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A Season in Hell With Rimbaud Dustin Pearson Full Chapter PDF
A Season in Hell With Rimbaud Dustin Pearson Full Chapter PDF
A Season in Hell With Rimbaud Dustin Pearson Full Chapter PDF
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A SEASON IN HELL WITH RIMBAUD
POEMS
DUSTIN PEARSON
First Edition
22 23 24 25 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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II
Regardless,
Watching My Brother Sleep in Hell, a Memory Reminds Me This Too Is Bonding
My Brother Outside the House in Hell
A Dependency
The Day I Told My Brother That Despite It All, I Found a Way to Be Happy
Things I’ve Thought, Things I Do
Pain on a Soft Surface
Hell’s Conditions
Dying Aspects
A Forgetting Statement
A Search Through Liquid Fire
Whirling
Beacon
Lying Down
Human Devices, Unsupervised
The Breeze
III
Hell Swallowed
Sasquatch
Prayers and Preservation
Another Bed in Hell’s Ocean
In Hell’s Ocean I Come upon a Man Wanting His Sons’ Approval
At Some Point, Light Lets Through
IV
Fossil Fuel
An Overgrowth Besides the Body
In Hell’s Jungle, a Knock to No Eye
My Brother’s Two Screams
A Difference
Things I’ve Thought, Things I Do
A Scheme
In the Center of Hell’s Jungle Is a Massive Tree
Still a Loss
VI
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Colophon
I
A Season in Hell with Rimbaud
I don’t like to, but when I think about it, my brother and I had done
the same thing. He walked out of our house into Hell’s engulfing to
get away from voices he couldn’t quell, but being the only one left in
the house, the only thing I could see he got away from was me.
Had I listened to the people my brother shared his life with, the
people volunteering to tell me who he was, I might’ve believed Hell
couldn’t ravage my brother’s body.
Brother, who in your life would you walk through fire for?
If you asked me, I don’t think anyone would come to mind, at least
not anyone on the outside. I considered that a failure in my life.
Where we stood was already burning.
I swallowed a firestorm
walking through Hell. I’d spent
so much time
wandering the flames
my skull’s sharp lines
protruded. My jaw
dislodged itself,
made an oval
at a slant
for that whirling
to work in.
The dark inside
writhed around it,
each sliver folded
in favor of that
violent light, then
I realized I hated
my brother had become
the thing to find,
that perhaps
the storm was one
I conjured
to survive his finding,
and that
if I ever found him,
ever allowed myself
one word
to that occasion,
that violence
might be all
I had left
to give him.
Beacon
One enters a Hellmouth like a snack but exits like a bullet. Crushed
between its lips, the body becomes a beautiful, metallic, and oily
object. Where the lips turn it over, they split. Blood rushes the body
crimson and over the tongue as a pulpy liquid, bubbles acidic down
the tongue’s slope to a throat but no swallow, only a slap against a
back, a wall of red flesh for blood to eat through. The body boils and
reforms again, and when the longest time has passed, the wall
opens. Blood splashes all around you, steams on a white surface and
you realize the steam is a gift. Beyond the mouth, Hell turns to ice.
You can walk awhile feeling almost nothing, a temperature you think
might be normal before your limbs stiffen, before they swell and
blacken. Your body becomes a block, useless to you, but it phases,
and between phasing, you can think. You think about all the invisible
things a body carries inside a mind and you think, if you could just
cut them out, sever them from the body and yourself, there’d be
nowhere left for Hell to find you.
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whole procedure consumes but little time. Anterior drainage will also
be necessary, and the wound may then be closed.
It has been suggested to make the exploration as well as the
drainage from the loin, but this procedure cannot be here advised,
since it leaves too many features in doubt and affords insufficient
means whereby to appreciate and cope with many grave
complications. Calculi, either biliary or pancreatic, which are so often
an exciting cause of these troubles, should be carefully sought for
and removed if present. They could not be revealed nor removed
through any small posterior opening. Other good reasons are also
advanced, since the intensity of the symptoms is an expression of an
intraperitoneal rather than retroperitoneal lesion.
The reader will note that but little has been said as to the
distinction between the hemorrhagic, gangrenous, and other forms of
acute pancreatitis, as these are for the surgeon, as such, side
issues. His paramount duty is to open the abdomen of every such
case, so soon as he can possibly effect arrangements.
Subacute Pancreatitis; Abscess.—Under this term are included
disease processes and lesions
similar to or identical with those described as causing acute and
even fulminating expressions of pancreatic obstruction, but less
severe in their manifestations, less rapid in their course, and more
localized in their boundaries. They are often so associated with a
protective and natural walling off of the area of excitement by
barriers, which outpour of lymph and its consequent condensation
into adhesions afford, that they appear more often as abscess of the
pancreas or hematoma of the lesser cavity of the peritoneum.
So far as concerns its etiology the causes are essentially the same
as in the acute cases, only the results are brought about more
slowly, weeks being in these cases as days in the others. Gallstones
are by all means the most common cause, and the pancreatic
disease is itself an expression of an infection travelling up its duct.
