Dying to Love

Reese Rivers
 Copyright © 2021 Reese Rivers
Dying to Love
Ebook Edition
All Rights Reserved

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations,

and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are
used fictitiously.
Cover Art by Crimson Phoenix Creations
 FAIR WARNING DEAR
READERS
Suicidal thoughts are referenced.
Detailed sex scenes and copious amounts of swearing, like, A
LOT of both are in this book. The main female character does not
have to choose between four men. She chooses them all.
If this is a family member, thank you for supporting me, now step
away from the book. Seriously...Thanksgiving will be hella weird if
you don't!
 AUTHOR’S NOTE

My biggest thanks to Ginna Moran for tempting me into the

amazing world of Reverse Harem!
Thank you to my ride or die bestie, Rachelle. Your
encouragement is everything to me.
My husband who makes all my dreams come true. Thank you for
all the work you put in on my books. Love you babe.
To the red shirt guy - sorry, your fate was written in the stars.

Reach out on the Reese Rivers reader group:

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 TIMELINE

662 – Days since the dead rose up

413 – Days since I’ve spoken to another
living human
4 – Men who have climbed my fence
looking for safety
1 – Last chance for Love
 KELSEY

snuggle deeper under the comforter, trying to find the will to get up
I and face another day but sometimes the emptiness of my
existence makes me want to just not bother. Waking up to this
emptiness, this desire to just quit, is becoming more and more
frequent as the days go by. As I stare up at the ceiling, I wonder if
today is the day that I'll finally find the courage to end it all. Even
though I’ve just woken up I’m exhausted and it takes everything I
have to throw back the covers and swing my legs over the side of
the bed to the floor. There’s a wall of mirrors that hides the closet
that I’m facing and I take stock of my ragged appearance. Limp,
greasy hair the color of mahogany falls tangled and dull just below
my breasts in length. Dark purple smudges look like shadows below
my lifeless gray eyes. Eyes that are practically hidden under brows
that haven’t seen a tweezer in months. My skin is dull, even with the
light tan I’ve gotten from all the work I put in on the crops. I make a
face as my gaze goes lower and shift slightly to the side so that I can
see the outline of my ribs through the tight tank I wore to bed. I’m at
least twenty pounds under a healthy weight and it's not even
because of a lack of food.
Cooking and sitting down to a meal for one just emphasizes how
alone I am and has stolen most of my appetite so now I just nibble
quick bites here and there throughout the day, never sitting down to
a full meal. My lips tug up in a smirk as I look at the forest of hair
that's grown out on my pale legs and I wonder briefly if I could braid
that shit. I could start a new style if there was anyone left alive to
follow it. Apocalypse body braids, yeah, it could totally be a trend.
 I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I've been here before.
This state of mind. This is the start of a steep slide that ends with a
gun barrel pressed against my forehead and my finger hovering over
the trigger.
Tara settles onto the bed beside me and looks at my reflection in
the mirror with an amused smirk.
“Damn, girl! When you let yourself go, you fully commit and go all
the way. Look at that leg hair. You bringing bush back in style too?”
Her laughter rings out as I glare at her in the mirror and spit out, “I
didn’t let go all the way or I’d be with you instead of stuck here
alone!” Turning away from her I mutter under my breath, “bitch.”
She rolls her eyes and bumps me with her shoulder. “Whatevs,
we’ve already covered that. You know I wanted to be with Ryan.
Besties trump a lot of things, but not true love. Sorry.” She pins me
with her signature “You’re an idiot” look and shakes her head.
“Come on, you got to move past that. You’re the last one standing
so make it fucking count.” She wrinkles her nose and waves a finger
back and forth and up and down my body. “Fix this shit cause that’s
just sad and an affront to all women. You know what you need to do.
Round up the girls and make a plan to kick-start your vibe again.”
I close my eyes and breathe out so I don’t blast her with all the
angry words that I have bottled up inside, but when I open them
again, she’s gone. The ache in my chest flares to life, making me
want to join her so badly but her pep talk and the small stubborn
spark that still exists in my heart forces me to my feet in defiance.
Time to pack that shit away and change the channel. Tara’s right. I
need a jump start.
It's time for a hen party. As Taylor used to sing, I need to shake it
off - and the best way to do that is to dance. First thing’s first, if I'm
going to go and have a girls' night, I need to clean up the hot mess
my appearance has become and that means it’s going to be a high-
maintenance, full works, spa day.
I lean over and sort through the pile of dirty laundry on the floor
and my nose wrinkles at the rancid smell that wafts up. Oh-kay. So
laundry and a full camper cleanup will have to go on today's list too. I
finally locate a semi-clean hoodie with only a few questionable stains
and throw it over my sleep tank top, not bothering with pants to go
over the booty shorts I am wearing. It's not like there's anyone
around to see anyway. Three carpeted steps take me down out of
the bedroom to the main level of the 5th wheel trailer I call home.
The clean slate state of mind I’m trying to overwrite my
depression with has me looking critically at the mess that I've let my
small kitchen become. Dirty plates, glasses, and cups litter the
counters and fill the sink. I shake my head at how lost I have been
for the past few weeks to let it get so bad. So, a full day of physical
and mental maintenance it is, body and living space - before I end
the night with a few cocktails and some dancing with my girls. It
won't magically fix everything that's wrong with me but it's a good
first step.
My gaze lands on the hand-drawn calendar I’ve tacked to the wall
and I mentally add another day to my tally. It’s been 662 days since
the dead rose up to destroy the world as I knew it and 413 days
since I last spoke to another living person. If I want to quit my slow
descent into darkness, I have to believe there are others out there
and one day I won’t be alone anymore. I find a travel mug to pour
coffee into before jamming my feet into a pair of rubber boots and
open the camper door to a beautifully sunny, late June day. I stand
stock-still for a few moments, listening closely. I can hear leaves
rustling in the light breeze but no sounds of the moaning dead.
Maybe it will be a good day.
My eyes scan the small apocalypse empire I am the Queen of, all
ten acres of it. Seven of the acres are dedicated to crops and
gardens that I only actually need a fraction of to survive. The extra I
just keep canning, dehydrating, and storing away for that mythical
day when there will hopefully be more mouths to feed. Besides, what
else do I really have to do to fill the long hours of each day?
Two acres are stacked end to end with solar panels that make life
after civilization a little more bearable. The power they produce
means that I’m two steps up from a pioneer woman and I don’t have
to hand scrub my laundry … yay me. The last acre has the three RV
campers we brought here to live in. Only mine is used to live in. The
other two are crammed full of scavenged supplies that I will never
use up by myself, but again - one day.
The campers back onto a wall of rock that goes up at least fifty
feet and bolted into it halfway up is a massive, heavy tarp that juts
out at an angle to cover all three campers. It’s supported by wooden
frames at both ends and two more frames between the campers and
gives me a large protected outdoor living space. There are three sets
of patio furniture, fireplace tables, grilling stations, and patio heaters
in front of each of the campers that were all used in the beginning
but now sit covered in dust and blown leaves. Sitting around a fire
and making s’mores for one lost its appeal pretty fucking quick.
If I squint, I can make out the ivy-covered inner fence that
surrounds my empire and keeps me safe, or a prisoner depending
on my outlook for the day. Today, I’m choosing to feel safe.
I take a big slug of coffee and get on with it, starting with turning
back inside and gathering up all the gross clothing littering my
bedroom floor and dresser and carrying it over to the middle camper
that has a small washer and dryer in it. I have to wait for the water
heater to heat up but once it’s ready I get the first load going and
search for the beauty supplies Tara insisted we scavenge and haul
back when we were first getting this place set up.
After the fences, security, food, and basics were stocked up, Tara
and Lisa convinced the guys we needed to do a luxury run. By that
point, we had leveled up so high in this zombie apocalypse game
that it was an easy run to do, as were the next two. That’s how we
ended up living the high life with every want we could think of
scavenged and stored away.
I lay the beauty tools and products out on the dining table and
dive in. I choose a cherry-colored tint for my hair and while it
processes, start ripping hair from all over my body with wax strips.
Legs, pits, and lady bits are attacked with much cursing and
screeching but by the time the color rinse in my hair is ready to be
washed out I’m as smooth as an egg and really fucking pink in
places from the abuse. I jump in the camper shower and scrub from
head to toe while my hair gets a deep condition. By the time I get
out, the water is cold and I feel a little more like my old self. Fat
rollers go up and will stay for the rest of the day until my hair dries
while I go to work plucking and shaping my brows back into two
distinct shapes rather than the unibrow they have been growing into.
Just to ramp up the fun, I add a few falsies to bulk up my lashes and
get to work on my makeup. A girl’s night of drinks and dancing calls
for a bit of extra so I wing my eyes with liner and brush on a smoky
eyeshadow look. When I finally lean back from the mirror and get the
overall look at my face, I’m smacked hard by memories of me, Tara
and Lisa crowded into Tara’s bathroom as we did our faces for a
night of clubbing. When tears well up I force myself to blink them
away. Tara would kick my ass if I ruined the smoky eye look I had
nailed.
The first load of laundry goes into the dryer and I attack my nails
and toes. Trimming, shaping, and painting them a pretty peach color
for the season. Other than my hair and dress that I will do later, I’m
done with the beauty maintenance portion of getting my shit
together. Next up, decontaminate my camper.
When the guys first told us we would be getting RVs to live in for
their master plan, I cringed and imagined the ugly orange upholstery
and tacky wooden trim of my parents' camper from childhood.
Turned out that RVs had seriously upped their game since then. With
the majority of the population dead or in hiding and no one minding
the store we picked out the best of the best in high-end campers.
The one I live in has six slide-outs to double the space.
The large living room at the back has a full couch, two recliners,
an electric fireplace, a flat-screen TV, and is slightly bigger than my
old condo’s living room. There’s a freestanding dining table that can
expand to seat six comfortably and a kitchen with a house-sized
fridge, four-burner gas stove and oven, double sinks, and an island
for even more counter space.
Next to the kitchen is a bunk room in its own slide-out. It has a
jackknife sofa that converts to a bed, a bunk over top of that, and a
small desk and cupboard. Turning right from the entrance are three
steps that go up to a landing with a small ladder leading up to a loft
bed area. After that is the bathroom and then the master bedroom
that has two slide-outs and a king-sized bed with the very front wall
covered in mirrored closet doors. It’s fucking epic as far as campers
go. The camper beside mine used to be Tara and Ryan’s and has a
similar layout except it doesn’t have the bunk room or loft. The final
one had been Lisa and Tommy’s and it’s a huge ass motorhome. At
the time, I chose this one because I was the only single in our group
and had hopes that other survivors would join us in time and there
would be room for them. I was a fucking fool.
Kelsey’s camper:

I take a couple of deep breaths and remind myself about the

whole new outlook thing and snap on a pair of rubber gloves
because - fresh nails and all. It takes me a few hours to get
everything shipshape and sparkling again with all the laundry,
dishes, sheets, and bathroom cleaned up. After a snack of cheese
and slightly stale crackers I head out to check on the girls and let
them know they need to put their party hats on for tonight. I walk
past the other two campers and follow the rock wall for thirty feet
with my eyes tracking up the rock. I scan the strong mesh rock fall
nets that the guys bolted into the rock ten feet above the tarp,
looking for any fallen rocks or random zombies. It had only
happened once and none of us could figure out how one of the dead
had gotten up there in the first place but it had freaked us all out in a
big way. I had nightmares for weeks afterwards about zombies dive-
bombing our camp from above. The nets started out bright orange
but we spray painted them a flat grey before putting them up to help
them blend into the scenery.
Seeing that the nets are clear, I take another look over the
gardens, noting that the corn was getting to be a nice height, and
step into the cavern. Right away I’m greeted by my girls with
squawks and balks. Feathers start flying as they rush to the gate in
welcome or more likely for feed. I grab a scoop of chicken feed and
my egg bucket and wade into the flock.
“Ladies! Big news … Huge news!” I call out to the flapping hens
as I toss feed in an arc to spread it out. “We are lighting this shit UP!
Put your best feathers on because tonight is GIRLS NIGHT! Whoop-
whoop!”
With the last of the feed spread out I move over to the nesting
cubbies and start gathering eggs while I chatter away at them.
“Yes, ma’am we are going to rock the cavern tonight. I expect all
of you to put your best effort in but watch your drunk levels. Don’t
think I’m going to be holding back your feathers if you start puking.”
I turn and point. “Yes, I’m looking at you Snookie! You’re always
the first one who takes it too far, you lightweight.” The chicken in
question flaps her wings and balks at me in outrage. I cock a hip and
glare back at her.
“Well, flock you too! You and J-Wow are always stirring up shit
around here. Girl, push me and see if you don’t end up in the pot. I
ain’t playing!” When Snookie settles her feathers and goes back to
pecking at the ground I nod. “Uh-huh, that’s what I thought."
With one last scowl to show I mean business, I turn away and
open the gate between the inside and outside pen so the girls can go
get some sun after they’re done eating.
I leave them to it and carry the egg bucket to the cavern kitchen,
setting it beside two other buckets that are already brimming with
eggs on a long stainless steel table that we appropriated from a high
school cafeteria. I sigh at just how much work I’ve let pile up in my
funk and pull my phone from my back pocket to check the time. I still
have a few hours before I have to do my hair and get dressed for the
party so I get cracking … literally.
I crack eggs into a ginormous steel bowl, tossing the shells into
the compost box. I keep careful count until I hit fifty and then whisk
them up until they get frothy. Each one of the five dehydrators can
process fifty eggs at a time and when I’m done, I have three filled
and cooking for the next ten hours before I will grind them up for
storage. I need to get this out of my way because the early
tomatoes, peppers, and onions will need to be picked and processed
into sauces and salsa in the next few days. I wash everything up and
clean the mess away, flick off the lights and head out of the cavern
and back into the sun.
I spend the next hour walking my gardens, pulling the occasional
weed, and checking for any bugs or rot before finally heading to
Lisa’s motorhome to find something to wear tonight. Where Tara
loved her makeup and beauty products, Lisa was a total fashionista.
She threw herself into scavenging as many apocalypse inappropriate
outfits as she could, like a kid in a candy store with an unlimited
allowance. I miss my best bitches so hard right now and try not to
hate them too much for leaving me. It takes me a while to go through
the many stacked storage totes she had filled with men’s and
women’s clothes and finally strike gold in the master closet. The
space is crammed with high-end women’s fashions and I can’t help
but laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of Lisa hoarding such clothing
when she would never get to wear it, even if she had lived. I run my
hands over silk, satin, and lace knowing for a fact she’d have even
more if there had been space.
I finally settle on a short, silver, strapless number that flares out -
stopping mid-thigh with layers of silver ribbon hemmed black
crinoline under the skirt. It’s completely over the top for my hen party
but why the hell not? My girls don’t judge me … most of the time.
There’s a bag looped over the hanger with silver strappy stilettos to
match the dress and a slim case with jewelry but I leave the shoes
because - still a zombie apocalypse - and you never really know
when you might need to run. Instead, I find a pair of thigh-high black
boots with silver buckles and sturdier block heels. They don’t really
match the dress, but close enough for the hens.
I carry everything over to my sparkling clean camper and prepare
the most important item to get the night started, a strawberry
margarita. Thank god for the bottles of mix that only need ice and
tequila to make a club-worthy drink. As I sip my first cocktail for the
night I throw on a dance playlist to set the mood and start pulling
rollers from my hair. The color rinse was a success and I tilt my head
back and forth, loving the cherry overlay on my dark curls. The
second cocktail I make goes down even smoother than the first as I
touch up my makeup and shimmy into the silver dress.
It takes some comical wrangling to get it zipped up but I’m feeling
giddy from the booze so I just laugh as I play clothing twister to get it
in place. I twist my hips to make the skirt sway and bounce a few
times to make sure my tits will stay inside the strapless bodice but
it’s tight with built-in push-up support so they bulge out perfectly and
there is no need to worry about flashing the girls some nip, no matter
how hard I dance. Boots, a choker, hoops, and lipstick complete the
outfit and I stand back from the closet mirrors and take in the whole
effect.
“Fuck me, what a goddamn waste. Any other night, any other
place, and I wouldn’t be going home from the club alone looking like
this,” I tell my reflection with a frown.
I toss my hair back and reach for my drink only to find it empty
again, time to go. I’m going to knock my hen’s feathers off with this
look. I stop on my way out and refill my drink for the road, grab my
phone and earbuds, hit the exterior lights so I don’t kill myself later
trying to get home drunk, and finally head to the party.
It’s early yet, the sun is just dipping towards the treetops, but this
is the most popular club around so it should be getting busy. The
closer I get to it the more I construct my fantasy and by the time I
reach the cavern entrance, Tara and Lisa have appeared on either
side of me laughing and giggling. I smile coquettishly at the bouncer
and he unhooks the red velvet rope with a nod for us to go through.
Hot girls don’t wait in line after all. I slip my earbuds into my ears and
hit play. I love the DJ at this place so much.
The hot beats of Calvin Harris have my hips swaying as we make
our way onto the dance floor. John Newman blames it on the night
as the three of us bump, grind and spin to the beat while laughing.
Song after song, I move my body to the music and lose myself to the
fantasy. When I drain my third cocktail of the night I make eyes at the
cock across the way who’s checking me out but when he caws at me
I turn my back. I know a player when I see one. It does make me
think about ending the night with a random hook up though. It’s been
… fuck … over a year since my last orgasm and I know just the
dusty, purple bad boy vibrator to get the job done. If I can find it.
When the DJ goes retro with some C & C Music Factory, I throw
my hands over my head and close my eyes as I dance. I can feel the
hot bodies crowding me and smell the mix of sweat, perfume, and
cologne overtop of stale beer as I rock out. Fuck, this is exactly what
I needed.
I’m feeling nicely buzzed from the drinks and even the slightly
sore feet from my heels add to the picture of a time when all was
well in my life and the world. I can feel the smile stretched across my
face as I spin but when the music cuts out and is replaced by an
annoying foghorn alarm in my ears, I stumble on my feet and my
eyes fly open.
The light in the cavern is flashing red like a strobe and for a few
beats, I consider just ignoring it. Letting it all end here and now while
I look hot and my head is filled with good memories. I glance at my
hens though and the image of the dead tearing them apart has me
squeezing my fists so tight that my nails bite into my palms.
“ARGGGG, MOTHERFUCKER!” I scream out. “Can’t you leave
me in peace for just one fucking night?”
My chest heaves in rage as I look around the cavern - now empty
of my two best friends and all the other club dancers. My perfect
moment, my perfect night is gone and I know the party’s over and
there’s only one thing left to do. Kill the fuckers who ruined this for
me and this time, they’ll stay dead.
 KELSEY

stomp over to a row of metal spikes in the wall and snatch my

I favorite double holster already filled with two silenced handguns. I
add a few extra magazines to the loops, throw the holster on, and
check the app on my phone to see which area of the fence is being
hit before tucking it back into my tall boot top and start running. Rage
coupled with the alcohol I’ve consumed is making me stupid as I fly
through the gardens toward the first fence but I just don’t fucking
care anymore. If tonight’s the night I die, so be it. My hen party was
starting to bring me back a little bit but this just shoved me ten steps
back into the darkness.
The sun has set but there’s still enough light for me to navigate. I
should go to one of the guard platforms to get a look at what I’m
facing while it’s still light out but I’m just so fucking furious that I head
straight to the gate closest to the area that’s being attacked. The
secondary alarm hasn’t gone off yet so I know the outer fence hasn’t
been breached. So far it is just the pressure sensors that have gone
off and I should be fine to pick off the zombies that are threatening
the outer fence and redirect the rest.
I’m so mad right now that I don’t even feel the pain in my feet
from running in heels and as I reach the gate on the inner fence I’m
prepared to fuck some zombies up. I yank the gate open, tearing
apart the ivy that’s grown across it and I am definitely not prepared
for what’s waiting on the other side.
Everything slows down as my eyes take in a man, standing
sideways right in front of me, holding out a gun. His head turns my
way and I catch a glimpse of shocked green eyes before that gun
starts turning my way. I don’t even have to think as my next move is
one that Ryan drilled us on so many times.
Right-hand goes to the gun barrel, left hooks under and around
the shooter’s arm, yanks toward me. Duck under the arm, step
forward with the gun now in my hand. Another step, pivot while
shifting the gun into my grip. Keep pivoting until I’m behind him and
bam, Bob’s your uncle! I am now behind the intruder, his own gun
jammed into his neck. Then I freeze and assess.
The guy I just disarmed has frozen like a statue and thanks to my
heels I can just see over his shoulder to the four other men that are
staring our way with dropped jaws and shocked faces. A quick scan
shows me three of the four are armed with handguns and the fourth
is clutching his side like he’s in pain. The dead are pushing against
the outer fence, attracted in part by a moaner making a racket a few
feet past where the others stand, so I pull the silenced weapon from
my left-hand holster and bring it up in one smooth move beside the
guy’s arm in front of me and take the shot. The moans are silenced
instantly from that spot but the fence still shakes as more and more
dead push against it. The dead know we’re here so there’s no point
being quiet at the moment. A silenced gunshot isn’t actually silenced
like in the movies, it’s just not the loud bang it would normally be. I
swing the barrel towards the group of four keeping buddy’s gun
pressed firmly to his neck.
“Weapons down. Now,” I order in a low but firm tone.
As one, they all look to the guy I’m using as a shield. That’s
interesting, looks like I hit the leader of this group. His head moves
slowly in a nod and his outstretched hands make a lowering gesture
for them to comply. Two of them do it right away and toss the guns
where I indicate - a few feet in front of them. The third guy hits me
with a fierce glare from ice-blue eyes and I take a minute to get a
better look at him. Holy hot cakes, he is smoking hot in an angry bad
boy kind of way. Thick black hair hangs to his shoulders, surrounding
a jawline that could slice bread. Long dormant parts of me start to sit
up and take notice but, hello? Not the time or fucking place so I
repeat myself.
 “Last chance, weapon down.” My tone is even, not even a hint of
anger in it as he tries to stare me down. I’m thinking I’ll have to shoot
him in the leg or something when their leader guy speaks up.
“Dev! Put it fucking down, man!”
Dev curses but finally lowers and then tosses it toward the rest of
the guns in the grass.
I go up on my toes so I can get closer to their leader’s ear and
murmur, “Thank you.”
He turns his head towards my face not even worried about the
gun in his neck and opens his mouth to say something but stops and
takes a deep breath, inhaling through his nose. His eyes track over
every feature of my face in the fading light and a small grin pulls at
his lips.
“First, you smell fucking amazing. Second, you could put your
guns down too. We mean you no harm.”
I’m sure it’s the booze in my veins talking or maybe it’s the sexy
green eyes framed by thick dark lashes that are filled with interest
but my reply comes out waaay flirtier than the situation warrants.
“Hmm, I like to use protection on the first date. Maybe next time.”
The tiny grin on his lips grows, making me shake my head to get
the thought of kissing them out of it.
“Zombies, Kelsey. Strange men with guns! Focus!” I reprimand
myself internally.
“How many dead followed you to my fence?” I say out loud, all
traces of flirtation gone from my voice.
He winces and looks apologetic. “It’s a horde. Hundreds, maybe
even more. We’ve been running for days trying to stay out in front of
them. I’m sorry.”
A few feet behind me another moaner hits the fence and starts
calling for his friends so I step back and pivot enough to take another
shot through the fence at head height, silencing him.
 “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I turn back to leader guy and catch him looking
through the gate on the inner fence but thankfully the corn growing
there should block most of his view of the jackpot treasure they just
stumbled upon. I place my hand on his back and feel way too many
muscles ripple under my touch and push him towards his friends.
“Ok, go to your friends and all of you take a seat. I’m going to
need you all to be quiet while I take care of this before they breach
the fence. Once they’re gone, we can talk.”
I see him nod and when he moves toward the others I quickly
close the gate to keep any more eyes off my home. Once he moves
out of the way and sits down, the others have a clear view of me in
the dying light and the expressions on every one of their faces shift
to disbelief. Not sure if they haven’t seen a woman for as long as it’s
been since I’ve seen a man but their reaction to me is a little over the
top. I reach for my phone and that’s when it hits me that I’m standing
here strapped with weapons in a fucking sparkly, strapless party
gown and high heeled boots. The first living people I’ve seen or
spoken to in four hundred and thirteen days and they’re going to
think I’m a goddamn lunatic. Ok, I kind of am at this point but we
could have worked up to that fact. Fuck my life.
“I-I was at a … a hen party so …” I wave vaguely at my outfit and
then just shrug. Fuck it, it is what it is. After that I mostly ignore them,
too embarrassed to see the judgment on their faces as I get to work
opening apps and making the first call.
I hear Dev, the icy blue-eyed hottie mutter. “Who the fuck is she
calling and how …” But I hit him with a glare and hold up a ‘wait for it’
finger, cutting him off. Two beats later, the song “Who Let The Dogs
Out?” comes blaring out from further in the forest on the other side of
the fence. It only takes seconds for the dead to unhook their bony
claws from the fence and start to move away. I peek up and see
grins on three of the five faces staring at me as I make a few more
rapid taps on my phone. I switch apps to security and see all green
on the fence line map so I tap back to the next level and send the
call.
 “Somebody call 911, shorty fire burning on the dance floor.” Can
be heard but from further away than the first song. I keep at it until
the next song is barely a whisper in the air and finally hit the last
measure to ensure the dead will keep streaming that way. I tap the
button and drop my phone to my side, look up and just wait until the
first firework soars into the sky and bursts into life. I space the next
two shots five minutes apart for the best coverage and as soon as
the last one goes off, I wave the men to their feet, putting a finger to
my lips in warning so they’ll stay silent and motion for them to move
down the path between the fences away from where their guns are
piled and in the opposite direction than the horde came from. I frown
when I see two of them help a third to his feet and almost carry him
between them. I keep a safe distance from the others with my gun
carefully trained on leader guy’s head as we follow from behind. We
move along until we reach a corner. I wave them on but place a hand
on leader guy’s broad back causing him to freeze in place as the
others keep walking. I move up close and rise up on my toes again
so I can whisper.
“Your friend is injured. Was he bit?”
Once again, he turns his head so our faces are close together
and takes the opportunity to look me over again, causing me to bite
my bottom lip. When his eyes go straight to my mouth, shit starts
fluttering down south.
“No, a jagged piece of metal sliced him on his side as we were
dodging the dead. It’s why we climbed your fence. He can’t run
anymore.”
I pat his back twice and nod to let him know he can keep going
and also – muscles to feel. When we’ve made it halfway down the
path and I see the huge tree on my home side of the fence I whisper
for them to stop. I step back a few feet as they all turn to look at me
and chew on my lip while I think of the best way to play this. On the
one hand, people! On the other, strange people – men, who could kill
me and take over my home. The light of the day is gone, leaving
them barely outlined, so I activate the flashlight on my phone and
angle it towards the inside fence just in case there’s still any dead
nearby. The ivy is a thick barrier covering both fences making it hard
for anyone to see in but best to not take any extra chances. Now that
we can see each other again, I wave them back down to the grass
and crouch down, keeping a tight grip on my gun in case one of
them makes a move.
Inspiration hits me with a half-ass plan but it’s all I’ve got so I run
with it. I tap out a text message on my phone to Tara’s old cell and
send it in full view of them and then turn my best hard-ass look their
way.
“Ok, first up. There are other guns on you right now so any funny
business and they’ll take you out. Second, stay off the fences.
They’re alarmed so you have no chance of sneaking anywhere.
Third, I’m going to need to see that injury to prove it’s not a bite. If it
is, you all go right now and take your chances out there. If it’s not,
then you’re welcome to stay here for the night to give your friend a
chance to rest and recover. You will be perfectly safe as long as you
stay off the fences and someone will come to talk to you in the
morning.”
Four of them turn their heads and have one of those silent
conversations only long-time friends or family can have without
saying a single word out loud. Tara and I could do that. We could
pack an entire bitch session into one loaded look. I get a hard
suspicious look from Dev but the other three nod at me and two of
them help the injured guy pull his shirt up enough that when I shine
my light on it I can see a long angry-looking slash in his side that’s
still bleeding a little bit.
I make a pained face. “That needs to be cleaned out and stitched
up or it’ll get infected.”
Dev rolls his eyes at me. He. Rolls. His. Eyes. At. Me!
“No shit. Kinda been busy running for our lives to play doctor but
hey, so sorry to have disrupted your party, Princess.” He shoots at
me bitterly.
I huff out an excuse-me-laugh and push to my feet. “Right, then.
Have a nice night!”
 I turn with a swish of my skirt, toss my hair, and start walking back
the way we came when leader guy calls out softly.
“Wait!”
I stop but don’t turn around, waiting.
“What’s your name?”
I actually have to think about that for a few seconds. Do I want to
tell them? I haven’t heard my name on another’s lips since Tara left
me. I close my eyes, my voice barely more than a whisper on the
wind but it's loud enough for him to hear. I tense up as I wait for
another snarky comment.
“Thank you, Kelsey. Thank you for letting us stay here tonight.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat and just nod and start
walking again, not wanting them to hear the tears choking me at
hearing someone saying my name after so goddamn long.
I’m almost running by the time I hit the corner and I skid to a stop
as soon as I turn it, digging my earbuds out of my cleavage and
jamming them into my ears. I tap like a demon on my phone until I
get the right app open and select the monitor in the tree I left them
under. I can’t make any decisions until I know just what kind of men
these guys are.
“…ing spoiled little princess! Did you see what she was wearing?
At a party? For fuck’s sake!” Hisses through my earbuds. Tara shows
up beside me in the dark and leans her head close to mine with huge
gleeful eyes that scream “Can you believe this fucker?” I shrug and
listen closer.
“Stow it, Dev! She got the jump on me and could have easily
killed us all. Instead, she saved our asses and gave us sanctuary for
the night. Don’t put your baggage on her.”
“Ooooh, he’s damaged and broody. Me likey!” Tara whispers in
my ear while wiggling her eyebrows. I motion for her to zip it just as a
new voice comes through that I haven’t heard before.
“Um, hello, that was the hottest chick I’ve ever seen both pre and
post-apocalypse and the badass move where she stripped Linc of
his gun in like two seconds flat was just the cherry on top of a
sundae I would like to eat. I would very much like to beg her to let us
stay so I can try and be her date for the next party she goes to.
Especially if she’ll wear a dress like that again. I never thought I
would see another woman, let alone one so beautiful. So, yeah, Dev
- stow it.”
Tara makes a silent “eeek” of excitement at that and bounces up
and down. I ignore her and the hot blush heating my cheeks.
“Stop thinking with your dick, Gray. A woman like that is nothing
but a headache that’ll get you dead, especially now.”
“Enough, help me clean up this wound. Whatever she is, she’s
right about it needing to be cleaned up. Judging by the fever he has,
it’s already infected.” A quiet new voice says.
There’s some mumbling I can’t make out after that so I start
walking back to where their guns are and I use the top layer of my
skirt to gather them all up and carry them back inside the gate,
making sure to lock it behind me. Tara doesn’t stick around to help
me, the brat.
There’s no talking for a while after that so I go home, dumping the
guns on one of the patio couches and going inside where I strip off
my stupid party dress and boots, feeling like a total idiot, and stuff
them at the back of my closet so I never have to see them again. I
throw on a clean sleep set of tank and booty shorts and ruthlessly
scrub the makeup from my face.
Spoiled princess? Yup, that’s totally me in a nutshell. Never
worked a day in my life, except for all of them. Had everything
handed to me? Sure did, while clawing my way out of poverty and
abuse. Worked my ass off with my friends to create this safe haven
only to have the most important part of it ripped away from me? Yup,
total fucking princess and fuck you very much, Dev.
I slide in between my freshly washed sheets with the earbuds
firmly in place and stare up at the ceiling with a scowl on my face.
Whatever, they’ll be gone in the morning and I won’t have to put up
with his pissy attitude again. Or leader guy’s, I think his name is Linc,
tempting green eyes and sexy smile. I can go back to normal … with
no one to talk to except my hens and Tara occasionally. I’m fine. I
can handle it. I have so far, right? Except for that one time with the
gun but I stopped myself. And … he said … my name, how can I go
back to never hearing anyone ever say my name again?
“Linc? If they offer us a place here, we have to take it, man.” It’s
the quiet, serious voice that I don’t have a name for yet speaking.
“All the towns we’ve been through are stripped bare. We’re down to
one day of water and two of food. Even if we find a safe place we
can defend, we’ll hardly be able to plant crops so late in the season
that will see us through winter. This is the end game now.”
I barely make out a tired sigh before he replies. “I know. I’m sorry
about the farm, Oliver. I’m sorry we … you worked so hard only to
have it overrun. I know how much it meant to you.” There’s a long
pause before he speaks again. “We’ll ask them if we can stay.
Whatever they want us to do, no matter how shitty the work is or the
people are, we’ll take it. We’ll work hard for our place and we’ll get
along … with everyone. Dev?”
I wait, straining to hear what he will say to that while chewing on
my bottom lip until I taste blood.
“Yeah, man. I’m in. I give you my word. I’ll be a team player.”
He says it softly - like it cost him something to make that promise.
I frown, still unsure of what to do until the next voice speaks. I think
it’s Gray.
“If they don’t let us stay, I think we’re going to die out there and I
don’t think it will take very long.”
Well, fuck! Decision made. I throw back the covers and jump out
of bed. I have shit to do.
 KELSEY

he sun is barely lightening the sky when I finish loading up the

T small wagon with the food I cooked, two jugs of water, a medical
kit, and a bag filled with their guns. My decision is still not set in
stone but I’m really leaning toward letting them stay. I have a few
more questions I want answers to but my hopes are they won’t show
me anything that will be a deal killer. I desperately don’t want to be
alone anymore but I’m not desperate enough to risk them taking
either this place or me by force. I’m going to play my cards close to
my chest on this one and if I get any creepy vibes I’ll just give them a
few weeks' worth of supplies and see them on their way.
With the wagon packed, I go back in and strap on my knife
sheath, my holsters and take a quick look in the mirror across from
my bed. An eighties band tee over ripped skinny jeans and a worn
pair of red Chuck Taylors, my standard uniform is a long way from
the outfit I was wearing last night but this is the everyday me. My hair
is up in a ponytail, out of the way. No fancy hairdo today but I still
couldn’t help but swipe some mascara on my lashes and tinted lip
gloss on my usually makeup-free face, because – boys. I swallow
down my nerves and nod once to my reflection, roll my eyes at Tara
who is twerking behind me and singing, “Girl’s just wanna have fun”.
Time to go see what my future holds.
I leave the camper and grab the handle of the wagon but pause
and mentally run down the list of everything I did last night to prepare
in case this goes right while staring at Tara and Ryan’s camper. The
water tanks are topped off, water heaters are going, clothes and
supplies have been set out, food has been stocked again in the
cupboards and medical supplies are ready for their injured friend. I
can’t think of anything else right now so I stop stalling and get
hauling. Just as I open the gate on the inner fence, I hear rustling
through my earbuds. The guys are waking up, perfect timing.
By the time I turn the corner and spot their little camp, I’ve
chewed my cuticles on my free hand ragged and my stomach is
rolling, whether it’s nerves or leftover tequila from the night before,
I’m not sure. Either way, I’m terrified for so many reasons but I force
my expression to be completely neutral as the four uninjured men sit
up and turn to face me.
I slow my steps with the wagon bumping along behind me as I get
my first real look at my possibly new apoc-mates and rapidly rethink
this whole thing because all four of them are too fucking hot for my
current sanity levels. The fifth guy is still laying down so I don’t get a
look at him.
My eyes pause on leader guy, Linc. He’s looking back at me with
caution in those green eyes but there’s a hint of a smile on his full
lips. He’s got shaggy, dark blond hair with streaks that range from
gold to platinum at the tips where the sun has lightened it. Wide
shoulders with muscular arms tanned golden and I already know
he’s taller than me by at least a foot and a half. I tear my eyes from
him and land on Dev.
Shoulder-length black hair with icy blue eyes that I slide away
from quickly to focus on the tats I can see peeking out of the neck of
his shirt and a few down his arms. Lots of muscle here too but leaner
than Linc. He’s the total bad-boy package with ripped jeans stuffed
into motorcycle boots. Too bad about the cold look in his eyes he’s
shooting my way - but it does help cool my newly awakened libido.
My gaze moves on to the two men I didn’t get a look at last night
in the fading light. The first one is just flat out grinning at me and I
can’t help but smile back. He’s fucking cute as hell with soft brown
curls that are flopping into his eyes. Eyes the color of warm maple
syrup. I’m guessing by the way he’s looking at me that he’s as sweet
as his eyes look. I feel my cheeks blushing and switch to the last
man sitting up.
 This one is handsome in a serious way. Dark brown hair with
hints of red showing and calm brown eyes. He meets my stare and
tilts his head slightly in acknowledgment so I do the same.
All four of them are wearing clothing that is dirty and has a few
rips and tears but that makes sense if they were overrun and haven’t
stopped running since. I take in the four backpacks resting beside
each of them and frown at seeing that they look half empty.
The last man is on his side with a jacket thrown over his head and
I can tell by the rise and fall of his chest that he’s sleeping. I keep my
voice low to not disturb him or attract any nearby dead.
“Good morning. I hope you had a restful night. I brought you all
some breakfast if you’re interested?”
Alright! First few sentences out without a stutter, tremor, or saying
something awkward. I’m totally nailing this.
Linc gets up to one knee and his smile grows. “That’s very kind of
you. We appreciate it and the safe place to sleep last night. To be
honest, it’s the first full night we’ve been able to stay in one place for
about a week. We’ve been running on empty for a while now.”
Dev pipes up with a smirk on his face. “Yeah, it was nice to get
some sleep finally. What about you, Princess? You’re looking a little
tired. Party too hard last night?”
I tilt my head at him and pause while considering all the creative
ways I could tell him to go fuck himself but instead just feed into his
idea of me.
“Oh, yeah. Total rager. Haven’t even made it to bed yet. I partied
so hard. Best night ever.” I say in a completely flat tone as the smirk
slides off of his face and a small line forms between his brows and
he tries to puzzle me out. Good luck with that.
Linc sighs, capturing my attention and he nods down at my
holstered guns and a teasing light enters his eyes when I look his
way.
“No pointed guns today?”
 I shrug one shoulder and shoot back teasingly, “Second date.
You’re getting closer.”
My eyes widen. Fuck, no, no! Abort, abort! No flirting. No flirting
with the possible killer rapists, you idiot!
I turn away to hide my insane internal freak-out and lift a stack of
paper plates and shove them Dev’s way as he seems safer right now
than Linc. He takes them hesitantly and I shoot him an exasperated
look. Yes, my master plan is to cut your throats using paper plates.
One tiny paper cut at a time. Dumbass. While he passes them out I
uncover the three foil containers I filled with scrambled eggs and cut
up ham, seasoned hash browns, and one with buttered toast, setting
them out on the grass with serving spoons in each. I turn back and
grab a stack of Styrofoam coffee cups and a large thermos of coffee.
When I turn back to them I freeze in place, pinned by four sets of
eyes. Eyes that I swear are filled with hunger - except they’re staring
at me instead of the food I just laid out.
I hold up the thermos and cups and squeak out, “Coffee?”
Linc rubs a hand across his mouth and looks at me with
somewhat dazed eyes. “Sorry, sorry. It’s um, just, this is really
generous of you and your people to share with us. We didn’t expect
…”
“Oh! Well, um, we have a surplus of eggs right now so um, dig
in?”
Oliver speaks to me for the first time and I’m not going to lie. His
calm eyes are filled with gratitude and something else that makes
little flutters dance in my chest.
“Kelsey. This is a lot of kindness to show strangers that
inadvertently brought a horde to your doorstep last night. Thank you.
It … well, knowing that there’s still some good, kind people out here?
It...it means a lot.”
I kind of just stand there and melt while he looks at me like I’m
some kind of angel until Gray leans forward.
 “I’m sorry, Kelsey but I’m going to have to insist you marry me so
I can worship at your feet if you really have coffee in that thermos.”
I blink at him stupidly a few times as I work to keep the “I DO!”
from blasting out of my mouth and instead just thrust the thermos
and cups toward him. Oh yeah, so much game in this girl.
When he takes them from me with the sweetest smile, flashing a
pair of sinful dimples, I just nod like a fucking bobble head and force
my feet to turn away from him and Oliver. Right, I need to ask what
their names are so they don’t find out I’ve been creeping on them
like the stalker that I am.
I move out of the way as they fill their plates and grab the plastic
forks I brought from the wagon. As I hand them out I ask for their
names and yes we have, Lincoln, Devin, Grayson, and Oliver.
I grab the med kit and jugs of water out of the wagon, setting one
of the jugs by the food and holding on to the other.
“I’d really like to take a look at your friend’s injury and try and tend
to it if that’s ok? What’s his name?”
Linc frowns and looks at Oliver. “It’s Gavin, right?”
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You don’t know him?”
He turns back to me and shakes his head. “No, we added him to
the band of brothers four, or was it five, days ago? Anyway, the dead
that were chasing us flushed him out of his hiding spot. He caught
his side on a piece of metal sticking out of a wrecked truck as he
dodged a deadhead.”
I stare at him, unpacking that. “So he’s a stranger to you all. He
got injured and was slowing you down but you kept him with you and
helped him anyway?”
Linc nods but Dev scoffs at me. “We’re not fucking monsters.
What did you expect us to do? Toss him to the dead so we could
make a clean getaway?”
I turn my head slowly and give him a considering look for a few
beats. Long enough for him to slide his eyes away from mine before
I answer. “Monster? No. Asshat, most certainly.” I purse my lips. “As
far as me judging your character, so far you are making it pretty easy
to nail down but I will give you props for being consistent so far.”
I turn away from him and let him stew on that as I wedge the med
kit under my arm and snag the bag filled with their guns and drop it a
few feet away from where Dev’s sitting, making sure it gapes open
for him to see exactly what’s inside. Final test is in play. So far the
score is tied for stay or go.
“Oliver, would you help me get Gavin up so I can stitch up his
side and get some meds into him? He needs to eat and drink
something to keep his strength up.”
His eyes widen and he nods while scraping the last of the eggs
from his plate to his mouth. As I step between them to get to Gavin, I
take a quick look and see all of their plates are scraped clean but
there’s still a portion of each item left in the foil containers for the guy
they don’t even know. And the stay side scores another point.
Oliver gets Gavin up but he’s wobbly without a helping hand to
steady him. I get my first real look at the guy and judge him to be in
his late thirties or early forties. He doesn’t fit with the others, who all
look to be in their late twenties like me. I snatch my hand away from
his forehead when I feel the heat coming off of it and get the med kit
open. This poor guy’s in rough shape. The first thing I do is get a half
cup of water into him and then feed him an antibiotic pill and two
Tylenol to try and bring his fever down. He seems a little steadier
after a whole cup of water so I refill it and ask Gray to grab him a
piece of toast to chew on while I assess the wound. I get Oliver to
strip the dirty red shirt right off of him and lean over to get a better
look. I position myself so that I can still see Dev and the bag of guns
out of the corner of my eye so I’ll see if he goes for them while I work
on Gavin.
It’s a nasty wound about five inches long, red and inflamed with
yellow discharge seeping out in places. It’s swollen so the edges
don’t meet properly and it’s going to hurt like a son of a bitch when I
start treating it. As he finishes his toast and another cup of water I
lay out all the supplies I’m going to need. All five of them are now
watching my every move and it’s making me nervous so I start
talking to Gavin.
“Your wound is infected so this is going to hurt … like a lot …
when I clean it and stitch it up. Are you allergic to any meds that you
know of like Lidocaine?” When he shakes his head I blow out a
breath. “That’s good. I’ll numb the area as much as possible but it’s
still going to hurt as I clean it out. I need you to try really hard not to
be too loud or the dead will come. I’m sorry!”
He nods and gives me a half-smile so I help him lay down flat. As
I turn to get the Lidocaine, I see Dev lean over and reach for the bag
of guns. My jaw clenches in disappointment, even as my hand drops
to my knife. It slices through the air and impales the grass an inch
from his reaching fingers. His shocked eyes flash to mine and our
gazes lock together. I’m not even mad, just sad for what might have
been. I lean back onto my heels the same time he leans away from
the bag and I break our stare-off. Everyone has frozen in place
waiting for what I’m going to do next. I need a few seconds to re-
center so I sit on my heels with my hands folded in my lap for a few
beats and then loosen the tension in my neck and square my
shoulders, accepting that the go side just won the game.
“Oliver, you’ll need to make small injections all the way around
the wound and inside if he can stand it.” I begin.
“Kelsey …” Linc says with a plea in his voice but I hold up a hand
to stop him, never taking my eyes from the grass in front of me.
“Give it a few minutes for the freezing to take effect and then
clean it out. You might have to dig into it but try and be sure you get
all of it cleaned out or the infection will keep festering, even with the
antibiotics. There’s a full course in the bottle in the kit so be sure he
takes all of it.”
“Kelsey, please?” Oliver says, but I just plow on.
“Small stitches from either side but leave the center open for now
so it can drain. Once the swelling goes down you can finish closing it
up. Try and keep it as clean and dry as possible.”
 I’m proud of myself for getting all that out without my voice
trembling even the tiniest bit as I push up to my feet. I step forward
and lean down to pick up the thermos, still without looking at any of
them. I might be shooting myself in the foot for this if I ever need our
backup location but I just can’t stand the thought of them starving to
death out there because I turned them away.
“Linc, there’s a wilderness lodge about five miles west of here.
There are supplies in one of the guest rooms on the third level under
the bed and in the closet. It should be enough to see you all through
for at least a month until you can get back on your feet.”
I see him jam both hands through his hair out of the corner of my
eye but things are starting to crack inside me now that I know I’m
going back to being alone. I go to step past him just as Dev rises to
his feet and blocks my way. Now my eyes do fill with tears. Not
because I’m sad or scared of him but because he’s going to make
me do something horrible. Something I never wanted to have to do
again. The first tear spills over as I lock my lips in a tight line and un-
holster my gun with my left hand. I keep it loose and lowered at my
side with my eyes on his chest waiting for the first sign he’s going to
make his move. He’ll be watching that gun so he won’t see the one
on my right coming when I draw and shoot.
I wait and I wait and then he does the last thing I expect. He
slowly slides down to his knees in front of me so I’m forced to meet
his eyes. I have to press my lips together even tighter at what I see
in them. So much pain, anguish, and anger fill them and I recognize
each one because that’s what I see in my own eyes most days.
“Do it. If it means the others can stay, do it.” He tells me in a
steady voice and I fucking hate him with every fiber of my being in
that moment.
 LINC

