Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The Intire Megamind Script
The Intire Megamind Script
(He puts the binky into Megamind's mouth and then utters his last words to his
son.)
Megamind: [voice over] I didn't quite hear that last part, but it sounded
important. Destined for... what? I set out to find my destiny. Turns out a kid from
the Glaupunk Quadrant had the exact same idea. That was the day I met Mr. Goody-
Two-Shoes. And our glorious rivalry was born!
Megamind: [voice over] Could this be what I was destined for? A dream life filled
with luxury?
(baby Metro Man’s ship appears in front and crash lands into the beautiful house.)
Megamind: (voice-over.) Apparently not! Even fate has its favorites. No big deal. A
much different fate awaited me.
Lord Scott: (reading his paper.) Oh, yes, yes. I saw and thought of you.
(baby Megamind's ship opens and he sees the prisoners crowding around looking at
him.)
(one of the prisoners is showing him picture cards of a policeman and a burglar.)
Megamind: (voice-over.) A place that taught me the differences between right and
wrong. Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes on the other hand had life handed to him on a silver
platter.
(baby Metro Man flies around the ceiling.)
Lord Scott: Yes, yes, nothing but the best for you, darling.
Megamind: (voice-over.) The power of flight, invulnerability, and great hair! [the
image freezes at Mr. GTS as the tip of his hair shines] But I had something far,
far greater. My amazing intellect! A knack for building objects of mayhem. [Now
riding a tricycle made out of Metro City license plates, baby Megamind rides down
the hall with some of the inmates following him. His pacifier shoots a beam through
the wall and is stopped by the warden.
Megamind: (voice-over.) After a few years and with some time off for good behavior,
I was given an opportunity to better myself through learning at a strange place
called ‘shool’. It was there that I once again ran into Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. He had
already amassed a gigantic army of soft-headed groupies.
(Metro Man as a child uses his laser vision to heat up popcorn and all the school
children cheer and clap.)
Warden: Lights out! (The prison lights turn off. Megamind uses his pacifier as a
flashlight to add some more sketches to his invention while Minion watches.)
(Megamind's object to produce popcorn for the school children explodes and Metro
Man uses his powers to put the fire out.)
Megamind: (voice-over.) That's when I learned a very hard lesson. Good receives all
the praise and adulation while evil is sent to quiet time in the corner. [Metro Man
sends Megamind to the back of the room and is rewarded with a gold star sticker. A
class photo] So fitting in wasn’t really an option. (MM (Metro Man) plays a ukulele
as the class sings "Itsy Bitsy Spider".) While they were learning Itzy Bitzy
Spider, I learnt how to dehydrate inanimate objects and rehydrate them at will.
(Megamind fires a ray at Minion turning him into a cube, and adds a drop of water
on the cube to bring Minion back to life. The latter sees the former belly-up as he
taps of the sphere. Minion wakes up as the two share a smile.) Some days it felt
like it was just me and Minion against the world. No matter how hard I tried I was
always the odd man out. (MM picks a girl with a cast and crutches to be on his
team.) The last one picked. A screw up! Black sheep! (dodgeballs are being pelted
at Megamind.) Bad boy! (As a new round begins, Megamind buckles up a helmet with
spikes on them. As the dodgeballs fire, lightning from the spikes reflect the balls
hitting a car, a man's head, and nearly hitting the teacher, but deflected by MM.
He is rewarded with yet another gold star sticker.) Was this my destiny? Wait...
maybe it was! Being bad is the one thing I'm good at. Then it hit me; if I was the
bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all!
Megamind: (voice-over.) Our battles quickly got more elaborate. He would win some,
I would almost win others! He took the name Metro Man, defender of Metro City
(pronounced 'met-traw-city'). I decided to pick something a little more humble;
Megamind, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!
(in prison.)
Warden: (Noticing the cell guard reading a newspaper.) Read on your own time! Open
up! (The guard opens the window and Warden and sees that Megamind is not sitting in
his chair. Concerned, he presses his face up closer to the window.)
Megamind: BOO! (Warden jumps back. Megamind laughs.) Good morning Warden. Great
news, I'm a changed man and I’m ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen.
Warden: You're a villain! And you’ll always be a villain. You’ll never change. And
you’ll never leave.
Megamind: You're fun.
Warden: You got a present in the mail.
Megamind: Is it a puppy?
[the warden opens the box to reveal a hand watch]
Warden: From Metro Man.
[reading the card from Metro Man]
Warden: 'To count every second of your eighty-five life sentences.' That's funny,
never thought Metro Man was the gloating type. Oh, but he does have nice taste.
[he puts the watch on his wrist]
Warden: I think I’ll keep it.
Megamind: Any chance you could give me the time. I don’t want to be late for the
opening of the Metro Man museum.
[the warden looks at the watch]
Warden: Oh, no! Looks like you’re gonna miss it, by several thousand years.
Megamind: Oh, am I?
Roxanne Ritchie: Happy Metro Man day, Metro City. It’s a beautiful day in downtown
where we’re here to honor a beautiful Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that’s
inside a bigger ocean. For years he’s been watching us with his supervision, saving
us with his super strength and caring for us with his super heart. Now it’s our
turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchie, reporting live from the
dedication of the Metro Man museum.
