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February 2024

Taking
Make A Difference
DAAJI

Care
Are We Taking
Care of Each
Other?
LAURA OTIS

Human Flourishing
VASCO GASPAR

Thoughts About
Painting India
KATHLEEN
SCARBORO

ER OF
OW
THE P

LO
VE
SA

ER

RA
BUBB

www.heartfulnessmagazine.com
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you at Harvard”, the making basis the Adizes Techniques idea. Teachers almost
learning in this course with a touch of Heartfulness, with no need to be careful not to
justifies it one hundred influence from skippers but with the interfere. It opens up a
percent! guided push in the right direction was universe of learning.
the WOW for me.

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CREATIVE TEAM

SUBSCRIBE TO Editorial Team — Elizabeth Denley, Mamata


Subramanyam, Vanessa Patel, Kashish Kalwani,

Heartfulness Christine Prisland, Pankhi Chauhan


Design, Art & Photography — Uma Maheswari G, Are We Taking
Magazine
Megha Chawra, Lakshmi Gaddam, Anagha Kulkarni,
Jasmee Mudgal, Kathleen Scarboro, Ananya Patel, AI
Writers — Ichak Adizes, Sara Bubber, Daaji, Snehal
Deshpande, Vasco Gaspar, Neeraja Kairam, Stanislas
Care of One
Lajugie, Ananya Patel, Sriram Raghavendran, Kathleen
Scarboro, Shanthi Venkat
Interviewees — Laura Otis Another?
Support Team — Balaji Iyer, Subash Kannan, Karthik
Natarajan, Ashraful Nobi, Jayakumar Parthasarathy,
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ISSN 2455-7684 Dear readers,


CONTRIBUTIONS
contributions@heartfulnessmagazine.com It’s a pity that it often takes difficult or tragic circumstances, even global calamities like the ones we are
ADVERTISING currently experiencing, to ask whether we are really taking care of one another. Only then do we reflect on
advertising@heartfulnessmagazine.com our complicity in letting a loved one, a group of people, the environment, or the whole planet travel so far
SUBSCRIPTIONS down a lonely road, wishing we could have done more.
subscriptions@heartfulnessmagazine.com
www.heartfulnessmagazine.com/subscriptions In the February edition of Heartfulness Magazine, we continue our journey of balancing awareness with
Available in print and digital versions EDITOR — Neeraj Kumar compassionate action, to find solutions for a more peaceful and united world. Our contributors share
PRINTED BY — Sunil Kumar stories of empathy and kindness, life transitions, hard lessons, and experiences of community that have
RK PRINT HOUSE, H.No.11-6-759, encouraged them to reflect on what caring for others looks like.
Order copies online: single, 12-month
3rd Floor, Anand Complex, Lakdikapul,
subscription and 24-month subscription: Hyderabad, Telangana, 500004, India. This month, Daaji invites us to make a difference, and shows us how awareness and higher levels of
subscriptions@ PUBLISHER — Sunil Kumar representing consciousness are connected. Vasco Gaspar encourages loving self-acceptance through healing body-mind
Heartfulness Education Trust exercises. Laura Otis reflects on the ethics of care, and Neeraja Kairam on grief and support. Shanthi
heartfulnessmagazine.com 13-110, Kanha Shanti Vanam,
Venkat reminds us to take better care of ourselves in order to age gracefully, and Ichak Adizes shares a
Kanha Village, Nandigama Mandal,
Ranga Reddy District, Telangana, 509325, India. surprising solution for work-life balance. Stanislas Lajugie explores sleep health, Sriram Raghavendran
Printed copies are also available where attention goes, and Snehal Deshpande work-life balance. Ananya Patel looks at environmental
at selected stores, airports and Copyright © 2024 Heartfulness Education Trust.
issues through art, Kathleen Scarboro exhibits her stunning paintings of India, and Sara Bubber tells us a
newsstands, and at Heartfulness All rights reserved.
story about love.
centers and ashrams.
We encourage you to reach out to us with your own thoughts on taking care of one another at
contributions@heartfulnessmagazine.com.
heartfulnessmagazine.com/subscribe
Happy reading,
The editors

H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024


inside
self-care workplace environment
Make a Difference The Lone Ranger The Earth We Share
Daaji Ichak Adizes Ananya Patel
12 40 62

Practices for Human How Is Your Sleep Health?


Flourishing
Vasco Gaspar
Stanislas Lajugie
creativity
42
16
Striking a Balance Thoughts on Painting India
Where Attention Goes, Snehal Deshpande Kathleen Scarboro
Energy Flows
47 70
Sriram Raghavendran
24
relationships children
inspiration
Transforming Grief The Power of Love
Neeraja Kairam Sara Bubber
The Nature of Higher
Consciousness
52 78
Daaji Aging Gracefully
28 Shanthi Venkat

Are We Taking Care of Each


56
Other?
Interview with Laura Otis
32

6 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 7


contributors

DAAJI ICHAK ADIZES KATHLEEN SCARBORO LAURA OTIS SRIRAM RAGAVENDRAN NEERAJA KAIRAM

Daaji is the Heartfulness Dr. Adizes is a leading A commission from The Public Dr. Otis is Professor of English Sriram is a Heartfulness Neeraja has been a board-
Guide. He is an innovator and management expert. He has Art Workshop of Chicago was at Emory University. Her practitioner and trainer working certified pediatrician and
researcher, equally at home in the received 21 honorary doctorates the beginning of a lifelong career research has been supported in the tech sector. He enjoys specialist in pediatric emergency
fields of spirituality, science, and and is the author of 27 books in art for Kathleen. Her series by MacArthur, Guggenheim, reflecting on his small, day-to- medicine for the past 25 years.
the evolution of consciousness. that have been translated into 36 of Reunion Island paintings Fulbright, and Humboldt day experiences to gain a deeper She currently resides in New
He has taken our understanding languages. He is recognized as were exhibited in the main hall Fellowships. She is the author insight into the principles of life. Jersey, USA, with her three
of human potential to a new one of the top 30 thought leaders of the Museum of Mankind, of non-fiction and fiction books, children and manages a general
level. of America. Paris, and “Indian Women: including Banned Emotions, pediatric practice. She enjoys
Grace and Resilience” was Rethinking Thought, and The reading, tennis, and travel in her
exhibited in the Town Hall of the Memory Hive. spare time.
16th Arrondissement in Paris,
December 2023.

SARA BUBBER ANANYA PATEL STANISLAS LAJUGIE SHANTHI VENKAT SNEHAL DESHPANDE VASCO GASPAR

Sara is a storyteller, Montessori Ananya is a designer and Stanislas is a civil servant of Shanthi Venkat is a Heartfulness Dr. Snehal is a developmental Vasco is a Human Flourishing
consultant, and a children’s book illustrator who enjoys finding the Foreign Affairs Ministry of Meditation trainer, a certified therapist who owns and leads Facilitator, inspiring change in
author. She is also a naturalist, dynamic ways to tell stories. France. He has worked in many Tai Chi instructor, and a retired SNEH, an institution dedicated organizations worldwide for a more
doing her doctoral work in eco- She works on projects with countries and enjoys making physical therapist based in the to improving the quality of life human and compassionate world.
consciousness in childhood. She social impact, and runs a youth meditation fashionable wherever United States. She balances of children and their families. Trained directly by some of the world’s
has been practicing Heartfulness collective bringing innovative he goes. He has developed her love of the sciences and She is passionate about spiritual greatest specialists in the fields of
for eight years and is a certified design approaches to climate a course on the science of healthcare with her creative well-being and actively drives the Mindfulness, Emotional Intelligence,
trainer. action and gender equality. meditation for universities and passion for cooking, baking, and Heartfulness CME initiative for neuroscience, and Heartfulness, his
corporates. gardening. healthcare professionals across dream is to co-create the future by
India. merging these practices in the service of
a greater good: Human Flourishing.

8 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 9


self-care
Everyone can be great, because
everyone can serve.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.


YES, YOU CAN DO IT!

S E LF-CARE

Make a Difference: The principle of seva (Sanskrit picks up the ball and places it in

Volunteer and Serve


for selfless service) has endured his hands. Simple!
forever. Seva in its subtle
essence is not confined to Volunteering and service
external actions; it is a state directly feed our feelings
of being, a way of life that of self-worth: they combat
DAAJI invites you to spend some time doing things for others. Whether it is volunteering, embodies love in action, with loneliness, bring us out of our
serving others, or cleaning up your local community environment, every small act helps! no expectation of reward or isolation, open us up to new
Daaji also shares a simple night-time ritual that we can all do to make a difference. recognition. It is an attitude experiences, improve our self-
that eventually becomes our confidence, and bring a sense
nature. Selfless service and of purpose and self-esteem, so
volunteering on an individual we feel valued, which in turn
“I devote a portion of my time to helping others. level are transformative; they protects us from stress and
It is good for my own health.” contribute to our personal depression.
health and spiritual growth, as
—Louise Hay well as to collective upliftment. What would you like to
do?
An experiment done

D
ear friends, with children aged 3 to 4 It is a question with a multitude
demonstrates that helping of answers. Our lifestyles and
Many people, both without any personal gain is responsibilities determine how
young and old, tell me how inherent in the human psyche. much any of us can do, so it
they are feeling helpless and An adult picks up a ball from may be something very simple.
hopeless with the constant the floor then drops it. Making For those with more time and
news of disasters, wars, and a pretence of sadness, he picks energy, there are many roles
the environmental impacts of it up again and drops it again. in larger organizations that
human behavior on our beloved This pretense continues a few help the less fortunate and the
Earth. They are concerned and more times, until one of the environment.
uncertain about the future. And, children walks up to the adult,
indeed, the news is disturbing.

