Prologue

Being different ***

.

Growing up i was called Trevor Michael's and

my mother was the most warmest person ever
she raised us to be believers in Christ she was
over barring and to protective towards us I
somehow felt like I’m a prisoner at my own
house but the love I got made me think
otherwise mom was white elderly lady and
never ever she touched in the topic of our
background and no extended family members
ever visited us it was very strange but it was
part of who we were so I thought it was only
me my sister ( Pam ) and her.

well I did not care at all because I was raised to

be antisocial I kept to myself and I enjoyed
my space and quite space.
I have know all my life that there was
something different about me I constantly had
seizures and migraines I used to see things
that were not natural or not from this world I
would hear things... voices telling not to go
there ...not to do this... songs of foreign
language and drums playing I was able to
sense danger lose and also see people that
have passed on ghost in particular while some
people called this a gift I called it curse
because it isolated me from the world .

i remember when i was five years I found a

huge green snake under my bed instead of
freaking out like most kids would I took the
snake places it in may hand and started playing
with it when my sister walked in on me with
the snake on hands she screamed and fainted
and I called my mom but when I returned
back to my room the snake was gone. I wish
somebody would have believed me when I said
the snake talked to me but as a kid I was they
thought I just made up a story .

The dream’s were even too disturbing I was

always walking or running in the green field
surrounded by lionesses not just any
lionesses but white lionesses with Green eyes
the connection I had with this lions was just
strange i even started sleep walking and woke
up in strange places .
Mom took me to several high priest she
believed that I was cursed or possessed by
some sort of demon or evil spirit especial when
I started speaking to Ghost one priest
informed her that I have a calling and one of my
gift is to speak to the ghost the priest told me
that I'm a seer and possess a powerful gift

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one priest informed her that I have a calling

and one of my gift is to speak to the ghost the
priest told me that I'm a seer and possess a
powerful gift my mom just lost it and took me
to hospital
I was diagnosed to be mentally unfit because if
science can't prove or diagnose any illness it
means you must be crazy since there was no
logic in it my Dr and phycologists thought I
was bipolar because of my mood swings and
split personality I use to feel like an outside in
my own body I always had that urge to find out
what was going on with me but I was too
afraid .

when I turned 16th i had the most Beezer vision

or was it a dream ?a white lady appeared and
woke me up she was glowing and was wearing
traditional Swati attar with lot of beads I did
not know who she was but I had the most
calmest feeling ever seeing her her smile so
worm her eyes sparkled with kindness . her
hands so soft

Her : “ Mvelo my boy you have grown up “

Me : “ why you calling me Mvelo “

She smiled and held my hand

Her : “be ready for the storm coming your way

you need to accept who you are ... you are of
royal blood .. be strong for you and your
sister ... ill be looking down on you protecting
you “
Me : “ who are you ? “

Her : “ except your calling ... and remember you

are a white lion you are Aslan the great king “

As puzzled as the vision was I had a bed feeling

that something big is coming something i had
no control over our lives is about to take a
wrong turn and well it did because my mother
passed on that day I was only 16th and my
sister was 18th as much as my mother loved
us she was in debt due to my medical condition
we were left with nothing everything we
owned was repossessed by the bank the house
furniture’s the cars yep we were broke and
homeless we had to live on my sisters trust
fund which she use most of it to pay my
outstanding medical bill my sister had to
grow up and take control and be responsibility
we moved from Mpumalanga to Durban
because my sister applied for a job there as a
traffic cop and with god grace she got the Job
starting a new school new environment was
nerve racking I was different . I looked
different and I was to embark on new different
journey that I was not familiar with. This is my
story I’m Trevor Michael's ... in a quest to find
my identity ...

Chapter 1
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Arriving to Durban with my sister I told myself I
will make my life normal I will stop feeding on
this anxiety attacks and abnormal feeling not
forgetting this crazy temper I feel I’m like
ticking bomb ready to explode I wanted to act
like a normal guy I wanted to smash some
pussy and break lot of hearts to be honest as
much as my life was messed up my sexuality
was never affected I started having sex at the
age of 12 years well what to do when you got
the looks and every girl throw themselves in
your dick so I smashed and run my mother
always gave me an ear full of being safe so I did
just that leaving Mpumalanga was sort of
blessing because between fucking around
being sick all the time and being lock up at
some institute I was given another chance to
live my life .

We rented a flat in Newlands west coloured

infested area it was a noisy neighbour hood
to lively for my liking buy hay I wanted change
so this will do.

Pam : “ I move this side so that we can bland in

I hate when people look at us differently “
Me : “ that why you cut your hair short ? “

She rolled her eyes and we continued to

unpack pam always worries about what
people think about us it not like it written on
our foreheads that we are coloured orphans
with no direction or blood line we call
relatives .

Since we were practically broke and I would not

call police salary an income anyway my sister
could not afford private school for me I was
forced and dragged to study eloxion some
school that was referenced by one of her
colleague from work.

Me : “ aren’t we supposed to blend in “ I said

when we parked outside the school gate my
first day at school .

Her : “ you will be fine Trey I’m sorry I was

going to walk you in but I got to rush to work “

As if I was going to allow her to hold my hand

with that cheap traffic cop uniform thanks’ but
no thanks I’ll enter the lion den alone .

I wanted to die already I could tell that I’m

going to be bullied cute yellow bone that
what most girls called me the minute I stepped
inside the gate already people were seeing me
as piece of meat. so being an introvert it was
hard for me to adjust I was doing grade 11
and had no friends it was like I’m in wrong cell
in prison surrounded by gang 27 and 28 this will
be long year shit.

I kept quite and prayed that this people don’t

bully me since I my Zulu was not even 1% on
queue I could hear it but somehow the
language was too damn hard for me to spit out
of my tongue

“ this way before you get lost “

I looked at her she had long legs small body and

long hair chinar eyes small mouth and
beautiful smile

Her : “ I’m Sindisiwe aka Sindy you new and

cute so let me be your guide“

Thank you Jesus

Me : “ aah thanks “

Her : “ don’t get any ideas though ...or else I

will mass up that pretty face of your this is just
kind gesture ok “ I smiled she was bubbly and
can run her mouth for day time went by and
me and Sindy we were good friends to think
that not even once I felt a satin way about her
but just purely friendship beside she Friend
Zoned me the day we meet so I became gay in
her eyes. she was good people but yet again
she had that dark side about her she was going
through stuff and hide her scars with a smile
and bubbly personality there was a dark cloud
surrounding her and I felt a need to protect her
there was this feeling I felt Every time we
touched or hug I felt her pain but how do I ask
her if she ok? Our friendship is still new and I
don’t know her that well I just need to be close
to her I now she will tell me when she is ready
so I became a good listener because she will
talks non stop yep girls and gossip .

Pam was getting more busy with work double

shift and working her ass off to take care of me

Pam : “ if I don’t wake up you physics textbook

wont buy it self you now “

I somehow felt bad that she sacrifice a lot for

me

8 months down the line I can fully say I have

gotten used to this place school was not that
bad I’m one of the bright student after all and
having a friend like Sindy will challenge you
because she is very competitive in everything.

I started having satin interest to some girl

around my house her Name was Sam her family
own a local Turk shop she was thick and very
beautiful with short blond hair she was too
juicy you know that look like forbidden fruit
that you want to taste but could not touch.

Her father was on another level of being over

protective he was doing I good job with all
those scary tattoos on his arm and legs you
know a redneck kinder of white guy just by
looking at him I wanted to run pee myself and
even shit myself too.

After months of pursuing her one day she

dropped by my house

Her : “ so my mom is taking care of the Tuck

shop I thought I come and say hi”

She just stood at my door with a very short

dress all I thought about is if her father kills
me today at list I would have fuck her
daughters brain off
Me : “ and why you standing outside for please
come in “

She smiled and walked in I fist bump the air ...

thank you Jesus its bean months in new town
and pussy just come in platter like this yes I
love Durban

Introduction and getting to know each other

was for few seconds and what not next thing
she was underneath me naked

Me : “ are you sure you want to do this “

She nodded she was a good kisser and her

body was ooh haven
I finally gave in position myself I was hard as
stallion and dahm I was going to enjoy this

Her “ ouch Trey you hurting me stop ... “ fuck

virgin now what

Me : “ i'll be gentle come on relax “

Her : “ its painful you too big “

really are you going to say that to me now

you came here ready to get laid and I’m half
inside your pussy bitch please I just dive in
and did my shit while she screaming and
cursing even spoke in Afrikaans it's like we
wrestling but had so much fun in pleasure
doing it well I don’t know about her but for
me I was having blast she splashed her juices
on me dhm that triggered me to go deeper and
faster she splashed her juices on me dhm that
triggered me to go deeper and faster she was
just to tight that was awesome I collapse on
top of her and she pushed me off and did the
un expected and slapped me

me : “ do that I again and I will fuck you from

behind come let's get you cleaned up “

she frowned and pouted but well I’m cute no

girl can resist me few minutes later she
stepped in bathroom poor thing can not even
work the second third and fourth round she
was more relaxed we fucked till we ran out of
condoms and doze off the next morning a
found Pam seating in kitchen counter and
looking at me as if killed somebody well Sam I
just got laid and I don’t have to explain myself
‘to you

Her : “ who the fuck is she Trey ? “

Shit got real but well me and Pam never I mean

never fight so I looked at her and made
breakfast Sam rushed out and passed us

Me : “ what’s wrong ? “

Her : “ my father is going to kill me why you

never woke me up ? “
I shrug

Her : “ shit ! “ she ran out

Pam : “ you fucked the gangsters golden girl

ooh my God Trey what were thinking !!”

Me : “ yep she was gold indeed “ I smiled and

walked back to my room

Me and Sam dated for few months and I fell for

her yep I did receive few punches from his dad
for screwing his daughter but when something
is forbidden you wanted it more I fell deep for
her mind you this is the first time I’m falling in
love

Final exams were coming up Sindy and I studied

day and night till our brains were fried

Voice : “ come on girl this is simple focus

Mpume “

Voice 2 : “ yoo !! don’t shout at me just because

I don’t process this calculation the way you do “

I looked behind me shit there she was I looked

at her she always has that frown on her face
the color of her eyes are too exotic why is she
even doing in township school she moved her
hair from her face and smiled a bit I was taken
I had a major crush on this girl she never
greets never talk and she lives in the shadow
it like she hiding something

Sindy : “ no Mr you can not be drooling over

her we have to study “

Sindy nudged me we were at the library

Me : “ i'm not lasting shut up “

She shook her head and focus on her books I

cleared my trout and moved my chair next to
her now I had a clear view of the Gods beauty

Me : “ who is she ? “ I figured she knows her

since sindy is master or gossip in school

Her : “ they call her Zoe ”

I smiled even her name is beautiful

Her : “ wipe that smile from your face she

damaged goods “

I looked at her pissed fuck girl is jealous

Her : “ don’t look at me like that “

Me :” spill out the beans I know you know more

about her than you dishing out “
She sigh and moved her chair to where I was
seating and looked at me

Her : “ she pregnant she newbie like you

well we don’t know what her story is but since
she friends with the church girl I guess she
messed up with a wrong church boy and boom
fell pregnant or maybe does pastors that prey
on young girls all we know is that her family
lives a classy lifestyle and she looks well to do
but as I said ... “

She held my face to look at her “ she

Pregnant !!!” fuck that attracted her attention
they looked at us why did sindy have to be so
loud Zoe stood up she was not showing did
a hell of job hiding her bump but I noticed that
she was pregnant when i looked closely her
friend clicked her tongue and they walked out .
I tried to stand up to go apologize but Sindy
held my hand

Her : “ don’t make a full of yourself that girl got

attitude for days seat down “

I sank down while my heart was taken by a

Mystery girl so can I get to know her she like
so into herself fuck Sindy spoiled any chance I
had with her nxa ... I took my school bag and
stomped out I was pissed like crazy. Wait hold
up she did say that she was pregnant right but
why do I feel my heart skip a bit when I think
about her fuck I’m whipped.
December we got our result and yep I passed
I’m an “A” student so i made my sister proud. I
had so much beef with Sam family Pam decided
we move to another place since there was so
much tension my sister carries a gun everyday
but she hate fights and avoid them like crazy
what kind of cop is she vele ? I was a bit upset
for leaving I have gotten used to this place but
to think about it I was playing with fire anyway
especially when Sam became to clingy visited
me way too often she was becoming those
girls that wants to hold hands and her jealousy
was sky high I could not deal so I started
avoiding her. crazy part is that after our
separation

I started having crazy dreams of his dad

pointing a gun at me and shooting me it felt
so real that I was starting to be very paranoid
and had sleepless night I somehow felt as if
my life was in danger you now that feeling you
get when the back of your hair stands up and
feel like someone is following you. and one day
I got an SMS that just made heart stop

“ it was not enough that you took my daughters

innocent now you making her cry you going
to pay for this boy “ fuck what have I gotten
myself into.

Chapter 2
what do you mean you being followed “

I looked at Pam who was ready to pass out with

panic I wiped the sweet on my face with the
back of my hand

Me : “ its just a feeling pam I’m not sure but I

sense danger in my life “
I drank glass of water that she offered me I
was breathing heavily

Her : damit Trey I told you to stop screwing

with that girl “

I was busy catching my breath I just ran about

tree blocks to my house and I had to make sure
that I don’t go into my flat directly just to give
the people that were chasing me decoy fuck
I’m in shit and to top it up Sindy is busy blowing
my phone about the year ending party held in
south beach while I’m fricking out and loosing
my mind .
Pam : “ ill call one of my friend who is an SAPS
to report this maybe there is something he can
do “

Me : “ I don’t think that wise can we drop this

please “

She just looked at me and mumbled something

while she dialing a number.

I made my way to my room and collected my

thoughts I wanted to call Sam to ask her if her
father send his goons after me ... fuck who am I
kidding vele its him I made my way to the
bathroom and when I walked back into my
room Sindy was seating there reading my
HEFTY magazine
Her : “ finish jacking off pavet ? really nude
magazine? this is just grouse! “

I raised my eyebrow I just had a towel

wrapped around my waist

Me : “ get out now “

Her : “ dud you my wing man and I need you

there we going! so stop ignoring my calls “

Me : “ get out so can fuckin dress up!! “

She smiled jumped off my bed scanned me up

and down and winked at me “ good boy now
we talking “

Sometimes things we do for friends get us in so

much trouble yes we made it to the bash
had few drinks I flatted with few cheeks
made out and did all shit that teenagers do till I
found my self being beaten up by some guys I
felt like I was going to die all I remember is
that I took a girl for walk in the beach
expecting to score since I carried condoms and
shit and out of nowhere tree guys approached
us and started smacking me while the chic fled
the seen i was close to the sea shore and I had
no where to run I was drunk and the sand
was heavy on my feet I just laid there while
they kicked me and punch me senselessly all I
remember was that it started to rain and
thunder made so much noise that I forgot that I
was in pain next thing lighting shoot from the
sky and aim to one guy that was on top of me
he fell down the other two looked at me

Guy one : “ why are your eyes like that ...

“ funny enough my eyes where closed I had no
clue what he was on about all I know is that I
might be looking like Tom Cruise in movie
vanilla sky my face must be fucked up fore
real .

His voice was shaking I could feel fear and hear

his heart beat as if my ear was placed in his
chest the waived splashed my sore body and I
felt my body going into shock I had seizures but
one word encored in my ear

Guy 2: “ uyaloya lomuntu fuck I’m out of here

yini amehlo akhe abe njena!! “ I heard foot step
guess he was running I opened my eyes
slowly everything seemed blurry but I saw a ball
of lighting striking again and this time It hit me
directly instead of getting shock it actually was
a healing mechanism inside me I looked into
the sky and saw a women’s face shit not her
again what bed news will she bring now last
time I sow her it was last year when mom died
she is defiantly an angel of dearth fuck this
guys hit me so bad I’m now even seeing things
Voice : get up “

Me : “ my body hurts I can get up “ I cried the

only thing that crossed my mind right now is
why do bad things happened to me and why
am I seeing things is she even real ? wait hold
up why am I talking to her she is not real at
this point I wish mom was still alive and I was
home I need for her to prey for me this things
that are happening to me are demonic now is
the devil using me as his vessel

Voice : “ you stronger than you think stop

giving the enemy an upper hand by doubting
your self so get up Mvelo “

another wave splashed my lifeless badly

bruised body and I started chocking since sea
water made its way trough nostril I lifted my
body and remarkably I did not feel any pain I
sow car lights approaching me and two
paramedic rushing to me on foot they were
two body’s laying next to me I panicked what
happened ?

Paramedic 1 : “ this kids never lean who said

they must swim at night while intoxicated ... its
shit like this that makes me hate my job at
times “

Par 2 : “ just attend that one who looks a bit

awake I will check this two “

Par 1 : “ good luck with the drunks looks like

they passed out “

I looked at the two lifeless body’s next to me I

sensed something was wrong with the whole
situation the paramedic was busy checking
there pulse and his facial expression changed
immediately i had flash back the lighting could
it be ... ?

Par 1 : “ hay boy were you swimming ? “ I

ignored him my focus was on the other guy
who was busy trying to figure out what
happened

Pa1: “ hay !! I’m talking to you ? ... are you

listening to me ? what are you doing here?
Pa2 : “ hay Gov !!! we got a problem here I can
get a pulse this boys look like they were
electrocuted like they were struck by lightning
or something “ he sniffed at there cloths
which looked bunt

Pa1 : “ that strange it never rained today ”

I looked at them like what the fuck it rained

cats and dogs I minute ago with thunder and
lighting what do they mean it never rained

Me : “ sorry but it did rain “

A life guard petrol van stooped they had

conversation with there eyes and one female
guard came to me

Her : “ what happened here ? “

Me : “ it rained and next thing I know there was

lightening I passed out an woke up they were
laying there “

Her : “ what were you doing away from the

party in the first place? “

Me : “ I was walking with some girl that I attend

school with and this guys attacked me “

Her : “ where is the girl ? “

Me : “ she ran way... “

Her : “ ware they trying to rob you or anything ?

did they take anything ? “

Me : “ I don’t know they just started attacking

me”

Pa1 “ will need the numbers of next of kin for

this guys and a police van “

Me : “ are they dead ? “

I stood up to look at what they were talking
about it con not be !

Her : “ please don’t come any closer .... this is

crime seen now and what happened here is
still not clear .. so please wait in the car for the
police to take your statement “

Me : “ am I suspect ?? “

Her : “you the only last person that saw them

alive so yah the cops may need a statement “

Me : “ what... “

Her : “ its just standard procedure if its true

what you telling us about lighting sticking two
people and living you alive than it would not be
a problem right “ I hated that look he gave me
as if I’m crazy or somthing I felt my chest
closing up I could not breath shit this is
another panic attack I felt my eyes getting
heavy I shook my head no and next thing all
light went off .

I woke up in strange room There was a

women humming a song I was in some house
and the flooring was wooden the house was
pure oak and was very big there were
pictures in the wall of some royal family the
family was big I must admit but the man seating
on the throne looked very intimidating with his
grey bead and eyes that looked really scarry
the lady smiling next two her was mid age
women with worm smile and she looked very
beautiful I stood by the corridors looking at
the family tree portrait’s hanging on the wall
one thing that caught my eyes were painting of
lions that were seated next to throne and one
lion had the exact eyes of that old man what ??
my mind was disturbed by the harming and I
followed the sound to a room it was nursery
she was busy rocking the baby to sleep I stood
behind her and listened to the song it sounded
so peaceful

“ you need to behave my son you can not act

all reckless with your life “

I looked around and felt this anointing and

calmness feeling it was peaceful
Me : “ I’m I dead “

She laughed and continued rocking the baby

she did not raise her head she had long thick
black hair that was curly “ you wish but no you
not “

Me : “ who are you and why are you harming

that song ? “

She did not respond

Me : “ where am I ? “

She smiled again “ the worse is coming your

way Mvelo you father has been trying to
worn you and show you the path to take but
you do not see upon the naked eye your royal
blood is calling you prepare your self don’t
give up because the road is going to be very
bumpy “

Me : “ royal blood ?? My father ? “

Her : “ you have come into age and you need

to rise above the shadows be strong I can not
stop what going to happened now “

She Singh

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 while I kneeled in front of her
Her : “your fathers side they do things
differently than my side “

My : “ my fathers side? ? who are you ?? “

Her : “I’m the love you fill inside when you feel
lonely I’m the worm you feel when you feel
cold I’m the straight I give you when you feel
week I’m your shield for all the darkness that
wants to destroy you I’m your light in the
dark.... “

Me : “PLEASE STOP WITH THIS WHAT AM I

DOING HERE AND WHY I KEEP SEING THINGS ?
GET OUT OF MY HEAD !!!! “ I was mad angry
this shit has to stop if this is dream I need to
wake up I stood up since I felt the house
shaking She looked at me moved her hair
from her face I saw a glimpse of pam futures
in her wow she looked so beautiful her eyes
her lips I felt worm and fuzzy inside I had a
connection with her I looked at the baby no
it can not be ...

Her : “ you know who I am but you reluctant to

accept the truth open you eyes Mvelo “
The light shined on her face and it blinded me

Voice : “ open your eyes now !! “

I open my eyes and I was in hospital room with

Pam yelling at the Dr

Pam : “ what wrong with my brother and why

does he have bruises ??

Me : “ Pam “ I whispered she ran to me

She looked at me her eyes were red “ thank

God you up “ she threw her self in my arms and
hugged me I squeezed her back with a bear hug
what felt like a life time we finely let go

Her : “ why did you live the house with ought

telling me ?? I was so worried.... than I got call
from the hospital I just lost it I thought ....
“ she started crying

Me : “ they say I’m an accomplice to murder

Pam “ I was really shaking I was worried I
felt fear I mean the justice system in SA can
easy throw me under the bus

Pam : “ NO ! ... I will not allow them ... but Trey

I told you not to live the house !... what if you
died or something look at what they did to
you ?!”
Me : “ you not mom stop shouting at me ! ”

Her : “ you act like a child nje so I must trite you

like one “ she yelled back

Me : “ are we doing this now ? really Pamela “

She breath out loud and set next to me she

was hurt angry but mostly worried I will also be
if I was in her shoes

Her : “ ok ... ok ... I’m sorry ... “ she held my

hand “ what happened bro ? “

I looked at her trying to make sense what I’m

going to tell her but nothing was making sense
I breath out loud and then told her my story

Me : “ and I woke up here its just strange its

crazy I know but you have to believe me “

Her : “ Trey the two boys are dead ... the cops
will not believe your statement ... this is just
madness are you still taking your pills ? “

Me : “ I’m not crazy pam !! “

Her :but this story is Trey it did not even rain

one single drop today “

I hate the look she was giving me I confide in

her shit happens... shit I find hard to explain
as well I don’t know what wrong with me
right now I’m even scared to tell her that the
women who raised us might have not been our
mother because she will think I’m paranoid
again

Me : “ so tell me why they say it was an electric

shock that killed them like lighting ??? “

Her : “ I don’t k now Trey this.... those not

add up “

Me: “IM NOT CRAZY PAM I KNOW WHAT I SOW

FUCK !! “
My voice was loud I felt like I was on speaker or
something everything stood still it was like a
earth quick the walls were shaking Pam held
her chest while I sank down and tried to figure
out what just happened

Her : “ what was that Trey “

My chest started moving up and down I could

not believe that I was getting angry I jumped
of the bed and started walking out

Pam : “ Trey you can not live the Dr has not

seen you as yet !!“
I just wanted air I felt like my blood was
boiling I wanted to escape the Lion Roar inside
my head I seat by the entrance there were
benches and I buried my head on my hands

Me : :” what’s happening to me?? “

Voice : “ its starting .... prepare yourself “

I looked around there was no one seating next

to me I was all alone and they was street Venda
in front of me selling fruit I looked around
what the fuck I might as well act all lunatic
because everyone thinks I’m crazy I cleared
my trout
Me : “ I can not do this why me? why don’t you
tell me what wrong with me ? you said you my
ears when I can not hear talk to me ! “

“ because its your destiny....you body is

preparing you “

I looked on my side and wanted to jump shit ...

there was man seating next to me he was very
handsome caramel in complexion very
clean judging by his suite and clean white shirt
I was only able to look at him from the side I
did not have a clear view on who he is

Me : “ who are you ? “

He slowly turned around and looked at me I
jumped in shock and fell off my seat holly shit ...
what the fuck !!!

Me : “ you ... you ... look... “ I could not alter

any word out and he smiled shit is this even
real

Him : “ what ? you look like you have seen a

ghost he continued to laugh “

Me : “ are you me in the future “ he shook his

head this guy looked like my identical tween I
mean he looks years older than me I looked
at him and his eyes were brown yellow like he
had that distinguish futures which took me
back to the photo that I sow in my dream he
was standing next to the scary old guy seating
in throne

He folded his hands and looked at the sea

waves “ you know where we come from there
is no sea we have beautiful landscape though
but we don’t have this remarkable gods
creation “

I looked at his wrist he had beads bracelet on

Him : “ I’m not much of a talker Mvelo “

Shit that name again who the fuck is Mvelo and

why are this dead people calling me by this
name
Him : “ you remind me so much of me “ he side
smile and shook his head

Him : “yazi you need to control your temper I

was once like you and look at me now I missed
out on the years of seeing my kids grow up
you have pour heart you take after your
mother use that at all times the storm is
coming the fallen kings want you to take your
rightful place but your calling is more
powerful you need to control the lion inside
of you so that you will be a ruler you are
gifted not crazy just remember that at all times
“ he held my trembling hand and I felt so worm
inside that I asked him with ought thinking
Me : “ are you my father ? “

Pam : “ Trey who are talking too “

I looked up she was standing next to me I felt

like crying I just meet my father for the first
time and I know believe that I’m not Michael’s
the women I called my mother for so many
years was she our biological mother or not ?

Me : “ I’m just think outload “ I looked away

Her : well I have given a statement to the cops

lucky for us both of those guys had a criminal
record so they bought the fact that you were
attached robbing gone wrong ”
Me : “ how are they going explain the way they
died ? “

Her : “ I don’t know that is still a mystery but

you not going to be charged they is nothing
pointing to you so stop worrying “

I nodded and looked at her she had worried

look and she was biting her lower lip

Me : “ what’s wrong ? “

her : “Sam father send them the two guys had

tattoos of the new lands gang “
Me : “ wow “ this was bad no doubt

She nodded “ I think we not safe here anymore

I mean what if next time they don’t beat you up
they shoot you or even do the worse “

Me : “ I’m not relocating Pam I can not keep

running away when trouble approaches
besides I send I pretty good massage that I can
not be killed right so should they try to attach
me again worse could happened to them
lightening was just a highlights “

She looked at me suspiciously “ what you

talking about ?? “
Me : “ I killed two guys with lightening so I’m a
sorcerer I can do worse things if you piss me off
“

The look on her face was priceless that I bust

out and laughed and she hit my shoulder

Her : “ don’t play like that come on lets get

you home “

I stood up and walked with her but to think

about what happened ? could it be that I made
lighting strike on those guys ? what did ‘the
Pam look alike women’ say that my powerful
gift must not be clouded by anger ? am I of
royal blood ? why do I keep hearing lion roar in
my ears and why is my heart beating
abnormally when I think about this ? am I really
a witch ? do I have evil spirit in me that killed
does guys ? what happening to me ? why do I
see dead people and have illusions ? who am I
vele ? ...... or WHAT AM I ????

To be continued ..

Chapter 3
After the killing saga that happened few weeks
back I can admit that things went from bad to
worse I had disturbing dreams I experience
things like some sort of visions I was basically
hallucinating Pam has decided to book me to
see a psychiatrist two times in week that does
not help cause that lady is just clueless of what
happening in my life she will just sit there and
expect me to talk while doing a psychic
valuation on me ” again good people I’m not
crazy “ I wish I they can listen to me. It was two
day before X-mas day I was in one of my foul
moods I'm not a morning person at all and do
not talk till maybe after noon saddest part is
that I live with the most chirpiest person ever
to her everyday is Colgate smile day.

Pam “ hay look who finally woke up “

Remind me why I woke up vele she was

wearing leggings and t-shirt I’m guessing she
not working today I just passed her and made
my way to the kitchen

Her : “ Good morning brother “

Me : “ what so good about it ? “

Her : “ well because you woke up today so be

grateful and thank the lord “
I rolled my eyes with the dreams I have and
sleep working that I have been happening to
me I can not be grateful at all since I huddley
sleep at all

Me : “ ok “

She came to me and looked at me

her : “ so can we go out today just the two of us

you know have a movie date do some xmas
shopping “

me : “ you booked me to see a shrink

remember ... so your crazy brother has an
appointment at 13h00 today “

her : “ Trey don’t talk like that I’m only trying

to help “

me : “ yahh what ever Pam “

her : “ come on Trey its been a while since we

had sibling date ... please “

me : “ thank you but I will pass “

I was not in a mood to walk around in crowded

shopping malls with all the voices that will
torment me I still can not get why I hear
people's thought and cries yes... the cries are
the worse it make my ear bleed I just can
not .

Her : “ come on Tray it will be fun “

Me : “ Pam please stop crowding me I just

need to sleep so feel free to go out ok... geez “

Her : “fine ... o’right you don’t have to bite

head off phela !”

I took my cereal bowl and walked back to my

room I have shut myself from the world this
days and talking about what I’m going trough
was not even helping after eating I took a
bath since I woke up late and I had an
appointment to attend to ... shit I hate this
appointment I made my way out Pam was
watching tv

Me : “ can you borrow me your car please “

Before mom passed on she made sure that we

fully skilled and prepared us for the world so I
know how to drive even have valid drivers
license Pam wanted to say no but well if she
does not give me her car keys it will be her
money going down the drain since she is the
one paying for my sessions
Her : “ keys are on the counter “ she said that
with ought even looking at me

Me : “ thank you “I mumbled

Her : ahhh .. and Trey .. I hope you going to

your appointment for real “

Me : you are spying on me so i bet you will

know if i did not attend “

I took the keys and drove out Pam has been

keeping tabs on me and it was irritating me like
crazy I know she means well but she just need
to take a chill pill because she is just too over
barring when I arrived at the Dr office the
reception smiled at me i just looked at her I
signed the attendance register and left the
room I don’t attend this session they just
waist of my time every time when I get here I
go to the Basket ball court and play hoops it's
part of the facility for patients who prefer the
outdoors than seating in the office some time
the Dr comes to talk to me there or he just
observe me on her window nevertheless he
still write his report I hate confide places I
think being in loony been all my teen life have
made me enjoy the outdoors more

“ what’s up “ I looked behind it was Bright one

of the guys that attend session here we have
grown close because we always skip the sit in
session and just come and chill here I find
that talking to him is more useful to me
because he is also going through stuff so we
can relate

he looked well off judging from his cloths and

his gadget that he always carry around

I just nodded and continued to bounce the ball

and shoot the hoops

Him : “ so tell me how long have you been

avoiding the good Dr “

Me : “ few weeks now and you ? “

Him : “ couple of years “ I laughed

Him : “ you Know I meant to ask you this so

are you crazy ? suicidal or depressed ? “

I laughed the way he said it “ I guess I will have

to go with the first one “

He laughed

Him : “ pass me the ball man and stop tripping

“ I just looked at him and passed the ball he
started bouncing the ball side to side

Him : “ you know they don’t believe me it's like

when I tell the truth they just think I’m suicidal
or somewhat or maybe depressed “

I looked at him yep story of my life

Him : “i just wish the folks can stop wasting

there money buy referring me here”

Me : “ story of my life “

Him : “ the first time I was hit by car I thought

It was an accident but when it happened
two ... tree times I had a feeling that I was
cursed or something everytime i drive i see
the shadow of women on the road and i just
lose control of the wheel "
Me : “ wow that deep... that why you in the
wheelchair ??“

Him : “ yap ! like really bro if I wanted to kill

myself I would have drove to a bus or truck or
something ”

Me : “ so you telling me you had more than one

car crash and you still came out alive ??”

He nodded " make it four times within two

year "

Me : “ wow ! “

Him : “ fuck this come lets play "