[she does the cut sign to her cameraman]
Hal: Wow! Okay, the stuff they make you read on air, that’s un-freaking-believable!
It’s crazy.
Roxanne Ritchie: I wrote that piece myself, Hal.
Hal: What I was trying to say was, I can’t believe that in our modern society, they
let, like actual art get onto the news.
Roxanne Ritchie: Nice save, Hal.
Hal: Why don’t we…like, let’s just get a coffee or something.
Roxanne Ritchie: [Scoffs] Come on, it’s time to get into the metro man day spirit!
Hal: Well, if I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn’t be kidnapping you all the time,
that’s the first thing.
Roxanne Ritchie: [chuckles] That’s sweet, Hal.
Hal: And I’d be watching you, like…like a dingo watches a human baby.
Roxanne Ritchie: Mmm.
Hal: Okay, that sounded…okay, that sounded a little weird.
Roxanne Ritchie: A little bit, yeah.
Hal: You’re making a face, and that’s making me feel weird. (Roxanne is kidnapped
by minion as Hal continues to speak)
Hal: Point is, I would watch you like something watching something intently with
love. Not love, we’re not in love. I’m not saying I love you. Okay, I love you,
whatever. [chuckles] But I’m not saying, like, I’m in love with you, I’m saying…
(he notices Roxanne is gone) Roxxane? Roxaroo?
(Cut back to the prison. The warden’s appearance is changed into Megamind’s as he
walks back from the cell.)
Warden: Get back to work! The city doesn't pay you to loaf.
(The officers taze the warden and drag him back to Megamind’s cell.)
(As they cuff the Warden to the chair, Megamind steals back the watch and heads out
the door as the Warden changes back)
Megamind: You were right. (The watch changes him into the Warden) I’ll always be a
villain. (Megamind cackles sinisterly as he locks the door behind him and leaves
the prison)
Metro Man: Give me some! Come on. Give it to me! Right on! Give me the good stuff!
Alright!
(Metro Man picks up and juggles three babies before returning them and grabbing a
microphone)
Mayor: It is with great pleasure that I present to Metro Man this new museum. If
you please!
(MetroMan cuts the ribbon while a man with a trenchcoat in the crowd shuffles)
Minion: [singing] You did it, sir. You did it, sir.
Megamind: [singing] Yes I did.
Minion: Us!
Megamind: I did it!
Minion: We both did it.
Megamind: Not us, I!
Minion: You a little more than me, but still come on! When they’re giving out the
awards I’m going to be right here next to you, right sir?
Megamind: What awards? Awards for what? Hit it!
(highway to hell plays. A crowd of police and citizens have blockaded the City
Hall, but when megamind enters, they’re all so scared of him that they surrender
and lay their guns down)
Megamind: I know, I know. Always thirsty, never satisfied. I understand you, little
well-dressed bird. Purposeless, emptiness. It’s a vacuum, isn’t it? It’s…What’s
your vacuum like?
[Minion breaks through the door, singing and playing air guitar on a statue]
Roxanne Ritchie: He was always there for us. Dependable. Perhaps we took him for
granted, or maybe... we never really know how good we have it until it's gone. We
miss you, Metro Man... I... miss you. And I have just one question for Megamind.
Are you happy now? This is Roxanne Ritchie, reporting from a city without a hero.
Coming up next, are you ready to be a slave army? What you need to know.
[she does the cut sign to Hal]
Hal: Aaand, wrap that up and give it to a child on Christmas! Cause we’re done
Roxanne Ritchie: Okay. See you tomorrow, Hal.
Hal: Wait, Roxie, I’m havin’ a party at my house, It’s gonna be like off the hook,
or whatever. You should come over. I got a DJ, rented a bouncy house, made a gallon
of dip. It’s gonna be sick!
Roxanne Ritchie: Oh, I…I don’t know, Hal. I don’t really feel like being around a
bunch of people.
Hal: No, no, no! That’s the best part, it’ll just be like, you and me.
(Awkward Silence)
Hal: [to himself] What’s wrong with me?! “Rented a bouncy house?” Chicks don’t like
bouncy houses, they like clowns!
[he hits his van and Roxanne hears him shout]
Megamind: I’ve made a horrible mistake. I didn’t mean to destroy you. I mean, I
meant to destroy you, but I didn’t think it would really work.
Roxanne Ritchie: What are we supposed to do? Without you, evil is running rampant
through the streets.
Megamind: I’m so tired of running rampant through the streets. What’s the point of
being bad when there’s no good to try and stop you?
Roxanne Ritchie: (sigh) Someone has to stop Megamind.
Bernard: Hey, we’re closing soon.
Roxanne Ritchie: (gasp) Ugh! You scared me! Barry, right?
Bernard: Bernard.
Roxanne Ritchie: Bernard. I was just… (chuckles) Well, I was talking to myself. You
probably think I’m a little bit nuts.
Bernard: I’m not allowed to insult guests directly.
Roxanne Ritchie: Thank you. I just… Bernard, I’ll just be another minute.
Bernard: (exaggerated sigh) Okay.
Roxanne Ritchie: Thanks.
