II.2.1.2.

Typical American family

The typical American family
usually consists of parents and their
unmarried children. Middle-aged
and elderly people generally do not
live with their married children.
Americans have fewer children than
in many other countries. The typical
American couple has two children,
so the average American family has
four people living together as a
household unit. When Americans
are asked to list the members of
their families, the structure of their families becomes clear. Married American
people will refer to their husband or wife and their children, if they have any, as
their immediate family. If they mention their father, mother, sister, or brother, they
will define them as separate units, usually living in separate households. Aunts,
uncles, cousins, and grandparents are considered extended family.
II.2.1.3. Changes in the American family
II.2.1.3.1. Traditional American family
In the United States, the conventional family structure is seen as a family support
system containing two married persons who provide care and security for their
biological kids. This American family has been a nuclear family, consisting of a
husband, wife, and their children, living in a house or apartment. Grandparents
rarely live in the same home with their married sons and daughters, and uncles and
aunts almost never do. In the 1950s, the majority of American households were the
classic traditional American family- a husband, wife, and two children. The father
was the “breadwinner”, who earned the money to support the family, the mother
was a “homemaker”, who took care of the children, managed the household, and
did not work outside the home, and they had two children under the age of
eighteen. According to Pew Research, in the United States, the traditional family
was what dominated in the 1950s and 1960s with about 73% of children living
without two-parent households. If you said the word family to Americans a
generation or two ago, this is the traditional picture that probably came to their
minds.
II.2.1.3.2. Current American family
Now, not only have the times changed, but the family norm has changed as well.
Families have significantly shifted in terms of structure, going from two-parent
households to a more eclectic expression of what it means to be a family. While in
the 50s and 60s, there was more of an emphasis on a family including two parents
and children, now, families have a much more diverse structure. The definition of
family has changed to include same-sex couples, single parents, remarried couples,
and those who cohabitate, making it impossible to define the typical family.
According to the report, in the 1950s, 65 percent of all children under the age of 15
were raised in traditional, nuclear families. Today, only 22 percent are. A study
found that 23 percent of children are raised by a single mother, whereas three
percent live with a single father. Seven percent of children live with a parent who
lives with an unmarried partner, a family situation that would not have been
recognized 50 years ago. Surprisingly, 27 percent of all Americans live alone.
About one-third of those living alone are 65 years of age or older. Many of them
live in small towns in the upper Midwest part of the country, where more people
prefer to stay in their own homes as they age. Others who live alone are younger
people who move to places such as Atlanta and northern Virginia (the Washington.
D.C area) in search of job opportunities.

