Every story is special, and every story could be an encouragement by somebody.

Could I say
my story is special? Of course YES! For it is not written by any who, it is written by God.

Hi! I my name John Paul Sabedoria Balderama or call me in short JP, Pau, or Darling with bro.
Standing at age of 21, I was born on October 12, 1998 at Brgy. Pangpang, San Policarpo, Eastern
Samar. I’m the youngest child of our family, but I don’t like to be cuddle secretly since ever. I’m
always busy doing something I actually don’t know, because as my philosophy “if you don’t try a
thing, you will not learn thing” so try a thing bro, promise it will make sense. I’m that kind of person
who really don’t bagging an awards of medal from school every end of school year. I actually
stammered when I’m about read even then, but I can be your best buddy in jokes and mongol
thoughts and also be your teacher in art (I’m a little bit good on that). I sing slightly and I really like
talking with strangers because strangers are more than honest than your best friend.

14 years back. I, ate MJ and my half-sister ate Lilet once a chapel children’s choir in Catholic,
at the same time my beloved mother was a president of our chapel also. I really enjoyed our pack
serving God even I sang terribly and as a kid I actually don’t memorized the lyrics most of the song
but it really felt so good almost shaken my soul. There are times somebody mocking on my family
and said “family religious huh? Always going to church? How insane” and I said “of course because it
is the only way to eternal life dude”. I’m so upset on that time because our family is too religious
since I remembered. We don’t have any absent in Sunday services and we never forgot to pray every
6 pm and giving thanks to God every meal and holiday season. We almost read every stories in the
bible and we know that in the beginning God created the heaven and earth and the earth is formless
and full of darkness, and we also know that God send his son JESUS,he was crucified by the romans
and die to save us from our sin. Simply believing that Jesus Christ is our personal savior, attending
every church services, never forgotten to prayer and completing the attendance of simbang Gabi is
enough. So we do so.

I was in grade when I felt a very heart breaking part of my childhood, that is transferring to
Eastern Samar. I almost cry a pail on that day, because the bunch of our happiness with my ate lilet
will be end up right that day. I gonna miss the bond; laughing together, singing together playing
together, praying together, and most sad, serving God together. I’m so downcast during the travel
from Antipolo to Samar but not knowing there’s another pack of joy. A month later our family joined
a religious group Fundamental Baptist Church. In Baptist Church I enjoyed the vacation bible school
particularly that was every summer, but frankly speaking I don’t trust any one of them; that’s why I
was the only one in our family who never been baptized In their baptism of the father, the son and
of the holy spirit because that time I start to confuse what I really am and do I really belong here?

As the year passing by and my height getting high the confusion I have in my mind is quietly
growing bigger and bigger, almost looping my whole brain. Maybe it’s just a puberty? I said; but I
don’t think so. So I tried things which I saw, maybe it could be part of my missing piece. I try to fix my
hair like Dora even it’s too short, I try to dress up like girls ever it’s too awkward, but I felt alarmed of
what I’m doing, because God doesn’t like me that way, it looks dreadful.

In my mid-teenage that was in high school, I meet a lot of people and I make friend with
different people, they loved me for what I am but I don’t really know what really am. I always
wanted to find my place and to know what really am, for it felt so different with other people, it’s
really so uncomfortable. In finding my place is indeed a big struggle, I seems walking through the
path of nowhere, I feel lost and I feel scared maybe there’s a monster behind my back or something
creepy. Till one day I meet two person who actually looking for something too. So we go together.

As we go together, hand and hand, I feel joy like never been before. Yes we do have a lot of
differences but we have the same in common it’s “feme things”. Jhevon and Elizar are best friends of
mine; I don’t know what I’m going to do without them, for they are my straight when I feel so tress,
they are my encouragement when I’m about to give up, and they are the one who bust my confident
because I’m that kind of person who almost puke when ashamed. I’ve learned a lot with them, I
learned indeed, I learn how to go with the flow in the stream of life, I learn how to fight for the right
and protect myself from the judgmental world, and the best thing I’ve ever learned is accept myself
being so different, because ”being different is more than a gift that God has ever made, your more
than anything because you’re special.”

I do believed in this saying, “High school life is the best days of our lives.” Yes indeed, I do a
lot of things during my high school together with my best friends, we do the liquors at the very first
time and the most worst, we do something very gross that only gays do. Sound so disgusting
reminding this thing but it’s true. After those, I get wilder and aggressive doings bad things. I judge
someone, I provoke someone, I bullied , I hurt someone, I embarrassed someone, I belittled
someone and I will make sure no one would let me down I’m always be top. I’m so boastful for
myself because I can do what ever you told me to do. I can sing, I can dance, I can cook, I can draw, I
can even raise myself in short I’m the best, but those are the things before Christ in my life.

Turning to senior high school such a rush, my best friends led me to the