(Cut back to Megamind)
Megamind: I had so many evil plans in the works; The Illiteracy Beam, Typhoon
Cheese, Robo Sheep. Battles we will now never have.
(His voice echoes, and Roxxane starts walking around the platform to investigate
the noise)
Megamind: You know, I never had the chance to say goodbye. So it’s good that we
have this time now. You know, before I destroy the place. Nothing personal, it just
brings back too many painful memories.
[Megamind activates a countdown bomb and starts walking away]
Bernard: Uuh! You even made a cheap replica of his dehydration gun. How unc…
[Megamind shoots his dehydration gun at Bernard and turns him into a cube]
Roxanne Ritchie: I kept thinking he was gonna do one of his last-minute escapes.
Bernard: Yeah, he was really good at those.
Roxanne Ritchie: Oh! If only the world had a reset button.
Bernard: I’ve looked into the reset button.(he starts to cry) The science is
impossible.
Roxanne Ritchie: Oh Bernard.. I didn’t know you had…feelings. Are you okay?
Bernard: Metro Man’s gone. And now there’s no one left to challenge Megamind.
Roxanne Ritchie: Oh, come on, Bernard! As long as there’s evil, good will rise up
against it.
Bernard: Uuh, I wish!
Roxanne Ritchie: I believe someone’s gonna stand up to Megamind.
Bernard: You really think so?
Roxanne Ritchie: Yeah, it’s like they say. Heroes aren’t born, they’re made!
(Megamind has a realization)
Bernard: Heroes can be made. That’s it! All you need are the right ingredients.
Roxanne Ritchie: Yeah. Bravery.
Bernard: Yes.
Roxanne Ritchie: Strength.
Bernard: Of course!
Roxanne Ritchie: Determination.
Bernard: Imperative! And a smidgen of DNA. Oh, with that anyone can be a hero!
Roxanne Ritchie: Yeah!
Bernard: Ohoho!
[he laughs and picks up Roxanne in excitement, and his alarm goes off to warn him
of the bombs timer]
Megamind: Aaaah! Oh! I’m too close! I’m genuinely scared right now! Oh! I hope no
one’s seeing this! Aah!
Cut to the evil lair with Minion, who is holding coffee and donuts.
Megamind: And then finally, I’m going to fight that hero in an epic battle of good
and evil, which will put everything back the way it was, when the world was perfect
and rosy!
Megamind: Behold, Minion, Metro Man’s cape! Look closely.
Megamind: Tell me what you see.
Minion: Dandruff?
Megamind: Ha…ha…yes! It’s his DNA! From this, we’ll extract the source of Metro
Man’s awesome power.
[extracting Metro Man’s essence]
Megamind: Now, we have just one shot at this. We must find a suitable subject.
Someone of noble heart and mind, who puts the welfare of others above their own.
[a tune from a cell phone goes off]
Megamind: Ollo?
Minion: Um, it’s ‘hello’.
Megamind: Oh. Hello?
[to Minion]
Megamind: Like that?
[Roxanne’s voice comes through the cell phone]
Roxanne Ritchie: Bernard, it’s Roxanne.
[whispering to Minion]
Megamind: It’s Roxanne!
Roxanne Ritchie: I just want to thank you for inspiring me the other day.
Bernard: Oh! You “inspired” me too.
Roxanne Ritchie: Great. It’s time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can’t
push us around.
Bernard: Oh! Oh, really?
[whispers to Minion]
Megamind: She’s so cute!
Roxanne Ritchie: I’m already hot on his trail.
Megamind: Uh-huh. And what gives you that idea?
Minion: Uh, sir?
Roxanne: I just found his secret hideout!
[Roxanne’s face appears on the security TV screens]
Megamind: [shouting] How did she find my hideout?!
[back onto the cell phone]
Megamind: Uh, how did you find his hideout?
Roxanne Ritchie: This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on
the roof!
[to Minion]
Megamind: Okay. There’s no way she’ll find the secret entrance.
Roxanne Ritchie: (gasps) There’s a doormat here that says ‘Secret Entrance’!
(Roxxane enters the hideout and Megamind turns to Minion)
Megamind: Minion!
Minion: I kept forgetting where it was!
Megamind: She’ll discover all our secrets!
Minion: Aah! Oh no!
Megamind: You dim-witted creation of science!!
Roxanne Ritchie: (on the phone) What?
Megamind: What? Oh no, not you, Roxxane. No, I was just yelling at…my mother’s urn.
Don’t do anything I’ll be right there.
[after Roxanne has entered into Megamind secret hideout]
Hal: Roxxane? Oh no, not again!
(Cut to Roxxane walking around)
Bernard: Roxanne?
Roxanne Ritchie: (gasp) Oh!
[Roxanne turns around in surprise and see’s Bernard who’s in fact Megamind in
disguise]
Bernard: (gasp) Wow!
Roxanne Ritchie: Oh, I’m glad you’re here. Wait, how did you get here so fast?
Bernard: Well, I uh, I happen to be speed walking nearby when you called.
Roxanne Ritchie: In a suit?
Bernard: Uh-huh. It’s called, formal speed walking. But that’s not important. I’d
better take the lead. This way looks exciting.
Roxanne Ritchie: No, it says exit.
