Bedani Timalsina

Woelke

IB English HL

March 22, 2024

Reflection

When revising my old handwriting essay that I wrote sophomore year in AP Lang, I

focused on improving the clarity and commentary of my work. Before, I had slight commentary

however it wasn’t clear to the reader why I used the evidence that I did. Throughout my years of

writing in highschool, this was something I always struggled with, my commentary. When given

an opportunity to revise any essay, my first go to step would be to find my evidence and add

more commentary and analysis to get my message across to readers. In my original essay, I

touched on how handwriting instruction helps with brain development, however I revised it to be

more complex and go even deeper and discuss how it helps cognitive development and

connected this theme throughout multiple paragraphs. My deeper analysis compared to my

original writing illustrates the improvement I have made overtime with my commentary in my

writings. One other thing I improved in my writing was my formality and tone. I would use

words like “stuff” and “things” when referring to certain aspects of handwriting instruction,

which I changed and replaced with whatever I was discussing in the essay. As I’ve grown as a

writer, I’ve learned how to improve my professionalism by not including certain informal words.

By changing these words, not only did I improve my professionalism but I also made my writing

more coherent and concise because readers might not always understand what “stuff” or “things”

I am referring to in my writing. Overall throughout my high school career in writing,

commentary and clarity have been my two main struggles and focuses, so when revising this
essay I made sure that I put more energy and focus into those aspects of my revisions and

writing.