Same-sex family Single-parent family

II.2.1.3.3. Reasons and results for the changes
There are great changes to the American family structure. Some of the
explanations are demographic. In the 1950s, men who had fought in World War II
had returned home, married, and were starting their families. There was a
substantial increase in the birthrate, producing the “baby boomers”. A second
demographic factor is that today, young people are marrying and having children
later in life. Some couples now choose not to have children at all. A third factor is
that people are living longer after their children are grown, and they often end up
alone. And, of course, there is a fourth factor – the high rate of divorce. The United
States has the highest rate in the world. The increased divorce rate is the result of
several changes in the United States. Women have experienced all increase in
financial and social independence; the deindustrialization of the United States has
made the unemployment of women necessary and the public, legal, and religious
attitudes toward divorce have toward greater acceptance. But numbers alone
cannot account for the dramatic changes in the family. Understanding the values at
work in the family will provide some important insights.
Moreover, “traditional” family structures can no longer exist because more women
have entered the workforce since the 1950s. Women were traditionally expected to
take care of the children and the house and have dinner ready when their bread-
winning husbands returned home from work. Today, women and college, enter the
workforce, and can independently take care of themselves and their families. In
2010, 37 percent of women received a bachelor’s degree or more, compared to 35
percent of men. Many families also need dual incomes to provide for their
children. The changing economy and the independence of women, including
higher education and job opportunities, have helped shift family life. And many
other reasons, such as the death of a child or a partner, as well as some young
people choosing to cohabitate rather than marry. But divorce is the top reason
nuclear families are extinct.
These changes lead to more different family structures such as blended families,
adoptive families, foster families, interracial families, married couples without
children, and homosexual families, … The most common types of families in
America include single-parent, childless, and, finally, two-worker families.
In short, the increase in the proportions of single, unmarried couples, and single-
parent households has forced a change in the traditional perception of the nuclear
family. The family is still one of the most idealized institutions in America, and the
changes that have occurred, especially during the second half of this century, are
under constant scrutiny because of the disruption that some of these changes have
seemed to cause. However, it does seem that Americans are moving away from
emphasizing one specific type of family and have begun to accept many different
types.
II.2.1.4. Compare to Vietnamese family structure
Both the Vietnamese and the Americans have an ideal image of families. The
family evokes a visual impression and a mental picture of adults and children
living together comfortably as they go about their lives in a mutually satisfying,
mutually enhancing, and harmonious way. It also evokes warmth and physical and
psychological nurturance in a setting apart from the troubled world. They hope that
family is heaven, a place of love and protection, in which the relationships between
husbands and wives and between parents and children are especially idealized in
the family image.
While Western culture promotes individuality, the family unit is very important in
Vietnamese culture. This emphasis on collectivity includes an obligation to provide
for the welfare of family members. Family members are expected to work and
behave for the good of the group. Families may publicly denounce a member who
is ill-behaved; they may also publicly pronounce family achievements. Each
member has a designated kinship term, and these are used when addressing one
another. Even though the family is viewed as a unit, the father or an older male has
the ultimate responsibility and acts as an authority figure while delegating tasks
and involving others in the decision-making. From a very young age, the father and
other family members educate the children on “filial piety”, a key part of
Vietnamese culture which requires that children give parents and elders respect,
love, and care. Vietnamese parents have a close relationship with their children.
Close contact is always maintained between family members. They have a sense of
community, consensus, and the generation gap is not as large as in America. The
American people often move to different parts for work so many children have
little contact with their members of the same family, except at family reunions
such as Christmas.
II.2.2. Marriage and Children
II.2.2.1. Marriage
Very few marriages are arranged in the United States. Most Americans regard
marriage as a couple’s commitment to their personal love for one another, rather
than an economic or social union or family arrangement. This means that many
parents have little control. More Americans are marrying later in life, living with
an unmarried partner (cohabitation), and having children whilst still unmarried.

Studies show that most

young American adults
now cohabit with their
partner
instead of moving in with
them at marriage and
fewer cohabitations
transition to
marriage. For example,
some couples choose not to
legally marry and remain in
a de
facto partnership whilst
maintaining the same
function and relationship as
a married
couple. An exception is for
LGBT couples, who are
marrying at higher rates
since
the legislation of same-sex
marriage in 2015.
Despite the changing
cultural approach to
partnership, marriage is
still
regarded as a meaningful
and highly valued
institution in America. The
value placed
on marriage itself is
determined largely by how
happy the husband and
wife make
each other. Happiness is
based primarily on
companionship. The
majority of
American women value
companionship as the most
important part of marriage.
If
the couple is not happy, the
individual may choose to
get a divorce.
Studies show that most young American adults now cohabit with their partner
instead of moving in with them at marriage and fewer cohabitations transition to
marriage. For example, some couples choose not to legally marry and remain in a
de facto partnership whilst maintaining the same function and relationship as a
married couple. An exception is for LGBT couples, who are marrying at higher
rates since the legislation of same-sex marriage in 2015.
Despite the changing cultural approach to partnership, marriage is still regarded as
a meaningful and highly valued institution in America. The value placed on
marriage itself is determined largely by how happy the husband and wife make
each other. Happiness is based primarily on companionship. The majority of
American women value companionship as the most important part of marriage. If
the couple is not happy, the individual may choose to get a divorce.
II.2.2.1.1. Types of marriage
Monogamy is when one person marries

another person and is the most common

and accepted form of marriage in the
United States. Serial monogamy is when
individuals are permitted to marry again, often on the death of the first spouse or
after divorce; they cannot have more than one spouse at one time because that
would be polygamy which in countries with marital monogamy like the US is
called bigamy.
 Polygamy is a form of marriage in which someone marries multiple people at a
given time, and is illegal throughout the U.S. Polygamy can be further categorized
into two types:

 Polygyny: Polygyny is a form of polygamy where a man is married to

multiple wives at the same time. Polygyny is not legally recognized in the
US, and it is illegal in all 50 states. The practice of polygyny is considered
a criminal offense, and individuals engaging in polygamous relationships
may face legal consequences.

