4 CHAPTER IV

DISCUSSION

4.1 Discussion
This chapter elaborates on the process of writing a script;
1. Finding Idea
The writer found an idea as a source to start writing video scripts by
conducting literature studies. The writer read an article on the Andalas Tourism
website about Palembang Bird Park entitled "Palembang Bird Park Wisata Edukasi
dengan Beragam Jenis Satwa" Apart from that, the writer also found a video on
YouTube that explained the good elements of writing a video script, according to
Jakakaping (2018) entitled “Lessons from Writing 3,000+ Video Script”.
After conducting a literature study, the writer conducted a field survey at
Palembang Bird Park and obtained information about Palembang Bird Park through
observation and interviews.

1. Observation
In this study, the writer visited Palembang Bird Park, located in Opi Mall
area, directly to find out the real situation of the object and know what kind of
information could be collected by the writer. In this step, the writer made a list of
data that must be collected as follows:
1. What are the facilities in the Palembang Bird Park?
2. Where is the location of Palembang Bird Park?
3. What are the attractions in Palembang Bird Park?
4. What are in the Palembang Bird Park?
5. How are things going at Palembang Bird Park?
After doing the observation, the writer collected the data in a folder on the
flash disk in order to make the writer easily to find the support data written in
observation form and it also made it the writer is easier to comprehend the
information.

12
 13

2. Interview
The writer held the interview by coming directly to the location of the
interview. Previously, the writer had contacted the interviewees and arranged a
schedule to meet and conduct interviews. Each interview had a duration of 8-10
minutes, and there would be six questions that would be asked by interviewed the
owner of Palembang Bird Park, Mrs. Susan. The following are questions that the
writer used in interview:
1. Why Palembang Bird Park is built?
2. What is the price of Palembang Bird Park?
3. What does the entrance ticket for Palembang Bird Park?
4. What facilities are provided in Palembang Bird Park?
5. When does Palembang Bird Park open?
6. How does the visitor go to the Palembang Bird Park?
After conducting the interview, the writer tried to listen and wrote it as an
interview transcript. Then the writer used the important points of information to be
selecting material what will be written in the script.

2. Creating Outline
After the writer found the ideas and main message, the writer arranged, and
selected them and put them into the brief or outline. The writer set a plan that was
related to plan the title, target audience, objectives, duration, structure, and synopsis
of the script. The outline of the script is as follows:

• Title : Palembang Bird Park as a Tourism Destination in

Palembang
• Target Audience : Local and foreign tourist
• Objective : To promote Palembang Bird Park as a tourism
destination in Palembang
• Structure : a. Hook
b. Opening
c. Body
d. Closing
• Synopsis of the script a. Hook
- Interesting sentence
 14

- Location of Palembang Bird Park

b. Opening
- Introduction to educational tourism
c. Body
- How to access Palembang Bird Park
- The operational hours of Palembang Bird Park
- Entrance ticket to Palembang Bird Park
- Describes the facilities of Palembang Bird Park
- Describes various types of animals
d. Closing
- The recommendation by promoting
Palembang Bird Park
3. Researching
The writer conducted research to find additional data to support the data
collected in literature studies and field surveys that have been conducted
previously. The writer focused on the accuracy of location Palembang Bird Park
by searching on google maps.

4. Selecting Material
At this stage, the writer arranged and selected the supporting material that
already collects in the research stage and chose the most relevant material that will
be presented on the video.
After collecting the material through observation and interview, the writer
selected the most relevant material with the topic that would be presented on the
video. In this stage, the writer noted some materials that were important to put on
the video. The materials were as follows;
1) Location and situation of Palembang Bird Park
2) History of Palembang Bird Park
3) Price of the entrance ticket
4) Opening hours
5) Facilities are provided in Palembang Bird Park.
 15

6) Activities that can be done in Palembang Bird Park

7) Attractions in Palembang Bird Park
5. Arranging Structure
In this stage, the writer arranged the structure of the script. The writer
divided the structure into four parts according to Jakacaping (2018) which is the
hook, opening, body, and also closing of the script. The following table (table 4.1)
is the structure of the script

Table 4.1
The Structure of The Script
Parts Materials
Hook The location with interesting words about
Palembang Bird Park

Opening The tourism provided to educational tourism.

