FAMILY APOSTOLATE AND ACCOMPANIMENT

Introduction

Family is the first school of Faith Formation and parents are the first teachers. According to
the Catechism of the Catholic Church family is the union of a man and a woman through
marriage and together with their children. In Ephesians 5/31, St. Paul states “For this reason
a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become
one flesh.” Family Apostolate is the mission that helps the families to grow, renew and
sanctify in the union of love and life.

What is Family Apostolate

The term Apostolate comes from the word ‘Apostle’, and it means to be sent out.
Apostolate means the activity of the apostles. Family apostolate stands for what the Church
does for the family. It includes all her services for the family, present and future which
means evangelization of the family. Family apostolate takes into account the Christian
formation of the entire family.

Jesus’ Ministry for the Families

It is considersed for families and looked after them, especially when they needed
consolation and comfort. He visited bereaving families and comforted them (Jn. 11/1ff; Mt.
9/18ff; Mk. 5/22ff; Lk. 7/11ff). He visited the sick in their families and cured them (Mt.
8/5ff; 14ff; Lk. 7/1ff; Lk. 14/1ff; Jn. 4, 46ff). He cared for sinners and visited their families
to convert them (Lk. 14/1ff; 19/1ff; Jn. 12/1ff). He loved children and blessed them; he
even scolded His own disciples for being harsh toward children (Mk. 10/13ff). He was so
concerned about the future of His mother after His death and therefore He entrusted her to
His dear disciple (Jn. 19/27).

Theology of Family Apostolate

Gen. 1:27 God said, “Let us create humans in our own likeness and image” and he created
them male and female”. God wished the primordial couple to be in His presence and to
participate in His life and mission. This is the dream of God about each family (Gen.
2/16ff). John Paul II said “Family, become what you are ''. The one who protects and
safeguards the family does the same to the image of God that is in the family.

1. Magisterial Teachings on Family Apostolate

The Church was guided by the clear views of the Fathers of the Church on Marriage based
on its purpose ‘love and procreation’. In 1563, the Council of Trent adopted the first
dogmatic and disciplinary decrees on marriage defending the sacramental character of
marriage. Following are the main teachings of the church regarding the Family and its
various divine aspects:
A Arcanum Divinae Sapientiae
In 1880 Pope Leo XIII published the encyclical Arcanum Divinae Sapientiae on the
sacrament of matrimony to counteract the evils of secularization which destroys the family
like a parasite. Its main thesis is that the marriage contract and the sacrament cannot be
separated. Marriage is not something instituted by man, but rather something instituted by
God in nature. The divinely instituted marriage contract initially had two properties: unity
and indissolubility.

B Casti Connubii

Casti Connubii (of chaste wedlock) is a papal encyclical promulgated by Pope Pius XI on
31 December 1930 on Christian marriage emphatically asserting its nobility and sacredness.
It prohibited Catholics from using any form of artificial birth control and reaffirmed the
prohibition on abortion.
C II Vatican Council
The council did not spell out Family Apostolate or different activities of the apostolate,
rather it reminded authorities and other responsible persons of their duty to work for the
welfare of marriage and the family.

D Evangelium Vitae
Evangelium Vitae, or The Gospel of Life, is John Paul II’s encyclical on the sanctity of all
human life. This beautiful and loving encyclical addresses our relationship with God, how
to build a culture of life, and the importance of seeing dignity in every person - born or
preborn, old, or young, sick or healthy. The predominant message of this work in John Paul
II’s words, “protecting and promoting marriage and the family protects and promotes a
culture of life”! E Humanae Vitae (Pope Paul VI – 1968)

Humanae Vitae formulates the fundamental principles concerning conjugal love and
responsible parenthood. Conjugal love, like a marriage itself, was instituted by God ‘to
realise in mankind his design of love’ and to enable spouses to collaborate with God in the
generation and education of new lives. Through Humanae Vitae the Church once again
declared that the family is one of her primary concerns.

F Gratissimam Sane

In the International year of the family (2 February 1994), John Paul II wrote this letter to
the families by pointing out that there are many paths to Christ but that “the family is the
first and the most important.

G Familiaris Consortio (Magna Carta of the family)

On November 22nd, 1981, during the Synod, John Paul II issued Familiaris Consortio (4th
year of his pontificate) incorporating the deliberations and the suggestions of the bishops.
In Familiaris Consortio Pope John Paul II gives top priority for the Family Apostolate and
he deals with it at length. The services we extend to the families should suit their position
and their stage of growth. Familiaris Consortio has the following to say about it: The
Church’s pastoral action must be progressive, also in the sense that it must follow the
family; accompanying it step by step in the diverse stages of its formation and
development. Though we were doing the family ministries, it was not termed ‘Family
Apostolate.’ John Paul II is the one who used this term for the first time.

