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GODDESS TRIALS
The Demi Chronicles
A. LONERGAN
Copyright © 2018 by A. Lonergan
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or
mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without
written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a
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To my readers, without you, this would be nothing.
 PROLOGUE

A rtemis

“Y ou don ’ t understand , A rtemis , you can ’ t meddle !” S haskia threw

her arms in the air. “Stop trying to go see her.”
I paced in front of the daughter of Athena, agitated. She was
wise, but sometimes she put herself where she didn’t belong. More
times than not, Shaskia meddled. She had no place to tell me that.
Athena had given me her daughter when mine had been taken
from me by Apollo, a daughter to raise, to make the pain lessen. It
hadn’t helped as much as I had wanted but as I looked at the
woman, I saw a part of myself. She had been one of my greatest
treasures, one of the greatest gifts and, I had only thrown her away
when it came to my line. My girls had blinded me for entirely too
long, and I felt terrible for it. I knew Shaskia understood though she
didn’t have her own children.
I had pushed for her to be the best she could be but she didn’t
want the same things. She had been trained to be a military genius,
and she threw it all away. She threw it all away for a man that didn’t
love her. He had used and manipulated her. He had given her
promises of a family and affection, just to turn around and try to
slaughter the valley. He had been the first of Apollo’s men to
infiltrate what I had worked so hard for.
 After that, I never saw her love anything again. I never saw her
try to love anything but knowledge. She thought that if she had
known more, she would have been able to prevent what happened.
She would’ve been able to see the liar he was. She threw herself
into battle training once more and got herself up to date with all the
changing technologies.
I looked down on the valley and wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe
I was having this conversation again. Shaskia glanced to me with
pity before trying to change the conversation.
“Have you heard from my mother lately?” She asked, hesitantly.
We didn’t usually talk about her mother, but I knew she was trying
to deflect from my pain.
“No, last I heard she was hanging out in the galleries in Europe,
strategizing for the Russians. I don’t know, a covert mission.”
Shaskia didn’t say anything and eventually left me to my
thoughts. I watched her interact with the new families settling in and
the smile that lit up her face. She lived through them. She didn’t
know what she was missing, and I wished that I could have changed
it all for her.

A nother one of my descendants had lost to my malicious brother . I

appeared to her in her final moments and held her trembling hands
in mine as she faded to the underworld. I had hoped that she would
have been the one to win it all. That her family would win this round
and so would I. But no such luck. We had lost again, and this time,
there was no one left to take the torch, and I was almost relieved.
No more death, no more heartbreak and hopefully the end would
come too. I wouldn’t have to watch from afar and cry in secret over
them. Each face etched into my memory.
Until I heard the soft crying. The crying of a baby.
A newborn baby.
But there was no way it could be. I had watched this one like a
hawk. I would have known it if she had lain with a man. But there,
in between the dying woman’s legs was a new babe. Her bright eyes
already too alert and ready for the treacherous world.
Apollo’s men had killed one of my young children while in
childbirth and here were the fruits of her labors, laying on the tall,
bright grass.
It had been an eternity since I had held a child, much less a
newborn. I wasn’t so sure I knew what to do with her. Her eyes
watched me intently, and I knew she was going to do great things. I
saw it in her bright eyes that if it weren’t her that was going to
change everything, it would be her daughter.
I scooped the wiggling child into my arms and shed a tear for the
descendant laying at my feet. I wondered for a brief moment if she
would feel pain over missing her child’s life like I did.
I knew there were eyes everywhere and Apollo thought he won,
but his men would be back for the body, soon enough. I ran through
the woods at speeds I didn’t know I was capable of anymore. Too
afraid to use magic to get the baby to where she needed to be.
I let out a silent plea for help and waited at the base of the
mountain. A woman with white hair appeared immediately and made
me spare no time. Her lavender eyes were curious as I unwrapped
my cloak to reveal the sleeping infant.
Her eyes held fear and uncertainty. “Please, Shaskia, her mother
is gone.”
Shaskia shook her head at me. “She is one of them. One of your
descendants.” She shook her head again. “You know the rules. She
cannot be here. What did I tell you about meddling?”
“She will die. She will die alone. She will die with me. I have
never asked you favors, but I have given you so much. I tried my
hardest to give you a child of your own. It wasn’t my fault what
happened” I looked at the jagged mountains. Gods didn’t beg, but I
didn’t have much to offer. If I were found with the child, I would
have to give my life, as well as the child's.
When I looked back to Shaskia, tears shone in her eyes. “Is she
the one?”
As I handed the baby over, I knew. “No, it will be her daughter.”
 CHAPTER 1
JE S S A

I t had taken him a few days to warm back up to me and the rest of
the living. We hadn’t even considered going to the Valley just yet.
After the war on Apollo’s prison and Keenan’s death, Crawley
couldn’t face his mother. His face would show nothing but panic
when I would mention it. I doubted the valley would wait any longer
for us.
Crawley paced the floor in front of me. His brows were furrowed
and his posture rigid. He raked his fingers through his hair and
sighed then he shook his head and started pacing again. At the rate
he was going, he was going to wear a hole in the rug.
Ever since Crawley had thrown me over his shoulder caveman
style and dragged me back to the cabin, we hadn’t left. I didn’t mind
it for the most part, but I was worried about Shaskia and the rest of
the people in the valley. They needed to mourn Keenan’s death and
celebrate his life, as Crawley had mentioned before he had thrown
us through the portal.
When we had made it back through, I had more than expected
the fridge to have been empty but it was stocked full of fresh fruits
and veggies. I had whipped up some quick meals and tried to force
feed the beast brooding at me. He had been mostly silent, but I
didn’t expect much more. I had always wanted siblings and knew it
would have ripped me apart to have them torn from my life.
Crawley also hadn’t left my side. He had slept on the floor in my
bedroom and even tried to follow me into the bathroom on the first
night. I had put my foot down there, shocked he had even thought
of it. But not too shocked. Things had gotten pretty heated between
us the night of the festival in the Centaur’s village. If I thought about
it enough, I could still taste the wine on my lips from his mouth.
I shook the thoughts away, knowing they would do me no good.
We had too much to focus on, and I couldn’t let my wants get in the
way of what was important. His family needed him more than I did.
I unfolded myself from the couch and grabbed his arms to plant
him in place. It was the first time I had touched him since he had
gone caveman on me. He had worked himself up so much that he
was panting.
“We need to go. You have to be there for your mother.” Crawley
wouldn’t look me in the eye as I spoke. He knew what he needed to
do and he was too hard-headed about it. He clenched his jaw.
“If I had told him to go back... this wouldn’t have happened.” He
snarled.
I could hardly believe the words that left my mouth. “If Keenan
had gone back, it would be me you would be burying and all this
would be gone and done with.”
His face crumbled. “That’s what makes me the terrible person.”
He threw himself down on the rug as I began to pace this time.
“You are not a terrible person! Why would you say that!” I threw
my hands in the air as he buried his face in his hands.
“Because...” He looked up at me with defeated eyes. “Because if
it had been you, I would have followed you to the underworld. I
wouldn’t have handled it this well. I would have done anything in my
power and Shaskia’s to bring you back. I would have rounded up
every sorcerer and healer on this side of the map and would have
given my soul for you to be here with me.”
I stared at him shocked. I couldn’t even form a reply, but I knew
I needed to walk away. That there was nothing I could say to make
any of this better or easier. Just as I was turning, my foot wrapped
in the rug and I crashed into Crawley. Gone was the burden he had
been carrying, replacing it with a look of hope and guilt. He brushed
a strand of my hair behind my ear and leaned in close.
 Just as I could feel his breath on mine, a blinding light flashed
along the back wall of the cabin, and Cristoff’s voice echoed around
us. “Thanks for leaving me when I asked for a favor, Crawley.” His
footsteps pounded on the hardwood floors as he approached us still
tangled up on the floor. “Rude.”
I pressed my forehead against Crawley's shoulder and inhaled
deeply. Crawley was quick to answer him, “What’s rude is your
timing.”
When I looked up, he was shaking his head. “No, no, you’re
supposed to be mourning, not playing hanky-panky. Hmm.” He gave
us an exasperated look before turning quickly and heading toward
the kitchen.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Cristoff would be Cristoff, and I couldn’t
complain about the transition he had had since his Voodoo in the
centaur village. He would never be a merman again, and I didn’t
know if I had caused his sorcerer side to leave as well but I doubted
it, seeing as he got into our cabin like it was no big deal.
Thanks, Hecate.
At that thought, I wondered if Keenan’s death had changed the
magic on the cabin. I scrambled to my feet, away from Crawley and
ran to the kitchen.
“How hard was it for you to come through the portal to the
cabin?” I brushed my hair out of my face.
“Since I have never been here before, pretty damn hard but! I
focused on your energy and Crawleys, and after that, it was a little
easier besides the electric zaps that came through me as I passed
through the door and before you acknowledged me.” He shook his
body down in disgust. “You guys should really get that fixed, could
have killed me!”
I let out a sigh of relief. I wished I understood this house and
wanted that Keenan had told me more of it. Then an idea struck my
mind. I rushed to the office in the hall, and it opened without
hesitation but what I saw on the bed had me in tears. There were
several envelopes spread out. Each of our names was scrawled out
on the white paper.
Crawley
 Jessa
Mira
No one had told me their mother’s name, but I had no doubt that
it was Mira. I scooped up the letters, no longer worried about the
cabin. It could wait, and I had a feeling Keenan had kept a journal
about his discoveries
When I left his office and made my way back to the kitchen, I
noticed Cristoff was cooking and Crawley was watching him with
curious eyes. He sat at the bar and watched all of his movements. I
laid the letters out in front of him on the counter. His brows rose,
and he snatched up his envelope and disappeared from the room.
The only note that was left was mine.
I gave Cristoff a tentative smile and fled from the kitchen as well.
I traveled quickly up the stairs, and as much as I had expected
Crawley to be in my room, he wasn’t. He had fled in the same
direction, and I couldn’t imagine where else he would have gone.
The bedroom he had been sleeping in before had the door open.
The only place left was the nursery and Keenan’s room. I gulped and
closed the door behind me.
I carefully tore the envelope open and sunk to the floor. I folded
my legs underneath me and took a deep breath. I unfolded the
letter and wrapped it back up. I didn’t know if I was ready to read it
just yet. I leaned my head against the wall and tried to hold the
tears in that were welling up in my eyes.
I heard something crash in the room next to mine and flinched.
The tears I had been holding back spilled forward. A roar of pain
and turmoil vibrated the walls, and I curled into myself. The pain
echoed through me in a new way. The pain Crawley was
experiencing hurt my soul, but it helped me feel a sense of relief. He
needed to let it out. Bottling the pain up wouldn’t help him, wouldn’t
help us move forward and wouldn’t help when he needed to face his
mother.
The movement stopped in Keenan’s room, and with that, I was
finally able to read the letter laying on my lap.
Jessa,
W ell , I guess if you ’ re reading this , A pollo has finally taken my life .
I have written these letters every single time we have left, knowing
that my days were not promised and knowing that you need
answers each time we return. There has also been a piece of me
that has prayed for this moment. Prayed for the end to finally take
me. Every time we have set out I have hoped to not return, and I
guess by writing these letters, I feel like I have sealed my fate and
I’m alright with this. I miss Chloe, and I know she was the love of
my life. I loved you, but it was a different love. The Fates didn’t have
you in my cards, no matter how much I could have wished for it.
Crawley is going to need you. He is going to need you to pull his
head out of his ass. He will push you away and be the snarky
bastard he is but don’t let him stick by his side. The Fates have
smiled on you both, together. The gods push you together not
realizing they are doing The Fates business. Don’t drive him away
because of the gods. Keep him closer because you never know
what’s around the bend. When he realizes what he has in front of
him, he will love you like you deserve to be loved. Don’t mourn me,
don’t wallow in my death, no matter the way I go. Know that I am
happy in the underworld with my family. Keep Crawley in line, he
needs you.
-Keenan

P.S. T he cabin is slightly temperamental . I t ’ ll answer to your

feelings and continuously adapt. This is now your home.

