Climate change is already killing us” Discuss the statement and give your opinion.

Since the 19th century, the impending crisis of climate change has been on the horizon.
However, today, it has transformed from a distant threat to an imminent danger. Climate
change is primarily caused by the burning of fossil fuels, deforestation and greenhouse
gasses. Together, they wreak havoc on human lives by initiating air pollution, global
temperature change, rising sea levels and other devastating issues. Against this backdrop, it
is believed that climate change is already claiming lives. This essay will discuss the given
statement before giving my personal perspective on this matter. To commence, climate
change is killing us with the disastrous impacts of air pollution. Emissions, the underlying
cause of polluted air, consist of many lethal compounds such as nitrogen oxide, carbon
dioxide, methane. The widespread presence of these invisible killers in the air is responsible
for over 7 millions deaths each year. Most vulnerable, unsurprisingly, are children. Studies
show that as pregnant women inhale toxic air, pollutants can get across the placenta,
resulting in higher rate of preterm birth and low birth weight. Additionally, as children grow up
in poor air quality, they absorb more pollutants, whose accumulation over time can hinder
their cognitive development and expose them to a higher risk of behavioral disorders and
pneumonia. Alarmingly, 600,000 lives of children under five are taken each year, mainly
related to pneumonia. For adults, they are facing numerous respiratory and circulatory
diseases, along with quickened cognitive decline resulting from regular exposure to air
pollution. Moreover, loss of lives caused by climate change is evident considering the fatal
effects of global temperature rise. The increase in humidity and temperature provide a fertile
ground for more frequent and intense heat waves to develop, which makes people more
susceptible to dehydration, heatstroke, heat cramps and even depression. This year, France
registered nearly 400 excess deaths during the August heat wave, while emergency room
visits for mental health issues across age groups are reported to rise along with the
temperature. However, temperature rise also paves the way for the spreading of
communicable disease. More rainfall and higher temperature create an ideal environment for
deadly insects such as mosquitoes to expand their breeding ground. This expansion can
help them transmit more vector-borne diseases, resulting in more cases of malaria, dengue
fever and West Nile virus, thus putting people’ lives at stake. The year 2022 alone witnessed
over 608 000 malaria deaths worldwide, underscoring the alarming impacts of these trends.
In my opinion, as the deadly impacts of climate change on human’s health is pervasive and
evident, the urgency to address it is now more pronounced than ever. Effectively mitigating
these problems necessitates concerted effort at individual, societal and global levels as
these challenges transcend geographical and socio-economic boundaries. Furthermore,
substantial resources should be allocated to health infrastructure and services to lessen the
potential impacts of climate change on human wellbeing. In conclusion, climate change has
taken its toll on people in myriad ways. While air pollution disproportionately affects people
of all ages, rising temperature brings a plethora of disasters and diseases with its high heat.
Since its consequences are far-reaching and unpredictable, collaborative efforts at all levels,
coupled with strategic investments into healthcare sectors are needed to put an end to this
unfolding crisis.

Task Response
Band Score for Task Response: 8

● Answer All Parts of the Question:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the

question. It discusses the statement that "Climate change is already killing us"
and provides the writer's opinion on the matter.
 ● Present a Clear Position Throughout:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position

throughout. The writer believes that climate change is indeed causing loss of
life and provides comprehensive evidence to support this stance.

● Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas

effectively. It provides detailed examples and statistics to illustrate the
impacts of climate change on human health, such as the effects of air
pollution and rising temperatures.

● Stay on Topic:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout. It

discusses various ways in which climate change affects human lives, such as
air pollution and temperature rise, and does not deviate from the main theme.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of the task response criteria. It effectively
addresses the prompt, maintains a clear position, presents well-extended ideas with ample
support, and stays on topic. The writer's opinion is well-supported by evidence, making a
compelling case for the statement that climate change is already causing harm to human
lives. To further enhance the essay, the writer could consider incorporating a
counterargument and refutation for a more well-rounded discussion. Additionally, a concise
summary in the conclusion could reinforce the main points made in the essay. Nonetheless,
the essay is highly proficient in addressing the task response criteria and provides a
thorough response to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

● Organize Information Logically:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay is generally well-organized. It begins with a

clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs that discuss the impacts of
climate change on human lives due to air pollution and rising temperatures. It
concludes with a concise summary. The logical progression of ideas is
evident.

