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Modernism Self Creation and The Maternal The Mother S Son Among The Victorians and Modernists 1st Edition James Martell
Modernism Self Creation and The Maternal The Mother S Son Among The Victorians and Modernists 1st Edition James Martell
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In this fascinating study, James Martell exposes the project of
obliteration inscribed in the modernist myths and manifestos
proclaiming the male writer’s arrival, originality, agency, and right to
speak. The Mother’s Son interprets the mother-son relation as
constitutive of male modernist literature’s sense of its identity and
possibility. We rediscover Rousseau, Baudelaire, Poe, Rimbaud, Rilke,
Joyce, and Beckett as matricidal sons, their acts of separating from,
effacing and appropriating the mother’s body indissociable from their
coming to writing. This striking critical negotiation of sexual
difference is worthy to follow major theoretical studies of matricide
and the maternal by Elisabeth Bronfen, Barbara Johnson, Amber
Jacobs, and Elissa Marder.
Sarah Wood, Reader in Literature and Theory (Retired), University
of Kent, UK
James Martell
First published 2019
by Routledge
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and by Routledge
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
A catalog record for this title has been requested
ISBN: 978-0-367-19169-6 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-0-429-20086-1 (ebk)
Typeset in Sabon
by codeMantra
To whom we write on
Contents
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Index
Acknowledgements
Notes
1 Unless otherwise stated, bilingual texts will be referred, first in its translation’s
pagination, then in the originals.
2 Pound’s “In a Station of the Metro” is another great example of this morphing
of the human into a plant as a way to express a change in temporality: “The
apparition of these faces in the crowd; / Petals on a wet, black bough.”
3 See Jean-Michel Rabaté, The Ghosts of Modernity and The Pathos of Distance,
and J. Derrida, Specters of Marx.
4 I want to thank Sarah Wood for pointing this relation between matricide and
extinction to me.
5 Or as Angela Moorjani describes it with regard to Beckett’s oeuvre: “the
tomblike womb and the womblike tomb in the darkness of the mind in which
the living are unborn and the dead do not die” (“Beckett’s Devious Deictics,”
21).
References
Bird Rose, Deborah, Thom van Dooren, and Matthew Chrulew (eds.). Extinction
Studies: Stories of Time, Death, and Generations. New York: Columbia UP, 2017.
Derrida, Jacques. Glas. Paris: Galilée, 1974.
———. Glas. Trans. John P. Leavy, Jr. and Richard Rand. Lincoln: U of Nebraska P,
1986.
———. Monolingualism of the Other. Trans. Patrick Mensah. Stanford: Stanford UP,
1998.
———. Specters of Marx. The State of the Debt, The Work of Mourning & The New
International. Trans. Peggy Kamuf. New York: Routledge, 2006.
Ellmann, Maud. The Nets of Modernism. Cambridge: Cambridge UP, 2010.
Freud, Sigmund. Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of
Sigmund Freud, vol. 23. London: Hogarth P, 1964.
Homer. The Odyssey. Trans. Robert Fagles. London: Penguin, 1996.
Joyce, James. Ulysses. New York: First Vintage, 1992.
Moorjani, Angela. “Beckett’s Devious Deitics.” Rethinking Beckett: A Collection of
Critical Essays, edited by Lance St. John Butler. New York: MacMillan, 1990, pp.
20–30.
Nietzsche, Friedrich. The Birth of Tragedy. New York: Penguin, 2003.
Rabaté, Jean-Michel. Ghosts of Modernity. Gainesville: UP of Florida: 1996.
———. The Pathos of Distance: Affects of the Moderns. New York: Bloomsbury,
2016.
1 The Anxiety of the Son
Incorporating Metis
You gave birth to me because you could only
give me what you are.
Mother, you gave birth to my death.
Ever since, I live and die in you,
who are love.
