Professional Psychology: Research and Practice Copyright 1987 by the American Psychological Association, Inc.

1987, Vol. 18, No. 6, 555-561 0735-7028/87/$00.75

Female and Male Emotional Dependency and Its Implications

for the Therapist-Client Relationship
Lucia Albino Gilbert
Department of Educational Psychology
University of Texas at Austin

Women and men both struggle to achieve a healthy integration of passive dependent and active
autonomous strivings. However, how dependent strivings are labeled and become manifest differ
for women and men. I first describe the different conceptions of male and female dependency
and how such conceptions are related to sex role socialization and to societal norms and practices.
I then relate these concepts to the problem of eroticism in psychotherapeutic settings and make
specific recommendations for the education and training of psychologists.

Gender effects are powerful and pervasive. Knowing Female Dependency

whether a person is male or female not only is essential to
comfortable interpersonal interactions but also often makes a
significant difference in how we relate to that person, both
within and outside of the therapeutic setting. Certain normal
developmental stages and issues are especially susceptible to
gender effects; the attainment of ego identity in adolescence
and the capacity for intimacy in young adulthood described
by Erikson (1968) are clear examples. This article concerns
one such developmental issue that pervades all developmental
stages: emotional dependency. Dependency is experienced by
all humans, regardless of gender, and is a healthy, adaptive,
and positive aspect of human development.
The struggle to achieve a healthy integration of passive
dependent longings and active autonomous strivings is clearly
a lifelong developmental task for both women and men. How
this dependency is labeled and becomes manifest, however,
differs considerably for women and men. To understand these
differences requires an awareness of the different conceptions
of male and female dependency and how such conceptions
are related to sex role socialization and current societal prac-
tices and norms. I first describe dependency in women, vis-h-
vis men's roles and societal views of women, and then analyze
how views of female dependency are inextricably related to
the apparent absence of dependency in men. These concepts
are then related to therapist-client dynamics and to issues
that emerge in the therapeutic setting. Specific attention is
given to the problem of eroticism in the psychotherapeutic
situation and how it may relate to issues of female and male
dependency.
LUCIAALBINOGILBERTis professor of educational psychology at the
University of Texas at Austin and teaches in the university's APA-
approved Counseling Psychology Program. Her present research in-
terests are in the areas of dual-career families and gender issues and
mental health.
THE AUTHORTHANKSConnie Deutsch, June Gallessich, and Murray
Scher for valuable suggestions on an earlier draft of this article, which
was part of a presentation at the annual meeting of the American
Psychological Association, August 1985.
CORRESPONDENCE CONCERNING THIS ARTICLE s h o u l d b e a d d r e s s e d t o
Lucia Albino Gilbert, Department of Educational Psychology, EDB-
504, University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas 78712-1296.
The female way of being social involves bonds, affiliation,
attachment, and commitment. Because girls are expected to
eventually assume the woman's expressive role, the emphasis
on instrumental behaviors and attitudes in their child rearing
is less than that for boys (Block, 1984; Hoffman, 1977).
Instead, women are socialized to attract men as life partners
and to direct their achievement through their affiliations with
others. Being competent and personally ambitious is not
consistent with traditional views of what makes women desir-
able.
How do such societal views and socialization practices affect
women's abilities to accomplish the normal integration of
passive dependent and active autonomous strivings? Two
aspects of female dependency must be recognized. First is
their oversocialization to "assume" dependent stances vis-a-
vis men and the usefulness of this underfunctioning in rela-
tionships with men. Second, as many writers (e.g., Block,
1984; Chodorow, 1978; Gilligan, 1982) have recently de-
scribed, women are socialized to depend on relationships as a
primary way to function and to view relationships, particu-
larly those with men, as the only way to meet their needs for
emotional dependency. Moreover, as mentioned earlier, from
a young age the message conveyed to girls more than to boys
is that success is attained through affiliative relations rather
than through independent achievement.
