A Guy I Might Kinda Be Into

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/14860178.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry, Charlie Dalton/Steven Meeks
Characters: Neil Perry, Todd Anderson, Charlie Dalton, Knox Overstreet, Steven
Meeks, Gerard Pitts, Richard Cameron, Original Male Character(s), Mr.
Perry (Dead Poets Society), Mr. Nolan (Dead Poets Society) mentioned
Additional Tags: the beginning few chapters won't discuss much of the fake relationship, i
ask that you please be patient with me and with this story, it will get
there i promise!, Angst with a Happy Ending, mentions of fighting,
Abusive Exes, possible ooc moments for todd, Fake/Pretend
Relationship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past
Abuse, Minor Character Death (not one of the guys), Discussions of
death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Violence, Recreational Drug
Use, Aromantic Character
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2018-06-06 Completed: 2021-08-07 Words: 82,070 Chapters:
43/43
 A Guy I Might Kinda Be Into
by deathbysandblk

Summary

While at a party, Neil spots someone who looks like he's in need of help so he jumps in and
pretends to be his boyfriend. But when exactly did he stop pretending and why can't he get
the thought of Todd Anderson out of his head?

Notes

Hello and welcome to this wild ride that will be this fic. I am really excited about it because I
think this is the first multi-chaptered fic I am posting for this fandom.

There are a couple people I would like to thank for helping me get this chapter to where I
wanted it to be. Those people are @desertrosetico and @shpevrythng on tumblr. Both read
over my chapter and helped me fix a few things and @shpevrythng helped me with a couple
rewrites of sentences!

I really hope you enjoy this fic! I welcome all comments, critiques or otherwise!

(title is from "A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into" from Be More Chill)

I also have a playlist I will be adding to for this fic! Here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnuMeMuIGojzjL5XUFXVsWBCIz1ARbtlp
 Give Me Your Hands If We Be Friends

There’s a party tonight. We’re going,” said Charlie upon slamming open the door to Neil’s
room and walking right in, a habit of his.

“Oh, I’m not going,” Neil declared.

“Neil, Neil, Neil, notice how what I said before wasn’t a question. You’re going to that party
tonight!”

“Char, you know how I feel about parties and you also know how my father would react if he
found out.”

Charlie sat down across from him on the bed, giving him a look of disapproval.

“C’mon, Neil! You’ve got to have some fun sometime! Besides, you don’t really want to
spend your whole life making decisions based on how your father would feel if he found out,
do you?”

Neil sighed. “It’s not that simple, Charlie.”

“So make it that simple, Neil! Your father won’t find out, and even if he does, so what? At
least you would be able to cross ‘doing something reckless’ off your bucket list. You can’t
live your life afraid, in fact, I wouldn’t really call that living at all. Now, go take a shower and
get dressed in something nice. Who knows, maybe you’ll lose it,” Charlie said, waggling his
eyebrows.

“Lose what? Charlie, what are you talking about?”

Charlie stared at him as if he was the dumbest person for not understanding.

It took him a second, but the true meaning of what Charlie was saying dawned on him and
Neil made a face and said,

“Ohhhh, no thank you. I’m okay.”

“I kid, I kid, that can stay, but you are going to the party. We leave within the hour!”

Neil rolled his eyes, flopped back onto his bed, and tried to continue what he was doing
before (reading the next chapter for Chemistry), but he just could not regain the same level of
focus he had pre-Charlie’s interruption. He loved Charlie, he really did-the two of them had
been best friends since their first days at Welton-but sometimes Charlie just did not
understand.

It made him nervous thinking about all the scenarios that could turn out poorly if he went to
this party. Having strict parents will do that to a person. They get into your head and then
every decision is overanalyzed to the point where the safest option is chosen and usually that
safest option involves staying cozied up in your room studying Chemistry instead of doing
anything remotely fun.

Still pondering his dilemma, Neil hopped into the shower. It would be nice to meet some new
people, he thought. Not that he didn’t love his friends or anything like that, but he did see
them every day. The prospect of meeting new people, hearing about what gets them out of
bed in the morning, what drives them to be who they are, interested him though. Maybe he
would go, meet some new people, and then leave? Would simply making an appearance at
the party be enough to satisfy Charlie?...No. He knew Charlie wouldn’t be happy until he was
drunk off his ass or getting felt up by a stranger.

Neil was feeling very frustrated as he stepped out of the shower. His thought process was
always this way when trying to make a decision and he hated it. Finally, he asked himself an
important question: “if my father wasn’t an obstacle, would I want to go to this party?” and
he knew as soon as it popped into his head that the answer was yes.

He was just finishing getting ready when Charlie barged in the door. Charlie took one look at
Neil and his jaw dropped.

“W-what? Why are you staring at me like that? Should I wear something else?”

Charlie approached Neil and put a finger to his lips, shushing him.

“Neil Perry, don’t you even think about changing out of those clothes! I’ve never seen you
look finer in my life and that’s coming from someone who sees your gorgeous face every
damn day!”

“Uhh, thank you?” said Neil, still unsure of himself.

“I’m honestly shocked you’re ready to go. I thought you would give me trouble and I’d have
to drag you out of this room kicking and screaming.”

“I’ve decided you were right before-,” Charlie raised his eyebrows and smirked at him.

“Not about the implication that I would lose my virginity! Char, do you ever think about
anything but sex?!”

“Yes, but not often. Anyway, you were saying something about me being right?”

“Yeah so anyway, I’ve decided I want to go to this party and nothing is going to stop me!”

“Excellent! Then let’s get going, wouldn’t want us to miss all the fun!”

As it turned out, the party was only a few blocks away and so Charlie decided they were
going to walk instead of hitching a ride with the others. Neil wasn’t too bothered by this, the
scenery around campus was gorgeous so at least they had things to look at while they walked.

“You mentioned others, Charlie, who else is going?”

“You know, the usual’s, Pitts, Knox, Cameron, and Meeks.”

“Oh, Meeks is going? I thought he had to study.”

“He, like you, took a little convincing, but decided to choose my delightful company over the
company of several hundred-year-old books.”

“Char, have you said anything to him, about, you know, how you feel?”

Charlie stopped walking and stared Neil down,

“Perry, I know that you think I was too drunk to remember telling you that, but I know for a
fact we agreed to never bring that up again.”

“You agreed! I never did! And I just asked because I care about you and want you to be
happy!”

“We’re not discussing this anymore, so don’t say another word about it.”

“Fine. So Cameron’s coming too?” asked Neil in what could be described as an extremely
whiny tone.

“You try getting anything past that weasel. He heard about the plan and invited himself. Yeah,
I know it’s not nice to exclude people, but damn, that guy is the worst!”

The two continued their walk to the party location. Stopping just outside the house, Charlie
put his hands on Neil’s shoulders and said,

“Good luck in there, Perry.”

“Wait, good luck? Are you leaving me?”

“Well, yeah! How else are you gonna meet new people?”

“Char, wait!” said Neil, but it was too late. He had no choice but to take a deep breath and go
inside.
 A Stare That Pounds My Brain
Chapter Summary

Neil's experience at the party takes an interesting turn.

Chapter Notes

Hello, hello! Here is Chapter 2! I wasn't really happy with this chapter after I wrote it. I
felt like something was missing or wrong with it somehow, but thanks to my betas
@shpevrythng and @desertrosetico I no longer feel that way! I hope you enjoy this
chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts, feelings, etc about it when you are finished
reading!!!

Neil wasn’t sure he had made the right decision in coming here upon entering the party. The
amount of things happening right when he walked through the door were a bit overwhelming
to him. Two people were playing catch with what appeared to be a very expensive-looking
lamp (one of the those two people was also wearing the lampshade on their head as a hat),
one person was being cheered on by a crowd of people to chug from the keg, and,
unsurprisingly, couples were making out everywhere. Not wanting to get wrapped up into any
of that, Neil tried to find where the drinks were kept at. It took a few minutes to get through
the crowds of people in various areas in the house, but he managed to find the drink area.

Hoping alcohol would help him feel better about this whole situation, he took a look at the
selection. There was a lot of the harder alcohol, of course, but he was a bit relieved to see that
there were also some wine coolers. Charlie had purchased some of those before and Neil had
tried them then. He definitely wanted to stick with something he was already familiar with so
he grabbed one and opened it. He sipped at his drink and took a look around, desperately
trying to find a place away from all of the craziness. Wandering around, he found himself in a
game room where a couple people were playing pool. Much to Neil’s relief, this room was
significantly quieter and so he took a seat. He knew Charlie would be disappointed in him.
He hadn’t even tried to speak to anyone new. He had only just gotten there, though, there was
still time for mingling.

He finished off the drink in his hand and went to find another. He was already starting to feel
a bit buzzed and he felt calmer being in this party environment. He decided maybe he would
play a round of pool. The people playing noticed him getting closer and asked him if he
wanted to play. When he told them he did, they started over. Neil thought that was very nice
of them, but overall, the game was kind of awkward. The two people playing were obviously
very close friends and Neil just felt out of place there. After the round was over, Neil excused
himself to get another drink and ran into Charlie.

“Having fun, Neil?”

“I actually am, Charlie. How about you?”

“I’m having a great time! Wait a second, Perry, have you only been drinking wine coolers this
whole time?”

“Yeah...what’s wrong with that.”

“Well nothing, I just think you should do a shot with me!”

Neil figured what the hell, it’s not like he had to be anywhere tomorrow and said,

“Okay, Charlie, but just one.”

Charlie agreed to those terms and poured a shot for himself and Neil. They did the shots
together and then Charlie said,

“Oh, hey, there’s a friend of mine across the room! I’m gonna go say hi! I’ll catch up with
you later, okay?”

Neil nodded and just decided to return to the quiet of the gaming room for now.

He had just returned to his seat from before when he heard a loud commotion. He was,
admittedly, annoyed. Why did people have to come and make a scene in the only quiet room?

Since they were so loud, Neil couldn’t help but overhear the conversation.

“Grant, get away from me!”

“Todd, I just want to talk!”

“No, I don’t want to talk to you! You’ve hurt me for the last time!”

Neil felt bad for the boy called Todd. He seemed to be pretty upset. But Neil didn’t want to
interfere. Todd appeared to have everything under control. Instead of listening, Neil focused
on Todd’s appearance and how he felt when he looked at him. His sandy blonde hair looked
easily thrown together, but Neil was sure he had spent some time on it. Neil noticed how
expressive Todd’s eyes were, especially since they showed his anger at the other guy whose
name wasn’t really all that important to Neil anyway.

Todd appeared to be the tiniest bit shorter than Neil, but if he saw Todd standing next to
Charlie he would appear way shorter. Neil knew he shouldn’t be staring, but he just couldn’t
help it. Looking at Todd made him feel something. Something he hadn’t really ever felt
before. Like he had to get to know Todd. Maybe after Todd finished fighting with that other
guy, he would go up and introduce himself.
Snapping out of his thoughts and back into reality, Neil noticed that Todd looked really
uncomfortable and like he was about to start crying. Neil knew he had to do something and
fast!

He began to make his way over to where Todd was standing, keeping a close eye on the
confrontation the entire time. He felt rage inside his gut when he noticed the other guy
grabbing onto Todd’s arm.

His very new and sudden urge to protect Todd from harm mixed with the alcohol in his
system caused Neil to do what he did next.

“Hey, pal! Get off of my boyfriend!”

The guy appeared to grab on tighter to Todd upon this realization. “You have a boyfriend,
Todd? Is this true?”

Todd whimpered and nodded.

“Let. Him. Go,” snarled Neil. “Now or I’ll-”

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it, pretty boy?” the asshole interrupted.

“I’m-I’m gonna fight you, of course!” Neil stupidly yelled.

The other guy, whose name Neil still wasn’t bothered to remember, laughed and said,

“I’d like to see you try!”

Neil swung his arm and stumbled over a table, landing hard on his ass. He felt very
disoriented. He knew that he had gotten himself into deep trouble, but he didn’t quite know
how to get out of it.

He had only barely heard who he assumed to be Todd yelling, “Look out!” before there was a
lot of pain and then darkness.

***

As soon as he opened his eyes, he regretted it. The headache that had started to form
combined with pain all over his body made regaining consciousness a really bad time. He
wasn’t quite sure what had happened to cause him to be in so much pain, but he desperately
wanted it to stop. Maybe if he just closed his eyes again, everything would be alright.

He was going to do just that when he heard a very faint voice say,

“Oh, you’re awake! Thank goodness!”

Neil turned his head to look at the person who had just uttered those words and immediately
regretted doing so. Everything hurt, he wasn’t sure what was happening, and he just wanted
to sleep. If this is what going to a party was like, Charlie could count him out for next time.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll move closer so you can see me.”

The person speaking to him came into view and as soon as he saw him, he somewhat
remembered how he came to be in this situation.

The boy looked extremely nervous and opened his mouth to speak several times, but quickly
closed it again, as if debating whether or not he should say whatever was on his mind.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I, it’s hard for me to put everything I’m feeling into words right now,” said Todd, who was
bashfully looking at the ground.

Neil really felt for the guy. Seeing how obviously shy he was tugged at his heartstrings. He
didn’t want to interrupt or make him uncomfortable, so he just laid there since it still hurt to
move, and waited for Todd to speak again.

“I, I’m really grateful for what you did for me. You’re a complete stranger. You could’ve just
sat by and watched our fight, but you stepped in and you defended me and I, I just can’t thank
you enough. And I’m really sorry for how badly Grant hurt you. To be honest, it’s even worse
watching it happen to someone else.”

At these words, realization sunk in for Neil. The thought that someone like Todd who seemed
so kind was being badly abused made Neil feel sick to his stomach.

He barely had any time to react before he was getting sick. Luckily, Todd thought quickly
and grabbed a trash can that was nearby. Feeling sweaty, disgusting, and still in an immense
amount of pain, Neil laid back down on the couch somebody, he suspected Todd, had moved
him to.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Neil mumbled weakly, barely able to get the words out.

“You should probably go to the ER and get your injuries looked at. Is there someone I can
call who could help me get you there?”

“I don’t need to go to the ER! I’m fine, really,” said Neil, unconvincingly.

Todd gave him a concerned look and said,

“You are not fine. Take it from someone who knows.”

“Grant’s not still here, is he?”

“Oh no, he was kicked out once some people were able to pull him off of you,” Todd said
with a guilty look on his face.

“It’s not your fault, Todd.”

“You know my name?” asked Todd.

“Yes. I heard a bit of your argument before I stepped in.”

“Oh right. Well, do I get to know the name of my brave hero?” asked Todd, seeming a lot
surer of himself than he had before. The way he said it, Neil was almost certain he was
flirting…but he told himself not to be absurd. A guy like Todd wouldn’t be flirting with him.
Especially in his current messy state.

“My name is Neil. And about your question from before, I came here with my best friend
Charlie Dalton. He should be here still. He could probably help you get me to the ER. If he’s
too drunk, ask for Steven Meeks. He usually doesn’t drink much.”

“Okay, well, I will go try to find them. Will you be alright here by yourself?”

“Yep. It’s not like I can go anywhere.”

Neil’s head was swimming. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol still undoubtedly
in his system, the injuries he had sustained on his head, or the cute boy he had stepped in to
help. He decided he would just rest his eyes for a little bit…
 That Guy Could Eat a Football
Chapter Summary

Charlie's POV this chapter!

Chapter Notes

This is my favorite chapter of this fic so far! I had a great time writing it and I hope you
all have a great time reading it!

As always, thanks to my wonderful betas @desertrosetico and @shpevrythng for

helping me with this story!

Comments, criticism, or input are always welcome!

*Charlie’s POV*

Charlie hadn’t had much to drink at this party which was rather unusual for him. Part of him
felt that because Meeks wasn’t drinking, he shouldn’t either. He would never admit this,
especially not to Neil, but he didn’t want to act like a drunken fool in front of Meeks and he
certainly didn’t want to annoy him with his typical drunken antics.

Meeks was telling him all about his idea for a project at school, but Charlie was having a
hard time focusing on his words because he was too busy trying to keep himself from staring.
Luckily, Meeks seemed totally oblivious which was a total relief to Charlie. Charlie Dalton
didn’t show his true feelings, what would people say? In showing his feelings, he would be at
the mercy of others and such a prospect was an abhorrent one to Charlie. He answered to no
one, he relied on no one, he trusted few, and he wasn’t at a place where he was willing for
that to change.

In the distance, he saw a boy frantically searching for something. He watched as the boy
walked up to someone and asked them,

“Have you seen a Charlie Dalton?”

Charlie stared at the boy, trying to figure out how he knew his name. He was absolutely
certain he had never seen this boy before. What could he want?
Seeing no easier way to find out than to simply ask him, Charlie walked up to the boy who
was asking people about him and said,

“I heard you were looking for Charlie Dalton?”

The boy’s eyes grew wide and he nodded eagerly.

“Have you seen him?!” he asked.

“I am Charlie Dalton. Why were you asking around about me? Do I know you?”

“N-n-no,” the boy stammered, seeming extremely nervous.

Charlie was used to this. He knew the way he carried himself intimidated others, but he did it
for his own protection. He didn’t want to let his guard down, not for a second, not for fear of
letting the wrong person in.

“I, I’m sorry about this, but your friend Neil asked me to come looking for you.”

Charlie softened the slightest bit upon hearing Neil’s name.

“Oh, you know Neil?”

“B-barely. We only just met. But, anyway, he asked me to come get you because I need help
getting him to the emergency room.”

Charlie kept his cool, but inside he was starting to panic. Emergency room? What happened
to Neil? Did he drink too much? Will he be alright? He had so many questions, but he didn’t
want to bombard this obviously nervous new acquaintance of Neil’s so instead he jumped
into action saying,

“Take me to him.”

The boy led Charlie to a couch in the game room where Neil was laying. He looked awful.
He was all bruised and beaten up. Charlie turned to the boy and asked,

“What happened to him?”

“I-it w-was my fault,” the boy said, visibly upset and looking like he was going to start
crying at any moment.

Charlie wasn’t quite sure what to make of the boy’s admission of guilt. He didn’t know
whether to be angry or sympathetic. Seeing the state the boy was already in, he chose the
latter.

“I’m sure it’s not entirely your fault. Just please, tell me what happened.”

Charlie listened as the boy gave a detailed description of everything that had transpired.

The boy finished relaying what had happened by saying,

“I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” Todd broke down sobbing after
relaying everything to Charlie.

Charlie bent down beside him, not really sure of how to comfort him.

“Hey, now, don’t cry. Neil will be alright, don’t worry.”

Not only was Charlie saying those words to comfort Todd, he also was saying them to
reassure himself. To his knowledge, Neil had never gotten this hurt before. Like the boy,
Charlie was also feeling guilty, but mainly because he made Neil come to this party.

The two stood in silence while Todd regained his composure. When he had calmed down
Charlie said,

“Let me go get Meeks. He’s the one with the car. We’ll get Neil to the ER, but then I think
you and I and my other friends need to have a talk.”

Charlie knew he should’ve probably worded that last statement better. It probably sounded
threatening to an already nervous person, but Charlie didn’t mean anything malicious by it.
He just wanted more detail about the boy, his ex, and how Neil got hurt.

When Charlie told Meeks Neil was hurt and needed to go to the emergency room, Meeks
didn’t even hesitate, he just left immediately to bring the car around. He enlisted the help of
Pitts and Knox to help carry the still unconscious Neil. Having those two plus the boy-
Charlie made a note to learn his name-and himself made carrying Neil pretty easy.

Meeks, of course, drove and Pitts and Knox shared the front seat. Charlie and the boy sat on
opposite sides of Neil in the back seat.

“So, before we talk about the situation, what’s your name?”

“T-Todd Anderson.”

“Anderson. I know that name. Are you, by chance, related to Jeffrey?”

“Yes. He’s my older brother.”

“He attended Welton, how come you’re not also?”

“I’m at Balincrest currently, but I think my parents plan to send me to Welton as well. To be
honest, I’m not really sure what’s the hold up with that.”

Charlie continued questioning Todd about his personal life, wanting Todd to be able to warm
up to him. He felt bad for scaring Todd. He knew he blamed himself for this mess, but
Charlie wanted to show him he didn’t blame him and that he held no resentment toward him.

They got to the ER and Meeks went to park while the rest of them carried Neil in. They were
asked some basic questions about how he sustained his injuries and then Neil was hauled
away on a gurney.
Charlie took the lead on speaking to the nurses. He wasn’t told much, seeing as how he
wasn’t related to Neil, but the nurse did inform him that they would be trying to get ahold of
Neil’s parents as soon as possible.

If Charlie knew anything at all, which he liked to think he did, he knew he couldn’t let them
do that. Thinking quickly, he developed a plan.

“I’m his best friend, I can make things easier for you! Here’s their number!”

Of course, he didn’t give her the Perrys’ actual number, but she didn’t know that. She smiled
and said,

“Thank you so much! You have been very helpful!”

“Happy to help! I do have a question for you, though. Will we, meaning my friends and I, be
able to see him?”

“They’re still running tests right now, but maybe when he wakes up, you will be able to.
Now, if you excuse me, I’ve got a phone call to make.”

Charlie went back to where Pitts and Knox were sitting.

“Knox, take a stroll with me, will ya?”

“Stroll? What the hell are you talking about, Charlie?”

Charlie just grabbed his hand and said,

“I’ll explain in a bit.”

They walked a fair distance from the main entrance and then Charlie stopped and said,

“You should be getting a call from the hospital any minute now. I moved us away so the
nurse wouldn’t hear you. I need you to do exactly as I say. When you get the phone call, pick
it up, and act as if you are Mr. Perry. Express how upset you are to hear that your son is in the
hospital, but explain that you and the missus are out of town and won’t be back for a few
days. Find out anything and everything you can about his current condition and then request
they give you a call and keep you updated with any major news.”

“Charlie, I, I can’t do that! I-,”

“Knox, I need you to! She’s already spoken to me so she knows what I sound like, but she
hasn’t talked to you yet. Please, Knox, do this for Neil! Who knows what would happen if his
parents actually found out about this.”

“Okay. I’ll do it, but I’m still nervous about it.”

After Knox got off the phone with everything seemingly having gone well, Charlie asked him
what, if anything, they told him about Neil.
“The doctor I spoke to, it wasn’t the nurse by the way, indicated that Neil has a concussion
and also a broken rib which is most likely what was causing him the most pain.”

“Has he woken up yet?”

“No, but they seemed to think he would soon. They also said there’s not a lot they can really
do to help a broken rib. It heals by itself so it’ll be painful for him for a while.”

“Did they say how long he’d have to be here?”

“I think that depends on when he wakes up.”

Charlie wasn’t too thrilled with that answer, but he was grateful to Knox for doing such a
great job getting this information.

“Let’s go find Todd. I have a couple more questions for him and we should probably tell him
what we know.”

Knox and Charlie returned to the waiting area and Todd came up to them shaking.

“Todd, what’s wrong?”

“T-they want to know if w-we want to press ch-charges against Grant.”

On one hand, Charlie would love to do such a thing, to punish the guy who had done this to
his best friend, but on the other hand, it would draw a lot of attention to what had happened
to Neil and they had worked so hard to not involve his parents. If they pressed charges, news
might spread to Welton, to the administration, or even worse, to Neil’s parents. Then they’d
all be in very deep trouble. Besides, Todd looked positively fear-stricken with the idea.

Charlie said, “Ultimately, it’s up to Neil, but if it were my decision, I’d say no. I have ways of
getting revenge and this way, things happen my way. Who’d you say this guy was again,
Todd?”

“His name is Grant Booth. He and I dated…not my proudest moment.”

As soon as he heard the name, Charlie looked up at Todd.

“Grant Booth, you said?”

Todd merely nodded.

“I’ve heard of that asshole. I heard he was in jail for a while, but got out for ‘good behavior’.
If you ask me, he got out because his parents bailed him out.”

“So anyway, did you find out anything about Neil?” asked Todd, quickly changing the
subject which did not go unnoticed to Charlie. He really didn’t like to talk about Grant, he
guessed.
Meeks finally met up with them then and the boys all stayed talking, trying to pass the time,
hoping they would get to hear more about Neil. Charlie had, of course, informed them about
what he knew, but it had been hours at this point so anything about his condition could have
changed and they would be none the wiser.

Meeks offered to drive Pitts and Knox back to Welton. Nolan was in Europe recruiting new
of the “finest” to teach at Welton and the assistant principal was not nearly as strict as he.
Charlie wasn’t really worried about being discovered out of bed. He had more important
things to worry about. Todd decided to stay with him. It was nice having company even if
that company was super puzzling to him.

Charlie had just finished telling Todd about “Hell-ton hash” when the nurse came to speak to
them.

“He’s awake and you may see him now if you wish.”

Were it allowed to run in a hospital, Charlie would’ve ran towards him, but he kept his cool,
and walking side-by-side with Todd, went to see Neil.
 Travesty. Horror. Decadence. Excrement.
Chapter Summary

Neil wakes up in the hospital and talks to a police officer, the doctor, and, of course,
Charlie and Todd.

Chapter Notes

Sorry this is up so late, AO3 was down when I originally wanted to post this. Thanks so
much to @shpevrythng and @desertrosetico who are my betas for this story! They are
always so helpful!

As always, I welcome any feedback on this story-comments, concerns, predictions, etc. I

always try to reply!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Neil had no idea where he was upon opening his eyes. All he knew was pain and lots of it. He
was happy to see the familiar face of Charlie and the somewhat familiar face of Todd.

“Neil, I’m so happy to see you’re awake! We were starting to get worried,” said Charlie.

“You’re not in too much pain, are you?” asked Todd.

“Where am I? What happened?”

Charlie and Todd both looked pretty freaked out when he said that.

“You, you don’t remember?” asked Charlie concernedly.

“I remember some stuff, but I don’t remember getting here.”

“Oh okay,” said Charlie, looking a bit relieved to hear that. “Meeks drove us all here.”

“And where is here?”

“The hospital. You’ve been here for less than 24 hours, but it seemed so much longer than
that for us to be honest.”

Neil attempted to sit up a little better, but instantly regretted it.

“Ahhhh oh my god! That hurts!”

“You have a broken rib. It’s going to hurt for a while. You also have a concussion, which can
only really be treated with pain medication and rest.”

Todd finally spoke up and said,

“I’m so sorry that this happened, Neil. You don’t know how greatly I owe you and how
grateful I am to you for stepping in like that.”

Remembering the little insight he had been given into Todd’s past, Neil replied,

“I would happily do it again.” He paused and then added as an afterthought, “You should see
the other guy.”

This statement, at least, got Todd to smile.

As much as Neil wanted to laugh at his own joke, he really couldn’t laugh without being in a
lot of pain.

Charlie and Todd stayed and talked with Neil until they were kicked out of the room. Aside
from it being past visiting hours, the police wanted to talk to him about what had happened
and to ask him if he wanted to press charges against the boy who had beat him up, who Neil
learned was named Grant.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Perry. I am Officer Fenton. I’m here to ask you a couple questions
about how this happened.”

“Well, I witnessed an argument between Grant and another boy, Todd. Grant started
becoming aggressive towards Todd and I stepped in because I wanted to make sure he didn’t
get hurt.”

“But you had no previous involvement with Mr. Anderson or Mr. Booth?”

“No, sir, I had never met either of them before.”

“Okay, then what happened?”

“When I stepped in, he got even more aggressive towards Todd. I told him to let go and he
asked what I was going to do about it. I said fight him, but to be honest with you, for the most
part, that was an empty threat. I’m not much of a fighter. I was just so angry that he wasn’t
letting go of Todd. So, I did attempt to swing at him, but I ended up tripping over my own
feet and I landed on the ground. He then began to punch me. I didn’t feel much after the first
couple. I passed out from the pain, I think. And then next thing I know, I’m here.”

Officer Fenton nodded and said,

“I’ve already spoken to your friends about the situation and I mentioned that you could press
charges against Mr. Booth if you would like.”
“I don’t really think that’s necessary. I turned out okay after all this. I just hope he stays away
from Todd.”

Officer Fenton then thanked him for his time and then a nurse came in the room to inform
him that a doctor would be in to see him shortly.

Sure enough, in walked the doctor a few minutes later.

“Hello, Neil. I am Doctor Sherbert and I’m here to talk to you a little bit about your injuries.
Now I called your folks-,”

At this, Neil started to internally panic. He also wondered how he wasn’t already dead at this
point.

“They told me to relay to you that they are sorry you got hurt and that, unfortunately, they are
out of town at the moment and are unable to visit.”

Neil was extremely confused. That did not sound like something his parents would say at all.
Was this some kind of alternate dimension where his parents were all of a sudden kind and
caring people? That just didn’t seem realistic at all.

“Oh well how nice of them,” said Neil because really what else could he say?

“So, moving on to discussion of your injuries. One of your ribs is broken and you have a
concussion. Now, the unfortunate thing is for both of these injuries, there isn’t a whole lot
that can be done. Ribs heal naturally on their own so it’s going to hurt to breathe and move
for a while, around one to two months. But you need to be very careful. Taking shallow
breaths or not coughing when you need to to avoid pain could cause you to get an infection.
As for concussions, we recommend lots of rest and if it’s causing pain, you can take pain
medication for that. We will probably keep you here through another night just to make sure
you don’t get any worse or anything like that, but you will most likely get released tomorrow.
Now, do you have any questions for me?”

“I do, actually. Will I still be able to attend school? I just started the semester and I don’t want
to get far behind.”

The doctor looked at him sympathetically. “I’m afraid that’s not possible. There’s too much
risk for things to get much much worse for you. I can, however, write you a doctor’s note
excusing you from class. Maybe a classmate of yours could bring you your homework as it’s
assigned and you can try to stay caught up.”

This was not what Neil wanted to hear at all. If he gave Welton a doctor’s note, they would
want to know how he hurt himself and he couldn’t disclose that without getting into a lot of
trouble. Still, he knew he needed that doctor’s note to not get behind so he agreed to have her
send one over. If Welton asked what he did, he could always say he fell off his bike or
something like that.

Neil had a very hard time sleeping that night for a wide variety of reasons. He was worried
about why his parents had such a calm reaction to everything and he kept getting scared his
father was going to barge in at any moment to yell at him and to threaten/really go through
with sending him to military school. He was also worried about Welton administration
finding out the truth and expelling him and how he was going to keep up with his
schoolwork.

Also, and unrelated to school or family in every conceivable way, he was worried about
Todd. Would Grant go after him again? Was he safe? Where did he go to school? Would he
continue to be in his life?

Time somehow passed simultaneously slowly and extremely fast. Before he knew it, the
doctor was coming back into his room telling him that he was free to go. Neil asked if he
could borrow the phone so that he call Meeks and ask him if he could pick him up. Meeks
answered and said he was on the way.

It wasn’t long before Neil was being helped into the car by an extremely concerned Todd.
Well, he guessed that he could cross one of his worries about Todd off his list. Todd wasn’t
the only one who had tagged along with Meeks. Neil found out that all of them had stuck
together throughout the night, with them having snuck Todd onto campus into Meeks’ room.

“Well, he could’ve stayed in my room, but you know how Cameron’s a stickler for the rules.
He no doubt would have finked,” said Charlie.

“Yeah, you’re certainly right about that,” said Neil.

“So, what did the doctor say?” asked Todd.

“Well, she said she called my parents and didn’t end that sentence with ‘they are coming to
kick your ass or kill you’ so I’m a bit confused about that one.”

“Allow me to clear up that confusion. Knox is your dad now.”

“Yeah, thanks, Charlie. That cleared up so much!”

Charlie laughed and said, “I gave the nurse Knox’s number and told them it was your
parents’. You didn’t think I’d let them get ahold of your actual parents’ number, did you?”

“Oh my god, that is such a relief. You have no idea! I was up all-night worrying.”

“Neil, I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

“No, it’s okay. That wasn’t the only thing keeping me awake. It was hard to get to sleep
comfortably in that hospital bed.”

“Well at least you have the day to rest before school tomorrow,” said Meeks.

“I’m not going to school tomorrow. The doctor said I can’t for a month or two until my rib
heals. She wrote a note and sent it to Welton.”

All three of them looked at him surprised.

“She sent it to Welton? What are you going to say to them? You can’t exactly tell them the
truth about what happened!” exclaimed Charlie.

“Don’t worry, Charlie. I’ll tell them I fell off my bike going on a bike ride.”

“Do you think they’ll buy that?”

“Not sure, but it’s worth a shot, right?”

“Your funeral, Perry,” Charlie said.

“What about your homework? Won’t you get really behind?” Meeks asked.

“Well, I was hoping you and Charlie could bring me my assignments so I can try to keep up.
And Meeks, can I borrow your notes? I’d ask Charlie for his, but he usually just draws dicks
all over his notebook since he remembers everything he ever hears ever.”

“Hey! I take offense to that,” said Charlie. “I don’t always draw dicks, sometimes I draw
boobs too!”

“Eww no thanks,” said Neil.

They all laughed, well, Neil tried to, but then everyone stopped laughing and looked at him
with concern.

“I’m okay. It’s just laughing hurts like a lot.”

“Got it, mission ‘be super dull around Neil so he doesn’t laugh and hurt himself’ is ago!”
Charlie said.

“Off to a great start there, Charlie.”

Charlie just grinned his classic shit-eating grin. Soon enough, they arrived at Welton and
Meeks, Charlie, and Todd all helped Neil get into his dorm room. He had just gotten settled
onto his bed with the boys sticking around to chat for a while when there was a knock on the
door. Neil had Charlie answer it and noticed that Charlie looked a little nervous all of a
sudden. He quickly saw why. The assistant principal walked into the room and said,

“Mr. Perry, we need to have a talk.”

 YAWP!
Chapter Summary

Neil's fate is determined and a surprise discovery

Chapter Notes

I really really am excited to see reactions from people on this one. Thanks to my betas
@desertrosetico and @shpevrythng for helping me make this story something I can be
proud of!

Also, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but you can always come talk to me over
on tumblr at @makeyourlivesextraordinary

Feel free to comment and tell me how this chapter made you feel or what you think will
happen next!

Neil was convinced this was the end for him. The end of his time at Welton, the end of his
great education and path to a great career, and, when news of what had happened inevitably
reached his father, the end of life as he knew it. He took a deep breath, and trying to seem as
if he had no idea why the assistant principal wanted to talk to him, said,

“Yes, sir? What do you need to talk to me about?”

The assistant principal pulled the chair from in front of the desk up to Neil’s bed and said,

“I heard you got hurt and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I just received a note from
the hospital about your condition and wanted to let you know we will make every
accommodation for you possible.”

Neil was so shocked to hear this. This was the last thing he had expected the assistant
principal to say. He was almost certain he was either dreaming or being pranked. The
assistant principal was probably trying to lure him into a false sense of security before
breaking the news that he knew everything and that Neil was in trouble.

“Well, uh, thank you, sir.”

“What happened to cause this?”

“Well, it’s really embarrassing, but I was riding my bike around campus and there was some
kind of rock or something on the sidewalk and it threw me off my bike and it was very
painful. Luckily, my friend Charlie was already headed my way, we were meeting to study,
you see, and when he discovered me all sprawled out on the ground, he took me to the
hospital.”

“Well, that was very quick thinking of him. This all probably could have been much worse if
he hadn’t done that.

Neil nodded, internally feeling cxtremely happy that the assistant principal seemed to be
buying his story. If Nolan were here, he would probably have conducted a “full investigation”
into the matter and discovered the truth. He honestly also was wondering why the assistant
principal couldn’t just be their principal and why Nolan couldn’t just retire already, but he
shouldn’t ask for too much. He had already gotten off, something he thought was absolutely
the last possible thing that could happen.

“Now, back to discussing your education.”

“Sir, I was hoping Charlie could bring me my assignments every day and I could work on
them. I really don’t want this to set me back.”

“I’m impressed, Mr. Perry. I see that you’ve already thought this through. That is an excellent
plan and I’m sure Mr. Dalton would be more than happy to do that for you. Is there anything
else I can do for you to make sure you stay caught up?”

“I don’t think so, sir, but thank you so much. You have already done so much for me.”

“Now, before I forget, do you need me to contact your parents? Do they know about your
condition?”

“Yes, sir, the hospital spoke to them. That’s very nice of you to ask.”

Neil, obviously, did not really think it was nice of him to ask. In fact, him even asking that
already caused Neil’s heart to race and his anxiety to spike.

“Alright, well, then with that, I must take my leave. I hope you to start to feel better soon, Mr.
Perry.”

As soon as he left, Neil breathed a sigh of relief and then winced at the pain that sigh caused.
A few moments later, Charlie peeked his head in and asked,

“Is it safe for us to come back in? What did he want?”

“He, surprisingly, wanted to make sure I was okay. He seemed to buy the bike story, though,
and he also asked if my parents knew which about gave me a heart attack.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t try to contact them or anything,” Charlie
reassured him.

“Thank you, Charlie. I’m just so worried they’ll find out.”

“Don’t worry, they won’t.”

The other boys-Meeks, Knox, and Todd- all of whom had been hiding out in Meek’s room,
came back in once Charlie went to tell them the coast was clear.

Once Neil had filled them in on exactly what the assistant principal had said to him, they all
started talking about the party. Since Neil hadn’t really seen Meeks or Charlie that night, he
wanted to know what their experiences at the party were like.

Meeks jumped right in to talking about the time he had at the party.

“I met someone really…interesting at the party,” said Meeks.

“Oh? You care to clarify what you mean by that, Meeks?” asked Neil.

Meeks blushed and said,

“There was this guy at the party and he was so cute,” he said, dragging out the word, “and so
smart and just talking to him was so great and well basically I got his number.”

“Oh, that’s great! Congratulations!” Todd said. Todd went on to ask Meeks more questions
about this mystery guy from the party while Neil focused on Charlie.

Neil noticed the look on Charlie’s face when he had heard this. He knew how much Charlie
must be hurting hearing about this.

“I’m sorry to do this, guys, but I’m getting really tired and I’m in quite a bit of pain, so I
think I’m just gonna take some medicine and go to sleep,” said Neil.

“Oh, that’s okay, Neil! We know you need your rest,” said Meeks.

“Definitely text me more info about this mystery man, okay?” he said to Meeks before Meeks
left the room.

“I should probably get back to my campus,” said Todd. “They’re less strict than here, but I
still wonder if they will have noticed I wasn’t there last night.”

“Good luck, Todd. I hope to see you soon!”

“Of course! You have my number, right?”

Neil shook his head.

“Well let me change that!”

Todd gave Neil his number and then Neil immediately texted Todd so Todd would have his as
well. Then Todd left, and it was just Charlie left in the room with him.

Charlie was quiet for a while and Neil wasn’t sure whether he should say something.

“Charlie-”
“Don’t, Neil. I knew this day would come. Of course he would find someone. How could he
not? I just want him to be happy.”

“Still, I’m sure it’s not easy to hear.”

“I’ll be okay, Neil. You just worry about getting better, okay?”

“Okay, Charlie. Good night.”

“Night, Neil,” he said and then left the room.

***

Not being in class with his classmates quickly became a dreadfully boring affair. He had no
one to talk to during the days because practically everyone he knew was in class and the
phone policies were upheld strictly at both Welton and Balincrest. He took to drawing
doodles in his notebook whenever he was done with his homework. None of them were any
good-he certainly wasn’t going to pursue being an artist-but they did keep him entertained
when otherwise he would be bored out of his skull.

So far, as Charlie had reported to him, there were no signs of the assistant principal
attempting to get into contact with Neil’s actual parents, which eased Neil’s nerves a bit.
There was always that worry that his father would find out, but a few days had passed at this
point and everything seemed peaceful.

Charlie barged into the door at the end of the school day at that day with an eager look on his
face.

“Charlie, what-?”

“I have something so exciting to tell you. You are never going to believe it-”

Whatever Charlie was about to tell him was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Come on in!” Neil said.

The assistant principal was at the door. Again, Neil felt his stomach drop at the sight of him.
Had his lies been found out this time?

“Hello, Mr. Perry, oh, Mr. Dalton, come to give Mr. Perry his homework, have you?”

“Yes, sir,” said Charlie.

“That’s very nice of you. Would you please excuse us, Mr. Dalton. I have to discuss
something with Mr. Perry here.”

“Yes, sir. See you later, Neil,” said Charlie, waggling his eyebrows as he left.

Neil wondered what Charlie could mean by doing that. He obviously knew something Neil
did not and he knew Charlie and if it what he had come to tell him had been bad news, he
would have looked more alarmed.

“Now, Mr. Perry, I’m aware that you are probably used to being without a roommate, but we
have recently accepted a new student here at Welton and I was hoping to place him in here
with you. He’s an exceptional student and I think the two of you would get along great.”

Neil was taken aback at this. This is all the assistant principal wanted to talk to him about?
Getting a roommate? He was so relieved it took him a second to be able to reply.

The assistant principal looked at him confusedly.

“Mr. Perry, are you okay?”

Neil snapped out of it.

“Yes, sir, I am. I am sorry. I am completely fine with getting a new roommate. I can’t wait to
meet him!”

“Well, he’s right outside. Can I bring him in?”

“Of course!”

The assistant principal went to the door to tell Neil’s roommate he could come in. A moment
later, the boy entered the room.

Neil looked at him and immediately gasped.

 It's Every Bit As Tough As They Say
Chapter Summary

Neil and Charlie explain the basics of Welton to Todd.

Chapter Notes

Hi, friends! Here's Chapter 6! Thanks to my betas @shpevrythng and @desertrosetico

for helping me! <3

As always, feel free to talk to me anytime over @makeyourlivesextraordinary!

I hope you enjoy this!

Both the assistant principal and Neil’s new roommate looked at Neil with concern on their
faces.

“Mr. Perry, is everything alright?”

“Yes, sir, I’m sorry. Sometimes my rib hurts so badly it causes me to gasp, which I really
shouldn’t do either because that just makes it worse.”

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry to hear that. Did the doctor give you anything that could help with that?”

“Yes, sir, but I’m okay. I promise.”

“Good to hear! Well then, allow me to introduce your new roommate, Todd Anderson.”

Neil obviously did not need to be introduced to Todd, but the assistant principal did not know
that, of course. Neil couldn’t believe this. They had only just met and now Todd was going to
be his roommate? He found that to be a bit humorous. He was also a bit relieved. He didn’t
have to get to know a whole new person, he could just continue his already started process of
getting to know Todd.

He realized he probably needed to act as if he had never met Todd before and so he tuned
back in as the assistant principal was saying,

“Mr. Anderson previously attended Balincrest, our rival, but it would appear that he made the
right choice to transfer here, eh, Mr. Anderson?”
Todd didn’t say anything, but merely nodded.

The assistant principal laughed at his own comment and then he said,

“Well, let me leave you two to get to know each other.”

He left the room and then Neil turned to Todd and said,

“Well this is crazy, isn’t it?”

“What? My being here?”

“Yeah,” said Neil.

“Bad crazy?” asked Todd, looking nervous.

“No! Good crazy! We only just met and now you’re my roommate! It’s incredible!”

Todd smiled and started to put his stuff away.

Neil was about to ask him how he came to be at Welton when Charlie barged in the door in
typical Charlie fashion.

Todd looked visibly startled and Neil said,

“Charlie! You can’t do that anymore! It was fine when it was just me, but now that Todd’s
here too, you need to learn to knock!”

“Sorry, sorry, I was just excited! This is what I was trying to tell you before Mr. ‘Pushover’
kicked me out.”

“Mr. Pushover? That’s what you guys call him?” asked Todd.

“Yeah, he’s the assistant principal and while he’s preferable to our actual principal, Mr.
Hardass, he’s definitely easy to manipulate which makes him an easy target, hence Mr.
Pushover.”

“So where’s the actual principal then?”

“He’s in Europe kissing asses of some of the best professors to try to get them to teach here.
It’s pathetic, really.”

“If you don’t already hate Hellton, you will when Nolan’s around,” Neil said, finally
contributing to the conversation.

“Nolan?” asked Todd confusedly.

“Oh, sorry, Nolan is Mr. Hardass and Gordon is Mr. Pushover.”

“So much information to remember,” said Todd.

“Yeah, you’ll get used to it, don’t worry. We’ll all be here to help you,”

“Thanks, Neil.”

Neil smiled. “No problem.”

The boys all chatted while Todd put away his stuff. Neil was so grateful for the fact that since
he had to have a roommate after a while of not having one, he got someone he knew already
and he liked. Neil had managed to find a good group of people to be friends with, but there
were plenty other students at Welton that he would not want to be friends with. A lot of them
were snobby know-it-alls or bullies, neither of which category would be pleasant to have as a
roommate.

Dinnertime came and Charlie offered to show Todd how to get to the dining hall. Like
always, he agreed to bring Neil something to eat, which normally was not allowed, but an
exception had been made for Neil, with him being on bedrest.

The bedrest thing was really starting to become really boring for Neil. At first, for the first
couple of days, at least, it was kind of nice getting to stay in bed and not having to go to
class, but now he wished his rib would just heal already so his routine could go back to
normal.

While Charlie and Todd were at dinner, Neil decided to finish an essay he had started
working on earlier for history class. He had almost finished with it when Charlie returned
with his food with Todd following close behind him. When they walked through the door,
they were laughing which was nice to see.

“Neil, you’ll never guess what happened at dinner tonight,” said Charlie.

“What happened?”

“Gordon’s shoelace came undone and he tripped over it on his way to sit down and his food
went all over Hager. He looked so mad, but, of course, he couldn’t do anything about it. It’s
not like he can publicly make a scene, it would set a bad example for our fragile, teenage
minds.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry I missed that. You should have snapped a pic.”

“I’ll do you one better, here’s the aftermath on video! I snapped it while everyone was
distracted by the mess.”

“Charlie, you’re the best!” Neil exclaimed.

“Don’t I know it!” was Charlie’s reply.

Charlie stuck around for another hour or so giving Todd the best gossip so he could
considered a true student of Hellton, but then he said, looking at his watch,

“Well, lads, it’s been an absolute joy talking with you two, but I gotta get back to my room,
unfortunately. There’s this annoying thing called homework that I’m expected to keep on top
of? I don’t know if you’ve guys heard of it, but it’s super annoying. Anyway, later guys!”

Charlie left and it was just Neil and Todd left in their room.

Neil started to speak when Todd said,

“It’s quite a weird place here. Not bad weird, it’s just kind of a lot to get used to, but I guess I
should have expected that, being the new kid and all.”

“Was Balincrest anything like this?”

“Yes and no. I mean the two schools are similar in the whole prep school ‘we’re the best, pick
us’ type of way, but you guys seem like you have a whole lot more fun here.”

“Well, you managed to find your way into the most fun group possible so congratulations!”
Neil said in a joking manner.

“I feel so privileged,” replied Todd.

There was a lull in the conversation and Neil debated with himself whether to try to continue
the conversation or to just get to bed, but then his decision was made for him when Todd
spoke up.

“Listen, I don’t know if I actually properly thanked you for what you did for me. I know that
things got really out of hand at the party, but I really appreciate it and I will never forget your
kindness to me. So thank you, really.”

Neil said, “Todd, of course, I wasn’t just gonna let what’s-his-face hurt you,”

“Grant,” said Todd.

“Right,” said Neil.

The conversation drifted off after that. Neil didn’t want to say anything to further upset or
delve too deeply into Todd’s personal life. He feigned a yawn and then said,

“Well, I’m tired from going nowhere and being in this bed all day, I’m going to sleep.”

Just before he turned on his side, he noticed a small grin on Todd’s face.
 Laughing, Crying, Tumbling, Mumbling
Chapter Summary

Neil comforts a very upset, very drunk Charlie

Chapter Notes

*whispers* shit is about to go down, my peeps. Not in this one...but we are getting
there!

Thank you to my betas @shpevrythng and @desertrosetico for helping me with this
story!

As always, feel free to comment, make predictions, scream at me, etc in the comments
or over on @makeyourlivesextraordinary

Two weeks of Neil’s very long bedrest had passed. Like the dutiful student he was, he had
managed to keep on top of his schoolwork, maintaining his great grade point average. When
he didn’t have homework, however, he took to bothering Todd.

“Hey, Todd. Whatcha up to?”

“Neil, you know I’m studying for a very important test!”

“But I’m boooored.”

“Neil, seriously, can you not be like this? I need to get an A on this test. Not all of us can just
be great at every subject ever by barely lifting a finger.”

“Todd Anderson, you take that back!”

“I will not take it back! It’s true. You know what? I don’t have to sit here and take this. I’m
going somewhere you can’t follow: the library, to study. Why don’t you bother the wall?”

Neil and Todd had been getting along great most of the time since the two became
roommates, but as roommates are wont to do, they had little tiffs every once in a while, but
they weren’t very serious and didn’t last long. Neil knew that by the time Todd returned later
in the night, they would be on good terms again.

Neil was starting to doze off when a door slam woke him up.
“Wha-? Charlie? What’s wrong?”

While it is true that Charlie usually slammed open the door upon arrival into Neil’s room,
Neil could tell just by looking at him that something was genuinely bothering him. He
recognized the look in Charlie’s eyes, the redness of his face, and the stumble to his step. He
was drunk.

Charlie sprawled out on Todd’s bed and said,

“What makes you think something’s wrong, Neil? Nothing’s wrong! Nothing’s ever wrong
with Charlie Dalton!”

Neil gave Charlie a look and said,

“Cut the bullshit, Charlie. You should know that I, as your best friend, see right through that
crap.”

Charlie rolled his eyes and groaned.

“You know me well, Perry. Too well.”

Neil stared at Charlie waiting for him to continue talking, but he did not.

“Well?”

“Wells are devices from which you get water, yes. What about it?”

“Charlie, stop evading my questions. You’re here, you’re very drunk, and you’re obviously
upset. So what’s going on?”

Charlie sighed.

“It’s Meeks.”

Neil sort of suspected as much. He had never seen Charlie so down as he had been when
Meeks had talked about his new boyfriend.

“Yeah I bet that’s hard,”

“I just don’t understand why he has to bring his boyfriend here. I don’t understand why I
have to see them hanging around together having a good time. Why I have to watch them
kissing.”

“Charlie, this might be hard to hear, but have you considered trying to move on from him? I
know it won’t be easy, but it won’t cause you as much pain.”

“And how do you propose I do that, Neil?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I wish I had all the answers. I wish I could make everything okay.”

“I should have told him. While I had the chance.”

“Charlie, don’t do this to yourself. You’ll make things worse!”

“How can they be worse, Neil? I’m already in the worst pain of my life emotionally. The
person I have liked for upwards of two years has a boyfriend and I’m not him!”

