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Chastity Perkins Follow

Jun 24, 2018 · 11 min read

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Making Male Chastity Enforcement Real

A bit of advice to sub-males and more so female key holders that are curious
about long term chastity enforcement. How does one get there? Where do
you start? What works? What doesn’t?

1. “Self enforced chastity” loosely translated is a male locking themselves in

a chastity device. I’ve come to know this is far more common than you
would think. It’s especially common in committed relationships that are
“vanilla” and there’s a lot of fear about discussing this kink with the
significant other. How common? About 80% of the men that approach me
and ask me to enforce their chastity are in committed relationships. I
usually end up helping them and their female partner get together on this
in a productive way. The enforced chastity experience is completely
different when there is someone else that actually enforces it. Make no
mistake, when someone else is in control — actual control for long periods
of time as in weeks, months, years the dynamic quickly becomes very
different than role play or a sex game or even longer term self-enforced
chastity.

2. Obviously the best key holder is someone that you already have intimacy
with but for a lot of want-to-be chastity slaves that’s not going to work either
because that topic is untenable (good luck with that) or it’s more satisfying
to have someone that has no emotional or personal stake in their chastity
enforcement. The latter can be very exciting to some. I’ve only done this
with consent of the female significant other and a very explicit
understanding of how it’s going to go. This actually has worked for some
couples but never in secret. I’ve not had any experience with this for more
than four or five months so I cannot say where it will go or how it will
evolve. I think the pattern (of three cases) I’ve seen is where the female
partner’s mental make up needs some other authority figure to defer to. I’m
guessing/hoping that eventually there will not be that need in the future.
Things like enforcing the “rules” and taking the ability to say “yes and okay”
away have helped a lot in the three relationships that work that way. Under
no circumstances am I involved anything remotely sexual.

3. I have many thoughts on appropriate devices. I discovered through trial

and error, more error than not that the penis is amazingly flexible in a
flaccid state. So much so that actually enforcing chastity with a chastity
device is not easy. There are only two types that actually will work and be
impossible to remove without the consent of the key holder. The first is one
with a urethral tube made from steel, not a catheter, just a tube that extends
to and better yet a bit behind the ring when assembled. Without it there is
no device that cannot be easily removed even if it’s really tight. Sure if you
get it tight enough (properly fitted) it may be very difficult/painful to
remove the locked assembly from the male’s shaft and testicles but even
those are very flexible. Even in that case the shaft and head of the penis can
easily be removed while leaving the rest of the chastity device hanging there
around the scrotum, once that happens removing it completely is not a hard
thing. The other type of device that works is one that locks and is kept in
place with one or more piercings. I would not advise starting with this,
you’ll definitely end up choosing a different device, different size, different
design, very quickly that may even require differing piercings.

4. Long term chastity enforcement takes a while to ease into. I have some
recommendations in another essay here on Medium. The bottom line is it
will take some time getting the right sized device. Not only is there trial and
error associated with this but the easing into it will stop the male’s penis
from forever fighting the device with partial erections almost constantly. It
needs to settle in over weeks to be “normal”. Once this happens the penis
will also seem to shrink quite a bit. Does it really shrink? Yes and no,
without erections constantly stretching it out it will be much smaller over
the course of a few weeks or a month. Consider it to be the REAL size of a
completely flaccid penis. After that happens and after there’s not constant
semi erections you can really start to reduce the size of the device A LOT for
longer and longer periods to settle into the “right size”. The right size is the
one that will actually enforce zero erection and maintain a completely
flaccid penis. Sure there may be a bit of a chubby but none of that will cause
growth inside the device at all. It will happen behind the device but not to
the extent that it did with all those devices and rings that were way too big.
It will really keep the penis quite small and there will be no room to push it
very far from the body. It’s especially important that you go with a ring size
that will allow almost no play or pushing forward from the slack in the
scrotum. Easing into this will also provide a lot of non-sexual context for
inspecting, replacing, and fitting devices. This is part of easing into it as
well.