Such pervasive, deeply ingrained, societal views are related
to what Lerner (1983) called the protective aspects of female
dependency. According to Lerner, women traditionally have
been encouraged to cultivate an "underfunctioning" that pri-
marily serves to protect men; that is, women were expected
to, and often did, subordinate themselves to men both in
physical and intellectual contexts regardless of their actual
ability. By so doing, women also protect themselves by ensur-
ing themselves a safe place with men. The notion that women
must strengthen men by relinquishing or hiding their own
strength is not new. We see poignant examples in fairy tales,
movies, and real life. A vivid illustration of female under-
functioning occurs in the short story Barcelona, by Alice
Adams (1984).
The story describes Persis Fox, a fairly successful illustrator,
beginning to be sought after by New York publishers, but

555
556 LUCIA ALBINO GILBERT
who sees herself as cowardly and fearful. Her husband Thad,
in contrast, is a self-assured, self-directed, confident man who
teaches at Harvard. The couple is on vacation in Barcelona
and on their way to a remote restaurant when a thief suddenly
snatches Persis's purse. Thad, who has been quite unattentive
to Persis, suddenly springs into action and runs after the thief
despite the darkness, danger, and unfamiliar terrain. The
purse is recovered on the cobbles, and the couple returns to
the restaurant.
Thad asks, "Aren't you going to check it? See what's still there?"
9 "'Oh good, my passport's still here," she tells Thad.
"That's great." He is genuinely pleased with himself---and why
should he not be, having behaved with such courage? Then he
frowns, "He got all your money?"
"Well, no, actually there wasn't any money. I keep it in my
pocket. Always when I go to New York, that's what I do."
Why does Thad look so confused just then? A confusion of
emotions is spread across his fair, lined face. He is disappointed,
somehow? Upset that he ran after a thief who had stolen a bag
containing so little? Upset that Persis, who now goes down to
New York on publishing business by herself, has tricks for self-
preservation?
"And your passport?" Stern, judicious Thad.
"Oh yes, of course," Persis babbles. "That would have been
terrible. We could have spent days in offices."
Gratified, sipping at his wine, Thad says, "I wonder why he
didn't take it, actually." Persis does not say, Because it's hidden
inside my address book--although quite possibly that was the
case. Instead, she says what is also surely true: "Because you
scared him. The last thing he expected was someone running
after him, and that whistle."
Thad smiles and his face settles into a familiar expression: that
of a generally secure, intelligent man, a lucky person, for whom
things happen more or less as he would expect them to. (p. 43)
Thus Persis protects Thad from the knowledge that his
motivations for protecting her against worldly dangers are
unfounded and that, in essence, she knows how to take care
of herself. She also realizes that Thad's reasons for protecting
her are more related to his needs than her needs: In the short
story, Persis thinks, "He is not doing this for her (the chase);
it is something between men." They both collude to maintain
a system that shelters the male ego from the threat of female
competence and that continues an illusion of female depend-
ency. Thad does not want to see Persis's recently developed
independence and competence in dealing with the external
world, and she makes little effort to show it to him. Such
collusion also serves to maintain the status quo and to per-
petuate traditional views about gender.
The second aspect of female dependency that must be
understood is that women's emotional needs are often not
met in their relationships with men, although they are social-
ized to believe that they will be. In contrast to the female role,
the male role has fostered an alienation from emotions and
expressivity, which is not conducive to intimacy, communion,
and attachment. Thus if women depend on men to meet their
needs for affiliation and intimacy, which they often do, their
needs are likely to go unmet. This situation is made more
intense and stressful by societal norms that lead women to
believe that the preferred and most desirable way to meet
their normal interdependency needs is through relationships
with the other sex (for different reasons, the same is true for
men, as we will see later).
In earlier times, female friendships often sustained women
emotionally. Although women sought to meet both emotional
and economic dependency needs in their relationships with
men, the latter often was more essential to female survival
and well-being than the former. For example, in the recent
biography of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Griffith (1984) poign-
antly described women's acceptance of men's inability in
19th-century America to meet women's normal dependency
needs and how other women typically met these needs: "As
Henry [her husband] flourished, Elizabeth floundered" (p.