Ever since, I am reborn of our death. (70)
These lines from Jabès’ The Book of Questions describe the theme
of this book in their expression of the writer-son’s realisation—and
possible acknowledgement—not only of a certain debt towards his
mother but also of a continuous containment within her, an
enveloping beyond life and death. In the tradition to which these
lines belong, they are related to other mother-son figures and their
aporetic, inseparable relations, like Death and his mother Sin in
Paradise Lost, where she describes their mortal mother-son relation
thusly:
While these two examples, as well as those that will follow, provide
us with literary expressions of the son’s anxiety vis-à-vis his mother,
especially with regard to the possibility of creation, The Mother’s
Son’s proper theoretical interrogation begins with the question: what
if Derrida’s enigmatic “law of obsequence” was the law of
modernism, or even more, the law of modernity? A neologism
composed of the French term obsèques and sequence, but with an
inexhaustible anasemic proliferation due to its signifying and
material particles (ob, sequor, funeral, following, according to, etc.),
this law is one of Derrida’s most enigmatic terms.1 Its description in
Glas—where it first appeared—is less a definition than a short
narrative, almost a Baudelairian prose poem:
Putting these two laws together brings up the main subject of this
book: the modernist son writer. He is a son not because of a
biological determination but because he was born through a mother
that he cannot become in his turn. He is a son writer not because of
a profession but because everything that he writes—following the
logic of pregnancy—was already within his mother, and—according
to the law of obsequence—will continue its survival only through
hers. Finally, he is a modernist son writer because these two laws
betray the ambivalent stance in front of tradition that makes writers
modernist, except that their “anxiety of influence” is not transposed
into a fathers and sons only genealogy but shows instead an original
maternal daemonic ground, especially in the anxious equivalence of
these last four words.3
Now, this book comes also in the wake of a growing tradition of
thinkers who have been working on the links between modernism
and its writers’ relation to the mother for a few decades now. It
owes much to works like Elisabeth Bronfen’s Over Her Dead Body
(Routledge, 1992) and The Knotted Subject (Princeton, 1998), Elissa
Marder’s The Mother in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction
(Fordham, 2012) and Dead Time (Stanford, 2001), Barbara
Johnson’s Mother Tongues (Harvard, 2003), Amber Jacobs’ On
Matricide (Columbia, 2007), Maud Ellmann’s The Nets of Modernism
(Cambridge, 2010), and Lynne Huffer’s Maternal Pasts, Feminist
Futures (Stanford, 1998).4 In these works—and many others—
theorists have examined the complex question of mother and
maternity vis-à-vis writing. But while they analysed both male and
female authors, the question of the particularity of the writer-son in
front of the notions of mother and maternity as he writes and thinks
them has, for very understandable reasons,5 received less attention.
The most direct recent attempt to tackle this question has been
Andrew Parker’s The Theorist’s Mother (Duke, 2012). While Parker
focuses mostly on the mother as this notion and body appears and
works through the theorist or philosopher (focusing on Lacan, Freud,
and Marx), in this book I focus first on some of the “strongest”
modernist authors of our evolving canon and later on the crossroads
between the author who is seen as the closure or ultimate
consequence of the logics of modernism, Samuel Beckett, and
Jacques Derrida’s work. Analysing Beckett and other authors next to
and through Derrida’s oeuvre, I try to continue on Parker’s steps and
add to what he, Elissa Marder, and Gayatri C. Spivak understand is a
tremendous and fortunately unending task: to understand the role of
the mother in Derridean deconstruction.6 As we know, this task
cannot be tackled only from philosophy, theory, literature, or
psychoanalysis. As the modernist texts examined here, Derrida’s
work is written throughout all these discourses, and his writing and
style themselves weave continuously in and through these disciplines
and regimes of discourse.
To look into these two Derridean logics, obsequence and
pregnancy, as they are incarnated in modernist literature, Elisabeth
Bronfen’s Over Her Dead Body gives us a first systematic view of the
issues involved. In this rich volume, Bronfen gives an extensive
account of the ways in which women’s bodies are sites of inscription
for the writer-son, where he can negotiate not only his birth and
separation from all that presided him (tradition included) but also his
death. While her focus is not directly on the writer-son’s mother’s
body but on different kinds of feminine bodies affected by desire and
masculine apotropaic tendencies, she presents clearly the significant
importance of the maternal body for the writer and gives us an
explanation of the anxiety that the obsequence of the mother can
generate:
I’ve tried to invent new flowers, new stars, new flesh, new
tongues. I believed I had acquired supernatural powers. Well! I
have to bury my imagination and my memories! A fine
reputation of an artist and story-teller lost sight of!
