I want to touch the warmth of your body, And feel the heat of your skin.

I want to be the only one That satisfies you... The one to wet the sheets on your bed, I want you, To feel my seduction and my passion To leave the prints of my burning fire Within your soul...

Dreams are the involuntary conjuring up of images, sounds, ideas and feelings as well as other sensations during sleep. Dream imagery is usually fanciful and not realistic and they are generally outside the control of the dreamer, with the exception of Lucid Dreaming. Dreamers are usually participants in their dreams and the dreams will seem very real while asleep. In the last decade, with advancements in imaging techniques such as MRI our understanding of dreams has progressed. For the first time we are able to see inside the sleeping brain and clearly see which areas of the brain are active during dream sleep. Observations in the sleep lab have shown that dreaming is associated with REM sleep . Scientists now also know that the brain does not switch off when we sleep, it is actually re-awakened when we enter dream sleep. There is a difference between the sleeping and awake brain however. Only select parts of the brain are woken and are involved in dreaming. Scientists also now know that dreaming primarily occurs in the limbic region of the brain or the area that deals with emotion. Thus we seem to have an explanation for the highly emotional nature of dreams. In the light of these new advancements recent research has produced several theories that could explain why dreams happen: 1. Continual-activation theory This theory proposes that dreaming is a result of brain activity and synthesis and that dreaming and REM sleep are not one in the same but are controlled by different parts of the brain. 2. Researcher Eugen Tarnow believes that dreams are excitations of long term memory and that dreams take on the bizarre nature because of the format of long term memory. 3. A study in 2001 showed that dreaming is involved with strengthening semantic memories. 4. A research psychologist Joe Griffin in the UK has postulated the expectation

fulfillment theory of dreaming. According to this theory there are three principles of dreaming. i) dreams are metaphorical interpretations of waking expectations. ii) Expectations that produce emotional responses that are not acted upon during the day become dreams during sleep. iii) Dreaming is a way of dealing with emotional arousal by completing the expectations in our dreams that we did not complete when awake and thereby freeing our brain to respond afresh to each new day. These are a few of the many theories that attempt to answer the question "what makes dreams happen" and no theory has to this day been proven.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions
1 Look over everything that has to be completed before you start. For things like homework, classwork, a job, etc you should assess all the things that needs to be down. 2 Now make a thorough outline of all the things that you need to do. This will keep you on the right track for doing your work and not make your repeat any steps. 3 If you have to use materials for your work, make sure they are the best or close to it. Do not go for cheap items because you may have to repair it or get another one. You will not regret paying for good materials because they can help you get your work done faster. 4 Now that you have your plan laid out, make sure you stick to it unless it is absolutely needed to. If your plan is good you should stay with it but there are some issues or problems that may arise. You should think about these problems that come up and find a way to solve it. 5 If you are working with a team make sure everyone is up to date and know what

they are doing. If you know your workers well you can make the fast workers do task that take long and skilled workers work on difficult jobs. This will make work much more efficient. 6 Make sure you present and finish the job very strong. You have worked hard for a long time and you may be tired and sleepy but you must keep that last impression strong. If it is a paper, make sure you revise and reread the paper so there are no mistakes.

10 Ways to Control Fear

by Brad Isaac on February 27, 2006 In setting goals and working toward their achievements, you may find yourself facing a fear of something you cant seem to get rid of. Here are ten ways you can control fear and put it behind you. 1. Take baby steps no need to face your fear of snake wrangling by thrusting your hand into a Copperheads nest. Start out by getting a book on the subject, talk to an expert, and get as much information on the subject as possible. The more you read and learn about a subject, the less fear. 2. Jump in headfirst Maybe its better for you to go on a bridge burning expedition. Like a swimmer, who doesnt like getting cold slowly by wading into the pool slowly, you simply run up the high dive and jump off. This is inadvisable for snake wrangling, but if you applied it for public speaking, going to a job interview or learning to ride a bike for the first time, Im sure youll live. 3. Use self-talk Here you would apply a personal mantra or saying that makes you feel more confident. Brian Tracey suggests using repeating I like myself, I like myself before a fearful task such as public speaking. Personally, I use I can do this! as my confidence builder. 4. Get the advice of someone who has done it One of the cool websites that might help is 43 Things. People on that site have conquered just about every fear or trouble you could possibly think of. And they make themselves available to help you get over your fears too. A coach is a good idea too 5. Learn more about your fear research can give understanding and control over a dark overwhelming fear. Buy a book or three about how to overcome your worry. For example, several studies show people can fear public speaking more than they fear death. Yet there are libraries worth of books, audio and video programs that show you how to get over the fear and speak before audiences. I am sure if you can give a name to your fear; someone else has overcome it and written a book.