49). Raised among sisters who had been close companions,
and then separated from them as a rural housewife and
mother, Stanton felt lonely, depressed, exhausted, and angry9
She too eventually flourished--by creating a sisterhood of
friends, which included Susan B. Anthony. "'I long to see you
Susan. If I had you with me about once a week to rouse my
self esteem it would be most beneficial.' The feeling was
mutual. When Anthony was depressed . . . she appealed to
Stanton" (p. 74). Such sentiments were not u n c o m m o n
among 19th-century women (Janeway, 1985).
As Bernard (1976) pointed out, the attachment and bonding
with other women that had been a valued and accepted part
of the social order in previous centuries became less available
for 20th-century women 9 The focus on the nuclear family and
the shift from a rural to an urban economy, among other
factors, tended to isolate women from each other. The impact
of this "relational deficit," which inhibits women's ability to
fulfill their normal dependency needs, is further intensified
by limitations on female independence strivings in our society
and by the fear that many women have, perhaps realistically,
of being less desired as women if they are capable of earning
their own way and thinking their own thoughts. They, unlike
men, are typically socialized to believe that having a lifelong
career and a family is difficult and having career aspirations
jeopardizes the likelihood of having a family9
Thus the structure of marriage and society encourages
unrealistic dependency needs in women while at the same
time discouraging adaptive independency needs. Women, for
example, often tolerate emotional and physical abuse or dis-
satisfying relationships with spouses or therapists because their
internalized belief that they are dependent on men inhibits
them from taking care of themselves or meeting their needs
in other ways.
Male D e p e n d e n c y
What about men and their dependency needs? To discuss
dependency in men, we need to focus on a different concept:
power9 Because of society's traditional view that women be
weak and men strong, the experiences and emotional needs
of women have come to fall under the rubric of dependency
and those of men under the rubric of power. For example,
Pleck (1981) described three "psychological sources of men's
needs for power over women." (p. 235). Each relates to
dependency but is stated as a power that men attribute to
women, which in turn causes men to oppress women.
 SPECIAL SECTION: DEPENDENCY
The first power that men perceive women to have over
them is what Pleck ( 1981 ) calls masculine-validating power;
that is, through sexual relations with women, a man is looking
for validation of himself as a man. For men in our society,
sexuality and gender are highly intercorrelated. Men are so-
cialized to believe in penis power, and unfortunately the
expression of this power requires a female partner or victim.
Women who are virgins are often admired; men who are
virgins are suspect. Homosexual men, whose sexual prefer-
ence is other men and not women, are viewed as wimps, fags,
or weaklings, partly because they do not desire power through
sexual intercourse with women.
Among the 10 myths of masculinity discussed by Zilbergeld
(1978), several illustrate the close association between sexual
power (functioning) and a man's sense of self: A man always
wants and is always ready to have sex (Myth 4); all physical
contact must lead to sex (Myth 5); in sex, as elsewhere, it is
performance that counts (Myth 2); and the man must take
charge of and orchestrate sex (Myth 3).
There are many examples of this need for power over
women, a power that, in effect, illuminates men's dependency.
To some degree it is present in violence against women, in
rape and battering in particular. Men who are abusive of
women often experience intense feelings of social and personal
(masculine) inadequacy and feel especially dependent on
women to make them feel better about themselves. Their
extreme sense of dependency is often reflected in strong
feelings of jealousy and possessiveness of their sexual partners
(Donzetti, Care, & Koval, 1983; Telch & Lindquist, 1984).
This same pattern is illustrated in noted literary works. In
Tennessee Williams's play A Streetcar Named Desire, Blanche
disapproves of her brother-in-law's crude behavior; he rapes
her in order to destroy her power over him. Similarly, in
Bizet's opera Carmen, Don Jose is devastated by Carmen's
rejection of him as a lover and, in a jealous rage, murders
her.