Bernard: Uh, which is the abbreviation for ex-citing, right?
(Roxxane finds Megaminds planning room with posters and notes everywhere)
Roxanne Ritchie: (gasps) Megamind! What have you done with Bernard?
Megamind: Bernard? Oh, yes. I’m doing horrible things to that man. I don’t want to
get into it, but lasers, spikes…
[he opens a trap door and put his head in pretending to be Bernard shouting]
Bernard: Oh, please, no! Not the lasers and the spikes!
Megamind: You know, the drill.
Bernard: Oh, no! Not the drill? Aaargh!
Roxanne Ritchie: Let him go! Or…
Megamind: Or what?
Roxanne Ritchie: Or I’m gonna find out what this weird looking gun does!
Megamind: No! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot that gun! I’ll just go get him.
(Megamind jumps into the trapdoor, pretending to fight Bernard, turning his
disguise on and off)
Hal: Roxane?
Megamind: You’re going to break it!
Roxanne Ritchie: Give it to me!
(They accidentally fire the gun)
Megamind: Oh no!
(The super-powered bullet ricochets back and forth before entering a pipe, pinging
around inside and moving towards Hal, standing outside)
Hal: Roxanne?
(The bullet fires out and hits Hal)
Hal: Ow!
Megamind: (gasp)
Minion: Who on earth is that?
(Roxane sneaks around to the exit door, which turns out to be a room filled with
Aligators)
Bernard: Roxanne!
Roxanne Ritchie: Oh, Bernard! You were right about that door being exciting.
(The brainbots fly after them.)
Minion: (From the watch) Sir! Code: Did you find out who it was?
Bernard: Uh? Oh! Oh. (he undoes his disguise)
Megamind: Code: Get the car.
Minion: Code: Right away, sir.
(Cut to Roxanne dropping Hal off at his Apartment)
Hal: Bye!
Roxanne Ritchie: See you tomorrow, Hal.
Hal: I’ll leave the door unlocked in case you want to check on me later.
Megamind: Who is this man we’ve infused with god-like power?
[Hal trips and falls onto Megamind’s invisible car]
Hal: Ah! Ow! Augh!
Minion: Well sir, his name is Hal Stewart. He’s twenty eight years old, no criminal
record, actually no records at all. Apparently this man hasn’t accomplished
anything.
Hal: What just happened?
Megamind: Not yet, Minion. Not yet!
Hal: Could this day get any more fun-tastic?
Minion: So, I will just go ahead and defuse him since this is clearly a mistake-
(he switches the gun into DEFUSE mode)
Megamind: No, Minion! There’s something much more powerful at work here. (He tosses
the gun into the back seat. This will be important later)
Megamind: This is no mistake. It’s destiny!
[Megamind breaks into Hal’s apartment, folding Hal’s bed on himself, trapping him
in the wall]
Megamind: Hal Shtewart! Prepare for your destiny! Hal? Hal Shtewart? Am I saying it
right?
Minion: It’s “Stewart.”
Megamind: Ah!
(Minion pulls the bed down, releasing Hal)
Hal: Ah! Is this a robbery? Cause the lady across the hall has way better stuff
than me.
Megamind: Oh, look! It’s Hal Stewart. Quick, the spray!
Minion: (The can squeaks, empty) Oops! All out!
Megamind: Well, use the forget-me stick.
Minion: Oh, right! (knocks out Hal with the stick)
Megamind: (gasp) Just look at him.
Minion: No, he doesn’t look quite the hero type to me.
Megamind: Oh, you’re such a pill, Minion. (They fold the bed on Hal again, hiding
him in the wall) A potter couldn’t ask for finer clay.
Megamind: I smell a hero.
Minion: I smell something burning.
Megamind: I think it’s working! Places! Places! Pla…places!
Megamind: Do you have your disguise?
[Minion puts on an apron and wig and Megamind activates his disguise of a space-
themed old man]
Minion: What?
Megamind: Hh, you look fantastic.
(the pull out bed bursts and reveals a buffed up Hal)
Space Dad: I know this is a lot to take in. It may take months for you to come to
grips-
Hal: No freakin’ way! (He flies out the wall)
Space Dad: I wasn’t finished!
(Hal crashes into the street, accidentally lodging himself in a car while dancing)
Space Dad: No, no, no! Stomach down, hands up! Like Metro Man!
Hal: Woah! Wait!
Space Dad: Watch out!
(They fly through a billboard of Metro Man)
Minion: They love video games. I could throw a few parts together…
Megamind: Can’t wait. LOL. Smiley face.
Minion: Can’t wait for what, sir?
(Megamind disguised as Bernard is having dinner with Roxanne)
Bernard: [Both laughing] Aha! That was such a funny story! Huh! And brilliantly
told by the way. Okay, now you tell one.
Roxanne Ritchie: Bernard, I never knew you were so funny.
Bernard: And I never heard you laugh before.
Roxanne Ritchie: Yeah, it’s been a while. Feels pretty good.
(Cut to Tighten’s training)
Roxanne Ritchie: (laughs) Okay, okay. Metro Man and I were never a couple.
Bernard: But I thought you two-
Roxanne Ritchie: I know. Everybody did! It’s just… well he was never really my
type.