6. Use progressive exposure coupled with relaxation this is good for people who fear flying. Ive had friends who were so afraid of flying on planes simply driving to the airport made them physically ill. Progressive exposure starts with a safe environment where you can relax and think of the fear. As the worry or anxiety increases, relaxation is used to counteract it. Over a short period of time, you increase your exposure until you finally face the fear itself. 7. Find humor If you do not take actions on your personal goals because you fear failing and having people laugh and throw pies, tomatoes or Chinese Egg Foo Yung with gravy and chopsticks, then there is hope for you. Imagine yourself failing miserably and people hyperventilating from the laughter. Imagine blundering and knocking over a table or your pants somehow falling down. Make it ridiculous and funny. Fact is the people who care about you wont laugh at your failure, even if you are wearing a lampshade on your head. The people who do laugh at sincere effort are usually not that bright anyway, so who cares? 8. Whats the worst that can happen? Face the worst. Take some time to think through the worst outcome you can imagine and write it down. Not only does admitting your greatest fear decrease the impact of it, writing it down makes your mind look at it more analytically. 9. Write up a pros and cons sheet Take out a sheet of paper and write your fear at the top. Then, draw a line down the center of the page. Head the left side Pros head the Right side Cons. Write down all the pros to you for holding on to your fear and then write down all the cons of continuing with it. Is the cons list longer? Time to get to work. 10. Breathing exercises much of the panic and apprehension you can feel simply comes from shallow breathing or hyperventilating. I see this a lot in the green rooms before someone is getting ready to go on stage. Close your eyes, take deep breaths from the diaphragm. The way you know you are breathing from the diaphragm is your stomach should move in and out, not your chest. Slow down your breathing by counting your inhalations and exhalations.

Fear, anxiety are controllable. Panic, worry, fright can be rid of. Knowing what are, how work, fear, anxiety, helps solve problems, control fear and anxiety. Anxiety and fear causes crisis. One must understand fear and anxiety, how fear and anxiety work, to control anxiety, manage fear. Can be overcome anxiety and fear. Managing fear, overcoming anxiety can be without expensive books, courses. Overcoming childrens fears, anxieties, controlling, managing adult fear and anxiety is possible. Here is, whether in child or adult, how to control, manage, overcome fear and anxiety. Fear and anxiety, being afraid and anxious, begin when we are, or feel, vulnerable. We experience uneasiness and concern which frightens, makes fearful. This causes timidity, and timidity gives rise to a state of alarm which sometimes involves such hesitation that

shrinks us from dealing with a matter or situation that needs to be resolved. The pain and emotion, the tension and stress of fear and anxiety is accompanied by a feeling of helplessness which is negative thought which so affects the functioning of the nervous system in dealing with fear and anxiety. Fright, fear, anxiety, can cause crises, neurosis; the dread, terror, horror of phobia is fear. Worrying, most worries, are fear; but, often, we cant cope with worry. Positive thinking helps but is not coping with fear, controlling fear, dealing with worry; to control fear, anxiety, we must know how fear and anxiety work. Fear and anxiety effect automatically. Our autonomic nervous system regulates how body organs work. Chiefly a part of the autonomic nervous system, called sympathetic, automatically interacts with our mind when we worry, experience anxiety, fear. When fear is felt the mind signals a threat, danger, or emergency physically (e.g. a hand raised in anger) or psychologically (e.g. distrust); the sympathetic nervous system immediately comes into action to help protect or defend ourselves to our best possible advantage. Suddenly automatically we breath more oxygen which, with cyclic biochemical reactions, energises our electron transport chain and synthesises with other substances in our body, upon that fear signal. This synthesising upon that fear signal urgently turns on electrical impulses which fire from cell to cell at very high speeds communicating that fear to the control centre in the brain. In our fear and anxiety, the brain instantly issues commands to the organs to take action. Our organs immediately divert and concentrate energies from other organs to those relevant to our fear and anxiety. The pupils of our eyes grow bigger to see better, the blood vessels expand to more and faster supply, to enable our muscles to react. In aid of that the body produces adrenaline to enhance alertness and our actions for flight or fight, as our values dictate, and as we feel directed by our fear, anxiety. Anxiety and fear are not cured by medication. Drugs only help coping with worry; only help cope with fear or anxiety. It is generally agreed by expert that if we know how to, we can better control fear, manage anxiety. Panic confuses and causes worry; but, except for phobias (when one must consult a doctor), it isnt complicated to manage fear, control anxiety. Adult fear and anxiety is mostly due to problems; e.g., worry over debt, disapproval, separation, failure. Children have no adult problems; child fear or anxiety is feeling inadequate about the frightening unknown. Adults cope with both, whether it is fear or anxiety arising from adult problems or child fear and anxiety over inability to protect or defend as adults can. In child fear control, managing child fear and anxiety it often suffices to ensure an I am protected feeling for the child. A childs fear, e.g., of the dark is over anxiety that something may go wrong or be hurtful; e.g. a dim light helps ease that fear, anxiety, but the child needs assurance that you are nearby and can protect from or defend against what

