Year 9 Commedia. Scene 1.

Pantalone enters along the street and pauses for a moment.

As he does so Pulcinella appears upstage between the
houses, sees Pantalone and begins to mimic him.
Pantalone: (looks left) All clear that way. …
(looks right) All clear that way. Now then (quiet chuckle)
Where are you my little purse of loveliness.? (Searches for
his purse. Find attached to his belt.)
There you are. Right. (Quick check left and right before he
tips the contents into one hand and begins counting with the
other.)
One, two, three. …
Pulcinella moves quickly behind him unseen and takes each
coin before he drops it into his purse.

… four, five, six, seven. There we are. Good. (pause) I’ll just
check again.

Relishing the thought, he repeats the process with Pulcinella

taking the remaining three coins. He removes the empty bag
from his belt. Shakes it. Turns it inside out. Peers onto the
ground with Pulcinella following his movements and still
concealed behind him.
That’s odd. Very odd (searching again)
This is looking bad, very bad. In fact, I think, I think, I
know … (mouthing)
I’ve been robbed. (slow scuttle to the other side of the
street)
Robbed (aloud)
I’ve been robbed.
He repeats this, his voice getting louder and more and more
agitated. Pulcinella mimics him, scuttling in the opposite
direction back and forth until they meet face to face.
Pulcinella Pantalone
Pantolone Pulcinella
Pulcinella Whay you looking at me like that like me?
Pantalone: Like what?
Pulcinella: (mimicking him) Like that?
Pantalone: Because.
Pulcinella: Yess?
Pantalone: (nearly busting a gut) Because!!
Pulcinella: Yesss?!!
Pantalone: I’ve been robbed!!
Pulcinella: (very silly) Ohhh.
Both stand staring at each other. Very still. Suddenly
Pulcinella darts back and forth up and down the street
shouting…
Pulcinella: He been robbed.
Year 9 Commedia. Scene 2.
Arlecchino appears and confronts Pulcinella
Arlecchino: Whassamarra?
Pulcinella: He been robbed
Arlecchino: Who been robbed?
Pulcinella: He been robbed!
Arlecchino: Why you shouting then?
Pulcinella: He been robbed!
Arlecchino: Why you shouting if he been robbed and give me
headhurt. He should be shouting if he been robbed an’ you
should be shouting if you been robbed. You give me
headhurt so shut your trap!
Pulcinella: (mouthing) He been robbed!
Arlecchino: How you know?
Pulcinella: I know.
Arlecchino: How you know?
Pulcinella: I do
Arlecchino: How?
Pulcinella: Because.
Arlecchino: How because?
Pulcinella: Because I did it.
Arlecchino: Oh.
Silence and stillness for, say, six seconds. Then suddenly …
Both: He been robbed!
Both have a quick dart to the opposite ends of the street
shouting ‘He been robbed!’ And end up facing each other.
Pulcinella: What am I going to do if Pantalone finds out?
Arlecchino: That you rob him?
Pulcinella: Yeah.
Arlecchino: No problem.
Pulcinella: Yeah?
Arlecchino: You don’t tell him.
Pulcinella: Yeah. (so that Pantalone can hear) He been robbed!
Arlecchino: You tell me
Pulcinella: I already did
Arlecchino: I don’t tell Pantalone.
Pulcinella: (suspiciously) You don’t?
Arlecchino: No
Pulcinella: No?
Arlecchino: No. I you friend.
Pulcinella: (surprised) You is?
Arlecchino: Yeah
Pulcinella: In that case (for the benefit of Pantalone) He been robbed
(a huge hug in which Arlecchino spots the stolen money)
Arlecchino ..
Arlecchino: Pulcinella. (Silence and stillness for, say, six seconds.)
How you do it?
Pulcinella offers another huge hug which Arlecchino accepts
and then quickly pushes him away
Arlecchino: No, how you steal the money?
Pulcinella: Easy!
Arlecchino: How easy?
Pulcinella: Like this easy. (goes into the quick action replay of the
theft) He stand like this and I stand like this very close and he count
his money like this and I put my hand like this and he like this and then
like this I like this like this like this .. and there the money (so that
Pantalone can hear ) He been robbed!
Pulcinella: No
Arlecchino: This?
Pulcinella: No! I show you. You be Pantalone, I be me
Arlecchino: No good
Pulcinella: Why no good?
Arlecchino: I in front of you when you show. I no see you with my
back closed.
Pulcinella: Oh
Arlecchino: You be Pantalone, I be you, then I see you cleverness
at rob him
Pulcinella: Yeah (so that Pantalone can hear) He been robbed!
(Pulcinella instantly sets up the thieving sequence and
quickly re-enacts it with Arlecchino stealing the money in
the same way from Pantalone. Pantalone appears unnoticed
but only gradually twigs what scene is being re-enacted)
Pantalone start counting his money like this (does so) I put
my hand here.
Arlecchino: Like this?
Pulcinella: Yeah. Then he count second time …
Arlecchino: I keep my hand like this?
Pulcinella: Yeah. Then he look and say ‘I been robbed!’
Arlecchino: Very clever. (pause) If he catch you…
Pulcinella: He won’t, you say so.
Arlecchino: If he do, tell him Flavio told you to do it.
Pulcinella: Flavio, his son?
Arlecchino: Flavio told you to do it.
Pulcinella: Flavio told you to do it.
Arlecchino: Yeh.
Pulcinella: Yeh
Arlecchino: I gotta go.
He does so with the money, passing Pantalone and clumsily?
Shaking his hand as he does so.
Pulcinella: Yeh. You gotta go. (laughs) Flavio told you to do it! He been
robbed!
Huge burst of laughter and then an even bigger double-take
as he feels for his absent purse.
I been robbed!
Tears across the stage and bumps into the approaching
Pantalone who traps him with his stick.
Pantalone: You imbecile!
Pulcinella: No! I been robbed!
Pantalone: I saw.
Pulcinella: You did?
Pantalone: I know who robbed you…
Pulcinella: You do?!
Pantalone: And who robbed me.
Pulcinella: You know two thieves in one robber?
Pantalone: I do. You! And now I’m going to batter you.
Pulcinella: Yeh! What??!!!
Pantalone: You will never be the same again.
Pulcinella: Okay.
He bends his body to prepare for his beating and then stops
as he sees Arlecchino enter and stand unseen behind
Pantalone mouthing the word ‘Flavio’.
Pulcinella: He told me to do it.
Pantalone: Flavio told you to steal money from me?
Pulcinella: Him. He say…’you steal money from my old crabhead,
grizzle-gob father…idot lice!’ You.
Pantalone: Flavio told you that? You, you lying, thieving little slug!
Pulcinella: Yeh.
Pantalone: (mock smile, quietly) Then I won’t batter you.
Pulcinella: (grotesque grin) Yeh. Course not.
Pantalone: (even quieter) I’ll kill you.
Pulcinella: (even more grotesque grin) Yeh. Course.
Pantalone: Now.
Pulcinella: Yeh, great, kill, now…
• Pantalone lifts his stick to clatter Pulcinella’s head.
• As he does so Arlecchino flicks a coin in front of Pantalone.
• Pantalone stops mid-strike.
• Pulcinella sees the raised stick and cringes preparing for the blow
as Pantalone ignores him and picks up the coin.
• Arlecchino intercepting it on its way to Pantalone’s pocket.
• Pulcinella takes this opportunity to escape and runs off.
• Pantalone sees him too late but is distracted once again as
Arlecchino flicks the coin ahead of him, intercepting it and
repeating until Pantalone is offstage.