Aubriana McNeely

Mr. Stro

ERWC Period 4

12 January 2024

SPEP: Scholarship Essay

Original Essay

Write the essay’s prompt (recreate to the best of your ability) here:

The prompt I was given was: Choose any song (or songs) in Hamilton. Closely read and

annotate the lyrics of the song, paying attention to the literary techniques Lin Manuel Miranda

utilizes to develop a specific theme. Then, write a fully-developed essay where you analyze how

Lin Manuel Miranda develops his message in your chosen song(s). (Remember, “how” equals

literary techniques and “message” equals theme.)

To the best of your knowledge, what scores did you earn on this essay? If you can’t

remember the scores, what were some of the things you struggled with in this essay? What

needs to be improved?

From what I remember, the scores I received on this essay were mainly threes and twos.

While writing this essay, I struggled with having a good introduction paragraph and having

consistency in what I am saying throughout the essay. When I begin to near the end of my

essays, I start to rush through what I am writing rather than thinking about what I’m putting. The

introduction paragraph, the second body paragraph, and the conclusion paragraphs all need to be

improved.
 Revised Essay

Imagine not growing up with a mother or father, getting sent to the mainland because you

could write well and then end up becoming one of the founding fathers of America. Luckily, you

do not have to imagine it, because all of that happened to Alexander Hamilton. At a young age

Alexander's father left them and shortly after that his mother passed away. He was then sent to

live with a cousin who killed himself shortly after he arrived. Growing up with no family was

challenging for Alexander, but he pushed through and ended up being sent to the mainland

because the people where he lived saw he was excellent at writing essays. In Lin Manuel

Miranda's play Hamilton, he demonstrates how Alexander Hamilton grew and matured from the

events that had taken place in his life through repetition and symbolism in the songs “Dear

Theodosia” and “Non-Stop”.

Lin-Manuel Miranda uses symbolism to showcase how Hamilton grew and matured from

the events that had taken place in his life through the song “Dear Theodosia”. When Hamilton is

singing about his son, he mentions how, “there is so much more inside [him] now” (Miranda 20).

When Eliza had been pregnant with their son Philip, he was out fighting a war and was never

there to accept that he was having a son. When Hamilton got to see his son for the first time, he

was able to accept the fact that he had a child that he felt love for and that's what he was feeling.

He felt the love for their child and experienced that feeling fully when he got to see Philip. As

Hamilton and Burr continue to sing, Hamilton mentions how, “[his] father wasn’t around” and he

swears that,” [he’ll] be around for [Philip]” (Miranda 23 & 26). When Hamilton promised to be
around for his son's life, it symbolizes how he had grown from his own father leaving him when

he was a kid. Hamilton did not have a parental figure growing up, so when he promised that he

would be there for Philip, it shows the growth he made regarding the decisions his parents had

made when he was a child. When you lose a parent so young, it can affect the way you act and

go about things, so when he promised that to Philip, it helped to symbolize the growth and

maturity he had accumulated throughout his life.

In the song “Non-Stop”, Hamilton uses repetition to help showcase that he had grown

from the events that happened throughout his life. As Burr sings that “Even though [they] started

at the very same time,” Hamilton still “[rose] to the top” it shows how he persevered through his

life despite the struggle she faced (Miranda 5 & 7). He was an orphan who, despite losing his

parents at a young age, continued to achieve his dreams by writing well and standing for what he

believed in. As they continue to sing, Burr mentions that everyday “[he] fight[s] like [he’s]

running out of time” and that “He’s just : Non-Stop” (Miranda 32 & 42 & 43). By constantly

repeating the phrase “non-stop”, it helps to further aid on the fact that Hmailton perseveres

through his struggles and doesn’t let anything stop him. He refused to give up what he had

worked for and let his life slip away from him.

In conclusion, the play Hamilton by Lin Manuel Miranda, helps showcase how

Alexander Hamilton had grown and matured through the events in his life through the use of

repetition and symbolism in songs “Dear Theodosia” and “Non-Stop”. Hamilton's perseverance

and determination are what the songs are trying to bring light to.
 Reflection

1st Paragraph:

Through my essay I had switched between past and present tense multiple times, so I

went in and tried to switch it all to past tense. In the second paragraph I tied in the evidence

better to my explanations. I made the writing try to flow more smoothly and less choppy like

how it is in the original. These choices helped to improve my essay because it helped the writing

be more smooth and put together. I have a better understanding of how to make sentences flow

from topic to topic and can better formulate my words. Previously when I was writing the essay I

rushed through the last two paragraphs which in turn made my writing look sloppier. Being able

to go back and edit what I did has allowed me to actually appreciate what I wrote now that I took

my time on it.

2nd Paragraph:

My freshman year I struggled with being able to put my thoughts into words and make it

make sense. Now that I have a better understanding of how to write, I earn way higher scores

than my freshman year. I know how to formulate my thoughts into paragraphs that truly make

sense to those who read it. Another thing that I remember struggling with was giving what I was

working on all my effort. I wasn’t a big fan of writing then so I would always put minimal effort

into my work. Over the couple of years, I learned to give writing more of my effort and time. I

no longer give half my effort but rather try and give it my all.