Body The history of the Palembang Bird Park the

operational hours, the price of the entrance ticket
and facilities provided, the activities that can be
done, how to access the Palembang Bird Park,
the attractions in Palembang Bird Park.

The recommendation by promoting Palembang

Closing
Bird Park

6. Drafting Script
In this stage, the writer started to make the draft of the video script based on the
structure that already set.
The first was hook, in this part the writer focused on how to attract viewer’s
attraction by elaborating with interesting words and the location about Palembang
Bird Park
 16

Table 4.2
Hook

Want to feel the sensation of direct interaction with animals while learning about
various types of birds with the guidance of keepers? This is Palembang Bird
Park, which is located in the Governor H.A Bastari, Opi Mall area, Rambutan,
South Sumatra Province

The next part was opening. In this part the writer focused on the Tourism
that provided information about the educational tourism that would explain on the
video.
Table 4.3
Introduction

Talking about tourism there are many types of tourism, one of which is
educational tourism in Palembang. People may be familiar with the word edu
tourism, which is edu tourism has one purpose to create opportunities for
travelers to obtain new experiences and knowledge on a wide range of topics.
Especially in the city of Palembang, there are many tourist attractions that
educate, one of which is the Palembang Bird Park.

Palembang Bird Park, the operational hours, the price of the entrance ticket,
facilities provided in Palembang Bird Park, the activities that can be done in
Palembang Bird Park and the attractions in Palembang Bird Park.
 17

Table 4.4
Body

Palembang bird park first opened in 2015. Palembang Bird Park was built with
the aim of educating people especially for children, previously the owner of
Palembang Bird Park first opened another bird park in Bandung then, Mrs.
Susan and her husband Mr. Teddy saw the lack of tourist attractions in the city
of Palembang so she was moved to open Palembang Bird Park or abbreviated as
PBP which is the first bird park in Palembang. Palembang Bird Park tourism
operates from 08:00-18:00. With a ticket for Rp. 50.000, we can easily enter this
tour. To access Palembang Bird Park tourism, we can use Google Maps by
typing Palembang Bird Park on Google Maps. Palembang Bird Park is equipped
with various facilities such as parking areas, toilets, prayer rooms, cafeteria,
breastfeeding room, lounge area, play grounds area such as fish spa, horse riding
and fishing. To enjoy the rides at Palembang Bird Park, we only need to pay Rp.
25,000 to feel the fish spa, ride a horse Rp. 20,000 and to feel the sensation of
fishing for Rp. 20,000 Not only that, if tourists who visit feel hungry, they can
try the food provided at the canteen. The Palembang Bird Park collects various
types of birds ranging from small to large ones such as parakeets, canaries,
crows, sea eagles, starlings, emus, owls, eagles, parrots, ostriches, white
peacocks, pink macaws from Australia and besides that there are other animal
collections besides birds such as rabbits, iguanas, cats, turtles, fish, snakes,
crocodiles, alligators, and kangaroos.

The last part of the video script was closing. In this part, the writer made
call to action. In this part the writer invited viewers to visit Palembang Bird Park
by remanding that they will get wonderful experiences while visiting these bird
park.
 18

Table 4.5
Closing

Visiting Palembang Bird Park is not complete if you go alone you can invite
friends or family to share the excitement while learning by interacting with
animals in educational tourism. Interesting isn’t it ? What are you waiting for to
visit Palembang Bird Park? Want to travel?

In this stage, the writer arranged the draft that already made based on the
structure of the script. It is the first draft of the video script. In this stage, the script
was written in the following table (table 4.6)
Table 4.6
First draft of the script.