is causing the childs fear and anxiety. If fear of the unknown is, e.g., anxiety over a new environment, accompany the child until it is realised that there is nothing to fear. In adults fear and anxiety does not go away because of their being fear and anxiety with good reason. Adult fear and anxiety involve not unreasonable worry but possible significant consequences. But an adult can control worry, even overcome fear, anxiety. Coping with, overcoming fear and anxiety begins with realising that problems are solvable, consequences avoidable. This enables to cope with fear and anxiety. Adults suffer fear and anxiety for two reasons. They do not know how to solve the problem; and, it never occurs to most to find out because panic causes confusion. Panic prevents rational thinking, they can not think how to, e.g., reason arguments, acceptably put a hurt right; they, e.g., forget or never find out that an offer to pay by instalments may not be lawfully refused. The problem seems unsolvable, panic becomes fear, anxiety; worry makes fear worse. Anxiety and fear often result from failure to clearly identify the problem. That is the cause of panic, a problems becoming worse, of the fear and anxiety. Problem solving involves rational though, and that necessitates calmness. If angry, do count to ten. Avoiding panic is avoiding fear and anxiety. If feeling panicky, take a deep breath: inhale, hold it to the count of three, exhale slowly; this is regarded as regulating oxygen intake and avoiding the above-mentioned body functions and chemical reactions which substitute to normal body and mind functions the limited, concentrated, emergency, urgent functioning. You will feel less urgency, less rushed, less panicky and less likely to suffer fear and anxiety. Similarly easy it becomes then to replace the reduced likelihood of fear, anxiety with rational thought. One only needs to know how to do so. One cannot apply rational thought to a problem if one is confused. The panic was due to not knowing what to do, confusion. One needs to clear ones head in order to think and substitute to avoided panic, and reduced fear and anxiety, rational thought. Ones bodily functions and mental functions interact. Adrenaline enhances what the brain signals. If it signals an emergency, it enhances urgency; if it signals calm though, then it enhances that. This is the basis of positive thinking. Such automatic biological, electrochemical, functioning of the nervous system enhances mental functions, confusion is rid of. Then can be clearly seen the problem and properly explored the ways of solving it without panic worsening it, causing fear and anxiety. Then you can identify your fear. What is it that you fear, why? What part or parts of the problem is it that is causing you the worry, the anxiety, the fear? Think of what exactly it is you fear, are afraid of. Know your enemy to easier mange anxiety, overcome fear. One can learn to control ones fear and, in the verses of Orhan Seyfi Ari in his Mystic

Man (translated), one can enjoy the feeling that Neither anxiety has he, nor fear, The Worlds like a rubber ball under his feet rather, The Sun in one hand, and the Moon in the other. Calmness helps solution, managing fear and anxiety.

