14 - Friend Objection - UMP University

30/05/2020 Friend Objection – UMP University
  Go to Course Home  Complete Lesson
Deal with Cockblock
- :
Firstly, to deal with the friend objection, frame her as independent and staying with her friends as needy
and immature (as we discussed in Preemptive Objective Handling.)
Objection: “I came with my friends, and I feel bad leaving them.”
Guy: “It’s okay. They can come with us if they want.”

Guy: “Yeah, same with me. It’s my friend’s last night here as well, so I’ll
have to stay here a bit longer before we leave.”
Guy: “Look, my friends are here as well, and I don’t want to ditch them
either. But you seem really fucking cool, and I would love to have a drink
with you somewhere else where we can just chill and relax.”
Objection: “I can’t. I’m going back to my friend’s house.”
Find out further logistics.
https://www.umpuniversity.com/courses/becoming-the-ultimate-man/lesson/friend-objection/ 1/11
Guy: “Why are you staying there?”
Girl: “I live far away” / “We are doing XYZ tomorrow.”
Guy: That’s cool. You can still go there. Let’s just grab a drink at mine first, and
then I can get you an Uber to her place.”
Objection: “I can’t. my friends are coming back to my house.”
Similar to the above statement, but a little harder to get over. It requires more compliance to ask the girl
to give someone else the keys to her place.
Guy: “Okay then. How about I just come with you, and we can get to know
each other better at your place, as long as your promise not to steal my
organs while I’m there.”
Guy: “Oh, why don’t you just give them the keys and meet them
thereafter?” *Assumptive tone*
Objection: “We came together, so we have to leave together.”
When the girls conjure a pact to stay together and leave together, the rule is usually made up by the one
girl who has a boyfriend and doesn’t want her friends to leave them. Or it might be the less attractive girl
who is worried about her friends getting more validation than her. There is also a rare third type of girl
who is single, gets attention, but she enjoys the control of the group. She usually puts her friends down,
tells them what to do, and acts like a tyrant. These archetypes are the typical “Cockblocks” we will discuss
shortly.
Guy: “Who came up with this rule?”
Try to find out what friend will be the biggest obstacle.
Girl: “We all did.”
Guy: “No, but someone must have suggested it, I’m just curious who it was?”
Girl: *Name*
Guy: “Why do you think they/she created this rule?”
The answer is usually around a safety concern.
Girl: “We want to make sure we are all safe.”
Guy: “So, hypothetically if they knew 100% you would be safe, they would be okay
with you doing your own thing?”
Using the “Confirm diagnosis” strategy to create commitment and consistency.
Girl: “Yeah”
Guy: “Okay. I will give them a photo of my ID, and you can put your phone on
location, so they know where you are.”
Keep in mind; it’s not usually this easy. The friends will often resist at some level, and you will need to use
the following methods to help overcome the objection.
Win the friends over

If you are just some random guy talking to a girl, her friends will be rightfully worried. They have all been
traumatized with stories about girls getting drugged or raped. They have been warned by their parents
and friends to look after each other. Women have every right and even responsibility to look out for each
other.
It is your responsibility to show them that you can be trusted.
The best way to overcome the friend objection is to have the friends on your side. Engage them and
make them part of your conversation. Isolation is important, but you should not attempt it until the
friends approve of you.
To win over her friends, follow the opposite rules that we have taught you about attraction. Overvalidate
and reward the friends and come across as super attainable and friendly. At times, the above objections
are better handled by providing a solution to her friends. For example – if her friends are sleeping at her
place, telling her to give them the key is usually not enough. You need to speak to her friends on her
behalf and provide a solution everyone is happy with.
Playing Cupid
After winning them over you can make them play cupid. Frame it as their idea to set you and the girl up.
Allow them to feel like they have “won” their friend goes home with you. A lot of girls will be jealous if
someone is trying to take home their friend. However, if they can take control and take the role of wing
woman it can resolve this issue.
Guy: “Hey guys, I really like your friend. I can trust her, right?”
The friends will now start selling the girl to you and qualifying.
Friends: “Yes, she’s amazing!”
Guy: “I want to spend more time with her and get to know her better. Would you
guys be okay with us going to get a drink later?”
When you deliver the question ask it like you confined in them and really needed their advice.
Girl: “Of course!”
Most girls will assume you just mean a drink at the bar. But now, you have your first step of commitment
from the friends.
Later, ask them for more help.
Guy: “Hey guys, I need your help. Your friend wants to have a glass of wine at
mine, do you know what type of wine she likes so I can pick it up on the way?”
You could even make it come across as their idea. Let them plot together to come up with a plan to take
her home.
Doing it this way assumes the close and also makes you appear entirely unthreatening. This resolves a lot
of safety concerns since we’ve already framed it as the friend’s idea, they’ll happily play cupid.
She said, she said