Neil noticed tears starting to fall from Charlie’s eyes. He wished now more than ever that he
could get up to comfort Charlie, but he knew he could not do that without hurting himself so
instead he sat quietly while his best friend cried, trying desperately to think of anything he
could say that might mean something to Charlie. But he came up empty.

Just then, Todd walked in and seeming to notice this was an intimate, private moment
between Charlie and Neil, muttered,

“I’ll be at Knox’s,” and then turned back around and left again.

Charlie sat up, wiping the tears away.

“That Todd is a good fellow,” he said.

Neil just went along with Charlie’s topic change. He knew when Charlie changed a topic it
meant he was done with the previous one and he didn’t want to upset Charlie anymore.

“Yes, he really is.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something about him,”

“Really? I’ll try to answer, but I don’t know that much about him.”

“Well, not about him, really. About that night. The night you came to his rescue.”

“Oh, okay. What’s your question?”

“Why’d you do it?”

Neil was taken aback. He had not expected Charlie to say anything even remotely close to
that question. It got him thinking. Why had he done it?

“Uh, well, I saw a person in need and jumped in.”

“Yeah, but he told me you said you were his boyfriend.”

“Well, yeah, I did say that, but I only said it because I figured the bastard wouldn’t back off
unless he thought I was gonna kick his ass for being all over my man.”

“Your man, huh?”

“Oh, shut up, Charlie. You know it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like, Neil?”

“Does it have to be like anything?”

“No, but does it seem like it is? Yes!”

“You obviously have had too much to drink, you need some sleep.”

“Giving up by changing the subject means a win for Charlie!”

“God, you’re the worst!”

“You know you love me.”

“That I do, Charlie, that I do.”

It wasn’t long before Charlie drifted off to sleep, but his comments kept Neil awake. Why did
it have to mean anything that Neil had claimed to be Todd’s boyfriend at the party? Charlie
was crazy, it didn’t mean anything. He just wanted to help the poor guy out! Yeah, that was
it! Charlie had no idea what he was talking about!

Or did he? was the thought that popped into Neil’s mind before he quickly shook it away and
went to sleep.
 If It Had Been Collect, That Would Be Daring
Chapter Summary

Charlie does something stupid, followed by Charlie doing something else that is stupid.

Chapter Notes

I know it has been a while, but here I am! I am really excited to see reactions from
people about this chapter!

It's Charlie's POV again.

Thanks to my betas @shpevrythng and @desertrosetico for helping me with this

chapter! I really appreciate them!

As always, comments, speculations, screaming at me, etc are welcome either in the
comments or over on my blog @makeyourlivesextraordinary

*Charlie’s POV*

The day after he fell asleep in Neil’s room talking to Neil, Charlie could not stop thinking
about Meeks. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he was thinking about Meeks and his stupid
boyfriend and whenever he thought about Meeks, he craved a drink, and really it was a very
unhealthy cycle he had gotten himself into. He knew this, but he continued to do it because it
was the only thing that helped him dull the amount of pain he was feeling. And so he drank
and he thought and he drank some more.

Charlie knew that Neil was right. He knew that he should just try to be happy for Meeks.
After all, they were friends before Charlie started wishing they were more than that. And it
wasn’t at all Meeks’ fault that Charlie was upset. He had ample opportunity before Meeks
had gotten a boyfriend to share his true feelings, but he never went through with it.
Paralyzing fear stopped him. Fear of ruining a friendship, fear of rejection, and perhaps the
worst of all, fear that things would change forever.

He just wished so badly that it was he whom Meeks wanted to be with. He wished Meeks
would look at him the way he looked at his boyfriend. He wished the two of them could walk
hand-in-hand, giggling and talking about smart people things. And why couldn’t it be him?
For all he knew, maybe if Meeks knew how he felt, he would want to be with him instead of
whats-his-face?
He was gonna do it! He was gonna march right into Meeks’ room and tell him how he felt,
goddammit.

He knocked on Meeks’ door and Meeks answered.

Meeks smiled upon seeing him and said,

“Charlie! How are you?”

“I’m okay, listen, there’s something I need to tell you-”

“Won’t you sit down?”

Charlie sat down and started to speak again when Meeks said,

“Did you need help with trig? I already finished it so I’d be more than willing to help you!”

Charlie wasn’t even listening to what Meeks was saying. All he could focus on were Meeks’
lips as he talked. He pictured how it would feel to have those lips pressed against his own.

Charlie stood up and Meeks looked confused.

“Ch-Charlie?”

He stepped closer and closer to Meeks until before he knew it, he was kissing him. He didn’t
even really get to focus on how it felt because Meeks pushed him off and asked,

“What the fuck are you doing? You know I have a boyfriend who I actually like!”

“I-I didn’t mean to do that, I came here to tell you how I felt, but-”

“But nothing! Just get out!”

Charlie felt horrible. Why didn’t he think that through? Why did he do that? Why did he even
go to Meeks’ room in the first place? And why did he always find himself making stupid
decisions? Oh yeah, all the alcohol. He really needed to stop drinking.

He went to his room and sat on his bed, curling up in a ball. He heard Cameron ask him what
was wrong, but he ignored him. Maybe if he stayed in this position no one would notice him.
Maybe everyone would forget he existed and then he could fade out of existence because
that’s what he felt like doing after kissing Meeks like a drunken idiot!

He was starting to calm down when the door slammed open.

Startled, he turned towards the door and saw Meeks standing there, livid.

“I told Brandon what happened and he broke up with me. He thinks I cheated on him. He
thinks I wanted you to kiss me! As if I could ever want that!”

“Meeks, I’m sorry, I really am. I-”

“Save it, Charlie. We’re done being friends. And you can fail Trig for all I care!” he screamed
as he left the room.

Charlie didn’t know how to feel. He felt anxious, and like an enormous jerk. He knew that he
had really screwed up big time and he knew Meeks hated him now. He sat on his bed very
still, not knowing what to do or what to think when Cameron said,

“Dude, you kissed him? Why would you do that? He had a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, I’m aware I did something awful, Cameron, thanks for the reminder,” snapped
Charlie. “I’m going to Neil’s.”

Charlie knocked on Neil and Todd’s door and Todd opened it. He gave Charlie an inquisitive
glance before letting him in.

“Neil,” said Charlie meekly. “I did something stupid.”

He started to cry as he told Neil what he had done.

“I ruined everything. Why did I have to be so stupid and selfish? He hates me now. He will
always hate me.”

“Charlie, I don’t think he will always hate you, but you have to admit, it makes sense why
he’s angry. You have to let him be angry. You need to give him space and time and in that
time, if he decides to forgive you, great, but if he doesn’t, you need to respect his decision.”

Charlie nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to be in the same room with Cameron. He was being a
dick and like I know I deserve it, but I just didn’t want to hear it from him. He can be such
a…such a perfect little know-it-all and it drives me crazy!”

“Sure, Charlie, you can stay here, if it’s alright with Todd?” asked Neil aiming that last part at
Todd.

Todd just nodded and said,

“Yeah, of course.”

Charlie was grateful that Neil and Todd were trying to cheer him up. Even though he wasn’t
crying anymore, he still felt guilt in the pit of his stomach. He had no idea what things would
be like during school Monday morning. He had no idea what anything would be like
anymore, really. Maybe he was projecting, but it felt a little like Neil and Todd were judging
him and he knew that they had every right to. He had basically gone out and done the
complete opposite of what Neil had told him to do.

***

It was very quiet in the room. Todd and Neil presumably had gone to sleep hours ago, but
Charlie was awake, thinking. He would not be able to sleep, even if he tried, but he hadn’t
tried all that hard. He was feeling so awful. He had done the worst thing he could possibly
have imagined. His thoughts were interrupted by a whisper.

“Charlie? Are you still awake?” asked Neil.

“Yes, I am. I thought I was the only one, to be honest. I thought you and Todd were asleep.”

“No. I can’t sleep.”

“Neither can I. My reason is kinda obvious, but why can’t you?”

It was quiet and Charlie thought Neil hadn’t heard him, but then he said,

“I’ve been worrying about Todd.”

“Why?”

“He hasn’t been talking to me as much lately. I know, I know, he’s not a very talkative
person, but to me, he is, and then he’s just been super quiet lately.”

“Do you have any idea why?”

“No, no clue.”

“Well, he does seem like he’s been through some shit. You should’ve seen the way he reacted
when we told him the police were gonna talk to you about pressing charges against Grant.”

“What did his face look like?”

“Like he had just seen a ghost. He was so pale. He looked, well, he looked terrified.”

“He seemed pretty scared the night of the party too. He said something to me when the two
of us were talking about how it was worse seeing Grant hurt other people.”

“Did-do you think Grant hurt him?”

Charlie didn’t get a chance to hear Neil’s response because just then, there was a very quiet
sigh.

Charlie wondered just how much Todd had heard them say. He waited for Todd to say
something, but a few moments passed and it was still very quiet.

“I hate to be this way, guys, but I am, well, I’m a little disappointed. I just wish you had
asked me about my past instead of, instead of talking about me when you think I am asleep. I
just need to get out of here for a while. I’ll be at Knox’s.”

And for a second time that night, Charlie felt extremely guilty.
 I Can Take Care of Myself Just Fine
Chapter Summary

Neil and Todd talk.

Chapter Notes

Hey, friends! Sorry, it has been so long. I would like to thank my dear friends
@shpevrythng @desertrosetico and special guest beta @wordshakers for looking over
this chapter for me! Each of them gave me rewrites and helped fix plot holes and just
really helped get this chapter to where I wanted it to be.

As usual, you can leave any comments or predictions, etc below and I hope you enjoy!!!

Neil felt extremely bad about what had just happened. He hadn’t meant to upset Todd, he was
just concerned for his friend and it was obvious that Todd had been through a lot. Todd was
right to chastise both Charlie and himself, though, and he knew it. They should not have been
talking about Todd’s past. It was not very respectful of them.

“I wanna go after him to make sure he’s alright, but I can’t because I’m on bedrest,” he said
dejectedly.

“It’s for the best, Neil. Like you told me, we gotta give angry people space. We did
something that made Todd mad, and he needs time to cool off. Even if you were able to go
after him, it would only make things worse.”

Neil sighed. He did not like the idea of Todd being angry with him, but he knew that anger
was justified.

Charlie said,

“Man, it’s really been a day for screw-ups, hasn’t it? I’m thinking I should just shut my
mouth from here on out.”

“Charlie, if I believed you would actually do that then I would say good for you, but I know
you better than most and I have to say that I find it extremely unlikely that you will keep to
that.”
Charlie just flipped him off and laid down, trying to get to sleep. It was a pretty sleepless
night for the both of them.

***

The next morning, Todd quickly came in to grab a change of clothes and then headed back
out. Neil knew he must still be pretty upset.

Charlie came by again and described a similar scenario that happened with Meeks, the
difference being that Charlie came into the bathroom when Meeks happened to be washing
his hands and so Meeks quickly shut off the water and stormed out without even using a
towel to dry off his hands.

“Well, we sure know how to keep friends,” said Neil.

“I just feel so awful, Neil. I should never have kissed him. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Has anybody else treated you strangely today? Like does Pitts know?”

“I haven’t seen Pitts at all today, but I’m sure Meeks told him, they are roommates. And since
he still seemed so visibly angry, it would be kind of hard to hide that something was up.
Cameron was still acting like a dick, but honestly, when is he not? I know I’m going to have
to go back to my room eventually, but I feel like the more I can avoid my room right now, the
better. And I’m sure Todd told Knox since he went to stay in his room last night.”

“I don’t think he would do that, Charlie,”

“Why not? I deserve it.”

“But Todd isn’t like that. Sure, he might be telling Knox about why we both pissed him off
yesterday, but I doubt he’s spreading any rumors about what you did. He’s not the type.”

“You are really pining for him.”

“I am not, Charlie! Really, I’m not! He’s just a friend, or at least, I hope he still is! I don’t
know why you’re so convinced that I like him. Can’t two roommates just be friends?”

“Well if you’re looking at me and Cameron, no, because we aren’t even that,” replied Charlie
and Neil laughed.

Neil and Charlie spent the rest of the afternoon talking, mostly about what had happened with
Meeks and Todd and then Charlie said,

“Well, I have to go face Cameron sometime. Now is as good a time as any, I suppose.”

“Good luck,” said Neil.

“Thank you,” Charlie replied. He stepped towards the door and said, “I’ll bring you your
assignments tomorrow as usual.”
“Okay, sounds good. Thanks.”

Neil was wondering if Todd would even come back. What if Neil had made him so angry and
uncomfortable that he transferred rooms? He would really feel awful if that were the case. He
knew he had been invasive and he knew that he shouldn’t have been gossiping, but Todd was
still a huge mystery to him. He knew that wasn’t a good excuse though.

He was deep in thought when Todd finally entered the room. As soon as he did, Neil could
feel the tension in the air. He was desperate for it to end. He knew he should just take his own
advice and not say anything, to let Todd speak first if he wanted, but Neil had to say
something.

“Todd, I-”

Neil looked at Todd and the look on Todd’s face was one Neil found hard to look at. He saw
disappointment, anger, frustration, and sadness and Neil knew he had had part in causing all
of that. He just wanted to make things right. Not thinking Todd would respond, he was
surprised when Todd said,

“Neil, don’t talk. Just listen, okay?”

Neil nodded.

“I know that I don’t really talk a lot, even though you’re my roommate, but it’s hard for me
to, to talk to people. I mean, I’m just really nervous all the time and it gets worse when I’m
around new people; and even though we’re friends, it still takes me a long time to get
comfortable enough with someone to share details about my life with them. As you’ve seen
with this Grant thing, I’ve been through kind of a lot, and I get it, now, that you’re dying to
know everything about me, but I am nowhere near ready to have that conversation. And the
fact that you and Charlie didn’t just ask me instead of gossiping about me when I was right
there hurts. Would I have told you if you asked right away? No, probably not. But it’s my life
and my past and I have the right to tell or not tell anyone I want, alright?”

Neil nodded. “I’m really sorry, Todd. I had no idea.”

“It’s okay, you literally couldn’t have known until now.”

“Are we okay?”

Todd smiled slightly and said,

“Yeah, we’re okay. Besides, not being around my annoying roommate today has been pretty
weird. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“Well, you’re in luck because I’m stuck here and can’t go anywhere!”

Todd giggled.

The two boys spent the rest of their Sunday night talking. Todd had a couple of questions
about some of the homework and Neil was more than happy to help him, mostly just feeling
relieved that everything was okay between them.

***

Monday morning, Neil woke up and had a weird feeling in his gut. He couldn’t quite place
this feeling or what it represented, but somehow, some way, he was convinced something bad
would happen.

His day passed agonizingly slowly, making this one of the worst days he had spent on
bedrest. Sure, all of them were typically boring, but today he felt helpless. He wanted
desperately to just be in class with his peers so he could talk to someone about his weird
feeling, but, of course, everyone was in class and he was in his room, by himself.

When the end of the school day came, Neil felt relieved that soon he would see his friends.
The feeling had subsided a bit, but he still felt off.

His fear for the worst only made its return when he saw an angry Charlie helping a very pale
Todd into the room. He took one look at Todd’s face and knew something was terribly,
terribly wrong.
 Don't Think That I Don't Know This "Assignment" Scares the
Hell Out of You, You Mole
Chapter Summary

Todd's POV

Chapter Notes

Oooh I am both nervous and excited to share this chapter with all of you. Something
happens in this chapter that I have had planned since I first decided to write a fake
relationship au and now I get to share it finally!!!

Thanks so much to @shpevrythng, @desertrosetico, and @wordshakers for looking

over this chapter for me! They are always so helpful and encouraging with this fic and I
really appreciate that!

Finally, I would like to thank everyone who has read this fic, given kudos, or
commented. I appreciate every single one of you! I really hope you enjoy this chapter!

Todd was really relieved that everything was okay between Neil and himself. It was really
hard for him to open up and make friends and he had been so nervous he would lose Neil as a
friend when he told him how he felt about Charlie and him gossiping, but he went through
with it and everything worked out. It was a good feeling to get something like that off his
chest.

He often wondered if Neil was interested in Charlie romantically though. The two seemed
close, really close, and sometimes the way Neil looked at Charlie, he had to wonder. The way
they spoke the other night and confided in each other, well- oh what did it matter? Todd knew
he shouldn’t be thinking about these things. It didn’t matter if Neil was interested in other
boys, it’s not like he would be interested in him. Wait, woah, why was he thinking about Neil
being interested in him? He didn’t think about Neil in that way, did he? No, definitely not.
Neil was his first friend from Welton and it had to stay that way. He remembered what had
happened the last time he developed feelings for a friend and-,

Todd shuddered. He was away from him now and away from that environment. Welton was a
chance for him to start over. A chance for him to escape his past and his old life. Why drag
up old issues? It would only serve to make him upset and he wanted peace and happiness out
of his experience at Welton.
He was thinking so much that he forgot to look where he was going and he ended up
stumbling into something, or rather, someone.

“Oh my, my god, I’m so, so sorry,” he said, looking up at the person he had run into. As soon
as he saw the person, his stomach dropped and he froze.

“It’s no problem, darling,” said the last person whose face he had ever wanted to see at
Welton.

“Don’t, don’t call me that, Grant,” said Todd.

“I’ll call you whatever I like, darling. This isn’t over. I want you back and I always get what I
want.”

Todd hadn’t even noticed that Grant had walked away. All he could do was stand there,
frozen. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even think he could get back to his room that he
shared with Neil. He was so out of it that he screamed when someone else touched him.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Oh, okay, I’m sorry, Todd,” said Charlie.

Todd relaxed a little when he saw that it was Charlie who was next to him, but not much.

“I just came to see if you were okay? You’ve been standing in this hallway staring at the wall
for a few minutes now.”

“I, uh, well, no, I’m not, not really okay.”

“Is there something I can help with?”

Todd didn’t hear what Charlie had just said to him because he suddenly felt the rather violent
urge to throw up. He ran to the nearest bathroom and immediately emptied the contents of his
stomach into the nearest toilet.

“Todd, you’re sick. Let me take you to the nurse!”

“No! Don’t touch me!”

“Okay, what can I do to help you?”

“Walk with me to my room, please.”

Todd’s head was void of thoughts and full of worry. Panic filled his entire body. He could
barely move, but he knew he had to get to his room before his panic attack really started.
When he felt his body grow heavier, he fell to the ground.

“Todd? Todd what do you need me to do?” asked Charlie.

“Take me to my room, please.”

“Are you sure it’s okay that I touch you?”

“Yes, I-I can’t do this here.”

Todd felt nothing but the panic that was slowly consuming him. Time was simultaneously at
a standstill and passing very quickly. The next thing he knew, Charlie was putting him down
in his room.

“Do you need anything from me?” Charlie asked.

Todd shook his head.

Charlie and Neil were talking in the background, but all Todd heard were muffled words until
he heard Charlie say,

“Todd? I’m not going to touch you, but I need you to do something for me, alright? I’m going
to ask you to think about things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste, okay?”

As he went through the various things he noticed with each of his senses, he found himself
breathing easier and more at ease. He just sat in silence for a while until Charlie said,

“Hey, Todd. Neil and I both want you to know that we are here for you whenever you want to
talk, okay?”

Todd just nodded and started to try to gather his thoughts. He knew they both must be full of
questions, but he needed to compose himself before he could even begin to tell them what
had happened. Not having known them long, but still knowing them enough to most likely
know how they would react, he wasn’t sure how he should go about telling them that Grant
was here. Grant was here. In his new school. In his new safe space. What was he going to do?

“What did you say?” asked Neil.

“I’m sorry, what? I said something?”

“You were muttering to yourself, but you said something like he’s here. Who’s here, Todd?”

“Grant. Grant’s here.”

“What do you mean Grant’s here?”

“I saw him in the hallway. He, he was wearing, I mean, it looked like he was wearing the
uniform.”

“That asshole is going to Welton?” asked Neil who looked like he was about to get up.

“Easy now, Neil. Don’t make your injuries worse,” said Charlie.

“Charlie, aren’t you pissed about this?”

“Yes I am, but we don’t need you getting more hurt than you already are!”
“Well, what are we going to do about this?”

“Do?”

“Well he deliberately came here to torment Todd, we have to do something!”

“What exactly do you suggest?”

“Well, we should go to the assistant principal and tell him what this guy has done! That’s he’s
stalked Todd and enrolled in this school just to torment him.”

Charlie and Neil kept talking back and forth and it was becoming too much for Todd. He was
feeling very overwhelmed and he was still in shock and he felt like he was starting to panic
again. As much as he didn’t want Grant there, he also didn’t want them to do anything to
make Grant angry. That would only make matters worse. Todd noticed it was getting
extremely hot in the room and he was having a hard time breathing. He didn’t have time to
say anything before the world became black around him and he lost consciousness.
 The Powerful Play Goes On
Chapter Summary

The boys develop a plan.

Chapter Notes

Wow, it has been a long time! Sorry about that! Life has been crazy for me! But I have
not given up this story, don't worry about that!

Thanks as always to the lovely @shpevrythng and @wordshakers on tumblr for helping
me out with this chapter!

Charlie and Neil both stopped talking as soon as they heard a thud. Charlie looked at the area
from which the sound came. Todd had passed out. Charlie didn’t even hesitate for a second
before he ran to Todd’s side. He put one hand on Todd’s back and the other hand below his
knees and lifted him to his bed. He ran to the bathroom to get a cold washcloth in the hopes
that the cold water would help Todd wake up. He ran back into Neil and Todd’s room and
knelt beside Todd’s bed. He placed the cloth on Todd’s head and started gently murmuring to
him.

“Todd? Todd, can you wake up for me?”

It took a few minutes, but finally, Charlie breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Todd’s eyes
open.

To Charlie, Todd looked really confused upon waking. Charlie wanted to do everything
possible to keep Todd calm, knowing that all the stress from his and Neil’s earlier argument
must have been what caused Todd to pass out in the first place.

“Charlie? What happened? How long have I been out?”

“You haven’t been out very long, don’t worry. I think you just passed out, but that makes
sense. You’ve had a long day. Do you need anything? Food? A glass of water?”

Todd just shook his head.

Charlie was about to head back to his own room across the hall when there was a knock at
the door.
“Come in,” said Neil.

Charlie’s stomach dropped when he saw it was Meeks at the door. So many thoughts came to
his mind. Was Meeks here to speak to him? Was he still angry with him? Charlie shook off
these thoughts and tuned in to hear Meeks say,

“I, uh, don’t know if you guys had heard, but Grant Booth is Knox’s roommate.”

Charlie noticed that Meeks directed everything he was saying at Neil. This had to mean he
was still angry with him if he wouldn’t even look in his direction. Charlie missed Meeks so
much. He had to find a way to make things right between the two of them. But he knew now
was not the time. Now, he had a plan.

“Grant being Knox’s roommate could actually be used to our advantage.”

“What do you mean?” asked Neil, looking confused.

“If Knox is Grant’s roommate, he can be like our man on the inside. He could try to
‘befriend’ Grant and spy on him for us. He wasn’t there when the whole confrontation went
down between Neil and himself. He has no clue Knox is a friend of ours, most especially
Todd’s.”

While Charlie was saying this, he noticed that Todd looked upset and like he wanted to say
something.

“Todd? What’s wrong?”

“You, you guys don’t, I mean that’s a good thing, but you don’t know Grant like I do. He’s a,
well he gets into your head, and I just, well, I just don’t want Knox getting hurt.”

“Knox can handle himself, Todd. I have a feeling he would want to help out in this way,”
Charlie said.

Meeks scoffed at this statement. “Yeah, you’re really good at assuming you know what a
person wants, Charlie. Why don’t I get Knox over here and he can decide for himself what he
wants to do?”

Charlie didn’t even really have time to take in Meeks’ snide remark before Neil was saying,

“No, Meeks! Don’t invite him here! Grant probably doesn’t know where Todd lives yet and
we don’t want him finding out. Besides, if he sees Knox come in here and then finds out who
lives here, he’ll figure out that we are friends with him and then the whole plan won’t even
work anyway.”

“Yeah, plus we don’t want him to hurt Neil any further than he already has! Good point,
Neil!” Charlie chimed in.

“Fine,” said Meeks. “I’ll text him the plan.”

Meeks didn’t stick around long after he said this and soon it was just Neil, Todd, and himself
in the room again.

Charlie noticed that Todd still looked unsure of the whole situation and he said,

“Todd, I know you’re worried, but everything is going to be okay. We are going to do
everything in our power to make sure nothing bad happens.”

Todd didn’t look happy about it and it took some more convincing, but eventually, he agreed
to the plan if and only if Knox was completely and totally okay with it.

After they had finished discussing the plan and Neil had gotten a confirmation text from
Knox that he was on board, the three boys all decided they had had enough excitement for
one day and headed to bed.
 To the Mighty Mutt!
Chapter Summary

Knox begins his investigative work undercover as Grant's friend.

Chapter Notes

Hello, everyone! I have returned! I know it has been months since I updated and I'm
very sorry about that. It was never my intention to let everyone hang like that. So here's
chapter 12 finally. Hopefully, you all like it! I'll try to be back sooner than 5 months next
time haha.

Knox’s POV

As soon as he had received the text from Meeks about trying to befriend Grant so as to spy
on him for Todd, Knox had been anxious. Not fully nervous-anxious, but more like excited
mixed with nervous-anxious. The thought of acting as a spy thrilled him a little, but there was
always that lingering fear of what Grant would do to him if he found out what he was really
doing. After all, Neil had been on bedrest for three weeks and the doctor said as long as he
continued making the progress he had made, he would only have to remain that way for a
week longer.

Knox valued his life and his body being intact and very much not broken. But he knew that if
he played his cards right, this plan could go off without a hitch.

He had heard about Grant, of course. Who in Welton hadn’t? Grant had a reputation and
while he couldn’t say with 100% certainty that all the rumors were true, he had seen Todd
that night that Grant attacked Neil and that look of pure, unadulterated fear on Todd’s face at
the mention of Grant was proof enough for Knox that Grant was not a good guy.

Knox couldn’t help but think back to last night when Knox had first encountered Grant one-
on-one.

***

Knox, having a room to himself, was accustomed to doing things a certain way. He got up at
a certain time, left for breakfast at a certain time, and went to bed at a certain time. He was
set in his ways, used to the schedule he had made for himself. He was about to head to bed
for the night when there was a knock on his door. Thinking it was Charlie coming to vent
about his failed attempts at obtaining Meeks’ forgiveness, Knox didn’t answer it right away.
Charlie had already kept him up later than he liked twice this week and he couldn’t take it
anymore.

It was only when the knocking got louder and a deep voice said,

“Mr. Overstreet, are you in there?”, that Knox went to open the door.

“Yes, sir, I’m sorry it took me so long. Lost in thought, I guess,” he chuckled.

The man at the door, the assistant principal, simply nodded and then said,

“Mr. Overstreet, I understand that you are living here in this dorm alone.”

“Yes, sir, that is correct. My old roommate transferred and so I’ve been alone since.”

“Well, we’ve had a new student join us and he needs a place to stay so I’m going to be
placing him with you. He’s a fine young man, very charming, and I’m sure you two will get
along great.”

Knox was not thrilled at hearing this news, but he knew he had no other choice except to act
graciously about it.

“When is he arriving?”

“He actually just got in tonight. He traveled a bit from Balincrest. A fine school, but not as
fine as Welton, of course.”

Knox chuckled and he continued,

“I was hoping you could help him settle in.”

“Absolutely, sir.”

“Wonderful. Let me get him.”

Knox got out his phone and texted Meeks.

‘Did you know anything about a new guy?’

“Knox...Todd has been here for weeks now…”

‘No, not Todd. Someone else from Balincrest. Mr. Pushover just came in and told me I have a
roommate.’

“No, I hadn’t heard.”

‘Welp, they’re back. Gtg.’

“Keep me posted.”
Knox looked up, just as the assistant principal came through the door.

“Mr. Booth, follow me. This is where you’ll be staying and this is your roommate. Mr.
Overstreet, I would like you to meet Grant Booth.”

It was a little hard for Knox to not show how much he was freaking out on his face. He put
on a fake smile, shook Grant’s hand, and said,

“Hello. I’m Knox. Knox Overstreet.”

Then while the assistant principal was talking to Grant, Knox sent a quick text to Meeks.

‘SOS. New roommate is Grant Booth!!!’

“WHAT?! No way!”

‘Yes way. I need you to warn the others.’

***

Knox and Grant didn’t end up speaking much after that. They both went to sleep or at least,
Knox tried to go to sleep but didn’t have much luck. And that’s where he found himself now,
lost in contemplative thought when Grant came into the room.

The sound of the door having brought Knox back to reality, Knox nodded at Grant in
greeting, waiting for Grant to say something first before speaking to him. He needed to be on
his good side and so he didn’t want to initiate conversation if that was not what Grant
wanted.

“God this is a dreary place, isn’t it?” asked Grant, flopping onto his bed.

“Not a good first impression, huh?”

“Eh. It’s no worse than any other school would be, I suppose. I only transferred here for one
reason anyway.”

“Oh?” asked Knox, trying to appear disinterested and nonchalant. This was the opening he
had been looking for. Maybe Grant would give some hint as to what his plans were regarding
Todd.

“My ex goes here and well, this is really embarrassing, but I just miss him so much.”

Knox wanted to roll his eyes, but he had to refrain from doing that as that would defeat the
purpose of his mission.

“Don’t worry. I don’t think that’s embarrassing.”

“You’re a good person, Overstreet. We’re gonna have some good times, you and I.”

“Awesome! I look forward to it!”

“What are your plans for tonight?”

“I don’t have any, why?”

“I was wanting to get wasted and was hoping you’d tag along!”

“Sure! Sounds great!”

There was no way in hell that he was getting wasted. He needed to be sober, but the fact that
Grant wanted to get wasted could be used to Knox’s advantage. If he kept up with him by
taking shots of water that he pretended were vodka, he might be able to get some information
out of him. He quickly texted Charlie where he would be just in case something were to go
awry and then they headed out.

***

Hours had passed and Knox was exhausted. Just how much could Grant drink? If he didn’t
hate the asshole, he would worry for his liver. And it wasn’t like he had learned anything
interesting either. Grant just kept going on and on about football.

Knox, desperate to change the subject, decided to try to steer the conversation towards Todd
and said, with an exaggerated slur,

“I once beat up a guy for trying to steal my girl at a football game.”

“I once beat up a guy at a party because he was trying to steal Todd away from me!”

Knox got excited. Finally, after hours of nothing, things were starting to get interesting.

“How could he go and get another boyfriend? I just don’t understand it. We are meant to be
together. I, I love him,” sobbed Grant.

Knox did not expect this reaction from Grant. He seemed like such a tough guy.

“Well, hey, I’m sure Todd, was it, will come to his senses.”

Not.

“Do you know him?”

“Uh, not really. I’ve seen him around.”

Grant grabbed his hand and said,

“Ya gotta help me, Overstreet. Ya gotta help me win him back.”

“I’ll help ya, man. But for now, let’s get home. Tomorrow’s gonna be miserable.”

For you, thought Knox.

“Yeah, you’re right, Overstreet. You’re one of the good ones.”

Knox helped a stumbling Grant back to their dorm and once he was snoring, he texted
Charlie.

‘You up?’

“I am now, you asshole. This had better be good, Knoxious.”

‘I’m in with Grant.’

“That quickly? I didn’t know you had it in you!”

‘Hey, rude! Do you want an update or not?’

“I’m sorry, whaddya got?”

‘Not much, but he wants my help to win Todd back.’

“Yikes. What are you gonna do?”

‘Pretend to help him and secretly throw a hammer in his plans, of course.’

“Good man!”

‘Just promise me that you will never let Todd be alone. Somebody’s always gotta be with him
from now on. If we let something happen to him…’

“Nothing will happen to him, Knox. You worry too much. You got this! Good night and keep
me posted!”

‘Will do!’

Morning came and Grant was moaning and groaning. Knox handed him two aspirin and
some water and said,

“Here, take these. They’ll help with the pain.”

“Man, Overstreet, how are you not affected at all?”

“I have a super high tolerance!”

“Respect!” said Grant, as he took the aspirin.

“Come on, we’d better get to class.”

“Ughhhhhh”

Knox and Grant headed to class. Once inside the classroom, Grant practically growled. Knox,
wondering what had Grant all upset, turned to look where Grant was looking and saw none
other than Neil Perry.
 To Indeed Be a God!
Chapter Summary

Neil gets some exciting news and there's a cute Neil/Todd moment

Chapter Notes

I really hope you all like this chapter! HIt me up on @makeyourlivesextraordinary if

you want! Thanks to @wlwshehulk on tumblr for helping me with this chapter! She's
the best!

Neil’s POV

Neil had gotten really tired of just lying in bed all day. There had been many instances where
he had tried to cheat and stand up, but having Todd as a roommate was a curse as well as a
blessing sometimes. He knew Todd only cared about him by telling him to lay back down and
not try to get up again, but there were days he really wished Todd would go do his homework
in the library or something so he could get up for a while. He suspected Todd knew that’s
what was wanted from him and so that was precisely why he never did it.

The doctor had given him one more week on bedrest, but Neil wasn’t sure he could do one
more week. He felt he was going a little stir crazy. While everyone was still at school, he
decided to call the doctor and beg her to be taken off early. It probably wouldn’t work, but
what could he lose by asking? Oh yeah, just one more week of his life.

After being on hold for about five minutes, Neil finally got through to someone at the
doctor’s office. He stated his request and the nurse said she would get back to him. Neil hung
up the phone contented. Even if the answer was no, at least he had tried.

Neil had dozed off when he heard a knock on the door. Looking at the clock and seeing it was
only a little after one, he had no idea who could be at the door.

“It’s open,” he said.

When the door opened, Neil saw it was Dr. Sherbert.

“Oh, hello, Dr. I had no idea you were coming by today!”

“Well, I had some time so I thought I’d drop by. How’s everything going? The nurse
mentioned you called and wanted to see if you could be cleared for school early? Tired of
bedrest, huh?”

“Yes! I’m so tired of it! When I have homework to do it’s not so bad, but I’m caught up at the
moment and when everyone’s at school, I just get so bored. Plus, I miss being able to be there
with all of my friends.”

“Well, let me take a look at you and we’ll see what I can do. Are you still having trouble
breathing?”

“A little, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was and I’m not just saying that so that you’ll
consider releasing me from bedrest. I understand the severity of lying, trust me, and I can
assure you I am not lying.”

Dr. Sherbert laughed and said,

“Well, Neil, to be frank, you look great. Your injuries seem to have healed pretty well. I don’t
see anything wrong with you going back to school early, however, I am going to have to
insist on you using a cane for this week because it’s been a while since you’ve been
consistently up and around. Also, I think you should have someone walk around with you
just until you feel steady by yourself. You have a roommate, correct?”

“Yeah, Todd. I’m sure he’d love to take on that task. He’s been at my side the whole time
making sure I’m okay.”

Dr. Sherbert laughed and said,

“Then I guess it’s safe to assume he really cares for your well-being.”

Neil smiled and responded,

“Yeah, I think that’s a safe assumption.”

“Well, Neil, I’m gonna head home, but starting tomorrow, you can go back to school.”

“Thank you so much! You have no idea how much you are saving me!”

“Just stay out of trouble, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

“I hope I don’t see you again anytime soon, no offense.”

“None taken. I hope the same.”

“Have a good day, Neil. Good luck with school.”

“Thank you, Dr. Sherbert. For everything.”

***

Neil woke up the next morning, eager to start the day. Since he wanted it to be a surprise, he
hadn’t told Todd about what Dr. Sherbert had said. Instead, he waited until Todd headed off
to class the next morning before getting out of bed and ready.

It took him a bit longer than usual, and he knew that Dr. Sherbert would be annoyed that he
didn’t have anyone to help him, but he reasoned it was only one morning.
He grabbed the cane Dr. Sherbert had brought and the rest of the stuff he needed and headed
off to class.

He was so happy to be getting back into the routine of things. In his first class, he sat down
next to Todd, his usual seat, and Todd looked up and gasped.

“Just what do you think you’re doing out of bed?!” he whispered furiously.

“Todd, it’s okay. Dr. Sherbert cleared me early. I have to use this cane all week and I’ll need
your help to get around, but I’m allowed to be here.”

“Of course I’ll help you. Why didn’t you tell me this morning? I could’ve helped you get
here.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Neil looked around, taking in the scenery of his classroom. Never did he think he would be
so excited to be back. As he was about to turn back to Todd and say something, he noticed
just who was walking in the door.

Speaking of surprises, Neil thought, Grant is in this class with us.

Neil took Todd’s hand in his and he gestured for Todd to move in closer to him. He would’ve
leaned in himself, but he figured that was exactly the type of thing he shouldn’t be doing in
his current state.

“What is it, Neil?” asked Todd, looking confused.

“Grant is in this class. Don’t freak out, he wouldn’t dare do anything in class. He wouldn’t
want to get kicked out his first official day at Welton.”

Neil watched as Todd turned to look at Grant. His previously straight posture shifted into
more of a slouch and he shuddered. Neil was outraged that Grant was allowed to follow Todd
to a different school after all that he had put him through. Even if Neil didn’t know exactly
what he went through, he knew it had to have been bad for Todd to react to him the way he
did.

“N-Neil, I-,” Todd started.

“Don’t worry, I’m right here. And I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Todd nodded and held onto his hand right up until the bell rang and the teacher started class.
Neil kept sending reassuring glances to Todd all throughout class while also trying to hear
what Grant was saying to Knox. He couldn’t hear much, but most of it was insults about him.
Grant probably knew that Neil could hear a bit of he was saying, but that was okay. Grant
could say anything he wanted about him, just as long as Neil was able to keep Grant away
from Todd.

Class ended and Neil watched as Grant approached Todd with Knox trailing behind him. Neil
stood up, shakily, and blocked his way to Todd.

“Oh, you again? Ready for round two? I see you’re still recovering from the first time.”

“You can hurt me as many times as you want, but you will never touch Todd again, you hear
me?” Neil snarled.

“That’s cute, but not very threatening, I’m afraid. You might want to work on that. Bye,
Todd,” said Grant as he blew him a kiss and walked away.

Todd was visibly shaking and Neil was about to say something when their teacher said,

“Perry, Anderson, you need to get a move on if you don’t want to be late to your next class.
Oh and welcome back, Perry. It’s good to see you in class again.”

“I’m sorry, Neil, I shouldn’t have, I mean he just-,”

“You’re safe with me. Are you alright to go to class?”

“Yes, oh my goodness, I’m supposed to be helping you!”

Neil smiled as Todd extended his arm for Neil to hold onto.

The rest of the day passed without any incidents-Grant,or otherwise. Charlie had been really
excited to see Neil back on his feet. The three of them headed into the library to do their
homework because Neil had insisted on doing homework “anywhere but that damned room
I’ve been stuck in forever.”

There was hardly anyone in there which meant the boys could claim the best couch as their
own. They settled into their work but quickly became distracted with whatever came into
their minds. Neil had missed this-hanging out with his friends, laughing, and having a good
time. Of course, his friends had come to visit him when he was on bedrest, but it just hadn’t
been the same.

They had been there about an hour, when the door opened. Neil knew exactly who it was
from the way Todd gripped onto him. Why did Grant have to show up everywhere? Poor
Todd could never feel safe.

Neil and Todd were already sitting pretty close on the couch, but as soon as Todd had seen
Grant, he had cuddled up even closer to Neil and buried his face in his shoulder. Neil
wrapped his arm around Todd and the two of them sat like that with Charlie cooing at them
until Grant stormed off, huffing in protest.
“I guess he didn’t want to start something in the library,” said Charlie. “Mr. Fester would’ve
had his head.”

Neil giggled and Todd sat up, as if remembering he didn’t have to pretend to be Neil’s
boyfriend anymore. Neil sighed. He had been hoping Todd would stay like that forever.
 Show Me the Heart Unfettered by Foolish Dreams...
Chapter Summary

Charlie tries to make things right with Meeks.

Chapter Notes

Hey, friends! I'm excited to see reactions to this chapter! Thanks to @wlwshehulk on
tumblr for once again helping me out with this chapter!!! I hope you all enjoy!

Charlie’s POV

Charlie Dalton was not one to have many regrets. Usually, he made a decision and good or
bad outcome, he was okay with it. But lately, Charlie found himself missing Meeks and
regretting kissing him, if only because now they weren’t speaking.

He knew he had to make things right and he knew there was only one way he could do that,
as painful as it would be for him. He needed to locate Brandon on Facebook and explain to
him what had happened and that Meeks had no part in the kiss.

It didn’t take very long to locate his Facebook page. It’s not like Charlie could forget the face
of the boy who had stolen Meeks’ heart. Quickly, before he could talk himself out of it, he
sent a message to Brandon saying he was very sorry for kissing Meeks and that he knew
Meeks really liked him and he asked him to please not be angry with Meeks as he was just as
shocked and outraged at Charlie’s kiss as he was sure Brandon was.

Having said everything he needed to say, he hit send and slammed his laptop shut. It was out
of his hands now, he just hoped all hope wasn’t lost.

***

The sound of his phone going off woke him. It had been hours since he had messaged
Brandon and he had fallen asleep. Eager to see if that was indeed Brandon replying to him,
Charlie grabbed his phone and checked it. There was a message from Brandon and it said,

“Hey, thank you for this message and for apologizing. I have regretted breaking up with
Steven ever since I did it because I think I acted hastily. I was just so angry at the idea of him
kissing you, but since you’ve informed me he did not, that makes me feel a bit better about
things. Do you think he would answer the phone if I tried to call him?”
Charlie took a deep breath and then responded,

“Yes, I think you should definitely call him. It’s not too late if you want to do it now? And I
promise I’ll stay away from your man.”

Brandon replied, “Haha I appreciate that.”

Charlie hoped everything worked out for Meeks. He was okay with being miserable as long
as he knew he had done everything in his power to make things okay again.

Charlie had almost drifted off to sleep again when there was a knock on his door. Cursing
internally at whomever it was, he begrudgingly got up to answer it. As soon as he did, he
perked right up and nervously said,

“Meeks? What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

Charlie wasn’t quite convinced that he hadn’t fallen asleep and that this wasn’t a dream, but
after pinching himself and witnessing the confused look on Meeks’ face, he nodded and
moved aside to give Meeks room to come in.

“I just got an interesting phone call,” Meeks started.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Brandon called me and told me about your conversation.”

“Well, I meant what I said. I’ll stay away if that’s what you two would prefer. I know I ruined
things before, but I was selfish. You deserve happiness Meeks and I shouldn’t stand in
between that.”

“Charlie,” said Meeks, his voice soft, his eyes brimming over with tears. “That’s not what I
want at all. You’re my best friend and I want you in my life. If Brandon can’t stand that
you’re in my life, he’s not the guy for me, but I explained how important you are to me and
he said he’s cool with us being friends still.”

“Oh? Is it? Is it cool with him? Well, gee golly I feel better about it now. I’m glad I have
permission from some guy you’ve known for a month to continue being your best friend
still.”

“What is up with you, Charlie? I don’t understand you lately. First, you, you kiss me and then
you do something so incredibly sweet, and now you’re back to being cold. I can’t deal with
not knowing where I stand with you.”

“I love you, Meeks. I can’t help it, but I do. I know that changes things. I know things will
probably be irrevocably different between us, but that’s how I feel. So be with Brandon, don’t
be with Brandon, I don’t care, but I can’t sit here and pretend that I can just revert back to the
way things were. I just need you to know that I’m sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have
kissed you when I knew you were seeing someone and were happy. It was incredibly wrong
of me to do such a thing and I really regret doing it. I know I ruined everything and so it
would really be easier if we just weren’t friends anymore.”

“NO! No! You don’t get to just decide something like that! You don’t get to just throw me
aside as if our friendship means nothing.”

“Good night, Meeks.”

The last thing Charlie saw before closing the door was the devastated look on Meeks’ face.

Charlie felt numb. He was sure there would be a time in the near future when the severity of
what he had done would hit him and he would cry and cry until the tears just wouldn’t pour
out anymore, but for now, all he could do was stare off into space.

***

The following morning, he was awoken by a very concerned-looking Neil and closely behind
him was Todd.

“Charlie? Are you okay?”

“Go away, Neil.”

“Charlie, it’s time for class.”

“Screw class. I’m not going.”

“But, Charlie-,”

“Neil, I just can’t, okay?”

Charlie didn’t miss the look of surprise that flashed on Neil’s face before Todd led him out of
the room. He didn’t feel like talking about it, but he certainly couldn’t deal with school right
now.

Charlie sat in silence, staring at the wall until suddenly, he was sobbing uncontrollably. What
had he done? Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he just be okay with being friends with
Meeks despite his feelings for him? Or better yet, why couldn’t he just get over Meeks? Then
there would be no problems and they could just be best friends and none of this ever would
be a problem. And he could’ve been spared from the immense amount of pain he was
currently feeling.

Charlie cried and cried until he was too tired to cry anymore. His phone started ringing and
he saw it was Meeks. Why was Meeks even trying to call him? If he was Meeks, he would’ve
been pissed at the way he had treated him.

Not ready to talk to Meeks, he hit ignore. He thought Meeks would give up, but the phone
just kept ringing and ringing. Finally, the ringing stopped and his phone showed he had a
voicemail. Curious, but nervous as to what Meeks would say in that voicemail, Charlie
clicked play.
“Charlie, I know you don’t want to talk to me and I get that, but I didn’t know who else to
call. There’s been an incident and Todd’s a wreck. Just thought you’d want to know. Please
call me back.”
 Go Teach Thyself More Wit
Chapter Summary

Charlie has a heart-to-heart with Neil and deals with a confrontation from Grant.

Chapter Notes

I'm really really proud of this chapter and I hope everyone likes it! Huge thank you to
@wlwshehulk on tumblr for always being such a great beta and helping me really bring
this story together! It wouldn't be what it is without her and I appreciate her greatly!

Charlie's POV
Fight with Meeks be damned, Charlie knew he had to go see what the hell had just happened.
Meeks had sounded really freaked out and he said that Todd was a wreck.

Did Grant do something to Todd? If that asshole even touched a hair on Todd’s head,
he’d...well, he wasn’t quite sure how to finish that thought. He should have been there. He
shouldn’t have been so selfish skipping school when he knew Neil was still weak and not
strong enough to fend off Grant.

He realized, as he was walking out the door, that he had no idea where they were. Meeks had
said to call, so whipping out his phone, he quickly hit the speed dial for Meeks and waited. It
barely started ringing when Meeks picked up.

“Charlie, thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly. I’m with Todd in the hallway.
Neil and Grant have been called into Gordon’s office and he’ll probably want to speak with
us next.”

“Gordon is involved? What happened, Meeks?” Charlie asked, frantically trying to piece
together in his mind what could have possibly happened from what little information he was
given.

“Just get here. I’ll explain everything then,” said Meeks and before Charlie could say
anything else, he hung up.

Charlie walked as fast as he possibly could and soon, he was standing next to Meeks and
Todd, who were sitting on a bench in the main hallway of the school. While catching his
breath, he noticed Meeks comforting a nearly hysterical Todd. When he was finally able to
speak, he asked,
“What happened?”

“It was awful, Charlie. One minute, Grant had his arm on Todd and the next minute, Knox
had stepped in front of Grant before Neil could hit him with his cane. Instead, the cane hit
Knox and he was bleeding pretty badly.

“Knox defending Grant? Why would he do such a thing?”

“Charlie,” said Meeks, looking at him exasperatedly. “It was actually really smart of Knox to
do that. The more Grant trusts him, the more your little plan will work or had you forgotten
all about that?”

The last sentence was aimed at him with disdain and Charlie figured he deserved that. The
fact that Knox was hurt was all his fault and this fact was just occurring to him. He had to sit
down.

“I-I knew this w-would happen,” said Todd between sobs. “I w-warned you all. And n-now
Knox is hurt because of me.”

“No, Todd. This is not your fault. The rest of us are responsible for Knox getting hurt, but not
you.”

“I’m the dummy who dated Grant in the first place and now people are getting hurt because
he will stop at nothing to get me back.”

“Todd-,” Charlie started.

“No, I don’t want to talk anymore. I just want to see if we can visit Knox yet.”

“Okay, Todd, I’ll take you,” said Meeks.

“But what about Gordon? I thought he wanted to talk to you two.”

“We won’t be very long,” said Meeks. Under his breath, he murmured, “Handle this,” to
Charlie before the two of them walked towards the nurse’s office.

***

Charlie remained sitting on the bench, wondering when Neil and Grant would emerge. He
knew Neil was trying to protect Todd, but was he so lovestruck that he had to attack people
with his cane?! And Meeks had a point, Knox’s smart-thinking kept his cover intact. This
whole thing was just a big mess. If it wasn’t so stressful-meaning if it didn’t involve his
friends-this is the kind of drama he would be lapping up.

Lost in thought, he didn’t immediately notice Neil emerging from the assistant principal’s
office. It was only when there was movement right next to him, that he looked up to see Neil
sitting beside him.

Looking around to make sure nobody was nearby and could overhear him, Charlie started in
on him.
“What were you thinking, Neil?! I get it, the guy’s an asshole, but-,”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you. You should have been there, Charlie. We all made a pact to
protect Todd from him, but where were you, huh?”

“Not everything is about your little boyfriend, okay? I had my own shit going on.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I tried to get you to talk to me about it and you blew me off so…”

Charlie sighed. He hadn’t meant to get so mad at Neil. He was right. Charlie had agreed to do
anything he could to protect Todd and he had bailed on that to throw his own self-pity party.

“So, exactly how much trouble are you in?”

“Grant wanted Knox to press charges against me, but obviously Knox insisted that wasn’t
necessary. I still have detention for two weeks though.”

“And Grant?”

“Not in trouble at all. That asshole knows how to charm his way out of any situation. He
claimed that he and Knox were ‘minding their own business’ and I just ‘casually decided to
hit Knox with my cane.’”

“And Gordon bought that?”

“We don’t call him Pushover for no reason.”

“But wait, what about Todd and Meeks? They were both there, they could-,”

“No, Charlie. I told Gordon not to involve them. I said it was my thing. He thinks I’m
emotionally unstable.” Neil sighed before continuing, “I also have to see a counselor.”

“What?! But you’re not the unstable one! Booth is!”

“Well, if it keeps what I did from the press and the law, I’ll take it.”

Charlie sighed, taking everything in. He wasn’t sure he should be the bearer of even more
bad news, but he figured Neil had a right to know Todd was pissed.

“Have you talked to Todd since? Did he say anything to you after?”

