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Dowry and Daughters. The Social, Religious and Legal Dilemma of Denying Dowry 1st Edition Anwesha Arya-Bhattacharya
Dowry and Daughters. The Social, Religious and Legal Dilemma of Denying Dowry 1st Edition Anwesha Arya-Bhattacharya
The Social,
Religious and Legal Dilemma of
Denying Dowry 1st Edition Anwesha
Arya-Bhattacharya
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DOW RY A N D DAUGH T ERS
Anwesha Arya-Bhattacharya
First published 2023
by Routledge
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© 2023 Anwesha Arya-Bhattacharya
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or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and
explanation without intent to infringe.
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Arya-Bhattacharya, Anwesha, author.
Title: Dowry and daughters : the social, religious and legal dilemma
of denying dowry / Anwesha Arya-Bhattacharya.
Description: 1 Edition. | New York, NY : Routledge, imprint of
Taylor & Francis Group, 2023. | Includes bibliographical references
and index. |
Identifiers: LCCN 2022049234 (print) | LCCN 2022049235
(ebook) | ISBN 9780367210731 (hardback) | ISBN 9781032460253
(paperback) | ISBN 9780429285202 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Dowry—India. | Marriage—India. | Marriage
customs and rites—India. | India—Social life and customs.
Classification: LCC HQ1017 .A79 2023 (print) | LCC HQ1017
(ebook) | DDC 392.5082/0954—dc23/eng/20221013
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022049234
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022049235
DOI: 10.4324/9780429285202
Typeset in Sabon
by codeMantra
Figure 1 Warli Etching, “Circle of Solidarity”, white paint on brown paper.
̣
Artist: Jiyasomāmse.
Photograph: Sagar Arya.
Source: Arya Private Collection.
CON T EN TS
List of figures ix
List of tables xi
Foreword xiii
Preface xvii
Acknowledgements xxi
Abbreviations xxiii
Bibliography 207
Index 229
vii
FIGU R ES
ix
TABLES
xi
FOR EWOR D
xiii
Foreword
compared to her brother, but that set of unequal arrangements itself was
part of custom, which everyone accepted.
Maybe, thus, something went wrong in postcolonial India when adver-
sarial approaches to debating the “dowry problem” became part of an
extended gender war, pitting “tradition” against “modernity”, modern
laws seeking to outlaw dowry against “custom”, and of course, men against
women. Dowry activists conveniently ignored that simplistic visions of gen-
dered patterns of family strategies could not be sensibly maintained, as one
day a family were receivers of a bride and another day the same people were
the bride-givers. A more integrated, holistic perspective seemed to recom-
mend itself, while the phenomenon of dowry itself refused to be outlawed.
In fact, new customs developed in various parts and classes of India as
a kind of bricolage, reconstructed out of earlier textual and non-textual
patterns of expectations, combined with current desires and contempo-
rary practical needs. When critical social studies scholars today encourage
us to actively contemporanise and thereby avoid “a negative dialectics of
despair” while combining theory and practice in the Anthropocene (Rajan,
2017: 72), postcolonial theorising develops and reflects a maturity that was
earlier lacking (Banerjee et al., 2016: 43).
Anwesha began her doctoral thesis on the dowry issue a few years after
our late twentieth-century struggles with this topic in 2002. She took time
to complete her work, as she was also raising a young family during the
same period. Learning now for herself what it meant to have a daughter,
not merely to be one, may have contributed to her own conviction that
dowry was there to stay. Yes, it seemed to have ancient roots, being part of
texts, clearly since faraway times, but that in itself was no reason to deny
its contemporary validity. In view of growing realisation that we act as bri-
colateurs of contemporary and more recent customs, Anwesha’s work too
acknowledged that dowry practices did not necessarily lead to the death
of daughters, brides and married women. Given that any attempts to out-
law the practice were clearly symbolic and full of rhetoric, she argued that
dowry continues to be part of people’s customary norms (sadācāra) not
only among Hindus and not only in India. We are now told that this means
we participate in the corruptions of human life (Rajan, 2020), but I shall
leave Anwesha to address that.
Giving your daughter all kinds of things that might fall under the wide
definitional umbrella of dowry thus turned out to be the right thing to do,
always provided that it was properly balanced. For, in certain situations,
there could still be dowry-related violence, which would most likely then
tell us more about interpersonal relationship struggles and dark desires to
cause trouble to “the other” rather than reasonable enjoyment of what one
got and should be able to share for mutual enjoyment.
