i want to toughen up.

i dont want to make my mom worry nor my family ever again but
i keep doing so out of habit, i really wanna break it and be independent, i feel
weak, pathetic and useless person in my family who only causes emotional trouble,
my only way to cope with my feelings is to tell somebody about, its healthy in a
way but doing it to much annoys a person, especially my mother, poor her, i feel so
bad that she has to keep up with my emotional baggage, i want to stop but i know i
cant break a habit so easily, ill start so slow, write down things that frustates
in me in my laptop or any device i have in the moment,try to refrain from speaking
about my emotions, if i feel negative emotions supress them as best you can and
dont lash out,
dont say what you are actually feeling at that time and say you're fine to not ruin
the fun, keep everything to yourself, be independent, you have the whole summer,
two whole months to change and you can do so wiht just little steps, this is all
i'll write for today, i feel way better and less guilty, hopefully i'll do what i
say i'll do.