This aspect of male dependency is often shrouded in silence
because men rarely discuss their sexuality or sexual function-
ing with other men. Instead, sexuality is used as a vehicle by
which men gain status with other m e n - - a status or position
that would be endangered by honest self-disclosure.
A second power that men attribute to women involves what
Pleck (1981) called expressive power or the power to express
emotions. Women often express men's feelings for them or
have the power to draw out their feelings. It is all right for
men to be "soft" with women; they are safe havens for male
emotion. Women, however, are also blamed for male expres-
sivity, particularly if such expressivity is socially undesirable
or violent. Thus men view women as bringing out both their
positive and negative emotions and as causing them to do
things that are beyond their control.
This situation relates to the third way in which men are
dependent on women and are thus motivated to have power
over them. Women have a role or part in men's power vis-fi-
vis other men: They are symbols of success in men's compe-
tition with each other and are a refuge for men. They also
reduce the stress of competition between men by serving as
an underclass (Pleck, 1981). In a patriarchal society, women
557
represent the lowest status, a status to which men can fall
only under the most exceptional circumstances. Still, today,
one of the worst things to call a man is an adjective associated
with being female, particularly a female sexual organ.
The hidden nature of male dependency has been recognized
by other writers. Baumrind (1980), for example, sees boys as
being bribed by promises of power and domination and
prematurely relinquishing aspects of their dependency striv-
ings. Because boys are often separated prematurely from their
home environment and asked to behave as "little men" before
they comfortably can do so, they may depend more than they
realize on unconditional acceptance and nurturance from a
woman to sustain their pseudo-independent stance. Girls, on
the other hand, are bribed by promises of love and approval
and prematurely relinquish aspects of their independency
strivings. Thus, as Pogrebin (1983) pointed out, wives in
patriarchal families conventionally give the care that husbands
take: "Contrary to the popular belief that women have the
greater dependency needs, men's [noneconomic] dependency
needs are far more insatiable . . . . Sex specialization in caring
atrophies men's capacity to give comfort" (p. 197).
Men's and women's difficulties in developing and integrat-
ing both independent and dependent strivings are clearly
recognized in the contemporary women's and men's move-
ments. The men's movement has emphasized the importance
of men's recognizing their own dependency and positively
valuing it as an integral part of male development (Pleck,
1981). Moreover, men are being helped to learn how to
express and experience their emotions in intimate relation-
ships and to validate themselves and other men instead of
needing women to do this (McLeod & Pemberton, 1984).
Similarly, the women's consciousness-raising groups of the
1960s and 1970s assisted women in recognizing how they had
internalized societal views of female attributes and roles and,
as a result, had to some degree come to devalue other women,
in their quest for the "right" man (Kravetz, 1980). These
groups, and the women's movement in general, emphasize
the importance of women's nurturing and sustaining them-
selves and each other and of developing a sense of self separate
from their affiliative relationships with men (Miller, 1976).
Society changes slowly, however, and the well-established
patterns and myths remain in operation to a greater degree
than we often care to admit. The increasing incidence of
sexual intimacy between male therapists and female patients,
despite the clear unethical nature of such a relationship, is
one obvious reminder of how slow the change is.
Therapist-Client Relationships
The previous discussion of male and female dependency
raised a number of issues that pertain to the treatment of
clients and to the therapist-client relationship itself. In this
section, one flagrant and continuing problem--sexual and
erotic contact in the therapeutic relationship--is discussed
within the context of dependency and gender effects. Issues
that need to be addressed in education and training are then
identified.
