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 OX
THE A**HOLE CLUB SERIES

BLUE SAFFIRE
 C O NT E NT S

Perceptive Illusions Publishing, Inc.

Words From Blue
Preface
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Epilogue
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Who Am I
The A**hole Club Series
Thank You
Other books by Blue Saffire
Coming Soon…
Check out Blue Saffire exclusives on the
Perceptive Illusions Publishing, Inc.
Ox
The A**hole Series
BLUE SAFFIRE
Perceptive Illusions Publishing
Bayshore, New York
Copyright © 2023 by Blue Saffire.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including
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requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

Blue Saffire/Perceptive Illusions Publishing, Inc.

PO BOX 5253
Bayshore, NY 11706
www.BlueSaffire.com

Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales
and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses,
companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

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Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the
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Ox: The A**hole Series/ Blue Saffire. -- 1st ed.

Words From Blue
You can’t be something you’re not. Be honest, be you, be your own person. And if you have to steal
to be, you've already lost.

―BLUE SAFFIRE
Preface
Promises & Smoke

Anthony

Love. What the fuck is love? I don’t believe in it. Which is why I’m standing here on this cliff,
looking out over Bridge Lake and across Vander, questioning my sanity. I should be down there at the
race, watching my brother’s and cousin’s backs.
I wonder if they’d have love for me if they knew who I was. I snort to myself. Probably not.
Everyone I’ve ever loved has left me. My mother, my father, my best friend, and now Uncle Blake has
gotten himself locked up for some bullshit.
“Get over it and move on,” I mutter to the wind.
At twenty-one, I want to take a chance on people. I don’t want to spend my life being jaded. I
guess that’s why I’m standing here waiting for her. We’re so different but the same. She had me from
hello.
She’s been my secret for a year now. I’m almost afraid to share her with anyone else. We were
just together this afternoon, but I still can’t help this sick feeling in my stomach as I wait for her to
show up.
It’s the same feeling every time. Thinking she’s not going to show, I feel like I can’t breathe. I
don’t want to feel like this, but after Mom, Dad, Will, and now Uncle Blake, I’ve become accustomed
to the ache that comes when they don’t return.
I know my parents didn’t leave me intentionally. They were murdered, taken from this life, taken
from me. However, being so young when I lost them, I’ve never separated the logic between the
difference of loss and death. I can’t shake feeling abandoned.
Uncle Blake promised he’d be home, but he hasn’t gotten out yet. I was once used to being alone.
Then I found her, and everything changed. She showed up when my world was crumbling and I had no
one at all.
I smile as the sound of a motorbike pulling up drags me from my thoughts. I turn away from staring
at Vander City and lay eyes on the one person I’ve allowed my guard down for.
She runs into my arms and wraps around me. My stomach settles and I squeeze her in my embrace.
She palms my face and kisses me as I hold her to me.
I love this girl so much. She’s the world to me. All I have and all I want.
“Hi to you too, Ant.”
“Hey, baby, what took so long?”
“I had to make sure I had someone to cover me for the night,” she says with a smile.
“Meaning you didn’t tell your dad.”
I don’t know why that bothers me so much. It’s not like I’ve told anyone, but I understand why I
haven’t. It rubs me raw that she’s choosing not to say a word to anyone.
“Babe, it’s our wedding night. I don’t want to fight on my first night as Mrs. Knight. Besides, I got
Jenny to cover for me.”
 “What about Shawn and Ven? Did you at least tell your cousins about us?”
She pulls a face. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with Ven all day. We keep missing each other.
Shawn was busy, we didn’t get to talk.”
I grind my teeth. She’s close to her cousins. I was hoping she’d at least tell them about us. That
way it would feel real, and I’d stop having this feeling like I’ll lose her, married or not.
After all, that’s why I asked her to marry me. I figured I couldn’t lose her if she was mine in every
way.
She brushes her thumb against my brow. I love when she does that. It’s a simple gesture, but it
makes me feel special to her. Like she wants to care for me.
I guess telling her best friend does mean something. From what I know, she doesn’t take Jenny
around her family either. Jenny is from a time in her life when she didn’t live as comfortably.
“Listen to me. I’m your family now. Nothing else matters to me. Ven and Shawn are much closer
to each other than they are to me. They have their own things going on all the time.
“You know I don’t fit into that world. Did you tell your uncle about me?” She looks me in the eyes
pointedly.
“No,” I mumble. “But that’s different. He’s locked up. When I go to see him, I’m reporting on
what’s going on out here.”
“With your brother?”
“Yeah.”
I don’t know much about my little brother and sister. They go to boarding school. It’s easier to
keep tabs on my older brother. Now that Uncle Blake is locked up, I wish I could tell them who I am,
but Uncle Blake says it’s not time.
“Forget all that. I love you. I want to get to our wedding night. Come on, Ant, show me what I’ve
been waiting for.”
I move my hands to her plump ass and squeeze. I’ve wanted to tag this ass for an entire year.
We’ve waited because she’s a virgin.
Not that we haven’t come close after I’ve gone down on her or she’s blown me. Looking up into
her eyes, I smile and lean in to take her lips. I devour her as I grow hard in my jeans. She pushes her
hands into my hair and clings to me.
“I love you,” I say against her lips as I break the kiss.
“I love you too. Keep your promise?”
I move to my car and place her down on the hood. I already have our blanket spread out. Up here
is where I proposed, it’s where I’ve told her my secrets, fears, and challenges. This is where we fell
in love.
I look into her eyes. “I’ll always keep my promises to you.” I peck her lips. “Don’t move.”
I step back from between her legs and go to the driver’s side door of my Charger. Ducking into the
window, I turn the radio on and turn up the song. It’s one of her favorites.
Lauryn Hill’s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill album has been on repeat since I met her. Now,
“Nothing Even Matters” fills the air as I walk back over to her.
I cup the back of her head and crush her lips with mine. If I’m going to believe in love at all, it’s
because of her. The warmth of her mouth welcomes me in. I deepen the kiss, wanting this to last
forever.
Moving my lips to her neck, I push my hands up under her dress and squeeze her smooth thighs.
Making my way to her panties, I push them aside and push into her with two fingers.
“Ant, please,” she whimpers.
 Placing my soaked fingers into my mouth, I grin as we lock eyes. I already know she tastes like
heaven, but for some reason she tastes even better tonight.
“Lie back for me,” I command.
She lies back while keeping her eyes on me. I push her dress up to her waist and stare down at her
silky brown legs. Biting my lip, I take in how fat her mound is.
As much as I want to pound her fat pussy out, I remind myself this is her first time and she’s my
wife. I want to make this special for her.
I’m a tall motherfucker at six-six, but I squat down and lift her legs over my shoulders to eat her
sweet pussy. I hum as her juices fill my mouth. She reaches for my hands on her belly and links our
fingers together.
I tighten my hold on her hands as she lifts and twists, trying to run from me. I’m not having it. I
push in deeper and devour every drop.
“Anthony,” she pants. “Babe, oh my God.”
I keep eating until she comes. This was her wish, for me to take her the first time beneath the same
stars where we fell in love, right on the hood of my car where we sat and became best friends.
When she’s soak and wet, I lick my lips and lift as I release my belt and unzip my jeans. Shoving
them down beneath my ass, I hook her legs over my arms and pull her closer. Sliding through her wet
folds but not entering, I keep my eyes on hers.
Her honey-colored depths are filled with so many emotions I allow myself to trust in the love she
gives. Slowly, I push into her. Her upper body lifts off the hood as she cries out.
I get halfway in and stop. I’m by no means a small guy in any respect. I’m a little over eleven
inches at my hardest, with enough girth to stretch the loosest pussy out. However, that’s not the case
here. This pussy is so tight my eyes roll back in my head.
“Fuck, baby. Relax for me. Let me in.”
“Let you in?” she breathes in confusion.
“Yeah, that’s only half,” I groan and tug her closer before I push in a little more.
“Oh my God,” she screams when she pulls her legs back and I slide in more.
I palm her thighs and start to rock into her. She sits up and grabs my face to kiss me. I suck her
tongue into my mouth and groan.
“You feel so good,” I say into her mouth.
She’s so much smaller than me at five-six. It’s nothing to lift her off the car and bounce her on my
length once she opens to me. I throw my head back and look up at the stars.
This is everything I thought it would be and more. She’s dripping down my length. The sound of
her wet pussy fills the air and something within settles.
I place my forehead to hers and breathe her in. She’s about to come, I can feel it.
“I love you, Anthony. I’ll always be yours.”
“I never thought I’d love anyone as much as I love you,” I groan.
I move to place her back on the car and hover over her as I lift our arms over her head. Slowing
the pace, I make love to my gorgeous wife.
She nuzzles my cheek and kisses my face as I rock in and out of her body. Pulling away, I look
down at her as she looks up into my eyes while she bites her lip. My own release rushes me.
I tighten my hands and cover her lips with mine. Right as I start to spill inside of her, the sound of
an explosion grabs both of our attention.
I straighten and look down over Bridge Lake. The red, yellow, and orange flames burst into the
air and turn into thick gray-and-black smoke. My heart starts to pound.
 I pull out and tug my pants up. I’m frozen in place for a moment. My brother and cousin are
supposed to be down there at that race. Pulling my hand down my face, I feel sick to my stomach.
They never learned about me. Have I lost them too?
“Ant, baby, they’re okay.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Alexis. I don’t have a good feeling about this. Let’s go.”
Chapter 1
Breaking News

Anthony

“Breaking news. This just in. The son of Bridge Lake’s local mogul and business tycoon, Ulysses
Kylix has been in a terrible accident.
“As you can see here in the video, two vehicles seemed to have been involved in the collision.
Our sources say there was one fatality. Supermodel Joshua Kylix, who goes by Kelex on social media
and in the fashion and entertainment industry—as you can see on the screen here is in critical
condition and headed into surgery.
“One other local, Takuya Nakamura, seems to be stable but in critical condition. In a statement
from the Kylix family’s publicist, they’ve asked for privacy as they get through this trying time,” the
news reporter says as I stare at my television.
“The police say there’s an ongoing investigation. Sources say this may be a case of street racing
gone wrong. There’s one suspect in custody and another person of interest. However, no names are
being released at this time.”
I turn the television off and blow out a breath. Will is the suspect in custody. By the time we got to
the scene, he was already cuffed and in the back of the squad car. I didn’t know Joshua was the one in
the second ambulance. I only saw them load the young kid.
His back was fucked. I pull a hand down my face. I still don’t know what happened. Everyone
else was gone.
I made some calls. The word is that asshole Jeremy Harris started it all. I couldn’t stand him.
If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him myself. It’s not the first time his name has been linked to
some shit like this.
“Babe, you should eat. I made you some chicken and waffles. It’s our first dinner as a married
couple. I know you’re worried about your family, but there’s nothing you can do about it tonight.”
“Thanks, baby, but I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to stick it in the convection oven to keep it warm, or if you decide to, you
can heat it up.”
I grunt and nod. I know this isn’t how we planned to spend tonight. I owe her more than this. I
stand and follow her into my small kitchen.
I got this place after Uncle Blake got locked up. I didn’t know if his problem would spread. I
needed to put distance between me and the house.
This place is a small apartment in Vander City. Expensive but private. Nothing I can’t afford.
Alexis won’t want for anything. I keep a clean place and I have enough money to hold us over for a
while.
That is if we stay in Vander. I haven’t mentioned the move since the ceremony earlier. With all
that’s going on, I know it’s not the right thing for us at the moment. However, I push that thought aside.
I move behind her and bury my face in her neck. She always smells so nice. Placing my hands on
the countertop on either side of her, I take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t fair to you. Come on, let’s shower. I’ll eat later. For now, we can chill.
Maybe pop that champagne for a toast.”
She turns and wraps her arms around me. “That sounds nice. I wouldn’t mind going another round.
That was so amazing. I’m glad we waited.”
Her phone rings and she pulls it from her pocket. She ignores the call and taps at the device a few
more times before she places it on the countertop behind her. I lift a brow.
“You’re not going to answer?”
“No, that part of my life is over, block and delete. I decided to stop being used the moment I
looked up into a pair of hazel-green eyes. I want tonight to be about my husband.”
I purse my lips and search her face. Her ex hasn’t called in months. I’m not jealous. She’s here
with me. She chose me.
I cup her face and turn it up to take her lips. “I love the way that sounds. Come on. I want you in
my bed.”
I lift her up and head for the bedroom so we can shower before I spend the night making love to
her. For now, I’m going to focus on my little world here. Tomorrow, I can get in touch with Uncle
Blake and find out my next move.
Chapter 2
Happy Home

Anthony

Two months later…

“Baby,” I call into the apartment.

