Colegiul National “Mihai Viteazul” Ploiesti

PORTOFOLIO

Student: Pruna Vlad

Class: 11M1
Coordinating teacher: Janin Pintea
 2022-2023
Contents
Foreword…………………………………………………………………………....3
I. The History of Etiquette………………………………………………………….4
II. Etiquette’s Importance………………………………………………………......6
III. The Youth’s Ignorance towards Etiquette……………………………………...8
Conclusions…………………………………………………………………….....10
 Foreword
According to Oxford Dictionary, etiquette is defined by the customary code
of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.
Consequently, the reason why this definition has been valid throughout its
existence is that “the customary code” had suffered changes perpetually.
Moreover, these changes were influenced by the amount of time which had passed,
the more time had passed, the more evolved they became. The term “etiquette” is
derived from the French word “étiquette” which means “little ethics”.
Starting from the definition, people have the idea that etiquette and manners
are somehow synonymous. This is not true at all, there is a correlation. Etiquette
consists of the traditions and the code, but manners are the way one is carrying out
the code. One emotion which is a pillar in etiquette’s composition is empathy.
Without it, it is impossible for natural good acts to exist in a community.
Etiquette had added value to the high classes since it appeared. It has always
made visible a distinction of considerable size between the high and the low.
Therefore its importance has existed constantly, but nowadays it suffers a great
minimization. Etiquette is required for a successful life, also, it was not seen any
high-ranking person has been seen not fitting the respective norms.
To continue, youngsters have a small rate of understanding and respecting
etiquette. Scientists have found out that the reason social codes are not as much
obeyed as they used to be is that younger generations tend to have a lot more
anxiety problems this leading to a scarcity in social knowledge. In simpler terms,
anxiety stops them from observing and perfecting their ways of acting and
behaving. Ironically, the cause of anxiety in this field is being afraid not to be
judged by standardized criteria, by an etiquette.
 The History of Etiquette
First mention of any code which could be associated nowadays with
etiquette dates from the third millennium BC. At some point between the years
2375 and 2350 BC, an ancient Egyptian vizier named Ptahhotep wrote “The
Maxims of Ptahhotep”,a book in which it was written about civil virtues, such as
truthfulness, self-control and kindness. The book’s main principle was that
attaining justice should be one community’s aim. Thus, Ptahhotep’s maxims give
the concept of correct behavior in the presence of important people. Another
teaching in the book is the right way of being a leader through kindness and
generosity towards friends and family which should be praised.

Confucius (551-479 BC) was a famous Chinese philosopher whose work

was targeted in the same direction. He emphasized morality, correctness and
sincerity in social relationships of all kinds.
 Baldassare Castiglione (1478-1529) ,count of Casatico and Italian diplomat,
was the author of “The Book of the Courtier”, released in 1528. The book had in
sight questions of the etiquette and morality of the courtier during the Italian
Renaissance.
Louis XIV(1638-1715),a very influential king of France, tamed the French
nobility using a codified etiquette. As a consequence, important figures from all
over Europe were impressed by the royal court at the Palace of Versailles, which
determined several countries, later all of them, to take up this example from
France.

In the 18th century, represented by the Age of Enlightenment, the adoption of

etiquette was a common act in one’s life. The person was identified as a member of
the upper class when mastering the conventions of politeness and normative
behaviors. To identify with “La crème de la crème”, the middle and the low classes
used to adopt the way of behaving and the artistic preferences of the upper class.
Therefore, ambitious people of the two classes occupied themselves with learning
and practicing the code of social etiquette, including the art of elegant dressing, the
talent of maintaining gracious conversations and when to show emotion.
“The spectator”, a daily publication founded in 1711 by Joseph Addison and
Richard Steele, regularly advised their readers on the etiquette required for a
gentleman, a man of good and polite conduct. In addition, the editors published
articles written by educated authors. There were provided topics for mannered
conversations and advice for managing civil social interactions.
The first, modern usage of etiquette was by Philip Stanhope 4 th Earl of
Chesterfield in the book “Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the
World and Gentleman” (1774), in which there is a correspondence of more than
400 letters. The letters were instructive, concerning various subjects that a
gentleman should know. Philip also mentioned that mastery of etiquette was a
crucial constituent of social advancement.