5. Okay, if you’ve done this correctly and by definition you have you’ve now
achieved real, enforced, no escape (without industrial tools and possible
injury), male chastity. You’ve now locked up a penis and over the course of
that easing in period it’s not just some sex-game being played for a moment,
an hour, a few hours, or a day. Now what? The short answer is nothing,
there’s no big deal on that first day. In fact the male really has no need to
know that that was it, no more trials, tests, a few days on, a day off. The only
person that knows this particular installation and turn of the key is now as
long as you want it to be is the key holder. I’d suggest that you do not make a
big deal of it when you decide that “this is it”, don’t say anything. Play it the
exact same way you did last time before you decided the easing in, and
playing with different sizes, etc.

6. Time goes by. How long? It probably varies but somewhere after some
vague expectation that was set during the easing into chastity period the
male will eventually ask about it. It may be direct, it may be subtle, it may
be beating around the bush but it will happen. Prior to that there may have
been a lot of desire to touch, feel, lick, and generally please the key holder
depending on what expectation and rules you set while easing in but there
will be that moment where the question comes up — “how long”. You may
or may not have discussed rules, arrangements, schedules, etc. Forget those
except for the rules that the key holder wants. The key holder can make up
new rules. All those other things are about a sex game, long term male
chastity enforcement is about much much more than a sex game so don’t
turn it into one. The answer to how long is “there is no how long”, you get
chastity, that’s it. No schedule, no conditions. I usually have rules and
conditions about discussing “chastity” — typically no chastity discussions
unless I bring them up. What you do is up to you but there’s a big difference
between a sex game that involves a chastity device and regular, scheduled,
conditional, sex and chastity enforcement. One is not the other and I would
not confuse the two. I would hope that all of that would be clear before
going down this road. In many cases it was clear to the key holder and the
male but no matter how clear the male will probably still look at it as a sex
game for some time. This is early on at this point, probably under 2 months.
As a key holder turning it into a sex game is not recommended and
ultimately my guess as to why other females have me be the key holder (see
above).

7. What now? Well for a period of time there’s a 99.99% chance that the
locked up male will do just about anything to please you. Good but do not
make any sort of “reward” about release. Let him know when you are
pleased and make that a good thing in and of itself. If you want to make
some sort of sexual activity part of the reward that’s fine too as long as it
suits you — the key holder. There’s a long but variable amount of time that
the locked up male will absolutely love what once was foreplay as a reward,
now it’s not foreplay. Make sure he knows that this is a reward and a
privilege , not an entitlement. In fact if you are not please never ever go
along with any sort of sexual reward. Be explicit about it and put a
timeframe or condition on it. I am serious. If hubby/boyfriend loves licking
you and you allow that a couple times a week, take it away for a while. How
long… make it count vs what you are used to. Never use any part of a sexual
activity no matter what it is, even if it’s actually a punishment in your mind,
or humiliating to him as a punishment to signal you are displeased. NEVER
NEVER EVER.

8. What about punishments? Don’t get too complicated unless you want to.
Take privileges away if you are not pleased for any reason. TV, computer,
pants, underwear… as in no pants. Seriously, on a Saturday, take them away.
Have him answer the door and have to hide behind it. Trust me it will be a
punishment. Go out shopping and leave him home with no pants, or better
yet drive him around and leave him in the car (weather permitting). Trust
me he will be absolutely humiliated and self-conscious about his tiny
useless penis. How about a very long time-out in the basement or garage?
Again go out shopping or whatever. If you want to make it real make sure he
is restrained, nothing dangerous but some cuffs/shackles will do the trick or
a steel collar. Whoh, now that’s kinky. Get a big dog cage that doesn’t come
apart from the inside. Make him do chores he is normally not responsible
for. Spank him, for real, not the playful sexy kind. No need to draw blood it
can be very unpleasant without being dangerous. Be creative. If you go so
far as any of this kind of punishment — not just taking away any non-
erection centric sexual activity for a time feel free to reward him when it’s
over if you feel it’s appropriate. Don’t want to go full bore with the reward?
Even better, even if you think it’s a punishment, if it’s sexual at all treat it as
a reward. If you are pleased with his behavior without the pants, or on time-
out, or after taking the TV away, give him the reward of licking your shoes
while you are dressed in something sexy? Go farther… give him the reward
of kissing or licking your ass. Try something that’s good with you… turn that
into a reward. Give it to him in place of the usual fore-play.