M y tears smeared the ink on the page as I tried to get it together .

There was no use. I was sobbing now, and there was no going back.
I pushed the paper away from me and tried my hardest to think the
best, to not mourn him, but I couldn’t help it. There weren’t typically
visiting hours in the underworld.
 Just as I was pulling myself together, Crawley opened the door.
His clothes were ripped and barely hanging onto his body, that was
damp with sweat. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and as hot
as he was, there was too much emotion on his face for me to
approach him.
He was beside me in seconds and wrapped his arms around me.
His body trembled as he held onto me for dear life. His voice was a
raspy whisper when he began to speak, “It’s time.”
“His words moved something inside of you, didn’t they?” I ran my
fingers through the scruffy hair at the nape of his neck.
“Something like that.”
 CHAPTER 2
CR AWLE Y

H is words had changed my mind , there was no doubt about that . M y

chest hurt like my heart had been ripped out, but Keenan had been
right in his letter. I didn’t need to mourn him, though my anger and
tears said differently.
I hadn’t realized how much I had needed his words, his goodbye
and his want for death. It was probably the most depressing letter I
had ever read and to know my own brother was suffering through
that made it so much worse.
I inhaled deeply taking in the faint smell of pine on Jessa’s skin.
It was just barely there, but just enough to make me smile. She
rubbed her hands up and down my back before I felt like I could
take on the world again. When I looked into her eyes, they were full
of sadness. I had been selfishly focusing on myself and didn’t take
into consideration that she was hurting too. I picked her hand up to
mine and kissed her palm before I stood up and made my way out
of the bedroom.
I took the stairs two at a time feeling a new sense of purpose for
the first time in days. Cristoff quickly tried to ruin that. “I thought I
heard a crash up there, but this level of kinky is beyond me.” His
hand went up and down in front of me as he chowed down on a
sandwich with his other hand.
“Bug off.” I rolled my eyes at him and pulled some fruit out of the
fridge as he smirked at his cleverness.
 “Which bedroom is mine?” Cristoff said around a mouthful of
sandwich.
“None of them.”
He choked. “But you said!”
“I’m gonna find a place for you to stay, but it won’t be here.” I
popped a grape into my mouth.
“Oh, I see!” He waved his sandwich around like it was a trophy.
“You want this place all to both of you.” He waggled his eyebrows at
me.
I threw a grape at him in reply, and it hit him between his eyes.
“Bow-chicka-wow-wow!” When he started to thrust his hips I had
enough. I flew off of the stool and wrapped my hands around his
neck.
Jessa cleared her throat from the stairs, and I dropped my
hands. “We don’t need two murderers around here.”
Cristoff gulped down the rest of his sandwich while observing
Jessa. “Murder?”
“You heard it right.” Jessa leaned against the wall, utterly content
with his discomfort.
“War doesn’t count.” He cocked his head like he had made a valid
point.
“I’m not talking about war.” She smirked at him. “I’m sure you’ve
done things you aren’t proud of, and Gemma had it coming.”
“Gemma? The Gemma? Apollo’s daughter, Gemma?” He raised
his eyebrows and gulped down some water.
“Yes, she came after me, and I took her life into my own hands,
literally.” Jessa gave me a look of boredom. I was sure I hadn’t
heard this story, but I knew she would continue to scare Cristoff, and
I was more than okay watching his reaction.
“That’s where she went...” Cristoff popped open a bag of chips
and seemed to be lost in thought.
“What do you mean? You know her?” I scratched my face
nervously.
“What mermaid hasn’t heard of Gemma The Demigod. She’s
killed many mermaids and our offspring. She hunted down our
villages along the coast and would kill the babies first.” He crunched
down on a chip before becoming very serious. “You did something
that no one has been able to do. You have saved so many children
by one little act. We were her favorite past time.”
Jessa gave me a surprised smile before taking the container of
grapes and going to the sofa. “What’s the game plan?”
“We’ll leave tomorrow, I’ll send Shaskia word to expect us a little
early.”
She laughed at my words. “Early? We are very late.”
“No, early, she wasn’t expecting us for another week. That’s what
I told her.”
She didn’t say anything and continued to eat the fruit. Cristoff
watched me with curious eyes before opening his annoying mouth
again.
“So, when are we leaving?” He leaned against the counter and
raised his eyebrows.
“You aren’t coming with us.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
He laughed nervously. “You are not leaving me alone in this
Voodoo castle.” He shivered violently to show me his discomfort.
“The Valley has nothing to offer you.”
Cristoff scoffed. “I’m so sure. There are probably all sorts of
ladies just dying for some new excitement.” He waggled his brows.
Jessa laughed from the living room. “Those ladies do not want a
piece of you.”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Don’t be so sure of that. Now that
I have my human bearings in order, I’m very gratifying.”
It was my turn to scoff. I had never heard someone so full of
themselves. Cristoff cleared his throat before speaking, “If you’d
rather, Jessa and I can get more aquatinted here while you go
handle your business.”
“You wouldn’t think of it,” I growled under my breath.
“Don’t give me a chance to.” He sliced a piece of cheese and
wagged it at me. “She’s a catch. A damaged catch but a catch none
the less. If you don’t snatch her up, someone else will. Leave it to
Zeus, he’ll screw it all up for you. Just watch.”
N eedless to say , C ristoff tagged along , much to my disapproval . T he
only good thing I could say about it was that he was happy and not
a grumpy fart like he had been before his human transformation.
The portal spit us out at the base of the mountain, and I had the
most vigorous bout of de ja voo hit me. When I looked to Jessa, the
woman I saw was much different than the girl I had previously
brought here. Her feet were planted in the grass and her arms
folded over her chest. Her brows were furrowed as she observed the
hike ahead of us. Cristoff rubbed his hands together in front of
himself, gleefully. It was endearing and annoying all at the same
time.
I brushed my hair from my forehead and trudged forward. There
would be no more delaying. Jessa’s voice interrupted my progress.
“Why didn’t the portal just deliver us in there already?”
“Shaskia had extra security measures put in since Ana tried to go
back home.” I watched her out of the corner of my eye as I spoke.
Her jaw went slack a little, and she licked her bottom lip nervously. I
sniffed the air, waiting for her fear to hit me like usual. Instead of
concern, all I could smell was confidence and a little bit of
nervousness underneath.
Jessa continued to walk past me and up the dirt trail through the
trees. “You accept my answer with no questions? This is a Jessa I
haven’t met yet.” I watched her walk even faster and loved how
agitated she was getting. She would just walk faster and faster, and
the view would just keep getting better.
She glanced over her shoulder and paused. “I wondered where
she would go. I didn’t think she would try to go home.”
“So, you’re admitting to letting her go?” Cristoff leaned against a
tree and picked at his fingernails.
She looked anywhere but him, “I didn’t think it was a big deal, I
never heard what happened to Jericho. Even though I was the one
that should have gotten that right. Hades, with the way Ana was
when I found her, she might have had the right to kill him over any
of us!”
“Keenan felt like he deserved the right to remove his head from
his shoulders. He said he needed to, he needed to avenge you.”
 She nodded. “Keenan saw something different when I came
home. Jericho had broken me, and Keenan saw all the pieces.” I
went to open my mouth, to say something about how I had seen
her changes as well but she held a hand up to me. “You see the put
together parts. You see the aftermath. He saw the starving, broken
girl, he saw the new scarring and the clumps of hair and dirt in his
bathtub. If I didn’t get the chance to wipe that piece of trash from
this world, I’m grateful Keenan was the one that got to do it. He
needed the closure just as much as I did.”
 CHAPTER 3
P ROME T H E US

I watched her from afar . S he was just as beautiful as the day I had
left. Her red hair was tied up tightly, and her face was pinched. It
had been so long since I had last seen her, I wondered if this was
her usual attire now. She hadn’t aged a day, and I knew it had to do
with the fact she lived in the Valley and probably Zeus, though I
didn’t want him to tarnish my thoughts of her. Sadness floated
around her in waves, and I wondered what had happened that had
taken the smile from her radiant face.
She spoke with Shaskia and tears flowed down her cheeks. I
started to go to her, but I couldn’t let my presence be known just
yet. I pushed myself back into the cave's shadows that I could learn
more about the time I had been away. I had wanted to see the
world, and after so many years, I had immersed myself with so
many cultures, I didn’t know which one I had liked more. But I knew
one thing, it wasn’t anything like being near the sad woman.
I remembered the day I met her like it was yesterday, rather
than 30 years prior.

I had been chained to the top of the mountain for hundreds of years ,
I couldn’t keep track with all the pain I had endured. The eagle
came every day at the same time and ripped my liver from its loins
and left me to bleed. Though I cried for death, it never happened.
Day in and day out, it was the same thing. After a hundred years, I
had stopped screaming, though sometimes the eagle would try to
shake it up and take something else, like my heart. When he did
that, I would cry out again. Endless torment was what Zeus had in
store for me.
Then one day, the eagle didn’t come back, and a human took his
place. His skin was dark, and he wore a loincloth. He saw the scars
on my now dark body and shuffled forward to free me from the
chains. I stumbled and wobbled like a baby giraffe until the same
man caught me and helped me walk. Even though I had been
starved for hundreds of years, I was sure my weight was a bit
overwhelming as he brought me down the mountain. In the
distance, I could smell smoke and heard a few pops going off.

