There was only Flora left at St. Gwenllian.
He thought that he could see her, remote and austere, either devoid
of capability for human emotion, or regarding emotional display as
rebellion against Heaven. He had never known which. Flora would
move about the cold, silent house, and write the letters, and give the
orders, and remember the sane, everyday things that must be done.
She would be helped by the eager, anxious curate. Mr. Clover would
remember things, too, but he would not, like Flora, accomplish them
in silence. He would suggest, and remind, and humbly and timidly
deprecate his own efforts.
Quentillian could see the Canon, too.
The Canon would spare himself nothing, but he would break down,
with gusts of overwhelming sorrow and bitter remorse for his own
want of resignation. He would write, and write, and write, in the
lonely study, often blinded with tears, yet deriving his realest comfort
from the outward expression of his grief.
Quentillian could accept that, now, could realize it as the
interpretation of a sincerity at least as complete as his own.
Within the fortnight, he went to St. Gwenllian. It was all very much as
he had pictured it to himself. Only Flora was a little, a very little, less
remote than he had expected to find her.
He thought that she dreaded the arrival of the letters from India, and
feared their effect upon her father.
When the mail did arrive, the letters were brief, and said that David
Morchard had died in hospital of dysentery after three days’ illness.
The colonel of the regiment wrote in praise of a career interrupted
abruptly, and a parcel of effects was promised.
There was no more.
“Such letters have become so sadly common in the last few years,”
said the Canon wistfully. “How can one hope that in each individual
case the writer will realize the yearning with which one looks for one
personal touch—one word to show that all was well.”
“Perhaps they will write from the hospital—the chaplain or the
matron,—when they send the things,” Quentillian suggested.
He, too, was faintly disappointed and puzzled at the reticence of the
letters.
Flora’s face, set in its sad composure, told him nothing of her
feelings.
But the day following brought him enlightenment from Flora herself.
They were sent out for a walk together.
“Take her for a walk, dear Owen,” said the Canon solicitously. “Flora
is pale, and cold. She has shut herself up too much of late. Go, my
child, I shall do very well, and can find only too much to occupy me.
Enjoy the fresh air.”
Flora made no protestations of inability to enjoy herself, nor any
assumption of indispensability at home. It was the Canon, again,
who suggested an errand to a distant cottage, and she acquiesced
without comment.
It was a cold, grey day, with swiftly moving masses of cloud and a
chill in the wind. Flora and Owen walked quickly, and at first neither
spoke. Then Flora said:
“How much, exactly, were you a friend of David’s?”
His own surprise made Quentillian realize afresh how very seldom it
was that Flora initiated any topic of a personal nature.
“We were not intimate,” he replied.
“It was more the time that you spent with us here, when you were a
little boy, than anything else, that established a relationship between
you?”
“I suppose it was.”
“I think you are very much interested in people, and Lucilla says that
you are very observant,” said Flora, smiling a little. “Would you mind
telling me, quite dispassionately, if David was popular with other men
—the officers in his regiment, for instance?”
He did not understand at what her question aimed, but replied with
unhesitating candour.
“I should say he was very popular. He was a good sportsman, and
everyone liked him, although as far as I know he wasn’t a man of
intimate friendships. That type isn’t.”
“No. You see, Owen, there have been no letters from people who
were in India with him, although you say he was popular. Only just
those few lines from the Colonel. And I was afraid before—and I’m
afraid now—” She stopped.
“Of what?”
“That it wasn’t dysentery, or anything like that. That they’re keeping
the truth from us out of pity, or to save some scandal. I—I can’t get it
out of my mind, Owen.”
He heard her with something that was not altogether surprise.
Subconsciously, he felt that his own uneasiness had been only
dormant.
“Have you anything beyond intuition, to go upon?”
“No.”
“Why have you told me?”
He felt certain that she had not spoken merely in order to be
reassured, nor in order to find relief. Speaking was no relief to Flora,
so far as Owen could see.
“I want you to try and find out definitely.”
“Yes. And supposing I do, supposing that what you fear is true—” he
hesitated.
“That David took his own life?” said Flora, shuddering. “Then, don’t
you see, Owen, I shall have to tell Father—or else to make it
absolutely certain that no one will ever tell him.”
“You can’t,” said Owen gently.
“But I must,” she told him, with the same intensity. “He’s had a great
deal to bear already, and this would be worse than anything. Suicide
is a mortal sin. Bodily separation, one can resign oneself to—he is
resigning himself, poor Father, to separation from nearly all those
whom he loves,—but suicide would mean eternal separation. It
would be worse than anything—the loss of David’s soul.”
“I see.”
Quentillian did indeed see.
“Val, and Adrian, and David—they’ve all gone away from him,” said
Flora. “Only he knows there is another life, so much more real and
enduring than this one, to which he looks. It means everything to
him. If David did do—that—then the hope of meeting him again, in
eternity, is gone.”
Quentillian felt the force of her low-spoken, anguished statement.
“You are taking it for granted that a suspicion—which after all, rests
on very little indeed—is true.”
“You see, if I am to safeguard my father from this thing, I can’t very
well afford to wait and do nothing, just because there’s quite a big
chance that it isn’t true at all. The chance that it is true, may be
infinitesimal—the hundredth chance, if you like—but it’s that which
I’ve got to think about, not the other. Optimism doesn’t carry one far
enough, in preparing a line of defence.”
“I agree with you.”
“I don’t think that either you or I are optimists, Owen,” said Flora,
faintly smiling.
“No.”
