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 Physics on Your Feet:
Berkeley Graduate Exam Questions
 Physics on Your Feet:
Berkeley Graduate Exam Questions
or
Ninety Minutes of Shame
but a PhD for the Rest of Your Life!

Second Edition

Dmitry Budker
University of California, Berkeley, USA and Johannes Gutenberg University, Mainz,
Germany

Alexander O. Sushkov
Boston University, Boston, MA, USA

Illustrated by Vasiliki Demas

1
 3
Great Clarendon Street, Oxford, OX2 6DP,
United Kingdom
Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford.
It furthers the University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship,
and education by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of
Oxford University Press in the UK and in certain other countries

c Dmitry Budker, Alexander O. Sushkov, Vasiliki Demas 2015, 2021
The moral rights of the authors have been asserted
First Edition published in 2015
Impression: 1
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in
a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the
prior permission in writing of Oxford University Press, or as expressly permitted
by law, by licence or under terms agreed with the appropriate reprographics
rights organization. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside the scope of the
above should be sent to the Rights Department, Oxford University Press, at the
address above
You must not circulate this work in any other form
and you must impose this same condition on any acquirer
Published in the United States of America by Oxford University Press
198 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10016, United States of America
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
Data available
Library of Congress Control Number: 2021934833
ISBN 978–0–19–884236–1 (hbk.)
ISBN 978–0–19–884237–8 (pbk.)
DOI: 10.1093/oso/9780198842361.001.0001
Printed and bound by
CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY
Links to third party websites are provided by Oxford in good faith and
for information only. Oxford disclaims any responsibility for the materials
contained in any third party website referenced in this work.
To the memory of our teacher and dear friend, Max Zolotorev (1941-2020)
Preface to the Second Edition

In the few years that passed from the publication of the First Edition of the book, we
received a lot of positive feedback and encouragement from our readers and colleagues,
which has motivated us to continue keeping an eye out for good questions suitable
for oral PhD exams, now also at the Johannes Gutenberg University at Mainz and
Boston University, the respective schools where the two of us currently teach (and give
examinations). Some colleagues have offered us such questions, and, as before, we have
come up with a number of “exam-style” questions ourselves.
The Second Edition extends the book rather significantly, with new problems found
towards the ends of the sections and new cartoons skillfully drawn by Dr. Vasiliki
Demas added throughout the book. We have also taken the opportunity to correct the
(surprisingly few) misprints and minor errors noticed in the First Edition.
We hope the readers continue to find Physics on Your Feet useful and perhaps
entertaining!

Dmitry Budker
Alex Sushkov
Mainz and Boston
July 2020
Preface to the First Edition
How this book came about
In May 2010, the Physics Department of the University of California at Berkeley
where the two of us, at different times, had been Ph.D. students, abandoned the
Preliminary Oral Examinations, a.k.a oral prelims, for the first-year graduate students,
thus breaking a 60-year-long tradition.
In fact, oral examinations were offered at the Berkeley Physics Department much
earlier, however, their most recent format and scope more or less settled by 1950, as
described by A. C. Helmholz in his History of the Physics Department. 1950–1968
(Helmholz, 2004).
The Berkeley prelim was a scary experience for those of us on the “receiving end
(A. S.),” and a half-day semi-annual chore for those administering the test (D. B. did
this from Fall of 1995 through Spring of 2010; he “missed” taking the oral prelims as
he entered the Berkeley Physics graduate program in 1989 as a continuing student, but
has had his share of oral examinations elsewhere). Nevertheless, the two of us strongly
feel that this has been extremely useful for the students, providing them, perhaps, the
first “real-life” scientific-communication experience, and giving an opportunity to look
at the beautiful world of physics in some approximation of completeness.
It has also been a truly rewarding experience for the faculty member (D. B.). One
learned a lot from the brilliant students, and from the wise colleagues asking truly
interesting and profound questions. Some of the material of this book is drawn from the
notes taken by D. B. at the exams over the years, as well as from the questions collected
by the students and passed as an exam-preparation aid “generation to generation.”
The origin of the content of the book, therefore, has collective nature, and we are
extremely grateful to the members of the Berkeley physics faculty who have generously
allowed us to use their ideas. Unfortunately, many of our sources are no longer alive
to ask for permission. We remain in deep gratitude to Profs David Judd, Gil Shapiro,
Ronald Ross, and, indirectly, many others.
So what’s the point of the book now that the Berkeley orals are no more? We
hope this collection will be useful to students (of all ages and everywhere) who wish to
refresh and/or test their knowledge of physics, and also to students at the universities
that still administer orals. And there are always written prelims, qualifying exams,
even at Berkeley (at least, for now) ... The level of the readers we primarily aim at
is upper-division undergraduates and first-year graduate students, although some of
these problems will certainly be enjoyed by postdocs and distinguished physics faculty,
looking for a fun break from or an unexpected contribution to their research.
We have had a lot of fun writing up the problems for this book, and we would like
our readers to share this joy (rather than stress out about the upcoming exam, which
is unproductive). We are greatly assisted in this by the eye-pleasing drawings prepared
by our skillful illustrator, Dr. Vasiliki (Vicky) Demas.
viii Preface to the First Edition

m
v

Other books
There are several other collections of problems with the scope and goals partially
overlapping with ours. Among these are the following.
• Scattering and Structures by (Povh and Rosina, 2005), which is a lovely collection
of problems for the German oral Diploma and Ph.D. exams with emphasis on
quantum phenomena.
• A Guide to Physics Problems by Cahn, Mahan, and Nadgorny (Cahn, Mahan, and
Nadgorny, 1994), which is a wonderful collection of written examination problem,
also supplied with many delightful cartoons (not to mention the most insightful
physics).
• An impressive multi-volume Problems and Solutions set by a group of Chinese
authors (Zhang, Zhou, Zhang, and Lim, 1995; Lim, 1998; Bai, Guo, Lim, 1991;
Lim, 2000) compiled by the Physics Coaching class at the University of Science
and Technology in China as a guide for preparation to Ph.D. exams at major
American universities. While this collection appears to be very useful, we find the
choice of questions and style of solutions to be substantially different from our
own.
 How to use this book ix

• University of Chicago Graduate Problems in Physics, with Solutions by (Cronin,

Greenberg, and Telegdi, 1967) is another great collection, although it generally
appears to be more mathematical than this book (and has no cartoons!).
• University of California, Berkeley, Physics Problems, with Solutions by (Chen,
1974) is a forty year-old collection of problems based on the Berkeley written
Ph.D. exams.

How to use this book

We decided to present the solutions right after the problems, instead of separating
them into a different part of the book. Nevertheless, as with all respectable problem
books, it is recommended that the reader begins by suppressing the temptation to read
or peep into the solution right away, and gives the problem an honest “college try”
before consulting with the solution (which may be wrong and/or inelegant, anyway).
Some of the material in the solutions clearly goes beyond of what may be expected at an
oral examination. We provide these discussions for those readers who may be interested in
more in-depth details about the subject and mark the corresponding passages that can be
omitted without sacrificing the quality of exam preparation by placing them in the “aside”
environment as this paragraph.
Have fun and good luck!