Bernard: Really?
Roxanne Ritchie: Okay, now you tell me something. Something you’ve never told
anyone.
Bernard: Well, in shh…school, none of the other kids really liked me. I was always
the last one picked for everything.
Roxanne Ritchie: Mmm, well it’s too bad that we didn’t go to the same school.
[Cut to Space Dad giving Tighten a present)
Roxanne Ritchie: The city’s parks restored to their original glory. The streets the
safest they’ve been. The banks reopened. Has something happened to Megamind? Has
someone tamed this monster? This is Roxanne Ritchie, cautiously optimistic and
pleasantly confused.
Minion: Well you seem in a very good mood tonight, sir.
Megamind: Ha? Oh, yes. How long is this going to take, Minion?
[Minion is measuring Megamind]
Minion: Just a few alterations, sir, and I will be done with your most terrifying
cape yet! I’m calling it the Black Mambaaaaa…!
Megamind: Black Mamba. Perfect! Ooh. Gosh, I am running late. I have to go.
Minion: What? Where…where are you going, sir? We have our debut battle with Tighten
tomorrow morning. We haven’t even tested your big battle suit yet.
Megamind: You attend to the details, Minion. I have to…run a quick errand.
Minion: You don’t run errands. What’s going on here?
Megamind: What?
Minion: Oh, wait a minute!
[Minion smells Megamind]
Minion: Nuh-uh-uh. This is about Miss Ritchie, isn’t it? You’re going on a date
with her!
Megamind: (laughs) No, my main man! Get out of town!
Minion: Oh, this is bad. This is bad. You’ve fallen in love with her!
Megamind: You are forgetting your place, Minion. Now give me the keys!
Minion: What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?
Megamind: She will never find out. That’s the point of lying!
[Megamind pushes a button on Minion which makes his stretched arm fall]
Megamind: Honestly, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was your first day
of being evil.
Minion: No! This has gone far enough! (Minion steals the keys back and puts them in
his fishbowl)
Megamind: Oh, that was really grown up!
Minion: Sir. Sir, please, it’s for your own good!
Megamind: Oh, what do you know?
Minion: I may not know much, but I do know this. The bad guy doesn’t get the girl.
Megamind: Maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore!
Minion: (shrieks)
Megamind: You heard me!
Minion: (whispering) Who are you?
Megamind: Now give me the keys!
Minion: No! My sole purpose in life is to look after you!
Megamind: Well, I don’t need you to look after me.
Minion: What’re you…what are you saying? You don’t need me?
Megamind: Let me make it clear. Code; I don’t need you.
Minion: You know what? You know what? (he spits out the keys) Code; I’ll just pack
my thing and go!
Megamind: Code; fine!
Minion: Code; fine back! (He starts to leave)
Minion: Well, good luck on your date!
Megamind: I will!
Minion: That doesn’t even make any sense!
Megamind: I know!
(Minion leaves. Both of them nearly cry, but Megamind turns on his Bernard
disguise, leaving for his date. Cut to Roxanne in her apartment, with all her notes
on megamind, trying to put the pieces together)
Roxanne Ritchie: I know I am so close, I can feel it. (sigh) Okay, okay. I just
have to take a step back. (gasp) Wait a minute.
(She backs up onto her balcony, now seeing all the notes together forming an image
of Tighten with his name above)
Hal: Okay, you don’t like flowers? Okay, uh, forget the flowers. (He tosses them
away)
Roxanne Ritchie: What do you want?
Hal: I thought we could go for a little flight around town. Get to know each other
first.
(Tighten lifts Roxanne up and starts flying with her)
Hal: That was a close one! You almost died, but I saved you!
Roxanne Ritchie: Uhh..! Building!!
Hal: Ah!
(He chucks her over the building while plowing himself right through it with no
concern as Roxanne screams in terror)
Hal: (catches her) Gotcha! (chuckles) Whoo! I’m sorry, what were you saying? I
couldn’t hear you over the sound of me saving your life!
Roxanne Ritchie: Put me down! Right now!
Hal: Okay, all right. All right. Hold on.
(He sets her down on the top of Metro Tower)
Bernard: Wow.
Roxanne Ritchie: But why would he pick Hal? Hal is the worst possible person you
could pick.
Bernard: Wow! That’s a lot to take in.
Roxanne Ritchie: It…it…it boggles my mind!
Bernard: I am extremely boggled. You know, I’m sure we’ll get to the bottom of
who’s kicking whose butt. But in the meantime, let’s enjoy each other’s company.
Roxanne Ritchie: (laughs) I’m sorry, Bernard. Of course, you’re right. You know, I
could use a breather.
[she raises her champagne glass for a toast]
Roxanne Ritchie: To Bernard. For being the only normal thing in my crazy, upside-
down world.
Bernard: To… being normal.
(They clink their glasses, and Tighten can be seen outside, watching with sadness)
Bernard: Roxanne?
Roxanne Ritchie: Yes?
Bernard: Say I wasn’t so normal. Say I was bald and had the complexion of…of a
popular primary color as a random, non-specific example. Would you still enjoy my
company?
Roxanne Ritchie: Of course! You don’t judge a book by its cover or a person from
the outside.