(…)
Yes, at least the new hour is very harsh.
For I can say that victory is mine: the gnashing of teeth, the
hissing of fire, the reeking sighs abate. All filthy memories fade
out. My last regrets scamper off: envy of beggars, brigands,
friends of death, backward creatures of all sorts.—You who are
damned, what if I avenged myself!
One must be absolutely modern. (Complete Works, 303)9
To be modern is thus to triumph, to conquer, to be victorious at the
new hour, over memories and regrets. This attempt at the new
includes, however, a burial, the internment of memory and its
counterpart, the imagination (the famous madwoman in the attic).
In this way, all the novelty of the artist, his creations—just as any
new Athena—involve a failed introjection, an incorporation that
remains a haunting.10 Creation and the modern artwork are, thus, a
revenge on this haunting. However, not every modern writer-son
writes like Rimbaud. In other words, not all writer-sons face the crux
of the mother tongue and the incorporation of the maternal power
of creation in the same way. Even if all modernist writing attempts a
rebirth of its authors and, with it, repeats the matricide and its
repression as it writes on the mother’s body, each author and texts
perform this in a different way. In some way, we can say that their
styles are the ways in which they deal with the matricide, as well as
with the more or less conscious perception of Derrida’s two logics:
the obsequence and the pregnancy.
As we can see, the matricidal and life-giving image gets even more
complex through the Proustian logic of entanglement and mirroring
of different times and impressions (the train, Combray, the
voyeuristic moment at Mountjouvain, the death of the grandmother,
the listening of Swann’s love adventures, etc.). What is most
important for us in our consideration of the role of the mother and
matricide in the creation of the Proustian modernist project is that
the image links the matricide (through Orestes and the
grandmother’s death) with the new life, and more importantly, with
a special kind of knowledge marked by pain [“the fatal and inevitably
painful road of Knowledge” (“la voie funeste et destinée à être
douloureuse du Savoir”)], a guilty knowledge that, like Metis for
Zeus, was gained through suffering. The epistemological role of this
pain is again remarked shortly afterwards when Marcel—still
reflecting on the effects of the discovered image within him—inverts
the common trope according to which one needs to suffer in order
to create, remarking instead the need of a great capacity for
creation in order to attain certain levels of suffering: “It is often
simply from lack of creative imagination that we do not go far
enough in suffering” (“C’est souvent seulement par manque d’esprit
créateur qu’on ne va pas assez loin dans la souffrance”) (703, FR,
1593). As we will see in the next chapter, for Baudelaire suffering
and pain are also the marks of the ultimate justification for poetic
creation, and these marks have to be inscribed on the body of the
mother as well.
We find in Rilke’s Book of Hours another instantiation of these
links between pain, poetic creation, motherhood, and pregnancy.
They appear in a poem from the third book, “The book of poverty
and death.” Like Baudelaire’s “Bénédiction,” the poem has the form
of a prayer, in this case to the “powerful provider.” The first four
verses of the poem start the pleading by unifying three different
actions or events in one: the happening of “the last sign,” the
apparition of the “powerful provider,” and the giving of “human’s
serious motherhood.”
Because the next verses demand the rising of “death’s bearer,” in his
commentary of this poem in The Literary Space, Maurice Blanchot
focuses on the birthing of death. He disregards, however, not only
the previous literal “motherhood” (Mutterschaft) but also the female
body who carries the god (Gottgebärerin).
