Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any

time or 7 days a week. Is this development more positive or negative?

In light of the proliferation of mobile phones, it is true that people these days can
receive and make calls at any given time. While this can indeed be
disadvantageous to certain extent, I believe that substantial benefits it offered to
users are far more significant.
On the one hand, the downside of people having their phone at their disposal are
definite. One foremost problem is that the growing popularity of cell phones cause
its users many disturbances. To clarify, unplanned calls would distract phone users
and decrease their work productivity. This is compounded by unsolicited
telemarketing calls from salespeople or robots in order to promote their products,
since this deprives many people of their privacy.
On the other hand, (notwithstanding the aforementioned problems), I am
convinced that the availability of mobile handsets brings about a variety of
advantages. First, these high-tech gadgets empower people to interact with each
other regardless of geographic boundaries, resulting in a huge amount of savings.
Second, in terms of emergency cases, prompt calls are imperative. For instance, if
an individual has had an accidents, phone calls from nearby people could save their
lives by making immediate connection with a hospital.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the ubiquity of call phones can unequivocally
entail privacy-related drawbacks. However, the benefits of it are far weightier as
providinged instantaneous communications plays an integral role in today’s world.
It’s a good essay, must be worth at least 7.5 or 8. I have suggested a few
alterations, mainly word endings or the inclusion of articles such as ‘a’ and ‘the’.
Actually, the missing ‘the’ was in the question. ‘notwithstanding the
aforementioned problems’ is a particularly verbse phrase and, in any case, says the
same thing as ‘On the other hand…’ You certainly don’t need both.