1

THE AGOUTI’S TALE

ANANCY: (Pretending) Aright! You eh hear the news and it
Anancy, the Spider doh look like you interested. I gone. Leh me go and tell
Compere Dog Compere Goat about the big fete it having.
Compere Agouti
Compere Crow DOG: (Interested) Wait nah. Compere Anancy. A.A!
Narrator
ANANCY: You eh sounding like you want to hear 'bout it.

NARRATOR DOG: Who say that!

Once upon a time! Yeh, 'once upon a time’. Ah start off with
that because is so them story does start, especially them long
time story. And this is a long tine story from long, long time,
although it have plenty now-a-days meaning and thing. So Ah
could also say like the Paul Keens fella "Tim Tim" and wait
for all-you to say 'basham' or 'papa welcome' or 'crick crack'
or whatever else it have for all you to say. So! Once upon a
time it had a fella name Anancy. Now Anancy was a... a...
well he was all kind of thing. He was a spider, yeh; he was a
spider just like the kind in your bedroom in the night,
spinning web and ketching fly and nastying the place and
thing. Yeh, long before this Spiderman you does read 'bout in
the comic book or you does see sometime on TV, long before
that. You could call Anancy the first spider hero, a kind of
original spiderman.
And he was a kind of God too, from we forefathers time.
Anancy was a symbol for the God of the Ashanti people. So
he was a kind of spider man and a kind of spider God. Two
thing in one. Man and God. But more important he was a
smart man, a real trickster, a con man outsmarting all the
other animals in the forest and all the people in the village,
even though they all bigger than he. Because you see,
although Anancy was real small, he was smart, talk 'bout
brains! Ha ya yai! And on top of that Anancy coulda turn
from spider into man, human being, anytime he want. So
when Anancy on the move is real, real trouble, papa, real
trouble. You know how much young woman Anancy fool.
Hmm! Anancy use to outsmart everybody - man, woman,
child, elephant, lion, tiger, goat and dog. Wait! Wait! What
going on! Is a play we come to do. Look Ah talking too much.
Play, man, play!
ANANCY: The way you carrying on I say you eh want to
hear.
DOG: All I say is leave meh woman out of this. I never say I
eh want to hear
ANANCY: When you ready you so cantankerous man,
Compere Dog, I doesn't want to let you in on nothing. Hm!
DOG: (Threatening) Look if you know what good for you!
ANANCY: Aright, you eh have to get hot over it. After all
man, after all. (Submitting) The news come early this morning.
Cow having a party down on Bird Island. And he invite
special guest and thing. So this eh no kind of rangotango
affair. Only for special chosen few.
DOG: (Concerned) Special few? So what about...
ANANCY: Listen nah man. The thing is Cow say you could
invite a friend. And Ah mean Ah get invited, special like, you
know, special like.
DOG: They invite you, Anancy!
ANANCY: (Warming) Yes man. You eh listening to me o'
what?
DOG: They invite you Anancy?
ANANCY: (Enjoying) What happen, man. Like you record
stick.

DOG: (vexed) They invite you. How they could invite you!
SCENE 1
(Anancy approaches the sleeping Compere Dog)
ANANCY: (Showing off) But Ah just explain.
ANANCY: (Excited) Compere Dog! Compere Dog! You eh
DOG: Anancy wait! You and Compere Cow is friend?
hear the news!
ANANCY: No! Not really.
DOG: (Awaking) News! News! News? Compere Anancy.
Hmm! News?
DOG: You and he children is friend?
ANANCY: Big news man, Compere Dog. I surprised you eh
ANANCY: No but what you...
hear. Everybody in the village done hear. Is big thing Man, big
thing.
DOG: Wait! Wait! You and he Madam is friend?
DOG: (Still confused) Big thing! Big thing!
ANANCY: No.
ANANCY: (Serious)Yes man. Compere Owl bring the story
DOG: And just so he ups 'bap' and invite you?
early this morning. A ‘proclamation’ he call it. Serious thing
man. Ha! Ha! Like this woman you pick up really have you
ANANCY: (Pretend hurt) So you feel I lying Compere Dog.
dotish for true. Ha! Ha!
You make me shame. You really make me shame.