Hook
Want to feel the sensation of direct interaction with animals while learning about
various types of birds with the guidance of keepers? This is Palembang Bird
Park, which is located in the Governor H.A Bastari, Opi Mall area, Rambutan,
South Sumatra Province

Introduction
Talking about tourism there are many types of tourism, one of which is
educational tourism in Palembang. People may be familiar with the word edu
tourism, which is edu tourism has one purpose to create opportunities for
travelers to obtain new experiences and knowledge on a wide range of topics.
Especially in the city of Palembang, there are many tourist attractions that
educate, one of which is the Palembang Bird Park.

Body
Palembang bird park first opened in 2015. Palembang Bird Park was built with
the aim of educating people especially for children, previously the owner of
Palembang Bird Park first opened another bird park in Bandung then, Mrs.
Susan and her husband Mr. Teddy. saw the lack of tourist attractions in the city
of Palembang so she was moved to open Palembang Bird Park or abbreviated as
 19

PBP which is the first bird park in Palembang. Palembang Bird Park tourism
operates from 08:00-18:00. With a ticket for Rp. 50.000, we can easily enter this
tour. To access Palembang Bird Park tourism, we can use Google Maps by typing
Palembang Bird Park on Google Maps. Palembang Bird Park is equipped with
various facilities such as parking areas, toilets, prayer rooms, cafeteria,
breastfeeding room, lounge area, play grounds area such as fish spa, horse riding
and fishing. To enjoy the rides at Palembang Bird Park, we only need to pay Rp.
25,000 to feel the fish spa, ride a horse Rp. 20,000 and to feel the sensation of
fishing for Rp. 20,000 Not only that, if tourists who visit feel hungry, they can
try the food provided at the canteen. The Palembang Bird Park collects various
types of birds ranging from small to large ones such as parakeets, canaries,
crows, sea eagles, starlings, emus, owls, eagles, parrots, ostriches, white
peacocks, pink macaws from Australia and besides that there are other animal
collections besides birds such as rabbits, iguanas, cats, turtles, tortoises, fish,
snakes, crocodiles, alligators, and kangaroos.

Closing
Visiting Palembang Bird Park is not complete if you go alone you can invite
friends or family to share the excitement while learning by interacting with
animals in educational tourism. Interesting isn’t it ? What are you waiting for to
visit Palembang Bird Park? Want to travel?educational tourism.

Finally, the writer finished the first draft of the video script. Then, the writer
was ready to do the next stage, which was testing the video script.
7. Testing Script
This stage is to test the effectiveness of the script. The writer asked some
experts to test the comprehensibility of the content and language of the script. If the
scripts are not perfect, the text can be revised again. After doing some testing, the
writer revised the script based on the comments and suggestions that the experts
gave.
The writer gave the first draft of the script to two experts that were from
different background, those were expert of tourism and expert of linguistic. The
 20

first expert checked and validated the content of the script, and the second expert
checked the language of the video script. For the content validation, the writer gave
the printed video script draft to Mrs. Berliana, she is Manager of Palembang Bird
Park. She said that the script was good. The arrangement of the script was clear,
started from Hook, Opening, Body and Closing. But it she gave a suggestion to
correct the grammatical errors in the script. Table 4.6 explains the revision of the
content in the video script.
Table 4.7
The Revision of the Content in the Video Script
First Draft Revised
Hook
Want to feel the sensation of direct Under the guidance of a keeper, would
interaction with animals while learning you like to experience the sensation of
about various types of birds with the interacting directly with animals while
guidance of keepers? This is Palembang learning about various bird species?
Bird Park, which is located in the This is the Palembang Bird Park
Governor H.A Bastari, Opi Mall area, located at Jalan Gubernur H.A. Bastari,
Rambutan, South Sumatra Province Opi Mall, Rambutan, South Sumatra.
Introduction
Speaking about tourism, of course,
Talking about tourism there are many
there are many types, one of which is
types of tourism, one of which is
educational tourism or in short edu-
educational tourism in Palembang.
tourism in the province of South
People may be familiar with the word
Sumatra. People may be familiar with
edu tourism, which is edu tourism has
the word ecotourism, which is edu
one purpose to create opportunities for
tourism has one purpose to create
travelers to obtain new experiences and
opportunities for travelers to obtain
knowledge on a wide range of topics.
new experiences and knowledge on a
Especially in the city of Palembang,
wide range of topics. Especially in the
there are many tourist attractions that
city of Palembang, there are many
 21