he passed the ball to me and i held it and the
most screwed up thing happened

~~~~ vision ~~~~

Two women were fighting by the side of the

road I was unable to hear them till I went close
to them

Women 1 “ I hired you to look after my son

Sponsored
 and take care of the household duties but you
turn around and sleep with my husband???
How could you “
w/2 : “ I didn't plan it sisi it just happened I’m
sorry please do not kick me out I don’t have
anywhere to go “

w/1 “ you should have thought about that

before you opened your legs to my man get
out of my house you come hear with your filth
and do it in front of my son you betrayed my
trust you my cousin for goodness sake how
could you ????!!“
w/2 : “ please sisi I burg you “

the older women started pushing her and

dragging her things outside the gate I notice
that the women who was pushing the crying
woman was wearing a nurse uniform they
were close to the road and out of nowhere
came two speeding cars that were racing but
this two women were so occupied with their
fight they did not see the speeding cars
capproching out of a blue they started
fighting and the lady who was crying pushed
the nurse to the road “

me : “ NO... NO PLEASE ! “
the speeding car could not stop it was too
late and she was hit by one car on the right lane
and it threw her to the other lane where the
other car ran her over

me : “ NOOOOO! “

I felt hands shaking me “ YOO man ! what

wrong ... hey dud !! hay ! are you ok ... what
wrong ??? “

I opened my eyes and Bright was shaking me

Him : “ dud are you ok “

I shook my head no I seat down and brushed

my face ...that felt so real the screams the
blood on the street when I opened my eyes I
could not believe my eyes the nurse lady on my
vision was standing next to bright

Me : “ I sow you .. you ... the car ... “

Her focused moved to me “ you can see me

“ she asked with tears on her eyes

Me : “ no this is not happening you not real “ I

shook my head trying to come myself

Bright : “ dud you scaring me who you talking

too ???“

i Shook my head and looked down i felt as if

my airways were shutting down

Bright : let me get you water you don’t look ok

“ Bright was on wheelchair so he wheeled
himself away from me

Voice : “ please tell my son I’m sorry “

I looked at the nurse standing next to me she

looked disturbing her white uniform hard blood
stain on and her head injury was bleeding
Her : “ I do not mean him any harm but every
time I get close to him .... the accident
happened to him ... it ...it like I’m hurting him
it's all my fault “

I looked at her

Me : “ are you dead? “

She smiled “ for someone who has gift you

really slow “

I raised my eyebrow did she just mock me

right now
Her : “ look i can not cross over because I still
have lot of anger my dearth came
unexpected and I can not except it she killed
me to take my family “ her facial expression
change

Me : “ I sow what happened and it was an

accident “

Her : “ No!!! “

Me “ you were fighting and she pushed you by

mistake and the car that hit you they were
raising ... it was a mistake “

Her : “ NO! she killed me “

Me : “ you in denial that why you can not
cross over “ she started crying I had no clue
on how to comfort a ghost so I just wish that
she can live me alone because her sight was
just to scary and disturbing to look at

Bright came back to me with a quizzed bottle

with energy drink I lifted my head and thank
god i notice that the nurse ghost was not there
anymore i'm definitely losing my mind how
could this be possible i just talked to dead
person and she was crying not that i just
show how she died God please let this stop .

Him : “ what happened you had a panic

attack of some sort you looked like you
drifted to a world of your own a minute there“

I breath out loud how do I tell a person I

hardly now that I speak to ghost and I have
paranormal activities that tormenting me every
now and then

Me : “ remember I told you I was crazy ... “

He laughed “ yes “

Me : “well I just had crazy talk with a ghost .. “

He laughed and I joined in “ you need more

session with the Dr in that case “ we laughed
out loud till we were disturbed by a voice
“ Bright I have been looking all over for you
your father is waiting for you “

Bright had a huge frown on his face I looked

at the mid-age women approaching us my eyes
just popped out

Me : “ fuck ... this can not be ... who is that ??“

Bright “ my step mom don’t tell me you have

crash on her also “

I shook my head and remember the nurse

ghost “ please tell my son I’m sorry “ I looked at
bright and just froze ooh shit! This shit just got
real now. I stood up and took my bag pack

Bright : yoo man what’s up ???“

Me : “ I got to bounce dog see ya ! “

I did not wait for him to respond but just ran

away I got in the car and my hand was
trembling I took few deep breaths and
started the car I wanted to forget the incised
that happened today shit I was scared what
just happened ... what's happening to me

Voice “ you need to help me please “ I looked

on the passenger seat and the bloody nurse
was sitting there with her messed up face i
freaked out and jumped

Me : “ AHHHHH! oooh shit! “ I lost control of

the car and next thing everything went black

Chapter 4

" Trey hurry up we going to be late "

I fixed my tie and looked at myself in the mirror
the boy I knew before was no longer looking
back at me growing up came with lot of
changes in my life it somehow good but a bit
Scary at the same time and way to difficult to
apprehend I have lot of questions that are not
answers the only person who tried making
sense to me in my dreams and visions does not
come true for me any more it's like I'm all
Alone in this mystery I call my life I wanted to
call out her name but ... Who is she? she looks
like Pam very beautiful and kind is she my
mom ? So I did the unexpected and called out
for her

" mom I need you help me understand "

I breath out loud since she did not answer me
or appeared as she anomaly did I sigh.

It's a new year and my last year in high school

I'm not looking forward to it since I have
dreams and visions that are a bit disturbing . I
bet you wondering if I'm still alive ? Well dearth
would have been to easy for me since i had a
massage to pass on ... Funny thing is I thought
I was heading down the cliff when I lost control
of the wheel but nop the car braked on the
side of the road and I bumped my head on the
steering wheel and blackout

Voice : " I'm sorry to scare you like that but I

need you to tell my son how sorry I'm" really
this dead lady won't get off my back

Me: who are you ? "

Voice :wake up there are here "

I heard a person knocking in my window

Bright : Trey hey bro ... Wake up" I lifted my

head and looked at him I unlock the door and
stepped out

Bright: mfethu are you good ? you look out of it

why packing on side of the road what wrong ??
I looked at him and sow the nurse ghost lady
standing next to him ... you again really what
do you want ??? I frowned

Her : now please "

I sighed and kneeled in front of him here goes

nothing I closed my eyes and everything came
rushing in I had visions of Bright life from
when he was born when he grow up death
of her mom and his accident that put him on
wheelchair it felt so real shit its like my body
left mine .. teleport to his life shit

Me : you were born on the 14 September 1990

you were premature baby and your mother
thought you will never make it surprisingly you
did your father named you Bright because you
gave your parents light when you were born
you mom was a nursed and loved you so much
but due to her job that was demanding she was
forced to ask for help from her sister to help
and look after you "

Him : Trevor stop what is this ... how do you

know this ?"

he pushed me I looked at him and his eyes

were glassy
me : I'm just a massager please listen "

him : fuck you man stop messing with my life "

Me : you need to stop blaming your aunt for

the passing of your mom "

Him : no Trey I saw her she pushed her ... She

killed her!!! "

Voice : make him stop saying that please its

holding me back "

I looked at him and the nurse was crying there

was a spark of life that was flashing in the sky
the nurse was not in denial his son was the one
that was not setting her spirit free by blaming
the other woman

Me : if you continue saying that you holding

your mom spirit ... She need to cross over it
was an accident ... They were fighting and did
not see the raising cars forgiveness / anger
and hate is keeping you mom spirit in this world
"

He started crying and I was getting weak I felt

my body feeling very light

Voice : tell him about his accident the reason I

hurt him make him understand please"
Me : look the women in the road is your mom
she practically your shadow a dark cloud you
walk around with and every time she get close
to you a car accident happened ..." He was
crying now very loud and every time when his
heart let go of the anger I feel very lite I could
not hold my body anymore so i seat down on
the ground

Him : can you see her ?"

I nodded he continued to cry holding his face

I felt I torn of Waite on my shoulder

Voice : he need to forgive me

Sponsored

so I can move on "

Me : she is asking for forgiveness "

Bright aunt / step mom was standing by my car

crying as well I didn't even realise she was also
standing there she probably heard everything

Voice : tell my sister that a cleansing ceremony

must be done and she also need to apologise
to my in-law edlozini for envying my life yes
my dearth was my fate but she was jealous and
seduced my husband that why abaphansi
they giving her misfortunes and they also
holding my husband heart to never love her or
marry her ... She need to do the ceremony
ashweleze edlozini ." I looked at her and she
smiles she looked clean with her white dress
and a light that was shining over her body she
was free

Voice : it time ... Thank you so much Mguni "

I smiled as well she was at peace for me it

was just another feeling I just saved a soul
Voice : except you gift ... its truly a God send ...
You will be a powerful seer one day believe in
yourself..... tell my boy I love him so much and
thank you for breaking the chains of death and
the curse on my family " I looked her as her
spirit got lifted and finally disappeared I don't
know what happens next but I felt my eyes
getting heavy and next thing I woke up in my
room ... Bright and I still talk he still can not
believe that I have a calling which was
strange because I still don't understand what it
is vele they did do the ceremony and his feeling
on his legs came back and and his undergoing
physiotherapy to learn how to walk again his
father did the most noble thing ever and wrote
R5k cheque to me as a way of thanking me
because not only was his wife tormenting his
son she was also a restless soul in his life as well
I can never say no to money me and Pam we
are struggling financially so this was going to
help .

most of my holidays were spend in door i was

still shocked of the events that happened so no
more socializing for me for now till i figure
everything out .

SIndy came by few times and looked a bit

drained she did not confide on me about why
I see and feel the Weight of the world in her
shoulder so I let her be one thing I notice
about Sindy is that she use sex as an escape
she dating some soccer player and she is just
using him for a good time out and sex never
thought women live that kind of a life but
well whatever makes her sleep at night . I have
been sleeping peacefully for weeks thank god
no dreams and talking lions till few days
before school open I had the most unsettling
dream about a girl call Nokuzola Waite I know
this girl I go to school with her fuck she is my
crush. there was lot of blood and she was
bolding on her abdominal area she was crying
her cries where piecing she was laying down
on her own pool of blood she looked older
and more beautiful ... the room she was in was
slowly losing light while she screamed and cried
her lungs out out of the mist of it all I had a
voice telling me

"prey for her now "

I shoot my eyes open jumped out of bed

kneeled down and prayed I may be a lot of
things but when I pray I always feel like heaven
listen to me so I knew what I had to do to help
her I had to prey a lot

Pam : finally you done almost thought that you

will skip your first day at school

She said that the minute I walked in the kitchen

Her: breakfast ?

Me : naaa juice will do "

She looked at me infect studying me

Me : what?"
Him : I heard you screaming last night same
dream ?"

I nodded the dreams of Nokzola turned into

nightmare I whiteness how she miscarriage
and i felt her pain it was shifted to me I woke
up screaming on every dream I had

Her : do you know this girl ?

Me : not personally but I see her around "

Her : Trey I don't want you sticking your nose

where it don't belong if this man really beat
her up to a pulp and she suffered a miscarriage
than its looks like a real case of domestic
violence "

I put the glass on the sink " I just need to find

out than assume the worse all I know is that
the spirit of her baby is not free when she
keeps having this suicidal thought and this rage
and anger in her heart"

Pam : its not your problem Trey "

Me : I know ... But at least let me see if I can

help "

She went on and on about me always seeking

trouble in all angles and one day I may not be
so lucky ... The drive to school was just Pam
running her mouth god she does not keep quiet
I opened the car door

Her : hayboo and then no goodbye "

How was I going to say that if she talking non

stop

Me : bye Sisi I love you and easy with that

temper Cos one of this days you will not even
see your future husband while his standing
right there in front of you "

Her : what?
I smiled and walked out

Chapter 5

Walking in the school gates was just nerve

racking i already had uneasy feeling the
minute I inhaled the air in here people say
that hospital are the worse place to be at
because you can see and sense dearth and
people who are gravely ill I preferred that
kind of environment because what you see is
what you get but places like church and
school it's just scary people walk around with
smile and positive attitude as sort of coma flush
while inside they are dying and going through
emotional physical issues that are so deadly.

We can paint out life as bright and colorful as

we like but truth is we experience lot of
challenges along the way that can either break
us or make us growing up we depend on our
parents to shape our future and our lives but
most of the kids in here are going through
depression due to the fact that home is like hell
to them because of what they endue there .

I stood there by the corridors looking at the

hype of hugging and laughter screaming and
reuniting of friends on the new year.

It looks beautiful when you looking from the

outside or from a distance but the people we
call friends and bff’s turn out to be our biggest
foe along the years Jealousy and envy killed a
lot of teens.

We can not control the emotional roller

coasters that that may cloud our heart and turn
a person's heart from being good to being evil
the nasty facial expression we share and fake
smile and cold hugs indication no love or care
what’s so ever for one another .

I fear that this year will not be any different

than any other year some will be bullied this
year some will go through teenage pregnancy
some will comet suicide some will even fail
and some will concur and overcome all barriers
and succeed yes looking at my school mates I
felt all those emotions.

They call it my gift and I must embrace it but

it too overpowering it's like my soul will live my
body and bounce in and out of every one
coursing me to have anxiety attacks and
emotional break down I felt my breathing
getting abnormal I was sweating I was short of
breath the voices started I wish I can dig a
hole and hide from all this voices it too much ...
make it stop please!! I placed my hands on
my face and out of blue the siren went off
everything started moving back to normal . I
breath in and out took out my handkerchief
and wiped my sweating face

“ hallo stop daydreaming and give me a hug “

I looked besides me the ever bubbly Sindy was

smiling she always full of life as ever she threw
herself in my arms and gave me an embrace

Me : “ hey how you doing ? “

Her : “ I’m fabulous babe wow there is

something different about you “ she held both
of my cheeks and looked into my eyes I rolled
my eyes at her she is such a diva at times
Me : “ could be my attitude “

She laughed

Her “ I’m so excited I can not believe this is our

final year in high school “

I looked at her and smiled Sindy has always

been bubbly and yet have crazy and moody
attitude we made our way to the assembly
while she was telling me about her holidays
yep I learned that if you friends with a girl the
best way to keep the friendship alive is just to
listen to there retarded stories and nod a lot
as if you paying attention.
Voice : “ Hi Sindy “

Sindy : “ Menzi “ she looked the opposite

direction while Menzi was looking at her.

Menzi Is school fuck boy his buffed up light

in complexion and very hot not my words but
most girl’s in school will say:

“ if you know Don Benjamin the basketball

player that kind of bed boy sexy looking guy he
looks so much like Menzi its like they twins or
something ”

Menzi is well know for smashing pussy and live

them chic’s hanging his life style is mad
expensive he drives a Golf 5 GTI and rocks ups
expensive clothes even though I feel like his
dress sense is werk with his baggy jeans and
basketball jersey and t-shirt and he never lives
the house without a cap . That kind of look’s an
attitude has made him the enemy of the school
Guys hate him and girls want to fuck him .

But I must give up to him that he know his shit

I once taught he was thug or something
because of his lifestyle but since he was on
my debate team last year I just figure out that
he comes from rich and privilege background
he got brains but prefers to play dumb just to
feet in with the other fuck boys he has been
trying to hookup with Sindy for months now
but my girl does not date high school boys and
has never given him time or day.
Him : “ what’s up Trey “ oh finally he noticed
that I’m standing there really ?

Me : the sky the last time I checked “

He laughed and shook his head “ It always a

delight bumping into you man “ Sindy clicked
his tongue

Sindy : “ this guy is so full of himself “

Me : “ that because his trying to get in to your

pants “

Sindy : that will never happened ... he must

continue to dream on “

The assembly took long today prayer

singing awards and introducing the new
prefects to my surprise Menzi and Nokuzola
were announced as head prefect this year in
my mind I was saying please can we go back to
class now the sun was doing a number on me

Sindy : “ wow Ms. Pregy is one bright spark as

fuck distinction in all off her subject ? shit !“

Me : “ I’m impressed “

Zola looked uncomfortable with all this lime

light on her and most kids were passing
rumors about her

Girl 1“ they say she aborted “

Girl 2 “ no can not be wena slima she was

highly pregnant she must have given the baby
up for adoption “

Girl1 : “ apparently she was dating a blesser

that left her “

Girl 3 : “ she was kicked out of her house and

she staying with that church girl shame “

Girl 2 : “ she such a bitch vele the quiet one

are very devious white trash “
They laughed it was a mass it true when they
say that people will always pick on you and
judge you for your mistake but the good that
you have accomplished will always be ignored I
felt anger that some people can be so nasty
yes Nokuzola was victim of teenage pregnancy
and it might have been an abomination to the
human eye but come on this girl just broke
through the chains of being a victim and
became a high achiever with her grades it's
clearly proves that she is a genius with goals
and ambition who gets an ‘ A’ in maths IT
Physics and Biology not mentioning English that
just crazy insane . Finely the hype of being
assigned to new class rooms began and we
were separated according to our grades.
Sindy : “ looks like the school fuck boy and miss
pregy will be in our class “

She rolled her eyes “ Tell me Sindy what’s your

problem with Nokuzola “

She shrug he shoulder “ she just all that look

at how flawless she is I mean she lives in our
shadows and still came up top with her high
score like really? not so long ago she was
pregnant like come on she spells out being
bitch NJE! “

I stopped and held her arm

“ look here I love you as my friend but this

attitude and the way you speak about others
with ought having a slightest clue about what
they going trough in there lives is not on infect I
hate that attitude about you you run your
mouth so much and even forget that you
yourself have skeletons of your own buried
deep in your closet “

Her : “ Trey! “ she said softly

Me : “ no let me finish ... that girl went through

something that is way to tragic and
traumatizing in her life she is crucified for her
mistake everyday I’m even surprised that she
still standing and facing the world all I know is
that since the whole world is ageist her and
hating on her I’m not going to be that person as
well she is more than just a pretty face with
brains she a human being who hurts like
other and feels like others everyone has been
bashing her and passing rumors about her the
whole morning everyone has been bashing her
and passing rumors about her the whole
morning so if you want this friendship that we
have to continue get your shit together and
stop pointing figures of matters that you have
no facts about “

She looked down while I passed her and left her

there bullying and ignorance is serious
weapon that people use to bash other people
self esteem at most occasion it lead the victim
to be self conscious emotional unfit suffer
from life timer depression with suicidal
thoughts that haunt them for life unruly
comments judgement and ill treatment are
deadly I do not condone such behavior it's
just not human .

I went to class set on my corner and just

reflected on what was happening when my
classmate became to rowdy and wild I plugged
in my headset and listen to my jams we had
free period I guess since its our first day back at
school teachers were trying to organize there
schedule as well. I felt hands tapping me softly
on my shoulder I looked up and it was Sindy

Sindy : “ hay “

Me : “ hi “
Her : “ I’m sorry .. I guess the way I spoke was
just ... “

Me : “ rude and despicable “

Her : “ ya Trey ... bash me even more when I’m

down “

I side smile

Me : “ let's break the circle of hate Sindy and do

the right thing “

Sindy : “ if I didn’t know better I would say you

have a thing for this girl “
Me : “ it's not about her but it's about everyone
who goes through what she is going trough it
hard to be different Sindy and hate speech
remarks and bullying makes it even worse “

She sigh

Me : people are consumed with so much

jealousy and envy I just don’t want my life to be
associated with so much hate bro I just don’t
want to reflect back in my life one day and say
that I lead a person to there early grave or
mental disorder “

Her : “ wow Trey that deep ...you know school

is the only place where I forget about my
fucked up life and what’s going at home ... “
She smiled but it did not meet her eyes I
always knew that Sindy was going through stuff
at home but she never told me in details I
was just able to pick it up from our
conversation

Her : I’m sorry I just talk with ought any filter

at times and not realizing that I’m hurting
someone in process ... I guess it's another way
to drift what I’m going trough buy hating on
others “

We had a moment of silent just self reflecting

on the issue at hand

Me : her Name is Nokuzola ... “

Her : “ mmmmm? “

Me : “ she is Nokuzola and I’m saving this seat

for her “

Her : “ and where must I seat ? “

Me : “ I’m not your keeper find your own place

“

We laughed while she pushed me playfully

She took out her notepad and wrote

“ RESERVED FOR ZOLA “ she placed it on the
desk I decided that Zola seat in front of me
she walked in and looked around till she
noticed a bold reserved sign on the table she
made her way towards us

Sindy “ I hope you don’t mind I saved this desk

for you “

Her : “ Thank you “

she set down and looked outside the window

while I stood up and nudged Sindy to introduce
us she frown and looked at Zola

Sindy " ah Zola congratulations on your

achievement “
She looked at us puzzled

Zoe:" thank you please call me Zoe Zola is

so boyish "

I looked at her judging from her haircut she

looked a bit tomb boyish so I laughed inside

Sindy: "oh k’ noted by the way I'm Sindisiwe

aka Sindy and this Trevor aka Try she pointed at
me I smiled at her since she was studying us
as well

Her : "nice to meet you" wow was that dimples

shit this girl is just out of this world gorgeous
me : "I love your hairstyle it brings out your
eyes " fuck what was that... really ... that just a
lame pick up line I avoided eye contact since I
just made an ass of myself

Her : “aaah.. thank you “

Sindy : "his name is Menzi I guess you already

know that since you will be working close to
him "

Sindy being bubbly she started a conversation

with Zoe who was looking at every one in the
class so Sindy being Sindy started feeling her up
with Gossips and who’s who in the school
Sindy :" guys next to him are his crew "

me : "fuck boys they have no manners and

arrogant as fuck "

Zoe : "and her ? " she pointed with her eyes

Me : "your nightmare she is Gugu she is the one

that is spreading talks about you the whole
morning and you disappointed her by getting
the title of head prefect just be careful around
her "

Sindy went on to elaborate about who is

fucking who who the in thing who’s not yoo
my friend can talk for days Zoe was really
taken back

She could not believe half of the things that

Sindy said she laughed and held her mouth I
notice that she has a funny personality and she
is a joker as well her smile was something
else and fuck her eyes were just exotic it's like
she got contact lenses on the more we talked
the more I realized that half of the paint that
people have painted her with is not her true
color she is a remarkable women with a heart
of gold later on the day class was in session and
my mind kept on drifting to the girl seating in
front of me I can still sense a bit of sadness in
her but it nothing compared to the dreams I
have been having about her and when I look at
her I don’t see the pain/ anger it's like she has
blocked all feelings towards what happened
which makes me think if she really did
miscarriage or not? My mind drifted further
looking back at small details of my dream that
could give me clues in my dream she looked
different older infect she had a ring on ... a
wedding ring ... was I dreaming about what’s
going to happened to her in the future ? was I
having a premonition of what’s about to come ?
I was so lost in thought that I was shocked by
the banging noise on my desk Sindy bringing
me back to reality

Her : “ Trey ... its lunch time “

I nodded and we walked out bought chips

and drink at school tack shop my mind was
everywhere but not there at all yet again I
was disturbed by my phone that started
buzzing I took it out and answered

Me : “ Pam “

Her : “ though i'll check up on you since its

lunch time how you doing ? how your first
day ? “

Me : “ well I’m ok ... “

Her : “ you sound down “

Me : “ its nothing Pam just have lot on my mind

nje “
Her: oh ! my God Trey don’t tell me you went
ahead and confronted the girl ? “

I sighed why does pam act like my mother at

times

Me : “ can you stop stressing of cause I did

not “

Her : “ I hope you telling the truth “

Me : “ look I need to go back to class are you

fetching me after school ? “

Her : “ about that ... “

Me : “ cool .. see you at home “

Her : “ I’m sorry Trey ? “

Me : “ shap... I have to go “

I dropped the call I walked back in class saw

Zoe Seating with another Thick yellow bone
she had long dreadlocks that were neatly tied
up freckles that highlighted her beauty
pouted thick pink lips with big eyes that made
her look like a doll she was on another level of
being hot Jesus

Sindy : “ breath tiger “ ok this was going to be

hard I’m going to be surrounded by beautiful
chic’s God might as well turn me gay right
now because my blood is boiling and my penus
wants to show off Zoe looked at me and smiled

Zoe : “ hay guys meet my friend Mpume

Mpume this is Trey and Sindy “

Mpume : “ point of correction I’m the best

friend “ I laughed and shook my head ok miss
Barbie is crazy and cute I handed Zoe a
pocket of chips

Me : for you "

zoe : thank you " I set on my desk and took out

my phone while listening to the girl chat
mpume : you can not hide from the world
forever love "

me : I'm not hiding just trying to adjust myself "

Sindy : Gugu is planning on destroying you

she has this idea that you are after Menzi I
overheard her in the girls toilet"

mpume and Zoe laughed even high five... ok

they don’t seem bothered by this why?

me : and then ? "

mpume : Zoe already has a man Menzi is

nothing compared to what Zoe has with Langa "

i dropped my Jaw shit .... well done Trevor you

are in infatuation with a girl that has a man and
if the good looking school fuck boy with money
does not compare to Zoe boyfriend who am I ?
shit I don’t stand a chance my spirit and self
confident just got crashed by that statement ...
already I hate my first day back at school

Chapter 6
Its first week of February and I’m already
exhausted school work is way to much and I
hate every minute of it I hardly see Pam in
the house this days it's like she does not live
with me I have learned a habit of being alone
and just collectively try to figure out this thing
called “ my gift / my calling “ dreams are
extreme this days and feel so real I have tried
to connect with my spiritual side I may not go
to church like most Christians do to connect
with God but I’m a believer and I have a huge
connection with heaven I should learn infect to
pray even harder considering that I see ghost
and can feel and sense other peoples feeling
they say I’m a seer but when I read about seer
in bible it talks about prophets who had power
to heal and foresee the future curse out
demons and so forth I wonder if my Gift is
being a prophet or what ? .

The most strangest dream I keep getting is very

vivid its like I’m being shown a place that my
subconsciously and memory was blocked from
it this dark place carries a lot evil spirit and
restless souls its frightening walking in that
place it looks more like a cave and only
candlelight is the source of light in here every
time when I go there a lion will raw causing me
to shoot my eyes open and driving me to
deadly panic attack tonight was one of many
night that I kept having this dream I woke up
drenched in sweat I made my way to the
living room and turned the Tv on I already know
that I will be tormented by insomnia and not
sleep at all after that dream thank God its
weekend and no school today .

I flipped through channels just trying to

suppress this echo in my ear that sounded like a
person blowing air in my ear I freaked out a
bit and looked around but i was all alone in the
room . Paranormal activities are haunting my
life If I dare speak such to my sister she will
think I’m crazy and book me in a mental
hospital again I hate it when she start judging
me instead of listening to me I did not ask for
this and I clearly do not know how to handle it
or what it is also.
T.v was getting pretty boring it not as if I was
paying any attention to it either way the son
came quicker than normal today I looked at
the time is was just 4:00 am Durban weather
mos can be a killer I made my way outside I set
by the stoop in our balcony it was peaceful and
I enjoy the fresh air .

Voice : “ morning “

I was so lost in thought that I did not realize

that there was person standing next to me I
turned my head to look who it is and notice a
young girl maybe about 12 or 13 year old she
smiled
Me : “ hi “ I looked at her I never seen her
before around here her eyes were puffy
looked like she has been crying for days she
looked a bit pale as well with dark marks
around her eyes

Me : “ are you ok ? “

She smiled and seat down next to me

Her : “ I’m sick apparently the Dr say I have

cancer “

I looked her “ I’m sorry to hear about that “

Her : “ its ok “
I looked at her “ hold up why did you say
apparently ? “

Her : “ because they are not sure themselves

they have no clear diagnoses on what they are
saying so they concluded to be cancer “

I looked down such a young child life sucks at

times “ how do you know this ? “

Her : “ it all started when I was suppose to go

for reed dance last year September I was so
happy it was my first time going with ought my
big sister and I was so excited “ she smiled but
her tears stream down on her cheeks and her
smile faded

Her : “ my grandmother came to visit us that

week she told me that she was so proud of
me since my sister passed away few years back
life at home was never the same by me going
to reed ceremony it was in honor to my sister
and making my parents proud as well”

I smiled she must have really loved her sister

I felt sad for the parents though I mean they
lost one child and the other one is diagnosed
with cancer its truly was sad
Her : don’t be sad she in a better place right
now and me I’m going to be alright “

I was shocked that out of everything she going

through she still has a positive spirit

Her : “ so let me finish my story ok “ I smiled

she looked at me and her eyes were so
beautiful full of life and no care or what’s so
ever of what life has thrown to her she held
my hand and the temperature of her hand
alarmed me her hands were a bit cold but I
figured that its because she is sick

Her : “ so .. when ever my gran visit I share a

room with her she loves singing and that always
takes me to lalaland and I have the most
peaceful sleep ever kodwa that night
something strange happened to me “

I looked at her “ what ? “

Her : I was trouble by nightmares a lot it was so

scary “

Me : “ nightmares ?? “

She nodded “ my grandmother said it's just

nightmares but know what I saw “

Me : “ you saw something ? “

Her : “ look what happened to me “ in that
instant it's like my body teleported to that night
I was in the girls bed room the girl was
sleeping in her bed and the grandmother was
carrying something like a calabash on her hands
she was standing by the head of the girls bed
they was steam coming out of the calabash my
eyes were fixed on the calabash while the old
lady was speaking some language I was not
familiar with the room started getting foggy
she placed the calabash down and kneeled
beside it

Old lady : “ feast my child it is time usekhulile

usethombile “ a huge snake emerged from the
calabash which was strange because it would
have not fit inside at all because of its huge size
it made its way towards the girls bed she was
sleeping soundly the snake curled it self around
the girl it made a hissing sound sticking it
tongue out I was beyond shocked I was
terrified this was not normal I wanted to
speak but there was no sound on my voice.

Me : “ hay stop “ still nothing.

The old lady smiled and continued to

encourage the snake “ she is all yours she is
ready for you“ the snake started changing and
turned into some creature a devils creature
per say it was big with muscled it had a tail
and it face looked like a real demon the old
lady smiled bowed her head down as a sign of
respect
Me : stop .. hay!!!! What you doing !!! “ still no
sound.

The creature exposed the young girls legs lifting

the night dress off it looked at the girl what I
saw next disturbed me my thoughts all along
were that since it was commanded to eat the
girl and feast on her I thought it was going for
kill and devour the child but no the creature
did the unthinkable it had sexual desires for the
girl

Me : “ NO ... NO ! please stop !!! “ my voice was

not audible my feet could not move it felt like I
was stuck in quicksand or something.

The creature had sex with the girl

subconsciously the girl could feel something
wrong she was fast asleep while all of this was
happening to her judging by her body that was
just not moving

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subconsciously the girl could feel something

wrong she was fast asleep while all of this was
happening to her judging by her body that was
just not moving but her subconscious she was
screaming for help the sex scene of the
creature on top of an innocent girl went on and
on while the little girl cries and screams made
my heart stop I could not look any more I was
busy calling out:
” please stop !! you hurting her !! please stop !!
somebody help her please !! “

They were lot off voices in my head cries

laughter arguing fights swearing car hoots
screams music gun shots I was losing my
mind I can not concentrate I blocked my ears
with my hands I kneeled down the girl was
crying the creature/demon was moaning and
making unbearable sound God please make it
stop it hurting her please God make it stop.
Its like somebody pressed mute in my brain
they was no sound I can even hear a sewing
needle drop down at this point

Voice “ prey Mvelo help her “ the voice was so

calm and peaceful

I was crying I raised my head as much as I can

hear a no sound now but the creature was
still devouring the poor child sexually

The old lady was doing funny gestures I could

see that she was laughing and enjoying what
was happening and the little girl shoot her eyes
open and looked at me
“ please Help me I know you feel my pain
please make it stop ... make it stop please “

I felt my chest closing in the creature turned

it head and looked at me it was as if it could see
me with his red piecing eyes looked into mine
I looked at it and did not drop my gaze

Voice : “ Now Mvelo Prey!! And break the curse

now “ the voice made the room shake a bit I
don’t know what came over me but I couldn't
help but to look at the demon in the eye and
my mouth open “In the name and by the blood
of Jesus Christ I break the power and hold of
every curse that is practice through ritual or
ritual sacrifice on this little girl “
Old lady : “ no!! no !! no ! what’s happening …
who the devil are you to mess with Mathwala
the great witch “

She was looking around

Me : “ Jesus I ask you to send your angels now

to completely disarm all curses demonic
practice and black magic surrounding your
innocent soul disarm their every device and
render them destroyed.

Old lady : “ NO ! NO !

The creature looked at the old lady it was very

mad angry even furious It rowed and started
holding it head like it was suffering from
horrible migraines

Old women : “ ‘who’s there? ... whoever you

are ? stop it now! “

She was panicking but something inside of me

told me that I must not stop I must continue to
free this girl

Me : I ask your angels to remove all foul spirits

involved in these curses and black arts and bind
them to your feet for judgment.”
The old lady screamed and a dark tunnel open
on the floor sucking the demon in while it cried
in agony unfamiliar shadows started circling
the old lady who looked terrified as shit my
eyes shifted to the

young girl she was laying there naked and she

herd blood between her legs my heart was
heavy I felt my chest closing in … I wanted to
scream I cried no … no! how can the world be
so evil I just started bawling right there I
could not hold it in any more I felt hands
touching me I looked up a mid age women who
was wearing ibhayi elimhlophe with prints of
red son that had black sun rays on it she
cover her head with red and white traditional
head scuff she had red and white beads on her
neck and wrist and ankles she looked at me
and smile “ it has began Mvelo your spiritual
side is ready you can truly speak to heavens if
God is on your side he will help you connect
with your ancestors “

me : “ who are you? “

her : “ your spiritual guide “

me : “ I don’t understand “

her : “ it has began … I’m with you all the way …

don’t be afraid my child … “
i still felt tears on my face my heart was still
heavy I just witness the most disturbing thing
in my life

me : “ the girl who is she? Is she alright ?

her : “ King George hospital ward 405 you will

get your answers “

me : “what was that ? why did it do that ? “

she smiled at me and wiped my tears “ answers

lays within you my child “ I closed my eyes
trying to calm myself down when I open them
I was in my house in the couch and the TV was
still playing I seat up straight looked around it
was morning I looked at the clock hanging on
wall time was 6:30 I ran my hands on my face
“ what just happened ? “ oh my God that poor
girl I jumped up and ran outside I looked for
any clues about the girl who she was ? where is
she from ? is she ok ? but it looked as if
whatever transpired earlier was in my head
but why did it feel so real ? I was confused I was
still sniffing due to the crying I did earlier so it
was real I could not get the picture out of my
head of what I saw I made my way inside the
house and pam was all dressed up in her
uniform

her : “ morning “

she was fixing her self

me : “ mmmm when did you come back ? “

her : “ 3 hrs. back you were passed out on the

couch I did not want to disturb you ... “

she looked at me

“ hay Trey are you ok ? have you been crying ?

what’s wrong ? “

She came to me and held my hands my mind

was just to clouded and there was an echo in
my ear that started ringing “ King George
hospital ward 405”
Me : “ I will be ok Pam look I need to be
somewhere will chat later ok “

Her : “ where are you going “

Me : “ church first and I need to visit a friend in

hospital later “

Her : “ what? ? “

She looked at me surprisingly shocked ...

Me : “ what ?

I was also flabbergasted as well the things that

come out of my mouth this days ...

Chapter 7
It took me a while to figure out which church to
go too this morning so I choice a church close
buy just few blocks from my place it was Baptist
church way to small but you know what they
say you can be alone in your room praising and
worshiping God will appear and be there by
your side all the time the gospel was nice and
spirit and praise went on and on it actually
lifted my faith along the way.

A mind is dangerous tool in human body as

much as you can tell your self that you gone
pass or over come a situation it will still drift
back and remind you of whatever memory you
trying to block that what happened to me
My mind will constantly drifting off to scenes
that happened this morning making me lose
focus on the word while they were singing
and screaming Amen I was already board and
my mind was not there any way .

I stood up I already knew that this is not going

to work in this church it a place of prayer yes
but not as powerful as I want it to be as a
believer sometimes the holy ghost will just
show you that as much as I seek for spiritual
guidance and deliverance I still have lot of
question that need to be answered and this
place right here was not it and was not going to
help .

After walking and kicking stones on the ground

I took a bus to the hospital I still had no clue
how will that unfold I can not just drop in the
girls ward and say :

“ hay you grandmother tried to kill you with

some devil look alike creature I just came to
check if you ok “

I laughed at myself just thinking about that

one thing I realised is that I don’t know what to
make out of that thing i slapped my head
with palm of my hand why thinking how dumb I
am why cunt I just google this shit I took out
my Phone and searched “ sex demon “ that the
only word I could think of besides it was
fucking the girls brains out in my dream or was
vision fuck whatever it was but to me it was
sex demon a lot of shit popped up even
porn I just rolled my eyes and continued to
search till I bumped into one article talking
about ‘incubus ‘ even the pictures displayed
exactly what I saw I held my mouth in shock
shit just got real.

I was so focused in reading the article I almost

forgot that I have to jump of at my stop I
looked outside my window and notice that next
stop I have to jump off .

The bus dropped me off opposite the hospital I

stated to panicked now what ? with whatever
little faith I have and no answers or clue at
what am I doing here ? and how dangerous is
this ‘incubus ‘ devil thing what am i getting my
self into vele ?

while I was just standing there lost in thought

I felt someone bumping me he dropped his
docs along the way

“ ooh good lord I’m sorry I was not looking

where I was going “

I looked up it was grown man well dressed and

looked decent I looked at his had he had a
bible and dangling pastors cross on his neck
he was wearing one of those chinese shirt and
smelled very expensive

Me : “ God this must be signee “

He looked at me and smiled ” well I’m a man of

God and if you need any help it's my duty to
help “

I smiled “ yes I knew going to church today

was going to work miracles for me “

He laughed I noticed that his a very good

looking guy a bit grey but he aged very good
and God blessed him with his tall body and
brood shoulder such a distinguished look I bet
that the women in his church go gaga on him
when he say Haleluya!

him : “ walk with me son “

I did as instructed and walked with him

Me : “ I’m not sure what I’m going to say or ask

you if it will be appropriate but I whiteness
something disturbing and have no clue what to
make of it “

Him : “ how disturbing “

I scratched my head and was tongue tight

“ may I show you please its kind hard to
explain “
I took out my phone and showed him the
article

Man : “ wow incubus … interesting … “

He shook his head “ do You know anything

about it ? what it is ? “

He nodded “ witches best friend “

Me :” how so ? “

He looked at me
Him : “ it’s a demon that prey on female in
order to engage in sexual activity with them “

Me : “ but why ? wait I’m confused … the girl

was not even a women… “

Him : “ girl ? “

I stopped how do I tell him what I saw with

ought him thinking of me being crazy I breath in
and out

Me : “ is it possible for this demon to target

girls … as in young innocent girl who are not
clued up about sexual activities per say ? “
He stopped folded his hand thought for a
while “ depends entirely on the purpose the
demon is used for witches use this demon for
lot of things dark magic riches power and
All sort of things it is said that if a girl is
innocent and about to come to age they can
use the young girl womb as harvesting tool “

Me : “ what?

Him : “Incubi were thought to be demons who

had sexual relations with women sometimes
producing a child by the woman.”
“ what ? can a human reproduce a demon ? ?”

Him : “ well in naked eye we do not know but

Questions about the reproductive capabilities
of the demons continued religion and old
testimony indicates so ”

I nodded it makes perfect sense now the girl

was used as a reproduction tool for the
creature but question remains why ?

Me :” when it happens do victims feel … you

know see the thing ? … feel it ? “

He started walking and I was on his tale like a

puppy
Him : no Victims may have been experiencing
waking dreams or sleep paralysis. The
phenomenon of sleep paralysis is
well-establishe

d. The reason for this is ultimately unknown but

the most common explanation is that this
prevents one from acting out in one's dreams.
Malfunctions of this process can either result in
somnambulism sleepwalking or conversely
sleep paralysis—where one remains partially or
wholly paralysed for a short time after waking.
The combination of sleep paralysis and
hypnagogic hallucination could easily cause
someone to believe that a "demon was holding
them down".”
Me : so there subconsciously can feel
something but there natural state still
remains asleep “

Him : “ in simple English it just like that “

I stopped and looked at him I was not sure now

how will this sound but he looked like a very
well educated man and not your typical old
fashioned baba’mfundisi “

Him : “ talk son I’m all ears “

Me : “ can an demon deflower a human when

engaging in sexual activities with an innocent
girl ? “ I looked down feeling very
embarrassed about my question

Him : “ NO but complication may happened

with the female reproductive system like
premenstrual cycle womb illness Ovarian
diseases that can affect their reproductive
system and general health complication may
also lead to excessive bleeding and may cause
ovarian cancer or womb cancer

Me: “ oh shit “

He cleared his throat “ I’m sorry I didn't mean

to”

Him : “ tell me where is this all coming from ? “

Me : “ this will sound pretty strange but I’m a
“ seer “ I actually saw a demon doing an evil act
on a young girl “

Him : “ why would it sound strange ? it's your

Gift and it means that GOD loved you enough
to intrust you to deliver his people from all the
evil of the world you are broker of chains
you will cast out curses and heal people you
should not be ashamed but accept who you are
and what you are meant to become “

I looked at him and felt a wave of lightness

inside me

Me : “sounds like hard work “

He laughed “ it is but God will show you the
way … “

I nodded “ sir “

Him : “call me Pastor Majozi please “

Me: “ Pastor I know you came to the hospital

for some different reason but may I ask you
to accompany me to see a person that I believe
her life is in danger “

Him : “ it will be an Horner son look at me I’m

walking side by side with the most greatest
prophet “
I laughed this man though . we did make
away to the young Girls ward I was nervous as
fuck and did not know what awaiting for us
how will this people react? I was just going to
allow Bab Majozi to lead and I will follow

Sponsored

he is a man of God after all no one can

question him right? .
We came to learn that the girl has been in a
coma for months now since last year
September her name is Lisa 12 years she
started her periods on that night and she has
not stop bleeding ever since then her cycle
was just not normal and the Dr had no clear
diagnoses.

Her mother on the other hand was just to

broken since the grandmother who
performed such evil act was diagnosed with a
mental disorder ever since that day as well
served her right .

Dr yet believe that the child has cancer and

they believed that by removing her womb the
blinding will eventually stop since it was
normal .
Bab Majozi felt the evil spirit in the room and
started cursing it out he prayed so much that I
did see that his prayers are being head in haven
the holy spirit will curse out any demon and evil
in this child after what felt forever in
connecting with the heaven finally the Lisa
lifted her upper body seat up straight and
screamed shoot her eyes open. It was a
miracle indeed an act of good versus evil God
work infect she looked at me

“ you … you saved me “

And she started crying it was just an

emotional feeling tears were shared and her
mother was kneeling down and thanking us for
saving her daughter

Bab’Majozi : “ we only came here to do God's

work and looks like our Job is done “

I wanted to stay behind and talk to the girl but

bab' Majozi told me that “ you healed her
help her to escape premature death the God
in you has help her know that was your duty
as a God servant never make it personal
you did not do nobody any favours so our job
is done here for now we still have lot of souls
to save “

And by him saying that I wish all the best for

Lisa and her family and should we cross paths
again I will do as God ask me to do. We left the
girls ward and I smiled for once in my life I felt
like I have made a difference I felt like this
calling thing is not bad as I thought .

Funny thing is when I thanked Pastor Majozi

he told me that today after his morning service
every time he close his eyes praying he saw the
word “ King George Hospital “ flashing in his
scripture but did not know what it meant and
why its was flashing he only realised that
when he bumped into me that I was the one
that was pulling him with prayer to come to this
place to do God's work he told me that he
had no appointment to visit any one here but
the holy ghost brought him here to help me
with this quest Creepy right ? yah very creepy
I was still shocked till he finally dropped me off
at my place .
“ its going to get tough from here onwards but
never lose faith and if you lose direction the
lord will make sure we bump to each other
again “

I wanted to know where his church is allocated

maybe attend there since the man is truly
anointed

“ will bump to each other my child I did not

help you to recruit you to be one of my church
member but I was there to tell you never
ignore the peaceful voice that speaks to you
because that the holy spirit himself “
Morning came and I felt like screaming dahm
I hate waking up I did have peaceful sleep last
night has not been like that for ages thanks to
Baba’ Majozoi that man can pray as hell school
was just bland a lot of school work as always I
was a bit behind with some homework that I
was suppose to do so today I kept to myself
trying to catch up Sindy was on another level
of acting very strange she was mad angry the
whole day Zoe was forever up and down
preparing the school valentines’ batch she
hated every minute of it cunt blame her I
would too if I was in her shoes well Mpume
was just stressing about her maths quiz that
coming up and the fact that her mother has
grounded her like really black people also do
that ? . after I finished up in the library I went
to the soccer ground that where we normally
hang out Zoe and Mpume were there
overheard them talking about Gugu yep that
girl those not give up she just a venom one
thing I notice is that Zoe is one crazy person
she will bring out the carload in her if you mess
with her .

Me “ she is just a tick “ I joined in the

conversation

they looked up and there saw me i smiled and

seat next to Zoe

me :” so free period and you decide to hide

from me “
Looking at Zoe

Her : “ naa i was busy with this valentine bash

thing and it's so annoying because I’m not
that kind of girl that into this things “

Mpume : “ my mom already ruled it out for me

so I’m not going “

Zoe : “ I’m also not going and you ? “

they looked at me while I just raised an

eyebrow

me :” I hate Valentine’s day so screw it “

Mpume : “ bad experience with love did you
get your heartbroken ? “

I laughed Mpume is always all up in

everyone’s business

me : “ Mpume I fuck and leave them sis no

attachments “

She dropped her mouth yep she a virgin that

expression said it all

Mpu : “ I know I’m under house arrest but let's

have our own pre valentine bash this
weekend at my house and I’m not taking no for
an answer “
me : “ but girl your mom sounds like I volcano
she can erupt any time and mina angzwani
nedrama “

We laughed I was not going to hang out with

dull Mpume I doubt she even drinks

Zoe :” it sounds like a plan come on Trey it

will be fun”

Mpu: “ Sindy has agreed “ she showed me an

sms from Sindys

aish I don’t know about this with my current

unstable life I don’t know going out will be ideal
mpu : “ please say yes I’m suffocating in that
house boredom is killing me “

me : “ ok count me in but sisi I need meat and

lot of it so prepper lunch “

she rolled her eyes while Zoe laughed we

went to class to get our bags Zoe gave us ride
she offered to drop me off my house but I
told her I’m cool she can drop me at the taxi
rank. I did not trust myself around her yes we
just started a new friendship I don’t want to
destroy that by showing that I feel her . I still
need to get to this idea of being in the friend
zone with the girl I really want to date.
Chapter 8

My happiness was short lived I thought that

when Bab’ Majozi prayed for me the dreams
and visions will go away but looks like he
suppressed them for a while I still had
disturbing images and have no clue what to
make of it.

It was now mid week and still the hype

formalities and preparation for the Valentine’s
school bash were in play the way I hate
Valentine’s day good lord give me straight.

I prepared myself from school and heard a

voice crying

“ please no I’m sorry “ I had lot of whips

lashes and women will cry in pain begging for
him to stop I looked on my full length mirror
and what I sow was just disturbing a man who
was wearing all black held a belt in his hand and
whipping the poor women who was curled up
on the floor

Man voice :” you don’t listen you do not

respect me you bloody useless “ another lash
on the poor women’s body I turned my face
away avoiding to look moments later the voices
stopped and my mirror did not have that image
I set down on my bed lost in thought what
was that now ? this image has been appearing
for the past three days now but what does it
mean?. I did what I know best seek for
guidance so I kneeled down on the floor and
prayed

“ father I come to you please help me

understand what this vision mean so I can
help her in the name of the father the son
and the holy ghost amen “ my phone beeped i
looked at it was Sindy I answered

“ hay what’s up ? “
She sniffed

Her : “ I’m.. not feeling well bro I emailed my

English Essay to your email address please print
it for me and hand it to Ms zwane “

Me : “ ooh ok get better soon “

Her : “ thank you I ow you one ok “

Me : “ don’t mansion it girl “

She sniffed and dropped call I took my bad

and walked out still confused about the vision
the house was quite guess Pam is not back yet
Pam has been putting on over time and endless
night shift this days we hardly see each other
which means I’m taking public transport again.

Upon arriving at school first thing I did was go

to the school library to print my Essay not
forgetting Sindy’s well Zoe is forever late so I
even gave up non waiting for her I always meet
her in the assembly area she clearly does not
take her duties of being head prefect serious

Her : “so what did I miss “ she bumped to me

breathing heavily I looked at her and laughed

Me : “ aren’t you supposed to be in front

standing next to fuck boy “
She rolled her eyes “ not in the mood bro so
uphi uSindy ?”

Me : “ sick not coming today “

She nodded “ have you noticed something

strange with her ? “

Me : “ who ? “ we were now walking to our

classroom assembly is just waste of time we
hardly pay attention to the speech address to
us

Her : “ Sindy “
Me : “ na why ? “

Her : “ I think she going through stuff she very

moody and she is acting out sow her doing un
appropriate things… “ we were interrupted by
Menzi

menzi : “ Zoe I can not cover for you every day

come on man “

Zoe : “ so early in the morning and you already

PMSing “

I laughed Zoe and Manzi fight like this all the

time I just left them there because I knew this
will go on and on it's like they sibling class
started and it was a drag finally lunchtime and i
can eat .

Voice 1“ every action has quansequancies “

V2: “ I don’t care I just want him to love me and

leave her “

V1: “ true love can not be broken by umuthi “

V2 : “ I will make him love me just give me

something that I can use on him to leave his
wife he should be with me “

V1: “ thatha lokhu intando le kumele

uyihlanganise with insila yakho you will need
to put it in his food drink or anything “

V2 : “ insila “

V1 : “ yebo model ‘c insila it can be your

vomit urine bath water add it and mix it
with this Muthi put in in his food or drink “

V2 : “ will he love me “

V1 : “ it will only be lust he can not love you

the way he loves his wife I told you that every
action has its coincidence he will never leave
his wife but he will sleep in you bed every night
but just know that you turning him to a
monster and should he find out about
this ….nci ..nci blood will be spill “

V2 : “ I will cross that bridge when I get to it

besides he will never find out I trust my
secret is safe with you right “

The two women were in a dark room lit with

candles I could only hear there voices and
shadows I could not see there faces it was like
my vision was blocked i knew that the other
one was either Sangoma or witch because she
kept on making the yawning sound and groans
like how sangomas do that I could distinguish
voice 1 I felt hands rubbing me slowly

“ Trey .. Trevor wake up my boy “

I lifted my head and I was in my class room it
was lunch time and I was alone in the
classroom with Ms Zwane standing in front of
me she placed her hand on my shoulder

Her : “ are you ok? “ the minute she touched

me the vision in the mirror appear clearly this
time and the crying women on the floor who
was being beaten up was her fuck I looked at
her in disbelief I could see beyond her clothes
her bruised body bruises under that thick
makeup she has on no ways this can not be
i shook my head

Her : “ Trevor what’s wrong why you looking at

me like that ? “
Me : “ how long has he been doing this to you ?

Her : “ excuse me ? ? “

Me : “ you hurting you blame yourself you

wish you could have been a better wife to him
you gave him your all but he still turned out
to be an monster in your life you have
question on why he beat you up like this what
happened to love you shared the man you
love”

she looked at me with glassy eyes and out of

nowhere she broke down I stood up I did not
know what to do me and my big mouth what
have I done kids where walking up and down
the corridors I decided to close the door
Her : “ how did you know ? “

How do I tell her that I saw her in my vision

with ought sounding crazy in the process

Me : “ you prayed and God answered I was

shown the pain you go through every day and I
did not see your face for the previous 3 days till
today “

Her : “ but why does he do this to me one

minute we happily married the next he turned
out to be an abusive man I feel like i married
a monster I wish I can take my life I can not live
in fear like this not any more “ she was howling
in a way that showed so much sorrow this
peaceful soul we call our English teacher ever
smiling kind heart and willing to go an extra
mile to help her student with there school work
is going through the most unbearable pain
she hides her pain with her ever worm smile
why hasn’t she left that abusive man why
does she choice to stay? why do women stay in
such relationship?

Her : “I feel like his bewitched or there is an evil

spirit that is has taken over him “

Voice whispered in my ear ““ it will only be lust

he can not love you the way he loves his wife I
told you that every action has its coincidence
he will never leave his wife but he will sleep in
you bed every night but just know that you
turning him to a monster and should he find
out about this ….nci ..nci “

Me : “I think so too look Ms Zwane my vision

come as sort of massage to people I have not
mustered my gift and have no control over it “

She wiped her face and looked at me “ you are

gifted ? “

I nodded and shook my head all at once I was

confused i can see what transpired but after
that I have no clue on how to help what kind of
Gift do I have ?

Me : “ I think you … I believe your Husband was

bewitched by one of his mistress there is war
inside his heart that fighting the love he has for
you and what he was giving to love the other
women since the muthi is not powerful to
brake your love it may lead to blood shared “

She held her mouth “ one of this day he may

beat you up and you may not wake up he is
capable of killing you since the entity in his
blood is turning him to this violent man he is
now “

She set down she was unable to apprehend

what I was saying to her I was also shocked at
the things that are coming out of my mouth
right now its like I open my mouth and
somebody else speak I’m not clued up about
witchcraft and evil entity where is this all
coming from ?
She held my hand “ Please Trevor help me
help my marriage please! “

Waite this women just believed everything I

said right now ? I scratched my head how can I
help a person when I don’t even know what I’m
doing myself I closed my eyes trying to think

Me : “ you need to consult with a prophet

who will use holy water to help you please
speak to an elderly person that you trust with
your life they will take you to him “

The school ball rang and i came back to my

senses ok what just happened right now ? i
took my bag and rushed out leaving Ms Zwane
calling my name I just did not turn back I have
no idea what’s happening to me. My last two
classes were just shady my mind was not there
I just wanted to get away from here and lock
myself in my room the final buzzer went off I
jumped like lighting and rushed home. Just
when I thought that I will finally get some
peace and quiet I found Pam in the house
God not now please I sign and greeted her she
kept quite ok that was first I looked at her and
she looked lost and boom she started crying I
rushed to her and kneeled in front of her

Me : “ hay what wrong ? “

She was just out of it she cried so much till she

had hiccups I made her sugar water to calm
her nerves down she is the only family I have
and seeing her in this state really scared me. it
took forever for her to calm down she raised
her head and looked at me

Me : “ what’s wrong sisi talk to me “

Her : “ I’m so sorry for doubting you .. I’m truly

sorry “

What ? what is she talking about ? there were

files scattered on the coffee table about a car
crash of some sort

Me : “ I don’t understand ? “

She composed herself “ I have been really

worried about you and I did not know how to
get through to you since out of sadden there
are things that you hide from me “

I set on the coffee table and looked at her

“ I did not mean what I did but it was the only

way I could find out what happening with you
please forgive me “

I was still puzzled on what she on about she

handed me my diary I felt my blood boiling

Me : “ you went through my stuff??? “

“ I’m sorry Trey but i was just so worried

about you lately strange things have been
happening to you “

Me : “ would it have killed you if you asked

Pam?!!! “

She shook her head and held my hands “ you

would have not told me the truth Trey face it
you hiding things from me! you don’t trust
me and your diary clearly indicated how you
feel about me “

I stood up I felt hot instantly I took off my

school blazer and started pacing up and down

reason i have diary is because I can not confide

in anyone about the crazy stuff I’m going
trough people have there own viewpoint on
the normal and with my dreams visions and
shit I have seen that just not normal in the
naked eye.

Her : “ I’m sorry Trey but I’m even more sorry

for making you feel like that I thought all
along I was looking out for your best interest
but all along I was breaking the sibling bond
that we once had by not believing and trusting
you … I’m so ..sorry “

I ran hands on my face it was a relief that she

knows what I have been going trough but
moving forward what now ? what will change ?
will she still see me as being a normal person?
Her : “ I want us to talk about stuff like this I
want to be there for you “

Me : “ thank you and I’m sorry for keeping stuff

from you it just one crazy shit after another I
feel like I’m losing my mind sis “

Her : “ so everything in your diary it's true ?

“ she had that worry look I just nodded and set
next to her

Me : “ look Its scary as fuck I don’t know how

to apprehend or deal with it right now but
somehow I feel like it's my destiny and my
calling “
Her : “ but Trey …. it just wow! ” she popped
her eyes in disbelief I shook my head like yah
I know story of my life I also feel like screaming
when this shit start I looked at her and we
had a moment of silent

me “ so tell me what is all of this ? “ looking at

docs and pics scattered around the room she
sigh and rubbed her hands together that what
she normally does when she is nervous

Her : “ after reading you diary I did some

snooping she sigh and rubbed her hands
together that what she normally does when she
is nervous
Her : “ after reading you diary I did some
snooping it took me a while to actually put all
the puzzled pieces together thanks to one of
the detectives at work that helped me out “

Me : “I’m lost please find me “ I frowned

Her : “ remember the incident last year when

you strike the two guys with lightning “

I shook my head and laughed “ I did no such “

She laughed “ yayaya the forces within you ke

that killed them “

What ? now I have killing forces ? she took my

diary and page through it this what she is doing
now is on another level of snooping in my
things in my presence yoo

Her : “ read here “

I read through it and looked at her “ what are

you saying Pam ?“

Her : “ its True “

Me : “ so you telling me that we are not

originally Michaels by blood ? “

She nodded and handed me a file the file was

about a hijacking gone wrong that happened 21
years ago in one of the highways in
Mpumalanga two kids were found on the side
of the road by one of the villagers that worked
in the fields. The kids were taken to nearest
hospital for observation since no one knew
there identity baby girl was two years and boy
was only 8 months. There were pictures of the
kids which sort of match the description of me
and Pam

Me : “ what is this Pam ? “

Her : “ I think our mother adopted us ? “

Me : “ what ? ? “
Her : “ mom worked in the maternity ward as a
matron at the hospital we were taken too two
toddlers were brought forward with no identity
later on we are raised by sister Michaels think
Trey it makes sense now the women in your
dreams the dashing guy in the bench that
looks like you ? ”

Me : “ hold up this is just too… hayboo? “

She stood up and handed me some docs it

was legal document foster care agreement
and legal adoption papers I stood up and
walked around one picture on the table caught
my eye it was a bunt car on the side of the road
I looked at Pam
Me : “ you telling me that our parents were
killed ? “

she just sank down and held her face

Her : “There were gun down based on the

bullet cartridge on the scene and car caught fire
or was it set on fire evidence is not clear of the
outcome “

Me : “ what about forensic ? where they able to

get DNA ? was the case even resolved ? any
clues ? “

She shook her head “ it was cold case no

leads no witnesses only infants that were
abended on the side of the road “

Me : “ wow “ I sank down as well I grew up

thinking I know who I am where I belong but
all along I was living a lie who am I?

The whole week going to school and back I was

just detached it was like I was there but not
there I did not want to interact with no one
I was a zombie Zoe and Sindy were trying
there level best to lift my spirit up but I was just
down besides how do i tell your friends that
i'm currently going through an identity crisis .

I became a bit worried about Mis Zwane who

has not showed up to school since our last
encounter I hope and pray she is ok .
Finally it was Saturday and I was not looking
forward to meeting with the girls today yes
Mpume has been nagging us the whole week
and it will be such a disappointment if we do
not met and turn up.

I have been down and under and was not

looking forward to be questioned by Mpume
with her 21 questions since I have been
avoiding her like a plaque the whole week

i woke up very late today and very grumpy for

what I don’t know I’m just one of those
people who are very moody and i don’t take
bull shit I was sitting by the kitchen counter
on one of the bar stool eating a plain yogurt my
sister walked in she was wearing her uniform.

Pam is two years older than me and the only

sibling I got or let me say that I know off with
the knew information that was dished out to
me few days back I have no clue about my
bloodline and my family tree.

Things turned a bit sour in the house after we

found out about our parents passing yes we
did struggle a bit along the years with me being
sick all the time and my mother's old age
creeping in but nevertheless we did have a
good life I’m grateful to have been raised in
worm home taught the value of prayer by a
women who never gave me any doubt that she
was not my biological parent.
Pam : “ hay how are you doing ? “

She smiled at me she looks more like my

mom ‘ our biological mom the one in my
dreams‘ every day and reminds me of her with
her smile I just looked at her and continued
with what I was doing.

Her : “ it's one of those days I see ? “

Me : “ drop it pam I’m not in the mood “

She raised her hand to surrender she made

tea and went to her room I looked at the time it
was almost 13:00 she was working night shift
this days and also put in extra hours of over
time I don’t know how she does it she hardly
sleep but when times are tough you have to
do what you have to do.

I took my phone from the charger and I sent

Mpume a WhatsApp message to send me her
home address I did not see a point in drowning
in sorrow the whole day a bit of fun may
distract me from all of this thought that are
invading my head .

She responded in an instant and she told me

that we will no longer going to hang indoors
because her mom is around and she is spitting
fire but we can chill at Zoe house a bit go to
the mall and go for shisa nyama later she got
my attention when she said “ shisa nyama “ I
dragged my feet to the bathroom took shower
and felt refreshed afterwards i lotioned and i
dressed up put on my black levis Jean lizard
black t-shirt with black carvela I left a note on
the fridge for my sister “ gone out see ya later !
“ took my wallet and phone and I was out I
really hate public transport but I still had a long
way to go before I can overcome my fear to
drive I can not get over the fact that ‘ the dead
nurse aka Bright mom ‘ almost killed me while I
was driving.

My day was just fun a lot of laughter and

acting crazy I had a blast time with my girls yep
we did go to shisa Nyama and I finally let my
hair down I was a bit scared of what might
happened with my visions and what not but
surprisingly today I was just a normal teen
Zoe could not make it to our get together and
did not even tell us her reason for not showing
up we couldn't even get hold of her on her
phone shit it was bummer but nevertheless
the show had to go on.

Me : “ ok guys the meat was delicious but

what are we drinking now ? “

Sindy : “ I’m currently not stable financially but I

would like to drink something with a kick…
“ Sindy was distracted and her eyes popped out
ow fuck another fuck boy crashing our day

Guy :” mom ‘ mfundisi ufunani la” he was all

glued up on Mpume
we looked at her and bust out and laughed
wow she an open book for sure so that what
they call her around here

Mpume : “ nxa hasuka Zweli stop calling me

that”

Guy : “ if you are here where is my sister ? “

I looked at him

Mpume : “bits me we suppose to have a friends

chill time before exams but dololo “

her sister ? wow is he Zoe brother ?

Sindy: “ was this not suppose to be a pre –
valentine thing for us who are currently single
and willing to mingle “

wow Sindy what the hack that just too obvious

the guy can see through you that you flatting

Mpume cleared her throat and looked at Sindy

rolled her eyes while this guy had a side smile
fuck his one of the predators and Sindy is
looking more like his prey at this point I cleared
my trough since this was a bit awkward for me
and walked to the bar I bought 6 pack of castle
lite and made my way to our table

Mpume : oh Zweli this are my friends Sindy

and…… that is Trey “
Pointing at me as I set down I just nodded

Mpume : “ thought when you said you getting

drinks you were talking about .... “

I did not let her finish because she was going

to embarrass herself

me : “ you thought what?! 2lt coke haybo cc

people drink this kind of stuff la “ I opened a
can and down it while mpume just looked at
me in disbelief

zweli : “ since you not drinking anything can I

get you anything? “
his eyes were fixed on sindy who was just all
smiling and blushing well not my business she
is old enough fuck who ever

Mpume : “ yes please soft drink for me “ miss

china eyes Sindy looked at me and frowned

Sindy : “ and that look ? “

Me : “ be careful you he wants to smash and

run “

Sindy : “ maybe that what I want as well “

Yoo who’s the whore next to me and what

happened to my friend ?

Sindy : “ I can show you what I want can we

go together to get drinks? “

this girl was forward too forward she stood

up and did that cat walk well she has legs for
days to show off I told myself that you know
what I’m in a chilled space no visions no
ghost appearing let me enjoy my day and just
let loose what suppose to be a day of 3
friends drinking together turned out to be
halla of crazy night Zweli friends joined us on
our table well after Zweli did a quick intro I
figure that

Bongani was a clown and all about the girls and

trying to get some The one called Sbu was just
child and talk when spoken too .

Sindy and Zweli were exchanging spit like crazy

but nobody minded them Mpume started
bugging me telling me that her Boyfriend
will kill her she lost track of time hanging with
us

Mpume : “ ooh shit Trey help me this man is

going to kill me “

I was about to stand up you know Try and cum

the guy down I mean no one will touch my
friends while I’m around
Me : “ where is he ? “

Mpume almost peed herself “ there he is his

coming “ she pointed at this huge buffed up
guy with straight face that does not take
nonces

I pope my eyes wow that beast “ sorry girl

you on your own" i turned my head and looked
away while Mpume made her way to her man
yoo I’m too pretty and skinny to get a bit down
from that beast

Sbu : “ and where is mom Mfundisi ? “ he asked

while sitting down he has been on his phone
the whole night
Me “ she is gone BF fetched her” I made a
mental note to call her when I get home

Pam was blowing my phone like crazy shit who

made her my mother now. After few hrs of
getting sloshed Sbu offered to drive me home
Sindy and Zweli did a disappearing act on us

The minute we got in the car he pumped up the

speakers with drake – hotline ~~~

You used to call me on my you used to you

used to

You used to call me on my cell phone

Late night when you need my love

Call me on my cell phone

Late night when you need my love ~~~

We sang along while dabbing fuck what a night

I forgot that I even have killer messed up
problems in my life this should be my life
right

Him : “ this was fun bro we should hang out

sometimes“

Me : “ most definitely “ we fist bump and he

dropped me outside my house I struggled to
open the lock my keys kept on falling down till
finally I unlocked the door the minute I
walked in I almost fainted when I saw

Pam seating by the kitchen counter she bust

out and laughed

Me : “ that not funny man “

Her : “ dahm you drunk “ she continued to

laugh

I thought she will be all up in my trout but nop

she just helped me walk to my room and the
minute my head hit the pillow I was off
Chapters 9

what got you all smiling like this ? “ Pam was on

another level of being happy I wonder what’s
up with her she was even humming a tune

Her : “ apparently I got a stalker or let me just

say a secretive admirer “
I laughed “ what idiot can actually stalk you
vele ? “

She laughed

” funny story is I pulled him over few weeks

back gave him speeding ticket he wanted my
number I gave him another ticket and when he
was checking me out I lost it and wrote a ticket
of R2500 for harassing an officer “

I was in stitches Pam really can she ever lighten

up ?

Her : “ any way since that day his been calling

all metro policy office in the CBD area
requesting to speak to a light skin officer with a
huge ass that worked in the m62 highway mid
Jan

I chuckled so hard what !

Me : “ didn’t he see your name badge “

Pam : “ how could he if his eyes were fixed on

my ass “

I bust out and laughed its moments like this

that I cherish the most I always pray that they
last forever when me and Pam cuddle in sofa
and catch up I’m glad that she off duty today
and decided to spend her day with me .
We mended our issues and we working on
making our relationship work this time around
with a lot of communication and spending time
together I can overcome my trust issues with
her .

She still finds it strange or should I say fails to

believe that I have a calling she is in a mission
of looking for a powerful prophet that can help
me channel my Gift or make her understand
and believe what I’m going trough I think it's
more about her than its about me .

We were not raised to believe in traditional

stuff and we not clued up about ‘ amadlozi’
only option we have is to Pray and hope that
whatever this calling is it's a gift from God .

Her : “ so have you made your move on Zoe? “ I

looked at here where did she get that from
my mind finally registered she read my diary I
hit her with a pillow

Me : “ damn pam you were not suppose to read

about that “

She was giggling like crazy “ but you wrote it

there nje and I happened to read it stop
hitting me you going to give me headache “

Me : “ you know what … you are noisy ”

Her : “I’m not … I just … well you know the
reason why I went through your diary “

I rolled my eyes and she bust out and laughed

“ that so gay “

Me : “ you know Pam you need a dick in your

life konje when last you got laid ? … oohh
your matric dance with that white guy like two
– three years ago ? “

Her : “ Trey cut it off “

Me : “ I believe you still a virgin because there

was no dick there at all “
She hit my shoulder and I laughed “ … that’s a
low blow “

She said pouting I gave her side hug and kissed

her forehead “ sorry sisi “

Her : ‘ tell me more about Zoe and I will forgive

you ke “

I chortled she not going to let this go I see

Me : “ she is a crazy coloured chick loud

outspoken laughs like a hyena geniuses like
Einstein she has banging body … well she just
wow when it comes to being beautiful “
“ come on Trey she for keeps why haven’t you
made your move ? “

Me : “ we kind’of friends … infect she friend

zoned me “

Her : “ come on when did you become coward ?

“

Me : “ well girls like Zoe are just rear breed and

boys who date them are just obsessed with
them I don’t want to be skinned alive by her
crazy boyfriend “

I sank back on the couch I can not

complicates my relationship with Zoe she has
good thing going with her boyfriend from
what she has told me they have history one of
those magical love that was designed and
created for the two of them only I was
brought back to planet earth when our doorbell
rang

Pam : “ expecting any one ? “

I squinted my eyes and she laughed

Me : “ I wish it can be your stalker he finally got

your address and ready to tap that ass “

Pam : “ fuck you “

she threw a pillow at me and I laughed while
she stood up to attend to the door minutes
later she cleared her trout I looked up and I
held my breath

Me : “ Ms Zwane ?… what are you ? … I min

hi … “

she smiled the ever worm smile of hers

Her : “ hallo Trevor how are you doing ? “

I shocked on my saliva what do you think ? I

mean how do you even know where I stay ?
this is just an invasion of my privacy
Me : “ I’m good thank you for asking mam “

I looked at her she looks different she is

dressed in all black she even has matching head
scarf on her head wow no it can not be … she is
grieving.

Pam : “ can I get you something to drink ? “ I

looked at Pam … what the fuck Pam you know
that we only going to buy grocery next week
when you get paid the only thing in our fridge
right now is water we can not offer her tear /
coffee on this hot weather I gave Pam ‘THE
WHAT THE HACK LOOK’ while she shrug her
shoulders

M/zwane : “ don’t worry yourself I’m all good

and I’m not staying that long“

Me : “ please come sit down ah sorry about

the mass “ the house was untidy indeed we did
not make any effort in cleaning up today well
who am I kidding we just don’t clean period
unless we expecting Jesus to visit which he
normally does not visit as in never visit at all .

Ms Zwane seat down I just realised that our

house is just cramped up but for me and Pam
its homely because its our space

Her : “ I haven’t spoken to you since that day ..

“ she looked up and Pam who was just looking
at her with her big eyes not even blinking
Me : “ Pam … sister dearest may you kindly give
us some space “

Pam : “ oh … k “ I laughed I know she will still

eardrop any way so I don’t know why she
want to be so obvious by just standing here I
smiled and my focus shifted back to my guest

Me : “ sorry about that … so how have you

been ? “

Her : “ that a dumb question to ask Trevor look

at me “

Me : “ what happened ?
Her : “ you the seer why you never told me
about this ? the outcome of it all ? “

Me : “ aaah I’m sorry but I can only see the past

and present-day not the future mam “

Her : “ my husband died Trey I did like you

asked consulted with my mother who took me
to well known Mthandazi I was cleansed and I
was told that whatever dark evil witchcraft that
was surrounding my marriage will be lifted off
it was lifted off indeed and my husband was
back on his senses when I finally thought that
things will go back to normal my husband did
not handle the truth pretty well so he went to
pay his mistress a visit but things turned sour
when the mistress stabbed him countless time
she did not take rejection easily and now I’m
thinking what if you did not intervene in my life
what would have happened ? “

Me : “ I’m really sorry… as I said i can not see

the Future mam “

She laughed and looked around “ are you ? are

you really sorry ? “

Ok this woman is tripping now how is this my

fault vele ?

Me : “ mam what ever happened that day I

had no control over it”

Her : “ you told me to go to a powerful

sorceress in order to help my Husband and my
marriage but that only lead to him dying! “

She was crying now fuck this women blames

me for the death of her husband

her: if only I did not listen to you ngabe u

-Thulani wami uyaphila that witch who
bewitched him drove him to his grave “

I was still puzzled as shit konje how is this my

fault ? I mean I only saw glimpse of what’s
happening in her life I’m not God I did not see
the future of what will happen next.

Me : “ I’m sorry … “ that all I could say what

else does she expect from me ?

Her “ save it Trevor … you have done enough!!

this thing you have… It's evil and I pray that
GOD answers my prayers because no ways will
my husband dearth not be avenged you
drove him to An early grave you are cursed!!!!
you are evil .. !!!!“ she was shouting on her
feet if she could she would have jumped me
on that spot I just looked down

Pam : “ hay!!! lady I think it's time you get

stepping “

Her : “ I did not intend to stay any way your

brother is devil himself preying on innocent
souls but trust me the lord will answer me l
pray you burn in hell wena “

Pam : hay suka what was so innocent about

your cheating abusive husband who fuck
witches fokof leave my house before I pop
your cap NXA!! “

Ms Zwane was shocked Pam was holding her

Gun and she meant business I was even shock
myself

Her : “Umeleni Ngithe Phuma mani “ she

practically chassed Ms Zwane away and
forcefully pushed and shoved her out Ms
Zwane continued to call me all kind of names
Ms Zwane continued to call me all kind of
names she was cursing and crying I just sank
down this was humiliating for goodness
sake I understand the women is grieving but
why am I being blamed for this ? or I’m really
the one to blame ? if only I kept my mouth shut
I made my way to my bedroom I locked myself
in Pam was banging on the door like a mad
person

Pam : “ Trey please open … Trey … ! it's not

your fault i'll be damned if you start blaming
yourself … please open this door “

My mind was clouded I can not believe I hurt

Ms Zwane so much all along I thought I was
helping her if this gift of mine come with pain
and dearth I don’t want it NO! God can take it
please i fealty tears burning my eyes my chest
was tight I could not breath what have I
done? … I just wailed I have felt all sort of
ways in my life but not even once I felt like I’m
a monster a murderer ?

Can I be the reason for the man’s Dearth ? how

will I ever face Ms Zwane ? I feel like this
situation would have been prevented if if i only
kept to myself how would i handle the
speculation will I be investigated for murder
case ? I’m not ready to handle this to be
judge and people looking at me different Lord
please I can not … if this so called gift is
suppose to help people why didn’t I help Ms
Zwane I was suppose to help her.

The names she called me kept ringing in my

ears and I could not stop my tears from falling.
maybe I am cursed I set on those cold tiles in
my room for hours trying to calm the anxiety
attacks .

My mind was busy asking me one question

“ what have you done ? “ Pam called out my
name

Pam : Trey …"

I could not face her Pam never understood

what I go trough she doubted me from day
one and what happened today just made it
worse

Pam: its ok Trey I understand I told you that we

will figure this out together please don’t shut
me out remember that you not alone “

Silent

I could not answer her I lost my voice how do

i justify my actions another man's blood on my
hands

Pam “ Have I not commanded you? Be strong

and courageous. Do not be afraiddo not be
discouraged for the Lord your God will be with
you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9 “

I signed listening to her say those words I felt

sense of peace I placed my head on door why
me kodwa why choice me God?
Pam : Let us not become weary in doing good
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if
we do not give up. - Galatians 6:9 “

I set down my back against the door I felt like

the weight on my shoulder was slowly being
lifted off just when I was throwing in the
towel Pam reminded me that what I’m doing is
not about me or about what people will think
of me or what it may look like in the naked eye
if the voice inside me want to speak why must
be afraid to pass on the massage I may not
write the future or know what it holds but I
know the now… the present

Me : “ I’m scared Pam I really am “ i said

softly " why me why all of this is happening to
me i'm not strong enough for this shit "

She sniffed

Pam : “ the Bible says "For I know the plans I

have for you” declares the Lord “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you plans to give
you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Pam : “ break the chain of fear because by

having doubt / fear you allowing the devil to
creep in stand tall this was one of many
barriers you will face remember that Jesus
Christ was crucified and call names all his life no
one believed in him that he was truly the Son of
God our Saviour and why will people believe
you ? “

I stood up and opened the door she engulfed

me on hug we were raised as Christians all our
lives by our mother at some point I lost my
footing but Pam’s faith remained the same still
strong she may not go to church everyday
due to her working awkward hrs but she does
not sleep with ought reading the bible or
praying

Her : “ I’m really sorry if I knew that she will

dish out such shit and call you names I would
have not let her in “

Me : “ its ok pam … I’m good now “ I looked at

her “ thank you so much you truly are God sent
“

Her : “ you the one with the Gift and me I just

have my faith “

Me : “ and together we unstoppable “

We hugged again the day went by with ought

me feeling sad sorry or even angry I knew
that I had no control of what’s going to happen
to a person life I am after all just a human
being a boy who is seer and has no control of
his ability this so called gift but i'll take it
one day at time and figure it out.

When something unpleasant happens people

naturally will try to come up with an
explanation for it blame other... shift the blame.
Their explanations are based on their own
emotions skill sets and acquired knowledge.
Pam shook me and placed her head on my lap

Her : “ hay you still have not told me what

you did to that women “

I signed and looked at her

Me : “ its long story Sisi … that I will write in my

diary that you will read at some stage “

We laughed
Her : “you no different than Heman the king's
seer in the bible just remember that some
days will be worthwhile some will be toucher “

I laughed we were cuddling in the couch

watching some boring Tv series so here goes
nothing I decided to tell her everything and
Pam being observant in the small details of
every story she came back with the most
profound explanation

Pam : “ you vision indicated that the witch said

that should the husband find out that he was
bewitched blood will be spilt “

I raised my head and looked at her she smiled

Her : “ nothing stay hidden forever the fate of
that man was already written for him then
who are we to stand in God's way “

i smiled as well

Chapter 10

Beep! .. beep !“ ahhh ! “ I rolled over and hit

the alarm clock with my pillow fuck I hate
Mondays why do I have to wake up ? who
invented this day whyyyyyy! I drag my tired
exhorted body to the bathroom to bath now I
regret overdose on painkillers last night I’m
so drowsy taking a bath did not help at all I just
wish I can just crawl back to bed and sleep the
whole day after dressing up I took my
backpack and phone and made my way to the
kitchen I was constantly yawning and my eyes
were half open I really did not feel my body
today i noticed a note on the Fridge read it out
loud :

“ off to work made soft porridge … have good

day and don’t leave the house with ought
praying… love you “

I smiled dished up for myself and dug in I

checked the time and I was kind of running late
shit I rushed out took a taxi and just put my
headset on 45 min later I jumped off and took a
short walk to school.

“ Trey “ I looked behind me Sindy was rushing

to me she had a funny walk that made me
laugh in process

Me : “ what happened with you why you

walking like duck “

She rolled her eyes and held on to my arm as

way of support

Me : “ yes I’m listening talk “

Her : “Lucky happened you know I hate that
man with passion “

Me : “ boy friend ? “

She hit my arm “ no my father you dump ass “

Me : “ what did you do ? “

She shook her head she was about to answer

when Mpume made a dramatic appearance

Mpume “ you little slut your phone was off the

whole weekend what happened ? “ Mpume hit
Sindy arm
Sindy : “ ouch yaa finish me off bitch !“

Mpume : “ you left with Zweli on Saturday and

you come back to school with a funny walk
zithini ? “

Sindy : “ and I regret it “

I’m not going to listen to this help me lord

Mpume : “ did you … I hope you did not ? “ the

way mpume popped her eyes i just cracked up

Me : “ yep that my queue I’m not going to

listen to yawl talk about this shit “
I shook my head and attempted to speed off
but Sindy held on to my arm

Sindy : “ and what if I did ? “

I laugh

Me : “ you just got played girl hope you used

a condom “

Mpume : “ NO sindy how could you … ? he has

a girlfriend how can you give him your pride
like that “

Sindy : “ Mpume I ain’t no virgin so I have no

pride what’s so ever I was drunk and we had
fun so yeah if he wants to have more fun than
why not I’m game excuse me I have to speak to
my Netball couch “ she limped away from us

Me : “ close your mouth Mpume flies might get

in “ the look on Mpume face was priceless

Mpume : “ you think we should tell Zoe? “

without thinking twice i said “ NO!”

Her “ but Trey I can not keep secrete from Zoe

she needs to know that Zweli is Preying on her
friends “

Me : “ well I can besides its not our business

and I think Zweli was a victim here then Sindy “

I made my way to class brushing Mpume off

too my surprise Zoe was already in class this
was strange she is early Zoe is never early She
was just looking outside the window lost in
thought

Me : “ hay “

She wiped her face and turned to look at me

she gave me faint smile

Her : “ morning Trey “ I placed my bag on my

desk and pulled a chair to seat next to her
Me : “ what’s wrong “

She shook her head trying to avoid the question

I felt her pain her emotional distress and
inner voice that was just screaming for help I
was not going to let this go I had to try by all
means to help her trust me I’m still terrified
of allowing that part of me to see people's pain
and what they going trough since I had a bad
experience with Ms Zwane but if I suppress
my ability to help others what will that make of
me ? I can not seat back and ignore the voice
inside of me.

Me : “ hay talk to “ she was nervous and broken

at the same time her glassy eyes told me
everything that I need to know with ought her
saying a word
Her : “ my life is falling apart I’m in love with
guy that my Father hates I thought that after
the miscarriage my father will learn from his
mistake and try and mend things with me ...you
know realise his wrongs .. “

She laughed and shook her head in disbelief

Me : “ he still has not forgiven you ? “ she

shook her head

Her : “ NO ! instead he cursed me he calls me

names he has broken me in ways I can not
describe I asked myself if he is really is my
biological father or not ? no father can be so
ruthless like he is to me “
she held her face while I pulled her close and
gave her hug she broke down and cried

Me : “ Zoe listen here this is not your fault

stop blaming yourself for things you have no
control over remember that as much as we
show love for the people we call family we can
never change their heart to be good that
basically the journey they need to take on their
own hate consumes a person so much that
they start to be blinded by all the good we do
for them that not our fault they are the ones
that have a problem “

Her : “ he kicked me out of his house as if that

was not enough he still had a go ahead and
beat me up killing my baby in process just
because he hate the man I fell in love with that
impregnated me why cunt he except that I’m
happy Langa makes me happy “

She cried on my shoulder and that just broke

my heart

Me : “I believe that everything happens for a

reason. People change so that you can learn to
let go things go wrong so that you appreciate
them when they're right you believe lies so you
eventually learn to trust no one but yourself
and sometimes good things fall apart so better
things can fall together.”

Her : “ Trey I don’t know what to do I love

Langa so much he completes me and yet again I
feel like I’m choosing him over my family yet
again I hate my father for what he put me
through he is not even remorseful my
family is just wrecked apart because I fell in
love with wrong guy “

Her : “ he kicked me out of his house as if that

was not enough he still had a go ahead and
beat me up killing my baby in process just
because he hate the man I fell in love with that
impregnated me why cunt he except that I’m
happy Langa makes me happy “

i sigh and brushed her arm she looked so

broken
Me : “ We experience a lot of things in life that
do not pass There are some areas in life that
leaves a scar like a long ago injury it’s
evidence… Look life never promises that if
you simply wait it out life will get better. What
it does say is that “the things which are not
seen are eternal”.

She wiped her tears and looked at me “ when

did you become so smart “ she gave me shallow
smile

Me : “ well I woke up like this “ she giggled and

shook her head the school bell rang
commanding us to go to the assembly

Me : “ miss head prefect can we dodge the

bullet today and not attend this boring
assembly please “

Her : “ yaaah why not I’m not in the mood as

well to be in public “

Me : “ thank you “

Her : “ so talk me what went down on Saturday ?

“

I laughed and told her that about Saturday

events leaving out the part that Sindy left with
her brother she was shocked that Mpume
boyfriend drag Mpume out and the fact that
Mpume was in a local chisa nyama where they
sell alcohol and shit “

Her : “ Mpume is really coming out of her shell

this days “

Me : “ next thing we know she will be having

sex and drinking “|

We laughed so hard till we head a voice

disturbing our peace

Menzi : “ really Zoe ? you setting bad example

for every one why you did not attend the
assembly “

Zoe : “cut me some slack please I did ask to

be head prefect so get off my back “

He shook his head and handed her a memo

Her : “ what’s is this ? “

Menzi : “ I understand that you can still read

right “

He walked out while Zoe went through the

Memo

Me : “ and then ? “ she held her mouth

Her : “ Ms Zwane Husband passed away “

Me : “ ooh shame that sad “|

I looked down

Her : “well looks like she not going to be on

duty the whole week and the principal wants us
to raise funds for her “

Me : “ that at least what we can do to show our

condolences “

Me : “it's so sad shame I wonder how she is

coping ? “

Me : “ yaa its sad “

I was still not keen in talking about Ms Zwane
the topic just rubbed me the wrong way I’m not
feeling guilty of any sort but I just feel uneasy
about the fact that she blames me for the
dearth of her husband.

i hanged in the class room with Zoe and talked

a lot even gossip about few people.

We had two free period After the assembly

the teachers were stressing about Ms Zwane
ordeal while kids were all about what to wear
on the school valentine’s bash that's on friday

Me and Zoe decided to seat outside on our

usual spot she still felt kind of clingy and a bit
lost I allowed her to hold on to me and confide
in me she opened up to me about a lot of
things I was overwhelmed that she trusted me
so much but also very grateful that I was here
for her.

I get where she coming from I mean she has

been through a lot she was disowned she
went through a miscarriage her father is still
not approving or excepting her relationship
with her boyfriend and now her boyfriend
wants to pay for damages for Zoe and do a
cleansing ceremony for her since she lose the
baby.

Me : “ and I thought I had problems “

Her : “ to top it up I’m not even a believer in
stuff like this “ she placed her head on my
shoulder

Me : “ Langa must really love you to take such

responsibility from where I see it he sees the
future with you “

She sigh

her “ I’m just in limbo at this point I wish

Langa gave me heads up about this before
consulting with my family behind my back “

me : “ well matters like this evolve alders not

you he was just doing the right thing “
her : yah right the very same family alders that
do not approve of our relationship fuck I hate
my life “

Me : you know what stop beating yourself up

about this just Sit with the pain until it passes
and you will be calmer for the next one Out
of all the suffering you went trough you have
emerged to be the strongest souls the most
massive characters that I know you are still
seared with scars but still stand up you truly are
remarkable You just need to do you and forget
about what people will say or think . You force
yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one
foot before the other and you refuse to let it
get to you. You fight. You cry. Then you go
about it that just a business of living”
She smiled at me " thank you " she said softly

Me : That’s how I’ve done it the shit I’m going

through right now will leave you astonished but
I just live for the moment and have faith that
whatever is thrown at me it will never be a
burden that I can not handle There’s no other
way but just to push on. “

Her : “ wow ! thank you “

Me : “ don’t mention it There’s no other way

but just to push on. “

Her : “ wow ! thank you “

Me : “ don’t mention it you have cried
enough Zoe allow your heart to be happy
now put yourself first “

I gave her a side hug I really like Zoe but as

much as I want to be more than just a friends
with her I realised that me and her can never
be I’m going through lot of shitty stuff that
will mess up her life even more she needs a guy
who can only put a smile on her face right now
who will love her and give her undivided
attention I breath out loud I guess letting go
is tough but I just wish the best for Zoe and this
Langa guy proves to be the greet guy .

school bell rang disturbing us from our silent

moment Zoe told me she had to go and
attend to her prefect duties we hugged and
she rushed off leaving me seating there and
looking at her .

The day continued to drag with back to back

classes . finally lunch break time came Sindy
remained behind with me busy fiddling on her
phone . I was still feeling very tired and drowsy
my first thought was to take a power nap so i
placed my head on the desk my mind just
drifted to last week events when I took a nap in
class and i thought about the dream I had if
only I did not sleep maybe Ms Zwane fate will
be different Maybe I should send my
condolences to her but what can I do to show
my deepest condolences to her with ought her
hating me even more?
Sindy “I hate man yezwa first he fucked me
with no ramose left me in his bed for whole
day and decided to kick me out later at
night … and that led me getting a beating from
my father because of him and now his not
taking my calls fuck ! “

She threw her phone on her desk in frustration

Me : “ I told you he wanted to tap and run

why you catching feelings nawe ? “ I didn't even
raise my head to look at her

Sindy : “ Zweli came across very different Trey

he just aahhh... how can I put it … ? “
Me : “ we are still talking about the same Zweli
right? Zoe brother who fuck you and now he
is not taking your calls? …how different is he?
from all the fuck boys of this world “ I looked
up ooh shit Zoe and Mpume were standing
there and Zoe just turned pink

Mpume : “ aish “ she held her mouth

Zoe : “ Sindy wenzeni ? “

Sindy : “ it's not what you think Zoe I was drunk

and it just happened “

Zoe: “ but he is my brother I thought you are

my friend how could you ??? “

Zoe was shouting and pointing her finger at

Sindy I stood up and stood between the two
girls

Me : “ Zoe come down “ looking at her

Sindy : “ I told you I was drunk how mfethu

besides the fact that his your brother does not
make him less of a man I sow a guy mina not
your brother why you making this a big
deal ?” sindy was getting really annoyed at
Zoe's attitude now

Zoe : “ sisi are you even listening to yourself

my brother has a girlfriend and he was just
using you why did you allow that ? “

Me : “ come down Zoe this is not your Business

“ sindy yelled

Sindy : “ I’m old enough to make my own

decisions!! besides its takes two to tango I
don’t regret it and where was his girlfriend
when I was with him come-on Zoe don’t act
like Zweli’s Mother we only had fun so take
chill pill please nxa “

Sindy walked pass Zoe and walked out I looked

at Zoe she was so pissed
Her : “ you two Knew about this ? and you did
not tell me ? come on guys? “

She also walked out leaving me and Mpume

standing there like wet chickens “ hallo! what
the fuck did I do now ? come on Zoe!! “ I
yelled at Zoe who just gave me a figure.

****

Days went by as much as Zoe forgave me she

was still not talking to Sindy it was Wednesday
now and still my two friends are not talking I
tried so hard to be a mediate but looks like the
two girls are not budging at least they were
keeping my mind busy with there cat fight
which is kind of hilarious.
Vision of Ms Zwane's wedding were bit
troubling since I did not know what the fuck it
means in the vision she is happy full of life
she just radiant I always shook it off since it
was just not seating well with me the women is
grieving and hates my guts the last thing I need
is to worry her about this visions that I have no
clue at all what the fuck they mean .

i walked to the library I still have not find right

words to put on my poem that I was planning
on writing for miss Zwane Yah I decided that at
least what I can do is write a poem for her I
mean I brought this sadness upon her so might
as well feel sympathetic about my actions The
memorial service was tomorrow and I’m still so
very blank its like my mind is not processing
her lose at all I spotted Mpume on one of the
tabled glued up on whatever she was doing

Me : “ Mam ‘Mfundisi “

Her : “ Ngizokuphoxa don’t start with me “

We laughed I set down opposite her

Me : “ how you doing “

Her : “ good just tired of putting extra effort

in studying I wish my mind was like yours guys
to process everything quickly at one go “
Me : “ need any help ? “

Her : “ naa I’m good I’m almost done any way “

Me : “ cool “ I took out my phone and browse

through facebook but remembered one thing
why is Mpume not helping out with Zoe and
Sindy situation vele ?

Me : “do you think that things will settle down

between Zoe and Sindy ? “

her: “ I’m busy Trey and I told you angizngeni

“

I laughed and placed my phone aside

me :” but nawe you should have talked to Zoe
nje “

she looked at me

her : why me ? “she looked at me and frowned

me: you know how crazy she gets so help nawe

phela ”

her : “ she is too moody this day and I don’t

want to be her punching bag she will come
around hopefully “

I decided to fish around for information

regarding Zoe I bite my lip and looked at
Mpume

me : “ besides the Sindy thing what else is

bugging her ? “

her : “ just family problems that what she said

she did not say much but her boyfriend is in
town so we hardly have time to talk ”

Come to think of it something is really off with

Zoe she just isolating herself from us and I don’t
know if I should talk to her or allow her to come
to me when she is ready to talk .

I decided to drop the interrogation with

Mpume and focus on my own dilemma of
writing an unwritable poem I stood up and
walked to The English literature aisle I ran my
hands on this old looking books till one book
dropped on my feet it was old book very
dusty to be in this bookshelves curiously killed a
cat so I started paging through it and my mind
zoned out I set down on the floor there was
page inside the book that read :

~~~~Today we begin our lives together. I

promise before our families and our friends to
be your faithful husband I choose to live with
you as your lover your companion and your
friend loving you when life is peaceful and
when it is painful; during our successes and
during our failures. I support your strengths and
accept your weaknesses. I will honour your
goals and dreams trying always to encourage
your fulfilment. I will strive to be honest and
open with you sharing my thoughts and my life
with you. I promise to love and cherish you
from this day forward~~~~

I looked up trying to figure what is this ? I

flipped the page over it read :

" she not angry at you but at me for leaving

her - remind her off our wedding vows …. Also
turn to page 65 that's her favourite poem she
will come to term with my passing “

I was about to say something but words failed

me i kind of dropped my mouth open in shock I
page through the dusty book when I looked
up Mr Zwane just nodded at me with a faith
smile I breath out loud and read through the
poem :

~~~~

Don’t remember me with sadness

Don’t remember me with tears

Remember all the laughter

We’ve shared throughout the years.

Now I am contented That my life it was

worthwhile

Knowing as I passed along the way I made

somebody smile.

When you are walking down the street And

you’ve got me on your mind

I’m walking in your footsteps Only half a step

behind.

So please don’t be unhappy Just because I’m

out of sight

Remember that I’m with you Each morning

noon and night.
~~~~~~

Me : “wow “ I set back and looked at the book

I paged to the first page : JGZ high

School LIBRARY - year 1994 - L Zwane -Last

student who borrowed the book

Voice : “ here you are I have been looking for

you all over can we chat please“

I looked up the principal was standing in front

of me

Me : “ yes mam “ I stood up

Principal : “ so tomorrow you know that is Mr
Zwane memorial service .. Ms Zwane Husband “

I just nodded looking all sort of confused

Principal : “ I still can not believe that one of

our own passed on can you believe that he
was one of Students at this school Matriculated
in year 1992 or was it … “

Me : “ 19…94 “ i mumbled she looked at me

surprised

Her : “ did you know Lwazi Zwane ? Ms Zwane

husband ? … he was a very intelligent boy he
was part of the debate team and he was always
feeding his brain with English literature in this
very same library “

To be shocked was an understatement I was

just in daze my eyes were fixed on the book
in my hand

Principal :we going to need you to represent

the school"

me ; me?"

her : yebo you and Menzi I know you boys can

recycle something that show our deepest
condolences...represent the school “
Me: “ what ? … why me ? “

Her : “ why not you?? stop hiding in the

Shadows Trevor Ms Zwane speak highly of you
make me proud “

She pat my back and left Ok what just

happened ? I had lot of question but I could not
come up with any answers. why is my life
always messed up ?

Chapters 11
I stayed up till late trying to recite word that
will have some sort of a meaning that will be
sympathetic and will show remorse for grieving
wife this was so frustrating because my mind
was just blank I made myself coffee again and
set down I looked at the blank notepad busy
biting on my pan in total annoyance

Pam : “ give it up if you don’t have anything to

say “
She emerged from her bedroom and was
making her way to the bathroom she passed
me seating on then kitchen counter lost in
thought I wish it was that easy just to give it
up few minutes later she drag her feet to my
direction

Her : “ any luck ? “

Me : “ nop “ she looked at the time it was after

22h00

Her : “ it's late Trey and you have been looking

at this note pad the whole night go to bed
please “
Me : “ I’m good writer pam even though I
hate using my brain for it but why do I find it
hard to put a simple poem together for Ms
Zwane am I that heartless that I feel like what
happened to her Husband is not my fault and
he most probably deserved it ? “

Her : “ not this again Trey stop beating

yourself up about this “

I sign and folded my arms

Me : “ do I ever come across as being heartless

to you ? “

Her : “ what ? you ? never …. you just an

arrogant ass nje “

Me : “mcee I’m off to bed uyadakwa now “

Her : “ you see what I mean “ i went to my

bedroom just looked at the sealing I was still
pissed that tomorrow I have to go to that
bloody funeral service I don’t know when sleep
attacked me but it felt good to be in a peaceful
slumber .

I blinked twice woken by a light shining on my

eyes I slowly opened my eyes I sow a sunrise
that was so blinding it was worm and did
wonders to my skin I looked around and
noticed that the sun blaze was coming over a
wide-open country field morning rain/ due
glistening on forest trees and snow-covered
mountain top peaks. Wow this place was
absolutely breathtaking this was indeed earth’s
stunning beauty it almost seems indescribable.

Me : “ where am I ? “

i tuned to my side and I felt my heart having a

fuzzy worm feeling. I swear to god every time
when I look at her I feel this unknown feeling
inside of me and it felt so damn good the
connection it's just there She looked at me

her: “ you home you need to come back

home the land is calling you “
Me : “ its beautiful “ she smiled she still look so
ever peaceful and gorgeous if she is indeed my
mother than I’m so proud to be her son her
face changed when the skies started turning
black heavy storm was approaching lighting
striking trees off wildfires approaching from
distance

Me : “ what’s happening ? “ it was sad looking

at this beautiful God’s creation getting
destroyed like that everything was just drying
out and dying out the land was no longer
beautiful it was dried out and looked old with
no life

Me : “ what’s happening “ I looked at her she

was holding her chest panicking looking in
round blood started coming her ears and
mouth where she placed her hand she had
blood stains on her chest I held her before
she fell down she looked like she was in pain
it was just heartbreaking moment for me

Her : she knows you are alive Mvelo oooh my

poor baby fight fight her please you stronger
than you think “

Me : “ fight who ? please talk to me what’s

wrong ? what’s happening to you? “ I felt tears
streaming down my eyes I felt like part of me
was dying as well seeing her in that state

Her : “Look deep into nature and then you will

understand everything better “ there was lion
roar and a pride of lionesses lead by two lions
came rushing towards us they form circle
forming a barrier locking me and my bleeding
mother in the centre I was holding her lifeless
body as if I was losing her she touched my
face and smiled with tears in her eyes

Her : You know the lion is dangerous when it is

quiet stalking sneaking up on its prey. Only
after it has ambushed and killed its prey does
the lion roar when you strong enough strike
back and have no fear my child “
immediately after she said that she started
coughing and I felt an excruciating pain on my
head I screamed so much It felt like
someone was knocking my head with
something the pain was unbearable I
screamed so much until I felt hands roughly
shaking me

“ hay hay wake up it's only dream “

I opened my eyes and Pam was standing

beside my bed the pain was still there my
eyes were watery I could not alter a word I
felt a pounding sensation in my brain I
screamed in agony

Pam : “ ooh my God! Trey you bleeding I

looked at my t-shirt it had blood on it was
coming out from my nose Pam rushed out got a
wet cloth she started wiping my nose

Her : “ Trey you burning up what wrong ? “ I

shook my head that I’m ok but who the fuck
was I kidding I held my head

Me : “ pain killers now ... AAAAAH !!“ when I

talk it like something was sucking the brain out
of me quizzing my head and pounding it with
hammer

Pam : “ lift your head up so we can stop the

bleeding “ she pulled my upper body up on
seating position but the minute I moved I felt
needles piercing in my head I could not hold
back the tears this was just to painful to handle

Pam : “ it's going to be ok bro hang in there “

Me “ pills now .. “ it came out as whisper “

her : “ I’m taking you to the hospital look at you

you in pain “

Me : “ no … “ she handed me pain block I took 4

because I wanted this pain to come down
minutes later I was sleeping soundly the pain
seized down but I had an uneasy feeling it
was as if I’m in my room sleeping but my spirit
was fully awake I felt presents of people in
my room I tried to open my eyes but it felt
like my eyelids were glued together there
were pacing a round in my room from there
tone I can sense three people in my room two
males and a women women voice I
recognised she the one that I consider my
mother her voice is forever soft and not even
Audible

Male /Voice 1 : “ will he make it ? he is too

weak to fight Khwezi“

Women’s voice : “ have faith on in him Baba

this is all new to him we need to show him
guidance “
m/ voice 2 : he does not even know that his
powerful this is such a waist ! “ his voice was
boulder as he rowed in anger he was angry
and I could feel that his an old grumpy man
judging by the tone of his voice

w/ voice : “ I think it's time we consult with

Nomacawe “

m/voice 1 : “ the signs are there he can see it

but why is he in denial about it ? “

w/voice : “ kodwa baba he did not know about

his origin till off late let's give him time to
figure things out I have faith in him he will
overcome this “
m/voice 2 : “ give him time?? … hayboo uthini
Lo! we running out of time !… his weak just
like you two and now he will die if only you
listen to me when I told you your marriage was
an abomination… “

w/voice : “ than this mean that I gave birth to

an abomination “ she said furiously

m/voice 1: “ come down please I will consult

with Nomacawe she will know what to do …
Jane can you heal him ? “

w/voice :” I can not heal injuries caused by

royal hand you know that love “
m/voice 1: “ my sister has gone too far it was
not enough that she killed us now she targeting
my children “

m/voice 2 : “ he is next in line to the throne

so he still need to fight his aunt and kick her out
of the royal palace because that seat she is
claiming is not here’s that why the land is dying
like this ”

w/voice : “let me go see my son “

I felt hands on my face “ we do not have much

time Mvelo please be strong for mommy fight
this your people need you“
***

Morning came and I was so grateful to wake up

the dreams I had were not pleasant I found
myself screaming shaking even being choked
I did not know what was happening but
somehow I knew whatever was happening it
was evil and directed to torment me even kill
me in the process. I kneeled down said a prayer

Me : “ thank you god for being with me through

it all please be my straight in this hard times
that I’m going trough please free me from the
evil spirit that tormenting me it was your
word that you said

'Call to me and I will answer you

Sponsored

and will tell you great and hidden things that

you have not known.'I need your guidance
you presence in my life shine the light into the
dark and let me see where there shadows
lingering in Jesus name I pray Amen "
I was still feeling a bit unsteady I had no idea
what was happening to me I was shaking
terrifying last night event left me feeling like a
zombie I did not know what was wrong I kept
on hearing his voice

“ his too weak he will die “

I woke up just drained and my body was so

tired I still had an uncontrollable feeling that
there was more to this than what meets the
eye everything I felt last night was so real
what happening ?

Pam : “ hey you good ? “ she stood there by my

door

Me : “ i'll survive ? “
She looked at me and frowned “I’m taking
you to the Dr … please get ready “ she said that
walking out of my room I tried to jump off the
bed I felt my body a bit dizzy that I had to hold
on to my bed to prevent myself from falling

Me :” Pam I’m ok … stop stressing please “

Her : “ no Trey you were tossing and turning

the whole night you screamed and cried even
bleed from your nose hay! If that does not spell
out I'M NOT FINE to me than I must be crazy “

Me : “ stop shouting at me “ I held my head and

walked slowly to the lounge
Her : “what going on Trey ? what were you
dreaming about ? “

A whole of evil shit blood human sacrifices

witch craft and lot of evil entity tormenting me
the whole night ok how do I tell her this with
ought freaking her out because I know I am.

Me : “ everything looked blurry pam I don’t

remember “

What ever darkness that I felt was not

something directed to a person I must help
shit was directed to me but question is why
me ? “
Me : “ pam can we drop this “

Her : “ you still going to see the Dr that is final

ok !“

I just nodded she was not going to drop this any

way she handed me page

Me : “ yini le “

Her : “ when you went to bad I took it upon me

to draft that poem for miss Zwane “

Me : “ you did? “ I looked at her like wow

She sipped on her coffee and gave me a side
smile I read through it and bust out and
laughed

Me : “ you drafted a poem for me ? “

Her : “ dud I tried now come on give me credit

“ she snatched it from me

I laughed again and shook my head basically

what she did was incorporate the vows and
poem written by Mr Zwane and she made it
poem I was cracking up when suddenly I felt
very nausea I rushed to the bathroom and
threw up when I looked inside the toilet my
vomit was just aaag I felt like vomiting again it
was dark brownish substance that was mixed
with blood I threw up again my nose
started bleeding again and I heard lot of voices
and one stood out for me to hear

“ if the royal blood can heal the royal blood can

kill “

No.. no .. no not this again

Me : “ ahhhhh ! “ The migraine came full force

that the blind spot begin to pop up in my field
of vision accompanied by a general blurriness
and a sense of pressure in my head When I get
those early symptoms I get a deep sense of
dread because it only going get worse from
now

– I have learnt the hard way that once the

symptoms start I’ve got about two minutes to
nip them in the bud before they drag me off on
a dizzying ride I can’t get off of I flushed the
toilet set next to it tried to breath in and out
i wanted to pray but I knew this will get worse
and fuck it did

Pam : “ ooh my God Trey ? what happening

“ she took damp towel and wiped my bleeding
nose I felt my vision getting more and more
blurry everything around me looks like it’s
getting bigger and smaller. My hearing
becomes a poorly it felt like someone was
tuning radio on and I had trouble differentiating
between what I am hearing and my own
internal monologue. Weirdest of all I lost my
sense of touch I closed my eyes and felt my
myself drifting off while I’m lying prone
somewhere conscious but weirdly separate
from myself

“ Makhosi … Thokoza Dlozi … Mguni … Thonga

Lebhubesi … Ndiki … Ndawu … bayede vuka
thonga ..vuka Dlozi … ” she was clapping
Kneeling down next to me I felt an edge to
growl …every time I did so she will smile and
shout

“ Makhosi ! “

Another grumble came about I could not

control it the minute the sound came out of my
mouth

“ Makhosi ! “ she clapped

Me : “kwenzakalani kumina “

Her : “sithunyiwe thina Ogogo Sithunyiwe

thina Omkhulu Sithinyiwe thina ama Thonga
“ ( sangoma praise – greeting )

Me : “ ngiyafa what’s happening to me ? “

She continued to clap her hands every time she

said something she will clap twice she was
kneeling in front of me with her head bowed
down

Her : “ Zindlondlo enkulu kumele uphahle

Dlozi kumele uye edlozini uyadingeka
emanzini … indawu lakho liyakhuluma .. lilalele
“

After that there was thunder of drums playing

and she started singing

“ ngihawukele thonga lami … Ngihawukele …

ngiwukele wethomnga lami ngihawukele “

I don't know what happened to me i found

myself the dancing chanting and clapping I just
felt my body getting lighter I was in daze I felt
free there was a huge budded lifted from me
I felt like I belong the sense of calmness inside
of me took over I set down and looked at my
surrounding.

