Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that

studying the past history can help us better understand the present.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the history is often discussed about its importance and usefulness. Some people
assume that: "Let the past be the past" and recognize whether their country's history or the
others as an unimportant part in their life, and even ignore the benefits and advantages of
the existence about that. Beside that, other people trust that the history may partly or totally
have an effect on the present - in this case: historical knowledge; and from many views to
the conclusion as will now be explained

On the one hand, some people contend that the past, or its existing, is not very suitable to
the world that is now having lots of movements. Hence, imperceptibly, making the distinct
distance between two different conditions: past or present times. Beliefs and logic between
now-and-then generations are very far different, or not any more fitting on each other. For
example, some folk beliefs; which are used and accepted by many people; are now not very
usable in our modern world, as well as in medical, agriculture,... which may be dangerous
and cause many harms in our society

On the other hand, the past provides us many facts, that may help us understand it more
clearly. People in the past are giving us the experience from many fields. From that, we are
now making the decision in a way more rational, so we do not make any mistakes base on
that experience and knowledge. Moreover, they has motivated and inspired many people for
many centuries. As well as Galileo Galilei, who was called the father of observational
astronomy, has influenced many scientists to rise up in many revolution of science. Thus,
from that inspiration, we are having lots of theories and hypothesis in that kind of field

in conclusion, different thinking starts from different generations, so we cannot compare

each other to accept our opinion in history. Generally, the history is not now more flexible in
our technological world, especially when we are having much more intelligent inventions. But
we still need to remember that those inventions, more or less, will be affected from the past's
intelligence

Nâng cấp lập luận

Introduction: "Nowadays, the history is often discussed about its importance and
usefulness. Some people assume that: "Let the past be the past" and recognize whether
their country's history or the others as an unimportant part in their life, and even ignore the
benefits and advantages of the existence about that. Beside that, other people trust that the
history may partly or totally have an effect on the present - in this case: historical knowledge;
and from many views to the conclusion as will now be explained

Explanation: The introduction presents two opposing viewpoints on the significance of

history: some people believe it has little relevance to the present, while others argue that it is
essential for understanding the present. However, the introduction could be improved by
providing a clearer statement of the writer's own opinion or by offering a brief explanation of
why these opposing viewpoints exist.

Improved Example: "The significance of history in our lives has been a subject of debate,
with some arguing that it holds little relevance to the present, while others believe it is crucial
for understanding our current world. This essay will explore both perspectives, examining the
arguments for and against the importance of history in shaping our present."
Topic Sentence: "On the one hand, some people contend that the past, or its existing, is not
very suitable to the world that is now having lots of movements.

Explanation: The topic sentence introduces the first viewpoint, which argues that the past is
not relevant to the present due to the rapid pace of change and progress.

Improved Example: "Proponents of the argument that history has little relevance to the
present often cite the fast-paced nature of modern society. They contend that the past is
outdated and irrelevant to the challenges and opportunities facing us today."

Main Point 1: "Hence, imperceptibly, making the distinct distance between two different
conditions: past or present times. Beliefs and logic between now-and-then generations are
very far different, or not any more fitting on each other. For example, some folk beliefs;
which are used and accepted by many people; are now not very usable in our modern world,
as well as in medical, agriculture,... which may be dangerous and cause many harms in our
society

Explanation: This point attempts to support the argument that the past is irrelevant by
highlighting the differences in beliefs and logic between past and present generations.
However, it could be strengthened by providing specific examples of how these differences
have led to negative consequences in the present.

Improved Example: "One reason why some people believe history has little relevance to
the present is the perceived gap between past and present beliefs and logic. They argue that
the values and practices of previous generations are often outdated and incompatible with
the challenges and opportunities of the modern world. For instance, certain folk beliefs and
practices that were widely accepted in the past may be harmful or ineffective in today's
society."

Main Point 2: "On the other hand, the past provides us many facts, that may help us
understand it more clearly. People in the past are giving us the experience from many fields.
From that, we are now making the decision in a way more rational, so we do not make any
mistakes base on that experience and knowledge. Moreover, they has motivated and
inspired many people for many centuries. As well as Galileo Galilei, who was called the
father of observational astronomy, has influenced many scientists to rise up in many
revolution of science. Thus, from that inspiration, we are having lots of theories and
hypothesis in that kind of field

Explanation: This point argues that history is relevant because it provides us with valuable
knowledge and experiences from the past. It also highlights the inspiration and motivation
that historical figures have provided to future generations.

Improved Example: "On the other hand, proponents of the argument that history is relevant
to the present emphasize the valuable knowledge and experiences that it provides. They
argue that by studying the past, we can gain a deeper understanding of human nature,
societal trends, and the consequences of our actions. Furthermore, they point to the
inspiration and motivation that historical figures have provided to generations of thinkers and
innovators, leading to advancements in science, art, and other fields."