“That’s why I want you to help me. Can you make enquiries at any of
the headquarter places in London where they might know
something?”
“I can try.”
“Thank you very much,” said Flora, as though his unenthusiastic
assent had closed the subject.
They went along the muddy road in silence.
It was from no sense that it was necessary to break it, that
Quentillian spoke again at last.
“Will Lucilla come back to England at once?”
“I don’t think so. She promised to stay till the spring. You know Val
has another little boy? I wish we could see them, but Father will
never really be happy about Val, I’m afraid. He forgave her, long ago,
but he doesn’t forget things, ever, I don’t think.”
“I don’t consider that the Canon had anything to forgive,” said
Quentillian in tones of finality.
“But he does.”
If Quentillian had expected a certain meed of recognition for the
magnanimity of his point of view, he was not destined to be gratified.
Flora spoke rather as one giving utterance to an obvious platitude.
“Is Val happy?”
“Very. She has exactly what she always really wanted. Sometimes
they have a servant, but most of the time she does everything
herself, and has occasional help. She is so happy with the two little
boys, too, all her letters are about them, and about the house, and all
they’re doing to improve it. She’s got the life that she was really
meant for, and after all, isn’t that what makes happiness?”
“I suppose it is. She was meant for the primitive things, you think?”
“Lucilla always said so. There is the cottage, Owen. Will you wait
outside, or come in?”
“I should like to come in with you.”
Life was inartistic, Quentillian reflected whimsically, while Flora
delivered her father’s message to a middle-aged woman in an apron.
To accord with all literary conventions, there should have been a sick
child in the cottage, and Flora’s tender soothing of its fretfulness
should have proved a revelation of the unfulfilled maternal instinct
within her.
But there was no sick child to provide a clou for Quentillian’s
observations in psychology, and he was by no means assured of
Flora’s powers of soothing. Rather would she urge the silence of
resignation.
He was convinced that never in her life had Flora Morchard been the
centre of a pretty picture. That her personality seldom dominated any
scene was not, he felt, from any conscious effacement, but from an
innate and instinctive withdrawal of her forces to some unseen
objective, to her infinitely worth while. He reflected with dismay on
his own undertaking to make enquiries concerning the death of
David Morchard. But he did not think that Flora, whatever the result
of the enquiries, would be dismayed. Dismay implied mental
disarray, a quality of taken-abackness. Flora, as she would herself
have told him, was strong in a strength not her own.
They walked back together almost in silence.
“Your little expedition did Flora good,” the Canon told Quentillian that
evening. “I am grateful to you, dear fellow, very grateful. Let us see
something of you still, from Stear. It means a great deal to us both.
There must not be ‘good-bye’ between us, save for the beautiful old
meaning of the word, ‘God by you.’ God by you always, dear Owen.”
Quentillian went to London, made no discoveries at all, and wrote to
Flora.
She replied, thanking him, in the briefest of notes. A week later he
received another letter from her.
“My Dear Owen:
“The Indian mail came in yesterday, and brought me a
letter from David, written a week before he died. He asked
me to break it to my father that a Major Carey, in his
regiment, was on his way home to take divorce
proceedings against his wife, citing David as co-
respondent. David asked me in the letter to do anything I
could for Mrs. Carey, as she is by herself, with no relations
in England. The case was to be undefended, and David
had decided to leave the Army and come to England as
soon as possible to marry Mrs. Carey. I gather that he was
very unhappy, especially at having to leave the regiment. I
still do not know whether he found a dreadful solution to
the whole question, in taking his own life.
“Mrs. Carey has written to Father, a strange note, which
he showed me. She says nothing of the divorce
proceedings, but only writes as a great friend of David’s,
imploring to be allowed to see us. Naturally, Father is only
too anxious to see her, and as she says that she is on her
way to Scotland at once, we are coming to London on the
10th so as to meet her.
“I have told Father nothing whatever of David’s letter to
me. I cannot imagine that Mrs. Carey will want to make the
facts known to him, but I shall be able to judge better
when I have seen her, which I have decided to do, by
myself, before the appointment with Father.
“I can arrange this a great deal better with your help than
without it, therefore will you come and see us on the
evening we arrive—Thursday the 10th, at about six
o’clock, Carrowby’s Hotel?
“Please destroy this letter.
“Yours sincerely,
“Flora Morchard.”
Quentillian, as he read Flora’s unvarnished statements, felt a
sensation as of being appalled.
He could not believe that Flora, fanatically single-minded as her
determination to shield her father from the knowledge of the truth
might be, had any conception of the difficulties that probably lay
before her, and he asked himself also whether she had in any
degree realized what the consequences must be to the Canon, far
more than to herself, of a deception that should break down half way.
His absolute conviction of Flora’s inflexibility, and his own strong
sense of the impertinence, in both the proper and the colloquial
sense of the word, of offering unasked advice, were not enough to
restrain him from the mental composition of several eloquent and
elaborate expositions of opinion. But they sufficed to restrain him
from transferring the eloquence to a sheet of notepaper.
He went to Carrowby’s Hotel, to keep the appointment summarily
made by Flora.
“You dear man!”
The Canon’s exclamation of pleasure rang through the dingy hotel
sitting-room in which Quentillian found them. He always showed the
same pleasure in seeing Owen, and Owen’s old sense of
inadequacy had insensibly given place to a rather remorseful
gratitude.
“Is this the doing of Flora? She told me that she should notify you of
