Bad analysis

Worksheet

Read the poem 'Down the streams the swans all glide' by Spike Milligan and the bad
analysis of it by Stew Dent. What kinds of errors does Stew Dent make in his
unbelievably bad analysis of a rather horrible poem? Annotate Stew's work and identify
what he does poorly. Make a list of cardinal sins of textual analysis. Compare your list to
the one provided on this page.

Down the stream the swans all glide

By Spike Milligan

Down the stream the swans all glide;

It's quite the cheapest way to ride.
Their legs get wet,
Their tummies wetter:
I think after all
The bus is better

Bad analysis

This is the most greatest unique poem ever written. It appeals to pathos. And it
appeals to logos. This poem uses lots of literary terms. This is to help its reader
understand its meaning and he/she wants to understand.

The poem starts with a title. This is important because most poems have titles. This
title is interesting because it is also the same line as the first line of the poem. It
appeals to pathos and logos. This repetition is to get the attention of the reader as
now he/she/they will want to read on.

Now into the poem. At this point the reader is full of anticipation. Will it be a good
poem, or a sad one? Happy or miserable? Now the reader can hardly stand the
tension and he/she/they/it is keen to read on to find out what is going to happen. Upon
reading the first word “down” the reader immediately feels a sense of foreboding. It
appeals to Argos. Down can have many negative connotations, not in the least that it
contrasts ‘up’ and can also suggest “downishness”. Next they encounter “the stream”.
This suggests water and is a biblical illusion to Moses and the Ark, especially as we
know what is going to happen next which is dramatic irony as there is going to a be a
swan. This makes the reader happy, as the Ark is a positive idea. Moses is also
important because he led people through the flood at the wedding feast of Canine and
so this is also an illusion to the bible which was written by Jesus.
The use of the words “the Swan” is now introduced. The reader now sees the
alliteration and the sibilance of the ‘s’ sound in ‘stream’ and ‘swans’. The ‘s’ sound
makes the reader worried as the ‘s’ sound can be quite threatening. The effect of this
is to help the reader to understand what is going on. This makes the reader very
happy, as he/she/it/they likes to understand what is happening.

Then we have the words “all glide” which is a metaphor for flight. This helps the
reader to understand what is going on because it really appeals to pathos. At this
point the reader feels light and almost as if he/she/it/they/other were floating.

The next line says “the cheapest way to ride” which is zoomorphic personification as it
makes the swan seem human as only humans ride on buses whilst animals live in
zoos. Another example of personification is “cheapest” as only humans have money.
This makes the reader worried because the swan is not a human, yet has human
qualities. This helps the reader to understand what is going on.

The next two lines use enjambment which is where two lines are put together using
Caesar. This appeals to pathos, logos and argos. This helps the reader to really
understand what is going on. Now the reader feels very positive because of the
humorous use of language with the word ‘tummies,’ which is short for stomach.

Finally, the last two lines use juxtaposition by comparing buses to swan. This makes
the reader feel calm and relaxed. They are now able not only to understand the poem,
but to really understand the poem. He/she/it/they/other/(s)he/s’he/hse is very happy to
have read the poem.

By Stew Dent

Cardinal sins of textual analysis

● [delete this and write your list of cardinal sins of textual analysis here]
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