Dmitry Budker
Alexander O. Sushkov
Berkeley and Harvard
March 2014
Acknowledgements

The original title of this book with which we “lived” for a long time was Ninety Minutes
of Shame (but a PhD in Physics for the rest of your life), however, our OUP Editor,
Sonke Adlung warned us that this title puts book in serious danger of landing in a
wrong section of a bookstore ... We are deeply grateful to Sonke for his patient help
and guidance over the years it took to complete this project.
This book would not have been possible without our mentors, colleagues, and
students whose ideas inspired many of the problems and solutions found in this book.
Their suggestions, guidance, and readings of countless drafts were invaluable, and we
sincerely appreciate their contributions.
In the semester preceding the completion of the book (Fall 2013), D. B. taught an
undergraduate senior elective course at Berkeley called “Physics for Future Physicist”
largely based on the problems in the book. The feedback from the students (several of
whom actually non-physicists) was enormously helpful.
Some people we would like to acknowledge specifically are Derek Jackson Kimball,
Marcis Auzinsh, Byung-Kyu Park, Sean Carroll, Eugene D. Commins, Mikhail Kozlov,
Oleg Sushkov, Victor Acosta, Angom Dilip Kumar Singh, Vladimir G. Zelevinsky,
Dmitri D. Ryutov, Richard A. Muller, Nathan Leefer, Ron Walsworth, Max Zolo-
torev, Steve Lamoreaux, Gregory Falkovich, Pauli Kehayias, Konstantin Tsigutkin,
Brian Patton, Michael Solarz, Ron Folman, Szymon Pustelny, Ori Ganor, Michael Ho-
hensee, Mikhail Lukin, Ran Fischer, D. Chris Hovde, Yehuda B. Band, Joel Fajans,
Peter Milonni, Sifan Wang, Sean Lourette, Maria Simanovskaia, Simon Rochester, and
Tamara Sushkova. Damon English helped to set this project in motion and provided
invaluable input at its early stages.
In conjunction with the Second Edition, we would like to acknowledge, in addi-
tion to the individuals listed previousley, Arne Wickenbrock, Valerii Zapasskii, Masha
Baryakhtar, Lykourgos Bougas, and Diana Saville.
The authors acknowledge the support of their research, that motivated many of
the problems in this book.
Contents

1 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics 1

1.1 Bouncing brick 3
1.2 Slippery cone 5
1.3 Roach race 7
1.4 Spinning Earth 9
1.5 Mechanical oscillator as a force sensor 11
1.6 Hot-dog physics 15
1.7 Ostrich egg 19
1.8 Joker’s pendulum 21
1.9 Slinky magic 23
1.10 Lightbulb and coal 25
1.11 Comfortable walking speed 27
1.12 Rotating dumbbell 29
2 Fluids 32
2.1 Bubble physics 33
2.2 Bubble and pressure 37
2.3 Holey bucket 39
2.4 Surprises in melting and solidification 43
2.5 Shallow-water and deep-water gravity waves 47
2.6 Tides 51
2.7 Boat speed limit (hull speed) 53
2.8 Floating in circles 55
2.9 Boat displacement 57
2.10 Temperature lapse in the atmosphere 59
2.11 Angler’s dilemma 63
3 Gravitation, Astrophysics, and Cosmology 66
3.1 Olber’s paradox: why is the sky dark? 67
3.2 Gravitational shift of clock rates 69
3.3 Photon fallout 73
3.4 Planck mass and length scale 75
3.5 Rotation of stars around the center of a galaxy 77
3.6 Ultralight dark matter 79
3.7 Detecting gravitational waves 83
3.8 Dark matter trapped in the Earth 87
4 Electromagnetism 90
4.1 Currents and magnetic fields 91
4.2 Electromagnet design 95
xii Contents

4.3 Field in a shield (with a coil) 97

4.4 Multipole expansion 101
4.5 Energy in a wire 105
4.6 Earth’s magnetic field angle 109
4.7 Refrigerator-magnet science 111
4.8 Spherical-cell magnetometer 115
4.9 Magnetic force on a superconducting magnet 117
4.10 Circuit view of atoms and space 121
4.11 Magnetic monopole 125
5 Optics 128
5.1 Rotating liquid mirror 129
5.2 Stacking lenses 131
5.3 Nanoparticle optics 137
5.4 Diffraction angle 139
5.5 Diffraction on an edge 141
5.6 Black-body radiation 143
5.7 Laser vs. thermal light source 145
5.8 Correlation functions for light and Bose condensates 149
5.9 Pulsed laser repetition rate 153
5.10 Beamsplitter 157
5.11 Rotating linear polarization 159
6 Quantum, Atomic, and Molecular Physics 162
6.1 Magnetic decoupling of spins 163
6.2 Level anticrossing 167
6.3 Bound states in a potential well 169
6.4 Hypothetical anomalous hydrogen 177
6.5 Time-reversal in quantum mechanics 181
6.6 Superconductivity vs. atomic diamagnetism 183
6.7 Atomic desorption 187
6.8 Lamb shift 189
6.9 Van der Waals interaction 193
6.10 Vacuum birefringence 197
6.11 Nonmagnetic molecule 199
6.12 Quantum mechanics of angular momentum 201
6.13 Light shifts 203
6.14 Optical pumping 205
7 Nuclear and Elementary-Particle Physics 208
7.1 The number of elements in the periodic table 209
7.2 Neutron anatomy 211
7.3 Nonexistence of the dineutron 213
7.4 Deuterium fusion 215
7.5 Lifetime of the ground-state para-positronium 217
7.6 Schwinger fields 221
7.7 Cherenkov radiation 223
 Contents xiii

7.8 Neutron optics 227

8 Solid-State Physics 230
8.1 Transistors 231
8.2 Magnetic domains 235
8.3 Damaging diamond 239
8.4 Nearest-neighbor defect in a crystal 241
8.5 Fermi velocity in a metal 243
8.6 Superfluid transition of helium 245
8.7 Frustrated spins 249
Appendix A Maxwell’s Equations and Electromagnetic Field
Boundary Conditions 251
Appendix B Symbols and Useful Constants 253
B.1 Symbols 254
B.2 Useful constants 255
References 257
Index 261
1
Mechanics, Heat, and General
Physics

Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

1.1 Bouncing brick 3

1.2 Slippery cone 5
1.3 Roach race 7
1.4 Spinning Earth 9
1.5 Mechanical oscillator as a force sensor 11
1.6 Hot-dog physics 15
1.7 Ostrich egg 19
1.8 Joker’s pendulum 21
1.9 Slinky magic 23
1.10 Lightbulb and coal 25
1.11 Comfortable walking speed 27
1.12 Rotating dumbbell 29

Physics on Your Feet: Berkeley Graduate Exam Questions: or Ninety Minutes of Shame but a PhD for the Rest of
Your Life! Dmitry Budker and Alexander O. Sushkov, Oxford University press. © Dmitry Budker, Alexander
O. Sushkov, Vasiliki Demas 2015, 2021. DOI: 10.1093/oso/9780198842361.003.0001
2 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics
 Bouncing brick 3

1.1 Bouncing brick

A brick falls flat onto a tennis ball resting on the ground (Fig. 1.1) and bounces back
to the height of h = 1 m. What height will the ball bounce to? Make reasonable
assumptions, for example, neglect the size of the ball compared to the bounce height.1

Fig. 1.1 A brick falls onto and bounces off of a tennis ball. As a result, the ball also bounces
vertically.

1 This problem was suggested by Prof. G. L. Kotkin.

4 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
When the brick hits the ball, it compresses (squashes) it, and the restoring force, which
is mostly due to the air pressure in the ball, is what pushes on the brick first making
it to stop, and then turn around and bounce back.
Let us consider the moment in time when the brick is on the way up, and the
ball is back to its non-deformed state. Assuming that the ball is at all times in a
quasi-equilibrium state, at this moment, the ball is no longer pushing on the brick.
At this moment, the brick begins its free-fall vertical motion with initial velocity
v0 that can be found from
mv02
= mgh. (1.1)
2
Let us now consider the motion of the different parts of the ball. The bottom of
the ball is on the ground, and is not moving. On the other hand, the top of the ball is
moving at the velocity of the brick v0 (Fig. 1.1). It is clear, then, that the center of mass
of the ball is moving with v0 /2. Correspondingly, the ball will bounce to h/4 = 25 cm.
Note that tennis players use a related effect to lift a tennis ball at rest on the
court–the technique involves hitting the ball vertically towards the ground with a
racket, upon which the ball bounces up.
 Slippery cone 5

1.2 Slippery cone

A climber is trying to climb a slippery mountain with a round conical shape. He has
with him a piece of rope with the ends tied together in a knot to form a loop. He
throws the loop over the top of the cone and pulls on it to pull himself up, as shown
in Fig. 1.2. There is no friction between the rope and the cone surface. If the opening
angle of the cone is small (sharp cone), the loop should catch, but if the opening angle
of the cone is large (flat cone), the loop should slip off over the top of the cone, as the
climber pulls on it.
What is the critical opening angle of the cone so that the rope loop just catches?2

Fig. 1.2 A climber pulling himself up with a rope.