This was amazing this place was just peaceful

I felt hands touching me I looked up she
looked familiar and when she smiled I knew it
was her she was the women with traditional
clothes that was in my vision when I saved Lisa
from the evil entity incubus

Me : “ who are you ? “

She smiled before she could respond a group

of women covered in red clay and white clay
knelt before us
“Makhosi! Thokoza Gogo!” they chant and call
out the names of their ancestors. I looked
behind me I was seated in some sort of cave
there

Colour-coded candles mounted on rocks blow

away in the dark dingy cave.

I felt this enigmatic energy reverberates inside

this place

Me : “ what is that I asked ? “

Her : “ it's your clan that want you to start

this process there are angry that you took so
long to answer to your calling you need to
except it to fight the evil that is sent to destroy
you you the only living royal blood to carry
out the royal name “

Me : “ I don’t understand ? “

I somehow felt fearful of the unknown. It

seems as though everyone in here has been
teleported to the Stone Age era.

“This is unbelievable” I said I was still trying to

register where am I and who are this people
yet alone how am i able to hear and
understand the vernacular hello last time I
checked I was raised by a white lady
A small community of women and men emerge
from clay and stone huts and straw grass
teepees built within the cave.

Women fetch water from a river bend at the

foot of the cave while some sit and cook
around the fire. In one corner men chop wood
while others grind traditional medicine from
plants they have collected.

where am I ?

her : “ ekhaya labantu bakini abadala - The

fertility caves – this is sacred dwelling and
space for your family “
her : “ everyone has a gift in this place special
healing powers praying power
communication with your people from this
world they can interpret dreams and foretell
the future past presence and future able to
manipulate elements all sort of gift just like
you … .

I looked at her and I was disturbed by noise

“ what happened ? “

Pam : “ he just started having seizure and next

thing he collapsed and did not wake up what
wrong with my brother ? “ she was crying
uncontrollable
Voice step aside mam let us do our job I
shoot my eyes open and breath out loud like all
along my breath was held my breathing was
abnormal

Pam : “ ooh Trey never do that again .” she

hugged me crying on my shoulder I was still
puzzled by the paramedic in my house and
neighbours looking at me like I just woke up
from the grave or did I ?”

Chapter 12
what happened to me ? “ I was still puzzled by
the way Pam was looking at me

Her : “ Trey why you doing this to me vele ? do

you know how worried I was? one minute we
laughing and goofing around the next to laying
on the floor not breathing and to top it up you
refuse medical help! why mfethu ? “ she was
mad but mostly she was afraid

Me :” please Calm down I feel fine ok I don’t

want to add other medical bills on our table we
are already struggling “

Her : “ demit Trey let me worry about bills

please you not an adult lana I am “

I rolled my eyes and made my way to my room

Her “ Trey I’m talking to you can you just listen

to me … get back here “

This was getting to my nerves I hate when she

act like an adult this is just bull shit .
I set on my bed browse through my phone just
to check how the outside wold is going

“ dud you decided to dodge the bullet I’m

stuck in this miserable memorial service you ow
me“ massage from Menzi

“ hay bro hope you ok just checking up on

you “ Mpume

“ yeyiwenaTrey! why did you tell Menzi to take

me to Ms Zwane memorial service what sick
game are you playing vele ?? answer your
phone man “massage from Sindy I laughed
well I guess Menzi got game he finally had the
chance to hang with Sindy I still thing the two
of them make a killer couple but fuck boy
Menzi got to change his player lifestyle if he
values his life Sindy is one crazy bitch .

I was disturbed from my thought by a shadow

that was moving around my room I looked
around and I notice that it moved so fast

Me : “ who’s there ? “

It swift from one corner to another I stood up

“ who’s there ? “

The next think I knew I felt something knocking

me down I bumped my head in process
Me : “ aah!"

I held on to my head i felt hands on my trout

choking me I tried to breath but the more I
exhale the grip tighten on my trout I was
gasping for air fighting for my dear life feeling
of being strangled to death feel like your life is
coming to an end I tried to speak no words
came out I tried to feel the hands that are
choking me but was only touching my neck my
body started going into panic it was
excruciating feeling I had flashbacks some
women that was calling my name busy
strangling something that looked like a doll in
her hand I could not see her face since she
cover herself with black hoodie dress that cover
her entire body this was not really i must be
hallucinating ... it can not be.... but shit felt so
real what felt for ever of struggling to breath
and my eyes popping out I felt my spirit leaving
my body and teleporting to another world it
plain fields the grass was very tall and moving
slowly to the wind

Me : “ am I dead ? where am I “ i touched my

neck but felt nothing i was breathing normally

Voice : “ you still alive but we had to move

your subconscious from what’s happening to
your body while we fight the entity that
attacking you “
Me : “ who’s attacking me ? why is he attacking
me? “

voice : “ she will not stop that why you need

to stop fighting who you are and accept it “

I looked around trying to see who am I talking

too but there was no one insight just the tall
grass moving to the sound of the wind

me : “ who ? is there? “

him : “ I have faith you Mvelo and I know you

courageous and a fighter you like me but I
need you to be stronger than you are right now
“

me : “ what’s happening to me? Why is it

happening to me“

him : “ you fighting a very evil force and the

good inside of you will overcome it you safe
when you are here but I can not keep saving
you from her you need to be on your own
and fight like a real lion that you are “

I sank down and just held my head I do not

know how to do this it's just all too much ...
and they speak in so much riddles that makes
me even more confused
Him : “ you will need to come here for a period
of time in which you have to offer sacrifices and
also consult with your ancestors they have all
the answers about your wright full passage”

Me : “ I don’t know anything about tradition /

ancestors and all off this vudu staff “

He laughed “ my boy Traditions are the

guideposts driven deep in our subconscious
minds. The most powerful ones are those we
can’t even describe aren’t even aware of dig
deep down in you and you will find answers “

I nodded trying to digest everything “ just know

that your Queen mother - Jane my wife also
your Mother by birth is your spiritual guide her
calling is trough prayer she communicates to
God to move the mountain and you have that
ability in you as well but since you off royal
blood you spiritual calling is linked to your
ancestors the fallen kings there powers are
passed from one generation to another its
going to be a bumpy road there is war ahead
that can only be fought by you and your
forefathers allows in and stop fighting us “

I signed

“ why me I feel like I’m not strong enough “

the grass started moving and I felt footsteps

shaking the grown I was scared terrified I did
not know what going on what emerged in this
tall grass I almost made me pee myself a big
white lion showed up and looked at me its
lion mane was thick white colour with brown
highlights its blue eyes where just piecing to my
soul looking at this big beast in front of me
and I was not shaken which was surprisingly
shocking instead I felt at peace a huge part
of me believed that the lion is more of my
protector and I must not fear it.

Of all animals the appearance form of the Lion

is the most striking his look is bold and
confident his gait and proud his voice
powerful and demand authority the great
strength and agility makes the beast take the
title of the king of the beast the staring lasted
for while I did not lose my gaze so was the lion
looking back at me and out of blue it came
close to me rubbing its long thick mane on my
body it was actually reshoring me that it was
not going to hurt me or harm me in any way I
knew that it was safe to be around it I ran my
hands on its big head and it closed his eyes it
rested next to me and yawned revealing its big
teeth I placed my head on its warm fluffy
body .

Me : “ who are you? and why do I have this

feeling to trust you? “

Voice :” You may have thought I didn't see

Or that I didn’t here

the Life lessons that you went trough alone

Perhaps you thought I missed it all

while I was by your side at all times

It's written on my heart and in your heart you

can feel it

Without me you wouldn't be here And I’m so

proud of the man you turned out to be

You built a strong foundation for us the minute

you allowed me to your heart the imprint we
just share now will last forever and No one can
take that away . I’m Leonidas Siqalo Mnguni
your Father the great warrior white lion and
you are my cub Aslan Mvelo Mnguni the
powerful lion of them all we are born in
human form but have heart of lion a curse
brought to us by powerful sorceress centuries
ago to all Mnguni man carried from
generation to generation "

I was shocked I mean if I’m cursed like him

will I ever transform to be this lion the beast

Him : “All the other animals in this kingdom

naturally expect us to be brave but being a
ruler was my biggest fear running away was
my biggest mistake and by trusting you to
correct my wrong is my biggest plea to the
fallen kings you will be great ruler Mvelo and
know no one can intimidate you because you
truly are powerful than any other king so
wake up my boy Nomacawe need to prepare
you “

he then started to roar which scared me a bit

I open my eyes and I found myself in new
surroundings back in my room in my own bed.

*****

Morning came and I felt tired and supper

hungry it's like I haven’t eaten for days I did
my hygiene process and rocked my black jeans
black t-shirt and black all star its valentines
days today and me and my girls diced to wear
black
Sponsored

since we did not give a damn about today

festivity I was looking forward to the school
bash I know I have a lot on my plate but can I
just have fun for once and forget about my
problems be normal kid and act my age Good
lord please I said a short prayer and made my
way out of my room
“ where you going all dressed up ?“
Me : “ school “

I continued looking at my phone

Pam : “ do you think it wise to go to school

today in your condition ? “

Me : “ what condition you referring too ? “

I made my way to the kitchen to dish up last

night left over but pam just stood there
disturbing my piece

I looked at her and she folded her arms “ you

know what I’m talking about Trey I can not
help you if you not willing to be help yourself “
Me : “ I don’t have time for this right now ! “ I
lost my appetite because clearly Pam woke
up on wrong side of bed and now she wants to
spoil my mood as well last thing I need today
is to be reminded that I’m different

Her : “ Trey you can not just walk away when

I’m talking to you “

I took my backpack and made my way out but

stopped and looked at her

Me : “ look I woke up feeling ok if ever I get

seizure or unordinary activities happened to me
you will be the first to know “
Her : “ care to explain the rad marks on your
neck right now ? “

Me “ bye Pam “ I walked out stepping outside

I breath out loud i felt like the walls of my
house were closing in on me with all the crap I
go through on daily based the dreams I’m
having the evil force that torment me each
and every chance it gets I admit I need help
spiritual help to be precise but deep down I
know my sister feels like I’m mentally unstable
and being away from her judging looks will do
me good. I made my way to school still feeling a
bit out of it I never pictured my life like this at
all .
Jumping off I felt my tummy grumble fuck I’m
hungry i spotted Mpume standing outside the
gate she was on her phone

Me : “ hay “

She looked at me and smiled

Him : “we missed you yesterday are you

feeling ok now ? “

Me : “ it was just a tummy bug but I’m all good

now “

She nodded “ lucky for you Sindy stood in for

you when you did not show up and attended
Ms Zwane memorial service “

I laughed because I know that she will still bite

my head off because Menzi saw an opportunity
and ran with it made up a crazy story that I said
that since I’m not in school she must
accompany him to the service

Me : “ ya I’m grateful that I have friends like

you guys thank you “

My tummy grumble again fuck

“ Mpum’s I’m kinda hungry what you got for

lunch today ? “|
She looked at me and smiled mpume never
carries lunch money at all she bring home
made lunch all the time and her mom makes
the most mouth watering sandwiches ever

Her : “ trade me your Lunch money and i'll give

you my lunch tin “

Me : “ hayboo that a first? “

Zoe jumped off from a jeep cherokee sport by

the drop off zone dahm the car was mind
blowing
Me “ who's that dropping off Zoe? “

Her :” Langa the b- F “

Me : “ he is moneyed... fuck what a car “

Her : “ yep no doubt his doing pretty good for

himself… “

I cut her off because Zoe was close she looked a

bit pissed but faked smile the minute she
spotted us

Me :” hi Zoe “ I decided to give her hug my

aim was to have a clear view of ‘the boy friend
‘ but got disappointed my vision was not that
clear and the windows were tinted bummer
right

Zoe : “ hi guys”

she said awkwardly this girl hate physical

contact

She rolled her eyes as Mpume greeted her with

hug as well Zoe looked super HOT outside her
uniform home girl got curves for days

Mpume : “ what's with a long face choma ?

“asking Zoe

Zoe : “ don’t feel like talking about it right now

later ok ” she brushed us off and looked away

Zoe : “ any way how are you guys ? “

me : “ I’m good Zoe just hungry and some

people rather see me die out of hunger then
feed me “

She laughed because I was giving Mpume the

eye while she dropped her mouth and looked
at me in disbelief

Mpume : “ what ??”

I knew by doing that I will start arguing with her

yep Mpume is such a loud mouth when it suits
her

Mpume : it's not even brake time and already

you want my lunch box mfethu kodwa yini
hayisuka ? “

Zoe laughed at us and handed me a pocket of

muffins just her way of saying grow up guys
and stop arguing

me: “ danki mgani you see wena Mpume you

need to stop being stingy its not holy “ we all
bust out and laughed

We took our bags to class and Mpume had an

assignment to finish she was not going to go to
the assemble i walked with Zoe to the
assembly area

her : “ so what’s app with you and Mpume ?”

she looked at me funny

me : “ nothing she is just a delight to hang with

but yoo u girl une’drama sometimes but I’m
pleased that I got to know her “

she laughed and made a face

her : “ how so ? “

I just laughed because I knew she thought that

me and Mpume got some secret love affair
going on since we hang a lot together but
truth be told Zoe has been too moody for me
to handle and this feud between her and Sindy
made us not hang that much since me and
Mpume decided not to pick sides so I gave her
space and let her be

me: “ she is just soft sweet and very feisty at

times I guess we click and she has good heart
“ maybe that why I like hanging around with
her she got that culm personality it may be
mistaken for being stupid but miss thing is just
to shy to step out of her shell

her : “ noo....! Trey do you have feelings for her ?

“She covered her mouth and I just bust out and
laughed at her yep I thought as much Trust
Zoe to jump to conclusion

me : “naaa man she more like a sister to me

she reminds me of Pam sometimes “

I nudged her shoulder and she continued to

laugh out loud this girl is crazy we stood by
the assembly she refused to stand in front with
all the prefects I wonder how Zoe does what
she likes and get away with it I mean she has
a role to play in this school as head prefect
but she does not give a crying ass about it or
what’s so ever I looked her busy on her
phone I wanted to tickle her brain a bit since
she a bright spark out of us maybe she will
have clue and help
me : “ can I ask you something ? “

her : “ yap “

We were standing in the assembly line and not

paying attention to the speech

me : “ do you believe in dreams “

her : “ believe like how ? “ ok how do I say this

with ought freaking her out or being awkward

me: “ that there are some sort of massage from

God or amadlozi ? “
she popped her eyes in shock or was it disbelief
that I out of all people i talk about stuff like this

her : “ I… I’m ... clueless when it comes to this

things are you being trouble by dreams ? “

she gave me that worry more of a consent look

infect I felt a bit scared to disclose to her at this
instant so just to ease her mind I will just skip
the reality for now since I don’t know as well
what it means I first need to find answers
help closure also before I can start to
communicate about this to my close friends

me:” yes but I’m sure it's nothing its just me

being paranoid “
her : “ hay... you can talk to me about anything
you know I may not have the answers but I’m
willing to listen “ i smiled and nodded we
walked back to class and school was just boring
as always with pile of homework to do over the
weekend so everyone at school was not
paying attention to studying we were given
half day at 11:h00 pans downs and we had to
go to the school hall

Me : “ hay you coming with ? “ I asked Zoe who

was not budging from her desk

Mpume walked in to our class

Mpume "come on guys let's go "

Zoe : “ I will catch up with you guys later I need
to make a call “

We nodded and walked out with Mpume we

bumped to Sindy and Menzi talking on
corridors they looked a bit cosy Menzi did the
unexpected and ran his hands on Sindy arm I
can not believe this

Mpume : “ can you believe this is my first time

celebrating valentine's day with a guy “

I laughed I held her hand

me: “ then my lady let me make it more special

for you “

she giggled the hall was decorated in red and

white there was dance battle that was take
place music was so loud that made me deaf
Mpume was laughing and dancing I loosen up
as well just to make the day more memorable
for her I once was like her locked up in my
house or mental institute not arewear of fun
that the outside world offers . So this right here
was just what the Dr ordered

Mpume : “ Zoe is missing out “

Me : “ let me go get her are you going to be

good alone
“I notice that some senior boys that were
checking out Mpume they a bit drunk or high
on something someone smuggled booze in here
i dont think i will stay long i better get Zoe we
must bounce out of here I just don’t feel right
leaving Mpume with this lose boys

Mpume : “ I’m not child Trey … just go” i pulled

her hand and she I laughed pinching me in the
process her phone ringed and she stopped to
answer it

I notice Zoe standing on corridors looking at

something in one of the classroom windows i
decided sneak up on her but what I saw made
my mouth drop as well in shock
“ what the other fucker “ I said in whisper

Sindy was making out with Menzi home girl

was on top of him with her dress up I was not
sure if there are already fucking or just doing
heated foreplay the moans and the sounds
they made showed that they were in the zone

Zoe stood there in like Zombi while I got pissed

Me : “holly fuck !!!!” it shit like this that make

niguh feel a bit noromal dahm sindy just
made my day

.
Chapter 13

What kind of a slut is Sindy I thought I knew

her but this is just to shocking for me
Unamadimoni lo girl

Me : “ yeyiwena Satan “ !

They jumped off and stopped what there were

doing and the hora in Menzi eyes was priceless
Sindy was wearing a red long body hugging
dress with white stripes on the side.

Zoe stood there speechless

Her : “ aaah .... what just happened did you

see ? what wrong with this girl ? “

She was whispering next to me which made me

laugh because the way she did it was hilarious
Sindy came out looking like she is high on
something

Sindy : “ guys it not what you think “

We looked at her like you have no clue on what
we are thinking about right now we folded
our hands and looked at her to explain Menzi
was seating on the desk looking at us waiting
for commotion to happen but we remained
cool

Me : “ so talk sisi what was that?“

Zoe : “ no wait are you drunk? “

she sniffed her like really girl now why you

wana go and do that ?

Me : “ Menzi pho the school fuck boy !”

Menzi just laughed and I saw Zoe’s face tanning
red he stood up and left

Sindy : “ guys please don’t Judge me I just had

a little to drink and this happened I don’t
know what came over me ... I jus.... “

Zoe clapped once and placed her hands on her

hip

Zoe: “ you get drunk and you spread your legs

to strange man this is getting old Nxa !”

Me : “ aish Sindy I thought I know you but this

stunt you pulling these days are just too
drastic”
She looked down mpume showed up and she
was all smiles and bubble

Mpume : “hay girl “

Greeting Sindy and she looked at us

Mpume : “ what going on ? “

My sister called while I was about to answer

talk about bad timing I answered the call

Me : “hay “
Pam : “Hi listen I’m working late today can
you ask Zoe to drive you home “

I rolled my eyes because lately that has been

the same tune she sang to me and to think that
this morning she was acting all grown up and
responsible yah right miss busy bee

Me : “I can not always rely on Zoe if you wont

make it Pam she is my friend not my mother “

Pam : “look Bro!! I’m busy right now so make a

plan and stop acting like a kid “

She dropped the call on me and that just made

me really frustrated I walked back to the girls
and Mpume was trying to resolve the issue I
just looked at them and I was lost in my own
thoughts I feel like I’m a burden to my sisters
life now she has put her life on hold just to
cater for my medical needs and all the stuff I’m
going trough I looked at Zoe who had a worry
look on her face I poked her

Me : “ what did I miss ?”

Zoe : “ a lot “

She looked at Sindy

Zoe : “ guys my ride is here and I need to go

Trey do you need a ride ? “
I just nodded while Mpume decided to stay
behind with Sindy who was crying hysterically
now we got our school bag and walked out
Zoe’s man was already packed outside aish man
this wheels yoo levels!! she got in front and
kissed him and I seat in the back the guy gave
me an uneasy look

Zoe: “baby this is Trevor my friend and Trey this

is my man Langa “

He just nodded while I said Hi I took out my

phone and decided to play games because they
were talking about stuff I was not clued up on
i overheard their conversation when he turned
down the music
Langa : “my brother father and uncle are
already in my house “

Zoe : “ so soon thought they are coming

tomorrow ? “

Him :” me too we still need to talk about you

know what “

He looked at me at the rearview mirror and I

looked away

Zoe : “ listen I have thought about it and sure

we can add it in the negotiation “
She smiled and Langa screamed “ YESSS”
wow what just happened did she just say
‘ negotiation ‘ Zoe looked at me and winked
at me I guess my facial expression gave me
away

Me : “ what going on ? “ I mouth

The car pulled outside by my flat and I had to

jump off I thanked Langa who was beaming
with smile holding Zoe hand this two are so in
love it made me envious

Zoe : “will call you later bro “

I nodded and jumped off wait how did Langa

know where I stayed ? fuck that strange I made
my way inside the house first thing I did was
warm up yesterday food and dug in I
switched on the T.v and just flip through
channels after lazing around I decided to do
some research I plugged in Pam’s laptop and
googled Mnguni royal family

~~~~“ Mnguni royal family originated in Zulu

Land and migrated all over Africa they migrated
from what is now Cameroon Some groups split
off and settled along the way while others kept
going. Thus the following settlement pattern
formed the southern Ndebele in the north the
Swazi in the north east the Zulu towards the
east and the Xhosa in the south. these people
had a common origin their languages and
cultures show marked similarities. “ ~~~~~
I took a breather this will be harder than I
taught...now how do I find my roots ? one
thing I hate about my visions and this
teleporting shit is that I tend to forget most
massage that is said to me it like part of my
brain just shut down when I’m back to reality
I set there trying to figure out what did the lion
say ?

I knew for the fact that my biological mom’s

name is Jane so I started searching for Jane
Mnguni but there was nothing about her I
became pissed and just walked to the
bathroom I did my business and washed my
hands when I looked at myself in the mirror I
saw a beautiful room looked like dinning room
area with raging women who was shouting and
destroying everything in her sight she was
dressed very elegant in royal blue two piece
suite jewellery on her neck and hands spoke
volume that she was well off the house was
on another level of class the disturbing sight
about all of this was her temper she was a
raging bull I notice also that she had some
sort of bondages on her hands looked like she
was injured.

Women : “ if he discover his power than all off

this riches will fade away “ there was man that
was seating in the couch that the women was
talking to every time I tried to look at the man
my vision became blurry it was as if there is
force of darkness that not giving me clear view

Man : “ i'll make sure myself that will never

happened “

Her : “ you said that the last time but he's still
alive and look at what he did to me only holy
water can cure me but you now that will never
happened since I’m a witch… Good can not
cross path with evil “

Him : “ my love I will make powerful spell for

you now we still have a chance to kill him
because his still in transactions “

Her : “ better make sure it works the last time

I tried to kill him my hands got burned when I
did the strangling spell I can feel that Somdala
and Nomacawe are his shield”
The man looked down “ we should have killed
him when he was born “

Women : “ don’t give me that !!! should have…

could have bull shit nxa “

The man look down “ xolo Ndlovukazi “

Women : “ he has to die !!! the more he realise

his power the weaker I become we running
out of time I’m getting sick Mahlase do
something !!!“

Man : “ my love you know that I can not kill a

royal blood I’m just commoner that why you
need to do it yourself his linked to you you
used “ inkaba yakhe “ to kill his parents you are
his blood and kumele simuphahlele amanzi
amyama …. “

Women placed her figure on her mouth a sign

to say don’t talk she started walking around
sniffing and looking around she turned around
and her face was the only thing I could view on
the mirror now.

She changed from being that elegant beautiful

women to a snake look alike with greenish and
brown face with scale like lizard or snake her
eyes looked more like a snake eyes - diverse
sets yellow in colour elliptical eyes round even
keyhole-shaped pupils occur she stick out her
tongue and it looked like snakes tongue I
jumped in fright because I could tell that I was
looking at the she devil

“ they can not protect you forever I jumped in

fright because I could tell that I was looking at
the she devil

“ they can not protect you forever I’m coming

for you “ after saying that the mirror shattered
and cracked her evil laugh echoed in the room
sending shivers down my spine I ran out the
bathroom that was so scary every time I closed
my eyes I saw her face and that made my heart
beat abnormally I was pacing up and down in
the house trying to figure out why the women
wanted to kill me ? who is she ? if only my
vision can just be clear and can somebody
please tell me what’s going on everything is
just a mystery a puzzle that I need to figure
out how can I even do that if I don’t even have
clue of WHO I AM ? I was startled by a nock on
the main door shit that scared me I stood up
and attend to because the person was bagging
the door non stop

Me : “ hi! bhuti Zakhele “ I said the minute I

opened the door

It was one of our next door neighbour he was a

drunk not a day goes by with ought him
drinking his soul away

Him : “ Mshana wami “

I nodded I know that smile he probably wants

money to buy another black label beer (ingudu-
1lt )

Him : “ I got just one problem lana my child “

Wait for it …

Him : “ I’m short with just R20 …. “

His going to lie and say that its bread money for
his kids

Him : “ well you see abashana they will be

coming back from school any minute from now
and they will be disappointed that there is no
bread “
Bingo … told you so … i just shook my head

Me : “ how about I buy you bread bhuti “

Him : “ haybo … I still have two feet my child I

can not borrow money from you and also send
you to the shops that not ethical “

I bust out and laugh you know this man is a

drunk but his English and manners indicates
that he is well educated man but what
happened that he end up like this ?

Me : “ i only have R10 will that help ? “

Him : “ kodwa Mshana why you like Indian shop
you always discount the fees to your own
favour”

I laughed out loud yap told you this man was

intelligent and crazy I handed him the money
and he started to whistle and made his way out
he was well know hustler in this street always
hustling for money for his next booze I stood
there looking at him shouting and greeting
people on the street

Voice : “ uzophela wena ubhuti uZakhele “ it

was his younger brother Nhlanhla

He was standing on the veranda smoking

“ skefu “ he offered
Me : “ nah I’m good “

Me : “ so tell me your brother practically drinks

every day ? “

He looked at me and laughed shaking his head

“ he was never drank like this...infect he did not
even drink at all my mom think that
“ ubulewe“ or something because one day he
was successful businessman running a national
well known company and then everything
changed so Suddenly there was no more
money no one to pay for my college fee or
the credit card bills we only had shelter over
our head that can drive any man to insanity
next thing his a famous drunk running the
street hustling for his next fix just a drink his
sorrows away “

Me : “ wow “

Him : “ that life bro one minute you up the next

you down and under life can humble you in the
worst way ever “ ‘he finished his smoke threw
it on the floor and stamp on it .

I stood there thinking about where i came from

the women that raised me and Pam provided a
lavish lifestyle I grew up privileged. I’ll always
been eternally grateful for everything I’ve had
— every experience and opportunity I was
lucky enough to be given. went to fantastic
schools travelled throughout Africa and had a
wonderful childhood. I also had a good
relationship with my mom ( women who raised
me ) raised me to have a good head on my
shoulders and she smothered me with more
love than any kid deserves after our mothers
passing things took a worst turn ever when
money is gone people act and look at you
differently and some run away like rats as if you
going to beg and gravel on there feet for
shelter or plate of food we were left with
nothing but a pile of bills after mom dies . Pam
had a choice to grow up fast she sacrifices a
lot for me she will always say that :

“You have to first believe in yourself before you

can give any part of yourself to someone else. If
there’s one thing onto which you must hold
dearly it’s your self-worth.”
I just smiled thinking about that yes I take here
for granted at times but she has proven to be
responsible more of parent to me Pam had to
drop out at school to carter for my need
cover my medical bill for my unstable health
get a roof over our heads buy groceries
cloths on our back and all the essentials .

your know Losing everything had the potential

to not only destroy our lifestyle but also our
spirit this right here just made me appreciate
what little I have and be grateful for having
my sister with me Just because the money is
gone doesn't mean the love is too. In fact I’d
gladly trade everything I have — and used to
have — for my family. I decided to surprise her
prepare supper for us well ill try since I suck
in cooking I normally resort in make something
easy so mince and Spaghetti it is then .

After an hour of kitchen duty I was a bit tired I

slouched on the couch and waited for sister
dearest to come back from work so I can spoil
her for a night.

waking up I was on the river band it was a huge

river infect I looked at myself and was
wearing white pants with matching vest I
hard red and white beads that I was wearing
cross my chest with some beads on my wrist
and ankle

w/voice : Mvelo stop looking confused and lets

get to work we do not have time “
I wanted to say something but words failed me
she is the same women I saw in the caves they
referred to her as Gogo but she looks young
and has no signs of being somebody's Gogo
today she was wearing black and white pleated
skirt white vest and black and white ‘bhayi”
that had print of wild bird on it ( impangela
bird/ Helmeted guinea fowl ) and black and
white head scarf

Her : “ you need to speak to the Oshun the river

goddess go into to the water now and wake
her up my child “

I started moving towards the water

surprisingly I did not have any questions on why
must I do it ? who is this Oshun? … I just went
with the flow

She started lighting yellow green blue and a

lot of white candle on the river band she light
up an incense and started talking clapping her
hands I do not know what happened but the
water temperature changed from being cold to
being warm

Me : “ river Temperature is changing Gogo”

Her : “ khuluma Mvelo tell her who you are “

Ok that a trick question konje who am I vele ? “

Her “ remember who you are Mvelo fight the
negative thought lingering in your mind use this
time to dig down and find out the truth about
you self“

Me : how so? “ the water was rising up ohh boy

I’m going to die here I could not move my
feet were stuck this was like quick sand

her : “ stop clouding your thought with fear

just relax and think “

The water was now moving it like tide and

currency was changing because now the water
was reaching on my knees
Me : “ I cunt … “ the temperature was really
getting warm now and water was above my
stomach now

A loud lion row thundered I looked back and

notice the white lion standing next to Gogo

Voice : “ remember who you are!!!! MVELO!!”

he roared

I closed my eyes breath out loud I felt a ball of

energy mugging out

Me: “ I’m Mnguni the son of man spirit of

lion …
I’m Mnguni sikotse singenangubo

Mpembe!

Gwane! Ndlebe! Simchewane!

Mnguni! WaseBuhleni !

Wena weluhlanga lwakaNgwane…

Mina thole lebhubesi …

I raised the son and set it ….

I create the rains of life thunder of dearth

wind of praise and storms of destruction

I’m the giver of life and killer of all evil

I’m the son of man A cub of the lion

With my roar carries the spirit of my fallen

kings I come to you seeking the spirit of love
tranquillity and harmony and ability to provide
fruit of life “

The lion roar so loud I felt the earth moving it

felt like thousand lions were roaring in this
place

The water started to twist where I was standing

like there is tornado erupting the twist where
so fast and furious I found myself standing in
the ground next to gogo and the white lion

her “ you did well my son ”

Me : “ why was it so important that I do this ? “

her: “ because water is life its brings purity

and growth by connecting with Oshun you will
be able to manipulate the elements“

Me : “ how so ? “

her: “ you need to get back before you get

trapped in this spiritual time I’m proud of you
remember that Oshun will come to you in
your dream tonight and she will tell you more
about herself she is you now and you are
her ” I looked at the lion standing next to me
Gogo smiled and looked at me

her: “ his with you ( referring to the lion ) all the

way call on him if you lose direction you are of
the same blood “

I felt the need to hug this beast so I threw my

arm's around it big head it made a low growl
making me all fuzzy inside “ I’m proud of you
son “ I felt a buzzing sound with my annoying
cell phone ringtone it did not stop it went on
and on and on till I finally shoot my eyes open
I was lying on the couch and my phone was
ringing like crazy
Pam “ please get that it been ringing non stop”
I looked at her when did she arrived ?

I answered my phone without looking at caller

id “ what “

Voice : “ what ? “

I looked at caller id it was Zoe I started to

laugh

Her : “ what ? did I disturb you from having sex

with you valentine’s buddy call ? “

Me : “ fuck you I was napping “

Her : “ good for you to wake up on my behalf ….
So since you up I got news “

I signed couldn’t she write an SMS or

something disturbing my slip like this

Me : “ I’m listening “

Her : “ can you make time to come by my house

tomorrow around lunch time or so “

Me : “ what’s the special occasion ? “

Her : “ well its my lobola negotiations “

I laughed “ yeah right “

Something hit me that she not joking I

remember the talk I head between her and
Langa this afternoon ‘ negotiation ‘

Me : “ tell me you joking “

Her : “ come and see for yourself tomorrow if

I’m joking or not ! …. Ohh tell Pam as well
please … look I have to go … love you and don’t
bail out or me if you know what’s good for you
“ she dropped the call pam was looking at me
with her mouth full
Her : “ who died ? “ she asked with her mouth
full

Me : “Zoe is getting married tomorrow “

Pam dropped her spoon while I just sank on

the sofa guess God is not done messing up
with my life …

Chapter 14
Pam : WOW!

Me : “ ya ne “

We set there all shocked I must admit as

much as I knew I do not stand a chance with
Zoe I never thought that she will be getting
married so soon but the thing is why ? it's just
don’t add up .

Pam : “ look I know how you feel about this girl

but if she Is willing to take this big step it means
she in love with this guy she marrying “

Me : “ yah …I guess “
Silence ….

Me : how is your food “

She smiled “ thank you for cooking you the

best brother ever “ she sang an off tune key

I rolled my eyes stood up to dished up for

myself I set down with my plate and dug in
surprisingly my food tasted good not bad at all
im impressed with myself we were eating in
silent and watching t.v
Me :” Zoe invited us to her Lobola negotiations
tomorrow . “

Pam : “ sorry bro I can not tag along to hold

your hand tomorrow I know watching the
love of your life becoming someone’s wife will
hurt like a mother fucker

Me : shut up Pam ! “

She laughed and stood up

Her : sorry love I’m swamped with work maybe

I will drop by later just to see this guy who has
nerve to brake my little brothers heart “ “

Me : “ can you just cut it off “

Her : “ nchooo my brother just got her first

heart break “

Me : “shut up Pam “

She laughed

Her : “ I’m off to bed don’t stay up to late “

Me : “good night Sisi “

She stopped and looked at me “ hay! care to
explain what happened to the bathroom
mirror ? “

Aish about that I started scratching my head

Me :a…hhhh what happened to it? “

Her : “ Trey really you going to act dumb now ?

“

Me : “ I’m lost as you are… I don’t know what

you talking about “

Her : “ you such a bad liar Trey … I’m gonna find

out the truth one way or the other mark my
words “

Me : “ good night Pam “

I set there watching T.V till I got board I took

out my diary and started jotting down events of
my life I had this warm feeling every time I
think about me and the relationship I have with
my father yes he may be beast in appearance
but his heart is human I feel his presents even
when I can not see him at all I never thought
that having a male figure in my life will be this
heart worming I retired to bed later I was
happy to hear people in my life say they proud
of me I may not Know who Gogo is but her
presence in my life means a great deal I don’t
even care if she is dead or alive I’m just glad
that when ever she speak to me she always
gives me will to push through . I then prayed
and I zoned off to Lala land.

I was woken up by noise of dishes and

humming

“ GOD DON’T I GET A BREAK PLEASE !!!“

I took a pillow and covered my head but the

melody of the hamming

was so beautiful and made my eyes shoot open

I first I thought that it was Pam but Pam voice is
a bit high pitch than this beautiful melodic
sound that I'm hearing right now
~~~

ophuzayo kulawo manzi

Ophuzayo kulawo manzi

Ophuzayo kulawo manzi

akomi na phakade qha

~~~~

The harming and singing went on and on I

lifted my head from my pillow I was pissed I
have been having trouble sleeping this days if
I’m not being strangled...im in foreign lands
doing God know what speaking to lions and so
forth ...haybo ! I just need just few hours just to
shut down.

I saw light coming out from the door key hole

I woke up switch on the light in my room and
notice wet footprints on my floor it was as if
someone jumped out of the shower without
drying and was walking around with wet feet
and living drops of water along the way I
follow the wet foot prints and it lead to the
door I slowly opened the door and the
harming was now a bit louder there was lot of
shuffling coming from the kitchen water was
running

“is pam washing the dishes at this hour”

i asked myself it was after midnight but still
why is there trace of wet footprints on the floor
tiles ? I slowly walked to the kitchen and
boom …. who the fuck is this ?

Me: “hall…o “ I started

She turned around and I was mesmerised I

have seen beauty but this here was not from
this planet everything was exotic from the
clothes she had on she was wearing and white
and yellow sarong that was wrapped around
her neck her golden brown legs were long
and out there to show her hair was thick and
tired into need bun her hand accessories
were of seashells and some beautiful stones
she smiled and she had two deep dimples on
cheeks I held my mouth “ wow “ I said in total
amazed

Her : “ nice to finally meet you Mvelo “

Me : “aah and you are ? “

She laughed showing her perfect white set of

teeth

Her : “ I’m Oshun …. orisha …. Venus ...or...

Aphrodite.. people have their own term that
they call me but you can call me Ndoni
yamanzi … “
Me : “you the goddess of the river ? “

Her :” in a flash “ she smiled

Me : “ wow … you .. are… “

Her : “ Beautiful … I know I get that a lot … and

thank you for the compliment Somdala told
me so much about you and I’m honored to be
in your presence “

Me : “ Som .. who ? “

She laughed she was busy spooning honey from

the jar and sucking the spoon dry
Her : “ sorry about the mess I will clan it up I
woke up today very hungry … well it’s sot of a
thing about me when ever I emerge to a human
form I crave food like crazy “ everything food
item from the fridge was out the cupboards
door were wide open

Me : “ what ? “ I’m lost …. Somebody please

find me ...i looked up

Her : “ come we don’t have all night I’m sure

you have loot of questions for me “
She made her way to the high chairs and she
stated staffing her food her eyes were sea
blue and she was just wow heavenly father who
create such a thing …

Her : “ I’m a goddess child I’m meant to be this

exotic my beauty is rear and not ordinary
stop looking at me like that “

I swallowed and stood there

Her : “ so where was I ? … oh! Somdala is your

greate .. great grandfather he was the first king
of the Mnguni people to have the power of king
and a calling it's very rare and not all kings
posses it he was a very powerful man even in
spirit I can still connect with him “

Me : “ wow … am I from royal blood ? “

She nodded with her mouth full

her: “ you know who you are but you still

question yourself negativity is powerful tool
that destroy people anyway I’m not here to
talk about that son “

Me : “ I don’t know who I am I need answers

and every one is not giving me answers!!! you
speak in riddles ..!!! “

She raised an eyebrow and folded her hands

her “ your mind is clouded let me show you
what happens to my world when your mind
becomes clouded “

I found myself in dark waters and I was

surrounded by trees and this place has a cetin
feeling that I can put my mind to it half of my
body was inside the water my feet did not
touch the ground but I was flouting

Me : “ I have been here before “

Her : “ yes now you remember “

Me : “ I was 6-7 years and my mom did not

believe me when I told her “

Her : “ how did it make you feel? “

Me : “ mad angry every time I came here I will

get beck to my room wet and mom will think I
wet my bed she never believed me when I
told her I was swimming ”

Her : “ do you know where you are ? “

Me : “ no … “ I looked around to me it looked

like dam or something that is hidden in dance
forest judging from all the trees surrounding it

her : “ you in a pond ( isiziba) of your ancestors

“I looked around she was speaking loud and
clear to me but there was no sight of her

Me : “ why am I here ? and where are you ? “ I

felt something moving inside the water and my
heart was beating abnormally

Her : “ you still do not remember me? “

Me : “ show yourself you scaring me now “

Her : “ you still do not remember when you

came here when you were young what you use
to do ? “

I tried to think but my memory was blocked

I went through lot of therapy treatment when I
was young my memory was affected greatly

Her : “ people have different kinds of calling

the power of the water and lion in you is your
challenge you need to master the two in
order to come out of the initiation strong
enough self doubt and lack of believing in
yourself may cause you never to emerge from
the pond “

I felt a need to nod

Her : if you in denial your calling the true spirit

that is passed to you by your forefathers it
might lead to idlozi lakho to react in bad way
rejecting who you are and what you meant to
become looks and feel as an insult to your
ancestors and things that happened to you
after are unbearable you will even think that
you cursed or worse bewitched “

There was a swift movement under the water

and fuck I peed myself

Her : “ ever heard of the saying that ‘ isangoma

sithwasa emanzini ‘ ? amandla aso atholakala
emanzini ? one of your true calling is to have
the power to emerge under the water with
spirit of water and fire “

My heart was thumping on my trout now I felt

this uneasy feeling whatever is underneat this
water it greater than me I can feel it
movement its breath it wants to pull me
under I was afraid

Me : “what’s that ? ” the water started to move

in slow circle movements

She started singing

~~~ emanzini … emanzini … ngoba inyoka

iyakhuluma … emanzini emanzini … ngoba
ithonga liyakhuluma ~~~~

She continued to sing while I was freaking out I

looked at the water since it was turning And
going into circles around me I heard tweeking
of birds in the trees surrounding me and cold
wind blowing on my face

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something appeared from tunder the water it

looked like some sort of light the more i
looked the more I saw that it was not a light
since it was moving
Her : remember what u Gogo Nomacawu said
stop clouding your mind with Fear… except
who you are so that you will emerge from this
water you called upon me to connect with
you “

I breath out loud and it hit me … flash back of

my childhood life when I use to swim in this
waters I was never alone I felt my fear
creeping in … I remember .. no.. no … it can not
be

Her : “ the more you start panicking the more

you will suffer free you mind and look at me
now “

I looked at the water moving I notices that it

was big it was yellow and it was moving in
circles around me I still have not noticed the
head or tail ooh my god this is bigger than the
anaconda I closed my eyes I’m dreaming this
can not be real I’m dreaming… this can not be
real ….. I kept telling myself that

Her : “ you not dreaming Mvelo I can not be

with you if you do not except my true form
power lies within you and I connecting look at
me now ! “

I slowly opened my eyes and out of sudden I

was swept under the water i popped my eyes
open underwater it was lighter than when I was
on the surface it like a spot like was shining
bright I was breathing normally as if I have
gills like fish

My eyes were suddenly drawn towards the

heart of the pond I witnessed a uniquely
beautiful and large yellow and white python
playfully manoeuvring its body in the water as
though it was showing off its strength and
beauty. It was humongous I popped my eyes
in shock I could not believe my eyes I finally
sow the head and the eyes and it looked exactly
like Ndonis eye’s

Me : “ Ndoni ??”

I asked in shock there were no words spoken

but I could hear myself talk and had an ability
to hear her speak back to me

Her : “ idlozi lithi Thwasa Mvelo if that does

not happened soon you going to suffer greatly “
I was still shocked of what she just told me
“ Thwasa “ I was clearly lost

Her : “Ukuthwasa is a journey undergone by an

initiate who has a calling when he or she
responds to the calling. It is a form of training
healing from your sickness as well as a process
of accepting your ancestor and feeding it with
the necessary muthi that it requires “

Me : “ I don’t understand ? “

Her : “ have you ever wonder why you were

always sick you spend most of your childhood
life in hospital mental institute the Dr did
not know how to help you you hallucinated
you have this uncontrollable mood swings
you leave in isolation most of the time you
prefer quiet places than noisy places you
some time have this rare desire to scream and
run into the water or run away because you
feel misunderstood …. “

I looked at her I felt like crying all along I

thought that I was mentally unfit / bipolar / nut
case all this words I was called by growing up
and everything lies here . I had to endure pain
self-pity from my family all this years the
medical treatment that tortured me for years

Her : “ don’t cry my son your time has come I

will show you the way“
Voice : “ Zindlondo enkulu! Makhosi !…
ndiki …ndawu … khululani umtwan aemazini
ngiyakhuleka kuni Makhosi amakhulu
ngiyakhuleka kunina Zishingshane zomoya
omavula indlela omabona bulawe khululani
umtwana emanzi akukabi isikhathi sakhe …
ngiyavuma ngizomuthwasisa … ngiyavuma
bantu badala ngizokwenza…. “

I listen to the voice it was Gogo it's like she

was inside the water she was pleading I was
confused on what was happening

Ndoni : “ Nomacawu seside lesikhathi ngithi

thwasisa umtwana she belongs under the
water with me he is part of me not you “

Gogo : “ I know Ndlondlo kodwa Gogo …

ithonga lakayise mkhulu liyamudinga kumele
aye entabeni his the maker of rain the giver
of life his duty is not only to heal but also to
rule we need him his people need him
xola salukwazi

Xola ndlondlo yamanzi “

I was just depressed and felt like screaming I

could not hold my mouth so I just shoot my
mouth open and screamed I started choking
and my lungs were shutting down I was
drowning I was coughing uncontrollable I
opened my eyes I was in my kitchen floor trying
to find my breath I held my chest my body
was wet but my clothes were dry I was
breathing uncontrollable loud . I just curled up
on the floor and cried this was just too much
why me I cried so much that I felt my body
shaking after hours of drowning in my
sorrows I felt warm hands touching me it
was Pam

Her : “ its ok … I’m here … its ok “

I just bowled louder and louder I was tired

but yet was to afraid to sleep what if this hora
happens again no I can not I rocked my self up
and down onpam was hushing me and I could
feel that she was braking as much as I was
seeing me in this state. I was just looking into
space . a part of me wanted to pray but where
is God when all of this is happening to me

Chapter 15

Pam cradled me the whole night I was even

afraid to go sleep in my bedroom so I slept on
her bed. She prayed the whole night sang me
lullabies I was too broken to Alter a word
about what got me crying hysterically on the
kitchen floor last night.
I hate worrying her like this she deserves to live
her life now the fact that she became my
parent at a very young age does not seat well
with me I heard her tip toeing on the room
she still though I was sleeping but I was wide
awake how can I invite sleep when the most
horrible shit happens on my sleep I turned on
the bed saw her busy on her phone she looked
up

Her : “ hay go to sleep “

Me : ….

Her : “ sorry for waking you up but it still early

go back to sleep “
Me : “ why you not dressed up for work ? “

Her : “ I’m not going in today i'll ask for day off
“

I set up straight and looked at her “ I can not

allow that please go to work “

Her : “ Trey … “

Me : “ stop babysitting me pam I will be fine

ok “ I snapped at her

Her : …
I jumped off bed and made my way to the
bathroom did my hygiene process once done
I made may was to the seating room I was
still drowsy from all the intake of the sleeping
pills last night I just threw myself on the
couch my eyes were still heavy that I felt myself
dozing off it's so hard to sleep with fear in mind
because you sleep with one eye open

Meanwhile the valley mountain:

Gogo Nomacawe

Leonidas: “this is too much for him”

I looked up just he just grassed his presence

with his firm stride his lion form was a bit
intimidating compared to his gentle human
form that he once was had

me: this will soon be over you need to have

faith in him “
Leo : “ I thought his spiritual side will overcome
this traditional hilling side “

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him

Me : “ it's going to get worse before it get

better a calling is force of two worlds trying
to amalgamate in one body imagine how your
body will feel after “

He set down

him“ I just want this too be over and done with

“

Jane walked in infect it like she flew in she

was mad like really mad

Jane : “ Gogo there a barrier between me and

my son I can not communicate with him “

Me : “ it has stated “ I felt my heart skipping a

bit I know how this process of initiate is I have
been there and I grateful to my ancestors to
have come out alive in one piece .

Leo :I knew it was a bad idea to take him to the

river…this Dlozi thing will torment him now“

Me : “ we had no choice your evil sister was

after Mvelo’s head remember with Ndoni by his
side there is shield over him “
I hate it when people do not understand the
calling process they start having their opinions
as if we chose to be like this it's not as if we
woke up one morning and said I’m going to be
Sangoma today it hard very exhausting
process it's never an easy thing to speak to the
dead bouncing on and off from the two words
of the living and spiritual sides.

Leo: does he know the ancestor that possessed

him ? “
Me : well from where I pick out he is possessed
by his paternal great-Grandfather Somdala
Mnguni who is the most powerful all of his
ancestral spirits in your family and also her
Great … Grandmother Naomi from your wife
side

she has come through with a different kind of

spirit (isithunywa) as she had been a practicing
Christian in the Zionist Church however he will
be able to use both the isithunywa from his
grandmother and the ancestral spirit from his
great-grandfather depending on the nature of
the situation faced by him and ones he start
consulting the two spirits will work inline
together .
Jane : “ I thought his spiritual side was stronger
“

Me : “ it is… but his in denial I can still appear to

him in vision to guide him through the right
path because I’m afraid that he will not know
which path to take there is thin line with evil
and good when it comes to becoming a
sangoma or traditional healer Mvelo may not
be aware of the two “

Jane : “ you telling me that my Son may turn

out to be like that witch I call my sister in law”

Leo: “ babe come down “

Jane : “ come down you say we sacrificed so
much for the events not to turn in our favour “

Me : “ please guys this is sacred place I can

not allow you to make noise in here “ i was in
caves i still struggled to consult with Somdala
that old man is so stubborn he wants things to
be done his way

Jane sign“ tell me about this thing called

ukuthwasa how does it work“

Me : “Ukuthwasa is a journey undergone by an

initiate who has a calling when he or she
responds to the calling. It is a form of training
healing from your sickness as well as a process
of accepting your ancestor and feeding it with
the necessary muthi that it requires. When an
ancestor resides inside of someone it feeds on
his or her blood. So instead of it feeding on that
person's blood until he or she wears thin the
initiate is then given amagobongo (a form of
muthi) for him to eat drink to use as a means of
regurgitating and also to use when bathing so
that the ancestor can feed upon it. “

Jane : “ his still going to be sick ? “

I just nodded accepting a calling does not

come easy

Leo : “ what will happened next ? “

Me : Thereafter he has to learn the process of
understanding and mixing muthi throwing the
bones and telling where certain objects are
hidden and identifying ailments and
circumstances facing someone that his healing
or his family. All of this is done under the
supervision of your trainer so that should that
person be unhappy your trainer will take over
the process again. Once you have been trained
in this department as well a goat is then
slaughtered for you. Your family members are
then expected to bring you home by giving a
cow as a form of gratitude to your trainer
another cow to welcome and accept you as a
sangoma - ( ukuphothula edlozini ) and a goat
for the ancestors to welcome and accept you as
there vassal
Jane : “ there is a lot of slaughtering good
God why cunt he just pray about this and
become a spiritual hiller a prophet maybe “

Me : “ it depends entirely up to him if he will be

stronger spiritually or he will take the ancestral
root that why there are 3 calabash of igobongo
( muthi) that he must eat the first one is

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 the first one is Ndiki –represent the women in
his ancestral calling ... Ndawu- for the man in
his ancestral spirits calling… Nono – for his
spiritual side ( izithunywa) “
Leo: “ wow … “

Jane : ….