Picking up the threads of her earlier work now, Anwesha indicates a fur-
ther effort to contemporanise her own understanding of the conundrum of
xiv
Foreword
xv
Foreword
Picking up the threads of her doctoral study, Anwesha now reiterates that
dowry is manifestly still part of marital expectations, and makes sense in
many ways, but also needs to be intelligently managed. It is obvious that,
meanwhile, expectations have become inflated, while media hypes and big
showy weddings reflect excessive consumerism. Yet this book still finds
that, as we saw also in the mid-1990s, while we may be unable to pinpoint
precisely what “dowry” is and what it is not, it remains a part of “the
Indian way”, which is, in reality, a whole cluster of various Indian ways and
South Asian practices.
If today’s mothers and daughters want to ensure a good deal out of
these customary bricolages and are genuinely looking for well-balanced
approaches to this tricky conundrum, they will do well to inform them-
selves about what may or may not be reasonable and appropriate regarding
dowry expectations and arrangements. Anwesha’s book is much more than
a “How-To-Arrange-A-Dowry” guidebook or bricolage; it may be seen as
a new form, a postcolonial avatār, of femiśāstra.
Werner Menski
Emeritus Professor of South Asian Laws,
SOAS, University of London, London, UK
References
Banerjee, P., Nigam, A. & and Pandey, R. (2016, September 10) ‘The Work of The-
ory. Thinking across Traditions’, Economic & Political Weekly, 51(37): 42–50.
Leslie, J. (1999) ‘Dowry, “Dowry Deaths” and Violence against Women: A Jour-
ney of Discovery’. In W. Menski (ed.) South Asians and the Dowry Problem
(pp. 21–35). New Delhi: Vistaar.
Menski, W. (ed.) (1998) South Asians and the Dowry Problem. Stoke-on-Trent:
Trentham Books.
Menski, W. (ed.) (1999) South Asians and the Dowry Problem. New Delhi: Vistaar.
Rajan, C. S. (2017, April 8) ‘Practising Theory in the Anthropocene. A Postcolonial
Quest for Reliable Knowledge’, Economic & Political Weekly, 52(14): 72–74.
Rajan, C. S. (2020) A Social Theory of Corruption: Notes from the Indian Subcon-
tinent. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
xvi
PR EFACE
This preoccupation of a girl being the wealth of a family is what began the
research that has led to the exposition laid out in this book. If daughters
and dowries are linked by the umbilicus of wealth, who is more valued?
The girl or the gold she brings?
Where does a daughter really belong? In Game of Thrones,1 a nostalgic
traveling soldier hears his wife has given birth to their baby back home.
Being asked if he prefers a boy or girl, he says: “everyone knows girls look
after their Papas…boys just go off to fight in others wars”. This sentiment
acknowledges the place of a girl at the heart of her natal family in a made
up medieval world. It is just this sort of saying or rather the lack of it in
India while I was growing up that forced me to question my status as a girl
child. Who did I really belong to? The home I was born into? Or, was it the
household I would marry into?
In 2022, National Daughters’ Day, 22 September, was instituted to stress
the need to underpin a girl’s status within her own family in the UK and the
USA. Surely, the fact that this needs underlining is symptomatic of broken
attitudes that we Indian daughters have always lived with. Yes, it is true, in
India young girls grow up learning to accept the truth that we are paraya
dhan, ‘another’s wealth’. In some communities, a girl’s given name, not just
her surname, may be taken from her on marriage. She is often renamed
with an astrologically, phonetically matched name to her husband. This
year, I turned 48. It is a long time to feel like you don’t belong.
What will I teach my 13-year-old girl? India is by no means alone in treat-
ing its daughters as different. Our golden age rhetoric hails women as god-
desses. The reality reflects nothing of the sort. When I was twelve, during a
xvii
Preface
class discussion on history, one sentence stood out: In ancient Vedic times,
women and men had equal status. At breakfast, I would often read my
father’s newspaper over his shoulder. The headlines regularly screeched like
badly oiled bike wheels, “Another Bride Burned”. 2
How do 3,000 years undo equality? Surely, modernism meant women
being equal to men? I didn’t understand. Most of my student life I sought
what I thought would be a straightforward answer to this question of
equality. And found none.