As we can see, this creation or birth is not final, and the role of the
maternal (hymn) is like a medium for the mystery of the identity (or
idea) of the self that is played in the theatre. The link between death
and the mother is however maintained when, in the last section of
the scholia to Igitur called “In spite of the prohibition of his mother,
going to play at the tombs” (“Malgré la défense de sa mère, allant
jouer aux tombeaux”), the descent into the Mystery is described as
both forbidden and commanded by the mother: “(Prohibition of his
mother to come down like that, —his mother who told him what he
had to accomplish. For him he is going too into a childhood memory,
this advised night if he killed himself, he would not be able, as an
adult, to perform the act)” [“(Interdiction de sa mère de descendre
ainsi, — sa mère qui lui a dit ce qu’il avait à accomplir. Pour lui il va
aussi dans un souvenir d’enfance, cette nuit recommandée s’il se
tuait, il ne pourrait pas, grand accomplir l’acte)”] (OC, 450). And if
there is anything left to be done before dying and disappearing
(before meeting Nothingness), it is just to give back to his own the
reason for which they have given birth to him: “I do not want to
know Nothingness before I have given back to my own that for
which they engendered me” [“je ne veux pas connaître le Néant,
avant d’avoir rendu aux miens ce pourquoi ils m’ont engendré” (OC,
451)]. This reason, this “that for which” (ce pourquoi), has to be
given back as a debt through language, that is to say, through the
releasing of the mother tongue or maternal hymn. Because of the
logic of pregnancy this giving back as revenge and payment has
been thought and ordered before the poet’s birth by the mother
herself, who both commands and prohibits it. Because of the law of
obsequence, this why, the reason for the poet’s birth and existence
[“the absurd act that proves the inanity of their madness” (“l’acte
absurde qui atteste l’inanité de leur folie” OC, 451)] will be and
remain the madness and absurdity of his own writing as an attempt
to capture the mother as witness and medium of his birth. This is
the conundrum of the modernist writer-son, born unto his mother,
reborn through his mother tongue:
THE MOTHER
(Comes nearer, breathing upon him softly her breath of wetted
ashes) All must go through it, Stephen. More women than men
in the world. You too. Time will come.
STEPHEN
(Choking with fright, remorse and horror) They say I killed you,
mother. He offended your memory. Cancer did it, not I. Destiny.
THE MOTHER
(A green rill of bile trickling from a side of her mouth) You sang
that song to me. Love’s bitter mystery.
STEPHEN
(Eagerly) Tell me the word, mother, if you know now. The word
known to all men. (580–81)
“The word known to all men” is perhaps “The hole we all have.”19
This is why as an answer to this epistemological and universal plea,
THE MOTHER just asks more personal questions, pointing back to
her (“Who saved you the night you jumped into the train at Dalkey
with Paddy Lee? Who had pity for you when you were sad among
the strangers?”) and, finally, demands from him not exactly a word
or an action, but something in between, a speech act: “Repent,
Stephen” (581).
Even if Joyce exposed it exuberantly in his work, making it the
surface of its writerly performances—as for example in the Anna
Livia Plurabelle figure of Finnegans Wake—the realisation of
matricide as an inherent trait of certain modernism will find its
ultimate exponent in Beckett’s trilogy. However, my contention is
that the necessity of this matricidal violence20 for male modernist
writing does not appear clearly until we read Beckett’s work through
a thinker like Derrida. In other words, the figure of the mother and
birth, as well as the anxiety of the writing son that ends up in
matricide do not appear clearly until we read the utmost conclusion
of modernist writing through the writer-son-philosopher who
explained—drawing out the conclusions and aporias of modern
philosophy in what we call deconstruction—two logics of modern(ist)
thought and writing: obsequence and pregnancy.
Notes
1 As Elissa Marder explains it with regard to Derrida’s oeuvre as a whole:
There certainly remains more to be said, for example, about the strange ‘law
of obsequence,’ set forth in Glas, which traces the mother’s survival as a
form of remainder of that which was never present and hence escapes all
ontology. One might wonder if—or how—this law of ‘obsequence’ might
underwrite mourning work in later texts and inflect the notion of inheritance
(between fathers and sons) that he pursues in Specters of Marx and
elsewhere. At the very least, it bears observing that this spectral presence of
a primordial mother “watches over” all his mourning texts. (The Mother in
the Age of Mechanical Reproduction, 39)
2 The Post Card from now on referred as PC, and its original French version, La
carte postale, referred as CP.
3 “This anxiety, this mode of melancholy, is the anxiety of influence, the dark and
daemonic ground upon which we now enter” (Bloom, 25). Related to the
mother and the maternal body instead of to the fathers and their influence,
this anxiety is linked to birth at least as the writer (re)constructs it afterwards.