The minute I was done explaining they were

looking at me like I just said Mvelo will die and
never come back

Me : “ it all depend which side is stronger in

him that will over power the other “

Back at Trey house

Trey

I woke up with fleece blanket covering my body

I must have passed out on the couch I looked
at the time it was almost 13h00 I made my
way to bathroom took a bath I then letioned
dressed in jeans and shirt with sneakers I
made my way out I did not want to disappoint
Zoe on her big day I may be going through
shit in my life but I will never allow that to
affect the people around me after jumping of
the taxi by Zoe house I sent a text message to
Pam

~~~ I went to Zoe House pick me up after work

~~

I switched my phone off because I could not

deal with her tantrums and bossy tendencies
they were lot of cars packed at zoe house this
showed that her family and in-laws are lauded.
I was a bit shy to walk in but saw a familiar face
it was Bab Majozi he was about to get into his
car I ran to him

Me : “ Baba Majozi “

He looked at me and smiled

Him : “ wow small world the prophet himself

“

I laughed yep this man got jokes I shook his

hand since he offered he told me that he was
handling Zoe lobola negotiations

Me : “ well Zoe is my friend I go to school with

her everything went well “

Him : “yes surprisingly it was not a

negotiation it was like name your price and will
pay she married to well off family “

Me : “ wow I’m happy for her “

Him: she a good child I’m glad she has you as

friend “

He looked at me and squinted his eyes

Him : “ what’s wrong son? you look as if you
have the weight of the world in your shoulder ?
“

Me : “ its that obvious ? “

Him : “ you weary and you feel like you not sure
if going or coming“

Me : “ I don’t even have a control over my life “

he smiled and shook his head

Him : So often in life we may find this to be true:

we hold on too tightly to things we were never
meant to control. It’s hard sometimes to let go.
We struggle to change things. We strive hard to
maintain order and keep all in line. But when
problems mount high and pressures feel
overwhelming we begin to understand more
fully how little control we really have “

I nodded it was as if he knew exactly how I

feel

Him : “Cast your burden on the Lord and he will

sustain you; he will never permit the righteous
to be moved.” Psalm 55:22 “

I signed and looked down

Me :“ I just have so much fear of the unknown I
feel like my life is self destructing… “

He held my arm

Him : Fear has no place in the life of a Christian.

By the name of Jesus Christ who lives in us
we’ve been given authority over fear. If we’re
starting to feel anxiety or fear creeping into our
minds we can rebuke this in Jesus name and
find peace in the Spirit of God that gives us His
power love and self-discipline. Remember
‘For the Spirit God gave us does not make us
timid but gives us power love and
self-discipline.

—2 Timothy 1:7’
Me : “ wow every time I speak to you I feel so
light “

Him : “ God is with you Son Next time you

find yourself starting to let fear into your
thoughts and feeling not in control and
doubting yourself remember that God is with
you always. This is His promise to those who
live within His will he said

‘So do not fear for I am with you; do not be

dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen
you and help you; I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand.

—Isaiah 41:10’
Damn this man is anointed …

Him : let me not keep you … think about what I

said “

he shook my hand again I step back as he

stepped inside the car he drove off leaving
me feeling like brand you person I don’t know
how he does it but he just lifted my spirit up to
another level I can live a fearless life
emboldened by the strength of my God—no
matter what is going on around me Once
again Bab’Majozi has spoken the truth I need to
here about God’s Word. Over and over God
reminds me that I don’t need to fear in any
circumstance and still over and over I tend to
fear I guess it goes with me being a human
it’s a feeling I can not control this verse serve as
yet another reminder that fear simply has no
place in the life of a Christ-follower. I smiled to
myself and nodded in approval

Me : “ God works in mysterious ways in deed “

I said to myself I spotted Zoe Aunt by the gate

she was breathtaking now I see were Zoe gets
her curvaceous body and beauty from

Me “ sawubona ma” I said approaching her

she smiled

her : “hi “
she looked at me trying to figure out who I am

me :” My name is Trevor Zoe friend is she in ... “

Before she could answer Zoe screamed in

excitement

Zoe : “ hay you came “ she threw herself on my

arms she looked really pretty like a real makoti

Her : come”

she pulled me inside I loosen up while she

drag me inside
Chapter 16

Daliy new AFrican novels download here

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Upon arriving inside Zoe house I was glad that

Mpume was there and even though she was
PMS’ng for whatever reason i didn't care i was
just glad that she was one of the familiar faces
that I knew and I could talking to.

I realised that Zoe came from a well off family

she was rocking some diamond bracelets with
matching studs earrings wow levels

Me : “ you look amazing Zoe I like the dress it

fits you like it was made for you “

Her: “ well thank you Trey Langa picked it up

for me he has a remarkable taste when it
comes to fashion “

I smiled and nodded sounds so gay but well

who am I to judge

Mpume : “ boo why you have those circles

around your eyes its like you haven’t slept for
days? “

Really Mpume no hallo ? how you doing Trey ?

you just hit me with questions and put me on
the spot light like that ...I just shook my head

Me : “ well I was partying with some guys in my

hood haven’t slept at all “

I was not about to dish out my sorrows to this

nosy girl
Mpume : “ better hook me with one of your hot
guy friends “

I laughed at her

Me : Sindy Bitchy tendencies rubbing in I see” I

raised my eyebrow at her

Mpume : “Trey she not Bitchy she is just

going through stuff “

Me : “ stuff ? “

I looked at her waiting for her to explain

Zoe : “ she not going to tell us trust me I have
tried Trey “

Me : “what? When did we start keeping things

from each other ? "

Mpume : “ why you biting my head off for arg!!

“ she walked away from us

Zoe just shrug her shoulder and rolled her

eyes .

noise erupted making us turn and it was Zweli’s

squared Bongani and Sbu there were carrying
a cooler box I guess I arrived just on time
Bongani : “ Cheez boy “ he punched my
shoulder

I shook my head like what the fuck ?

Sbu: “ don’t mind him his forever high on pussy

how you doing Trey ? “

We fist bump

Me: I’m good bro “

Sbu : come join us “

Zoe : time out how do you know each other?

“ she was on out tail

Me : “ pre valentine’s party at Shisa nyama

remember the one you did not attend friend “

Zoe : “ what? “

Zweli was busy eying this skinny girl who was

busy chatting with Mpume im guessing it's
Portia ‘the girlfriend ‘

Bongani : “ Koti awenze I geji lapho “

Zoe : “what ? “
Me : “ food Zoe please I’m starving as well “

She walked away mumbling what ever dragging

Mpume along we set on the backyard seating
area you know us guys we talk about
everything from food women sport sex
and the whole shebang so we got along nice
thing about this is that it was not my first time
hanging around this guys so it was not that
awkward at all Mpume served us and I must
admit the food was amazing as fuck

Bongani : “ you know Zweli your Aunt needs me

as husband the way she know her way around
the kitchen it’s a waist that she aren’t married “

Zweli : “ fuck you bro “

He said that with ought even looking at him his
eyes were on Portia

Sbu : “ you know you can not resolve nothing

by just looking at her like that “

Sbu is forever chilled and even when he speaks

it like he hates to open his mouth I first
thought he was just stuck up but nop he just
to chilled.

Zweli : “ it easier said than done bro “

I later learned the story between Portia and

Zweli apparently they had a fight and it had
something to do with Zweli cheating on Portia
and was court not once but many time talk
about man hoe and now I realized how Sindy
got easily wrapped around his web.

Well drinks were flowing and I must admit I was

having a good time why wouldn’t I vele when
I have a clown like Bongani seating next to me
and goofing around.

Bongani : “ hayi Mkwenyana “

I looked up and Langa made his was to us

damn this guy is oozing with that aura of being
successful from his cloths to his cologne the
Gucci platinum and black watch on his wrist
fuck what does this guy do for leaving? Is it safe
to say I envy him now I mean his practically
dating the most beautiful girl I know his
cloths is just damn and his looks will get any girl
wet some guys just got it all nxa .

After that comment that Bongani made Langa

just shook his head and seat next to me

Him : “ 8ta guys ”

Sbu nodded

Me : “ Congratulation are is order I guess “ i

said to him

He just nodded “ thank you “

I noticed that Langa is very quiet and reserved
person so I took liberty to converse with him
just to get to know what type of guy he is

Me : “ drink ? “

Him : “ yaa sure ” I gave him a castle light can

but my intention to talk to the guy was shot
lived since Bongani was the loud mouth we
were glued up in his conversation and this guy
will talk all nuances with a straight face while
we crack up and laugh.

Langa : “ fuck … wow ! “ he said softly and I was

drown by what got him all worked up I looked
ahead and Zoe was busy doing her stuff not
paying attention to what’s going on with us
God she even forgot I was here for her Langa
whistled pulling Zoe's attention to him what
happened next I only see in the movies
everything started moving in slow motion she
dropped everything and ran to him while Mr
meet her half way and scooped her up they
hugged the boys whistled while Zoe just buried
her face in langa’s chest he pulled out and
looked at her he admired her wow is this love
even legal on earth I set there and just looked
at them I could not help but to smile as well

Zoe was seating in Langa lap now next to me I

shifted my attention to them call me nosey but
I don’t care cause I have never seen a man who
is so whipped like Langa I felt his heart and
emotions changing the minute that Zoe step
outside

Langa : “ hi”

Zoe : “when did you arrived ? why you never

called me ? “

Langa:” too many questions love ”

Langa was mesmerized by Zoe beauty looking

no one else exist in this planet but him and Zoe
they were just wrapped up in there own
bubbled .

Langa: “I want to kiss u so badly now “ that

came out a whisper I just looked down shit
this can not be happening right now … and next
to me can God hate me that much i'm still
trying to mend my broken and bruised heart

Langa : “I have rights now you are my wife after

all “

God take wheel please and drive me away from

here right now

Zoe : “we have the rest of our life’s to kiss as

much as we can “ she said hugging him

this two are just too much of a the bold and

beautiful damn I cunt deal there are people
around you guys I was about to ask for the
bathroom when Someone clear their throat I
looked up and thank you Zweli I breath out
loud I did not even realised I was holding my
breath in

Zweli : “ welcome to the family bro “ referring

to Langa

they shook hands while Zweli Pulled Zoe off

from Langa lap and shoulder bump with Langa
talk about bullying

Langa : “thank you “

Zoe : “baby let me finish cleaning I will be right

back and wena Zweli behave don’t give my
man a hard time “

pointing at Zweli the guys laughed while we

continued to drink and getting acquainted fuck
I was getting sloshed right now but what else
to do when I have demons and angels fighting
inside of me fuck I had no care in the world
right now I looked on my side and realised
that Langa was gone and Zoe was not on sight
as well

Zweli : “ I hope Langa is not banging my sister in

my aunts house “

Sbu : “ by Traditional laws he has every right to

tap it anywhere now “
Zweli : “ dud you talking about my baby sister
la “

Sbu : “ Dud she practically married to the guy “

Bongani : “ and they are fucking right now no

doubt “

Me : “ you guys are crazy “

We bust out and laughed Zoe came out the

house with Langa behind her and she was
smiling from ear to ear

Zweli : “ ohh hell no ! “ Zweli tried to stand up

Bongani : “ Portia come tame your idiot before
he makes a fool of himself “

Just by the mention of Portia name Zweli set

down … what!!! just happened we bust out and
laughed

Sbu : “ oooh my God … Nkulunkulu ono fefe …

thixo !!“

Me : “ what’s the wrong with you? “

his expression was like so exaggerated its like

he saw the ghost or something “

he just pointed I looked up and saw Zoe and

Pam hugging Pam was still on her uniform

me: well home time for me “ I said standing up

Langa : “ what’s got him looking like and this “

Referring to sbu who was still gasping with his

mouth open

Me : “beats me ” Langa was on his was just

came to say bye to us and then out of nowhere
Sbu stood up and did the most outrageous
thing ever that got us in stitches

Sbu : “Nkosazana is it really you ? “ his eyes

were fixed at Pam
Pam : “Do I know you? “

Sbu: “Guys its her in the flash ooh thank you

Jesus ... my Mystery cop lady who gave me
a ticket for speeding and a fine for asking for
her number declaring that I’m seducing a law
officer “

Everybody laughed this guys kodwa

Me : “ oh .hell no!! you the stalker ??? “

Pam held her mouth and I just bust out and

laughed
Sbu : “ you know how long I have been looking
for you “

Me : “ yes we have a clue “ I chuckled nudging

pam who gave me an eye

Bongani : “ yep it her I can tell by her ass man

you were not joking when you said its huge “

Pam : EXCUSE ME !! “

Me : “ guys this is my sister you eyeing like

that“

Sbu popped his eyes “ what ?? … and you did

not tell me ? “
I shook my head and laughed this guy is crazy
and how was I supposed to know that you my
sister mystery man that I clearly though does
not exist

Pam : “ i'll be in car …bye guys “

Sbu : but .. I’m .. “ pam just walked away I

hugged Zoe first bump the guys and said my
goodbyes Sbu was just standing there like a
statue and I had a feeling that this is start of
something big between Pam and Sbu.

The ride back home was hilarious I could not

stop laughing and Pam was just so annoyed
Me : “ lighting up Sisi … besides he is a good guy
just that today he was sloshed but I will never
forget the look on his face when he saw you
priceless “

Pam : “ shut up Trey … yazi if I knew that…. that

fool will be there I should have not come to
picked you up “ I just cracked up and laughed
I was so out of it that I didn't even make it to
my bedroom I just passed out on the couch
fuck I was drunk

*
*

Sunday came I had the mother of all hang over

I tried lifting my head but damn it was bloody
heavy I felt presence of someone sitting next to
me but I could not see who they were

“ who’s there ? “ I asked in panic but no answer

I looked around and noticed that I was alone

Pam : “ who you talking too ?

Me : “ not to loud please “

Her: “ wake up we need to go buy groceries “

Me : “ go alone “

Her : “ I don’t eat alone so wake up Trey “

Ahhh… I drag my tired self to the bathroom I

kept feeling the need to look behind me as if
someone is watching me It was an unsettling
feeling after taking a berth I wore my
sweatpants and plan t-shits and flops

Me : “ lets go “

Her : “ kwl … you driving right “

I looked at her and shook my head

Her : “ Trey you can not leave in fear for the
rest of you life take a lip of faith “ she was
nagging me the minute we jumped inside the
car I just tuned the radio on and ignored her
she sighed and continued to drive we did lot
of shopping from food clothes essentials
and we finally we settled for late lunch at speer
I was not feeling like talking today pam thought
that I’m still heart by yesterdays event of Zoe
getting married but I just did not feel like
talking today

Her : “ So she is really taken “

I nodded since my mouth was full

Her : “ and mr is so yummy i must admit “

I shook .my head like relay pam Sbu was

going all gaga on you and you were busy
drooling at somebody else man rolled my
eyes and ignored her she was chapping away
while I just wish she could just shut up .

I felt shadow standing next to me infect I saw

a shadow next to me when I turned I to look I
accidentally slapped my glass of juice on the
floor

Pam : “ Trey ! “

Me : aaah … I think we have to go “

Pam : “ what !!! “

me: “ Pam I feel like there is … “ there was a

lot of voices that I was hearing it was like an
audio that was turned on in my ears I knew
what was coming next and I could not allow
pam to see me in that state

I stood up and rushed out my head was buzzing

I was starting to have a blurry vision I needed
air I ran outside and stood by the door and held
on into my ear there was one distinguish
voice it was calling for me the other voices
were not making sense and making me dizzy

Voice : focus stop clouding you thought focus

on my voice MVELO ! “

Me : “ make it stop please “ I sank down and

held on to my ears till I felt hands touching me

“ hay … I’m here” it was Pam it was as if

everything just became mute I could see her
mouth moving but I could not here her I
looked ahead and I almost jumped it was an
old man well groomed with straight face and
grey hair he was wearing a Swati attire with
leopard skin on his left shoulder

Him : “ finally we meet “

I looked at him he has distinguish futures he

looked grumpy and had that aura of ‘ i'm not
here to play games ‘ to be honest I felt a bit
nervures he had a frown on his face

Him : “ Mvelo “ I felt like the earth was shaking

when he spoke

Him : “ the veil is removed you are now

connected to the spiritual world and physical
world I need to talk to you so come with me
now “

I felt a sharp pain in my heart and screamed it

was some sort of spear that piecing inside of
me the last thing I remember was seeing pam
crying and screaming for help
Chapter 17

Voice“ boy you better wake up “

I set up straight and looked at my surroundings

it my first time being in here or is it ? it looked
familiar but I was unable to put my mind on
where I saw such a place before fuck my
memory is so foggy .
The chair in front of me stood tall and mighty
at the altar this room was big and was designed
with earthy elements it looked like a palace I
just realised that I’m not in my house right now
but in some royal hall with lot of animal skin
and sculptures it was like an art gallery I closed
my eyes to try and think why this room look so
familiar to me and it finally hit me … it the same
room I saw in the portrait when I first had my
episode at the beach remember when i strike
the two guys with lightning and I was
teleported to where I was born the first time I
saw my biological mothers face i just laughed
thinking about that day yoo the things i go
through kodwa .

The chair in front of me was a throne chair with

leopard and lion skin on it i heard
A door opened and I head foot step
approaching me

Him : “ good you are wake “

I looked around but I did not see no one I

panicked my gut told me that there is a dark
forces approaching me and my heart started
beating abnormally fear was evidence I hate
it when my thought takes over and I give in to
fear memories of the pain in my chest came
flooding and I held my chest I thought about
Pam she must be devastated panic filed my
whole body i can not stand the pain i put her
through
Him : “ relax you not dead ….. yet “

I shoot my eyes open “ what ? “

I looked behind me it was the old man he was

walking towards me

Me : “ where am I ? “it came a whisper

Him : “ in my house “

He stood there looking at me and I must

admit I was a bit shaken the way he looked at
me it was as if he is trying to figure out who I
am my gaze did not move from his as well the
staring contest lasted for a while and then he
placed his hands on his chin his guard was
down his face softened it like he saw
something in me this gave me an upper hand
because I felt power and I sense that he was
hesitance with whatever he planed to do to me

Him : “ who are you ? “

Fuck I hate that question I just looked at him

having no clue how to respond …. I felt anger
and rage but when I closed my eyes I Saw the
lion's face looking at me that gave me a will
and a voice

Me : “ I don’t answer to nobody about who am

I“
My voice roared which made him look deep
into my eyes his grey eyes were scarring me but
I was sick and tired of being a victim shit I
hate that my body and spirit leave and drift to
to different lives I just want to be normal and
overcome the challenges of my calling I
remember Bab Mojozi advised

“never allow fear consume you when you feel

lost remember God is by your side “

I breath out loud and said a shot prayer I felt

my body worming up as if someone placed a
throw over my shoulders

Him : “ who do you think you are talking to me

like that ?? “
Fuck this old man is pissing me off now

Me : “ I guess I’m important since you have

such huge interest in me “

I walked around this place I felt something I

have not felt throughout my life ...powerful
courage strength my mind and body was
acting out I have no clue what was taking over
me but fuck I like it

He started to laugh and it irritated the fuck out

of me

Him : “ you playing with fire boy … and no one I

mean no one speak to me like that …This is my
Kingdom I’m Somdala the powerful king that
ever ruled in the Mnguni tribe ……

I did let him finish

Me : “ bla… bla .. bla … and you dead and you

have been dead for centuries … look old man
there is a new king in-town … i'm still alive … …
so who's stronger than who vele ? “

His look changed he was shocked there was

blust of thunder and lighting blue and red
lighting hitting the ground where I was standing
in every time it strike there was force shield
that did not allow it to touch me
Him : “ it can not be you are dead … “ guess this
is my time to laugh now

Me : “ guess I’m not “

Him : “ you an imposter … it can not be … boy

you better tell me who you are or I swear to the
royal blood running inside me I will kill you “

Me :” what stopping you than old man “

He looked at me as if he was thinking he raised

his hands and again still the lighting did not hit
me

Him : “ impossible … “ he looked at me

Me : “ you do not know what I have been
through I’m sick and tired to stand here and
let this evil forces torment my life if it's not
the calling it my bloody Aunt Khwezi who want
my head on her chopping board was it not
enough that she killed my parents now she
send you to kill me … why would they say my
spirit is linked to yours if you wish death upon
me ? “

Voice : :” Mvelo !! … don’t talk like that to your

elders “

I looked on my side it was Gogo I bowed my

head in respect
Her : “ Baba … sawbona “ she set down on one
of the grass mat on the floor and bowed her
head wow so much respect for the man who’s
trying to kill me what the fuck is happening?

Him : “ Nomacawe kwenzakalani ? “

Her : “ Baba … This is your great grandson

Mvelo his Leo's son “

He looked at me and I looked at him up and

down

Him : “ I don’t understand … I was told he died“

She shook her head

Her : “ Baba kuhle ukuthi siye kwi mpophomo
( may we kindly have this conversation by the
waterfall ) … this place is not pure anymore “

Him : “ Kwenzakalani Nomacawe “

Her : “ Baba ukhwezi possess you

(ukuthwabulile ) and you under her control she
filled your head with lot of things that are not
true and used your spirit to wipe out any
generation of the royal blood “

Him : “ ini ? kanjani “

Her : “ she used inhlabathi yamathuna and

mixed it with dark magic trapping your spirit
inside and controlling it to do her evil deed “

He shook his head in disbelief

Her : you the only one connection to Mvelo

because you share the same power so she used
evil 'muthi' on your graveyard and manipulated
you spirit to go against Mvelo you are summon
to Killing him since she has tried and failed
because Mvelo is more powerful than any
other royal blood that existed in this place and
he carries and posses spirit of Naomi the
powerful spiritual prophet of the East Ndoni
the powerful river goddess and the spirit of all
the lions kings that have fallen “
Him: “ Ndoni ? “

And within an instant i felt presence of people

in the room I looked on my right it was Ndoni
she was not alone she was standing with
women and man that were dressed like
amazon tribes 5 huge eagle flew in and stood
by side the lion road and made there way in a
pride of about 15 to 20 male lions big as shit
this animals were huge and I felt like an ant
in-between then I looked on my right I was with
warrior angels and women that was glowing
she looked so angelic and was wearing white
dress she smiled at me and I could not help
but smile back

Somdala : “ this was a prophecy ….” He pointed

at me ” oooh my god what have I done ? “
Her : “ baba you did not know we can still lift
the curse “

Somdala : “ take him out of here she knows …

“ out of blue there was shadows around the
room and the lion started to rower they were
sensing something Noemi looked at me ” Prey
child call upon the havens it has started “

there was lot of chaos and commotion I

screamed since I felt Uncomfortable pressure
squeezing my body there was a fullness burning
tightness or pain in the centre of my chest I
look up Somdala was also on the floor looks like
whatever I was feeling he was affected as well
I screamed and felt my eyes bleed
Somdala : “ I will fix this now get him out of
here “ he said raising his hands

Ndoni : “ this is war …!! “ she said

I felt Shortness of breath Unusual fatigue and

the Pain

Sponsored
 Unusual fatigue and the Pain numbness
pinching prickling or other uncomfortable
sensations in one or both arms my back was
broken into half a twist on my neck jaw I
screamed because it was killing me Gogo was
kneeling next to me speaking a language I did
not understand the minute I shoot my eyes
open I felt a ball on my trough that wanted to
come out and out of nowhere I vomited blood
with some dark substance “
Voice : “ we losing him “

I looked on my surrounding and I was in

hospital I was struggling to keep my eyes open
i was stacher because i was moving
Pam : “ no … no Trey please don’t do this to me
“

Voice : “ sorry mam I will need to ask you

stand outside “

Pam : “ no… that's my brother Trey please!!!

“ her cries made me so weak

I felt my spirit and soul being grabbed inside of

me and I screamed in agony I felt machines
beeping and my felt my body letting go ….
Every sound I head was slowly but surely
fading … .
.

Back at the caves***

Gogo Nomacawe****

Every time when I teleport to the spiritual

world I feel like my body is undergoing
electrical shock it get hard and harder as I age
I felt liquid uzing on my nose nose bleed I
wiped it with the back of my hand today was
intense I always Knew that Mvelo is powerful
I felt it when he was born but what I witness
today was just magical the child is gifted and
it will be forces of the Yin and Yang fighting
throughout his life In all my spiritual journey I
have never seen the eagles that represent the
seer spirit.

I gulp down the water and set down i looked at

the valley mountain and just cried it make
sense now no one can train Mvelo his
spiritual calling need his ancestors to guide him
through it's a journey that he need to take
alone I fear for his life because he need to be
strong mentally and physically to communicate
with his spiritual guide but he is too soft and
question his ability he does not believe in him
self and this will allow the calling to break him.

I went back inside the cave to consult with my

ancestors I lite my candles and

incense the minute I start to consult the yellow

and white candle with blow out

Me : “ no… no … no !!! “ this was bad I have

no connection to Mvelo now … God please I
just set there and attempted again but still it
continued to happen till i felt rage building up i
ended threw everything in my sight away . I set
there and cried this was taking a huge toll on
me right now Mvelo was our only hope in this
lands .

when looking back at my life I came to realise

that I have had it bad it was not easy to live in
this land with a witch like Khwezi on my back
ever since Khwezi took over... or should i say
forcefully took over the kingdom things have
gone from bad to worse the caves have been
my only refuge since it a sacred place and she
could not get in.

Nomakhwezi has tarnished the lands and killed

all the royal blood of her family her evil heart
and greed has made her the most powerful
witch of them all in this Lands she may have all
the riches and power of the kingdom but she
can never be happy the land is dry and no
vegetation in sight there has not been rains in
this place for years now the kingdom is doom
because the throne is not hers to keep.

“ sthandwa sami “ I looked up and he stood

there and smiled it kills me to see him because
he was the one that made all of this happened

Me : “ my King “ he set next to me and I placed

my head on his shoulder and just cried I’m all
alone in this kingdom and I’m fighting a battle
that is so hard to win I feel so defeated right
now .
I know you probably thing and asking who am I
and what my relationship is to Trevor lets just
say that I’m one of his living relatives left to tell
the tale on what happened to his parent and to
this land.

I’m Trevor’s grandmother not by blood but I

was chosen to marry his grandfather Nkosi ya
Bantu Mnguni as his spiritual wife my fate
was chosen for me when I came of age at an
age of 14 years by then I was unable to
control my powers I was born with spirit of
being Sangoma a traditional healer my
initiation process was not easy like most
Sangomas will have their own stories to tell I
had to go under water and consult with my
spiritual side for years and when I came out
after achieving and mastering my calling
already the evil forces were ruling the kingdom
I grew up being shown that there powerful
being that will be born in the Kingdom that I
had to protect at first I did not know who it
was but as soon Leo came back with a
Pregnant Jane i knew from then that this was
my destiny …

Bantu: “ you need to help him “

Me : “ I’m trying baba but it's difficult

Mvelo is Linked to Somdala… Somdala’s spirit is
used for evil purposes by Khwezi and this is
torturing Mvelo in process “

Him : “ this was all my fault if only I accepted

Leo and Jane without driving them away
Khwezi will have not gotten an upper hand to
destroy the kingdom “

I sign I do blame him as well Nkosi’ya Bantu is

one stubborn man i guess it runs in the family
all Mnguni man there word is always final and
they do not listen to reason there arrogant
and it's also does not help that they have blood
and heart of lion in them as well and it makes it
even worse “
Him : “ I’m sorry my love I know how much you
resent me for all the decisions I made that lead
to this events “

I stood up and walked outside of cause I’m

angry it all his fault and I made sure that he see
the outcome of his action so I trapped his soul
on earth because he is the only thing that will
make me fight to get the land back to its
rightful owner I guess I resented the fact that I
spend my life waiting to be his wife and he had
to die with ought him showing me an ounce of
affection judge me all you want but he is the
only source of my sanity in this mountain.

Him : “ Nomacawe don’t allow your heart to

be clouded remember you can not fight evil
with evil “
I looked at him “ what did you say ? “

He was astonished at my facial expression “ you

can not fight evil with evil “ he said slowly

Me : “ so if Khwezi is using witchcraft muthi and

dark magic to torment Somdala and Mvelo so
if we strike using Mvelo spiritual side she won't
see what’s coming “

He smiled “ you one wise women “

Me : “ I need to consult with Naomi she also

linked to Mvelo “ finally there is light at the end
of the tunnel
.

Chapter 18

I swear to God if you keep dragging your feet

like that I will call upon the heavens to deal
with you “

Me : “ mom I can not find my other socks “ I

yelled from my room

Her : “just wear your shoes without socks or

socks that do not match for the love of Christ
we going be late for church “

she yelled back I exhalation I was not in the

mood to go to church I was looking forward in
spending the day in the couch playing video
games I just set in my bed hoping that she will
get the picture.

Her : Trevor Michel’s don’t make me come up

there !!!”

from an early age I always had a manipulating

side in me to make things go in my favour few
minute later mom walked in my room and I had
my game face on ‘ crocodile tears with puppy
face ‘ she set next to me and made me sit on
her lap

Mom : “ what’s wrong my boy? what’s the real

reason you do not want to go to church ? “

Me : “ I’m tired mom i go to school Monday

to Friday Saturday I go to music classes and
Sunday I just want to rest mom I’m tired
please mom let me sleep “
She looked at me amazed that how can a 7 year
old talk about being tired this way she smiled
and brushed my back

Her : “ I’m sorry son I did not know that you are
this tired ”

I smiled and placed my head on her chest

Her : you know Sunday is considered a day of

rest A day to reflect upon the week past and
the upcoming week It is a day to count our
blessings and enjoy the beauty of creation that
surrounds us For many Sunday is a day that is
spent with family and friends. Whatever your
Sunday is spent doing enjoy and be thankful
this day so tell me my boy are you Thankful ?
“

Me : “ I am thankful mom”

Her : “but tell me something what are thankful

for ?

Me : “ I’m thankful for waking up this morning “

it something that mom always made me and

Pam say every morning when we wake up
before stepping out of bedroom we need to
pray and say ‘ dear God thank you for giving me
life to see another day amen ‘

her : who gave you life ? the air that you

breath ? the sun that warms your face in the
morning ... ooh better yet who gave you mom
and Pam ? “

Me : “ God “ I mumbled

She smiled

Her : “ who should you be thanking ? “

Me : “ God... “ I said softly

Her : “ where do we feel God's presence ? “

Me : “ church ... “ I said softly

Her : “ chin up my boy and let's go be thankful
for everything we have “ she kissed my cheek
and ruffled up my thick curly -afro I took my
socks that I had hide under my metres put it on
and walked out of my room. ~~~

I was brought back to reality by Pam voice I

felt her presence near me she was holding on
to my hand

Pam : I'm coming to you today as your child

longing to hear from you and asking for your
divine healing towards my brother. There's so
much I don't understand about life. But I do
know that with one touch one word you can
make him whole Please cleanse him and begin
your healing from the inside out … “

She sniffed I wanted to open my eyes but

they felt so very heavy I remembered the
dream or was it my past memory I had of my
mother earlier showing me the impotence of
being thankful of what I have it was like a
reminder that I need to pray seek guidance
from the lord but where do I start every thing
is just a mess with my life nje

I was disturbed by voice of a person clearing his

trough my eyes were still shut and I was still
not responsive i can hear everything that is
said but I was still in my own limbo.

Pam : “ how is he today Dr ? why is my brother

not waking up ? what’s wrong with him ? “

Dr : “ his symptoms are still not clear but it

looks like he had a seizure that may have been
caused by lack of oxygen in his brain and might
had lead to him having a mini stroke and going
to coma”

Pam : “ oooh my God ... I don’t understand he

was fine few hours ago and he just started
bleeding from his nose and ears and his body
started shaking like really bad he was
screaming in agony and I had no clue what
made him act like that “

Dr : mmmmm “

She cried and that alone broke my heart in

million pieces so I’m in coma ? but Kanjani ?
all I remember is that I was with Somdala in his
royal house ooooh no! could this be because
of Khwezi’s witchcraft ? ... she won ? no God It
can not be? I can not be defeated like this! this
will brake pam ... I had beeping sounds going
off

Pam : “ no …. No Trey please “

Dr : “ mam please stand outside now … “ I

heard pam calling my name

Dr : “ his crashing!… give me 3mls of Clobazam

and of lamotrigine NOW !! “

Voice : yes Dr “

there was lot of movement that was happening

I felt my body getting cold fuck what
happening to me I don’t know how long i was
out but I felt hands brushing my arm

Pam : “ how is he now ? “

Dr : “ his stable but critical he keeps going in

and out of coma his seizures might cause his
heart to stop “

She held my hand a little tight fuck wake up

Trey … fight this man … its like I was conscious
but also in deep sleep

Pam : “ will he wake up ....? “ she sniffed

Dr “ well his CT scan still does not show any

major damaged on his brain as I did say Ms it
still not clear why he went under we still
running test so I do not have that answer
right now “

Me : “ no ... “
she wept and that alone forced me to dig inside
to wake up I finely shoot my eyes open and
realised that I was in mountain peak what the
fuck ? I looked at my surrounding everything
was majestically no trace of life or whatsoever
and fuckin cold … what the fuck am I doing here
Pam need me to wake up … I need to wake
up … I just screamed in frustrating ….

I heard the Dr voice fading : “ it's good you pray

for him chances are that it will bring him back
Usually a coma does not last more than a few
weeks Sometimes however a person stays in a
coma for a long time — even years — and will
be able to do very little except breathe on his
or her own. Most people do come out of comas
Some of them are able to return to the normal
lives they had before they got sick. Just have
faith ... “

Pam : “ Thank you “

Dr : “ but I would advise that you also freshen

up and rest a bit I will call you if there is any
change “

Pam : “ but … “

Dr : “ Ms your brother is in good hands but

you have not slept for two day now since you
brought your brother in go freshen up and
rest I will call you “

I did not hear her say any thing just footsteps

and shuffling I guess she took the Dr orders i
have to wake up I need to wake up not only for
me But for Pam's sake as well .

I set down trying to figure out where I am…

really fuckin mountain? … what am i even doing
here ? the thought of my spirit being away
from my body for two day caused my brain to
stop functioning God can not take me like this
no I curled up in some grass that looked like is
was some sort of nest might have been a big
bird that rested in here for once in ages I went
to a peaceful slumber I felt something worm
next to me I was to tired to open my eyes I
just cuddle myself and my aim was to prey that
i return back home I was about to alter a
word when I heard Pam voice
Pam : Today I have given you the choice
between life and death between blessings and
curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to
witness the choice you make. Oh that you
would choose life

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so that you and your descendants might live!

-Deuteronomy 30:19…
She sigh and held my hand funny how I feel
her touch but can not touch or see her her
presence gives me hope that I will make it out
from this interplanetary .

Pam : For years this verse haunted me. I didn’t

believe life — particularly love joy peace etc. —
were choices. I always thought circumstances
played a role. Simply choosing love and joy was
too easy. But what if it’s true? … please wake
up Trey to help me understand … I need you “

instead of waking up in a hospital bed I kept on

having flash back on of my childhood memory
its like my life drift from past ... future and
present time ... and it feels so dahm real.
it was summer holidays and I was chilling by
pool area in my house drinking my ice cold
soda

Mom : Trey …! “ ooh boy i felt like peeing

myself

Mom : “ boy I’m calling you … “ I wanted to run

but I was busted so lying was my only option
now

Her : “what did you do to my car ? “

She was fuming

Me : “ whatever it mom .. I didn't do it “

Her : “ it has you written all over it so spiel it

out ? don’t try me Trevor !!”

I took her car for spin after washing it today I

was a very tall 12 year old that was my
advantage to be able to navigate the car gears
and I was beyond rebellious and naughty
growing so on my way back I accidently dent
her car I was hoping that she wont notice since
mom was old like grandma old

Me : “ Ma what did I do now ?? “

Her : “ don’t act dumb boy God is my witness

you drove my car without my permission “

Me : “ mom ... I swear to God! ... and God is my

witness I did no such! “

She came charging towards me and pinch and

twisted my ear

Her : are you trying to be smart with me ? “

Me : “mom ... aahhhhh ! “

Her : what’s The Third Commandment ??? “

I screamed in pain :"Thou shalt not take the
name of the Lord thy God in vain"

Her : “ and what you doing right now ??“ God I

hate when we start having this question and
answer augment because I end up feeling like
an idiot mom always hit me with bible verses
it was her greatest weapon when it comes to
scowling me but as i grow up I learned to
challenge her you know twist her arm

Her : I’m talking to you for the love of Christ

demit “ she said twisting my ear

Me : “ mom! And you shall not swear by

God's name falsely nor shall you profane the
name of your God! “

Her : “ I can do as such because I’m the parent

and That is why Jesus warned us to not swear
falsely in Matthew 5:33–37 “

She let go of my ear and looked at me

me : “But if the person is a Christian and in

anger brought dishonour to God by a word or
some sin that is a sin !!.. Romans 8:1 teaches
us that there is no more condemnation for
Christians. “

I shoot back
him : “ Trey ... ! “

me : “ mom !“

her : “ if you have sin you needs to confess in

order to repair the relationship with God “

me : “ but mom I did not dent you car !“

she laughed “ I never said anything about you

denting my car only a guilty person confess to
sin he has done “

me : “ shit “ I said softly

her : “ that why 1 John 1:9 teaches us to repent
and 1 John 2:1 reveals that Christ protects us.
Therefore if Christians take the name of the
Lord in vain they are not in danger of going to
hell or the lake of fire since all of their sins were
forgiven when they became a Christian. Yet
they need to confess the sin in order to restore
their relationship with God. “

I give up this women is good at this game I

definitely feel like an ass I never win so I told
her what happened and how her car came
about to have dent not forgetting to
apologize in the process I was grounded for a
mouth not for denting the car but for trying
to get away with it and trying to lie my way out
by using God's name yep this women you can
never touch her when it comes to her faith
later on that day she walked into my room and
set next to me

Her : I have discovered that trouble is one of

God's great servants because it reminds us how
much we continually need Him.. I’m so proud
that you pay attention to Sunday school and
you know your scripture “

I looked at her and smiled

Her : “ just remember that Wise are they who

have learned these truths - Trouble is
temporary … Time is tonic… Tribulation is a test
tube … Prayer is our greatest weapon from all
the troubles in this world “ I smiled again while
she gave me a side hug.

Beep … beep … beep I opened my eyes I was

on the air flying not me flying but I was on
top of something that was flying a bird... no …
a lion ...what a lion with wings ?? I looked at it
but the wind was to powerful and I shut my
eyes I held on tight the worm of the beast was
helping me but it was a bit chilly in this
surroundings it finely slowed down I guess it
was descending I opened my eyes and the
beeping sound got louder and louder … I tried
to open my eyes but the light were blinding me

Voice: check his airway and help him maintain

respiration and circulation.

Women voice : “ Hay Trevor look at me my son

“ the voice was warm and kind so I had no
choice to slowly open my eyes at first it was
blurry and I noticed an African middle age
women dressed in nurse uniform smiling at me
I looked on my left a white man in his white
coat was busy monitoring blood transfusions
drip that was pinned to my arm

Dr : “ welcome back to the world of living

Trevor … “ he was shouting speaking louder
than normal giving me headache nxa!

He was busy doing his physical exam checking

the movements of my limbs and reflexes and if
I’m responding to painful stimulation my
pupil size he was busy observing my breathing
patterns I guess he was doing his diagnose to
check the cause of the coma and my state. But
it was annoying me to the core at this point

Dr:” how are you feeling ? “ finally he speak

really?

Me : “ how long was I out ? “

He raised an eyebrow and looked at his chart

Him : “ aaaah … 3-4 days “

What ? I guess my facial expression gave me

away

Him : “ care to explain what might have caused

the your seizure ? “

Yooo why is this man asking me this dumb

question his the Dr I’m suppose to be on
receiving end about what went down with me

Me : “ you the Dr care to explain ?? “

Nurse : “ yoooh !“
I looked at her I was about to release my wrath
to her as well when I saw my mother ( the
women who raised me ) seating on one of the
stool in my ward shaking her head in
disappointment

Dr : we believe that the Events leading up to

the coma has something to do with your
medical history… if you may have had in the
past such as a stroke or transient ischemic
attacks … since all the test came back
negative … its inconclusive so we still going to
run more test … “
I did not allow him to finish and asked them to
leave my ward I was mad angry infect I’m not
going to allow him to make me his giny pig I’m
nobody lab rat

Mom : “ Trevor what have I taught you all your

life “ she said that the minute the Dr and Nurse
walked out

Me : “ to have faith .. respect ...to believe in

myself “

Mom : “ and what are you doing ? “ hayboo

even as ghost she still makes this debates
question and answer conversations with me ?

Me : “ mom in tired why is all this shit

happening to me ? “

She gasped

Her : “ why not you …? “

Me : “ mom .. they say I have calling … I’m

seer … I’m sangoma … a link to the spirit world
and the living … its torture the things I go
trough .. why God does not intervene when I
need him “

Me : “ when last did you call up on him ? “

Me : “ mom … not this questions please! I need
your help please !“ I wept and she sigh

He: “We don’t choose our callings by definition

we’re called to them. … God calls us we don’t
call ourselves “

I looked at her with my tears just streaming

down

Her : “No doubt each person is called and gifted

individually but a true understanding of calling
recognizes that we’re called not for mere
personal gratification but for the good of
others …. Remember … Rom. 12:4–5; 1 Cor.
12:12–31; 1 Pet. 4:10–11 .
Me : easier said than done Mom

She smiled and wiped my tears

Her: We find our callings with… by… and in

serving others. And we fulfil our callings as
others fulfil theirs. … Trey this is your destiny
remember you the chosen one you of pure
blood you can amount to anything you
believe you can be have faith believe in the
spiritual side that is anointed in you and your
ancestral side and they will work together
cooperatively you are the reason there is chaos
inside of you need to let go of the negativity
and doubt “
Me : “ but mom … “

“ no buts son … I love you I believe in you and

I’m always by your side … you got this my boy “

She kissed my forehead I felt a bit of warmness

in me she looked at me

Her : “ I have to go now remember what I

taught you What you choose to see
determines your reality. You have the power to
change your reality by shifting your focus. …
give Pamela a warm hug for me .. “

I looked down and I felt hands attacking me I

smelled her perfume and I just rest my head on
her shoulder

Pam : “ never do that to me yezwa Trey … “ she

squeezed the day light of me and I was
grateful to have her in my arms that I could not
hold my tears as well one thing mom tough
me was that Every cloud has a silver lining … I
maybe have lost my faith that why evil attacks
me ... but it time i fight back

Me : “ pam please pray with me “ … It came out

as a whisper

Chapter 19
To think that I have had it bad is an
understatement I finally accepted my calling
and the minute I allowed my head and soul to
my calling crazy shit just came flooding in
channelling my spiritual side and ancestral side
was just tiger war on its own but I learned to
meditate and listen to the voice within my
visions and dreams have became a day today
thing funny how they dont scare me anymore.

I have been bouncing in and out of hospital for

the past two weeks it's good to say that my
state of mind and health is slowly deteriorating
pam has been stressed to a level that she has
lost weight and she also took few days off from
work.

Today was just another day that I was getting

discharged from hospital I was so looking
forward to leaving this place and get on with
my life I was falling behind with my school
work and that alone stressed me so much.

Apparently the reason why I was admitted in

hospital is because I woke up with swallow feet
5 day back after I dreamt that I was being
chased by hyenas it felt so real and after
running for my life in the most darkest dance
bushes I woke up tired the following morning
with bleeding and swollen feet and ankles
creepy right? Yap that what I thought as well
Pam rushed me to hospital and yet again the Dr
could not explain the cause but decided to
admit me I have been in this hospital for four
days now and they only have help with the
swelling and pain on my feet.

Dr : “ you sure that you did not strain your legs

as in standing up too long or doing any
excessive exercise that might have caused the
swelling ... ? “
Me : “ Dr I have been in the hospital for 4 days
now you have ruled out that the swelling was
not caused by my heart liver or kidney disease..
For the last time I do not have any Kidney
disease that might have cause my foot and
ankle to swell.!!! … since you clearly have no
clue on what caused it …why don’t you just
discharge me now so that I can seek other
medical assistance since you clearly
incompetence ! “

Pam : “ Trey !! “

She walked in with Zoe Pam had a frown on her

face I just turned my head and looked the other
way
Dr : “ may I have a word with you in private
mam “ she referred to Pam the minute they
walk out I took a deep breath

Zoe : “ you so rude bro kanti what did the Good

Dr do to you ? ? “

Me : “ shut up and help me seat up straight “

Her : “ yoooh ! “

She helped me seat up and set next to me in

my bed Zoe and Sindy have been checking up
on me ever since my health took a wrong turn
I last attended school Friday before Zoe lobola
negotiation and that was 2 or 3 weeks back I
guess me being sick has made Zoe and Sindy
resolve their issues .

Her :” so today you getting discharge how do

you feel about it? “

Me : “ I wish I can say happy but I know that

my happiness will be short lived since I will end
up back in here soon “

Zoe : “ hay don’t talk like that please “ she had

worry look on her face

Me : “ I’m sorry… I’m just tired of being sick you

know and stressed about exams that are
coming up which I may not get a chance to
even write “

Her: “ dark or blue you will write Sindy and I

have drawn up time table to help you catch up
and assist you with studying and preparing for
your exams “

I looked at her and smiled

Her : “ I got you bro don’t stress o’right just

focus on getting better nje “

There was soft nock on our door we shifted out

attention to some girl standing by the door
Voice: ” excuse me .. I just came to empty the
bin “

she said softly and i nodded

She smiled at us while Zoe continued to tell me

school gossip this one is turning into be like
Sindy right now I was disturbed by loud noise it
sounded like cries I listened carefully and yes
indeed is was cries it was a baby crying and it
was approaching or was it inside my room
fuck why can't this person hush the baby up the
crying was getting closer and closer I looked
around my room scanning my surrounding

Zoe : “ hay what up ? “

Me : “ do you hear that ? “

Zoe : “ what Trey ? “

She looked at me all confused at what I’m

hearing I looked on the direction of the lady
that was busy cleaning in my room

Me : “ hay “

She turned and looked at me she smiled but it

did not meet her eyes

Her : “ hi” she looked young maybe a year or

two older than me but why is she busy
cleaning up hospital and not in school or
something out of blue there was silence the
baby cries faded I looked into her eyes

Me : “ did you hear that ? “

She looked at

Her : “ what ? “

Me : “ a baby crying ? “

Her facial expression changed and she was

shocked she held her chest and tears started
streaming down her face I set up straight
lifting my upper body and looked at her she
made her way next to me

Her : “ can you hear them as well “ she held her

chest

Zoe : “ hold up what’s going here ? what are

you hearing ? “

Me : “ why are they crying ? “

Her : “ Oh my God you can hear them … good

lord you made it stop as well … “ she wiped her
tears and rushed out
Me : “ hay … !hay … !“ I called out but she ran
faster Zoe jumped off the bed calling out for
her

Zoe : “ what’s going on Trey ? “ I shook my head

trying to avoid the question I noticed that the
girl rushed out dropping her name tag behind
Zoe picked it up

Me : “ let me look at that “

She handed it to me it read it Nomcebo

Makhayi and I zoned out and had a vision

~~~
“ no baba not my baby please “ the girl
( Nomcebo ) was wearing her bloody dress
she was lying on the mattress just after giving
birth the man ( she called out as baba )took
the baby and gave the baby to another man
that was wearing Black suit shirt with
matching hat his face was hidden looked like
shadow

Cebo / dad : “ this is my sacrifice“

Man in Black suit : mmmm the baby of pure

blood your sacrifice will make you rich my
friend “

they took the baby to a dark room with red and

black candles lit around the room there was
smoke around that was fogging the room

Man 2: now take this dagger and call upon your

riches while slaughtering your sacrifice “

Cebo / dad took the knife the baby was a new

born naked not even cleaned it still had it
mother's amniotic fluid and screaming it lungs
out it like the baby was aware what about to
happen the man started talking and asking for
all kind of riches the dagger cut through the
child skin and it screamed in pain the man
continued to slaughter the baby till the baby
stop crying the two man laughed and the
baby was thrown in some bowl that had all
different herbs Cebo's dad took off all of his
clothes and started Mixing the baby blood with
some sticky substance he then smeared the
baby's blood on his body till he was red with
blood all over ~~~~~

I let go of the name tag and my heart started

beating up and down uncontrollably

Zoe : “ Trey what’s wrong …?? “ I held my chest

since I had saviour chest pains

Zoe rushed out to get help while I tried to

control my breathing Dr came with Nurse and
they sedated me I felt everything moving
slowly from then after and it was light out for
me

Voice : “ Mvelo “ I looked around and it was

Ndoni she was on her human form she was
seating on some big rock basking on the sun by
the river band yooh this women is wow she
smiled and shook her head

Her : “ you know you have it in you to help her

“

Me : “ I do ? “

She laughed

Her:“ funny you agreed to accept your calling

and by doing that you allowed us to have a
conversation with you but you do not call
upon us for help “
Me : “ what … “

Her :” story for another day you still have a long

way to go back to the issue at hand “

With in the wink of an eye she stood in front of

me I was looking deep into her ocean blue eyes

Me : why did they kill that baby “

Her : “ his father is member of some cult and

blood sacrifices are done for riches. wealth
they call it in particular the divine beings as an
act of propitiation or worship Human sacrifice
is the act of killing one or more humans usually
as an offering to a deity as part of a ritual “

Me : “ but that was evil I saw dark forces

there … “

She smiled “ you catch up really fast Mvelo “

I could still hear the baby crying and I was

getting a headache in process so I held my ears

Her : “ evil verses good Mvelo … the only way

to lift the curse is to call upon your spiritual
side prayer will free the child spirit and the girl
still need to go for cleansing”

Me : “ how do I do that ? “
Her :” the answer is within you my boy if you
call on your spiritual side everything will be
reviled for you “

I felt something over powering me

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and my eyelids feel heavy as if someone is

looking at me I opened my eyes slowly and I
noticed Cebo standing before me her eyes were
still red and puffy she looked like she was
crying for days I set up straight
Her : “ you made them stop crying “ she said
softly She then just started crying so much
that she started having hiccups I held her close
and brushed her back Pam attempted to walk
in she looked at me and I shook my head telling
her to give me space she did not dispute but
walked out without alarming the girl I set her
on the bed next to me and looked at her

Me : “why did he do it ? “

Her : “ my father is pat of some religious

brotherhood “
Me: “ cult ?”

She nodded

Me : at first I did not know why my mother

allowed my father to hurt me but one day I
overheard them talking about my blood being
pure and that I’m there only ticket to a better
life my father is a power hungry person and
he will go to whatever lengths to get power and
wealth ”

she held her face and told me her story

apparently her father molested her for years
and it was not her first baby that was sacrifices
it has been happening for the past few years 5
years ever since she was 15th while her
mother was fully aware of what was happening
under her roof and choice to keep quiet she
told me that she was born from well of family
and she was the only girl amongst 4 boys that
were her sibling after she found out she was
pregnant again her 4th pregnancy precise her
mother gave her one ticket to run away and
never come back she could not stand the
sacrifice that has been happening and all the
blood smeared because this was never going
end it was meant to continue for the rest of her
life she moved to Durban and stayed in the
street till she finally gave birth

Me : “ mind me asking what happened to the

baby? “
Her : I gave the baby away for adoption after
giving birth due to my condition I was not
financially feet to raise a child and it was going
to be a forever reminder of what I went trough
and in return the lady who adopted my baby
offered me a second chance in life she took me
to TEARS – shelter for rape victims and since
that day my life changed therapy and
cancelling they even help me get this Job as
starting point I moved out few months back
and now renting flat and also saving to go
back to school “

Wow she so brave and courageous and also

ambitious but she still so sad it like she walks
with weight of the world in her shoulders

She sniffed “ but I thought that I was free from

all the evil that my parents dragged into life but
for the past months I have been tormented by
crying babies and nightmares of what
happened to my baby’s I felt like I’m losing my
mind“

she was shaking clearly she was afraid of

something I noticed that her English has an
accent she is clearly not from around Durban

her : “ I spend my life looking behind my back

thinking that my father is going to find me and
do his worse … when you told me you can hear
my baby’s crying I thought that you part of my
father brotherhood and I just ran away“

Me : “ I’m sorry if I gave you a scare look I’m

not going to hurt you I just have … “

I swallowed hard and looked at her red eyes

and pale face I have never admitted to no one
that I have calling but I remember my mother
words that I need to embrace who I am I have
this gift in order to help other not for my
personal gain

Me : “ I can sense thing .. I can see things

basically I have calling so I Saw what you went
trough and what happened to your baby “
Her : why do they cry so much? The evil deed
my father did to them is following me
everywhere I go… I can not sleep eat without
me hearing my babies crying I could not help
them … “

She cried again barring her face on my shoulder

Her : “please make them stop … make them

stop please! “

I signed and looked at her this is what I hate

about my calling good lord I can see a
problem but how do I resolve it and where do I
find solution
Her : “ please Bhuti … help me please “

Ndoni Voice : “ you have the power to brake

the curse set the children spirit free from the
chains of evil “

I breath out loud and took her hands and held

them tight

Me : “ lets pray “ she bowed her head and

closed her eyes i opened my mouth and
allowed the holy spirit to lead me through this
prayer

Me : “ In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I

now bring the fullness of his cross death blood
and sacrifice his resurrection life and empty
tomb his authority rule and dominion; I bring
judgment from the Lord Jesus Christ against
every foul power witchcraft black art and curse.
I bring Jesus Christ cursed for you against all
curses that have been raised against
you—written spoken unspoken or transferred
to you. …

i now claim every spiritual blessing that my

Heavenly Father has given to me in Christ Jesus
(Ephesians 1:3). I claim those blessings right
here in the very place of all cursing by the
authority and power of the Lord Jesus Christ
and in his name. Jesus may these things be fully
accomplished now through your mighty name. I
give you thanks and honour and praise. All of
this I pray by the authority and in the mighty
name of the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth who
came in the flesh. In the name and by the blood
of Jesus Christ I break the power and hold of
every curse that has come to me through ritual
or ritual sacrifice. In Jesus name Amen “

I opened my eyes and right there I saw a ball of

light that's was shining right through the Cebos
heart she smiled and there was sense of
calmness within here she breath out loud as if
there was huge weight lifted off her shoulder

Her : “ thank you “ and out of blue she attacked

me with a hug

Her “ I feel so light “

Pam walked in she was smiling she cleared her
trough and we looked at her

Pam : “ hay” she waved

Me : “ hi Cebo please meet my sister Pam “

Cebo looked at me and frowned “ I believe this

is you name tag “

I took it from the side table and handed it to

her she smiled and got off from my bed

Her : “ thank you again “

Me : “ don’t thank me please thank the holy
spirit that lifted the curse“

She nodded she stopped by the door before

she walked out

“ may I have your cell phone number please “

Pam raised and eyebrow you see this one is

so forward its so crazy how she is so quick to
jump to conclusion I gave Cebo my 10 and
she read my name from her contact list

Her : “ Trey ? “
I laughed “ yes it short for Trevor “ she giggled
and nodded while making her way out

Pam : “ and what was that ? “ she playfully

punched my shoulder

Me : “ it’s a long story Pam so when am I

getting out of here ? “

She set next to me

Her : “ Trey you had another episode and the

Dr feels like you … “

I did not allow her to finish

Me : “ pam this is my life that’s on hold I’m
writing my quarterly exams in a weeks time I
need to prepare my self .. “

Her : “ but Trey … “

I was about to bite her head off when we were

disturbed buy yet another visitor

Sbu : “ Sho sguli! “I shook my head and laughed

Sbu walked in with a box of pizza and lot of junk
yep that’s my man

Me : “ proper food finally “

Pam rolled her eyes remember when I old

you that Sbu and Pam will hook up very soon
well it looks like soon is going to be soon she
may play hard to get right now putting Sbu on
friend Zone but I see trough her that she has
developed some kind of feelings for Sbu and
there is this spark between them while we
busy eating and talking all sort on crazy stuff
with Sbu the Dr walked in

Me : “ tell me you have my discharge form in

that file “

Pam : “ Trey! “ she glared at me

Me : “ what ? I feel fine now … and I have

exams to write… so what is it going to be Dr “ I
said that jumping off my bed my feet were
still so painful but I pretended that i'm fine and
took in the pain .

Chapter 20

I was Relieved that the Dr discharged me it was

a lot of convincing and screaming that he finally
agreed at least Sbu had my back and I was
over the moon when he said I’m free to go I
felt like I was freed from prison I still had to
lay off from school till my feet are fully
recovered that the deal I made with Pam
while Pam was at work I spend most of my days
Studying and catching up i'm so grateful for
all the notes that Sindy and Zoe drown up for
me it was helping indeed.

It good to say that after Cebo encounter I

haven’t had any nightmares and well thank God
for that I have connected with my spiritual
side and I have faith that with God I can concur
any obstacles I wonder why it took me this
long to realise that I have a healing mechanism
in me that can work in my favour if I’m
chosen to do good it means that evil will not
allow me to prosper I don’t know why I was
fighting my calling so long but I now realised
that all along I was the one who was making
myself sick for not accepting who I am.

I suddenly have this bad feeling like something

bad is going to happened and my guess is that
it could only be my Aunt I can sense that
Khwezi is up to no good I somehow wish that
I can confront her and ask her why she hates
me so much Just because I was born with this
blood inside of me she had to despise me and
the fact that I’m alive have so much power that
I have no control over is driving her insane as if
I chose this life Fuck man I was born like this
and I cannot help it this is just crazy she just has
an issue with me being born worse part is that
she hate who fathered me as well to a point
that she decided to erase him from the face of
the earth which is even more fucked up you
know they say that Family is supposed to be a
positive experience in a person's life It's where
we learn to build relationships and respond to
others as well as learn skills on the other hand
sometime the only thing that makes you a part
of a family is only the blood that runs through
your veins and nothing else.

I was disturbed by a beeping sound it was

massage from Cebo I smiled like a retard
when her name pop up on my phone screen

Her : hi Trey “

Me : “ hallo how are you doing ? “

Her : “ been good just finish registering “

Me : “ wow that good I’m so proud of you “

Cebo has been through a lot in her life but she

still find her inner strength to overcome her
nightmares

Her : “ yep # cebo the graduate lauding “

I laughed out loud well me and Cebo have been

chatting ever since the day we met it's good to
say that she in good space now and I’m grateful
that I was part of journey and made a huge
difference in her life she actually inspires me to
look at life in another perspective
the fact that she is alone worries me at times
but she knows what she wants in life and she
out there getting her own we chat for a while
till she finally said goodbye and she promised
will chat later after work.

There was blasting sound outside and knew

that it can only be one person Zoe and loud
music I shook my head as I made my way to the
door because Sindy on the other hand was
knocking like a mad person

Me : “ Sindy cut it out mannn! “

She attacked me with hug followed by Zoe the
minute I opened the door they still had there
school uniform on

Zoe : “ good you clean let go “

Me : “ where too ? “ I was wearing my

sweatpants and t-shirt with sleepers

Zoe : “ library and late lunch at McD”

Me : “ well if there is food involved lets go “

Sindy helped me with my backpack we locked

the door and first drove to McD for some lunch
Me : “ so where is the 3rd musketeer ? “ I was
referring to Mpume ever since I got sick
Mpume has not even once visited me or check
on how I was doing talk about friends that are
not loyal

Zoe laughed while sindy rolled her eyes

Zoe : “ well she say that she busy with School

work but she is also avoiding us because of
Thabo “

Me : “ what ? so Mpume and gorilla guy are

tight like that now ?“
Sindy : “ I think there is bit of obsession and
control with that guy and Mpume is just too
blind to see “

Zoe : “ I totally agree she told me that she once

called Thabo and a woman answered his phone
mind you he was on ‘ his business trip ‘ out of
town when that happened“

Me : “ what ? “

Sindy clapped once

Zoe : “ and guess what she did ? “

Me : “ what ? “
Zoe sipped her milkshake and gave us a devious
smile

Sindy : “ hayboo Zoe … khuluma!!”

I laughed and shook my head

Zoe : “ she said that it's nothing and she does

not want to think the worse Thabo makes her
happy and he loves her so she will overlook the
little voice in her head saying that he might be
cheating “

Me : “ what ?? “
Sindy : “ hawu buya Jesu kubi emhlabeni “

We bust out and laughed

Sindy : “ maybe you can talk to her Trey “

I popped my eyes why me ?

Zoe : “ well I tried talking to her about her

behaviour and she gave me attitude for days
somehow I feel like Mpume thinks we trying to
abolish her relationship with Thabo but
honestly we trying to look out for her well
being “

Me : “ might be because she dating an older

guy she feel obliged to submit him “

Sindy : “ what !!! look Zoe is dating Langa his

also an older guy you don’t see her losing her
morals over him “

Me : “ yaa you right … but no guys I can not

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 the last time I spoke to her she was Pmsing at
Zoe Negotiation ceremony she was on another
level of being dramatic so I let her be can you
believe that ever since I got sick she only send
me one lame Sms telling me to get better soon
no visit no calls no nothing and I must step in
to her affairs no ways guys she made her bed
she need to nap on it now “
Sindy : “ all I know is that Man like Thabo start
buy being controlling then verbal abuse and it
may end with physical abuse so if mpume will
feel this naïve it will not end well there is no
love when they is fear in relationship “

I looked at Sindy this topic really hint home for

her Zoe side hugged her and I was lost of
what just happened but I guess Sindy will
confide in me whenever she ready as well.
We made our way to the library and Zoe study
guide where out of this world I even felt like we
copying or cheating is it even legal to have such
high quality study material ?

Me : “ Zoe where did you get this Study

material ? “

Zoe : “ hay my man is Tech guru so he did his

thing and gave me a scoop “

Sindy : “ way to go Langa “

Me : “ so hi hacked the system ? “

Zoe : “ can you just focus on studying and stop
asking questions bro “

I laughed hay who am I to complain vele since

its been weeks away from school this will do
me good we studied till our brains were fried
Zoe made sure of it they dropped me back at
my house and it was already late it was after
18h00 I walked in and disturbed and intimate
moment between Sbu and Pam my sister
jumped from the couch

Her : “ you back?? “

Me : “ yes I’m back I live here remember? “

She was a bit jumpy that alone made me
chuckle

Pam : “ let me check on the pots “

Sbu : “ I thought you finished cooking ? “

I laughed while Pam rolled her eyes in

frustration

Sbu : “ Ndoda next time I’m giving you my card

and you can watch a movie or something you
just messed up a perfect moment between me
and my queen “ he whispered the minute I set
down
Me : “ you want to pay me to fuck my sister?
Are you hearing yourself now ?“

Him : “ dud I can't even get to first base with

her now you talking about me taping it .. “

I chuckled fuck Sbu got it bad shame we ate

our supper busy watching T.V and talking here
and there later on Sbu said goodbye and Pam
walked him out I went to the bathroom and
took a hot shower i felt the hair at the back of
my neck standing up as if somebody is with
me in this bathroom I looked around all I saw
was just steam I walked back to my room put
on my Pj short and t-shirt Pam slightly
knocked on my bedroom door

Her : “ are you decent ? “

Me : “ sure “

She walked in and stood by the door “ are you

catching up on school work ok ? “

Me : “ yaaa I’m getting there “

Her : “ mmmm” she came and set next to me

Me : “ I’m fine Pam stop stressing ok “ I held
her hand

Her : “ you the only family I got Trey and go

ahead and bite me if I worry too much “

She nudged me and I side smiled

me : “ remember when I told you about my

aunt having a hand in the killing of our
biological parents “

Pam : “ ya… I do but Trey don’t you think if we

had an aunt out there she would have
attempted to find us “
You see why I hate telling her stuff she always
think she knows more than I do

Me : “our parents were killed Pam … gun

down … you showed me the pics remember …
you still believe it was an accident ? “

I sigh

Me :look I just have this bad feeling that this

women will not stop till she has our blood she
is evil and she hates us Pam “

Pam :you overreacting now … Hating us is not

your problem we don’t know her to even care
what she thinks “
Me : “ Pam im serious “

Pam : besides I hate you also for keeping things

from me and carrying all this burden on your
shoulder people shall share Trey “

I chortled I placed my head on my forehead yoo

my sister can be dom at time

Me :” you know what forget I said anything

get out I need to sleep “

Pam :ok… sorry ( she breath out loud ) but it

shows that your aunt has a problem for sure if
you have this undefined feeling towards her. I
would say You should ask her directly if you
knew her maybe place your issues on the table
but in your case it like this so It is very likely
that she might have unsolved inner issues with
us being alive and she might be needing some
help mental help infect “

Me : “ pam ! “ she was annoying me to the core

now She just laughed really I’m trying to be
frank with her and she acts like jack

Her : “so what you trying to say is that the

women killed our parents and now she
terrorising us with witchcraft what next she
will sent a hit man ? she better come prepared
cause I’m ready to pop a cap any time “
Me : “ get out NOW ! I CAN DO THIS WITH YOU
WHEN YOU HIGH LIKE THIS !! “

she chuckled

Pam : Just let her be Trey you now sometime

people undermine the underdog what I have
notice in you is that you have grown up you
fearless ready to be in control yes I have
fears about your well being since you coastally
get sick and strange things happened to you
but this woman is playing with fire she might
have worn the first round but right now we are
taking her down and claiming what’s ours “

I looked at her and shook my head

Her : “ my responsibility is your happiness …. I
feel like there lot of skeleton with our
descended family and it scare me like crazy “

She said that standing up

Me ::” you have no idea how I feel since I have

seen glimpse of it “

Her : “ yoo .. any way goodnight “ she blow me

a kiss

Me : “ night sis “

“ don’t forget to take your meds “ she

screamed from the other room I took my
meds and I dozed off I was woken up by Pam
roughly shaking me

I shoot my eyes open I was drenched in sweat

and breathing heavily Pam had a worried look

Her : “ it only a dream “ she kept on reaping

those words brushing my back

Me : “ something is wrong I can feel it …

something big is coming our way … “

.
Chapter 21

Pam : “ooh my God Trey you trembling “

I could not stop my body from shaking I was

terrified I knew this day will come fuck my gut
feeling told me even the dream I had right
now just revealed that my life is in danger I
wiped my face with my hand

Me : “ it's just a dream Pam go back to bed ”

Pam : “ is it written idiot on my forehead???”

Me : “ Pam not now please “

Somdala voice kept playing in my head

~~~~they will use my spirit to torment you
they want your blood the evil dragon needs a
royal blood to remain powerful you are his
source of her ultimate power my spirit is trap
underground I can not help you fight her …call
upon the divine power in you …
aahhhhhhhhhhhh its starting im sorry Mvelo i
will fix this hang in there my son ~~~~‘

he said in agony as I saw his spirit being

dragged in to dark muddy dark hole by what
looked like an evil serpent.
Pam held my arm and i flinched in terror

Her : what’s wrong ? tell me what’s going on …

tell me what did you see … was it a vision ?
dream ? “ she said softly pleading with me I
looked at her and I sensed distress in her

this is bigger than me how am going to get

myself out of this pit

Pam :” just trust me for once and tell me about

your dream “
I stood up and winced in pain since my feet
were still sore but I tried not to show Pam
walked out and made my way to the kitchen
with Pam on my tale she is clearly not going
to let this go I poured myself a glass of water
as I was about to drink it the water turned into
blood causing me to drop the glass in the
process.

Pam : “ oooh my God Trey “

I held my chest I felt a panic attack creeping in I

shook my head saying no ...not now ... not with
Pam by my side I pointed at the floor the
blood that was oozing on the floor turned back
into water

Me : “ did you see that “

Pam : “ Trey you're scaring me now what’s

wrong ? what’s going see what ? “

She pulled me to seat on the couch my ears

started hearing a ringing sound I held my legs
close to my chest and just rocked my self the
ringing got louder and louder

“ pam I need pain killers please get my

medication”

She dropped the mop and rushed to my

bedroom coming back with pain block

Her : “ here you go ... hay what’s wrong? “

Me : “ just headache “ I said faintly I avoided

looking at her because I know she was on a
panic mode now she stood up got me glass of
water I gulp down the pills down it with water I
held my ears to stop myself from hearing the
ringing and whispering sound it was pure
toucher Headaches in general suck But
migraines is a nightmare I clench my jaws as I
felt a sharp pain inside my head … mother
fucker I can feel the pounding in my temples or
is it in my eyes my eye got very watery and
my temple throbs so much that I let out a soft
cry the top of my skull feels like it's being
pressed down on squashing my brains out I
avoid looking directly at light because my vision
was becoming blurry now. Thankfully I do not
feel nauseous this time around but this feels
like I’m having a stroke or some kind of brain
failure because my vision went out on my right
eye. Pam set next to me and cradled me in her
arms

Her : “ shuuu I go you “ I could not help but cry

the pain I was feeling was so intense dearth
must be easy than this I held on to Pam pj top
for my dear life the whispering became too
much that I wanted to shout Go away! leave
me alone ! I don’t know when I doze off but I
was woken up suddenly feeling chills down my
spine I set there without moving a muscle or
opening up my eyes just listening to my
heartbeat that was beating on my trout After
a while I thought it had all passed and breath
out loud and attempted to go back to sleep but
I never felt 'safe' by myself when i'm feeling like
this Pam was not by my sight and I was
freaking out now The first thing that scared
the shit out of me was a feeling of someone or
something breathing… heavy breathing right
next to my ear I got under the covers I said a
short prayer and I was disturbed by a
sound ...knocking sound I heard something tap
three times on my window

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 I didn't think much of it as I figured it was just
a tree or something. A few minutes later it
happened again tap tap...my heart almost
stopped or it did I peeked my head over the
covers I looked around but nothing the tapping
continued till I decided to get up and
investigate the window it sounded like it was
coming from the window wasn't even close to
any trees but why a tapping sound ? I couldn't
see any reason for the noise. I wanted to check
if window is closed but the window swung and
open the minute I touched the handle I was
engulfed by mind blowing cold breeze that
changed my body temperature to ice cold I
quickly closed it and slowly went back trying to
forget about it I tried to close my eyes till I felt a
weight on top of me it started breathing heavily
I could feel the warmth of its breath on my face
I tried to open my eyes but it was dark I tried
to scream but my voice was failing me my
body was motionless I could not move I felt
paralyzed I can't breathe Felt a pressure so
strong right beneath my chest. Ooh my God I
can't breathe I felt force sucking the air out of
my air way my body was becoming numb I
could not fight anymore … I just accepted my
fate if this is dearth let it be the whispers
where becoming louder and louder
I felt like something was on top of me watching
me daring me to open my eyes I opened my
eyes and I saw red eyes staring back at me .... i
felt my heart beating out of my mouth

Me : “ aaaaaaaaaaaah ! “
Pam : “ I’m here …. I’m here … Its ok .. its ok “

I was trembling pam’s heart was beating so

fast on my chest she sniffed holding me even
tight close to her

Her : “ it ok .. i'm here “ I could not stop my

body from shaking I instantly felt cold shiver
washing over my body however my body was
sweaty and drenched as if i'm coming down
with fever

Me : “ it was her … she was here … she will not

stop till I’m dead Pam … she will not stop- “
Her : “shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu you will be
ok … I’m here baby ok … no one is going to hurt
you … “

She rocked me and started humming and

singing softly

~~~ I don't know

About tomorrow

I just live from day to day

And I don't borrow from its sunshine

For its skies may turn to grey

And I don't worry about my future

For I know what Jesus said

And today He walks beside me

For He knows what lies ahead

Many things about tomorrow ~~~ I

I just cried silently it was our mother favorite

song she use to sing it me when I was young
when I went through similar episode my life is
just turmoil I was even scared to close my
eyes and sleep I felt uncontrollable fear for the
first time in my life every time when
something like this used to happened when I
was a kid I was a little scared but this made me
feel completely vulnerable and unable to
defend myself.

Pam :I made you chicken soup “

I was in bed and it's been two day feeling like

this ...nightmares waking up with Scratches
on your face hands and body sleepwalking …
mental disorder depression anxiety attacks
panic attacks it's been days since I had
peaceful sleep everytime I close my eyes the
devil is right there ready to fuck me over
today was even worse because I lost my
hearing on one of my ear and it was bleeding
I refuse to go to the hospital or seek medical
assistance since they will rule out all cause of
illnesses it was Saturday and I was writing my
1st paper 'English paper' on Tuesday just two
days from now and my body was failing me
dismal. I wiped a tear that escaped my eyes and
looked away

She set next to me “ how you feeling now ?“

I did not respond my lips were dry and my skin

was pale I could not stomach any thing I feel
cold and hot at same time my feet are
swollen.. my gums are bleeding …what do you
think I feel ?

She sigh and stood up

Her : “ I asked Sbu to stay with you while I’m at

work

Me: …

Her : I hope you don’t mind “

Me : …
Her : “ talk to me Trey … “

me : “ I just need to rest a bit Pam “

she sniffed and walked out

Ndoni voice : “ when you feel like you can not

fight any more call upon me I will fight your
battles you never alone my child “

me : “ thonga lami lasemanzini ngihawukele …

“ that was the last words I said involuntary
Chapter 22

Meanwhile at Nomakhwezi house :

Khwezi ***

Growing up I hated that all girls in the kingdom

were raised to be submissive to the male
chauvinism pigs is my family.
 we were raised to obey beer children to
expend the blood line stay in the kitchen
never raise voice and never look any man in the
eye. From an age of 12 years my father had
already found the perfect suitor for me who
was going to marry me I hated that my two
brothers were suppose to go to school and
better their lives and to top it up rule the
kingdom you may think I’m evil and bitter and
do not deserve to be alive to tell my tale but all
I ever wanted was to prosper to live my life
and my dream I may be a woman but that does
not make me any less then any man being born
a girl in a male dominated kingdom was just a
curse for me firstly I did not have the blood of
the lion to make me strong and be
apprehensive like my brothers I did not have
any hidden powers that the fallen kings passed
on to the next male figure to be thrown I was
just normal human being and to top it up just a
girl who was forbidden to have a say in
anything.

i was the first born legally the throne was my

birth right but because of my sexuality I was
denied what rightfully mine hate brewed inside
of me that started developing anger and
resentment that I was born a girl The reason
you don't see any women's accomplishments is
because women were intentionally suppressed
into not achieving anything or having their
achievements recognized Women only
experience sexism when man feel
intimidated/deprived. Not to condone sexism
but I’m a hell of a feminine so whatever my
opinion matters .
People only try to push you down when they
see you as a threat. That why my Father
disowned me when I started voicing my opinion
and challenged him he found that very
disrespectful one thing about my father is that
he was an alpha male never gave a shit what
other people think he only did what makes him
happy or improves his life and status which
sometimes made me doubt if he ever loved me
at all I then made a vow to myself that I will
take what’s mine and never allow a man to
push me around or make me feel beneath him.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light

can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only
love can do that.”
I looked around and saw Somdala standing next
to me

Him : “ old man I have no time for you games

crawl back to that hole I buried you in “

Him : “ you can try but you can never put me

down young lady “

I laughed and looked at him

Me : “ once I’m done with you your spirit will

no longer wonder around my compound or any
where else infect I will destroy every Mnguni
Bloodline to keep what’s mine “
Him : “ funny how you fight a losing battle are
so you consumed by hate so much that you in
denial that Mvelo is more powerful than you “

Me : “ I have the blood of lion to kill a lion “

He laughed at me

Him : “ look at you … whatever you throw at

him bounce back tree times more to strike you
back you think that it's just because he has
the blood of the lion.... nci..nci..nci this is bigger
than you Khwezi and you know it … uzidonsela
amanzi ngomsele if you keep on doing this “
I felt rage washing over me my blood heating
up

“ Suka la !!! Mahlasi thatha lenja mani !! “

Mahlasi walked in he always has this

intimidating frown on his face

Mahlasi : “is he disturbing you again ? “

Me : “ why is his spirit roaming around

vele ? !!“

Him : “ his Somdala even dearth and dark

magic can not keep him down his still the
powerful Sangoma that ever lived “
Me : “ NXA … DON'T’ REMIND ME !! “

He shoved his hands in his pocket and looked at

me

Him : “how is your hands ? “

I looked at my hands and I just frowned it was

not getting healed my bandages were soaked in
blood again I had to change my bandage every
hour I can not believe that Mvelo has a divine
power inside him that protect him that when
an evil spirit tries to touch him it will strike back
and I just suffered his wrath as well
Sponsored

and I just suffered his wrath as well whatever

evil forces I throw to him come back to me full
force right now I can not even use my hands
because they are rotting while I’m still alive
no dark magic or herbs can cure them
Me : “ every evil force I use on him bounce back
and strikes his protected by this devin vail he
has on”
I sank down you know the way things are
going wrong in my life right now I feel like all
the evil and killing I have done is catching up on
me I finally met my match and I’m weakening
and failing dismally which makes me wonder if
all of this was worth it or not yes I’m the most
powerful fear women in this region and a
queen but I will never find peace I’m not even
close to being happy.

Him : “ let me help change your bandages “

He set next to me and I just let him be I was

overwhelmed by mixed emotions right now.

Hate anger and jealousy drove me to pursue

and consult with an evil witch selling my soul in
the process I was so hungry for power that I did
not care about the consequences.

To be powerful I had to sacrifice a lot … even

make human sacrifice of royal blood the people
I called my family were my target to have this
undefined power and to be strong enough to
challenge the king my father.

At an age of 18 I was suppose to be handed

over to my betrothed suiter I killed my mother
on that day and ate her heart I thought by
doing that I will have ultimate power not
knowing that once you make blood sacrifice
you will be bound to do it till internally yes i got
what i wanted but was it all worth it ?

I looked at Mahlase he is my right hand man

we started this empire together I married him
so that our evil forces can emerged and have
this indestructible force his one of the powerful
man I know and also high rank ( president ) of
the brotherhood cult I question myself about
the decisions I made if it was all worth it … It
scares me to the core to think about my fate
right now … is Mvelo that powerful to take me
under?

Me : “ can we find a way to remove the divine

veil that is protecting Mvelo? “

Him : “ his highly favoured and he walks around

with warrior angel besides him frankly he was
born with that gift that why it was hard to kill
him when he was born and since he is realising
his power this will only lead to our doom “

he said that with no care in the world it like his

already throwing in the towel

Me : “ I need him dead Mahlasi uyezwa !!!“ we

were disturbed by one of the servants walking
in

“ sorry ma but we lost half of the head of

cattle “he said out of breath he was probably
running
Me : “ INIII! ? “

Servant : “ they… they .. just collapsed and died

I don’t know what’s happening and the rest
of the cattle don’t look like they will survive the
night as well “

Me : “ Get out of here … NOW !!! “ he

scrambled up and ran out

Laughter echoed in the room Somdala

appeared in my in one of the huge mirror
hanging in the wall

“ you will never win this battle “ he said

laughing I took a cup next to me and smashed
the mirror I was frustrated everything was
falling apart . my riches my health … my
kingdom … nooo!!!! .. I felt like I’m losing my
mind … dahm you Mvelo!!!

Writers mini note :

I know how you hate Nomakhwezi but she was

never born evil life turned her this way …

““There is no such thing as a “broken family."

Family is family and is not determined by
marriage certificates divorce papers and
adoption documents. Families are made in the
heart. The only time family becomes null is
when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut
those ties those people are not your family. If
you make those ties those people are your
family. And if you hate those ties those people
will still be your family because whatever you
hate will always be with you.”

Chapters 23
Trey ***

i stood by my bedroom door eavesdrop at Pam

and Sbu convo

Sbu : “ no Pam this …. right here is not a

medical condition “

Pam : “ Sbu you don’t know anything about

Trey health !“
Sbu : “ I don’t need an encyclopaedia to figure
out that your brother has a calling “

Pam : “ pheeesh … that is just vudu trash”

Sbhu : “ you rather see him die than do the

right thing?“

Pam : don’t you dare talk to me like that !! "

Sbu : “ Pam all I’m saying that you need to look

at other option ..this is not a medical condition
“

Pam : I don’t believe in such crap “

Sbu : “ it's NOT YOU WHOS DYING PAM HAVE
YOU SEEN HOW TREY IS ???? “

Pam : “ DAMIT Sbu stop saying that his dying !!

“

Sbu : “this will lead to his early grave if you

don’t do something and something quick “

Pam : “ he's my brother of cause I see I live

with him remember.. !!“

Silence ….

Sbu : “ I’m sorry I really am … I did not mean to

talk to you like that “

He breath out loud

Pam : “ I just don’t know what to do … “

She said in braking voice

Sbu : “ let me help you baby you can not do this

on your own … “

Pam : “ I’m just scared Sbusiso he is the only

family I got “

Silence I guess they done discussing me as if I’m

child why can't they seat down with me and
talk to me I know what's killing me but Pam
is on another level of not looking at other
option I mean I’m also clueless when it comes
to this calling thing but I need to channel it fast.

