VENGEANCE WITH A KISS

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KI BRIGHTLY
M.D. GREGORY
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Vengeance with a Kiss © Ki Brightly and M.D. Gregory

All rights reserved. No portion of Vengeance with a Kiss may be reproduced in any form or by any
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case of brief quotations in articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publishers, Ki
Brightly and M.D. Gregory. Copyright protection extends to all excerpts and previews by the author
included in this book.
This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either
the products of the authors’ imaginations or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade
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Credits or It Takes a Team to Raise a Book

Line Editing by Jennifer Griffin at Marked and Read.

Authenticity Reading by Emily Kayoko Walch.
Early Reading by Trezlen Drake, Julie Hanson, Shelby de Jesus, Shelby Holder, Lucky Barnes, Katie
Phoenix, Chandra Niklewski, Jo McCorkell, Robin Chrusniak, Suzanne Irving, Kortland Wood,
Lauren Van Netta, Callan Spicher, and Denise Westra.
First Round Editing, Copy Editing, Proofing, and Editing Coordination by Kiyle Brosius.
Japanese Translations by Emily Kayoko Walch, Naomi Aoki and her son, Kary Su, Saya and her
lovely husband Zen. Thank you for all your help!
Basketball Accuracy and Early Reading by Kia.
E-book Formatting by Meg Bawden.
Cover Design by Cormar Covers.
Photography by Xram Radge.
The Cover Model is Gustavo Daisuke.

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 CONTENTS

Note by Authors

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Epilogue

The New Gothenburg World

The Vanheim World

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 Revenge is the Name of the Game

Yukio Hinode wasn’t a bad guy, but he’d had enough. Alexander Carrington
was a nightmare. Everywhere Yukio went, he was there—in college classes,
on the basketball court, and around campus. When bullying turns into a
physical fight, Yukio knows he has to come up with a plan to end this.
Then, he catches sight of Alexander’s father, and damn, but he looks good.
An evil, perfect strategy forms. It’s time to go on the offensive.

Life Cracked Open

Dr. Micah Carrington loved his routine. Each day he taught classes,
went to the library, and then drove home. Occasionally he would talk to his
son—or try. Their relationship was rocky. When Micah was lonely, he
thought about what it might be like to be with a man who cared for him, but
he didn’t have the courage to try anything different. Then, one day a
breathtaking man notices him, and it’s terrifying, but when the stranger
smirks in his direction, he can’t help but smile back.

A War of Hearts

It doesn’t take Yukio long to realize he messed up. Micah agrees to date
him. They click instantly, and now Yukio is stuck with a horrible problem—
he cares about the father of his worst enemy, and he refuses to lose Micah.
Staying with Micah never factored into Yukio’s plans, and now that he
wants to keep him, he has no clue how he will fix this. Will he be able to
figure out a new course of action, one that involves owning Micah’s heart?
Or will their relationship be the final casualty in the battle?

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 NOTE BY AUTHORS

One of the characters in this book has ASD (Autism). We chose symptoms
for him that we personally experience. Please remember that symptoms
vary between people, and when it comes to ASD, it’s like throwing
symptoms in a bowl, mixing them, and pulling random ones out when
someone with ASD is born. Autistic people have a range of symptoms they
contend with. For example, Meg (M.D.) hates light because it hurts her eyes
and she loves the darkness, while Ki hates the dark and likes to have lights
on.
Please remember to always be kind to everyone in this world because
you don’t know what they’re going through.
Lots of love,
Xx
M.D. Gregory

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 JAPANESE WORD LIST

There are a few Japanese words in Vengeance with a Kiss. For ease of
reading, we are making a short list here with definitions and pronunciations,
but we will also employ the X-Ray feature for the Kindle version. If you tap
the word or Japanese sentence in the e-book, you will see the definition.

Chichi – This word is a formal way to say father when speaking to others
about your father. The phonetic pronunciation is chee-chee.

Hanii – This word means honey. The phonetic pronunciation is han-ee.

Ojiichan – This word means grandfather. The phonetic pronunciation is oh-

jee-chan.

Oyaji – This word means father, but it is also used by members of the
yakuza to talk about their boss. The phonetic pronunciation is oh-ya-jee.

Otousan – This word is a polite way to say father. The phonetic

pronunciation is oh-toe-san.

Yamero – This word means stop. The phonetic pronunciation is yam-air-o.

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 1

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 YUKIO HINODE

I was going to kill this fucking pathetic excuse for a human being .
Alexander—don’t call me Alex—smirked down at me over his shoulder,
then slammed the classroom door in my face. I slapped the white cement-
block wall. I’d been trying my best to ignore this asshole since I’d been
admitted to New Gothenburg State last year as a sophomore when I’d
transferred here from California. We’d just started this semester, and things
had already gotten to the point where I was ready to flip shit.
The issue? Alexander fucking hated me.
The reason? Unknown.
To make things even better, we somehow shared every goddamned
class, and we were on the same teams—basketball and baseball.
He was a fucking curse.
With my blood boiling, I yanked open the door and stalked along the
hall, barely seeing anything around me or feeling my books in my arms
until I reached the glass doors that led outside. I made it into the fresh air,
but the cool autumn breeze did nothing to calm me down. Alexander
lumbered along the sidewalk in front of me. He was fucking huge—yeti tall
—which attracted attention from everyone around him. People, especially
girls, stopped to give him flirty smiles and longing looks.
I wanted to scream at each and every one of them that he was a waste of
space.
Anger thumped in my temples and my heartbeat drummed in my ears. I
threw my books to the sidewalk and tossed aside my book bag, not caring
where anything landed. I rushed forward and shoved Alexander. He swung
around to glare down at me, and when he focused on my face, a sick
fucking smile twisted up the corners of his mouth.
“What is your problem, dickhead?” I snarled, poking his chest. He
glanced down and seemed to take stock of the tattoos and solid metal rings
on my fingers.
A few seconds passed while we glared at each other, then a sneer took
over his face and he pushed me. I’d been expecting the retaliation and took
a step back, moving with him so he didn’t get any leverage on me. I crossed
my arms. The jerk blinked as if he’d expected me to sprawl out backward
on my ass, but he hadn’t gotten up early enough to pull one over on me.
I laughed at him, making sure it was as obnoxious as possible, and his
face flushed. He wasn’t unattractive, with a hard jawline and unusual,
smoky gray eyes, but the way he acted made him disgusting.
“My problem—” He took a step toward me. “—is that you’re fucking
ugly, and I’m sick of looking at you.” He gave me a smarmy smile that he
really couldn’t pull off.
Snorting, I shook my head. “Tell me you’re jealous without telling me
you’re jealous. Oh wait, you just did.” I rolled my eyes.
His face flushed a deeper shade of red, and I’d never felt so satisfied in
my entire life.
“Now—” I planted my hands on my hips and winked at him. “—you
could say I’m a smug prick, and I would agree with you.” I reveled in the
way he bared his teeth, real delight creeping into my heart where it made
me warm in a way that I knew was wrong—but I fucking loved. “People
have been telling me I look good since I was born. I popped out of my
mom, and they couldn’t get enough of me.”
Alexander opened his mouth, but I held up a finger, and to my complete
amusement he snapped his lips together.
“No, no, I’m serious! My mom had me modeling baby clothes and shit.
I did that crap until I was about ten and got sick of it. The camera loves
this.” I flashed him my best toothy grin. “I know I look good.”
Rage passed across his face, so of course, I tilted my chin and blew him
a kiss.
He started toward me with his fists raised, and my blood pumped
through my veins as the excitement of a good fight smacked my gut. My
dad had always wanted me to be a boxer, and he’d made sure I knew a few
moves. Finally, we were going to fucking do this. Yes! I widened my stance
and got ready, but first I whipped my shirt off so he could get a good look at
my tattoos while we duked this out. He hesitated when he took in some of
my artwork—half of it wasn’t very pleasant, which still gave my mom fits.
My dad thought they were great.
“Come on, Alex. Don’t be afraid. I’m a foot shorter than you.” I stuck
my tongue into the corner of my mouth and waggled my eyebrows, doing
everything I could to get him to take the first shot, so I would have an
excuse to give him a beatdown.
Alexander stomped in like Bigfoot and swung, but he was heavy fisted
and didn’t move comfortably. All I had to do was back up to dodge the
blow. He swung again, and this time he caught my side because his arms
were long, but it was a bad hit and didn’t hurt much.
“Tennis players punch harder, dude.” I laughed and popped him on the
jaw.
He stumbled backward, holding his face.
A piercing whistle stopped us. I sighed, dropping my hands as Professor
Charbonneau ran across the grass past a couple of occupied stone picnic
tables nearby. Everyone was staring at me and Alexander, so I waved,
which got some laughter in return. The professor was a huge man—taller
than Alexander—with brown hair that was longer on top. A silver streak on
the left side gave him a distinguished presence. Yeah, Professor
Charbonneau looked good, and I’d had a lot of time to stare at him because
he taught most of the entry-level accounting courses I’d taken last semester.
He knew both of us well.
I cringed inside. Just my fucking luck. Bending down, I snatched up my
shirt, then put it back on while he glared at us. I grabbed my books and bag
next while he sputtered and seemed to be trying to decide how he wanted to
yell at us.
Alexander ducked his head and a brand-new red flush took over his
face.
“No. No. No. No!” Professor Charbonneau finally spouted, while
waving his hands. “Damn it, Alexander, I expect better from you.” He
glared, and I frowned because I got the idea that the professor knew my
archrival, and not in the way he was a mentor to me, but rather personally.
“Are you all right, Yukio?” he asked, critically scanning my body.
My pride was hurt, so I huffed and rolled my eyes. “As if he could do
anything to me.”
 Professor Charbonneau thinned his lips and glared between us. “Follow
me to my office, now.” He marched along the sidewalk and took another
path until we reached a long, low brick building that reminded me of
something from the seventies. I rushed around him and opened the door
with a smile, and he gave me a small one in return, which had Alexander
growling under his breath as he slid past me and met my gaze.
Aw, poor cranky baby. Get a life.
With a sigh, Professor Charbonneau slammed the door to his office once
we were in it, then stomped around to his desk. He pointed at the chairs
near us, and I reluctantly sank into one while Alexander did the same.
Professor Charbonneau puffed out his cheeks and adjusted his chair, so
it was slightly higher than it had been, all the better to glare. “Your father
would be beside himself to see you fighting,” he said to Alexander. Okay,
so they weren’t strangers. Clearly the prof knew Alexander’s dad. “And do
you have any idea what something like this could look like for him? He’s
up for tenure this year. Do you want to ruin that? That’s a very big step in
an academic’s career.”
Alexander dropped his chin to his chest but continued to glare at me out
of the corner of his eye.
I pouted my lips in his direction.
He sneered.
I sat up straight as Professor Charbonneau turned his attention toward
me.
“Yukio!”
I winced. “Yes, Professor?”
He gave me a stern look. Luckily, I was immune to them. “You are one
of the best students in the business and accounting majors. It would be a
shame to see you kicked out of basketball and tennis—”
“Baseball. I’m on the basketball and baseball teams. I play tennis for
fun,” I added helpfully.
He sighed, but a smile played across his lips, and I knew I’d already
won. “And baseball because you two can’t figure out how to get along. You
are an adult. Both of you are. You’re damned lucky I’m the one who spotted
your little fiasco. Fighting is assault,” he said, then pointed between us. “It’s
a crime.”
Dredging up my best apologetic look, I aimed it directly at him, but I
wasn’t sure I pulled it off because I couldn’t stop myself from glaring at
Alexander when he huffed at me. I kicked at his stupid foot because he’d
sprawled when he sat and it was next to mine. He kicked me back and
connected hard enough that there was a noise, and Professor Charbonneau
leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed.
“That’s it. I’m calling your father.” He stared at Alexander.
“No,” he said with a groan and dropped his head back. He sat up
straighter and scowled. “Please don’t. Dad has enough to worry about
without this.” He began to stand. “I’ll just go—”
“Sit!” Professor Charbonneau snapped and pointed at the floor.
Alexander listened like a well-trained puppy, and I snickered under my
breath. Curiosity had me staring at his face as it contorted into several
emotions before ending on misery. This was new. I hadn’t thought he cared
about anything except making my life terrible.
The professor turned to me and smiled. “Yukio, if you promise never to
do anything like this again, I won’t go to the dean.”
Fuck, I wasn’t stupid. I knew a gift when someone was handing it to
me. I nodded. “Yes, sir. But he slammed a door in my face. He’s been
irritating me on purpose since we met.” Anger burned like a hot coal in my
gut and a new wave of potent fury washed through me.
“Don’t act as if you don’t get your digs in when you can,” Alexander
snapped.
“Enough,” Professor Charbonneau said, sounding tired. He raised his
eyebrows at me.
“I promise never to get into a fistfight on campus again.” I put as much
sweetness as possible into my words and gave the professor my best smile.
He grinned back, almost as if he couldn’t help himself.
Alexander growled.
Professor Charbonneau turned away toward a landline phone parked on
the right side of his desk, and I blew Alexander a kiss, watching with glee
as his hands opened wide, then clenched into fists.
What are you going to do about it, fucker? I mouthed my question, and I
wasn’t sure if he understood me or not, but he flushed beet red from his
neck all the way to the tips of his ears.
“Hey, Micah. This is Cass. Yeah, can you come to my office? Alex got
into some trouble you need to know about.”
“He prefers Alexander,” I leaned forward to say, making my words
honey sweet.
 Professor Charbonneau smiled at me, and Alexander looked ready to
toss me through a window. The professor covered the bottom of the handset
and nodded toward the door. “You can go, Yukio. Stay out of trouble.”
“Of course, sir. Absolutely, sir. Thank you, sir.” I clutched my books in
one hand, slung my bag over my left shoulder, and backed away toward the
door with Alexander glaring at me out of the corner of his eye the whole
time. As the door closed, I snickered, but a shiny, intriguing thought hit me.
What kind of douchebag created that asshat?
Biting the inside of my bottom lip, I glanced down the hall. There were
a couple of students waiting outside of Mrs. Forsythe’s room for office
hours—she taught macroeconomics, and the class was awful. I casually
strolled over to join them. The girls smiled at me and went back to staring
at their phones, and no one asked what I was doing, so I leaned against the
wall and waited. I had to satisfy my curiosity.
All knowledge was useful in a war like this.
About ten minutes went by and I began to get antsy, but I held myself
together, flipping open my Business Admin book to pretend I was doing
something other than staring at the hallway. I glanced up from the page and
my stomach warmed at the sight of a tall man with honey brown curls
strolling along, glancing at some papers in his hand as he went. His face
was drawn in concern, so I figured he must be Alexander’s father, and the
height was a giveaway, too.
When he glanced up at me with wide, sad eyes, our gazes clashed, and
my breath caught. He had smoky gray eyes like Alexander, but on this man
they were soul piercing, and they went well with the dip in his chin and his
soft rounded cheeks. Instantly, I felt bad because he really looked worried.
Professor Charbonneau had called him Micah. I liked that name.
Micah blinked and seemed to realize I was staring at him. He stumbled
and caught himself on the wall, and a blush washed across his cheeks, but
unlike his son, the expression was cute on him. I’d gotten this type of
reaction out of guys who found me attractive in the past. He flashed me a
tiny grin and a shrug before he opened the door to Professor Charbonneau’s
office and went inside. A delicious heat had settled into my stomach during
the interaction.
Fuck, he was hot and adorable, if you appreciated geeky guys—which I
did. And best of all, he didn’t seem anything like his son. My gut dropped.
Ugh, Alexander probably walked all over that man.
 Snapping my book closed, I had an epiphany that made me feel like I
should be able to lift directly off the ground and fly away. My dick tingled
and I was feeling pretty good about life. Wouldn’t it be funny if Alexander
walked out of his bedroom for breakfast some morning soon and saw me
kissing his dad over coffee?
Or better yet, fucking him on the table. A small moan slipped out of me.
That would be the type of revenge money couldn’t buy.
It would be flawless.
Humming, I waved goodbye to the girls, who gave me warm smiles in
return, then walked out of the building. I had some planning to do.

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 2

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 DR. MICAH CARRINGTON, PHD IN ANCIENT GREEK HISTORY

I was at a complete and utter loss about what to do next .

Alex, my son, was my opposite. While I preferred books and quiet
afternoons, he liked sports and cruising through life with adrenaline
pumping through his veins. He reminded me of everything I wasn’t and
everything I’d once wanted to be—like my brother, Phillip. It was as though
we were two beings existing on different planets, not even revolving around
the same sun, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
Sometimes I thought it might’ve been easier to be a father during the
ancient times in Greece. At the age of three, a Greek child—a son—was
given his first sip of wine during the festival of Dionysus, and at age six he
was sent away to school where he learned how to read, write, do math, play
sports, and master a musical instrument. All of this was to make him a well-
rounded young man in society, something I’d failed to produce with Alex,
who I’d named after the most famous Greek of them all. I’d sent him to a
military school, hoping to give him the best education I could, while also
receiving knowledge about other attributes like leadership and friendship.
Instead of helping him, I’d ignited an anger toward me that I didn’t
understand.
“There you fucking go again!” Alex’s furious tone dragged me out of
my thoughts, and I glanced at him, confused. He stood beside me in the hall
outside of Cass’s office, his eyes alight with the kind of rage I was used to
seeing in my own father’s gaze when he glared at me. Alex looked like
Dad, too, because I had Dad’s brown curls and gray eyes, and when I stared
at him, I felt the familiar stirrings of fear that clenched low in my abdomen.
But this wasn’t Dad, it was Alex, my son.
“What?” I blinked at him.
Alex laughed, but not in amusement, and he threw his hands up in
frustration. “You go off in your little fantasyland and forget I’m right here
in front of you.”
Did I? What were we talking about before I got lost in my thoughts?
Right. We’d only left Cass’s office after he’d informed me of the fight Alex
had found himself in. Cass had let him off with a warning, then lectured
him some more, and during the entire meeting, Alex hadn’t looked at me
once.
Different.
It was the only word to explain our personalities. Sometimes I
wondered if he was mine, and that maybe. . . . Maybe Candy had slept with
my brother instead. At least then the dissimilarities could be explained.
Alex and Phillip had always gotten along well because they were into the
same hobbies.
“Dad!” Alex’s sharp, angry tone brought me out of my thoughts again,
and I blinked at him. A pair of young women walked past us, and they
glanced between us with a giggle. I’d been told more than once that I
looked more like Alex’s brother than his father. When he was born, I was
seventeen. Too young. I was barely mature at that age, but I’d been hellbent
on proving something to my own father.
Alex stared at me with furrowed eyebrows, cheeks flushed red in anger,
and that expression was the same one Dad gave me when he got annoyed.
“Are you stupid, boy?” he’d asked on more than one occasion.
I exhaled and made my brain focus on my son. I wasn’t my father, and
he wasn’t, either. “Why did you get into a fight with this other student,
Alex?”
His nostrils flared.
I’d said the wrong thing, but what?
“Don’t call me that.”
“Alex?” I frowned. I’d called him that nickname since he was a baby.
“I hate that name. Don’t. It’s A or Alexander. You know that.” He
crossed his arms and his cheeks flamed redder.
Did I? I couldn’t remember. I snagged my bottom lip between my teeth
and flinched. “Alexander, tell me what happened.”
 “Nothing. Forget it.” He let out a huff.
“Alex, I—”
“It’s Alexander! For fuck’s sake.” He spun on his heel and went to walk
off, but I grabbed his shoulder, dragging him back. He batted away my hand
and his glare returned fiercely. I was failing him again, and I didn’t know
how to fix it. “This is why Mom left us. You don’t listen.” He jabbed a
finger in my direction.
No, she left me because she found me watching gay pornography. When
she’d demanded an explanation, I gave her the only one I could—I was gay.
And furthermore, I imagined myself getting fucked by another man.
“You’re always so clinical. Everything is an experiment to you. We were
an experiment to you.”
My heart hurt, the words digging a sharp blade in deep. “I’m not a
scientist.”
He laughed again and this time it was meaner. The sound was my father.
I hated that I’d let Alex spend any time with him at all. “No, it’s worse, you
have a doctorate in ancient history. Instead of focusing on the present,
you’re too busy thinking about a past that no one cares about anymore.”
“I care about it.” A warning sign flashed through my mind, but I
couldn’t stop my mouth from moving, saying stupid things that were
making the situation worse.
“Argh! You missed the point, Dad!” He stared at me incredulously. Or
maybe that expression was disbelief. I didn’t blame him. Phillip had always
said I didn’t have the social skills to live in society. He’d said the words to
hurt me, but he wasn’t wrong. People and I never got along. I wasn’t stupid,
I picked up on cues when I was focused enough, but other human beings
mentally exhausted me. They were too much. They lied on purpose. They
said things that weren’t true and knew it. It was a mess.
“Alexander—”
“We’re done. Next time I get into a fight, I’ll make sure they don’t call
you.” He didn’t wait for me to respond, storming off down the long
corridor. All I could do was watch him, my heart hurting as I thought about
what to say, but it was too late. He was gone.
Sighing, I went in the opposite direction, saying hello to a couple of
students I recognized from my classes. I left the building and headed to my
car, replaying the conversation over in my head as I attempted to figure out
what I could’ve said differently.
 When I reached my lime green Kia Forte, I stared out at the lawn of the
college in front of me. Students filled the area, some walking at a steady
pace while others stalked like they were on a mission. Some had spread
picnic blankets under the trees, their books splayed in front of them as they
studied. This was an environment I understood and loved. From year to
year, it didn’t change much. Education had always given me a home I’d
never had before because it afforded me a chance to fit in with other people.
There were academics out there like me, drawn into the world of theses and
dissertations.
I sighed and grabbed my phone from my pants pocket, then stared at the
screen. I considered calling Candy, but Alex hadn’t forgiven her for leaving
us, and they barely talked. At least I’d tried—Candy hadn’t. She’d
remarried and had two children, and Alex was forgotten, as though he was
nothing more than old shoes she’d donated. Calling her would only end in a
debacle.
Once I got behind the wheel, I dropped my phone into the middle
console and let my head fall back against the headrest. There was nothing
else I could do but let Alex cool down. He’d always been a hothead, but he
came around after a few days. With him no longer living with me, he had
the space he needed and so did I.
What a disaster. I groaned.

The next day I was back on campus in my office hard at work. I’d spent the
night before having dinner alone—chicken and pasta that I’d cooked earlier
—watched a couple of episodes of Vikings: Valhalla on Netflix while
complaining about the accuracy, and then went to bed. Alone. I was always
alone. Ever since Candy had left us, my life had revolved around raising
Alex and pursuing my doctorate, then working hard to get tenure. It was
difficult to find time to get laid, let alone go on a date, so I hadn’t done
either. . . leaving me an anal virgin. And how ridiculous was that? Me, a gay
man, had slept with a woman multiple times and had a son with her, but I’d
never had sex with another man. The most I’d done was use a dildo on
myself.
 I shook my head and leaned closer to the paper in front of me. The
words were beginning to blend together and my brain turned fuzzy. I
slapped my pen down on my desk and fell back into my chair. Exhaustion
weighed heavily on my shoulders, and even though it was only halfway
through the day, my thoughts were still stuck on Alex.
Who had he fought and why?
He’d had a lot of issues in his life, but he’d never physically warred
with someone. Cass hadn’t told me any of the details, either, and I hadn’t
asked. I should.
A knock on the door tore me from my own mind and I straightened.
“Enter.”
Brandt Hardy, who was a lawyer, stuck his head in and waved.
Surprised, I stood and made my way around my desk to greet him at the
door. Brandt advised prelaw students and it wasn’t often I saw him in my
office, but I welcomed his visit. Like me, he loved what he did and enjoyed
taking the time to have a hearty discussion about intellectual topics. He was
also handsome, and I would have to be blind not to notice his chiseled jaw
and striking blue eyes—the brightest I’d ever seen—not that I paid much
attention to other people.
“Hi, Brandt.” I grinned, and as attractive as he was, I’d heard the rumors
about him. He was gay, too, but he was like me and preferred a more
submissive role. And I’d been told by a few of the other professors,
including Cass, that he also enjoyed bigger men, and considering he had
wider shoulders than I did, I had no chance. Due to both of our. . .
preferences, I didn’t see it working, so I hadn’t tried to get closer than
friendly with him.
“Hey.” Brandt chuckled and cocked his head as though he was surprised
to see me, which was weird considering he’d come to my office. “So, um, I
just ran into Dr. Handler, and he was beside himself. Apparently, you have a
class to teach and you’re not there?”
“I have. . . . Oh my gods!” I spun on my heel and checked the clock on
the wall.
1:05 p.m.
I was late for my class. I rushed to my desk, gathering the books I
would need for Mythology 101. The intro level courses were so easy to
teach I totally forgot about them.
 Brandt’s laughter grew louder, and I threw an embarrassed look over my
shoulder. Once I had the books, I ran out of my office, and he was nice
enough to close the door behind me. I called out a thank-you as I hurried
down the corridor. I turned the corner, then another. Shoot, I was so late. I
glanced down as I stepped on a pencil that went skittering away, then ran
into someone hard enough that my books went flying across the floor. Both
me and the man I’d collided with fell backward, landing on our asses.
I groaned, not paying attention to the other person as I shoved to my
knees, collecting my possessions as quickly as I could. Handler was the
head of the history department, and he was doing everything he could to
help me get tenure. If I missed a class, he would never forgive me. And I
would never absolve myself, either, because I’d worked too hard for this. I
needed it like I needed air.
“Here, let me help you.” The deep, soothing voice of a man made me
pause for a second to take in his appearance.
“Thank you. I’m. . . .” The beauty of the person in front of me surprised
me so much my apologies died on my lips. He couldn’t be much older than
Alex, probably around the same age, but he was breathtaking. Asian, he had
black hair dyed with violet tips, a pouty mouth, and multiple piercings and
tattoos. My gaze drifted to the beaded necklace around his throat, then to
his hand, which he held out to me with a book. He was wearing rings, too,
big chunky pieces of metal around slim fingers. My breath escaped my
chest like I’d been punched.
I snatched the book from him.
He frowned.
“Thank you.”
“I’m Yukio.” He flashed a bright, pleasant smile and fluttered his lashes
at me.
As naive as I was when it came to people, I wasn’t as stupid as Alex and
others liked to believe. I knew when I was being flirted with. It wasn’t the
first time a student had tried to charm me, and it wouldn’t be the last. I
didn’t remember Yukio from my classes, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in
one. He was probably trying to get a good grade.
“And I’m late.” I stood, leaning over to grab the last book—The Greeks
and Their Gods—and stalked around him, running the final distance to the
door of the only amphitheater-style lecture hall on campus. As much as I
wanted to glance back at him and see if he was still watching me, I
shouldn’t.
He was pretty and young, and men like him probably wanted an older
man to dominate and fuck them. Not that I had anything to say about it in
the negative because the gods knew I wanted the same thing. He was
probably too sweet for me, and I needed something different. The man in
my fantasies was assertive. This mystery man would hold me down as he
fucked into me, maybe even hurt me a little. Yukio wouldn’t do those
things.
Yet, as I got to the door, I stopped and glanced his way. He was still
there, staring, and when he saw me look, he smiled widely and waved.
I turned my head away and shoved into the lecture hall.
No, he wasn’t the man I craved.

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 3

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 YUKIO

T wo red maple leaves wafted down from the changing trees and
got caught in my hair. I shook my head to dislodge the bright foliage as my
feet thumped along on the dirt track that wound through the forest beside
campus. My purple sweats got tangled unpleasantly, and I tugged on the
waistband. The trail was about five miles long and made a big loop, which
wasn’t too bad for a quick workout. We were being timed, but I wasn’t
worried about it. There was no point in getting stressed because we weren’t
officially able to start basketball practices yet, so this was more like Coach
warming up to yelling at us to get in shape than an actual “requirement.”
He’d told us we were training out of the goodness of our hearts, but we
all knew damned well if we didn’t show up, he would make our lives hell in
a couple of weeks when official practices started in the middle of October.
“Slow down.” There was a whine in my friend Milo’s voice, but I
ignored him and shook my head. Alexander was ahead of me, at the back of
a pack of his buddies, and he kept glancing over his shoulder. If he would
ignore me, I would leave him alone, but he seemed to be incapable, and I’d
never met a fight I didn’t want to have, so we were stuck in this dance until
one of us won.
Or died.
It was difficult not to notice that his gray running shorts were giving
him a wedgie, and I hoped it was extra annoying. Smirking, I sped up,
taunting him. He moved faster to keep the distance between us.
There was a low growl from behind me and Milo finally popped up on
my right to run next to me while giving me some serious side eye. “What
are you doing?” he asked, in between dragging in air.
“Nothing,” I singsonged and winked at him. His shirt was tucked in the
back of his sweats, and the tattoos on his arms and chest gleamed with
sweat, even though it was a cool autumn morning.
He rolled his brown eyes. “You’ve never done nothing in your whole
life. You’re always into something.”
“You say this like you know me.”
He scowled.
“Yeah, yeah.” I ran my fingers over the piercings in my eyebrows.
Normally I took the curved metal out when I exercised, but this morning I’d
left them in, and I’d definitely noticed Alexander giving me a shitty look, as
if me being pierced was somehow an affront to early morning jogging. He
seemed to have a problem with everything I did. He’d given me the same
look when I’d shown up to classes with the tips of my hair dyed purple
three weeks ago.
The boy had a lot of fucking baggage.
Every time I discovered something new that irritated him, it was like
gasoline tossed on this fire raging between us. I’d never met anyone in my
life I wanted to piss off more, and it was probably bad that I was taking so
much joy in this, but I couldn’t stop.
Besides, he’d started this war.
And I was going to win with my ace-in-the-hole, super-secret nuclear
option. I got tingles thinking about Micah. Was there any way I could make
that big man scream Daddy while I fucked him? I wanted to record it and
send it to Alexander, special delivery over an intercom for everyone to hear.
Guilt bubbled in my gut. Micah wasn’t like Alexander. He seemed sweet.
Okay, maybe I wouldn’t do anything so public, but I would definitely rub
Alexander’s face in it when I succeeded.
“God fucking damn it,” Milo muttered as Alexander dropped back until
he was only running a few feet in front of us.
A thrill zipped through me. While I waited for the dickhead to work up
the balls to say whatever shitty thing was bouncing around in his skull, I
smirked and thought over ideas in mine. My first very subtle approach at
getting his father’s attention hadn’t really worked. Micah was hot but pretty
oblivious. I would need to step up my game.
And what if he didn’t like guys? Well, I would burn that bridge when I
crossed it, but I didn’t think I was wrong. He’d checked me out.
 Alexander dropped back even more, forcing Milo to slow down, which
he did while swearing a blue streak. Milo paced us, about three feet at my
back, which gave me the confidence to grin widely at Alexander. I had my
bestie right here, and Alexander’s pals were almost out of shouting range
now.
“You’re brave,” I said casually.
He bared his teeth at me and grunted, and now that I was looking at him
in the sunlight, his eyes were more blue than gray. Micah’s were much
prettier. “Why the fuck did you have to get me in trouble?” The shitty glare
he shot my way made me laugh, which caused a fantastic red flush to
spread up his neck to his face.
“Your memory isn’t exactly veridical, is it? You didn’t have to try to
punch me. You chose to fight. Therefore, you are your own worst enemy.”
He scowled at me.
I gave him the most innocent smile in my arsenal.
“I didn’t try. I did punch you.” He snarled as he stumbled and had to
right himself before he face-planted.
I picked up the pace.
He huffed, sticking next to me.
Lifting my tank top, I glanced down at my side, and I didn’t miss how
Alexander looked, too. I turned a little toward him. “Oh yeah? There’s no
mark there. Did you actually connect? I can’t tell. My little brother hits
harder than you. Asuka is five, by the way.”
Milo chuckled.
A whistle blasted behind us. The noise pierced my skull and set my
teeth on edge. “Boys! Run faster. You have an entire game to get through on
your feet. Bare minimum, that’s forty minutes of moving your ass. Go, go,
go!” Coach was rugged with a thick beard and lean like a wolf. He was
about my height and all muscle. His light blue shirt was nearly transparent
with sweat on the front and back, which showed off a finely sculpted
physique as he raced ahead of us, only to blow his whistle again, yelling at
the next group to get them to speed up.
Glancing back at Milo, I grinned at him.
“No.” He groaned, shaking his head.
I powered forward, and Milo was a good sport and kept up with me. We
left Alexander huffing and puffing behind us. He had longer legs, so in
theory he should’ve been able to run faster than us, but he must not have
kept up with training over the summer because he lumbered along and
flipped me off when I blew him a kiss over my shoulder.
If only he knew what I was contemplating doing, he wouldn’t be so
fucking full of himself. Laughing, I ran even faster.
“You’re gonna kill me, Yukio,” Milo said, swatting at my arm. “I can’t
keep up this pace.”
“Sure you can! Live fast or die,” I yelled at the top of my lungs, earning
some laughter from the group in front of us.
He groaned, but he was a good friend, so he kept up with me.
“Say I spent the last week stalking someone who likes to study a lot.
What do you think I should do to get their attention?” I glanced at Milo.
Sweat gleamed on his forehead and he swiped it away with the back of his
arm.
“How much do you like this guy?” Milo asked. His brow furrowed, as if
maybe he was having trouble thinking and running.
“I want to fuck him.”
He grunted and frowned, lifting his sunglasses off the top of his head to
plop them on his nose as we rounded a curve in the path that took us
through a meadow full of waving yellow flowers. We slowed down to
appreciate the view, and he swiped a bloom up, then tossed it in my face.
I batted the flower away and chuckled.
“Romance, my friend. Pick some of those. Sweets. Things to tantalize
the senses. Food is good because it can be homey or sexy. It just depends on
what you bring.” He found the fortitude to flash a smile, then winced and
held his side. I glanced over my shoulder, and Alexander had his head
down, forcing one foot in front of the other. He was losing ground, slipping
away into the distance.
“I don’t think this person would react well to something too over the
top.”
Milo smacked my arm and it stung.
“What the hell?” I grumped.
He smirked. “Use your judgment. Most people who hole up in the
library drink coffee.”
“But aren’t people picky about that stuff?” I asked, wrinkling my nose.
All I drank during school hours was water, bubble tea from a shop near the
outdoor mall, and energy drinks—so I had no clue.
 He shrugged. “There are only so many places on campus and around it
to get coffee. Do you know his name?” Milo’s eyebrows dove as he glanced
at me.
“Yeah.”
“Ask them to make it like he likes it.” He smiled at me. “Someone is
bound to know him.”
Coach’s whistle blasted somewhere ahead of us, and I rushed forward
with a burst of energy. “Let’s catch up with the practice czar. If we do that,
he’ll definitely give us a starting spot on the team.”
Milo whimpered but followed me as I forced my way around the group
of Alexander’s buddies, leaving them in the dust. I had a plan and shit to do
today, so I needed to get this workout over and done with. I wanted to make
sure everything was perfect for my attack this evening.
“Study with me tonight?” I elbowed Milo and sucked in deep lungfuls
of air, finally moving fast enough that talking was difficult.
He groaned. “Why? Are you going for perfect grades this semester?”
I glared.
He nodded, running with his hands cradling his head for a few seconds
as if the thought of studying was physically painful. “All right. Let’s put in
our five miles and get out of here.” He held out his fist and I bumped mine
against it. Then we started running for real.

Glancing around the cheerful, brightly lit library, I went through my mental
checklist. The built-in wooden shelves on this level made me feel like I was
in a much fancier school than ours happened to be, and I smiled while
tapping the tips of my boots on the floor. Okay, did I do everything I
should’ve? Piercings removed. I touched my eyebrow and nose. Yes, those
are gone. The earrings I had in were silver studs, so they wouldn’t scare
anyone. I had on a blue turtleneck that hid my neck tattoos, and I’d combed
my hair to the right in a style that my mother would love. Thinking about
her, I took a quick pic of myself and sent it to her phone. There, talk about
multitasking. I was doing great.
“Oh yeah. Killing it,” I said.
 Milo stared at me like I’d gone insane. I pulled my drumsticks out of
my back pocket and tucked them into my book bag while he poked around
on his Chromebook, not really studying.
“Wow, so who exactly are you trying to impress here?” He glanced
down my body at my nice black pants, then all around, but we were in a
spot to the side of the main aisle. I’d chosen a hideout that Micah wasn’t
likely to walk past when he went to the table he’d taken over three evenings
out of the last four.
“Never mind,” I said, snatching up the latte I’d already bought at
Lenore’s, the café near campus. “Watch my stuff and send me a text if you
see Alexander Carrington anywhere near here.”
Milo frowned at me but nodded, and with a deep breath, I wandered out
into the main aisle on the second floor to the area where I knew I would
find Micah. I was relieved when he came into view because I hadn’t been
one-hundred-percent certain he would be here.
He sat at a square table with three stacks of books teetering around the
workspace. His wide shoulders hunched as he leaned over a notebook. He’d
pushed his laptop off to the side, and he had a thick book spread open,
frowning down at it while he tapped a pair of cute red reading glasses up
the bridge of his nose. The window at his back was dark and the silver disk
of a half-moon rising made the scene surreal.
Fuck, he looks good. I checked my watch and hummed because it was
almost seven thirty, and from what I’d seen this week he wouldn’t stay
much longer.
Walking over to him, I kept a smile on my face, but he never glanced
up. I set the cardboard coffee cup on the table and scooted it toward him,
and he finally peeked at me over the top of his glasses with a frown.
“Um, what is this?” As he stared, I got lost studying his gray eyes. They
were really pretty. The longer I held his attention, the more he fidgeted in
his seat. A pink blush took over his cheeks, and I grinned at him.
“Cassandra at Lenore’s said that when you stop there, you drink this.
It’s an Earl Grey latte.” I didn’t have to force a smile anymore because he
made me feel happy when he cocked his head and gave me a cute, even
more confused look. I was surprised by how much I needed him to pick up
the cup. I wanted him to be excited that I’d brought a drink for him. I
rubbed the back of my neck, then dropped my hand because that would
flash my tattoos. I didn’t normally care about my body art—I love it, thanks
—but it didn’t go very far at making a good impression with an older guy
who was clearly afraid of tattoo needles.
“Who?” His bottom lip stuck out as he frowned.
“She has red curls and a Texas accent.”
“Oh, her.”
He pursed his lips and sighed, shoulders slumping. “It’s early in the
semester for this. Your grade can’t be that bad already. Just study harder.”
He slid the drink back toward me.
Pulling out a chair next to him, I picked up the cup and set it near his
elbow, then plopped on the seat. “I would like to think that if I was bribing
a professor for good grades, I could do a little better than one latte.” I
smiled at him, making sure he got the one that always made people stumble
over their words.
His face flushed a bright pink as he stared at my lips. After almost a
solid minute of him looking at me, he chuckled, gaze darting around until
his attention settled firmly on me again. I rested my chin on my fist.
Micah twisted the cup around on the table. “Sure, it isn’t much, but you
would be surprised the lengths some students will go to in order to simply
avoid studying.” He leaned back in his chair and glanced between the drink
and me, almost like he had no idea what he was doing. It was painfully
awkward and kind of adorable.
Grinning, I took the drink and moved it directly in front of him on the
table.
Micah gave me a long look, then picked up the cup. I held my breath as
he sipped, and his eyebrows flew high. “Thank you. It’s just the way I order
it.”
I snagged the pen lying in the crease of his notebook and twirled it
around before dragging the top along my cheek. He gasped out a small
breath that let me know he wasn’t as cool as he was playing it. “I do want
something from you, though.”
His Adam’s apple bounced and he cradled the cup with both hands, a
small frown settling on his very kissable lips. “I knew there had to be a
catch.” The sad note in his voice made me feel like a jerk, so I set the pen
down and patted his arm, then held up a finger.
“Just a small something.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”
 “I would like you to go out with me tomorrow night.” He began to
shake his head again, but I held up a hand, and he stopped. “My band is
playing here.” I tugged a small flier out of my pocket, with a QR code on
the front, and handed it to him. “Yukio Nights. I can hang out after we’re
done.”
“Is that an eponymous name?” He sipped his drink while his eyebrows
furrowed, then raised before dipping again, which made me want to laugh.
“No.”
“No? Why?”
“Are you certain this isn’t about grades?”
Stretching out, I rested my arms on the table and leaned toward him.
“Am I in any of your classes?”
He tilted his head and his gaze flitted around my face while he blushed
some more. “Uh, no?”
I snickered as Micah’s cheeks blazed brighter. “You have no idea if I am
or not, do you?” With a hum, I snatched the small flier from his hand and
turned it over. I used his pen to write my full name on the back, then slid it
toward him along with the pen. “There. If you don’t find my name on your
class lists, you have to promise to go out with me.”
His nostrils flared and his round cheeks puffed out. “What if this isn’t
your name?”
“You’re very suspicious.”
“I’m trying to figure out why you’re doing this,” he murmured, and my
heart squeezed. He was a good-looking guy. He had to know exactly why I
might be interested, but he didn’t seem like he had any clue.
“You’re smart. You can’t figure it out?” I winked at him. When he still
stared blankly, I reached out and tapped my thumb to his bottom lip.
He gently nudged my hand to the side, then sipped his latte, barely
breathing.
Grunting, I dragged my wallet from my back pocket and pulled out my
California driver’s license. I set the license on the table near his elbow, and
he snatched it up.
Micah leaned down to look closer and winced. “You’re twenty-one.”
His eyebrows dove again, almost as if he was accusing me of doing
something wrong.
“So?”
“I’m thirty-eight.”
 I shrugged. “And?”
He shook his head. “No. You should talk to boys your own age.” I heard
the words coming out of his mouth, but I also saw the steamy way he
couldn’t stop looking at my lips as he fumbled my card back into my hand.
His fingers brushed against my palm, and I rubbed my thumb on the back of
his wrist. He stared at what I was doing before drawing his hand back like
he’d been burned.
“If I wanted someone my own age, don’t you think I would already
have him?” I asked quietly.
He sucked in a deep breath and looked at my name on the back of the
flier again. “Yukio Hinode.”
“That’s me. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
His mouth fell open, and I shook my head at him.
“I will see you tomorrow night.”
He only stared at me as I stood, then turned my back on him and
purposefully strode away. Nerves swamped me and I let out a jittery breath
while smiling like a lunatic. Glancing back, I watched as Micah stared at
the flier I’d given him, almost looking scared. He peeked up and a small
smile chased across his lips as we made eye contact.
Be cool. I stopped looking at him before I did something stupid like
walk into a bookshelf. He would be at the bar tomorrow night. Excitement
so sharp it was nearly painful raced through me. The tidal wave of
adrenaline was a bigger feeling than the first game of the season. I rubbed
my hands together and smirked as soon as I turned a corner and spotted
Milo.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing. It’s just good when a plan comes together. I know at least
one person will be there for the band tomorrow night.”
He gave me a suspicious frown, but I flopped into the seat beside him
and dragged an accounting textbook out of my book bag. I had no idea
whether or not I would be able to get any studying done now that we were
here in the library, but I had to try to finish some work. The only
memorization I wanted to do tomorrow night included the best ways to
make Micah scream my name while I had my dick in his hole.

