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Insight into EFL Teaching and Issues in Asia
Insight into EFL Teaching and Issues in Asia

Edited by

Evelyn Doman
 Insight into EFL Teaching and Issues in Asia,
Edited by Evelyn Doman

This book first published 2014

Cambridge Scholars Publishing

12 Back Chapman Street, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 2XX, UK

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Copyright © 2014 by Evelyn Doman and contributors

All rights for this book reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or
otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.

ISBN (10): 1-4438-5643-6, ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-5643-0

This book is dedicated to Aleesa and Jaemin. Without your continual
support, love and understanding, I could never have been able to complete
this project. Thank you for teaching me about the real meaning of life.
—Mommy
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

List of Tables .............................................................................................. ix

List of Figures............................................................................................. xi

Foreword .................................................................................................. xiii

Acknowledgments ..................................................................................... xv

List of Abbreviations ............................................................................... xvii

Introduction ................................................................................................. 1

Part I Action Research

Chapter One ................................................................................................. 9

Getting Started with Action Research: An Introduction for Teachers
Interested in Investigating Classroom Issues
Andrew Tweed

Chapter Two .............................................................................................. 21

Classical Rhetoric for the EFL Classroom
Otis Phillip Elliott, Jr.

Chapter Three ............................................................................................ 31

Developing Collocational Awareness in a Macao Secondary Classroom
Ho U-Teng, Trevor

Chapter Four .............................................................................................. 45

Circular Design: A Communicative Approach to Intensive Reading
Tony Newman

Part II Successful Teaching Practices

Chapter Five .............................................................................................. 63

A Cooperative Learning Technique That Works
Norma S. Smith
viii Table of Contents

Chapter Six ................................................................................................ 73

Teaching to the Spectrum: Differentiating Instruction in the Mixed Level
Classroom
Lynn Mallory

Chapter Seven............................................................................................ 83
Teaching Multilinguals with Book Builder: An Integration
of Technology and Collaboration
Alice S. Lee

Part III Innovative Language Assistance Programs

Chapter Eight ........................................................................................... 103

Teachers’ Perspectives on Peer Tutoring Across the Classroom (PTAC):
An Approach to Helping Low-proficiency English Students
Evelyn Doman

Chapter Nine............................................................................................ 129

A Transcultural Framework Proposal for International Writing Centers
Alice S. Lee

Part IV Issues of Autonomy and Identity

Chapter Ten ............................................................................................. 147

Mindful Learners: Encouraging English Language Learners to be Active,
Autonomous, and Mindful
Judy E. Emerson

Chapter Eleven ........................................................................................ 157

Demystifying the Peer Review Process in the Chinese EFL Classroom
Evelyn Doman

Chapter Twelve ....................................................................................... 177

Sexual Identity Issues with Chinese Students
Joshua Lee

Contributors ............................................................................................. 191

 LIST OF TABLES

Table 8-1: Peer tutor assignments by teacher

Table 8-2: Tutor was positioned in a visible area (question 8)
Table 8-3: Amount of peer tutor involvement in instruction (question 9)
Table 8-4: Peer tutor delivered mini-sessions (question 10)
Table 8-5: Peer tutor took advantage of opportunities given to her
(question 11)
Table 8-6: Peer tutor circulated around classroom (question 12)
Table 8-7: Peer tutor was prepared and on time to class (question 14)
Table 11-1: Attitudes of experimental group toward peer review
Table 11-2: Comparison of students’ attitudes towards English writing,
experimental and control group
Table 11-3: Statistics of the writing scores for the pre-test
Table 11-4: Statistics of the writing scores for the post-test
 LIST OF FIGURES

Figure 3-1: Conzett (2000)’s continuum of word partnerships

Figure 3-2: Types of grammatical and lexical collocations according to
Bensen, Bensen & Ilson (1986)
Figure 3-3: An example of note-taking of a new vocabulary item with its
collocations
Figure 3-4: Examples of writing thesis statements
Figure 3-5: Example of marking
Figure 4-1: Four-Part Story Board
Figure 5-1: Group Assignments
Figure 5-2: New break-out groups
Figure 5-3: Break-out group A
Figure 5-4: Worksheet to fill out for Step 3
Figure 5-5: Extended Activity #1 Blue Group
Figure 5-6: Extended Activity #2 Pink Group
Figure 5-7: Extended Activity #3 Green Group
Figure 5-8: Extended Activity #4 Yellow Group
 FOREWORD

Many of us in the field of English language teaching and applied

linguistics come from diverse backgrounds and approach teaching with
different methodologies, perhaps as a result of our educational
experiences. Although our approaches differ, I believe that we have our
students’ best interests at heart. It is this common interest that has brought
together English language instructors from various parts of Asia to Macao
to discuss the challenges we face in our classrooms, share our successes,
and look for common ground.
This book is the result of many years’ worth of effort in finding a
means of collaboration between stakeholders of English language
instruction in Macao. At the same time, the book signals the beginning of
a dialogue between language instructors in this region. The occasion to do
both of these things came about in January 2013, when English language
instructors from secondary and tertiary institutions in Macao and other
parts of Asia met for the first English language teaching conference
organized by the English Language Centre (ELC) at the University of
Macau. This conference provided participants with an opportunity to hear
from one of the more marginalized groups among English instructors in
Macao—the secondary school teachers, who are often overworked,
underpaid, and underappreciated. The conference also allowed dedicated
instructors to reflect on their own teaching practices, engage in fruitful
discussions, and challenge one another’s approaches to teaching.
During the 10 year history of the ELC as an independent academic
unit, many efforts have been undertaken to establish closer ties between
secondary and tertiary educators. In 2008, the first professional
development symposium brought together ELC instructors and English
language instructors from 40 different secondary schools in Macao. This
symposium planted a seed that was to grow into a full-scale two-day
conference in 2013, and the scope of this conference broadened to include
English Language Fellows (ELFs) from the U.S. Department of State.
The ELFs shared teaching practices in China, Laos, Cambodia, Timor-
Leste, Thailand, South Korea, Taiwan, Vietnam, and Mongolia, providing
a regional perspective on the general trend of English language teaching.
ELC instructors gained insight into the challenges faced by secondary
school instructors. Secondary instructors cultivated their professional
xiv Table of Contents

identities and voiced their hopes for the future development of Macao’s
English language instruction.
From this conference, further networking and collaborative opportunities
arose. Teacher scholars engaged in action research in their classrooms to
further align their teaching practices with solid theoretical grounding.
Although we all came into this conference with different approaches to
teaching, we left with the common goal of working toward praxis. This
book presents some of the ongoing action research, teaching practices, and
theoretical grounding discussed at the conference.
Both the conference and the book have been rewarding experiences for
me, and it is my hope that future conferences will bring more opportunities
for collaboration across contexts, borders, and media, resulting in
manuscripts documenting some of the innovations taking place here in
Macao and around the region.

Alice S. Lee
University of Macau
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book would not have been possible without support from the
University of Macau and the United States Department of State for their
gracious funding of the 2012 English Language Teaching (ELT)
Conference, “Working Towards a Common Core in Macao: Many Voices,
One Vision”, hosted by the English Language Centre (ELC). The
academic staff at the ELC, the English Language Fellows from the State
Department, and participating Macao secondary school English teachers
helped to make the conference a huge success with their informative
presentations and insightful workshops. A special thank you goes out to
the administrative staff at the ELC for assisting with the logistics, PR
design, and all the behind-the-scene aspects of the conference. Without
their continuous support, the conference could never have been held! I
would especially like to thank the contributors to this volume for their trust
in my ability to ensure that their work was published. Finally, thanks are
due to the publishers at Cambridge Scholars—particularly Ms. Carol
Koulikourdi and Ms. Amanda Millar—who encouraged us to pursue this
project in the first place, and Mr. Simon Summers for his editorial
assistance. Thank you all so much!

Dr. Evelyn Doman

Director, ELC
University of Macau
 LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS

Some of the more commonly used abbreviations in this book include:

AR: Action Research

CL: Cooperative Learning
ELC: English Language Centre
EFL: English as a Foreign Language
ESL: English as a Second Language
LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender
TESOL: Teaching English as a Second or Other Language
SLA: Second Language Acquisition
Ss: Students
 INTRODUCTION

This book has its origins in the English Language Teaching Conference,
“Working Towards a Common Core in Macao: Many Voices, One Vision”,
hosted by the English Language Centre (ELC) of the University of Macau
in January, 2013. The conference, jointly sponsored by the Embassy of the
United States in Beijing, drew together English teachers from around Asia
working in both secondary and tertiary English-language classrooms and
developmental programs. The goals of the conference were trifold: (1) for
teachers to reflect on past failed practices, (2) for teachers to prepare for
future challenges, and (3) for teachers to improve their teaching.
This ELT conference was the second that the ELC had hosted in five
years. The theme addressed some of the major challenges facing Macao’s
English language learners as they prepare for tertiary education in a fast-
paced and changing world. Bringing together English Language Fellows
from various parts of Asia, secondary school English teachers from Macao,
and ELC teachers to discuss ways of moving our field forward, the goal
was that conferences such as this would bring together local and
international language teaching experts to discuss relevant issues and
possible solutions. Additionally, a high value was placed on the importance
of establishing channels for dialogue from all English language teaching
and learning stakeholders at the secondary and tertiary levels in Macao.
We hope that this conference and future conferences hosted by the ELC
will foster working relationships between all these stakeholders in Macao
and beyond.
This collection offers insight into current issues in teaching EFL in
Asia. University and secondary school teachers and researchers from nine
different Asian countries share the experiences they have encountered in
their English-language courses, and offer suggestions for incorporating
new methodologies and techniques both in and outside the classroom. Not
only is this book filled with valuable teaching techniques that we have
found successful, but it also introduces new ways of dealing with various
social situations in the classroom as well. As most of the currently
available literature regarding second language acquisition deals with how
English is taught as a second language in English-speaking countries, such
as the United States, Australia, Canada and the UK, this book is unique in
that it offers the perspective of teaching English as a Foreign Language in
2 Introduction