This routine uses the power of social pressure to get a yes out of the friends.
Confirm the diagnosis with the girl
Guy: “So if your friends are okay with it, would you want to come back with me?”
Girl: “Yeah, if they are okay with it.”
The girl will rarely check with her friends if they can leave, that’s the reason you got the friend objection
in the first place. You must be the one to help her deal with her friends.
Once she’s agreed, find the most compliant friend and tell her;
Guy: “Your friend wants to go home with me; she just wants to check that you are
okay with it.”
The friends do not want to be the one to say she can’t go if that is what she has decided (for the most
part), even if deep down inside they don’t want her to. Especially if they’ve played cupid before, due to
Commitment and Consistency they feel the social pressure to comply.
Response A
A definite and affirmative “Yes”;
Girl: “That’s fine. We don’t mind at all.”
Response B
Passive-aggressive “Yes.”
Girl: “It’s up to her! If she wants to leave us and go with you, then she can do
whatever she wants!”
Convey this message back to my girl without the passive-aggressive tonality.
Guy: “Hey, I just spoke to your friends. They are happy that you get a drink with
me.”
They will now typically be shocked and surprised her friends would be okay with it (they usually aren’t)
and even call you out.
Girl: “Really?!” Or ”No, they didn’t!”
Guy: “They said as long as you want to, then it’s fine. They don’t mind.”
Even though the girl knows her friend’s only tentatively agreed, since she likes you and wants to leave, it
is enough for her to feel comfortable going.
Cockblock Friend: “She’s not going with you.”
The above techniques only work if the friends are not trying to cockblock. First and foremost, it’s
imperative to understand what motivates the cockblock. Each motivation requires a different routine.
Overprotective
Frame the cockblocks objection as “overprotective.” While the most optimal frame would be that she’s a
lousy friend and selfish (which they won’t typically admit), we frame the objection as something we can
overcome. Once we get the cockblock to agree that she is just worried about the girl’s safety, all we need
to do is handle the safety objection. Use the next routine to handle it.
Protective
Guy: “Listen, I get it. Your friend is just protective, right?”
Girl: “Yeah”
Guy: “I understand. I have a little sister (or if you don’t have a sister you can say;
friend/cousin/friend’s sister) and when she was old enough, we started going out
together. At first it was fine. There weren’t any problems. Guys talked to her. I
would tell them to go away. “So many creepy guys here!” I’d tell her.
After some time, I became okay with guys talking to her, as I knew she could deal
with it. But I still needed to be protective. Make sure she was okay, you know?
So, I would go up and ask her if she was okay. However, I would do this every five
minutes. I’d keep checking in if she was OK, and eventually, the guy would leave.
Until one night, she got really drunk and started yelling at me. It was the first time
we had ever fought.“Leave me alone. I’m not a child! Stop treating me like I can
make my own decisions! Stop treating me like I’m worth nothing. You can have
fun and do what you want, why can’t I?”
Of course, I immediately became defensive “I’m just making sure you’re okay!” I
thought about it, though. I wasn’t just making sure if she was okay. I knew when
she needed help. I knew when she was uncomfortable and needed saving. And I
also knew when she was having a good time and when she liked the guy. I was
just being a dick. She was right. I could do what I wanted, and she never ruined my
fun.
From then on, I decided to change. I am still protective, and I still check on her, but
it’s no longer out of selfish interest. I simply come over and say, “Hi,” and meet the
guy. And you can tell. You know right away if a guy is super creepy and weird, or
someone you can trust.
More than that, I trust my sister. She’s a very smart, independent woman. I trust
her judgment. Now, if she meets a guy and wants to go home with him, she just
tells me where she’s going, puts on location and sends me a text when she gets
there.
Do you think your friend is just worried about your safety, or do you think maybe
she was a little like me? And more concerned about being uncomfortable seeing
you with guys? Perhaps your friend is jealous that you are having fun without
her?”
This whole story is aimed at parodying what the girl is experiencing. Letting her understand the exact
dynamic of what is going on and subtly encouraging her stand up to her friend.
Girl: “No, I think she is just worried.”
Guy: “Okay, let’s give her my address and put your phone on location, so she
doesn’t have to worry.”