T hough I smiled at the smell of smoke and my handy work , the man
flinched and helped me hide in the trees with him. A group of light-
skinned men trudged forward right in front of the trees we hid in. A
few of them carrying animals over their shoulders. My savior
watched the men with hate in his eyes. He hadn’t spoken, but I had
heard it in his thoughts, “White men.”
He brought me back home to his village where they nursed me
back to health and helped me learn their native tongue. As years in
the town passed by, I realized they had always thought I was one of
their own. A child had wondered off twenty years before they found
me and they assumed he had come back, like me. All I could do was
smile and shake my head at the accusations but what would it do to
deny them their happiness? They deserved a little bit so eventually, I
stopped denying and when the first elder died, then the second and
then the other members in the village. They saw that I wasn’t the
boy that had wandered off but indeed something they didn’t
understand. I didn’t age. I didn’t change, and I didn’t hide it from
the people, my people. They had called me ASHKII DIGHIN- sacred
child.
But as more of the people in the village came and went to the
underworld, I knew it was about time for me to venture out into the
outside world. I took on a human name, Alma.
The Navajos in my village cringed at the sound of it. Said it didn’t
sound right coming from the mouth but I laughed, I needed a semi-
normal name to find a place with the white men if I needed to. I
grabbed what little things I had possessed and said my goodbyes to
the people that had protected me, loved me and watched over me
for the last hundred years. As I left, many had fear in their eyes and
others had hope. Either hope I would come back or hope that their
kindness would be repaid back. I always made sure it had. I made
promises of return and adjusted the leather pants I wore. They had
survived a few decades, they had been a gift from my people, and
they had held up very well. I tucked my white T-shirt into them,
proud.
I hadn’t known what I had wanted when I left the village.
Perhaps it had been freedom, since I had realized Zeus was over my
punishment and not coming after me. Maybe it was exploration
calling to me. I had been stuck at the top of the mountain in this
world for so long, but I had never seen the wonders of it. The
mountains had been the first thing to call me, call me crazy but I
wanted to be able to look down from them.
The hike hadn’t been much, it was a rather easy one, and as I
sat and looked out over the vast plot of trees, something caught my
eye in the woods below. It looked like fire, weaving in and out of the
shadows. It moved so fluidly and gracefully, I couldn’t take my eyes
off of it.
It reminded me of the fire I had gifted the humans at the dawn
of time. Then the flame became a face, the most beautiful face I
had ever seen. Her pale complexion wasn’t anything I had
experienced before, and her bright green eyes were transfixing. She
hadn’t noticed me yet, but I watched as she continued her hike,
never slowing down or taking a break. She was relentless.
I finally decided that watching her would have come off as
creepy, so I started up the mountain at a slower pace and tried to
make as much noise as I could. If I was going to meet this goddess,
I wasn’t going to creep her out. I had seen what had happened to
the men in the village that had followed the women through the
shadows. The trials weren’t pretty.
By the time she was starting to catch up to me, I had let out a
massive yawn (fake, of course, this was nothing) and let a twig snap
under my boot. When she finally made it close enough to see me,
her face broke out in a huge smile. Her straight, pearly teeth were
blinding.
“I thought I heard someone else here,” She pulled a canteen
from her backpack and leaned against a tree while she drank. There
was a slight tilt in her voice, one I hadn’t heard before. Though, I
hadn’t been out of the village much.
I couldn’t say anything but smile back at her. I didn’t know how
to act around women, much less goddesses like her. I just gaped,
like a fish out of water.
“You’ve been following me, sir?” She quirked her eyebrow,
amused.
“Umm, no. I was actually ahead of you and stopped to see who
was following me.” I quirked an eyebrow at her now.
“Well, then, I’m Mira.” She held her porcelain hand out to me. I
took it into my larger, darker hand. “What has you all the way out
here?”
“I’m Alma.” She made a funny face at my name, and I could have
kicked myself, of course, it was strange to the Navajo and the white
folk. “I’ve been stuck in my village for too long, it was time for me to
meet some... white folk.”
The corners of her mouth picked up, amused. “You won’t meet
many of those out here.” She looked around herself, nervous that
she had said that out loud, I imagined.
“I need to see the world too, but I’m sure you’re the most
interesting white folk around, I prefer your company over the
masses.” I went to stand and throw my backpack over my shoulder.
“You’re going to be a nomad like your ancestors?” The people
from my village would have been offended by her words but they
were honest and sincere and I preferred that over small talk.
“Something like that.” She turned to leave, and I felt myself
panic, I needed to know if I would see her again. “Wait, can I see
you once more?”
“You’re a proper man, aren’t you, Alma?” I shrugged at her
words, I would do or say anything to get her to stay.
“That matters not, I want to see you.” I took a step toward her,
and I saw a twinkle in her eye.
“Meet me at lovers point tomorrow.” She pointed into the
distance. “You can’t miss it, it’s a giant rock that resembled a bed.
We joke that the gods escaped to have affairs there.”
“Miss. Mira, don’t you think you’re moving a little too quickly?
Inviting me to a bed so soon?” I laughed as I spoke and her face lit
up with a blush of embarrassment. It was radiant.
“It’s a good neutral point for us to meet. Most of the villages
around here aren't too far from there.” My heart skipped a beat as
she spoke. Then she brushed her fiery hair over her shoulder, and
she was gone. My heart had gone with her.

I had known I was a goner since that very moment and every moment
after at lover’s point. We had laughed together, cried together and
spent glorious nights with each other until one night she didn’t come
like she had promised and I waited for her. For years we had lived
for these moments. I had lived for her but she never came, and I
dreaded the worst.
The next morning she ran to me, with tears running down her
face. She was pregnant. I was overjoyed, but she was not. The only
thing I could think of was that it was another mans. Anger filled my
gut, but before I could lash out angrily, she took my hand in hers
and told me of her first son. That when his father found out, he
would take him from her. He was a very jealous man, and though
they weren’t together anymore, he was possessive. A woman named
Shaskia snuck her out of their valley, but she wouldn’t be able to
hide her secret for long.
The pregnancy glow had already wrapped its way around her.
Her ex would take her first born, and there was nothing I could do
to stop it. I held her as she cried, knowing all I could do was be her
comfort.
As her belly got bigger and rounder with my child, I knew I
would have to tell her who I was.
What I was.
I wasn’t just a human, Navajo escapee. I was a god, a punished,
exiled god that had no business falling in love with a mortal like I
had. Just as I had rehearsed and planned the words I was going to
tell her, she never showed up.
She never came back. I sat heartbroken on the rock, not knowing
what had happened to her. Sad; I left the mountains and my village,
not sure where to go but knowing that if I stayed, I would hunt for
her. Gods played by a different set of rules and I didn’t need blood
on my hands from her ex.
Every 6 months I returned until finally she was there, holding a
toddler with tears streaming down her face. She wasn’t as lithe as
she had been before but Mira was just as radiant, she had the
perfect hourglass figure now. Her red locks were braided around her
head, and tracks of tears were running down her face.
She smiled at the toddler on her lap and kissed his head. I had
been angry with the thought of the child being another man's, but
as I gazed at the little boy, there was no doubt, he was mine. His
long hair hung past his shoulders like mine did and his dark skin was
the opposite of his mother’s. His dark eyes searched the woods
around him before they landed on me. He cocked his head slowly,
observing me from a child’s view. That was when Mira turned to me,
and a sad smile lit up her face.
“He took your first born, didn’t he?” My words sounded like
gravel. Rough and grating.
Tears flowed from her eyes some more. She didn’t respond.
“What’s his name?” I asked. I couldn’t take my eyes off the child
in front of me.
“Keenan.” Her green eyes met mine. “It’s a name of power.”
“Indeed it is.” I made my way to the only family I had ever
known and let Mira’s love wrap around me for the last time. I knew I
couldn't stay. It wasn’t her or the child on her lap that had pushed
me to leave but the life I didn’t know anything about, the son I
didn’t want to tarnish. Zeus was a man of revenge, the last thing he
needed to know was my weaknesses.

T he memories were torment . I couldn ’ t change the past , but I planned

on improving so much now. I wanted more for us, I needed more
with Mira. I had come back to stay, knowing that Zeus no longer
cared about the fire incident. It had taken much prying and slinking
around to find the information, but now that I had it, I was a free
man. I watched her from the shadows just like before, but I couldn’t
wait any longer. I made my way down the mountain, found all the
footholds that I had paid good money to discover. I didn’t know the
chants, but it didn’t stop me from finding my way through the dark
tunnels. It had taken hours longer than needed but I had seen her. I
had found my fire.
 CHAPTER 4
JE S S A