DOG: (Threatening) Leave my woman out of this, Anancy!
DOG: (Disbelief) They invite you Anancy?
ANANCY: (Hurt) Aright! Aright! You eh have to get on so.
ANANCY: (Sternly) Look if you want I eh go finish tell you.
DOG: I ‘fraid you, yes Compere Anancy, I ‘fraid you!
DOG: (Bewildered) Ah mean I is a man do so much a thing for
Compere Cow and he invite Anancy.
ANANCY: Hmm! Look at you eh. I is yuh real boy, you doing
as if you eh know me, man.
ANANCY: Look I eh able with you, nah. Ah Ha! Agouti
coming. Ask Compere Agouti. Ask him if is not true. Ask
DOG: (Angry) Just leave meh woman out of this, Anancy!
him. You make me shame.

(Enter Agouti, prim and proper)
AGOUTI: (From afar) What! What are you calling my name
for Anancy?
ANANCY: I telling Compere Dog here that it having a big
party on Bird Island, fete for so, music like peas, food like
rain, woman, man, all kind of freeness. And Compere Dog
doh want to believe I get invited. Tell him 'Gouti, tell him!
AGOUTI: Yes, Compere Dog. It's true. Anancy told me so
this morning. Seal of approval, man.
ANANCY: (Vindicated) Tell him, Compere, tell him!
AGOUTI: Special invite, formal invitation, for Mister Anancy,
mind you, RSVP and all that.
DOG: I doh understand. What Anancy do to deserve this?
ANANCY: (Exulting) Anancy is Anancy, man. How you go
have fete without Anancy. And they even tell me I could invite
whoever friend I want.
AGOUTI: Well, who are you inviting Compere Anancy?
ANANCY: Who you think!
AGOUTI: Compere Lion, nah!
ANANCY: (Dismissing) Compere Lion! You know I and
Compere Lion is friend!
AGOUTI: That's nothing, but if you invite him, you are his
friend from now on. You have no worries about him again.
ANANCY: (Strutting) Nah man. I could deal with Lion
anytime.
AGOUTI: What about Compere Elephant. He saved your life
once. Or better yet Compere Tiger. Make friend with him.
He’s still vex with you for the time you embarrassed him in
front of Lady Jane and her daughters.
ANANCY: Nah man, what kind a man you think I is. Dog,
you is my best partner. How long I know you, eh, tell me. Eh!
Tell me! Is long years man, long years.
DOG: (Understanding) So is me you invite, Anancy?
ANANCY: Yes, man.
AGOUTI: (Surprised) Is Dog you invite, Anancy?
ANANCY: (Bursting) A.A!
AGOUTI: To the party with all that bacchanal.
DOG: (In disbelief) He invite me!
AGOUTI: Wine, woman and song, fete till morning.
ANANCY: Yes.
DOG: (Still in shock) And he invite me.
AGOUTI: Best music in the land, Compere Gazelle on the
saxophone, Compere sheep on the violin. (Doing a step or
two) Ra ti ray ti ray ti ray.
DOG: And he invite me!
ANANCY: What happen Dog, you eh want to go?
DOG: (Advancing on Anancy) I doh trust you Anancy. I doh
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trust you at all.
AGOUTI: What do you mean Compere Dog?
DOG: He have something up he sleeve, man. Anancy is a
dangerous fella when come to that.
ANANCY: (Pretend hurt) Look how I does get wrong
innocent, innocent eh! I leave whey I living...
AGOUTI: Compere Anancy is right, you know Compere Dog.
He invited you to the party. He could have invited anybody
else but he invited you. Appreciation and gratitude man.
Anancy act like a man of valour and consideration, a fine
fellow, Compere Dog.
DOG: (Shocked) Wait! Wait! What we talking ‘bout? The
party on Bird Island? Tell me Agouti. (Lost in thought) Down
the islands on the boat sailing peacefully down the channel to
the gentle sounds of the evening breeze. Is that party you
talking
'bout?
AGOUTI: Yes. I suppose so, Compere Dog.
DOG: (Eyes closed) And when we reach down they, is free
food
and plenty thing to drink?
AGOUTI: Yes, that’s it, Compere Dog.
