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The Fated Howl Wolves of Little Creek 0

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The Fated Howl

Wolves of Little Creek Book 1


By: Ava King
Copyright 2022 Ava King

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either
products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity
to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely
coincidental.
© 2022 Ava King

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into


a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior
written permission of the copyright owner. The author acknowledges the
trademark status and trademark owners of various products referenced in
this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The
publication/use of the trademarks is not authorised, associated with, or
sponsored by the trademark owners.
Contents

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Epilogue
About the Author
Chapter One

Millie

I stood on a ridge looking down upon Little Creek, Colorado. The


valley was lush, and the town twinkled with bright lights, lights that
suggested to me cozy nights spent with families, with loved ones, with no
cares in the world. Beyond the town were high mountains rising into the
distance where they touched the sky, the peaks shimmering as they melted
into the stars, almost as if they weren’t really there at all. Sometimes I
wondered what would happen if I ran all the way out there. Would I find the
end of the world? Would I find anything?
I sighed gently, the breath curling into a wisp and then drifting away
before it dissipated into the air. I lifted my gaze to the moon. She was full
and sensual tonight, a bright beacon amid the quieter stars. She touched
every part of the world with her silvery fingers, spinning the threads of fate
that tied us all together.
What do you have in store for me? What secret plans are you
weaving, and when are they going to begin?
I had just turned eighteen. I had almost lived two decades, and yet in
so many ways I was still waiting for my real life to begin. There were so
many things I had not yet experienced, so many things that were closed off
to me. Sometimes it felt as though I could only taste the world, only
glimpse it, when really I wanted to fling myself into it as though it were a
warm pool of water and swim around, letting it all swirl around me.
But I guess such a life wasn’t meant for a girl like me.
I stood hidden on the edge of the town, secluded amid the tall trees.
They stood like soldiers, silent guardians watching over Little Creek, the
long branches entwined together, the lush leaves flat and weeping, and they
offered shadow.
I lived in the shadows.
It wasn’t my choice, but that was the way things were. If I could have
my way, I would sprint down the slope and run all the way through the
town, darting into every building I possibly could. There were times when I
felt a pull… You know that pull you feel when you’re up impossibly high
gazing down into an abyss below? You know you shouldn’t let yourself be
tempted like that, you know you should step back, and you do… but there’s
one fateful moment when you almost take the leap, when you almost
abandon everything that you’ve ever been taught and just give yourself to
whatever is coming next.
I wished I were that brave.
Instead, I slowly turned my golden eyes away, my tail swinging like a
pendulum as I headed back into the forest. I so badly wanted to lift my head
up and howl so that Little Creek would be alerted to my presence. I could
imagine it echoing through the valley and making everyone’s ears prick up.
But I did not do that. Instead, I just let out a soft sound, more of a
cat’s mew than anything else. I hung my head and walked back home,
slowly.
***
The air was cold, although I did not feel it thanks to my thick, silver
fur. I darted among the trees, always watching the depths of the forest in
case anything of interest appeared. Mom and Dad always told me to be
careful about the things that lurked in the forest, but I had never had a
problem. The world was quiet and still, and at this time of night, it was
entirely mine, as though I were the ruler of the forest.
I passed a wide tree and something caught my eye. There was a
carving of initials inside a heart. I raised my paw and pressed it against the
bark, my sharp claws making a low clacking sound as they tapped against
the wood. I thought about the people who must have sat here, who etched
their name into this tree so that there would be evidence of their love,
evidence that would last forever. I could almost picture them giggling with
excitement as they hacked away the bark with the knife, glancing over their
shoulders for fear that someone would catch them. When it was done, they
would have looked at their handiwork with pride and excitement, then they
would have kissed, and they would have lost themselves in each other.
I had always wondered what it must feel like to kiss someone, to give
yourself to someone in such an intimate way, to become more than yourself.
That was just something else that was denied to me.
I moved on, escaping the barrier of the forest. The moon appeared
again. I had only been able to catch glimpses of her in the forest, for she
was obscured by the trees. I followed the same path I had been taught since
I was a child; running across a stream and up a slope and along a ridge,
always twisting and turning, running through the bracken and the shrubs,
losing all sense of the civilized world. Then my house came into view. It
was a low, squat cabin tucked away in this hidden part of the world. I
released the wolf, allowing it to ebb back inside my soul. I lost the vivid
senses, and I drew back on my hind legs, returning to my human form.
Long honey brown hair ran down to the middle of my back while the
fur receded, yielding to pale skin that was intermittently dusted with
freckles. My golden eyes turned back to sapphires. I grabbed a dress that
was hanging outside and pulled it over myself. I shuddered as the chill of
the night made itself known to me, and then I headed inside.
*
Mom and Dad were sitting at a table doing a jigsaw puzzle. They
were huddled together. Mom had the same shade hair color as me, and she
currently had a hand supporting the back of her neck, hidden amid the thick
hair. She was so pretty, and Dad always said I reminded him of her. Dad
had a look of intense concentration, trying to figure out what to do next.
The world was a puzzle to him, and he always acted as though there was a
solution to it all if he simply looked hard enough. So far, that solution had
not presented itself to him.
“Hey, honey, did you have a good run? I just made some soup, it’s in
the pot if you want some,” Mom said. I walked over to the stove and poured
myself a bowl of her sweet soup that was filled with chunky vegetables.
Just one mouthful was enough to warm my soul.
“It was pretty good, yeah,” I said.
“Did you stay away from Little Creek?” Dad asked.
I rolled my eyes. It was the same question every time. “I know the
rules, Dad. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“You’ll always be a kid to me,” he said.
“That doesn’t exactly fill me with hope,” I said.
“Go easy on her, Rick. She is 18 now,” Mom said gently. Dad glanced
at her, and there was a twitching in his eyes, as though she had just betrayed
him.
“It’s important to be careful. The world wouldn’t understand if they
saw people like us,” he said. The words were rehearsed. They may as well
have been a mantra. He had been saying the same thing ever since I was
young enough to understand what he was saying. The world was filled with
dangers. It was a terrible, cruel place, at least according to him. I hadn’t
really seen any evidence of that.
“I know, Dad, I know. Don’t worry. I have things under control,” I
said as I leaned against the counter and ate the soup.
“I’m only cautious because I know what could happen. It may not
seem like a big deal to you, but letting you go out by yourself is a huge step
for your mom and me,” he said.
“I know, Dad, and I appreciate the trust you put in me, but you know
that I can’t stay this way forever. The world isn’t as bad as you think. There
isn’t even anyone else out there. It’s so quiet and peaceful. I’m sure that
even if I had howled, nobody would have thought anything of it.”
Dad looked up suddenly and stared straight at me, turning rigid with
fear. “You didn’t howl, did you?” he asked, his voice terse with panic.
“Please tell me you didn’t howl.”
“No, Dad, I didn’t howl,” I said, shaking my head. He visibly relaxed
and breathed with relief. Mom stroked his arm.
“Your father is just tired. Why don’t you go on to bed, Millie? I’m
sure you’ll want to be well rested for school tomorrow,” Mom said. I knew
as well as she did that I didn’t need to be well rested at all and that actually,
I didn’t need as much rest as normal people. But it was her code for wanting
me to leave so that she could have a word with Dad alone. I nodded and bid
them a goodnight before heading to my room, taking the soup with me. I
finished it off and relaxed in bed, straining my ears to try and hear what
they were talking about. I could only catch the odd word, though. Their
voices were muffled. The problem with having wolves as parents was that
they knew all the tricks, and knew how to guard against them.
I set the bowl aside and sighed as I wrapped myself up in the blanket,
wondering if the world was ever going to be open to me. All I wanted was
to taste freedom, to be able to go where I wanted and do whatever I liked
without Dad constantly nagging me. I guess I just never understood what I
had done so wrong for him to not trust me.
*
The only time I was allowed into Little Creek was for school, and
even then, there were strict rules. I got the bus every morning. I felt people
staring at me, and I could hear them muttering about the girl who lived in
the woods. Some of them even theorized that I was a witch. I was tempted
to swing my head around and show them the gleaming gold of my lupine
eyes, but it wasn’t worth the trouble. Dad would have lost his mind.
The bus reached school and I lost myself in the sea of people, trying
not to gag at the stench of their body odor. I still hadn’t gotten used to it and
had to simply try to push the sensations aside.
The day went by in a haze. I smiled at a few people in class, people I
would have liked to become friends with. Dad had warned me against it,
though, so I kept my distance. I didn’t think he understood how much of an
effect it had on me to endure this. All I wanted was to belong, to have
friends, to plan parties and go to the mall and do all the things a teenager
should be able to do. Instead, I was merely an observer tasked to watch the
world yet never be a part of it.
I had begun noticing boys as well. Their scent was different to that of
girls. It was muskier, deeper, and occasionally it had this strange effect on
me. Occasionally, one of them would catch my eye and blood would rush to
my cheeks. A knot tightened in my stomach, but nothing ever came of it.
That was another rule.
During the afternoon I was outside eating lunch, watching the track
team practice. I would have loved to be a part of that. I loved running,
whether it was as a wolf or as a human. There was nothing more freeing
than feeling the wind rippling through my hair, and nothing more calming
than the steady beat of my feet against the ground. It wouldn’t have been
fair to them, though. I was faster, stronger, and had more stamina. I would
have broken all the records in the school. It was another sacrifice I had to
make. I still wasn’t exactly sure why it wasn’t fair. After all, it wasn’t as
though I were taking steroids or anything. The biggest problem was all the
attention it would bring to me. I knew that was the real reason Dad didn’t
want me to take part.
I packed up my lunch and walked away before the practice was over,
because watching more of it was only going to make me sadder.
I returned to my locker to pick up my books for the afternoon when I
heard a commotion. I turned a corner and saw two girls standing around a
third, who was cowering between them. I frowned. Gina was a tall, leggy
dark-skinned girl with hair as dark as midnight. Tanya was a shade shorter,
but she had a big personality. Her golden hair shone under the electric
lights. I wasn’t sure who the third girl was. She looked to be a freshman.
Either way, she was terrified.
My heart broke inside as I turned to step away. I knew that I shouldn’t
get involved. It wasn’t my business, and it might lead to someone learning
about my secret. I could almost hear Dad’s voice in my mind. I closed my
eyes, trying to shut it away, but then I heard the girl whimper and cry for
help.
I couldn’t just walk away. What was the use in being better and
stronger and faster if I couldn’t actually help people when they were
bullied? I had always thought that if you stood by and did nothing, then you
were guilty as well.
I walked up to them slowly. I guessed I was so used to blending into
the background that they didn’t notice me at all. I cleared my throat to get
their attention. Gina’s fist was raised threateningly, inches away from the
girl’s face. She didn’t move it as she turned to look at me. Tanya snarled.
“What do you want?” she spat.
“Well, I’d like you to stop whatever it is you’re doing. She’s clearly
scared,” I said, my words faltering as a lump formed in my throat. Tanya
must have taken it for fear, as she tilted her head toward me and sauntered
closer.
“And what does it matter to you? Are you a cop or something? Are
you really going to mess with my business? Because this is my business,
and if you think she’s scared, then what the hell do you think you’re going
to be?” she asked.
“Just leave her alone. What are you actually gaining from this?” I
asked.
A grim smile formed on Tanya’s face, and she shook her head. “Fine,
you don’t want to leave? That means it’s all the more fun for me. Let’s see
if anyone is stupid enough to come and help you while you’re crying,” she
said and swung at me. My senses were so acute that Tanya almost seemed
to move in slow motion. I watched the arc of her fist and dodged
accordingly. She’d put all her weight into the blow and staggered forward.
She grunted in frustration when she realized what had happened and swung
again, twisting her body around, but again I dodged. Tanya regained her
stance and swung for a third time. This time I caught her fist, and I had to
admit that I enjoyed the look of panic and shock on her face. I bent her arm
back, wanting to make her scared, wanting to make her realize that she
wasn’t the strongest person in the school and that I wasn’t about to let her
be a bully.
She whimpered in pain, so I pulled her toward me and thrust my fist
into her chest. She flew backward, sliding against the floor clutching her
chest and gasping for breath.
Gina was screaming as she ran toward me. I turned to look at her
rampaging forward. I moved quickly and grabbed her with two hands, then
flung her toward the lockers. She landed with an almighty crash and melted
to the floor, a dazed look on her face. There was a dent in the locker from
the impact. A smile flickered on my face. This was a glimpse of what I was
capable of if I actually tried to make a difference. My gaze turned toward
the girl.
“Are you okay?” I asked. Her eyes glistened with tears and she ran
off, her footsteps receding into silence as she made her way down the hall.
My heart swelled with pride, and I thought about all the things I could do if
I applied myself. I could be the protector of the weak, the enemy of bullies
and injustice everywhere. I could—”
“Miss Parker, what are you doing?” a stern voice cut through my
thoughts, and my heart sank as quickly as my pride had risen. Mrs. Hughes
was standing there, her sharp features resembling a bird of prey. She
surveyed the scene and gasped, shaking her head. “We do not tolerate
violence at this school, especially not from young women who will shortly
be going out into the world. You’re supposed to be mature, Miss Parker.
And look at this… you’re causing damage to school property as well?” Mrs.
Hughes said as she walked toward the damaged locker. “I don’t know what
has gotten into you, but this will not be tolerated. It’s detention after school
for you,” she said.
Detention? I’d never gotten detention before!
“No, Mrs. Hughes, please, you don’t understand. They were—” I
began, my voice laced with a desperate plea.
“I don’t care what they were doing, Millie, I only care what you did.
You know the school has a zero tolerance policy on violence. You did this,
and now you must accept the consequences,” she said and went to check on
Gina and Tanya.
I let myself fall against the lockers. Detention… hell. Dad was going
to be so pissed.
Chapter Two

