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12 Types Of People You’ll

Find In Every Hostel
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 July 25, 2013 By Tim Urban
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When some people travel, their accommodation involves words

like plush, champagne, spa, pamper, terrace, aroma, stunning, SEND ME NEW
marble, spacious, and robe. POSTS

And then there’s you.

Follow these special men
You’re the kind of person who ends up on a site like Wait But Why,
408,687
and your travel is far shittier. 771,601 203,395

You may even be acquainted with the wide world of hostels, a

world that embodies both the human race’s best qualities and its
most annoying. A culture that manages to simultaneously be a
liberal utopia of open-mindedness, acceptance, and diversity—and
a factory of cringiness. If Gandhi mated with the douchiest guy
you went to high school with, their offspring would be hostels.

Hostels are everything the world should be and everything the

world shouldn’t be, all at once.

And while every hostel is unique, the crowd passing through tends
to be more or less the same. We’ll scratch the surface today by
breaking down 12 of the common characters:

1) The Guy Who Plays The

Guitar In The Hostel

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Defining Characteristics: Making serious facial expressions;
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which wasn’t easy. He held it on his lap on the crowded bus. He
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But sitting there on the backrest of the couch, plucking those Colonize
sweet strings, embodying literally the best aesthetic ever—it was Mars
all worth it for The Guy Who Plays The Guitar In The Hostel.  976

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a Life
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 315
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Why You
Defining Characteristics: Down to party; Wrinkles Should Stop
Caring
Length of Their Trip: 2 weeks What Other
People
There are three kinds of guys you’ll find in hostels: Think
 365
1) Dudes (age 19-32)
2) Men (age 33-70) Religion for
3) The 38-year-old who’s gonna just go ahead and pretend he’s still the
a dude and he’d really appreciate it if you would just roll with it
and not say anything about it Nonreligious

Every hostel has one dude who’s a little too old to be acting like a  847
dude. He knows he’s 38, you know he’s 38, and this is just kind of
The Tail End
his move. He doesn’t really care what you think because he’s never
gonna see you again anyway.  316

From

3) The Americans Who Are

Kind of Acting Like It’s The Muhammad to ISIS: Iraq's
Full Story
First Day Of School  328

Follow these special men

408,687 771,601 203,395

Defining Characteristics: Loud; Excited; Eager to say a lot of

words to a lot of people about a lot of things
Length of Their Trip: 8 days

You’ll know them when you see them. They’re young, wide-eyed,
and they’re pretty sure this is everyone’s first backpacking trip, not
just theirs. When they leave the hostel, they head to a restaurant
to be five times louder than the second-loudest table there.

4) The Guy Who Brought Only

Two Changes Of Clothes

Defining Characteristics: Friendly; Wafting

Length of Their Trip: 6 months

Amateur travelers pack a lot. Pro travelers pack light. And then
there’s the guy who brought two changes of clothes.

There are things you may doubt in life, but you’ll never have a
doubt about whether this guy is in the room with you.

5) The “Make You Feel Bad

About Yourself Cause You’re
Not In A Cool Group Of
Friends Like Those People”
People

Defining Characteristics: Laughter; Telling stories about last

night; Having fun plans ahead that night; You’re not invited
Length of Their Trip: 5 Weeks

There they are, having fun, enjoying the shit out of each other, and
all you can do is stare longingly. No, you’re not in the group, and
no, you’re not invited to wherever they’re going next. As you head
up to bed alone, the sounds of their incredibly hilarious drinking
game serve as a reminder of how alone you are in this country,
planet, and universe.

6) The People Who Say Local

Places With The Correct
Accent

Defining Characteristics: Tongue rolls; A straight face as they do

tongue rolls
Length of Their Trip: One month

You’ll find these people all over the world, but nowhere do they
thrive like Latin America. To be clear, they do not visit Buenos
Aires, Argentina, they visit Buenos Aye-des, Adhentina. They won’t
be caught dead in Nicaragua, but love a good visit to Neecadagua.
They top off their act with 0% self-deprecation about pretending
to be foreign. They will look you dead in the eye without a trace of
a smile as the local sounds roll off their tongue.

7) The Lonely Planet All-Stars

Defining Characteristics: Reading their Lonely Planet at all times

Length of Their Trip: 15 days

You know one of these when their Lonely Planet looks like it’s from
1936 even though they bought it a week and a half ago. Their
relationship with the book is intimate, mutual, and all-
encompassing.

8) The Smily European Girl

Who You’d Spend The Rest Of
Your Life With Even Though
You’ve Never Spoken To Her
But She Smiled At You And
Now Your Day Is Ruined

Defining Characteristics: Smily; Day-ruining

Length of Their Trip: 2 months

Let’s move on.

