Imre Eigerman

Mid Year Reflection

During this semester I have strengthened my writing skills from the many assignments I

have completed. A certain area I have improved are my topic paragraphs, especially my thesis

statements. An example of this is the noticeable progression in terms of the topic paragraph from

my summer reading assignment which we wrote before school started up to my Into The Wild

essay. Summer Reading assignment intro paragraph: “Being an American is often simply defined

as one who possesses American citizenship, however in actuality one who embodies American

values and pursues the American dream is equally American, regardless of citizenship. In the

novel Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue, This belief is demonstrated by the Jonga family,

whom in pursuit of the American dream and embodying American ideals, become Americans

themselves” (Eigerman). The topic paragraph in my summer reading assignment did have some

strong points, like how the language it used was clear, and it took a visible stance the reader

could understand. However, it lacked the depth to really present a stronger background for my

essay because it was only two sentences. Likewise, which sentence the thesis statement was, was

extremely unclear because the first sentence presents a clear viewpoint but not one that

establishes the goal of relating it to Behold The Dreamers and the second brings up the

characters in the book and vaguely references that original viewpoint. The topic paragraph of my

Into the Wild essay demonstrates improvement from those previous weak points displayed in my

summer reading essay, as well as major growth as a writer. Into the Wild topic paragraph: “How

can authors shape the reader's perspective of a character by including quotes that influenced that
character's ideology? Chris Mcandless was a young man who left society and ventured across

North America for two years, often living in the wilderness and relying on hitching rides from

strangers, McCandless met his unfortunate end when he starved to death in the Alaskan

wilderness in 1992, his legacy however lived on, with his story becoming well known. Author

John Krakuer includes epigraphs from Thoreau in order to shape a perspective of Chris

McCandless as an idealouge who left society in order to pursue a pure life of solitude and

harmony with nature” (Eigerman). In the first sentence I ask a rhetorical question to provoke

thought in the reader, as well as hint to the subject of the essay. I then provide clear background

information on Chris McCandles, in order to give context for my thesis. My thesis meets the

standard for this class because it establishes a multilayered claim that has complexity to it since I

spoke about how epigraphs from Thoreau shape the readers' perspective of author Jon Krakuer’s

characterization of Chris McCandless in his book rather than just McCandless himself.

Although I have improved as a writer since we started school in September, a skill that I

still struggle with sometimes is analysis. A piece of work that I can reflect on in order to show

that I have room for improvement in terms of my analysis, is my argument essay: The Downside

of the Digital Age on Adolescents. The analysis after the first evidence in my first body

paragraph gives an example specifically. “Because kids spend so much of their day sitting or

lying down while on their screens they aren't being active and therefore burning much less

calories than they are eating each day. Therefore, they are gaining weight, because they are in a

calorie surplus. While kids do need to be in a calorie surplus because they are growing at a rapid

rate and need to gain weight, nonetheless, the physical inactivity caused by excessive technology

use will make them gain much more weight in body fat rather than in muscle, healthy tissue or

stronger bones that would be created from physical activity”. (Eigerman) Although I did provide
a lot of useful information, my analysis wasn't really analysis because I was presenting new

information rather than actually analyzing prior evidence. Due to this, that analysis section does

not meet the standard of this class.

My goal for semester 2 is to improve my analysis skills, since they are the area that needs

improvement most. I can achieve this goal by simply writing more and putting emphasis on extra

effort on my analysis sections, asking Mr.Smith for feedback on it, revising it until I get it as

close to perfect as possible, and then repeating the process. Working on this skill will improve

my writing overall because analysis is key to proving your thesis, which is the goal of every

essay.