DOG: Eh! Tell me, Agouti. Dancing in the moonlight under
the stars. And I on meh toes with grace and charm.
ANANCY: Yes! Yes! Party father Compere Dog.
DOG: And music like you in heaven! Eh! Flute and drum,
saxophone and violin?
AGOUTI: Yes.
ANANCY: (Excited) And pan. Doh forget pan, Compere Dog.
DOG: And the nicest set of woman in this village, eh, in the
whole Island, like if God self send he own daughters to earth.
And you know how I like meh woman.
ANANCY: All that Dog, party of the year.
DOG: Hmm! And Anancy invite me.
ANANCY: Yes
DOG: (Frustrated) You see, I doh trust you Anancy, I doh
trust you at all. If ... if ... if Ah had meh way, Ah end yuh life
here with one bite.
ANANCY: (Deflated) I is a bad lucky man, a real bad lucky
man.
DOG: After all the thing Anancy do me before. You think I
should trust he. Anancy make me look like a fool so much
time. You feel I should trust he, eh, you self Compere Agouti.
(Enter Compere Crow)
CROW: You right Compere Dog. Anancy eh tell you the
whole truth.
ANANCY: Who say that?
CROW: Is me… Compere Crow.
ANANCY: Compere Crow! You calling me a liar?
CROW: Yes. Anancy, you smart son of a good-for-nothing.

You eh tell Compere Dog and them that you eh really get
invited.
ANANCY: Look man I have proof you know. I have for...
for... (Floundering) How you say it Compere Agouti?
AGOUTI: Formal invitation, special guest of honour.
ANANCY: Yes, I have formal invitation and...and so on.
CROW: Doh bother with that. Tell them what Compere Cow
really say. Tell them the party is only for animal with horn.
AGOUTI: With what?
CROW: (Shouting) With horn! Only animal with horn getting
to go. If you think Ah lie, ask Compere Goat. Blaaaa! Ask
Compere Bull. Mooooo!
DOG: That is true, Anancy? Eh? Eh?
ANANCY: (Backing down) Well, Oh gosh Compere Dog.
That is something Ah was meaning to talk to you about. Ah…
Ah know how you good with your hands so Ah say... well...
we could organise some horn. Ah mean Dog that eh no
problem for you.
DOG: You see what Ah saying. I should end your life with one
bite as if Ah biting a piece of bone, just so!
ANANCY: Compere Dog, man. Doh get so vex. Is you I was
studying. Ah know how you like your fete and when
Compere Cow say is only for people with horn, Ah say meh
partner Dog go have to miss out on that, so Ah say well...
CROW: (Warning) Go ahead and follow Anancy and see if
all-you eh get in trouble
DOG: Trouble! If Anancy know what good for him…
ANANCY: Compere Dog, cool it nah man. Come Compere
Agouti, I sure you want to go to Bird Island too. I sure.
AGOUTI: Of course, Compere Anancy, but I am afraid that I
do not want any part of this proposed deception. It would
certainly go against my honour and principles.
CROW: Tell them, Agouti. I know you would never let that
smart man fool you. You have brains you see you they.
ANANCY: Hush nah, Crow. Why you doh mind your own
business.
CROW: You see me, I gone, yes. I flying down to Bird Island
with meh family. Ah bound to see when Anancy get all-you in
trouble. Ha! Ha! Caw! Caw! (Flies off)
ANANCY: Come on Compere Agouti, I inviting you too.
Compere Dog go make three set of horn and we going down
the Island and enjoy we self.
AGOUTI: I don't know, Anancy. False deceptions always lead
to tragedy.
ANANCY: Dog, wha’ you saying, eh? You going or you eh
going?
DOG: Hmm! I like meh fete, yes. I willing to try a thing.
(Gathering himself) But I warning you, Anancy, if anything go
wrong. Hmm! Nothing better go wrong.
ANANCY: Oh gosh, man. You know me. Next week Monday
this time, everything over and we laughing at how we
outsmart Compere Cow and them. Come on 'Gouti, leh we go
and organise. All of we in this together. One for all and all
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for one.
SCENE 2
(Compere Dog finishing the horns, Anancy excited. Agouti
reserved)
ANANCY: How the horns going Compere Dog? Eh? Eh?