hold my breath and wait to see what Kelsey will do with Dev. As
I much as I love the guy and would lay down my life for him, right
now I want to punch him right in the face for being such a dick. Not
only for ruining any chance we had to be invited into what I think is a
solid and thriving community but also for putting that look on
Kelsey’s face. The deep sadness I can see in her eyes just sucker-
punched me right in the gut and I wish I could pull her into my arms
and make it go away. I barely know her but I’m already dying to find
out more. Not just because she’s a walking wet dream, dressed for a
night in the club like last night, or in her cool little band t-shirt and
ponytail, she’s fucking gorgeous and smells so damn sweet. I
haven’t smelled anything as good as she smells since the dead rose.
One minute she’s flirting and the next she gets all awkward about it
and tries to cover it up. So far, she’s completely adorable. That’s not
even taking into account how hot her badass moves are. I have no
doubt that the knife landed exactly where she wanted it to, missing
Dev’s fingers by an inch.
Everything she’s done since we met last night has been to help
us. Her disarming me probably saved me from a bullet to the head
from one of their snipers and then with a few taps to her phone, she
redirected the horde we’ve been running from for a week. She gave
us a safe place to sleep, fed us fresh eggs and ham, fucking eggs! I
haven’t had eggs since this all started almost two years ago. Even
now she is giving away precious medical supplies to help a stranger
and telling us where to find supplies. Fuck, all of us are strangers to
her. We could have been slime who would try to hurt her but she
gave us the benefit of the doubt right off the bat. Fucking Dev and
the chip on his shoulder and mounds of baggage. I could give her a
pile of reasons for him being the way he is but he’s been a dick to
her from the first moment so why would she even care?
Now, here’s this sweet, gorgeous woman with tears in her eyes,
one sliding down her perfect cheek, and any moment she’s going to
put a bullet in my best friend's head. I almost lunge forward and grab
her when Dev reaches out and lifts her gun up to place the barrel
against his forehead.
“Go ahead. I deserve it, trust me. Just let my friends stay, please.”
He tells her and I hear the pain he lives with constantly in every
word. I also see all the blood drain from Kelsey’s face and her hand
start to shake and then - then the girl with all the cool battle moves
drops her fucking gun and clasps both of her hands on either side of
Dev’s face and she leans into him as more tears spill down her face.
“Don’t do that! Don’t you ever fucking do that again!” She tells him
in the most broken voice I’ve ever heard from anyone.
She grips his cheeks for a moment longer while staring into his
eyes and then just like a switch is thrown, her hands fly off his face
and out and she stumbles back. Wide, grey, panic-filled eyes flash
my way and then she’s darting past Dev and running away. I think I
hear her call out for someone named Tara but she disappears
around the far corner.
“What the fuck just happened?” Gray asks as he moves toward
us.
“Dev happened, that’s what,” Oliver answers him in his calm, cool
voice.
Dev is still on his knees where she left him. His gaze is fixed
straight ahead but I can see the shattered look in his eyes. Kelsey
has no way of knowing this but she just reached out and touched a
part of Dev that none of us has ever been able to reach since this all
began. I feel for him. I really, really do - but goddamn it! So I do what
he’d do to me if our roles were reversed. I haul him to his feet and
plant my fist in his face, sending him back down to the ground.
Turning away from him I meet Oliver’s eyes and he gives me a cool
nod of approval. Gray throws his hands up in the air.
“What the fuck do we do now?”
I kneel down, pick up Kelsey’s gun and knife, add them to the bag
with ours, and then drop the whole thing into her little wagon and
settle down on the grass.
“Now we wait for her to come back or whoever they send to deal
with us. And nobody touches that fucking bag again until they say we
can.”
 KELSEY

he minute I’m around the corner and out of sight from them I
T crash down and lean against the fence, jamming my fists against
my mouth to keep the sobs in that want to break free. I pull my
knees up close to my chest as tight as possible and try to ride out
the panic attack washing through me. I can’t, can’t, can’t … the
barrel against his head. The look in his eyes asking me to end him.
It’s like I’m trapped in the horror movie version of Groundhog Day
where the same damn thing keeps happening and I can’t, I can’t …
breathe.
Tara shows up kneeling in front of me, puts her hands on my
knees, and just stares at me with understanding and compassion.
It’s the same look as was on her face … before. I claw at my face not
wanting, not able to go there again but then drop them and hiss,
“This is your fault! You did this. You broke me.”
She nods her head in agreement. “I did. You already know how
sorry I am for it. But that’s yesterday’s news. What are you going to
do with today’s?”
I just glare at her and then swipe away the stupid tears and then
lift my shirt to dry my face.
“What the fuck do you think I’m going to do? I’m going to pull my
panties up and go lead them to the gate to get rid of them. End of
story.”
She hits me with that you’re an idiot look again. “We both know
that would be a mistake. Kells, you need them.”
I jerkily shake my head. “That guy, Devin …”
 She interrupts me. “Is like you except without the tits! He just
lashes out instead of internalizing his pain like you do.” When I turn
my head away from her in defiance, she sighs. “He just asked you to
shoot him in the head so his friends could stay and be safe. If you
actually thought he was a threat you would have done it. History
proves that to be true.”
My head whips back to face her and I snarl. “Go to hell, you
fucking bitch!”
She throws her head back and laughs and just like that my anger
melts away like magic. I can’t help it, one of my favorite things about
my bestie was her laugh. It’s so fucking contagious and real that
anyone hearing it couldn’t help but smile. We once took a girl’s trip to
Vegas and she watched a comedy movie on the plane with
headphones on. She laughed so loud throughout it that, no lie, three
other passengers stopped her as we deplaned and told her that
listening to her laugh made it the best plane ride they had ever
taken. They said she made them smile for the whole trip.
She focuses back on me and shakes her head with a teasing
expression, reaches up, and pretends to polish an imaginary halo.
“Dude, we both know I’m not in hell or going to hell. The Devil
couldn’t handle my shit so he kicked me out.”
My lips tremble. “God, Tara, I miss you so fucking much,” I tell her
in a sad, broken tone.
Her expression fills with love and her hands come back to my
knees.
“I know, babe. That’s why I’m still here and I’ll stay as long as you
need me but you need to pack this shit up and go start making
moves for your future. It’s time. It’s long past time.”
I blink back the last of my tears, smooth my hair back and tighten
my ponytail and then nod as I release a shaky breath. I climb to my
feet and Tara steps back as a devious grin crosses her face.
“Oh, and I call dibs on Grayson. I want to lick those dimples when
he smiles.”
 I roll my eyes at her as I straighten my clothes and brush the
grass from them.
“Ryan’s totally going to punish you for that.”
She bounces on her feet and gives me a toothy smile. “Ooooh, I
sure as fuck hope so. You know how much I like it when he spanks
me!”
I choke out a laugh. “God, Tara! TMI, girl!”
She wiggles her eyebrows at me and waves me towards the
corner of the fence back toward where I left the guys and sings,
“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.”
One more deep breath and I march back around the corner and
head back down the path to them. They all scramble to their feet
when they see me coming, even the injured Gavin. I’m still having a
hard time meeting any of their gazes so instead I take in the empty
food containers and dirty plates and forks that have been cleaned up
and placed in the wagon. Next to them is the bag of guns and I can’t
help but count to make sure they’re all there. The count is right but I
frown when I see my own fully loaded gun and knife in the bag too.
Fuck. That could have gone badly considering my weapon was the
only one still loaded with bullets. I reach down and grab it and my
knife, holstering both of them before lifting my eyes to take them all
in. Linc studies my expression cautiously and says my name but
Devin cuts him off.
“I’m sorry. I know I blew it when I reached for our guns but please
believe me when I tell you it wasn’t to use them against you.” He
throws a hand through his long hair in frustration or nerves as I keep
quiet, waiting to see how this plays out.
“Being out here, with the dead? Not having a weapon makes my
skin crawl. It makes me feel … weak. I promise it was only to feel
protected against the dead - not to be used as a threat to you and
your people.”
His eyes dart to Linc and the others and they harden in resolve
before coming back to land on me. “If you let me leave, you will
never see me again. I give you my word on that but please, let my
friends stay and join your community. They’ll work their asses off to
contribute and be a real asset to your group.”
I don’t even have time to answer that before Linc is shaking his
head and stepping forward.
“No. We all stay or we all go. I’m not losing you, Dev, so shut up.”
Grayson and Oliver also step forward both shaking their heads.
“Shut up, dumbass. We’re a package deal.” Gray says.
“Family sticks together.” Oliver simply says.
I look at a woozy, swaying Gavin but he shrugs. “I’m just along for
the ride.” That makes sense. He doesn’t even really know these
guys.
I turn my gaze back to Devin as I think. I haven’t even offered to
let them stay in the first place but their loyalty to him has to mean
they’re good men, right? Please, please let my gut instincts be right
about them. I break my stare with Devin and reach down to grab the
bag of guns from the wagon and hold it out to him. When he makes
no move to take it, I drop it at his feet and glance to the others.
“Please grab your packs and weapons and follow me. I’ll show
you the way.” I tell them and then quickly look away while picking up
the handle for the wagon and pull it a few feet down the path before
stopping and waiting for them. I keep my back turned but hear Devin
curse softly under his breath and then rustling fabric as they load up
their gear.
I sense rather than see one of them move up behind me and it’s
confirmed by Linc’s low, smooth voice.
“I just want to thank you for the help you gave us. We all
appreciate the food and safety as well as the tip on the wilderness
lodge. Maybe once we are settled, our two groups could work out a
trade deal of some kind.” I don’t say anything or move so he sighs.
“It was really nice to meet you, Kelsey. I sincerely hope I will get to
see you again someday.”
My shoulders ache with tension as I hold myself stiffly and when I
hear the other’s steps I start walking, pulling the wagon as I lead
them back down the path and around the corner to where I met them
last night. I listen carefully, waiting for the click of a safety being
released or a bullet being chambered because the final - final test is
in play. If they’re going to move against me it will be now while they
think I’m expelling them back out to the dead. We pass at least three
other ivy hidden gates that would open for me but I keep going,
wanting to give them the time if they are going to try something. By
the time we reach the gate I came through last night I've nearly
chewed through my bottom lip as my anxiety climbs. I come to a stop
and slowly turn to face them - meeting each of their gazes.
Linc’s expression screams disappointment and a little bit of
helplessness like he’s not used to being unable to fix a situation.
Grayson just hits me with a wistful smile and a touch of regret.
Oliver’s is filled with understanding and he gives me another of those
cautious, calm nods. Finally, Devin. I catch a flash of what I think is
shame before his icy blues slide away and his face goes blank. I
keep my eyes on him as my hand reaches out and pushes the inner
fence gate open - exposing my home - because the stay team has
won the game in overtime by the ref’s call. That’s me, I’m the ref and
he needs to know this is a second chance. I hear the quick intake of
breath when the others figure out that I’m letting them stay but keep
watching Devin as his head swings back to me, then the gate, and
then back to me. I see his throat working as he swallows down
whatever he’s feeling and finally as he sees the warning in my eyes
and tilts his head ever so slightly in acknowledgment. This is a
second chance my eyes tell him. Don’t fuck it up.
I finally tear my eyes from him and wave toward the gate telling
them all that they can come in. My stomach swims with nerves. This
is either going to give me a new, brighter future or I’ve completely
misjudged them and I’ll be dead in the next few days. I don’t know
which one scares me more.
 LINC

’m a grown-ass man and like the others have been through the
I worst shit the world could throw at us for the last few years but
right now … right now I want to weep in relief and gratitude. I’m so
fucking tired. Not just from the last week of running but everything
that came before that. Just staying alive, keeping my brothers alive
and everything that goes into that has been a constant battle from
day one and it’s whittled away at me until I feel like I’m hanging on
by a splinter. She’s letting us stay. Even if it’s just a patch of dirt I can
lay my head safely on behind these fences, it will be such a relief.
The fact that I get to spend a little more time with this intriguing
woman and possibly eat more eggs is like winning the fucking life
lottery. I don’t even know what kind of community this is or what the
other people are like and it doesn’t even matter. To be safe, to sleep
safely through the night will be worth it.
My throat is choked up with all I want to say to her in thanks but
instead of embarrassing myself, I just nod and hope she can read all
I’m feeling in my expression as I step through into her home. There’s
a wall of young corn stalks in front of me blocking my view of the rest
of the place so I quickly move to the side to let the others come
through. Oliver goes straight to the corn and runs his hand lovingly
over some of the stalks, making them sway, a bemused smile on his
face. He took it as a personal affront when the corn crop we tried to
grow last summer failed. The gate clinking closed behind us has me
looking at Kelsey. She gives me a tight smile before moving to the
left between the fence and the corn so we all follow her. She’s
nervous about this. Maybe even second-guessing the decision to let
us stay. I get it. Trust of strangers is almost impossible in this world
now. Our group has been burned a few times. Once almost bad
enough to tear us all apart for good. I vow to myself that I will make
sure none of us makes her or her people regret letting us in. As we
follow along, I wonder if she’s the leader of the group like I am or if
they chose her to deal with us because she’s so beautiful and they
thought we’d let our guard down with her. It would be a smart move
on their part, especially as she clearly can defend herself if we were
the types of men to put a woman in danger. I guess I’ll find out soon
enough as we’ve come to the end of the corn and she hangs a right,
disappearing from view.
As I make the turn the view opens up and I see acres of gardens
and crops spread out in front of us with a few structures at the far
end against a huge rock face. Kelsey is getting ahead of us but I
can’t help but take my time as my eyes soak in all the food growing
safely behind her fences. Oliver is in awe and he bumps into my
shoulder as he passes me with his head on a swivel as he takes it all
in mumbling, “Amazing. Simply amazing,” over and over again. Gray
moves around me to help Gavin, who’s barely staying on his feet, so
I step forward to take the guy’s other arm. Dev stops me with a hand
on my arm and tilts his head back toward the fence, motioning
further down. I look that way and see a low guard tower twenty feet
away that only goes a few feet in height above the fence. What’s
weird about it though is that it’s empty. I turn away and scan the
fields, looking for people working and find none.
“Where is everyone?” Dev asks me under his breath.
I frown and shake my head. “Maybe they’re waiting for us
wherever she’s leading us to,” I tell him.
He looks around suspiciously. “I think this is a test. I think she
might have been testing us all along.”
Anger flares up in me. “So what if she fucking was? They don’t
know us. She doesn’t know us. It’s their right to test us for a fucking
month if they want to before letting us share what’s here. I swear to
fucking God, Dev - if you screw this up again with your bullshit
attitude I won’t just punch you again. I’ll beat you fucking half to
death and leave you for the dead. You’re my brother and I love you
but there will come a point that I’ll have to do what’s best for the
group and if that means we part ways, then we part ways. Don’t
force my hand. We’ve come too far together for it to end like that.”
He stares me down with furious eyes for a few seconds but he’s
the first one to look away and then gives me a curt nod. I clasp his
shoulder and give it a squeeze.
“Brother, just try and have an open mind here and watch your
tone with these people until we can get the lay of the land. Act like
the fucking guests we are. Please?”
His eyes track over the crops once more before he nods, a little
softer this time, so I clap him on the arm again and move to catch up
with the others. I slide under Gavin’s right arm and help Gray move
him along a little faster. We’ve made it about halfway through the
gardens and I’ve still seen no people but I can now make out that the
structures are three huge ass RV’s and I think the one on the end is
one of those monster motorhomes that cost almost as much as a
starter home. There’s what looks like a massive canopy hanging
above them and I can’t even imagine how much work that took to get
into place. Gray grunts to get my attention and I follow his finger to
the left and see what I think is at least a hundred solar panels
grouped together. There is a small structure or building of some type
near the end of the rows that is probably the power house. All this
food and electricity too? Damn, all I need now is Kelsey to flirt with
me again and I’ll have died and gone to heaven.
By the time we reach the end of the gardens and step onto a
flagstone surface that runs in front of all three RVs like a giant patio,
my shoulder is soaked in sweat from the heat pouring off of Gavin.
He’s practically unconscious and Gray and I are carrying him more
than supporting him. I’m starting to worry that the guy’s not going to
make it. Kelsey’s come to a stop in front of the middle camper and
she’s biting her bottom lip again. I’ve already figured out that it’s her
nervous tell but it’s also sexy as fuck and makes me want to suck on
it to soothe the ache it must cause. Dev steps up beside us so I try to
stop thinking about her lips and focus on what she’s saying.
 “Um, so there’s supplies and stuff set out inside this camper for
you all and you can use the showers in this one and that one.” She
points to the one on her left. “The hot water tanks aren’t the biggest,
only about ten gallons each so keep that in mind or things will get a
little chilly. Oh, also, the water pressure sucks so yeah, sorry.”
She laughs a nervous little laugh and it makes me smile in
wonder that she’s apologizing to us for not having enough hot water
or water pressure in the middle of the apocalypse. The best we’ve
managed in the last two years had been a camping solar shower bag
and even that only lasted for a month before we were forced to move
on when the dead built up in the area. She doesn’t seem to have a
clue how amazing the gifts she’s giving us are.
“Once you’re all cleaned up, I can give you a tour before lunch.”
Her eyes land on Gavin, hanging between us, and her brow
furrows deeply as if she’s just noticed how bad the guy has gotten.
She yanks open the camper door and waves Gray and me towards
it, never taking her worried eyes off of Gavin even when Oliver
speaks up.
“Hey, Kelsey? Where is everyone else?”
She moves out of the way for us and her hands lift and hover like
she wants to help in some way as she answers him distractedly.
“Hmm? Oh, um, it’s just me. Take him to the right and up the
stairs. There’s a bed to put him on.”
I think I hear her wrong as I turn sideways to pull Gavin up the
stairs. I think she just said that it’s only her here but that can’t be
right, can it?
 KELSEY

oly shit, Gavin went downhill really fast! The guy is barely
H conscious and he’s mumbling like he’s delirious. I’m standing to
the side of the steps up into the camper waiting for them to get
him in bed so I can get a temperature and an I.V. going but they’ve
stopped halfway through and both Linc and Gray are staring at me
like I have two heads. I hear Tara laughing like a loon so I turn my
head and see her standing between Devin and Oliver who are also
staring at me like I’m standing on my head belting out show tunes or
something. I’m about to ask what the fuck their problem is when Tara
mimes dropping a bomb, it exploding and she throws herself
backward into the air like a total freak. Bomb? I track back the last
few minutes and the lightbulb goes on.
“Oh … um … yeah, it’s just me here. Sorry?” I shrug.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” exclaims Dev.
“Plot twist,” says Oliver.
“You did all of this?” Gray asks.
Linc looked like he was almost going to drop Gavin. “How is this
possible?”
Gavin picked that moment to let out a groan and the sound of
pain had me snapping around.
“Four hundred and thirteen, no, fourteen days now, alone - says
I’m NOT fucking kidding. Not a plot twist I welcomed, believe me. I
wasn’t always alone so no I didn’t do all of this myself and we
worked our asses off for seven months to make this possible.” I
answer each one as I move from face to face. “Now, can you please
get him inside and onto the bed so I can treat him before he dies?
We can talk about this after.”
Linc’s mouth opens and closes twice before he snaps it closed
and nods while getting moving again. I follow behind them up into
the camper and when they go right up the next set of steps I go left
to snatch all the medical supplies I had laid out last night. Just
because I’m completely neurotic and wasn’t sure how bad their
friend was I grabbed two I.V. bags and a kit from the cavern storage
just in case. I dash up the stairs and dump everything onto the bed
beside Gavin and get to work setting up the I.V. and tubing. I hang
the bag from a hook on the wall beside the bed that used to have
Tara’s bathrobe hanging from it. I work at finding a decent vein in
Gavin’s arm but he’s dehydrated, making it a challenge. Linc and
Gray are still standing beside the bed watching me but I ignore them.
“There you are,” I mutter when I finally get the flash and set the
needle a touch further and then finish setting and taping it in place.
When I lean back to set the flow rate Grayson asks, “How do you
know how to do that?”
“Practice,” I tell him as I do a temperature check. I frown at the
number. The Tylenol I gave him earlier should have brought it lower
than this. I need to get more into him. “Can one of you get me a
glass of water please and the med kit from the wagon outside? I
need the two drug bottles in it.”
Linc leaves to get what I’ve asked for while I have Grayson help
me get Gavin under the covers. I hold my breath at the nasty body
odor coming off of him but it’s to be expected after being in the wild
for so long. Once he’s feeling better, I’ll tape his wound up better and
he can have a shower too. Oliver did a decent job on the stitches for
an amateur but the wound is still super inflamed and angry looking
with discharge draining out. It’ll take a few days for the antibiotics to
do their job and get it under control. Until then, we just have to keep
it clean and dry so I do just that and place a fresh wrapping on it.
Linc comes back and with his help lifting Gavin, I get two more
Tylenol and another antibiotic pill into him to give him a double dose
to get started.
 “He’ll need another pill at supper time and then one at bed.
Starting tomorrow, we’ll take it down to three a day and see how it
goes from there. Other than that, we should just let him rest for now.”
I tell them as I snap off my gloves and gather all the garbage that
accumulates with treating wounds.
They follow me down to the main level and I find Oliver and Devin
waiting for us. After I dump the trash in the can I turn to find them
staring at me … again. Man, this is going to take some getting used
to. My skin feels too tight for my body under their combined gazes so
I redirect their attention to a new topic.
“Okay, so there are stacks of clothes over there on the couch. I
didn’t know what, um sizes you would need so there’s an
assortment. Take what you want for now. There’s more in storage we
can get later.” I turn and point to the dining table. “Toiletries. All the
basics, toothbrush and paste, shower gel, razors, shaving cream,
um, deodorant. Anything else you can think of just ask, it’s probably
in storage. There’s clean towels under the sink and just help
yourselves to whatever you need in here. If two of you want to grab
some stuff and bring it over to my camper I’ll show you where the
shower is and then I’ll leave you to get cleaned up. I have some
chores that need to get done so we’ll talk at lunch.” I babble and rush
for the door. Thankfully, none of them say a word before I get out.
I pace in front of my camper waiting for whoever’s going to use
my shower to come out. My nerves are strung tight. This is a lot
harder than I thought it would be. My eyes keep sliding over to the
cupboard under the grill where I hide my secret stash of smokes.
Who am I hiding them from? Oh yeah, no one. I’m insane in case I
forgot to mention. I’m not really a smoker, or not a full-time one
anyway but every now and then if I’m having a bad night or day or
fucking life, I’ll light one up. I think I average five a week. Yup, totally
not a smoker. Nope, not me. God, my brain is broken. Thankfully,
just then Linc and Oliver come out, their arms filled with clothing and
toiletries to save me from my internal rantings.
I paste on a smile and give them a quick tour of where everything
is and try to dart back out but this time Linc talks back. He has such
a pretty mouth, argh! Stop it, brain.
“This is a fantastic setup, Kelsey. I’ve never seen a model like this
before.”
“Yup, I picked it because, well, er, yeah, I picked it.”
He smiles at me like he’s either completely charmed by me or
he’s afraid I’m rabid and might bite him. Bite him … nope again,
stupid brain.
“If you have some work to do, I can put off getting cleaned up and
help. All of us are planning to pull our weight. We’re all in to make
this work. Seriously, put me to work, I’m ready. I can shower later.”
Some of the tension flows out of me. I’m going to have help. I
won’t have to do everything myself anymore. Honestly, I’ve done it
all for the last year and two months so I know I can do it alone. I’ll
just be happy to have some people to talk to that talk back … and
are alive.
“Thank you. That’s nice of you to offer but I’m good. Just have
your showers and settle in today. I promise to have you dirty
tomorrow. Uh, I mean, get you dirty, no, work you … I’m just gonna
go now and put my head in a bucket so, I’ll see you guys later?” I
flee out the door to try and save the last of my dignity as Linc laughs
and Oliver’s lips twitch in an almost smile.
I speed walk past the middle camper while throwing up danger
signs in my head overtop the mental images of naked men in my
shower and bolt for the cavern. I race in and dump myself into a
chair, sitting at the table we set up in here for the hottest part of the
summer so we didn’t have to run the camper a/c units constantly. I
sit and drum my fingers for all of three minutes and then I’m back to
pacing again. This is everything I thought I wanted. Others to help
me, to be with me so I wouldn’t be all alone anymore. But not once
did I ever think it would be all men. Never mind freaking hot men. I’m
no longer functional to do the guy-girl thing. I even stopped reading
all the romance novels loaded on Tara’s tablet because it made me
too sad to think about that anymore. Look at me - I can barely string
a sentence together to talk to them. They’re going to see right
through to my crazy and either turn me out from here or steal a
bunch of supplies and make a run for it and I wouldn’t even blame
them.
I don’t know how to do this. I need to focus on something else
until it’s time for lunch and I have to try again even though I don’t
know how to do this. I need to try because I need them. Slightly
more settled, I grab an empty egg bucket and a scoop of feed and
move into the chicken pen.
“Ladies, new development! There are men, with an E as in
multiple, men in my campers. This is serious. No more hen parties
where we get out of control and make fools of ourselves. That
means you, Snookie, Jenny, and Cardi. Keep your breasts feathered
at all times ladies and try to behave. We need these guys to stick
around. I, I can’t go another year by myself so flock up and be on
your best behavior, please?”
I get flaps, head bobs, and even a few squawks in reply so I
breathe out, knowing they’ve got my back, and collect the last of the
eggs. When I turn to leave the pen I freeze momentarily, thinking I
see movement by the cavern entrance but nobody’s there. After a
minute I turn away, open the outside gate for the girls, and leave the
pen.
A wave of exhaustion hits me as I walk across to the kitchen, the
all-nighter I pulled to get things ready for my new guests is catching
up to me, and I pull my phone to check the time. I groan when I see
it’s only nine-thirty in the morning. I’m never going to make it through
the rest of the day at this rate and the more tired I become, the
dumber my mouth will get. I need a nap, STAT. I dump the egg
bucket on the table, remind myself to get back to processing the
dehydrated eggs still in the machines, and head next door to the
gym, locking the door behind me. I flop out on one of the exercise
mats, set an alarm on my phone for two hours, and lay my head
down. I have to trust the men I let into my home or this will never
work so I’m going to start right now. Hopefully, everything is where I
left it when I wake up.
 DEVIN

move quickly out of sight when she starts to turn so I don’t think
I she saw me. It wasn’t even a question for me to follow her,
especially when I saw her run as soon as she was past the camper
she left us in. The cave was a surprise I wasn’t expecting and
thankfully her back was to me when she was pacing around in it so I
had time to duck back out. When she started talking to someone, I
knew I had to see who it was and why she lied about being here
alone. No more hen parties, she said and she meant it, fucking
literally. Chickens, she’s talking to fucking chickens. That means last
night she was all dolled up for her … chickens?
When I don’t hear her talking anymore, I head back to the
camper. This woman confuses me, a lot. This whole place is an
apocalypse survivor’s fantasy and she’s been here all alone for over
a year if what she says is true. Jesus, no wonder she’s fucked up.
It’s like she has multiple personalities and I’m not even talking about
the whole chicken thing. I mean, if I was alone that long, I’m sure I’d
end up talking to them just to hear the sound of my own voice. I don’t
think I’d party with them but whatever gets you through, I guess. It’s
actually kind of adorable. She’s hot, like next-level hot in looks. I
definitely prefer today’s look to last night’s but that’s its own can of
worms that could cause problems, judging by how the guys are all
reacting to her. We as a group have gone down that road before and
it almost destroyed us. That’s not happening again if I can help it.
So she’s beautiful and kind of adorable, then there’s the super-
soldier skills she’s shown us with minimal effort. She can disarm a
man without breaking a sweat, fires a gun with deadly aim, redirects
zombie hordes with a tap of her finger, and throws knives like a
master. She’s kind to us even after I’m a total dick to her, invites us
in, and basically hands us the keys to her kingdom with all the
supplies we want and I just don’t fucking get it. No one is that …
nice. At least, not anymore.
There has to be an angle to her I’m not seeing. I can’t, I won’t
believe this is the real deal. There’s no room for weakness anymore
and she’s already dented my shield pretty fucking hard with what
happened out there. I can still feel her soft hands on my face and
see the look on her face when I basically told her to kill me so the
others could stay. For some reason, what I did cracked her like a
china doll. I could see her unraveling inches from my face and her
reaction and her words reached right down into my tattered soul and
squeezed it, like a fucking hug, because she recognized it. That
means she’s been forced to do something horrific and by putting that
barrel to my head, I cracked her shield that protects her from what
she’s done. So, yeah, she has to have an angle of some sort for
letting us in because otherwise? Otherwise, I’m so fucked.
Linc is standing in front of her camper looking my way and walks
over to meet me just as Oliver climbs down the stairs looking like he
just stepped out of a fucking GAP catalog. Tan chinos and a blue golf
shirt and it reminds me of the engineer he used to be. The only thing
that doesn’t fit the look is his still wet, too-long hair and the worn
boots on his feet that have logged miles and miles just like the rest of
ours.
“Where did she go?” Linc asks me when he meets me halfway.
“There’s a cave, a big one - past the motorhome. I couldn’t see
very far into it but there’s chickens … that she talks to. She broke the
bad news that they can’t have hen parties anymore and they have to
behave because there are men, with a capital “e”, as in multiple,
here now.”
I see his eyes fill with amusement and a grin starting to form so I
say, “Don’t,” curtly.
“Don’t what?” He asks with a frown.
“We can’t do another Mia so just don’t.”
 Oliver scoffs. “This one’s no Mia.”
I round on him. “Really? And how the fuck do you know that? We
don’t know this chick.”
“Mia sat on her ass and did nothing. She ate the biggest portions
of our rations, whined if we asked her to do the simplest thing, and
royally screwed each one of us both in bed and out of it.” He waves
his hand out to encompass all of the fields. “Four hundred and
fourteen days she said she’s been alone. That means she planted
every single thing out there, probably on her knees and she just
basically handed it all to us. She also looks like she’s one missed
meal away from falling over. Open your eyes and look past her
beauty. She’s skin and bones and clearly, it’s not from lack of food
options. She’s fading away. Kelsey is no Mia.”
Linc and I stare at him for a few moments processing everything
he said and then turn to face each other and say at the same time,
“She’s no Mia.”
I make an exasperated face at him for the jinx but still have a
point to make. “That just makes it worse. There weren’t a whole lot of
feelings involved with Mia. We all knew what it was and had an
agreement, even if she did fuck it all up. Kelsey could end up being
more than for some of us and that’s where it gets dangerous.”
Oliver crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head.
“Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun a little bit, Dev? We’ve barely
been inside the fence for an hour and you’re already assuming she’s
going to be interested that way in any of us?”
Now it’s my turn to scoff. “Please. Four guys and one woman?
End of the world? All of us living together? You both know
something’s bound to happen!”
Gray takes that moment to come out of the camper after his
shower, wearing new jeans and a fresh t-shirt. “What’s bound to
happen?”
Oliver tells him. “Dev thinks this will be another Mia.”
 “What the fuck, man? First of all, they’re night and day
personality-wise from what we’ve seen so far. Second of all, slow
your roll. We’ve been here two fucking minutes. And third, can’t you
just fucking try to be happy about something for once? Seriously, go
take a hot shower. It’ll help lube you up enough to pull your head out
of your ass.”
I choke out a laugh at the last one and throw my hands up.
“Alright, alright! But when this all falls apart, I get to say I told you so
AND I’m claiming the last chili mac MRE.”
Linc growls at me and turns toward one of the campers, heading
for a shower. Gray looks at me in annoyance and Oliver, well Oliver
just pins me with his regular calm cool look but I’m pretty sure it’s
his, you’re an asshole, calm cool look so I leave them to it and step
up into the other camper for my first real shower in two years.
 KELSEY