 Polyandry: Polyandry is a form of polygamy where a woman is married to

multiple husbands at the same time. Polyandry is extremely rare and is not
legally recognized in the US. It is not explicitly criminalized in all states,
but it is not legally recognized as a valid form of marriage.

II.2.2.1.2. Reason for marriage

There are several reasons that Americans marry.
 Love and Companionship: Many people get married because they have
found a partner with whom they share a deep emotional connection and
desire to spend their lives together. Marriage is seen as a way to formalize
and express their love, commitment, and desire for lifelong companionship.

 Legal and Financial Benefits:

Marriage in the US comes with a
range of legal and financial
benefits. These can include tax
advantages, access to healthcare
and insurance benefits, inheritance
rights, and eligibility for spousal
benefits such as Social Security and
retirement benefits. Some couples
choose to marry to take advantage
of these legal and financial
protections and benefits.

 Social and Cultural Expectations:

Societal and cultural expectations
can play a role in people's decision
to marry. In many communities,
 marriage is seen as a significant milestone and a traditional or cultural
expectation. Couples may feel pressure from their families, communities, or
cultural backgrounds to marry and conform to social norms.

 Starting a Family: For many couples, marriage is a step towards starting a

family. Marriage provides a recognized and stable foundation for raising
children and may offer legal and societal support for the couple and their
future family. Some couples choose to marry to solidify their commitment to
each other before having children.

II.2.2.1.3. Age of marriage

The age of marriage in the United States is primarily regulated by state laws, and it
can vary from state to state. Here is some general information regarding the age of
marriage in the US:

- Minimum Age: Every state in the US has a minimum age requirement for
marriage. In most states, the minimum age to get married without parental
consent is 18 years old. However, there are exceptions and variations:

 Age with Parental Consent: Many states allow individuals who are below
the age of 18 to get married with the consent of their parents or legal
guardians. The specific age requirements and consent procedures vary by
state. Some states require both parents' consent, while others may require
consent from just one parent or a court's approval.

 Age with Judicial Approval: In certain circumstances, individuals below the

minimum age requirement can obtain a marriage license through a court
order. This typically involves seeking judicial approval and demonstrating
special circumstances or reasons for the marriage.

- Child Marriage: Historically, some states had legal provisions that allowed
for child marriages, where individuals under the age of 18 could marry.
However, in recent years, there has been a push to raise the minimum age to
prevent child marriages. As of my knowledge cutoff in September 2021,
many states have enacted laws to increase the minimum age and restrict or
eliminate child marriages. It's important to note that the specific laws
regarding child marriage can vary by state.

II.2.2.1.4. Divorce
Divorce is relatively easy to obtain in most parts of the United States. Most states
have “no-fault” divorce. A no-fault divorce is when a couple states that they can no
longer live happily together, that they have irreconcilable differences, and that it is
neither partner’s fault. The divorce rate rose rapidly in the United States from the
1960s through the 1980s and then leveled off. In fact, approximately one out of
every two marriages now ends in divorce, more than a million children experience
parental divorce each year, almost one in three American children are born out of
wedlock and more than one in four families are single-parent families. Divorce is
now so common that it is no longer socially unacceptable, and children are not
embarrassed to say that their parents are divorced.

II.2.2.1.5. Comparison between American and Vietnam

In Vietnam
Marriage -In the past, marriage in Vietnam
was arranged by parents.
-A Vietnamese engagement
ceremony is an important one
before the wedding which
involves both families
-For the reason I have said above,
so marriage plans are decided by
the parents of both parties. As a
rule of custom, the marriage of a
couple completely depends on the
decision of the man’s family.
- Vietnamese couples live in
harmony together by deeply
In the US
- In the US, parents do not
arrange marriages for their
children. Young people are
expected to find a husband or
wife on their own; their parents
do not usually help them.
- It is not necessary to ask
permission from the couple’s
parents about their engagement
ceremony.
- In fact, parents are frequently
not told of marriage plans until
the couple has decided to
marry. This means that parents
 feeling between husband and wife. have little control, and
generally not much influence,
over whom their children
marry.
- Happiness is based on
companionship. The majority
of American women value
companionship as the most
important part of marriage.
Divorce -The divorce rate in Vietnam is - The USA has one of the
not high compared to other highest divorce rates in the
countries. About 0.4 percent for world. Divorce is easy to
men and 1.3 percent for women obtain in most parts of the
between the age of 15 and 49. The United States. The divorce rate
actual number of divorces has rapidly in the United States
risen significantly. after the 1950s, but it was hard
- Husband and wife are not leveled off by the 1990s.
responsible for any alimony to - About 10 percent of
each other. American women support their
- The burden of raising a child husbands.
tends to fall on the shoulders of - In most cases, the children
the mother. live with the mother and the
father pays child support and
has visitation rights.