2 This problem was suggested to us by Evgeny Kashmensky.

6 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
Suppose the climber has thrown the rope over the top of the cone, but has not pulled it
tight yet. Let us cut the cone from its vertex to its base along the straight line passing
through the knot in the rope loop. We then unroll the cone into a sector of a circle on
a plane (drawing a picture is very helpful at this point, see Fig. 1.3). The knot appears
as two points on the radii bounding the sector, these points are equidistant from the
vertex, which is the center of the circle. The rope joins these two points, tracing out
some curved line contained within the sector.
Now, as the climber pulls on the rope, he puts tension on it. When the rope is
tight, it traces out the curve of locally minimal length on the surface of the cone, or
a geodesic. On the surface of the “unrolled” sector, this is just a straight line between
the two points corresponding to the location of the knot. If the sector is less than half
of a circle, this straight line is entirely within the sector, and therefore the rope catches
somewhere on the surface of the cone [Fig. 1.3 (a)]. If the sector is more than half the
circle, the straight line is outside the sector, meaning that, as the rope is tightened, it
at some point must cross the center of the circle, thus slipping off the top of the cone
[Fig. 1.3 (b)].
The critical cone angle corresponds to the case when the “unrolled” cone forms a
half-circle [Fig. 1.3 (c)]. To work out what the opening angle of such a cone is, let us
denote the radius of the cone base by r and the length of the cone slant by L. The
“unrolled” sector has radius L and arc length of 2πr. When the sector is a semi-circle,
πL = 2πr, and r = L/2. This means that the critical half-cone angle is θ = 30◦ .

(a) (b) (c)

Fig. 1.3 An unrolled cone with the rope on its surface.
 Roach race 7

1.3 Roach race

Four cockroaches are initially located at the corners of a square with side a as shown
in Fig. 1.4. They start moving at the same time with the same speed (not necessarily
constant), in such a way that each roach is always moving in the instantaneous direc-
tion of its counter-clockwise neighbor. Assume that the size of a roach is negligibly
small compared to a.
What is the distance traveled by a roach until it collides with another?3

Fig. 1.4 Four roaches start their journey at the corners of a square and each roach moves
in the instantaneous direction of its nearest counter-clockwise neighbor.

3 This problem was suggested to us by Elena Zhivun.

8 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
By symmetry, the roaches remain in the corners of a (shrinking and rotating) square
at all times till they collide.
Relative-motion problems are often solved most easily by a convenient choice of
the reference frame. In this case, such a frame has the origin on one of the roaches, and
has an axis pointing in the direction of its neighbor. In this frame, our chosen roach
is stationary, while its neighbors approach it along straight lines, covering a distance
a till the encounter. Since the motion of the neighbors is always instantaneously per-
pendicular, one can see that, indeed, the distance covered by a roach till the encounter
is a, both in the “convenient” and the stationary frames.
We found that many of our colleagues, somewhat surprisingly, have trouble solving
this problem “on the fly.”
 Spinning Earth 9

1.4 Spinning Earth

This problem illustrates some typical and rather instructive estimates that working
physicists cover their lunch-time napkins with.
(a) Estimate the number of atoms contained in the Earth.
(b) The angular momentum of an atom or a molecule, if it is nonzero, is on the order
of ~. Estimate the angular momentum of the Earth’s rotation per atom in the units
of ~.
10 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
(a) The radius of the Earth is R ≈ 6400 km = 6.4 × 108 cm, so the volume of the Earth
is
4
V ≈ πR3 ≈ 1027 cm3 . (1.2)
3
The average density of the Earth is roughly ρ = 5.5 g/cm3 , and the most abundant
(and typical) element in the Earth is oxygen with an atomic weight of 16. From this,
we can roughly estimate the number of atoms in the Earth as

Vρ
N≈ NA ≈ 2 × 1050 , (1.3)
16

where NA ≈ 6 × 1023 particles per mole is the Avogadro number .

(b) The angular momentum is given by
2 2π
L = IΩ ≈ M R2 , (1.4)
5 τ
where I = 2M R2 /5 is the moment of inertia of a sphere rotating about its diameter,
we have approximated the Earth as a uniform sphere, and τ ≈ 24 hours is the period of
the Earth’s rotation. We can now just substitute the mass of the Earth as essentially
calculated previously, however, it is better to first divide by the expression of the
number of the atoms in the Earth because the mass cancels in the ratio. We have for
the angular momentum per atom (in units of ~):

2 2 2π
L 5MR τ
= M
≈ 3 × 1017 . (1.5)
N~ 16 NA ~

We find that the intrinsic angular momentum of atoms gives negligible contribution to
the angular momentum of the Earth, even if all atoms with nonzero internal angular
momentum were polarized in the same direction.
 Mechanical oscillator as a force sensor 11

1.5 Mechanical oscillator as a force sensor

(a) Consider a damped mechanical oscillator of mass m, natural frequency ω0 , and
quality factor Q, driven by a force F (t) = F0 eiωt (the force is complex for computa-
tional convenience, we take the real part whenever we consider a physical quantity).
Calculate the response amplitude x0 and the phase lag φ between the force and the
oscillator motion.
(b) The oscillator is in equilibrium with a thermal bath at temperature T . Calculate
the root-mean-squared (r.m.s.) thermal excitation xT .
(c) Suppose the oscillator is cooled to absolute zero. Calculate the r.m.s. excitation
xq of the oscillator due to quantum zero-point energy.
(d) The oscillator can be used to detect small oscillating forces by tuning its resonance
frequency ω0 close to the force frequency ω and measuring the response. Given the
thermal noise calculated in part (b), estimate the force sensitivity Fe of the oscillator
after measurement time t. Assume t  Q/ω0 .
12 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution

(a) The equation of motion for the oscillator is

 
mω0
mẍ + ẋ + mω02 x = F (t), (1.6)
Q

where the dots denote time derivatives. Given the form of the driving force F (t) =
F0 eiωt , let us search for the solution of the form

x(t) = x0 eiωt . (1.7)

Each time derivative then corresponds to a multiplication by iω, and Eq. (1.6) gives:

F0 /m
x0 = . (1.8)
ω02 − ω 2 + iωω0 /Q

Note that x0 = |x0 |eiφ is a complex number, its magnitude |x0 | corresponds to the
amplitude of the forced oscillations, and its phase φ corresponds to the phase between
the driving force and the response:

F0 /m ωω0 /Q
|x0 | = p , tan φ = − . (1.9)
(ω02 − ω 2 )2 + (ωω0 /Q)2 ω02 − ω 2

This steady-state solution is sketched in Fig. 1.5. The frequency width of the oscillator
response is ω0 /Q. In the time domain, this can be interpreted as the oscillator response
time of τ ≈ Q/ω0 to any sudden change in the force F (t), as can be verified by solving
Eq. (1.6) with F (t) = P0 δ(t), where P0 is the magnitude of the momentum imparted
by the “kick.”

0
–20
–40
–60
|X 0|

ω0 /Q –80
φ

–100
–120
–140
–160
–180

ω0 ω0
Frequency Frequency

Fig. 1.5 The response of the mechanical oscillator, driven by force F (t). Amplitude response
is plotted on the left, and phase response is plotted on the right.
 Solution 13

(b) By equipartition theorem, the thermal energy of the oscillator in equilibrium with
a thermal bath at temperature T is given by
1 1
mω02 x2T = kB T, (1.10)
2 2
where kB is the Boltzmann constant. Thus, for a classical oscillator at temperature T ,
s
kB T
xT = . (1.11)
mω02

(c) If the oscillator is in its quantum ground state (at absolute zero), its energy is

1 1
mω02 x2q = ~ω0 , (1.12)
2 2
where ~ is the Planck constant. Thus, for a quantum oscillator in the ground state,
r
~
xq = . (1.13)
mω0

(d) There are two ways to think about this problem: in frequency domain, and in time
domain. In frequency domain, we can approximate the response function in Fig. 1.5
as a rectangular window function of width ω0 /Q, with the thermal noise uniformly
distributed over this window. By measuring the oscillator response for time t > Q/ω0 ,
we are sensitive only to the fraction of this noise in the measurement bandwidth of
∆f ≈ 1/t (neglecting a numerical factor of 2):

1 1 1/t
mω02 x2e ≈ kB T , (1.14)
2 2 ω0 /Q

where xe is the oscillator response sensitivity after measurement time t:

s
kB T Q
xe ≈ . (1.15)
mω02 ω0 t

Alternatively, in time domain, we can consider the thermal noise as a series of ran-
dom kicks, separated by the oscillator response time of Q/ω0 . The oscillator undergoes
a random walk with the number of steps t/(Q/ω0 ), and, after measurement time t, the
uncertainty in its response is inversely proportional to the square root of the number
of steps: s s
kB T 1 kB T Q
xe ≈ = , (1.16)
mω02 t/(Q/ω0 ) mω02 ω0 t
p

which is the same as the result in Eq. (1.15).