“No, I haven’t talked to him about it. Is he okay?”

Charlie found it hard to look him in the eyes as he said,

“He’s pissed, Neil.”

“Pissed? Why?”

“He said he knew this would happen. He knew Knox would get hurt, but I think he expected
Grant would be the one to hurt him, not you.”
“Well, what was I supposed to do, Charlie? Just let Grant put his hands all over Todd when he
didn’t want that?”

“You need to stop with the hero complex, Neil. What was Grant going to do to Todd in the
middle of the hallway, hmm? You should have just gotten Todd away from him instead of
escalating things.”

“You’re defending him?!”

“No, but I think your obsession with having to jump in every time Grant even breathes at
Todd is getting dangerous.”

Neil looked like he was going to defend himself, but then he sighed.

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I’m starting to stoop to his level and I’m not that guy. I
don’t want to be that guy. I just hate how Grant is allowed to be here when Todd gets so
scared any time he’s around.”

“I know, Neil, and I’m sorry. You were right too. I should have been there. And I will always
be there from now on, okay?”

Neil smiled and said,

“Thank you, Charlie” before giving him a hug.

“Now, take care of yourself. Don’t go getting into any more altercations until you’re
completely healed, alright?”

Neil just laughed and said, “I won’t, I promise.”

“I’m going to go see if I can visit Knox.”

“I should do that as well, to properly apologize, but I’ll let you go see him now.”

Charlie waved goodbye and headed towards the nurse’s office. As he got closer, he saw that
Grant was in there and so he decided to act like it was always his intention to turn instead of
going into the nurse’s office.

He was about to turn to head back to the dorms when he heard a voice.

“Your boy isn’t very good with aim, is he? If you ask me, he got lucky. If it had been me he
had hit, you can bet your ass I would be pressing charges, but my man Knox is a bit of a
softie.” Grant scoffed and then continued, “That’s nothing time with me can’t change.”

Grant approached him and, with a smirk on his face, said,

“Perry has a flair for the violent, doesn’t he? That’s twice now he’s tried-and-failed, I might
add-to attack me. Todd certainly has a type.”
Charlie, who up until this point, wasn’t going to dignify anything Grant was saying with a
response, snarled and said,

“Neil is nothing like you and he never will be. Don’t forget who Todd chose, Booth.”

“We all make poor decisions sometimes and Todd will soon realize the big one he made
leaving me. And I’ll be waiting for that moment.”

“He will never go back to what you two had so give up, Booth.”

Grant, who up until this point, had a smug look on his face, dropped it in favor of an eerie
grin.

“Don’t pretend you know anything about my relationship with Todd, Dalton.”

“Don’t pretend what you had with Todd was a relationship, Booth.”

At this point, the two of them were in each other’s faces. So close, in fact, an outsider might
think they were about to kiss.

Charlie stood there, staring him down until Knox emerged from the nurse’s office.

“Booth, you done flirting with Dalton there? I’m good to go so let’s head out.”

Grant gave Charlie one final glare and then joined Knox, heading the opposite way Charlie
had been planning to.

Charlie stood there, about to walk away, when he saw Knox turn and wink at him.

He smiled to himself. Grant Booth was going down.

 'Tis Not Too Late to Seek a Newer World
Chapter Summary

Todd is angry with Neil, but they work it out.

Chapter Notes

We start to see a little peek of that Anderperry we all so desperately seek. ;) Thanks to
@wordshakers for her help on this chapter!!! I hope you all enjoy!

Todd’s POV

Things had gotten messy and Todd did not like that. He hated feeling like he was the cause of
now two people’s pain, but he knew it was all his fault. It was him and him alone Grant
wanted and it seemed he would stop at nothing to get him back.

He had warned everyone that Knox spying on Grant for them was a bad idea and now look at
what happened. He was also very angry with Neil because yes, Grant had approached them in
the middle of the hallway, and yes, he had put his hands on him, but Neil did not have to be
so violent with trying to fend Grant off. The result was Knox having gotten hurt and Todd
feeling more anxious than ever.

His visit with Knox had put him at ease a little bit. Knox assured him that he was fine, he had
just gotten a bloody nose, but other than that he was okay. He had also told Todd that he was
not going to stop spying on Grant. Even when Todd tried to object, Knox told him he felt
what Neil did was a good thing and that since he stepped in and took the blow for Grant, that
would make Grant trust him more now than ever before.

Meeks walked him back to his dorm room and told him to call him if he needed anything. He
thanked Meeks and then headed inside where he would wait until Neil would return.

He was getting nervous. He didn’t quite know what to say, how to act, or if he should even
say anything at all. Neil had been trying to do a good thing defending him, so maybe he
should just let it go; however, it had resulted in one of his friends getting hurt so Todd knew
he had to say something.

He didn’t have to wait too much longer before Neil was entering their room. Neil approached
him, slowly, cautiously, and upon looking at his face, Todd found he didn’t recognize the
look Neil wore. He looked almost scared to approach Todd, as if Todd would rip his head off
if he came any closer.

Neil took a deep breath, swallowing, as if to begin speaking, when Todd said,

“Don’t say anything, Neil. I’ve been practicing, trying to think of what I should say to you,
for a while now and if I don’t get it out I never will, but I need to.”

Neil merely nodded, sitting down on the edge of his bed, looking at Todd.

“Your actions caused Knox to get hurt and that’s why I’m so mad. I know, I mean, I realize
that you were looking after me, but I didn’t want Knox to be in danger and I didn’t want
people sticking their necks out for me. I, I appreciate what you were trying to do, but you
don’t have to resort to violence every time you see Grant. In fact, it would be better for all of
us if you didn’t. You don’t want Grant Booth as an enemy, trust me, and the fact that you’re
pretending to be my boyfriend is already a strike against you. I don’t want anyone to get
hurt.”

Especially not you. Todd was shocked as that thought popped into his head, but he shook the
thought away.

“You’re right, Todd. I’m sorry. I really am. I shouldn’t have done that. I acted rashly. Please
forgive me.”

“I do forgive you, Neil, but please just be careful. You’re barely off bedrest and if you ask
me, you shouldn’t have been allowed off early.”

Todd, upon seeing the look of hurt that flashed on Neil’s face, quickly said,

“Not because I don’t enjoy having you up and around, I’m just worried about you. I
remember what you looked like when Grant first hurt you and I don’t want anything to cause
you to be in pain anymore.”

“I promise I’m taking care of myself.”

Todd gave him a look.

“Okay, so I could do better, you caught me.”

“You need to lie down, you only just started to get back to your routine and it’s a lot more
movement than I’m sure you’re used to.”

“Todd, I’m the one who should be taking care of you after everything I put you through
today.”

While it was true Todd had been angry with Neil, he found it really hard to stay that way. He
knew Neil had his best interest at heart and he had Neil’s. Right now, his best interest was to
get some rest and he made that very clear when he replied,

“Nonsense, lie down, Perry! I will call Dr. Sherbert if you don’t!”
“Okay, okay, Todd. I’ll lie down, but you have to lie down next to me. We both need the rest
and I would feel better having someone with me, you know, in case I fall off the bed or
something like that.

Todd just laughed and said,

“Neil, I’m not lying down next to you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Well then you might as well call Dr. Sherbert then because I will not cooperate with you.”

Why is he insisting on this? Doesn’t he realize how that will look if someone comes in here?
Oh, he’s probably trying to sell that we’re actually a couple if someone does come in here.
That must be it.

“Fine, I’ll lie down next to you, you big baby.”

“You did not just call me a baby, Anderson!”

“I did because that’s what you’re being,” said Todd in a teasing tone with the biggest smile
on his face.

He lied down on Neil’s bed, trying to get as far as he possibly could from Neil, but with it
being a twin bed, that was a little difficult.

“You can get closer, Todd, unless you’re trying to fall off the bed?”

Todd moved in a bit closer to Neil, but faced out from him. He wasn’t trying to be in Neil’s
way.

Neil gently turned him so that he was facing him. Their faces were so close. If Todd knew
this wasn’t all fake, he might think Neil wanted to kiss him. But that was a ridiculous
thought. Neil Perry would never feel that way about him, even if he was starting to feel that
way about Neil.

“What has you in such deep contemplation, Todd?” Neil asked softly.

There was no way Todd could actually tell him what he had been thinking about. He felt how
hot his cheeks felt and he just knew he was blushing. Damn his stupid complexion that
showed off his embarrassment so easily.

“Todd? Are you feeling alright? Your face is very red all of a sudden. Maybe I should feel
your forehead.”

Neil touched his hand to Todd’s forehead and Todd shivered.

“Well, you don’t feel warm. Do you feel okay?”

“Yes, I feel fine. I’m not sure what’s up with my face,” Todd lied.
It was very important to Todd that Neil not find out the real reason his face had turned red.
Neil had quickly become such a good friend of his and he couldn’t risk that friendship. Yes, it
was true he had developed a bit of a crush on Neil, but he could grin and bear it if he was able
to maintain that friendship that had become so important to him.

“Well, if you’re sure you feel okay-,”

“I’m sure. Promise. That would not be good if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t want to get you sick on
top of how injured you are.”

“I’m not that injured anymore, Todd. There’s no need to worry about me.”

“How can I not worry? You tried to defend my honor by fighting and it’s my fault you got
hurt at all.”

“Todd,” said Neil, looking him in the eyes. “It is not your fault I got hurt. I was the drunken
idiot who decided I could take on all of that and get out completely unscathed.”

“Still. I don’t know if I’ve told you how much it meant to me that you stepped in. I mean, you
didn’t even know me and you jumped to my rescue. I mean, maybe it’s selfish of me, but I
am glad that night happened. I got to meet you.”

“I’m glad that night happened too, Todd. I wouldn’t have changed any of it. Hell, I’d even
relive it if I had to.”

“Well hopefully living through it once was enough,” Todd replied and Neil laughed.

Todd noticed that Neil kind of winced when he laughed and he also noticed that Neil was
trying to play it off as if it didn’t hurt him as much as it so clearly did.

Todd got up off the bed and Neil protested.

“What are you doing, Todd?”

Todd dug around in his drawers until he found the pain meds the doctor had given him for if
Neil looked like he needed them and was being too stubborn to take them.

“You’re going to take this to help with the pain.”

“What? Todd! I’m fine. I don’t need those!”

“Yes, you do! I saw your face when you laughed just now. You’re not as recuperated as you
would like to be and as you let on to everyone else. Well, everyone else may not notice it, but
I do and I’m going to have to insist on you taking these.”

Neil groaned and said, “I hate taking those! They make me feel so groggy. It’s awful.”

“Well, you were already going to rest, so perfect timing.”

Neil looked like he was going to argue some more, but then Todd glared at him and he said,
“Fine, I’ll take them. Geez, you can be scary when you want to!”

“I’m sorry, Neil, I’m not trying to be mean, I just worry.”

“I know, Todd, I’m sorry I’m so stubborn.”

Once Neil took the pills, he looked thrilled that Todd laid back down next to him.

The two kept talking for a little bit before Todd realized Neil’s eyes were starting to droop.
Todd tried to sneak off the bed so Neil could sleep, but Neil let out a groan of protest and
pulled Todd closer to himself. Todd couldn’t find it in himself to be even a little bit mad
about this and pretty soon, the two of them were fast asleep.
 The Casualties Could Be Your Hearts and Souls
Chapter Summary

Neil's first day of detention and he and Charlie have a talk.

Chapter Notes

Hello, friends! I know it has been a while and I thank you for your patience. I had an
event I was participating in for a different fandom and that's where all my attention has
been the last few months. But now, I am back, and I have plans for the next few chapters
:)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Charlie checked his watch. Where are they? Usually, they’re here by now. He had been
waiting for Neil and Todd, as he did every day, and they were nowhere to be found. And in
about ten minutes, they were going to be late.

Charlie sighed, heading to their room. He knew it bothered Neil when he just barged in, so he
knocked. There was no answer.

“That’s it,” he said to himself. “They’ve given me no choice.”

He opened the door and what he saw made him regret the fact that he was going to have to
wake them up. Todd and Neil were fast asleep, curled up in each other’s arms, with Todd’s
head resting on Neil’s chest.

Charlie smirked to himself. He was going to give Neil so much shit for this later.

“Neil, Todd, wake up! You’re gonna be late for school!”

Todd startled awake first and looked up at Charlie. Then, seeming to realize where he was,
his face turned bright red and he scooted as far away from Neil as he could which wasn’t
much because it’s a twin-sized bed.

Neil opened his eyes and blinked them rapidly. “Charlie? What’s going on?”

“What’s going on is that unless you hurry, you’re going to be late for school.”

“Wait, what? We slept for 14 hours?! That’s the last time I take those pain meds, they just
knocked me out!”

Todd looked up at Charlie and said, “Charlie, could you tell Mr. Porter that we’re on our way
and that Neil’s injuries were cause for our delay?”

Charlie nodded and left the room. Todd turned to Neil and said, “It’s gonna be okay, Neil.
They’ll understand.”

“Yeah, I know, I just feel so disoriented. I hate feeling this way.” Neil tried to get up, but
Todd put a hand on his chest.

“Get up, gently, Neil! Don’t hurt yourself more than you already are! Do you want me to go
without you? I can tell Mr. Porter you’re in pain.”

“Don’t you dare, Todd! I can do this. Where’s my cane?”

Todd went over to where Neil had left his cane from the day before and brought it to him. He
helped him slowly get up and out of the bed like he had done every day he’d been there since
he’d gotten hurt.
He helped Neil get dressed and then they left the room. While they were getting ready, they
hadn’t talked, and Todd was starting to think they wouldn’t be talking when Neil said,

“Don’t wait for me after school today. I have to go to detention, remember?”

Todd looked down and said, “Oh yeah, I had forgotten. Do you want me to come to get you
when it’s over?”

“No, it’s okay. Charlie had mentioned wanting to hang out tonight, so he can help me.”

Todd nodded and with that, they walked into the classroom. Mr. Porter gave them a look but
said nothing as they took their seats, and after having Mr. Porter for only a few weeks, Todd
knew that was the best possible response they could have gotten from him.

Todd tried and tried to focus during class, but he couldn’t. He just kept thinking about the
night before and how, if he were braver, more sure of himself, he easily could have leaned in
and kissed Neil. And he wanted to, oh, how he wanted to.

If Charlie hadn’t woken them up, he would have been content to just spend all day in bed
with Neil, sleeping, and cuddling.

This thought startled him. A lot of thoughts he’d been having about Neil startled him lately.
What Neil had done for him had been the nicest, most courageous thing he had ever seen
before, but that didn’t mean Neil wanted him. That didn’t mean Neil could ever want him. He
was a shy pushover who had ended up dating the wrong person, and Neil was, well, Neil was
strong, brave, he stood firmly, proudly. He knew who he was. The only thing Todd knew was
that he wanted to be someone Neil Perry could want.

He would never admit this to anyone, but he was kind of disappointed that Neil was hanging
out with Charlie after detention. He was hoping they could hang out, but it was good Neil
was hanging out with his best friend. And now he had no reason to avoid working on his
homework so he supposed he could get that done.
***

The day passed slowly and Neil was feeling very worn out which was ridiculous considering
how long he had slept the night before.

He didn’t like how his head was feeling kind of cloudy since taking the pain medication. It
hadn’t been a problem when he wasn’t in school and needed the rest, but now, he decided, he
really needed to not take them if it was going to make him conk out and not be able to get
any work done.

He also kept thinking about how he and Todd had slept in the same bed together and how he
wished it could be like every night. He had honestly never gotten a better night’s sleep than
the previous night and it was because of Todd.

They had been so close, Neil could’ve leaned in and kissed him right then and there. He
quickly shook the thought away.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. Todd was his roommate, his friend, his fake boyfriend,
but not his real one. Just because he had defended him from his asshole ex-boyfriend, did not
mean that Todd wanted to date him for real, and it didn’t mean that Neil had any claim over
him.

But oh, if that Grant so much as touched a hair on Todd’s head, he’d lose it. He’d fight
Todd’s ex a thousand times, get hurt over and over again if it meant he stayed away from
Todd.

He half wanted to bail on Charlie, tell him he was tired or something, and just go back to his
dorm so he could see Todd, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Charlie had seemed excited to
get to spend time with him and so he would go and he would have a good time. Charlie
couldn’t keep him from thinking about Todd even if he tried though.

***

“How was detention?” asked Charlie as he linked arms with Neil to help him keep steady.
“Oh, you know, as interesting as writing lines can be.”

“What did Pushover have you write? ‘I must not beat people with my cane?’”Charlie asked
with a snort.

“No, ‘I must control my temper’, but I like your version better. And I typically don’t beat
people with my cane, Charlie, you know I only reserve that for Grant Booth.”

“Tell that to Knox,” Charlie retorted.

“How is Knox? He doing okay?”

Charlie laughed. “He’s fine. Texted me so this morning. Grant still doesn’t suspect a thing
and he’s thrilled that getting you in trouble made Grant trust him even more. He sends his
regards though.”

Neil snorted. “Yeah, it sounds like he’s really sincere.”

“Well, maybe he’s always secretly hated you and so he’s dying to take you down and just
needed an excuse to do so.”

“Don’t make me laugh, Dalton,” Neil said wincing.

“The rib still hurts, huh?”

“Yeah, I mean, I did insist on getting taken off bedrest a week early so I did bring this on
myself, but you try being cooped up for 3 weeks, not being able to go anywhere!”
“Thanks, but I’d rather not,” Charlie said.

They were almost to Charlie’s room when he exclaimed, “Oh, I forgot to tell you the good
news! Cameron’s out for the night. He had a family thing.”

“Everything alright?”

“Oh yeah, I don’t think it’s anything serious, I think they were having some kind of
celebration for his dad’s company and he wanted to attend so he got permission to go home
for a couple days. Meaning we get the place to ourselves!”

Neil smiled and they walked the rest of the way to Charlie’s room. Charlie opened the door
and helped Neil get settled on a bed and then he leaned down to lift up one of his floorboards
where he kept his secret alcohol stash. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and then got on the
bed beside Neil.

“You spoil me, Dalton,” said Neil as Charlie extended the bottle towards him, letting him
have the first swallow.

“I’ve been waiting for you to come around so we could put this to good use.”

“I’m sorry it’s been a while since we’ve hung out.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You’d rather spend time with your boyfriend,” said Charlie, in a teasing
tone.

“Charlie, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you wish he was.”

Neil didn’t answer, taking another drink from the bottle.

“I saw you two all cozied up this morning. It was sweet.”

“Charlie, don’t,” Neil said as he passed the bottle back to them.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop teasing and ask you this instead: are you ever gonna tell him
how you really feel?”

Neil grabbed for the bottle and took a long gulp and then said, “No, not anytime soon, at
least.”

“Well, why not, Perry? The boy is clearly enamored with you.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“It only feeds my hopes and I don’t need anything else to do that. My brain already does it
enough. Since we’re on the subject of things we’d rather not talk about, how are you holding
up since Meeks? Has he spoken to you?”

“Oh my god. You don’t know, do you?”

“I don’t know what?”

“With all the fuss with Grant, I never got around to telling you. He did come talk to me. He
said that his boyfriend gave him permission to be friends with me. I said fat chance,” Charlie
spat out.
“Charlie, why would you do that?”

“Because,” Charlie said, quietly, tears starting to stream down his face. “Because I love him
so much it hurts, Neil. It’s easier to just not be around him than to endure that.”

They sat in silence, just passing the bottle back and forth.

***

Todd was almost done with his homework, thankfully. He was working on Trig and it was
causing a headache. He just wanted to be done. He had three problems left to go. He was in
the middle of writing when his pencil lead broke. He wanted to scream.

He stood up, searching the room desperately to see if there was another pencil. He checked
all the drawers in his desk, not finding any anywhere. Where had all the pencils disappeared
to?

He debated with himself whether he should check Neil’s desk for pencils before he decided it
was probably fine. He looked in each of his drawers and there weren’t any there either. He
decided to go across the hall and ask Cameron. He’d probably have some.

He went across the hall and stood outside the door, ready to knock, when he heard voices.

“Do you remember that night we spent together, Neil? God, that was fun,” Charlie said and
then laughed. He sounded drunk.

Todd couldn’t believe what he had heard...Charlie and Neil had slept together?
 He was shocked. He didn’t quite know what to do. So he did the only thing he could think to
do and ran.

Chapter End Notes

If you would like to yell at me, please feel free to do so in the comments or over on my
DPS tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 O Captain, My Captain!
Chapter Summary

Todd stumbles upon a friend and the two of them talk. Neil has several visitors.

Chapter Notes

Hello, hello, again! Here's Chapter 18! I hope you enjoy it!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Todd didn’t know where he was going, he just knew he couldn’t stop. It was still early
enough for him to not get in trouble for going outdoors, but even if it wasn’t, he couldn’t
bring himself to care.

He had to get away. He had to process, to think through what he had just heard. Of course
Neil and Charlie were interested in each other. Of course Neil wouldn’t want him. Anything
nice he had ever done for Todd was just that: something nice and nothing more. He acted like
a good person because he was a good person. He had seen Grant starting to get violent and he
had intervened because that’s what good people do. They intervene.

He also couldn’t chase away the bitter thoughts he was feeling towards Charlie. So what? He
claimed he was in love with Meeks, but still had to have Neil too? He couldn’t have them all.
Or maybe he could. Because he was Charlie Dalton and everybody loved him.

Todd stopped running and tried to catch his breath when he stumbled upon a pond that was a
fair bit away from campus. This was the perfect place for him to settle down and try to make
sense of all the thoughts swirling around in his head. A place for him to calm down.

He intended to do just that when he realized there was someone there already. He started to
back away, to go find another place, when the person turned to look at him.
“Todd? Are you okay?” It was Meeks and he looked a bit worse for wear himself.

“Meeks, sorry, I-,” Todd paused, not quite sure how to finish his explanation. Luckily, he
didn’t have to before Meeks was patting the ground beside him, indicating he should join
him.

“You’re having a rough night too, huh?” Meeks asked and Todd merely nodded.

Meeks spoke again. “Listen, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We can just
sit here together in silence and I’d be totally cool with that, but I do want you to know that
I’m here for you if you need someone to vent to.”

Todd nodded once again and the two did sit in silence together for quite a while. Then, as
much as he wished he could stop it, Todd started crying. He wished he could shove the tears
back into his eyes, stop them from coming, anything, but he couldn’t. He had to just let them
out.

Meeks looked at him, his concern evident.

Todd noticed this and said, “Sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen, I just, I just
couldn’t stop the tears from coming.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Todd, and I’m so sorry you’re upset. Was it Grant? Did he do
something?”

“No, it wasn’t Grant. And I’m just being ridiculous anyway,” said Todd, who was trying to
calm himself down and wiping the tears from his eyes.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

Todd debated with himself about whether he should tell Meeks. It wasn’t really his thing to
tell and so he probably should just keep it to himself, but also, he figured Meeks had a right
to know, if he didn’t already. It affected him too, or at least, he assumed. Meeks had never
said it outright, but it was kind of obvious how much he cared for Charlie.

“Charlie and Neil slept together. I, I heard Charlie mention it when I went to go ask if I could
borrow a pencil.”

Meeks let out a breath and Todd looked at him.

“He never told you, did he?”

“No, he didn’t. I thought we had told each other everything, Todd, but I guess I’ve been
keeping a secret from him too.”

Todd, surprised, his eyes wide open, asked, “What? Really?”

Meeks sighed. “I liked him. For so long, Todd, and I would always question whether he liked
me too, but he never said anything so I just assumed I was wrong. I gave myself a timeline,
told myself I couldn’t like him anymore, and when that time passed and he didn’t say
anything, I knew it was time to move on. That’s why I got so angry. His timing was just off.
And now I’ve met Brandon and I really like him. I’m hurt, Todd, hurt that he waited, hurt that
he refuses to talk to me, all of it. I get it, he doesn’t want me to see him any more messed up
than I already have, but it wouldn’t matter. He’s my best friend.”

“I’m sorry, Meeks. That must be really frustrating.”

“It is. You go one day from having a best friend and being able to talk to him all the time to
the next where said best friend is telling you he can’t be friends with you anymore and is
slamming a door in your face,” said Meeks, tears brewing up in his eyes. “And do you wanna
know what the worst part is? I can’t even be mad at him. Instead I’m worrying about him. All
the time. About if his drinking is becoming a problem again.”
Meeks closed his eyes and then looked at Todd in a panic. “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that.
Please don’t ever mention that to anyone. That’s not something I want getting spread around.
He’d be devastated.”

“I won’t say anything, Meeks, I promise.”

The two sat in silence once more before Meeks asked,

“So you like Neil, huh?”

Todd turned away from him, unable to look him in the eye.

“I guess we’re just a couple of lovestruck fools, aren’t we?”

“I, I have no right to feel as angry as I do about this, Meeks. I mean, he’s, he’s not my
boyfriend. Not really.”

“Todd, it’s not about what you have a right to. Hearing that was a shock to you and so you
got angry and ran away. It happens, but I’ll just say this. Don’t let it tarnish your image of
Neil, or Charlie, for that matter. They’re not tied to anyone so whether this was something
from long ago or a recent development, that doesn’t matter. They have a right to sleep with
whomever they want. You can be upset about it, but just don’t do anything rash, okay?”

“You’re right, Meeks. Thank you.” Todd was still upset, but he was doing everything in his
power to try to take Meeks’ advice.

Meeks stood up and reached out a hand to help Todd up.

“Let’s head back inside before they sound the alarms and come for our heads.”
Todd laughed.

Meeks said, “If you still need time to cool off, you can always stay with Pitts and me for the
night.”

“That would be great, thank you.”

***

Charlie and Neil were laughing, talking, reminiscing together on Charlie’s bed when they
heard a noise in the hallway.

“Did you hear that?” Neil slurred.

“Yeah. You stay here. I’m gonna go check and see what’s going on.”

Charlie poked his head out of his door, into the hallway, and saw nothing.

“That’s strange,” he said, closing the door again. “There’s nothing there.”

“Must’ve been a ghost,” Neil giggled.

“Yeah, the ghost of all my wrongdoings finally coming to haunt me,” Charlie said and the
two of them laughed.

They talked for a bit longer and then they drifted off to sleep.

***
The next morning, Neil awoke to the alarm going off. He was cursing everything. The alarm,
for making noise. School, for existing. Time, for passing by too quickly. All of it. If there was
a thing Neil Perry could be mad at this ugly morning, he was.

He stumbled out of Charlie’s bed and headed into his room, expecting to find Todd there. He
did not.

He rushed back over to Charlie’s room and shook him awake.

“Charlie?”

“Go away, Neil. I’m not getting up until I absolutely have to!”

“Charlie, where’s Todd?”

“Huh? What? Neil, are you still drunk? He’s probably in your room getting ready for school.”

“He’s not, Charlie! Where is he?”

“Don’t panic, Neil. He probably went for breakfast or something.”

“Or Grant has him and is doing god knows what to him!” Neil exclaimed.

Charlie sat up at that and said,

“Oh my god, Neil! You are being very paranoid this morning!”
“This isn’t a joke, Charlie! I’m actually concerned.”

“Neil, go back to your room and start getting ready. I’m sure he’ll turn up.”

“You are no help at all!” Neil shouted and went back to his room.

He searched for his phone and was just composing a text to send to Knox when Todd walked
in the room.

Neil looked up and said, “Oh there you are, Todd! I was wondering where you were!”

Todd froze, upon seeing him.

“Is something wrong, Todd? Where have you been? Are you okay?”

“ ‘m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine. You seem upset. What happened?”

“I don’t want to tell you anything. I’m going to class.”

“But, Todd, wait!”

Todd left the room, slamming the door behind him. Neil winced, the door slam had not
helped his hangover.
Neil got into his bed and shut his eyes. Todd was obviously upset with him, but he had no
idea why or what he had done. He was too tired and too hungover for this…

***

Neil woke up to the sound of someone talking. He opened his eyes, and to his horror,
discovered Pushover in his room. Oh, he was really in for it now.

“Sir, I’m so sorry I missed class and detention today. I wasn’t feeling very well.”

“Yes, that’s why I’m here. Mr. Anderson mentioned to me that you seemed to be displaying
signs of discomfort still when you’ve been off bed rest this week. He told me that he was
concerned about you and I have to say, I am too, Mr. Perry. I think that instead of detention,
you should just go back to being on bed rest as was originally intended.”

Neil didn’t even fight him on it, just giving in with a sigh.

“I still do think you should speak to a counselor, Mr. Perry, and so I’ll be sending one in later
this afternoon.”

Neil nodded. “Yes sir.”

“Okay, well, I hope you start feeling better soon, Mr. Perry. Have a good day.”

“You too, sir.”

Neil’s eyes were growing heavy and he fell asleep once more.

***
He woke from his sleep to a knock on the door. He was feeling a lot better, his head not
hurting nearly as much as it had this morning.

“Come in,” he called out.

A man came into the room, Neil assumed it was one of the counselors, but Neil had never
seen this one before.

The man came inside, shutting the door behind him and he said,

“Hello, Mr. Perry. My name is Mr. Keating. I’m the school’s new counselor and Mr. Gordon
asked me to come talk to you.”

“Hello, yes sir. He told me you’d be coming to see me today. I’m sorry I couldn’t go to you.
I, uh, found myself in a bit of a situation.”

“Yes, so I had heard. A bicycle accident, right?” asked Mr. Keating with a smirk on his face
and Neil panicked. He didn’t like that look. It seemed to imply that Keating knew it had not
actually been a bicycle accident at all.

“May I have a seat, Mr. Perry?”

“Oh, of course. You can pull my desk chair up beside the bed if you would like.”

Keating did just that and then he said,

“I’m going to be frank with you, Mr. Perry, Neil, may I call you Neil?”
“Well, it is my name, sir, so yes you can,” Neil laughed.

Keating laughed as well and Neil felt a little more at ease than he had a moment ago.

“Anyway, Neil, I know you were not involved in a bicycle accident.”

“Wh-whaddya mean, Mr. Keating?”

“Your injuries imply something a lot worse happened. Now, I feel the need to tell you that
anything you say to me is confidential. I cannot and will not tell any administration or anyone
else what you say, but I need you to tell me the truth. How did you get your injuries?”

Neil’s heart was racing. Here it was. The inevitable moment where he gets in trouble. He
didn’t care if Keating said he wasn’t going to tell anyone, the moment he uttered the truth
aloud, there was no going back.

“Neil, really, I promise you that you won’t be in trouble. I only have your best interest-and
the best interest of all my students-at heart.”

Neil was silent.

“Hmm, oh I know how to convince you that I’m telling the truth. I used to go here, Neil. I
know how it goes. The pressures, the high standards, the rules, all of it. I know what that’s
like and I can assure you I don’t want to add to that. I just need to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll tell you how it happened, but I cannot disclose why or who else was involved. Some of
it is not my story to tell.”

“Fair enough. If it comes to it, use a different name, maybe.”

Neil got into the story of the night of the party. He changed all names and avoided any
specifics that would make who he was talking about obvious. Finally, he had finished and he
looked down at his hands.

“My that’s quite a story, but it was very courageous of you to stick up for that person like
that.”

“Well, as Mark Twain said, ‘It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the
world and moral courage so rare.’ I guess this incident just proved his point.”

Keating’s eyes lit up to hear that. “Are you an avid reader, Neil?”

“I am, sir.”

“That’s wonderful. What do you like to read?”

“A little bit of everything, really, but I have an affinity for plays.”

“Ah, yes, the theatre. A brilliant proponent of our society. Have you ever seen one?”

“When I was younger, yes, but the truth is, I’ve always wanted to act in one.”

“Carpe diem!”

“Sorry? Carpe what?”

“It’s a Latin phrase, you should look it up!” Keating checked his watch and said, “Oh wow,
we have talked for a long time and school is almost out. I’d like to talk again, Neil.”
 “I’m that bad, huh?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that everyone could use someone to talk to sometimes. Someone
who’s not a friend or family member, who can just listen and try to help. Is that okay?”

“Yes, sir,” said Neil.

“I’ll be in contact with you soon.”

Mr. Keating left the room and Neil was lost in thought. And just when he’d thought he’d had
enough visitors for the day, Meeks was standing in his doorway.

Chapter End Notes

Please feel free to leave a comment below telling me how you feel about where this AU
is going. Or you can message me over on tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 "God Help Me"
Chapter Summary

Meeks and Neil talk and then Meeks invites them all to a Halloween party his boyfriend
is going to. Lots and lots of drama ensues. (this is kind of part one of the drama, next
chapter will tackle the rest)

Chapter Notes

I just want to point out that I've added a lot of tags for this chapter. There are mentions
of past alcohol abuse and also of abusive partners. If any of that is triggering, please
don't read this chapter!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Meeks? Is everything okay?” Neil asked, startled and surprised to see Meeks. He felt bad,
but he honestly couldn’t remember the last time the two of them had spoken. Ever since all
the drama had gone down between him and Charlie, Neil hadn’t really spoken to him.

He tried really hard to not take sides, but Charlie was his best friend and so it put him in a
rather awkward position.

Meeks was quiet, so quiet Neil almost didn’t hear him when he said, “I’m concerned about
him, Neil.”

Neil pointed to his bed, indicating that Meeks should take a seat, and he did.

“Did something happen?”

“You tell me.”

Neil was confused by how cold Meeks was acting towards him. First Todd and now Meeks?
What had he done for both of them to act like this towards him?

“Meeks, I really have no idea what you mean by that.”

“I spoke to Todd last night.”

“Okay?” Neil said, not really understanding how this related to why Meeks was concerned
about Charlie.

“He mentioned that the two of you were drunk, he also mentioned that he overheard Charlie
say you two slept together.”

Was this why Todd was upset with him? No, that couldn’t be it, could it? Why would Todd be
upset about that? And Meeks, Meeks had a boyfriend, why was he so upset?

“Yes, both of those things are true.”

“Neil, you remember what he was like the last time he got out of control.”

“I do, Meeks, I really do, but we were just having fun, that’s all. Really. We didn’t go
anywhere or do anything, we just talked and then fell asleep.”

“Neil, haven’t you noticed that Charlie can’t have any fun anymore without some form of
alcohol being involved? Please, you have to stop him.”

Neil huffed. “You try getting Charlie Dalton to do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

“Please, Neil, I’m serious.”

“And I am too, Meeks.”

“He won’t talk to me, please, just try.”

“I will. I still think you two are being ridiculous.”

“Me? Why me? He’s the one who’s shutting me out.”

“I know. I’m sorry. That’s messed up of him. Well?”

“Well, what?”

“I just figured you’d ask me about the night Charlie and I slept together.”

“That’s none of my business, Neil. You two can sleep with whomever you want,” Meeks
said, not looking him in the eye.

“That’s nice of you, but if you want to know, just ask.”

“It would probably be better for me to not know.” Meeks’ voice was strained as if it was hard
for him to get the words out.

Neil looked at him and realization dawned on him. “How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you liked him back?”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. I used to like him, but I, I’m with Brandon now.”

“Doesn’t mean you don’t like him still. You’re just in denial.”

“You’re being kind of a jerk, Neil.”

“I’m just trying to understand why the two of you can’t just kiss and make up already.”

“Because,” said Meeks, raising his voice, shocking Neil. “Because he lost that chance a long
time ago.”

“What are you not telling me, Meeks?”

Meeks sighed, fidgeting with his fingers, looking anywhere but directly at Neil.

“The night I called you, before-when he was really bad- he, he was mean, Neil. I’d never
seen him like that before. He was cussing at me and yelling at me and when I took the
alcohol away from him, he, well, he took the empty bottle he had near him, and threw it at
me. I loved him, Neil, I still love him, but I can’t handle that. I told Todd some of this
yesterday, but not all of it. I figured it wasn’t my thing to tell, but you know about what
happened, so. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to see him any differently, but I need
you to know how serious this is.”

Neil moved closer to Meeks, putting a hand gently on his shoulder.

“Meeks, I’m so sorry. I knew he was bad, but I had no idea he had gotten violent. Were you
hurt too badly?”
“Oh, the bottle missed me. He was really, really drunk. It smashed all over the floor though.”

“Oh my god, I remember that. I asked him what happened and he said it fell…”

“Please, don’t say anything to him. I doubt he remembers. He was too far gone to even walk
right, if you recall.” Meeks took a breath and then continued, “Please, Neil, you have to
understand. I had to move on. I had to try to get over him.”

“Meeks, of course, I understand. I love Charlie, but what he did wasn’t cool.”

“I just wish he would talk to me. I still want him in my life, but he won’t even look at me.”

“I’ll try to talk some sense into him, Meeks. I really will. About this and about the drinking.”

“Thank you, Neil.”

Meeks stood up to leave the room and then turned around.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Brandon has been invited to this Halloween party next weekend and
he invited us to come along. He told me to bring all my friends. Not sure he’ll be too thrilled
about Charlie being present, but pass along the message, will you?”

“I will. Take care of yourself, Meeks.”

“You too, Perry. You have about a week and a half to heal so you can attend this party.”

They both laughed and then Meeks left the room, leaving Neil with a lot to think about.
***

It had been two hours since class had gotten out and Todd still had not come by the room.
Neil wondered if he ever would.

Just when he had pretty much reached the conclusion that Todd was most likely spending the
night at someone else’s the door opened and there he was.

He looked guilty which Neil found odd. He slowly approached Neil’s bed and asked,

“Can I sit?”

“You want to?” asked Neil, not expecting Todd to talk to him.

Todd merely nodded and Neil gave him the okay.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted this morning. I was-,”

“You were startled by the news that Charlie and I slept together.”

Todd gaped at him, confused. “Yes, how did you know that?”

“Meeks came by. He might’ve mentioned it. Don’t get mad at him though.”

“I, I wasn’t going to. Anyway, Neil, I-,”

“Ask me about it. I know you want to.”

Todd hesitated, then mumbled, “When did it happen?”

“It was last year. His mom had just died and he was really upset. I was hugging him and then
all of a sudden we were kissing. And then the kissing became making out and then the
making out became...yeah. Anyway, we talked about it the next morning and decided we
didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and we hadn’t really spoken about it since...until last night,
that is.”

“Were, did, um, did you like him like that?” asked Todd, timidly, as if Neil would get angry
with him for asking.

“I’ll be honest with you, I’d always thought about what it would be like to kiss him, but no,
not really. I love him, but in a platonic way.”

“And what about him? Does he-?”

“Nooo, not at all. If you had heard the tail end of him bringing that up, it was us laughing
about how stupid that was for us to do. We’ve never done anything like that since and we
never will again. I have no interest in him like that and his heart belongs to someone else.”

“Meeks, yeah I know,” said Todd. He opened his mouth, and then closed it. He did this a few
times before Neil said, “Todd, whatever it is that you want to say, you should say it. I won’t
be angry, I promise.”

“I went to Gord-uh, Pushover and told him about to put you back on bedrest. I’m so sorry,
Neil, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay, you were right to do that. I have been pushing myself too much lately and I know
you were just worried about me.”

“Yeah. That’s it,” said Todd.

“So, are we okay again?”

“Yeah, we’re okay,” said Todd, a small smile on his face.

“So, hey, listen. Meeks told me that his boyfriend invited us to this Halloween party next
weekend. Do you want to go?”

“I’ll only go if you promise to rest the rest of this week.”

“Yes, Dad, I’ll do that,” said Neil.

Todd made a face and said,

“Don’t you hate your dad?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well then, do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Never refer to me as your dad ever again.”

Neil laughed and then held onto his chest. “Oh god, you’re going to kill me, Todd. Stop being
so damn funny.”
Todd stood up and said, “Well, you’re about to think I’m hilarious because here’s your
homework for today.” He went to grab the stack of books he had previously set on his desk
and handed it over to Neil.

Neil groaned. “This is yours and mine, right?”

“Nope,” said Todd. “Sadly, that is all yours. Have fun!” Todd said.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Meeks and Pitts asked me if I wanted to study with them for English so I’m going to do that.
Good luck with your homework!”

Neil shook his head, grinning. He liked Todd Anderson so much.

***

The rest of the week actually passed pretty quickly, a fact which pleased Neil greatly. He was
relieved to discover that he was finally starting to be able to laugh without it hurting or it
impacting his breathing.

When Dr. Sherbert came by to clear him, she, too, seemed pleased with his progress.

“Well, Neil, even though I didn’t want to see you again, I’m glad that it’s on really good
terms this time!”

“I am, too! So what do you think, am I good to go next week?”

“You are. You can even try going without the cane, but if you still feel you need it for a
couple of days, there’s no shame in that.”

“I’d rather try without, but I promise I’ll use it if I need it.”

“If I remember correctly, your friend Todd will see to that.”

Neil smiled and affirmed her assumption.

“Alright, well, I must be going now, but take care of yourself, Neil. Don’t get into any more
trouble.”

“I’ll try not to, but I make no promises,” he said.

***

Going back to school, for real this time, went a lot smoother. He was starting to feel like
himself again.

The week was busy. He had lots and lots of homework to keep up with and he had another
visit from Mr. Keating. The two mostly discussed poetry with Keating giving Neil some
recommendations for which poets to read next.

Finally, after what seemed like the longest week ever, the night of the Halloween party had
arrived.

Luckily, Neil hadn’t been having any problems without the cane so he was grateful to be able
to part ways with it. It had helped him when he had needed it, but he didn’t really need it
anymore and he was happy about that. Maybe things could start feeling normal again for
him.
They had all agreed, earlier in the week, to travel together. Brandon would be driving, with
Meeks in the passenger seat. Charlie had told Neil that he would find another ride, if he even
went at all, but Neil tried to convince him he should. Neil still wasn’t sure whether or not he
would be in attendance. Pitts and Cameron both declined the invitation, and Knox said he had
another party he would be attending, so it was just Brandon, Meeks, Neil, and Todd who
headed together for the party.

It had taken a bit of convincing, but Neil had gotten Todd to wear a couple’s costume with
him. Since it was still assumed the two of them were dating, Neil thought it only made sense
for them to do that. Todd had protested a fair amount at the idea, but after seeing the puppy
dog-eyed look that Neil had thrown him, he had given in.

Todd had, however, insisted that it not be anything too over-the-top, and that is how the two
of them had settled on matching chipmunk onesies. They were going as Chip and Dale. Todd
looked so adorable in his onesie that Neil had also insisted they get a picture together.

“The things you get me to do for you, Neil Perry,” Todd said, shaking his head.

“Come on, one picture, please? Then I promise you can put your hood down and just be Todd
at the party, okay?”

Todd agreed and they got Meeks to take the picture before heading for the party.

It didn’t take long before they had arrived. Meeks and Brandon hand-in-hand in front of them
with Neil and Todd trailing slightly behind them.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Todd. Just say the word and we can go back to
school.”

“It’s, it’s okay, Neil. I want to do this. I just get anxious in big crowds.”
“I’m not drinking tonight, so if you want a drink, to maybe calm your nerves, I can get that
for you.”

Todd nodded. “Yeah, maybe, maybe that would be good.”

They went inside and took a look around. The house where the party was being held was
huge. And there were a lot of people.

Todd reached for Neil, clutching onto his onesie so that he wouldn’t lose him in the big
crowd. Neil wrapped one arm around Todd, pulling him in closer to him. He knew neither of
them had been to a party since the night Neil got hurt, the night they had met.

Neil, finally able to locate where the drinks were being kept, held tightly onto Todd and led
him over there. He asked him what he wanted and fixed him a drink. Todd settled on wine,
since that was the only thing he had ever really had and was comfortable with having. He was
not a huge drinker.

Neil grabbed himself a soda and then the two of them tried to find a place where they could
sit and talk. They eventually found a sofa with enough room for the two of them, although it
was a tight squeeze, and so they sat. And Todd relaxed a little.

“You doing okay?” Neil asked him.

Todd nodded. “I’m okay. How about you? Are you nervous at all to be at, at a party for the
first time since, well, you know?”

“Nah, I’m not that nervous. It’s gonna be alright.”

The two of them sat, talking for a while before Neil said, “Uh oh, trouble in paradise.”

“Whaddya mean by that?” Todd asked.

Neil titled his head so it was pointing towards Meeks and Brandon. They appeared to be
arguing about something.

“Can you tell what they’re saying?” asked Neil.

“No, but that’s okay. It’s none of our business.”

“I betcha it has to do with Charlie.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he’s here.”

“What, really?”

Todd turned to look where Neil was looking and, sure enough, there stood Charlie. He
spotted them and made his way over to them.

“Hey! You came after all!” said Neil, not mentioning anything about Meeks and Brandon’s
tiff.

“Yeah, I just decided I didn’t want to sit around with Cameron. He was being so obnoxious
about needing to prepare for some exam.”

“When is he never obnoxious period?” asked Neil.

They laughed and Charlie said,

“Nice costumes. Did you two lose a bet?”

“Charlie, that’s mean!” Neil said, looking at Todd to figure out if he was upset about what
Charlie had said.

Todd, as it turned out, had not been paying attention. Instead, he was staring at something, or
rather someone.

Neil felt him freeze just as he noticed who was staring at.

Grant. Grant was at this party.

“I’m gonna get a drink. Neil, Todd, need anything?” asked Charlie.

They didn’t answer and he tried once more.

“Hello? Earth to Chip and Dale?”

“Huh? What, Charlie?” asked Neil.

“I’m getting a drink. Do you two need anything?”

“You didn’t drive did you?” Neil asked.

Charlie looked at him strangely. “No, I hitched a ride. Are you okay, Neil? You look startled.”
Neil knew this wasn’t the time or place to mention Charlie’s drinking, but when Charlie had
mentioned he was getting a drink, Meeks’ words rang out in his head, and he had
remembered he had promised to talk to him. He hadn’t done it yet. He was still looking for
the right time or place. He knew, deep down, that there was no right time or place, really, and
it certainly wasn’t here. He shook the thoughts aside. He would do it soon.

“Yeah, sorry, uh. I’m not drinking so I’m good. Todd, do you want a refill?”

Todd nodded and handed over his cup, all the while still staring off into the distance, where
Grant was.

“You both are acting strange today,” said Charlie as he walked away, promising to be quick
with his return.

As soon as Charlie had gone, Neil put his hand on Todd’s shoulder. Todd jumped and turned
to look at Neil.

“I won’t let him hurt you, okay, Todd? He can hurt me again all he wants, but he won’t lay a
hand on you. You have my word.”

“Neil, I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.”

“Well, then we’ll just stay here, away from him, okay?”

Todd nodded and then Charlie returned with their drinks and Todd accepted his, thanking
him.

“Slow down there, Todd,” said Charlie, laughing, as Todd took a big swallow. “If you’re
thirsty, you might want to go with water. Wine is not so good for quenching thirst.”
Neil couldn’t help but feel weird about Charlie telling someone else to slow down with their
drinking. He was the biggest drinker of them all. He tried not to let it get to him, what Meeks
had told him, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. And he tried so hard to not let it change
his viewpoint of Charlie, but it did a little bit. Meeks could have gotten really hurt if Charlie
had actually hit him with that bottle. He just had had so much on his mind lately, he hadn’t
been able to talk to Charlie one-on-one and he was a little afraid to do so, if he was being
honest.

Whatever, now was not the time nor place and he had to try to relax and have a good time.

“Neil,” said Charlie, sounding urgent, pulling him from his thoughts.

“What, what is it?”

“Grant is here and he’s headed our way.”

Neil turned and he made eye contact with Grant. The way he was sneering at them made him
feel sick to his stomach.

Neil put his hands on Todd’s face.

“N-Neil, what are you doing?”

“You trust me, right?”

“Yes,” said Todd without hesitation and then Neil’s lips were on his and the two of them were
kissing. Were there other ways he could have gotten rid of Grant? Yes, probably, but he had
promised Todd that he would keep Grant away from them, and this was the quickest way he
had thought of to do that. Had his motivation for doing it been more than just to keep Grant
away? Yes, but that didn’t need to be talked about now.
The kiss had been wonderful, had been everything he had imagined it would be and more. It
was a shame that it wasn’t real, that none of this was real. That Neil was only Todd’s fake
boyfriend and not his real one.

Neil pulled away, a bit dazed, and saw that Grant was storming away from them. Neil wished
he could pull Todd in for another kiss, to tell him how much he wished he could kiss him all
the time, every day, but he wouldn’t do that. He was Todd’s friend, nothing more, and he
would do everything to keep him in his life, his own feelings be damned.

“He’s gone,” said Charlie.

The person who had been sitting next to them on the sofa had moved and Todd asked Neil if
he could scootch down a bit. Neil was worried he had made things awkward, he wanted to
talk to Todd about it, but before he could, a girl approached them.

“Hey, sorry to bother you, but we’re playing some fun couples games and we were
wondering if you two wanted to join us. You’re so cute together.”

Neil looked to Todd and when Todd nodded and stood up, Neil followed his lead. He turned
back to mouth his apologies to Charlie, who just winked and gave him a thumbs up.

***

Meeks and Brandon had not been at the party for long before Brandon said, “Babe, I want
you to meet one of my best friends in the whole world.”

“Sure, Brandon, I’d love to meet him.”

Brandon took Meeks’ hand in his and together they walked up to where Brandon’s friend was
standing.
“Babe, this is Grant Booth. Grant, this is my boyfriend, Steven Meeks.”

Meeks somehow managed to keep his cool on the outside, but on the inside, he was
screaming. Grant Booth was one of his boyfriend’s best friends? Oh, this was not good, this
was not good at all.

“You go to Welton, don’t you?”

“Yes, I believe I’ve seen you around before,” said Meeks, with a tight smile.

“You two know of each other?! That’s great.”

“Babe, I’m so sorry to interrupt, but may I have a word with you, in private?”

“Uh oh, what’d you do, Brandon? Are you in trouble?” Grant asked in his cruel, teasing way.

“We’ll be back,” said Brandon.

They walked a bit away from where Grant was and Meeks snatched his hand out of
Brandon’s.

“You’re friends with Grant Booth?!” he demanded.

“Yeah...why? What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that Grant Booth is the abusive ex of one of my good friends, Todd
Anderson! You know, one half of the chipmunks we drove here tonight?!”
“One of those chipmunks was Todd?! I had no idea!”

“Did you even listen when I introduced them to you?!”

“I’m sorry, babe, I must have spaced out.”

“I’m not comfortable with this, Brandon.”

“What do you mean? What are you saying?”

“You being friends with that monster!”

“Woah, hey now, Grant’s not a monster! They had problems and they broke up, but he was
never abusive to Todd!”

“And what makes you so sure that Grant didn’t lie to you and tell you a version of things that
didn’t make him look bad?”