I walked in the room and found them hugging

with Pam’s face buried in Sbu big arms she
was crying I was dragging my feet which
brought attention to my direction they broke
the hug and looked at me

Pam : “ why you up from your bed you

straining your legs Trey “
Me : “ I just need to go outside this house is
suffocation me “

Sbu : “ good I feel the same as well come let's

take a drive “

Pam looked at sbu

Pam“ Sbu Trey is sick “

Sbu : “ so if his sick we must lock him up on his

bedroom come on love akusiyo impilo leyo “
Wow i love and respect my sister and all but I
never thought they will be a man in her life that
can put her in her place like how Sbu just did
right now I side smile made my way out I
took small steps till I finally got inside the car I
took off my socks to allow my feet breath
they were still swollen as fuck

Sbu : “ Ringa nami bro what’s stressing you

up??“

I guess he notice that I was lost in my own

thought looking outside the window

Me : “ I heard what you said to Pam back in

the house “
He nodded

Me : “ how broad is your knowledge when it

comes to calling and traditional stuff? “

Him : “I’m an African man Trey raised to

understand Zulu culture so I know few things
“

Me : “ how did you know I have it? “

He laughed

Him “ you have this thing about you .. I can not

put it into words don’t get me wrong it's not
because you sick or any thing but your aura
indicate that you were chosen for greeter
things “

Me : “ that what my mom always said … “

Her : “ well she was right … yazi when one is

being called to receive or accept a spiritual gift
by his ancestors to either become a traditional
healer or a spiritual medium it's never joy ride
that happens over night it going to get very
tough before you muster it “

Me : “ yah... “ I nodded

Him : do know why Dr practice medicine for 7

years and still continue to study it even as
qualified Dr ? .. its because a human being was
never designed to be studied there are things in
this life we live that are grater that what we see
with our naked eye there is a world out there
that only people with gift can access it will
not be easy because reality and science makes
us believe that there is no such world “

Me : “ wow “

Him : “ I’m not a pretty face after you see “

He wiggled his eyebrows and I laughed

Me : “ you so crazy … no wonder you friends

with Bongani “
He bust out and laughed

Him : “ so tell me have you heard the ‘ voice ‘

Me : “ what voice? “

Him : “ Mfethu you have a calling I’m sure you

hear voices you are a medium that
communicate through dreams visions

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 and most probably bones soon enough with
those who are no longer part of the physical
sphere “
Me : “bones ? “ I laughed

Him : “ well you still need to go under initiation

process to figure that one out “

Me : “ yooo … this is just … wow “

Him : “ I know .. but you get by stop fearing

what will bring you peace “
Me : “ ya I guess you right “

Him : “ so follow the inner voice bro... and you

will be good “

Me : oooh … aish yaa … sometimes it's not clear

but i will try thanks “

I thought about my childhood when I used to

tell mom about me hearing stuff and the way
she will pray thinking that I was possessed by a
demon or evil spirit of some sort

Sbu : what got you smiling like that “

Sbu was looking at me

Me : “ just thinking about what I went through
growing up my mom just thought I was crazy
when I told her I hear voices in my head

I chuckled shaking my head

Sbu : “ yaa Pam told me what you went through

when you were growing up … but look Joe inner
voices are regarded as a symptom of a mental
illness and not talked about because of fear of
stigma. Hearing voices is still considered by
psychiatry as an auditory hallucination and as a
symptom of conditions such as schizophrenic
disorders manic depression and psychosis but
ke you are half white I could not blame your
mom to fear of the unknown “
Me : “ yaa I’m over it … she did what she had to
do at least the Mental institute sedated me
so all this shit that is happening now I did not
feel it one bit back then “

Him : “ I feel you bro and it messing up with

School now “

Me :”aish don’t even mansion that yazi I don’t

know if I will be able to write my quarterly
exams.. “

Him : “ hay don’t stress about it will cross that

bridge when we get to it “
Me : …

We were both lost in our though and I was

really enjoying the ride I felt a bit free
normal for a change till it hit me

Me : “ hay ...you kept telling Pam that i'm going

to Die … why did you mean by that? “

He sign

Him : “people who denied there calling there

ultimatum is dearth so I fear that with you ..
and this morning you did something strange in
your sleep which scared me like crazy “
I looked at him “ what ? “

Him : “ you stopped breathing… fuck I panicked

and out of blue you were sleepwalking talking
to yourself “

I looked at him and he was not joking because

he was dead serious

Me “ if I stopped breathing that can only mean

than you talking to a ghost right now “

I laughed while he shook his head

Him : “ that was just messed up tell me

something … who’s Ndoni ? “
he parked the car and noticed that we were at
some park I stepped out and the gate was
noted “Botanic Gardens “ wow this place was a
century it was just small heaven on earth I
breath in the air and I felt at home

Him : “ so talk Ndoda … who is she ?.. and why

on earth you stopped breathing ??“

I sigh and looked at him

me : “well Ndoni is my spiritual guide at times I

can see her speak to her ....at other times my
subconscious is all over and will not remember
speaking to her at all on the other hand there
are forces that come to me in my sleep and
suffocate the daylight out of me to point that it
feels so real I wake up gasping for air my
windpipe swollen and sore my airways
blocked … yazi what I go through on day to day
bases freaks me out to point that I believe that
dearth must be easy than what I go through “

Silence … we continued to walk till we find a

bench and set down

Him : “ you know Suffocating in a dream is

associated with your self-doubt therefore you
should inquire yourself what aspects of your
personality needs more space to be able to
breathe. This dream shows some kind of
conflict with yourself usually a conflict between
your inner and outer world. Spiritually speaking
a suffocation dream omens your restrictions. “
I looked at him that was deep

Me : “ what ? …“

He side smiled

Him : “If you suffocate this portends the end or

beginning of an illness but also the possibility
that other people envy you. Feeling like you are
suffocated in a narrow place foretells clarity of
mind ahead. Usually suffocation means
recovery. Seeing other people being suffocated
indicates that you will be able to win over your
enemies. This dream can also mean that one of
your enemies will do something bad to you. “
I sigh

Me : “ has Pam told you about my Aunt ? “

Him : “ Pam is one hard nut to crack one

minute we getting there one minute she push
me away like I have bad breath i'm glad that I
forced my way into her life and because of your
condition she did not fight me we talk a lot
but she hardly touch on the past or future so
mfethu it safe to say I know shit about your
sister “

I shook my head
“ give her time she will come around “

Him :“ that i know she will it will be cold day in

hell if she reject me and refuse to be my wife “

I laughed so hard even started coughing a bit

yep hanging with Sbu was a breath of fresh air
that I needed and he speak a lot of shit but his
heart is genuine and talked a lot of sense ...
when we got home it was a bit late but I did not
mind since I did not experience any glimpse
of my episode today...wonder what's wait me
later on tonight
Chapter 24

come walk with me “

Me : “ where am I “

Him : “ that land of your forefathers “

I looked around it was the same valley I was in

when the lions came to protect me from the
heavy storm and where my biological mother
was injured the beauty of this place is just
breathtaking and peaceful we continued to
walk even though I felt a bit uneasy to be
walking with him I know I carry the spirit of
the great lion my great grandfather Somdala
but this man is just arrogant and so full of
himself the last encounter I had with him he
wanted to kill me so trust me walking with him
is the last thing I need right now

Somdala : “ look son I never intended you no

harm I was under the Spell of Khwezi I was
brainwashed that you died I never thought you
existed “

Me : “ yaa .. why must I trust you now? “

Him : “ because you need me as much as I need
you .. we practically linked together ever heard
of reincarnations ? “

Me : “ not really “

he side smiled funny how I see myself in this

old man his tall structure brown eyes his
smile the way he will squint his eyes when
looking the way he bite his inner cheek when
thinking and his arrogance fuck I take after
him in every way

him : “ Reincarnation is a major tenet of our

people especially the one born with royal blood
is when the soul which is seen as eternal and
part of a spiritual realm returns to the physical
realm in a new body. A soul will complete this
cycle many times learning new things each time
and working through its karma. This cycle of
reincarnation is called the power of the fallen
kings “

me : so in simple terms I’m you and you are me

“

him : “ you catch on really fast “

we continue to walk I saw something that

looked like a waterfall up ahead

Him : “ your calling is a rere and it need you to

be strong your mind is weak and i do not
have time to prepare you for that so you will
have an out of body experience you will feel
like dearth will be an option and feel like you
going crazy “

I listened without disturbing him

Him : “ the curse or gift of lion blood is only

passed on to the Mguni man not just any man
per say but royal man man of the royal blood
who are in line to be rulers it a curse that we
can no cure and we can not handle the beast
is you and you are the beast “

He stopped and looked at me “ are we clear ? “

Me : “ yes “ I nodded trying to digest everything
at once

Him : “ good “

We walked and we were at some cliff water

and the view of the waterfall was majestically

Him : “ your heart is pure so I don’t thing evil

can manipulate you Naomi plays a big part in
your life you were blessed with divine vail to
protect you some will say wazalwa umbhethe
you are blessed in ways that evil will want piece
of you and good will envy you and hate you for
the gift you were given wazalwa ufumbethe
and that the blessing given to you by your
creator no mere human or demon can take that
away from you uyezwa “

I nodded

him :with you faith you able to tame the beast

but channelling the two forces inside of you it
will be hard so you need to spend days
meditating so that two world can be equal and
coexist in you “

Me : “ if not “

He laughed “ you will self destruct …if I’m not

mistaken it something that happening to you
right now... is it ? “
I stopped and looked at him while he folded his
hands on his chest I looked down the water of
the waterfall was so clear and culm

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it had that thing that drowns a person to it I

just wanted to just dive in I found myself
moving close and forward to the edge of the
cliff
Him : “don’t listen to that voice that urge
inside of you telling you to dive in to the
water …one of this days Ndoni will draw you
under the water and you will never come out
because you not ready to merge with her “

Me :“ what ? “

Him : “ this is not just any ordinary waterfall

its where Ndoni reside look closely and you will
see “

I focused on the water I notices her beautiful

snake form swimming and making its way
outside the water

Him : “ look unesipho sasemanzini water is

life and you the giver of life you have power
to heal people with water to have that power
you need to be one with Ndoni she is your
great grandmother uyindiki lakho “

Me : “iNdiki ?... what is Ndiki ? “

Him : “Among the spirits of human beings are

some with distinctive characteristics Rejected
spirits include people who were not buried
properly those who died an unhappy death by
hanging drowning being struck by lightning or
in pregnancy. People who were cursed while
living are also rejected. They will wander
aimlessly haunting such areas as forests rivers
mountains and rocky ravines. They may enter
animals. An indiki is the spirit of a deceased
person a spirit that was never given the
necessary sacrifice of integration with the body
of other spirits. Such spirits wander about in
desperation and become a menace to the local
people taking possession of them and causing
illness. Indiki is therefore a male of female spirit
usually only one who enters a person... in your
case it's your great grandmother Ndoni … she
still feels bitter and angry her death was painful
and she still have hate in her she lives a solitary
life and since you have a gift she will do
anything for you to join her under water … you
need to cleans her first before you and her can
become one her spirit need to be set free and
acknowledge and united with her creator And
ancestors “

I stood there and looked at the beautiful Ndoni

in her snake form basking in the son next to the
water the minute she raised her head and
looked at me Somdala pushed me away from
the edge of the hill causing me to shoot my
eyes open … I was in my room I looked around I
was alone another dream or was it vision it
could be cause it felt so real I checked the time
is was after 04:00 in the morning I doubt that
sleep will come back now

I took my phone from the side table that was

buzzing like crazy I looked at the caller id it
was Zoe
Me : you do know that my sleep is important
since I’m sick and all why you waking me up
so early in the morning “ I must have dozed off
after my dream with Somdala

She giggled

Her : “ hay hubby… and its after 10h00 so wake

up “

Me : “ Aaaaaaah mani Zoei haven’t had

peaceful sleep in days “

Her : “ sorry bubu … again hallo huby “

I sigh
Me : “ hay wify”

I dropped by your house yesterday wanted to

surprise you but Pam told me you went out
with Sbu

Me : “ yaa sorry about that and not returning

your calls “

Her : “ naa don’t be I should have called any

way … I spoke to my Aunt about your condition
and how you may not be able to write your
upcoming exams “
Me : “ ooh “

Her : “ I wanted to run it pass you first but Pam

gave me a go ahead since it was a good idea “

Me : “ Zoe what you on about ? “

Her : “ Me and Menzi wrote a petition to the

HOD and the principal regarding your health
and how it may affect you not writing your
exam’s “

Me : “ what? “

Her : “ just listen phela “

Me :mmmm … “

Her : “ so based on your medical record and

your status right now you will be writing your
exams at the comfort of your own home away
from prying eyes and people who may
discriminate you based on your medical
condition”

Me : “ what……!! “ I set up straight

She giggled

Her : “ hay I told you I got you … so I dropped

the form with Pam to complete izolo and today
she dropped them off so tomorrow its official
the school will send one of the teachers to your
house so you can write your 1st paper “

Wow… I placed my elbows on my knees with

one hand on my phone the other covering my
eyes no one besides my sister has ever did
something so thoughtful for me I was so
overwhelmed with different emotions right
now

Zoe : “ babe are you ok … did you hear me ? “

I nodded as if she can see me but soon realise

that I was doing a stupid act
Me:“ thank you Zoe … but I ..“

She giggled

Her : “hay no buts if the table were turned I

know you would have done the same for me so
don’t mention it it's just perks of staying with
an educator my aunt subjected it and told me
about this process so you owe her a thank you “

I smiled

Her : “ look babe I have to go … Dlamini is

calling now … take care and I will see you after
school so we can study“
I smiled and we said our goodbyes .. you know
Life is not overwhelming The burden comes
from my thoughts and actions And i have the
power to change them

~~~note that you in control of your

subconscious never allow it to destroy you ~~` I
woke up feeling like a brand new person .

I smiled thinking about what Sbu told me and

Zoe good news
Chapter 26

I was bit exhausted after writing my last paper

and all I wanted to do was sleep a bit well Sbu
and pam went out to get meat and some booz
to celebrate my achievement of finishing my
quarterly exams well I was on a good spirits
that I had a good talk with Ms Zwane so
things were looking up for me .. I may not be
there yet .. but I’m getting there .
I realised that have been walking in this dense
bushy field with no sight of light or any one on
sight only my breathing was echoing I heard a
faint voice calling my name

“Mvelo ..... woza mfana wami...... sesiseduzane

“ this placed looked so familiar

I looked around tracking where the voice is

coming from but there was no person on sight
out of sudden I was now perspiring and short of
breath and my feet were swollen and aching I
have been walking the whole night and finally
see the light I was almost there I was anxious
I wanted to run but to my surprise when I
reached the light my feet were not touching
the ground the light was blinding me instead
wait a minute I’m short of breath it feels like
I’m drowning I’m sinking down I open my
eyes wide open I’m underwater i panic but I
drown even more I’m almost out of breath I
feel my body getting numb I shut my eyes I
take my last breath my body was shaking
really badly I heard my sister voice calling me
from are far

Pam “ Trevor... Trevor ...don’t do this to me

please “ she was sobbing and that was enough
to make my eyes shoot open
Pam :”it was dream it was all a dream “ she
squeezed me with a hug

She was sobbing in my shoulder and I was

soaking wet I can not take this any more I think
death will be an easy route for me now I
looked on my side and there seat Zoe with a
worry look

Me : “ makoti “ she smiled at me but I could still

tell that she wanted to cry Pam was holding
my hands and looking at me

Pam : “you ok ?” she said it in a whisper

I nodded

Me :” I just want to take a shower .”

I looked at my t-shirt I was drenched in sweat

The girls left my room once the door closed I

placed my hands on my face God why is this
happening to me and why me I looked at the
floor as if an answer will appear I went to the
bathroom to take a shower turned the tap on
the minute the water came out I lost my breath
it was as if I was drowning again I stumbled and
fell down I held my trout it was like I was
choking a tear escaped my eyes I wanted to
scream for help but my voice could not come
out I overheard a voice from a distance
“ breath mfana wami breath THOLA
LEBHUBESI breath “ I was able to breath slowly
until I was able to breath normally I sat in the
shower floor while the water washed away my
tears.

I fear to say that I have been having a break and

I have not experience something like this in
while I'm fully aware that Ndoni is behind this
the water the dense forest her voice calling
me Somdala did say this was going to
happened if I do not acknowledge her

Somdala : “ she will not stop you need to tame

her “

Me : “I know what’s required from me and I’m

willing to do everything but why is she doing
this to me ? “

Voice : “Mvelo My patient is running very thin

uyafuneka emanzini “

I was catching my breath I could sense Ndoni

presence inside the room but I could not see
her

Her : YOU can never run away from the calling

of becoming igqirha (a sangoma).”

Me : “ I’m not running away … stop drowning

me “

Her : “ you need to begin your training or you

will forever be sick and no Dr can be able to
treat your condition…”

Me : “ Im fully aware of that … “

Her : “ only call upon your ancestors i can

restore your health sifuna ukusebenza Mvelo
sifuna ukugezwa mvelo silambile mvelo
sifuna ukugida mvelo … “
I held my chest trying to suppress and control
my breathing and out of a blue i heard drums
beating the sound gave me a sense of rhythm
I started breathing normally the sensation of
hearing sounds from inside rather than outside
the body was soothing I have discovered that
the ear canal could provide sensory
experiences that reveal the heart and mind of
any spiritual fulfilment I felt my blood flowing
and a sense of relief washed over me

Her : “ do you feel that ?…can you hear that ? “

My body was on cloud nine it was as if I was

high or something everything was moving so
slow and so calmly ever since Sbu told me
that There are two types of voices i might hear
– internal and external he said that Internal
voices sound like they are coming from inside
my mind They might even mimic my own
thinking voice and External voices sound like
they are coming from elsewhere they will often
sound like they originate just out of my view
always just around the corner or right behind
me and I need to learn to differentiate which
spiritual voice calls for me to listen and be able
to understand it it has been hard since the
past week all I was able to hear was thousands
voices at once that drove me crazy it was as if
i'm in a hall full of people and everyone was
shouting and talking all together at once …
channelling my focus was hard since my head is
forever clouded Somdala also told me to stop
and focus when I told Sbu that I can hear with
my Spiritual ear he told me that I have mustard
the skill of ‘ Clairaudience ‘ it was all about
natural talent and practice. There’s nothing
more to it than that. Of course it is essential to
practice in the right way or else suffer
migraines from hell yazi Sbu amazes me on
how he knows so much but every time when I
ask him that question he will always say that :

“ I read a lot bro… you should try it as well and

stop being dumb “

I drag my body out of the bathroom to my

room

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 dressed and found Sbu Zoe and Pam in the
seating room
Pam : “his episodes they come and go at times
he will scare me so much when he becomes like
this “

Sbu : “ have you aver hear what he says on his

sleep “

Pam : its like his talking to someone and they

having conversation that I’m not familiar with
it just does not make sense “
Me : “ Pam it does not have to make sense to
you .. because you do not know what I go
trough … have you ever thought of asking me ..
instead of thinking that i'm a mental case “

They turned and looked at me I stood there

and looked at them I breath out loud in
frustration

Me : “ I just wish you can just stop having this

meeting’s on my behalf I’m the one who's
sick at least you can involve me in this hot talks
you have behind my back “

Pam : “ Trey “
Me : “ no Pam don’t start … listen to me now …
I’m not a child and I know exactly what’s
happening to me “

Zoe tapped the couch space next to her as

singe telling me to seat next to her I made my
way to her and set down

Zoe : “ we all worried about you Trey and I will

be damn if you going to shut us out on what’s
going on with you ”

I looked at Sbu and he nodded that I can talk I

looked at Pam

Me : “The Bible has much to say about spiritual

gifts and their purpose. The Apostle Peter
wrote “As each has received a gift use it to
serve one another as good stewards of God’s
varied grace: whoever speaks as one who
speaks oracles of God; whoever serves as one
who serves by the strength that God
supplies—in order that in everything God may
be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong
glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen” (1
Pet 4:10-11). That means “each has received a
gift” but it’s not for self-gratification or to be
seen by others but “to serve one
another.”Regardless of where you read about
spiritual gifts in the Bible the underlying theme
is that we should always use those gifts to
minister to or edify others. So how is it that we
can recognize our spiritual gifts? How do we
know if we have more than one? “
I breath out loud trying to register the facial
expression around me but I did not find any
answers

Me : “ I have struggled for years … infect my

entire life with being different experiencing
things that are out of the ordinary I was told I
was crazy .. and fuck I believed I was and I’m far
from being normal what I have is somehow
called a taboo to Christians some may say I’m
a devil worshiper or devils serpent because my
spiritual gift may not be holly or recognised to
be pure in eye off all believers “

Pam : “ what you trying to say Trey ? “

Sbu : “ pam just hear him out please “

Me : “ Pam I have a calling not just any
calling … but an ancestral calling … “

Pam : what ?“

Me : “ well while some sangomas embrace

their craft exclusively there are those who have
struck a balance between Christianity and being
a sangoma even though some would say these
are two different religions so im stuck in cross
line between the two my calling is .. “ she cut
me of before I could finish

Pam : “ this is insane … “

There she goes again calling me crazy
undermining me making me feel inferior

Me : “ the more I contradict it the more I kill

myself slowly… because you fail infect you do
it deliberately you just don’t want to listen to
me !!!”

Pam : “we don’t believe in such crap TREVOR!!“

I shook my head and clutched my jaws

Pam : “ mom taught us the power and value of

prayer we believe in the higher power holy
spirit … haleluya! … hello Trey!! do you
remember that?? “
Sbu : Pam yazi I know the world we live in is
heavily influenced by Western culture
accepting the calling to become a sangoma has
become more difficult as certain African
traditions are seen by the Western world to
have negative connotations such as being
thought of as “uncivilised” “un-Christian” and
“linked to witchcraft”. “

Pam : I did not say that Sbu … don’t put words

on my mouth “

Sbu : not in so many words but yeah you were

going there if it's crap in your eyes it's
because you have negative connotations to this
and as a cop you have feeling that what Trey is
talking about may turn out to be corruption
because of the way society perceives the
traditional/ sangoma calling they say its a
scam or rip off due to high costs that people
have to pay to undergo the training or initiation
phase to become sangoma’s or traditional
healers. And the criminal stigma that most
sangoma have this days is of killing people for
body parts to make powerful Muthi … they
make criminal cases disappear… among that
people who consult in Sangomas most of them
practice Horner killing and cult and witchcraft
it's all associated to traditional healing… but no
one have ever thought its a Gift that God gives
to his people even in the bible there were seers
people who have different gifts and calling so
why you choosing satin expect in the bible and
ignore the rest ?? “
Pam : “ DON’T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH “

Sbu : “ if the shoe fits sisi kanti kumele

senzeni ? … you forget that with higher power
there is a thin line of using it the right way for
good reasons or way or using it the bad and evil
way why you shutting Trevor out just because
wena you don’t believe .. you not the one going
through transection between spirit world and
the living ? “

Pam : “ DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU

KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME AND MY
BROTHER!!!” “

Sbu : “ Kanti what must we do to make you

listen vele?? … kumele kuze kuculwe amagugu
leykhaya?? “

All along I was just getting mad and frustrated

they talk over me as if I’m not even here Pam
refuse to listen to reason . Sbu is making the
situation even worse by challenging her there
were going on an on while I was getting very
mad

Zoe : “ fuck this!! hey you two time out !…

jeeeze … just fuck each other for goodness sake
and stop with this bickering shit “

Silence ...we all turned to look at Zoe in shock

we just registered what Zoe just said and after
that we bust out and laughed
Zoe : “ good that more like it … yarrr… “

She stood up

Zoe : “ look Trey I remember when you asked

me if I believe in dreams and if they are some
sort of massage of vision I told you that I
don’t have any clue when it comes to such stuff
but all I know is that we are Africans and
Traditional calling and consulting with our
ancestors is part of who we are we can hide
no run from it we have lost our footing in
being connected with our indigenous religion
and trust me when I say that It’s not going to be
an easy route that you going to take you were
raised the christian way and it's not your beliefs
but it does not necessary mean you don’t have
to embrace you gift just because people
disagree with or don’t understand it “

She sigh and breath out loud

Zoe :“ look mina i hate being a Christian

because of those born again people who are
not genuine and paying your tithes this days
has become a business and way too expensive
Christianity has been corrupted by people to
me its money making scheme with crazy
magical shows where we see people being
made to eat snakes being spray with doom
they touch the t.v screen to receive blessings
it’s a freak show... all social media sights there
people who are going gaga shouting FIRE …
FIRE …for what? For who vele ? ”
We laughed aish mara Zoe

Zoe : “ I’m not saying I’m a believe in Sangoma

or Christianity … I’m atheist but I do respect
what people believe in I just wish people can
learn to stop Judging who’s better than who
and who deserve to go to heaven we human
created and moulded by 1 GOD … we will never
have same beliefs… but we can try and educate
ourselves about other cultures and beliefs
instead of jumping the gun .. Jeeez “

Pam smiled while Sbu facial expression was

on another level of being astonished

Zoe : “ Pam get us wine and Trey I’m listening

talk to us … what can we do to help “
I smiled you see why I call her my best friend
it's because of her free spirit outspoken crazy
self I held her hand and mouth thank you to
her while she gave me her unpretentious
smile … I don’t know what the future hold for
me I’m scared as shit right now … but I know I
got my soldiers who will ride and die with me …

Chapter 27
 Yesterday was epic even though I woke up
with a mother of all hangovers shit trust Zoe
to drink like a fish I was glad that we had the
talk with Pam it took her awhile to see my
point of view but well I’m glad we making
progress.

I made my way to the bathroom did my

hygiene process the minute I walked out I
bumped to Sbu

Him : “hay “

I raised an eyebrow didn’t this one leave

yesterday night?
Me : “ ahh... loo “

Him : “ fuck you man don’t give me the look of

shaim I slept in the couch jeez “

I laughed

me:“ you had no clue what I was thinking about

so ... “

Him : “ hayi suka you like your sister you had

that Judging eye on me “
He pushed me aside and walked in bathroom
leaving me in stitches later on Sbu drove pam
to work and I was left alone to collect my
thoughts I took few fruits and went to seat
outside on the stairways fresh air will do me
good right now I was so lost in thought that I
did not realize that someone was standing in
front of me I raised my eyes and she gave me
a faint smile with a whole lot of shock on her
eyes I told you my look give people that
expression

Me : “you look like you have seen a ghost ?“

Mpume wanted to say something but was

unable to cough it out she attempted to hug
me but stopped half way when she realized
that I was bit cold towards her

her : “ trey why you never told me that you

were seriously sick I just thought it was just flue
or something “

I raised an eyebrow like really how can she be

so dumb right now

me : “ sorry love I was too busy being sick that I

forgot to inform you ...next time ok “

I was a bit sarcastic I hated that she never

came to visit me check up on me I mean I
thought we were friend I mean if the tables
were turned and she was the one on the dying
bed I would have bent over just to be there for
her she was busy swallowing spit and looking
at me with eyes full of pity shit I really do not
need that right now I know I look fucked up
I don’t need judging eyes from people
especially my friends who don’t know what I
have been through

me: “ can you just say something and stop

staring u making me uncomfortable “ she set
down next to me I sensed that she was in
some emotional roller coaster on her own I
felt her silent cries and self doubt she did not
have to say anything because her emotions
were screaming to be heard shit now what ...
I don’t feel like helping her to deal with her
stupidity of allowing a man to be a boss of her
I'm the one who sick and attention from my
friend will do me good right now ... dahm this
calling I sometimes forget that putting other
first comes first than my own emotional self.

She breath out loud

her : “I’m sorry for everything for not being

there for you “

me: “ I did just fine without you I don't even

know why you are here because you boyfriend
said you must not hang out with boys what
was the right word he used ’ its not lady like ‘“
her: “Trevor please don’t start not you also
“she pouted which made me laugh

so hard that I even started coughing i sip water

on my squeeze bottle and looked at her she
wiped a tear on her eyes shame poor thing was
hurt Mpume is such a baby and too soft it
just sad that the guy who’s dating her has took
that to his advantage

her : “ are you ok ?” I did not respond and

looked away

me: “ so how have you been ? “ I asked as

much as she piss me off she still my friend more
as off my baby sister Mpume is just too
childish especially when it comes to her
behavior

her : “ nothing much just school stressing me

out “ she lied I don’t even know why because
she is bed liar and she so transparent

me : “ unamanga mpume what’s really wrong

with you ? “

she breath out loud and looked down she

struggled to find the right words to say this
girl thinks that everyone is against her while we
only trying to help and give her facts about life
since she is so gullible and believes in fairytales
and shit
me: “ in the beginning because this thing has
gone far too long now “

her : “ it's complicated bro and I’m just lost “

her : “ last time I checked you had a voice

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this girl thinks that everyone is against her

while we only trying to help and give her facts
about life since she is so gullible and believes in
fairytales and shit
me: “ in the beginning because this thing has
gone far too long now “

her : “ it's complicated bro and I’m just lost “

her : “ last time I checked you had a voice and

you were not shy to use it what happened to
you ? “ Mpume is one feisty person she can
speak her mind and stand on her self but she
allow people to treat her like a bimbo jeez
why cunt she just grow up vele ? she notice my
facial expression changing and decided to just
placed her head on my shoulder we just seat
there lost in our own thought there was so
much I wanted to say to her but I could tell she
did not come here for lecture

Her : “ yazi A lot of us have ideas about what

love should be what it should look like and how
it should feel. A lot of the time these ideas are
plain wrong ... we can thank romantic comedies
for that( i laughed and she nudged me ) As a
result some of us might not recognize the real
thing when it comes our way. “

Me: “ love is beautiful Mpume when it start

to hurt than you need to let it go .. bounce “

Her : “ but Trey ... it was not like this when we

first started dating he just expect a lot from
me .. “
Me : “ look Love as beautiful as it is can also be
scary and a lot of us keep our guard up until
we’re sure that the person we think we love
will feel a certain way in order to keep us from
getting hurt. As the saying goes before you fall
in love make sure there is someone there to
catch you. “

Her : “ he so controlling .. arrogant ...

dominant ... I lost my voice ... I feel like I try so
hard ... I can't figure you guys out ... man are
complicated ... and i'm just too confused and
tired nje ... “

I laughed shit baby girl got it bad

Her : “ not funny Trey “

Me : “ you just want a relationship so bad that

you fail to see that its not healthy .. that fucker
is using you as trophy ... he uses his age as a
tool to control you .. Mpume i'm not going to
seat back and say fight for this ... or whatever
you have with that Gorilla ... because it's just
toxic ... leave for you and If he fails to love the
real you he don’t love you one bit “

Her : “ aish ya I don’t know ... “

Me : “ you do know you just in denial nje .. The

point is love is a tricky thing. A guy can say he
loves you and not truly mean it and a guy can
love you a lot but not be ready to say it.”
Her : “The trouble with this is that when you
get caught up in trying to figure out if a man
loves you you can no longer be present in the
relationship. Instead of connecting you are
stuck in your own worried thoughts and those
thoughts produce fears and insecurities that
ultimately block you from getting the love you
want. “

We continued to talk about relationship and

love talk one thing I figure out about my girls is
that Mpume is more girly and talk like this is on
her element Sindy is crazy she will talk
about booz parting and fucking guys senselessly
and Zoe well she just crazy but a go getter she
hates topic that have no direction she is focus
and me I’m just a middle man between this
girls .

Mpume cooked for me while we watched tv

and cached up I still avoided telling her about
why I look like shit and the cool part about it
she did not push and asked me as well later on
she left and I was left alone I took nap and was
woken up by Sbu shaking me I checked the
time it was after 19h00 I must have really
passed out

Sbu : “ vuka ntwana I want to talk to you “

I followed him to the seating room pam was

on her Pj looking all ceriouse

Me : “ hay .. why you looking at me like that? “

She smiled faintly “ hey bro how you

feeling ?“

I smiled

Me:“ tops so what’s up why we having this

meeting ? “

Sbu chuckled and looked at me shaking his

head
Sbu : “ remember the talk we had I made an
appointment for you ... so what do you say “

I looked at him trying to register ... and he

nodded

Me :” ooh wow ... “

Him : “ look Trey if you feel like you not ready I

fully understand “

I looked down I know that I can never be

ready but I need this it has to be done I need
answers but am I ready for the real truth ?

Pam : “ look bro I know you scared .. i'm also

scared and i'm willing to support you in any
decision you make ok .. all I want is for you to
be ok... we in this together “

I nodded that was big of her to say that I

breath out loud I was scared really scared I
looked up and just sank on the couch looked
into space

Sbu : “ take all the time you need to think about

it ... any decision you make we will support you
“

Pam stood up and kissed my cheek they walked

out of the room leaving me think about my
choices Sometimes words just demand to be
said but there is so much behind a yes or a no I
forced myself not to just unexpectedly spring
out what my head tells me to say but I wanted
to find the answer within me the answers are
buried deep trying to push their way out as
they sense an opportunity window is closing or
perhaps has passed my heart senses something
that has never been spoken and is deeply
longing to be said but how do I alter a life
changing decision without having any fears I
looked around trying to register this Will I be
reckless enough to let the words come flying
out or will i let another day go by risking it will
never be said at all? But what’s wait for me out
there should I say “ YES SBU IM READY TO
CONSULT WITH SANGOMA OR I SAY NO SBU I
STILL NEED TIME TO THINK ABOUT ITS TOO
SOON “
Chapter 28

Change can come in many forms in our lives. It

might come forcefully like a tidal wave or creep
along incrementally like a glacier. It might come
in the form of devastating tragedy difficult
choices broken relationships or even new
opportunities. But even though change is often
difficult many times it’s also for the best.
Accomplishing anything great in life requires
significant change that pushes us beyond our
comfort zones. Many times the only way to
improve our lives is to force ourselves to
undergo difficult change. Of course dealing with
uninvited change in our lives is often difficult
and painful but mostly scarry . In many cases
instigating major but necessary change in our
life can be just as excruciating . But whatever
change that i'm dealing with right now i need to
have faith that i can cope with this change and
hope that it will have an impact in my future. I
never slept a wink the whole night tossing and
turning till the sun hit my eyes and it was
morning funny thing is I call on Somdala and
Ndoni to give me direction but looks like my
calls fall on deaf ears I sigh and made my out
from my room I made myself coffee and just
looked into space Pam walked in with her
uniform on
Her : “ morning “

Me : “ hi “

She poured herself a cup and looked at me

Her : “ did you sleep well you look drained “

Me : “ I did not sleep at all I just have this fear

of the unknown sisi”

She side smile and looked at me

Her : you not going to be doing this alone

Trey … im here for you … i'm even scared more
than you do infect...but know that The only
impossible journey is the one you never begin.
“

I chuckled trust pam act all grown up but she

right

Me : “ aish pam I don’t know... i'm just scared “

I made my way to the couch and placed my

hands on my face

Her :the Saying "I can't do this on my own is a

real act of courage you already took that step
asking me Sbu and Zoe to help you figure this
this thing out .. your Gift ... your calling you
know asking for help requires humility and
strength of character. Mentally strong people
don't go the journey alone. They surround
themselves with people who can offer
assistance along the way...”

I breath out loud and looked at her

Her : “The greatest mistake you can make in life

is to be continually fearing you will make one it
start now with you ...Don’t expect anyone to
understand your journey especially if they’ve
never walked your path you know your
struggles ... do you”

She kissed my cheek and took her car keys and

walked out after saying goodbye.

I took my phone send a Whatsapp message to

Sbu telling him that I agree... he can come
pick me up he responded telling me that he
will pick me up in few hours time since he is
busy with some few things right now I
decided to brush everything at the back of my
head so i took a barth dressed up made
food watched a bit of t.v got bored and i
found myself thinking about my Decision ' was i
right or wrong? i knew one person who will
lift my spirit up she is forever positive about life
regardless I wish that Zoe did not have to
leave but well her in laws love her like she their
own so this term / easter holidays she will
spend at Langa's house.

dahm i need her right now .

Mpume and Sindy are acting out this days I

guess they can never be any help with what i'm
going through funny how my life just took a
huge change over night

Me : “ hay wife “ I send a whatsapp message to

zoe

Zoe being Zoe decided to video call me instead

her : “ hay boo boo “ she looked like she is in a

car
me : “nkosikazi how are you my love ? “

Langa : “ HAYBOO!!” he said in the

background... oh shoot Langa looked in the
screen and raised his eyebrow

Langa “ this is what you get up to when I’m not

around “ he then looked back on the road
they were all couzy in the car Langa driving
fuck this two look good together you know
what after I deal with this shit in my life I need
to find myself a girl that I can have moment like
this with
me : “wena you are a formal husband in the
night and I’m casual in the day “

We bust out and laughed

Zoe : “you crazy love . so how you doing ? “she

looked hot even though her hair was messed
up and she looked sleepy I wonder what she
was up too for her to look like that

Me: “I’m hanging in there Sbu is taking me to

that traditional hiller today “

I said uncomfortable
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Sbu is taking me to that traditional hiller today

“
I said uncomfortable this thing is still freaking
me out and i'm shit scared of the outcome of
today's events Langa popped his eyes and
nodded I guess Zoe filled him in

me :” Langa since you are Zulu boy what really

happens when you visit a traditional hiller
house ? “ I had to ask him since he grew up in
Zulu Land and believes in culture and all this
customs Zoe told me that Langa paid Lobolo
and damages since she was pregnant and after
that she had a cleansing ceremony at langa's
house since the baby did not make it and they
also introduced her to the ancestors since she
and Langa are Customary Married so I’m
guessing if Langa family is into this kinda things
he know a thing or two

Langa laughed

him “ hayboo why do you think I know ? “

me: “Let see ... ahhhh… you grew up in Zulu

land”
He laughed again

Langa :” well expect to speak to snake and they

will cut you with blade to remove bad blood
ask you to qhuma ...phalaza for days so yaa as
a Zulu man I know “

Zoe dropped her jaw while I look terrified as

shit fuck it's true what they say curiosity killed a
cat Langa laughed so hard that he actually
had tears in his face

me : “what the fuck ???”

Zoe :” baby you can not be for real ?” she said

looking at Langa with pleading eyes worry was
written all over her face

me : “you kidding right ??” my voice was not

even audible fuck what have I gotten myself
into ?

Langa : technically I’m not but depend in the

nature of you illness on what they will do to
you "

Zoe nudged him to stop she notice that I was

shiting my self right now

Zoe : “do not think about backing out not

now boo you need help so place your fears
aside and man up “

fuck easier said than done there is never a good

talk about traditional hillers what was thinking
that I will have walk in park mina shit …

me : “I don’t think I can that just too much

voodoo staff “

Langa :” stop being such a cheese boy and do it

Zoe tell him about your cleansing ceremony “

I looked at him and that alone it gave me 1%

of comfort Zoe told me that it was not too
creepy as we imagined it to be

me:” I know about that she just took a bath in

cow dunk and smelled funny for days that I
can handle “

We laughed again

Langa : “you see it depend “ I laughed yah

Langa is maybe right maybe i'm overthinking
this I breath out loud

me : “you know what Langa thank you….( there

was nock on my door and it could only be Sbu )
guys I need to run have safe trip and call me
when you arrive ok “
Zoe : “ok Trey I’m crossing fingers that all goes
well “

Lang : “yes bro I hope so too take care “

Me :” bye bye “ I dropped my call and attended

to the door

Sbu : “ boy … you ready ? “

Me : “ do I have a choice “

Him : ““Taking a new step uttering a new word

is what people fear most so fuck off lets go
before you start having your seizures “
Me : “ what the fuck ?“

Him : “ I still need to pay Pams lobola to you so

asambe ndonda … “

I shook my head and made my way out … after

goofing around in the car while driving I have
lost all negative thoughts of what await for me
I guess it was Sbu way of moving my mind-set
on what I’m about to embark on and trust me
he succeed because the minute the car stopped
I felt anxiety attacks creeping in I looked at this
4 room house with big rondavel on side of the
yard the house was located in the township
the house was painted in white very clean
infect to clean for my licking but I guess that is
a good sign cleanliness is next to godliness

Sbu : “ we here “

I nodded but did not move a muscle

Him : “ look mfethu Energy is always in

motion — and the good news is that you get to
decide the direction. So which will it be? Do you
let yourself sink slowly into the quicksand of
uncertainty doubt and fear only to guarantee
the self-fulfilling prophecy of your own failure?
Or do you make the leap out of the fog and
onto your upward path eager to embrace the
winding road and learn that at every step your
heart and head will be there to point you in the
direction of your dreams? It’s time you chose
boldness. It’s time you chose to begin. “

I looked at him and side smile he place his hand

on my shoulder squeezing it and giving me
comfort

Me : “ you right A journey of a thousand miles

begins with a single step. Lets go “

Chapter 29
Outside the Traditional healers house

My heart was beating on my trout this was the

longest walk I have ever taken in my life yet i
just walked from the car to the gate not even
10 step I finally made a decision to step
outside my comfort zone the feared of the
unknown was creeped in growing up in posh
white neighborhood raised by white women I
was never taught or saw a need familiarized
myself with African culture it was not
something I found as priority or something I will
need in the future fuck I even struggled to
understand African food and too snobbish to
even try and taste it I don’t want to mansion
speaking and understanding vernac I’m just an
alien nje to think of it so how on earth will I
understand anything that will be said to me by
this Sangoma person fuck

Sbu : “ do you want me go inside with you ?”

I just nodded this was nerve wracking and I’m

sure going need Sbu now I’m clueless with
this staff or so i keep telling myself

??” sanibonani ... kudala nginilindile ... ngcela

singene “ I raised my head up there stood a full
figure women mid age old enough to be my
grandmother she was wearing a white vest with
red and black ‘bhayi ‘ that had a black rooster
print on her head was cover with the same
bhayi and there was another one on her left
shoulder she was not dark no caramel but a
bit in between in complexion her smile was
warm and welcoming which allowed me to
breath out a bit now the scary part is to go
inside this rondavel

Sbu : “ Sawbona ma”

She smiled revealing that twinkle in her eyes

Her : “ Ngcobo unjani ... usaphilla uma? “

They had this small chit chat with Sbu all along I
was doing my breathing exercise and
familiarizing myself with my surroundings

Her : “ Mkhulu ... where is your head ? “

Sbu nudged me and I’m back to reality

Me :” ah.. a? “

She smiled at me “ yooo udlala abantu abadala

wena “ she shook her had walked pass us
escorting us to the consultation room

Sbu : “ you will need to take off your shoes my

man and try and keep cool please fuck you
making me nervures as well .. can you calm don
“

I just popped my eyes at him trust Sbu to be all

cocky in situations like this we followed
MAMA to the rondavel when we were about to
take off our shoes the lady called out from
inside the hut

Mama” Ngcobo please wait outside ... I need to

have a one on one with Mkhulu “

Me : “ who's Mkhulu “

Sbu did a sign with his eyes “you “

I almost fainted and Sbu just shrug his

shoulders

Sbu : “ I will be right outside bro don’t worry “

Trey : “ dud !!“

Sbu : “ stop being a pussy man .. think about

what's in stake here ! ”

He pat my back took off my shoes and walked

in

.
Khwezi ***

Dying must be way to easy than what I’m

feeling right now shit I hate my life it's true
what they say ‘No good deed goes unpunished
‘ I laid on this bed wishing death upon me the
wounds on my hands are rotting since it
developed an infection I can't stomach any
thing excruciating pain in my chest attack me
day and night causing me to cough out blood
and the one thing that drives me insane is that
the cure is within me it my heart that I need to
soften.

Thinking back while I was growing up Anxiety

planted these black seeds of doubt in my mind
making me question everyone and everything.
It made me doubt really good people because
anxiety tells me they aren’t. Anxiety tolled me
“you should wonder if they are lying when they
say love you or care about you ?” Anxiety tolled
me “you’ve done something wrong and you will
never be forgiven ” Anxiety is what made me
question my self-worth not people. Anxiety
made up these scenarios in my head and I have
no choice but to follow the destructive path
that it lead me to .It’s was hard enough
accepting who I am and embracing it when the
world rejects everything about me. Everyone
knows that battle. Everyone has fought it at
some point but me I just took it to another level
I became greedy I wanted it all power
respect I wanted to be feared obeyed … I
have so much blood in my hands that when I
look back I only see cries and sorrow I have
destroyed so many lives for my personal gain
and now this voice inside of me keeps telling
me that my brake brought is to admit my
wrongs and apologize to Mvelo he is the only
person that will lift this curse on me I have
been evil my whole life I could not even
recognised good even if it hit me in the face
right now.

Mahlase : “ it has began Khwezi .. and it can

only get worse from now “

I turned my head and face the other way the

curse that I brought upon this lands was slowly
being reversed Mvelo is slowly accepted his
calling his place in the throne he may not be
aware but his heart Is slowly accepting who he
is and what his meant to be and become and by
doing that he is unleashing an inner power that
is capable to destroy me reverse evil to good
the lion inside him is ready to claim the throne
this land and its people … fuck I am more afraid
of an army of one hundred sheep led by a lion
than an army of one hundred lions led by a
sheep yep the table have turned.

Mahlase : “ I always thought it was a myth that

amongst your blood line they will be chosen
one who carry the power of warrior angels and
ordained with divine veil … WOW he actually
reversed the The long form curse just by
having faith and believing in himself “

Khwezi : “ where did I go wrong ? why is this

happening to me right now ? “ I looked at him
with pleading eyes Mahlase has stood by my
side through it all he never pictured a life
without me even though our path crossed in a
non romantic way but never there less he was
in love with Me from the first time he laid eyes
on me we just connected regardless how
bad hearted and evil I was and stile am he
loved me regardless I knew deep down he
hates me this life i forced him too and wish that
we lived a normal life but with every evil act
there are consequences in my case I had to
sacrificed his unborn children for riches and
power just to prove my worth to the
underworld turned the only man I love to
become a member of a cult all in the name of
love Mahlase stood by side and obeyed my
demands through it all but was it all worth it ?

Mahlase : “ I just never Knew that the long

curse can be reversed which show how much
we undermined Mvelo’s powers … “ he laughed
seating down shaking his head everything was
crumbling down and this man of mine found
this amusing really ?

Back to Mvelo/ Trey

The minute i stepped in I just dropped my

mouth being shocked was an understatement
this room was wow too fuckin clean the floor
was spotless with grass matt placed around the
edges of the room different shades of
sangoma bhayi and traditional cloth pinned on
the wall different shapes of calabash and
candles placed neatly in the corners of the
room traditional drums like your Djembe
medieval drum bongo drums it looked so
different than what he expected and gave this
room some sort of feel it was well decorated
which makes me wonder now... is this women
really a sangoma or just a wana be?

Me : “ wow “ I was in my on world

Her : “ seat please standing in this room is a

signee of disrespect to my ancestors “|

She pointed a grass mat on the centre of room I

nodded and set down she was sitting
opposite me her back facing the the head of
the room i looked above her and there hang a
portrait she was on full sangoma attire she
looked young in the pic there was a Zionist
court hanging on the left hand corner white
and blue in colour with sun emblem
Embroidered on it if it wasn’t for the incense
smelling in here i would definitely mistaken this
room as some ordinary room with African craft
not a consultation room.

her: you looked surprised you did not picture

this room to be like this I see ? “

i just looked down in total embarrassment

her : “ don’t worry about it I get that a lot “

me : “ its just wow … very crafty and clean “

her: you know each and every tradition healer

is different and Traditional Healers/Izangoma
are known to wear or drape themselves with
different coloured amabhayi. What most
people don’t know is that isangoma doesn’t
just choose which ibhayi/amabhayi he or she
will use and wear as this is determined and
defined by the spirits that possess them but I
like to put a little bit of my style and feel in it “

I laughed and nodded “ not what I expected at

all “

Her : “ you know being a sangoma Is not

complicated it people who make it look
barbaric and uncivilized we are only vassals
that are used by our ancestors’ but by having a
calling does not mean you need to look and act
like you live in the stone age “

Me : “ wow … that true “ I smiled I like this lady

she smart and modern I breath out loud in
relief

her: “ finally I got to see that smile on your face

loosen up boy I don’t bite … any way I’m
Makhosi Khumalo “

She than did the unexpected and offered her

hand for hand shake I smiled and shook her
hand
Trey : “ im Trey… ahhh Trevor Michael’s “

Makhumalo : “ you know we sangomas are not

allowed to do hand shakes but old habits die
hard co-operate blood still runs inside of me “

So she is also educated no wonder she speaks

fluent English and act in this manner I’m
impressed we chuckled at least now the
mood was light and I felt a bit at ease she
started yawning and looked at me and in
searching for something in my eyes

Her : “ unemimoya … spirits of the spirits… and

you have had an encounter in many occasions
with you ancestors .. so tell me what are you
doing here ? if you have a cleared
communication system with izithunywa zakho ?
“

Trey : aaaa… “ she shook her head

Her : “ you in denial you afraid to embrace

your calling “

Ok she talking as if she in my head now i look at

her In wow manner

Her : “ why you doubting your abilities you

have the spirit of ingonyama a lion .. brave and
strong feared by most and envied by many …
spirit of the waters .. pure and clean you a giver
of life and purity … abalozi the inner ear that
allows you to communicate with your ancestors
and listen in the most broadest way imaginable
you connected to the souls of the living and off
the spiritual world … you are a seer have an
eagle eye to see the future past and
present … wow son … I should be bowing on
your feet right now and worshiping you right
now while kissing your feet … you way to
powerful for me to even help you … being here
kusigodlo sami right now you have made
abakithi inferior with your presence … “

Her : aybooooooooo! … iyoooh !”

she did the unexpected and growled as if

something was on her trout she kept shaking
her head and moving her shoulder as if there
was something that holding them or weighing
on them

Her : “ aishhhhhhhhhhhh … Khuluma moya !! “

she roared causing me to flinch a bit she took

candles she lit a yellow and white candled
She stood up and took her Zionist court
removed the traditional head scuff and put on a
white head wrap which had a yellow
embroidery cross in the front kneeled down
all along she was harming a tune .. and yawning
in between … making those growling sounds

Her : “ asikhuleke “ she came close to me and

we were now kneeling opposite each other
holding hands
Her : “ I need for us to connect spiritually so
pray with me son and don’t hold anything back
“

Chapter 30

I know I always say that heaven open up when I

talk to God but what happened today just gave
me goosebumps I felt my spirit stepping
outside my body and doing the most magical
thing ever I felt like I’m floating and there was
a sense of holiness taking over me the more I
prayed the more I felt my inner voice coming
out they say that when praying don’t just
open you mouth and say something but allow
you soul to connect with the holy spirit so that
it can take over

Me : Lord I know that Your Word tells me that I

you are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know
I am your child I know that I am saved by your
grace. You are kind good merciful and gracious
and because You are all of those things I know
You are all of those things for me. When I feel
unworthy help me stop looking at and
comparing myself to others but fix my gaze on
You. Through You I will always see my worth
clearly. Thank you for your gracious love
toward… “

Ma’khumalo is just one of those spiritual gifted

she is warrior in prayer she connect with
heaven in a higher level every time when I
step back and try to listen to her pray her grip
will be tight forcing me to focus I started
sweating and feeling all sort of ways shit this
high right here feels so good even sex has
nothing on this the minute we say Amen i
was already breathing abnormally as if I was
running a mile I smiled at her as she smiled
back at me while she took of coat and head
wrap and placed it aside
Her : “ wow that was intense .. you truly have
the divine power in you “

I laughed shaking my head me divine power

women quote playing

Her : “ you just broke the curse that was

implanted in your blood line “

Me : “ what ? … what curse ? “

Her : one of your blood relative has done the

most despicable act of evil that I have never
seen in my life … so much blood and cries wow
that women is a she devil “
Me : “ blood relative … “

She nodded shit the only person I know that

is after blood my bloods infect and will live no
stone unturned to kill me .. is My so cold Aunt
Nomakhwezi ! so she has done worse ?

Her : “ the minute you stepped in here I notice

a chain that bind you to this Long Form curse “

Me : “ what ? “

She had a worry look and looked down

Her : “ well The long form curse is some may

relate it with amanzi amyama and ukuthabulwa
( spirit possessing ) it is what most people think
of or do when they think of cursing a family
member. It takes more time to master it
generally well thought out and planned and
often requires the caster to hunt down
materials to use in the casting. This is the form
of cursing that most commonly involves
Taglocks as well.”

Me : “ Tag locks ? “

Her : “ yes Mkhulu … Tag lock your blood and

your belly button – inkaba yakho eyawa
usemcane was used with dark Muthi to wipe
out your entire generation and blood line
your birth was the beginning of greeter thing or
Doom to your people “
Me : “ I’m confused … “

Her : “ when you were conceived the most

remarkable thing happened your family work
up that morning with pride of lions seating on
the door stoop that shocked everyone because
that was the prophecy that was once told
that one day a boy will be born with power of
the lion .. the divine spirit … seer … healer …
restore of nature and life … and when he is
born they will see by a pride of lion circling the
house his born in “

I looked at her this right here sounds like a

bedtime story she laughed as if she read my
head
Her : “ well everyone thought it was a fairy-tale
since the prophecy was said decades ago by a
witch that cursed your great grandfather giving
him the lion blood .. heart and strength …what
was suppose to destroy him .. you greet gran
father turned it to good use .. he was a
powerful sorcerer that ever lived in those day
and he was indestructible “

I looked at her … I knew exactly that she was

Talking about Somdala
Her : but you grandfather the man who gave
birth to your father .. knew from there after
that Kuzozalwa ingonyama that will posses
spirit of the Somdala his late grate father and
that where things change .. there this women
who has dark eyes heart of snake that hated
the fact that another lion was born who was
going to be even greater than any lion that ever
lived she started plotting ways to use that at
her advantage “

I looked down no one can imagine the pain I

feel right now I’m the cause of everything …

Her : you were designed for greater things even

before you were conceived you were chosen
to rule and connect the two worlds of the living
and spirit world God created you for a
purpose and as much As they wanted to
destroy you you were always protected “

I shook my head this was all too much Can

anyone become a monster? We like to think
that only unusual and horrible people do evil
things But when it done by someone you call
family … it just don’t make sense that your
blood can turn against you I started questioning
my self if Khwezi was born like this or was
circumstances that drove her to being the devil?
Mama Khumalo told me a lot about the spell
that was cursed and how my blood line
perished in the hands of My aunt yes she killed
every one this got me thinking and i suddenly
became worried about being evil I don’t mean
simple run-of-the-mill bad things that we all do
sometimes. The occasional lie speeding or
insulting someone. I mean evil. Causing serious
harm or killing someone. Choosing to harm or
kill an entire group of people just because of
power .. greed and to have the throne
hayboo never thought that evil people existed
but do they really ? While the answer to this
may depend on your religious background and
what I mostly understand “evil” to be scientists
but mina I went through this in the hands of my
aunt i have figured out that people have a
“dark core” to their personality. What’s more of
a General Dark Factor of existents that can tell
the extent of a person’s dark traits which cause
questionable ethical moral and social
behaviour … maybe she was good and she was
forced to this dark life …
Her : “ never get angry my child because by
doing so you unleashing the beast inside of
you … “

I breath out loud and folded my hands on my

chest

Her : “ look at it this way Mkhulu Given the

right circumstances good people can get caught
up in some very bad things. More often than
not psychology is to blame “

Me : “ she killed people ... not only people .. my

family and now she is after me!!“

Her : yes she did and trust me I do not condone

that but all I know and can sense and sow
that your parents gave their lives to save yours
and your sister .. you mother last words before
she died was: ..

~~ it's our destiny … it our fate … hope you

forgive us for the dissension we made to save
you ~~

I shook my head I can only feel my tears

burning my eyes I just wanted to scream like
crazy now

Me : but why ? “

her : “When people say that they have a fate or

destiny they really mean that they have no
control of their own lives and that they are
resigned to a certain path that cannot be
changed. The concept gives control over to God
or whatever supreme being the person
worships

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the tread of destinies of all men No one could

change the design. God has always
predetermined our path and that we are just
tokens in his plan. However other Bible verses
remind us that God may know the plans He has
for us but we do have some control over our
own direction. the bible says
"For I know the plans I have for you” says the
Lord. “They are plans for good and not for
disaster to give you a future and a
hope.Jeremiah 29:11 "

I wiped my tears that were just streaming down

uncontrollably

Her : “ phephis khehla lami I know all of this is

just too much for you … but do not allow pain
and anger tarnish your pure heart … the devil is
always looking for grey areas to creep in as
much as you are guarded by the heavens at the
end of the day you still a mere human being
and an easy target “

I nodded while she brushed my back calming

me down I looked around and sensed
someone or something in this room

Me : “ do you feel that ? “

She nodded … she stood up she lit impepho

took leopard print cloth that was nicely folded
besides and placed it on her shoulder took
ibhayi and wrapped it on her head she
started clapping calling on her clan name
~~~ zindlondlo eynkulu

Makhosi amkhulu

Ngiyakhuleka kunina ..Mashobane

Mzilikazi/Mzilawegazi

Ngonyama …Nyandeni…Khukhuza

Mntungwa

Mbulaz'omnyama

Nina bakaBhej' eseNgome

Nin' enadl'umuntu nimyenga ngendaba

Nin' enadl' izimf'ezimbili ikhambi laphuma

lilinye

Lobengula kaMzilikazi … ~~

She was clapping and growling and chanting …

the room was foggy with smoke of impepho
Surprisingly I did not sneeze one bit …

Her : “ Mvelo Mnguni … The ancestors are

calling you they want your attention” she
explains “kumele uphahle Mvelo uyadingeka
emanzini To answer the calling is to start
training and initiation …this will be done
Ekhaya .. your birth place ugogo wakho
ukulindile she is preparing the caves .. the river
and the land for you .. “ she growl … I was
picking bits and bits of what she is saying shit if
only Sbu was here right now

Her : “ abadala have showed you your birth

place in your dreams they see that you
ready … you will need to channel your powers
first before stepping to the caves “

her voice was husky now even deep like males

voice
Her : your aunt still has a hold over you Greet
grand father spirit since she tempered with his
tomb you will need to realise him because the
curse is linked with your blood and his .. you
need to cleanse yourself first … you need living
water to do that …. haybooo Makhosi … !!“ she
growled

I flinched all along she did not look at me her

head was buried in the smoke and she was
talking to me as if she telling me something
that she can see through the smoke or
something I notice and felt like now we were
definitely not alone and suddenly I knew that
presence that cold breeze calmness and purity

Me : “ Ndoni “ it came out a whisper

Her : “ ugogo uthi unawe you need to go the
waters cleansing you will cleans izidalwa zakho
as well you need to go to the living waters … .
hayboooooo !! “ she used that pushy tail to hit
her shoulders ‘ ishoba ‘

I’m not sure if she in pain or what but out of

blue … I stated hearing Ndoni voice in my ear

Ndoni :” what is it that you don’t understand

child ? “

Me : “ what is living water ?”

Ndoni : “ it where i reside … living water is a

river ocean pond water fall dam … and so
forth I’m life I’m water I’m the universe I
and will lift the curse kusomdala through you
but you will need to cleans me first Mtanami “

Me : “ how ? “

Ndoni : “go to the ocean and stand in the water

while the sun rises. Allow the waves to hit you
as many times as you need to feel freed from
the curse. One you feel my presence I will then
tell you what to do … Makhosi will prepare you
holy water to use bath with it for 4 day the 5th
day go to the sea and do as instructed I will
come to you in your dreams every night to walk
you through your journey “
Me : “ I understand “

Makhumalo “ Thokoza Gogo .. thokoza dlozi …

Ngizomenzela umtwana “

Ndoni : “ Siyabonga Mvelo ngokusamukela

thank you Mnguni .. thank you Mnguni … Bathi

umlobokazi ubeyethe kayikhuni.. Sidika
lolodaba

Phakathwayo!

Wena kaMalandela
Ngokulandel' izinkomo zamadoda

Amazala-nkosi lana!

Mpangazitha!

Bayede Nkosi yezizwe Thola lebhubesi …

badle ubafele … Mnguni “

It was my first time hearing Ndoni praising me

like this she was proud … I smiled to myself
wow I felt this overwhelming feeling inside of
me my body was lighter no anxiety pain
or doubt … nothing …shit I’m happy remind me
on why it took me this long to do this ? I mean
How often do you wake up in the morning with
one idea in mind for what you want to
accomplish only to find yourself doing
something else because of social pressures or
personal anxieties? That has been my life … for
as long as I can remember it's good to have
this feeling that now I’m doing me … and me ..
myself and I … we got this … because those
who mind don’t matter and those who matter
don’t mind … . I looked up and looked at
Makhumalo she looked exhausted at least the
smoke was clearing out now.

for you info :

Tag locks: **for those of you who have never
heard the term a taglock is something that will
connect the person to the spell like hair a
toenail saliva a photo etc.**

Chapter 31
Gogo Nomacawe ( narrated )

Nomacawe looked up and sew a ball of

lightning striking the fields it came in number
with different colours

Her : “ooooh thixo wami”

She smiled with tears on her eyes she knew

this was a sign that Mvelo has connected with
his inner spirit and pursued his calling she
held her face looking at the sky light striking
down and she just cried it was the most
overwhelming feeling ever she felt that one
of the hardest parts about living a life of anxiety
is the way that it always tends to be present in
your life. It doesn't matter what you're doing or
how much you need to focus. That feeling of
anxiety is often there and the knowledge that
you have anxiety and reminders of its presence
are common.

For her it was a breakthrough she has spent

years in isolation hiding in this caves to finally
realize that Mvelo has broke the curse she was
just over joy finally she is free she cried
thinking about what Khwezi has put her
through the past years being forced to isolation
driven by a woman whos hate ran too deep
even the devil himself is lenient compared to
how she is and the way she will kill and touched
people who did not want to obey by her rules
and how ruthless she ruled the land of her
forefathers she cried thinking about her family
friends that never made it that died in Khwezi
hands

she thought about life outside this caves how it

will be she has missed out in so many years
yes her tears were tears of Joy but mostly they
were of pain as much as she was in hiding she
also feels like she was chained because of the
curse Chains are an obvious symbol of
imprisonment she thought to herself In physical
terms they restricted her in every thing she did
hold her down and back and signify her captive
state. While many people may experience
physical chains there are no means or immune
to the impact of spiritual chains which harmed
her spiritual growth .

her : My shackles are broken “ she stood up

shouting for everyone to hear she stopped
when she sow a ball of dark smoke rising to the
skies furious lightning causing wildfires
sweepted the lands

her : “ ow my God “ she held her mouth

her : “ I can not believe this … I never thought I

will see the day rebirth of the land this is a
period in which something becomes popular
again after a long period of time when it was
not popular a period of new life growth or
activity ..” she sank down and just held her
chest in shock

Nomakhwezi ***

Her : “ I’m not leaving my father house !! leave

me alone “ she screamed in furry

Mahlase : “ please take her to the car “ the dark

sky’s indicated that something big was coming
but no one thought that the land will go under
transection to re-birth itself Mvelo is truly a
powerful being that ever lived Mahlase stood
there and looked at the wildfires that were
coming directly to the palace Everyone was
scrambling in all direction the fields were
burning the dark smoke forging everything in it
sight there was no stopping this wild fires
that were approaching the royal house

Him : “ wow ingonyama has finally took his

place in the throne and now the land is it self
and is being re-birth “ he side smiled and shook
his head the transformation gave him chills
and thrill at the same time to witness how
powerful Mvelo is Khwezi was going crazy
screaming and destroying everything in her
sight she did not want to go she believed
that she worked so hard to be in the throne in
the royal seat and running away will be like
giving up she could not believe that what she
spend years in working so hard to build is soon
going to burnt down in ashes

Servent : Baba umama uyala ukuhamba “

Mahlase nodded and made his way back to

bedroom he did not care he will take her
kicking and screaming he believed that What
is ours will come—the people the opportunities
the jobs the passions the hope—that all will
find them when the timing’s right if there are
meant to have it they don’t have to fight it.
they don’t have to rush it. they don’t have to
live in a constant place of stress or anxiousness.
they simply have to let go to make room to
trust. And allow what’s theres to find them.

Him : “ Ndovukazi yami .. we need to go .. the

fires have already burned down the west wing
of the palace we can not stay … we have to go “

Her : “ NO ! … I rather die in this place than run

away this place is my birth right I worked so
hard to get it and can not just run away “

He was really getting annoyed now he hated

that Nomakhezi was selfish as much as he
tried to shower her with love stood by her side
no matter what she still put herself first and
what she want she must have she was never
considerate towards his feelings and what
makes him happy how he wish that she can
just let go there is another life after this as
long as they have each other but she holds so
much resentment toward others it's like she
is bound to t Mvelo or she has a condition of an
emotional link towards her Family that is
stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way
to dissolve that link and get free she started
coughing because of the smoke that was
coming through the ventilator

Her : “ if he thinks that he worn this round he

has something coming he strike me with
lightning .... ME!!! causing wildfires chasing
ME!!! and burning my fathers LAND !!! “ she
was livid and her inner devil wanted to come
out

Sponsored

he strike me with lightning .... ME!!! causing

wildfires chasing ME!!! and burning my fathers
LAND !!! “ she was livid and her inner devil
wanted to come out ready for blood but
her body was to weak
Him : “ Most things are forgotten over time.
Even the war itself the life-and-death struggle
people went through is now like something
from the distant past. We’re so caught up in
our everyday lives that events of the past are
no longer in orbit around our minds. There are
just too many things we have to think about
everyday too many new things we have to learn.
But still no matter how much time passes no
matter what takes place in the interim there
are some things we can never assign to oblivion
memories we can never rub away. They remain
with us forever like a touchstone Today
expect something good to happen to you no
matter what occurred yesterday. Realize the
past no longer holds you captive. It can only
continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let the
past go. A simply abundant world await ...
please allow me to take you of here “
The tears of pain that she was so holding on her
eyes lashed down on her face she still hate
the fact that Mvelo is the rightful owner of the
throne and he will rule this kingdom the way
the prophecy stated she believed that with
her evil deed she can overwrite the prophecy
but no matter how many years or decades may
past if something was never yours to keep it
will never be The truth is life doesn’t always
go according to our plan. she may have had
moments where everything is seemingly
perfect and then it’ll catastrophically fall apart..
she did have her time to rise and became
powerful and then this time the universe
played a role to allow her to fall down. And if it
was meant to be she may rise again.
Him : “ please Sthandwa sami … don't be like
those people who believe that holding on and
hanging in there past is a signs of great strength.
please understand that there are times when it
takes much more than strength to know when
to let go and please do it I love you and I will be
with you through it all but please allow your
heart to let go of this place it has destroyed you
enough “

Mahlase looked in the eyes of the girl he fell in

love with when she was still so innocent and
pure hearted being and when she had dreams
to live this place with him since she refused to
marry a man she was arranged to marry he
looked at her and slowly picked her up
planting a kiss on her forehead as an assurance
that he will never let her go no matter what

Her : “ it was not supposed to end like this …

why … why ! “ she cried looking at the wildfire
running and destroying everything in its path
she cried out loud remembering that this was
her birthplace the only place she called home
as much as she killed everyone to have all this
power she still felt connected to her ancestors
her people … looking at the palace burning
down to ashes she had no one to blame but
herself … she made her ancestors mad what
was she thinking no women will rule the pride
lands and live to tell the tale …

Her : And yet my life started here and stopped

here… one summer long time ago I turned this
place to be mine I killed and destroyed lives
in that house which no longer exists. And in this
decade my hard work just slipped away so fast
puff like smoke in the air “ she started laughing
so loud with tears in her eyes Mahlase just
looked at her and held her hand tight She
looked outside her window the flames eating
everything in sight while the car drove away

Mvelo / Trey – ( not narrated )

.
Makhumalo : how you feeling ? “

Me : “ light as a further I can not believe I had

so much weight on my shoulders for so long “

She smiled and looked at me

Her : “ its only the beginning Mkhulu … I hope

you mental ready on what’s more to come “

I nodded since I felt energised whatever is

coming bring it on I’m more than ready... God
knows i have been through worse

Her : you just have to trust your higher power

the universe yourself and keep moving forward.
You need to know that what is meant to be in
your life will find its way to you or back to you.
Even if that doesn’t happen on your own
timeline “

I looked at her and nodded she gave me the

2lt bottle with water that she prayed upon gave
me instruction on how to use it we made an
appointment to meet on the 5th day so she
may accompany me to the ocean I tried to
offer her Money for her services that what
people do right but she declined

Her : “ I will never take Money from you

Ndlondlo having you in my presence it worth
every penny one day you will thank me for
helping you discover your true potential “
Me : “ that will be long time from now … but
thank you “

She laughed so hard causing me to give her that

look what so funny

Her : “ this time next year you will be A

billionaire living overseas and able to channel
your Gift “ what ? I laughed as well because
now she was talking crazy she walked me out
and shit I was tired like crazy tired and i just
wish I can sleep funny how I walked with
bounce on my step it like I was never in pain
sick or what so ever

Sbu : “ yoooo that took you so long … grand

grand benenzani 4 hrs wonke pho ? “

Makhumalo : “ we were doing what was meant

to be done … now drive safely “

We said our goodbyes and walked to the car

Him : “ you look different “

Me: “ miss me that much that you start seeing

things now“

We laughed while we drove off When crazy

things are happening we might be terrified. It
might feel like our entire worlds are falling
apart. We might cry scream shake our fists at
the sky with anger doubt our faith be angry at
God—but the truth is sometimes what we cling
to the most falls apart so something far better
can come to us. Sometimes prayers aren’t
answered because something more beautiful is
on its way. And bottom line what is meant to
be ours might take a while might drift might be
lost temporarily but if it’s right it will find its
way back to us … I thought about my hole
consultation with Makhosi … so I’m real from
royal blood ? … wow ! me Trevor ...

Chapter 32
Upon arriving at home I was dead tired Pam
was not at home and Sbu had to go fetch her at
work later I made my way too my room took
off my clothes mixed my holy water with my
bath water in the bathtub I soaked myself in
the water it was as if the water was detoxing
me in some ways that felt very relaxed what
felt like life time in the steam room I finally
stepped out and made my way to my room I
changed to my Pj and top and i was off to lala
land for a while I was drifting and finally
realised that I was having Luciddreaming my
mind is awake while my body was very asleep.
Having a dream within a dream is an interesting
feeling for a subconscious or unconscious mind
to relay certain information and it represent
something to most dreams I normally note
what most of my Lucid dream are about within
my dream since at times it could be my inner
mind trying to show me something important I
have learned to make sure that I focus on
details message said to me and familiarise
myself with my surrounding I found myself
walking on the river edge it the same waterfalls
of my birthplace.

?? “ nice for you to join us “

I looked behind me and felt my eyes burning

Me : “ hi “ she smiled at me her curly hair was

being blown by the wind I looked at her and
yep she looks like pam no doubt this is our
biological mother

Another voice:” just because you have your

mother hair they say you cuter than me …who
are they fooling vele ? “ I turned and looked on
my left it was my father he was walking
barefoot wearing white pants and shirt infect
my mother was on a white dress as well with
gold gladiator sandals and thin gold belt he
stood by me and smiled Dahm this niger looks
like me … no scratch that my parents are hot.

Him : “ hi Son “ I smiled wow this was soreal

moment right now please …please! lord don’t
wake me up I have so many questions right
now but suddenly I’m tongue tight I don’t
know where to start

Mom : “ hay this is the happiest day of our life’s

right here you did it you finally broke the
curse Just living is not enough. One must have
sunshine freedom and a little flower the land Is
pure our spirit are free and you my son will rule
this land with pure heart I’m so proud of you …
“

Dad : “ who would have thought that my seed

will be this powerful “
I laughed and shook my head

Mom : “ stop it Leo … “ I looked at him if his

Leo than it means that the white lion that is
always by my side during trying times is him

Dad : don’t look at me like that you expect me

to roar or something or show you my k9’s “

I laughed again

” you definitely are my father .. “ I said cracking

up

him : " off cause i'm your father you hot like me
"
He placed his hand on my shoulder “ thank you
for this setting us free allowing us to roam
free and proudly in our forefathers land ... ( i
smiled ) you know when I found out that your
mother was pregnant with you I prayed and ask
lord to build me a son who will be strong
enough to know he was weak and brave
enough to face himself when he is afraid one
who will be proud and unbending in honest
defeat and humble and gentle in victory …
when looking at you right now I knew god
answered me “

I was an emotional rack

Me : “ I didn't do it alone I had major back up

system “

Mom : “ you did good either way .. im proud of

you my Son you have been the best thing that
has happened in our life's you have been my
spirit when I failed to go on my strength and
my bundle of hope you truly are heaven
–sent honestly I feel like everything in life
happened for reason and you my boy have
been and still are the greatest gift that God has
given me in my life and been the most game
–changer in it as well things that happened to
my life while carrying you yoo … but it was all
necessary because it would have not moulded
you to be who you are today “

I looked down this was just to much fuzzy

feeling happening to me right now I was
happy I mean im in the presence of my
biological parents and there are genuinely
proud of me … me Trey I smiled and wiped a
loose tear from my eye i see a bit of me in my
mom and well I took most of father look I
wish I had his bulk body though shit this man
chest is a brick

Me : “ so what now … is my test finished ? “

My father laughed “ no son it has just has

began ”

I’m confused I mean there are free I sot off

broke the curse why cunt they be free and be
happy and stop involving me in there spiritual
feuds ?
Mom : “ Trey as much as you have a royal blood
in you you still have to know understand
and master the 7 keys of your spiritual calling
not forgetting 7 stages of training to be a
traditional healer “

Me : “ aish ya that hay “ i breath out loud

Dad : “ I would have preferred that you focus

on that alone for now but the land need rain
and you are the only connection to the 4
element of the land and you need to walk in
this lands physically to connect with your
forefathers and restore the fruit of life “

Mom smiled at me “ it's going to be clear you

will see the hard part is over … you have
accepted who you are so well done in
concurring your first step … the rest is one foot
over the other my baby and you will soon get
there . “

I can not believe I was walking with my parents

in this breathtaking landscape call my birth land
I felt on top of the world right now this is one
part of the reason I love having my calling I get
to speak and see my parents there is so much I
wanted to ask but right now I was just being
overjoyed I learned few things about my rets
that they meet in varsity and fell in love
culture and tribalism and also race made it
difficult for them to be in love freely mom is
half Jewish and black ( Xhosa ) and my father is
pure Swati breed mom was commoner not of
royal blood and dad was a prince there
relationship was forbidden from word go as
much there were so in love with each other my
father knew that mom will never be accepted
as his wife and that alone caused conflict when
he decided to marry her regardless and boom
came Pam and my father was disowned and
year down the line came me … that when my
dad was summon to come back home
because of the events that happened when I
was conceived in the royal palace . as I was
listening and looking at At my dad his facial
expression change I felt different sound in
background

Dad : “it's time to wake up now … your sister

wants to speak with you “
No he can not drop this bombshell an me and
decide to leave me hanging … what happened
next? I want to know! … why is his face
changing ? what making him angry now ?

