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SILLY SQUIRREL
1. Jodi
2. Cain
3. Jodi
4. Cain
5. Jodi
6. Cain
7. Jodi
Epilogue
J odi must have forgotten her coat in the rush of getting over to the
station. There’s no way that white lab coat of hers along with her
wide-legged slacks and silky blouse are keeping her warm. Her
cheeks have a youthful blush to them, no doubt bitten by the chill of
the wind, and her raven dark hair is cut short just tickling the edge
of her chin. Before Franklin passed it was long and always pulled up
in a tangle on the crest of her head. But the short hair suits her,
showing off her long neck.
Kissable neck.
Which is something I need to not be thinking.
She returns my smile and folds her arms over her chest, too
stubborn to shiver even as I can see the goose pimples rise across
the skin visible below the hollow of her throat. I could think of a
number of ways of warming her up and nearly all of them are not
PG enough with Kolter around.
“What’d he do, Cain?” she asks with a little clip in her voice.
“Let’s talk inside,” I motion my hat covered head with the invite. I
hold the door open for them both and bite my lip as I glimpse the
pleasant roundness of her ass through her work clothes as she
passes by.
Once we’re in the warm confines of the lobby, I remember where
I am and get my ranger hat firmly secured on my head. “Coffee,
tea?”
“I’m fine, thanks.” She ruffles Kolter’s hair subconsciously as she
waits for my delivery of bad news.
“It isn’t the end of the world, Jodi. Just a concern,” I begin,
trying to keep a smile on my face. Kolter’s not a bad kid, he’s just
tackling some boundary issues. I see it often and I know she’s doing
a great job.
“It’s not like anyone got bit,” Kolter scoffs and scuffs a tennis
shoe across the linoleum floor.
“You’ll get your turn. Let Ranger Stroll talk,” Jodi reprimands and
Kolter rolls his eyes.
“He’s been feeding the wildlife, which isn’t against any laws but
when it comes to leaving out raw meat—”
“Kolter Franklin Duggy! You did not take the steaks I had for
dinner out!” Jodi hisses in surprise and fury.
Kolter flinches at the full reveal of his name and the gravity of his
situation sits in.
“It’s not like an actual mountain lion showed up,” he tries to
excuse. “Would have been cool if one did.”
Jodi rocks her head back and when her gaze comes back to
Kolter, I see a mother’s love combined with a mother’s frustration in
them. “It doesn't matter, honey. Not only is dinner gone but you
could have seriously been hurt.” She crouches to his level as she
speaks.
The boy will be tall one day, Jodi’s a few inches shorter than me
and I recall Franklin towering over me. And with her height comes a
wonderful curviness that my head keeps getting stuck on like a
record on a record player skipping.
“He was also feeding rabbits and squirrels...in…his…hands,” I
slowly deliver and much quieter.
Jodi’s eyes light up and she snatches the sketchbook from Kolter,
then quickly grabs his hands and turns them over and backward,
looking for bites in much the same way I had when I found him.
He’s the male equivalent of Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping
Beauty when it comes to attracting wildlife, but now one’s going to
sing about this one. It’s just too dangerous.
“Not a scratch on him. Um…the animals seem to like him.”
“Kolter, you’re going to be the death of me,” she adds a swear
under her breath. “We will talk about this when we get home.”
“I’m concerned about rabies,” I address Jodi directly. “And then
the carnivores or even snakes if he’s tempting them with meat.”
“Bears too!” The boy pipes up, and unfortunately, he just isn’t
helping his case.
“Go sit down,” she points to an old, ratty cushioned chair by the
vending machine, and he stalks off, grumpily.
“You don’t understand. I just want to be a—”
“I said go. We’ll talk about this at home. If Ranger Stroll will let
you go.”
“Oh, he’s free to go. As long as he promises to stop the wildlife
food fest.”
“Thank you, Cain.” She swivels to face me, now flushed with the
care and exasperation only a mother could manage. “I can assure
you that he will not be feeding wild animals anymore.” She says it
loud enough that Kolter huffs.