Will

I’d never understand why my parents thought it was a good idea


sending me here. What was I ever going to learn? It was not as though they
were going to teach me valuable skills that would help me in later life. They
didn’t even understand who I was, or what I was.
At least it was all going to be over soon.
“So what are you going to do after graduation?” Danny said. He took
a drag of a cigarette and blew the smoke out of the corner of his mouth. The
back wall of the school rose behind us like the wall of a prison.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess that depends if I graduate or not,” I
said, laughing.
“Come on, Will, things aren’t that bad. I think I’m going to go and
work with my dad,” Danny said.
“Isn’t that, like, far away?”
Danny nodded. “Yeah, but Mom is getting on my nerves, or maybe
it’s me who’s getting on her nerves. Besides, I don’t like this new guy she’s
dating. I think she just wants me to go so she has a chance to live again. Not
that it stops her now. They don’t build walls thick enough,” he said, and I
cringed. “Besides, Dad seems keen to spend more time together.”
“Aren’t you pissed at him for leaving you, though?”
“He was confused, you know. I mean, if you think about it, he was
only our age, and can you imagine having a kid right now? I think I’d
probably run, too. We’ve been speaking a lot recently and he seems to be
genuinely interested in seeing me. He runs a garage and he said I could
come and learn the trade. It would do me good to get out of this place
anyway. Nothing happens here.”
That’s the way some of us like it, I thought. I also held back another
thought that I knew would only cause trouble if I said it; that a man should
take responsibility no matter how old he was. I wasn’t ready for a kid now,
but one day it was going to happen. I just had to meet my fated first.
“Well, it’s not going to be the same without you here,” I said.
“You should come with me,” Danny replied. I could tell that his offer
was genuine. Part of me might even have been tempted to take him up on it.
“Maybe one day, but you know I can’t leave. I have family stuff,” I
said. Danny nodded with understanding.
“I hope this place doesn’t kill you with boredom, though. You’ve got
to find something that will occupy your time. Who are you going to ask to
prom by the way?”
“I’m not sure I’m going to ask anyone.”
“Oh come on, man, we only get one prom. What about Libby?”
I smiled. Libby was cute. She was sweet. She was definitely attracted
to me, but she wasn’t my fated. “I don’t think anything is going to happen
between us.”
“You’re weird, man. You could have half the girls in this school if you
wanted to. What’s the matter with you?”
I shrugged. “I’m just waiting for the right girl, you know? The one
who comes along and makes me feel alive.”
Danny stared at me as though I were speaking in tongues. He took
another drag of his cigarette and shook his head. I had tried to warn him to
stop, but he never listened to me. He was about to speak when I heard
footsteps in the distance.
“Danny, you’d better go. Hughes is on the prowl again,” I said.
“Oh crap, one more detention and they’re going to try to keep me for
another year,” he said.
“I’ll cover for you,” I replied. Danny gave me a grateful look and ran
away. I turned, making sure to block Mrs. Hughes’s view so that she
wouldn’t be able to see any trace of him. She seemed a little startled when
she almost bumped into me as she came around the corner, but that feeling
quickly strayed from her face and was replaced with contempt. She sniffed
the air and looked at the haze of smoke that lingered, and at the burning
embers of the cigarette butt on the floor behind me.
Mrs. Hughes sighed. “You should be in class, Mr. Lincoln.”
“Should I? Oh, I’m sorry. I must have lost track of the time. Thank
you for reminding me, Mrs. Hughes. I’ll get on right away,” I said and went
to move past her. She lifted her hand, stopping me in my tracks.
“Not so fast. You know it’s not going to be that easy,” she said and
walked around me, bending down to inspect the remnants of the cigarette.
“I wasn’t aware you had started this nasty habit. I thought it was just your
friend?” she asked, casting her gaze around in case Danny was hiding.
“Sometimes I just need to unwind. It’s a very stressful time, you
know, what with all this change happening. It’s not easy being young,” I
said, shrugging my shoulders and flashing my charming smile. It usually
worked on most adults, but never Mrs. Hughes. It didn’t stop me from
trying, though.
“It’s about to get even more stressful. It’s going to be detention for
you this afternoon,” she said. I nodded silently. It was simply more time I
was going to be forced to stay in this place.
*
I walked into the detention room and as soon as I entered, something
was different. There were a few different kids there, and an uninterested
teacher who was probably just as frustrated that he had to be here as we
were. I walked to the back of the room and cast my gaze over everyone
there, trying to figure out who was making my senses go haywire. I leaned
back in the chair and breathed deeply, bringing a stillness to my mind so
that I could make the most of my talents. I could feel the energy inside me,
always longing to break free, especially when I did something like this. I
closed my eyes, worried that they might give me away. I couldn’t imagine
the panic that would ensue if I shifted right here in the middle of the room.
Instead, I focused on the scents within the room. I unraveled the
threads of sweat and perfume, and my head swiveled back and forth until it
caught something. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a girl sitting a few
rows in front of me. She had a long veil of cascading hair, light brown in
color. She leaned forward, poring over homework. Occasionally a strand of
hair would fall across her face, and she would brush it back, her slender
fingers so gentle, her skin the shade of alabaster. I hadn’t even seen her
face, and yet already I knew that there was something different about her.
There was something that seemed… fated.
I almost didn’t believe it at first. I thought maybe there was
something wrong with me, but there was no denying the feeling inside. My
heart skipped a beat, and this warm energy cascaded through me and made
me tingle all over. It was as though a mystery of the world had been peeled
away and I was given a new understanding, but then again, I had so many
questions burning in my mind. Who was she, and where had she come
from? What pack did she belong to? How had I missed her for so long?
The shock of it caused me to lose my balance. My chair had been
pushed back, the hind legs of the chair supporting all the weight. Now I
came crashing forward. The front legs slapped against the floor and my
palms smashed against the table. The impact was like an earthquake in the
quiet room, and every single person looked at me. The teacher glared. Other
kids snickered. I didn’t care anything about them, though. This thunderbolt
of a feeling crackled within me, and it was as though a new sense had been
awakened.
She turned her head and for a moment our eyes met. I immediately
looked away, unsure if she could sense this, too. Her eyes were like
sapphires. She had a button nose, and her face was heart-shaped while her
lips were full, like two budding petals that were bursting with life. I found
her completely overwhelming, and I began to think that perhaps this school
wasn’t so bad after all.
When I looked back at her, she had turned her head back. I wondered
if she felt what I felt… if she saw what I saw. I wasn’t usually the type to
turn away, but if she was what I thought she was… damn, had I just ruined
our first meeting? I almost laughed at how much of a mess of things I was
making. I was tempted to push away the table and go straight up to her and
ignore the rules of detention. My parents had always taught me to respect
their rules. I didn’t always do a good job of it, but I tried to make them
proud. Now, it rankled that she was so close to me. My skin itched and I
kept adjusting my position, trying to send her a silent message so that she
might turn around and face me again, but she kept her back to me.
I was going to have to wait for her, and I always hated waiting.
*
The rest of detention was pure hell. I waited for the seconds to tick by
because I wanted to talk to her. It was this gnawing feeling that consumed
me, like a hunger that could not be sated. As soon as we were freed, I
followed her outside, pushing past the other people in front of me, ignoring
their complaints and insults. She seemed just as eager to get out of there as I
was. Just before we left the building, she turned toward me and our eyes
met again. There was a silent understanding that passed between us, and in
that moment I knew she sensed the truth. Her lips parted and I took a step
forward, but she was already out of the door. Now that I had become aware
of her scent, the air was alive with it. The sweet aroma was as fresh as mint
and it danced around me, tormenting me. I burst outside, following the trail,
but then I saw her getting into a car and driving away. I was tempted to shift
there and then and chase it down, but I knew this wasn’t going to be the last
time we saw each other. This was only the beginning.
I had found a stray wolf.
I had found the one who was meant to be mine.
Chapter Three