E verything happened so quickly . W e made it into the V alley without

hiccups. Everyone but Cristoff was welcomed warmly, though I was
cautious about it because of our departure before. There had to be a
few rotten apples in the Valley that were angry with how we had left
and what had come to pass during our very short stay. Not much
had changed besides the fact that there was no more snow and I
wasn’t freezing. Crawley and his mother spoke quietly while Shaskia
looked me over. It was still so strange that she was not my
grandmother. It was a painful thought.
She clucked her tongue. “Stop pining after the beast.”
“You probably shouldn’t tell me what to do.” The sass from the
little child I had been came back with a vengeance.
Shaskia laughed. “You probably shouldn’t bring that attitude
around here, especially when you’re the one that brought an
unsolicited guest into our valley.”
“Don't look at me. Apparently, he gave Crawley his word.” I
crossed my arms over my chest and watched the children run
around the square until all of a sudden they stopped. They looked
over to the mountain we had climbed down. A dark-skinned man
was making his way through the footholds like it was child’s play. I
was pretty sure Crawley didn’t have that much grace descending the
side, and he had done it countless times.
Shaskia had a strange look on her face as she watched the man
move and Crawley and his mother were lost in their own talk, almost
as if they were in another world. Tears were flowing down her face,
and Crawley slipped her the envelope. They were oblivious to
everything else going on around us.
I looked back to the man and Cristoff came to join me though, if
he had started talking, I couldn’t hear a word he was staying. I was
staring at Keenan. I took a step forward, as if I were going to take
off at him when I realized it wasn’t Keenan, the worn jeans, and the
long hair. Keenan had cut off all his hair. This man was also a few
shades darker than Keenan was. Cristoff must have thought it was
him too because his eyes were full and happy. He walked past me,
we were strangers. That's when it clicked.
“Mira,” Crawley’s mother whipped around quickly, her hair making
a fiery wave. The man’s hands shook as he brushed her hair from
her face. “How is it possible? How is it possible that you look just as
radiant as you did all those summers ago?”
“Alma, what are you doing here?” Her tears had dried up and
were replaced with anger. If I had known better, I would have
guessed hate, but it seemed like a much too harsh word.
Crawley stepped in front of his mother then. “Yes, what are you
doing here and why do you resemble my brother?”
Mira’s eyes fell closed as she touched her son’s arm. “I thought
we spoke of this. You and your brother don’t share the same father.
This is Alma, Keenan’s father.”
Shaskia stood off to the side with an amused look on her face. I
wondered what she knew. Shaskia seemed to know everything,
lately. Who was this woman that I had called my grandmother for so
many years?
Mira moved Crawley out of the way and folded her arms over her
chest. Her bright green eyes shone in the sunlight. “Can you explain
to me what you are doing here? You left, remember?” She jabbed
her finger into his chest. “You left! You left with promises of
returning, and you never did! Did you know that I returned to
Lover’s Point? Did you know that I returned every day for years? In
the hope that you had just been hurt or something! Anything
besides abandoning us.”
 Alma closed his eyes. “Least you forget that I didn’t meet my son
until he was a toddler, who’s fault was that?”
It was Shaskia’s turn to step in. “Me. I didn't let her see you
anymore. Do you know what postpartum does to a woman? Do you
know how fertile a woman is after she has a baby? Do you know
anything about the way mortals work?”
I felt my eyes get big as Cristoff took a big gulp of air and I
didn’t know if I was going to be able to breathe with all the new
information that was about to drop. The tension in the air was too
thick for me to remove myself from the drama so I looked to
anywhere but them. Cristoff rocked back and forth on his feet and
gave me a nervous smile.
“Mortal?” Mira’s voice dropped and then so did everything else
about her. Where she had been angry before, she was distraught
now. Her whole face crumbled. “Who are you really?”
“I’m the same man I always was. I never lied to you, Mira.” He
pushed his hair back, away from his face.
“Don’t lie to me. Tell me who you are.” Mira crossed her arms
over her chest and leaned into Crawley. He was growling low in his
chest, and Shaskia looked amused again. It was always the
grandmas that stirred the pot.
He pushed his sleeves up and revealed the scarring on his wrists.
They looked like the skin had been burned off and healed back over
rocks. It was bumpy and charred. “I’m Prometheus.”
The breath was stolen from all of us. Mira didn’t believe it. “Show
me proof.” She waved to his stomach.
He pulled his shirt up and over his head. Sure enough, there
were claw marks all over his chest and stomach. Crawley then took a
moment to inappropriately laugh. I wasn’t sure if it was because he
was in shock or because he found something amusing. Knowing him,
it was probably both.
Crawley scrubbed his hand down his face. “You have got to be
kidding me,” Mira scowled at him as if she knew his thoughts. “You
had a baby with this man, and we all know how that is done, and
you never saw or felt the scarring!” He laughed again and decided it
was his time to leave. I considered following him but Shaskia shook
her head at me, and for whatever reason, I was needed to stay.
“Yes, I felt the scarring. I always wondered about it, but when it
came down to it, I didn’t need to know your past, I just wanted to
know you in all the small moments we had together. I knew they
were stolen times and I knew I didn’t have promises from you.
When you finally get me promises, I expected you to keep them.”
She wiped the tears from her face. “I’m upset that I never knew,
that you never shared that with me, even after I had our child but,
Zeus wanted you punished. There is a part of me that is
understanding and a part of me that is sad.”
Prometheus pulled his shirt back down and looked like he was
ready to leave before Mira started to speak again, “I always thought
you had another family, that I was just your occasional lover. Sure,
this is a lot to take in, but its better than what I have imagined all
these years.”
I figured it was time to make my leave. I had heard as much as I
needed to. Shaskia gave me a wink, and I took off. I flew through
the houses and the shops straight to the little cottage I knew would
be Crawley’s. I didn’t know how I knew, but it had his name written
all over it, on the outskirts of everyone and everything else. The
lights were off, but I knew he was there. I pushed the door open
and found him sitting on the edge of his rather large bed with his
head in his hands.
“Welcome to my humble abode.” He grumbled.
“It’s very spacious.” And it was. It was all an open floor plan with
huge cathedral ceilings and everything open but the bathroom which
had a huge opening and an even bigger tub inside. I couldn’t see
the shower, but I could image it was just as big as everything else.
“My beast requires the space. There have been times I haven’t
been able to come back to my normal self. I still have to bathe and
sleep.” He chuckled. “My beast would rather do it in the river, but I
fight him to be more civil sometimes.”
I giggled at the thought of the monstrous bear taking up the
white bathtub with a shower cap on and bubbles all over himself.
 He fell backward and looked at the ceiling. “My brother was
always more powerful than me. I didn’t understand it, I thought I
was just weaker in magic and all that voodoo because of my bear
taking so much energy. But this,” He scratched his head. “Makes it
all make sense. We are descendants from Zeus, but he was more
god than I was. I wonder if Apollo knew.”
“I doubt it, Apollo only cares about himself. He saw an opening
into our world and lives, and he took it. He took the opportunity
without asking questions. He probably wouldn’t have liked the
answer if he had known.”
He grumbled under his breath before saying something I could
understand. “I wonder why he’s here.”
I sunk down beside him on his overly soft bed. “What do you
mean? Like his end game?”
“Yes, he’s been gone this entire time, and now he shows up after
his son is dead?” Crawley threw himself backward, and because of
how soft the bed was, I didn’t even feel the impact. He waggled his
eyebrows at me, suggestively.
“Quit giving me that look, you know after they have talked that
they’ll come looking for us. Don’t get any ideas.” He tried to pull me
down, but I hopped up and evaded his arms.
“Just a little cuddle time before we have to get back to business.”
He gave me a good puppy dog pout, but I was standing by my
decision.
I shook my head and made my way to his kitchen. I was just
about to pull the door open to the fridge when someone knocked on
the front door. Crawley opened the door to a scowling Shaskia. My
face dropped. For the most part, Shaskia was either amused or
trying to stir the pot. She never looked pissed like she did now.
Her face fell when she saw me standing at the fridge, waiting for
her to say something. I raised my eyebrows at her.
“I’m glad you both kept your clothes on. Had me worried for a
second.” Crawley burst out laughing, and I just looked at her
horrified. I couldn’t believe what she was saying.
“What?” I leaned against the fridge in shock.
 “Cristoff told me that if we left you both alone for too long, we
wouldn’t see you two for a while.” Shaskia scowled again. Leave it to
Cristoff.
It was my turn to laugh and then I couldn’t stop. I was beyond
horrified but not surprised one bit. “Cristoff has a thing for theatrics.
He’s such a tool.”
“I thought he was kind of nice besides the comment about you
two. Talk about giving a woman a heart attack.” She leaned against
the doorframe, and I realized the similarities between us. Though we
weren’t blood, I had picked up on so much from her; especially my
current stance.
“Cristoff is a lot of things. We still haven’t exactly gotten the feel
for him yet.” I scratched my head and looked at Crawley for help.
“Cristoff is like that annoying, overly loyal puppy that just won’t
leave you alone.” He hit it right on the head. He was certainly
annoying.
“Anyhow, I’m not here to talk about the merman.” She waved her
hand around like she was trying to get rid of a bad smell.
“Former merman.” Crawley interrupted.
Shaskia rolled her eyes and Crawley looked back and forth
between us, as if he were looking for a resemblance. “Tonight you
need to wear your best.”
Crawley looked at me and wrinkled his nose. I could have thrown
a spatula at him. “What is she going to wear?”
Shaskia smirked. “I have her covered. Though we may not be
blood. I remember being in my prime and my figure was very similar
to Jessa’s.”
She acted like she was such an old woman. I waved my hands in
front of her body dramatically. “You look hot and barely a day over
30.”
She blushed at my words. “I’m a lot older than 30. Maybe
multiply that by 4.”
Crawley’s jaw dropped. “I have so many questions.”
“Yes, I use a moisturizer. Though, I don’t like night creams.” She
leaned against the door frame and brushed her long hair from her
shoulder.
 Crawley groaned.
“But seriously, The Elders will be there.” Shaskia turned on her
heel and was out the door.

T he walk to S haskia ’ s home was in silence , but it wasn ’ t awkward ,

just comfortable. I was pretty sure I had all of my memories back of
her, and I remembered the deep love I had for her that grew
stronger each year I spent with her, until duty called and she had to
return here.
Just as she was opening the front door, I found myself speaking,
“You aren’t worried about having me back?”
She considered my words. “No. Because of you, we have many
new allies now. They will protect us.”
“How? Aren’t they hundreds of miles away?” I asked, confused.
“Yes.” Then she pulled something out of the front of her shirt. It
was the same pendant I had around my neck. The same pendant
that had transformed for battle. “A call for help is right here. Prim
had them made for all of us. The Leaders of our people, in case we
need each other. That’s what portals are for.” She winked at me, and
I felt myself feeling overwhelmed but relieved that there was a
backup plan.
I followed her to her bedroom which had a tapestry hung on the
back wall behind the large bed in the center of the room. The fabric
showed a woman leading a hoard of men to battle. The woman was
mounting a glorious Clydesdale with her sword pointing to the
heavens. I wasn’t surprised it called to me, it was beautiful.
“That’s my mother.” Shaskia sat on the edge of her bed. She
smoothed out invisible wrinkles on the tan duvet underneath her.
“She’s magnificent.” My tone was in awe, but Shaskia’s brow was
furrowed. “What’s the matter?”
“She abandoned me.” Shaskia didn’t look up, like she was the
one guilty, instead of the victim.
“Then why do you have her behind your bed?” I sat beside her
and picked her hand up in mine, like I had done so many times as a
child.
“To remind myself of the one thing I never want to be.” She
swiped at her cheeks and ducked her head to hide the evidence of
tears, but I had seen them. Just barely. “This isn’t about me though.
I have waited so long to see this dress on anyone, anyone but me at
least.”
Shaskia hurried to her closet and whipped the doors open. It
seemed to go on for miles from where I was standing, and I knew
there had to have been magic involved. How a woman could have so
many clothes, I had no idea. I did remember at one point in my life I
would have been envious.
Before the war, before the gods, before Crawley.
She returned a few minutes later holding a dress, a dress way
too good for me. I could see the top of it peeking out from the
garment bag. It looked like it was a forest green but I couldn’t tell till
she pulled it free. It was a mermaid style gown. The front of it
dipped down low, and the back came up high. I wondered if I could
wear it backward for a moment.
I was then handed the dress that seemed way too much and
shoved into the closet. The doors squeaked as they closed and I was
left alone. I looked around myself in wonder. Everything was white. I
didn’t know how anyone managed to keep anything this clean, but it
was breathtaking.
After looking at the dress for a few seconds too long, I decided
that it couldn’t hurt to see if it fit. I stripped my clothes off quickly
and pulled the dress on. Sure enough, the neck dipped down low
between my breasts, almost to my belly button and the back hugged
my curves like a second skin. Around my knees and ankles, the
material flowed freely and swished around my feet as I turned to
look in the mirror.
I blinked.
I didn’t recognize the girl staring back at me. She was beautiful.
Her hourglass figure filled out the mermaid style dress beautifully
while her tan skin glowed softly in the light.
A knock to the door pulled me from my musings. Shaskia wasted
no time and yanked the double doors open. She paused then closed
her eyes before blinking a few times. “When I bought this dress, it
was a long time ago. This would have been very obscene, but
Artemis drew it out and had it made for me. She said weddings were
supposed to be fun, not boring and prudish. She said we are from
scandalous times. Don’t let humans pull you down.” She cleared her
throat. “When the wedding didn’t happen, I saved the dress, hoping
that one day my daughter would get to wear it.”
I looked at our reflection in the mirror and smiled sadly. “I’m not
worthy of this.”
“But you are, my Jessa.” She pulled my hair back from my face
and started to pin it half way up. “You and your mother were the
best gifts Artemis could have ever given me. When Artemis placed
your mother in my arms, I knew you two would be destined for
greatness. I’m proud to say I raised you both. My daughters.” Tears
streamed down her face in swift currents as she continued to fix my
hair.
 CHAPTER 5
CR AWLE Y