Asia, where students often do not get many opportunities to engage with
the language outside the classroom.
This book is geared towards all university-level instructors and
secondary school teachers teaching English as a Foreign Language in Asia,
teachers interested in coming to Asia to teach EFL, and researchers doing
cross-cultural studies investigating foreign language learning in today’s
global society. Teaching English abroad is definitely a booming industry
these days; English is on the rise, and young educators are taking
advantage of abundant opportunities.
This book stands alone in its purpose in generating a view of the
situations which EFL teachers and students face today. Other books
related to teaching EFL in Asia are simply guidebooks for people who are
considering teaching in various Asian countries. The current collection is
not a guidebook but, rather, is a detailed study of the issues which real
teachers are now facing in their classrooms every day.
The book has been organized into four main sections: action research
and examples of action research in English as a Foreign Language (EFL)
writing and reading classrooms, successful teaching practices, innovative
language assistance programs, and considerations for developing students’
autonomy and identities.
The first part of this book is dedicated to action research. As full-time
teachers of EFL, we do not have a great deal of free time at our disposal to
undertake formal research. Action research allows us to investigate
problems or issues in our classrooms, from the first-person perspective of
the teacher.
In Chapter 1, Andrew Tweed states that Action Research (AR) is
useful for English language teachers who wish to investigate various
observations made in their classrooms. AR is defined as a specific and
systematic soft approach to research, in contrast with ‘traditional’ applied
research. In addition to defining AR, Tweed briefly covers some key
aspects of AR, such as the AR cycle, as well as the common research
methods it employs, including ways of collecting and analyzing data.
Providing examples of AR projects carried out in Asian countries, Tweed
discusses the advantages and disadvantages of AR, and concludes by
proposing an alternative to AR called Exploratory Practice. Although
Tweed admits that AR can be a time-consuming activity, he recommends
that teachers take the initiative in investigating aspects of their classroom
teaching, in order to avoid burnout and to maintain the passion that they
originally brought to the field.
Some examples of action research follow, in chapters 2-4. In Chapter 2,
Otis Phillip Elliott, Jr. undertakes an action research project in his EFL
 Insight into EFL Teaching and Issues in Asia 3

writing course. Elliott explores the teaching of classical Greco-Roman

rhetorical patterns, and offers strategies for teaching these patterns.
Teaching traditional rhetorical patterns, he insists, helps his students to
manage their written texts on the micro level by enabling them to diversify
their papers and to make them more interesting to read. Elliot proposes
four writing steps to help students become more autonomous writers.
In Chapter 3, Trevor U-Teng Ho undertakes action research as part of a
high school EFL writing course in Macao, in order to help students
overcome their frustrations about using lexical items accurately during
productive tasks. By exposing his students to extensive vocabulary,
through the use of collocations, semi-fixed and fixed expressions, Ho
explores and demonstrates some effective ways of developing awareness
of lexical learning. He also calls for a shift towards adopting Lewis’s
(1990) Lexical Approach to teaching lexis in the language classroom.
In Chapter 4, Tony Newman questions if it is possible to create a
student-centered, highly communicative, and intensive reading environment.
While theoretical debates (e.g., Williamson 2009) about whether language
acquisition and communicative competence are innately determined
continue to escalate, Newman believes that teachers of ESL/EFL are
struggling to find real, relevant classroom strategies that enhance students’
cognitive development and communicative ability. Circular Design, where
careful contemplation and communion of thought between students and
their teacher can occur, is proposed as a solution to this problem.
In the second part of the book (chapters 5-8), examples of successful
teaching practices in Asia are presented and discussed. Examples include
suggestions for dealing with mixed-level classes, differentiating student
competencies, and using free software in class.
In Chapter 5, Norma Smith tells us that Cooperative Learning (CL) is a
very successful teaching technique that can be used effectively in multi-
level ESL classrooms. CL is a proven method of stimulating real life
situations in a classroom environment. Smith shows that students of
different levels of ability can work together to complete various tasks
under the CL model. By stimulating the interest of students, real
communication can take place.
In Chapter 6, Lynn Mallory shows that while students are frequently
grouped together by skill level, there is often great disparity in their actual
abilities. Teachers often find themselves “teaching to the middle”, which
may or may not be conducive to learning. Mallory investigates how
students on the upper end can be challenged, while still giving those on the
lower end the time and space to excel. The answer, she says, lies in
differentiating instruction. After defining differentiation, Mallory gives
4 Introduction

some practical and easy-to-implement solutions that will work with

English Language Learners of any age group.
In Chapter 7, Alice S. Lee uses a free online software package called
Book Builder to create graded readers for a specific audience. By
integrating technology and collaborative learning, students are able to
complete group work by writing an online book. In this experiment,
groups of three to four pre-service English language teachers authored
short stories with pre-, while-, and post-reading activities. Through this
process, they learned the benefits of collaborative and reflective learning,
whilst producing teaching materials that had real-world value. Lee
recommends Book Builder as a great resource for encouraging students to
write and to engage in materials development.
The third part of the book focuses upon innovative language assistance
programs currently being developed in Asia. Writing centers and peer
tutoring are addressed as ways of continuing the learning process outside
the classroom, or through the assistance of upper-classmen or graduate
students, who are more fluent in English and can thus serve as role models
to freshmen embarking upon their tertiary experience.
In Chapter 8, Evelyn Doman shows that one approach to team-teaching
is through the use of peer tutors in the classroom. Doman discusses how
“Peer Tutors Across the Classroom (PTAC)” was started at the University
of Macau, in response to the growing number of students and their need to
improve their English proficiencies. The results of this new program show
that peers can be helpful in creating students who are active members of
the EFL classroom. Doman suggests that integrating peer tutors into the
language classroom is an excellent way of reducing the teacher-student
ratio, giving students more opportunities to use the target language.
In Chapter 9, Alice S. Lee proposes a possible theoretical framework
through which international writing centers, which work primarily with
English language learners, can operate. Lee shows that previous research
in this field focuses on tutor-tutee interactions situated mostly in western
educational systems. She argues that a transcultural framework should be
adopted, which rejects the false native versus non-native speaker
dichotomy, and places learning within various under-investigated contexts.
Chapters 10-12 address the issues of autonomy and student identity.
Through building their autonomy, students become more responsible for
their own learning. Likewise, giving students the freedom to express their
own identity in class can aid the learning process.
In Chapter 10, Judy Emerson observes that one of the most difficult
aspects of teaching is asking students to take responsibility for their
learning. As the most successful students are those who are autonomous in
 Insight into EFL Teaching and Issues in Asia 5

their learning, Emerson insists that learning be continued outside the

classroom, and claims that learner autonomy helps students to develop an
understanding of their metacognitive skills. By offering choices in a
course, and by involving students in almost all aspects of decision-making
in the classroom, instructors open up a new world for students by engaging
them in the learning process.
In Chapter 11, Evelyn Doman describes the peer review process. By
questioning whether or not Chinese students are capable of peer review,
Doman investigates the abilities and attitudes of Chinese students towards
peer review, as well as the effects of peer review on the students’ English
writing abilities. By using tools such as questionnaires, qualitative
descriptions in reflective journals, graded essays, and classroom observations,
Doman shows that students in the experimental class develop positive
attitudes toward the peer review process and are able to succeed in
carrying out peer review, despite the widely-held hypothesis that they are
not able to do so. Doman also shows that the experimental group performs
significantly better than the control group in terms of post-test essay
grades. She concludes that peer review should be widely implemented into
the language classroom as a way of fostering collaboration, promoting
student autonomy, improving students’ writing skills, and building
students’ confidence as writers of English.
Finally, in Chapter 12, Joshua Lee discusses the sexual identities of
students. Lee observes that in mainland China, most university students
are not open about their sexual orientations. Although it is difficult for
students to talk openly about such issues, instructors can play an important
role in raising awareness about Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender
(LBGT) issues, thereby creating an environment that embraces diversity.
On the basis of his teaching experiences, Lee finds that LGBT issues are
more likely to be raised in more learner-centered classrooms.
The issues addressed in this volume are likely to be of interest to those
currently teaching or researching in Asia. The diversity of the contributors’
experience, in a range of teaching contexts, is representative of the
experience of TESOL educators in this part of the world. For educators in
the region who spend most of their days in the EFL classroom, the issues
addressed in this book are sure to have implications for their teaching and
learning.
 PART I

ACTION RESEARCH
 CHAPTER ONE

GETTING STARTED WITH ACTION RESEARCH:

AN INTRODUCTION FOR TEACHERS
INTERESTED IN INVESTIGATING
CLASSROOM ISSUES

ANDREW TWEED
SENIOR ENGLISH LANGUAGE FELLOW
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE

Abstract
Action Research (AR) is useful for English language teachers who wish to
investigate various classroom matters. Teachers may want to experiment
with new techniques and evaluate their effectiveness, or search for
solutions to problems that they are experiencing. This paper defines AR as
a specific and systematic method of reflective teaching, and clarifies how
AR compares to more ‘traditional’ applied research. In addition, it briefly
covers some key aspects of AR, such as the AR cycle, as well as some of
the common research methods employed, including ways of collecting
data. The chapter will also reference some examples of AR projects done
in Asian countries, so that participants can better understand the range of
possible methods which can be used. A discussion of the advantages and
disadvantages of AR is also included, and an alternative to AR
(Exploratory Practice) is examined, for the benefit of those teachers who
do not have time to carry out a more rigorous research project. Finally,
resources are suggested, including some freely available on the Internet,
for the purposes of further inquiry into Action Research.

Keywords: Action Research, reflective teaching, Exploratory Practice

10 Chapter One

Introduction
The foreign language classroom is a multi-faceted arena. Students are
there to learn a language for various reasons, and are comprised of
individuals with different personalities, proficiency levels, learning styles
and other characteristics. The foreign language teacher may come from a
similar background as her students or a different one; as such, she may or
may not be familiar with the students’ first language, and the students, in
most cases, may have a limited ability in the target language. These are
just a few items which add to the intrigue of the foreign language
classroom.
As teaching foreign languages can be a puzzling endeavor, throughout
their careers teachers seek guidance on how best to help their students
learn new languages. Most teachers will have completed some kind of pre-
service teacher training course, where they learn about areas such as
linguistics, second language acquisition, ELT methodology, assessment,
and so forth. These courses may have been included as part of a BA
TESOL, MA TESOL, or a TESOL certificate program. In addition, most
language teachers normally take part in some kind of ongoing professional
development once they have begun to work as foreign language teachers.
This may come in the form of in-service workshops at the school or
attendance at conferences.
However, despite the considerable number of subjects that language
teachers study, as well as the ongoing professional development in which
they participate, the foreign language classroom remains mysterious in a
number of ways. As stated above, there are many variables in the second
language classroom; in addition, there are a considerable number of
differing views on matters such as the best method of teaching languages,
how languages are actually learned, and which kinds of classroom
activities and techniques are most suitable for given contexts. Some
teachers may, in fact, be turned off by research, as there just does not seem
to be a consensus on how a teacher should best teach her students. It is
somewhat understandable for teachers to say they have no time to keep up
with the latest findings in the field’s research journals.
Nevertheless, it would be unfortunate if teachers lost their sense of
curiosity, simply because they were turned off by the literature. Puzzles,
problems, and questions—these are the kinds of things that make teaching
exciting; when there is a way of investigating our own individual puzzles,
and we find answers to them, we become ever more interested in the
teaching and learning process. Action research (AR) is a systematic tool
that teachers can use to explore the questions or problems they encounter
 Getting Started with Action Research 11

in their classrooms. By choosing problems to examine more closely,

collecting and analyzing data, and reflecting on what they have found,
teachers engage in AR.
Here are a few definitions of AR:

Action Research is a form of teacher-driven research. Its goals are to

improve classroom practice, and to empower teachers (Thornbury 2006, 3).