What I found instead were an amazing range of history teachers and one
literature tutor who made me understand how to find appropriate tools
to unearth and then unpick the past. I stared at the tangle of history and
realised that to clear the web of words to get to the bare rock face of what
the Indian past was about was the only way. Miss Hughes and Miss Gwen
Maclure at St. Hilda’s, Ooty, encouraged my almost boyish rebellion. Mrs
Inamdar at A. F. Petit, Bombay, and Mrs Nadig at Learners’ Academy and
then Miss Kamat at Sophia College all enabled my brain to continue the
stream of questions. I was so fortunate that not one of these wonderful
women shut me down. None said that it was pointless. Alongside, my brave
and rebellious mother by her deeds showed me to always question why
rather than to do and die. Wendy Doniger, whose kind permission I have to
use her Sanskrit translations, inspired me to strike out and find the feminist
side to our ancient verses. As a student of Julia Leslie, I met professor Doni-
ger in my Masters year at SOAS. It was the time the silly Hindu brigade
threw eggs at her. I was one of the Indian girls who stood up to them.
Finally, I found a guru at SOAS, under whose tutelage I came to fully
frame the first question I needed to find an answer to: What is the value of
daughters?
Julia Leslie was teaching a Masters charting Orthodoxy and its attitude
to women in India. I felt like I had come home. With her, in 1998, I set up
the Gender and Religions Research (GRR) Centre at the School of Orien-
tal and African Studies (SOAS), University of London. She guided me to
her student Werner Menski. His enabling tutelage helped set to rest the
horrible feeling that daughters just don’t matter; that we can never belong.
On Doniger’s wide shoulders, I stand making my own contribution to an
ongoing battle.
The stormy afternoon my father died, Tata Trusts called inviting me to
attend their J N Tata International Scholarship interview. I had to post-
pone not just the interview, but also my unconditional acceptance to SOAS.
I was furious with my father for dying; we had just begun to talk about
̣
our old family ties to the ancient Rgveda manuscripts. He explained how
Bhatt-Acharya (my maiden surname) meant “teachers acharya of the priests
bhatt”. I wanted so much more. But my direct link to my own past was gone.
However, what happened in the days that followed Baba’s death changed
everything.
xviii
Preface
My brother could not make the journey back in time from Italy to India
to perform his duty-bound last rites for our father. My sister was already
married. Her name change implied she no longer “belonged” to our family
clan. Who would consign Baba to the purifying flames? Our elder cousin
Amitda hurriedly leafed through the panchang (clan charter and guide-
book) to find a solution to the cremation of a man with an absentee son. So
many solutions exist in these old writings, covering every context.
My father lay there, unable to join the discussion, as he would have loved
to. He looked abandoned, by history, by our family.
As the extended family clustered around my father’s bier, I watched my
sister break down. She was not allowed to light his pyre. Across noisy
chanting from others’ pyres, our cousin Amitda decisively clutched my
shoulder. He pronounced me putrika-putri the son-like-daughter. I had
never heard of such a thing. I was given the honour of performing mukh-
agni for Baba, to literally set his mouth (mukh) aflame (agni) to lift the soul
into the wind, to symbolically set him adrift from the body on the bier.
Didi’s kohl-smeared eyes were unbearable. I grabbed her hand. Together,
two daughters as one, we stumbled around our Baba three times. Amitda
was so terrified we had broken with ancient rites, he performed it all again.
How I dissociated emotionally from the events of that drenched after-
noon I have no idea. I memorised each action. What was in that rough-
edged old book? How was I different now? Did my actual status change
when I was appointed the son-like-daughter? It felt more part of an anthro-
pological “participant-observer” project. Had I not married a man I love,
whose surname I also happen to love, I could have claimed the name pref-
erence clause provided by the old texts; the additional role of keeping my
father’s surname alive, as only a putrika-putri is allowed. One of our three
sons could officially keep my father’s surname.
Suddenly, the girl who wanted so much to be equal to her brother was
granted her wish.
But what I could not shrug off was the disdain I felt 13 days later when
my brother finally returned. I was set aside. The “real” son was back. In his
defence, my brother attempted to object.
This sort of “son-preference” twists our society, particularly in India
but also in Indian communities abroad. Many academic observers sadly
surmise this is common in global cultures, where patriarchal perspectives
persist. The SOAS GRR Conference in Delhi (2003) I convened found repe-
titious stories of holding girls back from reaching their full potential.