558 LUCIA ALBINO GILBERT
Sexual Contact With Clients: A Problem Area I
Among therapists, approximately 1 in 10 men and 2 in 100
women have had self-reported erotic contact with clients,
nearly all of whom were female (Holroyd & Brodsky, 1977;
Pope, Keith-Spiegel, & Tabachnick, 1986). Reports from the
Ethics Committee of the American Psychological Association
(APA) indicate that violations of Principle 6A (i.e., sexual
intimacies with clients are unethical) received by the commit-
tee have increased each year since 1979, when sexual inti-
macies with clients were specifically defined as unethical in
the Ethical Standards of Psychologists (American Psycholog-
ical Association, 1979). Many times the psychologists in-
volved feel very remorseful and regretful (Hall & Hare-Mus-
tin, 1983; Hare-Mustin & Hail, 1981 ) and view such behavior
as harmful to the client and to the therapeutic relationship
(Bouhoutsos, Holroyd, Lerman, Forer, & Greenberg, 1983;
Holroyd & Brodsky, 1977). Clearly, there is no intent to harm
clients, although this is usually the consequence. Bouhoutsos
et al. (1983), for example, found that in 90% of the cases
reported by subsequent therapists, the client was assessed as
having been "harmed" by sexual intimacies with the therapist.
This harm ranged from an inability to trust and seek help
from other health service providers to severe depression and
suicide.
In the past such unethical behavior caused little concern. It
was consistent with traditional views of women and the
prerogatives of men, a manifestation of a broader male and
female role structure in which men were omniscient and
women naive. When professionals began to question such
behavior, they often studied the situation from the viewpoint
of the client's motivations: What made her do it? Thus rather
than looking at therapists' attitudes and behaviors, the profes-
sion adopted the self-serving view that men are vulnerable to
women's sexual power over them, and therapists are no
exception. Today we realize that we can no longer blame the
victim; regardless of the client's motives, such behavior is
unethical and as such requires us to go beyond blaming the
client for what happens under the guise of therapy.
Given this new viewpoint in the profession, why does such
unethical behavior continue to occur and how can sexual
contact become a part of the therapeutic relationship? Perhaps
the concepts of male and female dependency discussed earlier
can provide some clues to understanding why erotic contact
between female clients and male therapists occurs despite
ethical injunctions against it.
Clearly, many women who come to therapy are experienc-
ing a "relational deficit" and are seeking intimacy with a man.
However, a male therapist, despite his training, has been
socialized to view women as having the power to bring out
men's feelings (and not vice versa) as well as to validate their
masculinity through sexual relations. Thus when the client
feels distressed and emotionally intense, the male therapist
may feel afraid of her intensity and yet feel compelled to
"help" her because of her assumed dependency on him as a
man. The feeling of needing to help her, and yet experiencing
the client as both overwhelming and weak, can leave the
therapist feeling paralyzed and impotent. One deeply in-
grained way of reestablishing potency with women is through
sexual expression. Hence the therapist responds to the client's
needs for intimacy with his needs for male validation and
dominance and, in essence, patronizes the client.
Also important in understanding the relationship between
male dependency and eroticism is the related concept of male
entitlement and dominance. Men are socialized to expect
immediate respect, attention, deference, a n d / o r flirtation in
their interactions with women. Men also have little experience
relating to women in a truly egalitarian fashion. Thus male
therapists are likely to focus on the women's dependency
rather than assisting her to integrate her dependency and
independency. In addition, the female client's ability to un-
derfunction with men serves to enhance the male therapist's
ego and to collude with him in continuing her dependency in
the therapeutic relationship. (Further fostering female de-
pendency is unlikely to be a desired or positive therapeutic
goal for women.)
Last, feelings of entitlement may make therapy particularly
frustrating with women who are perceived by the male ther-
apist as "resisting" his help or not making the progress that
he would like or expect. One way of alleviating this frustration
is to reestablish one's dominance and importance by initiating
a sexually intimate relationship.