Action research is a way of reflecting on your teaching by systematically

collecting data on your everyday practice and analyzing it in order to come
to decisions about what your future practice should be (Wallace 1998).

It is related to the ideas of ‘reflective practice’ and ‘teacher as researcher.’

AR involves taking a self-reflective, critical, and systematic approach to
exploring your own teaching contexts (Burns 2010, 2).

Thornbury (2006) says that AR is empowering. Indeed, putting

teachers in the position of personally investigating what does and does not
work and why, allows them to feel more in control of and responsible for
the methods they use in class. Both Burns and Wallace mention reflection
and being systematic. While these notions may seem incongruent, we will
see below how both have their part in the AR cycle.
Many teachers are involved in some sort of reflective teaching. At the
very least, this may involve time spent thinking about one’s last class after
it has finished. A teacher may reflect on what went wrong and why, or
what went really well and why. She may deduce the causes for the effects
she has just seen. Another example of reflective teaching would be to
verbalize these same concerns with other teachers, to see how they
respond. Perhaps they have had some experiences and can offer a different
perspective or additional insights into why something happened the way it
did. One final common example of reflective teaching would be to keep a
journal. This would allow the teacher to look back weeks, months or even
years later, to see what problems or issues had arisen.
The examples above include teachers interested in what occurred in
their classes and the search to understand the reasons for what happened.
However, the conclusions we draw from reflective teaching can be very
subjective. For example, although we may surmise that the reason a
certain student spoke more in class was that he was interested in the topic,
it could be for an entirely different reason.
While AR recognizes the importance of reflective teaching, it also
includes a closer and more scientific examination of classroom issues, in
order to give the teacher greater confidence in the final outcomes of the
12 Chapter One

study. Rather than being based on conjecture, the conclusions drawn in an

AR study are supported by evidence.
Finally, one needs to draw a line between action research and more
traditional, or applied, research. One of the main distinguishing factors is
that while the findings of applied research are generalizable to other
teaching and learning contexts, those in AR are not. Rather, AR is
concerned with localized contexts and culturally specific problems. In
other words, people who do AR are looking for ways to solve problems or
explore issues in their very own classes. Whereas applied research is
considered to be more scientific and more objective, AR can be more
subjective. However, this subjective and often more qualitative approach is
one of AR’s strengths, insofar as an AR project can take into consideration all
the local realities of a particular learning environment. A study done in the
UK on the effects of extensive listening may involve equipment such as
computers, the internet or CD players, which are not available to students
in other countries, thus rendering the study somewhat less useful. An
action researcher, who asks similar questions while taking these
constraints into consideration, may be able to reach more useful findings
for herself and her colleagues.

Key Aspects of Action Research

This section will examine two important components of action
research: the AR cycle, and some commonly used research methods for
collecting classroom data.

The AR Cycle
People involved in AR often talk about the action research cycle.
Although different AR cycles have been proposed over the years, with
slightly different stages, many share a cyclical framework. Burns (2010)
uses the following cycle as a basic model: Plan—Act—Observe—Reflect.
While the action researcher would generally move in the direction from
planning to reflecting, Burns also explains that it is possible, at times, to
move backwards in the cycle. For instance, this might happen if the action
researcher noticed something in the Act or Observe stage that she had not
previously considered. Noticing this, she may then decide to go back and
adjust her plan. The AR cycle is thus a dynamic model, rather than a static
one. In what follows, we will take a short look at each step in the AR cycle.
The first stage in the AR cycle is Plan (Burns 2010). Our plan emerges
first by identifying the problem we would like to examine, so that we can
 Getting Started with Action Research 13

learn more about it and, hopefully, arrive at a solution. Just as with applied
research, in AR the researcher must be careful not to choose a problem
which is too broad. For instance, the research question, ‘What is the best
way to teach English to my students?’ is far too general. We know that the
content of teaching, such as the four skills and language systems, is very
complex, as are the processes of teaching and learning. Therefore, an
appropriate problem would need to be much narrower in scope. It would
be more valuable, for example, to focus on one skill area or one classroom
procedure. Instead of thinking about ‘the best way to teach my students’,
one could focus on one classroom activity and examine its effectiveness.
Let us imagine that our concern is with helping students to increase their
vocabulary. One could do a project to see if the introduction of a particular
activity helps students to learn more vocabulary words: such activities
could include extensive reading, keeping vocabulary notebooks, or
including a vocabulary review session.
The planning stage does not simply involve coming up with a problem.
A variety of activities may help the researcher formulate a good plan. A
teacher may talk to her colleagues in order to hear their insights into the
problem. This may help the teacher to consider different perspectives upon
the issue. For similar reasons, she might read some background literature
on the topic. This could also help her to see what kind of research
(whether applied or AR) has already been carried out. In addition, a
teacher could observe other teachers’ classes or have them observe hers.
Finally, once the researcher feels more confident with the issue and how to
investigate it, she can then begin to map out the remaining stages of the
research project: Act, Observe, and Reflect.
The next stage of the AR cycle is Act (Burns 2010). As the word
suggests, this is the step when plans are put into action. This stage often
involves doing something in the classroom, such as introducing a new
technique or giving the students a survey to complete. This stage also
involves the collection of data, which can be done by using observation
checklists, audio or video recordings, or questionnaires. These will be
discussed in more detail below.
After we Act, we Observe (Burns 2010). By observe, we mean that the
data should be looked at or analyzed. In the previous stage, we
implemented our plan and collected data; now, the data need to be
carefully examined in order to interpret the findings. The data we analyze
may be qualitative, as in journal entries, or quantitative, as in objective yes
or no answers to a questionnaire. We do not have enough space here to go
into the analysis of different kinds of data. Readers may wish to refer to
14 Chapter One

the final section for some recommended resources, which discuss these
issues more thoroughly.
The final stage of the AR cycle is Reflect (Burns 2010). When we
reflect, we look back at the whole process of AR, and consider our original
research question(s) and the findings of our analysis. We may or may not
be satisfied with the results. Perhaps we got a clear enough answer to our
question and can move on. On the other hand, going through the AR cycle
may have given us a new perspective upon the problem, and we may want
to repeat the cycle, this time in a new and different way. Reflecting may
also involve giving a description of the whole process in a report, or
sharing the experience with colleagues or other languages professionals at
a workshop or conference. The process of detailing everything that has
been done can actually help us to understand different aspects of a study
more fully, including its strengths and weaknesses.

Common Action Research Methods for Collecting

Classroom Data
Now that we have discussed the AR cycle, it will be useful to mention
some of the different methods used in collecting classroom data. One
common way of collecting data for an AR study is through observation.
This method should be familiar to teachers, as we spend a lot of time in
our classes observing, noticing and analyzing what our students are doing.
There are some different ways that we can observe and record data during
a class. Observation checklists can be useful for quickly recording certain
classroom behaviors. One may note down how many times certain
students answer questions or speak during a class, for example. Teacher
behavior can also be recorded. For instance, a colleague could note which
students a teacher calls on, or how many boys answer questions, as
compared with girls. Rather than a checklist, more general observation
notes could also be recorded. If a teacher wants to find out who is causing
a disturbance during group activities, she could write down exactly what
she sees. Finally, video and audio recordings can be used for the purposes
of observations, allowing for a much more careful examination, where
classroom language and interactions can be transcribed at a later time.
Interviews, questionnaires, and journals are a few other methods that
can be used for collecting data. Individual students could be interviewed
about their classroom preferences in order to collect more detailed
information. Alternatively, questionnaires could be given out to the entire
class. These could contain both closed and open-ended items. One last
method worth mentioning is the use of journals. These could be written by
 Getting Started with Action Research 15

the students as dialog journals, or by the teacher as a way of reflecting

upon her teaching. For example, the students could reflect on the difficulty
of the content and the exercises given during a course. The teacher could
reflect, for instance, on what she felt went well, what did not, and why.

Examples of AR Projects Done in Asia

In order to better illustrate what AR looks like, we will now discuss
two examples of AR projects done in Asia. The first was carried out by a
teacher trainer at the National Institute of Education, the institute for
would-be upper secondary school teachers in Cambodia. 20 secondary
school English teachers in Hong Kong participated in the second project.
A teacher trainer in Cambodia was concerned that some of her students
(who were teacher trainees) were not speaking enough in class (Seng and
Nuom, 2013). She wanted to find out what kinds of groupings would make
them more comfortable and encourage them to speak more. The trainer
used two different data collection methods: one was a questionnaire, and
the other was observation. As part of the questionnaire, amongst other
things, she asked the students to indicate what kind of groupings they
preferred (for example individual, pair, group work, with or without
friends, and with more talkative or less talkative students). For the
observation, she first made notes about which students rarely spoke in
class. After that, she experimented with putting those students in groups
with more talkative students, then in groups with less talkative students.
She assigned one student in each group the task of noting the number of
times each person spoke. After analyzing the observation data, she came to
the conclusion that students were more willing to speak when they were
grouped with other less talkative students. Most of the less talkative
students also indicated this preference in the questionnaires. Later, this
teacher presented her project as a poster presentation at a regional
conference, and later as part of the in-service training at her institute.
In another project, Andy Curtis (2001) helped 20 teachers from Hong
Kong engage in similar AR studies in their classes. All 20 teachers chose
to focus on the topic of how to get their students to speak more in class
(note that while this is similar to the topic of the first project, in this case
the teachers focused on how to get all their students to speak more, not
just the less talkative ones). In addition to providing training in AR to the
teachers, Curtis gave them a basic framework for their projects. First, they
wrote down what they thought were the reasons for the lack of speaking in
their classes. After that, they were asked to observe each other’s classes
and write down what was happening. Next, the teachers met and discussed
16 Chapter One

these issues with their peers, to try to gain some insights into why students
did not speak much in class. Following this, the teachers held similar
conversations with their students, either in English or in the L1, whichever
seemed more suitable. Finally, based on the knowledge they had acquired
in the previous steps, they began to implement changes in their classes, for
example changing their own teacher behaviors, or trying to motivate their
students with the use of more communicative activities. All the teachers
then wrote up reports of their AR projects, including their relative
successes.
While the two AR studies above focused on similar issues, their
approaches were somewhat different. The study in Cambodia had a more
quantitative methodology, making use of observations and questionnaires.
The study in Hong Kong, on the other hand, used peer and student
discussions, as well as less-structured observations, making it a largely
qualitative project. In both cases, the teachers reported that they were able
to learn something new about their classes, and most of the teachers
reported some degree of success in getting the desired student population
to speak more in their classes.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Doing AR,

