you don't have to look good for people

you don't have to be perfect just

because other people want you to be
perfect
if your soul is perfect from within
that's all right this is all what you
want
this is all what you need to be our
society
has made
very weird
very weird kind of
norms to look perfect and great for men
it's different for women it's different
we think too much about what people say
we listen to ourselves too little
you know what makes you perfect
when you make someone smile
you know what makes you perfect
when you try to do something good for
the people around you you know what
makes you perfect when you feel
someone's pain
and how beautiful pain is that it
connects you with people
no other medium can connect you with
others but pain that's why i always say
that i'm in pain and that's the blessing
in disguise for me
if you think that your life is hard and
you're giving up on that because you
think your life is unfair
think again
because when you think that way you are
being unfair to your own self when you
share your story and it doesn't make you
cry
that means you have healed
the real happiness doesn't lie in
success
money
fame
it lies within
real happiness lies
in gratitude i believe in the power of
words
many people speak before they think but
i know the value of words the words can
make you break you they can heal your
soul they can damage you forever so i
always try to use the positive words in
my life wherever i go
they call it adversity i call it
opportunity they call it weakness i call
it strength
they call me disabled i call myself
differently able they see my disability
i see my ability
there are some incidents
that happen in your life and those
incidents are so strong
that they change your dna those
incidents or accidents are so strong
that they break you physically
they deform your body but they transform
your soul those incidents
break you
deform you
but they mold you into the best version
of you made people realize that
sometimes
problems are not too big
we are too small
because we cannot handle them we always
expect ease from life
we have this
amazing fantasy about life this is how
things should work this is my plan it
should go as per my plan
if that doesn't happen
we give up
so my dear friends let me tell you one
thing
i never wanted to be on the wheelchair
never thought of being on the wheelchair
i was always aspiring to do bigger
things but had no idea that for that i
have to pay the price to be where i am
today
it's a very heavy price
this life is a test and a trial and
tests our trials
are never supposed to be easy so when
you are expecting ease from life
and life gives you lemons then you make
the lemonade and then do not blame life
for that because you were expecting ease
from a trial
trials make you a stronger better person
it is okay to be scared
it is okay to cry
everything is okay but giving up should
not be an option
they always say that failure is not an
option failure should be an option
because when you fail
you get up and then you fail and then
you get up and that keeps you going
that's how humans are strong failure is
an option should be an option but giving
up is not
never we have this thing in mind we call
it perfection
we want everything perfect we want
ourselves to be perfect there is this
image in our head about everything
perfect life perfect relationships
perfect career perfect amount of money
that we need to earn no matter what
nothing is perfect in this world
we all are perfectly game perfect and
that is perfectly all right
that's all right we were sent here not
to become the perfect people
those people who tell you how to look
perfect even those people are imperfect
trying to fight this fear of looking
imperfect
in all those imperfections
you have to listen to your heart
we are all in pursuit of something in
life
some people chase fame
some people long to have more and more
money
some people wish to live a life with
endless joy
and some people
crave to have peace and contentment in
their heart
but somehow or the other
we are all in pursuit of something
and in this pursuit
we tend to forget to celebrate what we
have in this very moment
this beautiful gift of life
i received so many messages
so much love from all of you and so many
prayers
i also hear people saying
that we want money but walk again
we wish and pray that you walk someday
you stand
with your family and friends
come and i look at them
but deep inside i ask myself
is this something that i truly wish for
to be honest
because i have accepted myself the way i
am
i have made peace with the reality that
this wheelchair is my reality it's the
part of my body now and i'm totally fine
with it you must have heard a word or
maybe you must have read it somewhere
[Music]
disability
or a person with disability
being a wheelchair user myself
i don't believe in the word disability
or a disabled person
and i'll tell you why
every time i read this word somewhere or
if i hear it
i cringe a bit
because every time
if we put the word this with someone's
ability
we are knowingly or unknowingly
questioning their abilities
you see we live in a world which tends
to celebrate sameness
and let's be honest
this world is still trying to figure out
how to accept people who are unique
people who are differently able
so when we diss someone's abilities
it doesn't seem right
it doesn't sound polite
it doesn't sound respectful
so this word disability or a person with
disability does not exist in my
dictionary
let's delete it from our dictionaries
let's change the narrative
now is the time every step that i take
in my wheelchair and every word that i
will say
it's going to pave a path for those
who want to do something in life
people who have the courage and
resilience
to face the adversity
and also
it's going to pave the path for those
who are ambitious
life is a trial
every time you realize that i was 18
years old when i got married
and this thing i'm sharing for the very