Conclusion: "in conclusion, different thinking starts from different generations, so we cannot
compare each other to accept our opinion in history. Generally, the history is not now more
flexible in our technological world, especially when we are having much more intelligent
inventions. But we still need to remember that those inventions, more or less, will be affected
from the past's intelligence
Explanation: The conclusion briefly summarizes the main arguments but could be improved
by providing a more nuanced and balanced view of the issue.

Improved Example: "In conclusion, the significance of history in our lives is a complex issue
with valid arguments on both sides. While some people argue that the past is irrelevant to
the present due to the rapid pace of change and progress, others believe that it is essential
for understanding our current world. Ultimately, the relevance of history depends on how we
choose to engage with it, whether by embracing its lessons and experiences or by
dismissing it as outdated and irrelevant."

Overall, the essay provides a basic discussion of the opposing viewpoints on the
significance of history. By providing more specific examples and elaborating on the
interconnectedness of past and present, the argument can be strengthened and made more
persuasive.

Task Response
Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:

Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument,
acknowledging that some individuals believe history is irrelevant while others see its
relevance. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity in distinguishing between these
perspectives.

How to improve: To better fulfill this criterion, provide more specific examples and
arguments for each viewpoint. Clearly outline the reasons why some people consider history
irrelevant and why others find it valuable in understanding the present.

Present a Clear Position Throughout:

Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position that acknowledges
both views, but there are instances where the stance is ambiguous. For example, while the
essay discusses the importance of history in influencing decision-making and inspiring
progress, it also suggests that history may not be as relevant in the modern world.

How to improve: To enhance clarity, maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay.
Clearly articulate whether you agree, disagree, or hold a nuanced perspective on the role of
history in understanding the present.

Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks sufficient elaboration and
support. While some examples are provided, they are not thoroughly analyzed or connected
back to the main arguments. Additionally, the essay could benefit from deeper exploration of
the implications of historical knowledge on contemporary issues.

How to improve: To strengthen this aspect, provide more detailed explanations and
evidence to support each point made. Elaborate on how historical events or figures have
shaped present-day circumstances and illustrate the relevance of historical understanding in
various contexts.

Stay on Topic:
Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the relevance of
history in understanding the present. However, there are moments where the discussion
veers off track, such as when discussing technological advancements without clear
relevance to the main argument.

How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points made directly contribute to the
discussion of how history informs our understanding of the present. Avoid tangential
discussions that do not directly relate to the prompt.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and attempts to
address both sides of the argument, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of
analysis, clarity of position, support of ideas, and staying on topic. By providing more specific
examples, maintaining a consistent stance, elaborating on ideas, and staying focused on the
prompt, the essay could enhance its effectiveness in addressing the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:

Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present arguments for both sides of the topic,
but the organization of ideas lacks clarity and coherence. The introduction provides a brief
overview of the topic, but the transition between the introduction and body paragraphs is
abrupt. Additionally, the essay lacks clear topic sentences for each paragraph, making it
challenging for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. The conclusion also feels
rushed and does not effectively summarize the main points presented in the essay.

How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the essay should begin with a clear
introduction that presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Each body
paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or evidence.
Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through
the essay. Finally, the conclusion should provide a concise summary of the main arguments
presented in the essay, reinforcing the writer's opinion.

Use Paragraphs:

Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but their structure and
effectiveness are inconsistent. Some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and contain
multiple ideas, leading to confusion. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits of
studying history jumps between different points without clear transitions. Additionally, the
concluding paragraph feels disconnected from the rest of the essay and does not effectively
summarize the main arguments.

How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and begin with a clear
topic sentence that introduces the topic of the paragraph. The body paragraphs should
contain supporting details and examples that relate directly to the main idea. Transitions
between paragraphs should be smooth to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the
essay. The conclusion should tie together the main points discussed in the body paragraphs
and restate the writer's opinion in a clear and concise manner.

Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices, such as transitional
phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," to connect ideas within and between
paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited, and some transitions feel
forced or awkward. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body
paragraph is abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas.
Additionally, there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices used throughout the essay, which
can make the writing feel repetitive.

How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the essay should incorporate a
variety of transitional phrases and words to connect ideas and create flow between
sentences and paragraphs. This includes using transitional phrases like "however," "in
contrast," and "therefore" to indicate relationships between ideas. Additionally, the essay
should pay attention to the logical progression of ideas within and between paragraphs to
ensure smooth transitions and maintain coherence.

Lexical Resource
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some
attempt to convey ideas using varied terminology. However, there are instances where the
vocabulary choices could be more precise and diverse to enhance the depth of expression.
For instance, the use of phrases like "movements" and "different thinking" could be
substituted with more nuanced terms to enrich the discussion.