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 4

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 MICAH

I stared at my phone hopelessly and heaved a sigh . N o matter how

many text messages I sent Alex—Alexander—he didn’t reply. I’d barely
seen him since he’d moved, and trying to get him to respond was hard
enough on the days he wasn’t furious at me. Now, it was downright
impossible. Why I’d decided to come to the club-slash-bar that the
handsome young man had invited me to yesterday. . . I had no idea.
Dancing and bands weren’t my thing. I preferred solitude and quiet,
because too much noise hurt my head, but something had urged me to get
into my car and make my way here.
Getting out of my Kia was another story.
When I’d driven past the front earlier, the line outside the small bar
wasn’t long, but the people there were young, almost half my age and ready
to go in and party. Some of them didn’t look old enough to drink legally,
but neither did Yukio.
The bar had a shady atmosphere, with little light in front of the brick
building, and while I liked the idea of darkness, I had a feeling the inside
would be loud and blinding. There were a couple of small windows, but
black curtains covered them, and there were bars protecting the glass that
reminded me of a prison.
I took a deep breath and exhaled the way my psychologist had taught
me. Closing my eyes, I focused on my heartbeat and the faint smell of
strawberry from the air freshener hanging from the mirror. What could it
hurt going out for a night? Vikings would still be there when I got home and
so would my books.
 I hated the southeast side of New Gothenburg because it always seemed
more dangerous than the rest, but I was an adult who could handle
situations I didn’t like. “What’s the worst that can happen?” I asked aloud
the way Dr. Griffin taught me. “I don’t enjoy myself, and I go home. Simple
as that.”
Finally calming down, I grabbed the handle and pushed open the door. I
slid out of the car and glanced around the parking lot. After tugging my
wallet from my back pocket to fish out cash for the cover charge, I shoved it
into the front pocket of my jeans. Once I’d patted myself down and checked
that I looked okay, I locked the Kia and walked quickly down a narrow
alleyway to the street, then along a few stores to reach the line, which had
dwindled even more since I’d arrived.
Mousetrap glowed in white neon on a green sign over the door. It was a
strange name for a bar.
The bald bouncer with thick brown eyebrows took one look at me and
opened the door as I passed over a ten-dollar bill. I didn’t ask him if he
wanted to see my ID because I was already embarrassed that he could
clearly tell I was much older than everyone else.
Inside, the music was pumping.
The room was an array of irritations almost immediately, with blue and
purple lights that hurt my eyes and a smell of something burning—like
scented cigars—that made my nose scrunch in disgust. To the right was the
long wooden bar, with easily twenty packed stools, and the back wall was a
stage surrounded by a dance floor, or a mosh pit, I supposed. Around the
edges of the space were at least thirty square tables with chairs. Some of the
partygoers had already dragged a few of the tables together and from the
scratches on the hardwood floor, it wasn’t the first time.
A live band was on the stage. The spotlight focused on them as they
sang a deep, bass-thumping rock song that had the crowd cheering and
clapping and screaming. The singer wasn’t Yukio, though, so I made my
way to the bar. A couple of people bumped into me on the way through, and
I winced away from their touch. The noise of the overcrowded room hurt
my brain. I was already in a bad mood by the time I reached a stool
someone had vacated only seconds before, and it was made worse when I
sat down and the seat was still warm. Yuck.
The bartender, a young lady with long dyed silver hair shaved at the
sides of her head, came directly over, and she slapped her hand on the bar.
A piercing glinted in her nose, and her nails were purple. I got stuck staring
because the paint was glittery under the dark violet light above her. She
winked. “What can I get ya, sweet cheeks?”
I blinked at her. I didn’t drink alcohol, so I had no idea what I wanted.
Sucking my bottom lip in between my teeth, I glanced at the people around
me. To my left, a handsome young man flirting with the woman beside him
had amber liquid in a tumbler, while to my right, a woman had a pink drink
in a tall glass. Neither looked appealing.
I sighed. “Can I have a Coke?”
She stared at me for a long moment, and I thought she was assessing
whether I was joking or not, but finally she nodded and left to go get my
drink. I slouched against the bar, my elbows holding me up as I imagined
being at home, dressed in my favorite boxers and wrapped in my fluffy blue
blanket as I watched TV on the couch.
Why did I agree to this? Yukio was too young and too sweet, but a part
of me liked being flirted with and invited out, even if I hated where out was.
After a moment, I realized the wood beneath me was sticky. I winced,
tugging my arms away. I touched the skin on my elbows and forearms,
which were coated in something disgusting, and huffed.
Someone tapped my shoulder. I straightened, spinning on my stool
expecting Yukio, but instead it was a beautiful man with curly blond hair,
dimples, and big blue eyes. He looked a little older than everyone else in
the room, but still young enough to fit in. The tiny lines around his eyes as
he smiled gave away his higher age, though.
“Hey, I’m Gus.” He held out his hand, and even though I wasn’t a fan of
strangers touching me, I shook it because I had manners.
“Micah.”
“Wanna dance, Micah?” He fluttered those long blond lashes, and guilt
had me wincing. Another reason I hated going out. When men were
interested in me, they weren’t my type, and I had to say no. I hated hurting
their feelings.
“I don’t dance,” I said rather bluntly. Could I have softened the blow
somehow?
“How about a drink?” His tongue poked out from the corner of his
mouth, and I frowned. He was adorable, but something about him shouted
bottom. Yet, so did Yukio, and I’d come here after he’d invited me.
 “I’m waiting for someone.” I offered him a kind smile, but it might’ve
come across as awkward because he frowned and nodded before he left
quickly. I sighed and turned back around as the bartender brought back my
pop. She placed the glass in front of me and grinned.
Leaning on the bar with her elbows, she tilted her head. “You don’t look
comfortable here, sweetheart.”
“I’m not,” I admitted with a nervous laugh. Rubbing the back of my
neck, I shrugged because I wasn’t sure what else to say.
She popped her lips as her eyebrows shot upward before grunting and
walking away again. I groaned. Sometimes I wondered how I’d survived in
this world so far. People were confusing. They wanted conversations, and I
could handle that. . . if we talked about history or current events. Working at
a college was great because that’s all students wanted to discuss with me.
They didn’t care where I spent my evenings or what I liked to eat or drink.
They only wanted to know what to do for the next test or written paper.
Occasionally they asked for book recommendations.
The band on the stage had finished, but I didn’t know when because I
hadn’t been paying attention. I focused on the stage where another band
was setting up, and my gaze landed on Yukio, who was lowering the
microphone to his height. The sleeveless shirt he wore showed off tattoos
and the straining bicep muscles in his upper arms, which weren’t as small as
I’d expected from someone his height. The jeans he wore were ripped
around his knees and his shoes were black, like the rest of his clothes. Yukio
Nights curved across the front of his shirt in big, bold purple letters.
When he had the mic situated, he studied the room. His gaze paused on
me, and he arched his hands over his eyes to stop the light from shining
directly into them, and then he grinned, waving. Confused and thrown by
his actions, I gave him a weak wave in return.
I spun back around on my stool and cupped my glass of Coke closer to
my chest, my cheeks heating.
The bartender was back and she smirked at me. “Ah. Yukio, huh?”
“No.” I took the straw between my lips and gulped a large amount of
the pop before I gathered myself enough to speak again. “I’m just here to
watch the band play.”
“Mm-hmm.” She stuck her tongue in her cheek and something glittered
there, and I realized after a moment that she had a ball piercing in her
dimple.
 I cringed as I imagined the pain to get my cheek pierced. I opened my
mouth to ask her about it, but someone caught her attention at the end of the
bar, and she was off again. She reminded me of the Energizer Bunny, never
stopping to catch her breath. This fast-paced world scared me. Living with
that kind of speed was asking to make mistakes, and I didn’t handle errors
very well. I preferred to take my time and get everything right.
The sound of a loud guitar strum jerked me out of my mind, and I
focused on the band again.
Yukio had his mouth pressed close to the mic, and he held up his hand
in a frozen wave. The purple in his black hair seemed brighter under the
spotlight, and the silver piercings in his face glittered like diamonds. I
couldn’t tear my stare away from him.
“Hey, everyone, we’re Yukio Nights, and we’re going to play a few
songs for you,” he said.
Even though I’d just taken a drink, my mouth went dry as he glanced
my way again and winked. My stomach clenched and I rubbed it. Too
young. Would he take control? I sighed. He was beautiful, there was no
doubt about it, but chances were, he wanted me to be someone I wasn’t.
Most younger men who had approached me the time I’d gone out to a bar
downtown called Black Out had wanted a Daddy. I’d spent my entire life
pretending to be someone else, and I was tired of masking myself from the
world.
The music began, with a fast, thumping bassline from the electric
guitars before the drums joined in. Yukio and another man with shoulder-
length blond hair strummed together. The rhythm fired up the crowd, and
some who were sitting down at tall, circular tables rose to join the people
already dancing.
Yukio had a bright purple guitar, which he was thumping his hand on in
time with his bandmates. His smirk was downright wicked, gaze scanning
around the room like a man in charge of the universe—which didn’t fit the
boy who had approached me looking so polished in the library.
He leaned toward the microphone. The singing voice that came from
him was deeper than I’d expected, and the echo dug its way inside me and
buried itself there. The vibration was an addictive thrill that left me
breathless.
“You are my poison of choice, craving I’ve been saving.” He turned his
attention in my direction again and the tone of his voice rose in a near
shout. “But I want more of you. I don’t care if you leave me sore. Break my
heart, maybe. Toxic kisses, baby. I don’t care what you do to me, just give
me your venom. Break my heart, maybe. Toxic kisses, baby.”
The crowd on the dance floor joined in the chorus, screaming out the
words “break my heart, maybe. Toxic kisses, baby,” as though they would
save the world by doing it.
The song went on with more lyrics about love being venomous and
deadly, and after the band was done, they went on to another rock song,
then another. Yukio ended up playing five songs, and during each chorus he
sang, he stared in my direction like he was singing about me, which was
stupid. We didn’t know each other.
I couldn’t look away, though.
By the time he was done and the crowd cheered and Yukio thanked
them for being here, I turned to notice the ice in the glass had watered down
the Coke, making it undrinkable. I pulled out some cash and threw it on the
bar before standing. This wasn’t my kind of place, and I’d come to listen to
Yukio’s band like he’d asked, so now it was time to leave.
I didn’t get far, though. I’d only made it halfway to the door when
Yukio called my name. I couldn’t remember giving it to him, but that didn’t
mean I hadn’t. Sometimes I got lost in my mind, like Alex said.
Yukio was panting by the time he reached me, and I realized it had to do
with the fast-paced music he was singing onstage moments before, not
because he was running after me. He was a fit man who worked out plenty,
or at least, that’s what his arms showed.
He grinned widely. The eyeliner he wore made his brown irises stand
out, and they were amazing, like the rest of him. “You came.”
I nodded awkwardly. “I did. You asked me to watch you play. Your
music is nice. Not the kind of thing I listen to. It’s very rock.”
He laughed and the sound surprised me. His face lit up and his eyes
sparkled. “Yeah.” He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “Can I buy
you a drink?”
I sighed loudly, which caused his eyebrows to rise high on his forehead.
“Listen, you’re nice, Yukio, but you’re too young. Your music isn’t my
type.”
Amusement spread over his face and he grinned wider. Crossing his
arms, he stepped in closer. He wasn’t anywhere near as tall as me, but I got
the idea that he was more solid than he looked. “So, because I’m in a rock
band, I’m not your type?”
“I didn’t say that.” I glared at him. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
He stepped in even closer, and my heart picked up speed. Thump.
Thump. Thumpity thump. “So, then why don’t you let me buy you that
drink?”
I raised my chin, though I didn’t need to, and straightened my spine.
“Because I know what you want. I’m not that kind of man.” I lowered my
voice and leaned in closer to him, probably too close, but I didn’t want
anyone to hear us. There wasn’t much of a chance of eavesdropping
because it was loud anyway, but I couldn’t risk it. There could be students
around. “I don’t top, and I’m not dominant. And you’re too. . . sweet. The
guys I’m into are rough and assertive and forceful.” Well, the guys who
existed in my mind were like that, anyway. I’d never been with one.
He stared at me, the delight in his expression doubling.
I cleared my throat and stepped back. “Good night, Yukio. It was nice to
meet you.”
I left him there, striding out of the bar and past the bouncer, who gave
me a stoic look as I exited through the door. I’d made it halfway down the
alley toward the parking lot before someone came up behind me and shoved
me against the brick wall of the bar. Gasping in surprise, I threw an arm
backward to ward off my attacker, but I was spun, so I was facing him and
thrown against the wall again.
My breath caught when Yukio’s beautiful face appeared before me. He
smirked, the previous innocence that had smothered him gone without a
trace, leaving behind a dangerous glint in his gaze that caused my cock to
stiffen. Molten lava flooded my insides and pleasure coiled in my stomach
as he curled his long fingers around my neck, holding me in place. He
wasn’t as tall as me, but he pressed his lean, muscular body against mine,
trapping me with the kind of hardened control that he didn’t need to use his
strength to demonstrate.
His eyes told a story—the kind that expressed how much he wanted to
fuck me the way I craved—and all the assumptions I’d had of his smaller
frame and youth dissolved. He wasn’t a boy looking for a good lay, he was
the dominant man I’d been searching for.
My cock throbbed when he slammed his mouth against mine, and I
moaned into his rough kiss. I reached for him, but he grabbed my hand and
shoved it to my side, trapping it against the wall. I gasped, and he took the
chance to push his tongue into my mouth as his control over me
strengthened.
Everything in my core craved submission. I didn’t want him to tie me
up, and I didn’t want to call him Sir or my Dom, but I needed him to take
me home and fuck me, and that was scary because he was still around half
my age!
It took everything in my power to touch my hand to his chest and shove
him backward. He was solid and had the kind of strength that made him
difficult to move. My chest rose and fell in hard gasps and a shiver slid
down my spine. Cock bulging in my pants, it was obvious I desired more,
and his gaze dropped down to my lower extremities. The smirk that he gave
me said he knew all about what I needed.
“You judged me,” he whispered. Around here, everything was quiet.
The bar’s noise was a distant memory, even though my ears still rang from
the reverberated music. “You looked at me and assumed I wanted you to
fuck me.” That sexy smirk widened. “But baby, I want to shove my dick in
your tight hole and listen to you scream my name while I do it.”
His low, deep tone and the words swirled a chaos of emotions inside
me. Need. Confusion. Need. Panic. Need. I couldn’t want this with a man
the same age as Alex. I needed to find a partner who was older and wiser
and—Fuck!
He buried his face against my neck and trailed nippy kisses along my
skin, biting hard enough to leave behind marks that my colleagues would be
asking me about tomorrow, and in the throes of passion, I couldn’t find the
language to tell him that was a bad idea. My eyes rolled back in my head
and I moaned.
He laid his hands on my hips and held tightly, and I was both
disappointed and relieved that he didn’t touch me anywhere else. I wasn’t
sure what I was ready for, especially considering I’d never had sex with a
man. Yet, none of this mattered, damn it!
I couldn’t. Wouldn’t. I so badly wanted to, though.
Cursing my weakness, I shoved at his chest again, this time putting
more force behind it. He backed away, palms up toward me to show he was
surrendering.
“You don’t want this?” he murmured, stare dropping to my throbbing
cock trapped in my stupid pants.
 I resisted the urge to reach down and rearrange myself. “I do. No, I
mean, I don’t.”
He opened his mouth and swiped his tongue over his teeth, and I sucked
in a breath. “You taste sweet. I like it.”
My throat worked as I tried to swallow, and every inch of me wanted to
drag him back in and kiss him again. I hungered for him to devour me and
hold me down and fuck me until I could only feel him inside me. But the
scenarios of everything that could go wrong rampaged through my brain
like a bull in a china shop. I shook my head.
I stood tall as I straightened my clothing that had become askew
because of our grappling and offered him a pleasant smile, the same as I
might a colleague. “Your band is. . . nice.”
“Nice?” The amusement was back and so was the wide grin. He had
pouty lips, and they were very curvy in a way I often saw in drawings but
not real life. The ball piercings through his eyebrows weren’t unique, and I
didn’t usually like facial jewelry, but they fit him perfectly, though I
couldn’t quite put my finger on why.
“You repeat me a lot.” I frowned at him.
“You say some strange things, Micah.” His hand shot out and slapped
against the wall beside my head, and I jumped in surprise. He didn’t try to
kiss or touch me again, though. “But fuck, you’re cute.”
My cheeks burned, and I made a choked sound. I rubbed the back of my
neck and slid out from between him and the wall. “I should go. Back home.
I, um. I need to go.”
I didn’t give him a chance to respond as I nearly ran in the direction I’d
been walking, heading toward my car. By the time I reached my Kia, my
heart was pounding, but I couldn’t tell if it was from the running or him.
He’d turned my world upside down in a matter of an hour, and my mind
was a jumbled mess. I didn’t like it one bit. I had my routine and things I
knew and was an expert in, and bringing in an unknown variable was
terrifying.
Yet. . . I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

OceanofPDF.com
 5

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

M y E arl G rey latte was surprisingly good as I sipped it . T he rich

taste of cardamom played with the sweetness of the syrup I’d watched
Cassandra pump into the cup while she was making my drink. The late
afternoon sun spilled through the scarlet oak leaves overhead as I walked
along the sidewalk, replaying in my head the stolen moments kissing Micah
for the twenty billionth time. He’d moved so easily under my touch and his
mouth was sweet and soft. He’d sucked on my tongue with the perfect
amount of needy pressure and let me slam him around, taking directions
from me without a single word exchanged between us.
It had been magic so pure unicorns couldn’t create it. Genies in lamps
had the low-grade shit compared to this. Nothing had prepared me for that
passionate, kiss-swollen pout begging me to fuck his mouth right there.
Then he’d put on the brakes.
But that was okay. I wasn’t scared of a challenge. I had to find out how
to get more of him.
“Oh no. Not this guy.” Milo shook me out of my daydream with his
harsh words and a sigh.
The intoxicating replay of Micah parting those lips for me vanished in a
puff of smoke, and I focused in front of us. There was a group of people
heading our way from the bland two-story brick building that was our
destination, probably because a class or lab had ended, and Alexander
Carrington was staring me down like a psycho. He was also walking
directly toward me. We were on a path to collide.
 “Really? We’re playing chicken?” I snickered. “This wack job thinks
he’s going to scare me with his bad Joker impression.”
Milo shook my arm. His yellow tank top was brighter than the autumn
leaves and he had on a matching pair of sunglasses that were just weird. I
hated looking into the lenses because they reminded me of bug eyes. “Just
step aside. It isn’t worth it,” he murmured. “I can’t deal with his trash
mouth today.”
“Why should I?” I grinned at Milo, then blew a kiss at Alexander, which
made his face turn an ugly shade of red. “This is a free country. I can walk
wherever I want to fucking walk.” I tugged on the collar of my shirt and
was tempted to rip it off over my head and shove it into my back pocket.
Burn In Hell was inked from my neck down to my chest, and let me tell
you, my mom had nearly murdered me when I’d come home with that one.
Dad had laughed his ass off. He would approve of me holding steady in this
situation. “And I was here first.”
Milo groaned and let go of me, stepping to the side, almost as if he’d
decided I would lose the game of sidewalk chicken with Alexander. Maybe
he thought that because our neighborhood friendly enemy was roughly the
size of a moose. Well, his lack of faith pissed me off, so I wasn’t going to
move over now, even if I’d maybe been in the mood to avoid crap. I popped
up the lid on my latte—just a bit—with my thumb.
Then, I waited. All good plans had a sweet spot for implementation, and
this one was fast approaching the critical window.
Alexander kept walking, glaring at me as he approached.
I smiled and put a jaunty bounce in my step.
“Just move,” Milo hissed. “You have nothing to prove.”
“No.” I refused to look away from Alexander. “And besides, we both
know that’s not true. If I step an inch to the side, this asshole will take seven
miles.”
One of the girls walking with Alexander shook his arm, waving a hand
at me, and I assumed she was trying to let him know he was going to walk
right into me. Her pretty face fell into a frown as he shook his head, and her
skirt swished around her knees as she did the same thing Milo had done and
moved out of the way.
Impact in five. . . four. . . three. . . two. . . .
I pretended to trip, pivoting to Alexander’s side, and my latte impacted
squarely on his chest. The splatter on his light blue T-shirt was epic. I’d
somehow managed to get brown milky tea on him from his collar all the
way down to his khaki pants. My cardboard cup clattered to the ground.
Alexander’s mouth fell open and he glanced up at me with something
like hurt in his eyes, but that was fucking stupid because he’d started this.
He shoved me, and someone nearby gasped.
“You should really watch where you’re going. You spilled my drink.” I
gave him an over-the-top pout and crossed my arms. “You owe me a new
one.” Alexander stepped toward me, and I raised a finger, backing up. “Hey,
now. We wouldn’t want Professor Charbonneau to tell your daddy about
you fighting again, would we? You don’t want to make daddykins look bad,
do you?”
“You’re a fucker.” Alexander blew out a long breath, bent, and picked
up my empty cup, then stalked off with it—which was weird—all while
shooting me the type of glare over his shoulder that could singe the asshairs
off a skunk.
I snorted.
Milo tugged me out of the way of the stream of people going the
opposite direction and took off his sunglasses to stare at me. His wide
brown eyes looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“What?” I rested my finger on my nose ring and wriggled it back and
forth until he grinned.
“One of these days he is going to snap and try to beat you into the
ground.”
I grunted. “Let him.”
Milo shook his head, a smirk settling on his lips. “Why do you keep
doing this? Do you have some sort of death wish?”
“I didn’t do anything. He did.” I shrugged and kept walking toward our
last afternoon class, which Alexander shared with us, but it seemed like he
must be skipping. Damn, I’d forgotten my confetti. “You saw him. He
started it. I’ll finish it.” I thumped my chest. “And if I do things right, he’ll
get kicked off the basketball team, out of school, hell, maybe even out of
the entire city. New Gothenburg deserves to live Alexander Carrington free.
Do they ban people from cities these days?” I crooked a grin at Milo.
He snickered. “I don’t know. Maybe you should drop it, though. You’re
going to start something that turns so painful you’ll regret it.”
Fat chance. I was going to finish this fight for good. Seeing Alexander
had reminded me that Micah wasn’t just some sweet, geeky guy I wanted to
touch all over—he was a mission. As we made our way toward the entrance
of the Van Buren Building for our Fundamentals of Tax Accounting class, I
snagged Milo’s elbow.
“Hey.”
He slid his sunglasses back onto his face and glanced at me. “Yeah?”
Dragging my feet, I pulled him to the side into the grass near a maple
tree. Red leaves drifted down, and Milo plucked a pretty pinkish yellow one
out of my hair. “What’s one thing you would never turn down?”
“My grandmother’s homemade pierogies. She puts cheese in them.” He
smiled and closed his eyes. “Yum.”
I smacked his gut with the back of my hand, then headed toward the
doors again, and he grunted, rushing after me.
“Ouch.” He pouted.
“That did not hurt.” I snorted.
“Did too!”
“I’m not asking about your stomach.” I raised my eyebrows at him, then
shot a glance at his crotch.
His eyes widened. “Oh, you mean. . . ?”
I waved my hand to keep him talking.
“BJ. No contest.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and his
shoulders slumped. He would make a terrible criminal because it was
always obvious when he was doing anything wrong. My dad had always
told me to stroll around like you owned the place if you were up to no good,
so I just did it all the time. “If anyone legal offered, I would take it.
Literally anyone,” he whispered.
Intrigued, I slowed down until we were in danger of being late to class.
A cool breeze tickled across my cheeks and through my hair. “Anyone?”
He lifted his sunglasses to the top of his head and settled his arm across
my shoulders. I leaned against his solid warmth as he chased off the chill.
“My mom’s neighbor, she’s sixty. Like, still looks fuckable in her low-rise
jeans, sixty, but you know.” He shrugged.
“Sixty.” I dragged out the word.
“Right! Anyway, this past summer, she says, Milo, be a sweetie and
come help me fix my pool filter. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“And?” I snatched his stupid sunglasses and danced out of reach, and he
laughed, chasing after me through the grass for a few seconds. He snagged
my book bag and tugged until I passed the glasses back.
 “And, I’m just saying, all right? It’s a hell of a motivational tool. I spent
a few nights over there and never touched the pool filter. She knew some
tricks.”
“You’re lying,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“You think what you want—” He smirked and waggled his eyebrows.
“—but I learned a valuable lesson.”
“Cougars are everywhere?” I grinned.
He chuckled and twirled his glasses in his hand. “Well, okay, two
lessons. But one of them is never turn down a BJ.”
Rubbing my hands on my cheeks, I stared at him.
“What?” he asked, pursing his lips.
“I’m adjusting my view of you.”
He grinned, showing all his teeth. “For the better?”
I held up my pointer finger and stretched my arm out to the right. “It’s
more a sideways skewing of the data.”
We chuckled together as we reached the entrance of the building, and he
opened the door for me. I slapped his back as I followed him inside to let
him know I was kidding around with him.
“But you figure that’s the best thing I could offer to get into someone’s
pants?”
Milo held up a hand as our shoes slapped on the tiles. “One, it’s fun.” A
finger shot into the air. “Two, it’s low stress.” Another finger. “The person
getting it can be as involved as they want. Or it’s a total gift.” His pinky
finger joined the others and he stared at his hand with a frown while I
snickered. “It almost always ends in getting off.” He gave me a light slap to
the side of the face. “It’s a total power move.”
Perking up, I nodded. “I love the sound of that.”
“Who do you like?” I could hear the curiosity nearly murdering him as
he asked this time because I still hadn’t told him who I had my sights set
on. His eyes were shiny with interest and his face tensed as he seemed to be
trying to use the Force on me to get me to talk.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, heading toward our class again at top
speed because we were less than a minute from getting a lecture for
interrupting. The boring gray tiles and white cement-block walls turned the
building into a bland maze, and I swore as I realized we were farther from
the classroom we needed to get to than I’d thought.
“You’re a jerk.” He rushed after me.
 Laughing, I nodded.
With a sigh of relief, I shoved open a solid metal door, and Milo and I
were able to slip into two desks in the very last row right before Dr.
Portanova started talking, but she gave us looks. She barely stood taller than
the lectern and her gray hair was stacked in a bun on top of her head. There
were zero visible wrinkles in her skirt suit. Oh yeah, she was taking no shit
today.
I smiled and waved my fingers at her, and she cracked a small, amused
grin back. I let out a breath of relief.
After class I was even more of a jerk because I made sure I was packed
up and ready to go before Dr. Portanova let us escape, and I shot out of my
seat. Milo hadn’t even had a chance to close his laptop.
“Wait!” he called after me.
“Can’t. Busy. See you later.” The door swung shut behind me with a
whump.
He yelled something else after me, but I lost his words as I rushed
through the crowded hall. None of the professors liked to keep us late at the
end of the day because they were sick of this place, too. With a light step, I
hustled off to look for Micah. My book bag bounced against my back as I
jogged around campus. I wandered anywhere Micah might go for about an
hour before I struck pay dirt. I wanted to laugh at what I found.
Micah stood outside the entrance to the tomb-like, two-story granite
library—I’d been considering going inside to look for him—and three girls
were crowded in front of him. One of the ladies was clearly ready to draw
blood with her crossed arms and serious scowl. She flipped her blonde hair
off her shoulder and her hip popped in the other direction. He awkwardly
clutched a paper folder to his side, and I thought it was a nervous tic that
had him holding it so tightly.
He is so fucking handsome.
I swallowed hard. I’d known he looked good, but he was tall and solid
in all the right spots. His suit clung to his ass and made his shoulders look
like I could use them to hold on and climb him. I wanted to rip his clothes
off and get a good view of everything underneath, especially after thinking
about him on a loop for days. And those long legs. Fuck. His thighs were
everything I dreamed about. I wanted them wrapped around me.
It was rare that I didn’t get to hop in a bed after a kiss, and I wasn’t used
to working this hard for something—or someone—I wanted.
 It was a good thing I had no problem shamelessly eavesdropping. Two
of the girls noticed me stopping behind Micah to stare at his nice ass in his
moss green suit, but the one who was ready to murder him didn’t.
“Miss Parks.” Micah shoved up his red reading glasses, another small,
nervous shuffle that was cute. “You will have a chance to redeem your
grade, but I do not adjust grades after they are handed out without a very
good argument. I make mistakes. I’m human.” He touched a hand to his
chest, and a small part of me melted inside. How had I not noticed this level
of adorableness the first time I’d met him? “If you’ve found a flaw in my
interpretation of a fact or an incorrect phrasing in a question, I’m happy to
look it over, but you haven’t presented me with anything like that.”
She huffed and shook her head, her blonde ponytail swaying with the
motion. I noticed a pink sorority pin gleaming on the collar of her pastel
purple polo shirt and winced internally. “You clearly don’t understand what
I’m saying. Sammy.” She glanced at the girl on her left, looking for a
lifeline.
Sammy stepped closer, all smiles. “Dr. Carrington, Tori doesn’t want
you to cheat. Right?”
I guessed Tori was the first woman who’d been talking, and she shook
her head fast. “Oh no!”
“We’re members of the NG Service sorority.” Sammy flashed her
matching pink pin. “What she needs is for you to adjust the grade. Just for a
few weeks! Our sorority has a trip to Florida planned over our fall break.
Her parents won’t let her go with a C listed. All we need you to do is
change it to a B or an A for now, and then after the break, just put it back.”
She cupped her hands together under her chin and smiled. “See, we’re not
trying to do anything wrong, just have a nice time with our sorority sister.”
Tori nodded quickly. “Yes, sir. We’re not trying to do anything that
would get us into trouble.”
Snorting, I ran my fingertip over the eyebrow piercing on my left side
while Micah stuttered for a few seconds. “I simply can’t!”
“Please.” Tori took his hand and blinked up at him with wide blue eyes.
“I am begging here, Dr. Carrington. I swear, it’s just so I can go on this trip.
I fully understand my final grade will only be the one I earn. Please help me
out!”
Micah’s face twisted until he looked like he’d been kicked in the gut. I
stepped forward and tapped his folder out of the spot where it had been
slotted against his body. He let out a gasp and fumbled as the papers inside
spilled onto the sidewalk. The women took a few steps back and frowned
down at the mess.
“That was an accident!” I bounded around him. “Sorry, Dr. Carrington!”
I put my back to the women and winked as they huffed and whispered to
each other behind me. I bent and helped him pick up the papers. “Were you
on your way to your car?”
“No, the library, actually,” he said, glancing at the nearby glass doors as
his cheeks flushed a brilliant pink that made me want to pinch them. His
curly brown hair was rumpled, as if maybe he’d run his hand through the
strands, and it made my fingers tingle to do the same thing.
“Oh? Me too! And I had a question I wanted to ask you as well.”
“Excuse me, but we were here first.” Sammy’s tone wasn’t nearly as
sweet now. She made little shooing motions at me with her hands like I was
a puppy that was in her way. “I need to talk to Dr. Carrington now!”
“Oh, yeah, wow. I’m on a really tight schedule tonight, and he’s gonna
do that stupid bullshit for you never, so I would say my question is more
important. Thanks!” I snagged the last paper on the ground and handed it to
him, then shot to my feet and smiled at her.
Sammy huffed, and Tori looked ready to cry, but the third woman
giggled at me. She gave the other two an I told you so look.
“Come on, Dr. Carrington. Let’s go!” I snagged his arm and dragged
him toward the doors. He allowed me to pull him along and even open a
door for him, but once we were in the small entrance hall directly before
another set of doors that led into the library, he stopped and shook off my
grip.
“You embarrassed me,” he said, still trying to straighten the mess. He
gave up and finally just closed the manila folder with papers sticking out
every which way.
Surprised, I stared up into his face. His gray eyes were shiny, as if
maybe tears were getting ready to sneak down his cheeks. My stomach
swooped toward the center of the earth. “I helped you.”
He shook his head and his Adam’s apple bobbed. I felt awful as he
pushed up his glasses because he gave me an upset little pout. “I don’t like
things that make me look stupid. Or klutzy.”
Crossing my arms, I leaned toward him. “Are you clumsy?”
 He shrugged. “I don’t think so.” He didn’t seem to be able to leave the
paperwork alone to talk to me. He poked at the papers sticking out without
doing anything constructive, as far as I could tell.
“Who told you that you are enough times that you’re worried about it?”
His gaze darted to me as his lips parted, and then he cleared his throat
and glanced away again while cringing. “No one.”
“Then what does it matter?”
He scowled down at the messy folder, and I took it from him. He tried
to snatch his work back, but I walked through one of the glass doors in front
of us, then over to a nearby table across from the check-out desk. He
crowded close enough that I could feel his warmth along my side. I
carefully sorted the papers into the right direction while he watched before
slotting them back into the folder. When everything was neat, I passed it
back to him, and he smiled.
“I said, what does it matter?”
He stared at me, and I felt bad as he drew in a deep, shuddery breath.
“People will think I am.”
“So what? Who cares?”
He shook his head and leaned closer. His bottom lip jutted, and I wanted
to tug on it. “Have you ever been embarrassed even once in your very short
life? Or is your rock star persona real? Are you that confident everywhere?”
His voice pitched low and raised the hair on my arms.
He almost seemed to be accusing me of something, and for some reason
I found his irritation funny. I smirked at him. “Yes. It’s very real. But I have
been embarrassed.”
He raised his eyebrows at me, almost like he was daring me to continue.
I stepped closer. “Three nights ago, this man with long legs that qualify
as a dessert and pretty gray eyes ran from me, so I’m sure it means I’m a
terrible kisser.” I rested my hand on my heart. “I was very wounded. Deeply
embarrassed.”
He took his glasses off to stare at me before putting them on again.
“You were really upset? You think that?”
Shrugging, I grinned at him. “It must be true. That’s what happened.”
His bottom lip trembled and it was all I could see. I wanted to bite that
shiny pink flesh so bad I could almost feel the sensation of that soft, sweet
skin between my teeth. Excitement curled in my stomach. Fuck, he had a
nice mouth.
 “You’re not a bad kisser,” he whispered, so quietly I almost lost the
words. He glanced around, but no one was near us.
Fighting back a laugh, I tilted my head. “There’s one way I would
believe that.”
“How?” he breathed out.
“If that guy with that hot body let me kiss him again.”
He flushed and turned toward the stairs, heading up to the second floor
without giving me another glance. Did he want me to follow him or was he
running away again? Licking my lips, I grinned and prepared to chase after
him.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I groaned, heading outside to take
the call rather than risk the wrath of the librarians if I happened to get too
loud on the first floor. Mom’s name was on the screen, along with a small
thumbnail picture of her smiling face, and I slid the green button up to take
the call.
“There you are!” Mom said before I could get a word out. “How are you
doing?” She was breathing hard, and obnoxious, sweet high-pitched
laughter rang out in the background. “Asuka! If you go near that vase, you
will regret it!” She swore. “Sono kabin ni chikazuku to ato yo!”
“Mada oshiete imasu ka?” I asked with a laugh.
“Your father has been gone a lot the last few months,” she said with a
groan. “And I’ve been so lazy with it. If Asuka can’t speak Japanese the
next time your grandfather sees him, I’m pretty sure your ojiichan’s head
will explode. He already says things like, Yukio was so much more well-
behaved. He’s always spoken Japanese.” She imitated my grandpa’s gruff
tone perfectly. “I can’t get your ojiichan to understand that we suspect
Asuka has autism, which changes things a little for him. He didn’t even
start talking until last year.”
Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “I learned Japanese because Dad was still
learning English and used Japanese more then. Now he speaks English as
much as you do. Plus, Asuka has no friends who speak it, and I had Kenji
down the street.”
“I know. It’s just frustrating. Maybe you should explain it to Ojiichan
because he won’t listen to me when I tell him things are different than when
you were little. Ha!” she yelled, and I heard a happy squeal on her end, so I
figured she was playing tag with Asuka around the house, something he’d
always loved to do.
 “How’s Dad?”
“In Japan again.”
Blinking, I stared up at the darkening sky and the stars that began to
peek out. The air had a damp chilliness to it that let me know we would be
getting real autumn weather soon, and excitement smacked me. I loved the
Northeast during the fall. It was so different from So Cal. “He’s been away
for work a lot. Is there something you want to tell me? Are you getting a
divorce?”
She groaned. “Stop that. If there was another woman, he would try to
get me to join.”
“Ew! I didn’t need that in my brain!” I stuck out my tongue even though
she couldn’t see me.
She laughed. “Then don’t say things you shouldn’t. That’s your
punishment.”
“But why—”
“Business.” I didn’t ask again because it wasn’t safe for her to get too
detailed over the phone. “And your grandfather wants to take care of some
inheritance stuff. Apparently, there is a beautiful house somewhere out in
the country that has belonged to the family for generations, but your uncles
don’t want it because they live in Tokyo, and they couldn’t care less about
it, and of course, we already have a nice house here and I work here. Your
father thinks your ojiichan wants to give it to you or maybe Asuka.”
“Interesting. Is this why you called?” I wasn’t sure I wanted an old
house in Japan, either, but no one had asked me.
“Are you so eager to go study?” she asked, and there was a bit of
suspicion in her tone.
“As far as you know.”
She huffed, but I started a video call and panned around to the front of
the library. She laughed, and I missed her when our gazes connected
through the phone. “You are as bad as your dad. Okay. Go. Be good! I love
you!” She brushed her short black hair away from her face.
The screen shifted and I could tell small hands were grabbing it and
tugging it down. Asuka blinked up into the camera and my heart twisted.
He was so cute. He had a tiny button nose and brown eyes that were bright
and happy.
“Hey, what are you doing?” he demanded. “When are you coming
home?” His tiny scowl made me wish I could hug him.
 “Probably for Thanksgiving.”
“Okay!” he chirped, and then Mom yelled as he ran off with her phone.
I ended the call as the screen did a crazy jig while he darted through the
house. I was smiling when I turned to go back into the library. It was nice to
be on my own, but I missed home. I took my time making my way to the
table Micah usually claimed, and once there, I found an interesting mystery.
His belongings were at the table—but he wasn’t.
After a second of pondering, I made a beeline toward the men’s
restroom on this level. The entrance was hidden in a small alcove past a
water fountain, and my heart leaped as the door opened when I reached it.
Micah gasped like a heroine in a horror movie, and I pushed him back
into the restroom, power surging through me. I slipped my phone into my
back pocket.
His mouth opened and closed several times as I shoved him through the
open door of the biggest stall, then locked it behind myself. He seemed so
stunned that it didn’t take much to thump him back against the gray tiled
wall. I dropped my book bag on the floor beside us.
“Are you gonna let me test my theory? Am I a good kisser?”
“Do you want to do that?” he whispered. He ran his hand along his
neck, and I smirked when he touched one of the tiny bruises I’d given him
the last time I’d kissed him. Had he been playing with it while he thought of
me?
“Yes. Tell me you want it.”
An expression flashed across his face that almost looked painful, and
then he nodded. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Snickering, I pressed him against the wall. His firm chest felt good.
“Tell me, did you touch the love bites I left on you while you jerked
off?” I didn’t look away as pinkness spread across his face, even staining
the tips of his ears.
He nodded once.
Heat punched me in the gut, lust I embraced fully, and then I kissed
him. Touching my lips to his was a shock to my system, just like it had been
last time. I sucked on his bottom lip and slid my hand up to his neck so I
could feel how his pulse went wild beneath my fingertips. It was amazing to
sink my teeth into his lip the way I’d wanted to do earlier, and he shivered. I
kissed along his jaw before dragging my tongue over the stubble, and he
gasped, nudging his rock-hard dick against my abs. A fierce hunger rose up
in me.
This was fucking phenomenal. I wanted to do so many things to him,
but mainly I needed to hear him whimpering for me. I sank my teeth lightly
into his neck, and he shuddered and rocked his hips against me. My dick
felt as if I’d stuck my finger in an electric socket and every bit of juice had
ended up there. I knew exactly what that needy slide of his hips was all
about.
He wanted to fuck.
He wanted me in his ass.
And he wanted to come.
I sank my teeth deeper into his skin, and he gasped, but that wasn’t quite
what I needed. I sucked on the spot I’d bitten, drawing hard, and finally I
got the small breathy sounds I was after, followed by a moan. I slapped my
hand over his mouth, and his eyes flew open as I leaned back a bit.
“Shhh. We’re in the library.” I winked at him.
He froze.
Well, now or never. I didn’t see any reason to think that Milo was
wrong. I sank to my knees and barely felt it when they cracked hard on the
tiled floor. One BJ coming up. His dick was a plump ridge in his pants.
Micah jutted his hips, almost as if he couldn’t help himself, and I grinned. I
had the zipper tab between my fingers when he said, “No.”
Glancing up, I was slammed with disappointment as he shook his head.
I was a fucker about a lot of things, but I listened to my partners when
they told me something like this, so I got up and stared into his face, trying
to figure out where this had gone off the rails. His brow furrowed, and I was
pleasantly surprised when he slid his hands around my waist. I pressed
against him, purposefully putting weight against his dick, and he knocked
his head back, pumping his hips.
“Yeah, you’re still into this. There you go.” I rubbed against him, and
his mouth fell open as his eyes shut. “Why not? You don’t want to feel good
with me?”
“I do, but—” He glanced around and the expression on his face made
my heart crumple a little. I couldn’t bring myself to feel annoyed.
“This isn’t classy enough for you?”
He wrinkled his nose, and I laughed.
 “Follow me.” I stepped back and swiped my book bag up to hook it
over my shoulder, and he frowned as he watched me. I unlocked the door
and went out into the bathroom, then walked into the library. I snuck
between shelves because I was hard as fuck, not looking back to see if
Micah was behind me—I didn’t think I could stand the disappointment if he
wasn’t.
After my small detour, I took the stairs down past the first floor, all the
way to the basement level. To the right was a spot that had been turned into
a storage area, but there was no door. The short hallway went back a bit. It
was just a strange, cluttered cubby with no good use—except one. There
were a couple of random stains on the walls in the back where there was a
clear space, but I ignored them and hoped Micah wouldn’t notice.
I tossed my book bag on a stack of chairs, then leaned against the wall
and waited, closing my eyes. A scuffle of shoes on the floor nearby had
tingles racing around in my belly. When I glanced up, Micah was leaning
against the wall across from me, staring down at my face as if he was trying
to figure me out.
Like he was worried he was about to become a punchline.
I hated that.
He was so handsome. What the fuck had happened to this guy?
“No one can see us in here,” I said.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
Grinning, I nodded. “This is a well-known secret on campus.”
“It’s risky.” He glanced around.
“I promise, I won’t ask you to do something that could get us into
trouble,” I murmured.
“This could.” He shot a look at the end of the hall. “What if someone
hears us and checks?”
“We’ll be quiet. Anyone peeking back here wants to fuck, too.” I
winked.
He bit his lip and twisted his fingers together, and I didn’t like that he
almost seemed scared. “Okay,” he breathed out.
My heart lurched. Part of me hadn’t expected him to agree. Milo was
right. BJs were the answer to all life’s questions. Grinning, I went to step
forward, but I was stunned because he dropped to his knees and crawled
toward me. Fuck, fuck, fuck—that’s hot. Micah raised his hands to fumble
with my pants, and I gently pushed them away to unbuckle and unzip for
him. I was so excited that I couldn’t think. He stared up at me, and I pulled
myself out and fed my stiff, achy dick between his pink lips.
He looked at me like I was everything in the universe. All that
admiration socked me in the gut as I steadily pushed into his mouth until he
gagged. I backed off a bit but left my cockhead in the wonderful heat of his
mouth.
“Oh, you’re so sweet on your knees. Are you going to eat my load?”
He nodded with an enthusiasm I hadn’t expected, and warmth expanded
in my chest. He lightly began to suck, the tiniest tease of wet pressure
around my dick, and I ran my thumb along his cheekbone.
“I’m going to tell you what to do, and you’re going to do it,” I said,
voice a low growl that took me by surprise. I fucking loved everything
about this. The way he trembled on the floor, his dick pushing against his
green suit pants while it was still trapped. The way his eyes shone with
reverence. How he clasped his own thighs like he had no idea what he
should be doing at all. I cupped his cheeks and thrust gently. “Are you
going to listen to me?”
His eyes closed and his hips rocked as he nodded while still clasping my
dick between his lips. The sensation was a little weird, but I loved it. He
circled his tongue, and I thought he might be exploring the small bump of
my foreskin where it rested under my cockhead. His gentle prodding felt
perfect. My dick throbbed and I bucked my hips, easing back when he
gagged again.
“Good.” I’d never been this fucking satisfied in my life, and I hadn’t
even blown my wad.