educate, one of which is the Palembang tourist attractions that educate, one of
Bird Park. which is the Palembang Bird Park.
Body
Palembang bird park first opened in Palembang Bird Park first opened in
2015. Palembang Bird Park was built 2015. Palembang Bird Park was built
with the aim of educating people for an educational purpose, especially
especially for children, previously the for children. Earlier, the owner of
owner of Palembang Bird Park first Palembang Bird Park first opened
opened another bird park in Bandung another bird park in Bandung. Mrs.
then, Mrs. Susan and her husband Mr. Susan and her husband Teddy opened
Teddy saw the lack of tourist attractions Palembang Bird Park, or PBP for short,
in the city of Palembang so she was the first bird park in Palembang, citing
moved to open Palembang Bird Park or the lack of tourist attractions in
abbreviated as PBP which is the first Palembang city. The sightseeing tour
bird park in Palembang. Palembang of Palembang Bird Park starts at 08:08-
Bird Park tourism operates from 08:00- 18:00. With 50,000 rupiah tickets, you
18:00. With a ticket for Rp. 50.000, we can easily join this tour. To get to
can easily enter this tour. To access Palembang Bird Park attractions, you
Palembang Bird Park tourism, we can can use Google Maps by typing'
use Google Maps by typing Palembang Palembang Bird Park' in Google Maps.
Bird Park on Google Maps. Palembang Palembang Bird Park is equipped with
Bird Park is equipped with various various facilities such as parking,
facilities such as parking areas, toilets, restrooms, prayer room, cafeteria,
prayer rooms, cafeteria, breastfeeding nursing room, lounge area,
room, lounge area, play grounds area playgrounds such as fish spa, horse
such as fish spa, horse riding and riding and fishing. You only need to
fishing. To enjoy the rides at pay Rp.10.000 to enjoy the rides at
Palembang Bird Park, we only need to Palembang Bird Park. Experience the
pay Rp. 25,000 to feel the fish spa, ride fish spa and ride a horse for Rp 25,000.
a horse Rp. 20,000 and to feel the It feels like fishing for 20,000 rupiah.
 22

sensation of fishing for Rp. 20,000 Not A Hungry tourists can also enjoy a
only that, if tourists who visit feel meal at the cafeteria. Palembang Bird
hungry, they can try the food provided Park is home to a wide variety of small
at the canteen. The Palembang Bird and large birds, including Australian
Park collects various types of birds parakeets, canaries, crows, white-
ranging from small to large ones such tailed eagles, starlings, emus, owls,
as parakeets, canaries, crows, sea eagles, parrots, ostriches, white
eagles, starlings, emus, owls, eagles, peacocks and pink macaws, rabbits,
parrots, ostriches, white peacocks, pink iguanas, cats, tortoises, tortoises, fish,
macaws from Australia and besides that snakes, crocodiles, alligators,
there are other animal collections kangoroos and many other animals
besides birds such as rabbits, iguanas, besides birds.
cats, turtles, tortoises, fish, snakes,
crocodiles, alligators, and kangaroos.
Closing
Visiting Palembang Bird Park is not A visit to Palembang Bird Park is not
complete if you go alone you can invite complete if you go it alone. You can
friends or family to share the invite your friends and family to share
excitement while learning by the excitement of interacting and
interacting with animals in educational learning with animals as part of your
tourism. Interesting isn’t it ? What are educational tour. Interesting. What are
you waiting for to visit Palembang Bird you waiting for to visit Palembang
Park? Want to travel? Bird Park? Want to travel?