Symptoms.—The symptoms usually include pain, which, however,
lacks the agonizing intensity noted in the more acute cases. Vomiting
is usually associated with constipation, but the vomitus is rarely or
never bloody; jaundice of variable degree is a common feature, and
collapse is rare. Distention of the upper abdomen and tumor
formation come on more slowly. Tenderness is less extreme and
muscle rigidity less marked. While the pulse is less affected the
temperature is usually more so, often running high. Even early in the
case we may note general expressions of septic intoxication, such
as mild chills and a characteristic appearance of the tongue and
face. Constipation is followed by diarrhea; at least the stools which
are fetid contain blood, pus, fat cells, and undigested meat fibers.
Pain is more or less constant, but increased in paroxysms. Loss of
appetite and rapid emaciation are apparent from the outset. Albumin
will be found in the urine, but rarely sugar. The peculiar reaction
described by Cammidge will, according to Mayo Robson, give
uniformly positive evidence. As abscess gradually or rapidly
develops it will cause a swelling, which has its origin behind the
stomach and may displace this viscus, as well as the colon, upward
or downward, presenting usually toward the abdominal wall. In rare
instances the direction of least resistance takes it toward one loin or
the other, where it may appear as a perirenal abscess, or around the
crus of the diaphragm and above the liver, where it would appear as
a subphrenic abscess. It has been known also to burrow along the
psoas muscle and appear at the groin, or even in the left broad
ligament. Abscess of the pancreas may also burst into the stomach,
when pus will be vomited, or into the bowel, whence it will be
evacuated. A sudden relief, with disappearance of tumor, followed by
diarrhea and purulent stools, would indicate this latter termination.
Under these circumstances the abscess cavity may repeatedly refill
and reëmpty itself. Spontaneous recovery in this way is possible, but
septicemia and hectic usually persist until obviated by operation.
Diagnosis.—The history, the evidently septic type of the case, and
the distinct signs above noted will make almost certain the presence
of pus, and Mayo Robson insists that the pancreatic reaction in the
urine (Cammidge) will make clear its location and origin; but, with or
without the latter, the important feature is that there must be a deep
collection of pus somewhere in the neighborhood of the pancreas.
Treatment.—This is necessarily operative, and in such cases as
those now considered there will be plenty of time afforded for all the
precautions known to careful surgeons. The aspirator should never
be used, at least not until the abdomen has been opened, then
usually with caution, lest pus escape along the needle track. The
operation is made as described above for the acute form of this
disease. The greatest care should be given to protecting the general
peritoneal cavity against infection. When adhesions to the anterior
abdominal wall are met they should be separated as little as
possible, only to such an extent as will permit direct approach to the
collection below. Only after the abscess cavity has been thoroughly
emptied, disinfected, and packed with gauze should the surgeon
proceed to clear away or break down adhesions so as to permit a
suitable exploration of the lower surface of the liver and the biliary
passages.
And now perhaps comes the necessity for operative attention to
these latter, as one or many stones may be recognized in the gall-
bladder or the ducts. In this case there must be followed those
general directions elsewhere given in regard to the technique of
operations upon the gall-bladder and ducts. Biliary drainage will in
these cases be nearly always indicated, for which a separate small
opening in the usual position may be made, if desirable, as it
probably will be, for one wishes usually to continue such drainage for
several weeks, whereas it is desirable to have a median incision heal
as rapidly as possible. The question of posterior drainage will also be
raised. Ordinarily it is of advantage, as the time required for anterior
drainage can be materially shortened, the abdominal wound be
encouraged to close, and because the natural effect of gravity is thus
afforded. Moreover, by it the whole period of confinement to bed may
be materially reduced. Therefore, unless the condition of the patient
absolutely contra-indicate, it will usually be a wise measure. In a few
instances it has been possible to drain a pancreatic abscess by a
tube in the common duct, after removal of the stone which has been
obstructing either it or the duct of Wirsung.
PANCREATIC CALCULI.
From the true pancreatic secretions precipitations of mineral salts,
combined with organic elements, may occur, just as from the saliva,
the latter thus furnishing the salivary calculi elsewhere described, the
two varieties having many points of resemblance. Again, calculi,
evidently of biliary origin, may be met with in the pancreatic duct.
The former consist largely of calcium oxalate, combined with calcium
carbonate and phosphate. They may be single or multiple, and vary
greatly in size up to that of a robin’s egg. Hypothetical calculi, with
consequent duct obstruction, have been held to be responsible for
many pancreatic cysts. Thus one may explain cyst formation, even
though no calculi be found at the time of operation.
Calculi reposing within the structure of the pancreas have much to
do with the acute and subacute, as well as the more chronic types of
pancreatitis, the latter when they act alone, the former when to their
essential disturbances are added the possibilities of bacterial
infection.
When pancreatic calculi produce symptoms they resemble those
of cholelithiasis, causing paroxysmal pain, with vomiting, and
perhaps transient jaundice. Glycosuria is an occasional feature.
The condition is rarely diagnosticated previous to operation.
Should a calculus be met in this location during the progress of any
operation it should be removed by an incision made parallel to the
duct, with such closure of the wound in the pancreas as can be
subsequently effected and with ample drainage of the deep wound,
in order that pancreatic fluid may not escape into the peritoneal
cavity. If encountered during operation for pancreatic cyst the same
advice will apply.
C H A P T E R L I V.
THE KIDNEYS.