Worry A simple way to interrupt a self defeating pattern is to learn how to manage your fear. Fear is the basis of worry. Fear in the moment can be a life saving, warning signal that you are in imminent danger, such as your response to a fire in your home. Your initial fear response to learning that you have cancer is helpful because it makes you take it seriously and take immediate action to try to get rid of it, however, fear becomes a problem when we bring it into the future in the form of worry. Thinking about the future and making a plan of action for your goals is good problem-solving. Thinking about all the possible ways that things can go wrong is counter productive, worry. How We Are Glued Together Our emotions such as fear, anger, sadness and joy, are a physical response to our thoughts. Our mental interpretation of a situation will determine how you will feel about it. If a good friend moves away, and you tell yourself you are going to miss that person, you will feel sad and your body will want/need to discharge that sadness through tears. Your tears keep you from wasting precious energy to repress the feelings and from having tight, painful muscles from holding the feelings. Now, I am not suggesting that you can spare yourself from feeling sad by lying to yourself, but if you continue to only tell yourself you are going to miss her, instead of also telling yourself you can e-mail, talk on the phone, visit each other and make new friends, you will continue to only generate sadness instead of also feeling joy and peace. Dont Be Hard On Yourself I want to caution you to not be too hard on yourself for your tendency to have fear-based, negative thoughts. It is how we, as human beings, are wired. Our most important function is to survive, so fear is very instinctive. We dont need to be happy to survive, but we do use fear to keep us focused on surviving. The problem is that we can get into a bad pattern of thinking and acting like survival is always the situation at hand, when, in fact, it is the exception, even with breast cancer. Minimize Your Vulnerability and Loss of Control Fear-based worry is most likely to occur when we are most vulnerable and have the least amount of control over the situation. Knowing this suggests that we can keep our level of fear/worry to a minimum by finding ways to take control over the situation. As often

said, knowledge is power. The more you learn the facts about your type of breast cancer, the stage of your disease, treatment options and outcomes, and how much flexibility there is in how and when you receive your treatment, the more you will find ways to take back control of your life. It is amazing how empowering it can be to know we have asserted ourself in, at least, a small detail of our treatment plan. Too often, women in our culture, especially middle-aged and senior women, still have a difficult time identifying their needs and asking for them. Something as small as requesting a quieter chemotherapy room, or even a blanket, can make a big difference in our comfort level and sense of control. This is a prime opportunity to decide you have intrinsic worth as a person, instead of playing out the old script of unworthiness. The staff is getting paid to serve you. If you werent their patient, they wouldnt have a job, so validate their professionalism by making your needs be known. It is a lot better than worrying if the room is going to be too cold at your next chemo treatment and if you will be able to endure it. Adding Control Besides for what happens with your medical providers, there are many other areas where you can refocus on the present to give you more control over your life. Attending to the details by getting organized with lists, a doctor appointment calendar, a weekly supper menu and pre-cooked meals for the freezer, make such a difference in creating a sense of control. I have often been reminded how structure provides freedom when I return to more organization. It is such a relief to know that I have supper figured out and the meat is already cooked and stored in the freezer. Each week I buy a meat that is on sale, such as chicken breasts or pork chops and cook them while I am putting away the rest of the groceries. I individually wrap each piece of meat and freeze it. When I first started this approach it took me about 6-8 weeks to get set up by adding a different kind of meat each week, but now I have a variety to pick from. If your friends ask how they can help, ask them to bake or broil and freeze your meat for you. Stabilizing Your Mood It is not uncommon for cancer patients to feel moody. You may not have a full blown depression, but find yourself irritable and short tempered. If your doctor has made an assessment of your level of depression and has determined that you are experiencing a major depressive episode (biochemically based depression) it will need to be treated with an antidepressant. Individual therapy and support groups are excellent ways of helping you cope, but treating a chemical imbalance with only talk therapy is like treating streph throat with talking when an antibiotic is needed; it can actually make you feel worse. Gaining insight and getting suggestions from therapy, but not being able to follow through when you know what you are supposed to do, can make you feel more despairing and depressed. If you are just moody, exercise and diet can help your body make more mood neurotransmitters to prevent a full blown depression. Exercise can be helpful for your overall sense of well being even if you are battling fatigue, but you will need to listen to your body and rest in addition to the exercise. Dont overdo it, just try to get your heart and lungs moving to stimulate a healthy metabolic response and reduce your muscular tension and pain. Try to go for healthier food choices such as fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meat, nuts, whole grains and avoid processed foods. Carbohydrates, like