II.2.2.2. The role of child

Family is a union of people who are either related by blood, marriage or adoption.
From this definition, children can be related as a family by blood or adoption.
Family is the first and the smallest unit of socialization. In the American family as
well as the family in other countries, there are certain roles and obligations which
are bequeathed by norms, humanity, traditional culture values as well as every
member of the family. It is evident that the children play an important role in the
American family given the fact that they partly contribute to maintaining the
family whose primary purpose is to advance the happiness of individual members.
Here are some roles of the child in the American family
II.2.2.2.1. The emphasis on individual
 The family will be responsible for
shaping a child and influencing their
values, skills, socialization, and
security during these childhood
development stages. The American
emphasis on the individual, rather
than the group, affects children in a
contradictory way. On the one hand, it
may cause them to get more attention
and even have more power than they
should. On the other hand, because
most children have mothers who are
working outside the home, they may not get enough attention from either parent.
Worse yet, parents who feel guilty for not having enough time with their children
may give them more material things to compensate for the lack of attention.
Working parents constantly struggle to find enough time to spend with their
children.
II.2.2.2.2. The emphasis on the needs and desires of the child
Firstly, some American families tend to place more emphasis on the needs
and desires of the child than on the child’s social and family responsibilities. This i
Firstly, some American families tend to place more emphasis on the needs
and desires of the child than on the child’s social and family responsibilities. This i
Firstly, some American families tend to place more emphasis on the needs and
desires of the child than on the child’s social and family responsibilities. This is
partly because the United States is not an aristocratic society. For example:
American parents always respect the opinions and hobbies of their children. It is
thought that forbiddance can limit their creativity. But they will ban it if that idea is
wrong. With this education, American children will have more opportunities to
express their personality. They have a high regard for education but they let their
children make decisions about their studies by themselves. In addition, acquiring a
large number of material possessions is a great importance to most Americans
given the fact that material wealth is traditionally considered as a measure of
success and social status. Therefore, American children are expected to get a job or
start-up that helps them become more and more successful in order to be able to
achieve a large number of material possessions and serve their lives, not bring
honor to the family. It is easy to understand because America rejects the system of
hereditary aristocracy and titles of nobility. Last but not least, in the United States,
the parents themselves don’t want to be a burden to their children. As a result, a
child is not supposed to look after and care for their parents when they are old.
 Secondly, in the years after World War II, much stress was placed on the
psychological needs of children, and the number of experts in this field increased
enormously. Child psychologists, counselors, and social workers were employed to
help children with problems at school or in the family. Many books on how to raise
children became best-sellers. Sometimes these books offered conflicting advice,
but almost all of them shared the American emphasis on the development of the
individual as their primary goal. In addition, some Americans believe that the
emphasis on the psychological needs of the individual child was carried too far by
parents and experts alike. Dr. Benjamin Spock, one of the most famous of the
child-rearing experts, eventually came to this conclusion. He said, “What is