Although fortunate in so many ways to be the daughter of rebellious,
liberal parents, I could no longer question my dead father. Together with
Professor Menski and Julia Leslie, I began to unhook a past tangled in our
̣
plural Indian context. The Rgveda, Book X, hymn 85, places human mar-
riage at the centre of the Vedic universe. Translating these verses during my
Masters (1998) in search of the first mention of dowry, I found something.
xix
Preface
The long gone Vedic composers set as the opening sequence for the human
marriage, a magical union between celestial beings.
Skewed global statistics attest the disempowered status of women. The
fact remains that according to UN data, most women will be killed in their
own household, murdered by current or previous partners.3 Within mur-
der-suicides involving an intimate partner, 94% of the victims are women.4
This worldwide statistic begs the question: How do women own and con-
trol our own destiny? The medieval author Manu is believed to have per-
petuated the Indian ideal that a girl belongs, like a piece of property, first to
her father, then to her husband and finally to her son. All Indian men know
this. This must change.
I am finally tired of feeling ashamed as an Indian daughter. The shame
of being unequal. The extraordinarily simple saying quoted above is one I
recently heard in England where I now live. Egalitarianism in the country of
my birth, however, particularly in terms of gender equality, is an accepted
myth. We are not the wealth of the family we are born into, we only briefly
belong. Our permanent place is elsewhere. Dowry represents this.
So I will steal the old English saying. I empower me to declare, for all
daughters anywhere and everywhere: “A daughter is a daughter all her life”.
Notes
1 Episode 1, Series Seven, HBO (2017).
2 Roop Kanwar was forced to commit Sati on 4 September 1987 (see article:
latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-11-23-mn-15923). The case continues 32
years on. See also https://hindustantimes.com/jaipur/32-years-on-rajasthan-
s-roop-kanwar-case-drags-on-in-court/story-WWijRe51LAufn8gS9nCeFO.
html.
3 The latest UN figures show that 137 women across the world are killed every
day by a partner or member of their own family—a total of 50,000 women a
year murdered by people they know and should be able to trust; weforum.org
(2017).
4 ncadv.org (National Coalition against Domestic Violence, USA).
xx
ACKNOW LEDGEM EN TS
A work that has taken longer than anticipated is finally complete, due
mainly to the support and extraordinary efforts of several individuals.
The kernel for this study was uncovered during my Master’s year at the
School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS) in 1998–1999 under the
irreplaceable guidance of two Guru-tutors: Dr Julia Leslie and Professor
Werner Menski. I was encouraged and enabled by their strong support to
secure SOAS’s RSF in early 2002. I began this interdisciplinary PhD study
with the guiding principles from the Study of Religions under Dr Leslie
and that of Hindu legal concepts and issues pertaining to global ideas of
law-making under Professor Menski. The sudden and irrevocable loss of
Dr Leslie, besides other difficult personal circumstances, has made the
completion of this book and the associated research work an unenviable
process.
I am grateful to the School of Oriental and African Studies’ (SOAS)
Research Student Fellowship (RSF), which made it possible to undertake
this research in the first place. Deep gratitude to Professor Roger Ballard
for his incisive comments on dharma with a very small “d”. Further, sincere
appreciation to Dr Caroline Osella for her guidance in making this work
more thorough. Finally, to Shoma Choudhury and Anvitaa Bajaj at Rout-
ledge for their patience in the final process of putting these pages to print.
Among dear friends, Dr Jeremy Lind who has from the very first draft
report to this final finished product offered sound editorial input and
incomparable friendship.
Grateful thanks to my darling sister Dr Sukanya Sengupta for her
immense support. My grandmother, Mimma, who lived through a world
that did not question things, but made me ask why. Further, to my young
family: Azaan Sikander, our youngest, who patiently watched the final edit-
ing, letting me type as he refused sleep; Suhaan, for allowing me time away
from learning to crawl with him; to Sanaaya, my wonder girl, for inspir-
ing me with her bubbling determination; and to Ayaan, our first boy, for
xxi
Acknowledgements
Anwesha Arya-Bhattacharya
East Sussex
September 2022
xxii
ABBR EV I AT IONS
xxiii
I N TRODUCT ION
Dowry exists
Dowry exists. More than six decades after being outlawed, the custom of
dowry appears to outweigh law. Why? Indian marriages are inextricably
linked to this customary marriage payment. The bride’s family gives dowry
at the time of the wedding, but the gift-giving is more an expectation, which
begins way before; sometimes, even at the time of marriage negotiations.