K eenan had always hated suits . H e had hated to dress up when he sat
in with the Elders, when I had never minded it. I loved getting
cleaned up every once in awhile, it made me feel good. Beast didn’t
care for it much, but I knew he would appreciate it when we got a
look at Jessa.
Shaskia would dress her in something dazzling. Knowing her
she’d put Jessa in something that would make it hard for me to keep
my hands off of her. I brushed my hair from my forehead and gelled
up, nice and slick. It fell back in a perfect pompadour. I lathered up
some shaving cream and coated my jaw. The scruff growing there
was starting to work my nerves. I shaved it clean in a few seconds
and wiped my face clean.
I pulled the suit from the bed and slid it on effortlessly. I felt
human again. I felt important. I slipped my dress shoes on next. My
feet preferred to be barefoot over the stuffy shoes but they
completed the look, and the last thing I wanted to do was make
Shaskia or the elders angry. I was exactly sure who I was more
afraid of. It was a close tie.
The front door opened behind me, and my mother’s face
appeared in the mirror. I opened my mouth to speak, but she beat
me to it.
“You look very handsome.” I closed my eyes, and she turned me
around and helped me with my tie. I wasn’t ready to see what she
was wearing because I knew she’d go over the top for the prick that
was probably waiting outside my house, listening to every word.
“Why are the Elders making us do this?” Mother sighed as I
spoke.
“This is a tradition.” She touched my hair.
I turned away from her, “We have never done this before.”
She grabbed my shoulders and rested her forehead on my back.
“Our elders have never died. It would have probably been another
hundred years before Keenan would have taken a spot or maybe
they would have opened their arms and let him join anyway. A battle
isn’t as common these days, we don’t lose our elders like in the
past.” She had a point, and I finally dared to turn around and look at
my mother.
If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she was a
goddess. Her hair spilled around her bare shoulders in soft curls
while her dress was fit for a queen. It looked like something from a
fairytale. It was a lavender ombré ball gown. She didn’t even look
old enough to be my mother. I opened my mouth, but no words
came out.
Her green eyes shone brightly, and she was smiling, which wasn’t
appropriate, but then knew the man was hanging outside. I could
smell his god stank. I clenched my teeth. Mother cupped my jaw and
forced me to look into her eyes. “I’m saddened about what tonight
brings for our family, I am distraught that this is the path The Fates
aligned for us, but I am hopeful too. Tonight isn’t about mourning, it
is about celebrating his life. It’s about coming together and not
being alone. Keenan was loved by many, he had a perfect life, and
this is what he wanted. He wanted to be with Chloe again, baby.” I
knew that if she kept talking, she would cry and I didn’t know how
women reacted to their makeup being messed up so I shushed her
while I could.
“Why is he here?” Anger laced my words.
Her shoulders fell, and I regretted the question. “There are
things he had to do before he could come back.”
“Isn’t that the god's way? Abandonment? Greed? Selfishness?”
Fur prickled at my spine. I punched through the wall to keep my
beast at bay. My mother flinched, but just gave me a warning look
as Prometheus burst through my front door. It ripped from the
hinges and crashed against the opposite wall.
“What I did wasn’t selfish. What you are doing right now is. Get
it together.” Prometheus took my mother’s hand in his and pulled her
from my home.
A snarl ripped from my throat. “My mother must have not filled
you in on who I am!” I stalked out of my house with so much
hatred, I knew beast would be summoned quickly. “I am the Beast
of Zeus! I am the God Slayer! I will haunt your nightmares and put
you to rest!” I roared to the heavens and let my beast free! He tore
through my skin. It was the quickest I had ever transformed. Beast
huffed and puffed as he stalked his prey.
“Crawley, what have you done?” My mother shrieked at me.
All I could do was grunt back as Prometheus came into view. His
eyes were wide in shock as he looked between my mother and me.
But as I looked at him longer, all I saw was Keenan, and I couldn’t
do it. I couldn’t do what needed to be done. I couldn’t be the God
Slayer to the man that resembled my fallen brother. I shrunk back to
my human form and rested my face in my hands. The tears that had
been kept at bay spilled over.
I didn’t want to cry, but I had no control over it. The rage was
gone and replaced with something worse; sadness and grief.
Someone wrapped a cloth around my shoulders and hugged me.
The scent was my mother, and I wanted nothing more than to bask
in her comfort like I once had as a child before I had been ripped
from her arms.
Her warm embrace was removed, and despair gripped my heart.
My breathing was labored when she returned. I couldn’t scent
Prometheus anymore, but I knew he was nearby. I doubted he
would leave his beloved with such a monster.
“Come on, love. We need to get you dressed. You don’t want to
be late.” My mother helped me stand while trying to brush grass and
pine off of me.
I nodded my head and begrudgingly made it back to my cottage.
Laying on my bed was another suit and tie, but it was navy instead
of black. I didn’t question it and pulled the clothes on. Once again
my mother helped me with my tie but unlike last time; she made
sure to get my hair in order as well.
“You’re going to fall out when you see Jessa.” My mother smirked
at my surprised expression. “She’s a beautiful girl, and she’s a war
hero.” She winked at me. “Don’t screw this up.” She slapped my arm
for emphasis.
I needed to get all my crap together. I couldn’t keep getting so
wound up and exploding like I was. I didn’t provide much for Jessa
at the moment, and it was making my beast restless. Everyone was
right, Jessa was the best damn catch of my life, and I needed to get
it all together before I tried to keep her.
We made our way to the gathering next to the mountains. In the
center of everyone was a funeral pier. Sticks and logs were piled
high under a glass box or what appeared to be glass. The way it
shimmered and moved, I had no doubt it was magic. Inside the box
of magic was Keenan, wearing a suit, with his cropped hair cleanly
cut and fixed.
Prometheus had disappeared, and my mother was just as
confused as I was. She searched around before she shrugged her
shoulders. She refused to look anywhere but to Keenan. I didn’t
blame her, it was hard to see him up there. The people around me
were all dressed similar in their formal attire, and I wondered what it
had looked like at my celebration.
After a few moments, a couple people came to greet me, tell me
how great it was for me to be back and how much they missed me
but pretty soon, their words blurred together and I couldn’t hear
anything. At that moment Jessa came into the clearing. I wasn’t sure
it was her at first and had to do a double take.
She hadn’t noticed me yet. I took my time watching her. The
dress she wore dipped low in the front, and it was probably the most
skin she had ever shown off besides in the gym, but that didn’t
count. The dress was navy but when she moved there was an
iridescent green that appeared. From her knees and up looked like
she had scales covering her. Below the knee was some frilly stuff I
didn’t care for but it fit her. The front of her hair was pulled back on
either side of her face and straightened down her back. Her makeup
was dramatic and dark but alluring. I couldn’t take my eyes off of
her. Every detail. Every single thing about her had me entranced.
When she finally noticed me, she raised her eyebrows and waved
her fingers, nervously. I thought of waving back but figured it
wouldn’t be good enough then considered it again but opted for a
smile instead. My mother pulled my hand into hers and gave me a
look of approval before smoothing my suit down.
“She looks even better than I was told.”
All I could do was nod my head.
As Jessa approached me, I noticed her hands shaking. She
pushed them down the front of her dress then she shook them out
like she had no idea what she was going to do with herself.
“You look really nice.” She touched the lapel on my suit. Then it
clicked on why my mother had picked out a navy suit. We matched.
“You look even better.” My mouth seemed to dry up. “This wasn’t
planned.” I motioned between us.
“Oh?” She gave me a broad eyed look like she had no idea what
I was talking about.
“The colors. Us matching.” I laughed, anxious.
“Right.” She nodded her head awkwardly.
“My mom picked my suit out.” She giggled at how ridiculous I
sounded. “I mean, she had to. I went all beast mode on
Prometheus.”
“So that’s where he disappeared to.” She peeked around my body
to see if she could spot him. “Trying to scare off mom’s boyfriend?
Aren’t you a little too old for that?”
I knew she was joking, but it lit me up. I was too sensitive to be
around other people. “No, more like I don’t trust him and my pent-
up emotions got the best of me.”
She rested her hand on my arm and looked into my eyes. “I
know, I’m just teasing you.” She rubbed her hands up and down my
arms, to comfort me and it was starting to work. Just not as quickly
as I would have preferred.
“I’ve been a little tense lately, haven’t I?” I pulled her hands into
mine. They were cold as ice. “Are you cold?”
 She shook her head no, but I had a feeling she was just trying to
be tough about the night’s chill. I unbuttoned the front of my suit
jacket and slipped it from my arms then handed it to her. She
shrugged it on then peeked up at me through her thick, black
lashes. It was such a shy, vulnerable look that I was taken back.
Someone tapped my shoulder and the moment was ruined. She
blushed brightly and looked away. I turned to find Prometheus. The
bastard. He was already on my hate list. He smelled nervous, and all
I wanted to do was rip his throat out.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I would like to know if we could have
a few words.” He asked.
I looked back to Jessa as she handed me my coat back and told
him, “Make it very few words.”
 CHAPTER 6
JE S S A