making the parent’s job most difficult is today’s child-centered viewpoint.” Many
conscientious parents, said Spock, tend to “keep their eyes exclusively focused on
their child, thinking about what he or she needs from them and from the
community, instead of thinking about what the world, the neighborhood, the family
will be needing from the child and then making sure that he or she will grow up to
meet such obligations.”
In conclusion, today’s parents seem more concerned about teaching their
children responsibility. Although Americans may not agree on how best to nurture
and discipline their children, most still hold the basic belief that the major purpose
of the family is the development and welfare of each of its members as individuals.
II.2.2.2.3. Comparison between American and Vietnam
Vietnamese culture traditionally puts an emphasis on family and community rather
than individuals while Americans emphasize individualism and self-reliance. The
Vietnamese family is formed by three fundamental and core values associated with
the fine customs and traditions of the Vietnamese people: filial piety, moral debt or
grace, and merit. Filial piety, the most emphasized value, includes the duties and
obligations of children towards their parents. It binds a son or daughter in an
unbreakable parental bond because of a moral or gratitude debt that the person has
and that can never be fully repaid. Vietnamese is taught from birth through the
retelling of countless stories and folk songs, popular sayings, myths, and well-
known stories - about the sacrifices parents had to make to save their lives, raising
children from what parents and ancestors have had merit in the past, spanning
many generations. He is reminded to always remember “he who planted the tree
that bears fruit for which he is enjoying” and “the spring water quenches his
thirst.” Accordingly, when parents are old, children are expected to take care of
them to compensate for the gift of birth and upbringing and even sacrifice
themselves for the sake of family. On the contrary, in the United States, the parents
themselves don’t want to be a burden to their children. As a result, a child is not
supposed to look after and care for their parents when they are old. In addition, the
Vietnamese child also learned that the prosperity, wealth, and happiness that he or
she currently had was the result of the merit accumulated by ancestors through
successive generations of ethical observance and good deeds. Such merit was
considered to be an inheritance as solid and worthy as land or a house, and the
adult child was expected in turn to contribute to the amassing of such merit to be
bestowed on those that would follow. Furthermore, the internalizing of these three
values obligated the sons to ensure the continuity of the male line through
procreation. On the contrary, the value placed on marriage itself is determined
largely by how happy the husband and wife make each other. Happiness is based
primarily on companionship. The majority of American women value
companionship as the most important part of marriage. Other values, such as
having economic support and the opportunity to have children, although important,
are seen by many American people less important. Therefore, their son is not made
to have children in order to ensure the continuity of the male line through
procreation.
II.2.3. Four stages of marriage relationships
Equality is also an important factor affecting the relationship between husband and
wife in the US. Women have made certain progress to achieve equal status for
themselves in the family and society. The institution of marriage in the US has
gone through four stages of development. In each period, wives have raised the
level of equality with their husbands and gradually gained more power in the
family.
II.2.3.1. Stage I: Wife as Servant to Husband
During the 19th century, American wives were expected to be completely obedient
to their husbands. As late as 1850, wife-beating was legal in almost all the states of
the United States. Although both husbands and wives had family duties, the wife
had no power in family matters other than that which her husband. Women were
not allowed to vote, a restriction that in part reflected women’s status as servants to
the family.
II.2.3.2. Stage II: Husband-Head, Wife-Helper
During the late 19th and early 20th centuries, opportunities for women to work
outside the household increased. More wives were now able to support themselves.
The husband could no longer make family decisions alone and demand that the
wife follow them. The wife was freer to disagree with her husband and to insist
that her views be taken into account in family decisions.
Even though the wife’s power increased, the husband remained the head of the
family. The wife became his full-time helper by taking care of his house and
raising his children. She might argue with him and sometimes change his mind, but
his decision on family matters was usually final.
This increase in the equality of women in marriages reflected increased status for
women in the society at large and led to women gaining the right to vote in the
early 20th century.
II.2.3.3. Stage III: Husband-Senior Partner, Wife-Junior Partner
During the 20th century, more and more wives took jobs outside the home. In 1940,
for example, only 14 percent of married women in the United States held jobs
outside the home. By the 2000s, more than 60 percent were employed.
The power relative to that of their husbands increases still further. According to
Scanzomi, when married women take this step, there is a strong mark of power in
the family with their husbands. The wife’s income becomes important in
maintaining the family’s standard of living. Her power to affect the outcome of
family decisions is greater than in the past.
Although she has become a partner, however, in this stage the wife is still not an
equal partner with her husband, since in these marriages the husband’s job or
career still provides more of the family income. He sees himself as the senior
partner, and she is the junior partner of the family enterprise. Even though she has
a job, it has a lower priority than her husband’s.
In the United States today, the economic situation, and high standard of living
make it difficult if the family depends only on one source of income, the husband,
