Checkpoint 1 Feedback

Lesson
Big Question: What are my strengths and targets for this term?

Do now:
On your papers, answer these questions:
1) What did you find the easiest about the test?
2) What did you find the most tricky?
 Let’s take a look at the paper and mark scheme together…
You will need…
● Your question paper
● The insert (extract from the text)
● A blue pen
● Your thinking caps!

What we will do…

● Re-read the extract “The Long Rain”
● Go through the question paper and mark scheme so that you can see where you got
marks, and what areas you need to improve.
● On questions where you got low or no marks, you will write a target of what you
need to do to improve next time.
● You will fill in a Google Form putting in your marks to help us teachers clearly see
what you need help with
The Long Rain (From “The Illustrated Man” by Ray Bradbury)

THE rain continued. It was a hard rain, a perpetual rain, a sweating and steaming rain; it was a mizzle, a downpour, a
fountain, a whipping at the eyes, an undertow at the ankles; it was a rain to drown all rains and the memory of rains. It came by
the pound and the ton, it hacked at the jungle and cut the trees like scissors and shaved the grass and tunnelled the soil and
moulted the bushes. It shrank men’s hands into the hands of wrinkled apes; it rained a solid glassy rain, and it never stopped.
(lines 1-6)

“How much farther, Lieutenant?”

“I don’t know. A mile, ten miles, a thousand.”
“Aren’t you sure?”
“How can I be sure?”
“I don’t like this rain. If we only knew how far it is to the Sun Dome, I’d feel better.”
“Another hour or two from here.”
“You really think so, Lieutenant?”
“Of course.”
“Or are you lying to keep us happy?”
“I’m lying to keep you happy. Shut up!” (lines 7-16)
 The two men sat together in the rain. Behind them sat two other men who were wet and tired and slumped like clay that
was melting.
The lieutenant looked up. He had a face that once had been brown and now the rain had washed it pale, and the rain had
washed the colour from his eyes and they were white, as were his teeth, and as was his hair. He was all white. Even his uniform
was beginning to turn white, and perhaps a little green with fungus.

The lieutenant felt the rain on his cheeks. “How many million years since the rain stopped raining here on Venus?”
“Don’t be crazy,” said one of the two other men. “It never stops raining on Venus. It just goes on and on. I’ve lived here for
ten years and I never saw a minute, or even a second, when it wasn’t pouring.”
“It’s like living under water,” said the lieutenant, and rose up, shrugging his guns into place. “Well, we’d better get going.
We’ll find that Sun Dome yet.”
“Or we won’t find it,” said the cynic.
“It’s an hour or so.
“Now you’re lying to me, Lieutenant.”
“No, now I’m lying to myself. This is one of those times when you’ve got to lie. I can’t take much more of this.” (lines

They walked down the jungle trail, now and then looking at their compasses. There was no direction anywhere, only what
the compass said. There was a grey sky and rain falling and jungle and a path, and, far back behind them somewhere, a rocket
in which they had ridden and fallen. A rocket in which lay two of their friends, dead and dripping rain.
They walked in single file, not speaking. They came to a river which lay wide and flat and brown, flowing down to the great
Single Sea. The surface of it was stippled in a billion places by the rain.
Before we begin, just remember…
This was a CHALLENGE. It’s the first one you have done this year,
and you will keep on getting better and better! You should all be
proud of yourselves for doing the checkpoint, and look forward to
making even more progress next time.

That’s why we’re doing this now- so you can see the great stuff you’ve
done, and what you’ll do differently next time!
Reading
The following slides are for the
reading section of the exam.

Please read the markscheme and

the suggested WWW and
Targets.

Make a note of any targets that

you could work on.
WWW:
● I understand synonyms
● I understand different
sentence types

Target:
● I will use a thesaurus or
word hippo to practise
synonyms

● I will learn the acronyms

FANBOYS and
ISAWAWUBUB to help me
identify sentence types.