In this way, as Mauro Senatore explains, writing does repeat the anxiety of
birth, but, I would add, only as a reconstruction: “anxiety is a trait inherent in
the act of writing as well as in the inscription, to the extent that the latter
repeats the experience of birth” (5). This reconstruction implies the effacement
of the first birth and, with it, of the mother, making of the anxiety also guilt.
4 Another recent work, Jacqueline Rose’s Mothers: An Essay on Love and Cruelty
(2018) underscores not only the importance of the role of the mother in
human’s own understanding of themselves, but also the crisis in which mothers
and motherhood find themselves in our current global situation (immigration,
climate change, accelerated extinctions, etc.).
5 One of the main reasons, of course, being to try to give a voice to or to hear
the already existing voices of female authors constrained within a ubiquitous
and far from dead phallogocentrism.
6 Already in 1997 Spivak had commented on the possibility of a whole rereading
of the Western tradition in Derrida’s work through the relation between the son
and his mother: “An interpretation of Derrida’s interpretation of the intellectual
history of European men, in terms precisely of sons’ longing for mothers, can
perhaps be made” (“Displacement and the Discourse of Woman,” 70).
7 Elisabeth Bronfen, Over Her Dead Body, from now on OBD.
8 Linked to other Derridean notions like “supplement” and “dissemination,”
Derrida’s notion of “invagination” shows—and performs through his own writing
—the impossibility of determining a work’s or text’s clear origin or beginning
and, consequently, its frame. He describes it in “Living On” as “the inward
refolding of la gaine [the sheath, girdle], the inverted reapplication of the outer
edge to the inside of a form where the outside then opens a pocket. Such an
invagination is possible from the first trace on. This is why there is no ‘first’
trace” (Bloom et al., 97). In The Truth in Painting he relates it to the frame:
“What is the topos of the title? Does it take place (and where?) in relation to
the work? On the edge? Over the edge? On the internal border? In an
overboard that is re-marked and reapplied, by invagination, within, between
the presumed center and the circumference?” (24). Through its bodily
figuration, it not only underscores a complication in phallogocentric logic, but,
as a reference to the difference between the female and the maternal body, it
also underlines the complex desire-incest vis-à-vis any attempt to circumscribe,
especially through its origin, any phenomenon. We will examine further this
gaine in Chapters 4 and 5.
9 Unless otherwise stated, I modified all French and German translations in order
to make them more literal.
10 As I mentioned in the Introduction, I find the best examples of this notion of
modernism as a haunting of the past not only in Derrida but also in the work
of Jean-Michel Rabaté, specifically on his books The Pathos of Distance and
The Ghosts of Modernity, where he develops a theory of modernism as
hauntology very close to the one of Derrida in Specters of Marx.
11 While Bronfen investigates this link especially in relation to both portraits of
females by lovers-artists (in On Her Dead Body), and with regard to hysteria
as a question of representation (in The Knotted Subject), Marder focuses on
the links between the mother, technology, and photography.
12 What is more, Proust himself makes the connection between the jealously he
felt of Albertine and her lovers and the one he felt for his mother. This
assimilation between the two objects blends the body of Albertine with that of
the mother and retroactively makes of the memory of the waiting for the
mother a waiting for Albertine:
It was Trieste, it was that unknown world in which I could feel that
Albertine took a delight, in which were her memories, her friendships, her
childhood loves, that exhaled that hostile, inexplicable atmosphere, like the
atmosphere that used to float up to my bedroom at Combray, from the
dinning-room in which I could hear, talking and laughing with strangers
amid the clatter of knives and forks, Mamma who would not be coming
upstairs to say good-night to me; like the atmosphere that, for Swann, had
filled the houses to which Odette went at night in search of inconceivable
joys. (Volume IV Sodom and Gomorrah, 710; FR 1597)
For an analysis of the mother vis-à-vis the figure of the lesbian in Proust see
Elizabeth Richardson Viti, “Mothers, madams, and ‘lady-like’ men: Proust and
the maternal.”