“Fine. I won’t do it again,” he mumbles.
Shamefully, I have more thoughts on how flushed I could get her,
how her cheeks might turn red and her eyes roll back if I had my
way. She surely could use some relaxing after working all day and
being a single mother has got to take a toll.
“Just doing my job.” I go the humble route rather than speak the
racy thoughts I’m currently thinking.
There’s an unwritten rule of the rangerhood. Don’t covet another
ranger’s partner. But Franklin’s been gone…how long is it now? Two
years…no three…almost four. Is it okay now? Will it ever be proper
to make my move? Plus, how do you make a move on a widow
when she has a human shadow at her side?
You follow your gut. Just like you always do.
“Still, it’s very appreciated, Cain. It’s hard with work. He’s old
enough to almost mind himself but not enough to keep out of
trouble it seems. Most of the boys in town go home and play video
games, and I’m thankful he’s not into that. But to hear what he’s
into…” She huffs and runs her fingers through her hair and I
sympathize with a smile. “Well, I think I’m going to have get
someone to watch him.”
“I don’t need a babysitter!”
“Hey, buddy. She said ‘think’. That means there’s room for
understanding. But your mom gets to do what she thinks is right for
you first and foremost. Don’t go proving that you need one with call-
outs like that.”
“Okay…” he sulks back in the seat. “I just like animals.”
“I like them, too. But a safe distance is important.”
“I know. But this one…it had a hurt leg and I just wanted to help
it.”
Her eyes soften. “He has his father’s heart, cares a lot.”
“Not a bad trait.” I swallow down those questions that ramble
along like a tumbleweed in my head. “Did I hear right that your
dinner was ruined?” I wouldn’t call this a move other than a kind
gesture. “I’m about to head home myself. Not a chef, but I have a
big pot of stew ready to go back on the stove, got more than
enough for all of us if you two would like to join me.”
Jodi’s warmed up from the cold by now being inside the station,
and the reddening of her cheeks is clearly from my offer. I’m proud
of the blush I bring out of her. I think it means something.
“I hate to impose, Cain.” She nibbles on her bottom lip, truly
contemplating my offer. Knowing that the grocer twenty minutes
away is closing in ten minutes…
So close to the chance I’ve been wanting I push, reaching out to
rest my hand on her shoulder, a gentle encouraging touch. “I insist.
Let me help.”
3
JODI
S ome men might not like conversations like this — reminiscing about
old flames. But I’m not so insecure to know when something is
important to remember. Not to mention Franklin isn’t just some ex-
boyfriend or random one-night hook up. He’s a husband who
passed. He still demands and earns my respect. Even more so
having lost his life in duty.
So I sit and listen to her talk about Kolter’s father. She needs to
remember and get a handle on her past so hopefully…she might
have a future.
With me.
“Wow, I’m sorry. I don’t usually go on like that,” Jodi runs her
free hand through her hair, brushing back the dark hair from her
face and uncovering her beautiful cheekbones, soft and rounded.
I give her hand a small squeeze. “Don’t apologize.”
Her eyes shift from grey to silver as they light up. “I don’t get to
talk like this. Or rather, I usually keep to myself.”
“How come?”
“It’s been years. No one wants to hear the widow whine and
drone on and on.”
“Says who? Jodi, doesn’t matter how long ago Franklin’s death
was. People are a part of our lives forever. They share a tattoo of
themselves on our hearts, and like the real thing, it’s permanent. We
just have to find room for new tattoos.”
“That’s really sweet,” she softly remarks.
“I lost my parents when I was a teenager. Went and lived with
my grandparents after. It’s something my grandma always told me
and it still rings true to me.”
She squeeze my hand the care zings through my body. We have
a lot in common. We share the pain that we both hope no one
knows. “Oh, my…I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. Yours couldn’t have been easy, too. I’m sorry you’ve
had to face so much alone.” I bring her knuckles to my lips and place
a light kiss. Her hands are so soft, surprising for a woman who lives
in the damn near middle of nowhere. What else is soft to the
touch…your heart…your thighs. I lean closer to her. “Life isn’t fair
sometimes, but maybe the Universe has a different plan for both of
us.”