he alarm startles me awake and I slap a hand down on it to

T silence it but also check with blurry eyes to make sure it was my
wake-up alarm and not the fence alarms. There’s always a
chance some of the horde from last night was still heading this way
and might hit the fences. As long as there’s nothing to catch their
interest near the fence, they’ll just keep going. At least that’s how it
worked the last three times one came through.
The music would have pulled the closest ones away but the
fireworks would have drawn the dead from miles around. There are
three more shots left in the cannons where Ryan and Tommy set
them up, over on the far side of a quarry. That was another of their
ingenious ideas. Zombies attracted by the noise and mindlessly
plodding along, fall into that huge pit and they can’t get out. Ugh –
three shots left. One more thing to do. I’ll have to head out there and
reload the cannons soon.
I push to my feet and stagger over to the mirror on the other side
of the weight benches and check my face and hair. Fuck, I look
wrecked. Nothing I can do about the luggage under my eyes but I
swipe the little bit of smudged mascara away and smooth out my
ponytail. It’s as good as it’s going to get right now. Still better than
before I did my spa day and holy crap wasn’t that good timing,
considering? Speaking of my new empire mates, I should go check
and see if they’ve hijacked the place yet. Right, and lunch. I said we
would have lunch. They probably need a bit more than the cheese
and crackers I usually get by with.
 I head to the kitchen and load up a basket with sandwich makings
and fresh veggies to make a salad. I stare into the fridge, trying to
remember what people used to eat for lunch and finally just add a
bowl of hard-boiled eggs to the basket.
I carry the basket out into the sun and right away spot all four of
them hanging out on the outdoor couches in front of Tara’s camper.
Shit, I’m going to have to stop calling it that. The boys, no, men’s
camper. I lift a hand in a wave and miss a step when all four of them
spring up from their seats. The rough and dirty apocalypse chic they
were rocking before showers and clean clothes couldn’t hide how
attractive they all were but now that they’re all clean and fresh, well
… yummy-licious. I dump my basket on the ten-seat patio dining
table in between Lisa’s uh, the motorhome and the men’s camper
that I scrubbed clean of a year’s worth of grime last night and keep
going toward my camper for the rest of the lunch supplies, trying not
to look at them.
“Lunch will be ready in about ten minutes,” I say as I walk past
them, eyes averted.
“Wait! Kelsey, you don’t have to make food for us.” Linc tells me,
pulling my eyes to his.
“Oh, well, um, ok. It’s just sandwiches and salad so I was just
going to set stuff out so you could build your own.”
His smile blinds me causing me to blink a few times. “Let us help.
We can carry stuff out to the table and get it set.”
I look at the others but Gray is really the only one I can read as
Devin stares back with a blank expression and Oliver, hmm, Oliver
only seems to have one expression. I tug my lips up at him anyway
and nod. “Sure, that’ll speed things up.”
Linc, Grayson, and Oliver trail behind me like baby ducks and
Devin goes the other way to inspect the basket I dropped off. They
follow me up into the camper and I’m thankful for the kitchen island
to put some space between us as I’m feeling a little crowded. Half of
the canned ham I opened for the breakfast I made is left so I set it on
the counter and add homemade salad dressing, mustard, my own
recipe mayo, and a jug of lemonade from the fridge. A cutting board
and a couple of sharp knives, a large bowl for the salad, a stack of
plastic plates with utensils and a set of glasses as well as a roll of
paper towels finishes up all we should need.
“You’re short a plate,” Oliver says, holding up the stack. “There’s
only four.”
“Hmm, oh, right. I’m going to make Gavin some soup. I think it’ll
be easier on his stomach than a sandwich. Thanks for reminding
me.”
He nods at that but says, “You’re still short one plate.”
I frown and count the plates in the stack again and still come out
with four.
“We still need five plates for all of us and you,” he tells me
patiently.
I tilt my head to argue that I don’t normally eat lunch but decide
just to go with it instead and smile at him. “You’re right. I am short a
plate.” I quickly snag another from the cupboard and hand it to him.
He rewards me with the first smile I’ve seen from him and holy shit
does that smile change Oliver’s look in all the right ways and
because I’m me, I blurt it out. “You have a really nice smile, Oliver.”
Fuck me, did I just say the magic words ‘cuz open sesame, those
cool brown eyes of his heat right up and so do my cheeks as I blush
at the way he’s suddenly looking at me. I duck my head and start
gathering up the supplies to take out but Linc and Grayson pluck
everything from my hands, leaving me nothing to carry at all. The
three of them leave to take everything to the table and I just stand
still for a minute and take it in. “Well, then,” I whisper to myself
before shaking my ponytail back over my shoulder and following
after them.
The guys make quick work setting the table and laying out the
food. They leave the seat at the head of the table open for me and
it’s kind of sweet. As I slice up the ham and tomatoes and rip up
lettuce for a salad, Grayson takes a piece of the crusty bread and
smells it with a blissful look on his face and I can’t help but grin.
 “You made this, like from scratch? With flour and uh, stuff?” He
asks me, causing me to laugh.
“Yup, flour and stuff all went into it.”
As I toss the salad he points to different containers on the table.
“What about this?”
“Mayo, or as close as I can get to it with all-natural ingredients,
anyways.”
“This?”
“Salad dressing, so easy to make a child could do it. It’s just oil,
vinegar, and some herbs.”
“What about this?”
“Store-bought or store scavenged, I guess, mustard. That stuff
never expires.”
He leans back in his chair and shakes his head with a bemused
smile. “Amazing. What were you before all this, superwoman?”
I huff a laugh at that and start dishing out salad as they begin
building their sandwiches.
“Hardly, I was an overworked, exhausted medical intern. I lived off
of ramen noodles and shitty vending machine food when I actually
had five minutes to eat.” I set the mostly empty bowl aside, sit down
and lean back watching them all eat. It’s nice. It makes me feel
happy to see people eating some of the food I struggled so hard with
learning how to make.
Oliver is sitting beside me and he surprises me when he sets the
sandwich he’s just finished making onto my plate and nudges it
toward me. It’s the sweetest thing ever so I give him my best smile
but he just raises his eyebrows expectantly at me until I pick it up
and take a bite. Only then does he reach for more fixings to make his
own. Everyone spends the next few minutes busy eating and when
Dev asks his first question I’m a little shocked that I’ve already eaten
half the sandwich Oliver made for me.
 “You sure have a lot of supplies here. That explains why we
couldn’t find a crumb of food in any of the towns we passed through
on the way here.”
I frown at the slight accusation in his tone and set my half-eaten
meal down. “Oh, I’m sorry. We just took as much as we could in the
beginning.”
“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just tell us how
this all came to be.” Oliver tells me waving his hand out towards the
gardens.
I nod hesitantly. “We got lucky and got out of the city fast. Like the
first day everything kicked off fast. Ryan and Tommy, they were the
biggest nerds in the most amazing way. Tommy always said he didn’t
like that word and preferred to identify as ‘smarter than you’,
instead.” I tell them with a grin. “And he totally was. Both he and
Ryan were just brilliant. As we drove out of the city he said, ‘Don’t
worry, girls. We war-gamed the shit out of a zombie apocalypse.
We’ve got this!’ and all I could think was, of course you did.
Everything’s going to be just fine. And it was … for a while.”
I shake my head at the memory and take a sip of the lemonade
Oliver poured for me before I go on.
“As nerdy as they were, they also liked to hunt and camp so they
already knew about this place and which forest roads to take to get
in here. They had it all planned out step by step. The back of the
Jeep was filled with everything we would need for the first two weeks
and thank God Tara packed a bag for me because they picked me
up at the park across from the hospital in my scrubs and Ryan
refused to stop at my place on the way out of the city. There was a
plan and stopping for anything could jeopardize that. God, he was so
OCD about some shit. Anyways, we hit the suburbs and people were
already losing their minds. Mobs were at every grocery store and a
Costco was on fire. Ryan just drove past it all, ignoring everything
like he had a set destination to get to. I’m sure they had it picked out
and planned but it was a surprise to me, Tara, and Lisa. He pulled
into this luxury motorhome dealership. Tells us to wait in the car and
just strolls into the showroom. Tommy runs in behind him and
suddenly the big glass windows split apart and here comes Ryan
driving that monster over there.” I point towards the motorhome
parked next to us.
“The staff had all left to check on their families I suppose - and
just left the place wide open. Anyways, we transferred everything
over from the Jeep and they drove us here. We lived in it all together
for ten days before the guys said it was time to scavenge. By then
they had laid the whole plan out and we knew exactly what the steps
would be to making this all happen. Herd the dead where we wanted
them so they’d be out of the way, then trucks, then two more
campers hauled back here. Fencing, God, so much fencing - then
we needed to find any livestock still alive before the dead killed them
all. After that, it was food, medical, tech, seeds, building supplies,
and on and on and on. Pick a place, lure away the dead with loud
noises, it was almost easy to just take, well, everything. We had
plenty of weapons by then. This is the south, you can’t hardly spit
without it landing on a gun but the guys insisted we only use silenced
weapons.”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “They had a list of zombie apocalypse
level-up rules that they drilled into our heads. Rule number three,
guns go bang and more zombies will follow. Only fire an unsilenced
gun as a last resort.” I breathe out and shake my head again at how
crazy that time was.
“Herd the dead where you want them. What does that mean?”
Oliver asks.
“Oh! So easy if you keep your head! Every town has either a
football or baseball field, right? And they almost always are fenced
in. So you drive a couple of cars or trucks onto the field, space them
out a little, and leave them running. Crank the music, use a wedge to
keep the horn going, and then run away. An hour or so later, all the
dead in town are now in the field attacking the cars and you just shut
and lock the gate. That leaves just the ones trapped inside stores or
houses and usually, they’re in manageable numbers to take out once
you free them. There you go, redirect and contain.”
 Oliver leans back and shakes his head. “So simple in its
brilliance. Work smart, not hard.”
I laugh at that. “Yeah, except we worked like dogs for the first five
months. They rode us girls nonstop, no matter how much we whined
and complained. Just kept promising it would be worth it in the end.”
I look over the gardens and then the empty motorhome and start
chewing on my bottom lip.
Gray leans forward and asks, “Were you married to one of them?”
“What? No! My best friend since kindergarten, Tara, she was
married to Ryan. Tommy was married to Lisa. I was the last one of
our group still single. Med school was not conducive to relationships.
But they never made me feel like a third wheel. We were family, you
know?”
They all nod so I shrug. “I always thought once we were finished
setting up everything we’d find more survivors and have the good
ones join us.” I smile sadly at Linc. “That’s why I picked that floorplan
for my camper. I wanted there to be room for when we helped
others.”
“What happened to them? Where are they?” Devin asks.
I stare at him for a few beats, working at my lip again, and finally
give him a slight shrug. “I don’t know. Ryan, Tommy, and Lisa went
out on a run and...and they never came back.” I tell him softly.
“And Tara? Where did she go?” He presses.
I break our stare to look over his shoulder at where she’s
standing with her arms crossed over her chest and a very serious
frown on her face. She starts slowly shaking her head. I can’t stop
looking at her as it all comes back. Every detail, every moment right
up until …
“Kelsey.”
A hand grips my wrist causing me to flinch and I look down to find
Oliver’s hand stilling my own. The uneaten second half of my
sandwich is completely shredded. I snatch my hands back and
shove to my feet. The fake smile I push my lips into actually hurts but
I hold it in place.
“Does anyone want anything else to eat? I should get this stuff
put back into the fridge if not. It’s a little too warm today to leave it
sitting out.”
I look at each face but the pity I see on three of their faces has
me dropping my eyes and reaching for the leftover food to gather up.
Oliver pushes his chair back and stands and I can’t help the second
jerky flinch his abrupt move causes me.
“No need. You put together this meal so we’ll clean it up. Actually,
I believe Dev offered to do the cleanup earlier so would you be
willing to walk me through your crops? I’d love to see all that you are
growing and is that a greenhouse I saw on the east side?”
I latch on to his words like a lifeline. “Yes! Yes, it is and I would
love to show it to you and walk you through the crops.” I tell him, with
only the slightest catch in my voice.
His calm, cool eyes are like a soothing balm for my anxiety and
thrumming nerves. He reaches a hand out to me slowly like he’s
afraid of scaring off a feral animal and gently takes one of my hands.
My shoulders come down and I relax a little bit at how nice it is to be
touched, even in such a simple way, after so long and then he nods
and tugs me away from the table.
We walk in comfortable silence, giving me the time I need to get
my balance back after Devin pushed me for answers about Tara. It’s
not until we’ve almost reached the greenhouse that I realize he’s
never let go of my hand. Of course, that’s when I start getting weird
and awkward about it. Should I let go? Is he still holding it only
because I haven’t let go? Is my palm sweating? Oh my God, he’s
going to be so grossed out if my palm is sweating! My eyes track
down to our joined hands and then quickly away and then back
again. Fuck! I don’t know what to do! I’m seconds away from another
full-blown panic attack when we reach the greenhouse and
thankfully, Oliver gives my fingers the tiniest of squeezes and lets go
to reach out and open the door for me.
 OLIVER

wanted to reach across the table and stab Dev in the eye with my
I fork. I know he’s not a cruel person so I don’t know what his game
was by pushing her like that to tell us where her friends are. It’s
pretty obvious to us all that they’re dead, like the majority of people
now, or they’d be here with her - but he just had to make her say it.
He had to be blind not to see the signs of her anxiety ramping up like
that. The asshole dealt with enough of my issues when we were kids
before I mastered it to know what was happening. The checked-out
haze of her eyes as they darted around searching for an exit, the
way she chewed on her bottom lip and the fidgeting fingers that tore
her food apart. Food that she very much needs to eat. She’s
underweight and it shows in the sharp angles of her collarbones and
her tiny wrists. I bet if I ran my hands up her sides I’d be able to feel
each one of her ribs. We will all have to work on getting food into this
woman if we want to see her healthy and that also means not
fucking winding her anxiety up. Fucking Dev!
Her hand feels so small in mine and the feel of it just amplifies the
urge I have to protect and take care of her as we walk to the
greenhouse. I notice the exact moment she realizes I’m still holding it
as her fingers tense against mine and her breathing picks up. I don’t
react as her eyes dart down to them, away, and then back but when
we reach the clear plastic-covered frame structure, I squeeze them
slightly and let go to open the door for her. Kelsey has been alone for
a long time and it’s going to take time for her to adjust to simple
touches and attention.
“So, setting this up was actually pretty easy. At least compared to
some of the other projects we tackled anyway. The frame was from a
party tent, you know, like those big white tents you used to see at
outdoor weddings? We scavenged a couple rolls of the clear plastic
from a big box home improvement store and then used it to replace
the white canvas. There’s a lot, like a lot, of staples and duct tape
holding it all together but it works great for getting the starters going
before transferring them out to the ground.” She pans a critical eye
over the mostly empty tiers and focuses on the pots that have small
trees in them. “I’m trying to grow some citrus and avocado trees but
it will be years before they start bearing fruit.”
I lean back against a cutting table and focus on her as she picks
a few dead leaves from the baby trees. “You seem to be very
knowledgeable about all of this. Agriculture, baking bread, weapons,
it can’t all be from your friends’ master plan.”
“Ha! I knew nothing when this all started. Like, you know nothing,
John Snow level nothing. Ryan and Tommy had the overall plan but
the actual knowledge of doing a lot of this stuff came after the fences
went up and we could relax a little bit and learn. I don’t know if you
remember back then but a lot of the internet stayed up for almost a
month before crashing. Tommy figured that’s when backup systems
and towers finally started to go dark. Anyway, around the end of
week three, we hit libraries and when the guys were messing around
with some of the computers in the first one we got lucky and saw
they could access a bunch of websites. They went nuts printing off
information. Tara, Lisa, and I spent half a day hauling out entire
reference sections into the trucks while they geeked out. There’s an
awful lot of hours in a day now that all the noise has been stripped
from the world and I had just spent years with my nose in textbooks
for med school - so I already had an edge on the studying part.” She
shrugs one slim shoulder. “You can only spend so much time
watching DVDs in your downtime so I just studied and then I studied
some more.”
Kelsey moves over and leans against the table beside me,
shredding the dead leaves with her fingers. “After … after I was
alone, it helped a little. Helped to just eat away some of those hours
with studying and work, you know?” She asks, turning those big grey
eyes up to me.
 This woman is an oxymoron. It should bother my analytical brain
but instead it intrigues me. The more I learn about her story, the
more I’m awed by her strength. But it’s written all over her face and
in her eyes just how fragile she is. I don’t think it would take much to
shatter what’s left of her. Even though I know we will have to be
extremely careful not to add cracks to her, the way she’s looking up
at me right now has me turning towards her and my hand coming up
to cup her cheek. Those haunted eyes of hers widen at the touch
and I’m ready to drop my hand at the first sign of panic that comes
into them. Instead, I feel her lean slightly into my palm and it’s all the
sign I need to move closer to her so that our bodies are only
separated by the slimmest margin. When I run my thumb over her
sharp cheekbone I feel her tremble in response. My head lowers
down to hers as she tilts her head back to offer her lips to me and
her eyes flutter half-closed …
“There you guys are! I’ve been looking for you.”
She jumps back like a scalded cat and now the panic flashes into
her eyes. I clench my jaw as I turn away and nail Grayson with a
death look that promises excruciating pain in the very near future.
The bastard shoots me a satisfied grin and then focuses past me on
Kelsey.
“Gavin’s not doing so great. He’s thrashing around and moaning
quite a bit.”
“OH, oh no! I can’t believe I forgot to check on him! I’ll go right
now.” She gushes out as she rushes past me for the door. Her
headlong rush slows for just long enough to shoot me a big-eyed,
confused look over her shoulder before she’s through the door and
gone.
I stare at the empty door for a few moments until Gray laughs.
“Well, that looked therapeutic.”
I step away from the table to walk past him towards the door and
slam my fist into his stomach as I step past. “Here’s your therapy,” I
mutter. He folds over with an “oomph” and then just laughs even
harder between wheezes. As I leave the greenhouse I can’t help but
wonder how much easier life would be without my brothers around to
mess everything up. Much easier, but I wouldn’t trade any of them.
Not even for the last chili mac MRE.
 KELSEY

rush down the row between potato plants with my heart pounding
I and it has nothing to do with how fast I’m moving. We almost … he
was going to … oh my god! What the hell am I doing? I’ve only
known him for hours … HOURS! I know I was desperate to not be
alone anymore but, come on, Kelsey! Nope, ain’t going to happen. I
need to lock down my lips. Put a damn chastity belt on them or
something. No matter how much Oliver’s calm gaze soothes my
crazy or how many butterflies flutter around in my belly when he
looks at me like I’m the most important puzzle he needs to solve, I
can’t go there. It would only end up causing trouble. Nope, friend
zone it is.
I hit the patio and bounce up the stairs of Tara’s, er, the men’s
camper and find Devin and Linc glaring at each other inside in tense
silence. I freeze and dart my eyes between them but settle on Linc’s
when the anger on his face slides away and a smile replaces it. I
swallow past the worry I’m hit with at the tension in the air.
“Um, is everything ok? Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I guess I
should have knocked now that you guys have moved in here.”
“You don’t have to fucking knock, Kelsey. This is your place.
We’re just fucking guests.” Devin snaps at me, causing me to flinch
back for a second. Argh! He’s such a jerk but strangely enough, his
abrasive attitude towards me is almost easier to deal with than when
the other three are being super nice to me.
“No, you are not!” I snap right back at him. “I let you in so this
could be your home. If you want to be a guest, if you don’t like it
here, then grab what you need and check the fuck out of this hotel.”
 We glare at each other for a few beats but a loud moan from the
bedroom pulls my attention so I just shoot him a solid middle finger
salute and whirl around to race up the stairs to my patient. I ignore
Linc’s chuckle but almost trip up the stairs when I hear him quietly
say to Dev, “That was fucking hot.”
No time to think about that because Gavin is in serious trouble.
He’s moving around restlessly on the bed and he’s deathly pale
except for two bright spots on his cheeks that tell me his fever hasn’t
backed down at all. I move over and change his fluid bag out with a
new one and just stand looking at him, frowning while I rack through
my med intern brain trying to come up with what else I can do to
treat him. I have a lot of medical supplies stocked away from the
med clinics and urgent care centers we looted but there are still a lot
of things I don’t have access to anymore. A nasty shiver goes
through me at the memory of the horror house level of carnage we
had to wade through to get them.
Linc steps into the room and I stare at him without really seeing
him thinking, thinking, thinking.
“Kelsey? Are you ok?”
“Hmm? When did you say he got this wound and what caused it
again?” I ask.
He looks at Gavin and then back to me. “I think it was four or
maybe five days ago. Sorry, the days kind of blend together when
you’re on the run. Um, he was dodging a zombie and he got too
close to a wrecked truck. A sharp jagged piece of metal sliced right
into his side. What are you thinking?”
Before I can ask my next question, Gavin’s body snaps straight
and stiff and he starts convulsing. I dive forward to reach him and try
to turn him on his side but one of his arms jerks up and I get an
elbow to the face, sending my head rocking back.
“Dev! Get up here!” Linc roars and seconds later Devin flies into
the room. He looks at me hanging half off of the bed, sees Linc trying
to hold Gavin down, and slams his body down on the seizing man’s
legs.
 “Turn him on his side! Recovery position!” I yell at them as I get
back on the bed and try to stabilize his neck.
“Kells, back off!” Linc yells at me but I ignore him and get two
hands on either side of Gavin’s jaw as they turn him. His neck and
jaw are rigid under my hands as the seizure goes on for what feels
like forever but is probably only a minute or two. When it finally slows
and then stops, we work together to turn him back onto his back.
Linc and Dev step back as I run my hands up and down Gavin’s
neck and jaw. His muscles should have relaxed with the end of the
seizure but they’re still stiff. I think I know what this is and it pisses
me off.
“Shit!”
“What were you thinking? He could have hurt you worse.” Linc
demands to know.
I give him a “what are you talking about”, annoyed look.
“Your eye is already swelling up!” He says in exasperation.
My hand goes up to my face and I press the tips of my fingers
against the ache I can now feel and wince but then drop them and
shrug as I focus on Gavin again.
As I straighten the kinked IV tubing I answer. “Three black eyes,
one swollen jaw, eleven stitches, and that was just the first six
months of my internship. Sometimes, being a doctor hurts.” I lean
back and sigh before looking at them. “Does one of you have a knife
on you?”
Devin nods slowly, “I’ve got one in my boot. Why?”
I look back at Gavin sadly. “Can you stay here with him for a few
minutes? I need to run to storage for something but I won’t be long.”
He shares a confused look with Linc but nods. “Yeah, of course,
but why the knife?”
My eyebrows shoot up at the dumb question but I answer
anyway.
“In case he dies. Why else?”
 Again with that shared confused look but this time Linc speaks.
“He wasn’t bit. We checked him to be sure.”
Now my eyebrows really shoot up in surprised disbelief. “Doesn’t
matter. The dead don’t stay dead. Bit or not. How do you guys not
know that?”
Gavin starts moaning again so I scramble off the bed and move
over to stand in front of Devin and take his hand.
He tries to snatch it back but I narrow my eyes and snap at him,
“Stop it!”
Then I pull it up and bring it around to the back of my head and
move his fingers to the soft spot just under my skull.
“Feel that? Right before the bone of my skull starts? A hard swift
thrust right there with the blade. It’s fast and less messy.” I drop his
hand and turn away to go get what I need. “If he stops breathing,
don’t wait. Sometimes, they can turn really fast.”
I slip away before they can ask any more questions and jog over
to the cavern, past the hen pen and all the way to the back to a rock
wall that isn’t real and use both hands to push on the spring-
mounted door that blends into the fake rock wall. There’s no power
back here because running cords or wiring to it would give away the
hidden room so I click on the powerful battery run lantern and go to
the shelves with the medical supplies. I grab what I need and an
extra bag of saline and head back to my doomed patient. There’s a
small chance he might recover but it’s a slim bet.
Oliver and Grayson are just returning from the fields as I reach
the men’s camper, ha - got it that time, and of course, Oliver’s
shrewd eyes zero in on my face and narrow. He stops me with a
hand on my arm as I try to slide past him.
“What happened to your eye? It’s swelling up.”
I step back and move around him. “It’s nothing. Gavin had a
seizure and his elbow caught me as I was rolling him. It’s fine,
honest!” I say as I go back up the steps and climb to the bedroom.
Linc and Devin are right where I left them so I nod and wave them
out.
“You guys can go. I’ve got this.”
Linc crosses his arms over his wide chest with a hard look. “You
stay, we stay.”
It’s sweet but it also kind of makes me want to roll my eyes at
him. Instead, I just load the syringe with morphine and inject it into
the port. I set the vial and the recapped syringe in a drawer and by
the time I look again, Gavin’s body has relaxed and he’s resting
easier. The steady rise and fall of his chest tell me it’s safe to leave
him for a while. I wave my two over protectors out of the room and
we join Oliver and Grayson on the main level.
“What did you give him?” Devin asks with a hint of suspicion in
his tone.
I’m tired, like really fucking tired so I snap at him sarcastically.
“Cyanide. It’s all part of my evil plan to take you guys out one by
one.” He throws up his hands in defense and steps back so I gently
probe at the swelling on the side of my eye while giving the real
answer. “Morphine and no, not enough to kill him, just enough to
keep him comfortable until …” I trail off not wanting to say it. Not
wanting for yet another to leave.
“You don’t think he’s going to get better, do you?” Linc asks, so I
heave out a breath and shake my head.
“I’m ninety percent sure that it’s tetanus. His neck and jaw are
already stiffening and eventually he’ll suffocate. There’s a small
chance he might recover but that combined with the infection in his
wound makes that doubtful. I only have antibiotics in pill form so if he
can’t swallow them the infection will lead to sepsis, that’s if tetanus
doesn’t … kill him … first. There’s nothing I can do but keep him
comfortable. I’m sorry.”
A wave of exhaustion hits me so I lean against the kitchen island
and close my eyes, rolling my neck to try and ease the stiffness and
knots in my shoulders. “Is it still today? It really feels like we’ve had
three todays and we should just move on to tomorrow by now,” I say,
trying to lighten the gloom I’m feeling. When I open my eyes there’s
a chest in front of my face and an ice pack lifting up towards my eye.
I frown at it and then look up at Linc’s determined expression.
“Come on, Doc, treat the injury.”
He says it cajolingly so I give him a stubborn pout but swipe it
from his hand and gingerly apply it to the swelling.
“That’s Doctor-intern to you, mister,” I tell him in a mockingly stern
tone, causing him to chuckle as he takes my elbow and leads me
over to the couch, taking the seat beside me. I can only see out of
one eye because of the ice pack but it’s enough to see that they’re
all looking at me - again. It’s a little too much attention all at once so I
drop my gaze down to my lap and pick at the frayed threads in one
of the rips in my jeans and try and think what else I can do, if
anything, for poor Gavin. There’s no way of knowing if he’ll even live
through the night. That thought has me sitting up straight and
dropping the ice pack from my eye.
“You can’t sleep in here!” I blurt out. I see confusion at that so I
clear my throat and clarify. “Gavin. If he dies in the night you will all
be in danger when he turns. Um, there’s three extra beds in my
place and the couch folds out into another one. You guys can sleep
in there until, um, until. I’d put you up in the motorhome but it’s
packed full of stored supplies and it would take a lot of work to move
it all out.”
Linc lifts my hand with the ice pack back onto my eye. “It’s fine,
Kells. We can sleep anywhere. Don’t worry about it.”
I sigh and lean back. “That’s nice. Kells, I mean. My friend…
friends used to call me that. It’s nice to hear it again.”
“You should take a nap. It will do you good.” Oliver pipes up,
causing me to smile at his sweetness but I shake my head.
“I am tired, long night of partying and all,” I say, shooting Devin a
look with my one good eye. “But there’s stuff to do. I still have to give
you guys a tour and plan something for supper. Oh! How about
spaghetti? Do you guys like spaghetti? That’s a good group meal. I’ll
have to go pick some romaine for the salad but that’s easy.”
 Oliver moves to stand in front of me while shaking his head. He
reaches out and nudges me sideways until I’m practically leaning
against Linc, who lifts his arm and slides it behind me. He smells so
good and there’s warmth coming off him that makes me even
drowsier.
“We all know you weren’t partying all night, Kelsey. You were
getting things ready to welcome us in.” He takes the ice pack from
my eye and sets it aside and then squats down in front of me and
takes my hands in his. “The tour can wait. We aren’t going anywhere
so you can show us around later and we told you earlier, you don’t
have to cook for us. We can fend for ourselves. Close those pretty
eyes and have a nap, please.”
He’s so sweet. My eyes drop to his mouth and I remember how
close we came to kissing in the greenhouse. If I just lean forward …
no, bad, friend zone! I do as he says and close my eyes because it’s
just easier but I scoff. “Spaghetti’s easy. I can do spaghetti in my
sleep. It’s no big deal.”
I feel him tuck a stray piece of my hair behind my ear. “Ok, you do
that. Go to sleep and make spaghetti.”
My lips curve up at how silly that is but then Linc’s arm drops
down to my shoulder and he pulls me a little closer. He’s so warm
and did I mention how nice he smells? As I doze off I hear Devin say
something about the last chili mac MRE and wonder if I should make
chili for supper instead.
 KELSEY

snore and rumbling under my ear have my eyes popping open. I

A stay perfectly still and just revel in the warmth of Linc’s body for a
few minutes. God, it’s been so long since I’ve had arms around
me and even longer since it was in a man’s arms. This is nice. This
is way too nice and it’s giving me feels that I have no business
feeling. Hours, Kelsey. They’ve only been here hours! Speaking of
hours, how long was I out? Stuff to do - so I slide, wiggle, and
shimmy until I’m free of Linc’s arms and can we just stop for a
minute and look at those arms? Forearms and biceps and muscles
and is that a tattoo peeking out of his shirt sleeve? Argh, stop
Kelsey, just stop!
I get to my feet and ignore Tara, who’s giving me a smug grin and
wiggling her eyebrows. “First Oliver and now Linc. Ooooh, girl, you
are a total hussy! Who’s next? Can it be the broody dickish one?
Think about that hair of his. You could totally hold on to it with both
hands while he’s on his knees …” I grab a salt shaker from the
counter and shake some at her. She stops talking, looks down at the
salt that fell to the floor, and then gives me that idiot look. We both
know she’s not a spirit to be chased away with a little salt but she’s
gone in between blinks so whatever. I pull my phone from my back
pocket and check the time. I’m guessing I was asleep for about two
hours. Cool, cool - four hours' worth of naps in one day. That’s
almost as much as I get in a night, nice.
I look around and notice all the toiletries and stacks of clothes are
gone so I hope that means that they moved everything over to my
camper. I quietly move up the stairs to the bedroom and do a quick
check on Gavin. He’s still breathing and resting quietly so I move out
but this time I close the bedroom door, just in case. Zombies can’t
generally open doors. I creep out of the camper so as not to wake
Linc. If they’ve been on the run for a week, then he needs a nap way
more than I do. None of the guys are outside so maybe they’re all
napping. I head out into my gardens and pick some romaine lettuce
and some young garlic bulbs and carry it into the cavern kitchen. I
don’t mind cooking in the camper but this room gives me more space
to spread out and most of the supplies are out here anyway. Tara,
Lisa, and I would make our group suppers in here so all the larger
pots and serving dishes are here.
Once I have everything gathered and laid out I get started.
Everything takes longer to make now that it has to be made from
scratch but the work helps distract me from my anxiety and
depression so I try and enjoy it. The water goes on to boil as I
reconstitute the butter powder and smash, peel, and chop the garlic
to add to it. I shred a pile of sharp cheddar cheese and another pile
of parmesan and set it aside. Two home-canned jars of sauce thick
with pepper chunks, onion, garlic, and oregano go into a pan and I
add two scoops of dried, crumbled textured vegetable protein or TVP
to it. It always amazes me how that stuff turns into a perfect mimic of
ground beef in looks and texture and takes on the flavor of whatever
sauce you add it to. I leave that to heat up and simmer as I assemble
the garlic bread, cutting a crusty loaf lengthwise in three levels, then
laying them out on a cookie sheet and spread them with the garlic
butter then top with cheese and slide them into the oven. While I wait
for the water to boil, I wash the lettuce and toss it with some of the
parmesan and Caesar dressing made from a powdered mix. It’s not
as good as the real stuff but it’s not bad. I add in the croutons made
from stale sourdough bread cut up into cubes, seasoned, and baked
until crunchy. I’m so glad I get to use up some of these ingredients
that I’ve made but never get around to eating. It’s such a shame to
have to dump stuff into the compost.
The water is boiling now so in goes the noodles. The sauce and
garlic bread smell so good that I’m actually feeling a little hungry for
a change. While the noodles boil, I pull out a large bowl for the
spaghetti, a platter for the bread, and place a colander in the sink.
I’m just putting the rest of the shredded parmesan in a small bowl
when I hear my name being called.
“In here!” I call back and Grayson steps into the room a few
seconds later. A smile fills his face when he sees me but then kind of
freezes in place as he takes a deep smell of the room. I watch,
amused, as he closes his eyes and just savors it for a few moments.
When he opens them again I see a flash of sadness pass through.
“Sunday night family supper, at Mom’s. I never thought I would
smell this again. Wow. Do you ever not realize you miss something
so bad until it’s there again?” He asks me a little wistfully.
All I can do is nod because I know exactly what he means. He
shakes his head and starts walking over to me.
“We told you that you didn’t have to cook for us but wow, I am so
happy that you did.” He ends up right in front of me, in my space,
leans down, cups my face, and places a kiss on my forehead.
“Thank you, Kelsey. This means more than you can probably
imagine.”
I blink up at him as my heart does this little lurch but he pulls
back, claps his hands once, and says, “Tell me what I can do. How
can I help?”
I look over at the timer on the stove and tell him, “Everything
should be ready in about ten minutes so you could run back and ask
the others to set the table? Um, then you could come back and help
me carry all this over. If you don’t mind?”
He grins at me and reaches out to tug on my ponytail. “Not only
do I not mind, I’m happy to do it.”
I smile back at him. “Great! Oh! Remind me to give you guys cell
phones so we can text instead of running back and forth.”
He nods and turns for the door but pauses and turns back with an
awed look on his face. “Cell phones. I wondered about that. Let’s
have that conversation over supper, please.”
I just nod so he dashes out the door.
 Gray’s back quicker than I thought he’d be and I’m just tipping the
pot of boiling water and pasta into the colander so things are almost
ready. I get him to transfer it to the bowl once it’s drained while I slice
the bread into pieces and arrange them on the tray. When he sets
the bowl on the table I pour the thick sauce over the top of the
noodles and sprinkle a dusting of parmesan over the top.
“Voilà! Supper is ready.” I say with a smile. “If you can carry that,
I’ll bring the salad and bread, please.”
“I’m at your service, Chef.” He jokes.
We load up and carry everything out of the cavern and over to the
patio dining table where the others are waiting and I smile when I
see that plates and utensils have been set out. Grayson places the
huge bowl of pasta in the center of the table and turns and takes the
dishes from my hand and places them down.
“Gentlemen, may I present the best meal we’ve had in two years,
created by the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”
I nudge him with my shoulder and laugh. “Stop! It’s your first
supper here so I wanted to make you a real meal to say, well,
welcome home, I guess.” I bite my lip and then shrug. “I hope you
like it. Dig in!”
Grayson takes his seat and I move around to settle in the chair at
the head of the table that they’ve left for me again. Oliver’s on my left
again with Grayson beside him. Devin is on my right with Linc beside
him. Praise rings out as plates get filled.
‘This looks amazing, Kelsey.”
“Smells heavenly!”
I bounce in my seat a little, happy that I could do this for them. I
can only imagine how hard things must have been for them out
there.
“Is this fucking cheese? Seriously? Are you for real? Come on,
this is getting a little ridiculous. Do you not realize we’re living in the
middle of a zombie apocalypse?” Dev mocks.
 I narrow my eyes at him, lean over the table and snatch the piece
of garlic cheese bread from his fingers. “If it’s SO ridiculous, you
don’t have to have any!” I tell him with a little wiggle of my head and
then chomp down and take a big bite of the bread. He gawks at me
while the others burst out in laughter. When I swallow the bite down I
point at him with what’s left of the piece.
“The apocalypse isn’t worth living through without cheese.
Cheese … is at the top of my food pyramid.”
He throws his hands up and leans back from the table but just as
quickly moves back in and swipes another piece of bread from the
tray and quickly crams the entire piece into his mouth, causing me to
laugh.
Oliver sets a full plate of food in front of me and I groan. “I’m
never going to be able to eat all that!”
He just points at it and says, “Try.” He’s a sweetheart so I do as
he says. Once I’ve had two forkfuls of pasta, some salad, and
another piece of bread, he asks. “As ineloquent as he is, Dev has a
bit of a point. How do you have cheese? Do you have cows
somewhere and did you make it yourself?”
I wrinkle my nose and shake my head. “No, no cows sadly. Just
my hens and an irritable rooster. As for the cheese, two towns over
there’s a cute little artisan cheese shop and bakery. Not going to lie, I
cried a little bit when we went in and all the cheese there was spoiled
from the heat. But Tommy, Tommy just had a knack for ferreting out
the good stuff. There was a basement cold cellar underneath the
shop and it had racks of cheese wheels and blocks all dipped in wax
just waiting for us. That time, I cried a lot but in happiness. So …
food pyramid complete.”
We eat in comfortable silence for a while and by the time I’ve
cleared half my plate my stomach is bursting. I’ve eaten more food
today than the last two days combined. I push my plate away and
lean back in my chair, hands on my food baby belly. Oliver’s eyes dip
down to my plate and he gives me a nod like I did a good job which
is kind of weird but also kind of sweet. Grayson wipes his lips with a
paper towel and sends me an adoring look.
 “This is amazing, Kelsey. Seriously, thank you again for making it.
For everything you’ve done for us. For letting us into your home.”
I feel my cheeks heat up. It has only been hours since they
climbed my fence but so far, I’m really glad I opened that gate for
them as the others nod their agreement. Even Devin.
Grayson sets his napkin down and asks, “You said you’d tell us
about cell phones? How does that work?”
“Mmm, right! So, I’m not even going to pretend that I understand
how they set it all up and when they tried to explain about closed
networks, repeaters, boosters, and code my brain kind of shut down
and my eyes glazed over. Both Ryan and Tommy were tech gods as
far as I’m concerned and honestly, if something starts to glitch, I
have no way or idea on how to fix it. Without tech support on speed
dial, I’m basically screwed.”
His eyes light up in excitement. “You have tech support now! I
used to be a web and app designer, always tinkering with
electronics. If you’re comfortable with me taking a look at the setup I
can help if needed.”
I sit up straighter in my seat. “Yay for skills! That’s awesome. All
the fence alarms and redirection traps are tied to it. You have no
idea how worried I’ve been that something will fail on the system and
I would be left without security or any way to draw the dead away
from here. Grayson, this is huge. What an asset you will be.” I tell
him reverently. I smile at the way he sits straighter and kind of puffs
out his chest. I get it. I get how good it can feel to be needed and I’m
so glad I can give him a little bit of that. “Oh! I can give you the
schematics and the user manual! Tommy put it all together and
printed it out.”
He nods eagerly but then tilts his head to the side thoughtfully.
“Tommy … Tommy Aikido?”
My mouth drops open in shock and my hand comes up to cover it
as my eyes go wide. My voice has a desperate plea in it when I ask,
“You know … knew Tommy?”
 He shakes his head slowly but his expression is filled with
wonder. “I knew of him but I didn’t know him personally, I’m sorry.
Tommy Aikido was an up-and-coming star in the industry. All eyes
were on him to be the next Gates or Zuckerberg. Kelsey, he was top-
level talent.”
I kind of deflate a little bit that he didn’t actually know Tommy, but
still. “Wow, I, I didn’t know that. He and Ryan were always just like
my two annoying brothers that lived for video games and comic con.
We’ve been, were - all friends since high school.”
He presses his lips together and looks at me with compassion.
“I’m sorry, Kelsey. I’m sorry you lost your friends, family.”
Hot tears pick at the back of my eyes so I wave his words away.
“I’m sure we’ve all lost friends and family. All of it’s a tragedy.”
Oliver jumps in. “Water and waste. How does that work?”
I blink at him a few times at the abrupt and random words but
then realize that he’s trying to distract me from the sadness that’s
filled me. This guy, in only a few hours of knowing me, can read me
like a book. It kind of scares me. But I’m also grateful for the change
of subject so I pivot with it.
“There’s a natural spring in the cavern for water. It’s one of the
reasons the guys picked this place. We set up a pump and hoses to
take it where we need it. The freshwater tanks on the campers need
to be filled up from it when they get low. There’s rain barrels set out
through the gardens with a tarp catchment system around them. As
for waste, a lot of composting and uh, I’ll just show you where the
black water tanks drain out to later. It’s easier than trying to explain
it.”
Everyone is done eating and I’m kind of talked out from going so
long with only having my hens and sometimes Tara to talk to, so I
push away from the table and reach for empty plates but Linc stops
me.
“Hey now, let’s make this clear right from the start. You cook for
us, we clean up. Let us take care of this, Kells.”
 I beam a smile at him but shake my head. “It’s ok if you guys just
chill, you know. I can’t even imagine how tiring and hard things have
been for you all out there, especially for the last week while you’ve
been on the run. I’ve been safe inside my fences living the easy life
all this time. Honestly, I don’t mind cleaning up. You guys should just
relax.”
He turns his head and looks out at the crops and then back to me
with a raised eyebrow. “Yes, it’s clear you’ve been lazing around
eating bonbons all this time.” When I roll my lips in and duck my
head, he pushes to his feet. “We will do the cleanup and dishes,
woman.” He points at my chair. “Sit.”
I laugh at that but step away. “Ok, ok, you guys can clean up. I
need to check on Gavin and see if I can wake him for another pill
and some broth.”
Linc drops a hand on Dev’s shoulder. “Go with her … just in
case.”
 LINC

stretch out on the thick mattress in the loft and let my muscles
I unlock one by one. Warm, clean, fed, and safe. All things I stopped
taking for granted two years ago. This is like a dream and I keep
thinking I’m going to wake up any minute now and find myself back
out there running and scraping by just to live another day. To keep
my brothers safe and alive another day. I do it to myself but the
weight of responsibility I feel for their wellbeing is crushing some
days. Kelsey has given me, given us - a chance to change all of that.
After tending to Gavin, she left frustrated and sad that she can’t do
more to help him. She disappeared out into her gardens for a while
but we left her alone to give her some space. I know it’s a big
adjustment for her to have us here. When she finally came back it
was after dark and after checking that we all had everything we
needed for the night, she ducked into her room and closed the door.
It’s been twenty-four hours now since we met her but everything
about Kelsey feels right to me. I feel like I’ve known her so much
longer than just one day. And I want her. I really want her to be mine.
It’s not just because she’s the first woman we’ve seen in a year
either. Mia was convenient, a willing body to scratch that itch, and all
four of us being with her had been completely consensual on her
part. The fact that she turned out to be a viper made us all swear we
wouldn’t let another woman divide us in that way again.
Kelsey is different. She’s so kind, caring, and generous. And yes,
she probably was desperate to not be alone after so long but
something tells me that if we were bad guys with ill intentions
towards her, she would have picked up on it and sent us on our way
or even ended us as a threat completely. She’s shown that she’s
smart and resourceful. She obviously tested us and found us to be
worth taking a chance on. I didn’t miss the fact that she took off her
guns shortly after she let us in. That’s a huge sign of trust to show
us.
I close my eyes and picture the cherry highlights of her dark hair
as the sun hits it. The way she blushes and her awkward little quirks
when we try to be nice to her or flirt a little bit. It has me wanting to
push a little bit harder just to see what she’ll do next. And those
eyes, fuck, those eyes just slay me. When she turns them up all big
and wide? It goes straight to the alpha male in me and I want to yank
her against me and growl out, MINE! My cock stirs when I imagine
her biting that pouty bottom lip of hers. Damn, we’re going to have to
be careful here. As much as Dev is pissing me off with his attitude
about her, he’s right. I’m not the only one that’s getting feelings for
her and it could get messy depending on how she reacts to three
men, four - I know he fucking wants her too, putting moves on her.
I try and push thoughts of complications away so I can enjoy the
first night of comfortable, peaceful sleep I’ve had in forever but I feel
the camper sway with movement and then hear the cries and
whimpers come through the thin wall separating my space from her
room. Kelsey is dreaming and it’s not the pleasant kind. I lay there
tense and listen to it go on for ten minutes until I can’t take it
anymore. I need to go and wake her even if it pushes the boundaries
by going into her room at night. I’ve just decided to get up and go to
her when I hear a loud gasp and the whole camper goes still and
silent. A minute later, it sways again as she gets up and her door
opens. I’ve pulled the curtain across the opening to the loft so I don’t
see her as she goes past but I hear her step down the stairs and the
outside door open and then close softly as she leaves the camper. I
lay there for a few seconds thinking I should leave her, that thought
only lasts for a few moments before I’m throwing back the covers
and climbing out of the loft.
There’s a small light on over the stove so I spot Dev right away,
standing at one of the large windows looking out and move over to
stand beside him.
 “What is she doing?” I ask him in a low voice.
He tilts his head with a frown as he watches her bent over in front
of the large barbeque grill. When she straightens up, I see a knowing
smirk cross his face so I nudge him further aside so I can see better.
Kelsey has a bottle of what I think is whiskey in one hand and
something else I can’t make out in the other. We stand there like
creepers and watch as she settles on one of the patio couches,
pours out at least a double shot into a glass, and downs it all in one
go.
“Like a fucking pro champ,” Dev murmurs.
“Shit, that was sexy as hell,” I whisper and then almost choke
when she pours another glass and lights up a cigarette.
“Well, well, well. Princess’s crown has a little bit of tarnish on it.
Fuck, now I have a hard-on.” He bites out as he turns away and
goes back to the pullout couch.
“Shouldn’t one of us go out there?” I ask him, frowning as I watch
her looking sad and alone, gazing out at the gardens.
He climbs back into bed and lays back, locking his fingers behind
his head before answering me.
“No, and I’m not just saying that to be a dick. A lot of shit went
down today for her and a lot of memories were brought to the
surface by her telling us her story. It’s a lot to unpack for anyone.
Leave her alone, at least for tonight.”
I hesitate but Dev knows about fighting off demons at night. Out
of all of us, he had the worst shit go down when all this started so I
take his advice and turn away from the window and go back to bed. I
doze off and on for hours but it’s not until the sky is lightening
outside the long narrow window in the loft that I hear Kelsey come
back in and the door to her room close. When the camper sways
lightly as she climbs into bed, I finally let sleep take me fully.
When I wake again my body aches from sleeping so hard and
deep in the same position. I stretch but quickly sit up when I smell
coffee and something sweet cooking in the air. Coffee! How I lived so
long without coffee and not turn feral amazes me. The scent has me
rolling to the edge of the mattress and over the wall to the landing,
down the stairs, and straight to the kitchen. I pull up short when I see
Grayson flipping pancakes onto a stack, Oliver setting out plates on
the small dining table and Dev still sprawled out on the pull-out bed. I
turn and look back up the stairs and see Kelsey’s door still closed so
she must still be sleeping. Good, she needs it after being up half the
night.
“Dev told us what happened last night,” Oliver tells me quietly as
he pours me a mug of coffee and hands it to me. “You all know how I
struggled with anxiety when I was younger so I have some insight on
what’s happening with her. Kelsey is holding on by some very frayed
threads.”
He hits each of us with a look. “Let’s not play games here. We all
want her already, even you Dev.” He says when the man scoffs.
“Don’t try and lie, you know I can see through your shit. If we want
something more with her, we need to help fix her. That means
pushing food on her whenever we can to help heal her body and
making sure she sleeps.” He nails Dev with a hard look. “No more
winding her up and pushing her.”
“Ha! You might know a lot, O, but have you noticed she has no
problem pushing me right back? Wrapped up inside all those broken
pieces is a firecracker that pops out when I push.”
“Not when you push, when you’re a dick, there’s a difference,”
Oliver snaps back.
Before Dev has a chance to reply we all freeze when Kelsey’s
furious voice screams.
“FUCK! Snookie!”
The camper shakes as she stomps and her door flies open and
she rushes through, flying down the three short steps to the door.
Just as she reaches for the handle to open it she freezes and her
head turns slowly to track all of us staring at her.
Her mouth opens in surprise and her face goes bright red as she
stammers out, “Ch-chicken.”
 And then she’s out the door and gone. We all exchange surprised
looks and then as one we rush to the door to see what’s going on.
We line up beside each other on the patio and watch as Kelsey,
wearing nothing but a thin, short white tank top with skinny straps
and a pair of white booty shorts - zigs and zags as she chases a
flapping, squawking chicken. Her mass of hair is down, looking wild
and tangled and when the sun hits her we all see straight through
the sheer white fabric. Sweet Lord, she’s not … wearing … anything
… underneath. It’s mesmerizing as she moves and … bounces in all
the right ways and I secretly cheer the chicken on. When she finally
wrangles the thing and scoops it up to her chest we hear her scold it.
“Bad! Bad, Snookie!”
She turns and manages two angry stomps in our direction when
she catches sight of us lined up watching her and she freezes again.
I can’t stop the wide grin that fills my face.
“Yup, we’re totally fucking goners,” I say.
“All the way down the rabbit hole,” Oliver states in his cool voice.
“Balls deep.” Grayson laughs.
“Well fuck me sideways,” mutters Dev.
I didn’t think she could hear us from where she is but I forgot how
far sound travels now in this quiet world so when her brow furrows
and she shakes her head just the tiniest bit I feel my grin slipping.
When she takes off running toward the cavern with the chicken
clutched to her chest, I curse and spin away, rush into the camper
and snag the hoodie I was wearing last night and her rubber boots
and then tear after her.
I slow my steps as I reach the cavern’s entrance and I hear her
talking.
“You can’t do that! We can’t do that anymore, girls.
Embarrassment with a capital E has re-entered our lives. There are
witnesses, wit-ness-es to how we behave now. The crazy train of
before needs to put the brakes on and come to a stop. You heard
them, Snookie. Linc said they’re goners and Oliver thinks they fell
down the rabbit hole and that means I’m the Mad Hatter! We can’t
keep acting crazy like that or they’re going to leave us. Do you want
that? Do you want to go back to the two hundred days? Because
that was some dark shit we almost didn’t make it through.”
Crap, she totally took our commentary the wrong way. I can’t let
her think that so I step in and call her name but it comes out slightly
strangled when I spot her down on her knees with her sweet peach
ass in the air as she works on fixing the small hole in the chicken
wire near the ground. My cock stands all the way up at the sight
before me.
“Kel-sey?”
She glances over her shoulder and frowns at me before going
back to work so I stride over to her and gently lift her to her bare feet.
“Hey, hey, let me do that. Here, I brought you these.”
I hold out the hoodie and her boots and she looks at them like
she doesn’t know what to do with them for a second but then
glances down at herself and gasps. She snatches the hoodie from
me with wide embarrassed eyes and clutches it against her chest
like she’s naked and really, the tiny outfit she’s wearing is probably
even sexier than if she was naked. I turn away so she can get the
hoodie on without me embarrassing her even more and feel her yank
the boots from my hand so I turn back. She launches into her pitch
once she pulls the boots on.
“So, um, listen. I know I can come off a little deranged sometimes
but …”
I can’t. I just can’t wait. Before I even realize it, I’m holding the
front of the hoodie she’s now wearing in my fist and yanking her
against me. Her head tilts back in surprise, making it perfect for my
lips to crash down on hers. At first, she’s completely still from the
shock of it but then her hands come up and ball into fists in my t-shirt
to give her the leverage she needs to get up on her toes and pull me
closer. When her lips part to give me access I almost moan at how
sweet her mouth and tongue are. My hands drop to her hips and
tighten, causing her to make the sexiest little noise and I can’t resist
sliding my fingers around to cup her perfect round ass and pull her
against me. She’s pressed against the hard length that’s straining
against the sweatpants I slept in. She needs to feel just how much I
want her. She moans at the contact and I’m so ready to find the
nearest wall to pin her to and take this to the next level when …
“Your chickens are escaping again and breakfast is ready.”
I groan at Oliver’s bad fucking timing as she breaks the kiss and
pulls back to look down with a frown. A gasp of outrage blows out of
her.
“Damn it, J-Wow, Cardi! What did I just say?”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing and move her
back from me. She sways a little bit on her feet and then a blush
creeps up her cheeks and her eyes start darting in every direction
like she’s looking for the quickest escape route. I lean down and
gently cup her chin, forcing her to meet my eyes.
“We aren’t going anywhere and all of us have bought our first-
class tickets on your crazy train and we are all aboard for the ride.” I
kiss her lips softly and then pull away. “I’ll take care of the chickens.
Go with Oliver so you can get dressed and eat the breakfast
Grayson made for you.”
She blinks at me with dazed eyes but doesn’t resist when Oliver
takes her hand and tugs her away and out of the cavern. I breathe
deep and readjust myself in my pants before looking down at the two
free birds.
“All right, ladies, let’s come to an agreement.”
 KELSEY