and an Alternative to AR, Exploratory Practice
It is worth considering some of the advantages of AR for teachers. As
previously mentioned, doing AR can be empowering. Instead of relying on
research done by others, in different learning contexts, AR enables
teachers to investigate issues and come to their own conclusions. The
results of an AR study can sometimes be more valuable for the researcher
and her colleagues because the research is done in a specific and localized
context, to which they can immediately relate. Finally, doing AR can be
reinvigorating: it can rekindle teachers’ curiosity and make them excited
about the teaching and learning process once again. This is important
because, at times, many teachers feel burnt out or uninspired by their work.
There are, however, some drawbacks to doing AR (Dornyei 2007, 191-
192). Perhaps the one most commonly expressed is that AR is too time
consuming. Teachers are busy as it is: they have papers to mark, lessons to
plan, and meetings and workshops to attend. Teachers may not react
positively to yet another activity that makes them even busier. Another
disadvantage of doing AR is that teachers rarely get paid for it. If teachers
are taking extra time to do something, they may feel that they deserve
compensation. Finally, some teachers may complain that they do not have
access to enough resources to do AR. For instance, they may not have
 Getting Started with Action Research 17

access to professional teaching journals, and audio and video recording

devices may not be readily available.
Regarding the first disadvantage mentioned above, that AR is too time-
consuming, an alternative known as Exploratory Practice (EP) may appeal
to some teachers (Allwright 1993). In EP, teachers try to include
classroom activities which can help them gain insight into classroom
issues. For example, if a teacher wanted to know what kind of tasks her
students enjoy doing, she could ask the students to rank a list of activities
and then discuss their ideas in groups. Each group could then summarize
their thoughts and report to the rest of the class. There are several
advantages to this kind of approach. First, as with AR, it helps the teacher
to understand something about her class in more depth. Second, the
activity itself is authentic, in that the teacher really wants to learn this
information from the students. In other words, there is an actual purpose,
aside from language learning, to the students’ discussions. Third, this
activity is personalized in that each student considers for himself which
activities are best. Finally, it is communicative, because in order to
complete the task successfully, all students must express their views.
Since the early 1990s Dick Allwright has been the person most
commonly associated with EP. Over the years he has revised his approach,
striving to make EP more practical for teachers to implement in their
classes (Allwright 2005, 353). There is no room to discuss this in detail
here, other than to present some possible classroom activities which may
be used to investigate various classroom puzzles. Here is an abridged list
of possible classroom procedures for exploring ‘puzzles’ which Allwright
(1993) has suggested.

1. Group and pair discussions

2. Surveys
3. Interviews
4. Role-plays
5. Diaries
6. Projects
7. Poster sessions

Conclusion
Action research really begins when we reflect upon our teaching. This
could take various forms, such as discussing our classes with colleagues,
keeping a teaching journal, video recording the class, or asking someone
to observe us. By closely examining what is happening in our classes, we
are likely to come across some problems that we would like to investigate.
18 Chapter One

As discussed above, once we find a general area that we would like to

focus on, we need to narrow this down so that it can be adequately
examined within an AR framework. That is to say, our research
question(s) should not be so broad that they could not be properly
investigated through one or more AR methods. As you are narrowing your
topic and research question(s), it is a good idea to continue discussing your
project with your colleagues, and to read some of the background literature
on the topic. You can then begin planning your AR study.
The AR cycle of plan-act-observe-reflect (Burns 2010) is recommended,
in order to provide your study with an effective framework. This helps to
ensure that a more systematic approach is paired with the reflective
approach of AR. Like other kinds of research, AR is time-consuming.
However, doing AR can be very rewarding for teachers who are curious to
learn more about the teaching and learning process. Action Research not
only benefits the teacher conducting the study, but can also be a valuable
resource for her colleagues, and can improve the general teaching and
learning environment of our schools.

References
Allwright, D. 1993. “Integrating ‘research’ and ‘pedagogy’: Appropriate
criteria and practical possibilities.” In J. Edge & K. Richard (eds.),
Teachers Develop Teachers Research (pp. 125–135). London: Heinemann.
—. 2005. “Developing principles for practitioner research: The case of
exploratory practice”. Modern Language Journal 89(3), 353–66.
Burns, A. 2010. Doing Action Research in English Language Teaching: A
Guide for Practitioners. New York: Routledge.
Curits, A. 2001. “Hong Kong secondary school teachers’ first experiences
of action research”. Pan Asian Consortium Journal 1(1), 65-78.
Dörnyei, Z. 2007. Research Methods in Applied Linguistics: Quantitative,
Qualitative, and Mixed Methodologies. Oxford: Oxford University
Press.
Seng, S. & Nuom, R. 2013. Empowering shy or nervous teacher trainees
to speak more during class: Results of action research done at the
National Institute of Education in Cambodia. Paper presented at the
annual CamTESOL Conference, Phnom Penh, Cambodia, February
23-24.
Thornbury, S. 2006. An A to Z of ELT. Oxford: Macmillan.
Wallace, M. J. 1998. Action Research for Language Teachers. Cambridge:
Cambridge University Press.
 Getting Started with Action Research 19

Appendix A: Resources for Action Research

Here is a list of recommended resources for doing AR. Some are
helpful when learning how to do AR and EP, and others are actual
examples of AR projects.

1. Burns, A. 2010. Doing Action Research in English Language

Teaching: A Guide for Practitioners. New York: Routledge. This
book is an excellent guide for language teachers doing Action
Research.

2. Dörnyei, Z. 2007. Research Methods in Applied Linguistics:

Quantitative, Qualitative, and Mixed Methodologies. Oxford:
Oxford UP. This is a good reference guide for doing research in
applied linguistics.

3. Exploratory Practice Centre website. This is a good link for more

information on EP. http://www.letras.puc-rio.br/unidades&nucleos
/epcentre/bibliography.htm

4. Pan Asian Consortium Journal. This free, online journal has a

number of articles related to AR done in Asia, including Hong
Kong. http://www.pac-teach.org/jrnl-v1/
 CHAPTER TWO

CLASSICAL RHETORIC
FOR THE EFL CLASSROOM

OTIS PHILLIP ELLIOTT, JR.

SENIOR ENGLISH LANGUAGE FELLOW
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE

Abstract
This chapter explores the teaching of classical Greco-Roman rhetorical
patterns to students in the English as a foreign language (EFL) classroom.
Strategies for teaching the patterns are offered, as well as illustrations of
their effects on students' L2 writing. Writing samples from students who
are of a variety of ages and at different skill levels are presented. While no
claim that this is the only or best way to teach EFL students rhetorical
patterns is presented, the purpose of this chapter is to share with EFL
teachers and students what I have found to be successful in my classrooms,
with the hope that they may find this of interest and some utility.

Keywords: classical rhetoric, EFL writing, figures of speech

Introduction
Rhetoric is the “art of effective communication” (Lucas 2010, 5).
Cultures develop rhetorical traditions and conventions for organizing and
expressing thought that become ingrained in the discourse of their people,
exerting a significant influence over long periods of time. For instance, an
influential convention in Chinese is the qi-cheng-zhuan-he argument
structure (Yang and Yang 2010). In Western culture, the Greco-Roman
rhetorical convention has influenced argument structure in English
discourse, with its delineation of the functions of the various parts of an
essay, closely matching what we today would call the Introduction
22 Chapter Two

(exordium, narration, proposition, division), Body (confirmation, refutation,

digression) and Conclusion (peroration).
Eastern and Western rhetorical patterns have been familiar topics in
second language (L2) writing research and contrastive rhetoric (Conner
1987, Liao and Chen 2009, Liu 2012). Researchers like Chien (2011),
Seifoori (2012) and Xiao (2007) have been interested in the important role
that the L2 writing teacher plays in the foreign language classroom in the
development of students’ writing skills. In Chien (2011), the author
concludes that the EFL writing teacher is likely to be the most important
factor in determining how well Chinese students are able to utilize the
discourse structures of English in their L2 writing.
In Seifoori et. al. (2012), the authors investigate the traits of an
effective EFL writing teacher. One conclusion drawn from their
investigation is that the effective EFL writing teacher instructs students on
how to “manipulate different texts” (p. 112). In Xiao (2007), the author
laments the counterproductive attitudes held by many college-level EFL
writing teachers in China, and suggests that EFL writing teachers “need to
emphasize both metacognitive strategic knowledge and self-regulation” (p.
26) to create a more desirable learning environment for the Chinese
students who are struggling to write in English.
According to these researchers, EFL students benefit when their
writing teacher offers explicit instruction concerning how to manipulate
texts, how to use different strategies, how to self-regulate, and so forth.
The manipulation of text, for example, can take place at different
rhetorical levels. Students can learn how to manipulate and control a text
at the macro level, as with argument structure. Likewise, students can
learn to manipulate and control a text at the micro level, as with word
choice and sentence variation.
In this chapter, I present a strategy for teaching traditional rhetorical
patterns to help students develop control of their texts at the micro level.
Based on my experience as an EFL teacher in Asia, teaching students how
to incorporate micro-level rhetorical patterns (such as figures of speech)
into their texts enables students to create texts that have more variety, are
more interesting to read, and are more audience-centered, because
rhetorical patterns are designed to appeal to readers’ senses and emotions,
as well as to their logic and reasoning. This approach treats writing as both
a craft and a process. As Freeman et. al. (2005) state, “[w]riting craft is the
wonderful set of skills and techniques that writers know and use to make
their writing clear and interesting” (p. 1). Knowing how to use figures of
speech is a particular skill and technique that EFL writers can acquire to
 Classical Rhetoric for the EFL Classroom 23

improve their writing. As will be shown, this technique can be particularly

valuable to the EFL writer during the revision phase of the writing process.
I first define rhetorical patterns and figures of speech, and I then
present my proposed strategy for teaching these to Chinese EFL students. I
present writing samples from students who are of a variety of ages and at
different skill levels. I make no claim that this is the only or best way to
teach EFL students rhetorical patterns. My purpose is to share with EFL
teachers and students what I have found to be successful in my classrooms,
with the hope that they may find this of interest and of some utility.