My stomach rocks with a long wave of something I’ll equate to
hope, but mostly hope it’s not food poisoning. As much as I love to
cook, my skills are an emerging talent, not perfected.
We sit in silence. My fingers stroke her hand then her wrist and
climb up slowly her arm. It’s all soft and smooth, until the
goosebumps rise up and the coolness of her skin warms under my
fingers. I stand up and position myself behind her.
“What are you…oooh,” she groans, biting her lip as my hands
knead into her shoulders. Her eyes flutter shut, and she melts into
my touch. “You don’t need to do that,” she politely tells me, but she
doesn’t stop me nor does she move an inch other than to slacken
further in her chair.
If this is what just rubbing her shoulders does, what else can
make Jodi purr for me?
I grin, as my lips touch the tip of her ear, whispering, “But I need
to do it.”
Her ear turns warm and red against my lips as I risk nipping it
playfully. A primal need rocks through me. I’ve always been
restrained, holding back, being polite...probably how I missed out on
impressing Sable Clemons and many a high school sweetheart. With
Jodi, it’s as though I can’t hold back, and I don’t want to in the
slightest.
My hands crawl up from her shoulders to the back of neck. The
burning ache to do something, anything, overwhelms me. I palm the
back of her head and fist her cute black bob of hair and tilt her head
back to face me.
She gasps and I capture her surprise with my mouth. I kiss her
with all the ferocity I didn’t even know I held in me. To my delight
she responds, lips working with mine and tongue sliding across
mine. My whole body shudders and I’m consumed with a kiss.
I look to the living room and see Kolter passed out on the couch.
An afternoon of communing with his creatures took it out of him.
And probably getting caught.
Although Mrs. Hollins could stand to look the other way
occasionally, this time, I’m thankful she didn’t.
I kneel down beside her to trail my lips in kisses to her throat. I
nip and lick there, conscious enough to try to not leave any trail of
my efforts on the grown woman. Her dulcet moans make my cock
throb and her soft hands grip my shoulders, not pushing me away
but pulling me closer to her.
Grasping her face, I pull her from her chair on top of me and we
collapse onto the kitchen floor.
Jodi giggles and straddles me, enrapturing us both in fervent
kisses. I could die happily here on this floor with this beautiful
woman on top of me. But from my hard length felt by both of us,
I’m nowhere close to death.
Very alive and kicking.
“Cain,” Jodi half gasps half moans my name as she slides down
my length.
I want nothing more than to hear her scream the syllables to the
world while rocked with pleasure. And I have half a mind to make
her scream my name now, here in my kitchen, but when a noise
sounds from the other room, we both go still.
Shit.
“Mom?” Kolter’s voice is sleepy and rightfully curious. “Where…
are you?”
Jodi cusses softly and climbs off me, popping her head up.
Thankfully the tablecloth had been hiding us, but there’s no hiding
some of what happened behind here. I curl into the fetal position
just in case he rounds the table.
“Hey baby,” she coos, quickly moving away.
“What are you doing?” he asks, yawning widely.
I close my eyes tightly, willing my boner to nonexistence, even as
I gaze up at the blushing and disheveled appearance of Jodi and I
fight a reemergence. She’s gorgeous and glowing. She wasn’t
glowing like this earlier. I think every non-sexual thing I can.
Two hundred seventy divided by sixteen, drop the two down…
She looks down at me and smiles sheepishly, offering a wink as
she answers. “I was helping Ranger Stroll with his floor. You know
how I love fixing up a house.”
“What’s wrong with the floor?” Kolter looks around.
“Just some dirt. I was showing him a good way to clean it and
make it look like new.”
I realize I should be getting up, but I stay laying on the floor,
absentmindedly stroking her calf and lusting after this woman in full
mother-recovery mode.
