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7. Have I any knowledge of the world? Have I studied men (as
well as books) and observed their tempers, maxims and manners?
Have I learned, to beware of men? To add the wisdom of the serpent
to the innocence of the dove? Has God given me by nature, or have
I acquired, any measure of the discernment of spirits? Or of its near
ally, prudence, enabling me on all occasions to consider all
circumstances, and to suit and vary my behaviour according to the
various combinations of them? Do I labour never to be rude or ill-
mannered? Not to be remarkably wanting in good-breeding? Do I
endeavour to copy after those who are eminent for address and
easiness of behaviour? Am I (tho’ never light or trifling, either in word
or action, yet) affable and courteous to all men? And do I omit no
means which is in my power, and consistent with my character, of
pleasing all men with whom I converse, for their good, to edification?
If I am wanting even in these lowest endowments, shall I not
frequently regret the want? How often shall I move heavily, and be
far less useful than I might have been? How much more shall I suffer
in my usefulness, if I have wasted the opportunities I once had of
acquainting myself with the great lights of antiquity, the Antenicene
fathers? Or if I have droned away those precious hours, wherein I
might have made myself master of the sciences? How poorly must I
many times drag on, for want of the helps which I have vilely cast
away? But is not my case still worse, if I have loitered away the time
wherein I should have perfected myself in Greek and Hebrew? I
might before this have been critically acquainted with the treasuries
of sacred knowledge. But they are now hid from my eyes; they are
close locked up, and I have no key to open them. However, have I
used all possible diligence to supply that grievous defect, (so far as it
can be supplied now) by the most accurate knowledge of the English
scriptures? Do I meditate therein day and night? Do I think (and
consequently speak) thereof, when I sit in the house, and when I
walk by the way; when I lie down, and when I rise up? By this means
have I at length attained a thorough knowledge as of the sacred text,
so of its literal and spiritual meaning? Otherwise how can I attempt to
instruct others therein? Without this, I am a blind guide indeed! I am
absolutely incapable of teaching my flock, what I have never learned
myself: no more fit to lead souls to God, than I am to govern the
world.
If preferment, or honour, or profit was in his eye, his eye was not
single. And our Lord knew no medium between a single and an evil
eye. The eye therefore which is not single is evil. It is a plain,
adjudged case. He then that has any other design in undertaking or
executing the office of a minister, than purely this, to glorify God and
save souls, his eye is not single. Of consequence, it is evil; and
therefore his whole body must be full of darkness. The light which is
in him is very darkness: darkness covers his whole soul: he has no
solid peace: he has no blessing from God: And there is no fruit of his
labours.
*It is pleaded indeed, That “a small living will not maintain a large
family.” Maintain? How? It will not cloath them in purple and fine
linen; nor enable them to fare sumptuously every day. But will not
the living you have now, afford you and yours the plain necessaries,
yea and conveniencies of life? Will it not maintain you in the frugal,
Christian simplicity, which becomes a minister of Christ? It will not
maintain you in pomp and grandeur, in elegant luxury, in fashionable
sensuality. So much the better. If your eyes were open, whatever
your income was, you would flee from these as from hell-fire.
It has been pleaded, secondly, “by having a larger income, I am
able to do more good.” But dare you aver, in the presence of God,
that it was singly with this view, only for this end, that you sought a
larger income? If not, you are still condemned before God; your eye
was not single. Do not therefore quibble and evade. This was not
your motive of acting. It was not the desire of doing more good,
whether to the souls or bodies of men, it was not the love of God;
(you know it was not, your own conscience is as a thousand
witnesses) but it was the love of money, and the desire of other
things, which animated you in this pursuit. If then the word of God is
true, you are in darkness still: It fills and covers your soul.
But what can be pleaded for those who have two or more flocks,
and take care of none of them? Who just look at them now and then
for a few days, and then remove to a convenient distance, and say,
soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease;
eat, drink, and be merry?
*Some years ago I was asking a plain man, “Ought not he who
feeds the flock, to eat of the milk of the flock?” He answered, “Friend,
I have no objection to that. But what is that to him who does not feed
the flock? He stands on the far side of the hedge, and feeds himself.