“He’s my best friend, Steven! He wouldn’t abuse anyone!”

“I’ve seen the way Todd reacts when we mention his name, how he flinches when he gets
nearby. Explain that!”

“He’s an anxious person and he does that with everyone?!”

“You are unbelievable! I can’t do this! I’m breaking up with you.” Meeks started to walk
away, but Brandon grabbed onto his arm.
“Steven, don’t do this! You’re gonna break up with me over who I’m friends with?!”

“You did that to me once.”

“That was different! He kissed you!”

“Okay, so what I’m hearing is that it’s totally fine for you to be friends with someone who
hurt my friend, but I’m not allowed to be friends with my best friend anymore just because
he drunkenly kissed me?!”

“I never said that! I said you could be friends with him after he reached out! It’s not my fault
he won’t talk to you anymore.” He paused and then spoke again, louder. “This is what this is
about, isn’t it?! This isn’t about Grant at all! This is about him!”

“It is not about him! Don’t you even say that! This is about you being friends with an abuser.
I can’t even stand to look at you anymore! We’re done here!”

Meeks snatched his hand away from Brandon and stormed off. He ran into someone.

“Oh, shit, sorry, I-,” he looked up. It was Charlie.

“Meeks? Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”

Meeks raised a hand to his face, brushing away his tears. “I’m fine. Brandon and I just broke
up.”

“What?! Why?!”

“He’s friends with Grant, Charlie,” Meeks murmured.

“Oh my god! That’s awful!”

“And when I confronted him about it, he told me that Grant ‘could never be an abuser’. I had
to break up with him. I couldn’t take dating someone who would willingly still be friends
with someone who would hurt my friend.”

Meeks started to cry again and Charlie pulled him in for a hug.

“Meeks, I think you did the right thing. You stuck up for your morals and you stuck up for
Todd. I’m proud of you.”

Meeks looked up, into Charlie’s eyes, and then quickly down to his mouth. He leaned in and
he kissed him. While he was kissing him, he thought about all of their memories together. All
the talks they’d had, the jokes they’d shared, their whole friendship played through his head.
But then all the happy memories came to a screeching halt when he remembered drunken
Charlie yelling at him, screaming at him, throwing a bottle at him.

He quickly pulled away and then he ran. He had just made the biggest mistake.

***

A couple hours had passed, and Neil and Todd had been involved in couple charades and beer
pong, although Neil still insisted he was not drinking, so he used soda for his cups.

Neil was about ready to ask Todd if he wanted to try to find Meeks and Brandon when they
announced a new game.

“We’re gonna play 7 Minutes in Heaven” and we think Neil and Todd should go first!” said
the girl, Rebecca, Neil thought she said her name was.
“Oh, no, that’s okay, we actually should be heading home,” said Neil.

“Come on, Neil! Let’s do it!” said Todd.

Neil had never seen Todd like this before. It was like being drunk unleashed a whole new
side of him, a side that wasn’t afraid to do anything.

“Okay, fine, Todd.”

They got into the closet together and the door shut behind them.

Before Todd could do or say anything, Neil said, “Todd, I know you said you wanted to do
this, but how about we just talk, okay? You’re drunk and I really don’t think we should do
anything that you might regret later.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Neil. Like what you did earlier, kissing me in front of Grant.
Grant was never sweet, well, not towards the end at least.”

Neil could feel his heart beating in his chest. Todd never talked about his relationship with
Grant. In fact, he only ever shut down the conversation when it seemed like it’d be
approaching that topic.

“I’m sorry, Todd, that’s terrible.”

“I was young and stupid. I had just figured out I was gay and I let the first boy who expressed
any interest in me in. It was a mistake.”

“You don’t have to do this, Todd. I know for a long time you haven’t wanted to talk about it. I
wouldn’t want you to share something with me that you’re not comfortable with me
knowing.”
“I just need to get over that, Neil. I mean, you fucking stuck your neck out for me and got
hurt because of it. You deserve to know, at least some of it.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Okay, go ahead. I’m listening.”

“We met at Balincrest. If you can believe it, I was even more shy back then and he sat down
next to me in class. He started flirting with me and I thought I was the luckiest guy ever. He
would pass me notes with little sweet messages on them and I started to collect them. Then,
he finally asked me out, and, of course, I said yes. The sweetness carried on for a little while,
but then things started to get...dark. He would accuse me of being interested in other guys and
he would freak out if another guy so much as looked at me. The first time he hurt me was
when he found me in the library talking to a classmate. We were doing a Biology project
together. But he wouldn’t listen. He dragged me back to his room-he didn’t have a roommate-
and he,”

Todd took a deep breath and Neil put his hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. “He hit me.
He wouldn’t stop hitting me. I was on the ground, crying, and begging him to stop, but he
wouldn’t until he did. He laid me in the other bed and started crying, saying he was sorry, and
that he would never do that again. And I believed him. I didn’t get out of bed for days. I
couldn’t. He told everyone I had a terrible case of stomach flu.”

Todd was sobbing now, taking huge, shuddering breaths, trying to calm down. Neil pulled
him in closer to him and ran his hands up and down his back, attempting to comfort him.
Todd buried his face in the crook of Neil’s neck and that’s where he stayed for the rest of
their time in that closet.

“I need to finish my story, Neil,” he had said at one point and Neil replied, “Todd, please,
don’t do this. You’re drunk, and you’re upset. I want you to be able to tell me anything, but
not here, not like this.”
Todd whimpered and then said, “You’re so good, Neil Perry. I don’t deserve you as a friend.”

“That’s not true, Todd. You deserve every good thing in this world and I’m going to do
everything I damn well can to ensure that you get them. What he did to you was not your
fault and you in no way deserved it. But I meant what I said earlier, he won’t lay a hand on
you again. I won’t let him.”

“I don’t feel very well,” said Todd. “Take me home?”

The door opened then and the two of them stood up. Neil asked Rebecca, “Where’s the
bathroom here? He’s not feeling so well.”

She pointed it out to him and Neil led him there. He sat with Todd as he vomited. He got up
and grabbed a towel to wipe his mouth. He helped him stand and once more, wrapped his
arm around him.

“Can you walk?”

Todd nodded, closing his eyes.

“No, don’t fall asleep on me, Todd. We have to find Meeks.”

They made it about five steps before Neil realized this was going to be a near impossible feat.
He picked Todd up and carried him in his arms, with Todd falling asleep there. He asked
around if anyone had seen Meeks and then he spotted Charlie.

“Charlie! Charlie! Have you seen Meeks?”

“I was going to ask you the same question. He ran off somewhere and I’ve been looking for
him ever since.”

“I’ll ask you about that in a bit, I promise, but for now, can you help me get Todd home? He
had too much to drink and I don’t think I can carry him all the way back to Welton like this.”

“I’ll text Pitts. He can probably come get us. If you can wait that long.”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

Neil sat down on a nearby sofa with Todd in his lap. He stirred a bit, opening his eyes, but
quickly closing them again and snuggling in closer to Neil.

Charlie texted Pitts and sat down beside Neil, being careful not to wake Todd.

They both sighed simultaneously.

“Rough night, huh?” Neil asked him.

“Yes, very much so.”

“What happened?”

“Meeks broke up with Brandon.”

“What? Why?”
“He said something about Brandon being friends with Grant and how he didn’t believe that
Grant was an abuser.”

“Oh. Well good for him then for breaking up with him.”

Charlie said nothing, staring off into space.

“Charlie?”

Again, no answer.

“Charlie, did something else happen?”

“Yeah, he kissed me and then ran away.”

“Wow, this night has really been something, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” said Charlie, dazed. It was not like him to be so quiet, so pensive.

Neither one of them said anything more while waiting for Pitts. Eventually, he arrived and
Charlie hopped in the front seat while Neil, all the while carrying the sleeping Todd, got into
the back.

“Thanks so much for doing this, Pitts!” Neil said.

“Oh, it’s no problem! I was just studying. I’m glad Charlie texted. It gave me an excuse to
have a break,” he said as he laughed.
 It was quiet, both Neil and Charlie lost in their own heads. Pitts seemed to realize this and
stopped trying to get them to talk. He was sure he’d find out what had happened some other
time when they weren’t tired or drunk or whatever was going on with the both of them.

They got back onto campus, trying to make as little noise as possible. They thanked Pitts
again as he headed towards his own room. Charlie muttered a good night to him as he entered
his room, and then Neil headed into his and Todd’s room to place Todd gently down onto his
own bed.

He had tried not to jostle him too much, in the hopes that he wouldn’t wake up, but he did.
Neil whispered, “Go back to sleep, Todd. You’re in your own bed now.” Neil moved to get
over to his own bed when he felt Todd’s hand reach out and tug at his own.

“Stay with me,” Todd murmured. “Please.”

Well, Neil couldn’t exactly say no to that, so he slipped into the bed beside Todd. Todd pulled
him closer and said, “Good night, Neil.”

“Good night, Todd.”

Todd went back to sleep right away, but Neil just laid there, wide awake. Although his body
was exhausted, his brain was working overtime, trying to process everything that had
happened that night and all that was still unknown.

Chapter End Notes

Please let me know how you felt about this chapter! Either here in the comments or over
on tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 Gotta Do More, Gotta Be More
Chapter Summary

Grant and Brandon have a talk; Charlie and Neil talk about why Meeks stormed off.

Chapter Notes

Hey, everybody. I am so sorry it took me over a year to upload the next chapter. A lot of
bad things happened in my life that I won't go into here because that's not why you're
here, but it caused me to be very depressed and not into writing. It has always been my
intention to finish this story and that hasn't changed. To anyone who is still here, or is
still hoping I will update, this one is for you and I hope you like it. I know I've had a
couple of false starts with this one (like me saying I'm gonna write on my blog and then
losing motivation), but I'm going to work on updating this more often and hopefully
giving this story a satisfying conclusion whenever we get there (probably not any time
soon).

Anyway, to anyone who has commented or gave kudos, or bookmarked this story, or
anyone who is just reading it silently, thank you so much. It means the world to me that
people actually like this story.

I will try to post updates about my writing on my blog @makeyourlivesextraordinary or

on my twitter @whaddyameanno (I am a multifandom account on there, but rn one of
my focuses is DPS).

I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting and I hope you enjoy this one. I will try to update
more frequently in 2021.

-Emma

Back at the party, Brandon’s POV (briefly)

Brandon was fuming. He knew he couldn’t trust that Dalton guy. It was clear to him that he
was the one putting those ideas into Steven’s head about Grant. Grant had been his best
friend since they were in Kindergarten and he would never do the things Steven had accused
him of. It just seemed like a convenient excuse to end things so he could finally be with
Dalton. Dalton would pay for this, he’d make sure of it.
After witnessing Steven and Dalton kiss and then Steven running off, he stormed into the
kitchen to grab a drink and immediately downed the whole thing, crushing the cup. He went
for another one when Grant approached him.

“Woah, there, what’s going on with you, Brandon? Boyfriend troubles?”

Brandon narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. He ended things with me.”

Grant’s eyes widened briefly. “What, really? Why?”

“He gave me some bullshit story about how you were an abuser and how he couldn’t stand to
be with someone like that. But don’t worry, I don’t believe him. I know he’s just trying to
cover his ass. He’s probably been cheating on me with Dalton the entire time.”

Grant crossed his arms, a frown etched on his face. “That Dalton seems to be trouble. This
shouldn’t really be surprising considering he’s best pals with Perry.”

“Perry’s the one with Todd, right?”

Grant scrunched his nose up, “Yes, don’t remind me. What’s Todd see in a guy like that
anyway?”

“I don’t know, Grant. All I know is we’ve got to win our boyfriends back.”

Grant smirked, “You’re right about that and I’ve got a plan I’ve been cooking up. Maybe you
can help me.”

“Absolutely, I’ll do whatever it takes to get Steven back.”

***

The morning after the party, Neil’s POV

Neil desperately needed to use the bathroom, but he was trapped under Todd, the two of them
having fallen asleep together the night before. He really didn’t want to wake Todd, knowing
he would most likely be extremely hungover and miserable, but he needed to try to sneak
away. He gently raised Todd’s arm that was on top of him, and tried to move it, but it only
made Todd groan and tighten the arm around him, holding onto him.

“Todd,” he whispered, attempting to get his attention.

Todd only grunted in response.

“Todd, I’m really sorry, but I need to get up to pee.”

This time, when he attempted to move out from under Todd, he had more success, but this
success resulted in Todd whimpering most likely at the loss of the warmth Neil emanated.

Neil wanted to spend more time just staring at Todd, looking blissful and beautiful curled up
asleep in his bed, but his bladder demanded his attention and so he rushed off to the
bathroom.

On his way back from the bathroom, he noticed Charlie outside his door, arm poised as if to
knock and he called out, trying not to be too loud. “Please, don’t knock, Charlie. Todd’s
asleep and he needs to stay that way for as long as possible. I’m sure he’ll be pretty hungover
today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I already knocked once.”

“Let me check on him quickly, maybe grab him some water and some pain meds and then we
can talk, okay?”

Charlie looked like he was going to tease him, but Neil just held up a hand and said, “Not a
word, Dalton.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t say anything.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s just that you’re so domestic. It’s adorable.”

“Charlie, I swear-,”

“Okay, okay. That’s it. I just needed you to let me make one comment. I’ve said my piece
now. I’ll stop.”

“I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Charlie just stuck his tongue out at him and made a face. “I’ll wait for you outside in the
courtyard, okay?”

“Sounds good. I shouldn’t be more than ten minutes.”

Neil sought out a cup to get some water and tiptoed back into their room. He was relieved to
see that Todd was still sleeping soundly. He set the cup down on Todd’s bedside table and
grabbed a couple of Tylenol from his own personal stash, setting those down next to the cup.
He wrote a quick to Todd letting him know where’d he be in case he woke up, and then he
headed to the courtyard to talk to Charlie.
Charlie was sitting on a bench outside, staring off into space when Neil got to the courtyard.
He jumped a bit when Neil approached him, but nodded when Neil asked if he could take the
seat beside him.

“That was some party, huh?” Neil asked, breaking the silence.

“Well, I didn’t see much of it, but from what I saw, yes, yes it was.”

“You doing okay? Have you spoken to Meeks?”

“I’m, well, I’m confused, mostly. He’s sending so many mixed signals I don’t quite know
what to think. And no, I haven’t spoken to him. I can’t find him. And everyone’s either
keeping where he’s at from me or they haven’t been able to find him either.”

Neil thought back to last night and how he had been looking for a good opportunity to bring
up Charlie’s drinking, thinking him remembering that was probably what made him run. This
wasn’t exactly a good time, but since there would never be one exactly, it was as good a time
as any.

“If I may, I think I might be able to shed some light on what was going through his head.”

Charlie turned to look at Neil, smacking him on the arm expectantly.

“Uhh, yeah, Perry. Have you been holding out on me? Have you spoken to him? Is he okay?”

“Woah, woah, woah, hold on. One question at a time. I haven’t spoken to him since before
the party, but he did come to talk to me a while back. He asked me to talk to you actually.”

Charlie looked saddened by this information.

“Why wouldn’t he just come to me himself?”

“He was scared, Charlie.”

“Scared? Of me? Why?”

“You don’t know what you did, do you?”

“What? What are you talking about? If you’re talking about last night, I didn’t do anything,
he kissed me!”

“No, no, not then. Do you remember, after your mom died, how you were drinking a lot?”

“Uhhh yeah, of course, my mom had just died! The one person who may have actually
wanted me to pursue my own dreams and not just the ones my father wanted for me. I was
kind of upset about it, but what does this have to do with Meeks?”

Neil sighed. He really didn’t want to have to be the one to tell Charlie this. But he told Meeks
he would have this conversation and he and Charlie had always been super close. He could
do this.

“There was a night that Meeks tried to get you to stop because you had been drinking
excessively. He said you got so mad at him and you were mean and when he tried to take the
bottle away from you, you threw it at him. Does this ring a bell at all?”

Charlie sat there, looking stunned, his mouth agape. He looked away, wiping his eyes, and
when he turned back to look at Neil, it was clear he was trying to hide the fact that tears were
pouring down his face.

“I...I did that? Did I hurt him?”

“No, you didn’t, luckily, but you could have. Badly. He cares about you a lot, we all do, of
course, and he’s been worried about your drinking again. Look, some of what he said to me, I
think you two should talk about because it’s not my place and I know you two have a lot to
work out, and I promise I will help you find him so you can maybe have those conversations,
but he did want me to talk to you about that. I think,” Neil paused, trying to find the right
words, “I think maybe that incident made it harder for him to trust you and that’s why he ran
away. But that’s all I’ll say on that.”

“I...I can’t believe I did that. I need to find him. I need to apologize. If I had hurt him-,”

“You didn’t. Don’t torture yourself with what ifs that never happened. He’s okay.”

“He probably hates me. How can he even stand me after what I did?”

“Charlie, I didn’t tell you this so you would beat yourself up over it. I told you so you’d know
some of where his head is at.”

“Thank you for telling me, Neil, but I think I need to be alone right now.”

“Charlie, I’m not sure that’s a good idea-,” Neil started to say, but Charlie ran off. Sure,
Neil’s injuries were way better than they had been before, but chasing after Charlie was
probably not the greatest idea.

Everything was so much lately. Neil had no idea why. He just wanted his friends to all get
along again and for everything to be okay, but it would probably take a while for all this
tension to get resolved, if it ever did at all. Maybe things would never be the same as they
were before. This thought scared Neil more than anything else had as of late.
 Poetry, Beauty, Romance, Love: These Are What We Stay Alive
For
Chapter Summary

Neil and Todd talk about the Halloween party.

Chapter Notes

Hey, everybody! I'm sorry that this story is very slowgoing. I always intended for it to be
a bit of a slowburn, but the story just keeps getting away from me and I keep thinking of
things to add and that's why it keeps getting longer and longer lol. I hope that's okay.
And I hope you enjoy this chapter!

<3 Emma

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Neil’s POV

Lost in thought, Neil startled when his phone went off indicating he had a text message. He
refused to linger on the fact that his heart sped up a bit when he saw it was from Todd. He
really needed to get this pesky crush under control. Todd would not want that from him. He
just wants a friend and Neil can handle that. As long as he has Todd Anderson in his life in
some capacity, he can be just friends with him.

<From Todd> 10:37am

Whatever you do, don’t come back to our room right now.

<To Todd> 10:38am

Todd, just a heads up, that’s not a great way to keep me from wanting to go to our
room. It only served to make me more curious about what you don’t want me to see.

<From Todd> 10:40am

It’s not pretty, trust me.

<To Todd> 10:42am

On my way.

<From Todd> 10:43am

Noooooooooo

Neil put his phone in his pocket and walked as swiftly towards his room as he could. Since it
was still the weekend, there were a couple people out and about, going on walks, or messing
around outside, but at least no one would question him about why he was quickly heading
inside. Anything goes on the weekends, pretty much, barring no one gets into any trouble.
Neil certainly hoped he wasn’t about to get into any trouble. Hopefully Grant wasn’t
pestering Todd.

That thought made Neil try to walk even faster. He couldn’t bear the thought of Grant doing
something to Todd while he wasn’t around to do anything he could to prevent it. If something
happened to Todd while he had been out, he would feel absolutely awful. It was his job as his
fake boyfriend to stop stuff like that from happening.

He got to their room and heard the terrible sound of retching as he approached the door and
suddenly everything clicked for him, nothing awful was happening to him, well, nothing
awful that Neil hadn’t anticipated, that is. Grant wasn’t harassing him, Todd was just
expelling all the bad out of his system in typical hungover fashion.
Neil opened the door and Todd groaned. “Neil, I told you not to come. I, I don’t want you to
see me like this. I’m so embarrassed.”

“Todd, there’s nothing you could do that I haven’t seen from Charlie a million times before.”

“But you’ve never seen me like this before. And I, I don’t want you to like view me
differently or something.”

“I could never do that.”

“You might after I told you that I missed the trash can a bit the first time.”

“Ah, that’s no big deal. Let me clean it up.”

“Nooo, Neil. Just let me do it.”

“You will do no such thing, Todd! You stay in bed and rest. Are you up for eating anything
because I could get you something to eat if you are.”

Todd winced, turning pale a bit, and Neil said, “Okay, maybe not, but let me know if that
changes.”

“Remind me to never drink again.”

Neil laughed. “I will, but if you’re anything like the rest of us, it won’t stick.”
Todd just hummed in response and Neil worked on getting things cleaned up. He scrubbed
down the spot on the floor where Todd had missed and then he changed out the trash liner for
a new one, taking the old, gross one out to the big trash cans. When he returned, Todd looked
a little better which Neil was relieved about.

“You holding up okay?”

“Yes, I think so. I think the worst is over now because I’d rather a headache any day than any
more of that.”

Neil just chuckled again and said, “I can’t blame you there.”

It was silent again before Todd murmured, so quiet Neil wasn’t sure he had said anything at
all at first, “Neil?”

Neil looked at him and he looked perplexed and also a little freaked out.

“Yeah, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“What happened last night? Things are a little fuzzy after we-uh,” he cleared his throat,
“kissed in front of Grant.”

It seemed like Neil was going to get to have his fair share of super fun and not-at-all
awkward and uncomfortable conversations today.

“Well, uh, we were asked to play some games with some other partygoers, and you were so
eager to do that which shocked me a little bit. And uhhh, we were coerced into playing ‘seven
minutes in heaven’ and-,”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Todd blushed, looking away from him.

“No, I’m sorry. We didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re worried about-,”

Todd squinted his eyes, seeming confused. “Then what are you sorry about?”

“You, uh, you may have told me a little about your past with Grant. I don’t think you told me
all of it, but I just wanted you to know that I know a bit now. I won’t tell anyone. You told
that to me in confidence and you were drunk and you probably didn’t mean to tell me at all,
but you did and I-,”

“Neil, Neil, Neil, woah, stop rambling! It’s okay. I’m not upset and I appreciate you being
honest with me. Others may have tried to hide something like that from me so I am really
grateful you told me I told you.”

“Of course. I’ve done enough to hurt you in this friendship/fake relationship, I didn’t want to
do anything else that could possibly hurt you.”

“Neil, we’ve talked about this. We’re all good. It’s not like you had ill intentions in your
actions that did hurt me, and I’ve forgiven you for them. I’m not mad anymore. How could I
be?”

Neil didn’t have an answer to that that wouldn’t just be rehashing old conversations so he
didn’t say anything. The two of them sat in content silence for a little while until Neil said,
“Can I ask you something? It’s not about your past, I promise.”

Todd smiled and Neil could not for the life of him remember ever seeing a more beautiful
sight. “Sure, Neil,” Todd replied.

“Why did you drink so much at the party? I’m not judging, of course. Just curious.”
 Todd sat in contemplative thought, as if trying to find the right way to word what he was
thinking. “I saw Grant and I guess it just made me remember the last party I went to. I guess I
just hoped the alcohol would give me the courage I needed to get through. I guess instead it
just gave me the courage to do things I would never dare even thinking about doing sober,”
he said, huffing a laugh.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you did do those things sober, if you wanted to. Maybe the
guys and I can help you. But only if you want to. You don’t have to change anything about
yourself just to please me. I like you just the way you are.”

Todd blushed again. “Th-thank you, Neil. You’re very sweet.”

Sweet on you, Neil thought. He so desperately wanted to just blurt out how he felt, but every
time he tried, he remembered that he shouldn’t do that. Pretending to be with Todd is one of
the best things he’s ever experienced, but it’s only that: pretend. He’ll keep Grant out of the
picture and away from Todd and that’s the whole point of this. Only that. And telling Todd
about how he feels would only serve to make everything awkward between them, something
Neil did not want at all. So he kept his feelings to himself and just smiled at Todd, admiring
the boy he was pretty sure he was in love with.

Chapter End Notes

Come talk to me over on @makeyourlivesextraordinary on tumblr or @whaddyameanno

on twitter if you'd like. Or leave a comment telling me how you felt if you want to! <3
<3 <3
 Next Time I See You, You Die
Chapter Summary

Brandon and Grant corner Charlie and there's an altercation.

Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNING: violence (nobody ends up seriously injured, don't worry).

Alcohol is also talked about in this chapter. If you are worried and need to know
specifics before reading, feel free to message me on tumblr
@makeyourlivesextraordinary or on twitter @whaddyameanno and I will let you know
what happens so you don't have to read something that might hurt you.

I hope you enjoy this chapter! I promise things will not always be this angsty or dark,
eventually we will get to the fluffy stuff. Thank you for your patience! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Charlie’s POV

Charlie could not stop thinking about what Neil had told him. He couldn’t believe he had let
it get that bad, that he would almost hurt Meeks. His best friend. The love of his life. The
thought made him sick.

Several times he’d dry heaved, but nothing was coming up. All he could do was sit and stare
off into space with tears occasionally spilling down his face.

No wonder Meeks was feeling so conflicted about things. If something like that had
happened to him, he’d be feeling conflicted too, but no, it was he that had done such a thing
and he who had to face the consequences for his actions.

Maybe he and Meeks liked each other, but that’s all it would ever be: a mutual liking. He
certainly didn’t deserve to have the guy he’d been pining after, after what he had done.
He stormed into his room and was relieved when he didn’t see Cameron around. He didn’t
know where he was, but quite frankly, he didn’t really care at this moment in time. He went
to his secret alcohol stash. A normal time like this he’d be reaching for a bottle to down it,
but not this time. This time, he wanted rid of the shit. He took what little alcohol he had left
there and, making sure no one was around to see him with it, he took it to the bathroom and
dumped it down the drain. There was no way he was going to put himself into a position
where he could possibly hurt another of his friends.

After that was done, he walked back outside, deciding he needed the fresh air and wanting to
take a walk so he could think.

As he walked, he admired the grounds of Hellton. He had to admit even though the place
sucked, it really was a beautiful campus.

Thinking he heard something behind him, he stopped walking and turned around to glance
behind him, but saw nothing. He shook his head. He was probably hearing things now too.
He probably needed to get some sleep. He was too busy looking for Meeks the night before
that he hadn’t really gotten any. Whatever. It’s not like he’d actually be able to sleep even if
he tried. It’s better to get some sun and stay awake during the day then take a nap and risk
fucking up his sleep schedule even more than it already is.

Again, he heard shuffling behind him, and again, there was nothing behind him when he took
a look. He decided to head back inside. Maybe Meeks went back to his room or spoke to one
of their other friends.

As he turned around to head to campus, he saw Grant and Brandon. He rolled his eyes and
took a deep breath. He so did not want to deal with these clowns today.

“Look, as much as I enjoy our chats, I’m not really up for it today. Maybe try me on the 2nd
day of never.”

Brandon just stood with his arms crossed as Grant smirked, taking a step closer to him.
“Cute, Dalton, but we’re not here to chat.”

“Then, why, pray tell, are you bothering me?”

“You messed with the wrong people, Dalton. Maybe this’ll teach you to stop kissing other
people’s boyfriends.”

Charlie couldn’t help but wonder what Meeks had ever seen in Brandon. The asshole was
clearly spineless and was just standing there staring at him while Grant did his dirty work for
him. It takes a cowardly tool to call in back-up for battles he’s not even involved in, but based
on everything he’s heard about Grant, it’s not surprising he was more than eager to jump into
this one. Yes, he had initiated a kiss with Meeks before, but this time he hadn’t. That had
been all Meeks. Well, not all Meeks. He had rather enjoyed the kiss, but that was beside the
point.

“Oh for the last time, I did not initiate that kiss last night!”

“Well, this will be your last time,” said Grant as he whipped out a pocket knife. Charlie was
too shocked to do anything as Grant moved forward wielding the knife. Luckily, at the last
second, Brandon pushed him out of the way and so it only grazed him, instead of stabbing
him in the stomach like intended.

“Grant, what the fuck, man? You said you were going to intimidate him, not try to kill him!”

“Brandon, you shouldn’t have done that. I had him right where I wanted him!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Grant thrust the knife into Brandon’s hands and stormed off, in a rage that Brandon got in his
way.
Brandon just stood there in shock as Charlie clutched onto his side, where the knife got him.
All Charlie could do was breathe deeply. It didn’t appear that he would need to go to the
hospital, but the wound did hurt quite a bit and it probably needed to be bandaged up so it
didn’t get infected.

“What the fuck did you do to him, Brandon?” he heard a voice yell. A very familiar voice.
The voice of the person he’d been looking for all morning. Meeks.

“Steven, you have to believe me. I didn’t do this! Grant did!”

“He’s, he’s right, Meeks, Brandon didn’t do this. Although he did set Grant on me so he’s not
exactly my knight in shining armor, either.”

Meeks turned, furious, to Brandon. “Go grab a first aid kit right now! And don’t you dare
give that knife back to Grant. We’re gonna talk about this later, but for now, go!”

Brandon did as demanded and hurried towards campus to search for a first aid kit.

“Charlie, are you okay?” Meeks asked as he knelt down on the ground beside him.

“I’m okay. Brandon pushed me out of the way. I was in shock. If he hadn’t done that, this
could’ve been a lot worse.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I was trying to find you and you weren’t in your room and Neil
said he last saw you outside so I’d been wandering around trying to see if you were out here
when I just stumbled upon Brandon with the knife and you lying on the ground. We really
need to talk, but I guess now probably isn’t the best time.”

“No, it’s okay. Once Brandon comes back with the first aid kit, we can kick him out and have
our talk. It would probably serve as a great distraction from the pain. It’s not the worst it
could be, but it’s not exactly pleasant either, you know?”
“It must be bad if you admitted it hurts. The Charlie Dalton I know would rather do trig than
admit to his own pain usually.”

“Yeah, well, let’s just say I’ve done some self-reflection and maybe it’s high time the Charlie
Dalton you know does a bit of changing.”

Meeks smiled at him and ran his hand through his hair with one hand while holding his hand
with the other. Brandon cleared his throat and Meeks quickly stopped both of those things to
grab ahold of the first aid kit.

“I’ve got it from here, Brandon. We’ll talk later,” Meeks said sternly, a sign of dismissal.
Brandon at least looked sheepish as he hurried away.

“I thought he’d never leave, yeesh,” said Charlie.

“Yeah, well, I’ll deal with him later. Right now, I’m more concerned with how you are and
getting this wound cleaned so you don’t get an infection.”

“My hero,” Charlie said, looking at Meeks with fondness and love. Meeks didn’t meet
Charlie’s eyes as he cleaned and bandaged the cut the knife made.

“Neil talked to me. About what I almost did. Steven, I-,”

Meeks looked up at him, mouth open wide. Charlie never used his first name unless he was
deadly serious.

“I was scared for you. I didn’t like the person you were becoming and how you were acting
or treating me. But you didn’t hit me. You missed. You don’t have to beat yourself up over
that.”
“But the fact that it even almost happened at all. I feel awful. I’m so sorry. Please forgive
me.”

“Charlie, I do. I did then. I just brought it up to Neil because I saw that you’d been drinking a
lot again and I didn’t want anything like that to happen this time around.”

“I got rid of the alcohol in my room. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting anyone of you all,
but especially you. I, I love you, I’m pretty sure I have for a while. I understand if you don’t
want to be with me because of all my issues. I mean, people are lining up to stab me!
Literally!”

Meeks whacked him on the head gently. “Only you could almost seriously get injured and
make jokes about it, Charlie Dalton.”

“What can I say, it’s my go-to coping mechanism. Well, the healthy one, anyway.”

Meeks smiled and helped him slowly get to his feet.

“So, are we good?” asked Charlie nervously. “Can we be friends?”

“We absolutely cannot be friends.”

Charlie’s face fell and he moved to walk away, but Meeks stopped him, putting an arm on his
shoulder.

“What I meant was, we can’t just be friends because I love you too, you doofus. We’ve spent
so much time dancing two separate dances around each other, but I don’t want to do that
anymore. I want to give this a try, Charlie. Do you?”

“Are you sure? I’m a-,”

“Charlie Dalton, don’t you dare finish that sentence with anything self-deprecating. We both
have our issues. We are only human, after all, but we will work through them together.
Because I’d rather give what’s been blooming between us for years now a try then just go
back to doing very badly at being friends. If you don’t want to, though, I understand and I
will try to just be friends with you. I need you in my life, friend or otherwise.”

Charlie smiled and said, “I want to give this a try too. I’ve wanted that for a long time.”

“Good, then we’re now on the same page.”

“What do you say for our first act as Hellton’s hottest couple, we take a nap? I stayed up all
night and I’m exhausted. Plus, I think I’ve been outside long enough. If I stick around out
here any longer, someone might decide to run me over with a car or something equally
terrible like I don’t know, getting stabbed by the school hothead. I’d almost believe I
hallucinated the whole thing if it didn’t hurt so damn bad.”

“You get awfully rambly when you’re tired.”

Charlie ducked his head, refusing to meet Meeks’ eyes. “ ‘m sorry. I was always told I talked
too much as a kid. I’ll shut up now.”

“There’s no need to shut up. I just think it’s adorable, that’s all. Come on now, Mr. Dalton.
Let’s get you to bed.”

“Ooooh, trying to have your way with me, already? You just can’t resist my partially
mutilated body, huh? Admit it, it makes you feel things.”

“Shut up, you know that’s not what I mean! Besides, there will be plenty of time for that sort
of thing later on.”
 Charlie just waggled his eyebrows as the two of them walked into the school.

Chapter End Notes

Leave a comment if you want letting me know your thoughts! I love hearing from you
all! I have a goal to finish this fic towards the beginning of this year so let's hope that
happens!
 There's A Time For Daring And There's A Time For Caution,
And A Wise Man Understands Which Is Called For
Chapter Summary

Brandon comes to speak to Meeks and Todd and Neil learn something about their good
friends Charlie and Meeks.

Chapter Notes

Hey, everybody, I really like this chapter and I hope you will as well! It's the first time
I've written Meeks' POV (I think) so that should be exciting (hopefully)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Meeks POV*

After both himself and Charlie got some well-needed rest, the two of them decided to tackle
the pile of homework they had not gotten to all weekend. Because, of course, their professors
piled on the homework for Halloween weekend. Usually, Meeks didn’t mind the workload,
but things for all of them in their inner circle had been hectic lately and it would have been
nice to have a reprieve, but he was aware that was a pretty foolish thought. Their professors
even assigned homework on Thanksgiving break most years, or at least they had every year
Meeks had been there so far.

While they were finishing up their Latin assignment, there was a knock on the door. The two
of them had ended up napping in Charlie’s room, Cameron was probably off in the library
and so therefore not in the room, so Meeks thought it was most likely Neil at the door.
Whoever was at the door knocked again since neither of them had jumped up to answer the
door right away.

“Meeeeeks, my darling, the moon that hung my stars, would you pretty please answer the
door?”
Meeks rolled his eyes. “You and I are going to have to have a talk about acceptable terms of
endearments, but sure, my little stab victim.”

Charlie gasped. “I resent that! I could have died and you’re mocking my pain. Where would
you have been, huh? What would you have done without me?”

“You’ve clearly been practicing performing dramatic monologues, too bad you’re not going
into acting.”

“Nah, I’ll leave acting to Neil. That’s more his thing. I just want people to pay me to talk.”

“Oh, my beloved, I don’t find that very likely. However, I’ll pay you to shut up so I can
answer the door.”

“Aww, Meeks, you don’t have to use money to shut me up. There are other means of doing
that,” Charlie said with an impish grin on his face.

“Not happening, now shush. Answering the door now!”

“Awww, later though, right? Or do you mean never?”

“Oh my god, Charlie, someone needs to gag you.”

“Kinky. It’s always the quiet ones.”

Meeks just groaned and walked over to the door, pulling it open. As soon as he saw who it
was standing there, he was tempted to slam the door in his face, but he did feel a sense of
satisfaction when he saw that Brandon looked really uncomfortable.
“Hi, sorry, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” the flush of his cheeks and the grim look on
his face demonstrated that he seriously hoped the answer to that question was no. “You didn’t
waste any time getting with Dalton, huh?”

“We’re just doing homework, not that it’s any of your business. Now, what do you want?”

“You said we would talk later so here I am.”

“I was kind of under the impression that I would contact you when I was ready, but sure, you
wanna have it out right now, let’s get to it.”

“Can I come in, at least? We’re standing here with the door open and —,”

“What? Are you uncomfortable with the prospect of our dirty laundry being aired to everyone
or is it that you’re more afraid people will find out Charlie got stabbed because of you?”

“Not stabbed, babe. ‘Tis but a scratch’,” Charlie burst out.

“Shut it, Shakespeare.”

“I swear I didn’t know he was gonna do that, Steven! And I’m so, so sorry. I never meant for
anyone to get hurt. As much as I don’t like the guy, that’s just not right.”

“Feeling’s mutual, bucko,” Charlie piped in again, but quickly looked away, as if he hadn’t
said anything when Meeks turned to glare at him.

Before Meeks or Brandon could reply, a horrified sounding Neil asked, “Charlie got stabbed?
What?”Beside him was an equally horrified Todd.
Brandon looked even more uncomfortable which Meeks was surprised to discover was
actually possible.

“If you didn’t want anyone to know, you shouldn’t have involved Grant. I told you what kind
of person he is! But did you listen to me or even believe me? No! Karma hurts, doesn’t it?”

“I’m sorry. I really am. You’ve got to believe that. I just got so angry. I was determined to get
you back, but I see now it never would have worked between us. You always wanted him and
I need to try to make peace with that. I’ll get out of your hair, but first you need to know
something. Grant is determined to get Todd back. Whatever means possible. He didn’t
specify anything particular, and obviously, he’ll never trust me again after today, but please
be careful. I’ll go now.”

Brandon walked away hurriedly and Meeks beckoned Neil and Todd inside before taking a
look around. Luckily, it seemed like their tiff had only captured the attention of Neil and
Todd which made sense considering they were right across the hall. Satisfied no one else had
cared enough to pay attention, he closed the door. He turned around to find Charlie preening
under the attention Neil and Todd were giving him. He rolled his eyes.

If he wasn’t careful, his eyes just might get stuck like that, but if that’s what it took to have
Charlie, he didn’t care. They say marry someone you can annoy for the rest of your life and
Charlie was clearly fulfilling that. He wouldn’t have it any other way though. That was just
their dynamic. Charlie teased and “pestered” and Meeks pretended it bothered him. He
quickly realized he had been thinking about himself and Charlie getting married already and
shook the thought from his head. He refused to acknowledge how appealing such a thought
felt though. Instead, he addressed Neil and Todd,

“He’s fine. Don’t believe his malarky.”

“Yeah cuz you took such good care of me, babe.”

Neil’s eyes widened upon hearing this and he glanced inquisitively between Meeks and
Charlie, his question evident even though it went unspoken.
“We’ll circle back to that, but first, please explain the whole stabbing thing,” Neil said to
Meeks.

Meeks quickly explained what happened to Neil and Todd, almost exactly as Charlie had told
him. Charlie occasionally added in his own commentary as well. By the end, Neil was
fuming and Todd looked a bit shaken.

“Why don’t you go to administration, Charlie?”

“To Pushover? Ha! What’s he gonna do? There’s no point. Grant’s gotten away with
everything else he’s done. We just have to keep an eye out. Keep this on the down low. The
last thing we need is Dalton senior getting wind of this and taking it to Overstreet senior and
starting a whole lawsuit out of it. Plus, it would put Knox in danger. No, we just need to look
out for each other and try to keep away from Grant.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that, Charlie. You’re not usually one to back away from a
fight.”

“This is bigger than me, Neil. One of our best friends is currently playing spy for us! We
have to approach this subtly. Keep a low profile.”

“I agree with Charlie,” Todd said.

“Me too,” said Meeks.

The room stayed silent for a while until Meeks noticed Todd had taken a seat on the bed
beside Charlie where it seemed like Charlie was quietly reassuring Todd that he was fine. He
caught the tail end of what Charlie was saying.

“I’m just being melodramatic because it’s fun, but I swear I’m okay, Todd. He didn’t get any
vital organs.”
“I know you’re trying, but that doesn’t exactly reassure me. I’m so sorry. This never
would’ve happened if I hadn’t transferred schools. You all would still be blissfully unaware
of Grant Booth’s existence.”

“See, I’m not so sure about that. Meeks met Brandon at that party where we met you so even
if you hadn’t transferred schools, we still might’ve come into contact with him because he
and Brandon are, well were, friends. Plus, you’re wrong. The ship for being blissfully
unaware of his existence has sailed. He has a reputation and we, of course, had heard of him
through the rampant gossip train that passes through the hallowed halls of Hellton. I can say,
however, that I’m glad you transferred schools because of yourself, Todd Anderson. We all
love you, man, and are glad you’re here. Whether you believe me or not. Perry here would
be like a lost puppy dog without you here. It’s like he’s been telling you all along, we value
you, we care about you, and we don’t care how many Grant Booths we have to take on to
make sure you’re safe and happy.”

Everyone in the room gaped at Charlie when he finished speaking for different reasons. Neil,
who seemed he was over the mini disagreement he and Charlie had just had, because he was
elated with how articulately and cleverly Charlie had explained that, Todd because he was
overwhelmed and very nearly on the brink of happy tears due to what Charlie had said, and
Meeks because if he didn’t already know why he loved Charlie Dalton, he would now.

“Besides,” Charlie continued, “this encounter was my own fault. I shouldn’t have stolen
Brandon’s boyfriend, but in my defense, I knew him and liked him first so I won’t apologize
for that.”

“You didn’t steal me, Charlie.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Bad wording on my part, I—,”

“No, what I meant was, Brandon and I were broken up, and he’s right, it never would’ve
worked with us because my heart already belonged to you.”

“Guys?” Neil asked, but Meeks barely heard him, he was too busy staring at Charlie.
“Uh, Neil, I think we should give them some privacy.”

“I’m tempted to get some popcorn. It’s not every day we get a live soap opera,” said Neil.

“Uhh, Neil, yeah it kind of is, or have you forgotten what our lives lately have been like?”

Neil burst into laughter and Todd joined in, snapping Meeks and Charlie out of their staring.

“What’s so funny?” Charlie asked.

“Eh, it wasn’t that funny. More of an observation,” Todd said.

“Nah, he’s being modest. It was hilarious!”

“What was?” Charlie crossed his arms petulantly and whined.

“I guess you just had to be there,” Neil responded.

“I was here!”

“Were you? Or were you off in ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey land?” Neil asked in a high-pitched,
mocking tone.

Charlie pouted. “Tell me!”

“Nah, I don’t think I will, but we’re gonna get out of here now before this soap opera turns
into a porno. Come on, Todd, let’s go to the library to do some research for that history
paper.”

“Okay, Neil,” Todd replied as the two of them headed to the door and left the room.

Meeks wondered when the two of them would stop being ridiculous and actually date for
real. It was obvious to anyone around them that they liked each other, but Meeks knew he
didn’t really have a leg to stand on considering how long it took himself and Charlie to get
together.

“Whatcha thinking about? Wanna actually turn this into a porno?” Charlie asked, wiggling
his eyebrows.

“We need to finish our homework before we do anything else.”

“I noticed that wasn’t a no to the porno.”

“Oh for crying out loud, Charlie, focus!”

“I’m sorry, babe, it’s just so easy to be distracted by you.”

Meeks rolled his eyes, but was secretly pleased at how handsy and complimentative and just,
well, flirty, Charlie was being. He always knew Charlie could be, but it was just nice to have
it aimed at himself and not anyone else. It was nice to not have to feel jealous and to be able
to just relish in the feeling of having Charlie Dalton as his boyfriend.
Chapter End Notes

Leave a comment if you want telling me how you felt about this chapter! Or if you just
wanna scream about DPS, I'm on twitter @whaddyameanno or tumblr
@makeyourlivesextraordinary
 Truth Is Like A Blanket That Always Leaves Your Feet Cold
Chapter Summary

Pitts and Todd hang out, there's a Grant encounter, and then a bit of a fight between
Todd and Neil.

Chapter Notes

This chapter is a bit longer than my usual ones and it is one of my favorites. I'm also
dedicating this chapter to Fenna because she was the first to reply to my tweet about if
people wanted me to post a new chapter tonight! <3 <3 <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Todd’s POV*

It had been a week since the Halloween party and things had been quiet. Usually this would
be a good thing, but after Brandon’s warning, he was constantly feeling on edge which is a
feeling he was all too familiar with. The little time at Welton he had gotten to enjoy without
Grant’s presence had been nice while it lasted.

The day after Grant had taken a knife to Charlie, the gang had all gathered —well, not all
because Knox couldn’t be there in case Grant found out and also Charlie and Neil expressed
distrust of and disdain for the thought of confiding in Cameron—to discuss what they were
going to do next.

Once Pitts was filled in on what was going on, he agreed with the majority that they should
keep a low profile. Neil was still permitted to give his argument for why they should report
Grant for the knife incident—it wouldn’t come back on them in this instance because Charlie
was minding his own business when Grant and Brandon approached him, also not doing
anything now opened him up to do whatever other heinous things he had planned, and he is a
danger to them all. But the rest of them had objections: it was too dangerous for Knox,
knowing his track record Grant would for sure make a big stink about things, and if they
reported him for this, he would surely find a way to make sure Pushover found out the real
reason Neil was injured, which would put Neil in danger of being found out by his father and
being shipped off to military school.

Todd had finally gotten him to back down by saying, “Neil, I’ve come to love my time at
Welton—Grant run-ins aside—and a huge part of that has to do with you being my roommate
and friend. Please realize that it’s not that we don’t want to do anything about Grant, it’s just
that we can’t rush into something like this. Believe me, I know what Grant is like and I’m
just as frustrated and angry as you are, but this is what’s best right now, okay?”

Neil had agreed, albeit reluctantly, and then they decided to adopt the buddy system.
Wherever they went—class aside because surely Grant wouldn’t try anything during class
with witnesses all around—they needed to have at least one other member of their friend
group with them as back-up.

They all agreed to this easily and had been doing it ever since.

Today was a day that Neil had a meeting with Mr. Keating, one of the school counselors, and
Todd needed to go to the library so he and Pitts had agreed to be buddies for the endeavor.
Although Todd was a little disappointed he couldn’t hang out with Neil more—something he
was doing more and more of lately and that was quickly becoming one of his favorite things
to do—he was also excited to hang out with Pitts. The two of them didn’t know each other all
that well still, but Todd was hoping that would change today, or at least start to.

Todd often found himself wondering how he would be faring if he hadn’t met Neil and been
easily included into his friend group. He hesitated to call it his own friend group still because,
despite reassurances from the guys that he was wanted, his anxiety still liked to tell him they
were only saying such things because they felt sorry for him or because Neil wanted them to.
He doesn’t imagine he’d be doing nearly as well socially if he had never met Neil and he
hated that thought. His life had changed irrevocably since meeting Neil for the better and he
shouldn’t even bother thinking about what ifs that never even happened, but hell, that was so
much easier said than done.

After their last class ended, Pitts came up to him and the two of them exchanged pleasantries
as they headed towards the library.
Once they had arrived, they snagged one of the best tables by a window that had these really
nice plush chairs and got to work on their homework. Todd felt really comfortable with Pitts
because he felt that the both of them were cut from the same cloth. They both were often
quiet and preferred to keep to their own thoughts so there were no awkward silences Todd
felt desperate to fill. They both saw the beauty in silence and savored it.

Which was why Todd was startled a bit when Pitts cleared his throat to get his attention.

“Hey, Todd, sorry to bother you, but have you done the short story assignment for English
yet?”

“Yes, I have. Have you?”

“No,” said Pitts, looking down at the table. “I’m having a hard time figuring out where to
start honestly.”

“Do you have an idea in mind? Of something you’d like to write about?”

“Yeah, sort of, but it’s probably stupid.”

“If it’s something you want to write about, how could it be?”

Pitts sighed. “It just seems like most stories have some kind of romance in them and so that’s
what’s expected from me, but what if I just want my protagonist to solve mysteries and hang
with their pet dog sidekick and that’s enough for them?”

“I think that sounds excellent, Gerard. If you wanted, I could help you with an outline or edit
it if you needed. I’m definitely interested in reading it once you’ve written it if you want to
share it with me.”
“Really?” Pitts asked, a delighted smile lighting up his face. “You don’t think it’s too
boring?”

“No, definitely not. But I think the most important part of storytelling, at least in my opinion,
is that you have fun with it, and do whatever you want because if you do that, it’ll show the
reader how much you care and how much it means to you.”

“Thanks, Todd. I’m definitely gonna start on this right away, but would you mind helping me
make an outline?”

“I’d love to help you!” Todd replied excitedly and then the two of them put their heads
together while Todd showed him his favorite method of outlining.

They were so wrapped up in outlining that they hadn’t noticed someone approaching them.

“You’re sitting awfully close to that guy who’s not your boyfriend, Todd.”

Grant. Of course. He had been having such a great time with Pitts that he had let his guard
down. But he wasn’t scared at this instant, not really. No, he was more annoyed.

“And what’s it to you, Grant? That boyfriend isn’t you. Plus, Neil trusts me which is
something you never did.”

Todd immediately wanted to slap a hand over his mouth, stunned that he had actually what he
was thinking out loud. He had never done that before. Usually he just shut down or
apologized. Maybe hanging out with this new group was rubbing off on him a bit and making
him braver.

“Just what would he think if he knew about this?”

“Well,” Pitts said, “he probably would listen to Todd’s and my account of what happened and
then be like ‘okay, cool.’ He’s not a jealous person really and we weren’t doing anything
wrong. Stop looking for a fight, you’ll not find one here. Now would you like to leave of
your own volition or would you prefer I tell the librarian you were bothering us while
working on English homework?”

Grant rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. I’ll leave, no need to be so rude about it.”

Grant left and Todd noticed Pitts clenching his hands which were folded into fists. His left
eye was also twitching.

“I swear I don’t have a temper. I’m a pretty agreeable person generally, but something about
that guy, he just makes me very angry. I’ve never been assertive like that before. It feels
strange. Not necessarily bad, but I also probably won’t make a habit of it.”

“Well, you were awesome, Pitts. Now, let’s get back to your story, hmm?”

They worked on the story for a while longer before Todd stopped and stretched, trying to hide
a yawn.

“I don’t know about you, but I could use a break,” Pitts said.

“Are you sure? We can keep working if you need to.”

“Todd, it’s okay. We’re both pretty beat, I think. How about we just sit here for a while?
Unless you need to get back to your room.”

“Nah, I’m having fun hanging out with you. I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Hopefully I’m not prying and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but what
inspired your idea for your story?”

Pitts hesitated, looking nervous. He didn’t answer for a while and Todd was about to say
“never mind” when he answered, “I think I might be aro.”

“Arrow? I don’t understand.”