“I’m tired. Can we go home?” he asks, yawning again.
“Oh sweetheart, of course. Mommy lost track of time.” She
squeaks a little as I sit up, still hiding behind the table and kiss the
back of her clothed thighs. She stops breathing and I grin and nuzzle
higher and higher. “Ummm. Kolt…er,” she struggles to speak
coherently. “Kolter, go pack your bag, make sure you have all your
pencils and head to the car, and I’ll be right there,” she rushes.
I wait to hear him leave the house to yank her back into her
seat.
“What are you doing?” she hisses, flushed as a candy red hot.
I offer her a wicked grin. “I have to be quick.”
“Quick?” Her eyebrows shoot up as I plunge my hand down her
slacks. She gasps as my fingers find the sweet spot. The confusion
shifts to yearning and she nods. “Yes, quick, please. Oh, God,
please.”
She’s soaking wet, so easily riled up from even our mild tryst on
the floor. I relish in the heat and wetness as I press my palm into
her clit and tease her entrance with my long fingers. Jodi bucks into
my hand and clings to my shoulders.
“Oh, fuck…”
Her silver eyes close, taking in the moment. I’m only watching
and enjoying having my way with her desirable body.
I plunge my fingers in and moan in unison with her. Hot and
perfect, I want her around my throbbing erection. But another time.
This time is for her, she needs this more than me. She needs to feel
again. To know she’s wanted. To know she’s ready.
“I’m so close,” she whispers, kissing me as I drive her closer and
closer.
“Then come for me Jodi,” I egg her on, biting her shoulder
playfully.
“Fuck,” she groans lowly, grinding into my palm and her legs
grow tense.
Her whole body riddles with electricity as the brink breaks her
tension. She shudders and collapses in the chair, panting and
glowing brighter than the sun.
Pulling my hand free, I bring it to my lips, licking them clean and
smirking. “I think you needed that.”
“How…and why…” She tries to gather herself, physically and
mentally. “I can’t even see straight.”
I chuckle. “Then I’ve done my job.”
Jodi stands on shaky legs before straightening up and going from
rocked sex-kitten world to diligent mom mode in seconds. Her ability
to focus is sexy and I imagine taking her camping in the woods,
where she could go from a puddled mess to an attentive one woman
in the wilderness. The release of nature in nature.
“Thank you?” she adds with an uptick of her voice at the end,
unsure how to react post orgasm.
“My pleasure,” I stand up, wash my hands, and return to her to
give her a gingerly kiss on the lips. “I’d like to see you again, on a
real date.”
She’s hesitant but nods slowly. “I’ll think about it.”
“And I’ll be thinking about you.”
She wrangles on her coat and grabs their things.
We find Kolter sitting in the car, asleep.
“Do you need me to follow you and carry him inside your place?”
“Nah, he’ll wake up enough to shuffle to his room.”
“Thank you for dinner, and for looking out for Kolter. He’s a good
kid, I promise.”
“I know he is. He takes after his mom.” The air is crisp and the
warmth we shared is leaving our bodies quickly. “And Jodi…I meant
it, I want to see you again for a proper date. I’ve already impressed
you twice.”
“Oh, have you?” she taunts.
I lean down to her ear. “The scent of you on my fingers and my
food in your belly tells me I did.” She bites her lip and nods. “Call
me.” I leave no room for misunderstanding.
She nods again.
As she drives away, it’s as if my heart is leaving with her.
But as sure as the sunrises, that woman is mine.
All mine.
5
JODI
O ver the weekend , I scarcely think of anything else but C ain S troll .
His kindness to Kolter, his divine cooking skills, and then further
proof to just how skillful his hands are…
I inhale slowly and clear my thoughts, sitting out on our lawn as
I try to meditate in the cool spring air waiting for Kolter’s friend
Dixon to show up to take him for a sleepover. I’m bundled up while
Kolter runs around the yard, doing God only knows what his
imagination inspires him to do.