14 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Now that we have calculated the measurement sensitivity for oscillator response,
all that remains is to convert that to force sensitivity using Eq. (1.9). For optimal
sensitivity, the force frequency has to be close to resonance: ω ≈ ω0 , thus

Fe /m
xe ≈ , (1.17)
ω02 /Q

and, using Eq. (1.15), we obtain the force sensitivity after measurement time t:
s
mω02 kB T
Fe ≈ . (1.18)
ω0 Qt

Note that k = mω02 is the spring constant, or stiffness, of the oscillator. In order
to have a sensitive force sensor, it is necessary to maximize the quality factor Q of
the oscillator, and cool it down to low temperature. The quantum limit to the force
sensitivity of an oscillator can be obtained from Eq. (1.13).
 Hot-dog physics 15

1.6 Hot-dog physics

(a) When a hot dog is cooked (boiled or fried), its skin often tears. When this happens,
the tear is almost always axial (along the length of the hot dog) [Fig. 1.6, left]. Why
do they essentially never tear along the circumference [Fig. 1.6, right]?

Fig. 1.6 Hot dogs often tear along the length (left), but essentially never along a circumfer-
ence (right).

(b) A straight hot dog or sausage, when put on a hot grill, tends to curl into a “C”
[Fig. 1.7]. Propose a theory for why this occurs.4

Fig. 1.7 When put on a grill, a straight hot dog curls into a “C.”

4 This question was suggested by Prof. John Close of the Australian National University.
16 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
(a) A hot dog is a long cylindrical shell (casing) made of small intestines of sheep
or reconstituted collagen filled with some sort of meat or substitute filling. When the
dog is cooked at high temperature, the pressure of the filling rises, which may lead to
casing rupture.

σ1·2δL 2r δ σ2·2πrδ
P

Fig. 1.8 Dimensions of a hot dog and total forces pulling the casing apart in two orthogonal
directions, shown schematically with hollow arrows.

Let us assume that the length of the dog is L, the radius of the cylindrical casing
is r, and the casing thickness is δ  r (Fig. 1.8). Assuming that the filling is at a
uniform pressure P , the force that pulls two halves of the dog apart in a direction
perpendicular to the hot-dog axis is P · 2r · L for each half dog. While the dog is
intact, this force is balanced by the tension of the casing 2σ1 δL. Here, σ1 is the force
orthogonal to the axis per unit area of the casing. Comparing the two expressions, we
get σ1 = P · r/δ.
Let us now look at the balance of forces along the axis. Here, we similarly have
P · πr2 = σ2 · 2πrδ, which yields for the casing tension in the axial direction: σ2 =
P · r/(2δ), two times smaller than σ1 .
Presumably, the hot dog ruptures when tension reaches the strength limit of the
casing material, which clearly happens at lower pressure for rupture parallel to the
axis.
By the way, the tension difference also explains why some hot dogs increase their
radius when cooked, while growing shorter: the casing expands according to the direc-
tion of highest tension, and the length has to shrink if the volume of the “meat” does
not change that much.
(b) We need to confess here that the search for the solution to this problem led us to
experimentation, often accompanied by subsequent consumption of the specimen [Fig.
1.9]. If you have never cooked a hot dog on a frying pan, this is actually a lot of fun.
What happens is that the hot dog starts to spontaneously roll around the pan, as if
it were alive (a rather dramatic site). Apparently, the reason for this is that bubbles
form inside the casing near the hot surface, and there is rapid evaporation into the
bubble, causing it to bulge. When this happens, the dog gets a push to roll (which
happens in a random direction). This rolling effect confuses the results of our “curling”
experiment. To mitigate this, we prevented rolling by slightly holding the dog in Fig.
1.9 while it was cooked on a frying pan (the figure shows the cooked dog removed from
the pan and placed on the surface of a cutting board).
 Solution 17

This side was in contact with the

frying-pan surface Circle approximating the curvature
of the hot dog after heating

Fig. 1.9 A hot dog that was initially straight is seen here to be curled after cooking on a
non-stick frying pan. During cooking, the dog was held lightly with a fork to prevent it from
rolling (see text).

The result of the experiment shows that, apparently, curling results from the fact
that the hotter side of the casing that is next to the hot surface shrinks compared
to the opposite side of the casing, thus deforming the hot dog and causing curling.
Measuring the radius of curvature of the dog using Fig. 1.9, we estimate the relative
shrinkage of the casing close to the hot surface relative to the part of the casing on
the opposite side of the hot dog as r/R ∼ 10%, where R is the radius of curvature of
the cooked dog.

..
18 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics
 Ostrich egg 19

1.7 Ostrich egg

A raw chicken egg, when put into a large pot with boiling water, usually cooks in
about five minutes. An ostrich egg has about the same shape as a chicken egg, but
its linear size is three times larger. Approximately how long does it take to cook an
ostrich egg?
20 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
Let us recall what happens when we put an egg into boiling water. We assume that
initially the entire egg is at some uniform “room” temperature. Once in the boiling
water, the surface layer of the egg quickly heats up to the temperature of the water (we
assume rapid heat exchange in the water outside the egg). Then, due to the temperature
gradient, heat flows from the outside of the egg towards the yoke, eventually raising
its temperature to the point (65◦ C to 70◦ C) when it coagulates, i.e., becomes solid.
At this point, we proclaim the egg cooked.
The heat conduction is governed by the equations

q = −k∇T, (1.19)
∂T
C = −∇ · q = k∇2 T, (1.20)
∂t
where q is the heat flux, k is thermal conductivity, T is temperature, and C is specific
heat. The (time dependent) solution of these equations is generally complicated. How-
ever, luckily, we do not need to explicitly solve any equations to answer our question.
In fact, the answer can be read off Eq. (1.20). The Laplacian on the right-hand side
of the equation contains the second spatial derivative of the temperature. If we change
all the spatial dimensions in the problem by some factor, we can restore the original
equation if we scale the time (appearing on the left-hand side) by the square of the
same factor. Thus, our scaling argument tells us that it takes about

(5 min) · 32 = 45 min (1.21)

to cook an ostrich egg.

 Joker’s pendulum 21

1.8 Joker’s pendulum

A pendulum of initial length l0 is oscillating with initial angular amplitude ϕ0 (Fig.
1.10). To play a trick on the observers of the pendulum, Joker slowly pulls the pen-
dulum’s thread, such that the relative variation of the pendulum’s length over an
oscillation period is always small.
How does the oscillation amplitude scale with the length of the pendulum?

φ
l

Fig. 1.10 The length of a freely oscillating pendulum is slowly changed. We are interested
in the corresponding change in the angular amplitude of the oscillation.
22 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
What we have here is adiabatic evolution of the pendulum which is characterized by
a conserved quantity, the adiabatic invariant (Landau and Lifshitz, 1999). We remind
the readers that the adiabatic invariant is the volume in the phase space (an area in
this case of effectively one-dimensional motion), enclosed by the periodic trajectory of
the system.
Let us present perhaps a somewhat unexpected mnemonic for remembering what
the adiabatic invariant is in the case of a harmonic oscillator: we will appeal of all
things to ... quantum mechanics! The energy of a quantum mechanical oscillator is
given by
E = ~ω(N + 1/2) ≈ N ~ω, (1.22)
where ω is the oscillator frequency, N is the number of quanta excited, and we ne-
glect zero-point oscillations (this is a classical pendulum, after all!). Now, in quantum
mechanics, the adiabatic invariant is the quantum number or the label of the state, in
this case, N . During adiabatic evolution, the quantum numbers do not change, while
the eigenfunctions and eigenenergies themselves may change.
We see that, in this case, the adiabatic invariant is N = E/ω. Since

E = mglϕ2 /2 ∝ lϕ2 (1.23)

p
(m is the pendulum’s mass; g is the acceleration due to gravity) and ω = g/l ∝ l−1/2 ,
we find that
ϕ ∝ l−3/4 . (1.24)
 Slinky magic 23

1.9 Slinky magic

A slinky is a popular toy that is just a piece of a loose metal or plastic spring. Suppose
you hold a slinky in your hand by the top so it stretches and comes to rest (Fig. 1.11).
The bottom is not touching the floor. Then you let go of the top.
Describe the initial motion of the bottom end of the slinky after the top is released.