13 The links between Orestes and the Proustian hero are well described by
Jacques Géraud:
The ambivalence with regards to the mother’s imago will be perfectly
handled in the Recherche through a division: to the mother in the
sanctuary, the eternal adoration of the eternal boy from Combray: we are
here in the overly known and thousand-fold surveyed realm of the Freudian
Oedipus; to the maternal grand-mother (always presented as an ersatz of
the mother, sharing communion both of them through their pious reading
of the Marquise de Sévigné), a whole spectrum of affects including a
recurring ‘irritation’ that will only subside in the long mise-en-scene of her
agony, of her staging of death by the writer that begins with the scene
where the narrator goes with her to the ‘petit pavillon treillisée de vert,’ i.e.
the public toilet in Champs-Elysées, where he will take pleasure sadistically
in giving her ‘a little fit’ (but isn’t Proust the attacker?), tragicomic overture
to the big opera of her death (…). (143). My translation
14 “Absolute Modernism and The Space of Literature” in Christopher Langlois’
Understanding Blanchot, Understanding Modernism.
15 Unless otherwise stated, all translations of Mallarmé’s texts are mine.
16 For an excellent analysis of the question of the mother in Joyce’s work, see
Christine Froula’s Modernism’s Body: Sex, Culture, and Joyce.
17 Just to mention some of the most directly engaged with the question of the
mother: Benjamin Boysen’s “The Mother and the word known to all men:
Stephen’s Struggle with amor matris in James Joyce’s Ulysses,” Ellen Carol
Jones’ “Textual Mater: Writing the Mother in Joyce,” and a work that is of the
utmost importance for our consideration of Derrida’s thoughts on the relation
between the mother, the maternal, and modernism: Jacques Trilling’s Joyce ou
l’écriture matricide.
18 James Joyce, “Epiphany 19” (March 1902) in The Workshop of Dedalus: James
Joyce and the Raw Materials for “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man,” eds.
Robert Scholes and Richard M. Kain (Evanston, IL: Northwestern UP, 1965),
29. Quoted in The Nets of Modernism, 5.
19 Coincidentally, this “word known to all men” as a universal and essential term
appears in Beckett’s work also related to the maternal. In “Rough for Radio II”
the term demanded from the prisoner, Fox, is described as “the one… thing
remain unsaid (…) that can give [him] back [his] darling solitudes” (Collected
Shorter Plays, 121), as well as what might free everybody else in the play. The
only hopeful sign that this word might be coming is Fox’s mention of a woman,
Maud, who offers to breastfeed Fox’s twin who lives inside of him. At the end,
the Stenographer remarks the maternity of this character: “S: And the milk, sir,
don’t forget the milk” (123).
20 For a detailed consideration of this matricidal violence and obsession in Beckett
sans Derrida, see Graley Herren “A Womb with a View: Film as Regression
Fantasy.”
References
Beckett, Samuel. The Collected Shorter Plays. New York: Grove Weidenfeld, 1984.
Bloom, Harold. The Anxiety of Influence. New York: Oxford UP, 1997.
Bloom, Harold, Jacques Derrida, Geoffrey H. Hartman, J. Hillis Miller, and Paul de
Man, editors. Deconstruction and Criticism. New York: Continuum, 1979.
Boysen, Benjamin “The Mother and The Word Known to All Men: Stephen’s
Struggle with amor matris in James Joyce’s Ulysses.” Neophilologus, vol. 94, no.
1, June 2010, pp. 151–63.
Bronfen, Elisabeth. Over Her Dead Body. New York: Routledge, 1992.
———. The Knotted Subject. Princeton: Princeton UP, 1998.
Derrida, Jacques. Glas. Paris: Galilée, 1974.
———. Glas. Trans. John P. Leavy, Jr. and Richard Rand. Lincoln: U of Nebraska P,
1986.
———. La carte postale. Paris: Flammarion, 1980.
———. Specters of Marx. The State of the Debt, The Work of Mourning & The New
International. Trans. Peggy Kamuf. New York: Routledge, 2006.
———. The Post Card. Trans. Alan Bass. Chicago: U of Chicago P, 1987.
———. The Truth in Painting. Trans. Geoff Bennington and Ian McLeod. Chicago: U
of Chicago P, 1987.