The yoga mat beneath me feels too thin, like the blades of the
grass might penetrate it and my leggings and thus my skin and
burrow deep. Deep into me just like how Cain got under my skin. I
keep my internal cussing to myself to protect Kolter’s ears.
Is it so bad to be so drawn to Cain? Why am I giving myself such
a hard time for it? It’s been almost four years, isn’t that long
enough? But more importantly, am I just lonely or do I really like
Cain? I have too much on the line to have flings with the eligible
bachelors around the mountain. That’d really get some looks from
Mrs. Hollins.
“Speak of the devil,” I grumble as a dark green truck pulls up.
Though a part of me instantly responds with a bodyquake at the
sight, and as much turmoil as he’s giving me emotionally, I’m
delighted to see him. Genuinely and completely pleased.
“Howdy,” he greets, agile as he hops our picket fence into the
yard.
“Good afternoon, Ranger,” I respond coolly, hoisting myself up to
a sitting position but remaining on my mat. I’m only wearing socks
and prefer to stand on my synthetic island than to get grass stains.
He saves me the trouble and meets me on the edge of the grass,
all smiles. The gesture is infectious, and I return the joyful
expression. There’s an unspoken moment between us, a knowing of
what has happened, and maybe a hope for what might happen.
“Looking lovely as always, Jodi,” he purrs before Kolter bounds
over to us. “Hey kiddo,” Cain greats, ruffling his hair and pulling him
into a side hug.
Kolter scrunches his face and smooths back his hair, correcting it.
I notice a few non-local and shelled nuts fall from his hands as he
does, landing right next to Cain’s feet. Cain takes note too, his
eyebrows peaking like fireworks have been lit inside them.
“Kolter, why do you have people food in your hand?” I ask, semi-
pleased with the distraction from Cain.
“Uh…I…well…” He stumbles for an excuse and I look to a tree to
see not a family but a single squirrel standing at the base on a
protruding root.
“Kolter! Stop feeding the squirrels! You’re going to get bit!” I huff,
closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose.
“I did stop! Sort of,” he mumbles. “All of them but one. His
name’s Franky and he’s fat and happy because I feed him,” Kolter
explains rapidly, taking honesty rather than an excuse route.
Cain crouches to his eye level and picks up the stray nuts. “You’re
a sweet kid, Kolter. But it’s more than just a danger to you to feed
the animals but them as well. They become reliant on us for their
food source, they forget how to hunt and gather because they can
just come to you. It’s how domestication of dogs and cats started.
We don’t want to domesticate squirrels. They’re wild—”
The look on Cain's face twists suddenly. His blue eyes widen with
surprise, and he yelps, jumping up.
“Holy shit!”
Kolter face breaks into a grin and quickly he’s laughing, and I feel
I’ve missed the joke. Cain dances around sporadically, shaking his
legs and shedding layers, including his belt.
“What the hell are you doing?!” I clasp my hand over Kolter’s
eyes as Cain strips off his pants, running away from them like he’s
been possessed by some forest spirit.
Then I see Franky, the fat and ultimately so happy of a squirrel,
popping its head up from the inside the pant leg of Cain’s quickly
shedded uniform. It chirps and snatches a nut in the clothes pile,
feeding itself.
Free of the intruder in his pants, Cain returns.
Kolter runs off towards the discarded clothes, to find the silly
squirrel that caused the ruckus.
Cain pants a red flush cover his upper half and his lower half only
hidden by boxer briefs. “Sorry, but I couldn’t risk my own nuts for
public decency.”
It must have been in shock but it’s only as he walks up to us, half
in uniform, that I burst out laughing. I laugh till I shed tears like he
shed his clothes. The utmost shedding of emotion is overwhelming
and relieving. Any tension in my body or apprehension of seeing him
again gone.
“Kolter,” I gasp through stifled giggles. “Don’t get bit!”
He shouts something affirming back and I wipe the hysterical
tears from my eyes.
“I should’ve found a career in entertainment it would seem,” Cain
jokes.
I nod in agreement, finally catching my breath. “Are you cold?”