However, there is little agreement about exactly when these gifts should
begin to be given and when they should stop. Peculiar to Indian marriages
at home and abroad, dowry has become linked to violence and death.
In June 2022, three sisters jumped to their deaths, leaving a suicide text
on WhatsApp blaming dowry harassment. This has brought dowry back
onto the social agenda, after it fell out of discussion. 2 This book asks the
question about how daughters are valued and how dowry as a custom
defines this value.
The persistence of dowry as a problem is borne out by regular reportage
in news media. The most shocking statistic being that at least 20 women die
daily as a direct result of dowry demands. These demands continue to plague
families, who across India and the Diaspora insist on following custom rather
than paying heed to law. This book asks the crucial question: Is custom more
important than law when addressing the area of marriage? Evidently, yes.
Though declared unlawful in 1961, dowry is still here, larger than law.
Marriages occupy the realm of the sacred. The laws that govern Indian
Hindu marriage3 are a set of unwritten yet prescriptive codes found in
the cultural texts. The very act of getting married is an emulation of the
divine first wedding described in the ancient marriage hymn: Suryasukta
̣
from the Rgveda, often considered the first and oldest Veda. The marriage
between Soma, the Moon, and Suryaa, the daughter of Surya the sun god,
is what every mortal marriage aspires to emulate. So, do the gods believe
that giving gold is good? Or is the gift of the girl enough? The intent of this
introductory chapter is to summarise the main core argument as set out in
this book discussing dowry as a valid dilemma facing daughters.
2
Introduction
That all across India dowry has been problematic enough to occupy the
judiciary and the social justice network and intelligentsia is not in question.
In fact, in spite of a deeply debated prohibitive statute, the DPA (1961),
dowry practice in India and across Indian communities continues virtually
unchecked. My doctoral thesis asked: Why?
The answer appears in the smoke trail of expectations surrounding mar-
riage, within which dowry as a custom operates. Marriages occupy the
sacred realm and are, therefore, governed more by custom than by book
law, as this research will show.
3
Introduction
4
Introduction
Briefly, the argument here links the ancient model for marriage laid out
̣
in the Rgveda to what is envisioned in modern law. Specifically, in chant
RVX.85, Brahma marriage is linked to the modern vision of marriage as
enshrined in the HMA (1955). This book also comments on similar trends
the official perception of “tradition” is seen to take. It will also clarify
that social practice may be something quite different from “tradition”,
as laid out in the texts. Throughout this book, the role of book law and
the vital importance given to following positivist notions of book law are
considered.
I also examine the idea that these books have, at least partly, been created
by tradition in themselves. Therefore, the crux of the argument here high-
lights that dowry as a part of Indian Hindu marriage has always existed,
and that it grew and evolved, as did society around it. Conspicuous con-
sumption and middle-class morality today (Saavala, 2010) are not enough
to explain away the depth to which dowry is embedded within the tradi-
tional practices of many disparate and similar communities across India
and in the Diaspora.
Conclusion
Therefore, dowry, according to this book and demonstrably from numerous
social examples, cannot be easily removed, let alone expunged by legislative
fiat, from Indian marriage or society. Dowry refuses to be made illegiti-
mate. The primary reason for this is manifestly the strong link of dowry
with auspiciousness and gift-giving, which is considered highly powerful in
relation to clan rank transformation and maintenance, in the garb of hyper-
gamy (Chapter 4). So, dowry is written into South Asian societies and into
the very fabric of the statute that claims to ban it. It is clearly present within
ancient norms of marriage and is evident in medieval and finally in modern
marriage practice. To whatever extent, a girl is rarely married without the
expectation of dowry and the giving of traditionally acceptable gifts.
Highlighting these trends, the research here clearly points out that, with-
out turning into a predominantly law-centred argument, banning dowry
has in the main been a myopic failure on the part of our modern Indian
administration. Dowry is a classic interdisciplinary Area Studies phenom-
enon, which cannot be studied in a mono-dimensional way. The unsatis-
factory development of Indian legal studies, however, has prevented proper
analysis of such issues and has led to propagandistic handling of the theme
by many participants, some of whom (most evidently Madhu Kishwar) have
come to realise that banning dowry outright is not the way forward anyway.