2 Accompaniment an Essential Part of Family Apostolate

All the major articles on families call for accompaniment particularly Pope Francis’
Amoris Letitia takes a very dynamic and positive view of the fact that families need
constant accompaniment. The accompaniment of God starts right at the creation, and he
likes to be with humans who are exactly in His “image” and “likeness” (Gen. 1/26).
2.1. Accompaniment in the Light of Amoris Laetitia

We must all learn, individually and collectively, to walk with couples, to accompany them
on their journey, to find them where they are, to act heroically, to speak and have some
role in assisting them to walk better with Christ. Pope Francis announces at the very
beginning of Amoris Laetitia: “The joy of love experienced by families is also the joy of
the Church”.

2.2. The Concept of Accompaniment

The accompaniment can be defined as a temporary help that an elder brother or sister in
faith and in discipleship gives to a younger brother/sister in faith, sharing with him/her the
experience of the ‘way’, so that he/she can discern the action of God in his/her life and
decide to respond to it with freedom and responsibility. In the light of the scripture we can
see that the accompaniment of God inspired many people like Abraham, Moses, Jacob,
Isaac and Joshua, Judges, Kings, and Prophets to be good accompanying mediators
between God and the people.

Pope Francis clearly explicates the art of accompaniment in the following manner: The
Church will have to initiate everyone-priests, religious and laity-into this “art of
accompaniment” which teaches us to remove our sandals before the sacred ground of the
other (Ex. 3/5).

2.3. Need of Accompaniment

When a person is burdened with his or her own expectations, he or she is prevented from
seeing the truth or forced to move away from the truth. The person who is in confusion
would be forced to make a wrong decision which would perish his/her life. Due to
prejudices, selfish motives, false expectations, one cannot be a good companion among
others. Luke the evangelist depicts in the Emmaus Event (Lk. 24/13-35), Jesus as the true
companion with all the elements for companionship. He listens, understands, shares what
he has and himself too.
2.4. The Progression of Accompaniment

Amoris Laetitia treats accompaniment in its discussion of proximate marriage preparation

and in its reflection about couples in the primary years of their marriage. The document
begins as follows: “It is necessary to welcome and accept a desire and to accompany this yearning
so as to make the seeds of the Gospel grow in people. The specific characteristic of pedagogy of
love consists in helping couples to make sure that their love does not grow in an excessively private
or isolated setting, which fosters the merely individualistic interpretations of human sentiment.”

3 Family the First Place of Accompaniment

The first place in which we are accompanied is the family. It is normally our mother’s hand
that first accompanies us to Mass and helps us, in a loving, maternal way, to know the
Church and the faith that enlightens us.

3.1. Accompanying the Young Couples: A Necessity

Accompanying the young couples in their first years of married life is a dire need of the
time. Pope Francis insists: “it is all the more essential that couples be helped during the
first years of their married life to enrich and deepen their conscious and free decision to
have, hold and love one another for life”. Because often the engagement period is not
long enough, and the decision is precipitated for various reasons and, what is even more
problematic, the couple(s) themselves are insufficiently mature.

3.2. Role of the Experienced Couples

Together with the eventual cooperation of associations, ecclesial movements and new
communities, the experienced couples can also help younger couples by means of
encouraging them “to essentially be open to the great gift of children”, emphasising “the
importance of family spirituality, prayer and participation in the Sunday Eucharist” and
encouraging them “to meet regularly promote growth in their spiritual life and solidarity in
the concrete demand of life”. In those attempts, for the experienced couples, parish is a
place of pastoral accompaniment.
3.3 Pastoral Perspectives of Accompaniment

Pope Francis provides some pastoral perspectives saying that the Church wishes with
humility and compassion to reach out to the people and families and help them through
discernment, dialogue and prayerful support and understanding to overcome obstacles.
He urges that formation for marriage and family life needs to begin at an early stage.
3.4 Stages in the Process of Accompaniment

The Amoris Laetitia has described the process of having accompaniment in various stages.
The first step is that “Each must set aside all illusions and accept the other as he or she
actually is: an unfinished product, needing to grow, a work in progress”. The next one is to
recognize that “the first powerful feelings of attraction give way to the realisation that the
other is now a part of my life”. Another is to see “life as a common project.”

3.5. Responsibilities of the Agents of Pastoral Accompaniment.

Pope Francis (Amoris Laetitia), in accompanying the young couples, invites the
experienced couples, the parish, pastoral workers, groups of married people, pastors,
movements, schools and other church institutions, etc.

3.6. Attitudes and Aptitudes for the Responsible Accompaniment

All of those who accompany must practise “prudence, understanding, patience and docility
to the Spirit”. Accompaniment also requires great faith and hope in God like Father
Abraham who stood before God ‘bargaining’ to save the cursed Sodom and Gomorrah
(Gen. 18/22-32), and the willingness to bear wrongs patiently and to forgive, since hurting
people often hurt other people.

4. “God is Love” (1 Jn. 4/8)

The teaching, “God is love,” is central to all forms of preaching, pastoral care,
evangelization, and catechesis. Divine love also stands at the heart of marriage and
family. Pope Francis notes that: The word of God tells us that the family mirrors God’s
creative work. The family is called to grow in love and become ever more fully a temple
in which the Spirit dwells.
4.1. The Law of Gradualness

The notion ‘gradualness,’ as a theological category, appears prominently in Pope John Paul
II’s concluding homily at the Synod of Bishops on marriage and family in 1980 and in
Familiaris Consortio. Later on, the Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia retrieved the
term ‘gradualness’ from FC.

4.2. Ethics of Growth and Ethics of Mercy

For Pope Francis, the message of mercy stands in the centre of the gospel. In his very first
exhortation, Evangelii Gaudium, Pope Francis emphasises that the Church is/should be a
place of mercy freely given, where everyone can feel welcomed, loved, forgiven, and
encouraged to live the good life of the Gospel. The unconditional mercy and love of God
invite the Church to be just to the faithful, triggering them to conversion rather than to
condemnation.

5. Family Apostolate - Accompaniment from birth to death

Every age and stage of life has its own special trials and temptations. In Ephesians 4/13-16,
the goal of maturity has been determined. One does not become mature overnight. The
young are called to flee youthful lusts (2 Tim. 2/22). The middle-aged are warned about the
choking cares of this life (Mk. 4/19). Even seniors have their own age-specific temptations.
It is clear accompaniment is a means to the end, but not for accompaniment’s sake. Finally,
the goal of medicine is not merely to avoid sickness and death but to promote health.
Similarly, the goal of Family Apostolate is not simply to avoid hell but to enjoy what Jesus
Christ comes to give us-life to the fullest (Jn. 10/10). It starts now and is fulfilled in
eternity. Accompaniment continues throughout our lives, namely from the conception to
the funeral, helping us to know and live the Joy of the Gospel ever more fully.

Bibliography

CHURCH DOCUMENTS
1. LEO XIII, Encyclical Arcanum Divinae Sapientiae, (10-2-1980), in AAS 71 (1980), 10-
40.
2. Catechism of the Catholic Church, Theological Publication in India, Bangalore 1994.
3. FRANCIS, Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium (24-11-2013), in AAS 105 (2013)
1019-1186.
4. FRANCIS, Post- Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia (19-03-2016), in
AAS 108 (2016) 311-518.

5. JOHN PAUL II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (22-11-1981), in AAS 74

(1982) 81-191.

6. JOHN PAUL II, Letter to the Families, Gratissimam Sane (2-2-1994), in AAS 86
(1994), 868-925
7. JOHN PAUL II, Encyclical Letter Centesimus Annus (1 May 1991), in AAS 83 (1991),
1252-1260.
8. PAUL VI, Encyclical letter Humanae vitae (25-07-1968), in AAS 60 (1968) 481-503.
9. PAUL VI, Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et Spes (7-12-1965), in AAS 57 (1966)
1025- 1120

BOOKS

1. A. CHUNDELIKKAT, ed., Ministering the families, Cana, Thuruthy, 2009, 48.

2. ALENCHERRY J., Family Apostolate, Madhyastan, Changanassery 20182.

3. BURGGRAEVE R., An Ethics of Mercy: On the way to meaningful Living and loving,
Leuven, Peeters 2016.
4. CBCI. All India Seminar Church in India Today, CBCI Centre, New Delhi, 1969,
392-396.
5. FUCHS J., “The Law of Graduality and the Graduality of the Law,” Christian
Morality: The Word Becomes Flesh, Eng. tra. B. MCNEIL, Gill and Macmillan, Dublin
1987.
6. GRANADOS J. - KAMPOWSKI S. - PEREZ-SOBA J. J., Accompanying, Discerning,
Integrating: A handbook for the Pastoral care of the Family According to Amoris
Laetitia, Emmaus Road Publishing, United State 2017.
7. KANNAMUNDAYIL N., Transforming Accompaniment in Consecrated Life an
Integral Approach to Religious Formation in the Light of the Emmans Experience,
Alwaye Publications, Alwaye 2009.
8. Kasper W., Mercy: The essence of the Gospel and the key to Christian Life, Paulist,
New York 2014.