OceanofPDF.com
 6

OceanofPDF.com
 MICAH

I’ d always imagined what it would be like to have a cock in my

mouth, but it was different than I’d expected. For one, I could feel his pulse.
His skin was bumpy on my tongue, the protruding veins creating lines for
me to trace and map. He tasted bitter—but not terrible—and I couldn’t get
enough. If I ignored the fact that we were in the storage area in the
basement of the library, this entire situation was something out of my
fantasies. The world disappeared around us, and for a short, peaceful
moment, there was only me and the man I wanted to please.
I reached up to grip his slim hips and my fingernails dug into the
waistline of his pants. Part of me wished I could feel his warmth under my
hands, but there wasn’t time. The fear of being caught created a ripple of
intensity and excitement, and my cock throbbed in my underwear.
Adrenaline pumped through me. What we were doing could easily get us
caught. I groaned around the tip of his cock, sucking eagerly.
He grunted, running his hand through my hair, then grabbed strands and
tugged hard. The sharp bite of pain shot through me like a firework
exploding, and it took all my willpower not to come then and there. My
insides buzzed with electricity, or maybe it was a fire because I was far too
hot, and the crackling sensations felt more like flames licking the inside of
my stomach.
I took more of his length into my mouth, closing my eyes and
remembering the porn I’d watched. I’d never enjoyed blowjobs with Candy.
She’d been so eager, but my brain hadn’t been able to turn off from the fact
that she was a woman, and I would much prefer one from a man. But I’d
imagined what I would’ve enjoyed. Stroking my tongue under the head of
his cock, I opened my eyes and stared up at him again, watching as bliss
flickered across his beautiful face.
I did that to him.
My mouth.
His cock.
It was me!
The thought was exhilarating, and I pushed on, wrapping my hand
around the base of his cock and taking him deeper. I bobbed my mouth over
his hard-on, my tongue swirling and running along the underside, and his
pleased moans were the cherry on top of this amazing moment. I didn’t
know if I was doing great, or if he was merely happy to get a warm mouth
on his sensitive cock, but I didn’t care. The fact that I had him in my mouth
was enough for me.
“Touch yourself,” he growled gruffly, the tone sending another lightning
strike of desire through me.
I reached down to unbutton and unzip my pants, then slid my hand into
them and my underwear, grabbing my cock firmly in my hand. While I
continued to massage Yukio with my tongue, I did the same to myself with
my palm. Everything was exactly as I’d fantasized, and I couldn’t ignore
the thrill that settled in the bottom of my gut.
“I want you to suck my balls.” His fingernails scraped over my scalp,
and I shuddered.
Moving away from his cock, I kissed the skin around the base before I
tugged his pants a little lower so I could suck on his balls like he’d
instructed. He groaned, his grip on my hair tightening, and if I could’ve
preened, I would’ve.
I moaned around the heaviness sitting on my tongue and laved his sack.
His balls were bigger than mine, which was surprising because of how slim
he was, and it was the most attractive thing I’d seen.
“Fuck, baby. I’m going to come.” He yanked on my hair, and I
whimpered, taking his cock back into my mouth and swallowing down as
much as I could. He thrust his length deep, and the tip hit the back of my
throat, triggering my gag reflex. I choked, but he appeared to like that
because he hissed and fucked into me harder. “You’re so fucking sexy
swallowing my dick. Show me how much you want to eat my load. Moan
for me.”
 The sound that came from my throat was guttural and primal, and I’d
never heard such a thing leave me before, but Yukio seemed to enjoy it
because he froze. His cock jerked against my tongue, and he cursed under
his breath. A moment later his load shot toward the back of my mouth, and
I gagged again, but he kept jizzing until there was nothing left and his hips
slowed.
“Fuck.” The drawn-out word was drowned out by another loud moan
from him.
I fumbled my cock out of my pants and jerked off fast, hoping to finally
blow as well, but he grabbed my wrist and yanked me to my feet. I
whimpered, almost begging for him to let me come, but he shook his head
before dropping to his knees. My heart almost stopped at the amazing sight,
but I didn’t have time to come to terms with what he was doing before he
had his lips wrapped around my cock. A few strokes of his tongue against
my sensitive length was all it took before I trembled through a body-
rocking orgasm that had my knees wobbling. An explosion of light flashed
behind my closed eyes—when did they shut?—and I threw my head back
and shuddered.
“Oh gods.” I reached out to grab something, but I was too far away
from the wall, and I would’ve fallen over if he hadn’t shot to his feet and
wrapped his arms around my upper body. I buried my face against his neck,
shaking through the intense feelings that rushed inside me.
“Shhh. I’ve got you.” Yukio kissed my temple, and I sighed. He cupped
my chin and dragged my face out of its hiding spot to kiss me, and I melted
under the touch of his lips against mine. He tasted divine, and I quickly
realized that it was me and him on our tongues.
Us.
Together.
The idea both scared and thrilled me.
“I’m okay,” I murmured, though I wasn’t sure how true the words were.
Everything around me seemed new, and I couldn’t remember the last time
I’d come as hard as I had just now. This was the first time I’d had a man’s
cock in my mouth and vice versa. It was the best experience I’d ever had. I
wanted it again. And again. And fuck, again. I also wanted to go further, but
the reality of where I was and who I was with came back to me like a
meteor crashing into the building.
 The sound of footsteps on the stairs had me jumping away from him,
nearly tripping over my pants around my thighs. My breath raced and I
grabbed my pants, tugging them up as fast as I could and buttoning them.
Yukio did the same, but he was much more relaxed than I was, and I hated
how calm he was about us potentially being caught. Didn’t he care that he’d
been with a man almost twice his age? Clearly not, and I didn’t want to
admit that his confidence was as sexy as the rest of him.
“Stay here,” I whispered urgently. “I’ll distract them.”
He raised his eyebrows at me, but I ignored the amusement that
flickered across his face as I straightened my suit and walked out from
between the jumble of unused furniture. I touched a hand to my chest,
hoping to calm my racing heart as I strode forward with as much conviction
as I had—which was barely anything. Dad always said I was like a mouse
in a snake cage, afraid as I scampered around looking for ways to escape.
Maybe he was right.
I froze when I nearly ran into the person who’d walked to the basement,
and my shirt collar strangled me. “Alex?”
My son blinked at me, mouth popping open in surprise. He stopped,
shocked, and gave me a slow once-over, his eyebrows dipping low on his
forehead. The look reminded me so much of Phillip, who always made the
same expression when he saw me—I was someone he couldn’t and didn’t
want to understand. “Dad?”
“Hi.” My chest rose and fell, and I made a noise in the back of my
throat that sounded more like a baby dinosaur than a human. “What are
you. . . . What are you doing down here?”
“Atlas said he saw Yu—” He cut himself off, then huffed. “Why are you
down here?”
“I’m a member of the staff, Alex. . . ander. Alexander. I was down here
to retrieve something I need.” I hated how easily the lie slipped from my
mouth, but I had no choice. I didn’t want to give him another reason to hate
me, and giving someone his age a blowjob was a perfect excuse. Not to
mention that someone was also a man. Alex would never forgive me.
He frowned and eyed me suspiciously. “What were you getting?” He
studied the area around us. “And I thought you would avoid a place like
this. It smells musty and everything is filthy. You hate dust.”
Dear gods. He was right. I’d made a point on more than one occasion to
send a student to places like this to retrieve things I needed because I hated
the odor and how it felt to walk into somewhere so dirty. When we’d been
on better terms, Alex had been my buddy and he’d done it for me.
“Sometimes I have no choice.” I pressed my mouth together, hoping he
would accept my reasoning.
He shook his head and shrugged. “Whatever.”
“What were you looking for?” I offered him a small smile, but it fell off
my lips when he snorted and stepped away from me.
“No one.”
The words seemed strange, but he didn’t say anything else, and I felt
like if I asked more questions, he would start snapping at me. Our
relationship was already so broken, and I didn’t know how to fix it. Human
connection was difficult for me, and I wasn’t one to care, but Alex was
different. He was my son. He was one person I did want to understand.
“Do you want to watch a movie tonight?” I stepped forward, reclaiming
the space he’d put between us. “Like we used to. I got the new movie about
Alexander the Great.” I laughed lightly because we’d always found the
Hollywood adaptations of the great Greek king’s history stupid.
“No.” He glared. “Why would I want to watch a movie with you?
You’re my dad and I’m not a kid anymore. And all you’ll do is rant about
accuracy.”
“But that was the fun part of watching together.” I hated how unsure I
sounded, and as much as I wanted to reach out to him, I didn’t dare, scared
he would reject me. Swallowing, I opened my mouth and closed it again.
What else could I say? Finally, something tumbled into my head. “How’s
hockey?”
He grunted. “That’s how out of touch you are. It’s basketball and
baseball. Fuck, Dad.” He shook his head.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, hoping he wouldn’t storm away. “I know
most of the hockey rules. I don’t understand basketball. If we could sit
down and you explain it to me—”
“That would be a waste of time,” he barked. “Whatever. I’m sure you
would be happier reading a book about it anyway.”
He left me there and stomped back up the stairs, each step a nail in the
coffin of our relationship, and no matter what I brought to the forefront of
my mind, I couldn’t think of anything that would stop him. I wanted to beg
him not to leave me, but Dad’s voice echoed in my head. “That’s pathetic,
boy. What are you? A woman?”
 I never wanted to be like Dad, but his toxic words had been poisoning
me for so long, I didn’t know what was right and wrong anymore. I
abhorred him, but I couldn’t get his voice out of my head, either, even
though I hadn’t seen him for years.
My heart ached for my son. I hoped I’d done better for him. Would I
ever mend our fractured relationship?
“Are you all right?”
Yukio’s voice startled me, and I spun. My cheeks flushed with heat.
“You’re still here.”
He chuckled and ran his fingers through his short black hair while he
hitched his book bag higher on one shoulder. His rings glinted under the
low hanging lights and the purple in his hair appeared more vibrant. He had
some lip gloss on, I thought, or maybe it was spit from when he’d. . . .
I shook my head and rubbed my chest. “I’m sorry. That was someone I
know.”
“Your son.” He stepped in closer to me and touched his hand to my
shoulder, and the grip made me wince. He was quick to raise his hand
again, and I smiled in apology.
“Sometimes. . . I don’t enjoy being touched. I. . . don’t feel comfortable
with it.”
He nodded, an understanding passing over his face. I’d never met
anyone like him. He seemed aware of me as I am, rather than trying to tell
me how I should act. “Can I ask you a question, Micah?”
I focused on the silver balls of the piercing through his right eyebrow
and nodded. “Yes.”
“This might come across as rude, so tell me off if you want, but are you
autistic? We think my brother Asuka is on the spectrum, and I’ve read about
it. My parents haven’t gotten him tested yet, though. You seem like you’re
not comfortable with people. He doesn’t really like anyone he isn’t familiar
with, so my mom works hard to make sure he has a stable environment.
He’s fine that way but not with strangers. He doesn’t like surprises much,
either.”
I sighed loudly. It wasn’t the question I’d been expecting, but hearing it
wasn’t a shock, either. “I don’t know. My father isn’t the type to get his kids
diagnosed with that sort of thing, and in the time I grew up, unless you were
cognitively impaired, it wasn’t something we knew much about. Back then,
you were either fine or you weren’t.”
 “But you’ve thought about it.” He smiled gently. “And you haven’t been
diagnosed?”
“I’d rather not go to the trouble.” I frowned and wrapped my arms
around myself like they were a shield. “I don’t want to know.”
He stayed silent for a moment before his grin returned. “Okay. So, if
you’re after someone to watch a movie with, I’d love to.”
“What?” I stared at him, and his smile widened.
“Netflix and chill, what do you think?” He waggled his eyebrows, and
my cheeks went hot again. I rubbed my face in embarrassment, and he
laughed.
“I know what that means,” I whispered, feeling more giddy than I’d
expected. “I’m not that old.”
His laughter grew, and while he didn’t touch me again, he moved in
closer. “It does mean what you think it does, but I didn’t mean it that way.
You came to watch me play my songs, so let’s do something you like. Let’s
watch your movie together, and you can rant as much as you want.”
My chest squeezed. “I complain about the historical accuracy a lot.
Probably too much. My son used to laugh at me.” I miss those times. I
turned to look up at the stairs. When did Alex begin to hate me so much?
Maybe it was when Candy and I divorced.
“I won’t laugh at you, but I will laugh with you.” His soft tone made me
glance at him and the way his eyes shone. He had gorgeous eyes. Warm and
brown. Comforting. “And I promise, we can pause the movie if you want,
and you can tell me how it’s wrong, and I’ll listen to every word you say
with interest.”
“Do you enjoy history?”
“Not really.” He winked. “But I’d like it a lot more if it was you who
taught me about it.”
I chuckled nervously and my entire body turned hot. My stomach
fluttered with weird sensations, and it took all my effort not to cringe at the
overwhelming embarrassment flooding me. “If you want.”
“Done. You and me. Tonight. It’s a date.”
“I—”
“Give me your address.” He tugged his phone out of his pocket and
typed something on the screen before passing it to me. I realized he’d typed
in my name, and he was waiting for my phone number and address, and as
anxious as I was, I typed both in for him before I passed the phone back.
“How about eightish? Is that too late?”
Even though he was asking, it sounded more like an order, and all I
could do was let out a weird sound and nod. “That’s fine.”
“Great. I’ll see you then. Can I kiss you?” This time, it was a question
he wanted answered. He tilted his head while he waited for me to decide.
“Yes, I’d like that.”
As soon as I spoke, he leaned in and pressed his mouth against mine. I
melted under the touch, and when he laid his hands on my hips, I moaned
because now that I knew what was happening—at least with Yukio—I was
more relaxed. I curled my arms around his neck, and he dragged me closer
by my waist.
Everything about him was addicting, from the faint scent of his cologne
—herbal and bright but not too strong for my sensitive nose—to the warmth
of his skin against mine, and I wanted more. I craved him, though I knew
being with someone around the same age as my son was wrong.
When he broke contact, I whimpered in disappointment.
“I’ll see you in a bit?” he murmured.
I nodded eagerly. “Yeah.”
He stepped back and winked. “I’ll let you go up first. I’ll wait for about
ten minutes before I follow you.”
With a sigh of relief, I gave him a thankful smile. I reached out to touch
his chest, and even though his shirt stopped our skin from making contact, it
was still nice to feel his heart under my palm. Then I left, nearly tripping up
the stairs as I ascended them.
I had a date.
Tonight.
With Yukio.
Oh gods, what should I wear? Should I cook dinner? How did I act?
Normal? Different?
Panic had me breathing fast, but I stopped and closed my eyes for a
moment. In my head, I started to list the Greek gods, and made it all the
way through and moved on to the Roman ones before the tightness in my
chest released.
I could do this.
Smiling, I started walking again.
I had a date!
OceanofPDF.com
 7

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

S liding a finger along my smooth jaw , I smirked at myself in my

dresser mirror. Yes, I’m fucking sexy. I considered taking out my eyebrow
piercings but shrugged and left all my jewelry in. If Micah didn’t like me
this way, we couldn’t be together.
Besides, he sure as hell didn’t complain earlier.
I let out a long breath and grinned. My body had been buzzing ever
since Micah had hit his knees for me, and I couldn’t stop smiling. Shaking
my head, I picked up the blue bottle of Versace Eros cologne from the top
of my dresser and gave myself a spritz, not really considering why I wanted
to look my best. The crisp fragrance with just a hint of vanilla hit my nose
and I smirked at my reflection, trying out a few smiles I used onstage, but
then stopped. I didn’t feel like I had to be anyone except myself with
Micah.
And holy fuck, I was overjoyed that I was making progress with my
plan to screw with Alexander Carrington—success in this venture would be
the equivalent of dropping him headfirst into a volcano—but I couldn’t say
that victory against my enemy was the true reason I was happy right now.
Micah had been pure sex magic on his knees for me.
The way he’d let me tell him what to do had really hit all my buttons
just right.
His lips around my dick were scorching hot, and I couldn’t wait to see
him do it again. Feel his tongue flutter over my cockhead. Hear his small
happy sounds as he sucked me down.
“Fuck, is it hot in here?” I tugged at my shirt collar.
 “No,” Milo said, and his tone let me know he wasn’t paying much
attention to me.
“Is it cold outside?” I asked him over my shoulder. I glanced back, and
he was sprawled on my bed on his belly, poking around on his phone. My
best friend plopped in the middle of my gray comforter was a familiar sight.
He didn’t like to be alone, and when we’d first met, I’d teased him, asking
him if he was afraid, but that had upset him, and I’d dropped the topic fast
since he was a good guy. I didn’t need a lot of personal space to be
comfortable anyway.
“Cold for someone from New Gothenburg or cold for you, Cali boy?”
He snickered.
“Don’t be a dick.”
He glanced up from his phone, and I turned around, tugging at the
sleeves of my blue Henley. I’d gotten this shirt for baseball practice when
the weather was still cool in the spring, but I liked the way it made my
muscles stand out.
“That should be good. It’s only sixty right now.”
Grunting, I turned back around to study myself in the mirror again. I
pulled at the bottom of my shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles.
In the mirror I noticed Milo snag one of the drumsticks from my
nightstand. He twirled the stick—or tried to anyway—then cursed under his
breath as it fell onto his phone on the bed. He tried twice more before I stole
the stick from him and gave it a real twirl. He groaned and rolled his eyes,
propping his chin up on his hand as he smiled at me. Without warning, I
jumped on top of Milo, and he yelped as I shoved my armpit in his face.
“Do I smell good?”
He laughed and shoved me off onto my side, and I bounced on the bed.
“Yeah, fucker.” He tossed the drumstick at me and missed. “If you sing,
why do you have those?”
“I do both so Glow can sing a few songs as front man. Don’t you
remember Born for Fear? I don’t sing that one.”
He hummed. “Oh yeah. Why do they call him that, anyway? Glow?
What’s his real name?”
“No idea and wouldn’t share if I knew.”
He pouted at me. Milo looked good stretched out with all his tattoos on
display in only a T-shirt and basketball shorts. There was no reason for him
to be spending the night alone, but he never went after anyone, which left
him at the mercy of people—like the neighbor lady—who decided they
wanted him. I couldn’t imagine living my life that way.
“What am I forgetting? Oh—” I rushed over to my dresser and tugged
open the top left-hand drawer. An assortment of fun things I would love to
use on Micah were hidden in boxes, but I didn’t go for any of the toys or
equipment. I snatched out two condoms, then shrugged and grabbed another
one, along with a mini bottle of Wild Cherry lube. After a second, I
switched it out for the Bubblegum Blast because I thought Micah might like
that better, and for some reason the flavor seemed to fit his personality,
though I couldn’t really base that on anything.
“Oh, it’s that kind of night?” Milo asked with an amused snort as I
stashed the supplies in my pocket, then whirled around.
I used my hip to knock the drawer closed. “You are so nosy.”
He crossed his arms and managed to look offended, which had me
chuckling. “Who are you going out with?”
“The luckiest guy in New Gothenburg.”
Milo sighed and flopped onto my bed again, face-first. I almost caved
and told him because he looked so miserable, but I wasn’t about to start shit
for Micah, and Milo was the best, but he had trouble keeping his mouth
shut when he had a juicy piece of gossip. He checked out of the corner of
his eye to see if I had any sympathy, but I only stared at him.
“Fine. Keep your stupid secrets. I don’t care.”
I snorted. “It’s eating you alive.”
He turned his head so he could glare at me, then flipped me off.
He yelped as I jumped toward the bed, but I was faster than him, since
he was imitating a slug right now, and I slapped his ass hard. Crack! My
hand stung, and he gasped, grabbing his butt like I’d murdered him. I was
cackling as I rushed toward the door.
“Fucker!” he yelled.
Stopping in the threshold, I whirled around. He hadn’t moved a muscle
to chase me. “I gotta go, but what are you doing tonight?”
Milo grunted and massaged his wounded asscheek. “I’m going to Void
with Brisco.”
Apprehension powered through me, and I gripped the doorknob, leaning
on it. “Don’t do that. I heard Void is rough. DeMarco got a tooth knocked
out there in a fistfight, and he plays hockey, so you know that’s brutal. It’s
also out in the boonies.”
 “You think anything a mile away from downtown is the boonies. It’s not
that far out.” Milo shrugged, obviously not giving a shit. “I won’t be alone.
It’s fine.”
I knocked on the doorjamb. “Push the lock on my door when you leave.
Kinsey has been stealing my clothes without asking because he’s too lazy to
do his laundry, and I’m done with it.”
Milo laughed and nodded, and I was a few steps down the hallway in
the house we rented together, along with four other guys, when he called
my name. “My mom wants you to come over this weekend for my sister’s
birthday party!”
“I’m down for it! I’m late. Talk to you later!”
I ran the rest of the way to the front door to avoid anyone else, leaping
over a laundry basket of clean clothes at the bottom. Austin waved at me in
apology as he walked toward me. He was a big blond bear of a guy who
played football.
“Sorry, Yukio.”
“No worries!” I smiled at him, but then took the time to glare on
purpose at Kinsey as I rushed past him in the living room because he
deserved it after he’d been raiding my stuff. He only waved and smiled
back. The dick. He flopped his head to the side and shoved his curly brown
hair off his forehead. He closed his eyes and his heart-shaped face went
slack with bliss. He was about my size but slimmer, and the lazy bastard
was busy vaping something that smelled like cotton candy and was
probably laced with THC. I didn’t think the weed juice had anything to do
with him stealing my stuff—I smoked on occasion—he just came from a
family that had even more money than mine and still hadn’t figured out
how to live without staff kissing his ass.
Nerves smashed into me as I made it outside, then climbed into my
Porsche Boxter. I ran my hands over my jeans and glanced in the rearview
mirror, but nothing had changed since two minutes ago. I blew out a long
breath and started the engine, grinning as she purred. I opened my phone
and started the map app that would lead me to Micah’s house because I still
didn’t know all the suburbs yet.
On the way to Micah’s my stomach clenched and my hands slipped with
sweat on the steering wheel. I was more than a little shocked at the way I
was feeling, but I couldn’t stop smiling. My heart did a weird thing where it
felt like it was going a hundred miles per hour for a few minutes while I
took a trip down memory lane. I relived him crawling to me because he
wanted my dick.
“Fuck,” I said with a laugh. “I’m excited.” I adjusted my semi so it
wasn’t stuck at an uncomfortable angle in my pants.
The night pressed in on me as I navigated into a small cul-de-sac with a
decorative pond in the center, then pulled the Boxter into the driveway of a
very tiny house. I would be surprised if there was more than one bedroom.
The place had an interesting, angular masculine design with a slanted metal
roof and a lot of large square windows with curtains pulled across them.
The exterior might be made of dark wood, though I couldn’t be sure in the
gloom, and the design was modern, which was unusual for the area. I’d
thought with Micah teaching history, he might be in a dusty old house, but
the longer I stared at the quirky building, the more it fit him.
The motif was very sleek, and he would be the same way naked.
I got out of my car and walked up a small cement footpath, and on
either side solar lights glowed, interspersed between plants, in what I
thought was a small herb garden. I wasn’t sure why the idea of Micah out
here picking leaves to add to his dinner made me happy, but I was smiling
when I knocked on the front door.
About a minute dragged past.
Frowning, I knocked again, and when no one answered, I checked my
phone. Yes, the numbers on the small golden plaque attached to the side of
the house matched the address I’d been given. I was in the right spot. I
glanced around. There was a car in the driveway, so I assumed Micah was
home. I knocked again, and a loud clatter inside had my hair standing on
end. The noise just had that sound like it had led to a spectacular fucking
mess. I tried the doorknob and pushed, and when the door moved, I shot
inside.
Off to my left Micah stood with horror etched onto his face. I blinked
against the brightness of the inside of the house. The man didn’t know
about mood lighting, apparently, because it was like stepping into the center
of the sun. The delicious scent of barbecue was in the air, but I tried to tell
my mouth to stop watering because at his feet was a smashed glass baking
dish, sauce, and ribs. Wicked looking glass shards glittered everywhere. He
blinked up at me, and I closed the door, then rushed in his direction. The
gray wooden floor had a blast radius of sauce that started about five feet
away from him and seemed to have gone in every direction.
 “Are you hurt?”
He shook his head, but his face flushed red and his gray eyes grew
shiny, like maybe he wanted to cry. His shoulders hunched. I carefully made
my way around the mess—well, as much as I could—before taking the
oven mitts off his hands. That was when I noticed the food on the floor was
still steaming.
“Are you sure you’re not burned?” I frowned up at his face.
He nodded, but I didn’t like the way he’d gone stiff. I clasped his hands,
and he jerked them away but finally stared at me and seemed to really see
me for the first time since I’d arrived.
“You’re certain you’re okay?” My stomach sank as his bottom lip
wobbled.
Micah gestured toward the floor. “I wanted this to be nice. I’m sorry.”
Grunting, I looked him over. Somehow his socks had missed getting
coated with food, or he might’ve been hurt. “It’s fine. Shit happens. Such is
life.”
He crossed his arms over his middle and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he
stared forlornly around at the mess that had crawled up the sides of the gray
breakfast bar to my right and counters to my left. The fact that this was an
open-plan living space had really let the mess spread far and wide.
“Micah, are you sure you’re okay?” He didn’t seem as if he was really
hearing me. “All right. This is fine. We’ll fix it,” I said with a smile.
He glanced at me and his eyebrows furrowed as he hunched farther in
on himself. Holding up my hands, I rested them lightly on his, even though
they were tight to his arms, and this time he allowed me to touch him. I
pried one of his hands up, then snatched a white dish towel off the breakfast
bar. He groaned when I used the cloth to wipe a path clear for him through
the explosion, the white material staining a reddish brown that reminded me
of blood, and he stepped toward me.
“Careful. You don’t have shoes on. Stay where I cleaned the glass
away.”
He nodded and walked to the other side of me, staring at the ruined food
like he couldn’t comprehend the mess. It was fucking epic, I had to hand it
to him.
“What happened?” I straightened and tossed the dish towel back on the
floor.
 He shrugged. “The oven mitt had a hole in it. The pan burned me, and I
panicked.”
Frowning, I flipped his hand over. “I don’t see a mark?”
He sighed and red crawled up his neck and made the blush on his face
even deeper. “It just startled me.”
I tugged on his hand and my chest felt warm as he let me lead him away
from the mess and deeper into the house. Everything was clean lines. The
walls were white and spotless. In fact, it almost felt like a model of a house
that no one spent much time in. It wasn’t a very big place and there was a
laptop set up on a coffee table across from a couch, and beyond that there
was a gas fireplace with flames flickering low. There were only two doors,
but they were next to each other, so I led him in that direction, and he
moved to the one on the right.
Micah stopped and stared at me, chewing on his bottom lip. His fingers
curled around mine, and I squeezed back. “I wanted to cook for you
because when I was in school, I was always broke and could never afford
anything—”
“I don’t have that issue,” I said, patting his shoulder. “If you’re fine, I’m
fine.”
“But I wanted this to be nice.”
Nodding, I stared into his eyes, and he seemed so lost. That emotion
living inside him tugged at something deep in my core. I wanted to make
whatever was wrong in his life better. “It was a perfect idea. There was just
an accident. Why don’t you go get cleaned up. Er. . . .” I spotted some sauce
that had gotten into his curls and flashed him a smile. “You need to
shower.” I tapped the top of his head, and he groaned. “You’re messy.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and still seemed to be bracing for the worst,
which made me determined not to get flustered.
“Just shower. That’s your job right now, okay? I want you to do that.”
He gave me a wary look but nodded, then hustled off toward the door
on the right. I wanted to snoop when I caught a flash of a bed inside as he
rushed into the room, but rather than do that, I was good.
“Hm.” I walked over to stare down at the amazing catastrophe on the
floor in the kitchen area, then glanced at my clean clothes. That sauce and
my threads were not going to mix. I took off my shirt and draped it over a
tall chair at the end of the breakfast bar, then kicked off my shoes and
shoved my pants down.
 “Well, this is one way to get me naked. Not the way I wanted,” I said
with a laugh, then draped my pants over my shirt. Thankfully I’d gone with
boxers tonight, so I didn’t think I would be scaring Micah too much.
Normally I didn’t mess around with the button, but I popped it through the
hole so I wouldn’t flash him if he came out while I was unfucking this
mess. I put my shoes back on, then grabbed a roll of paper towels off the
counter. The garbage can was at the other end of the breakfast bar, so I went
around on the clean side and grabbed it.
Before I started on this rescue mission, I tugged my phone from my
pants pocket, then found the online order form for Manzi’s, my favorite
restaurant in New Gothenburg. Milo had introduced me to the food, and I
loved it. I ordered chicken parm and a few other things because Italian food
was usually safe, even for selective eaters. With a deep breath, I got to
work.
By the time I was finishing up and tossed a rag into a bucket full of
soapy water—I’d found both when I’d snooped under the sink—I heard a
gasp behind me. I stood and slowly stretched, then turned around.
Micah’s curly hair was wet, and it snagged my attention first because it
was extra springy and I wanted to run my hands through it. His eyes were
wide as he stared around the clean kitchen, and I loved how cute he looked
in jeans and a plain pink T-shirt. He was hot in a suit, but he seemed softer
and cuddlier this way, and it wasn’t a bad look for him at all, especially
since the material stretched nicely across his pecs. It was clear he had good
genes and didn’t really work out, but overly muscled guys weren’t my type
anyway.
“You cleaned up,” he said, sounding totally baffled. “And you’re almost
naked.”
Laughing, I planted my hands on my hips because I wasn’t ashamed of
my body art—or anything else I had to offer. He took a long time staring at
the tattoos on my chest, and by the way he nibbled on that bottom lip again
I thought he liked them. His nostrils flared, and I ran my hand down my
abs.
“Why do you have curse words tattooed on you?” he murmured with a
small frown.
“Why not?” I held in a smile and stared at him.
He tilted his head as if he was giving that some real thought. “Okay. But
why are you not dressed?”
 “I didn’t want to ruin my clothes.” I shrugged.
“You cleaned it all?” He shook his head as he walked around the
kitchen. The scent of lavender from the soap I’d found next to the sink
lingered in the air. Pink lit up his cheeks, brighter than the last time I’d
gotten a blush out of him. “You must want to leave.”
Strolling toward him, I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”
He flashed a glance down my body, and I swore I saw him shiver. Fuck,
that was cute. “Why?”
“One, because I didn’t see a movie with you yet.” I tapped the underside
of his chin, and he let out a long breath. “Two, because we didn’t eat
anything together yet.” I tugged on his bottom lip just a little, and his knees
almost gave out, but he caught himself against the counter. “Three, because
you sucked my brain out of my dick earlier, so I kinda want to be available
for a replay.” I blew him a kiss.
He shuffled from foot to foot. “You liked that?”
“I loved it.”
A smile tugged on the corners of his lips and he was still flushed, but he
looked less upset. “I would like that, too.” He glanced around, then rushed
over to the chair where I’d flung my clothing. “Let me get these for you.”
I kicked off my shoes, and he picked up my pants. Something hit the
floor and skidded to a stop at his feet. At first, I thought it might’ve been
my key fob, but no. Of course not. I chuckled.
He made an adorable little noise and froze.
Amusement had me fighting down a laugh as he tilted his head and
stared at the floor, and then he bent and picked up the fluorescent pink
bottle of lube. He stared at me and held it up, along with a condom that
must’ve slipped out of my pocket. I walked over to him and took my pants
from his loose grasp. I stepped into my jeans and watched him have a very
small meltdown while his mouth opened and closed as I zipped, buttoned,
then buckled my belt. He didn’t say anything until after I’d tugged the
Henley down over my head, and only whimpered when I took the lube and
condom from him and slipped them back into my pocket.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” he said softly.
The blush was still there, lighting up his cheeks, and he pursed his lips.
I’d never seen anyone look that bashful in real life, and I wanted to hug
him.
 “That’s fine.” I had a million questions, though. How could a man with
a son my age be acting like he’d never seen lube in his life? What was
going on there?
“Is it?” he asked, staring into my eyes.
My chest squeezed. “Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “You look nice.”
“Oh,” he said, plucking at his shirt. “Thank you. Uh. . . .” He glanced
toward the laptop on the coffee table across the room. Wincing, he stared up
at the bright overhead lights. “Do you mind if I turn those off and switch on
the lamp?” He pointed at one nearby, probably the only light that wasn’t
burning. “I’ve been told before that other people don’t like to be in the
dark.” He frowned at the bright lights again. “If that’s okay. Is it okay?” He
blinked at me and tugged on the bottom of his shirt.
I decided to throw a dog a bone and help him out, since he was
struggling so hard. “That’s fine by me. I ordered dinner. Why don’t we start
the movie while we wait?”
His head jerked up and he straightened. “You did?”
I couldn’t help it. He looked so confused that I had to laugh. “Yeah,
why?”
“I’ve just never had someone be so, uh, direct. And nice.” He gestured
at the clean kitchen.
Grinning, I shrugged. “I don’t screw around.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Except with sex.”
A burst of confidence hit me as his shoulders curled forward, and I got
the feeling that he was waiting for me to make the first move. I reached up
and slid my hand around the back of his neck, and a sweet heat I hadn’t
expected curled in my stomach as the breath left him. He stepped closer,
and he was so much taller than me that it meant I had to pull him down
farther, but his mouth fell open as if he loved me using some muscle to
move him.
“That isn’t screwing around. That’s taking what I want,” I said.
He stared at my mouth, and I couldn’t help but give in. I yanked him in
for a sweet kiss that turned into me nipping his bottom lip, then fucking my
tongue into his mouth. When I took a step back, he was panting and the
bulge in his jeans was big enough that I wanted to lay him flat somewhere
and play with it. Fucking beautiful.
I slid my palm down his chest, directly toward his crotch, and he
nodded as I closed my hand over his hard-on. His eyes slammed shut and
his small groan filled the room. The sexy little sound had all my most
dominant instincts roaring to life. I pulled him in for another kiss, and a
knock on the door startled us.
“Who is that?” he asked, almost sounding scared.
Shrugging, I glanced toward the front door. “The food I ordered. Why
don’t you take care of the lights and go get comfy on the couch? If you
don’t mind us eating there, that is.”
He nodded, and I could feel him staring at me as I turned away to
answer the door. I didn’t hate having his attention glued to me. In fact, just
the opposite. I never wanted him to look anywhere else.

OceanofPDF.com
 8

OceanofPDF.com
 MICAH

“S ee what they did there ?” I shouted , pointing at the screen and

nearly driving myself to my feet, but then stopped halfway and fell back
onto the couch. “They did it again. The boring rhetoric insinuating that
Alexander and Hephaestion were only friends. They do this all the time.” I
used air quotes for the next sentence, though my hands were swinging
around with enough force to seriously hurt Yukio if he got in the way. I
almost knocked an empty food container off the end of the coffee table, but
he caught it before I could make a new mess. “They were just roommates or
just friends. It’s total straight man bullshit. They clearly didn’t consult with
any historians, and if they did, they didn’t use their advice.”
“Aren’t there historians who believe they were only friends?” Yukio’s
mouth quirked, and I thought he was teasing me, but I was on a rant and
nothing could stop me.
“They are not historians,” I argued with a glare. “Those people don’t
know anything about ancient Greek culture.”
To my surprise, I didn’t cringe away from him as he wrapped an arm
around my shoulders, dragging me closer. I snuggled against him and
sighed through my irritation about the inaccuracy. That was the problem
with most historical Hollywood movies—they didn’t respect the truthful
events. A few timeline changes for the sake of drama I could deal with, but
pretending that Alexander and Hephaestion were only friends? No.
Absolutely not. It wasn’t history’s fault that some heterosexual people
couldn’t handle a gay relationship.
 He pressed his nose into my hair and breathed me in. “You smell so
good.”
I stiffened, nerves assaulting my stomach like it was being pelted by a
BB gun, and then I relaxed again and my eyes slipped closed automatically.
Despite what I’d expected him to do—seduce me during the movie as he
tried to get me into my bedroom—Yukio had been a gentleman, and he’d
done exactly as he’d promised. He’d listened to me rant and scream and
express my disgust over the inaccuracies, and he’d smiled while I did it.
“Can I kiss you?”
Wow. I liked that he asked. Everyone else I knew in my life touched me,
even when I outright told them it made me uncomfortable at that specific
time. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy another man laying a hand on me—or his
lips—but there were moments when I was anxious or upset and I didn’t
want anyone near me, let alone in my personal space. Not a lot of people
understood or accepted my reasoning.
“I have a question for you.” He kissed my forehead and it was so tender
I couldn’t help but sigh in pleasure.
“Yes?” I didn’t care that the movie was still playing because it was a
stupid adaptation of real-life events anyway. As soon as they’d made
Alexander a straight ruler, I’d known the story would be terrible. I’d had
such high hopes, too.
“You said before that you don’t want to know if you have autism. Can I
ask why?”
The question seemed personal, but I didn’t mind. I preferred people to
be blunt because I never understood the need to beat around the bush. If
everything was out in the open, then there weren’t any miscommunications.
“Because I don’t trust my community not to treat me differently.” I
pursed my lips in thought, gathering words in my head before I spoke again.
“The world is quickly going backward, and I’m scared that if I’m diagnosed
as autistic, I could have my rights taken away. It’s probably a baseless fear,
but look at how some states are treating trans people. They’ve already
started on mental illness as well. I’ve heard stories of autistic parents losing
their children. While I don’t have to worry about that with Alex, I do have a
career I love, and I can’t risk that. All it would take is one person in the
department to assume I couldn’t do my job, and they would find a reason to
get rid of me. Maybe not tomorrow but eventually.”
 He placed his hand on top of mine. “We’re in New York, though. You’re
safe here. There are laws to protect people.”
“Am I safe?” I tilted my head and stared at him seriously. “People in
other states thought they were safe, too. Trans people thought they were on
a course to acceptance in general. So did drag queens. Safety is always in
question for the trans community, but until recently this country seemed to
be on track to being decent to all our citizens. There was a lot of work to go,
but I thought we were moving in the right direction. Now, I’m scared for
our future generations. I’m scared for me.”
He kissed my cheek, and I sighed, leaning against his lips. “Don’t be
afraid. We’ll fight. Gay people have always existed, Micah, and they’ve
tried to shove us back into the closet a thousand times. We won’t let them
win.”
I wanted to believe him so bad. Slipping my eyes closed, I let him pull
me into a hug. He was smaller than any man I’d imagined myself with, but
he had strong arms. The force behind his hold made me relax, and I
exhaled, letting the anger from my ranting slip away like a leaf in the wind.
He pressed pause on the movie and the quietness created an even more
relaxing atmosphere, and any anxiety I had about the idea of having sex
disappeared with the irritation. He was sweet but also dominant, and I
enjoyed that—more than I should.
“Do you want to keep watching?”
I hummed and laid my head against his chest. “No. I’m done. It was
stupid.”
He laughed gently. “Yeah, it was.”
“You would think at this point Hollywood could make a good
Alexander the Great movie.” I pouted.
His laughter deepened and echoed in the room. His easygoing mood
was addicting, and the rhythm of his heart thumped as though beating to
one of his rock songs, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes. At some point,
I must’ve fallen asleep because when I startled awake, he wasn’t hugging
me.
Yukio stood in front of the couch, his phone pressed to his ear as he
whispered furiously into it. I couldn’t hear him at first, but as the
conversation went on, his voice rose. “Damn it, Milo, I’m on a date.”
Whoever was on the other side of the conversation spoke back, and he
exhaled loudly, rubbing a tattooed hand over his face in exasperation. A
couple of solid rings on his slim fingers caught my attention, and I focused
on them, curious why he loved that kind of jewelry. Everything he wore fit
him perfectly, though, from the beaded necklaces to the small silver studs in
his ears. He was gorgeous and definitely not the type I’d expected to be
with. He wasn’t skinny, but his chest was sinewy. Yet, he was also very
gruff and rock ‘n’ roll— something that had also not been my thing.
“Now?” He groaned and glanced at me, stilling when his gaze met
mine. He winced and mouthed sorry as he reached out to card his fingers
through my hair, and I raised my chin to get more of his touch. He chuckled
and smoothed his palm down my cheek and across my jaw. Finally, he
sighed. “All right. I’ll be there in about half an hour. Don’t leave. I’m
serious, Milo. Don’t move an inch. You’re too drunk.” He ended the call.
“A friend of yours?” I yawned so widely that my jaw cracked, and I
cringed.
“Yeah. He’s at that new club, Void, and needs a lift home.” He went to
his knees in front of me and rubbed my shoulder. “How about we do this
again sometime?”
“I can come with you?” I offered. I didn’t know why I said anything
because meeting Yukio’s friends this early in the relationship—was this a
relationship?—was probably stupid, but I held my ground anyway. Who
cared that his friends were likely the same age as him, thus making them
early twenties? Jeeze. That was crazy.
“Would you want to?” He tickled his fingers down my arm, and I didn’t
mind it. “They’re really drunk. I can’t promise they won’t say anything
stupid.”
I shrugged. “I work with college students. I’m sure I can handle it.”
He grinned and stood, holding out his hand. Hesitantly sliding my
fingers along his palm, I let him pull me to my feet. “We could take my car,
but it’s a Porsche Boxter and there isn’t much room in it.”
“Oh.” I chewed on the corner of my mouth and gave him a small smile.
“We could take mine. It’s a Kia, but it has a back seat. How many guys are
we taking home?”
“Two at the most. My buddy Milo and maybe one of the guys on the
team. He’s also in my band.”
I nodded and went to the kitchen. There was a hook on the bottom of
the cupboard above the end of the counter, and I grabbed the keys I kept
there so I always knew where to find them. To my surprise, he took my
jangling keys from my fingers and stared at the cartoon dog with
Macedonian armor I used as a key ring. He chuckled, and my cheeks
burned.
“Sweet,” he murmured before he closed his hand around the keys. I
assumed the gesture meant he was driving, and while it was very forward
and I thought wasn’t exactly normal, I wasn’t angry because I hated driving
at night. The streetlights and headlights from other cars hurt my eyes and it
was hard to concentrate.
I led him out the front door, and he locked it, since he had the keys,
before he followed me to the driveway. He went straight to the driver’s side,
and I dutifully headed for the passenger door. We got in, and as soon as he
turned the Kia on, he was backing out.
We took off down the small street, and I settled in, my eyes burning
from fatigue. I yawned again, and he reached across to run his hand down
the back of my head. He was very touchy, and as much as I hated that with
everyone else, I didn’t mind it too much with him. I had a feeling that if I
told him no, he would listen, and maybe that was the difference.
I yawned too many times on the way there, and I hated how tired I was,
but he was a good driver, so I was able to relax and close my eyes. I rested
my head against the window. When we got to the outskirts of the city, the
lights weren’t as present or bright, and I could keep my eyes open without
them burning.
“Why is the club so far out?” I asked tiredly.
He shrugged. “Probably because it’s a rowdy scene. They have raves
and shit from what I hear.”
“Are you from New Gothenburg?” Even though I whispered, my voice
was loud in the otherwise quiet car. He hadn’t turned on music, and I
assumed it was because he wanted to let me sleep without disturbing me.
He seemed very considerate, unlike Alex. Maybe I was wrong about his
maturity.
“Nah.” He snorted. “I’m from Cali. I showed you my driver’s license,
remember?”
“Oh right! Why here?” I scrunched up my nose. “It’s not the most
amazing place in the world.”
He chuckled. “It’s on the other side of the country, and that makes it
damned good to me.”
 “Why?” The only time I got to clearly see his face was when we passed
a light and it flashed across his profile, and I didn’t like it. I preferred to see
people’s expressions so I could try to work out what they were thinking.
“Eh. Parents.”
The way he said that word reminded me I was a father and Alex was the
same age as Yukio. I held in a groan and focused on the road in front of us.
We passed a DUI checkpoint that wasn’t set up and running yet, so it was
smart that Yukio’s friend had asked for a ride—beyond safety reasons.
After another mile or so, we finally came to the club. I’d never heard of
it, but that wasn’t shocking because I hated anything social. By the
appearance of the outside, it wasn’t my type of scene anyway. Bright lights
were everywhere, with an abundance of colors. The exterior alone was an
overstimulation that made my head hurt.
Two stories high, Void was a square building painted completely black.
The sign at the top of the door was lit up in red, but it flashed silver and
back again multiple times. The windows were blocked with something
metallic, and a man was painted on the glass holding two swirling celestial
clouds, like some sort of wizard. The music was loud enough that I could
hear it pumping from out here in the car. The entire club was in poor taste,
if you asked me. Who would name this kind of establishment Void?
Wouldn’t that be the absence of all this irritation?
Yukio eased the car into an empty spot, which took us about five
minutes to find. The lot was packed. He put the Kia into Park and grinned at
me. “You want to stay here?”
“No.” I already had my door open and was hopping out. “I’ll come with
you. I don’t mind.” I paused and glanced at him with a frown. Maybe he
would be embarrassed by me? “Unless you don’t want me to go in.”
He shook his head immediately and stepped out of his side. He made his
way around to me and held out his hand. “Of course I want you to come
with me. I get to show you off to everyone then.”
I stared suspiciously, then reminded myself I was an instructor. If
anyone should be ashamed, it was me. But he wasn’t in any of my classes,
which meant this. . . whatever this was. . . wasn’t out of bounds. The only
one who would care was Alex, and he didn’t know I was gay. This club
wasn’t his or his friends’ scene, though, so I didn’t worry about running
into them. Last I knew, Alex was into country music.
 I slipped my hand into Yukio’s, and we walked toward the club. Even
though it was one in the morning, there was still a long line out the front
door, and the bouncers were letting one person in at a time, but only when
someone came out. Two men were leaning against the wall near the
bouncers, staring at the bright screen of a phone and laughing at something.
“Hey! Milo! Brisco!” Yukio threw an arm in the air as he got closer, and
the two guys glanced up.
One of the men—tall with short brown hair and an array of tattoos
across his muscular biceps—straightened, but he would’ve toppled over
again if the other guy didn’t catch him. They both giggled like children. The
shorter boy with shoulder-length blond hair and a nose piercing hooked his
arm around the brunet’s upper back and helped him as they walked toward
us.
“What the hell did you two do?” Yukio shook his head and waved his
hand at the tattooed guy. “Milo, come on, man. You never get drunk, and
we’ve got practice tomorrow. Coach will be pissed. You’re gonna have a
serious hangover.”
Coach? I wanted to ask him what he played, but Milo spoke first.
“Hey, I’m sober.” Milo giggled some more, and his gaze slid to me. He
hummed. “Is this your boyfriend?” He singsonged the last word as he
nearly toppled over, but the blond kept him upright. “He’s cute. Older than I
expected. What do you study?”
“I don’t—”
Yukio shushed me with a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t mind him. He’s
drunk.” Then he turned his attention back to Milo and gestured for them to
follow us. “Come on, man. Let’s get you to the car.”
“But why?” Milo whined, pouting at the blond—who I assumed was
Brisco. “He wants to ruin our fun.”
Brisco rolled his eyes and gave us a grin. “He was trying to out drink
the new hockey player.”
“What new hockey player?” Yukio held my hand, and his grip was tight
and really nice. If I kept my eyes away from the blinding light of the
flashing sign, I was fine from burning eyes, too. We walked back toward the
car.
“NG State got a new guy on the school team. I heard they paid him to
come.” Brisco shrugged.
 “Fuck off,” Milo slurred. “They can’t pay a student to come play for
them.”
“They don’t need to pay with money. Or they could’ve done it under the
table.”
I held in a snort. I wouldn’t put it past some members of the faculty to
do that. According to them, in more than one staff meeting, sports brought
in funds for the school. Though we were an academic education facility, our
sports teams came first. If a player wasn’t maintaining their grades? We had
to do what we could to make them pass. Find them a tutor. Or even give
them private lessons. I never understood the idolizing of these types of
students, and as much as possible, I refused to participate in the
shenanigans.
Milo leaned forward and nearly tipped over, but Brisco grabbed him
again. He tilted his head. “Do I know you?”
I opened my mouth, but the sound of something loud and abrupt in the
air had me closing it again. The screech of tires and more crack, crack,
crack, like someone setting off fireworks close by, made me freeze and
glance around. Was that music?
A red car came tearing through the parking lot with a woman in a black
leather jacket hanging halfway out the front window. Something silver
gleamed in her hand. She pointed it at the bouncers.
Crack. Crack. Crack.
The sharpness of the noise made me flinch. “Is that—”
“Micah, move!” Yukio grabbed me and dragged me behind a vehicle. I
shouted in surprise as we crashed to the asphalt and my elbows scratched
across the hard surface. He held me close, and I threw my hands over my
ears as screaming echoed through the air, louder than the music inside the
club.
What was happening?
“Stay down,” Yukio ordered into my ear, and he didn’t need to tell me
twice.
My entire body shook as fear overtook every sense.
Were we going to die?