Bernard: Aaah! That’s a relief to hear.
Roxanne Ritchie: You judge them based on their actions.
Bernard: Well, that seems kind of petty. Don’t you think?
(Roxanne laughs then kisses Megamind, meanwhile her hand slowly moves up his arm,
brushing against his watch, turning him back. One by one, the patrons of the
restaurant gasp and go from murmuring to screaming, save one baby, which begins
crying. Confused, but still with lips locked, Roxanne opens her eyes and they widen
with disbelief as she sees the truth, and him back. His eyes slowly open at first
but then also widen. They then pull off of each other, startled by what they're
both seeing.)
Megamind: What about everything you just said? About judging a book by its cover?
Roxanne Ritchie: Well, let’s take a look at the contents then, shall we? You
destroyed Metro Man, you took over the city, and then you actually got me to care
about you! (sighs) Why are you so evil? Tricking me! What could you possibly hope
to gain?
[Megamind says nothing, looking at her with sadness)
Roxanne Ritchie: Do you really think that I would ever be with you?
Megamind: No.
(She walks past him. Megamind leaves without his car, walking down the street.
Roxanne takes a moment to look back at him before turning away. Cut to Megamind at
his lair)
Megamind: Okay, Minion! You were right! I was…less right! We should stick to what
we’re good at. Being bad. Minion?
Minion is gone. Megamind looks at his plans with Tighten and realizes there’s only
one thing left for him now. Villany. He whistles the brainbots over)
Megamind: (evil laughter) I hear there’s a new hero who dares challenge my evil.
Where is the one they call Tighten? (laughs) Challenge me, if you dare!
(He readies himself outside of the city hall. A huge crowd waits to see the fight.
Time passes and the crowd slowly dissipates. Megamind waits for hours, eventually
playing with cars as toys)
Megamind: I can’t believe you. All your gifts, all your powers and you…you squander
them for your own personal gain!
Hal: Yes!
Megamind: No! I’m the villain! You’re the good guy! I do something bad, and you
come and get me. That’s why I created you!
Hal: Yeah, right! You’re nuts! Space dad told me-
Megamind: Look, I’m your space dad!
(he transforms)
Megamind: Oh! And the hero strikes the first blow! But evil returns with a
backhand! (laughs maniacally while smacking Tighten away) Yes!
(Hal flies back to him but Megamind hides behind a wall, scaring a worker)
Megamind: Shh! (laughs)
Hal: Come out you little freak! I wanna see what that big brain looks like on the
pavement!
(Megamind taps Hal’s shoulder from behind before punching him into a building. Hal
flies out and gives chase)
Megamind: You fell for the oldest evil trick in the book!
Hal: You little blue twerp!
(Hal flies to intercept, but Megamind strikes him using a streetlight as a sword)
Megamind: Haha! Now, that’s the spirit! Parry! Thrust! Parry again! Now it’s time
for some witty back-and-forth banter! You go first!
Hal: (angry screaming)
Megamind: Okay! Look, I’m not sure where to go with that!
Hal: This one’s for stealing my girlfriend!
(He slices at the mechs heel, tripping it and launching it into the air)
Hal: This one’s for Space Dad making a fool out of me!
(He punches the mech down, crashing it through multiple floors of a building)
Hal: And Megamind, (he shatters the mech’s glass and grabs him) this one’s for
Space Stepmom! You lied to her!
Megamind: Oh, well done! I thought that battle went really, really well. I mean, I
have a few notes.
Hal: Notes?!
Megamind: But they can wait. (sighs) You can take me to jail now.
Hal: Oh, no, no, no! I was thinking more like the morgue. You’re dead! (his eyes
start to glow red)
Megamind: Whoa, whoa, whoa! This isn’t how you play the game.
Hal: Game over!
(Megamind gasps in shock, pressing an emergency button that ejects him into the
street before getting zapped)
Megamind: Brainbots!
(The brainbots catch him and carry him away from Hal as he chases him)
Megamind: I’m calling time out! Time out? Time out, time out!
(Hal punches through a gas truck, blasting the brainbots away and walks towards
megamind laying on the street)
Megamind: (chuckles) Guess what, Buster Brown? It’s made from copper. You’re
powerless against it. It’s the very same metal used to defeat…
[Hal’s fist punches out through the metal]
Mayor: We’re saved! We’re saved! What’s your name, new hero?
Hal: It’s Tighten.
Mayor: Thank you. Thank you! Tighten has freed us.
Hal: Oh, I wouldn’t say free. More like, under new management.
(He flicks the Mayor, sending him rolling down the street. Cut to Megamind, ringing
the doorbell to Roxanne's apartment)
Roxanne Ritchie: You gave him these powers, can’t you just take them away?
Megamind: I can’t. I lost my diffuser gun when I misplaced the invisible car. The
night you dumped me. Alone. In the rain. Did you ever look back?
Roxanne Ritchie: No!
[she breaks hardm causing Megamind’s head to hit the windshield]
Roxanne Ritchie: You know, I think there’s an apology in order for the other night.
Megamind: Okay, that would be nice, but make it quick. We have much more pressing
matters to deal with.