Millie
My heart was racing. I was already in a whirl when Dad picked me
up, but my thoughts were on other things. Who was that boy? I didn’t think
I had seen him around school before, but he was just like me. The way he
looked at me… I’m sure he must have known it as well. I hadn’t realized
there were others like me here. I wished I could have spoken to him, but
Dad was already mad enough as it was. Still, I could not shift my thoughts
from this stranger. He was tall and brooding, with a mane of dark hair
slicked back across his scalp. A shadow of stubble ran across his jaw
making him look older than he was, and his expression was set in a focused
countenance. His eyes were hazel, as brown as the trees that had so often
kept me company. He had been wearing a jacket, but he had broad
shoulders and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was jacked underneath.
“Millie, are you even listening to me?” Dad said, jerking me away
from my thoughts. I placed my hands in my lap and looked down.
“Yes, Dad, of course I am,” I replied in a small voice.
The car rumbled along, taking us along a winding path that wasn’t
really meant for cars at all.
“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” he said. I went to
speak, but he apparently didn’t want to hear what I had to say. “I’ve told
you a thousand times before that we have to be careful. I always thought
you were a smart girl, Millie, but then you go and do something like this.”
He shook his head, and his words were a torrent of anger.
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“You will be sorry if too much attention gets put on you. I knew it
was a mistake to ever let you go to that school. I should have insisted that
you learn at home. Your mother and I could have taught you everything you
needed to know,” he said. I remained quiet. I knew this wasn’t going to be
the end of it. We pulled up outside the cabin and walked inside. Mom was
waiting for us.
“What’s going on then?” she asked.
“Well, thankfully, because Millie has been so well behaved before
this, she’s not at risk of getting suspended or anything like that. But one of
the girls has a broken rib, and the other was just shaken. It could have been
worse, though,” Dad said, glaring at me.
“It wasn’t my fault. They were bullying this other girl! I couldn’t
stand by and let it happen. I didn’t mean to hurt them, but they weren’t
going to stop. I had to do something,” I said.
“You could have gotten a teacher. You could have told someone else,”
he said.
“There wasn’t time, and you think getting a teacher would help?
People would just see me as a snitch.”
“No, they wouldn’t. You were doing the right thing. It’s better than
assaulting two girls,” Dad said.
“Rick…” Mom said gently.
“They would! You don’t get it, Dad. You don’t go to school. You
don’t know what it’s like there. I don’t have any friends to back me up
because you’ve made me isolate myself. I don’t get to do anything right
because I have to hide, and for once, for once, I actually manage to help
someone and I end up getting punished for it? I can handle getting detention
at school, but I thought that you might actually be proud of me. I just don’t
understand what I have to do to earn your respect. I’ve done everything
you’ve asked of me. I’ve tried to stay hidden as much as I possibly could,
but still, it’s not good enough. What more do I have to do, Dad? What more
do I have to give up? Maybe you should have home schooled me because
it’s not like I’m actually allowed to have a life. You might as well put
handcuffs on me and put a bolt on my door, because that’s about as much
freedom as I’m allowed,” I said, the words shooting out of my mouth like
bullets.
Dad’s nostrils flared and his face was flushed with anger. “You have
no idea what your mother and I have been through to give you this life. You
are free, Millie. I just want you to be careful, that’s all. You don’t know the
danger of the world—”
“What danger, Dad? I’ve been out at night. There’s nothing out there.
The only danger is people like Gina and Tanya, and am I really supposed to
stand by and let them get away with everything? I want to be a good person,
Dad. I’m not going to let them bully people. It’s not fair. If I can do
something to help other people, then I have to do it. Otherwise, what’s the
point of being able to do what we can do?”
“It’s not a trick. If anyone sees you…” Dad said.
“Nobody saw me. I didn’t even turn. Maybe someone else knows how
to live in the world. Maybe I should ask the other wolf,” I muttered.
Dad’s eyes widened. “What other wolf?” he asked. He didn’t seem
angry anymore, just panicked.
“I don’t know, but I sensed him. He was in detention with me. Did
you know about this? Did you know there were other wolves? You always
told me that we were the only ones. What else have you been keeping from
me, Dad?”
“I haven’t been keeping anything from you, Millie,” he said in a blunt
tone. “But it’s probably dangerous to be around him. I don’t want you
speaking to him.”
“I should have seen that coming.” I rolled my eyes and folded my
arms across my chest. I looked toward Mom. “Aren’t you going to say
anything, Mom? Come on, surely you can see how difficult he’s being? I’m
so lonely. This could actually be a chance for me to get to know someone
my own age. I could actually have a friend.”
“You don’t need friends,” Dad said.
I just stared at him and shook my head. There were moments when I
hardly knew him at all. Was this man really my father? How could he just
stand there and treat me with such contempt?
Mom glared at him.
“Your father didn’t mean that, Millie. I know this might be hard to
understand, but things will look different when you’re older. We’re just
trying to protect you, that’s all. You know that you’re one in a Millie-on to
us,” she said, smiling to try and paper over the tension. The pun had gotten
old, though. I didn’t find it as cute as I once did.
“Mom, I can’t go on like this. I’ve done everything you asked, but it’s
still not good enough. Am I supposed to hide away here for the rest of my
life? Am I ever going to meet other people? If there are other wolves
nearby, then maybe they can help us. Maybe they can be our friends.”
My parents glanced at each other again. They had been together for so
long that they could communicate so many things with just a single glance.
I knew by the look on Mom’s face that my fate had been sealed.
“Don’t do anything like this again, Millie, and don’t go after this boy.
I don’t care who or what he is, or even where he’s from. We keep ourselves
secret because it’s the only way we can survive. We have our own world,
right out here. We’re a family, and that’s all you need. I promise you that.
Now go to bed and make sure that you don’t do anything like this at school
again,” he said and pointed to my room. I was so tired. There was no point
in making an argument out of it. Once Dad had made up his mind, there
was no discussing anything. Mom smiled at me, almost as if to try and give
me hope, but I knew nothing was going to change, not as long as Dad felt
this way.
I stared at the ceiling. How could they not see that this was killing
me? I curled up and clamped my hands around my stomach, feeling a
cramping, churning pain because of all the tension within me. I wanted to
be loyal to my parents, but I was craving to be free as well. Something had
to give.
I wanted so badly to be able to obey him, but I knew I wasn’t going to
be able to. I had to find this mysterious boy. I had to speak to him, and
nothing was going to stop me.
*
Tensions hadn’t eased the following day. I took myself off to school
early. People stared at me warily, although some had admiration in their
eyes for what I had done to Gina and Tanya. Perhaps Dad was right. I
wasn’t sure I liked all this attention. The back of my neck burned. I tried to
mind my business as usual, but this time I tried to figure out where the
mysterious boy was. Whenever I opened my senses to try and find it, I was
overwhelmed by a flood of scents, and I found it impossible to trace him. I
wondered if I would actually see him again, or if he would keep his
distance, too. The older I grew, the more I thought about what had actually
happened to Mom and Dad. Something must have occurred to make them
act this paranoid. What if they had gotten into trouble with other wolves and
that’s why they were hiding? I hope I hadn’t betrayed them or anything like
that, although if they had told me what was going on, then maybe I would
be more on their side.
Lunch time came, and I went outside again, enjoying my solitary
company. It took a while, but eventually I sensed a presence behind me.
It was him.
A chill ran down my spine and time seemed to freeze. I had no idea
what was going to happen. He might have been friend or foe, but either way
I wanted to figure it out. I turned to face him, gazing into those hazel eyes.
This time he wasn’t wearing a jacket, and I could see the swell of his biceps
and the hard angles of his muscles that were hinted at by the shape of his t-
shirt. I felt a twitch inside, and my breath deepened. Was this just because
he was a wolf, or was it because he was hot?
“Hey,” he said, his voice a low rumble.
“Hi,” I replied. I kept trying to look away from him, but my gaze was
drawn back. The air seemed to crackle with energy. He looked relaxed,
confident. He wore an easy smile, and his eyes were filled with mystery. He
stood a little closer than perhaps he should have, and I was rooted to the
ground.
“After yesterday I thought that I should come and find you. You ran
away pretty quickly there,” he said.
“I had somewhere else I needed to be,” I replied. He stared at me for a
moment before he spoke again. I got the sense that he was studying me, as
though there was some wrong way to answer the question. Was he the
danger that my parents had warned me about? The rational part of my mind
told me that I should run into the woods and lose myself in the leaves. I
could hear my dad shouting at me in my mind, telling me that I shouldn’t be
talking to this guy, that I shouldn’t be talking to anyone. I couldn’t stop
myself, though. He might have answers. He might have everything I had
always been looking for.
“Are you new in town?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I just keep to myself.”
“What pack do you belong to?”
“I… I don’t have a pack,” I said, averting my gaze in shame. I was
surprised at how openly he spoke about things as well. Was this what
wolves were usually like with each other? How many packs were there? I
had so many questions bubbling in my mind, yet I was so afraid to ask them
because I knew my parents would be angry with me.
“You don’t have a pack?” He looked shocked and furrowed his brow.
He gazed around at the school. “Listen, I think we might have a lot to talk
about. You want to go for a walk with me?”
I checked the time. Lunch was almost over. “What about class?”
He just grinned. “I think you’re going to learn more from me than you
will from them.” He jerked his head toward the building. “Come on, let’s
go.” He began to walk away, and I felt compelled to follow him.
Chapter Four