● Use Paragraphs:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate

different points and ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the
topic, such as air pollution or rising temperatures, making it easier for the
reader to follow the argument.

○ How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each

paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point of
that paragraph. This will provide even greater clarity and coherence.

● Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

 ○ Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices reasonably well.
It uses transitional phrases like "To commence," "Moreover," and "In my
opinion" to connect ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, the repetition of
words like "climate change" and "human lives" helps maintain cohesion.

○ How to improve: To enhance cohesion, try to diversify the range of cohesive

devices used. Incorporate a variety of transition words and phrases to make
the connections between ideas even clearer. Additionally, be cautious not to
overuse certain words or phrases, as excessive repetition can hinder
cohesion.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion. The logical
organization of ideas, effective use of paragraphs, and reasonable use of cohesive devices
contribute to a well-structured and easily comprehensible essay. To further improve,
consider implementing the suggested enhancements to transition sentences and vocabulary
diversity.

Lexical Resource
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

● Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of

vocabulary throughout. It effectively uses diverse words and phrases to
convey ideas, from describing the causes and effects of climate change to
discussing its impacts on health.

○ How to improve: While the essay already excels in this aspect, maintaining
this level of vocabulary diversity in future essays will continue to enhance the
lexical resource.

● Use Vocabulary Precisely:

○ Detailed explanation: The vocabulary usage in the essay is precise and apt
in most instances. For example, terms like "lethal compounds," "vector-borne
diseases," and "conducive environment" are used accurately. However, there
are a few places where vocabulary could be even more precise. For instance,
instead of "a fertile ground for more frequent and intense heat waves," you
could use "a conducive environment for the proliferation of frequent and
severe heatwaves."

○ How to improve: Continue striving for precision in word choice, especially in

areas where complex scientific or technical concepts are discussed.
Proofread carefully to ensure the most suitable vocabulary is employed in
every context.

● Use Correct Spelling:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of spelling accuracy

with very few errors. The words are consistently spelled correctly, reflecting
good attention to detail.
 ○ How to improve: Keep up the good work by proofreading carefully and
utilizing spelling and grammar check tools to catch any minor errors that
might occasionally slip through.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, showcasing a wide range
of words and phrases used with precision. To further improve, continue honing the precision
of word choices and maintaining impeccable spelling accuracy. These efforts will help
consistently achieve a high score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

● Use a Wide Range of Structures:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of

grammatical structures. It effectively utilizes complex sentences, compound
sentences, and various subordinate clauses to convey ideas and arguments.
The use of rhetorical devices, such as parallelism, enhances the overall
structure of the essay, making it engaging and clear. For example, "The
increase in humidity and temperature provide a fertile ground for more
frequent and intense heat waves to develop, which makes people more
susceptible to dehydration, heatstroke, heat cramps and even depression"
showcases a complex sentence structure.

○ How to improve: While the essay is already strong in this aspect, continued
emphasis on sentence variety and complexity can further elevate the quality
of writing. Consider experimenting with different sentence structures to
maintain reader engagement.

● Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

○ Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical

accuracy. Sentences are well-structured, and subject-verb agreement is
consistently maintained. Punctuation, including commas, periods, and
semicolons, is used effectively to guide the reader and clarify meaning. For
instance, "This year, France registered nearly 400 excess deaths during the
August heat wave, while emergency room visits for mental health issues
across age groups are reported to rise along with the temperature"
showcases accurate punctuation and grammar usage.

○ How to improve: The essay's grammar and punctuation are already strong.
However, always proofread carefully to catch minor errors or typos that might
have been missed. Additionally, consider using colons or dashes for added
clarity in certain complex sentences.

Overall, this essay demonstrates an excellent command of grammatical range and accuracy.
The writer effectively utilizes a wide range of sentence structures and maintains a high level
of grammatical precision throughout the essay. Further improvement in this area is minimal,
as the essay already excels in these aspects.