so this is also the main reason why American women want to have greater
economic opportunities.
II.2.3.4. Stage IV: Husband-Wife Equal Partners
Beginning in the late 1960s, a growing number of women expressed a strong
dissatisfaction with any marriage arrangement. They have had independent ideas,
want to be in charge of their own lives, and they want to be free to choose their life
partner. A man’s person and career are the top criteria for them to consider
choosing a life partner. By the end of the 1970s, for example, considerably less
than half of the women in the United States still believed that they should put their
husbands and children ahead of their own careers. In the 2000s, most American
women believed that they should be equal partners in their marriages and that their
husbands should have equal responsibility for childcare and household chores.
In an equal-partnership marriage, the wife pursues a full-time job or career that has
equal or greater importance to her husband. The long-standing division of labor
between husband and wife comes to an end. The husband is no longer the main
provider of family income, and the wife no longer has the main responsibilities for
household duties and raising children. Husband and wife share all these duties
equally. Power over family decisions is also shared equally.
The reality of life in the United States is that although most American women now
have an equal say in the decisions affecting the family. They sometimes earn less
than men for the same work, an average of 77 cents for every dollar. Also,
although women make up 49 percent of the workforce, most women still spend
more time taking care of the children, cooking, and cleaning than their husbands
do. Many women are resentful because they feel like they have two full-time jobs-
the one at work and the one at home. Women generally earn less than men for the
same work. On the other hand, many women are still striving for true equality in
the workplace.
Dealing with two careers and family responsibilities can be as difficult for men as
it is for women. While young couples strive for equality in their careers, marriages,
and parenting, society at large still lacks many of the necessary structures to
support them.
II.2.4. Dual-Earning Families
Dual-earning families, also known
as dual-income households or dual-
career households, are families in
which both partners are engaged in
paid employment or have their own
careers. In a dual-earning family,
both individuals contribute to the
family's income and financial
stability. This is in contrast to a
traditional family structure where
only one partner typically works
outside the home while the other
focuses on caregiving and domestic
responsibilities. Dual-earning families are becoming increasingly common in
modern society, as more women pursue careers and both partners share the
responsibility of earning income and managing household duties.
II.2.4.1. Financial well-being
Married couples typically have both higher incomes and greater wealth than
unmarried individuals, even after income is adjusted to take into account the
number of people in the family. Among married couples, those with two earners
have higher incomes, on average, than those with one-earner. In the US, two-
earner families have pulled ahead economically as their incomes have increased
faster than the incomes of one-earner families. In 1970, the median income of dual-
earner families was 1.32 times as high as that of married couple families in which
the wife did not work for pay (Spain and Bianchi 1996). In 1998, the ratio was 1.79
(United States Bureau of the Census 2000). But the higher income of two-earner
families must be adjusted for the loss of home production. One estimate suggests
that dual-earner families need about 35 percent more income to have the same
standard of living as families with one spouse—almost always the wife—working
full time in the home, to make up for the goods and services produced at home and
for clothes, transportation, and other costs of employment (Lazear and Michael
1988).
Women and men are marrying later and spending more time unmarried than in the
past. In many countries, levels of education have risen dramatically, especially for
women, at the same time that family size has fallen. These changes reduce the need
for women's time at home and increase the rewards for their time in paid
employment, pushing them and their families toward dual-worker and working
parent families.
II.2.4.2. Potential earning power
One obvious reason why two-
parent families might have
relatively higher incomes is
that they contain one more
potential adult earner than
single-parent families. But
how often do both parents in a
two-parent household work? Is
it possible that marriage causes
secondary earners to work
fewer hours or to stop working
entirely, thereby diminishing-
or in some cases even
completely offsetting-the
potentially positive effects of marriage on family income? Many researchers have
investigated the effects of marriage on work. Although American women as a
whole have increasingly joined the U.S. labor force over the past several decades,
the group whose labor force participation rate has increased most rapidly is
married women with children. In more than 60 percent of marriages, both spouses
now work, with the wife earning more than the husband in about a quarter of dual-
earner couples. Although marriage historically has tended to reduce a couple’s
hours worked, usually the wife’s, that effect has diminished over time. Today, it
may largely be limited to relatively well-off groups, such as white women and
wives whose husbands have high earnings
II.2.5. Family values
II.2.5.1. The role of the family in society
The American ideal of equality has affected not only marriage but all forms of
relationships between men and women. Americans gain a number of benefits by
placing so much importance on achieving individual freedom and equality within
the context of the family. the needs and desires of each member are given a great
deal of attention and importance. However, a price is paid for these benefits.
American families may be less stable and lasting than those of some other cultures.
The high rate of divorce in American families is perhaps the most important
indicator of this instability.
The American attitude toward the family contains many contradictions. On the one