There needs to be a fresh approach, both academically and legislatively,
which will take into account the auspiciousness of the gift of a girl and
what should clearly be construed as her part in the wealth accompanying
her into the new marital home.
5
Introduction
6
Introduction
position in the field of marriage, past and present. These ideas may cause
great chagrin and concern to those who see Vedic Literature in purely mys-
tical or spiritual terms. So now what we need to engage with here is to find
how dowry and daughters have been bound traditionally by marriage.
Ultimately, it comes down to the position of women in our society. We
have none. Gauging by the rapid march of post-postmodernity, it is embar-
rassing to admit that Indian women10 do not own, operate or control our
own body image, let alone intimate spaces that we inhabit daily. Deep-
rooted patriarchy exercises control over every aspect of our existence. The
existence of dowry and all the problems it breeds is proof that daughters
continue to be seen and treated as property.
In the light of the shocking events of 2012 (Delhi Crime, Series 1, 2019,
Amazon Prime),11 the publication of this material has become preciously
more pertinent. Daughters need our value to be reappraised, not in mone-
tary terms, but in terms of life.
Notes
1 https://www.deccanherald.com/opinion/why-laws-have-failed-to-tackle-
dowry-deaths-1114276.html.
2 https://economictimes.indiatimes.com//news/india/death-of-three-sisters-
spotlights-india-dowry-violence/articleshow/92070742.cms?utm_source=-
contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst.
3 By which this book refers to the entire institution of Indian Hindu marriage
and even beyond it into Christian, Muslim and even Buddhist marriages.
4 “I am the father of six girls, there is a limit to how much I can give”, added
Sardar, who earns a meagre income as a farmer. https://economictimes.
indiatimes.com//news/india/death-of-three-sisters-spotlights-india-dowry-
violence/articleshow/92070742.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_
medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst.
5 Vāhatu or vāhatum, as the Sanskrit term appears in this chant, is now accepted
as representing dowry. It is linked to vivāha or marriage. More on this in
Chapters 5, 7 and 8.
6 Notably here in the Hindi term lena or “taking” appears before dena, which is
to give. Whether this is merely a linguistic characterization because it sounds
better or whether it emphasises the role of the one who takes as being somehow
better or more superior in respect of the one who gives. As this thesis has out-
lined, the gift-giver is usually at the lower end of the social status scale.
7 The fictional Colonel Pickering in My Fair Lady (1964) discovered in excess
of 200 distinct Indian languages, apart from various dialects; however, the
most recent count of actual Indian languages stands at “… including the 22
‘scheduled’ languages, stands at 461 spoken languages, including 14 considered
extinct across the subcontinent today…” (Arya, 2015). https://www.forbesin-
dia.com/article/think/various-versions-of-english-nay-inglish/41689/1.
8 Under the provision of the Special Marriage Act (1954), all persons of Indian
descent need to marry under the auspices of this act. In reality, far fewer mar-
riages end up being officially registered.
9 See below the discussion on the importance of the fourfold path to dharma, for
more detail on this aspect of the prohibitive law.
7
Introduction
8
1
DOW RY A N D FATAL
AUSPICIOUSN ESS
all, the ideal marriage that holds down the very centre of the Indian cosmic
universe. Dowry has been underlying the auspiciousness of marriages made
in heaven and on earth since the Veda became word. We have masses of
literary sources to help reveal the underlying situation. Why fatal?
To get these questions answered, dowry needs unearthing in text and
context (Chapter 4). This book examines literature on Indian kinship and
family, the field where dowry-giving and receiving occurs. 2 Crucially, this
book highlights capital theory when considering the making of new mar-
ital ties in terms of kinship hierarchy, thereby attempting to define dowry
in sociological terms (Karve, 1965; Raheja, 1988). Leading sociologist
M. N. Srinivas (1984: 17) believes this theory however to be misleading.3
Nothing in the following discussion or debate is simple, let alone simplistic.
It is however intriguing and deeply interesting to seek out why dowry exists.
That dowry is the sum of gifts and prestations, linked to the formulation
of a marriage between two people, two families and finally two communi-
ties, tends to be central to most Indian marriages, whether Hindu or not.