But the news doesn’t tell us


everything. What about the Selfless service and volunteering on an
stories of the many individuals,
groups, and organizations individual level are transformative; they
around the world selflessly
working to aid others less contribute to our personal health and
fortunate, cleaning up the
environment, planting trees,
spiritual growth, as well as to
and feeding others, bringing collective upliftment.
hope with acts of kindness,
compassion, and love?

12 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 13


SEL F -CARE S E LF-CARE

When we take one


step at a time,
doing one positive
thing each day, we
will collectively
bring joy, care, and
hope to others
through kind and
selfless acts.

It may be as simple as visiting bring joy creates a remarkable May this entire Earth be
an elderly person who is lonely, vibration for change. I invite you engulfed with peace and with
volunteering at an animal rescue to join our global movement by love.
center or homeless shelter, praying with thousands of others
working in a food bank, creating a around the world at 9 p.m. local When we take one step at a time,
vegetable garden in waste ground time for fifteen minutes. It creates doing one positive thing each day,
for others, reducing your use of a beautiful resonance in your we will collectively bring joy, care,
plastics, cleaning up litter, doing heart, a softness, and a feeling of and hope to others through kind
small acts of kindness, or teaching connectedness that expands to all. and selfless acts. Every gesture,
others to relax and meditate. There no matter how modest, will
are so many ways. Everyone is being filled with contribute to the collective welfare
love and devotion and real of humanity and our dear Mother
Where do you see a need that faith is growing stronger in Earth. We will not only uplift
resonates in your heart? them. others; we will also experience
profound personal growth and
The 9 p.m. prayer for Truth, righteousness, and faith fulfillment.
humanity are being established in the
world. All the best,
Another subtle and potent way of Daaji
serving others is through prayer. All kinds of distractions faced
A prayer that radiates from a by our country and our planet
sincere heart with a genuine are going away.
desire to alleviate suffering and

14 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 15


S E LF-CARE

At some point during this


quest, I started to see and sense
connections between the different
fields, and how they could be

Practices
brought together to allow us to
flourish into our potential. That

L
ike my Portuguese ancestors led to the design and craft of
who explored the world experiences, retreats, and programs
in search of goods, during we’ve delivered to hundreds of
the last decades I’ve also been people worldwide in the past

for Human
exploring different tools, years. We call it “awareness-based
methodologies, and approaches human flourishing” since there
that contribute to “human is the underlying notion that, by
flourishing”—the blossoming increasing our awareness about
of the human spirit, and full different aspects of ourselves, we
realization of our potential for can also become more conscious

Flourishing
goodness and compassion, as of our innate basic wisdom, our
well as the understanding of the underlying sanity, and, from a
interconnectedness we share with space of deeper consciousness,
each other and our environment. to be capable of acting in the
world in ways that are wiser, saner
These include awareness-based and more compassionate toward
practices like Mindfulness and ourselves, other people, and Life as
Presencing; trauma-informed a whole.
In a 2-part series, VASCO GASPAR will share methodologies like Polyvagal
different methodologies and approaches Theory, Internal Family Systems, In sharing these practices and
to human flourishing, to help us realize our and Compassionate Inquiry resources, I encourage you to be
potential for goodness and compassion, and (Gabor Mate’s methodology); the scientist on your journey of
understand the interconnectedness we share and heart-rooted approaches like spiritual experimentation. See how
with each other and the world. Giftivism and the timeless wisdom the practices resonate with you.
of Heartfulness, which is where I Take everything you find helpful
find my spiritual “home.” and leave the rest.

16 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 17


SEL F -CAR E

3
Integral awareness Gross body, the physical body Bring awareness to the Keep your
physical body. How is your
Let’s start with the notion that Subtle body, the mind physical body feeling at awareness rooted
we are composed and part of this moment? Is it relaxed, tense,
many different systems and sub- Causal body, the Self or soul agitated, anxious, tired? Is your in the heart, but
systems and that by increasing breath fast or slow? Deep or
our awareness, we can also Social body, community and shallow? Any particular tension in
expand it to include
increase our choices and capacity relationships the body? What happens if you let all people with
to integrate those same systems. go of even a fraction of it?
Beyond many others, here are five Big body, Life whom you are

4
systems or “bodies” I invite you to Now, turn to your inner
consider. We’re going to bring our world, your mind. Any connected.
awareness into each one: thoughts, images, voices,

8
or emotions you notice? What Use the last moments to The physical body
Here is an exercise that will allow is the “inner weather” like? See rest your awareness on
you to become aware of each of if you can witness these inner these different phenomena Zoom in on your physical body.
these bodies: movements without any judgment. happening simultaneously within There are many data points
What are they trying to tell you? the different bodies. There is you can pay attention to, but

1
Take a moment to become nothing to achieve. Simply sit with I’m inviting you to notice the

5
aware of the present moment Dive deeper into your heart. a wide-open awareness, an open general tone of your autonomic
and the different layers of Can you sense a timeless, heart, that includes everything and nervous system (ANS). The ANS
your experience. wise presence? What do you everyone. is responsible for many bodily
notice when you connect with that processes, with the goal of keeping

2 9
Notice how Life is flowing deeper and still space, with your Finish by asking, “What’s us alive and safe. It controls
through your different Self ? the wisest and most digestion, the breath, the beating
senses at this moment. compassionate thing I can heart, and many other things.

6
What do you notice about sounds, Keep your awareness rooted do now that can contribute to
smells, and sights? What tastes in the heart, but expand it the Greater Good?” Don’t think Most importantly, the ANS
do you notice in your mouth? to include all people with about the answer. Simply notice controls your energy levels and
What signals are you receiving whom you are connected. Family, any inner guidance that emerges emotions (energy in motion),
through your skin about touch, friends, colleagues, even strangers. in the form of thoughts, intuitions, according to its perception of
temperature, and humidity? Does anyone in particular come and body sensations. If nothing danger versus safety. 1 If it senses
to mind? Feel those connections, emerges, that’s fine. Maybe the that you are safe, your ANS
heart to heart. Who are you best action at this moment is no becomes regulated and you might
connected with? action at all. feel calm, relaxed, engaged,
Take a moment to connected, grounded, curious, and

7
Finally, expand your heart playful. You can think clearly and
become aware of connection to other beings, connect with others from a place
to the whole web of Life. of curiosity. If, however, the ANS
the present Can you sense that connection? senses danger, it might either
Can you feel the inter-beingness? activate a mobilization response,
moment and the Can you sense that you are part of known as the “fight or flight” or
different layers of a larger whole, a larger “being”? stress response, elevating the level

your experience.
Feb r uar y 2 024 19
SEL F -CAR E

3
of energy in your system, making Regulation, mobilization, The main message here is that if According to your Expanding to the Mind and
you feel hyper-alert, scared, under and immobilization you change your physiology and main tone, try one of the Community
pressure, irritated, anxious, or the tone of your ANS, you will following:
judgmental. It may also activate Why are these states important? change how you perceive and Now we’ll expand to the inner
an immobilization response by Because how you feel directly relate to the world. and outer worlds, specifically our
lowering your energy levels to impacts how you perceive the a If your system is mobilized, minds and our relationships with
a minimum to help you survive world and the narratives you tell How to do it? Many things impact close your right nostril and other people.
through “disappearance.” Known yourself about it. If you feel angry, the regulation of our ANS, such take some deep in-breaths If you are like most
as the “faint response,” this makes you may perceive the world as as the number of hours we sleep, from the left nostril, breathing Starting with your mind, take
you feel immobilized, without dangerous and others as a threat. the type of food we eat, the time out slowly through the mouth a moment to notice all the people, you’ll notice
energy, numb, hopeless, lost, or If you feel sad and numb, you may spent in nature, the importance (the out-breath should be different “inner movements” that
disconnected from yourself and perceive the world as meaningless of exercising our bodies, and so longer than the in-breath). Do might be present. If you are like
that your mind is
everything around you. and lose the capacity to connect on. But there is one that is very this about ten times, and when most people, you’ll notice that inhabited by many
with others and your life purpose. accessible and simple, which is our you feel more regulated, you your mind is inhabited by many
There are other states, like the If you feel calm, regulated, and breath. The breath is one of the can move to the last step (c). different voices, thoughts, images, different voices,
freeze response, in which you safe, you will navigate the world few things we can control directly and other phenomena. It is almost
cannot think or even move. The and your relationship with yourself from our ANS—it is called b If your system is immobilized, like there are many different thoughts, images,
freeze response is a blend of and others from a much deeper autonomic as it controls most close your left nostril and take people living inside your heads.
mobilization and immobilization, and saner place. processes autonomously. Yogis some fast and vigorous breaths And they do not always agree
and other
almost like having the break and have known this for ages, using through the right one. Here, with one another. Maybe a part phenomena.
the accelerator of a car pressed Pranayama exercises to regulate the in-breath should be longer of you wants to be reading this,
simultaneously. themselves and achieve specific than the out-breath. Do this while another is bored and wants
If you feel internal experiences. for a minute or two and then to check social media. Or a part of
move to the last step (c). you wants to go out and eat with
calm, Here is something you can try: friends, while another wants to
c If your system is regulated, stay home alone and order pizza.

