1

The Modern Passion

Narrator: Hey. So I, or should I say we, wanted to tell the

Story of Easter in a modern way. This has been a thing talked

about for more than 2000 years! And I’m glad we’re

celebrating this on Easter Sunday too! But it’s time for me to

leave the stage to Judas!

 3
Scene starts off with Judas..

Judas: (to the audience) Hey! Didn’t see ya there. By any

chance, do you know this guy named Jesus? Oh, no? Well, he’s

some kind of miracle-man.

Peter enters the scene..

Peter: Hey Jude! Dab me up brotha!

Judas dabs Peter up..

Judas: So what’s the plan today?

Peter: Nothing much bro. But tomorrow we’re finna goin’ to

Jerusalem baby!

Jesus enters the scene..

 4
Jesus: Hey guys.

Peter: Hey Jesus. Are you good bro?

Jesus: Juddie boy, can we have a minute?

Peter: What’s wrong man?

Jesus: The time is about to come. The Son of Man’s going to

suffer horrible and terrifying things in the hands of sinners.

Peter: But you’re the Son of God! Nothing of course will

happen to you.

Jesus: I’m still a human Peter. I’ve got human emotions. And

so do you, my friend.

Peter: So we’re going to Jerusalem tomorrow?

Jesus: Of course man!

 5

Scene 2: The Triumphal Entry

Jesus(to the apostles): There’s a town on the opposite of you

guys. Go there and get a donkey. And when they ask you why

you’re untying his leash, say to them, “The Lord needs it.”

Apostles get donkey..

Jesus gets on the donkey..

 6
The Crowd: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the lord!

Hosanna! Hosanna! To the son of David (2x)!

Caiaphas: Will. You. MAKE. YOUR. PEOPLE. STOP.

SHOUTINNGGGGG!!??

Jesus: If they’re silent, the rocks will keep shouting!

Scene 3: The Cleansing of the Temple and

The 7 woes to the Teachers and Pharisees

Scene starts off with Jesus throwing them tables down..

Jesus: Isn’t it written, “My house shall be called a house of

worship. But you have made it a den of Robbers”?

Judas: Don’t like the look of this..

Annas: Teacher! Teacher! Is it right to pay taxes to the

emperor?

Jesus(knowing they’re trying to trap him): Show me a

denarius.
 7
They gave Jesus said denarius.

Jesus: Okay, whose face and name are these on it?

Crowd: Caesar’s!

Jesus: Give then the things belonging to Caesar. But give to

God, what belongs to God!

Crowd: YEAH!
 8
Jesus: Woe to you, teachers of the law and pharisees,

hypocrites! You travel land and sea to get a single convert.

When you get the convert, you make him twice as much a son

of hell as you yourselves are! Woe to you, teachers of the law

and pharisees, hypocrites that you are! You make the

kingdom of heaven off-limits to those trying to enter, but you

yourselves don’t go in! Woe to you, blind fools! You strain out

a gnat but swallow a camel! Woe to you, blind fools! You say

that if one swears by the temple, it’s fine. But if one swears by

the temple gold, he must keep his promise! BLIND, YOU ARE!

Which is better, the gold or the temple that makes the gold

holy?! Woe to you, teachers of the law and pharisees,

hypocrites! You burn down widow’s houses and for no reason,

make long prayers! Woe to you, teachers of the law and

pharisees, hypocrites! You guys are like whited tombs! Which

look handsome on the outside, but full of everything unclean

on the inside. Woe to you, teachers of the law and pharisees,

HYPOCRITES!!!!!! You make tombs for the prophets and

decorate the graves of the righteous. And yet you say that if

you hadn’t been born in the time of your ancestors, you

 9
wouldn’t have partaken in the blood shed involving the

prophets! So you actually admit that you are the sons of the

prophets’ murderers! SO FILL UP THEN! THE MEASURE OF SIN

OF YOUR DAMN ANCESTORS, YOU SNAKES! YOU BROOD OF

VIPERS!!!!!!!!
 10

Scene 4: The Traitor

Scene starts off with Judas with the priests..

Judas: Hey. I can give Jesus of Nazareth to you for 30 denarii!

Caiaphas and Annas: Alright then.

Scene ends off with Annas shaking hands with Judas..

Scene 5: The Last Supper

Scene starts off with Jesus putting down his bag..