Mom : “ take care of yourself and stay away

from trouble … “

I frowned and looked down i raising my head

and looking up I woke up in my room my eyes
were glued up in eye gunk and shit was it
painful to open them I had this worry look on
my face

Sponsored
I had this worry look on my face I’m not sure
if its because of the dream I had or because of
the events that happened yesterday . shit why
did i have to wake up .
****

I spend most of my morning in bed still trying to

figure out the story behind my family history it
darker than i thought i need to call Makhosi
khumalo later on today and tell her about this
dream i need answers and i'm running out of
patience

i still can not believe that i went to a sangoma

yesterday I was still trying to digest everything
she told me as well Makhumalo is a prophet
( mama uThandazi ) but also used traditional
medicine . The picture of her consultation room
was still in my head it really took me by huge
surprise I loved everything about it very
earthly and modem yazi I even forgot that she
was a sangoma the way she talked and carried
herself was just too classy I looked at 2lt
bottle with holy water that she prayed upon
and told me what was coursing this dreams and
everything else that was terrorizing me . I was
still trying to wrap my head around it .

Today was Saturday morning and was not

looking forward in waking up Pam was day off
she was on her good mood she has been
singing not stop she knock and I told her to go
away she budged in anyway

Pam : “hay! we having breakfast with Sbu

want to join us ? “

I looked at her like you joking right I don’t even

feel like waking up she came inside my room
open the blinds and windows

Me : “what are you doing ? “

Pam : “waking you up “

Me : “dick must be good that you all cheerful
this morning “

In a lightning speed She jumped into my bad

and hit me with a pillow I started laughing

Me : “ok sis I’m sorry” I jumped off ran out the

room

Sbu :” and then ? what up ? “ he stood up

Pam was running after me “ one of this days I

will shoot you “ she shouted at me

Me :” I’m sorry how hayboo drama so early

hi sbu ! “ I walked to the bathroom to do my
hygiene process I came back there were already
seated and eating wow pancake I dug in

Pam : “so did you have any of those dreams

yesterday ? “

I had food on my mouth so I shook my head I

swallowed my food they were looking for
explanation not just a nod or shake of my head

Sbu :” so what went down bro ? “

Its so strange that I get along with a guy whose
intention is to get in my sister pants I laughed
at that taught

Me : “well the holy water will help me sleep

and suppress the dreams so I will be good for a
while “ last night was of those night that I slept
like a baby but there is still a lot to do
thinking about what my mom and dad told me
in the dream

Pam : “what ? so it not going to stop them

completely? “

Me : “well I have a calling Pam and I need to

speak to my ancestors to show me way …guide
me to understand there massage “
Pam : “what ? but that can not be possible we
do not believe in such stuff “

Ooh boy here we go again will this ever stop did

she fall and Bump her head again this
morning ?

Me : “I know that .. but our great great

grandma from our my father's side is mad
and she wants things to be done the right
way “

Pam :” I’m not going to waist money in such

madness “ she drank her tea
Me :” you see that’s the reason why I did not
want tell you about this “ I stood up she was
acting all melodramatic for what God knows
why its my life that is messed up I’m paying
for my parents sins pam stood up also

Pam:” don’t tell me you seriously considering

doing this ? “

She folded her hands and looked at me

Me :” I am Pam “

She clapped once and looked away ” I don’t

believe this you are a snob what do you
know about African stuff you act and talk so
white this is not for you “ she claimed

Me : “ so Il rather be sick and most probably die

because this not for me I’m willing to learn
and understand my roots you have no idea
what I have been through I almost lost my
mind I was even suicidal because I just could
not take it any more .”

Pam : “don’t talk like that Trey you know we

were on this together “

Me : “than allow me to do this you saw how I

was like “

Pam : “but Trey ... there must be other ways “

Me : “no buts I will learn and I will allow
myself to find closure with my parents passing
my dad had a gift but when he married mom he
ignored his calling there death was not an
accident ..... “ aish I was not suppose to say that

Pam : “what ? ? “ her face fell down that really

hit home for her

Me : “ yes let me get closure please ... and let

me find out what happened and let me find out
who I am who we are “

Pam looked defeated she set down Sbu set

next to her and brushed her back I walked to
her and kneeled in front of her
Me : “I’m still trying to make up for everything
and it's so overwhelming I'm shit scared to
shake the tombs of the dead but it’s my calling
my responsibility so don’t worry yourself sis I
can handle this “

She did not say anything but hugged me so

much that I felt our spirit connecting

Pam : “I don’t want to lose you you all I have

left “

Me : “you wont I promise “

Chapter 33

After the heart to heart with my sister I decided

to allow the love birds to have there own heart
to heart I went to my room and made mental
note that I need to call Makhosi Khumalo and
tell her about my dream since she insisted
that I keep her updated with everything out of
the ordinary at all times but now let me call my
wife I wonder what she is up too in the
boondooz she picked up after 3rd ring
Me : “ my wife “

Her : “ babe “ she sounded down

I laughed “ rough night ? “

Her : “ I wish .. no action since two days ago bro

and this man is everywhere else but between
my legs “

I bust out and laughed that was unexpected

Me : “ Zoe Filter sisi please “

Her : “ I’m pissed bro you know we have this
long relationship thing happening with him I
just thought that this holidays it will be me and
him doing the deed every day every where ...
nxa “

Me : “ dud you in your in- laws house aint you

supposed to be cleaning and cooking and all
that shenanigans that young traditional wife’s
do? “

Her : hayboo do not say that I’m no equipped

to being those domesticated wife so i try to
avoid my mother in law who spend 99 % of her
time in the kitchen habeee ... tell me why did I
agree to marry this Zulu boy?? He is already
depriving me sex ... good lord I need a drink
right now “
I was in stitches truest Zoe to just go full
ballistic crazy mode in one go

Me : “ because you love him that why ... “

Her : “ ya that I do ... enough about my dry

pussy so wena how you holding up ? how was
the Sangoma visitation thing “

Me : Dry Pussy !!...what the fuck is wrong with

you ? “

We bust out and laughed

Her : shut up ! “
After laughing I decided to dish out every thing
to her even the nitty gritty of my dream she
was way to quiet by the time I finished

Me: “ are you still there ? “

...

Me : “ ZOE !! “

Her : “ so shit just got real now bro ? “

It that all she going to say this girl really ?

Me : “ to reale infect ... shocking right ? “

Her : “ how do you feel about all of this .. ?i

mean this is just became a game changer in
your life? “

Me : “ I have always knew that I’m different it

was a matter of time before I figure everything
out I just did not know that I will be
traditional healer / spiritual healer / king to
be .”

Her : “ aish yaa ne that just major bro ..now you

got me worried “

Me : “ look before I had my inner ear and being

sear I have always had an insatiable curiosity
run my mind on multiple tracks at the same
time I tend to be very observant and I At
times I have asked embarrassing questions or
rudely pointed out truths at the wrong time. I
have always had an ability to refine and
improve others' innovations. I feel way too
uncomfortable with a wide range of emotions. I
can see many sides to nearly any issue. Honesty
integrity and ethics are important to me I can
help others understand themselves better just
by looking at them and observing. I am a seeker
and champion of ultimate truths. My nervous
system is easily aroused and I am able to
discern the slightest changes in my
environment ..aromas shifts in light or detect
irritants.. scratchy.. sweater abnormal heart
beat . I can feel along with and for others... hey
bro the list goes not but I’m not going to dwell
in details on all of that ...all I’m trying to say is
that yaaa Zoe I guess I knew since I sensed it a
while back that I aren’t your normal typical guy
“

Her : “ wow ... “

She sniffed

Me : “ hay ... don’t do that now “

Her : I am sitting here with tears streaming

down my face in recognition of the challenges
you’ve described here I just fear that most
people will act differently towards you you
know what you just describing will attract
negative reactions of others which may lead to
events that may haunt you for years even in
interpersonal relationships and intimacies I
mean Trey you still young and this may play a
huge part in your life … are you still going to
pursue your goals ? career ? .. dreams and all
the things we set to do when we live school? …
“

She sigh she is worried sick I can feel that she

wish she had control over the situation …

Her : “ look … I know I’m rambling right now …

but all I’m trying to say is … My high empathy
and emotional intensity have been something
that is a blessing and a curse to me ... jeez you
know that about me … I just wish … that .. “
I had to cut her off she was stressing and
panicking as much as I know that Zoe is my
number one supporter in in my journey she is
just a highly sensitive person that always wish
to take half of load of the people that she holds
close to her heart

me : ”babe listen it's Far better to teach greater

tolerance for people who may see me different
or weird but have a heart to accept who I am
but It would cost me a huge part of myself to
try and “fix” to “ fit in“ this social interaction
with expectation of greater tolerance from
mere people who call themself normal more
normal just because the normal they see or
understand only benefit to themselves look I’m
not going back to the stone age My mentor
has taught me that I don’t need to live like I’m
in the stone age my calling is part of who I am
and I’m vassal of my ancestors to use to
communicate and heal other but girl that will
not change anything about my personality ...
I’m still going to be Trey your husband and
frankly I don’t give a rat ass of what people will
say “

she laughed

her : “ we in this together njalo “

me : “ I know you got me boo“

her : “ so tell me more about you family so that

I plan to send a letter to Khumbula ekhaya to
track them down “

I bust out and laughed “ what the fuck Zoe ...

girl I’m royalty ... my family will find me ... like
they did Eddie Murphy in ‘ coming to America
‘ the movie “

Her : “ yes Huby ... levels ... king of Zamunda ! “

We chuckled and joked around for another 30

minutes till she was called by her mother in-law

Her : “ by sweaty I need to help this women

make scones “ she hanged up leaving me
with a huge grin on my face I was disturbed by
another in coming call

“Thokoza Ndlondlo “

Me : “ hallo “

Her : “ MKhulu ... this is not a social call if I

address you by Ndlondlo you need to respond
by saying Thokoza Gogo “

Wow I didn’t know ...aish

Me : “ Thokoza Gogo “
Her : “ Makhosi “

Am I supposed to respond now .. and say

what ? .. let me just Zip it and listen to her

Her : “ Mkhulu ... isalukwazi sifikile kumina ..

looks like you need to make space is one of the
corners of your bedroom and make umsamo “

Me : “ Makhosi Khumalo ... I don’t understand ..

what? “

Her : “ oooh thixo I forgot Mkhulu is English ...

how do I say this in a our European language “

I chuckled this women jeez

Her : “ there is space on the side of you chest of
drawer in your room can you see it “

I looked at it and saw my sneakers on that side

“ yes “

Her : “ good clean it up and place a plain

white cloth on the floor “

Me : “ I don’t think we have white cloth in this

house “

Her : “ yooo thixo ... Trevor focus ... Mkhulu “

I cleared my trough “ I’m sorry .. “

Her : “ ok ... look you will need to buy it ... but
for now use one of your plain white T-shirt ...
fold it nicely as if you covering a table you will
need four different shades no make that five
of candles yellow green blue and white
and purple ... stop placing isiwasho on top of
your side table it sign of disrespect .. it holly
water for the love of Christ it need to be place
emsamo “

I looked on my side drawer and looked at the 2

lt bottle with holy water and side smile ... my
mind was slowly registering at what she is
saying right now so I started nodding

Me : “ what is Msamu? “
Her : “ UMSAMO ... it’s a platform a hub
where you ancestors come to it's also known as
a prayer place where you burn incense make
offering to the ancestors ... Umsamo is also a
physical manifestation of the
interconnectedness and special bond that
exists between the living and the dead. So
every time when you go to umsamo wakho you
kneel when you kneel in front of Msamo you
show respect to your ancestors you will place
isiwasho sakho on that place your candles
need to be lit at all time when you consult with
your ancestors or when you are about to use
isiwasho or when you start eating indiki
nendawo lakho ... “

Me : “ hold up ... I’m not following now “

She breath out loud ... “ will get to the Ndiki
and Ndawo later ... but now I need you to clean
that place up can you do that for me Thonga ?
“

Me : “ I understand I will do it ... Ahhh Makhosi

just to have a clear understanding on what you
said on what i need do I need to clean my small
corner place white t-shirt nattily on the floor
place my holy water in my sacred place and buy
mpepho and candles to consult with my
ancestors “

Her : “ Makhosi... Makhosi amakhulu “

Ok she agrees I smiled

Me : “ why color coded candles .. if may ask
why not just white ? “

She laughed softly

Her : “color brings mainly positivity and it is

thought that this color was created as a symbol
of spirituality and sincerity. The spiritual
meaning of this color’s is also positive and
signifies openness and inner peace and sincere
emotions it is also an element of light that
deeply impacts us physically and
psychologically but mostly Spiritually it can lend
distinctive vibrations and focus our intentions
better through the burning of different colored
candles. so to answer your question :
White candles– stands for purity. It's a
balancing candle and can absorb any energy in
the room. On its own it will only balance your
own vibrations. So it mirrors you Destruction
of negative energy peace truth and purity.

Yellow Candles– Owabantu abadala/ idlozi.

Opens increases vibrations for all ancestral
spirits to come through. If seeking a connection
with them always use this candle. Realizing and
manifesting thoughts confidence bringing plans
into action creativity intelligence mental clarity
clairvoyance

Blue and Deep Blue Candles– Represents the

purest of spirits...the Holy Spirit...izithunywa.
This candle must always be included if you seek
to connect to the supreme being that is God.
Meditation Healing Forgiveness Inspiration
Fidelity Happiness and opening lines of
Communication.

Green Candles– Helps lower negative energies

allowing good vibrations from the spirit world
to radiate on you. They say green ensures that
only the spirits with good intentions permeate
your aura. Green also can attract financial
progress and prosperity. Money Fertility Luck
Abundance Health Success “

Me : “ wow … “

Her : “ Makhosi lalela … on every full moon

you will light a purple cuddle this will allow you
to connect with the fallen kinds of you kingdom
since you off royal blood the purple candle is
like a double edged sword...it represents
amakhosi (the royalty) or those with noble
blood in your family. Also it helps you connect
with your higher self or
consciousness...balancing the physical with the
spiritual. “

I set down and all of blue I saw the most

strangest thing it was umsamo with lit
candles impepho burning in a small metal plate
and saw my self kneeling there and chanting
and clapping I was disturbed by her when she
told me she has to go 1st class is adjourned
I didn't even say goodBye or had a chance to
tell her about my dream I was just in a daze and
my body was standing still but I felt like my
thoughts are teleporting everywhere it
somehow made me a bit dizzy that I decided to
just place my head on my pillow.

Chapter 34

I took a long nap or did I just pass out whatever

it was felt good and dahm I need my sleep its
been a while since I slept like a baby and it felt
dahm good I woke up feeling refreshed like a
new person wow I needed that I walked to
the kitchen to get a glass of juice but the house
was getting a little bit two crowded with the
love the bird watching a movie and cuddling in
the sofa I walked pass them and rolled my
eyes inside my head I drank my juice and
looked at them

Me : “Sbu when are u going back to your own

place ? “

Him : “wow his back “

They laughed at me
Me : “like seriously bro you forever here this
days “

Pam :”come on just shut it you spoiling our

vibe “

Me : “yeh whatever love birds listen I’m going

out “

Pam :” ini ? “

Me : “I feel like third wheel so I will go to the

mall to buy few staff”

Pam : “with whose money ?”

Me :” Sbu money obviously you broke “

Sbu : “aish this is extortion I tell you ”

He took out his phone

Beep... beep !

Me : “my man ”

R1500 into my account

Him : “buy yourself a good attitude as well “

I fist bump him and made my way to my room

to change overheard pam say “Sbu this is not
acceptable you forever feeding him money he
will never learn to be independent “

Sbu responded “ but baby he has been through

a lot this past month let him enjoy himself “

pam :“ you right thank you but don’t over

do it ok “

sbu: “ I promise baby besides this will give us

time to spend together “

And she began to giggle ok that was my queue I

had to leave after freshening up and looking
good I called a cab on my way out drive to the
mall was quick since it was not far from my
place I wanted to cut my hair but I kind of dig
this dirty look my hair was not combed and
looked like fro lock and this curlers made me
look super cute.

I was walking to the salon when suddenly this

girl bumped me it was on purpose because her
friends were giggling like hyenas I frown and
looked at her

Girl : “I’m sorry I was not looking where I was

going “ that line does not work with me

She smiled at me which look a little bit to dirty

for my liking I nodded and walked pass her
Girl :” hay “

I looked at her direction she was wearing a

very short tight denim dress I wonder how she
manage to breath under that she had long
red braids that were let loose her eyelashes
were thick and fake and eyebrows drawing I
didn’t say a word I just looked at her I was not
admiring her ooh hell no . but annoyed that she
just stopped me

Girl : “I’m really sorry she walked towards me

I’m Cece by the way “ she smiled at me

Me : “ok “
I continued with my walk some girls are really
desperate she stood there with her mouth
open I guess I’m the first guy to ever turn her
flatting tendencies down I went to the salon
did my thing when I say thing I just washed my
hair and trimmed the loose ends and trimmed
it on the side I told you I dig this look when I
was at the counter about to pay a voice
disturbed my peace

Voice : “small world fancy meeting you here “

I rolled my eyes dam this girl is such an

irritating tick

Girl : “By the way I did not get you name “

I looked at her direction she was with other two
fake bimbos standing next to her this thing
with girls and too much makeup really makes
me sick

Me : “I didn't give it that why “

Girl : “why you so rude ? “she Snapped at me

I smiled not because I was amused because I

was dahm irritated

Me : “why you so desperate for dick action

fuck off !“

I click my tongue and walked out I was hungry

now so I decided to go to steers and to my
surprise I saw a familiar face I placed my
order and walked to their table

Me : “well ...well!! what do we have here ?”

She jumped up and gave me a hug

Me : Yayaya cut the bull it's not like you cared

if I died or lived “

Sindi : “hawu mfethu you going to act like that

now you know I was going trough staff also “

Me: “what ever!!! so you actually dating now ?

“ I looked at Menzi who was lost in Sindy eyes
“ no ways am I sensing love here ? “

Sindy:” come on Trey you're just overreacting

now “

Menzi :” is he now ? “

She blushed and looked away what just

happened

Me : “a month in a sick bed and people are

falling in love yooo I missed out a lot “

Menzi : “aish mani Trevor You making Sindy

uncomfortable now “
I seat down I looked at the two

Me :” how did this happened ? when in fact ? “

Sindy : come on Trey its long story for

another day and you how you feeling? "

I smiled at the two they actually suited for

each other

Me : “I’m alive and kicking thank you for

being there for me “ I looked at Sindy who
wanted to cry I guess she was replaying the
state she saw me in when I was sick

“no need for that now I just want to celebrate

life mfethu it true what they say life is too
short “

I seat with them and we ate our lunch over light

conversation and laughter Menzi is into Sindy
like big time and as much as he has a bad
reputation of being a fuck boy I just hope he
can change for her and I can see what Zoe
meant when she said that Menzi is just down
to earth guy just that he is hanging with a bad
crowd. I was distracted by an SMS that I
received

“ please see me on Monday your ancestors

have showed me something Makhumalo “

Sindy : “hay what’s up? Bad news ?”

She pointed at my phone

Me :” I hope not ” I faked a smile ” anyways

love birds I need to go hopefully will do this
soon “

Menzi : “on one condition you bring your

girlfriend along”

I laughed hugged Sindy and fist bump Manzi

I took a cab home and luckily for me I was
home alone I went to my room and steered at
the sealing trying to figure out what is this
massage from abaphansi I remembered that I
need to buy candle and impepho ... shit I was in
the mall and I forgot completely I guess it felt
good to be normal for a change because I
only did my Hair bought white all star takkies
and t-shirt I took my wallet and phone and
made my way out

“ Trey ... Trevor” I looked behind me and boom

it was Bright

I held my mouth surprise he was on his feet

wearing sum basketball shots and vest with
Jordans good lord this nigar is tall I never
notice that since he was on wheelchair the last
time we hang out “

Me : “ shit what are you doing here? .. you on

your feet ? .. what the fuck ? “
Him : “ well i told you I did not plan to be
handicap for the rest of my life”

I looked at his ride shit it was pimped up Toyota

GT86 boy got style

Me : “ swimming in money i see “

Him : “ just fuckin get in the car .. and stop

dissing me “

Me : “ lucky trust fund baby “

We chuckled and drove to the Musgrave since

he wanted to eat and catch up well I can never
say no to food
This place was buzzing like crazy shit I even
forgot it Easter Saturday today another holiday
where all heathen gather to drink and have a
joll yaa I was preoccupied with my life that
forgot about life outside my calling

Him : “ you look pale what up ? “

Me : “ well bro this calling shit got me by the

balls and lucky for you to see me looking a
little bit better if you saw me few weeks back
you will be singing a different tune bro “

Him : “ that bad “

Me :“you have no idea”

We decided to hang in news cafe and well one

beer or two won't kill right I have to use this
time to live a bit no doubt the shit I have
been through lord knows I need to up a bit
Bright was a very humbled being regardless
that he has made a name for himself with being
a DJ people have been coming to our table and
greeting him taking pics yap his made it who
would have thought.

Him : “ look bro I never actually got the chance

to thank you for what you have done to me and
my family “

I looked up “ naaa don’t mansion it your

mother was one scary women to deal with
almost gave me a car crash fuck was she
demanding and persistence “

We chuckled

Him : “ I wish I had a chance to know her yazi “

Me : “ she looked like you and a bit crazy like

you as well .. “

We chuckled “ so tell me how things at home ?

“

Him :” dad finally made a decent women out of

my Aunt and we expecting a young brother or
sister “ I smiled that's great news I’m just glad
I made a difference in people life with my gift

Him : “ all thanks to you for years we thought

we were bewitched or maybe haunted “

Me : “ yaaa ne “

We talked about a whole lot of stuff until we

were rudely disturbed by some a two girls who
stood in front of our table I looked up and
popped my eyes .. what the fuck?

Me : “ not you again !!... shit are you a parasite

or what ? “ it was the girl from the salon that
bumped into me on purpose
Her : “ well why keep fighting destiny boo “

Bright popped his eyes at me

Me : “ you delusional are you even hearing

yourself right now ? “

Bright was in stitches my phone started

ringing it was Pam Bright stood up telling me
his going to get another round of beers stupid
guy asked this bimbos what they will be
drinking as well

Pam : “ Trey!! where are you I’m worried ? “ I

placed my phone on my ear and no hallo or
whatsoever

Me : “ I’m out what’s Up ? “

Pam “ what you doing there it's late ooh my

God are you ok ? “

Me : “ I’m good Pam just chill please .. hay tell

Sbu to check his phone I sent him a massage “

I knew that hanging with Bright will consume

most of my time so I sent Sbu whatsapp
message to buy me Mpepho white cloth and
candles I know he will not ask no questions

Pam : “ I’m not your massager “

Me : “ by pam “ I dropped the call she need to
get laid and stop cramping my space

Her : “ hi “ what the fuck? this bimbo is seating

opposite me now ?

I rolled my eyes at the back of my head this girl

does not take no for an answer shit ... I tried to
mind my business you know passing time
before I say something that I will regret

Her : “ look my friend and I made a beat that I

will get you in one go so please.. please... play
along “
What .. it this bitch sick in the head ?

Me : “ NO ! “

Her : “ please Trey ... “ she held my hand or

now she Knows my name ?

Me : “ look here .. “ I had this uneasy effect

when I felt her touch the rankling sounds of
chains and shallow sobs there was a dark
shadow next to her and there was another dark
cloud over her that was following her I saw
heartbreak emotional distress dearth
beating prison ... she changed and looked
really bad with bruises and all over her face her
neck was gushing blood I started having this
headache I held my head
Her : “ are you ok “

I looked at her and felt pity sadness her

past is what making her act like this loose with
no morals she believes that by sell herself to
older man she will maintain her social standard
she is one of those slay gold digging whore

And use what between her legs to dig her gold

mine her future is even more disturbing
because she will fall in love she will be in never
ending emotional prison or does she end in
physical prison ..i see dearth betrayal jail ..
silent screams in her eyes this girl is soon to
experience the most traumatizing life ever
Me : “ I’m sorry .. about what happened to you
when you were young ... but this life you living
now will lead you to an early grave please stop
“

She popped her eyes

Me : “ your mother was evil she was not

suppose to sell you to older man and make you
her meal ticket you were young than to fight
her but now you have a choice ... you have a
dark cloud following you.. and your future does
not look too good “

She let go off my hand “ who are you ? .. you

don’t know nothing about me !! “ she let out a
tear she was hurt that I know about her past ...
why is she making her bitchy lifestyle an escape
and why does she have this mask of i don't care
on her face

Me : “ you need help Prayer infect .. seek

cancelling .. you in an ‘Emotional
imprisonment’ you freedom is chained you
refuse to express your feelings and emotions!
You do not believe in happiness you angry but
you will never show it because you believe you
deserve it why do you hide your venerability
why do you take so much emotional abuse and
physical abuse from every man that use you?
In fact there are occasions where you cannot
even express your appreciation and admiration
to others because of the life you grew up to live
This is much worse than physical
imprisonment! .... ohh my God you even have a
child that you struggling to love becouse of
your past “

She did not wait for me to finish but just

started crying and she ran away her friend
came matching to me with Bright

Bright : “ what was that about “ he looked at

the direction that the girl ran too

Me : “ who is she … what her name .. I think

something bad is going to happened to … her
life is surrounded with a dark cloud … “ I looked
at her friend searching for answers

Friend “ she is Cici .. Siswati ohh my God .. I

need to go after her .. “

Me : “ wait what's her last name … “ she just

ran off as well

Bright : “ hay are you good man ? … what was

that all about “

Me : “ I think that girl is suffering from an

emotional imprisonment “

Him : “ what ? … “

Me : “ when I touched her I felt the most

disturbing feeling ever Because of trauma
shock hurt or abuse she decided to sentence
herself harshly in own physiological mind . her
thoughts are in solitary confinement guarding
her inner most emotional secrets with a level of
zeal and shame which is so extraordinary for a
human being .”

I shook my head in disbelief

Me : that girl suffered from abandonment

rejection or from humiliation bullying or
molestation that happened at a very tender age
of her life she started to involve a vow of
silence and secrecy to herself – and determine
to take it to the grave. She is actually barring
deeper into the shame humiliation and
rejection as if somehow she deserve it “
Him : “dahm bro ... you felt all that in just a
touch ??”

I sigh I knew that I need an early night now

maybe I will have a vision of her maybe us
crossing paths was not just a coincidence I
was suppose to help her if only I picked this
up early I would have at least befriend her to
pull her out of the quick send she in ... the girls
past is so dark it surprises me that she still alive
and acting all normal ... at least I Got a name to
work on ... Siswati ..

Chapter 35
She was running on a maze I could hear her
crying but every time when I get close to her
she will take off and run this place looked like
a maze a bit foggy for my liking

Me : “ please stop .. I want to help you “ I kept

calling out

Her :I’m in so much pain … “ she will say her

voice fading .. I was sweating running tired of
chasing her it was a never ending chase every
time I will get close to her and she will run even
further … this time I was able to get to close to
her she was sitting down holding her legs up to
her chest she looked young than when I lost
saw her she looked lost and venerable

Her : “make them stop … they are hurting me ..

please “

Me : “ take my hand let me help you “

Her : “ they hurting … me please … make them

stop “ she took off again and ran away leaving
me standing there calling out her name
Me : “ Siswati … STOP … PLEASE STOP !!…I just
want to help you “ I was about to run after her
but my legs got stuck it was as if I was glued on
the ground .. I panicked because I could see a
cloud off dark shadow approaching and making
it way to her

Me : “ I need to help her .. please dear lord set

me free “ I saw a shadow approaching her it
held her hands roughly and dragged her to a
dark passage I could not see her now I only
heard her crying begging for the person to
stop she was in pain it was as if someone is
beating her up or doing the worse she was
hurting I felt her pain the tears she cried I
felt her emotional distress … but why I my stuck
in one place why am I unable to run after her …
lord please I need to rescuer her … I shoot my
eyes open It was a dream but it felt so real I
looked at my wrist there were bruised with
dark marks I laid on my bed trying to
register this dream I had what did it mean ? I
tossed and turned the whole night hoping that
maybe I will have an insight on this girl I
bumped into yesterday? What’s her real story ?
I mean I was meant to help her but why are my
ancestors showing her pain but I am unable to
help her ? it was no coincidence that we
bumped to each other yesterday it was destiny
but how am I supposed to break her out of the
emotional prison if she continuously run
away … I took my phone from the side drawer
and dialled number it ranged several times till
she finally said Hello in a sleepy voice

Me : “ Thokoza Gogo “
Her : “ Ndlondlo ey’nkulu … “ I had lot of
shuffling on the background I guess she was
sitting up straight I looked at the time shit if
was after 03:00 in the morning was this an
appropriate time to be calling her ? I just
disturbed her from her beautiful slumber oh
well I can not sleep this dream was troubling
me and the only person who can make it clear
is Makhosi Khumalo my instinct told me call
her and I have learned my lesson to never go
against my gut feeling when its speaking .

Her : “ tell me about it … the dream you had “

You see what I mean she already picked up

that I’m calling regarding a dream I had and i'm
in distress I told her everything from my
encounter with Cici and the dream she kept
on making acknowledgment gestures till I
finished

Me : “ I feel like I'm meant to help her but there

is this dark force that is blocking me.. is she
cursed or something ? “

Her : “ you know Mkhulu When mental illness

hits it can hit hard this is more of psychological
matter this girl is in need of help but the dark
shadow you see close to her its her own
emotional state she is possessed by her state
of mind and what she has been trough The
mind at times can be worse than a physical
prison worry and fear can take us into a dark
state of panic and the world can feel like a very
scary place. If for example we are having a
worrying thought about the future or we are
feeling frightened by the past it is likely we will
envision ourselves experiencing whatever
traumatic event we are thinking about which
causes anxiety and suffering the mind can tend
to block or except traumatic experience we
went trough.

Me : “I see but why did I meet up with her ?. in

my dreams she keeps running away .. why ? “

Her : “ because her mind come up with plenty

of exaggerated and unrealistic ideas that are
unlikely to ever materialise that lead her being
locked in a prison of thought these ideas seem
so real and they tend to cause great suffering.
Negative thoughts can create anxiety and a
whole load of mental pain because we live our
thoughts in the mind as though they are really
happening in reality.… “

Me: “ I still do not understand … I’m a seer her

future looks darker than her past .. I saw it .. I
can prevent it from happening .. I need to help
her … It's part of my calling right ? “ she breath
out loud

Her : “ Mkhulu a calling is a two way street …

lord gave you your gift to help people who
want to be helped .. we are not meant to
change a person destiny and what the future
holds for them … “
Me : “ she might die!! ..( i breath out loud ) look
I understand that you think it may be
psychological matter but I can help her trigger
her thoughts in a more positive way make her
mindful of her thoughts and take notice of
when she enter into the prison of negative
thought. Once she learn how to keep an eye on
her thoughts – (that will definitely take practice)
– she will then have a choice over what to do
when negative thoughts arise .. she just need
guardiancy I need to make her understand that
If God has forgiven your shortcomings and sins
why should she be imprisoned by them? If the
devil keeps showing condemnation in her life
by bringing up her painful sinful past … and
trapping her chaining her emotional prison … “
Her : “ yebo Mkhulu I understand … you said
you wanted your ancestors to show you a way
to help this girl right ? “

Me : “ yes .. and I woke up with this

dream …but it still puzzling and not clear … why
is she running away ? “

i was getting mad now frustrated infect ... why

is she brushing this issue aside i need
solutions here not a person who will be too
quick to judge

Sponsored
 i know that was my biggest mistake from word
go when i first saw Cici if only i looked pass her
looks and saw the real her inside that musk i
would have helped her
Her : “ ok let me clear it out for you … the maze
that she was running from is her head that tells
her she need to run from her past the
shadow follows her and that grabbed her also
hurt her is the man in her life that she has
allowed to torment her “

Me : “ allow ? … what do you mean by that? “

Her : “For many women—even smart women
women who should know better—a "strong
man" is synonymous with one who treats her
badly. If the man doesn't treat her badly she'll
mortify herself often by becoming voracious in
her needs. She'll hate herself and then wonder
why she's unloved Such a woman might even
look for someone who will cause her emotional
pain since she has come to associate pain with
her deepest feelings and most intimate
relationships in extreme cases this can spill
over into the toleration of physical as well as
emotional pain Many women become involved
or even obsessed with the wrong partners –
ones who are emotionally unavailable
unfaithful addicted to substances – or who
cannot love them back .. “
Me : “ what? “

Her : “ she is running away on the dream

because she believe that her refuge is that
abusive man she was made to believe in an
early age that a way to survive and to have all
her heart desires is to be is such relationship
because she will get something in return This
problem has been called co-dependency and it
can be defined as having an underdeveloped
self-esteem dysfunctional boundaries
combined with an inappropriate caring for
others … or in her case she never had a
protector or male figure in her life like brother
or father that she never clearly understood the
way a man should love or treat a women .. to
her its normal it also an escape because now
she comparing who treats her less harshly than
who “

I could not believe my ears this was all to

foreign for me …

Her : In many cases girls are raised to focus on

others and defer their own needs. Too often
they are left with a depleted sense of self and
they look for their partner to validate them.
Keep in mind that emotional intimacy is not
emotional dependency. She has allowed for
dark forces and evil to be part of her you know
when you sin so many times and believed that
God created you to live a life of sin you start
inviting dark forces in your life she open that
door and by you being stuck and unable to
move in the dream its because … its not your
battle to fight now … you can never help a
person who is not willing to be help right
now … for you to see her Future may mean that
your destined to cross paths in the future and
she will be more willing to be helped then…

Me : “ I never saw it that way .. I just believed

that I was meant to help her … “

Her : “ I Know .. trust me you still have a long

way to go to master your spiritual side … when
God gave you the divine power he did not make
a mistake you will help her … but son it will
not be today .. or tomorrow … but you will help
her one day…what you saw was not just for
show .. but it was preparing you for greeter
challenge that you will still need to face when
you cross path with her again in the future “

Wow she speaks lot of sense

Her : So many people today are being

tormented by their past by their failures and
mistakes or by the ways they’ve been
victimized by another person. God want to
realise them from that place of torment but the
key to there prison is in there own hand. They
fail to take time today to spend an intimate
moment with the Lord asking Him to work His
forgiveness in there heart? The Bible says that
I was in prison and you came to visit me … I tell
you the truth whatever you did for one of the
least of these brothers of mine you did for me.”
(Matthew 25:36 40) just think about it “

I sigh and nodded as if she can see me

Makhosi Khumalo sometimes amaze me .. she
is able to feel my spiritual feeling in ways i find
hard to explain yet I thought that maybe this
girl was cursed and need something do with my
ancestral calling but no it was more of my
spiritual calling…

Her : just Live in the present look at everything

like it’s the first time you see them. Use your
critical thinking to make the decisions that will
allow you to release your power. You will start
making crystal clear decisions and doing the
right thing without even noticing. Stop thinking
about how things should be done and start
feeling them. .. Use your mind to create the
vision then have faith and make things happen
through actions. Everything you can imagine
can be achieved. Don’t limit yourself to what
already exist or to what other people do. You
are the architect of your own gift … I’m really
happy that you wanted and was so eager to
help that girl the divine spirit in you speaks
louder that anything and you are using your ear
to listen but now focus on using your mind
and body and soul to tackle situations like this
Rule no 1 . Pray if you don’t understand or find
things a bit cloudy . Start believing.. your
crowded and scared mind will give you the
answers.

Me : “ I understand “
Her : “ always ask yourself this If Jesus were
on earth today would we find Him in the
prisons talking and dining with criminals and
outcasts? Of course we would. He would be
there "to seek and to save the lost!" … but ke
yonke into nesikathi sayo … what you can do
now is pray about it … and trust me you will
find inner peace in it “

Me : “ thank you now I understand … “

Her : “ any way thank you so much for the call

you have gave me a spiritual food for the day
I’m ready to go to church and rejoice now… so
good Morning Mkhulu … and have a lovely
Easter Sunday “
I smiled this woman does not stop to amaze
me

Me : “ good Morning Gogo have a good one

as well “

We said our Goodbyes with me feeling light as

a further I jumped off the bed and kneeled
down and Prayed for the lost soul that she
breakthrough the chains that are binding her.

Me : Lord your Word speaks promises of

healing and restoration and I thank you for the
miracles you still perform today. Today I claim
those promises over a lost soul. I believe in the
healing power of faith and prayer and I ask you
to begin your mighty work in the life of your
lost sheep. Please reach down and surround
her with supernatural peace and strength and
give her the faith to believe that all things are
possible for you. Protect her from Satan's lies
and discouragement and let her miraculous
healing begin. Amen.

Chapter 36
After the call I had with Makhosi Khumalo I
did pray for CiciI I guess there is nothing I can
do for her at this point in time but just pray and
have faith the hardest part is to wait since I do
know that the worst is yet to come to her life
waiting in prayer and preparing myself will be
my daily bread till she finally except that she
need help.

I then took a nap after this Spiritual journey is

too dahm exhausting I must admit I was
woken by a flood of Tax massages from friends
wishing me happy Easter Sunday even people
like Zoe who hardly go to church sent me text
well Zoe Text was just too funny got me
laughing and shaking my head as usual
Zoe : “ morning hubby One Easter Sunday the
priest preached about how the children
understand this day. One child stood up and
said “It is when Jesus Christ woke up after three
days to take a bath.” Happy Easter! LOL ! ...hay
please check on Mpume she sounded a bit
offish .. I love you and take care “ Zoe is
always looking out for other people's well being
even when she not around she just got that
heart of Gold.

so I did like most people do just forwarded

massages and texted them back as well. I still
have not made my Msamo since Sbu told me he
will bring my things today I guess I’m just going
to take a bath with my holy water and mix it
with Bath water again today I always feel like
a new person after my baths i guess it the
power of holy water . After taking a barth I
wore my shots and T-shirt and lazy around the
house

The house was too quiet for change just the

way I like it just me and my thought dancing in
this place Pam and Sbu finally took their
relationship to another level my beloved
sister sent me a text last night telling me that
she’s spending a night at Sbu place which was a
shocker but hey I’m happy for her and it's
about damn time she got her groove back .

I was slowly losing my mind with this Easter

Sunday festivity Cristian’s were going gaga over
Easter holidays I turn the t.v on Jesus on the
cross in all channels radio is playing joyous
celebration this was madness now I regret
being home alone a text message came
through shifting my attention to my phone

Mpume “ hay stranger “

Me : “hallo “

Mpume : “ I really don’t feel like going to

church today but mom is forcing me to“

Me : “ say no .” I rolled my eyes

Mpume : ” I have been saying that since good

Friday so today there are no exceptions “
I laughed at her

Me : “ I thought you were mom mfundisi and

you enjoy this church thing “

Mpume : “ those days are gone I really need

to live a little “ wow what happening with this
girl now ?

Me : “ can not help you with that I got too

much on my plate as well “

Mpume : “ I need to talk to you since Zoe is not

around you will be my pillar “

Me : “ I’m not your rebound friend nxa yadika

call Sindi “

There was knock on the door I stood up to open

the door I dropped my jaw in shock Mpume
was standing there looking like a train rack I
opened for her and she pushed me aside

Me :” what the fuck ? “

Mpume : “told you I’m not going to church “

Me :” but I didn’t think you will be popping in

my door your mom will kill you “

Mpume :” I got to much on my plate to worry

about her right now. Uphi u Pam?”
What happened did she just brush me off ?

Me : “with Sbu “ I said folding my arms

Mpume :” wow finally I thought it will never

happened dahm the guy is patient”

Me : “yap that the kinda love that makes

people want to fall in love “

Mpu: “yes bro I need that kinda love ”

I looked at her “ I thought you had that kind of

love ? “
her :“ I wish “ her phone rang and she just
looked at it

Mpume : “talk of the devil “she tossed her

phone aside

Me :” ubani Thabo? “ I’m getting good at

vernac I even smile at myself when say few
words in vernec

She nodded “ answered the bloody call “

her : “not now too much stuff going on

between us “
Me : “ooh I’m making breakfast and you
going to spill all the beans to me and don’t
leave anything out “

Another call came through I looked at

Mpume

Me :”are you selling drugs this morning ? what

up with all the buzzing “she giggled

Mpu:” it Sindi Shut up! “

Me : “put her on the loudspeaker “

Sindy : “hay girl Zoe said I must check up on

you you good ? “
I looked at Mpume

Me : “I got that massage too “

Sindy :” wow! hay Trey yawl are having a

slumber party and I’m not invited what kind of
friends are you ? “

We laughed

Mpume : “well guys I’m good and Zoe was

drunk yesterday she like acting like the most
responsible one “

Me :” I heard her also bad girl gone worse .. “

We laughed

Sindy :” I miss you guys I’m going to church

and will come after “

Mpume : “going to church? what ?? “

We looked at each other

Sindy : “mom needs Jesus more than I do so

I’m escorting her to church “

We bust out with laughter yah right

Sindy :” love you guys got to go “we said our
goodbye

I looked at mpume come help me la wena

you will be eating also

Mpume : “no Trey I’m your guest”

She turned the Tv on and LION OF JUDA busted

on loud mode I wanted to run away and
this girl is flipping singing along … Jesus please
intervene well I did all the greasy breakfast
alone this bitch did not move a muscle we
talked about lot of things besides the pink
elephant in the room which is her relationship
I feel like she things that I will Judge her if she
tells me that things are no longer smooth
sailing between her and Gorilla man but all I’m
trying to do is just be a good friend I gave her
plate she was focus on some T.D Jakes ministry
that was on show

Me : “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast

under trial for when he has stood the test he
will receive the crown of life which God has
promised to those who love him. “

Her : “ammm what ? “ I looked at her she had

had tears in her eyes and quickly wiped them
and faked a smile

Me : “ i thought you were watching this… aint

you listening to the man “
Her : “ yaaa .. he just say it so easily that if you
going through trials and tribulation .you need
to stand still and trust on the lord “

Me : “ well the bible never lie … so tell me

what's eating you up and why you crying
silently “

She sigh and looked at her food as if it has

answers “ I think Thabo has anger controlling
and obsession issues “

I placed my plate aside and looked at her

Me “ what did he do? … did he hurt you ? “ I

knew it that guy was trouble from the first day I
laid eyes on him he had that aura about him
that did not sit well with me

Her : “ well he did … or he did not … it all just

happened to fast It was a traumatic
experience of my life … I just can not believe
that he .. “

We were disturbed by a nock and a Bubbly

Sindy walked in and looked at us Mpume
looked away stuffing her face with food.

Sindy : “ my people how yawl doing? “

I looked at Mpume who just faked a smile and

greeted Sindy with a enthusiastic voice . after
she hugged us

. shit I was so close to getting to the bottom of

this now Sindy just bounced in here as if she
own the place and the topic is now placed on
pause sindy took my plate without my
consent switched the Tv off and inserted her
Usb stick blustered hip hop music we was just
set there looking at her astonished on what just
happened

Sindy : “ close your mouth Trey fly will get in “

Mpume giggled “ wow Sindy you look super hot

“
Mpume asked shifting away from my eye
contact I guess she will not open up to me not
now infect

Me : “aish sisi you got that glow that scream

‘new man in my life “ I said shifting the
conversation as well Mpume smiled at me

Sindy : “ he is not new I have been screwing

him for the past month we just made our
relationship official because we catch feeling

Mpu : “what ? who ini ?

me :” Sindy is dating Menzi “ I looked at Sindy

and winked at her
Mpu: “you telling me that you able to fuck the
guy without any feelings involved? ” aish
Mpume is so innocent guys its not even funny
now

Sindy nodded “ it's only sex" she said

Me:" and people complicate it with feeling

love and hugging “

Mpume face was priceless right now

Mpu : “so you in love with him ? “

Sindy : “I feel something it must be love I guess

“

Mpu : “but he is a fuck boy”

Sindy and I looked at each other and laughed

me : “His not he is actually a book worm like

Zoe but hanging out with wrong crowd”

Sindy :”that so true its all an act“

Mpu : “no guys that can’t be true “

Sindy : “why is he getting straight A’s at school

then ? “
she set back and took few seconds to think

me :” you see what I mean any way you seem

better now are you ok ? “

Sindy has been acting out this past few weeks

I was so caught up in my own sick issues that I
never took time to find out how she is holding
up the last time I asked she said is family
issues and it's affecting her big time but i'm
glad to see her smiling and having no care in
the world or whats so ever .. thank you Menzi

Sindy : “it work in progress I guess I found a

person I can rely on when I feel my walls closing
in Menzi listen without me saying a word to
him maybe one day i will confide in him about
my life but for now I’m just taking it one day at
a time

Mpu : “he must really love you “ she looked

down I guess that hit home with her because
she is in messed up relationship

me :” he does I saw him the way he looks at

you girl don’t mess this up I know you phela
you always think that good things are not
meant for you “

Sindy : “i don't believe that if you do good good

things will happen. Everything is completely
accidental and random. Sometimes bad things
happen to very good people and sometimes
good things happen to bad people. But at least
if you try to do good things then you're
spending your time doing something
worthwhile. “

Me : “ you're stronger than you think … don’t

allow life define who you are “

Mpu : I don't like the word 'strong' because a

strong character is never an interesting
character. A character is made interesting by
their vulnerabilities and their weaknesses. “

Sindy : “ well said Mpume … That so true “

I nodded Mpume phone started ringing again

aaarg man can she just picked it up we looked
at her while she turned it off and clicked her
tongue

Sindy : and that ?

Me : “Thabo .. what’s the deal “ I folded my

arms we need an explanation now

she breath out loud

Mpu : “he tried to you now ... “

me : “ what ? “ I was getting very impatient

now I have been trying make her talk the whole
morning with no luck
Me : “he wanted to have sex “

Sindy /me : “ini!!!!!”I felt the air leaving my

lungs

Mpu: we had a fight and the next thing I know I

he has pinned me on the table and released
himself “

Sindy clapped once and stood up I just felt my

throat getting dry I did notice that Mpume is
emotionally bruised but never thought that its
this major

Sindy “ he did what?? did he hurt you? “ she

asked softly as if she is whispering her eyes
were red this was Hurting Sindy Mpume was
just playing with her figures not showing any
pain which looked very strange

Mpu : “emotionally I’m hurt broken infect

but he did not force himself on me but he slide
his thing between my thighs close to my… “ she
looked at me what? She is going to act all
embarrassed on my account now I just rolled
my eyes in annoyance she continued to tell us
how he violated her apparently the guy had an
Intercrural sex where the penis is placed
between the receiving partner's thighs and
thrusts to create friction this is commonly done
by guys when there dating a virgin Sindy was
hysterical walking up and down like a
madwoman with her braids let loose she
looked crazy as a mother fucker. I just slouched
on the couch and I placed my hands on mouth I
feared this happening shit that busted i
stood up and seat next to her and hugged her
Mpume was just holding her Tears she was
braking inside but somehow she was hiding her
emotions I felt her breathing changing and
she most probably have a lump on her trout
she was either to ashamed or angry to share a
tear I had to trigger those emotion out of her

Me : Let you tears out let the salt and water

close your wounds and let everything that hurts
and upsets you go away with each drop. Let
your body feel and the feelings flood you so
that you can keep moving forward so that you
can live your life to the fullest. “ she suddenly
just wailed shaking her heard
Her : “ he bruised me he hurt me … I was so..
scared “

it actually broke my heart she has been

holding in for so long Sindy joined the hug she
just cried as if she was letting everything out
which got me thinking that we are constantly
told of the therapeutic value of laughter hiding
sadness over a bubble face but what about
crying? If laughter constitutes one end of the
spectrum of human emotions crying is the
other end. If it is so why do we elevate one and
belittle the other why not accept it just a
natural act on it and just let it all out I was
busy hushing just picturing what she went
trough broke and crushed my heart I’m million
pieces after a while she finally came down
Sindy : “I’m so sorry friend …”

Her : “ its ok .. thank you guys for being here for

me “

Sindy rubbed her back while she wiped her face

she looked like ripe tomato right now the way
she is so red

Sindy: how are you feeling ? did you report him

kodwa? “ I looked at Sindy like jeez girl she just
recovering from disclosing on us and now you
talking justice for all … but on serious note did
she ?
Me : “no but I did a full medical examination
after the saga and I’m clean “

I looked at her with what the hack ..

me :” but he violated you !”

Mpu :” I know but I’m still virgin so

technically he did not hurt me”

Sindy : “you condoning his action ? “

Mpu : “no but he will never hurt me it just

that he was angry and I was just being difficult
I wanted him to treat me like his equal but how
can I ask him that if I’m not even giving him a
cockier “

me : “yoo I see you clearly don’t get it… “

I exchange glances with an angry Sindy

Sindy :” I have sex for fun and I like it but no

body forces me to do anything I don’t like
why you protecting this man what if he rape
you “

Me : “he didn’t so he somehow… he didn’t

want to hurt me “

me: “come on mpume that’s bullshit “

Mpu : “guys why you over reacting it
happened and I’m not hurt let me deal with it
my own way “ I give up she more stupid than I
thought

Sindy : “udlisiwe wena what will happened

next time do you know how weak man are
once they see a girls Virgina they don’t think
with there heard “

I stood up “ I need a drink “ I went to my room

to get my wallet I need to buy something
strong cause we clearly not winning with
Mpume Sindy and Mpume were arguing and
making my head spin they were screaming at
the top of there voice now
Mpu: “listen Sindy I need to deal with this on
my own “

Sindy : “you love him right ? “

Me :” yes “

Sindy :”let him go because your love is blind

next time you won't be too lucky “ yep Sindy
was right Mpume need to cut all contact with
this guy This is less a step and more of a
critically important prerequisite

Mpu : I’m not going to listen to you you don’t

even know what love is you just spread your
legs for fun “
no she did not go there … I better stop this two
before they kill each other when I stepped
out Sindy had that “ wow expression “ on her
face

Sindy : “at least I give them willingly I’m not

forced and fucked from behind “

Me : “you bitch you going to use this against

me how dare you bloody slut “

Mpume was spitting fire now shit how did

this change to a cat fight fuck!

Me“ guys really you going to fight about

this ???”

Sindy : “at least I know how it feels like to be

fucked and I enjoy it and man don’t
emotionally blackmail me I know my worth I’m
not naïve as you you think he fuckin loves you
guess what his after your tight pussy smell the
roses sisi impilo is not about happy endings ”

Mpume just seat down and cried she felt

defeated I guess this was one of the main
reason she never confided in us because of how
we just reacted right now but do you blame
us

Me:" look what you have done Sindy hhayi

mani "
Mpume was crying like someone died Jesus I
need to start hanging with the guys having girls
as friends its just to stressful shit I can even
feel my penis shrinking at this stage

Pam and sbu budged in with worry look on

there face

Mpume just jumped up and ran to the

bathroom … shit now I have to explain this
madness too miss nosey here called my sister

Pam : "what’s going the noise the crying the

insult what going ON !
Chapter 37

Pam : " what's going on here?

me: " not now Pam sindy go fix this mass "

I took my phone from the couch I already

have a headache from hell now shit women
and there tantrums
sindy : she started it why must I fix it?"

me : I'm not asking you! "

she mumble something and made her way to

the bathroom I was getting pissed as hell now
Pam was still astonished that I raised my voice
at Sindy she still had that look on her face that
say ‘ explain yourself ‘and I was not in the
mood in explaining madness

me : " I need a drink Sbu let's go and Pam

please make pap will bring meat"
she folded her arms and looked at me she
was about to say something but Sbu placed
his finger on her mouth he then kissed her
forehead I made my way out while Sbu
followed me to the car.

Him : “ care to explain what the fuck just

happened ? “

Me : “ you know with my gift I can sense and

feel things… bad things that happened or about
to happen to a person … but what I whiteness
today I didn't even get a glimpse of it as in a
vision or sign”
Him : “ now you talking crazy talk.. look…
Abraham Isaac Jacob Moses Elijah Elisha Daniel
Muahmmad Trevor ...what doall this man have
in common ?

me : " what ? "

him : they were all Human and had a gift of

being a prophet or seer in the bible … they had
problem with love sex friends family like any
other Man just like you .. you are gifted to
help people is need this shit that just
happened was just stupid act I don’t think
God or your ancestors will miss use you to
foretell bull shit …just always remember that
behind that gift of yours there a boy who still
need experience life and it glory “

Me : “ yaaa you right bro … "

Him : “ Im always right bro besides .. Humans

know that the future cannot be predicted with
accuracy. And you as seer you need to also be
aware of this fact “

Me : “ shut up smarty pants “

We laughed and he raised an eyebrow and

looked at me “ so what the fuck where the
pigeon fighting about ?“

Now I need to talk about this Mpume story I

was still mad that she hide it from us she was
ashamed and to top it up she is in denial that
what she experience was not a sexual violation
she believes that she pushed the guy to act in
that way … I sometimes don’t get why victims
act like that is it a mental issue or what ?

Me : “ Mfethu I think that Mpume is being

manipulated by this older guy she dating she
slowly losing herself .. and I have no idea on
how to help her she in denial about a whole
lot of things and the too quick to think that we
judging … I don’t get girls bro there are so
quick to trust and love that they end up heart
broken … especially the one who have less
experience when it comes to love and sex “

Him : “ shit … you hang too much with girls that

even right now you speaking like one … “

Me : “ fuck you … “

He laughed

him :" look here before you swallow your balls

and grow a virgina this shit is simple most
girls date older man who are more mature and
who have a high level of self-awareness of who
they are and have an ability to shift there world
in some pretty unique ways. older man are not
necessarily better than a younger guy. It’s just
that being an older man can equate to teaching
about real-life experiences because they have
usually been there done that you offer unique
perspectives on what may appear to be
obstacles in your life and they are living proof
of these experiences. And this can feel very
different versus dating someone your own age
or younger “

Me : “that bull shit ! really is that what you

think? the guy has more experience .. and he
plays mind games I think she is more of victim
with this guy than being a partner bro ..i just
fear that someone is being used her and the
guy know which buttons to push to manipulate
her … “

He laughed dropping his head back and hitting

the steering wheel
Him : “most women crave emotional intimacy
so it’s not difficult for a man to combine
earnest questions and over-the-top
compliments to create the illusion of trust and
connection that usually precedes sexual
intimacy. The game is a blast for both parties
involved – until a woman finds herself
wondering why the man who was “crazy for
her” and “couldn’t get enough of her” has
suddenly change and became aggressive man
are weak they can play so much of mind games
fact remains they want to smash and Squeeze
on something and that game does not work
well with an immature partner this is more of
The “play to lay” game. … “
Me : “ what the fuck ? you can not be telling me
you condoning this act why do man have the
right to violate a women and blame them that
it was all there fault… “

Him: “ why would a women lead a man on

vele .. lento ika so … all signs of a crazy abusive
obsessed controlling paranoid man are
always there on display if you as a friend can
see right through them it means the person
involve with that person is either to too
invested to realise the truth or naive … people
want a happy ever after relationship so much
that they start going against their beliefs and
ethics .. and that my bro means your friend
uyisilima … wait for her to fall and catch her ..
don’t try to convince her to live the guy it will
only push her even further to him “

Me : “ yaah ne … you Know for a crazy guy you

sure speak a lot of sense … sometimes “

Him : “ what ever .. “

I looked at him singing along to some love jams

with a smile on his face shit this guy is happy
and my sister is the cause of it

Him : “ why you looking at me like that “

Me : “ fuck you man .. you fucked my sister last

night“
Him : “ no I did not … I made love to her “

Me : “ dahm sbu .. that why you dancing you

got it all this morning “

We pulled over and bust out and laughed …

Him: “ you need to get laid and but out of my

business “ we were busy Arguing and laughing
all the way to the shops we bought meat and
some drinks well Sbu did all the buying he
owed me that much for screwing my sister he
felt like he need to celebrate that he is now
dating the most beautiful girl on earth not my
words his OK .
we decided to have few drinks before driving
back

him: " I always wanted to ask you this "

me : " what ?"

him : " Pam tells me you not dating no one and

it has been a year what is the deal behind it ?
"

this was an uncomfortable topic for me my

past relationship killed me and I did not want to
relive that moment at all

me: " I'm not gay but my past relationship did

not end well I'm still trying to pick up my life
so relationship are last thing on my list "

him : " I feel you bro but at least bamba

amatoho"

me: " what ??"

him :" there are lot of girls out there that are
not looking for serious thing "

I laughed this dude is crazy

him : " all I'm saying that live a little you too
young to be serious "
me : " I know but no one can replace the girl I
loved and love she took my heart and left with
it"

he looked at me

me :" I don't know where she is she just

vanished from the face of the earth her
parents just took off and left there was no
good bye note or anything she knew she will
leave me because the night before she
disappeared we made love and the next day
she was gone "

him: " do you want to find her ? "

me : " it's been a years since the last time I saw
her " I mean I was young and she was my first
love so it does not matter now

him : " I can make some few calls and trace her
if you give me the name "

I stopped him " no mfethu let's live it like this

for now "

him : " you sure ? "

me " yap let me sort out this calling stuff and

will see after that

Sponsored
 " no mfethu let's live it like this for now "
him : " you sure ? "

me " yap let me sort out this calling stuff and

will see after that "

he nodded his phone rang and he answered

he was speaking to Zweli he place the call on
hold and looked at me
him : " Zweli wants to hang out can he join us ?
"

me : " kwl but he must bring his own booz "

Sbu laughed " you so stingy" we laughed we

finished our drinks and drove back home I
never thought talking about my x will help me
so much I just feel like some weight was lifted
from my shoulders maybe it time to try this
love thing after all …

*****

Its Monday morning and I have a hangover for

years with a pounding headache event that
happened yesterday was epic I got slouched
so much to the point that I even forgot my
name and even kissed a girl at some point yes
me I was smooching and touching her luscious
body I wonder if I will ever see her again.

I can not believe that Sindy and Menzi hooked

me up with a white thick girl even thinking
about her got me smiling and shaking my head.

I was busy making my self coffee when Pam

walked in she was walking funny I almost
forgot that Sbu made her scream the whole
night I guess that was one of my other reason
to get too drunk and decided to leave the
house with Sindy and Menzi because on the
other hand Mpume was crying for her gorilla
that almost fucked her and Pam gorilla was
making her scream in pleasure while fucking
her so i dissed them and came back in the wee
hrs to sleep at least my ears were shut to
here all the growls and moans they were
making.

Her : “ morning “ she said softly clearly

embarrassed I just rolled my eyes and looked at
this freak standing in front of me

Her : “you cleaned this placed up ? “

Me :” nop I thought you did .. “

The place was spotless she smiled and shook

her head

Me : “ am I missing something “

Her : “ Mpume… “ I popped my eyes

Me : “ ooh when did she leave ? “

Her : “ Sbu drove her last night after you left

her crying in your room really bro what kind of
friend are you ? “

Me : “ she was drunk and annoying so fuck it I

could not deal “
And she giggled

me : not only does he make you scream your

lungs out and he takes out the trash too I
think I need to pay Lobolo for him “

we chuckled Sbu walked in with packet of

wimpy in his hands

him : “morning fam “ he kissed Pam cheek ..

mmm cosy I see

Pam : “hay baby … “

Sbu “ hay you drunkard “ .. I gave him a figure
and he chuckled while pam dished up for us

Pam : “ so tell me what went down yesterday

when we got here the girls were shouting and
crying ? “

and I thought I dodge the bullet but pam has

too be all up in peoples business

Sbu : “ well Pam is fucking an older man and

the douchebag is emotionally abusing her “

I looked at Sbu like dud I told you that in

confidence and now you go and spill the beans
to Pam
Me : “ Dud !! “

Sbu : “ what ? … oH was it secrete ? “

Pam : “ I still don’t get it .. Mpume ? miss goody

too shoes ? isn’t she saved or something ? “

Sbu nodded : “ well it’s the good one that are

very kinky love never trust them … mmmm
not too goody I must add the girl is self
destructing she was singing and dangling and
swinging in the chandeliers drunk as hell like
really “

We bust out and laughed he just exaggerated in

higher grade now

Pam : yooo … I’m shocked… she is really out off

control “

Me : “ guys just drop this please … the girl is

hurt and yawl are Judging … she just decided to
drink to let loose drop it you two “

Pam : “ I can talk to her.. I mean clearly she

need a grown up advise.. “

Sbu : “ naaa she need to grow up …let her get

burned if you talk to her now you will pushing
her to that guy … she already shown signees
that she comes from a strict controlling
background … she need to learn her lesson on
her own … I just hope it won't be the hard way
“

Aish I wish it can end like that but i know Zoe

will still bite her head off and it will not end
well

me : “ I’m still taken back about the fact that

she was drinking … maybe I should talk to her
her behaviour is just wow …a heart break can
really drive a person to the cliff “ we gossip
about last night event and laughed till our
stomachs were sore . Pam cleaned the table
and went to take a shower

him : “ do you want me to drive you to

Makhumalo or you will drive your self ? “

aish I forgot that I have an appointment with

her today .. shit im still hungover and I was
thinking of sleeping the whole day today “

me : “ shit I forgot “

him : “ mmmm one night of freedom and boom

you forget your calling and responsibility Trey …
jeez “

I looked at him why is he acting like my

father ?

Me : “ maybe I should cancel I do not feel too

good “

Him : “ awhhh hell no bro you going you

almost killed my wife with stress when you
were sick ..I’m not risking or taking chances
with my baby heart “

I dropped my jaw he was dead serious

Him : “ go bath I’m driving you … nxa acting all

irresponsible “

He walked to pam’s room leaving me with my

mouth on the floor what just happened ? I
did my business and dressed up I walked back
in the seating room and he was busy watching
soccer

Me : “ So Sbu how do you make umsamo ? “

Sbu kept his word and bought me my candles

and the white cloth even Mpepho so now I
had to set very thing up I was counting the
days now only one day to go before I go to sea
and cleans Ndoni Sbu was right I need to
focus fun and games can wait thinking about
what I went trough is enough to motivate me
to keep pushing on

Him : “ lets go check your room out “

He followed me my first thought was to place

it by the side drawer in the corner but my only
problem was Pam she would not understand
and will question me she already dislike
talking about my calling so since she the
breadwinner and Technically the owner of this
house I might as well respect her wish and do
things on my own when she is ready she will
come around and if she doesn't she won't I can
never force her … I’m just glad that Sbu got my
back and making this Journey bearable

Sbu : “ I hear what you saying and I fully

understand so we can set it here and you will
need to lock it at all times bear in mind that
when you start using real African medicine
there will be satin rules that you will need to up
hold to and abide with so you need to be very
district at all times… and your room from now
on must be a no go arrer no changing skirts in
this place “

I raised my eyebrow what ? he suggested that

I empty one of room/ space in my closset since
no one can see beyond close door what lays
within it out of site and I will lock it at all
times I set everything down and even placed
my holy water on my holy place just the way I
pictured it on my vision ones I was done I felt
a need to yawn it was yawn after yawn that I
started making a sound Sbu was looking at
me with a side smile .

Him: “ dahm bro you got it bad for real next

thing you will be sneezing and sniffing snuff like
a real sangoma “

Me : “ shut up … “ we chuckled I closed my

closset door and I liked the feel that everything
looks normal in my room even nosey Pam can
not tell that I have Msamo in this room

Sbu: “ let me check up on you sister and I will

drive you to Makhumalo “

I nodded and he walked out few minutes later

we were driving to Makhosi Khumalo

Me :” hay I meant to ask you something about

Makhumalo “
He laughed throwing his head back “ you know
that we can not talk bad about a gifted person
because she can hear or sense that we were
speaking about her “

Me : “ yaaa right .. any way I’m not going to talk

ill about her I’m just curious about few factors
about her “

Him : “ shoot I’m all ears “

Me : “ she is different from the Sangoma’s and

traditional healers that I know she is too
clean well spoken and she speaks lot of sense
her knowledge it just speaks volume you can
tell that she is educated … how do you know
her ? “

Sbu : “she is my mom psychologist “

Me : “ what ? … But she is Sangoma …a

prophet ? … dud she is traditional healer “

He laughed ”Mfethu get out and go question

her yourself .. I told you I’m not going to talk
about a gifted person that way .. I don’t want to
be struck by lightning

I chuckled and step out of the car

Chapter 38

Sbu decided to drop me off and drove off I

walked inside the yard it was a bit quite I made
my way to the back door and knocked on an
already open door

“ come in “

I took off my shoes pushed the door and

walked inside the kitchen the deco was simple
yet too white white tiles white kitchen
cupboards white stove microwave there
was no trace of dishes in sight in the sink it
was spotless I walked to the seating room she
was sitting on a one seater couch with bead
work in her hands busy doing her thing she
raised her head up and smiled at me

“ Ndlondlo “

Me : “ Thookoza Gogo “

Her : “ Makhosi “

I smiled and set down the house was spotless

now its either this woman has OCD or just too
clean way too clean there was not much of
furniture in the house just Tree black couches
stand and one big pot plant in one of the corner
a Zebra print rug on the middle of the room
with a coffee table on top of it you can
actually breathe in this house it was just simple
and spaced out.

Her : “ have you ever wonder why i asked you

to great me by saying Thokoza Gogo “

I shook my head embarrassment

Her : “|Thokoza gogo” in Zulu means

“Greetings ancestors”. The title of sangomas is
“Gogo” meaning one (grandmother) who leads
you by the hand. “Thokoza gogo “
Me : “ ooh and why do you call me Ndlondlo “

Her : “ you carry the spirit of lion .. you greeter

than me .. uhamba namakhehla … nabalozi
( spirit of Eagles ) river goddess a Crest on
head of an old snake and divine spirit inside of
you … it more like saying your highness in
English form … my level of respect for your
spiritual being is out of this world .. I should be
bowing down to you “

I laughed “ please don’t not when I have so

much to learn from you “

We laughed
Her : “ yoo look good ? “

Me : “ thank you “

Her : “ I thought you not going to show up

today ? you actually late infect “

I looked down and scratched my head if only

you knew what I was up to last night

Me : “ sorry about that “

Her :”naaa its ok so how are you coping? are

you having any dreams? Vision? “
Me : “ no I only had that one encounter of
that girl I bumped too and that dream I told you
about“

Her : “ I see “

Me : “ is that a bad thing ? “

She thought for a while … and looked at me

Her : “ well it something … but I will not call it

bad or good … but something “

I looked down while she was busy with her

bead work I wanted to know why she
summoned me here but I was a bit scared to be
forward and she clearly did not show signs that
it something that is important that I was
needed for.

Her : “ so tell me how do you feel about this

whole calling thing “

Good question how do I really feel ?

Me : “ to be honest I’m still trying to wrap my

head around it all .. it all too bizarre and
terrifying at times I feel like I’m losing my
mind at some occasions and I wish I can just
drop everything and move on with my life and
be normal you know “

Her : “ you overthink things that why .. you

crowd you mind with what if’s ? could it be ? ..
should it be ? you what they call a why this ?
why that kind of person “

I laughed

Me : “ yaa you can say that but funny thing is

that I am normally a very confident person
but for the past 2 months I have noticed my
mind becoming cloudy which has disabled my
ability to think as I used to. As such I have
become nervous around people even good
friends. In conversations the right words that
used to flow so easily to me no longer appear. I
feel dull and cannot find anything interesting to
talk about. I am usually a very positive person
but have been agitated and depressed lately. I
have noticed that my will power has gone down
tremendously as I have contemplated “

Her ; “ mmmm do you regret having this

responsibility in your hands … this calling … the
challenges of reuniting with your family ? “

Me : “ well I do not regret per say .. it's more

like I have self doubt “
Her : “ but Self-doubt can often feel like riding a
roller coaster. Some days you feel high and
“alive” others you feel low and defeated… how
do you feel now ? “

I slouch back on the couch and we locked eyes

she still has that faint smile on her lips and now
I understand the reason why i'm so comfortable
in talking to her she use time to get into my
head first before she can help me I can see
that I’m now talking to a medical Dr not
traditional healer now it all makes sense how
easily I am in confiding in her “

Me : “ right now I’m content I may not know

what I’m doing but I’m willing to take that leap
of faith and do my best .. I rather fail trying
than just give up without even lifting one figure
“

She smiled

Me: “ ambitious I see … “

I laughed and shook my head

Her : “Man is only great when he acts from

passion Your passion can help you overcome
self-doubt When you are passionate about
something you become focused You become
motivated to succeed at your passion despite
the doubts that try to hold you back so What
are you passionate about? “
I laughed dahm I don’t know

Me : “ I … I don’t know at this point … “

She nodded

Her : “He who has a why to live for can bear

almost any how

Sponsored
 so What are you passionate about? “
I laughed dahm I don’t know

Me : “ I … I don’t know at this point … “

She nodded

Her : “He who has a why to live for can bear

almost any how you can ask yourself this
question when you get home ..