9. At some point there will be frustration that sets in on the male’s part. He
may or may not disobey you but you’ll know. What he enjoyed immensely ,
even for a long time, rewards that to him were “fore-play” will not pan out
into erection, sex, and release. He may even refuse a reward thinking he’s
punishing you. Don’t freak out key holder. If he doesn’t want a reward then
don’t offer it again, don’t threaten him, be cool. Don’t bring up the reward
again. What if he is really pissing you off and displeasing you and acting like
a jerk? Try a punishment. What if he refuses? Be cool, be okay. Give him the
silent treatment after you tell him how displeased you are. Trust me in a
day, or two he’ll be begging to get that reward you offered him a day or two
before. He’ll probably even say he’s sorry, he may have even started
behaving better than ever. Be cool, don’t just give it to him now. Did he
refuse a punishment you tried? Carry it out now, let him know you are still
displeased. Whatever reward you offered, downgrade it significantly with
something a lot less. Give him a new replacement reward… was it licking
you? Allow him to sniff your panties for the next week as a reward instead.
When he really is pleasing you with his behavior then give him the reward
he really wants and make a big deal of it. Tell him if he doesn’t like it any
more you’ll be glad to take it away. This recalcitrant behavior will happen,
when? Depends, it may happen more than once, in fact expect it to. It will
go away fairly quickly, inside a week at most. Make him remember how
unpleasant it was, up the ante on a punishment when he wants to make
amends.

10. Here’s the big news and what both males as well as key holding females
really want to know. Is it possible to have an orgasm and ejaculate while in
chastity? The short answer is YES. This is the place you want to get to and
when you do things will change in a large way. Even if this wasn’t a giant
long-running sex game to you as a key holder you can be assured in the
male’s mind it was for him. Now things are way different, there’s something
else to chase that’s not an erection and not some “unlocked penis” sex,
masterbation, whatever. There’s a sort-of-orgasm to chase for the male, a
much different orgasm that’s not at all under his control in any way. Unlike
erections and orgasms associated with erections, these are not under any
direct cause-effect relationship. Especially the first one that’s likely to
happen — the unexpected one that will probably happen while you are
granting him the privilege of some sort of sexual contact while locked in
chastity. Is it the same as an orgasm he’s used to? Absolutely not, will he
forget all about those? Absolutely not but he’ll relish and desire them all the
same. No matter if you decide to grant erections and orgasms during
erections to your male sub never ever do it before you get to this point. I’d
recommend having him chase this new kind instead. This is the beginning
of an entirely new relationship dynamic that’s rewarding for you as well as
the male in chastity. Okay, now the other-other question? What about
pegging? Hmmmm, well that’s up to you as the key holder but it’s a lot of
work. If you at all want to do this make sure you do not make this an every
day thing for a lot of reasons. What about the male does he get a say?? Only
if you want him to have a say. If you want to explore this do not make it a
punishment, make it a reward. I’ll follow up on a practical piece on this. If
for some reason you want to explore pegging but your male doesn’t want to
(very unlikely in my experience) you don’t have to force him, in fact the
mere suggestion of it or buying a strap-on and hanging it in the
bedroom/bathroom will most likely cause him to eventually ask for it even if
he pretends to protest. He may actually want to but “be forced to”, similar to
the situation where I am a key holder for other females, he wants “no
choice”. In that case make it easy for him, take away his other privileges
until he at least tries it.

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