“I’m in here,” she calls back.

Removing my gun from its holster, I quickly place it in the lockbox I keep hidden by the front
door. There are still some things I haven’t told my wife. Not that I want to keep secrets.
I’m just not sure if Uncle Blake will be released, it’s been over a year. If he doesn’t get out, it’s
not looking likely that I’ll need to play my role as the family’s enforcer and I still have questions
about the other role that was sprung on me. That’s why I told Lex we’d go to New York.
“Fuck me,” I mutter as my thoughts race.
Shaking them off, I leave all that shit out there. Once my pistol is securely out of sight, I move to
the kitchen to place the food I bought down.
Then I turn to head for the bedroom where her voice is coming from. When I step into the room,
she’s lying across the bed in a sheer black teddy that leaves little to the imagination.
Alexis is a curvy woman. She’s still toned from running track in high school, but her thick thighs
kiss when she walks, and I’ve caught her jumping into a pair of jeans with that fat ass jiggling a few
times since she’s been sleeping over.
She hasn’t moved in. Something I hate, but I’m holding my tongue as I figure shit out. Uncle
Blake’s lawyer still hasn’t figured out how to get him released, although the charges are bogus. I’m
doing all I’m told to help get Will out.
Every move I make has been blocked. Uncle Blake is steaming about it. That fucker Thaddeus
Pitman is going to pay for all this.
“Babe, come here,” Alexis sings, pulling me back out of my thoughts.
I focus on her glowing brown skin and smile. Kicking off my boots, I then reach to tug my shirt
over my head. Still in my jeans, I climb on the bed and take her lips as I hover over her.
She cups my face and smiles as she kisses me back. I settle beside her and reach to trace her
nipple through the fabric. Alexis has a solid C cup.
Not too small, not too big, but just right to fit in my palms. I love the way her nipples fit into my
mouth. She smells extra nice, like cocoa butter mixed with something else that’s making my mouth
water.
“How was it?”
“I hate seeing him in there. It’s not right. My uncle doesn’t even believe in selling or using drugs.
This is all bullshit,” I say more harshly than I mean to.
“I know. From everything you’ve told me about him, I know. This has to be so hard,” she says as
she moves to straddle my lap. “I thought, as your wife, I could take your mind off things.”
I groan as I palm her ass and squeeze it, pulling her into my growing erection. “Just seeing you has
made my day.”
She leans into my ear. “I can only imagine what sliding inside this wet pussy is going to do. I
missed you, Ant. You’ve been on my mind all day.”
I flip her onto her back and grind my hips into her, allowing my erection to rub against her heat
through my jeans. When I take her lips, I kiss her with all the love I have for her. She claws her nails
down my back, pulling a moan from me.
This is the perfect end to a shitty day. My life has been more peaceful with her in it. Each day, the
moment I see her face, I know things will get better.

***

Alexis

Ant’s mood has improved some after sex, but he’s still a little distant. I want to ease his worries. He’s
always so stressed out about his family.
I know there’re still things he hasn’t told me about them, but I don’t push. I get having family shit
you don’t want to or can’t share. I think that’s what drew us together.
Once we finish the food he brought in, he stands from the table and goes to clear our trash. He’s
only in his boxers, his broad back on display. I fist the hem of his T-shirt I’m wearing and tighten my
thighs around my hand. The shirt is huge on me, but it smells just like him.
I bask in the comfort it brings as I watch him move around in our small space. I get an idea as he
washes his hands at the sink. I get up and go turn on the stereo. I put in my Outkast CD and skip to the
“Hey Ya!” track.
With a smile, I peel off the T-shirt he put on me and toss it aside. Now in my panties and bra—
since he ripped my teddy to shreds earlier—I dance around the living room. He comes around the
little corner of the galley kitchen, so I come into view.
I wink at him and beckon him to me with my finger as I dance around. He shakes his head at me,
but he’s finally giving me a genuine smile. Wanting to make my man laugh and smile, I really go off.
Clapping and dancing, I move around the little living room with all the attitude I can muster. I’m
acting such a clown for this man. I place my foot on the couch as I do my version of the routine from
the video.
I even start to twerk when Dré sings to shake it. Ant surprises me when he crosses the room and
starts to dance his big ass behind me. The song changes and I turn to face him, wrapping my arms
around his waist.
“Roses” bumps through the speakers and we get lost in each other. I still clown to the song and
lyrics, but we’re in our own little bubble. That is until the only neighbor we have starts to bang on the
wall.
I frown. Ant moves to the stereo and turns it down.
“All right, all right, shut the fuck up. We don’t complain when you’re blasting your fucking porn,
asshole,” Ant growls at the wall.
I snicker and fall back onto the couch. “Hopefully our place in New York will have thicker
walls.”
Ant comes over and sits beside me, scooping me up under his arm. He then tugs me close and
kisses the top of my head. I snuggle in and look up at him.
“As long as we’re together, that’s all that counts.” He pecks my lips. “Thanks, I needed that.”
“I love you. I only want to see you happy.”
“I love you too.”
Chapter 3
T hings Change

Anthony

A month later…

Will was released about a month ago. Thank God. It looks like Uncle Blake will be getting out soon
too, thanks to some information Will dropped off for Uncle Blake’s lawyer.

Seth Grayson was picked up after Will’s release. Someone had to answer for that race. Seth,
being the one to organize that circuit on top of having two deaths connected to his particular races—it
looks like he’s going to be the fall guy. I don’t know much about him beyond the races, but better him
than my family.
“Baby, what time do you have to go see your uncle?” Alexis asks as she pops her head in the
room.
I turn to look at her. A smile comes to my face. She has her braids pulled up into a ponytail with
that green shit on her face. I love how comfortable she’s become here. I can’t sleep on nights when
she isn’t here with me.
My stomach sinks. I don’t know about our move to New York. Uncle Blake has been talking about
giving me more responsibility. It looks like I’ll be stepping more into my role. Now isn’t a good time
for me to take off. I just haven’t found the right time to tell Lex this.
“I leave in an hour. You still going to hang with Jenny?”
“Yeah, Ven called to have dinner, but I want to be home when you get back,” she says with a
smile.
“You don’t have to rush back. I planned to get into that new book I bought.”
She enters the room and climbs into my lap. “You know, I think it’s sexy when you read. I
wouldn’t miss the chance to watch you for the world,” she purrs.
“Don’t get that crap on me,” I say and pull my head back as she tries to kiss me.
She mushes me on the forehead with two fingers. “Stop trying to play me, Ant. You’re going to
want all my kisses later.”
She pokes her lip out. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly as I laugh. “You’ll have that
shit washed off your face by then,” I tease.
“Let me up. I’m not talking to you.”
I bury my face in her neck. “You can’t go ten minutes without talking to me. Don’t be mad. I still
love you, my little wicked witch.”
My shoulders shake as I laugh at her. She pushes at my chest and stands. It’s moments like this
when I’m most happy because she makes my world lighter. I don’t know what I would do without her.
“You keep laughing, Ant. Just wait.”
“I’ll bring dinner home tonight. Does that make it better?”
 “I don’t know, I was going to cook.”
“Text me and let me know what you decide. I’ll stop to get something if you change your mind or
if you really don’t want to cook.”
“Aren’t you the perfect husband?”
I stand and tug her into my arms. She turns her face up and puckers her lips. I peck them before I
look down into her eyes.
“Not as perfect as my wife. Seriously, how much longer before you wash that off? I can think of
something I want to do before I have to leave.”
“Give me two seconds. I’ll be right back.” She grins as she backs away toward the bathroom.
I smile as I watch her disappear behind the door. I can’t wait to give her the life she deserves.
Uncle Blake will understand.
I’m not the one who’s getting the big promotion. I don’t think I’ll be missed. Not if things go as I
was told.
Chapter 4
Gone

Alexis

It’s been three months since we got married. I couldn’t be happier. When Ant isn’t trying to visit his
uncle to find out how to help him, I have all his attention. He makes me laugh and smile all the time.
I stare at my husband in his sleep. I love this man so much. I still remember the day I first saw
him.
He’d been at the courthouse. I’d just sat through my ex’s arraignment. I was over him and sitting
there listening to all the trouble he’d gotten himself into had sealed the deal.
I’d gotten outside and to the bottom of the stairs when I saw Ant. We locked eyes as I came out of
my thoughts.
“Hello,” I purred and smiled up at him.
He gave me the sexiest smile and winked at me. It was strange, I could tell he had a lot on his
mind even as he silently flirted. I didn’t get to talk to him past hello that day, but I didn’t forget his
face.
It was a month later when I saw him again. It was at the old track where the rich kids in Bridge
Lake go to hang and show off. I’d been there with Ven, helping her tune the car she’d been working
on.
We often worked in the back garage away from everyone else. It’s not easy being girls who can
work on cars and bikes. It’s better to stay away from the bullshit.
I, for one, like to stay away from the rich kids’ drama and games. When I stepped out of the gate to
get on my bike, there he was, watching his brother through the fence—a fact I would later learn.
I walked over and placed a hand on his waist. “Well, hello again, handsome. You should have
asked for my number when you first saw me. You don’t have to run around town stalking me. You’re
kind of too big for that,” I teased, looking up at him through my lashes.
“I’m not here for you. I don’t have time to chase after girls,” he said like a damn asshole.
I frowned and dropped my hand. “Well, forget I said anything. You have a good one.”
I turned to leave, but he grabbed my wrist to stop me. “Wait, I’m sorry. I’m having a bad day.
My name is Anthony. What’s yours?”
I turned and looked up into his bright hazel-green eyes. His dark hair had these big curls on
top that tumbled into his forehead. It suited his strong, handsome features. I craned my neck back
as he moved closer to crowd my space.
“I remember you. You were outside the courthouse. Right before…”
“Before?” I said and lifted a brow.
“Nothing. Tell me your name so we can get out of here.”
I scoffed. “You might have ruined that already.”
His eyes turned sad. “I hope not. You’ve been the first person to bring a real smile to my lips in
a month.”
 I nodded toward the guys horsing around on the other side of the fence. “You know them?”
He winked. “Answer my question first.”
“Alexis, but everyone close to me calls me Lex.”
“I want to be close to you.”
I pulled a face and looked him over. “You sure? I mean, just a moment ago, you didn’t have
time for me.”
He reached to brush my braids behind my ear. “Just a few moments ago, I had a lot on my
mind. Now, you’re on my mind and I want to get to know you. Come on, Lex. Humor your new
boyfriend. I’ve had a shitty day.”
I smiled up at his tall ass, wanting to listen to his deep voice all day. I knew a lot about having
a bad day, so I gave him a pass.
That day he told me the first time I saw him, his uncle had been arrested for BS charges and he
wasn’t having any luck getting him out or getting bail set. It was that day I started to fall for him. We
were alike yet different in so many ways.
Now, here I am. I’m married to Anthony Blake Knight. My dad is probably going to kill me.
Oh well.
Ant inhales deeply and lifts an arm to wrap around me. I snuggle closer to his side, loving having
his big arm around me. He smells so good, even in his sleep.
“Are you going to sit up and watch me all night?”
“No, I’m just admiring the view for a bit.”
He cracks an eye open. I can’t help it. I lean in and peck his lips. He rolls me onto my back and
smiles down at me.
Gah, this man is huge. I love how safe he always makes me feel. He settles between my legs
while staring into my eyes.
I wrap my legs around his waist and reach to brush my thumb across his brows. His lashes are so
thick and long. He grins down at me as his eyes sparkle.
“You’re so fucking handsome, babe. You know that?”
“I was just thinking about how gorgeous you are. You know, I almost let you walk away that day at
the track,” he murmurs and frowns.
“Who would have thought? I walked up on my future husband stalking his brother and now look at
us.”
He pecks my lips. “Why are you always calling me a stalker?”
I laugh and wiggle beneath him. “You’re going to have to get that under control, you know?
They’re not with that crap in New York. I don’t want to have to be in those streets fighting over you,”
I tease.
He looks away. My heart stops. I lift onto my elbows. “Anthony?”
He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. I move to straddle his waist. Giving him a side
glance, I cup his face and force him to look me in my eyes.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“I can’t go to New York. Not right now,” he murmurs.
“Then what are we supposed to do? My family is bound to find out about us if we stay here.”
“Then tell them about us.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t, or you don’t want to?”
“Both.”
 “So it’s cool for you to ride my dick every night, but telling your family about me is a problem?
Get off me, Alexis.”
“Anthony,” I grind out.
He lifts me and places me on the bed beside him before tossing the covers off and standing up to
pace. I run a hand through my braids in frustration.
“Babe, I know you have a lot on your plate, so I’m going to ignore you acting like an ass. We do,
however, need to figure this out. We were supposed to move. I could work on writing music, and you
were going to bartend.
“My friend is still holding that job for you. We have to figure this out.”
“Come with me to see Uncle Blake tomorrow. No more hiding. I want him to meet you.” He stops
his pacing to look me in the eyes.
“Okay, but, babe, my family is complicated. There’s a reason I don’t think it’s a good idea for me
to tell them about us. Good things tend to go to shit around them.”
“You’re my wife, Alexis. I love you. If you love me, you should want to introduce me to your
family.”
I look down into my palms. When he asked me to marry him, I said yes because we talked about
moving away from here. For once, I want to live a normal life.
I have a gig waiting for me in New York. I write songs and they hand over the brown paper bag.
That was the plan.
We’d start fresh, start our own thing and leave Vander and its drama behind. Once again, my dad
has some bullshit going on. I can tell by the way he’s moving.
I always keep those I care about away from him. Heck, I don’t have to see Bridge Lake for the
rest of my life, as far as I’m concerned. I had planned to give Anthony all the love he’s been longing
for.
Lester Smith doesn’t fit into that equation, my dad ruins things. He ruined the only family I knew. I
won’t let him next to Anthony.
I’ve never known the true story behind my two cousins’ kidnapping. I was in the house using the
bathroom, otherwise, I would have been taken with them. Nothing has been the same since that day.
Shawn and Ven became tighter, and I became the outsider. It’s why I understand Ant so much. I,
too, lost people I cared about. First my mother left, then I lost my grandparents, and it was like
everything else fell apart from there. Money can’t fix everything. Trust me, I know.
“I do love you,” I whisper. “I need you to trust me. My dad has been acting off. I don’t think this is
the time to spring this on him.”
“Okay, so explain why I haven’t met Jenny or Ven and Shawn.”
“First, have you looked in the mirror? My cousins are one thing, but I’m not introducing my fine-
ass husband to another female outside my family, I don’t care if she is my best friend. I love Jenny
like a sister, but nope. That’s not happening.”
He purses his lips at me and rolls his eyes. I lift onto my knees and crawl closer to him. I don’t
want to fight.
“Ant, please. It’s not like you’ll tell me who your cousin is. I figured out Pit’s your brother on my
own. Then you decided to trust me with that story. Who’s your cousin?”
“Lex, I told you that’s something I can’t tell you. Knowing that is more dangerous than knowing
about my siblings. I won’t put you in that danger.”
“Okay, I get that. Can you understand meeting my dad could prove to be just as dangerous?”
A dark cloud comes over his features. This is the side of Ant most people don’t see. The dark side
of him, the side I fear has done and seen dark things.
“You know who I am. Who my family is. I’m not afraid of your father. I wouldn’t have married
you if I were,” he snarls.
“Babe, you took that wrong. Calm down. My father is messy. The rest of my family stays away
from him because of it.”
“I need some air,” he says tightly and snatches up his jeans and boots.
“Ant,” I nearly sob.
“We’ll talk when I get back.”
With that, he storms from the room and out of the tiny apartment. I run a hand under my nose and
move to grab my phone. It rings with an unknown number as soon as I pick it up.
It’s pretty late for someone to be calling. I had planned to call Jenny to clear my head, but this
isn’t her. My stomach twists before I answer.
“Hello,” I say as I pick up.
“Don’t say a word. Don’t hang up. Listen and shut up.”