OceanofPDF.com
 9

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

M icah trembled against me , and an anger purer than anything I’ d

ever experienced sparked in my chest and crackled like a live wire. Droplets
of blood welled on his elbows, and I hated that he was hurt. I watched the
customized red Mustang tear out of the parking lot with irritation crawling
across my skin.
“Really? You had to do this shit tonight?” I grumbled to the universe.
“Why? Fuckers.”
“Are they coming back?” Micah pressed his face against my chest and
his curls tickled my chin.
“Probably not but stay here.” I gave him a squeeze, and he nodded.
“Fuck, where’s Milo?” I went up on my knees and peeked over the hood of
the old blue Buick we were crouched against. Dad always said hiding
behind old cars was best if you ever found yourself in crossfire because
they were more likely to be made of metal. Relief smacked me when I
spotted Milo huddled near the next car over. Brisco had a horrible scowl on
his face, and at first, I couldn’t figure out why, but then Milo’s shoulders
heaved, and I turned away rather than watching him lose all the alcohol
he’d guzzled.
“Yikes,” I mumbled.
The music in the club stopped thudding, and the shift was so abrupt it
felt eerie. Someone was sprawled on the ground holding their chest near the
front doors, so at least one person was probably wounded.
I hugged Micah tight. “I’m sorry. I never thought anything like this
would happen, or I wouldn’t have brought you with me.”
 Micah squeezed me as if I was the only thing anchoring him to the
ground in a tornado.
I kissed his temple.
“Would you have still come out if you thought this would happen?” he
asked quietly.
Shrugging, I glanced down and was relieved to see one gray eye
peeking up at me. “Of course. I had to get Milo. Plus, Coach would be
pissed if I didn’t watch out for the other guys on the basketball team. I can’t
lose a member of my band, either. I had to show up for a lot of reasons.”
Micah let out a small whimper, then uncurled. “Bravery was one of the
five virtues of the ancient Greeks.” He smiled at me and patted my chest.
“Obviously I don’t have it. That’s why I sent Alex to a military academy.
What could I teach him? You’ve got it, though.”
I didn’t mean to stiffen at the mention of Alexander’s name, but I did.
Micah frowned.
I gave him a tight hug. “Oh yeah?”
He nodded and sat back a little more but didn’t try to shove away from
me.
I cupped his cheek. “Are you doing all right? Let’s try to stand up. Do
you think you can?”
Micah shook his head hard enough that his curls bounced. “No, I don’t
want to. What if they come back?”
“Okay, hold on.” He clawed at my shirt as I stood, but I patted him.
That red Mustang was long gone. I stared around. Milo was still losing his
guts. Brisco was leaning against someone’s car. People had started to spill
out of the club and gawk at the wounded person. There was a lot of frantic
activity in that area, as if maybe the people surrounding the person were
trying to stifle blood. I chewed on my bottom lip. Every fiber of my being
screamed that we should go, now, before we got caught up in this mess.
“They’re gone,” I said, holding a hand out to Micah.
He bit his lip, then took my hand, glancing around uncertainly as he
stood.
Sirens pierced the night, screaming toward us from the direction of the
DUI checkpoint we’d passed on the way here, and I groaned as Micah
cringed against my side and slammed his hands over his ears. The cop cars
tore into the parking lot, squealing tires as they left the road, and they were
going so fast that the lead car almost blasted into a woman who was
walking out of the club. She flattened herself to the side against a car and
flipped them off, but the policeman driving didn’t stop until his car was
almost up on the shooting scene.
“Assholes!” she screamed.
The other two cop cars I’d seen at the checkpoint came to a stop behind
the leader.
Micah trembled, and I tried to hug him, but he sort of used his elbow to
push on my shoulder, so I just left one arm around him. I glanced down at
the drops of blood on my shirt, but I was more worried that he was still
bleeding than about the fabric. This was a clusterfuck. We watched as an
ambulance came in and parked directly beside the cop cars. Micah seemed
torn between turning away and staring, transfixed, at the EMTs shoving
through the line of police, who didn’t seem to be doing much except talking
to bystanders.
“Are you okay?” I shouted over to Milo and Brisco. They both nodded,
even though Milo was still on his knees surrounded by a mess. Finally
Brisco tugged Milo to his feet, and they weaved their way toward us.
“I’m sick,” Milo said, pointing big brown eyes in my direction. He was
a disgusting mess. His shirt was ruined and he smelled like someone had
dumped pure alcohol over his head.
“Whose fault is that?” I asked, smirking at him.
He flipped me off. “It wasn’t mine! Jägermeister gets me every time.”
Brisco wobbled. “I’m too drunk for this shit.” He scrubbed at his face.
While we stood there staring at all the activity, the cops turned and
scanned the gathered crowd, looking for something, but it was anyone’s
guess what. Another cop car came into the lot, this one without the siren
blasting, and I sighed.
We weren’t going anywhere.
Micah still had his hands over his ears, and I tapped his left one, but he
only shook his head at me. The cops fanned out and started talking to
people, and one big, muscled guy with a serious scowl came toward us.
Micah cringed against my side, and I tilted my chin back, not bothering to
hide any of my ink.
I looked like someone who was up to no good, and I was fine with that.
For years it had been true, and my father had encouraged me every step
of the way. That was part of why I’d moved across the country to go to
school. Dad wanted me out of California because something was going on
with the family business, but I also never would’ve paid attention to college
classes if I’d stayed at home. I had too many friends and too many other
things I could’ve been doing.
“Micah,” I said, raising my voice a bit so I could be heard. “Put your
hands down.”
He shook his head, and the cop was staring at us as he walked my way.
Shit. “Yes. The sirens are done. Come on? Please?” I tried to put my
arms around him again, but he shook his head, and I just patted his side.
“What’s going on?” the cop asked as he got closer, but before I could
say anything, Milo put a hand on his gut, gave me a terrible look, and lost
his stomach all over the pavement, splashing the cop’s shoes and the hem of
his navy blue uniform pants. We all stared at the mess in horror, including
the cop.
“How is there still that much inside you?” Brisco asked, then
immediately started cackling.
The cop closed his eyes and shook his head before glaring at Milo.
“Seriously? For real? You boys aren’t driving drunk tonight.” It wasn’t a
question, he was telling us, and he pointed at Milo, then dragged his finger
down the line to stop on me. “Are you driving them, sir?” he asked Micah.
Thank God, Micah finally lowered his hands. “I’m sorry, could you
repeat that?”
The cop sighed. “The boys. Are you driving them?”
I hated that Micah had to answer when he still looked like he was three
seconds away from fainting. He caught my eye, and I nodded.
“Absolutely,” he said, but he didn’t sound very confident in his answer.
The cop glared at his messy shoes, then at me again. “I’m Officer
Rogers, and I’m telling you to stay put. Someone will be around to take a
statement. We need to know if you saw anything of interest.”
“Guessing he doesn’t mean that girl who was dancing with her shirt off
earlier,” Brisco said with a chuckle. Officer Rogers heard him and raised an
eyebrow, and Brisco tried to stop laughing, but just ended up hiccuping,
which was almost worse somehow.
“I’m tired. We have to go,” Micah called after Officer Rogers, but he
just shook his head and moved on to another group of people.
Frowning, I spotted Micah’s Kia, and we walked over to it. I opened the
back door and patted the seat. “Come lie down,” I said.
 Micah furrowed his brow and crawled into the car on his hands and
knees, almost like he’d forgotten how to get into a vehicle because he was
so messed up, and I sat down. He blinked when he hit the other door and
was on his knees. I laughed while he rearranged himself and smiled down at
him when he rested his head on my lap. I nudged him closer and hummed
when his warm breath puffed through my shirt, but then he hid his face
against me, pressing harder into my abs, and I stifled a groan. I dug my
fingers into his curls and prepared to be tortured for however long it took
the cops to let us go.
Brisco glanced around nervously and shook his head.
“What’s wrong?” Milo asked, the question slurred.
“I can’t stay here.” Brisco stared at the police cars.
“Why?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I just can’t. I have to get out of here.” He turned
and started walking away.
“No.” I groaned. “Brisco, you stupid fuck! Get back here.”
He shook his head and kept going, but we were pretty far away from his
house, so unless he planned to walk a few miles drunk, he was going to be
in for a hell of a night. I wasn’t about to move to chase after him, though, so
with a shrug, I checked on Milo. He’d slid down to lean against the rear
tire, and that seemed like a safe place for him. I bounced my attention
between Micah and Milo, adrenaline keeping me going even though it was
well past the time I usually went to bed.
A cop startled me when he came to stand near us. He was a blond with a
friendly smile. “What happened, mate?” he asked, and I was surprised by
his light British accent.
“No clue. ’M drunk,” Milo said.
I rolled my eyes.
The cop pointed at him, but he was smiling. “Public intoxication is a
crime. You’re lucky I’m busy.” He held up a tablet. “I do need all your
names and addresses, however.” He sounded apologetic about that, which
was the only reason I gave in and told him without raising hell about how
long we’d been kept waiting. I dug my fingers in against Micah’s scalp, and
he sat up with a worried frown, as if maybe he’d been awake for a while but
hadn’t wanted to talk to the police officer.
“You see anything?” the cop asked him.
“No,” Micah murmured.
 “It was a red Mustang. I’m pretty sure there was a woman driving. Can
we go?” I asked, not bothering to keep my irritation to myself anymore.
“It’s late.”
“I’m sorry someone getting injured has inconvenienced you,” the cop
said, giving me a long look like I was a horrible person, and I actually felt
guilty as I shrugged.
“You saw the type of car it was?” Micah asked, gaze darting around my
face.
I nodded, not wanting to get into the fact that I’d been curious who was
shooting beyond just wanting to protect us. I needed to know I hadn’t
walked into anything here that would get me into trouble with my dad.
“You’re certain you didn’t notice anything at all?” the cop asked, staring
directly at Micah, who blushed and shook his head.
Anger burned in my chest as the cop repeated his question once more,
almost like he thought maybe Micah was lying. The cop sighed and typed
something else into his tablet.
“You can go. Drive safely,” he said, staring at Micah, and again I was
irked. I didn’t like that people immediately looked at him as if he should be
keeping everyone safe, and I knew it made sense because he was older than
the rest of us, but it also burned my ass.
Micah sighed and leaned his forehead against my shoulder. “I was so
scared.”
“You did the right thing,” I said.
“Which was?” he asked, tone slightly sarcastic.
I grinned until he glanced up. “Listen to me.”
He frowned but nodded.
It didn’t take me long to get him into the front passenger seat and Milo
in back, and everyone in the car was quiet. As I drove, I kept an eye out for
Brisco, but I didn’t see him. I was a little worried as I dropped Milo off at
our house, but he stumbled up the front steps and Kinsey was sitting on the
porch smoking, so I figured he would make sure Milo at least passed out
inside, even if he didn’t make it to his bed.
Back at Micah’s house, I pulled the Kia to a stop beside my Boxter, then
got out and went around to help Micah because he seemed groggy. I liked
that he cuddled up against my side and let me lead him to the house. He
didn’t even try to take the keys away from me at the door, just allowed me
to let us inside. He shivered, almost as if he was still scared, while I closed
the door behind us.
“Why weren’t you frightened?” he asked, staring into my eyes. The
question surprised me.
“I was,” I whispered.
He frowned and stared at my face. “Were you? You didn’t seem like it.”
I wasn’t necessarily shocked he’d noticed that I wasn’t as shaken as
he’d been, but I also wasn’t sure what I should say to him. He glanced
downward at my tattoos, tracing a finger around the word Burn on my neck.
“The city I grew up in is big and shootings are common enough. I was
afraid we would all get hurt, but then we didn’t. You were okay.” I
shrugged. What else could I say?
“You’re used to this?” He frowned.
For a second, I stared around, then smiled when my gaze landed on his
face again. “My father employs a security firm because he has a job that
attracts unwanted attention. I’ve seen people being shot at in the past. Part
of the reason I’m going to school in New Gothenburg is because he knows
people here and thinks the situation locally is pretty safe.” There. That
should be enough info to put this to rest without really telling him anything
at all.
“Oh.” Micah’s eyebrows shot higher. “What does he do for a—”
“It’s late.” I blasted him with a wide smile, the kind that usually had
people doing what I wanted; although, he only tilted his head. I rubbed my
hands along his arms, and he relaxed against me. “Want to snuggle up
together and sleep for whatever is left of tonight?” I had no idea what time
it was and didn’t even want to check because I knew I wouldn’t like how
much sleep I would be getting.
He bit his lip but nodded after a few seconds. “Okay, but I don’t like
being confined.”
An amused snort snuck out of me. “What does that mean? I don’t have
anything to tie you down with.”
He blinked at me, and I had to say I loved the pink that lit up his cheeks.
“Can I be the big spoon? I don’t like to be trapped.” He gave himself a hug,
and I thought he meant he didn’t like to be the one being held, he liked to
do the holding.
Chuckling, I nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine with that.”
 We went into the bedroom, and after a quick pit stop in his bathroom to
clean up his elbows, we stripped without any sort of sexy anything going on
until we were both in our underwear. He was half asleep already as he
shoved at the blanket on his bed, and I pulled it back so he could flop in. I
climbed in after him and tugged the blanket up, then leaned over him to turn
off the lamp. He shuddered when he wrapped his arms around me.
“You don’t have to be scared with me here,” I said softly into the
darkness.
He let out a long hum and snuggled closer. “I like that I don’t have to
pretend I’m brave right now,” he said, the words blunt. I kissed his cheek,
then groaned as the alarm on my phone went off. It was time to get up for
our early morning practice.
“Well, fuck,” I grumbled. It would be a long, hellish day.

OceanofPDF.com
 10

OceanofPDF.com
 MICAH

T he day after the shooting at V oid dragged on too long . I got to

sleep a few hours, but Yukio had to go to practice. Even though I was tired,
I couldn’t stay in bed the entire day, so I got up and did some paperwork at
the table, then rushed to campus to teach a class. Afterward, when I
normally would’ve worked in my office or the library, I came home instead
and graded some essays. I got so lost in my routine that when there was a
knock on the door, it took me a moment to realize it was early evening
already.
I rose and opened the front door, and my heart fluttered when Yukio’s
handsome face came into view. He grinned at me, and I flushed, stepping
aside without a word. It was strange to invite someone into my house so
easily, but he was nice and the first guy to ever pay attention to me. I
enjoyed his company.
“Practice this morning was hell.” He stopped in the middle of the living
room, tilting his head from side to side as though stretching out a kink. “I
thought Coach was going to kill me with the drills he had us running. We
were so slow he made us come back this afternoon.”
“Do you want a massage?” I asked before I could stop to think about it.
His eyes lit up.
I glanced away from him nervously.
“I’m sweaty. Let me shower first. Is that cool?”
I nodded. “I can get you something to put on if you don’t have any
clothes?”
 “I’d like that.” He winked, and I flushed, inwardly cursing myself at the
reactions he dragged out of me. I didn’t remember a time when someone
had me so frazzled by simply existing. Uncomfortable, yes, but not on edge
because I was so attracted to them.
I hurried into my room to pick out a pair of pajama pants and a simple
T-shirt. It took me too long to decide which ones, though, and by the time I
gathered the clothing, I turned to find him standing at the doorway of my
bedroom with a towel tied around his waist. I hadn’t even heard the shower
turn on and off. Sometimes time escaped me. Who was I kidding? It was
more than sometimes.
He smiled, and I awkwardly held up the pants and shirt I’d found.
“These will fit if you roll the hem. They’re purple and match your hair.”
I laughed at the absurdity, but his smile grew wider as he approached me.
My gaze slid to his chest, and I reached out before I thought better of it.
The ink across his skin was mostly all black, except three words designed in
red. C’est was tattooed on his right collarbone, La on his neck, and Vie on
his left collarbone, and I knew that it was French for that’s life. The saying
fit what I’d seen of Yukio. He was unshakable.
He had other writing tattooed on his body, too. Burn was higher on his
neck and Hell in the middle of his chest. Teeth lined his collarbone just
below his purple-and-black beaded necklace, and he had barbed wire on
either side of the word Hell. My fingers explored the artwork, tracing the
simple line art of a dragon on his right pec.
He shivered, and I froze, but he whispered, “Keep going.”
So, I did. I traced the tips of my fingers over to the other pec where he
had a more detailed tattoo of a cobra, with its mouth open and tongue
spiraling out like something from a nightmare, and as frightened as I would
usually be about that type of thing—snakes are scary!—somehow, it also
matched his personality, though I wasn’t entirely sure how I knew that. It
was a feeling in the pit of my stomach.
A burning heart was inked on his lower sternum, right below his pecs,
and I followed the shape, using my nail to scrape over his skin. He hissed,
and pleasure simmered in my groin. I’d gotten that reaction from him—me.
“You have so many tattoos,” I whispered, scared to speak any louder.
He chuckled. “I like them. My body’s a canvas. It was designed for
artwork. If I don’t choose what story I want to tell, life will put scars on me,
and I’d rather be in control of my destiny.”
 I blinked carefully at him, rolling the words around in my head. “Do the
tattoos have meaning?”
He nodded and wrapped his long, slim fingers around my wrist. He
dragged my hand up until I was touching the snake. “This is a hebi. That’s
Japanese for snake. He protects me from bad luck.”
“Hebi,” I murmured.
Then he dragged my hand to the dragon, and I scraped my fingers over
his flesh as he did. “Dragons do a lot of different things in my culture. They
protect our family and our home. They guard us. I take mine with me.”
I curled my fingers and grasped his pec before I yanked my hand back
and stumbled away from him. Heat assaulted my cheeks and I laughed
nervously. “Here.” I shoved the pajamas at him and turned my back,
rubbing the nape of my neck. I didn’t know why it mattered; I’d sucked his
cock, so I knew what he looked like, yet I couldn’t bring myself to glance at
him.
“I’m dressed.” The amusement in his tone had me blushing harder when
I turned to look at him. As he’d said, he was dressed, and he grinned
adorably at me. I studied his face, taking in the small beauty mark on his
right cheek and the ring in his left nostril. I’d never thought I would be
interested in someone with a pierced face, yet I liked him—a lot. “How
about I get into bed? I’m exhausted. You get ready and come to bed. You
did promise to be the big spoon, and I need a hug.”
I groaned in embarrassment, and he laughed, smacking me gently on the
ass as he walked past me and got into my bed. I grabbed my pajamas out of
my dresser and didn’t bother to go anywhere to change. His stare burned a
hole in my back, but I didn’t let that phase me. Getting dressed in front of a
man who’d both given and taken a blowjob from me was something I
needed to do. I couldn’t shy away from everything that made me anxious,
even if I wanted to.
Once I was dressed, I gained confidence and turned to look at him, and
he waggled his eyebrows at me. I ran a palm over my face and shook my
head when he whistled.
“Sexy.” He crooked his finger. “Come here, I need my big spoon.”
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and moved with as much speed
as my body would allow. Shifting the blanket back, I snuck underneath and
let him snuggle against my chest. I sighed, wrapping my arm around him as
sleep began to creep up on me already. This was nice. I could get used to
falling asleep with Yukio in my arms.

It’d been two weeks since Yukio and I had started dating, and I was
enjoying every second. He didn’t ask for sex, but we’d given each other a
few blowjobs. The entire thing was very easygoing, and in addition to him
being a man, our relationship was very different from the one I’d had with
my ex, Candy, which had been rushed and a horrible mess. Even at the
beginning of that relationship I’d had a constant sense that it was doomed.
Yukio didn’t push me, though, and he spent most nights with me when he
wasn’t at practice—which was either for his band or basketball, apparently.
I’d been meaning to ask him if he knew Alex, but I’d already forgotten
what my son played. Wasn’t it baseball? I knew it wasn’t football.
I was terrible with the sports stuff, even though I loved my son.
Either way, Yukio spent more nights with me than not. While I graded
papers or planned my next lesson, he studied and played on his phone. He
didn’t breathe too loudly or make sounds that annoyed me, and it was all
very domestic.
“The band’s playing again tomorrow night.” He glanced up from his
phone and grinned at me. He was lying on the couch in his boxers, chest
naked for my gaze to devour. The black ink was stark against his skin.
Words and artwork weaved across his sinewy muscles like they were maps
designed to tempt me to the treasure. I’d explored them, and I’d discovered
with interest that he had none on his back.
I blinked at him and set down my electronic pen on the island. I’d been
writing on my Supernote, a digital notebook that didn’t have the lighting a
normal tablet did, which hurt my eyes. The experience was nice because I
was writing my notes somewhere they wouldn’t get lost. “At the same club
I went to last time?”
“Yeah. Mousetrap.” He rested his arm along the back of the couch and
stretched out more. His cock plumped in his bright green boxers, and I
couldn’t tear my attention away from how it hardened under my stare.
“Would you like to come and watch us again?”
 Every cell in my body wanted to say no, but I’d grown accustomed to
his presence over the last few weeks, and I enjoyed his company. He’d gone
out of his way to be here with me and do things I enjoyed—watching
movies and reading books. It was only fair that I be there for things he liked
in return.
“Yes, I will.”
Yukio laid a hand on his naked thigh and slowly dragged it up until his
fingers brushed the hardness in his underwear. My blood pressure spiked
and a sharp thrill shot through me, settling low in my abdomen. My cock
twitched and I licked my lips, staring as he traced the waistband with the tip
of his forefinger.
“Want to come over here and suck my dick, honey?”
“Honey?” I chuckled. “That’s a bit of an old-fashioned name for your
boyfriend, isn’t it?”
He grinned. “I like it because honey sounds close to hanii in Japanese,
and it makes me feel good to call you something that’s similar in both
languages.”
He’d been calling me that pet name for the last week, and I hadn’t asked
him about it. Until now. “You like thinking of me that way?”
His grin widened. “Yeah. It pretty much means what it sounds like.
Honey.”
I tilted my head. “Can you speak Japanese? I haven’t ever heard you do
it.”
“Yeah.” He sat up slightly and kept toying with the waistband of his
boxers, teasing. “I learned two languages growing up because my dad was
still trying to understand English at the time. And my grandparents don’t
speak English, for the most part. They say they’re too old to learn now.” He
laughed. “But they’re stubborn, like Oyaji.”
“Oyaji? Is that your father?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “But father in Japanese is otousan. When I talk to
Dad, I call him Oyaji and Otousan. Like English, it depends on the context
and who you’re talking to. Children call their father otousan or sometimes
papa, but as we get older, it turns into chichi, at least, when I’m talking
about him to other people. A bit like going from daddy to father in English.
I mean, sometimes I call him Dad, too. I guess it starts to sound
complicated when I explain it to someone who doesn’t know anything
about Japanese, but it isn’t.”
 I nodded eagerly. I’d been curious about everything to do with him, and
while I’d asked some small questions here and there, I hadn’t delved too
deeply. I hadn’t thought we were at the point of talking about our past or
families yet. He hadn’t asked about Alex, and I hadn’t given him any
information, either.
He shuffled back farther on the couch and gestured to the space in front
of him. “Come here. Now.”
The authoritative tone in his voice sent a shiver down my spine. I stood,
my knees wobbling in excitement as I slowly made my way over to him. He
spread his legs, and I let out a long, shaky breath as I sat between them,
eyeing the bulge in his boxers. His cock was amazing, and I’d taken the
time to explore it since the first time I’d given him a blowjob, and I couldn’t
get enough of the heaviness on my tongue or the bitter flavor of his precum
teasing my taste buds.
He rubbed himself before finally reaching inside the waistband and
dragging the thick flesh out. He was so hard that his foreskin was tucked
under the pink, flushed head. Precum was already building in the slit. “Put
it in your mouth, Hanii. Show me how much you want to eat my cum.”
The shudder that trembled down my spine was more violent this time,
an exploding- fireworks desire. Need flooded my insides, making me
squirm. My cock throbbed, hard and trapped in my own pants, and as much
as I wanted to pull myself out, I was scared that I would come immediately
if I did.
He shook his hard-on at me.
A moan slipped out from between my lips, and I hadn’t even gotten it in
my mouth yet. Flushing in embarrassment, I leaned down and ran the tip of
my nose along his length, caressing his sensitive skin. When I got to the
base, I darted my tongue out for a lick, and he swore. Smiling, confidence
drove me to take the head between my lips, sucking him gently at first
before I let more slide in until my gag reflex kicked in.
“Fuck yeah, baby. Take me. Eat me. Show me how much you want my
dick in your sweet little mouth.”
I moaned and gagged when he hit the base of my throat, but he pulled
back, giving me time to breathe, before he shoved in again. The attack on
my mouth was more dominant than any of the other times we’d done this,
and even though it hurt, I relaxed and closed my eyes, letting him fuck my
throat as much as he wanted.
 He took advantage of my stillness, clasping the sides of my head and
using me as his own personal sex toy. Pleasure simmered inside me, and I
clenched my fingers on my thighs as sensations I’d never experienced
assaulted every sense in my body. The way he dominated me and used me
for his own desire was the sexiest thing.
“Fuck yeah, you’re a little whore. Aren’t you? Taking my dick, wanting
to eat my cum for dinner. You want it, don’t you?” His tone turned harsh
and breathy, and I whimpered.
I didn’t have the chance to taste him with how violently he was
thrusting into my throat, and my gagging must’ve turned him on more
because every time I made a choking sound, he groaned. My cock throbbed,
pressure building in my balls. Every part of me wanted this, but I also
craved something else. What would it be like to have him in my ass? Would
he thrust the same way?
I groaned and tugged my head back. He didn’t stop me, even though
disappointment flashed across his face. He was probably close to coming.
Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I offered him a shy smile.
My throat ached and it hurt to swallow, but my cock took the pain and ran
with it, firming up harder, if that was possible. “I think. . . . I think we
should have sex.”
He froze, eyes widening. The silver rings in his eyebrows glittered
under the soft lights of the living room and the curve of his lips became
more prominent when he smiled. The word Burn on his neck caught my eye
when he tilted his chin back and flashed me his white teeth. “Yeah? You
sure?”
No. Terror mixed in with the pleasure and anxiety that twisted in my
chest. I wasn’t a virgin, at least, in terms of straight sex, but I was the one
giving then, and I wanted to take Yukio’s cock tonight—and a lot of other
nights, too. Sure, I’d used toys, but this was different. There was a person
attached to this hard-on, and his would be warm, unlike the silicone dildos
I’d used in the past. He would feel what it was like to be in me.
“I think so.” I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck, heat
spreading across my cheeks. The rawness of my throat reminded me of
what I was excited about every time I swallowed. “Actually, yes. I am sure.
I want this.”
He sat up and threw a leg off the couch. After he’d maneuvered himself
to stand, he reached for me, sliding his hand into mine. I let him help me to
my feet before he slowly and carefully led me to the bedroom as though I
was about to flee.
When he got me into the bedroom and closed the door, he pounced. He
swung me around and shoved me against the wall, and I gasped when he
wrapped a hand around my neck, fingers not digging in deeply enough to
hurt, but hard enough to keep me pliant under his touch. His rings were
smooth and unusual against my skin, and they were a sharp shock to my
system. He slammed his mouth against mine, and I moaned, grabbing his
shoulders to get leverage as he devoured me as though he was sucking my
soul out of my body. He ate my lips, hungry, and the tip of his cock slapped
against my lower abs, my T-shirt blocking any contact between us.
He broke the kiss to nibble on my bottom lip. “You’ve got one more
chance. You can back out, but after this, I’m going to take you over there
—” He pointed at the queen-sized bed in the center of my room, draped in
light blue blankets, which happened to be my favorite color. “—and fuck
you until you come screaming my name.”
I shuddered. Excitement shot straight to my balls, making them heavier.
I hesitated, and concern twisted his lips, but I quickly shook my head,
which only made it worse because he went to step away from me. I grabbed
his wrist, keeping his hand on my neck, and sighed. “I’m a virgin. Well.” I
laughed abruptly at the ridiculousness of it. “A gay virgin. I’ve had straight
sex. With a woman. That’s what straight sex means. Gods, I’m making a
fool of myself.”
“You aren’t.” He shushed me by placing a finger over my lips. “I’ll be
careful with you.”
I shook my head again. “I don’t want you to.” I gripped his fingers
tighter at my neck. “I need you to fuck me like you mean it. Fuck me and
hold me down and just. . . own me.”
Did I sound too desperate? I winced when his hand slid up my neck and
gripped my jaw. His hold was tight and hurt, as if he was punishing me for
being embarrassed to ask for what I need, and his brown eyes were intense
with a desire that had me gasping.
“This is what I’m going to do for you, Hanii. I’ll do all of that, and then,
when I’m done fucking the cum out of you, I’m going to let you spoon me
for the night. Tomorrow night after the band plays, I’m going to take you on
a date. Anywhere you want to go. You and me.”
 I sighed in pleasure when he laid a kiss on my cheek, then another on
my mouth. “But I like what we do now. Watching movies and staying at
home. Does that make me boring?”
He chuckled and smoothed his thumb along my cheekbone. “No, but
that doesn’t mean we can’t go out every once in a while, does it? There’s
gotta be something you like doing.”
I frowned, but before I could stop to think about it more, he slanted his
mouth over mine and stole a hard kiss. I melted against him, groaning, and
his hand slid back to my neck, grabbing hold again. He pressed against me,
and his bare cock got trapped between our bodies. The friction must have
felt wonderful because he moaned and rolled his hips.
He broke the kiss and grasped my neck tighter, using the grip to turn me
again and shove me toward the bed. I didn’t get to the mattress before he
stopped me by grabbing my shirt and tugging it viciously over my head. He
manipulated my limbs the way he wanted, and I let him, my control firmly
in his palms. He was in charge, and I was his to do what he wanted with. He
went for my pants next, and there was no finesse in the way he grappled
with the button and zipper, but when he finally had them undone, he shoved
the pants down. I stepped out of my clothing, nerves causing my toes to curl
and my stomach to clench.
He ran his hands over my hips, then grabbed a handful of my hard cock
in my pink briefs, and I moaned, rocking forward.
“Bed. Now.” The order came out as more of a growl than actual words,
but I understood.
I stepped toward the mattress and fell onto it backward. He didn’t wait
for me to get comfortable before he was on top of me, kissing down my
throat and across my chest like he wanted to get his lips on every inch of
my skin. He licked my right nipple, then sucked the nub between his teeth
and tugged on it.
My cock jerked, and I whimpered, thrusting up to get some friction
from him. “Please.”
He hummed and flicked his tongue against my nipple until it was red
and swollen, then moved on to the other one to do the same. I couldn’t get
enough of his touch, and I wanted more. Craved it.
“Please. Please, Yukio. Don’t tease me. I just want you inside me.”
He laid more kisses across my chest and down between my nipples, and
I groaned in frustration, wriggling under his weight.
 “Please. Don’t make me wait.”
“Shhh.” He worked his mouth up my throat again and under my chin,
then across my cheeks and finally to my lips. He cupped my face and kissed
me hard until I shuddered with the need to release. “I’m in charge, Hanii.
Not you.”
I pouted, but the bastard grinned. He tickled his fingers over my thighs
to the waistband of my briefs, and then he tugged them gently, urging me to
lift my hips. I complied, letting him yank off my underwear, then throw
them over his shoulder. My cock bounced and slapped against my belly, and
it left a wet patch behind on my treasure trail.
He slid the tip of his finger down my length, nail scraping gently on my
sensitive skin. I trembled, pleasure building up at the base of my spine. I
was so close to coming that I was scared I would ruin it before he got inside
me.
“You’re a dirty man, aren’t you?” he teased, brushing his thumb over
my slit.
I hissed and thrust my hips. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
He laughed. “You don’t know?”
“What do you want me to say?” I whispered desperately. “I’ll say
anything.”
“Tell me the truth,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. “How
much have you thought about me fucking you?”
“Since we met.” I hooked my leg around his and dragged him closer.
“Please fuck me. Please.”
“I like it when you swear.” Another kiss, but this one was against the
corner of my mouth. “You really are such a dirty man. Wait here.”
I damned near whimpered when he pushed himself up and off me,
leaving the room completely. I shuffled farther on the bed and wrapped my
hand around my cock, tugging it lightly. The head was flushed red and
precum was already leaking down my shaft. My balls pulled close to my
body, on the brink of exploding.
When he finally returned, he’d gotten rid of his underwear somewhere
along the way and he had condoms and lube in his hand. Seeing the items
made reality set in, and I sucked in a deep, excited breath.
Yukio slotted the condom packet between his teeth and pulled at it,
tearing the top. He spat out the piece of silver plastic in his mouth and
yanked out the latex. Watching him slide on the condom and slick it up with
lube was hypnotizing, and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sexy sight
he made. Everything about him was addicting, from the tattoos that
accentuated his slim chest and arms, to the piercings that impaled his
eyebrows, ears, and nose.
He grinned at me as he strode back toward the bed. When he reached
me, he threw the spare condoms on the nightstand before taking his sweet
time to slide the rings off his fingers. He watched me, eyes hungry. In a
simple look, he promised to consume me and take me in ways I couldn’t
imagine.
Once he was done, he finally got onto the mattress, lube still clutched in
his hand. “Lie on your back and spread your legs for me, Hanii. Show me
that pretty hole of yours.”
I shivered but did as he ordered, bending my knees and opening myself
to him.
His tongue glided across his already wet pink lips and the hunger in his
eyes deepened. “That’s it. Fuck, look at that hole. I’m going to be the first
guy to get my dick in there.” He kissed my knee. “I like that.”
I bit down on my lip, afraid to utter a word in case I said something to
mess this up. I was thirty-eight, damn it. I shouldn’t be so nervous about
sex. The ancient Greeks had sex to build relationships between soldiers who
weren’t getting along. I could do this with a man I actually liked.
He flicked open the red minibottle of lube and the scent of candy teased
my nose. I breathed in the aroma. After adding more of the liquid onto his
fingers, he closed the lid and threw the bottle on the bed. I watched, holding
my breath in anticipation, as he reached down between my legs. The scent
of cherries danced in the air.
“Ready?” he growled out.
I nodded, unable to speak. I’d had my own fingers inside my hole, but
having someone else’s spread me open was different. His digits were
shorter, but I thought maybe they were thicker, too. He started with one,
pushing gently inside. He was careful, taking my hand and laying a kiss on
it.
The feeling of another man inside me, even if it was only his finger, was
strange and new. Sparks of excitement and anticipation flickered in my
stomach, and I wriggled, sending him a nervous smile. His eyes glittered
and he laid another kiss on my knuckles as if to comfort me.
 When he added a second digit, he stretched me by scissoring his fingers,
and it was no different than when I did it, except they belonged to him and
not me. The way he stared at me melted my insides, and I thought I was
going to die. I’d never had someone look at me the way he did, not even
Candy when we first started dating.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
All I could do was nod, my insides heating.
By the time he put the third finger in, my muscles were relaxed, but the
rest of me was on fire, and I was so ready for his cock. As if he understood,
he finally removed his digits and lined up his hard-on with my hole, fingers
gripping tightly at my hips.
I held my breath, but he patted my abs.
“Exhale,” he ordered, and I did so immediately. The urge to follow
every command overwhelmed me. When he finally thrust inside my ass, it
was too slow, though also the right speed. He spread my hole, and I gasped,
unsure why I was shocked at his thickness forcing me apart.
He held me down as he slid in until he was balls deep. The sensations
were all new and completely different from a dildo. He was real and his
weight on top of me wasn’t fictional. There was a gorgeous man inside me,
above me, and all my dreams since coming to terms with the fact that I was
gay had come true.
Yukio was exactly who I needed.
“Hold on.” He winked and sat back on his knees. Hooking my legs on
his shoulders, he gripped my thighs tightly and began to thrust. The first
deep shove inside ignited another fiery feeling within my balls, and the
second doubled the sensation.
He leaned down to smash his mouth against mine, and we kissed
passionately, our tongues warring. His thrusts began slow, but then
increased, and when he hit my prostate, the world detonated in fireworks
behind my closed eyes. My chest squeezed and I gasped, rolling my hips
back to meet every lunge forward.
If I died right now, I would go to the Elysian Plain, somewhere perfect
and happy and everlasting. Everything felt overwhelming and fresh and not
anything like I was used to. Yukio was amazing.
I grabbed my cock and stroked it in time with his thrusts. Throwing my
head back, I whimpered and moaned and made other sounds I didn’t dare to
examine. I’d never felt so great in my life. At some point, I thought he was
kissing my throat again, but I wasn’t sure because I was caught up in the
sensations of him inside me, striking my prostate so precisely that I
wondered if there was an arrow pointing to it.
A few more strokes of his cock in my ass was all it took. I stiffened and
moaned, my orgasm ripping through me. My cock jerked and cum painted
our abs with the proof of how much I enjoyed every second of this.
“Fuck, Micah. Fuck. Yes. You’re so tight.” He threw his head back, the
ink on his neck stretching with his chin raised, and he faltered while
bucking roughly against me. He trembled and cursed some more, and for a
silly moment, I wished I could feel the heat of his load deep inside me. But
I didn’t know him well enough yet.
He collapsed on top of me, and I wrapped my arms around him, kissing
his damp forehead. The scent of cherries and musk filled my nose, and I
inhaled the sweetly masculine aroma. I didn’t know how long he laid there
before I began to wriggle in discomfort. I hated that I wanted him to move,
but the overwhelming sense of claustrophobia had begun to creep in on me.
Almost immediately, he startled and rose, and his cock slipping from
my hole caused us both to hiss. He laid a sweet kiss on my mouth. “Are you
okay?”
I nodded, flushing. “Just. . . uncomfortable.”
He ripped the condom off and tied the end before throwing it in the
garbage can beside the nightstand. “Sorry, Hanii. Come on, let’s shower.”
I smiled and let him help me slide out of the bed.
“Did you enjoy it?” he teased.
The heat in my cheeks turned scorching. “Can we do it again in the
shower?”
His loud laughter had me grinning. He grabbed the condoms from the
nightstand and tapped the tip of my nose with them. “Definitely.”

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 11

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

C oach ’ s whistle nearly split my eardrums , and I swiped the sweat

from my forehead with the back of my hand. The noise echoed around the
court.
“These are shuttle runs, not lazily meandering from place to place!” He
glared at everyone, and I groaned. He wasn’t wrong. I was slow today,
probably because I’d done Micah about ten times between yesterday and
fifteen minutes before I left for practice this morning. He was so amazing,
and I loved the way he stared at me like I was the entire world as I slid into
his body. His ass was made for my dick, and he held me like he never
wanted to let go.
He was just so honest about what he wanted. There was no pretending
to be cool or bullshitting that he wasn’t sure he would want to do it again.
He was the change I hadn’t realized I’d been searching for, and I fucking
loved every second of being with him. We probably shouldn’t mesh the way
we did, but he ticked all my boxes, and I hoped he felt the same way about
me. I grinned, but then Coach stomped over to stand directly in front of me.
“Yukio. You are slow as fuck today. Move your ass!”
“Yes, sir!” I saluted and ran toward the sideline behind the basket as he
blew the whistle, and everyone else started doing shuttle runs again. We’d
been doing this twice as long as usual, and he knew everyone hated it, so he
must be pissed off. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, though. This
morning, when I’d been inside Micah, I’d finally moved my hips just right
and figured out where I needed to nail his prostate to turn him into a
screaming mess. Fuck, I was going to do it as often as possible.
 Turning to run back toward the centerline, I glanced up and groaned
because it was too late to do anything. I bumped into Alexander, coming the
opposite direction, because he was staring at his feet, and we both fell on
our asses. The pain of landing on my butt was nothing compared to the tidal
wave of irritation that smacked me.
I’d been avoiding Alexander for the last two weeks. I let out a long
breath while he glared at me from his spot on the floor nearby. I liked
Micah, and I’d been trying to get away from this, even though I’d started
seeing him specifically to fuck with Alexander. I wasn’t so stupid that I
didn’t realize I had to be done with all this fighting, or I was going to
royally fuck things up with Micah.
I wanted Micah more than I wanted my revenge.
But I still had to deal with this crap. I took a deep breath. “Sorry,” I said
and hopped to my feet. “I hope you’re okay.” The words were acid on my
tongue. I fucking hated playing nice, but this was going to have to be the
way things were or I would lose someone I was starting to care a lot about.
I could suck it up and deal.
Alexander climbed to his feet and scowled at me. “What?”
“I said. . . .”
Milo came to a stop near me and stared with wide eyes.
Coach caught sight of us standing around and toyed with his whistle.
I waved at Coach, then turned toward Alexander. “I said I’m sorry.”
Alexander stepped toward me and shoved me, and I gritted my teeth but
didn’t do anything back.
“Hey!” Milo rushed toward us, but I held up a hand.
“Are you fucking with me?” Alexander asked, face twisted in
confusion.
Cringing, I sighed. “Well, if I was, you probably wouldn’t know. You
are pretty slow.” I wanted to slap myself. I just couldn’t fucking quit. I
turned away from him so I wouldn’t keep going, and I wasn’t shocked when
I was shoved again from behind. Milo pushed Alexander, and I turned
around, ready to get into it if the fucker wouldn’t back off, but Coach’s
whistle blasted, and everyone stopped what they were doing.
“Out! Carrington. Hinode. Parilla. Get off my fucking court until you
can act like teammates!”
There was dead silence as we made it to the bleachers. I grabbed my
bag and was happy I’d changed before I got here because I wouldn’t have to
go to the locker room.
“I’m telling your dad about this,” Coach shouted.
“Why?” Alexander yelled back, then swung around to scowl at Coach,
which was a bad move.
Coach growled and jabbed his whistle in Alexander’s direction.
“Because you’ve clearly got some bullshit idea that just because your father
teaches here you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can’t. You’re on
this team because you have skills, but you won’t be staying because of who
you know. Either get it together or someone else will be playing your spot.”
Coach pointed at me and Milo, too, but I had a feeling maybe Alexander’s
nepo baby status especially pissed Coach off.
Grabbing Milo’s shoulder, I dragged him toward the exit that would
spill directly outside rather than going through the rest of the building, and
we escaped into the morning sunshine and crisp fall air, leaving Alexander
red-faced and blinking as basketball practice resumed.
Someone burst out of the doors behind us, and I sighed.
“Hey!”
“Back off, man,” Milo said, spinning around.
I wanted to bash my head off the nearest hard surface rather than deal
with this, but I turned around as Alexander made it to us in a few strides.
“What’s your problem lately?” Alexander demanded, and he almost
looked ready to cry. I guess I couldn’t blame him. I would be irritated if my
parents were getting dragged into this mess.
“I’ve been ignoring you,” I said, frustrated.
“Exactly,” he hissed, shaking his head. “What are you planning?”
“Believe it or not, you don’t factor into my life plans,” I said, though I
was uneasy at the lie, and maybe he could tell because he popped his tongue
against his cheek and tilted his head like he was trying to work out my
angle. “Don’t worry about me.”
But I was worried. Clearly it didn’t matter if I left Alexander alone or
not. Fucking hell.
“Why the change?” he asked, and he sounded a little more human as he
stared at me. My belly flipped because without him being a jackass, I could
see some of the things I liked about Micah in him. Nicely shaped lips. Long
legs. Eyes that seemed to show a million emotions. I shook my head and
swallowed, grabbing Milo’s arm and walking away.
 Milo did his job as my best friend, scowling and making faces at
Alexander as we hustled away from him along the sidewalk. My phone
vibrated in my pocket and I tugged it free of my pants.
Micah: Am I still coming to see your band tonight? What time?