In order to make the script was good, the writer gave the second draft of the
script to Mr. Ahmad Khoirul Akhir Tanjung, M.Hum as a lecturer in the English
Department Sriwijaya Polytechnic. He reviewed grammatical errors in the script
and gave suggestion to correct them, especially in the body and closing part. The
following table 4.7 explains the revision of the language in the video script.
 23

Table 4.8
Revision of the language in the Video Script
Second Draft Revised
Hook
Under the guidance of a keeper, would Under the guidance of a keeper, would
you like to experience the sensation of you like to experience the sensation of
interacting directly with animals while interacting directly with animals while
learning about various bird species? learning about various bird species?
This is the Palembang Bird Park This is the Palembang Bird Park
located at Jalan Gubernur H.A. Bastari, located at Jalan Gubernur H.A. Bastari,
Opi Mall, Rambutan, South Sumatra. Opi Mall, Rambutan, South Sumatra.
Introducing
Speaking about tourism, of course, Speaking about tourism, of course,
there are many types, one of which is there are many types of tourism
educational tourism or in short edu- destination in Palembang, one of which
tourism in the province of South is educational tourism or in short edu-
Sumatra. People may be familiar with tourism in the province of South
the word ecotourism, which is edu Sumatra. People may be familiar with
tourism has one purpose to create the word ecotourism, which is edu
opportunities for travelers to obtain tourism has one purpose to create
new experiences and knowledge on a opportunities for travelers to obtain
wide range of topics. Especially in the new experiences and knowledge on a
city of Palembang, there are many wide range of topics. Especially in the
tourist attractions that educate, one of city of Palembang, there are many
which is the Palembang Bird Park. tourist attractions that educate, one of
which is the Palembang Bird Park.
Body
Palembang Bird Park first opened in Palembang Bird Park first opened in
2015. Palembang Bird Park was built 2015. Palembang Bird Park was built
for an educational purpose, especially for an educational purpose, especially
 24

for children. Earlier, the owner of for children. Earlier, the owner of
Palembang Bird Park first opened Palembang Bird Park first opened
another bird park in Bandung. Mrs. another bird park in Bandung. Mrs.
Susan and her husband Teddy opened Susan and her husband Teddy opened
Palembang Bird Park, or PBP for short, Palembang Bird Park, or PBP for short,
the first bird park in Palembang, citing the first bird park in Palembang, citing
the lack of tourist attractions in the lack of tourist attractions in
Palembang city. The sightseeing tour Palembang city. The sightseeing tour
of Palembang Bird Park starts at 08:08- of Palembang Bird Park starts at 08:08-
18:00. With 50,000 rupiah tickets, you 18:00. With 50,000 Rupiah tickets, you
can easily join this tour. To get to can easily join this tour. To get to
Palembang Bird Park attractions, you Palembang Bird Park attractions, you
can use Google Maps by typing' can use Google Maps by typing
Palembang Bird Park' in Google Maps. 'Palembang Bird Park' in Google
Palembang Bird Park is equipped with Maps. Palembang Bird Park is
various facilities such as parking, equipped with various facilities such as
restrooms, prayer room, cafeteria, parking, restrooms, prayer room,
nursing room, lounge area, cafeteria, nursing room, lounge area,
playgrounds such as fish spa, horse playgrounds such as fish spa, horse
riding and fishing. You only need to riding and fishing. You only need to
pay Rp.10.000 to enjoy the rides at pay Rp.10.000 to enjoy the rides at
Palembang Bird Park. Experience the Palembang Bird Park. You only need to
fish spa and ride a horse for Rp 25,000. pay Rp. 25.000 to experience the fish spa
It feels like fishing for 20,000 rupiah. A and ride a horse for Rp 25,000, and for
Hungry tourists can also enjoy a meal fishing you have to pay Rp. 20.000. A
at the cafeteria. Palembang Bird Park is Hungry tourists can also enjoy a meal
home to a wide variety of small and at the cafeteria. Palembang Bird Park is
large birds, including Australian home to a wide variety of small and
parakeets, canaries, crows, white-tailed large birds, including Australian
eagles, starlings, emus, owls, eagles, parakeets, canaries, crows, white-tailed
parrots, ostriches, white peacocks and
 25