first time on an international level i
was 18 years old when i got married
i belonged to a very conservative family
a beloved family where
good daughters never say known to their
parents
my father wanted me to get married
and all i said was if that makes you
happy i'll say yes and of course
it was never a happy marriage
just about after two years of getting
married
about nine years ago
i met a car accident
somehow my husband
fell asleep
and the car fell in the ditch
[Music]
he managed to jump out saved himself i'm
happy for him
but i stayed inside the car
and i sustained a lot of injuries the
list is a bit long don't get scared i'm
perfectly fine now
radius ulna of my right arm were
fractured
the wrist was
fractured
shoulder bone and collarbone were
fractured
my whole rib cage got fractured and
because of the rib cage injury
lungs and liver were badly injured
i couldn't breathe
i lost urine and bowel control that's
why i have to wear the bag wherever i go
[Music]
but that injury that changed me and my
life completely as a person and my
perception towards living my life
was the spine injury
three vertebrae of my backbone were
completely crushed
and i got paralyzed for the rest of my
life
one day doctor came to me
and he said well i heard that you wanted
to be an artist but you ended up being a
housewife i have a bad news for you
you won't be able to paint again
because your wrist and your arm are so
deformed you won't be able to hold the
pen again
and i stayed quiet
next day doctor came to me and said
your spine injury is so bad
you won't be able to walk again
i took a deep breath
and i said it's all right
the red state doctor came to me and said
because of your spine injury and the
fixation that you have in your back
you won't be able to give birth to a
child again
[Music]
that day i was devastated
i still remember
i asked my mother
why me
and that is where i started to question
my existence why am i even alive
what's the point of living
i cannot walk i cannot paint fine i
cannot be a mother
and we have this thing in our heads
being women that we are incomplete
without
having children
i am going to be an incomplete woman for
the rest of my life what's the point
people are scared they think i will get
divorced
what is going to happen to me
why me why am i
alive we all try to chase this tunnel we
all do this because we see light in the
end of the tunnel which keeps us going
my dear friends in my situation there
was a tunnel
that i had to roll on but there was no
light
and that is
where i realized that the words have the
power to heal the soul
my mother said to me
[Music]
this too shall pass
god has a greater plan for you i don't
know what it is
but he surely has
i was discharged
and i went back home
and i went back home and i realized that
i have developed a lot of pressure
ulcers on my back and on my hip bone i
was unable to sit
there were a lot of infections in my
body a lot of allergies so doctors
wanted me to lie down on the bed
straight
for not six months
for not one year
for two years
i was bedridden
confined in that one room
looking outside the
window listening to the birds chirping
and thinking maybe there will be a time
when we'll be going out with the family
and enjoying the nature
that was the time where i realized
how lucky people are
but they don't realize
there are always turning points in your
life
there was a rebirth day that i
celebrated
[Music]
after two years and two and a half
months when i
was able to sit on a wheelchair
that was the day when i had the rebirth
i was a completely different person i
still remember the day i sat on the
wheelchair for the first time knowing
that i'm never going to leave this
knowing that i won't be able to walk for
the rest of my life
i saw myself in the mirror and i talked
to myself
and i still remember what i said
i cannot wait for a miracle to come and
make me walk
i cannot sit in the corner of the room
crying cribbing and begging for mercy
because nobody has time so i have to
accept myself the way i am the sooner
the better and that day i decided that
i'm going to live life for myself
i am not going to
be that perfect person for someone i am
just going to take this moment and i
will make it perfect for myself
and you know how it all began
that day i decided that i'm going to
fight my fears
we all have fears
fear of unknown fear of known
fear of losing people
fear of losing help money
we want to excel in career we want to
become famous we want to get money we
are scared all the time
so i wrote down one by one all those
fears
and i decided that i'm going to overcome
these fears one at a time you know when
you end up being on the wheelchair
what's the most painful thing
that's another fear that people on the
wheelchair the people who are
differently able have in their hearts
but they never share i'll share that
with you
the lack of acceptance
people think that they will not be
accepted by other people because we
in the world of perfect people are
imperfect you all are thriving in your
careers you have bigger dreams and
aspirations in life always remember one
thing on the road to success
there is always we
not me
do not think that you alone can achieve
things no
there is always another person who is
standing behind you
maybe not coming on the forefront but
behind you praying for you and
supporting you
never lose that person
never when you think your glass is half
empty come on your glass is half full
it's all in here and here there are so
many people in the world
who are dreaming to live a life that you
are living right now you have no idea
embrace each and every breath that you
are taking celebrate your life
live it
don't die before your death
we all die we live this one routine of a
day for 75 years and we call it life no
that's not life
if you're still thinking why you have
been sent here if you're still juggling
with the concept of why you are here
you haven't lived yet
you work hard you make money
you do it for yourself that's not life