I watched C rawley and P rometheus leave the clearing and wondered

if I should have let someone know but then, I guessed if
Prometheus had survived this long... he would be okay, right?
Shaskia soon found me and escorted me to our table. I had
never been to a formal dinner before, but I was sure I could fake it
till I made it. Shaskia pulled my chair out for me then scooted me in
like I was still her little grandbaby.
Mira found her way to the seat across from mine just as someone
clanked on a glass at the table next to ours.
“It has been easily a hundred years since we have had to do
this.” The mans' voice sounded like honey. It was warm and smooth.
“Usually we would have let the families begin the feast and the
mingling, but there are so many littles here; we must talk about
what all this is.”
The balding man with the voice of honey sat down, and then the
next stood up, he was a round man with a completely bald head. He
held up his wine glass, and it was filled to the brim. He took a
slurping sip before speaking. His voice was not like honey but more
like a whining child’s. “We celebrate the lives and legacies of the
ones that have fallen. Keenan was no exception. He held an
extraordinary place in all of our hearts.”
The fat, bald man sat down as a muscular man with beautiful,
dark chocolate skin stood up. His hair was cropped short, and his
amber eyes practically glowed in the dark. “May Keenan have a
blessed eternity in the underworld, may he remember the good
times we speak of tonight and may he be reunited with his family.”
It was time for the last man to stand and when he did, I could
see the tears on his cheeks. He had white hair down his back and a
clean-shaven face. He wore a white tunic that almost blended in
with his pale skin. “May the gods forever shine their favor on us all.”
“Amen.” Everyone chorused together.
I didn’t smell food or see food being prepared anywhere. I
wondered how the feast was going to begin and just as I was about
to ask Shaskia, a full plate appeared in front of me.
Shaskia laughed at my shock and explained. “Levios likes his food
and always makes sure our feasts are grand.” She pointed to the
bald, fat man. Then she pointed the man that had a voice of warm
honey. “He is in charge of seduction and making sure the Valley
stays fruitful.” Then she pointed to the man with deep ebony skin.
“He is over battalion. He takes it very seriously.” Something resentful
slithered throughout my body at her words. I felt my blood burning
hotter, and my vision sharpened.
Shaskia went to take a bite of her food before her eyes met
mine. She dropped her fork. “Goddess,” her voice was reverent, and
I didn’t understand why she called me that, till I could feel it. I felt
different. Angier than I had been in a long time.
I cocked my head at her and chose my words carefully.
“Battalion? We just went after a god, and you offered no help from
your battalion!” I took a calculated breath before looking to those
seated around me.
Crawley was staring at me, and so was his mother, their eyes
wide with fear. I pointed to the funeral pier then pushed myself from
the table, my chair clattering loudly on the ground. “If we had had a
battalion! If we had had a Battalion to lead us against a GOD,
perhaps Keenan wouldn’t be dead right now! Perhaps we wouldn’t
have lost so many precious lives!” I pointed to the Elders at their
high and mighty table before Shaskia tried to pull me down.
“Jessa, you’re scaring people, your eyes, everything about you is
changing. It’s turning dark.” Shaskia looked at me in fear. Her words
shifting something inside of me.
 “You’re right, I’m sorry. That’s not what tonight is about.” I went
to pick my chair off the grass, but Crawley beat me to it. He grabbed
my hand in his, gave it a gentle squeeze then returned to his seat.
Everyone was staring at me now, and I knew I wasn’t going to eat
with all the eyes pointed at me. I looked over my shoulder at the
table that sat the Elders and gave them a long glare before turning
back around to my food.
It no longer looked appetizing, and I was no longer hungry. I
pushed my plate away from me and watched everyone else. It was
more comfortable to do that than to pretend. I had thought I had
been doing well, handling his death well, but it just festered more.
Crawley kept giving me looks out the corner of his eye while his
mom talked and laughed at the memories shared.
People went on and on, one by one, about how Keenan had
changed their lives and how he would be fruitful in the underworld. I
didn’t understand, I looked to Shaskia with my questions. The topic
of death had always been something I had avoided. I had never
known loss like this before. My mother had been an entirely different
entity in my life, and her absence wasn’t much to me.
“This isn’t the end. Keenan can have a job and live happily with
his family in the underworld. He will continue on and if he chooses
to; he can remember everything that transpired in his life here.”
“If he doesn’t want to?” I knew what she was going to say, but I
asked anyway.
“He can drink from The Lethe and forget everything.” Shaskia
popped a cherry into her mouth before continuing. “There is a
chance that he will be in Elysium and he will wish to be reborn.”
I didn’t have any other questions, and I didn’t want to hear any
more. I took a sip from my water goblet and leaned back in my chair
as people started to get up and get friendly. Soft music played in the
background, though I wasn’t sure if it was from technology or
magic. These days it was getting harder and harder to distinguish. A
few people were dancing while a few others were wiping stray tears
from their faces. He was loved and celebrated by so many.
I had been so selfish with my outburst. I buried my face in my
hands. Someone tapped on my shoulder, and I begrudgingly turned
around. One of the most gorgeous men I had ever seen, stood
before me. His white-blond hair was slicked back on his head, and
his sharp jawline was dusted with just the right amount of facial hair.
His baby blue eyes sparkled at me, and when he smiled, I thought I
was going to fall out. He had dimples.
“I hope you don’t find me too forward but I heard what you said
about your war, and I would love to hear more about it. I’m new
around here, and your power called to me.” He cupped the back of
his neck, almost nervously then gazed up at me from under his
eyelashes. “The passion in your voice... I don’t know... something
about it would have had me following you into battle.”
My jaw went a little slack. “Wow, that’s a great compliment. I
wish I knew what to say, but I’m not good at this at all.”
His pupils got big before he spoke again, “You really shouldn’t
waste that dress sitting over here. Come dance with me, and you
can tell me all about it.”
I followed him to the center of the square, and he pulled me
close. I secretly wondered if Crawley was watching and almost
wanted to see his face. He deserved the torture sometimes. It was
then that I realized Shaskia was up dancing too and when I realized
who she was with, I could have died.
Cristoff had his snake arms wrapped around her waist. If I hadn’t
been tangled up with Mr. Dreamy, I would have marched right over
there and given him a piece of my mind.
“I didn’t catch your name,” he whispered into my neck as he
pulled me even closer.
“I didn’t catch yours either.” I pulled back a fraction, not okay
with the direction this was going.
He must have noticed a change in my voice because he put some
more distance between us and gave me a shy smile. “I’m Perseus.”
I gave him a curious look. “Perseus? As in Zeus’ son?”
He gave me a kind of annoyed look before shaking his head, no.
“What about your name? The mysterious battle woman?”
I laughed. “Jessa.”
He thought for a minute. “Jessa, daughter of Aphrodite? Maybe
not, hmmm, daughter of Athena, maybe?”
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
The Project Gutenberg eBook of Liina
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States
and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
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under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
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you are located before using this eBook.

Title: Liina

Author: Lilli Suburg

Release date: February 14, 2024 [eBook #72959]

Language: Finnish

Original publication: Helsinki: Otava, 1892

Credits: Juhani Kärkkäinen and Tapio Riikonen

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIINA ***

LIINA

Kirj.

Lilli Suburg

Suomennos viron kielestä

Helsingissä, Kustannusosakeyhtiö Otava, 1892.

I.

Isäni oli kartanon pehtori, joka piti huolta peltotöistä, viina- ja

olutkellareista sekä aitoista. Muu hallitus ja kirjanpito oli saksalaisen
kirjurin huostassa. Kartanon rouvan mies oli nuorena kuollut. Silloin
uskoi hän vanhemmilleni, jotka olivat olleet hänen uskollisimpia
palvelijoitaan, kaiken maanviljelyksen ja mitä siihen kuului. Heidän
elämänsä kävi sentähden paremmaksi kuin toisten palvelijain. He
voivat myöskin lapsensa pitää puhtaimmissa vaatteissa ja antaa
heille huolellisemman, niinkuin sanottiin saksalaisen kasvatuksen.
Lapset myöskin, saksalaiseen tapaan, sanoivat vanhempiaan
"papaksi" ja "mammaksi". Ja koska yksi asia seuraa toistansa, niin
tämän saksalaisen sivistyksen tähden myöskin ylhäisemmät
kunnioittivat minun vanhempiani, ja kartanon rouvakin otti mielellään
heidän lapsensa omille lapsilleen leikkitoveriksi. Minut, joka olin
kaikista vanhin, mamma usein, suureksi ilokseni, pesi puhtaaksi,
puetti pyhävaatteisiin ja antoi palvelustytön saattaa mäelle
leikkimään. — Oi, armas aika, jolloin pieni sykkivä sydän ei vielä
tunne muuta kuin suurta iloa jokaisesta kauniista esineestä, johon
silmä sattuu ja jota uskaltaa kädellään kosketella! Oi, armas aika,
jolloin ajatus ei osaa katsoa ihmisten säätyä, vaan kiintyy jokaiseen
yhdenikäiseen ja yhdenkokoiseen ihmiseen, ikäänkuin ei olisi
pienintäkään asiaa maailmassa, joka välin voisi rikkoa! Yhdenlainen
ilo loisti myöskin Auroora neidin ja Liinan silmistä, kun he jälleen
toisensa tapasivat, ja ystävyys oli olemassa, vaikk'eivät ystävät
ymmärtäneet sille nimeäkään antaa. Ja vaikka ei Auroora neiti
ymmärtänyt hyvästi maan kieltä, ja vaikka Liina vaan puhui
muutaman sanan saksaa, he kuitenkin ymmärsivät toisiansa, ja pian
kajahti iloinen nauru lastenkamarista. — Oi, kallis lapsuuden aika,
ikävällä ajattelen sinua, ja kyyneleet nousevat silmiin, kun muistelen
Aurooran kauniita kasvoja ja sinisiä silmiä!

Me leikimme ja opimme samalla toinen toisemme kieltä.

Vanhempani olivat hyvillään, että minä pian puhuin hyvästi saksaa,
ja vielä suurempi ilo oli heillä, kun rouva eräänä päivänä kutsutti
mamman luokseen ja selitti hänelle, että Auroora neidille tulee
opettajatar ja että Liina, joka tälle aina on ollut rakas ja sievä
leikkikumppani, saisi myöskin olla hänen toverinaan opin tiellä.
Suuresti iloitsin siitä myöskin minä ja Auroora. Nythän me saisimme
joka päivä aamusta iltaan olla yhdessä, ja vaan yönajaksi pitäisi
toisistamme erota. Niin kävikin. Opettajaneiti tuli ja minä lähdin joka
aamu mäelle, kävin vaan päivällisellä kotona. Usein jäin kuitenkin
koko päiväksi sinne oppimaan ja leikkimään.

Vanhemmat ja minä olimme siihen sangen tyytyväisiä, mutta

minun pienemmät sisareni nurisivat, kun heidän kanssaan niin
harvoin leikin. Eikä minun entinen naapurini ja toverini sepän
Jansukaan ollut minuun ensinkään tyytyväinen. Hän oli minun
kanssani kesällä juossut joen rannalla, talvella sen jäällä luistellut ja
minua vetänyt kelkalla, sillä hän oli isompi ja muutamaa vuotta
minua vanhempi. "Liina", sanoi hän eräänä pyhäpäivänä, "minä en
sitä ensinkään salli, että sinä niin paljo olet mäellä ja tulet yhä
saksalaisemmaksi ja minua kohtaan ylpeäksi, sillä kaikki saksalaiset
ovat ylpeitä." Tämmöiseen nuhtelemiseen en ollut ensinkään
tottunut, ja minä suutuin häneen, ettei hän kärsinyt saksalaisia, jotka
aina olivat olleet hyviä minulle. Mutta kuitenkin, kun hän oli mennyt
pois, muistui hänen sanansa mieleeni, sillä hänkin oli aina ollut
minulle rakas ja hyvä kohtaani. Minkätähden sanoi hän saksalaisia
ylpeiksi, minkätähden minua sanotaan ylpeäksi? Minä aioin puhua
siitä Aurooran kanssa — mutta pian unhotin kaikki, ja asia jäi
puhumatta.

Minä olin kirjurin luona jo oppinut hiukan lukemaan ja

kirjoittamaan, ja se oli minulle nyt avuksi. Opettaja oli lempeä,
rakasmielinen neiti ja ymmärsi tehdä oppimisen meille rakkaaksi, ja
sekä hän että rouva kiittivät meidän ahkeruuttamme. Mutta mitä
enemmän edistyimme tiedoissa, sitä iloisemmat olimme myöskin
leikin aikana. Joskus täytyi opettajattaren tulla kieltämään meidän
vallattomuuttamme. Hän seurusteli väliaikoina rouvan kanssa ja luki
hänelle. Niinpä tuli hän jälleen eräänä talvi-iltana kiiruhtaen meidän
luoksemme, mutta jäi jo kynnykselle seisomaan, ja nähtyään meidät,
rupesi ääneensä nauramaan. Tämän kuultuaan, tuli rouvakin sinne,
ja mitä näki hän? Keskellä huonetta oli pieni pöytä, pöydällä pesuvati
täynnä saippuavaahtoa. Auroora ylöskäärittyine hihoineen yhdellä ja
minä samoin toisella puolen pöytää heitimme vaahtopalloja suuresti
nauraen toistemme silmille, ja niistä juoksi vesi virtana pitkin kasvoja
ja vaatteita. Mutta moni vaahtorakko oli jäänyt hiuksiin, nenään ja
olkapäihin riippumaan, joka teki meidät niin soman näköisiksi, että
rouva ja neiti olivat katketa nauruun. — Torumista ei ajatellut
kumpainenkaan. He molemmat olivat elämänsä aikana huomanneet,
että ilo ja vapaus parhaiten edistävät kaikkea työtä ja toimitusta,
parhaiten kehittävät myöskin ymmärrystä ja suojelusenkeleinä
johdattavat lastakin kaikkea hyvää tajuamaan.
 Mutta minkätähden katosi tämä ilonaika niin pian? Minkätähden ei
jäänyt minulle tuntemattomaksi kaikki ne väliseinät, jotka ihmisten
sydämiä toisistaan erottavat?
II.