The Victorian era (1837-1901), almost a whole century, made society

experience great development in terms of social norms. Etiquette had thrived into a
complex system of codified acts, which ruled the expanse of manners, from proper
language and style to conventionally using cutlery while eating and regulation of
interaction between people among different social classes.
 Etiquette’s Importance
For many people, the word “etiquette” seems to be outdated and gained old-
fashioned connotations similar to gentlemen wearing toppers and ladies keeping
hands covered by white gloves. These outlooks are completely wrong, etiquette
being even more relevant today than it used to be in the Victorian times, as we live
in a world where technological advancement has led us to passing over
geographical boundaries. Additionally, face-to-face communication is not the main
way of exchanging information anymore, our social code has extended its limits.

The Slight difference between etiquette and manners

Children are often told fairy tales with a moral similar with the story of
“Goldilocks and The Three Bears” to teach them about good manners.
Nevertheless, it is proper ethic knowledge which dictates us the way of behaving in
a particular situation. Both of them are significant in social interactions, but
etiquette is a set of social rules which are regarded as positive human interactions,
while manners are behaviors that reflect a person’s attitude. The key difference is
that the former changes with the social customs and norms, but the latter remains
unchanged across communities. It is good manners that follow proper etiquette.
For example, etiquette has rules over introducing yourself over several cultures,
good manners are universal and they will determine you to say “please” and “thank
you” when needed and not interrupt others. If you display good manners and
follow the etiquette rules, you will always show your best version to the outside
world.

In the book “Why I Write”(George Orwell,1946) the author mentions

England as “the most class-ridden country under the sun”. Therefore, etiquette
should not be associated with an aristocratic, exclusive social code. In most groups,
learning the right protocol and conducting yourself matters more than the school
you attended. Regardless of one’s age, background or race, having good manners
will break down barriers and create a more civilized environment to live in.
To continue with, etiquette’s and manner’s importance are proportional with
their benefits. A part of their greatest benefits are the following:
1. “Treat others the way you want to be treated”. We had all heard this saying
at least once in our lives. Acting in a well-mannered way shows the fact that
you have respect for others and, in return, you are more likely to be
respected and trusted. The combination between the two helps you earn
respect.

2. They charm you personality. Etiquette and good manners beautify your
personality by enhancing your social skills and adding a surplus of charm.
For example, simple gestures such as offering your seat to an elderly or
disabled person will create a positive impression upon yourself.

3. They increase your confidence. Good manners make you a more pleasant
person to be around and will draw others towards you like a magnet.
Knowing how to behave will earn you positive feedbacks from your peers
and help build your confidence and self-esteem. Furthermore, for people
who master social skills, it is more presumptive to succeed professionally.

4. They make relationships smoother. The reasons why knowing how to

behave yourself equal good relationships are endless, but the main idea is
that it helps you get over your pride and consider more the feelings of others.
5. They keep you motivated and happy. Being kind and generous towards
people makes you feel good about yourself. Even when faced with difficult
situations, this feeling will help maintaining a calm conduct. Showing your
natural way of being is well-mannered will raise your self-respect and
confidence, keeping you motivated.

6. You have better control over your emotions. Your natural stance becomes
calmer every time you succeed to deal with uncomfortable situations. Thus,
figuring the solution to every problem is getting easier and in a controlled
manner.
 Youth’s Ignorance towards Etiquette
Teaching children manners, in today’s fast-paced and technology-driven
world, is the most critical aspect of keeping etiquette alive. A parent’s
responsibility nowadays is to help their children gain social skills, showing them
how to interact using a courteous manner and teaching them the value of treating
others with respect. Regardless the opportunities, holiday gatherings or family
meals, good manners in children will become a habitual part of their lives, even
beyond childhood.