liver pulls me along in my dazed state. I can’t believe Linc kissed

O me. I can’t believe I kissed him back! Oh my god, what a kiss
too. What the hell is wrong with me? His hands on my ass and
me pressed up against some serious weaponry in his pants had me
moaning like a complete hussy. If Oliver hadn’t interrupted, I
probably would have … Oliver! Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck! I groan out
loud causing him to look my way so I pull on our hands to make him
stop.
“Oliver, I am so sorry. I didn’t … that wasn’t … fuck. I’m sorry.” I
fumble out. Best apology … ever. Argh!
A small smile tugs at his lips as he pulls me by the shoulders to
face him.
“Kelsey, you have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything
wrong.” He tells me in his serious voice.
“But … but yesterday … in the greenhouse …”
He cuts me off. “Can you trust me when I tell you that it’s ok?
That whatever you do with any of us, is ok?”
I kind of melt at how sweet he is for letting me off the hook but
then the rest of his words hit home and my eyes pop wide. Any of
them? As in …
Now his lips do curve up into a smile and he runs his hand down
my arm and threads his fingers through mine, tugging on it to get me
walking again. “Come on, let’s get you your breakfast. There’s plenty
of time to figure other stuff out.”
 I let him pull me along again because my brain is in overdrive
picking apart what he just alluded to. But did he? NO, right? He
couldn’t have meant that how I took it. He must have meant if I end
up with one of them. One, Uno, sing-u-lar. Ok, that makes more
sense. Tara bops along beside me and mimics drinking from a straw
until her cheeks suck in.
“Who’s a thirsty girl? You totally pictured taking them all on when
he said that, didn’t you?” She asks with a manic, gleeful expression.
“Oh my god, do it! That would be the epic level of whoredom. You
lucky fucking bitch! I’m so jelly.”
I turn my head to look at her so Oliver won’t see and mouth a
hard “NO”, then flick my fingers to tell her to go away. I can’t deal
with any of this before coffee and maybe a shot of something
stronger too. Oliver opens the screen door and I step up into the
camper where he again guides me to a chair at the dining table and
nudges me down into it. There’s a plate in front of me with a stack of
three pancakes and a side of scrambled eggs. I frown down at it
wondering about his constant need to see me eat. I usually stick with
half a pot of coffee and don’t eat until sometime in the afternoon. I lift
my head to ask for a cup but he’s already placing one down in front
of me so I just give him a tiny smile in thanks and reach for it. I sit
and sip at it, keeping my eyes on the dark brew as Oliver sits beside
me and Grayson and Dev take the seats on the other side. That’s
when I remember the crazy half-naked chicken chase and feel my
face going red in embarrassment.
“I hope you like pancakes and you don’t mind that I raided your
pantry. I wanted to repay you for cooking for us last night.” Grayson
says.
Still dying of mortification here so I just keep my head down and
murmur, “Help yourself to anything. Seriously, nothing’s off limits.”
My head shoots up when Dev chokes on a laugh and I frown at
him until he raises his eyebrows and his gaze dips down my body
and I realize how my words could have been misconstrued. My eyes
squeeze shut for half a second on yet another idiotic moment I’ve
provided and I almost drop my coffee in my hurry to set it down as I
jump to my feet.
“Help yourself to any of the food or supplies is what I meant. Um,
I’m going to go get dressed. Thank you for breakfast, Grayson.” I
rush out as I spin away to run to my room. I hear Grayson say, “But
you didn’t eat anything.” And Oliver snaps, “Damn it, Dev!” Before I
get my door closed. I throw myself onto the bed, boots and all, and
wonder if I can ask the gods for a do-over on this day. Maybe I can
just hide out here in my room and leave them to their own devices. I
hear the screen door slam closed and then Linc asking where I am.
After that it’s just the low rumbling of their voices and I can’t make
out any words. Probably for the best. I don’t need to know what
they’re thinking about me right now.
I sigh and toss my head against the mattress. It doesn’t matter
what they think of me. There’s shit that needs to be done today. I
have to check on Gavin and give him his next shot. I topped him up
around five this morning before coming back to bed but he’s going to
be due pretty soon. I should also try and clean him up a bit. Even
though I know he won’t be with us for much longer, he’s still a human
and deserves to keep his dignity whether he’s aware of it or not. I still
have to show them around the place, get them cell phones and then
there’s the chicken pen that needs to be mucked out. After that, I
have to harvest all the ripe tomatoes, peppers, garlic, and onions,
process them into sauces and salsas, and start canning. Shit! The
eggs are still in the dehydrators. I’m going to have to compost that
whole batch. What a waste! So as much as I want to cower in here
to avoid any more idiotic episodes, can’t - shit to do.
I roll off the bed and check the temperature gauge outside my
window and make a face at how warm it already is. It’s going to be a
hot one today and I’m going to be out in the gardens and in the
kitchen cooking and canning so I search my drawers for an outfit that
won’t have me overheating and come up with cut-off jean shorts and
a blousy, billowy tube top that won’t stick to me once I start sweating,
and my favorite low red chucks. Dressed, I creep out of my room and
duck into the bathroom without being seen. Oh yeah, brave zombie
slayer can’t face a few guys, that’s me. Teeth, face, hair up in a
messy bun to keep it out of the way and I have no reason left not to
leave.
I give myself a stern look in the mirror, bare my teeth and tell
myself, “Don’t be weird. Be normal!”
My face falls in my reflection and I shrug. It is what it is.
All four of them are still in the camper when I come down and
they all look at me and their hungry gazes travel down to my bare
legs. I ignore this because I. AM. Normal. And guys will always look
at legs in shorts. Someone has wrapped up my breakfast plate with
plastic wrap and left it on the counter. Sweet, but I reach past it for a
travel mug and dump the last of the coffee pot in it. The two
swallows I got earlier wasn’t nearly enough and they can make
another pot if they want. Coffee, mine! I take a really big gulp even
though it burns a bit, square my shoulders and channel all the
normal-ness I have as I turn to face them.
“Ok, stuff to do today. Gavin first. After that I need to show you
guys around and where everything is. Hook you up with cell phones
and walk you through the system or what I know of the system for
the fence alarms and such. Chicken pen cleanout. Harvest some of
the garden, process, cook and can it all. Then I was thinking of
chicken tacos for supper. You guys good with that?”
Linc gets to his feet and smiles with a nod. “Yes, ma’am. You tell
us what to do and we’ll get it done.”
“Oh! I didn’t mean you all …”
“Kells, you need to let us pull our own weight. You don’t have to
do everything yourself anymore, remember?”
I am normal. Normal is letting others help with the load so I beam
a smile back. “Yes, of course.” Then a little devil whispers in my ear
so I turn to Devin and my smile turns a little evil. “Devin, you don’t
mind mucking out the chicken pen, do you? Their shit makes for
good fertilizer.”
He stares back at me and I see him run his tongue over his teeth
as his head starts to nod the tiniest bit and then he laughs. “Well
played, Princess. Well played.”
A giggle slips out of me at his reaction but I clamp my lips
together because I’m not the type of girl to giggle and turn to the
others. “Ok, give me a few minutes to tend to Gavin and then we’ll
start with that tour,” I tell them as I reach for a drawer in the island.
“I’ll go with you. You shouldn’t be alone with him now.” Linc tells
me.
I pull a sheathed knife from the drawer and hold it up for him to
see before clipping it to my waistband. “I do know how to use this,
you know. I’ll be perfectly fine on my own.”
Linc sends me a humoring smile and just says, “No.”
I make a sour face but shrug and move for the door. “Ok, meet us
outside in ten, guys.”
Linc follows me to the men’s camper and up into it. I pause at the
closed bedroom door and knock. When I don’t hear any thumps from
inside I ease it open but Linc pulls me back and takes my place to be
the first one in. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Gavin still on the
bed but then gasp in surprise. The sheets have been changed and
there’s a garbage bag laid out under the towel that is cradling his
hips.
“Someone cleaned him up? That was on my list for this morning.”
“Oliver and I did. You don’t have to do that. You’re doing enough.”
I hum in disagreement but leave it alone as I change out his IV
and port another dose of morphine. I palpitate his neck and jaw but
he’s just gotten stiffer and I can hear a slight wheeze as he breathes,
meaning it’s getting harder for him to pull air in. I slump down to sit
beside him and pick up his hand and just hold it as I stare sadly at
him.
“You don’t have to be sad, Kells. You don’t even know him. None
of us did.”
I shake my head. “And that’s what makes this even sadder. He
doesn’t have anyone who loves him to be sad that he’s dying. To
mourn and miss him. Everyone deserves that so I’ll hold his hand
and be sad that I can’t save him. It’s the least I can do.”
I can feel Linc’s gaze on me but I just stay focused on Gavin so
he comes around the bed, stands behind me, and puts his hands on
my bare shoulders.
“Then I’ll be sad with you.”
 KELSEY

e sit with Gavin for a while until I feel ready to set his hand down
W and then we go out and meet up with the others. I take them
through the gardens, naming everything that I have growing and
pointing out the rows that will need to be harvested today.
“I staggered the starters so that everything wouldn’t come ripe at
the same time. Way too much work to do all at once.” I tell them.
Oliver leans down and picks a ripe red tomato. “Why did you plant
so much when it was just you here?”
I tilt my head while thinking on that and chew on my bottom lip but
when he looks up at me he nods knowingly and answers his own
question.
“It’s because that’s what was in Tommy and Ryan’s master plan
and there’s an awful lot of hours in the day that needed to be filled,
right?”
I blink quickly to keep the tears at bay and give a tiny nod. He
stands and threads his fingers through mine and pulls me along the
path between rows.
“You did an amazing job, Kelsey. They would have been proud of
you.”
I swallow hard, trying to keep the sob that wants to break free
down.
“Let’s go see where you process and store all this bounty.”
I nod jerkily because wording would be too hard right now and let
him lead me and the others out of the gardens and over to the
cavern. By the time we reach the opening I’ve gotten my emotions
under control.
“So chicken pen here on the left with all my girls and of course
Admiral, who watches over them.” I point out the rooster in his
separate pen. “I usually collect eggs once a day. Over here is the
kitchen. We took most of this from a cafeteria. The steel tables and
three stoves are a godsend once we ramp up harvest.” I walk over to
the dehydrators and pull out a tray with brittle sheets of dried eggs,
pout at the waste and dump it into the compost box.
“What was that?” Grayson asks.
I tell him as I dump the rest of the trays. “Dehydrated eggs. I was
running them the night you guys came over my fence and got busy
after that and forgot them.”
“I’m sorry we made you ruin your eggs,” he says with a frown.
I laugh and wave that away. “Oh, don’t be. I have probably
something like a hundred pounds of this stuff in Mylar. Just because
there’s no one around to eat it doesn’t mean that the girls stop
producing - so I just kept drying and bagging it.” I dump the empty
trays in one of the sinks to be washed and wave them out of the
room and on to the next one, pushing open the door and flicking on
the lights. I don’t come in here very often because it makes me so
sad.
“This was Tommy and Ryan’s war room. They made all the plans
and tech from here.”
Except for one, all the rooms in the cavern are just drywall-
covered frames that don’t go all the way up to the roof of the rock
ceiling. The war room has two desks on either side with multiple
laptops and screens. There’s a worn leather couch in the middle
facing a big-screen TV and a scarred coffee table in between them,
littered with gaming controllers for Xbox and PlayStation. Stacks of
games and DVDs are piled on both sides of the TV.
“They loved this room. We have an excess of power because
they went overboard on the solar panels so they could run just about
everything they enjoyed. If you like gaming, feel free to use it
anytime you want. Grayson, I’m sure you will be spending plenty of
time in here to familiarize yourself with the system.”
I walk over to a cabinet beside Ryan’s desk and pull out four cell
phones and chargers, four sets of earbuds as well as a couple of
Tommy’s homemade manuals and hand the bunch to Grayson.
“Everything’s already loaded on them and the numbers are written
on stickers on the back of the phones. My number is already in the
contacts but you can go ahead and delete … the other contacts.” I
smile sadly at them and then ask, “Any questions so far?”
Grayson opens his mouth but I cut him off with a laugh. “Any
questions NOT about tech so far?” He laughs and shakes his head
so I move them out to the last door. “This is the only fully enclosed
room in here. It’s been soundproofed so feel free to crank up the
music if you want to.”
I push open the door, hit the lights, and wave them in. I expected
more of a reaction to the video game setup but I guess they were
saving it for this. They seem pretty excited by all the weight
machines and sets. I shake my head. I’m glad this stuff will get used
again because hauling it all in here was a total bitch. I’d rather be up
on the ladder anchoring the tarp to the rock before hauling gym
equipment ever again. Linc wanders over to the three dartboards
that are hanging on a cork wall and runs his hands over all the knife
gouges in them.
“Is this where you learned how to throw knives?” He asks me.
I nod and go over to the table on the opposite wall and pick up a
set. I turn around and wave him away and then launch them one by
one so they make a perfect diamond around the center board’s
bullseye. Not to show off but because knife throwing’s fun...ok,
maybe a little to show off. I laugh at Linc’s amazed look but it cuts
out when I see the flat-out lust in Devin’s eyes. I take a step back
from that heat as Grayson claps Devin on the back with a laugh
causing him to stumble.
“Still got a thing for knives, huh?” He asks his friend and I relax a
bit.
 “What about that move you did when you took my gun from me
so easily?” Linc asks, distracting me.
I nod and pick up a handgun from the table and check to make
sure it’s empty before tossing it to him. “Well, obviously it doesn’t
work from a distance so I’m going to move in. Point it at me.”
He hesitates but then checks it himself to make sure it’s empty
and there isn’t a round in the chamber before finally pointing it at me.
I walk up to him slowly and see he’s got trigger discipline, his finger
is laid to the side and not on the trigger. I hit him with a sex kitten
smile and say, “Hey” With a sultry tone of, “how you doin” in it and as
soon as his eye’s glaze over in lust and his lips start curving upwards
I snatch the gun from the left while striking the inside of his arm from
the right, spin it in my hand and point it back at him. “Bang. You’re
dead.”
He leans into it so his face gets closer to mine and says in a
husky tone, “And rock hard. So fucking hot, Kells.”
I swallow hard and blink as I remind myself that I’m normal and I
will not climb men like trees. I step back and reverse the gun,
handing it back to him. “Again. This time from the side like that
night.”
I ignore the sexy look on his face and move to stand beside him
as he points the gun straight ahead. “Ok, slower this time and step
by step. Right hand to the barrel moving forward. Left hand hooking
under and pulling back. Duck the arm swing step, step, pivot, pivot
reposition weapon and …” I come up behind him with the gun
pressed to his neck like that night. “Bang. Still dead.”
He tilts his head back towards me and says, “Still hard.” I try not
to choke on my drool as I step back and go to return the gun to the
table.
“How did you learn to do that?” Oliver asks.
“Hmm? Oh, it’s just muscle memory now. You just need an
obsessed drillmaster to constantly jump out at you at random times
over and over and over again until you get it right. Even if he wakes
you from a dead sleep. I thought Tara was going to kill him so many
times. She started punishing him every time he’d hit one of us by
doing things like tying his shoes together, switching salt for sugar.
She finally hid all the video games from him and Tommy had to
intervene. There were a lot of other moves he made us learn besides
that one.”
Oliver nods impressed. “Was he military?”
I purse my lips and then roll them in at how funny the thing I’m
about to say is but finally just shake my head. “Nope. He was an
obsessive action hero junkie.”
When they all look at me like I must be joking I laugh. “I know
how it sounds but I’m serious. I’m pretty sure he could act out every
move in every John Wick movie. He would watch the action scenes
in slow motion.” I shrug when I see the scoffing look on Dev’s face.
“Don’t judge. Hand to hand, guns, knives. I could take your ass to
the ground in seconds. Wanna try me?”
He tucks his tongue into his cheek while his gaze bores into my
eyes and nods slowly. “I’m leaning that way.”
It takes me a beat to realize that I don’t think he means fighting
and then I’m spinning away, practically running from the gym.
“Last room is this way.”
I wait for them at the fake rock wall and try to get my nerves in
check. Oliver, Linc, and now Dev have all made or said something
that alludes to being with me. Only Grayson has kept things in the
friend zone. I’m starting to wonder if they have a bet going or
something. I didn’t want to be alone but I also don’t want a bunch of
drama that’s going to lead to a tense living environment. I decide
then and there that I’m going to ignore all sexual overtures and
reinforce the friend zone barricades. When I realize that they’re all
standing in front of me waiting for me to come back to earth I give
them a tight smile.
“So this is kind of a big deal for me. I took a leap of faith when I
let you all in. And so far I think I made the right call but this is a lot, a
lot, a lot, of trust for me to share.” I chew on my lip as I scan their
faces but all I see is understanding and patience looking back at me
so I turn and push the hidden door so it springs open and I slide it to
the side. I reach in and grab two lanterns, turn them on and hand
them to Grayson and Linc. “Go ahead. I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.”
I wait until all four of them have entered the storage room that has
everything Tommy, Ryan, Tara, Lisa, and I stocked away and then
walk slowly to the kitchen. I pull out electric griddles and set them to
heat up as I mix dough batter to make tortillas for supper later. I’ll
turn some of them into baked chips once they’re made. If I’ve made
the wrong call about these guys, they can now wipe me out
completely. There’s just some things, important things that I can’t
grow or replace anymore, in that storage room. We all made a pact.
No matter what happened, whatever threatened us, we would never
reveal that storage room.
As I start to roll out the dough I turn my head and say, “But you
aren’t here anymore. None of you are. It’s just me.”
She’s standing with her back to the table I’m working on, leaning
against it, with her arms crossed and an angry expression on her
face. She doesn’t look at me when she says, “I guess we’ll see if you
made the right call then, won’t we.”
“I don’t have a choice, Tara. I can’t do this on my own anymore. I
have to trust them or I might as well finally give up and join you.” I’m
still looking at her but I catch movement in the reflection of the glass-
fronted cabinet behind her. I whip my head around but there’s no one
there. I go back to my rolling and shake my head. Either I am truly
being haunted by ghosts or one of the guys just caught me talking to
my imaginary best friend.
 OLIVER

lean against the doorway and watch her as she sways her hips to
I the music blasting in her ears and dishes up the supper she’s
made for us once again. She’s been working in here all day,
chopping, slicing, dicing, and cooking all the vegetables we picked
and hauled in to her. I tricked her into eating a sandwich earlier when
I told her it was cheese but I got a scowl when she took the first bite
and discovered the tomato, lettuce, and mayo on it. Still, she ate
most of it. Not nearly enough though for all the calories she’s burned
today. We all helped with canning her sauces and salsa after we had
finished picking but still, she hasn’t quit moving. I take in the soft
damp curls that have escaped the messy bun on her head and cling
to her skin that glows with a light coat of sweat. There was a lot of
steam in this room from all the pots and pans going.
She’s breathtaking to look at and I’m having a hard time giving
her the space I think she needs before I show her just how badly I
want her. Seeing Linc with his hands on her ass and his mouth on
hers just made it so much worse. I don’t want to scare her off but I
also want to make sure she understands that she doesn’t have to
choose. She can have us all if she’s willing to be open to it. I don’t
think any of us has ever felt such instant attraction and desire for a
woman before but it’s more than just physical. Kelsey pulls at each
one of us in a way that reaches a deeper level than just physical
attraction. I’m working very hard to keep my emotions in check at all
times. I spent so many years when I was younger not having any
control that I now keep a hard lock on them. I approach all things
analytically. Cold hard facts, weights and measures, data and
probabilities. Those are the tools I use to function and make
decisions. Emotions are messy and cause disruption and mistakes.
Kelsey and my reactions to her have just washed that all away. I
want her in my arms. I want her smile, her laugh, and I want her
heart.
When she finally notices me leaning against the doorframe, she
gives me that smile and I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot.
“Oliver! You have perfect timing! I just finished dishing everything
up. You can help me carry everything over.”
I move into the room and straight to her as she removes the
earbuds from her ears and slides them and her phone into a pocket
of her little cut-off shorts. Platters of food are filled up on the table
ready to be eaten but I’m hungry for something else. I move into her
space, causing her to move until her back hits the counter and I cage
her in with my arms as her eyes widen in surprise.
“You’ve had a busy day on top of another busy day yesterday.
You haven’t left here except to tend to Gavin.” I tell her as I hold her
in place with my arms trapping her. “You work too hard, Kelsey.”
Her eyes drop to my lips and her voice comes out a little
breathless at my nearness. “You guys helped out a lot so it wasn’t so
bad.”
My hand comes up and I brush my thumb over her bottom lip.
“You’re going to have to let us do more. You shouldn’t be on your
feet all day.”
Her head tilts back slightly at the contact so I drag my thumb
lightly down over her chin to her throat where my fingers spread out
and sweep over her collarbone.
Her eyes flutter half shut as she whispers, “All…the … stuffs …
to… do.”
I hum a response and press my lips to hers softly. I keep it light
and easy, waiting for her to respond and when I feel her start to kiss
me back, I slant my mouth over hers with more pressure and probe
gently with my tongue until she parts her lips, giving me access. My
tongue meets hers and she moans softly, brings her hands up to
slide along my chest, and closes her fists in my shirt. I press my
body closer to her and my hands drop down to capture her hips,
pulling her body even closer. The small breathy gasp she makes has
my cock twitching and straining for more contact. I need to taste
more of her, all of her - so I break the kiss and slide my mouth down
over her jaw and run a hot trail down her neck. Kissing, sucking, and
licking her soft smooth skin.
Her hips rock forward and press against me, causing me to smile
against her skin, and in one swift move I reach around her hips to
her ass and lift her up to sit on the edge of the counter so I fit
perfectly between her thighs. I rock my hips forward so my cock
presses against her core and my lips find hers again and this time I
devour her mouth. I keep one hand anchoring her hips against me
as I rub against her and the other finds its way under the loose hem
of her shirt and slides up the bare skin of her side, causing a tremor
to wrack her body. I want her naked. Naked and spread out so I can
feast on her with my hands, my mouth, my eyes.
“As hot as this is to watch, I think the food is getting cold.” Comes
from behind us and Kelsey freezes against me.
Motherfucker! I release her lips and press our foreheads together
for a moment but her small hands on my chest are now pushing me
away so I step back from in between her legs.
Confusion, shame, and then mild panic flashes across her
expression like a slide show and I reach for her again to comfort her
but she hops down from the counter and ducks under my arm, grabs
a platter of food, and spins to rush outside, keeping her head down
so she won’t have to meet Linc’s gaze and slides sideways past him
through the door.
Linc sends an amused smirk my way. “Sorry, not sorry. Consider
it payback for you interrupting me and her this morning.”
I pin him with a pointed look. “Consider that we’ve now both
kissed her today and she’s feeling guilty and confused.” I throw a
hand through my too-long hair in frustration. “Linc, she’s not like Mia.
It was Mia’s idea to have sex with all of us. She instigated it with
each one of us and reveled in the power she thought that gave her.
Kelsey’s already apologized to me for kissing you and now I’ll bet
she ends up apologizing to you for kissing me. We’re supposed to be
trying to ease her anxiety, not add to it.”
His face falls and he curses. “Fuck!”
I nod. “Yes, fuck. Grab a bowl and let’s go. If you get a chance, try
and tell her she did nothing wrong. Ease her mind that we don’t
expect her to choose between us but go lightly.”
He nods with a furrowed brow and grabs a bowl of chips and
salsa as I pick up the salad and bowl of shredded Mexican seasoned
chicken.
When we reach the patio table Grayson glares at us. “What did
you two do? Kelsey dropped a tray off, wouldn’t look at us at all, said
to eat without her because she was going to have a shower.
Practically dove into the camper. What did you do?”
Dev snorts and reaches for the chips and salsa. “Which one of
you put the moves on her? That’s what happened, right?”
I cross my arms over my chest and look at the camper with a
frown. “We both did. Linc this morning and me just now.” I tell them.
Dev laughs as he stuffs his mouth with a stack of chips dripping in
salsa. Grayson curses.
“What the hell, guys? You’re going to mess her head up so bad
she won’t want to have any of us around!”
“Yes and no,” I tell him. “Yes, she’s confused but she responded
to both of us so she’s attracted to us that way. Her confusion and
anxiety stem from the guilt of kissing us both and I bet she’s worried
that she will hurt our feelings or maybe even cause a rift between us.
We just have to ease her into the understanding that she doesn’t
have to worry about that or about choosing just one of us. Also, a lot
has happened to change her life in the last two days so she’s
overloaded. As much as I don’t want to, we’re going to have to slow
things down and let her catch her breath.”
Linc and I take our chairs and get to filling our plates with the food
Kelsey has made for us. I make sure to assemble a taco for her and
pile some chips beside it because they’re going fast as we all enjoy
the treat she’s created. When we’re done eating, I judge she’s had
enough time to shower and calm down so Linc and I go in to get her
but I send him to knock on her door.
“Kells? Honey? Come out and eat something. We saved you a
plate.” When he doesn’t get a response he leans his head against
the door and tries a different tack. “You’ve told us so much about
your story, we wanted to share ours with you. Will you come out and
join us, sweetheart?”
He must hear something through the door because he leans back
and says, “Great, we’ll wait for you outside.” And then steps back
down to me with a nod. We go back out to join the others and I see
Dev scowling at the grill.
“What’s your problem now?” I ask him.
He rolls his eyes and turns away from the grill. “I was thinking
about raiding Princess’s secret smoke stash but then she’d know I
was creeping on her last night.”
“Best not to anyway. Do you really want to go through
withdrawals again when they run out? Do I need to remind you of
your near-death at our hands the last time you quit? We barely
tolerate your cranky attitude now. Go ahead and see what happens if
it gets worse from withdrawals. There is a lot of room here to bury a
body.” I warn him with a smile full of teeth, making Linc and Grayson
laugh.
Kelsey steps out of the camper at that moment with an uncertain
little smile on her face. Her wet hair is twisted up into another bun on
top of her head and she’s changed her top to a band t-shirt. She’s
kept the cut-offs though and left her feet bare. What really captures
our attention is the five bottles of beer she’s holding by the necks
that are starting to frost up from the outside heat hitting them. She
holds the beers up like they’re a peace offering and moves to the
table to hand them out.
“I brought these over earlier and put them in the fridge. I thought
they’d go well with the tacos but I forgot, sorry.”
 Grayson takes the bottle she holds out to him but then snags her
fingers and kisses them, making her blush. “I think we need a law
that you aren’t allowed to apologize for anything. You’re always
saying sorry for giving us the best things, Kells.”
She pulls her hand away and takes her seat but I see her rub her
fingers together where he kissed them with a twitch of her lips. She
watches us drink our first cold beer in two years with a small
contented smile on her face while she sips at hers.
“I’m so glad someone’s here to drink those,” she tells us. “There’s
a few cases left and they’re getting close to expiring and going
funky.”
Dev sets down his half-empty bottle and cocks his head. “Well,
you don’t have to worry about that, Princess, between the four of us,
we’ll make short work of what’s left. Told you we’d pull our weight
around here.”
She laughs and rolls her eyes at him. She’s getting her balance
back with Dev needling her and I’m forced to concede his point
about her steadying up when he’s pushing attitude her way.
“You’re going to have to be more careful though.” He tells her,
causing her to arch an eyebrow in question. “If you keep this up,
feeding us, bringing us beer after being on your feet all day, I’ll have
to come up with a new nickname for you.”
She sips her beer and flashes him a smirk. “Like what? I kind of
like Princess, it fits. I’m a princess and you’re the beast.”
That causes him to chuckle. “I am. I’ll have to think about it but I’ll
find the right one eventually. In the meantime, I think payment should
be made for your efforts today.” She starts shaking her head but he
reaches down and pulls her bare feet into his lap. “What say you,
boys? Isn’t the customary payment for a woman working all day and
then taking care of her men a foot rub?”
Fucking Dev! I just got finished saying we need to slow down with
her.
 DEVIN

hose fucking eyes of hers are big, wide, and sexy as hell again as
T she tries to pull her feet away and off my lap but I hold on tight
and when I press my thumbs into her tender arches her head falls
back with closed eyes and a delicious moan slips out from between
her parted lips. My jaw clenches and I know that every cock around
this table just went rock hard, including my own. I work my fingers
and thumbs into her feet and torture myself by listening to every little
noise of pleasure she makes as I rub the ache from her tired feet. I
rip my eyes from her ecstasy-filled expression and turn them to the
others and try not to laugh at the smoldering looks on their faces.
Linc’s gripping his beer bottle so hard, I’m surprised it doesn’t
shatter. When he finally tears his eyes from her face and meets
mine, I give him a look that tells him to start talking or we’ll all end up
coming in our pants. He nods with a jerk of his head but has to clear
his throat twice before he can finally speak.
“I was a firefighter. Before, I mean.”
I give him a what the fuck look at the pure randomness of his
statement but her eyes pop open and she looks to him in surprise,
so whatever works. I ease off with the pressure on her feet and just
stroke them as she smiles at him.
“Oh, wow! I’ve always had such respect for first responders. I can
totally see you as one.” She frowns slightly. “Were you on shift when
everything kicked off?”
Linc pulls at the label of his beer, looking down as he remembers
that day. “I was. I … we, lost a lot of good men that day. Those of us
who made it back to the station stuck it out for two days. By then it
was pretty obvious we weren’t going to be able to do much and the
Chief called it. Sent us home to be with our families.” He looks
around the table and lands on Grayson. “I found Gray first.”
Grayson nods and picks it up. “I was stuck in an office tower at
work, along with a few others. It is crazy to think of how fast stuff
happened. We were fairly safe but we had already used up most of
the little bit of food that we had. I knew it was only a matter of time
before the power failed and we lost the running water. I was hyping
myself up to make a break for it when the elevator dings and out
steps Captain fucking America in full firefighter gear and a huge
bloody ax over his shoulder. He cleared the way for us and we went
back to our house to see if these two had made it.”
Kelsey looks expectantly at Oliver to continue the story but he just
nudges the plate he made up for her and waits. She gives him an
exasperated look but picks the taco up and takes a bite so he leans
back and carries on. Fucking guy is obsessed with feeding her.
“I was an engineer and on a job site when the first reports started
coming through people’s phones. I packed up and drove home and
then waited for the rest of them to get there. Linc and Gray came
home on day three and we found Devin on day four.”
Kelsey looks to each of us in turn. “You all lived together before?”
When Oliver nods, she asks, “What about your families?”
“This is our family. We all made it out together.” Oliver states
simply and I nod my approval.
She doesn’t need the sad, pathetic details of our childhoods or
the foster and group homes we bounced from. We made our own
family and that’s all the detail that matters. Her eyes turn to me and I
tense up.
“What did you do before all this?”
“Read a lot of books. Warped a lot of minds.” I tell her, not
wanting to ever go back to that day and the days that followed before
my brothers pulled me out. Her brow crinkles at my non-answer as
she nibbles on a chip but she lets it slide, instead asking for an even
worse answer.
 “Where were you when it started?”
“In hell.”
She lowers the chip from her mouth and I see the sadness and
pity form in her expression but before she can say anything we all
hear a series of thumps from the middle camper. Her head turns in
that direction, a look of surprise on her face and I see the hope start
to bloom that Gavin’s recovered enough to get up but I don’t believe
in fairy tales. She jerks her feet out from under my hands and jumps
up but only takes two steps towards the camper before I get my
arms around her waist and lift her up against me, spinning her away.
I meet Linc’s eyes over her shoulder. “Deal with that.”
He gives me a hard nod and strides towards the camper with a
knife firmly clutched in his hand as I move Kelsey in the opposite
direction. She’s struggling in my arms to be put down but I ignore her
and just keep moving.
“Devin, Dev! Put me down! Stop being an ass …” She chokes off
as Linc opens the door and we both hear the distinctive moan the
newly risen dead make.
She goes limp in my arms and I feel her start to shake so I set her
down long enough to turn her to face me and then pick her back up
and cradle her head against my chest so she won’t see what’s about
to happen over my shoulder. Kelsey clings to me and when I feel the
first hot tears through my shirt, I carry her over and into her camper
and up to her room. I turn us around and sit down on her bed, lifting
her legs so they can wrap around me and just hold her. She doesn’t
sob or carry on. She just holds me back and lets her tears flow
quietly.
I can’t stop my hand from coming up and rubbing circles against
her back or my arm that’s wrapped around her hips from tightening
to hold her even closer. Her head turns and lifts enough so that she’s
tucked in against my neck and I feel her hot breath when she sighs
brokenly.
“I’m so tired of people dying, Devin,” she whispers, and I feel the
movement of her lips against my skin. I turn my head so my lips rest
on her hair and whisper back.
“Me too, Princess, me too.”
We sit like that for a while, just two broken people trying to make
it through another day until Gray comes in and gives us the all-clear.
I feel her shudder as she takes a deep breath and then she pulls
away from me.
“I’ll go get the bleach and cleaning supplies. No one can use that
camper until we decontaminate it.” She tries to climb off of my lap
but I pull her hips close again.
“No, you don’t,” I tell her in a hard tone.
Grayson steps up behind her and rubs her back before nudging
her against me again.
“Just stay here, Kells. You don’t need to handle that. Let us do it.
You’ve done enough for today.” He tells her and then shoots me a
pointed look that says ‘manage that’, and leaves.
She sits back up, pushing away from my chest but her hands are
still on it when she scowls at me.
“You’re not the boss of me,” she says with a hint of pout in her
tone.
My lips curl up a bit and I can’t not push her a little. Especially if it
will take some of the sadness from her eyes.
“No, but I could be. In the best, most satisfying way you can
imagine.” My fingers spread out to cup her ass and I pull her center
up against the bulge in my pants as I dart in and nip at her bottom
lip. I feel her fingers claw slightly into my chest but then she’s rearing
back.
“What the actual fuck, Dev? What are you guys doing? Is there a
bet? Did you all make a bet to see who could get me into bed first?
Because, well … fuck!”
My grin grows wider. This is how I like Princess best. Flashing
eyes and spitting mad with not a crack to be seen.
 “No bet. That’s not something we would do to you. Or any
woman, for that matter.” I tell her. When she still glares at me, I run
my hands up her back and work on the knots I find under her tense
muscles. “Is it so hard for you to believe that all four of us are
interested in you that way?”
She arches a tiny bit as I find a sore spot and rub. “And just how
is that supposed to work? I make out with each one of you and pick
the one that does it for me the best? Yeah, that wouldn’t cause
drama AT ALL! I don’t do drama, Devin. It’s one of the apocalypse
rules we live by. Rule number four – ‘Drama results in distractions.
Distractions result in death.’”
My hands keep moving up her body until I find the clip anchoring
her bun and I squeeze it, releasing the heavy, damp weight of her
hair to spill down over her shoulders and a cloud of vanilla to hit my
senses.
I slide my fingers into that mass of lovely and massage her scalp
while I tell her, “So don’t pick. Or pick us all. We don’t mind sharing
and we don’t do drama either.”
She gasps at that and I grin again while tugging her hair to move
her head to the side so I can get at her neck. I need my mouth on
her to see if she tastes as good as she smells. My lips hit her skin
and my tongue flashes out to lick. Now she arches completely,
pressing her breasts against me and I can feel how fast her pulse is
racing under my lips as I make my way up to the sensitive spot
behind her ear. When she moans my name and rocks her hips
against me, searching for friction, my will to take it slow like O
suggested evaporates and I’m moving.
I lift us off the bed and spin around so her back hits the mattress
and I’m positioned perfectly between her soft thighs to give her the
friction she craves. It also lets me run my hand up her smooth soft
thighs until I hit the edge of her jean shorts. My mouth crashes down
on hers and there’s nothing soft or sweet about the battle we fight
with our tongues for dominance. She’s arching against me and
kissing me back as hard as I am. This right here is what she wants,
what I want, what we need to turn the corner, wash away the trauma
and start healing. Oliver and the others can go as slow as they want.
This, this is fucking mine!
We’re grinding against each other and she’s making these sexy
little mewling noises as we kiss. My hand slides up her side to
capture one of her perfect breasts. I find her peak through the thin
shirt material and roll it between my fingers. She arches her back
and moans my name but then the whole camper shakes as three
pairs of feet climb up into it and she goes still under me and starts
pushing against me.
I lift my mouth from hers and stare down into her panicked grey
eyes and growl, “This isn’t over,” before rolling off of her.
She’s up off the bed in a flash and out of the room.
From the bedroom, I can hear Linc say, “We sanitized the whole
camper, Kells.”
“Uh, th-thanks! I’ll see you guys later.”
And then the screen door closes with a thwack and she’s gone. I
lay there getting my breathing under control with the hardest cock of
my life and I know without a doubt, I’m completely fucked over her.
It’s hours later when Oliver goes to find her and drags her back.
Linc and Gray have gone to bed. I lay still on the pull-out couch as
he guides her up to her room and says goodnight, closing the door
behind her. When he comes back down, he passes the bunkroom
door that he’s sharing with Gray and settles in the recliner beside my
bed.
“Where was she?” I ask in a low voice so it won’t carry.
“In her kitchen working to can the last of the sauce.” He leans
forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “It’s a coping method.
Working nonstop like that. It’s one of the ways she deals with her
stress and anxiety but she’s burning down too close to the bone. If
we hadn’t shown up here, her body would have eventually shut down
on her … or …”
“Yeah, I’m familiar with the or, Oliver. We’re here now and we
won’t let either happen.” I tell him in a hard tone.
 He nods his agreement and stands. “I know you’ll be awake so if
she gets up again tonight, try and get her to go back to sleep … in
whatever way works.”
He leaves it at that. My insomnia is well known to our group from
even before the dead rose so yes, if she gets up, I’ll know. I lay there
for hours staring up at the ceiling, trying to keep the ghosts that
haunt me at bay but it’s so hard when there are so many small faces
begging me to help, to save them. When the camper sways with her
nightmare and I hear her cries, it’s almost a relief because it pulls me
out of mine. She comes out of it faster tonight than last night and I
hear her get up and creep down the stairs, carefully trying not to
wake any of us. I consider leaving her alone. Unlike Oliver, I
understand needing to be alone to fight off the demons but after a
few minutes, I curse under my breath and roll out of bed.
Her head jerks toward me as I step down from the camper and
she tries to hide the smoke between her fingers for a few seconds
but then scowls at me and takes a drag, blowing smoke defiantly up
into the night. I walk over and pick up her glass and throw back the
shot of whiskey and as I lean over to set it down, reach out and
snatch the lit cig from her fingers.
“Help yourself,” she mutters, still glaring at me, so I do. I take a
deep drag and close my eyes as I hold it and then blow it out.
“Fuck sakes, still as good as the last one I had,” I say wistfully
and then stub it out in the ashtray.
“Hey! I was smoking that and drinking that.” She snaps, pointing
at her now empty glass.
I walk around the coffee table and reach down and pick her up
causing her to gasp and then settle her on my lap as I sit us back
down.
“And does it help? You could say I have a master’s degree on
night terrors and insomnia and I never found either alcohol or
nicotine to actually help but they do make a nice crutch to lie to
yourself about.”
 She doesn’t answer, just turns her head away and looks out at
the dark gardens so I know she understands what I’m talking about.
“Why does Tara haunt you? I heard you talking to her earlier
today.”
She’s wearing one of her sexy sleep outfits with a robe overtop so
I tuck the robe underneath her legs and slide us deeper onto the
couch, pulling her head down to rest on my chest. She doesn’t fight
me but she does stay stiff.
“It’s ok. We don’t have to exchange our ghosts’ details. But take it
from the master, there’s only one way to chase away the monsters in
the middle of the night. A strong pair of arms holding you tight will
keep them at bay. Close your eyes, Princess. Go to sleep. I got you.”
She stays stiff in my arms for longer than I thought she would but
eventually her body starts to relax and soon after that her breathing
levels out. Then it’s only moments before she is limp and soft against
me. I sit with her for another hour to make sure she’s deep in sleep
before I lift her and carry her inside and back to bed. I slide in behind
her and gather her close. Unconsciously, she turns her body to face
mine, slides her knee between my legs, and throws her arm around
my waist burying her face against my chest and I find my own
muscles unclenching. For the first time in a long time, I slide into
sleep with arms around me chasing away my ghosts.
 KELSEY