Mutta kuinka kävi minun Jansulleni? Pari viikkoa sen jälkeen, kun
hän oli minulle pahan, mielensä näyttänyt, tuli hän jälleen kiirein
askelin, loistavin silmin luokseni, tarttui minuun, suuteli ja sanoi:
"Liina, minä käyn myös koulua! Minä en voinut sitä kärsiä, että sinä,
joka olet minua niin paljo nuorempi ja pienempi, tulisit minua
viisaammaksi, ja pyysin isää niin kauan, että hän vei minut lukkarin
luo kouluun. Maanantaista asti olen käynyt jo siellä ja opin maan
kielen rinnalla myöskin saksan kieltä, sentähden, että sinäkin opit
saksaa." Nyt tartuin minä hänen kaulaansa ja huudahdin ilolla: "Oi,
kuinka hyvä, kuinka hyvä! Sinä opit nyt myös saksaa, etkä
varmaankaan enää pidä saksalaisia ylpeinä." Minä katsoin terävästi
häneen — sydämeni kävi levottomaksi. Minkätähden katosi loistava
ilo kerrassaan Jansun silmistä, minkätähden vaaleni hän ja katsoi
jälleen sekä vihaisesti että surullisesti minuun? — Hetken perästä
hän lausui: "Liina, sinun vanhempasi ovat hyvällä kohdalla, ja
meidän nykyiset herrasväkemme ovat hyviä ihmisiä; siitä se tulee,
että sinä et vielä tiedä mitään saksalaisten ja talonpoikain
keskinäisestä suhteesta. Minäkään en ole tahtonut sinulle mitään
puhua, etten olisi pahoittanut mieltäsi. Mutta nyt sinä käyt
vanhemmaksi ja voit jo paremmin ymmärtää. Pyydä sentähden
äidiltäsi, että hän lupaa sinut jonakuna lauvantai-iltana meille, niin
pyydämme minun isäni kertomaan meille omasta ja vanhempainsa
elämästä. Kyllä sinäkin sitte alat ymmärtää, miksi en minä voi
saksalaisia rakastaa."

Melkein joka lauvantai, kun hän koulusta tuli kotiin, poikkesi hän
meillä ja kysyi: "No, Liina, tuletko tänäpäivänä?" "En, nyt olen juuri
tullut mäeltä, etten enää ehdi", vastasin hänelle joka kerta. Mutta
todella asia oli semmoinen, että minun pieni sydämeni oli ruvennut
pelkäämään hänen isänsä kertomuksia, vaikk'en niitä vielä ollut
kuullutkaan. Jansu huomasi tämän, eikä pyytänytkään minua enää.

Joulu tuli. Meidän koulumme loppui, ja minä olin jälleen kotona

siskojeni luona, jotka siitä iloitsivat. Jansu tuli myös useammin
meille, ja me luistelimme joella ja teimme lumipalloja, ja hän veti
minua kelkassa ja teki minulle kaikkea, mikä minua huvitti.
Joulunaattona olin mäellä. Auroora ei voinut ensinkään ilman minutta
iloita. Hän kutsui minut taas pyhäksi leikkimään. "Minulle tosin tulee
vieraita ja Otto, vanhin veljeni, joka käy kaupungissa koulua, mutta
sittekin ikävöin sinua." — Viimeisenä pyhänä lähdin taas sinne ja
Auroora tervehti minua hyvin iloisesti. Hänen vieraansa olivat jo
lähteneet, ja hän leikki veljensä kanssa kummipallolla, ja minä myös
siihen yhdyin. Sitte toi Otto puupalikkansa ja kutsui meitä huonetta
rakentamaan. Me kyykkysillämme lattialla rakensimme ahkerasti.
Silloin tuli äkkiä kammari-Leena huoneesen ja sanoi:

"Tule, Liina, sulhastasi tervehtimään; hän seisoo eteisessä

pahoilla mielin, kun ei hän sinua vielä ole nähnyt."

Tämän kuultuaan, nousi Otto äkkiä ylös, otti minua kädestä kiinni
ja kysyi: "kuka siellä on? Liina ei saa meidän luota mennä!"
 "No, no, nuori herra", vastasi Leena, "elkää te tuota talonpoikaista
tyttöä estelkö, te iso saksa, antakaa hänen mennä omaa
säätyläistään tervehtimään." Ja tämän lausui hän semmoisella
äänellä ja katseella, että minä rupesin pelkäämään. Silloin astui
Jansu kynnykselle ja huusi: "Liina, tule pois!" — "Niin, Leena on
oikeassa, mene, vanha talonpoikaistyttö!" sanoi nyt Otto ja työnsi
minut syrjään.

Mutta Auroora, joka ihmeekseen kaiken tämän oli kuullut,

heittäytyi ääneensä itkien minun kaulaani. Minäkin aloin itkeä, ja
silloin tuli rouva ja kysyi pahoilla mielin: "Mikä nyt, lapset? Mikä teille
on tullut?"

"Voi, valitti Auroora, Leena ja Otto käskevät Liinan menemään

pois tuon pojan kanssa, joka tuolla seisoo, sentähden, että hän on
talonpoikainen tyttö."

Leena oli jo mennyt pois, ja Jansu seisoi vielä kynnyksellä. Jansu,

kolmentoista vanha, terve poika puhtaissa vaatteissa, punoittavin
poskin ja tulisin silmin, seisten reippaasti kynnyksellä, oli minusta
kuin joku voimakas mies, jota tuli kuulla. Rouva katsoi häntä, vastasi
lempeästi hänen tervehdykseensä ja kuunteli hänen selitystään. —
"Kunnioitettava rouva, elkää panko pahaksenne minun rohkeuttani,
että rupean teidän kanssanne puhumaan. Mutta kun tiedän, että te
olette sangen hyvä, enkä salli, että Liinan mieltä pahoitetaan, sillä
minäkin Liinaa rakastan, niin tahdon teille kaikki kertoa." Ja hän
puhui, kuinka hänen äitinsä lähetti hänet emännöitsijältä pyytämään
kipeälle lehmälleen rohtoa, kuinka Leena oli jättänyt hänet eteiseen
ja lähtenyt emännöitsijää etsimään, kuinka Leena oli ruvennut Liinaa
ärsyttelemään j.n.e. kuinka kaikki oli käynyt, kunnes rouva saapui
sinne. — Kun rouva kaikki kuuli, otti hän meidät Aurooran kanssa
syliinsä, suuteli meitä ja sanoi: "Te, rakkaat lapseni, olette
yhdenarvoiset, niinkauan kuin olette Jumalaa pelkääväiset, hyvät
lapset, mutta jos toinen on pahempi kuin toinen, silloin on hän
myöskin ala-arvoisempi. Unhoittakaa sentähden Leenan tyhmät
sanat ja olkaa jälleen iloiset! Sinä, rakas Otto, olet ajattelemattomasti
pahoittanut Liinan mielen, mutta siitä puhun sinulle kahden kesken.
Ja sinä, rakas poika, olet minulle mieleen oikeudentuntosi tähden, ja
pyydän sentähden, että jäät lasteni kanssa leikkimään."

"Kiitän paljo, kunnioitettava rouva", vastasi Jansu, lähestyi rouvaa,

suuteli hänen ojennettua kättänsä ja sanoi: "äitini odottaa minua;
hyvästi!" Niin lähti hän huoneesta.

Meidän ilomme ei tahtonut sillä kertaa tulla entiselleen, vaikka

kyllä Otto hetken perästä, tultuaan äitinsä kamarista, suuteli käsiäni
ja huuliani ja koitti meitä lepyttää kuvakirjoilla ja kaikellaisilla kauniilla
esineillä. Mäeltä tultuani, en ollut milloinkaan tuntenut niin suurta
rakkautta vanhempiani ja siskojani kohtaan. Mutta minä en puhunut
heille mitään siitä, mikä minua suretti. Se oli minun ensimmäinen
salaisuuteni. — Yöllä en paljo saanut unta ja odotin ikävällä aamua,
että saisin tavata Jansua.

Nousin varhain ylös seuraavana päivänä, pukeuduin, menin äidin

luo ja pyysin: "hyvä mamma, saanko mennä tänä päivänä Jansun
luo, minulla on hänen kanssaan paljo puhumista?" — "Paljo
puhumista?" kysyi äiti hymyillen ja sanoi: "mene vaan, mutta älä ole
vallaton!"

Juosten ja hypäten kiiruhdin tietä myöten; Jansu tuli vastaani

puolivälissä matkaa. "Hyvää huomenta, Liina!" huusi hän jo kaukana,
syleili minua, nosti minut ylös maasta ja sanoi, että hän iloissaan
siitä, kun kerran tulin hänen luokseen, tahtoisi kantaa minut
sylissään kotiinsa. Sen hän tekikin, eikä laskenut pois, ennenkuin oli
vienyt minut äitinsä syliin. Hänen äitinsä, iso, terve vaimo-ihminen,
valkeat hiukset, loistavat, siniset silmät, puhtaissa vaatteissa, suuteli
minua otsalle ja sanoi, että hänkin oli hyvillään, kun kerran tulin
Jansun luo, lupasi minulle siitä hyvästä mettä ja mitä hänellä vaan oli
antaa.

Sepän väellä oli kolme kamaria, joissa oli muutama tuoli, pöytä,
puhdas penkki ja vuode. Takimmaisen kamarin oli äiti sisustanut
ainoalle lapselleen, Jansulle, ja siellä nähtiin kauniita kuvia, peili ja
pieni petsattu kirjakaappi. Sinne, omaan kamariinsa, vei nyt Jansu
minut. Minä olin siellä ennen kymmeniä kertoja leikkinyt.