DOG: (Proudly) When I finish with this. Hmm! Cow
wouldn't
know you from he own father.
ANANCY: I know I could depend on you. I know that man.
DOG: (Holding up the horns) Yes, this is boss work. You eh
see nothing like this for a long time.
ANANCY: I know that! When Dog put he mind to something,
hmm! What you saying now, Agouti?
AGOUTI: I don't know. I must say that the horns are really
pieces of art, works of sheer genius. I dare say that Compere
Dog has really outdone himself this time. In these mere
projections one can see the result of a brilliant mind. It is the
equal of a George Bailey, the envy of a Minshall, the
conquering spirit of a... a... a Leroy Clarke. A designers'
dream.
DOG: (Confused) What!
ANANCY: Doh bother with Agouti. That is he roundabout
way of saying ‘it good’
DOG: Oh!
AGOUTI: (ruefully) Yes. But I am afraid that I still do not
relish the idea of trying to deceive Compere Cow. You know
the type of temper he has. You remember what he did to
Compere Tiger once, fearless as he himself is.
ANANCY: Doh worry Compere. When that music start to
play you forget all 'bout Cow.
AGOUTI: I do hope so. My reluctance is only overshadowed
by my love for good music.
DOG: Doh worry! You eh see Anancy eh worrying and he and
Cow is big enemy.
ANANCY: Is not that me and Cow is enemy, you know but I
doh like how he move they. Who tell Cow throw fete for
animal with horn alone. Is bias he bias man, downright racial.
If I have money and I throw a party, I invite everybody. You
think I inviting people with horn alone, or people with beak
alone, or with… with...whatever. Is racial Cow racial man. I
feel I is to start calling he 'Apartheid Cow' instead of
‘Compere Cow’.
DOG: Ha! Ha! You eh bet you good, nah. 'Apartheid Cow'.
You only vex because he eh really invite you. When the fox
couldn’t get the grapes...
ANANCY: Nah man. I really eh like how Cow move they.
AGOUTI: The trouble with you Anancy, is that the cancer of
deception and trickery, the disease of ‘conmanship’ has taken
a deep hold on you. You can't resist the opportunity to pull one
over on Cow.
ANANCY: All you think is joke I making. Is a prestige thing,
man. Cow forget we from the same ship, we on the same trip.
AGOUTI: Hmm! Anancy waxing philosophical, quoting big
writer and so on.

DOG: Forget Anancy. Come and try on this one. (Dog puts
horn on Agouti’s head) Yes. (Mock admiration) You ever see
Agouti with horn. If you stand up on your hind leg, they take
you for one of Compere Cow long lost pumpkin vine family.
AGOUTI: Who is that?
DOG: Yes man, Compere Buffalo or Compere Bison or one of
them. All you want now is a ‘lil more fur and you is Compere
Buffalo in print.
ANANCY: (Carried away by the moment) Ah cyah wait! Ah
done start to practice meh goat voice already. (Snatching the
horns from Agouti’s head and imitating) Blaa! Blaa! Is me,
Compere Goat. Blaa! Blaa! Long time no see. How is the
madam and children? Blaa!
AGOUTI: We can't go as any of the other animals with horns.
Cow is sure to know that it is not his family. We can't go as
goat or ram or sheep or any of those.
DOG: And Anancy too small to be buffalo or even Compere
Rhinoceros.
AGOUTI: Or Compere Elephant. He has horns or a type of
horn anyway.
ANANCY: Doh bother with that. Whey you see Cow getting
old and grey, he eh have time to make no big check. Cow go
be just checking for horn. He eh go care if it big, small, thin,
fat, as long as you have horn, you safe. You could say we
going to a horn party, old horn, straight horn, curl horn,
pointed horn, horn for so! And when we reach they is more
horn - flute, bugle, sax, trombone, even shoe horn.
DOG: (Enjoying) And the way some of them high class
animal is, it might even have some hornaman too.
ANANCY: The amount of horn it go have down they, when
fete start and man start to jump, it go be like a Carnival band
with standards and thing going across the Savannah.
DOG: Come Anancy, doh get carried away. Hand me that
piece of sandpaper let me finish polish this horn for you.