***

Anthony

As soon as I enter the apartment, I know something is off. It’s too still. As I look around, Alexis’s
things are missing. My chest tightens as I rush through the apartment to look for her.
She’s gone. I flop down on the bed and drop my head in my hands. I didn’t mean to lose it.
I just needed to go for a ride and get my thoughts together. I know I overreacted. She was right.
It’s not like I haven’t asked about her father and heard a bunch of bullshit. I probably shouldn’t be
in a room with him. Not given my role and status in my family.
“Fuck,” I breathe.
I planned to come back and make it up to her. I growl and ball my fists against my face. She can’t
be doing this shit to me. She knows all about my past. If she loved me, she wouldn’t do this.
“Alexis,” I bellow into the empty apartment.
I pull my phone out as the neighbor starts banging on the damn wall. I bare my teeth. Dude makes
all the noise in the world when he’s ready to.
“Shut the fuck up. Eat a dick, bro.”
I dial Alexis. It rings twice before going to voice mail. My heart sinks.
How could she?
Chapter 5
What To Do

Alexis

Sending Ant’s call to voice mail, I stand nervously outside Jenny’s apartment. I almost didn’t come
here. I don’t want to involve her in this mess, but I need someone to talk to.
“Hey, Lex. Come in,” she says as she opens the door. “You all right? You sounded strange when
you called.”
“Kid, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t stay here. I won’t do this to Ant or his family, but
I don’t want to hurt him either. It’s complicated.”
“Hold on. I still don’t understand what’s going on. Sit down, talk to me. We’ll figure it out.”
I sag my shoulders and follow my best friend into her living room. Jenny and I met in elementary
school. She was a year younger than me and really small. Everyone picked on her because she was a
tomboy. I hate bullies, so I stepped in to get them to leave her alone. We’ve been besties since.
I’m the one who started calling her Kid because she hates the name Jenny. I think that endeared
her to me more than sticking up for her. Now, if there’s a fight, Kid is by my side and always has my
back. I love her like a sister.
She’s the only one I’ve mentioned Anthony to, despite what he thinks. I guess I’m so used to
keeping anything good in my life away from my dad. I couldn’t bring myself to expose the most
important person to me to the rest of my world for fear somehow my father would collide with him.
“What’s going on?”
“I got this weird call. I was given two options. Leave, never come back to Vander, and never
speak to my dad again or stay and Anthony and his family would go to jail for all my dad’s shit. He
said he could make it stick.”
“What?”
“Kid, I don’t know what to do. You know what this will do to my dad. I’m all he has left, but I
love Anthony and he loves his family. I could never betray him like this. Either way I’m going to hurt
them both.”
“Can you go to your uncle and aunt? She wouldn’t let anything happen to her brother.”
“My aunt is so sick. Her illness is progressing so fast. Dad is her baby brother. This will only
worry her and use up the little strength she has. I can’t do that to Mayven or Uncle Marvin.”
“Then tell your uncle.”
“Ha, Uncle Marvin would rather allow my dad to burn than get involved in anything concerning
him, even if it’s connected to me.”
She bites her lip, looking nervous. I feel like I’m going to be sick. This is why I didn’t want to
bring Anthony anywhere near my dad. Ant hasn’t met the man, and still, his toxic life is reaching for
him.
“What if we can figure out who this guy is and derail his plan? I’ll help any way I can.”
“Here’s the weird part. I know the voice. It was the DA, Thaddeus Pitman.”
 “What? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, he’s been to the house to see Daddy a few times. I’d know that condescending voice
anywhere.”
“Rumors have been circling Vander for years about him being dirty. People have disappeared
when the rumors grow too loud. I don’t like this, Lex.”
“Me either.”
“When are you and Ant moving?”
“He said we can’t. We had a fight about it before the call. Kid, I feel like shit.
“This is going to hurt him so much, but I think I should run. Dad’s bullshit means more to him than
I do. I’ll sacrifice that relationship for Anthony and his family to stay out of jail.
“The job in New York is off the books, I can hide out there for a while.”
“But that’s going to break his heart. You two sound like you’re so in love.”
“We are. I love him so much. This is killing me, but what else can I do? I already took all my
things with me. I need to run now, or I might not be able to.”
I sit there feeling like I’m five, not nineteen. I’m hurting, and my world is being taken from me. I
lost my mom and grandparents all around the same time.
I was so young, nothing at the time made sense. This feels so much worse. I never wanted to know
this feeling again.
My entire world is imploding. I can’t do this to Anthony, but I have to. If I want to keep everyone
safe, this is the right thing to do.
My heart feels like it’s going to spill from my chest. I wish we didn’t have that fight. However, if I
stay to tell him what’s going on, he’ll try to stop me. This is bigger than us.
“Jenny, I need you to do me a favor. You have to keep an eye on Anthony for me. I need to know
he’s okay. He has so much going on. So much on his shoulders.”
She nods. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Don’t bring him into this. Promise. No matter what, don’t tell him anything.”
“What if he can help? You can run and I’ll tell hi—”
“No, promise. I love that man with everything I am. This is going to crush him. He’ll get involved
and I don’t know what will happen after that. I know there’s something between his family and the
DA, something personal. Please, don’t allow anything else to hurt him.”
I can’t tell her that Thaddeus Pitman isn’t William Pitman’s father. I don’t even know the entire
story, only the bits Anthony has trusted me with. However, the bits I do know are what’s telling me I
should run and never look back if I want to protect my husband.
“I promise, Lex.”
I burst into sobs. This would be my life. I’m losing everything I love. Ven, Shawn, Kid, and my
husband. I have nothing left.
Chapter 6
T he Muscle

Ox

Two years later…

The biggest mistake people make about me is thinking I’m slow because of my size. At six-six, a solid
two hundred and seventy pounds, I know how to move when I have to. This motherfucker is about to
realize his mistake.

He’s only pissing me off by making me chase him. I jump over the trash can he turns over to slow
me down as we run up this alley. My heavy boots pound the pavement as I gain on him.
Even with a head start and sneakers, he’s not going to get away from me. I’m not even panting as I
charge after him. If anything, I’m going to make this hurt more.
He goes to climb the fence at the end of the alley. I let him get halfway up before I grab his ass by
the back of his shirt and slam him to the ground. Thieving son of a bitch.
“Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, still think you have a chance to get away?” I snarl as he rolls around on the
ground groaning.
I stomp on his hand and close my eyes as I savor the crunching sound of his bones crushing. He
won’t be using that hand to steal anytime soon.
I lick my lips as if tasting justice for his crimes in the air. It’s simple. If my family allows you
Grace in Vander City, you respect that. Earn what’s yours and don’t touch what’s ours.
This motherfucker felt entitled to things that didn’t belong to him. Now I’m here. The one Knight
you don’t want to see coming.
“Let’s go. I don’t have all night,” I bark.
“Please,” he gasps.
It’s too late for that. I grab him by his hair and drag him back the way we came. He asked for this.
I wouldn’t be here if his ass didn’t have sticky fingers. He thought he was smart enough to steal from
our family.
In concept, he had a good idea. Crossing over into Sunnyside to make his transactions and setting
up shop there too. He kept all his dealings with our stolen money west of Sunnyside, in the opposite
direction of Vander.
All outside of where Uncle Blake would be watching. Or so he thought.
“You’re one dumb bastard. He warned you if you fucked up, I was coming,” I snarl. “Now, I’m
getting calls in the middle of the night and you tried to run. Now I’m pissed.”
I get him back into his office, where Odell—one of Uncle Blake’s guys, is setting up for me. I nod
at the tall, dark-haired man my uncle sends to assist me on jobs like this. I wouldn’t say we’re
friends.
He’s here to do a job like me. I trust him to do his part while I do mine. When it’s done, he’ll
report to Uncle Blake as usual.
I’m good at what I do. I think it’s a place for me to put all this rage inside me. I’ve been looking
forward to these calls more and more lately.
If I’m not working out or going to class, I have too much time to think, which leads to thinking
about her. I’m so tired of thinking about my missing wife.
“Oh God,” the asshole cries as I punch him in his gut after we have him strung up.
“Shut up. I’m just getting started. I’m not about to listen to your ass whine through this ass
whipping.”
“Fuck you,” he chokes out.
“Oh yeah, that’s right. You have a mouth on you.” I punch him in the face and knock out a few
teeth. “Still in a talking mood?”
He whimpers and spits out blood. I roll my shoulders and focus on the task at hand. Uncle Blake
wants him to hurt for the money he stole, but he doesn’t want him dead. Not yet.
I spend the next hour tenderizing this dude like a piece of meat. Odell has to stop me before I take
things too far. The room comes back into focus as he places a hand on my shoulder.
John-John—another of Uncle Blake’s guys, comes into the room. He looks my handiwork over
and shakes his head. I shrug and pull out a handkerchief to wipe my hands.
Looking down at my knuckles, I can’t help wondering how I got here. What would my life have
been like if I did take off and leave all this behind? I shrug the thought off.
I’d probably still be empty. She still would have fucked me over and left. I’m right where I should
be.
“The boss just called,” John-John says. “We have one more stop.”
“Fine. Let’s go.”
I turn and leave this mess behind. I guess this is better than sitting alone in my apartment thinking
about what today is. Climbing on my bike, I pull out my phone and see the address for our next stop.
I take off as the guys pull out in their SUV. Someone is about to feel the pain I feel as another
anniversary passes. Sorry bastard.
Oh well. I don’t show up unless it’s deserved.
Chapter 7
Your Brother