pink macaws, rabbits, iguanas, cats, eagles, starlings, emus, owls, eagles,
tortoises, tortoises, fish, snakes, parrots, ostriches, white peacocks and
crocodiles, alligators, kangaroos and pink macaws, rabbits, iguanas, cats,
many other animals besides birds. tortoises, tortoises, fish, snakes,
crocodiles, alligators, kangaroos and
many other animals besides birds.
Closing
A visit to Palembang Bird Park is not A visit to Palembang Bird Park is not
complete if you go it alone. You can complete if you go it alone. You can
invite your friends and family to share invite your friends and family to share
the excitement of interacting and the excitement of interacting and
learning with animals as part of your learning with animals as part of your
educational tour. Interesting. What are educational tour. Are you guys
you waiting for to visit Palembang Bird interested? What are you waiting for?
Park? Want to travel? to visit Palembang Bird Park? Come
and visit Palembang Bird Park!

After doing product testing to some experts, finally the writer got the final
product of the script that was ready to implement into Palembang Bird Park video.

Table 4.9
Final Draft

Hook
Under the guidance of a keeper, would you like to experience the sensation of
interacting directly with animals while learning about various bird species?
This is the Palembang Bird Park located at Jalan Gubernur H.A. Bastari, Opi
Mall, Rambutan, South Sumatra.
Introduction
Speaking about tourism, of course, there are many types of tourism destination
in Palembang, one of which is educational tourism or in short edu-tourism in the
province of South Sumatra. People may be familiar with the word ecotourism,
which is edu tourism has one purpose to create opportunities for travelers to
 26

obtain new experiences and knowledge on a wide range of topics. Especially in

the city of Palembang, there are many tourist attractions that educate, one of
which is the Palembang Bird Park.
Body
Palembang Bird Park first opened in 2015. Palembang Bird Park was built for
an educational purpose, especially for children. Earlier, the owner of Palembang
Bird Park first opened another bird park in Bandung. Mrs. Susan and her
husband Teddy opened Palembang Bird Park, or PBP for short, the first bird
park in Palembang. The sightseeing tour of Palembang Bird Park starts at 08:08-
18:00.
With 50,000 Rupiah tickets, you can easily join this tour. To get to Palembang
Bird Park attractions, you can use Google Maps by typing 'Palembang Bird
Park' in Google Maps.Palembang Bird Park is equipped with various facilities
such as parking, restrooms, prayer room, cafeteria, nursing room, lounge area,
playgrounds such as fish spa, horse riding and fishing. You only need to pay
Rp.10.000 to enjoy the rides at Palembang Bird Park. You only need to pay Rp.
25.000 to experience the fish spa and ride a horse for Rp 25,000, and for fishing
you have to pay Rp. 20.000. A Hungry tourists can also enjoy a meal at the
cafeteria. Palembang Bird Park is home to a wide variety of small and large
birds, including Australian parakeets, canaries, crows, white-tailed eagles,
starlings, emus, owls, eagles, parrots, ostriches, white peacocks and pink
macaws, rabbits, iguanas, cats, tortoises, tortoises, fish, snakes, crocodiles,
alligators, kangaroos and many other animals besides birds.

Closing

A visit to Palembang Bird Park is not complete if you go it alone. You can invite
your friends and family to share the excitement of interacting and learning with
animals as part of your educational tour. Are you guys interested? What are you
waiting for? to visit Palembang Bird Park? Come and visit Palembang Bird Park!
 27

This was the last stage of the steps, in this stage, the writer used the final
draft as the final product. This was considered as the result, and it would not pass
any testing anymore. It is a video script which contains information about
Palembang Bird Park.