1
regulated, and Place one hand on your belly rest your awareness in the Maybe one is compassionate,
and the other on your chest. breath. Breathe in, counting to loving, and kind, and another is
safe, you will Notice how your hands move 4, and breathe out, counting aggressive and has nasty thoughts
navigate the with your breath for 30 to 60 to 6. If your mind wanders, toward others or yourself. This
seconds; bring it back to your breath. multiplicity of the mind is not
world and your Notice what happens and if only normal but expected.2 It is

2
Notice now what is the it allows you to become more not a sign of trauma, or something
relationship main tone of your ANS: is it grounded. wrong with you.
mobilized (feeling anxious,
with yourself irritated, etc.), immobilized Another beneficial practice The first thing I invite you to do
and others (feeling numb, sad, without energy, I recommend, especially if is stop fighting your thoughts and
etc.) or regulated (feeling calm, you’re feeling mobilized, is these inner parts.
from a much relaxed, etc.)? Heartfulness Relaxation,
which you can try on your The second thing I invite you to
deeper and own at https://bit.ly/hfnrelax. consider is that all these parts
actually have good intentions. Yes,
saner place. including the one that criticizes

20 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 21


SELF-CAR E S E LF-CARE
vulnerability to others anymore.
you, the other that is selfish What would change if you When you notice one, try to actual age and update it). Or ask, terrifying bully hides a scared
We are all
toward others, and even the one started to relate with these inner find where it lives in or around “Why do you do what you do?” and vulnerable child who is
that sometimes makes you do parts from a place of compassion your body. Is it in the head, the Another question that is helpful afraid of being too fragile. trying our
things that you are not proud and understanding? shoulders, the gut, the Heart, is, “What are you afraid would Perhaps behind a highly
of, like engaging in addictive behind the back? Notice how happen if you didn’t do your perfectionist part lies a child best, and
behaviors—food, drugs, sex, Here are some practices you it manifests with curiosity and job?” who believes they are never
pornography, shopping, work, can try in order to regulate your kindness. What happens when enough. deep inside,

4
and so on. What would happen mind and connect with your you pay attention to it without If you want to go a
if you discovered that all these inner world: judgment? step further, see if it is We are all trying our best, and
we all want
parts are, in fact, trying to help possible to extend some deep inside, we all want to be to be seen,

1 3
you? Maybe the inner critic is Heartfulness Cleaning: If you find an inner part, compassion and understanding seen, valued, and loved. Can you
just making sure it criticizes us the practice of cleaning ask it some questions. to the part. Let it know with see beyond the mask? valued, and
first to ensure that others do not (https://bit.ly/hfncleaning) Yes, try asking the part your inner voice you understand
criticize us later. Or that the one will allow you to let go of all the some questions and don’t think and respect what it’s trying to do What happens when you allow loved.
who is using addictions is just complexities and impurities your about the answers. Simply notice for you. Notice how it reacts. some heartful wishes to be
trying to distract us from feeling parts carry inside, regulating if something emerges from directed toward the people

5
the pain (physical or emotional) your mind and increasing your within. For instance, ask it how Last, ask it what it needs around you? Try with your inner
or the negative beliefs we carry awareness. old it thinks you are (if it shares from you—if there is voice to wish them well: it can
inside. a different number from your something you can do be as simple as “May they be

2
Awareness of parts: age, you can tell the part your or stop doing in order for it to happy; may they be free from
Perhaps the one who shows notice the parts or sub- relax, as it has been working so suffering; may they be at peace”.
up as arrogant, or shows a cold personalities that live hard to help you. Notice how it profoundly
and closed face to others is inside you all the time. How do impacts how you feel, and how
protecting a vulnerable part they manifest? Thoughts, images, What would happen if you it allows you to sense into our
inside that was hurt in the inner voices, color, sensations? could do the same with other common humanity.
past and pledged to make people? To see them beyond
sure that you would not show the masks they show in the To be continued.
world. To realize that all of us
have these different parts that
are trying their best to make us
Perhaps the one who shows up happy and not suffer.

as arrogant, or shows a cold Try to see beyond the mask


the next time you engage with
and closed face to others is someone. Maybe behind the
mask of a highly intellectual part 1.
protecting a vulnerable part hides a 7-year-old child who
According to the Polyvagal Theory
developed by Stephen Porges, Ph.D. More

inside that was hurt in the past doesn’t know how to manage info here: https://www.polyvagalinstitute.
their own emotions. They took org/whatispolyvagaltheory.
and pledged to make sure that refuge in the conceptual space
since it was safer than feeling
you would not show the turbulence in which they 2.
According to several psychotherapeutic
grew up. Maybe behind that approaches, such as Internal Family
vulnerability to others anymore. Systems, developed by Richard Schwartz,
Ph.D. More info: https://ifs-institute.com/

22 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 23


S E LF-CARE

A
s a child, one activity I Can there be pain without Where attention goes, energy
relished was to play with suffering? Can there be suffering flows! Through our attention and
my friends on the street. without pain? attitude, we can make a mountain
This would typically occupy the out of a mole hill or a mole hill
entire evening, and I would return This reflection led me to out of a mountain.
home well after dusk. The exact appreciate the difference between
activities did not matter. That we pain and suffering. Pain is what When someone inquired of Babuji
did it together mattered. is there; suffering is what we (one of the Heartfulness guides)
consciously experience. On that about his stomach ache, he replied,
One such evening, when I was evening, the pain must have “Now that you have reminded me
about twelve years of age, I fell been there from the moment I of my stomach ache, I can feel the
down while playing with my scraped my knee, but there was pain!” It helps to focus on things
friends. I immediately got up, no suffering because I was not that inspire us, elevate us, motivate
brushed the dust off my clothes conscious of the pain. It is in the us, to work on things that deliver
and continued running around. consciousness of the pain that we tangible results, and moderate
When I returned home two hours suffer. the level of attention given to the

Where
later, my mother stared at my legs things that trouble us.
and asked, “What happened?” I Physical pain, hardships,

Attention
looked down and saw that my relationships, conflict: there are One of my favorite quotes is,
knee was badly scraped, blood had very many things that trouble us in “Always look toward the light. For
oozed out of the wound reaching life. There is no getting away from when we turn away from the light,

Goes,
my feet and had dried up as well. the pain these things cause. We we see our own shadow.”
need to pay attention to the issue

Energy
I recall clutching my leg to cry, for causing the pain. But it seems that The key to reducing our suffering
I could feel the throbbing pain in we can pay too much attention, or and unlocking our potential is
my knees. The injury seemed to too little. the way we manage ourselves on

Flows!
come alive the moment I noticed the mental and emotional plane.
it. The day passed, and I forgot Too little attention delays the A greater level of awareness to
all about this incident until a resolution of the problem, understand what we are going
few years ago, when the memory extending the pain. On the through, the agility of the mind
SRIRAM RAGHAVENDRAN popped up out of nowhere. contrary, the more we brood and to redirect attention, a developed
remembers a childhood obsess over a problem, the bigger will to swing us into action
incident that helped When I reflected on this small, it seems to get, blowing up the rather than brood, all make us
him understand how insignificant incident, several suffering. I sometimes end up productive, effective, and happy.
we perceive pain and questions came up: making a problem so big that I These are some of the attributes
suffering, and how we find myself left with no energy I have developed through a
can unlock our potential. Why did I not experience the pain to do any work. By moderating regular and systematic practice of
while playing, after scraping my our attention and swinging into Heartfulness.
knee? surgical action, the problem is
solved quickly.
Why should I feel the throbbing
pain the moment I realized I had
scraped my knee?

AI generated image
24 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 25
26

inspiration

Love cannot remain by


itself—it has no meaning.
Love has to be put into
action and that action is
service.

MOTHER TERESA

26
LETTERS TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS

I N S P I RATIO N

turn heavier, affecting our free-flowing consciousness. Even free-flowing


THE NATURE OF consciousness is not the ultimate, as it has yet to become still, poised, and

Higher Consciousness ripple-free.

Neuroplasticity, flexible consciousness, and the elastic nature of consciousness


all mean the ability to adjust to the external and internal environment.
Dear Dad,
Buddhism described this as “beginner’s mind.”

The lack of this ability means we become either more and more extroverted or
What does it mean to experience
more and more introverted. An introverted nature is extreme, even though it
higher states of consciousness?
is oriented toward the inner life. Introverts tend to be irresponsible toward
worldly life and responsibilities. An extroverted nature is another extreme, like
the two ends of a stick. The ability to move in both directions as per the need
means mastery over circumstances, balancing both the spiritual and material
Dear Sahaj and Marg, wings of existence.

In my previous letter, I said that consciousness is all about awareness; At times when we feel at ease and comfortable, do we find the need to change
rather, it is the degree of awareness, which also means the degree of or transform? Only when we face adverse situations do we see the need to
unawareness, and how we respond to situations with that awareness. Based change, which is natural. This in turn will push us to do one or more of
on this, the least aware is the least evolved. three things: change the circumstances that cause the adversity, change our
understanding, and learn to adapt.
In addition, some people are aware but do not respond. For example, a
person notices someone is hungry, and their heart melts. They feel sad, but Mastery of consciousness is also reflected in our ability to rise above the
they rush back home. Their heart is kind, but not kind enough to respond dwandwas [dualities] of likes-dislikes, peace-restlessness, love-hate, courage-
with a solution. From this angle, non-violence is great but compassion is fear. In short, this is mastery over maya. Will there ever be a day in this
greater. objective world when we will not react toward the feelings, words, actions,
intentions, and attitudes of others? The day we master the art of holding
Let us look at it from another perspective. Consciousness can also be seen ourselves when required and expressing ourselves with a noble stand will be the
as an indicator of inner freedom. Inner freedom means the absence of most blessed in life. The principle and the precise mechanism are understood
cognitive biases, preconditioning, or samskaras. How do you feel when you well, but the practical implementation is another matter. Our life runs on a
have done something against the feelings of your heart? For example, when simple principle – external stimulus and our inner reaction or response.
you hurt someone with the most powerful weapons – telling the bitter truth,
reminding someone time and again about their follies, or saying, “I told From this angle, we see that mastery over consciousness is also about
you so!” It is well known that whenever we do anything against the feelings controlling our reactions and responses. In short, this is the aspect of mastery
of the heart, we suffer the consequences. The heart sinks, and our feelings over the ego.