9) The “I’m The Kind Of Guy

Who Knows The People Who
Work At The Hostel” Guy

Defining Characteristics: Calls the staff members by their first

name
Length of Their Trip: 3 months

Just so you know, this guy is in the inner circle at the hostel. He
basically works there—he’ll direct you to the bathroom, correct
your misguided placement of the communal olive oil on the non-
communal rack, and he even helped a staff member bring out the
trash last Thursday, so.

10) The Jaded European Who

Doesn’t Want To Be Your
Friend
Defining Characteristics: Quiet condescension
Length of Their Trip: 4 months

This is her 83rd country, she’s not that impressed by it, and she’s
certainly not that impressed by you. She rolls her left eye at the
Lonely Planet All-Star and her right eye at the over-excited
American.

11) The Obnoxiously Happy

Couple

Defining Characteristics: Being a happy fucking little team

Length of Their Trip: 2 weeks

Well aren’t they cute, with their matching backpacks and their
shared experiences. Oh, and look who has too much chemistry to
sleep in the communal dorm bedroom. These people have little
consideration for any dramatically lonely solo travelers in the
vicinity, just plowing ahead with their public bonding.

12) The Guy Who’s Maybe

Been Traveling A Little Too
Long
Defining Characteristics: Knows the people at the local grocery
store by name; Not that into questions about his life
Length of Their Trip: 2.5 years and counting

He’s adventuring less than he used to, he gave up sightseeing

long ago, and he’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t really ask him
about his job, his life back at home, his relationship with his
parents, or the law in his home country.

For an update on what our friends at the hostel are doing for the
holidays, visit our holiday update.

Related Wait But Why Posts

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 Share Best Newest Oldest

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

I co-managed a hostel in Africa for three years. Guitar playing

a***holes are the worst. Especially if they are white guys with
dreadlocks. And a shark tooth necklace. These people should be
instanttly stabbed.

10 0 Reply ⥅

DB
Denny Babel > Anonymous 9 years ago
− ⚑
Amen to that. They try so hard to cover their a...hole
personality by acting like a hippy with a guitar. By the
way dreadlocks on white people? Talk about identity
 crisis

2 0 Reply ⥅

A
anteater − ⚑
11 years ago

i read this while doing night shift in a hostel. i really wanted to

emit high-pitched noises but then everyone would wake up : (
also, you skipped the creepy guy from azerbaijan who gets kicked
out on day 2 out for groping one of the european backpacker girls,
who, to his surprise, are not as "willing" as they were told back
home.

8 0 Reply ⥅

K
Kevin − ⚑
10 years ago

Brazilians. ALWAYS in groups, NEVER quiet. Most of their

conversations with foreigners are about Brazil and Brazilian
things, and they often where Brazlian shirts.

11 2 Reply ⥅

AA
Aaron Ach − ⚑
10 years ago

"He's adventuring less than he used to...." ... first time in a long
time that I genuinely laughed and I thank you for this.

5 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

how about the loud snorers and the ones who hate them?

5 0 Reply ⥅

Santosa Laksana − ⚑
7 years ago

Hello dear everyone.

I have a hostelry in Indonesia that I think will be appropriate for
you. I don't know, just I believe on that. Please to check it for help
my confidence. This my blog: http://gprosfarmer.blogspot...

7 1 Reply ⥅

SophisticTruth − ⚑
9 years ago

Just remember, for every Smiley European Girl is a European Guy

who had enough of her crap.

America's greatest weakness is an accent, don't be weak

America! Stay strong! Stay Loud! And obnoxious.....and
loud.....and I can't hear the waiter because of you......

7 1 Reply ⥅

C
chris − ⚑
10 years ago

There is another type to add - 'Hipster'. In recent years, guys/girls

who only go to hostels for authentic/original experiences to
sample how perceived poorer people travel. They know all of the
'cool' cities, eateries and bars and mostly underground clubs
(found via hipster blogs) and only hang around with other
wanabee rebel types and don't like to mix/avoid eye contact. They
buy fixie bikes as transport rather than hire town bikes, they eat
mostly organic/healthy food but yet smoke cool branded cigs.
Their clothes are not particular travel or summer wear, more so
jeans and lumberjack shirts with trucker hats and ray bans and
New Balance trainers. All funded by their parents credit card.

7 1 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

How about the Irish guy who blows his entire traveling budget in
 the pub, hardly sees a thing of the country he's in and ends up
every night getting absolutely hammered... and naked, if he's on a
roll.

4 0 Reply ⥅

Avata This comment was deleted. −

B
Blah > Guest 9 years ago
− ⚑
He has memories?