Smiling, I answered.
Yukio: Yeah. Can you meet me at Mousetrap around 9:00? I’ll have
a bunch of crap in my car.

Micah: Sure! I can’t wait to see you onstage. You look good.

Micah: I mean, you sound good.

Chuckling, I tucked my phone in my pocket.

“Was that your honey?” Milo asked, and the wording shocked me so
much I stumbled, but he grabbed my arm.
“Uh, yeah. I call him my hanii, actually.” I winked at Milo. “He’s so
adorable I can’t help it,” I said, switching to Japanese simply to amuse
myself and watch the confusion pass across Milo’s face.
“You really like him, huh?”
Smiling, I shrugged. “Yeah. I’m not talking about it with you, though. It
is what it is, and I don’t need to hash it out like we’re sixteen.”
He snorted. “Should we find food, then?”
“Mm-hmm.”
He punched me on the arm, smiling. “He’s your honey. That’s cute.”
“Shut up, you asshole,” I grumbled, but I felt warm all over and my
chest was light. I liked having Micah to talk about. But what the fuck was I
going to do about Alexander now? Groaning, I ran a hand over my face.
“So, listen. I did something stupid, and I could use your help finding a
way out of it.”
Milo perked up instantly and leaned toward me. “Yes?”
“You cannot fucking tell a soul. I don’t want to get him into trouble.”
Milo frowned, but his mouth fell open as I leaned toward him and began
to whisper the situation. I had a feeling he wouldn’t have any idea how to
help me, but at least I wouldn’t be alone with this in my own head. When I
was done explaining, I stepped back.
 Milo had stopped, forcing me to do the same thing. He stood, hand on
his heart, shaking his head at me.
“And you acted like Gracie May was a big deal. And you do things like
this? What were you thinking? How could anyone fix this?”
“That’s the sixty-year-old neighbor’s name?” I asked with a chuckle, but
fear unlike anything I’d ever felt in the past curled in my belly. There was a
way through this bullshit. There had to be.
Milo hummed but continued to look at me like he wasn’t sure whether
he should laugh, cry, or both at the same time.
In the end, it turned out I was right. Milo was stumped, but he definitely
wanted to help me work things out, so he promised he would think about
the clusterfuck I’d created. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any texts or phone
calls throughout the day from him claiming inspiration.
I’d asked Micah to meet me at Mousetrap that night, but I’d spent all
day worrying about him and missing him, so I made a pit stop at his house
around about the time I thought he would be getting ready to leave, and
since the door was unlocked, I let myself in. I grinned when he walked out
of his bedroom, adjusting the sleeves on a formfitting gray sweater that
clung to his chest and would look completely out of place at the bar. I didn’t
care, though. This was half of why I liked him. He was himself no matter
where he happened to be.
With a small groan, I stepped in front of him, and I felt bad because he
jumped, but the second I cupped his cheeks he grinned and leaned in for the
kiss I plastered on his lips. I devoured his mouth and pulled him down so I
could fuck my tongue into his perfect heat.
“Are you ready to go?” I leaned back.
“Uh.” He laughed and rubbed his neck. “I think so? Do I look okay?”
“You look good enough to fuck,” I whispered against his mouth, then
locked my lips on his again.
Micah cleared his throat and shuffled back a step, eyes dancing with
excitement that I loved. “Uh, maybe you. . . should?”
Groaning, I grabbed for his belt, and he laughed as he helped me with
the buckle. As soon as his pants were open, I spun him toward the couch
and fumbled in my pocket. Usually I tried to have some finesse when I was
with Micah because he trusted me to take care of him—trusted me so much
I was the only man who had ever been inside him—but I was hard and
wanted him so bad.
 “Are you ready for me?” I asked, nipping the nape of his neck.
He whimpered and nodded, and my dick jerked like it was alive. I dug a
condom out of my pocket and kissed his neck this time. “I was
wondering. . . .”
He glanced back over his shoulder at me.
“Do you think I could go without this? Would you be comfortable? I
test regularly. When we started getting closer, I went. I’m okay.”
He nibbled on his bottom lip and several emotions tugged on his
expression, ending with something far too serious for the moment. “Can I
think about it and let you know when I’m not so hard?” He blew out a long
breath.
I chuckled. “Yeah. Anything you need.”
Part of me wanted to push, but I loved how he smiled at me, and I hated
that all it took to make him happy was for me to simply not be an asshole. I
kissed his shoulder, my lips sliding across the cotton of his sweater, then got
my dick out and slipped on a condom. I yanked the Bubblegum Blast lube
from my pocket and smirked as I coated myself, and then I took a minute to
tease his hole. I loved the way he visibly shivered.
“Do you want it, Hanii?”
“Yes,” he said, desperation heavy in his tone.
“Show me.”
He moaned, and I almost came when he pushed back onto my fingers. I
spread him open, carefully slicking up his hole, and he fucked himself on
my fingers until I was throbbing. When I couldn’t stand to wait anymore, I
slid my fingers free, then used my dick to spread his hole open. The
sensation of pushing into his body got me every time. I held my breath until
I was fully inside him, moaning when I was deep in my favorite place on
earth.
“I’m gonna go fast so I’m not late,” I said.
“Yes.” He nodded, curls bouncing.
“You better fuck yourself on me and do your part.”
He made a small sexy noise that had me grinning, and I unleashed. I
grabbed his hips to hold him still and plowed him like our lives depended
on it. His pants slid down to his knees and he whimpered, hands gripping
the couch. I’d expected him to start jerking off, but he was busy thrusting
back against me.
“Are you getting off on my dick?” I asked, then bit his shoulder.
 “Yes. Please, it’s so good.”
We smashed our bodies together. It was brutal and exactly what I
needed before going onstage. I loved being in front of a crowd, but I was
always keyed up right before it happened, and I shoved all that energy
directly into his delicious body.
“You can think about this when I’m singing. There are always a few
people who try to hit on me after a show. They want this,” I said, jamming
my dick hard into him. He moaned. “But you’re the only one getting it.
You’re the one I want.”
“Yukio,” he said, whimpering my name.
I squeezed the back of his neck and bent him farther forward, and he
went, like it brought him nothing but joy to follow my subtle commands.
His submission was fucking beautiful and reminded me again of why I
needed to find a way to work this shit out with Alexander. I’d never once
thought there would be a day that I wouldn’t want to see Alexander
Carrington’s head spin around and explode when he found out I was
fucking his father. But now I didn’t. I panted and buried my face against
Micah’s back, letting him pull me away from my thoughts.
Micah was all I wanted to focus on.
I would do it. I would fix this so I could keep him. There was no way I
was giving up this beautiful body or the peaceful comfort of knowing I had
someone who made me smile waiting at home.
I buried myself deep in his ass. All the tension and worry wound tight in
my gut, then exploded with the pleasure that ripped through me. I yelled
and emptied my balls into the condom, wishing I was buried in him with
nothing keeping us apart. And maybe soon we could do that.
He was still trying to move on my dick, so I carefully pulled out and
spun him around. He was dazed and looked like he was so strung out he
couldn’t even form words as I sank to my knees in front of him and sucked
his dick into my mouth. It only took me tonguing his cockhead for a few
seconds before I was swallowing his cream. He writhed and whimpered and
made the best noises while I ate every last drop.
As I got to my feet, licking my lips, he gave me a goofy grin. I kissed
him, shoving my tongue deep into his mouth. When I was done, I pulled
back, and he rested his forehead against mine.
“Will this be enough until later?” I asked, trying to catch my breath.
He nodded and laughed. “Yes. I don’t. . . love crowded loud spaces.”
 I nodded. “It’s okay if you don’t want to come with—”
“Wait, I didn’t mean to say that.” He sighed and hugged me, and I held
him tight. “I want to do things to make you happy. I want to be there
tonight. And I want to be there later.”
Nodding, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I understand what you’re
saying.” I brushed my hand over the curls on the side of his head and
winked. “Let’s go.”
Shuffling back, I slid off the condom and tied it, then rushed off to the
bathroom to take care of it. By the time we were both presentable again, I
really was running late, so with a quick kiss on his lips, I bolted to my car.
He hopped into his Kia, following along after me. I would’ve taken him in
my Boxter, but it was piled full of crap I needed at Mousetrap.
Glow looked pissed off when he let me in the side door. His short blue
hair was spiked out everywhere, and he had a new piercing in his nose on
the left side. The blue gem that glittered on his nostril was cute, and I
wanted to tell him that, but he was being so pissy I just let him go.
“We only have five minutes to set up the stage,” he snapped. If he
wasn’t shorter than me, he might be intimidating with the way he scowled.
“Sorry,” I said, giving him a wink. “Help me instead of bellyaching, and
we’ll be done soon.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes. Brisco joined us, and we were able to get
set up and only cut two minutes into our playing time. Before I knew it, I
was singing while staring at Micah off to the right of the stage. Somehow
Milo had found him and had commandeered a spot at his side. They waved
at me in between songs, and I had a good time winking at them and blowing
kisses until I got catcalls from around the room.
Micah buried his face in his hands every time I puckered my lips in his
direction, but he was smiling when he caught my eye again.
At the end of our set the guys and I were moving our equipment off the
stage into the back, and we weren’t in a big hurry because no one else was
going on, when I noticed a tall, familiar man standing next to the stage. My
gut swooped unpleasantly as Alexander waved at me. I nodded at him to let
him know I’d seen him, then held up a finger. He was an asshole, and until
very recently I’d considered him my mortal enemy—hell, maybe I still did
—but he was also a teammate, so I had to acknowledge him. I bit the tip of
my tongue as I walked over to him and hopped off the stage next to him.
“What’s up?” I asked, crossing my arms.
 He dropped his chin to his chest. The bar was noisy, and I wanted to get
to Micah, but I couldn’t exactly rush over to him now.
“How did you find out I was playing here tonight?”
He held up one of our fliers.
I rolled my eyes. “If you’re trying to get me in trouble here, the owner
likes me, so you can’t.”
He shook his head. “I wanted to do this right, which meant not doing it
at practice.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, raising my voice to be heard because
canned music started up over the speakers. There was a cheer from the
people who were on the dance floor.
“This is difficult for me. I didn’t learn how to talk to people very well.
My father is really in his own head, and then he sent me to military school.
All they do is shout at you there.” Alexander rubbed his hands together and
grimaced, and the nervous gesture reminded me far too much of Micah. My
heart twinged.
A weird feeling hit me with the way he was staring at me, all pitiful and
full of remorse. “What does any of that have to do with me?”
“Would you ever consider dating me?”
I blinked at him and felt as if the world was falling away from me for a
few seconds, and then I slammed into the ground and grabbed his arm. He
stared down at where I held on to him, and I dropped him like he was on
fire.
“No.”
He blew out a long breath and normally he would’ve exploded. Instead,
he shocked me when he gave me a tiny smile, and that really reminded me
of Micah. My heart climbed up into the back of my throat.
A red stain bloomed across his face and he flashed a wobbly grin. “I
realize I’ve done literally everything wrong, but would you give me a
chance to make up for the way I acted? I know it was me, from the
beginning.”
I blinked at him. “Were you drinking tonight?”
He frowned and cocked his head. “No, why?”
“Just checking,” I said, maybe too quietly, because he leaned in closer.
“I’m seeing a guy right now.”
“Oh.” He glanced toward the dance floor, and a skin crawling feeling
washed over me. All I wanted to do was rush over to find Micah, but that
would probably be a bad idea right now, and I was going slowly out of my
mind the longer the awkwardness dragged on.
“Yeah, so maybe with all that stuff at practice and school. . . . Maybe we
just stop?”
He nodded, and I was pissed at myself for feeling bad for him as he
turned to start making his way toward the entrance. I ran a hand over my
face. How could he ever think that harassing me until I fucking hated him
was the way to make me fuck him? Or whatever he’d been imagining in his
head? Maybe he hadn’t really known what he was doing. God knew, I could
relate to that, even though I wanted more than anything to keep Micah in
my life. I heaved a sigh and turned in the direction of the table Milo and
Micah had been at. Now that I’d seen Alexander and I finally knew what
was wrong with him—apparently, he’d never fucking learned any people
skills—I just wanted to get the hell out of here.
I headed toward the table and stopped as I saw Alexander cutting
toward it from a different direction. Alexander got to Micah and leaned in
to say something to him, and my sweet hanii startled, then turned toward
him. Micah said something, and I could tell by the way he furrowed his
eyebrows it was a question because he always made the same cute face
when he was confused. I got there just in time to hear “I came to see Yukio”
from Alexander.
Milo looked like he was standing on the sidelines of the world’s biggest
train wreck.
“Me too.” Micah glanced in my direction.
“But you don’t like his kind of music,” Alexander pointed out, and he
sounded nasty doing it. What was his deal?
“No, but I like him,” Micah said, then seemed to realize maybe he
shouldn’t have. He shot a look at me, as if he thought I could help smooth
this situation out. If there was a god anywhere in the universe, a pit would
open up under my feet so I could fling myself in it.
“What do you mean?” Alexander asked, but he was looming over
Micah, and I didn’t like it. I went over and shoved them apart, almost
knocking Micah off his chair but putting some distance between them.
“Maybe I should’ve told you this a while ago.” Micah took off his
glasses and stared at them. They were reading glasses, so he must’ve
forgotten to take them off before he’d left the house.
“Maybe now isn’t the time, Hanii,” I said.
 “What’s going on?” Alexander crowded into my space and his brow
furrowed.
Milo waved his hands as if he was giving air traffic signals.
My head hurt and pulsed like it was going to fall off my body and roll
away.
“I’m dating Yukio,” Micah said, and the way his voice didn’t waver
made me feel amazing. He gave me a small, pained smile. “I’m sorry you
had to find out I’m gay this way. I should’ve talked to you. I know you
might not find it a very good quality in a person—”
“What?” Alexander stared at me, then a horrible expression took over
his face. “You fucker.”
It was instinct to duck. I didn’t even think about it, so when he
connected with Micah, my gut twisted. All I could do was watch him hit the
floor because when I tried to dive for him, Alexander grabbed the back of
my shirt and yanked me away.
The truce was probably the shortest one on record.
I didn’t remember much of the fight because I was so fucking furious at
what had happened, but less than an hour later Alexander and I were both
sitting in jail. I was one-hundred-percent certain that neither one of us was
going to have a starting position on the basketball team this year.
And worst of all, I wasn’t sure Micah would ever talk to me again.
The basketball I couldn’t give less of a shit about. As I knocked my
head back against the wall in the holding cell at the Lakeside police station,
all I could do was worry about my boyfriend. I didn’t care whose father he
was or how old he was, I just wanted to be with him, and I had no idea how
I would fucking fix any of this.

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 12

OceanofPDF.com
 MICAH

I was confused . E verything had happened so fast , and by the time I

realized what was going on, Yukio and Alex were carted off to jail by the
police.
Now. . . I didn’t know what to do. I’d called Candy, but she wasn’t
interested in helping.
“He’s your son, too, Micah. Work something out.”
What kind of mother didn’t care that her oldest son was behind bars?
For how quickly Alex always defended her, I’d thought they’d have a better
relationship. Yet, she had no interest in anything to do with him anymore,
not since she’d started a new family. Sometimes I wondered if her attitude
was my fault.
I didn’t have many friends to consult with, but one name did pop up in
my head, and I called Brandt. He was a lawyer. As soon as I’d told him
what had happened, he’d told me to sit tight and that he and a friend were
coming to help me.
It was strange to be seated on a plastic chair in a police station waiting
room because I’d never had a reason to be in one, and I didn’t like it. The
lights were too bright, there was too much yelling from an intoxicated man
who was being restrained by two officers, and the smell of something
burning upset my nose. To top it off, my cheek hurt where Alex had
accidentally punched me. The fact that he wasn’t aiming for me didn’t help
matters, either, because he’d been trying to hit Yukio, which was all very
alarming.
 Why? What had Yukio done to him? If there was anyone Alex
should’ve been angry at, it was me. Now he knew the reason me and his
mom had split.
I groaned and scrubbed my palms over my face, wincing when I
knocked my throbbing cheek. My shoulders trembled, but I held in the urge
to scream or cry or something along those lines.
Someone touched my arm. “Are you okay, sir?”
I cringed away from the hand and shook my head. With a deep breath, I
raised my chin to stare up at the cop standing above me. He looked familiar,
but I was stressed and couldn’t recall his name, if I’d ever known it. “Please
don’t touch me.”
Instead of reacting badly like I’d expected, the blond police officer
crouched beside me. He didn’t reach out again, but his expression softened
as he stared at me in concern. “I’m Officer Paxton. Can I do something to
help?” It took me a moment to realize he had a British accent. “You look
horrible, mate. Do you need the hospital?”
I groaned and rubbed my face again, this time on the opposite side of
where Alex had punched me. “I’m fine. I’m waiting for friends. My son and
boyfriend are locked up. Can you help?”
He gave me a sad smile. “Sorry, sir. I can’t do that. I wasn’t the officer
who threw them in the cells.”
I curled in on myself, stomach churning with anxiety. I rubbed my belly,
dropping my head forward.
“What are their names? I’ll check what’s happening with them.”
I tapped my foot against the floor, unease a poison flooding my body.
No matter how much I tried to focus on my surroundings, the panic was
growing fast. Shoving to my feet, I began to pace, my steps agitated. The
cop didn’t move from where he was crouched, and there was something
gentle in the way he stared at me, like he knew I needed a moment to collect
myself. I appreciated his patience enough that I made a mental note to put
in a compliment about him later.
“Alex Carrington and Yukio Hinode.” I crossed my arms over my abs,
then immediately dropped them, the tension making me unable to stay still.
Closing my eyes, I focused on the yelling over in the corner, then the clock
on the wall right behind me.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
I’d rather be at home, in the quiet, than somewhere like this.
 “Let me see what I can find out.”
When I opened my eyes again, Officer Paxton had made his way over to
the information counter, where he began to talk with another cop, a tall
woman with graying brown hair cut in a bob and reading glasses hooked on
the end of her nose. She nodded at what he said and glanced at her
computer, typing fast. A moment later, she whispered to him, and he smiled
before turning back to me. He came over and stopped in front of me, but not
so close that it was uncomfortable.
“Your boyfriend and son haven’t been arrested. They’ve been put in
lockup to cool their heads for a bit. No one’s pressed charges.” He eyed my
left cheek carefully. “Unless you want to.”
“No,” I snapped, flushing when he blinked in surprise at how loud I
was. My foot tapped on the floor and I flinched. “Sorry, Officer. No, I
would not like to press charges. It was an accident.” I laughed, though not
in amusement. “A misunderstanding. My son didn’t even know I was gay,
and then he was at the bar, and Yukio was there, too. I think they know each
other, but I don’t know. And—” I shook my head. Officer Paxton didn’t
care. “No charges. But I’d love to know when they’ll be released?”
Officer Paxton hooked his thumbs in his utility belt, giving me a small
smile. He had a kind face, and he was handsome, in a California surfer dude
way. His dark blond hair was messy and he had a sharp jaw, but he wasn’t
an arrogant asshole like some of the cops I’d run across. “That’s up to the
officers who took them in.”
“Do you think—”
The door whumped open, and I shot a look in that direction as Brandt
came rushing over with a couple of men behind him. I didn’t know the
strangers he’d brought, but they wore suits and looked very professional.
One was shorter than Brandt, with close-cropped gray hair and sad eyes that
stared down Officer Paxton immediately. He was very muscular and his
gray suit pulled tightly across his thick arms.
The other man was taller, with short dark hair, round gold-rimmed
glasses, and a petulant pursed mouth. As soon as his gaze settled on the
officer, some of the hardness in his expression bled away, but he still
reminded me of a rattlesnake, ready to strike. “Officer Paxton.”
The cop stood taller, and his face stayed soft. If anything, he stared at
the tall man with a loving look that made me want to blush and glance
away. “Mr. Demchenko.”
 “Are you the police officer holding my client in the cells?” Mr.
Demchenko pressed his mouth together firmly and straightened.
Brandt sidled up to me, his blue eyes sparkling even though he was
clearly concerned, and while he didn’t touch me, as if he instinctively knew
not to, he offered comfort by just being here. His dark hair was shorter than
the last time I’d seen him, like he’d gotten a recent cut. “I brought some
lawyers I know. That’s River.” He pointed at the taller man with the glasses.
“And this is Flynn.”
The gray-haired, muscular man gave me a small smile. “Pleasure to
meet a friend of Brandt’s. We’ll have your son out of here in no time.”
“My son and boyfriend,” I said quickly, and three sets of very confused
gazes turned to me.
I flushed and laughed nervously, my foot tapping more insistently the
more anxious I grew. “Not the same person. My son and my boyfriend were
the ones in the fight. My son went to hit my boyfriend, but he missed and
got me. And then my boyfriend hit him, and he started a bar brawl.”
River turned back to Officer Paxton. “My clients.”
Officer Paxton nodded. “I can show you to the holding cells, but I didn’t
arrest them. They were put in the cells to calm down. No one’s pressed
charges. Officer Christofides and her partner are the ones who brought them
in. She’s a good cop, and if I have a chat with her, she’ll release them—if
there’s a promise of no more trouble. We don’t want a call to another fight.”
“There won’t be,” I said quickly before anyone else could say a thing.
“I’ll make sure of it.”
River stared at me for a long moment before his attention switched back
to Officer Paxton. “You heard him. There won’t be any issues.”
Officer Paxton chuckled and held up his finger. “I’ll be back. Give me
five.”
He left through a door to the side of the room, using a code to unlock it
and slip through. As soon as he left, River turned to me, gaze fierce through
his sparkly gold glasses. He didn’t say a word, but it felt like I was being
judged.
I shifted uncomfortably.
Flynn cleared his throat and smiled. “Well, that was easy.”
“I’m sorry for bringing you all here like this.” I wrung my hands
together and sighed. “Earlier, no one would listen to me. Officer Paxton
came to talk to me just before you got here.”
 River hummed. “He’s a good cop.”
Flynn laughed. “He’d have to be. You wouldn’t date anyone who
wasn’t.”
Realization dawned on me and I gasped. “Oh. Officer Paxton is your
partner?”
River inclined his head. “Correct, but we’re professional. If it had come
to the situation of our relationship being a conflict of interest, my firm and
Jayce have ways to handle it. Either I would’ve stepped back and replaced
myself with another one of my lawyers, or Jayce would have bowed out.”
I shook my head. “I’m not questioning that at all. I was just surprised.
I’m also gay.”
River blinked at me. “Yes, I assumed as much when you said your
boyfriend was part of the BS.”
“Oh.” I flinched in embarrassment and laughed awkwardly. Clutching
my fingers together tightly to stop them from twitching, I flashed him a
smile. “Right. Of course. Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” He pursed his lips and crossed his arms, staring at the man
who’d been yelling earlier. He’d settled down, but he was slouched forward
with cuffs locked around his wrists at his back.
Now that I was calm enough to stare at him, I noticed the suit the drunk
man was wearing, which wasn’t cheap by any standards. I wasn’t
knowledgeable about clothing, but his tie was made of shiny purple silk and
the pin in it flashed. Maybe it was a real diamond. His shoes were black and
appeared new.
“Excuse me. I believe I’ve found a new client.” River flashed us a sly
smile before he strode over to the drunk like a shark sensing blood in the
water. I had to appreciate the zest he had for his work. He clearly smelled
cash. Which brought the issue of money to my brain.
I winced and tugged my wallet from my jeans. “I don’t have much on
me. How much is it for your services?” I glanced up at Brandt’s friend. It
took me a moment to remember his name—Flynn.
Flynn shook his head and went to pat me, but Brandt grabbed his wrist,
stopping him. Flynn’s hand dropped, but he kept smiling. “It’s nothing. We
didn’t really help anyway.”
“You’re not a good lawyer.” I frowned when Flynn gave me a startled
stare. “Good lawyers charge their clients for the smallest things. You came,
so you should charge me.”
 Brandt chuckled behind his palm, and I noticed a small old white scar
between his thumb and forefinger, like he’d cut it at some point in his past.
“Micah, take a freebie when you’re offered one. Trust me. You don’t want
to know what River’s firm charges for a call-out fee.”
“And River seems to have found a client.” Flynn waved his hand at the
drunk, who was nodding eagerly at whatever a crouched River was telling
him.
River slipped a business card into the front pocket of the fancy shirt that
went along with the tie, and I assumed he was telling the drunk to call him
when he sobered up.
“You’re an instructor at the university, too, so I’m happy to help. I used
to teach at the law school.” Flynn winked at me.
“Why did you leave?” I asked, realizing after I’d said it that maybe that
wasn’t my business.
Flynn seemed nice, though, and he chuckled. “I fell in love.”
“Why does that mean you had to leave?” I cocked my head curiously.
“Judge was my student, and my boss wasn’t a fan of me dating a
student, especially one from an affluent family whose parents donated to the
law school. I’ve basically decided that last part was the thing that did me in.
There is no specifically outlined policy against dating students, but she said
she would argue it went against the ethics clause in my contract.” He
crossed his arms and sighed. “But I don’t regret it. Judge is the love of my
life, and I have a job with River now. I miss teaching, but it is what it is.”
I nodded, my heart hurting. I couldn’t hear that phrase without thinking
about Yukio’s tattoo. Flynn had been dating a student like I was. “So, you
can get fired for dating a student? What about one not in any of your
classes?”
Flynn scrutinized me carefully, a knowing look in his warm brown eyes.
“I was Judge’s instructor, but I’m sure dating someone who isn’t in your
class would be fine. Is your boyfriend a student?”
Brandt shot me a surprised stare when I nodded.
“Yes. He attends the college, but he studies accounting. I’m a history
professor. I never taught him.”
Flynn stroked his chin. “Then I’m sure you’ll be okay. If you have any
issues with the school, you can contact me, and I’ll help. With him not
being in any of your classes, there’s no reason for them to have a problem.”
 I nodded and gave him a small smile. “I appreciate it. Thank you. Aside
from Brandt, I don’t know any other gay men except me. And Yukio. That’s
my boyfriend. I don’t go out much.”
Flynn chuckled. “Well, I’m gay. Your tally is getting higher.”
I laughed loudly and the anxiety twisting at my insides settled. The
tapping of my foot decreased and I didn’t need to hold my fingers tightly to
stop myself from wringing them together.
“You also know River and Jayce now, too.” Flynn pulled out his phone
and showed it to me. “How about you put your phone number in here, and
we can have dinner sometime? Me, Judge, you, and your boyfriend. And
maybe we can convince River and Jayce to come. River’s always on the go
with work, but Jayce makes him take time out every so often.”
I took the phone from Flynn and created a new contact with my name,
number, and email before I passed it back. “I would really like that.”
“Great.” Flynn played on the screen for a short moment, and my phone
buzzed in my pocket. “I sent you a message, so you know my cell, too.”
I grinned at him just as the door next to the front desk opened and a
couple of cops walked out with Yukio and Alex. They were glaring at each
other, but they appeared to keep their cool as the cops guided them over to
the counter to do some paperwork.
I watched, nervous and anxious again. Yukio kept glancing over his
shoulder at me, but he looked worse for wear with a bruise already forming
on his right jaw and eye. He offered me a small smile, and I raised my hand
to let him know I was here and not going anywhere. Alex, on the other
hand, didn’t bother to pay attention to me at all, and my heart broke a little.
When they were done, Yukio came rushing straight over to me, his
hands hovering above my arms. “Can I touch you?”
I nodded. As restless as I was, I wanted to feel him against me. He laid
his hands on my arms and dragged me into a hug. Even though I was taller
than him, I buried my face against his neck, curling my arms around him
and tugging him tighter to me. I sighed, a wave of relief assaulting me until
it got difficult to breathe.
Someone grunted, and I raised my eyes to Alex, whose mouth twisted
as he gave us a dirty expression and stormed out of the station. I
straightened and pushed out of Yukio’s hug, running after my son. I
knocked open the door, and by the time I saw Alex, he was far away on the
sidewalk. Racing after him, I rubbed my chest to try to soothe my throbbing
heart.
“Alex! Alexander! Stop!”
He did, much to my surprise, and spun around on his heels to stare at
me as I reached him. The betrayal in his gaze was obvious, and while I
wasn’t great at always seeing things with him, I couldn’t miss that look.
“What do you want?”
“I’m sorry. I know you’re mad at me for being gay—”
“What?” His mean sneer made me freeze. “I don’t care who you fuck.”
I inhaled and exhaled slowly, letting his words sink in. “But you were so
angry at the bar.”
He let out a scream that had me jumping in surprise, and he slapped his
hands on his face. “For fuck’s sake! Dad, he’s using you.”
I swallowed, fear twisting my insides. Curling my fingers into my
palms, I focused on him as best I could as the anxiety ramped up again.
“What do you mean?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Fuck. This is so fucked up.”
“What is?” My voice rose and I winced at how panicked I sounded.
He stared at me for a long moment, and I thought I was going to die
because I held my breath, waiting. “Hinode is on my basketball team, Dad.
He was the guy I got in a fight with last month. He likes to rile me up and
make me mad. Can’t you see what this was? It was revenge.” He waved his
hand, gesturing over my shoulder, but I couldn’t tear my gaze off him as my
brain connected the dots. “He obviously saw you when Charbonneau called
you to his office. You were cannon fodder in our war. He doesn’t love you,
he didn’t even want to date you. Hinode was using you. Your relationship
was fake, and he was waiting for the perfect time to rub it in my face.”
The world crashed around me in one big fiery heap. I wobbled and fell
backward, flopping onto the sidewalk beneath me. Alex didn’t reach for me,
but I didn’t expect him to, either. My weak knees were never going to hold
me, and this wasn’t the first time I hadn’t taken bad news well. When
Candy had left me, I’d done the same thing.
I placed a hand over my mouth, astonishment squeezing the air from my
lungs. Pain joined the shock and my arm began to shake. I stared back at the
single-story police station. The lights surrounding the brick building were
too bright. A small noise close by startled me.
I blinked at Alex. “I was a game?”
 Alex swallowed, and he stared up at a streetlight above him. The hurt on
his face probably mimicked mine, and I wished I had the energy to rise and
hug him to my chest. “Yeah. You were.”
“Micah?” Yukio’s voice filled the still air. Cars whooshed past us, and
somewhere there was laughter, but everything else felt so far away from us
now. In this world of agony, there was only me and Alex and now Yukio.
“Are you all right? What did he do?”
Alex stepped forward, and I didn’t stop him. “What did I do? Are you
fucking kidding, Hinode? I told him the truth. How you used him to get
revenge on me.”
“What?” Yukio came into the light, and he looked so good that it hurt.
Even with the bruises and swelling, he was handsome, and my heart
ached now that I had the knowledge that it was all just a ruse.
A challenge.
Vengeance.
The thoughts made my stomach churn and tears burned in my eyes. I
hadn’t known Yukio for long, but I’d thought we had something. Instead, I
was nothing to him. How stupid was I?
He shot me a pleading look and shifted toward me.
I shook my head, warning him off.
“That isn’t true, Micah.”
“It’s not?” I asked, my words wobbly. I clutched my hands to my chest
and stared at the sidewalk I was sitting on. “You didn’t see me when I came
to Professor Charbonneau’s office after you got into a fight with Alex?”
He hesitated and that was the only answer I needed.
“Were you dating me to get revenge on Alex?” I asked. He opened his
mouth, but I was too far gone to stop. “Did you fuck me so you could gloat
to my son about it? Was I a fucking game?” I screamed that last word, and I
forced myself to my feet, even though my legs were still shaky. Everything
hurt so much that I thought I was going to die.
My first real relationship since I’d tried to be me, and it was all fake.
What made the pain worse was that I cared for him.
He stared at me for too long, and I couldn’t stop the tears from leaking,
though I’d tried to keep them at bay. The droplets slid down my cheeks and
I took a shuddery breath.
“I wish I could say none of what he said was true, but I can’t.” He
shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and his jaw hardened. I hated
that he was directly under the light. I wished I couldn’t see him at all. “It
started out that way, Micah, but it didn’t stay that way. I care for you, and
when I realized I really like you, I tried to make peace with Alexander so
we could make our relationship work.” He yanked his hands out of his
pockets and held out an arm to me, but I merely stared at it accusingly.
“Please. Come here. Let’s go to your house so we can talk about it. I’ll tell
you everything, I promise.”
“Fuck off,” Alex snapped, startling me. I’d forgotten he was there. “You
fucked him so you could tell me all about it. I came to tell you I liked you,
and then you led me over to Dad.”
My eyes widened. Liked him? Alex liked Yukio? My head spun faster
and dizziness made me wobble again.
“I never led you over to him. I thought you’d left, and when I came over
to Micah, you were there.” Yukio straightened and slid between me and
Alex. “Now you’re making shit up.”
Tears burned my eyes and I hated that I was weak enough to let them
go. Why did it hurt so much?
Yukio turned toward me. “Hanii, let me take you home. Please. I can tell
you everything.”
“Why?” I whispered, then chewed on my bottom lip. “So you can lie?
Because that’s what you did, Yukio. You lied to me from the beginning.
Fuck.” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “I’m so naive. My dad always
told me I was stupid, and that if I didn’t harden up someone would hurt me.
Gods. Look at me now.”
“Micah, please.” He reached for me, and I slapped away his hand.
“Don’t touch me. You don’t get the right to come near me.” I stepped
away from him and nearly tripped, but I managed to catch myself. My
cheek ached, but not as much as my chest. In a matter of one night,
everything went to hell. All the good parts of my life died.
The distraught expression on his face tugged my heart strings, but not
enough for me to accept any plea or apology. He’d treated me like a fool,
something I’d always feared. The embarrassment and shame were more
than simple feelings, they were an overpowering deluge that made me want
to retreat and never show my face in public again. I’d trusted a man when
my head told me not to, and now I would suffer the consequences.
“Did you laugh?” I whispered, my face scorching with heat. “When you
fucked me, did you tell Milo and your friends and laugh?”
 “Of course not.” He shook his head furiously. “In the weeks I’ve known
you, I really started to like you.”
“So, why not tell me?” I yelled louder than I’d meant to, catching the
attention of a couple of people walking down the other side of the street.
They paused and watched us, and my mortification was complete. Now we
had an audience. “If you’d told me earlier, I might have believed you, but
now? This? And Alex likes you?” I shot a look at Alex. “You like him?”
His jaw tightened and he shrugged. “Yeah, I did. That’s why I was at the
bar tonight, to tell him.”
Yukio grunted. “How about you tell your dad what you’ve been doing?”
He threw his hands up in the air and his rings glittered. “You’ve been
harassing me, bullying me since we met. How the fuck does that say you
like me? It’s fucked up.”
“So, your revenge is to fuck me and gloat to him about it?” I still
couldn’t understand it. The entire situation made my head spin.
Yukio dropped his hands and his mouth twisted sadly. “Micah, please let
me explain. I never did that. I’ll tell you everything.”
“No.” I shook my head. My fingers itched and my foot began tapping
again as my anxiety reached peak heights. I needed to go home and hide
away where no one could find me. I was already imagining my comfortable
bed with the lights out and my phone off, where I could be by myself and
weep. “This is done. I’m not a complete idiot, and you may have made a
fool of me, but I won’t let it continue. You got your revenge, so I hope
you’re happy.”
I held up my palm when he went to speak again, and I stalked around
him. “Alexander, let’s go. Now.”
To my surprise, Alex didn’t argue. He followed me, even as Yukio
called my name, and I led him as fast as I could toward my Kia, which I’d
parked across the street from the station. We didn’t say a word as we got
into the car and drove off, and when I got him back to the house that he
shared with a few other guys, he merely gave me a nod before he got out. I
wished I knew what to say to him, but it was too much, and I needed a hot
shower and my bed.
By the time I got home, I was a wreck. I’d started crying somewhere
between Alex’s place and mine, and I kept wiping my nose with the back of
my hand and cursing myself for my idiocy. I stumbled my way into the
house and locked it securely so no one could get in before I walked toward
the bathroom on shaky knees.
I collapsed during my shower, and I didn’t know how long I sat there,
but I rested my head against the tiled wall and cried more. The release of
my sadness soothed my soul a little, but that didn’t stop the shame that
continued to play scenes in my head over and over again. I thought about
the first time we’d had sex, then the moments after that, and I replayed the
days we’d spent together when we hadn’t been at the school. He’d even
been so caring and patient about the fact that I hadn’t bottomed before I met
him. The time spent together had been satisfying.
And a lie.
By the time I crawled into bed, I was more than a mess, but I didn’t
care. All I wanted to do was curl in on myself and think about anything else
except Yukio, but that wasn’t how my brain worked. The lyrics to his songs
echoed in my mind, and I murmured them as I cuddled deeper under the
blanket in only my boxers.
At some point during the night, he knocked loudly on the door and
screamed my name.
“Micah, I know you’re there. Let me tell you everything. Please.” His
voice shook, and I didn’t know if it was because he was drunk or crying.
Did he have a heart? No, I didn’t think so. Either way, he didn’t deserve my
mercy. He’d used me, and I was nothing to him but revenge, so I closed my
eyes tightly and pretended I didn’t hear him.
Next, he was at my window, trying to jiggle it open. “Micah? Listen.
Please listen. Hanii, please.”
My tears were dry at this point and salt crusted my lashes. I didn’t have
the energy to waste any more feelings on him, so I lay there, listening to
him beg. He could get on his knees and offer me the world for all I cared; it
didn’t change the fact that he’d hurt and embarrassed me. I had no idea
which one was worse, but it reminded me why I enjoyed my routines. If I
didn’t step out of how I did things or away from the people I knew, I
couldn’t have my heart shattered.
He knocked on the window and a thump vibrated through the bedroom.
I thought he might’ve hit his forehead against the glass. “Hanii. Hanii.”
I finally found my voice. “Leave. Right now.”
“Micah.”
 “Leave,” I screamed, shocked that I had enough drive to do it. “I never
want to see your face again, Yukio. I told you, we’re done. Get lost.”
“Let me—”
“No. You don’t get to explain. You have no right. Go.”
Silence was the answer I received, and while I usually loved the quiet,
this time I hated it. The man I was used to giving me orders was gone, and
I’d only just gotten accustomed to cuddling with his body. Now, the bed
was cold again.
Part of me wished he’d broken the glass and made his way in,
demanding I listen to him, but the idea was silly. As much as I loved his
dominance, this was a deal-breaker.
I was his revenge on Alex.
Alex wanted him.
Both of those facts would be rebounding in my head, and I didn’t think I
would get much sleep tonight.
Or for the next week.
Or maybe ever again.
I hated Yukio Hinode for making me feel this way.

OceanofPDF.com
 13

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

K nock , knock , knock . P ause . K nock , knock , knock , knock .