28 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 29


Will an evolved person say, “I am too weak to tolerate these circumstances,” or
“I cannot hear this,” or “I cannot take this insult,” or “I am unable to see eye to Dear Sahaj and Marg,
eye with so-and-so”? Such an attitude will not come to the surface. An evolved
Adding to the previous letter, I would like to share with you some of the
person will not want to take revenge, nor will they want to hurt anyone. Such an
great qualities of dear Babuji. Such qualities also indirectly reflect an
individual is above and beyond the reactions to which most people succumb. The
evolved state of consciousness.
heart of such a person is graced with a special mantle, and every atom of that
mantle is charged with courage and infinite optimism due to the high level of His work demanded that he perceive the needs of others. He could work
confidence such a person has in their Maker. spiritually and make the person feel at home, at peace. During his period
of abhyas [spiritual practice], he could perceive the work done by his
We get into trouble and a lot of pain when we are betrayed or misunderstood
Master ahead of time. The moment Lalaji Maharaj arrived, he would
by a close associate. The closer the associate, the greater the pain. A typical
adjust himself, put on his cap, and become receptive.
situation is where you are facing a cliff on one side, and on the other a lion
is waiting for you! You are going to get affected no matter what. What can Often, before Lalaji could finish his thought or question, Babuji would
be done? What sort of response is the wisest? You must study the situation and perceive it all clearly and offer a solution. In praise of his level of
respond to it, seeing how to salvage the damage, always giving the benefit of the consciousness, Swami Vivekananda remarked that it would be difficult
doubt to the other. If a simple apology can solve the matter, you may consider for a saint of the highest caliber to even approach Babuji’s lowest state
yourself lucky. of consciousness.
Moreover, not reacting impulsively creates a very special condition within. Our So, from this angle, it is also about developing sensitivity, the art of
heart muscles are forged in the cave of misery. So, there is nothing wrong with feeling the needs of others, and responding with the appropriate measures.
becoming angry; the only thing is to be able to hold it and restrain yourself
from expressing it. Not expressing your anger makes you stronger. I think it is enough for now.

Evolved consciousness is akin to a beautiful silk thread, yet it is stronger than Lots of love,
a steel fiber. “Vajradapi kathorani mruduni kusumadapi [more resolute and Dad
stronger than a diamond, yet more tender and sensitive than a flower]” was the
description defining Lord Rama’s consciousness. Sensitive to spiritual and
worldly duties, while at the same time more and more capable of withstanding
the onslaughts of day-to-day life.

The explanation has become rather long. I hope I could narrate the traits
associated with a higher consciousness.

With lots of love,


Dad

30 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 31


I N S P I RATIO N

Are We
Taking Care Q: Welcome, Professor Otis.
Could you please share a little
bit about your background
and your interest in ethics and
Literature and science evoke
compassion in different ways.
Science reminds us of what we
all have in common. A lot of
Q: This conversation
is especially relevant
with climate change,
wars, economic crises,

of Each Other?
care? people in literary studies think homelessness, and more. In
that everything is influenced or your opinion, what would be
At university, I studied even determined by culture and the key ethical responsibilities
biochemistry and neuroscience. language, but when you think of leaders when it comes
Then I had a huge crisis, and about how brains work, you to caring for others, in
ended up with a Ph.D. in realize that anyone’s brain can community, organizational,
comparative literature. So my develop problems. and family settings?
research and teaching involve
the intersection of literature and As we age, we develop similar First, make sure that you’re well
science. I became interested in problems. Seeing the things informed, not just listening
LAURA OTIS is Professor of English at caregiving because my mother that can go wrong with the to yes-people. Nowadays,
Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia. developed early onset dementia human nervous system evokes we have good information
She integrates scientific and literary in her early 60s, and that led tenderness in me. I realize how about how people are living in
thinking, and is especially interested to an interest in seeing how precious and beautiful it is, and communities, involving feedback
in multisensory imagery and caregiving is represented in want to take care of it, not abuse from the community groups.
emotions. Here she is interviewed by stories, novels, and plays, how it. When I see someone who Be open and willing to listen to
KASHISH KALWANI, a former student people create narratives around has trouble moving or thinking, what’s happening.
of Professor Otis, about the ethics of caregiving, how realistic they I think that everything wrong
care. are, and the ethics involved in with that person’s nervous There are different political
representing caregiving. That’s system could go wrong with philosophies about how
what brought me to the course mine, or with anybody I know. responsible leaders are for
at Emory. Science is a reminder of what we the welfare of others. There’s
have in common. everything on the spectrum from
Q: How do you find that every person for himself to the
literature and neuroscience Literature opens my mind to government’s responsibility for
have formed your different ways of looking at everyone. And I fall somewhere
understanding and approach caregiving and understanding or in the middle.
to care and ethics, in experiencing disease that might
academics and everyday life? not otherwise have occurred to Listen to people, and then be
me. ready to muster government
resources to help. It’s best and

32 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 33


INSP I RAT IO N I N S P I RATIO N

probably cheapest if done in Literature opens No stigmas. No stigma for our interactions with family we also need care. It’s tough
a proactive way. Rather than taking care of somebody and friends. And hopefully that because we’re raised to “have
waiting for the next hurricane my mind to yourself, no stigma in saying knowledge continues to develop it together.” No one has time
or disaster, find out what no. No stigma against quitting as we grow. Some people are for our mess, everyone’s having
caused so much suffering in the different ways of your job because you want to better at it than others, but at a rough life, so we have to
last disaster and keep it from take care of your family. No any point in life we can learn
happening again.
looking at stigma against deciding that how to treat other people.
handle it on our own. We have
to ask: How can I take care of
caregiving and your family member needs to Build a network that grows ever myself?
Q: How do global issues such live in an assisted care facility. outward. It’s most logical to start
as climate change, inequality, understanding or Care choices should be open with your family and friends That’s right. Also, I’d say, be
and wars impact our ethical to whatever works best for the in your community, but don’t careful asking people if they
obligations toward care, both experiencing family. necessarily be satisfied with that. need anything, because you may
at an individual and collective Keep expanding the circle. not get an honest answer.
level?
disease that might I would love to see the stigma
not otherwise have taken away from assisted living, Q: I agree. It’s easier to ask
Countries that have contributed what used to be called nursing someone how they would
the most to global warming occurred to me. homes; no shame if a family like to receive care than to
probably have a responsibility to chooses to do this because they ask for help ourselves, but
help people who are suffering, can no longer provide the care.
like those whose countries are
about to disappear because of I’d like to see more affordable
rising sea levels, those who’ve assisted living options. We need
had to leave their homes. Money Q: Thank you for talking about high. You’re getting evaluated creativity to set that up because
is finite, and even rich countries all the time. I was also in a people are living longer, and
the global scale. You said that
Care choices
may not have much money to your mother had dementia, so psychologically abusive marriage they need care in the last part of
spare. But they can take into how did you approach her care and trying to leave. During that their lives. It’s not something we should be open
consideration what’s going on. while also dealing with your period, I thought very little about can improvise.
world and the world outside? the world. to whatever
We can probably help more I feel sorry for people who don’t
immigrants than we might The worst time with dementia I pulled back, so there’s a void in have the money for assisted works best for
believe. It’s not that we should is when the patient is still trying my knowledge of current events living. They have to figure it
open the border and let everyone to live the life they had before, between 1993 and 1995. It’s a out themselves. I’d like to see
the family.
come in, but we can invest more not in an assisted living facility. natural human response—you more social and government
resources in processing people, Once the person is in an assisted feel threatened, so you focus on involvement in care and more
evaluating whether they have a living facility (if the family yourself. But I don’t recommend affordable options.
right to come. makes that choice), everything that. The irony is that it may
is easier. The transition time actually help to think beyond Q: So how do we take care of
We need to do concrete things of deciding what we would yourself. I know that now. I didn’t each other? How do we ask for
to help people who are affected do, where she would go to get know that then. help?
by climate change and wars, the care she needed, coincided
rather than being reactive. How with me trying to get tenure in Q: What changes would you Start with the people nearest
can we stop the causes? Can my academic career, which is like to see in the way societies you and work outward. We
we move faster toward green when expectations are extremely approach care? learn how to treat others from
energy?