Many male therapists lack sufficient awareness and under-
standing of their own dependency needs, particularly their
need to be validated by women, and of the close association
between their sexual functioning and their sense of self. As
noted earlier, men in our society often define their sense of
self in terms of their sexual functioning and their ability to
make it with women. Nelson (1985) provided a vivid illustra-
tion of this from his own experiences as an intern. A female
client whom he had been seeing for several months came in
one day and said "Well, do you want to or not?" He was
astonished and totally stunned by her comment. After con-
suiting with his supervisor, in the next session he asked the
client to help him understand how he might be contributing
to her feelings. She said "You flirt. It's as if you want me to
be in love with you. You don't want me to be angry with you.
You don't want me just to like you. You want me to be in
love with you. Why do you do that?" (p. 103). Nelson's
further self-reflections and subsequent discussions in supervi-
sion made him realize how he unconsciously used sexuality
in his therapy with clients (and with women in general) as a
way of regaining feelings of control and power. He tended to
flirt or "sexually charge things" when he felt women were
being competitive with him and questioning his competence.
t Not all erotic contact occurs between male therapists and female
clients. Of the licensed psychologists surveyed by Holroyd and Brod-
sky ( 1977) 5.6 % of the men and 0.6 % of the women reported having
had sexual intercourse with clients. Bouhoutsos, Holroyd, Lerman,
Forer, and Greenberg (1983) asked licensed California psychologists
to report on their clients' sexual intimacies with previous therapists;
results indicated that the preponderance of such incidents occurred
with male therapists and female clients (93% of those reported, in
comparison with 1.7% for female therapists and female clients, 0.03%
for male therapists and male clients, and 0.02% for female therapists
and male clients). The numbers are small for these other gender
pairings, but the problem is serious and requires our attention.
 SPECIAL SECTION: DEPENDENCY
This also occurred when he felt uncomfortable about being
close to women in an intimate nonsexual way. For him,
feeling intimate with a woman meant being sexual with her;
it was easier to deal with and feel in control of sexual intimacy.
Nelson's (1985) example had a positive outcome: He
learned from his female patients (and female supervisor) to
recognize and confront the type of dependency issues de-
scribed earlier in this article and to use this increased self-
knowledge to enhance his psychotherapeutic work with
women. Other outcomes are less positive. According to the
data available, 75 % of male therapists who self-reported sexual
intimacies with one client repeated this sexual contact with
other clients (Holroyd & Brodsky, 1977). Similarly, Bouhout-
sos et al. (1983) reported that in their sample of clients'
previous therapists, sexual intimacies (usually intercourse)
began within the first few sessions for 30% of the patients,
after 3 months for 25%, after 6 months for 22%, after a year
for 19%, and within 3 months after ending therapy for 4%.
Thus dynamics perhaps not unlike those described by Nelson
(1985) were set up early on in the therapy but were never
understood or confronted by the therapist. Instead, the ther-
apist's needs were acted upon, despite the unethical nature of
such behavior and its negative consequences for the client.
In his book Male Sexuality, Zilbergeld (1978) listed a ninth
myth, that sex should be natural and spontaneous. Paralleling
this, perhaps the first myth of eroticism in the psychothera-
peutic setting is that the male therapist should naturally know
what to do about it; the second myth is that as long as it is
unethical, it will not happen; and the third is that educated
consumers will keep the profession honest. Such myths per-
petuate the problem. In fact, efforts to rely predominately on
a system of imposing external sanctions may be less effective
in preventing violations of this sort than would an approach
based on formal training and education.
Education and Training
Effectively dealing with issues of sex and gender in psycho-
therapeutic treatment requires education in and an under-
standing of the sex role socialization of women and men,
particularly male and female dependency. As was mentioned
earlier, contemporary women are overly socialized to depend
on men to meet their emotional needs and often enter therapy
for help in this area. Contemporary men, in contrast, develop
a strong interconnection between sexuality and gender. Their
sexuality becomes related to their self-esteem, concepts of
intimacy, and manliness. In addition, their needs for power
and dominance make it difficult for them to recognize and
own their own emotional dependency, particularly vis-a-vis
women, and to enter into egalitarian relationships with them.