sugar and refined white floor will reduce your energy, but healthier carbohydrates like fresh fruit will be calming. Protein like lean meat will energize you and improve your concentration, but salty processed meats can cause fluid retention and lead to muscle cramps. If you are trying to get off of sugar, you need to know that during the first two weeks you will experience an increase in carbo cravings, but then your cravings will go away. If you want to really get gung-ho about changing your diet, check with the American Cancer Society for their cancer preventing dietary suggestions. Panic after Treatment It is extremely common to feel like you are sailing along okay during your treatment time, but to feel a sudden panic when the treatment is over. Having something to do to get rid of your cancer makes you feel more in control. When that is over, it can feel like you are a sitting duck just waiting for it to return, with nothing to do about it. This is the time to work hard at staying in the present. We are not our mind, we have minds to use to our liking. Obsessing or worrying is a choice and so is not obsessing or worrying. You get to decide what you want to think about. It wont work to merely tell yourself not to think about something. While you are awake, your mind is always going to be active, so if you try to not think about something, it will just pop right back. To shift your thinking you have to consciously replace one thought with another. If you start to relive a memory of what it was like to go through treatment and dread doing it again if the cancer comes back, you can decide it is not in your best interest to keep that type of thing going. You can decide to use your mind for something else, like planning the weeks menu or your next vacation. Decide to use your mind to read an entertaining book or recall a fun memory you have of being with someone special. There are endless, positive things we can decide to think about. You also can break the negative cycle by simply picturing something neutral like an apple. See yourself touching, tasting, smelling and biting the apple to hear the crunch. Several years ago, when I went through a period of negative, worrisome thinking, I trained myself to quickly see the smiley face that my daughter had when she was a baby. I still use her face or picture the smiley face of a pansy, my favorite flower, when I find myself obsessing about something. There are so many things we have no control over and it is easy to feel fearful and powerless if we dont remember to stay in the present and manage what is right in front of us. Turning our worries over to God/fate and redirecting to what we can control is the best we can do. Luckily, when we do that, it seems to work out quite well.

What is Fear?
According to Buddhism, there is unhealthy fear and healthy fear. According to Buddhism, there is unhealthy fear and healthy fear. For example, when we are afraid of something that cannot actually harm us such as spiders or something we can do nothing to avoid such as old age or being struck down with smallpox or being run over by a truck then our fear is unhealthy, for it serves only to make us unhappy

and paralyse our will. On the other hand, when someone gives up smoking because they are afraid of developing lung cancer, this is a healthy fear because the danger is real and there are constructive steps they can take to avoid it.

Root of Fear
We have many fears-fear of terrorism, fear of death, fear of being separated from people we love, fear of losing control, fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of losing our job, the list is never-ending! Many of our present fears are rooted in what Buddha identified as delusions distorted ways of looking at ourself and the world around us. If we learn to control our mind, and reduce and eventually eliminate these delusions, the source of all our fear, healthy and unhealthy, is eradicated. If we learn to control our mind. the source of all our fear, healthy and unhealthy, is eradicated.

Healthy Fear
However, right now we need the healthy fear that arises from taking stock of our present situation so that we can resolve to do something about it. For example, there is no point in a smoker being scared of dying of lung cancer unless there is something that he or she can or will do about it, i.e. stop smoking. If a smoker has a sufficient fear of dying of lung cancer, he or she will take steps to kick the habit. If he prefers to ignore the danger of lung cancer, he will continue to create the causes of future suffering, living in denial and effectively giving up control. Just a smoker is vulnerable to lung cancer due to cigarettes, it is true that at the moment we are vulnerable to danger and harm, we are vulnerable to ageing, sickness, and eventually death, all due to our being trapped in samsara-the state of uncontrolled existence that is a reflection of our own uncontrolled minds. We are vulnerable to all the mental and physical pain that arises from an uncontrolled mind-such as the pains that come from the delusions of attachment, anger, and ignorance. We can choose to live in denial of this and thereby give up what control we have, or we can choose to recognize this vulnerability, recognize that we are in danger, and then find a way to avert the danger by removing the actual causes of all fear (the equivalent of the cigarettes)-the delusions and negative, unskilful actions motivated by those delusions. In this way we gain control, and if we are in control we have no cause for fear. All Buddhas teachings are methods to overcome the delusions, the source of all fears.

Balanced Fear
A balanced fear of our delusions and the suffering to which they inevitably give rise is therefore healthy because it serves to motivate constructive action to avoid a real danger. We only need fear as an impetus until we have removed the causes of our vulnerability through finding spiritual, inner refuge and gradually training the mind. Once we have

done this, we are fearless because we no longer have anything that can harm us, like a Foe Destroyer (someone who has attained liberation, defeated the foe of the delusions) or a Buddha (a fully enlightened being). All Buddhas teachings are methods to overcome the delusions, the source of all fears. For an introduction to these teachings, see Transform Your Life.