34 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 35


INSP I R AT IO N I N S P I RATIO N

We can always take better care Q: You are the author of many what time frame, and it bothered
of each other. Where there are books. Has there been any me. Luckily, I thought outward,
cultural forces involved, there’s ethical or moral dilemma that rather than just getting mad, and
It’s worthwhile paying
a delicate balance. In America, arose within the characters realized how much people try attention to your own
the idea of taking care of each and themes of your books? to control their emotions and
other is that we’re all supposed dictate the emotions of others. emotions because it
to take care of ourselves. Some Probably all of them! The one The ethical dimension for me
people experience an offer of that comes to mind is the most is: what right do I have to say helps you understand
help as invasive or disrespectful. recent one, Banned Emotions. what another person should be
If someone suddenly wants to The first line of that book is, feeling? I haven’t experienced other people who are
take care of them, even within “What are the politics of telling what they experienced.
a relationship, there may be people what to feel?”
feeling similar emotions.
conflict. They do not want to I wrote about patterns and
be taken care of. There can be It grew out of a personal story. emotions like long-term
exploitation, too. Some people I’d had a bad breakup, and simmering anger, self-pity,
expect to be taken care of, which everybody had advice about envy, etc., which are socially
is not good either. Be aware of what I should do. People were discouraged. We’re not supposed
the interpersonal and cultural telling me what to feel and in to feel them, especially self-pity.
forces that shape the issues Also, the advice not to feel those what you’re really telling them is forward, you’re not supposed to
around care. things doesn’t go equally to all; it to suppress their anger at injustice. hold onto things. You’re supposed
tends to go toward the people who to let go and move on. And if it
I confess, I don’t respond well have the least power. Women have That’s not going to cause justice makes you feel sorry for yourself,
when people try to take care We can always very often been told what they suddenly to bloom. It’s a kind it may actually help you to keep
of me. I find it disrespectful. should and should not be feeling. of censorship, stopping critique. going. If you never get beyond the
But when I’ve needed help, it take better care Sianne Ngai at the University of feeling of outrage, then that’s not
hasn’t bothered me at all. I’ve One example is, “Life is not Chicago wrote a book called Ugly going to do anybody any good. If
been grateful. I was in a traffic
of each other. fair.” Parents tell children, prison Feelings, and she said that if you’re it helps you to heal, though, then
accident in 2000; I was riding Where there are guards tell prisoners, teachers tell telling people with less power that why not? We don’t have a right to
my bike when a truck ran over students; it doesn’t move the other they’re not allowed to feel certain tell people what they should be
my foot. People immediately cultural forces way. I can’t imagine a kid telling emotions, you’re preventing social feeling to heal.
stopped what they were doing her parents, “Life is not fair,” if critique.
to help, and I appreciated that; I involved, there’s a something happens that the parent It’s worthwhile paying attention
had no problem. doesn’t like. It’s like that with Q: That is so powerful. to your own emotions because it
delicate balance. emotions. “Oh, you’re wallowing in helps you understand other people
It’s difficult judging when to self-pity,” and the person may have It’s complicated because people on who are feeling similar emotions.
help. When I’ve seen other a very good reason to feel sorry for the other side will say, “Well, what
people in accidents, I’ve dropped themself, or to feel angry. When good did self-pity ever do anyone?” Q: I guess that is how we take
what I was doing so I could you feel that way, it’s because But if nobody seems to be on your care of each other.
help, because I appreciated what you’ve experienced injustice. When side, it’s reasonable to feel sorry for
people did for me. But I’m also you tell people, “You have no right yourself and say, “I hurt. This isn’t
sensitive to people’s pride in to feel sorry for yourself, you have fair.” These are reasonable things
their privacy. All you can do is no right to be angry over this, you to think, as long as they’re healing
give your best judgment. need to have positive emotions,” you. You’re supposed to be moving

36 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 37


Workplace
The most important single
ingredient in the formula
of success is knowing how
to get along with people.

THEODORE ROOSEVELT
WO RK P LAC E

The Lone
I
Ranger
n navigating the complexities of number of hours worked but in the with these thoughts, know
leadership, one often encounters effectiveness of those hours. The that this is just the surface of
the perplexing case of the balanced workload distribution transformative insights we offer.
“indispensable” employee. These and the seamless delegation of
are the dedicated individuals who tasks best measure efficiency.
put in over 60 hours a week and
whose departure requires a team Through our insights into ichak@adizes.com
of three for replacement. At first organizational dynamics, we
DR. ICHAK ADIZES comes up with a surprising glance, their dismissal might seem suggest a paradigm shift from https://www.ichakadizes.com/
solution for working together for growth and like a loss, both in terms of human valuing sheer effort to appreciating post/what-did-i-learn-this-week
prosperity, and caring for all concerned. effort and financial prudence. Yet, intelligent, strategic work.
experience and reflection bring to The goal is to foster a work While the Adizes
light a different narrative. environment where productivity
is not solely the responsibility of Institute offers
The Adizes Institute recognizes one but the collective triumph of a
that the dedication of such well-coordinated team. pathways to
individuals often masks a critical
inefficiency. This Lone Ranger, While the Adizes Institute offers enhance these
while admirable in their tenacity, pathways to enhance these aspects
may inadvertently create a of organizational life, the more
aspects of
bottleneck, hindering the flow of excellent value lies in the shared organizational life,
processes and delaying essential understanding and insight we
decisions. Their work style, bring to light together. It’s about the more excellent
characterized by linear focus and recognizing that, sometimes,
reactive prioritization, can lead to letting go of what seems value lies in the
a cascade of missed opportunities indispensable opens the door to
and stifled team potential. a more dynamic and prosperous
shared
organizational structure. understanding and
It's a common managerial
conundrum: when does hard We invite you to reflect on insight we bring to
work cross the line from asset to these observations within your
liability? The answer lies not in the enterprises. If you find resonance light together.

40 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 41


WO RK P LACE

Following up on last month’s article, STANISLAS LAJUGIE shares


details about our sleep patterns and what is needed to create a
really healthy sleep routine.

How Is Your
SLEEP
If you want to follow was slow and the body completely Research reveals that the
your dreams, go to sleep relaxed with no movement of the glymphatic system also aids
early eyes. This state was called deep or memory consolidation, potentially
NREM sleep. explaining sleep’s role in

I
n the 1950s, after conducting brain health. Prolonged sleep

Health?
experiments on rats that were During NREM sleep, the body deprivation can impair this,
later confirmed on humans, repairs itself. Tissues regenerate, allowing toxic waste buildup that
scientists discovered that we the immune system rejuvenates, contributes to cognitive decline
did not have a continuous and and energy levels replenish. The and neurological disorders,
consistent pattern of brainwave brain consolidates memories and including Alzheimer’s.
activity during sleep. Instead, the learning from the day, and expels
brainwave patterns fluctuated neurotoxins. The initial stage of sleep and
between periods of higher- transitory phases are light REM
frequency waves, similar to Indeed, deep NREM sleep is sleep, followed by progressively
wakeful brain activity, and periods the brain’s cleanup phase. Brain deeper states. During REM
of low-frequency waves, typical of activity and blood circulation sleep, brain activity heightens,
deep sleep. decrease, permitting the accompanied by rapid eye
glymphatic system (clears waste movement. This phase is
The sleep periods resembling products and toxins from the characterized by dreams and
wakeful states were characterized brain) to facilitate the exchange flashbacks, testing all scenarios,
by rapid and irregular eye of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) and and allowing vital processing and
movements, and dreams. This interstitial fluid (ISF) in the brain. memorization of emotions.
type of sleep was called rapid eye During this phase, ISF volume
movement or REM sleep. During increases by 60%, flushing the The World Health Organization
the other periods, brain activity brain and eliminating waste. recommends seven to nine

42 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 43


WOR K P L AC E N1 WO RK P LACE

Light NREM sleep.


Stages of Sleep deep within the brain, the pineal circadian rhythm, helping to align
5% or 20 to 25 minutes. gland plays a crucial role in the internal biological processes with
Transition to sleep. regulation of various physiological the external day-night cycle.
processes, including the sleep-
wake cycle and the production of What is your sleep
the hormone melatonin. health? 9 to 10.30 p.m.
80% NREM and 20% REM
REM The pineal gland receives signals
from a cluster of neurons in the
When we sleep has an effect on
our circadian rhythm. If we go
hypothalamus (SCN) that acts as to sleep after 11 p.m., we will
20 to 25% or 1.5 to 2 hours. the body’s master biological clock. not get the longest duration
Dreaming. Emotional processing The SCN receives information of NREM sleep, in particular
& emotional memory about the external light-dark cycle N3 (very deep sleep), the stage
consolidation. through the eyes’ retinal cells, most associated with physical 10.30 p.m. to 12 a.m.
which then communicate this restoration and recovery. During 60% NREM and 40% REM
information to the pineal gland. N3 sleep, the body engages in
critical processes like cell repair,
When darkness falls, the SCN growth, and immune system
signals the pineal gland to increase support, and the brain’s glymphatic
its production of melatonin, system is most active. Deep sleep
and the rise in melatonin also plays a vital role in memory
levels promotes drowsiness and consolidation, particularly for 12 to 1.30 a.m.
prepares the body for sleep. As declarative memory (facts, 50% NREM and 50% REM
N3 morning approaches and light events, experiences). Emotional
levels increase, the SCN signals processing and regulation are also
the pineal gland to decrease linked to deep sleep, helping to
Deep NREM sleep.
20 to 25% or 1.5 to 2 hours.
N2 melatonin production, promoting modulate emotional responses
wakefulness. In this way, the pineal and potentially reset the brain’s
Most restorative & healing.
Deeper NREM sleep. gland’s secretion of melatonin emotional state.
Brain cleansing &
45 to 55% or 3.5 to 4.4 hours. serves as a key component of the 1.30 to 3 a.m.
memory consolidation. 40% NREM and 60% REM
Progressing deeper.

hours of sleep for adults, though with around four to five cycles is the natural, internal process
An average sleep cycle spans 90 minutes,
individual needs may differ. Sleep in a 24-hour span for optimal that regulates the sleep-wake with around four to five cycles in a 24-hour
quality also matters. A fulfilling rejuvenation. Uninterrupted sleep, cycle and various physiological 3 to 4.30 a.m.
night’s sleep contains multiple devoid of frequent awakenings, is and behavioral processes in living span for optimal rejuvenation. 20% NREM and 80% REM
cycles of deep sleep and light equally crucial. organisms, including humans, on
sleep, essential for physical and a daily basis. The main gland that
mental revitalization. An average Quality of sleep is not only about regulates the circadian rhythm
The S ch e d u le o f t h e
sleep cycle spans 90 minutes, how long we sleep, but also when is the pineal gland. Located
P i n e a l Gla n d
we sleep. The circadian rhythm

44 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 45


WOR K P L AC E

Sleeping early supports metabolic Meditation: a gateway Moral of the story?


functions and helps regulate to enhanced sleep and

Striking a Balance
hormones involved in appetite brain function The lesson is clear: sleep’s
control, metabolism, and stress intelligence far surpasses our
response. Disrupting these To become a sleep champion comprehension. Ignoring it could
processes by sleeping late can requires a healthy lifestyle: going hasten our journey toward an
potentially lead to metabolic to sleep early and for long enough, early end. In the grand mosaic
imbalances and increased stress. a balanced work life, regular of existence, sleep is not a waste

Melatonin secretion increases in


the evening, promoting sleepiness.
exercise, reduced coffee and tea
consumption, a timely and light
diet.
of time for the busy, but a vital
need. Our physical and mental
well-being dance to its rhythm,
Work, Life, and You
If we’re awake and exposed to and meditation may well be
light when our bodies expect Additionally, meditation brings the conductor guiding us to
darkness, melatonin levels may many benefits for sleep quality and harmonious rest. DR. SNEHAL DESHPANDE has been a developmental therapist in
remain elevated, leading to brain functioning, including stress the field of Pediatric Physiotherapy for 30 years. She deals with
feelings of fatigue, and a mismatch reduction1, enhanced sleep quality2, families whose children explore their potential in a very different
between our internal clock and circadian rhythm alignment3, and way, and working with these families has given her resilience and
external environment. Instead of daytime vitality4. helped her learn adaptive mechanisms. She is the Director of
feeling energetic in the morning, CME and other Healthcare initiatives for Heartfulness Institute,
melatonin presence may persist, and here shares her insights on work-life balance with her team.
making it difficult to wake.