you go out you seek for people who need
your help you make their lives better
you become that sponge which can absorb
all the negativity and you become that
person who can emit
beautiful positive vibes and when you
realize that you have changed someone's
life and because of you
this person didn't give up
that is the day
when you live
always
we were talking about gratitude
why i smile all the time
i cry all night when nobody sees me
because i'm a human and i have to keep
the balance
and i smile all day because i know that
if i will smile
i can make people smile that keeps me
going be grateful for what you have
[Music]
and you will always always end up having
more
but if you'll cry and if you'll for
the little things that you don't have or
the things that you have lost
you will never ever have enough
sometimes we are too busy thinking about
the things that we don't have that we
forget to cherish the blessings that we
have i'm not saying that i'm not healthy
and that makes me
unlucky
but yes
it is hard
it is hard when i say that i cannot walk
it is hard to say when i wear this bag
it hurts
but i have to keep going because never
giving up
is the way to live
always
live your life fully
accept yourself the way you are be kind
to yourself
be kind to yourself i'll repeat be kind
to yourself and only then you can be
kind to others
love yourself and spread that love
life will be hard there will be turmoils
there will be trials but that will only
make you stronger
never give up
the real happiness
doesn't lie in money or success
or fame
i have this all i never wanted this
real happiness lies
in gratitude
so be grateful be alive and live every
moment today just because i'm in pain
and i'm on the wheelchair
i work for children
being the head of csr for a company
we conduct medical camps in far-flung
areas of pakistan where
so many kids die because they don't have
medical facilities
and i personally believe just because
they cannot afford to live doesn't mean
we'll let them die
so we give them money we give them
medical treatment
we try to heal their
wounds
physical and emotional
and i also work for
the beautiful people
we call them third gender
the transgender community of pakistan
you know what connects me with them all
my imperfections when i go and i hug
them they never judge me
and this very good friend of mine her
name is bijli she calls herself
electricity and i said are you
electricity she says no i'm lightening
i'm as strong as lightning because we
have very bad power outage so she
doesn't want me to call her electricity
so she says i am very strong i am
thunder i'm lightning
she came to me and the first time i
hugged her she said
you are just like me
and i said yes i am like you
because to people we are
so
imperfect so how beautiful these
imperfections are that because of these
imperfections you can connect with
people then why are we all running after
being perfect
what's the point every time i go in
public i always smile
it's always a big toothy smile on my
face and people ask me don't you get
tired of smiling all the time what's the
secret i always say one thing
that i have stopped worrying about the
things that i have lost the people that
i've lost
things and people who were meant to be
with me are with me
and sometimes somebody's absence make
you a better person
cherish their absence
it's always it's always a blessing in
disguise
i always say that people are so lucky
they don't even realize you must be
thinking
okay you're lucky in what sense well the
breath that you just took
was a blessing
embrace it don't invest yourself
in the wrong people because when you
invest yourself in the wrong people
they break you into pieces that torn you
apart in such a way that it takes years
and years to get back together
and also i'll tell her that while you're
busy making amazing plans in your life
my dear prepare yourself for worse
because life
is so unpredictable
just be prepared we all tend to invest
ourselves in relationships and as i said
if you are doing something right with
the wrong person nothing good will turn
out
and deep inside we women are quite
intuitive we know that it's not going
anywhere it's okay to be on your own
you are stronger than you think
don't worry about that
and wait for the right person let the
right person come to you
there's no rush
are you in a good relationship with
yourself
do you love your own company
if you are miserable alone
i'm sorry
your partner will be miserable with you
so we need to understand
that we need to love our own company
only then people will love to enjoy our
company too
and don't rush
wait for the right person
because if it's meant to be
it will be who is on social media who's
using facebook
everyone
have you ever put your relationship
status complicated my relationship with
myself
before i was here was so complicated it
was all about
people it was never about me
there was no me anywhere
you see
people's pleasure
the person who just wants to make
everyone happy knowing
that's not worth it
you just keep doing it keep doing it and
yes
your relationship eventually with
yourself becomes complicated
and then now
i don't know where there are people
around me or not
but i'm me now
i'm more me now time is a beautiful
teacher
it filters out the extras from your life
including people
being in the wheelchair in 12 years i've
met three categories of people
number one category is of the people who
see you in the misery in pain
and they back off
they're like
we are gone
we can't handle i respect them for their
honesty
then there is another category of the
people
who are not there with you but they just
want to cling on with you all the time
they're so weak
that they try to stay in your shadow
liberate yourself from those people
because they are toxic for you don't let
them cling on to you
because they're not there to help you
liberate them liberate yourself
and then there is third category
these beautiful people who are so