‘Cause next thing when you down on Bird Island making
merry, somebody home by Madam Anancy and is horn for
you. Look Compere Crow coming. You know how she fast
and makocious. Change the subject.
(Crow files in)
ANANCY: How you going they Compere Crow?
CROW: I well and fine Comperes. I see like all-you...
AGOUTI: And how is the family?
CROW: The family good man. I was just passing and Ah see
like all-you...
DOG: You check out the field down by Farmer Brown? One
set a’ ripe fig.
CROW: Yeh man. Ah hear 'bout that. Ah passing they later.
So what all-you doing they?
ANANCY: Nothing man.
CROW: So what it is Dog polishing they?
ANANCY: What! Oh that! That is a present for Compere
Agouti sister-in-law. Is she birthday next week, you know.
CROW: You have sister-in-law, Agouti! But I didn't know
'bout the wedding.
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AGOUTI: Eh? Wedding? What wedd ... (Now catching on)
Oh! Was a quiet thing. Only the close family.
CROW: Well yes! Ah must tell Compere Duck later. When
she hear 'bout that she go be real surprised. Just yesterday we
saying that it look like Compere Agouti go never get married.
And now…Ah going and tell Duck now. Ah gone. (Moves
off)
ANANCY: Aright! Fly safe. (Visible sighs of relief all round)
CROW: (Returning) Let me see the present, nah. Wha' it is?
DOG: Oh gosh Crow, you eh bet yuh fast nah.
CROW: Fast! How you could say I fast. I must find out. How
it go look when I telling Compere Duck and them 'bout the
wedding and I cyah give them all the details.
DOG: (Holding up horns upside down) Watch it good. What it
looking like?
CROW: (Bemused) I eh know. Wait! Wait! Doh tell me. Is ...
is ... is ... a
ANANCY: Is a surprise. That is what it is.
DOG: Yes, is a surprise. You satisfied?
CROW: (Believing) A surprise? Yeh. That really good. But
what it name?
ANANCY: (Caught) Name? It eh have name man.
CROW: A surprise without a name. But Ah find it looking
like something Ah know. It resemble something. If Ah didn't
know Ah would say it resemble two horn. Ent Compere? The
only thing is nobody eh go make a horn for a present.
(Stronger) Ent is a horn Compere, ent?
ANANCY: Nah man.
CROW: Then wha' it is?
(All three reply together)
AGOUTI: A hat.
ANANCY: A clock.
DOG: A rack.
CROW: Doh bother with all-you. Is horn. Is horn all-you
making. What all-you making horn for. Eh?
ANANCY: (Angrily) What people does make horn for? Not
for decoration?
CROW: (Convinced) All-you making horn to go the party on
Bird Island?
ALL THREE: No!
CROW: Yes! If Compere Cow find out, he butting you
overboard one time. I well remember the time when Cow and
Compere Duck had big fall out.
DOG: (Advancing) Look Crow, you come here to bring a
message or you come here to run your mouth!
CROW: (Crestfallen) I only trying to warn all you.
DOG: Crow, you talking too much. When these horns finish it
eh have no way Cow could find out. You ever hear 'bout
camouflage? That is what they does use in war. The enemy
cyah see you at all, till it too late.
ANANCY: He playing he eh know. You could make out police
from thief Carnival Day?
AGOUTI: (Contributing) When the horns are donned, foe will
become friend. When the mask face goes on, the masquerader
comes out and the mas’ start, man does be woman, child does

look like big person, poor tail man does become king and
good, good woman does play jammette.
DOG: If they eh talk to you, you eh recognise your own
mother.
CROW: All-you you feel Cow go fall for that. When all-you
reach on that boat, he inspecting all-you like if is
Independence Day parade.
AGOUTI: No fear for that, Compere Crow. That's one hell of
a thing, you know Crow. You won't believe that the woman
misbehaving in a vulgar fashion when the music play is the
same next door neighbour who can't open her mouth to say
‘morning’. You can't tell who’s behind the mask, who’s
underneath the costume. You seeing dragon, bat, sailor, fancy
Indian and Pierrot Grenade. This time is policeman, teacher,
politician, nurse, even priest.