Not getting the necessary NREM


sleep can contribute to mood
disturbances, like irritability, mood
swings, and potential mental
health issues.

In summary, when we consistently


go to bed after 11 p.m., we miss
out on the critical early-night
NREM sleep stages, which can
have a cascading impact on
various aspects of our health and
functioning.

If you need to make adjustments


to your sleep schedule, it’s
recommended to do it gradually
over a period of time, to allow your 1
Jindal et al., 2016; Tang et al., 2015; Winbush et al., 2007; Ong et al., 2008.
body to adapt to the changes. 2
Black et al., 2015; Gong et al., 2016.
3
Burke et al., 2015.
4
Colzato et al., 2015; Mrazek et al., 2013.

46 H eart f u l n es s
WOR K P L AC E WO RK P LACE

Q. You have been a professional Stress. It’s the biggest word that every single day at work. Simple happy about it. Find purpose in
for more than 30 years, what hits Google. How do we build things like a bunch of flowers your work, and your workplace
does work mean to you? stress? How do we build work- and keeping photos of your loved will automatically become a
related stress? In the beginning it ones will make you happy. happy place.
As a physiotherapist, wife, and is unimaginable. When we take
mother, work has been an integral up a career, we say, “Oh, wow, Seek support at work. Asking Create boundaries so your
part of what I call “me.” My I’m a doctor,” or “I’ve become an for help does not mean you are work does not creep into your
mother instilled in me that work engineer,” but when we start really incapable. It says, “I’m here. home space.
is worship; if you want to worship working, it becomes a tragedy. I’m new. Let’s walk this way
God, worship what you are doing. We meet friends and say, “This is together.” Switch off your gadgets to
Having this ingrained in me from happening at work,” or “Shifts are give yourself some “me” time.
childhood, I decided that whatever there,” or “I’m not liking my job.” Create a schedule, something Your brain needs time to rewire.
I did in life, I should work. There Work-related stress is now one of that modern life thrives upon. Instead of scrolling through your
was no difference between what the biggest concerns. Include your morning wake up mobile, talk to a friend or family
we call work life and family life. time, your exercise routine, member, or just be quiet.
Work is work, joy, and happiness. Work-life balance is ultimately meditation time, and travel time.
created by our choices. By agreeing A schedule will help you make These are a few tricks I follow
Most of us spend 40% of our to take on more work when we use of that travel time, and arrive to integrate my personal and
lives working. We should like our don’t have the capacity, or cannot at work 15 minutes early. professional life. By fine-tuning
workplace, because it’s another delegate that work, we create things we can maintain harmony
home. But do we really treat our stress for ourselves. Improving our Chart out where you want to and joy in the long run.
workplaces as home, where we way to enjoy our work. Yet many become a CA,” or “Because my work-life balance improves our go. Think about what will help
can relax? When we are relaxed, people find that difficult. What father wants me to be a doctor, I mental health, because it helps us you to do better. What really
we can give our best. When are the possible reasons for will become a doctor.” But what to become organized. It helps us to helps you do better is to give of
we compare our behavior and that? do we want to do? What does the compartmentalize; our wardrobes yourself. Then you feel like you
attitudes at work and at home, inner self want to do? Do we ask becomes user friendly, our houses are contributing and you feel
"Work-life balance
we realize that we need to change We think that work is different ourselves these questions? And become neat, etc. Having balance is ultimately
things to lead a life that is aligned from the rest of our lives and “What is it that I want to do that means having better physical,
and balanced. create a distance between will improve the greater good mental, emotional, occupational, created by our
ourselves and work. Work is not of humanity?” If we ask these and intellectual health. Wellness
Q: Treating the workplace as different from us. The question questions, and treat our work as covers all aspects. And even choices."
a second home is an amazing is: why do we do a particular something that allows us to make working on one of them definitely
job? Undoubtedly, there is no the change for which we are here, works on all aspects of well-being.
“impossible” in the human spectra, I’m sure our work-life balance, the
but sometimes we do things core of work life integration, as we Q: Can you share some well-
"If you want to which we don’t want to do. We say, can be solved. being tips with us?
do it because we want to earn
worship God, a livelihood, or because of our Q: Why do you think it is Accept that this is going to be
parents, our peer group, or other necessary to have integration the life I will lead.
worship what you social pressures. between work and life in this

are doing." generation? Be creative in your workplace.


As an example, we may say, Feel free to do something good
“Because she is a CA, I want to

48 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 49


relationships
To be loving is to be open to grief,
to be touched by sorrow, even
sorrow that is unending.

BELL HOOKS

Illustration by JASMEE MUDGAL


Transforming
Grief
In the aftermath of his death,

N
ovember 29, 2020 is there were so many mixed
a date etched in my and complicated emotions, all
brain as the day my life shrouded in a cloud of intense
changed forever. My husband, grief. The sadness, isolation,
who had been by my side for fear, and sense of helplessness
27 years, died suddenly and overwhelmed me in those early
unexpectedly at the age of days. Outwardly, I appeared
50. I think of that time as an fine to many, as I mustered the
inflection point in my life, strength to put one foot in front
before his death (B.D.) and after of the other, driven by the sole
(A.D.). purpose of providing stability
for my children.
In the three years since, I
have become a different Balancing this newfound solo
person. Looking back on the life with a full-time career was
NEERAJA KAIRAM is a physician early days and months, I see far from easy, especially when I
based in New Jersey, USA. She a mix of pain and sorrow, inherited the task of managing
shares with us her gratitude for gratitude, and resilience. I am my late husband’s business. His
the community she has found still on the journey of navigating employees were also grappling
as she navigates the complex this new life that neither my with losing their beloved boss
emotions surrounding grief, and kids nor I asked for. Along the and their own anxieties about
builds bridges of understanding. way, I have discovered how their livelihoods, so they looked
the support of community and to me for leadership. And, the
the connections I have formed constant concern for my three
allowed me to flourish even in teenagers—now relying on me
the most difficult of times. as their sole parent—weighed
incessantly.

52 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 53


RE LATIO N S H I P S

Not long after my husband’s of revelation. I connected with family received 12 daily gifts
passing, a former colleague and the sentiment, even though I from strangers that helped them
It is about friend, who had recently lost her struggled for so long to find cope with their grief during the
husband to cancer, introduced the right words to express it. In holiday season. To this day, the
recognizing the me to an online support group this community of remarkable sender of those gifts remains a
for physician widows. Initially, women I found solace and mystery, but the impact of this
shared human the word “widow” bore the mutual support. unexpected gesture of kindness
weight of sorrow, but with time, and compassion has been
experience and it came to represent strength and Support also came from permanently cemented in our
acknowledging resilience. These women gave unexpected sources. I am still in hearts.
me a deep sense of belonging awe of an experience that took
the importance and understanding. They place a year after my husband’s Looking back on the past three
empathized with the myriad passing as we were approaching years, I am reminded of the
of supporting of emotions that come with the holiday season. Every day people who stood by me when I
widowhood—grief, guilt, for the 12 days of Christmas, a wasn’t at my best, who listened
one another fear, “should haves,” and all gift arrived on our front porch, when I needed to be heard,
Grief is a complex and often even a tendency to avoid the the expected and unexpected accompanied by a card signed, and who gave me space when I
through life’s
misunderstood emotion. We situation to circumvent these triggers. This supportive “Your true friends.” On the needed it. They encouraged me
all encounter it at some point uncomfortable emotions. I have most challenging community brought me a sense 13th day, we received the final to take each day one breath at
in our lives, yet it remains felt all these things myself. of normalcy regarding my own gift that explained the meaning a time. It remains a powerful
challenging to accept and share moments. emotions, and allowed me behind these mysterious testament to the support and
openly. The discomfort it brings In our society, it is to extend support to others presents, a book called The 13th kindness of loved ones and
to those around us can result in uncomfortable to discuss grief, enduring similar grief. Recently, Gift by Joanne Huist Smith. In strangers alike and exemplifies
a heavy burden, as we often feel and often not openly accepted. solace and guidance, and insisted when one of them shared, “I her book, she shares her own what it means to truly take care
compelled to hold our emotions So, is there a way to bridge I take moments of self-care. have lots of people to do things story of what happened after of each other.
in. Even the well-intentioned the gap and foster greater Despite their unwavering with, but I have no one to do her husband passed away just
question of “How are you acceptance and understanding? presence, I still grappled with nothing with,” it was a moment before Christmas. Like us, her
doing?” can leave a griever in a It requires us to break down an overwhelming sense of
difficult position, unsure how to the walls of separation and aloneness, a feeling that no
respond. push open dialogues about one could truly understand
grief to the mainstream. In the the depth of my loss unless
For would-be consolers, end, that journey requires a they had walked a similar path
there are also many complex collective effort to dismantle themselves. It wasn’t just the loss
They encouraged
emotions. In addition to traditional barriers. It is about of my husband, my best friend, me to take each
sympathy and empathy, a sense recognizing the shared human and the anchor of support for
of helplessness often stems from experience and acknowledging my children. It was also the loss day one breath at
not knowing how to alleviate the importance of supporting of the future we had envisioned
the griever’s grief. There is one another through life’s most together. I lost my partner in a time.
anxiety about saying the wrong challenging moments. travel, music concerts, and other
thing, frustration due to the adventures. I dealt with the
inability to find the right words, I was fortunate to have key loss of my identity in the world
awkwardness in not knowing people in my life who provided without him, and the loss of a
how to act or what to say, and crucial support. They offered clear sense of purpose in my life.
Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL

54 H eart f u l n es s
RE LATIO N S H I P S

M
y husband and I have The months and years following changes do not happen in any
been in the healthcare their arrival have been an certain pattern or proportion. But
industry for over three eyeopener for us. Much changed each change does affect the others.
decades; he provides home visit quickly: the energy in the house When our physical health is not
physical therapy services for the shifted as our lives revolved around good, our mental and emotional
geriatric population and I work their needs, wants, emotions, and well-being are compromised,
with the Veterans’ Affairs clinic, illnesses. Prior to their arrival, we which in turn leads to even poorer
where I treat elderly veterans of were empty nesters planning for physical health. We get trapped
war, and young veterans returning our retirement, but the immensity into a hamster wheel of sickness,
from recent tours. Because of of their health issues postponed one giant unending cycle.
the nature of our work and our those plans indefinitely.
adaptation to the ever-changing Aging is hard. It can feel like all
landscape of geriatric healthcare, We were also inching closer to the control and independence built
both of us developed what we our 60s. Little aches and pains over several decades is gone in
believed to be a thick skin to magnified in intensity, and no the blink of an eye. Many elderly
caretaking. matter how preemptive we were people must make the emotional
in managing them, we were not adjustment of returning to an
That thick skin has been tested rebounding quite as quickly. almost childlike state, in which
and recreated over the last seven Neither of us will ever regret they constantly have to ask for
years, after my husband decided to the choice we made to bring my help for even the simplest of tasks.
move his parents, in their eighties, in-laws here; at the same time, It can be lonely, embarrassing,
from India to the US, so we could caretaker burnout is very real. frightening, and often completely
care for their growing medical Whether we were willing to accept unfair.
concerns. Neither of us had any it or not, we were also aging.

Aging
apprehension about this caretaker Aging is also a challenge for
role, until his parents actually What is aging? It is a degenerative caretakers. I have wondered what
moved in. process that we undergo physically, has made the circumstances with
mentally, and emotionally. The my in-laws so challenging, when

Gracefully What is aging? It is a


degenerative process that we
SHANTHI VENKAT is a physical therapist based in the United States.
Here, she details how a deeply personal experience as a caregiver undergo physically, mentally,
pushed her to reflect on the stigma around aging and her own
professional work, and the easy steps we can take to prepare ourselves
and emotionally.
for growing older.

Feb r uar y 2 024 57


REL AT IO N SH I P S RE LATIO N S H I P S

over the past three decades, my bodies and minds healthy and
husband and I have helped so strong, and preempt the effects of
many elderly people rehabilitate aging:
themselves to live healthy,
independent lives. The challenge,
I have realized, is the emotional
attachment we have with family
members. Even when we know
3
it is coming, it is hard to watch a
parent grow older. It is hard for Spend time with friends:
the role of parent and child to Every demographic is impacted
reverse. And it is hard to care for by loneliness. Keep your personal
ourselves when our energy is going connections strong. I make a point
toward taking care of someone to pick up the phone and call my
else, especially loved ones.
1 friends a few times a week, or drop
by a friend’s home even just for an
5
Because of my work, I understand hour.
that aging is a taboo topic, one
Even when we know Take time for yourself:
that we are hesitant to learn about, Exercise regularly: Alone time is necessary to keep
it is coming, it is
because it is frightening to think Even something as simple as a yourself sharp and healthy.
about getting older. We teach walk around your neighborhood hard to watch a We must do a
young people how to become can do wonders. I spend an hour These steps may seem like
adults. We teach them how to be each day walking on the treadmill parent grow older. better job of taking common sense, but knowing
financially independent, to save or doing strength-training what we can do to stay strong
It is hard for the care of our aging
4
for retirement, to pay bills, to buy exercises. and healthy can help to make the
a house, to build a family. But we
role of parent and family and friends; process of aging more manageable.
don’t teach them how to age. We When that education is coupled
do not successfully educate people child to reverse. especially in the with compassion, acceptance, and
on how to care for the inevitable: Engage in mind-body patience, aging can be graceful. We
an aging body. last leg of life, activity: Meditation, yoga, and must do a better job of taking care
other contemplative activities of our aging family and friends;
At work I watch young veterans
people need can create a fit mind and body. especially in the last leg of life,
struggle after being discharged
from service: Their bodies and
2 support and love. In addition to my meditation
practice, I became a certified tai
people need support and love.

minds have physically and chi instructor a few years ago, The last seven years challenged
psychologically aged significantly which has been another successful the way I thought of myself as a
because of the impact of war, and Find a consistent hobby: way of keeping me connected to caregiver. More than anything, it
they are left feeling hopeless as It keeps your mind sharp and myself. challenged my own perception of
they try to navigate life under engaged. My husband and I have aging, and the ways I was taking
different circumstances. green thumbs and spend a lot of care of myself. After all, I want to
time in our garden. age gracefully too.
So I encourage you to apply these
five simple steps to keep your
Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL

58 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 59


This world can be compared to our
body. If any organ is diseased, the
whole body is affected.

LALAJI

Illustration by ANANYA PATEL


E N VI RO N M E N T

The Earth O
ver a span of two weeks
in December, ten With her roots in Vadodara and

We Share
ceramists and sculptors a long standing relationship with
from around the world gathered the Ceramic Center, Falguni
at the Ceramics Center, a not- Bhatt conceptualized this edition
for-profit studio established in of the camp, selected the artists,
Vadodara in 1998. It was among and curated the show. “This series
In December 2023, ten ceramists and sculptors the first of its kind in India, of works explores the theme of
met to collectively express what it’s like to share a offering support to artists, and at lost landscapes and the impact
world in crisis, through their medium of clay, which its heart was Jyotsna Bhatt, the of human activity on the natural
is so connected to the Earth. ANANYA PATEL was late artist and beloved teacher, who world. I seek to highlight the
there to observe the artists in their element, and was integral to the evolution of the beauty of the natural environment,
write about the projects they were working on. Ceramic Center and the growth while also drawing attention to the
of the community. The center has ways in which we have altered and
always operated under an ethos destroyed it.”
of providing space, infrastructure,
and technical expertise to facilitate
the experimentation and execution
of creative ideas, with a focus on
creative expression rather than
commercial gain.

These ten artists were the second Shalini Dam explores geopolitical narratives in her work. Here she
cohort of the “Remembering prepares the components of her six-meter-long piece exploring the
Jyotsna Bhatt” camp series duality of peace and war through its symbolism in various societies and
in her memory, to bring new cultures.
voices and perspectives to the
center. They united under the
theme, “The Earth We Share,”
collaborating, experimenting and
reflecting on the interconnected
relationships between humans and
the environment, and the issues
emerging from geopolitical tension
and climate change. The camp
culminated in a group exhibition
where the artists invited viewers to
reflect on the beauty and fragility
of the Earth we share. As they
worked, artists reflected on their
creative practice, on working at
the Ceramic Center, on their
interpretation of the theme, and
on what it means to create art in a
collective community setting.

62 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024


ENV IR O N M EN T

Jean Appleby, head of Pottery at Dr Julie Bartholomew was


the Heartfulness Institute, came inspired to continue her research
to the camp to develop an artistic on bees and insect communities.
project. She started her Habitat series
in 2020 as a response to the loss
“From the first time I made art, I of biodiversity, particular insect
felt some guidance, that the ideas life, following the wildfires that
came to me in full form, not like I devastated habitats in Australia.
was discovering so much as I was A beekeeper herself, her pieces
receiving.” are architecturally constructed
working hives that can sustain bee
Recently, the guidance Jean communities and promote their
received led her to explore an population growth.
imagined narrative around early
human civilization. She crafted a
collection of objects created and
preserved by early beings to be many beings from many places This interest in bees and their
discovered and used in the present have inhabited our planet. All collaborative communities is also
day. On creating these vessels for beings entrust us to nurture Earth shared by fellow artist, Antra
others to reflect upon, she hoped for all to become ONE.” Sinha. Antra says, “I am intrigued
to “inspire us to recognize that by the different types of shelter
that exists in our civilization,
and their status. I continue to
think about hives, bees, and
the collaboration that exists in
communities of sentient beings
and compare it to humans.”

Sweta Mansingka adds, “I believe


an artist’s thought has a voice
that rings through their work to
resonate with its audience. The
artwork is an expression of that
minimalism that hopes to provoke
the viewer to reflect and delve
deeper within. My ceramic works
are in reverence and gratitude to
our life force or energy, to Nature,
and our planet Earth.”