"Jansu", kysyin minä heti, kun sinne tulimme, "olisiko sinun isälläsi
aikaa puhumaan meille omia kertomuksiaan?" "Sen minä arvasin",
hän vastasi, "että sinä eilisen tapauksen jälkeen sitä toivot, mutta
arvaapas, Liina, minä olen puhunut isälle kaikki ja senkin, mitä rouva
meille sanoi, ja isä vastasi siihen: se on hyvä, että sinä olet kaikki
nähnyt ja kuullut ja puhunut minulle. Nyt minä tiedän, että olisin
tehnyt väärin rouvalle, joka on Liinaa niin hyvästi kohdellut, jos olisin
kertomuksillani herättänyt Liinan sydämessä vihaa saksalaisia
kohtaan. Hän tosin, kasvattaessaan Liinaa saksalaiseksi, voi tuottaa
tälle paljon surua ja sydämen tuskaa, jos vaan Liina tahtoo jäädä
vanhempainsa uskolliseksi lapseksi, taikka voi hän tytön heistä ja
meistä kaikista kokonaan vieroittaa. Mutta siitä ei rouva tiedä mitään,
eikä se ole hänelle syyksi luettava. — Minä kyllä tiedän, rakas Liina,
ett'et sinä sitä nyt ymmärrä, mutta toivon, että sinä tämän vielä
tarpeen tullessa muistat. Mutta rakasta nyt kallista rouvaasi,
Aurooraa ja opettaja-neitiä, ja rukoile Jumalaa, ettei hän minua
sinusta eroita. Kyllä sitte olet oikealla tiellä!"
 Oi, rakas Jansu, jos olisit tietänyt, mitä taisteluja Liinasi vielä sai
kärsiä, et olisi vaiennut, vaan puhunut ja antanut isäsikin puhua
suurella äänellä!
III.

Kesäinen aika viheriöine vaatetuksineen, lauhkeine tuulineen,

kaikuvine linnunlauluineen ja iloisine ihmisineen oli jälleen käsissä.
Joki virtaili sinisen, punaisen värisillä kukilla kirjailtuin äyrästensä
lomitse ja heitti vaahtoisia vesipatsaita kohti sinistä taivasta. Koko
luonto oli herännyt uuteen elämään. Voivatko sitten lapset pysyä
lukkojen takana? Eipä suinkaan! Valkeissa, ohuissa vaatteissa,
silkkireunuksilla kuin siivillä kaunistettuina, kukkaseppeleet päässä ja
päivän säteiden nostama puna poskilla, käsi kädessä hyppäsimme,
Auroora, hänen neljä vierastaan ja minä pitkin joen rantaa.

"Nyt olemme piilosilla!" huusi Auroora jääden seisomaan. Niin,

niin, vastasivat hänelle kaikki yhdestä suusta ja pian oli arpa heitetty
silmänpitäjälle, ja kaikki lensivät, mikä tämän, mikä tuon pensaan
taakse piiloon. Otto oli tovereineen, Jansukin nyt joukossa, joen
varrella ja työnsi pitkällä kepillä mastolla ja purjeilla varustettua,
punaiseksi ja mustaksi maalattua laivaa vesille. Tämän lahjoitti
Jansu Otolle, vaikka hän oli sen itse suurella vaivalla valmistanut.
Hän oli sanonut: "Minä annan teille tämän laivan merkiksi, etten
hetkellisen loukkauksen tähden — sillä kertaa enemmän Liinaa,
mutta myöskin minua kohtaan — kanna vihaa ketäkään vastaan, ja
myöskin muistutukseksi, että halveksitulla talonpojallakin on jotakin,
josta suuren Saksan lapset saattavat ihastua. Minun isäni sanoo,
ettei kukaan tiedä lapsena, minlaiselle kohdalle hän vanhana joutuu,
ja että jokaista kerran arvostellaan oikeuden mukaan, sillä Jumala
tuomitsee kaikkia oikeudella."

"Saammeko mekin tulla teidän kanssanne leikkimään?" pyysi Otto,

ja ilomielin se luvattiin hänelle. Nyt pidimme silmiä ja etsimme,
juoksimme ja iloitsimme, kunnes opettaja-neidin rakas ääni meitä
kutsui iltaselle.

Vuoden kauniin aika, keväinen aika, lentää kuin tuulen siivillä

eteenpäin. Niin oli se meiltäkin kulunut leikin ja työn vaihdellessa, ja
Juhannus oli käsissä. Juhannus, tuo kultainen veräjä, jonka kautta
me pääsimme vapauteen. Sillä vaikka oppiminen lapsista olisi kuinka
hauskaa, he kuitenkin suurella ilolla ajattelevat niitä viikkoja, jolloin
heidän ei tarvitse määrätyitä tunteja kirjan ääressä istua. He saavat
silloin äidin luvalla toimittaa paljo helpompia asioita, huolettomasti
maata ja leikkiä paljon enemmän. Lyhyesti: vapaus on silloin suuri.

Vesissä silmin erosimme Auroorasta, sillä hän matkusti äitinsä ja

opettaja-neidin keralla kaukaiseen kartanoon tätinsä ja serkkujensa
luo vieraaksi.

Armas, kallis Auroora, jos olisin tiennyt, etten sinua enää

milloinkaan näkisi, en olisi sinua niin pian sylistäni laskenut! — "A
Dieu! Liina!" "A Dieu, Auroora!" ja ainiaaksi erosimme toisistamme.
Sillä kahden viikon perästä palasi onneton rouva ja suruun vaipunut
opettaja-neiti, kalliin lapsen ruumis mukanaan, kotiin takaisin, jossa
he hänet sanomattomalla murheella hautasivat kirkkomaahan
syreenipuiden suojaan. — Kyllä vein hänen haudallensa
kukkaseppeleitä, kyllä vaivuin polvilleni hänen hautakummulleen ja
huusin surkealla äänellä: "Auroora, Auroora! Sydämeni on hirveän
suruinen, Auroora, minä ikävöin sinua sanomattomasti. Jospa voisin
sinun viereesi kuolla." — Ei auttanut, Auroora oli kuollut, ja hänen
kanssaan loppuivat elämäni huomenhetken iloisimmat, armaimmat
päivät!

Jos minulla ei olisi ollut sinun ystävyyttäsi, rakas Jansu, ja jos eivät
äiti ja opettaja-neiti olisi minua lohduttaneet, tuskin olisin terveenä
pysynyt. Kiinteästi oli todellakin rakkaus yhdistänyt Aurooran ja minut
toisiinsa.

Niin, Jansun ystävyys oli minulle suurena tukena, hänen

rakkautensa auttoi minua voittamaan suruani. Hän ei puhunut paljo
minun kanssani, mutta kirkkomaassa, jossa kävin joka päivä, istui
hän vieressäni. Hän poimi minulle tien vierestä kukkia, huomautti
minulle lintujen laulua ja osoitti sinistä taivasta. Oi, älköön kukaan
pitäkö halpana lapsen ystävyyttä, vaan muistelkoon jokainen usein
omia tunteitaan lapsuuden aikana, niin hän voi varmaankin
paremmin lapsen tunteita käsittää! Silloin ei myöskään aikaihmisten
uskottomuus, petollisuus ja kylmyys tuottaisi hänelle niin suurta
kaipausta. Ovathan kaikki tunteet kuin multaan kylvetyt siemenet,
jotka virkoavat eloon, kun lämmin päivänpaiste tai lauhkea sade niitä
kasvattavat. Älköön myöskään vanhemmat olko välinpitämättömiä
siitä, kenen kanssa heidän lapsensa seurustelee, sillä niinkuin madot
voivat turmella viljapeltosi, niin voivat lapsenkin pahat tunteet ja
ajatukset tehdä toisen lapsen sydämen pellolle suurta vahinkoa.
IV.

Kesä oli kulunut ja opettaja-neiti istui jälleen kahden lapsen kanssa

koulupöydän ääressä. Kahden lapsen kanssa tosin, vaan Aurooran
sijassa oli nyt Hilda rouvan kymmenen vuotinen sisarentytär, jonka
tämä oli rouvalle lohdutukseksi, Aurooran sijaiseksi antanut.
Sijaiseksi tosin, mutta vaikea on kenenkään täyttää äidin sydämeen
jäänyttä tyhjää sijaa. Hildallakin oli suuret, siniset silmät, punoittavat
posket ja kultaiset kiharat, eikä hän ollut kuin vuotta vanhempi
Aurooraa ja oli vielä rouvan rakkaan sisaren tytär.

Koulutunnit olivat loppuneet, lapset nousivat pöydän äärestä,

panivat kirjat, taulut ja kynät kaappiin. Neiti istui vielä, kyynäspää
pöydällä, kasvot puoleksi kädellä peitettynä, silmät surullisesti
luotuina sitä paikkaa kohden, josta Hilda oli noussut, ja pitkin
valkeaa poskea vierähti kyynel toisensa jälkeen. Sitten aukeni hiljaa
ovi, ja pitkä, solakka nainen mustissa vaatteissa, musta pitsimyssy
päässä, astui ovesta sisään. Hänen valkea otsansa paistoi tumman
tukan ympäröimänä kuin pilven peitosta, ja ohuet, vaalean punaiset,
värisevät huulensa olivat kovasti kiinni suljetut, hänen suuret
silmänsä muistuttivat meren laineita, joita päivänpaiste turhaan
koittaa ilahduttaa. Hänenkin katseensa kääntyi Hildan istuimelle ja
syvä huokaus herätti neidin ajatuksistaan. Huomattuaan rouvan
ovella, nousi hän, kävi tätä kohti ja molemmat koittivat toistensa
seurasta löytää lohdutusta suureen ikäväänsä.

"Liina, rakas lapseni", sanoi rouva hetken perästä, kun löysi minut
Aurooran tuolilla itkemässä. "Liina, minä kiitän sinua suuresta
rakkaudestasi Aurooraa kohtaan. Sinä käyt minulle tästälähin vielä
rakkaammaksi. Mutta tulkaa myöskin Hildan kanssa hyviksi
ystäviksi, oppikaa ja leikkikää yhdessä, että jälleen näkisin kaksi
iloista lasta läheisyydessäni." Näin sanoen painoi hän Hildaa ja
minua syliinsä, otti sitten käsistä kiinni ja vei ruualle. — Se oli
ensimmäinen koulupäivä.

Toisina päivinä kävi vähitellen kaikki vanhaan totuttuun tapaan.

Niinkuin kulkijamen, niittyä osoittaessaan, on mahdoton sanoa:
tuosta puuttuu kasvi, joka siinä vielä muutamia päiviä sitten kauniisti
kukoisti, niin eivät olisi vieraat ihmiset myöskään voineet huomata,
että kauniin, kallein olento oli meidän joukostamme pois temmattu.
Mutta vaikka aika on ikävälle paras lääkäri, ei se kuitenkaan tuonut
meille täydellistä unhotusta.

Pian huomasi opettaja-neiti, ettei Hilda ollut niin terävä ja tarkka

oppilas, kuin Auroora oli ollut. Pian huomasin myöskin minä, ettei
Hilda minun kanssani puhunut, eikä minua kohdellut niinkuin
Auroora. Muutaman kuukauden perästä selvisi meille, että vieras
henki hänen kanssaan oli tullut meidän keskuuteemme. Ja se toi
entisen ilon sijaan monta ikävyyttä. Huomattiin pian, minkälaisessa
ilmapiirissä hän oli kasvatettu, mikä hänen tunteitaan oli kehittänyt.

Leikkiminen Hildan kanssa ei myöskään tahtonut enää sujua, ja

minä aloin yhä useimmin mennä kotiin. Rouva ja opettaja-neiti
jonkun kerran kysyivät, mikä kiire minulla oli, mutta kun ei Hilda