Anthony

“Ah, Anthony. I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Uncle Blake croons as I walk into his office.
I look my uncle over as he gives me a broad smile. He still looks good for his age. Though his
beard is still salt and pepper, his hair has turned more white since his time in jail. His Greek-Italian
heritage is strong in his features.
From what I was told, the last name Knight came from the migration to America. My great-great-
great-grandmother came over with the family she worked for. The wife of the family died during the
voyage and the husband married my great-great-great-grandmother shortly after they arrived.
The rest is history. Vander City and Bridge Lake history. I shake those thoughts away, knowing I
can’t shake away who I am or what it’s cost me.
“I got your text. Is everything all right?”
“That’s what I would like to know from you. John-John felt I needed to see your last two jobs,” he
says and lifts a brow.
“Okay, I got it done.”
“You don’t think you went a little overboard?”
“No.”
He sighs. “I’ve been in your shoes. I know when personal issues start to manifest in our line of
work.
“You’ve been drawing into yourself more and more lately. You haven’t been to the house much
and I had to hear from your guidance counselor that you have a 4.0 GPA and you’re scheduled to
graduate a year early.”
“I started taking twice the course load every semester. In order to have them sign off for me to
keep taking twenty-one credits, I have to keep my GPA up,” I reply and shrug. “It’s not like I have
much else going on. Last night was nothing.”
“That’s just it. I think you should have more going on. You can get lost in what you do and that
wasn’t nothing.”
“I may have needed to blow off some steam. Better I do it on a job than get into trouble in my real
life. It’s not like I do jobs all the time. It’s not likely to happen again anytime soon. Besides, the job
got done.”
“Yes, well, I need you to do something for me. Your brother is doing well with the bar and the
side business. He’s living up to my expectations and then some, but that’s going to draw more and
more attention.
“I think it’s time you step into his life. You know, watch his back. It’s a way for you to get to know
him as well.”
My heart races. I’ve wanted to be a part of Will’s life for so long. He was once my best friend
when we were little. I was so sad when he and his mom stopped coming around and Dad was gone
too.
“Can I tell him who I am?”
“No, not yet. You should use your nonna’s maiden name.”
“Amato?”
“Yes, that will throw everyone off. We’ll keep your connection to me to ourselves for as long as
we can. All things will be revealed at the right time.”
I want to ask him about my maternal grandfather. The man I met while he was in prison. However,
I keep the knowledge I have of my mother’s father to myself, like I was told to.
Growing up in Bridge Lake, you learn to keep your family’s secrets and this family has a ton.
Pushing those thoughts to the side, I think of Will. I wonder if he’ll remember me on his own.
We were so young, but those days were some of my best. My mother was gone, and it was just me
and my dad. I loved when I got to play with Will and forget the sobbing I’d hear at night.
Now that I’m older, I think my father blamed himself for my mom. I came to that conclusion one
night while talking to Alexis. As soon as I think of her name, I shut my thoughts down and frown.
“How should I play this?” I ask my uncle instead of going down that rabbit hole.
“I already told him I’m sending over a new bartender for him to interview. The rest is on you.”
I enjoy bartending. I think that’s why I majored in psychology. I wanted to understand people.
Bartending allows me to get to know the people I serve.
A part of me wants to learn how to make people stay—however weird that may be. People come
to drink and leave. Yet, I feel like if I learn about them and understand them as they sit and spill their
troubles while I attend to them, I’ll understand how to keep the people in my life around. It’s just a
theory.
“No problem, I can handle that,” I reply to my uncle.
“Head over there tonight. He’s expecting you.”
“Thanks, Uncle Blake.”
“Stop by the house to see me more often. We have a lot to talk about.”
“I will.” I stand and go to walk out.
“Anthony.”
I turn to look back. “Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you. I know things were hard when I was away. I’ve never had a chance to talk to
you about it. Now you seem to never want to talk, but this school thing… I know your father and
mother would be just as proud. You’re a smart kid. I only want the best for you.”
“I know, Uncle Blake. I’m all right, I promise.”
If only that were true. I want answers from my wife. I want this pain she left behind to stop. I’ve
thrown myself into school to forget about her.
Chapter 8
Ox

Ox

I don’t know what hurts more, not being able to tell Will who I am or him not remembering me. I’m
trying to play it cool, but I wish I could pull my brother into a hug.
It’s bad enough I probably pissed him off by calling him Will when I arrived. I think that’s when I
fucked up. He’s not going to hire me. I see it in his eyes.
“Listen, I agreed to interview you because Blake asked me to. I’m going to be real. Your big ass
don’t belong behind my bar and I’ve hired all the bouncers I need.
“You tell Blake I said thanks,” Pit says and turns from me to look out into the crowd that has
grown on the dance floor since we came out of his back room.
I sit trying to figure out how to fix this interview. A short brown-skinned chick catches my
attention, she seems to be who Pit has homed in on too. As he saunters over to her, a fight breaks out
around her.
Pit rushes toward them, pulling the girl out of the way and pushing her behind him. The four dudes
are brawling at this point. When Pit goes to break them apart, one of the guys swings and catches him
with his sloppy punch.
I jump into action as Pit starts swinging. The girl goes to jump in, catching one guy with a nice
right hook. Pit knocks out the guy who hit him and looks at the other two still fighting with annoyance.
I kiss my fist before knocking out the one the girl punched as he looks as if his drunk ass is
considering punching her back. Before Pit knows what’s going on, I have the other two dangling by
their collars.
My chest is heaving only slightly. “Some bouncers,” I snort. “It’s always good to have a bartender
who can control the floor if needed. I’m a master mixologist, by the way.”
Pit snorts. “What did you say your name was again?”
“Anthony.”
“Yeah, okay, Ox. You’re hired.”
I sigh in relief and laugh. I didn’t know how much I wanted the job until this very moment. He can
call me Ox as long as I have it.
“I’m Skittles, it’s nice to meet you,” the girl says with a smile on her face.
“Rule number one. She’s always safe when here. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the crew when
they come in. Only other rule I have is no fucking the staff. I don’t need any in-house drama. Keep
your dick out of my waitresses and bartenders.”
“You’ve got it. I’m here to work.”
He grunts and nods. “You can toss their asses outside,” he says, nodding to the guys I’m still
holding up.
“Got you.”
“Damn, that’s one big motherfucker,” Skittles says as I go to walk away.
 “Yeah, you keep your hands off my staff too,” Pit grumbles in response.
“Bite me, Will,” she tosses back at him tauntingly.
For the first time in a long time, I get the feeling that I might belong somewhere. I think that was
Uncle Blake’s point. I’ve been distancing myself from everyone to mask my real feelings.
My rage is growing and I don’t think I’m hiding it as well as I think I am. Being around my brother
might be what I need.

***

Alexis

I look around this studio and wonder how this became my life. I love writing music and have penned
some hits, but this isn’t how I saw things working out.
I miss my husband. It’s been two years, and nothing has changed. I can’t go back, and I keep my
distance as much as I can.
Kid is my only connection to Vander, who I keep in touch with. I still hold my breath whenever I
see her number on my phone.
The first year was rough. First, there was her call to tell me my ex was murdered. Then she called
to tell me when Ven’s mom died.
From what she knows, Ant hasn’t been happy. It makes me sick to my stomach. Every day I ask
myself if I’m doing the right thing.
When my aunt died, I wanted so badly to go home and be there for Ven. I lied and told her I was in
Paris writing and couldn’t get back because of a deadline for the album I was working on. I was away
working, but I could have made the trip if not for the threat.
The sorrow in her voice was so thick as she asked if I ever thought about coming back to open
that bike and car shop we used to dream about. I do, I do all the time, but there’s no way.
“Hey, gorgeous. How’s this one coming along?” I look up to find Eric standing over me.
He works for one of the labels. This guy doesn’t understand the word no. I’m not interested, but
he hasn’t given up. These industry guys aren’t my type. Most of them are always kissing ass for the
next come up.
I’m not kissing anyone’s butt for anything. Either you want to work with me, or you can kick rocks.
I know my talent and I know my worth.
“It’s coming along. Will the artist be here soon?”
“She’s on her way. You know how they can be. This one has that thing, though. I think we can take
her places with the right songwriter,” he says as he gives me what I’m guessing is his sexy smile.
Nah, he’s too square for me. I think that’s what made me fall so hard for Ant. Even before
knowing who his family was, I knew there was something dangerous about him.
I guess I did marry someone just like my daddy. Go figure. Eric is probably the kind of guy I
should be attracted to. Yet my heart will never allow for that.
“Did you hear what I said?” Eric asks.
“No, no. This song is talking to me. Sorry, I zoned out.”
 He shrugs and chuckles. “I asked if you thought about that date?”
“Oh, no. I’ve been busy. A lot of work has been coming in since that Grammy.”
“Ah, yeah. Makes sense. I’ll let you get back to it, but you let me know when things calm down
and we can catch a bite to eat.”
I tuck my braids behind my ear. “Sure, will do.”
I’m lying my ass off. I have no intention of going on a date with him. I don’t care if I miss sex and
cuddling. I want my husband. If I can’t have him, I’m good.
My phone rings, pulling my attention. Seeing it’s Kid, I answer quickly. I wait for her calls with
bated breath as she keeps me updated on Ant and his life.
“Hello.”
“You’re never going to believe who just walked into my job and got hired as a bartender.”
“No way, really?”
I had been nervous when Kid first told me she works for Pit. I still haven’t shared with her Ant’s
secret. She wouldn’t know that his brother had just hired him.
“Yes, ma’am. Walked in here and nailed the job after breaking up a fight… That your cousin was
smack in the middle of.”
I groan. “Ven can’t seem to stay out of fights, can she?”
“I’m mad you knew I was talking about her.”
“Ha, you sure aren’t talking about Shawna. The sky would be falling and burning before that girl
confronts anything.”
“I just thought you’d want to know what your husband is up to. Don’t worry. This will be the
perfect opportunity for me to cockblock.”
“Kid,” I drag out.
“Listen, there will be a time when you can return to your husband. I want to make sure he’s not
disease ridden when that time comes.”
“I love you. You know that, right?”
“Yes, and you love him too. So I’ve got your back.”
“Listen, the singer I’m writing for just walked in. I have to go.”
“Talk to you later, love.”
“Later, best.”
Chapter 9
Warning

Alexis

A year later...

I’m scared to breathe. When Kid called with the news of Thaddeus Pitman’s indictment, I thought I
was dreaming. I was so nervous about booking a flight home, but the thought of finally being in my
husband’s arms pushed me forward.

I know I have a ton of explaining to do, but I can’t help hoping Anthony will listen to me. It’s been
three years, but I never stopped loving him. If I can make him see that, I can get him to understand all
I’ve done for him.
I came to Sunnyside, the town on the other side of Vander City. Kid plans to meet me here and
we’ll ride into Vander in the morning. I’ll need the support to make those final steps.
“Hi, I have a reservation for Lex Smith.”
“Ah, yes, here I have you. One night. I’ll need your ID and a credit card for the charges.”
“Hold on, one sec,” I say as my phone rings.
I hand over my information quickly and take my phone out. Not knowing the number, I get this
sinking feeling in my stomach. I debate on not answering it, but I know I have to.
“Hello.”
“You think you’re on your way home?” The person on the other end says. The first thing that
stands out is the distortion of the voice. “This is bigger than Thaddeus Pitman. He was just a means to
an end. You think your family and your boyfriend are the only ones with corrupt connections?
“All I had to do was mention who your father and boyfriend are and Thaddeus was more than
willing to make that call. This isn’t over. You don’t get to have a fucking happy ending.
“This is all your fucking fault. You step one foot into Vander or Bridge Lake and it all falls
down.” With that, the nutjob hangs up.
“Excuse me, Ms. Smith. We have a package here for you. It arrived this morning,” the clerk
behind the desk says, handing me a manila envelope.
I take it with shaky hands and open it. I pull out a ton of pictures. My mouth falls open as I skim
through them. The pictures are of Anthony and all the people surrounding him. Pit, that fighter who
lives in Vegas, the little singer, the tat guy, that former model, and Mayven.
She’s right in the center of most of the pictures. I stop at one picture and run my finger over Ant’s
face. He looks so handsome even as he’s brooding.
My cousin and my man are more important to me than anything. I know what I’m going to do
before I get to the last picture that seals the deal for me. Pit and Ant are smiling together.
Anthony has real joy on his face. All his life, all he has ever wanted was to be a part of his
brother’s life. Let him tell it, and Will was once his best friend.
 I don’t know what all happened, but to see them smiling together now, I can’t go back and see that
all ruined.
“You can cancel that room. I won’t be staying after all.”
Chapter 10
Loss

Alexis

Three and a half years later...