hen I wake up my head is groggy. The kind of groggy that

W comes with oversleeping. I’m in my bed and the last thing I
remember is being outside on Devin’s lap so he must have
brought me inside at some point. I bury my face in the blankets and
get a faint hint of his soap so he must have stayed with me. I usually
clock around four hours of sleep a night, maybe five if I’ve had a
hard workday. The fact that my bladder is ready to burst and how
groggy I am is telling me I’ve been out for eight or nine hours. I
stumble out of bed and into the hall, yawning, my eyes squeezed
mostly shut, and walk straight into a hard wall.
My eyes pop open and my hand comes up to rub at my sore nose
when I see that the wall is made of muscle. I stumble back, hit the
outside wall, and just stare at abs. Abs, so many, many abs. I try and
count them but math is hard when … abs. My eyes move down the
abs and look, there’s a V and it goes down into a VERY precariously
tucked towel and the other side goes back up to … abs.
Tara shows up and she looks at me and then over to the abs and
her eyes bug out like a cartoon character. She drops to her knees
and frames those abs and says, “Abs, Kells, abs. We wants the
preciouses,” and then proceeds to pretend to lick the abs.
When the hip under the abs move and the towel slips an inch, I
choke on the saliva in my mouth because human-ing is apparently
beyond me at this point but still … abs.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to take you back
into your room and show you what’s under this towel,” an amused
voice says.
 It’s enough to break my abs-notized stare and look up into
Grayson’s face. He steps closer to me and I press as flat against the
wall as I can as he leans forward and places a kiss on my forehead.
“Good morning, Kells.”
He steps sideways and leaves me staring in bemusement at the
empty bathroom door. When my bladder pings painfully I shake off
my dazed state and go do my business.
When I’m done, I dart back into the safety of my room. Four, four,
four, four men. How would that even work? Forget work, there would
never be time for work with four men. Just sex, sex, nap, sex, nap,
and sex again. Nothing would ever get done with four men. Not
unless it was more than one at a time. Like if it was two at once or
three. Three could work but four, four on me would be … My long
unused, dusty lady bits wake up and clench as images of that
scenario float through my mind. My hand slides into my robe and
heads south as I picture Linc behind me thrusting, Devin on his
knees in front of me with his face between my thighs. My hands
wrapped around Oliver’s and Grayson’s …
“Hey Kells, you up? Breakfast is ready!” Linc calls up the stairs
and I snatch my hand out of my shorts with a gasp. Fuck, these men
are killing me!
I push away from the door and go to my window to check the
outside temperature and see sheets of rain falling. It makes me smile
in glee. There hasn’t been enough rain this season so my gardens
are going to get a good long drink today and hopefully my rain
barrels will fill back up. I hum happily to myself as I pull on a pair of
soft leggings, thick cozy socks, and an oversized hoody. I stuff my
phone in the pocket, find a scrunchie and leave the room, bundling
my hair up as I go.
“Morning!” I chirp as I accept the coffee mug Oliver holds out to
me with a smile of thanks and slide into a chair at the table.
They’ve pulled it out and extended it so all five of us can sit
together. Linc sets a plate with eggs and toast in front of me and I go
to work smearing peanut butter on my toast. I plow through my eggs
while looking out at the rain pouring off the overhead tarp dreamily.
When I’m done eating, I pick up my coffee and lean back to enjoy it,
only to find all of them looking at me, again. Jeez, these guys need
to stop doing that.
“What?” I ask them as I brush at my face thinking I must have
food on it.
“Your plate is empty,” Oliver states with a small smile.
I look down at it and then roll my eyes. “I eat! I just usually can’t
be bothered cooking for one or I’m too busy but I do eat.”
I catch a smug look on Dev’s face as he goes back to eating his
meal.
“You know, some bacon would have been perfect with this,” I tell
them and yup, there it is, Dev’s head pops back up with an annoyed,
skeptical look.
“That’s not funny. Don’t joke about bacon. Never … joke about
bacon,” he snarls.
I just grin cheekily at him and sip my coffee as he stares me
down. When I don’t cave, he drops his fork and leans back, crossing
his arms over his chest.
“Alright, Princess, spill it. Tell us about the magical bacon factory
you stumbled upon with perfectly preserved cases of bacon that you
brought back to your kingdom to hoard from the rest of the world’s
poor, bacon starved survivors.”
My eyes narrow playfully at him as I reply. “First off - it’s an
empire, not a kingdom. Second, it’s wild boar bacon, you jerk.”
“You probably didn’t see it because you came from the other way
but after all the projects were completed here we used the extra
fencing we had leftover to block off some wooded acres on the west
side of us. We cut low openings in a few places so animals could go
in but it would be harder for the dead to stumble into. It’s kind of like
a sanctuary for them. We put a bunch of rain barrels and buckets
scattered around to catch water for them to drink,” I sigh. “I haven’t
checked on it in a long time but last time I was in there, I saw some
deer. Anyway, wild pigs can be assholes and they were taking over
the place so Ryan and Tara would knock back the population in there
every now and then. So … bacon and other cuts. It’s all in the
freezers in the cavern.”
Linc rubs his chin in thought. “Man, that’s smart. With the wildlife
population being decimated by the dead, that will give them a small
refuge to build some numbers back up. Your friends were amazing,
Kelsey.”
I smile. “Yeah, they’re pretty special. Were – they were special, I
mean.” I finish with my smile dimming slightly.
Oliver takes my free hand and threads his fingers through mine.
“What do you have on your list for today? Work-wise?”
I give his fingers a squeeze. “Not much, it’s a rain day! I still have
to collect the eggs and feed my girls and I want to grab a few things
from storage but other than that there’s not much to do. I finished the
canning last night.”
“We will go with you to help carry whatever you need back,”
Grayson says. So I hit him with a demure look and flutter my lashes.
“All these big strong men to fetch and carry for me is starting to
make me feel like the princess Dev keeps calling me.” I side-eye
Dev. “He’s still a beast but I suppose no empire is perfect.”
He growls at me and pretends to bite, snapping his teeth in my
direction. It’s such a playful thing for him to do and I haven’t seen
this side of him before so I burst out laughing. I glance around the
table and see grins staring back at me, even from Oliver. This is
nice. This is all I ever wanted. I beam down into my coffee cup as I
finish the last of it and then push back and stand reaching for plates.
I see Linc’s look and shake my head.
“Nope, you guys cooked so this time I get to do dishes. Then we
can go over to the cavern. I was thinking today would be a good day
for you guys to look over the plan manuals if you want. The rain
makes it an inside day so we could just hang out, read and maybe
watch a movie or something. If you want to check out the DVDs
they’re under the TV and there’s more in the other camper and
motorhome.”
I fill the sink with hot water and start washing up. Oliver comes
over and grabs a dish towel to dry. Mentioning the other camper has
me thinking about Gavin.
“What did you guys do with …?”
It’s like he can read my mind sometimes because he cuts me off.
“We buried him outside the outer fence.”
“Oh, the alarm didn’t go off.”
“Grayson has already figured out the security app on the phones.
He shut it off so we could go through without worrying you.”
I step closer to him and lean my head on his shoulder for a
moment. “Thank you for taking care of him. I wish I could have done
more.”
Oliver lifts my chin and slides his lips over mine in the softest kiss.
“You did all you could. His death is not on your hands, Kelsey.” He
straightens back up and picks up the next plate to dry so I nod and
go back to washing.
After tending to the hens and gathering all I need, we dash back
from the cavern with our hands full getting drenched from the heavy
downpour. I grab a dish towel and dry off the slow cooker, cans of
beans, and all the other ingredients we brought back so I can make
chili for supper.
When I turn around there’s so much man candy on display that I
feel multiple cavities forming on my teeth. All four of them have
stripped their wet t-shirts off and I have to hang onto the counter’s
edge as my knees go weak from SO MUCH MAN CHEST. My eyes
bounce from pecks to abs to tattoos so fast that I feel like I’m in a
pinball machine. I can’t stop looking.
Of course, Tara shows up and somehow, she’s in a doctor’s coat
with glasses and holding a clipboard. She bends over and examines
each chest and ab pack like she is doing some kind of medical
assessment, scribbles on her clipboard and turns to me with a
serious nod.
“Ready to launch, Captain!”
I bite back a choked laugh and just keep looking as heat starts to
bloom between my legs.
“Kells?”
Not an ounce of fat on any of them. Just lean, defined muscle.
“Kelsey?”
There should seriously be a law. Too much of all that can put a
girl in a sex-starved coma.
“Earth to Kelsey!”
The sound finally breaks through and I lift my eyes as my inner
monolog continues. Nope, back down to chest, fuck! Stop! Ok, you
can do it. Lift your eyes up, up Kelsey! Look at his face. Fuck! That’s
a beautiful face. Linc’s knowing smile and steamy green eyes are
staring back at me.
“Huh?” I say eloquently.
He steps toward me and points to what I’m holding. “Need me to
open that?”
I’m a wordsmith today so I hold it up and say, “Jar.”
He’s now grinning so hard I think his face might break as he
plucks it from my hand and puts an extra flex into his bicep to open a
simple jar of stewed, chili-spiced tomatoes and then holds it back out
to me. I swallow, hard, and keep up the witty banter I’ve got going
on.
“Muscle you very much,” I say as I take it from his hand. When I
see Tara howling with laughter beside him I shake my head quickly.
“No, thank … thank you very much. I’m, uh, er, I’m just gonna … ” I
tell him and turn away, walk into the opposite counter, bounce off,
turn again and manage to make my feet go in the right direction. As I
step into my bedroom I realize I’m still holding the jar of tomatoes
and my brain starts processing again.
 “For fuck’s sake, Kelsey!” I say to my reflection in the closet
mirrors across from me and when laughter roars from the living room
I kick my door closed to silence it. Fuck!
 GRAYSON

tug her down to the couch between me and Linc as the movie gets
I started. She pulls the scrunchie from her hair and rubs at her scalp
to ease the pull of it. She’s so fucking beautiful and sweet and all
that sexy hair down and loose makes me want to slide my fingers
into it, anchor her head and just destroy her with my mouth on hers.
I’ve been walking around all day with half a woody ever since she
caught me as I was coming out of the shower and set me on fire with
the lust I could see, plain as day in her eyes. I’m the only one left
who hasn’t had their hands or mouth on some part of her and I plan
to change that, right fucking quick. Oliver is still at the table pouring
over Tommy and Ryan’s plans and Dev is kicked back in the recliner
beside me. It’s been a really nice, relaxing day so far. We went so
long, running and fighting that I almost forgot what it felt like to just
have a day off. Every time we’d find a place to settle and build up our
supplies or try and grow some food something would go wrong.
Either the dead would get too thick or other survivors would move in
and fuck it all up. This place is a miracle for us but the best part will
always be Kelsey. I can’t find a single flaw in her and I want her to be
mine so bad it’s like an ache in my bones.
We’ve done this once before. All of us with the same woman but
it was nothing like what’s happening with Kelsey. Mia came into our
lives about a year after everything went to shit.
We found her trapped on top of a transport trailer roof,
surrounded by the dead. It felt good to save someone after losing so
many before. She showed her gratitude by offering her body to us.
We aren’t assholes so we made it clear that wasn’t required but she
wore us down after a few weeks of throwing herself at each one of
us. We probably should have known better. Mia always had a hard,
brittle edge to her but I won’t lie, it was nice to have a little bit of
comfort and release in this shitty world. She made it so easy to lose
ourselves in what she offered and she made it clear that she loved it
best when we all came together to please and worship her body.
Even though the sex was great none of us developed deep feelings
for her. She always kept a wall up between us that stopped anything
else from forming.
I think she got bored. It’s the only reasoning that I can think of
that makes sense for what she did to us in the end. She started
saying shit and making up lies behind our backs, trying to stir up
drama. When she finally realized that we wouldn’t fight over her and
that we were done with her shit, she stole most of the food we had
left and took off in the middle of the night, leaving the gate and doors
wide open for the dead to come in. We almost lost Oliver that night.
After that, we promised never to let a woman jeopardize our lives or
our friendship again.
Kelsey is nothing like Mia and how we all feel for her is not the
same either. She’s so sweet and kind. She opened her home to us
and gave us free rein to all that she has. There are no hard edges to
her but there are cracks. Cracks we all want to fill with tending and
care to make her whole again. And also, she’s fucking hot. Even
under all her cracks from being alone for so long and losing her
friends, she’s got this pillar of strength running deep inside. The way
she handles weapons and her moves are pretty hard-core for
learning them from action movies. Add that to the sheer amount of
work she puts in every day and she’s fucking exceptional. I’m
desperate to show her just how much I want her.
The camper is warm and filled with the smell of chili as it simmers
away in her slow cooker. The rain hitting the tarp above the camper
makes for a soothing low drum that can barely be heard over the
sounds of the movie we’re watching. It’s not long before I see
Kelsey’s head start to nod and droop as sleep tugs at her. When her
head drops for the third time, I can’t stop myself from scooping her
up, sliding a leg behind her, and settling her against my chest as I
lean back. She blinks sleepily at me a few times so I just brush her
hair back from her face and gently pull her down until her cheek is
resting against my chest again. She snuggles in between my legs,
rubbing all the right places and I close my eyes and just wallow in
how damn good it feels to have her in my arms like this.
Linc reaches down and lifts her legs so her feet are in his lap and
she’s spread out along the couch over both of us. He sighs in
contentment and I think, “Me too, brother”. We watch the movie but I
notice Dev, Linc and I keep looking at the sleeping woman in my
arms more than the screen. When Oliver gets up from the table his
eyes go straight to her and I see a rare wash of pleasure cross his
usually expressionless face.
Kelsey moves in her sleep and her hand drops down to my thigh.
All thoughts of watching the movie disappear at how close her little
fingers are to my now hardening cock. Linc starts running his hand
up and down her leg and she makes a little pleased-sounding noise
as her hand tightens on my thigh and then begins to rub it a little.
When Linc sweeps his hand up her leg further and moves around to
the inside of her thigh she shifts slightly to open her legs a tiny bit
wider. No one is watching the fucking movie now. Linc pushes his
luck and moves his hand even higher and starts tracing little circles
on her skin through the thin fabric of her leggings. She stretches
slightly with a small moan, causing her hand to slide up my leg and
her thumb rests alongside my aching cock.
I feel the exact moment she wakes up as she stiffens against me
and her fingers lift and spread, frozen in place an inch from my leg. I
don’t move a muscle except for my eyes and I see hers slowly open.
They widen when she looks at her fingers and then she meets Dev’s
eyes beside us. He smirks a little and then gives her a look of
challenge like he’s daring her. They stare at each other for a few
beats and then she slowly lowers her hand back onto my leg and
leaves it there for a moment before using it to lever herself up and off
the couch.
“Cornbread!” She gasps out. “I was going to make cornbread to
go with the chili.”
 Kelsey almost dives into the kitchen in her haste to get away from
us and Oliver nods at her.
“Sounds good,” he says in his calm, cool way like the fucker isn’t
sporting serious wood just like the rest of us. Almost as one, Dev,
Linc, and I turn our heads to watch the end of a movie none of us
have been following as Kelsey bangs away in the kitchen.
 KELSEY

’m in a mood. Kinda pissy, kinda pouty. It’s been four days since it
I rained and not one of those fuckers has tried to kiss me or instigate
something more. Oh, there’s been plenty of little casual touches
and hot looks but since Dev told me I didn’t have to pick just one of
them, that they don’t mind sharing … nothing. After the day it rained
a heat wave moved in and ever since they’ve been spending the
days in nothing but shorts. Every time I turn around there’s a man’s
chest or rippling abs in my face. It’s not fucking fair … not at all! So
today I decided to return the favor and I came out of my room in a
pair of booty shorts and the tiniest bandeau. I’m barely covered for
fuck’s sake and … nothing. If that’s not bad enough, now at night
when I wake from one of my nightmares I don’t even have the
chance to go outside. One of them slides into my bed and holds me
until I fall asleep. I don’t know if they rock paper scissors who gets to
climb in with me but it’s been a different one every night. They don’t
touch me or kiss me, they just wrap me up and hold on to me and
when I wake up in the morning I’m alone with the sheets smelling
like them and a deep ache of need between my legs. Grrrr!
The heavy rain was fantastic for my crops but it also gave life to a
lot of new weeds. Yesterday, we were all out pulling weeds and I got
a little dizzy towards the end of the day from the heat and not
drinking enough water so they decided to bench me for today. Where
do they get off telling me what I can and can’t do? I was running this
empire just fine on my own long before they showed up. They can’t
tell me what to do! I stomp over to the next pot of flowers on the
edge of the patio and hit them with a blast of water from the gun on
the hose. I can make my own damn decisions on when and where I
work. Screw them! I don’t live by their …
“I think you’re drowning those flowers, Kells.”
The water gun clicks off and I turn slowly on one foot to glare
daggers at Linc. That’s just fucking great. Here he is with his
gleaming, sun-kissed chest, abs, and muscle-filled arms looking like
a motherfucking god - to tell me how to water my own damn flowers!
Without even thinking about it, I squeeze the trigger and blast him
with a spray of water, right in the middle of his broad, lickable chest.
When I click it off again his eyes are wide with surprise and he looks
at me like he can’t believe I just did that. I purse my lips and narrow
my eyes at him.
“So sorry, you looked a little hot there,” I tell him with a bucket-
load of sarcasm.
He drops his chin and tilts his head to the side so I can see him
clench his jaw and then he shakes his whole body, sending droplets
of water everywhere. When he lifts his head, the look in his eyes has
me stepping back and biting my lip. He tosses both hands through
his hair to slick it back and then he’s stalking toward me.
“I tried, Kells. I really did. I backed off, we all backed off to give
you space so you could make up your mind. So, we wouldn’t rush
you. But here you are wearing next to nothing, with all that skin and
all that hair and I just can’t. I’m only human. Every man has his
breaking point and you just pushed me over the edge of mine. I’m
going to take you inside, strip you bare, spread you out on the bed,
and taste every sweet inch of you until you moan my name and beg
me to make you come. What do you say to that?”
My mouth is hanging open and my eyes are pinned wide as I
drop the hose and whisper, “Thank you, Jesus.”
He lunges at me and I’m up and tossed over his shoulder causing
me to squeal out a laugh but it switches to a moan when he spanks
my ass and it goes straight to my core, sending wet heat to my
pussy.
 “That’s for torturing us by wearing that tiny, sinful little outfit.” He
tells me while rubbing the sting away. I just moan again when his big
fingers rub a little too close to the pulsing need between my legs. His
steps falter for half a beat and then he’s double-timing it to our
camper and pounding up the stairs, kicking my bedroom door open
and laying me gently across the bed. He stands there flaying me with
his hot eyes and then his hands are sliding up my bare thighs with
his thumbs brushing over my mound until he hooks the band of my
shorts and pulls them off of me. He leans back again and stares
down at me, his tongue darts out to swipe over his lip as his eyes
focus on my bare mound, sending a throb of need straight to my clit.
Thank you, maintenance spa day! Linc lets out a harsh breath and
then those big hands are sweeping up my body again until he
reaches the bandeau wrapped around my breasts, hooks his thumbs
under it, and slides it right up and over my head, flinging it aside.
Every inch of me is straining, crying out to be touched as he stands
there, looking over my body like he is trying to memorize every
curve. He slowly shakes his head as his eyes meet mine.
“You fucking slay me, Kelsey.”
Finally, his mouth comes down on my skin. He lifts and bends my
knee and runs hot wet kisses and licks up the inside of my thigh until
he reaches my center. A hot wet kiss burns against my lower lips
and then he’s moving higher but only until I cry out in need and then
he stills and goes back down.
“Fuck, I can’t wait. I need to taste you.”
He breathes out against my skin and then his hot tongue is
parting me with a long, deep stroke - sending my back arching off
the bed as my fingers thread into his hair and clutch. He tastes every
soft, sensitive fold of me with long sweeping licks and I’m rocking
against his mouth. Searching for more, searching for everything.
When his tongue probes my opening, I thrust my hips up -
wanting him to fill me so badly that I cry out for more as his tongue
slides in and out of me. He pulls his mouth back and one thick finger
takes the place of his tongue, stretching my pussy as it slides into
me. My slick cunt is still begging for more and as if he can read my
mind he adds another finger, stretching me further and thrusting as
his lips close over my clit and he sucks. It’s been so long, so fucking
long since I’ve been touched this way and the sounds coming out of
me could be from a wild animal as he curls his fingers and scrapes
against the tender walls of my channel - hitting that perfect spot with
every thrust of his fingers. The tip of his tongue draws circles around
my swollen clit and then hits it with a hard flick, sending me halfway
off of the bed as stars explode and wave after wave of pleasure
rocks through me, my walls clenching around his fingers. He licks
me through the waves and when I fall back to the bed and my hands
fall from his hair, he pulls his fingers out of me slowly.
I can barely breathe as the aftershocks rock through me and my
pussy clenches on emptiness. I need more, so much more. My
hands find his shoulders and slide over them feeling every hard
ridge.
“Linc, please. I need to touch you.” I tell him in a breathy voice
filled with want.
He lifts off of me but only for the briefest moment to slide his
shorts off over his hips and then his body is sliding up mine and my
hands are running over all those delicious bulges and ridges that I’ve
been staring at for days. His mouth hits mine and our tongues mate
as my fingers run over the ripples in his broad back and slide to his
hips. I can feel his hardness pressed against my leg but I want to
feel him in my hand so I nudge him over onto his side. My fingers
find him, wrap around his thick width and slide that hot, velvety-
smooth skin down his shaft - making him groan. God, the weight of
it, the length of it feels perfect under my fingers but then he’s
capturing my wrist and pulling me away from him so he can position
himself between my legs and I’m gasping, pleading, “Yes!”
His hot, intense eyes never leave mine as he slowly pushes into
my wet heat inch by inch and my eyelids flutter half-closed at the
thrilling stretch of my walls until I’m gripping him completely and he
stills.
“Fuck, Kells. You’re so goddamn tight.” He growls out as he holds
his body still above me.
 The ache of him filling me, stretching me, feels so damn good but
I want so much more. My body moves on its own and my hips roll
up, causing him to groan. My nails dig into his back and I arch up
again, begging him with my body to move, move, move and a small
whine of need slips out of my parted lips. His will to go slow breaks
at the sound and he pulls back, almost all the way out, and then
thrusts deep. My legs wrap around him and I lift my hips to match
every thrust.
“Linc … oh God … yes … don’t stop!” Tumbles from my lips as I
gasp out the pleasure he’s filling my whole body with. It’s been so
long, so fucking long. His large, strong fingers dig deeper into my
hips and lift me to a different angle as his pace increases and his
throbbing shaft hits that magic spot inside of me with every stroke.
The thrill of the first flutters fill my core as the orgasm builds and I
feel myself tightening around him, causing the sexiest growls to fall
from his lips that only speeds up my pleasure. The whole camper
sways and rocks as I thrust up my hips to meet his every stroke and
when he lifts me higher and drops his hot mouth to capture one of
my aching nipples in a hard suck and then flick of his tongue, my
whole world detonates and my walls clamp down on his cock,
squeezing and milking him through one of the most intense orgasms
of my life. Linc’s response matches mine as he roars his pleasure
and I feel his hot seed fill me deep inside.
He holds me crushed to his chest as we come down and work on
getting our breathing under control. When he finally lays me back
down on the mattress his hand comes up and brushes back the hair
from my face. I’m still stunned and overwhelmed by what just
happened but the emotions swirling through me match what I see in
his eyes.
“Linc … ” I breathe out not even knowing how to explain what I’m
feeling but he just gives the tiniest shake of his head and slides his
thumb over my lips.
“You’re so beautiful. So … everything, Kells. I never dreamed …
even before, I never thought I would find someone like you. You’re
everything I could ever hope to find in a woman.”
 He stares at me intently before capturing my lips in a slow, deep
kiss filled with so much meaning that my heart races even as it
aches for the love his kiss promises. When he slides his lips away
from mine and looks down at me again I have to blink back
unexpected tears that prick at my eyes.
“I know this is fast, all of it, all of us - but in one short week, hell,
in one day, you captured me, us. Your strength, kindness, your
beauty, your adorable quirkiness. God, you’re the total package,
Kelsey. I’m so, so very happy we climbed your fence and you let us
into your life.”
I just fucking melt. I’m a puddle of feels. All the feels that I have to
sort and slot into place to make this crazy fit into my own. I thread
my fingers back into his hair and just stare into those deep green
eyes that are promising me the world as I try and find the right words
but before I can come up with them I feel his cock begin to harden
inside me again, sending a tremor through my greedy pussy as it
purrs, “More, please.” My channel flexes around him and a sexy,
smug smile spreads as his eyes heat up. Without warning, he rolls
us so his back is against the mattress and I’m straddling him. My
body takes over as I sit up and roll my hips as my hands map his
strong, ridged chest and abdomen. My head tips back as I start
riding him in earnest but voices come through the thin bedroom door
and I freeze even as he lifts his hips to thrust deeper.
“No, baby. Don’t stop.” His rough, plea-filled voice rasps out. “Let
them hear your pleasure. Let them dream of making you come like
this.” He begs me as his fingers find my slick, tight clit and begins to
tease, sending hot sparks through me. I can feel the hot flush rising
in my chest and face even as my hips rock and roll against his
hardness as my next orgasm builds. Everything fades away as I ride
him, taking him as deep as I can, chasing the next wave. My head
falls back and a loud moan of pleasure fills the air. Somewhere in the
back of my desire-soaked mind, I know the others can hear me. One
part of me is embarrassed but the awakened sex siren in me revels
in it. They told me I could have them all, that I didn’t have to choose.
Knowing that they’re all listening to me as the wave crashes over
and I scream my satisfaction just amplifies it and sends my orgasm
higher than the last two.
I crash down onto his chest, all strength drained from my limbs.
His lips latch back onto mine and his tongue soothes me even as his
hips begin to piston up against me, fucking me hard and fast. I’m
surrounded by a glow of pleasure as his hard, fast thrusts build on
the orgasm I just had, sending constant aftershocks through me. My
pussy squeezes his cock again and again until his movements
become frantic and with a bellow, he slams one final time into my
body, filling me with his heat once again.
 KELSEY

wake with a smile on my face and stretch, feeling a delicious

I soreness in my body and in between my legs. I roll my head on the
pillow and see that I’m alone but that’s ok, I just want to lay here for
a few minutes and savor how I’m feeling. Three … three orgasms
with the last one going on and on so four? Five? I laugh out loud and
slam a pillow over my face to muffle the gleeful squeal I’m letting
loose. Oh My God! I can’t believe that just happened. I have never
and I mean NEVER - had more than one with a guy before. Linc just
destroyed me in the best possible way. Seriously, holy fuck!
I just lay there with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face until I
remember that the others came into the camper during the last one
and I was … loud, like scream to the heavens loud. I groan even as I
grin because … three motherfucking times I came.
I don’t even care how incredibly awkward it’s going to be when I
leave this room and have to face Devin, Oliver, and Grayson. I’m
sure my crazy will flood back into my brain, but right now? I thrust a
hand up in front of my face and flick each finger into the air like I’m
counting into a song. One … two … three! And the crowd goes wild.
I roll over and bury my face into the comforter and take a deep
breath that fills my senses with Linc. Holy hell, that body of his, that
cock? Mmmmmm … I already want it again. I want my mouth on
him. I want to taste him, feel the heat of him and hear his sexy growl
when I slide my lips over his throbbing cock and take him into my
mouth. A flare of heat flashes in my pussy and I laugh again into the
blanket at the sex addict he’s turned me into.
 I lay there for a few more minutes and realize that the camper is
quiet and still. No one is inside right now. I roll myself off the bed and
sway a little on my wobbly legs, snatch my robe, and dash into the
bathroom. Never once does the grin leave my face the whole time
I’m in the shower. As I wash and rinse I work out how I’m going to
play this with the others. I’ll be cool, right? This doesn’t need to be a
whole thing. People have sex, it’s natural. I don’t need to be all crazy
Kelsey and act like a fool about it, right? Right! I got this, no big deal,
just another day … three fucking orgasm day … but same, same. I’m
going to own it. I’m a badass woman that gets shit done so yeah, all
good.
By the time I’ve dressed, this time in a pair of cut-offs and t-shirt
and thrown my wet hair into a ponytail, I’ve convinced myself that I
am woman and they already heard me roar so deal with it, boys. I
square my shoulders, take a deep breath, here I go! With a bland,
pleasant little smile on my face, I throw open my door and march
down the steps. I glance out the window and see all of them hanging
out on the patio couches with Dev standing behind Oliver with … and
then I’m throwing the door open and screaming like a lunatic.
“Don’t you fucking dare, Dev!”
He freezes in place as all eyes turn my way.
“Drop those shears and step away from the hair or I swear to god,
I will shave half your head in your sleep!” I growl at him.
He blinks a few times at me and then looks down at the huge
handful of Oliver’s hair that he’s pulled straight up and was getting
ready to cut straight across. Slowly, like he is holding a loaded
weapon and the SWAT team has him covered, he lets go of the hair
and steps back. I keep glaring at him until he holds the large pair of
gardening sheers away from his body and lowers them to the coffee
table. When he steps back and holds his hands up as if to show he
is no threat, I narrow my eyes at him and then nod and focus on
Oliver.
“I will cut your hair … properly … if you want a trim,” I tell him
sternly.
 He nods slowly and cautiously like he doesn’t want to make any
sudden moves so I nod and then smile.
“I can trim all your hair if you want,” including the others in my
offer.
I get three nods so I duck back into the camper to grab a comb, a
spray bottle of water, and a proper pair of scissors from the
bathroom. I only make it to the second step when I hear Linc sigh
through the door I left open.
“I’m so in love with that woman.”
Of course, that causes the full-on crazy press to come roaring
back into my head and I trip on the last step and crash into the wall.
Did he just … he was joking, right? Like, I would profess my love for
cheese but I wouldn’t marry cheese kind of love. My head tips to the
side as I consider how much I love cheese so … ok, bad example.
He obviously doesn’t mean he loves me, loves me. He’s just under
the post-sex glow and all. Right? Right, normal, Kelsey. Be normal!
I push up to my feet and grab what I need for my own personal
pop-up barbershop and take it all outside. They’re all still in the same
places except for Devin, who’s sprawled out on one of the couches
with his trademark smirk as he watches me drape Oliver in a towel
and spray down his hair. As I run my fingers through it a small smile
lifts my lips. It’s so thick and dark and the perfect length to clench in
my fist as he … A deep shudder wracks my body as images float
through my mind and I feel his big hot fingers slide up the back of my
leg as I stand there in between his.
“Next! I’m next.” Grayson calls out, breaking me from my erotic
fantasies and causing me to swallow hard and step back and then
around to his back. I can feel the hot blush staining my cheeks as I
keep my eyes down and get to work.
I trim Oliver, Grayson, and finally Linc’s hair. Devin is warding me
off with a crossed set of fingers like I’m some demon hairdresser
from hell … he’s not that wrong I suppose. When I whisk the towel
from around Linc’s shoulders, done with his cut, he slides both of his
hands up the back of my legs until he’s cupping my ass and pulls me
against him, planting a kiss in between my breasts. He tilts his head
back and the hot desire I see in them has me wanting to saddle up
on his lap right there and then even though the others are watching.
My mouth gets closer and closer to his when a booming crack of
thunder splits the air and I flinch back.
We all look up and see the dark, angry cloudbank of a storm
headed our way and I sigh with relief. The storm will break the
heatwave and cool things off for a while. Everyone helps me clean
up, sweeping the cut hair and pulling the patio furniture closer to the
camper and further under the canopy to keep it dry.
We spend the next two days huddled up as the rain pours down -
filling the time with movies, cards, and board games. As much as we
all get along, there’s an underlying tension in the air between us all.
Touching, teasing, and flirting is at an all-time high but with all of us
in the small space together - I just can’t bring myself to take it any
further with Linc or any of them. It doesn’t stop Linc from sliding into
my bed every night and slowly stroking my body until I’m panting
with need but I never get the release I’m dying for.
By the third day of rain, I have a constant ache between my
thighs and I need to get out and away from them. Linc is watching a
movie from the couch while Devin and Oliver read books, sprawled
out in the recliners. I don’t know where Grayson is but the bunk room
door is closed so maybe he’s taking some alone time too.
“I’m going to the cavern,” I tell them. “Just going to collect the
eggs and then I was thinking of making a stew and biscuits for
supper. Anyone need me to bring anything back?” When I get
negatives all around, I turn and dig out a rain slicker and throw it
over my head. “See you in a few hours!” I call out and then dash out
the door. I take a deep breath and enjoy the smell of ozone and wet
earth for a moment before making a run to the cavern.
I hang the dripping slicker on a peg beside my gun holster and
remember that I never topped up the magazine from the last time I
used it. Grabbing a dish towel from the kitchen I dry the rain from my
bare legs and face and then take care of the eggs and hens. My
mind tracks through all the ingredients I will need to grab for my stew
from the storage room - but bullets first. Ryan and Tommy always
drilled us to keep topped up whenever possible. Admittedly, I’ve
been a little distracted but I should have loaded up again right away.
You never know when you’ll need those few extra bullets in a pinch.
I grab a grocery basket to dump all my ingredients into and then
push open the door to the gym to grab the bullets. The heavy base
of hard rock blares out, surprising me as I quickly shut the door
behind me to keep the music locked in the soundproofed room. My
eyes are like magnets as they latch onto the sweat-covered muscles
on full display as Grayson pumps iron with a fierce frown on his face.
He hasn’t noticed me coming in over the pounding music and his
deep concentration so I just stand there and feast on his body as it
moves and flexes. The deep tan he’s gotten from all the work done
in the gardens and sheen of glistening sweat makes him look like
he’s been dipped in bronze.
My tongue slides out to lick my lips before I bite down on my
bottom lip as my eyes slide over his rippling arms, chest, and abs.
He’s not as broad or as bulky as Linc but that doesn’t change the
raw power and strength I can see as he lifts an impressive amount of
weight. Although they all are tall, Grayson’s an inch or two shorter
than Linc and I would peg him around the six-foot even mark. His
chest is hair-free except for a thin dark line that starts under his belly
button and disappears into the sweat shorts he’s wearing. Shorts
that cup an impressive bulge that makes my fingers inch to uncover.
I’m so focused on his body and the music is so loud that I don’t hear
the weights crashing back into their mount and it’s only when he sits
up and comes to his feet, turning my way - causing my eyes to lift to
his.
“Fuck me.” Slips out in a harsh whisper when I see the dark
intentions in his eyes and the hard set to his usually grinning lips. He
stalks towards me and I think this is what prey must feel like when
they’re being hunted. He comes to a stop in front of me and kicks the
basket I’ve dropped to the side and then pins me to the door with his
hips. There’s not one ounce of sweetness or softness in his
expression, just flaming hunger and need. My eyes start to water;
they're so wide as I look up at him and a flicker of fear sparks in the
back of my mind. He leans even closer and moves his mouth so that
his lips are next to my ear.
“I came here to get away from you,” he growls over the loud
music. “I needed to push my body to the limit to distract it and burn
off the fucking lust that fills it every time I look at you. I’m barely
holding back the beast inside of me that’s raging for you, Kelsey.
And here you are, walking right into my fucking den. The beast is
awake now and he’s starving for you.”
My body takes over from my brain as his mouth covers mine and
his tongue forces its way in. It is hard and hot and so intense that I
feel my panties soaking up my wet heat. My hands come up and
slide along his chest, digging in as he strips me of all inhibitions with
the relentless assault he’s waging on my mouth. It’s so different than
what I thought a kiss would be like with him. It’s filled with darkness
and so intense, triggering something in me that has my nails biting
into his skin and my teeth nipping at his lips as my own growl slips
out. He grunts and then his arms are around me like steel bands as
he picks me up and carries me across the room. He pushes me
against the mirrored wall, never taking his mouth from mine. His
mouth slides back to my ear and his hot breath washes over my
sensitive skin as he cages me in.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me? To my cock?” He asks
me roughly and a thrill goes straight to my pussy as my hips lift,
searching for contact. “This tight little body of yours, your sweet
laugh, and those big, wide innocent eyes - makes me want to fuck
you so hard and dirty you beg for more. I want to strip your
innocence away piece by piece with my mouth, my tongue, my cock.
I want to do filthy, filthy things to your body, Kelsey, and I want to
hear you scream my name as you come harder than you’ve ever
come before.”
Holy HELL! Where the fuck did this come from? My sweet,
charming Grayson has been hiding a beastly devil behind his smile
and I’m so fucking wet and turned on right now that I think I would
drop to my knees and take him in my mouth or spread my legs at the
softest command from him.
 He pulls away from my ear to face me and slides a hard thumb
across my bottom lip. The smoldering intensity never leaves his eyes
and I am so focused on him that his voice cuts through the throbbing
music when he says one word.
“RUN.”
My chest is heaving and my breathing is jagged as I give the
tiniest shake of my head and that’s all it takes for his hands to land
on me. He strips me so fast I barely register it and spins me to face
the mirror, lifting my hands and pinning them out and over my head
with his. His hot body presses against my back and I can’t keep
myself from grinding my ass back against his rigid length. There’s
nothing humorous in his chuckle as his tongue licks me from my
shoulder up to my neck and then to my ear until his dark eyes meet
mine in the mirror.
“Spread your legs.”
It’s not a question, it’s a command and I’m helpless against the
flood of heat burning my core so I do as he says.
“Look at you. Look at those nipples. Are they aching for my touch,
my lips, and my tongue?”
Words aren’t possible so I just nod with a small whimper.
“What about your pussy? Is it wet for me? Does it feel so hot and
swollen? Does it ache for my cock?”
My hips jerk in response and I manage a stuttering “Y-yes!”
His teeth tug on my earlobe and I see the faintest smile pull at his
lips.
“I don’t believe you. We should check to make sure.”
Yes, yes, and fuck yes. I’m so blown away and shocked by how
fast and dirty this is but I won’t lie to myself, I am all in for whatever
he wants to do to me. He keeps one of my hands pressed against
the mirror and drags the other down - folding all our fingers except
for our two index fingers and slides them into my mouth.
“Suck.” He commands.
 I close my eyes and swirl my tongue around both our fingers and
then suck on them but he pulls them away.
“Eyes open. You will watch everything I … everything we … do to
your body or I’ll stop.” At my jerky nod, he murmurs, “Good girl.”
Then he drags our fingers down my chin, along my neck – slowly,
teasingly - to my breasts. He’s in complete control of me and uses
my finger in tandem with his, rolling my peaked nipple and then
pinching it between them. The jolt from the almost painful touch goes
straight to my clit and I grind back even harder against him as he
slowly rocks his hot cock between my ass cheeks. He pulls our
hands down further and gently traces my slit back and forth, back
and forth until I feel like I will lose my mind if he doesn’t go deeper.
When he finally dips our fingers into my soaking wetness my head
falls back against his chest and a loud moan pours from my mouth
as our entwined fingers brush over my throbbing clit. My hips push
forward this time looking for more contact, more friction, more
pressure.
“No.”
Grayson presses my other hand firmly against the mirror,
commanding me to leave it there, and brings his arm down to wrap
around my hips like a steel band so I can’t move and only then does
he get our fingers moving again. Long, slow, swipes through my
wetness drive me wild - never stopping on the place I need it most
and I’m begging for more when he angles us and drives our two
fingers deep inside of me. The noises I’m making, thankfully
drowned out by the music, would make the devil blush as he curls
our fingers and thrusts in and out of my channel.
“Do you feel how hot and tight your greedy pussy is for me,
Kelsey? Feel it squeezing us, pulsing for more. Your pussy wants my
cock so bad, doesn’t it, baby? It wants my cock to pound into it,
fucking it so hard it weeps all your cream down your thighs.”
“Ahhh … yes … fuck … please!” I sob out as I feel the pressure
build, my core tightening as the first wave starts to crest … “Nooo …
” I beg as he pulls us out of my trembling, spasming pussy.
 Grayson raises our fingers to his mouth and licks them before
pushing them through my lips into my mouth.
“See how good you taste? Like fucking honey.” He pulls our
hands away from my mouth and forces my hand back to the mirror
leaving it there with my other one.
“Bend over more and spread your legs apart; then don’t fucking
move. I’m going to eat your ass and pussy until your juices are
spread all over my face and you are going to stay still, watch me do
it, and love every second of it.”
Constant whimpers are coming from my mouth and I can barely
keep my knees locked as I spread wider and bend over so my face
is almost touching the mirror. His chest and abs never leave contact
with my back until he finally drops to his knees behind me and firmly
grips my ass cheeks with two large strong hands and pulls them
apart. The first hot stroke of his tongue has me howling and then
moaning as he laps at my hole. I’ve never had this done to me
before and I would never have thought it would be so fucking erotic.
It makes me wonder how it would feel to have more inside me there
and if I would like it. All other thoughts disappear as his tongue
moves forward and slides straight into my slit. Stroke after shallow
hot stroke - he fucks me with his tongue from behind and I grind
back against his face wanting him deeper, harder, faster. When he
moves forward again and laps and flicks my clit I almost collapse
and let the side of my head rest against the mirror so I can steady
myself and still keep watching his tongue wreak havoc on my pussy.
So many times, I’m so close to coming but as soon as I begin to
tighten, Grayson moves to a different spot. A non-stop chant starts
falling from my lips as I beg him in a shattered voice, “Please,
please, please, please.”
Just when I don’t think I can take any more he pulls back and
stands quickly and thrusts his throbbing cock balls deep into me in
one hard stroke. My back arches involuntarily, almost painfully – as
my whole body spasms and fires with pleasure – I can’t hold back
the scream that escapes as he captures my hair in his fist, pulling it
tight so he can bring his mouth back to my ear.
 “Your cunt was made for my cock. Feel the way I stretch you and
how hard you grip me. I’m going to fuck you so hard and so good
you’re going to come again and again and I’m not going to stop until
I fill you with my cum. And then, and then Kells, you’re going to get
on your back and suck me off again while I lick you clean and make
you come again all over my tongue.”
And that’s exactly what he did. His cock feels like a velvet-
covered steel rod as he pounds into me, forcing climax after climax
from my body and when I can’t stand anymore, he takes us down to
our knees, pushes my face to the floor, and fucks me some more.
I’m lost in a haze of orgasms that just keep crashing over me. I take
him in my mouth as deep as I can and my pussy pulses for more as
he holds my face and fucks my mouth until his cock explodes,
spilling his seed down my throat. Then he’s between my legs and my
fingers are pulling on his hair and my thighs squeeze around his
head as his tongue lashes my clit to another orgasm that almost
hurts as I scream his name.
When we finally finish and part, I don’t recognize the woman
staring back at me from the mirror. I look wild and untamed and
completely flush with satisfaction. I’ve never felt this way or looked
this way in my life and I don’t quite know how to feel about that.
Grayson shuts the blaring music off, brings my clothes to me, and
helps me dress. The intensity he showed me is gone, replaced by
his usual sweetness. He brushes my hair back, pulls me gently
against him, and buries his face in my hair. He just holds me like that
for a few moments and then pulls back to stare into my eyes.
“Kells, baby …” he trails off with a harsh breath as his brow
furrows. “I don’t have the right words to tell you how I feel about you.
Everything I come up with sounds trite and shallow compared to
what I’m feeling. Who you are, your kindness, your strength. The
sound of your laugh and the way you walk into walls when we
overload your brain. How I feel when I’m kissing you, touching you.
Baby, it fills a void in me that’s been empty for so long.” His forehead
presses against mine and I see, I see what he’s trying to say and I
recognize it because I feel that way too. “Kells, you make me feel
whole again and I never want to let you go.”
 I feel tears welling up because after so long alone I understand
what he means. The jagged hole inside me that started when
Tommy, Ryan, and Lisa disappeared and then yawned wide open
after what happened with Tara - is starting to fill in and it’s all
because of these four men. The sex so far has been mind-blowing
but that just filled a physical need I didn’t even know I had. What is
really starting to fill the emptiness and erase some of my crazy is the
way they treat me. The way they take care of me and show me in so
many little ways that they care about me. I hug those feelings to my
chest and just breathe out.
“Yes.”
His lips find mine in a kiss so deep, so slow and so packed full of
meaning that my head starts to spin as a warm glow envelopes me.
When he finally releases me, I’m wobbly on my feet and he guides
me to the door.
“I’ll clean up in here and wipe everything down. Why don’t you go
grab a shower and take a little time to … take some time. We can
talk later if you want.”
I blink a few times and nod, still lost in the glowing haze of the
extreme pleasure he inflicted on my body and the warmth of too
many feelings to sort through. I’m so lost in it that I walk out of the
cavern into the pouring rain without my slicker. Lightning flashes
across the sky followed by the crack of thunder but I barely notice as
I slowly walk to the camper. Every part of me is soaked through with
rain as I step inside and stand dripping for a minute.
“Hey! You’re completely drenched. Did you want me to run back
and grab the stew?” Linc asks me while grabbing a dish towel and
wiping the water from my face.
My eyes manage to focus on him and I ask with confusion,
“Stew?”
A knowing grin starts to slide across his face but all he gets out is,
“Grayson …” before all four of our phones start blaring out alarms. I
snatch mine from my back pocket and start swiping and tapping until
I have the screen I need open. All thoughts of sex and love are
scraped from my mind as I feel all the blood leave my face. I lift my
head and meet each of their gazes as I say the one word I’ve been
terrified of since the fences went up.
“Breach.”
 KELSEY