Without adequate education and training, male and female
therapists remain trapped to some degree in their own social-
ization and may lack the vision or objectivity needed, for
example, to assist women in moving beyond their own socie-
tally imposed limits. What forms can this education and
training take and how can it be implemented? Two necessary
steps are outlined briefly as follows.
Recognition of the problem. Quite apparent is the collu-
sion between current educational practices and the social
559
system. What we do as educators and practitioners reflects
the social practices of the culture and society in which we live.
In therapy, as in the real world, female dependency often is
nourished, whereas men are protected from facing their strong
dependency needs. Moreover, training programs for psychol-
ogists engage in this same collusion. Rarely is male sexuality
discussed or studied. Rarely are male students given the
opportunity to understand their own sexuality and how it
relates to their sense of self and developing ego. Little if any
attention is given to the social construction of male and female
dependency and how these relate to therapist-client dynamics
and the process and goals of therapy.
Despite explicit ethical standards, sexually intimate behav-
ior between therapists and clients is an increasingly serious
problem within the profession, as indicated by the increasing
number of cases that are coming before state and national
ethics committees and licensing boards and the increasing
number of malpractice suits (Pope et al., 1986). The results
of a national survey of ethical dilemmas in psychological
practice (Haas, Malouf, & Mayerson, 1986) indicate that of
the 17 areas of potential ethical difficulty presented to partic-
ipants (e.g., confidentiality of privileged communication, pro-
viding informed consent to clients), the area rated most
serious was "colleagues' sexual conduct, rated 4.12 on a 1-5
rating scale. This area also ranked seventh of fifteen in fre-
quency of occurrence. One's own sexual impulses or conduct
ranked ninth of fifteen in frequency of occurrence and re-
ceived an average seriousness rating of 3.21. The problem can
no longer be ignored.
Providing effective learning. This second step has three
important requirements: competent and informed teachers,
an atmosphere conducive to learning, and effective teaching
materials. Psychologists who teach must first deal with their
own sexism and gender socialization as individuals and edu-
cators. They also need to be aware of the issues described in
this article and of the wider area of gender issues in psycho-
therapy. They and the students they educate will then be in
the position to work appropriately with their own and their
clients' feelings of sexual attraction. Recent reports on the
erotic behavior between educators and their students make
one cautious about the qualifications of some educators and
supervisors in areas related to eroticism and sexual attraction
(Glaser & Thorpe, 1986; Pope, Schover, & Levenson, 1980).
(The names of qualified instructors for special seminars,
workshops, and in-service training on this and related topics
are available from APA's Central Office.)
Also important is the atmosphere provided for learning.
Historically and still today, a therapist's attraction to a client
is viewed as a therapeutic error, something to hide and to be
ashamed of, even though recent survey data from a large
sample of psychotherapists reveal that 87%, (95% of men,
76% of women) have been sexually attracted to their clients,
at least on one occasion (Pope et al., 1986), and many (63%)
feel guilty, anxious, or confused about the attraction. This
tendency to view sexual attraction as a weakness or error adds
to the collusion mentioned earlier and reinforces taboos that
have come to be associated with acknowledging feelings of
sexual attraction toward clients. As the data reported by Pope
et al. (1986) make apparent, there exists a gaping hole in
560 LUCIA ALBINO GILBERT
current training programs. Students and trainees need to be
given the opportunity to explore issues of dependency and
sexual behavior and feelings in a safe and supportive environ-
ment without fear of being labeled bad or incompetent or of
being taken advantage of by supervisors or professors who
themselves have not worked through a n d / o r have little un-
derstanding of the core issues.
The third important ingredient is teaching materials. A
wealth of information is available in the form of books,
articles, videotapes, and films (interested readers can contact
me for a course syllabus.) Particularly useful, especially for
workshops and in-service training, are the film "Killing Us
Softly," available from Cambridge Documentary Films, and
the videotape "Sex Fair Psychotherapy," developed by An-
nette Brodsky and distributed by the University of Alabama.