My heart hurts. I gasp and drop to my knees with the phone still to my ear. I can’t believe what I’m
hearing. Wrapping my free arm around my waist, I rock back and forth as I allow Kid’s words to sink
in.

“I’m so sorry, honey. I hate that I had to call you with this.”
“This doesn’t make sense. My father wouldn’t do this. Are you sure?”
“The news confirmed it. I’m so sorry.”
My mind bucks against her words. My father wasn’t the type to commit suicide. He had his issues,
but I can’t believe he’d do this. He was always about his own survival.
Why would someone who put his own nieces in danger to save his own ass turn around and kill
himself? Unless… I never believed he did it to begin with. Yeah, Daddy did some shit and ran in
some rough circles, but that, now this.
I can’t wrap my head around it. This just doesn’t seem real. The worst part is, I don’t know if his
crimes have died with him.
My first thought is to go back and see to a proper burial. However, I don’t want to risk another
warning.
My heart sinks. With my father gone, I’ve lost all hope that I’ll ever be able to return. Kid had just
started to report that something had changed with him. I was so hopeful.
I thought I could finally count on him. I was just working up the nerve to ask for his help to get out
of this.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye. I never got to explain. What have I done?”
“I knew you would go there and blame yourself. This isn’t your fault. Your dad has always had a
lot going on.”
“I need to bury him. I have to come back.”
She’s silent on the other end for a while. I sniffle and wipe my nose on my sleeve. My heart stops
because I know she’s about to drop another bomb on me.
“What? What haven’t you told me?”
“There isn’t a body. He jumped off the Bridge Lake Bridge.”
“What?”
“I… I don’t know how to tell you all of this.” She blows out a breath. “His car was found on the
bridge. His suicide note was in the driver’s seat.”
“Oh my God.”
“They’ve been combing that river, but still no body yet. I say you shouldn’t risk the trip if there’s
no body to lay to rest.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I’m so sorry, honey.”
“Me too,” I sob.
Chapter 11
New York

Anthony

Four and a half years later…

I was supposed to meet up with this chick I’ve been talking to online, but as soon as the planed
landed, I changed my mind. Instead, I thought I’d take a walk and get a burger or something
somewhere.

I thought about asking Pit to come along, but he’s been in a shitty mood since we boarded the
plane in Vander. I have my own attitude tonight. New York… this race would be in the one city I
loathe. This is where I was supposed to move to with my wife.
I’ve hated this place like it owes me something for years. I’ve always wondered if she’s here. Is
she happy? If she is, I’d love to shit all over that.
How fucked up can you be to know how fucked up I was and walk out on me? She never loved
me. If she did, she’d still be with me. Every time I hear the name Smith, I snarl.
It’s crossed my mind a time or two to go to her father, maybe ask him where she is. Then he
committed suicide. She didn’t even show up around the time I heard about it. Heartless bitch.
Still, I’ve even thought to ask Pit if he could find Ven and Shawn so I could ask them about her.
Bridge Lake is small, but I’ve never met any Black dudes named Ven or Shawn, something I’ve
always found strange. Ven would be closer to my age. I think Shawn is a few years younger than
Alexis.
However, I’ve come to wonder if anything she told me was true. As far as I know, it was all lies.
One after another, after another.
“Oh, excuse me. Sorry.”
I freeze. I’d know that voice anywhere. I turn slowly to the woman who just bumped into me.
When I look down, I lock gazes with light honey-colored eyes in a pretty brown face. I clench my
fists at my sides. I can’t believe my eyes. As much as I hate to admit it, she looks good. Really good.
“Ant?” she gasps. “Oh my God, I was just talking about you. This is crazy.”
“You think? I’ve been wondering where you’ve been for almost eleven years. What could you
possibly have to say to anyone about me? That you fucked up my life when you walked out on me?”
She looks down at her feet. I’m coiled with so much rage. People step around us on the busy
sidewalk, but I can’t force my feet to move out of the way.
Some dude comes up behind her and wraps an arm around her waist. I glare at his arm, wanting to
rip it from his body.
“You okay, baby?” he says.
“Um, yeah. Eric, this is Anthony,” she says nervously.
“The Anthony?”
 I glare at the two of them, ready to choke this guy out. It’s when she places her hand over his on
her waist that I see red. She has a huge rock on her finger. One I didn’t put there.
“Um, yeah, that Anthony.”
“This is perfect,” the dude croons.
“Uh, Eric, don’t.”
“Buddy, we were just talking about you.”
“Eric,” Alexis says more firmly.
“I’ve asked Lex to marry me. I didn’t know she was already married.”
“Eric,” she repeats as I glare at this dude.
“Can you imagine my surprise? You haven’t come up once in the last year.”
“Eric.”
“Anyway… she was going to give you a call about the divorce, but here you are. I can have the
papers drawn up in the morning.”
“Eric,” she growls loudly this time. I scoff as I give her the look of death. He turns to her with a
look of surprise on his face.
I call bullshit. I know insecure when I see it. He wouldn’t shut up on purpose.
“Do you mind giving me a minute?” Alexis says.
“No problem. I’ll be over there. I want to call my family with the news.”
“Okay,” she says with a tight smile. “Anthony, listen, I know this all seems messed up. He just
proposed tonight. I told him I’d say yes if I could get a divorce.”
“Yet, you have the ring on your finger,” I bite out.
“Only because he insisted. Ant, I’m only trying to breathe and get through—”
“Through what? You walked out on me. You left without a word. Now you’re engaged?”
“You don’t understand. I didn’t want any of this to happen. None of this is what I wanted.”
“You know what, I’ll give you what you want. I’ll be here for at least another day and a half. You
get me those papers, I’ll sign.”
I pull my card from my pocket and hand it to her. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. Fuck her
tears.
“How have you been?” she breathes.
“Like you care,” I sneer and turn to walk away.

***

Alexis

“I know you said he was a big guy, but damn,” Eric says beside me in the cab.
Oh God, why does he sound so corny right now? I mean, he’s never had any real swag, but it’s
amplified now after seeing Anthony. I miss my husband so much. I almost called him Ox. The
nickname is fitting.
I wish he knew how much I care and know about his life. I’ve never stopped caring. I only started
seeing Eric because I was lonely.
 At thirty, I miss being a woman in all senses of the word. I left that behind with Anthony. Just
seeing his face brought back so many memories.
Not that I’ve allowed myself to go there with Eric, but I thought maybe I could, eventually. I’m
lying to myself. However, I can’t go back to Vander or Bridge Lake and New York is such a lonely
place to be.
Always people around, but still no one to call your own. I got tired of writing songs and eating
Chinese food in my apartment by myself. The pain of my father’s suicide left me feeling depressed for
a while.
I mean, my one and only attempt to go back home was an epic fail. I ran back to New York so fast
my head spun. Kid has been the one to keep me from falling completely apart. I’m so grateful to her
for her visits and reports.
Eric has been asking me out for years. When word got back to me that Anthony had been flirting
with Kid—my own damn spy and best friend, I went through the stages of grief before deciding
maybe it was time for me to move on.
Eric happened to ask me out at a really vulnerable moment, and I said yes. Kind of like tonight
when he proposed. I had no intention of trying to get in touch with Anthony to ask for a divorce.
I thought I’d give it some time and then I’d say I couldn’t reach him or something before breaking
things off. Eric can be persistent, so I thought this was the best way to handle him. Then I smacked
right into Anthony.
“I’d say this was destiny, baby,” Eric rambles on.
I say nothing. I don’t know what made me introduce them. I was stunned.
Part of me was fighting to not jump into Anthony’s arms. He looked so angry. Maybe it’s time I set
him free, even if I don’t plan to marry Eric.
“You know, if I weren’t a self-confident guy, I’d be nervous after seeing that guy,” Eric says, his
voice betraying his words.
“Nothing to worry about. That’s water under the bridge,” I say, the words tasting like ash.
“I’ll have my lawyer draw up those papers ASAP. We can catch him before he leaves town.”
“Aren’t you flying out tomorrow?” I say absently.
“Not until late tomorrow night. I can be there with you to get the signature if you like.”
“No, I’ll take care of it. Maybe he can come by the session or something.”
“Right, you’re writing for that new singer. You’re booked for the studio tomorrow,” he says the
words as if he’s relieved.
Gah, how has this become my life? Every time Ven has asked me to come back to Vander to go in
on her business and start a motocross division, I’ve wanted to run back. Don’t get me wrong, I love
making music and have penned a number of hits, but I miss home more than I ever thought I could.
“Hey, babe, I can’t come up tonight. I need to go home and pack for my trip,” Eric says, breaking
into my thoughts.
I want to know who invited him up. He hasn’t been up to my apartment in the year that we’ve been
seeing each other. I hope he didn’t think our engagement earned him a pass. If ever I wanted to call my
father and tell him to fix his shit, now would be that time for sure.
I wonder if he could have turned this around. Before his death, Kid said he still ran in the same
circles even as his patterns were changing. Vander’s shadows, the people who move the city but
aren’t seen.
I know my father was involved in things that could get Anthony some serious time. Probably not
as much time as my father would have served himself, but still nothing light. I rub my temples as my
thoughts weigh me down.
“That’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say politely to Eric.
Stepping out of the cab, I head into my apartment building. As I ride up in the elevator, I close my
eyes and swear I can smell Anthony’s cologne. I pull the card from my purse and stare at it. It’s a
simple navy card with silver writing. Bold and strong like the man himself.
“I miss you so much,” I say into the quiet of the elevator.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I want my life back, but I can’t hold him back. If I can’t return,
it’s time I let him go. Maybe Eric is right, and this is fate’s way of making me set my husband free.
Chapter 12
Nothing Matters

Anthony

I’m still pissed about the Skittles situation. I don’t like all the trust we’re putting into this Danny dude.
He could turn the tables at any time, but I also know it’s not time to reveal who I am.
Shawna seems to mean a lot to Skittles. I know the feeling. Pit and Leo have no idea how much I
care or what I’d do for them. Scarlett can drive you crazy, but if some guy ever put his hands on her,
I’d take his life without thinking.
That leads me to another thought. I heard everything Skittles said, but my mind keeps telling me
the picture is much bigger than what we’re looking at. I shake my head clear. I have no doubts we’ll
handle whatever is going on.
I look down at the text on my phone and then back up at the door I’m standing in front of to make
sure it’s the right one. It’s late, I’m not trying to ring the wrong doorbell. New Yorkers are different.
There was a time when I would protect the woman behind this door with my life. If she were in
danger, I’d turn the world inside out for her. Now, knowing she’s on the other side of this door, my
mouth fills with a bitter acid-like taste.
I contemplate shitting on her doorstep and leaving. Fuck signing her divorce papers. She can
figure that shit out on her own time.
I force myself to ring the bell before I decide to do something crazy. Leaning against the
doorjamb, I wait. When she cracks the door open, my breath is taken away.
Last night her hair was pulled up on top of her head in a ponytail. Tonight, it’s in silky straight
layers that frame her face. It throws me back in time to when we first started dating and she took her
braids out. She’d gone to get a wash and set, as she called it.
When she showed up for our date, she looked much like this. It’s stunning on her. It makes her
small brown face doll-like. Her full lips and button nose stand out.
I was always a little disappointed when she’d put the braids back in. My brain tickles for a
moment, telling me I’m missing something. I shake the thought off as she backs up and opens the door
wider.
I step inside and I’m hit hard by that cocoa butter and fruity scent that always clings to her skin.
My sheets smelled like her long after she was gone. I loved and hated it.
“Can I get you something to eat or drink?”
“No,” I say sternly and have to bite down on the rest of my harsh words.
Looking around, I find myself with so many questions. What didn’t I do? Why didn’t she stay?
Why couldn’t she wait?
I never said we wouldn’t move, I only said I couldn’t go right at that time. Was she really that
embarrassed by me? I tighten my fists against all those questions I refuse to ask.
“I stopped to get a few beers in case you wanted one. I’ve had a few wine coolers to settle my
nerves,” she says nervously.
 “I have a flight to catch tomorrow. It’s late. Where are the papers?”
“Oh, okay,” she says softly, dropping her head.
I turn to take her in. It’s not lost on me that she’s nervous. Why?
“Where’s Derrick?”
“It’s Eric,” she scoffs. “He should be at the airport, I guess.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “You don’t know if your fiancé is at the airport or not? Good luck to
him.”
“Ant—”
“Papers, Alexis.”
She stares up at me, tears gathering. Fuck her tears. I pull a face and lift my hands as I shrug.
“You want this, so let’s go. You already called me out late as fuck for this shit.”
“You said you’re leaving tomorrow. I had a sixteen-hour block out. I told you to come to the
studio…”
She trails off as I glare at her. I had to be at the race to watch Pit’s back. I’d never leave him
hanging for her again. By the time the party started at the hotel, it felt like I needed to be there. Not
here, signing for some shit I never asked for.
Don’t ask me why I don’t want this divorce. I don’t know what I want anymore.
“I’m here on business. I didn’t have time. It’s now or never.”
She nods. “Okay.”
She turns her back to me and I swear she gives a quiet sniffle. I follow her to the table in her
dining area. This is a cute place, bigger than my first apartment in Vander. Was that the problem?
“Who cares?” I say under my breath.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure I can’t get you something?”
I drop my gaze to her ass. She’s always had a nice ass. She’s seat heavy, that shit that looks
amazing bouncing on your dick and feels just as good in your palms. Not a full bubble, but a fat pear.
She looks over her shoulder at me and smiles. I’m not falling for that shit. She’s poison and I
know it.
Her phone buzzes on the table next to the papers. She looks down at it and frowns. I catch a
glimpse and read the text.
Eric: Did he sign?
I don’t know why that shit makes me see red. I reach for the phone and unlock it. I look at her and
lift a brow. She still uses my birthday for her code. She bites her lip as she looks at me through her
lashes.
Alexis: No
I text that asshole back. Closing out her text app, the soft music playing in the apartment registers.
Wanting to know how much else hasn’t changed, I open her music app.
Sure enough, I find what I’m looking for in her recently played. I change the song to “Nothing
Even Matters” and set the phone down. Payback is a bitch. Something she’s about to learn.
I’m going to fuck her to within an inch of her last breath before I sign this bullshit. I crowd her
space, backing her into the nearest wall. She places her hands on my chest and bites down on her lip.
I drop my eyes down to her blouse that gapes open, revealing the tops of her breasts. Smoothly, I
palm one and reach to cup her ass with the other hand. Looking down into her honey-colored eyes, I
get lost for a moment. The room is charged with undeniable energy.
 I ghost my lips over hers, then move to do the same with my nose. How can we have this and
mean nothing to each other? I know she has to feel it. I quickly shut that thought down.
“Fuck your fiancé. You were mine first,” I say in her ear.
“Anthony,” she breathes as I pop her jeans open and shove my hand inside.
She’s wet and I’ve barely touched her. I work her pussy as she lifts on her toes. She looks me in
the eyes as if pleading.
“You’re still my wife. Let me fuck you one last time before I erase you from my memory for the
rest of my life.”
Pain fills her eyes. Good, let her feel how I felt. Not that this is real, she’s acting. She never cared
for me.
I take her lips before she speaks, and I change my mind. The moment our lips touch, I know I
should back away and get the fuck out of here. Sparks fly and it’s like no time has passed between us.
I rip her shirt open, the sound of buttons flying pinging back to my ears. I groan into her mouth and
lift her onto my waist. Deepening the kiss, I shut my brain down. This is nothing more than a random
fuck.