“It’s a bit brisk without pants.” I lead him inside, off the porch
and into my kitchen. We can see Kolter through the large bay
windows chasing his squirrel and waving around the ranger’s pants
like the flag on the moon.
Cain accepts my offering of warm coffee and takes me in as he
sips the dark and hot liquid. His gaze feels like the grass, tickling me
despite my layer of clothes. I fidget, playing with the hem of my
work-out wear, the leggings complimented by a crop-top that I
normally don’t wear in public and soft heather blue sweatshirt-
material sweater, dropping off one shoulder. I blush under his
roaming stare and clear my throat to initiate conversation.
“So, I thought I’d stop in since we haven’t spoken in a couple
days.” Bless him for starting the conversation, even if it’s one I want
to avoid.
He’s been on my mind since but the actual ability to act on my
thoughts was always met with a barrier. I couldn’t call him, text him,
see him...not when it felt like I was being selfish. He lets the silence
linger, and I’m just about ready to find words when I see a black
SUV pull up outside.
“If you can wait just a minute, Kolter’s going to Dixon Bradley’s
for the night.”
His eyes widen and a cocky smirk settles to one side.
Don’t get ahead of yourself, Ranger.
“I have all the time in the world for you, Jodi.”
I make my way outside, grabbing Cain’s pants and rolling them
into a tiny ball shoved under my arm. Kolter and Dixon play in the
yard, spinning and spinning until they fall down into a pile of leaves
he raked this morning. He is a good boy. He’s part of the reason why
I worry about being selfish. I already work full time, if I try to date,
how much more time do I take away from him? Or...does he benefit
with a father figure like Cain?
Does Cain even want to be a father figure?
I explain Kolter’s fascination with four-legged friends and Mrs.
Bradley chuckles and says it’s a phase that Dixon explored too. It’s
both good to know we’re in the same boat, and yet I feel like
commiserating with her. She pats my shoulder and reassures me
that I’m doing everything right. And this is what parenting is, not
knowing if you’re doing right or wrong, but hoping the right
outweighs the wrong by a large margin. We try to listen to our
brains, but we often have to allow our steadfast hearts to lead the
way.
I give Kolter a kiss on his forehead and in a minute the SUV pulls
away, my heart beats in a different way looking back toward the
house.
Inside is a man who I can’t stop thinking about. And now I don’t
have to think. I can see. More of him than I thought I would, but
still…he’s here.
Inside, I throw his pants back at him and walk into the kitchen to
grab a glass of water, suddenly parched seeing those tight, sinewy
muscled thighs in all their glory. But he doesn’t put the pants back
on. It’s like he’s daring me. Tempting me. There’s a wild look in his
eyes. Something I don’t ever remember seeing before.
“Dinner was lovely,” I start innocently.
Cain snorts a laugh and sets his cup of coffee down. He crosses
the room in four sure steps and his giant hands find my hips and he
pulls me in sharply to meet his body. Despite the chill of his bare
legs, he’s solid and warm, and I could fall into him for hours.
“Just dinner? Did you forget about dessert?” His question makes
my ears burn. He nips the red tip and whispers further in my ear. “I
can give you seconds, if you like.”
I’m brought back to focus on him as he kisses the hollow of my
throat, the tip of his nose cold against my flesh while his mouth is
hot from the coffee.
“Cain,” I moan softly.
“Jodi,” he purrs against my skin.
“Did you mean it? A real date?”
He pulls back to search my face and smiles, cupping my cheek.
“Of course. Can I keep you up late since it isn’t a school night?”
I swat his arm playfully and nod. “Ranger Stroll, you’re going to
get me in trouble with the principal.”
“I’d gladly sit in detention with you, Jodi.”
My heart beats like a 100-piece drum corp is inside. It’s both
deafening and thrilling.
“Dinner. Tonight. At six.” He leaves no room for disagreement,
and I shiver at his take-charge ways.
I nod and he swoops in to steal a kiss.