Both of these raise core issues in ways that facilitate group
discussion. The Brodsky tape, in fact, was especially developed
for training in this area and includes questions designed for
discussion. Relevant books and chapters include those by
Schaffer (1980), Edelwich and Brodsky (1982), Keith-Spiegel
and Koocher (1985), Bouhoutsos (1984), and Gilbert (1987).
These materials can be used in seminars associated with
training programs or in supervision and in-service training.
For example, I teach a graduate-level course on gender issues
in psychotherapy in which four 3-hr seminars are devoted to
the topic of eroticism in the psychotherapeutic setting. Both
experiential and didactic approaches to learning are used.
Many of the articles referenced herein are among the required
readings. Role plays specifically developed for the seminar are
used to highlight potentially difficult issues. In one role play
the client is to be subtly flirtatious with the therapist; another
concerns a female client devastated by a previous therapeutic
relationship that became sexual; a third concerns a well-
meaning male supervisor who wants to make an exception to
his hard-and-fast rule about dating interns.
This combination of cognitive and experiential learning
invariably results in open discussions, an understanding of
underlying issues, and an opportunity to begin to work
through personal dynamics as well as to learn how to effec-
tively handle difficult situations and human feelings that are
an inevitable part of therapists' lives. A case in point is recent
data reported by Pope et al. (1986); more than four fifths of
the therapists surveyed believed that in instances when they
were attracted to a client, the attraction was mutual. The
opportunity to discuss feelings and incidents such as this,
which typically have been shrouded in silence but are likely
to occur, is essential to effective training. And there are other
long-term benefits: Students who are able to recognize and
discuss these issues in training are likely to seek consultation
when they find themselves in situations in which they feel
sexually attracted and are unable to effectively deal with their
feelings and remain therapeutically available to their client.
They will know that such feelings are possible and that
therapeutically enhancing and ethical ways of dealing with
them are also possible.
Where To From Here
I have described aspects of male and female socialization
that need to be understood to provide effective therapeutic
treatment to female clients. There exist a vast literature and
lore about female dependency, whereas little if any under-
standing or recognition of male dependency is evident. Iron-
ically, this situation, which in many ways parallels societal
values and norms, inhibits the very integration that healthy
adults attempt to achieve.
I also assert that an understanding of male and female
dependency within the context of current societal views and
practices is essential to decreasing the incidence of sexual
abuse of clients. As psychologists we are deeply concerned
about negative effects in psychotherapeutic treatment that are
related to gender, such as the continuing problem of sexual
relations between therapists and clients. Yet as educators we
appear reluctant to look at the broader and deeper psychoso-
ciological issues, and the social structure in which they are
embedded, that give rise to unacceptable and harmful behav-
ior on the part of therapists. I described specific courses and
material that can be included in graduate and internship
training programs and continuing education settings so that
students, trainees, and practicing professionals can develop
sufficient self-awareness and knowledge to live by the code of
ethics of their profession. Although we cannot directly change
society, we can make great strides in changing aspects of our
behavior and, by so doing, influence the therapeutic environ-
ment in which we work to become more conducive to positive
emotional functioning.
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Received May 12, 1986
Revision received October 20, 1986
Accepted January, 12, 1987 9

Delworth Appointed Editor of Professional Psychology:

Research and Practice, 1989-1994

The Publications and Communications Board of the American Psychological Association

announces the appointment of Ursula M. Delworth, University of Iowa, as editor of
Professional Psychology: Research and Practice for a 6-year term beginning in 1989. As of
January 1, 1988, manuscripts should be directed to

Ursula M. Delworth
University of Iowa
College of Education
360 LC
Iowa City, Iowa 52242

Manuscript submission patterns for Professional Psychology: Research and Practice make
the precise date of completion of the 1988 volume uncertain. The current editor, Norman
Abeles, will receive and consider manuscripts until December 31, 1987. Should the 1988
volume be completed before that date, manuscripts will be redirected to Delworth for
consideration in the 1989 volume.