Fig. 1.11 A vertically stretched slinky held by the top (in this case, by Min Ju Lee) and
initially at rest is released. The behavior of the bottom of the slinky is often described as
“shocking” by the observers.
24 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
The bottom of the slinky remains at rest until the slinky is almost fully compressed,
after which the whole thing drops as in free fall. The internet contains many striking
slow-motion videos of this.
The way to understand this behavior is to consider the speed with which a per-
turbation propagates along a stretched slinky. Suppose that, instead of releasing the
upper end, one just gives it an abrupt vertical jerk. This action will send a compression
wave down the slinky, which will propagate relatively slowly, and will reach the bottom
with a noticeable delay. In fact, for this delay to be long compared to the characteristic
free-fall time over the length of the slinky is a condition for the “slinky magic.” This
has been nicely explained on a Radiolab podcast (http://www.radiolab.org/blogs/
radiolab-blog/2012/sep/10/what-slinky-knows/), which inspired this problem,
by noticing that the bottom “does not know” that the top has been released until the
compression waves reach it.
 Lightbulb and coal 25

1.10 Lightbulb and coal

A turn of the century politician Albert Gore is said to have claimed that a 100 W
incandescent lightbulb that draws electricity produced by a coal powerplant requires
about a ton of coal burned to keep it on for a year. Is this correct?5 How much carbon
dioxide is released when one burns a ton of coal?

5 This problem was pointed out to us by Prof. Roger Falcone.

26 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
First, let us figure out how much energy a 100 W lightbulb dissipates if it is on for
a year. Incidentally, wattage of a lightbulb refers to the power taken from electricity,
not the power actually converted to light.
Using the fact that one year happens to be nearly exactly π × 107 s, we find that
our lightbulb needs ≈ 3 × 109 J of electrical energy to stay on for a year.
In the next step, we evaluate how much coal would be burned to produce this much
electrical energy. We could, of course, google or look up in a handbook that burning
a ton of coal releases something like 2.4 × 107 kJ of thermal energy, but this would be
cheating (literally so in an oral exam).
Instead, we can crudely estimate the energy by remembering that a typical chemical
reaction changes the chemical energy by on the order of 1 eV per atom. Since coal
consists of carbon and hydrogen atoms in roughly equal numbers (which means that
the mass of coal is dominated by carbon), we have about (106 g/13)×6·1023 ≈ 4.6·1028
pairs of hydrogen (H) and carbon (C) atoms in a ton of coal. Here we multiplied the
number of moles of hydrogen and carbon by the Avogadro number . Combining this
with the fact that 2.5 oxygen atoms will be needed on average to burn a hydrogen
and carbon (you can verify this by remembering that the final products of burning
are H2 O and CO2 ) so that we have 4.5 atoms changing their chemical state in the
reaction, we find the total energy to be about 4.6 · 1028 × 4.5 × 1.6 · 10−19 J ≈ 3 · 1010 J,
not too far from the number one finds in a handbook.
Now, the thermal energy produced by burning coal is not all converted to electricity;
a typical efficiency of a coal plant is 35%. So, putting this all together, we find that it
takes about a third of a ton to keep a 100 W lightbulb on for a year. A much smaller
exaggeration than one would have thought given Mr. Gore’s reputation!
As for how much CO2 is released upon burning a ton of coal, we see that for each
carbon atom, there are two oxygen atoms in a carbon dioxide molecule of comparable
mass (atomic weight 16 for O vs. 12 for C), so it is about three tons of CO2 that is
released.
 Comfortable walking speed 27

1.11 Comfortable walking speed

Have you noticed that there is a certain walking speed that feels “comfortable”? If one
walks faster, this takes additional effort, and it may be better to switch to running.
Walking very slowly also requires some (at the very least, mental) effort.
How does comfortable walking speed scale with the height of a person assuming
that the body proportions remain the same? (Incidentally, small children, especially
babies, have rather different proportions compared to adults.)
28 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
The key observation here is that when a person is walking comfortably, the extremities
(legs and arms) which can be modeled as physical pendulums swing at their natural
frequency. A person makes two steps during a period of the oscillation of a leg.
Since we assume that the body proportions are the same for people of different
height, the length of a step is proportional to the height of the person H. Now, the
speed is given by the length of a step times the frequency of the steps, i.e., the number
of steps per unit time, which, for a pendulum scales as (g/L)1/2 ∝ H −1/2 .
Combining these results, we find that the ratio of comfortable walking speeds scales
as H · H −1/2 = H 1/2 . To put this into numbers, a person who is two meters tall has
a comfortable walking speed that is about 15% faster than that for a person who is
150 cm tall.
 Rotating dumbbell 29

1.12 Rotating dumbbell

A symmetric dumbbell is suspended at its center of mass so that it can freely rotate
around any axis going through the suspension point. It is made to freely rotate around
the vertical axis as shown in Fig. 1.12. This is accomplished by constraining (with a
string) the distance between one of the weights forming the dumbbell and the vertical
 
axis. The vertical suspension rod is assumed to be non-deformable.
Describe the motion of the dumbbell after the string is suddenly cut.6

Fig. 1.12 A symmetric dumbbell is suspended at its center of mass and can freely rotate
in any direction. Initially, one of the weights is constrained with a string to be at a fixed
distance from the vertical axis, and the dumbbell is set to uniformly rotate about this axis.

6 We learned this problem from Prof. Derek Stacey of Oxford.

30 Mechanics, Heat, and General Physics

Solution
Consider the plane, e.g., that of the drawing in Figs. 1.12 and 1.13, which instanta-
neously contains the centers of both weights and the vertical. The angular-momentum
vector L of the dumbbell is also contained in this plane and is perpendicular to the
dumbbell’s axis. In the presence of the constraint, there is a torque that acts on
the dumbbell that leads to precession of the angular momentum around the vertical.
However, once the constraint is instantaneously removed, the angular momentum im-
mediately ceases its precession, and the dumbbell proceeds to rotate as shown in Fig.
1.13 around the axis collinear with the angular momentum.
 
One can say that there is no inertia for precession. This is true for both classical
and quantum systems such as atomic and nuclear spins. We find that many physicists’
intuition fails regarding this, especially when they are put on the spot ...

Fig. 1.13 The angular momentum of the dumbbell L is perpendicular to the axis of the
dumbbell. Once the constraint fixing the distance of one of the weights to the vertical axis is
removed, the dumbbell proceeds to rotate in such a way as to conserve L.
Another random document with
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O LORD our God, thou art infinitely good, and thou hast shewed
us what is good. Thou sendest out thy light and thy truth, that
they may guide us, and makest plain thy way before our face. Thou
givest us many opportunities and advantages, to quicken and further
us in thy service. We have line upon line, and precept upon precept;
thy messengers early and late, to open and apply thy word, to call
and warn, to direct and exhort us with all long-suffering. But how little
have we improved all the precious talents, which thou hast put into
our hands! O Lord, thou mightest justly take away the gospel of thy
kingdom from us, and give it unto another people, who would bring
forth the fruits thereof. Because thou hast called and we refused,
thou hast stretched forth thy hands, and we have not regarded, thou
mightest leave us to our own perverseness and impenitence, till our
iniquities became our ruin.

But, O Lord God, enter not thus into judgment with thy servants.
Pardon all our contempt of thy word, and our not profiting thereby.
And help us for the time to come, better to improve the blessed
opportunities set before us. As the rain descends from heaven and
returns not thither, but waters the earth and maketh it fruitful: so let
not thy word return unto thee void, but prosper in the work
whereunto thou sendest it. O make it effectual to build us all up, in
the true fear and love of God, and in the right knowledge and faith of
our Lord Jesus Christ.