● I will read the question

carefully

● I will use quotations to

support my answer
 WWW:
● I understand
how and why
semicolons
are used

● I can link the

punctuation to
the meaning
of the text
and explain it

● I understand
different
sentence
types
Target: ● I am specific
● I will be specific when I am explaining why a piece of punctuation has in my
been used explanations
● I will link the punctuation to what has been said in the text
WWW:
● I can identify where metaphor has been used
● I can give a simple explanation why it has been used
● I can give a specific explanation why metaphor has been used
● I can give detail about the effect of language

Target:
● I will be specific when I am explaining the effect of language
● I will identify language techniques that have been used
● I will give more than one reason why language has been used
● I will explain my point without repeating what has been said in the quotation
 Target:
● When asked to identify a structural feature, I will
WWW:
ask myself:
● I understand how dialogue is
○ Is is speech / dialogue?
structured
○ What narrative voice is it written in?
● I understand what a question about
○ How large or small are the paragraphs?
structure is asking me
○ Are there any headings or subheadings?
● I can find synonyms for words within
○ What are the paragraph / sentence begins
the text
like?
○ How have connectives been used?
● I will look carefully at the words in the text to
identify synonyms
 WWW:
● I can identify
where simile has
been used
● I can give a simple
explanation why it
has been used
● I can give a
specific
explanation why a
simile has been
used
● I can give detail
about the effect of
language

Target:
● I will be specific when I am explaining the effect of language
● I will identify language techniques that have been used
● I will give more than one reason why language has been used
● I will explain my point without repeating what has been said in the quotation
 WWW:
● I can give a specific
reason about why
language is effective
● I can look at the
amount of marks
needed and work out
that is how many
points I need to make
● I can give multiple
specific reasons about
why the language used
is effective

Target:
● I will be specific when I am explaining the effect of language
● I will identify language techniques that have been used
● I will give more than one reason why language has been used
● I will explain my point without repeating what has been said in the quotation
 WWW:
● I can make a clear
point about a text
● I can use evidence /
quotations to backup
my point
● My quotation links to
the point that I have
made.
● I understand what a
phrase is
● I can explain things in
my own words

Target:
● I need to be clear and specific when making a point about a text
● I need to practise putting things in my own words
● I need to read the question carefully and locate information from the correct part of the text
 WWW:
● I can make a clear
point about a text
● I can use evidence /
quotations to backup
my point
● My quotation links to
the point that I have
made.
● I understand what a
phrase is
● I can explain things in
my own words

Target:
● I need to be clear and specific when making a point about a text
● I need to practise putting things in my own words
● I need to read the question carefully and locate information from the correct part of the text
 WWW:
● I can use
evidence from
the text to
support a point
● I can find
information from
the whole of the
text
● I can summarise
key points in the
text
● I understand key
themes in a text

Target:
● I need to be clear and specific when making a point about a text
● I need to practise putting things in my own words
●
 Writing
Before we look at the markscheme please read your writing out loud and then do the
following:

1. Circle the first word of every sentence

2. Put a triangle around each piece of punctuation used

3. Count the number of words in each sentence

4. Put a box around each connective used

What do you notice about your writing when you do this?

 Writing
The writing markscheme is split into 6 areas:

Planning [4 marks]
Creation of text (WC) [4 marks]
Vocabulary and language (WV) [2 marks]
Structure of Texts (WS) [3 marks]
Grammar and Punctuation (WG) [4 marks]
Word Structure Spelling (WW) [3 marks]

We will look at what you need to do in each area to get the highest marks.
Like the reading, note down targets that can help you improve in this area
 Planning marks [4 marks]

1 mark for a very basic plan with around 5 points

1 mark for some vocabulary choices included on plan
1 mark for indication of techniques that will be used in the description
1 mark for planning of structure (eg. numbered points to indicate paragraphs)

WWW:
● I have included at least 5 points on my plan
● I have included some vocabulary choices included on plan
● I have included language techniques in my plan
● I have indicated the order in which I will talk about these points

Target:
● Include at least 5 points on my plan
● Include some vocabulary choices
● Include language techniques in my plan
● Indicate the order in which I will talk about these points
Creation of text (WC) [4 marks]
4 marks: Content is wholly relevant and conveyed in a consistent style throughout which
effectively sustains the reader’s interest..
Descriptive features are successfully manipulated for effect throughout.
3 marks:Content is relevant with imaginative detail and in a generally appropriate and
consistent style, which mostly sustains the reader’s interest.
Descriptive features are occasionally manipulated for effect.
2 Marks: Content is mostly relevant using literary techniques appropriate descriptive writing.
1 mark: General features of descriptive writing may be present.