hand, Americans will tolerate a good deal of instability in their families, including
divorce, in order to protect such values as freedom and equality. On the other hand,
they are strongly attached to the idea of the family as the best of all lifestyles. In
fact, the great majority of persons who get divorced find a new partner and
remarry. Studies show consistently that the vast majority of Americans believe that
family life is an important value.
So what is family life? We have seen that fewer than one in four households
consists of a traditional family – a father, mother and their children. Many of these
are actually stepfamilies or blended families. And in addition to traditional families
and blended families, there are a number of single parents, both mothers and
fathers (more mothers), raising their children alone. Many of the single mothers are
divorced, but some have never married. Indeed, by 2012 almost one-half of all new
babies were born to single mothers, and this trend continues. Sometimes single
parent and their children live with the children’s grandparents for economic and
emotional support. There are all sorts of living arrangements. In recent years, a
number of gay and lesbian couples have created family units, sometimes adopting
children and sometimes arranging to have their own biological children.
There is no doubt that the definitions of family have become much broader in the
2000s. The majority of Americans would now define a family as “people who live
together and love and support each other”.
Today, the state of the American family is frequently discussed. Some Americans
believe the institution of the family and family values are both in trouble. But if
you ask Americans how their own families are then they are generally happy with
their family life. With that there are 11 points that a majority of Americans agree
are family values. With six as “clearly traditional”:
 Respecting one’s parent
 Being responsible for one’s actions
 Having faith in God
 Respecting authority
 Remaining married to the same person for life
 Leaving the world in better shape
And the other five as “a bland of traditional and newer, more expensive values”:
 Giving emotional support to other members of the family
 Respecting people for themselves
 Developing greater skill in communicating one’s feelings
 Respecting one’s children
 Living up to one’s potential as an individual
II.2.5.2. Challenges to the American family
Along with the problems of divorce, single parenting, and balancing family and
career, there are other challenges that many Americans face. Because the general
population is getting older and living longer, many middle-aged Americans are
finding themselves in the sandwich generation. That is, they are “sandwiched”
between taking care of their children and taking care of their aging parents.
Members of the sandwich generation are pulled in many directions as they try to
provide care, financial support, and emotional support to both their aging parents
and their children.
Raising children in the digital age offers more challenges to sandwich generation
parents. The use of digital devices that connect people to the Internet is having a
profound effect on the family. sociologists and psychologists tell us that the family
is the best place for children to learn social skills, moral values, and a sense of
responsibility. But in order to teach children parents have to have face-to-face time
with their kids. Increasingly, both parents and their children may be on separate
digital devices visiting different Internet sites or sending email, or text messages. It
is not uncommon to see parents and their teenagers sitting at a restaurant using
their smartphones and not talking to each other.
The development of good communication and social skills should start in the
family. Unfortunately, children may find that their parents are unavailable to guide
them, and parents may not understand what help kids need. For example, parents
may not realize that their teenagers are not learning some important social skills
while they are spending time in virtual reality. Increasingly, teenagers are using
smartphones for texting instead of talking. Consequently, kids are not learning the
social skills needed like understanding non-verbal cues or how to make “small
talk”.
II.2.5.3. Comparing to the Vietnamese family values
For the Vietnamese, family has the same importance as the American’. It’s a key
factor that significantly affects the growth of every person in Vietnam’s beliefs and
an important part of Vietnamese culture. Therefore, the Vietnamese always put
their family first and make many efforts to maintain the traditional Vietnamese
family values. For the Vietnamese family, love is the most important thing and
love and respect for one’s parents is above all. Children are expected to obey their
mother and father. Every decision is made, and every turning point in life is
marked with parents’ consultancy. A child is deeply grateful to his parents for their
help, favors, and kindness; thus, they should hold their parents dear. When their
parents get older, they ought to prove their gratitude by taking care of them when
they get sick and showing their solicitude to their parents. As an old-age tradition,
Vietnamese elderly people never live by themselves or in nursing homes but with
one of their children, usually their eldest son. This filial piety tradition is passed
from generation to generation and becomes a unique, beautiful Vietnamese cultural
feature. Ancestor worship is practiced in most, if not all, Vietnamese homes even
in the homes of Vietnamese overseas. In relationships between siblings, younger
siblings are required to respect and obey older ones. The eldest brother, the leader,
is entrusted with the heavy responsibility of substituting for the parents in case of
emergency. Respect, concord, and love among siblings are a token of a happy and
virtuous family. In Vietnamese culture, the notion of blood relationship is always
imprinted in the mind of the Vietnamese. Being members of the immediate family
and of the extended family, they are connected together by a strong sense of
collective responsibility, loyalty, and mutual obligation. Thus, they are expected to
help one another, especially in difficult times. And those are the family values of
the Vietnamese people.