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Language: French
LE DIABLE
AU SAHARA
Chez Calmann-Lévy :
Chez Flammarion :
Chez G. Crès :
Chez J. Férenczi :
LE DIABLE AU SAHARA
Une seule fois, au cours de mon existence, j’ai cru découvrir une
raison à ces mystères. J’étais alors tout enfant. Je rêvais
fréquemment que ma bonne me conduisait à travers un corridor
jusqu’à une porte qui me causait une horreur indicible : pesante,
méchante, peinte d’un jaune hideux, avec une énorme serrure et de
gros verrous ; et je tirais sur le tablier de cette fille pour qu’elle
m’emmenât.
Cette porte n’existait pas dans la maison. Mais, après la guerre
de 1870, on termina une aile qui était en voie de construction avant
l’arrivée des Allemands. Et, quand je voulus pénétrer dans cette
bâtisse neuve, au sommet de trois marches qui donnaient sur
l’ancienne lingerie, je vis la porte. C’était elle ! Et j’eus la même
impression d’effroi, j’éprouvai le même besoin de fuir. Éveillé, je tirai
sur le tablier de ma bonne comme je l’avais fait dans mes rêves, un
an auparavant : et c’était une aile neuve, je le répète, un passage où
aucun souvenir ne pouvait être attaché !
Ce fait contribua beaucoup à me guérir de mes terreurs puériles.
Ce ne fut que beaucoup plus tard, quand je fus devenu presque un
homme, que je demandai par hasard à ma mère pourquoi on avait
mis à l’entrée de ce bâtiment neuf une porte si laide, et qui ne
paraissait pas être du même style que celui-ci.
— … Une économie, me répondit ma mère. On avait retrouvé
cette porte dans le grenier, en faisant des rangements, après le
départ des Prussiens. Elle y avait dormi plus de cinquante ans…
Jadis, c’était elle qui fermait l’escalier, du temps de Mme de
Normond.
— Du temps de Mme de Normond !
… Mme de Normond était l’une des anciennes propriétaires de la
maison, au début du XIXe siècle. Elle avait pour mari un homme qui
voulait l’assassiner et qui, du reste, finit par passer en cour
d’assises. Quand M. de Normond parvenait à s’introduire au rez-de-
chaussée, sa femme, folle de terreur, se réfugiait au premier étage.
Et elle avait fait barrer l’escalier d’une porte — cette lourde porte-là,
avec son énorme serrure et ses gros verrous.
… Mais comment ai-je rêvé cette porte avant de l’avoir jamais
vue, pourquoi me faisait-elle peur avant de la connaître ? Pourquoi,
d’avance, ai-je revécu les épouvantes de cette femme harcelée par
la haine ? Mais puis-je jurer, d’autre part que, tout enfant, je n’avais
pas entendu conter l’histoire de Mme de Normond, n’en gardant
qu’une impression d’effroi, non le souvenir, qui ne me revenait,
imprécis, diffus, qu’au cours de mon sommeil ?… Je suis ainsi ; tout
homme est ainsi ; il y a en nous un primitif pour lequel la seule
explication est l’explication mystique — et un sceptique
contemporain qui veut trouver à toutes forces autre chose — qui
trouve, n’importe comment.
C’est en discutant sur tout ça, entre nous, car le père d’Ardigeant
ne disait rien, qu’on arriva enfin à Telloust, un trou circulaire où il y a
toujours de l’eau, et qui a été autrefois le cratère d’un volcan, à ce
qu’on prétend. A côté, dans les anciens jours, les indigènes ont
construit un bordj, comme ils disent, une espèce de maison-
forteresse, carrée, en terre battue, sans fenêtres à l’extérieur : vous
voyez ça d’ici.
Le père d’Ardigeant devait nous quitter le lendemain avec le boy
qui lui servait sa messe — ce qui était d’autant plus drôle que ce
boy, je crois, n’était même pas chrétien : le père ne s’est jamais
soucié de convertir personne — et trois chameaux seulement : vous
voyez qu’il ne s’inquiétait pas de son confortable.
C’était grand, dans l’intérieur de la maison-forteresse. Nous lui
avons dit : « On pourra vous loger ici, il y a de la place ! » Mais il
secoua la tête : « J’ai une tente, dit-il, une toute petite tente. Je vais
la dresser dehors. »
Nous savions qu’il faisait ainsi toutes les fois qu’il pouvait ; ce
n’était pas mépris de nous : il n’était heureux que le plus seul
possible, j’ai déjà essayé de vous le faire comprendre. Mais il
accepta de souper avec nous, sur le toit de la maison, un toit en
terrasse, sans balustrade, à la mode arabe, où on aurait plus de
fraîcheur.