What’s your WHY?

Why do you want what you want? “

She looked at me with raised eyebrow and side
smile

Her : My passion is to empower people to

achieve their goals. My WHY is I hate seeing
people not live up to their full potential Some
days I feel I don’t have what it takes to help
anyone. I feel I don’t have what it takes to
succeed But I go to an event and I find myself
talking to someone about their dreams. I can’t
help it i'm just naturally curious about other
people's life .( she giggled ) This helps me to not
quit but keep fighting for my dream “

I nodded in agreement this women here she

always open a new page in my life every time I
speak to her i wonder if Sbu get his words of
wisdom from her as well ?. She stood up
collectively picked up all her bead work and
placed it aside

Her : “ lets go esigodlweni … so I can ask your

ancestors why they not showing you the path
you must take “

I followed her the rendoval today she was

wearing a denim dress below her knee her
dreadlocks were let loose she is a very curvy
women with a round shape ass hay don’t look
at me like that my eyes wandered to her ass by
mistake I took off my shoes and set on the
grass matt she took one of the bhayi that was
placed on her grass mat she wrapped it
around her waist its was another print black
and white with peacock

Me : “ may I ask you something … “

Her : “ khuluma mkhulu “

Me : “ why do you were different prints of this

traditional cloths ? “

Her : “ first of all its called ‘AMABHAYI ‘ ..

I nodded … school is in session now let me

focus

Her : “Basically Amabhayi have a specific

meaning associated with that ancestor and the
phase in that ancestors life as well as the
animal printed on that particular Bhayi/Hiya

Black coloured bhayis are usually worn by

Ogobela (Initiators) that have reached a certain
phase of maturity and level of royalty and
respect to what they have become just like me
( she giggled ) . Kodwa ke thina bo Mtungwa
esino Hosanna ledlozi langaphandle ublack
usinika Amandla

…A white lion bhayi is associated with power

…A sun represent light innocence and the

beginnings of something new.
…A snake and crocodile representing water
spirits

Certain cultural amabhayi like the pula

(botswana) the shield (isiviko) ndebele coloured
bhayi Swati prints shangaan prints these
represent mostly idloti lasekhaya like amakhosi
xipilingo

The Njeti Paloe and plain white fabric

representing amandau

The Mpangele peacock chicken representing

fast ancestors that respond fast and are always
there quickly when being summoned … like i'm
wearing right now “

I nodded in acknowledgement it was making

sense she was now pointing at the bhayi that
are displayed on her wall what they represent

Her : A red Bhayi with shields represent your

ancestors it is believed that usuke engenwe
amakhehla (unendiki). Idlozi lakho kusuke
kungoyise mkhulu”

She pointed at the bhayi and walked to the

next
Her : “ this one blue Ibhayi ( elikuhlaza
okwesibhakabhaka ) represent umuntu usuke
engenwe yizalukazi (nendawo)…

This one maroon ibhayi means that usuke

uyisangoma esikhulekayo noma
esithandazayo. …Basically since you and me
have a spiritual + ancestral calling our colours
may focus on this one yellow and blue
represent Prophet + ancestral calling
(ongumthandazi) lona ukuphethe kokubili
Isangoma esinesithunywa sifaka ijazi noma
ibhayi lengwe. “

She stopped and looked at my confused face

it was a lot to take in .. and too many rules in
wearing this clothes / bhayi or hiya

Her : So since today I’m wearing this shades of

bhayi a red bhayi with peacock I’m mixing my
ancestors spirit “

I will be consulting mostly nomkhulu bami

nabakho The dress code of a Sangoma
highlights the importance of his/her
relationship with the ancestors. Although the
dress code is determined by the symbols of the
colours it also determine what you will be doing
kungabe uyomba imithi noma uyahlola
noma ekhuleka noma kukhona angakuboni
kahle. “

Me : “ wow … “ too much information I should

have carried a pan and note pad I can not
remember all of this

She laughed and clapped her hands and settled

down opposite she was fully now dress in her
traditional attire with a matching head scarf on
and another one over her shoulders

her : Along with those there are a lot of others

but each with a specific meaning to an ancestor
but the meaning represented by the animal on
the print as well as the colour yazi throughout
my ancestral journey I have seen initiates
wearing black amabhayi these can be either
from ancestors or that particular mpande.

Basically dark colours block an imitates

ancestors and prevent proper communication.
The best that should be done when a particular
ancestor requests ibhayi elimnyama it first has
to provide a reason why it wants that particular
bhayi and its use.

This bhayi should only be used upon request of

that particular ancestor during that phase and
should not be always on an initiate at all times.

In closing this topic since I can see that i'm

clouding your already clowder mind “

she giggled wow is that dimples I see

her : as a sangoma you should have a particular

bhayi for your ancestors which you use for a
particular occasion example is when I throw
bones or phahla there’s a white snake bhayi i
wear which brings closer fast my ancestors and
when sidlisa intwaso there's a red snake bhayi i
use which brings closer lemadloti athwasisayo.

These become an association between you and

amadloti wakho”

me : “ in other words my ancestors must

show me what to wear I can not just wear
ibhayi because that will confuse my ancestral
calling “

her : “ yep … have you ever wonder why most

crazy people wear amabhayi ezangoma …
kwaphambana izinkomishi on there initiation
phase “

me : “ wow “

she lit impepho and white candle “ let speak

with o’ Mnguni and find out why they say yenza
umsamo and don't communicate with you on
the way forward “

Chapter 39
.. ( lot of vernec used in this inset something
are better explained in my mother tongue )

“ siyakhuleka kunina mantungwa oimzilikjazi

kamashobani amakhosi amkhulu .. Shobana
noGasa kaZikode

Zikode kaMkhatshwa
Okhatshwe ngezind' izinyawo nangezimfushany

ana

UMkhatshwa wawoZimangele

UNyama yentini yawoZimangele

Mabaso owabas' entabeni kwadliwa ilanga

lishona

BaNtungw' abancwabahlanganana nezi ndlndlo

Zaka Mnguni mnguni ncobela sicoco shawuza
shawuz'oshisayo oshise muva nangaphambili.
mth'ongothiwa wothiwa zinyoni zezulu.
shawuza kashayeki ushayeka ngamatshe.
mhlakothi owugawul'uhlume. onkomo zabo
ziningi zikhulela emaduneni. bahle nangaphansi
konyawo thina esikhanyisa ebumnyameni...
halnganani Makhosi amakhulu ..
akenisikhanbyiseleni nisuse inkungu emehlweni
omtwana … Makhosi “

She was clapping and Chanting all along this

place was getting more and more fogy with
impepho smoke I was still caught up in what
she was doing growling and making those
sounds till everything stood still and it was
quiet my body was still seating still on the
grass mat while my soul or is it my mind that
was on another place I was in the caves the
dark ones with only light of candles the aura
or feeling was dark and not untainted
“ mvelo “ the voice startled me it was deep and
achored in this surroundings I looked up and
Somdala was sitting by the pride rocks he
looked waned out not his usual self as much
as he was old and grey he still had the look of
middle age man

Me : “ Mkhulu “

He smiled that was one of many lessons I

learned from Makhosi Khumalo to address
my elders with respect Ndoni is Gogo and
Somdala is Mkhulu .. by showing them respect
I’m giving them self-importance and superiority
Him : “ you need to break this blood tie with
Nomakhwezi in our blood line “

Not this Nokhwezi shit will it ever end I sigh

I was still confused i mean the plan was for me
to get cleans so that Ndoni can be clans as well
and once that is done it means that Ndoni will
help me break the blood tie curse (occult curse )
on Somdala so that he will reunite with me
spirituality so we can embark on the ancestral
journey .

Him : “ it not simple as you think son “ Ok now

he can read my mind as well

Him : “What I came to learn over this past year

is that Khwezi’s connections to the occult and
witchcraft ran so deep that even I was not
unaware of them. Many of your ancestors had
been involved in the occult through false
religions and worship of false gods and
goddesses. Through these false beliefs they
were indoctrinated into it they were convinced
to give over access to the ancestral right and
the blood rights of there living relatives and
every generation after them. That was all that
was needed for the devil in your aunt to be able
to begin his plan over our royal family “

This was shocking now I need to cleans dead

people why it this my duty?I head something
On the background there was a sound of
stream ...or waterfall ...or river but I could tell
that it was moving water there was
melodically sounds like wind making music it
was not destructing at the issue at hand but it
was there for me to hear

Him : “many of our people blood relatives like

myself will have experienced the same type of
things I went through with Khwezi to varying
degrees and levels and have no memory of it
either. I only was able to come into the truth of
my life because I cross path with you and
your spirit and mine are one I was willing and
forced myself to see through the fog in my
eyes . That meant going into the very darkness I
had been trying so desperately to hide from.
You see because of the terrible events I was
forced to participate in I believed nothing by
horrible things about myself. It was those
beliefs; that I was evil bad that everyone hated
me that I was irredeemable; that kept me from
every wanting to seek the truth. How could I go
to the light and be pure if it was the truth that
was going to expose how evil I truly was? …
never was my intention but most of it was done
using my blood and my soul to torment the
leaving “

Me : “ shit .. that women left no stone

unturned when she was destroying everything
on her sight

Sponsored
 “
Me : “ shit .. that women left no stone
unturned when she was destroying everything
on her sight she is infect the devil sister “

Him : “ as much as I hate her as well and I have

even turned my back on her but the fact remain
that she still family "

bull shit she no family of mine .. she the devil

wife fuck her

him : uphahle amazi amyama At times we

happen to hear of idloti leli elivaliwe noma
elithwebuliwe. Lokhu kuyake kuyenze at times
because of abantu abano kona abafisa ukuvala
abanye abantu.

Idlozi elivaliwe (amanzi amnyama)

Lokhu kwenzeka emndenini makukhona lo

onomona ofuna idloti lisebenzele yena kuphela.
Lomuntu uyake avale ledloti esebenzisa amanzi
amnyama ukuthi lisebenzele yena kuphela.

Lokhu kube sekuletha inkunzi yobumnyama

emndenini wonke ngaphandle kwakhe
nabantwana bakhe. . .
Me : “ in other words you telling me that every
blood relative that we have is affected by this !!?
“

Him: “yes ..Kuze kuvaleke ngisho amaphupho

I can no longer come to you dreams and visions
because of my dark past and what was done to
me right now we standing outside you gate
and could not get any closer Ndoni … still hold
all the power to purify me and the chain of our
blood line … I can not ask you to use blood as
certifies because a lot of blood was spilt for the
wrong purposes and evil purpose but we need
other means to leave this dark surrounding and
emerge to the light “

Me : “ what other means ? … what can I do ? “

Him : “ trust no one .. tell no one .. you more
powerful than any sangoma that ever lived
the light in you everyone wants it .. . isimo
somusamo wakho masaziwe uwe what will
tell you to do … you don’t share with no soul ..
most people will envy your gift and they may
have hidden agenda to take it … ukuthwabulwa
kwedloti Lokhu kujwayele ukwenzeka
esangomeni noma enyangeni … don’t make the
mistake I made … be vigilant at all times ..
follow your heart because that is where we will
whisper the truth at all times

Me : “ what must I do … ? “

Him : “use your inner ear to listen what can

you hear .. what do you feel .. the answer lays
there “

I found myself in the room with Makhosi

Khumalo looking at me with worry look I
don’t even know how I laid down on my back
and how all of this happened I was just
listening to her consulting the ancestors and
boom I was in some very dark caves with sickly
looking Somdala talking about cleansing in
another level that I’m not familiar with and
amanzi amyama what was that all about?

Makhosi Khumalo : “ do you need something to

drink ? “
I shook my head as much as my trout was dry
I was still trying to combine all the pierces it
was puzzling I opened my mouth to tell her
about my vision

Her : “lesson for working with visions is one of

modesty Don’t try to share everything You
only need to share the hints not the full vision
do not over think it you will be clouding your
vision … breath and look through on what you
saw you may think you saw something but
look past what you saw and see what was
hidden and tell me about it it will make sense
to what you saw .. “

Me : “ there was a river … no I heard something

like river … or was it stream … it was
flowing …and some melodically sounds “

Her : “ close your eyes see it and visualise it “

Me : “ river it a stream .. it clear .. pure ..

purity you must Let it flow like water and work
with its healing power Do not try to trap
water force it to do work. But in reality you
don’t hold the water you let it move thru your
grasp you drink of it let it flow thru you and just
smile. It’s enough just to remove your thirst
and get a touch wet. … Here they take the
things of that song or the land where we live
they must close and throw this thing to them.

They closed the connection of spiritual life with

human life

Here in esangomeni it is closed so that people

who are going to be using the ancestral calling
it stop the traditional healer from dreaming and
not working hand in hand with his calling “

Ok what was that about … what did I just say ..

where did that come from

Her : “Gogo can not work alone … we need to

ask the father and mother of the water to share
the healing power of the water no blood will
be spilt but we must use ukushweleza before
we go to the water umsamo wakho its clean
and bayawamukela but they can not dine and
feast on it till we cleans them .. because you are
of royal blood we need to call upon a higher
being Nomkhubulwane The Zulu Goddess of
rain nature and fertility and is regarded as the
Mother Earth. She is believed to be capable of
changing into different types of animals. The
name Nomkhubulwane means “she who
chooses the state of an animal”.

Me : “ How do I do that … how do I call him “

Her : “ its her but ke you already have you

listened to her when she was talking in
background .. that melody you heard was her…
the massage you said it was her “

Her : “ she is mother earth and you have a

spiritual being that can turn to any animal that
help you connect with her Remember what
Gogo told you you will need to allow the
waves to hit you and then you will know that
she is with you … but you can not summon a
spiritual being to be by your side without calling
the mother of spiritual being .. Gogo uNdoni
needs power from a higher being as much as
you need it as well from her “

Me : “ ooh I see .. “

Her : “ it all makes sense now to emerge the

spirit of Gogo will need to make an offering to
Nomkhubulwane as plea of forgiveness and
cleansing to Gogo Ndoni and will need to go to
the sea to cleans you and Khulu Somdala … so
first thing tomorrow morning at 4:00am you
need to be in my door picking me up we going
on road trip “

I nodded

Her : “ no worries Mkhulu All this will be fixed

because all this needs ledloti to be clean and
then put well at its home and to its people the
black trees red then white will use as isidlo
sabakini .

we will sing song that's used to sang to

preparer with the cleansing it is needed to be
prepared with it... to prepare the skin sama
dlozana that will open white water for you and
your family in other words omadlozana avula
kuvaliwe amanzi amhlophe ayisikhanyiso..
akukhanyisa idlela yakho...soon your path will
be clear "

She smiled while I was still confused as fuck …

wait a minute why do I feel so tired right now ?
I can not help but yawn and rub my eyes I
was just yawning non stop … my phone
vibrated on my pocket I’m guessing that is Sbu

Her : “ so this was the message that I was

unable to see clearly on my visions .. you may
go … we have an early morning tomorrow .

Chapter 40
Well days turned into weeks and weeks into
months we close to the end of May Month and
busy with revision for our mid term exams
juggling my calling and my personal life has
been a bit difficult at first but as Sbu say “ take
it one day at a time … you first need to crawl
before you can run “ .

My life has shifted from being Trevor the sick

guy to being the Mvelo the busy guy with a
whole lot on his plate having a calling has made
me extra quiet and observant I’m way too cagy
this days as spend most of my day in isolating
myself from the world and its questionable
people .

My day to day life comes with lot of changes in

my mood and lot of lessons I never thought
that having a calling can be this life changing
experience . Makhumalo has been a great help
in my life and she has made me see things in a
much more perspective way than what I
thought it was. Firstly she made me aware that
each an every individual has ancestors both of
blood and of spirit and each of our lives rests
firmly on the foundation of their sacrifice. They
are as near to us as our breath and bones and
when related with in conscious ways they can
be a tremendous source of healing guidance
and companionship. The ancestors we choose
to honour may include not only recent and
more distant family but also beloved friends
and community cultural and religious leaders
and even other-than-human kin such as
companion animals. Our ancestors bring vital
support to fulfil our potential here on Earth and
through involvement in our lives also further
their own growth and maturation in the spirit
realms.

Having an ancestral calling can make you act

and be strange to people that know you well I
was glad that I have an understanding family
and friends when I find myself not being myself
there always give me space. Like today i woke
with silent though lingering inside of me I
wish I was in a more quiet place with no noise
at all which was a bit difficult because school
is just too noisy and draining with lot of
unstable emotions and unsettle spirit flowing
around which was giving a mother of all
headaches . I was so glad when I heard the final
school buzzer going off finally school is over I
started packing my bag and made my way
home I was in no mood of company so I just
decided to disappear and not wait up for no
body . On my way home I kept on thinking and
trying to figure my dreams and my visions yes
they have came full force since the cleansing I
wish I can voice it out but there is that voice
inside of me that say if it's not clear now
consult us and will make it clear times like
this make me understand that Silence holds my
immense power When i discovered to still the
mind in my silent thought I’m able to create
what i want in life instead of reacting
impulsively because of a restless mind Silence
helps me understand myself and tune in to my
inner wisdom and creativity. When I’m with
people silence can help me be present and
connect with others. When I’m stuck or
confused silence brings me enormous insights.
Call it an act of being crazy of weard but my
understanding of silence is that Silence is part
of me and I’m party of it its my long-lasting
friend that I need to nurture and pay attention
to it … because silence thought may look or feel
bizarre to an conscious mind but to me it
creates the ability to understand the true
power of my calling and what I’m meant to
archive The most important and most
challenging way to honour our ancestors is to
fulfil our personal potential and life’s purpose
here on Earth.
“ hay .. “ Pam greeted me the minute I walked
in she was in kitchen cooking if not baking I
just Nodded and made my way to my room I
threw myself on my Bed and looked at the
bracelet on my hand that looked exactly like
the one my father had on I smiled just thing of
what I have gone through and what I have done
to channel my calling the cleansing ceremony
was a success thank God and I can gladly say
that my inner eye and ear see and hear things
that are out of this world.

Going back to that day when I had to do my

cleansing ceremony well the plan was
derailed due to the fact that I had to first make
an offering to Nomkhubulwane the God of our
ancestors so me and Makhosi Khumalo Did
take a road trip that day and yep it was still
dark before the sun rise we drove to
Ndwendwe mountains located in the southern -
East of the CBD it was the most peaceful
place I have ever been too and yet a bit to cold
we parked on the main roan and hiked up and
climbed a very tall mountain she said that no
people dwell in this part since its conceded as
secrete place and lot of stories about a flying
dragon spitting fire and lighting lives behind
this mountain I was already shiting my pants
when she said that because I know that with
my inner eye I can see beyond the human eye
and this shit may be real but to my surprise
when we reached the mountain peek there was
green forest and clear beautify river that looked
so heavenly with the morning fog covering it
up the first thing I thought was that I will
have to go inside this cold waters but no we
continued to walk till we stop and she said that
this was the heart of the river and this is where
NoMkhubulwane spirit resides ( idubulo
lomfula ) she made us kneel beside the edge
of the river she was wearing a different Bhayi
with different print today I guess it goes with
a task at hand we did not burn no Mphepho
candle or any thing she just told me that we
need to clap in unison when she consult the
mothers and fathers of this waters she chanted
and clapped while she consulted the waters
while I clapped along with her

Her : “ Zindlolo ezinkulu baphathi bedlozi

obaba baleykhaya … Omama Bezwe nina
bazali besizwe … Bhebe .. Ndabezitha

Sponsored

… Bhebe .. Ndabezitha Zulu omkhulu … Ndiki

lamadawu ... thonga lesizewe … she chanted
and canted till my knees were numb she
apologised to stand before the all mighty and
your highness that reside in the Rivers since she
just child in spirit but she comes with a lion cub
that need the spirit of the royalty to be besides
him at all times … the water started becoming
clear and clear as if there was light coming
underneath I peeped my head inside trying to
see the light and what it is she roughly
pushed me back and gave me an eye to stop
being too inquisitive she handed me a hand
full of silver coins and told me throw them in
the river while she asked ask for my cleansing
to be a success and for the grate
Nomkhubulwane to be with me throughout my
calling initiation to cleans my ancestors and
to be the light in the dark path I closed my
eyes and threw coins one by one she asked
for enlightenment and the spirit of the fallen
kings to be with me at all times she went on
and on requesting the curse and the dark cloud
to the broken from my family … she requested
for riches and lover peace and purity
homonym prosperity in my life … the minute
that the sun came up the waters started doing
some sort of bubbling movement
Her : “ kuzwakele dlozi .. Siyabonga mathonga
amakhulu “

She cupped a bucket full of this water from the

river and splashed it over my body from head
to toe she was talking a language I was not
familiar with she kept on doing that about 3
times and she held my hand and told me to
walk in front of her and not look back . I cover
myself with a bath towel the minute we got to
the car and tried to dry my wet self before I got
inside the car . I asked her about the throwing
of coin in the river on what it symbolises

She told me that coin offering to ancestors

has played vital role to our ancestors and to us
the leaving common and most used practice
in African culture and also other countries is to
throw coins in the river. The logic behind
throwing coins in rivers is making a materialistic
sacrifice in return for a wish to be granted.
Rivers are considered Holy and giving coins is
treated to bring good luck and rightful passage
as Africans have always held a strong belief that
the closest human link the living have with God
uMvelinqangi is through the connection they
have with Unomkhubulwane and amadlozi. This
link is deeply spiritual and helps to explain the
African people’s attitudes to ideas of fertility
life fortune and misfortune as well as their
general quest for a life lived purposefully and
with integrity. The appreciation and elevation
of amadlozi in the African culture and
cosmological view say that there is never a
stage where descendants of a family bloodline
must sever their ties with the elders who
preceded them. The living are dead without
their beloved and revered living-dead. So
connection of spirit between the leaving and
the dead need to be done buy a higher being of
God .

That day when I went back home I slept like a

baby I felt like a tons of bricks were placed on
my shoulders and head the most strangest
dream or was it a vision when I saw my front
door of my house opening and 2 big white lions
accompanied by 4 white lioness walked in they
set in front of me and bowed their heads
while the other one moved to the balcony and
started to roar it was so loud that I actually
felt my ear drum vibrating at the sound I
woke up from my conscious sleep that I was in
and too my surprise Ndoni watery foot prints
were all over my room I shoot my eyes open
and I remembered that I need to be in the sea
before sun rise so I jumped off the bed tried
to dress up my phone was ringing non stop I
answer without looking at the screen

Voice : “ I’m outside Ndlozi hurry up we do not

have time “

It was Makhosi khumalo I ran outside and

jumped in the car I was still puzzled on how
does she know where I eave and why is here at
this time
Her :” yoo umkhulu wakho unolaka … can you
believe that I did not sleep a wink the whole
night with lion roar in my house … he directed
me to your house and told me to wake you up
and come get you because right now you
angamwe abantu abadal and bakuhleli
emahlombe you might not wake up on time
and its important that you go to the sea today
I’m surprised that you were able to even wake
up “ well on our way to the sea she advised me
a lot about ancestral calling Amadlozi that are
governed by a superior galaxy of senior
ancestors known as amathongo. Amathongo
are believed to be the primary custodians of
umsamo or isigodlo also known as the physical
and spiritual centre.
Me : “ amodlozi are mainly my ancestors and
are spirit that I will work hand in hand with my
ancestral calling ... since my family had
experienced evil and people who used dark
magic so when I consult my ancestors am I also
including them when I consult ? will they
automatically come to me ? will I have an evil
and good dlozi with me as well ? ... how do
differentiate the two?“

She looked at me at bit puzzled and also

impressed with my set of questions before she
answered she took a deep breath and advised
me that

He : Although one may be linked to those

elders not all of them are categorised as
amadlozi in a positive sense. For example a
great maternal or paternal aunt or uncle who
was known to have always been evil in their
lifetime is not accorded the real status of idlozi
(singular for amadlozi). This doesn’t mean that
this person is necessarily cursed or pushed
aside but rather they don’t become the central
figure when family rituals and sacrifices are
being made. An ancestor who left a family and
was known for evilness and so on is often seen
as idlozi elibi (evil ancestor). Therefore such an
ancestor becomes an ancestor by virtue of
blood ties only but for all intents and purposes
has a diminished status in the world of the
living as well as that of the living-dead. So by
doing this cleansing will remove the bad from
the good and will allow only the pure to reside
with you “
I was still scared i mean I was going to consult
with Ndoni and today was the day that I will see
her true self her true form with my naked eye
no visions no dreams just me and the mighty
full snake called my greet Grandmother … we
rushed to the ocean and I had to do everything
on my own she just seat by the seashore and
directed me to focus and fear nothing I was
protected by amakhehla and my divine spirit
so I did what I know how to do beast I prayed
and consulted with my higher spiritual power
and on the fourth wave that Hit me I found
myself under water surrounded by huge yellow
tank that looked like Mabhida stadium .

Her : “ Thokoza Dloti … NDlondlo …Makhosi …

Siyavuma … Makhosi amakhulu … thank you so
much Mkhulu … konke kuzoba ngoba ufisa
sinewe … Dloti labangane … Dloti Laboknulu …
Dloti Labogogo … she went on and on praising
my name and chanting my clan name till she
finally showed her face she was still on her
snake form only her upper body was of a
human form she smiled at me and bowed she
was huge now I fully understand why she is the
goddess of the waters she came to me and
placed a bracelet on my hand I smiled at her
blinked once and a huge tide washed me out of
the sea so this is me today … with bracelet on
my hand a clearer communication system with
Umkhulu O'gogo and my spiritual side... my
journey just became reality …

.
Chapter 41

good you up … get ready we going somewhere

“

It’s the weekend women and its 6:00 am in

morning remind me why she waking me up
right now ? and why is she dressed in full
traditional attire it was a red and black xhosa
dress with matching dock she looked very
beautiful as always

Me : “ Mama where are we going ? “

Her : “ road trip “ she laughed while I popped

my eyes at her last time I went on road trip
with her I meet a huge underwater snake called
my great grandmother

Me : “ where too? “

Her : “ yazi stop asking me question we going

to be late .. go get ready “

I shook my head and made way for her to come

in she made herself comfortable in the sofa
Makhumalo has that humbleness and
peacefulness about her not forgetting the
motherly love she gives effortlessly she does
not try too hard to show that she cares it just
comes out naturally.

Pam : “ I had voices … ohh hi .. I did not know

we had visitors Trey? “

She was dragging her feet on her Pj’s

Makhumalo smiled
Me : “ Pam please meet Makhosi Khumalo
Mama this is my sister Pam “

Makhu: “ nice to finally meet you I have

heard a lot about you “

Pam had that look on her face that … Trey you

better explain yourself I did not have time to
explain shit so I made my way to my room I
stopped and looked at them

Me : “ let me go get ready “ I walked inside my

room when I walked out making my way to
the bathroom they were busy exchanging
greeting like old friends ’women’ right I took
a quick shower lotioned my body after and
decided to wear my black jeans and black
t-shirt with black sneakers I had no idea
where we going so I took a jacket because it
was a bit chilly outside.

Pam : wow … I don’t know if I can ever be able

to understand this world it comes with so many
demands I mean you left you husband and
children and came back to your hometown to
pursue your calling? “

Makhumalo : “yes I did .. and I do not regret it

one bit it was a life changer for me “

Pam : “ how so ? “

Makhu : Before I got into that space this

traditional healing place ( she laughed ) ... there
was a sense of emptiness uncertainty… my
marriage was on the rocks my kids hated me
because I hardly spend time at home due to
work … with all the glitz and glam of being a
medical practitioner I was still a very unhappy
person… I don’t know how many days I cried
asking God if this life was worth leaving or
not … yazi A lot of us walk around with smile on
our face while deep down we're feeling empty
and you can't even explain what this feeling
mean. People can be like 'you have a job.. you
are pretty… but you have this and that …' But
do not realise that with all of that you are still
empty. That was me‚ I used to walk around like
an empty tin for years . I knew there was so
much more to me that I was suppose to give
but I could not or I refuse to put a figure on it
the signs were there the dreams but naaa…I
did not allow myself to go that route "

I stood by my door looking at my sister listening

intensively to makhumalo she still was on her
Pj and there were drinking tee and scones
Makhosi Khumalo added that it was also
difficult to speak to people who she had never
met before but had dreamt about. She added
that she was often seen as unchristian because
of her gift her in-laws even went as far to call
her a witch ‚ when she in fact embraced both
sides of herself she revealed that she was a
little shy to embrace the call at first because as
a Christian she thought that it was connected
to dark magic.
Pam : “ yoo … and I thought I was the paranoid
one “

Her : “ never … accepting a calling is a struggle I

knew from an early age in my life that I had a
gift but ignored it I believed if I prayed and
embraced my Christianity it will go away I
mean look at me i'm a woman of class and now
I have to be this barbaric person wearing
animal skin and clay all over my skin … sneezing
and saying Makhosi … ( they laughed ) hayboo I
was way too educated to degrade myself … “

I shook my head listening to them talk and

laugh she even forgot that she was here for
me you Know Pam always does this I bring in
friends they become her friend Zoe and Sindy
are now besties with her and my friend Sbu is
the boy friend hallo now its Makhosi Khumalo ..
I shook my head and laughed

Pam : nami I see it as being dark and evil I

mean the whole slaughtering of animal . .. “ she
made a face

Makhu : I had that very same mentality at first I

even told myself that I will not except such
calling I wanted something beautiful My inner
energy must be clean maybe magical But my
ignorance and stubbornness took its toll on my
children they became sick non stop my
youngest daughter was in coma for six months
and I knew that its my own doing I was the one
to blame so I followed the voice inside of me
telling me I need go for training It was very hard
on my kids because I had to live them behind
I mean my kids used to sleep with me‚ while
there father was out gallivanting God knows
where . So for them to wake up and mommy
isn’t there ... It was very hard for my kids after
12 months of me being away I returned back
home only to be served by divorce papers
from the man I thought will support me on my
newly found gift ”

Never say you know a person I mean behind

that smile and words of wisdom and caring
heart there was once a broken women ? I
mean I didn't even know that she was married
yet alone have kids I mean she lives in
isolation in that too clean house of her’s

Pam : “ ooh my God I’m so sorry … “

She shook her head

Makhumalo :don’t be sweet heart it was meant

to be yes Emotionally it was devastating. I
was with him for 11 years 8 of those married. In
my heart and my head I was committed forever.
We have kids who were hurt very badly and are
still struggling nearly seven years later. It is a
brutal thing It was a destruction of the family
that made me lose my mind We are brought up
in society to believe that marriage is good and
divorce is bad. We're taught that we should try
and try and try and try again to make our
marriages work. When we can't make it work
all this societal pressure to remain married
makes you feel like a total failure even if you
absolutely know you're doing the right thing.
Divorce is a GOOD thing I tell you . It allows
unhappy people the chance to become happy
again so I left let go and claim my freedom …
took my kids to boarding school my eldest
daughter is in the military now my youngest is
in varsity I keep in touch with them and they
accepted and embraced the change … for once
in my life I’m happy yes at first I thought being
a Sangoma / medical practitioner will clash but
it actually go hand in hand I got a new
practice up and running and I devote my life in
helping those in need psychologically and
traditionally because a calling goes hand in
hand with phycology it's mostly deal with your
body mind and soul so to make people able
to channel there calling I learned to focus on
preparing their mind first. One need to prepare
their mind to accept and acknowledge there
gift since it's not an easy path to travel in.. “

Pam was smiling nodding her head why did I

find it hard all this time to convince her the way
Makhumalo just did . you know this woman just
makes everything look so easy

Makhu: “ Asambe Mvelo we already running

late “ she looked at me and frowned “ please
change that black t-shirt and wear white you
look like a vampire now “

They laughed at me while I shook my head and

went back to my room and change to white
long sleeve t-shirt

Makhu: “ thank you for lending me your ear

love it was nice to be the one doing the talking
for a change instead of listening and giving
advice … “

Pam : “ are you kidding me what you just told

me right now change my perspective about
how I view this thing called 'Calling' and life …
no doubt my brother is in good hands … thank
you … and I hope we still going to have this
chats in the future “

Makh: I charge for talking my dear “

They laughed you see what Pam just did right
there trying to be- friend Makhumalo Wami

Sponsored

you see what Pam just did right there trying to

be- friend Makhumalo Wami this girl can she
ever stop pam walked us out and waved at us
Her : “ I’m tired today so you driving Mkhulu “
I blinked rapidly shit does this women even
know the fear of me driving what if I have an
episode whiles I’m behind the wheel

Her : The only thing we have to fear is fear itself

What you are afraid to do is a clear indication
of the next thing you need to do .. so get
behind that wheel and drive “ I breath out loud
she threw me her car keys I said a little prayer
before starting the ignition of her Mercedes c
–class it was a dream driving this car fuck I do
not regret it at all shit I felt rich instantly I
mean this is the life no doubt she was busy on
her tab texting and smiling while I listen to low
playing ballads and following the navigator
we left Durban and we were driving to the
North side.
me : “ mama .. where are we going exactly ? “

her : “ to where It all began … “

me : “ where is that ?“

her : “ my home … you will see soon “

I just nodded and followed the white ladies

voice that was telling me to turn right … turn
left .. go straight … you are 10km to your
destination … she was irritating me to core
after about two and half hour drive we finally
pulled up … the first thing that I did was to step
out and stretch I heard drum beat that were
banging in the most beautiful rhythm I felt my
heart beating to the rhythm of the beat I smiled
and looked around.

Her : “ come sesifikile “ we started to walk we

were in the rural area dusty gravel road in
front of us were home stead of about 10
rondoval in huge yard a kraal on the left hand
side with cows .. as in cows ship goats wow
this place was buzzing with chicken roaming
along

Me : “ this place is beautiful “

Her : “ I knew you will like it here .. this is my

family house … not of the leaving only but of
my ancestors as well .. isigodlo esikhulu lesi “
When we walked in further in the yard I notice
people that were dressed in different
traditional sangoma bhayi I was scared but
also excited I mean this was so knew to me so
this is what they mean when they say they act
and look barbaric like cave people … there
sure do some were cooking in the fare out
door fire some were walking with bucket on
their heads some with firewood the one that
were busy with cleaning the yard sweeping
they stopped what they were doing and rushed
to us it was Two women who were wearing
plain white bhayi and matching white vest with
white clay over there arms and legs there also
had a white bandana on there head is this
Sangoma fashion ?

Them : “ Thokoza Gogo … “ they kneeled before

us .. wow the level of respect

Makhu: “ Makhosi ... seniqalile ? “

One of the women answered : “ cha mama

besilindele wena ma … isigodlo esikhulu
sesisiclinile”

Makhu : “ Makhosi ! “

Ok that all she's going to say this two women

took her bag and rushed in front of us that
was one swift move I was looking around this
place it looked different it was in the middle
of the bunduz the minute that we past the
first rondovals another two women with one
guy wearing similar attire but this one they
wearing was red in colour.. and red clay.

Them : “ Thokoza Gogo “ again they kneeled

and bowed .. I feel like Makhosi Khumalo is
impotent in this parts Jesus the level of
respect they give her. Again she said Makhosi
with a smile .. she asked them few questions
and they answered with ought raising their
head they did the same like the others like
servants they moved swiftly and disappeared in
one of the randovel I tall looking guy with
dreadlocks let loose he was dark maybe on
his 20th or so he was wearing a red pleated
skirt with white vest and ibhayi on his shoulder
he looked at me and smile he was the only
person who did not act like a servant no bowing
and kneeling
Him : “ mama … siyathokoza “

Makhumalo : Mhlongo … avukile amakhehla “

Him : “kuyancengeka mama”

He looked at me “ Ndlondlo “

Me : “ Makhosi “ that how they great in this

part so i might as well own up to it as if I know
what I’m doing

Makh : “ Ndlondlo meet Mthokozisi Mhlongo ”

I nodded “ today it's his graduation day
useqedile ukudla amagobongo and today
uyaphothula so we doing this ceremony for
him “

Me : “congratulation … “

Mhlongo : don’t congratulate me as yet I still

need to pass and see if I’m scot free or if
abaphansi will still want me to eat ikhamaba
elikhulu “

Makh: “igazi elizokhuluma mfana wami

nabakini “

Me : “ are you nervous ? “

He laughed “ my heart always beat outside my
trout .. the things I see and have been through
its nerve wracking .. “ we laughed

Makh: “ you exaggerating now .. besides you

should be used to it right now … and it not that
bad at all “

At least i'm not the only one who still find this
whole process scary as hell We walked to one
of the rondovel I wish I can ask question but
yoo I was tongue tight inside the room was
grass mat only placed on the floor Makhumalo
instructed me to seat down I did as instructed
and she set next to me

Her : “ Buza and stop popping your eyes like

that "… Mhlongo was going in and out of the
hut he was placing calabash on the head of
the room Makhumalo was instructing him on
how to place things

Me :”simplify it for me … what are we doing

here? and what’s happening ? why is everyone
kneeling in front of you ? … “ she cut me off I
still had a whole lot questions to ask

“ yoo too many questions at once … come

down we got the whole day Mkhulu hold your
horses “ I laughed

Her: “ this place is my mother house she the

one that I took over she was a sangoma who
got her gift from her mother and so forth and
so forth you know the drill pass on from
generation to generation “

I nodded “ this is where My ancestral calling

begins and end all this people that you see
here there are in training.. some are initiation
phase of there calling I guess you call me
there teacher / trainer or adviser that prepare
them for there calling and connecting with their
ancestors “
Me : “ mama I saw about 10 people if not more
here “

She laughed “ and next month you may see

some new faces as well so if I’m not
ethekwini dealing with idlozi lakho that is too
demanding I’m here and helping amathwasa
find there way in there ancestral calling so
everyone in this place has different calling from
the other from there dress code you can tell
which grade or phase there are in in there
initiation school “

Her : “ the ones that are wearing there ordinary

cloths those two over there ( she pointed
outside ) badla igobongo “
Me :” Gobongo ? “

Her : “ yes Igobongo is imithi used for healing

amadloti and pave their way on the other side.
This mixture of imithi is very powerful and can
help a lot to a people who needs to sort out the
way yamadloti who are troubled. … just like
you … that will be your step no one “

Me : “ oooh “

Her : “La Magobongo are mixed in different

ways according to idloti that needs them.

These include:
Igobongo Lomndiki..

Igobongo Lendawu…Igobongo Lesithunywa ..

( .she pointed at the calabash that Mhlongo set
on the floor )

there are eaten or used by people blessed with

the gift and not ukuthwasa. “

I nodded

Her : “ so today umhlongo uyaphethula

egobongweni ‘ coming out ceremony ‘This
ceremony serves as a foundation for what you
will be doing. During this time the ancestors
you will be doing amagobongo for will be
informed and asked to be with you during this
time. They are asked to accept lemithi and then
heal on the other side so that they come back
as good spirits this side. Upon completion of
these amagobongo you will dream of the way
lamagobongo "azophothulwa ngawo". This can
be a slaughter of a goat but the spirit which
wanted amagobongo will tell what to slaughter
and how the ceremony is to be completed….
This is a really good remedy but it depends on
amadloti that wanted it done and the reasons
behind. These are usually separate from
ukuthwasa or can be used to pave a way and
clear up problems with lemadloti asekhaya “

Me : “ so by doing iGobongo one does not

necessarily have to be a sangoma “
Her : “ you fast learner Mkhulu … that is
correct … ukudla igobongo nokuthwasa are two
different things so you can do I Gobongo
process and uphethule and still live your life as
per normal you still have the connection of
your ancestors but not be a sangoma like me “

I nodded … I like this Gobongo thing .. I wish I

can do this and do me then being a sangoma .

Her : “ Hayi Mhlongo … liphi ikhamba lesizulu

( umqombothi ? amakhandlela ? “yaboo
Phangisa khehla .. isikhathi sidliwe yinja

Him : “ yebo ma … “ he rushed out

Her : “ let me go change so we can start this
ritual “ I nodded as she stood up ...

Chapter 42

“ I’m so tired and I need to change this bloody

cloths “
I looked at her

“ when did they say the food is coming ? …

yooo I’m so hungry as well .. “

I still looked her

Her : “Majola … awusilethele okuphuzwayo

ntombi “

Majola : “ yebo .. ma “

Her : “ Celiwe please pass me that towel so I

can wipe my hands “
Celi : “ yebo ma “

Her: “ yoo umzimba ukhulile .. this kneeling

business is not for me now “

She laughed one lady who was playing drums

stopped and looked at me I smiled because she
was good at this thing I was a bit quiet

Makhumalo shifted her gaze to me and smile

Her : “ you almost passed out … the look on

your face Mkhulu yoo … “

The girl who was wiping the floor and cleaning

up was giggled
Me : “ do you blame me Mama “

Her : “ u have a calling and what we did right

here must come natural to you … don’t chicken
away “

I nodded “ is he ok “

Makhu : “ ya he will be … he is in trans right

now don’t worry his brothers will guide him
his ancestor want to him to be healing people
as in yesterday “

Me : “ wow “
Her : “ I brought you here so you can see and
understand the Journey ahead that you still
need to embark on I may … or may not be
there to guide you .. so im preparing you to
know what will be required from you “

Me : “ you won't be by my side .. ? “

Her : “ firstly Mkhulu … being a sangoma come

with stages and ranks My ancestors are
women … your are male … not just male but
the dominant species in the Sangoma ranks …
you of royal blood … I can not do what I did for
Mhlongo to you because your you are high
ranking … uyangisinda“

I set there all confused based on what I

whiteness this was harder than I imagine yes
now I understand why Christians say the most
horrible thing about sangomas I have see
animal sacrifice to last me my inter life the
images are still playing in my head as much as
it is believed that blood is a purifier and a
cleanser of spiritual pain. However it is not just
sangomas in training that perform animal
sacrifice. ..its it also something that is biblical …
but I want to know why must it be a goat or
chicken .. infect what does a goat symbolism in
this ancestral calling? I asked her

She breath out loud and answered me : A goat

is an important animal amongst the Zulu nation
or in Africa at large even though Xhosa beg to
differ since they use mostly Sheep’s ( invu ) .
The Zulus sees a goat as their main animal. It
valued more than a cow. The cow is only good
for meat milk and ploughing. However a goat
can be used for it milk meat and as a
coupon/passage to communicate with the
ancestors to ask for good luck and to wash
away or prevent bad lucks. If a child is born a
goat has to be prepared to formally introduce a
child at home. If a woman is getting married
she has to be formally introduced at her
husband home to be her real home. A goat will
be prepared for such ritual. Lastly if a girl gets
pregnant before marriage the boy has to pay a
goat as a way to cleanse the home/family of a
pregnant girl. Getting pregnant before marriage
amongst the Zulus is seen as bad luck. The goat
for such ritual is normally prepared outside the
yard/ homestead of a girl to prevent bad luck
from entering to the girl’s family. There are so
many things that a goat is used for amongst the
Zulu’s “

I nodded this was so new to me There was

noise coming from outside it looked like a
whole village of Sangoma came to this place
now.

“SIYAKHULEKA KOMZILIKAZI KAMASHOBANE

amakhosi makhulu iyshingshane zomoya …
“ she continue to praise the Khumalo clan
while the other that were following the old
man were whistling and chanting the other one
was doing some zulu dance on the side … this
was the best show ever . I was in awe like really
I have never seen so many Sangoma in one
room with different outfits beads bhayi
prints .. this was just wow “

They were talking and exchanging greeting the

minute they stepped in which was so loud I’m
counting about 18 people here and a whole lot
of other outside good lord

Makhumalo : “ you so late … hawu sesiqedile

ukuphahla “

One Sangoma women said “ well that's you're

duty we only came here to dance and eat “ they
was a thunder of laughter

Makhu: “ you can never separate isangoma

with meat … good lord … “

Another guy : “ nabaphansi bayazi “ they all set

down found an empty space on grass mat and
they squizzed them self till everyone was
seated there two drums now and the two
drummist stated testing there beats
Makhumalo whispered in my ear … “ I would do
introduction but this will take forever so you
will get to know them on your own time … “ she
looked at me and smiled

Old Sangoma guy : uphethule kanjani umfana ?

“
Her : “the ceremony was a success after he
tasted the blood … his ancestors told him that
he still need to go entwaseni “

one of the lady that was burping with hiccups

non stop said “ oooh nkosi .. libhokile idlozi
licaphuna abantwan manje .. if its your calling
it's your calling … kothiwani “

me : “ what does this mean is he ok ? I mean

Mhlongo ? “

her : “ yes it was his final stage and well

unfortunately for him … he still need to go
under Sangoma initiation … “
I dropped my mount in shock that why he
was acting all crazy and making funny sounds
talking a language that I had no idea what it
mean

Her : “yes Mkhulu believe it … izinyanya zakhe

zimufuna entwaseni … all we can do is prepare
him for the journey ahead .. it his destiny “

I just nodded and thought about the events

that happened few hrs ago What I saw today
was out of this world I mean I knew when
Makhosi Khumalo came back fully dressed in
her Sangoma attire earlier that it about to be
lite so the ceremonies started with the head of
the room with lit candles impepho burning
and 5 live chicken in one corner and two goats
held by the other two twasasa candidate
Mhlongo was led inside the room by two
women who were dressed more like Mama
he than Kneeled down on the head of the room
( kumsamo ) everyone came in the room and
it was packed we were told to kneel this was
a sign of submission to "emadloti" ancestral
spirits. Makhosi beat the muthi on the calabash
with a stick in a fast steering way till there was
a white form of bubbles overflowing on each
one she was busy talking and consulting the
ancestors and when she pause we will all said”
MAKHOSI “ After that the Mama requested
‘inkomo yabadala ‘ which was two goat one
was white the other was red it was lifted and
placed on his shoulder Makhumalo said
something and within swift move she slit the
trout of the goat's with a large knife and the
candidate turned around pressed her lips
against the wound and drank the blood as it
gushed out. The same happened to the other ..
he then walked on hands and knees to one of
the large calabash with over flowing white form
filled with medicine (water in which herbs had
been steeped) drank deeply. This right here left
my mouth on the floor the beating of the
drums and singing became louder and louder
some were standing up now and dancing in
rhythm it went on and on as if nothing
happened my mouth was on the floor what I
just observed disturbing this was definitely a
taboos the whole time the drums were
pounding out again the rhythm of the
"emadloti" or ancestral spirits we found
ourselves in daze even me included some
where yawning sneezing talking in tongues
Sponsored

there growls and loud sounds those who

were not affected were singing and
clapping .. … Makhumalo was slaughtering
some chicken and tossing them in one big basin
she removed the chicken bile and dipped it in
the calabash with muthi … I was getting dizzy
and dizzy … I saw two women with white
Sangoma outfits coming in they went straight
to Mhlongo and whispered something on his
ear it like I was the only one who can see them ..
yep I was this people were not alive it was his
clan people… it was his ancestors the drum
went on and on while Mhlongo was losing his
mind now and talking in language I did not
understand …what ever this people whispers to
him made him lose his mind .. he than ran
outside and the two guys ran after him out
Makhumalo : “ don’t allow him to leave the
gate .. isithunywa sifuna ukumuthwabula ..
Mthele nge ntelezi “
I was brought back to the present moment by
another beating of the drum and this Sangoma
lady stood up she was feeling her self no doubt
she had lot of beer cap thing pinned on her leg
that made this beautiful sound when she
moves her legs she was carrying a small still
( sagila) and wooden curved spire waving
around as she moved I looked beside me Mama
was not seating next to me
When this lady in front of me started dancing
WOW .. this was mind blowing … other joined
her they were moving is this amazing rhythm
this was awesome…

Makh: Celiwe please get me ishoba lami and

ungibophe lamafehla “ … celiwe moved like
lightning she handed her what I presume was
‘ ishoba ‘bushy tail she also tied the beer cap
thing on her legs she joined the ladies and
started tapping her feet as well she was on
other attire now she said something to Celiwe
and she rushed outside she came back with a
drained looking Mhlongo Celiwe was carrying
some animal skin on her hand Mama than
took the Goat skin bracelet and slide it into
Mhlongo’s wrist two in each wrist left and rite
white and red she then took the criss cross
vest top made out of the goat skin and placed it
over his Shoulders mind you this is fresh skin
from the goat that were recently slaughter he
gave him one of the still ( sagila ) and instructed
him to dance ( gida ) they danced and sang I
was clapping non stop loving this show in front
of me I was not sure if its because I like
Makhumalo but I find it real amazing the way
she dance she took the spot light and looking
at her doing the taping of feet that Sangoma’s
do was just a wow moment for me .

Later on meat and dumpling was served in big

serving board ( uqoko ) we dug in after
washing our hands in basin with warm water
and soap that was passed around by Celiwe … I
was still trying to process everything on what
just happened but I felt life asking questions
now I will look like i'm an odd one out so I ate
my meal which tasted like a dream eating like
this reminded me of the first time I ate like this
It was at Zoe place when she had her Lobola
ceremony . I total agree with the point or
should I say fact that izangoma can eat and
finish a whole cow I looked at the empty
serving board with only cleaned bones yep
this people mean business when they eat
meat… later on drink flogged in buckets and
basins with ice from beer too siders whisky
spirit and cold drinks I was just observing
everything I was not planning on drinking
since the car keys were still on my pocket
Makhumalo being neat freak came back yet
dressed in another attire now looking all too
clean she just changed four times since we
got here she seat next to me
Her : “ you still good “

I nodded “ ya I am “ I was still amused by the

story this people were sharing well Mhlongo
was helping me understand bits by bit on what
they talking about I still can not believe that
two years of his law studding just went down
the drain since he will pursuer his calling this
life is just crazy

Me : “ so tell me how did you know that you

had a calling “
He laughed and drank his savanna Mhlongo
was a down to earth kind of guy and we just
clicked I guess I’m like that with most
people ..

Him : “ well you know the dream story “

Me : “ yep it all start with us having a dream”

We laughed

Him : “Some of the dreams were vivid and

some were crystal clear but those were not just
any dreams they’re premonitions and messages
from the ancestors. The first thing my eye was
drawn to when I first saw her was a white
beaded necklace that hangs around her neck.
She told me that its is time to except my calling
I woke up that night drenched in sweat “ he
said that holding a necklace on his neck …“this
“ he showed me … was placed under my pillow
“ it was a necklace

Me : “ I got this from an underwater snake “ I

pointed at my bracelet … his eyes almost
popped out

Him : “ ooh my god … yo calling lihambisana …

nabasemanzini … “

Makhumalo jumped in on our conversation …

“ not only that his also Mnguni …. “ all eyes
shifted to me even a cat that was running off
with a piece of meet stopped and looked at me
I looked down shit now all this people look at
me like I’m some sort of Magical artefacts

Mhlongo : “ he does not know who he is … “ he

exclaimed

An old man/ Sangoma that was busy stuffing

his nose with snuff was giving me this
unsettling look I wonder why he is looking me
like this it was creeping me out no doubt he
finally spoke

Old man : “ you Royalty ..with a family ancestor

such as a great-grandmother or
great-grandfather your ancestors role were to
Protector and guide our kind so you are
Mnguni and your body is The vassal of energy
of Mnguni this may affects your physical body
and physical reality the light in you is like a sola
panels providing energy to the land your
ancestors and your people... "

Me : “ I need air … may I be excused … “ I

walked out I took a huge deep breath I should
be getting use to who I am now but no I’m
still as confused as fuck …

Chapter 44
Her : “ care to explain why Ms Zwane is
dropping you off today “

Me : “ Good afternoon to you too Pam … Sbu

“ they were seating outside the veranda with
bottle of wine for the love of Christ its
Wednesday night and already this two are
drunk in love Sbu was in stitches I have no
idea what was so funny so I let them be since
there were seating in a very compromised
position I could tell that there was a making out
orgy going on here walked inside the house I
found few book laid on my bed I looked at
them I read them out loud …

Ecstatic Healing :by Margaret De Wys …

Song of the Stars - By Vusamazulu Credo

Mutwa …

The power of African cultures by Toyin Falola…

There were about six of this books laid out on

my bed

Pam : “ so why was Ms Zwane dropping you off ?

“
Me :” we had a late class pam so she was
going to pass by my house and so she offered
me a lift .. what is this ? “ I placed my back pack
down and took off my blazer off

Pam : “ oooh this my brother is a gift that will

improve your brains “

She wiggled her eyelashes yep she drunk

Me : “ I’m listen .. “

Her : “ so after our talk on Sunday I realized

that me and you are bit clueless when it comes
to our culture I mean we are African by blood
but our brains are too western so instead of
being acting idiotic and not knowing who we
are where we come from why don’t we
educate ourselves “

Me : “ok …“ I wonder why so much interest so

suddenly about our background ? I rolled my
eyes I made my way out to look at what’s
cooking

Her : “ so I went online and ordered this book ..

but I got help from Makhumalo of cause she
told me this was the best way to know about
our heritage and so me and you my dear
brother need to know more about your calling
“

I raised my eyebrow at this point I’m not sure

if she is drunk or just talking with half of her
brain I looked at her she was on another level
of being excited I did not want to bust her
bubble by telling that my calling is complex only
a person who been in my shoes can be able to
relate or live to tell the tale most of this book
were written by professors who focus more on
the scientific point of view

Me :” I see “

Shit! fish curry and rice I’m not interested i'll

pass i guess bread is for supper for me I walked
pass her making my way to my room

Pam : “ why you acting like wet blanket I’m

just trying to help you .. I mean support you
Trey “ she was disappointed and bit sad I guess
she saw right pass my reaction I just burst her
bubble involuntary

Me : “ I’m sorry it just that i got lot of school

work to do I don’t even know when will i get
time to read this books and to empower brain “

Her : “ shit .. I forgot you studying for your mid

term “

Me : “ahhhh… look it's only going to be few

weeks and once I’m done with exams surely I
can read a book or two on my free time “

her: “ that great … but school work comes first

“

me :” yes mom … and Pam … Thank you … “

Her : “ don’t mansion it … “

I smiled

Her : “ should I dish up for you “

Me : “ stop fussing about me pam … go suck

face with you boyfriend please “

She giggled .. oooh boy I hope they take their

fuck session to Sbu place … I can not deal with
moaning pam .

I took a bath end started with studying till I felt

like my brains were about to pop I laid my head
on the pillow the minute is shut my eyes
there was this disturbing sound it sounded
like ringing or buzzing … it echoed and
echoed like it was deafening my hearing it
was more like a humming sound or was
whistling I tried to open my eyes to wake up
but felt like something was pushing me down
I knew I was under Sleep paralysis I was not
alone in my room there was dark forces that
were with me I felt this weight on my chest
pressing me down and preventing me from
sitting up. And not only was it my whole body
paralyzed but I was unable to even move my
lips to call out for help the noise in my ear was
getting louder and louder casing me to reach a
state of panic the more I tried to breath I felt
it attaching me it felt like a demon infect it was
a demon I open my eyes and saw this shadow
of some sort of an animal figure on top of me
its been a while since i had any visual
encounters but every time it happened I
frighteners me to almost to pee and poop
myself I started to feel that pressure on my
chest even pushing harder that i felt pain on my
rib cage being paralyzed did not help at all
because i started panicking even more
something whispered in my ear “Just coming in
to say goodnight.” That’s when I felt like
something was pushing me towards the edge of
my bed. Terrifying shit I must admit the minute
my body hit the floor I woke up
Me : “ ahahhhhhhhhhhhh! I screamed I
looked around and I saw a cat sized shadow
creature at the base of my bed and it slowly
crawled under my bed

Me :” ahhhhhhhhwhat the fuck … GET OUT “

Pam and Sbu found me standing by side of the

door with my hands on chest

Pam : “ what’s wrong … what's happening ..

Trey !!!”

I was just looking on the direction where the

cat walked to … “ it was here… Cat under my
bed … a fuckin cat ghost “
Sbu was walking around like mad person
“ what ? … where ? “ he asked demanding
answers … I just swiftly walked out of the room
and when pam followed me I told her

“ close that door don’t let that thing come out “

I was breathing abnormally that pam handed

me sugar water to calm my nerves I set down
on the couch now they were looking at me as if
I committed murder or something ok why is
Sbu walking half naked in my house and is that
Pam face on his chest ?

Me : “ dud you have pam face on your chest ? “

Sbu : “ I know its so cute right “ he gave me the
most brightest colgate smile i have ever seen

Me : “ it a fuckinn tattoo permanent ink and

you went ahead to have it in your chest ...your
body ?? !

Sbu : “ yaaa … so what ? she my girlfriend ok

why is Sbu walking half naked in my house and
is that Pam face on his chest ?

Me : “ dud you have pam face on your chest ? “

Sbu : “ I know its so cute right “ he gave me the

most brightest colgate smile i have ever seen
Me : “ it a fuckinn tattoo permanent ink and
you went ahead to have it in your chest ...your
body ?? !

Sbu : “ yaaa … so what ? she my girlfriend

soon to be wife and a mother of my children “

Me : “ what … is she pregnant! ??????? “ I

looked at Sbu he just gave me that conniving
smile

Pam : “ Guys !!! cut it out mani ! … “ she rolled

her eyes and looked at me “ so you said you
Saw a cat going under your bed ? “
Me : “ are you pregnant “ I whispered

Sbu laughed

Pam : “ No … cut it out Sbu ! “

I shook my head this two are such idiots I

even started laughing and forgot about the
mystery cat shadow that whispered “ good
night” to me .

I suddenly was not sleepy anymore and there

was school tomorrow I was still scared to go
sleep on my bed I decided to camp in the couch
most probably going to live the light on as well
Pam retired to bed since her shift start at 6am
tomorrow morning Sbu decided to be my
bodyguard and was going to keep me company
till I fall asleep

Me : “you know I get this on a regular basis but

mostly when I nap not when I go into deep
sleep for the night. “

Him : “ could be you drown to nap by it “

I nodded

Me : I have never experienced this type of

“demon” or entity before and this was fuckin
terrifying.”
Him : “ so walk me through this what really
happened ? “

Me : “ I have been experiencing fatigued sleep

paralysis and abnormal exhaustion I knew it not
something to do with my calling or my
ancestors this feeling is dark I normally feel
the hair at the back of my neck stand up when
it's about to happen than my eyes get heavy
and heavier and boom im off like a light I first
hear voices that cause my ears to bleed it's so
disturbing that I just wish to wake up but
suddenly feel a weight on me that's not
allowing to wake up or scream for help
sometimes I can see everything or at least it
seems like I can but I am unable to move. It
feels like if I don’t make every effort to move I
will be stuck like that forever. I usually have to
start by wiggling a toe or a finger and then keep
that momentum going until I’m fully wake. It
takes an extreme amount of effort and if I don’t
keep the effort constant I have to start all over
again. “

Him : “ dam broo .. that sounds messed up …

witch craft on another level “

Me : “ not all the time though sometime

sometimes it feels peaceful and good aish I
don’t know “

Him : “ you telling me that you get visits from

bad cat demons and good peaceful demons? “
Me” you such an idiot at time bro “

We chuckled

Me : “I have a few different “sleep paralysis

demons” and one sort of “sleep paralysis
guardian angel” I think . The demon ones are
the usual shadowy figure standing over me or
by my bedroom door. The worst one was while
I was lying on my side with my back to the door
and it felt like someone got into bed behind me.
Under the covers and put their arm around my
waist. Then it felt like they were cuddling into
me and I could feel breath on my neck. It felt
like they cuddled me for about half an hour. All
this time I’m trying not to show that I’m
panicking because it feels like I’m getting
cuddled by a skeleton with claws. It was only
about the second maybe third time I’d had
sleep paralysis so I nearly had a heart attack
when this thing feels like it's moving in closer to
kiss me behind the ear sometimes I will fee lit
long tongue going inside my ear and sucking my
brains I feel it I could hear it enjoying it self at
time I will wake up with bleeding ears Worst
of all it will whispered “Not yet. You’re not
ready yet. I’ll come back when you are.” To me
it sounded disappointed and excited. It felt like
it was silently telling me it meant that it was
coming back when I was about to die. Scared
the fucking shit out of me. “

Sbu mouth was on the floor

Me : “ and what I call My “sleep paralysis

guardian angel” came as weird experience. I’d
been getting sleep paralysis on and off for after
the demon visit and by this point I could
usually tell straight away when it was
happening. At first I thought it was the usual
demon things beside my bed but when I looked
properly I realised I could clearly see a man
kneeling next to my bed smiling at me. It wasn’t
a creepy smile. More like a parent coming in to
check on their kid. He looked like he was
dressed in a 50s style suit and hat. He didn’t say
anything. Although I got the sense he was
letting me know everything was alright and
he’d look after me…I found out off later that
that man was my grandfather not Somdala
but the my dad’s father … so yeah that has
been my sleeping pattern for the past few
days... you know what it's has been like that for
as long as i can remember infect “
Him : “My mom once told me that when she
was younger her room lit up and a couple of
men dressed in white and gold were sitting at
the foot of her bed playing music. One had a
guitar and the other some kind of wind
instrument. My mom said she felt such joy and
peace that she didn’t want them to ever go. But
when she finally managed to move her head
she heard one say to the other “She is waking
up. It’s time for us to go.” Then they vanished. “

he was dead serious I just bust out and

laughed no wonder her mom is seeing a
shrink she has few screw loose that women.

him :" " ya you laugh now ... at least she see
good demons .. that help her sleep wena ??? ...
mr cat shadow demon that fuck you in your
sleep "

i bust out and laughed Sbu hit me with a

pillow ... fuck this guys know how to turn a
serious situation to a joke

Him : “ all I’m saying with all the gift you posses
why you acting like a pussy … maybe you
should stop being frightened and fight back
what you see on those dreams I don’t care if
you ask Baba Shembe to come flying down with
banana leaves to rescue you or call upon Noa to
come give you a ride on his ark and make it
flood up in this place … fuck man you can even
call on a priest a minister and a rabbi some of
those people is the best at his job I presume
that one of them will go under that bed and
attempts to convert that demon to an Angel I
DON’T GIVE A SHIT how it done but it has to be
done …all I know is that I need you to cast away
those demons from this house … you have it in
you too do that but you just doubting yourself
come on dud I thought we over this shit …
because I swear if kitty Demo under your bed
goes and cuddle Pam … I will burn this house
down

Me “ what !!!!“

Him : “what my ass ! go to bed and you better

pray boy… Pray hard ”
Chapter 45

can I get you anything i'm going to the kiosky ?

Me : “ naa I’m good … “ Sindy walked out it was

already lunch break and I just did not feel like
going outside I took one of the books that Pam
gave me to lean more about African Culture I
was lost in this world and everything was
fascinating well to be honest since I struggled
to sleep lust night and too tired to study I
started reading one of the books that pam
bought for me and to be honest I was
impressed not what I expected at all it's
good to say that I’m hooked maybe it was not
a bad idea at all to feed my hungry brain with
knowledge who knew sister knows best I
was disturbed by a distinct smelled perfume
infect I smiled before I even raised my head
to look at

Her : “The hidden history of Africans …written

by the national treasure.. “ she smiled after
reading the book titled

Her : “ good read … what is it about “

I smiled and looked at her it still amaze me

how this women still so forever polite and
humbled Mis Zwane was not just my English
teacher she became a person I find it easy to
talk to at time ever since I came back to school
we have been having this casual chats at times
I may not know much about my calling neither
does she but sometimes it's good to just talk to
person who does not know me in a more
personal level yes our relationship may be
questionable as Zoe may say of find it but it's
just harmless we just clicked and I see a whole
different person behind those spectacles
she's definitely is a good person.

Me : “ well my mentor is preparing me for the

world something about me not going to be
her problem for too long so she believed that
I need to understand different African culture
to understand my purpose in life … so Pam
being Pam just decided the best way to do so is
by me feeding my brain in knowledge “

Her : “ Pam is a wise women sometimes theory

is much advanced than practical …and what you
Mentor said how you finding it ? “

Me : “ one minute I think I got everything

figured out and the next it's like I took
thousands step backwards .. it just an never
ending battle “
Her : “ you do know that taking a step
backwards can be the way forward Your
dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a
deep breath and try again “

Me : “ this is hard work .. i just feel like I have

too much on my plate “

if I was supposed to follow my heart why was I

back to square one? On reflection I realized the
answer was simple; I wasn’t back to square one
at all. In fact I wasn’t even close back to square
two … I find what i'm doing or embarking on
very questionable at times .

she tilted her head and looked at me our eyes

locked it was as if she was reading me of some
sort

her : “Do the difficult things while they are easy

and do the great things while they are small. A
journey of a thousand miles must begin with a
single step… Occasionally in life we get
overwhelmed with all of the things we have to
do in order to get to the future and reach our
goals ... whilst avoiding the present moment ...
or maybe we have faulty thoughts in our mind
saying that we are not ‘good enough ' to be the
person we would like to become ... one thing I
know from my own life and the things I have
completed and accomplished one of them
being a professional educator is that we only
ever have this moment and can take one step
or moment in time ... I wonder what my life
would have been like if I enjoyed the journey..
would I have slowed down ? took time to
reflect.? Maybe found an impotence to have
courage on my dream ? ... but when i looking
back I know that it all began with taking one
step forward “

me : “ wow well said ... I guess I need to dust

myself up and get on with it “

she laughed “ that’s the spirit ... look at it this

way you can commit to reading for 20
minutes a day. .so You can always find 20
minutes a day to work on your goals … so think
of it like this how about you learn to take time
each week to review everything you have
achieved you will be amazed at how far you’ve
come – and you will be even more motivated to
continue your journey. “
me : “ well why don’t we put that to
challenge ... you know write down all the things
we achieve in a week “

she laughed throwing her head back ... this

must really tickled her

her : “ Im so old for such activities “ she

laughed

me : “ come on live a little “

she thought for a while and nodded holding her

face with her hands I laughed as wellthere
was moment of silence and she folded her
hands and looked at me

her : “ how you finding everything though ? ?

Me : “ well it's kind of interesting and I learn

something new everyday you know the
strange funny thing is I have always lived my
life the western way … never considered myself
as African as much as I’m an African … but my
ways and beliefs are different from people that
are in my surrounding now … “

She laughed and tilted her head she was now

sitting opposite me she still look hella good in
her moaning cloths I still do not understand
why African wife need to wear black clothes for
12 months when a husband dies and a husband
does not even grieve for that long should wife
pass away or even wear a satin as symbol of
moaning like wife's do culture at time infect
all the times is just too sexist and degrade
women in every level.

Her : “It is said that when you are born in Africa

Africa is also born in you and so the love affair
with your homeland begins. Moreover being
African seems to be more than simply a
coincidence of birth it is a choice too. Those
living in the Diaspora or overseas countries
have often never touched African soil yet Africa
is alive in them. But what does it mean to be
African? We who claim this great continent as
our home have no idea or clue on how to
embrace culture or do as per of our forefather
customs we more likely are not different than
western and European people as much as our
cultures religions races and languages often
differ greatly yet we are all bound not only by
the geographical borders of this continent but
more importantly by the intangible belief that
this is home … but what is home when we have
forgotten our footing … western canalisation
has brainwashed us to only have a say in calling
our self’s Africans but act like the colonised … “

Me : “ wow … are you against people like us ? I

mean like me “

Her : “ phsssss please I’m more like you than

you can ever imagine “
We bust out and laughed

Her : “ I grew up in the most suburban arrears

in this country with highly educated people
surrounding me that believed that talking you
African language dressing in traditional outfits
was old fashioned and a bit bland and dull “

Me : “ what ? … so you what they call a

coconut ? “

Her : “ in a flash .. “ she giggled

This women though she sometimes act so

girly and childish
Her :being a married to a zulu man grounded
me and made me realise that It is only natural
that we love our home not only that but who
we are after all it is the place where we can be
ourselves and the place where we can remake
ourselves in the image of our dreams. so I want
to embark on this learning curve that you doing
right now know more about my origin instead
standing outside and looking in so what don’t
we put that also in our challenge “

I shook my head in agreement " deal " we

shook hands and laughed

Me : “ I guess I’m landing you this book the

minute I finish it “
Her : “ you better “

Talking to her has made me realise that we

often take for granted the gifts we are
bestowed and so it is necessary as a reminder
and also to ask: why do you love being African?

We continued to talk and laugh she told me

more about her life growing up varsity life
and the works … she is the most down to earth
person that I have ever met she remind me so
much of Cebo I wish I had there spirit of
embracing life and matching on even in the
most thorny paths smile and laugh through
the pain and befriend my enemies
Sponsored

smile and laugh through the pain and befriend

my enemies because forgiving and
forgiveness does not only ease you heart and
give you peace but it also pave the way of
righteousness in the eyes of the beholder . I
realised that Ms Zwane is so uptight she lives
by the book and hate the out door I mean
where is the fun in that ?
Me : “ so you telling me you have never tasted
alcohol before ?