It is another who feeds the flock. And ought he to have the milk of
the flock? What canst thou say for him? Truly, nothing at all. And he
will have nothing to say for himself, when the great Shepherd shall
pronounce that just sentence, bind the unprofitable servant hand and
foot, and cast him into outer darkness.”
At least, do I feel such a concern for the glory of God, and such a
thirst after the salvation of men, that I am ready to do any thing,
however contrary to my natural inclination, to part with any thing,
however agreeable to me, to suffer any thing, however grievous to
flesh and blood, so I may save one soul from hell? Is this my ruling
temper at all times and in all places? Does it make all my labour
light? If not what a weariness is it? What a drudgery? Had I not far
better hold the plough?
JOHN WESLEY.
London,
February 6, 1756.
A short A C C O U N T
O F T H E D E AT H O F
T H O M A S H I T C H E N S.
Bisveal, near Redruth, Cornwall.
“In reading the three first chapters of St. John, while I was in
much trouble and heaviness of soul, the Lord gave me great comfort;
especially from these words, To as many as believe in his name, to
them gave he power to become the sons of God. But soon after I
was stript of all, as though God had left me, a final cast-away.
Nevertheless I went into my closet, and with a heavy heart said,
Lord, I praise thee, that thou hast not given me over unto death. But
how shall I appear before thee? While I spoke, the Lord answered,
and applied these words, I am thy righteousness; which burst the
cords that before kept my spirit down.”
8. In the latter part of his life he was much grown in grace and in
the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. He sometimes saw, as he
said, anger and pride in himself; but they had no power: neither had
the love or desire of any creature; they were all in subjection under
his feet. He was more and more dead to all earthly things, and filled
with the fire of God’s love. The work of God had a deeper root in his
heart and he was more settled and established in the grace of God.
9. After his brother’s death, he declared he could not rest through
the earnestness of his desire to follow him. However in the mean
time he put in practice what Samuel spoke of, namely meeting all the
family once a week. He reproved me and his mother in several
things; but we could not reprove him in any. I could not convince him
or Samuel of sin, for two years or more.
11. On Thursday evening, between nine and ten, his sister sitting
by him said, “Lord, shall I call, and wilt thou not answer? No; it
cannot be. Thou hast promised every one that asks in faith shall
receive.” Then he began praying for his father and mother; for his
brothers and sisters, and in particular for her that sat by him. “O my
God marry her to thyself, make her all glorious within. Give her an
undivided heart.” He then prayed for himself. “Now come O my God,
and sanctify me wholly. Press me closer to thyself. Thou knowest,
this is all my desire. Give me power to declare thy wonderous works
before I go hence. O death where is thy sting? O grave where is thy
victory?”
12. As Mary Busvine came to the bedside he looked on her and
said, “Now I am free. Now my heart is at liberty. I will praise my God
as long as I have breath.” After speaking much to the same effect,
he laid still a small time, and then broke out into exceeding loud,
vehement prayer, his voice being quite altered and every sentence
♦ pronounced with uncommon emphasis. He prayed first for all
estates and conditions of men; that the church of Christ might spread
over all the nations, that ten thousand times ten thousand might be
converted to God, and all the people of the earth praise him. Then
he prayed for all ministers of the gospel, from the greatest even to
the least; especially for those whom God had lately employed to
seek and save those that were lost in Cornwall. Afterwards he
prayed for John Trembath that he might live to the glory of God, who
had brought him back from the gates of death, and might be a
means of saving many souls from the bitter pains of eternal death.
He then prayed for the society: “O Lord unite them as the heart of
one man. O Lord, give them eyes to see whereinsoever they have
departed from thee. O take from them the spirit of unthankfulness,
and suffer them not to bite or devour one another. Heal thou their
backslidings and spread over them the banner of thy love!”
15. He ceased not thus praying and praising for an hour. His
parents then coming in (early on Friday morning) he said, “O my
mother, you will not weep to see me going to such a loving God. My
father and mother will not be backsliders. No; I know that God loves
them, and that we shall all meet together in heaven, to praise him to
all eternity.” Then looking on his brother, about twelve years old, he
said, “Stand off, for fear you catch the distemper: for I fear you are
not prepared to die, you have played away the grace of God. The
harvest may come, before you are renewed in the image of God, and
then how will you appear? Cry mightily to God. Strive with all your
might. Call upon him, and God will hear.”