There are various factors that can create fear and most people don't realize that fear itself is something that is totally internal to their own mind. It is not a real physical thing, you can't point to something and say, "That over there is fear, watch out or you'll trip over it". It is a product of our subconscious reactions to certain stimuli that is internal to ourselves, although it can certainly feel real enough when it creeps up on you. The good news is that since it is a by-product of our reactions to things, you have a number of options to deal with it or even remove it entirely. Once you are aware of the causes, you can control it and work with it and eventually remove it as a problem in your life. Rudy Giuliani once said: Courage is not the absence of fear; rather it is the management of fear. Fear is something that you can manage, control and in some cases remove entirely. I will point out though that some fears serve a useful purpose, for instance the fear of fire stops us putting our hand in the fire, the fear of getting run over stops us from running across a busy freeway. I am sure you can think of some other examples of where fear is a good thing to have, so common sense should prevail in your efforts to remove fear from your life. When your fear level goes up your ability to think rationally trends downward to the point where you can act in ways inappropriate to the situation. Of course being afraid doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you since everyone feels afraid of a wide variety of things, but when fear takes over your life or becomes prevalent in situations where it isn't appropriate that is where you should take control. Learning to be in control of yourself is an important skill to learn and will serve you well all your life. A lot of fears can be created by what we are thinking and the way we are thinking. You do have a choice about your thoughts since it's your brain and you can be in control of it. As I said earlier, fear can be useful and you can use it when you decide to use it and not when the subconscious chooses. If you walk around all day concentrating on your fears you are reinforcing those fears to yourself and is something to be aware of. As I mentioned, sometimes fear can also help us to make the 'correct choices' for various situations since if we didn't fear the bad choices there would be no reason to stop choosing them. The important point though is to make a conscious decision about whether to be fearful in a situation or to allow the rational mind to make a choice

amongst the possible solutions. Common sense will dictate your reaction. For example, if the reason you feel afraid is because of danger, get out of that situation as quickly as you can. Your safety is important, never neglect that. To begin to control the fear you will need to examine it and see what it is that frightens you i.e. what component causes you to react in a fearful manner? Naturally when it happens, unless you are practiced at this, it will be difficult to examine your thoughts since you will have a mix of fear induced chemicals running through your body. Examining your thoughts as soon as possible after the event is necessary though. What is your fear and what aspect of your fear are you afraid of? What is it that frightens you the most? These are important questions you should ask yourself. Sometimes our fears are rooted in something that has happened in our past. An event happened and our brains learned to be afraid of something. If this is so, then you need to find out what the event in the past was and examine it as rationally as you can. Is the fear even real or is it imagined? Our subconscious minds often can't recognize an event that is real from an event that was imagined or programmed into us by ourselves or someone else. For example, a parent can unknowingly program a child to be afraid of a range of things, either unwittingly or because the parent is afraid and through showing this fear to the child, transfers that fear. Who knows how many generations this fear can be transferred or in what manner. Try to understand where the fear comes from and that will be a major step towards regaining control of the fear. Sometimes the fear is about something that is unlikely to happen and yet our brains tell us that it will and then the fear builds up inside of us. Examine the event and work out how unlikely it is to affect you. This occurs time and again and is most noticeable with the media and it's portrayal of events. They tend to focus on the negative images and reinforce our fears by retelling tragic events over and over again. The reason they do this is the business they are in, a business that needs to have people watching their programs and staying tuned so that their sponsors or advertisers have the opportunity to sell their wares. I have found that a lot of people aren't aware of the biases the media have when they portray a story although it's easy enough to watch out for once you are aware of it. To control the fear you can do the following. 1. Do whatever is needed to prepare yourself for your fear. Often preparing for something that is fearful will help you to gain control over it since you are ready and able to handle it better. 2. Is there a way to desensitize yourself to your fear? Will repetition of the event make the fear go away? 3. Teach yourself to enjoy the task if it's sensible to do so. This can be done through using an assortment of positive reinforcement techniques. Repeating to yourself that the task is good for you, or reinforcing for yourself the benefits that facing the fear will bring. (This and No 1 are good for public speaking.)

4. Train yourself to acknowledge the fear and accept it for what it is, simply your mind telling your body that something concerns it. Repeatedly telling yourself that you are no longer concerned about it and not to be afraid will help you to believe. Always be kind to yourself. Fear happens to everyone and you can choose to work with it and nullify its effects rather than let it take control. Don't be frustrated with yourself if you don't see the effects immediately since it can take time to resolve. Fear can be controlled. Remove it's power to affect you and you remove the fear itself. Having the self-confidence to be able to handle situations will help you with other events as well. You will build up an ability to cope that you didn't know you had