O gracious God, may thy Spirit cause thy word to work

thoroughly and successfully in all our hearts. And as we daily
receive, how we ought to walk and to please thee our God; so help
us to walk worthy of the Lord, unto all well-pleasing: increasing in the
knowledge and love of thee, and abounding more and more in every
good work, which is pleasing in thy sight, through Jesus Christ.
 At his hands, O Lord our God, we beg thy gracious acceptance,
of our humble praise and thanksgiving, for all thy blessings, spiritual
and temporal, so freely conferred upon us. We praise thee for all the
comforts and conveniencies of this life, and for all the means and
hopes of a better: particularly for what we have received this day; the
food of our souls set before us; the word of salvation sounding in our
ears, and the Spirit of God striving with our hearts. O withdraw not
thy tender mercies from us, but still continue thy accustomed
goodness, and increase thy grace and heavenly blessings upon us,
and rejoice over us to do us good.

In mercy pass by all which thy most pure and holy eyes have
seen amiss in us this day. Forgive the iniquities of our holy things;
overlook all our sins and failings, through our great Mediator and
Redeemer, who ever lives at thy right-hand to make intercession for
us. And for Jesus Christ, and all which thou art pleased to give us
together with him; not unto us, O Lord, but unto thy name be all the
praise and honour and glory, humbly ascribed by us, and all thy
church, now and for evermore!

“Our Father, &c.”

 An A D D R E S S to the

C L E R G Y.
Brethren and Fathers,

L ET it not be imputed to forwardness, vanity or presumption, that

one who is of little esteem in the church, takes upon him thus
to address a body of people, to many of whom he owes the highest
reverence. I owe a still higher regard to him who I believe requires
this at my hands; to the great bishop of our souls; before whom both
you and I must shortly give an account of our stewardship. It is a
debt I owe to love, to real, disinterested affection, to declare what
has long been the burden of my soul. And may the God of love
enable you to read these lines, in the same spirit wherewith they
were wrote! It will easily appear to an unprejudiced reader, that I do
not speak from a spirit of anger or resentment. I know well, the wrath
of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Much less would I
utter one word out of contempt; a spirit justly abhorred by God and
man. Neither of these can consist with that earnest, tender love,
which is the motive of my present undertaking. In this spirit I desire
to cast my bread upon the waters; it is enough, if I find it again after
many days.
 Meantime you are sensible, love does not forbid, but rather
require plainness of speech. Has it not often constrained you as well
as me, to lay aside not only disguise, but reserve also? And by
manifestation of the truth to commend ourselves to every man’s
conscience in the sight of God? And while I endeavour to do this, let
me earnestly entreat you, for the love of God, for the love of your
own soul, for the love of the souls committed to your charge, yea,
and of the whole church of Christ, do not bias your mind, by thinking
who it is that speaks; but impartially consider, what is spoken. And if
it be false or foolish, reject it: but do not reject the words of truth and
soberness.

My first design was, to offer a few plain thoughts to the clergy of

our own church only. But upon farther reflection, I see no cause for
being so straitened in my own bowels. I am a debtor to all: and
therefore though I primarily speak to them with whom I am more
immediately connected, yet I would not be understood to exclude
any, of whatsoever denomination, whom God has called to watch
over the souls of others, as they that must give account.

In order to our giving this account with joy, are there not two
things which it highly imports us to consider, first, What manner of
men ought we to be? Secondly, Are we such, or are we not?

I. And, first, If we are overseers over the church of God, which he

hath bought with his own blood, what manner of men ought we to be,
in gifts as well as in grace?
 (1.) To begin with gifts, and 1. with those that are from nature.
Ought not a minister to have, 1st, A good understanding? A clear
apprehension, a sound judgment, and a capacity of reasoning with
some closeness? Is not this necessary in an high degree for the
work of the ministry? Otherwise how will he be able to understand
the various states of those under his care? Or to steer them through
a thousand difficulties and dangers, to the haven where they would
be? Is it not necessary, with respect to the numerous enemies whom
he has to encounter? Can a fool cope with all the men that know not
God? And with all the spirits of darkness? Nay, he will neither be
aware of the devices of Satan, nor the craftiness of his children.

2dly, Is it not highly expedient that a guide of souls should have

likewise some liveliness and readiness of thought? Or how will he be
able, when need requires, to answer a fool according to his folly?
How frequent is this need? Seeing we almost every where meet with
those empty, yet petulant creatures, who are far wiser in their own
eyes, than seven men that can render a reason. Reasoning
therefore is not the weapon to be used with them. You cannot deal
with them thus. They scorn being convinced; nor can they be
silenced, but in their own way.

3dly, To a sound understanding, and a lively turn of thought,

should be joined a good memory: if it may be, ready, that you may
make whatever occurs in reading or conversation, your own; but
however, retentive, lest we be ever learning, and never able to come
to the knowledge of the truth. On the contrary, every scribe
instructed unto the kingdom of heaven, every teacher fitted for his
work, is like an housholder who bringeth out of his treasures things
new and old.
 2. And as to acquired endowments, can he take one step aright,
without, first, a competent share of knowledge? A knowledge, 1st, of
his own office; of the high trust in which he stands, the important
work to which he is called? Is there any hope that a man should
discharge his office well, if he knows not what it is? That he should
acquit himself faithfully of a trust, the very nature whereof he does
not understand? Nay: if he knows not the work God has given him to
do, he cannot finish it.

2dly, No less necessary is a knowledge of the scriptures, which

teach us how to teach others: yea, a knowledge of all the scriptures;
seeing scripture interprets scripture; one part fixing the sense of
another. So that whether it be true or not, that every good textuary is
a good divine, it is certain, none can be a good divine who is not a
good textuary. None else can be mighty in the scriptures; able both
to instruct, and to stop the mouths of gainsayers.

In order to do this accurately, ought he not to know the literal

meaning of every word, verse and chapter, without which there can
be no firm foundation on which the spiritual meaning can be built?
Should he not likewise be able to deduce the proper corollaries,
speculative and practical, from each text; to solve the difficulties
which arise, and answer the objections which are or may be raised
against it; and to make a suitable application of all, to the
consciences of his hearers?

3dly, But can he do this, in the most effectual manner, without a

knowledge of the original tongues? Without this, will he not
frequently be at a stand, even as to texts which regard practice only?
But he will be under still greater difficulties, with respect to
controverted scriptures. He will be ill able to rescue these out of the
hands of any man of learning that would pervert them: for whenever
an appeal is made to the original, his mouth is stopt at once.
 4thly, Is not a knowledge of profane history likewise, of antient
customs, of chronology and geography, tho’ not absolutely
necessary, yet highly expedient for him that would throughly
understand the scriptures? Since the want even of this knowledge is
but poorly supplied by reading the comments of other men.

5thly, Some knowledge of the sciences also, is (to say the least)
equally expedient. Nay, may we not say, that the knowledge of one
(whether art or science) altho’ now quite unfashionable, is even
necessary, next, and in order to, the knowledge of the scripture
itself? I mean, logic. For what is this, if rightly understood, but the art
of good sense? Of apprehending things clearly, judging truly, and
reasoning conclusively? What is it, viewed in another light, but the
art of learning and teaching? Whether by convincing or persuading?
What is there then, in the whole compass of science, to be desired in
comparison of it?

Is not some acquaintance with what has been termed The

second part of logic, metaphysicks, if not so necessary as this, yet
highly expedient, 1. In order to clear our apprehension (without
which it is impossible either to judge correctly, or to reason closely or
conclusively) by ranging our ideas under general heads: and, 2. In
order to understand many useful writers, who can very hardly be
understood without it?

Should not a minister be acquainted too with at least the general

grounds of natural philosophy? Is not this a great help to the
accurate understanding several passages of scripture? Assisted by
this, he may himself comprehend, and on proper occasions explain
to others, how the invisible things of God are seen from the creation
of the world? how the heavens declare the glory of God, and the
firmament sheweth his handy work: till they cry out, O Lord, how
manifold are thy works! In wisdom hast thou made them all.

But how far can he go in this, without some knowledge of

geometry? which is likewise useful, not barely on this account, but to
give clearness of apprehension, and an habit of thinking closely and
connectedly.
 It must be allowed indeed, that some of these branches of
knowledge are not so indispensably necessary as the rest; and
therefore no thinking man will condemn the fathers of the Church, for
having in all ages and nations, appointed some to the ministry, who
suppose they had the capacity, yet had not had the opportunity of
attaining them. But what excuse is this, for one who has the
opportunity, and makes no use of it? What can be urged for a person
who has had an university education, if he does not understand them
all? Certainly, supposing him to have any capacity, to have common
understanding, he is inexcusable before God and man.