’m back out the door and gone even as they are yelling at me to
I wait. This isn’t a wait and ‘see what happens’ type of problem. This
is a get lots of guns and bullets and use them all right fucking now,
problem. I hit the cavern and blow past Grayson who’s just left the
gym with his phone clenched in his hand even as he calls my name.
I go straight to the big bank of cupboards against the one wall and
throw them open, snag an empty bag from the bottom and start filling
it with pre-loaded magazines for my handguns and the rifles that are
already in the guard towers waiting to be used. I snatch handfuls of
shotgun shells and dump them in and then pull a tactical shotgun
from the mounts on the wall filled with weapons. It’s not silenced like
the handguns and rifle but if it gets bad enough that I need it, silence
won’t matter anymore. I sling the shotgun and bag over my
shoulders and turn to run just as all four men run into the room so I
wave toward the cupboards.
“Take what you want and meet me out there,” I order but when I
try and move around them, Devin steps in front of me and grabs both
my arms holding me in place.
“No! We go together. Fuck, Kelsey! Just wait for us. We go
together.” He snaps at me, giving my arms a little shake.
I glare at him and open my mouth to tell him off but then just
growl out, “Fine but fucking move it!”
While they gear up, I wipe the rain from my face and take another
look at the security app to get a better handle on what we are facing.
There’s a gaping black hole in the lit-up map that tells me a portion
of the fence is down and the pressure sensors on the interior fence
of the same section are showing red so it’s being pushed on. All of
the other panels are green so I have no idea what’s going on in that
one area to attract the dead. This doesn’t make sense. If we’ve been
breached by a pack or even worse, a horde - then the panels all
along that area would be red as they pressed against the fences.
Why just that one area? Is it another person? Did someone alive
climb the fence and bring the dead down on us? Fuck!
I tell the others what I’m worried about so we can all be on guard
for the living as well as the dead and then we start running. Linc
snags my slicker on the way out as I pull on my holsters but I flick it
away with a shake of my head. It’s too bright and bulky and too easy
for the dead to grab onto. Being wet won’t kill me, the dead will if
they get their hands on me. We run out into the rain and I feel the
mud sucking at my shoes as we speed down rows of plants. When
we get within twenty feet of the fence I let out a screech of frustration
at what I see but also lose a little bit of the tension I’ve been holding.
It’s not the dead that has breached the fence, it’s a downed fucking
tree!
My sprint slows to a stop and I grab Oliver and Linc as they try to
run past me, I pull them close so I don’t have to yell so loud over the
storm, and start firing off instructions.
“I need you to go back! It’s a tree. A tree has crashed through the
fence! On the other side of the greenhouse are three sheds. One of
them has an ATV in it and a utility trailer. You need to load it up from
the other two sheds. Chainsaws, hatchets, saws, chains. Also bring
the spool of steel wire, clamps, and brackets. Don’t worry too much
about the gardens - just fucking drive over them if you have to! Dev,
Gray, and I will stay here in the towers and pick off any of the dead
that head this way. GO!” I yell, shoving them back the way we just
came and then whirling toward the fence and running up to Dev and
Gray who are now standing in front of the section that is covered in
flailing branches and leaves in the wind.
“Come with me!” I yell to be heard and then lead them to the
nearest guard platform and climb up the ladder. Once they’ve
scrambled up behind me, I show them the hinged bench seat we
built on all the towers and open it. Inside is a silenced rifle, extra
ammunition, two jugs of water, some protein bars, a blanket, and a
small med kit. The tower is also equipped with a couple of
sharpened poles that are long enough to be able to stab zombies on
the ground. The idea was if we were ever overrun, we could survive
on the towers for a few days while we picked off the dead.
I grab the rifle and quickly make sure the guys know how to
reload and then point to the next two platforms.
“Go and pick off any dead in your area and when Oliver and Linc
get back, one of us will have to go help them cut up and move that
tree. We need to try and create a barrier with the cut-up pieces so
the dead can’t stack up against that fence panel. We’ll have to wait
until the ground dries out before we can properly reinforce it with
new, cemented-in posts. Two of us will stay up and keep the dead off
of the others.”
Dev grabs me by the arms tightly. “You, you will stay up here and
cover us while we work! I’m not fucking around, Kelsey! You’re the
best shot of us all and the tree job needs brute strength to get it done
fast. Stay up here until we get the fence back up.”
I shake my head angrily but he barks at me before I can argue.
“If you are on the ground with us, you will be a distraction that
could get us killed. We’ll be so busy making sure that you’re alright
that it will take us twice as long to get it done. Please, Kelsey, we
need you up here watching our backs!”
Now’s not the time to argue and I hate to admit it but he is mostly
right, so I just give him a curt nod and tell them to go before getting
my rifle on its mount and start scanning the forest for the dead.
Right away I can see three stumbling grey shapes headed this
way. I breathe in, line up my first shot, and as I breathe out caress
the trigger. The first two shots I take are perfect headshots but the
third zombie lurches left just as I shoot. With a curse, I steady up and
fire again, dropping it.
I scan constantly, shooting when I have to, and finally hear the
low rumble of the ATV. I scan all around the area where the tree
went down to make sure it’s cleared and breathe a sigh of relief
when I see the ATV with Linc driving and Oliver and Devin running
beside it on the outside of the fences. My head swivels as I take
another survey and don’t see any threats - so my eyes move back to
the boys just as Linc lifts a chainsaw and it roars to life. Fuck! It’s so
loud, even with the storm raging. That damn thing is like a dinner bell
being rung for the dead but there’s no choice but to use it if we want
to get that tree cut up and moved quickly. I tear my eyes away from
them and concentrate on looking for any threats around them.
As the first hour passes I’m wishing I had thrown on my slicker
after all. I’m beyond soaked as the rain never lets up and the way my
body is shivering makes me miss my last shot twice. I finally take the
zombie down on my third try. The saturated cut-offs and t-shirt I’m
wearing offer no protection from the weather and I finally snatch the
blanket from the bench and drape it over my body and head to keep
the driving rain from my eyes and then I’m back to scanning and
shooting.
Sometime during the second hour, Tara shows up and distracts
me from the rain-soaked blanket that no longer offers me any
warmth.
“It’s a good thing your men showed up when they did, Kells. This
would have been a real bitch to manage on your own.”
I just grunt as I take another shot and then swipe my dripping
nose.
“I would have managed. I did it for over a year by myself.”
She laughs. “Oh yeah, superwoman you, totally would have cut
and moved that tree while dodging dead, gropey hands. How many
have you taken down so far? By my count, it’s thirty- seven and who
knows how many Grayson’s taken out.”
We both look that way and I see Devin is now behind the rifle with
Gray, Linc, and Oliver working to pull the fence back up.
“Thirty-nine,” I tell her.
 She rolls her eyes at me so I go back to scanning. “All I’m saying
is you made the right call letting them in and that’s not even taking
into consideration the sex. Can we talk about THAT because holy
orgasms on a cracker, that was fucking hot!”
“No. I don’t want to talk about that.” I tell her and then take out
another zombie that’s just come into view.
“Poo, you’re no fun! Is it because you’ve banged two out of the
four now? Why would that bother you? They said you didn’t have to
choose.”
I clench my teeth. “Just because they said that doesn’t mean I
should have done it, Tara. I’m not a …”
“Slut bag? Whore master? Dirty HO? Ooh, ooh, I know! Buckle
bunny!” Her laugh fills the air around me. “God, Kells, you’re such a
priss. Seriously, why would that bother you? Do you think the
zombies are going to judge you? Besides, they’ve all made it pretty
clear that they have feelings for you besides just wanting your gold-
plated snatch. I say go all in, enjoy every damn minute and orgasm
you can get in this fucked up world. You deserve it, babes.”
“Can you do me a favor, Tara? Can you fuck off right now?”
“Awe, Boo, you say the sweetest things to me! Kay, love you,
byee!”
And then I’m alone again, scanning and shooting. It takes another
forty minutes for the guys to wire and clamp the fence panel back
into place. When Linc drives the ATV through the gate and back
toward the sheds my whole body relaxes by half. I stay put for
another twenty minutes, taking out a few more zombies at a distance
so they don’t stack up on the outer fence. Judging that we should be
in good shape for now, I pull out my phone and hit the button to fire
off one cannon shot of fireworks. It won’t be heard or seen by any of
the dead not in the close vicinity with the storm still overhead but
hopefully, it will turn around any that are headed this way. I throw off
the soaked blanket and just leave it to be dealt with when the sun is
out again, secure the rifle and add the extra ammunition I brought
with me to top up what I used. Slinging the shotgun and bag over my
shoulder, I climb down and head back to the camper.
My body is aching from the cold and involuntary shudders wrack
my body as I trudge through the mud back to the campers. I dump
the bag and guns onto one of the patio couches and then strip all my
sodden clothes off, leaving them in a pile on the patio before going
in. I don’t look to see who’s already inside, just climb the three steps
and push open the bathroom door to find a cloud of hot steam
billowing out. It’s a tight fit with Linc’s broad body and the honest
truth is it could have been any of them and I would have stepped into
that hot shower anyway - but I’m glad it’s Linc who pulls me under
the hot spray and starts soaping me up.
“Jesus, Kelsey, your lips are blue!”
I don’t say anything, just lean my head against his hard chest and
let him wash me as slowly the hot water starts to ease the chill from
my bones. When he shuts the water off, he dries me off with a clean
towel and then wraps it around me and leads me to my room. A
warm oversized hoody goes over my head and cozy sweatpants and
thick socks are slid on and then we are going back out and down to
the table.
Oliver slides a steaming bowl of soup in front of me and then a
cup of coffee. After I’ve swallowed down a few spoonfuls of soup and
half my coffee, I finally feel like I can function so I lean back and look
over the guys. I wince when I see scratches and small cuts on their
faces and arms where the tree branches whipped at them as they
worked to clear it.
“Thank you.”
My soft words stop all conversation as four sets of eyes turn my
way so I clear my throat and try again. “Thank you all for what you
did. I … I doubt I would have been able to do that myself. At least,
not that fast, so thank you.”
It’s Dev that pins me with a look and throws my words back at
me.
 “You don’t have to thank us for protecting our home. We’re not
guests here anymore and we’re never checking out.”
I see the truth in his eyes so I give a tiny nod and go back to
eating my soup as Grayson starts talking about rewiring the fence to
get the alarm back up on that panel and Oliver talks about post holes
and cement to reinforce that section once everything dries up again.
Even as my head starts nodding into the last of my soup, a small
smile tugs at my lips. Home, this is their home and they’re not going
anywhere.
I’m starting to doze off when Linc scoops me up from my chair
and takes me back to my room. He strips the clothes I just put on off
of me and helps me into bed, sliding in naked behind me. I settle
back against him and just let all the stress and weight of the day flow
out of me. I’m almost asleep when a second warm, hard body slides
in on the other side of me. Sandwiched between them, enveloped in
their heat and wrapped in a feeling of comfort, the last of the chill in
my bones starts to fade. Feeling more protected and wanted than I
can ever remember, I close my eyes and drift into a restless slumber.
My dreams are filled with downed fences and relentless hordes of
dead pouring through. I watch as one by one Linc, Oliver, Grayson,
Devin - are all torn apart by clawing hands and biting teeth and once
again I’m left alone with all I love stolen from me. It ends with Tara.
She’s yelling at me, pleading with me to do what needs to be done.
At the last instant before my finger curls around the trigger and
squeezes, I come awake with a strangled gasp.
Soothing words and hard hands rub softly on my skin to calm me
but it’s not enough. I need the images wiped from my mind. I need
the terror and despair replaced by something else so I find the
closest lips and pour it all into a kiss that makes clear what I really
need, what I want. Linc pulls me roughly against him and savages
my mouth with his. It helps and has my body relaxing and heating up
but it’s not enough so I reach behind me and find Grayson’s hand
and tug it in between my legs. He presses against my back and his
clever fingers dip into the hot wetness that’s starting to pool there.
He slides up and down my slit a few times and then slips inside to
circle my clit. The exquisite pressure has me bucking my hips
against Linc’s swollen cock even as Grayson grinds against my ass.
Linc breaks our smoldering kiss and taps Gray to get him to move
back and then I’m on my back between them and Gray’s mouth is on
mine as he slides two fingers deep inside me and begins to pump
them in and out. He swallows my cries of pleasure and holds me
down when I try to arch off the bed as Linc sucks hard on my
sensitive nipples. God, even with all they’re doing to my body, I need
more. There’s a beast inside me now and it’s roaring to be fed.
I drag my mouth off of Gray’s and beg, “Please! Please, I need
one of you inside me!”
Linc’s strength is on full display as he plucks me off the bed,
spins me around, and positions me to straddle Grayson. My hips roll
so my open pussy can glide along his hard shaft, the friction on my
clit sparking electric bolts of pleasure that travel through my body.
My hands are splayed on Grayson’s chest and alternately release
and contract in time with the clenching muscles in between my legs.
Linc pushes on my back, telling me to lean over so my breasts
are pressed into Grayson’s chest and he can capture my mouth
again. Our lips part and his tongue wages a relentless attack on
mine. I gasp into his mouth when I feel Linc’s large, rounded head
press against my opening. Instinctively I tilt my hips to lift my ass a
few inches and Linc buries himself deep inside my pussy. Every hard
stroke of his cock has me sliding along Gray’s wet shaft and pushing
me closer and closer to the crest of my climax. Linc’s fingers dig into
my hips as his thrusts are matched underneath me by Gray’s cock
sliding back and forth over my clit.
Linc groans out as I begin to tighten around him and Grayson
slams his mouth back on mine and rolls my nipples between his
thumbs and fingers, sending me over the edge and swallowing the
scream that rushes out of me at my release. My walls clamp down
again and again on Linc’s cock as the orgasm rocks through me and
encourages his release as he cums deep inside me. At the same
time, Gray moans into my mouth and I feel his hot cum spread out
between us, painting our skin.
 The three of us collapse together for a few minutes, getting our
breath back and enjoying the moment. Linc rolls over and snags a
shirt from the floor and uses it to clean us off before handing it to
Gray to clean as well. The shirt gets balled up and tossed into a
corner and then I’m back to being sandwiched between them.
Soothing strokes on my hair and skin have my eyes fluttering closed.
I have one thought before I let sleep take me again. This isn’t the
first time they’ve both been with the same woman, they’ve done this
before.
 OLIVER

omething is bothering Kelsey.

S It took us five days to rewire and reinforce the fence panel that
the tree took down. The wiring was the easy part as Grayson did
most of it and he had it back online the day after it went down. The
hard part was waiting three more days for the ground to firm back up
enough from all the rain to support the fence. We dug new post
holes and poured cement - so that new panel is probably even more
secure than the rest of the fence. During all that time, Kelsey stayed
out of the way, leaving the fence to us and working on salvaging
what she could from the torn-up areas of the garden that Linc and I
drove over with the ATV the night the tree came down.
It’s not only that she’s been keeping busy away from us, it’s how
quiet she’s become. I’m pleased that she’s been eating more and I
can already see she’s gained a few pounds, softening some of the
sharper edges on her body. Something is on her mind though and I
can’t put my finger on it. My brain hasn’t yet met a puzzle it didn’t
tackle head-on and I’m frustrated that I can’t solve this one.
I know she’s now been with both Linc and Grayson but she’s
been keeping her distance from them as well. The last few nights,
Kelsey has gone to bed alone. Her bedroom door has been locked
every night when she wakes from her nightmares and one of us tries
to go in to calm her. I knocked last night to try and get her to open it
but she just called out that she was fine and she would see me in the
morning. I look out over the gardens and see her walking the rows,
occasionally bending over to pull a weed and frown, remembering
her conversation with Dev this morning.
 “So what’s the deal, Princess? Are you going to give us the cold
shoulder every night your nightmares wake us all up now or are you
going back to drinking and smoking on the patio?” He bit out at her in
annoyance.
I didn’t intervene even though I saw her shoulders come up and
she started chewing on that lip of hers in anxiety. I wanted to see her
snap back at him, see some spark come back. Instead, she just
tucked her head down and apologized, mumbling about finding
earplugs for us so she wouldn’t bother us at night. When she took off
to the gardens right after that, Dev glared at the rest of us.
“Who fucked the Princess up?” He growled at us but none of us
had an answer as to why she has pulled back from us.
I watch her walk over and disappear into the greenhouse and
consider quizzing Linc and Grayson again to try and figure this out
but shake my head even as my feet begin to move. We are coming
up on being here for two weeks and it feels like we’re back to step
one with Kelsey. I haven’t been with her sexually and I don’t know if
she would even want to be with me that way. No matter how much I
want her, I would accept any decision she made in that regard. What
I can’t stand though is not seeing her smile, not hearing her laugh,
and the few times I got to hold her in my arms through the night was
heaven for me so it would be a blow to never experience that again. I
want, no, I need Kelsey happy and healthy. I have to find out what
has upset her and find a way to fix it.
I pull open the greenhouse door and see her watering her small
citrus trees so I go and stand against the cutting table and wait for
her to notice my presence. When she finally turns and spots me, she
jerks back and the watering can drops from her fingers and falls,
spilling the water into a puddle on the ground.
“Oliver! You startled me. I … I didn’t hear you come in.” Her
words are rushed as if she is flustered.
Kelsey bends to scoop the can back up, completely avoiding eye
contact with me. I wait her out and say nothing but it only makes her
jitteriness worse. She stumbles over to the other end of the table,
sets the can down, and then straightens tools and pots that don’t
need to be straightened.
I see her knuckles whiten as she grips the edge of the table and
still without looking at me asks, “Is there something you need?”
I can’t stand this! She went from warm and open with me to this,
this almost fearful reaction. What the fuck happened?
“Yes, I need you to tell me what’s wrong.” I keep the anxiousness
from my voice and keep my tone calm and cool to try and not upset
her even more. She finally looks my way but it’s a darting glance and
then she’s back to biting her lip and staring down at the table again.
“Nothing’s wrong. You guys did a great job fixing the fence. Um,
crops look good. We should be able …”
“Kelsey.” I cut her off causing her brow to furrow and her fingers
to reach for an empty pot. I step into her space and lift her chin,
forcing her to look at me. Tears are welling up in her eyes as I let her
chin go and tug her against me. My lips brush over her hair and then
I lean back.
“Tell me what’s wrong, beautiful. Let me help fix it.”
A lone tear escapes and trails down her cheek as she gives a
small shake of her head.
“You can’t fix it, Oliver. You, you and the others are the problem.”
She sniffs back the rest of her tears and pulls away from me, turning
back to the table.
I have to work on steadying my own breathing as her words have
my anxieties surging forth. She doesn’t want us. We are her
problem. How can I fix that? How can I leave here and give her up?
She’s everything I ever wanted in a woman. How can I walk away
from that? Ask the others who feel just as strongly about her to walk
away? Her eyes slide my way again and she must see some of what
I’m thinking on my face because she pinches her eyes shut tight for
a moment and then turns back to me.
“No, no, Oliver. I’m sorry, that came out wrong.” She heaves out
trembling breath and then takes my hands. “Everyone I loved, they
left me. I’ve been alone for so long and now that you all are here,
well, I’m starting to feel, feel a lot - and it terrifies me.” She swallows
hard and I can see her searching for the right words so I wait. “I …
you … argh … I can’t do that again! I can’t have everyone I care
about die and leave me alone again. It would be the end of me!”
Now her tears are flowing down her face and she looks past me
and makes an angry face, causing me to glance over my shoulder to
see if one of the others has come in but we are still alone. I focus
back on her and use my thumbs to wipe away some of the tears.
“In the old world, there were never any guarantees and there’s
definitely none now - so I won’t promise you that nothing will happen
and that we will live long and healthy lives together. That’s just not
possible to promise but Kelsey - I will promise that every second we
have here with you, we will all do everything in our power to stay
safe. We won’t take any unnecessary chances and we will go to any
lengths to stay with you.”
I bend down and place a kiss on her forehead. “We just want you
happy, Kelsey, and we feel a lot for you too. Isn’t that worth taking a
chance on?” I lean back and worry over what I know I should say
next but say it anyway.
“Are things moving too fast for you?”
When her eyes slide away from mine I bite down on my tongue to
not show or tell her just how much I want to speed things up with her,
not slow them down. I wait while holding my breath for her to say yes
things are moving too fast but what she says in a whispered,
secretive little voice instead has me choking back a reaction.
“I had sex with Linc and Grayson … at the same time!”
 KELSEY

might have whispered it but it still feels like I just shouted that out. I
I ignore Tara’s laughter and chew on my lip waiting to see what
Oliver will say. It’s not the response I thought it would be.
“Did you like it?”
I step back from him with a frown, needing a little space as my
face flushes red. It’s been weighing on me since it happened. Not
that I regret it but that maybe this whole not having to choose is a
pattern with these guys. Maybe I’m just the latest woman in a long
string of women that they’ve done this with. I’m not innocent of
having a past sex life. I don’t expect them to not have one. I just
want to know if this is a thing with them that they do or have done a
lot in the past.
“I … um, yes, yes I liked it but … Oliver? Do you guys do this kind
of thing a lot? Um, share a woman, I mean.”
He leans back against the table and crosses his arms over his
chest. His expression is back to calm and cool.
“I see. You’re worried that this is some kind of game we play with
women.”
I look away quickly with a hint of shame at how harsh that sounds
but I also need to know so I give him a slight nod.
“Once. Look at me, Kelsey.”
I force my eyes to meet his again and he goes on.
“We shared a woman once before. We met her about a year after
the dead rose. We rescued her when she was trapped and she
joined our group. Her name was Mia. She was … hard. She had
hard edges and it was her idea for all of us to be together. It took a
while but eventually, we agreed. Mia offered us a tiny bit of escape, a
physical escape anyway - from what the world has become. It was
sex without feelings. She didn’t want any attachments from us other
than a release. Like you say, there are an awful lot of hours in the
day now. Mia was only too happy to fill them with us in a sexual way.
In hindsight, it was a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, we all
participated and enjoyed what she offered but she wasn’t a very nice
person, Kelsey. She tried her best to cause problems between us. I
think she craved the drama of the four of us fighting over her but
when we saw through her games and refused to play, she paid us
back by stealing the last of the food in the middle of the night and
leaving all the doors and gates open for the dead to come in. If
Grayson had woken one minute later, I would be dead right now.”
He scrubs at his face and waits for me to process everything he’s
said before going on.
“What’s happening here, what is happening with you - it’s nothing
like what we did with Mia. Kelsey, if you told me, us, right now - that
you didn’t want to be physical with any of us or even if you wanted to
be with only one of us, it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. I
would bet the last chili mac MRE that the others would say the same
thing. We care about you very much, Kelsey. The sex is just a very
nice bonus but we would all respect your decision to not be with any
of us that way again. Is that what you want?”
Now I need to completely turn away from him as I sort through all
he’s said and his question. First, I’m not that bothered about them
being with that woman. I get having sex without feelings. Just having
someone to ease the loneliness, to help escape for a few brief
minutes. I get that. Doesn’t make me want to scratch her eyes out
any less but I get it. Now that I know that this isn’t some game they
play, I feel better about it and also worse because … feelings.
Feelings turn into love and I lose everyone I love and that’s what
started me down this slide into depression. The more I’m with them,
the more time I spend with them and share my life and the more sex
I have with them, the more I feel like I’m tipping towards the big L-
word. That’s what scares me the most and that doesn’t even take
into account how fast this all seems to be happening.
Oliver said there are no guarantees and he’s right. So is Tara,
who blasted me for being an idiot while he was talking. They both
basically told me that some happiness would be better than none at
all and as much as it terrifies me, I have to take that chance. I have
to believe that this time I will get to keep the people I love and that
means I need to give myself to them completely because if I’m going
to take a chance it’s going to be for the whole pie, not just a tiny
slice. I take a deep breath and slowly turn to face him.
“No, that’s not what I want. I … I want … you, all of you … in
every way.”
He reaches out and tugs me toward him by my t-shirt until I’m
against his chest. His fingers slide up into my hair and he cups my
head so that I’m looking up at him.
“I meant what I said. The feelings I have for you go beyond
physical attraction but Kelsey, it’s a powerful attraction. I want you so
bad it’s painful.”
I barely have time to gasp at the intensity in his eyes before his
mouth falls on mine and he shows me just how powerful it is. My
head swims as desire floods me, bringing that delicious sensation of
heat and readiness to my core. Oliver explores every part of my
mouth. He’s so thorough as his tongue slides against mine and when
he finally breaks the kiss to slide that attentive mouth down over my
jaw, to my neck, I’m panting with need. The hot promises he makes
against my skin between kisses and licks just make it worse.
“I want to explore every inch of you. Learn all your secrets. What
makes you moan and what makes you gasp and what makes you
beg for more.”
My head is back and my eyes flutter closed as he tugs my shirt to
the side so he can trace my collarbone with his mouth.
“I want all of you and then I want even more. I want to hear the
symphony of your pleasure-filled cries as I slide in and out of you.”
His hands slide around to cup my ass and he drags me against him
so his hard bulge rubs me through our clothes. We grind against
each other as he pulls away from my neck and meets my eyes
again.
“I want to see your pupils blow out when my cock is inside of you
and Linc and Grayson’s mouths pleasure you at the same time.
Hmm, what would please you most, Kelsey? Linc thrusting into you
from behind while my hot tongue lashes your clit and Grayson feeds
you his cock? We’ll make you come so hard, Kelsey. We’ll give you
everything you ever wanted and so much more and we will love you
with all that we have inside of us. You just have to say yes.”
Saying yes or anything else right now is just not possible as my
brain has shut down from the picture he’s painted. I’m so overloaded
with sensations and images of what he described that it takes me a
minute to realize that Oliver has stepped back from me. A shiver
wracks my body and I have to shake my head a bit to come back to
reality and meet his eyes.
“You should go. Go and think about what we talked about. I want
you to be sure of what you really want and you can’t do that with my
hands on your body, clouding your mind.”
I want to argue. I want to tell him that his hands on my body and
his mouth on mine make all the decisions easier but I know he’s right
- no matter how hot and throbbing the ache between my thighs is. I
force myself to nod in agreement and then push my feet to back
away from him until I can turn and race out the door. I stand outside
for a moment and just breathe deeply a few times to get my body
under control and then turn to walk deeper into the gardens. I hit the
back fence and start walking the perimeter, lost in thought until Tara
steps up beside me to walk with me.
“Fuck, that guy. For all his cool, calm ways, he has a streak of
inferno-level heat raging inside him.”
“Uh-huh.” I stutter out.
She laughs. “Besides the pretty sexy picture he just painted,
everything else he said is true, babes. You deserve to be happy.
Fate served you up a steaming pile of shit but it made up for it by
delivering four hot as sin men who want to worship you, and not just
your body either. They want you, Kells. Just like you’re falling for
them, they’re falling for you. If those guys are willing to take a
chance on love, why aren’t you?”
I give her a frown and am about to argue that it’s not that simple
when the breeze that’s blowing shifts and I’m hit with a putrid smell.
“Uh oh, looks like you’ve been getting lazy with the body disposal,
Kells. Not that I blame you, being distracted by all the man meat, but
a few more days of heat and this place will be unlivable between the
smell and the flies.”
I groan at my least favorite chore but then perk up as my feet turn
to head back to the camper. I don’t have to do it alone anymore. I
have four strong men to help me haul the bodies away. Tara skips
ahead of me and turns so she’s walking backward with a devilish
grin.
“Yup, you can get the guys to do the heavy lifting and then you
could reward them. Oliver’s painting of all three of them on you
sounds amazing but Kells, think about how mind and body blowing it
would be to have all four at once!” Her eyebrows wiggle and she
laughs like a loon as if she knows how the thought of that has my
panties getting wet again. Damn her!
I find the guys all on the patio deep in a conversation that abruptly
comes to a halt when Linc spots me and nudges the others. My toe
catches on one edge of the flagstone and I stumble awkwardly when
I immediately come to the conclusion they are talking about me. My
eyes go to Oliver but he’s got that calm cool expression of his that’s
next to impossible to read. I huff out a breath and ignore the blush
heating my face and walk over to them.
“Um, hey,” I say lamely then have to think for a few seconds
about why I came over here in the first place. “Right! Um, thanks
again for doing such a great job on the fence. Uh, there’s not a lot to
do for the next couple weeks except for some minor weeding before
the next round of crops are due to harvest but um, I’ve been
neglecting something that I should have done sooner so I’m hoping
you guys will help me with it.”
 Dev lifts an impatient eyebrow. “Spit it out, Princess. If there’s
work to be done, we will do it.”
I make a sour face at him and flip him the bird which for some
reason causes him to smile in satisfaction like he’s pleased with my
rude response. I don’t get him sometimes so I turn to the others.
“It’s the bodies. The dead we took out the night you first got here
and then all the ones we shot when the tree went down. We can’t
leave them that close to the fence. Um, they’re really starting to stink
and the longer we leave them close by, the more flies they will
attract. It’s just not healthy for us so …”
Linc pushes to his feet. “We should move them.”
I nod. “Yes, I have a garden cart with big tires that I use to … haul
them. There’s a place, a clearing through the trees that has a small
ravine I dump them into. I wish I could burn them but …” I motion to
the forest surrounding us, “If the fire got out of control, there’s no
way I could stop it.”
Dev kicks to his feet. “Roger that, just point us in the right
direction and we’ll take care of it. While we do that, would you mind
making that spaghetti dinner you made on our first night? I’ve been
dreaming about your garlic cheese bread for days.”
I frown. “No, I mean, yes I can make that for supper but I didn’t
mean that I wouldn’t help clear the bodies. I’ll go with you guys.”
Dev starts shaking his head. “Nope, we will take care of it.
There’s no need for you to be out there exposed like that.”
He must see the thunderous expression forming on my face
because he throws up a hand to stop the rebuttal I’m about to hit him
with.
“It would be great if you watched our backs from the guard
platform like you did when we worked on the tree, though.”
I hit each one of them with an annoyed look as I see them all nod.
“You guys understand that I managed just fine on my own before you
showed up, right? Inside AND outside the fence.”
 Dev smirks and steps right up to me, yanks me against his chest,
and hits me with a toe-curling kiss that has me seeing stars and then
pulls back and bops me on the nose. That last little bit has the stars
fading to be quickly replaced with flames of anger it’s so damn
condescending.
“And now you don’t have to! We can take care of that kind of stuff
for you while you stay safe inside the fence.”
I grit my teeth and grind out, “To make you dinner? While the big
strong men do the hard work?”
Before he can reply Oliver cautions, “Do NOT answer that!”
And Grayson laughs, “Dead man walking.”
Linc slaps his forehead. “Stop digging, man.”
Dev’s grin widens like he’s enjoying this. “Sounds about right. Oh,
don’t forget the cheese on the bread. I love cheese too.”
I let a woman’s vindictive calm settle over me. I know just how to
handle this fucker. My tone is sweet as syrup when I tell him, “Oh, I
wouldn’t dream of forgetting the cheese. I’m looking forward to
making my big strong men a hearty supper after they work so hard.
Sadly, you will all have to fend for yourselves for tomorrow’s supper
though. I’ll be gone all day. I have a field trip planned.”
Dev’s eyes narrow and the grin is replaced with a scowl. “Like
fuck you do.”
I shrug one shoulder. “Sorry, can’t be helped. I need to go out and
reload the fireworks cannon. It’s a pivotal part of our security. If
another horde comes through, and one will, the one that followed
you guys was the fourth to pass through here. We will need that
cannon to redirect them.”
Devin shoots the others a look and I see that they are all now
scowling my way. He turns back to me and bites out, “Draw us a
map!”
I pat his cheek and give him a sassy smile. “No can do. It’s tricky
to find but if you want to come with me, I’ll show you where it is for
next time.” I start walking backward. “The garden cart is in one of the
sheds and don’t forget to wear gloves and masks, they can get pretty
ripe. Also, the ravine to dump the bodies in is straight southwest
from the corner of the fence and through the trees. You can’t miss it.
Kay, byeee!”
I rush out and then turn and power walk in the opposite direction.
Take that, big strong men!
I jog into the garden and grab the garlic and romaine lettuce for
later and dump them in the kitchen and then holster up and walk out
to one of the guard towers to set up the rifle. They might piss me off
with their little lady bullshit but that doesn’t mean I won’t be watching
them like a hawk. These are my men and I will do whatever it takes
to keep them, bullshit and all.
 KELSEY