I close my eyes and relax into him. Without my realizing a simple
kiss turns feverish, with roaming hands and laborious panting. I
moan his name and I feel his erection press into my stomach.
“Here in the kitchen. Now.” The words pour out before I can stop
myself before I can overthink my way out of the moment.
Cain breaks away from me, surprise giving way to eagerness. He
spins me and presses me into the kitchen counter. I kick off my
leggings with his assistance and he pulls out his glorious cock. I get
a glimpse over my shoulder at its heated length and in a moment, I
feel the broad girth. My body blooms with ache and need like never
before... and I fight thinking about how this might feel as good, if
not better than it ever did with Franklin. I won’t sully his memory
that way, but in the recesses, I know that this is different.
My shoulders roll back and I clutch at the bundles of my sweater
pooling on the counter with my breasts.
Cain swears and praises all in one string of incoherent ramblings
as he fills me. He grips my hips tightly and kisses the back of my
neck.
“Jodi,” he groans. “You’re so beautiful. And so damn hot.” He
plunges in and out of me, filling me to the brim before leaving me
nearly empty to repeat the process.
My hot cheek presses to the cool counter to find relief as I fear I
might combust from the friction and chemistry between us.
He pauses, balls deep in me as he growls, “I’m close, sweetheart.
Tell me where you are.”
“Close,” I moan the word as I squirm, pushing my ass back into
him. “Don’t stop. Please, I need this.” Just how I had needed the
sweet release he’d given me after dinner.
The man knows what I need and he’s here for me. It’s both
freeing and scary.
He delivers hard impactful thrusts. My knees buckle but his keeps
me pinned there. I cry out his name, biting down as I fall over the
edge into a pile of molten female. And a few rapid thrusts later, he
plants deep and grunts through his own release.
We pant and slowly pull ourselves together. Warm bodies and
fast breaths settling into a more normal range.
Cain kisses my forehead and then finds my lips, pressing our
sweaty brows together. “I should get my pants.”
I laugh. “Yeah, a ranger without those might just get himself
arrested.”
“I don’t think Ranger Blevins would like that. I’ll see you at six.
Evelyn’s Eatery in town.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Later, sweetheart.”
But as he kisses me a final good-bye peck, cold feet settle into
my warm body.
I’m finally back to me, but I’m not sure I can make it back to a
we…
6
CAIN
T he agony probably would have been a lot less if I’ d just taken him up
on the date. I feel two folds guilty now. One round for the kitchen
festivities, and another for now skipping out on the date. How the
hell am I supposed to be giving Kolter his bright future if I let myself
be consumed by Cain every time I’m in his larger-than-life presence?
I groan and pop my head against a kitchen cabinet, trying to
think of what to make for dinner. There’s nuggets in the freezer and
I have an itching to go the easy route. Maybe pizza...but that would
require a trip to the grocery store and I couldn’t bring myself to
leave the house.
And I could run into him…
I walk to the table observing the drawing of a man and a squirrel
in his sketchbook. The man’s face is eerily familiar. Not Franklin’s.
Not Deryn’s.
My stomach plummets.
I know who he’s drawing. His two favorite people. Well, I’m
hoping besides me.
I remember how he was talking to him about his drawings and
Kolter couldn’t stop telling me about the animals Cain meets, stories
of close calls and adventure that made Kolter’s eyes widen. And then
I remember back to when Cain and Deryn came over and played
football with him.
Tears well up in my eyes and I stare up at the ceiling, trying to
blink them away.
Franklin, what do I do?
There’s a knock at the door, interrupting my silent pleading.
My heart pounds against my ribcage. I walk slowly to the door,
hope in every step.
“Hey…” I say as I open the door and stare into the blue eyes that
dance in the moonlight.
I smooth out my ratty t-shirt, and fidget in the old sweats I wear.
The sweater dress I’d planned to wear to dinner hanging up on the
back of my door in the bedroom. I shake out my hair, imagining the
mess I look.
“Jodi,” he greets me with warmth in his voice, not anger or
disappointment as I expected to hear the next time I see him.
