Quality Time.

Quality time is about being available. It’s about being present in a moment
whether it be half an hour or four hours. The time is not what is important. It is how you spend
that time, and where your attention is focused during that time that is important. It’s important
for parents to stay present and not use their smartphone or engage in other distracting tasks when
trying to have quality time with their children; just having your full attention focused on your
child (Without even saying a word or doing anything) is shown to be helpful to any child’s
emotional development (Team, 2017). It includes following steps:
Schedule time together.

Try putting an “appointment” into your calendar for a regular time to spend with your child (e.g.
10 minutes). Add reminders to your phone calendar- most of us are well-trained to check what
the pinging phone is reminding us to do. Make sure this time is suitable for both you and your
child and not competing with other daily demands.

Be interested.

Be actively aware of your child’s daily activities, the sports games they are
attending, the big projects they have for school. If you can’t actually be present for these
events, ask your child how you can be involved in other ways, such as helping them
prepare, or ensuring you ask your child about how the event went (with detailed
descriptions), or asking someone else to attend and take photos or videos that you can
look at together with your child
Let the child lead the activities.

When spending time with your children, try to let them lead the activity. They may choose to
play a videogame, scrapbook, and cook, read a book together, go to the park, or maybe play a
particular type of sport. Encouraging your child to lead the activities provides him or her with the
opportunity to share particular interests, demonstrates their competence to you, teaches you
something, and feel in control and invested in their relationship with you. It also helps the parent
to have a break from being the “boss” and encourages adults to go with the flow of the activity
rather than pre- empting how the activity should pan out.
Share an interest.

Invite your child to participate in an activity or interest of yours. When we have a passion for
something we do, we love to share it. Try inviting your child to join you in an activity you can do
together or an interest you have. Make sure your child can actively participate in the activity with
you rather than just being a by-stander. You and your child may discover a common interest, or
if your child would prefer not to participate in your activity again, go back to showing an interest
in their activities and passions.

Special date times.

If it’s at all possible, plan a special date with your child where it is
just that child and parent spending time together. Some families are able to do this
weekly, others monthly, and others less regularly. This is different from spending one-on-
one time together on a regular (daily if possible) basis as described above. A date time
together usually involves doing something outside the daily routine and requires more
effort and planning.
Use routine activities for time together.

If you find you are still unable to make a regular time to be with your child outside the normal
daily routine, sneak in some quality time during routine activities. Again it’s not about the
amount of time you spend but it’s what you do with that time. So try to make a point of sitting
around a table and eating your food together (with the TV off). This gives you the perfect
opportunity to have a real conversation with your child, and be sure to listen and really engage
with one another. Alternatively you could take some time to read them a story before bed and
grab some cuddles while you are at it. Any time you can spend interacting positively with your
child or children is worthwhile. Much of our time is spent doing what needs to be done and this
can lead to many frazzled moments between family members. Research suggests that the ratio of
negative vs. positive interactions with our children needs to be roughly 1:5. That means that, for
every one negative thing you say, suggest or imply, it’s important to counteract with 5-6 positive
things. Sadly, most of us fall well short of this on a daily basis. So, give yourself a challenge and
actively try to catch your child doing things that are helpful, positive, “right” or appropriate.
Then, let them know about it.