y alarm wakes me as the first hints of morning light stain the sky.
M I roll out of my empty bed, having locked my door once again
last night to sleep alone. Even though I’ve mostly decided to go
all-in with the guys, I still feel like I need some more time to accept it.
I pull on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt and dig out my flat-
soled knee-high boots. I’ll be drenched in sweat by the time I make it
home but the coverage is needed while trekking through the forest
with random dead popping up that will need to be dealt with. It’s a
two-hour walk to this side of the quarry and another half an hour to
get to the other side so it shouldn’t take us more than six hours to go
there and back … as long as nothing goes wrong.
I roll my eyes as I pull on my boots at the nonsense I had to put
up with last night as each one of the guys tried to talk me out of
going. They were adamant that I stay back and let them go in my
place but I wasn’t and am not having that. I love how they want to
take care of me and keep me safe but no matter what Dev calls me, I
am not a helpless princess to be locked in a cage. I know how to
handle myself with the dead and have done a lot on my own this
past year as well as before. I can’t let them lock me away while they
go take all the risks. They finally caved and agreed to go with me
and then drew sticks to see which one would stay back to keep an
eye on things here. Oliver drew the short stick. He kept his regular
expression as he turned to look at me but the tightening of his jaw
and the way the stick snapped in his fingers told me just how
unhappy he was with it.
I throw open my door, hit the bathroom for all the morning needs,
and then knock on the wall beside the loft until I hear Linc moving.
Passing by the door to the bunkhouse slide I knock on it as well.
Devin is already awake and glaring at me. He was the most pissed
off that I wouldn’t change my mind so I ignore him, pour myself a
mug of coffee, and get to work frying up eggs and making toast. I eat
my breakfast standing at the counter as one by one the guys come
and get their plates and settle at the table. Every one of them is in a
pissy mood so I finish up quickly and leave the dishes for Oliver to
do after we’re gone and then head for the door.
“Meet me at the cavern,” I tell them as I take off down the stairs.
“I’d like to be out of here in the next twenty minutes, please.”
I’m not interested in rehashing their arguments again. Last night
after I’d finally had enough and snapped at them that I was going
with or without them, I left them to clean up the supper I had made
and spent the rest of the night in the cavern making easy lunches to
take with us and double-checking the go bags Ryan and Tommy
always insisted we wear any time we left the fences. The bags have
pretty much everything a person could need to survive for three days
in them. After that, I set out the bag with the fireworks, holsters,
silenced handguns, and knives for the guys to carry. Everything is
ready to go so all I need to finish is topping off the four water bottles
that we will clip to our packs with fresh water and then head out.
By the time I’ve filled all the water bottles in the kitchen, all four of
the guys are waiting in the cavern for me. I zero in on Oliver.
“All that really needs to be done today is feed the chickens and
collect the eggs. You could …”
My suggestion is cut off when he pulls me into his arms and
kisses me hard. When he pulls back and lets me go I can’t
remember what I was going to say.
“That fear you have about losing the ones you love? You aren’t
the only one who has that fear, Kelsey. I need you to be careful and
come back to me.” He tells me softly, causing the breath to catch in
my lungs. I dive back at him and try and tell him with my lips how
much he means to me as well. Devin clearing his throat obnoxiously
has us breaking apart and with a final squeeze of his hands I turn to
the others and sniff back the emotions crowding my throat.
 “Okay, there’s a bag here for each of you as well as silenced
guns and knives. It’s best for us to try and use the knives on any
dead we encounter as even with silencers the guns will make noise
and draw others to us. But use them if you have to. Don’t take
unnecessary risks.”
Of course, it’s Devin who buts in with a snarky comment. “You do
know we lived out there from the start, right? We know how to
handle the dead, Princess.”
I ignore him and carry on. “It’s a two-hour walk to the quarry and it
will take us another half hour to get around it to the other side where
the cannons are. Linc, would you be okay carrying both your pack
and the bag with the fireworks?”
He grabs both bags and hefts them to check the weight and then
nods.
“Not a problem.”
I grab my pack and clip on the water bottle, settling it securely on
my back so it won’t get in the way of my guns or knife and once the
guys are ready, I shoot one last look Oliver’s way and then lead them
out.
When I close and lock the gate behind me I pull some of the ivy
that has broken away and try to arrange it so that the outline of the
gate isn’t so obvious. It’s not perfect but it’ll do for now.
Heading south, we move quietly but at a decent pace, following
natural breaks through the trees and using game trails where
possible. It’s nice to be out from behind the fences even if my head
is on a constant swivel searching for any zombies that might be
headed our way. The first half-hour goes smoothly with only three of
the dead approaching us and they are easily taken down by, of
course, the guys. Even though one staggered toward me from my
left, Devin still crowded me out of the way so he could take it down
with his knife. I thanked him silently by rolling my eyes and clutching
my crotch to show him how big I thought his balls were or just that
he’s a dick, whichever way he took it works for me. He hit back by
rubbing the bulge in the front of his pants and giving me a suggestive
look that had me turning away so he wouldn’t see the grin I couldn’t
stop.
I can see the break in the trees ahead and with every step toward
it, I feel my shoulders tighten. I knew we would have to pass by this
place but I pushed it to the back of my mind until now.
When we step from under the tree’s shadows and into the sun all
of our feet come to a stop at what lay ahead. I can feel their eyes on
me, questioning why I’ve stopped but my eyes are on Tara. She’s out
in the middle of the most beautiful, magical-looking meadow filled
with a riot of colored wildflowers. I swallow the thick knot of emotions
in my throat when I see the huge smile on her face as she places a
woven crown of flowers on her head and leans over to gather more.
She looks so happy, so peaceful out there and I can only pray that
my vision is true.
When a tear slips free and I sigh, Dev takes my hand and stands
beside me looking out at the meadow.
“She’s out there, isn’t she?” He asks softly, but I can’t say it so I
just tug free from him and turn away.
“We need to go around,” I croak out.
Linc and Grayson don’t ask why, they just turn and make their
way around the meadow to the trees on the other side. I’m grateful
they don’t press or ask because I can’t say the words and I can’t
bear for me or anyone else to walk through this sacred meadow
where I laid my best friend to rest. When we hit the other side and
the guys file back under the trees, I turn back once and lift a hand in
a small wave. Of course, my bestie just rolls her eyes at me, makes
the “You’re an idiot” face, and waves me away. I turn and leave her
there, knowing she will still be with me the next time she has an
opinion on what’s happening in my life.
The dead show up in more numbers over the next hour or so, the
closer we get to the quarry but never in numbers we can’t handle. It’s
harder for them to bunch up into groups here in the trees so at most
they come at us in a few pairs but mostly one at a time. I finally get
fed up with the way the guys keep crowding me out of the way so
they can take care of any that come on my side and let my knife fly
at a nasty obese zombie that keeps stepping on his rotting
intestines. My knife impales the zombie’s soft skull right in the middle
of its forehead, taking it down to the ground as Grayson was starting
to move in that direction.
Grayson flinches away and glares at me with a look as if to say
“What the fuck?” so I return the favor with a “Fuck off or you’re next”
look. He must get the point because he raises his hands and steps
back. I stomp past him and pull my knife while trying not to gag at
the putrid smell coming off the monster I took down and then keep
on walking. I simmer on it for a while and finally resign myself to the
knowledge that they are all going to keep trying to protect me and I
will be forced to make a point that I can take care of myself now and
again to get them to reel it in a bit.
Another ten more minutes of walking and I can start to hear the
faint noise of hundreds of moans. We hit the tree line and I step back
out into the sun and wait for the guys to join me. There’s a strip of
land covered in long grass that runs around twenty feet before the
ground gives out and a sheer drop straight down to the quarry that
we set up for our zombie trap. There is no dead lingering in the area
because they follow movement and sound and there’s plenty of that
in twenty feet. I feel comfortable talking out loud here so I point
across the quarry.
“Can you see the metal tower over there? That’s where the
cannons are.”
I drop my arm and move halfway to the edge so that part of the
water-filled bottom comes into view and shake my head at the mess
I see thrashing in the water. When Dev tries to step past me to get a
closer look I hold out my arm to stop him. “Don’t. Don’t get any
closer. The ground is starting to erode and chunks have been falling
in. It’s not safe to get any closer.
He nods in acknowledgment and then cranes his neck to get a
better look and lets out a low whistle of appreciation. “Fuck me, there
has to be at least a thousand deadheads down there!”
 I shrug. “Probably more than that. The ones on top keep getting
pushed down as more fall in. I wouldn’t be surprised if the layers of
dead go all the way to the bottom.”
I turn away not wanting to look anymore. Every time I’m out here I
can’t help but wonder if Ryan, Tommy, and Lisa are somewhere in
that mess. I nudge Dev and the others to pull their attention away
from the boiling zombie soup pot and point out where we need to go.
“We have to circle out far enough to avoid the parts of the quarry
that have trees growing right up to the edge. The other side is like
here with a strip of bare land and the tower is set back about ten feet
from the edge. We think it used to have a crane on it but whatever
this place was used for it was closed down long before the dead
came back to life. It shouldn’t take us more than a half-hour or so to
make it around so let’s go.”
We only encounter one zombie on our way and it’s so intent on
finding where the noise is coming from that we just stand perfectly
still and it walks right past us without even looking our way. When we
break out of the trees again on the other side, Linc hands Grayson
the bag of fireworks causing me to frown and reach for it.
“I’ll do it. You can go up with me and I will show you what needs
to be done.”
Grayson holds the bag back away from me and drops a hand on
my shoulder to keep me in place.
“There is no doubt in any of our minds just how capable you are.
We know you can handle the dead and do anything we could do,
probably better. But for the love of cheese, Kells, can you please just
let us try and take care of you a little bit? I promise when we get
back you can throw all of us around to show us how good you are. I’ll
even hold Dev so you can take a few shots at him but for now, can
you please let me climb this rickety, ancient, rusted-out tower and do
the one thing I’m good at? Tommy left detailed notes on how this
setup works. I’m not just going to reload the cannons, I’m going to
clear and check the solar panels and check all the connections to the
receiver to make sure nothing needs to be switched out. So can you
please let me do it?”
 My hand drops from reaching for the bag but I step in and plant a
quick kiss on his mouth.
“Leave me your pack and I’ll top up your water while you get the
job done. Also, be careful.”
He shrugs off his pack and hands it to me with a grin, “Always
am, babe.”
I turn my back and get busy filling our bottles from the larger ones
I packed in each go-bag, unable to watch as he climbs up the rusty
rungs. I’m swallowing a little bit of crow here as the way the guys
want to protect me hits home, mirroring my own desire to keep them
safe. I work on filling up Linc and Devin’s bottles too as Dev watches
the trees for any incoming dead and Linc watches Grayson doing the
job we came here to do.
By the time I’ve topped off everyone’s water and forced myself to
turn and look, Grayson’s climbing back down with an empty bag over
his shoulder. I let out a sigh of relief just as Dev calls out.
“Guys! A little help here, please!”
I spin back and see the largest group of zombies we’ve
encountered yet stagger out of the tree line. A quick scan has me
coming up with at least a dozen. I’m moving before I even finish
counting to the group that’s bunched up the most and cringe when I
hear Devin and Linc both call out my name in warning.
I don’t spare them a glance but I do snap out, “Focus!
Distractions will get you killed!”
I spin and kick out at the ragged woman leading this pack and
nail her right in the solar plexus sending her flying back and taking
two of her followers down to the ground in a tangle of limbs. There’s
three more coming in right behind them and that’s too many for knife
work so I pull my gun and fire five shots, taking them all out. At this
close range, it’s almost impossible to miss. I turn to take out the next
few that are stepping out of the trees and almost stumble when I see
all three of the guys moving toward me instead of dealing with the
dead that are heading their way.
 “Argh! What the fuck are you doing?” I yell at them and it seems
to break them out of the stupid trance they’ve fallen into. Fucking
hell, the zombies won’t have to kill them because I’m going to! I’m so
pissed off that I just let loose and shoot every fucking zombie that’s
left the tree line, switching out guns to finish off the last few that the
guys should already have taken out before stomping over to meet
them as I reload on the fly.
“What the actual fuck! I never should have brought you out here
with me. Yes, you all are big strong men and you want to take care of
me and protect me and I get that, but seriously? Fucking seriously?
Get your shit together because out here you can’t let me become a
distraction. Distractions get you dead. Rule number four,
motherfuckers!” I reach down and snatch my pack and sling it on my
back, fighting back fury-filled tears of frustration. “I can’t be
responsible for that. If one of you gets bit, I can’t put a bullet through
someone’s head ag … Fuck! Grab your packs and let’s go. We’re
going home.” I finish weakly and leave them standing there, shocked
by my tirade.
I crash through the trees at a stupid, reckless pace but even then
I’m constantly scanning for threats. The way they were looking at
me? The fear and panic I saw in their eyes as the dead approached
was too familiar. I know they were scared for me and not for
themselves but still, it was too much of a déjà vu for me and I lost my
shit. Now I’m mad and embarrassed and it’s not a great combination
for me. When I hear footfalls coming up behind me fast, I know it’s
them and not the dead but I’m not stupid so I take a quick glance
back just to be sure and immediately see a furious Dev hot on my
heels. I turn my head away and fume. He can be as mad at me as
he wants. I wasn’t the dumbass standing there staring at a girl
instead of killing the fucking zombies that wanted to eat his fucking
face.
I keep up the fast pace - only slowing once in an open area with
good lines of sight so I can swing my pack around and dig out the
sandwich I made for lunch and then speed up again to eat on the go.
I want to be home and for this day to be done. When we get back to
the meadow of wildflowers, I turn to walk around it without pausing
this time. Tara steps up beside me and walks with me, still wearing
her crown of flowers.
“You know they just want to keep you safe, Kells.”
I hiss out at her, “They could have been bit or killed. Then I’d be
back to holding a gun to someone’s forehead. I can’t do that again.
I’m not the one who needs to be kept safe.”
She threads her arm through mine as we walk. “You have to let
that go. You’re never going to heal until you move on and forgive
me.”
I shake my head but don’t respond so she sighs and waves
toward the meadow. “You know I’m not in there and you know I’m not
really here either. You have to let me go, babes.”
I swallow back the angry tears that threaten and grind out, “I’ll get
right on that.”
And then I’m stepping back into the trees and she leaves me
once again.
 OLIVER

nxiety has been my nemesis for as long as I can remember. A

A childhood full of abuse had me paralyzed by it and it took
countless state psychologists assigned to me once I was in foster
care to teach me how to master it and take control of my emotions.
Through a lot of hard work I managed to rewire my brain to think in
straight clean lines that I can control. When the dead rose, a few of
those straight lines zigged and zagged but I was able to straighten
them with the help of my brothers and a solid plan on how to move
forward. But now, one amazing woman has taken all the lines in my
brain and turned them into a mass of tangled, knotted noodles that I
struggle to redirect into a semblance of order I’ve never been in love
before but I think this is what love is. Messy, tangled emotions that
turn you into knots and make every emotion amplified. I hate it and I
never want it to end.
Drawing the short stick was beyond hard for me to accept. To
stay behind while the woman I love and the men I call family go out
into the dangerous world we barely managed to survive has created
jagged peaks and valleys in my lines that I’ve had to work on all day
to smooth out. Every calming and refocusing tool I’ve ever been
taught has been used to manage it but I still can’t stand to be idle.
I’ve walked the perimeter four times already since they left, going
faster each time. A thorough visual inventory of the hidden
storeroom didn’t take up nearly enough time and neither did the
inventory of the massive motorhome. Even after trying to keep busy
with the few chores that needed to be done and multiple failed
attempts at playing different video games, I’m still a twitchy mess.
 This relationship I’m trying to build with Kelsey will be hurdle after
hurdle for me to manage. I want to hold her close to me and never
let her out of my sight. I ache to soothe the deep pain I know she
carries inside and help fill the cracks that run through her strength
with my love. I want her so badly, mind, body, and heart but I also
know that there’s a danger of smothering her in my quest to have
her. I saw that plainly over the last two days as Dev tried to limit the
dangers of our world by holding her back. She lashed out and
pushed for the space to still be the strong survivor this world has
turned her into. She’s so capable in so many ways and we will all
have to try hard not to become overbearing and controlling of her in
our desire to keep her safe.
None of that knowledge helps the anxiety and stress I’m feeling
and will keep feeling until I see her and the others safe, back behind
our fences. I need something to focus on, something challenging to
redirect my brain so I can find a small amount of peace until that
happens. I end up in the cavern kitchen and gather all the
ingredients to make the one dish that I excel at, gyoza - Japanese
pork dumplings. I was taught to make this dish by my third set of
foster parents. Kenji and Hina Ito took me in when I was twelve
years old and completely changed my life for the two years I lived
with them. I had never been in a home that was so calm, steady, and
quiet before. Their constant support and encouragement eased the
chaos that filled my mind.
Kenji’s love of math and numbers showed me a way to order my
thoughts and feelings by focusing on numbers and angles as a
calming tool. Hina was an accomplished chef and she taught me the
power of five and many of the Zen teachings. Preparing complicated
meals with Hina that required the use of the five senses, taste, smell,
touch, sight and hearing was another way for me to center and
balance.
Those two years with the Ito’s did more to influence my life than
all the years of abuse I suffered under my biological parents. When
Kenji died tragically in a car accident, Hina chose to return to Japan
to be with their grown children and grandchildren. I was almost
fifteen by then so the state chose to place me in a group home
instead of with another family. That group home was where I met
Dev, Gray, and Linc.
I close my eyes, breathe deeply and begin. I had picked a baby
cabbage on my last circuit of the perimeter and took out some of the
frozen wild hog from the freezer to thaw. As I mix and roll out the
dough for the wrappers, I speak five phrases said in some Zen
temples before they eat.
“I reflect on the work that brings this food before me; let me see
whence this food comes. I reflect on my imperfections, on whether I
am deserving of this offering of food. Let me hold my mind free from
preferences and greed. I take this food as an effective medicine to
keep my body in good health. I accept this food so that I will fulfill my
task of enlightenment.”
My breathing deepens as I focus on my senses. I feel the soft
dough with my fingers as I work it into shape. I smell the minced
pork, cabbage, and spices of the filling as it cooks. My sight is
pleased by the unique shape of the pinched edges of the completed
dumplings. I hear the sizzle of the food cooking and I taste the burst
of flavors as I sample one of the finished gyoza.
When I step back from the tray of gyoza that will only need to be
reheated for supper when the others return later, I am calm,
centered, and grounded. I accept that I cannot change whatever
might happen to the people I love while they are outside the fences. I
will trust that Kelsey can and will take care of her own safety even as
I try and protect her in any small way she will allow and I will feed my
family the meal I prepared for them when they return. I place the tray
of gyoza into the fridge just as my phone alarm goes off with an alert
that one of the gates has been opened. I close my eyes and say a
small prayer of gratitude and then smooth out my expression to go
and greet them.
Kelsey comes into view first. She’s still too far away for me to see
her face but that gorgeous hair of hers shines like a beacon under
the mid-afternoon sun and my heart lurches in my chest to see her
back safe and sound. I stand and wait tensely until I count three
more figures coming into view behind her and slowly let my muscles
relax. By the time she’s twenty feet away, I can see something’s
wrong. There’s no smile for me on her face but a deep frown instead.
I scan her body for injury but all I see is a sweat-soaked shirt and
damp hair clinging to her face and neck.
Just as she steps onto the patio, Dev speeds up and calls out,
“Damn it, Kelsey, just stop and listen for a minute!”
Gray adds his own voice, “Come on, Kells, let us explain!”
Only Linc stays quiet but I can see a dark look on his face as
Kelsey spins around to face them, standing now only a few feet from
me.
“You’re going to want to back off and give me some fucking space
right now.” She growls out, throws her hand up in a stop motion, and
then turns back to me with fire in her eyes.
I step back with a small nod and the flames cool and her face
softens.
“Not you, Oliver, just them.” She swipes an arm across her
sweaty forehead with a sigh so I reach for her pack and help her
unload it.
“How about a cool shower and a cold drink?” I offer and I finally
get the smile I’ve been waiting for.
“How about you join me for both?” She tosses back and then
blushes and darts her eyes away from mine.
There’s my girl. I reach for her hand and tug her toward the
middle camper. If this is going to be my first time with her then I want
privacy and if she wants to vent about whatever’s pissed her off, she
should get to do it without the others listening in. I hold open the door
and as she climbs up and disappears into the camper as I look back
at the guys with my eyebrows raised in question. Dev looks like he’s
chewing on nails. Gray’s face is filled with frustration and Linc’s has
shifted to resigned.
Linc gives me a curt nod and says quietly, “We fucked up. She
has a right to be angry.”
 I watch as Dev bites back a curse and stomps off to Kelsey’s
camper with Gray slowly following him and then turn back to Linc,
who scrubs at the scruff on his jaw.
“She’s … she’s an amazing fighter and we were idiots. We tried
so hard to keep her away from the dead instead of killing the dead.
Things could have gone badly if she wasn’t as good as she is at
handling herself out there.” He steps closer and lowers his voice
even more. “I think she had to kill her friend, O. I think Tara got bit
and Kelsey had to put her down. That’s what broke her more than
being alone for so long.”
I track back to all the little things she’s said or not said but alluded
to and come to the same conclusion. I finally nod at him.
“Go grab a shower and work on Dev. If he keeps his shit up, he’ll
push her away completely.”
I leave him to it and shut the door, turning to climb the three steps
up to the washroom and bedroom level. Kelsey’s left the bathroom
door open and when I spot the pile of clothing on the floor my mouth
goes dry. I can see her silhouette through the frosted shower door
and hear the water spraying as I stand just inside the small room. I
want nothing more than to strip off and join her but nerves get the
better of me and I stand hesitating. I’ve taken the lead with her
during every encounter and now that I finally might get my hands on
her beautiful body, I want, no I need her to make it clear that it’s what
she wants.
The shower door pops open and swings wide and there she is -
all smooth wet skin and delicious curves that have my fingers itching
to touch and feel. She turns my way, giving me a full-frontal view of
her naked body and a harsh breath slips out at just how sexy this
woman is.
“Are you … will you join me?” She asks in a hesitant voice and I
can hear the same nerves I’m feeling in her tone so I will my feet to
stay still instead of lunging forward.
“Are you sure? Are you sure you want … me?” I leave off the part
where I ask if she’s just mad at the others and wants to pay them
back by having sex with me but she must pick up on it because she
frowns and shakes her head, steps out of the shower and reaches
for my shirt to pull it up over my head.
“I want you, Oliver. I want your mouth on mine. I want your hands
moving over every part of me. I want everything about you. Please,
Oliver, be with me?”
When her fingers reach for my belt I can’t wait any longer and my
fingers slide into her wet hair and angle her head so my mouth can
seal over hers. The small moan she lets out has me kicking off my
pants and boxers and backing her into the shower until we are both
under the water. I could kiss her for the rest of my life and never
grow tired of it but there’s so much more I want to touch and taste. I
push her against the wall and run my mouth down the column of her
neck and further until I can reach her breasts. They’re perfect, just
like the rest of her, and I can’t help but take my time, cupping them,
kissing all around the heavy weight of them before finally letting my
tongue circle the sweet little pink buds that are her nipples. Every
swipe and lick of my tongue and the moans she makes has the
tangled, knotted lines in my head smoothing out. This is exactly right.
This is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m meant to be doing.
She arches against me when I suck and bite gently on her nipples
as she pants her need and her fingers slide over my shoulders and
dig in even as her hips lift, searching for contact. When she says my
name as a plea, my knees hit the shower floor and my hands sweep
up the back of her thighs to her ass so I can pull her sexy, bare
mound to my mouth. All I want is to dive deep inside her folds and
explore but I want this to last for her so I squeeze her thighs tightly
closed with my arms, only allowing the tip of my tongue to part her
slit. Tiny little licks that barely penetrate the lips around her clit have
her bucking against me, trying to force my tongue deeper but I hold
her thighs tighter and continue the shallow strokes of my tongue until
she’s quivering. Only then do I push in further and lengthen my
strokes, still keeping her thighs clamped together. I want her to feel
every part of my tongue against her sensitive flesh so that every
movement strokes her higher.
 Kelsey’s fingers grip the back of my head hard so she can try and
grind herself against my mouth and the last of my control slips away
as I release her thighs so I can spread them for better access. I lift
one of her legs to hang over my shoulder, opening her up completely
to me. She’s so wet and ready that two of my fingers slide easily up
inside her and she pumps her hips against them, wanting more. I
can’t get enough of the taste and feel of her so as I curl my fingers
inside her and thrust against her velvety walls my tongue sweeps
through every part of her pussy, finally settling on the swollen bundle
of nerves that she is practically begging me to touch.
“Yes! Fuck yes! There … don’t stop! Please … more! You’re going
to make me cum!”
My lips suck and my tongue circles and flicks as my fingers never
stop thrusting in and out of her. I feel the first flutters of her climax
building and the way her channel squeezes around my fingers has
my rock hard, throbbing cock jerking in jealousy. I want her to come
apart on my mouth desperately so I flatten my tongue and hit her clit
with rapid, firm, relentless licks until she screams my name and
clamps down on my fingers as the orgasm rocks through her. I
soften my tongue to gentle sweeps, staying away from the most
sensitive area until she relaxes and pulls at my shoulders to get me
to stand. Her fingers guide my face to hers and she kisses me
slowly, deeply. When she finally breaks the kiss, her eyes are still full
of need and she reverses us in the small shower so my back is to
the wall. She turns the water from cool to warm and then smiles up
at me.
“My turn.”
 KELSEY

ll thoughts of the anger I came home with are gone as the warm
A water pours against my back and my body glows and hums with
the pleasure Oliver has just given me. My pussy aches to feel his
hardness slide into it but waiting will only make it that much sweeter.
I want my turn, touching and tasting this hot, sexy man and I also
want to see if I can break a little of his tightly held control too. He’s
always so careful with me, so gentle. I want to see the edges of him
as I drive him wild. His mouth just made me come undone and I want
to give him the same pleasure in return so I follow the trail he did and
go up on my toes so I can suck, kiss, and lick his strong neck. Down
to his firm chest, I find his small hard nipples and swirl around them
before nipping at them with my teeth. His hands sweep up and down
my back as his hard shaft presses against my stomach. I go lower
and lick down the cut between his abs and hip that’s the perfect
pathway to where I want to be as I slide to my knees in front of him.
When I look up to meet his eyes with his cock inches from my
mouth I see a look of worship directed back at me so it’s only fair
that I worship him in return. My tongue darts out and licks the drop of
pre-cum beading on the head of his cock, causing him to make a
choked sound. I use my lips to slide down the thick length of him,
licking as I go until I get to the base and then work my way back up
until I can slide his head in between my lips. I swirl my tongue
around his head and then take him in a little deeper. Oliver’s fingers
thread into my hair and hold my head gently but I want him to lose
control so I peek up at him through my lashes and let him look at me,
kneeling in front of him with the tip of his cock in my mouth. Abruptly,
I change direction and take him fully into my mouth, all the way down
- and swallow against him. That’s when he groans loudly and his
fingers fist my hair. I keep a slow, deep rhythm as I suck and lick his
cock, always taking him as far as my throat will allow. It’s on the fifth
stroke of my mouth that his hips rock forward, causing a thrill to go
through me. I start to move faster and then so do his hips as he
anchors my head and begins fucking my mouth. I can hear his heavy
pants with each thrust and his fingers tighten in my hair as he gets
closer to exploding.
I’m so turned on and wet from the way he’s responding to me, the
way I’m making him lose control that heat is filling me and I can’t
help but moan around his cock in desire. The sound is like a
lightning bolt going through him and he moves so fast it leaves me
dizzy. He pulls himself from between my lips and slides me back on
the wet floor to make room. I let him take over again as he sinks to
his knees and leans back, lifting me over his lap at the same time so
I’m straddling him and with one hard thrust slams deep inside of me.
A gasping, unintelligible sound like something from a wild animal is
yanked from my mouth as he braces one hand against the wall
behind me and another anchors me in his lap as he pistons up into
my body.
His dark eyes blaze with intensity and his jaw is locked hard when
he growls out, “I need to feel you come on my cock. I need you to
squeeze around me when I fill you. I need you to come with me,
baby.”
I can already feel it building fast with each hard stroke so I thrash
my head in a nod because I can’t speak past the moans spilling from
me. The angle he’s fucking me has his cock hitting that perfect spot
inside. The climax slams through me so hard I’m digging my nails
into his shoulders just to stay upright as stars explode across my
vision and wave after wave rocks me even as I feel Oliver’s thrusts
turn jerky and then I feel him spilling into me as he roars my name.
He holds me tight against him and I feel his mouth dropping
kisses against my hair. When he pushes me away so he can look
into my eyes, my breath catches in my throat and my heart just tips
all the way over into love. His thumb rubs against my bottom lip and
his voice is thick when he speaks.
“You’re everything. I love you, Kelsey.”
Emotions fill me completely as I rest my forehead against his and
whisper, “I love you too. I love you, Oliver.”
We eventually get off the floor and even though the water has
turned cool again, we soap each other up, taking our time to explore
each other’s bodies even more. The water tank finally empties so we
shut it off and dry each other with towels before climbing into the
queen size bed to make love again. This time though it’s slow and
sweet as we take our time, savoring each other. Satisfied, we both
drift off with our arms around each other.
We stay there alone for the rest of the day and overnight, Oliver
ran out once to bring me a change of clean clothes and a plate
heaping with the most delicious pork dumplings. He shocks me by
telling me he made them from scratch and as we feast, he tells me
about his childhood and the struggles he overcame to be the man he
is today. The more I learn about Oliver, the more I fall in love with
him.
With our bellies full, we snuggle down under the comforter and I
share my childhood story of living with a single mom who was drunk
more than sober and who liked to blame me for all her failures in life.
I tell him about the science teacher who pushed me to do better,
work harder, and who spent hours helping me fill out scholarship
applications to make sure my education would be funded all the way
through. The only thing I don’t tell him about is Tara and how she
and her parents offered me a safe, supportive home to come home
to on all school holidays. This time with Oliver is magical and for a
little while, I don’t want to think about my best friend and how it all
ended.
I sleep deeply that night safe in his arms and for once the
nightmares that plague me stay away. He wakes me with a cup of
coffee and a kiss the next morning and I stretch lazily, feeling all the
yummy aches in all the right places as he smiles down at me
indulgently even while shaking his head.
 “You’re going to have to talk to the others, you know.”
I give him my best pout and snuggle deeper under the covers.
“Kelsey, they know they screwed up. At least let them apologize.”
I huff out a breath and shove the covers down so I can get up and
accept the coffee he holds out for me. After a few hearty swallows, I
hand it back and start getting dressed, strapping on my holsters and
knife so I can take them back to the cavern later.
“Fine, but we seriously need to come to an understanding about
this macho man, protect the little lady bullshit because it’s just not
going to work for me … at all.” I glare, causing him to throw his
hands up in defense.
“Woah! Save your bullets for the real targets.” He sighs and pulls
me back down to sit on the side of the bed and takes one of my
hands in his. “I’m not going to promise that I won’t worry about you
every time you are outside these fences but I will promise to have
faith in your skills to take care of yourself. I won’t try and keep you
locked up even though my macho man alter ego demands that I do.”
He brings our joined hands up and kisses my fingers. “Love can
make a man crazy, baby. Try and remember that when we crowd you
too close. You have to know I’m not the only one who feels this way
about you, right?”
I duck my head and feel the last of my anger start to fade away.
Love can make you crazy and losing it can make you even more so.
I’m living proof of that.
We walk hand and hand across the patio to where the other three
are hanging out on the couches. It’s overcast today and the wind is
blowing, keeping the temperature down to a reasonable level. The
gloomy day suits the expression on Linc and Grayson’s faces.
Devin’s keeping with his standard pissed-off look. I sit down across
from them and Oliver takes my empty mug inside, hopefully to refill
it. I chew on my lip as I scan their faces but when none of them says
anything, I sigh.
“I’m sorry I flipped out on you guys yesterday. Um, I … I love that
you all want to protect me and keep me safe. I really do. But we
need to um, come to a compromise on how that works. If this … this
thing that’s happening between us is going to work, then I need you
all to trust me. I survived alone for a long time before you all got
here. You’ve all seen that I can handle myself against the dead. I
don’t need to be sheltered from them.” I sigh again and shake my
head. “The reason I got so mad yesterday was not because you
wanted to protect me but because you put yourselves at risk to do it.
That doesn’t help me. If you, any of you, get bit or die because you
were distracted by keeping me safe … I can’t live with that. It … That
would destroy me. So please, work with me on this, not against me.”
Linc leans across the space between us and takes my hand. “We
screwed up. We all know you can fight, Kells, but seeing that many
dead at once near you, well, it messed with our heads and made us
stop thinking about anything other than getting to you to keep you
safe.” His beautiful, strong face crumples for a second and then firms
back up as he pulls me from my seat and into his lap where he
buries his face in my hair. “I love you. I’m in love with you and the
thought of losing you so soon after I found you made me freeze.” He
holds me away from him so he can cup my face. “I’m not going to
apologize for wanting to keep you safe and to protect you. I will try
harder to not let it consume me to the point of distraction and danger
again, though.”
I lean in and brush my lips across his. “Thank you, Linc.” I pull
back and breathe out, “I’m in love with you too.” He crushes me
against his broad chest and holds me tightly until Grayson pulls me
across the couch to be wrapped up in his arms. His mouth slams
down on mine and the kiss is a soul-scorching testament of just how
strongly he feels about me. When he finally breaks it I’m breathless.
“Kells, I never thought I would have a chance to find someone like
you, to love someone the way I’ve fallen in love with you. I agree
with Linc. I’ll work on being not so overbearing but you just have to
know that the thought of losing this, of losing you … The four of us
might have been together since this all started but we were alone
too. You filled our broken cracks, Kells. I don’t want to keep living this
life without you in it.”
 I close my eyes as love swamps me and feel a few more of my
own cracks start to fill in as I wrap my arms around his neck.
“I promise to do my very best not to let that happen. I love you,
Grayson.”
We sit quietly holding on to each other until Oliver sets a fresh
mug of coffee on the low table in front of us. Just as I start to reach
for it, Devin pushes to his feet. I can’t read what he’s thinking from
the expression on his face but his words are clipped and abrupt.
“Right, you’re a super badass ninja and I promise not to get in
your way as you take on all the dead single-handedly. Oh, and we
don’t want you to die and you don’t want us to die. Got it. Good talk!”
He says sarcastically with a touch of bitterness and then walks away,
leaving me open-mouthed in shocked surprise at his callousness.
“Dev! What the fuck, man?” Grayson spits out as Linc gets to his
feet to go after him but Oliver waves him back down as he stares at
his friend's back in a disappointed way.
“Leave him. You won’t get through to him when he’s like this.” He
turns and looks at me and nods. “That was about more than you
know. I’m sorry I can’t tell you. It’s not my story to tell. All I can say is
that after the dead rose Dev went through something pretty dark and
traumatic before we found him. He’s got a steel wall wrapped around
him to hold it all at bay.” He picks up my coffee and hands it to me
with a sad expression. “If anyone can break through it, it’ll be you,
Kelsey. Don’t give up on him, please.”
I take the coffee but my eyes go back to Devin’s retreating back
as he disappears deeper into the gardens.
 DEVIN

need to walk off the simmering anger that lives inside me before it
I bubbles over and scalds everyone around me. I want her so
fucking bad it’s a constant ache but smashing two broken people
together will not make a whole one. It’s not just about protecting her,
it’s about protecting me too. Kelsey’s so wrapped up in what
happened with her friend and how she can’t have another person
she cares about die on her that she never once thinks about what it
would do to us if she’s the one to die. How am I supposed to let
myself love someone the way I’m falling for her if I can’t trust her to
stay alive. How am I supposed to live with her ghost haunting me the
way Tara haunts her. I already have too many ghosts surrounding
me as it is.
She carries Tara with her like a security blanket. I know she sees
and talks to her. What if she never lets her go? What if one day it just
becomes too much and Kelsey finally decides to give up and be with
her best friend? That whole thing about shooting someone in the
head? I know she had to do that to her friend. Something went
wrong and maybe she blames herself for it but Tara got bit and
Kelsey had to put her down when she turned. I just know it, just like
I’m almost positive at some point during her time alone, Kelsey held
a gun to her own head to try and join her. I know because I did the
same damn thing after … after.
So how can I trust her with my heart if she’s still holding on so
tight to Tara and might one day follow through to be with her? Even
worse, how do I let her love me if I might finally give in and end it all
to lay my own ghosts to rest? I shouldn’t even be here. I should
never have survived those first few days when I couldn’t save all the
ones I was responsible for.
I climb up onto one of the guard platforms and sit for hours
looking out at the forest, looking for answers, looking for a way
forward with her but I can’t stop circling around my damage and hers
as the wind whips at my hair. I finally stand and stretch the stiffness
from sitting in one spot for so long and spot her cherry hair further
down the fence line as she moves in and out of the swaying corn. I
clench my fists at how frustrating it is to want someone so badly.
There’s so much I love about this woman but I don’t know how to
break free from our baggage so I can finally have her. I’m so close to
just caving in and letting the cards fall where they will so I can snatch
a tiny slice of the happy pie she and my brothers are making. Isn’t
some happiness better than having none at all?
Before I have a chance to make that leap the alarm on my phone
goes off and I pull it from my back pocket and thumb open the
security app. It shows me the pressure sensors have been triggered
on a section a few hundred feet past where I last saw Kelsey. I lift my
eyes from the phone and sure enough, she’s already out of the corn
and jogging that way. Jogging toward danger without even trying to
wait for one of us to back her up. I grind my teeth and quickly flip the
wooden box open, pull out a knife and one of the silenced handguns
and slide down the ladder and start running. I bite out a curse when I
see her disappear through one of the gates in the distance and pick
up the pace. I don’t give a shit how good a fighter she is. It’s just
fucking reckless to go out there without someone watching her back.
The closer I get to the gate she went through the easier it is for
me to hear the sounds of at least two zombies moaning as they call
their friends to the party. I also start picking up the sound of
something flapping. It kind of sounds like a flag snapping in the wind
except it’s making a more crinkly noise. I’m steps away from the gate
when I spot my brothers running in my direction but they’re still a
good distance away so I don’t wait, not while she’s out there alone. I
yank open the gate and step through, expecting Kelsey to be
somewhere close by taking out the dead through the outer fence but
all I see is empty space as the long grass sways undisturbed. Fuck!
She’s gone through the outside fence! I race down in between the
fences until I find the outline of an exterior gate where the ivy has
been torn away, rip it open, and step out.
I spot her right away about twenty feet to my left. There are three
bodies at her feet as she stretches up against the fence to pull a
white plastic garbage bag that’s snagged on it, flapping and
snapping in the wind. It’s exactly the kind of movement and noise
that would attract the dead. She manages to snag it and pull it off
and I watch her turn away from the fence in my direction and as she
stuffs the balled-up bag in her pocket her eyes meet mine. I want to
throttle her. I want to throw her over my knee and spank her luscious
ass until she promises she won’t ever put herself in danger again but
I know she won’t agree to that so I say nothing and just glare as I
wait for her to come back inside. I see her set her shoulders and her
lips press together like she’s holding herself back too but then I feel
all the blood drain from my face when a large, grey, clawed hand
clamps down on her shoulder.
I’m frozen to the spot unable to move or call out as my worst fear
blooms right in front of my eyes. She moves so fast I have to blink to
keep up as her hand comes up and grabs the zombie’s hand on her
shoulder. She twists to the side and juts her hip toward it and flips it
over to land on its back in front of her on the ground. One quick
swipe has her knife sliding out of its sheath and then she stabs -
burying it to the hilt in the monster’s eye and deep into its brain. She
stands back up, glances behind her to check for more and then
strolls over past me through the gate. Without pausing, almost as if it
was an afterthought – she tosses over her shoulder, “Make sure you
lock this back up.”
When she moves further away, I let the breath I’ve been holding
gush out of me in a harsh exhale. I grab my head with both hands
and squeeze to try and silence the loud pounding of my heart that’s
throbbing through it and then slowly step back through the gate and
secure the lock.
 KELSEY