Rhetorical Patterns (Figures of Speech)

As Kelen (2007) remarks, rhetorical patterns are sometimes referred to
as figures of speech because people use them in their everyday speech (as
well as in their written discourse) “to create particular effects with words,
for instance to persuade a listener or reader” (p. 8). Kelen divides figures
of speech into two types: tropes and schemes.
Schemes involve re-patterning words—that is, altering the normal
ways in which words would be expected to fall together to make meaning;
tropes, by contrast, alter the meanings of words by altering the way in
which they mean… (p. 9).
In this paper, I focus on schemes. To illustrate the common use of
schemes in everyday discourse, here is part of a farewell speech given by
an American baseball player on the eve of his retirement:

Sure I’m lucky. When the New York Giants, a team you would give your
right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift-that’s something. When
everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats
remember you with trophies-that’s something. When you have a wonderful
mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter-
that’s something. When you have a father and a mother who work all their
lives so you can have an education and build your body-it’s a blessing. When
you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage
than you dreamed existed-that’s the finest I know. (Lou Gehrig on July 4,
1939, in New York)

Lou Gehrig was famous, but he was not a scholar, a politician, or a

polished orator. He used everyday words in his speech, and gave them
structure through the use of figures of speech and, through this structure,
produced the desired effect on his audience. For example, his sentences all
begin the same way (When…, or When you have…). This type of figure of
speech is called anaphora.
24 Chapter Two

Anaphora: The deliberate repetition of a word or phrase at the

beginning of several successive verses, clauses, or paragraphs. (The
American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition,
2000)

Gehrig’s sentences also share a parallel structure: they all begin with a
lengthy phrase and end with a short phrase, set apart by the use of the
hyphen. In his speech, these micro-level rhetorical devices (anaphora,
parallelism) create a crescendo effect. There is increasing importance
given to what is said, leading to the last words that include the superlative:
the finest. Gehrig wanted to thank many people on that day, and he wanted
to make sure that his wife received the highest praise. Rhetorical devices
are ever present in and vital to the discourse of a people, and for that
reason alone it is important for foreign language students to learn them.
In the next section, I outline how I teach figures of speech to EFL
students. In addition to the examples of anaphora and parallelism seen in
Gehrig’s speech, a number of other rhetorical patterns will be introduced
and illustrated.

Teaching Strategy
I divide my teaching strategy into four steps, each of which I explain in
order:

1. Pattern and Definition

2. Initial Practice
3. Guided Revision
4. Self-Regulated Revision

Step 1: Pattern and Definition

I introduce one figure of speech at a time. I do not introduce several at
once, which might confuse students or overwhelm them. I say the Greek or
Latin term for the figure out loud, and I have students try to spell it. I often
offer some type of reward to whoever comes up with the correct (or the
closest to the correct) spelling. It is interesting to see how students
appreciate the novelty of these classical terms, since they have generally
never heard or spelt them before. Here are five figures of speech, with
their pronunciation keys:
 Classicaal Rhetoric for the EFL Classrroom 25

1. Anaphoora [ԥ `næff ԥr ԥ ]
2. Chiasmmus [kaŸ`æzz mԥs ]
3. Epistropphe [Ÿ `pŸs trԥ fi ]
4. Isocolonn [aŸ soƘ `koƘ lԥn ]
5. Zeugmaa [`zug m
mԥ ]

After inttroducing the term (let’s saay I introduce zeugma) and how it is
spelt, I dictate two modeel sentences to t the studentts. The senten nces may
have been ccreated by me, m taken from m famous sppeeches, or written
w by
former studeents. In any caase, they mustt be simple annd clear. I doub ble check
to make surre that studennts have the sentences
s wriitten down co orrectly. I
sometimes hhave a studennt come to the board to w write the senteences as I
dictate, and the class and I make any necessary correections to the student’s
writing of thhe sentences. Alternatively,, instead of m
my reading theem, I may
ask a studennt to come to the
t front, to reead the two senntences to thee class.
Next, I aask students tot search for any noticeabble patterns in n the two
model senteences. I usuallyy pair studentts up for this aactivity. If necessary, I
provide studdents with cluues and hints that lead theem towards id dentifying
the pattern oof the chosen rhetorical deevice (such as underlying keywords,
k
connecting key parts witth arrows, and d so forth). P
Pairs of studeents share
their guessees with the rest of the classs and with m me. I accept alll guesses
and gently rrule out the inncorrect ones. Here are twoo sentences I haveh used
in the past too model zeugmma:

1. She ttouched my haand and my heeart.

2. Afterr the devastatiing storm, thee small town overflowed with
w water
and ffear.

In the caase of zeugmaa, I always assk students too underline th he verb in

the sentencee once, and thhe two objectss in the senteence twice. WeW discuss
issues relateed to the basicc meaning off the verb in ssimple terms, and how
the meaningg of the verbb applies to bothb a concrette object (tou
uched my
hand; overfflowed with water)
w and a more abstracct object (tou uched my
flowed with fear). I have the class producce their own definition
heart; overfl d
for this figuure of speech. If the class cannot do thhis, I provide a simple
definition orr ask a studennt to consult a dictionary annd share the definition.
d
Here are twwo definitions of zeugma, on ne created byy a class and one
o taken
from a dictioonary:

a. Zeuggma: A verb goes

g with two objects, one concrete and the other
abstrract.
26 Chapter Two

b. Zeugma: A construction in which a single word, especially a verb

or an adjective, is applied to two or more nouns when its sense is
appropriate to only one of them or to both in different ways, as in
He took my advice and my wallet. (American Heritage Dictionary
of the English Language, 4th edition, 2000)

Step 2: Initial Practice

Based on the model sentences and class discussion, students next
write two sentences of their own, using the same rhetorical device. I prefer
students to attempt to complete this step on their own, but students may
work together or consult one another. I offer assistance by writing more
example sentences on the board and helping students with their vocabulary
needs. Here are examples of zeugma that my Chinese EFL students have
produced:

1. She read the letters and my mind. (Ben, 9th grader)

2. He gave his money and his love to his wife. (Cindy, 11th grader)
3. Domestic violence injured their bodies and their relationship. (Lucy,
elementary school teacher)

For each figure of speech taught, students are asked to write two
additional sentences as homework, to be shared during the next class
meeting. Although all students share their sentences in groups, only some
share with the whole class. I also write some of their examples on the
board, for further discussion. I often have the class vote on the best, the
most original, or the funniest sentence(s), and reward students for their
creativity.

Step 3: Guided Revision

After I have taught a total of 10 figures of speech (over several class
sessions) and students have had an opportunity to practice them, I ask
students to bring a composition to the class that they have already written,
and which they wish to revise using figures of speech. I collect the
students’ compositions and choose one to analyze in class that day. I either
write the chosen composition on the board, or use a document projector to
show it to the whole class. If the composition is long, I select a few
paragraphs to focus upon.
I begin by identifying a sentence or a group of sentences for us to
modify, using one of our studied figures of speech. I bracket the sentence(s)
and ask students to think about how they would modify it, using the figure
 Classical Rhetoric for the EFL Classroom 27

of speech that I suggest to them. Students may work on this individually,

in pairs, or in small groups. Here is a sentence in a composition written by
“Cindy” (an 11th grader from Taiwan):

People are busy in the modern life.

I suggest that students practice revising this sentence using alliteration,

a figure of speech we have learned and practiced before. For instance, I
point out the consonant sounds [p], [b], and [m] all feature in this sentence,
in the three important words people, busy, and modern. The student-writer
(in this case, Cindy) is given the first opportunity to propose a revision to
her work, but all students make suggestions. I write many of their
suggestions on the board, and we continue with our modifications until we
think that we have produced an acceptable revision. Here is the revised
sentence which the class decided upon:

People are busy as bees, buzzing about in modern society.

As the reader can observe, a revision need not be perfect or polished,

but it does have to show the use of the figure of speech, and some
improvement over the original sentence. Here is another sentence in
Cindy’s original composition that we revised in class:

In this anxious time, it makes us feel down and full of pressure.

For this sentence, I suggested using anaphora. Repeating the process

described above, the class came up with the following revision:

We feel rushed, we feel anxious and pressured, we feel down and

depressed in our bustling cities.

One principle I follow during the course of practicing revisions with

students is to incorporate as much of the content of the original piece of
writing as possible (in this case, the expressions anxious, feel down,
pressure), so that the student-author still feels that it is her own work. In
fact, a student-author can veto a suggested change, as a way of exercising
control and ownership over their writing.
Let me now share the original piece that Cindy wrote and the revision
the class settled on. I always ask the student-author to read out loud both
the original work and the revised one, to hear how the two pieces of
writing sound, and to judge whether or not the revision is an improvement:
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sotapäällikön ja valtiaan vihaiset leijonankasvot. Pitkät,
alaspainuneet viikset antoivat niille synkän leiman. Hänen
silmäkulmansa olivat paraikaa jännitetyn tarkkaavaisuuden
rypyttämät, mutta helposti saattoi tajuta, että jos ne vihasta
rypistyivät, niin voi niitä ihmisiä, sitä sotajoukkoa, johon tämän vihan
salama iskee!

Tuossa miehessä oli jotakin niin suurta, että ritareista tuntui siltä,
kuin ei ainoastaan tämä huone, vaan vieläpä koko linna olisi hänelle
ahdas. Ensivaikutus ei heitä pettänytkään, sillä heidän edessään
istui Janusz Radziwill, Birźen ja Dubinkin ruhtinas, Vilnon vojevoda
ja Liettuan suurhetmani, niin mahtava ja ylpeä mies, että kaikki laajat
maatilansa, vieläpä Samogitian ja Liettuan hän tunsi itselleen liian
ahtaiksi.

Hänen nuorempi puhekumppaninsa, jolla oli tuo pitkä irtotukka ja

ulkomaalainen puku, oli hänen serkkunsa, hovitallimestari, ruhtinas
Boguslaw. Hän kuiskasi vielä jotakin hetmanin korvaan ja sanoi
sitten kuuluvasti:

— Minä kirjoitan siis asiakirjan alle ja sitten lähden matkalle.

— Jos se on välttämätöntä, niin lähde, — vastasi Janusz, — mutta

mieluummin pitäisin sinut täällä, sillä ei tiedä, mitä voi tapahtua.

— Onhan täällä varustauduttu kaiken varalta, mutta siellä asiat

vaativat minun mieskohtaista läsnäoloani. Siis Jumalan haltuun!

— Adieu, mon frère! [Hyvästi, veljeni!]

— Adieu.
 Molemmat ruhtinaat ojensivat kätensä toisilleen, ja hovitallimestari
poistui nopein askelin. Sitten suurhetmani kääntyi odottavien ritarien
puoleen.

— Suokaa anteeksi, hyvät herrat, että olen odotuttanut, — sanoi

hän matalalla äänellä verkalleen, — mutta nykyään on niin paljon
asioita. Olen jo kuullut teidän nimenne ja iloitsen hengessäni, että
Jumala juuri tällaiseen aikaan lähetti minulle niin erinomaiset ritarit.
Käykää istumaan, hyvät vieraat. Kuka herroista on herra Jan
Skrzetuski.

— Minä, teidän ylhäisyytenne, — vastasi Jan.

— Te olette kai staarosta… suokaa anteeksi, olin unohtanut..

— En minä ole staarosta, — vastasi Jan.

— Mitä? — sanoi ruhtinas rypistäen komeita kulmakarvojaan. -

Eikö teille ole myönnetty staarostan arvoa siitä, mitä olette tehnyt
Zbarazin luona?

— Sitä en ole koskaan itselleni tavoitellut.