The incessant noise at my door irritated me and my toes twitched. I tried
really hard to go back to sleep, but the annoyance didn’t stop. I curled into a
ball.
“Go away! Yamero! Goddamn it. I said stop!”
The irritating rapping ended, and I settled back down into my nice warm
cocoon, where I could pretend everything I enjoyed in my life hadn’t
exploded in my face. Nope, nothing to see here, just a guy who didn’t want
to ever see the light of day again. I tugged my comforter firmly around me.
“Fuck,” I mumbled. “Fuck everything.”
The door opened.
“No.” I grabbed my comforter to tuck it even more tightly around my
body and imitated a corpse. The stench of my own BO started to get to me,
but it wouldn’t kill me, and it might murder the person who was stupid
enough to bust in here without an invitation.
Someone patted my head through the comforter. I tried to wriggle away,
slinking along like a caterpillar, but the person just kept following me.
“Do you want to die?” I yelled.
“Yukio,” Milo singsonged. “Yukio, it’s morning. Time to wake up.”
“So?” I snapped.
“Well—” The patting on my head continued, and I bit the inside of my
bottom lip to stop myself from saying anything really nasty. “—it’s been a
few days. I’m pretty sure you haven’t showered for a while.” There was the
sound of him kicking something across the floor. “Although, based on the
pizza boxes building up in here, you ate. Not well, but we take what we can
get, huh?”
I hated the soothing timber of his tone. I hated that he was still patting
my head. Most of all, I hated that I wasn’t going to be able to slip over to
Micah’s house and snuggle into his warm arms after practice—if it was a
weekend. I didn’t even remember what fucking day of the week it was
anymore.
Everything was shit.
“Grunt once to let me know if you’re alive. Twice if you’re dead,” he
murmured, a satanic fairy godmother, breezing goodwill into my ear.
I grunted twice, just to be an asshole.
He chuckled. “Mom was worried about you because you haven’t been
to dinner at our house. I told her—”
“Why did you tell her anything?” I interrupted, still not coming out into
the open. I flipped him off, but he couldn’t see me. “Don’t be nosy.”
“Well, because I’m worried. I don’t know,” he said quietly, and I hated
that Milo, my best friend, sounded lost and sad because of me.
Growling, I shrugged. “Sorry.”
He shook me with a hand on my back. “You missed two practices and a
ton of classes. You have to get up. You can’t keep doing this.”
I remained silent. Maybe if I pretended to be a rock he would leave.
“Listen,” he said, and the steel in his tone shocked me because it was
very un-Milo-like. “If you don’t get to practice this morning, Coach is
going to lose his fucking mind. He followed me into the shower yesterday
to demand to know where the fuck you were. With the season getting close
to officially starting, the man is unhinged. He’s not taking any shit from
anyone. And he’s announcing the starters for the season. You will be lucky
if he doesn’t cut you completely out of spite. And besides, Alexander hasn’t
been there.”
“What?” I asked, shoving down my comforter. The light stung my eyes
and I blinked.
Milo flashed me a big grin and cupped my cheeks.
I shrugged him off with a glare.
He tapped my nose, and I swatted at him. “He’s been missing, too!
You’re in the clear. Let’s be real, with Coach in take no prisoners mode,
Alexander’s gone if he doesn’t surface. Forever. College career over.”
Staring at the ceiling, I shrugged. “Who cares?”
 Milo leaned over me until he was scowling directly into my face. I
hated that I’d made him upset because he was one of the most cheerful
people I knew. “Are you serious? Since when are you a quitter, Hinode?
Where is your team spirit?”
He sounded so much like Coach that my lips twitched toward a smile,
even though an awful pit lived directly inside my stomach and it opened
wider. It ran miles into the center of the earth. The hole was full of piranhas
that kept gnawing at the rest of me. Ugh, I hated this.
“Do you want that fucker, Alexander, to win?” He raised his eyebrows
and shook his head. “I thought you were better than that.”
I grabbed Milo by the collar and yanked him down beside me. He
laughed as he crashed to the bed, and I felt better after I smacked him a few
times with a pillow.
“What you don’t get is that I really don’t care about Alexander. I
couldn’t fucking care less about him. I stopped caring weeks ago.” I
finished my minirant by slapping him across the face with my pillow, then
tossed it aside.
Milo rested his cheek on the bed and pouted at me. “I don’t get it.”
“I can’t give a shit about the feud with Alexander if I want to be with
Micah. And I chose Micah.” My voice was rough, and I cleared my throat,
but I had a feeling it wasn’t going to do much to help. I hated that all this
bullshit had bubbled over.
“Well, I get all that,” he said softly, but his bottom lip jutted farther.
“Don’t you care about me, too? I want you, my best buddy, to be at my side
as we annihilate every other team this season.” He flashed a wide grin.
Ruffling his hair, I snorted. “I’ve never heard anyone make basketball
sound like a love song. You have talent. Come sing in the band.”
“Either you get out of bed, or I’m getting my mom to come here.” He
flicked my ear. “I’ll tell her how depressed you are, and then she’ll make
you go talk to her therapist, Bob. She loves Bob. So, either you do what I’m
asking now, or I’ll set her loose on you because she likes you a lot and she
would do it. And I care about you enough to do that to you.” He wrinkled
his nose. “It’s the extreme option.”
I glared at him, but he only stared at me, his brown eyes gleaming with
love and care and all the bullshit that made me like him in the first place.
“Fuck. Fine. You’re a pain in the ass.”
 “Yes!” He hopped up on the bed, bouncing me all around. “Let’s get to
practice!”
Sniffing myself, I grimaced. Yeah, I’d been wallowing for a few days.
Maybe he had a point. “I’ll hop in the shower.”
“No time! You’ll just get stinky again.” He tugged on my hand until I
stumbled out from underneath the blankets. He snickered at my red-and-
black LA Angels boxers, and I shoved him until he squawked because his
foot landed in an open pizza box.
“Go get me a Red Bull from the fridge. Please.” I widened my eyes at
him and made my bottom lip quiver. “I’m running on heartbreak and spite. I
need caffeine in the mix.”
He laughed and gave me a quick hug. “Anything. Man, I was about
ready to bring my mom here for real. You were scaring me.” His words
stuck with me as I hustled to get dressed, and he met me at the bottom of
the stairs with a cold energy drink—exactly what I needed to jumpstart my
mind.
He drove my car so I could self-medicate and try to get my brain
working for something other than turning over—obsessively—all the ways
I’d fucked up the other night. I should’ve kicked in Micah’s front door and
let him know exactly how much I cared about him, but even to me that
sounded over the top.
It didn’t mean I didn’t want to do it, though.
I’d gotten used to being around him faster than I could snap my fingers,
but maybe our connection formed quickly because we worked so well
together. Sometimes you just met someone and clicked, and I had with him.
Sighing, I finished my Red Bull and braced for another early morning
practice as the first fingers of a rosy, perfect dawn streaked across the sky.
Milo was right. When we got inside the gym and onto the basketball
court, Alexander wasn’t warming up with the rest of the team. The lying
worm must’ve been too embarrassed to show his face here. Knowing I’d
been targeted by him to begin with because he had too many fucking
emotions he couldn’t deal with, not because of anything I’d done to upset
him, didn’t make me feel any better. It was all just so much more fucked up
now that I knew he liked me—or thought he did, anyway.
“Fuck it. Stop thinking about it.” I shrugged off my hoodie and bent
over, stretching along with everyone else.
 An hour and a half later, I was sweaty and really feeling the days I
hadn’t bothered to do anything as I stood at the half-court line along with
the rest of the team while Coach paced around with an old-fashioned
clipboard in his hand. He tugged a fucking flip phone out of his pocket,
apparently checking the time, and the shock almost made me fall over. It
wasn’t new. Could he even text on that thing? He wasn’t so much older than
us that he should be using a piece of tech that was almost as bad as using an
actual brick to communicate, but the evidence was clear in front of me.
“All right, Fireballs.” He shoved his phone back in his pocket, then held
up the clipboard. “The moment you’ve all been waiting for. Your starters.”
A cheer went up from the rest of the guys, but I wasn’t feeling too hot,
so I stood there with my arms crossed. I closed my eyes and listened to
names get called, and smiled at Parilla, then opened my eyes to smack Milo
on the back in congratulations. He grinned at me, but his attention was fixed
on Coach. His was the last name, though, and my gut dropped.
“The rest of you, keep in shape. You never know when we’ll need you
in the game or when you’ll just be better, and I’ll start you.” He glanced at
everyone who had been named a starter when he said that. “There are no
safe spots on the starting roster. Either you earn it and keep it or you don’t.”
With that, he turned and walked away, not even bothering to officially
declare practice over. The room exploded with noise as congratulations
were called out. Some people were pissed off, others sad. I felt numb. I’d
cared about being a starter, but on top of not having Micah, this just fucking
sucked.
I stomped over to my hoodie and swiped it off the floor, then almost
jumped out of my skin as someone tapped me hard on the shoulder. I spun
around, fists up, but Coach used his clipboard to smack them down.
“If you stop flaking on practice, in two weeks I’ll pull Banks and put
you in as a starter.” My heart leaped. Fuck yes.
“Where is Carrington?”
Milo came up behind Coach and glared at me over his shoulder, but I
wanted to know what had happened.
Coach shrugged and scowled. “He washed out. Quit.” He bopped me on
the shoulder, then stalked over to scare Michael Mathers half to death and
pull the same thing on him.
“After all that bullshit, he quit?” My voice bounced around. People
turned to look at me with interest. I spun toward Milo. “He fucking quit?”
 Milo grimaced. “Well, I’m not surprised. He was way the hell out of
line. He punched your boyfriend. . . his dad. . . .” Milo bit his thumb for a
minute as if he wasn’t quite able to figure out what he should say. “There
were a lot of reasons for him to tuck his tail between his legs and run, don’t
you think?”
“This is a load of shit,” I snapped, then tugged on my hoodie. I stormed
out of practice with Milo hot on my heels.
“What are you doing?” He drummed on my back, then rushed ahead of
me to walk backward, as if he thought his antics would stop me.
“Nothing,” I snarled.
He tried several times to get me to answer him. When I wouldn’t detour
from my search for Carrington to go to class, he groaned and finally raced
off so he wouldn’t be late.
“My mom has fits when I miss class,” he called over his shoulder at me.
“Sorry, I can’t lie to her. I’m bad at it.”
I rolled my eyes, but I knew his family was close-knit, so I wasn’t
exactly surprised. “You better hope she never asks about Gracie May, then!”
He flipped me off but didn’t stop.
After spending a few hours searching high and low, I finally got
Alexander’s address from one of his housemates. Before I could talk myself
out of it, I caught a ride to his place with one of his roomies. It was sneaky
because I even had an invite inside.
“Where’s Alexander’s room?” I asked Edmond Greene, the redheaded
football player who’d been so helpful. I glanced around the bland entryway
cluttered with shoes. He gave me a happy smile and tilted his head, all
helpful puppy.
“Upstairs. Second room on the right. You’re not going to start trouble
with him, are you? It’s good for teammates to work stuff out.” He gave me
one serious nod.
Gritting my teeth, I ran up the steps. The wood was caked in a fine layer
of filth that I assumed the guys who lived here didn’t care about, and I was
thankful the ones I lived with weren’t as bad. I beat on the bedroom door
like I was raiding the place, and after a few curse words it swung inward.
Alexander gaped at me. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and he looked like
total shit. He hadn’t shaved and maybe he’d done the same thing I had,
simply holed up to wait out the storm of crap swirling in his guts. The fact
that we were even slightly alike pissed me off even more.
 I pointed at him. “You fucking quit.”
He hung his head and his cheeks flushed that red I’d always enjoyed
seeing, but now that I knew him better—and knew Micah—I could tell he
wasn’t angry. He was embarrassed.
And I hated that I knew that.
And I hated that I cared.
“Why give up now?” I raised my hands toward him because I half
wanted to slap him, but then let them fall to my sides.
He shrugged and crossed his arms. The bruises on his face were healing
into a sickly green, and I knew mine didn’t look much better. Thinking
about the injuries reminded me of Micah, and all the pain and anger that
had been boiling in me since that shit went down exploded until I couldn’t
breathe.
“You fucking tell Micah all the shady shit you pulled. Put this into
perspective so I can talk to him.” I jabbed his chest, and he shoved me
backward. I stopped, and so did he.
“You want me to help you bang my dad? Are you insane? He doesn’t
even fuck guys!” Alexander’s face crumpled like a confused toddler. My
baby brother Asuka was more mature.
I raised an eyebrow at him, and he groaned.
“Fucking fine,” I snapped, then turned to stalk toward the stairs. Before
I got to the end of the hall, he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. I
was ready to swing, but he backed off fast.
“Why do you care that I quit?” he asked quietly.
I bit the inside of my cheek until it hurt. “Because you put me through a
bunch of bullshit. Something should at least come out the other end of it.
Something good. Fire forges gold.”
“It also burns cities,” he said, tone low.
I grinned.
“What?” he snapped.
“This conversation reminds me of an Alexander the Great movie I
watched with Micah.”
Alexander—the less than great one in front of me—rubbed the back of
his neck and jutted his jaw toward me. “Are you telling me you watched his
stupid movies with him?”
Anger had me ready to throw a punch instantly. I didn’t know why he
got under my skin so fast. “Don’t talk to me about Micah if you can’t say
anything nice.”
“Did you watch his crap with him or not?” He stared at me like the
answer was important.
“Yeah, okay? It’s fun, and he’s cute when he’s excited about things he
likes.”
Alexander’s brow furrowed and he stared at the floor between our feet.
“Whatever. I’m done with this,” I said, all at once exhausted. I shot
looks over my shoulder as I got to the stairs, then hustled down and outside.
I had a lot to think about if I wanted to get back together with Micah, which
I still did.
And I would have to get back to classes or my dad would fly to New
Gothenburg to see what was going wrong, and I definitely didn’t want that
right now. I’d given him my password so he could check my grades, and I
probably had a few zeros from projects I hadn’t turned in yet. He would
assume I was in a dangerous kind of trouble that wasn’t in my life right
now, and I was doing exactly as he’d told me, which was keep my head low.
Except for ending up in a jail cell.
Scrubbing at my face, I sighed as I made it to the sidewalk. Alexander’s
house was about three miles from school, and with a shrug, I started
jogging. I had to get into better shape or Milo would pout at me a lot, and I
didn’t have time for that.
After my workout, I went home to shower, and then I forced myself to
go to my afternoon classes. By the time the evening rolled around I was
starting to feel better. Milo sat in the passenger seat of the Boxter, playing a
game on his phone as I drove around in Micah’s neighborhood. After
psyching myself up for it, I did the loop around his cul-de-sac. His car was
parked in the driveway, so that meant he’d decided to work at home, not the
library as usual. I hated the change.
Was he doing it to avoid me?
Was he doing it because he was sad, too?
“Why am I here?” Milo asked, glancing out as we passed Micah’s Kia.
“Pretty sure you can stalk your ex alone.”
“I told you.” I sighed. “You’re here to keep me from kicking in the front
door. How do I get him to talk to me again?” I slapped the steering wheel.
“All I want to do is explain that I care about him.”
“Care, huh? That’s what this is?” He stared at me, and I ignored him.
 I wasn’t quite prepared to put a more serious label on a feeling I was
having for someone who couldn’t even stand to look at me.
Milo hummed. “My dad brings my mom flowers when they fight. He
says it doesn’t matter who started the fight. What matters is who apologizes,
so he always does it, no matter what.”
I left the cul-de-sac and got caught at a red light. With a sigh, I leaned
forward, bonking my head off the horn. Milo swore as the noise exploded
into the night air, and I smirked for the first time all day as I sat up. “That
won’t work for this,” I said, grinning at him. “Thanks for trying to help.”
“But it can’t hurt, right?” He shrugged and went back to his phone as it
made a weird sound that I figured came from his game.
“I really hate you,” I said as the light turned green, and I tapped the gas
pedal.
“Why?” He peeked out of the window. “Your boyfriend’s house is back
that way,” he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “You can’t stalk him
like a creep in this direction.”
“I’m going to find some flowers. Good ones. Not from the grocery
store.”
“Damn, okay,” he said with a grin, then winked at me. “Roses are
always good.”
“It has to be more than good,” I said, feeling desperate again. “But
you’re right. I’m not a quitter. I’ve got this.”
He slapped my shoulder, and I was actually smiling as I pushed the
pedal down and sped off.

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 MICAH

I’ d spent a few days in a zombielike state , and I had no one close

enough to notice. Alex hadn’t reached out to me, and I didn’t bother trying
to contact him. After the disaster at the police station, I wanted to wallow in
shame. My chest hadn’t stopped aching, and at one point while I was
getting ready for class, I’d thought I was having a heart attack, but it turned
out to be a panic attack.
As I stared out at the numerous faces in the lecture hall, I wondered how
many of them knew. How many of the students were silently laughing at
how stupid their teacher was? Yet, they all looked at me in confusion as I
fell quiet.
“Sir?” Madalyn, one of the smartest people in my Introduction to
Ancient Greek History class, sat up straighter in the front row. Her blonde
hair was loose around her shoulders and her round silver glasses flashed as
she tilted her head. She had black ink tattooed along her arms and some of
them reminded me of Yukio, including a particular one she had of a man on
an electric guitar. “Is everything okay?”
No, Madalyn, it isn’t. I had my heart broken into a thousand pieces by a
man around your age, and now I want to know if he, or anyone else, has
spread the tale of my foolishness around the college.
Instead of saying any of those things, I smiled and continued the lecture.
After the lesson was finished and everyone had filtered up the steps and
out of the hall, I grabbed my phone and stared at it. I didn’t have any missed
calls from him, but there was one from my brother, then a text message
asking me to call him.
 With my lecture being the last of the day, I didn’t need to rush out, so I
sat in the chair behind the simple white table at the front of the room. I liked
the amphitheater hall, and I always enjoyed teaching in it, but today it
didn’t bring me any joy as I glanced up the rows of seats. Staring at my
phone, my thumb hovered over the screen as I contemplated what to do.
Phillip rarely called, and while he was much better than Dad in a lot of
ways, he wasn’t exactly sympathetic to me, either. The one truly generous
thing he’d ever done for me was to help with Alexander and his sports
when he was a boy. I couldn’t stand the noise of the practices or the crowds
at games, and he’d stepped in. I’d gone to therapy a couple of years ago to
get help with that issue.
Phillip had grown up as the oldest and dealt with Dad’s attitude the
longest. His hardened personality was Dad’s fault as much as my fearful
one was, and we’d developed two very different trauma responses—at least,
according to the research I’d done.
Finally, I tapped Phillip’s name and called him back. I slotted the phone
between my ear and shoulder as I began to pack up my belongings, and five
or so rings later, he answered.
“Hey, student fucker.”
I froze, soul-deep fear churning in my stomach until I gagged, nearly
upending the contents onto the table in front of me. “What?” My voice
sounded hollow and scared.
Phillip laughed. “I heard from Alexander you’re fucking someone his
age. A student at his college. Is she pretty?”
I choked, not quite sure how to answer him, but I didn’t need to because
if there was anything Phillip was good at, it was entertaining himself.
“Your son was pretty messed up about it, bro. I have to give it to you,
never expected you to fuck someone so young. She’s gotta be almost half
your age. Does she have nice tits?” He snickered. “Fuck. You’re living the
dream. I bet she’s got a tight pussy, too. Imagine what Candy’s reaction
would be. She married a man twenty years older, and you got a chick a lot
younger.”
My right hand shook and I grabbed it with my left. Straightening, I
swallowed around a tightness in my throat. “I. . . . Phillip, I don’t think—”
“Good for you. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
I didn’t, at least, I didn’t have it in me to tell him he was wrong, and the
student Alex was talking about was a man. And he’d pursued me. If I told
him, he would tell Dad, and I had no idea what Dad would do if he found
out.
“I have to go.” I grabbed my phone from between my shoulder and ear
and ended the call. Collapsing in the chair, I took quick, shallow breaths,
my chest constricting around my racing heart. I gagged and made a small
wailing sound in the back of my throat involuntarily, then dropped my head
onto the table. “Damn it.”
I sat there for a while before I was finally able to make myself move.
The urge to go in my room and lock the door took over, and I rose on shaky
knees, shoving the rest of my books in my messenger bag before I rushed
from the classroom.
I stalked down the hallway and out the front door, and I managed to get
halfway to my car before I saw him. I ducked as quickly as I could, hiding
behind the closest brick building, then pressed my back against the wall. It
felt stupid to hide from Yukio, but I couldn’t face him. Peeking around the
wall, I licked my dry lips as I searched for him, and finally my gaze landed
on him again.
He was with Milo and a couple of other men, and he looked. . . terrible.
Even from here, I could tell he didn’t look quite right, with his clothes a
fashion disaster and his hair a mess. He wasn’t wearing any rings on his
fingers, and while he smiled, there was something missing. He wasn’t the
Yukio I knew and cared for, yet I couldn’t help the jealousy that stirred
inside me when one of the men swung his arm around Yukio’s shoulders,
plopping a kiss on his cheek before laughing. Had Yukio moved on already?
The thought shattered my heart all over again.
“What are you doing?”
I jumped and bonked my head against the wall. Spinning around, I
huffed when I focused on Alex, who stood right behind me. “Nothing. I was
just. . . stretching.”
“Stretching?” Alex didn’t appear much better than Yukio, with the
bruises on his face turning yellow, but the one under his eye was darker
than ever. His eyelids appeared heavy, and he kept blinking as though he
was struggling to keep them open. “Stretching to see Yukio maybe?”
I flushed and coughed into my hand. “No.”
He sighed and brushed a hand through his brown curls. “Fuck. This is
fucked.”
 “I know.” I rubbed my chest and gave him a small, sad smile. “I’m
sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“Did he make you gay?” His question seemed out of left field, and I
stiffened.
After a moment, I shook my head. “No. No, he didn’t, Alex.” The
nickname slipped in so easily, but he didn’t stop me from saying it this time.
The grief in his eyes weighed heavily on him and me. “You’re old enough
that you should know no one can make someone gay. They are or aren’t.
I’ve always been gay. That’s why your mom and I divorced.” Shame
curdled in my stomach like old milk. “She caught me watching gay porn
and knew the truth. Why things had never been good between us. I had to
tell her.”
“But why?” He frowned. “Why did you marry her if you were gay?”
The answer was multilayered, but I didn’t want to discourage the
conversation. This was the first time in a long while that Alex was asking
me questions and having a real discussion with me. I missed this. Us. “Your
grandpa.”
He stared at me for a long second. “What did Gramps do?” He didn’t
sound surprised.
I glanced around to see if anyone was listening, but the area where we
stood was secluded and barely any students came this way. “Everything.
Anything.” I ran a hand down my cheek. “Alex, your grandpa. . . . He’s not
a nice man. I know you love him, but he’s mean. Real mean. I sent you
away to military school because I wanted you to be different from me. Your
grandpa always hated me, hated how I was, and he called me a lot of
horrible names.”
Alex’s eyes widened.
“The truth is that I believe I’m autistic, and your grandpa’s not the type
of man to accept that kind of difference. Candy, your mom, she always sent
you to his house so he could babysit you, but I didn’t want you near him.
But I didn’t want you near me, either. I wanted you to excel and be the
opposite of me. Better. Loved. Popular. Maybe like your uncle, Phillip.” I
cringed at how blunt my words sounded. “So, I sent you to military school
to both be away from your grandpa, but also to be somewhere you could
grow to be a man.”
“Unlike you?” He snorted and shook his head. “Fuck, Dad.”
“I know it sounds stupid—”
 “Yeah, it fucking does.” He threw his hands up in the air, and they came
back down to slap against his sides. “You don’t think I know what
Grandpa’s like? He’s a racist, homophobic, misogynist asshole, and he’s
always been that way. You didn’t. . . . Fuck. You didn’t tell me how horrible
he treated you.”
I blinked at him, not sure I understood. “Why would I? You’re my son
and you love him.”
He laughed, but it sounded pained. “I never loved that crazy old bastard.
Don’t you remember the last time I went to see him?”
I thought about it carefully. The last time I could recall had been during
the past summer. Alex had traveled to see his grandpa, who lived outside
New Gothenburg. “Last vacation?”
“Yeah. And we got into a fight. I told him I was gay, and he called
me. . . . Well, you know what he’s like. I punched the fucker.” He shrugged,
clearly undeterred by the information he’d given me. He grinned. “He
called Uncle Phillip on me, but Uncle Phillip already knew. He high-fived
me and took me home.”
“Wait. What? Phillip knew about you?” I pressed my back against the
wall, curling my arms around myself. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He dropped his head. “Because you don’t listen. You forgot I was on the
basketball team, Dad. You’re always in your own little world.”
I moved before I knew what I was doing and tugged him into a hug. He
tensed, then relaxed when I tightened my hold on him. “I’m sorry, Alex.
You’re right. I’m a horrible dad.”
He shook his head against my shoulder. “You’re not. I could’ve had a
lot worse, like Grandpa.” He sighed and hugged me back, and after we had
our little moment, we awkwardly parted and he gave me a small smile. “In
the past when I mentioned the word gay, you went on a rant about how
many people believe Alexander the Great and Hephaestion weren’t lovers.”
I opened my mouth to tell him what I thought about that but stopped
when I realized he was staring at me sharply, warning me not to get started
on my lecture about it. I simmered down. “Yes, I’m quite passionate about
that topic.”
He chuckled and shrugged. “Well, you know now.”
I did and in the most awful way. I groaned and scrubbed my face with
my hands. “You like Yukio. I didn’t realize or I wouldn’t have dated him.”
 His shoulders drooped. “Dad, he’s right. I was an asshole to him, like
Grandpa was to you. I really gave him hell. I was a bully.” He wrapped his
arms around his middle. “I thought. . . . Fuck, I don’t know what I thought.
Maybe I wanted his attention, but I did it the wrong way. He was just so
fucking cool, and I’m not. I’m boring.”
“You’re not,” I argued quickly. “You play basketball.”
He snorted. “Not anymore. I quit.”
I gaped. “Why?”
“Because I felt like shit.” He paled and rubbed the back of his neck.
“I’m as bad as Grandpa.”
“You’re not.” I stepped forward and grabbed his arms. “You’re not.”
“I am. Dad, listen.” He grasped my wrists and held them tightly. “Yukio
was right. I was a bastard, and I shouldn’t have been. I bullied him, and I
treated him like shit. He deserved revenge.”
I frowned. “Maybe you’re right, and he did deserve to get even, but
what did I do to him, Alex? Why did he drag me into it and make me like
him only to break my heart?”
“You didn’t deserve it.” He sighed. “He came to see me yesterday. I
think he’s wrecked about it, too. He might like you. For real.”
“I don’t care.” I clenched my teeth together and my foot began to
wriggle. Taking a breath, I released him and stepped back. “He still hurt my
feelings and used me.”
“Yeah. . . .” He smiled sadly. “Dad, I’m sorry for all this.”
I nodded, not sure what else to say. “Did you call your uncle about me?”
He winced. “Ah, no. He called me because Coach was up his ass about
me missing practice. Coach knows him and. . . . Yeah. And I told him the
truth.”
“Mostly,” I drawled, discomfort making me shift. “He thinks I have a
girlfriend.”
He straightened. “Shit. Really?”
I groaned as he began to chuckle.

That night, after avoiding Yukio the best I could and grabbing dinner from
Burger King, I got home to find flowers by my front door. As soon as my
gaze caught the blooms, I froze, nearly dropping the paper bag of food. I
stared at them, not quite sure what to do, but after a moment, I made my
legs move. I unlocked the house and went to put my food and drink on the
island before I came back out and picked up the roses.
In the bouquet were red and white roses, and purple heliotropes. The
spicy floral scent immediately teased my nose, and I leaned down to inhale
deeply. My heart fluttered, even though I told myself not to get excited.
Flowers weren’t enough for forgiveness. Yet, I still reached inside and
picked up the card.

Hanii,
I miss you. I’m sorry for everything that
happened. I would like the chance to explain
my side of the story. I bought you these
flowers for a reason. Did you know
Aphrodite’s favorites were roses? Of course
you did because that’s how amazing you are.
I read that Aphrodite was covered in white
roses by the waves when she was born.
According to the ancient Greeks, red roses
symbolize passionate love and heliotropes mean
eternal love, but I’m sure you know that, too.
I care deeply about you.
Call me anytime, day or night. I will
answer no matter what.
~Yukio

I let out a breath and thumbed the red rose petals carefully. Chewing on
my bottom lip, I stared out at the street, but there was no one there. I walked
inside and closed the door, not quite sure what to do with the flowers. I
should throw them out, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so instead I
grabbed a vase, added water, and slipped them inside.
I stared at the colorful arrangement for a long moment before I picked
up my phone. Unlocking the screen, I hesitated before I tapped on his name
in my messages. I stared for too long, but as much as my brain argued I
shouldn’t, I messaged him.
Micah: I don’t forgive you.

But I want to. . . .

I left that last bit out of the text. I hit Send.
A few moments later, when I was pulling out my burger from the paper
bag, he responded. I held my breath as I opened the message.
Yukio: Tell me what to do.

Nothing.
Everything.
Tears tickled the corners of my eyes, and I dropped the phone onto the
island, leaving him on Read. If he was truly sorry, then it would take more
than flowers. And I needed time to heal from not only the pain but the
embarrassment.
I chewed on my thumbnail as I eyed the phone, telling myself no every
time I thought about replying to him. He didn’t deserve a thing, and if he
wanted my forgiveness, he would have to work a lot harder than that. And if
he didn’t try, then he never wanted me in the first place.
The phone vibrated, and I inhaled sharply, excitement stirring in my
stomach as I picked up the phone again. As soon as I saw the name on it,
disappointment flooded me instead.
Flynn.
Sighing, I forced myself to sound happy as I answered. “Hello?”
“Hey, Micah. Listen, I know you and Yukio aren’t together anymore,
but would you like to come over for dinner and drinks tomorrow night? You
can meet Judge, and I might have some friends you’d like.”
The words were the worst I could hear right now, but I didn’t say that,
as much as I wanted to. Flynn had seen what happened at the police station,
and he’d messaged me the next day to see if I was okay. We’d become
friends, and I liked him.
“Sure.” I tried to smile, even though he couldn’t see me.
I don’t want another man. I want Yukio.

OceanofPDF.com
 15

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

M ilo leaned forward along the mirror - topped bar at the Z in , which
was a place we’d never been to before in our lives, but he was apparently
fully prepared to pretend he knew everything about wine, along with
Brisco, Jones, Davis, Cohen, and two guys who normally hung around with
Alexander—Kahn and Ward. The dudes from the team were spread out on
stools to my right along the bar, and between each guy sat a girl with a pink
sorority pin on the collar of her little black dress.
Tori played with the end of her blonde ponytail and kept giving me
smiles, and maybe she remembered me from when she was talking to
Micah and trying to get a grade changed temporarily. I smiled at her
because I wasn’t rude, but I wasn’t interested, either, so I made sure to stay
right next to Milo and only talk to him.
There wasn’t a chance in hell I wanted to give anyone the impression
that I was available.
“How long do I have to stay out?” I asked, rolling my eyes at Milo
when he glanced at me. I had to repeat myself because the jazz music
playing from speakers hidden in the corners of the room was too loud.
His shoulders shot back, and he did his impression of glaring—which
wasn’t very good. “You’re staying out as long as we do because we both
know you’re not going to study, and if you try to go hole up in your room
again, you’ll just be stinky and sad.”
Chuckling, I nodded.
The bartender brought me a draft and slid it in front of me, and I settled
in on my stool. He was cute with short brown hair and curvy pink lips, but
even if I’d been interested, I didn’t think he would be, based on the way his
gaze kept getting stuck on Tori’s tits. Ah, well, I could drink away my
boredom.
Everyone else was talking and having a good time, so I checked my
phone, restlessly tapping Micah’s name. No reply since yesterday, and that
message hadn’t exactly been helpful, but at least he’d talked to me.
“I’m going to take your phone if you keep staring at it that way,” Brisco
leaned forward to say. His shoulder-length blond hair fell in front of his
face, and then he brushed it behind his ears with a grin.
Tori turned toward him. “Oh, what happened?” She pouted in my
direction. “You look worried.”
“He’s fighting with his boyfriend,” Brisco said, ever so fucking
helpfully.
Her eyes widened and she let out a sad little sound. “Boyfriend? Do you
have girlfriends ever?”
“No, sorry,” I said with another friendly smile I wasn’t really feeling.
“Oh well.” She sighed and shook her head.
“I want a girlfriend,” Brisco said with a wide grin. “And I would be
lucky to have a girl like you.”
She giggled as if she thought he was kidding, so he would have to work
harder, but I gave him a thumbs-up that had Milo chuckling. I wasn’t really
sure how the guys from the team had ended up taking half a sorority out
tonight, but there were other girls, who had those same black dresses and
pins, at a couple of tables spread out around the place, and I wasn’t sure if
they were all here for moral support, to make sure the basketball team
behaved, or if they’d just wanted to go out drinking. I waved at them for
something to do, and they laughed and waved back.
A fresh wave of boredom struck, but every time I went to check my
phone, Milo glared at me, so I put it in my back pocket and left it there. I
stared at the paintings of scowling old guys that broke up the stained white
walls around the room. I was pretty sure they were writers, but I didn’t care
enough to walk around and read the tiny placards underneath the severe
faces. I was considering going to talk to a table full of the sorority girls, just
because I was sick of listening to Brisco bomb at convincing Tori to give
him a chance, when something in the mirror behind the bar caught my eye.
I sat up straight.
 A group of older guys walked in. That wasn’t the interesting part
because the entire bar was mostly full of a midthirties crowd. But Micah
trailed behind them, staring at his shoes while another man talked his ear
off.
I instantly disliked this guy, and I couldn’t say why. Maybe it was the
way he got one of Micah’s unhappy smiles—the ones he wore when dishes
of food exploded on the floor or he had cum in his hair. The stranger was
put together and attractive in a way that had me gritting my teeth. He had
on a gray suit jacket with a T-shirt and jeans, which might not mean
anything, but I felt like he was trying too hard with his clothes. His short
blond hair was peppered with gray, and his trimmed beard surrounded a
nice mouth that was smirking when it wasn’t moving a mile a minute.
And his gaze was all over Micah.
I knew in a heartbeat this guy was gay because he was looking at Micah
—I still considered him my boyfriend, despite the bullshit that had blown up
—like he wanted to ask him to go somewhere to fuck. I gripped the handle
of my beer mug, then downed what was left of it while I watched them find
a spot at the other end of the bar. Micah hadn’t noticed me yet because he
was too busy watching his feet, then his hands as he rested them on the bar.
My entire body tightened into an unpleasant cramp as the man laid his hand
lightly on Micah’s shoulder. Discomfort flashed across Micah’s face.
I didn’t realize I was on my feet until Milo snagged my elbow.
“No. Jesus, really? They had to pick this place to come to?” He glared
at Micah, and I elbowed him.
“I’m going over there.”
Milo grunted and didn’t let me go. “You’re still trying to win him over
after that fight?”
Wincing, I nodded.
“Then there is no way you should do that.”
My new mortal enemy slid his hand down Micah’s back, and Micah
finally shifted away. I didn’t know what he was saying to the guy, but the
man removed his hand, thankfully. I gestured in their direction and glared at
Milo, but he shook his head.
“No. You can’t. You already ended up in jail once over this guy. What
kind of friend would I be if I let you go start shit over him again?” Milo
glared, which he rarely did.
 “Why?” I growled out. “Ano kusoyarou. . . . Micah ni betabeta
sawariyagatte.”
“Okay, so I didn’t understand that second thing.”
“He’s touching Micah.”
“Well, he’s not now.” Milo squeezed my elbow.
I glared at the guy again, and Micah still hadn’t looked up and noticed
me.
Inspiration struck, and I motioned the bartender over.
“Refill?” he asked with a grin. He lazily tilted his head and gave Tori
another once-over. She noticed and waved her fingers at him, and he stood
taller.
“Yes. Also, can I send a tequila sunrise to that man down there? The one
with the curly hair? His name is Micah.”
The bartender laughed and drummed his hands on the bar. “Sure thing.”
Milo sighed and knocked his shoulder against me. “Is that a good idea?”
“Just hit on your sorority girls.” I glanced at the nearby table. “The
redhead over there likes you. She keeps staring at your ass.”
“Really?” He glanced over his shoulder and smiled, and I rolled my
eyes as the long-distance flirtation began.
I sat on my stool again and waited in anticipation as the bartender made
the drink, and I tried not to stare as he delivered it. I wanted to project the
image that I was calm and collected, even though I was falling apart on the
inside, wondering what he would do.
My heart sank as Micah said something to the bartender, who came
back to me with a small, amused smile and set the orange drink in front of
me. I slid the tequila sunrise in front of Milo, who slid it down to Tori, who
passed it to Brisco. He made a happy sound and started to drink it, and I
laughed, even though I felt like a piece had been cut out of my chest.
“So, he’s too mad at me to take it?” I asked.
The bartender shook his head. “He said he doesn’t drink alcohol.”
My insides jolted in excitement. This wasn’t over. “Well, can you make
him something nice that isn’t alcoholic?”
The bartender turned around and studied the bottles on the racks behind
him, then spun toward me. “How about a sparkling rose and elderflower
lemonade? No alcohol, unique, guaranteed to impress?” The man waggled
his eyebrows. “It usually works.”
“Do it!” I waved a hand at him. “There’s a huge tip in your future.”
 The bartender laughed, and I hummed when he was finished working,
then carried a tall glass full of fizzy, lavender liquid with a few rose petals
scattered on top down to Micah and put it in front of him. There was a small
back and forth, probably to confirm that it wasn’t alcoholic, and my heart
jerked happily when he took a sip and smiled, nodding at the bartender, who
then moved on to someone else.
The attractive guy I didn’t know—or care to meet—was glaring at me
now; although, he did it on the sly, flashing Micah that smirk whenever
Micah glanced in my new enemy’s direction.
“Oh, okay, that was good,” Milo said as Micah shot me a long look. He
was ignoring the motormouth who kept talking nonstop. Our gazes
connected, and it was like I touched a live wire. All I could see was him.
My entire body felt as if it was awake for the first time since he’d left me on
the sidewalk in front of the police station.
I was being pulled by an invisible string as I got up and took a deep
breath. “I’m going over,” I murmured to Milo.
“Okay, but don’t push it. You two had a bad fight.” He slapped my
shoulder.
I grunted. Milo was probably right. Taking a deep breath, I walked over
to Micah and slid in at his side.
“And that’s what I do for the school. I keep the entire network running,
and who might you be? That’s a lot of jewelry, isn’t it? Why do you have
the word burn tattooed on your neck?” My new nemesis blinked at me, his
brown eyes bright with curiosity.
“Excuse me,” I said to him, then turned to Micah. “Would you like to
spend a few minutes getting to know me? I saw you when you came in, and
I couldn’t imagine spending the night talking to anyone else.” I laid on the
charm thick, giving him my best smile.
Pink spread across Micah’s cheeks as the stranger looked him over, and
a couple of his friends—one I recognized from the police station—leaned
around to see what was going on. I half expected him to say no—I braced
for it—but after another sip of his drink, he glanced at me from the corner
of his eye.
“All right. You have my attention.”
A frantic sensation blasted through my chest. I glanced around the room
and spotted an open table. “Would you like to go over there?” I asked,
pointing.
 He nodded, and I tried to remember how to breathe as we walked
together, our arms brushing, then each took a seat on the opposite side of
the table. He stared at me with eyes full of pain and betrayal and a thousand
other things that I fucking hated, so I went to his side and sat there. He
laughed and stared down into the bubbles popping in his drink as if it was a
crystal ball that would tell him what to do.
I leaned in to kiss him, but he put his hand in front of his mouth. I
pressed my lips to his fingertips, though, and he sagged toward me like he
wished we were touching from head to toe. All I wanted was to be with
him, and I had to hope he felt the same way.
He cleared his throat as I sat back. “My acceptance of flowers and one
drink doesn’t equal forgiveness. What you tried to do was beyond awful.”
My stomach dropped and I nodded. “I know. I’m not proud of it.”
“Alex told me he was in the wrong.” Micah sent me a long look, but I
couldn’t decide what he was thinking.
“I’m sorry that you got caught up in that, but I’m not sorry I met you.”
A small smile tugged at his lips, and I wanted to touch him so badly that
I had to curl my hand into a fist on my thigh to stop myself from doing it.
“We don’t even know each other. You didn’t know I don’t drink alcohol.”
He shot me a tiny, almost scared glance.
“I do now, though. And trust me, I’ll remember. I want to get to know
you. We’ve been learning about each other all along. I remember a lot of
things you enjoy.”
Another cute blush spread across his cheeks, and all I wanted to do was
kiss him, but I didn’t want to push when he’d asked me to be patient.
“Are you okay being here with that guy?” I asked, glaring back at the
bar.
“I’m not here with him,” he said, and the seriousness in his tone had me
staring directly into his gray eyes. “I came out with friends. Flynn invited
me to dinner at his house, and he got the idea into his head that maybe me
meeting someone else would be nice. But I’m not interested.” His knee
brushed against mine.
I nudged him back as my heart pounded triple time.
“Thank you for asking about my well-being,” he murmured.
Well, now it was time for the hard part. We had to hash this bullshit out
or we’d never move forward. I sipped my beer, then slid it out to the middle
of the table. “I’m sorry that I ever considered hurting you when I didn’t
know you. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
His hands tightened around his glass and he froze. “How many people
have you told?”
“Told what? That we’re together?”
He nodded once.
“Milo. I don’t know. I told the guys at the house that I fucked up with
the man I like, and I want to fix things. Milo gave me a kick in the ass I
needed.” I shrugged. “So, my friends?”
“Really? You never told anyone to get back at Alex?” He studied my
face, clearly searching for any hint of a lie.
My stomach disappeared and I wished I hadn’t drunk a beer already.
“No. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I promise.” I settled my hand on
the curve of his waist, my favorite spot to grip him, and gave him a small
squeeze. “I want to tell everyone who knows me because I want to be with
you, not hide you. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or upset.”
Micah slid his hand to mine, gave it a tiny squeeze, then lifted it to the
table. He looked like he wanted me to kiss him and fuck him, and my dick
twitched as his scent, something fresh and crisp I’d never pinned down,
drifted into my nose.
“How do I earn your trust again? I wanted to talk to you about
Alexander before all that shit just erupted, but I couldn’t think of a good
way to do it. I never meant to be a fucker. I. . . care about you.”
He shivered all over like a dog stepping in from the rain, then shot me a
glare out of the corner of his eye that made my blood heat. It was the kind
of thing that was asking me to throw him down and make his body mine.
“I’m not sure, but I want you to figure it out.”
Nodding, I pried his right hand off his glass, then kissed the heel of his
palm while I watched his eyes for a reaction. His lips parted and his breath
hitched. “I’ll work on that. Can you do me a favor?”
“Hm?” He blinked at me and it was cute. He wriggled around on his
seat, and my dick surged until I was dealing with more than a semi. I knew
that little impatient twist of his hips. I wanted to help him with the problem
he had in his pants.
“Tell that asshole—” I turned to point and wasn’t surprised to find the
guy watching us. “—that you have a boyfriend.”
 Micah’s eyebrows climbed and he lifted his drink, sipping it. When he
set the glass down, he swiped the rose petal that had gotten stuck to the rim.
I sat very still as he ran the petal across my lips, and then I opened my
mouth and chomped it. He laughed while I ate the petal, and while I was
sure it must be edible, it wasn’t the best thing in the world.
“But I don’t right now,” he said, almost quietly enough to get lost under
the music and conversations going on around us.
I turned his hand over and kissed across his knuckles. “Tell him to fuck
off.”
“Hm. That’s rude,” he said, but the corner of his mouth kicked up in a
smile.
Leaning forward, I took my life into my own hands. Micah didn’t back
away, and I turned my head until my lips brushed his ear. “Tell him you’re
mine.” I sat back.
He swallowed so hard his Adam’s apple bobbed. His tongue swiped
across his bottom lip. With another shy smile, he picked up his drink and
slid out of his chair. It drove me crazy as he nibbled on his bottom lip while
heading back toward the bar.
Who knew what Micah actually said to the guy, but about a minute after
he sat down again, the man moved to the other side of their friends and
started talking to someone else. Micah kept peeking at me in between
talking to the man who had met us at the police station. I made my way
back to Milo and slid onto my stool.
“How did it go? Did the flowers work?” he asked me with a bright
smile.
I laughed. “He’s talking to me. Sort of. Does that count? I think I need
to date him. Actually get to know him. You know, be serious.” I tapped my
mug on the bar and the loud tink of glass on glass made me stop.
Milo grinned. “That’s what you wanted, right?”
Relief washed through me and I almost felt like crying as I nodded.
“Cheers!” Milo said, holding up his glass. I clinked my beer with his as
a hope I’d been too scared to acknowledge blossomed in my chest. Micah
snuck another little look at me, and I blew him a kiss. He turned away
quickly, but I could see his smile in the mirror behind the bar, and that was
enough for now.
I never wanted him to feel bad because of me again, and I would work
to find a way to make him trust me. He was worth it.
OceanofPDF.com
 16

OceanofPDF.com
 MICAH

T hree days later , Y ukio left another gift on my doorstep . On the

outside of the wrapped present was a simple card.

Hanii,
Call me anytime, day or night. I will
answer.
~Yukio

I held my breath as I tore at the rose-colored paper and my gaze landed

on four books inside. Three were about the ancient history of Japan, and my
mouth curled into a smile before I could stop myself. Oddly enough, the last
book was much more modern—Yakuza: Japan’s Criminal Underworld by
David E. Kaplan and Alec Dubro. I glanced around the street, but he wasn’t
there.
No one was.
Once again, he’d dropped a gift and run, and I didn’t mind because it
gave me time to consider how long it would take to forgive him.
With Alex no longer angry at me, we’d spent last night having dinner
together, but he hadn’t mentioned Yukio and neither did I. We discussed his
sexuality and mine, and we had a conversation about my dad and what had
happened last summer. It was great to hear the story of the way he’d laid a
fist into Dad’s cheek, and I’d never been prouder of Alex than when he told
me what he’d done. He had more courage than I did. I didn’t believe
fighting was acceptable—except in this circumstance.
I thumbed the top book carefully. The cover was older, like something
he’d found in a secondhand store or maybe a book from his family’s
shelves. The second and third were the same, and I was scared to touch
them in case they fell apart. I carefully took the books inside and sat down
at the table to begin reading, even though I had a lot of papers to grade.
I was about ten pages into the first book when I came across another
card with his writing on it.

My full name is Yukio Sota Hinode and

my birthday is December 5th. It isn’t common
for Japanese people to have a middle name, but
my mom was born and raised in the US, and
she liked the idea of it because she doesn’t
have one. My dad was born in Japan and met
Mom when he started traveling here for work.
He never understood middle names, but he
loves her so much he does whatever she wants.

I’d told Yukio that we knew little about each other. Was this how he was
changing that? I grinned at the thought and kept reading the book. The next
message I came to was about fifteen pages into it.

I love basketball and singing, which you

already know. What you probably don’t know is
that I was in a little league hockey team and
I was the center. My coach wanted me to keep
playing, but I didn’t like it as much as

t t t
 basketball, so I quit when I was twelve. I
also play baseball, so February, March, and
sometimes April are crazy for me because the
seasons overlap. I hit the tennis court for fun.

I cocked my head, surprised, though I wasn’t sure why. He seemed to

enjoy sports a lot. I never really understood it, but I could see him
explaining the rules to me so I could watch him play basketball without
being confused.
I still hadn’t forgiven him, at least, that was what I told myself.
Instead of reading the text, I started flipping through the book to find
tidbits of information about Yukio. I learned more about his childhood and
what he enjoyed and didn’t about all sorts of things—Lays Barbecue chips,
and I absolutely hate Classic—and what I saw made me smile more every
time I picked up another note.
Finally, I got to the last message in the first book and this one made me
blush.