***

Alexis

I can feel the anger rolling off him. I should push him away, but I want my husband. I want to soothe
his anger away.
I want to tell him what really happened and that I never stopped loving him, but I hold all of that
in as I get lost in his touch. Anthony’s thick hands are huge. He could palm my entire head with one.
When he grabs my ass and squeezes, the touch shoots through my body. His kisses are hungry, but
something changes quickly. He goes from kissing me like he misses me as much as I miss him to
kissing me like a stranger.
I hate the disconnection I feel. I need him, all of him. I’m falling apart without him. I hate my life.
Sometimes, I have to wonder if I did the right thing after all.
“Anthony,” I cry out as he tugs my bra cup down and wraps his mouth around my nipple.
He looks up at me with so much lust in his eyes before lunging for my lips again. I hold on to his
face, grinding against him as I tighten my legs around his waist.
He backs away from the wall, with me still in his arms. He doesn’t break the kiss as he carries me
over to my couch. The song playing has me in my feelings.
If only he knew. He’s all that matters. I’m so sorry I didn’t figure something else out. I ran for him,
to keep him safe.
He places me on the couch and peels me out of my jeans. I’m already wet for him. I’ve dreamed
of this for so long.
“Please,” I cry out when he settles between my legs and starts to devour me.
He hums, backing away long enough to tug his shirt off. My God, this man has bulked up. His
chest is more ripped than I remember.
 He latches on to my pussy like it’s one of those triangle push pops they used to give out at school.
He sucks and licks like he’s trying to get every drop of the sweet treat out. I push back into the couch,
but I have nowhere to go. I throw a leg over the back of the cushions and lift my hips as if that’s going
to help.
“Oh God, baby, yes,” I scream as he adds two fingers.
He palms my breast with his free hand and squeezes. I used to want bigger breasts like my
cousins, but Anthony made me appreciate my body for what it is. As if reading my mind, he moves up
my stomach with open-mouthed kisses.
I’m lust drunk by the time he latches on to my nipple while rolling the other between his fingers.
He groans, but he won’t look up at me. I run my hand through the front of his hair.
I noticed last night that it’s shorter on top. His natural curls aren’t coming through the way they
used to. Now it falls in thick waves.
The facial hair is new and sexy as hell. His appearance is so well groomed and manly. He’s not
the twenty-one-year-old young man I married. Sadness fills me. We’ve lost so much.
I truly love him. I reach to brush my thumb across his brow, and he looks at me through those long
lashes. I smile at him. His eyes soften and he releases my nipple to move in for my lips.
I cling to him, holding the back of his head tightly. He drinks from my lips like this will really be
the last time. Breaking the kiss too soon, he backs away and shakes his head.
I watch as he strips from the rest of his clothes. Damn, I thought his chest was nice. Anthony is the
real deal. Again, his nickname pops in my head.
Ox is more than fitting. I wonder how he feels about his older brother naming him that. I push the
question to the back of my mind.
His body is chiseled to perfection. He hasn’t missed leg, arm, or chest day. This man has handled
the assignment with the utmost understanding and respect.
“Come here,” he commands as he palms his length and starts to stroke it.
I stand up eagerly and drop to my knees before him. It’s been so long since I’ve given head, but
for him, I’ll figure it out.
“Just like that, Lex.”
I smile around his girth as he calls me by my nickname. He always used to use it with such
affection. I miss that.
I feel like I should have done some mouth exercises before attempting this, but I don’t back down.
He begins to pump his hips, scooping my hair up into his hands. He halts my movements as he pushes
all the way in and stills.
I choke and gag around him. He pulls out only to push back in. My eyes water, but I’ve missed him
so much I can’t seem to care.
His grip is biting and the look on his face says he’s barely holding on. He pulls from my mouth,
leaving me choking as he moves to sit on the couch. I reach behind my back to unclasp my bra.
Quickly, I stand and move between his legs. He reaches for my waist and turns me until my back
faces him. I look over my shoulder as he grabs his dick and holds it up as he tugs me down onto it.
I slide down onto him slowly. It’s like the first time all over again. He’s so big and I’m so tight.
Thankfully, I’m wet enough for him to slide in with some ease. I fall back against his chest with a
sigh.
“Fuck, Alexis,” he groans.
He lifts my legs out at my sides and starts to rock up into me. I reach behind him for the couch to
hold on and gain some leverage. I’m able to bounce back as he holds me open.
 Releasing one leg, he reaches for my clit. I cry out loudly as my eyes cross. It’s been so long, it
only takes a few minutes for me to start to convulse, my leg shaking in his grasp.
I bite my tongue to keep from crying out how much I love him. I close my eyes and shudder as he
roars and pumps his seed deep inside me.
Just as I remember, it doesn’t stop there. For the next three hours, my husband fucks my brains out
all over my apartment. Once he gets me into my bedroom, I don’t know how much more I can take, but
I take it all.
Chapter 13
T hat’s a No

Anthony

I wake and don’t know where I am at first. Then her scent and memories of last night hit me. My anger
rises all over again.
I look down at her lying across my chest and frown. Then it dawns on me that my phone is what
woke me. I reach for it and check my text. It’s from Pit. We’re leaving around four.
I think of sticking around for another round, but fuck that shit. I need to rip this Band-Aid off and
be done with it, but not before I deliver the final blow. I pick up her phone that’s next to mine.
I open it and take a picture of her sleeping on my bare chest. With a smile on my lips, I load the
pic in a text to that dick who texted her last night.
Papers still not signed. I caption it and toss the phone back on the nightstand.
I slide from under her body. Once in the living room, I dress. Moving over to the table with the
papers, I pluck the pen away and scowl down at the papers it rolls beside.
I pull a Sharpie from my pocket and bite the cap off, then scroll across the top. I grunt in
satisfaction and turn to leave.
“Fuck her engagement,” I mutter as I walk out the door.
If she wants a divorce, she can come to Vander and get it.

***

Alexis

I’m stuck somewhere between consciousness and sleep as my thoughts ramble. You can always tell
him what happened and maybe he’ll forgive you. He can move here. We can both forget about
Vander.
He works for his brother now. Maybe he’s told him everything and he doesn’t have to stay
around to watch over him. Talk to him. You saw he still loves you. It was in his eyes, that’s why he
wouldn’t look at you for long.
The annoying sound of my phone buzzing brings me fully awake. I sit up and palm my forehead.
The first thing I note is that Anthony is gone. My shoulders sag.
I don’t know why I half expected him to still be here. I furrow my brows. My phone is going off
like crazy. Texts are chiming and calls are buzzing. My phone is never this popping.
I reach for it to see what’s going on. I have a ton of missed calls and text messages from Eric. I
Another random document with
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these fungi along with growing grain. The path of infection is usually
by the mouth, while accident seems to determine whether the
infection shall manifest itself mainly in the intestinal canal or the
respiratory tract. In animals there is less tendency to suppuration
than in man, the infection in man being usually a mixed one. The
name lumpy jaw, so generally given to the affection, is indicative of
the most conspicuous lesion in cattle, for the organism, having once
invaded the gum, for instance, passes quickly to the bone, or, having
involved the tongue, is not slow to infect the lymphatics of that
region. In consequence we have tumors, often of inordinate size,
which may involve the bones or the soft parts and cause great
disfigurement, along with necrosis, leading eventually to the death of
the animal. These tumors are essentially granulation tumors due to
the presence of a specific irritant—the actinomycis—which acts here
as do the tubercle bacillus, the lepra bacillus, etc., in other infectious
granulomata.
In man the disease is generally accompanied by abscess
formation, the pus containing the distinctive yellow gritty particles
which are found in no other disease. The strong resemblance
between the lymphoid cells of this form of granuloma and the
embryonal cells of sarcoma has permitted the perpetuation of
confusion between these two neoplasms.
Large abscesses form as the result of the coalescence of small
ones, and by the time the disease is recognized extensive
destruction and loss of substance may have taken place. In man it is
not alone about the mouth that the disease is noted, although
primary lesion here is by no means infrequent. It leads to affections
similar to that already spoken of in cattle, with a progressive
infiltration and breaking down, including actual necrosis of bone, etc.
The pus will escape at various points, and may give to the surface
an appearance as of many craters with a central cause. When the
disease has involved the lung, either directly or indirectly, the fungi
and the calcareous particles may be found in the sputum. Should
there be suspicion of this involvement, the sputum should always be
examined. Even in the heart substance tumors of this same
character have been found. The first case noted in man had
undergone extensive vertebral caries. Intestinal infection is possible,
 Fig. 19 in which case multiple
lesions will form in the
intestinal walls, which
may contract
adhesions to the
abdominal parietes
and discharge
externally through
them. The appendix
has been found
involved in such
lesions. Infection of
the skin has also
been described,
though this occurs
more rarely.
Diagnosis.—
Actinom
ycotic lesions have
been mistaken for
cancer, sarcoma,
tuberculosis, syphilis,
Actinomycosis in man. (Lexer.) etc. In man it will
always be
characterized by more or less suppuration, and in the purulent
discharge from the infected focus the yellow calcareous particles
should enable recognition of this disease at once.
Prognosis.—As long as the focus is accessible it is a purely local
matter, and prognosis is as favorable as in local
tuberculosis; but, inasmuch as in many cases infection has
proceeded to a point where the surgeon cannot safely follow it,
prognosis must be guarded. Actinomycosis is free from acute
manifestations, for the main part free from pain, pursues a chronic
course, and is characterized, as are the other slow infections, by
progressive emaciation, prostration, etc. As it is essentially a chronic
condition, time is afforded for careful study in doubtful cases, for
microscopic examination, etc.
 Treatment.—This must consist of extirpation of all infected tissues
and areas. If this can be done thoroughly there is a
prospect of positive cure. Free incision, wide dissection, the use of
the actual cautery, etc., are always called for in these cases. If it
involves the tongue alone, there is an excellent prospect; if but a
portion of the jaw is involved, a complete excision of one-half or
more may be followed by excellent results. If, however, the lung,
liver, vertebrae, or other vital and inaccessible parts are involved,
surgical measures may afford amelioration, but can hardly be
expected to cure.
Iodine, alone or in combination, has been found efficacious in the
therapy of actinomycosis. In diluted solutions used locally, or as
potassium iodide given internally or injected into tumors, it doubtless
has a beneficial effect during the period of its administration. Recent
reports and experiences show that great value attaches to the use,
as suggested by Bevan, of copper sulphate in the treatment of
actinomycosis, its use having been suggested by the fact that copper
is used to destroy rusts (fungi) on grain. One-half grain (3 Cg.) may
be given internally three times a day, while the sinuses are irrigated
with a 1 per cent. solution. I have seen apparently complete cure of
an aggravated case follow its use. Incidentally it may be stated that
Bevan advises its use also in cases of blastomycosis.