That this gifting behaviour continues into the wider married life of the cou-
ple, beyond the rites associated with and surrounding the wedding itself,
and this is always plural has been clearly demonstrated within the argu-
ment here (see Chapter 4). In examining the link of hypergamy to dowry
marriages, the auspiciousness and purity associated with the giving of gold
is carefully outlined, particularly with reference to Gonda’s (1991: 6–8,
88–89) discovery of the need to conspicuously spend and lavish gold in
relation to marriage, before and after. The crucial impact of the different
degrees of hypergamy following Blunt’s (1931: 70) analysis among mod-
ern sociologists, Tambiah (1973a: 64) finds it ideologically critical to the
conception of marriage. This is particularly so when considering the sym-
bolic kanyadan—gift of the girl—since he believes this status superiority
is inherent in the gift of the dowry accompanying the “pure” gift of the
girl. If the most auspicious object of exchange, the girl “suitably bedecked”,
should be found wanting, then it is fatal. For the girl, a prospective family,
and in a wider sense: society itself. This is a cosmic concern for an ancient
society after all.
What becomes the fatal aspect of this auspiciousness is when the girl or
kanya, “suitably bedecked”, is perceived merely as the carrier of the gift or
dan of gold or cash and more in modern contexts and not as the one who
inherently possesses or carries over the auspiciousness in the body of her
person. What if the bedeckment is not suitable? Who decides the stand-
ards? For a much more detailed discussion on the degrees of difference in
the various regions of India, see Section 4.3. What is considered dan or
auspicious charity by the father of the bride (or indeed, whoever is conduct-
ing the kanyadan), unfortunately proves to be the starting point for more
monetary demands, sometimes resulting in what Indian newspapers refer
to as “dowry death”.
10
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
11
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
12
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
Figure 1.1 Conceptual Model: the three theories guiding this thesis.
13
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
14
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
terms, the prestigious ideal of the ancient Brahma form of marriage, where
the bride-bearers are meant to be the sole givers, “giving the gift of the
virgin and dowry as well as being an eternal source of gifts later on while
denying any reciprocal flow” (Saavala, 2010: 54) of wealth has to be fol-
lowed in order to achieve the correct status for a family. Love marriages
veritably transform the gift-giving model by putting it on its head, making
it appear instead like the opposite model of gift exchange, namely bride-
wealth. Saavala (2010: 54) makes the further observation that:
…in some cases of love marriage, the boy’s side might give to the
girls’ side thereby inverting the hierarchical model in which the
girl’s side is eternally “below” the receivers of the gifts. For exam-
ple, a young man received a car as a gift from his sister’s fiancé
before the wedding. Evidently he felt embarrassed by the fact and
when I asked about the origins of the vehicle, he explained that the
gift was from his sister. This kind of more reciprocal exchange in
marriage transactions leads to a new constellation that could pos-
sibly shake the established hierarchical and hypergamous model of
dowry and arranged marriage.
some people want to take [dowry], some people don’t take dowry.
We give as much as we possibly can. Whatever we have we give,
beyond our means we can’t give. We want our daughter to be in a
nice family background, so we have to give something.
15
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
And as Saavala (2010, 54) goes on to note, this peculiar rationale common
among upwardly mobile middle-class families in any Indian Hindu family:
if they can afford to pay dowry, they think it will secure a desirable
match for their daughter and reduce the possibility of her suffering
in the affinal home. In most middle-class peoples’ thinking, send-
ing your daughter to her husband’s family without money gold
and gifts would be asking for trouble.
(Emphasis added)
16
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
17
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
society in every sense, but still remain akin to a cultural specificity much
entrenched in a deep traditionality. It is this complex hypocrisy that adds to
and largely constitutes the depth of the problem.
Bourdieu’s (1984) classification of French society may be seen as deriv-
ative to the nature of the modern middle class in India today and is in
contrast to Liechty’s (2003) production-related classification.12 In terms of
a significantly more relevant casting of class, overtly as a culturally influ-
enced social process, this thesis understood the importance of relating the
morality of a small group to suit the majority of those who practise dowry
behaviour. In this sense, the study here reinvents the position of a class or
even a caste struggle based on Bourdieu’s more or less symbolic and some-
what status-guided formations. Class struggle, in a Marxist sense, may
appear an outmoded strategy for a community to busy itself with in an
attempt to gain and barter for better rank, but in Indian terms, it is relevant
here. This sort of tug-of-war between classes continues at ground level,
and the status-guided, position-seeking negotiated constantly during mar-
riage match-making fits here. Of particular concern here is the central fea-
ture of belonging to the middle class in the ongoing classification struggle
(Bourdieu, 1984): specifically how to restrict entry to others from the lower
strata into the higher one and crucially how to gain acceptance by one’s
status equals and superiors (Saavala, 2010: 12).13 This is relevant in terms
of dowry behaviour, in particular. Another typical feature of middle-class
morality noteworthy here is the high moral value attached to monetary
means, to practice morally higher standards, which links in also with mod-
ern-day, dowry-related behaviour.