Ce fut d’abord un repas assez gai ; nous n’avions guère que des
conserves — les ressources du pays sont nulles — et nous
mangions sur une table en bois blanc. Je la vois encore, cette table,
je la vois trop, je n’aime pas me rappeler : elle avait été bâtie par je
ne sais quel charpentier à la manque, un légionnaire ou un
« joyeux », je suppose — ces gens-là savent tout faire à peu près —
qui avant nous avait passé quelques jours dans ce poste : le dessus,
des voliges de caisses d’emballage mal rabotées, et les quatre pieds
épais, massifs, pris à même une vieille porte arabe qu’on avait sciée
en long, dans le sens du fil du bois. C’était très lourd et ce n’était pas
beau : mais ça suffisait pour y étaler son assiette de fer-blanc et le
couvert en aluminium de Tassart, qui a des prétentions à l’élégance.
Lui, Tassart, qui avait l’air assez excité, bavardait toujours sur sa
manie : « Je ne vous dis pas que tout soit vrai ; je ne vous dis pas
qu’il n’y ait des fraudes, mais tout n’est pas faux ! Tout ne peut pas
être faux. Vous entendez ! Par exemple, c’est un fait que les tables
tournent, et répondent quand on leur pose des questions. Ce
qu’elles disent, il est possible que ça soit des blagues ; mais ça
m’est égal : l’important, ce qu’il faut admettre, c’est qu’elles parlent,
et qu’on n’a jamais pu expliquer pourquoi.
— Mon adjudant, fis-je sans presque y penser, vous ne feriez pas
tourner celle-là ! »
Je lui disais ça parce que cette table pesait bien dans les
quarante kilos : un monument ! Nous l’avions laissée là où nous
l’avions trouvée, à peu près au milieu de la terrasse ; elle avait l’air
vissée sur le dessus de ce toit plat. Et comme elle était plus longue
que large, nous étions assis sur les deux côtés longs tandis que
Malterre et Coldru se trouvaient seuls sur les côtés courts. Le père
d’Ardigeant était sur un des côtés longs, avec moi.
Le père me regarda comme si j’avais dit une bêtise, ou commis
une imprudence, puis il plongea bien sagement les yeux dans son
assiette. Il avait raison de se méfier, car Tassart déclara tout de
suite :
— Pourquoi pas ? On peut essayer. Et ce serait une preuve, ça,
une preuve : une table que vous auriez de la peine à remuer en vous
y mettant tous à la fois, avec toutes vos forces !
Nous autres, on ne demandait pas mieux. C’était une distraction :
il n’y en a pas tant, dans ces pays-là. Et puis on ne voulait pas
croire, mais Tassart avait quand même soulevé notre curiosité ; on
voulait voir. Je dis pourtant :
— Mon adjudant, attendez qu’on ait fini de manger : il faut bien
ranger la vaisselle !
Le père d’Ardigeant me jeta un regard où il y avait de la
reconnaissance : il ne voulait pas assister à ça. Il prit tranquillement
le café avec nous, mais se leva tout de suite après. On ne le retint
pas. Ça nous aurait gênés, nous aussi, qu’il restât : on n’aurait plus
osé ; on n’aurait pas voulu lui faire de la peine.
Il descendit l’escalier, et nous le vîmes entrer dans sa tente, puis
en ressortir avec son bréviaire. Il s’éloigna dans le bled. Nous
distinguâmes assez longtemps sa longue silhouette mince, à cause
de la lune. Il avait pourtant l’air d’avoir un remords, il hésitait, il revint
sur ses pas, il cria :
— Ne faites pas ça ! Je vous assure que c’est dangereux ! Ne
faites pas ça !
Tassart répondit en rigolant :
— Revenez donc, M. le curé ! Nous vous donnerons des
nouvelles des âmes du Purgatoire !
Alors, puisqu’on se fichait de lui, il repartit et disparut derrière une
dune.