Roxanne Ritchie: (frustrated groan)
(He opens the door to a large Metro Man themed lounging area, with many different
relics from his glory days)
Megamind: Wow! I can’t believe he kept all this stuff. (He sees a cape with a neck
rest attached) (sighs) I remember when he wore that.
Roxanne Ritchie: Shouldn’t we try to stay focused here?
Megamind: Yes, of course, right, focused.
Roxanne Ritchie: Hey! Come over and look at this.
(Megamind stumbles over, wearing the neck rest cape)
Roxanne Ritchie: No. What I’m saying is don’t you think it’s a little odd that the
ice hasn’t melted yet?
Megamind: One of life’s great mysteries.
(Metro Man’s step creaks a floorboard, causing Roxane and Megamind to both slowly
turn and make eye contact with Metro Man)
News Reporter: We now have confirmed reports. Tighten, first thought to be the
city’s new hero, has turned evil. The city has never seen this level of
destruction. If only Metro Man were still alive.
Roxanne Ritchie: You’re alive?
Megamind: You’re alive?
Metro Man: I’m alive.
Roxanne Ritchie: But…but…but we…we saw your skeleton. You were dead.
Megamind: Are you a ghost?
Roxanne Ritchie: There had better be an amazing explanation for this.
Megamind: Speak, apparition.
Metro Man: (after a long pause) Okay. Okay, okay, okay. You both deserve the truth.
It all started back at the observatory.
(flashback)
Metro Man: [voice over] Roxanne was kidnapped, I was gonna stop you. My head wasn’t
in the game that day. We were kind of goin’ through the motions. So, using my super
speed, I decided to go clear my head. Then I realized, we had done this same silly
charade our entire lives. I tried to get my mind off how I was feeling, but I just
felt stuck. And I began to realize, despite all my powers, each and every citizen
of Metro had something I didn’t. A choice. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always
had to be what this city wanted me to be. But what about what I wanted to do? Then
it suddenly hit me. I do have a choice! I can be whatever I wanna be! No one said
that this hero thing had to be a lifetime gig. You can’t just quit either. That’s
when I got the brilliant idea… to fake my death.
Metro Man: Copper drains my powers!
Megamind: Your weakness is copper?
Metro Man: Once your death ray hit, I’ve never felt so alive.
Metro Man: So I borrowed a prop from a nearby nursing school. Metro Man was finally
dead! And Music Man was born!
Roxanne Ritchie: Music Man?
Metro Man: That way I can keep my logo.
Megamind: Cause of what?
Roxanne Ritchie: Come again?
Metro Man: I was finally free to get in touch with my true power. Weaving lyrical
magic. Check this out.
[he starts to play the guitar]
Metro Man: [singing] I have eyes, that can see, right through lead…
Roxanne Ritchie: You’re horrible!
Megamind: Granted, you have talent! But there’s a madman out there destroying our…
your city!
[Roxanne starts to throw things on to Metro Man’s head]
Roxanne Ritchie: How could you do this? The people of the city relied on you and
you deserted them.
Roxanne Ritchie: You left us in the hands of…HIM! [to Megamind] No offense.
Megamind: No, I’m with you! Look, we need your help.
Metro Man: I’m sorry. I really am. Um, I’m…I’m done. You know, little buddy,
there’s a yin for every yang. If there’s bad, good will rise up against it. It’s
taken me a long time to find my calling. Now it’s about time you find yours.
(outside)
Roxanne Ritchie: Hey, who needs him? We can beat Tighten ourselves. I say we go
back to the evil lair, grab some ray guns, hold ’em sideways and just go all
‘gangsta’ on him.
Megamind: We can’t.
Roxanne Ritchie: So that’s it. You’re just giving up?
Megamind: I’m the bad guy. I don’t save the day. I don’t fly off into the sunset
and I don’t get the girl. I’m going home.
(Megamind turns himself in to prison)
News Reporter: Unless someone comes to our aid soon, all may be lost. Thousands
have already fled the city in a mass exodus. Remaining citizens are warned to stay
indoors until further notice. Authorities have issued a warning to stay out of the
downtown area at all costs. (Roxanne drives downtown to find Tighten)
Hal: Megamind! You and I have some unfinished business. I’ll be waiting at Metro
Tower. Oh, and just so you don’t get cold feet…
(he points the camera at Roxxane, bound to the top of the tower)
Megamind: Roxanne…
Hal: Come on, Roxy. Call for your hero to come rescue you!
Roxanne Ritchie: (sigh) Megamind, I don’t even know if you’re listening. But if you
are, you can’t give up! The Megamind I knew would never have run from a fight, even
when he knew he had absolutely no chance of winning. It was your best quality. You
need to be that guy right now. The city needs you. I need you.
Megamind: Roxanne!
Hal: You have one hour. Don’t keep me waiting. (the tv goes static)
Megamind: Warden! Warden! Listen to me, you have to let me go. Tighten has to be
stopped!
Warden: Sorry, Megamind. You still have eighty-eight life sentences to go. Plenty
of time to reflect on what you’ve done.
Megamind: Do you want to hear me say it? I’ll say it. Here it is; from the blackest
part of my heart. I am sorry.
Warden: Not buying it.