Increasingly, the new middle class in India expresses their role in society
as “being modern” not as a reflection of being westernised but being indig-
enous. This new group in discussing modernity and its morality consider
it very much indigenous to their lives.14 Osella and Osella (2000), in their
observation of an upwardly mobile lower caste in Kerala, found a similar
pattern of behaviour and thought.
This brings us to the following discussion on the position of traditional
texts, and specifically how one can overlay ancient and medieval expec-
tations and thought processes onto a modern marriage market without
creating great discomfort among modern-day lawmakers, feminists and
interpreters of anthropological pasts. In search of a more comfortable and
proud modernity, modern dowry and related death rates clearly represent
a threat to the preoccupation with the golden age ideologue of the Hindu
Right. There has been an insistence on recasting the past, to make moder-
nity more acceptable than the westernised models left behind by colonial
law-making administrators.
18
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
Notes
1 See Miller (1966) for an illuminating discussion on the great and little traditions
in India. This is not the place for a deeper discussion of these aspects of the
great and little traditions in the context of Indian communities.
2 See, for instance, Marriot (1955); Hutton (1961); Karve (1965); Dumont
(1966); Tambiah (1973); Inden (1976); Madan (1975, 1987, 1989); Raheja
(1988); Fruzetti (1990); Saavala (2010).
3 For a more expansive discussion on Srinivas’s viewpoint, see Section 4.1, deal-
ing with the problem of defining dowry accurately.
4 Gupta is not the first to examine and analyse Vedic mythology in terms of
a preoccupation with materialism and amassing wealth through ritual; clear
arguments in this regard were previously presented by Edwards (1924) The
Philosophy of Religion; also noteworthy is Huxley’s (1957) Religion without
Revelation. But see also Shastri (1957), Lefever (1935).
5 See in detail Chapter 4, particularly Section 4.4 and the discussion on trad-
ing wealth for prestige and status. The plural nature of these practices is also
overtly noted in the latter and must be respected within the context of these
discussions at all times.
6 Marcel Mauss’s study, although released in French between 1923 and 1924,
became more widely translated and available to academics and others in 1950.
Therefore, in reference to the conceptual idea, this date is used in the thesis.
In the discussion of gift theory in this thesis, two versions or translations of
Mauss are used. However, a more recent reading is relevant for a much changed
world. Interestingly, the very title is translated variously. Halls’s (1990) version
uses the phrase “form and reason for exchange” as opposed to the previous
translation “form and function”. This represents the shift in focus of our soci-
ety from a more functional to one that attempts explanations, perhaps?
7 See Lipner (1994: 25–165) for an explanation of how “the Veda” functions as
“scripture” and notably for the present purpose for the relevance of caste and
narrative (108–145), also a discussion on the part folklore plays in the wider
social network in India in the context of the growth of intellectual power of an
entire group (146–164).
8 Although the proportion of love marriages or free choice marriages in India is
growing, the trend leans in favour of arranged-cum-love marriages. An inter-
esting study highlighting the “doomed” nature of young romances outside the
purview of parental control worth a mention here is Osella and Osella (1998),
who found that often young couples who had established or entered into
romantic affairs commonly expressed the “hopelessness” of their situation.
9 See Ye Aag kab Bujhegi (1991) as one example of dowry-related troubles being
reflected in popular Hindu cinema. More recent references in popular culture
are abundant, of course.
10 Such scenarios are not unique to the British Sikh community, but are more
widespread, and as yet under-researched.
11 The part played by the daily praxis of middle-class groups in various other
parts of Asia was scrutinised with due attention paid to the transformative
role of social behaviour (See Osella and Osella, 2000; Liechty, 2003; among
others). What Saavala’s (2010) study does is synthesises the socio-cultural pro-
cesses at play in Indian and Asian middle-class groups by exploring how these
are interrelated and how they reflect cultural specificity.
19
Dowry and fatal auspiciousness
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