— Teidän olisi pitänyt saada se tavoittelematta. Onko se, mitä

sanotte, mahdollista? Eikö teitä ole siis millään palkittu? Teidät on
siis kokonaan unohdettu. Minä ihmettelen… ei, mitä minä
sanoinkaan, eihän se ole ensinkään ihmeellistä nykyjään, jolloin
ainoastaan nöyräselkäisiä palkitaan. Vai niin, vai ette te ole
staarosta!… Jumalan kiitos, että tulitte tänne, sillä täällä ei unohdeta
yhtä helposti eikä jätetä palveluksia palkitsematta… samoin kuin ei
teitäkään, eversti Wolodyjowski.

— En ole ansainnut vielä…

 — Jättäkää se minun harkittavakseni ja ottakaa nyt tämä Rosienyn
tuomioistuimessa vahvistettu asiakirja, jolla siirrän Dydkiemien
teidän elinkautiseksi omaisuudeksenne. Se on aika hyvä palanen
maata, jota joka kevät kyntää sata auraa. Enempää en voi tällä
kertaa antaa, mutta ottakaa nyt se ja sanokaa herra Skrzetuskille,
että Radziwill ei koskaan unohda ystäviään eikä myöskään niitä,
jotka ovat tehneet hänen johdollaan palveluksia isänmaalle.

— Teidän ylhäisyytenne… — änkytti Michal herra hämillään.

— Älkää puhuko mitään, ja suokaa anteeksi, että se on niin vähän,

mutta sanokaa kaikille ystävillenne, että sen ei käy huonosti, joka
niin hyvin vaikeina kuin hyvinä aikoina asettaa voimansa Radziwillien
käytettäväksi. En ole kuningas, mutta jos se olisin, voi Jumala
todistaa, etten milloinkaan unohtaisi sellaisia miehiä kuin Jan
Skrzetuski tai Zagloba…

— Se olen minä! — ehätti Zagloba astuen ripeästi esille, sillä hän

oli jo alkanut käydä kärsimättömäksi, kun häntä ei oltu muistettu.

— Kyllä arvasin, että te olitte juuri se, sillä minulle on kerrottu, että
Zagloba on jo ikämies.

— Olen ollut teidän ylhäisyytenne korkean isän koulutoveri, ja kun

hänessäkin oli jo lapsesta saakka ritarillisia taipumuksia, tuli minusta
hänen uskottunsa, koska minäkin pidin enemmän keihäästä kuin
latinasta.

Herra Stanislaw Skrzetuski, joka ei vielä tuntenut Zaglobaa,

ihmetteli, sillä viimeksi eilen oli herra Zagloba Upitassa sanonut
olevansa, ei ruhtinas Krzysztof-vainajan, vaan itse Janusz-ruhtinaan
koulutoveri, mikä muuten oli mahdotonta, koska Janusz-ruhtinas oli
paljon nuorempi Zaglobaa.

— Todellako? — virkkoi ruhtinas? — Siinä tapauksessa olette

Liettuasta?

— Niin olen, — vastasi herra Zagloba empimättä.

— No sitten ei ole ihme, jos tekin olette jäänyt palkintoa vaille, sillä
me liettualaiset olemme jo tottuneet siihen, että meitä ruokitaan
kiittämättömyydellä… Totisesti, jos minä antaisin teillekin
ansioittenne mukaan, ei minulle itselleni jäisi mitään. Sellainen on
meidän kohtalomme! Me uhraamme veremme, henkemme,
omaisuutemme, eikä kukaan edes päännyökkäyksellä kiitä meitä.
Mutta mitä he kylvävät, sitä saakoot myös niittää… Sitä vaativat
Jumala ja oikeudenmukaisuus… Tehän kaadoitte kuuluisan Burlajn
ja sivalsitte yhdellä iskulla kolme päätä Zbarazin luona?

— Kyllä minä kaadoin Burlajn, teidän ylhäisyytenne, — vastasi

Zagloba. — Kun kerrottiin, että hänelle kukaan ei vedä vertoja, niin
minä päätin näyttää nuoremmille veljille, että on valtakunnassa vielä
urhoollisuutta. Mutta mitä niihin kolmeen päähän tulee, mikä on
minulta kyllä saattanut tapahtua taistelun tuoksinassa, niin Zbarazin
luona sen teki eräs toinen.

Ruhtinas vaikeni hetkisen ja jatkoi:

— Eikö teitä suututa se kiittämättömyys, jolla tekojanne on

palkittu?

— Minkäpä sille mahtaa, teidän ylhäisyytenne, vaikka

harmittaakin, — vastasi Zagloba.
 — Lohduttakaa itseänne sillä, että tässä täytyy tulla muutos…
Yksistään senkin tähden, että te olette tullut tänne, olen minä teidän
velallisenne, ja joskaan en ole kuningas, niin tämä ei ole päättyvä
pelkkiin lupauksiin.

— Teidän ylhäisyytenne, ruhtinas, — puuttui herra Jan Skrzetuski

innostuneesti ja hiukan ylpeästi puheeseen, — me emme ole tulleet
tänne palkintojen ja omaisuuden toivossa… Vihollinen on astunut
isänmaahamme, ja sentähden me tahdomme rientää sen avuksi
etevän sotapäällikön johdolla. Minun serkkuni Stanislaw on
Ujsciessa omin silmin nähnyt meidän pelkuruutemme, huonon
järjestyksemme ja petollisuutemme ja loppujen lopuksi vihollisen
voiton. Täällä me tahdomme ruveta sotapalvelukseen suuren
päällikön ja isänmaan ja kuninkaan puolustajan johdolla. Täällä
vihollista eivät voitot odota, vaan tuho ja tappio… Sentähden
olemme tulleet tarjoamaan palvelustamme teidän ylhäisyydellenne.
Me olemme sotilaita ja tahdomme taistella. — Jos se on toivonne,
niin tulee sekin täyttymään, — vastasi ruhtinas arvokkaasti. —
Teidän ei tarvitse odottaa kauan, vaikka lähdemmekin ensin toista
vihollista vastaan, sillä meidän täytyy kostaa Vilnon tuhka ja rauniot.
Jollei tänään, niin huomenna lähdemme liikkeelle, ja silloin saa
vihollinen maksaa moninkertaisesti… En tahdo pidättää teitä
kauempaa, hyvät herrat, sillä teidän pitää nyt levätä, ja sitäpaitsi on
minulla paljon työtä. Pyydän teitä tänä iltana luokseni huvittelemaan
ennen lähtöä. Kiejdanyyn on saapunut paljon naisia sotaa pakoon.
Herra eversti, kestitkää vieraitani kuin omassa talossanne ja
muistakaa, mikä on minun, se on myös teidän!… Herra
Harasimowicz, sanokaa tuonne saliin kokoontuneille, etten voi ottaa
vastaan nyt, en jouda, mutta illalla he saavat tietää mitä haluavat…
Voikaa hyvin, hyvät herrat, ja olkaa Radziwillin ystäviä; hän tarvitsee
nyt sellaisia kuin te. Sen sanottuaan tuo mahtava ja ylpeä ruhtinas
ojensi kätensä vuoron perään kullekin kuin vertaiselleen.
Hyväntahtoinen ja lempeä hymy valaisi hänen jylhiä kasvojaan, ja se
luoksepääsemättömyys, joka tavallisesti ympäröi häntä synkeänä
pilvenä, katosi kokonaan.

— Kas siinä on sotilas ja sotapäällikkö! — innostui Stanislaw

Skrzetuski, kun he audienssisalissa tunkeutuivat väkijoukon läpi.

— Minä voisin mennä vaikka tuleen hänen tähtensä! — huusi

Zagloba. — Huomasitteko, että hän tiesi ulkoa kaikki minun
urotyöni?… Kun se leijona alkaa karjua ja minä yhdyn peliin, niin
saatte nähdä, että ruotsalaisten korvia kuumoittaa. Hänen
vertaistaan ei ole nyt koko valtakunnassa. Hän ei ole mikään
kastellaani, joka senaattorin paikalle istuttuaan heti nostaa nenänsä
pystyyn ja alkaa sanoa aatelisia nuoremmiksi veljikseen jo
ennenkuin roimahousut ovat alkaneet kiiltää virkatuolin hyväilystä…
Michal, sinun kävi hyvin!… Näkyypä olevan niin, että ken itseään
Radziwilliin hankaa, saa heti kuluneen nuttunsa kullatuksi. Täällä
saa helpommin maita ja muonaa kuin meillä edes romua ja kuonaa.
Siinä on miesten mies! Onni sinua potkaisi, Michal! Hämilläsi olit kuin
morsian vihkimisen jälkeen.

— Minä jouduin todellakin hämille, — myönsi Michal, — mutta

mitä sanot maista ja muonasta, ei ole totta. Olen useasti kuullut
vanhojen sotilaitten valittavan ruhtinaan saituutta. Ja nyt alkaa
armonosoituksia kuitenkin satamalla sataa.

— Jos ken vielä uskaltaa haukkua ruhtinasta saidaksi, niin lyö sille
haukkujalle tuo asiakirja vasten naamaa. Parempaa todistusta et voi
keksiä.
 — Yksi seikka on selvä, — virkkoi Jan Skrzetuski. — Ruhtinaalla
on suunnitelmia, joitten toteuttamiseen hän tarvitsee apua.

He olivat tulleet linnanpihalle, jolle ilmestyi uusia

ratsuväenosastoja, aatelisjoukkoja ja vaunuja tuoden ympäristön
ylimyksiä vaimoineen ja lapsineen. Michal Wolodyjowski vei
toverinsa portin luo, jotta he paremmin näkisivät tulijat.

— Kuka tietää, Michal, ehkä on tänään sinun onnesi päivä, —

sanoi herra Zagloba. — Ehkä on sinun tuleva puolisosi noitten
vaunuissa ajavain aatelistyttärien joukossa. Katsohan, noissa
avonaisissa vaunuissa lähestyy meitä valkoinen olento…

— Ei ole se mikään vihille kelpaava neitonen, mutta vihkimisen

toimittajaksi kyllä omansa, — vastasi tarkkasilmäinen Wolodyjowski.
— Se on piispa Parczewski ja hänen vieressään pater Bialozor,
Vilnon arkkidiakoni.

— Tulevatko hekin tervehtimään kalvinilaista ruhtinasta?

— Minkä sille mahdat, kun asiat niin vaativat.

— Hei vaan! Kylläpäs täällä on hilua ja melua, — huudahti herra

Zagloba iloisesti. — Olen maalla ruostunut kuin vanha lukko…
Muistelenpa nyt menneitä aikoja. Hölmö olen, jollen tänä iltana iske
johonkin aatelisneitoseen!

Jonkin matkan päässä piispan vaunuista näkyi joukko ratsastavia

sotilaita.

— Ne ovat Ganchoffin rakuunoita, tunnen kyllä, — selitti

Wolodyjowski.
— Mutta keskellä niitä näkyvät vaunut!…
Rummut alkoivat päristä.

— Oho! Se kuuluu olevankin tärkeä henkilö! — huudahti Zagloba.