WWW:
● I have written in the correct style (descriptive)
● I have used some descriptive techniques (5 senses, metaphor, simile, alliteration, assonance, personification, etc)
● My writing is sometimes interesting to read
● My writing contains lots of descriptive features and is interesting throughout

Target:
● Write in the correct style
● Include descriptive techniques
Vocabulary and language (WV) [2 marks]
2 marks: Conscious and adventurous language choices are made appropriate to the genre. These are mostly successful.
1 mark: some interesting word choices are included

WWW: Target:
● I use interesting words! ● Use interesting words!
● I use paragraphs ● Use paragraphs
● I include connectives within and between ● Include connectives within and between paragraphs
paragraphs ● Make sure my ideas are in order
● I Make sure my ideas are in order

Structure of Texts (WS) [3 marks]

3 marks: The overall response is well-organised.
Events are logically sequenced throughout the text with a successful opening and closing. Clear, well-organised
paragraphs are used successfully to structure the description A range of sentence openings and connectives are used
appropriately to clarify or emphasise descriptive detail.
2 marks:The text is generally well- organised and attempts to use a range of organisational features.Events are
logically sequenced though there may be some inconsistencies. Paragraphs are used though not always consistently
or appropriately. A range of connectives are used appropriately.
1 mark: Some attempt to organise the overall text. Basic sequencing apparent.. Paragraphs / sections are evident with
related points grouped together. Movement between paragraphs or sections, may be disjointed with a limited range of
sentence openings and connective.
Grammar and Punctuation (WG) [4 marks]
4 marks: Grammar is mostly accurate throughout the text. e.g., • Use a range of sentence types, manipulated and/or adapted for
effect. • Formal and/or informal register is generally used appropriately according to context, purpose and audience. Punctuation is
mostly accurate: • Use a range of punctuation for effect.
3 marks: Grammatical structures are generally accurate throughout the text, e.g., • Use of some range of sentence types to support
the text type. • Some complex sentences may be attempted to create effect, such as using expanded verb phrases. • Some
awareness of formal and/or informal register according to context, purpose and audience. Some range of punctuation: • commas,
semi-colons, dashes and hyphens are used accurately to clarify meaning. • There may be evidence of comma splicing.
2 mark: Basic grammatical structures are generally correct, e.g., • subject and verb generally
agree. Past and present tense of verbs are generally consistent. • A mix of simple and some compound sentences used accurately.
Some complex sentences may be attempted to expand detail but not always successfully. • Formal and/or informal register may be
attempted but not consistently according to context, purpose and audience. Punctuation: • Demarcation of straightforward
sentences is usually correct. • Commas are used in lists and occasionally to mark clauses.
1 mark: evidence of very basic punctuation. Some sentences are demarcated accurately.

WWW: Target:
● Basic punctuation used ● Punctuate my work
● Tense is accurate and consistent ● Check that tense is accurate
● Range of sentence structures are used ● Use complex sentences
● Range of punctuation used accurately ● Include sentences of different lengths
● Range of punctuation used effectively ● Be more adventurous with punctuation
● Use punctuation for effect
Word Structure Spelling (WW) [3 marks]
3 marks: Spelling is nearly always correct throughout. (There may occasionally be phonetically plausible attempts at complex words.) Correct
spelling of complex polysyllabic words, e.g., intelligent, initiative, fundamentally, inferiority, paediatrician, accommodation.
2 marks: Spelling of common and less common words, including polysyllabic and compound words, is correct, e.g., accurate, present, evidence,
making, possible, search
1 mark: Spelling of common words is correct, e.g., their/there, friend, another, around, because, anything, something.

WWW: Target:
● Basic spelling is accurate ● Revise spelling rules for…
● Spelling of polysyllabic words is correct ● Learn the spellings for common homophones
● Spelling of compound words is correct
Recording your Marks
Please fill in the Google Form recording the mark that you got for each
question. This will help us to help you!