selfless
that when they see you in pain
they stand next to you
they've got your back they don't share
the limelight they're just there for you
these are your people
value them
so yes there are three categories of
people try to surround yourself with
those who are real and you will feel
real i pity those
who see their failure in your success
you know
these critics
they were once dreamers they just wanted
to achieve something
that today you have
but they gave up and they started
becoming jealous of you pray for them
because they're in a lot of pain i've
never claimed to be strong all the time
i'm one of those few people who have
always acknowledged vulnerability
because when we are vulnerable we are
humans there are days when i don't feel
like getting up in the morning there are
days when i don't feel like sitting in
the wheelchair and face the world but
then what i do is like i make sure that
i don't sulk in that negativity you see
we're humans and there are days when we
fall when we when we break when we fail
and then there are days when we rise
when we heal ourselves and then we try
again and again and again and we try not
to give up and all this journey all that
process of falling and getting back up
defines our journey and defines who we
are i want to be remembered
as an empath
somebody who just didn't say that i feel
your pain but i want people to see that
when i say this
i mean it
and as far as my life story is concerned
i don't know how my story will end
maybe it will never end
but yes nowhere in my text
the world will ever read i gave up
[Music]
have you watched tangled
tangled rapunzel her journey how she
comes out of confinement for the first
time she goes out and see the world
awaits her
you know what that song
i see the light
it reminds me of the times when i was
bedridden i used to hear
the kids playing outside i couldn't see
i used to hear thunderclap i couldn't
see the storms i used to hear
rain falling on the ground i couldn't
see it and i missed it but when i sat in
the wheelchair i stepped out went close
to the nature everything changed
whatever i've been through whatever i've
experienced all the mistakes that i've
made all the adventures that i've
experienced in my life have shaped me
into
this person that i am today and i'm so
blessed and i'm
i feel really really honored to have
lived that life a life full of childs
turmoils pain betrayals
success failure and
it has shaped me probably into the best
version of me so it's a blessing and i
wouldn't want to change even a single
thing about my life i think it's not
about dealing with the negative comments
it's about dealing with negativity in
general and
the best way to deal with negativity is
to avoid it or ignore it i know it's not
easy sometimes i know it hurts you
but thinking of those who are giving
those negative comments i really pray
for them because probably they
couldn't achieve what they wanted to and
when they see you growing and thriving
in life
it creates more negativity and
bitterness in them that's why i say pray
for those who see their failure in your
success it takes a lot of courage it
takes a lot of
energy to hate someone and those who
hate people are already living a
miserable life so you know we all should
pray for them and should move on it's a
huge responsibility
titles like
she's inspirational or she's the iron
lady
sometimes
these titles weigh you down you know i
always say that just because whatever
i'm left with if i'm managing to carry
it with grace does not mean it's not
heavy it is heavy
you know life
happens every day
there are
so many highs and as many lows and
sometimes we are not 110
but also when people look at me and they
call me an inspiration it's really
really overwhelming it's also humbling
and i really feel blessed but at the
same time it's really scary the best way
to stay positive and to be contented is
the attitude of gratitude that's the key
you know i read this beautiful quote
somewhere which says that i've never
seen
a bitter person who is grateful and a
grateful person who is bitter so be
grateful
i know there are times when you don't
feel like being grateful there are times
when you want to question why where when
how but there is always always something
to be grateful for you know i have lost
so much in life
what i have gained so far
is way beyond what i have lost so every
time when i think of what i have
i'm more grateful i'm more contented and
i'm more happy
so if you really want to be happy and if
you want to live a fulfilled life make
sure that your heart is full of crap i
remember those remarks those remarks
have left scars on my soul and it's
really hard to heal them
so
those remarks had two different extremes
the first extreme was i heard people
saying oh she's too pretty to be in the
wheelchair and the other extreme was oh
she must have done something wrong and
that's her punishment that's why she
ended up in the wheelchair for the rest
of her life you know and those were
really painful remarks even now when
people ask me that when we look at
someone who is differently abled what
should we say
how are we supposed to talk to them and
i always tell them
why is it important to say something all
the time
can we just don't stare at them can we
just look at them and smile and move on
i think that's the best way to do it
let's practice silence more
because when we speak
we probably don't
don't think and i have made peace with
the fact that most of the people don't
think before they speak so yes those
remarks were hurtful they still are but
in last 12 years i've learned to be more
patient and more forgiving betrayal
itself is very painful and when people
hide their betrayal
that hurts even more
but
if you have experienced betrayal in life
we all have all i would like to say is
that look at yourself in the mirror and
tell yourself that you certainly deserve
better so just straighten your crown
[Music]
you
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