“Aromantic. It means I don’t really experience romantic attraction to anyone. It works

differently for everyone, but for me, personally, I don’t have a desire for anything romantic or
even a romantic partner. I find the concept of crushes baffling and romances in movies and
media has always confused me and bored me. I’ve, uh, never told anyone that before. I mean,
you hadn’t even heard of it which isn’t surprising, but yeah, I’ve suspected this about myself
for a while.”

Todd took a hold of one of Pitts’ hands and squeezed it with his own while saying, “Pitts,
thank you for confiding in me and trusting me with this part of yourself. It took a lot of
bravery for you to do that and I’m proud of you. I promise to keep this to myself, but I will
try to do whatever I can to support you if you ever want to tell any of the others.”

“Thank you, Todd. That means so much to me.”

“Of course. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin, something I struggle
with myself, but still I want it for all of us.”

“Yeah, I want that too.”

They sat in contented silence for a bit before Pitts said, “Okay, it’s my turn to ask you a
question.”
“Sure, what’s up?”

“You like Neil, right?”

“Yes, I do, am I really that obvious?”

“A little bit, but don’t worry, Neil is oblivious. He likes you too, you know. I may not
understand crushes myself, but I can spot them in others just fine.”

“No, you’re wrong. He doesn’t like me. He’s just being a good friend.”

“Todd, I hope very much that you and I become good friends, but I would never jump in and
pretend to be your boyfriend the way he so casually did.”

“Okay, but correct me if I’m wrong and forgive me if I’m somehow being insensitive, but
based on what you just told me, you wouldn’t do that for anyone. He’s just playing a role.”

“Mhm and when did you two meet again? September?”

“A back-to-school party in September, yes.”

“And you two are still ‘fake’ dating? Have you made any plans to break-up? What’s your end
goal here?”

“W-well, I think we’re still fake dating because G-Grant is around and—,”

“Okay, but answer me this: why do you two have to be fake dating still? We’re all around
here to keep him away from you, so—,”
Todd jumped up, quickly grabbing his things. “I, I’ve got to go,” he said as he walked
towards the exit.

“Todd, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—,” but Todd didn’t hear the rest of that sentence as he
walked out of the library, the door shutting entirely too loudly behind him. Pitts had given
him a lot to think about. He had brought up several good points that he definitely wouldn’t be
staying up until all hours in the night overthinking about.

He was so deep in thought he didn’t notice Neil was talking to him until he waved a hand in
front of his face.

“Todd? Is something wrong? You seem pale. Did something happen? Where’s Pitts?”

Todd wanted to lie convincingly to Neil so he could be alone with his thoughts which is all he
really wanted right now, but he knew Neil would see through his lies and push him for details
and he absolutely was not willing to share what was going on in his head with Neil so he
decided to go for a partial truth.

“I’m, umm, not feeling too great so I headed back to our room early. Please don’t get mad at
Pitts for not escorting me back to my room, I insisted he stay and finish his work, and I’m not
a baby. I can walk back to our room on my own and see? Nothing happened. I’m fine.”

“I never said you were a baby, Todd. We have the buddy system in place to protect all of us.
It’s not meant to infantilize anyone, but I’m sorry if I said or did anything to make you feel
that way. Here, let me help you get in bed so you can get some rest.”

Neil reached for him, but Todd ducked away from him. “No, don’t touch me! Just stop
hovering over me acting like I’m a fucking paper doll. I can handle things for myself, thank
you. Please just leave me alone.”

Todd barely got a glimpse of the look of absolute hurt on Neil’s face before he walked away,
but it still made his stomach hurt. He hadn’t meant to lash out at Neil, he was just confused
and overwhelmed and anxious and oh great, a panic attack. Just what he needed right now.
He tried to regain control of his breathing, but he literally couldn’t. He was shaking and
crying and he shouldn’t have pushed Neil away especially since he’d only ever been nice to
him, and what was he going to do? His thoughts kept spiraling and his vision was starting to
black out when he heard a voice trying to say something to him.

“-odd? Look at me if you can. Breathe with me. In-2-3-4, out-2-3-4. Again. Good. Very good.
You’re okay, it’s all gonna be okay.”

Once he started breathing normally again, he realized it was Neil. Neil hadn’t left him alone
and he was exceedingly grateful for that fact.

“N-Neil? You came to check on me?”

“Yes, I did, and I won’t apologize for that. I mean, I am sorry if I’m still treating you like a
baby, but I know when you’re internally panicking and I wasn’t just going to let you have a
panic attack by yourself if I could maybe help get you through it. Look, you don’t have to tell
me what’s going on, but at least let me get you a water or something.”

“But, but I was so mean to you.”

“You’re human, Todd. Even humans with angelic tendencies like yourself have their
moments.”

Todd pulled Neil into a hug, causing Neil to flop onto the bed with him. He hugged him
tightly before he just started bawling into Neil’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Todd. Let it all out. I’m not a super great singer, but I could sing for you if you’d
like.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Todd said through tears. “Just hold me, please.”
 Neil did as he requested, gently rocking him back and forth while holding onto him firmly.
The last thing Todd remembered before he fell asleep was that Neil smelled of vanilla.

Chapter End Notes

Leave a comment if you want telling me how this chapter made you feel! Or come talk
to me on twitter @whaddyameanno or on tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary if you
want! <3 <3 <3
 Mr. Anderson Thinks Everything Inside Of Him Is Worthless
and Embarrassing
Chapter Summary

The boys find out about a death at the school, there are some Neil and Todd moments,
and then Charlie and Todd bond.

Chapter Notes

Trigger warnings: Minor character death (not any of the guys), Discussions of death,
Mentions of past abuse, Homophobia, Use of “q” word (a past usage that’s quoted),
discussions of alcohol, marijuana usage

I’m sorry this chapter is so heavy. Hopefully there won’t be many other chapters that are
as heavy as this one. (I honestly don’t think there will be).

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Todd’s POV*

When Todd woke up, he discovered he was wrapped up in Neil’s blanket and it made him
feel even more guilty and embarrassed for how he had treated Neil the night before. He
wanted the chance to speak to him before class, but one glance at his clock had him jumping
out of bed, realizing if he didn’t hurry he was going to be late. With all the drama the night
before, he had forgotten to set his alarm and Neil must’ve left to get breakfast or something
because he was nowhere to be found.

He was frantically trying to pull on his clothes when the door opened and in walked Neil
looking a bit disheveled himself.

“Todd —,” he started.

“I want to talk, Neil, I really do, but I really should be getting ready or else I’m going to be
late. I forgot to set an alarm.”

“There’s no classes today,” Neil said, in a bit of a daze.

Todd stopped shuffling around to stare at Neil. “What? Of course there are, what are you
talking about?”

“At breakfast this morning they told us Nolan died and so classes would not be in session. I
feel strange. I never really liked the man, but I didn’t really want him to die either. I guess the
whole ‘off in England recruiting professors’ thing was a cover-up to hide the fact that he was
dying.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Here, Neil, take a seat,” Todd said as he led Neil over to his bed. Todd sat
beside him, taking Neil’s hand in his own. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Just
know I’m here if you need me.”

Neil said nothing for a long while, but then he spoke softly. “I never really knew my
grandparents. Both sets of them were either dead before I was born or died when I was a
baby. My father has one brother and he’s still alive and well and my mother is an only child. I
guess all of this is to say I’ve never really encountered death like this before which I know
makes me extremely fortunate. It really makes one think about their own mortality.”

“I was very close to my paternal grandmother until she died when I was 12. She loved poetry
and would always share her favorites with me. It was difficult losing her. For a long time, I
felt lost, without direction, unsure of how to proceed with a life that was now without her.
Eventually I decided I would live for her and hope that everything I did would make her
proud of me if she were still here. I know it’s not quite the same since you weren’t close to
Nolan, sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Todd, when will you understand that I will always want to hear whatever you say? I think
that’s the first time you’ve really mentioned anyone in your family.”

“You’re too nice to me, Neil Perry.”

“No, you know what? That’s bullshit! I don’t know if it was Grant who made you think
you’re worthless or someone else, but I won’t stand for it! You’re my...friend and you mean
everything to me.”

Tears formed in Todd’s eyes and he tried to blink them away. “I’m sorry for how I acted
yesterday. I really appreciate everything you do for me and you don’t treat me like a baby, not
really. Letting people in, letting them take care of me, it’s hard for me, as I’m sure you’ve
figured out by now.”

“My parents aren’t really the most nurturing of people. Which, whatever, I guess I should feel
lucky I have two parents at all, but anyway, it’s something I’ve always just taken upon myself
to do for others. You see something you want more of in the world and you do what you can
to provide it. It’s why I’m so pushy. I want others to see what I see in them. Charlie always
called me the mom friend and at first I resented that, but then I realized it’s kind of true.”

Todd giggled. “The mom friend, huh? I see that.”

“Just don’t call me ‘mom’. That’d be weird,” said Neil, blushing and Todd wondered why.

“So will Pushover be in charge for good now?” Todd asked, sensing Neil’s desire for a
change of topic.

“I think so. I’m not really sure. He’s less strict than Nolan which is good for us, but who
knows? The school board may decide someone is better suited for the job. Only time will
tell.”

Todd nodded, not really knowing what to say in response to that.

***
Over the course of the next few weeks, a decision had been made and Mr. Gordon (Pushover)
was made the principal permanently. His prior job had still not been filled, but they were in
the process of trying to hire someone for the role.

Not much occurred in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving break which was simultaneously
a relief and a nice change of pace.

The only thing worth noting were the ever more frequent encounters with Grant. Anywhere
Todd went, no matter where he was, or who he was with, Grant appeared.

Sometimes he would just lurk or sneer in their direction and other times he would taunt and
tease. He did more of the latter whenever Todd and Neil were together and so they decided to
just do whatever they could to make him storm off. Sometimes Todd would be cuddled up to
Neil or in his lap and other times, they would just be so into their conversations that they
didn’t acknowledge him at all. These times, they noticed, seemed to piss him off the most so
they kept at it.

On the last day of classes, they walked into the library to see a sign which forbade public
displays of affection. Evidently they had made Grant so mad he had complained to Pushover
about them. They just shrugged and decided to start in on their homework.

Spotting Grant staring at them as if making sure they weren’t touching, Todd said, “Hey,
Neil, what do you say to getting out of here? Maybe going somewhere more private?”

Neil winked at him and because he was facing Todd, away from Grant, mouthed “good one”
before saying loudly, “That sounds wonderful, Todd. Since this is our last day together before
we have to be apart for a whole week.”

The two of them headed back to their room and as soon as they were sure Grant was not
following them, they started laughing. They were still laughing when they got inside of their
room.

“That was a good one, Todd. He looked so annoyed! He will just not let up, huh? It’s a good
thing we’re so convincing.”
Todd thought back to what Pitts had said to him a while back. Every time he even started to
believe that maybe Neil actually liked him back like Pitts had insisted, Neil says something
like that that erases any thought that he could ever reciprocate. He just had to grin and bear it,
as painful as that was sometimes.

“Haha, yeah. We are.”

“I’ve got to get packed. My train leaves tonight after dinner. When are you heading out for
home?”

Todd’s stomach sank. He had deliberately not told any of the guys that he wouldn’t be going
home for break. He didn’t want them to feel bad that he’d be one of the few still at school
during this time. His parents had just decided they didn’t want him coming home for break.
So he’d be staying behind, alone.

“Oh, umm,” he said, uncomfortably. “I’m not.”

“Not what?”

“I’m not going home.”

“What? Why?”

“I’d rather not get into it if that’s alright.”

“Okay, well, you can always stay with Charlie if you don’t want to be alone.”

“What?”
“Charlie isn’t going home either. His father is out of the country for business. He’s staying
behind as well. If I had known you were staying earlier, I would’ve told you that, sorry. But
yeah, he’ll be here.”

This news made Todd feel a little bit better about having to stay behind at school. Charlie and
him were complete opposites in a lot of ways, but he just had such a charming, bubbly
personality that it kind of brought anyone out of their shell. A lot of times if he was around
Charlie, he was also with Meeks, so he was curious what this week would look like with it
just being the two of them.

At dinner, Neil said his goodbyes to everyone, wishing them a good break, and then he was
gone, and Todd immediately felt sad. He knew it was only a week, but he was going to miss
Neil a lot this week.

Charlie turned to him and wrapped an arm around him. “I heard we’re going to be stuck-at-
school buddies this week. Don’t worry, though, it’ll be so much fun everyone will wish they
had gotten to stay behind also.”

Todd laughed. “I have no doubt you will make things very fun, Charlie.”

“No, Todd, we will. Todd and Charlie: the dream team!”

***

Throughout the next day, they said goodbye to Meeks, Pitts, and even Cameron. They also
texted Knox wishing him a good break. Todd was relieved to find out from him that Grant
had already left for break so he hadn’t somehow heard Todd was staying behind and changed
his plans last minute—something Todd was actually afraid would happen, anxiety, what a
bitch.

The first day of break saw Charlie and Todd engaged in an intense game on Monopoly.
“You’re a sly one, Anderson! I never lose this game!”

“Well, you’re about to, Charlie, and then I will be crowned Monopoly king except I don’t
really want that title because eww capitalism.”

Charlie chuckled, but he quickly stopped laughing when he landed on Todd’s property, hotel
and all, and got wiped out of the game.

“Wow, you actually did it. I wish I could see the look on Neil’s face when I tell him you just
kicked the crap out of me in Monopoly.”

“Who said you get to tell him?”

“Okay, okay, my king, you’re right. You do the honors. I see you’ve already whipped out
your phone to tell him and holy cow, man, that’s so many texts! You two are acting like
you’ve been apart for years.”

Todd blushed. “We, I, well-,”

“It’s okay, man, you don’t have to justify yourself to me. I was always blowing up Stevie’s
phone when I was so gone on him, I was afraid he was going to block my number. But as it
turns out, he actually felt the same way about me.”

“Stevie?”

“Don’t tell him I called him that. He hates it. I just think it’s cute when he gets all fake mad
about it.”

“You two are adorable.”

“You and Neil are too.”

“Ugh, not you too, Charlie.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Neil and I are friends. We’re fake dating. It’s not real. Neil even said it was a good thing
we’re so convincing the other day.”

“Yeah, but do you ever wonder why you’re so convincing?”

“I don’t want to have this discussion with you.”

“Fine. Be stubborn.”

“Thank you, I will. Wanna play again?”

“Didn’t have your fill of defeating me, huh?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

***

The day of Thanksgiving saw Charlie and Todd lying on the floor of Neil and Todd’s room,
Charlie high as a kite. He had offered some to Todd, but Todd had said no.
“I find myself really craving alcohol. It’s been really hard to not have any, but anytime I want
some, I picture how scared Meeks must’ve been when I threw that bottle at him, and it makes
me sick, and then I don’t have any. But that doesn’t mean the yearning for it ever goes away.”

“I’m sorry, Charlie. That must be hard. Maybe you could do something every time you want
a drink like idk giving Meeks a kiss or something? That way you’re like rewarding yourself
for not drinking, instead of like punishing yourself for wanting it?”

“Hmm, that’s not a bad idea. I’ll suggest it to Meeks when he comes back.”

“I can’t imagine he’d say no. The way he looks at you, he’d probably be like ‘of course I
want to kiss you more’.”

Charlie laughed and laughed and Todd looked at him, amused. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing much. I’m just...really really high.”

“What’s it like?”

“What?”

“Being high.”

“Hmm, I don’t know how to describe it. Other-worldly. Like you’re a bird and the world is
your sky and you can just fly your way through it.”

“That was...enlightening,” Todd laughed. He paused, thinking, and then he said, “Charlie?”

“Hmm?”
“Is that offer still open? To try it?”

“If you’re sure you want to, then yes. I would never want to pressure you into doing
something you’re not comfortable doing.”

“You haven’t pressured me. You’ve been very respectful of my boundaries, but I think I do
want to try it.”

“Okay. I’ll be here with you the whole time.”

***

Now Todd and Charlie were both extremely high.

They were just laughing at...Todd doesn’t even remember what anymore and then Todd was
just basking in the silence and how he felt. Then before he knew it he was saying, “My
parents didn’t want me to come home. For break. I think they’re embarrassed by me.”

Charlie turned to look at him, but he didn’t look back. It was easier if he just stared at the
ceiling.

“Why would they be embarrassed by you?”

“It was hard enough for them that their son was a queer...finding out that he was a queer who
couldn’t even protect himself from the other queer who was beating the shit out of him, well,
you can imagine how well that went over with them. They had me transferred from
Balincrest to Welton so I’d be away from Grant, but not because they cared about my well-
being, no, it was more so I wouldn’t tarnish their reputation anymore.”
“Todd…”

“What you said, when we met, about Grant having been in jail. It’s not true. He likes people
thinking that because it adds to his reputation. Who’d mess with the violent jailbird, right?
No, my parents didn’t want me to press charges. They threw money at the situation to make it
go away and then they threw more money so I’d go away. They don’t like me much. I was
always the disappointment of the family, but I mean, who wouldn’t be with Jeffrey as the
older brother, right? I don’t know if they know Grant is here. I doubt it.”

“Todd, I’m so sorry. That’s fucked up. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

“Thanks.”

“Does Neil know all of that?”

“No. You’re the only one I’ve told. I think I’m learning that substances loosen my tongue cuz
when I was drunk I told Neil some stuff, but not all.”

“Well I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you, but it might be better if you do. I don’t know if I could talk about this with all of
them.”

“Even Neil?”

“Especially Neil.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t want him to view me differently. I don’t want to see the pity in his eyes.”

“Has Neil ever done anything that would make you think he’d see you differently?”

“No, but he doesn’t know the full story.”

“Do you think I’m looking at you with pity right now? Do you think I’m viewing you
differently?”

“No.”

“So why would Neil? Meeks knows about all my problems and the things I’m not proud of
and he still loves me. Do you think Neil wouldn’t be capable of that?”

“No.”

“Listen, I know your parents and Grant fucked you up. But Neil and me and the rest of us
really care about you, okay? And I’m not going to let you be mean to yourself over things
that aren’t your fault.”

“It feels good to have told someone. It’s just been sitting there on my shoulders for so long.”

“Good. I’m glad. Let me carry some of that for you. I want to. And I know Neil would want
to as well.”

“I am feeling very hungry, Charlie.”

“Worry not, Todd. I have a stash of treats just for that very purpose!”
 ***

The rest of break passed in a flurry and before Todd knew it, Neil—as well as all the others—
was back. Charlie had agreed to fill everyone else in on what Todd had gone through—
maybe in not as much detail—as long as Todd told Neil. Todd had agreed and as soon as Neil
was settled, he asked if they could talk.

Neil agreed and Todd told him everything he hadn’t told him before. Neil listened to him the
entire time he spoke and was very respectful and kind, just like deep down Todd knew he
would be, despite what his anxiety had been telling him.

In the end, Neil thanked him for trusting him with all of that, and he pulled him into a hug,
and Todd felt a weight had been lifted from him.

Chapter End Notes

If you want to yell at me, feel free to do so in the comments or on twitter

@whaddyameanno or on tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary. Or just come talk to me
if you want! <3
 Most Men Lead Lives Of Quiet Desperation
Chapter Summary

Knox POV, we check in with him and see how spying is going. Oh and Knox makes
some acquaintances.

Chapter Notes

I hope you all enjoy this chapter! <3

Also, thank you to han (letitfillyoursoul) for looking over this chapter and making sure it
looked okay! <3 <3 <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Knox’s POV*

Knox was getting really sick of having to pretend to be best buddies with Grant Booth. All
the guy did was drink, talk about football, and complain about Neil. The amount of times he
had to bite his tongue to keep from blurting out that Neil was way better than Grant could
ever be or something like that had to be getting into the hundreds if not thousands by now.
Besides, he really missed his friends. Being a spy was a lonely existence. No wonder James
Bond was always drinking or picking up somebody for the night.

Luckily his friends all still texted him to check in or let him know what was new. He was
relieved he didn’t really have anything to report back, but at the same time that meant he was
stuck with Grant. And don’t even get him started on sharing a room with the guy. He snored
so loudly Knox had to go out and buy soundproof headphones to get any semblance of decent
sleep.

Tonight they were attending, surprise, surprise, a party because what else did Grant do in
spare time? Knox was honestly shocked he wasn’t flunking out although he was pretty
convinced his parents either paid for him to have good grades or he bullied people into doing
his homework for him.
Apparently it being early December was close enough to Christmas that they were calling
this party a “Christmas” party. Knox wanted to roll his eyes.

Maybe he could work for the CIA instead of becoming a lawyer like what was expected of
him. That would be cool. Of course, he would have to explain that his only experience is this
extremely weird situation he had found himself in this year, and that didn’t seem like
something that would be all that well-received at the CIA, so probably not. It was an
entertaining thought, though. Certainly more entertaining than anything Grant had ever said
to him. It was sad how much Knox was living in daydreams these days. Sure, he had always
been a bit of a daydreamer, but daydreaming now was even more of a much-needed escape
now.

Tonight’s party was apparently at Ridgeway High, another of the rich, snobby schools in the
area. Knox just wanted to stay behind and sleep, but he got ready anyway, knowing he was
doing this for the greater good.

As soon as they arrived, Grant ran off to talk to some other friends which absolutely did not
bother Knox at all, good riddance. Looking around the room for a way to occupy his time and
finding the same old, same old, he flopped down onto an empty couch and put his head in his
hands. Eventually, several others came in and started laughing loudly and so he got up and
walked around some more.

He noticed Grant talking intently with someone else Knox didn’t know, most likely the host.
If he wasn’t a little bit scared of Grant, and what he would do if he found out Knox was a spy,
he would’ve given up this spy thing a long time ago and just hung out with his friends. It’s
not like he was learning anything they could use.

He noticed Grant and some of his friends were going to do stunts in the —now closed—
outdoor pool the academy had. Knox found the idea of diving into a pool in December
absolutely idiotic, and so when Grant asked if he was coming along, he begged out, saying he
saw an old friend of his across the room and wanted to catch up with them. Luckily, Grant
took this excuse and headed out, leaving Knox behind.

He was half-tempted to bow out entirely and just head back to campus, and in fact, had
started to head towards the exit, when he heard someone say, “Ugh, Grant Booth is so awful.
Why does anyone still invite him to these things?”

This got Knox’s attention and he turned to look for the speaker, a girl with short brown curly
hair. With her were two others, a blonde girl who had her arm wrapped around the other— a
guy wearing a varsity jacket who had a red solo cup in hand. If he played his cards right, this
could be the first lead he’d gotten at one of these parties and he didn’t want to let it slip
through his fingers.

“Maybe Ridgeway students haven’t heard about what he’s done. I mean, obviously, we have,
but we also went to school with him and know firsthand what he’s like,” said the blonde girl.

“Surely they do know. I mean Lydia, my acquaintance who invited us tonight, knows. Most
just probably don’t care. He can be charming when he wants to be. We all saw it,” remarked
the first girl.

He felt strange just standing there listening in on their conversation. Seeing them at a
stopping point, where there was less chance he’d be interrupting, he approached them and
said, “Excuse me?”

The dark haired girl turned to look at him and shot him a disgusted look. “What do you
want?”

“I heard what you said about Grant and—,”

“If you’ve come to defend your friend, you can save it. I’m not scared of him or you,
especially not you.”

Knox tried very hard not to take offense to that. He knew arriving with Grant made him look
bad, but he had to find a way to convince this group that he was trustworthy and not at all
Grant’s friend.
“I know you think I’m evil, being friends with Grant and all that, but the truth is, we’re not
friends.”

“Then why’d you come in here with him?”

“It’s a long story, but the short version is that I’m spying on him for my friends. He used to
date one of them—Todd—and transferred schools to try to get him back, and, well,
obviously, that can’t happen.”

The girl looked at him with shock and though it didn’t appear she was willing to fully trust
him yet, she looked intrigued.

“Todd? Todd Anderson?”

“Yes! Do you know him?”

“Know him? We were really good friends. I’ve been worried about him since he left
Balincrest.”

“He’s okay. I promise. My good friend, Neil, is his roommate, and my friend group has been
making sure Grant doesn’t go near him. Myself excluded because Grant is, unfortunately, my
roommate, and I’d blow my cover if I hung out with them.”

“Okay. What’s your name?”

“I’m Knox. Knox Overstreet.”

“Nice to meet you, Knox. I’m Ginny, and this is my brother, Chet, and his girlfriend, Chris.”
“Nice to meet you all. But, hey, could you not spread what I told you around? I wouldn’t
want Grant finding out.”

“Your secret is safe with us. We hate Grant and would never tell him anything.”

“Thank you. I think Todd might’ve switched phones and lost his contacts, but if you wanted,
we could exchange info, and I could get your number to him.”

“Oh my god, would you? That would be so great!”

They exchanged information and then Ginny said, “If you’re trying to take down Grant, I
want in.”

“Me too,” said Chris. “Chet can help too, he’s hated Grant ever since he got into a fight with
him last term.”

“Yeah, the dude’s a scoundrel.”

“We don’t really have a plan to take him down right now. He gets away with everything, the
slimy bastard, but we should meet up sometime. To strategize.”

“That sounds good, but I should let you know. I’m a lesbian.”

“Oh, I wasn’t,” Knox rubbed at his neck anxiously. “That wasn’t me hitting on you, I swear.”

“Okay. If you wanted to meet up sometime, we could tell you everything we know about
Grant. Maybe something would help?”
“Yeah, that sounds good, but it would have to be sometime when Grant’s passed out, which I
mean, is a lot, so it’s not like we’d be hard-pressed for meeting time. I could sneak away, and
he’d hopefully never be the wiser.”

Ginny laughed and shook Knox’s hand. “It was so good to meet you, Knox Overstreet. I hope
this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”

Knox smiled and said, “Yeah me too. Listen, I’d love to stick around and chat, but while
Grant is occupied, I think I’m gonna dip. I haven’t really had free time since I started
rooming with him, and I really miss my friends. I’m gonna see if I can sneakily meet up with
them while he’s not around.”

“Good luck with that. And tell Todd I say hi if you see him.”

“I will, Ginny. For sure.”

“Thank you. Have a good night!”

“Yeah, you too! See you around.”

Knox left the party and immediately whipped out his phone, sending a text to Charlie.

<To Charlie> 10:47pm

I’M GOING ROGUE.

<From Charlie> 10:48pm

????????

<From Charlie> 10:48pm

Knoxious, explain yourself.

<To Charlie> 10:50pm

Remember that cave we stumbled upon last year while exploring?

<From Charlie> 10:50pm

...yes? What part of this is the explanation?!

<To Charlie> 10:51pm

I’m getting to that, chill! Can you get everyone gathered at the cave? I’ll meet you there.

<From Charlie> 10:52pm

What about Grant?

<To Charlie> 10:53pm

He’s currently at a party most likely getting frostbitten by being a drunken idiot and
jumping into a pool in December. He won’t miss me, and if he does, I’ll tell him I didn’t
feel well and so I left the party. The shithead drinks so much he’ll most likely pass out at
the party. If he doesn’t, I’ll try to make it back to the room before he gets there. I can’t
hang long, but I miss you guys, and that asshole shouldn’t keep me from you all. As long
as we’re careful, I think this should work.

<From Charlie> 10:55pm

I will assemble the troops. See you soon.

***

Knox was regretting not grabbing a heavier jacket because it was only getting colder outside.
The good news was that Ridgeway wasn’t that far. Since he had ridden with Grant to the
party, he was having to walk back to campus, which was fine by him if it meant spending less
time with Grant.

Approaching the cave, he could hear his friends’ voices and it made him smile. It had been
too long since he had gotten to hang out with them. He felt so stupid for not thinking of doing
this before.

He entered and was greeted by the sound of raucous applause and yells. Everyone was there
except for Cameron and Pitts who, Charlie informed him, were both already asleep by the
time Knox had texted him. Charlie barreled towards him, practically jumping on him to give
him a hug. Meeks and Todd just smiled and waved, always the calmer of the group. Neil
hugged him after Charlie finally let go.

“Man it’s good to see you all,” Knox said.

“It’s good to see you too, Noxious,” exclaimed Charlie. “Have a seat, stay a while.”

“I will, but, hey, Todd. I wanted to tell you something.”

Todd looked nervous and Knox felt bad. He hadn’t meant to make him nervous.

“M-me? What is it?”

He had forgotten how nervous Todd could get, he should not have put him on the spot like
that.

“I’m sorry, it’s not bad. I’m just a little overexcitable tonight. Please forgive me for calling
you out like that.”

“I-it’s fine. What’s going on?”

“I ran into an old friend of yours, Ginny? From Balincrest? She says hi and wanted to make
sure you’re okay. I got her number to give it to you if you wanted to catch up.”

Todd looked so pleased, Knox was so happy he could make Todd feel like that.

“Yes, that would be great! Thank you so much!”

“Of course. We’re also gonna be meeting up to talk about how to take Grant down.”

“Ooooh, meeting up with a girl?!” Charlie teased.

“It’s not like that, Charlie. I’m not her type.”

“Oh,” said Charlie, looking a little disappointed.

“Just cuz you’re all in love and stuff doesn’t mean we all are. Congrats, you two, by the way,
since I haven’t gotten to say it in person,” he said looking towards Meeks and Charlie.

“Thank you,” said Meeks who was huddled up close to Charlie, maybe to stay warm, but
most likely just because he wanted to be near his boyfriend.

“Has anything else new happened since we last texted?”

“Nah, I don’t think so. Everything’s calmed down a bit since last month with the almost
stabbing and everything,” Charlie replied.
“I just wanted to say in person how sorry I am for letting Grant out of my sight. That could
have been prevented,” Knox said.

“Knox, we’ve texted about this. I’m fine! I don’t blame you at all. The dude’s unhinged.”

“Yes, he is,” Neil chimed in and then stared at Knox for an uncomfortably long time before
saying, “Are you doing okay, Knox?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Are you sure? You can tell us anything, you know.”

Knox thought about that, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to unload all his thoughts on the guys.
For one, he didn’t want anyone, particularly Todd, feeling bad, and also it’s not like it would
be forever. Just until they found a way to finally get someone to hold Grant accountable for
his actions. He decided to tell a half-truth.

“I’m fine, I swear. It’s really good to see you all and I hope we can do this more often
because I’ve really missed you guys.”

Neil shot him another look—it was weird how he seemed to know Knox wasn’t telling them
everything—but he seemed to accept this answer.

Knox didn’t hang around much longer, needing to get back to the dorm hopefully before
Grant did, but he hugged each of his friends more firmly than usual. If the guys noticed, they
didn’t say anything. He gave Todd Ginny’s number and then he headed out.

He got back to his dorm and, noticing Grant wasn’t back yet, he curled up under his covers
and cried. He cried for Todd and what he must’ve been through with Grant. He’d heard bits
and pieces and it was enough to know it had not been good. He cried because at times the
cause seemed hopeless and he’d be stuck with Grant Booth as a roommate forever and Todd
would never fully feel safe. He cried because he felt isolated and lonely and tired...so tired.
 He cried until the tears stopped coming and his head ached. Hopefully if he fell asleep now,
he’d get some good sleep before Grant came in with his clambering and snoring and
inevitably woke him up.

Chapter End Notes

A/N: Let’s pretend Balincrest is a co-ed school that Chris, Ginny, and Chet all attend for
the sake of plot, okay? Okay!

Also, leave a comment if you want telling me how this made you feel. I can also be
reached on twitter @whaddyameanno or tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary if you
want to scream about DPS.
 Arrr, I'm A Dead Poet
Chapter Summary

Charlie and Neil talk about Knox.

Chapter Notes

Thank you so much to my wonderful friend, Han, for looking over this chapter and for
always screaming about DPS with me! They have a story My Funny Valentine and it is
soooooo good!!! If you haven't already, please check it out!!!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Charlie’s POV*

Charlie was feeling very bored. His boyfriend was off being a smarty pants and helping tutor
Todd and Pitts and Cameron and had left him all alone. Sure, he could do something
productive like actually get his homework done before the last minute, but where was the fun
in that?

He had spent so long thinking about what to do that he ended up running out of time to do
anything at all. He started to drift off into sleep when there was a knock on the door, startling
him awake.

“It’s open! I’m totally not sleeping in here!”

Neil walked in, looking sheepish. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, Neil, didn’t you hear me? I wasn’t sleeping!”

“Charlie, there’s no shame in sleeping when you need to. I can go. We can talk later.”

“No, no. I’m up now. What do you want to talk about?”

Neil closed the door behind him and sat on Charlie’s bed in front of him. He looked worried
and that made Charlie worried.

“What’s going on, Neil? Is something wrong? Is Todd okay?”

“Todd’s fine, don’t worry. That’s not why I’m here. I’m worried about Knox. He seemed off
when we saw him the other day.”

Charlie didn’t reply right away, letting what Neil said sink in. At first glance, Knox had
seemed like his normal self when they saw him, but the more he thought about it, the more
memories of enormous bags under his eyes and the too-happy smiles putting on a brave face
and a facade that he was okay came into his head.

“You’re right, he did. What should we do about it?”

“Clearly something is going on that he’s trying to keep from us. Do you think maybe if we
tried to talk to him one-on-one that he would let us in?”

“We’re the closest to him so I guess it’s worth a shot, but if it doesn’t work, I have another
idea.”

“What is that?”

“Todd could try to talk to him.”

Neil looked confused. “Todd? But he and Knox have barely interacted.”
“I know that, but Todd has a calming presence. He’s like a safe space. Like he gives off
favorite teacher or counselor vibes. Maybe Knox would confide in him. Todd wouldn’t have
to tell us what he says, just let us know that he’s okay.”

“I guess I could ask him.”

“Who said you had to ask him, Perry?” Charlie said, poking Neil in the shoulder.

Neil blushed and Charlie replied, “I’m just messing with you, Neil. Of course you can ask
him.”

Neil cleared his throat and then said, “He told me how you were such a comfort to him over
break. I’m glad you were there for him. Thank you.”

“Your protective fake boyfriend is showing, Neil. What’s say we do everything we can to
remove that fake from your title and make you the real thing, huh?”

“I want to so, so badly, but the timing never seems right.”

“There’s never gonna be a time that just jumps right out and says ‘NEIL PERRY CONFESS
YOUR HOMO LOVE FOR TODD ANDERSON!’” Charlie said as he gesticulated wildly
with his arms. “you just have to go for it and hope for the best. But trust me, you don’t need
hope in this equation.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell him.”

Charlie looked at him in disbelief, raising an eyebrow.

“I will!”
“You’d better or I’ll do it for you.”

“What?”

“I’m serious. If you don’t tell him how you feel soon, I will tell him. It’ll be super romantic.
I’ll take him to a basketball game and the kiss cam will land on us, of course, and I’ll hold up
a sign that says ‘Neil Perry likes you’ in front of everyone.”

“First of all, that would absolutely mortify him so please don’t do something like that. Your
‘beef’ is with me, not him. Secondly, how would your boyfriend feel about you wooing other
boys?”

“Well, if you just went for it already, I wouldn’t have to resort to such methods! Also Meeks
would understand it’s for the cause! I’m not the only one you two are driving crazy with your
obvious mutual attraction, you know.”

“I will do it, but I want it to be on my own time and my own terms, got it?”

“Fine. You’re no fun. Also I expect by that time, we’ll have talking dogs and flying horses.”

“You mean unicorns?”

“Get out, Neil Perry! I will not have you slander unicorns like that! Unicorns are not just
‘flying horses’! Those are pegasides!”

Neil got up and said, sarcastically, “I’m so sorry for insulting you, geez.”

“No, I was just kidding. You don’t have to go!”

“Charlie Dalton, I have known you for years now. You should know by now that I can tell
when you’re messing with me. I’m not hurt, I’m not offended, I just have to get going. I’ve
got homework to finish. Also, how do you know so much about flying horses anyway?”

“Maybe when I was younger I started writing a fantasy novel before my father found it and
tossed it into the shredder.”

“Oh, Charlie, I’m sorry. That really sucks.”

“Hey, there’s nothing that says Robert Dalton like being a dick and stifling creativity.”

“Well, there’s always now. Maybe you could start a new fantasy novel. Show Robert he
didn’t stomp it all out of you.”

“That would require me to spend more than three minutes in the same room with him which
is a hard pass, but I will think about the rest of it. Writing a fantasy novel, that is.”

“Good. I’m glad. I’ll see you around, okay? I’ll let you know what Todd says about talking to
Knox.”

“Okay. You’d better.”

Once Neil left, he got to work writing down some ideas. Homework could wait. This was
more important anyway.

***

Finals were quickly approaching and Charlie and Meeks had been spending a lot of time
studying. In past years, Charlie hadn’t put in nearly as much time reviewing for finals as he
already had this year, but he chalked that up to the fact that agreeing to study meant he got to
spend more time with his boyfriend which was definitely a plus. In an ideal world, he would
just get facetime with Meeks and not have to study, but the studying was important to Meeks
and he wanted to be supportive. Also Meeks made him want to do better which was sappy,
true, but he would admit it to no one, but himself. Knox and Neil would both have a field day
if they knew, but Knox was still not around much and Charlie had just as much stuff he could
tease Neil for, so he was in the clear for now.

One morning the week before finals, Cameron threw a pillow at his head because his alarm
was blaring and he hadn’t turned it off yet. He raised his arm to turn it off, but it hurt a lot.
Everything hurt. He felt achy and cold, very cold. He couldn’t get warm enough or stop
shivering.

“I-is th-the heater br-broken?” he managed to get out as his teeth were chattering. His throat
felt dry and sore and he regretted speaking instantly.

Cameron looked at him and said, “No. Are you getting sick? If you are, I’m staying
elsewhere. I can’t afford to get sick.” He quickly grabbed his stuff and headed out the door,
slamming it behind him.

Charlie winced. Thanks for the concern, asshole.

He tried to grab his phone to text Meeks, but it was too far away and he didn’t want to get up,
just knowing it’d be so much colder if he left his bed, even though his covers were not warm
enough.

He was tempted to stay behind, but every day leading up to finals week was bound to be
important and so he knew he couldn’t miss. He just needed a few more minutes. He’d most
likely be late, but surely even the heartless teachers at this establishment would understand
why and not punish him too harshly.

He took a deep breath, or rather tried to, and ended up in a coughing fit. When he finally
stopped coughing, he tried to gather all his strength to stand. His legs felt weak and shaky. He
tried to take a step to start getting ready, but he was overcome with intense dizziness. He felt
sure he was going to tumble to the ground and be unable to crawl back up into his bed, but
instead of hitting the ground, he felt arms around him, catching him mid-fall.
“And where do you think you’re going?” asked a very concerned Meeks.

“To class. I’ve gotta go today. I might miss something important and if I’m not there, they’ll
be mad at me,” said Charlie, starting to tear up.

“Aww, honey, don’t cry. Here, let me help you get back in bed.”

“Noooo, Meeks, have to go —,”

Meeks helped him get back in bed with Charlie attempting to stop him. Meeks won, of
course, because Charlie was much too weak to put up much of a fight at all.

“You are running a fever and therefore in no state to go to class. Cameron, before coming to
get me, already informed your teachers. It’s gonna be okay.”

Oh, so the asshole actually did something nice for once.

“But what about you? I’m making you miss class.”

“It’s okay. Because of how hard we’ve been working I think we’re gonna do just fine without
class today or however long it takes to get you better.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he said, eyes still watering. He wanted to stop crying, he knew it
would probably make everything feel worse, but he just can’t bring himself to stop.

“Hey now, this is the fever talking. I’m not upset with you. No one is, okay? I’m going to go
and see if I can get you some medicine. Maybe we can bring that fever down.”
“D-don’t leave,” he choked out.

“Just close your eyes, I’ll be back before you know it.”

Meeks left the room and Charlie tried to follow his advice, but it seemed like he had been
gone forever. He was so relieved when Meeks finally came back into the room, medication in
one hand, and his comforter in the other.

He threw the comforter over Charlie’s still-shivering body and tucked it in around him.

“But this is yours, I don’t want you to go without it. You might get sick too!”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take, Charlie. But I can always wash the comforter. I’d rather try
to make sure you’re comfortable right now.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that. It upsets me when you talk badly about yourself like that.”

“‘M sorry.”

Charlie’s eyes were starting to droop. He was having a hard time keeping them open.

“I know you want to sleep, but first take this. It’ll help kill the fever.”

He handed Charlie two pills and helped him get a drink of water to wash them down. He
knew it would help him, but he hated the feeling of swallowing them down right now. His
throat was sore and it hurt.
As soon as he had taken the medicine, Charlie let his eyes close and stay closed. Meeks all
the while running his hand through his hair. It felt nice and soon Charlie was asleep.

***

It took several days for Charlie to feel practically normal again, but luckily he got better right
before finals started. It was all thanks to Meeks too. In the Dalton household, sickness was
seen as a weakness and was treated as such. Fortunately, Charlie had hardly ever gotten sick,
but when he had, he had been on his own and it had been brutal. He knew he could get a bit
whiny and clingy when he was sick, but he was so grateful Meeks didn’t seem to mind
much.

Meeks took great care in sanitizing everything and washing his hands often and so far, it
seemed like he had escaped from caring for Charlie unscathed. Cameron and him had
basically just switched rooms for the week. On the day Cameron and Meeks were going to
switch back, Charlie said,

“I’m really going to miss being roomies with you. I wish you didn’t have to leave.”

“What if I didn’t? If you were cool with it and Cameron was cool with it, what if we just
made the switch permanent?”

“You’d be okay with that? It wouldn’t be too fast?”

“Charlie, we’ve been friends for years and I’ve liked you for almost just as long. I promise
it’s not too soon.”

Charlie pumped his fist in the air. “No more rooming with Cameron!” When Meeks shot him
a glare, he said, “I’m super happy you’d be moving in too, of course.”

They talked to Cameron and he was surprisingly okay with it. They had both thought he’d
immediately say no, being a stickler for the rules and all, and they’d have to bribe or
 blackmail him, but maybe he had a change of heart and just wanted them to be happy. Or, as
they came to find out, it was because Meeks’ room was closer to the bathroom and the dining
hall, and had a better view. But whatever the reason, it didn’t matter because they were going
to be roommates now!

Chapter End Notes

Please leave a comment if you want telling me how this made you feel or hit me up on
my twitter @whaddyameanno or my tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary if you wanna
talk!
 As You Wail And Cry And Scream
Chapter Summary

Todd and Knox talk and the boys celebrate Christmas.

Chapter Notes

Hello, hello! I am back with another chapter! I hope you're all doing well! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Todd’s POV*
Finals were done, thank goodness. That was always such a stressful time, but now everyone
had a little bit of down time before they all had to head home for Christmas break. Todd was
almost surprised he wasn’t being forced to stay at school again, but his parents had actually
sent him details for a flight back home in a very curt email. This ought to be fun.

Neil had asked him to check in on Knox. He hadn’t said why he wanted Todd specifically to
do it, but he didn’t mind. Knox was doing a nice and very risky thing for all of them, but
especially him, and also he didn’t really know him all that well so it would be nice to chat
with him. He decided to text him to see if there was a time before break he could sneak out
and the two of them could meet up.

<To Knox> 3:34pm

Hey, Knox, it’s Todd. I was wondering if there was a time you’d be able to sneak away
so we could hang out?

<From Knox> 3:37pm

Grant is already gone for break. He dipped as soon as he was able to so if you wanted to
we could meet up now?

<To Knox> 3:39pm

Is it okay if we meet up somewhere other than your room? Don’t take this the wrong
way, I just, umm, don’t really want to be in the same room Grant stays in.

<From Knox> 3:43pm

I totally get it. No worries. Does your room work? Or would it be too bothersome to
Neil?

<To Knox> 3:45pm

Neil is actually out Christmas shopping at the moment so our room should work.

<From Knox> 3:46pm

On my way.

Pretty soon, Knox was knocking on the door and Todd let him in. The two of them sat down
on Todd’s bed and at first it was very quiet and not a good kind. The kind that made Todd
very anxious. He was wracking his brain trying to figure out how to start this conversation
when Knox blurted out,

“Did you want to talk to me about Neil?”

“Wh-what?”

“Oh, sorry if I was wrong, but I kinda assumed you texted me to talk about Neil. I mean, we
haven’t talked much and so I thought there had to be a pretty specific reason for you to single
me out. Not that I don’t want to talk to you, that came out wrong, I —,”

“Knox, it’s okay. I didn’t ask you to come here to talk about Neil. I just wanted to talk to you.
Our not talking much is kind of why I wanted to talk to you. I want to get to know you better.
See how you’re doing.”

“I’m great. How are you?”

“Doing okay. Kind of dreading going home when they don’t really want me there.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Todd. That sucks.”

“Eh, it’s okay. I didn’t say that to get sympathy or anything, it’s just the truth. Jeffrey is their
star son. I’m just the afterthought.”
“I couldn’t imagine that. I mean, my parents aren’t like the most nurturing, but I always know
they want me there or that they’re proud of me. I wish things were better for you.”

“I’ve liked my time here pretty well. Gr-uh, Grant aside,” Todd said, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, I could sure do without that asshole.”

Todd cracked a tiny smile and nodded his head in agreement. “We all could.” His face turned
serious and he turned to look Knox directly in the face. “He hasn’t done anything to you, has
he? Because if he has, we’ll get you out of that situation.”

“No, no, nothing like that.”

Todd looked at him, sensing there was something Knox wasn’t saying.

“But there is something wrong,” he declared because it wasn’t a question.

Knox sighed. “I don’t want to complain. I know you had way worse and that’s why I’m
sticking at this.”

“Knox, I know we don’t know each other very well, but I consider you a friend and I know I
can never repay what you are doing for me. Whatever you need, whether that’s to vent, or
something else, I want to help.”

“If I tell you, you’ll tell Neil.”

“No, I won’t. Anything you tell me will stay between us, I promise. I’ve never ever broken a
promise in my entire life. That’s not about to change.”
Knox sighed again and then began talking. “I just haven’t been sleeping very well this whole
semester because he’s loud and he snores and he always drags me to these parties where I
have to pretend I want to be there and that I’m having a good time and drinking and
socializing. And he’s so droll. And every time I look at his ugly face I just see what he did to
you, and it makes me angry, so, so angry, and that’s why I know I can’t stop doing this. I
won’t let him hurt you again, Todd. I refuse.”

“Ugh, yeah, his snoring is pretty bad. But I’m so, so sorry about all of that, Knox. I never
wanted you to be miserable.”

“I know and none of this is on you. It’s on him. All of it. We will hold him responsible
somehow. After break Ginny and Chris and Chet and I are all meeting up to strategize.”

“That sounds very admirable. Thank you all.”

“Of course. We all just want the best for you.”

“I really appreciate that. I know you’re already doing so much for me, but can I ask for one
more favor?”

“Yes, anything.”

“Please feel free to take some time now that Grant is gone to take a nap if you want. You can
even use my bed if you’d like, save you the trip.”

“Oh my god, that would be great! Thank you!”

“It’s the least I can do. I’m gonna go, let you rest. Have a good nap, Knox.”
“I definitely will. Thanks for talking with me, Todd. It was nice.”

“It was! We should do it more often.”

“Yes for sure.”

***

Todd ran into Neil in the hallway and said, “Don’t go in there. Knox is napping.”

“Napping? I thought you two were talking. Did he tell you what’s wrong?”

“He hasn’t been sleeping well. That’s all he told me. So I offered up our Grant-free room as a
resting place for now.”

“Okay, well, I hope he gets some rest.”

“I’m sure he will, but you and Charlie can stop worrying about him, okay? He just was off
because of the lack of sleep.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I am, Neil.”

“Okay, well, have you gotten your gift for the white elephant yet?”

“No.”
“Let’s go then!”

“You can’t come with me. You’ll see what it is and that’s cheating!”

“I’ll look away when you check out. Come on, it’ll be fun,” said Neil as he grabbed one of
Todd’s hands in his own, swinging their hands between them as they walked. Todd liked it
too much to point out that they didn’t need to put on a facade since Grant wasn’t around.

***

The night before everyone had to head home for Christmas break, everyone once again
gathered in the cave, their official hangout spot. They decided to do a white elephant
exchange and with seven of them, it could either be really great or pretty horrendous. It was
all in good fun anyway. That’s what was important.

Charlie was the last to arrive and Todd had to stifle a laugh when he got a good look at the
hat Charlie was wearing. It was a top hat with a bit of mistletoe sticking out. He kept going
up to Meeks and sticking his head over him to get a kiss. Todd found it really cute and he
could tell Meeks was enjoying himself every time he did it.

They started the exchange and it seemed like everyone had gone for gag gifts. Each of them
ended up with some variety of silly string, entirely-too-big sunglasses or pencils, whoopies
cushions, and Pitts ended up with a statue Neil brought that he had called “the god of the
cave”.

At one point, they were all standing around talking and goofing around and Charlie plopped
the hat onto Todd’s head and then called Neil over by saying, “Hey, Neil, Todd really needs
to talk to you!” Todd glared at his backside as he ran away.

“Hey, Todd, what’s up?”

“Oh, Charlie wanted you over here so you’d stand under the mistletoe on the hat and we’d
have to kiss. We don’t have to though. We don’t have to give him what he wants.”

“You know he’ll just try again until we do.”

Todd tried very hard to not let that statement hurt his feelings. Neil was acting as if it would
be a chore to kiss him.

They kiss quickly, more like a peck, before Todd is pulling away. “Okay, well, that’s that. It
looks like Meeks wants to talk to me over there. Bye now.”

“Todd? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing. I’m fine.”

Charlie came up to him when he reached Meeks and said, “You didn’t have to leave the hat
on, you could have taken it off any time, you know.”

Todd, seeing Neil approaching him, said, “I actually have to get going. I’ve got some packing
I still have to do.”

“Todd, you’ve been packed for ages. Talk to me!”

Todd ignored him and stormed out of the cave, but not before hearing Meeks say, “Just let
him go!” and then a smack and Charlie saying “Ow!” and Meeks replying, “That’s for
interfering!”

Everybody who had ever told him Neil actually liked him was sorely mistaken. Tonight was
proof of that. Maybe this break was actually good timing. Maybe being away from Neil a bit
would do him some good.
Chapter End Notes

Please leave a comment if you feel so inclined! I love hearing what people think! <3 If
you want to chat, hit me up on twitter @whaddyameanno or on tumblr
@makeyourlivesextraordinary
 Mr. K Was A Hell-Raiser
Chapter Summary

Todd and Neil talk, Grant strikes again, and Todd has a meeting with Mr. Keating.