She shrug her shoulder and looked away

Me : “ you kidding right … “

She shook her head saying no

Me : “ you telling me you have never took a sip

of alcohol in your entire life “

She laughed holding her face she way too shy

the way she holds her face when she feels
embarrassed and when she is trying to hide her
shame
Her : “ I never saw a need to drink .. I mean
people act differently when they drink so … I
just never had any interest at all “

Me : “ Slindile Zwane you so uptight … “ I bust

out and laughed yep her name is Slindile …
and yes I know her in more personal level right
now I must admit our newly found friendship
sometimes puzzle me but fuck it she is an easy
going person and to see her laughing like this
does something to me .

After break we had two more periods and the

rest was free periods aish South African
teachers and there union meeting it crazy
they hardly spend 7 or 8 hrs at work when this
meeting come to play the girls ( zoe and
sindy ) were going to salon to do there hair
Mpume had extra classes Menzi was busy
with his articles so I guess I’m going home
since I got nothing to do

Her : “ I’m going to my grandma's house you

want a lift ? “

I lifted my head thank you Jesus I was not

looking forward in walking home I smiled best
news ever …

Me : “ you spend lot of days in your grans

house this days ? "

She looked at me and than focus on the road

Her : “ well honestly i wish I had my own place
my house has become a 5star hotel for my
in-laws makoti do this .. do that cook this ..
clean that .. I’m just tired and it piss me off that
they still do not want to take this cloths off me
I mean I thought 6 months in moaning clothes
will do but they just tormenting me now so I
lied told them my grandmother is sick and I
have to look after her till she feels ok “

I bust out and laugh

Her : “ don’t laugh that was my only escape

besides I still have lot of marking to for all the
exam papers so peace and quite will do for
few day .. weeks .. or maybe a mouth “
Me : “ you definitely are pushing it now “

Her : “ naaaaa they will live … “

“ wanner grab something to eat ? “ she asked

when we approached my street I still find it
strange in a nice way that I’m this relaxed with
Ms Zwane you now the age difference is just
not a major factor to me she 27 years old 9
years difference but I don’t find it as a barrier
to be comfortable with her

Me : “ if you buying I wouldn’t not say no “

She drove to some food truck by my house that

was selling bunny chow actually I forced her
to buy it she was struggling to eat it as mild
as her mutton curry bunny was she was busy
saying it hot and downing it with coke it was a
funny too funny infect … I finished mine in one
go while she was not even close to finishing her

Her : “ you might as well take this as well I

don’t think I will finish it “

Me : “ you just don’t know how to eat it that

why “

She laughed
Her : “ you are one crazy person I don’t know
when last I laughed like this … as much as my
life is so messed up right now you just brighten
it up … “

Me : “ because I’m easy going … besides you

know very well how my life is like don’t even
try to compare yours to mine … and besides I
enjoy spending time with you I somehow feel
a normal around you “

Her : “hay the feeling is mutual I guess two

wrong make one write “ she said and looked at
me we locked eyes I have no idea how it
happened and what posses me but I found
myself sucking her lower lip and shoving my
tongue in her mouth this kiss we just shared
is one kiss that you should never do in front of
your parents one minute I thought she will
pull out but I found her moaning on my lips
this type kiss was sweet and tender It shows
passion affection and love or is it lust …. It gave
me butterfly she slowly pushed me away I
was brought back to my senses oh shit what did
I do ? I looked at her she looked down … fuck ..

Me : “ ahh … I’m .. sorry… shit!! I’m so sorry “

Her : “ Trey … “

Me : “ I don’t know what I was thinking .. I

just … “

Her : “ Trey …
Me : “ you might think the worst of me right
now … really it was not my intention I mean … “

Her : “ Trey … “

Her : “ I’m so sorry to disrespect you like that...

I mean … “ I looked at her my heart was beating
outside my trough how can I mistakenly take
her kindness the wrong way what wrong with
me … shit maybe Zoe was right I’m messed up
because got lot off salt … I’m even seeking
pleasure in wrong people …why is she looking
at me like that … ooh shit

Me : “ mmmmm “ I found my self closing my

eyes I was lost in the moment … I found myself
flouting what it this woman’s lips doing to me …
my pocket vibrated and boom Drake ...
headlights started singing ~~~

I might be too strung out on compliments

Overdosed on confidence

Started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing

the consequence

Drinking every night because we drink to my

accomplishments

Faded way too long I'm floating in and out of

consciousness
And they sayin' I'm back I'd agree with that~~~

Me : “ Sbu “

Him : “you sister is on her way get out of that

car now! “

He dropped the call I looked at her and

cleared my trough… out all the shit i'm in I just
added another one on top of it ... way to go
Trey ...

Chapter 46
I got inside the house and found Sbu standing
by the window I breath out loud and made
my way to the kitchen pore a glass of water I
could feel his eyes burning my back at this
point I was trying to get myself down from
the ultimate high I have ever head the kiss
was just mind blowing

Sbu : “ what the fuck was that ? !!!“ here we go

bring out the thunder stepfather
“ why you even still in my house ? “ I said to
him

Him : “ that not even debatable dud what the

fuck you doing kissing a grieving women ? you
know how fucked up that look ? “

I don’t know but I’m guessing you will tell me

Mr I know it all ….. Ohh brother here we go …

Him : “ you just took advantage of an emotional

unfit person and shoved your tongue on
her ….. ohhh wait for it … she still on her
moaning cloths hayboo ndoda .. unesinyama
lomuntu … “

Me: “ ooh come on … don’t tell me you believe

in that crap”

He gave me mocking laugh and shook his head

Him : “ I’m black and we know that fucking a

widow comes with bad luck mfethu this is just
going to bring you a dark cloud over your life ..
“

Me “ I’m not fucking her …it was just a kiss and

I want to regret it so bad but it somehow felt
right … and GOOOD “

Him : “ ooh thixo onofefe .. idomoni lodwa

leli … you clearly need deliverance “

I rolled my eyes Sbu is the most dramatic

human being on earth as much as he means
well the way he way deliver his consent my
look a bit too crazy to take it serious

Him : “I’m going to be brutally honest with you

because you are way over your head this is
wrong … society never accept such act she a
widow and way to old for you that alone is an
alarming signee nje firstly I do not know
who’s playing who in this case but I just hope
for your sake you do not get burnt “
Me : “ it's complicated bro .. I did not plan this
I’m just drawn to her “

Him : “ Mfethu ngithe mina shaya amatoho ..

here and there not be drawn to a women who’s
older than you and has baggage .. this is bad
this is really bad “

Me : “ I wish I felt like that but I don’t .. she

actually kissed me back .. I don’t know bro I
think she digs me “

Him : “ uncomplicated it .. because she is your

fuckin teacher an educator and fucking her will
be breaking the law she may even lose her
licence to teach or better yet lose her Job if
what you doing is seen by the wrong person
and you get caught .. it's not about kiss .. kiss..
goodbye you playing with a women’s life la
Trevor you better stop this “

I looked at him my hands placed on the kitchen

counter what the fuck did I do was it
infatuation? or have I really developed strong
feelings for this women ?

Him : “There are already a number of logical

answers here Some are directed at your
emotional intelligence Some are directed at
your vulnerabilities Some are directed at where
you are with this new life experience pursuing
her it all depends initially up to you … “
He made his way to the lounge

Him : “ busy fucking a grown women .. Jesus I

know you are a fuck boy and you will not pass
an opportune to tap some if given an
opportunity with all those raging teenage
hormones in your blood I get it but dud She
isn’t the typical of a girl you’ve dated or fucked
in the past. If you’re not interested or even if
you’ve become less interested over time then
you need to step up and break things off before
they even start I would imagine you do not
want to be “that guy” who hurts the widow’s
feelings. As much as she may take an interest in
you leading her on will only make her resentful
and full of regrets later. Look at it this way she
has already been through the worst possible
scenario she could think of in her life. She can
handle you breaking things off with her. Yes it
might be difficult Yes it might hurt But you
owe her the truth. She will find a way to make
it through.. besides she is old enough to know
that a fling is not worth it especially in her
situation you dig ? “

Me : “ Sbu I’m not fucking her “

He turned and looked at me “ I just said a

mouth full and all you only picked up the part
that I said ‘you fucking her ‘ Good lord … “

Me : “ she different ok kind nice beautiful

humbled and fuckin beautiful do you blame
me .. jeez Sbu you saw her .. tell me if you were
in my shoes what would you have done … its
not like you have never slept with an older
women as well “

Him : “ I’m grown up to know that I do not fuck

with widows they come with baggage and bad
luck “

Me : “ behind that widow is a women is it fair

to keep calling her that .. jeez Sbu “

Him :” “There are stereotypes about widows in

the same way there are stereotypes about
many aspects in life… so don’t say I did not
worn you Be sure to get to know the widow
you’re after before assuming who she is as a
person. Just because she is kissing you and
giving you signals does not necessarily mean
she’s looking for another boyfriend or a spouse.
Just because she still wears her ring does not
mean she’s incapable of moving forward with
her life and using you as a tool to test the
waters . There isn’t a guide book telling her
how to cope with the world as a widow after
her loss. She’s figuring these things out on her
own . Keeping an open mind and listening to
who she is individually will assist you in seeing
where she stands and what’s her intention ..
ooh my brother I hope you don’t get burnet
because you playing with fire … “
“ why on earth are you playing with fire ? “ I
looked at Pam behind me she had her hands on
her lap

Me : “ what ? “

She laughed “ what fire you talking about

vele? … cat shadow made another appearance ?
“ she walked to her man and kissed him on the
cheek

Sbu : “ yaa why you not focusing in that catzin

under your bed and stop fuckinmg around man ?
“

Me : “ ahhhhhhhh hayboo for the last time

SIBUSISO … I’m not fucking her … Jesus “

Him :” not fucking her yet … “ she pulled Pam

to seat on his lap and started kissing her I
know it was his way to distract her my sister
does not want let anything pass her but
knowing Sbu he will not spill the beans to his
women I made my way to my room took of
my uniform and just set on the bed I touched
my lips and smiled

‘ beep .. beep … ‘ I looked at the incoming

message

“ hi .. imp really sorry about the kiss “

Me : “ no I’m the one who’s sorry … I mean I
kissed you first “

Her : “ and I allow you to kiss me …. I’m the

grown up and I’m the one at fault I hope you
forgive me “

I smiled and shook my head

Me : “ if you have time to text me and pore

your sorry to me than it means you thinking
about it right “

Her : “ stop it was wrong and I’m sorry if I lead

you on … but it must not happened again
Me : “ so you regret kissing me back ? … “

Few minutes passed no response I’m guessing

she blushing I can just picture her her cheeks
must be red now she probably blushing and
holding her face I took of my clothes off and
made my way the bathroom took a bath
dressed up had supper with fam listening to
pam complain about her boss non stop when
they started being all touchy.. touchy I decides
to make my way to my room exams are
around the corner and starting next week and
already I’m acting out but at least Sli’s Kiss
just help me move my focus from my calling
and entity under my bed to a more normal
feeling I checked my phone again and still no
answer from her .. Good she thinking about me
I can not wait to see her face tomorrow .. I put
my headset on and listen to music while
studying after few hours in the zone I made
my way to the kitchen the light were off I
check the time on my phone it was almost
midnight I made myself cup of warm milk
took one muffin and made my way to my room
I place my night trite on the side stand and flip
through my physics book I felt the hair at the
back of my neck standing up I knew that shit
is about to happen

Sponsored
 I looked around my room there was nothing
out of the ordinary my eyes got heavy and I
felt so tired that I wanted to shut my eyes … I
started yawning and rubbing my eyes my
vision was becoming blurry and blurry I heard a
voice
“ Stop embracing the darkness fight it “ I shook
my head it was Ndoni voice

Ndoni : ‘They're coming to get you. A whole lot

of people are coming from beyond the sea and
they're coming for you But You have the
power to stop them. With us by your side we
can prevail against them. “
Me : “ I can not see them “

Ndoni : “ why you using your human eye in

looking at who’s attacking you “

But how I do I even do it how do I see pass

the darkness

Ndoni : “You will need to fight in this battle .

Position yourselves stand still and see the
salvation of your true powers and who you
really are .. now open your eyes and use the
third eyes that see the most hidden thing that
can not be seen in naked eyes … “
I hate how my body betrays me I now that I’m
wide awake but I feel like I’m asleep as well I
remembered a verse that my mother( Mrs
Meckel’s) use to read to me when I felt like I do
not feet in the world and when fear creeps in to
destroy my will to stand up tall ’ Do not fear or
be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them
for the Lord is with you. - Chronicles 20:15-17’ I
breath out laud and made a silent Prayer

“Almighty God I subject myself into Your hand

because I know that the things that seem
impossible for me are possible for You. Thank
You for fighting on my behalf and those times
when I forget remind me that the battle is not
mine but Yours tonight I’m standing still and
see the salvation of you Lord guide me and give
me power to rise above all obstacles and evil .
In Jesus' name. Amen. “

I shoot my eyes open and I almost peed myself

“ what the fuck !??“

Somdala was sitting down by my closet door

where my smamu was Ndoni was by my
window on her human form .. but her eyes
were changing colours

By the door there was a raggedy looking being

with claws red eyes hair all over looked
like a skeleton he was carrying something like
powder saying something in a whisper I did not
hear he kept throwing the dust on on his
hands on the floor which became dark smoke
I looked at the bed there I laid on my bed with
school books all over my bed a black cat came
out under my bed and climbed on top of me
it was walking slowly with it tail raised up I
looked at my sleeping self and could feel myself
trying to fight the heaviness on top of my body

Me : “ whats going on here “

Somdala : “ finally you are awake I hate doing

this lame protection spell to this wanar be
witches “

Me : “ this not Khwezi's doing?? “

Ndoni : “ you underestimate her son

Nomakhwezi is too powerful to use to toed
spell this is an amateur trying his luck “

Me : “ a toed what ? … they is spell that used

from frogs ? “

Somdala laughed “ maybe we should take you

to the caves now and teach you how to protect
yourself the reason we woke you up and told
you to use your third eye is because for the
past days this has been happening to you in
your sleep .. “

Me : “ I feel it I mean I even sense it before it

even happens “
Somdala : “ then why you not stopping it? “

I looked at the cat on top of my lifeless body it

was licking my face now

Me : “ what is it doing now … no! make it stop “

Somdala : “ we have been stopping it for the

past few days but not every battle is ours to
fight you need to man up “

Instantly the entity skeleton man melted into

frogs that were multiplying in number and
there were bouncing/ jumping up and down
they could not move around my room since
Somdala just blocked them with force field that
did not allow the frogs to jump all over my
room

Me : “ frogs in my bedroom … what is this ?? “

Somdala : “ isichitho sesele Nxa “

Me : “ ini ? “

Ndoni : “ it’s a curse witch craft …

Me : “ someone is bewitching me “

Ndoni : “ yes .. now you catching on …. So if you

see a frog what the first thing that comes to
mind ? “

Me : “ its gross with rough crippy skin long

tongue its adamant and very stubborn ugly …
venomous “

I looked at her “ should I go on?… “

Somdala : “ and with right Muthi all that you

see in that toad can be transformed to be seen
in you … isichitho “

Me : “ what!! “

Ndoni : “Considering that the bumpy surface on

its skin one can see how it might become
associated with the toad in appearance so
imagine that look on you ! “

I touched my face no not my good looks NO

Somdala: Have you ever heard the saying that

“ inkani yesele “ that what they wanted to turn
you too refusing to accept who you are even
if it hit you right on your face you will refuse
we can say go right and you will refuse and go
left even if it leads to the edge of the hill the
toadstone will make you see your powers as
myths useless and not worthy ..leading YOU
TO YOUR DOOM by not going ahead with your
initial calling …and by doing that you were
going to end up being sick and weak … with no
faith and powers it was going to be very easy to
strip you of everything you got …and imagine
all your powers in the wrong hands ”

Me a: a frog can do that “

Som: not a frog a witch who use a frog for

witchcraft using a frog can do that look Frogs
hold many ties not only in myth but in folklore
and magic as well. The symbolism of the frog
changed when peoples views on witchcraft
changed. For the longest time the frog has been
associated with luck good fortune rebirth rain
fertility or spiritual awakening. However when
witches started to be viewed as evil cohorts of
the devil the frog symbolism changed to
something more sinister. It was believed that
frogs assist the witch with collecting the souls
of children. the frog became known as the
witches demon familiar helping witches do all
there bidding. The fact that frogs resided in
swamps and stagnant pools of water is used to
exemplify the power of consecrated holy water
to expel evil spirits and purify sinners. Witches
used frogs in potions flying ointment rituals
some frogs are even used in poisons.

The fact that frogs are associated with this

darkness and magic makes them super cool
creatures for witches … so question is why did
you live loopholes for a witch to come to this
house "

Me : “ me ? “

Somdala : “ somebody knows who you are ..

what you are … and they want it “

I looked back at the cat that was on top of my

sleeping body leaking my face I guess that the
thing it use to makes me sleep … it moved it
face to my ear and whispered in my ear but this
time I was able to hear it was not deafening
sound as it used to be ““ calling on the dark
skies opening up the heaven of evil I call upon
you mothers and father of the witches of the
north the and south I curse the spell of a toad
to still the power from this boy and bring to me
strip him of all the reaches wealth well
being .. bring darkness in his like … temper with
his mind and his vision … he is not worth off all
the power he posses … we Makhosi aka
Nxumalo … abathakathi base Ntabeni sidinga …
umcebo wakhe … namandla … thumelani
isthunzela sesele siguqule inhliziyo kaMguni ibe
yosele … ngibiza izidalwa ezimyama
izinyanga … zamathuna…. “ I felt rage building
up in and I road

Me :WHO ARE YOU …. “ the cat looked at me

and hiss showing me it fangs .. I felt my body
heating up …

Chapter 46
I got inside the house and found Sbu standing
by the window I breath out loud and made
my way to the kitchen pore a glass of water I
could feel his eyes burning my back at this
point I was trying to get myself down from
the ultimate high I have ever head the kiss
was just mind blowing

Sbu : “ what the fuck was that ? !!!“ here we go

bring out the thunder stepfather

“ why you even still in my house ? “ I said to

him
Him : “ that not even debatable dud what the
fuck you doing kissing a grieving women ? you
know how fucked up that look ? “

I don’t know but I’m guessing you will tell me

Mr I know it all ….. Ohh brother here we go …

Him : “ you just took advantage of an emotional

unfit person and shoved your tongue on
her ….. ohhh wait for it … she still on her
moaning cloths hayboo ndoda .. unesinyama
lomuntu … “
Me: “ ooh come on … don’t tell me you believe
in that crap”

He gave me mocking laugh and shook his head

Him : “ I’m black and we know that fucking a

widow comes with bad luck mfethu this is just
going to bring you a dark cloud over your life ..
“

Me “ I’m not fucking her …it was just a kiss and

I want to regret it so bad but it somehow felt
right … and GOOOD “
Him : “ ooh thixo onofefe .. idomoni lodwa
leli … you clearly need deliverance “

I rolled my eyes Sbu is the most dramatic

human being on earth as much as he means
well the way he way deliver his consent my
look a bit too crazy to take it serious

Him : “I’m going to be brutally honest with you

because you are way over your head this is
wrong … society never accept such act she a
widow and way to old for you that alone is an
alarming signee nje firstly I do not know
who’s playing who in this case but I just hope
for your sake you do not get burnt “

Me : “ it's complicated bro .. I did not plan this

I’m just drawn to her “

Him : “ Mfethu ngithe mina shaya amatoho ..

here and there not be drawn to a women who’s
older than you and has baggage .. this is bad
this is really bad “

Me : “ I wish I felt like that but I don’t .. she

actually kissed me back .. I don’t know bro I
think she digs me “

Him : “ uncomplicated it .. because she is your

fuckin teacher an educator and fucking her will
be breaking the law she may even lose her
licence to teach or better yet lose her Job if
what you doing is seen by the wrong person
and you get caught .. it's not about kiss .. kiss..
goodbye you playing with a women’s life la
Trevor you better stop this “

I looked at him my hands placed on the kitchen

counter what the fuck did I do was it
infatuation? or have I really developed strong
feelings for this women ?

Him : “There are already a number of logical

answers here Some are directed at your
emotional intelligence Some are directed at
your vulnerabilities Some are directed at where
you are with this new life experience pursuing
her it all depends initially up to you … “

He made his way to the lounge

Him : “ busy fucking a grown women .. Jesus I
know you are a fuck boy and you will not pass
an opportune to tap some if given an
opportunity with all those raging teenage
hormones in your blood I get it but dud She
isn’t the typical of a girl you’ve dated or fucked
in the past. If you’re not interested or even if
you’ve become less interested over time then
you need to step up and break things off before
they even start I would imagine you do not
want to be “that guy” who hurts the widow’s
feelings. As much as she may take an interest in
you leading her on will only make her resentful
and full of regrets later. Look at it this way she
has already been through the worst possible
scenario she could think of in her life. She can
handle you breaking things off with her. Yes it
might be difficult Yes it might hurt But you
owe her the truth. She will find a way to make
it through.. besides she is old enough to know
that a fling is not worth it especially in her
situation you dig ? “

Me : “ Sbu I’m not fucking her “

He turned and looked at me “ I just said a

mouth full and all you only picked up the part
that I said ‘you fucking her ‘ Good lord … “

Me : “ she different ok kind nice beautiful

humbled and fuckin beautiful do you blame
me .. jeez Sbu you saw her .. tell me if you were
in my shoes what would you have done … its
not like you have never slept with an older
women as well “
Him : “ I’m grown up to know that I do not fuck
with widows they come with baggage and bad
luck “

Me : “ behind that widow is a women is it fair

to keep calling her that .. jeez Sbu “

Him :” “There are stereotypes about widows in

the same way there are stereotypes about
many aspects in life… so don’t say I did not
worn you Be sure to get to know the widow
you’re after before assuming who she is as a
person. Just because she is kissing you and
giving you signals does not necessarily mean
she’s looking for another boyfriend or a spouse.
Just because she still wears her ring does not
mean she’s incapable of moving forward with
her life and using you as a tool to test the
waters . There isn’t a guide book telling her
how to cope with the world as a widow after
her loss. She’s figuring these things out on her
own . Keeping an open mind and listening to
who she is individually will assist you in seeing
where she stands and what’s her intention ..
ooh my brother I hope you don’t get burnet
because you playing with fire … “

“ why on earth are you playing with fire ? “ I

looked at Pam behind me she had her hands on
her lap
Me : “ what ? “

She laughed “ what fire you talking about

vele? … cat shadow made another appearance ?
“ she walked to her man and kissed him on the
cheek

Sbu : “ yaa why you not focusing in that catzin

under your bed and stop fuckinmg around man ?
“

Me : “ ahhhhhhhh hayboo for the last time

SIBUSISO … I’m not fucking her … Jesus “

Him :” not fucking her yet … “ she pulled Pam

to seat on his lap and started kissing her I
know it was his way to distract her my sister
does not want let anything pass her but
knowing Sbu he will not spill the beans to his
women I made my way to my room took of
my uniform and just set on the bed I touched
my lips and smiled

‘ beep .. beep … ‘ I looked at the incoming

message

“ hi .. imp really sorry about the kiss “

Me : “ no I’m the one who’s sorry … I mean I

kissed you first “
Her : “ and I allow you to kiss me …. I’m the
grown up and I’m the one at fault I hope you
forgive me “

I smiled and shook my head

Me : “ if you have time to text me and pore

your sorry to me than it means you thinking
about it right “

Her : “ stop it was wrong and I’m sorry if I lead

you on … but it must not happened again

Me : “ so you regret kissing me back ? … “

…
Few minutes passed no response I’m guessing
she blushing I can just picture her her cheeks
must be red now she probably blushing and
holding her face I took of my clothes off and
made my way the bathroom took a bath
dressed up had supper with fam listening to
pam complain about her boss non stop when
they started being all touchy.. touchy I decides
to make my way to my room exams are
around the corner and starting next week and
already I’m acting out but at least Sli’s Kiss
just help me move my focus from my calling
and entity under my bed to a more normal
feeling I checked my phone again and still no
answer from her .. Good she thinking about me
I can not wait to see her face tomorrow .. I put
my headset on and listen to music while
studying after few hours in the zone I made
my way to the kitchen the light were off I
check the time on my phone it was almost
midnight I made myself cup of warm milk
took one muffin and made my way to my room
I place my night trite on the side stand and flip
through my physics book I felt the hair at the
back of my neck standing up I knew that shit
is about to happen

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 I looked around my room there was nothing
out of the ordinary my eyes got heavy and I
felt so tired that I wanted to shut my eyes … I
started yawning and rubbing my eyes my
vision was becoming blurry and blurry I heard a
voice
“ Stop embracing the darkness fight it “ I shook
my head it was Ndoni voice

Ndoni : ‘They're coming to get you. A whole lot

of people are coming from beyond the sea and
they're coming for you But You have the
power to stop them. With us by your side we
can prevail against them. “

Me : “ I can not see them “

Ndoni : “ why you using your human eye in
looking at who’s attacking you “

But how I do I even do it how do I see pass

the darkness

Ndoni : “You will need to fight in this battle .

Position yourselves stand still and see the
salvation of your true powers and who you
really are .. now open your eyes and use the
third eyes that see the most hidden thing that
can not be seen in naked eyes … “

I hate how my body betrays me I now that I’m

wide awake but I feel like I’m asleep as well I
remembered a verse that my mother( Mrs
Meckel’s) use to read to me when I felt like I do
not feet in the world and when fear creeps in to
destroy my will to stand up tall ’ Do not fear or
be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them
for the Lord is with you. - Chronicles 20:15-17’ I
breath out laud and made a silent Prayer

“Almighty God I subject myself into Your hand

because I know that the things that seem
impossible for me are possible for You. Thank
You for fighting on my behalf and those times
when I forget remind me that the battle is not
mine but Yours tonight I’m standing still and
see the salvation of you Lord guide me and give
me power to rise above all obstacles and evil .
In Jesus' name. Amen. “

I shoot my eyes open and I almost peed myself

“ what the fuck !??“
Somdala was sitting down by my closet door
where my smamu was Ndoni was by my
window on her human form .. but her eyes
were changing colours

By the door there was a raggedy looking being

with claws red eyes hair all over looked
like a skeleton he was carrying something like
powder saying something in a whisper I did not
hear he kept throwing the dust on on his
hands on the floor which became dark smoke
I looked at the bed there I laid on my bed with
school books all over my bed a black cat came
out under my bed and climbed on top of me
it was walking slowly with it tail raised up I
looked at my sleeping self and could feel myself
trying to fight the heaviness on top of my body
Me : “ whats going on here “

Somdala : “ finally you are awake I hate doing

this lame protection spell to this wanar be
witches “

Me : “ this not Khwezi's doing?? “

Ndoni : “ you underestimate her son

Nomakhwezi is too powerful to use to toed
spell this is an amateur trying his luck “

Me : “ a toed what ? … they is spell that used

from frogs ? “
Somdala laughed “ maybe we should take you
to the caves now and teach you how to protect
yourself the reason we woke you up and told
you to use your third eye is because for the
past days this has been happening to you in
your sleep .. “

Me : “ I feel it I mean I even sense it before it

even happens “

Somdala : “ then why you not stopping it? “

I looked at the cat on top of my lifeless body it

was licking my face now
Me : “ what is it doing now … no! make it stop “

Somdala : “ we have been stopping it for the

past few days but not every battle is ours to
fight you need to man up “

Instantly the entity skeleton man melted into

frogs that were multiplying in number and
there were bouncing/ jumping up and down
they could not move around my room since
Somdala just blocked them with force field that
did not allow the frogs to jump all over my
room

Me : “ frogs in my bedroom … what is this ?? “

Somdala : “ isichitho sesele Nxa “

Me : “ ini ? “

Ndoni : “ it’s a curse witch craft …

Me : “ someone is bewitching me “

Ndoni : “ yes .. now you catching on …. So if you

see a frog what the first thing that comes to
mind ? “

Me : “ its gross with rough crippy skin long

tongue its adamant and very stubborn ugly …
venomous “
I looked at her “ should I go on?… “

Somdala : “ and with right Muthi all that you

see in that toad can be transformed to be seen
in you … isichitho “

Me : “ what!! “

Ndoni : “Considering that the bumpy surface on

its skin one can see how it might become
associated with the toad in appearance so
imagine that look on you ! “

I touched my face no not my good looks NO

Somdala: Have you ever heard the saying that
“ inkani yesele “ that what they wanted to turn
you too refusing to accept who you are even
if it hit you right on your face you will refuse
we can say go right and you will refuse and go
left even if it leads to the edge of the hill the
toadstone will make you see your powers as
myths useless and not worthy ..leading YOU
TO YOUR DOOM by not going ahead with your
initial calling …and by doing that you were
going to end up being sick and weak … with no
faith and powers it was going to be very easy to
strip you of everything you got …and imagine
all your powers in the wrong hands ”

Me a: a frog can do that “

Som: not a frog a witch who use a frog for

witchcraft using a frog can do that look Frogs
hold many ties not only in myth but in folklore
and magic as well. The symbolism of the frog
changed when peoples views on witchcraft
changed. For the longest time the frog has been
associated with luck good fortune rebirth rain
fertility or spiritual awakening. However when
witches started to be viewed as evil cohorts of
the devil the frog symbolism changed to
something more sinister. It was believed that
frogs assist the witch with collecting the souls
of children. the frog became known as the
witches demon familiar helping witches do all
there bidding. The fact that frogs resided in
swamps and stagnant pools of water is used to
exemplify the power of consecrated holy water
to expel evil spirits and purify sinners. Witches
used frogs in potions flying ointment rituals
some frogs are even used in poisons.
The fact that frogs are associated with this
darkness and magic makes them super cool
creatures for witches … so question is why did
you live loopholes for a witch to come to this
house "

Me : “ me ? “

Somdala : “ somebody knows who you are ..

what you are … and they want it “

I looked back at the cat that was on top of my

sleeping body leaking my face I guess that the
thing it use to makes me sleep … it moved it
face to my ear and whispered in my ear but this
time I was able to hear it was not deafening
sound as it used to be ““ calling on the dark
skies opening up the heaven of evil I call upon
you mothers and father of the witches of the
north the and south I curse the spell of a toad
to still the power from this boy and bring to me
strip him of all the reaches wealth well
being .. bring darkness in his like … temper with
his mind and his vision … he is not worth off all
the power he posses … we Makhosi aka
Nxumalo … abathakathi base Ntabeni sidinga …
umcebo wakhe … namandla … thumelani
isthunzela sesele siguqule inhliziyo kaMguni ibe
yosele … ngibiza izidalwa ezimyama
izinyanga … zamathuna…. “ I felt rage building
up in and I road

Me :WHO ARE YOU …. “ the cat looked at me

and hiss showing me it fangs .. I felt my body
heating up …

Chapter 47

Feeling of mix emotion was making me feel

very angry and I was in verge to explode I
have always seen myself as weak and unable to
fight my own battles It seems that all my life
I’ve been there for everybody else including my
family and friends yet whenever I need some
help and support no-one’s there for me or is
me that not allowing anyone to stand up for me
I always feel like I’m in control but when faced
with challenges I feel powerless . people close
to me see me and know me as being strong and
standing up for others when they need it but
what they don’t see is that I could do with
some back up myself sometimes. I feel drained
by everyone else’s problems and needs. I’ve
had enough and I’m getting sick of not getting
what I want in my life. I know that sounds
selfish but it’s how I feel.

Ndoni : “ his anger is taking over “

Somdala : “ leave him this is the only way he

can channel his emotional state “
Why do people always take advantage of me
my kindness my good will … what have I done
to this world to be treated like I’m not worthy
this is me this who I am I was born this way
and this is my legacy that I will pass to my kids
as well .. why would people see me unfit of any
thing am I that gullible when they look at me
why do they use me as punching bag mistreat
me … or maybe too Caucasian to feet in this
African dominated culture that is called my
calling a my not worthy to know my root and
will always be treated differently this is my
calling ! this is me ! why do people see me and
feel like striping me of what rightfully mine .
Everyone has experienced anger The intensity
of your anger can range from profound
annoyance to extreme rage to destruction of
uncontrollable rage It’s normal and healthy to
feel angry from time to time in response to
certain situations. But what I feel right now this
is uncontrollable rage of emotions that I feel
escalating especially right now since I’m
provoked yet again by another being now… I
will not take this lying down … it's time to stand
up and fight … i'm not going to allow anybody
else to punch me throw witchcraft on me
sending demons and entity to torment me …
enough is enough !!

Me : “ who are you !!!” ‘I roared my voice was

deep and vibrated on the walls my anger was
triggered by lot of things problems I faced
growing up trauma I endured and what I have
gone through being told I’m crazy and
medicated induced causing me to have a
mental meltdown ..and now people want to
come to my house and do as they please ..
using witchcraft dark magic evil shadows on
me for there own vindictive vengeful
revengeful avenging unforgiving
grudge-bearing resentful ill-disposed gains …
right now I was boiling with anger

Ndoni :Mvelo listen to me … Anger can be

caused by very real problems. While some
anger is justified when something doesn’t go as
planned it’s not the anger that will help you fix
the problem. The best way to approach a
situation that’s making you angry is to not focus
on the solution but to figure out how to
address the problem… “
Me : “ don’t get involve Ndoni .. not now … I
want to know who the fuck thinks they can
mess with my life!!!“ I roar

There was dark smoke in the room now the cat

was busy doing the hissing sound looking at
me dead in the eye Ndoni stood her ground
next to me the room was getting a bit heated
up fuck I felt heated up as well .. I felt my
heart beat uncontrollable fast

Somdala : “ claim it my boy it's yours let it out “

I was breathing and shaking my palms sweaty

the frogs stated making there sound jumping
up and down trying to break free from the
binding spell

Voice : “ you no match to me .. you don’t even

know who you are .. you clueless you don’t
deserve this power you possess . you not even
a true Mnguni … you pathetic … clouded by
emotions and you think you can go against
me … “ the voice was echoing in the room and
it started to laugh that evil conniving laugh I
was fuming I felt aggressive and made my way
to the cat my first thought was to strangle it
with my bear hands
Somdala : When you engage in aggressive
behaviour you may feel irritable and restless.
You may feel impulsive. You may find it hard to
control your behaviour You might not know
which behaviours are socially appropriate In
this cases you might act aggressively on
purpose you may use aggressive behaviour to
get revenge or provoke someone … but control
it and tell me who you are !!... NOW ! “

I feel my throat getting dry my vision

becoming brighter … I wanted to scream …

Somdala : “ let it out … now !! “

Me : “ aaaaaaaaaaah I felt a piercing pain in

my chest “
The black cat started doing the cat walk proud
of its actin walking around “ you are weak …
you think out of all people you can cast me
out … I was sent by the great NXUMALO … A
powerful witch that ever lived in the greater
mountains of Mzinyathi … you are a weakling ..
and I will strip you with all that you have once
I’m done with you even your preciouses sister
will not recognise you .. I will destroy you “ my
chest was in pain my head was pounding it
was as if I was pounded by a hammer “

Ndoni” its hurting him “ she transformed to

snake and swiftly rolled herself cycling
around me I was in between her snake body
she actually cocooned me
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I was in between her snake body she actually

cocooned me I started breathing normally
and I felt her touch on my face she was acting
like a shield whatever evil that the cat was
using to me started sizing off
Her : “ you can do this my boy I believe in you
the anger you have must be used to emerge
with Somdala he can not be one with you if
you doubting yourself so much “ i opened my
eyes and I saw her image she smile and nodded

Her : “ who are you … “

Me : “ I’m…

Mnguni kaYeyeye...

Osidlabehlezi bakaKhondlo kaPhakathwayo...

Abathi bedla… babeyenga umuntu ngendaba...

Abathi "dluya kubeyethwe" IM Phakathwayo!...

Wena kaMalandela...
Ngokulandel' izinkomo zamadoda...

Amazala-nkosi lana!...

Mpangazitha! … I have a blood of lion imp

undefeated .. I stand with my forefathers
prides of the lands My faith is stronger by the
power I possess …

My fate is clear …

I'm free no longer bound…

I'm free not chained ….

I'm fearless yes I'm brave .. as I move with the
spirit of lion in inside of me I'll be bold like a
lion...

I will roar through this fire...

I'll be a light … Im Mvelo Mnguni ordained by

the heaven spirit the light and life of the river
goddess blood and heart of the lion now tell
me

.... who are YOOOOOOOOOU! “

I don’t know when I transform into a lion but

this was an amazing feeling the light shines
through my room as if it was spot light or bright
sun rays blinding all the darkness in this room
I realised that When you need to find your true
power it cannot be found in noise and
restlessness. Great power is is the friend of
silence and self control . See how nature - trees
flowers grass- grows in silence; see the stars
the moon and the sun how they move in
silence... We need silence to be able to touch
soul and realise the greater power that lays
within . the cat turned into a shadow looking
being with disturbing appearance looked like
an old person wrinkled with skin tissue that was
decaying long claws nails grey hair and
pigmentation I looked at this entity that was
before me it was trying so hard to crawl in
shady corner where light did not reach I felt
Anger all over again I roar my paused touched
the ground I shook my head and felt an urge to
cast out this witch in inside my house

Shadow : “ho… how did you?? … you … a lion …

how did you do that ? the great write lion …
you are the Mnguni … please spare my soul I
did not know … oh… forgive me great one
forgive me my king “

Me : “ who sent you “ there was voice in my

head that was chanting something ~~~
Whether thou art a ghost that hath come from
the earth or a phantom of night that hath no
couch… or one that lieth dead in the desert… or
a ghost unburied… or a hag-demon or a ghoul
or a robber-sprite or a weeping woman that
hath died with a babe at the breast… Whatever
thou be until thou art removed until thou
departs from the body of the man thou shalt
have no water to drink. Thou shalt not stretch
forth thy hand… Into the house enter thou not.
Through the fence break thou not…~~~

It started burning up with blue and gold flames

the frogs were crushed and melted like candle
we … with no trace that there even there the
dark mark on the floor and the powder slowly
vanished the entity was burning and crying
saying something ..

Me : “ who sent you!! “ this time I moved close

to it … and the more I move the more the light
followed me causing the entity to lose it mind
trying to find a way to hide already the
burnishing has started it was a matter of time
now that it becomes vanquish but i needed it
tell me who sent it … I was not able to see
through its eyes it actually hide the real witch
that sent this dark magic to my house .. to
me …

Witch : “ u baba… ubaba osithumile … uthe

asize lana sizothatha inhlanhla yakho .. isiphiwo
sakho “ his voice was trembling his skin was
melting it smelled funny as well crying in
agony bagging for me to stop but no ways … I
want it dead vanquished from the face of the
earth .. if its able to torment me like this ..
makes me think of how many people it was
sent to torment there peaceful sleep as well
and bewitched them …
Me : “ why!!! “ I was two steps before it and I
could faintly see a person behind this evil he
was looking into a big black pot looks like a
poiky I only saw his back … and what he was
wearing … but could not tell on who is this
person ...

Witch : “ amandla akho makhulu .. siyawading

ukuvusa afile abanesinyama njengathi …
ngiyasha .. please help me .. I will not come
back .. please stop … I can even work with you ..
be your slave .. your servant my king .. please
give me a chance “

Me : “ who is baba? “

“ I’m burning up … aaahhhhhhhh don’t make

me go back there no ..no n……….” a portal
opened up and saw fire and darkness cries and
scream … that must be were all cussed demons
go to Babylon or is purgatory … but I still need
answers though … this is entity was send by
witch who wants to kill me strip me of my
powers and use it for evil who could that be ?
I want to know who sent him to my house yes
I got the answers why.. but now who ? .. is this
evil person that performing witchcraft on
innocent souls …

“ Whose baba!! “

Entity : “ Nxumalo … baba nxumalo … awwwww

ngiyasha … “ and poof he vanished and the
portal and it closed the minute he was sucked
in with his scream for help … echoing and
suddenly I felt tired

Ndoni : “ finally the lion raised “

I still think this was all a dream but it was not

because I was no longer in my bed I wanted
look myself in the mirror because I knew that I
was different I felt different … I felt power
and I loved it …this is me now the white lion …
powers feels good . im truly blessed

Somdala : “ we are now one “

Chapter 48

I shoot my eyes open there was disturbing

banging sound on my door I looked at my
surrounding I was on the floor my body was
so heavy I was on the floor and the Mpempho
smell was so overpowering looks like I lit it up
last night after casting the entity

Pam : “ Trey wake you going to be late for

school “
Me: “ shit ! “ I jumped up it was almost 7h00
and I need to in school by 7:30

I closed and locked my closet rushed out

followed by the smell of impempho to the
bathroom I didn't even want to look at Pam’s
expression right now and was not going to
explain what happened to me while she was
sleeping I was rushing in everything and 7:20 I
was done

Me : “ your car keys please “

She did not dispute or argue with me she just
handed her car keys to me

Me : “ thank you”

She yelled goodbye while I made my way out

I drove to school and yes i was late but as long
as it was before 8:00 I’m good I dished
assembly as it was already in session and made
my way to class . I found one of my classmates
his name is Thami soccer captain and biggest
fuckboy in this school his arrogant as they
come and if you have a beef with him he will
rearrange your face I have never seen a
person with anger management issues like him
I did not know if I should great him or just let
him be guys like him you just never know how
to act around them and what may tick them off

Him : “ pretty boy … Mashani ? “

Fuck I hate that name I just nodded

Me : “ 8ta “

I set on my desk and looked outside the

window praying that let the assembly end I
need company as in yesterday I for one don’t
like conflict Because it mostly associate with
negative thoughts and don’t see how helpful it
can be in my life . Thami presence was not
settling he was clicking his pan and paging
through his text book I looked at him and his
frown on his face was just visible that he was
pissed he was studying and reading and
mumbling on whatever is written on his text
book he raised his head and suddenly our
eyes meet he gave me that bull eye look

Him : “ what ? “

Me : “ nothing … “ I looked aside

Him : “ maybe there is something why you

looking at me like that ? “

I was about to answer him but noise from

student walking on the corridors indicated that
assembly is over student settled down in the
place and it was hella noisy

Zoe : “ attention student please kindly note

that Ms Zwane is not in school today so some
of us who have not finished her assay please
use your two free period wisely “

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The crowd went ballistic cheering on like really

this idiots I wonder why Sli was not in school
I hope it not because of the kiss could it be ?
maybe Sbu was right the kiss was bad idea shit
just got real with my calling now i can not
complicate it with being involved with a women
I feel this anointing feeling with Somdala
present inside of me it just wow feeling I
mean my body changed when I started puberty
but why do I feel like a brand new person now
maybe I am reborn... must be .

“ library in 5 … “

I looked up it was Zoe this girl moss she does

not play when it comes to being focus and
school work I took my bags and looked
around Sindy and Menzi were arguing again
Me : “you two act like married couple can you
just drop this shouting and let's go study “

Sindy : “ Count me out I will just listen to music

in class “

She walked pass us back to class I looked at

Menzi

Him : “ she on her periods “

I shook my head and laughed

Him : “ why we going to library ? “

Me : “ miss Zoe wants us to use this free period
to do something productive “

Him : “fuck that I’m going to smoke Sindy just

gave me a headache “ we fist bump and he
walked the other direction . I made my to the
library I set in some corner and just
contemplating if I should send Sli a text or not
well disappointing it was she did not respond to
my Text maybe it was for the best . I was
disturbed by a person mumbling clicking his
tongue I could feel that some rough writing
and tearing of pages he was cursing and
making all aggravation sounds I felt this
negative feeling again the same one I felt in
class with Thami there was aggressively
clicking of the pan I looked around the tables
and notice nothing everyone was focus on the
books and studying

“ demit!! “ …they was a banging of the desk

and frustration feeling.

I stood up and looked around I probably used

to be one of the most negative person in the
world I felt like life was a continuous struggle
and I had been dealt by one of the worst hands
so I know the feeling of unbearable weight over
my shoulder of having anxiety and physiological
break down… what I feel sense and hear right
now was of a person suffering from severe
depression or posses by negative thought my
mind drifted back when I was in a state where I
saw myself as not ‘ good enough’ ‘ not lucky
as other people ‘ ‘ I can not do it ‘ I breath out
loud thinking about what I have accomplished I
mean the feeling of Thinking negatively in
general is thinking that whatever happens it is
most likely going to be the worst case scenario
the thought that you weren’t good enough?
When I use to feel that I was not good enough I
tend and ended up drowning in this emotion of
self-doubt and pity. It really relates to a low self
esteem but the truth is everyone is good
enough one way or the other . we just might
not have the skills or tools to achieve what we
want now but we are certainly good enough
and worthy of what we want. So why do we
feel that we have lose value based on what we
have done in our life. The past does not define
up but pave the path to our future .. a goal that
we need to achieve .. What would it be like if
we could imagined the best case scenario
instead .. I mean Our thoughts are very
powerful and it’s common to use visualization
as a technique to imagine the best case
scenario. Whether you imagine the worst or
the best case scenario you are influencing your
results. As much as I have Stop focusing on
what I don’t want to happen and rather on
what I want to happen it sort of gave me a
sense of belonging . I was so lost in my own
conflicted thoughts that I ended up bombing to
someone

Me : “ im sorry I was not looking where I was

going “

“ shit … fuck I’m done with this .. just done ..

nxa ! “ I shoot my eyes open it was Thami
apparently he was picking up a book on the
floor I just looked at him everything came
rushing in just by the fact that I had physical
contact with him I mean I fully understand
why his always mad angry and
unapproachable his childhood or is it
background was so dark not easy poverty and
struggle wow we turned to look at people
and do not see past of who they are but what
they are

Him : “ what !! “

I cleared my trout and looked at him he had

this most intimidating look I zoned out and
saw a crime scene he was in pool of his own
blood looked like crime went wrong I head
the person calling him to get in the car the
voice was familiar I closed my eyes trying to see
this person just to be sure when my eyes
were in contact with person behind the wheel I
dropped my phone and held my chest … no It
can not be …

“Mfethu are you ok ? … hayboo “ I felt my body

gets heavy and boom lights out … I woke up I
was in unfamiliar surroundings I looked around
and noticed school nurse making her way in

Her : “ wow you awake .. well your brother is

on her way just seat tight “

Me : “ what happened “
Her : “ you passed out this morning I’m
guessing it was low sugar level your BP was
sky high you under stress and you need to
take it easy “

Sbu budged in “ hay ntwana are you good ? “

I just looked at him I did not know what to think

how to feel … you know having that feeling that
you think you know a person but realised you
do not actually know them. I still have a why
question ? I mean Sbu is good guy well
mannered why has he got in himself into

Him: “ I’m taking you home .. the nurse told me

you need rest .. something to do with high…
high … “
I remained quiet I was still lost in my own head

Him : “ mFethu are you good can I take you to

the Dr or something ? “

I shook my head … I’m fine I was just shocked

nje and fainted I guess I was overly
overwhelmed by my vision I jumped off from
the bed Thami walked in he looked at Sbu
and than at me

Sbu : “ THAMI ! “

Him : “ sure Sbuda … and then zithini ? “

Sbu : “ incosi yasedladleni le “ ( his my little
brother )

There expression were priceless I decided to

clear my throat when I felt that a lot was being
Spoken between the two guys before me with
there eyes

Me : “ Apparently I got half day guys so can

we get going “

Thami already had my bag on his hand

Me : “ I need to talk to you two can you drive

me to your house “
They exchange looks Thami was just glad that
the principal allowed him to leave earl as well
I was not looking forward in upsetting Pam
since she home most probably sleeping as she
will be working night shift tonight so we drove
to Sbu house the drive to his house was long
and vary quite Thami was on his Phone Sbu
was too focus on the road biting his nails and
I was trying to adjust what I saw on my vision
finally the car stopped and I still get that wow
factor every time I come to Sbu house

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finally the car stopped and I still get that wow

factor every time I come to Sbu house this
house is beautiful I’m talking top billing top
houses showcase look It’s a double story glass
house with sea view every window on the
second floor has a balcony he reside in top
security gated estate I’m still just too blown
away of the modem futuristic meet Tuscan look
design of this house I looked at Thami
expression and he looked like he just saw
heaven gates opening he was busy whistling
and clapping and Sbu was busy doing those
dramatic bows
Sbu : “ thank you .. thank you.. you so very
kind… welcome to my kingdom “ I just rolled
my eyes I remember the first time I came
here and had that vary same look that Thami
has right now Sbu told me that

“Architecture is not an inspirational business.

It's a rational procedure to do sensible and
hopefully beautiful things. “ Sbu is currently
studying architect and will graduate next year
but his house spells out that his swimming in
money when i asked him how he afford to live
in this big beautiful mansion he told me that
he bought the land with his trust fund money
and used the rest to built it he used one of his
design and his plans no doubt his creativity
talented and the fact that he's not even a
graduate makes him a rich without papers
because after he built his house he received a
chain of offers for his work and people pay him
a fortune I guess my sister will be well off
should they stay in the relation till marriage

Him : “ go change and please don’t go crazy in

my closet … “: I gave him the finger and made
my way upstairs I just took track pants and
t-shirt Sbu only has minimum furniture in this
house his bedroom seating room which is just
an L shaped couch with sound system and big
plasma TV no pics no accessories or what’s
to ever the kitchen is just worse it just has
built in cupboards with essential appliances
only no wonder he spend most of his days in
my house this house is dead it need a
feminine touch
Thami : “ so does your brother know ? “

Sbu :” no … “

Thami : “ Bongani told me that will use I vura

tonight “

Sbu : “ don’t talk about that la … shit I hope this

is not what I think it is … awusho what
happened esgele ? … what happened to Trey ?
“

Thami : “ I don’t know Sbu one minute we

talking the next his on the floor “
Sbu : “ did he touch you “

Thami : “ we bumped to each other “

Sbu : “shit ! “

Thami : “ Zithini ? “

Me : “ that what I want to know as well so tell

me what you planning to do tonight ? “

Sbu cursed under his nose

Thami : “so now you ears roping on us “

Me : “ no that is what normal people do and
me my friend I don’t come with normal I have
an extraordinary gift that let me see to the
future .. Sbu my future brother in-law when
were you going to tell me about you doggy side
job “

Sbu : “ shit … “

Me: “ does pam know ?”

Sbu : “ no and I plan to keep it that way .. look

Trey you were not suppose to find out like this
“

Me : “ damit Sbu .. I trusted you .. and you lied

about what you do for a leaving “

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Him : “ I never lied .. I’m still in college

studying ..; “

Me “ and the fact that you a criminal what is

that all about “

Him : “ Trey!! … don’t paint me like that “

He stood up and started parsing around “ look
im not a criminal I do what I have to do to
make a living “

Me : “ bank robberies AT bombing …

hijacking … fraud .. embalmment … can I go on
Sbu … does that paint out as non criminal act ?
“

Thami : “ Yooh! “ he whistled

I looked at him

Thami : “ hay sani awkahle ngomsindo .. stop

acting like a bitch I mean It's not true that
'crime never pays' Some people make a lot of
money out of criminality and get away scot free
to happy and contented lives like your brother
here “

Sbu : “ ungazi ngeni T -man “

Me :” But that's not the way to bet. In most

long term criminal enterprises you have two
enemies: the law and your fellow criminals.
Most people who become 'career criminals'
end up inside and most of them only make
intermittently good money. Most of the profits
from organised crime end up in the hands of
bosses just like in industry while the low level
mooks end up living with their mothers and
dreaming of the big score … just like you “
He stood up shit where do I start or how do I
convince Thami that We all have negative
thoughts from time to time after all we are
human. When the majority of your thoughts
are negative we practically undermining our
happiness at the end of the day which may lead
to doing fucked up things . Our thoughts
directly affect how we feel and therefore what
we do in life. By doing this he just limit himself
or what is possible for him to achieve my main
consent now is how do I tell a person who was
raised in the most unhealthy conflicted
background to try and master his behaviour
and drop this life his living because my vision
showed me that he may not be too lucky like
Sbu and live a lavish lifestyle …

Thami : “ shut the fuck up you don’t know

me!! .. “

I laughed and looked at him

Me : I know that you conflicted by your

upbringing and you do what you have to do to
survive but what's messed up is that you
resorted to it because your were running away
from Healthy conflict that can provide you a
deeper understanding of people that will make
you to be vulnerable and express your true
thoughts and feelings. Which in turn can allow
you to connect more effectively with other
people because you’re able to know them at a
deeper level. It can also allow people to
understand your boundaries your morals and
your belief system. They will see what you’re
willing to stand for and what you will
compromise on. You think beating up people
and being angry ….always on a rampage to kill
will help your get over what you went through
growing up … I mean you replace love with
hate … kindness with arrogance…you kill for
fun … you're self destructing why can't you see
that about yourself you not respected but
feared … and look at you life you not even 20
already you have a trail of blood in your hands “

Thami : “ HAYI FUCK WENA MANI

UNGAZELAPHI !!!! Sbuda mfethu khuza lo cheez
boy wakini mfethu !!“

Yarrr that name fuck I hate it it always

emasculate me in all sort of levels
Sbu : “ guys please just come down look Trey I
get where you coming from this life we living is
no child play circumstances pulled us to this
life … “

I looked at him like wow .. is he justify his

action ??

Sbu : “There's no sure way to get that really

good income or job I mean I can graduate at
the top of my class but that will not lend me
that dream Job I need … and in another case
There's no sure way to get that really good
income in this line of work and don't let anyone
tell you that there is. And you also have to
accept the risks of arrest and imprisonment and
the casual violence with which the underworld
enforces the dictates of the higher up criminals
on the lower. .. it just life TREY .. there is always
50/50 chance that life can Screw you over “

Me : “ Than why you still doing it … you have all

of this “ I pointed the house .. “ you a bloody
trust fund baby why you risking it in this life …
this shit … it will not end well Sbu … whatever
Job you trying to pull … please don’t go “

Thami : “ what ? engathi usuyangibasela manje

wena !!“

Sbu :” shut up T .. what do you mean ? “

I set down “ the fidelity car you want to

hijack … there is no money in it … its a trap ..
I’m not sure who you working for but this is a
trap and they after that person whose the head
of your operation …there going to be lot of
casualties in this highst “ I looked at Thami
Sbu cursed

Him : “ Fuck .. Fuck … ! “

Thami : “ Hayboo Sbu you going to listen to

him … Yeywena who told you this …? “

Sbu : “I need to make call “

Thami :” you can not be serious amasimba

lawa ! “ sbu made his way out and I was left
with Thami and if looks could kill I will be six
feet under what have I gotten myself into I
mean I just took his only hope of leaving the
slumps and threw it on his face

Him : “ so pretty boy how do you know all of

our business .. who are you ??what are you ?
“ it came out as a whisper he set down and
looked at me

Me : “ ‘I’m a seer …”

“ what the fuck is a seer ? “

Me : “ I can see the future … past and present “

He laughed and shook his head “ so

uyisangoma somlungu … “ he bust out and
laughed ..

Me : “I know what he did to you and I know

that you allowed him to do it to you you were
trying to protect your younger brother being
a victim or rape physical and emotional abuse
can break a person but you do not have to
resort to this life of crime … this might look like
a breakthrough for you but you digging your
own grave … if you go ahead with this mission
I will confesses to the police where you burnt
and buried your stepfather body rather you rot
in jail than die today “

The word shock was nothing to the way he was

looking to me
Him : “ how do you know all this .. I never told a
soul that I killed that busted … I found him
doing what he use to do to me doing it to my
little brother … he was only 7 years old … what
kind of man was that... no Father is suppose to
hurt his children .. enough was enough … I
killed him and if given a another chance I will
do it all over gain …fuck I still want to dig up the
grave I buried him into and stab him all over
again “

I felt something unsettling when he spit out

those words it was as if he was proclaiming
the negativity and by doing so he was opening
up a portal of negative entity I knew right
there that this was what I was called for to
pull him out of the dark place that he is sinking
in unknowingly I know prayer can work with
him to empower him to fight but how do you
convince a person who has already accepted
that he has no heart and will never forgive he
has tried all means that are possible and
looking for brake trough but still drown back to
that dark dump the man who molested him
may be dead but he still much alive in his head
being a victims of such violence you may
survive it physically but mentally the trauma is
much alive and will destroy you till you lose
humanity in yourself how do you lift a person
up from there depression state and mould
them to never give up.

He already suffered dearly with Low

self-esteem growing up that part of
depression arises when we’re most vulnerable
Verbal cues are learned at a tender age and last
well into a person’s adult life. During these
formative years the child’s mind is
impressionable. If subjected to emotional and
physical abuse they’re likely to assume this role
as their main identity. Life is challenging and
being exposed to criticism makes it unbearable
especially when one is in a state of anguish
We’re unaware of what’s lurking beneath the
surface of another person until it’s too late.
We’re only exposed to their facade so it makes
sense we treat everyone with humility and
respect… do I blame him for choosing this life
as his escape no .. I can see and feel what he
went trough and I’m proud that his still
standing but I fear that his a ticking boom ready
to explode because he has bottle so much
inside that he has forgotten how to care what
life will throw at him … the worst has happened
and his given his life and selling his soul to the
dark side . having this gift can make me see the
debts of person life and I realised that he is the
older son in his family leaving with his sickly
mother that he resent and hate so much
because she turned a blind eye when he was
violated it was better him that he takes it
than his younger siblings he has made a vow to
himself to protect his sibling in whatever cost.

With no source of income to sustain the family

he resorted to this life of crime the thrill of
killing makes him feel whole his two siblings
depend on him and his hope is that he wants
them to study hard and change there fate and
brake the cycle.

Me : “ I’m sorry … I know that you wish you

past can be buried and forgotten but I just
made you relive that past “

Him : “ that man made me hate anything that

has to do with life just when I thought that
our like will pick after his dearth but we found
out that he was broke .. the house was taken by
the bank we moved to the shacks my
mother resorted to selling her body and that
lead her to HIV I was forced to patty crime to
buy bread for my siblings surprisingly I became
good at it and with this cold heart I have It
became easy to climb the crime ladder … “

He side smile or pretended to do that I just

could not tell because Thami never smiles at all
Him : “ This is what I do.. its all I know Trevor I
can not stop now .. if this is God doing for me
to get money like this than looks like my
prayers got answered if it’s the devil using me
for his evil dead than so be it because God
never listen vele “

Me : yes most of us may be raised in poverty

and may think that God is not listening when
we pray and ask for a brake trough but he is
guess what he listen because God has reasons
for the doors He opens and closes when He
opens and closes them. (Isaiah 55:8) It’s a
matter of if it’s His will and His timing to answer
a prayer.

In His perfect timing God will answer your

prayers and give you the desires of your heart.
We have to remember He is a creator God is
always in full and complete control of our lives.

So when He has you waiting you need to trust

that He has a good reason for it.

If you rush the waiting process you will actually

miss out on what God wants to do in and
through you during that time.

So the question then becomes is what you want

what you are asking for really all that good for
you?

And if the answer is yes. Do you trust God

enough to have patience until He brings it to
pass? “

He looked at me and shook his head “ I’m

done asking and bagging Trevor .. I’m just
gonna take now and fuck who thinks
otherwise … “ he clicked his tongue and stood
up
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Chapter 49
Me : “ look I get you … but I hate the fact that
you so negative … look I don’t even know what
have you tried to do to improve your situation
but all I know is that this negative thought will
only make matters worse tell me do you
believe in GOD ? “

Him : “ I need to get out of here because this

God talk is just pissing me off “

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He attempted to walk out I was not going to
allow his blood to be in my hands so I need to
try by all means to stop him from going out that
door I saw his fate and death is waiting for
him out there

Me: “ Thami .. I’m not saying that you need to

be saved or get baptised or something “

He looked and me and laughed shaking his

head great we getting somewhere now
Me : “Whether you are religious or not negative
entities don't like the name of Jesus or hearing
about the Blood of Jesus. Even people who use
dark arts and witch practitioners you must
Command them to leave in that name. The
Lord's Prayer is effective but you also need to
revoke their invitation into your life and
command them to leave your home your life
body and soul You should be firm in your
intention … “

He folded his arms and looked at me grate he is

a non believer …

Him : “ kahle kahle uyangishumayeza now …

and not so long ago you told me that you seer
an English Sangoma precise “

Ooh boy now I need to figure out how this will

work I mean What does it take to begin a
relationship with God? Devote yourself to
unselfish religious deeds? Become a better
person so that God will accept you? You may be
surprised that none of those things will work to
a non believer . But God has made it very clear
in the Bible how we can know Him .. now it’s a
matter of how we pass on the massage to his
people who believe he does not exist We
were created to have fellowship with God but
because of our stubborn self-will we chose to
go our own independent way and fellowship
with God was broken. This self-will
characterized by an attitude of active rebellion
or passive indifference is evidence of what the
Bible calls sin.

Him : “ what?? cat got your tongue “

I stood up looked at him what was more

puzzling is that his still standing in front of me
and not moving wasn’t his intention not so
long ago to leave me high and dry and take my
advice and shove it. Reality is that now i am I
really going to debate with him to change his
beliefs? My main purpose now is to pass on the
God's word and if he has ear he will listen it
might not be today but it maybe Someday
hopefully I understand that poverty can drive
a man or any person of that matter to do the
most inappropriate thing just to survive
Thami’s life of crime was triggered by his
emotions unstable life and background he
was forced to be something he's not which
led him to mentally destruct there was this
huge conflict in his head that made him believe
that he will never amount to anything .

Me : “ I’m not going to preach at all I’m not a

priest no a prophet but I can feel the pain in the
debt of your soul I can only offer to help but i
can not force to help to you all I know is that
you as much of a victim in this situation than
bad person you paint yourself to be “

Him : “ you Know nothing about my life man

and if you know what best for you you will
get out of my head “
Me : “ I thought we pass that stage … look at
you all emotional and negative imbalance has
made you unstable person .. look Whatever you
believe will become your reality trust me it's
true the way You shape your future every day
by the choices you make and your habits You
can sabotage your opportunities by limiting
your thoughts. Have you ever thought What
would it be like if you believe that you could do
what you really desire and have the
experiences you wish instead? It is not about
getting it right the first time but trying. Don’t
stop yourself before you have even given
yourself a chance. .. all I can see and feel is that
the rout you want to take will lead you to your
early grave“
Him : “ I rather die trying … “

Me : “The wages of sin is death earthier way ”

He laughed “ I was killed long time ago what

you see right now is just leaving corpse do you
get that I do what I do because my life was
striped away from me in the most unbearable
way ever … “

I cut him off because I know and feel what he

went trough

Me : “everyone who have survived trauma

know well the feeling of the broken spirit. The
loss of faith that comes with having your belief
system ripped out from under you. … In
situations of terror people spontaneously seek
their first source of comfort and protection.
Wounded soldiers and raped victims cry for
their mothers or for God. When this cry is not
answered the sense of basic trust is shattered.
Traumatized people feel utterly abandoned
utterly alone cast out of the human and divine
systems of care and protection that sustain life.
There is nothing more profoundly despairing
than that feeling To feel abandoned by the
Divine spirit or a person that you taught you
can rely on its a trauma on its itself and leads to
the disconnection of humanity and worse faith
“

he set down and placed his head on his hands

me : “it is important to distinguish between
faith and belief. Beliefs are products of our
minds They are decisions we have made
constructs we have formed to make sense of
our world for instance We believe in God in
certain people in certain relationship and with
Faith is a product of the spirit Faith is the
abstract knowing that the Divine is constant.
When there is a crack in that knowing

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 Faith is the abstract knowing that the Divine is
constant. When there is a crack in that knowing
what can heal it? When there is a tear in the
fabric of faith what will mend it?
Him : “ it's just hard .. and I do not want to
relive what happened to me … I inflict pain to
others to try and take away the pain inside of
me .. “

Me : “ I feel you but It is a fact of life that we

will experience pain time and time again – pain
changes people. It may take a while for the pain
to leave your body and your heart or it may be
engraved inside of you forever but I realized
that every time I experienced unbearable pain I
changed significantly – try to changed for the
better then. There is something about going
through a lot of pain that makes you want to be
a good human being .. never allow emotion of
rage and anger to define the pain you went
trough because end of the day An eye for
an eye will leave everyone blind. “

He breath out loud and looked at me with

bloodshot eyes finally I’m abler to see a
venerable boy in those eyes the dark evil
forces that was clouding him is slowly lifted off

Me : “ "It is easier to hurt than to heal Inflicting

pain on others to get revenge when you've
been hurt might initially seem fulfilling but it
only ends up stoking a bigger fire in your heart
“

The door swung open and a tall white guy

walked in his presence screamed respect he
was wearing his formal suite and his cologne
was too overpowering he lifted his eyes from
his phone and looked at us

Him : “where is Sbusiso ??“

I was about to tell him to get off he was too

bloody arrogant and who budge in to someone
house and not greet people seated but Sbu
showed up

Sbu : “ good you here … let's talk in my study “

The guy walked pass us Sbu looked at us

Sbu : “konje you attend the same class right ? “

I nodded

Sbu : “ I believe that exams are around the

corner get on with studying I order food for
later will talk when I’m done with this
meeting “

Thami : “ what !… this is bull shit “

Sbu : “ well boy I don’t see no bull and no shit in

my house … so get on with it “ Sbu’s face can
change instantly and right now he look like he is
not taking crap for either me or Thami he was
looking at us with that look that say ‘ try me ‘

Him : “ so what’s going to be “

Thami just looked down wow I smell defeat ..

Him : “ I thought as much … “ he walked out

and living us looking like wet dogs the minute
he disappeared Thami clicked his tongueI just
shook my head and slouched back on the couch
and looked at Thami who was standing up and
looking all kind of being pissed

Him : “ are you going to look at me the whole

day pretty boy ?? “

I just laughed and reached out for my backpack

Me : “ you seem bothered .. what eating you

up ? “ I remembered that he was a bit
conflicted in the library and he was studying or
had an IT Textbook in his hand maybe I can try
and get to him by offering to help him with that
subject fuck Thami is just too intimidating I
mean this guy is tall not to buff but just dark
and scary and right now I feel like I’m going to
get whipt you know my calling get me into
unwanted trouble all the time

Me : “ I’m sorry to be all up in your space but

dud can you cut it out with this aggressive and
hate look you look like the hulk ready to
smash and beat up anybody who cross your
path .. “

He laughed and shook his head “ uthini ?? “ he

change his expression and frowned I also shoot
him a died steer as well

Him : “ you look constipated right now … stop

whatever you trying to do with your face “ we
bust out and laughed

Me : “ fuck you .. come on let's study … before I

start preaching again “

Him : “ I rather die .. he took his bag and took

out his book “

I looked at him and felt sense of fulfilment you

know when you do good by someone you not
only saving one person but a nation instead I
fully understand now that If you have survived
a trauma you were likely helped if not
immediately after or soon after it had
happened but eventually help will come it can
be anybody that can pull you out of that dark
hole and make you realise that it was not your
fault it was not your fait it was not God's
doing Life is a series of problem and solving
opportunities. The problems you face will
either defeat you or develop you - depending
on how you respond to them. Unfortunately
most people fail to see how God wants to use
problems for good in their lives They react
foolishly and resent their problems rather than
pausing to consider what benefit they might
bring. God uses trauma / pain / struggle /
financial chains / heartbreak and lot of list of
things that can break you the list is endless
and the creator used this elements to PERFECT
you when responded to correctly and this may
be outstanding character builders in your life.
God is far more interested in your character
than your comfort. Your relationship to God
and your character are the only two things
you're going to take with you into eternity.

Me : “ stop that it annoying and distracting “ he

was busy doing the pan flicking thing and
mumbling on whatever his reading

Him : “ you pissing me off pretty boy .. besides I

can not seem to undusted this equation “

Me : “ let me see “ he looked at me and was

reluctant but eventually gave in I looked at him
smiled It all started with me seeing his fate
and what the devil wanted and convinced him
was right while it was so wrong I cleared saw
after that that he was the one that allowed
the devil in his heat to destroy him even more
due to his past experience emotional this guy
is broken and need professional help but if he
still has negative thoughts he can never
accomplish anything . my intention was not to
make him a born again Christian because No
matter how hard we try or how many
arguments we present ultimately only God can
persuade a person that the Gospel is true. Jesus
said “No one can come to me unless the Father
who sent me draws him” (John 6:44). but all I
wanted to tell him or help him understand is
that everything that we face does not destroy
us but make us stronger Emotional or
physical pain does not make you stronger.
Whatever doesn't kill you will leave you weaker
and more vulnerable to attack. If you are
distressed it is a call to action I’m just glad that I
was here when God and his ancestors called on
me to intervene in his life.

.
Daliy new AFrican novels download here
www.ebookscat.com

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