6thly, Can any who spend several years in those seats of

learning, be excused, if they do not add to that of the languages and
sciences, the knowledge of the fathers? The most authentic
commentators on scripture, as being both nearest the fountain, and
eminently endued with that spirit by whom all scripture was given? It
will be easily perceived, I speak chiefly of those who wrote before
the council of Nice. But who would not likewise desire to have some
acquaintance with those that followed them? With St. Chrysostom,
Basil, Jerome, Austin; and above all, the man of a broken heart,
Ephraim Syrus.

7thly, There is yet another branch of knowledge highly necessary

for a clergyman, and that is, knowledge of the world; a knowledge of
men, of their maxims, tempers and manners, such as they occur in
real life. Without this he will be liable to receive much hurt, and
capable of doing little good; as he will not know, either how to deal
with men, according to the vast variety of their characters; or to
preserve himself from those, who almost in every place lie in wait to
deceive.

How nearly allied to this, is, the discernment of spirits? so far as it

may be acquired by diligent observation. And can a guide of souls be
without it? If he is, is he not liable to stumble at every step?
 8thly, Can he be without an eminent share of prudence? that
most uncommon thing which is usually called common sense? But
how shall we define it? Shall we say, with the schools, that it is, recta
ratio rerum agibilium particularium? Or is it, an habitual consideration
of all the circumstances of a thing?

Quis, quid, ubi, quibus auxiliis, cur, quomodo quando?

And a facility of adapting our behaviour to the various combinations

of them? However it be defined, should it not be studied with all care,
and pursued with all earnestness of application? For what terrible
inconveniences ensue, whenever it is remarkably wanting?

9thly, Next to prudence or common sense (if it be not included

therein) a clergyman ought certainly to have some degree of good-
breeding: I mean, address, easiness and propriety of behaviour,
wherever his lot is cast: perhaps one might add, he should have (tho’
not the stateliness; for he is the servant of all, yet) all the courtesy of
a gentleman, joined with the correctness of a scholar. Do we want a
pattern of this? We have one in St. Paul, even before Felix, Festus,
King Agrippa. One can scarce help thinking, he was one of the best
bred men, one of the finest gentlemen in the world. O that we
likewise had the skill to please all men, for their good unto
edification!

In order to this, especially in our public ministrations, would not

one wish for a strong, clear, musical voice, and a good delivery, both
with regard to pronunciation and action? I name these here because
they are far more acquirable, than has been commonly imagined. A
♦remarkably weak and untuneable voice has by steady application
become strong and agreeable. Those who stammered almost at
every word, have learned to speak clearly and plainly. And many
who were eminently ungraceful in their pronunciation, and aukward
in their gesture, have in some time by art and labour not only
corrected that aukwardness of action, and ungracefulness of
utterance, but have become excellent in both, and in these respects
likewise the ornaments of their profession.
 ♦ “remarkable” replaced with “remarkably” per Errata

What may greatly encourage those who give themselves up to

the work, with regard to all these endowments, many of which
cannot be attained without considerable labour, is this: they are
assured of being assisted in all their labour, by him who teacheth
man knowledge. And who teacheth like him? Who, like him, giveth
wisdom to the simple? How easy is it for him, (if we desire it, and
believe that he is both able and willing to do this) by the powerful tho’
secret influences of his Spirit, to open and enlarge our
understanding; to strengthen all our faculties; to bring to our
remembrance whatsoever things are needful, and to fix and sharpen
our attention to them; so that we may profit above all who depend
wholly on themselves, in whatever may qualify us for our masters
work.

(2.) But all these things, however great they may be in

themselves, are little in comparison of those that follow. For what are
all other gifts, whether natural or acquired, when compared to the
grace of God? And how ought this to animate and govern the whole
intention, affection, and practice of a minister of Christ.
 1. As to his intention, both in undertaking this important office,
and in executing every part of it, ought it not to be singly this, to
glorify God, and to save souls from death? Is not this absolutely and
indispensably necessary, before all and above all things? If his eye
be single, his whole body, his whole soul, his whole work will be full
of light. God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, will
shine on his heart; will direct him in all his ways, will give him to see
the travel of his soul and be satisfied. But if his eye, his intention be
not single, if there be any mixture of meaner motives, (how much
more, if those were or are his leading motives in undertaking or
exercising this high office?) his whole body, his whole soul will be full
of darkness, even such as issues from the bottomless pit: let not
such a man think, that he shall have any blessing from the Lord. No:
The curse of God abideth on him. Let him not expect to enjoy any
settled peace, any solid comfort in his own breast: neither can he
hope, there will be any fruit of his labours, any sinners converted
unto God.

*2. As to his affections. Ought not a steward of the mysteries of

God, a shepherd of the souls for whom Christ died, to be endued
with an eminent measure of love to God, and love to all his brethren?
A love the same in kind, but in degree far beyond that of ordinary
Christians? Can he otherwise answer the high character he bears,
and the relation wherein he stands? Without this, how can he go
through all the toils and difficulties which necessarily attend the
faithful execution of his office? Would it be possible for a parent to go
through the pain and fatigue of bearing and bringing up even one
child, were it not for that vehement affection, that inexpressible
Στοργὴ, which the Creator has given for that very end? How much
less will it be possible for any pastor, any spiritual parent to go
through the pain and labour of travailing in birth for, and bringing up
many children, to the measure of the full stature of Christ, without a
large measure of that inexpressible affection, which a ♦ stranger
intermeddleth not with?

♦ “straning” replaced with “stranger”

 He therefore must be utterly void of understanding, must be a
madman of the highest order, who on any consideration whatever,
undertakes this office, while he is a stranger to this affection. Nay, I
have often wondered that any man in his senses, does not rather dig
or thresh for a livelihood, than continue therein, unless he feels at
least (which is extremâ lineâ amare) such an earnest concern for the
glory of God, and such a thirst after the salvation of souls, that he is
ready to do any thing, to lose any thing, or to suffer any thing, rather
than one should perish for whom Christ died.

And is not even this degree of love to God and man utterly
inconsistent with the love of the world? With the love of money or
praise? With the very lowest degree of either ambition or sensuality?
How much less can it consist with that poor, low, irrational, childish
principle, the love of diversions? (Surely even a man, were he
neither a minister, nor a Christian, should put away childish things.)
Not only this, but the love of pleasure, and what lies still deeper in
the soul, the love of ease, flees before it.
 *3. As to his practice. Unto the ungodly, saith God, why dost thou
preach my laws? What is a minister of Christ, a shepherd of souls,
unless he is all devoted to God? Unless he abstain with the utmost
care and diligence, from every evil word and work; from all
appearance of evil; yea, from the most innocent things, whereby any
might be offended or made weak? Is he not called above others, to
be an example to the flock, in his private as well as public character?
An example of all holy and heavenly tempers, filling the heart so as
to shine through the life? Consequently, is not his whole life, if he
walks worthy of his calling one incessant labour of love? One
continued tract of praising God, and helping man? One series of
thankfulness and beneficence? Is he not always humble, always
serious, tho’ rejoicing evermore; mild, gentle, patient, abstinent? May
you not resemble him to a guardian angel, ministering to those who
shall be heirs of salvation? Is he not one sent forth from God, to
stand between God and man, to ♦guard and assist the poor, helpless
children of men, to supply them both with light and strength, to guide
them through a thousand known and unknown dangers, ’till at the
appointed time he returns with those committed to his charge, to his
and their Father who is in heaven?

♦ “gaurd” replaced with “guard”

*O who is able to describe such a messenger of God, faithfully

executing his high office? Working together with God, with the great
Author both of the old and new creation! See his Lord the eternal
Son of God, going forth on that work of omnipotence, and creating
heaven and earth by the breath of his mouth! See the servant whom
he delighteth to honour, fulfilling the counsel of his will, and in his
name speaking the word whereby is raised a new spiritual creation.
Impowered by him, he says to the dark, unformed void of nature, let
there be light: and there is light. Old things are passed away: behold
all things are become new. He is continually employed, in what the
angels of God have not the honour to do, co-operating with the
Redeemer of men, in bringing many children to glory.
 Such is a true minister of Christ. And such, beyond all possibility
of dispute, ought both you and I to be.