our coming, but it is good to meet with a friend’s face so early. Our
stay is to be a very brief one. I have to return home for the Sunday. I
cannot leave all in Clover’s hands. Besides, I trust there will be no
need. You know the errand on which we are come?”
“I told him in my letter,” said Flora.
“This lady, this Mrs. Carey, had seen much of our dear fellow in India
and her letter is full of feeling—full of feeling. She heard nothing of
our tragedy until she landed in England. It seems that she had been
in ill-health for some time, she writes of complete prostration, and is
on her way to Scotland now. So you will understand our hasty
journey hither. Has it not indeed been with us, ‘Ask and ye shall
receive’? Flora, here, knows what my yearning has been for one
word with those who knew him, who had been with him recently. And
behold! it has been given unto me, ‘full measure, heaped up,
pressed down and running over’.”
The Canon leant back. He looked very tired and old.
“Do you see her tomorrow morning, sir?”
“We go to her, Owen. She is good enough to receive us on Saturday
morning, and I understand that she leaves that evening. Tomorrow I
have a conference in the afternoon, but the morning is our own.”
He gazed wistfully at Owen.
“I had thought of a memorial window to the beloved David, and this
is an opportunity which may not come again. I have the name of a
place to which I half thought of going, if it be not too trying for little
Flora.”
“Let me accompany you,” said Quentillian.
It was evidently what the Canon wished.
“Will you, dear lad? I own that I should be glad of your arm, aye, and
your presence. Flora is overwrought and overtired.”
She did indeed look very ill, not at all to Quentillian’s surprise.
“She has been taking too much thought for me, dear child,” said the
Canon, Quentillian could not help thinking with more truth than he
realized. “I wish Flora to take some rest. Let the expedition tomorrow
be yours and mine, Owen. Tell me, my daughter, what time am I
free?”
“Tomorrow morning, till twelve o’clock. Your conference is at two.”
“Flora is my deputy secretary,” said the Canon smiling. “I trust it all to
her, and her memory is unfailing. She is indeed my right hand.”
“Will you come at ten o’clock tomorrow, Owen, and start from here?”
said Flora abruptly.
He assented, determined to obtain an opportunity of speaking to her
alone. If he was to assist Flora in a scheme of concealment against
which he inwardly revolted strongly, he must at least know of what
that scheme consisted. His indignation waxed in proportion to his
anxiety, until Flora said to him with deliberation:
“Ought we to keep you any longer, Owen? I’ll ring for the lift.” The
suggestion took them both out of the room, and she closed the door
after her.
“What is it you’re doing?” said Quentillian, his urgency too great for a
choice of words.
She leant against the passage wall, white and rather breathless, but
spoke low and very distinctly, as though to impress her facts upon
him.
“Listen—I want you to be quite clear about it. The appointment with
Mrs. Carey is for tomorrow—Friday morning. I’m going to her house.
I’m certain from her letter, that she’s not a woman to be trusted. I
don’t know why she wants to see us, but I think it’s to tell us things—
things about David. I shall know when I’ve seen her.”
“But your father thinks the appointment is for Saturday?”
“I told him it was. I wrote the letter to arrange it.”
“And how are you to prevent his going there on Saturday?”
“She leaves for Scotland on Friday night.”
“You know that for certain?”
“Of course I do, Owen. One doesn’t leave these things to chance.
But I shall telephone on Saturday and find out if she’s really left.”
“I still don’t understand altogether. How can you explain to the Canon
that this lady isn’t there, when he goes by appointment to see her?”
“I shall have made a mistake. I’m keeping his engagements written
down for him. And I shall have written down this engagement for
Saturday, instead of for Friday. He will go exactly one day too late.”
“Flora, you can’t do it.”
She lifted tired eyes to his face, overwrought to the point of
fanaticism.
“Don’t waste time. Only tell me if I can count on you. All I want you to
do is to keep Father out, with you, tomorrow morning. I shall be at
Mrs. Carey’s at half-past ten and I promise to be back here before
one o’clock.”
“Suppose this lady is not what you think her, and you find that she
will be—discreet—is your father to be disappointed of his hopes of
seeing her?”
“I may be able to arrange something. Perhaps she’d put off going to
Scotland, and see him on Saturday after all. It would be all right then,
wouldn’t it? Or I might even be able to tell her the whole thing,” said
Flora wistfully. “It isn’t very likely, though.”
He did not think that it was.
“You see, you didn’t see her original letter, and I did. It was the letter
of a very hysterical person. She might say almost anything, I imagine
and—well, there’s a good deal that mustn’t be said, isn’t there?”
It was incontrovertible, but Quentillian said roughly:
“I detest maneuvering, it’s utterly unworthy of you. All this juggling
with dates and letters——”
“It’s no use doing things by halves,” said Flora stubbornly. “Yes or no,
Owen, are you going to back me up if necessary?”
“If I say no, will it deter you from going through with this insane
performance?”
“Of course it won’t.” She actually smiled. “What would be the sense
of making up one’s mind if it’s to be unmade again just because
one’s friends don’t agree with one?”
“Very well.” He shrugged his shoulders as one in desperation.
She evidently accepted it as the assent, however ungracious, that he
meant it to be.
“Thank you very much,” said Flora with brief finality.
(iii)
Flora followed Mrs. Carey’s maid upstairs, feeling as though the
beating of her heart were causing each breath she drew to crowd
thickly upon the next one.
Mrs. Carey’s house—she supposed it was Mrs. Carey’s house—was
a very tiny one indeed, and looked tinier by reason of the number of
pictures, draperies, and flowers that covered every available corner
of the steep staircase and the small landing.
The drawing-room was small, too, and so dark that the maid turned
on the rose-shaded electric lights as she ushered Flora into the
empty room.