Jesus: (brings out bread and grape juice) Take this(breaks the

bread and gives it), for it is body, broken for the forgiveness of

sins. Eat it and remember me. And drink this (brings the bottle

of grape juice and opens it), for this is the new covenant in my

blood. Drink it and remember me.

Scene ends off with Judas suddenly going away..

 11

Scene 6: The Mental Breakdown in

Gethsemane

Scene starts off with Jesus and his friends going to

Gethsemane Forest, an off-limits area due to recent killings

and suicides..
 12
Jesus(to Peter): Sit here and keep watch while I go over there

and pray.

Peter: Alright.

Jesus: The sorrow in my heart, is so great that it almost breaks

me.

Jesus sheds a tear and says to Peter the same command..

Jesus: My father, let this cup of suffering pass from me! But

still, not what I want but what you want..

Satan: Hey. I’m giving you two options.

Jesus: Satan, away from me!

Satan: I’m giving you the GODDAMN power to choose!

Jesus: Father, my soul is willing, but my flesh is weak! Give me

strength please!

Satan: Oh, it’s too late for that now. You can redeem the

suicides and killings caused by me.

Jesus: FATHER! GIVE ME STRENGTH! IS THERE A WAY OUT?!

ANSWER ME! ANSWER ME NOW!

 13
Satan: It’s your will be done, Jesus!

Jesus groans and Satan keeps tempting him..

Jesus: NOT MY WILL!!!!!

Scene 7: The Arrest

Jesus: Get up. Let’s go.

Judas comes up to Jesus and halts the guards..

Jesus: Here he is. The traitor.

Judas: Peace be with you, teacher.

Judas kisses Jesus..

Jesus: Be quick about it, my friend. It is with a kiss that you

betray the Son of Man.

The guards grab Jesus and put him in the SWAT truck..

Thief 1: Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!

 14
Thief 2: Don’t you fear God? Seeing that you are being

sentenced to death? Ours is right because we’re guilty, but

he’s done nothing bad. Remember me, Jesus. When you come

as king.

Jesus: I promise you, that today you will be with me in

paradise.

Scene 8: The Trial

Jesus, now in prison clothes, now comes out before the Jury

and Pilate..

Pilate: And what are you doing here, at this hour of the

morning?

Caiaphas: We’ve found this man guilty of blasphemy and

deserving of death! We have also caught this man twisting the

nation from Galilee to here!

Pilate sends Jesus to Herod, but Herod didn’t find anything..

Pilate: I have found no reason to sentence this man to death.

So I shall punish him and let him go.

 15
And the crowds shouted that Jesus be killed and for a

Murderer to be released, and their shouts prevailed..

Pilate: Fine then, I will deliver him to your will.

Scene ends off with Pilate sentencing Jesus to die..

Scene 9: The Crucifixion Of Jesus

Scene starts off with Narrator..

Narrator: So, Jesus has been condemned to death. Now, in the

modern days, we would be horrified to see an innocent

person die, but with Jesus, it’s very real. I’ll tell you what they

did to him. A victim is stretched out on a wooden cross. And

they hammered 7-inch spikes into Jesus’ wrists. Then they

turned his legs sideways and a single spike was hammered

into the middle of his feet. Cause of death: Suffocation.

Jesus, now upon the cross with the crown of thorns, is now

being shown..

Jesus: Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re

doing.
 16
Mary: Oh, why? Why Jesus?

Jesus turns to John..

Jesus: Friend, take care of my mother.

John: I will!

A darkness shrouds the entire land..

Jesus: Eli, Eli! Lama Azavtani?

Crowd: He’s calling Elijah! Let Elijah come and save him!

HAHAHA!

Jesus: Father, into your hands, I entrust my spirit. It IS.

FINISHED!!!

Jesus screams, and then bows his head and dies. And then

there’s an earthquake..

Captain Longinus: Truly, this man was the son of God..

Scene ends off with the side of Jesus pierced..

Scene 10: The Resurrection of Jesus

 17
Scene starts off with Jesus appearing on a hotel building..

Jesus (to his friends): All power has been given to me in

heaven and on earth. So, I send you out. Making Disciples of

all around the world, baptizing them in the name of the

Father, the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them what

I’ve said to you, and remember I am with you, even to the end

of the age!

Scene ends off with Jesus rising into the sky..