CROW: I play a mas’ once and what you saying is true. I stop
and talking to Compere Hen. We talk, talk, talk. You know is
only when I call she by name and tell she who it is, that she
know is me.
ALL THREE: You see, the same thing we saying.
DOG: The only way for Cow to find out is if somebody tell
him.
CROW: Not me.
DOG: Better be 'not you', else!
CROW: Oh gosh, Compere. You know I does mind people
business?
DOG: Doh feel because you could fly you could get away.
Doh matter whey you go I coming for you, all in the sky and
all.
AGOUTI: Yes. Something my grandmother always says,
‘When time to die, even the highest flying birds must return to
the ground’.
CROW: What I go tell Compere Cow for? Is not my business.
DOG: If Cow done know when we reach the boat, and
anything happen, Ah coming for you one time.
CROW: Watch me and see if somebody else eh tell.
ANANCY: (Quickly) Who else go tell?
CROW: All-you playing stupid! Play all-you doh know who I
talking 'bout.
ANANCY: Doh watch me!
AGOUTI: Not me!
ANANCY: I know is me you watching. You wouldn't say is
Compere Owl. He always they night and day, pretending he
sleeping, seeing everything wha' going on.
CROW: I have nothing else to say. (Flies off)
AGOUTI: Certainly you don't expect me to...
ANANCY: (Pleading) Not me, Compere, not me.
DOG: (Threatening) It better had be none of all-you.
NARRATOR: So you see what happen. Just so without rhyme
or reason, without warning, though with a few words, Crow
sow the seeds of mistrust and confusion in the minds of Dog
and Agouti. They watch each other, forget they long-standing
friend ship and a slow-affecting poison begin to take over they
minds. And although they go about their preparations as usual
5
they just waiting for a chance to explode. You wondering why
I eh say 'and Anancy too'. Well that is the easiest part. Ah
sure you suspect by now that Anancy plan was to get to Bird
Island and it wouldn't bother Compere Mister Spider one bit to
sell out Dog and Agouti if that was the best way of covering
he tracks, of convincing Cow that he, Anancy, is a real
genuine horn animal. Anyway, as the mark buss, as the old
people does say, Anancy and them make the horn, reach down
by the jetty whey the boat was to sail, reach on the boat and is
they the bacchanal really start. Nobody eh know how Cow
find out or when Cow find out but the next thing you know is
man getting throw off and... Look before you think I
want to take over the story. Watch!
SCENE 3
(Agouti and Dog emerge, dripping wet)
AGOUTI: Ooh! Give me a hand Compere, ooh!
DOG: (More embarrassed than anything) When I get meh
hand on Crow, she dead, dead, dead!
AGOUTI: I'm so cold. I've never been so embarrassed in all
my life.
DOG: Ah killing she dead. Ah doh care what she say. She
cyah say Ah didn't warn she.
AGOUTI: It was not the mere fact of being found out, but the
rather unceremonious way that Compere Cow dispatched us.
Made us walk the plank in front of everyone. Hmm! So
embarrassing!
DOG: Crow! Crow! Compere Crow! Whey you? Today, today
you dead.
AGOUTI: Don't waste your breath Compere. Crow is
probably flying down to Bird Island this very moment.
DOG: (Overflowing) She could fly in hell. She cyah get away.
AGOUTI: Ooh! I know I never should have taken part in this
scheme of foolish deception. All I want is get out of this wet
clothes and...
DOG: And when I ketch Cow he self. Hmm! Playing he
butting me, I know just the way to deal with he.
AGOUTI: How humiliating! (Crow flies in)
CROW: Aye! Comperes. What all-you doing they? I say
all-you heading for the party all now. I flying down now. I just
pass to see…
DOG: Doh play you eh know what happen nah. Is me and you
today.
CROW: What happen? How all-you looking wet so. All-you
was ... (Dawning) Ohhh, Cow find out?
DOG: And you tell him, with yuh fast self.
CROW: Me? Not me at all. Since I leave all-you, me eh pass
no whey by Cow. I warn all-you. Now you want to blame me.
Eh! And whey Anancy?
AGOUTI: Anancy?
DOG: Anancy?
CROW: Hear them. (Mimicking) ‘Anancy’. As if they never
hear 'bout he.