Will

Now that I had her alone, I could lose myself in her scent. It was light
and flowery, and quite at home with nature. She was not stained with the
taint of the town like so many other wolves had been, and there was
something innocent about her as well. When she said that she had no pack, I
knew that she must have an interesting story to tell. What kind of wolf
didn’t have a pack?
We left the boundaries of the school, crawling through a broken bit of
fence near the back of the school yard. We walked through a forested area.
The path was unsteady and rough, but she didn’t seem to mind. I found it
hard to keep my gaze from her. Strands of hair kept floating along the
hollow of her throat, and there was something about it that was alluring and
enticing. I knew from the first moment I had seen her that she was special,
and I had to assume that she felt it, too; otherwise, why would she be here?
“So… are you really what I think you are?” she asked eventually, her
eyes wide and her tone faltering.
“And what do you think I am?” I replied, arching an eyebrow.
“A wolf,” she said in a hushed whisper, almost as though she was
afraid something was going to jump out and claim her as soon as she
uttered the word. I smirked and nodded.
“Yes, I am, just like you,” I said and then tilted my head. “Although
apparently not as much like you as I might have thought when I caught your
scent in detention yesterday.”
She nodded. “I wasn’t sure what it was at first. You smell different
from the others.”
“We can always sense when another is nearby. It helps to know when
there’s a friend present, or an enemy. But I can assure you I’m a friend. I’m
Will,” I said and held out my hand. She gazed at it for a moment before she
clasped it.
“I’m Millie,” she said. When she took my hand, I felt myself go rigid
inside. It was as though a crackling bolt of energy lanced through me. Her
skin was as soft as satin and as warm as a relaxing bath. As our skin pressed
together it created this swirling miasma of sensations within me, and I was
drawn to her as though we were tethered by an invisible thread.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Millie,” I said. She took her hand away. I
could have held it for longer. We continued walking through this forested
area, our words accompanying the bird songs and the gentle breeze as it
drifted through the trees. I slowed my long stride to make sure that I did not
outpace her. Occasionally, there was the sound of a car rushing by, but we
were hidden from view. It was almost as though we had the world to
ourselves. “So, what’s your story? I’ve never met a wolf without a pack
before.”
“Well, I do have a pack, it’s just really small. It’s me and my parents.
We live… nearby,” she said, clearly being careful with what she said. I
merely nodded. “What about you?”
“There’s a pack in the area. There are loads of us. Only a few of us go
to that school, though. We tend to spread ourselves out. We don’t like
having too many of us in one place. It’s still important to be careful,” I said,
feeling a knot tighten in my stomach. I was so tired of being told to be
cautious. It was as though we were all wearing straitjackets and none of us
were allowed to be ourselves.
She let out a dry laugh. “Sounds like my dad,” she said.
“I’m surprised they haven’t reached out to us. There is safety in
numbers.”
“Dad only thinks there’s safety in hiding. I’m not allowed to do
anything. I even got in trouble with him for what I did yesterday.”
“I did hear about that. I wondered why you were in detention.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt them! They were bullying someone, and I just
wanted to—”
I held up a hand to try and prevent her from becoming more agitated.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know how it goes. You don’t
want to stand by and watch people hurting others.”
She smiled and seemed more relaxed. “Have you done the same thing
then? Have you stopped people from bullying others?”
I stopped for a moment and leaned against a tree, pressing my hand
against the rough bark. Another wolf had been by here recently. Millie
didn’t react, so I guessed that her senses weren’t as attuned. It made me
wonder what her parents had taught her. Usually by this age, we were more
developed.
“I used to, for a while. But then I learned to keep myself to myself.
It’s just that you can’t stop people from being people. There are always
going to be problems to solve, and at some point you have to accept that
you’re never going to be able to solve them all. Besides, I have plenty to
keep myself occupied in my other life.”
“Is the pack busy?”
“Oh yes, we’re always coming and going. In fact, I’m surprised you
haven’t run into one of us now and then or heard our howls.”
“I’m only allowed to run in a certain area, and I’ve always been
taught to avoid the howls of other wolves. I’m not even allowed to howl.”
I stared at her for a moment and shook my head. How could she live
without howling? I had no idea what kind of father she had, but I didn’t
think he was doing a very good job.
I stepped away from the tree and moved closer to her. She crossed her
arms and chewed on her lower lip. I had no idea what kind of game her
parents were playing, but it didn’t seem right. The biggest injustice in the
world was that we weren’t allowed to be ourselves in this human-dominated
society, and the fact that Millie was being deprived of something so sacred
and so pure was just… it made anger burn inside me.
“That doesn’t seem very fair. It’s like you’re not allowed to be a wolf
at all,” I spat. A twig crunched under the weight of my footstep. “We
shouldn’t be raised to live in fear. We’re stronger than that. If you hadn’t
been taught to be constantly hiding, maybe I would have noticed you
sooner.”
She pursed her lips and nodded, her hair falling across her face. It
took her a few moments to brush it away. “He’s just trying to keep me
safe,” she said, although I didn’t get the feeling she was convinced by her
words.
“So I guess if you can’t even howl, you haven’t been taught much
about our culture?” We started ambling along again. I pushed aside a heavy
branch and gestured for her to walk ahead of me. Her bewitching smile
communicated her thanks. I had never known a wolf to be so lost before.
All I wanted was to take her back to my pack and teach her everything she
should know, but the raging impulses in my mind were stark. I had to try
and control myself. If I came on too strong, if I scared her away, I would
never forgive myself. I had to remind myself that she was no ordinary wolf.
“A little, but I’d love to hear more,” she said, brightening at the
prospect of being taught about our people. We reached a shaded glade and
sat down on a mossy log. A few beetles crawled out, their iridescent bodies
making them appear to be shining gems that were moving in the daylight. I
reached my hand out toward one, allowing it to crawl over my palm. A
smile twitched on my face at the tickling sensation before I let it go. It
scuttled along the log and crept into the shadows again. Millie looked a
little disgusted that I had let a beetle crawl over me like that. She didn’t
realize that we were one with nature, and that nature respected us.
“Well, I don’t know how much you know, but I’ve always been taught
that we are an ancient bloodline of creatures that hid our true nature for
survival, but that we are as much a part of the world as anyone else. There
are lots of different stories about our origins, but if you ask me, it was so
long ago that nobody knows the truth, so there’s not much point in thinking
about it. In our pack we have services for the Moon, and there are always
different feasts and festivals going on.”
“That sounds so exciting!” Millie exclaimed. “It’s a wonder you
would ever leave.”
“I know, right? But we’re told we have to live among humans so that
we can learn from them and try and bring the two worlds together. I’m not
sure going to school is the best way for that. Something tells me that the
elders just want to have a break from the pups,” I said with a grin, and she
laughed. “Once we graduate, I don’t think I’m ever going to come back into
Little Creek again. Humans are just… I don’t know. They have a strange
way of looking at the world. It’s like they miss everything that’s important
about the world.”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing myself,” she said. Her eyes were
dazzling. “Dad keeps saying I can learn a lot at school, but all the things
they teach me just don’t seem to matter. I learn more when I’m running
through nature, becoming one with the animals and the plants. I don’t know
why he wants me to learn from them anyway when he doesn’t even let me
be friends with them. I don’t know why he sent me to school in the first
place.”
“Maybe he just wanted a break from you as well. I bet you can be a
handful,” I said, offering her a teasing smile. She blushed and then rolled
her lower lip into her mouth. I wondered if she knew how sexy she looked,
or if she just did it by instinct.
“So what else should I learn about the world then? Are there any more
cultures like us out there?”
“Oh yeah,” I said, leaning back. I swung my leg over the log,
straddling it. She was still facing forward, hands in her lap. Occasionally,
she shifted when she noticed a bug near her. “There are witches and
vampires mostly, although I haven’t had much direct experience of them.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Witches and
vampires?”
I nodded, amused by her reaction. To me, these things were just a way
of life, but she had been sheltered. It was almost like revealing my secret to
a human—not that I would ever have done anything so forbidden.
“Vampires mostly stay out of people’s way. I guess it’s their nature.
Witches, well, you hear some horror stories about them, but I’ve never had
any trouble with them. I knew one once, this old witch who came to our
pack when there was a sickness among our people. She healed us and then
went on her way. Of course, we all have the same thing in common; we
have to keep ourselves secret because humanity would lose their minds if
they ever learned the truth.”
“That’s what Dad keeps saying. Sometimes I’m tempted to run
through the middle of Little Creek and shift in front of everyone, just to see
what would happen,” she said. A tremor of a laugh followed her words, but
she seemed self-conscious when I didn’t laugh along.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’m not as strict as your father, but it
wouldn’t be a good idea. Howling at night is one thing. They can put that
down to an ordinary wolf, but if they actually saw it… they’d lose their
minds. And that would bring the hunters.”
“Hunters?”
A dry taste filled my mouth. My gaze fell to the log, and I noticed that
I had been chipping away the bark with my fingernails. I brushed the debris
away. “Whenever there are strange creatures present, there are always those
who seek to hunt us, who see us as a blight upon the world. When I was a
kid, I used to think it was just a scary story, but I don’t know. I like to think
we’ve hidden ourselves well enough that we can just get on with our lives,
but humans always like to meddle in other people’s affairs. It does make me
laugh sometimes. They involve themselves in other cultures and then get
offended when there’s something they don’t like. If they just kept to
themselves, then maybe they would be happier. Hey, maybe I did learn
something from history class after all,” I said. She flashed a warm smile at
me.
“I’ve always had a feeling there’s something about the world that I
haven’t been able to see before. I knew there was more out there.”
“There is, Millie, and it’s all waiting for you to see. You should come
by the pack sometime. I’m sure they’d love to meet you, and there are lots
of other people our age. You don’t have to worry about making friends there
because we all share the same secret. It’s not like at school.”
Her eyes sparkled with delight at the offer, but that light quickly
faded.
“Dad would never let me,” she said. “I’m not even supposed to be
here with you.” I felt concern grow within my heart. I didn’t like the sound
of her father. What right did he have to keep her from her true nature? Was
she hiding something? Was her father an outcast? I had heard of people
committing crimes against our own kind before and being exiled, but I had
never met one. Was it possible that Millie was the daughter of a criminal? I
hoped not, because it would make things more difficult for the both of us.
“Perhaps I could meet him then. Maybe I could set his mind at ease,”
I offered, forcing a smile that I hoped would cover up my frustration.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not sure that’s going to work, either. I
think it would just be nice to keep talking about the pack. I love learning
about all the things I haven’t been taught. What else is there that I should
know?” she asked, leaning a little closer toward me. Her scent intoxicated
me, and her top had lowered, offering a glimpse of the valley of her
cleavage. My gaze was locked on her eyes. Her lips shone with a natural
gloss, and I was beginning to lose all sense of the world around us. It was as
though nothing else mattered. I could feel the heat threatening to boil my
blood, and something began to thrum in my mind. There was a dry taste in
my mouth. I had been wondering whether I should tell her this or if I should
wait, but the force of emotion in my body was such that I knew I could not
wait. If I was feeling this way, then surely, she must be, too.
“There is… there is a thing known as fated,” I said, my voice a terse
whisper.
“Fated?” she asked, matching my tone. “What’s that?”
She mirrored my position now, straddling the log. Our palms were
placed upon the bark. There was a gentle breeze that wafted through the
glade. The canopy of trees protected us from the rest of the world, and I felt
the fated magic twisting around my soul. I nodded slowly. “It is said that
sometimes when two souls are born, they are linked together, blessed by the
Moon. She sets us on a path where we are bound to each other, and only
true happiness can exist when we find our fated mate. The world is large,
though, and life is complicated. Not everyone has the opportunity to meet
their fated. Sometimes they have to make do with whoever they can find.
Sometimes they fall in love with someone else. But when fated meet, they
are compelled to be with each other and would do anything for each other. I
have always thought that I would meet my fated, even though some people
think it’s a myth.”
“It sounds crazy. How could two people be destined for each other?”
she asked.
I faltered somewhat. The very fact that she’d asked the question
suggested that she didn’t feel the same as I did. Perhaps she needed a little
more convincing. “The Moon makes everything possible,” I said. “A lot of
people would think it’s crazy that people can shift into wolves.”
She laughed at this, although I could tell she was nervous. I was
nervous, too, but I knew what had to be done. My parents had always called
me reckless, as had my teachers. There was a reason for everything, though,
and in this moment, I knew exactly why I was the way I was. There was no
better time to be reckless than right now. “Millie, I don’t think it’s a
coincidence that we met.” I placed my hand upon hers. “I think we are
fated, and I think you know it, too,” I said, and leaned in to pluck a kiss
from her sweet lips.
But they met only air.
She pulled away.
I looked at her, confused.
“What are you doing?” she asked, wrenching her hand from my grasp
and lifting them to her face.
“I… I was going to seal our fates,” I said.
“But we barely know each other. I just met you!” she exclaimed. How
had I misjudged things so badly?
“But we’re fated. I can feel it, can’t you?”
“I don’t even know what fated means! I don’t know if I believe in it.”
“It doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not. The fated are fated for
each other, and we have found each other. I can’t really explain it myself,
Millie, I only know that I have never met anyone like you. I felt the
difference when we first met. I thought you did as well. I’m sorry. I didn’t
think it would be like this. I didn’t think you would mind.”
“You didn’t think? Of course I mind! I hardly know you, Will. Yes,
there might be some truth to this, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to
kiss you! I don’t even know if that’s what I want. I just need a friend. I just
need… I just need to get out of here,” she said and rose from the log. I rose
as well, reaching after her, but she was already moving away.
“Wait, Millie, please… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to do
that. Please sit down and we can talk more.” I gestured to the log and
suddenly all my confidence had drifted away from me. Everything had
seemed so simple and in only a moment, it had all been shattered.
“I need to go, Will. I just need to leave and think about things,” she
said, then she walked away. I could have gone after her. I could have chased
her and tracked her scent, but I knew that wouldn’t have done any good. I
was such a fool for accelerating too quickly, it’s just so hard to fight these
feelings. Everything was all so exciting and exhilarating and her lips were
so tempting… but I supposed the only thought that calmed me was that she
would come back to me.
She had to.
We were fated.
Chapter Five