MADURA FOOT.
While madura foot is not a disease from which domestic animals
suffer, its general characteristics make it a proper subject for brief
consideration. It is essentially a disease of the tropics and
subtropics, and is often seen in some of our new possessions.
It commences as a painless swelling upon either aspect of the
foot, in which hard nodules form, which later soften, ulcerate, and
discharge puruloid material containing granules in which the
microscope reveals mycelia of the peculiar fungus that produces the
disease. In some cases these particles are black, in others colorless.
The disease is of slow progress, and the lower limbs become weak,
atrophied, and finally useless Death results from exhaustion or some
terminal infection.
 The principal lesion is the slowly growing gumma or granuloma,
whose presence is unmistakable. This is due to the presence of a
fungus, called by Vincent the streptothrix maduræ. Thus in its
pathology the disease much resembles actinomycosis. The
habitually bare feet of most of the inhabitants of the tropics and the
habitat of the fungus explain the site of the primary lesion.
Treatment.—The only treatment is extirpation of the growth—i. e.,
amputation.
 PLATE VI

Tuberculosis of Testicle.
Miliary Tubercle with Caseation and Giant Cells. (Gaylord and Aschoff.)
a, seminal tubules; b, giant cells; c, caseated tubercles.
 CHAPTER IX.
SURGICAL DISEASES COMMON TO MAN AND
THE DOMESTIC ANIMALS (Continued).

TUBERCULOSIS.
The most important and frequent of the infectious diseases
common to animals and man is tuberculosis. This appears usually as
a subacute or chronic affection, although in a small proportion of
cases it assumes an acuteness of type which may make it fatal
within as short a time as fourteen or fifteen days, or even less, from
the first recognizable symptom. Tuberculosis is more prevalent than
any other form of disease, and is the cause of death of a proportion
variously estimated at from 20 to 30 per cent. of mankind. It is a
disease which perhaps concerns the surgeon more than the
physician, inasmuch as it is also the most common of the so-called
surgical diseases. Its frequency varies in different parts of the
country. In the average surgical clinic of the United States probably
20 to 25 per cent. of cases are manifestations of this affection.
Surgical tuberculosis covers the entire range of diseases formerly
described as scrofula. The term scrofula is now expurgated from
medical terminology. All of the active manifestations formerly
regarded as scrofulous are known to be due to tuberculosis.
To the presence of tubercle bacilli in the tissues is due that
distinctive aggregation of cells which constitutes the so-called miliary
tubercle. Its presence and arrangement are apparently the direct
outcome of the irritation produced by these minute foreign bodies,
and its method of grouping is so characteristic that it may be
everywhere and usually easily recognized. Its centre is composed of
one, possibly several, giant cells, whose nuclei are generally
arranged around its margin, with perhaps degenerative changes
going on in the interior of the cell itself. In this giant cell, as well as
outside of it, may be seen one or several tubercle bacilli. Around this
centre are clustered a number of large cells known as epithelioid,
which may also contain bacilli. These cells are probably derived from
epithelium when at hand, or from the endothelium of the vessel
walls, or from the fixed tissue cells. Outside of these are other,
usually spindle-shaped, cells, contained in a connective-tissue
network and regarded mostly as lymphoid cells. When tubercle is
experimentally produced the bacilli seem more numerous than they
do in instances of spontaneous disease. This little aggregation of
cells constitutes a mass which may be recognized by the naked eye
—a minute, usually white point or nodule, which is known as a
miliary tubercle. It is subject to any one of several changes to be
presently considered, and it is usually found in large numbers. The
punctate appearance of miliary tuberculosis is perhaps best seen
upon the cerebral membranes or the peritoneum in cases of acute
miliary tuberculosis. By coalescence of a number of these nodules
larger tubercles are formed, and by combination of coalescence and
caseous degeneration are produced the large cheesy masses which
were formerly called yellow tubercle. (See Plate VI.)
The epithelioid cells are by some regarded as modified leukocytes;
by others as the product of division of the fixed cells. The giant cell is
probably the result of irritation in one of these cells, the stimulus
being sufficient to provoke division of the nucleus, but not of the
entire cell. As the principal cellular activity occurs in the interior of
this nodule the result is a condensation about the periphery which
furnishes eventually a sort of capsule, the tissues being hardened
and condensed as if for this special purpose. The effect of this is to
interfere with vascular supply and finally to shut it off completely. As
long as no pyogenic infection occurs, the original tubercle may
gradually shrivel down and disappear or caseous degeneration may
occur, and it may persist as a cheesy nodule for an indefinite time.
As such a tubercle grows old the cells lose their identity, refuse to
take stains, and a slow or quiet coagulation necrosis results. In this
nest sometimes calcium salts are precipitated, the result being a
calcareous nodule. On the other hand, during the active stage of this
tubercle formation cell resistance may be lowered, either from
general or constitutional causes; the original focus disintegrates;
tubercle bacilli are liberated, and are now carried hither and thither,
metastatic tubercles being the result of their dissemination.
Spontaneous healing of tubercle is possible, and may be due to
three different causes:
(a) Necrosis and exfoliation of diseased tissue (e. g., in
lupus);
(b) Cicatricial formation;
(c) Retrograde metamorphosis.
Looked at from another point of view, the possible fates awaiting
the miliary tubercle are the following:
(a) Absorption;
(b) Encapsulation;
(c) Cheesy degeneration;
(d) Calcareous degeneration;
(e) Suppuration.
Absorption.—Absorption of tubercle undoubtedly is possible
under favorable circumstances, but just what
constitute these favoring circumstances no one knows, since they
occur in cases which do not terminate fatally. To be able to describe
them would be to detail minutely the changes which permit of
recovery after non-traumatic tuberculous infection, which clinical fact
is amply demonstrated by the experience of the profession.
Absorption is probably largely a matter of phagocytosis.
Encapsulation.—Encapsulation has already been spoken of, the
capsule being formed by the condensation of the
original cells of the tuberculous agglomeration, the infectious
organisms being thereby imprisoned as long that they are practically
starved and finally die. The tubercle bacilli, however, may long lie
latent in such a cellular prison, and should anything occur to break
the prison wall they may escape and still prove actively infectious. In
this way are to be accounted for the fresh eruptions from old miliary
or other deposits.
Caseation.—Caseation comprises a series of changes in the
chemical constitution of the cells by which an
albuminoid mass much resembling casein in composition and
appearance is produced. The English equivalent cheesy well
describes many of these masses, which both cut and appear very
much like domestic cheese. They have a yellowish color, and are
met with in masses in size from a pin’s head up to a robin’s egg.
These are the yellow tubercles of the older writers, and such a
cheesy tumor has been called tyroma.
Calcification.—Calcification refers to a peculiar deposition of
calcium salts within the interior of these nodules, the
first precipitation occurring usually in the centre of the giant cell,
which is itself the topographical centre of the miliary tubercle. It may
spread from this until a mass easily recognizable by the naked eye
and detectable by the finger is produced. Such calcareous particles
are frequently found in sputa, and are always an index of the
tuberculous character of the case. They differ markedly from the
yellow calcareous nodules found in the pus of actinomycosis, the
circumstances under which they are likely to be confused being met
in pulmonary disease.

COLD ABSCESSES.
Suppuration, as indicated, is the result of a mixed or secondary
infection with pyogenic organisms. In the previous chapter tubercle
bacilli were grouped as among the facultative pyogenic bacteria, yet
pus is not formed in this disease except in consequence of
coincident activity of other bacterial organisms. Suppuration of
tuberculous foci is of importance to the surgeon, because thereby is
produced a distinct class of so-called abscesses—namely, the cold
or congestion abscesses. These are of the chronic type, and are
generally free from the ordinary signs of abscess formation. They are
invariably the result of local infection, sometimes perhaps by the
tubercle bacilli alone, but frequently by the combined action of these
with pyogenic forms. For their formation a previous tuberculous
lesion is essential. Wherever old tuberculous lesions are
encountered cold abscesses also may form. No tissue or organ is
exempt: they are found in the brain, in the bones, viscera, joints, skin
—in fact, in all parts of the body.
 Cold abscesses have not only a significance of their own, but for
the most part an identity. Their distinguishing feature is a limiting
membrane, which forms whenever sufficient time has elapsed. Much
has been written about it, and much error has been perpetuated with
regard to it. This is the membrane formerly considered and called
pyogenic, under the misapprehension that by it the pus or contents
of the abscess were produced. I desire to emphasize in every
possible way that this is a mistake. This membrane does not act to
produce pus, but is rather the result of condensation of cells around
the margin of the tuberculous lesion, forming, as it were, a sanitary
cordon, for the absolute and definite purpose of protection against
further ravages. I would suggest that the term pyogenic membrane
be abolished, there being no such membrane under any
circumstances, and that, this be known as that which in effect it is—
namely, a pyophylactic membrane. It is a protection against pus, and
were it not for its presence there would be no limit to the spread of
tuberculous invasion. A lesion thus surrounded is shut off from most
possibilities of harm, rarely encroaches, except by the most gradual
processes, and, on the contrary, often contracts and reduces its
dimensions, the watery portion of its contents being gradually
absorbed and the more solid and cellular portions becoming
condensed into matter which undergoes caseous degeneration, so
that eventually recovery may ensue as the consequence of a
metamorphosis of an original cold abscess into a caseous nodule
surrounded by the old pyophylactic membrane, which is now serving
as a capsule.
The contents of the cold abscess are, in some instances at least,
of acute origin, and consequently may have been originally pus or its
near ally. On the other hand, in cases which have occurred very
slowly this material is not real pus, but is a semifluid debris having
certain properties which remind one of pus. It has been my effort
hitherto to devise for this material a name which should distinguish it
from pus and indicate what it really is. Inasmuch as most of it has
been of a puruloid character, at least at one time, I have suggested
that it be called archepyon (i. e., originally pus or puruloid). As this
flows from such a cold abscess, it is more or less watery and
contains caseous, sometimes calcareous, nodules in masses of
considerable size, and not infrequently sloughs of tissue and old
shreds of white fibrous tissue which resist decomposition for a long
time. This material has been thus imprisoned, sometimes for months
or even years, and consequently has lost most of its resemblance to
what it was originally. The organisms which first produced it have
long since died, and it is practically sterile. If any organisms survive,
they are the tubercle bacilli, which are more resistant and tenacious
of life than the ordinary pyogenic organisms. This is why most
culture experiments fail, and why even inoculation with the contents
of an old cold abscess is often without effect even on most
susceptible animals. Nevertheless the bacilli which the semifluid
contents do not contain may yet linger in the meshes of the
pyophylactic membrane; and here lurks the greatest danger in
dealing with these lesions.
In old cases the pyophylactic membrane is very tough and very
adherent by its outer surface. It can sometimes be peeled off in
strips of considerable extent, at other times cannot even be
separated, or sometimes is so placed as to render it impossible to
follow it to its termination. There must be complete extirpation of this
membrane, or at least destruction; and when its removal is
impracticable, failure to remove it should be atoned for by some
powerful caustic, such as zinc chloride, nitric acid, caustic pyrozone
or the actual cautery, which should be made to follow it to its ultimate
ramification. The membrane and the tissues underlying, when thus
cauterized, will separate as sloughs, and these will be replaced by
presumably healthy granulations, which should be encouraged until
the original cavity is filled or the surface healed.
Acute abscesses, as indicated in the previous chapter, have no
real limiting membrane, although there is more or less condensation
of tissues about the focus of infection. A typical membrane is
distinctive of tuberculous abscesses, and is to be regarded always
as their natural protection and a barrier against their further
encroachment—a membrane whose inner surface may harbor active
organisms which cannot escape through its outer texture.
Consequently, to simply incise it or inefficiently scrape it is to do a
worse than useless thing; and one should never attack it unless he is
prepared to extirpate it or destroy its integrity, and in this way
dispose of it.
Cold abscesses when near the surface cause a bluish or dusky
discoloration of the overlying skin, while the superficial and
subcutaneous veins of this region are usually enlarged. Fluctuation
is also a prominent phenomena in connection with them when they
can be palpated. Deep collections of this kind may be mistaken for
cysts or tumors, in which case the aspirator needle may be used to
facilitate diagnosis. They vary in size from the smallest possible
collection of fluid to abscesses which may contain a gallon or more
of puruloid material or archepyon. They are known often as
gravitation abscesses, because by the weight of the contained fluid
they tend to elongate or spread themselves in the direction in which
gravity would naturally carry a collection of fluid. Thus cold
abscesses originating from tuberculous disease of the lower spine
frequently work their way along the psoas muscle and present below
Poupart’s ligament as psoas abscesses, or elsewhere about the
thigh, while those which come from similar disease of the uppermost
cervical vertebrae may present behind the pharynx, as the so-called
retropharyngeal abscesses, and those from the dorsal spine present
not infrequently as lumbar abscesses. These are but two or three
familiar examples of what may occur in any part of the body.
Treatment.—Aside from the treatment of cold abscesses, already
indicated by radical measures, other means have been
suggested, and particularly for the treatment of those in which such
extreme measures are impracticable or impossible. It is sometimes
efficacious to simply tap or remove by aspiration the contents of
such a cavity. It may never refill, or but slowly, and after repeated
tapping alone a very small percentage of such cases will subside
into inactivity and the lesion be subdued, if not absolutely cured.
Treatment by injection of emulsions of iodoform has found favor with
many surgeons. I have never been able to secure the good results
reported by others, and consequently have abandoned it; yet it
deserves mention here because of the repute it has enjoyed.
This is based upon the alleged specific properties of iodoform as
being peculiarly fatal to tubercle bacilli, presumably by liberation of
free iodine. A cavity to be thus treated should be first emptied as
completely as possible, after which may be thrown into it a glycerin
emulsion or an ethereal solution, or a suspension in sterilized oil of 5
to 10 per cent. of iodoform. From 25 to 200 Cc. of some such
preparation is introduced, while the walls of the abscess are more or
less manipulated in the endeavor to completely disseminate the
mixture. The cannula through which it has been introduced is then
withdrawn; and this can usually be done with but little unpleasant
iodoform effect. This is due to the pyophylactic membrane, which
limits the activity of the drug as it has done that of the previous
contents of the abscess. Such cavities have also been treated by
washing out through a trocar with an injection of various antiseptic or
stimulating solutions, among which may be mentioned hydrogen
peroxide, weak iodine solutions, etc. My own advice is to treat all
tuberculous lesions radically when such measures are not contra-
indicated by their multiplicity or by too great depression of the
patient, and so long as lesions are accessible to ordinary operative
procedures. This same advice pertains also to those which have
already spontaneously evacuated themselves, or where the
overlying skin is threatening to break and permit escape of contents.
Almost any case where this is imminent is one in which the surgeon,
as such, ought to interfere. On the other hand, in deep collections
and in debilitated individuals the treatment by injection may be tried.
The best way to treat accessible tuberculous lesions is by
extirpation, as this hastens convalescence and leads to more
permanent results.