AGOUTI: Oh dear me. I hope the poor fellow was not injured

when he was kicked eh... fell overboard or worse, drowned.
DOG: Doh bother with that. Anancy could swim. And to
besides if anything happen to him, it damn good. Thinking up
this stupidness in the first place. If he dead, he dead.
CROW: (Crowing) Well yes. 'Anancy injured', ‘fall
overboard’, ‘dead'. All-you so stupid. Anancy on the boat,
Ah bet you. Who you think must be tell Cow. All-you here
worrying and Anancy going down the Island happy as ever.
DOG: (Outraged) What?
AGOUTI: That can't be
CROW: If you feel I joking. Look! Climb up on that rock and
look. Your eyes good Agouti. Tell Dog. Tell Dog who is that
sit down in the back of the boat.
AGOUTI: (Climbing up and looking) But it can't be.
CROW: You let me down Compere, so long all-you know
Anancy.
DOG: Who it is? Is he?
AGOUTI: I am afraid it looks so.
CROW: What Ah tell all-you
DOG: Hm! When I get meh hands on Anancy. He dead for
true this time.
AGOUTI: I am afraid it must wait at least until he returns
from Bird Island
DOG: That is what you think. I going for him now.
AGOUTI: How! You don't dare attempt to go on board again
surely! In any event by the time you reach, the boat will be far
off.
DOG: Who talking ‘bout going down!
AGOUTI: Well how else?
CROW: Man it good for all-you. I did warn you. What sweet
in goat mouth does sour in he...?
DOG: Ent if Cow find out Anancy horn eh real, what he go
do?
AGOUTI: Give him the same treatment, I suppose.
DOG: Well, case!
CROW: (Enjoying himself) Anancy too smart for all-you.
'Friend does lead you but they doh bring you back.’
DOG: Look Crow, go from here!
AGOUTI: But how are you going to make Cow aware...?
DOG: Look, the boat must pass round the bay before it go
down the straight.
AGOUTI: So?
DOG: If we shout out hard enough, Cow bound to hear we
and...
CROW: (Rubbing it in) Ah warn all-you, but all-you feel I fast
and stupid. ‘A fool and his money are soon parted.’
DOG: Hush nah. Crow.
6
CROW: Hush! If all-you did listen to me.
DOG: Look, whey you see I vex here. Ah take it out on you.
AGOUTI: Look Compere Dog, the boat is nearly there.
DOG: Aright. When Ah give the word we shouting together,
hard for Cow to hear.
AGOUTI: O.K. But I don't know if we should attempt to get
Anancy in trouble.
DOG: (Losing patience) Look! You helping or you not
helping?
AGOUTI: (Pause) O.K. What shall we say?
CROW: Oh, anything. Tell him that when he reach down on
Bird Island to line up all the animal and check and see if they
have the real thing on they head
DOG: That too long. We want something short and quick.
AGOUTI: Short! What about 'Compere Cow, would you
mind taking a closer look at the fellow at the back of the boat’.
DOG: No man. Something like 'Hold Anancy. Hold Anancy'.
AGOUTI: Yes. That's shorter. 'Hold Anancy'.
CROW: You fools. How Cow go know who is Anancy. You
make the horn so good, they could never recognise Anancy.
AGOUTI: What do you suggest we say?
CROW: I suggest all-you go home and rest. Tell you family
Anancy fool all-you again.
DOG: Doh make joke!
AGOUTI: (In near panic) Oh my! Dog the boat is sailing
away. What do we do now?
DOG: (Desperate) Oh gosh. Shout!
AGOUTI: What?
DOG: Anything! The boat almost out of range. Compere
Cow! Cow! Cow!
CROW: Yes. Tell him. It too late. You fool. The boat done
gone.
AGOUTI: 'Captain! Captain! There is a traitor on board.
Examine the horns'.
DOG: Agouti, you fool, you let the boat get away. Is your
fault. (Dog chases Agouti. Crow flies off).
NARRATOR: Well you know the rest of the story. You must
be saying by now that this is not the way it supposed to end.
Well that is true. But with Anancy you never know. So since
we start off with 'Once upon a time. We go end off with ‘Crick
Crack’.
THE END
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