Chapter Notes

Thanks so much to my friend Han for looking over this chapter for me! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Todd’s POV*

Over break, Neil had reached out to him. Todd often found himself staring at the message,
watching the cursor blink, blink, blink, as he tried to figure out the proper way to respond.

<From Neil> December 21st, 3:45pm

Todd, I don’t like the way we left things. You seemed really upset and I feel like I did
something wrong. Please let me know so I can properly apologize.

He wrote out several different responses.

<To Neil> December 21st, 4:57pm

Please just give me some space while I think everything over —

He deleted that, it would open too many questions to what “everything” was.
<To Neil> December 22nd 4:47am

You’re so sweet and kind and of course you don’t want me the way I want you but could
you at least pretend you care a little about my feelings before acting like kissing me is
the worst possible thing you could do?

That one—typed up in a bout of insomnia—didn’t last on the screen longer than a few
seconds before he hurriedly erased it. Obviously, he would not be sending that one.

Ultimately, he just didn’t answer the text as the days went by because he started overthinking
every response and it was easier to not respond at all.

The holidays passed and of course, Jeffrey’s girlfriend—well, fiance now—had gotten a ring
and proposal for Christmas. His mother was overjoyed and spent the entire rest of the break
talking about their wedding and ignoring Todd’s existence, which wasn’t much different than
usual. Todd was happy for them, of course he was, he just didn’t want to hear about it
anymore. Maybe that made him a selfish person. He just had a lot going on and he dreaded
going back, but he also dreaded staying here and so he was in a weird limbo.

When it finally was time to go back to school, he breathed a sigh of relief when he discovered
Neil wasn’t back yet. He probably wouldn’t be back for several hours and so Todd could plan
to be conveniently out of the room.

He had just finished putting his things away when there was a knock on the door.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Todd, it’s Charlie and Meeks. Can we come in?”

“Sure. What’s going on?”

“We were making sure you were safe. I got kind of a weird message from Brandon this
morning. Here, look,” said Meeks, handing his phone over to Todd.

<From Brandon (do not answer)> 8:33am

I don’t know what it is, maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I feel like someone has been
following me lately. I can’t say for sure, but it kind of looks like Grant. I’m going to flee
the area to try to get away from him.

<To Brandon (do not answer)> 9:35am

Stay safe. When you reach a safe location, let me know, okay?

“I haven’t heard from him since. I hope he’s okay,” said Meeks, taking back his phone.

“I’m sure he’s just driving and that’s why he hasn’t answered, babe.”

Before Todd could respond, the door opened and Neil entered. “Hey...Meeks, Charlie, what
are you all doing here?”

They filled Neil in on what they knew and then they exchanged a look between each other
and said, “Well, we’d better go finishing unpacking.”

“Yeah, lots to do, so little time! Bye!”

Now Neil and Todd were alone in the room and Todd wanted to punch them. This threw off
his plan to not be in the room when Neil arrived. He didn’t want to face him. He didn’t know
what to say even though he’d had several days to try to figure it out.
“Todd—,”

“I’m sorry I didn’t text back. I kept trying to figure out what to say, but I couldn’t and then I
panicked and just left it unanswered. I’m not really upset anymore. I just...knew this would
be awkward.”

“Why were you upset though? Can you at least tell me that?”

Todd looked at the ground as he mumbled, “There was the hat, the mistletoe hat, and you
acted like kissing me would be so awful. I don’t think I’m that repulsive.”

He could feel Neil looking at him and he gathered the courage to look up at him. Neil looked
remorseful, but also had another emotion displayed on his face. One that almost looked like,
well, Todd wasn’t quite sure what it looked like, but dare he hoped at the least admiration?

Neil stepped closer to him and Todd sucked in a breath. He took one hand in his own, and
placed the other on his cheek. He said, softly, “You’re not repulsive, Todd. I wish you knew
—,”

The door burst open and the two of them jumped away from each other, Todd not having
realized just how close they were standing. Todd wanted to be angry that they were
interrupted and he didn’t get to hear what Neil was going to say, but when he looked up to
see Meeks looking terrified, he felt a pit in his stomach.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” asked Neil, ever the one to jump into action in a perceived
crisis.

“I, uh, I just got a call from the hospital. I guess Brandon made me his emergency contact and
never changed it. When he was driving out of town this morning, an unmarked car drove
straight into him and then drove off. Eyewitnesses didn’t really get a good look at the person,
but they know it was a guy. Brandon is okay. He’s got some injuries, but he’s alive.”
Charlie ran in and looked relieved to see Meeks. “Steven, don’t do that to me! You got a
phone call and then just ran out! What’s going on?”

All of them sat in a circle on the floor, visibly shaken. Charlie was the first to break the heavy
silence that had settled upon them. “We need to take screenshots of those texts from Brandon
and get them to Knox. He’s the one who has been meeting up with Ginny and all them to try
to figure out a way to take down Grant. Any evidence could be helpful.”

“Has Knox mentioned when they’re meeting again?” asked Neil.

“No, he hasn’t, why?”

“Why don’t we all meet in our meeting place? We could all talk everything out together.”

“I’ll ask and see if they’d be cool with that.”

Todd and Meeks just sat there quietly while Charlie and Neil talked. He was afraid if he said
anything, he’d vomit or start crying and neither of those options sounded super appealing
right now. He was already starting to spiral a bit. If he had just pressed charges against Grant
when he’d had the chance, maybe none of this would’ve happened and everyone would be
okay. And, unfortunately, any evidence he had against Grant—hospital records, pictures
taken when he went in—were in the hands of his parents now and he didn’t have access to
them. He felt so useless and upset. How long was Grant going to be able to torment them?
Was all of this worth it? Surely his friends and Neil would drop him, realizing he’s too much
trouble for all they’ve gone through. Todd wouldn’t blame them one bit.

“Todd, Todd, TODD!”

“Huh? What?”
Todd looked around and realized Charlie and Meeks were no longer in the room and he was
hyperventilating.

“Whatever you’re thinking right now, it’s not true. This isn’t your fault. We’ll get Grant. We
will,” said Neil as he spoke calmly, trying to soothe him. “But I think in the meantime, you
should schedule an appointment with Mr. Keating. He’s really helped me the few times I’ve
seen him, and he can probably help you too. If you don’t want to go alone, I can wait with
you outside of his office.”

“Thank you, Neil. You’re right. It probably would help to talk to him.” He paused, unsure if
he wanted to say what was on his mind, but he decided to go ahead. “What were you going to
say earlier?”

Neil shook his head. “You have too much on your plate right now. Let’s table that for a bit,
okay? I promise I will tell you, but at a better time.”

***

For being early on in the semester, Todd was surprised at how easily he was able to schedule
an appointment with Mr. Keating. He shook the whole time, his stomach constricting, and
thoughts of what could go wrong whirling around in his brain. Several times he almost stood
up and walked right out, but he had promised Neil he would give this a try and so here he
was.

He had, of course, seen Mr. Keating around campus before. He seemed like a nice enough
man, but he supposed one never could be too sure, at least in his experience. But Neil trusted
him and confided in him, and Todd trusted Neil so that’s why he was going through with
this.

Mr. Keating came out of his office and greeted him when it was time for his appointment
which Todd was grateful for because he had been psyching himself up to stand and head for
the office for several minutes to prepare to go in, but he hadn’t yet been successful. The two
of them walked quietly into the office and Mr. Keating shut the door behind them, and then
he smiled at Todd and said,
“We have crossed paths here at Welton before, but have never really interacted. Allow me to
introduce myself, I am Mr. Keating. And you are Todd, correct?”

“Y-yes,” he said quietly, but at least he was able to say anything at all.

“Nice to meet you, Todd. What brings you in to see me today?”

Todd opened his mouth to explain about what had happened with Brandon and how it was
really freaking him out, but promptly closed it again. He realized he would have to start way
before that for anything to make sense contextually. Was he prepared to share everything? To
potentially get Neil or others who were helping him in trouble if this man in front of him
decided to use this information against them? Maybe he shouldn’t have come here, maybe
this was just a big mistake. He stood and turned to leave and was stopped by Mr. Keating.

“Wow, hey, Todd, where are you going? We only just started.”

“I-I don’t think I can tell you what’s going on.”

Mr. Keating looked at him sympathetically. “If you’re worried I’m going to tell Pushover
whatever you tell me, I won’t, unless you’re going to harm yourself or others.”

Todd gaped at him and Keating said, “Yes, I know that’s what you all call our new principal
and quite frankly, I have to agree with you that on-the-nose description.”

Todd smiled, a tiny little smile, but it made the smile on Keating’s face grow ever wider.

“Now, take a seat, and fill me in on what you wanted to talk about.”

Todd stumbled through an explanation of the events of the entire last semester. How Grant
followed him here, how his friends have been trying to protect him, what just happened with
Brandon. Throughout the whole long story, Keating listened attentively. Todd noticed a
 moment where his face flashed with something like recognition and Todd wondered if Neil
had mentioned any of this stuff before.

Todd finished off with, “We’re now trying to gather all the evidence we can of Grant’s
misdeeds so we can get him out of here. I don’t want him to be able to hurt anyone else.”

It was silent for a long while and Mr. Keating said softly, “I know you blame yourself for
everyone getting hurt, Todd, but Mr. Booth’s actions are not your fault. And maybe you can’t
see what others see in you, how special you are, how worthy of love and care and friendship
you are, but based on what you’ve told me today, you have found a great group of people
who just want you to be safe and happy and that’s something most people seek out in this
life. You should cling to that. You should let them in and you should allow them to care for
you the way it sounds like you care for them.”

“Now as for your plan, I think you should make extra copies, in case anything should happen
to the originals. And if you ever need someone to back you up, like if you’re talking to
Pushover, let me know and I’ll be there. No one should have to be worried about their safety
on top of worrying about their academics. School is hard enough on you all at this age. I’ll
keep an eye on Mr. Booth too. You will feel safe to live again, Todd, if I have anything to do
with it.”

The time for their appointment was up and Todd shook hands with Mr. Keating and walked
out of there feeling like a giant weight was taken off his shoulders. Maybe they had an
administrator in their corner and maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be alright.

Chapter End Notes

Please leave a comment if you want letting me know what you thought! Or hit me up on
twitter @whaddyameanno or on tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary.
 Because We Are Food For Worms Lads
Chapter Summary

The year anniversary of Charlie's mother arrives and it's a tough day for Charlie. Pitts,
Meeks, Todd, and Neil try to cheer him up.

Chapter Notes

This chapter is for my brother Kirke, may he rest in peace. Everything Charlie felt for
his mother in this chapter is how I feel right now. This chapter is a bit heavy towards the
beginning, but it gets lighter in the end.

Thank you to my friend Han who looked over this chapter! They have an awesome story
you can find here: My Funny Valentine

We are approaching some chapters I think you all may find super interesting ;)

*Charlie’s POV*

A year. A whole year it’s been without his mother. The person he always felt closest to in his
family. The person he confided in and joked around with, and with whom he shared so much
of his personality. Gone.

At times, it still didn’t feel real. Like he would open his eyes and she’d be there. He talked to
her a lot, out loud. Told her about things he hoped she’d be proud of. Worried she wouldn’t
like the person he’s become. At times he felt unsure of how to proceed in life without her.

His father didn’t help things. It’s true everyone processes grief in different ways, but he
didn’t even seem sad about his wife’s death. It was like he was unattached from his emotions.
And it made Charlie angry.

He knew he’d been kind of a difficult person to deal with this month and he was so grateful
to Steven for being there for him. January was just a rotten month now, having been forever
tainted by the death of his mother.

The morning of the anniversary—Charlie scoffed at the usage of that word for such an
occasion, as if this were a thing to celebrate instead of wish had never happened in the first
place—Charlie “woke” up bright and early—he had never really slept in the first place—and
left his and Meeks’ shared room. He just wanted to be alone.
Last year, shortly after she died, he had gotten drunk and stupidly slept with Neil. He
wouldn’t be stupidly sleeping with anyone this year, he knew that for a fact, but the
temptation to get drunk was very strong. Maybe it would take away his pain. Maybe he
wouldn’t have to endure the heightened sense of mourning this day was sure to bring him, the
sorrow and gut-wrenching grief, the guilt of still being alive while she was dead.

He had to find something to drink. He had to know if it would help.

While it was true he had thrown out his alcohol, he knew Neil still had some hidden away in
his room. He crept up to their door and opened it softly. He peered inside and when he saw
that both Neil and Todd were sleeping soundly, he edged into their room, to where he knew
Neil hid his alcohol, and grabbed a bottle of vodka. He hid it under his shirt and then sneaked
back out, closing the door gently behind him.

He ventured to the cave he and his friends had basically made their safe place and he went to
open the bottle, but stopped himself. What was he doing? He couldn’t drink this. He was
trying to be good. Surely Steven would dump him if he drank this. And Neil would give him
this look of such disappointment. He couldn’t bear that thought. His mom would not want
this. She always hated when he drank, but she knew he would anyway and just told him to be
safe. How he wished he could hug her right now, or she could hold him and tell him
everything would be alright.

He wasn’t aware he had started crying until he felt wetness dripping onto his arm. He was
tired. Tired of well-meaning people with their “she’s in a better place”. What better place is
there for her to be than here on earth with her son? Why was she taken from him at such a
young age? What is he supposed to do without her?

She never even got to see the part of him he kept secret. Would she accept him if she knew?
Would she like Steven? What point were all these questions if he would never get any
answers and yet they still came into his head unprompted.

He cried and cried and cried until he ached and the tears just stopped coming. His head was
pounding and he was sure if he tried to speak he’d sound like he had the worst head cold
imaginable. He just wanted to sleep, but he didn’t want to head back to campus. Maybe this
cave would make an okay resting place for now. His last thought before he drifted off to sleep
was that his mom would scold him for getting his clothes all dirty.

***

“Charlie? Charlie, wake up. What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!”

He bolted upright, the voice scaring him awake. He blinked his eyes rapidly, trying to clear
the sleepiness away. In front of him were Steven, Todd, Neil, and Pitts, looking concerned.

“I just—,” he started, but then stopped, not knowing how to finish that sentence. He noticed
the vodka bottle on the ground and then held it out to Neil guiltily.

“I stole this from your room, I’m sorry.”

Neil’s eyes widened and he took it. Charlie waited for him to say something judgy, but he
never did. They all looked at him, as if waiting for him to speak.
“It was my intention to drink it, but I didn’t. I swear, I didn’t. I was just sad and thought it
might help, but then I realized it wouldn’t. I shouldn’t have taken it from you, Neil. I’m so
sorry.”

Neil knelt down beside him and pulled him into a hug. “It’s okay, Charlie. We’re all just glad
you’re okay.”

Steven helped him up off the ground and pulled him into his arms. “Charlie, I know today is
hard for you, but please let us keep you company. You shouldn’t have to be alone today.”

“I just didn’t want to burden you with my sadness.”

“Honey, it’s not a burden. There’s no magical timetable for grief and we all just want to
support you through it.”

“Even if you had had a drink, we all would have supported you,” Neil said. “But I’m proud
of you for staying strong.”

“Yeah me too!” said Pitts and Todd at the same time. Everyone giggled at that.

“Now, come on. Let’s get you back to campus. We understand if you don’t feel up to it, but
Pitts was telling us about a winter carnival that’s happening in the next town over. We were
thinking it sounded fun.”

“Yeah,” said Charlie, nodding his head. “That does sound fun. I’m in.”

***

The winter carnival turned out to be just what Charlie needed. He had been wanting to isolate
himself and deal with his sadness that the month of January brings him alone, but that was
just making everything worse. His friends, as usual, knew what he needed and what would be
best for him, and he was eternally grateful to them.

There were all sorts of games and snacks at the carnival and so much to look at. Steven had
noticed him staring at a giant tiger plushie and had set out to win it for him. It took him
several tries, but he finally got it which resulted in Charlie hugging it to him and giving
Steven the biggest kiss he could. Pitts, who had brought a camera and was taking pictures of
them all the whole time, snapped a photo, and Neil whistled. Todd cleared his throat and
tapped his finger on his invisible watch and everyone laughed.

Charlie noted that it was good to see how much Todd had opened up from that first time they
had met him at that party so long ago. He was nothing like that timid, nervous boy from old,
and it made Charlie feel warm. They all took care of each other and Charlie needed to let his
friends care for him. He had always been so focused on shouldering his own burden that even
when others offered to lighten it for him, he had never taken up the offer. He was starting to
realize that that was what friends do and if he could do it for his friends, he could start letting
them do it for him since they wanted to.
“What are you thinking about so intently over here?” asked Meeks as he handed Charlie a hot
chocolate. Charlie looked up at him and noticed he was alone. Pitts and Todd and Neil had
evidently gone off to explore, leaving only the two of them. Charlie held his hot chocolate
cup in one hand and grabbed Meeks’ hand in the other, leading them to a bench nearby to sit
on. It might be cold to the touch at first, but he had no doubt they would quickly warm each
other up.

“Just that I’m so grateful for you all and I couldn’t have asked for a better friend group. Or a
better boyfriend. Meeks, thank you so much. It’s easy for me to get so in my head about
things especially with my mom that sometimes I forget I don’t have to do this all alone. I love
you so much.”

Yes, this was the first time he had ever uttered the words aloud, but it wasn’t the first time he
felt them. He honestly couldn’t tell you when that was. It had so long been a part of him that
he sometimes wondered if he hadn’t always loved Meeks.

“I love you too, Charlie.”

The two of them kissed again and only stopped when Neil said, “Honestly you two! We leave
to go on one ride and you two are back at it!”

But Charlie didn’t even care that he was being teased. He would go through teasing every day
just to know that at the end of the day, he had Meeks.

It was getting dark and all of them started gathering up their things, having a long drive ahead
of them to get back to campus. Pitts took out his headphones and put them in, listening to
music in the back. Todd looked like he was going to fall asleep any minute and sure enough,
as soon as he got into the car, his eyes closed and his head drooped. Luckily, he had a nice
pillow in the form of Neil, who looked at him like he had never seen a more beautiful picture
in his entire life. Charlie, who was driving, made eye contact with him in the rearview mirror
and said, “Now it’s your turn. When are you going to make a move?”

He didn’t get an answer in response, but that’s okay. He could see the minute the look of
fierce determination crossed Neil’s face and he knew it’d be any day now.
 You Look About As Stirred Up As A Cesspool
Chapter Summary

Neil and Grant are partners for a history presentation. Spoiler alert: Neil isn't thrilled
about this.

Chapter Notes

Yes, this chapter is shorter than usual, but there is a reason for that which will make
sense in the next chapter.

Thank you, as always, to my friend Han for their input! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Neil’s POV*

Classes had been back in session for about a month and of course, the workload was piling
up. On top of several essays already assigned, their history teacher decided to have them do a
presentation with partners. Which wouldn’t have been so bad if they had been allowed to
choose their partners. But no, of course not, they were assigned and that’s how Neil got stuck
with the worst possible partner: Grant.

Maybe the teacher had not picked up on the animosity between the two of them. How they
talked shit whenever they could and glared when they could not. If this were a musical,
they’d be singing a song about how much they despise each other a la “What Is This
Feeling?” from Wicked. Or maybe the teacher had picked up on the ever-growing tension and
assigned them as partners because it was amusing to them, or to get them to “settle their
differences” for the sake of the project. Regardless of the reason, they were now partners and
this was going to be a disaster.

They had been given this class period to figure out what their presentation would be over and
to maybe even start outlining or brainstorming what to do, but Grant and Neil spent most of
the time just staring each other down and glaring. Neil was half-tempted to just say he’d do
the whole thing and give Grant the notes for it just so he wouldn’t have to interact with him,
but part of him was petty and wanted Grant to have to do the work as well so he refrained
from offering.

There were about 15 minutes left in class when Grant said, “So, trouble in paradise?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You and Todd having trouble? You don’t seem to be all touchy-feely like usual. Are you
guys having a fight? That’d be a real shame,” Grant said in a way that made it clear he
definitely didn’t think it would be.

“Todd and I are fine. Great, actually. We don’t have to touch constantly to prove our love.”
Neil did not miss the irony in this statement at all. Ever since the night of the fair a couple of
weeks ago, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he needed to tell Todd how he felt. Every
time he had tried to, it just hadn’t come out, or Todd had been busy. He knew he needed to
stop making excuses and just go for it, but he was nervous.

Grant smirked at him and leaned in, conspiratorially, “Did he stop putting out, causing you to
lose interest?”

Neil clenched his fists. He tried to be subtle about it, but he could tell Grant knew he had
struck a nerve. “Don’t talk about Todd like that.”

“Mmm. Clearly he did. You seem frustrated and tense. You should ask him to give you a
massage. He’s good for that, if not anything else.”

Ick. Ick. Ick. Why was Grant such a disgusting person? Why was he being partnered with
him? Why hasn’t the bell rung yet? This has been the longest class ever. And try as he might,
he couldn’t get the image of Todd and Grant together out of his head and it bothered him. It
felt kind of wrong to feel jealous of a person he knew Todd did not have a great experience
with, but he was only human and envisioning the two of them together made his stomach hurt
and his anger boil up. He tried not to let it show though. He tried to keep his composure. He
didn’t want Grant to see just how much his words had gotten to him.
“Are we ever actually going to discuss this project or…?”

“I don’t think we need to, I’m sure whatever you come up with will be great.”

Neil went to retort and then, of course, the bell rang, and Grant fled the scene. Once, just
once, it would be nice to feel like he had the upper hand on that asshole, or at least get the last
word, but no matter. The less he reacted, the better, probably. Since he was going to have to
deal with him one-on-one at least until this project was over. He was not doing this by
himself, no way.

He packed up his things and headed to his last class of the day. Grant was, thankfully, not in
that one. Charlie and Meeks were though and that was nice.

He slipped into the classroom and started venting his frustrations about having Grant as a
partner project before the bell rang and he had to take his seat. Luckily, time was on his side
for once and the class passed by pretty quickly which was a huge relief.

As he stepped into the hallway, he nearly ran into Todd.

“Oh, hey, Todd, how was your d —,”

“I need to talk to you.”

Neil took a good look at Todd and realized he was extremely red in the face. He looked really
nervous. Had Grant done something to him in the little time since he’d seen him? But Grant
wasn’t in Todd’s final class, Neil knew this for a fact. Had he somehow heard what Grant had
said about him and was just upset about it? Neil was on high alert, needing to make sure
everything was okay.

“Okay, yeah, let’s talk. Do I need to involve the others in this or—,”
 Todd gaped at him and quickly shook his head. He grabbed Neil’s hand and practically
dragged him to their room. The door closed behind them and Neil asked,

“Todd, what is going on?”

Chapter End Notes

Please leave a comment if you'd like to telling me how you felt about this chapter! Or if
you want to talk about DPS with me, you can find me on twitter @whaddyameanno or
tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary.
 Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer's Day, Thou Art More
Lovely And More Temperate
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

*Neil’s POV*

He expected to get an answer or at least some indication from Todd that he had heard his
question, but instead, Todd just stared at him. Then, without warning, Todd was pushing him
up against the door. Neil was so startled, he dropped his pile of books.

“Todd?” Neil asked, staring at Todd who was staring at his lips. Then, before he could say
anything else, Todd’s mouth was meeting his own, and all he could think was Todd. Kissing.
Me. What is happening? Todd’s kissing me? Hello? Oh my god?

Then his brain shut up and he just focused on kissing him back. He had lost track of time and
all he knew was how good this felt and how he wanted to keep doing it and also why hadn’t
they done this sooner and also oh yeah, breathing, that’s a thing humans need to do, and he
had to pull away, gasping for air.

“I’m sorry to ambush you like that.”

He’s sorry. He’s sorry? Todd kissed me and we just made out and now he’s sorry? Oh no. Oh
no. No no no no. This is terrible. I don’t want him to be sorry. I want him to do it some more.

“I just...got tired of waiting to see if you would make a move and Charlie told me I should
just go for it and so I did.”

Neil just blinked at him. And Todd just looked more and more embarrassed and ashamed and
he should really speak up, but he kind of forgot how to talk on account of the fact that TODD
ANDERSON JUST KISSED HIM.
“I —,”

“You?” Todd prompted.

“Umm, I’m sorry. I need a second. I think you kind of stole my ability to think about
anything but your lips.”

Todd smirked. “So, it was okay?”

“Okay? Todd, it was more than okay. So uh nothing’s wrong then?”

“No, why? Is something wrong on your end?”

“No, no, definitely not. I just, it’s just uh, when you said we needed to talk, I got scared that
Grant had done something to you.”

“Oh. Oh god. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just that Charlie and I had a
conversation today about my feelings for you and he was like ‘why does Neil have to make
the first move? Why don’t you?’ and you know what, it was like something clicked to me.
Like with Gr—in the past, I’ve always gone where others led me, and I...don’t have to do
that. And we’ve been doing this dance for so long it kind of feels like we’re in one of those
competitions where you have to keep dancing or you lose. But I don’t want to stand still. I
don’t want to lose. But I don’t want to win either. I just like dancing, uh, with you. But I want
it to be real. And I know you do too. We’ve been so silly this whole time. And it seemed like
you were going to say something to me about it when we got back from break, but then life
happened and we let it happen and we didn’t talk about it again. At one point or another,
every single one of the guys has said something that has made me think. About you and me.
About us. And I think it’s time we have that talk, Neil Perry. That is, if you want to.”

The whole time Todd was talking, he was pacing, not fully able to look him in the eyes, but
very passionate about what he was saying. He was beautiful and the words he was saying
were beautiful and Neil didn’t think he’d ever heard him say that much at once the whole
time he had known him.
“I’m sorry if I’m talking so much. I got a bit antsy while talking to Charlie at lunch and may
have ordered a huge coffee and had waaaay too much caffeine.”

Neil smiled and laughed and said, “You have no idea how cute you are, do you?”

Todd stopped pacing and blushed, looking suddenly bashful.

“Come on, let’s sit. I feel like that will be more comfortable while we talk.”

Neil and Todd sat side-by-side on Neil’s bed, pressed so close together their legs were
touching. Neil reached for Todd’s hand and Todd placed his own hand in Neil’s and Neil
squeezed and Todd squeezed back.

“You know, back in August, when we met, I had no idea we’d be here like this all these
months later. I thought you’d step in, pretend to be my boyfriend, and then we’d never see
each other again. And that thought saddens me because you have truly changed my life for
the better, Neil Perry. The sun shines big and bright in the sky, but it’s nothing compared to
the brightness you have brought to my life. I don’t know why we waited so long to do this—
well, I can guess. Feelings are scary and hard to articulate at times and it’s easier to just take
things as they come and roll with them, but I don’t want to do that anymore. I got tired of just
rolling over and letting life do its thing. I’m trying to get what I want and what I want is you,
if you’ll have me.”

“There’s no if about it, Todd. I want to be your boyfriend. And I want you to be mine, well,
not mine but my boyfriend, you get what I’m saying here right?”

“Yes, I do,” Todd said as he giggled. “You’re adorable when you’re flustered.”

“Well, get used to me being adorable then, I guess because I get easily flustered around you.”
“It’s so funny.”

“What is?”

“You give off this air of confidence and poise and a can-do attitude, but around little old me,
all that fades away, and I’m over here trying to figure out how to exist in front of others, but
I’ve always been able to just be when I’m around you. It’s like your presence in my life
calms me down and I don’t have to worry. That’s a new feeling for me.”

This statement brought about a weird mixture of emotions. On one hand, he was sad that no
one had ever made Todd feel like that before, but on the other hand, he was thrilled that Todd
was able to feel so calm around him. He felt as if maybe, just maybe he was doing something
right.

“So, boyfriend, is there anything in particular you feel like doing right now?” Neil asked
playfully.

“Well, boyfriend, I was thinking about maybe taking a nap because the sugar high I had
temporarily is fading and I feel like I’m going to crash,” Todd replied, smirking. “Feel free to
join me if you’d like,” he said as he got underneath the covers on Neil’s bed.

“Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? You get a boyfriend and all of a sudden his bed is yours.”

“That is how this works, right? Plus, I like your blanket. It might just be the softest thing I
have ever felt.”

“Well, it’s yours now.”

“Neil, I was just kidding.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m not. I would give it to you if you asked.”

“I won’t ask, but that’s sweet of you. May I borrow it though?”

“Of course,” said Neil, kissing him on the forehead as he yawned. “Any time.”

Todd had just started to sleep cuddled up against Neil with Neil smiling down at him when
there was a pounding on the door.

“Go away!” Neil yelled, trying not to wake Todd.

“It’s Charlie, I need to speak to Todd.”

“No, Todd is sleeping.”

“Neillllllll, come on!”

“Leave my boyfriend alone! You can talk to him later!”

“BOYFRIEND?! SO HE DID IT? HE TALKED TO YOU?!”

Neil threw a pillow at the door and yelled, “He’ll talk to you later .”

“Ugh, fine. Be that way,” Charlie said before storming off.

Neil looked back down at Todd to discover he was smiling. “If you’re trying to pretend that
didn’t wake you up, you’re doing a very bad job.”
 “Well you’re the one with a passion and talent for acting. I’m just your arm candy. It’s okay,
you can admit it.”

“Ha! Well, you’ve got that right because you are by the far the most gorgeous person I’ve
ever seen.”

“Neil,” Todd whined. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Compliment you? I’ve been waiting to just be able to say whatever I can about
how I feel about you and now that I have that opportunity, I don’t want to let it go so easily.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just not great at taking compliments. I’ll try to do better.”

“You’re okay, Todd. I just don’t want you to think I’m saying them for any other reason
except meaning them.”

“I know you wouldn’t do that, Neil. You’re so good.”

“Do you mind if I work on some homework while you’re napping? I’ll be right here the
whole time, I’m just not tired, but I know you want to cuddle.”

“That would be fine,” said Todd sleepily as his eyes slipped closed once again.

If this was how the rest of forever was going to go, well, then it was a pretty good start.

Chapter End Notes

Thank you to my friend, Han, for looking this over for me. And thank you to everyone
who has read or is currently reading this story. It means so much to me that people are
enjoying it. I would love to know your thoughts on this one as it has been a long time
coming. If you'd like to chat, my twitter is @whaddyameanno and my tumblr is
@makeyourlivesextraordinary
 I, Chief Professor, Am Of It
Chapter Summary

DOUBLE DATE! DOUBLE DATE! DOUBLE DATE!

Chapter Notes

I love this chapter and I hope you all will also! Thank you to everyone who has ever
read or is still reading my story. I've come to love this universe a lot (seeing as how I've
lived in it a lot the past 3 years) and as you may or may not have noticed, I *think* I
have a final chapter count. I just outlined the rest of the story and, provided my ADHD
brain doesn't set it off track, this story will end at Chapter 43.

I'm excited to see how you all take to it and I'm also excited to find out what's next in
store for me when this story reaches its close.

Thanks so much to my friend Han who has helped me greatly with this story! ily, friend!

Anyway, happy reading! It's a good one! <3

*Neil’s POV*

Neil was really hoping Todd would wake up again soon, his homework was boring, and he
was filled with adrenaline from the events of today. He and Todd were actually together.
Finally! He couldn’t believe it.

Neil’s phone started blaring, waking Todd up.

“Who’sit? Wha’s going on?” Todd mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s Charlie wanting to facetime,” said Neil, rolling his eyes. “Should I answer?”
Todd sat up and put his head on Neil’s shoulder. “Now’s as good a time as any. We both
know he’ll just keep calling.”

Neil accepted the call and opened his mouth to say something when Charlie screamed,
“Stevie, baby, you have to see this!!! They’re so precious! Todd’s got his head on Neil’s
shoulder.”

“Charles, I have told you not to call me that!”

“Oooooh,” Neil chided.

“This isn’t tease Charlie hours, this is celebrate the happy couple hours! OH MY GOD!”

“Charlie, please don’t scream. I just woke up.”

“My apologies, sleeping beauty. As I was saying, I had an idea! I think we should have a
double date!”

“Charlie, they haven’t even gone on their first real date yet, let’s not —,”

“That sounds so fun,” Todd piped up. “I don’t want to speak for both of us, but, Neil, if you’d
be up for it, I’d like to do that.”

“HELL YEAH! Let’s do this thing!”

“Charlie—,”
“Whoop, gotta go. Getting a noise complaint. We’ll talk later.”

Neil ended the call and put his phone down. He set his hand on Todd’s as if asking for
permission to hold it. Todd entwined their hands happily, using his other hand to stifle a
yawn.

“I’m sorry my phone woke you.”

“It’s okay. I needed to get up anyway. I’ve got homework.”

“Do you want some help or do you want me to scram?”

“Stay. Please. Even if I don’t need help, I just want to spend time with you.”

Todd started in on his homework and Neil was able to finish his own. It was nice, the two of
them working side-by-side in contented silence.

Todd stopped writing at one point and Neil was about to ask if he needed help when he
spoke, “If you don’t want to double with Meeks and Charlie we don’t have to.”

“What? Who said I didn’t?”

“Well, no one, but you didn’t seem overly excited about it earlier.”

“I just thought you were being nice. You really want to?”

“Yes, if that’s okay.”

Neil leaned over, pressing a kiss to the top of Todd’s head. “Of course it’s okay. We’ll get all
the details figured out then.”

They went back to working. Neil grabbed his history textbook which reminded him of the
project and being partners with Grant. He sighed.

Todd looked up at him. “Is something wrong?”

“I have to tell you something.”

“Uh oh, you’re sick of me already, huh?” Todd laughed, but it sounded forced and it was
clear that there was a lot of anxiety behind that joke-y question.

“No, nothing like that. I’m so happy we’re together now. It’s like everything fell right into
place and it’s wonderful. I’m just dreading telling you because you won’t like it.”

“Can you please just tell me? I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, but saying
stuff like that without context really doesn’t help my anxiety.”

Here goes nothing…

“I got paired with Grant for the history project.”

Todd looked over him, scanning his body for injuries before asking, “Did he hurt you?”

“No. I just thought I’d tell you that I have to work with him. Well, ‘with’ is kind of a stretch.
If he had his way, I’d be doing the whole thing.”
“I know he makes it difficult, but please no more violence, okay? I couldn’t take it if you got
hurt again.”

“I promise. Besides, I have a plan for how to make sure he behaves.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll tell you about it some other time. For now, let’s not talk about Grant any more.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

***

Charlie, Meeks, Todd, and Neil ended up deciding to do their double date the upcoming
weekend.

It had been a long week and Neil was looking forward to letting off a little steam. It was also
just really nice to see Todd so excited for it. They hadn’t yet decided what they were going to
do, but Charlie had stated part of the fun was being spontaneous.

Charlie called driving with Meeks, of course, in the passenger seat. This left the backseat for
Neil and Todd. They sat as close as they were safely and legally able to, and Neil kept
catching Charlie smirking at them from the rearview window. After the fourth time, Neil said,
“What?”

“Nothing. I just love your love. I’m practically giddy.”

“It seems like you’re more excited about it than we are.”

“Well we all waited and waited for you to get together for months, can you blame me?”

“You two took your time also.”

“It’s not the same and you know it! You two were so aggravatingly, obviously pining whereas
I had no idea Meeks even liked me like that.”

“Oh, that’s—,”

“C’mon, guys, stop bickering. The important thing is we all found our way to each other.”

“Yeah, Toddy boy’s right!”

“Charlie, I value your friendship so, so much and that’s why I can tell you with love how
much I hate that nickname and if you use it again, I will have no choice but to tickle you
under your chin.”

Charlie turned to glare at Meeks for a second before turning his eyes back to the road. “You
told him where I’m ticklish?! What kind of a boyfriend are you?”

“That’s just payback for putting sour cream on my pie and making me think it was whipped
cream!”

As the two of them continued bickering, Neil grabbed his and Todd’s entwined hands and
kissed Todd’s hand, making Todd smile widely. Todd leaned in and Neil followed suit and
soon they were kissing.

“Umm, hello?! Did no one hear me?”

“No, of course not, Charlie. They’re in their honeymoon phase still. Allow them.”

“Okay, well, I still need to know where we’re going and what we’re doing.”

“Why don’t we try that new Italian place that opened a few weeks back? As far as I know
they don’t take reservations and we could probably wait if we have to.”

“Yeah that sounds good, but the minute these two pull a Lady and the Tramp, I’m out.”

“Liar. You’d whip out the camera and post that to instagram so fast. Admit it.”

“Neil? Todd? Italian sound good to you both?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sounds good,” said Todd, his face as red as the marinara sauce someone
would likely have on their plate shortly.

“Sounds yummy,” Neil chimed in.

“But not as yummy as your boyfriend, huh?”

“Charlie, stop!”

“I’m just telling it like I see it! You make out in my car where I can see it, you get subjected
to my loving teasing.”

“As I recall, Charlie, you once went on a five minute tangent about how you hated it when
Meeks was away because you just loved being together that much.”
Neil gave him a high five and smiled at Todd, looking at him with what could only be
described as “heart eyes”. Todd saw it now, what everyone had been trying to tell him for
months. Neil genuinely did like him back.

“Oh, wow, look at that! We’ve arrived!” Charlie quickly stated as he pulled into a parking
spot.

“Look at that, Todd, he can dish it, but can’t take it.”

“I’m going to go talk to the hostess, see how long the wait’ll be.”

“I didn’t go too far, did I?” asked Todd nervously.

“Nah,” replied Meeks. “He’s just not a fan of being vulnerable. He’ll be fine. I, on the other
hand, loved hearing about that and would love to know more when you’ve got the time.”

Meeks looked at him, still looking nervous and said, “Seriously, Todd, he’s okay. His eyes
flashed with pride when you teased back, it’s practically Charlie’s love language.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I am. It’ll all be okay, I promise.”

Charlie came back wrapping his arm around Meeks declaring, “Gentlemen, they should have
a table for us in about 15 minutes.”

“That’s not too bad. Let’s sit over on the benches while we wait.”

They were seated talking quietly amongst themselves for a couple of minutes before a voice
squealed, “Todd?!”
Neil felt Todd tense up beside him before relaxing once he spotted whomever it was—a girl
with short curly brown hair.

Todd stood and the girl threw herself into his arms, squeezing tightly. Neil stood also, ready
to step in if need be, but so far Todd didn’t look uncomfortable. Just who was this?

“Ginny! It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too! I know we’ve texted a bit since Knox put us back in touch, but it’s
not the same as seeing you in person. You look great!” Her eyes flicked over to look at Neil
and they widened slightly. “Is this him? Is this Neil?”

“Yes,” said Todd, pulling Neil into his side. “This is my boyfriend, Neil. Neil, this is my best
friend Ginny. She and I met at Balincrest.”

Neil felt himself relax completely. Yes, he remembered how excited Todd had been when
Knox had mentioned meeting Ginny. It was good to put a face to a name.

“Boyfriend?! When did this happen? Last I knew you were pining hard for your fake
boyfriend.”

“I finally made a move at Charlie’s insistence and here we are,” said Todd.

Upon hearing his name, Charlie came over with Meeks and the trio exchanged introductions
and pleasantries. Neil spotted Ginny giving him suspicious looks which Neil both understood
and was trying very hard not to be hurt by. He knew Ginny had most likely seen at least a
little of how Grant had treated Todd and was therefore wary of him, he just wished he could
show her that he’s nothing like Grant.
Ginny turned to Charlie and said, “Knox mentioned you all wanted to set up a meeting to
plan how to take down Grant. We should get that set up pretty soon.”

They had all exchanged numbers, well, except for Todd, of course, when they were being
called to their table.

“It was nice to meet you all. Todd, we should get together soon, just you and I.”

“Definitely!”

“It was great meeting you, Ginny,” Neil said sincerely.

Ginny merely nodded curtly at him and then she was gone.

So much for good first impressions…

Dinner was delicious and it took away a bit of the bad taste meeting Ginny had left in his
mouth. He knew he was just going to have to work harder to show he would never do
anything to hurt Todd. And who knows? Maybe someday she and Neil could even be
friends.

“Yo, Neil, what’s got you thinking so hard over there?” asked Charlie, waving a hand in front
of his face. Neil blinked, shaking his head in the hopes that his brain would stop pestering
him with anxious thoughts about how to get Todd’s best friend to see that he’s not an evil
dickwad like Todd’s last boyfriend.

Todd looked at him concernedly and Neil did his best to put on what he hoped was a
convincing smile. He really didn’t want to have to explain what was bothering him, not when
Todd was having a great time and in such great spirits from seeing his best friend for the first
time in what had to be at least a year.
“Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking about the history project.”

Charlie winced in sympathy but then smacked him on the arm lightly. “We’re supposed to be
having fun tonight, man, not worrying about dumb stuff like homework. You have plenty of
other nights to worry about that, let’s just have some fun! Since a representative from team
cheeks picked our first destination, why don’t we have a representative from anderperry pick
our next one?”

“Come again?” asked Neil while Meeks gasped exasperatedly and Todd choked on his drink.

“Charlie, I told you this before, we don’t get to declare our own ship name, that’s not how
this works.”

“I’m sorry, ship name? What?”

“It’s when you combine two people’s names in a relationship. Hence, ship. I guess we’ve
been declared ‘anderperry’, Neil.”

“Oh yeah, we’ve been calling you all that for weeks.”

“Who is we?”

“All of us, even Knox.”

“Well why do you want to be cheeks?” asked Neil.

“Because it reminds me of butts,” said Charlie. Todd and Neil snickered and Meeks pouted,
“Charlie! That’s not what you told me!”
“What about Meeklie?”

“Meeklie?! Hell, no, I’m not about to have the word ‘meek’ in my ship name!”

“ Our ship name and that’s my name!”

“I know, honey, and you know I don’t blame you for that.”

Todd burst out laughing, holding onto his stomach, and Neil quickly joined in, already
forgetting about his earlier anxieties.

“Hmm, Daltoneeks? Cheven? Charven? I hate to agree with Charlie, but Cheeks definitely
sounds the best.”

“Ha! Anyway, Todd, why don’t you pick what we do next?”

“You all might not want to do this and that’s totally fine, but I kinda want to go bowling.”

“You heard the man, let’s go get our bowl on!”

***

Charlie, being Charlie, declared that to make things more interesting, they should only bowl
with their non-dominant hand. Everyone had readily agreed and so once their bowling shoes
were on, and they had each picked out a bowling ball that worked for them, they did just that.
Neil honestly couldn’t remember ever being happier. He took a look at Meeks and Charlie
and was once again filled with relief that they had worked through their shit and gotten
together. And then he turned and looked at Todd, who was currently bowling, and he was
filled with overwhelming joy. He didn’t know why this magnificent boy had chosen him, but
one thing was for sure: he would do whatever it took to protect him, care for him, and love
him.
On the way home, Todd fell asleep, head on his shoulder, and Meeks, also asleep, had his
head leaning against the passenger seat window. Neil found it funny how similar he and
Charlie were and how Todd and Meeks were kind of their foils and therefore kind of similar
in their own right.

It was quiet before Charlie asked in a low volume, “You okay, Perry? Something seemed
wrong earlier.”

“It’s nothing really.”

“I doubt that. What’s going on?”

“I just want Ginny to like me, but it doesn’t seem like she does which I understand, of course,
but it just sucks.”

“You’ve gotta give her time, Neil. The last time she saw Todd was probably when he was in
the hospital from his injuries. Like yeah time passed in between then and now, but she wasn’t
there for it. Of course she’s wary of Todd’s new boyfriend. The last one she knew was a
shithead. When Grant hurt you that night, I about lost my shit. But then I saw Todd and how
freaked out he was and I took care of him instead. I didn’t even know him, but I had a good
feeling about him. Grant is still going to pay for what he did to both of you, and then maybe
we can all heal and grow.”

“Wow, Charlie, that was very insightful. I’m impressed.”

“Breathe a word of this to anyone, Perry, and you’ll regret it.”

“Well, now that I know about your ticklish chin, I’ll have a counterattack.”

“Goddamn it, I was hoping everyone would have forgotten about that.”
“Not a chance.”

“I really love you, man. I’m so glad you and Todd found each other. I don’t know two people
more perfect for each other than you two.”

“Thank you, Charlie. That means a lot.”

Charlie pulled up to the school and parked. Each of them picked up their respective sleeping
boyfriends and carried them back to their room. What a great night it had been.
 The God of Love, If Such A Thing There Be, May Learn to Love
From Me
Chapter Summary

Neil and Todd's first date

Chapter Notes

Thank you so much to my friend Han for their help with this story!!! One of the songs
used in this chapter was their recommendation and it fits so well! Also, if you haven't
already, please check out their story on here called "My Funny Valentine"!!!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Neil’s POV*

Once again, he was in history class, and once again he was questioning just what he had done
to get himself paired up with Grant. However, as he had told Todd, he did have a strategy to
get through this and he hoped to enact it today.

Neil approached Grant and sat down next to him —as their teacher had given them more
class time to work on the project. Grant didn’t even look up and Neil turned on a recording
device and just started talking about the project.

Grant looked annoyed and said, “Perry, I thought we agreed that you’d be doing the project.”

“No. You said that, but I did not agree to it. So we’re going to use this class period as a
brainstorming session since we didn’t do that last time and I’m going to record it for future
reference.”

Grant’s eyes widened. “I didn’t agree to having our conversation recorded.”

“What’s the matter?” Neil asked with faux sincerity. “What could you possibly say about the
Industrial Revolution that you wouldn’t want to be recorded?”

Grant’s eyes narrowed. “I see what you’re doing, Perry.”

“And what, pray tell, am I doing?”

“You’re going to trick me into saying something stupid on here and then you’ll play it for
Todd and make me look bad in front of him.”

That wasn’t the plan at all, but the insinuation that Todd still cared about Grant even remotely
made Neil want to laugh in his face.

“You seem to have that handled all by yourself, you don’t need my help for it.”

“You think you’re so cute and charming, don’t you?”

“Yeah, and you know what? Todd does too.”

“He’ll get sick of you and then he’ll run off to some other school. Trust me, I know.”

“Hmm, see that’s where you’re wrong. I actually care about him and what’s best for him, and
I don’t...beat the shit out of him, but thanks for your unsolicited ‘advice’. If a time ever
comes that Todd doesn’t want me anymore, I know that he’d feel comfortable telling me that
and I’d wish him the best. Something I know you don’t know anything about.”

Just then, the teacher came by. “You two seem to be discussing your topic very intently, I’m
excited to see your project! Keep up the good work!”
Once she was out of earshot, Grant growled at him. “I will get him back. He was mine first
and no one gets what’s mine.”

Neil took a deep breath, trying to stamp down his anger. He had promised Todd no more
violence, but he wanted to deck Grant right in the face.

“Let’s get something very clear: Todd couldn’t give less of a damn about you if he tried. And
as long as I’m with him, I will do everything in my power to see to it that you don’t touch
him ever again. So, do the project or don’t, I don’t care, but if you go anywhere near my
boyfriend or hurt him again, I will make you regret it. And yes, that’s on the record.”

He picked up the recorder as if to emphasize his point, and then started gathering his things
even though class wasn’t over yet. He went up to the teacher and said, “I was wondering if I
could get a jump start on research for the project and go to the library for the rest of class?”

Their teacher seemed elated that someone was so passionate and immediately agreed.
Without a second glance, Neil left the room.

***

Thankfully, Grant had decided to take the hint and not interact with him anymore and the
history presentation went off without a hitch. Now that that was over, the two of them could
go back to hating each other from afar. Neil was even more on edge after their last
interaction, however, and he was worried about what Grant would do next.

The one thing keeping him calm was thinking about his and Todd’s first date. He hadn’t
exactly planned for it to fall right around Valentine’s Day, but that’s just how the timing
worked out and sure, it may be kind of cheesy, but he figured the two of them having a date
on Valentine’s Day could be the first act towards reclaiming the holiday for the gays.

He wasn’t planning anything fancy because he knew Todd probably wouldn’t enjoy a
spectacle being made of the day, but he was excited. He knew, ultimately, it didn’t really
matter what the two of them got up to as long as they spent the day together.

The morning of Valentine’s Day, the two of them had a rude awakening in the form of
someone singing “Unchained Melody” loudly. Even more surprising was the fact that it was a
woman. Neil and Todd together walked to the door to find out what was going on.

Neil opened the door and caught the tail end of the woman’s performance. He still didn’t
really know what was going on, but seeing as how the woman was standing across the
hallway in front of Meeks and Charlie’s door, this had Charlie written all over it.

The woman finished singing to a bright red Meeks and Charlie thanked her, placing a twenty
dollar bill in her hand.

“Thank you, Gloria. You were outstanding!”

She walked away smiling and Neil caught the mischievous twinkle in Charlie’s eye.

“What on earth was that?”

“Oh, Gloria works for a singing telegram place. I ordered one for Steven for Valentine’s Day.
Wasn’t it great?”

“That seems like a terrible experience—someone singing at you and you just have to stand
there? No thanks,” said Todd as he shuddered.

“Yours from Neil is on the way!” Charlie replied.

Neil scoffed and Todd replied, “Bite me, Charles.”

“I don’t think Neil or Steven would appreciate that, but thank you ever so much for the offer.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, gentlemen, I have to go get my boyfriend his real gift before I am
forced to sleep on the floor.”

“That wasn’t actually your real gift to me?” Meeks asked, looking equal parts shocked and
delighted.

“No, of course not, baby! Gloria is my parents’ neighbor’s niece and they were practically
begging people to book a gig from her, and I thought it’d be fun to troll you. She’s a very
sweet girl, she just can’t sing all that well, unfortunately.”

Neil just shook his head at them and closed the door behind him and Todd.

“Do you want to try to go back to sleep for a little bit?”

“Nah, I’m up for the day now, I think.”

“You know I would never do something like that for you, right?”

“I know. And I greatly appreciate that,” Todd said as he planted a kiss on Neil’s lips.

“Oooh, well, happy Valentine’s Day to me,” Neil said, pulling away.

“Do you want to keep making dumb comments or do you want to kiss me? You can’t do both
at the same time, you know.”

Neil just beamed at him before the two of them resumed kissing.

Neil pulled away again which caused Todd to whine and Neil to chuckle.
“I know you’re sad we’re not kissing some more, and trust me, I am too, but I figured we
should get a move on if we want to follow through with the plans for the day.”

“Plans? What are we doing?”

“It’s a surprise, but one I think you’ll really like.”

“Okay. What should I wear?”

“Whatever you want. You’ll probably want a jacket, but other than that, wear whatever you
feel comfortable in.”

Todd and Neil both got changed and left the room holding hands. They headed towards
Charlie’s car—as Neil didn’t have one—and Neil held the passenger door open for Todd
while he climbed in.

They didn’t go far before Neil was pulling into the parking lot for a nearby park. He grabbed
a basket from the trunk then hurried over to once again get the door for Todd.