0 0 Reply ⥅

Cookie Vagabond − ⚑
7 years ago

Hahah this is so true :)

3 0 Reply ⥅

SV
Solo Van Gato − ⚑
10 years ago

What about the retired couple who sold all their possessions,
spent three months in an ashram in India, shaved their heads,
meditate on their beds, and wonder around in a state of bliss,
smiling, eye lids half closed. Maybe by now actually enlightened.

3 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

We just need the late forties guy who is on his 20th world trip
looking down on you for eating a pizza while he is eating from a
tin of beans he found on the free food shelf!

3 0 Reply ⥅

B
Blah > Anonymous − ⚑
9 years ago

Man they're my favourite! beans or not! Permanent

travellers usually, gave the finger to the usual career and
family BS, such a change from endless normal
backpacking 20 year olds (not that there's anything
wrong with them). And you can ask them about any
funky country you've ever wondered about - chances are
they've been there!

1 1 Reply ⥅

F
Fredrik − ⚑
11 years ago

With other commenters already having added Israelis, Aussies

and the likes, my contribution has to be young Korean girls
(occasionally also Japanese). They never interact with anyone
and go almost completely unnoticed until they decide on getting
up ridiculously early to pack their bag in the room, putting every
individual item in a separate, loudly crackling, plastic bag. The
'packing of the bag' seems almost ritualistic and can easily take
two hours (no joke).

3 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous > Fredrik 10 years ago
− ⚑
Yup, I have been traveling for 20 years now. They - and
the hippies-who know-best were the reason I avoid
hostels now ;-)

0 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous > Fredrik 11 years ago
− ⚑
So right!

0 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous > Fredrik 11 years ago
− ⚑
Hysterical..the packing, plastic bag ritual is sooo true...:P
 0 0 Reply ⥅

SN
Suomy Nona − ⚑
7 years ago

I was #4. In my defence, I washed my clothes every day, even if it

was in the bathroom sink.

5 1 Reply ⥅

Miguel − ⚑
9 years ago

I have seen way too many obnoxiously happy couples. Taking

pictures of themselves doing everything, every second. "Oh honey
you look so cute. Let me take a picture of you eating dinner. Just
hold that pose!".... Constantly smiling and talking to each other,
ignoring everybody else around them - even when doing a tour
together with other people.

4 1 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
10 years ago

Internet junkies. They travel from hostel to hostel, spending all

their time cloistered with a laptop. In Istanbul, there was a Finnish
girl who finally left her computer to visit the Blue Mosque, which
was practically next door.

2 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

11. The guy in the wife-beater and khaki shorts writing in his
notepad like he thinks he's Ernest Fucking Hemingway or
someone.

2 0 Reply ⥅

8
82nd11B − ⚑
11 years ago

THIS IS SO TRUE!!! & Funny. Have to say I never met a bad Israeli,
maybe because I told them I was pro-Israeli over a beer. The really
gentle females going into their military service, I just told them it
wasn't so bad & got a post card 6 months later. Obnoxious types
come from every nation. You forgot to mention US Peace Corps
volunteers, & their British, German, Canadian equivalents, who
usually have their poop in a group.

2 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

How about a new list: The "i've seen to many tourists, therefore i
hate you and everything you stand for" hostel staffer. Expects you
to understand everything becasuse she has explianed the same
25 things to 25000 different travellers. "Hi how does the washing
machine work i don't..." she will roll here eyes into the back of her
head and sigh since she really should be an actress or writing
poetry, but here she is working in "Backpachers shitshow Hostel"
dealing with you're stupid questions . Luckily the hostel reviews
will be read by management.

2 0 Reply ⥅

JJ
Jonny Jenkins (@ stepupdivein. 10 years ago
− ⚑
This is absolutely hilarious... We had a little crowd gathered
together from the hostel the other night as we went through this
list, giving great little titles to everyone around the table...
awesome and spot on.

A few to add...

1) The Canadians with the flags... are you kidding now?! We get
the fact that you're not American, get over it.

2) The Vampires... those ones that never seem to see the light of
 day, by the time they're almost sober again they're well on their
way to being out for another 'night to remember... that they forget'

4 2 Reply ⥅

AA
Anonymous American
9 years ago
− ⚑
> Jonny Jenkins (@ stepupdivein.

Ha! Ha! Been there, heard that, and heard that retort! I
can't believe it still is going on after 50 years: Canadians
wearing flags! Canadians claiming all the Canadians
wearing flags are really Americans wearing Canadian
flags! (I talked to a lot of those Canadians with flags,
and guess what? They really WERE Canadians!)

3 0 Reply ⥅

AC
Anonymous Canadian
9 years ago
− ⚑
> Jonny Jenkins (@ stepupdivein.

seriously not all canadians do that. most "canadians" are

just american wearing a canadian flag just to get treated
more nicely. no offense but you guys have more rivals
than us.