How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate more
specific terms related to the essay topic. Instead of general phrases like "lots of
movements," consider employing terms such as societal shifts, cultural transformations, or
historical dynamics. Additionally, employing synonyms or exploring more descriptive
adjectives and adverbs could add depth to the analysis.

Use Vocabulary Precisely:

Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally employs vocabulary with precision, but there
are instances where the usage lacks clarity or specificity. For instance, phrases like "not very
suitable" and "not any more fitting" could be replaced with more precise terms to convey the
intended meaning more effectively. Additionally, some expressions, such as "having lots of
theories and hypothesis," could benefit from more accurate terminology.

How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should strive for
clarity and specificity in expression. Instead of vague terms like "not very suitable," consider
using precise language such as incompatible, irrelevant, or obsolete. Similarly, refine the
usage of scientific terminology by accurately distinguishing between theories and
hypotheses, ensuring a clear and concise presentation of ideas.

Use Correct Spelling:

Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mixed level of spelling accuracy. While
there are instances of correctly spelled words, there are also several spelling errors
throughout the text. These errors detract from the overall coherence and professionalism of
the writing.
How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should prioritize proofreading and
editing to identify and correct errors. Utilizing spell-checking tools and seeking feedback from
peers or educators can also be beneficial in identifying and rectifying spelling mistakes.
Additionally, practicing spelling through regular writing exercises can help reinforce correct
spelling conventions and enhance overall proficiency.

Overall, while the essay exhibits some strengths in lexical resource, such as attempts at
varied vocabulary usage, there is room for improvement in precision and spelling accuracy.
By refining vocabulary choices for clarity and specificity and enhancing spelling proficiency
through practice and editing, the writer can elevate the quality of their writing and better
convey their ideas effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:

Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures,

including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a lack of
sophistication in the sentence structures used. The essay tends to rely heavily on simple
sentences and lacks variety in sentence length and complexity. For example, "Some people
assume that: 'Let the past be the past' and recognize whether their country's history or the
others as an unimportant part in their life, and even ignore the benefits and advantages of
the existence about that." This sentence is complex but lacks clarity due to its convoluted
structure. Furthermore, there is a tendency to repeat certain phrases, such as "from many
views to the conclusion as will now be explained," which hampers the flow of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and complexity of the essay, consider
incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures, including compound-complex sentences
and parallel structures. Varying the length of sentences can also improve readability and add
sophistication to the writing. Additionally, avoid repetitive phrases and aim for clarity and
coherence in expressing ideas.

Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate level of grammatical accuracy

overall. However, there are several instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing
throughout the essay. For example, "On the one hand, some people contend that the past,
or its existing, is not very suitable to the world that is now having lots of movements." The
phrase "is not very suitable to the world that is now having lots of movements" is awkward
and lacks clarity. Additionally, there are errors in subject-verb agreement and tense
consistency, such as "People in the past are giving us the experience from many fields."

How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to pay closer attention to

subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Proofreading the
essay carefully and revising sentences for clarity and coherence can help identify and
correct grammatical errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with common grammatical rules
and sentence structures through practice and study can enhance overall grammatical
accuracy and fluency.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and adequate
grammatical accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and
enhancing grammatical precision to achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and
Accuracy.

Bài chữa tham khảo

Today, discussions about the importance and utility of history are common. Some individuals
adhere to the notion of 'Letting the past be the past,' considering both their own country's
history and that of others as inconsequential to their lives. Additionally, others contend that
history, particularly historical knowledge, significantly influences the present, as will be
elaborated from various perspectives.

On one hand, some argue that the past is not well-suited to the fast-paced world of today,
creating a notable gap between past and present circumstances. Beliefs and logic between
contemporary and historical generations diverge significantly, rendering them less
compatible. For instance, certain traditional beliefs, widely embraced in the past, are now
impractical in modern contexts, particularly in fields such as medicine and agriculture, posing
potential risks to society.

Conversely, the past offers numerous facts that contribute to a clearer understanding of it.
People in the past have provided us with experiences from various fields. This enables us to
make more rational decisions, thereby minimizing mistakes based on such experiences and
knowledge. Moreover, they have motivated and inspired many people for centuries. For
example, Galileo Galilei, often referred to as the father of observational astronomy,
influenced numerous scientists in various scientific revolutions. Thus, inspired by his work,
numerous theories and hypotheses have emerged in this field.

In conclusion, divergent perspectives stem from different generations, making direct

comparisons untenable in accepting historical interpretations. In general, history is less
adaptable in our technologically advanced world, particularly amidst significant technological
innovations. However, it's crucial to recognize that these inventions are influenced, to
varying degrees, by past knowledge and advancements.