THE GUMMAS OF TUBERCULOSIS.

The other and essential characteristic of tuberculous disease is
the infectious granuloma to which it gives rise. This is a term first
applied by Virchow to new formations of granulation tissue which are
the result of the presence of invading and specific irritants. This
tissue varies little in type from that already described under Ulcers,
and is common to the neoplasms which are found in tuberculosis,
syphilis, leprosy, glanders, and other local infections. So little does
the tissue type vary in these different instances that it is difficult to
distinguish by microscopic sections of the unstained tissues, or at
least those unstained for bacteria, to which class of lesions they
belong.
 PLATE VII

Lupus of Skin. (Gaylord.)

a, fresh tubercles containing numerous plasma cells; b, mature tubercle with
giant cells. Below are accumulations of plasma cells about the vessels. Low
power.
Unna’s polychrome methylene blue.
 This tissue may be met with in any of the tissues of the body, but
is less seen upon the serous membranes of the cranial and
peritoneal cavities, whereas in the joint cavities it is common. It is
provoked, as just stated, by the presence of tubercle, and has the
power of penetration into and substitution for almost all the other
tissues of the body. Thus in a primary tuberculous focus within the
bone a granuloma will form and extend its limits, while the
surrounding bony tissue melts away before it; and it is by the growth
of this tissue in a particular direction that tuberculous products from
within the bone cavity are finally carried to the surface. When this
material has escaped from bone, or from tissues without the bone,
toward the surface its presence is marked by induration, by livid
discoloration of a limited area of skin, with elevation of the surface,
which finally breaks down and shows discolored, bleeding, and
pouting granulations, which in the absence of restraint now
proliferate more rapidly, and often to the point where they loose their
former blood supply, and consequently necrose upon the surface.
This is the fungous granulation tissue, especially of the German
writers, and may be met with upon the surface, or is frequently seen
in opening into joint cavities and other tissues infected by tubercle.
The appearances of this fungous tissue are modified somewhat by
environment and pressure: in joints flat and radiating masses of it will
be found, extending along the synovial surfaces and into the articular
crevices. This fungous tissue may grow in any direction, but
apparently advances in the direction of least resistance. It leads to
complete perforations of the flat bones, like those of the skull, while
tuberculous masses from the dura may cause multiple perforations,
the granulation tissue finally escaping through the overlying skin. In
tuberculosis of synovial sheaths and bursæ it extends along and
may completely fill and even distend them. It will separate tissues
which were united together, and it may lead to disintegration and
disorganization of the firmest textures in the body. So long as it is not
exposed to the air nor to pyogenic infection, it will preserve its
characteristics for a considerable length of time. Immediately upon
exposure it is likely to break down, and infection will travel speedily
along it into the deeper cavity whence it has sprung. A mass of this
tissue contained within the normal tissues, condensed more or less
by pressure, uninfected, and not freely supplied with blood, is
entitled to the name of tuberculous gumma, whose tendency,
however, is too often to break down and suppurate. Such gummas
may be found in any part of the body, and differ only in unessential
respects from the diffuse and more or less infiltrated masses of
granulation tissue which occupy serous cavities or which extend in
various directions.
The lesions of surgical tuberculosis, except those already spoken
of as constituting cold abscess, are so essentially connected with the
presence of granulation tissue, just described, or of this form of the
infectious granulomas, that no student can appreciate the subject
until he is familiar with this tissue in its various phases and in various
locations. Of such great importance is it that this be realized that
some of the local manifestations of this new tissue must here be
considered, although they may be rehearsed in other form in
succeeding chapters.
In the skin and subcutaneous tissues and in and under mucous
membranes this granulation tissue may be studied at places where it
is free from most mechanical restraints to growth, and where, in
other respects, its appearances are typical. The most characteristic
manifestations in the skin occur as lupus, a disease considered
cancerous or of uncertain etiology. Lupus is always a cutaneous
manifestation of this protean disease. (See Plate VII.)
In its incipient stages lupus consists of multiple minute nodules of
granulation tissue just beneath the surface, containing all the
elements of true miliary tubercle, with infiltration of the surrounding
skin, even into the subcutaneous fat. The most common location of
these lesions is on exposed surfaces. Bacilli are not numerous in
them, yet may be demonstrated. The tendency is more or less
rapidly to break down, the result being a tuberculous ulcer, which, as
it extends, manifests usually a disposition to cicatrize in the centre
while enlarging around its periphery. The dermatologists describe
several different forms of lupus under the names hypertrophicus,
vulgaris, maculosus, etc., all of which are essentially the same in
character, the differences being largely constituted by the rapidity or
slowness with which the granuloma of the skin breaks down. From
the surface these growths may extend and involve parts at
considerable depth, even the periosteum. This name should also
include the lesions described as scrofuloderma or scrofulous ulcers
of the skin, they being all of the same character.
A variety known as anatomical tubercle has been described by
some writers, found especially upon the hands of those who frequent
dissecting-rooms or handle dead bodies, and is supposed to be the
result of local inoculation. It appears usually as a warty growth,
which ulcerates and becomes covered with a scab—is usually
indolent in character, but is followed by lymphatic involvement, and
in rare instances by death from tuberculous disease.
In the lymphatic structures and lymph nodes tuberculosis is a most
frequent affection. In these localities it may occasionally be primary,
but is almost always a secondary lesion. It is in separating from the
lymph stream the tubercle bacilli, which would otherwise be passed
into the general circulation, that the lymph nodes, acting as filters,
render us the greatest possible service. These filters themselves,
however, almost always become infected, and, enlarging, they
assume the appearances known to the laity as scrofula, which have
been generally referred to as scrofulous glands. These lesions
abound rather about the axilla and the cervical and bronchial nodes
than about the lower extremities. Nevertheless, the retroperitoneal,
mesenteric, and inguinal nodes are occasionally infected. In these
nodes will be found giant cells surrounded with epithelioid cells,
containing bacilli and undergoing cheesy degeneration or
suppuration. Infection often proceeds from centre to periphery, and
then to the surrounding tissues, the filter, as such, having become so
choked that nothing seems to pass it. By virtue of this surrounding
infiltration (which used to be known as peri-adenitis, when lymph
nodes were spoken of as lymph glands) generalized infection is in
some measure prevented, while the natural barriers are altered and
natural distinctions between tissues are lost. This makes complete
extirpation of these tuberculous foci often very difficult, while the
adhesions which they contract, for instance in the neck, are often to
the large vessels and nerve sheaths, by all of which their operative
treatment is naturally complicated. When infection from the
superficial nodes extends toward the surface it is easily recognized
by the dusky hue of the overlying skin, the hardness, infiltration, and,
 Fig. 20 later, the fixation, of
these masses,
accompanied usually
by evidences of
suppuration.
In and on the
serous membranes
we find tuberculous
lesions, either primary
or metastatic, usually
miliary in type. In the
pleural cavity they
produce effusion
(hydrothorax), which
may necessitate
repeated
paracentesis, or by a
mixed or secondary
infection may cause
empyema, for which
much more radical
and even extensive
operations are
demanded. (See
Thoracoplasty.)
In the case of the
Tuberculosis of cervical lymph nodes. peritoneum we find
(a) miliary
tuberculosis, (b) a slower non-exudative form with firm, sometimes
pigmented nodules, and (c) a form characterized by small gummas
which become caseous, coalesce, and ulcerate, binding together
intestinal coils and producing extensive and irregular adhesions, with
seropurulent exudation, often enclosed in walled-off sacs. In all of
these cases surgical intervention should be considered, while in the
more acute miliary forms abdominal section, with flushing, has in
many instances afforded relief.
 Tuberculous meningitis, cerebral or spinal, is in surgical cases
practically always of miliary type, accompanied by the inevitable
increase of fluid, and, in the cerebrospinal canal, of consequent
tension. Inasmuch as the latter constitutes the most formidable
feature of these cases, its possible relief by puncture may be
considered. And so lumbar puncture (q. v.) may be practised, and
even tapping the cerebral ventricles after making the small trephine
opening has been done a few times, though not with encouraging
success. (See Hydrocephalus.) Too often tuberculous meningitis is
the terminal infection which ends many a case of local tuberculous
disease in other parts of the body.
In general the more acute and miliary the lesions presented in
tuberculous disease of serous membranes the greater the tendency
to profuse watery (serous) exudate, whose volume may demand
operative measures for relief.
In the bones we often find indications of tuberculous disease. It is
not much more than sixty years since Nélaton called attention to the
frequency of these intra-osseous lesions, and demonstrated the
essentially tuberculous character of much that had hitherto been
overlooked or considered under that vague term scrofula. All those
forms of bone disease comprehended under the names Pott’s
disease, spina ventosa, tumor albus, etc., are now known to be
distinctly tuberculous lesions. In many instances these follow the
slight circulatory disturbances brought about by contusions sprains,
etc. This is especially the case in those who are predisposed to this
disease.
Tuberculosis of bone always assumes the phase of miliary lesions,
followed by the formation of a granuloma, which may gradually
encroach upon surrounding tissues or may assume a more
fulminating type and spread rapidly. Apparently because of the
circulatory conditions these lesions generally occur near the
epiphyseal lines of the long bones, apparently seeking the ends of
the bones, as pulmonary lesions seek the terminations of the lungs.
These lesions may be solitary or multiple. Beginning always
minutely, they spread so as to produce foci perhaps two inches in
diameter. As the result of the formation of granulation tissue, the
surrounding bone melts away and disappears, the result being a