I think about you when I jerk off. I

imagine you on your knees for me, opening
your sweet mouth while I feed you my dick.
Then, I fantasize about you on your hands
and knees. The first thing I’ll do is eat you
out. I’ll stick my tongue so far in your ass
I’ll wonder if I can reach your prostate.

I took a moment to exhale, excitement stirring in my groin. My cock

twitched and I palmed myself as I continued to read.

t t
 Then, after I’m sure you’re completely
exhausted from the pleasure, I’ll shove my
dick inside you and fuck you all night. I’ll
fuck you so hard that you’ll feel the shape of
my dick for a month. I want you so bad that
I’m hard now just thinking about that tight
little hole of yours and how hungry it is for
me.

I let out a shuddery breath and a shiver racked my body. I stared at the
note clutched tightly between my fingers and I stood on shaky knees,
dropping it back onto the book. My cock throbbed, and what had started off
as a small jerk was now as hard as a breastplate that the Greek soldiers used
in battle. Or maybe it was more concise to say it was sharp as a sword, and
when I did forgive Yukio, I would like to cross weapons with him.
Licking my dry lips, I shut the heavy book and stumbled backward
before turning and heading toward my bedroom. My cock bumped my thigh
with every step, and I regretted not wearing tighter underwear today. An
explosion of need assailed me and nearly made me trip, and I rushed to my
knees so I could reach under my bed and drag out my box of toys.
I shoved open the lid and yanked out my favorite dildo. Bright purple in
color, it was the closest I had that reminded me of Yukio’s shape and size. I
wanted to imagine it was him inside me. Tearing off my clothes as quickly
as I could, my heart raced and stomach churned in excited tension. I threw
my phone on the nightstand. My cock was so hard it was ready to burst and
I hadn’t touched it yet.
Jumping on the bed, my now free hard-on bounced with the movement.
I settled onto the mattress and reached over to grab the lube out of the
nightstand. I flipped open the lid. The scent of bubblegum blasted my nose.
Yukio had left this here. I poured some out on the tip of the dildo, spreading
it across the silicone to get it slick, before I used the excess on my hand to
slowly jerk off my cock until my balls were ready to explode.
 Every muscle in my body was tight with tension. My toes curled, and I
closed my eyes for a moment to gather myself so I wouldn’t come before I
got the toy inside me. All I could think about was Yukio and the way he
smiled before he pounded into me like a man with nothing to lose. His
confident attitude was as sexy as the rest of him, and I missed the way he
controlled me.
I missed Yukio.
I spread my legs and lifted my knees, and while I hated how awkward it
was, I pushed the dildo gently inside my hole. The toy spread me, and I
closed my eyes, focusing on the wonderful sensations that fired off through
me. It wasn’t Yukio fucking me, but I could pretend.
I managed to get the dildo all the way in and slowly twisted, opening
myself wider. I moaned, my cock jerking as I hit my prostate with the
action. Wrapping a hand around my hard-on, I slowly pulled at my sensitive
length, flirting with my orgasm while also staving it off.
I thought about Yukio and what he would do. He would smile down at
me, mouth wet from kissing and expression focused. He often reminded me
of a starving man, hungry for what I had to offer. But what would he do
next?
A sharp sound echoed from the nightstand, and I groaned, cursing the
fact that I hadn’t turned my phone to silent or kept it in the other room. I
glanced at it, distracted from what I was doing, and my breath caught as
Yukio’s name and face flashed on the screen.
Did he know? Of course not. He couldn’t.
Hesitantly, I reached over and grabbed the phone, ignoring the fact that
my hand was wet from the lube I’d used on my cock. I answered.
“Hello?” My voice shook.
“Hey. You actually took my call.”
“Yes.” The dildo shifted in my ass, and I sucked in a breath, hissing at
the pressure against my prostate.
“Are you okay?” he asked seriously. “You sound like you’re in pain. Do
you need help?”
I laughed, though I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because I was close
to orgasming and delirious. It’d been too long since I’d had a good jerk off
session. I hadn’t needed to when Yukio shared my bed, and after our fight, I
didn’t feel like doing it. “If this sounds like pain to you, did you ever
wonder if I was hurt when you were fucking me?”
 It took him a few seconds to connect the dots. “You’re jerking off.” It
wasn’t a question. Even though I couldn’t see him, I heard the smug grin in
his voice. “Did you find my notes?”
“I might have.” I tugged out the toy and shoved it back in, pegging my
prostate directly. A long moan slipped from my mouth.
“Are you thinking about me?” he whispered, voice going deeper. “Are
you imagining it’s me inside you, Hanii?” He said something else in
Japanese, and even though I couldn’t understand the words, his deep voice
was one of the sexiest things I’d ever heard in my life—and had been since
the first time he’d spoken to me.
I trembled and stuck the phone between my ear and shoulder, then used
my hand to stroke my cock again. “Yes. The toy I have is about your size.”
“Yeah? Fuck.” The sound of a door closing on his end of the line had
me grinning widely. He cursed some more and a thonk told me he’d
dropped his phone. He picked it up again. “Sorry.” The shrppp of a zipper
signaled he was getting undressed.
“Are you going to jerk off with me?” I teased, not quite sure of myself
but growing more confident.
“Fuck yeah. Already imagining my dick inside you. I bet you feel so
tight, Hanii. Warm, too.” The bed on his end squeaked, and he huffed. More
noises, and then his breaths deepened. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.
Tell me what you want me to do to you, baby. I’ll make all your dreams
come true.”
What felt like a million ideas slammed into my mind, and I whimpered
as each one seemed better than the last. I rotated the dildo in my hole again,
and the tip of the head brushed against my prostate, making my cock jerk
and my spine stiffen. I was so close that it hurt, but I didn’t want to come
yet, not while Yukio had only just gotten started.
“I want your face between my asscheeks.” I gasped when the words fell
from my lips, then moaned. I’d never given a lot of thought to a rim job
before, but since his last note, it was all I could think about. “You promised
me.”
“Fuck yeah, I did. And baby, it’s gonna rock your world.” He grunted
and the sound of skin slapping skin met my ear through the phone. “Fuck.
Tell me what else you need.”
“You.” I slipped my hand down to cup my balls and tug them. “I want
you, Yukio. On me. In me. All the time.”
 “Fuck.” He exhaled noisily. “I’m so close already.”
“But I haven’t forgiven you.” I moaned in both frustration and pleasure.
“I can’t.”
“I know, Hanii. I’m sorry.” He huffed and panted. “How does it feel to
have that toy inside you?”
“Good. So good.” I nudged the dildo against my prostate again and
threw my head back. My hand shot to my cock and I jerked off as fast as I
could. “I want to come so bad. Please?”
“Please what?” His whisper turned guttural. “What do you want, baby?
Tell me.”
“Let me come?” I didn’t know why I was asking for permission, but I
was, and the groan of appreciation I got made it all worth it. I didn’t care
that I was still angry at him or I hadn’t forgiven him, I just wanted him to
give me orders. Be dominant. Be mine.
“Mm.” He grunted some more and cursed, and the sound of his hand on
his cock got rougher. “Come for me, Hanii. Show me how much you want
me inside you. Shoot your load.”
I stiffened and my senses heightened. The world spun, and as if waiting
for that sole command, my orgasm punched through me hard. My balls
drew closer to my body and my hole squeezed around the toy. I arched off
the bed, yelling as my cock jerked and cum shot from my slit, splattering
across my abs, some reaching as high as my chin.
I trembled through my release, moaning and whimpering out Yukio’s
name, and through my haze of bliss, I heard him grunt a few more times
before he came, too, cursing over and over again under his breath.
I sighed, slumping onto my bed as I recovered. I reached down to tug
out my toy and threw it beside me. I would wash it later when I got some
energy back.
“How was that?” Yukio finally asked after he’d regained his senses.
I smiled even though he couldn’t see me. “Good. I needed that.”
“Me too.” He exhaled. “You haven’t. . . with anyone else right?”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. I was too tired to move, which was really
nice because even my brain had shut down from my intrusive thoughts for a
while. “I told you the other night that I wasn’t interested. And if I did have
another man, why would I be using my dildo?”
“That’s true.” His breathing evened out, and for a moment, I was afraid
he’d fallen asleep, but after a few minutes of comfortable silence, he
cleared his throat. “Did you like the books?”
I hummed, my eyes burning with fatigue. Since the incident at the
police station, I’d kept busy. Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. It was a pattern I
could live with, and it kept my mind occupied so I didn’t have to think
about Yukio. Now the long hours at the college caught up to me, and even
though I had slept, the time hadn’t been restful. I’d had a lot of nightmares
that involved everyone laughing at me, and I’d woken up every morning
feeling worse than I had the night before.
Tonight. . . I could sleep without issues.
“I only looked through the first one,” I murmured with a sigh. “I really
like it. I’ve never studied much about ancient Japanese history. It wasn’t my
major focus. What I know mainly has to do with the trade lines of the
ancient empires.”
“Is it something you could be interested in?” His tone took on a soft lull,
and I thought he was tired, too.
“I’m definitely interested in it.” I stared up at the fan on the ceiling as it
circled slowly. I must have left it on this morning before I went to work.
“Yukio, if I give you another chance, you need to promise me never to do
anything like this again.”
“I promise. I fucked up. I acted childish and I’m sorry.” He made a
pained sound. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you because I
never meant to hurt you. I thought. . . . Well, I don’t know what I thought. I
didn’t think about anything except myself at the beginning, and I regret that.
I was an asshole.”
“I agree.” Tears tickled the corners of my eyes and one slid down my
face and onto the bed. “But you can be my asshole. There are terms,
though.”
“You name them,” he said quickly. “And I’ll do everything in my power
to make them happen.”
I rubbed my chest while my heart gave a tug. My shoulders jolted
involuntarily as excitement surged through me at the thought of being with
him again. “No more fighting with Alex. He’s my son and I love him. And
I. . . . Well, I like you. I don’t know how you’ll make it work with him, but
please try to be friendly. I want you both in my life. We need to figure
something out.”
“Done. I’m not sure how easy it’ll be to talk to him, but I’ll try to make
it work. I promise.” The determination in his voice made me smile.
 “Good. I’m not sure how to do this.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “My
birthday’s the seventeenth of December, by the way.”
“Ahh. Nearly a Christmas baby. You had it worse than me.”
I laughed and pressed the phone closer to my ear. I was sticky and
sweaty, but I didn’t care right now. “Yeah. It was horrible trying to have a
birthday party. The friends I did have went away for the holidays.”
“Tell me more. I want to know everything I can about you.”
I finally made myself move even though I didn’t want to. Grabbing the
dirty toy, I shifted off the bed and rose, taking it with me to the bathroom. I
threw it in the sink and grabbed some toy cleaner out of the medicine
cabinet. “Like what?”
“What’s your favorite food?” He chuckled.
“Pizza.” I shrugged, not ashamed. With the phone pressed between my
shoulder and ear again, I began to wash the dildo. “Pepperoni.”
“So, you love meat.” His laughter doubled, and I snorted at his bad joke.
“Are you one of those people who believe pineapple belongs on pizza?”
“Absolutely not.” I scrunched my nose up at the thought. “That’s
disgusting.”
“Okay, what’s your favorite Greek god or goddess?” He sounded smug
and he had a right to be. That was a difficult question and he knew it. I’d
told him before that I couldn’t choose who I liked more.
I sighed. “You know that answer.”
“Try.”
I groaned and braced myself with one hand on the sink. I stared in the
mirror. My curls were a tangled mess, but my eyes were brighter than
they’d been since the fight with Yukio. I looked more human. “Never. I will
never choose.”
“Micah Carrington, you choose right now.”
I chuckled and lines crinkled around my eyes and mouth in a way I
hadn’t seen in a long time. “Fine. Zeus.”
“That horny bastard?”
I laughed harder. After I’d calmed down, I wiped tears from my eyes,
but this time they were from happiness, not sadness. “If you want to start
making it up to me, then you could come over tomorrow night. Have dinner
with me?”
“Fuck yeah. Name the time, and I’ll be there, Hanii.”
 I shook my head, but my grin widened. Maybe it would be okay in the
end.

OceanofPDF.com
 17

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

D uring the next few weeks , we took things slow .

I wanted to rush back into being Micah’s boyfriend because I missed
him, but I knew I couldn’t. We did the right things. Micah went to work,
and I didn’t skip any classes or practices. It was clear that Micah needed
time to forgive me at his own pace, and I wanted to show him I respected
him, so I did my best not to push too hard. A couple of times a week, after
we’d said goodbye, I would go home and call him, and we would get off
with each other’s voices on the other end of the line—but in person, I was
careful to let him set the pace.
Midway through November I went over to his house to have dinner with
him and study while he worked, and he chose to sit on the floor in front of
the couch with his laptop on the coffee table. I held my breath for a long
time until he pressed his shoulder against my knee. It had been so long
since he’d reached out for me that I nearly did a victory dance while
passing out in relief. I’d never been so worried about what someone else
thought of me. I slid my fingers into his hair and truly appreciated the
warmth of his body as a shock of delight shivered through me.
Later that night, he’d given me one sweet kiss, and it had almost been
better than sex.
Almost.
I was hungry for Micah.
Thanksgiving came and went, and I stayed in New Gothenburg rather
than flying home for the holiday because I wanted to give Micah my full
attention and fix this relationship. He invited me to dinner with Alexander,
and we were able to be civil—I couldn’t quite say friendly—for a full hour
for Micah’s sake. We’d both decided he was worth more than our pissing
contest.
And everything finally felt good again.
We weren’t having awkward moments.
It seemed like he trusted me, and I was feeling the same way about him.
But we hadn’t had sex together again yet, maybe because that required
something deeper than forgiveness—I wasn’t sure.
Today, I must’ve finally proven myself, though. I licked a long line up
Micah’s neck. I was fucking over the moon about it as I panted with my
dick straining against my basketball shorts while I pressed my body against
his. I pushed him back, and he braced himself against the kitchen counter.
“This is the worst timing,” I said, then slammed my mouth over his so I
could devour him. I had no idea what he’d been nibbling on before I got to
his house, but he tasted sweet, maybe like peaches, and I sucked on his
tongue to try to get more of the delicious flavor. My shorts slid easily over
his jeans, and pleasure so good it was almost bad sliced through my gut as I
roughly ground my hard-on against his. He slid down a little, and we
moaned together as his legs cradled me perfectly, and I swiveled my hips.
“You are going to be late for your game,” Micah murmured as I pulled
back to kiss along his jaw.
“No.”
He chuckled and gave me a squeeze. “Yes.”
With a hum, I reached my destination and sucked on his earlobe. He
gasped and bucked against me, and I leaned all my weight on him. He slid
his hands down to my ass and gripped me hard, and I rocked there, feeling
the tension take hold of his muscles while he gasped and writhed on the
spot.
“Fuck,” I whispered. “So good.”
He leaned back far enough to pout. “I want a good seat to see you play.”
Gripping the back of his neck, I smirked. “You have front row tickets
for the best performance I give. They’re limited supply. You’re the only one
who gets to buy them.”
His head fell back as he chuckled, and I took advantage, sucking hard
on his neck above the collar of his shirt. His laughter died and he rocked
faster with me. Everything about this was like a song that twisted in my
skull. It was romantic and passionate and had a steady beat that invited us to
fuck.
When he made eye contact with me, I bared my teeth at him, then sank
them lightly in right above his collar. He yelled and trembled.
“Please, please, Yukio.”
Fuck, I loved it. He’d started begging me every time he was ready to
release, and I craved the sound. He would try his best to hold on when his
voice was breathy in my ear. “Wait for me,” I whispered.
He nodded and his face twisted in a pleasurable pain. I stared into his
gray eyes when they fluttered open, then sucked on his bottom lip.
“Okay, Hanii. Do it. Come for me.” I rubbed harder against him,
chasing down my own high, and it was so beautiful when he held me tight
and whined in my ear. I could feel his dick jerking against mine, swelling
and pulsing—that was it. Electricity ripped through me, stealing my breath
and my desire to do anything except live and die with my lips connected to
his.
We stood there breathing roughly together while cum cooled in my
boxers, but I didn’t give a shit. I didn’t want to move an inch away from
him. I carefully kissed him, teasing another small whimper from his mouth.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, then kissed the piercing in my
right eyebrow. I liked that he’d gotten more comfortable with me. He
wouldn’t have done that a few weeks ago.
“I want to be in you tonight,” I said, even though I’d promised myself I
would let him set the pace, but he always looked at me, waiting for me to
make the bigger decisions in our relationship, and I had to find out if he was
ready for this sooner or later. “I want to come back here, fuck you in your
bed about seven or eight times, then go to sleep with your arms around me.”
He blinked at me and the smile that tugged on his lips was such a relief
I had to kiss him again.
“Please,” he whispered. “I want the same thing. I miss you at night.”
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “I won’t ever do anything to make you
sorry you gave me a second chance.”
He knocked his forehead against mine, and I stared in his eyes way too
close until he chuckled.
“How much do you want it?” I asked.
He shuddered against me, and pure energy surged through me. I
squeezed Micah, then slid my hands down to his belt, and he laughed,
covering mine with his.
“Your game against the St. Loren Gators is going to start soon. And I do
think Milo would blame me directly if the team lost and you weren’t on the
court.” There was a twinkle in his eyes, and while he was probably joking,
he didn’t know how right he was.
“Fuck,” I said, dragging the word out.
He snickered.
“Okay. Fine.” I backed off, but I kissed him again to make up for it.
“Let’s change our underwear,” he said, cutting a skittish glance toward
his bedroom.
Laughing, I shook my head. “I can’t. If I go near your bedroom, do you
know what I’ll do?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
He shrugged.
“Oh, I think you can guess.” I slid my hand down and gripped his
crotch. I gave the semi that was still there a tiny squeeze, and he bit the
corner of his mouth.
Laughing, I pecked his lips again. “I have to run. I can live with sticky
boxers, but if I actually miss the start of the game, Coach will murder me.
Change so you’re comfortable. I’ll have Milo’s mom save you a seat,” I
said, dragging my phone out of my pocket to text her. On my way out I
grabbed my hoodie from the chair at the breakfast bar I’d flung it over
because it was getting cold outside.
“She was nice last time,” Micah called from inside his bedroom. He’d
left the door open, and I took a step in that direction as I slid on my hoodie.
No, I couldn’t. I kept telling myself I had to leave, but somehow, I found
myself in the doorway of his bedroom instead. He glanced up at me in
surprise as he tugged his jeans back up. I crooked a finger at him, and he
walked toward me. He bent his head, and I wrapped my hand around the
back of his neck, dragging him toward me. I kissed him and wanted nothing
more than to toss him on the blue blankets covering his bed so I could mess
them up.
He pushed me back. “You have to go.”
“But I wanna stay.”
He gave me a tiny shove, but there was still a cute smile on his face that
had my heart pounding hard.
“Be careful driving,” I said to him, and I had no idea why those words
came out of my mouth, but I meant them, so I didn’t take them back. I ran
for my car. By the time I got to school I was swearing under my breath
because it seemed like every spot in the lot was full, and I ended up having
to park far out and run all the way to the basketball court. I was sweating
and breathing hard as I made it to Milo’s side next to the home bench.
“Hey!” he said with a wide grin. He slapped my back. “Mom said you
asked her to save a seat for Micah.” He gave me a hopeful expression.
“Yep!” I smirked and stripped off my hoodie, then flung it on the bench.
Coach came storming over to us and whacked his clipboard on his
thigh. “What the fuck? Cutting it late, aren’t you, Hinode?”
“I ran in.” I jogged in place and winked at him. “I’m warmed up.”
“You better be. Milo, I want you on point. Yukio, take the number two
spot at his side. If you’re shooting guard, you better own it.”
I nodded quickly.
Coach huffed, but he zeroed in on the ref and went off to harass him
about something instead of continuing to chew me out. After all, I’d made
it.
Milo and I gave each other low-key high fives as the pregame activities
revved up. After the players were announced, we went out onto the court. I
scanned the crowd and was relieved to see Micah squeeze in next to Milo’s
mom. She was an older woman with graying hair and the same wide smile
he had, and she patted Micah’s shoulder and waved her other hand while
she talked. I loved her because not only was she a basketball fanatic, she
didn’t seem to get on Micah’s nerves like a lot of people did. She noticed
me looking and waved, then Micah did, and I blew a kiss in their direction,
and they both laughed.
I was busy making goo-goo eyes at Micah and the tipoff took me by
surprise. I was shocked when I suddenly had the ball in my hands, but
thankfully Coach’s endless training kicked in and I raced toward the
opposite net. I scored the first two points of the game without much effort
and felt pretty good about myself as I flashed a smile toward Micah.
“If you don’t stop showing off for your boyfriend, you’re going to sink
us!” Brisco said as he ran past me, and I figured he was right, so I got my
head in the game. The St. Loren Gators hadn’t come to play basketball,
they’d come for a slaughter, and I found that out fast as they quickly scored
on us.
The game was brutal. I had sweat running down my back by halftime,
and we were only ahead by two points. We were all winded, and the other
team didn’t look like they were ready to let up anytime soon. We’d pretty
much walked through our opponents so far this season, and everyone was
looking tired when Coach came over to glare at us where we were gathered
around the bench guzzling Gatorade—which I was feeling pretty bitter
about as I glared at the Gators.
“Okay, we’re switching everyone out.”
The entire team yelled, with some of the guys looking happy and some
of them clearly confused. It was almost unheard of to switch everyone at
the same time, but that didn’t seem to be stopping Coach tonight. He was on
a roll.
“You’re all fucking wasted already. No one takes the running seriously.
Now do you understand why I push it?” Coach yelled, and even the men on
the other team straightened up as his tone carried. I glanced at Milo and the
other guys who had started the game, nodding because what he said was
true. We were all spent.
“Okay, Coach,” I said, smiling at him. “We’re a team. Put the other guys
in.”
“Damned right,” he muttered, but then he tapped the guys to replace us,
and that left me pacing the sidelines for the rest of the game. I caught my
second wind, but Coach wasn’t thinking about pulling anyone to let us back
in. He was too busy trying to keep track of our guys pounding the court
from one side to the other.
In the end, Cohen lost the ball that became the game winning score for
the St. Loren Gators, and he looked like he wanted to lie down on the floor
and die rather than come back to the bench. 72-70, the game went to the
Gators, and it sucked big time.
“They’re going to take it all this year if we don’t shape up,” Coach said
quietly as he came to stare at us in abject disappointment. “I thought you
were all in better shape than this.” He shook his head.
“We’ll train harder, Coach,” Milo said, looking truly upset, even though
we’d barely lost and it had been a vicious game. I snorted, and he elbowed
me hard.
“Did you mean I’ll blow you, Coach?” I whispered in his ear, just to be
a fucker, and this time Milo did sink his elbow hard into my gut. I gasped
and laughed, while he glared at me, and Coach ignored our antics in favor
of going over to shake the hand of the other team’s coach while loudly
telling him what great shape his team was in.
 My mood was sour for about thirty seconds, then Micah walked down
the stairs from the bleachers to the court, and I caught sight of him. The
world was nothing but sunshine. I grinned at him and ran to his side. I was
surprised when Micah gave me a hug because he wasn’t the world’s biggest
fan of sweat.
“I’m sorry you lost,” he said, sounding so sincere that I had to laugh.
“Oh, I’m always a winner.” I knocked my hip against his.
Micah tilted his head and had the cutest confused expression I’d ever
seen. “What do you mean?”
“I have you.” I leaned up and touched my lips to his ear. “I love you and
that makes anything better.”
He blinked at me like a baby owl.
I cleared my throat and was surprised because I’d said that out loud, but
I’d been feeling it hard. After losing Micah for a while, I was well aware
that any time I had with him was special, and I’d never been a coward. If I
wanted a tattoo or piercing, I got it. If I wanted to try a sport, I did it. I put
myself out there with new song lyrics. Do or die in the line of fire. Why
should this be any different? Of course, I’d never felt like I was drowning
while waiting to see if a crowd loved a new song I’d written.
He mumbled something and a pink blush I loved spread across his
cheeks.
“What?” I asked, putting a hand behind my ear.
He stepped closer, bumping his front against mine. “I love you, too.”
“Hey!” Milo shouted, and we both jumped. I glared as I turned to find
him standing way too close to us.
“Yes?” I tried to mouth go away at him, but he ignored me and smiled
wider.
“Are you two meeting us for food and drinks? My mom wants to
know,” Milo said, pointing back toward the bleachers.
“Sure,” Micah said immediately.
I glared at Milo and wished I could set him on fire.
He wandered away with a wink, heading directly toward Coach.
I snorted, then turned toward Micah. “Traitor. I thought we were going
to go home and lock the door.” I kissed his chin to let him know I wasn’t
really irritated because sometimes he didn’t pick up on what I meant if I
was saying something sarcastic.
He puffed up his cheeks. “Your unit needs you.”
 I groaned. “This isn’t Sparta. We can suffer defeat on our own.”
Micah grinned at me.
“Can I shower at your house?” I asked, waggling my eyebrows.
His breath hitched. “Yes.”
“Go,” I said, turning him around and giving him a little push. He
laughed but listened to me, rushing out to go find his car.
I was a complete wreck driving over to his place, and I barely
remembered to stop and grab my bag of clean clothes out of the trunk on
the way to the front door. Micah’s Kia was already in the driveway. I had
only stepped one foot inside the house when my bag was shoved off my
shoulder, and Micah kissed me, pushing me back against the door, which
closed with a bang.
“Fucking beautiful,” I said, then kissed him harder, sucking on the tip of
his tongue.
Micah trembled against me, and I wasn’t sure what was going on—if he
was that turned on or worried because we hadn’t had sex in so long. As
much as I fucking hated to slow down, I leaned back and caught his gaze
with mine.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded and smiled. “Yes! I love you! I’ve never said that out loud
and felt it inside. I’ve never felt it before you.”
Pride powered through me, and I was excited when I dragged him back
in for another kiss. Not long later we were ripping at each other’s clothing,
and finesse was thrown directly out the window. The shoes and socks went
first. I tossed away my own shirt, and he tugged his off, and our pants
followed. For a second, it was like we were stuck just staring at each other.
His gaze trailed over my chest and down to my dick, and I couldn’t stop
looking at the blissed out, needy expression that passed across his face. His
lips parted, and his dick strained toward his belly button, the rosy head
gleaming with a drop of precum that I wanted to smear everywhere before
licking it off my fingers.
“Get on your hands and knees. You want my tongue in your hole, don’t
you? Show it to me,” I demanded. I was sweaty and my muscles were
already starting to ache, but none of that was going to stop me from having
him right fucking now.
He nodded, and I groaned when he got on the floor. Micah wasn’t the
type of guy who worked out like crazy, but he usually picked walking over
driving when that was an option, and I loved the rounded globes of his ass
as he pointed them toward me. I kicked my bag closer, then got on my
knees behind him.
“Get comfortable.” I put my hand on his upper back and shoved, and he
lowered himself, resting his cheek on his crossed arms.
“Like this?” he asked, and I was blown away by the breathiness in his
voice.
“Just like that. Don’t move.”
I spread his rounded cheeks and looked at the pink hole I wanted to
pound my dick into. My entire body ran hot as my dick throbbed, and I
swore my soul left my fucking body for a second. I needed this—needed
Micah—in the worst way possible. I bent forward and lapped, torturing
him. He quickly became restless, and I didn’t have teasing in me at this
point. I jammed my tongue into his body, and he cried out. He sank more
toward the floor and shoved his ass against my face, and I burrowed in. I
loved the musk and the way I could feel his body trying to squeeze me out.
Everything about this made my dick harder.
Micah whimpered nonstop, and I snagged my bag, dragging it closer.
My hands shook as I unzipped the pocket on the end and tugged out a bottle
of the pink lube we’d been using. I didn’t hesitate to squirt some on his
hole, and then I used my tongue to work it into him, the sweet candy flavor
a shock on my taste buds. This was my new happy spot. I took my time,
squirting more lube onto him, then stuffing it inside him with the tip of my
tongue. After he was loose, I tried to get deeper. I spread his cheeks and
pressed as close as I could, attempting to touch his prostate. I didn’t know if
it worked or not, but his hips jerked forward, and I had to grab him and drag
him back, holding tight so I could continue to torture him.
I ate his ass until he was mumbling my name under his breath on a loop.
Micah chanting my name was the best music I’d ever heard in my life. My
dick surged, and an unbearably needy throb pounded in my cockhead.
I hesitated, and instead of fumbling for a condom, I sat back. I took my
time pulling the condom out of the bag and let out a long breath.
“Do you want to wear a condom?” he asked, surprising me.
I stared at him. Was this a trick question? “I want to do what makes you
comfortable.”
“You don’t have to, I trust you.” He swallowed hard. “I thought about
this, about what I wanted to happen when we did this again.”
 My chest felt warm and light, and I didn’t have a chance in hell of
fighting off the smile that took over my face. “You knew we were going to
get here again?”
“I hoped.”
He sat up on his knees and took the lube from me, and I tossed the
condom back in the bag. I held still as he slicked me up, but my fingers and
toes kept twitching and my mind shut down as I stared into his stormy eyes.
He ran his thumb over my cockhead, and I moaned, sliding closer. My dick
bumped against his as I shoved him backward, careful not to let his head
clonk against the floor. I kissed him, and once I had him on his back, he
wrapped his legs around me. For a while my whole world was devouring
his lips and rubbing our slippery dicks together, but eventually it all got to
be too much, and I had to get inside him.
I caressed my hands along his thighs and lifted his calves to my
shoulders, then moved forward, bending him in half. His head dropped back
and he stared at me as I lined up with his hole. The pressure of pushing into
his body made my pulse pound in my ears as heat twisted into a knot in my
gut, and as I slid in, my eyes rolled back in my head. This was the ultimate
experience. I’d loved his blowjobs and sex with a condom, but feeling the
scalding heat of the inside of his body against my dick had me shuddering
the second my groin touched his asscheeks.
“You’re so hard, and I can feel your skin against my hole,” he
whispered.
“Oh my fucking God, I’ve never done this,” I said, then bent forward
and kissed him until I had to stop so I could breathe.
“Neither have I. I trust you with everything.”
Those words lit a fire in me, and I pulled out and slid back into the tight
grip of his body. Then I picked up speed. I’d thought I’d been working out
during the game, but I slid my fingers between his, then held him down
while I fucked him until sweat stung my eyes. He writhed and yelled out
underneath me when I angled my hips slightly differently, and as soon as
that started happening, I refused to move from that spot. I wanted him to
come on my dick, especially since it was bare inside him. I was enjoying
every ripple of his muscles pressed against me.
“Yukio, I need to jerk off,” he said, breath hitching. He tried to tug his
hands free from mine.
“No, you need to let me take care of you.” I kissed him and kept going.
 Micah clenched around me, then turned away so he could yell, and I
didn’t stop as his cum coated my abs. I loved each hot spray against my
skin, and I stared at the pleasure written on his face as his hole squeezed
harder around my dick.
He opened his eyes and looked at me like I was one of the gods he
talked about, and that did it—I buried my dick deep inside him and my
orgasm punched me hard. I felt dizzy as ecstasy rolled through me, and I
shook while I rutted deeper and pumped my cum into his ass. I’d never left
my jizz in another man. Something fucking magical had just occurred. I
cupped the back of his neck and kissed him as I thrust my hips a few more
times, putting every drop of my cum directly in him.
“I’m inside you. When I pull out, I’ll still be there.” I kissed his cheek
and loved the tang of salt on his skin from the tears that had leaked out of
the corners of his eyes.
He smiled and hummed.
After a while he tightened his thighs around my middle, and I rubbed
them. His long legs were so delicious. I wanted to spend hours kissing
them, then burying my face between them.
“Do you really love me?” he asked, and it was the first time I’d ever
heard him sound drunk. His smile made me want to give him anything to
keep it on his face.
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” I kissed his chin, then his lips. I
never wanted to stop.
He began to chuckle, and I leaned away.
“My back,” he said with a shrug. “The floor is hard.”
“Oh, let me help.” Pulling free of him was hell. I wanted to stay in his
body forever. After I was out, I helped him get up on his knees so that he
was facing me, and then I hugged him and rubbed his back while he leaned
on me and held me tight. I kissed his neck. “Is that better?”
“Mm,” he said, and I grinned because he sounded sleepy.
An annoying vibrating from my hoodie pocket had me sighing. I’d
forgotten that we’d told people we were meeting them out.
“Will you be mad if we blow off Milo and his family tonight?”
Micah shook his head. “No, but it would be rude not to let them know.
They might worry.”
“Good point,” I said, then kissed his cheek again. I loved the way his
face pinked up any time I did that.
 He laughed as I growled while crawling toward my hoodie, and I tugged
my phone out. I was stunned and almost didn’t answer as Mom’s name
popped up on the screen, but I’d been ignoring her calls ever since I didn’t
go home for Thanksgiving, so with a sigh, I answered.
“Hello? Mom?” My little brother was crying about something in the
background, but it didn’t take much to set him off on a good day and almost
anything could do it on a bad one. “What’s wrong with Asuka?”
She sighed. “He doesn’t travel well. You’re not home.”
I blinked at Micah, and he cocked his head.
“I know,” I said.
“Well, we’re here.” She laughed. “Surprise! We missed you!”
Someone chuckled in the background, and I could hear Dad saying
something, and then Asuka was shouting about an airplane loud enough for
me to hear him.
“Wait. You’re in New Gothenburg? Why are you here?”
She huffed. “You didn’t come home for Thanksgiving! And you weren’t
telling me much about school, like you usually do. You didn’t send me any
clips of your band. You missed family time. That isn’t you. We thought if
school was so rough, we would come here. I want to take you to dinner,”
she said brightly.
“I just had a game. I need to shower, and then I can meet you wherever
you want.”
“Okay!” Her happy tone made me smile, despite my growing alarm.
“Your dad loves to pick restaurants. I’ll tell him to start checking reviews.
Bye, I’ll message you his choice! Hurry!” She hung up before I could get a
chance to say anything about Micah. I stared at him.
“What?” he asked.
I tossed my phone onto my bag and hopped to my feet, then held out my
hand to him. “Come on. I have some people I want you to meet.”
His mouth fell open, and I thought maybe he was going to start
panicking, but the second he was on his feet I hustled him toward the
shower. He was going with me one way or another because I’d meant it
when I’d told him I had no plans to hide him—from anyone.

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 18

OceanofPDF.com
 MICAH

I didn ’ t know who I was more afraid of , Y ukio ’ s dad or mom . T hey
both stared me down as if they wanted to murder me, and to say I was
scared was an understatement. Yukio looked more like his mom. He had her
kind eyes, and even though she was giving me a death glare, I could tell she
had a sweet personality. Yukio also had her soft jaw and strong eyebrows,
though he had his dad’s nose.
“What did you say you do for a job again?” Yukio’s dad—Jiro, Yukio
had introduced him as earlier—studied me, the same way I suspected he
would a bug he’d found in his soup.
We were having a meal at Manzi’s, an Italian restaurant that Yukio also
enjoyed ordering from. I’d been relieved we were going somewhere with
food I was familiar with. His parents sat on one side of the wide booth, with
his little brother seated next to his mother, while Yukio and I sat across
from them. To our right was a red-and-blue stained glass window, which
was beautiful but had only been a conversational talking point for less than
a minute.
Now here I was, struggling to breathe while the center of attention.
“I’m a history professor at the college,” I said, wriggling uncomfortably
under Jiro’s hard stare. “I specialize in ancient Greek history.”
“Why not ancient Japanese?” He tapped the table in front of himself,
and my gaze snapped to his finger, the sound grating on my nerves and
making me more anxious. Yukio’s soothing hand on my back wasn’t
helping.
“Uh. . . .”
 “Don’t you respect my son’s culture?” His tone went deeper, and I
flushed, my anxiety ramping up ten notches.
“Of course I do! I found my love of history through Greek philosophy,
and Yukio actually gave me several books—”
Yukio touched my shoulder, and I sent him a glance. He smiled, his face
soft and calming. “It’s okay, Hanii. He’s messing with you.” He sent his dad
a sharp glance. “Oyaji, karakaunayo.”
Jiro started laughing, and I slumped in my chair in relief. “I’m teasing
you, Micah.”
His wife slapped him lightly on the arm and said something to him in a
low tone. Jiro chuckled harder, and his wife—Sarah, I reminded myself—
shook her head. “Forgive my husband, Micah. He enjoys making people
uncomfortable.”
“No, I do not.” Jiro shrugged. “I wanted to know what my son’s
boyfriend does as a job. It is important to have a good career. Yukio is to be
an accountant.”
“And Micah’s a teacher.” Yukio gave me a proud smile, and the heat in
my cheeks burned hotter. “And he’s great at what he does.”
“College teachers do not make much money, correct?” Jiro pursed his
mouth as the server who’d taken our order earlier came back with a basket
of ciabatta bread. She was pretty, with long black hair back in a braid and
rosy, apple cheeks, and she gave me a sympathetic frown, like she knew
exactly what was happening, then left again.
“Jiro, enough.” Sarah poked him on the arm, and he waved his hand at
her.
“Fine. I will stop.” He said something in Japanese, and Sarah spoke
back to him, and whatever was happening, it sounded like a small
argument.
Yukio leaned against my side. “Ignore them,” he whispered. “They
mean well. They like you.”
I chuckled quietly. “It doesn’t seem like it.”
“They do, trust me. If they hated you, they wouldn’t sit around and have
dinner with you.” He kissed me on the cheek, and I gave him a small, shy
smile. I noticed his little brother watching us with curious brown eyes, and
when he caught my stare, he grinned and waved at me. I winked in return,
and he giggled.
 “I like you, too,” he said, and I hadn’t realized he’d heard what Yukio
and I were talking about.
“And I like you.” I pointed at him, and he giggled again, mimicking me.
“Can you speak Japanese, too, Asuka?”
He shook his head timidly.
“We’re trying to teach him.” Sarah reached over and caressed her thumb
over Asuka’s rounded cheek. “His ojiichan doesn’t speak English well, and
it’s hard for him to communicate with Asuka. So, we’re trying.”
“When I was a kid, Dad was still learning English. I think I told you
that. So, I grew up speaking both languages.” Yukio stole a piece of sliced
ciabatta and dipped it into the small bowl of herbed oil that came with it.
“Now he speaks fluent English.”
“That’s because I learn fast.” Jiro smirked, and in that moment, he
reminded me a lot of Yukio.
Sarah rolled her eyes and murmured something in Japanese, and
whatever it was must have been funny because Yukio and Jiro both laughed.
Asuka glanced at me, a cute little frown creasing his brow, and I
shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, buddy.”
“Tell me about yourself, Micah,” Sarah said, earning my full attention
again. “You’re a history teacher. What made you like history?”
“Oh, lots of things.” Including parts of my past I didn’t want to bring up
to my boyfriend’s parents. Getting lost in history because it was better than
my father’s verbal abuse wasn’t something that I should be telling them
about. “It started when I watched some old movies. Iphigenia and The 300
Spartans were my favorite. I realized then that I was fascinated by the life
of the Greeks back in the times when they believed in gods.”
“Japan has kami.” Jiro grabbed a piece of ciabatta and dipped it in the
oil before shoving it into his mouth. He chewed while he appeared to think.
“My favorite kami is Raijin. He is the kami of thunder and lightning. Like
your Thor.”
Yukio groaned. “Oyaji, Thor is Norse, not Greek.”
“Hah. Is he?” The smirk returned to Jiro’s face, and I had a feeling he
knew that already. Even though I usually got annoyed when people
confused the Greek gods with Roman or Norse, I smiled this time because
Jiro’s teasing reminded me of Yukio in a lot of ways. It was nice to see
Yukio’s good relationship with his father.
 The server returned with our meals, passing them out and finally
placing my chicken parmigiana down last. She glanced around the table
with a friendly smile. “Can I get you anything else?”
We all said no, and she left, but not before giving me a low-key thumbs-
up that had me grinning. From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of bikers
entering the restaurant, and I stiffened, even though I knew they weren’t
going to hurt me. Their black leather boots were loud on the floor and a
couple wore chains that rattled as they walked. Their entrance made my
toes curl in my shoes as I watched them.
One of the bikers gave us a small smile and nodded, and he was close
enough that I could see the patch on the front left side of his leather jacket
—The Kings of Men MC.
“Come on, Pike, hurry the fuck up.” A big guy with short hair and a
matching beard plonked down at a booth near us. His mean scowl raised the
hair on my arms. He had the same patch on his leather jacket as the guy
he’d called Pike.
The Pike biker rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like
“you’re a jackass, Scar” before he went to sit in the booth with a couple of
other men. My attention strayed to the mural on the wall behind them for a
moment because it was an interesting old-world map of Italy.
Jiro observed them carefully, and I noticed how wary he was. He’d laid
his palm on the table, fingers spread and jittery, like he wanted to reach for
something. His hand was very close to a knife the server had brought over
with his steak.
Sarah said something to him in Japanese, and he nodded and replied. I
glanced at Yukio, silently asking for an explanation, but he gave me a tight
smile.
“It’s fine.” He nudged me with his shoulder and gestured at my chicken.
“Eat, Hanii.”
The big biker peered at us from the corner of his eye, and he sneered,
but it was brief before a King beside him placed his hand on his arm,
catching his attention.
We settled in and began to eat, and as the minutes ticked by, Jiro started
to relax. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was about Yukio’s father
that alerted me, but my survival instinct told me this man was dangerous.
Not to me personally, but if I did something wrong and got on his bad side,
I would probably end up regretting it.
 My attention slid to the tattoos on his wrists, mostly hidden by the long
sleeves of his dress shirt. The inked design was primarily black, but had
some color in it, though I couldn’t see the full tattoo because of the material
blocking it.
“Do you like Italian food?” I asked, gathering my courage to start a
conversation.
My words made Jiro straighten and focus on me. He nodded in a short,
direct movement. “Yes. I admit I do not have much of it at home in
California, and it’s a good treat to have on vacation. We usually eat
healthfully.”
I wrung my hands together in my lap. “I’ve never been to Cali before.
Or Japan. I haven’t left the country.”
“You should change that.” Sarah’s smile shifted and became much
warmer. “Yukio goes to Japan at least once a year. He even took a year after
high school to live there and get better acquainted with his family. You two
should go for a vacation, and you could meet Yukio’s ojiichan.”
“Grandpa,” Yukio said immediately, though I’d gathered the word
referred to a grandparent. “He lives in Nagoya. There’s a lot of history
there, you’d like it.”
“You’d want to take me to meet him?” I flushed when everyone’s
attention turned to me. My knee jiggled and I slapped a hand on it to stop
the movement.
“Hell yeah. Why wouldn’t I? He’d love you.” Yukio placed a kiss on
my cheek—the second one tonight—and I groaned.
“Not in front of your parents.” I gave him a small nudge with my elbow
but continued to grin.
“Micah?” The familiar voice made my spine go stiff and my entire body
trembled. I turned my head to stare at my dad, who had been walking past
me when he’d stopped. It’d been years since I’d seen him, and that still
wasn’t a long enough time. He hadn’t changed a bit, though, with the same
unshaven face and a permanent, aggravated expression that made my
stomach curl in cold fear.
His gray eyes elicited a well-known feeling of ice sliding down my
spine and the ability to breathe was lost to me. My lungs wouldn’t work,
and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from that small scar on his upper lip.
When I was eight, I’d accidentally smacked him with a school project made
of wood, and he’d needed stitches. He’d never let me forget it.
 “Dad.” The word was barely a whisper and I involuntarily leaned closer
to Yukio, who curled an arm around me. His hold was tight and secure, and
he made me feel like I could breathe again. “What are you doing in the
city? Usually you stay away from here.”
“I came for dinner, boy. Members of the local farmland trust were
meeting tonight. I’m friends with the man who owns the place. He buys
local for the kitchen. You never did care to learn how the farm ran and
made money.” Dad rolled his eyes and his gaze slid to Yukio. His curly hair
had grayed and thinned since I’d last seen him and he had a bald spot in the
middle of his head that shone under the lights overhead. “What the fuck is
this?”
I swallowed around my panic and straightened. “Dad, not now, please.”
“Not now?” He grunted and slapped his hands on his dirty pants. Only
he would come into a nice restaurant with clothes caked in dirt after a day
of working on the farm. “When were you going to tell me you were—”
“Dad!” I stood and held up my palms to him. “Don’t make a scene.
Please.”
“Is this why Candy left ya?” He shook his head in disappointment, and
the shame I was used to around my dad curdled in my stomach like rotten
milk. “You prefer dicks?”
“For the love of Zeus. Stop it, Dad. Just stop.” I gave Yukio a quick
glance, the embarrassment making my face scorch with unpleasantness.
Yukio shook his head, eyebrows dipped in anger. He rose and stood behind
me, giving me the support I needed now more than ever.
“You should go to your table, sir, and leave Micah alone.” His jaw
tightened and he glared at Dad.
Dad snorted. “This is a free country. I can do what I want.”
This time Jiro and Sarah stood together, and my shame knew no bounds.
After tonight, I wouldn’t be surprised if they told Yukio to never see me
again, and I wouldn’t blame them. Dad was my greatest humiliation, and
there was nothing I could do to rid myself of him, even avoiding him.
“You heard my son. Leave.” Jiro straightened, and while he wasn’t a tall
man, something about his posture screamed the kind of power not many
men possessed. His jaw hardened and he stepped in closer to me, offering
backup.
Dad grunted and laughed, pointing at me. “I knew there was something
seriously wrong with you. I told your brother it was more than always
having your head in the clouds. Now look at you, fucking a man. And
worse, you made Alex the same way.”
My foot tapped the floor and I glanced nervously at the server who
came breezing our direction, thinking of all the ways I could apologize to
her for my father’s behavior.
Behind Dad, the bikers rose and walked toward us, their presence huge,
and I winced, stepping away and back into Yukio’s arms.
“It’s time for you to leave,” the one named Scar said, crossing his
muscular arms over his chest. His expression hadn’t improved, and in fact,
he looked like he could spit acid. “My boyfriend doesn’t want any bullshit
in his family’s restaurant.”
Dad spun around and snorted, giving the biker a long once-over. “Get
out of my face. I know Manzi. He would agree with everything I’ve said.”
This went from bad to worse. I groaned, hiding my face in my palms as
I prayed for strength from whatever god was listening, and then I dropped
my hands. “Dad, you’re embarrassing yourself.”
Scar stepped in closer to Dad and grabbed the front of his shirt. “Go.
Now.”
Behind Scar were two more bikers, including Pike and a man who
looked very much like him. They could’ve been brothers. They probably
were. If it came to a fight, Dad definitely wouldn’t win.
Sarah raised her hands at everyone and smiled. “Gentlemen, this is a
family restaurant. How about we cool our heads? There is a child present.”
She gestured at Asuka, who appeared absolutely thrilled that something so
interesting was going on. He flashed me a bright smile.
Dad sneered at her. “How about you shut up?” He was nearly shouting.
I could almost hear the gasps that echoed through the room, and my
embarrassment was complete. If I died right now, it would be a relief from
this horrific sensation swirling in my stomach.
Yukio’s hold on me tightened and he laid a soothing kiss on my cheek. I
realized I was muttering sorry to him over and over again, and he was
shushing me in comfort.
Sarah’s face turned stormy, and I couldn’t explain the sensation of pure,
unadulterated fear that passed through me at her expression. Her husband
was stern, but she was something else as she moved around Jiro and leaned
in to whisper to Dad. Her pursed lips reminded me of the brawl Yukio and
Alex had at Mousetrap, when I’d been terrified they would injure each
other. Whatever she said to Dad had him blanching, and he stumbled
backward, straight into Scar’s chest.
Scar grabbed him by the shoulders and almost shoved him toward the
front door, not giving Dad a chance to think about coming back toward us.
He threw Dad outside and shut the door behind him before walking toward
us again.
Jiro nodded. “Thank you for your assistance, Colton.”
Scar—or was it Colton? I was confused—inclined his head. “Hinode.”
I blinked, wondering if everything that had just happened was a dream,
or more appropriately, a nightmare.
Yukio slowly guided me to my seat and helped me sit before he leaned
over to his dad as the bikers went back to their table. “Oyaji, do you know
them?”
Jiro cleared his throat and replied in Japanese, and Yukio’s eyes
widened.
“Ah.” Yukio smoothed a hand over my shoulder and didn’t say anything
else.
I was many things, and sometimes that involved being oblivious, but I
wasn’t stupid, even if Dad claimed I was. After Yukio had given me the
books to read about Japan, I’d spent time devouring the written content and
learning as much as I could. I’d studied the information carefully because it
was related to Yukio’s heritage. One of the books explained the history of
the yakuza. The men in those organizations had a certain personality about
them, but they also had connections with all types of illegal operations—
including motorcycle clubs. While yakuza members were proud, they also
had to be careful.
With the tattoos Yukio had and the glimpse I’d caught of Jiro’s, and now
the fact that he appeared to know these bikers, I firmly believed that Jiro
was part of the yakuza.
Sarah, though?
My gaze slid to her. She was nodding eagerly at Asuka, who was
giggling as he told his mother a story. She seemed sweet and very motherly,
but I’d seen something in her and I couldn’t forget it. She’d been ready to
strike without regret. I suspected she could be part of the same organization
as Jiro.
I didn’t ask or tempt fate, though. In circumstances like this, it was
better not to know.
 “I’m sorry about my father.” I winced and rubbed the side of my face.
“He’s always been this way. Always.”
“And you grew up with that?” Sarah gestured at me with a concerned
smile. “You are one of a kind. It would be easy to fall into the trap of
copying his attitude. Good for you, Micah.”
Jiro hummed in agreement and shook his head. “Men like that shouldn’t
be fathers. They aren’t cut out for it.”
Sarah grabbed a napkin and wiped the corner of Asuka’s mouth. “All
we ever want for our children is their happiness.” She winked at me. “And
Yukio’s pretty happy with you.”
“Yeah, I definitely am.” Yukio nudged his forehead against my jaw and
tilted his head, and I gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, which he accepted.
“I’m not giving you up for the world. I’d burn it down for you.”
I groaned and heat spread across my entire body. I buried my face
against his neck. He laughed, and it was a beautiful sound to my ears, but
what was even better was when he whispered, “I love you, Hanii.”
“I love you, too.”