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CHAPTER ONE .................................................................................... 1

CHAPTER TWO .................................................................................19

CHAPTER THREE .............................................................................30

CHAPTER FOUR ...............................................................................37

CHAPTER SIX ....................................................................................46

There is difference between asexuality and celibacy or abstinence...............49

CHAPTER SEVEN .............................................................................. 54

CHAPTER EIGHT .............................................................................. 76

CHAPTER NINE ................................................................................ 96

CHAPTER ELEVEN ......................................................................... 106

Reasons why the patriarchy still subsits in Uganda’s ................................. 108

CHAPTER TWELVE ....................................................................... 152

CHAPTER THIRTEEN................................................................... 172

Blood and belonging.................................................................................... 172

CHAPTER FOURTEEN .................................................................. 180

CHAPTER FIFTEEN ........................................................................ 189

CHAPTER SIXTEEN ....................................................................... 207

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ................................................................ 217

CHAPTER EIGTHTEEN ................................................................ 223

Challenges Faced by Children while accessing Justice and enjoying their

CHAPTER NINETEEN ................................................................... 326

Uganda Legal Provison ................................................................................ 337

Scientific Statement from the Ministry of Health on Homosexuality

Body image and self esteem ......................................................................... 393

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE ............................................................. 409

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO ............................................................ 418

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE ....................................................... 439

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE ............................................................ 444

BIBLIOGRAPHY .............................................................................. 460

Oh God, even my God my High Tower, my refuge, my Redemeer, my only

sex, due to a variety of reasons, such as a desire to physically pleasure

Acceptance of asexuality as a sexual orientation and field of scientific research

Because there is significant variation among people who identify as asexual,

sexual desires and behaviours.10 Self-identification as a sexual may also be a

With regard to sexual activity in particular, the need or desire for

Aromantic; lack of romantic attraction towards anyone.

People may also identify as a gray-A (such as a gray-romantic, demiromantic,

elaborate identities and relationships also exist. One term coined by

Since around 2000, asexuality conceptualized as a sexual orientation has

Distinction Between Asexuality and Sexuality.

behaviours.23 A person’s sexuality or sexual orientation determines whom

People who consider themselves androsexual feel attraction toward men,

Asexual is an umbrella term that encompasses a broad spectrum of sexual

● Sex-averse: This is when a person is averse to or entirely disinterested

● Sex-favorable: This is when a person has positive feelings toward sex

● Cupiosexual: If someone identifies as cupiosexual, they do not