“Dinner is served.” He passes by me and heads straight to the table,
pulling out containers of food from his bag.
“That was nice of you...but you didn’t have to,” I whisper softly,
directing my attention to the man dressed for a date.
He looks so damn good, the way the sleeves show off his strong
forearms and the jeans cling to his upper thighs. His hair sits
perfectly quaffed.
“I figured you would be hungry. I know I am.”
I hesitate but nod, more nervous than if we’d gone on the date.
“How did you know?” I look down at the feast that includes a
meal for Kolter that I can reheat tomorrow, giving me a moment
away from the stove.
“Mrs. Hollins.”
I roll my eyes.
He continues, “Eh, she grows on you.”
“Like fungus on a dead tree,” I mumble and he chuckles while
sitting down.
I take a seat next to him and enjoy my own chicken and waffle,
and Cain helps himself to a Philly cheesesteak. We eat…and it’s like
we’re already a…no, I won’t say it.
Half way into a bite, I can’t fight back the sobs anymore. “I’m
sorry, Cain.”
“Oh shit…I’ve pushed too far. Mrs. Hollins said this might
happen.” Cain nuzzles my ear, his thumb brushing the tears aside. “I
promise, I’ll back off, Jodi.”
“No, no. I mean, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t...I should have…” I try
to find an excuse, a reason, anything to tell him about standing him
up. “I wanted to meet you, but I got…” My chest hiccups. All the
pain of four years alone winds its way out of me.
He hushes me and finds my trembling lips. He kisses me tenderly
and smiles. “Scared?”
I nod.
He continues. “Don’t be sorry, Jodi. I’ve got tough skin...I once
tried to ask out Dr. Clemens.”
I laugh at that and agree with him, “Whoa, that’s like going up
against Medusa herself.”
I don’t disagree. “But she and Deryn seem happy, and I think
that’s what’s important. At least I do know. Deryn needed someone
to show him happiness just like I think you do.”
“What are you saying?” I ask.
He cradles me against him, stroking my hair. I might fall apart if
he didn’t hold me so.
“I’m saying I’d like to show you some happiness, Jodi. I’d like to
show you...some love. Hell, all my love. I’m practically drowning in
my feelings for you.”
I shudder at his admission and bite my lip. “Love?”
“Love, admiration, affection, whatever name you want to give it,
I’m giving everything…my all… to you.” He takes my hand into his
and licks syrup from my thumb, his blue eyes pouring into mine.
“Let me love you, Jodi?”
But this time he’s asking. He’s asking for permission to be the
most—okay, second most—important person in my life.
“Okay,” the agreement rattles out of me. Trembling, I lean into
him and kiss those soft lips. “But only if you’re okay with me
relearning this whole love thing.”
“I think you have more love in you than you know.”
“And Kolter?” I ask, making sure he’s on board that we’re a
package deal.
“Think I need to lose the abs and get a dad bod?”
We laugh in the kitchen together and I silently thank Franklin,
like an angel watching over us, for his answer to my prayers.
“Let me try them out a little longer before we make drastic
decisions,” I tease, lifting his shirt and teasing along the muscular
mounds.
“I know there’s a whole lot I want to try with you, Jodi.”
The tears free falling still, but they’re happy tears. The best kind.
I got in trouble, but this mountain man has found his way into
my heart to free me from my worries and guide us into our futures.
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kumma kulkija kylältä, mies kapea, kaksijalka, tassut kaikki
taata pitkät!"
1897.
Hymyilevä Apollo
Hymni (1898.)
I.
Höyhensaaret.
Laulu metsästä.
Aurinkolaulu.
Mitä siitä, jos ei sua lemmi hän, sa jolle lempesi annoit! Hän
antoihan sulle elämän, ja kuvaa sa kaunista kannoit. Ja
vaikka hän vaatisi elosi taas, niin kulkeos riemulla kuolemaas
ja julista virsillä Jumalaa, kun kaunis niin oli maa!