Millie

I walked as swiftly as I could away from the glade, checking behind


me to make sure Will wasn’t following. My mind was awhirl with
everything he had said. I was only just getting used to the fact that there
were other wolves in the area, let alone witches and vampires. And then he
had started talking about the fated? Oh my gosh… my heart raced inside
and sweat peppered my temples. My skin was flushed, and I just bubbled
with nerves. Everything had moved so quickly, and I wasn’t sure what to
do. I had never even kissed a boy before, and then he was right there in
front of me, so gorgeous and dreamy, and I had backed away?
Maybe I was too much like my father—always living in fear.
I didn’t know what it meant to be fated or even if it was real, but I
couldn’t deny that I felt a pull toward Will. I just… I just wish it hadn’t
been right then and there. I needed more time. I slowed my pace and caught
my breath, leaning against a tree. The bark was rough. I closed my eyes.
When I breathed in, I could still smell his lingering scent. I could still feel
the ghost of his touch upon my hand. Something curdled inside me
whenever he touched me, whenever I was around him. It was as though the
world became alive in a wholly new and fresh way, and I wanted to
experience it again. But this flood of emotions was raw and difficult to cope
with. I hadn’t realized that attraction could be so rampant.
Maybe we were fated. It would certainly explain the intensity, as well
as this feeling of emptiness now that I was away from him, but what did it
mean? How was it going to work? I couldn’t imagine Dad believing this. I
dreaded the thought of him and Will meeting. I could only imagine the
choice words that Dad would have for him. I was going to have to tell him,
though. As much as I hated him for the way he tried to keep me locked up, I
couldn’t just lie to him.
*
It was still daylight when I returned to our cabin. I opened it to find
Dad sitting there, waiting for me. He bristled with anger.
“Where have you been?” he asked before I had a chance to say
anything. He rose and came toward me, sniffing the air. I went to speak, but
again he cut me off. “I smell him on you,” he growled, snarling. “I
expressly told you to stay away from him, but you were with him! What has
gotten into you recently, Millie? I don’t understand this. I can’t believe that
you went behind my back and saw this boy.” He spat the last word as
though it was an insult. Mom came in from another room.
“What’s going on?” she asked softly.
This time it was my turn to cut Dad off before he could speak.
“What’s going on is that Dad is getting angry for no reason again. I was
coming back to tell you what had happened. I was never going to keep this
from you! I don’t know why you have lost your trust in me, but it doesn’t
seem like I can do anything to earn it. You’re so worried about me going off
the rails, Dad, but I’m not. I just want to have a life. I want to know what
it’s like to have friends and to fall in love and to be a part of a pack. You
and Mom got to grow up together. You got to fall in love. I shouldn’t have
to miss out on life just because you decided to live out here and condemn
me to loneliness,” I said.
“That’s not what we’re doing, Millie,” Dad said in a strained tone, but
I wasn’t done.
“No, you don’t get to get out of this, Dad. I’ve done nothing but
follow your orders. I never go into Little Creek, and I never step outside of
the boundaries that you set, but the one time I actually try and help someone
and do the right thing, I get punished for it. And can you blame me for
wanting to see Will? He’s a wolf around my age, Dad. He’s a friend. And
he’s told me so many things that you never did, like witches and vampires
and the fated. Were you ever going to tell me about them? It seems to me
like you’re the one keeping secrets from me!”
“If I do, it’s only to protect you,” Dad said through gritted teeth. If
there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that parents hate it when you point out
their hypocrisy. But Mom had something to say.
“What did he say about being fated?” she asked.
I blushed, the anger within me fading for a moment. “He just said that
sometimes people are meant to be with each other, that they’re blessed by
the Moon,” I mumbled, not wanting to tell them that he had tried to kiss me.
Mom had a thoughtful expression, but Dad had taken over again.
“It doesn’t matter what he told you. It wasn’t his place to tell you, and
just because he did tell you doesn’t mean that anything has changed. You’re
not a part of his pack. You belong here, and right here is where it’s safe. I
don’t know what kind of pack he has, but they’re running a risk if they’re
staying in the area. They should have broken up.”
“Isn’t there safety in numbers?” I asked, staring at him in a
challenging manner. Dad pursed his lips before he answered.
“There’s safety in hiding,” he said, but the words sounded as though
they scraped against his mouth. “You’ve learned what you needed to learn,
now you can get back to living life as normal. I understand that you’re
angry with me, but you have to trust that I know what’s best.”
“And you have to trust that sometimes I know what’s best, Dad. And
you have to trust that I’m going to be safe. I’m able to take care of myself. I
still remember the lessons about covering my tracks and making sure that
nobody is following me. I’m not going to lose all that. You need to have
faith in me, Dad.”
“I do have faith in you, Millie, but I don’t have faith in the world,” he
said, and in that moment, I wasn’t scared of him, nor was I angry at him. I
simply pitied him. I shook my head and threw my hands up in despair.
“Then I don’t know what to do, Dad. I can’t live like this any longer.
It’s driving me crazy. You and Mom might be able to shut yourselves away
from the world, but I can’t. There’s so much more I want to experience, so
much more I want to feel!” A profound sense of clarity appeared in my
mind. I knew then what I had to do. There was no question about it at all. It
was going to be hard, though, and I knew they were going to hate me for it.
“I need to go,” I said. “I need to see this pack. I want to know what
it’s like to be a part of an entire community. I love you, I really do, but I
can’t stay here like this. I can’t be this person you want me to be. I’m not a
child any longer. I’m sorry,” I said, choking on my sobs as I turned away
and ran through the front door. I heard Dad cry out for me, and I heard
Mom tell him that they needed to let me go. She mentioned something
about the fated again, but I was already outside giving myself to the wind.
Tears burned my cheeks, but as I sprinted away, I pulled a dress away from
a hanger outside. I clutched it tightly in my hand as I breathed deeply. The
wolf inside me was climbing out, eager to be free, and I was not going to let
her be caged. I embraced the swirling, phantasmal force and felt it surge
within me, filling every pore, burning and passionate. Pain blurred with
pleasure as the transformation took place. I panted instead of breathed, my
blue eyes turned to gold, and my pace increased. The last thing I did was
toss the dress up in the air as my hands turned into paws, and then I caught
it in my mouth. I raced away, heading past the border that my father had
forbidden me from crossing.
Emotions swirled within me, and tears filled my lupine eyes. I looked
back, wondering if Dad was going to chase me and drag me back home.
The horizon was barren and empty, though. It seemed as though I had
finally gotten what I had asked for. I had finally gotten some freedom.
There was a hollow sensation in my heart as I dragged myself away from
the life I had always known. I wanted so badly to be liberated, but had I just
sacrificed my relationship with my parents? I never wanted to abandon
them. I never wanted them to be ashamed of me, but I couldn’t ignore this
calling within my heart. Will was so confident in his abilities—some might
say too confident—but I wanted to possess that kind of self-belief as well. I
wanted to know how to live in this world that was so barbed and cruel, not
just hide away from it. Maybe my heart would always be pulled in two
directions, but it had been following one direction for long enough. It was
time for a change, as painful as it might be.
I circled Little Creek and found myself on the far edge of the town,
and I heard a wolf’s cry.
I followed it, my heart beating frantically in my chest. I walked into
the darkness, my way lit by the silver moon which hung in the sky like a
coin. The air became thick with the scent of wolves. I tried to search these
scents for a particular one, but I hadn’t been around enough people to learn
how to properly distinguish scents when there were so many in one place.
My father had taught me many things, but this was one thing he had never
been able to teach me. I wondered what other lessons had been missing
from my education, and what could only be learned within a pack.
I saw a fire burning. There were squat buildings gathered together,
much like the cabin that Mom and Dad had built. It was basically another
small town, like a Littler Creek. There were wolves prowling around, their
eyes glinting as they caught the night, but some were in human form as
well. They stopped and stared at me, knowing that I wasn’t one of them. I
dropped my dress and shifted into my human form, wanting to show them
that I wasn’t a threat. I covered myself in modesty and angled my body so
they couldn’t see any of my exposed curves. I quickly threw on the dress. A
woman came up to me and wore a curious glance.
“Is Will around?” I asked, trying to sound casual, but I must have
appeared anything but.
Chapter Six