OceanofPDF.com
 19

OceanofPDF.com
 YUKIO

L ounging against the blue marble accent wall in the

entertainment room at Milo’s parents’ house, I stared out the closed glass
doors at the snow falling on the patio. A few brave smokers had gone
outside to enjoy the freezing temperatures. I had no idea why half the guys
on the basketball team vaped because it was terrible for someone playing a
sport, but it wasn’t unusual. The dudes standing outside in a huddle
laughed, and one of them dropped their beer, followed by an explosion of
hooting. I had zero desire to be out there in this weather.
I glanced down at the sleek wooden bracelet Micah had given me this
morning as a birthday present and grinned, running my thumb over the
smooth surface. I paused to rub the blue topaz in the center. I hadn’t known
the gem was my birthstone until he explained it—because that just wasn’t
my kind of thing to learn about—but the thoughtfulness was sweet.
I already had plans to find a matching one for his birthday.
Smiling, I glanced around the room full of my teammates and half the
Parilla family. Even Coach was plopped on a leather armchair near a
fireplace. An unlit cigar dangled from his mouth while he drank a glass of
what I thought might be bourbon with Milo’s dad. They were clearly talking
a mile a minute, probably about game strategy, if the guys edging away
from them were any indication of the topic. No one wanted to get Coach
started on anything that would lead to work when we were in the middle of
a party.
“There you are! I finally pulled myself away from Mrs. Parilla. Did you
know that woman knows a startling amount of information about
basketball? I brought you this!” Micah held up a cupcake with blue icing
and snowflake sprinkles on top. “It reminded me of you. Happy birthday!”
With a grin, I took the cupcake from him and glanced at him out of the
corner of my eye as I licked a stripe of frosting from the middle. Pink
attacked his cheeks, and I winked at him. “Why are you making such a big
deal out of my birthday?”
He shrugged and came over to lean against the wall next to me with his
arm touching my shoulder. I took a step closer to him until we were pressed
together. “My birthday was so close to Christmas, I always had to pick what
we celebrated. I either got birthday presents or Christmas presents. So, I
don’t know.” He touched my wrist, and I made him take a bite of my
cupcake by holding it in front of his lips. He smiled and nibbled, then
pushed it gently back in my direction. “I just want to make sure you feel
appreciated.”
“Between you and my parents, I know I’m loved. You don’t have to try
so hard.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek, getting another one of those
blushes that I was already addicted to; they were my real present.
“But I want you to know.”
Shaking my head with a smirk, I leaned against him. He watched me
while I ate my cupcake, which maybe would’ve been off-putting if someone
else did it, but I loved having his attention on me. My dick twitched in my
jeans when he bit his bottom lip.
“Hey!” Milo’s voice carried over everything else, and I could tell he
was already drunk. Across the room was a huge table of food and drinks,
and he’d started on whatever the hell was in the punch bowl before anyone
else had arrived. “It’s this guy’s birthday! I forgot! I was gonna have
everyone sing.” He whirled around, pointing at me. “Hey, it’s Yukio’s
birthday! Sing!”
There was laughter, and I endured a boisterous round of “Happy
Birthday.” Alexander got up out of his chair and wandered over to stand
next to us as the song ended, and he had a sheepish smile slapped on his
face. I could barely understand the transformation that had taken place.
He’d gone from an asshole always in my way to someone who was afraid to
talk to me, and I had no idea which was the real Alexander—or if they both
were—but if he’d acted this way to begin with, we would’ve had far fewer
problems.
 “Hi,” I said, trying to be polite. We were still a little uncomfortable with
each other, but I’d noticed him trying, and for Micah’s sake, I refused to act
like a dick anymore.
“Uh.” Alexander glanced at Micah, who nodded at him with a bright
smile. “Usually for birthdays in our family, I bake. It’s something I’ve
always liked to do. Um, so what type of cake do you prefer?”
Not long ago I would’ve found some way to turn this new info into a
big joke, but he’d offered to do something nice, and Micah was blinking at
me expectantly. He mouthed thank you at Alexander, as if I wouldn’t notice,
and I bumped my shoulder against his arm.
“Vanilla, but cake is cake. I’ll eat anything.”
Alexander frowned. “Golden vanilla or the almond flavor?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t know there was a difference. The only thing I find
truly weird food wise is minty stuff. I’m not a fan of mint chocolate.”
“I’ll just make a regular golden vanilla.” He rubbed the back of his neck
in a move that practically shouted he was feeling awkward.
“Thanks,” Micah gushed, as if Alexander had just said he would build
an entire house. Either the cake was really good or he hadn’t thought
Alexander would ever make me anything, but either way, I was happy. I
offered Alexander my hand. He looked at it for a second, but then we
shook, and neither one of us tried to hurt the other or knock each other over.
We were both a little tense as we backed off. I cleared my throat as I put my
arm around Micah’s waist, but any lingering strangeness was driven off as
Mrs. Parilla came bustling over in her lime green party dress.
“Alexander! When are you coming back to the team?” she asked,
whacking him on the shoulder. She had a shirt draped over her arm I hadn’t
noticed until she flung it at him, and he had to catch it. She laughed. “I had
one made for you, so you better get it figured out.”
He held the present up and it was an NG State T-shirt with the Fireballs
logo on the front. He sighed. “Uh, I’m not coming back this year. Coach
and I talked. I can join again next year, if I try out with the newbies and do
better than them for the open slot.” He shot her an uneasy smile. “I’ll
probably be back.”
“You will! There’s no way a freshman is going to be better than you.
Come to practice. Coach won’t stop you,” I said.
Alexander glanced over his shoulder at Coach. We watched as a
drunken Milo nearly fell into his lap. Coach stood and steadied Milo on his
feet again, and in between the laughing and apologizing, somehow Milo
ended up with Coach’s cigar, and Coach had to chase after him to get it
back, which just led to hand waving and more apologies from Milo.
I snorted, and Mrs. Parilla sighed. “That boy cannot hold his holiday
spirits.”
We all laughed.
“Micah!” Mrs. Parilla said, and I could tell she had something lengthy
on her mind because she just had that look in her eye, and I loved Micah,
but I wasn’t in the mood to get stuck talking.
“I’m going to go try that holiday punch,” I said to her with my best
smile, then slipped around her as she took my spot at Micah’s side.
“You be careful. There’s a hefty amount of gin in that. I put some in.
Then Eddie, my husband, put some in, then Mia thought it tasted too sweet
and she put some in.”
“So, it’s basically straight gin?” I asked with a chuckle, glancing at the
many vibrant conversations happening around the room. There were more
people than ever braving the snow to smoke outside, and Kinsey was even
sitting in a corner on a small couch smoking right inside the doors, glancing
around frantically as if checking to see that no one would notice.
“Yes!” she said with a laugh.
I went over and got a glass of the odd green liquid out of an old-
fashioned crystal bowl. When I took a sip, it certainly reminded me of the
holidays because it was a cinnamon and pine extravaganza. I slurped
cautiously as I watched Micah talk with Mrs. Parilla, nodding his head
enthusiastically.
“Hey, Yukio.” Cohen walked toward me with his phone screen open. He
was a burly guy with shoulders big enough to support a bus and green eyes.
Half the time I felt bad for him because his mouth was always twisted to the
side with stress. “Do you know what’s happening next semester? I just
heard Professor Long isn’t teaching anymore, but he had two of the classes
we need to take. We still have the classes, but now there’s no instructor
listed.”
“No, but I’m sure they’ll tell us.” I shrugged, not too worried.
He talked to me for twenty minutes about the injustice of the school
possibly derailing our degrees—fueled by the green punch in his hand—and
I nodded along making affirmative sounds while I watched Micah across
the room. At first, he seemed like he was happy to be talking to Mrs.
Parilla, but after a few minutes he sort of wilted against the wall, and finally
his shoulders slumped and a small frown settled onto his face. I set my
unfinished glass on the refreshment table.
“I have to go. I’m sure it’ll work out.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Cohen said, but he was a worrier, and he stared
hard at his phone as I dodged people to get across the room to Micah’s side.
Faking a massive yawn right in front of Mrs. Parilla, I grabbed Micah’s
hand and smiled at her. “I’m sorry, but I have to be up early tomorrow.
We’re going.” I glanced at Micah, and he nodded quickly, passing her his
half-empty cup.
“Oh yes, very early.”
Mrs. Parilla pouted at us. “But there is no practice tomorrow! I checked
before I planned the holiday party!”
“Ah, but I have birthday plans,” I said to her, using my one weapon.
There was almost no way to argue against it.
“Oh!” She patted my cheeks, then hugged me, sloshing some of Micah’s
drink onto the floor, which I didn’t think she noticed. “And your mom and
dad aren’t here. You should come back over! I’ll make you a birthday
dinner.”
“They just visited. I’ll be fine,” I said, thinking fast.
“Well, happy birthday then, sweetie. You be good. Drive safe.” She
waved after us as we cut around a group of guys gathered at a pool table
and headed for the mobile coatrack by the door. Micah found our stuff first
and held my leather coat out for me, and I grinned and grabbed his wool
trench coat off a hanger. He took the winter much more seriously than I did,
which I thought was funny considering he’d been born in New York.
The second we were outside, walking along the driveway in the snow to
where I’d parked the Boxter next to the street, he gave me a relieved look.
When we got to the car, Micah reached out and tugged on the door handle,
but I held the fob in my hand and didn’t push the button.
He frowned at me. “It’s cold!”
“Pay the toll,” I said, tilting my chin so my lips were easier to reach.
He grinned and popped a kiss on my mouth, and then I pressed the
button and opened his door for him.
“Why did you want to leave?” He gave my shoulder a squeeze.
I swiped his hand and kissed it, and he took a step toward me rather
than getting in the car. “I could tell you were ready to go.” I shrugged.
 Micah leaned in and brushed his lips over mine in a long, sweet kiss that
had my stomach feeling warm. Happiness bounced around in my chest.
“Thank you,” he said.
“You don’t need to thank me for taking care of you.” I gestured at his
seat, and he sank down into the car. I closed the door and went around to
my side, and the second I was behind the wheel I turned on the heat. I was
just starting to make my way along the slippery streets when his phone
rang.
He let the annoying chirping go for a while, and I glanced at him as he
stared at his phone like it might bite him.
“What are you doing?”
“My ex is calling.” He glanced at me, face stark like he’d seen a ghost.
“She never calls.”
“Maybe it’s an emergency?”
He bit his lip, and I wished I wasn’t driving so I could give him a hug.
The phone started to ring again, and he answered the call but didn’t put
it to his ear.
“Hello?” A tinny woman’s voice was loud enough for me to hear, and I
couldn’t take the suspense. I reached over and snatched the phone out of his
hand.
“You’re driving!” Micah said, but I shook my head at him and glared at
the road.
“It’s fine.”
“Who is this?” the woman on the other end asked, her surprised tone
shrill.
“My name is Yukio. Who are you?”
“Candy,” she said, voice mellowing. “My father-in-law said Micah was
dating a man! I call Micah’s dad every year to wish him Merry Christmas
and invite him to dinner, since Micah doesn’t cook much and his father is
getting older. I thought he was starting to get dementia or something, but
here we are. He doesn’t hang out with a lot of people, Micah, I mean. Are
you the boyfriend, then?”
“That mean old bastard didn’t just say Micah was dating a man. He said
something a lot nastier than that. And he’s your father-in-law? Aren’t you
divorced from Micah?” I frowned at the road and slowed down as the
snowflakes flew by faster.
 “It’s habit,” she said softly. “Of course, we’re divorced. I’m also
remarried. Can I talk to Micah?”
“Only if you’re nice.” I couldn’t help that I sounded unpleasant.
She laughed. “Okay, I like you. I will be.”
Micah took the phone from me, and as soon as it hit his ear he began
nodding, even though Candy couldn’t see him. I was starting to get irritated
because his face scrunched up into a frown until a “congratulations” that
was so loud I could hear it came out of the phone.
Micah smiled. “Yes, thanks. I am happy.”
After another minute he said goodbye and ended the call.
He let out a long sigh and stared between the phone and passenger
window. I locked the controls so he couldn’t toss the phone out because it
seemed like he was considering it. “She told me she was happy for me. I’m
convinced she was drinking. She’s never nice to me.”
I chuckled. “Take your wins. Does she call often?”
He shook his head. “No. I think she was just curious. I try to stay on
good terms with her for Alex’s sake.”
As I continued driving in silence, I contemplated his ex. He’d had a
whole life before he met me. I’d thought if I’d ever talked to her I would be
jealous because she’d had Micah first. She’d had a kid with him, but the
way he’d looked at that phone and how he hadn’t wanted to speak to
her. . . . I felt nothing except happy I was here to support him when he
needed me. I tickled the side of his cheek.
“Drive! Hands on the wheel!” He pointed ahead of us.
I grinned. It was bad out, but I’d learned how to handle the snow last
year, so I wasn’t worried. Not long later I pulled the Boxter into his
driveway unscathed, and we got out together. I held his hand on the way to
the door and glanced up at the sky with a grin.
“My name means snow boy. Did I ever tell you that?”
He chuckled and shook his head as he opened the door and let us in. I
flipped on the switch near the door and all the overhead lights flared to life.
He covered his eyes the way he always did.
“Sorry, I forgot.”
“I hate that,” he grumped.
“I’m sorry,” I said, then kissed his cheek.
He lowered his hand while I kicked off my shoes, then set them on the
mat next to the door that I’d put there to collect the winter slush. He
dropped his boots beside mine, and I stared for a minute. I liked to look at
our things together. We tossed our coats over a chair at the island, which
we’d gotten into a habit of doing recently.
Micah grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. I loved the black
sweater he had on, and I ran my hands over his back, enjoying the slim
muscles covered in soft fabric. He buried his face against my neck and
inhaled, then groaned.
“Thank you for paying attention to me at the party. You were right. I
was ready to leave. You smell so good,” he said with a sigh and sniffed me
again.
Laughing, I gently pushed him back until I could look into his grateful
eyes. “My cologne is on your dresser. You can wear it anytime you want.”
“But I like to smell it on you,” he said, and the innocent look he gave
me was perfect. He wasn’t trying to be sexy—he just said the best things.
My heart did a weird, happy flip.
He leaned against me. “No one has ever paid attention to me like you
do.” He covered my mouth with his, and I loved the way he parted his lips
so our tongues could dance together. Things heated between us as I lapped
my tongue into his mouth, and he made cute, sexy little sounds that made
me want to devour him. I urged him forward, walking him backward toward
his bedroom door. I didn’t let him turn around because I liked the way he
trusted me to guide him past the couch and coffee table, putting his life into
my hands. When he hit the bedroom door, I took the chance to kiss him
harder, pushing him back against it. He panted and wriggled, and his hard-
on brushed my abs.
By the time I twisted the knob and opened the door, we almost fell
through. I stopped at the dresser and grabbed my cologne, the blue bottle
sparkling in the low light as he flipped the switch on the wall and the lamp
beside the bed flared to life. I spritzed myself, and he moaned.
“Undress for me,” I said, loving the way he visibly shuddered at the
order.
Micah nodded and was adorable with how fast he tried to get out of his
clothes. He almost fell while ripping his sweater up and off, then the
undershirt. I stepped forward and caught him around the waist, running my
hands over his soft, warm skin, and he unbuckled his belt, then undid the
button on his pants. I couldn’t help myself; I lowered the zipper before
teasing my fingers over his trapped dick. He leaned in and kissed me, taking
his time to turn it into something deep and beautiful that had me sliding a
hand behind his neck to hold him still. I sucked on his tongue and rubbed
his dick for a minute or two before I stepped back.
Pinkness had spread across his face, down his neck, and his chest was
the same color. His nipples stood out on his pecs and a thin trail of brown
hair led from his belly button down into his pants.
“Go on. I want to see you,” I said.
He nodded and pushed his pants and underwear down at the same time,
then stepped out of them. My breath caught. Since we’d gotten together, I
thought maybe he’d been eating more regularly, and he was a little more
solid because I’d started convincing him to go on walks with me or
sometimes do some light weights at the gym. He’d already looked good, but
now he seemed healthy and happy, especially when he smiled at me. I loved
the way his dick curved up like it was waiting for my command to erupt
with cum—or maybe I just knew Micah loved that so much that I was
imagining things. A drop of clear liquid beaded in his slit, and I swiped my
finger across it, then sucked on the sweet and bitter drop.
His mouth fell open.
I stripped my shirt off, then tossed it, and I didn’t look away as I
removed the rest of my clothes. I wasn’t trying to be sexy or drive him
crazy, I just loved seeing his shocked reactions every time a new piece of
me was exposed to his hungry gaze.
“Can I kiss your tattoos?” he breathed out, barely a whisper.
“Yes, Hanii. Put your mouth on me wherever you want.” I couldn’t help
my happy sigh as he rushed forward and started with the word Burn etched
in black ink on my neck. My father waffled between wanting me in the
family business and wanting me far the fuck away from it, but if Micah
loved tattoos this much, I might get my entire body done the way Dad had
when he was my age. It was pretty typical for men in his position.
I gasped as Micah traced around the dragon on my right pec, then
tickled his tongue over my nipple. Normally I ran the show, but fuck, I
loved everything he was doing. I didn’t have a single desire to tell him to do
anything else when he sweetly hit his knees and grasped my dick, blinking
up at me as if he was afraid that I would tell him no.
I never had and couldn’t imagine a situation where I wouldn’t want his
lips on my dick.
“Can I, please?” he breathed out.
 “Hmm. You’re doing such a good job of making me feel good. Yes.
Open.” I put my hand over his and helped to guide my dick into his mouth.
He never glanced away once, not even when I accidentally gagged him. I
began to shallowly thrust, teasing both of us. I cupped his jaw and brushed
my thumbs over his cheekbones. My chest felt warm, and I never wanted to
stop being connected to him this way. I felt so amazing because I knew he
needed me to fuck his mouth, wanted me to do it, and somehow that made
every sensation brighter and better.
I tormented us both until I was ready to empty my balls, but then I
pulled out and held him back when he tried to chase after my shiny dick,
glossy with his spit.
“Come up here,” I growled out.
He had to try twice to stand, and his dick was leaking a thick line of
precum onto the floor that made me want to fuck him until he couldn’t
walk. Instead, I kissed him, claiming him by attacking his mouth, then
nibbling on his top lip. He whined when I sucked on the bottom one.
“What do you want?” I pulled back and stared at him.
He pouted because I knew exactly what he wanted—and he was aware
of that fact—but I loved hearing him say it, so I asked anyway.
“Come inside me? Please?” he begged, then swallowed so hard I could
hear the click of his throat. He always looked at me like maybe this time I
would say no. I had no idea how often I would have to do this to chase
away whatever fear was left inside him, but I softly kissed his mouth.
“Get in the middle of the bed.”
He nodded and crawled onto the bed, and I grinned, reaching for my
pants. I’d gotten something fun for tonight, and I popped the top on the
green apple lube I’d bought earlier today. He stared at me with a frown,
obviously not knowing what I was up to as I settled between his spread
thighs. I dribbled the lube on his dick until it glowed.
“You’re my birthday dessert, not some cupcake.” I smirked at him.
“What do you. . . ? Oh,” he said, falling back flat onto the pillows as I
bent and sucked on his cockhead. Micah always tasted good, but I loved the
candy flavor, and I spent a long time digging my tongue into his slit while
chasing down drops of the lube. He was convulsing on the bed like I was
stabbing him by the time I stopped, and I could tell with the way his dick
twitched and his balls were tight to his body that if I breathed on him wrong
this would all be over. He looked at my face as if I were an angel—or
maybe a demon—and I loved the power that pulsed through me. If I asked
him to stop breathing right now, he might try to do it.
“Spread your legs for me. I want to fuck the hole that belongs to me.”
Moaning, he nodded, and something shifted between us. An intensity
settled over everything. Maybe I’d been teasing too long tonight, but I felt
like electricity sparked underneath my skin and my dick seemed larger than
usual—or maybe I was just more aware of it. The sensations were strange
but wonderful, and my hand shook as I lubed myself up. I leaned forward
and kissed him.
“You’re the sweetest thing in this room, Hanii.” The line might’ve felt
cheesy some other time, but I meant it right now.
He barely breathed.
“I’m going in raw. Are you okay with it?” I’d gotten into the habit of
asking. There was something about the way he groaned and nodded his
head, letting me know he would be crushed if I decided not to put my load
in him, that made me need to ask every single time we did this.
I wanted to try something different, so I added some extra lube to my
dick, hissing at the cool sensation, and then I lined up and tried to push
inside him. It didn’t work because he was so fucking tight. Micah nodded at
me, encouraging, but I didn’t want to hurt him, even if the tempting
sensation of splitting him open for my pleasure was right there, waiting for
me to take it.
“Relax for me, Hanii.”
I teased against him, and just the struggle to get into his body blew my
mind. I rocked in place, massaging his hole with my cockhead.
His brow furrowed.
“Let me in, Micah.” I grabbed his red reading glasses, which had
slipped down his nose, and tossed them on the nightstand. Half the time he
forgot to take them off. He bit his lip.
When I nudged against his hole again, I got the tiniest bit of traction,
and as soon as I had some headway, I popped into the heat and squeeze of
his body. We both gasped, and I sank into perfect bliss. The shiny wood of
my new bracelet caught in the low light and distracted me for a moment,
and I smiled at the reminder that he not only wanted to let me into his
bedroom, but his entire life.
He grasped my shoulders and arched against me, and I pushed deep,
stopping him from moving.
 He whined. “Go. Now,” he said, undulating underneath me.
“How do you get what you want, Hanii?” I nipped at the tip of his nose.
He stared at me, and I almost started to move because I wasn’t sure I
could stand the wait anymore, but then he grinned. “Please! Please, Yukio. I
need you.”
Kissing him, I carefully began to buck my hips, making sure to go as
slow as I could stand to do it. I slid my hands along his long legs where
they were wrapped around my middle and snagged them, putting his thighs
over my shoulders so I could bend him in half. It didn’t take long for me to
start racing toward the finish line. He panted against my mouth, whispering
a string of unintelligible things, but every now and then I would hear
“please” loud and clear, and I wanted to be responsible for sending him
over the edge.
Bending him farther, I nipped his earlobe. “Come for me, Hanii.”
Micah shivered and wailed, and I loved how I was able to make his
body my own. Splashes of his cum painted my abs. I let go of my control
and pounded into him while staring into his eyes.
“I love you.” Me jolting him around made his words harsh, but they
were perfect.
I emptied my balls into him, pleasure tearing through my body and
graying out my vision for a bit. When I came back to the world, I was
kissing him in between panting.
“I love you, Hanii.” I ate that sweet name from his lips as soon as I said
it.
For a while we were quiet, our mouths meeting more often as our
breathing evened out. He pulled back and smiled. “What do you want to do
for your birthday?”
I shrugged. “This all day. What do you want on your birthday?”
He grinned, and I loved how he glanced away before he focused on me
again, as if he was too shy to look at me but forced himself to do it anyway.
“The same thing.”
Groaning, I kissed him, and I never, ever wanted to stop.

OceanofPDF.com
EPILOGUE

OceanofPDF.com
 MICAH

N erves ate at my stomach , and I rubbed it , cursing myself for being

so anxious about the trip. As excited as I was about finally leaving the
country and going to Japan to meet Yukio’s ojiichan, I was also not used to
straying from my comfortable life and routine, which included New
Gothenburg.
“What’s wrong?” Alex peered at me carefully, and I sent him a worried
smile. He’d helped Yukio move into my house last month as soon as
baseball season ended, and since then, he’d begun to come around to our
house for dinner once a week. While I couldn’t say Alex and Yukio were
friends—because who’d want to be after Alex treated Yukio so badly, even
if Alex regretted it—they did get along a lot better as the weeks passed.
One afternoon as he was helping Yukio move, Alex had dropped a box
full of clothing and announced quite abruptly that he no longer liked Yukio
and he was dating a man, though he didn’t tell us who, even though Yukio
needled him about it.
Alex’s blushes were new, and I enjoyed seeing my son happy, and I
finally understood what Sarah and Jiro meant about their kids’ happiness
being the most important thing. I couldn’t remember a time when Alex
smiled as much as he had since he’d started dating this mystery man.
“Dad.” Alex laughed and poked me in the side.
I straightened where I sat on the bed, miserable as I stared at the open
suitcase and piles of clothing on the floor.
“I asked you a question,” Alex said.
 “Nothing.” I shook my head. “Everything. I really want to go on this
trip, but I’m so nervous. What if his ojiichan doesn’t like me?”
“You’ve talked to him before, right?” Alex blinked at me, clearly
confused.
“Yes. Briefly. He doesn’t speak much English, and I’m learning
Japanese from Yukio, but I’m far from fluent.”
“So? They say communication is more than spoken language.”
“Who says that?” I glared at him because I thought he was making it up,
and he grinned wider.
He shrugged, a tinge of red streaking across his cheeks. In that moment,
he reminded me of myself. It was funny what being in love could do to a
person. Not that Alex was in love, or at least, I didn’t think he was—yet. I
hoped he would trust me enough to bring around someone he was in love
with.
“Are you sure you can look after the house?” I peeked around my room
and the chaos of clothes and personal items everywhere. I’d been trying to
figure out what I wanted to take with me, and I was at a loss. I had no idea
what anyone took to Japan. Yukio had one tiny bag and said it would be
fine.
“Dad.” Alex gave me a hard stare. “I’m an adult.”
“I know, but you won’t have any parties, right?” I was only joking, and
I offered him a smile to let him know.
“Oh yeah, I’m going to throw a massive kink party. It’s BYO sub.” He
laughed when I threw a pillow at him and it hit him square in the face.
“Have you talked to your mom lately?” I asked seriously.
Some of his joy dampened and he shrugged again. “Yeah, a little. She
wants to reconnect with me, but I don’t know, Dad. I mean, I was always so
angry at you for being stuck in your own head, but at least you supported
me how you could. She left me and started a new family. Half the time she
pretends I don’t exist. She likes Grandpa better than me.”
I nodded. “That’s fair. You don’t have to forgive her, Alex.” I held out
my hand to him, and he took it, letting me drag him to sit beside me on the
bed. “She hurt you, and she knows that, too. Or she should, anyway.”
“It’s weird. She wants me to meet my little brother. We’ve never talked.
He’s thirteen, Dad. Thirteen. A teenager. Then I’ve got a younger sister, too,
and she’s ten.” He frowned. “I know she’s trying now, but she doesn’t get to
just come back into my life after she forgot I existed for so long.”
 “Part of that is my fault. She was waiting for me to move on, maybe,
before she opened up again. She should’ve never pushed you out. I know
you’re hurt, and I’m not asking you to let her back in completely. You’re
right, she doesn’t deserve it.” Gods knew, I was surprised to hear from her.
Since the first chat with her when she spoke to Yukio, I’d spent an hour
every week filling her in on Alex’s life, and she’d listened. I couldn’t
pinpoint the change, but I owed it to Alex to help support his chance to
connect with her again. I rubbed his back. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m
here.”
He gave me a small smile. “Thanks, Dad. I’m sorry I was such an
asshole to you. I was so quick to blame you and be angry at you. I forgot
that you were there for me when she wasn’t.”
“It’s easier to blame the people we love the most.” I nudged him with
my shoulder.
The front door opened and closed. “Hello? Hanii, are you here?”
Yukio’s voice echoed through our tiny house, and I grinned, my heart
fluttering. Even after many months of dating, he still made my body react in
the most delicious ways.
“We’re in the bedroom.”
“Who? Are you cheating on me? He better be at least twice as good-
looking as I am or I’ll be pissed.” Yukio’s teasing had me rolling my eyes
and Alex laughing. He came into the bedroom and grinned at us. He was
still dressed in his gym gear with damp black hair, and the scent of sweat
and cologne tickled my nose. My cock twitched, and I sighed in pleasure at
the familiar smell. I could never get enough of him.
“How was your workout?” Alex asked, and there was something sad in
his voice that told me he missed it. I regretted having a part in that situation.
I hugged him around the shoulders, and he gave me a reassuring smile.
“Eh. You know what Coach is like. It’s summer, so it isn’t officially a
practice, but it’s worse than a real practice. He feels like he has to make
every second count.” Yukio chuckled and pointed at the unpacked suitcase.
“I thought you were going to help him do this? Micah promised me it
would be done by the time I got home.”
I groaned, and Alex laughed loudly.
“You know what he’s like about new things. He’s stressing that your
grandpa won’t like him.” Alex shrugged.
 I poked him, and he shoved me, and we both cackled like children as we
mock wrestled.
Yukio clapped his hands. “Okay, that’s it. Say your goodbyes. I’m
showering.” He winked at me and left to go to the bathroom. Admittedly, I
watched his ass too long, and Alex pushed my shoulder.
“Ew, Dad.” He grinned, though, and stood. “Are you okay? Do you
need any more help?”
I liked that he’d asked. Before the entire Yukio incident and the heart-
to-heart we’d had, he wouldn’t have even dared to say the question out
loud, but now there was concern in his voice, and he stared at me as if he
was willing to do anything for me—his dad. I couldn’t have asked for a
better outcome between us.
“I’m fine.” I patted his elbow and smiled. “I have Yukio, and he takes
care of me. Go.”
He pointed at me. “Don’t forget—”
“I will message you when I land and when we get to the hotel. I will call
you if there are any issues or if I need you to come to my rescue. I
promise.” I got to my feet, and he hugged me, and I leaned against him. We
stood there for a few long moments, and finally he stepped back, clearing
his throat awkwardly and chuckling.
“Bye, Yukio,” he yelled, and he got the same response back from Yukio
before he finally left. I waved at him from the front door and watched as he
got into his car and drove away. Only when he was gone did I lock the
house up securely.
I snuck in the direction of the bathroom and slipped through the closed
door. I didn’t get far.
“I see you.” Yukio knocked on the glass wall of the shower and grinned,
and even though the steam had fogged it up, I could still glimpse the
expanse of his flawless body through it. “Come join me, Hanii.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. As I stripped off my clothing as fast as I
could, I nearly tripped on my pants, and Yukio laughed. I grinned and
opened the glass door, then slid inside. He immediately wrapped his arms
around me, dragging me closer until our bodies were flush together. His
mouth was on mine in seconds and he kissed me as though it was the end of
the world.
I held him tightly, groaning against his dominant tongue. He shoved me
back against the glass, his fingers clutching tightly at my throat but not too
rough that I hated it. He pressed against me, his hard cock nudging my
thigh.
I whimpered into the kiss, hungry for more. I locked my arms around
his shoulders, bringing him as close as I could get him, desperate for
anything and everything from him. In that moment there was only me and
him and the present and the future—I was excited for it all.
“I want to fuck you,” he growled into my mouth.
I moaned in answer and spun around, tilting my ass back and presenting
it to him like it was a cake I was letting him eat, which he took seriously
because he fell on his knees and spread my cheeks, shoving his face
between them and getting to work. There was nothing slow about the way
he dug his tongue into my hole, and his grip on my cheeks wasn’t gentle.
He massaged my ass as if it was his greatest pleasure, and it only took a few
moments for my knees to get shaky.
He dug his nails into the fleshy part of my cheeks, and I groaned,
cursing under my breath. Everything inside me buzzed with electricity, and
I didn’t plan for this, so I was ready to explode. I couldn’t get enough of
him.
He flicked his tongue around the ring of my hole, and I trembled.
“Please,” I whispered desperately. “I want you inside me.”
“Do you?” The tease in his voice had me jerking my hips backward, but
his grip on my ass tightened. He slapped my right cheek hard enough for it
to hurt. “Let’s take this to the bedroom. I want to fuck you nicely because
tomorrow’s a long trip. You need to be able to sit on this ass.”
I groaned when he stood and switched off the shower, but he carefully
took my hand and led me out. He grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped
it around me, and then he helped me dry off, which was both strange and
nice. He’d never done this, and I leaned into his touches, closing my eyes
and enjoying the care he gave me.
After he dried off, he dropped the towels on the floor and entwined our
fingers, walking us to the bedroom. He kept his eyes on me the entire time,
gaze gentle and loving, and my heart pounded from a simple stare that told
me a thousand words. Forever seemed so guaranteed with him.
“On the bed,” he commanded in a deep voice when we got to the
bedroom.
I slid onto the mattress on my hands and knees, and before I could turn,
he placed a palm on my lower back, wordlessly telling me to stay like that. I
glanced at him over my shoulder, and he winked, a gesture that always
made me feel more comfortable. The lights in the bedroom were low and
the soft glow didn’t hurt my eyes, and while I’d had it that way on purpose,
it was always nice to have it like this when we had sex. There was a
romantic atmosphere with this kind of lighting.
He grabbed the lube from my—our—nightstand drawer and moved
back to the bed. I held my breath as he slid behind me and the snick of the
lid had my stomach clenching in excitement and need. We’d tried all kinds
of positions since the first time, and I loved every one of them, as long as it
was Yukio with me.
When the tip of his cock tapped my asshole, I moaned, which grew
louder when he pushed into me. He spread my hole apart, his cock working
me exactly the way I liked. I’d grown so used to his size now that I didn’t
need as much preparation. It was as though he was always meant to come
home to me.
I tilted my head back, and he grasped my curls, tugging it back even
farther so he could lay his lips across mine as he bottomed out inside me.
We both moaned before he nibbled on my lips. The feel of him bare in me
was one of the most amazing sensations, and I never wanted anything
between us again. His heat was searing, and I felt truly connected with him.
“I’m going to move.” He kissed the corner of my mouth before he
straightened and grabbed my hips, using them as leverage as he began to
thrust. His cock pounded into me without remorse, and after a few shoves
inside, he nailed my prostate.
Sharp, shooting pleasure exploded inside me, and I whimpered, fingers
curling into the blankets beneath me. My body was on fire, and I loved
every second of it, and I never wanted it to end. Yukio hugged me from
behind, plastering his chest to my back. He fucked into me, his pace
growing faster and harder.
He clutched me as though I would disappear if he didn’t, and I never
wanted him to let go. This was happiness.
We held on to each other, rocking with the waves of pleasure until it got
to be too much. My orgasm exploded. Waves of joy rolled out from deep
inside me and attacked the rest of my body, skipping up my shaft to pulse in
my cockhead. My cock jerked, painting the sheets under me with cum.
Yukio wasn’t far behind me and warmth filled my hole.
Finally, he collapsed on top of me, and I wriggled uncomfortably.
 “Sorry.” He kissed the back of my neck and pulled out, then shifted us
around until I was the big spoon, hugging him from behind. “There. That’s
better.”
I chuckled and laid butterfly kisses over his shoulder. “We’ll need to
change the sheets.”
“Soon.” He yawned.
I tickled my finger down his spine, and he shivered with a moan. The
skin on his back was naked from ink and it was always strange to see this
untouched part of him.
As if he could read my mind, he chuckled. “I want to get inked when we
go to Japan, if you’re okay with that. There’s an artist there I want to get in
touch with.”
I blinked. “Why would you ask me? It’s your body, Yukio.”
He hummed and rubbed my arm that I’d wrapped around his middle.
“We’ll be meeting Dad over there, and I was thinking Dad and I could go
together and get the ink done.”
“That’s a nice idea.” I nuzzled his back and sighed happily. “Your dad
would like that, too.”
“Mm. Ojiichan will love you.” He raised my hand to his lips and laid
his mouth on each fingertip, taking his time to give each one his attention.
“You don’t need to be nervous, Micah. I’ll always love you and protect
you.”
“Promise?” I hated how my voice wobbled.
“Promise. You stole my heart when I wasn’t looking.”
I chuckled and snuggled farther into him.
With Yukio’s support, I could do anything. “I love you,” I whispered.
He smirked and turned to give me a kiss on the lips. “I love you, too.”

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 THE NEW GOTHENBURG WORLD

Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory would like to invite you to explore further into
the seedy underbelly of New Gothenburg.

http://www.gothenburgworld.com

We have an official reading order here:

https://www.gothenburgworld.com/reading-order

We also have a new OFFICIAL store. You can check it out here:

https://www.redbubble.com/people/AuthorMegBawden/

Kings of Men Motorcycle Club Series

Ki Brightly and M.D. Gregory
1. King’s Killer
1.5. King’s Rogue
2. King’s Eyes
3. King’s Criminals
4. King’s Pawn
5. King’s Undertaker
6. King’s Undercover Fed
7. King’s Virtuous Son
8. King’s Barber
9. King’s Ex-Cons
10. King’s Silver Knight

The Killough Company

M.D. Gregory

1. The Boss
1.5 Boss’s Christmas
2. The Professional
3. The Assassin

The Reyes Cartel

Ki Brightly and M.D. Gregory

1. High

The Love Me Series (MMF)

Ki Brightly and Kiki Jested
1. Love Me STAT
2. Love Me Slow
3. Love Me Sweet

City Hall Series

Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory

1. Staking His Claim

2. Denial
3. Cuffed
4. Sold for the Night

The Courtesan Hotel

1. The Madam’s Baby Boy by Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory

The Bully Series

Ki Brightly

1. Bully Beatdown
2. Bully Rescue

The Norse Lords MC

M.D. Gregory

1. Thor
 Irish Roulette
Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory

1. How Did You Survive Without Us?

2. How Do You Survive With Us?
3. How Did You Survive Alone?
4. How Do You Survive a Kiss?
5. How Do We Survive Together?

The Fool Series

Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory

1. Fool’s Gold
2. Fool’s Errand

The Sweeney Mob

Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory

1. Legend

Other Books in New Gothenburg

Santa’s Bratty Elf by Ki Brightly
The Promise by Ki Brightly and Meg Bawden
Bent, Not Broken by Ki Brightly and M.D. Gregory
Curved: A Bent, Not Broken Novella by Ki Brightly and M.D. Gregory
You’ve Got to be Kitten Me by Ki Brightly & Meg Bawden
Yes, Sir by Ki Brightly & Meg Bawden
Dirty Secret by Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory
Best Belly Buddies by Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory
Bound to Him by Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory
Speak and Obey by Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory
Say Uncle by Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory
Fan Service by Ki Brightly
Diamonds Under the Mistletoe by Ki Brightly

Other Books in St. Loren

Sin & Supplication by Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory

I’m Not Your Butler by Ki Brightly
Cuddle Bear by Ki Brightly
The Ownership Clause by Ki Brightly

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 THE VANHEIM WORLD

Ki Brightly & M.D. Gregory would like to invite you to explore the
paranormal world of Vanheim.

No Peeking by Ki Brightly
Gutsy by Ki Brightly

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