Hey! What was it? Are you okay?” Linc asks as he, Oliver, and
“ Grayson slow their sprint towards me.
I pull out the plastic bag and hold it up so they can see.
“It got caught on the top of the fence and was flapping in the
wind. Perfect zombie attraction. I had to put a few down but it wasn’t
a big deal.” I tell them.
“Nope, no big deal at all for someone with a death wish. Skated
through again but don’t worry, Princess, I’m sure your men will
mourn long and hard when you finally get your wish.” Dev spits
harshly at me as he passes me without a glance and heads back
toward the campers.
I swear my hand only drops to my holstered gun to check and
make sure it's secured and not because I’m tempted to shoot him in
the ass that his head is so clearly stuck up. I grind my teeth at his
back but Oliver’s hard tone has me snapping my head toward him.
“You went out there alone?”
I roll my eyes. “I was perfectly fine! Dev’s just being an ass.”
“Did you go out there alone?” He asks again with a little bit more
force. I slide my gaze away from his and chew on my lip as I see
Linc and Grayson’s expressions harden.
“We have to trust you to make good decisions and take care of
yourself but you don’t have to take the basic precaution of waiting
literally one minute so someone can go with you to watch your back?
Is that how this is going to work?”
 Oliver waits me out but now I’m feeling like an idiot because he’s
right. I’m a hypocrite. I didn’t even stop to think about waiting for any
of them.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have waited.” I say in a small
embarrassed voice.
Linc steps up and brushes some of the hair from my face. “Kells,
if you don’t want us to cage you in, don’t give us a reason to feel like
we need to. Okay?”
I give a tiny nod and look to all three of them and say, “I don’t
have a death wish.”
The three of them pull me into a group hug and then set me back
but it’s Oliver that pins me with a look that has me dropping my eyes.
“If that’s true, then you need to go tell him that. You need to sort
this with him, Kelsey, or it’s just going to get worse between you
two.”
I groan in frustration. “Ugh, couldn’t you guys just ground me or
punish me in some way instead?”
I meant it as a joke but Gray’s and Linc’s expressions shift to
heated and hungry, causing me to try and step back and I almost trip
over my own feet. Oliver steadies me with a hand that slides down
my body and cups my ass, making me jerk. His eyes travel down my
body and I feel an answering pulse in my core when his tone
deepens.
“Let’s do both. You deal with Dev and we’ll reward you by
punishing you in a way that will make you lose your mind in
pleasure.”
The three of them crowd even closer to me and Grayson tugs on
a piece of my hair. “Three mouths on your body, Kells.”
I swallow hard as my pussy dampens.
“Three times the pleasure,” Linc promises as he runs one of his
large fingers down my chest, in between my breasts.
 My breathing is jagged as I stumble away from them and stutter,
“I … I’ll … me talk Dev now.” I almost face plant over some potato
plants when I throw one last look over my shoulder at them and spot
the hard prominent bulges in their pants. Fuck me, these men have
turned me into a thirsty, thirsty, bitch!
I hurry to catch up with Dev, pushing all thoughts of sex from my
mind. Oliver’s right. We need to sort this out somehow or we will
constantly be butting heads. I just wish I knew why he has to be such
an asshole to me. I never did anything to him to make him be so
harsh with me all the time. The others shared their concerns with me
in a calm way so why does he get to talk to me the way he does. It’s
one thing when he’s just taunting me in a casual fun-ish way but an
altogether different thing for him to be such a jerk when he’s serious.
I don’t deserve it and I’m fucking done with it!
By the time I catch up to him I’m back to steaming mad and I
shoulder check him from behind.
“Cavern, right now!” I bark at him.
He snaps out a harsh laugh and changes directions, matching my
pace.
“This should be good. Are you going to give me another piece of
your mind, Princess? Bitch slap me for daring to worry about you?”
I grind my teeth to keep the nasty retort in my mouth until we walk
into the cavern and then keep going to the gym. It might be best to
have this out in a soundproofed room. When he slams the door
behind us I whirl on him.
“I should have waited before I went out. I’m sorry.”
He jerks back not expecting that but then goes right back to
glaring at me.
“Good! You should be fucking sorry but I highly doubt it will be the
last time you do something reckless.”
I let out a strangled cry of frustration. He can’t even accept a
damn apology without being a dick. I stomp right up to him and yell,
“You are such a fucking asshole!”
 He smirks and then jerks me against him and fists my hair to drag
my head back. His mouth is less than an inch from mine and I see
the fury in his eyes that matches mine as he grits out, “Never said I
wasn’t.”
And then our mouths crash and we kiss like savages. Hot and
brutal is a fucking understatement as our tongues duel against each
other and our lips mash so hard our teeth clash but neither of us
gives an inch as we pour all the anger, fear, and desperation into
each other. Our hands rip at our clothes until his hot skin is against
mine and his mouth slides away to suck and bite at my neck.
“I don’t have a death wish!” I rage at him even as my hands slide
down his body pawing at every hard ridge of him.
He does that hard laugh again as he moves lower to my breast.
“You can’t hide from me. Like recognizes like, Princess. Now shut
up.”
Two hard fingers slide deep inside me just as he bites down on
my nipple. That’s all it takes for me to cum and I buck hard against
his hand as he laughs. I’m still being rocked by the sudden orgasm
when he takes me to the wall and pins me to it. My legs go around
his waist and he’s thrusting up inside of me. His cock is thicker than
the others and it stretches me with a bite of pain that just adds to the
waves of pleasure that are picking up again with every hard stroke.
As he pounds me against the wall I rock my hips to meet his
every thrust. His teeth are bared and his hard fingers dig into my
hips enough that I know I’ll have bruises tomorrow and it just makes
me want to take him deeper inside me. I claw my nails into his back
as the second wave of climax overtakes me and as my pussy
clamps down on his cock in spasms I let my head fall back against
the wall. His head falls forward and he leans back enough that he
can look down at his cock sliding into me so I arch my back harder
on his next thrust and feel him jerk and push deeper as his cock
explodes inside me.
We’re both breathing hard and he keeps me pinned against the
wall for a few minutes but when my head clears enough for me to
think again, I shove against his chest and he lets my legs drop back
down to the floor. His hands hit the wall, caging me in as he stares
into my eyes. I can see some of the fury has left them but when he
smirks in amusement, I feel mine ratchet back up. Dev pushes away
from the wall with a cocky nod and walks away.
“Nothing like good hate sex to clear up an argument.”
I glare daggers at his naked back as I find my shirt and pull it on.
“That didn’t clear up shit!”
He turns and tosses me a towel from near the weight bench. “No,
but you have to admit, a couple of screaming orgasms sure takes
some of the edge off.”
There’s so much satisfaction in his voice that I want to punch him
right in the dick. Instead, I turn my back on him while I clean myself
off and pull on my shorts. When I turn back around he’s getting
dressed so I look past him but the bank of mirrors gives me a great
view of a superbly formed ass. I sigh as he pulls his jeans over it and
find myself wishing things could be different between us.
“Like I said, I’m sorry I went out there without one of you. I’m still
adjusting to not doing everything myself.” I tell him. “I promise to be
more aware of how my actions affect all of you. But Dev, I’m not the
princess you keep calling me. You can’t stick me in a tower and
expect me to be content to live there for the rest of my life.”
He gives me one of those annoying looks with raised eyebrows
that says everything I just said was a load of bullshit.
“Christ sakes! Why do you have to be like this? Why can’t you
just be like …” I snap my mouth shut without finishing the ridiculous
sentence I almost said but he pounces on it.
“Like the others? Is that what you were going to say? Why can’t I
be like the others and just … love you?”
I squeeze my eyes shut so he won’t see the truth and close my
hands into fists so I don’t pull my hair out in frustration.
“I can’t let myself feel that for you, Kelsey, because I can’t trust
you with it and I can’t trust me either.” For the first time, there’s no
anger or bitterness in his tone, just sadness. My eyes fly open in
surprise and I step closer.
“Why? Why can’t you trust me and why do you think I have a
death wish?” I ask softly.
He stares at me for a few beats like he’s trying to decide if he
wants to lay it all out for me and then slowly starts to nod.
“It’s because of Tara. I can’t trust you because I think in the back
of your mind you haven’t quite decided whether you want to stay or if
you want to go be with her.” My mouth drops open at that bomb and I
start shaking my head in anger. His expression just shifts to
understanding. “Tell me how many times you’ve held a gun to your
head since she died.”
I choke in a gasp and look past him at Tara who’s just popped in.
“Oh no he didn’t! Who the fuck does this asshole think …”
“Right there! She just showed up, didn’t she?” He asks.
My eyes bounce from Tara to Dev and then back again as the first
flutters of panic start in my chest. He knows … knows I’m crazy. I
don’t, don’t …
“Kelsey! Look at me!” He barks and I jerk my gaze back to him
even as tears start to well up.
“She comes when you can’t deal. When it’s too much, right?”
I nod as the first tear falls.
“You won’t let her go and you won’t let whatever happened go
and it’s eating you up so bad that you are keeping her here until you
decide if you can find the courage to go with her. Kelsey, I can’t trust
you because you might actually decide to go and then … where
would that leave me?”
All the tears fall as I look back at my best friend and tilt my head
asking if that’s the truth. She takes a deep breath and squares up to
me.
“It’s time, babes. Tell him, tell him what happened. First step to
letting me go and starting your new life.”
 My face crumples as deep pain slices through me but I breathe
through it and start to talk with my voice shaking and cracking.
“They didn’t come back. Tommy, Lisa, Ryan - they didn’t come
back. We waited a full day. They might have just had trouble with the
truck or had to hold up somewhere so we waited but halfway through
the second day Tara was getting frantic so we went out looking. We
drove around for hours searching but we never found them. Never
even found their truck. We kept going further and further searching
for them but we were getting pretty close to not having enough gas
to get back. I tried, I promised her we would come back and start
again the next day but she wouldn’t listen. She kept saying one more
hour, one more town until I wasn’t sure we’d even make it back on
the gas we had left. Finally, I turned us around and started back. I
can still hear her screaming at me to stop. Over and over again. Oh,
God! Why did I stop?”
“Because you wanted to try to calm me down. You wanted to hug
me tight and promise we’d find them. You were trying to be a good
friend,” she tells me from the corner of the gym, nodding to tell me to
keep going.
I nod quickly back as the first sparks of anger start to push away
the broken pieces of my sadness and I don’t even realize I’m talking
to her now and not Devin.
“Yeah, I wanted to do that but you didn’t let me, did you? No, you
just jumped out of the truck and started screaming his name!” I jam a
finger in her direction. “You broke his number one fucking rule, Tara!
Panic will kill you faster than the dead will. Keep your head. Don’t get
dead.” I spit out bitterly.
She nods as her own tears start to flow. “I didn’t see the one
under the car.”
“That’s right! You didn’t fucking see the one under the car and you
got bit because you lost your fucking head and you screamed and
then the dead came pouring out from everywhere and you fucking
froze.”
“Keep going. Tell him what happened next.”
 I focus my eyes back on Devin, shocked that I forgot he was here
with me for a minute.
“What happened next, Kelsey? Get it out. Get it all out.” He has
so much compassion and understanding on his face that I can’t
stand it so I turn back to face Tara.
“I got her back into the truck before the rest of the dead could
reach us and I brought her home. There was nothing else to do. We
both knew what that bite on her ankle meant so I brought her home
and we waited it out. It was a small bite and far from anything vital so
it took a long time. A really fucking long time. Long enough for her to
work on me.”
“I don’t want to die as one of them. I want to die as me. You need
to help me, Kells. You’re my best friend. I need you to do it. I’m
ready. Silver lining, Kells. I get to be with my parents and Ryan.
Please do it for me? Here, I’ll hold it, all you have to do is pull the
trigger. I’m ready, I’m happy to go. Do it, do it, please, Kelsey, do it!” I
repeat the words Tara spoke to me.
I let out the loudest, most anguished filled roar I have ever heard
and scream it at her until my voice cracks and dies and then I sink to
my knees and the best I can muster is a broken whisper.
“What about me, Tara? Where was my silver lining? Where was
my happy? ‘Cuz I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to do it. But you
kept pushing and pleading and begging and you didn’t care that I
would be left all alone. You didn’t care that doing it would break me
into a thousand pieces because you got to have your silver lining.
You pushed and I begged you to stop and you pushed and I got mad
and you pushed and I got angry that you were doing this to me and
you pushed and I … I … I pulled the … trigger.”
I can’t look at her anymore so I look at Devin and my voice is raw
and hoarse. “I pulled the trigger … in anger. I killed her and it wasn’t
out of love to end her suffering. It was because she … she broke my
heart.”
He drops to his knees in front of me and takes my hands and
squeezes them so tight but I have to finish this now.
 “I was so mad for so long until one day, I wasn’t. I was just too
tired to be mad anymore so I got the gun and I held it to my head but
there wasn’t anyone there to tell me to do it. No one to push and
then Tara was there and she told me to snap out of it and to go have
a hen party because the girls needed me … so I did.”
I feel hollow, like all the poison that I’ve had building inside has
been flushed out. I tip forward so I can rest my forehead against his
and grip his hands tight.
“I don’t want to go, Dev. I don’t need to go because I got my silver
lining after all. You. You and Oliver and Linc and Grayson, you all are
my silver lining and I promise I won’t go, I promise, I choose you.”
He sweeps my hair back and tucks it behind my ears. “I believe
you.” And then he pulls me to him.
 DEVIN

pull her the rest of the way into my lap and turn her so her back is
I against my chest and then hold her tight. This woman is so damn
strong and she has no clue. What Tara did was a shitty, selfish
thing. Not the getting bit part but the goading Kelsey into pulling the
trigger part and Kelsey’s paid for it ever since. She’s let the guilt over
what happened eat her up … just like I have. I hope her finally
pouring it all out will help start healing her. No matter what I said to
her, I am in love with this woman and I owe it to her to try and find
my own peace. I wait until her breathing calms and the small little
hitches in her chest stop and then I put the same trust in her that she
has just shown me as I lay my ghosts out for her.
“I was a middle school English teacher. It was all I ever wanted to
do. You see, I had shitty parents who did shitty things to me and I
ended up in foster care. I was in a group home by fourteen. That’s
where I met Oliver. I was on a bad path and probably would have
ended up in jail by the time I was eighteen but there was this one
teacher, Mr. Handlin, who wouldn’t stay off my back. He stuck with
me no matter how much I lashed out or acted out in class. He made
me a bet that I couldn’t read thirty books by the end of the school
year and if he lost the bet he would buy me a brand new bike. I was
a stubborn little shit back then and I wanted to rub his nose in it and I
also really wanted that bike. I took the bet and I read his thirty books
and then I kept on reading and it changed my life, he changed my
life. I got that new bike just in time for summer break and then I
barely rode it because I was too busy reading. After that, I wanted to
be an English teacher just like him so maybe one day I could do
something like that to change a kid’s life for the better.
 “The day this all kicked off, a bunch of students came in from
recess with bite marks. They said there were some adults chasing
kids and hurting them so we went into lockdown. Nobody at the
school knew what was going on but an hour into the lockdown we
got swarmed by parents demanding their kids. It was madness.
Everyone was panicking and there were so many bloody people
running through the halls just trying to get to their kids. After a few
hours, the principal had us bring the students that were still left to the
gym to wait for parents to show up and get them. By this time, there
were two, maybe two hundred and fifty kids left and there were at
least twenty who had been … bit.”
Kelsey stiffens in my lap and wiggles out of my hold so she can
turn around and face me. Her face is tear-streaked and her eyes are
red and swollen and she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
She takes my hands into hers and nods softly. “Tell me.”
I stare into her eyes and I don’t want to. I don’t want to say what
happened after that. I’ve never talked about it, never told the guys
how it all went down. Even as I open my mouth to tell her I don’t
want to, visions of what came next slam into me and it just starts
pouring out.
“No one else came and it got late so we pulled out the gym mats
and shut half the lights out so they could try and get some sleep.
There was a lot of crying at first but eventually, they all settled down
and went to sleep. There were only five of us teachers left to watch
over all of them so we made a schedule to take it in shifts so
someone was awake through the night. I took the three to six shift
because I never did sleep much anyway. The moans and then
screams woke me around two o’clock in the morning. At first, I
thought some of the crazy people had gotten in somehow and were
attacking - but it was so much worse and it happened so fast. The
kids who had been bitten had died in their sleep and came back and
we were completely unprepared. They just tore through the sleeping
kids.
“I … I tried. I just kept pulling kids off of each other but it was next
to impossible to see who was attacking who. There was so much
blood everywhere and I didn’t know which way to turn, who to help. I
finally just grabbed a kid in each arm and hauled them over to the
bleachers that had been pushed in to make room. I boosted them up
to the top and left them there out of reach and dove back in for more.
I managed to get six more kids up to safety before there were too
many of the dead ones coming after me so I climbed up with the kids
I managed to save and watched and listened as my students died.
So many of them called my name, begging me to save them.”
I pull my hands from hers so I can run my fingers through the hair
that’s fallen over my face as my head lowered with the recounting. I
yank on the long strands so the pain will help me stay on the surface
of the churning emotions inside of me when all I really want to do is
let go and drown so I never have to think of this again. Her small
hands rub up and down my thighs as she tries to comfort me but she
stays silent, letting me get there at my own pace. I suck back the
angry tears that want to flow and clear my voice.
“The kids up on the bleachers with me were crying and screaming
but the top was so narrow I couldn’t get to them without falling off
myself so I just tried to yell to them that we would be okay, that
someone would come for us. Both of those were lies. None of them
were okay and I hadn’t really saved them at all because every single
one of those children had been bit. I just managed to prolong their
terror as we sat there for hours while more and more of their
classmates turned into zombies, moaning and reaching up for us.
One by one those poor, terrorized kids fell to the infection. They just
slumped over as they died and the smallest nudge sent them back
down to the waiting hands clawing for us. Then they would rise back
up minutes later and start moaning and reaching too.
“I failed them. I didn’t manage to save a single one. I failed them
all, Princess, and I still see each one of their snarling, dead faces
every day. I sat there for three more days staring down at all those
little faces I didn’t save and memorized each one until the others
came and rescued me.”
“It’s not your fault, Devin. You didn’t do that to them. It’s not your
fault.” She tries to tell me in a broken voice. Somewhere inside me a
couple of cracks fill in but there are oh so many cracks that it barely
mends what I live with.
“I’ve held a gun to my head three times since then but every time
I try to end it their ghosts come and surround me and I don’t feel like
I have the right to end my suffering. I feel like I need to stay alive so
that someone remembers them. But what if one day I’m not strong
enough and what if I finally choose to forget them and just let go?”
Kelsey places her hands on both sides of my face and stares
intently at me. Her face is filled with a look of love and compassion
that I can’t believe I deserve when she speaks.
“What if you choose to remember them and love them instead of
suffering for them? Remember how they would laugh and scream in
happiness as they played at recess. Remember how their faces
would glow when they got a good grade or the surprise and
satisfaction when they understood something new and interesting
you taught them? Dev, what if they haunt you because they want you
to remember who they were - not what they became?”
I jerk back at the idea of that and squeeze my eyes closed. All I
ever see since it started was the fear and then the hunger as they
reached for me. I hear their screams and cries and I forgot about
who they were. I forgot how Seth McMillen had the most infectious
laugh and would get the rest of the class cracking up until even I was
smiling. I forgot how Annabeth, with her thick glasses, would hug her
books to her chest when she read something that made her happy. I
forgot about Jenny, Violet, and Becky passing notes all through class
and stifling their giggles thinking I wouldn’t hear them. I forgot about
Thomas, Gavin, and Max having mock Avenger battles on the
playground and how they would play rock, paper, scissors to see
who would get to be Iron Man that day. When I open my eyes again,
they are all sitting around us, criss-cross applesauce, their eager
faces upturned waiting for me to begin reading the next chapter of
Harry Potter, The Warrior Cats, or whatever novel we were working
our way through.
Their happy faces finally break the dam I lock my pain behind and
it all floods out. I haven’t cried since it happened. I’ve raged and
screamed and cursed but I have never cried for the beautiful children
I once cared for and helped shape. As the hot, fat tears pour down
my face and the sobs shake my body, Kelsey wraps herself around
me and holds on tightly while every tear that falls works to seal
another crack in my soul.
My voice is a rough rasp as I bury my face in her hair and
whisper, “Thank you.”
 KELSEY

e hold on to each other for hours. There’s no talking, we’ve

W talked enough and shared what we needed to share - now we
are just holding on, taking comfort in each other, processing
what we’ve been through.
Now that I’ve voiced it, said out loud what happened and how I
felt, I feel like I’m a step or two closer to forgiving myself for pulling
that trigger in anger and forgiving Tara for the part she played in
getting us there. I know just sharing it with Dev won’t be a magic
cure to all the crazy that lives in my head but I already feel lighter for
letting it out.
What Devin went through, the pain he’s been living with is
unimaginable to me. To hear what happened and how he lived with
the blame for it for so long, I have no words. I’m just so grateful he
opened up and shared it with me. Seeing Devin so vulnerable and
open has me wanting to hold him close for as long as he’ll allow it.
At some point, Linc opens the door and looks in on us. His
expression softens when he sees how Devin is holding me like a
lifeline and how I’m holding him back just as tightly. His eyes are so
full of love as he backs out and softly closes the door again.
Sometime later, Devin starts speaking again. He tells me about
the students he taught. Funny little stories of their antics and other
stories about those he worked so hard to reach and inspire. He tells
me their names and what was special about each one of them and I
know this is his way of showing me he’s going to stay too. Stay with
me and remember them without the suffering but with love instead.
 We move to the kitchen and I make us a simple supper that we
share at the stainless steel table, sitting side by side on stools as I
tell him the good stories of Tara and our history before the dead
rose. Once the leftover food is put away and the dishes washed, he
pulls me back into the gym and without words, our bodies come
together. Our clothes melt away and this time our mouths are slow
and our hands are soft as we explore each other. When he fills me
this time, it’s with tenderness and his slow, deep strokes are just as
powerful as the madness we shared earlier against the wall but it’s a
different kind of power. This time when we reach the peak together
it’s not frustration and anger that pushes us over, it’s love.
“You’re mine and I’m never letting you go, Princess.” He tells me
when we come back down from the high. I don’t plan on letting him
go either.
The others give us space when we finally go back to the camper
for the night and I lead him up to my bed where we wrap each other
with our arms and sleep through the night, drained from the
emotional day and safe from our ghosts that are finally starting to
fade.
The next few days roll in hot and sunny but the next round of
harvesting is still a week or two away so we find other ways to stay
busy.
Oliver teaches me how to make the amazing pork dumplings and
this time we share the finished product with the other guys instead of
eating them all ourselves.
Devin reads to me from a favorite book that he found in one of the
bins we brought back from a library while we sit on a blanket in the
middle of the garden.
Linc tries to teach me how to play chess but we always end up
making out like teenagers halfway through his lessons. I’m okay with
that, chess is overrated and I can’t get enough of his big broad body
and the sweet tender way he kisses me.
Grayson insists that I need to level up my gaming skills and tries
to get me interested in racing games but I just don’t have the knack
for it and crash my cars constantly. I think he loves when I toss my
controller down in disgust because it always ends in him distracting
me with filthy, dirty sex talk that he proceeds to act out. That sweet
man hides a sexual deviant and he’s twisted my body like a pretzel
and fucked me every way possible as I begged for more.
As the days pass and we fall into a rhythm I find myself relaxing
and feeling less awkward, less anxious. I find myself happy, really
and truly happier than I’ve ever felt before.
I set the egg bucket on the table in the kitchen, grab the heavy
box I’m giving them for a treat, and shut the lights out. As I leave the
cavern and walk back to where all the guys are on the patio in front
of our camper, I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face.
I love four men. I’m in love with four men and four men love me
back.
“Ah, there’s our girl!” Gray says sweetly when I join them.
I set the box on the coffee table with a smile.
“So you guys are always talking about the last chili mac MRE. I
dug this box of Meals Ready to Eat out for you all so you don’t have
to fight over it anymore. There’s like three more cases of them in
storage. We can have the chili mac ones for supper if you want!”
They all start laughing but I catch a look pass between Grayson
and the others that has my nerves twanging. Something’s going on
here. I send a suspicious narrow-eyed look Oliver’s way as Grayson
pulls me down on his lap so my back is to his chest. His hands land
on my bare thighs and tease the hem of the skirt on the short
sundress I’m wearing. His thumbs slide up under it and start
sweeping the sensitive skin of my inner thighs as Linc, Devin, and
Oliver all come to stand in front of us.
“What, uh - what’s g-going on fellas?” I ask as Grayson nudges
my legs a little bit further apart.
It’s Oliver that answers me in his cool calm tone. “We thought it
was time for your punishment. Did you think we had forgotten? That
you were going to escape our wrath?”
 My mouth goes dry as Linc and Grayson’s words from before
float through my mind. “Three mouths, three times the pleasure.” My
eyes flash between them, landing on Dev’s icy blue ones and he lifts
his eyebrows in challenge just as Grayson starts kissing my neck
and pushing my skirt up higher. He chuckles against my skin when
my ass presses back against the growing bulge in his shorts.
“I promise we’ll punish you properly and make sure you
remember. We’re going to show you how much we want you and all
the lengths we’ll go to keep you safe, happy, and pleasured. Now
open your legs, darlin’. Linc’s got a powerful thirst that will only be
satisfied by your sweet honey.”
Linc doesn’t give me a chance to do as Gray says. He drops to
his knees and spreads me wide as Gray pulls my skirt the rest of the
way up, exposing the thin piece of satin covering me. I can already
feel that it’s damp but Linc makes it even wetter when he leans over
and licks me right through it. The thin fabric is no match for his
strong broad tongue and a loud moan escapes me. He keeps licking
me through it and I try and force him deeper but Grayson holds my
hips tight, keeping my ass firmly against him.
“Tell him what you need, baby. Tell him what you want.”
I swallow hard and let my head drop back beside his to meet the
hot eyes of Devin and Oliver.
“Off! I need them off, pl-please!”
Linc pulls back and slides my drenched panties down and off my
legs and then waits with his hands on my spread knees.
“Keep going, baby. We’re all yours. You tell us what you want and
we will do anything. Anything for you. Say the words.” Grayson tells
me huskily and a thrill of power goes through me as my clit throbs for
attention. I am so fucking turned on right now that a new confidence
fills me. I look at the men waiting for me to speak, waiting to hear me
tell them what I want them to do to my body and I fully embrace it.
“I want your tongue. I want it inside of me, deep and hard.” I tell
Linc and the sexy smile that tugs on his lips as he lowers back to my
waiting pussy has me rocking my hips up to meet his mouth. I try
and close my legs around his head but Grayson pulls them back
apart even wider as Linc’s tongue spears into my opening, making
me cry out.
“Nuh, uh. We want to watch. Look what it’s doing to Oliver and
Dev.”
I tear my eyes from what’s happening between my legs and see
both Oliver and Devin stroking themselves through their shorts. My
mouth waters at my next thought so I go with it.
“Show me. Both of you, show me.” I command and two sets of
shorts hit the ground and two cocks get fisted and stroked. I don’t
even recognize my voice when I snap out, “Mine!”
“Good girl,” Grayson murmurs in my ear even as he grinds his
hard cock against my ass in time with Linc’s tongue stroking my
pussy. “Do you want those cocks inside of you, filling you up?”
I groan out, “Yes!” So they both step forward and I drag Oliver
closer, beside me so I can get my mouth on his cock and reach for
Devin to replace his fingers with mine.
“That’s right, baby. Swallow his cock down.” Grayson moans in
my ear as I feel the first clench of a climax coming on. Linc moans
between my legs and my hips lift in response. I pull my lips off of
Oliver’s cock so I can switch to Dev’s thick shaft when Grayson
pushes Linc’s head away from my wet heat just as I’m about to cum.
“Fuck, don’t stop,” I plead. “Is this the punishment part?”
“Just wait for it, baby. We can’t have your sweet pussy cum with
nothing to clamp down on. Let me fill you up so you can come on my
cock.”
Linc lifts my hips enough so Grayson can slide his shorts off and
then bends me forward so his mouth can reach mine. I can taste my
arousal on his lips and tongue and it just makes me wetter. Grayson
takes advantage of my position to slide his hard cock into me from
behind and then I’m gasping and crying as he fills me with thrust
after thrust. Linc pushes me back against him so I’m riding him
cowgirl style and dives back down to work my clit with his tongue.
The sounds I’m making are so savage I expect the alarms to go off
any minute as the dead pile up against our fences.
Devin solves that problem by moving back in and pressing his
engorged head against my lips until I take him in my mouth and suck
hard and deep down into my throat. Oliver moves around to the
other side of me and with Grayson’s help lifts my dress up and over
my head. Grayson’s fingers roll one of my pebbled nipples while
Oliver sucks on the other. It’s too much, too much and I explode
around Grayson’s cock and against Linc’s tongue. My cries are
muffled by Dev’s hard shaft in my mouth.
“Jesus, baby, you’re so fucking tight squeezing me, milking my
cock. I can’t … I can’t last. Fuck, Kells!” Grayson groans out against
the side of my head as he bucks hard up inside of me, filling me.
Dev pushes him back so he can hold both sides of my head and
thrusts fast, fucking my mouth as I moan and my climax peaks
again. I swallow his salty cum as it hits the back of my throat and
then collapse back against Grayson’s chest and try to catch my
breath. This is fucking mind-blowing amazing and I still have two of
my men left to please. Grayson groans as my pussy clenches at the
thought of more, more, more. I never want this to end.
Linc plucks me with no effort from Grayson’s lap and carries me
across to the second couch. He sets me on my feet long enough for
him to lay down and then Oliver is there helping me straddle Linc
and kissing me as my hips start rolling and I find the rhythm of the
ride. I keep one hand on Linc’s muscular thigh behind me to keep my
balance and the other finds Oliver’s velvety soft shaft so I can stroke
it, swirling my thumb over his head with every stroke. The building
heat in my core from Linc’s cock dragging against that sweet spot
inside of me is threatening to overwhelm me with every roll of my
hips. With his mouth covering mine, I feel as much as hear Oliver
groan with pleasure as I stroke his cock and I break our kiss.
“I want you in my mouth. Let me taste you again, Oliver.” I plead.
He pushes one more hard kiss on my lips and then he’s feeding
me his cock. We find a rhythm and soon all three of us are groaning
and I think I cry out around the head of Oliver’s cock as Linc’s fingers
dig into my hips and he starts thrusting harder, trying to get deeper
into me. Oliver takes control of my head to guide himself in and out
at a faster pace. I swear we all cum at the same time when Devin
leans over from the back of the couch and sucks on one of my tits.
When Oliver and Devin pull back, I collapse and fall against Linc’s
chest.
“I’m done. Death by orgasm is what it will say on the death
certificate.”
Grayson kneels beside the couch and smooths my hair away
from my sweaty face.
“Not yet. We have so much more to give you. We’re just getting
started, Kells.”
A laugh slips out when my body squeezes around Linc’s slowly
softening shaft. I guess I could go again after all. He must see it in
my eyes because his strong, hot hand sweeps down my bare back
and between my ass cheeks, causing me to gasp in pleasure. When
he picks me up, I wrap my legs around him and look back at the men
who love me. Silver lining doesn’t come close. I’ve got a solid gold
future with them.
 KELSEY

walk along the back fence with Oliver and Linc, looking over the
I last of the late fall crops of squash and pumpkins. A cool breeze
blows, making me shiver, and I wrap my sweater tighter over the
little growing bump of my stomach. Oliver squeezes my hand when I
sigh in contentment. Harvest went so much easier with five sets of
hands. Especially for me. The guys made me cut back my workload
and have a daily nap. I keep waiting for the surge of energy the
books say I’ll get in the second trimester but it hasn’t hit me yet.
Linc comes up behind me and slides a big hand around my waist
to rest on the bump, making me smile. None of us knows who the
father is and none of us care. I swear it happened the day we all
came together for the first time so I’m choosing to believe it was a
mix of all four of their swimmers who defied the odds and made it
past birth control to knock me up. This will be the most loved baby in
this world. Five parents to love, care and protect it with everything
we have. The guys are already talking about expanding the fence
line to create a larger buffer zone from the dead hearing the sounds
of playing children. My smile grows. I haven’t even had this one and
they’re already talking about more.
At first, I think it’s in my imagination because I was just thinking
about it but when I see Oliver and Linc freeze and lift their heads to
listen, I know the sound of a child’s laugh from the other side of the
fence is real. I point to the closest gate and then press a finger to my
lips to let them know we should be silent. We’ve just stepped through
the gate and are in the space between the inner and outer fences
when I hear a woman’s voice.
 “Emma, sweetie, you need to try and be quieter, please. You
know we have to hide our voices so the zombies don’t find us.”
“Sorry, mommy!” I hear in a loud whisper and it makes me grin. I
point in the direction the people on the other side of the fence are
going and we follow along, listening in on their conversation.
“David, what do you think is on the other side of this? We should
check. It might be somewhere we could stop for a while. The kids
need a break.”
“Or, it could be filled with the dead and we could end up trapped.
Hey Lucas, you tired? Mom thinks you need a break.”
“Nah, I’m okay but Emma could probably use one soon.” Says a
much younger sounding voice.
I turn and look at Oliver and Linc with a “Well, what do you think?”
expression. Oliver pulls out his phone and fires off a rapid couple of
texts to Devin and Grayson and then gives me a thumbs up. Linc
shrugs and then nods when we hear the little girl giggle from the
other side of the fence. The fence rattles and we all look and see
fingers curl through the ivy as someone grabs on to climb. I finally
speak and it’s loud enough to be heard by the people on the other
side.
“Please don’t climb the fence. It will set off the alarm. There’s a
gate about fifteen feet to your right, I’ll meet you there.”
There’s a long pause and then the fingers retract and the woman
hesitantly asks, “Is it safe?”
Before I can answer, the little girl presses against the fence and
loudly whispers, “Does it gots kids?”
I place both my hands on my belly and I have the biggest grin on
my face as I answer them both.
“Yes, it’s safe and no kids yet, but there is one scheduled to arrive
in about four and a half months.”
I hear them move away from the fence and have a quick
whispered conversation that I can’t quite make out. Dev and
Grayson pop through the gate in the inner fence that we left open
and I smile and nod when I see they both came with weapons. It
never hurts to be prepared but I don’t think we’ll need them this time.
“Okay, we’ll meet you at the gate.” We hear the man say through
the fence and we all move down to it. I stand back as Linc unlocks
the gate and pulls it open. Dev and Grayson are beside him with
their weapons, just in case there are any dead stragglers around. It
was a new rule we added for whenever the outer fence gets opened.
No one goes alone or without cover.
As the fence opens up I see a man and a woman standing there
with their two kids tucked behind them. Dirty blond curls and a single
blue eye peek out from behind the woman so I smile and welcome
them in.
Oliver and Grayson lead the family back to the inner gate with
Linc following behind. Dev reaches out to close the outer gate but
out of the corner of my eye I see a blur slipping out through the open
gate and I suck in a breath and grasp Dev’s wrist to stop him.
“Princess? What is it?”
She walks to the tree line and pauses as she looks back at me
over her shoulder with her best smile.
“Bye, babes.” She says, and with a wink, melts away into the
forest.
I blink back tears that don’t need to be shed and drop my hand
from Devin’s arm so he can close the gate.
“Nothing … just setting a ghost free.”
His icy blue eyes meet mine and a look of understanding crosses
his face before he swings an arm around my shoulders and leads
me back to our home.

THE END…
 TOMMY AND RYAN'S
LEVEL UP ZOMBIE
RULES

1. Panic will kill you faster than the dead will. Keep your
head. Don’t get dead
2. Only fight the dead as a last resort – choose to redirect
them instead.
3. Guns go bang and more zombies will follow. Only fire an
unsilenced gun as a last resort.
4. Drama results in distractions. Distractions result in death.
5. Always have a blade. Bullets run out. Knives don’t need
to be reloaded.
 REESE RIVERS
PRESENTS
TIME AFTER TIME
BOOK ONE – CATCH ME
PREVIEW

Sebastian
“Time for some answers, witch! Who sent you?”
Instead of cowering at my thundering tone as most would, she
squares up to me with an anger-filled face. A hand comes up and
one pretty finger jabs in my direction.
“Listen, Iceman - you might be the lord of the manor or whatever
but that doesn’t mean you can act like an asshole toward me! Stop
calling me a witch! No one sent me. Seriously, it’s a case of wrong
place, wrong time.”
In my one thousand, four hundred and twenty-six years in this
mortal realm, I have never been left speechless but this…this demon
witch with her jabbing finger and words…Did she just call me an…
asshole?…Has finally stunned me speechless.
Finn and Cade are howling with laughter, no doubt at my
flabbergasted expression, and Luca is leaning against a bookshelf
with an expression of avid interest that I’ve never seen on his face
before. He is clearly hexed by the witch.
 Fury fills me at her defiant expression so I can’t help myself when
I rush the few feet between us and drag her against my chest in a
crushing hold. I’m about to show her exactly who she’s dealing with
and anticipate the terror I will see in her pretty, wide green eyes
when I feel something hard and rigid against my thigh. I push her
away from me enough to be able to run my hands down her body.
Her curves are enticing enough without being covered by the most
sinfully soft material that her cloak is made of. Smooth like silk and
satin but thick like the softest fur, it is a type of material that only the
wealthiest would own.
I sense her shivering slightly as my hands complete the slow
journey down her body, stopping when they reach the two hard
objects I had felt. I see the panic in her eyes when I slip my hands
into the pockets of her cloak and grasp a hard rectangle from one
and a small cylinder from the other. I smirk in triumph when her
hands come up and latch onto both my wrists. A tiny shake of her
head and the one whispered word of, “Don’t,” tell me I’ve found her
secrets. The witch is strong, surprisingly so for a woman, but not
strong enough to stop me from pulling the items out and exposing
them to the room.
We both look down at what I’m holding, her with a small sigh and
me in confusion. I have no idea what either of the items are. The
cylinder is red with white writing on it and made from no material that
I have ever seen before. I turn my eyes to the rectangle and lift it
higher to examine it more closely. The front surface is black and
shiny smooth. It looks like obsidian but if it is, the craftsmanship to
make a slab as perfectly smooth as this is beyond anything I’ve seen
in my long lifetime. The black stone is edged along the sides and
back with a material that sparkles in all the colors of opal or pearl,
changing when it is looked at from different angles. Whatever the
object is, it looks to be priceless in value. How this woman came to
be in possession of it is another secret I vow to solve. The lightness
of weight surprises me as a piece of obsidian this large should be
heavier. I can’t help but rub my thumb over its smoothness and the
action has the object flaring to life, causing me to jerk it away from
my face. That’s all the witch needs to snatch it from my hand and
hide it behind her back. The light from the object is all the evidence I
need to prove her a user of the dark arts.
“Not a witch you say and yet here is the proof of your lies!” I
accuse her in a cold tone. I expect her to deny my words, beg or
plead but once again this woman does what I least expect. She
groans out a frustrated screech, tilts her head back, and looks to the
ceiling.
“Seriously? Tried for witchcraft and burned at the stake for a
fucking iPhone? Seriously?”
The other three men in the room have moved closer and loosely
encircle her. It’s Cade that asks, “Are you calling to the one you
worship, lass? Or the one you serve?”
She shakes her head and whispers, “Jesus,” under her breath but
then says it again louder. “Jesus! That is who I worship and serve, in
my own way, if I have to pick. I…am…not…a…witch!” She spits out
before whipping the magical object out and holding it up for all of us
to see.
“THIS is not magic. It’s, it’s technology. A tool. Where I’m from,
almost everyone, rich or poor, owns some version of one and none
of them are witches!” She sighs and lowers it down and uses her
thumb to brighten it again before holding it out, offering it to any of us
to take. When none of us do, her shoulders slump. “It won’t hurt you.
It’s not dangerous…unless you have an Amazon Prime membership
and an addiction to online shopping.” As we all take a step back, she
laughs. “Joke, I was making a sarcastic joke! Honestly, it’s just a
device that is common where I come from.”
Luca steps closer to her and leans his upper body to get a better
look at what is displayed on the front of the object. He frowns and
asks, “Where are you from, then? It must be a wealthy land if all
people have such a marvel.”
She snorts out a laugh and uses her free hand to swipe away a
thick hank of her red curls to behind her back. “You wouldn’t believe
me if I told you.” When he just lifts his eyebrows in dispute, sadness
crosses her face and she gives a tiny shake of her head. “No one
could believe me. I hardly believe it myself.”
Luca lifts a hand and cups the witch’s face, causing me and the
wolves to rear back in shock. Luca refuses to touch others unless it’s
during a fight or by accident. Should anyone touch him, he will flinch
from it or lash out. Seeing this out of character behavior from him is
just one more instance that proves to me that the woman has cast a
spell on him.
“You would be surprised at what we would believe. Try us,” he
tells her in a soothing tone.
I see her face softening and the longing and loneliness I can read
in her expression have me doubting my belief for a moment. She
chews on her bottom lip in indecision and something about that
sends a bolt of heat down to my cock. Such attraction for a woman
this quickly doesn’t happen to me and my mind is again swayed
back to her being a witch that has spelled us. We don’t even know
the witch’s name, for hell’s sake.
Her eyes dart around the room to look at each one of us before
she takes a deep breath and then blows it out, causing my eyes to
dip down to her breasts. I force them away and focus on her face to
see the lie that I know is coming.
“My name is Eden Kelly and I’m from the future. The year I come
from is 2028. If math is hard for you all, that’s three hundred and
sixty-one years in the future, to be exact.”
The room is dead silent for a moment after her ridiculous lie of a
statement until I let out a roar of anger, done with this foolishness.
She swings her face my way, still filled with defiance so I show her a
truth that will force her to reveal every secret she has. I let the
change come over me and feel my canines lengthening to fangs as
my eyes blaze a red to match fires of hell. I step towards her with a
snarl so my teeth are on full display and wait for the screaming to
begin. The witch’s eyes widen but not with the terror I expect.
Instead, they almost seem to be filled with wonder. Her mouth drops
open in surprise but quickly snaps into a grin of…delight?
 Nothing in her reaction is how it is supposed to be so I find that
I’m the one who is shocked instead of her when she takes a few
steps toward me instead of fleeing for her life. She lifts a hand as if
she’s going to touch my face but quickly shakes her head and drops
it to her side, still with that infuriating grin.
“Holy shit, you’re a vampire!” And then the witch laughs…laughs!
“Boy, did Twilight get it wrong. Not a single sparkle to be seen!”
Eden
Holy cracker jackers! A vampire? A real-live, honest to God,
mother effin’ vampire is standing in front of me right now. As if time
travel wasn’t enough to scramble my fragile brain, the universe is
going to throw this at me too? Not that it isn’t freaking amazing but
now I’m wondering what other crazy is headed my way. I’m grinning
like an idiot at vampire guy and try not to giggle when he loses the
fangs and glowy red eyes to leave a small pout on his sexy lips.
I guess he was expecting a different reaction from me but as a
huge fan of Buffy, True Blood, and The Originals, not to mention a
few hundred e-books that I’ve read - well, I guess I could be scared
but honestly I’m more intrigued than anything else. I can’t help the
sassy wink I toss at him before I spin away to take a closer look at
the other three shocked men in the room. My eyes lock onto Luca
and I slowly start to nod my head while lifting my hand to point at
him.
“Vampire.” It’s more of a statement than a question and my heart
does a little flutter when he nods back just as slowly that I’m right. I
grace him with another big smile and switch my focus to the blonds,
Finn and Cade. Here I pause while squinting my eyes in
consideration but then shake my head.
“Not vampire but…”
Both of them lean forward like they’re eager to hear what I’m
going to guess. They just don’t give off the vamp vibe that fits the
other two men now that they’ve revealed themselves. I track back to
all the things I’ve heard since I landed in this time and focus on the
words dog, pup and…wolf! My eyes go wide and I practically choke
out, “Wolves! Oh my God, are you guys wolf shifters?”
The huge grins that plaster across both of their faces tells me that
I’ve nailed my guess and I just stand there in total shock.
“How did you know that, lass? Are there many shifters where…
uh…when you come from?” Cade asks in excitement.
I let out a laugh. “In real life, no clue. But in books, TV shows, and
movies, yes. So many.”
Cade elbows Finn in the side. “Do you hear that, cousin? We’re
famous in the future! There are many books written about us and the
other two things she said that I don’t understand. Many, she said!”
Cade opens his mouth to ask me something but a thought
crosses my mind like a lightning bolt so I cut him off and spin to look
at the others.
“Time travel, vampires and wolf shifters - for all that’s holy,
please, please say there are dragons too?”
Luca barks out a laugh, causing the other three men to stare at
him like he has two heads but only for a second before Sebastian
finally loses his patience.
“Enough! Enough of your incessant chatter and lies! I’m done
dealing with this nonsense.” He roars at me and points to Finn and
Cade. “Take her to one of the guest rooms and lock her in. I will get
the truth from her tomorrow.” He turns his glare on Luca. “And you! I
don’t know what spell the witch has cast over you but I don’t like it.
You will come with me to the palace to inform the King of what
transpired today.” When Luca frowns, Sebastian throws up a hand.
“No arguments. The further away from her we are, the more the spell
will weaken.” With that proclamation, he steps up to me, pries the
iPhone from my hand, and strides purposefully out of the room.
I glare at the empty doorway he’s disappeared through for a
moment before switching my gaze to Luca and change my
expression to a hopeful one and asking a one-word question,
“Dragons?”
 He smiles softly at me but shakes his head before leaving the
room. As the two wolves escort me to a guest bedroom I mutter
under my breath. “Dammit, why couldn’t there be dragons too?”
Coming Soon!
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 YA Post Apocalyptic Titles Written as Theresa Shaver

The Stranded Series

Land – A Stranded Novel, Book One
Sea – A Stranded Novel, Book Two
Home - A Stranded Novel, Book Three
City Escape – A Stranded Novel, Book Four
Frozen – A Stranded Novel Book Five
The Endless Winter Series
Snow & Ash – An Endless Winter Novel, Book One
Rain & Ruin – An Endless Winter Novel, Book Two
Sun & Smoke – An Endless Winter Novel, Book Three
Fire & Fury – An Endless Winter Novel, Book Four
Scorched – A Dry Earth Novel
The Flare Series
The Journey – A Flare Novel, Book One
The Line – A Flare Novel, Book Two
The Bridge – A Flare Novel, Book Three