Interacting With Other People

Recall from Carnegie, the only way to get someone to do something is to make them want to do
it. Never force them.

1. Do not criticize other people, you have no idea what they are going through. Even if
asked for feedback frame it by saying:

“Listen I have no idea what you are going through, all I know is that I trust you to perform
your job at your full capacity with the cards you have been dealt. If you may be lacking in
some areas there is a reason as you are a tremendous worker. Please don’t be afraid to
ever ask for help on anything.”

If you must give feedback, never set someone up for the slapline (punchline play-on),
where you mention all their accomplishments and then bulldoze them right to the ground
with the word BUT. Instead use the word AND for much better results.

Ex) You did such a great job on that project last month, BUT if you work harder than your
project would have had more of an impact.

You did such a great job on that project last month AND if you work harder than your
project will have more of an impact.

Pure Magic

2. Generate an eager want, when you have an idea, get that person to think of the same
idea and make it theirs. When the idea comes from them they have now made it
personal and will defend it at all costs.

3. Smile and mention a person’s name as much as possible.

4. Listen, don’t hear to what people are saying. Make them want to talk about themselves,
that is what they care about the most.

5. Make other people feel important, and give sincere appreciation by doing this. In a group
meeting thank someone who built/contributed a feature that enhanced the team’s
performance.
 6. Words that should never be spoken from your mouth: You’re wrong, Shut up, You could
have done x instead. Indirectly call to people's mistake never use a direct attack

7. Get other people to say yes to you A LOT. Do this by find common ground and mutual
interests. If you have an idea to pitch get them saying yes immediately

8. Give everyone sympathy, not flattery and make it genuine. Always admit when you are
wrong

9. Put on the imaginary magical glasses to see the world from the other person's point of
view

10. Dramatize your ideas and throw down a challenge to other people if the situation asks
for it

11. Set the bar high for others and put belief into their system that they can accomplish the
tasks you want

Getting A Read On Other People

-If someone is touching themselves (arms crossed, playing with hands, legs crossed), they are
probably in an uncomfortable position