Now if the safety objection has been met, the friend either lets the girl go with or not. If she does, then
perfect. If she doesn’t, you can now remind the girl that she isn’t concerned about safety at all. She is
doing the same thing that you used to; she is just a bad friend.
Call them out
This last method is something I learned from David Swift. I had never witnessed anything like this in my
life.
He completely called out the girl in front of everyone,
David: “You are a cockblock!” *Yelling and pointing*
David: “I can’t believe she’s doing this, AGAIN!”
By the end (of whatever the fuck was going on), his girl left her friend. They looked annoyed and upset,
but she left and went with David.
I didn’t know what just happened, but I knew I needed to learn more. The crew at Ultimate Man Project
recognize that we will forever be students. We know that you will never stop discovering and learning.
I sat down with David to talk about this technique and later set out to perfect it.
The first few times I attempted this, it went horribly wrong. I had friends angry at me, the looking at me
disgusted while siding with her cockblocking friend.
I started doubting, “Does the routine not work?”
Of course, it worked. I just needed more time to practice it.
This will apply to everything you learn from this book. You need to learn the principles behind the
routine. Next, understanding how to make it congruent with yourself and then calibrating to each specific
girl.
However, this technique is very advanced and challenging to learn. When you get it wrong, it blows out
the set. For this reason, I will try to explain the principles behind it and how to implement it. First, you
must master how to win the group over and get proficient with the above techniques before trying this.
Body language
Identify and call out the early stages of cockblocking.
Guy: “Hey, stop it!” (To the cockblock)
Cockblock: *Confused*
Guy: “I can see what you’re doing.”
Cockblock: “What?”
Guy: “Look at your legs.” *Point to her legs*
Subconsciously, the cockblock will angle her body and legs towards the girl. In doing so, she might even
have her back slightly facing you or have a leg in between you and the girl.
Guy: “We are all standing here being friendly and social. Look. Our legs are all
open and pointing to the group, and you’re trying to cut me off.”
Girl: “What? No…”
Guy: “Yeah! Look, it’s a subconscious act. You are trying to cut people off from the
group so you can have your friend to yourself. It’s okay; we can all be friends here.
Come. Move your body like this…” *move her to a more open position, facing the
group*
Alternatively, she may be staring down her friend.
Guy: “Stop staring her down like that.”
Guy: “You’re putting so much pressure on her. Look, we are all being friendly here.
You actually make her uncomfortable when you do that.”
The cockblock will now look for support from her friend.
Cockblock: “I don’t make her uncomfortable!” (She does this while looking at her
friend for support.)
The girl will often hesitate, look down or away briefly. That’s because she knows. She is sick of her friend
doing this every single time they go out. And she doesn’t dare to say anything to her controlling friend.
But now, someone is finally sticking up for her… you!
Guy: “Oh! There it is! She didn’t say anything! I knew it. I bet she does this all the
time. This isn’t the first time!”
As you can imagine, this might get the girls very agitated. It creates a confrontation and awkward frame,
and pins the girls against each other.
Guy: “It’s true, though, isn’t it? When you speak to a guy, she usually puts pressure
on you like this, right? I mean, it might just be her being protective and not
realizing.”
This allows the girl to agree with by softening the blow and labeling it as protective.
Usually, the cockblock has a boyfriend. They know that they have to stay with their friends and can’t talk
to guys. For this reason, they don’t want their single friends to have fun without them.
Guy: “You have a boyfriend, don’t you?”
Cockblock: “Yeah.”
Guy: “Ahh, knew it!”
Cockblock: “What? Why?”
Guy: “Well, you can’t have any fun, right? I mean, you can’t go around talking to
any guys.”
Guy: “So, you don’t want your friend to have any fun either. It’s obvious. You just
have to sit here while she meets cool guys and enjoys herself. But you don’t want
that. You’re like the fun police.”
An interesting phenomenon takes place. As the cockblocks are called out, all the friends are relieved and
happy. Someone is finally standing up to the bully in the group. With the newfound support, the girls
often argue and ultimately agree with you.
Alternatively, the cockblock is so ashamed that she does anything to ensure she doesn’t look like a
cockblock. She will back off and not get in the way. It is the ultimate anti-frame.
Either way, it’s a success.
← Previous Next →