Megamind: (sighs) I don’t blame you. I’ve terrorized the city countless times.
Created a hero who’s turned out to be a villain. I lied to Roxanne and… my best
friend, Minion, I treated like dirt. But please don’t make this city, don’t make
Roxanne pay for my wrongdoings.
[Warden opens the cell door]
Hal: Hey, Metro losers. This is Metro Tower. They say it’s supposed to be a symbol
of our city’s strength. But for me, it’s a reminder of the day this woman
ferociously ripped out my heart! And I hate reminders!
(Tighten flies down and cuts the entire tower in half, causing it to start falling
with Roxxane still tied to it)
Roxanne Ritchie: Please don’t do this. I know there’s still good in you, Hal.
Hal: You’re so naive, Roxy. You see the good in everybody, even when it’s not
there. You’re living a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny. There is no Tooth Fairy.
And there is no Queen of England. This is the real world, and you need to wake up!
(Suddenly, black smoke begins to rise up. “Welcome to the Jungle” plays. Thousands
of brainbots fly up and start congregating into a massive head as megamind speaks)
Megamind: Presentation!
(Tighten charges at him but Megamind drops, landing on a hovercycle as Tighten is
trapped by the giant head)
Hal: Well that was easy! Looks like there’s only one loose end now.
(He kicks a bus at Roxanne, but before it hits, it’s cut in half. Metro Man
appears.)
Metro Man: Please, let’s have a little respect for public transportation.
Roxanne Ritchie: You came back!
Metro Man: You were right, Roxanne. I never should have left.
Hal: Woah! I…I thought you were dead!
Metro Man: My death was…greatly exaggerated. So, you’re the punk I’ve heard about.
(Tighten flees while Metro Man flies after him. Roxanne holds Megamind.)
Hal: Pretty sneaky, sis. But there’s only one person I know who calls this town
Metrocity.
Megamind: Oops.
Hal: You.
(The crowd flees. Megamind tries to fight Tighten, but his suit shatters upon
impact.)
Hal: This is the last time you make a fool out of me!
Megamind: I made you a hero. You did the fool thing all by yourself!
(Hal punches Megamind into the wall next to the car, cracking concrete. Megamind,
now injured, crawls towards the car)
Hal: You’re so pathetic. No matter what side you’re on, you’re always the loser.
Megamind: There’s a benefit to losing. You get to learn from your mistakes.
[he then jumps into the invisible car and grabs the diffuser gun, leaving Hal
confused. Megamind grabs the gun, but it is warming up. ]
Megamind: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! Minion, if I live, I will kill you.
(Hal punches through the door and yanks it off, Megamind still on the door. The
invisibility wears off and Tighten sees him again)
Megamind: (Nervously chuckles and locks the door)
Hal: Enjoy your flight! (He hurls the door high into the air, Megamind still on it)
Roxanne Ritchie: Megamind!
(As Megamind falls to his death, his voiceover from before returns)
Megamind: So, this is how it ends. Normally I’d chalk this up to my last glorious
failure.
(As he’s falling, Megamind notices he’s falling towards a water fountain. He has a
realization and takes out his dehydration gun, turning himself into a cube)
Megamind: But not today! What can I say? Old habits die hard.
Hal: Say bye-bye, Roxy.
(The cube lands in the water in front of Tighten, rehydrating into Megamind with
the de-fuser gun now fully powered)
Megamind: Ollo!
(He sticks the gun into Hal, extracting his super powers, turning him back into his
old self)
Megamind: Minion!
Minion: I can’t see, it’s cold and warm, and dark and light.
Megamind: It’s me, Minion. I’m right here.
Minion: We’ve had a lot of adventures together, you and I.
Megamind: We have, Minion.
Minion: [coughing] Oh…I mean most of them ended in horrible failure, but we won
today. Didn’t we, sir?
Megamind: Yes, Minion. We did it. Thanks to you.
Minion: Code; we’re the good guys now.
Megamind: Code; I guess we are.
Minion: Oh…oh…I…I’m going! I think this…this is it! I’m going, going far…!
[he shakes and coughs and finally closes his eyes.]
(Megamind gently picks up Minion, and simply tosses him in the water fountain)
Minion: You know, I’m feelin’ much better now. I guess I just needed a swim.
Megamind: He had you, didn’t he?
Roxanne Ritchie: [relieved] Whew!
Megamind: Classic Minion. Don’t give me that face. Reels you in with that little
face. Look at that face.
Minion: We did it! We did it!
(All laughing)
Megamind: Fist pump!
Roxanne Ritchie: We did it!
Megamind: We won! We won! We won!
[he hugs Roxanne. The crowd gets close as they’re celebrating their victory over,
scaring Megamind into pulling his gun out]
Megamind: Funny, I guess destiny is not the path given to us… but the path we
choose for ourselves.
(Pan to Megamind at a similar ceremony to the one Metro Man had at the beginning of
the movie)
Megamind: [voice over] I have to admit, being good has its perks.
Roxanne Ritchie: You know, you look pretty good in white.
Mayor: Megamind, if you ple-(screams)
(Megamind spins around with his gun, shooting the ribbon and revealing the giant
Megamind statue. A man in a large trench coat shuffles in front of a man in the
crowd)