Lack of manners in young generations is becoming a worldwide social

problem and it is getting worse. Given that we see bad behavior everywhere
around us, we, as adults, have the capacity of distinguishing good from bad, but
youngsters simply do not understand it. Accordingly, we can have no expectations
from them at all, they are absorbing the information that is given by the world, that
they see every day. Violence and vulgarity are promoted all around the world,
whether we want it or not. Children shall learn from their parents about these
concepts, but most parents are so used to these that they are not aware of the
inexistence anymore. Moreover, for the youth to adopt a good conduct, there must
be effort put into it by parents and eventually by the media as well. If the
information delivered by the media does not change its nature, there are low
chances for such a revolutionary move.

There are several studies that confirm the fact that children do not practise
basic manners. Here are some examples of honorable habits that are altered:
 Greeting people properly. Good knowledge over etiquette means having eye
contact when saluting others or speaking to them, listening to their ideas and
responding to their questions.

 Engaging with the person next to them instead of staring at a phone’s

display. This behavior is very common among both adults and children and
there is a term for it as well. This act is called “phone snubbing”. When with
family or a group of friends, it is kept right on using phones of gadgets to
keep distracted from the real world and if one really tries to maintain a
conversation with a specimen of this kind, it may be irritating for that
person.

 Helping people around us is a rarity at this moment in time. How many

young people have you seen offering their help to the ones in need? The real
answer is that there are a few who would, but those few are a real minority.
The causes of this happening go hand in hand with “phone snubbing”, as
youngsters do not poses the skill of observation, or simply vanity, the desire
to laugh of others who are weaker.

 Saying “thank you” and “please”. This is a truly sad fact to add on the list.
Many children today are rude even when someone serves them, at a
restaurant or similar setting, or when requesting an object or service, it
would not hurt to add one of the two phrases. Such simple acts are difficult
to be learnt unless they were taught when only a toddler.
 As mentioned, it is regretful to say that such basics are on the edge of
extinction, but it is not too late for recovery as well. There are improvements
to be made which could lead to a harmonious growth. Good influences and
examples from parents are crucial, but two straightforward steps are to make
considerable changes:
First is to realize the importance of empathy. Focusing on others and
not only ourselves will determine you to see the ones who are in need of
help. Figure out how you can help the one who needs your help.
Second is to turn off the TV, limit the phone use and ignore all the
tomfooleries happening in other places. Open your eyes, look out, observe
the outside world and do not pay attention at the online drama anymore.
There is plenty to do in order to detoxify your brain.
Conclusions

To sum up, etiquette and manners have existed since first civilizations, but
late in the timeline people discovered its importance and since then they have
embraced it throughout our evolution. As a result, they have brought us more than
enough evolution. From the three latest centuries we have learned that the human
race has the capacity to create complex codes of recognition, so chaos would exist
no longer as much as it used to. For example, empathy, the greatest compound in
etiquette, has brought us the good we needed to overcome the bad.
After its peak, mass-media has spread in popularity and with the pleasing
pluses it has come, there was a detrimental minus, the speed with which the filthy
messages were increasing and from then on. There is a constant decrease in
etiquette’s value. As many elderly people mention, the world is getting gradually
expressive and even vulgar. Thus, this is the time when we need etiquette the most
for continuing our path to the goal of evolution. Our world is detaching itself from
social activity and the main thing which embraces it is etiquette. Therefore,
etiquette matters the most at the moment.
 References

Orwell, George, Why I write-1946

https://www.countryliving.com/entertaining/a29265924/modern-etiquette-rules/

https://www.verywellfamily.com/teaching-children-manners-
620111#:~:text=Good%20etiquette%20means%20looking%20the,children%20are
%20sorely%20lacking%20today.

https://kidsinthecity.pl/benefits-of-learning-etiquette-and-manners-for-children-
and-adults/

https://www.polishedmanners.co.uk/why-do-we-need-etiquette/

https://www.manorcourses.co.uk/the-importance-of-etiquette/#:~:text=Etiquette
%20today%20is%20largely%20based,stronger%20personal%20friendships
%20and%20relationships.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etiquette