Basket in one hand, Todd’s hand in the other, the two of them headed over to the gazebo that
sits in the middle of the park. There they saw Pitts, who was sprinkling rose petals on the
blanket that was lying on the floor of the gazebo.

Pitts hit play on the radio, and “All Our Own” by Radio Company started to play and then
said, “Pretend you never saw me. I got a late start this morning, but I’ll get out of your hair
now.”

“Thanks so much for your help, Pitts. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course. Have a good day, you two.”

Neil set the basket on the ground and then said, “I hope you’re okay with having a picnic. We
can always go back to campus if you don’t want to, or if it’s too cold or something. We
lucked out, it’s such a nice day for February.”

“Neil, I love it. It was so sweet of Pitts to help you too.”

“Yeah, it was. So whaddya say we get this started?”

As he asked that, Todd’s stomach rumbled, causing them both to laugh and Todd to say, “I
think my stomach has spoken for me.”

Neil reached into the basket and pulled out sandwiches and chips and chocolate-covered
strawberries. He also retrieved two plastic cups and a bottle of champagne.

Todd just gaped at it and asked, “How on earth did you get that?”

“Pitts apparently knows a guy. Is this okay? We don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”

“It’s fine. Great, actually. Neil, you went to so much effort.”

“I just wanted our first real date to be special.”

The two of them sat down and dug in. Neil poured them both a generous cup of champagne
and Todd giggled as the bubbles tickled his lip. Todd leaned in closer to Neil and Neil asked
concernedly, “Are you cold?”

“No, I just wanted to be closer to you.”

Neil started tearing up upon hearing that and Todd said, “Neil? Are you alright? Did I do
something?”

“It’s nothing bad, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. I’m just so happy that you’re here
with me. I mean, you could have anyone, be with anyone, and you chose me.”

“I don’t want anyone but you, Neil. You’re so sweet and kind and good. So good. And you
care. About your friends. About me. That doesn’t happen a lot.”

“The people who haven’t cared about you, who don’t even bother to try, are really missing
out. Because now that I have Todd Anderson in my life, I couldn’t imagine a life without
him.”

Todd looked away, blushing furiously, and instead of replying, just shoved a chocolate-
covered strawberry into Neil’s mouth. Neil chewed on it and smiled and Todd giggled.
“You’ve got some chocolate on your mouth.”

“Oh no,” said Neil as he licked his lips. “Did I get it?”

“Allow me,” said Todd as he leaned in and wiped away the chocolate from Neil’s mouth.

While he was leaning in close, he lingered, still looking at Neil’s mouth, and Neil closed the
tiny gap between them and kissed him.

“You did that on purpose,” said Neil.

“Prove it,” Todd said with a smirk.

Just then “Dance with Me” by Beabadoobee came on and Neil leapt up. “Ooh, I love this
song! Care to dance with me?”
 Todd looked around nervously as if trying to see how many people were around.

“Sure,” Todd said, accepting Neil’s hand and using it to help himself stand.

Todd threw his arms around Neil’s neck and Neil placed one arm on his back and the other on
his waist.

“Are you having a good time?” Neil murmured.

“The best.”

The two of them swayed and danced with each other for the next few songs until Todd
yawned.

“Come on, let’s get packed up. I think we both could use a nap.”

“Sounds good to me, as long as I can be the little spoon.”

“Whatever you want, honey,” Neil replied and the two got into the car and headed back to
school.

Chapter End Notes

Songs referenced in this chapter: "Unchained Melody" https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=ZObKn2E9rMw (this is the Queen version, but there are many versions out there to
enjoy)

"All Our Own" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnEfwirrQA

"Dance with Me" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk0AR1EkkcU

Please leave a comment telling me how you felt about this chapter if you want. Or hit
me up on twitter @whaddyameanno or tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 To Strive, To Seek, To Find, And Not To Yield
Chapter Summary

They finally hold the meeting to discuss all the proof they have against Grant.

Chapter Notes

I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks as always to my friend Han for their help! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Knox’s POV*

Knox had no idea what had set Grant off, but he had been furious the past couple of weeks.
He often slammed the door behind him upon entering and exiting and he was extremely
huffy. It was making Knox very nervous and so he tried to be out of the room as much as
possible.

Today was Valentine’s Day and Grant seemed even more mad than he had been.

Knox was about to make an excuse to leave the room as usual when Grant held up a bottle of
vodka and some red solo cups and asked, “You’re alone on Valentine’s Day too, huh? Wanna
share a drink?”

Knox absolutely did not, but he didn’t want to set him off so he quickly nodded and sat back
down on his bed.

“Are you alright, man? You seem off.” He didn’t really care, but maybe if he got Grant
talking, he’d reveal important information. Or maybe it would just keep him busy so he’d
stop slamming doors.
“No, not really,” said Grant, downing his first drink. Knox decided it would be best to just sip
at his drink slowly so he wouldn’t get drunk around Grant.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Yeah, man. Thanks. That’d be great. It’s just, ugh. I hate that Neil Perry.”

“Did something happen?” The fuck? If something happened, why did Neil not tell him about
it?

“He just loves to taunt me about how happy he and Todd are together,” Grant said, spitting
out the words.

Knox knew that now that Neil and Todd were officially together, this would only increase,
but of course, Grant had thought they were officially together all along so he probably
wouldn’t notice a difference.

“He’s just so arrogant, what does Todd even see in him?”

Neil, arrogant? Way to self-project Grant. And as for what Todd sees in him, hmm, let’s see,
how much time do you have? Knox thought to himself and had to stop himself from snorting.

Knox just shrugged. It didn’t seem like Grant needed an answer since he just continued
ranting about how much he hated Neil and how he wanted Todd back and he’d do anything to
get him back, blah blah blah.

After an hour of Grant just getting increasingly more worked up and downing drinks, he
passed out, and Knox heaved a huge sigh of relief. He whipped out his phone and texted
Neil.
<To Neil> 11:37pm

Sorry if I’m interrupting your V-day plans, but I need to talk to you.

<From Neil> 11:39pm

You’re not interrupting. Todd’s asleep. What’s up? Are you okay?

<To Neil> 11:42pm

Grant just spent an hour drunkenly ranting about how much he hates you? Did
something happen you didn’t tell me about?

<From Neil> 11:46pm

He and I were assigned as partners for the history presentation. He was being gross and
insulting Todd. I got mad, told him off. Got some of it on tape. Will share it soon.

<To Neil> 11:48pm

I’m worried he’s going to try something. He’s been stewing the past couple of weeks. Be
careful. Also, I’m gonna message everyone to try to set up that meeting with Ginny and
all them soon.

<From Neil> 11:49pm

I will be careful. Promise. Sounds good. Just keep me posted.

<To Neil> 11:51pm

Will do.

***

Knox had contacted Ginny, Chet, and Chris, but also Charlie, Meeks, Pitts, Neil, and Todd.
Deciding it would be easier to coordinate, he added everyone to a group chat. “Operation
Takedown” was what he named it, but of course the minute Charlie entered it, it was
immediately changed to “Grant sucks”.

Others tried to change the name, but Knox knew Charlie well enough to know he would not
give up until everyone else gave in and allowed him to name the group chat whatever
ridiculous thing popped into his brain this time.

It took a while to get everyone to focus, seeing as how several of them still didn’t have each
other’s numbers and were trying to get that figured out.

Finally, Knox was able to ask everyone for their availability to get together. They settled on
getting together on the upcoming Saturday and whoever had any evidence against Grant was
informed to bring it.

Having that figured out, Knox heaved a giant sigh of relief. That paired with the fact that
Grant had been summoned home for something meant that Knox felt lighter than he had in a
while. Maybe he would actually get some decent sleep for once.

He finished up his homework, relishing in the peace and quiet that was now an unfortunate
rarity in his life. He hoped they would be able to do something to get rid of Grant soon. He
didn’t know how much longer he could take this. He missed his friends and just being able to
goof off with them. Sure, he snuck off every once in a while to see them, but it wasn’t the
same.
***

The time without Grant had been magnificent, but unfortunately was coming to an end. Grant
would be returning back to school on Sunday which gave Knox one last day of contentment.
Coincidentally, this was also to be the day of the big meeting and him getting to see all of his
friends in one place.

They had agreed to meet at the cave around 2:00pm so Knox headed there. He was
simultaneously anxious and excited about it, so he went a little early. When he got there,
however, it seemed like he wasn’t the only one who had had that idea. Looking around, he
was practically the last one to arrive. They were just waiting on Pitts, who Todd informed
them, was finishing up some research for a homework assignment.

“ Knoxious! ” Charlie screamed, running into Knox’s arms and giving him a big hug. “Nice
of you to join us.”

“I didn’t realize 2:00 was a suggested time and not, you know, our agreed-upon meeting
time.”

“There he is! I’ve missed you, pal!”

Knox chuckled and took a seat next to Chet who extended his hand. Knox shook it and said,
“Chet, good to see you again!”

“Likewise. How’s Hellton treating you?”

“Oh, you know, just like how you’d expect from hell-on-earth.”

The two of them chuckled and then Pitts arrived.

As soon as Pitts sat down, Charlie jumped up and said, “Whaddya say we start this meeting?”
Meeks passed around the printouts he had made of Brandon’s texts to him. He filled Ginny,
Chet, and Chris in on that little piece of history as quickly as he could and Knox noticed
Charlie looked tense. Brandon was likely a touchy subject for him.

“I was hoping you could keep a copy of these with you all at Balincrest. I have a copy, of
course, and I have them backed up, but one can never be too careful,” Meeks said.

“Yeah, I’d be happy to add these to my Grant Booth folder,” said Ginny.

“You have a Grant Booth folder?” Neil asked.

“There’s not much in it, unfortunately. The fucker’s a slippery one, but I was able to sneak in
and get my hands on his permanent file. There’s not a whole lot of disciplinary action for him
—who’s surprised—but there is, however, a couple of settlements referenced. One, of course,
is Todds’ parents,” she said, shooting Todd a sympathetic look, “but this other one here is
super vague so I don’t know what it’s about. I’m gonna do some research. Anyway, all this to
say, he certainly has a history of having his parents pay his way out of consequences.
Asshole.”

“This is great, Ginny,” Charlie said, looking over her file.

“Yeah, well, I really, really hate Grant Booth.”

“Here, here!” said Meeks, raising his hand as if there were a glass in it. The rest of them
followed suit and then burst into laughter.

“Neil mentioned he had a recording…?” Knox said, looking to Neil who was staring daggers
at him and shaking his head.

Ginny frowned at him and crossed her arms. “So what’s the truth? Do you or don’t you?”
“I do, but, uh, I don’t think I should play it in front of everyone,” Neil said, as his eyes darted
over to Todd.

Ginny looked like she was going to say something, but Todd beat her to it.

“You never told me about this. Was this that strategy to make Grant behave?”

Charlie snickered, but it was wiped off his face when Todd looked over at him.

Todd continued, “Neil, what did you do? You promised me—,”

“And I never broke my promise, Todd, sweetheart, I swear. I just don’t want you to hear what
he said about you.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake, Neil! Play the damn tape! I daresay I heard worse when we were
actually dating.”

Ginny shot Neil a smug look and Neil nodded. Man, she really was not a fan of Neil, Knox
thought.

He played the tape for them all. To Knox, it sounded like typical Grant to him, but he could
tell it really upset everyone else especially when he said “I will get him back. He was mine
first and no one gets what’s mine.” Even Todd looked a little pale at that.

When it was over, Neil handed the tape to Ginny and she took it, saying, “You did good,
Perry. This is all a good start, but it’s not enough to get him. We’ve all got to band together to
gather anything that could potentially be used in a case against him.”

“I don’t have any copies, I’m sorry,” said Neil.

“Ah, don’t worry about it. I can make some,” Ginny responded.

After that, the “meeting” turned more into goofing off, seeing as how they didn’t really have
any more evidence to discuss.

Knox wasn’t surprised at all to see that Charlie had taken a shine to Ginny. The two of them
were really very similar in snark and humor.

Neil and Todd appeared to be heatedly whisper-fighting with each other and Knox had a
feeling they’d be back to their usual lovey-dovey selves soon enough.

Pitts, Meeks, and Chet were all in a discussion about robotics which they all seemed super
into, but Knox was having a hard time following.

This just left Chris and himself not involved in a conversation. Chris turned to him and said,
“This is a nice little group you have here.”

“Thank you. We’re a pretty loving, accepting group so it’s nice to have you all here.”

There was silence until Knox found himself voicing an earlier thought.

“Ginny really does not seem fond of Neil, huh?”

“It’s not personal. Todd is her best friend and she’s very protective of him. I think part of her
blames herself for not spotting Grant for who he was right away.”

“That’s not her fault! Grant can be charismatic.”

 “Yes, true, but that’s not how Ginny sees it. She’s just being extra cautious around Neil.”

“I’ve known Neil for years now and I can vouch for him. He’s a great guy. I know my word
may mean nothing to you, seeing as how you haven’t known me that long, but I just wanted
you to know.”

Chris smiled. “Oh yes, I can see how much happier Todd has been with Neil, present fights
aside.”

“You noticed that too, huh?”

“It’s refreshing to see Todd stand up for himself like that. And for Neil to be so accepting of
it. It’s a human thing to be in the wrong sometimes, but it’s how you handle being called on
it, you know?”

Knox looked over to see Neil and Todd hugging and then Todd pulling Neil into a kiss.

He smiled and Chris, noticing, looked to where he was looking, and then she smiled too.

“I think they’ll be just fine,” she said and Knox agreed.

Eventually, everyone started heading out and after saying goodbye to all his friends, Knox
headed back to his room to get one more good nights’ sleep before Grant returned.

Chapter End Notes

Please, if you're so inclined, leave a comment telling me how you felt about this chapter!
<3 You can also find me on twitter @whaddyameanno or on tumblr
@makeyourlivesextraordinary.
 You Must Strive To Find Your Own Voice
Chapter Summary

Charlie, Neil, and Todd hang out and get high together and then Todd and Ginny hang
out.

Chapter Notes

As we get closer and closer to the end, I find myself getting more and more nervous. I
have been with this story for 3 years and planned it out and lived in it and soon that will
all come to an end. And while I'm excited about all the possibilities out there for what's
next, I'm also gonna be really sad when it's time to say goodbye to this universe.

Anyway, all that being said, I hope you all like this fun and light-hearted chapter!
Thanks ever so much as always to my dear friend Han! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Todd’s POV*

Before they had parted ways at the meeting, Ginny had asked Todd to hang out the following
weekend so they could catch up and Todd had, of course, agreed immediately.

If he was being honest, he was actually kind of relieved Neil and himself had had a bit of a
tiff. He had been getting nervous about what would happen in that situation, but now he
didn’t have to wonder. Their first fight was over and done with and everything was okay
between them again.

Should he be concerned that this was his mindset? Maybe so, but he had a lot of trauma
related to the topic so he figured he was allowed to feel however he feels about it.

Nothing much happened throughout the week, it was mostly filled with homework,
homework, and more homework. It wasn’t any more than usual, but now that he and Neil
were actually together, he found it a bit more difficult to focus on all the homework.

It was currently Friday night and Neil was next to him reading his novel from English class.
Todd himself was finishing up his Chemistry homework. Stoichiometry. An actual
nightmare.

He was focusing so intently on the page in front of him that he startled when there was a
knock on the door.

He set it aside, needing a break anyway and went to answer the door. On the other side of the
door was a pouty Charlie and Todd asked, “What’s going on?”

“Stevie’s off on some field trip out of town this weekend and left me all alone. I’m bored and
lonely and sad. And also a bit horny.”

Todd chuckled, “Well I think Neil and I might be able to help with some of those things, but
you’re on your own for that last one.”

Todd stepped aside to let Charlie in and Neil shut his book and tossed it off to the side.

“Hey, Charlie!”

“Hello. Thank you for letting me crash. I brought something for your troubles.”

Todd had no idea how he managed to not see that Charlie was carrying a tray of something in
his arms, but he definitely saw it now.

“Oooh, brownies?” Todd asked excitedly.

“Not just any brownies, pot brownies!”

“How did you get those?” Neil asked.

“I made them, of course!”

“Surely not here.”

“No, of course not, Neil. What do you think I am, a complete dunce? No, I have a friend who
let me use their kitchen while their parents weren’t home. Don’t worry, I didn’t leave any
evidence behind.”

“Well you know I’m in!” said Neil enthusiastically. “Todd, have you ever been high before?”

“Oh, umm, about that,” said Charlie sheepishly. “You know how Todd told me all about his
past? We were actually high off our asses at the time.”

“Oh? Okay. Why didn’t you just tell me that then?”

“Honestly, I thought you’d be pissed at me for getting him high.”

“Hi, hello, I’m still here in case you two had forgotten,” Todd interjected. “I asked him not to
tell you about it because I was worried you’d judge me. And then so much time passed it
didn’t seem like it was relevant any more.”

“Todd, Charlie and I used to get high together so often. If I judged you for doing it, I’d be a
major hypocrite.”

“So are you both down? If not, it’s cool, we can do something else.”
“I’m in,” said Todd.

“Yeah, me too,” Neil chimed in.

***

Charlie was lying on the ground again, something Todd realized he must do every time he
gets high when all of a sudden he sat up.

“Oh my god, guys, do you know what I want to do?”

“What?” asked Neil.

“Let me go get it! I’ll be right back!” Charlie yelled and ran across the hall to his room.

Neil just shrugged and Todd —who had his head on Neil’s shoulder—moved with the
movement causing him to start laughing hysterically.

Charlie burst into the room again with a bag in hand and after closing the door and locking it
behind him, he retook his seat on the ground.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Make-up,” said Charlie excitedly.

“Make-up?” Neil asked.

“Hey, don’t judge, Perry.”

“Charlie, when have I ever judged you? I was just confused. What are you going to do with
it?”

“Why, wear it, of course! I was hanging out with Ginny the other day and Chris came in and
started doing her make-up and when she noticed me watching her, she offered to put some on
me as well and I took her up on it. It was a life-changing experience! She helped me pick out
some for myself to experiment with and I just wanna play around with it!”

“That’s awesome, Charlie! Can you put some on me?” Neil asked.

“Yeah, I’d like some too, if that’s alright.”

“Hell yeah, let’s do this thing!”

Charlie had a huge eyeshadow palette with lots of bright colors and asked them both to pick
out what colors they wanted. Neil chose orange and yellow because he said he wanted a
sunset look. Todd chose blue and green like the ocean and Charlie chose red and pink for
what he called “getting red”.

Aside from eyeshadow, Charlie had also picked out some fun colors of lipstick. Charlie put
on a purple one on himself. Neil picked a bright red and Todd picked a blue one to match his
eye look.

Once their lipstick was applied, Neil stared at Todd’s lips and then leaned in and kissed him.
He pulled away and pouted, “Well that didn’t work at all!”

“What were you trying to do?” asked Charlie.

“I was trying to see if together Todd and I could make a lipstick that matched yours, but all it
did was just smear it all around.”

“Did you ruin my lipstick, Neil? I worked really hard to apply that perfectly!”

“I didn’t see you complaining when we were kissing!”

“You two are so cute, god. I miss Steven. Also, I want animal crackers.”

Todd snorted, which caused all of them to laugh and laugh until Neil said, “Charlie had the
right idea though. Food sounds good.”

“We can’t just eat more brownies cuz then we’ll just get more high,” said Todd.

“Eh, tomorrow’s Saturday. We don’t have to be anywhere.”

“I do,” said Todd. “Ginny and I are hanging out.”

“That girl really does not like me,” said Neil. “I’m so glad you’re hanging out with your best
friend, but I’m worried her not liking me will make you realize you don’t want me after all.”

This was the first time Todd was hearing about any of this. He had no idea Neil was feeling
this way. Maybe as with himself last time, the weed was loosening his tongue and he hadn’t
meant to let that slip.

“Neil, that won’t happen.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“I guess you’re going to have to trust me, can you do that?”

“Yes. I trust you. Of course I can.”

Charlie and Neil both ate another brownie, but Todd decided not to, needing to sober up
instead.

Charlie said, “Come here, you two! Let’s do a photoshoot of our make-up looks!”

They took several pictures of various poses. Charlie insisted on taking some couples shots of
just Todd and Neil and then he took several solo ones of which he said he would text the best
ones to Steven.

***

“What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?” asked Charlie, who had resumed lying on the
floor. Neil and Todd were sitting up against Todd’s bed, cuddled together. “Mine involved
this dragon in water and he spoke to me and was like ‘Charlie, you’re not supposed to be
here’ and then I woke up in a cold sweat.”

“Jesus, that’s creepy. Mine was that I was in a play and right before the performance, all my
castmates turned into giant spoons and I still had to go on and I was trying to perform the
show, but everyone was booing me and then I got kicked out of the theatre.”

“That sounds like an anxiety dream, Neil,” Todd said, squeezing Neil’s hand in reassurance.

“Yeah it probably was. Anyway, what about you, Todd? What was your weirdest dream?”
“One time I dreamt that I was forced to marry this giant and I begged and pleaded not to have
to, but, in the end, I wasn’t successful and had to go through with it. I woke up in tears.”

“Our dreams are dark, woah. We got some fucked up heads.”

“If you think about it, they actually make sense,” Todd said.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to explain immediately,” said Neil.

“Let the man speak, Neil. I’m intrigued.”

“Well, Neil, your dream is obviously about how afraid you are of disappointing others or
failing and being ostracized for it. And Charlie, yours is your survivor’s guilt. A dragon in
water symbolizes that your emotions are disturbed which would make sense based on what
you’ve told us about how you reacted to your mother’s death.”

“Holy fuck, I am too high to be psychoanalyzed,” said Charlie. Neil just gaped at Todd and
asked, “How did you know all that?”

“Well, symbolism in dreams is kind of something I like to study. Dreams remind me of

poetry, like they’re like visuals of our subconscious sending us messages. And sure, they
don’t always have to mean something, but if I had to guess, that’s what I think they meant.”

“Then what about yours?” Charlie asked.

Todd looked at the ground, took a deep breath, and said, “Giants symbolize feeling powerless
and the forced marriage kind of speaks for itself, but it’s that I was feeling forced into
something against my will.”

“Oh. Say no more. I get it. I’m sorry I asked you, Todd.”
“It’s okay. I did psychoanalyze you so it’s only fair I share my own.”

It was quiet after that until Todd said, “Well, I’d better get some sleep because I have to get
up to go to brunch with Ginny tomorrow. Feel free to sleep in my bed, Charlie, we usually
sleep in Neil’s.”

He didn’t hear a response and he looked over at Charlie to discover he had fallen asleep on
the hardwood floor.

“How did he fall asleep that fast? Damn!”

“That cannot be comfortable,” said Neil.

“Do you think together we could lift him onto the bed?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Cuz his back will hate him if he sleeps there all night.”

They were able to get him onto the bed with little difficulty and then Neil turned out the
lights.

***

When Todd woke up in the morning, Neil and Charlie were both still asleep. He got out of
bed, trying very hard not to jostle Neil, but evidently he did not succeed when Neil grumbled
and made grabby hands for Todd in his semi-asleep state.
“I’ve got to get going. Ginny is picking me up soon. Go back to sleep,” Todd said before
placing a kiss on Neil’s forehead.

“Where’s my goodbye kiss?” Charlie asked teasingly.

“Oh, don’t worry. I have something for you too,” he said as he flipped Charlie off while
rummaging through his drawers to find an outfit to wear.

“I’m hurt!”

“You’ll get over it,” said Todd as he headed for the door, clothes in hand. He hoped to grab a
quick shower before leaving. He decided to blow a kiss to Charlie before closing the door.

“There, happy now?”

“Oh yes! I’ve never been happier than in this moment.”

Todd just rolled his eyes and headed to the bathroom.

***

Shower done, clothes on, old clothes discarded quickly in his room, Todd was ready for
brunch.

He walked outside just as Ginny was pulling up. She smiled at him and he smiled back,
getting into the car.

“You ready for this?”

“Yes! It’s been too long since we’ve hung out.”

“You’re damn right! And now that I have you back in my life, you’re not getting rid of me
that easily.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

The plan was for them to go to their old brunch spot near Balincrest. Ever since they’d been
planning it, Todd had been dreaming of their waffles.

They arrived at the diner and managed to snag a table even though it was peak brunch hours
on a Saturday. They sat across from each other and Ginny was staring intently at him, it was
starting to make him nervous.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Are you doing okay this morning?”

“Yes, I’m great. Why do you ask?”

“Your eyes are all red and puffy as if you’ve been crying.”

Todd had forgotten just how perceptive Ginny could be, except this time she had things all
wrong. Todd started laughing and Ginny frowned, asking, “What’s so funny?”

“Ginny, I haven’t been crying. Charlie, Neil, and I all got high together last night.”
Ginny stared at him, mouth wide open in shock. When she was finally able to speak she
asked, “Who are you and what have you done with Todd Anderson?”

“I don’t make a habit of it or anything. That was only the second time.”

“Wait, second time? You’d done it before last night? Wow, I have missed a lot in your life.
Also, please don’t think my question was me judging you, I was just surprised.”

“Charlie has been with me both times and we were very safe.”

“Well that’s good. I’m glad to hear that.”

“Also, my eyes could be red because I had to scrub the make-up off them.”

“Make-up?”

“Yeah, Charlie showed us the make-up Chris helped him get and we wanted some too.”

“And by we, you mean—,”

“Neil and I.”

Ginny looked uncomfortable at the mention of Neil and it seemed like she was going to say
something, but Todd interjected before she could. “Ginny, I know you don’t like Neil or trust
him, but you haven’t really given him a chance.” He was tempted to bring up what Neil had
said last night, but he decided against it because it wasn’t his thing to tell, and also he didn’t
want to somehow make Neil look worse in front of Ginny or something. “You’ve just decided
he’s like Grant and already written him off. You are my best friend and I love you, but you
have to accept that I’m with Neil now. He’s not going anywhere, not if I have any say in the
matter. And as you can probably see, I’ve changed a lot. I may not be the same Todd you
know and love, but I like my life and the decisions I’ve made and you have to accept that if
this is going to work.”

Ginny stared at him once more in shock and then burst into tears. Todd worried he was too
harsh and immediately began to comfort her, but she waved him away and wiped her eyes.
Through tears, she said, “You misunderstand, Todd. These are happy tears. I am so, so proud
of you. And yes, maybe I don’t trust Neil right now, but I can see him being in your life is a
positive. I’m sorry for being so judgmental about him and I promise I will do better.”

“Thank you. Now, enough about me. Are there any girls you have your eye on or is it still all
Chris all the time?”

Ginny rolled her eyes and said, “Ugh, what does she see in my brother? He’s so annoying.”

“So I guess that answered that. How are you coping?”

“I’m fine, really. She’s straight and happy with my brother and I’ve just got to try to move
on.”

“Well obviously, I don’t know any girls because Welton is all boys, but I’d be more than
happy to help you set up a dating profile or something if you’d want.”

“Thanks, Todd.”

They spent the rest of brunch with Ginny catching Todd up on all the latest gossip at
Balincrest. Then, next thing he knew, Ginny was dropping him back off at Welton. They
parted ways, already planning their next outing, and Todd smiled, happy to have his best
friend back in his life.
Chapter End Notes

Please leave a comment, if you feel inclined, letting me know what you thought of this
chapter. Or hit me up on twitter @whaddyameanno or tumblr
@makeyourlivesextraordinary.
 Mr. Meeks, Time To Inherit The Earth
Chapter Summary

An ex makes a reappearance, causing a fight.

Chapter Notes

I can't believe there are only 6 chapters left! Holy heck! That's wild! I know it may seem
confusing, but hopefully everything will make sense soon enough!

Thank you to my friend Han for looking over this chapter for me and for just being my
friend! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Meeks’ POV*

He had just gotten back to town from the field trip and was looking forward to a much-
needed shower and then getting some sleep in his own bed. Evidently, the universe had other
plans for him because he hadn’t even started his car to get back to campus before his phone
was ringing. He pulled it out and *Brandon (do not answer)* was flashing onto his screen.

He debated back and forth quickly about whether or not to answer the call causing him to
almost miss it, but he answered it just in time. Clearly, he was really good at listening to his
past self’s advice in the contact...

“Hello?” he asked nervously.

“Steven? Thank you so much for answering. I’m about to get discharged from the hospital
and I’m so sorry to ask this, but could you please give me a ride back to Balincrest?”
Meeks looked up at the sky and mouthed “why me?” and tried to keep himself from sighing
loudly before he said reluctantly, “Sure. I can be there in about 20 minutes.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Mhm,” he replied before hanging up.

It had been about three weeks since Brandon’s “accident” —that they all knew wasn’t an
accident at all. His injuries, according to the doctor he had spoken with, hadn’t been fatal, but
had been serious enough to warrant all sorts of tests and to require Brandon’s extended stay at
the hospital. Because he had been transported there in an ambulance, it made sense that he
didn’t have his car there. What didn’t make sense was why he was calling Meeks to pick him
up. Surely he had friends or other people he was closer to that could’ve done this. Steven
quickly shook that thought away. He was just tired and grumpy from the trip, but he wasn’t
about to be an asshole to his highly injured ex-boyfriend.

He arrived at the hospital right about when he said he would and pulled up to the curb so he
could easily help Brandon into the passenger seat. He went inside and saw Brandon in a
wheelchair being pushed by a nurse. Brandon smiled upon seeing him and Meeks held the
door open while the nurse pushed him through.

Once he was settled in the car, they both thanked the nurse who nodded at them and pushed
the wheelchair back inside.

Meeks started the car and Brandon opened his mouth to speak, but Meeks beat him to it. “Do
you mind if we just don’t talk? I’ve had a very long weekend and I’m exhausted and I just
want to jam out to Hailee Steinfeld and get you back to school.”

Meeks turned up the music, “Your Name Hurts” was playing, and Meeks was nodding his
head to the beat of the music.

Brandon respected his wishes for about five minutes before saying, “Are you mad at me or
something?”
Meeks just started laughing hysterically and he had to pull over so as not to cause a wreck.
“Are you actually being serious right now?”

“Well, yeah, I mean, it seemed like we were kind of on better terms. You agreed to pick me
up, after all.”

“Brandon, I did that because I felt bad you were stuck at the hospital. It doesn’t mean I’m not
still mad at you.”

“Then why pick up at all? Why not just leave me there?”

“Because I’m not that kind of person, Brandon. I’m not Grant.”

“I’m sorry about your little boyfriend, okay?”

“This isn’t just about him! On top of trying to kill Charlie, he tried to kill you, and he landed
Todd in the hospital. I don’t see how you can be so blase about this whole situation.”

“He was my only friend for so long. And now I have no one.”

“Don’t you think it’s better to have no one than to have someone who tried to kill you?”

“You were the only one I could turn to.”

“And that frightens me, Brandon. It really does. I can’t be the only person you have in your
life to turn to. And I don’t understand how you don’t see that I’m allowed to mad at you. I
have every right to be! What did you think? That I was just going to magically look past what
your actions caused?”
“Charlie was barely scratched, I’m the one who actually got hurt because I saved your
precious boyfriend.”

“I appreciate you pushing him aside, I do, but you involved Grant in the first place and I can’t
forget that.”

“So what? This is just it then? After everything we’ve been through?”

“Yeah, I suppose it is.”

Steven was about to start the car again when Brandon put a hand on his. Meeks looked over,
confused to find Brandon’s face right in his. He didn’t have time to react before Brandon was
kissing him. When Steven got his wits about him, he pushed him off.

“Brandon, what the fuck?”

“I just don’t know what to do, I hate you and I love you and it’s frustrating—,”

“You don’t love me. You love the idea of me. We aren’t good for each other, Brandon. I love
Charlie. Now I’m going to drop you off at Balincrest and you’re going to lose my number.
Find some new friends, work on yourself. You’ll find someone who can love you the way
you’re meant to be loved.”

Brandon stared out the window for the rest of the ride. It wasn’t the blissful silence Steven
had wanted, but rather a tense, awkward one.

As soon as they arrived at Balincrest, Brandon said, “Here is good. I can walk.”

“You’re still injured, let me take you to the door at least.”

“Nah, I’m good,” he said, opening the door.

“Fine, be a stubborn asshole then!” Meeks shouted at him as he slammed the door shut.

In the car on the way home, his phone went off, signaling a Facetime request from most
likely Charlie. Once again, he pulled over and accepted the call.

“Hey, baby.”

“Don’t ‘hey, baby’ me! You said you’d be home hours ago and you haven’t been answering
my texts. Are you okay?”

“I’m on my way there now, can I please explain when I get there?”

“Of course. I love you. Stay safe.”

“I love you too. See you soon.”

***

As soon as he walked into their shared dorm, Charlie was hugging him tightly.

“I missed you so much! Are you okay? Where were you?”

Meeks was dreading saying where he had been, knowing Charlie would not be pleased, but
he knew he had to be honest because if he wasn’t, things would be even worse when Charlie
inevitably found out where he had actually been.
“I was picking up Brandon from the hospital and driving him back to school.”

The enthusiasm Charlie had carried upon seeing Meeks home and safe was immediately gone
and replaced with disdain.

“You what?”

“He needed a ride and didn’t have one, Charlie.”

“So he went to you?”

“Well, he doesn’t have anyone else.”

“That’s not on you to fix. And that’s not your problem.”

“I know that, Charlie. And I told him as much. I told him to lose my number after this.”
Meeks sighed, not looking forward to seeing Charlie’s reaction to the rest of what happened.

“What? What’s that look for? What are you not telling me?”

“I’m getting to it, Jesus! Full disclosure, he kissed me. I pushed him off.”

“He did what? I know he’s injured, but I’ll march up to Balincrest and kick his ass!”

“You will do no such thing, Charlie. If you recall, you did the same thing once.”
“I was drunk and I tried to fix things for you two immediately after I did it.”

“So drunkenness just excuses everything bad you’ve ever done now?”

“No, of course not! Stevie, I’ve been sober for months now. You know that I’m trying. I don’t
understand how this became about me. I’m allowed to be upset that your ex kissed you.”

“It just seems awfully hypocritical. And I’ve told you to STOP CALLING ME THAT!”

Charlie was crying, tears streaming down his face. “Okay, I’m sorry. But you’ve never yelled
at me like this before and I don’t like it so I’m leaving this room. I’ll come back when you’ve
calmed down.”

Charlie left and Meeks immediately felt bad. He shouldn’t have picked a fight with Charlie.
He was just tired and drained emotionally and he took it out on him. But he knew Charlie
needed his space and so he figured he would speak to him in the morning, apologize for
getting mad and screaming at him.”

There was a knock at the door and Meeks rushed to it. “Charlie?! Is that you, honey?”

“No, it’s Todd. May I come in?”

“Yeah, come on in.”

Todd came in and closed the door behind him. “What was that all about?”

“I was such a jerk,” Meeks said, crying.

Meeks explained what had happened and then Todd gave him a hug.
“It sounds like you were pretty overwhelmed. He will understand as long as you tell him how
sorry you are and how you’ll try not to yell again. In the meantime, I think if you took a hot
shower it would help, and then you should really get some sleep. Then in the morning, you’ll
hopefully feel better and ready to talk to him.”

“You’re right, Todd. Thank you. I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t. I just wanted to come to check in on you.”

“Thanks, I don’t deserve it.”

“Meeks, don’t say that. You guys just had a rough fight, but you love each other and you’ll
get through it. It’ll all be okay. I just know it.”

“Thanks.”

Steven did as Todd instructed, but unfortunately, sleep evaded him. He was too busy
worrying about where Charlie was and if he was okay. He eventually drifted off, but didn’t
really remember doing so since the next thing he knew, he was being woken up by the door
opening.

He sat up and there was Charlie, looking as if he hadn’t really slept either.

“Can I come in?”

“Yes, baby, of course.”

Charlie stepped into the room and closed the door, but didn’t move any further into the room.
He stood with arms crossed and eyes locked onto the floor.
“Charlie, will you look at me?”

“I don’t believe I want to.”

“Charlie, I’m so sorry. I should never have raised my voice at you. You did have a right to
feel upset and I completely invalidated that and then made it out like all of this was your fault
which it wasn’t at all. I’m so proud of you for staying sober when I can’t imagine how hard
that is.”

“I forgive you, but if you ever, and I mean, ever yell at me again this will be over so fast. I
love you, Steven, but not enough to have to endure that shit.”

“I understand. I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.”

Meeks extended his arms and Charlie walked into them, allowing Meeks to wrap them
around him in a hug.

“I’m so tired,” Charlie murmured into his shoulder.

“Me too. But we have to get ready for class. Come on, I’ll buy you one of those fancy coffees
you like.”

“With whipped cream?”

“Are you sure that won’t just make you more tired?”

Charlie shot him a look and Meeks gave in, “Fine, fine, but if you crash, it’s not my fault.”
 “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Chapter End Notes

If you have any predictions for how things will go, I'm curious to hear them! You can
find me on twitter @whaddyameanno or tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 You Hurt Him!
Chapter Summary

Knox attends a party with Ginny, Chet, and Chris, hangs out with Charlie and Todd, and
then...well, you'll see.

Chapter Notes

Hi, please don't k word me for the following chapter. Everything will turn out okay in
the end, I promise.

Thanks to my friend Han for being so supportive and an awesome friend! <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Knox’s POV*

In between the piles and piles of homework being assigned, Knox found himself hanging out
with Chet, Chris, and Ginny more and more often. That group coming into his life felt like a
breath of fresh air after having only Grant as his company for most of this school year.

He missed his other friends as well and hoped beyond hope that one day very very soon
they’d all be able to hang out together, but for now, the fact that he had some friendly contact
in his life was his saving grace.

In his little time of knowing them, he’d come to really enjoy hanging out with the three of
them. Once he felt comfortable around them, he even joined in on Ginny’s teasing remarks to
Chris and Chet whenever the two of them got a little too passionate around each other.

Hanging around Ginny also made him a bit sad though because he was reminded of Charlie.
The two of them were very similar and he really missed him and all his other friends. That’s
not to say that he was trying to replace them with these new friends, no, not at all, or that he
preferred one group to the other. He loved all his friends and wanted more than anything for
them all to become friends to have one massive friend group.

One night, he had been hanging with Chet, Chris, and Ginny when Ginny told them all about
a party for Balincrest students. Knox started to tune out when Ginny punched him in the
shoulder. “Hey, I’m talking to you. If you want to come to this party, I can pretend you’re my
boyfriend to get you in.”

“But Ginny, doesn’t everyone know you’re a lesbian?” asked Chris.

“Some students, maybe, but they usually put freshers by the door. They’ll never be the wiser,
what do you say, Overstreet?”

“Sure, I’m in if you are.”

“Alright, let’s do this thing!”

They all four headed to the party and, just as Ginny suspected, they had no trouble getting in.
Chris saw someone she knew across the room and Chet went with her, the two of them
practically joined at the hips. That left Ginny and Knox standing by themselves.

“Want a drink?” Knox asked.

“Sure, thanks, Knox.”

Knox went to get the two of them drinks when he saw a beautiful girl near the refreshment
table. She smiled at him from across the room and he smiled back. Forgetting what he was
doing, he went up to her and she asked, “What’s your name, handsome?”

“Knox Overstreet.”
“I don’t recall seeing you around, Knox Overstreet. I feel like I’d remember a face like
yours.”

“Oh, umm, I’m not actually a student here. I’m here with my—,”

“Friends,” Ginny chimed in, sneaking up on him. He almost jumped. She really came out of
nowhere. “He’s here with his friends. One of which is me, hello, Nessa.”

The girl smiled even wider upon seeing Ginny. She pulled her into a hug. “Ginny! Hey! It’s
so good to see you here!”

Knox now felt like a third wheel. He also knew that once she was done talking to the other
girl, Nessa apparently, that he was going to interrogate Ginny so much. It was obvious she
liked Nessa and it kinda seemed like maybe Nessa liked her back. Knox had a new mission:
if those two didn’t realize their feelings for each other, help them realize them!

He zoned out so hard thinking about his plan that he completely missed that Nessa had asked
him something. He only realized she had when Ginny punched him in the arm, hard. Damn
that girl really got him. He should start wearing layers so maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much.

“I’m sorry, what did you say, Nessa?”

“I just asked how long you’ve known Ginny here.”

“We met a couple months ago at a party. We have a mutual enemy.”

Nessa’s eyes lit up upon hearing this and she giggled, eyes drifting back over to look at
Ginny.
“A mutual enemy? That sounds intriguing.”

“I’m surprised Ginny hasn’t told you the story. Ginny, you should get this girl a drink and fill
her in!” He leaned in, dramatically faux-whispering, “She’s such a great storyteller.”

Ginny shot him a look, as if asking him what he’s doing, but Knox just winked and gestured
with his head for her to get Nessa a drink.

“Ginny looks just lovely tonight, doesn’t she?”

“That she does,” Knox replied. “She’s got such beautiful curls.”

“Can I tell you a secret, Knox?”

“Of course.”

“I’m bi and I really, really like Ginny. I can never tell if she would even be interested. We are
some of the only LGBT+ students at this school, but that doesn’t mean automatically that
someone’s interested, you know? You seem to know her pretty well at this point. Can you
maybe talk to her for me? See how she feels?”

Knox smiled, but inside his head, he was just spamming exclamation marks all over the
place. He was going to get these two to discover their mutual feelings tonight! This was
already way easier than he had imagined.

“Of course, Nessa. I’d be happy to do that.”

Knox walked over to Ginny, who seemed to be hesitating over picking out Nessa’s drink.
“You seemed awfully chummy with Nessa over there. What were you two talking about?”

Ooooh, so she was jealous. This’ll be good. She’ll be so excited when she finds out the truth.

“You, actually. She likes you. Like a lot, Ginny.”

Ginny turned to look at him as if checking whether or not he was bullshitting her.
“Actually?”

“Yeah! She asked me to come talk to you for her basically.”

“No, no way. You’re messing with me.”

Knox put his hand on her shoulder and said, firmly, “Ginny, this isn’t something I would lie
about. I’m a romantic at heart. I love love and I want to see my friends happy. Something
tells me the two of you at least giving it a shot would make you happy. Please, go talk to her.
And I was serious before. You should totally tell her the story of how we met. I think she’d
find it humorous, you know, with you almost killing me with a death glare and all.”

“Oh, I did not, you big baby!”

“Go to her,” Knox said with a light push. “It’ll be worth your while, I promise!”

Left alone again, Knox grabbed a drink and went in search of some food. He spotted Chet
and Chris across the room and headed towards them. He made eye contact with Ginny who
smiled at him and shot him a thumbs up. He smiled back and returned the gesture. Tonight
had been a success.

***
March had arrived and with it, the promise of spring break. One would think with the amount
of homework being assigned in the days leading up to it that their teachers had never learned
the meaning of the word.

But no matter, homework was the furthest thing from Knox’s mind these days. Grant had
been awfully quiet and he was either about to strike or give up entirely and Knox didn’t take
him for a quitter.

He was on edge all the time and so when Charlie mentioned that he and Todd were going to
get high together in the cave, Knox practically begged to be let in on it.

***

“Where are your boyfriends this evening?”

“Neil is seeing a play with Ginny and Chris.”

“You didn’t go with him?”

“Nah, my anxiety was really bad and I just wanted a chill night and so that’s why we’re
here.”

“What about Meeks, Charlie? What’s he up to?”

“Being a good student and shit. I keep telling him Saturday nights are for relaxing, but he
won’t hear of it. He already got into MIT, he should chill a bit, but he’s dedicated to his
studies and I respect that.”

“Wow, MIT? I hadn’t heard about that.”

“Yeah cuz you’re living at Casa Buzzkill.”

“He’s been freaking me out lately. I feel like something bad is coming.”

“We’ll all be on the lookout, okay? You don’t have to deal with this alone.”

“Thanks, Charlie. So will you be joining Meeks there?”

“At MIT? Ha! Very funny, Overstreet.”

“No, like will you be in the area?”

“I don’t know. I got into Harvard which is where I’m expected to go, but I kinda want to
blow it off and just not go to college. Just start my life. If he wants me to go with him, I will,
but I don’t want to pressure him.”

“I’m sure he’d want you with him.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. He’s gonna be around all his super smart peers and maybe he
wouldn’t want me around for that.”

“Charlie, he wants you,” said Todd. “Also, you’re plenty smart.”

“But not like Meeks. He’s a genius and he’ll find some other genius and they’ll be great
together and I’ll still just be a laughingstock.”

“Charlie, you’re not a laughingstock. Where is this coming from? Did you speak to your dad
again recently?” asked Knox.
“Yeah, he called earlier. He always finds a way to get under my skin no matter how much I
try not to care what he thinks.”

“Don’t listen to him, Charlie. You are wonderful just the way you are,” said Todd.

“Thanks, Bruno Mars. So anyway, Todd, where are you thinking for college?”

“I don’t know. I got into several places, I just have to make a decision. And well, Neil and I
are trying to coordinate. We’re hoping to get to be roommates again wherever we end up.”

“Aww, you two are adorable,” Knox said.

“Where are you headed, Knox?”

“California. Stanford. So much sun and beaches and most importantly, it’s far away from
here.”

“Not a fan of the east coast, huh?”

“It is entirely too cold.”

“I guess it’d help if you had someone to help warm you up, huh?” said Charlie. “Got your
eye on anybody?”

“Oh goodness, no. I am entirely too busy for that right now. Maybe in college.”

“Oh my god, Knox,” said Charlie. “Did you see that cat video I sent in the group chat?”
“Let me check. Oh shit, it appears I left my phone in my room. Can’t you just show it to
me?”

“Nah, my phone is dead. Todd, what about you?”

“Oh, uh, sure,” Todd said, pulling out his phone. The three of them watched the video and
giggled.

Knox was feeling so relaxed and content with life. He was glad he got to do this.

***

When he got back to his dorm, Grant was nowhere to be found which was a relief because his
phone—which was on the charger—had been blowing up with notifications from the “Grant
sucks” group chat—yes, the name was back to that again.

He picked up his phone and scrolled through the notifications and when Grant came in a little
while later, Knox nodded at him in greeting and he nodded back. He was asleep pretty
quickly after that.

***

Before he knew it, it was the week of spring break. Knox was so excited to maybe get a little
more rest and more importantly, to get the hell away from Grant. He had to admit he was a bit
jealous of the asshole who kept going on and on about how he was leaving early on Friday to
start his 10-day cruise.

When Friday actually arrived and once he had said goodbye to Grant, he texted Todd to let
him know Grant was gone, as was his routine. He started getting packed for his trip home
when the door opened. Assuming it was one of his friends coming to hang since the coast
 was clear, he didn’t turn around right away. He really should have though because then he
may have been able to dodge the blow he was struck with. His last thought before he blacked
out was that Todd was in danger and it was all his fault.

Chapter End Notes

If you'd like to yell at me, I understand. You can do that in the comments or on twitter
@whaddyameanno or tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 Sounds To Me Like You're Daunted
Chapter Summary

*runs away and hides*

Chapter Notes

Hi, everyone. I just want to reiterate that everyone will be a-okay in the end and that
there is a happy ending!

Also, my friend Han pointed out while reading this that there is a line that is rather
ironic given the current state of the world and I want to make it clear that that line was
purely coincidental or maybe subconscious, but this universe is blissfully pandemic-free.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Todd’s POV*

Todd let Neil know what Knox had just texted him about Grant having left and the two of
them were able to breathe a little easier. Todd definitely owed Knox so much for all he had
done for him these last several months.

“Oh, hey, speaking of Knox, he just texted me. He wants to meet at the coffee shop to chat
about the English paper which you probably already did anyway cuz you actually have your
life together.”

“Well, I don’t know about the having my life together part, but, yes, it’s true, I do have that
paper done already.”

“Do you want to come anyway? Maybe give us some of that excellent feedback of yours?”
“Normally I would, but I actually started a book I’d really like to finish so if it’s okay with
you, I think I’ll stay behind and finish it.”

“Alright. Happy reading,” Neil said, leaning in for a goodbye kiss.

“Thank you. Good luck with your paper.”

“Thanks. See you later.”

“Yep. See ya.”

Todd set in for an afternoon of reading and had only read about 10 pages when he heard the
door open. Without looking up, he asked, “Back so soon? Did you forget something?”

“No, I’m exactly where I want to be right now.”

Todd froze. That wasn’t Neil’s voice. That was —

“Gr-Grant?”

“Hello, Todd. Did you miss me?” Grant asked as he locked the door, standing in front of it.
There was nowhere for Todd to escape. It’s like he knew Neil would be away. But how,
unless…?

“What did you do to Knox?!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s got a nasty bump on his head, but he should be alright
or maybe he won’t be, but I don’t really care either way.”
“Wh-what did he ever do to you?!”

“Well, as it turns out, when all this time I thought he was a friend and trying to help me, he
was actually spying on me for you. He left his phone behind and I saw your little ‘Grant
sucks’ group chat. Real mature.”

“Why did you hurt him? I’m the one you want, why hurt anyone else?”

“He crossed me so he had to pay.”

Todd had started to shake, but he couldn’t move so he just sat there frozen on the bed staring
up at Grant in fear.

“I have a proposition for you, Todd. I happen to know Neil’s father. Bit of a hardass if you
ask me, but nice enough fellow. It’d be a real shame if he found out all about what Neil’s
been up to this year.”

“Wh-what are you saying?”

“I’m saying dump the little asshole and come back to me or I tell Mr. Perry all about the party
and the fight and Neil being in the hospital. Come on, it won’t be so bad. You know he’s only
with you because he feels sorry for you. No one could actually ever love you. Except me, of
course. So think about it. You have a week.”

Grant left the room, shutting the door behind him, leaving Todd shaking, staring at the wall.

He couldn’t let Neil get in trouble because of him. The whole thing was his fault anyway.
Neil had stepped in on his behalf. If he hadn’t done that, he probably never would’ve ended
up in the hospital that night. His life would probably be a lot easier and a lot better if Todd
had never entered it. He knew what he had to do. He had to end things with Neil. It was for
his own good.

“Todd? Todd? What’s going on? You’re very pale. And you’re shaking.”

Todd had no idea when Charlie had entered the room, but there he was in front of him. He
tried to speak, tried to get the words out, but just couldn’t get them to form. He felt like he
was going to be sick, but nothing happened so he took that as a bit of a win in this whole
lose-lose situation.

He spaced out again, only to tune back in when he remembered Grant’s words.

“Knox. Check on Knox,” and then he lost consciousness.