 Ruhtinas Janusz Radziwillin vaakunoilla koristetuissa vaunuissa,
joitten edessä oli neljä valkoista oritta, istui kaksi komeata,
ulkomaalaisesti puettua herraa. Heillä oli leveälieriset hatut päässä,
ja hattujen alta valuivat vaaleat irtotukan suortuvat aina hartioille
saakka osaksi peittäen korkeat pitsikaulukset. Toinen heistä oli lyhyt,
mutta rotevarakenteinen; hänellä oli kiilamainen parta ja pystyt
viikset. Toinen, nuorempi, oli kokonaan mustissa ja ulkomuodoltaan
vähemmän sotilaallinen, mutta mahtoi olla arvoltaan korkeampi,
koska hänellä oli kaulassa kultaiset vitjat ja vitjoissa kallisarvoinen
ritarikunnan merkki. Molemmat lienevät olleen ulkomaalaisia, koska
he niin uteliaasti katselivat linnaa, ihmisiä ja pukuja.

— Mitä paholaisia nuo ovat? — kysyi Zagloba.

— En tunne enkä ole koskaan nähnyt! — vastasi Wolodyjowski.

Vaunut ajoivat pihalle ja tehtyään puoliympyrän pysähtyivät linnan

päärakennuksen eteen. Rakuunat olivat pysähtyneet portin luo.

Wolodyjowski tunsi heidän upseerinsa.

— Tokarzewicz! — huusi hän. — Hyvää päivää!

— Päivää, herra eversti!

— Mitä miehiä te tänne toitte?

— Ruotsalaisia ovat.

— Ruotsalaisia?

— Niin. Ja suuria herroja. Se lihava on kreivi Lewenhaupt ja

laihempi on Pentti Skytte, paroni von Duderhoff.
 — Duderhoff? — huusi Zagloba.

— Mitä ne täällä tekevät?! — kysyi herra Wolodyjowski.

— Jumala ties! — vastasi upseeri. — Olemme tuoneet heidät

Birźestä tänne. Ehkä he ovat saapuneet neuvottelemaan
ruhtinaamme kanssa, sillä Birźessä kerrottiin ruhtinaan kokoavan
suurta sotajoukkoa ja hyökkäävän ensin Liivinmaahan.

— Niitä lurjuksia! Jänistävät! — huusi Zagloba. — Ensin valtasivat

Suur-Puolan ja ajoivat kuninkaan pois pääkaupungistaan, mutta nyt
ovat jo valmiit ryömimään Radziwillin edessä ja rukoilemaan, ettei
tämä hyökkäisi Liivinmaahan. Mutta vartokaa vain, te Duderhoffit,
kyllä teille tulee vielä niin tulinen lähtö, että housunne saattavat
pudota. Kohta me teitä kopistelemme! Eläköön Radziwill!

— Eläköön! — kannatti portin luona seisova aateli.

— Defensor patriae! Isänmaan puolustaja! Ruotsalaisia vastaan!

Ruotsalaisia vastaan!

Ritariemme ympäri muodostui piiri, johon liittyi yhä useampia

aatelisia. Kun Zagloba huomasi sen, kapusi hän portinpylväälle ja
alkoi huutaa:

— Hyvät herrat, kuulkaa! Ken minua ei tunne, sille sanon, että

olen se sama Zagloba, joka Zbarazin luona kaatoi Burlajn, kasakkain
suurimman hetmanin Chmielnickin jälkeen, ja tällä vanhalla kädellä
minä sen tein. Mutta se, joka ei Zaglobasta ole kuullut puhuttavan,
se on varmasti ensimmäisen kasakkasodan aikana perannut
herneitä kotona, ruokkinut kananpoikia tai paimentanut vasikoita,
mitä en suinkaan voi sanoa teidän kaltaisistanne ritareista.
 — Se on suuri soturi! — kuului ääniä. — Koko valtakunnassa ei
ole sen suurempaa!… Kuulkaa, mitä hän puhuu!

— Niin, kuulkaa, hyvät herrat! Vanhojen luitteni olisi jo tehnyt mieli

levätä, ja olisihan minun jo ollutkin aika loikoa uunin pankolla, syödä
pöhöpiimää kerman kera, käyskennellä puutarhassa omenoita
kokoillen, kädet puuskassa katsella elonleikkaajien työtä tai nipistellä
tyttösten poskipäitä. Varmaan olisi vihollinenkin oman etunsa tähden
jättänyt minut rauhaan, koska sekä ruotsalaiset että kasakat tietävät,
minkälaista jälkeä käteni tekee…

— Mitä tuo kana tuolla ylhäällä kaakottaa — kysyi samassa ääni

joukosta.

— Älä häiritse! Pidä suusi kiinni! — huusivat toiset.

Mutta Zagloba oli kuullut kysymyksen.

— Hyvät herrat, suokaa anteeksi tuolle kukonpojalle, — huusi hän,

— koska hän ei vielä tiedä, missä on häntä, missä pää.

Aateliset räjähtivät riemuisaan nauruun, mutta niskoittelija

painautui kiireimmän kautta väkijoukkoon yleisenä pilkanesineenä.

— Mutta asiaan! — lausui Zagloba. — Kuten sanottu, olisihan

minun ollut jo aika saada levätä, mutta koska isänmaa kärsii, koska
vihollinen tallaa maatamme, olen minä täällä lähteäkseni yhdessä
teidän kanssanne vihollista vastaan sen maaemon nimessä, joka on
meidät kaikki kasvattanut. Se, joka nyt ei puolusta häntä, joka ei
hänelle uhria tuo, se ei ole hänen oma poikansa, vaan
poikapuolensa, eikä ansaitse hänen rakkauttaan. Minä, vanha mies,
lähden taistelemaan, ja jos kaadun, niin tulen viimeisessä
hengenvedossa huutamaan: Surma ruotsalaisille! Vannokaamme,
ettemme hellitä kättä miekankahvasta, ennenkuin vihollinen on ajettu
maasta pois!…

— Siihen olemme vannomattakin valmiit! — huusivat useat. — Me

lähdemme minne ruhtinaamme meidät vie!

— Hyvät herrat!… Veljet! Te näitte nuo kahdet roimahousut, jotka

kullatuissa vaunuissa ajoivat tänne. He tietävät, ettei Radziwillien
kanssa sovi leikitellä, ja tulevat rukoilemaan häntä jättämään
ruotsalaiset rauhaan. Mutta ruhtinas, jonka luona äsken juuri kävin,
on koko Liettuan nimessä vakuuttanut, että neuvottelut ja
pergamentit eivät tule enää kysymykseen, vaan sota, sota!

— Sota! Sota! — toistivat kuulijat kaikuna.

— Mutta koska sotapäällikkökin, — jatkoi Zagloba, — on sitä

varmempi ja rohkeampi, mitä lujemmin hän sotilaihinsa luottaa, niin
näyttäkäämme, hyvät herrat, mitä miehiä olemme. Menkäämme
tuonne linnanikkunain alle huutamaan: Surma ruotsalaisille! Tulkaa
mukanani!

Zagloba hyppäsi alas pylväältä ja marssi linnan pihan yli sorisevan

väkijoukon seuraamana. Kun he olivat tulleet aivan ikkunan alle,
puhkesi kaikkien suusta:

— Surma ruotsalaisille! Surma ruotsalaisille!

Kohta syöksyi Wendenin vojevoda Korf hämmästyneenä eteisestä

ja hänen jäljessään ruhtinaallisen ratsuväenrykmentin eversti
Ganchoff. Molemmat koettivat hillitä aatelisia ja kehoittivat
innokkaasti heitä hajaantumaan.
 — Hyvä Jumala! — huusi herra Korf, — tuolla ylhäällä
ikkunaruudut helisevät. Te ette tiedä kuinka sopimattomaan aikaan
huutonne kajahtivat. Mitenkä voitte osoittaa läheteille
pahansuopuutta ja sotilaille kurittomuutta? Kuka sen pani alulle?

— Minä! — vastasi Zagloba. — Tervehtikää ruhtinasta meidän

kaikkien puolestamme ja sanokaa, että hän pysyisi lujana, sillä me
olemme valmiit taistelemaan viimeiseen veripisaraan saakka.

— Kiitän teitä hetmanin nimessä, kiitän teitä, mutta hajaantukaa!

Järkevyyttä, hyvät herrat, järkevyyttä, muuten suistatte isänmaanne
perikatoon. Se, joka tänään osoittaa mieltään lähettejä vastaan,
tekee isänmaalle karhunpalveluksen.

— Viis me läheteistä, me tahdomme tapella emmekä neuvotella!

— Teidän sotainen innostuksenne ilahduttaa minua. Hyvin pian

tulee hetki, jolloin saatte sitä purkaa. Lähtekää nyt lepäämään ennen
lähtöä. Eikö ryyppy viinaa olisi nyt paikallaan? Huonoa on tapella
kuivin suin.

— Totinen tosi! — huusi herra Zagloba ensimmäisenä.

— Totinen tosi! Nyt, kun ruhtinas tietää meidän mielemme, ei

meillä ole täällä mitään tekemistä.

Joukko alkoi hajaantua lähtien suurimmaksi osaksi

kylkirakennukseen, jossa pitkät, katetut pöydät jo odottivat. Herra
Zagloba asteli ensimmäisenä.

Herrat Korf ja Ganchoff palasivat ruhtinaan luo, joka neuvotteli

ruotsalaisten lähettien ja useiden puolalaisten ylimysten kansa.
 — Kuka siellä oli pannut tuon hälinän alulle? — kysyi ruhtinas,
jonka leijonankasvoilta viha ei vielä ollut sammunut.

— Se oli tuo äskettäin saapunut aatelismies… se kuuluisa

Zagloba, — vastasi Wendenin vojevoda.

— Urhea soturi, — virkkoi ruhtinas, — mutta kovinpa pian hän

alkaa asioihin sekaantua.

Sen sanottuaan hän viittasi eversti Ganchoffille ja kuiskasi jotakin

tämän korvaan.

Mutta sillävälin astui herra Zagloba tyytyväisenä kylkirakennusta

kohti, ja hänen jäljessään herrat Skrzetuski ja Wolodyjowski, joille
hän sanoi:

— Kas niin, ystäväni, tuskin olin näyttäytynyt, kun aatelissa heräsi

isänmaanrakkaus. Nyt on ruhtinaan helpompi lähettää nuo lähetit
matkoihinsa, sillä hänen tarvitsee vain vedota meidän
mielipiteeseemme. Luulenpa, ettei tämä jää palkitsematta, vaikka en
tehnytkään sitä palkinnon toivossa. No, mitä sinä, hyvä Michal, noita
portista ajavia vaunuja noin töllistelet, ikäänkuin silmäsi olisivat
kivettyneet?

— Se on hän, — vastasi Michal Wolodyjowski viiksiään sivellen.

— Kautta
Jumalani, se on hän!