Will

I was still kicking myself after what had happened with Millie earlier.
The day had spun into night, and I was thinking about how I could make it
right with her when suddenly I was summoned. I was afraid someone had
learned about Millie and was going to warn me against her, so I was
surprised when I saw her myself. Her hair was tousled, and her dress was
disheveled, but she looked beautiful.
“Millie, what are you doing here?” I asked, stopping myself from
reaching out to her.
She looked sheepish. “I wasn’t really sure where else to go.”
“Are you okay? What happened?” I looked at her with concern.
She sighed. “Well, I went back home and was about to tell Dad what
had happened when he lost his temper, and I just couldn’t cope with it any
longer. They want me to live the same life as them, but I can’t do it. The
moment you told me about your pack, I knew I wanted to see it for myself.
I want to learn about our culture and our history. I want to know everything
that you know, and I want to feel like I belong to something bigger than I
am. I can only do that here,” she said.
I nodded with understanding. “I get that, Millie, although I have to
say I’m surprised to see you here. I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me again
after what happened earlier.” I rose a hand and scratched the back of my
neck. “I’m sorry that it happened like that. I didn’t mean for it to. I just got
a little carried away I guess.”
“It’s okay… I think. I shouldn’t have been so frightened,” she replied
and then smiled sweetly at me. Her presence here all but confirmed to me
that we were fated. I wasn’t about to tell her that, though, because I didn’t
want to startle her again.
“Seems to me that you’ve spent too much of your life being
frightened. You don’t have to be afraid of anything here. How about I show
you around?” I asked. She nodded and fell into step with me. Our hands
were so close to brushing against each other, but I ignored the pull toward
her. Whenever she was near me, the fated magic pulsed, creating a
cacophony in my mind.
People were curious, although they didn’t bother her. They could
probably sense that she was a little uneasy around us. I took her to a group
of my friends. Aurelia was the first one to greet her. She always was the
personable one. Her raven hair had a purple streak dyed into it. It flowed
straight down the middle of her back, and her dark eyes were inky like the
night. Her smile was wide, though, and she gave Millie a hug.
“It’s so great to meet you! Will mentioned that he had found a wolf
out in the wild. I can’t believe you’ve spent your entire life without a pack!
I can’t wait to hear your story. When you’re done with Will, you should
stop by. We could always use another girl in the group,” she said warmly,
clasping Millie’s hand tightly. I couldn’t have asked anything more from
Aurelia to help set Millie at ease. As we walked away, Aurelia cocked an
eyebrow at me and flashed a teasing smile. She had been just as fascinated
by the concept of the fated as I had, and I knew she was going to be envious
that I had found mine before she had found hers.
“I know today was overwhelming for you. I shouldn’t have told you
everything like that. I should have gone more slowly,” I said.
“No, no, it’s okay. I promise. It’s just me. I’m not used to all this stuff,
but I want to get used to it. I’m a wolf. I belong in a place like this. Mom
and Dad are just going to have to get used to it. That is… if I’m welcome.
Am I really just allowed in here?”
“You’re a wolf. This is your place. At some point, you will have to
meet our Alpha, but I’m sure there won’t be any problems. Jon is not an
unkind man, although I think he will have questions about your parents.”
“I don’t want to get them in trouble,” Millie trembled in fear. I smiled
reassuringly and placed a hand upon her shoulder, hoping that it would
calm her.
“Do you know why they’re so adamant to stay by themselves?” I
asked.
“I don’t. But that’s only half of the problem. The real issue is that they
don’t have faith in me. If I’m on my own for a while, then maybe they’ll be
able to see that I can take care of myself, and then they might start seeing
me as something more than a kid that they have to protect the whole time.”
I was struck by her spirit and her passion, as well as her curiosity. She
was filled with questions about the pack and the buildings, and I was happy
to talk to her. We fell into a natural flow of conversation, and I was filled
with the sense that I had known her all my life. I hoped that she felt the
same. I think she assumed that people would be staring at her and yelling at
her that she didn’t belong. The longer we spent walking through the pack,
the more at ease she became.
“What’s that?” she asked, stopping abruptly. I turned and saw that she
was pointing toward the shrine. It was carved into rock, and a symbol of the
moon stood at the entrance.
“It’s our shrine. Come on, let’s take a look,” I said and led her inside.
The cavern was dark, even for our senses, and it was cold. We walked
through a narrow tunnel, and I explained to her that this place had been here
longer than anything else, and that every pack had one. She was pressed
close to me, and our hands brushed against each other. A loud, deafening
sound was suddenly heard and she gasped, clutching my hand.
Neither of us let go even as the sound receded. It felt as though the
walls were breaking down between us, as though she was feeling the same
magic that was within me.
“Don’t worry about it, Millie, it’s just a waterfall. It’s on the other
side of the mountain,” I said. The cavern opened up to the main shrine.
There was a wide circle with stone benches arranged around it, and in the
middle was a structure made out of rocks. A hole appeared in the cavern’s
rooftop, and a slant of moonlight poured through, highlighting the structure.
A large bowl of water was positioned in the structure, as still as glass. I led
her up to it and we gazed into it, staring at our reflections.
“What is this?” she asked, her voice hushed and reverent.
“This is what the priest uses to communicate with the Moon. It is said
that she sends messages down here to us, and they become visible in the
water. It is where we say our prayers, and some blessed people even see
visions that are given to them by the Moon,” he said.
“Have you ever had a vision?” she asked.
“No,” I replied with a light chuckle, although there was a wistful tone
to my voice as well. “Aurelia has, but I have prayed here.”
“What did she see?”
“That’s something you will have to ask her about. Visions are
personal things.”
Millie nodded solemnly. “What did you pray for?”
You, I thought, but I did not allow the words to pass my lips.
“I prayed that one day I would be happy, that one day I would meet
my fated,” I said softly. I did not turn to look at her, but in the reflection, I
saw that she was looking at me. I couldn’t discern the expression on her
face, though. “Come with me,” I said.
I led her through a twisting, winding tunnel, keeping my hand clasped
tightly with hers. I was glad that she did not make any effort to break our
grip. The tunnel opened and we emerged onto a plateau that stretched out
from the mountain. To the right of us was a huge waterfall that cascaded
down into a wide lake, the water foamy and alive. The world stretched out
before us. The night was inky black, and the stars twinkled brightly. The
Moon was so beautiful, almost as beautiful as Millie.
“This is amazing,” she gasped as she walked out onto the plateau.
“I’ve never seen anything like it before.”
“I love it, too. I like coming here to think, looking out at the world
and imagining what’s waiting for me in the future.” I walked up to stand
beside her. The waterfall crashed around us, but the closer we got, the less
we had to raise our voices. “I think it’s terrible that you had to be deprived
of all this. I can’t imagine having to live so isolated as you have been
already.”
“Yeah… but it’s not been all bad. Mom and Dad taught me to hunt
and use my senses. I was really scared when I first began shifting, but they
told me stories and showed me that I was just the same as them. They’ve
always been there for me when I needed them as well,” she said. I could tell
she was getting emotional.
“They should never have kept this from you, though. You all would
have been welcome with us. Wolves should always be in a pack. I don’t
understand why your dad thinks otherwise,” I said, my mouth curling into a
snarl.
“He just wanted to keep me safe. Oh, what have I done,” she groaned
and raised her hand to her mouth.
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Millie.”
“I have. I just left them there. I was so horrible to them. After all
they’ve done for me, I can’t just leave them like this. I should have talked
about it more. I can’t believe I came here. At the time it was the only thing
on my mind,” she said.
I knew I was going to have to speak gently at this point. The last thing
I wanted was to scare her off again. “Millie, this is what it’s like when
you’re fated. There are times when nothing seems as important as being
with the one you’re fated to be with. I think part of the reason why you
were drawn here is because I’m here.” I looked directly into her eyes. I
could tell she was trying to look away, but she couldn’t bring herself to do
so. “Tell me something; do you feel this haze in your mind? Do you feel
like things are elusive and slipping away from you, and that it’s hard to
concentrate when we’re around each other? Do you feel this strange energy
flashing inside you, as though something has been given life? As though
another sense has awakened? This is a blessing from the Moon, Millie,” I
said earnestly.
“Are you sure this is real?” she asked, her voice faltering slightly.
“You tell me,” I replied and took both of her hands, feeling the surge
of passion as our flesh met. My gaze darted from her lips to her eyes, and
my breath deepened. There were so many things that we still needed to
learn about each other, but all that mattered in that moment was that we
were fated.
“I… I’m not sure what should happen next,” she said.
“We just have to follow our feelings. It’ll all come naturally,” I said,
and this time I was confident that she wasn’t going to flee. I leaned in and
caught the warmth of her breath on my lips in the moment before we kissed.
When our lips met, emotions tumbled and crashed through me as powerful
as the waterfall itself. My eyes closed and I shuddered, almost floored by
the force of this emotion. I pressed a hand against the small of her back and
felt her melt into me. She was so soft and loving, so warm and tender, and it
was as though my heart opened to her, offering her everything.
We leaned back, breaking the kiss for a moment to catch our breath.
Her arms were wrapped around my neck. A smile played on her lips and
delight was in her eyes.
“That was my first kiss,” she said.
“Mine, too,” I confessed. She looked surprised. “I told you I was
waiting for my fated,” I said. And I was right. This time she didn’t run.
Instead, she kissed me back. This time it was deeper, and we embraced even
more tightly. Tension ran rampant within my body, and I was filled with this
all-consuming need to have her. It was a compulsion, a craving, and a low
growl erupted from me.
Millie broke away. “Wait,” she said, her breath turning into pants as
well.
“We can wait as long as you need, Millie. I don’t want you to be
afraid. I want you to feel comfortable. You’re with me now. We’ve found
Another random document with
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dado fin a su xornada, y la
nocturna Diana principio a la
suya, con tanta claridad como si
el medio día fuera. Y estando de
la manera que aueys oydo, la
hermosa pastora le començó a
dezir lo que oyreys.
Al tienpo (o hermosas Ninphas de
la casta Diosa) que yo estaua
libre de amor, oy dezir vna cosa
que despues me desengañó la
experiencia (hallandola muy al
reues de lo que me certificauan).
Dezian me que no auia mal que
dezillo no fuese algun aliuio para
el que lo padezia, y hallo que no
ay cosa que más mi desuentura
acresciente, que pasalla por la
memoria y contalla a quien libre
della se vee. Porque si yo otra
cosa entendiese, no me atreueria
a contaros la historia de mis
males. Pero pues que es verdad,
que contarosla no será causa
alguna de consuelo á mi
desconsuelo que son las dos
cosas, que de mí son mas
aborresçidas, estad atentas, y
oyreys el mas desastrado caso
que jamas en amor ha succedido.
No muy lexos deste valle, hazia la
parte donde el sol se pone, está
vna aldea en medio de vna
floresta, cerca de dos rios que
con sus aguas riegan los arboles
amenos cuya espressura es tanta
que desde vna casa a la otra no
se paresce. Cada vna dellas tiene
su termino redondo, adonde los
jardines en verano se visten de
olorosas flores, de mas de la
abundancia de la ortaliza, que alli
la naturaleza produze, ayudada
de la industria de los que en la
gran España llaman Libres, por el
antiguedad de sus casas y
linages. En este lugar nasció la
desdichada Belisa (que este
nonbre saqué de la pila, adonde
pluguiera a Dios dexara el anima).
Aqui pues biuia vn pastor de los
principales en hazienda y linage,
que en toda esta prouincia se
hallaua, cuyo nombre era Arsenio,
el qual fue casado con una zagala
la más hermosa de su tiempo:
mas la presurosa muerte (o
porque los hados lo permitieron o
por euitar otros males que su
hermosura pudiera causar) le
cortó el hilo de la uida, pocos
años despues de casada. Fue
tanto lo que Arsenio sintió la
muerte de su amada Florida que
estuuo muy cerca de perder la
uida: pero consolauase con un
hijo que le quedara llamado
Arsileo, cuya hermosura fue tanta
que conpetia con la de Florida su
madre. Y con todo, este Arsenio
biuia la más sola y triste uida que
nadie podria imaginar. Pues
uiendo su hijo ya en edad
conuenible para ponelle en algun
exerçiçio uirtuoso, teniendo
entendido que la ociosidad en los
moços es maestra de uicios, y
enemiga de virtud determinó
embialle a la academia
Salmantina con intençion que se
exerçitasse en aprender lo que a
los hombres sube a mayor grado
que de hombres, y asi lo puso por
obra. Pues siendo ya quinze años
pasados que su muger era
muerta, saliendo yo un dia con
otras uezinas a un mercado, que
en nuestro lugar se hazia, el
desdichado de Arsenio me uio,
por su mal, y aun por el mio, y de
su desdichado hijo. Esta uista
causó en él tan grande amor,
como de alli adelante se paresció.
Y esto me dió él a entender
muchas uezes, porque ahora en
el campo yendo a lleuar de comer
a los pastores, aora yendo con
mis paños al rio, aora por agua a
la fuente, se hazia encontradizo
conmigo. Yo que de amores aquel
tiempo sabia poco, aunque por
oydas alcançasse alguna cosa de
sus desuariados effectos, unas
uezes hazia que no lo entendia,
otras uezes lo echaua en burlas,
otras me enojaua de uello tan
importuno. Mas ni mis palabras
bastauan a defenderme dél, ni el
grande amor que él tenía le daua
lugar a dexar de seguirme. Y
desta manera se passaron más
de quatro años, que ni él dexaua
su porfia, ni yo podia acabar
conmigo de dalle el mas pequeño
fauor de la uida. A este tiempo
uino el desdichado de su hijo
Arsileo del estudio, el qual entre
otras ciencias que auia estudiado,
auia florescido de tal manera en
la poesia y en la musica, que a
todos los de su tiempo hazia
uentaja.
Su padre se alegró tanto con él
que no ay quien lo pueda
encarecer (y con gran razon)
porque Arsileo era tal, que no solo
de su padre que como a hijo
deuia amalle, mas de todos los
del mundo merescia ser amado. Y
as si en nuestro lugar era tan
querido de los principales dél y
del comun, que no se trataua
entre ellos sino de la discrecion,
gracia, gentileza, y otras buenas
partes de que su mocedad era
adornada. Arsenio se encubria de
su hijo, de manera que por
ninguna uia pudiesse entender
sus amores, y aunque Arsileo
algun dia le viese triste, nunca
echó de uer la causa, mas antes
pensaua que eran reliquias que
de la muerte de su madre le auian
quedado. Pues desseando
Arsenio (como su hijo fuese tan
excelente Poeta) de aver de su
mano vna carta para embiarme, y
por hazer lo de manera que él no
sintiese para quien era, tomó por
remedio descubrirse a un grande
amigo suyo natural de nuestro
pueblo, llamado Argasto,
rogandole muy encaresçidamente
como cosa que para si auia
menester, pidiese a su hijo Arsileo
una carta hecha de su mano, y
que le dixese que era para embiar
lexos de alli a una pastora a quien
seruia, y no le quería aceptar por
suyo. Y asi le dixo otras cosas
que en la carta auia de dezir de
las que más hazian a su
proposito. Argasto puso tan
buena diligencia en lo que le rogó,
que huuo de Arsileo la carta,
importunado de sus ruegos, de la
misma manera que el otro pastor
se la pidió. Pues como Arsenio le
uiese muy al proposito de lo que
él deseaua, tuuo manera cómo
uiniese a mis manos, y por ciertos
medios que de su parte huuo, yo
la recebi (aunque contra mi
uoluntad) y vi que dezia desta
manera.

CARTA DE ARSENIO

Pastora, cuya uentura


Dios quiera que sea tal,
que no uenga a emplear mal
tanta gracia y hermosura,
y cuyos mansos corderos,
y ovejuelas almagradas
veas crecer a manadas
por cima destos oteros.
Oye a un pastor
desdichado,
tan enemigo de si,
quanto en perderse por ti,
se halla bien empleado;
buelue tus sordos oydos,
ablanda tu condiçion,
y pon ya esse coraçon
en manos de los sentidos.
Buelue esos crueles ojos
a este pastor desdichado,
descuydate del ganado,
piensa un poco en mis enojos,
haz ora algun mouimiento,
y dexa el pensar en ál,
no de remediar mi mal,
mas de uer como lo siento.
¡Quantas uezes has venido,
al campo con tu ganado,
y quantas uezes al prado,
los corderos has traydo!
Que no te diga el dolor,
que por ti me buelue loco,
mas ualeme esto tan poco,
que encubrillo es lo mejor.
¿Con qué palabras dire,
lo que por tu causa siento,
o con qué conosçimiento
se conosçera mi fe?
¿qué sentido bastará,
aunque yo mejor lo diga,
para sentir la fatiga
que a tu causa amor me da?
¿Porqué te escondes de mi,
pues conosces claramente,
que estoy quando estoy
presente,
muy más absente de ti?
quanto a mi por suspenderme,
estando adonde tú estes,
quanto a ti porque me uees,
y estás muy lexos de uerme.
Sabesme tan bien mostrar
quando engañarme pretendes,
al reues de lo que entiendes,
que al fin me dexo engañar:
mira sy hay que querer más,
o ay de amor más
fundamento,
que biuir mi entendimiento
con lo que a entender le das.
Mira este estremo en que
estoy,
uiendo mi bien tan dudoso,
que uengo a ser embidioso
de cosas menos que yo:
al aue que lleua el uiento,
al pesce en la tempestad,
por sola su libertad
dare yo mi entendimiento.
Veo mil tiempos mudados,
cada dia hay nouedades,
mudanse las voluntades,
rebiuen los oluidados,
en toda cosa hay mudança,
y en ti no la vi jamás,
y en esto solo uerás
quan en balde es mi
esperança.
Passauas el otro dia
por el monte repastando,
sospiré imaginando,
que en ello no te offendia:
al sospiro, alçó un cordero
la cabeça, lastimado:
y arrojastele el cayado,
ved qué coraçon de azero.
¿No podrias, te pregunto,
tras mil años de matarme,
solo un dia remediarme,
o si es mucho, un solo punto?
hazlo por uer como prueuo,
o por uer si con fauores
trato mejor los amores,
despues matame de nueuo.
Desseo mudar estado,
no de amor a desamor,
mas de dolor a dolor,
y todo en un mismo grado:
y aunque fuesse de una suerte
el mal, quanto a la substançia,
que en sola la circunstançia
fuesse más, o menos fuerte.
Que podria ser señora,
que vna circunstançia nueua
te diesse de amor más
prueua,
que te he dado hasta agora,
y a quien no le duele vn mal,
ni ablanda un firme querer,
podria quiça doler
otro que no fuesse tal.
Vas al rio, uas al prado,
y otras uezes a la fuente,
yo pienso muy diligente,
si es ya yda, o si ha tornado,
si se enojará si voy,
si se burlará si quedo,
como me lo estorba el miedo,
ved el estremo en que estoy.
A Siluia tu gran amiga
vó a buscar medio mortal,
por si a dicha de mi mal,
le has dicho algo, me lo diga:
mas como no habla en ti,
digo que esta cruda fiera,
no dize a su compañera,
ninguna cosa de mí.
Otras uezes açechando
de noche te ueo estar,
con gracia muy singular
mil cantarçillos cantando:
pero buscas los peores,
pues los oyo uno a uno,
y jamás te oyo ninguno
que trate cosa de amores.
Vite estar el otro dia
hablando con Madalena,
contauate ella su pena,
oxala fuera la mia:
pense que de su dolor,
consolaras a la triste,
y riendo le respondiste:
es burla, no hay mal de amor,
Tú la dexaste llorando,
yo llegueme luego alli,
quexoseme ella de ti:
respondile sospirando:
no te espantes desta fiera,
porque no está su plazer
en solo ella no querer,
sino en que ninguna quiera.
Otras uezes te ueo yo
hablar con otras zagalas,
todo es en fiestas y galas,
en quien bien o mal bayló,
fulano tiene buen ayre,
fulano es çapateador,
si te tocan en amor
echaslo luego en donayre.
Pues guarte, y biue
contento,
que de amor y de uentura
no hay cosa menos segura,
que el coraçon más exempto:
y podria ser ansi
que el crudo amor te
entregasse,
a pastor que te tratasse
como me tratas a mí.
Mas no quiera Dios que sea,
si ha de ser a costa tuya,
y mi uida se destruya
primero que en tal te uea:
que un coraçon que en mi
pecho
está ardiendo en fuego
estraño,
más temor tiene a tu daño,
que respecto a tu prouecho.

Con grandisimas muestras de


tristeza, y de coraçon muy de
ueras lastimado, relataua la
pastora a Belisa la carta de
Arsenio, ó por mejor dezir, de
Arsileo su hijo: parando en
muchos uersos y diziendo
algunos dellos dos uezes: y a
otros boluiendo los ojos al çielo,
con una ansia que parescia que el
coraçon se le arrancaua. Y
prosiguiendo la historia triste de
sus amores, les dezia: Esta carta
(o hermosas Nimphas) fue
principio de todo el mal del triste
que la compuso, y fin de todo el
descanso de la desdichada a
quien se escriuió. Porque
auiendola yo leydo, por çierta
diligençia que en mi sospecha me
hizo poner, entendi que la carta
auia proçedido más del
entendimiento del hijo, que de la
afficion del padre. Y porque el
tiempo se llegaua en que el amor
me auia de tomar cuenta de la
poca que hasta entonçes de sus
effectos auia hecho, o porque en
fin hauia de ser, yo me senti un
poco más blanda que de antes: y
no tan poco que no diese lugar a
que amor tomasse possession de
mi libertad. Y fue la mayor
nouedad que jamás nadie uio en
amores lo que este tyrano hizo en
mí, pues no tan solamente me
hizo amar a Arsileo, mas aun a
Arsenio su padre. Verdades que
al padre amaua yo por pagarle en
esto el amor que me tenía, y al
hijo por entregalle mi libertad,
como desde aquella hora se la
entregué. De manera que al uno
amaua por no ser ingrata, y al
otro por no ser más en mi mano.
Pues como Arsenio me sintiesse
algo más blanda (cosa que él
tantos dias auia que desseaua),
no huuo cosa en la uida que no la
hiziesse por darme contento:
porque los presentes eran tantos,
las joyas y otras muchas cosas,
que a mí pesaua uerme puesta en
tanta obligaçion. Con cada cosa
que me embiaua, uenia un
recaudo tan enamorado, como él
lo estaua. Yo le respondia no
mostrandole señales de gran
amor, ni tan poco me mostraua
tan esquiua como solia. Mas el
amor de Arsileo cada dia se
arraigaua mas en mi coraçon, y
de manera me occupaua los
sentidos, que no dexaua en mi
anima lugar ocioso. Succedió,
pues, que una noche del uerano,
estando en conuersaçion Arsenio
y Arsileo con algunos uezinos
suyos debaxo de un fresno muy
grande, que en vna plaçuela
estaua de frente de mi posada,
començo Arsenio a loar mucho el
tañer y cantar de su hijo Arsileo,
por dar occasion a que los que
con él estauan le rogassen que
embiasse por una harpa a casa, y
que alli tañesse, porque estaua
en parte que yo por fuerça auia
de gozar de la musica. Y como él
lo penso, assi le uino a sucçeder,
porque siendo de los presentes
importunado, embiaron por la
harpa y la musica se començo.
Quando yo oí a Arsileo y senti la
melodia con que tañia, la
soberana gracia con que cantaua,
luego estuue al cabo de lo que
podia ser: entendiendo que su
padre me queria dar musica, y
enamorarme con las gracias del
hijo. Y dixe entre mí: ¡Ay, Arsenio,
que no menos te engañas en
mandar a tu hijo que cante, para
que yo le oyga, que embiarme
carta escrita de su mano! A lo
menos si lo que dello te ha de
succeder, tú supiesses, bien
podrias amonestar de oy más a
todos los enamorados, que
ninguno fuesse osado de
enamorar a su dama con graçias
agenas: porque algunas uezes,
suele acontesçer enamorarse
más la dama del que tiene la
graçia, que del que se aprouecha
de ella, no siendo suya. A este
tiempo el mi Arsileo, con una
graçia nunca oyda, començó a
cantar estos uersos:

Soneto.

En este claro sol que


resplandesçe
en esta perfeçion[1250] sobre
natura,
en esa alma gentil, esa figura
que alegra nuestra edad, y la
enrriqueze
hay luz que ziega, rostro que
enmudeçe,
pequeña piedad, gran
hermosura,
palabras blandas, condiçion
muy dura,
mirar que alegra y vista que
entristeçe.
Por eso estoy, señora,
retirado,
por eso temo ver lo que
deseo,
por eso paso el tiempo en
contemplarte.
Estraño caso, efecto no
pensado,
que vea el maior bien quando
te veo,
y tema el mayor mal si vo a
mirarte.

Despues que huuo cantado el


soneto que os he dicho, comenzó
a cantar esta cançion, con graçia
tan estremada, que a todos los
que lo oian, tenia suspensos, y a
la triste de mí más presa de sus
amores que nunca nadie lo
estuvo.

Alçé los ojos por veros,


baxelos despues que os vi,
porque no ay passar de alli,
ni otro bien sino quereros.
¿Que más gloria que
miraros,
si os entiende el que os miró?
Porque nadie os entendió
que canse de contemplaros.
Y aunque no pueda
entenderos,
como yo no os entendi,
estará fuera de sí,
quando no muera por veros.
Si mi pluma otras loaua
ensayose en lo menor,
pues todas son borrador
de lo que en vos trasladaua.
Y si antes de quereros,
por otra alguna escreui,
creed que no es porque la ui,
mas porque esperaua ueros.
Mostrose en vos tan subtil
naturaleza y tan diestra,
que una sola façion vuestra
hará hermosas çien mil.
La que llega a pareceros
en lo menos que en vos vi,
ni puede pasar de alli
ni el que os mira sin quereros.
Quien ve qual os hizo Dios,
y uee otra mui hermosa,
parece que vee una cosa,
que en algo quiso ser vos.
Mas si os vee como ha de
veros
y como señora os vi,
no hay comparaçion alli,
ni gloria, sino quereros.

No fue solo esto lo que Arsileo


aquella noche al son de su harpa
cantó. Asi como Orfeo al tiempo
que fue en demanda de su ninfa
Euridice, con el suabe canto
enterneçia las furias infernales,
suspendiendo por gran espacio la
pena de los dañados[1251]: asi el
mal logrado mançebo Arsileo,
suspendia, y ablandaua, no
solamente los coraçones de los
que presentes estauan, mas aun
a la desdichada Belisa, que desde
una açotea alta de mi posada le
estaua con grande atencion[1252]
oyendo. Y assi agradaua al çielo,
estrellas y a la clara luna, que
entonçes en su uigor y fuerça
estaua, que en qualquiera parte
que yo entonçes ponia los ojos,
pareçe que me amonestaua que
le quisiesse más que a mi uida.
Mas no era menester
amonestarmelo nadie, porque si
yo entonçes de todo el mundo
fuera señora me parescia muy
poco para ser suya. Y desde alli,
propuse de tenelle encubierta
esta uoluntad lo menos que yo
pudiesse. Toda aquella noche
estuue pensando el modo que
ternia en descubrille mi mal, de
suerte que la uerguença no
reçibiesse daño, aunque quando
este no hallara, no me estoruara
el de la muerte. Y como quando
ella ha de uenir, las occasiones
tengan tan gran cuydado de quitar
los medios que podrian impedilla,
el otro dia adelante, con otras
donzellas mis uezinas me fue
forçado yr a un bosque espesso,
en medio del qual auia una clara
fuente, adonde las mas de las
siestas lleuauamos las uacas,
assi porque alli pasciessen, como
para que uenida la sabrosa y
fresca tarde cogiessemos la leche
de aquel dia siguiente, con que
las mantecas, natas y quesos se
auian de hazer. Pues estando yo
y mis compañeras assentadas en
torno de la fuente, y nuestras
vacas echadas a la sombra de los
vmbrosos y siluestres arboles de
aquel soto, lamiendo los
pequeñuelos bezerrillos, que
juntos a ellas estauan tendidos,
una de aquellas amigas mias
(bien descuydada del amor que
entonçes a mí me hazia la guerra)
me importunó, so pena de jamás
ser hecha cosa de que yo
gustasse, que tuuiese por bien de
entretener el tiempo cantando vna
cançion. Poco me valieron
escusas, ni dezilles que los
tiempos y ocasiones no eran
todos vnos, para que dexasse de
hazer lo que con tan grande
instançia me rogauan, y al son de
vna çampoña, que la vna dellas
començó a tañer, yo triste
començe a cantar estos versos:

Passaua amor su arco


desarmado
los ojos baxos, blando y muy
modesto,
dexauame ya atras muy
descuydado.
Quán poco espaçio pude
gozar esto;
fortuna de embidiosa dixo
luego:
teneos amor, ¿porque passays
tan presto?
Boluió de presto a mi aquel
niño çiego,
muy enojado en verse
reprendido:
que no ay reprehension, do
está su fuego.
Estaua çiego amor, mas
bien me vido:
tan çiego le vea yo, que a
nadie vea,
que ansi çegó mi alma y mi
sentido.
Vengada me vea yo de
quien dessea
a todos tanto mal que no
consiente
vn solo coraçon que libre sea.
El arco armó el traydor muy
breuemente,
no me tiró con xara
enerbolada,
que luego puso en él su flecha
ardiente.
Tomome la fortuna
desarmada,
que nunca suele amor hazer
su hecho,
sino en la más essenta y
descuydada.
Rompió con su saeta un
duro pecho,
rompió una libertad jamás
subiecta,
quedé tendida, y él muy
satisfecho.
¡Ay uida libre, sola, y muy
quieta!
¡Ay prado visto con tan libres
ojos!
¡Mal aya amor, su arco y su
saeta!
Seguid amor, seguilde sus
antojos,
venid de gran descuido a vn
gran cuydado,
passad de un gran descanso,
a mil enojos.
Vereys quál queda un
coraçon cuytado:
que no ha mucho que estuuo
sin sospecha
de ser de un tal tyrano
sojuzgado.
Ay alma mia en lagrimas
desecha,
sabed suffrir, pues que mirar
supistes:
mas si fortuna quiso, ¿qué
aprouecha?
Ay tristes ojos, si el llamaros
tristes
no offende en cosa alguna el
que mirastes,
¿do está mi libertad, do la
pusistes?
Ay prados, bosques, seluas
que criastes
tan libre coraçon como era el
mio,
¿porqué tan grande[1253] mal
no le estoruastes?
¡O apresurado arroyo, y
claro rio,
adonde beuer suele mi
ganado
inuierno, primauera, otoño,
estio!
¿Porqué me has puesto, di,
a tan mal recado,
pues solo en ti ponia mis
amores,
y en este ualle ameno y uerde
prado?
Aqui burlaua yo de mil
pastores,
que burlarán de mi, quando
supieren,
que a esperimentar comienço
sus dolores.
No son males de amor los
que me hieren,
que a ser de solo amor,
passallos hia,
como otros mil que en fin de
amores mueren.
Fortuna es quien me aflige y
me desuia
los medios, los caminos y
ocasiones,
para poder mostrar la pena
mia.
¿Cómo podra, quien causa
mis passiones,
si no las sabe dar remedio a

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