64 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 65


ENV I RO N M EN T E N VI RO N M E N T

Khageswar Rout is inspired by the


unique materiality of the medium:
“All the natural elements work
together to create a ceramic piece.
It emerges from the earth, and
water gives it malleability, without
which you cannot shape it. Air
To me exploring a dries it in place, but keeps it fragile
and tenuous, until it is cast in fire
new material and to give it strength and hold its
form.”
pushing its limits is
He, along with others,
just like exploring a
observed that in India, very few
new friendship community-centered studios exist,
where artists have the opportunity
Indrani Singh Cassime shared to work on equal ground, share
her insights on the artistic ideas and knowledge, and draw Art is meant to be After just a few days in each
collaborative community inspiration from one another. “We other’s company, a sense of
developing at the Ceramic Center. have become used to working learned, and togetherness and harmony
“I have made some lifelong friends, in our own studios, to make and emerged in the space. Each
so overall it has been a fantastic promote our own work. We have created, by participant supported and
experience. We have markings forgotten that art is meant to be collaborated with the others to
and angles. Hidden and seen, yet learned and created by receiving
receiving from and enhance their knowledge and
to be explored. To me exploring from and giving to one another, giving to one explore new avenues, lending a
a new material and pushing its not in isolation. It used to be that fresh set of eyes and a helping
limits is just like exploring a new way, but we don’t teach young another, not in hand when needed. They
friendship.” artists that, and we don’t practice it expressed the need for artists
ourselves.” isolation. to share their learnings and
Indrani used this opportunity to experiences in community art
experiment with the distinctive spaces so young creatives have
features of her environment and access to more knowledge and
the synergy emerging within opportunities. Many generously
the group. She brought her own shared their new discoveries and
materials, like volcanic sand recipes with the Ceramic Center,
from a beach near her studio in facilitating upcoming generations
Pondicherry, and mixed them with of ceramic artists, and nurturing
clays, glazes, and wood fire ash an environment of respect and
from the Ceramic Center, creating care where they can produce
pieces with unique textures and meaningful work that pushes
effects. Her series of Memory boundaries.
Vessels are made of various
mixtures of clay collected from her Photographs from the CERAMIC
fellow artists’ workstations. CENTER, BARODA

66 H eart f u l n es s 67
creat iv it y
Creativity is the way
I share my soul
with the world.

BRENÉ BROWN

Artwork by KATHLEEN SCARBORO


C RE ATI VI TY

Thoughts About

Painting
India
KATHLEEN SCARBORO shares her journey as an artist, explaining why she has chosen the
subjects that are so dear to her heart. In December 2023, she opened an exhibition entitled
“Indian Women: Grace and Resilience” in the Town Hall of the 16th Arrondisement of Paris,
France, to celebrate that journey, and we showcase some of those paintings here.

W
hen I met Chariji in momentum and all I had to do the desire to produce art, but
1988, I had no idea was follow along and do the work. my true message, what exactly I
that India would be I remember my painting teacher, wanted to paint, was not clear to
important in my life, or that for Patrick Betaudier, used to say that me. So much art had been created,
thirty years I would devote myself when a painting is ripe to come in so many directions, by so many
exclusively to painting this subject. into existence, it paints itself. I artists, and I wasn’t sure of my
For meditators, life unfolds and often feel that way. place in the general scheme of
reveals its main themes over things. One day, as I was working
time. As I look back over my Before starting meditation, I was on murals on Réunion Island, it
trajectory, it seems that there was already a professional painter. I suddenly seemed obvious what
an inner logic that had its own had a good technique and I had I wanted to paint, why, and for

70 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 71


CR EAT I V I T Y C RE ATI VI TY

whom. I am certain this realization was


the result of the meditation I had begun
practicing. Meditation gives us the clarity
to know ourselves, which leads to an
understanding of how to use our abilities to
share with others.

What inspires me are the lives of people


of modest condition, in tune with nature,
and the beauty and harmony of the natural
world. I generally paint women and
children; their universe is more accessible
to me, and I share the love of drapery,
textiles, and vivid color with the women
of India. The beauty that inspires me is
not that of movie stars or the perfection
of youth. I seek a quieter beauty that is
unaware of itself and not dependent on
passing modes.

Nature is an important element in my


work. I love gardening and the delicate
designs and the fleeting elegance of flowers.
I enjoy interweaving natural elements
and landscapes with portraits of people in
various postures and activities.

Indian women are often mothers and


combine a practical sense of daily reality,
work, caring for others, and a graceful,

I generally paint women


and children; their
universe is more
accessible to me, and I
share the love of drapery,
textiles, and vivid color
with the women of India.

72
natural elegance. They are the pillars of our world. I try
to evoke this in my paintings, and this is why my latest
exhibition in Paris has the title, “Indian Women: Grace
and Resilience.”

My approach to painting was greatly influenced by


classical art. I make my medium and emulsion myself, and
my technique is a modernized version of the techniques
of the Flemish and Italian Renaissance. Paintings take
months to do using this method, and intense color is
created by layers and layers of transparent oil glazes.

I became a professional artist in 1981. Throughout a


career in public art, I always dealt with a commission
system. In other words, customers would request a work
of art and I would find a way to express their ideas and
ideals. This kept me very close to a general audience who
generally knew nothing about the art found in galleries
or museums. Thanks to this link with an audience,

74 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 75


CREAT I V I T Y
C RE ATI VI TY

working with cities, schools, and explore our own personal psyche
other public entities, I came to and idiosyncrasies.
understand that the basic role of
a work of art is communication. Thanks to this public art
To be successful, the work has to orientation, my eyes were directed
please the client and myself on the toward the outside, toward other
conceptual and aesthetic levels. people and their ways of life,
This was the hardest part of public rather than looking inside. I was
art. first given many opportunities
to explore a culture different
Strangely, public art prepared me from mine in Réunion, where I
as an easel painter; I sensed that visited villages, spoke with people,
my mural and sculpture experience photographed their animals and
taught me to concentrate on their environment. For ten years, I
grand themes and pulled me to a worked on this theme.
situation where I was no longer
interested in my own personal Then I turned my eyes toward
trajectory, but with our shared India. Going from Réunion to
story. This is the opposite of what India, the light, the iconography,
we learned to do in art school the style of dress, the architecture
where we were encouraged to were all different; the range of
colors too. As a result, my painting
style changed completely. India has
provided a marvelous opportunity
to explore intense, highly saturated
color as well as the power,
compositional opportunities, and
opulence of drapery (thanks to the
women in their saris). The Indian
pantheon of gods and goddesses,
the intemporal landscapes and
temples, and the Indian people
provide an unending inspiration
for my paintings.

Artwork by KATHLEEN SCARBORO

76 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 77


CH I LDRE N

O
nce there lived a joyful if he was hungry. Now the young man thought he would meet his

The Power of Love


man called Julio and man was perplexed. end. Everyone knew the man
he helped anyone he He brought out his knife and he robbed and he would tattle.
could. He dropped people to his angry look again, and said, He was surprised when Julio
places without charging them, “Are you trying to pull a swifty? walked to a table, pulled a chair
he anonymously paid off people’s Because if you are…” for him and invited him to sit.
debts, and regularly bought food Julio smiled and said, “No, don’t Julio recommended his favorite
SARA BUBBER shares a story from AUDREY LIN of ServiceSpace, and then for homeless people. He played worry, I’m going to a restaurant. hot soup and asked the waiter to
offers us some reflective questions and an experiment to do for a month. games with young children and Come join me.” bring a couple of hot dishes for his
regaled them with stories. young friend. Stunned, the young
The man followed Julio to the man ate but really didn’t know
One night he was taking the restaurant and watched everyone what was happening.
Metro to his favorite restaurant, greet him joyfully. “Hello Julio!
and he and a young man were How are you today?” “Julio, I After a hearty meal, Julio asked
the last ones in the cabin. He thought I would catch up with him how his evening was.
reached his station and both got you, glad we met here!” The young
off the train. Julio began to walk
to the restaurant, eager to meet his
friends. Suddenly the young man
sprang in front of him, pointing
a knife at his stomach, and said
aggressively, “Stay quiet and hand
me your wallet.” Julio was a little
confused, but he took out his
wallet and handed it to the young
man. The young man maintained
his menacing look and pointed at
his beautiful gold watch, saying
“That too! Be quick.” Julio took
off his watch and gave it to the
young man.
Julio smiled, took off his jacket
and gave it to him, saying,
“Probably you are cold. Here,
please take this also.”
The young man was surprised, but
any gifts were welcome.

The young man was about to


disappear into the darkness of the
lonely street when Julio stopped
him. He put his hand on the
young man’s shoulder and asked

78 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 79


CHIL D R EN CH I LDRE N

The young man had no words. He


managed to splutter “excellent…
An experiment of love
warm food.”
Julio then said, “Now, I would be
happy to pay the cheque, but my Think of five people you love the most and write their names down.
wallet is with you.”
Tears streamed down the young
man’s face and he hugged Julio.
Out came the wallet, the gold
watch, and the coat, along with a
sheepish sorry. Julio gave the coat
back to him and said, “I think you
need this more than I do.”

The young man walked away into Now that you have identified the people you love the most, try to extend that feeling to a wider circle. It may
the darkness, whistling a lullaby be difficult to be like Julio and feel love and compassion for everyone, so this experiment from the Heartfulness
his mother had sung to him, and practices will help.
smiled, finally feeling warm in his
heart. At 9 p.m. every day, for 5 to 10 minutes, pause your activities and think that everyone is being filled with love
and devotion and that real faith is growing stronger in them.

Try it for a month and see what happens. Let the magic of these words unfold over time!

REFLECTION QUESTIONS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT

Do you think Julio inspired the young man to change his ways of harassing How do you feel?
and stealing?
Day 1

Day 7

Day 14
Had Julio been angry or frightened, what would have been the outcome?
Day 21

Day 28

Illustrations by LAKSHMI GADDAM

80 H eart f u l n es s Feb r uar y 2 024 81


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