— Kuka hän?

— Neiti Billewicz.

— Sekö, joka sinulle rukkaset lahjoitti?…

 — Se… Oh, hyvät herrat, minä ihan sorrun surusta!

— No, katsotaanpa, onko se hän! — sanoi Zagloba.

Sillävälin olivat vaunut lähestyneet. Niissä istui komea aatelismies,

jonka viikset olivat hieman harmaantuneet, ja hänen vieressään
Aleksandra-neiti kauniina kuin ainakin, rauhallisena ja vakavana.

Michal-herra katsoi häneen surullisesti ja kumarsi syvään, mutta

neiti ei huomannut häntä tungoksessa. Zagloba katseli neidin
hienoja ja jaloja piirteitä sanoen:

— Siinä on sitten julman suloinen tyttö, hyvä mies, mutta liian

hieno hän on sotamiehelle. Minä tunnustan, että hän on silmän ilo,
mutta sittenkin minä pidän enemmän sellaisesta, josta et voi suin
päin sanoa, onko se tykki vai nainen.

— Voitteko sanoa, kuka tuo on, joka ajoi juuri portaitten eteen? —
kysyi herra Wolodyjowski vieressään seisovalta aateliselta.

— Kyllä, — vastasi tämä. — Se on herra Tomasz Billewicz,

kuninkaallinen miekankantaja [ylhäinen arvonimi muinaisessa
Puolassa] Rosienysta. Kaikki täällä tuntevat hänet, sillä hän on
Radziwillin vanha ystävä ja palvelija.
KOLMASTOISTA LUKU.

Sinä päivänä ruhtinas ei näyttäytynyt aatelisille ennen kuin illalla.

Hän söi päivällistä yhdessä lähettien ja niitten ylimysten kanssa,
jotka olivat ottaneet osaa äskeiseen neuvotteluun. Everstit saivat
käskyn pitää Radziwillin hovin rykmentit, etenkin ulkomaalaisten
johtamat jalkaväenosastot, valmiina kaiken varalta. Ilmassa tuntui
ruudin hajua. Odotettiin sotaretkelle lähdön tapahtuvan viimeistään
seuraavana aamuna, mihin kaikki merkit viittasivat. Ruhtinaan
monilukuinen palvelijajoukko lastasi kuormiin aseita, arvoesineitä ja
rahakirstuja.

Harasimowicz kertoi, että kuormat lähetetään Tykociniin

Podlahiassa, koska olisi varomatonta säilyttää ruhtinaan hallussa
olevia varoja Kiejdanyn linnoittamattomassa palatsissa. Myöskin
muonakuormasto varustettiin valmiiksi, ja sen oli määrä seurata
sotajoukkoa.

Levisi huhu, että sotahetmani Gosiewski oli vangittu siksi, ettei hän
suostunut yhdistämään joukkojaan Radziwillin joukkoihin, minkä
kautta koko sotaretki olisi tullut vaaranalaiseksi. Lähtövalmistukset,
kuten tykkien jyrinä, kun niitä vedettiin ulos linnan asekartanosta, ja
tuo ennen sotaretkelle lähtöä niin tavallinen sekamelska, saivat
kuitenkin herra Gosiewskin ja maltalaisritari Judyckin vangitsemisen
unohduksiin.

Aateliset, jotka söivät päivällistä kylkirakennuksen isoissa saleissa,

eivät puhuneet mistään muusta kuin sodasta, Vilnon palosta,
Varsovan uutisista ja ruotsalaisista, joille kaikki olivat katkeroituneita
kavalan hyökkäyksen tähden naapurin kimppuun vastoin
rauhansopimusta. Sanomat heidän nopeasta edistymisestään,
Ujscien antautumisesta, Suur-Puolan valtauksesta, Masovian ja
Varsovan välttämättömästä antautumisesta eivät herättäneet pelkoa,
vaan päinvastoin kohottivat sotaista innostusta, Ruotsalaisten
menestymisen syytä pidettiin näet päivänselvänä: he eivät olleet
vielä kertaakaan kohdanneet kunnollista armeijaa eikä todellista
ylipäällikköä. Radziwill oli ensimmäinen ammattisoturi, jonka kanssa
he tulisivat voimiaan mittelemään, ja aateliset tunsivat häntä kohtaan
horjumatonta luottamusta. Sitäpaitsi everstit vakuuttivat, että he
tulisivat lyömään ruotsalaiset avoimessa taistelussa.

— Kyllä se niin on! — selitti herra Michal Stankiewicz, vanha ja

kokenut sotilas. — Minä muistan hyvin entiset sodat ja tiedän, että
ruotsalaiset ovat aina puolustautuneet linnoituksissa tai vallien
takana eivätkä koskaan uskaltaneet avoimeen taisteluun, ja jos he
ovatkin sen tehneet, niin he ovat saaneet aika opetuksen. Voitto ei
ole antanut Suur-Puolaa heidän haltuunsa, vaan petos ja nostoväen
kelvottomuus.

— Juuri niin! — kannatti herra Zagloba. — He ovat

heikkorakenteista kansaa, sillä heidän maansa on kovin
hedelmätöntä, mistä johtuu, että leipää ei ole. Sentähden he
jauhavat puitten käpyjä jauhoiksi ja leipovat siitä pihkalle haisevia
hiilikoita. Toiset kuljeskelevat rantoja pitkin ja syövät mitä laineet
sattuvat tuomaan rantaan. Nälkäistä roskaväkeä he ovat, ja
sentähden maailmassa ei olekaan toista kansaa, joka olisi heitä
ahnaampi toisen omaisuuteen nähden. Tataareillakin on edes
hevosenlihaa tarpeeksi, mutta ruotsalaiset eivät näe lihaa joskus
vuosikauteen ja kuolisivat varmasti nälkään, jollei meri soisi heille
antimiaan. Entä milloinka te, herra Stankiewicz, olette tehnyt
tuttavuutta ruotsalaisten kanssa?

— Nykyisen hetmanin isän, Krzysztof-ruhtinaan aikana.

— Minä herra Koniecpolskin, nykyisen lipunkantajan isän aikana.

Kyllä me annoimme Kustaa Aadolfille Preussissa oikein miehen
kädestä ja otimme vahvasti vankeja. Siellä minä tulin tuntemaan
heidät ja kaikki heidän metkunsa. Meidän miehemme tekivät heistä
pientä pilaa. Kuten herrat kaiketi tietävät, niin ruotsalaiset, jotka
alinomaa kahlata lotistavat vedessä ja hankkivat ravintonsa merestä,
ovat uimareina kerrassaan exquisitissimi [erinomaisia]. Me
käskimme heitä näyttämään taitoaan, ja mitä arvelette: kun heitit
lurjuksen avantoon, niin se toisesta sukelsi esiin — elävä silli
kuonossa.

— Hyväinen aika, mitä te sanotte?!

— Luhistukoon ruumiini tähän paikkaan, jollen nähnyt omin silmin

sellaista ainakin sata kertaa, Muistanpa senkin, kuinka he kiskoivat
nahkoihinsa preussilaista limppua niin navakasti, etteivät sitten
raskineet kotiinsa lähteä. Herra Stankiewicz sanoo aivan oikein, ettei
heistä ole sotilaiksi. Heidän jalkaväkensä vielä menee mukiin, mutta
ratsuväki — Herra varjelkoon! Heillä ei ole hevosia isänmaassaan,
eivätkä he voi siis nuorena totutella ratsastamaan.
 Päivällisen jälkeen ruhtinas kutsui everstit vuoron perään
luokseen. He ihmettelivät jonkinverran sitä, että ruhtinas kutsui
yhden kerrallaan, mutta mieluista oli se ihmettely, kun he palasivat
kukin jokin lahja kädessä. Ruhtinas puolestaan vaati vain
uskollisuutta ja luottamusta. Hetmani kyseli myöskin innokkaasti,
oliko herra Kmicic saapunut, ja käski heti ilmoittamaan, kun hän
tulee.

Kmicic saapuikin, mutta vasta myöhään illalla, kun vieraat jo

alkoivat kokoontua kirkkaasti valaistuihin saleihin. Asekartanossa
hän tapasi herra Wolodyjowskin ja tutustui tämän seuralaisiin.

— Julman hauskaa, että tapasin teidät ja teidän kuuluisat

kumppaninne! — huudahti hän ravistaen pienen ritarin kättä. — On
kuin veljen olisin tavannut! Te voitte luottaa sanoihini, sillä minä en
osaa teeskennellä. Tosin kyllä te pitelitte minua silloin aika pahasti,
mutta sitten nostitte minut jaloilleni, ja sitä en eläessäni unohda.
Kaikkien kuullen sanon tässä suoraan, että ellei teitä olisi ollut, niin
ristikon takana nyt istuisin. Jumala suokoon, että maailmassa olisi
enemmän sellaisia miehiä kuin te. Joka on toista mieltä, se on lurjus,
ja vieköön minut itse paholainen, jollen siltä lyö korvia päästä.

— Rauhoittukaa!

— Menisin vaikka tuleen teidän tähtenne! Ken ei usko, astukoon

esiin!

Kmicic katsoi haastavasti upseereihin, mutta kukaan ei väittänyt

vastaan, sillä kaikki rakastivat ja kunnioittivat Michal Wolodyjowskia.
Zagloba vain virkkoi:
 — Tulinen mies! Minusta tuntuu, että tulen pitämään teistä. Mutta
sanokaahan, minkä arvoinen tuo Wolodyjowski oikein on.

— Enemmän kuin kaikki te yhteensä! — huusi Kmicic hillittömästi.

Silmäiltyään ritareita hän lisäsi: — Suokaa anteeksi, minä en tahdo
loukata ketään, sillä pidän teitä kelpo kansalaisina ja suurina
sotureina… Älkää suuttuko, sillä lemmessä tahtoisin voittaa teidän
ystävyytenne.

— Mitäpä tuosta, — virkkoi Jan Skrzetuski. — Sydämen

kyllyydestä suu puhuu.

— Syleilkäämme! — huudahti herra Zagloba.

— Sanottu ja tehty!

He syleilivät toisiaan.

— Nyt pitäisi saada ryypyt päälle!… — sanoi Kmicic.

— Siihen ei minua tarvitse kahta kertaa kehoittaa! — vastasi

Zagloba kuin kaiku.

— Pujahtakaamme aikaisemmin pois ruhtinaan pidoista tänne.

Kyllä minä pidän huolta, että saamme juotavaa.

Michal-herra alkoi innokkaasti nyhtää viiksiään.

»Luulenpa, ettet niinkään hevillä sieltä pois pujahda, jahka näet

kuka siellä on…» — ajatteli hän itsekseen silmäillen Kmiciciä.

Ja hän oli jo avaamaisillaan suunsa ilmoittaakseen Kmicicille

Oleńkan tulosta, mutta pidättäytyi siitä samassa ja kysyi: