What Even Is Gender?

Or, A Quickish Guide to Thinking and Talking

Differently About Gender
An important preface

Hello! I’m not an expert!

I get this stuff wrong, too, but I keep

trying and keep learning.

A lot of trans and non-binary people have

very different experiences and perspectives
on this.

Language is always evolving.

Different people use different terminology

for themselves, and you should always use the
language someone uses for themselves.

Don’t make assumptions.

Reid Lewis (they/them)

An important historical note on sex, gender, and race

Our binary ideas of sex & gender

that we’re most familiar with are
rooted in eugenics and white
supremacy. Yes, really.

Artist & speaker ALOK has been

curating a book report series that
explores this on their Instagram:

@alokvmenon
Why am I talking
about this?
Terminology
Binaries are for computers
Cis vs. Trans

Cisgender: Transgender:

● A person’s gender identity ● A person’s gender identity does

aligns with the sex that they not align with the sex that
were assigned at birth they were assigned at birth
● Sometimes shortened to “cis” ● Sometimes shortened to “trans”
● An aspect of gender experience ● An aspect of gender experience
What is sex?

Sex is NOT: Sex IS:

● Binary ● A complex collection of factors

● Simple
● Immutable
● Gender
● Something you can know about
someone else without them
telling you (yes, really)
that are used to simplify
grouping people’s physical
bodies into a false binary
● Assigned based on only one of
those many factors: external
physical appearance at birth
● Weaponized against intersex
folks & trans folks, and is
racialized in society
● Something that can be changed
What is gender?

Gender is NOT: Gender IS:

● Pronouns ● A sense of self that may or may

● Legal sex (whether assigned at
birth or not)
● Perceived sex
● Perceived gender expression
○ For example: masculine,
feminine, androgynous, etc.
not be expressed externally
through a variety of means
● Static for some folks, but also
may change over time for others
or be naturally fluid
● Only something you can know
about a person if they share it
with you
Different terms for sex and gender

Common terms for sex: Some common terms for gender:

● Male ● Man
● Female ● Woman
● Intersex ● Demi-girl
● Demi-boy
These are typically medical terms ● Non-binary
and should not be used to refer to ● Genderqueer
people or groups of people without ● Neutrois
their consent. ● Agender

There are many, many other terms in

addition to these as well.
Assigned sex at birth

“Assigned sex at birth” is a common But there’s also been some

way of refering to the sex someone discussion that even this may be a
was assigned at birth: harmful false binary, and may in
fact reinforce cissexism and
● Assigned female at birth (AFAB)
transmisogyny.
● Assigned male at birth (AMAB)
It’s a conversation that is still
This has been seen as helpful to
evolving but is important to be
some to group people by those
aware of.
perceived shared experiences.
But wait a second…
are sex and gender
just another harmful
false binary?
Sex vs. Gender
Sex vs. Gender
So what do we do???
Practice consent!
Spectrums & Models for Conceptualizing Gender
What we think a spectrum is...
What a spectrum really is...
Gender as a galaxy
Ways to Talk More Inclusively About Gender
Don't make
assumptions.
Unless you are a
medical provider where
it is medically relevant,
“sex” does not matter.
Use inclusive
language when
talking about groups
of people.
Pronouns are the most
relevant information you
need to know to interact
with others. And they
still don’t tell you
someone’s gender.
If you genuinely need
to know someone’s
gender, ask them.
Trans women are women.

Trans men are men.

You can be a man or
woman AND be
non-binary,
genderqueer, etc.
Gender outside of the
binary cannot be
distilled to the idea of
“non-binary” alone.
Learn to identify trans
exclusionary language
and arguments.
Allyship requires
action.
Additional Resources
Continuing the conversation
Books on Gender
Books on Race & Gender
Intersex Organizations
The End