3 0 Reply ⥅

C
Cplf23
9 years ago
> Anonymous Canadian
edited
− ⚑

I have literally never seen, or know of anyone

who has ever seen an American with a
Canadian flag sewn on their backpack. Not
saying it's never happened, but I'd think in all
my years of traveling I'd have at least seen or
heard of it once. I have also never been treated
poorly for being an American.

1 1 Reply ⥅

Priyam Patel − ⚑
9 years ago

Everyone is of his own kind. But till you don't come across people
who are different to you, you can't see the beauty lies in diversity
on the earth. Very creative and entertaining post!

2 1 Reply ⥅

JR
julia robert − ⚑
11 years ago

hey
i like your post

1 0 Reply ⥅

T
TonySmales − ⚑
11 years ago

Sometimes there is 'the sleeper', who just came here for a really
good snooze!

1 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

Oh no I hope Im not a female #2

1 0 Reply ⥅

A
Anonymous − ⚑
11 years ago

Hmm, I definitely miss the neo-hippie vegetarian type of person,

thinking they will make the world a better place. Dresses up as a
local after a few days. Usually not your smartest.
I was #10 and turned into #12.

1 0 Reply ⥅
 A
Anonymous > Anonymous 11 years ago
− ⚑
Oh definitely! Also, the hippies usually have deep,
philosophical, enlightened conversations. And no job. :)

1 0 Reply ⥅

DC
Decoy Candy > Anonymous 11 years ago
− ⚑
I have definitely a few #12 qualities now too...

0 0 Reply ⥅

S
Sasha − ⚑
11 years ago

The French hippy who is trying to stay in the cheapest country in

the world for as little possible; sleeping in a hammock, making his
own food where it costs only $1 for a meal, critising other
foreigners for frivolous behaviour like drinking beer in a bar
instead of buying from shop.

1 0 Reply ⥅

K
Kevin > Sasha − ⚑
10 years ago

I think u just made me realize French hippies are the

worts

0 0 Reply ⥅

K
Kevin > Kevin 10 years ago
− ⚑
*worst

0 0 Reply ⥅

D
Damo > Sasha
− ⚑
11 years ago

Don't forget the middle-class hippy wannabies, that grow

dreadlocks and preach hippy ideals but when you scrape
the surface know nothing about anything and are living
on their parents money!

0 0 Reply ⥅

VP
Victor Piousbox − ⚑
11 years ago

Only traveling I am myself. Non-traveling I am burdened.

1 0 Reply ⥅

PT
Paul Tager − ⚑
11 years ago

Very accurate description of hostel atmosphere, especially the

best culture / worst culture blend.

I'd add in the white guy with dredlocks, the sex-crazed Italian bros,
and the blackout drunk Aussies. If you're making fun of people in
hostels, you have to include Aussies.

1 0 Reply ⥅

D
Damo > Paul Tager − ⚑
11 years ago

There's also the people that don't actually talk to anyone

in the hostel because they are too busy staring at their
laptops and stay in the dorm watching youtube, alone.

4 0 Reply ⥅

JC
josh currie > Paul Tager 11 years ago
− ⚑
o god. I'm an aussie traveler and I have to agree. There's
always that pair or trio of ridiculously hammered party
aussies everywhere. I've been that duo with my mate.
I've avoided that group by myself. And I have shamed
the lot of them on several over the top adventures and
cash splashes all by myself. Def one to look for.
 1 0 Reply ⥅

J
John > Paul Tager − ⚑
11 years ago

This comment has been removed by the author.

0 0 Reply ⥅

YT
Yaa-Lirng Tu > Paul Tager 11 years ago
− ⚑
I was just going to write that! Aussies and Kiwis. There's
always at least a few, and they've been traveling for
months and never understand the concept of "I can't
take that many vacation days."

0 0 Reply ⥅

BJ
Bandana Jack > Paul Tager 11 years ago
− ⚑
see my previous comment about the very old gay man
for context...

0 0 Reply ⥅

DT
drew t. − ⚑
9 years ago

Hipsters. EVERYWHERE. A suburban kid who will say he is from

the closest city to his/her lousy little town. Total bumpkin but
pretends they are city slicker. It's a go-to persona for uneducated
people with no real personality or sense of individualism. They
jump into the Hipster culture because its made in china and all
you need to do is show up and wear buddy holly glasses. F...K
YOU hipsters. Please die!!

4 6 Reply ⥅

A
Amyranth − ⚑
10 years ago

You forgot the Sex Tourists. Sometimes Aussies, sometimes

Americans, but really just there (wherever you are) to get laid. And
then brag about it.

2 2 Reply ⥅

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