II. But are we such? What are we in the respects above named?
It is a melancholy, but necessary consideration. It is true, many have
wrote upon this subject; and some of them admirably well. Yet few, if
any, at least in our nation, have carried their enquiry through all
these particulars. Neither have they always spoken so plain and
home, as the nature of the thing required. But why did they not? Was
it because they were unwilling to give pain to those whom they
loved? Or were they hindered by fear of disobliging? Or of incurring
any temporal inconvenience? Miserable fear! Is any temporal
inconvenience whatever to be laid in the ballance with the souls of
our brethren? Or were they prevented by shame, arising from a
consciousness of their own many and great defects? Undoubtedly
this might extenuate the fault, but not altogether remove it. For is it
not a wise advice, Be not ashamed when it concerneth thy soul?
Especially, when it concerns the souls of thousands also? In such a
case may God

“Set as a flint our steady face,

“Harden to adamant our brow!”

But is there not another hindrance? Should not compassion, should

not tenderness hinder us from giving pain? Yes, from giving
unnecessary pain. But what manner of tenderness is this? It is like
that of a surgeon who lets his patient be lost, because he is too
compassionate to probe his wounds. Cruel compassion! Let me give
pain, so I may save life. Let me probe, that God may heal.
 (1.) Are we then such as we are sensible we should be, 1st, With
regard to natural endowments? I am afraid not. If we were, how
many stumbling-blocks would be removed out of the way of serious
infidels? Alas, what terrible effects do we continually see of that
common, tho’ senseless imagination, “The boy, if he is fit for nothing
else, will do well enough for a parson?” Hence it is, that we see (I
would to God there were no such instance in all Great-Britain, or
Ireland) dull, heavy, blockish ministers; men of no life, no spirit; no
readiness of thought; who are consequently the jest of every pert
fool, every lively, airy coxcomb they meet. We see others whose
memory can retain nothing: therefore they can never be men of
considerable knowledge. They can never know much even of those
things which they are more nearly concerned to know. Alas they are
pouring the water into a leaky vessel; and the broken cistern can
hold no water. I do not say, with Plato, That “all human knowledge is
nothing but remembring.” Yet certain it is, that without remembring,
we can have but a small share of knowledge. And even those who
enjoy the most retentive memory, find great reason still to complain,

“Skill comes so slow, and life so fast does fly;

“We learn so little, and forget so much.”

And yet we see and bewail a still greater defect, in some that are
in the ministry. They want sense; they are defective in
understanding; their capacity is low and shallow: their apprehension
is muddy and confused: of consequence they are utterly incapable,
either of forming a true judgment of things, or of reasoning justly
upon any thing. O how can these who themselves know nothing
aright, impart knowledge to others? How instruct them in all the
variety of duty, to God, their neighbour, and themselves? How will
they guide them through all the mazes of error, through all the
intanglements of sin and temptation? How will they apprize them of
the devices of Satan, and guard them against all the wisdom of the
world?
 It is easy to perceive, I do not speak this for their sake; (for they
are incorrigible) but for the sake of parents, that they may open their
eyes and see, A blockhead can never “do well enough for a parson.”
He may do well enough for a tradesman; so well as to gain fifty or an
hundred thousand pounds. He may do well enough for a soldier; nay,
(if you pay well for it) for a very well-drest and well-mounted officer.
He may do well enough for a sailor, and may shine on the quarter-
deck of a man of war. He may do so well, in the capacity of a lawyer
or physician, as to ride in his gilt chariot. But O! think not of his being
a minister, unless you would bring a blot upon your family, a scandal
upon our church, and a reproach on the gospel, which he may
murder, but cannot teach.

Are we such as we are sensible we should be, 2dly, With regard

to acquired endowments? Here the matter (suppose we have
common understanding) lies more directly within our own power. But
under this, as well as the following heads, methinks, I would not
consider at all, how many or how few, are either excellent or
defective. I would only desire every person who reads this, to apply it
to himself. Certainly some one in the nation is defective. Am not I the
man?
 Let us each seriously examine himself. Have I 1. Such a
knowledge of scripture, as becomes him who undertakes so to
explain it to others, that it may be a light in all their paths? Have I a
full and clear view of the analogy of faith, which is the clue to guide
me through the whole? Am I acquainted with the several parts of
scripture; with all parts of the Old Testament and the New? Upon the
mention of any text, do I know the context, and the parallel places?
Have I that point at least of a good divine, the being a good textuary?
Do I know the grammatical construction of the four gospels? Of the
acts? Of the epistles? And am I a master of the spiritual sense (as
well as the literal) of what I read? Do I understand the scope of each
book, and how every part of it tends thereto? Have I skill to draw the
natural inferences deducible from each text? Do I know the
objections raised to them or from them by Jews, Deists, Papists,
Arians, Socinians, and all other sectaries, who more or less corrupt
or cauponize the word of God? Am I ready to give a satisfactory
answer to each of these objections? And have I learned to apply
every part of the sacred writings, as the various states of my hearers
require?

2. Do I understand Greek and Hebrew? Otherwise how can I

undertake (as every minister does) not only to explain books which
are written therein, but to defend them against all opponents? Am I
not at the mercy of every one who does understand, or even
pretends to understand the original? For which way can I confute his
pretence? Do I understand the language of the Old Testament?
Critically? At all? Can I read into English one of David’s psalms? Or
even the first chapter of Genesis? Do I understand the language of
the New Testament? Am I a critical master of it? Have I enough of it
even to read into English the first chapter of St. Luke? If not, how
many years did I spend at school? How many at the university? And
what was I doing all those years? Ought not shame to cover my
face?
 *3. Do I understand my own office? Have I deeply considered
before God the character which I bear? What is it to be an
ambassador of Christ? An envoy from the King of heaven? And do I
know and feel what is implied in watching over the souls of men, as
he that must give account?

Do I understand so much of profane history as tends to confirm

and illustrate the sacred? Am I acquainted with the antient customs
of the Jews and other nations mentioned in scripture? Have I a
competent knowledge of chronology, that at least which refers to the
sacred writings? And am I so far (if no farther) skilled in geography,
as to know the situation, and give some account of all the
considerable places mentioned therein?
 5. Am I a tolerable master of the sciences? Have I gone through
the very gate of them, logic? If not, I am not likely to go much farther,
when I stumble at the threshold. Do I understand it, so as to be ever
the better for it? To have it always ready for use? So as to apply
every rule of it, when occasion is, almost as naturally as I turn my
hand? Do I understand it at all? Are not even the moods and figures
above my comprehension? Do not I poorly endeavour to cover my
ignorance, by affecting to laugh at their barbarous names? Can I
even reduce an indirect mood to a direct? An hypothetic to a
categorical syllogism? Rather, have not my stupid indolence and
laziness, made me very ready to believe what the little wits and
pretty gentlemen affirm, “That logic is good for nothing?” It is good
for this at least (wherever it is understood) to make people talk less;
by shewing them both what is, and what is not to the point; and how
extremely hard it is to prove any thing. Do I understand
metaphysics? If not the depths of the schoolmen, the subtleties of
Scotus or Aquinas, yet the first rudiments, the general principles of
that useful science? Have I conquered so much of it, as to clear my
apprehension and range my ideas under proper heads? So much as
enables me to read with ease and pleasure as well as profit, Dr.
Henry More’s Works, Malebranche’s Search after Truth, and Dr.
Clark’s Demonstration of the Being and Attributes of God? Do I
understand natural philosophy? If I have not gone deep therein, have
I digested the general grounds of it? Have I mastered Gravesande,
Keil, Sir Isaac Newton’s Principia, with his Theory of Light and
Colours? In order thereto, have I laid in some stock of mathematical
knowledge? Am I master of the mathematical A B C, of Euclid’s
Elements? If I have not gone thus far, if I am such a novice still, what
have I been about ever since I came from school?

6. Am I acquainted with the fathers? At least with those venerable

men, who lived in the earliest ages of the church? Have I read over
and over the golden remains of Clemens Romanus, of Ignatius and
Polycarp? And have I given one reading, at least, to the works of
Justin Martyr, Tertullian, Origen, Clemens Alexandrinus and
Cyprian?