***

He awoke to a cold cloth being pressed on his head. For one beautiful moment, he was able
to forget all that had occurred, and he was able to just relish in how nice he felt, but then he
remembered Knox and the nice feeling evaporated, leaving in its wake a thick cloud of
anxiety. He sat up quickly and regretted it immediately, seeing dark spots.

“Woah, woah, Todd. Don’t do that, you’ll pass out again.”

“Knox? Where’s Knox? How is he?”

“Neil called a little bit ago. He took him to the hospital, to get checked out. But let’s talk
about you for a second. What’s going on? What did Grant say to you? Did he hurt you?”

Todd just shook his head rapidly. “No, take me to Knox.”

“You’re not going anywhere until I make sure you’re okay.”

“Charlie, this is serious!”

“And you think your own health and well-being isn’t?”

“Not right now, when it’s my fault Knox is hurt.”

“Funnily enough, I was told that was one of the first things Knox said about you when he
regained consciousness. And I mean that like funny ironic, not funny haha. Nothing about
this situation is funny haha.”

“Don’t you all have to be getting home? It’s spring break.”

“Yeah, no, we’re not leaving you here alone. We all agreed to tell our parents there’s a
massive flu going around and a lot of us caught it. The others said they just didn’t want to
risk giving it to their families.”

“I don’t want you all to miss out on your spring break.”

“And we all don’t want you to end up dead .”

“He, he w-wouldn’t—,”

“Why not? He’s already tried to kill me and Brandon, and he gave Knox a massive clunk on
the head. What exactly is stopping him from killing you, huh? We all want you safe, Todd.”

“But that’s exactly why I can’t let you. You all aren’t safe around me.”
“Let us? Let us?! Todd, we’re staying here whether we have your approval or not. Now, are
you going to tell me what he said to you? Neil’s worried sick.”

Neil. Just hearing his name made Todd feel nauseous. Of course Grant found a way to ruin
the good things Todd had found for himself. He was going to ruin Neil’s life if Todd didn’t
ruin his own by breaking up with Neil and going back to him. He actually was going to be
sick this time.

“Charlie, I—,”

He wasn’t able to warn Charlie in time before he was getting sick. He felt so bad for throwing
up on Charlie that he started crying.

“It’s alright, Todd. It’s alright! Here, let’s get you all cleaned up.”

Charlie helped him get changed into different clothes and once again tried to get him to talk,
but he wasn’t budging. He was not going to put anyone else at risk for him. He was just going
to have to suck it up and deal with it.

He closed his eyes so Charlie would think he fell back asleep. He didn’t stir when Charlie’s
phone rang, wanting to hear Charlie’s side of the conversation.

“Yeah, Neil, he seems to be doing okay. He’s sleeping now. No, he won’t tell me. Yeah, I’ll
keep trying. How’s Knox? Okay, keep me posted. See you soon. Bye.”

Soon enough, Meeks joined Charlie on Todd’s bed.

“He doing okay?”

 “As well as one can be under circumstances that I assume are bad, but don’t know the
specifics of because he won’t tell me.”

“Just give him time, Charlie. He’s probably in shock.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m just so worried about him.”

“He’ll be okay, but for now, let’s just get some rest.”

“I’m not leaving him here, Steven.”

“Fine. You and I will sleep on his bed while he sleeps there.”

“Okay, that works.”

Todd hoped they actually would go to sleep so he could just cry in peace. He tried to stop the
tears from coming, but they just poured down his face.

Chapter End Notes

Feel free to scream at me either in the comments section or over on twitter

@whaddyameanno or tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 Their Eyes Are Full Of Hope Just Like You
Chapter Summary

We check in with Knox in the aftermath of Grant attacking him.

Chapter Notes

I am sorry this chapter is later than I wanted it to be uploaded. My laptop is having

issues so I had to wait until I had an opportunity to use the family computer. My plan is
to release the rest of the story this week, with the last chapter being posted on Sunday
because that is my birthday and I felt like it would be a special day to finish it. I have
loved working on this story so much and it means so much to me that people have read
it and enjoyed it! <3

Thank you so much to the gods of the cave Li and Han, ily two! <3 <3 <3

Also thank you so much to anyone who is reading this.

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

-Emma

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Knox’s POV*

Knox was very disoriented when he was roused from unconsciousness. He was lying on the
floor except he couldn’t exactly remember why. He looked around and spotted two very
concerned Neils hovering over him.

“Woah, Neil, there are two of you,” Knox slurred and then he was vomiting. He just wanted
to shut his eyes again, but as soon as he did that, Neil was shaking him awake again.

Knox whined. “Neil, it’s sleepy time, ‘m not going to class.”

“Knox, I think you have a concussion. I need you to stay awake for me for just a little bit
longer.”

“Nooooo,” Knox whined.

“Do you remember anything from before you passed out?” Knox tried to think, but he was
having the hardest time doing anything, let alone focusing.

“Pitts is on his way. The two of us are gonna get you to the hospital.”

Knox’s head lulled. Everything was blurry and in doubles.

“Do you feel like you’re going to get sick again?”

Knox shook his head, but then winced. “What the hell? That hurt!”

“Knox, it’ll be okay. You’re doing so good. Just a couple more minutes, okay?”

Knox spaced out, floating in a weird headspace somewhere between asleep and awake. The
next thing he knew, he was in an entirely too-bright room with people shining lights in his
eyes.

“No thank you, I’m done with the lights.”

“I’m almost done, Mr. Overstreet. I know it’s bright, I’m sorry.”
“‘S okay.” He looked around and noticed he was attached to an IV. He must’ve been really
out of it when they put that in because he didn’t remember feeling it at all.

He vaguely registered Neil asking the nurse, doctor, whoever, questions and they asked some
in return.

He had lasted long enough, he thought, and try as he might, he couldn’t keep his eyes open
one second longer.

***

The next time he awoke, things were a bit clearer. He now remembered why his head hurt
and that Todd was in danger and that it was all his fault. He felt like he was going to be sick
for an entirely different reason this time.

“Neil?” he asked, panicked.

“Knox? You’re awake! How are you feeling?”

“I don’t care about me right now. I care about Todd, is he okay?”

“Charlie texted me saying he’s pretty shaken up, but he won’t say what Grant did or said to
him. When I get my hands on that asshole…”

“What exactly happened? I remember some parts, but I’m not super clear on others.”

“Well, I received a text from who I now know was Grant from your phone asking to meet up
at the coffee shop. So I went there and didn’t see you. I wasn’t there long before Charlie
called me, frantically saying Todd said you’d been hurt. So I went to your room and you were
on the ground. You seemed dazed and didn’t appear to be taking in your surroundings, it was
scary. Do you remember?”
“Not really. Everything is pretty fuzzy.”

“They said that was a possibility. Grant got you pretty bad. You have a concussion.”

“What did you tell them happened?”

“That you smacked your head on the wall. I don’t know if they believed me, but I think I
looked panicked enough and you were too out of it for them to have time to call me out on
it.”

“Is Pitts here still? I know you said he was gonna help bring me here.”

“Yeah, he just went to grab us some food. He was getting antsy and needed something to do.
We were pretty scared for you, Knox.”

“I’m sorry. I think I’m doing okay now. I’m still pretty tired though.”

“That’d most likely be the meds they have you on. Close your eyes if you need to, it’s okay.”

Knox didn’t need to be told twice, he shut his eyes and then he was asleep again.

***

He awoke to people chattering. He opened his eyes to see that Chet, Chris, and Ginny had
joined Neil and Pitts in his hospital room. There was a big bouquet of gorgeous flowers on
the bedside table. Neil, seemingly noticing he was awake again, rushed over to his side and
said,
“Knox, hi, I’m sorry we were too loud.”

“Nah, ‘s okay. I think I’ve gotten more decent sleep here in this hospital room than I have
most of the rest of this year.”

“You’re staying with Todd and I in our room once you get out of here, we insist. We don’t
want you rooming with Grant anymore.”

“Yeah, he might decide to give me something worse than a concussion next time.”

“We won’t let that happen,” said Neil.

“I just feel so disheartened. All of us have been desperately trying to find something that will
take him down, but so far, we’ve just reached several dead ends. But I’m not giving up!”
Ginny declared.

“Do you need any help?” asked Knox, attempting to get up. Chris just pushed him back down
again, saying, “I don’t think so. You stay put. Your job is to rest now. You did great work,
Agent.”

Knox giggled and then turned to Neil. “Have they said when I get to go back to school?”

“They’re wanting to keep you one more night at least, just for observation. You most likely
won’t have any long-term effects, but they just want to be sure. Luckily, it’s spring break so
you won’t have any more homework assigned this week than you already did, but the doctors
said you’ll need at least another week of recovery after that so we’ll all help you with that.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s spring break. I’m sorry you’re all spending it here with me instead of on
vacation or relaxing.”
“Knox, there’s no place we’d rather be,” said Ginny. “We all care about you and just want
you to be okay.”

“Is Grant still at the school?”

“Charlie said it appeared he had left for break, but he and Meeks aren’t taking any chances
and are staying with Todd in mine and his room.”

“And how is Todd?”

Neil sighed. “Charlie said he’s kind of reverted back to the way he was when we first met
him. He’s very quiet and won’t talk at all. Apparently, he hasn’t left his bed.”

“You should go to him, Neil. Maybe you can get him to talk. He needs you right now.”

“I could take you back to campus, Neil,” Pitts said.

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly leave Knox here.”

“I’ll be okay. I have Chet, Chris, and Ginny here to keep me company.”

“Okay, if you’re sure, I guess I will head there.”

“I am. I promise. I’ll probably end up falling asleep again soon anyway and you should be
with your boyfriend.”

Neil turned to Ginny and said, “Call me if you need anything. I mean it. Anything. And I will
be here as soon as I can be.”
“Come on, Perry. Get out of here. We’ve got it under control.”

Neil nodded and then he and Pitts headed out of the room.

Knox’s head was starting to hurt again, but he really didn’t want to tell anyone because then
they’d give him the pain meds that made him feel groggy and not himself. He now knew
what Neil had dealt with a bit towards the beginning of the year.

“Thank you all for coming to visit me. It was really sweet of you.”

“Well you kinda wormed your way into our little group and we kinda like you now, so, of
course!” said Ginny, teasingly.

“I kinda like you guys as well. So what’s new?”

“Not really anything. I had an idea for my next step to find dirt against Grant, but I don’t
want to get into it unless it actually works. I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”

“Yeah, understandable,” said Knox, gritting his teeth to try to hide the wince he was sure
would cross his face.

Ginny crossed her arms, looking at him. “Are you okay, Overstreet?”

“Fine, fine,” said Knox, attempting to smile, but it probably came out more like a wince.

Ginny just stared him down, obviously not believing him. “I’m calling the nurse.”
“No, no, please don’t! I just want to be awake and alert and talk to you all for a little bit. I
feel like all I’ve done since I’ve gotten here is sleep.”

“Yeah, but your body needs the rest, so you should just let it happen.”

“Ginny, please, just a little while longer.”

“Fine, but the next time I see you trying to hide your pain, I’m calling the nurse and I don’t
want to hear any arguments.”

“Okay. Fair enough. So where’s your girlfriend, Ginny?”

Ginny blushed, but tried to hide it by scoffing. “She’s not my girlfriend. Well, not yet
anyway.”

“Are you going to ask her soon?”

“We’ve only been on one date so far. We haven’t had time for much else what with school
and everything.”

“So? You should ask her to be your girlfriend. I’m sure she’d be delighted. And then I can be
a fifth wheel.”

“Oh, Knox, we’ll find you someone someday.”

“Eh, ‘m not too worried about it at the moment. Bigger fish to fry.”

It was quiet for a moment before Knox said, “Ginny?”

 “Yeah, Knox?”

“I think I’m ready for those pain meds now.”

“I’ll call the nurse.”

Chapter End Notes

If you feel up to it, leave a comment telling me how this made you feel or hit me up on
twitter @whaddyameanno or tumblr @makeyourlivesextraordinary
 Why Doesn't He Let You Do What You Want?
Chapter Notes

This chapter is A LOT, just a heads up. There are so many things that need to unfold and
that everything has been leading up to. So because of that, there will be multiple POVs
in this chapter. I didn’t want to make these multiple tiny little chapters so this is going to
be significantly longer than past chapters. I’m sorry for any inconvenience.

Thanks to my friends Li and Han for all their help and support! <3 ily both!!!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Todd’s POV*

The lights were off and Meeks and Charlie were napping, but Todd was lying wide awake.
He hadn’t slept well at all since he’d found out Knox had gotten hurt and since Grant had
given him an ultimatum.

He heard the door handle jiggle and saw Charlie shoot up quickly.

“Grant Booth, if that’s you, I don’t have a gun, but I have two hands and am filled with a
wrath that the god of wrath, Lyssa, would envy.”

“Charlie, while I appreciate your persistence and determination, it’s just me and I’d very
much like to speak to Todd.”

“Oh, Neil, hello!” said Charlie as he went to the door to let Neil in. “Sorry for locking you
out of your room there, friend, but we’re being extra cautious.”

“I appreciate that, Charlie, thank you. But do you mind if I speak to Todd alone?”
“Of course not. We’ll get out of your hair. But if you need us, just holler. We aren’t far, after
all.”

He and Meeks left the room and Neil locked it behind them. The whole time the two of them
had been talking, Todd had just been lying still in the bed. When Neil turned on the light, he
moved to throw the blanket over his head so he could block out the light. Todd could hear
Neil approaching the bed, but he refused to remove the blanket from over his head. He
couldn’t face him. He knew what he had to do and if he took one look at those beautiful
brown eyes, filled with worry, he wouldn’t be able to go through with it, and he really needed
to. For everyone’s sake.

“Todd? Sweetheart?” said Neil, very close to him. Todd imagined he was probably kneeling
next to the bed.

“Go away, Neil.”

“Todd, please, just talk to me. Tell me what he did to you.”

Todd said nothing. There was nothing he could say. He could feel as Neil attempted to put his
hand on his shoulder and he said, “Don’t. Don’t touch me.”

“Todd, please, honey, whatever it is he did or said to you, I can help. We all can. I’m here for
you.”

“I don’t want you to be,” said Todd thickly.

There was a long silence and then Neil said, “Did I do something wrong? What’s going on?
Todd-,”

“I can’t do this anymore, Neil.”

“Todd, you don’t mean that, please. I thought we were happy.”

“I’m not happy, Neil. Please don’t push this.”

“Okay, I won’t. I’ll just go sleep in Charlie’s room. I’ll be back for my things later.”

The door closed behind him and Todd finally allowed himself to cry. Meeks came in and
locked the door behind him and pulled the cover off his head.

“Todd Anderson, you have some explaining-,” he stopped his sentence when he got a good
look at Todd’s face and instead he just pulled him into a hug. “I don’t understand why you
did that, but I’m here for you.”

“P-pl-please d-d-don’t m-m-make me explain,” Todd choked out through sobs.

“Shhh, you don’t have to say anything. You just sit and cry as long as you need to.”

Todd didn’t know how long he sobbed, but when he stopped, his nose felt so stuffy and his
eyes hurt so badly. He was worn out. Physically, emotionally, mentally, just all over. He
closed his eyes, hoping that when he woke up, maybe this all would’ve been a dream.

***

*Neil’s POV*

Neil pounded on Charlie’s door. It was a good thing he was across the hallway because he
didn’t think he could last much longer without bursting into tears. When Charlie didn’t
immediately answer, he knocked again. “Charlie, please,” he pleaded, his voice breaking on
the last word.
Charlie opened the door with a smile on his face, but it quickly diminished when he saw the
state of Neil. “Neil? What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“I c-can’t stay there. Can I please come in?”

“Yes, of course.”

When he went into the room, Meeks and Charlie were both looking at him in concern.

He looked at Meeks and said, “Can you go check on him, please?”

Meeks nodded and jumped up, heading out the door and across the hallway.

Charlie stared at Neil, who couldn’t move, couldn’t do much of anything.

“Hey, why don’t you come sit down? Tell me what’s going on? Did Grant do something to
him?”

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t say.”

“...okay? Neil-,”

Charlie didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before he dropped to the floor, curling in a
ball, and started to cry.

“Hey, hey, woah, Neil? Neil, oh my god, you’re scaring me.”

Neil barely registered Charlie sitting next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder to soothe
him. It didn’t help much. All he could think about was how Todd couldn’t even look him in
the eye when he ended things between them. He knew he had once said he would be
respectful of Todd’s wishes, and he was trying to be, god he was trying, but he just didn’t
understand. He needed closure, clarity of some kind. Everything had been so good between
them, or so he had thought, and all of a sudden, it was just over?

Neil clung onto Charlie and sobbed into his shirt. Hopefully, he wouldn’t ruin his shirt or
anything, but he wasn’t much worried about that at the moment, truthfully. It felt like Todd
had removed his heart from his chest, thrown it on the ground, stomped on it repeatedly, and
then tried to put it back where it should’ve been as if expecting it would still work the same.

As soon as he had cried all the tears he had within him at that moment, he took a deep breath.
Charlie just rubbed circles on his back while he tried to regain his composure. He appreciated
that Charlie wasn’t rushing him because he knew as soon as he tried to explain what had
happened, that he would likely cry again. At the very least, he knew it would be hard to get
the words out.

He took another deep breath and then said, in a quiet voice, “Todd just broke up with me.”

Charlie huffed out a laugh, which indicated that he clearly thought Neil was trying to make a
joke. “As much as I wish it was a joke, it’s not.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

“My sentiments exactly.”

“He didn’t give you a reason?”

“He just said he wasn’t happy and not to push his decision. I’m trying to respect his wishes.
If space is what he wants, I’ll give it to him. You know I’d do anything to make him happy,
but Charlie, I thought us being together made him happy.”
“...yeah. So did I. So did we all. Something isn’t right, Neil. Something is not adding up here.
This has Grant written all over it.”

“What makes you so sure it’s not just me?”

“Because he’s so into you, Neil! Everyone can see it! Even Ginny is coming around to you.
You both are so good for each other and this isn’t the end! I’ll talk to him.”

“No. Don’t.”

“No, it’ll be good. I’ll talk to him and we’ll figure this out.”

“Charlie, it’s not going to work! He wouldn’t talk to you before, what makes you think he
would now?”

“Fine. I won’t try to talk to him right away. Maybe later in the week when this has had time
to settle. Maybe he’ll realize he’s made a mistake and beg for you back.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

“I never thought I’d see the day someone would steal the sunshine and optimism of Neil
fucking Perry. I have to say, I don’t like it.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m not super into cheerfulness right now. I’ll take your note and keep it
in mind next time the person I love tears my heart into teeny tiny pieces.”

Charlie gasped. “Holy shit. You’ve never admitted it before.”

“That I like him, we’re beyond that, Charlie.”

“No, no, you didn’t say like, you said love!”

“Well it doesn’t exactly matter now, does it?”

“Don’t say that, Neil. This isn’t it for you two. I know it!”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m very tired. May I sleep here?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll go check in with Meeks. You give me a ring if you need anything, okay?”

“Thanks, Charlie.”

“Of course.”

***

*Charlie’s POV*

He walked into the hallway just as Meeks was exiting Neil and Todd’s room.

“Hey, baby, he okay?”

“He didn’t say much, just cried a lot, and now he’s asleep. He asked me not to ask him to
explain.”
“So Grant definitely did something then. I’m 100% sure of it.”

“How’s Neil?”

“He’s asleep now, but he was distraught, Steven. It was terrible to witness.”

Meeks said, “I bet it was. If it wasn’t already clear, I hate Grant Booth with a passion and I
don’t even know exactly what he did this time.”

“Ha. Don’t we all. Do you mind sleeping apart tonight? Someone needs to stay with Todd for
sure, but I don’t feel right leaving Neil alone for too long.”

“I can do that. Good night, honey, I love you.”

“I love you too,” said Charlie, giving Meeks a good night peck, and then the two of them
went into their respective rooms for the night.

***

*Todd’s POV*

He woke up and immediately wished he hadn’t. His face felt puffy and awful and he was sure
he looked as bad as he felt, if not worse. He looked over to see that Meeks was sitting on his
bed, reading a book, since Todd had been sleeping in Neil’s. He figured that if he was being
forced to give up a major part of his happiness that he would be allowed to cling to the few
belongings of Neil’s he still had access to. The sheets still smelled of Neil and it made Todd’s
chest ache, but he also welcomed the pain. He deserved to suffer. That’s all he was on this
earth for. There would be no happy ending to his story.
“Hey, you’re awake. How are you doing?”

Todd just grunted in response. He didn’t have the energy or willingness to talk, all he really
wanted to do was sleep. He recognized that he was depressed, but he figured he was allowed.
It was spring break after all and he had nowhere he was obligated to be.

“Knox is getting released from the hospital today. He’s going to stay in here with you, if
that’s okay. We figured it wasn’t safe for him to stay with Grant anymore.”

“Oh yeah, of course he can stay here.”

Todd didn’t move from bed and eventually Meeks left the room. Todd assumed he would
finally be left alone, but unfortunately, he had forgotten that that would never be the case
again because Meeks quickly returned with a plate of food.

“I brought you some breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Todd, when was the last time you ate anything?”

Todd wasn’t even sure of that himself. Probably Friday morning before his whole life as he
knew it had shattered around him. But it didn’t matter. Food wouldn’t magically solve
anything.

“Thanks for the food, Meeks,” he said, taking the plate from him. Because Meeks was
watching him, he picked at the plate, eating tiny pieces of food, but they tasted like nothing,
and weren’t worth it, in his opinion.

Eventually, he put the plate aside and Meeks took it and said, “I appreciate that you tried to
eat something anyway, for my sake. We’re all super worried about you.”
Todd could hear the “especially Neil” without him having to say it. It hurt that Neil still cared
about him at all with what he had done to him.

“Charlie, Pitts, and Neil went to help get Knox back here. They’ll be back any minute.”

“Okay, good to know.”

They sat in silence until there was a knock at the door and Todd pulled the blanket back over
his head. He couldn’t bear the idea of having to look at Neil. His sweet, kind-hearted ex-
boyfriend. Ugh, he wanted to start crying again, but he’d try to hold it in until everyone left.
Hopefully his soft crying would be preferable to Grant’s loud snoring already for Knox’s
sake.

Everyone hovered over Knox and Todd could tell it was driving him bonkers.

“Guys, guys, I’m fine. I just have a concussion, not something worse. I’ll be okay. You all
should go enjoy your breaks now, please. I just need some sleep. Besides, I’ll have Todd here
if I need anything.”

Todd removed the blanket from his head and attempted a smile to reassure them all that’d be
there for Knox. He deliberately avoided Neil’s gaze and instead saw Meeks and Charlie
exchange looks.

“Y-,” he cleared his throat. “Yep. I’ll be here for whatever you need, Knox.”

Knox threw him a grateful smile and Charlie, Meeks, and Neil all reluctantly left the room.

“I’ll try to be quiet when you’re sleeping, Knox. I know your old roommate was a pain,” he
said, attempting to make a joke, but it ended up landing pretty flat.
“Oh, I won’t be sleeping right away, I just wanted them out of our hair.” Knox stared at him.
“How are you doing, Todd?”

“How am I doing? You’re the one who’s injured, I should be asking you that.”

“I’m fine, really. My head hurts a bit at times and I still have a bit of a hard time focusing, but
that should go away with time. I’ve just been told to rest a lot the next couple of weeks which
I’m sure will get boring. But seriously, how are you, Todd? They told me about-,”

Todd cut him off quickly, “I’m okay, promise.”

Knox scrutinized him, disbelief etching across his face. Todd didn’t want to deal with this, he
was going back to sleep.

***

The week passed by with lots of sleeping and Knox attempting to get him to talk. He
should’ve known that he wouldn’t be safe from questioning even though he was with the
injured one of the group.

As the week Grant had given him was getting closer and closer to ending, Todd just got more
and more anxious. He tried to conceal it as best as he could, but he got the sense Knox knew
something was up.

Friday rolled around again, and Knox was taking a shower so Todd would be blissfully alone
for a little bit. He was lying on his bed, trying not to panic, when he got a glimpse of a bottle
of tequila Neil had left behind. He had come to get all of his stuff, but evidently he had
forgotten to get it and since he hadn’t come for it yet, he probably wouldn’t miss it.

Todd got up out of bed and picked it up. He didn’t have any glasses, but that was okay. He
could just drink from the bottle.
He was in the middle of taking another swig-he’d lost count at this point- when Knox came
in the room.

“Hey, Knoxxxx, want some?”

“Oh, hey, uh, thanks, that’s really sweet of you, but I’m on pain meds and shouldn’t mix that
with alcohol. Where’d you get that bottle, Todd?”

“ ‘twas Neil’s. I’m using it. He can add it to the long list of many reasons he now has to hate
me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, Todd. He never could.”

“Knox, you don’t have to lie to me. I hate me.” Todd took another gulp of the tequila.

Knox said, “Hey, Todd, maybe you should slow down on drinking that. You’ve already had
quite a bit from the looks of it, and you’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“Maybe you,” Todd said, pointing at Knox and slurring his words, “shouldn’t tell me what to
do. Everyone’s always telling me what to do. ‘M tired of it.”

“I’m only saying it cuz I care, Todd,” said Knox, as he tried to pull the bottle away from
Todd. Todd fought him on it at first, but then gave in, handing it over. Knox recapped it and
put it down on the ground. Knox sat down next to Todd on the bed and asked softly, “What’s
going on, Todd?”

Todd was good and drunk now and he didn’t even think before the words came spilling out.
“Grant said he’d go to Mr. Perry and tell him all about the party and the injury and well, me,
if I didn’t dump Neil and go back to him. I’m just trying to enjoy the last of my freedom
because come Monday morning, I’m gonna be Grant Booth’s boyfriend again.”
Todd started vomiting and Knox quickly ran to grab a trash can. Knox sat down beside him
and rubbed his back while he was throwing up. Todd was sobbing and he tried to speak but
he couldn’t say anything through the sobs. Knox murmured to him that he’s going to grab
him a glass of water. He came back quickly and helped Todd sip at it. When he had finished
the glass, Knox whispered softly, “You okay, Todd?”

“Not really. Sorry I puked everywhere.”

“It’s okay, you just get some rest now.”

Todd was gonna be so hungover in the morning…

***

*Knox’s POV*

As soon as he saw that Todd was asleep, he called Charlie. “We need to meet immediately.”

“Well come on over to our room.”

“What about Todd? I don’t want to leave him alone.”

“We’ll leave the door open a crack and keep our voices down. That way we can see if
anything happens.”

“Okay, that works. I’ll be right over.”

Knox went over to Charlie’s room and just as he had said he would, he left the door open a
crack so they could keep an eye on Todd’s door while talking. Knox told Meeks, Charlie, and
Neil what Todd had just told him.

Knox looked at Neil to gauge his reaction as soon as he told them what Todd had drunkenly
confessed to him. Neil looked frantic and distraught.

“That damn self-sacrificing asshole! He can’t do this! We’ll find another way! Hell, I’ll call
my dad and tell him myself!”

“Okay, let’s not be rash. We’ll find a way that works out for everyone. We ought to let Ginny
know. This is something she’d definitely want to hear,” said Charlie.

***

“He did WHAT?!” was the first thing Ginny said when Knox called her and filled her in. So,
that went well…

“Yeah apparently come Monday, if we don’t find a way to stop him, Grant is going to make
Todd be his boyfriend again. Please tell me you’ve got something we can work with.”

“I don’t. My plan has been taking too long.”

“What was your plan anyway?”

“I was interviewing any student at Ridgeway, Balincrest, Samson, etc that may have been at
the party last August. I have tapes and tapes of nothing so far. I was hoping if we had enough
testimonials paired with the other stuff against Grant that it’d serve as evidence to get him
kicked out. But there’s too many students left and not enough time.”
“We’ll help you!” Knox exclaimed. “Just tell us where to go and who to talk to and we’ll do
it.”

“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, concussion boy, you’re not going anywhere. You’re
staying behind with Todd. But that is a good idea to get the others involved.

***

All weekend, Knox checked in with Charlie and the others and still there was nothing. Knox
was really starting to panic. Grant was really going to get away with this and there was
nothing they could do to stop him.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a text from Ginny.

<From Ginny>

KNOX. YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GUESS WHAT I FOUND.

<To Ginny>

Probably not so tell me, what did you find?

<From Ginny>

Oh, this is gold. Meet me in Mr. Keating’s office tomorrow after school.

<To Ginny>
But what about Todd? We can’t just leave him alone! That’s when Grant will show.

<From Ginny>

Something tells me Grant won’t be able to make it.

He didn’t have much clarity on the subject, but he trusted Ginny and whatever she had must
be good enough to take him down once and for all. Knox went to sleep right away that night,
for once not plagued with worry for Todd.

*Todd’s POV*

Spring break was now over, school was starting again, and this afternoon, he’d be back with
Grant. He just had to keep reminding himself he was doing this for Neil. Neil, who was
nothing like Grant. Neil who cared for him, and treated him right. Todd may not have done
much right in his life, but he felt protecting Neil from his father’s wrath was the right thing.
Maybe he’d find a way to bargain with Grant, like once he has his claws in him, he has to
leave them off his friends. More than likely Grant would just laugh in his face. But he had to
try.

He kept his distance from everyone throughout the day knowing that if talked to any of his
friends, he might chicken out and not go through with his plan. The end of the school day
arrived far too quickly for his liking and he took a big breath before heading to Grant’s room.
He knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again, figuring maybe he hadn’t been loud
enough the first time, but again there was no answer. Where was Grant? Surely he hadn’t
forgotten his grand scheme…

He knocked one last time and then headed back to his room. Maybe Grant had wanted to
meet there instead. When he got there, he wasn’t surprised to find Neil wasn’t there, but he
was a little surprised that Grant wasn’t there. What was going on?

He was starting to feel anxious. He was going to keep up with his end of the bargain, he was
ready and waiting, so where the hell was Grant? If he was out hurting another of his friends,
he was going to be livid.
He started pacing when there was a knock on the door.

“Finally, what took you so lo-Knox?”

“Come with me, Todd. Pushover wants to see you.”

What? What was going on? What did he do wrong? His stomach hurt and his thoughts were
all scrambled up in his head.

“Did he say why?”

“Yes, he needs your testimony about the party from last August.”

“Wh-what? Why?”

“It’s a long story, one that will make sense very soon, I promise. I’m sorry if we scared you,
but Todd, this is good news.”

It sure didn’t seem like good news, being called to the principal’s office…

When Todd got into the office, he saw Chris, Chet, Ginny, Charlie, Neil, Meeks, Pitts, and
Mr. Keating? What on earth was he doing there? Standing on the other side of the room was a
very pissed-off looking Grant.

“Mr. Anderson, hello. Please come join your friends.”

Todd squeezed in beside Ginny and Charlie, thinking it was not a great idea to stand next to
Neil.

“Okay, now that Mr. Anderson is here, please continue your story, Mr. Dalton.”

“Sir, this is my friend Ginny Danburry. She, along with her brother Chet, and his girlfriend,
Chris Noel, myself, Steven Meeks, Gerard Pitts, Neil Perry, and Knox Overstreet have for
months now been gathering evidence against another student Grant Booth for his
wrongdoings against Todd Anderson, Neil Perry, and Knox Overstreet as well as another
student from Balincrest, Brandon Longfeld.

“Okay, why is Mr. Keating here?”

“He, with Neil Perry’s consent, has kept records of his meetings with Mr. Perry, and can
attest to some of these goings-ons as well.”

“Okay, go on.”

“Last August, we attended a back-to-school party at Balincrest University. There we met

Todd Anderson, before he was a student here, and Grant Booth. Neil Perry noticed that Grant
seemed to be bothering Todd so he stepped in to try to stop Grant from doing such a thing.
While it is true, all parties were under the influence of alcohol, we are willing to accept our
punishment for this, but it is pertinent information to the story. Grant Booth is the reason Neil
Perry landed in the hospital last August and we have video evidence to prove it.”

Todd looked over at Knox questioningly and Knox nodded.

“Here is a video, procured by my friend Ginny Danburry from a student at Balincrest

University of the “fight” between Neil and Grant. I say that with quotes because as you can
see in the video, Neil didn’t really fight back, but was knocked unconscious by Grant.”
Charlie and Ginny and everyone took turns going through the information and evidence they
had gathered, explaining the relevant information to Pushover. It was well-organized,
thought-out, and very professional-sounding. Todd was feeling very overwhelmed.

The whole time they were speaking, he could see Grant only becoming angrier and angrier,
but any time he tried to interrupt, he was shot down by Pushover. Maybe the guy deserved a
better nickname for that.

“Mr. Anderson, you’ve been very quiet, what do you have to say?”

Todd’s eyes widened when he realized he was being expected to speak. But as he looked
around the room at all of the friends he had made and realized all they had done for him, he
knew he had to tell the full story. Even if he was scared to do so in front of Grant.

“I was 16 when Grant and I first started dating at Balincrest. It was okay at first, but then he
started becoming abusive to me. It got so bad that I knew I had to leave Balincrest and all my
friends there and transfer to another school. Grant Booth followed me here. Neil Perry
pretended to be my boyfriend to protect me and Grant beat him up at that party. While at
Welton, he and his friends have done all they could to make sure Grant never went near me,
but it has reached the point where I feel I need to transfer schools again if something is not
done about this situation. He has hurt Neil, he has hurt Knox, he tried to kill Brandon and
Charlie, and he has threatened me. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I realize I was
stupid to do that. My friends have my back. I would appreciate it if Welton did too.”

Throughout his speech, he was looking at Neil, but Neil wouldn’t meet his eyes. He only
turned back to Pushover with that last line and then he looked at the ground.

“Thank you, all of you, for your testimony and your evidence.”

“Don’t I get a chance to speak?” asked Grant. “They’re accusing me of all of this and I don’t
get to say a word?”

“I think the video and physical evidence they have speaks for itself, but go on, what do you
have to say?”
Grant, eyes on Todd, said, “I was a person who fell in love and everything I did was to win
him back! His whole crew has had a vendetta against me from the start.”

“For very good reasons, don’t you think?” asked Mr. Keating.

“Your ‘it was for love’ argument is very touching, Mr. Booth, but violence and blackmail are
not acceptable no matter what your reasoning for doing them are. You are to be expelled from
Welton Academy and I will see to it that every other school in this area knows of your
wrongdoings. I do not tolerate this kind of behavior and I can’t imagine my colleagues would
either. Mr. Keating, please escort Mr. Booth out of here so he can collect his things.”

Mr. Keating did as requested and Grant headed towards the door in a rage. He turned to look
at Todd and said, “You may think you won, but you still won’t get your happy ending.”

The door slammed behind them and all of them turned back to Pushover to see what else he
would say.

“In a case like this, I should notify all of your parents with what has happened here, but being
in the presence of that deviant seems like it has been punishment enough. I will still have to
give everyone involved, under my jurisdiction, detention for the underage drinking.”

“We understand and accept that, Mr. Gordon,” said Charlie. “Thank you so much for hearing
us out.”

Mr. Gordon nodded and asked, “Is there anything else?”

“No, sir.”

“You are all dismissed.”

Chapter End Notes

Everything is coming to an end, how are we feeling?

 Mr. Perry, Come On!
Chapter Summary

Even when Grant is no longer around, he still causes trouble...

Chapter Notes

I am so sorry for how long it took to get this uploaded. I fully intended to have it
completed by my birthday, but then my laptop broke and I had to get a new one (which I
have now, yay!)

I did want to warn that there is the usage of "fairy" in a derogatory manner by Mr. Perry
and also he says other awful things too. Other than that, there is happiness ahead here!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

*Neil’s POV*

They all left the room and headed back to their own rooms. While on the way back to his
own room, Neil was thinking about how he and Todd definitely needed to talk.

He walked into the room and Todd was already there, but didn’t meet his eyes when he
entered. He started to speak when there was a knock on the door.

Neil went to answer it and it was Mr. Keating.

“Gentlemen, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could have a few words with
you?”

“Sure, sir. What’s going on?”

“Would you and Todd be willing to come to my office?”

Neil looked over at Todd and Todd nodded stiffly and then the two of them followed Mr.
Keating to his office.

Once inside, Neil gestured to Todd that he should take the chair and Neil stood awkwardly
behind him. Keating sat in his own chair and Neil asked, “Are we in trouble, sir?”

“No, the opposite. I just wanted to commend you both and your whole friend group for how
you all handled that situation. I know Grant has been tormenting you all for a very long time
and I’m so proud of you all for standing up for yourselves. I just wanted to say that if you
ever need my services again, please don’t hesitate to come talk to me.”

Neil opened his mouth to respond when there was a commotion in the hallway.

“Where is my son? Where is Neil?”

Neil froze. He knew that voice. It was his father. How? Why was he here?

He tried to get Todd to look at him, but he wouldn’t look up from his shoes. He appeared to
be shaking a bit as well.

Mr. Keating opened the door and came face-to-face with Neil’s father.

“Neil, I need to speak to you immediately. Take me back to your room so we can talk in
private.”

“Excuse me, but I am in the middle of a discussion with Neil and another classmate.
Whatever it is that you need Neil for will have to wait.”
Neil winced, knowing his father would be unhappy with what Mr. Keating just said to him.

“I don’t know who you think you are, but I am Neil’s father and I will speak to him whenever
and wherever I damn well please.”

“Keep your voice down, you are making a scene.” Mr. Keating turned to Neil and said, “Neil,
I can be a mediator for this discussion if that would make you more comfortable.”

“Now, see here, you. I need to have a discussion with my son and I don’t need you or anyone
else interfering.”

“No, you see here, Mr. Perry. Your son is clearly uncomfortable with your raised voice.
Whatever you have to say to him can be said here in this office or not at all.”

“I will be speaking to your higher-ups, although I don’t know how much good that will do.
This place really seems to have gone downhill since Mr. Nolan died.” His father appeared to
ignore Keating and the fact that Todd was still there and continued, “Neil, what is this I hear
about you getting involved in a fight with Grant Booth?”

“I, I-,”

“Do not talk back to me, I am not finished.” Mr. Perry said and Neil snapped his mouth
closed immediately and looked down at the ground. Mr. Keating appeared ready to jump in if
he was needed as Mr. Perry continued his tirade.

“Your mother and I did not raise you to get involved in fights! And forget the fact that you
somehow kept the fact that you were in the hospital for injuries from your mother and I for
all this time, we’ll come back to that. We pay for your schooling and for your clothes and
books and food, but we will not pay for your hospital bills for injuries you sustained fighting!
Especially not when it involves you coming to the defense of some-,”
“I would think very carefully about which word is about to come out of your mouth, Mr.
Perry. I do not take kindly to bigotry in my office,” said Mr. Keating.

“You be quiet! I will not allow you to police me or the way I parent my child! I did not raise
my son to be a fairy and I will not stand for it!”

“Does it matter at all to you that the person who told you this information is also one then?”
asked Todd, standing up, surprising everyone.

“Who are you? How dare you interrupt-,”

“You have a son who is smart, kind, caring. Someone who comes to the aid of a person in
need. I don’t see why that isn’t something you can get behind.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, you’re clearly an ungrateful child who trouble follows
wherever he goes. If this is the kind of company you keep, Neil, it’s no wonder you’ve gone
completely off the deep end. But no matter, we’ll set you straight. It’s time for you to come
home now and we can figure out how to help you not be such a deplorable deviant.”

“I’m not going with you!” Neil said. “Since I’m so awful and such a burden for you, I’ll
handle my own affairs. I’ll take care of my hospital bills and my schooling and all of that
myself.”

“No, you won’t,” said Mr. Keating. “I will help you. You can come stay with me, Neil.”

“No way in hell!”

“You’ve said it yourself, Mr. Perry. You don’t want a deplorable deviant as your son, well
then, fine. I’m not your son anymore. You can go now since you have no reason to be on this
campus any longer.”
Mr. Keating touched his shoulder and said, “Here, I can escort you out.”

Mr. Perry threw his hand off his shoulder and said, “Don’t touch me! I can see myself out just
fine.” He grumbled under his breath the entire time he was leaving and Neil didn’t breathe
until he was out of the vicinity.

Mr. Keating patted him on the shoulder and said, “Are you okay, Neil?”

“I am fine. I just need some rest, I think. Could we talk later?”

“Of course.”

Neil left the room and Todd followed him.

“Neil?” he asked timidly.

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk?”

“I think we should, yes, but can it wait until we get back to our room? I don’t want to make
more of a scene than I’m sure we’ve already made.”

Todd just nodded and reached for Neil’s hand before quickly dropping it back to his side as if
he’d been burned. Neil reached for his hand and pulled it into his own, squeezing hard. The
two walked silently hand-in-hand back to their room.

As soon as the door was closed behind them Todd said, “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to
break up with you, Neil. I was only trying to protect you like you have done for me this
whole time. I see now that I didn’t do a good enough job, but I can only beg for your
forgiveness and hope you can find it in that kind and generous nature of yours to extend it.”

Neil just stared at him, smiling, and Todd blinked at him, looking nervous. “You are the most
magnificent, beautiful person I have ever known and you have such a way with words. I am
in awe of you, you know that?”

“Uhh,” said Todd, blushing. “Does that mean you forgive me?”

“Todd, of course I forgive you. I won’t deny that I was very upset when you broke up with
me. I didn’t understand and it didn’t make sense, but I was trying to be respectful. And once
Knox told me what you said to him when you were drunk and I found out why you did it,
things made a lot more sense and I was a little angry, but mostly I was just worried about
you.”

“Wait, what do you mean Knox told you what I said to him? What did I say to him?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No, that night is a blur.”

“You told him that Grant blackmailed you and so you were going to go back to him and Knox
told us all that and we did everything we could to prevent that from happening. We all
worked all weekend to find proof against Grant and we lucked out big time that Ginny found
that person who had taken that video just in time. Why do you think we chose today to do
that?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t really had time to think about it. I just know all of a sudden this
afternoon, I was being summoned to Gordon’s office and I was scared and confused. But you
guys really did all of that for me?”
“Of course we did, Todd. Don’t you see? We all love you, well, my love for you is probably a
bit different from theirs, but-,”

“You, you love me?”

“How could I not?”

“I could think of lots of reasons.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I bet my list of reasons to love you is longer.”

“Neil-,”

“Those people in your life who belittled you, who made you feel less than, they don’t matter
anymore. The lies they have told you, the lies you still tell yourself, that you are unloveable,
unworthy, they’re just that: lies. I see the good in you. I see your loyalty, your tenacity, how
you didn’t let anyone keep you down. I see how you don’t even blink, don’t even hesitate to
tease Charlie back as good as he serves it. I see how you encourage Meeks and Pitts in their
hobbies and their passions. I see how even if your brain is telling you you aren’t good enough
that you try with everything you have inside you to be. And you are, Todd Anderson. You
are. I see a boy who is so selfless he was willing to put himself in harm’s way just to ensure
others didn’t get hurt.”

Neil watched as Todd started to cry and he wrapped him in his arms, rubbing his back and
trying to soothe him as he just cried and cried.

He pulled away and looked into Todd’s tear-stained eyes, and said, “I love you.”

Todd kissed him and pulled away and murmured, “I love you too. Can we be boyfriends
again?”
 Neil smiled and laughed and said, “I’d love nothing more.”

Chapter End Notes

I haven't written the last chapter yet, but I have a vague idea of what will happen so I
hope I can release it soon! <3

Thanks to everyone who has read and supported this fic, ily!

You can find me on twitter or tumblr @whaddyameanno

 I Might Be Going to Yale, But Uh, Uh, I,I, Might Not
Chapter Summary

Everyone graduates and they have a party.

Chapter Notes

Okay, wow, here we are, the very end. I have been with this story for 3 years and that's
absolutely WILD to think about. I'm sorry this last chapter took me so long to get out. I
started getting in my head about this chapter not being good enough or like a satisfying
conclusion and I was half-tempted to just leave it where it ended last chapter, but I
promised another chapter and so here I am.

It took me a while and a couple of re-writes to get this to where I'm happy with it. I hope
you all like it. I kinda got burnt out writing for this fandom bc I'm kinda sorta super
hyperfixated on something else rn, so I'm really sorry if this isn't great or satisfying, but
I always said I wanted to finish this story for me and I did that and I'm proud of it.

Sorry, that was a lot of shit that you probably didn't want to read and you're probably
like "shut up and get to the story, already, Emma, geez." and I will, I promise, but I want
to thank some people first.

Thank you so much to Li and Han for being my best DPS fandom friends and for
helping me with this story. Thank you to anyone that ever helped me with reading over
this, editing, etc. Thank you to anyone who has ever read or commented on this fic these
past few years. Your support and your kind words have meant so much to me. When I
started this story, life was kinda rough and only got worse from there, but I had this
universe and it helped me get through and I'm so grateful to you all! Thank you! Also,
sorry I'm so bad at replying to comments. I am trying to be better about that.

Okay, enough blabbering on and here's the final chapter of A Guy I Might Kinda Be
Into!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

~2 Months Later~

*Neil’s POV*
The last two months of high school had passed rather quickly, but that wasn’t surprising
considering all Neil had going on. Mr. Keating had kept his word and had been helping Neil,
but Neil didn’t want him doing all that for him by himself and so he had gotten a part-time
job to help with the costs as much as he possibly could. Keating had told him that it was
unnecessary, but to Neil, it wasn’t.

When not working or finishing up school things, Neil and Todd hung out together. They had
already decided that no matter what happened, they were going to try to make things work
between them. And wherever they ended up, hopefully that entailed them getting a place
together.

For the summer, at least, they would both be staying with Mr. Keating while they figured out
what was next for them. Many of their friends had already figured that all out and so after
graduation, Mr. Keating had agreed to let them use his place for a farewell party as several of
their friends would go off and form their own paths in the world.

Charlie, of course, heard the word “party” and immediately took charge. Keating had warned
them all that he knew he couldn’t stop them from drinking if they were going to, but that if
that were the case, he insisted they all spend the night and not endanger themselves or others
by leaving.

Aside from all their friends attending Welton, Charlie insisted their new friends from
Balincrest be invited as well. After all, they had all gotten close scheming against Grant.
There’s nothing that brings people closer together than bonding over trauma.

As for Grant, Neil was happy to report that none of them had heard anything from him since.
They all checked in with each other every once in a while just to make sure, but so far,
everything had been smooth sailing. They knew that no matter what, they’d always have each
others’ backs, even if, god forbid, he were to come back somehow.

***

Graduation passed in a haze and before they all knew it, it was time for the party. Charlie had
really gone all out with the decor and while it should be a very happy time, considering they
made it through high school, especially what with all the bullshit that they had put up with
this past year, Neil couldn’t help but feel a bit melancholy. He wanted the best for his friends
and he wanted them to go off and find themselves, but he was so used to seeing them every
day and now he wouldn’t be able to. Of course, this wasn’t the end of their friendships, but he
knew how busy life could get and he couldn’t help but be afraid that life as he knows it would
cease to exist.

He tried to shake his sad thoughts away. Tonight was a party, it was supposed to be fun, and
making himself sad wouldn’t accomplish anything except for you know, being sad.

A knock on the door interrupted his musings and he looked up to see his beautiful boyfriend
staring at him, with concern on his face.

“Neil? Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure, but I know I will be. What about you? Are you okay?”

Todd had been a lot happier than Neil had ever seen him lately. He had once told him that he
felt like he could finally breathe, knowing Grant couldn’t get to him anymore and that his
friends had his back.

Todd came up to Neil and hugged him. “I know the future may seem scary, and that things
will change, but you know what? Sometimes change is necessary. Sometimes change brings
you things you never thought you could ever have. After all, it was the changes that occurred
in my life that brought me you.”

Neil leaned in and kissed Todd. When Todd pulled away, he took Neil’s hand in his and
dragged him to the door, excitedly saying, “Now, come on, let’s join this party!”

Once everyone was around, Neil clinked his glass to get their attention. “Every single person
in this room is so important to me and I’m glad that we all get to celebrate here together. I
don’t know what I would do if I had never known you and I don’t care to ever find out.
Here’s to friendship and to figuring it out along the way!” He raised his glass in a toast and
everyone followed suit. And as he took a drink, he knew, instinctively, that everything would
be alright.

“Here here!” Charlie exclaimed as he proceeded to down his entire drink in one.

“Slow your roll there, Dalton,” said Knox. “There’s no rush here.”

“I know that, I was just trying to get things started. Let the festivities commence!”

It took some coaxing and more than a couple drinks to get Todd to loosen up and join Charlie
on the dance floor. He had gotten more comfortable around all of them over time, of course,
but he wasn’t at Charlie-levels of confidence and he never would be. Neil looked on at Todd
dancing delightfully until Todd waggled his finger at him, causing him to rush to the dance
floor to join his boyfriend.

“Levitating” by Dua Lipa came on and everyone who wasn’t on the dance floor already
rushed to it to join in on the fun. Neil took many photos that night and even a little bit of
video, just wanting to remember this wonderful night with the people who were most
important to him.

***

“You had all better visit me at school. Or I’ll hop on a plane and visit you all, I don’t care
how it happens, but it’s happening,” Meeks loudly exclaimed. The party had been going on
for a while now and he, among others, was very drunk.

Charlie, who was not as far gone as he was, laughed and said, “Honey, take it down a little
bit, you’re being very loud. I still love you though.” He kissed him on the forehead.

Neil looked around at his group of friends and he felt so much love in his heart. Here was his
group of friends all in one place for the last time for a while and it was bittersweet.
Todd cuddled up to him and laid his head on his shoulder, yawning. “You doing okay?”

“Mhm, I’m just getting sleepy. The alcohol kinda went to my head, but I also don’t want to
go to bed yet. Because then the night will be over and we will all have to part and it’ll be
sad.”

“We’ll all see each other, this isn’t the end for this group. We’ve all been through too much
together to just let our friendships fizzle out like that.”

“You’re right. You always know the right thing to say.”

“Says the poet,” Neil said with a snort.

“The poet has checked out for the evening and has been replaced with a cuddle monster.”

“Oh noooo, a cuddle monster?! Whatever will I do?”

“It doesn’t matter, you cannot resist.”

“Well then I guess I accept my fate.”

“Good,” said Todd as he gave Neil a quick peck. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Todd.”

Eventually, unfortunately, the night came to an end and everyone either passed out or sobered
up enough to get themselves to bed.
 He couldn’t describe it exactly, but this night marked a shift in all of their lives. Mere hours
ago, they had still been in high school, and now they were going off to college, and
technically considered adults. Now they could begin living for themselves and doing
whatever they wanted to do-well, within reason. It was exciting and overwhelming and
terrifying, but Neil was ready for it.

Chapter End Notes

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