14 - Friend Objection - UMP University

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

14 - Friend Objection - UMP University

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

30/05/2020 Friend Objection – UMP University

  Go to Course Home  Complete Lesson

Deal with Cockblock

Objection: “I came with my friends, and I feel bad leaving them.”

Guy: “It’s okay. They can come with us if they want.”

Objection: “I can’t. I’m going back to my friend’s house.”

Find out further logistics.

Guy: “Why are you staying there?”

Girl: “I live far away” / “We are doing XYZ tomorrow.”

Objection: “I can’t. my friends are coming back to my house.”

Objection: “We came together, so we have to leave together.”

Guy: “Who came up with this rule?”

Try to find out what friend will be the biggest obstacle.

Girl: “We all did.”

Guy: “Why do you think they/she created this rule?”

The answer is usually around a safety concern.

Girl: “We want to make sure we are all safe.”

Using the “Confirm diagnosis” strategy to create commitment and consistency.

Win the friends over

It is your responsibility to show them that you can be trusted.

friends approve of you.

Friends: “Yes, she’s amazing!”

Girl: “Of course!”

Later, ask them for more help.

She said, she said

Confirm the diagnosis with the girl

Girl: “Yeah, if they are okay with it.”

A definite and affirmative “Yes”;

Girl: “That’s fine. We don’t mind at all.”

Convey this message back to my girl without the passive-aggressive tonality.

Girl: “Really?!” Or ”No, they didn’t!”

Cockblock Friend: “She’s not going with you.”

Guy: “Listen, I get it. Your friend is just protective, right?”

Girl: “No, I think she is just worried.”

Call them out

He completely called out the girl in front of everyone,

David: “You are a cockblock!” *Yelling and pointing*

David: “I can’t believe she’s doing this, AGAIN!”

I started doubting, “Does the routine not work?”

Of course, it worked. I just needed more time to practice it.

Identify and call out the early stages of cockblocking.

Guy: “Hey, stop it!” (To the cockblock)

Guy: “I can see what you’re doing.”

Guy: “Look at your legs.” *Point to her legs*

Girl: “What? No…”

Alternatively, she may be staring down her friend.

Guy: “Stop staring her down like that.”

But now, someone is finally sticking up for her… you!

Guy: “You have a boyfriend, don’t you?”

Guy: “Ahh, knew it!”

Cockblock: “What? Why?”

Either way, it’s a success.

You might also like

David: “You are a cockblock!” Yelling and pointing

Guy: “Look at your legs.” Point to her legs